#listen. listen. she got fucked up after fusion
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some post fusion azures
#astral chain#platinum games#astral chain spoilers#listen. listen. she got fucked up after fusion#i think having legion cells in her bloodstream would uh. have some permanent effects !#it was worse at first but then after a while it fades#because. i don't think she would be willing to fuse again after almost killing akira#the gameplay mechanic lies. canon lies. i make the rules around here#astral chain protagonist#azure#art tag
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Hey, I get I've been raving about Astarion a lot but, like, are there ACTUALLY people out here who hate Gale and are calling him an incel? Is this a thing? Thank God I apparently curate well bc holy fucking shit I would be having heart palpitations DAILY out of SHEER ANGER.
So, like, we're always going to make fun of our faves and whatnot bc lbr "bro, you were banging Mystra and fucked up that bad?" THOUGH TO BE FAIR, if you're a wizard it isn't that hard to bang Mystra. It's kind of her thing. P sure her banging Elminster as many times as she has is the main reason he's still kicking and out being the Faerûnian Gandalf that he is in-game. Mystra's bodycount aside (especially since that has ZERO bearing on ANYTHING least of all her portfolio and purpose), like, Gale is a very intelligent man. He is also what we would consider as an objectively good person. Save the kids, help the tieflings, be kind and compassionate to those the average "good" aligned folks would consider "worthy" and yeah. He is literally the Alistair Theirin of BG3 if you Fusion Danced him together with Awakening Anders.
That being said, he is also very deeply flawed in that he KNOWS he is brilliant and in that brilliance, knowing his own talent, he thinks he knows better than even his own goddess BUT-! But, but, but, he is mortal, is young enough and in an age to not be able to wrack up the accomplishments of, say, Elminster whom he clearly knows on a fairly personal level so, like anyone who knows they are capable of doing great things, he feels INFERIOR bc he hasn't, in his mind, PROVEN that he is as great as he knows he is. And that's the hubris of mortality.
Objectively, LOGICALLY, he knows that he's more than proven himself capable. Mystra wouldn't have started a relationship with him otherwise, and she never asked him to prove himself. It was his own desperation to prove that he was worthy of her and thinking he knew EVERYTHING that lead to his terrible situation. Is he very clinical and logical about it? Yes. Is he squirrelly about it in the beginning? Very much, yes. Hell, I would be. No one wants to be friends with a literal ticking time bomb and the man is VERY lonely. Hell, that's the name of the game baybee! Baldur's Gate 3: These Bitches Need a Hug; YES EVEN LAE'ZEL, I WILL FIGHT Y'ALL!
Back to Gale, your friendship with him is something he very much treasures and when he starts all his finger wiggling and magic talk he's like any nerd sharing the thing he is most passionate about. He is also the first to admit he fucked up. HOWEVER, that does not (imo) warrant him needing to sacrifice himself all for Mystra's forgiveness, and even Elminster isn't on board with that. And, like, when he talks about Mystra it's never in an accusatory manner towards her. He clearly still loves her, likely always will, but that never negates his love for the PC who chooses to romance him. He is also very much prone to falling into the same pitfall of hubris that got him before and very clearly needs guidance that, yes, Mystra clearly did neglect in giving him. But he never outright blames her, at least he's not in my playthroughs thus far even after having spoken with her in the temple. He's just a sad, lonely nerd and that does not automatically make him an incel; y'all just don't know how to read, listen, or understand nuance. Apparently.
tl;dr
Gale deserves as much love as Astarion but bc he isn't evil "babygirl" material that's "fixable" he's just called an incel when he can be a very genuine friend, but what are those nowadays I guess?
#bg3#gale of waterdeep#this was a rant#unhinged and freeflowing#bc I'm mad lol#it's like Gale is suffering the same shit as Lae'zel#bitches hate a brusque and blunt woman who won't immediately like them#and people also hate men who aren't uwu enough for them#which is another problem altogether but I digress#though honestly Gale and Shadowheart seem to have more similar points for comparison#on the just absolutely random hatred they get#granted Shadowheart and Lae'zel get it more bc how dare the tiddies not like me IMMEDIATELY#anyway these are all my weird children#my freakish found family#and I love them all very much
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Day 11-12 | Exhaustion
Takes place in my Destiny/Naruto fusion au. @hidden-scarlet-whispers more Osiris being a badass stuff for you plus, the actual canon-in-my-verse way Sival was exposed. @/sylenth-l is 100% responsible for me falling in love with Colovance.
Tw: implications of sa, mind control
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Lord Colovance was tired. He was so fucking tired. Not physically. He knew it wasn’t physically. He watched his body sleep, he watched it lounge around. He knew it was mental. Watching himself do things, say things, and not being able to control any of it. A helpless slave in his own fucking body. It was all Lord Sival’s fault. Colovance wasn’t sure how it was that Sival was able to use mind control, but it worked pretty damn well.
Sival fucking used him to frame Osiris for a crime he didn’t commit and get him exiled from the city. And all the while, the real Colovance thrashed in the prison of his mind, screaming for someone, anyone to hear him. To help Osiris. To help him. No one did.
To his credit (as much as Colovance hated giving that bastard Sival and credit) he knew how to manipulate. He made all the Iron Lords think that Lord Colovance was still in control. Sival had turned them against Osiris.
But now…now Sival had grander ambitions. He had set his eyes (and mind control powers) on The Speaker. If Sival had The Speaker in his pocket, under his control, he would gain so much power that Colovance wasn’t sure anyone would be able to stop him until it was too late.
When the control had first been placed on him, Colovance had tried too hard to fight it. It, of course, didn’t work. He was too weak. He knew Sival tried to do it on Osiris, but couldn’t. That was why Sival had wanted Osiris gone. Because he could control him.
Sival liked being in control. He liked it almost as much as he loved torturing people. He liked beating Colovance. His only personal pet that could do nothing but what he says. Of everything Sival had done, he allowed Colovance to keep control over some of his senses. Touch, Sound, Taste, Sight. His mouth was not his, his eyes couldn’t move by his orders.
Colovance wished he had been stripped of all sense. Maybe that would have been better than being aware, being able to feel, as Sival carved him open and…well he had to do something when he got hard. He liked it better when Colovance bled red and white.
It made Colovance so sick.
It had been the night before Sival was to set his plan into motion. He heard something behind him. His body turned, his eyes shifting to find the source of the noise. Osiris stood in the doorway of Colovance’s bedroom with a look of determination on his face and a strange paper tag in his hand.
Then he shot forward and slammed Colovance onto the floor before he pressed the tag against his head.
There was a blinding light and Colovance cried out. He cried out! Him! Not the mind controlled him, the real him! Colovance shot up, eyes wide as his body listened to what he wanted. He flexed his fingers and they flexed! Colovance looked up at Osiris, eyes stinging with tears.
”How did you know?” he croaked, voice almost breaking.
”Your mind was buzzing. It never buzzed before,” Osiris explained, looking rather proud of himself.
Colovance let out a sob, burying his face in his hands and breaking down. After so many decades, he was in control. Not Sival, him.
”Thank you, Osiris,” sobbed Colovance, “Thank you,”
”Don’t thank me, thank Makato. She made this tag”-Colovance didn’t know who Makato was-“You think you can fight?” asked Osiris and Colovance looked up, tear stained face coated in confusion, “Sival is planning to attack The Speaker and put him under his control, no? So let’s stop him,”
Osiris held out a hand and Colovance took it.
”Let’s kick that fucking bastard’s ass,” said Colovance
Colovance knocked on The Speaker’s door, Osiris hidden at his side.
“Enter,” called The Speaker and the duo stepped inside.
Sival was already there, drinking tea with The Speaker, but looked confused when he spotted Colovance.
”Colovance, I thought I said I would be doing this alone,” snapped Sival
Colovance cocked his head and walked over to Sival, stopping just short of the man, who glowered up at him in rage.
”You did say that,” said Colovance, before he hit Sival with a void coated hand.
Sival was sent slamming into the ground and The Speaker shot up.
“Lord Colovance, what are you doing?” cried The Speaker
”Getting revenge,” snarled Colovance, “For the past few decades of pain he caused me,”
The Speaker moved to grab him, but Osiris’ hand shot out and he gripped The Speaker’s arm, firmly, tossing off the void as he did.
”Osiris?” asked The Speaker, confusion on his face
”Lord Colovance has been trapped in his own mind for decades because of what Sival did. Let him get his vengeance. I know he will not go too far,”
”What do you mean, trapped?” asked The Speaker
”You know I speak the truth,”
”I-I do,” The Speaker said, glancing out the window towards The Traveler, glowing softly in the sky.
”He was going to do the same to you,” said Osiris, letting go of The Speaker’s arm.
The Speaker backed up, away from Sival.
”He’s fucking lying,” snarled Sival, “Don’t trust anything that mad warlock says!”
