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chumpmagump · 3 years

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24 things you've learned about your 24th year on this planet. 1. After having lots of trouble with love and loss, I've learned I will be ok. Remember you are growing into the woman you are are piece by piece.. reclaiming the person you were before the rest of them thought it was okay to take you away from yourself and you thought it was okay to let them. Many will come and go, but you dont have to lose a piece of yourself with them. Be strong, don't let them. 2. It is okay to love someone but not like them. It is okay to have compassion and empathy yet still hold your ground that you deserve better treatment. Compassion is not synonymous with lack of boundaries. 3. After talking to your therapist and doing some hardcore reflection you know you show traits of bipolar disorder or borderline personality. Your therapist thinks its bipolar, you're pretty sure its BPD.. this hurts because BPD is stigmatised to the shit house - you would almost rather have bipolar. You work in a hospital where BPD presentations are rampant and you diagnose them in your assessments a lot. Your coworkers like to say things like '' we got another borderline up in ED...'' as if its a massive inconvenience. You feel kind of weird being a 'quiet' borderline because you function quite well but know you have this fucked up secret that you keep from others for fear of judgement. Your behaviour isnt affecting your functioning enough to warrant a diagnosis. But that doesnt mean your experience isnt true. You're good at recognising when your triggered and where it originates from, and actively pull back more and more from impulsive decisions. You can sit with your emotion at times and you've stopped abusing phenergan and have been self harm clean for almost a year now? so yay for you regulating more of yourself! 4. You realise searching for validation only leads to experiences of invalidation. Stop doing it. 5. You're good at empathising to a point where you find it hard to be angry at others for long, you sometimes tolerate too much because you can reason with the persons reasoning for acting the way they are. You shouldnt mistake this for respect, because its not. You still need self-respect. 6. Making spontaneous choices has led to some new experiences, like changing jobs, moving towns, meeting new people. You've learned you've missed out a lot in your last 5 years of 20 hood because of fear of rejection/anxiety/ unsafe situation phobia. but now thats all you want to do, you fear staying static for too long more than you do change. You're ready for new exciting things. 7. Friendships matter way more than romance ever will. Build your friendships and you will always feel connected and OK no matter what the status of your dating life is. 8. Going for solitude car trips with your music blaring, singing meaningfully, on a road in the dark to no particular, with no particular deadline is your muse. You spend a lot of time in your thoughts and with yourself, and sometimes you imagine being in company when the loneliness hits. But funnily enough when company does finally arrive, you yearn for the space you had with yourself. Honour that time. 9. What you make of this life literally doesnt fucking matter. You will be born again. You will never get another chance to be in this body, with this family, with these friends, in this place, at this time though. Do whatever you can to enrich your experience and dont worry about if other people are having a better time. Concern yourself with your own experience. 10. You validate yourself. Stop asking your friends what you think you should do about a situation, dont feel the need to tell them every situaiton thats going on with you to hear their perspective. Listen to your own voice. You dont listen to her enough. 11. You dont actually have to put up with people being rude to you anymore, you can voice that things bother you. You're not quite there when it comes to friends you dont know too well.. or family you know blow up easily, but you're less of a people pleaser somewhat and i'm proud

of you for that effort.

12. You realise you need to stop seeking validation that others have hurt you. If it hurts it hurts. Simple as that. 13. Trust a person by their actions waaaaaaaaaaaay more than their words. And give a person 6 months. They tend to send their representative first for a while. 14. Sometimes you dream up people without knowing first who they are. Its ok to do this but don't be surprised when they dont fit the version you had of them in your head. Sometimes living in fantasy is far more intoxicating than what comes to fruition. Sometimes i wish i only knew some people for the period of time where they were warm to my heart.

15. Keep going to therapy, its doing amazing things and slowly but surely helping you change your procedurally learned patterns of behaviour including the desire and panic to want to fix social relationships that sometimes shouldnt be fixed. If someone did something shitty to you, and they are upset with YOU , for whatever reason- this does not mean what they did to you is void. It may even mean they are deflecting and gaslighting you. Get out of there and you know dont like goodbyes of any kind. so in this case slowly drop off contact. 16. people cant read your mind with how your feeling, so tell them.. what they do with that information is on them after that.

17. you dont have to take pictures of everything. You will remember the experience more if you dont. 18. Drink your damn coffee!! its not going to stain your teeth anymore. you are so diligent with your skin and teeth care, you deserve to live a little.

19. Dont have sex with friends, just dont. its messy.

20. Just because someone doesnt choose you, doesnt mean you arent good enough. It means they're blind, theyre not meant for you, or better doors are opening. Sometimes you need to shut a few doors for some to open. Trust the process. 21. Its time to start doing the things yu have said you were going to do for years. Its time to sign up for that dance class, its time to start writing again (and you have been!), its time to start stretching (and you have been!), its time to finish your courses (and you have been chipping away!). The best thing is you are so motivated right now to do all of these things. They no longer feel like words, they feel like happenings. 22. Your body and mind is so much stronger than you think. You are managing a 23 + caseload, and working across emergency and intake. You sometimes dont have a lunch break and work 9 hour days at times. You still have the ability to relay information and type notes at great speed, connect with clients at a great depth and come to eat, shower and have been dedicating time to study and friends. Your body is a machine, and you are so much more robust than you give yourself credit for. People look at you and see a small petite typical white girl, but you are strength! 23. You have learned sex can be a safe and very enjoyable experience this year very recently. Even though the partner turned out to be a careless character emotionally within the friendship, you were able to experience what it was like to be that connected with someone sensually in such an intense way which was a first for you. Now you know what kind of sex you like - well you always did but now you know it exists. Good for you.

24. You spend the most time by yourself with yourself. Validate your own experiences and try to interrupt the fantasy that you should be waiting for someone else to enhance or witness it. i know you like to think about what it would be like to sing in the car with someone next to you, or to laugh about a ridiculous vine and hear someone elses laughter drown out your own, or to dance around your house and have someone watch you in awe... but its okay to be your own witness. This is one is probably the hardest ones of them all... All you've ever wanted is to feel seen. You fantasize about it all time, you live in fantasy because atleast you can always feel seen there. You're not so sure if you put yourself out there you'll leave feeling more discarded and invisible than before. This way its safer. It's time to witness you. It's time for 25. A year full of spontaneity, new experiences, enhanced friendships, self validation and enormous growth.

It's finally time to stop hiding from people, pleasurable experiences and desire.

It's time for 25.

#august 2021 #birthday #reflections #journal #25th

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patandpran · 3 years

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Hard to Say Good-bye

What if Pang hadn't gone to Namtaan in the last episode and went to see Wave on their rooftop instead?

Aka the fix-it fic that has been living in my brain for weeks. Sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands.

Written for Day 8 of #thegiftedWeek for the ‘other’ prompt.

Pang looked out the window of the classroom and observed the school courtyard below. Looking back, so much had changed during his time at Ritdha and he had learned so much in such a little time, about himself and about the world.

He couldn’t believe he had to say goodbye.

In his pocket, Pang’s phone buzzed. He pulled out his phone and saw a text from Wave:

Rooftop.

Pang immediately felt a wave of anxiety roll over him. A smile tugged at his lips as he charged from the classroom to he and Wave’s secret meeting place. The shared space was their safe haven. It provided them an oasis among all the madness that they had experienced in their time in the Gifted Program and at Ritdha.

He bounded up the stairs and burst out onto the rooftop. He paused at the threshold of the doorway and saw Wave staring out at the campus stoically. Wave was always so still when Pang felt like he was constantly in motion: they were perfect opposites, as always.

“Wave.”

The calling of his name made Wave stir and turn to face Pang, leaning his back against the edge of the rooftop. Pang used to worry that someone might topple over the side of the building but that fear had long been extinguished. Although it was the first time he had been up to the roof after seeing Korn jump from the window and this realization momentarily sent shivers down Pang’s spine.

A welcoming smile spread across Wave’s lips as Pang approached him. This melted any nerves that Pang was feeling immediately. There was something about Wave’s presence that felt Pang was being wrapped in a warm blanket every time he saw him. Wave made him feel at peace, even in the most chaotic of times.

Wave turned his head to the side curiously, “I didn’t know where you were.You weren’t in our dorm room or the Gifted Headquarters. I figured that you’d be up here but… you weren’t here either.”

“I was just kind of wandering aimlessly to be honest.” Pang explained as he leaned his elbows down onto the edge. “I have a lot on my mind after everything.”

Wave’s gaze softened slightly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Pang breathed out a long breath and forced a smile to appear on his lips. “Wave. We’ve been over this a million times. I’m fine.”

“Well, it’s the million and oneth time and I still don’t believe you.” Wave continued and leaned forward to mirror Pang’s stance so that their shoulder brushed together.

The contact made Pang still slightly. He had been so eager to come find Wave and now that he was here, everything that he wanted to say seemed out of place. They only had a few days left together and Pang couldn’t seem to form one sentence to share about how he was feeling with Wave. He had never been particularly eloquent with words but this felt different. All of the things that he wanted to say would change everything and he wondered if it even made sense to say them out loud when they had such little time remained.

Pang looked out at the school grounds and was flooded with memories of his time in the Gifted Program. They were some of the happiest moments of his life but some of the most troubling as well. He tried to look back at every experience he had endured as a learning experience but some of what the Gifted students had been subjected to because of Director Supot wasn't something that you could chalk up to a life lesson.

Thankfully, through everything, someone had been by his side.

A constant that kept Pang’s head above water when he felt like he was seconds away from drowning.

Wave.

While Wave and Pang had not exactly seen eye to eye for most of their first year in the Gifted Program, Wave had still been a force to be reckoned with that kept Pang driven and engaged with his lessons. Wave’s brutal honesty had been a great source of inspiration for Pang to work diligently to discover his Potential. When they finally realized that they ultimately had the same issues with how the Gifted Program was functioning, all of the energy that they had used being in opposition to one another was quickly fuelled into a working partnership.

It didn’t take Wave and Pang long to realize that they made much better friends than enemies.

When Pang lost his memory, it had been a trying experience for both of them. Wave had wanted to approach Pang and beg for his friend back every time they crossed paths but Ohm thankfully kept Wave on track. When Pang finally regained his memories, Wave had never been more relieved.

But nothing they had faced in the past prepared them for their final year at Ritda. For every small victory they gained, there had been much more damage to follow. Some of the which they thought was fatal for a time.

When Pang was forced to disappear, Wave felt like everything faded to grey. Of course, it didn’t take long for Wave to find Pang but the time where Wave was unsure of where Pang was had been torturous. During that time, the Gifted Group had scattered to the wind, and both Wave and Pang’s only solace was found in each other. This had only made their bond that much deeper.

But Wave could not be by Pang’s side all the time, especially in the final moments of Supot’s takedown. There was no way for Wave to know what Pang had witnessed throughout those separated moments but he knew that Pang’s scars from such encounters would take a long time to heal.

Their plan relied on Supot believing that the Gifted Gang was broken so, even though they thrived as a united front, they all had their own roles to play to make the Director believe they were all apart. Everything had been so unpredictable but the important part was that they had ultimately succeeded.

“It’s in the past.” Pang shared and stood up to his full height. “What matters right now is the present. That’s all I want to focus on.”

“If that’s what you want.” Wave nodded slowly. “I guess we have all the time in the world to talk about the past when you’re ready.”

Pang’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Wait… what do you mean? School is over in a few days.”

A panicked look passed over Wave’s face and he bit his lip as if he regretted what he had just said. He stood up and nervously adjusted his glasses before shoving his hands into his pockets. “Uhh…. never mind… I guess I shouldn’t assume anything.”

“Assume what?” Pang’s mind was reeling. What had suddenly made Wave so uncomfortable?

A smattering of pink appeared on the bridge of Wave’s nose as he avoided Pang’s imploring gaze. The tech wizard started to rock back and forth on his heels, a habit that Pang knew was an indication Wave’s nerves.

“Wave.” Pang urged gently and reached out for his friend’s wrist. Pang guided one of Wave’s hands out of his pocket and squeezed it light. “Just like you said before, you can tell me anything.”

Wave let out a small sigh before he relaxed slightly. “Do you remember the conversation that we had the other day about university?”

Pang’s mouth grew dry. With everything going on with the Gifted Program, Pang still had done nothing about applying for university. Life was too crazy and every time he had opened up the applications, it had felt much too daunting to take on. He figured he would just take a gap year and figure it out from there, even though his family would not be too happy with that reality.

“I…haven’t done anything about applying for schools.” Pang admitted and immediately felt guilty. “I know we talked about going together but it’s just been too much…”

Wave seemed quite calm about Pang’s response. In fact, he didn’t seem surprised at all.

“Wait… Wave.” Pang blurted out. “What did you do?”

“I, uh, may or may not have taken the liberty of using my Potential to help us both apply for every university that was remotely appropriate for our grades and interests…” Wave explained slowly.

Pang’s eyes grew wide and he dropped Wave’s hand in surprise. “Wave…”

Wave winced and started to ramble. “I knew I should have asked you first but life was getting so crazy with Supot and there were deadlines and it literally took me no time at all to access all your transcripts. You know how important it is to me for us to be together… anyway I’m sorry… I should have asked you first and I can retract all of them, even though we both got accepted a few places which means we definitely would be together and I just think that’s for the best and I don’t know how I would handle university without you and… Ultimately, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know where to start.” Pang muttered. “With the fact that I think I just heard you apologize for the first time ever or with the fact that I actually got accepted to university. But actually… the thing that sticks out to me the most is the fact that you want us to stay together… What does that mean Wave?”

Somehow Wave’s blush grew even deeper and he leaned his elbows down onto the edge again. “You know what it means, Pang.”

Pang wished that Wave would look at him as it would maybe help him to confirm what Wave was actually implying. Pang didn’t want to share what he hoped Wave meant if that wasn’t how his friend was actually feeling.

In that moment, Pang decided to take a risk. He had endured so much uncertainty in the past few years but there was one thing he was sure of… how he felt about Wave. He constantly wanted to be near his friend and over the past few months, his feelings had only grown stronger.

They were on their rooftop. Their safe space. If Pang was going to boldly share the true nature of his feelings for Wave, this was the place and time to do it.

Pang reached once again for Wave’s hand but instead of taking his friend’s wrist this time, he gently took both of Wave’s hand in his own. There had been many moments that Pang had felt the urge to hold Wave’s hand but he had never acted upon the impulse. He was glad he had been brave enough to follow through on the instinct this time.

“I hope I’m right about what you mean because this will be embarrassing if I’m not.” Pang murmured as he lightly squeezed Wave’s hands.

Pang heard Wave’s breath hitch in surprise but he continued on anyway, “I can’t speak for you but I know how I feel about you… maybe I’m reading this all wrong but I just know that I want to be around you all the time and when I’m not, I feel this pull in me to find you again. I want us to be together next year too.”

“Just next year?” Wave blurted out but then a self-conscious look appeared on his face.

Pang chuckled fondly at Wave’s response before answering, “Well, longer than that… if you’ll have me…”

A smile stretched across Wave’s lips and he seemed to relax slightly. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about that.”

A comfortable silence fell between them. Pang studied Wave and saw that Wave’s gaze had fallen toward his own lips. The realization made Pang have the urge to lean forward but he still wasn’t completely sure if his and Wave’s feelings were the same.

“When I say I want us to be together.” Wave’s eyes met Pang’s once again. “I hope it’s clear that I mean as more than friends.”

The elation that instantly spread throughout Pang set him slightly off kilter. He was glad he was holding onto Wave’s hands to anchor him to something - to keep him grounded. He was struggling to keep his composure and to string together a response that was either coherent or appropriate for Wave’s confession.

“And… if that’s not what you mean, I’ll back off.” The hurt was evident in Wave’s eyes and he pulled his hands away from Pang’s.

Pang began to panic. He couldn’t lose Wave over something like this and he knew how damaging it was to Wave to believe that someone was leaving him. Wave had often opened up to Pang about how difficult it had been to learn to trust again after so many significant people in his life had betrayed him or disappeared from his life.

“Wave.” Pang blurted out urgently, advancing upon Wave and gently taking Wave’s chin in his hands. “Of course I feel the same way. How could I not? I mean… you’re you and I’m me… it just makes sense.”

The look of relief on Wave’s face was palpable. Both Pang and Wave quickly became aware of how close their faces were together. The proximity made Pang’s hands tremble and everything seemed to come into perfect focus.

“Pang.” Wave’s voice was shaky. “Just kiss me.”

Pang didn’t have to be asked twice. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Wave’s. It was as if, in that moment, everything fell into place. Every shred of doubt, anxiety and negativity dissipated and all that remained was: Wave. Wave. Wave.

When they finally separated, both Pang and Wave couldn’t stop smiling. Wave turned away and looked out at the school campus.

“You know, weirdly, I’m going to miss this place.” Wave murmured. “I hate good-byes.”

Pang slung his arm over Wave’s shoulder and shared, “Good thing we only have to say good-bye to the school. We still have each other.”

“I forgot how corny you can be.” Wave rolled his eyes.

“You love it.” Pang responded before sticking his tongue out playfully at Wave.

“I hate that I do.” Wave scoffed.

Both Pang and Wave stared out at the Ritdha campus. There was so much that had happened while they were there and they had survived it all because they had had one another. Pang doubted that they would have been able to get through it all if they had been forced to face it alone.

“Can we just stay like this for a while?” Wave questioned quietly. “I’m not ready to go yet.”

Pang nodded in agreement and Wave rested his head on Pang’s shoulder.

While there was so much that Pang wasn’t sure of, he was sure of one thing: he would never say goodbye to Wave, no matter what came their way.

#pangwave #the gifted #pang x wave #the gifted graduation #tgg #my writing #cass writes

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drabbledragon · 4 years

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Linktober: Surprise

This post is very close to the day 4 deadline but honestly, I had a lot of fun creating and tampering with the plot! Be cautious, though, because there is quite a bit of violence in this one.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749021/chapters/65454667

Summary: A new friend is brought to camp, and it surprises a certain Ordonian

Warnings: Some violence

Day 4: Surprise

It was a surprisingly cold day out, Twilight mused, although that’s to be expected as the season goes further into fall. The cold, crisp air and colorful leaves reminded him of his home back in Ordon Village; if memory serves, he would be harvesting Ordonian pumpkins with Fado right now.

He sighed wistfully and tended to the campfire with a long stick. He wondered how everyone back home was doing. Beth, Talo, Malo, and certainly Colin missed him, and he was sure Fado was struggling to herd all the goats back into their house without his and Epona’s help. And of course there was his mentor, Rusl - well, one of his mentors, he supposed, now that he met Time - along with his wife, Uli, who were most likely busy taking care of their newborn child; it’s a shame that he was never able to meet their new baby, but if he knew anything about Rusl, he would excitedly tell Twilight all about his child from sunup to sundown.

And how could he forget Midna? Their meeting may have happened by chance but he felt that they were destined to meet. They had grown to be close friends during their travels across Hyrule - maybe even more than that - and not a single day goes by where he doesn’t think about her. He wondered what would happen if he managed to say what was on his mind before she disappeared into the Mirror of Twilight; if his thoughts and feelings would be enough to make her stay, or allow him to live in the Twilight Realm alongside her. He could only speculate at this point.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when a tan snout poked at his shoulder.

“Wild, is that a bear?!” He shouted, and he looked up to see his protege sitting idly on the creature’s back, a goofy grin on his face.

“Yeah, isn’t it great? I was out looking for herbs when I found a bear following me around! He looked like he was hungry so I did a little bit of fishing for him -”

Which meant Wild had jumped into a river, Twilight frowned, again.

“- And then we became best friends! Like he watched me cook them by the fire and everything! Although he was starting to lose his patience towards the end.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if a bear watching him cook was just another daily occurrence. “ Anyways, did you know he’s a big fan of Hearty Salmon? I’m more of a Voltfin Trout guy myself but to each their own, y’know?”

Twilight was barely able to make it through the whole story without pinching the bridge of his nose, “ Wild, you can’t just bring a bear to camp. You know full - well that that thing likes to go through food and attack anything it sees moving.”

“But he won’t, I promise!” The smile from Wild’s face had now given way to a defensive look, “ He’s very polite and friendly and hasn’t done anything to hurt me at all! Plus you always let dogs and cats follow you around, and you don’t even care when Legend brings a whole flock of seagulls to camp!”

The Hero of Legend stopped whatever he was doing at the mention of his name and gave the two a pointed look, “ Hey, you two leave the seagulls out of this.” But he was paid no mind.

“That’s because cats, dogs, and seagulls aren’t actively trying to maul me to death!” The Ordonian’s voice dropped to a lower volume in order to prevent the others from overhearing. “ You know how many times I almost got killed by a bear? Eight, and five of those times were as a wolf. The last thing I need right now is to make that number nine, or to have anyone die thanks to some idiot bringing a bear into camp. Really, you’re like the only one here who’s constantly putting us in danger.”

Perhaps he went too far on that one. He watched all the fight leave his protege like a potion being drained of its contents, giving way to wide eyes and a pale complexion.

“Wait, Cub, I didn’t -”

But Wild didn’t want to hear it. With a gentle tug of the bear’s fur, the Hero of Wilds nudged his companion towards the forest and left, not a single hint of hesitance shown in his actions.

Twilight watched as the figure disappeared behind tall trees and overgrown bushes, and a large part of him just wanted to shift into his Twili form and run after their trail, but he paused instead.

