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lilytakeharryandgo · 4 years

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STOP ROMANTICISING SEVERUS SNAPE - A MANIFESTO

“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a great strategist, the other one was a racist, hateful, bitter, scary bastard. Voldemort must have damaged some brain cells when killing the Horcrux inside of me.”

Now that I have Snape fans raging and screaming for blood, here’s my show of evidence:

If the boring, same argument brought up by Marauders stans is Snape being a Death Eater, I know it’s basic, but it’s basic for a reason: it’s true. Supporting Voldemort doesn’t mean you support his ideas? I’m sorry, what did he support? The Dark Lord’s contouring skills? It is a truth universally acknowledged that joining a group of racists and following them in perpetrating crimes does make you a racist and a criminal.

JK Rowling herself said that Death Eaters are an analogy to Nazis, Marauders stans are not making this up. Are you questioning what JK ROWLING said? Because you know, she is JK ROWLING.

We know it was Snivellus that created the Levicorpus. He must have used it against the Marauders in order for them to learn it. And let’s just remember that “Snape’s worst memory” takes place after the Shrieking Shack’s incident, when dear, lovely Severus tried to unmask Remus so that he could be expelled for being a Werewolf. He went down to the Whomping Willow of his own free will, no one forced him, and he supposedly knew what was happening there: he risked his own life only to get Remus expelled. Yes, it was Sirius who thought it would have been funny to lure him to the Shrieking Shack where Lupin was due for his transformation, and that was wrong. However, why did he do that? Because Snape was constantly spying on them. Was it wrong? Definitely, no one is trying to get Sirius out of this one. Still, James saved Snape in time. Did James do that just because he wanted to protect Remus? Most likely: James gave them all a family and he loved his friends and would have done everything for them, and he did. But also, he wouldn’t have let an “innocent” (if we want to call him that) die. So James saved Snape’s life, which dear Half Blood Price seemed deeply ungrateful for later, and yet, Snape constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts time and time again while using Dark Magic and creating his own dark spells (see the irony?). Stop saying that the Marauders’ actions pushed him to become a Death Eater. As if “Snape never missed an opportunity to curse James” was a lie. As if Snape wasn’t on his way to being a buddying Death Eater by his 5th year. As if Snape hadn’t came up with a curse that slices your body open by his 6th year. As if the Marauders had nothing to do but ruthlessly bully Snape all day and all night, when they actually are described as the brightest as some of the brightest students of their year despite being engaged in loads of other things like the creation of the Marauders Map, becoming Animagus, dealing with Remus’ monthly transformations (because those demonic guys didn’t leave him alone and didn’t report him to get him expelled as someone else was willing to do), James and Remus being responsible enough to be Head Boy and Prefect. Oh, and training for a war and joining the Order once they graduated. Minor things, right? Things they were busy doing in their personal lives such as surviving, living and being happy? Nah, that never happened, their entire life consisted of bullying innocent, poor service teenagers, that was their goal. Snape experienced one side of the Marauders (and we read that from his own pov, so it’s a little biased too): that is not a deciding factor of whether or not they (and especially James) are good people. He was so fascinated with the Dark Arts, even after Lily’s death and hence his presumed redemption, that Dumbledore did not appoint him as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Snape’s apologetics make it sound like the Marauders made Snape’s life hell every minute of everyday and he was the poor victim who was not capable of standing up to himself against those horrible demonic creatures, but he was the one inventing the Sectumsempra and using it against James, against George. Only a truly tormented person could have invented such a bloody spell.

So now let’s talk about Remus. Remus, a hero who fought against Voldemort and joined an anti-terrorist resistance organisation when he was just 18 years old, who fought alongside Frank and Alice Longbottom in the Order, is about to start his first class with the third years. Neville is there, of course, Remus knows his parents’ fate, how they were tortured into madness, and probably guessed that Neville’s biggest fear would be similar to what he guessed Harry’s would be. He’s probably planning on stepping in before Bellatrix Lestrange shows up, but then it’s not her, it’s Snape. Snape who insults him in front of his class, Snape who tries to shame him. Can you imagine how he must have felt? Yes, they bullied him, but his best friend James grew up, and what did he get in return? Death. Instead, Snape hasn’t gotten over himself a little and most importantly he does not realise that being a teacher also means being responsible for those children. Snape never changes: he is the same petty, angry, bitter child that he had been in school, except now he’s bullying children half his age instead of yelling racial slurs at his classmates. While Snape is one of his students’ greatest fear, Remus starts off the year by letting his pupils confront their biggest fears. Remus truly, deeply cared about his students, and wait… what did Snape do? He got him fired! But even most achingly than that, just imagine… it’s 1993, Remus is coming back after a rough full moon. He’s feeling down, he’s weak, both physically and emotionally, he’s one more time without his friends by his side, one more time alone as he was before the Marauders became Animaguses to be alongside him to support him during the roughest times (horrible people, isn’t it?). So Remus is coming back to his class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his best friend’s son is writing an essay on how to kill him. But Snape didn’t stop there, no, he told the whole Wizarding World that a man who had struggled to keep his condition secret all his life was a Werewolf. He had to withdraw from his position as a professor because of that, and straight after that the Ministry issued a law against Werewolves which made it impossible for Remus to have a job. So, to sum it up, not only he exposed him as a Werewolf, he also condemned him to live in poverty and be persecuted for that reason. Also, quoting, when Remus was trying to explain things in PoA he attacked him and said “I’ll drag the Werewolf, perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too.” James and Sirius were the kind of persons, the kind of friends and brothers, who risked their own life every month for one of his best friends. Think about this: they found out about Remus’ situation when they were just boys in their first years of school, and they didn’t leave him, they decided to help him embarking in something much bigger than themselves. Whereas dear lovely 33 year old Necrophilus told everyone about Remus’ secret and basically had him fired. Sounds angelic, why haven’t I thought about doing something like that before? That would most certainly secure me a spot in heaven!

Do we want to talk about an abusive person? Well, Snape was not just abusive as a person, he abused and took advantage of his position as a teacher (and Head of House too, to reward extra points from the other Houses) to bully his own students (even after his presumed “redemption”). He told Neville he would have given his failed potion to his toad, Trevor, so that the fatal effects of the potion would teach him a lesson. He bullied Neville to the point that he was literally his greatest fear - Neville’s parents were tortured to the point of insanity by Bellatrix, yet Snape was his greatest fear. He also condoned and took part in bullying when Draco cursed Hermione’s teeth to grow. He said he didn’t see any difference, then watched as she ran off crying. From the very start he starts bullying Harry: he perfectly knew he was raised by muggles, he knew how Petunia was and still went on to ask questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. And after calling Neville and idiot for a mistake that anyone could have made he took points from Gryffindor because Harry didn’t tell him how to do it right - great teaching strategy, let’s nominate him for Most Valuable Teacher. Harry had nothing to do with what went on during Snape’s school years, but he physically resembled James and he was his son, so let’s bully him from the very first second! And honestly, asking an 11 years old Muggle-raised kid the difference between monskshood and wolfsbane in front of everyone on the first day? There is no difference! They are colloquial terms for the same plant. He just wanted the intellectual upper hand over a goddamn little kid. But he didn’t stop there: that resentful git always tried to blame Harry for something even without proof (as most of the time), and he physically abused Harry because he was angry (“Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.”). He knew how important it was for Harry to learn Occlumency and he stopped giving him classes and later ignored when Lupin asked him to start them again even when he knew how poorly Harry’s progressed. And he was cruel: he knew Harry was sad about Sirius’ death, and gave him a detention in which he was going to see his and his father’s names multiple times while copying out old detention records. Yes, Harry’s deeds should have called for expulsion, as McGonagall states, but Snape chose something more painful than that. Not only he punished Harry (don’t get me wrong, he almost killed Draco, he deserved detention if not expulsion), but he chose to inflict him more pain and at the same time tried to ruin the memory of Harry’s father figures. Ordinarily, copying out old detention records wouldn’t be worse than writing lines, but Snape vindictively tailored that detention to inflict pain. In addition to this, he could have been an awesome teacher if he wasn’t a disgusting waste of a human being. He knew from his teen years that the instructions that the textbooks were giving were not as goos as they could be so he improved the potions and recorded his own methods at 16. Harry himself states what an amazing teacher “the Prince” is. If Snape were not such a horrible person, he could have either written the entire textbooks himself, or taught his students his own alternate methods. Instead he spent his time bullying children. He could have been great and become everything a Slytherin should have been

Snape also saw his friends perform Dark Magic on Mary Macdonald and when confronted by Lily, literally didn’t see any problem with it and compared it with the Marauders’ pranks.

He called Lily, his supposed best friend, a Mudblood. Then he tried to get away with it by saying he didn’t mean it and that she (and only she) was different from the other Muggleborns. And Lily tried, she tried to tell him he was not on the right path, she tried, and she got called a racial slur from the person she trusted the most at the time. And, for the extremist Snape apologetics in the back, who even hate Lily (how can they hate on Lily I don’t know, but apparently these people exist too): Lily Evans did not owe anyone anything. She had the right to cut ties with her friends for any reason she pleased, whatever that’s because she was sick of them or because they were hanging out with a group of terrorists wannabe. She did not owe anyone her love, loyalty or energy. She tried to be Snape’s friend despite his other group of friends (“but Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them”), but there’s canon evidence that Snape chose his Death Eaters friends over Lily’s friendship and safety. It was her choice to cut ties with him after what he and his friends had done (and the racial slur of course, truly a touch of class), and it’s not like he was a good friend to begin with: he called all other Muggleborns “Mudblood” and was canon friends with the people who wanted Lily and other Muggleborns killed, and he even still wanted to be a Death Eater while being her friend. Like, wait here while I go out and slaughter your people, Lils! And if Snape stans are still arguing that he was suffering because he got dumped, that’s another no: he did not get dumped, she just didn’t have romantic feelings for him but was trying so hard to be his friend and he was just a whiny baby about it. Is that a crime? No, it isn’t. Is not getting over it and taking it out on countless kids who weren’t even born instead a crime? Yes, it is.

Also, from the get-go we see him drop a tree branch on Petunia. That shows that he didn’t see a problem in hurting the people Lily loved (seen later in a larger proportion, that’s his tag line). Lily loved her sister, but Petunia was an obstacle between her and Snape, hence, Snape hurt her. And no, that was not accidental underage magic, just as Lily performs magic on the flower, Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even as a child he had no qualms about hurting someone Lily loved, this really serves to underscore the idea that Snape, with his so called love for Lily, was not invested in her happiness or wellbeing because he didn’t care about the people she loved. As a child he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at 20 he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and son. If he truly loved and cared for her, he would have wanted to see her happy. Not even considering how crushed she would have been if her husband and only child were dead, and she was left alone and pregnant in the middle of a war.

Okay so now let’s talk about James. Yes, James was a spoiled brat, and Lily hated him for that, then guess what? He matured, he started protecting the weaker ones and joined the Order along with Sirius, Remus and Lily to fight for a better world. He didn’t hold it against her nor did he sulk for days, he grew up and matured because he was a well adjusted human, unlike some. James Potter was many things other than an “arrogant bullying toerag” (hey, also, well done for trying to destroy a 15-year-old orphan’s memory of his heroic father): he was a friend who risked his life every month for Remus’s safety and comfort. A brother who took Sirius in and was “the best friend he ever had.” An adored friend of half-giant Hagrid, in an age when all “half-breeds” were looked upon with suspicion during the war. An all time “favourite student” of Minerva McGonagall, so much that she waited all day at his son’s future home and wept at his death. A savior of his enemies even when they were trying to expose his friends’ secrets. An activist protecting the right of existence for Muggles, Muggleborns and hybrids right out of school. A soldier who faced Voldemort three times and lived to tell about it. A caring father who went into hiding to protect his son. A loving husband who sacrificed his life for his family. A faded trace of magic still trying to guide his son when the man that killed him returned to life. A young man that inspired so much loyalty in his friends that Remus Lupin, who so feared the idea of harming people because of his condition, was 100% willing to abandon those morals to avenge his death, and would have done so, had Harry not reminded him and Sirius that James would not have wanted them to murder anyone for him. A Patronus helping Harry through his darkest moments until the very end. James had a friend facing bigotry and he became an illegal animagus to help make that friend’s life better. Snape had a friend facing bigotry and he joined up with the bigots. No one is trying to pretend that James was an angel, but he got better and better until his last breath. And again, that spoiled brat and the love of his life joined the resistance and were martyrs. James, Lily, Sirius and Remus all died for Harry. Are you trying to blame James and Lily for sacrificing their own lives to save their infant son? What terrible parents they were! Their sacrifice was an act of love and wait… actually ended up saving the Wizarding World. The only thing James and Snape had in common was that they would have both sacrificed James’s life in order to save Lily’s. James was the hero, he was the one who faced Voldemort without his wand (pretty dumb thing but he was a Gryffindor, hence no surprise) in order to give his wife and son more time to flee. When he opened that door on Halloween, he thought he was sacrificing his life so that they could live. He literally died wandless perfectly knowing he wouldn’t survive, but facing death for those he loved, hoping he would be able to stall enough time so they could escape. He was never more dedicated in anything in his short life than he was to the loves of his life: he died for Lily and Harry, and would have happily died for Sirius, Remus and Peter. And this is absolutely canon, of course it is: we might not have some explicit description of him but all we know comes from the lives he touched, how they talked / not talked about him, the pain they felt - the seven books are a testament of James and Lily’s love. James Potter was the kind of person that would have been happy to die for love, he would have taken pride in that. How do we know that? Are we making this up? No, we are not: all we have are the words of people who knew him, from his best friends to McGonagall, and who remembered him as a hero. This, albeit indirectly, speaks volume about the kind of person he was. He might have been obnoxious and arrogant as a teenager, but at 21 he died a hero - wandless, alone, betrayed, hopeless, but also bravely and out of love - and nothing can change either of those. Yes, he bullied Snape (let’s be clear here even though I highly doubt Snape did not retaliate) and that is a disgusting attitude. But how can you forgive a 31 year old man for bullying his kids and not a 15 year old boy who bullied one of his definitely not innocent classmates? Who matured and who later died, at the young age of 21, for his wife and son? How can you hate James Potter when as soon as he graduated, he was ready to fight a war against the most powerful wizard of his age? Yes, he had a big head and I am fairly certain he did actually strut - and let’s just take a moment to remember why Harry doesn’t know anything about him… oh, right, Snape went to Voldemort and told him about the prophecy - but he was a caring person, who stood up to what he thought and stood up for his friends and his family. The spoilt boy Snape’s apologetics hate, who grew up to be a great man, who died fighting and protecting, not some emo with a crush and an ego the size of the Great Lake! Wait, I hear somebody trying to bring up the “we have no real evidence of him becoming a better person” thing. Let me get this straight: James was mentioned to have jinxed other students, not to have bullied them. He did not pick out targets, it was implied to be done at random as it is explicitly stated that he jinxed random people in the corridors. Fred and George pranked other students in the same way, and they would have often have more disastrous effects, but no one calls them bullies. We know that on one known occasion attacks Snape with Sirius at his side and almost pantsed him with a spell of Snape’s own invention. James and Snape had a rivalry, and it was two-sided. It wasn’t James relentlessly hexing poor, innocent Snape, so if you still want to call James Potter a bully, okay, do it, he was a bully bullying a bully. The evidence speaks for itself: he was Head Boy in 7th year (hence I don’t think Dumbledore despised him that much), he was unapologetically a blood traitor, he dated Lily Evans (who hated him for how he was and would have never fallen in love with such a brat, so it’s pretty evident he did actually change), he joined the Order of the Phoenix (an anti-terrorist organisation, at the peak of the war, as a teenager, whereas someone else joins a racist dark cult), he died protecting his wife and child! And if we really, really want to bring the ‘evidence’ thing up… well, we have no evidence he bullied Snape, except for one little incident - I’m fairly certain he did, but let’s play it literally now. And since we are there, we may not have been blessed with more about the Marauders, but Sirius and Remus both tell Harry Lily changed his mind about James because he became a better person, why don’t Snape stans consider that an evidence pro James but “Snape’s worst memory” is their pro Snape pamphlet? That chapter showed us an incident where both Sirius and James were assholes but everyone that was there supported it but Lily. All the other Students supported it because of what the fandom conveniently forgets that Snape loved Dark Arts, disparagingly called Lily a Muggle twice, tried to expose Remus and run around with a group of Death Eater wannabes tormenting Muggleborns all through his school years (he literally says that torturing Mary Macdonald was funny - “That was nothing, it was a laugh, that’s all”), to the point where Lily’s friends and herself questioned their friendship: “none of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. I’ve made excuses for you for years.” And eventually, when questioned by Lily if he wanted to join Voldemort, he couldn’t find any way to lie to her: “you and your precious little Death Eater friends— you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You Know Who can you?”. He literally didn’t find anything wrong with Voldemort’s political position (only the fact that he wanted to kill his obsession, he only had that so called change of heart when it personally affected him as his beloved Dark Lord wanted to kill the object of his lust). So yes, he did join the Death Eaters because he wanted to and was everything he’d always desired. Does this make him a bad person? HELL YES.

And wait, can somebody remind me why the Potters were forced to hide? Wow, it must have been because Snivellus dearest spilled the tea to his master. So basically it went like this: “Hey Dark Lord! Our adorable group of racists kills Mudbloods for fun, but there’s this filthy Muggle born I fancy, can you please kill her husband and baby so that I can have her?” How the hell could he think Lily could have ever forgiven him? He was totally fine with Dumbledore saving Lily but not her husband and infant son (see how deeply he cared about Lily’s happiness?) and only cared for him being the rebound. James and Harry were totally expendable but hey, bravest man ever known!

So yes, he protected Harry (in his very own and questionable way, he did), but I’m sorry, that’s not enough. However, before someone says “in the end he cared about Harry” let me say a big, important fact: NAH HE DIDN’T. And not only he didn’t, but he also openly states that: in the Deathly Hallows chapter with the Pensieve, Snape describes Harry as selfish, self-important and arrogant - does it matter than all the other teachers like him and see none of those things? Of course not. And he’s not talking about sassy 4th-6th year Harry (who I really thank for that “there's no need to call me "sir" Professor” gem): Snape is tasing about an 11 year old who was picked on his whole life, who never had a family of his own and who lived in a cupboard under the stairs. He’s a child, an orphan (now tell me what’s that heroic about tormenting an orphan). However, Snape had decided that Harry must be bad news from the start, so he reasonably spends six years making his life as difficult as possible. That’s a great way to honour Lily’s memory, right? Do Snape stans remember what their hero answered when Dumbledore asked if he had grown to care for the boy, after all? He literally shouted “for him?” before casting a Patronus (a little over obsessive too). He felt he owed it to Lily to make sure Harry survives, and for Merlin’s sake, he did! He went to Voldemort and basically condemned the Potters. I’m not saying he is THE reason why they died, that honour goes to the lurid latrine rat, but he is one of them. Protecting Harry was the least he could do. Switching allegiances doesn’t cancel the awful actions before Lily’s death, as much as taking advantage of his position can’t be justified by his loyalty to Dumbledore. And most importantly, he cannot be redeemed by his stalkerish obsession for Lily (or by the creepy ‘look at me I want to die looking into your mother’s eyes,’ ew). All he did was made out of selfishness, even in his quest to redeem himself. Snape had a chance to honour Lily's memory, and disregarded it every single day. He claimed to regret his past, yet his cruelty to Harry was persistent and immature. Plus, loving someone doesn’t redeem terrible deeds. He aligned himself with a terrorist organisation who murdered for sport entirely of his own volition, endorsed the torture of Muggleborns, but of course, what a hero! I will never understand how people continue to use Snape’s obsession with Lily and ‘protecting’ Harry thing as an excuse for all the pain and terror that he inflicted upon small children. Does that mean you’ll excuse a father who continuously hit and emotionally abused his child and made their life a living hell if his excuse was “well I was still protecting them they had their dead mother’s eyes”? This is SICK.

