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myddle · 8 months

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"Casper & Nova" And "Cheers": The Beginning Of My Anime Villain Arc

After ruminating on it for a long time (this is the second draft of this goddamn post), I've come to understand what my issues were with the Fionna & Cake finale, and I'm ready to discuss it.

Big thanks to @bettycrockerscookbook and his post, "Fionna and Cake is a narrative about loss of agency, and I don't know if that was on purpose", it really helped me get my thoughts in order. There is some overlap between that post and mine, but my views predate reading it, although they are reworded for clarity.

Warning: Big Post, Spoilers, Opinions

I get what they were going for. I have full respect for everyone who loved the finale, and I give them all hugs and kisses.

But... it just didn't click for me. I still love the rest of the show, but I couldn't believe it's conclusion, and it left me feeling all hollow and rotten afterwards. I don't know it there's going to be a second season, but the ending felt very "happily ever after", so lets just presume not for now, and get into some things.

That Glitch Glitched Right Out Of The Plot

I probably should have seen this coming after BMO's corpse glitched in front of everyone and they didn't react, but it still sucks we didn't get an answer to this mystery, or at least some commentary on it. Heck, even back in "Winter King", Simon's tone describing the normalised Ice crown is more of dissapointment than confusion. It just feels like a waste, after all the set-up; I was excited to learn what was really going on there, or see how it would affect our protagonists.

Credit Where It's Due: The Lich/GOLB Scene Is Kinda Perfect

I don't wanna be too negative, so I must say I LOVED THIS SCENE. The Lich has been an insurmountable force of destruction for the whole series, both physically and morally, so seeing the one thing that could finally break him - his success - is fascinating to me. And then, without a word, GOLBetty dissassembles him in a horrifying display and turns him into one of those Tetris Blocks... I guess they must be GOLB's literal building blocks for crafting it's machinations. A terrifying glimpse into the Chaos God's methods.

Do We Have Time For A Choose Your Own Adventure Right Now, We Only Have Two Episodes Left

The Casper & Nova segment was super neat, and it was cool to see 1000+ Ooo again, but... I don't know. This framing device within a framing device is an awful lot of setup to do in the second to last episode. This is honestly more of a time-constraint issue though; I'd probably be more forgiving of it if I was on board with the rest of the finale.

Petrigrof Did Nothing Wrong (Except For The Things They Did That Were Wrong)

Simon and Betty's final goodbye was beautifully made. A heartfelt message of recognising and accepting the mistakes of your past. I just don't think I agree on what those mistakes are.

The concept of someone going along with everything their partner wanted, and the partner not realising because they were still happy, is an amazingly nuanced arc, but I don't think it fits Simon and Betty's relationship. Betty had agency, and wasn't afraid to disagree with Simon; just look at the way she dealt with the snakes, or how she kept Simon alive as Ice King against his wishes in hopes of curing him. And speaking of which, I don't think Betty was wrong for wanting to cure Simon - he DID NOT WANT to be Ice King - she just became too reckless and self-destructive. Summoning and merging with motherfucking GOLB was unambiguously a mistake, there were other things she could have done (I reckon Simon being vampirised by Marceline, then destroying the Crown would've worked, but that's not as good of a story).

I think a message on stopping the cycle of sacrifice would've been stronger, more coherent, but this sequence is still incredible.

Who Needs Stakes: Just Barf Up A Fuckin' Dandelion For The Class

Most of the stuff before this was nitpicks, and I wouldn't need to make this post if that was it. This is where we get into the things that I actually take issue with.

So the chain of events is Simon doesn't want the responsibility of the City of Um in his head, so GOLBetty (I think) compells the world out of him in the form of a dandelion. He gives the dandelion to Fionna, who blows on it to give it to everyone in the City, and then the world... becomes authorised? Huh? What? Like, I get the sentiment, but this feels like an asspull. And such a waste of plot, too! The idea of an entire universe being descriminated against by a celestial corporatocracy is so cool! I wanted to hear about the ideology behind that, and I wanted to see that injustice fought. But instead, they just... made it okay now, in a way that wasn't established as an option at all.

Doctor Petrikov: Multiverse Of Messed Up Implications

Most of my bigger points are really just differences of opinion: me not being happy with what the show turned out to be. But this? This is actually a plot hole.

To assist our heroes, Prismo decides to send in Jay and Little Destiny from Farmworld, Baby Finn from Baby World, and the Peppermint Tank from Vampire World. And after the dust settles, they just... stay there. Worse, the other characters from those worlds are never touched on again, despite the huge opportunity to do so in the ending montage. Are we just not supposed to care about those worlds? Is Farmworld Finn alive? What about Jay's siblings? Did Vampire World Bonnibel and Marceline kill eachother? Is the Vampire King just free to rule unopposed? WHAT ABOUT JAY'S SIBLINGS!?

Also, why didn't Prismo just teleport Scarab out of there? The tank didn't even do anything.

While I'm on the topic, check out OSP's Detail Diatribe on "The Multiverse Problem", it was very informative for my perspective here.

Alright, I Get It, Fionna Is A Bad Person For Wanting More Out Of Life

The series ends with Fionna learning to be happy in a mostly unchanged City of Um, and I just... I don't buy it. I cannot believe that Fionna is happy there after the song we opened this series on.

I'm not really feeling like my self today Hated every job I've had, what's wrong with me Every day's the same; Painfully mundane 'Cuz I'm running from my feelings and my fear of sudden change Everytime I leave my room, I wanna die Even when I'm with my friends, I'm alone inside 'Cuz nothing really matters, and I don't know what's sadder The fact I even try or that my hopes and dreams are shattered I'm not really feeling like my self today

It's probably not supposed to be one to one, but this paints a very dark picture of Fionna's psyche at the start of the series. This isn't boredom, this is a young woman being crushed by her environment.

Fionna struggled in the other universes because she didn't have her memories of Ooo, her experience of dealing with this kind of stuff. Throwing her in the multiversal deep end with none of her old life experiences didn't teach her she was wrong to want Ooo back, it just traumatised her, to the point she was arguing it was better for her universe to die than risk changing the people inside. Yes, her outlook at the beginning was childish and needed to change, but her mind overcorrected, giving her a nightmare of her desires hurting her loved ones.

And I was waiting for Fionna to realise that; that she doesn't just crave excitement, but autonomy, and heroism. That she wasn't wrong for wanting something else for herself. For being unhappy in the City of Um.

But... she doesn't. She just gives in, ready to die fighting when things looked bleak, and resigned to her fate when they recovered. Her world has functioning toilets. It's not so bad, right?

Easy to regret wanting to change your world when it's getting ripped apart in front of you.

This wasn't an either/or situation; after Scarab was dealt with, Fionna and Cake could have just pulled a Lemonhope and fucked off (Prismo would have done them the favour), but noooooo, being responsible means surrendering yourself to your own bleak existence, I guess. SPEAKING OF WHICH,

"I am myself. Like this."

When I heard Cake say this line, I was convinced that leaving the City of Um as it is would not be a happy ending. Setting aside the fact that Genderswap Ooo is technically the original version, Cake doesn't even need her memories to know that her stretchy Ooo form is her authentic self. She likes having options.

Condemning Cake to her City of Um form would be unethical, and the show knows this, because it doesn't. But what about the rest of Um's residents? Which side of the coin would they choose? They don't get that choice, because they don't even know. Gary and Marshall worry about losing their new relationship, not knowing about the potentially hundreds of years of history they've already lost. And how many more Cakes are there? Animal residents of Ooo that lost their autonomy and personhood in the shift? Lord Monochromicorn made it out alright, but I doubt Cake was the only one to suffer.

Of course, the situation isn't black and white. Some residents of Um, like Female Fern (should've been called Flora, but whatev), the Lemoncarbs and maybe Human Ice Queen (I like to call her Ice Creem) might be better off in the City of Um than Genderswap Ooo, presuming their stories resolved the same as their Ooo Prime counterparts (Considering only one Lemongrab was alive during "Come Along With Me", when the shift happened, but Um has two Lemoncarbs, I'm not convinced on that).

But ultimately, this lack of knowledge denies the people of Um the agency to choose what world they want to live in, and what form is their authentic self. Which makes Fionna's gesture of giving the world's fate to them ring pretty hollow. And as someone who is fighting very hard in hopes of living as my authentic self, this ending kinda hurts.

Disclaimer and Conclusion (unrelated pic, I just love this shot)

I'm not mad at the team behind Fionna and Cake for this ending. I definitely don't blame them for my problems with it, I don't think these dissonances were intended (unless they are gunning for a second season to resolve some of them, in which case globspeed) I respect their creative vision, and everyone who took home the good message they intended wasn't wrong to do so. From what I've seen, most people did, but some, like me, did find this ending unsatisfying.

Thing is, I'm still thankful. I loved the first eight episodes of this show, and my reaction to this finale has stirred within me the desire to make my own fan ending, as a creative excercise of sorts. Certainly fitting for a series about an in-universe fan-fic. I lost my creative drive some years ago, and I wasn't sure if I was ever going to get it back. I'm not sure how I'll go about making this fan ending, but if i manage it, I'll be sure to keep y'all posted.

So... thank you, Fionna & Cake. You got me to care about your story, and that's half the battle.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #casper and nova #cheers

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

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Akrasia.

Happy Birthday To the Golden Maknae.

Here’s a little treat in lieu of Jungkook’s 24th Birthday!!!

Canon Compliant.

Jungkook x OC

Word Count : 10K.

Genre : Mild Angst. ( Happy'Ending) Jungkook X OC

Akrasia (noun)

PHILOSOPHY the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.

Getting involved with someone like Jungkook is a bad idea. Do you even realize who he is? How much he’s worth? He’s easily one of the richest men in the country . He’s loved by everyone.

I wrapped the coat around myself, tighter. Everything that Lee Jiae had said was true. She was a popular idol . Someone who would actually make a good match for the Jeon Jungkook.

But even Jiae balked at the idea of going anywhere near someone like him.

Career suicide, she had said firmly. That would be career suicide, Areum. He has fangirls from all over the world. Billions of them. They will dig so deep into my past, find the most innocent of things and twist and turn it and the next thing I know, I’m being kicked out of my band, out of the company and on the streets. I don’t want that. And neither should you.

I shivered a bit. No, I thought honestly. I didn’t want that either. I was far from successful, just an up and coming soloist , with a very very niche fanbase. I did sell a lot of records and I made enough money to live comfortably but I was not a mainstream celebrity. I didn’t register on people’s radar because I stayed far away from the spotlight.

There was something about social media that made it a terrifying thing to me. It was so abstract and unreal and yet…it seemed almost like a sentient being.

A powerful sentient being that could potentially destroy my whole life.

It scared me.

And while Jungkook and BTS had conquered that particular monster, had leashed and saddled the beast and made it their own personal pet…. I didn’t want anything to do with that.

I don’t want that, I told myself firmly. I really don’t want that. I want to stay this way… make music I love… read the few dozen fan handwritten fan letters I received everyday, make the occasional appearance on a magazine cover and then just quietly retreat into my studio. I want this. And if I go anywhere near Jeon Jungkook, I’ll lose this. I’ll lose all of this.

My phone buzzed and I jumped, glancing around nervously. The late October wind was cold but not biting. Winter would come but not for a while. And yet my skin chilled in apprehension. I always felt guilty, picking up one of his calls in public. It felt like I was being watched, like everyone could hear me, on the phone …Could hear who I was talking to.

“Hello.” I whispered nervously, eyes flitting around to find a secluded spot in the park. It was early in the morning, still an hour away from sunrise and I quickly hopped over a small hedgerow and moved into a wooded area, away from the main path that had the occasional cyclist or jogger.

“You didn’t come.” His voice was honey, the way it dripped into my senses and made my breath catch. And yet it was the undercurrent of disappointment that tugged at my heart. Made guilt churn inside me in rapid little currents.

“Yes. Sorry.” I said quietly, picking my way past a few bushes to a bench a little way into the woods. It was rusty and damp because no one came here , and the darkness was absolute, only faintly broken by the dim glow of the streetlights hundred yards away. I settled into the bench nonetheless.

“Areum…. Don’t do this to me.” Jungkook said brokenly and I exhaled.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m being smart. And you should be too. You’re romanticizing something that was just…it was just a conversation. We had a conversation . That’s all that happened.” I said desperately. It was something I’d told myself over an over, these past few weeks. Weeks of avoiding his texts, of ignoring his calls.

Calls from his hyungdeul.

That had given me a whole heart attack.

“You’re just going to ignore me then? Toss my feelings away like they don’t matter?” He asked quietly and my heart clenched.

“You …” I shook my head.” You need to understand something. I’m not going to do this. I can’t afford to. I told you already Jungkook…we spent one evening talking..that’s it…we’re not dating..we don’t know each other well enough for you to be saying that you have feelings for me-“

“And I told you I don’t fucking care. “ He said sharply. “ One day… One hour…who cares? I believe in soulmates. Call me foolish and dumb but I do and when I saw you I felt that. And I know you felt it too.”

My mind flashed back to that evening. It was a private birthday party for a mutual friend. Barely a dozen of us had attended and Jungkook had been sneaking glances at me all evening, completely oblivious to the ay every woman in the room had their gaze glued on him. The party hadn’t been my thing at all and I’d sneaked away to the private terrace, accessible only through a rickety old fire escape and to my utter shock he had followed me up there.

The stars had been exceptionally bright that night, but with Jungkook sitting on the tiled roof next to me, gazing at me with all that adoration, his doe eyes had seemed to hold more of them than the night sky.

“What do you want, Jungkook?” I asked quietly.

“I want you. I know you want me. We …we understand each other. I want the same things you do. Do you even fucking realize how rare that is? To find someone who shares the same thoughts, the same dreams as you do? Who looks at the world the way you do… I… I am not foolish enough to think that there’s another girl out there who could connect to me the way you do. You call that a conversation…just a conversation…. Did you forget what kind of a conversation it was?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks ago

The party had barely started and I was already itching to run home. There was a particular song lyric , stuck in my head like a loop and I wanted to put it on paper as soon as possible. I had this thing where seeing something on print helped me to elaborate on an idea. Directed my train of thought in that particular direction if you willed.

Mingyu was walking around, talking to his friends and making them laugh with his witty banter but I didn’t miss the way he shot me little glances. I gave him a quick thumbs up though, to let him know I was okay. He was a childhood friend, one of the few people I’d stayed in touch with through the years. And of course, being in the same industry meant a lot of shared interests.

I moved to the side bar with the drinks and appetizers, ordering myself a diet coke before hopping onto one of the stools. I watched the dozen or so people here….His bandmates, some other idols. I recognized Yugyeom from GOT7. They were all dressed in dressy casuals : flashy shirts and tight jeans and racy little dresses and I felt out of place in my long jean skirt and tasseled leather jacket.

Sighing, I turned back to my drink when a commotion near the door made me look up.

I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was.

The Jeon Jungkook. From BTS.

I stared at him as did pretty much every person in the room. Jungkook was easily one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in my life, tall and just…big. I stared at the broad shoulders, the huge arms and the taut line of his abdomen, tapering into a narrow waist and long, long legs with muscular thighs. He was wearing a black shirt, unbuttoned all the way to his chest and skinny blue jeans with black boots.

I smiled, genuinely awed. Jungkook looked every bit like the untouchable superstar he was and I considered that the party hadn’t been a waste after all. The chances of me running into someone like that in person were pretty slim.

Almost at once he was surrounded and I watched as his ears turned red, gaze shifting away and an almost soft shyness in the way he bowed politely . A hesitation to be put on the spot but also a need to stay polite , probably. Laughing a bit , I watched him some more and then his gaze lifted to mine. To my surprise, his eyes went wide in what was clearly recognition.

What.

I watched as he quickly bowed and said something to the people around him before picking his way to me. My entire body went taut with surprise.

“Lee Areum ssi…” He stuttered, eyes wide and I could only gape. “ I’m a huge fan.”

I blinked.

What.

“You know who I am?” I asked , mildly horrified and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his palm across his nose before laughing a little.

“Your voice is just… something about your songs…they help me sleep when I’m too exhausted to relax.” He said softly and I felt warmth pool inside me.

“Too exhausted too sleep. That doesn’t sounf good...”

Jungkook chuckled.

“Its not. It usually happens when we’re preparing for a comeback. It different with concerts you know…we’re exhausted because we’ve been running around …singing…its all physical…mostly. And that’s easy to brush aside and sleep. But comebacks…there’s that nervousness. The worry that things may not be as good as they were. Constantly having to keep up to standards. “ He shook his head. “ it can get exhausting.”

It was something deep and oddly tragic and I was stunned that he’d shared something so… personal. To a literal stranger. But the urge to soothe..to comfort and reassure him in some way was over powering.

Instinctively, I leaned closer and lightly touched his forearm .

“But you are the standard, now, Jungkook ssi. What BTS has done, others can only dream of reaching. You’ve brought this….utopian idea that you can love yourself just the way you are… and that’s amazing. I understand the need to meet expectation but I think you’ve earned the right to sleep without being burdened by them.”

Jungkook didn’t reply, staring into my eyes and I felt my pulse kick up a notch, my eyes taking in the beautiful features and my throat went dry when his gaze dropped to where my fingers lightly brushed the soft fabric of his shirt sleeve.

“Oppa…Let’s dance.” A shrill voice behind him made us both jump and I quickly pulled my hand away. Panicking, I turned away from him fully, ducking my head so my hair could cover my face. There was a dull roaring in my head, making it hard to hear what he was saying but a second later he moved away from the bar and I exhaled sharply.

Shaking I turned back to my drink.

Another twenty minutes of trying to avoid looking at Jungkook, I gave up. This wasn’t my kind of place at all and after a quick word with Mingyu, I moved to the small balcony in the side, desperate for some fresh air. But the moment I stepped out, my eyes fell on the rickety ladder like stairs, rusty and clearly a death trap. I quickly moved to the ledge and peered up at the roof. It was a little inclined but nothing dangerous. And there was a barricade that would break my fall, just in case I slipped.

Thrilled at the prospect of doing something that was both foolish and fancy free, I quickly, climbed on to the ladder, climbing all the way over to the top and throwing my legs over the iron railing before carefully walking overt to the center of the roof. Grinning to myself, I settled on the slightly damp tiles.

“You’re lucky the ladder didn’t break .” Jungkook’s voice made me yelp and I stared as he quickly jumped over the railing himself, grinning and wiping his hands on his thighs.

“Oh my god, people are going to find us here!” I hissed, terrified and he laughed.

“Don’t worry. I told them I’m going home.”

“You lied?” I shook my head in disbelief and Jungkook hummed.

“Did I?” He pretended to think. “ Doesn’t feel like I did.”

It took me a few seconds for the implication to sink in.

I looked away, blushing a bit.

“Did I come on too strong?” He moved to sit next to me, just a foot away.

I shook my head.

“No. I’m just.. I didn’t expect you to know me. We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”

“There’s a very cliché line in my head about how you’ve been running in circles in my head for a long time but I’ll save that for our first date.” He said with a laugh and I blushed deeper.

“Date?” I shook my head, “ That’s not funny.”

“Good. Because it wasn’t a joke. Let me take you out to dinner sometime.”

I stared at him, trying to look for the punchline because even if he denied it, it was still laughable. The mere idea of it.

“Don’t turn me down Areum ssi.” He said softly and I swallowed.

“I won’t if you take it back.” I said quietly.

He sighed.

“Then…when you sang about wanting to give love a chance…wanting to free fall for once without worrying about the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, wanting to soar into the sky without thinking of the ropes trying to tether you to the ground….were you joking?”

I gaped at him.

“that’s.. those are… Those are lines from before my debut.” I said shakily.

“Like I said… I’ve been a fan for a long time.” Jungkook whispered.

The night was magical. Cool and refreshing and the night sky was resplendent, the lack of clouds offering a stellar view of the stars and yet, I found myself drawn to the galaxies swirling in his doe eyes. The strong nose and the cherry red lips, now being worried between slightly large front teeth as he stared at me with all the nervousness of a young boy.

But he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.

And this wasn’t a love song.

This was real life.

“Free falling is fun when you don’t know what you’re falling into. But when you do know that there’s a lot of pain at the end of the fall, its not something you want to experience.”

“Areum…”

“I’m flattered.” I said quickly. “ Beyond flattered…really. But… I can’t.”

“Okay. But don’t leave. Stay here with me.. for a while. Let’s talk.” He said quickly.

Jungkook was handsome and the night was still young. This maybe the last time I would ever see him and I was honest. It was flattering, receiving attention from someone like that.

I hesitated before sighing and nodding.

“Okay…let’s talk.” I smiled, throwing caution to the winds.

And talk we did. About everything and nothing. As the night grew darker, Jungkook relaxed next to me, laughing as he shared anecdotes about his members, about his family, about his brother. And then naturally about how successful they were these days and Jungkook told me that there was always a downside to fame but he enjoyed the love he received. That he loved his fans for how they treated him and his brothers.

“Fame comes with a price but it’s a small price to pay…being loved for what I do..being accepted the way I am…it feels good.” He said quietly.

“It’s not always that way though.” I pointed out honestly. “ You guys are … I won’t say lucky because you’ve definitely worked hard but you’ve been more fortunate than the rest. Sometimes the spotlight can be a terrifying place to be.”

“you forget that we were once one of the most hated idols in the country..” He laughed. “ Trust me I know.”

“I didn’t know about you guys till you got on the Billboard. And you’re an amazing singer as well.” I said softly.

He grinned , playing with the bracelets on his wrist.

“Thank you.” He said sweetly.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, staring up at the sky.

“I’ve never been attracted to fame.” I told him honestly.” Of course it holds its charms I suppose but I’ve always preferred the quiet of being obscure, you know. Like this secret that only a few get to learn in their lifetime.” I laughed. “ A hidden treasure maybe? Its why I started a Youtube channel instead of auditioning. Because only people who genuinely liked my music would get more of me. ” I smiled.