Wait, why should Twilight go after him? Sure, he’s his mentor and all and he feels like he has a personal obligation to protect the kid but now that he thinks about it, hasn’t he been coddling him too much? Too many times has he taken to his Twili form to find a lost Wild that had wandered to the other half of a Hyrule just because he had a need for adventure, and too many times had he had to answer to Time for the crazy stunt his charge had decided to pull just for curiosity’s sake. Despite being 117 years old, Wild acted like a child - a feral child, at that - that would rather spend the whole day messing around in an open field rather than helping the people who needed him the most.

He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. Seriously, how was Wild supposed to grow up and take responsibility for himself if Twilight was always there to bail him out? Maybe it’s about time for the Hero of Wilds to learn that he can’t just do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He’ll learn in due time, Twilight assured himself, and he’ll be back by tonight for sure.

With that being said, he turned his back and went to go tend to the fire.

Wild wasn’t back that night. Everything seemed well among the remaining heroes, though: Warriors and Legend were locked in their usual banter, Wind and Four were telling exaggerated stories about their adventures, and Sky, Time, and Hyrule were all idly sitting by, amused by everyone’s antics; the only real difference tonight was Twilight and Wild, where the latter was nowhere to be found and the former worried profusely about his charge’s absence.

Twilight restlessly tapped his foot against the ground and stared into what Hyrule would call dinner. Seriously, where was Wild? The Ordonian thought that he would be back in maybe two, three hours max but it had been ten hours, and there was still no sign of him. Had he gotten hurt? Was he attacked by a hoard of Darias or Gerus that Hyrule often warned them about? Had a Zora grabbed him by the ankle and drowned him in a river? Twilight knew that his protege was very friendly towards Zoras so it really wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities.

“Go.”

He looked up to Time and stuttered out, “ H - Huh?”

Without ever shifting his gaze from the fire, he quietly whispered to his protege, “You’re worried about the cub, aren’t you? So you should go and find him; I’ll cover for you in the meantime.”

He processed the words for a few seconds, and then nodded. The old man was right: no matter how irresponsible, thoughtless, and careless Wild could be at times, he was still his protege, and as his mentor, Twilight should be there with him every step of the way, ready to help him up when he couldn’t find his footing in a situation. He left the group without so much as a sound, and as soon as he was out of sight, transformed into his Twili form and left, fervently following the scent of the former champion’s trail.

It had been about ten minutes by the time Twilight had finally found Wild. He was located in a small clearing of trees with, oddly enough, his bear companion laying down next to him; there was a small campfire going with a makeshift pot held over it, and the wolf could easily smell the tantalizing taste of Salmon Risotto.

He shook his head: this wasn’t the time to be salivating over the smell of real food. With a gentle command to his Shadow Crystal, his form shifted to that of a Hylian’s.

“Cub, I -”

Go away, Wild signed, and as if to emphasize, the large bear beside him growled.

The Ordonian immediately took a two steps back and sighed. This was going to be hard: not only did he have to worry about his friend fleeing if he got too close, but he also had to worry about a bear potentially running up and attacking him, and he really didn’t feel like defending himself from a creature twice his size. He finally chose to settle himself on the ground instead, intent on making himself seem as small and non - threatening as possible.

“Listen, I didn’t mean anything I said back there, alright? We got stranded in Hyrule’s Hyrule, we’ve been travelling for days, infected monsters are always showing up and trying to kill us, and I guess I was thinking about what was going on back home, so I was just really stressed out this afternoon. When you brought a bear to camp, I guess that was the final straw and I just took out all my anger on you. I mean, yeah, you really shouldn’t bring a bear of all things to a camp but that thing about you always putting us into trouble was completely wrong. If anything, we put ourselves into trouble, and it has nothing to do with you being here.”

He watched anxiously as his protege stirred the pot, never daring to meet Twilight’s own concerned gaze. He could see the bear beside Wild carefully watching him, paws resting readily on the ground as if it was anticipating for the Hero of Twilight’s one bad slip - up. After what seemed like centuries, the former champion finally let go of his ladle and brought his hands up to sign again,

You’re wrong, and that made Twilight lean forward, my whole life’s been nothing but bringing trouble to everyone. Back when my Hyrule wasn’t destroyed, everything I ever did just made things worse: I followed Zelda around, and she hated me; I protected people from danger, and now the Yiga are trying to kill me; I did everything I possibly could to prevent Zelda from dying, and I literally ended up dying right in the middle of Fort Hateno, and I was lucky that Impa was willing to put me in the Shrine of Resurrection. Now I’m here with eight different Links from eight different timelines and it looks like everywhere I go, trouble always follows. Just two weeks ago I led a bunch of Bokoblins to us because I took a couple of their weapons, and then five days ago I dyed Warriors’s hair green because I tossed him a green potion and it hit a branch and spilled all over him.

“Well that could happen to anyone,” Twilight interrupted, “ Those bottles are fragile so one small hit and they’ll shatter.”

Fine, but what about everything else? The Yiga, my Zelda, my Hyrule - everything’s a mess because I can’t get my life together; I can’t even remember what my life was like in the first place!

“That’s different! The part about your Hyrule being destroyed is all Ganon’s fault, not yours!”

Then why couldn’t I live up to be a true Hero of Courage like the rest of you? Why couldn’t I just stop this whole thing from happening in the first place?

Twilight was growing frustrated. Where was Wild getting the notion that he could’ve prevented an immortal evil demon from corrupting his Guardians? He was just a 17 year old kid back then, for Hylia’s sake!

He opened his mouth to respond back, retort at the ready, when a sudden axe whizzed by and lodged itself into the tree behind him. His surprised gaze quickly met Wild’s for a brief moment before he abruptly stood up, Ordonian sword at the ready. Just a few seconds later, a horde of snarling enemies pushed their way from the forest and surrounded the heroes from all sides.

The Hero of Twilight knitted his brows as he slowly stepped back toward the center of the clearing, “ Darias? But I thought Hyrule said they only show up around Death Mountain!”

“Infected.” Was all Wild whispered back, but Twilight completely understood. It had become a common occurrence by now to see monsters that they were sure only showed up in one place and one timeline now showing up all over different eras; and as if some of them having to fight monsters that they never encountered before wasn’t enough, the enemies’ blood seemed to make them stronger, allowing them to have the upperhand on any poor passerby they could fight.

And it looks like Twilight and Wild were a couple of those poor passersby.

The Hero of Twilight swiftly leaned his head away as one of the Darias swung its axe and in the same breath, the former pierced its chest and forced his sword up, causing the enemy to crumple to the ground in defeat. He rose his sword out of the corpse and grimaced: black blood, these are infected.

He perked up when he heard the dull thuds of feet running towards him and ducked just in time to avoid a monster from either side going to swing at him with their respective axes. He winced when the sound of two heads clunking filled the quiet night air and hastily got back onto his feet to slash at the two Darias writhing on the ground.

He felt light on his feet as he continued to attack the oncoming enemies. Some came to attack him on their own while others stayed stubbornly in pairs, but the process was all the same regardless: step, lean, duck, sidestep, block, spin, and end his foe with a well - practiced stab. If there were two coming at him, he just needed to be quicker, and that was no problem for a hero who was used to facing five Shadow Beasts at a time.

Every now and then he would catch a quick glimpse of his protege fighting just a few steps beside him, and just like always, every attack was graceful and cleverly calculated. The Ordonian grinned: Wild may act like a child at times, but he took his fighting seriously, and it showed through his undeterred concentration. No enemy should have ever made the mistake of crossing paths with the Champion of Hyrule.

The last enemy fell down in a graceless heap, and Twilight wasted no time in ending its life with an Ending Blow. There was something poetic about it, he mused as he sheathed his sword, ending a battle with an attack that his predecessor had taught him long ago.

He took an eager step forward towards his protege, congratulatory praises at the ready, when a scaled hand reached from behind and dug into his shoulder.

“Twilight!”

Wild’s shocked shriek rang through the air and Twilight had to do everything in his power to make sure that his pained yelp didn’t join it. His other hand scrambled to grab at the Daria’s wrist and when he did, he used every bit of energy he had left to force it back. The threat of an axe raised just above his head made adrenaline rush through his veins, and he became acutely aware of the blood running down his shoulder and soaking into his tunic; but he couldn’t pay any mind to it, because he needed to focus on biding time for a panicked Wild so he could swipe through his Sheikah Slate and find the weapon he needed.

But he didn’t need to wait for that because in a blink of an eye, a rush of brown fur dug its fangs into the enemy’s side and pushed its body aside, freeing the Hero of Twilight from the Daria’s grip. He watched the brown mass - which he now noticed was Wild’s bear companion - tear at the infected foe with sharp white claws and no mercy. The animal finally stepped back when the creature had been torn to shreds, and took a few seconds to make sure it was dead.

Twilight’s breath hitched when the bear started to pad towards him. He wouldn’t necessarily say that he had a fear of bears per se, but the sight of the very same creature that liked to use him for hunting practice was walking towards him did tend to make him feel a little bit unnerved.

However, to his complete and utter surprise, instead of the animal coming over to attack him, it instead gently nudged at his side and whined.

He froze. Was this bear trying to comfort him?

And with that very same suspicion in mind, the Hero of Twilight reached his free hand forward and tentatively placed it on the creature’s head, ruffling the fur in the same way the other Links did when he was a wolf.

“You saved me back there,” He smiled sincerely, “ Thank you.”

The creature yawned back in response.

He startled when he felt a gentle hand touch his good shoulder, and turned just in time to see the Hero of Wilds offering him a red potion.

“For your shoulder,” He urged, and when he saw his mentor ready to protest, he added in a quick, “ Don’t worry, I got 25 more in my bag.”

Twilight drank it greedily, and felt its healing effects immediately. He could dimly feel the gentle knitting of skin beneath his tunic, and when he looked at the injury, he found that there was nothing left but a few white scars; but even those would fade in a day or so.

He looked to see the former champion staring at the ground with his curtain of hair hiding his eyes, “ Jeeze, that was stupid of me. I should’ve kept an extra set of arrows at the ready; I could’ve helped you the second that Daria got you.”

“You did help me, well -” The Ordonian patted the bear standing quietly beside him. “ - your bear helped me, but you know what I mean. Sure, the thing saved me and all but if it wasn’t for you taming him in the first place, I wouldn’t have a ten foot tall animal here to save me. So really, because of you, I avoided getting an axe to the head.”

The Hero of Wilds beamed at him and for some reason, his small smile reminded him of Colin’s back home.

Ah, he wondered how Ordon Village was doing back home; how much Colin, Beth, Talo, and Malo grew up while he was away, and how Rusl and Uli were doing with their newborn, and how Mayor Bo and Ilia were running and keeping the town safe, and how Fado was doing with preparing the ranch for the winter; and how could he forget Midna? The leader of the Twili, the one who was always there to guide him on his adventure, the one he had grown to love. He missed them all dearly, but he knew he wasn’t alone.

Twilight ruffled a hand through his protege’s hair, “ Y’know, as much trouble as you are, I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

Because when Wild laughed, he was reminded that the Hero of Wilds was his family, too, and he would do anything to protect the ones he loved.

#linkeduniverse #hero of twilight #hero of wilds #fanfic #linktober2020

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

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Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 20

Word Count: 3714

POV: Reader

Warnings: Maybe language, not entirely sure, and smut

Notes: Sorry these updates are taking me longer than normal. It’s been a crazy schedule the last few months. I hope to be more consistent after the holidays. I’m working on the proposal chapter now. Can’t wait to share it with you all. Peace, Love and Hugs!

The week that Tyler was gone, could only be described as a week from hell. If you weren’t working late, you were rushing out of work to let the dogs out before heading over to one of the other wives and girlfriends house to watch the game. The only way you made it through the week, was telling yourself you would spend the weekend on the couch, just you and the pups. That was until Friday afternoon and the Stars Foundation called asking for your help with a children’s hospital fundraiser. There was no way you could say no; nor did you want to, but there went your relaxing weekend with the dogs. Then to top that off, your boss stuck you with an unrealistic deadline of Monday, for a project that would normally take at least a week.

By the time Sunday night rolled around, you were exhausted. So much so, that when Tyler finally facetimed you; you barely had the energy to answer. You were drowning in a mountain of papers when you answered. “Hey babe. How are things in Boston?”

“Much better than they are in Dallas. Baby, I love you; but you look worn-out. Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m just tired that’s all. It’s been a really long week between work and Stars stuff.” You shifted some papers around looking for the one you needed. “And I’ll be up half the night trying to finish this project for work.”

“Have you eaten today?”

“Ummm yeah, I grabbed a sandwich a while ago.” He didn’t need to know that, that was around one in the afternoon and it was now ten at night. You hated to admit it, but you were in over your head at the moment, and all you wanted was to curl up to the guy that was on the other end of the phone. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too (Y/N), but I really feel like you’re not taking care of yourself at the moment. Why don’t you set that project aside and get some sleep.” It was a statement more than a question and he was right. Over the last several days you’d totally neglected yourself and the baby over work and other commitments. If you didn’t start putting yourself first, the baby could suffer and you would never forgive yourself.

“You’re right.” You picked up the phone, walked out of the office and into the kitchen. “I am going to bed, as soon as I eat something and talk to you for a bit.” You rummaged through the fridge and found a half-eaten salad from Saturday, and pulled it out. “I’m actually surprised you’re not out with some of your old friends tonight.”

“Nah, I’d rather spend time with you. Which seems to be the smart choice since someone is not taking care of herself while I’m gone.”

You took a bite before answering. “I guess I thought I could handle the whole back to work, wags and being pregnant thing; but I think I’m failing. I really have to give so much credit to all those working mom’s out there. I don’t know how they do it.” You grabbed another forkful.

“Yeah, it’s a tough job, but you know you have options right babe?”

“I know and trust me; I’ve been considering it a lot this week.” It had been in the back of your mind all week, and you were going to talk to Tyler when he came home. But seeing as how he brought it up there was no time like the present. “I have made one decision about that; and I’m definitely not going back to work after the baby is born.”

“Really babe?” The smile on his face told you exactly how he felt.

“Yes, really. I knew you’d approve of that decision but I didn’t think you’d be this happy over it.”

He tried to drop his level excitement, but it couldn’t be contained. He was literally beaming at you. “I can’t lie hun; I like having you home with me and knowing that, that’s going to happen has literally made my night. So how do I convince you to just quit now?”

You shook your head at him. “After this week it wouldn’t take much.” You were half teasing, but there was a part of you that just wanted to give all your attention to the family that you were building; and you were having trouble concentrating on that with work at the moment.

“Well I did think about that.” You raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “Hear me out before you say anything.” He had piqued your curiosity, so of course you gave him your full attention. “So you know I have Seguin’s Stars with the suite at home games and everything?” You nodded yes. “Well I’ve been approached about doing some more charity work, but I need someone to coordinate it all. Who better to do this than you? I mean you could weed through the ones you think I wouldn’t like or would; then do all the preliminary work to help get it up and running. Of course, I’d pay you, so you’d still have your own money. What do you think?”

“Umm…I kind of don’t know what to say. You’ve obviously thought a bit about this.” And here you thought you were ahead of the game knowing you wanted to stay home after the baby was born.

“Yeah babe, I kind of did. It’s not a secret that I want you to stay home with me. I’ve always wanted that, even before you were pregnant. But I knew how important your job was to you, so I never said anything.” He shrugged his shoulders at you through the phone. “Right now, though you don’t seem happy with it, so why not be home with me every day.”

“Can I think about it?” It was the easiest answer to give; for what Tyler had just offered was something you really needed to consider.

“Of course babe.” You finished up the salad, then threw the dishes in the dishwasher. “So, how are the dogs?”

Turning the camera, you showed all three surrounding you waiting for a treat. “They’re great, though they miss you too.” You reached in the treat jar, while the camera was on them and grabbed them each one; then turned the camera back on yourself so Tyler didn’t see you giving them a snack. “Come on boys, let’s go outside one more time for the night.” You walked them over to the door and let them out. “They’re still adjusting to the house a bit.”

“Oh no, what did Gerry do?”

“Why do you assume it was Gerry?”

“Because it’s always Gerry.”

You laughed. “You’re right it always is him; and it was again. He shit on the kitchen floor the other day.”

“He what?”

“It wasn’t that bad. I know it sounds bad. I really just think he was marking his territory or something like that. It was a couple days ago and he hasn’t done it since.” You’d cleaned the mess up and hollered at him, but only a little. He looked so sad you couldn’t really be too harsh on him.

“He hasn’t had an accident in the house, since he was a puppy.”

“Well, there’s a lot going on right now. It’s a new house. I’m gone most of the day. You’re off on a road trip. I just think he needed some attention. And don’t yell at him, I already did. He’s been fine since.” Tyler was frowning at you, which was totally unnecessary; considering you’d handled the situation.

“I guess it could be worse, he could’ve tore up the whole backyard again.”

“See there’s always a bright side to everything.” You chuckled softly at Tyler, then let the dogs in and turned on the alarm. “Come on guys, bedtime.”

“Mmmm I like bedtime.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Can I join?”

“Of course, though I wish you were really here.” You missed his arms around you, cuddling you all night. The way he smelled, as you lay next to him. There were so many things, and though falling asleep with him on the phone was nice; it wasn’t the same as having him in bed with you.

“Me too baby.” He yawned. The time was an hour ahead of you; so it was well past midnight in Boston. He pulled off his shirt revealing his tattoos, and you longed to run your fingers over them. Tyler laid down on the pillow in the hotel, then covered up with the duvet. You did the same, only you were surrounded by dogs and about fifteen hundred miles away from him. “I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Ty.” For some reason you weren’t ready to sleep, even though your body was telling you differently. Though when Tyler shut his eyes you did the same. It couldn’t have been ten minutes later and you heard him softly snoring through the phone. Part of you wanted to hang up, but then there was the part that thought maybe his gentle breaths would lull you to sleep. Your mind started to wander, thinking of the proposal Tyler had talked about earlier. Over the last couple of weeks you’d been home with Tyler and it had really helped forge the bond that was broken between the two of you. All the small things started to add up, how he took care of you during the accident, how he always made sure you ate something, the way he would talk to the baby all the time. Since the two of you had gotten back together, there was really only that short time in the beginning that you’d been working. It had been fine then, but now; you just liked being with him all the time, taking care of him as much as he took care of you. Would it really make that much of a difference if you decided to quit your job a couple months earlier than you anticipated?

Mentally, you started making a pro and con list; and threw all the above mentioned into that pro part. What you didn’t like about it, was that you’d be basically living off of Tyler, but then weren’t you going to do that once the baby was born? So was that technically a con? Missing all the people at work was definitely a drawback, but then you could always visit them. Again, you weren’t sure what side that went on. The only real downfall, was that you’d worked so hard within the company for the position you had now, and you’d be giving all that up. Opening your eyes, you saw Tyler on the phone, still sleeping; seemingly unaffected by your internal dilemma. He looked so peaceful, and there was a small smile on his lips. If he was here you’d have no choice but to kiss him. Just staring at him, you knew your decision. He, the baby and the dogs were your future. You would find more fulfillment with them, then you ever would in some job. It was crystal clear in that moment, that you’d be writing your resignation at some point tomorrow, more than likely after you finished your project. You couldn’t leave without completing the work you’d already started.

Now that your mind was made up, it was as if exhaustion took over and sleep was calling your name. You glanced one more time at Tyler’s sleeping form, then shut the phone off; noticing that if you fell asleep immediately you’d get a good solid six hours sleep before your alarm went off. Once you closed your eyes you fell fast asleep, dreaming of your family with Tyler. It felt like you only slept a few minutes before the alarm was going off at six in the morning. You got up, finished up the project you were working on and headed off to one of your final days of work.

Walking through your office door, you past your assistant who was on the phone already. It wouldn’t be the same not seeing her every day, but you were sure that your friendship would remain intact. It wasn’t long before you were presenting your project to your boss. Everything was done perfectly down to the last detail and he was extremely happy with your work. You asked if the two of you could talk before the end of the day; it would give you time to draft up a quick resignation letter.

It was around four in the afternoon when he finally had a spare moment for you. The conversation wasn’t exactly as you pictured. He threw in your face that you were giving up your career for a man; which in your eyes wasn’t the case. So the accusation fell flat with you. What didn’t set well, was when he mentioned how much time the company invested in you. You knew this wouldn’t be easy, but hadn’t anticipated him making you feel this guilty. In the end, he asked you to pack your things up; even though you offered to give two weeks’ notice. Making your way back to your office, you grabbed your personal items and threw them in your work bag. It was hard saying goodbye to Andrea, your assistant; and you both shed a few tears, telling each other that you’d get together soon. With one last look at the place and people that you at times called family; you walked out the door to concentrate on your new life with Tyler and the baby.

In your two phone calls with Tyler, both before and after the game; you never mentioned that you quit your job. You thought you’d surprise him tomorrow when he came home. It would’ve been easy to just stay in bed the next morning, but you wanted to keep up a routine somewhat. So you got out of bed early in order to get in a quick yoga session. Then to be completely counterproductive, you found yourself in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. The baby was craving them, or so you told yourself; but you knew that Tyler would eat half of the batch, so you didn’t feel that bad. You were just finishing wiping up the counter, when you heard the garage door open.