”I trust the Traveler. And it trusts Osiris,” said The Speaker, “Try not to go too far, Lord Colovance,”
Colovance took that as permission and lunged, fist coated in void, and smashed it repeatedly against Sival’s body, hot tears of rage streaking down his face. He didn’t stop until Sival was almost dead.
He fell back against his heels and buried his face in his blood coated hands and sobbed. His shoulders shook and his sobs were muffled only by his hands.
”I will contact the other Iron Lords,” he heard The Speaker say.
A hand rested on his shoulder, far too small to be Osiris’ and he looked up. A child of maybe 13 stood there, hunter judging by her cape. Her fox ears twitched slightly as she gently rubbed his back.
”It’s okay now, Uncle Colovance,” she said, “He can’t ever touch you again. If he tried, I’ll eat his face,”
She bared her teeth, revealing sharp teeth reminiscent of canines.
”I’m sorry, who are you?” he asked, softly, voice still shaky with tears.
”I’m Makato Uzumaki, the one who made the tag that freed you,” she said, cheerfully
”Thank you, Makato,” whispered Colovance, “For giving me back my freedom,”
”Anytime!” she said just as the door flew open.
”Speaker!” came the voice of Lord Timur, “What’s the emergency!”
Colovance glanced towards the door and spotted Lord Timur and Lord Felwinter quickly making their way inside.
Timur glowered at Osiris and readyed his fists. The Speaker placed a hand on top of them.
”Osiris is not the enemy here, Lord Sival is…or was. I think he’s dead right now,” said The Speaker.
Timur and Felwinter glanced over as Lord Sival’s motionless and bloodied form, to his ghost, hanging in suspended animation, a long paper tag slapped over its face. Colovance recognized some of the lettering as Japanese Kanji.
“Colovance, are you alright?” Timur asked, pulling Colovance’s attention away from the ghost and towards his former mentor.
”I-maybe?” he said.
”You’re crying?” asked Timur, crouching down in front of Colovance and gently brushing his fingers against Colovance’s face.
Colovance felt his eyes sting again and then he threw himself into Timur, body shaking and soft sobs escaping his lips.
”Shhh,” whispered Timur, holding him tight, “It’s okay,”
Timur glanced around the room, hoping someone would fill him in.
Makato did.
”He was under the effects of mind control,” she said, “We undid it, but he spent many many many years under its effects. Bad juju. He was aware but not in control. I know what that feels like,”
Timur’s eyes widened.
”Lord Sival did this, didn’t he,” said Lord Felwinter, speaking for the first time since he entered The Speaker’s office.
”Yes,” stuttered Colovance, “He fr-framed Osiris, got him exiled and then he-“
Colovance couldn’t continue, memories of the…nights they shared together.
”If you were under Sival’s control for years, does that mean you never consented to a relationship with him?” whispered Timur and all Colovance could do was nod, “Oh light, Colovance, I am so sorry,”
”You didn’t know,” whispered Colovance
”But I should have, we all should have,” whispered Timur
”I will discuss the terms of Sival’s punishments with the council in the morning as well as the lifting of Osiris’ exile,” said The Speaker, “For now, Lord Timur, you should probably take Lord Colovance to his room to rest. He looks exhausted,”
Timur nodded and gently guided Colovance to stand, letting the man lean against him as he led him out of the Speaker’s office.
”Osiris,” Felwinter started, glancing over at his student.
”I should be mad at you,” said Osiris, bluntly, “But it’s hard to be mad when I fell for his manipulation too. I’m trying to not be so much of a hypocrite,”
”You, trying not to be a hypocrite, my Osiris, how you have changed,” said Felwinter, tone light
”Blame Makato, she’s been too much of a good influence on me,” said Osiris
”Then, I thank you, Makato,” said Felwinter
”I even got him to learn how to cook! We eat every day! I make sure of it,” said Makato, grinning before her face fell slightly, “Will Uncle Colovance be okay?”
An uneasy silence filled the room.
”I hope so,” said The Speaker.
#whumpuary2024#mind control#lord colovance#lord felwinter#the speaker#osiris#makato uzumaki (oc)#sa mention#lord timur
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For: @batteredcourier
Bonus of the "Steak knife" series.
Shape-shifting shit that mostly me and courier will understand, us rn 🤝👫
Songs I listened to while writing this: trash - Oscar lang, so long - fleece, heaven is a night drive - suave punk,
Warnings: kissing, a little bit suggestive, mention of weed usage, weird shape-shifting bs (tell me If I missed any.)
"What? What do you mean you can- oh shit."
Lavina had brushed my hair back with a smile, giving me kisses all over my face with a proud look in her eyes.
"Such a masterpiece you are A ghrá." My face brightens in color.
Leaning downward Lavina would capture my lips into a deep kiss, purely made up of love and adoration for my very being.
She pulls away, leaving me to chase her lips.
She chuckles and smooths my hair over and grabbing my face again with a wide smile, "You do the littlest things and my heart bursts out of my chest."
She'd admit, leaning down to put me in a passionate kiss.
Holding the back of my head and running her fingers through my hair she smiles, placing kisses all over my face down to my neck.
"Lavina-" I would nervously call, and she would look up towards me, her eyes widening.
'Not now, why now of all times?'
Blinking through new eyes I would curse.
'Fuck. FUCK! This wasn't supposed to happen, NOT like this. FUCK.'
"Sal, what wasn't supposed to happen?" Lavina would ask, looking around the room for me.
"Uh. So, uhm." I would mumble.
"Where the feck did you go?-" I would bring up Lavinas hands to her (our) Face, a nervous chuckle escaping me (us).
Placing my (our) hands over the bed I (we) clear my (our) throat, "So, uh. I can, kind of FUSE WITH THE ONES I LOVE? Not like family, like lovers and shit but its MEANT TO HAPPEN AFTER MARRIAGE."
'Adorable, they're nervous.'
"What? What do you mean you can- oh shit." She would lead us to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and cursing.
Instead of her normal appearance she had red eyes, two piercings on the lower lip, one above her eyebrow and ear gauges.
She pokes her tongue out, and sighs in relief when she realizes her own piercing was still in.
Besides that, nothing had changed.
"God I look Fecking hot like this." She would look over our appearance again while messing with the piercings.
Our face would heat up, I slap her hand away with her other hand and let out a hiss, "This isn't the time to admire how we look right now. We have to tell Bob."
Mentally I was freaking out, scenarios of what bad could happen over me 'fusing' (to simplify.) with Lavina.
We inhale.
'What if Bob leaves the relationship?'
Lavina would open the bathroom door and exit.
'What if, what if Lavina starts to hate me for doing this without asking?'
Taking a deep breath in she sighs, "I'm too high for this." She'd mutter under her breath.
'What if-'
Lavina taps the side of her head, bringing me back to her.
"Hey, fusion shit is wild, but I wouldn't leave you over it dude. Plus, while we're like this you're literally speaking to me like..."
She searches for the word.
"Like mind reading! Yeah, I'm sticking with that." I let out a sigh.
She would walk us to Bob, steady cooking in the kitchen.
He would hum a light tune with a smile while cooking a large meal, likely for the date night we had all planned.
Lavina and I took a moment to admire him from the hallway, biting our nail.
'I can't believe I got this lucky with such spectacular people.'
After that thought, her inner dialog became very suggestive.
Forcing us to walk over to Bob before she would act on those thoughts, I call for him.
"Bob!" He would stop humming and acknowledged me by calling out my own name, "Yes Sal?"
We walk over and sit at the Island, waving to Bob from said area Lavina would raise an eyebrow at him swaying his hips to the beat he'd made up in his head.
Bob looks to us, raising a brow.
"When did you get piercings like Sal? Should I be jealous?" He chuckles to himself and leans against the counter, the immaculate smelling food cooking on the stove.
Lavina laughs, "You should be. Maybe they like me more?" Bob raises a brow and looks over Lavina.
I chime from her body, "No, correction. I love you both equally." Bob's eyebrows would raise and he searches her eyes.
Something in his mind would piece together, "SAL???" I sigh, and Lavina laughs.
Wiping away a fake tear she sighs, "took you long enough big guy." I would groan and flick Lavinas ear, she hisses.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR???" This time it was me who laughed.
Bob would stare at us in disbelief, a look of shock flashing over his face.
"Back on topic, I accidentally fused with Lavina." I would look at the Island, avoiding Bob's gaze.
Bob looked ready to throw up, cry and faint at the same time.
"What- How???" Lavina shrugs, "Sal got nervous, likely a part of why it happened. But we need your help." Bob would look at us and put his hands on top of his head.
Lavina would put her hand on our chin, and hum.
Bob would sigh, "Maybe you need an outside force? What were y'all doin' when Sal got nervous?"
She would smile, a proud look crossing her face, "WE were kissing on the bed. Like lovers do." Bob would think further on it, an idea popping into his head.