Jungkook hummed.

“When you first started singing your own songs on your YouTube channel? It was kind of around the same time we won our first daesang…” He smiled. “ In the MMA.”

“Oh…Really?” I asked surprised. That was nearly five years ago.

“Yeah. And till then..it was just your voice that I got to hear. You talked a bit but mostly it was just you covering someone else’s songs. And well, after we won the daesang I felt …lonely? Kind of? Scared maybe. And then you sang, ‘ White Dove’ a couple of days later and the lyrics…they just resonated with me you know. It made me feel like I knew you… Like you were a friend.”

I swallowed.

“I..thank you.” I whispered quietly, staring at my hands.

“And when you refused to sign with SM or YG. You also refused to monetize your videos on Youtube. You said your voice was your gift and you didn’t want to make money from something you’d received for free yourself. That …I loved that.”

“You’re like that too. You post your covers and songs on soundcloud for free as well.” I said quietly and he smiled.

“Like I said…we have a lot in common.” He smiled.

I smiled, shaking my head.

“I envy you.” He said quietly and I glanced at him.

“Hmm?”

“You’re just… You’re so untouched by all this. By me. It may sound incredibly narcissistic but people swoon when they see me for the first time but…you’re just you…. And that just makes me remember that you’re amazing and beautiful and you have such beautiful mind and you’re just… you’re so far out of my league. You’re so content with what you have and I wish I could be that way….But I …I can’t help but be greedy.”

“Greedy?”

“To do more. To want more. I know I should be happy that I even got to meet you . I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two hours , sitting here talking to you. But I’m still greedy for more.” He stared at me with an intensity that was electric.

“More what?” I laughed.

“More of this. More of you. More of you and me together. More of us.”

“Us?” I laughed, shaking my head. “ There’s no us , Mr. Jungkook . you need to forget about that.”

“ I don’t think I can.” He said suddenly.

I felt the smile fade from my face.

“Jungkook.”

“Your song … Utopia… where you write about your idea of the perfect world. I… I loved it.” He said shakily.

“Jungkook , wait…”

“All of these days, when I listened to your songs, I would make it personal.. It would be about how those words applied to my life but with Utopia… that world you talk about …where you can be yourself, where you can sing whatever you want, be whoever you want…. When I heard that song…it became about you. About us.. I… that world you dream of.. I want to give that to you.”

My jaw dropped and I exhaled in disbelief.

“Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Your fans…our companies… Everyone will lose their minds.” I whispered, horrified.

He nodded.

“I know. I know I shouldn’t ask you this. Because it goes against my better judgement. But I can’t help. I still want to choose this. Choose you. So if there’s a word for that.. That is how I feel.”

“I.. I should go.” I said nervously, making to move but he reached out an gently gripped my wrist.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked quietly and I shook my head.

“No.. I don’t.” I said quietly.

“Good. Because neither do I. But I do believe in people who can understand you better than anyone else can. Just give me a chance. One date.”

I stayed quiet staring at my feet. There was so much to consider but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and say no. He looked so hopeful.

“I’m busy for a couple of weeks. But there’s a beautiful terrace restaurant in Itaewon that I know. We’ll have complete privacy . I’ll get my chauffeur to pick you up. No one ill know. I just want to spend some time with you over dinner and if you have a good time….. we can meet again.”

And then what?

“I…I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.“ I said honestly.

“That’s good enough for me. Can I have your number at least?” He asked finally.

I nodded and quietly put it into his phone.

“I’ll make the reservation and send you the details. And Areum?”

I glanced up at him.

“I’ve been free falling since I met you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

“I do.” I said quietly. “ I do remember.”

“I haven’t stopped falling. I keep listening to your songs on loop… Because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you , of not being connected to you in some way…”

“You’re so .. you’re so intense.” I whispered shakily and he laughed.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I am… I’m here you know. The restaurant I told you about. And my chauffeur is at your home. But he told me he couldn’t find you. It’s the middle of the night . where are you?”

I sighed.

“In the park opposite my house.”

Jungkook didn’t respond for a second.

“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” He asked quietly.

I took a deep breath.

“ Akrasia. “ I breathed out nervously.

“What…”

“its when someone makes a decision…against their better judgement.” I laughed nervously. “When we had that conversation , you asked me if there was a word for it. For acting against your better judgement. Akrasia is the word you’re looking for .”

He stayed quiet on the other end.

“Okay.” He said finally. “ Well, are you going to be akratic with me?” he said finally.

“Ask your driver to leave for now. And come meet me in my apartment tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.”

Jungkook didn’t respond.

“That way we’ll have more privacy.” I said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dating Jungkook was a lot of pain. Just as I’d anticipated. It was sitting by and watching him work himself down to the bone. It was watching people throw themselves at him and not being able to say a word. To the world he was single. And the number of women who called and hounded him was unnatural.

And he worked so hard that my heart ached for him.

One night, he missed dinner and I couldn’t reach him on the phone. I stayed up , sitting on my bed, waiting.

He came back at exactly at three in the morning. He didn't turn on the light but the moonlight through the window was sufficient to let me know that he looked terrible. i watched him shrug out of his jacket, leaning against the table , long legs crossed and crisp white shirt unbuttoned. He tugged at his tie with a sort of tired , half hearted gesture and i smiled.

i watched him for sometime, seeing him shrug out of his shirt and change into a simple white t shirt. He moved with a sort of graceful strength. Like every single cell of his body had the same confidence that he did.

It was like a dream, i realized as another dull ache of pain twisted my heart. It was like i'd slept and woken up in someone else's dream. A dream where it was okay for me to look at him and feel things for him , without fighting to convince herself that it was dangerous. That it was going to end in heartbreak.

As i watched him prepare for bed, i wondered when I had started falling so hard.

The sound of the door closing, made me look up , shaken out of my thoughts. Jungkook was locking the door behind him.

When he moved to the bed, i decided to let him know that i was awake.

"You're back?" i said softly.

He hesitated, clearly startled , before smiling at me. It was a weak smile, one that practically screamed exhaustion and i sat up straighter, watching as he moved to me side and gently stroked me hair.

"Why aren't you asleep?" He smiled.

"I was waiting for you." i said honestly holding my hand out and he took it, kissing it obediently.

"you'll have to wait longer, I'm afraid. I have a meeting tomorrow morning with PDnim and I still haven't prepped for it. I need to get an hour's sleep and get back to work. " Up close he looked so tired that i felt my heart clench in panic.

"You don't look good." i said, alarmed as i realized that his skin had a distinctively grayish tinge to it.

"Comeback times are always that way. Never good for my health." He said teasingly. He checked his phone messages before turning to me and smiling.

"I see you've been cutting back on the pain killers... are you feeling better than?" He asked. I’d been down with some menstrual cramps earlier and I was touched that he remembered, even in the mess of his schedule.

"I wish you wouldn't change the topic everytime I try to show concern for you." i said , a little bit annoyed. He grinned and touched my cheek with his forefinger.

"Just the fact that you are concerned is enough for me . anything more and I might die of happiness. you don't want that do you?" He winked.

Deciding that it was impossible to talk with the man, i asked him if he wanted something to drink.

He shook his head and climbed in next to me but before laying down, he turned to me.

He hesitated.

"Will you lend me your shoulder for the night?" He said softly , placing his hand there.

i sighed as he leaned against me . His skin felt warm against me, his hair lightly tickling me cheekbones and i threaded me finger through the silky strands.

In just a few seconds, he was fast asleep.

I stayed awake, watching the room grow steadily brighter, the weak winter sun gently finding its way into the room , much like the way the man in my arms was gently finding his way into my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We should get a house, don't you think?" i said two months later, sitting up in bed , eating dinner while i watched him work on his files. He'd placed the desk in the far corner of the room, giving me the perfect view. And i was beginning to enjoy it a lot more than the one i could see out the window.

" A house? " Jungkook stopped and looked up. " You want to live with me ? Just the two of us?" He smiled.

Well, when he put it that way. I balked and ducked my head.

"It's too soon isn't it..I'm sorry I don't know why I..."

"What kind of a house would you prefer? Flat? Penthouse? Apartment? Duplex? Tell me....I'll get you the listings and you can pick out the ones you like . When you get better we can go pick one out." He grinned at me and i relaxed against the pillows , while he went back to his files.

"I read something online…” i said casually . He didn't look up, merely humming to acknowledge that he'd heard me.

"Did you date Lee Hyeri ?" i finally said. He stopped and looked at me.

"Yes. Many months ago. I broke up with her because I wasn’t feeling anything serious and I didn’t want to lead her one. She didn’t take it very well. ." He said softly, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge. As was his habit, he reached for my hand, holding it in his and tracing circles with his thumb.

“She called me.” I said quietly and he stiffened.

“Shit.”

I laughed.

“She wanted to meet me . Wanted to talk about something although I have an idea what. I’m not going to indulge her though.”

“If she calls again, you should tell her that her obsession is bordering on stalking and I’m on the verge of getting a restraining order. She turned up at my studio too. Went on an on about how I broke her heart and cheated on her . ”

i hesitated , looking away from him and smiling.

"I don't know . Should I?" i shook my head. i hesitated, pulling my hand away from him. "What else did she say?" i said suddenly, remembering how angry she had sounded on the phone.

"Nothing, you need to worry about. Are you done with this? Shall I clean it up?" He reached for my dinner tray and i grabbed his wrist.

"where are you going? You should tell me what she said." i protested, but he gently pried my fingers off before dropping a kiss on me forehead .

"And You should tell me when you're going to start staying over at my apartment.. It's going to snow in a few days. Or so they say. I thought you might like to enjoy the first snow with me..." He smiled .

I took the subtle hint to drop the subject.

"You're being too wonderful. It makes my heart ache." i snuggled into my bed and pouted at him. He laughed at that.

"Take rest. I have a meeting right now. I'll be back late so you should sleep."

I watched him leave, feeling oddly bereft. I was growing to love him deeply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As with every couple in the world, our fights were often over the silliest things.

"You're still angry." I said casually, watching him work on his documents, the low burning desk light setting his features in sharp relief. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.

"I'm not angry , Areum. I'm busy. There is a difference." He said with a sigh, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. I watched the gesture and sat up straighter in bed, leaning over the side to stare at the clock there. It read 1.15 Am.

"It's snowing." I said softly, getting one my knees and peering out the windows. Through the haze of moonlight, I watched the small flakes drift down over the neatly cut hedgerows, making each segment of the garden look like neat cut slices of cake with vanilla cream frosting. I grinned at the little wisps of cotton white snow, clinging to each little branch on the trees and felt my heart swell with joy.

"I suppose you're too busy to make good on your promise." I said naughtily, peering over my shoulder to glance at him.

"Promise?"

"That you'll walk with me , in the first snow." I said, turning around and getting out of bed, slipping my feet into my fur slippers. I watched him fight with himself , the emotions warring across his handsome face and held my breath.

finally he sighed and stood up. I tried to keep the triumphant grin off my face and failed miserably. I felt awful, because deep down I had known that no matter how angry or upset he was, Jungkook would never break a promise. And I'd worded my request that way, just to take advantage of that little chink of honor that he always lived by.

"Alright then. Let's go take a walk in the first snow." He said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You love snow."

"How did you know that?" I said surprised, lightly grabbing the low lying branch till it showered both of us with soft white flakes.

"You make these little sounds , everytime you see snow. I've noticed it from the time we met." Jungkook grinned .

I laughed and turned away. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a fairytale, the white landscape making me feel like some exotic Ice Queen. I walked ahead of him, running a few steps till I was about ten feet ahead of him. I turned around, facing him as I walked backwards. He laughed at that.

"Be careful. The snow looks soft but the fall will hurt." He warned me, putting his hands in his pockets and narrowing his shoulders to fight the chill. I smiled and shook my head.

"I want to look at you and make sure that you're not angry with me anymore." I said, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not angry. I told you that."

"Yes. You did. But i didn't tell you I'm sorry, did I?" I said softly, stopping in my tracks and watching as he drew closer. Jungkook gave me a curious glance, walking slowly till he was just in front of me.

"I'm sorry I said I'll leave you." I said honestly. He looked surprised but smiled nonetheless.

"Duly noted." He bowed his head, tipping an imaginary hat at me. Smiling, I turned around I ran a few more steps and instinctively knelt on the ground

"Don't ." He said suddenly.

I looked up from where I was gathering a handful of snow. I gave him an innocent smile.

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking. don't do it." He said, taking a step back. I felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through me, realizing that the big bad wolf was actually scared of being hit by a snowball.

"You should know why I like snow so much.." I grinned with mischief and he gave me a look of disbelief.

"I don't think you can hit me. You're forgetting that i'm an expert at taekwondo.”

I held my hand up and threw , cursing when he casually stepped out of the way, laughing at the look on my face.

"You have to concentrate on what you're doing. Anticipate my next move and react accordingly." He advised, bending down to get some snow for himself.

"React to this!!" I grabbed two handfuls of snow and ran straight at him, grinning as I leapt on him.

We landed on the snow, Jungkook on his back and I right on top of him, laughing as I smeared the snow on his face. He spluttered in disbelief and swiftly, threw his weight over, pinning me to the ground and straddling me, fingers swiftly grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands over my head, leaving me vulnerable and helpless, as he shook his head , showering me with ice cold flakes.

I squeaked in surprise and he laughed hard.

Watching him laugh, full and open , I realized that I'd never watched him laugh that way before.

He looked exhilarated.

Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss.

the first touch of his lips to mine, felt like the sweetest, coolest sip of crystal waters after a lifelong thirst .

I sank into the snow, sighing into the sweetness and the gentle pressure of his lips against me, the first touch of his tongue, making heat seep through my body, despite the cold. I curled my fingers into the fur near his neck, smiling into the kiss as he slipped one hand into my hair, gently tilting my head for better access.

He kissed me softly. He kissed me deeply.

He kissed me like that was what he'd been put on the earth to do.

But mostly he kissed me like that was all he wanted .

It was so absurdly romantic that I wanted to laugh .

I could catch whiffs of his scent, even though my eyes were watering and mey nose felt like it was running. Some elusive cologne mixed with the scent of clean male skin . It made me heat up in ways that curled my toes in my fur boots. Each little kiss lasted a little longer than the one before, till I was certain that I was going to melt into the snow. And each little breath felt like a little wisp of my soul leaving my body and mingling with his.

We kissed and kissed and kissed, while the snow fell in white flakes around us .

First Snow. first kiss, I thought happily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After our little episode in the garden, I found that I felt something akin to desperation everytime I came in contact with Jungkook.

It's not that I woke up one day and realized that something had changed in the way I watched Jungkook.

. That my eyes lingered, not just on his face but on the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the exposed skin of his neck. My fingers wanted to reach out and grip, not just the strength of his shoulders and the slender digits of his hand but also his lean waist.

I began losing my mind, slowly and painfully. Suffocating when Jungkook got too close , choking when he went away too far.

As they spent time together, Jungkook began touching me.

. Not too often and never in an intrusive way , but every time his fingers traced the back of my palm or brushed back my hair, my throat went dry and my heart stopped pumping blood and I felt like like a fool because I had no idea if Jungkook felt half of what I was feeling.

In fact I was certain that Jungkook didn’t feel anything at all.

What I was feeling was painful and confusing and if Jungkook felt any of it, he would be running as far away from me as possible, not moving closer and closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why are you so nervous?” Jungkook laughed and I bit my nails nervously, glancing around the reception hesitantly. The workers were all busy, no one spared us so much as a glance but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.

“It’s only us here? For the whole weekend? No one else?” I asked again for the hundredth time.

Jungkook groaned, shaking his head and ignoring me, holding his hand out for the keys to our cottage. I yelped a bit when he began walking away without waiting for me, running to keep up with his long strides.

“Sorry…I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” I said quietly, slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers together and smiling a little.

He squeezed my hand gently before pulling away to wrap me in a one armed huge, pressing a kiss to my neck.

“I booked the entire resort for the weekend. The staff have all signed a confidentiality agreement. No one is going to know we’re here. You can be as loud as you want.” He whispered and I yelped, hitting his chest,” let me finish….” He laughed. “ When you yell at me. You can be as loud as you want when you yell at me.”

“You’re a terrible person.” I whispered , burying my face into his arm in mortification.

Jungkook merely laughed .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You seem tense." He said that evening, as the pair of us sat on the back deck , glasses of bubble tea in hand , watching the waves break out on the rocks. Slow but persistent , gradually breaking the rock's resistance and carving its way into its heart.

"Can we ever …truly be relaxed ?" I asked , a little bit of desperation in my tone. Jungkook didn’t turn to look at me . Instead he took a picture of the rocks and the sea with his phone.

"That's a pretty loaded question. With a lot of answers."

I stared at him, wondering why I was more confused now than before.

"Sometimes I can't understand you at all." I said quietly, shaking my head.

“Do you understand that I love you?” He said softly.

I hesitated before nodding.

“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys dropped by for a visit the next day.

I sat down on the open deck, opposite Namjoon for a game of chess. Jungkook slid into the armchair next to me.

"Are you winning?" Jungkook asked quietly and I shot him a glare, which gets a smile in return promptly. It was like he always knew what to say , how to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, how to make me look and feel a certain way , just so he could steal that part of mr away.

How evil.

At first I didn’t notice that he was sitting a bit too close for comfort, because as such, we've lived on top of each other for quite a while now. But after a while I became aware of the warmth of his thigh, solid and strong against my own, evident even through the layers of jean separating them.

I tried to move away, surreptitiously, but Jungkook only moved closer.

"Try this."

His fingers fluttered over my thigh, intentionally or not I would never know, reaching for my queen and I tried not to jump out of my skin, gritting my teeth as my muscles stiffened, my nerves tingling like electric.

I licked my lips and Jungkook’s eyes flickered up at the movement, a gentle smile tugging at his lips and my gut clenched in embarrassment. But the brunette moved even closer, his bare arm now brushing against mine and I had to swallow the desperate urge to get up and just run.

"Well, this is entertaining." Namjoon said suddenly and i looks at my opponent for the first time since Jungkook’s arrival. Namjoon was leaning back in his armchair, amusement shining out of his eyes .

I scrambled in a bid to put space between Jungkook and I and failed miserably.

"He's just helping me with chess." I said desperately.

"Oh, is that what they call it these days?" Namjoon leaned forward looking very intrigued.

Jungkook reached out and clonked him on the head but his eyes were laughing and I wondered how this was going to end. I wanted it. Wanted to take that final step with Jungkook but I was also so , so scared.

Would it change things. For the better? For worse?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook, I soon realized, took the way I was shying away from him , as some sort of a twisted challenge to get closer than ever. The more I moved away, the closer Jungkook gets , touching me in gentle intimate little touches and every time he did, a slow simmering fire started at the pit of my stomach, reaching out in gentle upward licks , drying my throat and turning my insides into molten goo.

She's almost tempted to ask Jungkook if he feels the same way but she's saved the trouble later that week.

"I want you."

I froze on the spot, fingers stopping in mid air, inches from picking up a slice of apple, neatly placed on the tray. We were in the dining room, Jungkook sitting with a set of files spread out in front of him and me with a knife and a few uncut apples in a basket.

"You..what?" I squeaked.

" I'm attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you." Jungkook said , almost carefully.

Like he was announcing the weather. Like his words weren’t carefully calculated to turn my world upside down.

"Alright. " I whispered, not even sure what else I could say to that.

I stole a glance at Jungkook who was grinning from ear to ear. I felt blush rushing up my body, the blood flooding my face so quick it made me dizzy..

"Don't .. Don't look at me like that." I whispered, mortified to sound like a sixteen year old girl.

"Do you want me to leave now?" Jungkook reached out , placing a soft hand on my palm and it took all my willpower not to grab Jungkook and hug him. Instead I managed a weak smile. My mind was a few seconds away from collapsing in on itself and I was too stunnedto think straight.

So I answered the question at face value.

"No, I don't want you to leave now. "

"Okay. Go ahead, eat your fruit. It's good for you."

Jungkook smiled again, serene and perfectly at peace with the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At eleven thirty on Saturday night, both Jungkook and I sneaked out of the hotel, arms laden with our picnic basket and coats draped over our shoulders. Once we reached large pond in the outer edge of the property, Jungkook made quick work of the blanket, spreading it out on the artificial lawn that surrounded it.

I settled down on it, reaching out and dipping my legs in the water. It's a bit chilly but only for a second. I wriggled my toes playfully and Jungkook slipped a bit closer to me, letting his foot sink in next to mine.

We played around for a while, splashing water on each other and then I pulled my legs out.

"You okay?" Jungkook asked softly and I turned around to stare at him , a little apprehensive. There are so many things wrong with this , a part of me screams. But there's a part of me that longs, so badly , for this simplicity. Longs and has longed, all my life. Just this, the chance to relax and be myself and play around with water in the moonlight.

"I'm not sure." I admitted, honestly.

"Tell me. " Jungkook said and for once his voice isn't relaxed. Instead it's a bit urgent and anxious.

"We're not... I’m so scared that we'll never make it, you know." I sighed, dipping my legs back into the water, just as Jungkook pulled his out.

"Why? Because of the media ?" There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice and I hated myself for bringing this up. We were supposed to be spending time together, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sup[posed to be ruining the mood like this.

"It's nothing. I just.. I don't want you to get hurt." I said honestly.

"Because of you? Because I'm with you?" Jungkook's voice was lot softer now, the bitterness replaced by concern.

"I.. Yes.. I mean... I'm.."

"You're a gorgeous young woman who is intelligent and charming. Why would I ever give you up?" Jungkook asked, reaching out and wrapping an arm around my shoulder but I couldn’t help but sigh.

"That's.. that's not what everyone else thinks." I reminded him. “ And that not what they’ll say, if you ever tell them the truth about us.”