It didn’t take long before you heard him with the pups. “Hi boys!” Down went the bag. You could announce that you were home, but why ruin the surprise. “I missed you guys too. Did mom bake last night? It smells so good in here.” It was hard to hold back the bubble of laughter that was bursting to get out. “Alright, alright, settle down. You guys want a treat.” Oh and he made it seem like you were the soft one all the time sneaking them a snack. “Come on, let’s go.” His footsteps sound on the hardwood as he made his way down the hall towards the kitchen. He rounded the corner, not paying attention at all until the last minute. “Jesus!” He shrieked like a little girl and you laughed hysterically. “You scared the fucking shit out of me.”

Once you got your laughter under control, you said. “Yeah, I noticed. Do you scream like that on the ice? Cause hun, you sound like a teenage girl.”

He grabbed you around the waist, and it was your turn to screech. “Ha ha. Who’s yelling now?” He brought his lips to yours, in a kiss that wasn’t the least bit funny. You melted into him, savoring the taste of his lips. All too soon, he pulled away though, and you could almost feel the pout forming on your face. “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing home right now?”

“Oh well, that’s an interesting story.” Slipping out of his arms, you grabbed the plate of cookies you left out for him.

“Are these chocolate with peanut butter chips?”

“Yes…umm the baby wanted them.” He cocked his head to the side, and looked at you questioningly. “Fine, I wanted them.” Turning quickly, you walked away with the plate before he could snatch one. “And with your attitude, you’re not getting any.”

He snuck up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your waist. He was so hard to resist when he was like this; and to top it off he was wearing one of your favorite suits. “Aww, come on, babe. You know they’re one of my favorites.” His right hand, let go of you and tried to pluck a cookie from the plate; but you skillfully kept them out of reach. He scrunched up his nose, before saying, “Please baby.”

“Well since you asked nicely.” Taking one, you held it up to his mouth, which was perched on your shoulder. He gobbled up half the cookie in one bite.

“Oh my god! These are delicious.” His garbled speech could barely be made out as he continued to inhale the treat. “So back to why you’re home, and baking me these yummy cookies. Can I have another one?”

You just laughed at him, and handed over another. “Well…umm…I sort of quit.”

He let go of you fully, only so that he could look you in the face. “Are you serious?” When you nodded your head yes, he took the plate of cookies and put them on the counter; before picking you up in the air and spinning you around. “You don’t know how happy this makes me.”

He still hadn’t put you down. “I think I have an idea.”

“I get you all to myself for the next eleven days.” He was wearing a mischievous grin as he slid you slowly down his body. “And I think I have an idea on how we should celebrate.” His mouth crushed yours in a searing kisses that made you weak in the knees. He hadn’t let your feet touch the ground yet, and the kiss made it seem as if you were floating on air. God you’d missed him.

Hands entwined around his neck, you pulled slightly back, before mumbling. “Bedroom…now.”

Pecking your lips, he responded. “Why, when we haven’t christened the kitchen yet?” He lifted you onto the island, next to the plate of cookies; his mouth never leaving yours as he set you down. You pushed his suit coat off his shoulders and it lay on the ground completely forgotten, as you unbuttoned his shirt. His skin felt warm, as your hands roamed over his chest. He nibbled on your neck and you threw your head back relishing the feel of his lips on you. This road trip had been too long and you craved his touch. You leaned back, bracing yourself against the cool marble; while he continued his assault on your body. “Lift your hips baby.” The low trill of his voice, caused goosebumps all along your skin. There was nothing to do but obey the command he’d given. He slid both your leggings and your panties off in one fell swoosh, to join his shirt and coat. Grabbing your hips, he glided you closer to the edge. Then with one hand, he undid his belt and pants; while his other ran up and down your slit. “God babe, I love how wet you get.” You let out a moan, which sounded foreign even to your own ears. Two of his fingers slid easily inside you, and as he made a come here motion with them; he almost sent you spiraling into bliss, but you wanted more, needed him.

“Ty, please fuck me.”

“Did you miss me baby?’ He had his cock in his hand, stroking it up and down. You bit your lip in anticipation, as you nodded your head. Spreading your wetness all over your pussy, he said. “I missed you more babe.” With that he thrust himself fully into you, both of you screaming out the others name. He felt incredible, and you wrapped your legs around him as he started to thrust in and out of you. It wouldn’t be long for either of you to cum, you were both so primed for each other. His hands were on your hips as he pumped into you harder with each push. “I’m so close (Y/N).” He panted out. You reached between the two of you, finding your clit and pressing it just how you liked. With a few deep thrusts, Tyler grunted and spilled his seed into you. It sent you over the edge and too were cumming with him. Heavy breathing filled the kitchen as the two of you gasped for air, coming down from your high. He tucked your head into his shoulder, then lifted you completely off the counter and carrying you over to the couch; where you both could lay down. You grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around the two of you. He arranged you, so that he was laying mostly on the couch, but could still lay his head on you. Once you were both comfortable, Tyler said. “I missed you so much baby.”

“I missed you too Ty.”

He looked up at you, all serious, from his spot on your chest. “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the baby.” He gave you a devilish grin.

“Oh excuse me!” you said in mock defense. “By all means don’t let me interrupt.”

He leaned up and gave you a quick peck. “I missed you too, but now I need to have a chat with this one.” He laid back down on your chest looking down at your tummy. “Hi baby, it’s daddy. I’m finally home, and missed you and mommy. Did she tell you, she’s going to stay home and be with us every day now? You’re going to love it so much, cause you have the best mommy in the world. You’ll find that out soon, but not too soon. So keep being good in there for her. I love you little one.” He then kissed your stomach; and it made you melt. After hearing that little conversation you definitely knew you’d made the right decision to stay at home for your family.

#nervous regrets #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #tyler seguin smut #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut

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ai-katsuu · 4 years

Text

Forgotten Nightmares (3/3)

chapters: 1 2 3

this is probably one of the most disturbing, interesting stories i’ve written. i hope you guys like it!

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“I’ve always been a fan of you, I have to admit.” Audrey’s voice sounded from above.

“When I was alone I would always sing your song when working.” Gretel continued.

“Isolation in the woods, part of me had hoped you would have arrived, that’s how desperate I was.” Briar said.

“You were a nice story I always used to tell my Lost Boys, around a hundred years ago,” Peter spoke.

“Who. Are. you?” The Headless Horseman questioned.

“We want you to release the F7!” Goldie yelled, making it all too familiar to the boys who they were.

“Goldie, remember when we said we were going to let them do the talking?” Snow gently hushed her.

“Right, sorry!”

The Headless Horseman huffed, “You want them? Then come get them,” he unsheathed his sword that, admittedly made everyone in the room quiver in fear.

“Alright then, Briar, shall we?”

“Let’s go!” Briar and Audrey dropped down from the ceiling platform. Briar devilishly smiled as the horse revved its motor with its hoof.

“I’ll let you get started first, meet you in a bit.” Audrey told her.

“Got it!”

Audrey quickly disappeared as the horse charged at the pair.

Briar hastily drew her sword and clashed with the Horseman. She was able to jump on the horses head as she fought him. The horse had reared up in panic, causing the Horseman to fall down. “Audrey!”

The latter quickly dashed forward and gashed deep slits at the Horseman's body with her sharp water swords. He tried to reach for his sword but it was quickly grabbed by Briar who pointed it at him. He grunted in frustration as his head came to attack Audrey with its flames, however it was quickly put out as she blasted gallons of water on it.

“Your turn!” she yelled as the Headless Horseman started to make a quick recovery.

Briar and Audrey jumped back up to the ceiling only for three more individuals to drop down. “Peter, why don’t you take the first one, distract him for us.” Gretel said and Goldie smiled as she twisted her axe on her fingers.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Peter flew to his direction and picked his head up, throwing it up and treating it like a volleyball. “You’ve got some major anger management issues, my guy.”

“Put me down, boy!” he yelled.

Peter looked sideways for a bit and smiled, “If you say so,” he let his head drop and as soon as it reached the ground, the Horseman heard a voice soon after from above. He looked above and saw Goldie yelling a battle cry as she had her axe ready to smash his head. To his luck he rolled away and her axe hit the floor.

Stuck on the ground for a brief moment, Goldie grunted, “Urgh…” her eyes were dark as she freed her axe and said the following words, “You’re making me work!” and successfully swung his head to the wall.

They were too preoccupied with the head that he didn’t notice that his body was being planted with bombs by Gretel. “We’re out of here, give it thirty seconds! Snow, Gwen, finish it!” she yelled as they jumped back up.

The mentioned fell down, “Ready?” Snow asked Gwen who nodded and turned into her Werewolf form.

The Headless Horseman saw the transformation and frowned, “Oh, it’s you. You know the original Werewolf would’ve loved this.”

Snow grabbed the head and immediately crushed it with her bare hands before he mumbled something soon after. Gwen gashed the body with her claws as much as she could and threw it to the side, far from the F7 as she reverted back to human.

The rest of the group jumped down once more. Audrey moved her hands forward and created a wall of water around the body. Once she did she nodded at Gretel who pressed a button on her remote, and a violent explosion shook the walls. The Headless Horseman was no more.

Audrey removed the wall only to see ash left on the floor. The Fearless Seven were finally able to breathe again, as their backs hurt from all the tension and nervousness they felt. Their partners immediately tried to free them.

“Merlin!” Snow broke his chains with her hands.

“Snow-ohwoh-I wasshk, and i ashuf.” Merlin started rambling gibberish as Snow comforted him.

“Are you alright?” Audrey whispered as Jack hugged her,

“Thank heavens you’re here..” he mumbled gratefully.

“Told you my tracker was useful,” Gretel told Pino as she freed him.

“Yeah, you’re right.” he forced a chuckle, still shaken up.

“Did you see me?! I missed at first but then I hit him like I scored a home run-”

“Yeah, yeah, I saw...” Noki collapsed on Goldie’s shoulder out of exhaustion.

Kio was oddly quiet as Peter freed him, which made him feel awkward “Hey..so..are you like, okay? Or-” and Kio threw his arms around him as he lightly sobbed. Just lightly though.

“You think I should keep this?” Briar referred to the Horseman’s sword as she cut Hans loose with it.

“No, could be cursed.” he laughed, although like Pino, slightly forced.

“You alright? You had no trouble transforming?” Arthur worriedly asked Gwen.

“I’m fine! It was easy.” she grinned.

As the group made their way back home, the F7 was still oddly quiet.

“Geez, you guys are still that shaken up about it?” Peter frowned.

“You weren’t there when he first appeared! It was terrifying, like the stories but much worse!” Arthur explained,

“Yeah have you ever had his head up close to you?” Noki exclaimed.

“I literally just knocked his head out like he was a golf ball like, thirty minutes ago.” Goldie said.

“Well, on the bright side, we’re passing by a beautiful sunset now.” Gretel smiled as she looked to her left.

They were passing by a road that overlooked the sea, to their right was a large field that would’ve been perfect to have a picnic. Gwen made a mental note in her mind that she wanted to come back here.

“Well, it is beautiful indeed,” Hans noted as he looked at the reflecting ocean.

“Pretty if we had a camera,” Kio said.

Briar raised her eyebrows, “Hey, what time is it?”

“4:13, why?” Pino told her.

“It’s just, why are the clouds so dark and gloomy? And it’s getting pretty cold..” she shook her arms.

“Would this be Frost again?” Snow White asked.

Jack shook his head, “He’s in the North Pole with the other Guardians helping for Christmas, right Audrey?

But Audrey had her head down and didn’t respond as she stood perfectly still.

“Mon amour?” Jack went up to her and tucked her hair behind her ears. As soon as he did he almost immediately flinched back as he saw the pupils of her eyes were no more. It was as if she went blind again.

“Audrey?! Can you hear me?” he tried shaking her but she would budge.

“Merlin!” Jack turned around as Snow yelled. He too was in the same state as her.

“What’s happening to them?!” Briar looked in panic.

“This is almost scary..” Gwen scrunched her face in worry.

The clouds became darker and bright light flashed for a second before a loud boom in the sky was heard. After the thunder, rain began pouring down, softy at first, but then the droplets became bigger, and it almost hurt their skin, like needles were falling down from the sky.

Merlin and Audrey then began to walk in sync, out of the road and into the big field. “What are they doing?” Arthur yelled out through the raging winds.

Merlin took his spells out, and lighting all the way from the clouds reached his hands. Audrey lifted her right arm to the ocean, and gallons of violent water came to her side.

“No way...are they gonna fight?!” Peter exclaimed.

Snow suddenly then gasped, she heard the Headless Horseman mumble something just before she crushed his head:

“At the sixteenth hour and thirteenth minute, one of you shall join me in my doom. I will not perish alone.”

“The Horseman..he cursed them, just before he died. Merlin and Audrey won’t stop fighting until one of them dies.” Snow said fearfully.

“We have to stop them!” Jack yelled.

Immediately after he did, Audrey and Merlin disappeared for a moment, before reappearing again and caused the biggest explosion of water with electricity running through it. Trees were burnt and drowned at the same time, and the group had managed to take cover on a slope.

“How the hell are they this powerful?” Hans grunted as he put his wok out as a shield.

Merlin and Audrey kept throwing their elements at each other, not stopping as destruction of the ground was far from their minds. Audrey restrained Merlin’s limbs with water chains before he generated electricity, making it run across the water forcing Audrey to drop him. It was at this moment where Snow hit her head against Merlin’s, and Jack punched Audrey’s head with his ring, knocking the two out as their elements died down.

The storm was clearing up and the group used this as an opportunity to head back to the White Palace, in fear of any other curses that might take place.

Merlin’s eyes shot open as he sat up on his bed. “What happened-”

“Merlin!” Snow and Arthur rushed to his side.

“God, if there’s one thing I know now, it’s to never upset you and Audrey at the same time.”

“Me and...what happened? We were just at the sunset- “

“It’s alright, we’ll tell you everything later.” Snow assured him.

On the opposite room, Audrey slowly woke up as well.

Isabella gasped, “Your highness, she’s awake!” she called out.

Jack hastily came out of the bathroom and ran to his wife and her maid. “Are you alright? Who am I? Who is she?” He quickly asked her.

“What...Jack..and Isabella...what are you talking about?”

Jack sighed in relief, “Good, I didn’t hit you too hard.”

Everyone else was in the parlor, eating dinner as it was quiet all around. “Are we really sure he’s gone?” Goldie asked.

“Snow made sure of it, he could’ve only brought out one curse by the time she killed him.” Kio nodded.

“It’s already past the deadline for that curse, so they’ll be a hundred percent okay.” Noki followed up.

Gretel looked at her brother, “You don’t think there are other old Nightmares that are still out there, are there?”

Hans shook his head, “We’ll deal with them when we will, if ever.”

Though all of them hoped there would never be an ‘if ever’.

#red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #red shoes movie #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #rsatsd #rsat7d #red shoes

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dancing-the-hellfire-rumba · 5 years

Text

Dear Hannah,

Pairing: technically Destiel, but that’s not what this is about Word Count: 4.9k (wow wtf) Warnings: mentions of self-harm, cancer, shitty father John (as per usual), angst and angst and father-daughter love and angst. Summary: When Dean, strapped to a bed, coughing up a storm, catches sight of his newly-adopted baby girl, he decides that, if he is to leave this world, he has to leave something behind for his favorite person. So he writes a booklet, trying to tell her all the things he would’ve if he was alive. Author’s note: This was originally done for @welldonebeca ‘s 2019 Song Challenge but I fucked up thinking the deadline was the 31st of October instead of the 15th. Whatever the case, my prompt was movement, by Hozier, which I interpreted as Dean being fascinated by his daughter enough that he’s inspired to write a letter book to her. Of course this wouldn’t be the entire thing, but I had to keep it under wraps.

Feedback is always welcome! No beta, all mistakes are my own.

~~~~

Hannah,

Christ, it’s the third time I’m starting this. The truth is, I’m coming up with blanks as to how to actually start. This has got to be the best I’ve got.

I’ll tell you the moral of this story, my story, from the get-go. Life’s a fucking bitch, okay? I want you to know that from now. I’d try to hold back on my swearing, but I want you to know me as the person I am, the person I’ve always been. I know what having an absent, terrible father’s like, as you’ll soon see, and I don’t want that for you. I wish I could tell you all this up close, give you advice, tell you all my crazy-ass stories as the dumbass of the teenager I was, and all the shenanigans your uncle (wow, Sam really is a friggin’ uncle!), by a campfire, while you drink your first beer.

Sadly, my odds aren’t looking so great, honey. So this is all I got. I know it’ll never be enough but something is better than nothing.

Enough with the chick flick introduction, though. Let’s start.

The pen’s heavy in his hand, and it’s equal parts the mental heaviness, the weight of the task, as it is his fatigue. Dean’s really just started this. He can’t believe it. The heaviness of uncertainty, of whether or not he’ll get enough time to finish it settles on his chest like an anvil. There’s a solid chance he doesn’t make it before his time comes.

Hannah’s sitting right there, carelessly looking at the plastic, grinning stars above her crib. She’s so innocent, skin creamy, chocolaty and bright, a young, fearsome woman that’s gonna turn out to be so incredible, he’s certain. A small baby who’s soon to walk.

Dean already knows, this kid is destined for great things.

She’s gonna grow up, past the tutus and the miniature racing-car collections, she’s gonna have a movie she’ll play on repeat for ever and ever, with a song that he’ll learn by heart after having heard it so many times. She’s gonna go to high school and she’ll be bullied but she’ll learn to kick some serious ass. She’ll develop interests, she’ll have mediocre grades but a fiery passion and a love for anything alive.

She’ll, then, go to college. She’ll fall in love, with people and life itself. She’ll do what she loves most and she’ll be so damn good at it, she’ll excel.

And Dean… Dean will be nowhere near her to see all of it.

The bitterness… it makes his eyebrows stitch together, his lip curl in clear frustration and sadness. After everything he’s been through, finally finding the person he loves most and creating a full-ass apple pie life, and it’s all gonna be gone as soon as it started. Because, as he told his favorite Hannah, life’s a fucking bitch, and there’s no denying it.

As he lays there in his bed, pale as a sheet, watching her giggle for a while, reaching for the stars, soon yawning, small eyelids shutting softly and rocking just slightly, he… he falls in love with her. This tiny, tiny happy-beyond-words creature that could ask anything of him, and he’d do it, god damn it. He really would.

A giant bubble grows in his chest, a bubble that makes him feel like he’ll protect her at absolute all costs. He’ll grab the moon and fucking move it if that’s what she needs. And all she has to do is yawn and fall asleep.

A tear appears in the corner of his eye, lingering and falling down his ashy cheek. He can’t believe he brought this bright ray of sunshine to this world, and he’s about to make her live with an absent father. That he won’t get any memories with her at all. It’s torture. All of it.

He doesn’t know what else to do, so he grabs his pen with more determination. If he’s to leave her with something, it’ll be a part of him and that is that.

~~~~~

I was born on January 24th, 1979, the first son of a, dare I say, colossally unlucky family. Your uncle, Sam, my brother, is four years younger and will ALWAYS be a wimp, don’t let the height fool you. He always had terrible, shaggy hair and was always the sharpest tool in the box. Hell, the boy went to freaking LAW SCHOOL of all places! That’s kinda crazy!

My parents, your grandparents, were Mary and John.

Mary was a sweet, incredible, fearsome blonde woman, kindest of them all. She’d cut the crusts off my toast, sing Hey, Jude to me before bed and tell me angels were watching over me. (While we’re on the topic of the Beatles, make a note to listen to them. “Hey, Jude” must be your first song, but beyond the classics [Let it Be, Hard Day’s Night, I Saw Her Standing There, I Wanna Hold your hand etc] I hope “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” will hold a special spot in your heart, much like me.)

So, Mary. Sweet Mary. She was a real badass, you know. This one time, Sammy was hungry, so I decided to make, get this, French fries. I think I was seven. She caught me getting ready to pour oil in a very hot pan. When I say she swooped in, I mean it, quite literally. I think she saved me a hand that day.

Now, about John…You’ll have to forgive the mess that I’m about to make with this, but John was a fucking sorry excuse of a father, alright? He got piss-drunk every night after Mom died, and naturally, Sam and I were the punching bags, sometimes literally. The best nights were the ones he wasn’t home.

For years, the house was silent. Sam and I tried to keep everything clean, stock up on canned food, because at times we would only have ten bucks to hold us for over two weeks. I took him to school, fed him, made sure he studied –not that I really had to- and kept John of his hair. At sixteen I picked up a shift at Bobby Singer’s garage, a man that, at this point, deserves the Dad title significantly more than John.

Whenever Sammy was sick, it was my fault. Was anyone loud? Dean’s fault. House dirty? Dean’s fault. Did we wake him up? …Let’s just say we learned not to do that.

I tried to put myself before Sam, did anything I could to protect him. There were times when that wasn’t even enough.

I dropped out of high school at seventeen. The second I saved up enough money, I rented a hole of an apartment at the other side of town, in an attempt to help Sam have a normal life, and we hauled ass out of there.