And if you can still argue that “he had a terrible childhood,” that is inarguable, however, it just cannot justify him. Remus was bitten when he was 4, he had no friends until he was 11, lived in constant fear that he was going to be outed as a Werewolf, was forced to turn into a monster every month, lost everyone he loved and lived in poverty for 14 years and still managed to be a decent person. Luna watched her mother die, was picked on by almost everyone, was treated as a freak and only had one friend until she was 14 and still managed to be a decent person. Ginny was literally possessed by Voldemort himself for almost a year, guess what? Decent person too. Neville was constantly told how worthless he was, lived knowing his parents were tortured to insanity and was bullied and belittled by everyone. Decent person? Yes, right again. And do we want to talk about THE lonely kid who was abused his entire life? Sirius was raised and abused by blood supremacists, was disowned by his family, framed for murder (of his best friends, for Merlin’s sake!) and literally lost almost everyone he loved and still managed to be a decent person. He couldn't help the way he was? The environment around him conditioned him to be that way? If I remember correctly, Harry was raised by neglectful relatives, wore ill-fitting clothes, felt inadequate among his peers… Harry is proof that a terrible childhood doesn’t excuse despicable behaviour.

So, Snape hated Neville because he could have been the Chosen One instead of Harry (but it’s definitely on him for going to Voldemort and condemning the Potters), he hated Harry because he was James’s copy and he hated Hermione because she was a Mudblood and brilliant as Lily was. Makes sense, again, and again, it stresses how much of a beautiful person and teacher he was, don’t you think so? Also, had Voldemort picked Neville to kill instead of Harry, Snape would still be a Death Eater. It’s not like he thought being part of a group of supremacists and terrorists was wrong. It wasn’t until something directly affected him that he turned his back to his master - so brave, right? Snape may have done some good for the Wizarding World when he joined the Order, but while he was alive, he was horrible. He wasn't fighting the good fight because he couldn't possibly imagine a world where Voldemort was in charge (honestly, he couldn't have cared less), he was doing it to spare Lily’s life and get her for himself. James and Lily fought for the light because they believed in the light. Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history.

Wait, I hear a “there’s no evidence that Snape voluntarily murdered anyone in his entire life” over there! He joined a group whose aim was genocide and was actually one of the few members which were part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he didn’t get there by throwing kisses and rose petals around. It is explicitly said that not all Death Eaters actually bore the mark. Only selected wizards can be part of Voldemort’s circle, and not only Snape was part of that circle during the First Wizarding War, but it is also heavily implied that he passed messages from Voldemort more than once. Plus, he was also able to speak directly to Voldemort and even ask him to spare Lily’s life. Voldemort actually told Lily to move over three times before killing her, and he didn’t do that because he had such a kind heart and wanted to spare a Muggleborn’s life, he did that because Snape begged him. And maybe we haven’t read the same books, but it’s not like Voldemort strolled along Diagon Alley offering favours to random people. In addition to this, Snape did most certainly kill someone since Dumbledore compares Draco’s soul to his, meaning he has done remorseless acts of great evil before, hence his soul was already damaged, unlike Draco’s. So please, stop saying Snape was somehow influenced into joining the Death Eaters and never committed any crime: he fully believed in what they pledged and actually longed about being one of them for years (according to Lily). No one manipulated him into joining said group nor into perpetrating crimes. And no one manipulated him into being a horrible person even after he “switched sides.” He’s the one who willingly decides to be a terrorist, he’s the one who willingly decides to abuse children half his age, and he’s the one having the nerve to be awful to Harry when he’s the reason why Harry doesn’t have any parents.

And he was so childish and cruel! He threw a tantrum after discovered he was getting an Order of Merlin and wasn’t going to see Remus and Sirius in jail (even though he knew they were innocent).

There we go: HE KNEW SIRIUS WAS INNOCENT (don’t try to deny it, he was part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he perfectly knew Sirius was not the one selling the Potters to Voldemort)! Did this matter for him? Of course not! And was Snape cruel and abusive to Harry because he blamed himself for Lily’s death and Harry was a constant reminder of his guilt? Yes, he was. But you know who else blamed himself for the Potters’ deaths and also was constantly reminded of them by Harry, and yet, did not abuse him because of his guilt? That’s right, Sirius. Sirius whose death was indirectly caused by Snape who kept making fun of him for being locked in Grimmauld Place. Sirius who had no problems breaking out of Azkaban, all he had to do was turn into a dog and leave. He could have left anytime he wanted to over those twelve years but he didn’t. You know why? Because he thought he deserved to be there. It was his fault his friends were dead. Everyone could blame him all they wanted with false accusations and it didn’t matter, since to him, changing Peter to the Secret Keeper, he was guilty for his friends’ death and deserved to be in Azkaban. He only broke out when he knew Harry was in danger after seeing that filthy rat on the newspaper. And when he broke into Hogwarts? Do people remember those lines: Hermione said “It’s very lucky he picked tonight, you know,” to which Ron responded “I reckon he’s lost track of time, being on the run. Didn’t realise it was Halloween.” Please, of course he realised it was Halloween, he perfectly knew that. He went after Peter on the anniversary of James and Lily’s death to revenge them and to save his godson. Sirius might have strut as much as James during his teens but again, he turned out to be a decent person.

And think about Harry, a 17-year-old grown up in an abused “family” (and still managed to be a decent person too): he has no memories of his parents, the only thing remained is a photograph. A photograph of a happy little family, showing James and Lily in love with the fruit of their love. Snape found it and ripped off and stole the half with Lily smiling so he could pretend her happiness and love were directed at him and not at her husband and son (yes, people, that disgusting moment actually existed, and it was so creepy Yates couldn’t put it in the movies). He stole Lily’s picture and Lily’s last words from Sirius, a friend she loved, the Potters’ best man, James’ brother. How nasty. What can I say, at least he waited until after Sirius’ death to go to Grimmauld Place and raid his bedroom?

Lovely Snivellus, such a cupcake, also laughed and mocked Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus (let’s also remember that Tonks’s one was not the same as Remus’s, as stated by Rowling, before Snape stans can accuse me of applying double standards: Remus’s Patronus was a regular wolf, and okay Harry is oblivious at times, but he would have recognised a regular wolf) despite the fact that his own changed to match Lily’s - let’s just remember that THIS is obsessive behaviour, whilst James and Lily’s Patroni represent them being soulmates. Snape’s Patronus does not honour Lily, stop considering this the greatest romantic moment of all times, it does not show virtue nor morality, it’s just the representation of his creepy fascination with necrophilia. It’s disgusting, not noble. His so called love for Lily is creepy. She found happiness with another man, yet Snape was possessive, manipulative, and inarguably obsessive. And let’s remember that J.K. Rowling said that “he thought Lily would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater”… was he really her best friend or was he just completely blinded by his attraction to the dark side? This is not a redemptive love, this is problematic, toxic, abusive, emotionally-stunted, obsessive.

This is because there was never a love triangle and that’s why there is simply NO Team Snape! Not winning at the genetic lottery doesn’t justify being such an awful person! Also, THIS is why the tag line should be changed from “always” to “Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!” or to “until the very end” because a father’s eternal love for his son is much more important than a racist’s obsession of a dead woman (dead because he contributed to her death, to be precise). His always and doe patrons can’t get him out of this one. Eventually, let’s remember J.K. Rowling’s dedication in Deathly Hallows: “[…] to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end.” Not “always” nor creepy moaning, just the pure words of a hero, of a loving father who died protecting the ones he loved most.

Now, I don’t get why we should celebrate Snivellus as the hero of Slytherin and an example of the “not all Slytherins are evil” when Regulus Black died in a cave, drowned by reanimated corpses to bring about the downfall of Voldemort, and Narcissa Black straight up lied to Voldemort because she’s first and foremost a mother, ruthless in doing whatever it took to save her beloved son. Regulus and Narcissa were brave: despite their flaws they knew what mattered the most and they were two big key factor in Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise. Sure, Snape was among the three that deceived the Dark Lord, but whilst Regulus did it because he realised what was right and what wasn’t, and Narcissa did it because of love, putting her family first (plus, she wasn’t even a Death Eater, and this tells a lot about her, as her loyalties solely lie with her family), Snape did it because resentfulness. Sure, Regulus joined the Dark Eaters of his own free will and Narcissa did what she did only after having her family threatened, but since one of Snape stans’ major point in his defence is his family being abused, let’s take their family into consideration too. The Blacks were pureblood supremacist, they grew up within that establishment and yes, some members of the family rejected those arguable ‘values’ but not everyone has the courage to do that (also, every Black family member is indisputably a badass, don’t get me started on that). On the contrary, Snape was a half-blood, and still, ended up hating muggleborns - yes, don’t try to say he didn’t, he joined the Death Eaters because he believed in Voldemort’s cause. He disparages mud bloods, he joins in on their massacre as a Death Eater after having idolised them for years in school before actually joining them. Read this again: he idolised a group of pureblood supremacist, he actively helps orchestrate genocide against the muggleborns. And what is his Freudian excuse? He believed that, in so far as Halfblood, he had to ‘prove’ that he was magical and capable enough (does this remind you of somebody else who hated muggles albeit being a half-blood and eradicates his whole Muggle family?), you can see that in how he strived to highlight his maternal Prince lineage in his stupid nickname. And no, now don’t try to blame the Marauders’ behaviour for this: Severus Snape, the man you glorify, hated muggleborns and went out of his way to commit genocide against them. So, in the end, if you still deny that, despite it being clear in the books, you are being dishonest. If, on the contrary, you fully realise it and still glamorise Snape despite how horrible of a person he was, well Snape stans, you have sunk to a new low. I’m not trying to justify anyone who supported said supremacist beliefs, but at least Regulus and Narcissa were born and bred within one of the Sacred 28, those beliefs were instilled in them from the very beginning, Snape reached them all on his own (well done for embracing your nazi self Snivellus). Regulus turned his back on Voldemort as soon as he realised how wrong he had been: at age 18, he literally sacrificed himself to try and stop his master. Narcissa, on the other hand, never sworn loyalty to Voldemort: she was a pureblood elitist, yes, she was guided by pride, but she was also calm, rational and restrained where her sister was crazed and her husband was reckless. So… Regulus faced death in the hope that when when the time had come, Voldemort would have met his match and would have been mortal once more, and Cissy only wanted best for her family and did everything she could to protect her son. She perfectly knew that Voldemort could have easily killed her in a second, but she wanted to find Draco, kept a straight face as the strong woman she was and fooled the Dark Lord. And why did Snape deceive Voldemort? Oh, right, he told him the prophecy that eventually led to the killing of the woman he was obsessed with (and no, again, he did not care at all about her husband and baby), this, of course after asking him to spare her life so that he could have had her (so this is, once again, classic Snivellus holding grudges). Regulus and Narcissa are pretty much the epitome of Slytherin, and still, let’s celebrate Snape! As a Slytherin myself, I am utterly disgusted by Snape’s behaviour. He could have been an amazing teacher, he had the talent to be one of the greatest Potions masters ever, and he willingly chose to throw it away in favour of being awful for the sake of bullying his own pupils. If we have to pick characters who proved that not all Slytherins are evil, let’s look at Regulus, let’s look at Narcissa, let’s look at Slughorn and Andromeda. Slughorn fought against Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts and refused to become a Death Eater, Andromeda married a Muggleborn. And guess what? None of them bullied children for 15 years.

Then, for the “I sometimes think we Sort too soon” thing… no, just no. Before you can start yelling at me, I am not, I repeat, I am absolutely not saying this because I endorse the whole Gryffindor being saints thing. I am a Slytherin, and a proud one. I just don’t agree that Snape was brave. Is being a resentful, childish and abusive man being brave? Wow, I’ll have to refresh my vocabulary! It is not brave to bully your pupils for years because you lost your loved one, it is not brave to refuse to accept a woman loves somebody else and moves on, it is not brave to keep a childhood grudge against that someone because they ‘stole’ the so called love of your life, it is not brave to try to destroy an orphan’s image of their heroic father. Snape was burned Lily had chosen James over him, so burned that, fuelled by jealousy and envy (and by his pretty questionable ideals too, because it’s too convenient to forget he is 100% a Death Eater and hence a supporter of Voldemort’s lovely view for the Wizarding World), he struck out and ended up getting Lily killed. I don’t consider playing the martyr by “teaching” (if we really want to call that teaching instead of child abuse) and being an occasional spy being brave. I call it feeling guilty, I call it ‘I deserve to suffer for hurting Lily but I still choose to bully her own son instead of honouring her,’ I call it ‘I keep on tormenting an orphan because I hated his father and he looks too much like him, plus, he has his mother’s eyes so I’m constantly remembered of 1) Lily choosing James over me and 2) Lily dying because of me telling my beloved Dark Lord the prophecy.’ Any protection Snape offered Harry, he did it because of his penance, not because protecting him (and hence stopping Voldemort) was the right choice. Wow, how brave of him. I don’t think Snape could have been a Gryffindor at all, and I hated how David Yates (again, very conveniently for his martyr business) placed the Gryffindor scarf hanging up in the background in Snape’s death scene as a nod to his supposed bravery. Like, really?! Even if you really want to call him brave, he’s still an awful person who shouldn’t have been allowed to teach because of how abusive he was, an awful person who was a member and supporter of a supremacist, racist and violent sect, an awful person who caused the death of innocent people - and I could go on and on. You can’t let a few good deeds outweigh all the bad! It’s not like some potion or Imperius Curse made him join the Death Eaters, spill the tea about the prophecy and terrorise those children. He willingly chooses to do that because he was an awful person until the very end. And still, Snape apologists be like “the conclusion of his arc is that abusing your position of power over children is forgivable if you stalked one of their parents when you were a teen.” Again, sick.

Snape’s portrayal in the movies is entirely fan-service throughout the whole series of films, but especially in DH part 2: they never showed Sirius arriving at the Potters the night Lily and James died, they never showed the moment his whole world collapsed when he saw the corpses of his best friends, the moment he blamed himself for what had happened. No, we got an entirely made-up (and creepy) scene of Snape getting there, holding Lily’s body and crying when that never happened! We also never got a scene with Sirius and Remus evidently struggling to hold it together while they tell Harry about James, how he changed and how Lily fell in love with him. Their pain would have shown how much James had an impact on their lives, for the better, but of course, we only got a partial rendition of Snape’s worst memory, with careful cuts of course, they couldn’t say he didn’t find anything wrong with the torture of Muggleborns, right?

You can like Snape, sure, he’s a flawed character with an interesting past, but he’s not a hero, stop portraying him as such instead of what he really was: an abusive, creepy, racist man. You are allowed to like villains (who doesn’t?) but stop praising him! You don’t have to justify his actions because you like him: he was awful, recognise it.

Do we (still) need to talk about double standards? Well, there we go: people hate Lavender Brown and Cho Chang. Fair enough, pretty annoying girls if you want to hear me, but why do they get hate? They get hate for how they handle their feelings: Lavender gets hate for how she handles her unrequited romantic feelings, and Cho gets hate for crying and grieving over the death of her boyfriend. Does this sound like a thread to you? With the sole difference that they get more hate than Snape and this is disturbing and honestly just sick. He is a terrorist, he literally moans the entire series and abuses and terrorises children because he couldn’t have Lily but hey, misunderstood hero!

Stop romanticising Snape: the only reason why people love him is Alan Rickman, and all of this hatred is just a pathetic way of trying to cover up that James grew up while Snape didn’t. How can people glorify and stand up for a man who canonically is a vindictive bully? To be honest, I’m genuinely concerned for people who over romanticise such a man. Correct me if I’m wrong: do you see anyone sticking up for the Dursley’s or Umbridge, when they do basically the same stuff to Harry as Snape? How is Necrophilus any different? I will never regard him as a hero for as long as I am alive, however, the movies conveniently cut those parts where Snivellus was the half princey of baddies, right? Also, I really wish Sirius could have found out about this lovely nickname Snape gave himself as a teenager, that alone would have cured his depression, post traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism, this is a real tragedy.

Severus Snape did not die for love. He died because Voldemort thought hew was the true Elder Wand owner. I repeat: he did not die for love. Period.

He raised a wand to McGonagall!

Avada

Kedavra

#jamespotter #marauders #lilypotter #severussnape #snivellus #hp #hogwarts #harry potter #jily

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detectivedreameater · 4 years

Text

Three To Be Ready|| Morgan and Marley

TIMING: Thursday, Oct. 8th PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems and @detectivedreameater SUMMARY: This is why the town tourism board advises against evening cemetery strolls. CONTENT: Gore, Body horror

Marley was getting real tired of yelling at teenagers for hanging out in cemeteries. But here she was, patrolling through one because the precinct got a phone call about some kids knocking over headstones again. If it were up to her, they’d all spend a night or two in lock up, by themselves-- that would change their minds real quick about doing shit. Sure, it wasn’t the worst thing they could be doing, but it was interrupting her job and she wanted them to stop. At least it was nearly night, so any vampires who decided to pay a visit would surely get a surprise. Maybe she’d give the kids a healthy dose of fear, instead. Let them live out their own nightmares. Though...she knew how that felt, now. Seeing your nightmares come to life. She might have slaughtered the thing in the basement with Jane, but she could still remember it. It and the real thing. All she wanted now was to move on. Move past what happened.

When she made it to the cemetery, however, the place was completely silent. Maybe the kids had moved on, but they could have also been hiding in one of the mausoleums, which meant Marley had to go check them. She was halfway up the hill when she spotted a figure. Even through the dusk light she knew who it was. Furrowing her brow, she stopped a ways away from her. “Are cemeteries like the new clubs or something?” she said loudly, hands on her hips. She didn’t have her glasses on, but her eyes did not glow yet. Only a little bit longer. “Why do people insist on hanging out in them? You don’t happen to be this group of teenagers knocking headstones over, do you? Cause that would make my job much easier.”

Morgan was trying to convince herself that cutting through the cemetery alone was a totally fine and not at all dangerous course of action. It was like a corpse walk, but by herself! And those were fine. The ghosts on those were just friendly bystanders and acquaintances, not demented murderers still working out how zombies died. This was fine. She just needed to make it down the hill and around a few more blocks, and she would be fine… The voice in the quiet made her jump, squealing with shock. “Who’s there! I have salt!” She cried, scrambling for composure. She stumbled into the open, where she could at least see someone coming, her hand already brimming with salt crystals. But there was no one except for… “Marley Stryder?” Reluctantly, she poured her handful of salt back into its pouch. “I’m surprised you’re not a fan, Detective Edgelord. They’re really good for brooding.” She dusted her hands off and approached the officer with caution. The memory of what she’d done to Deirdre was still fresh in Morgan’s mind, but she was relieved to not be alone, at least for the moment. “If you don’t like cemeteries, Edgelord, what are you doing lurking in one?”

Marley frowned at the name. She really hated it. But she wasn’t going to show Morgan that, it would just give her fuel to use it even more. “Cemeteries are depressing as fuck,” she answered finally, folding her arms across her chest. “Why would I hang out here when I could go literally anywhere else?” She scoffed, rolled her eyes. “Hello? Police officer here,” she grumbled, motioning to herself as she headed up the path towards her. “Doing my duty and checking out a disturbance call.” But she didn’t see any over turned graves or fallen headstones. Behind Morgan there was a mausoleum, the door slightly open. A shuffling could be heard inside. Shit, were they in there again? Marley shoved past Morgan without another word, and went up to the doorway. Pulled out her flashlight, one hand on her holster, as she prodded the door open. “If there’s anyone in here, put your hands up and stand up slowly,” she called, before peering in. But the place was empty. There was nothing. “Huh…” she muttered, “I could’ve sworn…” But in the next moment, there was a noise above her and Marley looked up just in time to see something on the roof. In the next second, it was descending on Morgan.