"No it isn't. And I won't say something stupid like , it doesn't matter what others think. Because it does, I know it does. And it's going to hurt. In fact I think it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me. But if I don't... If I don't take a chance with us... that's going to hurt me too. So its a choice. I can either choose to get hurt by people I don't give a damn about , and in return I get... get to be with someone I really...like…..

"Or, I give up the woman I love and get hurt by my own decision. " Jungkook finished.

"We hurt either way." I smiled bitterly, Jungkook's words making a lot of sense.

"Yes. All you need to choose is , what's worth the hurt? Being with me, or society's approval?" Jungkook leaned forward slightly and I blinked.

We stayed that way staring at each other for a second and then he pulled away and sighed deeply.

"I've already chosen, I. I'm not pushing you, but I hope you'll pick me." He said quietly.

I stared into the night, thoughtfully. So easy, I told myself. So easy to turn around right now and kiss Jungkook, tell him that I didn’t deserve so much happiness. That my heart was so light, I wanted to spout wings and fly.

So easy but so frightening.

The wind picked up somewhere and somehow a draught found its way inside and I shivered a little, only to have a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulder. Jungkook snuggled in with me and we huddled together

My thoughts tripped over each other and I wanted to run away but I stayed still, letting the gentle lap of the water against my toe, calm my inner turmoil.

"It's just you and me." Jungkook whispered, " Right now. Just you and me. Let's pretend we're the only ones on the planet."

I turned around to the brunette in surprise but Jungkook's looking out into the water, lit by a full moon from the skylight.

"Just you and me. " He said absently and I nodded, looping my fingers with Jungkook's. We sat in silence, pressed against each other and I waited till the moon slipped behind a cloud before turning around, slightly, and pressing my lips against Jungkook's.

It's soft and very short, over before it even begins and Jungkook smiled into the kiss.

Explicit Content :

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook teasingly pushes her back and Areum falls back against the soft mattress, like she's been shoved. She melts into the kiss and then Jungkook’s lips move away, dragging his teeth and tongue over the exposed expanse of her neck, lightly sucking and biting and then soothing with his tongue. Areum gasps and struggles and fights for air, before dragging their lips together again.

Jungkook kisses her until she's splayed flat against the bed, eyes wide and lost and lips parted, blush staining her cheeks and then Jungkook's reaching out to the table and pulling his camera , snapping a picture.

"You're such a weirdo!" Areum laughs , too turned on to be annoyed.

"No, just a man. A man in love." Jungkook leans down, pushing his hips down into hers and she gasps at the friction. They make quick work of their jeans and suddenly its skin on skin and she's not sure if she's doing this right.

"Jungkook.. I..I.."

"Hey, relax. I got you." Jungkook holds her close, just holding her, cradling her almost and the familiar words smooth away her apprehensions and he's moving closer, trying to pull more sounds out of her, his lips tracing the line of her chest, tongue swirling around one nipple before moving down and down, dipping lightly into her belly button.

And then the camera is tossed to the side, Jungkook flipping them over with ease , his lips moving down , tongue dipping into the curve of her waist down and then further down , lightly licking at the sensitive bundle of nerves near her center and Areum's pretty certain she loses her mind at that point.

"You're amazing." He whispers, and she nearly flies off the bed when Jungkook slides a single digit in, slowly , so slowly. She’s wet and ready but her body is still stuck in auto pilot and she wants to close her legs instinctively.

"Relax for me." Jungkook whispers, lips close to her ear, licking and teasing .

"I'll make it good. Just relax for me." Jungkook says again, gently, lapping at her neck and Areum unclenches her thighs letting him work his way in, sighing when the slide becomes a little more easy and a little more familiar.

"So beautiful." Jungkook whispers and Areum laughs, shaking her head.

"It's dark, you can't even see-"

"I can’t see but I can feel you. i can feel you and you’re so fucking gorgeous." He slips another finger in and curls his fingers against the walls of her insides and the gentle press of the pad of his finger is too much and not enough , all at once. Her head falls back into the pillow, all coherency leaving her body in a single whoosh of breath.

"Look at me. Only me." She whispers when Jungkook thrusts into her for the first time and Jungkook nods shakily and he pushes in, leaving her trembling at the ache and the pain and wanting to cry out, but she swallows it all down because she knows it’s going to get better .

"Don't wander off. " Areum whispers, pulling him down for a kiss and Jungkook pushes in deeper, earning a gasp. He wishes he could explain, that he can't ever think of anything but her because she is the perfect dream.

“I love this. I love you. “ she whispered and he had to physically restrain himself from burying himself to the hilt inside her. Her body was still getting used to him. He didn’t want to hurt her but God, she felt so amazing around him. the heat and wetness driving him crazy in a way that couldn’t be explained.

“Hold me tight.”

And she did.

With her arms and her legs and her body and her.....everything.

When she clenched around him, his mind went blissfully blank, her orgasm hitting him like an earth shattering, bone melting , heart stopping explosion of bliss.

He fell against her, careful not to crush her with his weight and rolled to the side gathering her close.

Someday he would hurt her, he was sure of it. He was an idiot after all and he knew he would find a way to muck this up and ruin it for them but for now, he wasn’t going to think about any of that.

For now, he was going to enjoy the intimacy of making love to the woman he loved.

Author’s Note : Hope you guys liked it! it was supposed to be very angsty but its really not lol....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#bts smut #bts fics #bts fanfics #jungkook smut #jungkook fics

156 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

Oh I just had a horrifying thought. Based on how the interaction between RWBY co and Oz went, If they ever have him and Qrow reconcile, its going to be the exact same isn't it? Him being the only one apologizing even though Qrow punched both him and Oscar.

Most likely, yeah. We have no reason to believe that Qrow would be written as more mature and open-minded than the other 8+ people involved, not after the show had him straight up lie about how Clover died. If Qrow isn’t allowed to accept some of the responsibility for a comparatively minor character, why would we think he’d accept some responsibility for the character the story hated on for three volumes, four if we count Yang’s accusations in Volume 5, and who has already been made to shoulder all of the guilt for this conflict himself?

Looking back, getting an apology for the punch was always a lost cause. The group clearly didn’t care that it happened, were slow to react when Jaune had Oscar up against the wall, Ruby took a headshot at a potentially aura-less Cordovin, Weiss arrives at the mansion armed against her brother… the group is now quite happy to excuse any and all violence against allies (trusted friends, family, political allies, etc.) provided they think they deserve it. And, sadly, we’ve seen lately that the show isn’t at all concerned with the moral nuances of these situations either. Actually, it’s not even nuance at this point, it’s straight up ignoring glaring, undeniable factors like “Qrow teamed up with Tyrian” or “Whitely is a minor your mom begged you to protect” or “Emerald was literally trying to kill Penny an hour ago.” Regarding Qrow’s situation with Ozpin, we’ve got the same problem as with Ruby: they’re both damning him for keeping secrets while they happily keep their own. Qrow kept everything else a secret from the group too, from magic existing to the war he was fighting. He kept the personal secrets of his semblance and ability to transform. He was there in the room when Ruby told those same lies to Ironwood, later absolving her (and thus himself)of guilt and continuing to help her maintain that deception, which included telling all of Mantle about Salem without mentioning her immortality. Qrow helped do to a city what Ozpin did to him, yet I have absolutely no doubt that this will be ignored. Or, if it's brought up, everyone will handwave the hypocrisy away by saying that Qrow is one of the established good guys, so it's fine if he does the supposedly morally reprehensible acts.

The problem with the Ozpin apology scene is that it builds off the feelings immediately post-vision (which are already uniform and incredibly narrow), rejecting everything else that has happened across nearly three volumes of content. It ignores the assumption that the group just needed time to cool down, that Ozpin saved their lives in the airship, that when push came to shove they repeated his choices (the biggest factor here), that they’re supposedly learning how hard it is to trust others, that they’ve now seen firsthand how powerful—terrifying—Salem really is, that they’ve told the world about her without any plan for mitigating the repercussions (what Ozpin was trying to avoid), and that Ozpin was just kidnapped same as Oscar was, helping him to both escape and turn two villains to their side (however stupid that was). But no one cares about any of it! Literally nothing Ozpin has or has not done in three volumes matters. The group isn’t grateful for what he’s done to keep them safe. The group also isn’t frustrated with how long he chose to stay away. Whether positive or negative, they have no new thoughts or feelings on the matter, nor do they think differently from one another in any regard. Notably, the apology from Ozpin comes after Ren has learned not to question the group's decisions, otherwise he likely would have taken Ozpin's side: we weren't ready for this, we made awful decisions with lasting repercussions, so are you honestly surprised he didn't want to tell us everything when this is the result?

Absolutely nothing has changed with Ren back to the status quo and everyone else has never left, so there’s no reason to think that Qrow would be any different. Especially when, beyond the Clover situation, we have the problem of Qrow ignoring that Ozpin exists, in the same way that the group mostly ignored Qrow’s existence throughout Volume 8. Does Qrow want Ozpin to come back? Does him deciding not to drink mean he’s come to terms with Ozpin’s secret? Did he see Clover as a replacement? Does he long for his mentor again like Ironwood did? Does he think Ozpin might have been able to help talk Ironwood down? Does he care whether Ozpin and Oscar made it out of Mantle? We have no answers because the most emotional work Qrow gets it silently shouting the names of his nieces at the volume’s end. That's it. Everything else is relegated to a revenge quest that disappears because Robyn (again) states that Qrow is better than the evil Clover. Does that remind us of any recent speeches Qrow gave to Ruby? Even if the show were interested in exploring the complexities of this situation and how views should have changed after months’ time to think on things and numerous, life threatening events having gone down… we have no foundation for that work. Qrow can’t easily go up and apology to Ozpin for his part in all this when, for three volumes, the most he’s mentioned Ozpin is to say that he’s a worse person than Ruby. That is by no means a hopeful or logical setup.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years

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more thoughts about the homecoming au, the au where maedhros and maglor get brought back to tirion after the war of wrath to be prettied-up trinkets on finarfin’s shelf, with painted-over scars and muffled screams. it is dark, it’s full of all kinds of emotional and caretaker abuse, and the brothers weren’t exactly in a good state of mind before any of this happened. @sunflowersupremes wrote the initial au that wasn’t even meant as horror, @outofangband - this au is as much theirs as mine, several of the concepts here were originally theirs, and a lot of this originally came out in dms with them. part 1 is here. this part contains gaslighting, loss of autonomy right at the end, more suicide mentions (thanks mae) and just general abuse from people who care more about their own comfort than the people they’re supposed to be caring for. it’s worse than the first part, honestly

most of the stuff the fëanorians had on them when they surrendered got taken away pretty fast. which is honestly understandable; some of it was cursed, a lot of it was weaponry, all of it stank to the high vault of the stars

but they both managed to hold onto some personal effects, or get them back before they went in the incinerator. a broken locket, a torn-up book, nothing fancy, nothing large, but things that still mean a lot to them

the valinoreans aren’t entirely comfortable with this. they find a lot of the brothers’ comfort items mildly disturbing, stained with darkness and (occasionally literal) blood as they are. maedhros had this dessicated finger he refuses to explain anything about that got disposed of very quickly

maglor has a few strands of brightly coloured thread, spun around each other somewhat inexpertly. he tends to pull it out when he’s feeling depressed, working it between his fingers until he feels like he can face the world again

one day, one of his minders who gets along better with him asks where he got it. from the twins, maglor admits. it’s part of some embroidery elrond abandoned when they left -

and it’s snatched out of his hands. his minder looks down at him compassionately. ‘i know you miss them, but you caused those boys a lot of pain, you know? you shouldn’t romanticise your relationship with them’

which - maglor’s relationship with the twins was complicated, and while it wasn’t nearly as hellish as elwing fears, it wasn’t entirely healthy. maglor was dependent emotionally on the kids a lot more than any adult should be to children, and vice versa

because the twins were the last people he had left. when maedhros executed celegorm’s servants with no warning at all, this rift began to grow between the sons of fëanor and their followers. they’d always been terrifying, but they’d also been comradely and inspiring, the white-hot stars around which their people orbited. but when they turned their fangs on their own host, all that started to fall away, leaving only the fear behind

it got worse after sirion. by the time vingilot rose in the sky, maglor’s only real remaining relationships were with maedhros, who he hated as much as he loved, and the twins. watching over them, talking to them, not hurting them - it kept him grounded in reality, kept him sane

he knows, he knows, he knows, they’re better off without him. but his time with them is the only happiness in his memories that still feels real

but the valinoreans can’t accept that. the exile was an awful time with nothing in it worth keeping, and the sooner he can recognise that the faster he’ll be back to his old self

besides. their caretakers don’t like being reminded of their more... unpleasant deeds

(elwing sidebar: elwing and eärendil are having an easier time, because the teleri have experience dealing with trauma and are also just more accepting of the right to have your own take on your own experiences. still, though, elwing occasionally hears that a proper telerin mother would have stayed with her children, even if she had to give up the treasure her people died for to the monsters of her childhood nightmares)

(elwing was a young adult in a horrendous situation with no obvious way out, elwing is dealing with her own damage as best she can, elwing is valid, we stan elwing. she’s also one of the few direct-ish sources the noldor have for beleriand and what the fëanorians did there, and her (perfectly reasonable!) perspective colours a lot of their treatment)

in general the valinorean noldor are quite sure they know what beleriand was like and how it felt to be there, and aren’t particularly interested in being proven wrong

it was miserable, it was harrowing, it was nothing anyone should want to think about. it was a long nightmare maedhros and maglor are so fortunate to have finally woken up from

and you can kind of see why they think like that? the ones who have seen the hither shores saw them when ash rained from a void-black sky and almost everything was dead, and the survivors told stories of a long hopeless defeat and cruelties beyond imagining

but that deep black image blots out the genuine joy they felt in those five hundred years, the chance to prove their own greatness, the knowledge they were doing something good, nights when music echoed across the gap, warm hands in a cold fortress. there were things in beleriand worth remembering, aspects of the people they became there legitimately worth keeping

and even if there wasn’t - five hundred years. the scars on their bodies make it plain to see, every little piece of who they are was shaped by beleriand, for worse and for better. they just can’t leave it behind

their valinorean caretakers find this horrifying

maedhros likes to exercise. it keeps him calm, gives him something to do. it’s not something nelyafinwë was super into - he was more the peripatetic type - but it’s a feasible hobby for a noldorin prince to have, so he’s allowed to do it

sometimes, though, he’ll unconsciously shift into the old combat forms, precisely timed drills ingrained into his bodies. the first few times he does this, his minders are bemused more than anything, but then one day he happens to have a stick in hand to use as a mock-sword

then every time he starts to slip away into that meditative trance, hands reach out to stop him and hold him in place. ‘there’s no need to fight here, maitimo,’ an elf he knew before the unchaining tells him ever so gently. ‘you’re safe now’

... they say that, but maedhros’ nightmares keep getting worse

it’s like that with everything that makes the valinoreans uncomfortable. whenever they try to speak of their time in beleriand, no matter what they say, they’re told that oh, they know it was hard, but it’s all over now and they don’t have to dwell on it

but even after they’ve spent years in paradise, maedhros and maglor still won’t let go and allow themselves to heal

they just can’t come to terms with the truth of their ordeal

the narrative the valinoreans have constructed erases all of the bright spots, but it also bleaches out the true darkness

certainly they did horrible things, but did they really have a choice? in such a harsh world, they always had to be on guard, lest they themselves be killed. these poor boys never meant to harm anyone, but their father’s cruel madness and the painful chains of their oath and the vileness of beleriand forced them into atrocities they never wanted to commit

(surely the monsters the sindar spoke of wouldn’t cry. they wouldn’t lose themselves in waking nightmares or curl up shivering in well-hidden closets, they wouldn’t jump away from a casual touch or watch every new person like they might be a threat. they wouldn’t convince themselves the children they stole were happy, or talk to the shade of a dead kinsman they abandoned. surely they wouldn’t. surely)

(because if they are, and they’ve let a couple of orcs loose into the royal palace...)

(maglor and maedhros’ movements are pretty restricted. this is mostly for their own protection, but it’s partially - well, just in case. just in case)

this rankles at maedhros, though he tries not to show it. terrible they might have been, but his choices were his own

he was a warlord, he was a king. he expected to be hated for the things he had done. he didn’t expect to be pitied. he didn’t expect to be dismissed

sometimes, when he’s surrounded by people earnestly telling him that he’s not a bad person, he never was, it was all pressure from his father and the oath, he wants to scream that he chose to attack sirion because he was so, so tired of diplomatically dancing around problems he knew he could solve with his blade

but he stops himself, always. he knows how much what little freedom they do have is based on them not being a threat

and he will not wash this peaceful, innocent land in blood. he’ll kill himself first

maglor has lost all such scruples

it’s not often, but when they’re behaving themselves and no one who’s likely to take offense is in town, the brothers get taken out to court events

they paint makeup over their scars (which still won’t heal, everyone is concerned by the implications of this) dress them up in finery, string them with jewels, and show off how well they’re doing

(even if maedhros rarely says anything, and they never leave each other’s side)

tonight, it’s a feast. a minor celebration, nothing too crowded, nothing too loud. there’s revels and merrymaking and all kinds of fun

and after the food has been cleared away, there’s music

would his nephew like to play something, finarfin asks. it’s hard to tell if it’s a request or a politely phrased order

maglor decides he doesn’t have the patience to be taken aside and tell how much everyone wanted to hear his music, and accepts

finarfin smiles kindly. he’s thinking about how maglor’s minders have been talking about how he’s finally stopped trying to sing depressing or horrifying songs and how his voice grows more melodious by the day

maglor is thinking about how they won’t even let him sing about his wife. he wrote no odes to her beauty or her skill in the forge, but he sang ballads about the swiftness of her spear and her laughter after a battle

none of which the valinoreans want to hear. they want to pretend that love never existed, that there could be any joy found in darkness, that she’s at all worth remembering -

he gets up to play, and launches into the most vicious, most hopeless, most painful part of the noldolantë

they try to stop him, but he’s the greatest warsinger the world has ever seen, he’s sung with blood in his lungs over the roaring of dragons, there’s little they can do to block out everything they’re trying to ignore. he wails defeat and death and grief and death and despair and death

when they finally manage to knock him out, their whole petty festival in tatters, shock on their faces, tears streaming from their eyes, all he can think is that if they understand now, even a little, it’ll have been worth it

for the first time, but not the last, he wakes up in a cell

finarfin comes to visit, and starts giving a very disappointed lecture maglor is in no mood to hear. instead he just snarls that nothing they’ve been doing is helping him at all, and he’s so sick of false sympathy and no one listening to what his actual problems are

finarfin shuts his eyes, says ‘i’m sorry to hear you feel that way’ and leaves

a few days later he wakes up with a collar around his neck

it’s demeaning, but he gets released that morning, so he rolls with it. he gets told to never do that ever again, first by his minders and then by maedhros

his minders he nods at until they leave him alone. maedhros he snarks back at that it’s not like he’s doing anything to improve their condition

only he can’t

the words don’t just freeze in his throat, they can’t even form in his mind. what’s happening, he can’t say. what did you do to me, he can’t say. he can’t even scream

as maglor is clutching at his neck (he can’t get it off he can’t get it off) and all the colour is draining out of maedhros’ face, the minder in the room smiles

‘see? this way you’ll stop making yourself and everyone around you miserable. you can still talk about happy things -’

‘they did this in angband!’ maedhros roars, a statement that provokes his first actual fight with their minders. he’s harder to pin down than maglor. bigger

but their caretakers are becoming annoyed with the brothers’ obstinate refusal to let themselves get better. they may be content to wallow in the misery of their past, but inflicting it on others is a step too far

they clearly aren’t going to move any further down the road to recovery on their own volition, so it’s become clear they need a gentle push. is it a little distasteful? yes, but such things are sometimes necessary in medicine

the bright cheerful princes they will be again will thank them for it

oh god how did this end up so long. the last one should be shorter, it’s mostly clearing up some loose ends. why did i write this

#maedhros #maglor #homecoming au #my terrible fic #finarfin #noldor #late stage feanorians #abuse //#mental health issues ///#suicide mention //#gaslighting //#eeeeeeeeesh #i am not sure what i was trying to get across actually comes across in this #i ran out of unova pokedex before i ran out of fic #(the long one from b2w2. no i'm not explaining that)#it is three am!#and i'm not trying to start anything with that section about how the noldor minimise the feanorians' deeds #other people have their headcanons and that's cool. i have mine #i don't see them as 'entirely evil' (whatever that means) but i have felt like my own imperfections mean i don't deserve help before #... can you tell this is a vent fic yet #mags gets more focus because mags is the character i project onto #i've thought about him more; i have a more solid grasp of what i think his character is #'s why i got nelyo in on this. they're the creme de la creme at bad shit happening to maedhros and i wanted someone to cover his corner #this au is awful why am i writing it

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captaincoffeegirl515 · 3 years

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What the hell was that last act???

So first of all I want to say that I did enjoy most of the movie. It was okay. The sex scenes didn’t do anything for me though since I’m just not interested in sex at all. But while I more-or-less liked the movie, I felt that the big plot twists in the last act and the ending were badly done because… how the fuck did ANY of them manage to get away with ANY OF THAT??? Like from a legal standpoint it’s just ???

This got so much longer than I anticipated, so the rest is under the read more. And yes, there are so many spoilers. So if you haven't seen The Voyeurs yet and don't want spoilers, please avoid this.