He hadn't told us a thing before doing it, walking over and grabbing our face.
Leaning down he gives us a deep kiss, smoothing over our hair.
Deepening the kiss, we gasp.
When I had opened my eyes, I was on Lavinas lap, and Bob was holding my hands with a smile.
Lavina would grab my hips and place her head on my shoulder, "He actually did something smart for once." She murmured near my ear.
I would laugh, leaving Bob out of the loop.
"What? What'd the tea lover say?" He would look between us with furrowed eyebrows.
Lavina would laugh as well, filled with mirth and excitement.
Bob would glare at the two of us, "What??? WHAT IS IT???"
Done once more! Writers brick has hit me in the head, I have so many ideas but I don't know how to write them out and it fucking suckssssssssss
I hope you enjoyed this one! I think I did a good job with it, had no idea how to work through it yesterday but I'm glad I figured out how to!
#bob velseb#bob velseb x reader#bob velseb x self insert#mutuals#bob velsen#polycule#steak knife series#for my mutuals#oc x oc#oc x oc x canon#oc x canon#bob velseb x oc
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Yubel for the ask game?
YOOOOOB
First impression: *looking up Jaden's yugipedia page two years ago* "I'm sorry what the hell is this about him fusing with a Duel Monster??? HELLO?? HI????"
Impression now: YUBEEEL i like them a lot, moreso now that I did right after finishing GX...season 3 of gx is kind of a mess in a lot of ways but it's not really their fault. I'm not rly someone who enjoys "soul fusion with your soulmate" much as concept personally and I'm not terribly big on what s3 had to do to jaden's character to make that endgame possible, so that's not really my favorite thing surrounding Yubel, but theyre such a genuinely interesting and engaging character and yugioh villain. Also lbr her design fucking kicks ass. I wish she got to be a little sillier, a little goofier!! The GX character birthright!!!
Favorite moment: Yubel!Jesse vs. Zane duel, full stop. Still genuinely one of the greatest duels I have seen in yugioh thus far. tfw GX had a color and lighting budget for like 3 episodes and it slapped like absolute hell.
Idea for a story: im very fond of my College AU Yubel, very love the idea of them having to write an essay that Jaden slacked on and then they actually get really into it. Compiling knowledge of the Baroque period they have zero use for but find interesting nonetheless...
Unpopular opinion: I've talked about it a couple times before but I don't really go to jaden/yubel as a romantic ship; I personally enjoy it much more as a platonic soulmates read (like. idk. if they didnt have the element of "yubel has been looking out for jaden Since He Was a Little Kid" i'd be more into it i think. just not really my favorite, that point. and again just not big on soulfusion. but im aro dont listen to me fjdgsg)
Favorite relationship: that being said i Do really like the potential of jaden and yubel's dynamic and it's unfortunate s4 Is so short so you only really get a small glimpse of it. they can play off each other really well and there IS so much love there! i wanna see things play with their little individual habits driving each other insane. Yubels gonna reach into jay's jacket pocket and get a handful of crumbs and I think he's gonna be a little "damn bitch you live like this?" THATS my favorite jaden n yoob dynamic.
Favorite headcanon: I really love transfem Any Pronouns yubel. Also I know in my heart of hearts they'd be a complete metalhead, but like, also for music from two thousand years ago. Yubel is a very Iron Maiden T-Shirt coded character to me I will not be elaborating.
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Oddmongus, an Oddity fanfic by me
It's a Saturday afternoon at Mcdonalds. Leo, Meryl, Travis, Zack and Floyd decide to play Among Us.
Meryl sets up a lobby. It takes 30 minutes for everyone to connect because the Mcdonalds wifi is shitty.
Simon is currently in the washroom tampering with the router (its old as fuck)
after an hour, a lobby finally starts.
Leo throws his fries at Floyd because he took red. Floyd switches to yellow to avoid being stabbed by a plastic butter knife.
With everyone satisfied, the game starts. Simon finds a tape hidden within the router. It's a map to where all the missing parts of that Travis jpeg are.
Once the game is done, Simon bursts out of the washroom. He's in his Captain Underpants underwear.
"GUYS I FOUND A MAP!" He says, holding the beat-up wifi router in his hands. "To where?" Meryl asks.
"The New World!" Simon replies enthusiastically.
"The New WHAT?" Leo asks.
"Yep, my dear friend! We're going to set sail to find the Travis Piece!"
Everyone heads out of the Mcdonalds to find the missing parts of the Travis Jpeg.
Floyd calls Zack on Whatsapp:
"GET YOUR BROTHER AND GET YER ASSES TO MY HOUSE NOW!!!!"
Travis and Zack head to his house. Meryl and Leo are there.
"Where's Floyd?" Travis asks.
"He's packing his school supplies, he says they'll 'help' on the way." Leo says.
Floyd come out of the closet. "All ready!" He says. "Now we wait for Simon!"
Simon is tied up in Floyd's basement. Floyd wants the completed Travis jpeg all to himself. Simon is forced to listen to Stay by Oingo Boingo while a plush of Zero from Mega Man stares at him.
"I guess he's not coming!" Floyd says.
"Doesn't he have the map?" Meryl asks.
"He 'gave' it to me, now lets go without him, he told me he doesn't feel well after sitting on a mcdonalds toliet for too long."
The group heads off to scour the country for the missing Jpeg pieces. Simon is still in the basement, listening to Oingo Boingo.
At the Desert of ODD!!, they find a green amogus holding a travis jpeg part.
"Give that back!" Travis says.
"Nuh uh!" The amogus relplies.
Meryl grabs the amogus and SMASHES it to SMITHEREENS
"EEYIKES! the ODD piece that will help us TRAV-erse this desert IS not AMONG US! WHATSAPP with this place!"
"The next piece is in the tower of pizza, which is guarded by my cousin the white amogus!"
The team arrive at the tower. Pibby steals the amogus's piece. They chase after her.
Zack throws the amogus corpse at her and she drops the piece.
"You dirty BRATS!" Pibby says. "ok?" they all say in sync.
"The next piece is at zumbo sauce's garden!" Pibby says.
"ok" Travis replies.
At the garden, they defeat Zumbo Sauce in a Yugioh battle and he got sent to the shadow realm.
With all 7 Travis Jpeg parts, Travis turns into WHATSAPP TRAVIS AND DEFEATS GOD IN A FUCKING BRAWL AMSHCJVVCJCJ
But Floyd takes a piece away and EATS IT
"man wtf?" Leo says
"I WAS HUNGRY WTF WAS I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Floyd replies.
Travis plumets to the ground, and lands on Mt. Ebott and finds Simon doing fortnite dances.
"Floyd can't be trusted, Travis." Simon says. "He wants all the power for himself. He has a god complex or somethin."
They get out of the cave and face Floyd who is enhanced because of the jpeg he ate.
"Dumbass you can't hurt me!!" He says.
Travis and Simon do a dbz fusion dance and merge. They fly up to Floyd who is keeping Meryl, Zack and Leo hostage.
"Let them go!" Travimon says. "Nuh uh you cant make me youre not mo mom!" Floyd says.
"Then I'm telling on you!" Travimon says.
"Wait, anything but that!" Floyd says.
Floyd explodes
The End! :3
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Rewatching Ninjago
(With no context other than the episode)
Hands of Time episode 9-10
This is actually so traumatizing. Can you imagine being Kai and Nya. Wus life on the line as well as the entire world
Kai has such a strong sense of justice
omfg i cant imagine how pained Kai and Nyas parents must feel. Seeing their kids being forced to retrieve a time blade and their old dear friend Wu aging to death
And they cant do anything about it
Ray: We hid the timeblade in a place that fire and water coexist. The boiling sea.
Holy shit thats cool
Jay: Its just a strategic retreat!
Cole: ‘Strategic retreat’ is just a fancy way of saying giving up 🙄
HFNSJNFND i love Coles sass
Zane: Wait! I cant retreat, im getting a signal.
Jay: Oh yeah? Does it sound anything like this?! ‘MOVE YOUR ASS ZANE!!!!’
Awwww Zane wants to save Cyrus borg
No but fr theyre right, theres too many vermillion warriors for Zane to handle
id like to take this moment in time to remind everyone that when Zane tried to sacrifice himself, Jay tried to run in and stop him while everyone watched in horror. Now at this exact moment, Jay is the first to volunteer in joining Zane to saving Cyrus borg
Technoshipping has been looking especially likable lately 👀
Kai: Gotta give credit to whoever named it the ‘Boiling Sea’ for accuracy…
BFJDNGJFN
The time brothers can be so stupid sometimes
FUSION DRAGON FUSION DRAGON
Can we talk about how Nya was the first ninja to make a fusion dragon TWICE
Shes the fucking best
Their fusion dragons so cool
Ray: Now listen, this is VERY important. The first obstacle—
Kai: THERES NO TIME! Wus wasting away!
just wait a goddamn second 😭
I love their sibling relationship sm
Kai, who almost fell in a crater: haha… who knew you could be so high up, under water…
Nya: 😐😑😐
Kai: uhhh any idea on how to get down there without breaking our necks.