“They’re peaceful,” Morgan said back. “And this one’s actually taken care of! It’s beautiful. The ghosts like it too. Hey, Chuck.” She waved at someone past Marley, or pretended to, knowing the detective probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. “And what disturbance?” She gestured around to the nothing going on around them. And that’s when it happened. Just a noise, nothing too conspicuous to Morgan’s ears, but as she tiptoed behind Marley, calling out, “How do you even know it’s a human or a person at all?” What if it was a vampire trying to get a good day’s sleep or relax until sundown? “See!” She said. “Maybe you scared some squirrel away or—fuck!” She was on her back, flailing under something that felt like a giant bug. Morgan covered her face with her arm, screaming. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—“ She wriggled underneath, kicking wildly, but this thing, whatever it was, was so heavy and something like a hand was pulling on her hair.

No way. No way. “No fucking way!” Marley shouted, stumbling back. “I killed you!” She was nearly frozen in her spot, one hand still on her weapon. “I fucking killed you!” But it didn’t seem to care. It didn’t even seem to hear her or see her or care about her. It was tearing ruthlessly at the zombie it had pinned to the ground. Shit. She whipped out her gun and fired a few good rounds into it, but-- nothing. It barely even moved. So she ran up to kick at it, only to be shoved out of the way and tripped. Dirt and grass filled her mouth, but she rolled quickly to try and right herself. The thing was dragging Morgan towards the mausoleum. It was making her its new prey. Did demons eat undead? “Hey!” she shouted, picking up a rock and throwing it. “There should be a-- underneath! Hit it underneath! Or-or bite it! Jane bit it and it let go of--” well, no, it hadn’t actually let go of anything when Jane had eaten through it. She wasn’t sure Morgan wanted to stomach this thing, and she wasn’t sure she could stomach watching another zombie eat this thing again. If this was even the same thing. Why wasn’t it wearing a pink hat anymore? Had been wearing one back when her and Nell had stumbled upon it? She needed something bigger, something sharper-- like the ax. She took a second to look around for something, anything-- and when she looked back the creature was nearly through the door. “Fuck!” she picked up the closest thing she could find, a larger stick, and ran straight for it. And hoped to god this would work.

“No! Fuck, no, no—!” Morgan clawed the ground with all she hand, but there was nothing to grab onto. The thing had her by the legs and waist and no matter what she did with her feet, no matter how she screamed, nothing slowed it down. Morgan could see the dark coming for her and the inhuman face flashing a hungry mouth her way as it made its shrill sound again.

Think. Do something. Do better. Morgan felt her knife riding out of her pocket and grabbed it before it was gone for good. Her arms were too short to free her legs, but she could try to get the hand on her hair severed. If she could just— Morgan screamed as something caught her wrist and bent it so far her hand turned into a limp, dangling mess. The knife was gone and the hands weren’t just in her hair anymore, they were around her face and neck, smothering her, closing around her neck. Morgan let out a muffled scream, looking at Marley for help. Any concern or intelligent thought she had was peeled away. The only thing left was, I can’t die here. Don’t let me die here.

Marley swung the stick down as hard as she could on the monster. Did it have more hands than last time? Wasn’t it just one hand last time? She blinked, and Morgan was looking at her with those big, stupid eyes of hers. And she was begging Marley to do something. Hadn’t Marley already killed this thing? Twice now? She shook the thought from her head. The stick came down, but nothing changed. The door was shutting. Marley slipped through quickly. She picked up the knife and stabbed at the thing. Kicked it. Why didn’t it want her? Wasn’t it supposed to want her? “Let go!” she shouted, stabbing furiously. “Fucking-- let go!” This wasn’t working. She jabbed the knife back down into the creature, turned and grabbed Morgan’s hand. Pulled as hard as she could, hoping she wasn’t just going to pull Morgan’s damn arm off. Then again if it did, maybe she could just beat the thing with that. She didn’t know why she was trying so hard. Morgan had been nothing but mean to her. She’d looked at her the same way everyone in her life had up until now. Maybe that was why she was so desperate to prove her wrong. “Fight, dammit!” she shouted to Morgan, kicking at the creature as she held onto her arm. “Don’t give up you stupid zombie!”

Morgan clutched onto Marley like a lifeline. Fight how? With what? She let out another muffled scream as her broken hand fixed itself. The sound was throaty and broken, crawling its way through the pressure on her windpipe. Morgan dug her fingers into Marley, beyond bruising. She was already half in the mausoleum, the dark was closing in. Morgan kicked more wildly, flailing and wriggling. I’m not dying here. I’m not dying broken and afraid. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t… With their combined weight, they were slowing down. Morgan needed one more hand to get the pressure off her neck before her head popped clean off. She opened her mouth and bit hard enough to make her jaw pop and hurt. Something snapped—was it her teeth? The creature’s fingers? Didn’t matter. The grip loosened and she was able to let out a throaty cry. “Can we shoot it?” She rasped. “What do we—fuck!”

The creature’s grip was loosening. They were winning. Well, winning wasn’t quite the right word. But the grip was loosening and it gave Morgan enough leverage to pull the thing off from her throat and Marley let go with one hand, screeching as Morgan’s fingers dug into her arm hard enough to break skin. God, why wasn’t it night yet? “I shot it like four times and it did nothing! I need something bigger, I need--” her grip slipped and the monster yanked and Morgan’s hand slipped right through Marley’s, leaving streaks of blue down her arm. “Fuck!” she whirled. There had to be something, there had to be-- an idea struck her. Marley picked up that stupid stick she’d found and dug into her pocket. Ripped off a piece of cloth from the mausoleum wall, old and dry and perfect. She set it aflame, wrapped it around the stick, and charged for the creature. Jabbed the flame directly into the wound she’d stabbed before and listened as the thing screamed with such a pained bellow that it finally let go of Morgan completely. Marley stumbled back as something hard collided with her stomach as the monster reeled and screamed and lashed out. She scrambled, grabbing at Morgan and yanking her away from the thing. Its body, just as dry and crusted as the old rag, lit ablaze as if it were doused in accelerant. “C’mon,” she called to Morgan, still tugging on her, “we gotta get out of here! Go!”

Morgan didn’t hesitate, she grabbed Marley again, hand locked on with all her strength, and ran. She wasn’t sure why the cemetery gates looked so special, like a magic barrier that couldn’t be crossed by evil, but as she ran, pulling Marley behind her, she was sure if they could make it through, everything would be okay. She would get home, she would kiss her girlfriend, she would never go anywhere without her car again, not alone, and everything would be okay. They just needed to make it. She leapt the last few paces, over a crumbling headstone and the curb, and turned the corner, out of sight from anything that might be after them. “T-thank you,” she wheezed. “I know you...definitely don’t like me...so, thank you.”

Marley wasn’t really sure what was happening. She was being dragged along almost faster than her feet could keep up with, running through the cemetery fields, leaping over headstones. She turned more than once to look behind them and see if they were being followed. But she saw nothing, and she hoped quietly she hadn’t just set an entire plot on fire. They reached the exit, and it almost felt like walking through a veil, from darkness to safety. Marley let out a long breath and bent over, hands on her knees, panting. Zombies didn’t get tired but mara sure did. She looked over at Morgan warily. “I wasn’t gonna let you fucking die....just because I don’t like you,” she grumbled through her panting. Winced when she moved her arm, pulling her sleeve up. Angry, blue streaks marked her forearm, bruises forming on her hand. She frowned. “Talk about not knowing...your strength…”

“I’m sorry,” Morgan mumbled, wincing as her windpipe expanded back into shape. “I wasn’t really thinking about moderation. I just didn’t want you to get left behind.” It was not a phrase she would have expected herself to say as recently as this morning or an hour ago, not to Marley Stryder. But when someone saved your life, you didn’t let a grudge get in the way of leaving together. Her face scrunched up with morbid fascination at Marley’s wounds. She’d never seen anything like that before. “Are you uh...okay?”

“It’s…” Marley started, then looked away, “whatever.” She looked back down at her arm-- she’d have to clean the wounds later, right now she needed to call in a possible fire hazard. Log this and make sure she came back at night to confirm the thing was actually dead this time. How many times had she killed it now? Would it just keep coming back? She needed to ask Nell to tell her everything about this stupid, fucking demon. She needed to-- “What?” Morgan had said something, but Marley hadn’t heard it. She looked over to her. “Oh, uh--” cleared her throat, rolling her sleeve back down. “Fine. Just a flesh wound. Zombieism doesn’t spread through scratches, right? That’s just TV propaganda?”

“It’s a biting thing,” Morgan confirmed. “Supernaturals can’t even be turned, they just get really sick. Although,” she smirked bitterly, “Without a really good healer they can still die, they just don’t get to come back to all the fun dissociation games and bland diet. Maybe uh, get something a little stronger than Neosporin on that, to be on the safe side.” She met Marley’s eyes for a brief moment, uncertain how to act around her now that they weren’t trying to one up each other or compete for Erin’s attention. She offered a small smile and fussed with the mud and scrapes on her arms, already healing. “For someone who’s such an asshole, you really do have a pretty sizable amount of decency in you, Marley. It’s a shame you don’t show it more often.”

“Gross,” was all Marley said. She moved away awkwardly, looking around them. The sun was finally dipping below the horizon and her eyes began to glow a soft red, but it was too little too late. Anita would probably want to know why there were scratches on her arms and Marley wasn’t sure she really wanted to explain it. Glancing back at Morgan, she furrowed her brow. “If you think not leaving someone to die is basic decency, then I guess I’d hate to see what you think is cruel,” she muttered, wiping some of the dirt off her pants. “I was just doing my job, don’t be nice to me just because of that.”

“I don’t just mean not being completely psychotic, although, you know, before the bowling alley, you kinda hand me wondering.” Morgan replied. “I just mean...I think I see you, Marley Stryder. You could stand to be less afraid of your own shadow.” But Marley was not looking anywhere near her, and was starting to seem uncomfortable all over. “Whatever,” she sighed. “Don’t get killed while you’re brainstorming a stupid lie to tell the humans at the station, huh?”

Marley gave a gallow chuckle. “Yeah, well...so did everyone else in my life.” She had finally caught her breath enough to stand up properly, rubbing her non bruised hand across her eyes. “Well, just...don’t.” It was a truth she didn’t often confront, but faced now with someone who thought her a monster and was deciding to take her word back, Marley didn’t know how to feel. So, instead, she took the out offered to her. She didn’t need to respond to Morgan, just gave a nod, before turning away and heading off. Now, she just needed to think of a stupid lie to tell the humans.

#chatzy #chatzy: morgan #three to be ready #morgan #wickedswriting

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funkymbtifiction · 4 years

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Do you have any examples of how dom Ti works in everyday life?

I don’t use it, and I do observe it in other people, so I can add a few things at the end, but I thought I’d ask my ISTP friend how hers appears on a daily basis.

She sent me this:

I work for a software company, primarily in tech support because I’m very good at troubleshooting (though I don’t like routines, so I help out other departments who come to me directly. This is technically unsanctioned, but when a co-worker needs help and I know how to provide it, I do it anyway). I’m able to use my in-depth knowledge of the software to determine not only how to solve the issue, but also, half the time, I need to figure out what is actually wrong from customer’s invariably scanty and vague description of their issue. I’ll receive tickets with statements like “the totals for 12345 aren’t right” – which could mean anything. 12345 could be an invoice number, a master account number, a sub-account, or an import ID, or inventory ID, or a user-defined value… anything, really. However, before I email the customer and ask for clarification, I can often decipher their vague descriptions myself. I know it’s something invoice related, and master accounts are the primary method of referring to invoices, so I would start there. I would pull up all invoices or account 12345, and then check to see if any have discrepant totals and/or alerts that they’re out of balance. If I find one, then at that point, I will usually send an email to the customer to confirm I’m looking at the right issue, and I don’t have to make them feel like an idiot for not providing enough info up front. I work frequently with a newer employee who tends to be very literal. He’ll tell me in frustration: "I spent two hours searching the reports for this number but found nothing.“

Me: “Did you use wildcards and part of the number?"

Newer Employee: ” …“

Me, two minutes later: "Is this the data you’re looking for?"

Newer Employee: ”…“

There’s not one way to do things, there are many ways. I can jury rig just about any process in the software I support. I find it easy to work back from the end result someone needs to find ways to populate and/or pull it out. I also tend to troubleshoot faster than my co-workers can keep up with, and if I’m training someone I usually have to slow way down. Working with detail-oriented, by-the-book, methodical people is the bane of my life. They want to go through the process from start to finish, and I can jump to the heart of the problem. But doing that breaks their way of thinking, so I prefer to work by myself. I am not a team player, not if I can help it. Other people just slow me down. But leave me alone and I’ll figure out whatever the problem is.

A Ti/Se example of how it turns up in daily life, with regards to meal-planning (ahh, perceivers… let’s just wing it!! ;):

My sister: "What should we get for dinner tonight?"

Me: "I don’t know, let’s see what the store has and decide there.”

My answer to this question drives my sister crazy. She wants to go to the store with some idea of what kind of food we’re looking for in advance. I can’t do that. I don’t know how you can possibly have any idea what to buy for dinner until you get to the store and see what’s on sale and/or what looks good. My head stays full of all the meals we would regularly make, so I know what other ingredients I would need to buy based on whatever main ingredient is chosen. If chicken is on sale, great, there are 30 ways I can make chicken quickly. Then it’s a matter of what sounds good at the time, grab those ingredients and whatever goes with it, done. I’ve got dinner. Along the same lines, my mom loves to read the grocery store ads to see what’s on sale. She saves these to pass to me… and I haven’t the heart to tell her they don’t matter to me. Even if I read them, I won’t remember which store had what when it is time to go to the store. I don’t plan my grocery store visits around sales. If something’s on sale that I use, I’ll see it when I get to the store. If it’s not on sale and I don’t need it, then I’ll pass it by. I make all those decisions at the store, not in advance. I don’t make lists either. The only exception to that is when I’m baking something with unusual ingredients that wouldn’t normally be on my radar. Otherwise, I always know what I need (there’s a running list in my head), or I’ll make it up as I go. Don’t make me plan about food before I get to the store! I’m also very good about timing the cooking of all side dishes and the main dish so that everything comes off the stove at the same time. I’m not a casserole (gross) or one-pot cooking type of person. So, when I cook dinner, it’s usually some kind of protein, with a couple of side dishes (like grilled chicken, with jasmine rice and sauteed broccoli, for example). Usually at least 2 or 3 different pots/pans etc. It is extremely rare that I won’t have all three coming off the stove within a minute of each other. I know how long things take to cook and I simply start each dish so that it will finish at the right time. I don’t really need a clock for this, though I do use timers for how long things like rice should cook, etc.

Mod Note: from an outside perspective, looking at my Ti-dom / INTP brother (who is admittedly a strong 5), Ti in daily life seems more interested in figuring things out and focusing on picking away at others’ arguments to make them all consistent than anything. It is ruthlessly logical and detached, once it knows how ‘something works’ it can work within that system effortlessly, and it often will go in without any kind of plan and just… ‘wing it’ based on what’s available, a lot like the cooking example above, but more in terms of abstract theories. They typically do not like having their thinking process challenged in the sense that they will prefer their own method of thinking / logical assessment to yours, yours probably is flawed, and therefore mine is the superior argument that I am sticking to… in part because if they are wrong and you are right, it means doing a complete mental re-haul of their logical process, which is time-consuming and might cause the entire thing to fracture. Logic is logic, and logic is what they see, and THEIR logic is how they respond. - ENFP Mod

#question #intp #istp #mbti

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riotwritesthings · 5 years

Text

Kinktober 2019 Day 17

Masturbation | Collaring

SteveTony, E, 2.4k | AO3

once upon a time, @tcnystcnks mentioned something about Tony in Steve’s shirt and dogtags and nothing else. I am easily influenced. So here we are. This one’s for you, BB!

Steve’s dog tags feel heavy around his neck. They’re not, Tony even weighed them, just to be sure, and they weight no more no less than any other set of military issued dog tags. They still feel impossibly heavy though. They felt heavy when Steve first dropped in them into Tony’s open palm before leaving on a week long mission. They felt heavy the first four days that Tony carried them around in his pocket, and they felt especially heavy when he finally gave in and looped them around his neck, telling himself 'only three more days.'

The day that Steve is supposed to come back, Tony gets nothing done. He keeps getting distracted, finds himself staring into space and rubbing his thumb over the raised words on the dog tags, his thumbnail catching on the 'R'of Steve’s name. Halfway through the day, when he finds out Steve’s transport home has been delayed, Tony gives up on being productive and stomps off to his room to pout and mope. Which mostly means curling up in bed in one of Steve’s shirts despite the fact that it’s hilariously huge on him and twisting the chain around and around and around his neck, not at all watching whatever movie he ended up putting on for background noise.

Tony doesn’t have an alert set up for when Steve gets back to the tower, because that would be sad and obsessive and clingy, which Tony is not. Except he is, he is all of those things, they haven’t been apart this long since they started dating and Tony is losing his mind a little bit. Even when he has business meetings he actually has to go to in person, Tony just brings Steve with him, doesn’t want to spend a single day without Steve’s bright smile and warm eyes. But apparently SHIELD drew the line at letting Captain America’ s clingy boyfriend just tag along on some kind of super secret dark mission. Crazy.

When Tony’s Clingy Alarm goes off his first instinct is to run across the tower and literally fling himself at Steve the second he walks out of the elevator, but Natasha might actually follow through on that threat to turn a hose on them if she catches them making out in the common areas again. Plus, he would have to put on pants. And he’s kind of already half hard, after spending a good chunk of the day in bed wrapped up in Steve-smell, thinking of all the things they should do as soon as Steve gets home.

So Tony decides on a different tactic and kicks off his boxers, sprawls out in the center of the bed in just Steve’s shirt and Steve’s dog tags, palming at his cock and quickly bringing himself to full hardness. It takes barely any effort, it's been a full week and sue him, Tony is repressed, and just the thought that in a couple minutes he’ll have Steve’s hands on him again has him choking down a soft sound, rocking his hips up to shove his cock harder into his own fist.

Steve must have asked JARVIS where to find him, because not a minute later Steve pushes open the bedroom store with an excited, if confused, look on his face, like he’s trying to figure out why Tony hadn’t jumped him at the elevator. As soon as his eyes land on Tony he freezes, audibly sucking in a harsh breath as his eyes darken and his face flushes red.

“Oh my, I forgot you were coming home,” Tony says, all mock-surprised and trying to fight down his smirk, “how very embarrassing for me.”

“You-“ Steve starts and then stops, trying to look unimpressed but it’s not really working because his eyes keep dragging down Tony's body to watch his hand move slow and lazy over his cock.

Tony’s smirk widens as his hips jerk under the heavy weight of Steve’s gaze, bead of moisture gathering the tip of his cock. Steve makes another strangled sound, eyes flickering from Tony’s cock to he dog tags laying against his chest like he can’t decide which is hotter, and Tony has just enough time to laugh before Steve starts aggressively stripping out of all his clothes and throws himself onto the bed. Tony’s laughter gets cut off by Steve’s mouth crashing against his in a series of short, desperate kisses.

“You-“ Steve tries again, one big hand sliding up Tony's chest beneath the stolen shirt as he kisses and nips along Tony’s jaw, “You’re wearing them,” Steve breathes out, sounding overwhelmed and Tony feels his own face flush slightly.

“I missed you,” Tony says, like he’s confessing to some terrible secret, but oh it’ s so worth it for the way Steve pulls back just enough to smile at him, big and bright and enough to make Tony’s already racing heart lurch hard in his chest. “I missed you,” Tony says again, wraps both hands around the back of Steve’s neck and yanks him down close enough to kiss agin, arches up to grand his aching cook against Steve’s stomach. “C’mon, sweetheart, I need you."

“Then maybe you shouldn't have started without me,“ Steve says sweetly, hint of a smirk to his voice. Tony has just enough time to think ‘oh no, I’m in trouble’ before Steve is kissing him for real, deep and hungry and all Tony can do is focus on giving back as good as he gets. There’s really no way of knowing how long they spend just laying the er kissing, hands roaming, relearning every inch of each other like they’ve been apart for way longer than a week, until Tony’s lips tingle and his head is spinning.