Seb and Julia literally confess to selling their old apartment in order to spy on the people who live there and use them for their art show. Like, yes, they put that clause in the Terms of Agreement for the apartment (which literally no one ever reads) but there is still the matter of Informed Consent. Informed Consent is usually in the form of a contract Pippa and Thomas both need to read and sign, or via verbal questions and answers which is filmed so Seb and Julia would have physical proof of an agreement. This is basically telling them what footage was taken, how it will be used, and if Seb and Julia have permission to share the footage publicly. In Thomas’ case, since he’s dead, his next-of-kin will be asked. Only then are Seb and Julia legally allowed to publicly share and showcase the Pippa and Thomas’ pictures. And Seb is a professional photographer! He should know that!

Have you ever seen prank shows? Like even the ones on YouTube. Have you noticed at the end of some videos, there would be a part where the filmers would approach the person who was pranked and ask if they could use their footage in the video. That’s Informed Consent. They need to ask permission to use a person’s footage in a video or if they need to blur out the person’s face for privacy. Seb and Julia even showed a picture of a dead man for chrissakes! Remember the outcry when that YouTuber posted a video of a suicide victim in Japan???

The Japanese interviewer was right to disapprove of their methods because even though there was a clause in the Terms of Agreement, the prank (because isn’t that what that whole show they did was?) or experiment still resulted with someone killing themself (yes I know it was murder, but the world doesn't know it). They can possibly still be held liable for causing Thomas to kill himself the same way a prankster can be held liable if their victim dies from a prank because of this thing in Law called the Eggshell Rule or Eggshell Plaintiff.

What this means is that a defendant is liable for any injuries caused by the defendant’s actions, regardless of how unforeseeable or uncommon the plaintiff’s reactions to the defendant’s actions are. So for example, there is a scary prank where the prankster jumps out of the bushes and terrifies people. One of them turns out to have a heart condition, suffers a heart attack, and dies. Regardless of the victim’s frailty, the prankster can be held liable for exacerbating the condition and causing the victim’s death. Likewise in the movie, they can say that Seb and Julia, by orchestrating the whole thing and making Thomas see his girlfriend cheating on him, could have caused him to become broken-hearted and kill himself. Therefore, Seb and Julia can be liable for Thomas’ death.

And then here’s the kicker! The famous photographer and his wife, a famous model, both suddenly end up blind AFTER their big art show where they displayed Pippa’s scandal. And not by accident. No. This was obviously surgically done. And NOBODY suspected foul play?? Nobody thought about revenge?? Nobody thought it strange how their blindness was clearly done with a surgical/medical precision nor suspected the couple’s subject, Pippa, who they thoroughly humiliated, who also worked as an optometrist technician at a lab that has the machines that could cause that kind of blindness??? And they're both still alive! They can easily tell the police who did it!

It should have been way too easy for the police to know that it was foul play. Blood tests can tell that Seb and Julia had been drugged. How they were blinded can be traced to the optometry lab. Pippa would be the easiest main suspect due to her connection to them with revenge as the main motivation after they humiliated her in that art show.

And yes, I agree that what Seb and Julia did was wrong. They used Pippa and Thomas, and then murdered Thomas so they can have some juicy story to tell!

Even so, what happened to Ethical Codes in the medical field? What happened to the Hippocratic Oath? Non-maleficience rule? “Do No Harm”? Pippa should have been slammed with, idk, medical malpractice or something, after using her knowledge of the LASIK machine and using it to permanently blind people (which is an actual fear real people have about LASIK surgery), have her license revoked, be fired from her job, and possibly serve jail time. Why is she walking free all willy-nilly and still being allowed to continue stalking Seb and Julia?

I’ll admit though that maybe I’m being more harsh towards Pippa because I myself used to be a Board Certified medical professional (my license expired last year because I hadn't been working in that field for a while) and because of that, her actions angered and horrified me more.

Normally, we as an audience are made to root for the main character or hero, but I found it difficult to do so because Pippa herself is a terrible person. She's a pervert and a creep. She was obsessed with the lives of other people, stalked them, and even went as far as committing crimes in order to fuel her obsession - trespassing, breaking and entering, destruction of private property.

And my goodness this actually makes me think of a few Ben Hardy stans who are like this. Well, idk if going to Ben's school so that she can get a copy of a school film he was in can be considered a crime, but it's still fucking creepy.

Pippa’s got that Savior Complex where she tries to rescue this poor neglected wife from her horrible cheating husband (the same one she herself wants to fuck because she’s obsessed with him). And then when it all goes south, she immediately turns around and blames THOMAS of all people because “he started it”. Like, so what if he did?? He still had enough maturity to realize when they were taking it too far, and decided to stop with the stalking. He told her to stop multiple times but she was too blinded by her obsession and lust for a man that she doesn’t even know.

AND THEN!! She stalked a grieving husband (I know we know that was a lie but Pippa didn't know that) and proceeded to cheat on her boyfriend with said grieving husband. And frankly, I don’t understand why she’s so vengeful about Thomas’ death considering how easily she forgot him so that she could cheat on him. Like. Who knows, maybe he still would’ve killed himself regardless of the poisoned drink because the last thing he saw was his girlfriend cheating on him with the man she’d been obsessed with for the past idk how long. Even in the scene after Thomas died, there was a momentary grief where Pippa was all “it’s my fault Thomas died” but it was all too brief and immediately after she went back to obsessing and asking about Seb. And they want me to believe that she’d want to avenge Thomas’ death? No. I think she blinded Seb and Julia because she was angry at being called out for her obsession. For being told that she was wrong to go that far. It wasn’t about her “love” for Thomas. It was about how humiliated she was about being wrong.

Can you believe that Pippa gave this whole speech with the fable about being content with what you have and not to try to be greedy by wanting more and then she just immediately DOES THE OPPOSITE OF THE MORAL by cheating on her boyfriend because she wanted more aka Seb???

The more that I think about it, I feel like the true villain of the movie is Pippa herself. Her obsession with Seb is what started the whole thing. If she had been able to keep a healthy distance, none of that would’ve happened to begin with. There would be no fights over how far things were going. Seb would have no scandal to tell. She worsened Thomas’ insecurities of not being enough for her, making him go to great lengths just to try to please her. Poor Thomas. He truly deserved better.

Pippa also has awful friends. Instead of stamping down the creepy behavior, they’re giving tips on how to listen in on other people’s private conversations! And then later try to excuse her cheating on Thomas. And then help with her obsession AGAIN.

Acting-wise, I felt that Natasha, Ben, and Justice were incredible and I loved them. I love how conflicted Ben played Seb and how you can see it in his eyes. My favorite scene was the one where Seb and Julia had that confrontation over the wine where Seb asks if she ever felt guilty and Julia just stares right back and stares him down. Natasha was brilliant as Julie pretending to be all friendly and vulnerable with Pippa. Justice was very emotional and I love the scenes where he was horrified at how far Pippa was taking everything. For me, Sydney was the weakest one at acting. While there were some okay parts, her face can be really stiff at some points, like during the sex scenes.

Overall, I thought the movie to be quite thought-provoking especially in this day and age where people can find the most intimate details of another person’s life so easily, be that through Carrd, Instagram stories, Facebook feeds, and other social media sites. It makes you think about parasocial relationships, how people can be so obsessed about people that they’ve never even met, and how that obsession can easily grow into something dangerous that can ruin lives. Good movie, terrible last act. Too much sex for my taste, but then it wouldn’t be called an erotic movie.

Outside of the movie, I really love the chemistry between the four of them. I love watching their interviews and seeing how they interact with each other.

Last but not the least, I know this may be random but my brain likes to zoom in on the weirdest things. How on earth did Pippa manage to get Seb on top of that operating table?? No offense but Pippa is fucking tiny. Seb’s like twice her size and mostly muscle AND unconscious. Like ??? Sorry but that threw me off so much it’s ridiculous.

#ben hardy #natasha liu bordizzo #justice smith #sydney sweeney

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offda-rails-art · 3 years

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Here is part two of “Lochlans spook” 👇

Again⚠️gore warning⚠️ this is a horror story

Not long after Lochlan made his way past the herd of deer another odd occurrence happened. The first thing he saw up ahead was a lone coyote racing out of the direction Lochlan was headed. The coyote seemed to be on a mission to get somewhere. The animal’s eyes bulged from its head, his mouth gaped open trying to take in as much air as possible, and every muscle in its body showed as it sprinted in the opposite direction it came. Lochlan was about to conclude that the animal was simply on a mission for a hunt. But then, more animals sprinted forward going the same way the coyote was headed. Foxes, rabbits, more coyotes and deer, even birds flew right past Lochlan. The big engine was the last thing the animals seemed to care about, they all ran in an almost harmonious fashion. They weren’t chasing each other but they were running away from something. Lochlan felt a pang of anxiety deep in the depths of his boiler. He had never witnessed something so strange, what on earth are they running from? He thought and as he traveled closer in the direction the animals sprinted from he felt something he never felt before, fear.

In his lifetime Lochlan had truly and honestly never felt fear. He was so big and powerful that what could he fear? And as awful as it sounds Lochlan didn’t have normal “engine fears” either. He didn’t worry about collisions like many feared. Many engines that collided often had died from either injury or impact, but Lochlan was so large that any engine that collided with him would be doomed and he himself would most likely be untouched. If anything others feared him because of his size and mass.

Lochlan was so shellshocked with the new feeling that he didn’t know how to react. Something was scaring him. He blanked out for a moment and then came to a screeching halt, his cargo slammed into him, his engineers were nearly thrown from their seats, and any product that was in the rows of cargo trucks was surely tossed around and destroyed. Lochlan stared blankly ahead, his headlamp hardly illuminating anything in the pitch black. Now that he stood still he listened to all that was around him. His anxiety got worse when the only sound around him was nothing. No crickets, no birds, nothing. Pure quiet. Something was out there, hunting.

Lochlans engineers took a moment to collect themselves from the sudden unexpected halt. “What the hell was that all about?” His fireman asked and rubbed his head in thought.

“I don’t know, but I’ll go see what the issue is. Perhaps Lochlan will let us know.” His driver said and hopped down from the cab and started a long walk to face his engine. Lochlan meanwhile stared ahead of himself he listened in as best he could becuase he could swear something was calling his name. His driver interrupted him. “What’s the issue big boy? Are you hurt? Is something wrong?” He asked.

“I don’t know sir. I just can’t go any further.” Lochlan replied never taking his eyes off the track ahead. He felt the air get cooler with each second. His driver seemed to notice that too, he crossed his arms over his chest and shivered.

“Can’t see squat out here in this dark. Alright Lochlan I’ll try and find the out-

“I think you should go back in my cab now. It’s getting to cold out here and there’s no sense in trying to solve a problem in the pitch black.” Lochlan interrupted. More dread bubbled up inside of him. His driver looked at him curiously, he held his arms tighter to his chest bracing in the cold.

“I suppose your right, goddamn why is it so cold? It’s the middle of summer.” His driver groaned then turned on his heels to rush back to the warm cab. Lochlan’s fireman poked his head out of the cab window.

“Is everything alright? What’s going on?” He shouted down to his colleague. He felt the bitter cold nip at his face and noticed his breath show up in the air.

“I don’t know, but it’s to cold out here and I cannot see an inch of light anywhere.” He hurriedly climbed into the warm cab.

“I noticed that too. Should we radio for assistance?” The fireman asked.

“Go ahead and try but I guarantee you won’t get any signal out here.” He sighed and plopped himself down in his seat. The two did try to radio but had no luck. After hours of trying to think of what to do they both decided to stay in the cab and wait till early morning when at least an ounce of light would come out.

Lochlan sat on the tracks never taking his eyes away from the pitch black ahead. He listened carefully and heard an unsettling sound. A low grumble mixed with what sounded like an elk bugling echoed around him. Elk calls could be eerie sounding but this was no elk call, what made him come to that conclusion was his name being called after each grumble.

“Lochlan?” The voice asked trying to get a response. Lochlan didn’t dare answer. He narrowed his eyes trying to see what called his name. “Lochlan?!” It asked again this time sounding agitated, a louder grumble followed. Lochlan nearly jumped out of his pistons when silence followed and then a loud “LOCHLAN!!!! LOCHLAN!!! LOCHLAN!!!!!” The voice roared. He still didn’t answer. Just beyond where his headlamp could reach a figure came into view. A buck stood on the tracks ahead, its dark piercing eyes stared back at him in a way no animal would. Lochlan gritted his teeth, he watched the deer and his eyes went wide when the animal opened its mouth.

“LOCHLAN.” The deer mouthed in perfect English. The four legged animal began to twist and morphe into a horrifying creature. It’s bones broke then dislocated growing massive upright legs, front legs turned into massive human arms along with a long skinny malnutritished human torso with ribs poking out. Flesh clung to its horribly mangled body and with each body part that morphed into place it grew and grew and grew until it towered over Lochlan. The flesh disappeared from the deer’s head revealing its skull with bulging red human eyes. A long tongue rolled from its mouth dripping drool and all. A skinny boney finger cracked, twisted, then pointed to Lochlan in a sickening beckoning motion. The creature stepped forward, it’s massive body lurched with each step. The low grumble noise came again, this time it shook Lochlan to the core. The creature’s jaw opened wide in a smile. “Lochlan?” It asked again seeming to want a response. Lochlan refused half out of sheer panic and the other part not being able to form words at all. He’d never ever been this terrified. The creature wasn’t satisfied with the silence it received, its jaw formed into a frown.

Lochlan watched each step it took, and now with the horrific creature just one foot away he did the only thing his body let him do. Close his eyes. The creature bent down lowering its face to Lochlan’s. “Lochlan?” It asked in almost a whine to get a rise out of him. No response and the creature grew significantly irritated. Lochlan felt it’s hot breath assault his skin, it’s breath stunk of rot. The whole beast itself was a massive rotting corpse, maggots wriggled around what flesh stretched over its body. The creature breathed in his face, it reached a hand out and touched Lochlans cheek. A sharp claw traced over the flesh on his face, Lochlan could swear he felt whatever maggots that were imbedded in the beast’s hand crawled out for a moment and graze his own skin. He still didn’t dare open his eyes. The creature sat there for what felt like hours, each breath it took a low grumble followed. Lochlan was terrified, his eyes refusing to open. Even when he felt a sticky wet tongue roll over his face. The creature got irritated and with a loud annoyed huff it got to its feet, gave one last loud bellowing screech and just like that it disappeared. Lochlan kept his eyes clamped shut the rest of the night, he didn’t open them until he could see a very small amount of light shine through his eyelids. Birds chirped and crowed and things seemed to be a bit normal. He kept his eyes opened and looked around.

Lochlan had started up with no issues at all, the incident that happened during the night when unnoticed by his engineers who had seemed to have slept through the whole thing. The two men looked their engine over best they could and asked how he felt before starting off back down the route. Lochlan rolled down the track cautiously still shaken up from what happened earlier. He frowned when he noticed on the sides of the track further down the line dozens of cattle spread out in the field. They weren’t laying down, they were quite literally scattered about. The scene was brutal, every bovine was covered in massive claw marks, many looked disemboweled, some missing limbs, some missing heads. Lochlan felt his breath hitch as he rolled by slowly. Two very confused cowboys surveyed the field of cattle. Lochlan’s engineers looked out the window of his cab and scratched their heads at the brutal scene. They chatted about what could have possibly done that but Lochlan knew exactly what did that.

“Well?! What did you think? Pretty weird right? I’d rate that on the list of odd things I’ve seen as a.... 3? Maybe 4? Out of 10 of course.” Lochlan said as he concluded his story. The group beside him looked horrified. Donner looked as though he was about to pass out or throw up, maybe both.

“Jesus Christ Lochlan?! You drop a bomb just like that on us?!” Red asked, his mouth agape still from shock at what was said.

“You wanted a horror story, yes?” Lochlan asked innocently.

“I’d just like to know what makes you rate that a 4 out of weird things you’ve seen?” Cracker Jack asked.

Lochlan only smirked.

End.

Thanks for reading💖💖 I hope you enjoyed.

#ttte #ttte oc #the rural railway #trr lochlan #trr lochlan’s spook #trr donner #trr old red #trr cracker jack #trr #hmmm #what to do next story #lochlans spook part 2

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volleyball-dontknowher · 4 years

Text

Another volleyball boy flirting with Karasuno boy’s girlfriend

Thank you @tomboyneedshercoffee for this request! It was so fun!!

Daichi: He is the captain of Karasuno, The Karasuno and you were his girl. Watching a first year from some other team come up and talk to his girl made something in his blood boil, but he knows that the little first year is nothing compared to him, and the poor kid had no idea who’s girlfriend he was trying to flirt with. Daichi trusts you with his whole heart and after the boy didn’t get the hint that you kept looking over at him and smiling Daichi walked over, took your hand, thanked the poor guy for the wonderful conversation and walked you away from the painful awkwardness. The most impressive part of the whole thing is that Daichi didn’t have to say a single word to the boy because the message was already loud and clear who you belonged to. He wasn’t sure which team the kid belonged to but after his teammates found out that their team member had been flirting with you the poor kid had to go find you and Daichi to apologize for being rude. You two laughed it off and you just hugged your big guy.

Sugawara: You were waiting in line to get a couple ice cold water bottles for the boys because you knew they would be coming out of the match any second now and the water fountain water couldn’t possibly be enough for 12 sweaty boys. You got the water bottles and saw the teams walking out, first thing one of the setters front he other team does is whistle at you and shout

“What’s a babe like you doing somewhere like this?” You’re shocked, all of Karasuno is shocked, the guys team members are shocked.

Suga doesn’t skip a beat and comes over, wraps his hands around your waist and tells the guy (who he just beat miserably), “She’s here for me, thank you and good bye.” He turns you around and walks you back to the team ready to celebrate with everyone. Everyone sighed in relief watching how calm Suga was with the situation because they all loved you like a sister and were ready to fight the idiot who had the audacity to whistle at you.

Asahi: It is no secret that Asahi is intimidating as hell, like you would run the other way if you saw him alone in an alleyway, but on the inside he’s the biggest sweetheart you’ve ever met. You were waiting in the commons for Asahi so the two of you could eat lunch together during the tournament when a tall guy and his friend approached you. The tall one leaned in close to you and placed his hand on the wall behind you, effectively trapping you in between the two boys.

“What would it take for me to take you on a dat-”

“Excuse me,, but she won’t be going on a date with you any time soon.” Asahi is behind the guy, towering over him, just his shadow alone was enough for the guy to move his arm back to his side. “That’s my girlfriend you’re talking to.” The guys faces drop, and they take off, trying to get as far away from him as possible. They were terrified that Asahi would come and beat their asses for looking at his girl, let alone flirting with her. You pull him into a big hug and tell him to calm down, tiger. He kisses your forehead and takes your hand to find a good spot to eat lunch. He knew he had nothing to worry about, you were literally always bugging him and telling him how gorgeous he is, and how much you love him. He’s a big and confident guy and you were his little love.

Tanaka: When he sees the punk who’s ass he just beat in the last match talking with his girl. “WAS THAT A WINK DID HE JUST WINK AT MY GIRL” he loses it. It takes Noya, and Asahi to hold him back while HInata swoops in to grab your hand and tell the guy “you may want to go now. He’s kind of like a rabid animal” The guy takes the hint and quickly leaves the scene. You run over to Tanaka and pull him into a big hug. “Babe, babeee, babeee shhh I’m right here, he’s gone, it’s okay” You have to sit in his lap and run your finger over his fuzzy hair for a couple of minutes to calm him down. For the rest of the tournament he barely lets you out of his sight, he does not share well with others in the first place but he absolutely cannot share you.

Noya: It was the down time between games and all you wanted was a piece of concession stand pizza, you were debating with yourself “cheese or pepperoni” you muttered to yourself when suddenly the guy in front of you turns around and hands you two pieces of pizza.

“Hey, no I didn’t order this”

“Yeah, but I heard that you wanted pizza and a I want you so take the two pieces of pizza and I’ll take you out”

You literally could not believe what you just heard and to make matters worse your firecracker of a boyfriend is standing right behind you. He laughs, hard, and he goes up to the guy grabs both pieces of pizza “Thanks for the pizza but she doesn’t like losers” You have no idea where this confidence came from but he doesn’t let people mess with his girl. “What?? You’re dating a shortie? Why would you choose someone like that? You’re way hotter than him, what he’s the loser?”

You don’t give Noya a chance to respond, you have his hand and you are walking him away from that asshole. If he were to stay you know he would’ve done something that could ruin his chances at playing the rest of the tournament. You bring him to one of the open tables and just pull him into a kiss, he’s fuming but he can never stay mad when you’re kissing him. He literally turns so bright red “I love you and not some jerk, don’t let him bother you babe”. Unlucky for that guy Karasuno was their next opponent and Nishinoya didn’t let one of the guys balls hit the ground.

Hinata: The poor baby sees the captain of one of the well known teams coming up to you and asking you wayyy too many questions jut to be friendly. Hinata had no idea what to do and was internally panicking, should he play mr. Tough Guy, or should I tell him to back off, what would Tanaka do? Oh no. Lucky for him you shut the whole conversation down with two words “...my boyfriend…” the guy’s face dropped instantly and the conversation was over. You came back over to him and just gave him one of your little smiles and any and all worries were erased from his mind. He didn’t have any cool lines or heroic actions but he did have your heart which was all that mattered.

Kageyama: The idiot, you couldn’t pretend to have any defense for the guy who came up to you while you were literally sitting with your BOYFRIEND. THe guy comes up to you and asks if you could guide him to the practice gym. You sit there still in shock, “come on you’re a manager you should be able to help me out” he is smirking at you like a hero in an early 2000’s romance novel and all Kageyama can do is pull you into a quick kiss before asking the guy “Which gym did you want her to show you to? I can help if you want too.” IF you thought that Kags turned red when he was embarrassed this boy is somehow worse, he stutters a quick “no thanks” before leaving the scene and hiding in a corner where he declares to all of his teammates that he could never show his face ever again.