Nya: well, we could ask our dad… Oh no wait! You were too impatient for that.
Their relationship is everything to me
Cyrus borg after attacking the ninja in vermillion suits: You came, to rescue me?
Jay: Yeah… a decision im coming to regret…
Love how Jay was a huge cyrus borg fanatic and now is just tired of the guy 💀
Cole: Duh, they kidnapped all the builders in ninjago. Pay attention Jay!
5 minutes later
Jay: Duh, its a temporal voyage, temporal meaning ‘time’. PAY ATTENTION COLE.
Love how at the beginning of this season Jay didn’t even know what Temporal meant.
I feel like thats happened before, with Jay not knowing the meaning of a word and then constantly using it when he does.
Kai: You know how moms can get, haha!
Nya: No… because, i never had one.”
Kai: ah.
Kai: Right.
Kai: Because ours got kidnapped when you were only 3.
Kai: Sorry.
HFJDJFNDJJT
what a blunt way to just drop that 😭
Awwww now hes trying to cheer her up 🥹
Hes such a good older brother
Cyrus borg is actually so smart implementing a self destruct code even when the time brothers were watching him like a hawk
HE FORGOT THE CODE 💀💀💀
(All the ninja secretly taking borg away in their disguises with their faces covered)
Jay: (Showing his whole face) Aye aye captain!
Vermillion general: DID YOU JUST TALK!?!?
JAY.
Cole: seriously Jay??? We’re NINJA we’re supposed to be stealthy
EXACTLY.
SAMURAI X!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!
knowing Samurai X is Pixal makes this whole exchange between the two of them adorable
Pixals so badass
Ok but why would their parents create geometric monsters that water and fire cant defeat.
OHHHH BC THEY GOTTA WORK TOGETHER
Awwwww the little geometric screams
Kai after they try to use water and fire on the door: Working together, hehe 😎(Breaks his hands and feet fighting it)
Nya: Its the dragon blade! For ONCE take TWO seconds to think a problem through!
Shes not wrong💀
Kai: (picks up the time blade and everything starts crumbling)
Nya: YOU DIDNT THINK THAT MAYBE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT TOGETHER LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE?!??!?????
Kai: We gotta bolt! Or do you wanna stay and think a problem through?
HFNDJGNNDF
i love them sm
I keep forgetting they can do airjitzu
Cyrus borg: Uhhh i remember the destruction code was a 13 hundred sequence…
OMFG
Yeah. I mean, it was pretty obvious the time brother werent gonna let Kai reverse Wu.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
they lost :(
THEYRE GONNA THROW THEM ALL IN THE BOILING SEA?!!?!?
okay but why do Kai and Nya need the dragon sword to make a fusion dragon. Jay and Nya didnt need one in skybound???
Zane: 13 hundred? Thats the first line of code-
Pixal as Samurai X: -in Programming a nindroid!
From Jay being the person who uses his element the most, im assuming its the easiest to animate 😭
Lloyd: SPEED UP ZANE.
Zane (literally shaking from how fast he’s typing): JUST A COUPLE MORE HUNDRED DIGITS
Jay: This could not get any worse.
Cole: did you really just say that? You totally jinxed us!
Jay: pft- Thats not how real life work 🙄
Yeah but thats how cartoons work
(Giants flying shop descends)
Jay:…
Cole:…
Jay: Not saying another word.
NOOO ZANE WAS SO CLOSE
Pls pls plsssss Nya and Kai come swoop in and save the day
FUCK YEAH THEYRE SWOOPING IN
Kai: the dragons not gonna make it in time, we dont have enough speed!
Their mother: good luck kids.
Nya: What are you doing?!?
Mom: Giving you the speed you need! (Fucking jumps off the dragon with her unconscious husband)
Oh ok she landed safely 💀
Kai: Our mom is totally awesome!
Hell yeah she is
WAIT WAIT DID THEY JUST FOLLOW THE TIME BROTHER BACK IN TIME?!?!?!!?
Nya and Kais mom: Children…
Jay: Nya!
Cole: Kai!
Just wanted to point that out. Thats for the lavashippers out there
Jay calling out to Kai and Nya 🥹
NOOO THEIR PARENTTTSSSS
Jay: Why did they risk their lives to go after Krux and Acronix 😢
Ray (their father): It was the only way to save Wu….
Jay: Oh, Okay. Im good with that!
HFDJNFNEJR
Cole: We need to go after them! Cant you build another time machine Cyrus????
Cyrus: I cant :(
Jay: Ohhhhh I get it. ‘I cant’ is business speak means itll cost ya big. Okay business man, i hear you. Uhhhhhh I have a tenner?
JAY.
Jay: Okaaaay, well samurai 2.0, since we’re waiting why dont you tell us whats really under that mask???
Samurai 2.0:
Samurai 2.0: No.
Jay: …
Jay: Would a tenner change your mind?…
HFJDJNTNF
i love Jay sm
Can Ray and Wu just NOT die from aging??? It isnt that hard. Just stop.
Love that Nya and Kai are just hiding right under the time brothers noses
See this is what I meant when i said time travel shit fucks me up.
If Krux and Acronix went back in time shouldnt Wu REMEMBER them coming back????
Jays bio mom: Am I dreaming or are those the guys we just fought?
Time brothers: You stopped us once today, but we now have a legion with us.
Jays bio mom: Awwwwww! And here I thought I was finally gonna go on my honeymoon! Really cute guy too, Cliff is an actor and when I look into his eyes-
STOP JAYS MOM IS SO CUTE AND ACTS JUST LIKE HIM
i love her sm
AND HER ACCENT.
Wish we learned more about her
NYA, KAI GO HELP THEM FIGHT WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE
“Change anything, change everything”
God this is giving me so much season 1 time traveling deja vu
Love how the ninja contradict Wus own wisdom with his other same wisdom hfjsbfjsjr
OHHHH THEYRE PRETENDING TO BE THEIR PARENTS.
i laughed a little when Kai exaggeratingly deepened his voice terribly like his fathers and then Nya proceeded to give the best impression of her mother ive ever seen 😭
Cant believe the time brothers just killed their snake commanders
Hate that their time machine is called the ‘iron doom’
Jays bio mom: Ughhhh SERIOUSLY!?!? normal snake samurai are hard enough. How do we stop THAT?
Noooo time has been altered :(
wait, no technology?
WAIT WAIT WAIT
NO ZANE?!?!?!?!?
BUT DIDNT DR JULIEN MAKE HIM FROM SCRATCH?!?!?!?
HE HAS HIS SEASON 1 VACANT STARE 😭😭😭😭
I miss Garmadon….
Seeing him and Wu young and somewhat happy makes me wanna cry
Krux: You know what they say, fight fire with time!
Acronix:…
Acronix: I hate when you make up sayings.
Wait what is Nya doing
Ik shes doing smth super smart but WHAT
Nya istg u better have a plan bc Krux and Acronix just traveled to the future and are probably gonna destroy the world so you better have SOMETHING
also your brothers absolutely dejected and feels like a failure so maybe talk with him
THE REVERSAL TIME BLADE!!!!1!1!1!1
WUS BACK!!!!
wait what are they doing with it
WAIT ARE THEY GOING BACK IN TIME?!?!?
i cant do time travel shit i dont understand a thing
Ok ok, so they fixed everything.
That was anti-climatic.
ZANES BACK!!!!!
Jay: Kai and Nya did it! (Hugs samurai x) wanna celebrate by telling me who you are?
Samurai 2.0: No.
Oh wait Rays dying.
Krux and Acronix: if we go far enough in time, there will be no one who knows us! Aaaand no Kai and Nya!!!
Kai: Wow! You just keep getting it wrong dont you?
Nya: That must be really, really frustrating.
I absolutely love them
Wu cares for Ray sm 🥺
Wu: (destroys the fucking time machine)
FUCK YEAH WU BE A BADASS
Kai: Why did you do that?????
Wu: Putting off until tomorrow what cannot be done today.
Damn. Twisting around his own analogies now.
They made Rays old death so much more violent and sad then Wus
Cole: Wait, wheres master Wu?????
Kai: Hes gone…
Cole: So, we dont have a master anymore..?
Everyone:…
Jay: Yes we do, you Lloyd. It has to be you.
Im so glad im rewatching this show, I legitimately forgot all about this.
Lloyd: We will not rest, until we figure out. where is Wu.