Eventually Steve pulls away just enough to speak against Tony’s lips as he says “hold this for me.” Tony has enough time to open his eyes and wonder what the hell Steve is talking about, and then Steve is pressing the the dog tags between his lips. Tony bites down on them on instinct, a strangled groan escaping as his teeth click against the metal. Steve just smirks at him, small and wicked and Tony groans again, sound going high and pitiful at the end as Steve pulls further away. Turns out he doesn’t need to worry though, as Steve immediately starts shoving the oversized shirt up Tony’s chest and leaning down to bite at his stomach and hips, batting Tony's had out of the way to breathe out hot over Tony’s leaking cock, making it twitch.

Tony can't beg or plead or demand, not with the metal tags clenched between his teeth, can only make muffled desperate noises that have Steve’s smirk growing before he finally, finally takes the head of Tony’s cock between his lips. Tony jerks hard, a loud whine caught in his throat as Steve continues to take his goddamn time, sucking Tony down one inch at a time, strong hands holding Tony in place as he thrashes and clutches at the sheets.

No amount of pitiful noises or flailing limbs can convince Steve to hurry the hell up, and by the time Steve starts fingering him open Tony has been reduced to shaking and making soft, wet noises around the dog tags sit clenched between his teeth. Each new finger added has Tony shuddering, trying desperately to grind himself down against Steve’ s hand or thrust up into Steve’s hot, perfect mouth.

When Steve lets Tony ’s cock slip free of his lisp with a wet pop Tony can’t help the sound that bursts out of him, nearly a sob as he thumps his head back against he bed. Steve rests his forehead against Tony’s hip for a moment, his breathing ragged as well and that always makes Tony feel a little better, knowing Steve is going just as crazy as he is.

“Always open up so gorgeous for me,” Steve breathes out, low and rough, three fingers pressing deep inside Tony, stretching him open with the most amazing ache. “Thought about this the whole time I was gone,” Steve continues, lips brushing over the skin of Tony ’s hip, down over his thigh, “couldn’t wait to get home and get my hands on you again, feel you fall apart for me.”

Tony’s mouth falls open on a loud cry as Steve’s fingers slink into him hard, jabbing ruthlessly at his prostate until Tony’s vision goes a little sideways. “Steve, honey, please,” Tony, finally, finally begs, dog tags falling down against his throat with a soft clink that's mostly drowned out by Tony’ s next loud moan. “Please,” Tony starts, then gets cut off when the room abruptly spins. Tony blinks in confusion for a second as he suddenly finds himself face down in the sheets, then groans again as Steve tugs him up to his hand an knees, the perfect amount of rough.

“Impatient,” Steve chides, like he’s not equally breathless, like Tony hadn’t seen the dark flush on his face. He pushes the shirt up Tony’s back, big hand spread wide over the dip of his spine and Tony whines. He rocks back against Steve’s hips presses up snug to his ass, Steve’s cock already slicked up and sliding against his twitching, empty hole, and every time he moves the dog tags still hanging around Tony’s neck shift and clink together.

Tony whines again when Steve doesn’t do anything else, just settles his hands on Tony ’s hips and lets Tony writhe against him. “C’mon, Steve, it’s been too long for you to be teasing me like this, you- Ah!” Tony cuts off with a loud moan as Steve shifts and the next time Tony rocks back the head of Steve’s thick cock catches on his rim, starts pressing into him. “Fuck, fuck, oh my god-“ Tony gasps out as he starts pressing himself back harder on every roll of his hips, taking Steve in further, working himself down onto Steve’s cock until his hips are pressed tight to Tony’s ass again. “God, Steve- ohhh fuck-“ Tony groans, letting his head hanging down between his shaking arms and taking deep gasping breaths as he tries to adjust to the stretch, hips still twitching restlessly, shifting Steve’s cock inside him.

“So fucking tight, Tony- damn you feel so good,” Steve groans, and Tony whimpers because Steve doesn’t actually swear that often, and when he does it’s usually because he’s so worked up he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Tony is about to get so vigorously fucked, and for a second he cant breathe around the anticipation of it. Sure enough, with one more soft "fuck", Steve tightens his grip on Tony's hips, pulls out slowly, and then slams back into him hard.

Tony wails, spine arching sharply, locking his elbows to properly brace himself and shove himself back to meet Steve's next thrust. Tony loses himself to the rhythm of it, Steve's hips slapping against his ass, punching gasps and moans out of him every time Steve's cock splits him open again, pressing so deep inside him, the quiet clatter of the tags around his neck every time Tony jolts forward.

“Steve, Steve- fuck-“ Tony groans as Steve thrusts into him harder, nearly shoving Tony up the bed with every snap of his hips, until Tony's elbows give out and Tony finds himself face planting into the sheets, crying out again as it shifts the angle and Steve's next couple thrusts nail his prostate dead on. "Steve, Steve," Tony whines, like it's the only word he knows, clawing at the blankets as every perfect slide of Steve's cock inside him drags him closer to the edge, his stomach in burning knots.

One of Steve's hands leaves his hip, but Tony doesn't have the brainpower to wonder about it until Steve's fingers tangle in the chain of the dog tags, pulling it tight against Tony's neck. "Oh," Tony says quietly, the sound nearly punched out of him, and then groans loudly as Steve hauls him upright, still fucking into him with short, deep thrusts.

"How long have you actually been wearing these?" Steve asks, lips pressed to Tony's ear, shaking the chain a little so the tags rattle noisily. Tony just drops his head back against Steve's shoulder with a loud whine, because how is he supposed to form words when Steves cock is pounding relentlessly into his prostate. "Tell me," Steve demands and apparently the fact that he's breathless doesn't stop him from using his Commanding voice, his other hand sliding from Tony's hip to his stomach, fingers creeping towards Tony's cock almost tauntingly.

"Fuck," Tony moans, throwing one hand back blindly, grabbing at Steve's hip just for something to hold onto. "T- three days," Tony admits, voice nearly a wheeze, entire body tensing up and he's close, he's so close, thrashing and writhing in Steve's hold, tying in vain to shove himself back harder onto Steve's cock, trying to wiggle Steve's hand closer to his own throbbing cook.

Finally, finally, Steve's fingers close around Tony's cock and even as every muscle of Tony’s body clenches up hard, Steve tightens his hold on the chain around Tony's neck and quietly demands "are they heavy?"

Tony all out screams as he comes, orgasm wracking through him, entire body shaking so hard that Steve has to release the chain and clamp an arm over his chest to keep him in place. All Tony can do is whimper when Steve shoves forward, bares him down flat against the bed again, thrusting into Tony's trembling body, making him whimper weakly until Steve finally comes with a drawn out groan.

Tony huffs softly in protest when Steve sprawls out heavy half on top of him, but doesn't actually try to wiggle free as they lay there and slowly catch their breath.

"I missed you too," Steve says eventually, his mouth pressed to Tony's shoulder, voice lazy and blissed out.

Tony laughs softly, finally shifts enough that he can turn his head and grin at Steve. "Oh good, I was so worried," Tony says sarcastically and gets treated to Steve's sleepy laugh. Its one of Tony's all-time favorite Steve laughs. Tony is so busy smiling dopily that it takes him a second to notice the dog tags digging into his face, and even as he lifts his head to dig them free Tony feels a grin taking over his face. "So I'm keeping these, just for the record," he says seriously, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the raised words again.

"Good," Steve says, expression somewhere between fond and possessive. He reaches out and drags a thumb over Tony's throat, where Tony can already feel the little divots left by the balls of the chain digging in, then leans in to press a sweet kiss to Tony's lips. Good."

#kinktober2019 #stevetony #stony #superhusbands #fic #fanfic

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hamliet · 5 years

Note

do you like qi rong?

I do!

He probably isn’t in my top ten characters from TGCF, but I do think he’s a well done character. It’s hard for me to dislike anyone in MXTX’s works because they all seem extremely human with complex flaws and motivations. There are a few I dislike, but Qi Rong isn’t one of them.

Qi Rong is actually fairly intelligent; his habit of always seeing and expecting the worst of people is tragic, but he also is thereby able to identify the things no one else can. As @thisworldgodonlyknows and @beneaththebrim point out here, Qi Rong identifies almost everyone’s flaws right away and even directly states the novel’s biggest twist:

He called Pei Ming a man whore, Little Pei a leg-hugging dog, Jun Wu a faker, Ling Wen a bitch, Lang Qian Qiu a moron, Quan Yi Zhen shit, the Water Master black-hearted, the Wind Master a slutty woman – he probably didn’t know Shi Qing Xuan was actually a man.

His cynicism is a direct contrast to Xie Lian’s naivete and kindness. It’s notable that the two exceptions, the two characters Qi Rong does not correctly pin down are Quan YiZhen and Shi QingXuan–both of whom are childlike and innocent. This is because he cannot really understand that kind of innocence, because he never got the chance to experience it for himself with his traumatic backstory. Qi Rong believes people are bad, and he, like Jun Wu, wants to drag Xie Lian down to his level:

“…FIGHT, KILL, FIGHT RUTHLESSLY! KILL CRUELLY! Don’t give me that saintly look as if you are so burdened with unspeakable sin! Disgusting! UGH!”

…To be able to drag the both of them to the same hell, Qi Rong was filled with rapture, his eyes shone brightly, “See! There’s your true face! Cousin Crown Prince, who knows you better than me in this world? … Or are you gonna tell me loudly that this body is innocent, so you won’t kill me in order to spare him? Come! Show me what you’ll do!”

At first I was concerned that Qi Rong’s sad backstory with his abusive father was done to “bad victim” him (in contrast to Xie Lian, who grew up in privilege but with a cold father, or Hua Cheng, who was also abused). But that’s later completely unpacked when Qi Rong is given the chance to become a dad to Gu Zi. He’s not a perfect dad, but from what we see he actually treated Gu Zi better than his biological father. In this way it shows us that even though Qi Rong started out as a bitter, petty, selfish, and mentally unbalanced character, he was still capable of being a good dad. In that way it illustrates the theme in TGCF that everyone is capable of becoming a better person–it just takes an act of kindness. And yes, Gu Zi’s clinging to Qi Rong when Qi Rong feels enraged that no one has chosen him (his anger with Xie Lian comes with Xie Lian not prioritizing him because no one ever had) softened his heart to allow Qi Rong to protect a bit of innocence in a literal child.

Qi Rong’s death is a sacrifice that MXTX presents in a nuanced way. MXTX never endorses self-sacrifice in any of her works (think of Su XiYan failing to save her lover and thus BingHe winding up alone, Jiang YanLi’s sacrifice only leading to her brother killing the one she gave her life to save, Wei WuXian’s self-sacrificial nature caused more problems than it solved, etc.) He dies for Gu Zi, taking Gu Zi’s biological father with him. His death fixes absolutely nothing, but neither is it meaningless, because Gu Zi is alive then. It’s the circumstances that were unfair and unjust. But, Gu Zi is then cared for by Lian QianQiu.

For more reading I highly recommend @beneaththebrim‘s meta on Lian QianQiu here!

#ask hamliet #qi rong #tgcf meta #xie lian #jun wu #hob meta #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #mxtx meta #mxtx #Anonymous

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monstaxardeur · 4 years

Text

Warnings: Angst

Your head was buried in your hands while you stayed on call with a good friend who had heard your rants regarding work and you'd been in tears. Everyone has rough days, you knew this would pass too but in that moment you were angry, hurt and just wanted a break. You hung up and started to finally drag yourself to get a change of clothes when you saw your phone buzz again.

2 missed calls- Danny.

You picked up on the third ring and tried your best to sound like as if nothing had happened but of course some of the emotions seeped through.

"Hey are you home today, can I come over?" He asked rather casually and normally you never minded, apparently you had become his low maintenance friend, someone who he could drop by over at and just share silences with. Sometimes he would talk a little, ask the most dangerous questions, other times there would just be conversations like, 'is the wifi not working?', 'where's the beer?' or 'hellos' and 'good nights', that's it. You were closed up he knew that, he read that energy off of you ever since you two befriended each other but you never denied him company, it was no lie you were extremely fond of him, he was your new little crush, okay maybe more, still a secret none the less. Its all too common how one feels with crushes, you want to be their best friend, be their buddy except this wasn't high school and you were an adult to carelessly act on dumb impulses. Instead you became the next best thing, a safe space, almost like that one cafe where you go to work or unwind and befriend that one employee or owner, you were that space for him. You were always working away on your laptop, as budding designer, artist and author you were always glued to your computer. Sometimes you wouldn't even know if he called you out because of the music from your headphones. As much as you wanted to look perfect for him, with time that too dissipated, he got used to your mismatched outrageous home attire and that single view of your back to him. That was your only sign of existence in that apartment, he'd be engrossed in work or a phone call or an argument with a fuck buddy or whatever but you stayed the same, unphased. You had spoilt him, a lot in those terms but then for the first time you turned him down, first time in 3 months of him dropping by to your place.

"Uhh not today Changkyun, I am a little preoccupied, really sorry." You excused yourself, on top of that you called him by his name properly, you never did that on call. Something was off he could tell.

"Yeah sure it's cool, I'll call you when you're free." He replied and you said your goodbyes hanging up. If you were honest you were a little relieved to not have anyone over, even Changkyun. He was like a silent cat but still a presence in your apartment and right now you just wanted to be alone, isolation could be a friend and you missed it. So you showered and changed and just crashed in bed not caring about any client calls or work or your morning job because you had just quit.

When you came to it was because of an incessant bell ringing, you rubbed your eyes and it was one of those moments when your eyes just wouldn't open and it lead to a migraine spiking slowly. You groaned rubbing your eyes a little more unsure if you were hearing things and then the door bell rang again. You were up on your feet glancing at the clock and shuffled your way across the room.

Changkyun pursed his lips and looked worried as he tried dialing your number and raised his hand to ring the bell again when you opened the door.

"Oh hey, you're alive." His expression softened and he was relieved you were okay.

"Changkyun it's almost midnight." You complained a little but opened the door wider for him to help himself in. He glanced around your room and noticed it was unkempt and your computer was off and he asked, immediately sensing something was not right. "Is everything okay? You seem out of it today." He asked rather cautiously while reading your behavior. You shrugged off the discussion but five minutes later and you were spilling the tea about all that happened at work and you were pissed. He had noticed on a number of occasions that someone as docile, (according to him) and generally just a nice person such as you would become a no filter snarky, sassy bitch when pissed off and or exhausted. You always had it tamed but today he was really enjoying this side of yours. "So what's up with you?" You steered topics, "I ended it with the fuck buddy." he stated bluntly taking a swig of his alcohol. "The boy or the girl?" You asked amused as always about his lifestyle and whereabouts but you never judged and he really appreciated that about you. "I wasn't fucking the dude, not yet at least, that was just an infatuation until I realized he's a toxic moron, and I meant the girl, I think she wants to settle down." Changkyun acted like he didn't care but there was a hint of heartbreak that showed even if he tried to guard it.

"You'll be fine, you'll live don't worry, you made it this far." You assured him rather casually not wanting to open up his wounds and gently patted his thigh. You got up to walk over to the kitchen and he asked feeling a little burdened by emotions and swayed by the liquor.

"Don't you get tired of me? I'm always hanging around you like a shadow."

He saw you sigh stirring your coffee, "Listen you're no exception, I'd do this for any of the friends that I cherish and yeah I admit I am fond of you so it's no big deal really." You stated as a matter-of-factly but boy did it hit him the wrong way. All of a sudden he felt like he wasn't the special one in your eyes, he always thought he was, he was sure of it but right now your statement literally plummeted him to the ground making him realize he's just another friend you cherish, nothing more. Why did it unsettle him? He was getting stubborn, he wanted to know the truth so he did what he promised himself he wouldn't. "So tell me about that crush of yours. Any progress?" You didn't make much of how he stirred the conversation, it was classic Changkyun as you knew him. "What crush?" You asked knowing very well where this could lead. "You know the one you mentioned is always brooding." He smiled slyly under his hoodie, "Ugh he can't be changed too bad I adore that fuck." You retorted and he got up from the couch feeling he had you where he needed. "I have a few guesses." He spoke and you internally cursed him, "Hah been there done that I'm not playing that game EVER again." You replied straight up.

"Is it me?"

Those words hung heavy in the air as he inched closer, "You know I'm not him, I don't like mixed signals either, so just fucking say it. It's me isn't it?" For the first time that day you were silenced, you didn't know how to handle the situation and the more you stayed quite the more obvious and awkward it got, the tension grew just as thick and you really wished he'd disappear. You wanted to be alone, so fucking alone because that seemed to be the only comfort compared to this situation. He knew he'd done it and realized he had to break the tension, "Care if I bunk here tonight, your couch is really comfy ya know." He tried to act casual as if he didn’t say what he just said and you just nodded with a polite smile. He observed your behavior again, you put away your coffee and pretended to clear up the already spotless kitchen before retreating to your bedroom. You didn't even bother to get him a blanket or anything you were so out of it and the guilt slowly set in him. He shouldn't have approached you like that he realized, he had pressed the wrong buttons.

The night had seemed heavy and he was up at the earliest light of dawn, before leaving though he peeked in your room before carefully walking in to kneel by your side. Tear stained cheeks he noticed with your head partially buried under pillows. He was guilty for his behavior, if anything, crush or not you were a cherished friend and friends don't do this to each other and most of all you were his safe space and he'd torn you down ruthlessly.

He was guilty...

And so he placed the softest kiss on the side of your head, gently lingering but soft and swift as to not wake you up. A chaste kiss that spoke a meaningful 'I'm sorry' to you and he was gone then. Your apartment was empty and you awoke blinking away a few tears, you'd felt it, your sleep had been restless too and you had been awoken by his sweet kiss. You didn't think Changkyun of all people would have a healing touch..~🥀

#monsta x #i.m #changkyun #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #low maintenance #recuperer

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zukofenty · 4 years

Text

off the grid

➜ Summary: The one where Katara is a spoiled heiress who manages to crash land on a (cute) soldier of one of the most dangerous nations in the world.

“Get your face out of my vagina!” Katara screams at the top of her lungs.

“Here’s a thought, get your vagina out of my face first!”

➜ Genre: Modern!AU, humor, CEO!Katara, Soldier!Zuko, Crash Landing on You!AU

➜ Words: 10.3k

AO3 @zutaramonth

“Get your face out of my vagina!” Katara screams at the top of her lungs.

“Here’s a thought, get your vagina out of my face first!” Zuko yelps, words gargling. He currently was being suffocated by the crotch at his neck. After Katara’s many screams, and a swift kick to his face, they both scrambled off each other, laying on the ground for a quick moment of relief. Her body is aching after throwing herself from the tree she was stuck in.

After realization set in that he was a soldier who was just nearly crushed to death by a cooch, and she was a woman who somehow crossed impenetrable borders, they swiftly were both upright. Katara in a fighting stance, and Zuko’s gun automatically pointed at the girl’s face. Her eyes nervously darted around, looking for any escape route in the expanse of wilderness and trees and furry animals she sure were foaming at the mouth, looking for a bite of gorgeous heiress who smelled of Chanel No. 5.

“I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” Katara screeches, taking off as fast as her Yeezys could take her.

“Um, yeah I can !” He insists, shooting into her general direction. He wasn’t trying to kill her persay. Maybe maim. (It just would’ve been a lot easier if she died).

“Fuck!” he screams, once the girl was out of sight.

Last week, Katara was cyberbullying Debby Ryan from the comfort of her penthouse. One of her larger concerns of the week was debating buying the rights to all of her Disney Channel movies, just because she felt like it. Then, she could post clips of her disturbing, Radio Rebel smile every day on Instagram without copyright claims and she could blissfully ignore Debby Ryan DMing her a defamation lawsuit.

She had money money . Like being able to turn on the AC during the summer type of wealthy. The type of rich that could sing John Lennon’s Imagine during any crisis and say that’s enough activism for today . After all, she was an heiress of one of the richest families in the Water Tribes—a nation at the forefront of nearly every cultural conversation. In the past, every other nation out there doubted their abilities based on size alone, underestimating the tribes’ growing force. Once a nation surviving on simply hope to prosper post 100 Years War, they were now a cultural powerhouse you couldn’t ignore if you tried. From their dramas, skincare routines, and exquisite cuisine (two-headed fish soup and all), the nation was suddenly the talk of the entire world. They thrived under people’s ignorant assumptions. Blossomed despite people’s mistreatment of them in the media. Soon enough, those who questioned their authority were begging for alliances.