Yamaguchi: You had literally just got off the bus when you felt a set of eyes watching you, it was early so you didn’t think too much about it and continued on with your day. A couple more times during the day you felt a presence watching you but every time you thought about it one of the boys was pulling you away from that thought. At the end of the day you guys were doing a before you get on the bus pee and like usual the boys were in and out, and you, Yachi and Kiyoko were stuck waiting to go. You were out first and were waiting outside of the bathroom for the other two to finish. While you were waiting you felt the eyes again, you look around and see a boy that you guess you’d seen a couple of times that day. The boy caught your eye and immediately blushed and walked over to you and handed you a small piece of paper before running away. You took the paper and slid it in your pocket before the other two got out of the bathroom and you all headed back to the bus. When you got back to the bus you sat next to Yamaguchi on the bus.

“Hey, some guy handed me a note in the hallway and I don’t know what it says”

“Oh, open it up! Let’s see.” He was as encouraging as always and was super sweet about the whole thing.

Hi, My name is Kyo Ootori and I think that you’re really pretty and I am too shy to talk to you but if you would like to talk here’s my number xxx-xxxx if not that’s okay too! “Awe that’s so cute Y/N he finds you just as adorable as I do” You two giggle about it for a little bit before you both decide to take a nap on the bus.

Tsukishima: He is tall and quiet but he absolutely will not stand up for someone talking to his girl. Especially not the little rat boy on the losing volleyball team. The rat somehow managed to get to you before he did after he changed from a match. You were obviously uncomfortable with the whole thing and the boy would not back off, Tsuki could not and would not watch this scene anymore.

“Stop talking, you’re wasting your breath.” Both you and the boy look up at him shocked. You look relieved and the boy looks horrified, Tsuki is a tall wall with glaring glasses and an angry scowl on his face.

The boy runs, not walks, not strolls but runs away Tsuki, it took 6 words and the boy is leaving you alone You’d been trying to get out of the conversation for over ten minutes. He really was your savior, all you could do was give him a big smile, but he was already turned around walking towards the gym to watch the next match.

“Well, are you coming or what?” You look up to see him turned around looking at you with the smallest smile ever, but you know it’s there and meant for you.

#karasuno #karasuno imagines #karasuno headcannons #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #azumane asahi #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #yuu nishinoya #tanaka ryuunosuke #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #yamaguchi tadashi #writing #requests open #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu Karasuno

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ihassheepquake · 3 years

Text

DC's Stargirl 2.11 "Summer School: Chapter Eleven" has aired on the CW, and I'm here to talk about it

This is gonna be the best episode of the season. How do I know? Because Joey Zarick is back.

I really love that the Shadowlands are in Black and White. It's cute. And how terrifying for Court. One minute she's being attacked by Eclipso, the next she's waking up in a black and white version of Blue Valley.

I SEE HIM! MY BOY!! I'm crying already. Oh, the creepy smiles. Oh no. Courtney, I need you to find a way to save Joey from here. You guys have no idea how happy I am to hear Zarick the Great again. And to watch him do his card tricks! The cuts to the past! She picked the same card, no surprise there. I'm gonna have to rewatch the original scene from last season to see for sure, but it looks like they're doing mostly the same blocking for Joey from that scene, just mirrored with a few tricks. "Are you going to lie to me again" JOEY BABY NO!! Hi, DC, CW, whoever. I'd really like the buy that Joey card right now.

Okay, before I move on from talking about Joey, I wanna talk about how crazy surreal that must've been for Courtney. Joey's death was a super significant moment in Courtney's character development as well as the development of the show. His death was what made Court 1) realise the real, actual consequences of being a superhero and 2) was what motivated her to make her JSA. And he was, as far as we know, the first person she ever saw die. It was hugely traumatic for her. And now to see him again, like this too, must be horrifying. She has to think she's actually dead right now because she knows all three of these people are dead. Okay, I'm done for now. But expect more Joey posts from me in the upcoming days.

Principal Bowen & Isaac, more people she knows are dead. The reunion with Cindy and the symbolism of Courtney's blood being the only thing in colour. And now the return of Dragon King to haunt Cindy (just like Joey was here haunting Courtney, I'll never shut up about it).

I like this explanation of the Shadowlands.

Courtney's back in her childhood home, that Christmas when everything changed. What it must be like for Courtney to hear such shitty things from her mum. That's really, truly awful. Okay, this dialogue from Cindy about how Courtney sees the world in black and white. I wonder now if the Shadowlands aren't black and white for Cindy. Is that a literal visual for Courtney?

I love that Charles McNider is so far, like, one of the best of the old JSA. It feels really fitting. Like, this Dr Midnight, Johnny Thunder, and The Flash are the old JSA members who we've seen as like, actually good people. Except for Pat if we count him. He was also cool.

Jennie is probably the most powerful of the new JSA, which I love. I want more of her. I'm really hoping the set-up they did with Mr Bones last week is a hint into season 3's plotline.

I'm always a big fan of complex villains. And The Shade coming to see McNider and grieve with him is really beautiful actually. Last season we dealt with a fair amount of black and white in terms of morality but this season, the shades of grey has been the underlying theme. Obviously (hopefully), we're not going to get a Shade redemption, I think that would ultimately undermine the point being made about that. And I hope Courtney, Yolanda, Rick, and Beth take this lesson they're being taught to heart. The world's a lot less simple than it seems.

Barbara you bad bitch. "Then kill me" fuck him up! This is why Barbara is one of my faves.

No matter what, Courtney will always save Cindy. And if that isn't queer coding, I don't know what is. Make them girlfriend CW.

Shut the fuck up you stupid Eclipso child brat!!

Cindy with a heart is my favourite Cindy. She really can feel things like a real human being.

AND THE OG DR MIDNITE AND THE LESBIANS ARE BACK IN THE REAL WORLD!!

I've decided that, if given the chance, Charles & Richard would've been gay for each other.

Cindy's gonna team up with the JSA to kill Eclipso, as she should, Yolanda is gonna be back. We're in full pre-finale mode people! This is gonna get good. Join us again and see what happens next week with Stargirl 2.12 "Summer School: Chapter Twelve"

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inkdemonapologist · 4 years

Note

Silly thought, but how would your Escape AU Sammy react to just... being dropped into the Hell Studio AU for like a day (or week)? He probably won't have a fun time but given how pure and wholesome that AU usually is, maybe he would enjoy some of it? (NOT Through a Mirror Darkly! There's 2 Sammys that have suffered enough in there, we don't need to traumatize another!)

HAHA I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, IS THIS A CRACKED GLASS AU,

I think….. Well, I have some questions about the nature of the Ink in Hell’s Studio and whether the characters would recognise each other, but setting that aside for a second I think just Showing Up In Hell’s Studio would be pRETTY TRAUMATISING. Bendy is alive -- Sammy’s actual nightmare -- as are Alice and Boris, and there’s the pipes and the ink and the leaks everywhere, and even if it were just normal mundane ink, that whole atmosphere would just feel like… he’s back, he’s back in the Studio, and everyone else is acting like it’s normal. There’s ink flooding the rooms and the demon is here and everyone’s just treating it like an inconvenience! It’s fine, and everyone is friends, and nothing has ever gone really truly wrong. I think he’d feel very crazy, like he was being unintentionally gaslit. At least in JDS proper, there was a sense that something wasn’t right -- Jack and Norman and Wally and Thomas, even when they weren’t questioning it, they all knew something was off, but here? Sammy, calm down, nothing’s wrong! While I trust the Hell’s Studio folks to be thoughtful and not immediately dismiss him as being nuts, there’s no reason for them to like… believe him? Unlike in Through a Mirror Darkly, where others had seen the place Sam came from and understood that things were different there, Escape AU Sammy’s terror and anger and paranoid prophecies would seem wildly misplaced. And the more they tried to convince him that he might be mistaken or confused, the more unhinged Sammy would feel.

Actually, let’s go back to those questions I had because this gets more horrifying the more I think about it.

(1) So obviously everyone Looks Different because Mak and I have different designs for the characters. How would this practically play out? Like, if Escape!Sammy meets HS!Susie Campbell, does he have a sense that this IS Susie, or is it just this other person with her name and her voice that looks nothing like her? Sammy’s run into this concept before, because uh, Susie sure did, uh, start speaking with, Allison’s voice, after she went through the machine enough to become Alice Angel,,,, And someone named Joey Drew, who speaks with Joey’s voice, suddenly looks much more harmless, has this wacky, cartoonish obsession with summoning demons, and is genuinely close friends with someone named Henry Stein, who speaks with Henry’s voice… Look, Sammy’s been sent to another dimension before: it was a dimension created by Joey’s machine, and he was trapped there. Ironically, something like the Story Theory seems to be the explanation that would make the most sense with the information Sammy has; these are characters, this is a story -- a nicer version of the story, a cartoon version, where everything Joey wanted turned out okay. But if the Joey he knows is in control, it isn’t safe.

And (2) Is… is it the same Ink that runs through the machine? The Ink in Hell’s Studio is clearly also supernatural, but would Sammy recognise it as Ink Machine Ink? Would he hear the same call? Would his cravings kick in? Or would he only have the leftover itch of a past addiction, with no additional compulsion since the ink is less malevolent here? Regardless, if Sammy could Feel that it’s more-or-less the same stuff behaving differently, I think it would freak him out a lot, and I’m not sure how good he would be at resisting urges even if he’s not Literally Incapable Of Resisting. It’s REALLY NOT hard to imagine Sammy, trapped in a strange and smiling nightmare, with no one who makes any sense and nothing solid to hold on to, falling back into the same terrified pattern, giving himself back to the Ink because it’s literally the only thing here that he knows, the only part of all this that feels REAL.

Maybe not. Maybe he would give up, play nice, take whatever place in this dimension he’s given and be as well-behaved as he can be, angry and alone but painfully well-behaved, until the Joey of this world can offer him a promise of home; something he would, at that point, do anything for.

I do think that if everyone knows what’s going on, it might be…… less horrifying, haha. If Hell’s Studio Joey Drew opens a portal and Escape AU Sammy Lawrence falls out of it and Joey’s immediately like, “oh dear, I think I summoned you from another dimension but NO WORRIES I’m going to work on getting you home right away!” then maybe Sammy could… wait it out without losing his mind. It would be an awful place to be, and he would have all the same struggles of feeling like he’s back in the studio while also dealing with simulacrums of his friends who don’t understand where he’s coming from At All, but knowing what’s going on would mean he could try to shake it off and keep himself together for a week.

I don’t think he would enjoy it.

#i know you have questions you always do #sammy lawrence #Hell's Studio AU #Escape AU #I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS...#weirdly tempted to try to write a small thing about how this could go #anyway thank you anon for this WILD THOUGHT

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raguna-blade · 3 years

Text

So i’ve had this floating in my head for a while and well...There’s going to be some obvious straightforward “That’s absolutely not what they intended, I can’t envision it as a thing cause I mean it’s that.”

But I wanna talk about the way the gacha mechanics reflect on the story of Arknights.

So here’s the thing. It’s all about trust. Literally it’s all about trust. One of the things that Arknights makes really clear in it’s story is that there is a very very real problem with people just taking things on faith and listening to each other. The big central conflict, as of now, with the issues between the infected and the non? All of it is based on a massive breach of trust because the infected to a man know that the uninfected are going to make their lives a living hell, even if they’re a model citizen. Hell even if they’re part of the big wig nobility upper class it’s basically a crapshoot if catching the in game plague is going to torpedo you to the depths of the pecking order and ruin your life or “merely” have you waste away from a degenerative disease that causes rocks to grow out of your skin, is horrifically painful, and can cause wild and terrifying super powers that can have you control temperatures wildly, suddenly start reading peoples minds, or create a horde of zombies (although admittedly these require training to use, let alone use in combat but it does seem true that the powers kinda work without it albeit probably much worse)

So trust is a big thing here obviously, and that leads me to the next point.

The Doctor is the sketchiest motherfucker I have ever seen in my life. They’re this mysterious person wrapped up in a coat that exposes exactly none of their body, they down sanity potions like water, they’re a super tactical genius the likes the world hasn’t seen, and also save for your scary Medicine Boss Lady and Their Adopted Kid (who runs your hospital knight order) nobody knows anything about them at all.

And the few people who DO know the doctor from the past seem keen to stay the hell away from him (excluding Boss Bunny, which actually considering what the Doctor was like right before their amnesia should PROBABLY be more concerning?)

And the last point before I start tying this all together, from all indications story wise? Any and all Operators that you choose to use are already there. They’re already working with or are a part of Rhodes Island proper. They’re in the background sure and they may not know the doctor personally but they are already there is the important thing.

Barring certain event characters tied to certain events they’re already part of Rhodes Island in some way.

Which leads me to my little gacha connection.

The Gacha here indicates a willingness to trust the Doctor (and perhaps if we’re gonna dive into this further, a broader connection and willingness to support RI’s cause, and an active display of trust because you know this dude is going to be sending you into a combat zone. In a story where people sometimes just hot die because sorry bro it’s a war story at least in part)

Now i’ll admit the specifics of the gacha don’t work for this perfectly because you’re calling back the same people sometimes which has weird implications (although I think you could chalk it up to doctor getting to better know people and how to pull the very best out of them if we wanna keep the story mechanic connection strong.) There’s only so much you can do with what is mechanically just rolling the dice a bunch...

Except...The Pity Mechanics have neat little implications too! There’s the Guaranteed 5/6 Star mechanic, as well as the guaranteed 6 star after I think it was 100 Rolls, as well as the Guaranteed Limited Character when you roll 300(???) times on their banner.

And Recruitment via the papers works here too.

One sec lemme order the thoughts a bit better

The Headhunting and Recruitment Rolls are, in universe terms, a character actively signing on to work with the Doctor Specifically, as well as signing on fully with Rhodes Islands objectives and ideals. It's not enough to have a business deal with them for treatment of you or your people. It's not enough to have a roof over your head. It's not enough to simply have another place to fight, or access to the person you want to fight.

You are trusting this mysterious no face no history manipulator to put you into combat situations with utter monsters and you're trusting them to either see you through it alive (which is a thing they're eeriely good at) or at least to have your death really tangibly mean something (also something in short supply on Terra). You're trusting this organization that simultaneously wants to heal the world of a horrifying disease, protect those who are infected, and also seemingly really make the world a better place (fat chance)

Not to mention the counseling the Doctor also seems to provide which you know...

That's absurd. It's insane.

And it's reflected in both Rarity Level, as well as the manner of recruitment.

Tag Recruitment pulls mostly from a pool of people already associated with Rhodes Island, with the vast majority being low level recruits. Basically all of 3* and below come from RI, and of 4* up only about half do.

That is to say, using the method that costs you the least amount of money and effort (Originium is, in universe, actually pretty valuable and useful if also you know the source of the plague) most of the people that you can actually recruit already sign on to RI's whole thing for one reason or another and everyone else is there for a variety of other reasons.

The people recruited are also generally unskilled, owing to largely being newbies or generally just not being super tough, but then this also plays into it.

RI is in general, or at least ideally anyway, a Hospital First and Military anything a distant second. Ideally, but it doesn't necessarily play out that way (or at least we as players don't get to see it, and there does seem to be a general work if you want treatment but the portrayal so far scales the work to what you can do. Kids gotta work too but for them it's like...Make some Origami, play and go to school and that's your work which could be sinister sure but seems mostly not)

But even accepting that conditions for infected are awful basically everywhere, leaving your home is a big ask, and fighting for people who may in fact end up fighting against your home is also a big ask. It's not something you're gonna see low level folks do by and by.

But the people recruitment DOES pick up who are those higher level folks? They're generally sent specifically to Rhodes Island if they didn't come specifically because they're some of the foremost scholars on the subject of Originium Infection and so on. A lot of them don't have a choice.

Understandably, no matter how skilled or powerful or conneted they are they're not gonna wanna work with you or put themselves in danger for no real reason

And then you have the cases of people who are or were leaders in their field, arguable or actual royalty, people who hold massive amounts of power who are just...Not going to trust like that. They're wise to the world, and they know what's up.

That they're also massively personally powerful is perhaps a side effect of being so high up in the ranks because when you have people who can and do hop out of planes for a snazzy entrance with no harm and at least 8 kinds of completely uninfected Juggernaut Nightmares not being absolutely shredded when you're the big leader of a place is a liability.

Which ok that tracks, but Headhunting? Headhunting is where you start finding people like Skadi who are just...Absolute freaks of nature being honest. You start seeing people who have even less reason to want to have anything to do with Rhode Islands, more guarded, more independent, less reason to be actively into RI despite being there (like Popukar who's a kid)

And then you have the limited pool characters like W and Nian who have ample reason to not want to deal with the Doctor or are just kinda bumming around and Could Help but don't want to (with secret implications to being basically a Kaiju)

And getting them is difficult and painful and nearly impossible because they don't WANT to interact with the Doctor or perhaps really want to put the effort in to do anything at all.

All of this I think is pretty sound so far. Generally speaking, higher ranked characters have less need or want to deal with the Doctor and the Larger Rhodes Island, in addition to be just being from other locations entirely.

What I think makes this more interesting though, and continues on the gacha story link is the pity mechanics.

So, going with the idea that recruitment is more or less deciding to interact with the weird person who tries to eat originium slugs(!?) it makes the decision of various high ranked operators deciding yeah you know what I'm going to go talk to this weirdo. A LOT of people seem to trust him and that's perhaps concerning, but also well...It's a lot of people. People I know (in all probability. Especially in the case of banner rolls where there's usually one or two people who know the high rank units), and even then there's some wild folks in there deciding to put their faith in them...And Heck I'm already here so why not.

And of course that feeds into the trust mechanics too mind you. The more a unit is used, the more the doctor is demonstrating their small extension of trust is proven a good decision. The Increasing potentials is understandable as the doctor coming to a greater understanding of the individual (indeed they're all tokens of trust in some way shape or form aren't they? Things that Mean something to the Operator, even if they're implied to be things that they hate to think about or be connected but still unfortunately mean something that they can't let go of). And or, for that matter, the Operator becoming more open around the Doctor. Becoming more willing to show their full strength, and honestly, playing on the trust angle, isn't it interesting that so many of the operators talents don't come into play until they've been upgraded once or even twice? But hey if we look at it through the lens of Do I trust this person, some of these talents suggest really impressive things which maybe you don't want this guy who you barely know but you're at least willing to work with to know just in case it doesn't work out. TO say nothing else of the fact that upgrades COST. It's a massive investment of money time and supplies to get an operator up there.

Which, to come back to gacha and the pity mechanics, for the two limited characters to call for (at maximum mind you. Luck as always is a factor but you know) truly EXCESSIVE amounts of rolls, and rolls that call for you burning a massive amount of supplies? It can read as, honestly, an attempt to reach out to this isolated person. Mind it's just an extension on the pity bit from before, but given the limited nature it could also be read as a “I am trying to get to know you please respond?”

And For Nian and W that may well mean something. It's a degree of effort that could read as interesting and or alarming given their respective personalities and histories.

But well..that's about as far as I can pull this I think. As always there's going to be an aspect of well “it's monetization don't think too hard about this it's for that cold hard cash” which is absolutely and unfortunately true. Still, I think it's interesting that it DOES line up as well as it does here. If it's intentional that's really cool actually but still.