Before I tell you about our shitty apartment, let me tell you about the highlights of my high school career. Starting off with me “unintentionally” kicking a ball at my least favorite teacher’s face (and hitting him) ((Don’t take your father’s example, kid, violence isn’t the answer.)) (Did feel pretty good at the time though), making out with Jenny in the Janitor’s closet and with Arthur at the locker rooms afterhours (I don’t know what age you’re reading this at, but I sure hope it’s over 16). Also, that one time I pulled a prank at my friend, Cole. I spray painted his entire locker. He didn’t like me very much, to be honest…

~~~~~

An important story I feel inclined to share with you, would be the fact that I was once a bully.

Kids are just mean, but also, I couldn’t understand that troubles at home, traumatic pasts and anger are not to be taken out on other people who are not at fault. Instead of finding a healthy way to deal with everything that was happening at home, I decided that every happy person that was weak enough to meddle with, didn’t deserve any happiness.

I picked on a couple of people, but I think the one I will always regret will be Kevin Tran.

Kevin was a freshman when I was in junior year. He was in the Math club, the Science club and the Robotics club. He had maybe two friends, he was skinny, short, shy as hell, he drowned himself in oversized clothes and always carried a neon green book bag around, that worked on me like red cloth to a bull.

Every time I spotted the bag in the hallway, the drill would start. Shoving the poor kid against the locker, calling him names and laughing at his face for no apparent reason. I’d steal his calculators when I found out he had chemistry tests, spray paint the door of his locker and cause rib bruises from my shoving him against walls and furniture.

I soon find out Kevin was severely depressed. In fact, I saw him in the back of the school, where I’d usually go out to smoke because I thought it was cool (it’s not, it makes you light headed, unfocused and struggle to breathe. Just an all-around terrible experience, but this is just a side-note.)

It was a Friday after school. I didn’t wanna go straight home and Sam still had one more period, so I decided to go smoke and listen to some music in the back of the school building. And that’s where I found him.

I don’t know into how much detail I should go here, but Kevin was harming himself. With a small pocket knife, he sat on an old basket and made incisions on his arms, tears running down his face like a faucet. My God, Hannah, I’ve never felt like a bigger piece of shit in my life, because I knew, and I knew very well, that at least part of those incisions were caused by me.

I called out to him, and the look on his face, as he scrambled away from me, made me feel so much worse. I was the scum of the earth at that moment. I was the biggest asshole on the planet.

My initial reaction, I’ll admit, was pretty harsh. I grabbed the pocket knife out of his hands and threw it as far as possible in the grass. I grabbed a small first aid kit I had in my bag (in case anything happens to Sam), made him sit down by force and bandaged him up. He’d been reduced to sniffles by the time I was done.

Somewhere in between, I remember, he asked me why I was doing this. I didn’t answer.

Eventually, when I was done, I sat on the ground in front of him, ripping blades of grass from the ground. I apologized. Something along the lines of “I didn’t know, not that that’s an excuse. What I’m going through is not an excuse, but I hope it makes you understand that it was nothing to do with you. I’ll stop. I’m sorry. Don’t do this to yourself, man.”

That evening, Kevin was one of the very first people who found out about John. His own dad had passed away, and things at home were rough with his mom. That, along with the whole depression thing… it wasn’t a good combo.

After a solid two hours of talking with him, making amends, apologizing profusely and getting my apology accepted (which I absolutely didn’t deserve by the way,) we made it back out front.

From then on, I stopped picking on anyone. Kevin and I actually became really good friends, though we drifted apart eventually. I think he works in Google now.

This is really important. I want you to pay attention and take heed of my words. There are a couple lessons in this story.

One, be kind. Always be kind. To everyone. It doesn’t matter if they’re going through a rough time or not, the same way it didn’t matter that Kevin’s father was dead. You don’t know the other person. There’s never a reason to not be kind, if the person has done nothing to you. A smile can make somebody’s day, a compliment can go a long way, and being open and honest and kind will make people who are looking for help find you, it will make other’s lives better, and if you’ve helped even a single person, your life has been successful.

Two, never, and I mean never take your emotional pain out on yourself, or others. There are healthy ways to deal with ugly emotions. There are people who can help. Find a new hobby, as silly as it sounds. Start doing something creative, something that draws your attention elsewhere, like art of any kind, or, in my case, fixing cars. Something to keep you busy. If you’re in trouble, emotional or otherwise, there are people who love and support you, who will do their mightiest to be by your side, and if those aren’t your friends, they’re definitely your family.

Bottling up emotions, or dealing with them in horrible, unhealthy ways has been my go-to. Don’t be like me. Express yourself in different ways, and don’t keep your feelings shoved under the carpet, because it will, absolutely, unceremoniously explode, and you’ll take people down with you. And that’s when you’ll feel like the worst person in the world. The guilt, the residue of said ugly feelings isn’t worth it. Trust me.

If you make mistakes, if you hurt people who don’t deserve it, learn from it, grow, be better. Do not sink into yourself , don’t hate yourself. Apologize, make amends and move on, try to never do the same thing. It’s okay. We’re all human. The only thing that matters is that you try to be better.

No matter what, remember that I will always love you.

~~~~

So. Our apartment back in Kansas was, as I told you, a real dump. It had a tiny-ass kitchen with a miniature stove, two mattresses that were creaky and lumpy and were left there by the previous owners, as well as the TINIEST bathroom you’ve ever seen. It didn’t have shower walls, it had a shower head and a drain on the floor and was not in any way separated from the toilet. The walls of the place were peeling, the floor was tiled and cracked in a bunch of places and the humidity must’ve been over 80%.

I fucking loved that place.

On our third day there, I borrowed some spray paints from Cole, carried them in a cardboard box up the claustrophobic, green stairs, and opened the door in absolute triumph. That day, Sam and I opened the two windows, scratched the paint off the walls with two spatulas and went WILD. It must’ve been the only day Sam didn’t study.

Actually, no, now that I think about it, there was another time, when little ol’ ten-year-old Sam fell off a ledge and freakin’ broke his arm. I dumped him on Cole’s bike and pedaled to the hospital like a maniac. That was the first day he didn’t study.

Anyways, that apartment wall made our crappy little living situation a home. Our own sanctuary. We finally got agency over our lives, from staying up late, to choosing which type of dish soap we’d use because it smelled better and didn’t remind us of the terror chores once were. Eventually, we got soft blankets, books, board games, decorations… Finally, after 18 years, we’d started our lives.

I think one of my favorite memories would be coming home from my first date with a guy. I was just 18 and Benny, the dude, kissed me before I left, his fists clutching at my flannel. I was driving home with a giant, dopey-ass smile, stretching from one ear straight to the other. That same night, with new-found confidence, I told Sammy to drop his book, bought ourselves some beers and snacks, and drove to my favorite clearing.

There, right under the stars, with Sammy trying out his first beer, I told him I’m bisexual, and the cute bastard hugged me and told me he loved me no matter what. That same night, he thanked me for everything I did for him while living with John. We talked until the sun was rising.

I’ll tell you this right now, kid, in case you haven’t gotten it yet. I love Sam. Love him to bits. I raised that kid all on my own and will do anything to protect him. I know he cares for me, I know it kills him to see me like this, in a bed, pale, miserable and coughing every three seconds. I just want you to know, honey, that whatever you need, anything at all that, for some reason, you don’t want to tell Dad, you go to Sam, okay? You can trust him to be supportive, loyal, to be there for you when no one else is and to love you like you’re his own daughter and best friend. I promise you, he will always, always be there when I’m not.

That night made us grow so much closer. The lesson here, I’d say, is be bold and confident in what you believe in and who you are. Be your own, unique self, be brave, and love whoever you choose to fully and with your whole heart, without shame, ever. If you are yourself, I promise, you’ll find the people that love you for you, not the person you’re pretending to be. You’ll inspire other to be themselves.

A good example of this would be my best friend, Charlie. When I came out, I was armed to the teeth to deal with whoever wanted to bully me for that part of me. To tell you the truth, my school coming out was a mishap. It takes nothing but a risky make-out session in the janitor’s closet and nosey students that rip doors open far too violently. Nevertheless, I was literally out of the closet, fists up. And that’s exactly when I met Charlie.

With her comic book stories and her books, her bubbly personality and bright smile, she wiggled her way into our lives and permanently stayed there. She was a freshman when I was a senior, but she seemed to find sanctuary by my side, as I did by hers. She was just one of those people who clicked, you know? Far too mature and interesting for her age, with an obsession with computers, even back when they were barely even a thing.

She now lives with her long-term girlfriend, Gilda, who owns the best bakery in the state. Ask for the apple pie, you will not be disappointed.

Charlie demanded of me to tell you, first off, to watch Marvel and screw DC right to hell (with which I have to agree, though Batman still remains one of the coolest Superheroes of my childhood (and Joker, the coolest villain)). She also told me that, if you read this, go ask her for her comics, She’d love to let you borrow them and she’s certain you’ll love them. Second off, she asked of me to tell you the Impala story…

It’s not as grand as she makes it out to be, honestly. However this is the part where you’ll learn all about the one and only Bobby Singer.

Bobby was my boss, an old friend of dad’s John’s and the first person who ever saw the bruises under my sleeves. He gave me a job, a family, and later on… a car.

Bobby owns a scrapyard. He taught me everything I know about cars, including driving, and for my seventeenth birthday, he brought a dusty, beat-up car in my workspace. The hood was bent, the seats were torn, and the engine needed immediate replacing. The customer never paid the price for the compartments the garage had paid, so under store policy, the car was ours.

Hannah, I can’t exactly describe to you how long it took me to repair that car. Buying the spare parts and assembling them would’ve probably taken less time. I built her from the ground up, it took me almost a month and a half of daily, eight-to-six work, but I made it. I fixed her up. She was in prime condition, and I had completely fallen in love with her.

I finished working on her early January, dreading the moment I would see her drive away. Bobby had seen all the effort, by then I’d worked at his place for over a year. So, on the day of my birthday, I opened my locker to put on my jumpsuit, when I saw a box placed on my neatly folded clothes. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now. Yes. It was the keys to my dream car. A beautiful, sleek, black 1967 Chevrolet Impala, the one I had brought back to life. And it was all mine.

I don’t think I’ve hugged Bobby any tighter since then. Hell, I don’t think I’ve hugged him period.

That car… That car is probably the most stable thing in my life, apart from Sam, obviously. I’ve cried in that car, I’ve escaped from my terrible past, I’ve laughed, I’ve had my first time, I’ve been through breakups and I’ve spent my best days with it. I cherish it more than any other item I know. It’s not even an item, it’s my baby. I love it almost as much as I love you.

I met your dad, and kissed him for the first time in that car.

It’s actually a pretty fucking hilarious story. Cas was on a date with this guy who was completely disgusting and creepy as hell, so in true movie fashion he decided to, get this, jump out the bathroom window and escape.

Yeah.

So just as he was running out of the bar, the guy must’ve caught wind of him or something, because he stepped outside in order to find Cas. What did your dad decide to do, I hear you ask? He ducked behind a car in the parking lot, opened the first unlocked door he found, and jumped in.

Spoiler alert. It was my car.

I was sitting in the front seat, fighting with Sam through text when the door opened. It was highly comical, watching this guy duck behind the bench seat, mumbling “oh God, oh God, oh God, please don’t see me, oh God.” I cleared my throat.

“Oh, I see you, buddy.” That’s the first thing I told him. The look on his face and the genuine yelp, made me laugh a full belly laugh, and completely forget about my fight with Sam. He apologized profusely, explained panicked what had happened and begged me to stay in my car just for a couple minutes so the guy can lose him.

Long story short, we ended up going out ourselves. I don’t know how to explain it… we just clicked immediately. Like, there was a connection. Him and his big words, his baby blue eyes, his steady, deep and rough voice… I knew right away that all I wanted was to spend time with him, learn everything he was willing to share with me.

I’m so glad to have met your Dad. He was, is and always will be one of the best, kindest, most humble and genuine people on the planet. He sees the world from such a beautiful point of view that contradicts my eternal realism (he enjoys calling me pessimistic.) He’s a genuinely great person, and I can’t wait for you to figure so out yourself, if you haven’t already.

Of course, it wasn’t all fine and dandy. Meeting his parents was hellish. Let’s just say, Chuck and Naomi aren’t… the best people. They tried really, really hard to stop us from seeing each other, and eventually, they completely disowned Cas. He doesn’t like to talk about them much. His brother, Gabriel is an asshole, but a loveable one, while his other brother, Michael, you probably don’t know about. And you shouldn’t. Let’s just leave it at that. If Cas wants to share that story with you, he’ll do it at his own time.

I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned here. Something about, when finding your person, to keep them, fight for them, don’t stop loving them because everyone else is telling you (unless of course that person is toxic). But I don’t think I can give you solid love advice through a dumb book. Every relationship is different, and your Dad’s better at this than me anyways.

I don’t know exactly how long this thing is, by this point, but I’ve almost finished the pages of this booklet. I was really, really worried I wouldn’t finish it in time, but here we are. However many thousand words later, and I’m clueless as to how to wrap this up.

My life isn’t over yet, however it looks like it soon will be. I will confess to you, I’m scared, but most of all I’m angry. I’m angry at the world, at life and fate, if that’s even a thing, at God even. I’ve fought my whole life for peace and quiet, and right when I have found it, it’s being ripped from under my feet. Cancer fucking sucks.

No matter, my chin is up, and so are my fists. Winchesters don’t give up easy. I will fight this until my last breath, even if the chance of watching you grow up and being able to tell you everything I’ve written face-to-face, is nothing but a sliver. After all, impossible odds were always my favorite.

Sweetheart… I don’t know what to say. This might be the only thing you have left of me for the rest of your life, and it tears me up inside. Of course, I will not be able to write thirty five years of experience in a small book such as this, but this is a part of me, memories you can keep all to yourself. Ask Dad or Sam about any of it, I’m sure they’ll fill some gaps, tell you things I haven’t written.

I don’t want you to cry much, even though I’m not sure you will at all, given the fact that you’ve never met me. Either way, whether you feel or think anything of me or not, I want you to know that I love you so much. I’ve only known you for a couple of months, and, already, you’re the brightest ray of sunshine in my life.

I promise I will be by your side no matter what happens, through every milestone and hardship, I will love you from wherever I am.

Honey, please stay true to yourself. Never give up, no matter what curveballs life throws at you. There’s always reason to keep going, even if you can’t see it. Always keep fighting, ‘till your last breath, ‘cause you’re a Winchester and you’ve absolutely got this.

If there is something I want you to remember from the scribbly mess I’ve made, it’s this:

I love you. I’m proud of you. I believe in you.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

Bonus:

Tears streaming down velvety soft cheeks, dainty fingers gripping the book tightly, like her life depends on it, Hannah stares at the ceiling and groans at the mess she is. It’s the second time she read that last bit, and just as she thought she’d gotten over it, here she is, crying just as hard as the first.

She gets off her bed, pulling on her sweater sleeves. Feet in slippers, she makes her way down the corridor, knocking on the door, and opening when she gets an answer. Her fingers grip the doorknob, the other clutching the book, and she stares at the bed, watching as green eyes look up from his laptop.

“Why did you give this to me, you ass, you’re not dead,” she sobs, and Dean pushes his laptop to the side, arms opening wide to invite her in them.

“Aw honey,” he coos, a gentle, loving smile on his face. Hannah climbs on the bed and slides to his side, curling up in his arms. “It’s okay.” Fingers stroking her hair gently, as sobs wrack through the poor girl’s body. Dean almost feels bad.

Just then, Cas appears in the doorway, having heard Hannah’s cries. He sees the booklet clutched in her arms, her face buried in Dean’s neck, hidden behind her spring-curly hair. He makes eye contact with his husband, a knowing half-smile on his lips, as he leans on the doorway.

“I love you,” Hannah says, nose stuffed and running. “Thank you for not giving up on a relationship with me, even when you didn’t think you’ll survive.” Tears wet Dean’s eyes, as he presses a kiss on the crown of her head.

“I love you too.”

#dean fluff #dean angst #destiel #daddy!dean #destiel dads #supernatural au #spn fanfiction #supernatural #spn angst #spn fluff #oc

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things-we-used-tc-share · 5 years

Text

Tear me open (see what’s inside)

Warnings: Some minor angst

Ship: Analogical

Plot:

“Talk to me about what’s going on in your head,”

Logan hesitates “Have you ever loved something or someone? Do you ever feel trapped because you love them and then you have to somehow, some way, figure out how to stop it?” There’s a silence so deathly that Logan swears he might be suffocating.

Logan’s been staring at the same stretch of wall for so long he thinks the colours might be changing through the blur of his own eyes. Blinking, he notices there’s water in his eyes that trail over his cheeks; it’s just from staring for too long, he tells himself, like the hollow aching in his chest has nothing to do with anything anymore.

Hollow.

He really is. His bones seem to creak under his lack of sleep, his muscles ache in their fatigue and the long nights seem longer when you haven’t slept a wink. He is logic, he should know by now what a healthy sleep pattern is. The other’s were starting to notice too, the ruffled hair, the bags under his eyes, the empty look on his face when he completes a task that he would usually at least have a smile for. Logan has a tasklist for making coffee, completing tasks is his life. Yet he stares into the dark brown surface with a look so absent it’s a wonder there’s even a person in there.

“He’s been avoiding me, what about you,” He stands at the top of the stairs and listens to them talk about him like he’s an object unable to answer for himself. But there again he’s been lying so much lately, he doesn’t blame them for not trusting his answers.

“He’s been talking to me but only in yes’s and no’s,” Patton’s voice sounds tired and strained like he’s been mulling over questions that have no answers, and answering questions that don’t even exist yet. “He looks so...sad,”

“Logan doesn’t get sad,” Roman interjects and Logan wants to say ‘yes, that’s me, I don’t get sad, I don’t feel anything,’ But that would be another lie on top of the spider web of untruths he’s been telling. Over and over and over again, for years. The same lie, the biggest lie, the oldest fucking lie he’s ever told.

“I don’t feel anything,”

Yet his body feels like it’s collapsing in on itself over it’s sleepless nights thinking over and over again, what would it be like? To love? The way Roman loves his work, and them; the way Patton loves the world and everything it did and did not contain, the way Virgil loves the peace and quiet? Somewhere between those first questions and the last, he had managed to answer that he’d already known love. In the taste of Crofter’s, in the pictures of the night’s sky, in the way that Virgil smiles with uncertainty.

Which lead to a three month long day in which he couldn’t remember the last time he slept because why Virgil? Why does seeing him give him such a rush of energy and sadness at the same time? Melancholy happiness where you just want to hold someone’s hand and tell them the names of the constellations (and how none of them, not a single one, are as beautiful as the look on Virgil’s face when a problem is solved).

Logan had managed to fall in love so many times without realizing it, except this time it’s a person, a person with the capability to love him back and somehow that’s so much worse than loving a black hole. A black hole can’t break his heart. Well, not emotionally anyway.

He steps down the stairs to make his breakfast, a hush falls and they all go about their day.

“What’s going on?” Virgil stands in Logan’s doorway looking taller than Logan remembered, his eyeliner worn from the day and jacket wrapped around him like a gift that can never be opened. “I know when you’re upset Logan, did I do something? Did we do something?” And that’s all it really takes for the logical facet to break, his gaze softening as he shakes his head. His own foolishness should not cost them their comfort. “What’s going on with you, L?”

“I don’t really know,” Virgil is used to Logan sounded bold and brash, knowing the answer to everything and every question and never doubting himself for a moment. He’s not used to a scared whisper of a man who for the first time in his life, really does not have the answer or any idea of how to find it.

“Talk to me about what’s going on in your head,”

“Yes,” Virgil finally said, looking down at his hands “I have, and I do, all the time,” He crosses his legs on the bed “When I was younger I used to watch Patton and Roman, you spent all your time in your room reading books so you weren’t much fun,” He teases a little “But I used to watch them hold hands and play fight with wooden swords and run around like the entire world is something to fall in love with, especially Patton, I wondered what that was like, and when you all decided you needed me I knew what that was like,” He pauses for a moment “Well, maybe not the whole world the way those two do, but you guys, I love all of you,” It’s like there’s more he wants to say but he can’t find the word or his fears are crawling through his throat and stopping them. “But back then it just made me feel lonely,” He admits.

Logan rubs the inside of his wrists anxiously “I see,” He doesn’t, he can’t pretend to understand, as Virgil said for most of their-and Thomas’-childhood, he adored the loneliness, because he was never really alone, in a room piled high full of books. Thomas was always learning at that stage so he had a lot of things he needed to consume academically and in general. He used to love being alone.

“I think you misjudged your own needs, Logan,” Virgil finally breaks the silence like he can read his mind. “You...you spent so much time alone because you had so much to do, Roman and Patton their jobs weren’t intensive,Roman can create anything at the drop of a hat it didn’t require his thoughts, and Patton was simply an overarching and developing facet that grew throughout Thomas’ life, through experiences,” He pauses “And now it’s the other way around, his job requires Roman’s intensive focus and not a whole lot of education,” Logan nods slowly “So you’re stuck in a position where your entire life you’ve kept yourself busy and away from people and now, you need people and don’t know how to interact with that feeling, you don’t have enough books to drown your loneliness with, and you are lonely, I can feel it like literally I stepped into this room and it felt like I was walking into mine,”

Logan’s jaw tenses, that can’t be good at all. “I think you’re correct,” He looks at his walls. “But I also think it’s more than that,” Virgil can see the sadness in his eyes, their arms brushing against each other as Logan slides his glasses off of his face and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration “I’m not good with feelings,” Virgil nods “But I do have them, I feel a lot actually, and lately it’s been overwhelming,” The pause again, neither of them knowing the right words or how to find them “And I don’t know how to ask so I’d rather just show you,” He rests his glasses, folded neatly beside him on the bed. He looks so tired. Virgil’s eyebrows furrow.