AAAAAA OMFG IM SO HYPED NEXT IS SONS OF GARMADONS AND THEIR NEW DESIGNS AND WUS SADLY GONE AND LLOYDS A MASTER NOW THIS IS SO GOOD
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SCPS I WOULD TRUST WITH C!TOMMY
Note! This list doesn’t judge SCPs off of their morals, personality, utility, or overall Objective Goodness. This list is a judge of whether or not I think the SCP would care for, look after, or otherwise benefit c!Tommy with its presence. List is under the Read More and is purely personal opinion.
#1: SCP-682
Okay I know this is a wacky start. But listen. C!Tommy, yes? C!Tommy? Baby? Baby boy starchild darling bubble blessed by the golden sun itsefl? Lover of the Unloved? Tell me, if you can, that c!Tommy would not be the ONE PERSON on this bitch of an earth that could turn this omnicidal regenerative monster of endless adaptability into a Whole Ass Puppy Dog. He could! He could do it. He could do it very easily, and SCP-682 would be so disgusted by the server’s treatment of the boy that he’d go on a rampage and make everyone pay. Would that be the most moral thing for him to do? No. Would it be very fun and incredibly satisfying to see. Abso-FUCKING-lutly.
Feed! C! Doomsday! Trio! To! The! Murder Lizard!
#2: SCP-3887
This one probably makes more sense upon a first glance. SCP-3887-B, AKA Grenda, is a very sweet boogeyman-type creature that acts in a protective manner towards the human woman she’s been attached to since she was a little girl. She could easily latch onto Tommy, and given her generally friendly, lighthearted, motherly/big sisterly jokester demeanor, I think C!Tommy would warm up to Grenda very quickly once he got over the initial shock of her popping out from under his bed(likely located in the attic of c!Tubbo’s old house as that’s the most secure locate).
However...there is ONE issue with Grenda being Tommy’s personal guardian. That being that Grenda’s species of monster adapt their physical appearance to look like a fusion of whatever it is there human is most afraid of. And given that c!Tommy’s current(and 100% valid fear) is that of his obsessive murderous abuser, I fear that Grenda’s body could possible change in a way to resemble c!Dream, even if she herself doesn’t wish for it to do so.
Unless Grenda can control her shape-shifting! In which case maybe she’d just stay as a stereotypical monster that Tommy could giggle at. Maybe something vaguely bovine to feed into his love of cows! That’d be cute.
Then there’s the topic of Grenda’s diet. Grenda eats off of the fear of those around her. She doesn’t need to harm them physically to do so, nor does she act in a violent manner unless prompted to by seeing her human in danger. Tommy is a very anxious little fella, and as such would be the perfect source of nutrition, and once he gets to properly heal and settles down some, she could easily just drag people like c!Puffy or cBad down into her cave dimension to spook ‘em a little to get a bit of food, as well as to give them a Very Firm Talking To about using a child’s triggers against him. She could tell them off!! It’d be very good.
#3: SCP-131
Eyepods! Little goobers! These little dudes might be a bit spooky at first, but I think they’d make for both good company as well as good security. They could keep an eye on his home at night! Peep into the dark to spot any wrongins! Either run upstairs to alert Tommy so he can get away, OR more humorously, kill c!Dream or anybody else who’d want to break in via a series of Home Alone style traps. It works either way.
#4: SCP-999
This needs no explanation.
#5: SCP-963, AKA Dr. Jack Bright
Now listen. I know Dr. Bright is a nutcase. An utter madlad. A bit of a jerk. Sorta an agent of chaos. He’s wacky, he’s weird, he’s got a whole list dedicated to stuff he’s not allowed to do, and overall he’s not the sort of man you’d want to let around a traumatized barely 18 year old boy.
But listen.
Bright knows FULL DAMN WELL the horrors of forced immortality. He knows the pain it causes. He knows the damage it brings to ones mental state. He knows how awful it is to be forced into living forever, so I think if he knew that C!Dream was trying to bring such a fate onto a young boy, he would lose his Utter & Complete Shit and classify the cunt as a Keter in need of immediate termination.
also he and tommy would do crime together and it would be good
I’ll add more to this list as I read more articles. This is how I’ve been coping with lack of Good Lore. Please lord help me /hj
#dream smp#scp#scp fandom#c!tommy#writing stuff#tw abuse mention#tw death mention#this is a mostly /hj shitpost#but it's also /gen
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Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask: ALL the answers!
Got sent this ages ago, just found it again today and ah. Decided that I'm feeling especially unhinged and I will answer all of them, whether you like it or not (and whether it is asked or not). Sticking it under a read more so that I don't clog up dashes :)
😅 What’s a story or scene you’ve created that you’re a smidge embarrassed exists?
Somewhere on one of my old harddrives. There exists a snippet of the start of a smut scene between two of my characters from my sim city I turned into a story. It is only about. 300 words. but it makes me blush very much these days
There also exists, in an old notebook, a draft of Crystal Springs in which PYROS was Jack/Jacqueline's real Dad and no, I will not elaborate
🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?
Any sibling bonding. Makes me soft.
Same with the fucking uh, GIRLFRIENDS (Dite and Jacqueline). ANY time they are romantic I die.
And I wrote those bits
I am dying mySELF! Fuck!
🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?
So fucking many, but my all time favourite that nobody caught is the following:
"There's another thing," Curtis said. "The clause involves a sort of de-Santafication process. As we get closer to the date, Santa becomes less Santa and more, well, himself. Before the Santa thing happened. What do we do if Santa notices and finds out about the clause?"
"We send him to Utah," Bernard said. Curtis made an odd noise.
The joke here being that for WHATEVER reason in the Santa Clause 2, the marriage is valid anywhere EXCEPT for in the state of Utah. Why? Idk. But I thought this line was so funny and nobody seems to have picked up on it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?
any Elle mentions in Frostmas are written with the intent to cause physical damage, especially to Ana (sorry not sorry boo ;)
When Jacqueline breaks out of Pyros's control and tells Jack to kick his ass, and promptly goes into magic coma >:)
✍ Do you have a beta reader?
No, I do not. I read everything three times before I post; and then a couple days after I post to catch typos I may have skimmed over
Do I want a beta? Not particularly! I already update in long increments of time as is, could you imagine if I had to wait for fics to be beta'd as well? YIKES
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
Evil Uncles (idk why. My two uncles are not evil; one is weird in a bad way and the other is a jerk butt. But not evil.)
Families that communicate their issues; fuck miscommunication as a plotline, all my homies hate miscommunication as a plotline
Pathetic fallacy. I'm always a slut for pathetic fallacy >:)
Hurt/Comfort, Humour, healthy doses of angst
The most chaotic scenes you could ever imagine (perks to writing about magical beings!)
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
FROSTMAS!
This fucking FIC I SWEAR
She has given me migranes. She is a game I play, in which I have to give the heroes a chance but also let them fail bc the real villain of Frostmas is ME
And like. We KNOW Frostmas happens for 12 years, ok, so like. BMan and Jacquie Beans cannot win! Not until Year 12 and even then, THEY DON'T DO THE WINNING
I have to stay three steps ahead of them at all times and it is EXHAUSTING, villains do NOT get paid enough/sppreciated enough, geezus
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
the dialogue is AMAZING
the humour fits in WELL
and man am I good at portraying siblings or WHAT
and why do tsc ocs i write fit so well into the universe, wtf is up with that
💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?
They're nice :)
🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?
I do indeed!
Panic at the Disoc was on loop for Fusion AU as a fun fact
Usually it's instrumentals tho
LATELY Weezer's been on loop, with their SZNZ collection!
Frostmas has it's own playlist, and usually it's angry loud stuff :)
🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?
Word/OneNote. Nothing fancy. I have it for free from work so, y'know, it gets used :)
⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
SEVERAL SMILE SHOTS
They weren't so much as SCRAPPED as they were LOST TO THE VOID when my hard drive got dunked on by a stone floor in 2016
There were two I can recall off the top of my head:
1. When the Twins Met Jack: this one had a solid like. 1k to it. It was a smile shot about the day the Twins realized hey, there's this dude in old photos who looks very similar to us? Whomst tf is he? And rush to ask Jacqueline about it
2. A Trip to Gstaad: Jack takes Jacqueline to Gstaad for skiing/snowboarding. Nasty storm hits and they get stuck at the top with a handful of mortals. shenanigans ensue, mainly "do we magically poof off? stay with these guys? or magically help these guys? decisions, decisions. all of them mediocre. I think the Twins popped over at one point to help keep the humans warm. It was a wild ride
One that I completed then SCRAPPED was Jacqueline and Elle seeing Frozen. They go a lil crazy with the references, and it was funny to indulge in ages ago but when I went back and read it I was like wow! that's cringe, Dani! So it's being reworked to be less cringe. Instead of going full fandom, Elline decides to approach frozen with SCIENCE which, of course, gets everyone very interested.
It's very, CAN WE MAKE CLOTHES WITH JUST SNOW, AND NO BASE? HOW MUCH EFFORT IS A GIANT ICE PALACE? That sort of thing, lol
🙋♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?