#Gacha Mechanics #Story and Gameplay Integration #Arknights #W Arknights

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

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animorphssss.....2!

ok one L abt reading the series on my ereader is that the flipbook illustrations arent there ;_; those were my favvvvv

anyways I love animorphs still

I feel like I'll end up repeating myself a lot during these little liveblogs lmao but mannnn it’s so good. its so hardcore. like I know that that’s the whole Thing but I still get shocked by some of the stuff that happens

like a big theme in the series centers around the morality of killing your enemies - and it’s so all over the place bc in book 6 you have jake boiling a bunch of yeerks alive, which is kinda gnarly if you think abt it, but the alternative would be to leave them there and let them infest people soo...? and that’s basically the point, that there are never any easy choices in war

also I went on the animorphs wiki to look at trivia bc I love doing that and I cant BELIEVE (some of) the books were reissued in 2011 and they changed/removed some of the references to be more ‘modern’ omfg....talk about erasing 90s culture smh

likeeee I was born in 97 so I didn't exactly grow up in the 90s and therefore some of the references go over my head but its so charming and fun to have them there! and it makes sense given that the books are SET in the 90s

I don't remember ever being confused by any of the references as a kid (tho for sure a lot of them went over my head), but then again I read the books in like 2008 sooo

also some of the stuff that they change - like changing ‘recorded w/a vcr’ to ‘recorded w/the TV’ or ‘floppy disc’ to ‘flash drive’ may make more sense to modern audiences, but doesn't make sense in the context of the story still being set in the 90s

tho it is funny that the books use the phrase ‘hook up’ to mean ‘meet up’ a lot bc that is a phrase that definitely has a different meaning nowadays

alsooooo as it turns out I'm p sure I only read a couple of the spinoffs - the hork-bajir chronicles and the ellimist chronicles (which was confusing lmao), bc my library didn’t have the others :( 2007/2008 woes....

but now I get to read the spinoffs woooooooo so I read the first megamorphs and the andalite chronicles

I'm reading them in the chronological order (I think?) which is good bc part of the problem was that I read the ellimist book at a completely weird time and it confused me more lmao

megamorphs 1 basically felt like a regular animorphs book except longer, but the plot didn't feel like it needed all that extra page space tbh? even so it was an entertaining adventure

and rachel having amnesia was great, amnesia is one of my fav tropes lmao. and it was a lot of fun here, though a bit underutilized

another favorite trope of mine is time travel, so I'm gonna have a really fun time here w/that

as for the andalite chronicles, I really enjoyed that one. I thought it was a well done story about the horrors of war (which is a theme animorphs does excellently), kind of similar to the overarching story of the whole series, but fit into one book without feeling rushed

the way the story starts out with elfangor wanting to be a hero, not understanding what that entails, to the end where he IS going to be a hero, and he knows now that this is a burden rather than a reward

the horror elements are also really strong, with the taxxon morph being horrifying of course

and mannnn I loved that we got to see more of the taxxons as a species, and see that not all taxxons submitted to the yeerks - which breaks the previous theme of ‘all the taxxons are evil just because’

this book also establishes that the taxxons gave themselves over to the yeerks due to their constant hunger being unbearable, so it isn’t just that they’re evil for fun

animorphs does such an excellent job showing that each ‘side’ of a war will have good and bad (or at least sympathetic and unsympathetic) people

also loren was awesome, what a cool character. though I didn't realize she was literally like 13 until the very end of the book, holy shit. that's crazy. i thought she was 16 at the youngest....geez. her throwing a rock at visser 3 is even more iconic knowing she's a middle schooler at the time

and chapman was here! I'm assuming this must be the same chapman as the assistant principal controller... I thought it was a little strange to put chapman in that role, bc in this book he was a huge asshole basically the entire time, but in the previous (’future’) book it was revealed that he became a controller willingly only to spare his daughter, which is pretty far from this book where he’s actively trying to sell humanity out to the yeerks...people change I guess? (also he got his memory erased so I guess there's that)

alloran was a really interesting character. horrors of war again - we hear from his old buddy that he used to be a fun, witty guy, but war changed him into somebody who would do horrible things

and him becoming a controller was horrifying, obviously, but I like that alloran wasn't portrayed as some perfect, holy guy in order to make it all the more tragic when he got infested. its already fucked up enough as it is, and making him flawed was a lot more meaningful

and him wanting to flush all the yeerks out into space....oooooof the (later) parallels hurt

plus the fact that elfangor refusing to commit genocide against the helpless yeerks (even though they’re the enemy) directly contributing to alloran becoming a controller.....oof. I love that it shows that even making the morally correct decisions during war can lead to awful things happening, but not in a way that endorses evil actions - the story isn’t saying that elfangor should have killed the yeerks, it’s saying that there are no good choices in war

arbron being trapped as a taxxon was fucked up. but also really intriguing, especially how he found purpose and led a free taxxon uprising. I don't remember if we hear from him/the free taxxons again but I hope so

also the plot twist of tobias being elfangors SON...bruh. I do remember that despite not having read this book so it must come up in the main story later but my memory of that is vauge so I’m excited to see how that plays out. it’s always gonna be hilarious to me that ax is technically tobias’s uncle

and then the ellimist drops in and wacks up the time stream even more. classic. I love the crazy time travel stuff in animorphs

omfg and the bits where elfangor is a human tech guy and talked about his friends bill and steve LMAOOOOO

also the scene where elfangor drives the yellow mustang while blasting '(I cant get no) satisfaction’ by the rolling stones was one of the most iconic things I've ever read

basically I loved all the angles of war fucking people up. from loren’s dad, to alloran, to elfangor himself learning about the true horrors of war...v well done imo

ok back to the main series - so my pick for the most fucked up scene SO FAR (in my own personal opinion) - the scene where they're in the jungle and rachel passes out in bear morph and a bunch of rainforest ants start EATING HER ALIVE and like crawling into her ears and mouth and HGGGGGG that was genuinely so fucking disturbing

its a good thing that the time travel made it so rachel couldn't remember that bc that was fuuuuucked

another contender is a scene we don't actually see - erek having his capacity for violence instated and then slaughtering a ton of human and hork-bajir controllers

like damn, you know its fucked up when its too fucked up for ANIMORPHS to even ‘show.’ this is a series that doesn't pull punches but evidentially that would've been Too Much to actually portray (understandably). also i feel like seeing the aftermath/everyone’s reactions had more of an impact than describing erek killing a bunch of people would have

also I forgot that marco Literally Fucking Dies during that scene and that's why he doesn't get to see the slaughter. wow

and then in the very next book JAKE dies too. jesus

oh it was also so sad and fucked up when marco’s dad told him that he and his wife used to fight sometimes, but then all of a sudden they stopped fighting, and their relationship was basically entirely peaceful and perfect - and this is how marco knows exactly when his mom was made into a controller, bc of course a yeerk wouldn't care enough to get into petty arguments like that....ooooof

Okay and book 15 really got me...that was fucking heavy man. Geeeez. Everything w/Marco and his mom is so fucked uppppp

Like he literally has to deal with so much awful traumatizing shit. The scene where he pretends to be a controller and is face to face w/visser one and THAT HIS MOM but he can’t even do anything, and he just sees the evil in her eyes and thinks about how there’s no way she had been controlled by a yeerk that long before bc he’s never seen her look like that...that was so fucking sad.

Plus Marcos mom now thinking that Marco is a controller...aughh...and then later Marco knows he can’t even think-speak to her bc he’ll just talk about everything he’s wanted to talk about to his mom this whole time... ;_;

And the parts where Marcos humor slips and the utter rage he feels towards the situation comes through...man

Plus everything about him being understandably afraid of sharks after being nearly torn in half by one back during their first dolphin adventure

Augh oh and jake telling Marco that everyone can tell something is up bc Marco isn’t joking around and talking about how insane their plan is like usual, so Marco fakes it sand does all that even tho he’s terrified and conflicted...aughhhh

Ok and the last scene where Marco is thinking about a future where he and his parents can talk plainly about how awful and traumatizing everything is, and then eventually they’ll feel okay enough to joke about it, bc Marcos mom is the one who taught him to look at the funny side of life...Oh The Pain

There were a lot of great fucked up individual lines in this book too. I’m just so sad about these poor middle schoolers jfc

Also I do distinctly remember the scene where they collapse the shark tank at Ocean World or w/e, it was weird af reading it bc I remembered none of the rest of the book but got weird deja vu reading that scene and remembering having read it like 13+ years ago

if it’s not clear by now I have a pretty terrible memory for media which is honestly good bc then I can reread things and it’s like new

Also jake...man...I said it previously but I was kinda eh about jake when I first read these bc he’s kinda the ‘basic’ character, but now I find his story much more interesting

His conflict over being leader is really good. KAA does a fantastic job capturing the pressure he’s under bc he was chosen by his friends to be the leader, so he REALLY can’t back out, and he doesn’t necessarily feel up to it, but feels he has no choice in the matter...

And constantly having to make really difficult decisions that could get his friends killed...geez. It’s so much pressure. And he talks about wanting to go back to being a normal kid when this is all over, and it kinda strikes me as him being in denial - like, there’s no way things can ever be ‘normal’ again, but that’s his way of coping.

Especially with Tom and all that. That conflict is so compelling...jake having to play all these different roles - as leader, as a son/student, as a regular brother to Tom - he’s constantly having to act a certain way and rarely gets to be Himself

It’s actually kinda relatable in a way - that feeling of being In Charge, but in a somewhat abstract and informal way, so you feel like regular old you, but you have to carefully regulate how you act bc the people around you expect a certain standard of behavior from you...

And all the morally grey situations they’re put in are fucked up, but especially for jake who has the final say on what they do, even when knowing it could lead to his friends being killed or made into controllers

Like in the book with the cannibal yeerk guy - there’s basically no good choices there. Jake lets the cannibal live, and (at first) implies that it’s for the best that he’s cannibalizing other yeerks and therefore helping get rid of some yeerks - except that he kills their hosts too

but the alternative would be to directly kill another human being who isn't actively fighting/resisting you, which is a fucked up thing for a middle schooler to have to do

And the conflict between jake and Cassie is really excellent bc jake has to make these awful decisions, and Cassie is the type of person who can’t stand that sort of thing, so it gets left up to jake a lot, but then she’s upset with jake for doing something awful, even while knowing that there were no better options

like, her asking jake to kill the cannibal guy for her was really fucked up, but also entirely understandable for cassie as a character to ask. it was an emotionally charged situation, and cassie is an emotional person. she’s also somebody who like to Act, to do concrete good, and getting rid of an Evil Bad Guy in front of her would be a definite action

But Cassie is a great source of morality to the group - most of them are pretty jaded, but Cassie is able to hope in a way none of the rest are. It creates a really compelling dynamic between jake and Cassie that I kinda dismissed when I was like 10 or w/e

Also the scene where jake as a fly gets crushed and starts dying? Seriously fucked. And then after when he’s nearly breaking down in the airport and Cassie comforts him...that was a really good scene. Cassie is so good

And the continuity is so excellent - I love how in book 17, Cassie (and jake to an extent) doesn’t really weigh in on the moral debate abt the oatmeal bc she’s still shaken up by asking jake to murder a guy for her, and then (presumably) going ahead and lighting his house on fire when jake doesn’t kill him

And augh jake and Marco have such a good and interesting dynamic - the entire group kinda pushes each other into their respective ‘roles’ in the group, but for a few books that’s really true for jake and marco

I don't remember what book it was but at some point marco (I think) mentions that jake understands what marco is dealing with w/his mom being a controller bc of tom, but that they don’t talk about it bc they ‘don't talk about stuff like that’ or something and I'm just like noooo talk to each other :(

but at this point jake feels like he can’t really express doubt and fear and stuff like that bc he’s the Leader and they look to him to be strong (which is ironically very similar to how rachel feels), and marco feels like he can’t be serious bc he’s the funny guy.

Basically I love all the different dynamics in the group. How Cassie and Rachel are such opposites but are best friends and get along well, while Marco and Cassie are more directly opposed - as jake says, Marco is ruthless, and Cassie definitely isn’t. Rachel and Marco are also pretty different which is interesting, bc they have a lot in common, and actually agree on a lot (even if they disagree out loud) but their commonalities combined with their circumstances make them react very differently to the same situations

I also love seeing the differences between characters from each other’s POV - like, p much all the characters think that Rachel is completely fearless, but when the book is from her POV, we get to see that that isn’t true at all - she feels plenty of fear, but she recognizes that her role in the group is to be the fearless one, so she pushes aside her fear to fit into that role (which inadvertently pushes her more and more into that ‘fearless warrior’ box - something that happens to all the characters more and more as the story goes on, like jake as ‘the leader’ and Marco as ‘the jokester’).

Also I loooove the grey morality of literally everything. Like the book where ax discovers an andalite traitor - not a controller, just an andalite who betrayed them to the yeerks. This leads to the deaths of like a hundred other andalites, and that whole scene you really just feel for ax, bc he feels so awful about everyone else dying while he escapes, yet he’s also so grateful to be alive, which he in turn feels bad about...

And ax’s conflict about being torn between his home w/his fellow andalites and his new home on earth w/his friends is great

And oh man I fucking love book 19. Any of the books where it goes more into the yeerks and their side of things are so good, just like the book where jake was made into a controller.

And book 19, where we meet a sympathetic yeerk, comes right after 18, where we meet an andalite traitor - again, I love how we clearly see that no one side is completely good or completely bad

So yeah book 19 fucking slapped. That shit was so compelling. I love how Cassie made a bunch of foolish decisions based on naïve hope, but it worked out!! Things aren’t always bleak and awful!

Except there were plenty bleak and awful parts of this book. It had a great balance of moods tbh, even though a lot of the situations were extremely contrived lmao. I love the stuff that aftran says, which is basically what I was thinking when I started my reread - being a yeerk fucking sucks, you’re literally a blind slug but also completely and fully sentient, on the same level as humans and andalites - and as afran pointed out this book, the yeerks are born as parasites, just as humans are born as predators - why is it okay for the humans to kill countless animals to eat, but not for the yeerks to enslave races to act as hosts? Well, the situation isn’t totally comparable, which Cassie and Marco both point out when aftran makes that comparison - the yeerks are enslaving sentient species, and cows and chickens are not the same as the humans and hork-bajir (though the story understandably doesn’t fall too deeply into the ‘who deserves what right/animal sentience’ rabbit hole).

And I like that aftran points out that the yeerks basically have 2 options currently - stay helpless and blind in a yeerk pool, or enslave a host. It’s interesting to hear that a lot of yeerks don’t like doing this but see it as the only options, as opposed to complete sensory deprivation. It makes me wonder if there are yeerks who are so staunchly against it that they elect to stay as pool-bound slugs forever

Also maybe it’s the shounen anime fan in me but I don’t even care that much that Cassie’s entire plan was completely off the rails and hinged on only the slightest chance of success - with failure being much more likely and completely catastrophic, with the animorphs and their loved ones all being wiped out, vs success being unlikely and also achieving...a moral victory? Peace between two enemy combatants in a huge war? nothing all that concrete...anyways it was a bunch of good-faith horrible decisions on Cassie’s part, but I don’t even care? I love stories where hope and love save the day against all odds, especially when they’re wielded like weapons by a character and make everything end nicely

This is especially true here bc animorphs is generally a series that leans very far away from that type of thing, so when it does happen, it feels like a victory. Plus the David trilogy is next so we kinda need a happy ending while we can

also bc I compared animorphs to hxh last time, I now have to compare it to the other series I've (partially) liveblogged, transformers mtmte.

this is gonna be more abstract and brief but basically. mtmte is all about after the war, and everyone has so much trauma and everything just sucks, so they all go on a space cruise and work on themselves. basically.

but the series does a lot of exploration of how war fucks people up - same as animorphs, tho animorphs spans the beginning of the war (for the main characters at least) until the end, whereas mtmte starts when the war ends.

but the point is. both series do an excellent job showcasing the wide range of reactions people have to being put in unthinkable situations during wartime. all the major characters in mtmte go through arcs where they heal/change from the war, some more subtle than others

basically the animorphs needs to go on a wacky space cruise adventure with a bunch of other fucked up people and figure their shit out, mtmte style

ok this is wicked long already so I’m gonna end it here. also I feel like I should start the next liveblog w/the david triology bc I’m for sure gonna have a lot to say abt that

#i wrote like half of this in my phone notes while on vacation in the wilderness lmao #animorphs #lj reads animorphs

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ramblingguy54 · 4 years

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MHA’s Current War Arc

What has really struck me about MHA’s current arc in the manga is how well it reverses that concept of pure heroism showing what has become of characters like Shigaraki, Dabi, and Twice as the first ones that come to my mind. Sure they’re doing despicable acts currently, but what drove them to that notion? Society’s neglect toward them, as well as heroes playing a big part in that combination, too. Nana Shimura made a big decision to cut a grandson outta her life, due to her reputation as a famous hero leading to Shigaraki suffering a life of abuse and emotional solitude snapping him into a bloodcurdling screaming rampage of hatred toward the world. Twice hit someone with his bike, despite obeying the speed limit, and it went into a downward spiraling domino effect that ruined his self-esteem making crime feel like was the only thing left for himself. Dabi, aka Touya Todoroki, suffered greatly under God knows what kind of shit Endeavor put him through. Serious emotional neglect, abused beyond belief, and probably got those scars on his body, due to the intensive training his father put him through. A society based around priding itself in heroism aint all what its cracked up to be when these heartbreaking variables are thrown into the mix. It shines a darker light on heroism being dangerous for those connected to people, who’ve made it their entire life’s work to save others’ lives. It’s very important to show the effects it can have upon their families, friends, acquaintances, etc.

All of this comes down to an important moral conflict. Are villains disasters of their own making or are heroes and society what led into them becoming who they are now?

Sure, the antagonists should take responsibility on some level because the past doesn’t entirely define who you are. Although, the fucked up part of it all is society and heroes have played an importance in churning out not only heroes like Nana Shimura, All Might, and Gran Torino in the past, but the villains to boot. I mean, Gentle Criminal’s backstory, even though it was a smaller conflict, contributes to a consistent ongoing message MHA goes on to make a point about. Gentle tried to help save someone with the misuse of his powers and was spit upon by just about everyone in his life with civilization. MHA’s world is simply its own best friend and worst enemy on that perspective taking so much of these factors into account. It creates along with destroys peoples’ lives in the process. Nana Shimura didn’t want to separate herself from her own grand child. It was because she was a hero some decisive choice needed to be made having consequences on both ends of the spectrum for Shigaraki and Nana, too. Their dynamic makes a horrific punchline that the life of a heroism can be a blessing, yet a terrible curse in disguise. MHA has done an excellent job showing these pros and cons of deciding to take on a life of heroics when you’ve got a family needing to be taken into account for what it could mean for future events.

Sorahiko, I have no son...

MHA highly praises ideals of heroism, yet goes on to display why it’s such an awful burden to bear on your own heart. Whether you’re looking at Nana Shimura or Touya Todoroki’s disturbing reveal of how came to be who he is, it only goes on to reinforce that heroism and villainy aren’t all that different from each other in a twisted sense. Each side can change a person’s life forever in MHA’s world of characters for better or worse, as seen with the entirety of the League’s evolution of standing together as screwed up guys of this highly flawed system of their’s. Heroes & Villains are cut from the same cloth in that way for how much they can shake up the status quo around someone’s resolve. Look no further than the hero killer, Stain’s, ambitions inspired from All Might’s unwavering personality to be a selfless hero aspiring in saving anyone and everyone. One of the biggest praises I can sing of this story is they’ve been able to incorporate so many determining stakes adding such high emotional stakes to the story. It’s not just one big thing in danger of being destroyed, like an important character’s life. The entirety of everything their world stands for is in jeopardy that could change permanently with each passing tragedy.

THE PAST NEVER DIES!!!

Something Touya takes full advantage of in the most diabolical way, by broadcasting his origins across everywhere he can reach. He’s sticking it to his father, Endeavor, in more ways than one. Touya is knocking him off the pedestal of being number one hero, while hitting everyone in the gut that he’s got big demons from his past. Touya is one of those terrifying demons, taking note of every scar on his body that was most likely received from a combination of abusing his flames too much in training, while other were probably from Endeavor beating him as punishment possibly. Dabi’s reveal is haunting, saddening, and a reminder of everything his father is trying to forget. You can’t outrun your past, ever. All you can do is confront head on for everyone else to see. Touya isn’t letting him get off the hook, wanting their civilization to see his humiliation of being called out, where he’s a literal receipt of Enji Todoroki’s parental neglect. Shoto thought he had it bad? God, he’s about to go down a rabbit hole about how much his father dropped the ball with this kid here.

This arc is gonna challenge everything heroes stand for further and I’m totally here for that juicy angst. This has been one Hell of a trip for sure, showing the horrifying ramifications heroes and villains have had on society.

#mha analysis #bnha manga spoilers #dabi is todoroki touya #nana shimura #tomura shigaraki #mha twice #gran torino #my hero academia

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hellsbellschime · 4 years

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I understand how characters in the books are blinded by the allure of fire for various reasons, but the readers' reactions surprise me too. Then again all sorts of things in these books fly over people's head. R'hllor and its priests are awful, and I think we are meant to be horrified by what they do, not brush them off excusing what they and their followers do.

But aside from those nutjobs, even in the chapter where Dragons were born, despite the pretty language there, how Daenerys regards the fire is terrifying. It is one of the most beautiful chapters, it really is a good read. But Dany's reaction is not normal. She is burning someone alive but "The flames were so beautiful, the loveliest things she had ever seen," Girl whaaaat?? "The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought." Well Bride of Fire indeed. It is captivating sure, but how the readers -and most of the fans reread the series over and over again- not see this anything but a warning sign is a mystery to me.

I think it’s very clearly meant to be a horrifying and weird fascination to be sure. Like, we know that this world is an exceptionally brutal one and we still know that kinslaying is a huge taboo, so the fact that a lot of R’hllor’s followers that we see don’t even think twice about killing their own family is clearly meant to signify that there is a problem here. FFS, like the people who worship the Many-Faced god are LITERAL ASSASSINS and they aren’t killing as many people as the Red god’s worshipers are, the amount of people that they’re killing in sacrifice is fucking NUTS and it’s no wonder they have so much magical power, but clearly we’re not supposed to see that as good.

And the way in which GRRM writes about Dany and fire is also meant to be quite distinctive, obviously. It’s certainly not a way in which normal people think about fire, and the fact that she and so many other seem to literally romanticize it is very odd (which it’s meant to be). Even if people want to argue that it’s not necessarily an indication that she’ll go bad, I can totally concede that, but there is no denying that the way that Dany sees fire specifically is extremely strange.

#asoiaf #Anonymous

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years

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Onyx tells Mc she’s pregnant. They hosts a party for everyone to announce of Onyx’s pregnancy. How they announce it and how everyone react are up to you!

Written by @evoedbd

WARNINGS Mentions of abuse Mentions of miscarriage Potentially offensive attempts at humor

Chanouncement

Cali was good with weird. Completely fine. The last year had seen her life absolutely flipped on its head. Perhaps rolled over by a truck, chopped up, tossed into a woodchipper, fed to gulls, shat out across the country… the picture was quite morbid.

Cali had foolishly thought her life couldn’t get any weirder. After all, she was dating the nicer of two near identical twins, who both so happened to be supernaturally selected demon slayers. The “evil” twin had turned Cali into a well of Supernatural energy and used said power to give the demons a massive level up. That wasn’t all, she’d also watched said twin, whilst possessed, gut Onyx, the love of her life and watched Onyx emerge a dragon. If that wasn’t unusual and morbid enough, Cali had literally shouted her romantic love at a literal dragon, who had once been her five-foot nothing girlfriend. Cali had been dating a literal dragon. In love with a literal dragon. That should have topped the weirdness charts. But no, Cali had then become the next Envy herself, and thus the only human bridge between a mod girl reincarnated into a brown bear, and her dead girlfriend. If that wasn’t enough, she’d been part of a ritual to bring her girlfriend back into human form, and to top it off, Cali discovered that her blood was the literal key to her girlfriend’s soul and destroying it. Nothing too serious. Just casual lesbian disaster stuff. Only, neither she nor Onyx were actually lesbians. Both of them appreciated men. In the sexy way. In the “Onyx had dated a man who abused her until her twin sister had gutted him like a pig and stolen his supernatural powers”, way. That kind of bisexual… no wonder some people were a little intimidated by the Queer community. Between U-Haul lesbians not checking for demon possession and world ending bisexuals, that was all pretty scary.