And then Logan’s hand rests on Virgil’s cheek, leaning down to kiss him warmly. His lips are dry and chapped and they taste a little salty. Had Logan been crying? His lips mouth so slowly and yet so smoothly, like the question he’d been wanting to ask lay between his lips but not in his words.

Virgil gives a small smile “I understand,” He takes Logan’s hand in his “But love is more than that, you know that right?”

“I know, I love Patton and I love Roman but, it’s different, the same but like it’s shifted to left a little,” Virgil nods, as long as Logan understands that this is not the only love. “And I’ve loved many things and never realized it, I love the stars and books, and task lists and deadlines, and I love every single person who has made Thomas happy and I love Roman and Patton and Thomas, and that teacher who gave a lecture on theoretical physics that I made Thomas go too because I was interested in it and then I had to beg him to pay attention all the way through it,” Virgil laughs, nodding “I just never really realized because I expected love to be less passive, more painful and more noticeable, I expected it to hit me like a bag of rocks like in movies or romance novels, there are no textbooks on love, Virgil,”

“That would make life so much easier,” Logan laughs, short and pained, but the first time he’s laughed in months, or smiled or felt anything close to happiness

“And then I realized something changing, and I knew I loved you all, but this was different, I usually fall asleep thinking about the newest science crazes...”

“Nerd,”

“But instead I was falling asleep thinking about you,”

Virgil smiles and squeezes his hand “Yeah, me too buddy,” They smile at each other and Logan shakes his head.

“I really need to sleep,”

“Yeah you do, squidge up I’m joining you,” Logan doesn’t think he’s ever blushed in his life, but underneath the covers, arms and legs tangled, he’d never known his body to feel so warm before.

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten// @theresneverenoughfandoms // @charmingprincey // @aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife // @heck-im-lost//@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad // @sanderssideslibrary // @max-is-tired //@therealmoshar// @punsterterry // @trashypansexual// //@demigodnamedathena //@sevencrashing// @misunderstood-shadow//@aphriteblack // @jemthebookworm//@sandersandthesides // @penguinkool//@georganabanana // @importantrunawaystudentstuff // @ao-koshka // @dangerous-doodle // @river-waterfall // @hell-or-high-waters // @no-sleep-gang-posts// @wxlcomxtothxjunglx //@marshmallow-the-panda // @flix-net

#analogical #sanders sides #logan sanders #virgl sanders

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resbang-bookclub · 5 years

Text

AMA Transcript: Unrequited

Next up, @infantbluee, @kallie-flower, @nori-wings and @thiefofblood (Souly on Discord) came to answer questions and spread the love for their Resbang, Unrequited! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: How did you guys come up with this idea? I remember you threw a ton of ideas around and settled on this one. Can you take us through the process? >:)

kallieflower: Oh god. We went through SO many different ideas. We wrote like what? 40k for our first idea before we scrapped that?

b l u e: Then like 30k for the next one that we also scrapped.

kallieflower: WE KEPT TRYING TO WRITE SHORT THINGS BUT IT DIDN’T WORK. Soma just does not work as shortfic.

b l u e: Even our final bang ended up being a 40k two-shot lmao.

Q: So what was it about this final idea that made u guys decide, YES, this is it???

kallieflower: The first idea was a Madoka Magica AU that exploded into a mess because magical girl worlds take a loooooottttt of work. The second fic also exploded into something big.

b l u e: We were going to stick with it though. We were. We had it all ready for check-in and everything. But then like two days before, kallie went, "okay so I love our fic idea and all but what about this." Me, on three hours of sleep: "I effing hate you." Then we stumbled through our first 3k and sent it to the mods like the gremlins we are.

kallieflower: We didn’t expect it to get so big either but c’est la vie. Chloe almost killed me like 48293783 times during the process but I think we managed alright.

b l u e: You're lucky I love you so much.

Q: Did you guys start writing straight from the beginning of the fic or did you write a specific scene first?

kallieflower: Actually we didn’t start from the beginning haha! Or well, our idea didn’t start from a plot. We just wanted to write Maka cursed. We wanted to write her with no inhibitions in love, like she might’ve been had she not been so hurt by her parents’ separation. And since there are witches in the SE universe, we had fun with that instead of making it an AU.

Q: Do you write linearly at all or did you jump around a lot?

b l u e: Surprisingly yes. Aside from my dream sequences.

kallieflower: Your dream sequences were our pit stops. We just had to actually do the writing to get there.

b l u e: Hahaha our writing process was.... Unique.

kallieflower: That’s one way to put it lmao.

nori-wings: It was a mess, but we love it.

b l u e: WE are a mess so it's just us in fic form.

kallieflower: God yeah. For one thing, this fic was like 90% chloe with me just making her do crazy things I wanted to happen.

nori-wings: And 5% of what the artists wanted to happen.

b l u e: YEAH hahaha that was kallie too tbh. She was like, "me as a witch would not understand anything about my magic at all and would curse people for kicks, so let's do that."

kallieflower: We would have a general plot of how we wanted to go and what points we wanted to hit. Chloe would start to write it, but then I would be like “WAIT WHAT ABOUT THIS.” And then she would pretend she thought I was a total nuisance but we all know she’s too soft and sweet to ever say no to anything. Also our artists were such a LOVELY help too.

b l u e: We wanted as much of their input as possible and we wanted to make this as much of a collab as we could. The train scene at the beginning of the third chapter was all nori because she was mad at us for only torturing Soul and wanted Maka to cry too.

Q: Nori/Souly did you have a favorite piece of art to make?

the monkey chain (soul): The skating scene was my fave. I also accidentally changed the part in the fic with the skating since I didn't ask what kind of skates they were supposed to be kfljgdf.

b l u e: LMAO it's our fault though!!!! We were Too Slow.

nori-wings: Black*Star dragging Soul and Maka is my favorite, it was super fun to draw.

b l u e: When you sent the first wip of that, I think I cried for days. It was better than my dreams. You were both so fast GOD, it takes me seventeen years just to sketch a pic.

kallieflower: For real tho. We don’t deserve artists.

nori-wings: They are exaggerating, it was a quick sketch that I made on a post it lol. It took me a week to draw it in digital.

the monkey chain (soul): I had free time since we moved and were without internet for a night so I had a ton of time to finish my pic.

Q: Did you have trouble meeting the deadline?

kallieflower: Trouble is putting it lightly lmao. We died. Many times.

b l u e: I don't trust fast writers. Clearly they are superhuman. It wouldn't have been hard if we didn't spend so much time drowning in memes and shitposts that we neglected to write.

kallieflower: I blame the internet.

Q: Were there any scenes that you guys really struggled with writing?

b l u e: The beginning, definitely. Everything else flowed out pretty quickly, but the beginning made us want to cry into our pillows and smash our keyboards.

kallieflower: I think there was a period of time where Chloe was like, “I will physically pay you money to write this scene so I don’t have to.” But yeah, the beginning scenes were definitely hardest to write. I think we rewrote them like a million times.

Q: Nori and Souly, was there a part of your art that was trickier to do?

nori-wings: I think painting Soul and Maka's kiss, because I wanted to use as few colors as possible and I played a lot with shading, or at least I tried haha.

the monkey chain (soul): Uhhhh not really for me? My pieces were relatively simple and probably the most issue I had was drawing Maka's skates and figuring out what Soul would be wearing.

b l u e: I cried when we got paired with souly.

kallieflower: Chloe literally fangirled to hell over getting souly as our second artist. And we were very lucky to get nori as our artist too because we already became really close friends through the zine and talked all the time. Our resbang just gave us an excuse to move all our blabber to a personal server lmao.

nori-wings: Yeah, they asked me to be something like a beta but I ended up being their artist.

kallieflower: We joked about it beforehand too and were SO happy it happened. We were so blessed with support and love this year. We never would’ve finished without the help of our artists and betas.

nori-wings: They are making it sound nice, but we wouldn't let them drop out.

kallieflower: LMFAOOOOOO. Nori likes to be sassy but she’s one of the softest of us all

b l u e: We legitimately would've dropped out if not for our artists.

kallieflower: “Do it for our artists” was our mantra through the whole process when we wanted to quit. Peer pressure makes diamonds, maybe.

b l u e: I mean, it didn't feel like that when we were bullshitting our way through our next 5k before each deadline, but it be like that sometimes.

Q: What was your favourite scene to write?

b l u e: My favorite to write was definitely the nightmare demon scene.

kallieflower: Because she’s a sadist and likes angst. Chloe likes to make people feel pain so her favorite scenes were definitely the angsty ones.

b l u e: FDSJFKDSF

Q: For errbody: what do you feel like you improved/grew in this resbang, writing and arting-wise??

kallieflower: For me, I definitely grew in writing skills even though I didn’t end up writing much of this bang (chloe, bless your soul for carrying me this year lmao) because chloe is SO GOOD at writing that it made me want to be better, learn better, do better.

b l u e: Kallie made me work harder than I ever have my entire life and it paid off SO MUCH. I very much only ever write ventfics.

the monkey chain (soul): I feel like I Peaked with Maka's outfit in the skating picture, like I don't pride myself in outfit design much these days but Maka's outfit came out so good. I didn't expect it.

Q: Were there any parts of Unrequited that really pushed you out of your comfort zone?

b l u e: Writing with someone else was such an experience.

kallieflower: We definitely had to compromise a lot in terms of writing. Like I wanted Soul to walk in on Kid touching Maka’s scar and Chloe immediately said “fine, but only if we make Kid a gardener” and if that isn’t a super fair trade off, idk what is. Chloe and I work so well together so that was easy. And we like a lot of the same things.

b l u e: There was a little adjustment [with adapting to different writing styles] but not much, because despite what kallie says, she's actually so freaking smart and talented it actually makes my eyes water.

Q: If you had the time to do something differently, what would you do and why?

b l u e: Everything. Jk no but really. There's just a lot I wish we could've elaborated on. And more suffering to be had of course. I just wish we had more time to elaborate on Spirit and Maka's mom.

kallieflower: Oh god yeah. Maka did not get enough of a backstory in the manga or anime and that makes me sad always.

Q: What made you both decide on the outcome of the curse? Did the witch know how it was going to affect Kid?

b l u e: We actually knew the outcome from the very beginning when we decided what kind of curse it was.

Q: Okay SO one last question for the crew. What is next!!!! >:)

nori-wings: Next collab is me writing and Chloe as my artist. (She just doesn't know it.)

b l u e: FDHDJFKSDDSF

kallieflower: OMG PLS HAHAHA. I’d be all over that collab. Chloe is working on a soma longfic she won’t let me beta because she’s Secretive. And I am trying to work up the energy to use my keyboard again after the hell that was finishing Resbang.

Thanks to the crew for stopping by! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

#resbang book club #rbbc #rbbc 2018 #resbang 2018 #unrequited

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heartfulofsighs · 5 years

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Baggage Claim Pt. 2

Description: Seunghoon back from a business trip only has a mind for growing his company. You are in the middle of running from the by the book life that was drowning you. When a minor inconvenience sets you in his path will you be the reason he eases up? And could he be what you need to get serious again?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

I’m sticking to deadlines people! Who would have thought. Also please bear with me while I set this all up lol. @negrowhat at this point I feel like you have to get tagged in everything I put out. About 2.7k

It was supposed to be simple. He had texted you the address and after pulling out your laptop you were sure you had your route down.

Cherry had woken up with you the next day, “if I didn’t have a job today I would go with you.” She said as she made breakfast. She refused to let you leave without eating. Maybe the breakfast had given you a false sense of security. Maybe Cherry seeing you off with a wave and a, “please call when you get there,” made you feel as if everything was going to be easy. You hauled his bag down the stairs and set off for the station. And literally everything was downhill from there.

The streets were packed. You wanted to get there early and by taking a certain train you would be able to see more of the city. The crowd slowed you down though and you missed the train you wanted. The earlier train meant you weren’t going to have to rush. It meant that you could take your time and read the signs in the station to make sure you were picking the right exit. This of course didn’t happen. The whole well thought out plan didn’t happen. What did happen involved you rushing. You took the later train, rushed and didn’t read the sign. You took the wrong exit. The one that sent you off in the opposite direction of the cafe. You wanted to stroll. Instead you walked quickly dragging his bag wishing that you could get this whole thing over so your real vacation could begin. By the time you found the cafe you were annoyed and over everything. It was thankfully empty. You pushed your hair out of your face and that’s when you saw him. It had to be him.

He was dressed in a dark blue suit. His tie was loose as if he had pulled on it but that was the only thing that was out of place. His hair was styled with incredible precision. It was dark nearly as dark as his eyes. His face was smooth serious plains, you could guess he wasn’t a smiler. His phone was out and he was scrolling through it. His legs were long. You were use to being the tallest person in the room but he truly had you beat.You took a breath and he looked up in your direction.

He wasn’t ashamed to admit he had expected a certain person. A small girl with something like a plucky attitude. He saw you walking up with his bag pure determination on your face. You were not small. You were tall, your eyes nearly reaching his nose. You also weren’t smiling. You were lugging his bag behind you. In his estimation you looked as if you were over the whole thing.

“Are you Seunghoon?” You asked. He nodded a bit stunned. You were determined. Oddly adorably determined. He could see it in the way your mouth was set. You pushed your hand through your hair and pulled his bag forward.

“Sorry I’m late,” you started, “I got a little lost.”

“I can tell.” He said it before he could stop himself. He was so use to being sarcastic, usually people brushed it off or chuckled. But you did neither. The look on your face moved into complete annoyance in a matter of seconds. Your eyes darted to your bag, just behind his legs, “well I wouldn’t want to take up anymore of your time,”

He felt...strange. For some reason he didn’t want you to have a bad impression of him. He wanted you to at least not think if him as an asshole.

“I’m sorry,” he stood straight from the counter and cleared his throat, “I-”

“No, it’s fine...you’ve probably been waiting, I took the later train and-” You stopped talking. Cutting yourself off abruptly. You took a breath and then actually forced a smile. He saw the effort and it made him feel even worse. He wanted it to be genuine.

“Lemme get you a coffee, or a tea…” He offered. He saw you thinking about it. You had an expressive face and he could see you mentally going back and forth.

“And a danish?” He added. That made the decision. You nodded. He led the way to a table, “so which one, coffee or tea?” He asked as he pulled out a chair. You sat with a huff and he waited for your answer patiently. In the time it took for you to decide, he saw you trying to calm yourself. You took large breaths, you played with your fingers, and then you finally looked up at him.

“Do they have hot chocolate here?” You asked him. He cocked his head, he hadn’t ordered one of those in years.

“Yeah, they have them here.” He finally said. He made to walk away then turned before he had gotten to far, “do you want whipped cream?” He asked. A smile stretched across your face. A genuine one. The expression felt warm, he liked it.

“Yes please.”

A lot of your early morning frustration was melted by the hot chocolate that Seunghoon set in front of you along with a pretty sizable cheese danish. You sipped your cup and settled further into your chair.

“So, I’m guessing you’re on vacation?” He asked. You nodded and took another sip. Enjoying the warm chocolate and especially the whipped cream. You hummed to yourself content, it took you a moment to realize that he was waiting for you to speak.

“You’re from here right?” You asked.

“Yeah, I’m back from a business trip.” He explained.

“What do you do?” You asked as you took a piece of the danish. You chewed waiting for his answer. He picked up his own cup.

For some reason you were feeling talkative, maybe it was the warm feeling from the drink? Maybe it was from the joy of actually sitting down. Or the fact that you had your bag back.

“Marketing,” He said, he pulled a piece of danish and chewed.

“What about you?” He asked. You were knocked off your cloud almost instantly. That’s right you were, basically unemployed.

“I’m not really in anything right now.” You said truthfully. He thought about what you said for a moment then shrugged. If he was judging you his face never gave it away. You twiddled your fingers in your lap and looked around at the cafe.

“Listen,” he began, after popping another piece of danish in his mouth, “do you want me to give you a ride back?” When you turned your eyes to his he looked just a touch concerned.

“I don’t want you to get lost again…” he said.

“I’m fine.” You pushed every bit of confidence into your voice, “I don’t have to rush back so it should be easy getting to my airbnb.” Because you didn’t want to impose on him anymore. It was bad enough your bags were switched in the first place.

“Alright if you’re sure.” He said. You nodded and decided to make that your cue. You stood taking your cup but leaving the rest of the danish to him. You waved, “thanks so much and I’m sorry that this whole mix up happened in the first place.” It sounded a little fake to your own ears but what else was there to say. You were sure he was busy. He had places to be. He stood with you, “don‘t be sorry. It was an honest mistake.” He said. He adjusted his jacket then grabbed his bag.

Outside in the sunlight he made sure to pull his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket. He watched you try to lug your bag, in the opposite direction of the station. He should have just let you go. He had his bag and you had yours. He definitely didn’t owe you anything but he couldn’t help himself. He followed you stopping you by clearing his throat.

“You’re going the wrong way.” He said when you turned. Your mouth took on this defiant tilt and he knew immediately you were going to argue. He shouldn’t have said anything, should have let you just stroll off and be done with it.

“I’m-”

“How about this.” He began before you could really get going, “I’m going to drop you off in the neighborhood your staying at. I won’t know which building it is and it’ll save you lugging that bag on a train.” He said. He imagined he would wonder all the rest of the day if you made it back. This was his way of fending that worry off and keeping his mind on things that were important.

“Just wait for me to get my car from the buildings valet.” He said. He waited for you to agree.

“No.” You said quietly, “just point me in the right direction. I don’t need you to go out of your way.” You pushed. He was momentarily stuck without much to say. He buttoned his jacket and nodded, “ok,” he pointed up the street in the opposite way you were headed, “the station is that way.”

Off you went without another word. He watched you eventually putting his hand to his bag and rolling it away.

Despite his best efforts he did think of you on his way home. He thought of you as he rode the elevator up to his apartment. When he walked in he had built himself up to a good silent pout. He pulled his bag to one of his couches and opened it. Everything was just as he had packed it. If only Mino had left your things alone. You had managed to leave all of his clothes untouched. He frowned as he began taking out things that needed dry cleaning and things that he could wash at home. After a while of brooding his phone rang, “hello?” He put the phone on speaker as he balled up a pair of socks.

“Hey, let’s get dinner?” Mino’s voice called. Hoon rolled his eyes, “I don’t feel like it.” He stated.

“You never feel like it...come on we should celebrate a good meeting!” He pushed.

“We don’t know if it’s good or not.” He countered. He could almost feel his friend’s frustration through the phone. But he wasn’t wrong. Seungyoon had seemed interested in becoming their client but no paperwork had been signed. He rightfully wanted to think about it. He heard a hard sigh from his phone, “well I’ll come over then.” He concluded.

“No,” Hoon said firmly, “I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Stuff?” Mino echoed.

“Yeah, laundry.” He explained. Another pause this one long enough to think maybe the phone had cut off. But Mino was still there, “ahhhhh you got your bag back right?”

“Yeah.” He said.

“Was she pretty? Did you guys hit it off?” He asked. He thought of you. You were pretty of course. He thought of how tall you were, how you glowed from (he guessed) rushing from the train. Even though you had refused his offer, there was something to be said about a strong personality. He liked that you had stood your ground.

“We literally just switched bags, and she went back to her airbnb. Nothing special.” He stood up juggling socks and underwear.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, we have a lot to work on.” He said seriously.

“Fine, fine. See you tomorrow.” The line cut and he started towards the washer in the back of his apartment. He dropped a pair of socks that bounced under his love seat. He couldn’t reason while the laundry was annoying him so much. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was a little worried about whether you had made it back or not. Your bag had been much heavier than his. He hoped that your destination was close. He didn’t want to imagine that you had a long way to go or that you could possibly get lost again. You weren’t his problem anymore. He had his things back. Why worry? He went back and forth with himself as he loaded his washer, then went back for the lone pair of socks that had tried to escape him. He was on his hands and knees slapping his hand underneath his couch. He felt something that wasn’t the fabric of socks. He pulled it out and stared down at the card with the wild flowers on the front, he opened it. A picture fell out face down on the carpet, he read the writing on the back outloud.

“Here’s hoping you find this smile again. I miss it.” It was signed ‘mom’ and he wondered who’s mom wrote it.

He flipped the picture over and there you were. The camera was centered on you, wearing a green dress at what looked like a beach. You were beaming. Smiling so brightly your eyes were nearly closed. He felt that smile in his chest. It was so strong it caused him to grin as he looked down at it. It took a moment for him to realize that he was smiling like an idiot at his floor. What the hell was he supposed to do with it? The socks were forgotten. He stood up your picture in hand, he could call you but then he would have to explain that he opened your bag. That was something that he didn’t have the energy for at the moment. Instead of calling he walked to his fridge and hung the picture there with a magnet. He could worry about it later.

The train ride back was much easier. You looked out the window and thought about your encounter with Seunghoon. He was a man who was use to people obeying. You could tell that right off the bat. It wasn’t a bad thing and it made sense to you since he ran his own business but it wasn’t something you were going to feed. You had just escaped an office of that. You didn’t want to go back.