A handful, yes! My fiance, my best friend, my Mom, and my sister, too. I've opened up to a few other friends about writing fanfic but got poked fun at and it made me less inclined to share with IRL folks, so I don't do that as much 🙃. It took me a LOT to open up to my newer friends and they're so sweetly supportive lmao, I love it
🍦 What’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far?
Probably the snippet where Dite Comes Out as Ace, or Diteline First Kiss, or an amalgamation of snippets from Crystal Springs's B Arc, which is Jack being home and making amends. OH there's also a Blinter fic that follows their meeting and courtship and shit. It's cute. And unfinished. And has been so for like. 5 years?
🍷 Do you drink and write?
Not frequently, no! Maybe done it once or twice.
🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what’s your most popular nsfw fic?
Ha, no.
🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?
Yeah, during work hours. VERY inconvenient. Either then or well past midnight. Also inconvenient 🙃🙃
💖 What made you start writing?
This is a good question! I don't have an answer! I've made stories in my head as long as I can remember. My very first story was about a hippy who lost his magic button and had to find it. The hippy looked very much like Shaggy Scooby-Doo, lmao.
Once my cousin showed me ff.net, all hell broke loose. I made so many lil OCs for me to experience fun stories in various universes! I was too afraid to post and started with original content (not fantasy, think like. Debbie Macomber Cedar Valley or w/e it was called books) and that was a GOOD experience, but for WHATEVER REASON, it was the freaking Santa clause movies that really had me writing nonstop and posting. I've yet to know why, but I know that these blorbos are now mine and I love them very dearly lol
💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?
Love love LOVE them! All comments! I love paragraph long comments talking about fave parts or waxing poetic about different little allusions or similarities or symbols and shit I sneak in >:)
I've received ConCrit before and it was okay, but a lot of their criticism was because of like. Names for characters and such and why they were similar to place names and such, and things like. Like for example, someone being like "Why is Blaise still leading Crystal Springs? He abolished the monarchy? but is still leader?" And sometimes it's like, thanks for the crit, but like. Suspend ur disbelief/google Mayor Hazel McCallion lol. If I ever receive proper ConCrit I'll see how I feel about it then! I know it's supposed to be constructive, but the only ones I have seen forget the constructive bit and are just criticisms. Wild.
❌ What’s a trope you will never write?
ANYTHING to do with miscommunication. FUCK miscommunication, all my hommies hate miscommunication 😠😠
💲 Would you ever open commissions?
Ugh, that's a toughie. On the one hand, maybe! I'm decent enough a writer for decent fics and such. but on the other hand, I feel as though writing commissions are hard and I worry too much about getting other characters in character, you know? so probably no
🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?
Not really, but when I do it's always something weird like, filing systems in the 1700s or weather patterns in Australia in the 2000s. that sorta shit.
🏆 What’s your most popular fic?
So if we base it on reviews, Crystal Springs definitely. But if we base it on QUALITY of reviews and readers, it's Frostmas. Frostmas has a lot of readers who don't read CS, so it's a bit more popular! I've also done some Danny Phantom one shots and those get a good amount of notes on tumblr :)
🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?
The only fic I write is for holidays, baybee. And it's Frostmas I think lol.
🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?
YES! One of them guessed like, in Year 6 that Jacqueline was gonna do the big freeze! That was excellent! Here's the moment in question:
ON THE MONEY!
🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?
I've only started getting fanart this year (that is, in big quantities) and I fucking LOVE it. It's been such an ego boost and helped em make new friends and feel really loved and appreciated! 💕💕💕
📈 How many fics do you have?
like 7 or 8 published on ff.net. But one is a collection of onehsots. So like, maybe more??? Also ItS exists but isn't posted and isn't written past Chapter 1 lol, though it is planned through to chapter 7 or 8 rn I believe. So maybe 9????
🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
Bit of both! I list scenes I wanna include, or the general idea I want to explore, and go from there! Lots of point form notes that are almost writing. For example:
I am a srs writer, i swear (she claims after reading Blaise say "wtf is up son")
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
Okay, so! We have the sequel to the Santa Dump, AND the proper sequel to the Clifton Manor incident: the highly anticipated Clifton SOCIETY Incident. you can look forward to lots of funky things, including:
Charlie/Jacqueline friendship and being badass mother fuckers!
GOD TIER Jack sass
Santa being sweet to kids
Jack and Jacqueline kicking ass and taking names
The sane Cliftons thinking Jack and Santa are married, courtesy of Jacqueline and Charlie flubbing their cover story lmao
BUT I ALSO HAVE A REWRITE OF THE CALL COMING UP! Along with the part 2 to the original. But with updated lore and ideas and some fun Mother Nature moments and BABY SEASON SISTERS? HELLO?
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
Write for yourself, first and foremost
Mary Sues are FUN. Go crazy!
Double and triple check for grammar/typos :) They sneak by sometimes, and I know it's TEDIOUS but you'll thank yourself in the long run (war flashbacks to snow BOARDER)
PARAGRAPH BREAKS ARE YOUR FRIEND! NEW PARAGRAPH EVERY TIME SOMEONE NEW SPEAKS!
Said is NOT dead. Said is invisible, that's the real secret :)
💞 Who’s your comfort character?
I don't have an answer for this one, lmao. I don't quite have comfort characters like most people seem to have them? I have comfort movies! Comfort VIBES! but no characters :) All of my babies give me comfort tbh!
🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.
This one's more of an ask box shenanigan so instead I'm just gonna casually put the Crystal Springs FACTS tag right here 👀👀
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
Blaise and the Twins! Though I am LIVING for the vibes Jack and Winter are giving in Chapter 18 >:). See:
🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?
Another one? Well alright, if you insist 😏😏. Have some fucking uh,,,, Clifton Society Incident?? 😏😏
😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?
Probably The Clifton Society Incident. I mean, they're straight up myth hunters. The Head Dude wants to torture Santa and Jack. That's all shades of ah, fucked up lmao. You all saw what I did to him in the Santa Dump. It only gets worse >:)
🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?
Long ass reviews and a feeling of happiness with my me, unrelated to the reviews! If I post it and I like it and reading it makes ME happy, then the fic is a success :)
✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?
Evil Uncles? Idk why? Communication, but I know why THAT is. Bad puns, and sass between siblings, and also, a lot of witty snapbacks. Which I can't do on the spot IRL so I guess they have to go somewhere :)
📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?
ABSOLUTELY! I'd love to separate Crystal Springs from it's very itty bitty fandom ties (at this point. this world is so developed y'all I'm. WHEW) and write it. I;ve got like 6?? Crystal Springs stories/spinoffs planned??
⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?
A week at my most productive, 3 months to a year at worst. A year or two for Frostmas. That thing is a monstrosity.
🤯 What’s a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?
Definitely mystery and like. Drama/suspense! I don't vibe with those and they don't vibe with me.
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
The Smile Shot "They Said it Couldn't be Done". That fucked me UP. ANYTHING with smol Jacqueline pre-Day of Darkness gets me heartbroken, but this one ESPECIALLY hits bc it's Jack's POV and hits home how bad curses do be ):
💥 How do you feel about criticism?
Can't live with it, can't live without it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. And the gentler it is, the more it sticks! Being rude/cruel/dehumanizing in your crit makes the reciever less likely to take it and improve! If you're kind and gentle and remember the positives to mention, it'll stick more :)
🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?
Dani writes! That's where ALL the writing is!
🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?
YES YES YES AND YES! PLEASE INTERACT I LOVE IT I LIVE FOR IT! IT'S FUN! :D
#dani speaks#about me#ask box shenanigans#but like. unsolicited lmao#long post#dani wips#bc there's some lil wips hanging out in this thing
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So questions for 3 OCs!
1. Samaya G. Pallen - alright, she scares me already. And also I would love to have my music examined by her. For all her music as-fortune-telling she has going on, what’s her own taste in music like? Does her music-telling skills extend to herself?
2. Skilner - I love him already! I’ve got something soft for the ‘ex-criminal on the straight & narrow’ trope. What is his niece like? What sort of things do they do together?
3. Inam Vallath - oh my goodness I had to stop from screaming while reading hers. My LoA MC, Fiona, is also interested in IP law and had his undergrad degree in STEM field (specifically in pure physics!!). So, what made Inam switch to law?