Except for the Fire Nation. A nation stuck so determinedly in the past. Notorious for their inability to move on from the world of centuries ago. The world where the Fire Nation was a dominating force. While every nation competed to innovate, the Fire Nation seemingly refused to accept reality. Their borders were violently closed off. Their trade was limited to working with the Earth Nation every once in a blue moon. Refugees who manage to escape tell stories of a cruel life seemingly stuck in the stone ages. Their leader, Azulon, threatens to bomb somewhere, something, someone every other week, and every nation’s relationship with them has remained precariously in the air since then.

“What the actual fuck !” She screeches. “I thought this was one of those national parks joggers find bodies in, not the fucking Fire Nation !”

Dead or alive, people weren’t allowed to make it out of the Fire Nation.

Katara was a stubborn CEO. The kind to only accept things by her way, by her standards. Coming from money didn’t mean shit when you didn’t have the raw hunger she had. She wasn’t like many of her peers. She wasn’t content with just sitting back and signing a few papers once in a while so she could make it to her SoulCycle class. But, she’d like to think that’s what made her so successful for the last decade. Katara was insistent on testing her clothing company’s new batch of athletic clothing. She scaled a mountain range in the sweat resistant hoodie. She swam in Olympic sized pools in their innovative, competition ready swimsuit and swim cap matching set. Of course, it made sense to test their new paragliding uniform. At the time.

“ Don’t move. This field is full of landmines,” Zuko warns, putting out his hand to stop the shaking girl. He sees it in her eyes, the way she’s about to run after he’s managed to catch up to her, and unknowingly blow this entire shit up. “They’re grey and round, or shaped like a box that—”

“Like the one you’re stepping on, right now?” Katara smirks, hands coming to her hips to taunt him.

He freezes, hands coming out to balance himself at the edge of the stream she’s managed to leap across.

“Again, I am a bad bitch. These won’t kill me. You won’t kill me.” She snatches his walkie talkie from his jacket’s pocket, and thinks about just taking it and letting the guy who almost fucking shot her suffer. She decides against it (she didn’t want to get on God’s, or Rihanna’s, bad side today) and sets it down on the ground in front of him. He’s left to watch her expertly leap around a few stray explosives.

“If ‘bad bitch’ means missing a few limbs, sure. Go ahead ,” Zuko baits. She happily gives him the bird, before running as fast as she could in her Yeezy Boost 350s. Running even when she hears gunshots whizzing past her. Running even when she sees a sign, warning about a field of landmines.

She runs until her vision becomes blurry, and all she can hear are little children chanting a song about the Fire Nation’s greatness. She runs, even when her body feels like lead, and her eyes are a hair’s breadth away from shutting.

He doesn’t know why he helps her. Why he wants her to get out of here alive. Why he scoops her up once soldiers began flooding the village she stumbled upon. They were making sure everyone was doing their part in singing the national anthem before the enforced curfew. She should’ve been shot to death by now by his men, or at least mauled by a wild lion vulture.

He just doesn’t understand it. Their forces were meant to kill , trained to shoot anything at the border on sight. He doesn’t understand how this five foot nothing girl had outrun men who have trained in the military for nearly their whole lives. His army was sloppy that day. Most of them were still drunk off of whatever cactus juice and homemade wine combination the ladies at the local village had offered to them. Then again, it wasn’t every day someone decided to paraglide during the biggest storm of the decade. It wasn’t every day someone managed to cross into the Fire Nation, when no one wanted to be there for decades .

He doesn’t understand why he pulled her close to his body at the sight of the military’s trucks, and runs them into his house at the edge of the hill. He doesn’t understand why he spent the last three hours painstakingly cooking up noodles from scratch for her. She takes a quick nap on an old sleeping mat he found while he works diligently. His stomach protests the fragrant aroma. He hasn’t eaten a homemade meal in months.

“People literally steal and sell my pubic hairs on eBay. The average price is one grand for a single strand. I deserve better,” Katara says. He thinks it’s completely in jest. She cackles when he glares at her. The smile she sends him tries to relay that she's grateful, but he’s hardly swayed by her charms. Instead, he’s scoffing at the efforts.

A first for her.

She’s used to getting her way, as an expert at manipulation. When you’ve spent your whole life ruthlessly competing to run one of the largest corporations in the world, you couldn’t afford to be sweet or gentle or genuine. You learned to work people, bend them to your will until they snap. Then, you move on. Find someone else, do the old song and dance again.

Before she could even lift a chopstick, Zuko quickly grabs the bowl from her grasp, a pout forming on his lips. While he was always taught to school his features, he always knew he was no good at it.

“I will continue to do what I’ve been doing for the last two hours, and just ignore everything you’ve been saying,” he mutters, sipping at the broth to her dismay. The second she walked in, she called his house “a hut with a dick in it.” When he instructed her to take a shit in the outhouse, she didn't speak to him for the next hour. He thinks he saw her tear up when he mentioned there was no Internet. He swears he was ten seconds away from busting a vein.

“ Ugh . Room temperature water?” Zuko guffaws once her nose crinkles up in disgust.

He blows a stray strand of his hair away from his face. “There are no ice cubes.” She hates how everything he says is so matter of fact.

“Get some, then.” she says, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. “I don’t drink ice cube-less water.”

He just laughs. “Right, when we get any sort of electricity first, I’ll make it my number one priority to get a fridge that dispenses ice cubes engraved with your perfectly detailed portrait on them, too.”

Katara shoves at him, and he just stares at the spot on his chest she touched. “For future reference, I am vegan. Well, vegan adjacent. But still. The point is I am a delicate flower with an even more delicate diet. A delicate flower that’s used to caviar and organic shit and the rich people gluten-free bread you get from Trader Joe’s. So I’ll excuse it this time, but the next time you make something please remember.” She follows up the command with a sweet smile, as though it made up for her demands.

The memory of her dodging bullets with a branch in her hair easily comes up in his mind. “Nothing about you is delicate.” Zuko barely budges when she tries reaching for the bowl again.

Katara gasps. “Even my bowel movements are delicate!”

He just snorts.

She’s annoying, he decides. All brattiness considered. Even with her tiny frame drowning in her dirty paragliding uniform, and a pout that has him wanting to laugh. The way she moves is dainty, with the self-assurance only those who grew up in comfort have. But, something about her eyes reveal something crueler, something so much more vicious underneath the soft exterior.

He was thoroughly out of options. While he has her holed up in his house until they decide an escape route, he feels his stomach churning at the thought of the Fire Nation’s regular surprise house inspections. Turning her over to the government meant a quick and easy execution for him and his men without question, and the potential to cause even more political strain with the rest of the world. Even if they do hand her to the government, there’s no telling what they would do to her.

He tries to blink the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing at them as thought it could end the nightmare he found himself trapped in.

For the last few years, Zuko’s life was a monotonous routine.

“Type 63 Rifle, Soviet SKS carbine,” Zuko breathes, ears perking up at the sound of the weapon. His hand comes out to halt the hordes of men. “One of us. Retreat,” he barked, arms motioning for his battalion to return to their hidden positions among the dwindling flora and fauna. Months in his uniform without rest, months spent guarding the border to ensure no one left.

He doesn’t remember much about his life before this. He tries to forget, because it made him too sad. It made him want to do something reckless, to break something, to even cry , because he’s long forgotten anything but getting up, getting into uniform, getting into routine.

It was his duty, as the only son of the Fire Nation’s notorious military director.

He was trained to be a war wielding machine. To show no mercy. Men in the Fire Nation weren’t meant to be weak . They weren’t allowed to be soft.

His mother tried to get away from all of it. She tried as hard as she could to tell her children there was a life you could feel beat with all of your heart, as long as cruelty didn’t find it first. She knew Zuko wasn’t meant for this life.

Zuko knew, too.

He was never good at anything, never the best one growing up. While he excelled at delivering blows, or wielding his swords, he was always told his mind was a pathetic thing. Too brash, too naive. Azula was always the better one at that. At violence. She was their father’s right hand, her thoughts filled to the brim with genius strategy. Always one step ahead of everyone else, even as a toddler.

Zuko was content to be in the background, to be nothing more than a decoration when the family portrait needed to be taken. He wants to be selfish, to blame Azula for pressing pause on his life. The day she was assassinated was the day his dreams of forgetting the Fire Nation all but shriveled up. After all, tradition mandated the military director had a blood successor.

“I am not going to put back on my dirty underwear after I shower! I am not a Bhad Bhabie type of bitch,” Katara indignantly spits out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Zuko rolls his eyes. Everything she says is confusing .

“Don’t act up while I’m gone,” Zuko begs.

“Like the City Girls?”

She feels her blood boil at his silence.

“Please tell me you’re lying. Please tell me you’ve heard of ‘Act Up.’ Please. Don’t let me down now.”

“I have no—”

“Seriously, where were you all summer? ‘Act up, you can get snatched up?’ Nothing? Nothing rings a fucking bell?” He can’t help but sweat.

Even when he looked up whatever she says on his work computer (the only time people in the Fire Nation were allowed to use the Internet) he still can’t wrap his head around what exactly a Bhad Bhabie was.

“Then don’t wear underwear. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

She holds the landline phone close to her mouth, as if to make the message clearer. “Where will the pussy juices go then!”

Zuko hangs up on her, only to have her call him precisely 12 minutes later.

“My right nipple is chafing. What about my nipple eczema!” She protests. She feels her face shriveling up. Without her Yves Saint Laurent Firming Serum, she feels like a piece of her identity was missing. He had diligently informed her to use his sole bar of soap for all purposes before he left for work, and she nearly fainted on the spot.

“Tell it to go away, I guess?” Zuko suggests, trying his hardest to sound helpful. He tried leaving detailed notes on how to take a hot bath by pouring boiling water in his basin, and clipping the plastic shower curtain to the ceiling, trapping the heat in. He prays she hasn’t burned down his house, or someone hasn’t seen her through the gate.

“I can’t!” Katara seethes.

Zuko rubs at his temples. “This was meant for only emergencies. Goodbye !” Zuko slams the phone, returning to his paperwork. He feels a hot blush spreading across his cheeks, and tries to bring his hand up to his face to alleviate the warm feeling.

She doesn’t know why he’s so nice to her.

When she’s all but threatened him and blackmailed his entire crew to keep their silence and help her escape.

She simply laughs, the sound foreign to even her own ears. Her empty stomach painfully clenched in protest at the sudden sensation. It had to be some sort of sick joke. A sick fucking joke probably crafted up by Pakku! Or some of those man-children from the Northern Tribes who think they know a thing or two because they took a Marketing 101 crash course on Khan Academy!

She needed to get back for the big shareholders meeting. They were going to announce the new CEO of Moon Tech, the largest corporation in the Water Tribes. It was everything she had been working for her entire life. She couldn’t afford to miss it, lest it show any weakness whatsoever. As the most viable successor, she was sure all eyes were watching her every move. Yet, somehow, she managed to end up on the set of a period piece gone wrong. A miserable, yet probably Academy Award winning, period piece that smelled like moose knuckle pussy pickle.

She looked to the closed door, the flimsy thing separating the minute living room from his even smaller bedroom. She felt guilty for misjudging him upon their first meeting.

She thinks she feels more guilty for breaking his favorite vase.

“C’mon! That was my favorite ficus,” he grumbles, rubbing the spot on his head she broke the vase on. He avoids her gaze because she’s clad in one of his old dress shirts and nothing else, the thing coming to fall at her knees. If he blushes any harder, he thinks she might notice. Her hair is wrapped up in a messy updo and her face is scrubbed clean. The faintest tint of pink dusts across her cheeks.

“Sorry,” she whispers, hand coming to rub at the spot. She was nervous hearing someone wiggle the doorknob when he hadn’t come back well into the night. Why he had three locks on his door and used exactly none of them, she wasn’t quite sure. She thought she was being helpful by locking his doors. Until it was becoming apparent he didn’t care enough to carry his keys with him, and had an additional unlocked back door he was just attacked at.

He swats her away swiftly, body mechanically programmed to attack for coming so close to him. He’s body slammed bigger men for breathing through their mouths. But something stops him abruptly, and he stills when she comes closer, roughly grabbing at his head between her two hands, and bringing it to her eye level. “A slight bump will form, but it’ll go away faster if you soak some rice and press here,” she precisely finds the swelling area. He winces when he feels the pressure.

Her eyes are impossibly wide while she watches him, and he can’t help but shrink at her careful stare. This was the quietest she’s been since she crash landed. He feels unsettled. “I—I got you some stuff.” He places the bag gently in front of her, a now familiar flush coming to pepper his cheeks. “I’m going to go to bed now,” he lies, retreating to his room while still rubbing at his head.

“Thanks,” her voice is barely a whisper, and stops him in his tracks. He turns to her, and her smile is so genuine. Her eyes are swelling with joy and it makes his heart ache. It seemed easier to talk to her that night than in the day. There wasn’t an impossible front to break open to see how she was feeling, the moonlight peeking through the cracks in the wall seemed to make her eyes wider, smile brighter even. Her guard is down and it makes emotions easier to decipher.

She thinks she can’t feel her face when she opens the bag. “I’m such a bitch,” she babbles to herself as she opens the boxes of shampoo, conditioner, and even signature Water Tribe moisturizers. Everything she complained about he managed to remember to a T. He even got her some traditional Fire Nation women’s outfits, even when she was only staying for the next couple of days. The tears pricking at her eyes feel foreign. She could afford private jets to fly to Beverly Hills and start a fist fight with Kim Kardashian just because she hit Kourtney in season 18. A couple dollars worth of smuggled products shouldn’t make her a weepy mess. Somehow though, she feels herself unable to dim the smile plastered across her face.

Zuko wants to jump for joy. Though, he resists the urge when getting up too fast makes his head bump feel like it has a second heartbeat. He spent the better part of his evening at the open air marketplace a few blocks from the village. It was worth enduring the questioning glances from the shop vendors. Even when he felt like crawling in a hole and dying as he hastily gestured he wanted to purchase women’s underwear, it was all worth it when he’s lulled to sleep to the sound of Katara’s giggles.

“I think he just smiled.” Mako whisper-screams. Nearly all the jaws in the mess hall drop open.

“You’re lying ,” a voice squeaks out. The dozens of heads seem to collectively turn towards their captain. Their stomachs churned at seeing living proof of the small smirk on his face. He’s distracted. Staring off into the distance, he’s just picking at the meager helpings of his lunch on his plate.

For all intents and purposes, Zuko was boring . He was a stick in the mud, the kind of guy you saw laugh once or twice a year for obligatory purposes, just to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t a robot assigned by the government to spy on soldiers.

He was a captain who delivered orders, and nothing more. A strict, by the book kind of guy. The team knew little to nothing about him. They weren’t even sure he used the bathroom like a normal human being (half of them were betting money on the robot theory). They just weren’t close like that. They weren’t the type of team to be able to joke around with their captain, share their stories, bleed their heart out on the military field. They knew the scar on his face meant he had pissed off some higher ranking officials who still possessed the power to firebend, a sacred art limited to the few. It meant there was more to the story than just a bumbling captain of a lower ranked crew. The most they got out of him was once in a while he would startle a young kid, who was just trying to get his mandated service over with. He’d clap them on the shoulder and would murmur a low “Good job.” (His definition of keeping up team morale).

He was efficient at his job, and good at keeping his men safe, rarely raising his voice to anyone except maybe himself. More than what they could say for other captains. He was hard on his men, but harder on himself. It was rare to see him doing anything but stress .

Smiling ? Simply out of the question.

He couldn’t help it! It was an automatic reaction to the morning he had.

“Thank you, for everything,” Katara says quietly, placing the tray of food on his night stand. She knew he had to get to the military base in the wee hours of the morning, and also knew she wasn’t going to wake up in time without her vibrating mattress alarm clock. So she pulls an all nighter, and tries to figure out how to use the tools and contraptions at her disposal. She didn’t mean to startle him, she swears. She has to stifle a laugh when he wakes up with a start. Eyes slowly peeling open, the eye crust obstructing his view. His hair is facing every which way. He looks younger, somehow. The messy hair, the wrinkled shirt, and drool he makes a quick job of wiping away.

“What’s this?” He peers up at her curiously, placing the tray in his lap.

“My labor of love.” She insists, sitting even closer to him on his bed. She thinks she likes it when he squirms under her gaze. For all the military get up with metallic shoulders, and the endless medals pinned to his uniforms, he was just a boy under it all. “I know, I haven’t been the most...easy guest to have.” She ignores his snort. “After all of this over, after the Fire Nation opens up its borders again, I promise you. I will pay you ten times what this hut with a dick is worth. Because…” she breathes in, looking unsure of herself. “I’ll never forget your kindness.”

“T—Thank you,” he stutters. He thinks they’re empty promises, but doesn’t try to question them too hard. It shouldn’t be possible for his heart to pulse as fast as it does, but it seems to be mesmerized by how much wider her smile was able to get. The noodles are misshapen, probably because of her inexperience with the old-fashioned machine. The broth is salty and makes Zuko’s throat beg for a glass of water. And yet, he slurps up the entire dish without complaint.

Anything to see her eyes light up.

“The first boob I ever saw was in Titanic . Haven’t seen one since. Waiting for Titanic 2 to come out.” Mako says proudly, puffing out his chest. He hoped his extensive knowledge of non-Fire Nation films would entertain Katara. Zuko’s few trusted men (mainly the ones who were responsible for letting her escape in the first place) were instructed to keep her safe while he sorted out the plans for her escape. Iroh was able to set up a clandestine arrangement with a ship leaving the Fire Nation docks for their semi annual pickup of Earth Nation goods. They were hoping she could sneak through to the Earth Nation, and explain her situation with customs there.

“Buddy, I got some news for you.” Katara smirks, and the boys grow nervous. She was pretty. The type of pretty that made people stare, wondering if it was possible for someone’s eyes to twinkle in the sunlight. She looked like one of those celebrities in the movies he loved. Talked like one, too. In the Fire Nation, she was the type of pretty where guys would be bartering an entire village just to get a chance to look at her. Though, just from talking with her, she seemed like the type of girl who would hide in her house after gaining said village, just to spite them.

Mako was curious about the Water Nation. Their schools taught them that Azulon was an elite magical creature that somehow never needed to take a shit, and people in the other nations defecated three times the amount of Fire Nation folk. He always knew something was up. Everyone was constantly smuggling goods from all the other nations, especially from the Water Nation. There were automatic rice cookers that played a song when it finished making perfect rice, and little boxes that could play music when you press it. Mako always knew there was so much more out there than people in the Fire Nation could ever know.

She tells them stories of her life in the Water Tribes as they wait for Zuko, and she pointedly ignores the scoffs and disbelief. “There are toilets that shoot out water into your ass crack to clean it?”

“You can adjust the settings and everything!” She proclaims, pride filling every one of her words. “Warm, cool, even inconsistent spurts if you’re into that shit.”

They all make a noise of amazement. “That’s incredible .” She talks about sky rises, and business meetings with rich people, and showers that turn on with a drop of a hat.

“What’s a Rihanna again? Is that your God?”

“Yes.” Katara answers, with no hesitation. “See, she is the baddest in the land—”

“Wait!” Bolin abruptly stops her. “I thought that was your God...Megan Thee Stallion?”

“She’s the thiccest of them all.” Katara punctuated with a click of her tongue. “I thought we went over this!”

“Sorry,” they grunt, looking especially sheepish.

“What does she preach?” Kai inquires, eyes growing wide with delight.

Katara taps her lip, eyes coming up to the ceiling trying to concentrate. “She’s a goddess who empowers women! She tries to get everyone to build their knee strength. I think one of her sayings is ‘I need a Mr. Clean, make that pussy beam,’” Katara .