Once you had your things in your Airbnb you went about the task of putting everything away. Cherry was still at work so you had the whole space to yourself. It was quiet and peaceful. The window in your room letting in tons of calming light. This was what you wanted to get out of leaving. Peace. Maybe you thought a little about Seunghoon’s serious face but only to consider what he would look like if he smiled. Wouldn’t that be something to see? The serious plans of his face shifting into something soft. You considered it more and more. Until you realized you were lost in a daydream and snapped out of it.

Before you had set off on your trip you had time to list places that you wanted to go. It was long and diverse, filled with things that interested you. When Cherry got home you were looking through it at the kitchen table.

“Hey!” She called. Her voice filling up the space. You smiled at her as she shrugged her jacket off and came to sit with you, “did you get your stuff? You never texted me...I was a little worried.” She confessed.

“Sorry, yeah I got it.” You said.

“What was he like?” She asked quietly, “from the voicemail he sounded really....businessy.” She said with a laugh. She was right about that. He was very professional very to the point. But he hadn’t been rude.

“He was nice. He tried to give me a ride home...but I figured that wasn’t smart.” You explained. Her face formed a thoughtful frown. You wished you looked pretty when you frowned.

“Well I’m glad you got it back.” She said. Then she was standing up and walking to the fridge, “did you eat? I’m starving.” She stated. You volunteered to cook for her since she had made you breakfast. You were never a champion cook but you knew how to feed yourself. She didn’t complain, in fact she complimented your hamburgers as you sat back at the table.

“Wouldn’t it be funny,” she spoke between bites, “if you and that guy were like meant to meet?” She finished. You shrugged, “I don’t think things like that happen in real life.” You confessed. She pouted again.

“It happens.” She asserted. “I bet you that fate will just keep pushing you two together...mark my words.”

You didn’t want to argue. There was no point to it. Even if she was right nothing would come of you two meeting. Even though this trip was long it still had an end date. A time when you had decide what you were going to do with yourself. You didn’t need some guy complicating something that was already pretty complicated.

#winner #yg winner #seunghoon #seunghoon fic #Baggage Claim Series #Baggage Claim #part 2 #eboni thanks for the title #kpop fanfiction #sfw fanfic #thanks for bearing with me during the set up #I promise it'll get good

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bye-hadfun · 5 years

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under the neon lights

Chapter One: December 1st, 2012

Trigger Warnings: slight homophobia

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: despite everything, they’re still together, and that’s what matters to Dan.

Or, alternatively, two times dnp visit nyc to see the ball drop

Written for the @phandomreversebang , inspired by @catzoomies beautiful art, and beta’d by the lovely and supportive @ty-ly-bby / @literally-just-fandoms

i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it.

Ao3 link

‘Fuck off.’

‘Excuse me? I’ve been nothing but patient Dan. What more do you want from me-’

‘I said fuck off.’ Dan slammed his door with a sort of finalty, a short breath escaping from his throat. He doesn’t mean to hurt Phil, ever, but these days the sky seems a bit duller than usual, and words are too much for Dan. He’ll apologize later and Phil will accept, and they will eat dinner and pretend that nothing’s wrong with Dan, with their relationship, with their life. That’s just how they work.

He can hear Phil in the lounge, talking on his phone, voice distant yet still decipherable. He know he shouldn’t, yet Dan still puts his ear to the wall, desperate to hear even a sliver of Phil’s normal voice. It’s been ages since they’ve had a calm conversation. Not that they ever talk much at all these days.

‘I just don't know what to do. Everything is so messy, you know? Sometimes I regret even moving in with him.’

There was silence on the other end and Dan assumed it was just Kath speaking. Hopefully.

‘I do love him, but love can only do so much. If this keeps up- what am I even going to do? Break up with him?”

Dan let out an involuntary gasp at that one. Even at the worst points in their relationship, he never assumed either of them would consider breaking up. It was Phil and Dan, Dan and Phil, the inseparable duo. Whatever he said in the videos, it was just a defense mechanism, and Phil knew that, right?

“I know, mum, but what would you do? I doubt you and Dad had these problems- and even if you did, this is the internet. You’ve never known anything like this, Mum. It’s terrifying.” Phil stifled a sob. “They’re everywhere, prying and spreading hate. We just want to live, and they won’t let us. Why does everything have to be about our relationship? Even if they found out, what would they do with the information? Can’t they just enjoy our content and shut up?”

Phil has his own way with words. Whilst Dan had emotional blow ups, Phil had, what could best be described as his word clusterfuck breakdown moments. He spoke less, compared to Dan, but that boy could talk his way out of a murder if he so wished. That, combined with his Eenglish degree, Dan sometimes thoughtthink that he would’ve been a better lawyer than Dan if he wasn’t so damn empathetic.

But that empathy is basically the only thing holding their relationship together at the moment, so he should be thankful.

Should he?

Sometimes, late at night under the covers, when they had had an argument and tears were threatening to spill, Dan wished that he never met Phil. Sure, he’d be miserable at law school and forced to be a lawyer for the rest of his life, but he wouldn’t harbour this immense sense of loss and heartbreak.

He never meant to hurt Phil- god,he hated seeing Phil sad. He would do anything just to put a smile on that boy’s face, and whatever Phil wanted, Dan would provide. Once upon a time, before the dreaded video leak, he was sure that Phil would too. Now? He’s not so sure.

Dan is slowly retreating back into his mind now, bringing back bad memories of The Day, and losing focus of the phone call in the living room. Hazily, he thinks it might be his brain’s shitty way of trying to protect him from what he might overhear, but it was too late. The memories were already returning, flooding his senses and drowning out the world. It was just him, his brain, and- Phil. Being tagged in every one of Dan’s mentions, their twitters, social media, and messages blowing up, and Phil crying on their kitchen floor, because of course the video leaked whilst they were making breakfast. Their most peaceful and normal routine, broken by the irregular and madness of the internet. Every tweet was about the same, and that ought to balance out the stress, but it didn’t. They kept pouring in, tens and thousands of the same message with different varieties, and every one of them just added fuel to Phil’s tears.

They had dealt with this once before. They could do it again.

Dan remembered it clear as day: Him, calmly picking up Phil’s phone and going onto YouTube to private the video again, tweeting out their response ‘It was just a joke we made!’, answering the texts from their family and friends, soothing those who knew and deflecting those who didn’t. Turning and hugging Phil from time to time when his sobs grew louder, when he saw in the corner of his eyes that he was shrinking into himself. He smoothed down his hair and comforted him, reassuring him that it was all ok. Gentle whispers of ‘I love you, it’s going to be ok’ murmured against skin.

Phil, after four hours and one cup of hot chocolate, ceased crying and started to help Dan fix things. He remembered Phil smiling sadly and saying, “Isn’t it sad, Bear, that all this is just a PR nightmare for someone else? Yet it’s hell for us.”

Dan whipped his head over to look at Phil, to try to comfort him somehow, but Phil only shaked his head slightly and started to reply to some of Marianne’s emails. It was for the best. Dan wasn’t even sure what he could say- ‘It’s not like that?’ ‘Don’t you dare talk about our relationship like that?’ Every word he said would just make the situation worse.

So he kept his mouth shut, and they plundered through their phones for the rest of the day, until the emails ceased, their text messages was cleared, and Twitter calmed down. (Or at least some of them had enough sense to stop tagging them). They went to Phil’s room, closed all the blinds, and burrowed under the bedsheets, whispering their sorrows and apologies.

Dan had finally let himself cry, and Phil had held him, his own tears dropping on Dan’s hair, and for the first time, Dan had doubted their relationship. Whether it was a good idea, two teenagers meeting on the Internet and working on a job online, where everything is exposed to the public?

But then Phil kissed him on the forehead and snuggled in closer to Dan’s neck, and Dan is grateful. No matter what happens, YouTube brought them together, and he’ll forever be grateful for that. Even if shit like this happens.

As he drifted off to sleep, he was vaguely aware of Phil’s tears on his neck, faint sniffling coming from his side. Frowning, he reached out for Phil’s face, wanting to wipe the tears tracks off his face, but Phil just gently pushed him away with a wet chuckle, and so he let sleep drag him into consciousness.

He still doesn’t know why Phil cried. He just know that, the next day when he woke up, Phil was back to his normal self again, all traces of sadness gone, a sharp glint of anger to his eyes. That was the same day they sent a harshly-worded letter to YouTube, informing them of their slip-up in the system. They received not a response, but an entire update ensuring ‘more privacy for creators’. Phil had smiled coldly at that.

It scared Dan sometimes, when Phil’s coldness shows. He’s truly different when he’s angry, and Dan would never like to be at the other side of his wrath. Dan had only seen it in action, once, when Dan was called a slur on a train ride. Phil had gone still, so still that Dan’s brain couldn’t register when he saw Phil’s fist connecting with the guy’s face. One moment to the next, and Phil was pummeling the living lights out of the dude. By the time Dan could react, the guy was already backing up, holding his hands up in surrender. Tugging Phil gently away from the scene, hoping not to trigger anything else, they made it back to the apartment. They never talked about it.

Dan was brought out from his reverie by Phil’s gentle knocking on the door.

“Dan? I don’t know if you’re still angry, but i made pasta. I’ll leave a plate for you in the fridge if you don’t come out in thirty.” There was a little pause on the other side of the door, almost like Phil was hesitating, before he continued to speak. “You know i love you, right? I really wish I could help you with your problems, but I can’t always do that when you’re stuck in your head.”

As Phil walked away, immense panic washed over Dan. What if this was it? They’re going to break up, and Dan’s going to get his heart broken, move back in with his parents, and his YouTube dream might as well die. Most importantly, he’ll lose Phil. Phil, who’s so patient with him every time he has a breakdown. Phil, who loves him so much that he’s willing to put up with his ‘scared of the dark’ bullshit, closing the lights after Dan’s been securely tucked up in bed, soft fairy lights illuminating the room whilst waiting for him. Phil, the person who got him through some of his darkest days.

He has to try, for Phil.

Dan’s looking around the room, searching for ideas to make it up to Phil, when it hit him. Phil’s been talking about going to NYC for years now, since they first started Skyping. The man had a weird affinity for touristy places, and Dan could never understand why. But it was Phil, and wherever Phil went, he would go.

Quickly typing in the Google search bar, he found what he wanted and smiled. A genuine one, a rare sight these days. He winced a bit at the price - but it was worth it. Hopefully. Dan scanned their schedule briefly, just to make sure they were completely free. He didn’t want to receive an angry phone call or email from their nice (also hot-tempered, but you didn’t hear that from Dan) manager, Marianne, scolding them because they missed a potentially important meeting. It still amazed Dan that YouTubers actually had meetings to attend, brand deals to accept, deadlines to meet. There wasn’t the pressure of an office job, but it was still jarring, how YouTube was an actual job. It made him feel like a celebrity. But of course, he thought to himself, amused, we’re not actually stars that can attend important events.

Focusing back on the monitor, Dan entered his credit card number, and confirmed the transaction. Sure, it was a noticeable dent in his bank account, but they had the Radio 1 gig later on anyways. It couldn’t hurt that much to have a nice week long holiday with his boyfriend.

Especially if it meant saving their crumbling relationship.

Humming softly under his breath, Dan unlocked his door and practically skipped out to the lounge. He’ll try his best to keep his temper in check. He was in an exceptionally good mood, and suspected that Phil would be too, once he got the news. It was no Japan, but New York City couldn’t be that far off.

“Phil?” Dan yelled down the stairs. This was new to him, having to shout to alert the other. In the Manchester apartment, the space was so small, so cramped, sometimes Dan wondered if Phil could hear him through the wall singing songs whilst he edited. His suspicions were confirmed one day when he broke off in the middle of the Llama song and Phil picked it up. He nearly choked on his drink. The Manchester apartment was filled with fond memories. He hoped that this one would be too.

“Yeah?” Phil was answering in a struggling voice, which meant either a) he was holding something heavy, or b) he was taking out his contacts and was trying not to poke himself in the eye. Dan was secretly pleased he knew Phil well enough to know this.

“Have you had dinner yet? I wanna watch a show with you while we eat, if that’s fine?” Dan said this with some preparation of disappointment. Given that he had just yelled in his face, Dan was sure that Phil would be salty, even if he had cooked dinner.

There was a slight pause, and then Phil replied, “Yeah sure, just let me finish taking off my contacts first!”

Dan did a little fist pump in the air for getting scenario b right, then turned back to the kitchen to get the pasta Phil had promised. Taking care to close all the cupboard doors first so he wouldn’t get a weirdly shaped bruise on his face for the next week and drop their pasta in the process, he managed to safely get the pasta on two plates and make it out to the lounge.

Phil was there already, looking a bit anxious with his glasses on, seated on the sofa changing the channels mindlessly. It was immensely cute. Dan smiled for a bit, stalling in the hallway before walking over to the couch, promptly plopping himself next to Phil. Depositing one of the plates on Phil’s lap, he blurted out what he had been meaning to say for the past half hour.

“I’m sorry.”

Phil, originally planning on devouring the plate of pasta, paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “What?” He stared at Dan disbelievingly, almost as if he couldn’t believe- oh.

He never did apologize to Phil, huh. He’d always just assume that the unspoken apology was enough, that Phil understood him. It was a shitty move.

“I’m sorry. For yelling at you this afternoon. It was unprecedented and you didn’t deserve it, and you even made pasta for me.” Staring down at his plate, Dan collected himself before speaking again. “I’m just scared, you know? I don’t want us to fall apart because of some mean comments on the internet. But they’re under my skin constantly, talking about things they have absolutely no business meddling in.”

“Is it really so hard for us to be just- us? Dan and Phil? Sometimes, i swear, it feels like it's the whole world against us. The turmoil, the battles, the accusations, they're overwhelming.”

Phil smiled a bit. “Dan and Phil Versus the world, huh.”

Dan broke into a grin, and replied, “Dan and Phil Versus the world.”

And so for the first time in what seemed like months, Dan fell asleep peacefully, with Phil by his side, all of their problems thrown out the window.

The ticket can wait, Dan decided. He'll wait till it's right.

Until then, he'll just let himself be held by Phil, feeling safe and warm in their own little world.

#danielhowell #amazingphil #dan and phil #phandom #phanfic #my fics #prb

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acat-lady · 5 years

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12 Days of Christmas

Summary: {Pre-JW} Have you ever wondered what happened in Jurassic World that there was not a single Christmas decoration up when the first movie takes place?

Prompt sent via Twitter: Claire and Owen team up to mess with Jurassic World’s Christmas decorations.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Claire knew it was that time of the year she dreaded the most because of Simon Masrani’s constant memos. She didn’t have anything against the holiday itself, she just had something against the unnecessary need to start the ‘Christmas Spirit’ almost three months in advance.

The redhead always pushed Decoration Time as far back as she could. The previous year, her boss hadn’t been able to pay his monthly visit in November so she had managed to keep Jurassic World Christmas-free until the second week of December.

She didn’t have such luck this time around. She was standing at the helipad, the sun shining bright and warm above Isla Nublar, making it impossible to tell it was supposed to be winter.

The ends of the skirt she was wearing were lightly flapping to the side, as the helicopter carrying her boss around the island carefully landed.

“Mr. Masrani.” Claire greeted him with a nod before she could lead him down and into the park. His visit was marking the first day of Christmas at Jurassic World, a season that wouldn’t make it past twelve days this time around.

“Where is my Christmas tree, Claire?” The CEO wondered the moment they reached the heart of the park and not a single Christmas decoration was in sight.

The operations manager sighed and rolled her eyes while still standing behind him, “Well this year we decided to do something a little different, sir.” She walked him over to the side and pointed at a small fern on the ground. “And went with a Christmas fern!” She grinned. The green plant had a few Christmas lights around it and small Christmas balls.

“We are planning on making it a whole attraction, put a BIG Christmassy sign here and have people take photos with it.” She explained, “we discussed having a few compys for the photo sessions, but legals advised against it.” She smirked. “I heard these are very popular in Japan.”

“Didn’t you get my memo?” Simon raised an eyebrow. Claire knew he wouldn’t agree with any of that, but it was more of a cheap excuse as to why his park hadn’t had Santa elves thrown all over it.

“I did, sir.”

“I want a big fat Christmas tree!” He exclaimed. “I want it up this afternoon, Claire! It’s already mid November, we don’t want our guest satisfaction to drop due to our lack of Christmas spirit!”

“Actually, sir—“

“No excuses, Claire. I want this done today. We will invite every guest to come gather around the tree to watch it light up!”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded and pulling her iPhone out, she e-mailed her maintenance manager so he could bring the Christmas decorations out and get his team working on setting them up.

****

Simon’s deadline was impossible to meet, and so it took more than a couple of days for her personnel to hang green pine garlands from one end to the other and have Christmas lights twinkling around trees and ferns.

Simon hadn’t minded that it had taken more than a few hours, as he saw the maintenance staff working hard on it ever since he had given the instruction.

By the fourth day of Christmas time in Jurassic World, the big fat tree the boss had required was already standing in Main Street and Christmas carols played through the speakers around the island, including on the ferries and monorail.

A guest-favorite attraction was the SantaSaurus, standing 10 feet tall between the Hilton resort and the dining area. The gigantic T-Rex wearing a Santa Claus hat and beard had taken some hard work to be assembled and kept standing between the bushes and fences surrounding the resort. The line to take a picture with the thing was outrageous, but it made Simon happy to see visitors engaging with it and proving his point.

“See, Claire!” Masrani pointed out with a smile, “The guests love it!”

The redhead sighed and looked away, her eyes noticing Owen Grady at Bobby’s Falafel Stand a few feet away from her: he was sipping on a soda — which she imagined was one of the many Bob slipped him for free. Owen didn’t seem too amused by any of this, either. After a few seconds, the raptor trainer locked eyes with her and tilted his head at the sight of her distressed look, a lopsided grin on his face.

Claire frowned and sighed, for a moment there, it was like both of them were having an entire conversation just by looking at each other. There was a little bit of history between them, and a complicated one at that. Not too long ago, Owen had asked her on a date, which had eventually ended horribly. The complicated part was that, in a way, neither of them had really wanted it to go badly, since the attraction they felt for each other was quite strong and impossible to ignore.

Their mutual reluctancy to admit they each had some blame for their evening going down into flames, made them just pin it on each other and end the whole thing on a bitter note. Long story short... they didn’t like each other (or at least they pretended they didn’t) and weren’t on the best of terms.

Claire rolled her eyes and, crossing her arms against her chest, she looked away the moment some other girl wearing a Santa hat surprised Owen from behind and hugged his waist. He had to break eye contact too, so he could greet the girl. Two seconds later, he had his eyes searching for Claire again, who was now walking back to the park with her boss.

By the sixth day of Christmas time, Claire was already losing it over those damn carols that went on all day long. She was rubbing her temples while sitting at her desk, Rudolph the insufferable reindeer and Frosty the fat ass loser had given her a headache. But what annoyed the operations manager the most, was that she couldn’t even escape the damn music...it didn’t matter where she went, it was always playing. It was in the hallway outside her office, in the elevator, outside in the actual park, and even back home.

She had sent an email requesting maintenance to stop with that music already. Or at least cut it a bit. It was inevitable to have it playing in the park all day long, but why did they have to blast it in the offices, too? No one was asking for it, and if there were people out there who appreciated the tunes... well, she had advised them to get a pair of headphones and play the carols on their own devices.

She soon got an e-mail back from her maintenance manager saying he couldn’t fulfill her request. The music was staying on. It infuriated her that even if she was on the top of the food chain here, she didn’t have the authority to turn that nonsense off.

By the eighth day, it was getting out of control, and not being in control was a deadly trigger for Claire Dearing. Now she couldn’t even eat without having a fucking Santa Claus being pushed down her throat...literally. Jurassic World was slowly turning everything into being Christmas-related, engaging every human sense in the spirit. Starbucks had been the first one to introduce their holiday season beverages and in the blink of an eye, even their burgers and sandwiches had Christmas names and decorations all over them.

It was on the ninth day of Christmas time that the redhead noticed those poor baby assets at the petting zoo now being exploited, dressed as reindeers, while the youngest of their guests rode them around their pen.

It had taken the park ten days to be completely drowned into the Christmas spirit, everything in sight was decorated with gold, red, and green. The only thing you could hear around were those cheerful carols, the food and beverages were all holiday inspired, Jurassic World even smelled like winter when it was eighty degrees out there.

It had taken about sixty people and a week an a half to set it up ...and it was only going to take two people and two days to bring it all down.

****

The operations manager had stuck around until closing time on the eleventh day. Every guest had already been escorted out to the resort area by 10PM. Every employee had already clocked out, which was the redhead’s cue to start what she had been carefully planning all day long.

She was done with that stupid music and the eyesore of a Christmas three twinkling in her face every time she had to head to her office. She was done with everything and was determined to make it stop. She knew she couldn’t do it all on her own, though, and that’s why she had driven her car down to the only other person she had noticed wasn’t too fond of Christmas bullshit.

It was around ten thirty when Claire found her fingers fixing her hair and her outfit on her way up to his bungalow. She took a deep breath, she knew she had to keep it civil if she wanted his help. However, Owen answering the door shirtless and with messy hair threw her off a bit.

It took her a couple of seconds to find words. “I know we can’t stand each other... but... how would you feel about helping me destroy all that Christmas crap?” She smiled softly.