Thank you 🌺
aaaah thank you sm for these!!!
ask me about my ocs
1. samaya: oh hells yeah she's scary. samaya (sam) has more of a "i'll listen to anything" music taste. she grew up with two brothers who were into all the psychadelic, progressive and alt-rock scenes and eventually grew sick of it and gravitated towards electronica and tried to go all "i'm into super niche bands" kind of way, but dropped the act after she kind of grew an appreciative ear towards music in general. she joined her high school band playing keyboard and since they could only play pop songs mandated by the school, she kind of got coerced into listening to pop and exploring more experimental styles of the genre.
then when she got to her graduating year in high school, she began getting jobs at local places like cafes and pizzerias - wherever she could apply and got to explore a whole new arena of music. you'd have bands that focus on world music to opera singers to kids with synthpads, baroque pop, swedish death metal, latin fusion and so on and so forth. she kind of developed her own taste in those music genres by just taking an interest and specifically applying to work in places that have musicians come over to show their stuff.
she doesn't really have a "home base" artist or band that she frequently listens to. her playlists are categorized by mood. this appreciative tendency helps her kind of navigate a whole new crowd in college, where she's constantly learning new things and it helps her kind of meet new people and get into their heads. it isn't what samaya intended for when she decided "fuck favourites, I'm listening to everything" because mostly she wanted to keep an open mind to avoid confrontation, but it was a nice bonus ability to develop - to be able to get into people's heads through their tastes in music just solely from meeting new people. sam's not a sociable person but she loves talking shop with her classmates.
as for this "ability" of hers - it's more of a hit-or-a-miss. sometimes she's just going to have to accept people are complicated, which is why she can tell you where you might be in life if you're listening to <xyz>. for example, nora's a big abba fan but not consistently. samaya was able to point out she was trying so hard to stay optimistic about things when she felt she was losing everything w respect to the case, and threw her an extra scone on the house. her key nature is to empathize with people and it's easier to do so if you just listen to what they're listening when they're on their own.
and yes, it totally backfires sometimes lmao. she has this period of self-reflection when she's just listening to a lot of darkwave and peppered in the middle are just power pop anthems and she's like "wow, I need therapy right now."
2. skilner: okay okay i am so obsessed with this question SO MUCH. skilner doesn't have kids on his own. he has a sister who is a single parent with a six year old daughter, Kinsey. their family is kind of broken apart. skilner had a failed marriage once upon a time and between trying to escape his life of crime - being in and out of prisons, he kind of developed this "i have nobody" mentality and it kind of began eating into him. kinsey's birth and him reconnecting back with his sister kind of brought them together. skilner's sister, Lillith had a tough time too; bringing her daughter up and left to deal with a lot of debt after kinsey's father's departure from their lives. it was an absolute mess. once skilner got some of his life back together, he heard about lillith and kinsey and attempted to come back to their lives since they were his only family and he really needed stability even when he felt as though he didn't need anyone.
with kinsey growing up, skilner wanted to do better. upon pressure from lillith, skilner tried going back to night school to get a job but with no avail. then he tried a string of odd jobs, wanting to prove himself to his sister. about this time when he met nora and offered to help her out in exchange for a cut of what she'd make from the client's fees. he did everything and saved up enough money to get something for kinsey at least every year for her birthday. raggedy dollhouses from thrift stores, trinkets and books she'd like - one time he taught her how to sew - which only made lillith horrified because kinsey was only two at that time.
skilner's had a tough life. he's old enough to be somebody's grandfather, and yet agile enough to throw hands with anyone. he's never had a proper life doing anything; getting into drug dealing at a young age, never going to college and just living in between prison sentences. he didn't have a proper life until he reached his mid-40s, early 50s and that was the toughest period in his life. he couldn't help lillith either - she was struggling in her 40s, handling a baby she didn't want to have and knowing she was out of options to give kinsey up even if she wanted to. lillith was equally financially unstable. she spent half of her 30s trying to get out of an abusive relationship and trying to repair it by getting into more, hoping something might click. she didn't have family either and this baby, kinsey coming into both their lives was a massive shock. skilner had to put his life behind to help his sister no matter what.
even today they're still not out of the woods yet. skilner is getting old - he blames prison for aging him faster; lillith is a few good years away from retirement and they're both worried sick for what might happen to kinsey. still, they make the best use of what they have. skilner's janitor job helps with the rent. he babysits kinsey while lillith is out for work, helps her out with her homework and it's a learning moment for him too. skilner takes up more janitor jobs - cleaning the local church and parks, trying to get clean and building back his life after being an ex-con for most of it. he likes taking kinsey to work with him, especially to the parks. he teaches her how to forage, how to make fire, to ride a bike, throw a stick and wants to spend as much time spoiling her or being with this kid until he physically can't.
he also sees a bit of kinsey in nora too. what started out as a quid-pro-quo relationship quickly became skilner taking care of nora like she's his own daughter. they don't talk a lot since they live in different places and have different things to do, but when they cross paths, they talk for hours which usually ends in skilner going "don't fuck it up" and nora shaking her head in amusement.
3: Inam: I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT INAM FOR YEARS AAAAH okay okay AND IT'S so cool of Fiona being interested in IP law too!!! aaaaahh!!!
inam comes from a family of stem-ologists if that makes sense lmao; specifically her paternal side is completely into botany and herpetology. she has an uncle who runs his own science journal. her maternal side is the exact opposite. none of them work in a stem field even if they have a stem degree. for example, inam's mother is a history professor (this brings up a cool new hc where inam's mom works at the same uni as nora's mother , alison used to work as a math professor), inam's grandmother and great-grandmother were all prominent architects, sculptors, entrepreneurs and writers. her aunt's an accountant for a pharma company, despite having a chemistry degree.
so inam grew up with the best of both worlds. she was influenced by her dad the most - getting into mechanical engineering because she loved loved design. her mother did a lot of research on middle age architecture - especially on how certain structures like pillars, beams, reinforcements evolved over time and hypothesizing how they may have been built for her phd thesis and inam was inspired to look into automobile and industrial design as her career path.
it all came crashing down in her senior year where when she was determined to get into a job and work, everyone else was thinking about postgrad. she ran in a lot of 'pretentious circles' by default as an academically-inclined student - even though she wasn't pretentious herself - but she felt like she ought to do something like that too, even though she didn't want to do a master's rightaway - not before having experience in the actual field. She did end up going for an internship for a bit, the thought of "something after college" lingering in her head and... absolutely hated the job.
inam knew she couldn't generalize the industry but she didn't like her introduction into the world. she talked to her parents about it and it felt like she was no good. she couldn't "fit in" anywhere despite having a good academic record. she tried research but it was going to take her a long way and she wanted to speedrun through her career and fast. a master's would destroy her mental health and she felt like she'd be losing time there too. she talked to people about it, she talked to guidance counsellors but nobody had a solution as to how she could "combine her love for design, be able to actually put those concepts to use and not having it be a research job that required a lot more specialization than usual or an industry job that she wasn't willing to take".
it was a tough period to climb out of - she lost her friends, she lost the trust of her parents who'd thought she was thinking out of her ass, she lost the faith she'd given a lot of people - including her professors in college who'd hoped she'd come back to do her master's degree. she was completely alone and had nowhere else to go. eventually inam did her own research- away from peer pressures. she didn't want to get into law. period. but she had to get some sort of a job to show her parents and friends she got her shit together.
and so she applied for a summer job at a smaller IP law firm (she was looking for something non-committed and could work in a contractor-esque part-time position) that had clients from startups, but in the IT department. inam had a decent computer science background and knew her way around 3D modelling which was particularly useful if you're trying to look at cross sections of designs. her expertise was taken note of by the senior partner in the firm, who insisted she try her hand at IP law.
now law school's expensive. inam's parents took some convincing but they were more worried about her "wasting her 20s" when she'd always wanted to work in the industry. they insisted she try her luck with the lsats but made her promise if it doesn't work out, she's going back to school to finish her postgrad like the original plan went. her parents were more afraid she'd make stupid decisions if she were to get so swayed easily, but they let her give her shot at this because they too were curious if iman was cut out for law - specifically IP law and if she could find a place for herself there. iman got an lsat score of 167 and got accepted into a jd law program (still haven't figured out where she goes) and her parents, once they saw the numbers on paper, decided this seemed to be worth a risk.
and boy did it pay off really well. iman would go on to work in a prestigious ip law firm, with the entirety of new york's business district wrapped around her finger. it was a turbulent path to figuring out what she wanted. she realized she can never "truly like" something or "belong somewhere". she'd just have to drive on the road and see where it goes.
thank you so much for these questions!!!!!!!! i had such a fun time answering them!