Zuko watches on, leaning on the door frame. He wants to hate the fact that he’ll miss her.

Everything was supposed to be easy at this point.

“Don’t forget about me.” She holds onto his arm as they sit against the edge of the fishing vessel, the waves impatiently slapping against them. He was supposed to bid her farewell at the dock, but something in him wanted to guarantee she was able to get on the second boat to the Earth Nation.

He’s still clad in one of his more formal uniforms. He still feels the chill of the night scraping through the fabric of his double breasted blazer.

Katara openly welcomes the cold, after nearly sweltering to death every second she’s been in the Fire Nation.

He lets his smile reach his eyes. “How could I forget a girl who nearly crushed me to death with her crotch.”

Her guffaw has the captain, Jeong Jeong, even startled. “Right.” She looks off into the distance, and can’t remember a time when she’s ever been surrounded by this much water. “My name’s Katara, by the way.”

Zuko feels a pang in his chest. “Zuko.”

“Nice to meet you, Zuko,” she whispers, holding her hand out to shake his. It feels warm when he grabs at the dainty thing.

“I hope we meet again. Maybe, in another life, Katara.”

“Really?” For a moment, he hears a twinge of sadness in her voice. It could be his mind or his heart making it up, but he swears he hears it.

“Really.”

Everything was going according to plan. Everything was supposed to go smoothly.

Until they’re both panic-sweating underneath the ship in its cargo hold, trying to come up with a plan to fend off the Coast Guard officers stopping all ships sailing past curfew.

“Do something! Doesn’t the military tell you to do something in this case? Or are you guys just trained in the art of being ugly and having anger issues?”

Zuko wracks his brain. “Why don’t you help me?”

“What happens if I don’t?” Katara angrily mutters.

“You’ll deal with the consequences,” Zuko shrugs, too entirely calm. He was a natural in intense situations, but even he could feel his hands shaking.

“That’s just diet ‘ I hope this bitch dies !’”

“Oops,” Zuko sneers.

Katara huffs. “The fact that men can breathe just doesn’t sit right with my soul.” Katara wants to strangle him.

A lightbulb seemingly goes off in his head. Something Mako said about the non-Fire Nation films and stories was always a fool proof “Get out of jail” card.

“Kiss me,” he says without any uncertainty.

“Are you huffing cactus juice, bitch?”

“Just do it!” Zuko practically screams when he hears the door opening. She presses her lips to his chapped ones, and his hands naturally come to her waist. He’s lost in the feeling of her plush lips, how incredibly soft her body was that he ignores the screams of Coast Guard officers.

“What the fuck was that!” They question Jeong Jeong, who simply shrugs. The officers promptly drop the cargo door in shock.

She slaps his face, his cheek already reddening in mere moments.

“What was that for?” Zuko grumbles, stroking his face.

“You’re a freak!”

He narrows his eyes. “I prefer a ‘you’re welcome,’ but that doesn’t seem to be in your vocabulary.” He felt like his entire body was tingling, but Katara could only focus on the fact he was swiping at his lips with the back of his hand.

“Hey! You should be thanking Rihanna you got a chance to kiss me! If you weren’t so colonized you would realize I am one of the most beautiful women in the world!” Katara petulantly reminds.

“I think it’s because you got diarrhea all over my one of my favorite t-shirts that I am doubting that claim.”

Katara sulks, confident form shrinking. “I forgot to boil the water one time, sue me.”

He can’t stop his laugh from taking over his whole body. He’s about to help her up when he hears, “Open it up again!”

This time, Katara fully pushes him down among the boxes of cargo, straddling his lap, and violently mashes her lips to his.

“Get the fuck up here!” Someone screams. Katara lets up on the kiss so Zuko could peer up at the officers. He feels his ears overheating.

“She’s my fiancé.” He hastily explains, once they were on deck. In between their masks, they stare down at Katara, who bites on her tongue, and puts up an act of a bashful bride-to-be. She holds onto his arm with a vice grip, ducking her head behind his broad shoulders.

“They were going on a romantic sight seeing trip,” Jeong Jeong provides, sweat beating down his back.

Katara nods enthusiastically. “We just couldn’t wait for the wedding to have a little fun .” She grins intenerally at their coughs of discomfort and Zuko’s bewildered gaze.

They check Zuko’s identification card, before nodding in understanding.

“Fine,” one officer bites out. He stares at Katara for a beat too long as though he’s reading her thoughts. It makes her uneasy. “Turn it back, and don’t come out past curfew anymore. They’ve implemented new standards for ships.” Jeong Jeong nods in understanding, and jumps to the helm in no time. But, Zuko could sense the panic vibrating off of Katara.

She turns to see the second ship waiting in the distance, her ticket to freedom a few feet away.

“We’re not done with date night!” She insists, coming out to try to stop the officer. Zuko holds her back, eyes pleading with her. “But—I—there has to be some other way.” She’s shaking like a leaf, even when Zuko throws his blazer over her bare shoulders.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be stuck feeding him heartburn medication like they are tic tacs,” Katara says to no one. She’s pacing nervously around the living room, and Zuko’s trying his best to come up with something to comfort her. His head is in his hands, and he’s since loosened his top knot to let his hair fall.

“Katara, I am only two years older than you,” he gently reminds.

“...And then I heard dentures always smell no matter how hard you clean them.”

“Katara I swear—,”

She gasps. “Oh my god, we have to start thinking of retirement homes.”

Things were supposed to be easy.

A spontaneous house check was something the village’s residents were accustomed to. They gathered outside their homes as soldiers began rifling through their things. Parents simply stood about, discussing the new books they had to buy for their kids for the upcoming semester.

Nothing was entirely out of the blue. Yet, the elusive military captain just had to show up to the front of his house, hand in hand with a blue-eyed girl.

A gun was promptly pointed in her face. “Oh shit. Bitch, not this again.”

“This house was registered for one resident.” General Zhao’s lip curls. “State your name and occupation.”

General Zhao had overheard a certain military director’s son was busted trying to get some punani on the seven seas.

It’s not that he hated Zuko, per say. Their relationship was more of a “ regularly abusing Zuko’s privacy to fulfill a personal agenda because of the bloodthirsty desire for power ” type of thing. Normal things. Maybe , it was influenced by the fact he got wind of Zuko pressuring his higher ups to further investigate his sister’s assasination. He wasn’t entirely sure.

“Look here, I have information that could lead to the arrest of Nicki Minaj. So why don’t you, I don’t know. Let me go ! I promise I’ll tell you everything I know about Ms. Nincki,” she lowly breathes, a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows only making the soldiers around her even more heated.

“Shut the fuck up!” A soldier screams behind her, poking her head with the gun. Katara couldn’t help the whimper that passed her lips. For the first time in her life, she thinks she feels genuine fear.

Zuko pushes past the guards holding him back, throwing them to the ground. Without missing a beat, he takes her hand in his. “Get your fucking gun out of my fiancé’s face!” He roars. Gasps reverberate around the villagers. This was the loudest and longest they’ve ever heard Zuko speak. “She works for the government as part of Division 11,” he explains, letting his voice settle into its usual rasp. Everybody visibly recoils.

A highly secretive sector of the government virtually no one , not even General Zhao had access to. They were agents deployed in different nations, with the goal of collecting information about the culture. It would’ve explained Katara’s Water Tribe accent, and the lack of her identification papers.

General Zhao pushes past Zuko, staring him down and grumbling with his men following behind.

The women of the village instantly make way to collect around Katara. Noses turned up at her like she was shit on a brick. No, they couldn’t give a shit about her. They had rushed into their houses after the announcement, and came back to ply Zuko with trays of food.

“For our handsome Zuko finally getting hitched!” The fake smiles make Katara want to stab herself. She swiftly reaches for Zuko’s hand, much to his confusion, and lays her head on his shoulder.

“Baby, let’s go inside. I’m cold,” she feigns through her teeth. Her puppy dog eyes make him feel like he’s in high school. He numbly nods.

She thinks she hears someone’s grandma calling her a slut.

“Pick your head up king, your hairline is receding,” Katara worries her lip at seeing his current state. She doesn’t think he’s slept all night, and he has papers and maps with highlighter marks and red circles all around him on his bed.

It’s been a few days since his big announcement to the village, and it feels better to be able to get outside. Breathe from the confines from Zuko’s dingy house. Even among the whispers and stares from people, the villagers weren’t all bad. The women sometimes drop by to invite her over to cook with them, and the kids bring her only the nicer rocks they’ve managed to dig through the dirt for.

“I just want to get you home.” He practically grunts. She’s holding a cup of tea for him, and he gulps it down as if it was Rihanna’s boob sweat. “I don’t want you to stay here for even a second longer.”

“Thanks!” Katara sends him a sardonic smile.

Fuck . He always knew how to put his foot in his mouth when he’s around her. “No, uh. Not like that. This place is a hell hole, and I just want you to get back. It’s not safe for you, for anyone here.” She pats his back gently when he starts choking on the tea, trying to get all his words out. He’s so sweet, the way he just quietly tries to draft out a plan while he thinks she’s asleep. She hears him curse whenever a pen snaps with the pressure he applies. With how many times he sighs through the night, she feels guilty.

She’s entirely too comfortable around Zuko, he decides. She lays in bed next to him and he hopes she doesn't notice the way he’s grown warm with her presence. He craves it too much these days. “You know what, the one thing I’ve learned through all of this is that the first thing I’m going to do when I come back is shutting down Chrissy Teigen’s Twitter.”

“Not visit your friends and family?” Zuko asks, amusement dancing across his features.

“That can come second,” Katara asserts.

Life wasn’t completely terrible. Sure, she cries the moment Zuko leaves the house because she’s sure she’s going to die in this shit fuck of place and never get to her money’s worth of her one year HelloFresh subscription. But she has complete faith in Zuko’s abilities.

“It’s like during The Amazing Race Season 17 when those two vegetarian doctors ate a goat’s head to win. I think their names were Kat and Nat.”

“The point?” Zuko tries his best to sound exasperated.

“The point is, I’ll learn how to adapt for the next week or so. I promise, it’s not all that terrible!” Zuko doesn’t trust her uneasy, twitching eyes, but nods all the same.

“Hold my hand, motherfucker!” She beams under the attention of the villagers, most of them scoffing when she does her daily send off routine. When Zuko leaves for work, she is insistent on performing their cute couple duties to piss off old people (her other favorite pastime). “Did you remember to bring your water bottle today, stupid bitch?”

“I think I’d like this more if you asked nicely,” he groused. He likes how small her hand fits in his, but he thinks he’ll boil shoelaces and eat them before he would admit it.

She’s made one friend, at least. Ty Lee, a girl whose parents are trying to marry her off by the next summer. The older women side eyed her just the same, thinking her big ole titties were too big of a distraction among the eligible men in the village.

“It came as a shock to us, we still think Zuko is a robot,” Ty Lee admits over a bowl of beef stew. Katara nearly chokes at the spice level. “It’s too bad you’re marrying a lower ranked officer. I know this guy who’s way up there! You could do so much better . I think his name’s Chan!”

“So, Zuko’s basically a nobody here?”

“Pretty much,” the girl states it like it’s a known fact. “He doesn’t do much, to be honest. But he’s all the old ladies’ favorites because he’s cute and moody . Fuck that, give me communication , you know what I mean?”

Katara could already feel the cogs whirring to life in her brain. “Thanks for letting me know, Ty Lee!” Her chirpy tone has the girl smiling as well. Good, her acting skills haven’t gone rusty. “How come when Zuko makes beef stew, it’s never spicy?” She wipes her nose with a napkin Ty Lee had given her after noticing the impending waterfall of snot.

Ty Lee ponders it for a second. “Sorry, babe. This is the most mild recipe you can make in the Fire Nation. I didn’t realize you couldn't handle it. Maybe he’s just remixing a classic?”

Katara tries to hold back her smile. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Babies are broke,” Katara glares at the child in her lap, who only curls in closer to her.

“Oh my god.” Zuko lets the little boy play with his hair when he wasn’t suffocating Katara’s neck with his other arm.

“They live in your head and your house rent free. And then they have the audacity to stare at you in their weak ass outfits,” she points out. They’re both squeezed together on a sofa barely holding itself together, and forced to watch over the birthday boy.

“Don’t be mad. It’s entirely your fault Chungha’s kid laughed so hard it barfed on you.”

Katara’s exhausted laugh makes Zuko forget his tiredness all the same. “Don’t call the baby an ‘it!’”

Zuko lets the kid bite on his finger, and grabs him from Katara’s hands when he begins tugging on her dress straps. “I still can’t believe you taught Chungha’s daughter to ‘not be the bigger person, and punch a bitch!’ And Chungha still invited you to her son’s party.”

“Talk shit, get hit. Basic stuff.”

He had to admit, coming home and immediately being dragged to a baby’s birthday celebration was not how he saw his night going. Especially after hours of grueling paperwork.

“He’s two ,” Zuko lets out an annoyed huff.

“And what about it, bitch?” Katara growls. She has her hair in a complicated updo, complete with the Fire Nation hair ties he recently picked up for her.

He tries to hide the fact he enjoys this far too much. Domestic things. Things like coming home from work to banter with her. Cooking for Katara while she’s busy socializing with the older wives. He heard from Mako that Katara spends most of her day with the married women. Her plan was to try to move him up the ranks of the military ladder by getting to the lieutenant’s wives first.

When she’s home and finished washing up, she takes his dress shirts as though they were her’s and wears them to bed. After she’s passed out on the sleeping mat in the living room, he makes it a habit to carry her to the mattress in his room.

“My bad back likes the hard floor,” he would insist when she would protest.

He thinks he’s a goner when she even starts trying to make Fire Nation snacks for his lunches. He packs them himself, but somehow misses the minute containers that make their way into his pail. Even if the container somehow always breaks because she forgets to close it properly and he ends the day smelling like fish sauce, he likes it.

He knows he must be fucking crazy, pretending this was all real. Maybe he was delusional and reading too much into her actions. Maybe he was a fucking idiot. But for a moment, it was easy to pretend he’s a few months away from marrying a pretty girl. A pretty girl busy spending the night playing around with babies they could one day have together.

He shakes the thought from his head, physically moving his head to make it permeate even deeper. She was going to be back home, safe and sound soon. It was better not to get attached.

She makes it so fucking hard, though. Especially when she’s wiping away at the creases in his brow before bed. Or asking him through the closed bedroom door to tell her it’s going to be ok, to talk to her until she falls asleep because she likes the sound of his voice.

She’s a stone cold bitch. A bitch that could fight with her Swarovski crystal acrylics, and come out virtually unscathed. Someone needs to explain to her exactly why she was crying like a James Charles fake apology video for being a racist at the sight of Chungha’s kid bouncing about, flinging his boogers in her face.

“Maybe if I pray to Azulon hard enough, you guys could have your own little bundle of joy soon!” Chungha exclaims, holding the baby as tight as she could.

After all, when you almost lose a kid, every moment you’re blessed with their breath never feels like enough. You never want to spend another moment away from them. It’s a miracle his fever broke in time for his birthday. Their family couldn’t afford to go to the doctor, with hospitals being a four hour bike ride away.

“Yeah, sure.” Katara barely could hear her over Yoonjn’s gleeful squeals.

“I’ll tell Bomi to pray for you guys, too. After what Azulon did for her little Sana, you’ll be pregnant in no time!”

Katara just squeezes at the baby’s chubby cheek.

“You’re going to kill yourself.” Katara flinches at Zuko’s voice piercing through the quiet night. He’s leaning up against the wall, and emerges from the shadows because he’s dramatic and needed the added effect. She doesn’t miss the way he limps while clutching his side.

“Shut up .” She throws her straw hat at the ground, and flings herself across the sleeping mat, face down. “I’ve had a long night.”

He wants to be angry with her. He wants to scream at her. He was livid .

“What if you got caught, huh? You could’ve been executed .” Zuko knew it wasn’t a coincidence. That the rumors of a spirit going around healing people in the village coincided with someone’s sudden appearance. He thinks the sight of Katara effortlessly waterbending is permanently etched into his memory. The way her face was blissed out, the element easily submitting to her every will.

Katara knows he’s just worried for her. She knows the occasional rustle of the branches was more than a breeze. But, all she sees is red. “Sounds rich, coming from you ! What’s your name again? Sorry, my bad. I didn’t know ‘The Blue Spirit’ was a silent vowel in the name ‘Zuko!’”

He waits a beat, before turning to face her. She has his mask in hand, an angry glare screwing her features.

“How did you—who did—?” His brain was apparently as smooth as Howie Mandel’s head when he needed its help the most. At least he knows where his mask went.

“My mind is as strong as the Twitter men trying to get Doja Cat to show us her titties.” She rolls her eyes when she sees Zuko pondering. “You leave your Dao swords on display in the living room, and the mask is underneath your bed. I don’t know, let me ask the audience.”

“Oh.”

Katara flicks his forehead.

“At least I’m not walking around with some face paint thinking I’m helping these people!”

She scoffs. “But I am! They’re too sick to afford medication. To even go to the hospital. If they make it, no one wants to help them! You’re telling me I have to just watch them die!”

Zuko sighs. “You’re giving them hope !”

“In this dumpster fire of a place, yeah! I fucking am! What’s wrong with that? Tell me!” She challenges. She comes up nose to nose with Zuko, eyes darting and impatiently waiting for an answer.

“What are these people going to do when you’re gone?” What am I going to do when you’re gone? “They think the Painted Lady is real !”

“Let them!” She huffs. “What about you, huh? Going around stealing from the rich to bring back to the villagers? You think you’re any better? You’re going to get killed!”

Zuko scoffs. “You’re missing the point. The difference between you and me? I’m perfectly fine with dying.”

Katara grabs his face in between her hands, anger vanishing. “Zuko, don’t say that.”

“Why the fuck not? Maybe I want to fucking die!” He shouts, ripping his head out of her grasp. “Maybe I’m hoping to get caught!”

“...Why?” Katara croaks.

“ You don’t get it !” He screams. Time seemed to stop when tears fell from Zuko’s eyes. Even when he’s angry, he’s never been this loud with Katara before. He wants to take it all back, stop himself.

She’s at a loss for words. “Zuko, I—”

“This place is a fucking dead end. No one’s going to save us. The Fire Nation doesn’t care about us. The Fire Nation could give less of a fuck. You can’t let people think there’s hope when it’s all a fucking lie !” He laughs, the bitter sound foreign to her. “You know, it’s normal to pray for an early death here. You pray that it’s painless. It’s easier to die than live every day trapped in this reality.”

He loses his grip on the countertop he was leaning on for support. Katara moves to catch him before he falls, and lays him as gently as possible on top of the mat. She makes quick work to heal the gash at his side. A result of following her during her rounds, and fighting off any robbers trying their luck in the night.

“I thought you were the Kris Jenner of the Southern Water Tribe?” He squeezes out, trying to get her to laugh. She’s touched he remembered her Kardashian-Jenner clan rants. (He’s been Team Stormi since day one.) Then again, he seems to remember every little detail about her. “A businesswoman, right? Didn’t know you were a master waterbender on top of all of that.”

She snorts, and wipes away her own tears before he could open his eyes again. “I was a paramedic. I wanted to run a clinic at one point.” Zuko winces at the intensity of the water cooling his wound. “Growing up, I hated the business world. It was all backstabbing and boring bitches. But sometimes, it’s easier.” She’s silent for a while, focused only on the healing process.

“I—I couldn’t save a lot of people,” her voice drops down to a barely audible whisper, and her brows furrow.

They’re shoulder to shoulder on the mat after she wraps up his cut. They’re staring up at the cracks of his ceiling.

“Do you ever miss it?” Zuko rasps.

“Bending?”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes.” She lets silence fill the air for a moment. “ It’s second nature to me. Fuck, I was bending before I could even talk. Is it bad that I gave up on it? Is it bad it makes me sick to my stomach?”

Something she loved, she couldn’t stand to do again.

She couldn’t save her mom. She couldn’t save her niece. What was the point anymore?

He wraps his hand around hers.