“I’ll go get my tools.” He didn’t hesitate and, leaving the door open, he went back inside. He found his shirt and after putting it on, he grabbed his tool box and met Claire back outside. She had tried to peek inside, wondering if he was alone or that girl from the other day was in there with him, but he was ready to go before she could investigate more.

Once back at the park, Claire led the way to the Control Center. Now that the park was closed, the room was empty. Owen stayed in the back while she overrode the security system and shut down the security cameras so they wouldn’t get caught. She double checked everything, making sure each paddock and enclosure was still closed and secured before they headed out.

The first thing that had to go was that annoying music, even if it was usually finally off by this time of the day. Claire and Owen found themselves in the operating department. It was similar in size to a radio cabin, a lot of buttons everywhere that controlled every light in the park as well as the speakers.

“You shut off the lights, I turn off the music?” Claire smiled, looking back at Owen, who was as curious as a little boy around all those buttons.

He smirked and nodded, his fingers slowly pressing one button at the time. They couldn’t see it from there, but the park grew darker with each line of Christmas lights he turned off. Of course, these could be turned back on the next day, but they needed them off so they could go on with their plan back down there in the dark.

Claire found the source of her countless headaches in a laptop connected to the whole speakers system. She smiled and, nibbling on her lips, she got access into it and deliberately started deleting every single Christmas playlist that had been had put together. She also took advantage of that moment to delete all the songs she was already tired of hearing throughout the year.

In less than ten minutes, they were now standing back on Main Street, on a ladder, while reaching the end of the lights and unplugging them before letting them fall on the ground.

“I’ll race you to the other end...” Owen smiled. They each grabbed one line of lights and started running to the other end while dragging along both the lights and the garlands. Claire laughed, looking back and watching how the two main ones they had pulled down, had brought a lot of the rest down with them.

They repeated the same process all the way to the dining area around the resort, where they met that 10-feet T-Rex. Claire pushed it, making it stumble a little, but it was too heavy and the sound of it hitting the floor would definitely bring some attention to the now closed area. “I want to rip off this son of a bitch’s head so bad!” She started punching it on the stomach. “‘See, Claire! They love it!’” She mocked her boss’s accent, “ugh.”

“I think you should.” Owen enabled her with a grin and a nod.

“No.” She chuckled, “this thing cost us a thousand of dollars!” She shook her head.

“And all the crap we have taken down so far didn’t?” He arched an eyebrow.

Claire nibbled on her lower lip and nodded. She quietly went looking for the supply closet on one side of the resort and in a matter of ten minutes, Owen eyed her walking back with a gas chainsaw in her hands. He trotted over to meet her halfway and took the tool from her.

Once back in front of the T-Rex, the redhead released a sigh. She looked down to her heels and figured she’d come out of there with all sorts of scratches on her legs, but it was for a good cause.

“Careful, okay~” Owen smiled softly and squeezed her shoulder lightly. He knew she had the determination to step into those bushes and figure out a way to climb those ten feet up.

Claire smiled back and, taking a deep breath, she slowly started to squeeze herself in between the bushes. She made it to the other side in a minute and slowly started to figure out a way to climb up the statue. It took her a couple of head scratches to find a way. She tried doing it from the front, side, and even back but she couldn’t make it past the knees of the stupid thing.

“Care to lend me a hand?” She called out, a flushed grin on her face.

Owen sighed, finding his way around the bushes. He put the chainsaw down and shot Claire a flirty smirk before he licked his lips.

“What?” She tilted her head before she could read his thoughts. She blushed lightly and rolled her eyes. “Yeah... enjoy it while it lasts.” She teased him, her foot using his hands as leverage as he pushed her up. “I hope your girlfriend isn’t the jealous type.” She mumbled, trying to grab onto the tiny arms of the animal, but Owen was having trouble getting her all the way up, her heels hurting his hands too much.

He brought her down. “Not my girlfriend.” He shook his head, a light smile on his lips. Claire couldn’t help smiling back, and a second later she cleared her throat. “So...do you want to try this from over my shoulders?” He suggested.

Claire fixed her skirt and looked up to the T-Rex which now she felt was just mocking her. “Yeah~” She sighed and let him bring her up over his shoulders. “So... how come?” Claire simply couldn’t drop the subject, “she didn’t find your board shorts sexy?” She sounded a little bitter when saying this.

Owen chuckled, slowly letting the tip of his fingers slide around her calves while inching closer to the T-Rex so she could reach the arms. “Didn’t wear them this time.” He casually said, knowing it would upset her.

Claire looked down, finding his eyes, while he looked up and frowned lightly. “So, try to get a hold of them from up there, okay?” Owen broke the silence that had grown among them.

She released a sigh, and once she rested her trembling knees on his shoulders, she tried to see if she could reach that high. Owen helped her with her balance, his hands steady on her, moving them around where she needed the support.

“ARE YOU CRAZY!?” She pulled on his ear the moment she felt his hand on her ass.

“OUCH!” He complained, his hand not moving. “Let go, you crazy lady!” He chuckled.

“YOU let go first, perv!” She was blushing, glad he couldn’t see that.

“Okay okay okay...” He brought both his hands up in the air.

“Don’t let go! Are you crazy?” She called out, feeling how she was now losing her balance.

Owen laughed and quickly helped her get steady. “For what is worth, you have a great ass.” He teased her before feeling her stab her heels on his shoulders, as she finally managed to reached those arms.

Once Claire got comfortable up there, the first thing she did was reaching down. “Chainsaw, please~” She grinned. Owen slowly handed it over to her and she found a way to start it up. She started cutting from the back to the front, and in a couple of minutes, the head fell onto the bushes, allowing Owen to stop it from going further down and make a loud noise.

Once the chainsaw was turned off, he took it back from Claire and then helped her down.

By midnight, Claire and Owen were standing in front of that big fat Christmas tree. They were wondering how to bring it down fast. “Suggestions?” She wondered, the man rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’s that?” He called out after hearing a groan.

They both went quiet, focusing their ears in their surroundings hoping to hear the noise again. They got distracted, looking around the petting zoo area and even the pools to see if they could find the source.

“Oh no....” The redhead frowned recognizing the peculiar sound after a few groans. “How does she keep doing that!?” It was frustrating.

“Who keeps doing what?” Owen wondered before his eyes fell on the young Stygimoloch wandering around. “Oh~”

“This is the third time she gets out in a month.” She explained. “She’s a little temperamental, so...” she grabbed his shirt and slowly started to pull him over to the nearest tranq guns safe case.

“Or... maybe she just wants to help?” Owen smiled, looking back at the tree behind them.

“You are crazy.” She shook her head.

“Maybe.” He grinned. “You get that gun.” He slowly let go of her and stood right in the middle of the road. He waited for Claire to have the gun in her hands and whistled, hoping he could get the dinosaur’s attention.

It worked right away: Stiggy didn’t like the sound of whistles and it got her aggressive. The dino turned up, and groaning louder, she started running towards Owen.

He kept whistling at her, bringing her towards the Christmas tree. Claire ran beside him, with the gun ready to shoot if needed.

By the fourth whistle, Owen managed to have the young asset run over the tree, making it fall on the ground and break every single ball and Christmas light on it.

“OWEN!?” Claire called out after watching him dodge that one and rolling to the side against the ferns.

“I’m okay!” He called out. That was Claire’s cue to go Stiggy hunting and bring her back to her arena.

The sun rose on the twelfth day of Christmas time, greeting every single decoration completely destroyed and on the ground, along with a defeated Christmas tree and a decapitated SantaSaurus. Most of the Jurassic World employees were glad this madness had come end thanks to mysterious vandals, but the cleaning department was cursing them under their breath.

As for Claire and Owen, they had spent the night sleeping against a baby triceratops. The redhead gently curled up around Owen with her hand resting on his chest, while his right arm kept her close and warm. It had been a long night, but both were soundly asleep with a tender smile on their faces.

#claire dearing #clawen #owen grady #Jurassic World #fanfic #humor #fluff #christmas #antichristmas #oneshot #island clawen #pre-Jurassic World

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kimjongdaely · 7 years

Text

Façade [Chapter 7]

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Warning: Language

Summary: You thought you wanted fame. You thought you wanted this. But a part of you still yearned for that normal life, a normal love: finding someone that you love and will love you back with all his heart. So soon enough, this became too much for you.

Prologue│Chapter 1│Chapter 2│Chapter 3│Chapter 4│Chapter 5│ Chapter 6│Chapter 7│Epilogue

You stare at the envelope in your shaky hands, having a strong urge to burn it, yet wanting to know what’s inside. Curiosity getting the best of you, and you finally bring yourself to slowly rip it open, suspense gnawing away at your stomach.

You pull out a letter and you unfold it to reveal Chanyeol’s handwriting. His handwriting has always been cute and organized. You couldn’t help but run your fingers over the small dents the words make in the paper.

There’s something else in the envelope.

You pour it out onto your hand and your stomach immediately drops.

His wedding ring.

You clutch it tightly in your hand, feeling the cutting bite into your palm.

You skim through his letter.

I wonder if you’re reading this letter? I’m afraid you might tear it up before you ever read it. But that’s fine, I suppose. I don’t expect you to care anyways.

I’m sorry. Truly. I didn’t treat you well and my justification for that is that I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I knew our marriage was fake, that it will have a deadline someday, but I was stupid and I ended everything myself.

I know you won’t forgive me. I know that no matter how many times I apologize it won’t fix anything.

I hurt you, I hurt myself. I ruined everything.

So now, I’m giving you back my wedding ring. We’re already divorced, so I have no reason to keep it anymore. It’ll only keep reminding me of my mistakes. It might be selfish of me, but I really don’t want to keep it with me anymore. You can do whatever you want with it. Throw it away if you want.

But please remember,

I will always love you.

- Park Chanyeol

Your immediate reaction was disbelief. Slowly, it morphed into anger.

You didn’t even know why you were so angry. You should’ve been happy. Chanyeol has given up. He isn’t going to chase after you anymore.

But why does it still hurt?

You’re clenching the paper so hard your knuckles turn white. You turn on your heel and hail a taxi, heading back to the studio where you know he still is. He’s a workaholic, so he often doesn’t leave until late at night.

There are still crew members who are cleaning up the set, and you stomp right past them to barge into Chanyeol’s waiting room.

He looks at you with wide-eyes, but he didn’t look surprised. You seethe as you step in, slamming the door shut behind you. “What’s the meaning of this?”

He stares at the ring you hold up. “Did you read the letter?”

“Yes.” You spit before your face falls. “…Why?”

“I’m giving you the ring back.” He turns towards you, his face calm and neutral. “I’m breaking it off permanently. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Yes.

No.

“You’re so fucking selfish.” You feel tears sting your eyes. You don’t know what to say, he’s right. But why are you acting like this? “You’re always so fucking selfish. You said you love me, but you didn’t even stop me from leaving.”

Chanyeol stands up abruptly, the chair screeching behind him. His eyes are blazing with anger and you’re taken aback.

“Yes I am fucking selfish!” He roars, his form hovering above you. “You blame me for not stopping you? Then tell me. Tell me!” His voice shakes with intense emotion, his eyes glossy. “Would you have stayed even if I stopped you? Would you?”

His voice drops before he takes a step back, sucking in a shaky breath.

You go silent as you stare at each other.

Would you?

No, you probably wouldn’t. You were too fed up with him, and that’s why you chose to divorce him in the first place.

His hopeless expression pains you. He’s right.

You bite your lip and look down, unable to answer.

“Yeah.” He breathes. “Thought so.” He brushes past you and leaves the room.

The silence has never been so deafening.

You stare at the two wedding rings that the both of you once wore. You turn his ring over in your hand, admiring the detailed design that is engraved in it. Underneath is your wedding date and the initials of you and Chanyeol.

“Why do you hesitate?” You jump at the voice and glance up. Yixing takes a seat next to you in the café.

You had the entire night thinking about what happened, and what to do next. Should you film the kiss scene like Junmyeon wants? Or just leave it as it is since you already filmed basically everything?

Should you accept his ring and forget he ever existed? Or should you give it back and go back to him?

You used the entire night, but you still haven’t come up with a solution.

You give Yixing a tight smile. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you love him?” Yixing asks, glancing at the rings you hold in your hand. You turn to look at them too, the answer clear and yet ambiguous.

“I do…but do you think I can go back to him? Do you think it’ll work out between us?” You ask, desperate for answers. Or at least, some sort of advice. You considered finding Baekhyun, Sehun or Jongdae to talk, but they will most definitely tell you to go back to him without even a second thought.

You want a more neutral opinion.

“Honestly?” Yixing gives you a small smile. “How about I tell you a secret first.”

You cock your head at him. “What?”

“I like you.” He says softly, his eyes growing softer. “I love you.”

Dumbfounded and utterly speechless, you sit there gaping at Yixing. Did you hear him correctly? Is this really happening?

“That’s why, I want you to leave him. I want you to leave Chanyeol and be with me instead.” He takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. You want to pull away, but your strength suddenly depletes and you can’t seem to.

His smile is still there, and slowly it grows sad. “But I’m not blind. I know you don’t love me. You only love him. So I would say you should go back to him. You won’t find happiness by forcing yourself to leave. If you love him and he loves you, it’ll work out.”

Tears well up in your eyes and you finally squeeze his hand back. “You’re optimistic. A little bit of an idealist.”

“I like to think of the best rather than the worst.” He manages a grin. “Life is like that. I met you too late…you were never mine. So at least I wish you can be with the person you love.”

“Yixing…” You don’t know what to say. He’s too good for you. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

He understands you.

He accepts any decision you make.

“Thank you.” You smile sincerely at him, pulling him for a hug. He hugs you back warmly.

“It’ll work out.” He whispers into your ear comfortingly. “I promise.”

“I thought we finished filming?” Chanyeol asks Junmyeon as he gets on set, clearly confused.

“We’re filming the kiss scene.” Junmyeon replies much to Chanyeol’s surprise.

“What?” He asks in disbelief. “I thought she said she wouldn’t do that even if we pointed a gun at her.”

Junmyeon lets out a chuckle at his comment but doesn’t explain further. The crew gets everything ready; the lighting, the cameras, the mics.

You come out of your waiting room and get ready for the scene. You don’t meet Chanyeol’s gaze even though you can feel him watching you the entire time.

“Okay,” Junmyeon calls once everything is set. “Ready, set, action!”

Chanyeol starts his line. “I know I was a jerk. I know how much I hurt you. I’m sorry. I promise I will make it all up to you. Please. Come back to me.”

He didn’t know what to expect. Maybe for you to run away last minute and cancel everything. Or maybe just finish with a short kiss to get it over with.

But he didn’t expect a radiant smile from you, tears pooling in your eyes.

You practically run into his arms, wrapping yours around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

His body stiffens at the unexpectedness. He clearly wasn’t expecting this reaction from you.

But a second later he kisses you back, slow and passionate, pouring all his feelings into the kiss. He’s only kissed you once, but it still has the same effect. It still makes him feel like the happiest man alive.

You pull away slightly, but not completely as you’re still in a tight embrace. You give him another tear-filled smile. “No more façades.”

His eyes widen before glazing over with tears. He nods vigorously, pulling you back into his arms and literally sobbing.

“Cut!” You could vaguely hear Junmyeon yelling, but his quiet sobs drowns everything out.

“I love you,” he keeps whispering, his hold tight as if he never wants to let go. “I love you so, so much.”

“Please, can you tell us how you feel about the movie?” A reporter asks as a swarm of people follow you, cameras flashing everywhere. “The male lead is Park Chanyeol, right? How does it feel to be acting in a romance film with your ex-husband?”

“I’m sorry, please let me through.” You mumble as you push your way through the crowd, but you make little progress. There are so many people surrounding you, you can barely take a few steps forward.

“Please, just say a few words!” Another reporter shouts, practically sticking his mic into your face.

You finally give up and turn towards them. “I was surprised to be working with him. The director didn’t tell me beforehand who the male lead was, so I was extremely shocked. I really wanted to decline at first, but the director managed to persuade me into staying.”

“What about the kiss scene at the end?” Another reporter asks. “It looked very real! The both you looked like you still love each other. Could that be true?”

You give them a smile. “Who knows. I’m glad all of you watched my movie, I’m very grateful.” With that, you turn to keep walking as millions of questions still pummel you.

All of a sudden, the reporters and paparazzi around you decreases significantly as they rush off to someone else. You catch sight of the familiar tall form and you stop to watch.

“Mr. Park Chanyeol, can you tell us a little bit about your newest movie? It was an extreme hit right after it came out!”

“Yes, I’m very grateful to everyone who watched.” Chanyeol answers with a perfect smile.

“Can you tell us about the title? Why is this film called ‘Façade?’” A reporter asks and everyone goes momentarily silent to listen to his answer.

“I was the one who actually suggested this name to Kim Junmyeon, the director of the film.” Chanyeol smiles. “I chose this name because the female and male protagonist of the film continuously uses different façades to conceal their true feelings. They didn’t tell each other how they felt, and acted neutral about everything. Because of these façades, many misunderstandings arose to cause the tragedy of their relationship. But once these façades are removed, ones’ true feelings can be revealed. This brings honesty into the equation and ultimately increases trust on either side. This applies to many people in this world who often try to conceal their feelings in any relationship. That’s why I chose this title.”

He momentarily makes eye contact with you, and neither can look away. He smiles warmly, a real smile, and the corners of his eyes crinkles. “No more façades.”

It’s okay to cry, to hurt, to hate, to love. It’s okay to be honest.

No more façades. Everything will work out.

I promise.

Previous Chapter│Epilogue

Façade Mini Masterlist

A/N: Yoo so the story is coming to an end! The next chapter will be the last chappie~ Thanks for reading guys and I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think!

©kimjongdaely

Request and let’s love!

166 notes · View notes

lanyearn · 7 years

Text

Bolt of Zeus - Chapter 2

It was like I was living in a 24/7 nightmare.

I was used to having weird daydreams where I’d see something no one else did, but this was 3 light years away from that.

Everyone acted as if they had never heard of a Mrs. Dodds before in their lives. When I would ask them who the math teacher was, they answered with a ‘Mrs. Kerr, duh.’

In fact, there was a new chaperone I had never seen before I stepped back on that school bus later that day.

Mrs. ‘Kerr’ was this perky blonde woman with an actual bust the size of Texas. She had blue eyes that were very pale, brown roots in her hair, and ghostly white skin that made her look like one of those fake vampires from Twilight. She was rather thin for how tall she was - about 5 foot 9 inches - and favoured wearing blue sundresses with grey felt jackets and white leather knee-high heeled boots. She kinda reminded me of one of the display mannequins you see at stores, the ones that don’t come to life because of a plastic overlord. Except she actually had a face and actually moved.

And her voice was so annoyingly high, oh my gosh. She made me cringe every time she talked, it was like listening to a squeaky door that someone keeps swinging in and out just to see who snaps first.

But I have never seen her before in my life. She somehow knew everything about me though. What my favourite colours were (purple and blue), where my dorm was (section C, room 56), and even what my grade was in her class (76 percent exactly)

And worst of all, everyone knew her too. She was the ‘popular’ teacher, the one who ‘was in sync with the times’.

I hated her the moment I saw her.

The last month of school passed by with a painstakingly slow pace. I found myself growing more restless with each passing day. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit, my grades started dropping, I had a harder time sleeping so I constantly had black bags lurking under my eyes. I stopped caring so much about my hygiene, only taking showers when Grover would come over to my dorm and lock me in my bathroom because my hair was drenched in natural oils.

I had a harder time reading in general, because my dyslexia and my mood were interconnected together like two teams in one epic tug-of-war game.

I snapped at my teachers more frequently, calling them names I didn’t even know the meaning of. When my English teacher asked me for the thousandth time why I couldn’t spell, I told him he should just quit if he wasn’t going to actually aid a student who had a disability.

Mr. Nicoll, the english teacher, had turned and walked out of the room with a poker face. My mom got a phone call later that day regarding a teacher who had quit because I had told him to, and that I would not be invited back to Yancy the following year.

That was fine with me. I hated this place, with an exception of Grover and latin class. I missed my mom, I missed home. I missed real food - not school food, but actual homemade food.

The weather didn’t help my mood either. Thunderstorms shook the building every single night as if to say ‘You don’t get the luxury of sleep, you killed you math teacher.’

Only there was no way she could have been my math teacher. She couldn’t have been human at all. No one remembered her but me. I mentioned her every once and awhile, to try to trip them up, but all i got was strange looks.

I almost believed I had dreamt it all up.

Almost.

Those eyes, that hair, the way she had demanded me to tell her something…

“Where is it?”

Those three words rang in my head every single night since that day at the beginning of May. There was no way that I had daydreamed of something so terrifying.

She had asked me if I had ‘gotten away with it’. I thought she had meant that I couldn’t tell student to drown themselves, but that little voice at the back of my head whispered to me, “That’s not what she meant.”

The voice sounded like someone else had been talking to me, like another being was talking to me in the back of my mind.

As last-week exams were coming up, I found myself studying only for Latin. That thing Mr. Brunner had told me, about this being a matter of life and death… I had actually started believing that was true.

I found myself unable to sleep the night before my final exam - the one I’ll be taking for Latin. It was midnight, maybe closer to 1, when I found myself leafing through the pages of my school workbook, scribbles of illegible writing dotting the pages like crows in the daylight. I couldn’t sleep because of the loud cracks of thunder right outside my window, the chill of evil whispering right outside my window making me uneasy. It was past curfew, but why would I actually care about that? I was already being banned from returning to Yancy, no one would care if I was breaking the curfew rule.