Though not as scary as what she and her lady love planned to do. As fate would have it, if fate was a wonderful arsehole conscious, Cali had been delivered a further dose of weirdness in her unusual life. Weirdness in the form of her formerly dragon, formerly dead girlfriend discovering she was pregnant under the potent influence of ritualistic magic, which had restored her human form. Given that these circumstances would have been terrifying for anybody, even without the added fact that she was now vulnerable for a demon demi-devil’s possession and the prime target of an apocalyptic plot, it made absolute sense that Onyx was anxious. Cali had been there, she understood how end of the world pressure like that could mess with a girl, which was why it was imperative to bring the team up to date on the latest development… and no, that was not a kidney, not yet. Onyx wasn’t that far along.

So far, the plan of a joyful distraction had gone off without a hitch. The common area was alive with laughter flowing from the Sin Troupe. Alcohol flowed relatively freely, along with several bowls and bags of typical party food such as potato chips and popcorn. The floor was already littered with crumbs, mostly from the boys throwing scraps at Wrath between rounds of charades. One thing Cali had learned tonight was that for a group that entertained for a living, a group also responsible for concealing the fact the world was woefully fucked from the general population, they were horrific actors. Now the money and tickets made sense, for even the most deluded of fans would surely notice the cracks if it was left to their acting skills alone.

“Shaving! Um, WHIPPED! Oh! BDSM KINK SHAMING!”

“Moron.”

“Darius… how did you even get that from dancing?”

“Oh? That’s what it is? I thought Wrath was possessed.”

“She’s Britney Spears. Cal’s her circus boy.”

“Well we aren’t all DJs here, Malakai. How was I supposed to get that from whatever she and Cal were doing?”

Cali didn’t tune into the words after that. She was back to anxious, or perhaps the woman tucked under her arm was. It was difficult to tell with the bond so active, causing the teeth marks on her shoulder to burn with the heat of a dragon’s love. Try as she might, she was caught between two violent sensations. The magic of the mark; memories of heat as playful nips had become a serious bite, a possessive one from a Dragon unlike the world had ever seen, or ever would. It wasn’t like anybody had seen Onyx as a dragon… except two sold out nights of the Sin Circus, a carnival ground and a shopping mall full of super excited fans and everyone online. Ok, that was a lot of people who’d seen Onyx as a dragon. That could be a problem. Which led to the anxiety. The type which made sweat prickle in all the uncomfortable places and her stomach do terrified flips. She wasn’t even the pregnant one. Onyx had to survive a pregnancy, targeting and contain a literal dragon’s soul.

All Cali had to do was make the statement that she had an announcement to make like a normal human being. She had to ignore the sweat trickling down her palms, tickling every crease, and how her heart skipped several beats in the past minute; rushing faster and faster until she could hear in her ears when she closed her eyes. Slower Blinks. She had to be normal. Be normal. Be normal. Be normal.

All she had to do was make a single little announcement, that was admittedly life changing. It wasn’t like these people would judge. After all they were supernatural Demon assassins chosen by mystical powers based on the Seven Deadly Sins. If there was any group which were not judgemental it would surely be these people.

“I have channouncement to make.” she said with a rather high-pitched voice and a casual smile just a little too tight to be completely relaxed. In a room full of assassins she might as well have been waving a red flag saying terrified med school dropout alert. This was the time for the royal skill of fake it till you make it mixed with an impossibly large dose of denial. Anxious? Cali? Hah! No way. She had nailed it.

“What she means is we want to tell you something. Since we’re already playing charades, we want to try and see if you can guess.” Onyx chimed in, snuggling playfully under Cali’s arm. The mechanic grinned, letting her goofy affection conceal another wave of nerves. It was easier if she just stared at Onyx and let her face do what it would do. Give in to the muscles making her smile as she got lost in the most dazzling green eyes the world had ever seen. The dusting of blue eyeshadow really made those eyes pop, like emeralds offered to thieves on booby trapped pedestals. Hah, boobs! Cali liked those. Especially Onyx’s. No matter how Cali tried to avoid falling for the emerald trap, she found her gaze lingering, feasting on how the light shone across dark lashes and the rhinestone piercing just beneath Onyx’s right eye. It kept focus away from tender pink lips, from subtle little bites that portrayed a mix of excitement and nerves. Cali doubted the others would realise Onyx was anything other than playful. Afterall Onyx was a master of faking it until she made it, even to her closest friends. It showed in how loose her body was, how genuine her show stopping smile seemed. If Cali hadn’t felt the flickering within the bond, she may have bought Onyx’s act. That and the affection. How Onyx’s arm around her waist pulled that little bit too tight to be casual. Or how trimmed nails tried to dig into the grey fabric of Cali’s shirt; dragon talons clinging to the finest treasure. A scared girl seeking reassurance.

“Right. And to make it a team Envy experience, I’m going to tell Rip how to act.” Cali explained out loud, barely restraining her laughter as Ripley’s eagerness flooded her mind.

“Alright! I’m the best at charades! My acting is on point. Everyone thinks I’m a bear.”

Cali didn’t have the heart to tell Ripley that her “bear” act was entirely too adorable to be terrifying. Ripley may have the body of a bear, her soul, however, was still that of a tender human. Her soft eyes would strike terror into the hearts of the masses, along with her awkward attempts at snarls and finely groomed coat. Every gesture of her paws would see her painted pink claws drip sparkles, which admittedly might be horrifying to cishet folk. Ripley as always, was dressed for battle, wearing a fearsome checkered neck scarf, complete with an adorable little bow…truly, Ripley could intimidate the world into movies and cuddles. She could terrify little girls into dropping popcorn into her open maw as she scrolled an iPad and lamented the fashion she could no longer wear. She was oh so very, very terrifying. Cali had fallen for the bear terror for five seconds when they’d met, that was true. Then again, Cali had also believed Vinca a completely evil maniac who killed Onyx’s boyfriend, who was a loving and uplifting man, just to steal his powers and fuck with Onyx. She had assumed Dorran had loved and cherished Onyx until his dying breath. Cali had assumed Dorran had trained her, protected her, instead of abused her and hurled her at demons. Cali’s track record with assumptions was pretty horrific, actually. Horrifically awful.

She realised her lingering rage must have echoed through the bond when a soft touch to her forearm drew her attention. Once again, she was drawn into the trap of green, found herself beneath the crashing wave of Onyx’s gaze. This gaze, however, was different. It was sympathy and confusion, a jumbled mess of understanding which stood secondary to the fact Onyx wished to soothe. A small flick at the corner of Cali’s mouth let Onyx know the gesture was received, the storm had passed, at least for now. She didn’t need to keep her gaze on Onyx to know that the former Envy Assassin’s expression mirrored her own. Cheeky grins and eyes twinkling with mischief as Cali allowed her mind to sink into the images and emotions she needed to convey, needed Ripley to convey. Onyx was their awareness, her approval expressed in delighted cackles and birdsong laughter, by her touch on Cali’s arm shifting with her small body.

The bear started out stiff, walking in shorter, wider strides on hind legs as forelegs awkwardly extended before her in a zombie like attempt of curves. A few strides in, Ripley fell forwards, catching her weight on her forepaws, before attempting her waddling all over again. This time, poor Ripley tried to bring them to her back, only to manage to reach her hips; range of motion not allowing her any further. The awkward waddling, paws on hips appeared like something off a runway full of models who had indulged in too many illegal substances. The display had everyone howling with glee, even Ripley within the Envy Trio’s heads. Eventually, Ripley ceased the arms, instead waddling awkwardly around as crew shouted out their guesses.

“Zombies!”

“Onyx got a Runway offer!”

”Did you buy a petting zoo?”

Both Cali and Onyx laughed, shaking their heads to every shout. Ripley let forth a beastly groan as she lowered herself to the ground, then rolled onto her back. After some awkward shuffling, the bear eventually lifted her feet straight into the air, spread apart as far as her beastly hips would allow. The pose was awkward enough for a human, let alone a bear, with her little tail all fluffed up and her long arms gesturing in awkwardly small arcs across her rather fuzzy stomach.

“Onyx is getting a feature in a music video!”

“She’s designing for a dance studio!”

“Onyx has put on weight!”

“We’re meant to guess an announcement, moron, not state an obvious.”

“Cal, manners.”

“It’s true, she is a bit bulkier since she became human again.”

“You know, it’d be easier if you just told me what I was acting, instead of having me rolling around like a pregnant whale.” Ripley sighed through the bond, rising halfway before freezing. She seemed shocked beyond comprehension. Had she been human, Cali was sure Ripley’s face would have lost its hue. The Envy trio stared at each other. Onyx’s face had gone ashen with fright, concern filtering through her tight smile. Her apprehension flooded the bond, all her concerns jumbled together in a tide which threatened to wash both Ripley and Cali away. Fear that she might lose the approval of her sister figure. That she might garner disapproval or be judged for something beyond her control. That everyone would hate her. That she’d be alone again.

“Onyx is…?” Ripley’s question never came through completely.

The moment Cali realised what was happening, her mind was there. She stormed Onyx’s consciousness, shield raised to deflect every horrific thought and fear before she lashed out. Snapshots of fantasy, impossibilities given life for a few seconds. A scent more appealing and delicate than anything else the world could offer. Soft baby blonde hairs that appeared almost white against more tanned skin. Emerald green eyes glistening with nothing but utter adoration. The rush of family, how the feeling of their support could provide wings. Onyx, belly rounded, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling with delight, toes kicking through a gentle stream. A loving smile from Vinca, the sharpness abandoned as she cooed over an innocent child. How tiny a child would be in Wrath’s large arms, yet how tender the brawler would be. Malakai’s warm smile as the baby traced his tattoos. Darius, dangling his chain just out of their reach as the babe giggled. Cal, strumming his guitar as the three men sung to the babe, who slumbered in an older Avi’s arms.

“Oh my god! Onyx is-” Again, Ripley never finished the though. Her eyes rolled backwards, almost as if she were being possessed in a hammer horror film. Her legs gave out, her body crumpled to the ground. Cali found herself swaying, her vision filled with black dots as the intensity of their emotions washed over the trio, sweeping them away in the tsunami. She clung to Onyx, fighting to keep the smallest Envy assassin on her feet. Onyx seemed to feel the same way, given how she clung tighter to Cali, preventing the Chinese woman from falling. A loud crash let Cali know that Ripley had indeed gone through the bowls of supplied snacks, along with the table they rested on. Chips flew everywhere, spraying across the penthouse along with shards of broken bowls. The laughter stopped, everyone half rising, half looking towards Cali.

“… That wasn’t part of the announcement.” Was the only thing Cali could offer to the expectant assassins. The room went eerily silent, enough that one might hear crickets chirping, or the din from the streets of Vegas echoing to the top floor of the hotel.

“She’s having a baby!” An entirely too cheerful voice broke the deafening silence, drawing everyone’s attention to Cal’s little boy. Avi stood in the doorway to the common area, his little yellow hood pulled up over sleep tussled black locks. His deep brown eyes shone like melted chocolate, filled with a tired child’s innocent delight and excitement. Cali couldn’t help but smile at the boy, giving him the smallest nod of approval, which only made him smile so delightedly that his white teeth stood starkly against his dark skin.

“How does that tie into O- oh…” Malakai started out confused, only for realisation to flood his rich eyes. His mouth fell open, brows arching towards his hairline as his gaze travelled between Avi, Cali then to Onyx. Cali couldn’t read him, couldn’t tell what that meant. Oh? That was ALL he had to say? Just oh? Oh, that was, OH, so very helpful.

“Oh?” Wrath began, her own eyes following the same path Malakai’s had.

“Ohhhhh…” She drew out, seeming to have reached the same conclusion he had. Cali felt herself bunch up, muscles rippling beneath her skin as if they were infected vines. Did they not realise what they were doing? Could they not see how Onyx shrunk away from them? Could they not tell how close to tears she was? It flooded Cali’s body, overwhelming her with its chill. As if winter had fallen for a thousand years across all her nerves until only an aching numbness lingered. The subtle tensions through her screamed her protective intentions as she angled herself defensively between the troupe and Onyx, shielding the anxious woman from such evident attention. If the troupe were going to hurt her, then they had better be prepared to face the wrath of Two Envy Assassins… or at least a sassy bike mechanic.

“Oh.” Wrath concluded. It was simple but telling, accompanied by the pinch of her brows. Confusion and consideration warred within her eyes, yet her face remained remarkably blank. It was enough to have Onyx’s breath escape shakily as she clung to Cali’s arm, squeezing until she was sure her nails would be biting through the colourful cloth of her hoodie. If Cali felt pain, it didn’t show, she simply stood silent. A guardian. A woman ready to fight tooth and nail to protect what she loved. The magic within her mark burned immensely hot, scorching Cali’s skin as its darkness flared, much like a panther swishing its tail in agitation. Despite everything, Onyx couldn’t help but lean closer, pressing her forehead into the mark she had left so long ago.

“Yeah. Big Oh.” Cal agreed, his own eyes shifting between everyone, calculating in his sharp, judgemental manner.

“A bad oh?” Cali challenged, unable to endure the strain of not knowing for a second longer. The calculating glances, the wide-eyed silence, everything screaming silent judgements. Cali couldn’t stand it, and if she couldn’t then she knew Onyx would be drowning. The blonde seemed to cower, tucking her head into Cali’s collar as the Asian woman unleashed her inner dragon upon every Assassin with a pointed glare. Cali’s arms encased Onyx, a fortress of flesh and bone protecting the scared princess. Despite her height, Cali found herself playing prince and dragon, both warring to keep the princess safe in their ways. It would be so easy to protect with nothing but love, to embody the princely hero and do no evil. Let the Princess make her own mistakes and swoop in to clean up the mess. However, Cali had always been more of a dragon. Someone to shield those she loved from harm with all her might, to try to prevent them ever leaving to make the mistake in the first place.

A universal flinch rolled through the Assassins, ricocheted like a bullet from Cal’s gun once they realised just how they had come across to the smallest yet brightest of their number.

“Girl, you’re gonna be a baby momma? I get to be an uncle?” It was Darius who brought the excitement. His seductive eyes shone with barely restrained glee; glee which bubbled through to his most dashing smile. His whole body appeared to vibrate, as if he was giving everything in order restrain himself. His glee was infectious, seeping into Cali’s muscles with a gentle warmth until they thawed. She allowed herself to relax a little, giving Onyx an opening to lift her head and give a shy nod. At that nod, sparks flew, igniting the warmth within every assassin. Darius practically flew forwards, wrapping his arms around Onyx and Cali in his excitement. Malakai was right behind him, scooping the three huggers into his humongous arms and giving a gentle squeeze. Finally, Onyx laughed with relief so potent it was as if the air itself heaved a sigh.

“I’m so happy for you.” Malakai whispered, lowering his head into the pack so that he could press an adoring kiss to Onyx’s cheek. Darius seemed determined to copy the gesture, planting his own lips to Onyx’s forehead in a few lazy pecks. Onyx giggled, squeezing whomever she could grasp. Cali didn’t kiss, not this time, she simply rested her forehead to Onyx’s temple, offering her own silent support.

“Congratulations, Onyx.” Wrath’s gentle voice was flooded with warmth, with unconditional love as she wrapped her own arms around the group, holding her team as if they may shatter under the intensity of her love. That thought was enough to make Cali smile. Wrath loved as she lived, hard and intense. When one had Wrath’s affection, they had the weight of her heart on their sleeve, the promise of an Arch Angel named for a sin. The warmth of Wrath’s hug was potent beyond the physical, it seeped into the soul. Wrath warmed from the inside out with her embrace, turning everyone mushy and relaxed. None relaxed further than Onyx, who trusted her weight to the men and women wrapped around her. Cali was perhaps the only one who denied herself the safety, instead raising her challenging glare to Caleb North. The only Assassin yet to give a reaction.

“Avi, cover your ears.” He finally began, letting forth a soft hiss of breath between his teeth. Long, callused fingers brushed through his supermodel locks, pushing them away from his glistening forehead as he waited for his ward to obey. Avi, innocently as ever, clamped his little hands over his twee ears. Only when Cal was sure that Avi was blocking his ears did the Sloth Assassin begin.

“I don’t understand how you’re all taking this so well. Especially you, Cali. Even a med dropout should -”

“I didn’t cheat!” Onyx’s outraged cry was enough to have everyone flinching. Onyx was a pool of wrath, sickly tar bubbling to a boil in a cauldron precariously positioned above the archway of a door. Or above the gates soldiers of shame might siege. Cali turned her focus back to Onyx, watching how her nostrils flared, reminiscent of her dragon form. Cali fancied she saw a haunted gleam in Onyx’s blazing green eyes, which had narrowed in utter fury, causing her piercing to gleam like a blade in the light. Gone was the whimpering, terrified maiden within that accusation. Onyx had already been that for two people. Now, Onyx stood confident, challenging the world instead of shying from an abuser. As terrified as she had been of her family’s reaction, Onyx was done running.

“I didn’t even think that!” Cal fired back, as if offended on Onyx’s behalf that such a thing were even considered. It was then Cali could see it. The concern waging war with cautious joy in his deep blue eyes. It was noticing that which kept Cali from lunging into the fray, instead giving Cal a chance to redeem himself in their eyes. Or dig his own grave.

“But pregnancy is stressful enough without adding demons, and the fact that you turned into a dragon! Ask yourself, with everything going on, is this really the time to start playing happy family? Is it safe? You see what I go through with Avi. What if you die, or die again in Onyx’s case? I’m worried about you. A child is a serious responsibility, not something to dabble with in the honeymoon phase of your re-“

“Honeymoon phase? That’s what you’re calling -” Cali fired up, her own dark eyes igniting with rage. Cal had dug his grave with construction grade machinery. She could feel the mark burning, instinctively knew it was the angriest it had ever been, as if rebelling along with the rest of her body. Her vision blurred, weakened legs causing her to half stumble. She could barely hold herself up, yet she wanted nothing more than to lunge at the Sloth assassin. Honeymoon phase? Is that what he thought? There was nothing honeymoon about dying! Nothing honeymoon about offering your soul to a lineage of power just to let the one you love have a single coherent thought!

“Enough.” Wrath didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t need to. The note of finality in her tone was more than enough to bring Cali’s instinctive outrage grinding to a halt long enough for her to take a soothing breath and blink away the haze from her vision. She felt Onyx do the same, even as Malakai, Darius and Wrath untangled from the cuddle huddle and respectfully gave the Envy assassins their breathing room.

“I think Cal is just as confused as we are as to how this happened.”

“The gay club doesn’t know?” Darius’ gasped interruption drew the eyes of the entire room, much like metal shavings to a magnet. Despite his crude wording, his shock that nobody else knew was evident, painted across his dashing face as if it were a canvas hanging in the Louvre.

“Darius. I’m not gay.” Onyx’s correction was gentle, delivered with an amused tilt to her lips.

“Errrmmmm, I’m bi.” Cali lifted a hand timidly, akin to how a child might raise it when unsure of the answer in class.

“I wasn’t invited to any club.” Malakai’s comment was delivered quietly, his brows arched in a mocking display of confusion. Wrath, dutiful as ever, simply crossed her large arms, muscles flexing deliciously with every subtle movement. Her head fell forwards, face meeting her awaiting palm as she bluntly informed everyone.

“There is no club.”

“Code then? So the Bi-bies are having a baby and broke the queer code? Like, aren’t don’t you queers have some form of secret club? How did the Lesbian not know? Aren’t you all meant to be experts on lady parts? Malakai might get a pass as a pan man. Queer people always seem to know everyone’s-”

“Darius.” Malakai began, stepping forwards. The sound of chips crunching beneath his boots was enough to draw a tiny snicker from Cali, though her amusement was quickly smothered by the exhausted frown on Wrath’s face. Her usually blazing eyes held poignant gleam. Something so deeply cut, as if her heart had once more been shattered. The mechanic didn’t even realise where Wrath’s mind had gone, not until she felt Onyx also tense beside her. Oh… that was too telling. The last time Wrath’s sexuality had come into the group, half the group had died. Her family had been torn apart as she helplessly cradled a broken heart heavy in a hollowed out chest. Darius had just toed a landmine; one he didn’t even realise he was prone to step on. Even Cal held his tongue, watching his leader with a softened expression that was all the more lancing. A joust of agony straight to Cali’s chest, or perhaps it was Onyx’s chest. At this point, it didn’t matter, both hearts beat to the same music, each complimentary and connected by the existence of music.

“Stop digging yourself into that hole, man, its deep enough.” Malakai concluded. Darius looked puzzled for a moment as he looked around the room before sudden realisation dawned in his eyes. Never had Cali seen him shuffle as awkwardly as he did then, steadfastly avoiding Wrath’s gaze.

“Right… but yeah, wow, congratulations baby girl, or baby momma now.”

“Thanks.” Onyx muttered, offering a small yet undoubtedly genuine flick of a smile.

“Cali, I gotta say, I did not peg you for… you know?” Darius powered on, earning several confused looks from the group. Genuine awe shone in his eyes, mixed with an overly heaped spoonful of respect. The concoction of emotions was potent, yet it only left Cali blinking in confusion.

“I do?” She drew the sounds out, shuffling awkwardly until she untangled herself from Onyx. With a flick of her chin, she attempted to clear a sweat slicked bang from her face, only to have it catch across her lashes. Her eyes watered, stinging with the saltiness of sweat, punishing her perhaps for not seeing what was going on. Where was Darius going with this?

“Like, wow. I guess we should have known you were packing from all the noise you two make, but I did not even notice.”

“Darius!” Onyx gasped, her tone scolding and scandalised even as the most awkward giggle imaginable bubbled in her throat. The beautiful slopes of her cheeks flushed brilliantly, showing through the layers of makeup in splotchy pinks. Only Cali knew that underneath, Onyx would be brighter than a tomato; her blush the embodiment of coals when left bare to the world.