“What do you think we would have been like, in another life?” Zuko groans, laying down beside Katara. She’s sprawled out, still taking in heavy breaths after breaking into an intense run. His side still aches. He thinks his arm is broken from fighting off the soldiers while carrying the dozens of survivors.

The captain in a nearby village was sentenced to a public execution later in the week. He wanted to go out on his own terms and take his village with him, too. Trying to sacrifice people to the Gods above for forgiveness, he set the place ablaze.

It’s too bad The Painted Lady got wind of it first.

“Hm?” Katara hums, healing a cut on her face. “I’d like to think Katara in another life got to be normal. Like just owning a Chevy and living life without ever having to acknowledge Timothee Chalamat’s existence type of normal. She’s happy. She doesn’t develop an addiction to Prozac. She probably has a small white dog named Mochi that can fit into a knock-off Fendi purse.”

“Really? No butt-warming toilets in her life?”

“Nah. She could be the Mayor of Boo Boo the Foolville without any consequences.” She can’t recall a time when she’s felt so free. When her words flow out without carefully being measured. The stars feel like daylight. The expanses of the village’s nearby river tugging at her heart strings. “She could bend without constantly thinking of what could’ve been.”

“Zuko in another life would’ve been a piano player.” It still stings. Thinking about the future that could’ve been.

“Not a full time Blue Spirit?” She teases.

“Full time Blue Spirit doesn’t pay the bills, surprisingly.”

He turns his head and sees her nose crinkle. He’s sure it should be illegal for someone to be this beautiful.

“This kid I healed, he made his own Blue Spirit costume. He’s been wearing it every day, and treated it like it’s this season’s Versace,” Katara murmurs. He laughs, loud and unbridled.

“Yeah? I saw a bunch of little girls with their Painted Lady dolls.” They were holding onto them until their knuckles turned white, even with Zuko dangling them from his shoulders.

Katara’s heart swells. “I think I’m going to cry.”

Zuko nudges her shoulder with his when he hears her mock-sniffles.

“Did you know I told this guy ‘it’s time to evacuate!’ while he was mid-masturbation.”

Katara’s stomach is starting to hurt with how hard she’s squealing. “You’re lying ! Please, say sike!”

Zuko throws his hands up. “I couldn’t make this up even if I tried. He was all like, ‘You mean time to ejaculate!’” Zuko finishes the story in a dude-bro voice.

At this point, Katara was shaking uncontrollably, and it’s infectious. He can’t help laughing, too.

A beat of silence passes between the duo, too distracted by the night sky.

Zuko rubs a hand over his face, determined to stay awake to see her fall asleep.

“What would Zuko and Katara have been in another life?” Katara whispers wistfully.

He glances over to her, eyes heavy. “I think being us would have been easier, in another life.” Her light snores fill the air. “At least then, I could be by your side.”

He nudges her head until it fits securely in the crook of his shoulder.

“Sit there and look pretty!”

“No!”

“All I’m asking you to do is sit and blink!” Katara had run into a kid with a smuggled polaroid camera trying to snap photos of her. In return for not slicing open his urethra with a dull butter knife, she was trying to force him to take photos of Zuko. After all, she wanted a memento of her time with him.

The teen was nervously glanced between the two, the camera shaking in his grasp.

“I think I’m going to go find my mom…”

“Pussy bitch!” Katara screams at the running boy.

“Old ass hoe!” He yelps back.

Zuko knew it was a mistake taking Katara to the night market. As a celebration of the Mid-Autumn Festival, curfews were relaxed. The marketplace opened up to sell street food into the night. There’s singing, dancing, laughing, drinking. A night to forget, a night meant for happiness.

He thinks it’s ridiculous. The way she doesn’t notice the way guys look at her. He’s spent the better part of the night standing in front of her if any man was brave enough to glance in her general direction. At night, she was in her element, her smile was a blinding thing that made his heart race. She doesn’t pay any mind to anyone staring, to anyone trying to get her attention. She’s just taking in the little moments around her, eyes so bright and stares so wide. Like she’s afraid to miss a single detail with just a blink.

“Your breath smells like stupid bitch,” Katara points out after what had to be his 20th grunt of the night. She’s sure he’s holding her close to make sure they still played a newly engaged couple. She relishes in the attention all the same.

“Sorry.” He sulks like a child, and it makes Katara want to hug him.

She pecks his cheek and he freezes. “Look! He bought his girlfriend that potato on a stick thing!”

Zuko rushes off without any hesitation.

He picks the fire flakes off the potato slices before handing it to her. She practically inhales the snack, and he frets. He thinks she’s about to stab herself with the skewer. “Oh look!” She points to another couple, while pouting. “He won her a stuffed dragon.”

Zuko couldn’t stand to see her upset, even for a second.

When she’s hugging the plushie close to her, Zuko throws his arm around her. She stops in her tracks. “Oh my god! Is that ice cream—” He runs to find the vendor without even thinking.

“Number 43!” The vendor yelps. Zuko instantly recognizes the greasy teenager picking up the order in front of him.

“Give me the photos you took of my fiancé,” he says, panting. He practically ran at lightning speed to catch up to the kid, who intentionally rushed off after feeling Zuko glaring him down from a distance. The boy feels his bladder shaking.

“But—but you didn’t want a photo! You—” Zuko’s best menacing scowl had the kid scrambling through his pockets. “She could do better, you know!” He petulantly points out, before throwing the photo in the air and taking off.

Zuko lets himself smile after tucking Katara’s picture safely into his wallet. He knew he told himself he wouldn’t get attached. Not his fault she’s cast him under her spell.

He’s pouting. She’s struggling not to laugh in his face.

“This is mine, now.” He indignantly rips the toy of her hold, squishing it to his chest instead.

“Why?” she questions.

“If you want one so bad, ask Chan to win you one.” She straight up guffaws in his face. Zuko had caught Chan hugging her out of excitement. Ty Lee finally agreed to a date with him, all thanks to Katara meddling.

“I can’t believe you’d cheat on me!” Zuko scowls. He’s more cute than terrifying, and Katara just rolls her eyes. “I thought I was the only one you call ‘babe!’” He tries protesting.

Katara snorts. “That was short for ‘beyblade.’ Let it rip, motherfucker!”

“Am I not a good husband-to-be? Is that what it is? Do you feel neglected, babe ?” He’s just fucking with her at this point, his childish pout threatening to bleed into a full blown laugh. He’s biking them back home, with Katara seated at the front on only a towel. She misses her Tesla.

“For starters, your toes look like gorilla knuckles. They look like they could wrap completely around a baseball.”

“Hey!”

“Be honest. Has anyone ever sucked your toes until you creamed yourself?” Katara’s favorite pastime is making Zuko blush.

She turns back to him to see his reddening face. “Oh my god! Look at how cute you are! I think my stomach has the butterflies!” Zuko just grows positively crimson at her mocking tone. He’ll blame the warming weather, though.

“Kill them. I won’t treat you right,” Zuko murmurs. Katara just swats at his head. “Didn’t I shoot at you? Love yourself, Katara.”

Once they reach his house, she jumps off the bicycle, and grabs Zuko by the shoulders. “Hey.”

“What?” He can’t help being mesmerized by her eyes.

“I think I’ll miss you,” Katara breathes.

“You have to leave first for you to miss me.” Zuko wraps her up in a tight hug.

He feels selfish when he wishes moments with Katara could last a lifetime.

#zutara fanfiction #zutara #zuko x katara #zutara month #zutara month 2020 #may 13 #hidden #zutara month part two

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junoalbright · 4 years

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[ JUNO ALBRIGHT. 23. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 6 MONTHS ] and are originally from [ KENOSHA, WISCONSIN ]. They are a [ BARTENDER AT CAROUSEL/SELLER ON ETSY ] and in their downtime love [ MAKING JEWELRY ] and [ BINGE WATCHING THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW ]. They look a lot like [ KRISTINE FROSETH ] and live [ IN OASIS APTS ].

hi friends it’s me it’s dia and as usual i have nothing of substance to say except that juno is 600x more lowkey than matt or faith yeghsdujka but come hmu for plots if u want or give this a like 💜

full name: juno heather albright nickname(s): june bug (her parents) birthday: october 13, 1997 zodiac: libra hometown: kenosha, wisconsin sexuality: demisexual height: 5′5″ career: bartender at carousel & sells jewelry and art on etsy

juno grew up in kenosha, wisconsin. big midwestern energy. it was always a little too close to hicksville for her taste but she has a special place in her heart for that weird specific wisconsin vibe and u can definitely like….tell she’s not from LA sometimes fwykeurgahld catch her criticizing cheese ruthlessly and getting cravings for beef jerky that she claims isn’t satisfied by “california jerky”

she got her bfa at the university of wisconsin-madison really just bc she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do after high school and that’s….what people do gfydhs but by the time she graduated she’d already been making and selling jewelry on etsy for a couple years and knew that she didn’t really want a career, she just wanted to chill in warm weather and make a comfortable living selling her jewelry and other random art. so with a little bit of help from her parents financially (and using almost all of her savings) she moved to LA just a few months after graduation, where she found a job bartending at carousel to supplement the money she makes selling on etsy

her childhood was super ordinary. she’s the middle child of the family with an older sister and a younger brother, both of which still live in kenosha. her sister was a Difficult Teenager so their parents were dealing with that most of the time when they were kids, making juno’s very mild emo phase (inspired by her sister and included dyeing a single blue stripe in her hair and wearing extremely small gauges) literally the least of their parents worries. her little brother was also pretty mild and kind of nerdy, and he and juno would just sort of uncomfortably watch things go down with their parents and their older sister for years

her parents stayed together for much longer than they should have “for the kids”, which resulted in a ton of fighting and hardcore contributed to juno’s sister acting out a lot and fighting with their parents. they finally got divorced when juno was 15, which made pretty much her whole sophomore year of high school really difficult in a lot of ways but wound up being very good for everyone’s mental health in the end. her dad remarried and her parents are super civil with each other and they do holidays as a family and everything

her sister is married now with two kids and juno is obsessed with them

she’s an extremely lowkey individual, really just wants to hang out, go on hikes in the mountains, make her jewelry, hoard scented soap, and complain about how bad pizza is in california

definitely an introvert in that she needs to have her alone time to recharge and fully enjoys days spent indoors watching netflix, but she’s usually p much down to do anything and very much enjoys her job working at a bar

lives in a two bedroom apartment with a roommate (wc!!) and fills it with plants. is usually burning incense and other herbs just bc she likes the smell and aesthetic

loves camping, will spend entire days on the beach, always has horrible tan lines, makes her own perfumes by blending essential oils, unironically loves rainforest cafe, theoretically likes yoga but rarely does it, has a huge sea glass collection from back home that fills like 5 or 6 big vases, takes animal crossing too seriously, has cried at a lana del rey concert, smokes weed but will get anxious and have to stop if she gets too high, has been known to use scrunchies

usual outfits include sundresses, jeans, graphic tees, graphic socks, thrift sweaters, mid 2000s energy platform shoes, 90s stretch chokers

she has a german shepherd corgi mix named bowie that she is in love with and generally is obsessed with animals

absolutely under no circumstances will date someone unless she is head over heels in love bc she has no time for that

has a huge amount of common sense and is super rational about things but making decisions gives her anxiety even when she KNOWS what she should do so she can get crabby and snap at people if she’s struggling with a big life decision

#slintro #this is so messy #gl!!

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snkpolls · 5 years

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SnK Chapter 119 Poll Results

The chapter 119 poll closed with 2,021 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,942 Responses

This chapter was a roller coaster of action and emotional turmoil, clearly affecting the majority of the fandom, with 92.7% of respondents giving it either a 4 or a 5 rating.

Well, Isayama. Mission accomplished. This chapter did phenomenally hurt me.

Colt became one of my new favorite characters. This is the only series where I can say I'm happy one of my favorites is dead, because that means they don't have to suffer anymore...

don't lose your head now, we are almost in the end

Entertaining chapter, but with some glaring inconsistencies

To me, it was one of the most nerve wracking, emotional, and plot twist chapters that I've ever read in this series.

Isayama one of the madman. That's it. That's the whole thoughts.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,949 Responses

Our top three fave moments were Colt hugging Falco as he transformed (28.7%), Gabi shooting Eren (21.3%) and Porco sacrificing himself to save Falco and Reiner (17.1%).

Eren getting his head blown off is my favorite manga moment since the Armored/Colossal Titan reveal... hands down. Might be even better, depends on what happens next

The Zeke scream was my favorite moment. It was so epic, I just can't wait for the anime to use YouSeeBigGirl or 2volt in this scene. It's my favorite moment as a manga reader after Willy Tybur's speech

Colt died a selfless, loyal big brother, and that's all there is to say about that.

Eren getting his head blown off is the best thing to ever happen. We know it means jack shit for him, but we got soooo many great memes. It's a good time to be alive.

I never really had strong opinions on Colt before, but he is 100% best Oniisan, being with his frightened younger brother til the end

Porco went too soon 😢

This poll was also inconsistent this month, I couldn’t vote for Pyxis drinking as my favourite moment.

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,941 Responses

With so many characters to choose from, it’s surprising but exciting that Porco won this chapter MVP by a landslide. Perhaps even more surprising, however, is Gabi coming in at #2.

I'm so proud Porco.

#GabiGang rise up!

I’m glad that everyone’s eyes have been opened to the fact that Porco is - was - a great character

Colt was too good for this world.

Gabi shoot Eren’s head off was strangely cathartic

Porco the real mvp and you all know it

Even though I don't like Porco, and never have, I will admit he was kind of the MVP this round. Reiner kicked more ass than he did at every given opportunity, dude was kinda useless tbh, so it's cool that he finally served some kind of purpose.

Badass Gabi is best Gabi

The Grice brothers were the only Marleyans I liked from the get-go, so this chapter was yet another wrench in the heart (thanks again, Yams!) Colt was totally the MVP in this entire arc, as far as I'm concerned. His last words to Falco were absolutely heartbreaking. My poor boys. :( Falco's guilt will be devastating to see.

Never cared about Porco before. But this time...

*crying like an idiot*

WHICH MEMBER OF THE 104TH HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS CHAPTER? 1,919 Responses

The members of the 104th are finally out of jail and back in action! 47.5% think Armin’s epic use of a thunder spear shot him into first place, while 33% think Mikasa, who went to fight the Cart along with him was the standout.

Armin was so cool this chapter <3

Connie & Jean was unexpected

Floch just die already...

So one of Armin's major characteristics throughout the manga up until this point has been him whining about how weak he is and how he never gets better at the gear and how he's such a burden, and now, suddenly, miraculously, he's keeping up with an Ackerman. Amazing plot armor there, Isayama, truly amazing. It certainly would be nice if the other side got even half the advantages that the Paradise crew does. Imagine what a fair and balanced battle would look like!

Mah boi Floch seems to be the only survivor of the attack on the carttitan... he definetly knows how to survive

I love the Armin and Mikasa duo action. I also hope Armin will transform soon

Armin now is so close to Magath. I want to see him try to negotiate with him, but I also want to see him go colossal already ahhhh.

floch suffers again

ARUMIKA GANG, RISE UP. JEANCON GANG, RISE UP.

I miss Sasha :(

WHICH WARRIOR HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS MONTH? 1,941 Responses

The warriors got a lot of action as well as emotional play this month, and though polls in the past have shown Porco as unpopular, 59.4% of you chose him as the MVP among his comrades. 11.4% think Colt finally stood out from the crowd, 9.7% selected Gabi, and 8.6% chose the sufferboi Reiner.

Best bois: Porco and Colt Best girl: Gab Gab

M V PIECK!!

All of them? Seriously they all did great this chapter despite literally half of these kids dying or being in danger.

I was truly surprised by gabi shooting eren, but god that was awesome i loved it

I hadn’t even liked Porco or Colt before but damn did they earn my respect.

mad props to Gabi for being such a badass that she was able to dig Colt’s rifle out from under his burnt body in order to fire on Eren. Being able to think so clearly and take action even under the weight of her horror and grief was incredible.

Originally Falco was the only non-Paradis character I liked. Now we can all Colt to that list. Shame he had to die in order for me to feel this way.

Falco was the only one who didn't do a whole lot this chapter but a large majority of them got a moment to be recognized as the type of person they are.

WHICH BROTHERLY PAIRING SPOKE TO YOU THE MOST THIS CHAPTER? 1,945 Responses

Colt trying to do everything in his power to protect Falco is what touched the majority of the fandom’s hearts, earning them a solid 80% of the vote. At a very distant second, 10.2% of the fandom were most emotionally touched by Eren and Zeke’s desperation to make contact with each other, only to be ruthlessly denied in the end.

I think Colt and Falco scene was one of the best scenes in all manga, so emotional

WILL REINER EVER SUCCEED IN KILLING HIMSELF? 1,941 Responses

Sorry, Reiner, but most (90.8%) of us don’t think you’re going to have any success in ending your own life. ….But look on the bright side: 11.9% think that maybe you’ll get lucky and somebody else will kill you!

Let Reiner die in peace already, Isayama!

I love that my baby boy Reiner is still alive. 😭

No wonder Reiner wanted to be like Marcel, at least that kid didn't fail at suicide.

ON A SCALE OF "DEAR GOD!" TO "I'VE SEEN WORSE" HOW HORRIFYING WAS FALCO’S TITAN? 1,944 Responses

64% of the fandom veered towards “Dear god!” in response to Falco’s horrific titan form. Only 7.6% replied with confidence that they’d seen worse.

Falco’s titan looks like a hybrid of Cheese from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends and Dead Hand from Legend of Zelda: OOT. So horrifying that I can’t not look at it.

Falco gets a medal for having the creepiest mindless titan.

MAN F****** that jaw titan is a problem!

Two things I did not need to see this chapter were Falco's mindless titan form and a decapitated Eren. So much horror, so little beauty…

Why are Falco’s Titan’s teeth in hIS NOSE WTF

WHO WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED FALCO TO EAT OF THE TWO? 1,929 Responses

Porco oh so barely edged out Reiner as the person we’d most prefer Falco to have eaten. Looking at the comments, popularity had nothing to do with this. Rather many people seemed to think that dying for Falco was a more fitting gesture for Reiner’s arc.

Disappointing because the Jaws died. Reiner easily could’ve got out his nape and let Falco eat him, we didn’t need to lose Porco.

I feel bad for reiner, becouse he could get his redemtion and complete his perfect development and he lost this oportunity,

I WANT PORCO BACK

i'm pretty frustrated that falco didn't get the armored titan, half because i want reiner to finally have some peace and also because i really wanted to see an armored titan falco.

WHICH CHARACTER HAD THE MOST MOVING SWAN SONG? 1,933 Responses

38.8% of respondents were moved the most this chapter by Colt and Falco’s brotherly love for one another. 26.2% most enjoyed Porco’s sacrifice that couldn’t have happened without a little classic Porco sass. 18.5% are really feeling it for Nile and how he tried to save one child while knowing he’ll never see his own again. Pixis, at least you were still able to enjoy one last swig.

I liked Pixis accepting his fate while Zeke screamed

WHILE COLT'S DECISION TO STAY WITH FALCO WAS TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL, IT DIDN'T SERVE A LOT OF PURPOSE. IN YOUR OPINION, IT WAS... 1,942 Responses

In a chapter filled with so much death, does Colt’s stand out? Was it even necessary? 47.2% feel that his decision to stay by his brother’s side was understandable but unreasonable given the circumstances. 36.1% went with the simple explanation of “Tragic”, where only 8.8% thought his choice was 100% heroic.

I cried when Colt hugged Falco

Colt....I understand you're distraught about your precious lil bro being titanized, but there's a snackalicious founding titan running towards a fuzzy ass monkey, you could've helped in SOME way!

Anyways Colt’s death although it wasn’t necessary was very moving for me, which is the first time anyone from Marley except Falco has provoked any feelings in me to be honest.

Colt is getting unreasonable amount of crap for choosing to stay by Falco's side. I don't blame Colt at all, for seeing no immediate master plan to keep going. His instincts went right to big brother mode, to a self-sacrificing degree. And god help you if you can't appreciate that kind of beauty without feeling the need to say how much better you would have done yourself.