I slapped the book off my bed, watching it smash into the wall several feet away from me. The words had started moving, like ants scattering away from a raindrop. They were spinning and twisting, dancing across my eyesight with a chaotic grace.

There was no way I was going to pass this test, much less ace it. I put my face in my hands.

“One more day.” I muttered to myself. “One more torturous day of exams, and then freedom.”

I got up off the bed and shuffled to the book. Gingerly, I plucked it off the floor and closed it softly.

I’d never asked for help from Brunner, ever. Hopefully he was still in his office. Maybe then I could explain why I was about to flunk his test.

I pulled on a blue hoodie over my dirty shirt, pulled some socks on my feet, and swapped my pajama pants for a pair of clean-ish jeans. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and made by way downstairs in the dark halls of the living quarters.

Mr. Brunner’s light was on in his office, which made me sigh with relief. I padded softly to the door to his office when I heard a voice.

“…worried about Percy, sir.” I stopped in my tracks. That sounded like Grover.

I’m not one to eavesdrop on anyone, but I dare you to not listen to your best friend when they’re talking to a teacher about you. Bonus points if it’s your favourite teacher.

I inched closer so I was pressed against the wall next to his door, which was cracked open slightly.

“…alone for the summer. Sir, he saw her, he saw a Kindly One. The fact it was a kindly one, the fact they know now-”

“And we’ll only make matters worse if we push too much.” Mr. Brunner’s voice was calm and collected. I heard Grover sniffle and I resisted the urge to knock down that door and demand to know what’s going on. Instead, I clutch my book tighter to my chest.

“But… but there might not be time. The solstice deadline, it’s so soon-”

“And if it comes down to it, we will resolve it without him.”

Solstice deadline? What was Grover talking about? And resolve what?

“Sir… he saw her!” Grover’s voice shook with what sounded like fear.

“His imagination.” Mr. Brunner chided softly. “The mist on the other should be enough to convince him that it was just his imagination.”

“He keeps pushing. He’s getting stronger… Sir, I can’t fail my duties again.” That last part was chocked full with tears. “You know what would happen to me if I fail again.”

“You haven’t failed. I should have seen her for what she really was.” Mr. Brunner sounded a little broken. “For now, we’ll just focus on keeping Percy alive until the fal-”

Thuwd.

My book slipped out of grasp and slammed to the floor. My jaw almost felt

The voices from the other side of the wall stopped talking. Instantly, I bent down, picked the book back up, and slowly backed away from the door. I made it a good 25 feet away when the door swung open. In panic, I pulled myself into the open hall closet and pull the door to a crack behind me.

Clop, clop, clop, clop.

The sound was like coconuts being tapped together. I held my breath and closed my eyes, knowing my body would fail my mind if I looked around.

I heard an animal pause right in front of the door, sniffing the air. I bit down so hard on my tongue that I tasted blood, but I kept my eyes and mouth shut.

The clopping sound continued past the closet, and a moment later, I heard Mr. Brunner sigh.

“My senses have been off since the winter solstice.”

“I could have sworn-”

“Me too…” Mr. Brunner cut Grover off. “Now, I believe you have a test to take later today?”

“Please don’t remind me.” my best friend groaned. “I’m never ready for those.”

I heard the light click off in Mr. Brunner’s office and the door lock.

I stood in that small closet for what seemed like forever. Finally I swung the door open and stepped out into the dark hallway.

I could barely breath right, my anxiety slowly taking over my mind.

‘Keep Percy alive.’

That’s what he said. That’s what my teacher said. Not pass, alive.

And what had Grover said… a Kindly One?

I had a lot to think about was I padded my way back to my tiny dorm room.

Rule number one: never take a Latin Exam with only 3 hours of sleep under your wing.

It sucks big time, and you can barely resist the urge to just collapse on the test and sleep there.

When I mean resist, I literally mean resist. It was a 3 hour long test with 23 pages of questions to answer.

23 double sided pages.

As much as I love this class, a 23 double sided test is overkill.

I finished late, as usual, but I wasn’t the only one in the room. At least half the class was still in the room when I sulked to the front to turn in my packet. On my way out, Mr. Brunner called out to me.

“Percy?”

I stopped in my tracks. Slowly turning from the doorframe to face Brunner, I worried that he had found out I had overheard his conversation with Grover.

That didn’t seem to be the issue though.

“Look, Percy… you leaving Yancy,” He frowned, as if he couldn’t find the right way to put this. “It’s for the best.”

My cheeks grew warm. “Right.”

“I mean, you just don’t… belong here. You’re not normal, you-”

He was whispering, but the people in the front row still heard him anyways. Nancy was smirking at me, mouthing, “You’re not noooormal.”

“I understand, no need to keep going.” I snapped at my teacher. Enraged, I turned on my heel and stalked out of the room and straight to my dorm to pack up to go home.

I heard Mr. Brunner call for me but I didn’t stop until I got to my bed. My about-to-be old bedroom was still messy from the uniforms I refused to pick up. I wasn’t going to miss this place. I hated Yancy with a passion. But that wouldn’t matter anymore.

I was going home, at least until Mom finds me my next school. Hopefully one without a demon who was my math teacher that no one remembers.

Except Grover and Mr. Brunner apparently. Kindly One, that’s what they called Mrs. Dodds.

As I climbed on the greyhound to head back home, I was shocked to see Grover sitting in the back.

“Hey G-man… I didn’t know you lived in in Manhattan.” I slump down next to him. He had a beanie atop his curls and he was fiddling with a Rubix Cube.

“I don’t, but it’s on my way home.” Grover looked up at me with his beady eyes. He looked rather sad, like he had been crying.

“Oh.”

We sat in silence for awhile. Every time someone coughed or someone would accidently bump the seat, Grover would look around panicked.

Finally, when we hit to freeway and someone sneezed (causing Grover to jump), I turned to him and said, “Looking for a Kindly One?”

Grover nearly broke down right then and there.

“W-what… What are you tal-”

“I overheard you and Mr. Brunner talking early this morning.” I frowned at him.

“How much did you hear?” He whispered softly, his eyes darting around.

“Not much,” I shrugged. “What’s the solstice deadline?”

“Look percy, just..” He dug into his pockets and pulled out a thick 2 by 3 inch card.

He handed it to me. The words were metallic block letters, so it was hard to read.

Grover Underwood

Keeper

Camp Half Blood, Long Island, NY

009-009-0090

“If any goes wrong, you should call me. This is my summer location…”

My heart fell.

“You want me to call your summer home?” I couldn’t believe it. My best friend for the entire school year and I never knew he was rich.

Grover opened his mouth, probably to shoot down the question judging by the look on his face, when the bus suddenly filled with black smoke.

I gagged on the smell - it was like the portable bathrooms after a major sporting event. The bus driver instructed us to evacuate the bus immediately while he fixed the engine.

Fine by me. Nothing like being a 12 year old kid standing on the side of Interstate 90, smack middle of nowhere with a best friend who think’s you’re going to die.

4 lanes of traffic dotted the land beside the bus. Cars honked in annoyance and trucks inched along the road at snail-like speeds. In a few of those cars were some of the kids from Yancy, on their way to the airport to go fly someone exotic for summer break.

Most of those kids had rich parents.

“I’m going to the Bahamas for a month”

“I’m going to stay with my grandma in Brazil.”

“I’m travelling Europe for a week.”

No one asked me what I was doing. Everyone knew I didn’t have money like they did. I had to work summer jobs to help mom buy for food. We were knee-deep in debt because my stepfather gambled all our money away in his stupid poker games.

Grover tapped his foot nervously next to me. I sighed and leaned against a tree. On the other side of the interstate was a fruit stand filled with oddly-ripe fruit (despite it being spring still)

When I mean filled, I mean this had enough to serve a family of 8 for 3 weeks. Apples the size of Grapefruits, Grapefruits the size of my head, Pineapples as big as my calf, grapes dangling from the edge of the table. There were tons of fruit but no one stopped by the stand.

Waiting patiently beside their stand for customers were three very old women. Two of them were holding huge balls of oddly shaded blue yarn - almost electric but not quite. In between them was the other women, who was knitting a scarf easily 10 feet long.

Grover paled in my peripheral vision. “Please tell me they aren’t looking at you.”

The three women were staring right at me with their beady-black eyes.

“Weird… Why would anyone want a scarf that long?” I turned to look at him. “Do you think if I asked they’d let me have it?”

“Percy we need to get back into the bus.”

“What, are you crazy? It reeks in there.” I wrinkled my nose at him.

“Percy please.”

“No! You can go back in, but I’m staying out here until that smell goes away.”

Grover’s chin trembled. He looked on the verge of crying. I sighed and finally agreed to get back on.

Right before I got back on the bus, I turned and looked back at the stand. The woman on the right pulled out a pair of glowing gold sheers and handed them to the woman in the middle.

I felt like a line in the back of my brain had snapped. The lady took the scissors and tugged the two free strings taunt. In one swift motion, she cut the strings.

I heard that snip across 4 lanes of thick, heavy traffic. A chill settled on my spine and I watched the women shimmer like a mirage before the stand then they had disappeared completely.

Suddenly the driver hooted out in triumph. “Guys, guess who just fixed your ride home!”

Cheers erupted in the crowd of happy bus-riders. I looked back at Grover, who was as pale as snow and standing in the middle of the bus-aisle. The expression on his face reminded me of a person about to have a stroke.

“Always 6th grade. It’s always sixth grade.”

“Uh Grover?”

He looked at me with a pained look in his eyes. He looked at me the way someone looks at someone who was about to die.

#sol tag #seagurl3 #fanfiction #son of love #pjo #hoo #pjo fanfiction #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians

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starless-night-fright · 4 years

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I need to vent here for a moment. I can’t find my journal I normally would be venting into, and dear lord I just need to put everything I’m feeling down because I’m not okay, right now.

She’s a long post, about everything I’ve been struggling with since the beginning of the year. It’s heavy, I don’t hold back.

I went into 2020 thinking, yes, this is it, I’m finally gonna have a good year. The last time I was constantly happy, and having a good time, I was 17. But, I started this year student teaching, I was going to walk in May and be the first in my family to get my diploma, I had everything planned.

What a fucking joke that was.

Student teaching was a mixed bag. It got cut short, and I ended up losing on valuable experience that I need. I struggle with enforcing consist discipline. Students don’t take me seriously. That was the biggest goal I was working on, right before everything shut down. We never went online, and I won’t see my students that I had again.

I’m not gonna lie, I had days that were really, really bad. Days where “It wouldn’t matter if you just drove your car into a semi and ended it” were thoughts that came up on my 30 minute drive home. I’d go and have days where it felt like I wouldn’t succeed in the field, and then come home and felt...I don’t know. I think I felt like people close to me didn’t care? That if I really did choose to just...crash my car spontaneously, that it wouldn’t matter in the long run to them? That they had someone they could replace me with, if that makes sense. Because if I reached out in my very indirect way of saying “I need help, and I need attention” I’d get brushed off, with an explanation of some kind. It’s okay, I’d think, everyone has priorities more important than me. And then I’d go to bed, get up, start the cycle again. Until I didn’t.

I got my Bachelor’s Degree, though I slept most of the day I would have walked. I got my teaching license, but somehow, I feel under qualified for it. Like, I don’t deserve this. Even my degree. I skated by in college, writing every paper the night before, and reading bits and pieces of every book - even content I was interested in. I never proofread a single paper, never edited one. Not even my capstone paper. I passed, though I don’t know what I got for my grade. It feels fake to me.

So, I graduated. I got a degree in a field that arguably has a demand for people, so why can’t I get a job? Why is it that I haven’t been able to land a single fucking interview? It isn’t because I just graduated, and it isn’t because I only had my actual legit license in my hands for only about a month at this point - I know plenty of people with the same training and the same everything I had getting jobs in late May and early June, so what is so wrong with my applications that I can’t get past the screening phase?

Maybe they know that I’m under qualified. Oh, she doesn’t have any of her host teachers? Her mentor teacher from student teaching? She has no other experience in education aside from 4 semesters in a classroom, and she has no experience with kids either.

I’ve been jobless since March, and have had no income since May. It’s my fault, I suppose, because I kept putting off finding a new job. My best friend’s mom would say that I’m making excuses, but it’s hard to find a job when I’m sitting there like “Oh, yeah, by the way, I have no idea if I’m going back to student teaching in person, or teaching online, and if I have to do that - and it’ll be very sudden - I won’t be able to work between 7am-3:20pm if we go online, and 6am-4:30pm if we go in person, and I won’t be able to work past 10, because my health is important.” I don’t know. I’m getting sick of explaining why I don’t do things and people saying “You’re making excuses.” I really, really fucking hate it when people say that.

I applied for unemployment, after getting people bugging me for a while about it, but it didn’t make a difference. They basically looked at what I submitted, and said “There’s no income here” and I sent in something saying, no, I had income, here’s my W-2, and that was a month ago, and still nothing back. When people were first pushing me to apply, I was going back and forth from saying that “I don’t know how to report my income because my hours were very inconsistent” to “I don’t currently need these benefits, because I still have money from income taxes and the stimulus check”. Which was true.

So I went back to donating plasma. My last donation was Friday, and something went wrong with it. The needle wasn’t in correctly, so they decided to give my blood back after one pull (if you haven’t done it before, it’ll go through about 4-5 cycles if you’re in the highest weight category, which I am). They slowly returned my blood back to me, but it started to sting when the saline started to go in. I don’t know if it was the blood or the saline, but something went into the tissue, not the vein. So, I’ve had a nice bruise on the inside of my arm that prevents me from going and getting more money. I haven’t touched my donation money, since it’ll be rent in a worst case scenario where I don’t have a job by September 1st. I want a teaching job, or a subbing position in the district I’m in, but if the subbing position also gets overlooked, I don’t know what I’m going to do, emotionally.

It’s been almost a week since my last donation, and maybe I’ll be able to go in a day or two? The bruise is fading, but I don’t know.

I’m lonely, I’m stressed, I’m anxious. I want to hang out with people, but I look at the list of people I know and I’m like...who even cares, right now? I’m getting frustrated with people getting annoyed at the fact that nothing is going okay right now, and me expressing those feelings is annoying, and I’m getting frustrated with people just saying “oof” when I express that something isn’t okay. It isn’t even down to who cares, either, it’s also looking at who has the energy to deal with me?

The last week has been pretty shitty, in all honesty. At first, it was the stress of everything leading up to plasma donation going wrong. Then it turned into “People only care about people that they deem as useful, and it seems like my usefulness has run out.” Because it has. I’m just burdensome to people at this point.

So, then I sit there. I want to talk to people, I want to just sit and watch stuff and drink with friends. But I don’t want people saying all the things i enjoy are stupid, and I don’t want to be brushed off. I don’t even want advice for everything because what advice can people even offer me right now? I want human company. But people have lives that don’t involve me - which is okay - and those lives and relationships take precedence over me. Which is okay. To most people - if not every person I’m associated with - I’m a second thought, at best. Everyone has someone else that they care about more, or some other issue that they have more thought processes to deal with. I’m not mad, or upset by it. I don’t expect people to put their lives and their problems on hold to help me get stabilized. Because, in all honesty? Right now, when nothing is okay right now? I don’t think I could emotionally sustain anyone either.

So, I don’t want to be burdensome. So, I sit alone, and try to drown out everything by watching dumb videos on YouTube or starting to hyperfocus on something. It sometimes works. Other times, I just sit there and feel the need to just break something, to let out the tension, and I have a relapse. I’ve had two, this week. It doesn’t matter what it is, in all honesty. I’ve done dishes, while in this state, and I broke a glass. It just...it felt like the glass was the heaviest thing I could hold, and I just didn’t have the energy to keep holding it anymore, and I dropped it. I still haven’t found all the pieces to the cup. Though, it doesn’t matter, does it?

I did start therapy, recently. My first appointment was a week ago, and I won’t have another one for two weeks. In this appointment, I discussed with the therapist about how I thought I had undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I had filled out a questionnaire a few weeks prior, and he had my answers from then about those three things, among a few other things. I explained that at times when I feel like I’m dealing with anxiety attacks I struggle to breath - I have to pause, take a deep breath with my diaphragm and fully expand my lungs, cause it feels like my breath is too shallow in varying circumstances, but it’s been worse recently.

He asked about study habits. How is reading? I have a hard time sitting down, and focusing to read, but when I find something I’m engaged it, I don’t put it down. Is that webcomic 90-144 chapters? I. Won’t. Stop. I can’t. So, he asks about deadlines. How close to a deadline do i complete tasks? Literally, the last minute. Does that pressure help you work? If I don’t have a deadline, I don’t finish anything. Fun fact! I’m moving in a week, and I made a list of everything my roommate and I need to do. I did this a month ago, and this was supposed to be done before we went on a roadtrip in the beginning of July. Nothing has been checked off. He asked how I do progression. If I work on a paper, I’ll clean my workspace, then I’ll go get snacks to munch on for the 5-10 hours I’ll be at my computer. Sometimes, cleaning my workspace causes my to clean my room. After all this he said “I think there is some ADHD at play here.” And he explained that, typically in women, ADHD is undiagnosed, because it’s the high energy that people look at, not necessarily the inattentiveness. Young boys are diagnosed more often because they have that high energy people look for - and they get misdiagnosed, sometimes. So, that tells me that, for 23 years of my life, and for 17 years of education, I had ADHD. Which makes a difference.

Because, then, I start thinking about the past - this has been a thing for the last few days, in particular. And I start to get...frustrated? Angry? Because, I’m sitting there thinking that the signs were there. When I was in the 5th grade, I just stopped doing my homework. Or rather, I never did it to begin with. It was a whole thing that I don’t want to get into right now, but my teacher did get my parents involved. And then, again, in high school. I had the same English teacher for 3 years, and she allowed me to go into the AP Lit and Lang courses. This was the point that I really struggled with reading. I loved reading up until that point. It was my escape. And she had me the year before, she knew I was an avid reader at that point. But when I started slipping and when it was obvious I wasn’t reading, she never really said anything. I don’t think she contacted my parents, and it never came up in parent teacher conferences - I went to all of them because I liked being praised by my teachers, and they always did. I don’t really blame a lot of my other teachers, though. I’m weird in the sense that lectures and direct instruction is a really good method for me to learn. I sit there, copy the notes, and hoard said notebooks until I need the information. I haven’t take Algebra since I was 17, but dammit, I still have my notes from College Algebra that I took in high school.

It’s that stigma that only boys have ADHD. I know it is, and it’s not like I was in a district that was socially advanced, if that makes sense. We didn’t even have sex ed. I’m not in the south, either, I’m in Colorado. But, like, I’m kinda bitter? I’m pretty average, as a student, even with the ADHD. I was ranked dead middle in my high school graduating class with a 3.4 GPA. I might have gotten it up to a 3.5, but I don’t remember. And then College happened. All the support fell away, I was independent. I ended my first semester with a 1.1 GPA. It fucking hurt. I came home for Christmas and everyone was telling me to change my major - because obviously if I ended my first semester that badly, it meant I wasn’t interested in it. It didn’t matter that I only had two classes in my major, and one really dealing with what I wanted to study. I got my shit together, and bumped my GPA back up to a 2.1 the next semester.

But, then, it just kinda...I don’t know. Like I dipped low, I skyrocketed, and then I steadily went down again, until I flatlined. Like I said, I skated by in college. I feel like I didn’t put in more effort. Maybe I feel robbed? Like, if I knew I had ADHD, and if I had medication to help me focus a bit, that maybe things would have gone differently? I would have been more at the top of my class in high school, and maybe I would have been able to graduate college with at least a 3.0 gpa and I would have gotten honors and maybe I would be able to get a fucking job right now in the field that I got a degree in? How is it that I’m so bad at this, that I can’t even get a job in a field that is always struggling with getting people?

I don’t know. I’m bitter. I’m angry. I’ve been writing this for an hour. I’m still upset, I suppose, but now I’m just tired, and my hand is cramping up.

That’s another thing that I’ve noticed, over the last few months. I want to create things. I draw, I write and I’ve been designing a video game. I want to release it, but I just...I feel like people don’t care about it. The things I create. I’m not good, I’m not bad. I’m pretty damn average. So it doesn’t stand out. And I feel like - mostly with writing and the game design - that if people aren’t going to enjoy it, then what’s the point in putting in the time and energy to actually develop these things. Like you can say that it’s creating it for me, but I can think about it in my head. I can daydream these things. Giving it corporeal form so I can enjoy these things is pointless. And it’s not like I haven’t tried. I’ll show people are that I’m proud of and get lukewarm responses, or even “It’s creepy” (dear fucking Jesus am i sick of people saying what I create is creepy). Or, I’ll send people a link to the download of the demo of my game and I have gotten no responses. Like, several people have said “Yeah, I’ll play it” and then never do. It’s like, 30 minutes, at most. I’ve timed it, even with killing every single spawn I can. It only takes about 30 minutes.

Dear God, this doesn’t even get into the problems of the world oh my Fucking God.

I feel better after ranting like this. I’m less upset. I’m tired. Though, in the end, nobody really cares, do they?

#tw: mental health #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: depression #tw: self harm

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