“Noise? Packing?” Cali inquired, continuing to wipe at her offended eye as she tried to puzzle what Darius was saying.

“Like, your tuck job is insane! And it hardly looks like you’re wearing makeup at all! And your boobs, like, they look real, man.” He powered on like a trooper, gesturing to her chest area.

“Um… they are?” Cali’s questioning tone became even more befuddled. Why was he commenting on her chest? How did that tie into Onyx’s pregnancy? It was not like Cali was going to be providing breastmilk, so what else was she missing?

“Oh! I didn’t realise you were on treatments. That totally makes sense-”

“Hold on… do you think I’m-” Cali tried to interrupt. Treatments. Packing. Tuck job. Breast surgery. All of this pointed towards one thing.

“I’ve seen some bad tuck jobs in my day, I mean like, slipping from under the dress levels. Your tuck-”

“I DON’T HAVE A DICK DARIUS!” Cali shouted, sending the entire room into silence. Instantly, her hands flew to her mouth, covering it in utter shock at her own outburst. Embarrassed didn’t begin to cover it, she was utterly mortified. Both for her outburst and that her sex was even in question. Then, guilt washed over her. Guilt that she was embarrassed over an assumption, that she was even edging on potentially phobic behaviour. She had been born female; born the way she was meant to be as a person. That she was embarrassed as being mistaken for trans felt as if she was insulting the trans community somehow. That thought alone made her feel sick.

“…Oh.”

“We really needed to hear that. I don’t think downstairs heard you.” Cal’s particular brand of snark earned a soft snort from several people, which only made Cali’s cheeks burn hotter. Despite this, she uncovered her face, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m not trans. Also, that is so rude! If someone is trans you don’t just casually tell them you’ve made them! That’s so hurtful! Come on, man.”

“Not cool, Darius. Not cool.” Malakai added. The other assassins nodded, murmuring their agreement.

“Then how are you two so loud? We’ve had to invest in earplugs, and your noise has chased off four girls this week!” Darius’ lament was met by a loud scoff from Cali.

“Seriously? That’s what you meant by noise, Darius? You’re Lust, literally, and can’t think how to get loud without a …?” She trailed off, making several awkward gestures with her hand. Her fingers curled, forming a loose cupping shape as flicked her wrist back and forth, hand around the height of her stomach. Her gesture didn’t last long before Onyx’s shoulder playfully bumped into hers, earning a playful tap in return as the women swayed into one another.

“There have been noise complaints… and a cleaning bill for the elevator. Also, a note to visit lost and found. Something about clothing?” Wrath dutifully informed, fighting off the dusting of pink across her cheeks as valiantly as she could. Several pairs of eyes fixed upon Onyx, who suddenly seemed to shrink into Cali’s side. The Chinese woman felt Onyx’s body heat up, enough that she was convinced steam should have been hissing from Onyx’s ears like smoke from a coal train. In the heat of the moment, neither Cali nor Onyx had stopped to think about anything save each other. Clothes had been abandoned across Vegas, and the elevator… the memory of trees flooded the bond. Onyx climbing Cali like one. The dirt filled roots of the tree Onyx had gifted Cali when she was a dragon. Innocence and seductive depravity bubbled within the bond, only increasing the heat in both their faces.

“Can I be dead again?” Onyx squeaked, covering her face with Cali’s hoodie. The idea of Onyx dying again was agonising, enough that a sharp retort bubbled on the tip of Cali’s tongue. She swallowed it, pushing her tongue down into the cavity of her jaw to resist crying out. If she was in the position of being told to retrieve her clothing from lost and found, Cali probably would have felt the same way.

“Hold on. I thought we were discussing how Onyx got knocked up.” Darius cut in. Instantly, Cali was conflicted. His bluntness was a smack on the snout, though it did save them from a far more awkward conversation.

“Darius…” Cal’s hissed warning was enough to send a chill through the room.

“Which we are all crazy happy for, baby girl, but it is a big change.” The Lust assassin continued, earning a loud snort from Onyx.

“Yeah. Tell me about it.”

“She didn’t cheat, and we didn’t exactly plan for it. Nahara told us there could be a cost for restoring Onyx to her human form. The possibilities included a physical manifestation of the bond between the barer of the mark and Envy.” Cali explained. She stepped up a little, moving to wrap her arm securely around Onyx’s shoulders. Such lithe shoulders, despite their muscle, that bore the weight of the world. Such smooth skin beneath her fingertips as she massaged the curve of Onyx’s far shoulder, trying to ease even a fraction of her burden. Cali’s fingers traced odd patterns, even tickling down the divots of Onyx’s muscled biceps.

“Which arguably could be you. You’re both now, Cali.” Malakai commented, tone thoughtful. His dark eyes narrowed, as if he could read the answer from the bare air if only he focused hard enough. A large hand came to his strong chin, scratching at it thoughtfully.

“That’s what I thought too, but…” Cali trailed off, turning her gaze to Onyx. This was too close to Onyx’s demons, to the secrets she still kept. Cali desperately wanted to speak, yet she found herself tongue tied. Lost in the pain she saw in bright green eyes. Lost in her own loyalty. Could she even physically make herself betray Onyx in this way? Was it a betrayal to reveal the rest of what had been said? Internally, she pleaded, letting her emotions touch the bond between the Assassins. She needed Ripley to validate her, needed Onyx’s consent and understanding. She was falling, plummeting off a cliff with no wings to fly and no claws to cling to the stone she might be able to reach.

“She also mentioned something from the past could return to my future… well, our future.”

The moment the words left Onyx’s mouth, a soft grunt from the table drew Onyx’s attention. Ripley had managed to work herself into a sitting position, something which Cali found rather comical. The bears legs were spread apart, much like an awkward toddler, whilst her back was ramrod straight, akin to a woman forced into an impossibly tight corset. Ripley didn’t flood the bond with her words, she simply watched and listened, apparently trying to understand the responses from Wrath and Cal.

“From the past? When wer-“

“Dorran. Those weeks he increased your training.”

“WEEKS?” Cali exploded, viciously demanding an answer. Everything was red, hazy and hot, as if she’d been looking into the sun too long. Even behind her closed eyes, circles and swirls of color danced across her vision, hammering in time with her racing heart. This was worse than when she’d ridden her bikes to exhaustion or suffered sunstroke. Worse than the migraines that had occasionally followed. This was all of them at once, assaulting her body until only Onyx’s deceptively strong arm around her waist kept her standing. There was no question of whether or not she’d collapse, Onyx wouldn’t allow that, but the intensity burning through her was enough to make her remaining words slurred, gasped out between clenched teeth.

“He did that for weeks until h-” She never finished. Images assaulted her, striking her like books falling from a shelf above her head. An exhausted Onyx offering her best effort of a reassuring smile. She could take it. The deep barking voice. She’ll never learn if you don’t push her. How could she? Onyx wasn’t an assassin! She was barely on her feet. Its ok, Ripley, I can take it. Obedience… denied. She couldn’t. Not anymore. That harsh voice. Then I’ll do it myself. Go be useful. Hospital. Sirens. All my fault. All… Ripley. These were Ripley’s memories. It was sickening to realise this. Ripley had been part of it, she’d been right there and had trusted her leader. Trusted Dorran to protect Onyx. That sick man had used her connection to Onyx as a tool, had weakened Onyx with someone she loved unconditionally first… Cali’s tongue was bathed in bile, hot and thin, save for the chunks of chip swimming in the liquid. Dorran hadn’t even been man enough to do all the work himself. He’d manipulated Ripley too. With a soft snarl, Cali swallowed, refusing to let herself become any weaker than she felt in her directionless rage.

“Your abusive ex physically beat you into hospital? And caused a miscarriage? And nobody knew you were pregnant or that he was abusive? What the hell? Cal? Wrath? I though you two were assassins! How could you not realise what that piece of shit had done?” Gone was Darius’ amusement. His voice was raspy in his rage, scratching his usually chocolaty vocal cords. His eyes, which were usually dark, appeared almost black. Made of shadows and rage. He was half Wrath’s size, but the intensity of his demanding glare cowed even the brave leader, who was working her jaw in effort to find even a syllable of an answer. Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes, trailing openly down her cheeks as she allowed her gaze to fall to the toes of her bright red boots. Wrath, who was so strong, could barely stand under the weight of her guilt. Her shoulders shook, slouched in defeat. She may have been their leader. She may have been able to punch the devil out of every man, woman or child she met, but she couldn’t fight off the most horrific truth yet. She had nothing. No answer to give. No justification, even to herself.

“That’s why Vinca killed him, isn’t it? She knew about the pregnancy when that accident put you in hospital. Remind me to send her a gift basket.” Cal didn’t have an answer either, but he pushed on. His own eyes bore an unnatural sheen, one Cali quickly realised were tears. He was close to crying in his outrage. An assassin he may have been, but he was just as helpless now as when he had been possessed. Forced to watch the past rolled out in painful memories. For all the people he had saved, he was clearly struck by the potential he had failed. The possibility he had never even known about. Someone he would have loved with his whole heart, even if it was a lump of coal, and yet was powerless to protect.

“Does she know about the baby?” Wrath barely got the question out before Darius was there, snarling once again.

“Like hell.”

“With Nitsa inhabiting her? After she got my blood? We barely got Rip back, we can’t risk it. I’m not even sure if we should let Yvette know. I’m sorry, Onyx, but until Vinca is safe, I don’t want to risk either of you. I don’t want to control you, or keep you caged, but-” Cali’s imploring was cut off by Onyx’s finger across her lips, silencing her with the gentlest of touches.

“I know, you’re looking out for me. You’re not him.”

“Needless to say, Rip and I will be protecting Onyx, so we won’t be out with you. I also really don’t want Onyx combat training, or up on the highwire.”

“Cali…” Onyx playfully whined, fixing Cali with her best attempt at Puppy Dog eyes. Internally, Cali swore up a storm, using words she was sure even Darius would blush at. The bike mechanic forced herself to gaze into them, willed herself not to crumble at the adorable attempt. If Onyx was bad, how was her child going to be? The idea of baby Onyx alone had Cali cooing, turning into a pile of Oriental mush. If she hadn’t developed an immunity by the time they learned this trick… suddenly, she found herself incredibly hopeful that Onyx could be the strict parent, because Cali could already foresee ice cream for dinner. But to get there, she had to get over this current hurdle. The hurdle of Onyx’s adorableness amped up to a million and directed at her.

“Yeah, no. Sorry. Drop out Doctor’s orders. No being ten foot in the air while pregnant.”

“But the show-”

“Will be there when you’ve had your baby and are ready to return. Your health, and the baby’s health, come first, Onyx.” Wrath reminded; her tone gentle but leaving no room for negotiation. She offered a gentle smile, tears still glistening in her eyelashes. Her warmth was back, encompassing the room with a calming presence. It was enough for Cali to relax, to finally let go of everything and trust her team. These assassins were family. Onyx’s family. Her family. No matter what, she knew they would do their best to protect one another. That they’d die before allowing anybody to harm the baby. That they’d go to the depths of hell, following after Wrath’s angelic aura, to save each other. That’s just what this family did.

#answered #Anonymous #miscellaneous monday #onyx wren #onyx x mc #sin with me onyx #sin with me envy #swm envy #mentions of abuse #mentions of miscarriage #tw pregnancy #swm baby announcement

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ftcoye · 4 years

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For 2k/200, I think the Naruto fandom deserves more Karin/Hinata, and you're one of the few that ever writes content for them. I keep going feral over the sheer potential they'd make as a power couple. Like, Karin would definitely help Hinata find a way to eradicate the Caged Bird Seal. And chakra chains plus lion fist/gentle fist? Deadly.

[Ao3 Link.]

“Do you think you can do it?” Hinata asks. Her voice is hushed – barely a breath, even though the two of them are alone in Karin’s apartment. There’s enough seals plastered everywhere to keep out even Naruto, if Karin so wished it, but it doesn’t change the tension that hangs in the air, the frightening details that lay between them on the table.

Karin presses her lips together. “Maybe,” she says. Medical seals are her specialty – everything to do with biology. She picked up a lot, some reluctant some not, from Orochimaru. This, ironically enough, does fall under that category. Despite what it’s used for, it is a medical seal. It affects the wearer’s biology, is hooked up directly to their neural pathways and possibly their chakra ones as well, and that means it’s something that Karin can maybe, maybe deal with.

She looks up from the papers and meets Hinata’s eyes square on. “It won’t be pleasant,” she warns. “I’ll need a test subject, and it might be painful.”

Hinata hesitates. “Would it… would it be deadly?”

Karin scoffs at that, shaking her head and wrinkling her nose. “What do you take me for, some amateur? Painful, sure, but never deadly. I’m no Orochimaru.”

Hinata pales. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” Karin interrupts, not wanting to hear whatever apology she’s stuttering out. Mostly because it’ll take forever. “I didn’t take it like that. But don’t worry, seriously, whoever plays test subject won’t be in that kind of harm.” She’s not a monster, geeze.

After a moment, Hinata nods. “I think… Neji-nii will be okay helping,” she says quietly.

Good. Perfect. “Can you activate the seals?” she asks.

Hinata looks startled. “What?”

“Can you activate the seals?” Karin gestures at the rough sketch on the table before them, and Hinata somehow looks even more nervous.

“Um, I can…” she says, which is great.

“Perfect,” says Karin, and Hinata stares at her like she’s insane. Except like, polite about it? It’s weird. “I’ll need your help, too. I need to see how it works.”

Hinata stares at Karin for a long moment. “That’s… what you mean by painful,” she whispers.

Karin nods. “Among other things. You still in?”

She waits, only semi-patient, while Hinata seems to mull it over. “If… if Neji-nii agrees,” she says, not quite meeting Karin’s eyes. “Then I’ll help.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

---

Neji agrees.

---

“Explain it… again, please,” Hinata says, almost begging Karin. Despite the weariness she feels in her bones, she can see the terror on the other girl’s face, and she sighs.

“Neji’s got a diagnosis seal on him,” Karin says – and indeed, the longsuffering boy has a paper seal stuck to his cheek. “I want you to activate the Caged Bird Seal, just for a little, so I can get a proper look at how it’s affecting him and where it has its hooks in.”

Hinata nods, very slowly. “You can do that with the seal?”

Karin waves a hand. “And I can sense his chakra fluctuations. It’s fine, trust me.”

“Neji-nii?” she asks softly.

He meets her eyes. “Hinata,” he says, simply. “I’d rather just have it be done.”

Karin can’t exactly blame him – she’s not sure how painful it is, or even if Neji has had to endure it before, but it’s apparently bad enough to terrify Hinata and make her shake, and make Neji tense and ready. But that solidifies it for Hinata, because they both agreed and they’ll have to do it no matter what, so she might as well do it. There’s no use prolonging it.

She nods, and opens her mouth.

Neji screams. It’s horrifying. That kind of scream would be horrifying from literally anyone, but somehow it’s even worse than it would be because it’s coming from Neji.

He screams, tears springing to his eyes as he clutches his head and falls to his knees and it’s over with in less than a minute, maybe 30 seconds of it at most but Karin thinks she’s going to hear that ringing in her ears for the rest of her life, see the way his chakra ripples every time she closes her eyes.

Hinata runs to her cousin, pressing hands to his shoulders as she calls his name, frantic with worry, and Karin tries to pull herself together.

She’s seen awful things. Experienced awful things. Hell, she’s done awful things to many of the strays that Orochimaru brought home, things she doesn’t want to remember she’s done because they’ll make her stomach turn.

But she’s never quite heard anyone scream like that.

Karin refuses to show weakness, breathing in and out and then dropping to her knees as well. She pulls the seal paper off of his face, rolls up her sleeve and shoves her arm in his face. “Bite,” she orders, and shaking, he does.

---

Fortunately, the data is enough.

Karin can see where the seal has sunk its claws in – can tell what neural pathways its hooked in, see how it destroys them.

(It would take maybe ten minutes of the seal, and you could completely destroy someone’s mind. It’s a really good thing she’s never met Hinata’s father because she’s very positive she would just start swinging on sight.)

Unfortunately, she doesn’t think she’ll be able to take the seal off. It’s sunk deep enough in, burned its way into Neji’s mind, and attempting to remove it could cause major damage. That’s the case with most seals like this, so she can’t exactly say she’s surprised.

What she can do, however, is negate it. Slap another seal on top to stop any possible damage. Even if it’s activated, make it so it does absolutely nothing – that’s doable. That’s something Karin is sure she can do.

The issue here, though, is test subjects.

Karin can’t test this on people. Not that she has… qualms about it, honestly, because she’s done a lot of shit throughout the years, but she can’t exactly go testing this on random Hyuugas and possible cause them to go accidentally braindead or something like that.

One, she’s like, extremely positive that’s illegal here in Konoha. Two, it will definitely attract a ton of attention and the Hyuuga head will find out what they’re doing and put a massive stop to it, probably by rendering Neji braindead. Three, it’ll make Hinata sad as all hell and that’s something definitely to be avoided.

So Karin reverse engineers the Caged Bird Seal until she can apply it on her own and key it into her own chakra signature and promptly tests it on animals.

Wild ones, of course – Konoha has a plethora of nin animals and summons so she always has to be careful whenever she catches one, but fortunately her chakra sensing comes into super huge handy. Nin animals and summons always feel different to her, so she makes sure she’s only getting wild ones. Squirrels and birds and other things, where she can apply the Caged Bird Seal and then apply her own work-in-progress seal as well as a diagnosis one, to test and check and see how everything’s going.

That’s where Hinata finds her, one day.

Or night, actually – it fell into darkness at some point, and Karin had been so absorbed in her notes and testing that she hadn’t even noticed. She’s muttering to herself, jotting down notes in her notebook, dead bird by her foot, when Hinata walks up.

“Karin?” she asks softly, and Karin’s so absorbed in her work she almost jumps. “Have you been here all day?”

It’s when Karin has to squint slightly at her to see her in the dying light that she realizes what time it is. “Oh,” she says. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Hinata’s brow creases in concern. “You shouldn’t work yourself this hard,” she says softly. “When is the last time you had… had a good night’s sleep?”

Karin is fully aware she doesn’t look the best. She will admit it! It’s been awhile since she’s had a good night’s sleep, but how can she rest when there’s a massive group of people who could literally have their brains destroyed at any moment? God, that scream…

She has morals! Maybe not a lot, but she still has some!

“I need to get this done,” Karin tells Hinata frankly, because surely the other girl is on the same page and understands why this is so important to get done as soon as possible.

Hinata doesn’t waver. “Come on,” she says, and she holds out a hand. Karin stares at it blankly, and Hinata repeats herself. “Come on,” she says again. “We’re going to the bathhouse, and then you’re going home and sleeping.”

“But-“ Karin protests, even as she takes the hand and lets Hinata pull her up.

“No,” she says, firm. “My father won’t do anything different in a single day that he hasn’t done so many times over. If… If you don’t rest, you’ll make mistakes.”

The dead bird can attest to that. Karin grimaces, and caves. “Fine,” she says, and Hinata doesn’t let go of her hand.

---

“Do you trust me?” Karin asks.

Hinata doesn’t hesitate. “Yes,” she says.

When his cousin has replied, Neji gives a nod as well. “Yes,” he says. “If you are positive this will work, let us try.”

“Right,” Karin says, very carefully not letting her voice shake at all.

She paints her seal over Neji’s forehead – definitely doesn’t tattoo it, not yet and not when she’s not super accomplished in something like that. It’ll work, or it won’t, painted or not. If it does work, then she’s got it. She’s finished, she’s done, and they can figure out what to do from there. If it doesn’t work, then Neji’s going to be in pain very soon and it’s back to the drawing board and god, Karin does not want to hear him scream again.

His forehead looks strange – Karin’s black paint over the lines of his permanent seal, marking it and messing it, but Neji meets her eyes steadily. “If it works,” he says, “Then… we will be forever in your debt.”

He’s very serious. Karin snorts. “I don’t do debts,” she says. “Treat me to lunch or something.” With that, she glances at Hinata. “Ready,” she says. “Do it.”

Hinata breathes in and breathes out. Meets her cousin’s eyes, and she speaks.

Nothing happens.

There’s no screaming. No pain, no screaming, just the slightest chakra fluctuation at his forehead that Neji doesn’t even appear to feel. When nothing happens, Hinata speaks again.

“Nothing,” says Neji. “I don’t… feel anything,” he says, and his eyes are damp.

Hinata stares at him, and then her gaze drags over. Karin is fully aware she’s grinning like a lunatic (or like her cousin – actually, that’s basically the same thing, let’s be honest here), but can’t bring herself to care because holy shit she did it, she actually fucking did it-

And all of a sudden Hinata is kissing her.

It’s open-mouthed and desperate and overwhelming and it’s done way too quickly before Hinata is pulling back, cheeks dark and not meeting her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have- I-“

Karin is gaping, she realizes, her mouth hanging open as she stares at the other girl. “Don’t you dare fucking apologize for that,” Karin says, and she grabs her for another kiss.

It’s so much and what she’s been craving for far longer than she’d ever admit to herself, and quite honestly Karin could suck her face for literally forever but Neji coughs after a little bit. “I’m still here,” he says, but he sounds amused, and Hinata pulls back with an embarrassed squeak.

Karin laughs a little. “Right,” she says, but she doesn’t apologize because that would be a big fat lie. “Rain check, Hinata? We’ve got a hell of a lot of Hyuuga to mark up.”

Hinata takes a deep breath, cherry pink, but manages a nod. “Rain check,” she says, soft but smiling, and yeah, okay, all three of them are grinning like lunatic cousins. “Let’s… do this.”

Hell yeah.

#hinata hyuuga #karin uzumaki #neji hyuuga #hinakarin #karinhina #naruto #mexicancat-girl #not sure this is QUITE what you were asking for but???

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