I was shocked to see Colt die so soon, but at the same time, I can understand why he made the sacrifice here, and it was an emotional highpoint for me in this chapter. It's going to be sad seeing Falco's reaction when he learns what has become of his brother, but I think he will understand just how much Colt cared about him

Colt's decision to stay with Falco as the later was turning into a Pure Titan was unreasonable considering the heat of the transformation nearby would kill him, but he must've thought this was the only option left because he thought no one else would save Falco (he especially would never expect Porco to sacrifice himself for Falco) and thus couldn't bear to see his beloved brother be cursed into a Pure Titan, so he just wanted to be with Falco in what he thought would be the latter's true final moments as a human.

PORCO'S DECISION TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF WAS COMPOSED OF MANY FACTORS, BUT WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK STOOD OUT THE MOST? 1,915 Responses

Hearing Colt and Zeke’s back and forth about the lengths they’re willing to go to in order to ensure their little brother’s safety is what 44.6% of the fandom believes most motivated Porco to sacrifice himself to Falco. 25.7% felt that he was pushed the most by his unwillingness to meaninglessly die and have his titan power go to waste. For the remainder of the fandom, just a few more believe that his intent was to protect Reiner rather than saving Falco.

Porco only wanted to feel validated. He died because he was in a situation where he knew he wouldn’t survive, and once he knew the truth and felt validated, he was ready to let go and die. This is why in his final line he says that in the end, he was better than Reiner. Knowing the truth was enough for him to finally stop trying to be the best, to stop trying to show his worth, and to finally accept the fact that he couldn’t keep fighting in this battle.

If we're being honest, I was surprised to see Porco die. I wasn't expecting any of that. At least he can finally be at peace with his brother tho.

Porco’s sacrifice was one of the most noble we’ve seen so far in the series and showed a lot of character development. He’ll be sorely missed!

PORCO'S FIRST AND LAST LINES IN THE STORY WERE AIMED AT REINER. DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP CHANGED OVER THE TIME WE'VE WITNESSED IT? 1,918 Responses

The results were nearly split, with 34.8% of respondents feeling that Reiner and Porco’s relationship was starting to improve after Liberio, with the potential to become even better, while 34.1% felt that Porco let go of every negative feeling he had for Reiner when he realized the truth of Marcel’s sacrifice. 16.6% feel there wasn’t enough screen time to form an opinion, and 14.5% believe there was no change in dynamic by the end.

DO YOU AGREE WITH THE THEORIES THAT EREN HAS ALREADY ACTIVATED THE COORDINATE POWER? 1,922 Responses

While close to half the fandom believe that Coordinate power is still dormant in Eren, more than a third believe that there was enough strangeness this month to indicate that Eren has either touched Zeke already or had some other means of accessing the Coordinate power.

The entire chapter felt... off. Pixis teleporting from outside to inside drinking, Eren’s brotherhood of traveling pants, the whole Magath and Pieck thing, it just... seems weird.

Eren couldn't be using the coordinate rn simple because he needs royal blood...

I can go either way on the inconstancies, all of them seem like reasonable mistakes for a rushed chapter. But that also makes them just subtle enough to actually be clues that paths shit is happening

I think that the battle shown is a false battle created by the founding titans power and the real battle will be shown to an earlier Eren through a memory

I highly, HIGHLY doubt Eren pulled off some War Hammer Titan shenanigans or activated the Founding Titan's power beforehand to make it out of Gabi's shot. The stuff doesn't add up for these two.

WHAT WAS THE MOST GLARING SEEMING INCONSISTENCY? 1,912 Responses

“All of the above” was the favorite response to the question of inconsistencies in this chapter. Of those who made a choice, “Eren’s clothes magically reappearing” was the top pick (27.2%) followed by Pieck’s quick transformation after creating a skeletonized titan form last chapter (13.9%). While we listed several of the inconsistencies we’d noticed, the write-ins contained even more

All the above plus Porco changing out of a garrison uniform to a SC uniform

Bert's crater, and the waterway. But I want to say Eren's clothes because that has been inconsistent for 2 or 3 chapters now iirc, memory manipulation incoming.

Commander Pixis was out and suddenly was inside with other people who drank the spinal fluid

Eren getting hit by the Titan rifle by Magath and then suddenly being okay just after that.

Eren magically getting his shoes back after they got bit off by the jaws

Gabi being in the exact right place at the exact right time. If Eren had to "die" that couldn't have been set up better?

It might be me, but Gabi with the titan rifle. More so "how" she got it, as we can infer it was Colt's. The problem being that Colt had it on his back even after Falco's transformation. Being underneath a burning body (RIP Colt) and being in operable condition, it just seems off to me.

Mikasa magically changed positions at one point way too fast to be possible

No one seems to have mentioned that Gabi's hair is down when she shot Eren

Pixis teleporting from riding a horse to chilling with a drink

Reiner's sudden in-Titan beard is what got me

The three false connections between Eren's clothes (we see once he has a white shirt in his titan, once he is naked and once he had in fact his usual "sweatshirt") I mean, come on, decide on what the boy's wearing Yams.

The Gabi riding a horse wasn't really a "inconsistency" because she spent a month in those Braus stables so of course she'll learn how to ride one in a month.

FALCO FINALLY BECAME A TITAN, SURPRISING NO ONE. OF THE FOLLOWING NAMED MINDLESS “PURE” TITANS, WHICH WILL BE THE ONE FUELING YOUR NIGHTMARES? 1,922 Responses

Perhaps it could be recency bias, but Falco takes the top spot with 31.2% of the fandom deeming him as the most “nightmare fuel” of the pure titans we listed above. 25.4% still abhor the “flaming turkey” or “meatloaf” titan that is Rod Reiss. 20.3% are forever haunted by the Gluttonous Titan.

Armin titan will forever fuel my nightmares, he ate best boi Bertl

Manga Rod Reiss's Titan didn't do much for me. Anime version was the stuff of fucking nightmares.

BEST NAME FOR FALCO'S TITAN FORM? 1,900 Responses

With an… interesting new titan design, it’s time to name it! Just edging out Big Bird, Pac-Man titan is the winner! Third place goes to Muppet Waka Waka, followed by Bob’s Burger Titan.

Absolute Chad

Austrailian Shitposter

Beavis Titan

Canadian Titan

Cheese from Fosters

Giraffe Man Titan

Incel Titan

Leafy Titan

My ex wife

Pelican Titan

Rubber Chicken Titan

YOU GUYS ARE MEAN

DID ZEKE CARE ABOUT COLT OR FALCO? 1,940 Responses

Zeke, who’s not known for his empathy as a defining trait, heard out Colt when he pleaded for Zeke to spare his little brother. 54.8% of you think Zeke cared a little bit, 30.8% thinks he cared a lot, and 14.4% thinks he didn’t care one bit.

When I say Zeke cared a little about Falco and Colt, I do mean *a little*. Like, the littlest little you can care about someone before you care not at all. If Zeke caring was a scale of 0 to 100, he cared about at about a 4.

I really thought Zeke wasnt going to scream

Zeke was self-righteous as usual, nothing new here.

Zeke just shattered his belief that anyone cared enough to possibly aid him in his personal goal to help his little brother.

I think HE thinks he cares, but he’s more attached to the idea of himself as a person who cares and is acting out of compassion for the greater good of eldians and the world, and the truth is he doesn’t have any actual attachment and fondness for them as individuals. The trauma of betraying his parents and eating Xaver rendered him basically incapable of forming true bonds of affection.

Colt developed a considerable bond with the person who was supposed to give him his Titan power in the near future, he had the impression Zeke was not the kind of person to put a child in dire situations, so he tried to remind him of that. He never thought Zeke would do the impossible and turn his brother into a Pure Titan despite telling him the situation. The shock on Colt's face when Zeke apologizes for what he is about to do really shows that.

Fuck Zeke

Maybe Zeke will have a change of heart, maybe he will sulk into a state of depression and failure. I really hope someone convinces Zeke that suffering will always permeate in this world and the only thing he can do is hope for a better ending than how this chapter ended.

zeke is the real life definition of a nutsack

IS THE JAW TITAN’S OWNER ALWAYS DESTINED TO SACRIFICE HIM-/HERSELF? 1,909 Responses

Crazily enough, this was nearly a three-way tie! 33.4% feel that the Jaw titan wasn’t a factor at all in Marcel, Ymir and Porco’s decision to sacrifice themselves for someone else, but rather that’s just the type of people they are. 32.6% feel that the Jaw titan is absolutely a factor, and that it is a trait or the will of this titan to sacrifice itself for others. 31.4% believe that the Jaw Titan’s will drives its holders to protect the Armored Titan only.

It better not be, because that means Falco's next. And we all know who he's constantly protecting with his life…

It‘s coincidence but it‘s ironic how everyone of them sacrificed themselves for Reiner.

I don't know but they need to stop.

It’s the shifter’s choice to sacrifice themselves. It’s not some destiny tf you smoking.

P A T H S

Zeke was given the wrong titan. That's all I have to say.

DO YOU THINK EREN HAD HOPED TO TOUCH ZEKE BEFORE HE COULD SCREAM AND TITANIZE THE MPS AND FALCO? 1,937 Responses

The majority (71.4%) of the fandom are confident that Eren’s expressions and actions are proof that he was hoping to avoid Zeke screaming and titanizing everyone who’s had a swig of the spine wine. 22.5% aren’t sure, or don’t want to say either way, while a smaller percentage feel that Eren probably didn’t care if Zeke screamed, or maybe even planned for it.

For the first time in a while, Eren's face shows that he is not in control of the situation

I think he looked horrified when Zeke screamed, and I want to think that he hoped to use the Founding Titan's power before then. :( I'm also holding out for a reversal of this titanisation IF Eren does survive and manages to touch Zeke.

HOW DO YOU VIEW GABI'S ACTIONS? 1,941 Responses

Gabi has made some questionable decisions in the past, and has been the source of a great deal of controversy. That does not seem to be the case this time around, with ~51% of respondents acknowledging that her actions this chapter seemed to make sense, and an additional ~9% being proudly in her corner waving #GABIGANG flags. Only 8.4% thought that her character development was undone by her latest act of violence… Whether her actions were justified or not, the remaining 31.8% just hope that Gabi is kept away from guns for the foreseeable future.

Gabi's actions are perfectly understandable. She knows sees the Paradis differently but that doesn't mean she sees or understand the person who destroyed her home and killed her friend.

Congratulations Gabi, you have a knack for finding new and inventive ways to utterly RUIN this series for me. You were a mistake that never should have been made.

Eren getting his head blown off is *chef kiss* (Also lol karma)

Eren is my favorite character and even I was like "Gabi did nothing wrong."

LAST MONTH WHEN WE ASKED WHO WAS MOST LIKELY TO DIE, THE WINNERS (LOSERS?) WERE FLOCH (741 VOTES), THE SENIOR MILITARY (650), REINER (598), CONNIE (594), PORCO (588), AND YELENA (583). LET’S TRY AGAIN. WHO’S NEXT TO GO IN THIS BATTLE? 1,918 Responses

Magath and Peick are this month winners for most likely to die next with 20% of the vote each. Floch and Zeke follow with 17.8% and 14% of the vote respectively.

I hope mikasa and armin spare pieck.

I hope that Mikasa and Armin totally destroys Pieck in the next chapter~!

#Zeke_LIVE! #Keep_your_little_brother_safe_you_promised!

I seriously think both Floch and Reiner are going to live to the end. These two especially seem to be really good at surviving, it's been a pattern now

I've recently noticed death flags on Louise since she was introduced, we didn't saw her in this chapter but there are chances that the poor girl will not survive until the end.

Also I'm so glad the fandom was wrong and Falco DIDN'T eat Reiner. However, this chapter is raising massive death flags for Gabi. I hope she won't die next chapter.

Eren is too determined to die. He'll just keep going like a head-less chicken. Like those Cuccos from The Legend of Zelda that refuse to die!

I feel guilty now that in last chapter's poll when it's asked who will die i picked Eren, and now it's a possibility that he's actually dead. But I still want to hug and protect him, my son, even if he's in pieces haha

WHICH EXPECTED UNEXPECTED TWIST ISAYAMA IS GOING TO USE TO KEEP EREN ALIVE? 1,926 Responses

OMG ERENS DEAD NOOOOOOO- well, probably not. Only 5.2% think this is the end of the line for our protagonist. The two most popular options were that he transferred his consciousness, and that Bucket Girl will intervene; with 24.6% and 24.1% respectively.

A mix between being saved by the bucket girl and him transferring his consciousness throughout his body.

Eren is dead, timeloop shenanigans begin.

He uses the last of his power to shift. That, or Zeke catches his head and he uses the founder to grow a new body.

Regeneration: Deadpool style

He will have a long chat with Ymir in the PATHS dimension and rewrite history

Head lands in Zeke’s hand before his brain dies and it’s good enough to count

His consciousness is safe and sound in his left butt cheek.

his consciousness is now in his left testicle

We need explanation about the P A T H S already! Isayama will take advantage of "Eren's death" to let him met the little girl (who everyone here suspects that is indeed Ymir Fritz) and reveal the Great Titan War, The Devil of the Earth, etc etc (and ofc the possibility of seeing him naked again lmao)

Isayama likes Game of Thrones. Therefore, like with Jon Snow, Eren will be kept dead for few chapters (preferably 3 till end of this volume). Then he rises - probably with bucket girl help.

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

The winners for “more favorable” were Porco and Colt with each getting a huge surge in popularity. On the other side of the spectrum were Gabi and Zeke. While most selected “unchanged”, they still had the largest numbers of people indicating they viewed them less favorably after this chapter.

105: "Imma make Gabi the most hated character in the series" 119: "Hold my beer"

Every time when I'm thinking Zeke can't turn any more awful Isayama proves me wrong. That chapter is a really low blow. Just catapult him on lone island far far away from people he can hurt.

I never thought I could hate Zeke more than I already had. But after Colt absolutely humiliated himself to save Falco and Zeke just screamed...As long as Zeke’s alive horrible things will keep happening.

WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,923 Responses

27.2% of respondents are determined to keep the focus in Shiganshina, and don’t care what happens next so long as we aren’t taken off the battlefield just yet. 25% are anxious to hear news on Levi and Hange’s whereabouts and condition. 20.4% are hopeful that Eren will recover and finally be able to touch Zeke. 10.2% are still hanging on for Annie…. Someday she’ll come out….. someday….

I want to see Yelena next. We get this chapter one panel to her and this panel was strange as fuck. Something is up with her and I have the feeling that her existence will playing a huge role in the plot. I don't know, but I hope to get a flashback to her.

ah, yes, this was such a horrifically tragic chapter *sheds tear* .....anyway, now that eren’s injured CAN WE SEE LEVI AND HANJI ??

Chapter 120: "Oh boy, I can't wait to see what happened to Ere-" *MEANWHILE, WITH HANGE AND LEVI...*

Pls dont switch to Levi and hange next chapter

Annie's never going to show up, huh?

I'm itching to see Historia, Levi, and Hange, as always, but what I really want to see in the next chapter is Mikasa's reaction to Eren's decapitation.

Let Eren and Zeke touch already >:v

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,856 Responses

With lots of news on the ending coming out recently, from the final manga exhibition, to Season 4 being announced as the final season, discussion on where the series will end has been very common lately. 44.1% think it will end with 130, next June. 30.3% think it will end a volume later at 134 in October, the same month the final season premiers. 14.1% think it’ll still be going while the final season is airing, going to 138 or beyond. 9.3% think it will end a tad sooner, at 126 in February.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,841 Responses

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

I think there's a possibility that Eren might be dead dead, but his legacy will live through his last wish, supposing Zeke catches his head.

At this point of the story I'm happy Annie is still chilling in her crystal, away from the bloodbath

I never would have thought we would see Falco eating Porco and obtaining the Jaw titan or seeing Eren's head just fuckin fly through the air this chapter was insane.

As much as I dislike Floch, I def do want to see what his reaction will be to Eren’s “death,” even more than I want to see Jean’s and Connie’s tbh.

What I want to know is why do all the people with more use to the story survive when guys like Niccolo who's usefulness to the story ended when the heat from Sasha's death get to stick around?

I don't think Gabi is a bad character, but to me it almost feels like she is just getting in the way of the story progressing. I do however think her actions are understandable for her character, but from a reader's perspective it annoys me.

*Whispers* Ok, but is it possible Porco's alive? and maybe Colt can pull an Armin or survive via P A T H S Magic?

Flying head memes are the best

I was astonished at what a weight it lifted off my chest and how much more forgiving I could be after seeing Eren “I’m too good to tell anyone my plan, I work alone and I’ve always hated you” Jaeger fail so hard that Zeke screamed, Connie, Jean, Armin, and Mikasa all had to save Eren, and he was “killed” by a twelve-year-old.

I actually didn't hate Gabi at first despite killing Sasha. But now whatever development she had is gone and since she is now established as a murderer, I am now aboard the "I Hate Gabi" train.

God, I really hope the next chapter is good because it's at a really pivotal point that could make or break this last arc.

I am very willing to make allowances for the inconsistencies so the chapter itself was very good in my opinion. The story progressed well, awesome action sequences, expectations subverted, suffering continued; therefore, good chapter.

I don't think Eren will return physically, but his presence will remain somehow through PATHS. The title of this manga is Shingeki no Kyojin, not Eren, so the story can resolve itself with the Attack Titan being inherited and Eren's memories explored.

It's a little rushed, but I like the idea and hope Isayama can pull these loose strands together to create an impactful finale.

I don't understand all this Gabi hate. Eren has always been a threat to her eyes : in Liberio's Festival when he brought by his actions death to her home and friends, in the room where he was odious to Armin and Mikasa and threatening them with a wound on his hand, when Pieck -who explained to her the world isn't black and white- designed him as the enemy and here, and here right before her child eyes, because of his and Zeke's plan, Gabi is there when Falco transforms into a titan, killing Colt in the process. It's understandable she was angry and reacted like that.

I know eren isnt dead, but idk how isayama is gonna pull it off without it feeling cheap

I liked it and it was very surprising! Tho it’s time Historia is shown again and Levi and Hange need to come back very soon as well.

I feel like a worrying number of readers seem to have somehow missed the fact Eren is meant to be a major antagonist of this arc lol

I'm torn over that ending. It had the potential to be such a powerful moment, but it just didn't do it for me.

I've never been so upset at a characters death before, not even Armins... Like Jean said to Eren about Marco: "Not everyone gets to go out in a blaze of glory." What a horrible way to go

Isayama delivers every single month.

Isayama. . . Eren internal monologue. . . . . . . when?

I'm excited to see what comes next, but I'd like to jump back to characters like Levi, Hange, Annie, and Historia first so that everyone can come together for a big finale. You can feel that the manga is reaching its conclusion.

Commander Pixis turning into a titan sigh so long dog. All the commanders except Hanje kicked the bucket

Oh boy. This chapter had me bawling. Colt and Porco' s deaths hit me hard. "Your big brother will be with you, always"....damn that hurt.

Shits going down and I'm here hoping to see Armin transforms just to piss Reiner off

Such a mindblowing chapter, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was utterly speechless when Eren's head flew off. Isayama the madlad

Interesting seeing Porco receive path memories From Eren via Porco. The coordinate is the key to getting vivid memories from past shifters which almost certainly means Eren has access to Kruger’s memories with a little help from Historia.

Wouldn't it be funny if they suddenly cut to Levi and Hange for the next few months

WOW, this chapter was absolutely nerve-wracking! This one may just be the biggest emotional roller coaster ride yet with all those major character deaths and that jaw-dropping cliffhanger!

The start of every month sees a spike in my blood pressure as well as how much I pray while opening my browser to check if the latest chapter is up. Thanks, Isayama. Not only have you made me more religious, you've also made me more stressed out about a manga than exams and applications.

#snk spoilers #snk poll #snk polls #poll results #snk 119

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