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december!! what the fuck do you MEAN it's already been 2 years of doing these monthly charts. uh open for names and stuff yaurrrr
going to add a little description for why a certain thing ends up on here
the volunteers - the volunteers / dash's favorite album!!! super meaningful to me now
maggie rogers - surrender / this has just kinda been a mood all year. like messy and melodramatic and bombastic and honest
lady gaga - the fame monster / got pulled to revisit this, and i'm sorry but she served so fucking hard. this is the deluxe w the fame included btw
ariana grande - dangerous woman / idk i just felt like i needed to revisit it after spending a lot of time away and unfortunately it's still a really good pop album
mitski - the land is inhospitable and so are we / underrated as fuck healing album. easily her best
beabadoobee - beatopia / been revisiting a lot of summer 2022 stuff and this one has held up so well. really good album and great cover
hitsujibungaku - 12 hugs (like butterflies) / i love their previous album and this is their new release! it's not my favorite but it's rly good and i wanna give it more time to grow on me
marina - electra heart / been pulled back to the melodramatic pop of my teen years (see tfm and dw above) and they're all just really good? been humming hypocrates all month
yeule - softscars / been an album for processing shit and letting it go and being unabashedly, cringedly myself
boygenius - the record & the rest / [ tries not to cry ] ok but actually tho just cool about it & afraid of heights. that is all
alvvays - blue rev / dash rly likes after the earthquake and the album is so good :)
charli xcx - crash / missed this album a bit! still rly good imo like it fills the niche of pop to turn your brain off to
food house - food house / my fav hyperpop project still, wanted earnestness and simple tried-and-true tactics rather than gimmicks and frost childrens' hyperpop albums have been on heavy rotation all year so i figured i'd revisit this instead
olivia rodrigo - guts / the stranglehold this has on my teenager arc...
pinkpantheress - heaven knows / REALLY good in a surprising way. thought her debut project was good-but-not-great but this has some BANGERS and a stunning cover. women win
yola - stand for myself / revisiting summer 2022 stuff again, but this is like the most meaningful album of that era to me and i have been just thinking about a lot
lucy dacus - home video / [ starts crying ] top 3 of all time for me. thumbs only hits harder as more time passes unfortunately
courtney barnett - tell me how you really feel / dash really likes it, and i've been in the mood for some courtney anyways. ttttt is also rly good but it's a healing album and i am not exactly healing rn lmao
hayley williams - flower for vases (descansos) / continuing right from where ^ left off, this has been my comfort during rough times for going on 3 years now. such a flawless album
rina sawayama - hold the girl / ok now HERE'S a healing album. this one is still so good idgaf if it's not experimental genre fusions. the girls that get it get it and the ones that don't dont
corinne bailey rae - black rainbows / can i be real i listened to this on a whim this month bc of mic the snare and wow it's so good. been on my mind ever since
sigrid - the hype / honestly a bit of a sleeper hit on this chart? borderline has been slowly becoming one of my all time fav pop songs, and i forgot how good wanted it to be you was
frost children - hearth room / my fav hyperpoppers really went and made an indie record... it's fun tbh it's silly and lighthearted and i love frost park in particular :)
carly rae jepsen - the loneliest time & the loveliest time / both of these are stunningly good but i've been fixating on talking to yourself all month
ethel cain - preacher's daughter / [ continues crying ] girlie is emotionally crafting things to be here specifically for me during my lowest points and we love that for me
-----
ok so real shit i already finished crunching the stats but i am too dissociative to do the fucking stat analysis rn. it'll be in the january post idgaf ok cya in 2024 * vine boom *
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serotonin boost prompt whenever you find the time: gallavich date with secret smiles, sweet kisses and the handholding we all deserve ❤️❤️
"We're gonna miss it, Mickey," Ian says for at least the third time, eyes on the ever-ticking clock over their fireplace. Mickey, kneeling on the floor in front of the worn sofa they had grabbed off a curb when they found out they had to get their own, just shrugs. He picks out a bright red crayon to pass to Franny, who's laying on her stomach next to him scribbling on the back of an ad for the local co-op.
"Calm down, man," he tells Ian. "She'll be here soon, can't do anything about a late train."
Ian sighs, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes. "Since when do you stand up for Debbie?"
Mickey eyes him warily from the floor. "Since it's not her fault," he answers, then asks, "Why you so worked up about it, anyway? It's not a big deal."
He sounds honestly confused, and it only makes Ian more upset. This was supposed to be their night. Their one night, all week, to just do something nice together. And Debbie had to come to them for last-minute babysitting while she went to an interview, then had to be late enough getting back to send all Ian's plans circling the drain.
He doesn't say any of that to Mickey. "It's nothing," he mumbles instead, knowing it sounds unconvincing but not really caring at the moment.
Sure enough, Mickey's eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to reply, but gets interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Mommy!" Franny cries, jumping off the floor to race to the apartment door. Mickey is slower to rise, grumbling about getting too old for sitting on the floor; if Ian we're in a better mood, he'd tease him for being perfectly fine with lying on it the other night. Ian stays put, leaving Mickey to follow their niece with a concerned glance back at him.
Ian listens to Mickey opening the door, reminding Franny to let him do it, and greeting Debbie. He knows if he followed, he'd say something about her tardiness, so he lets Mickey make his excuses and wave the two of them off.
He braces himself when he hears the door click closed again, and Mickey's footsteps come back around into the living room.
Mickey doesn't say anything about his sour mood.
"Kay, you ready?" he asks instead, grabbing his wallet from the crate temporarily serving as a coffee table.
Ian laughs humorlessly.
"I was ready an hour ago," he points out dryly. "But we missed our reservation already, Mick, we're not going anywhere now."
Mickey frowns at him. "Nah, fuck that, man," he says. "This is our night, right?" he asks, and Ian would be lying if he said that didn't warm him up a little, hearing Mickey call it that.
"Yeah," he agrees, and Mickey nods decisively.
"Let's go then," he orders, gesturing to the door. "I ain't givin' up on tonight that easy."
Ian can't help but grin, even as he asks, "go where?"
Mickey smirks, and slaps Ian on the ass when he gets up and walks past him. Ian starts, twisting to look at him with wide eyes, and Mickey waggled his eyebrows just to make Ian laugh.
"You let me worry about that, tough guy."
--
They end up outside the restaurant they had picked out together, some weird new mexican fusion place that advertised world-class margaritas. Mickey had gotten fond of the drink back in Mexico, and Ian figured it was something they could enjoy together.
"Mickey," he says as they get closer, " it took us two weeks to get in here, there's no way they held our table."
Mickey shakes his head. "Gallagher, I'm disappointed in you," he says as he leads Ian to the door. "Ain't conning you way into places your family's shtick?"
Ian just looks at him, brow furrowed, and Mickey rolls his eyes.
"Just hang back a sec, til I wave you over, alright?" he demands. "Watch and fuckin' learn."
And he's off, through the crowd at the entrance and straight up to the podium at the front. Ian can't hear what he says, but there are some wild gestures and hushed but tense words exchanged. At one point, Mickey gets out his phone and taps at it impatiently, pretending to wait for a response before waving it in the host's face.
That bit seems to do the trick, and Ian is waved over, picking his way through the other waiting groups without looking any if them in the face.
When he gets to the front, Mickey is saying, " and you're lucky he didn't have to hear any of that 'overbooked' bullshit, he'd have your fuckin' job for that," before taking off into the restaurant with Ian trailing behind.
He stops at a booth toward the back, and gestures Ian in first, sliding into the bench on the other side.
"What did you do?" Ian hisses lowly, leaning across the table toward him.
Mickey grins, and taps their feet together, catching one of Ian's and drawing it back to his side.
"Told 'em you were Ed Sheeran," he jokes. He reaches under the table to grab Ian's leg, pulling his foot up to rest on Mickey's lap. Ian has to lean back to make it comfortable, but the stroke of Mickey's thumb against the bone of his ankle is worth it.
"You did not," Ian pokes, but Mickey shrugs.
"Does it matter?" he asks quietly as a waiter approaches. Ian pulls his leg back, aware of how they must look, but takes Mickey's hand over the table instead.
"Guess not," he accepts, squeezing Mickey's fingers and feeling the metal of his ring. "Thanks," he adds, and Mickey's smile turns soft.
"Anytime," he murmurs, then grabs the menu to give his order.
--
"That was amazing," Ian groans an hour later, a stack of empty plates between them. Mickey hums his agreement, taking a final bite of fried ice cream dessert before tossing his spoon down with a clatter.
"Fuck yeah it was," he says with a burp that has the couple at the nearest table eying them with distaste. "Except the margaritas," he adds with a scowl, taking a long drag from the bottled beer they had quickly switched to. "Too fuckin' sweet."
"Thought you liked 'em sweet," Ian teases, leaning closer, and Mickey licks his lips.
"Nah," he says slowly, "that's just how I like my men." He winks, and Ian flushes immediately.
"Oh my God," he manages to squeak out, hands flat on the table. "You did not just say that."
Mickey laughs, open and free, and grabs Ian's hand again without prompting.
"The drinks were shit, though," he muses. "Now that I think of it, maybe I was just drinkin' straight tequila down south."
It's Ian's turn to laugh--"only you, Mick"--and they're both grinning like fools when he stops.
"Ready to get outta here, Red?" Mickey murmurs, tilting his head toward the end of the booth.
"Sure, Mick," Ian agrees easily, then let's go if his husband's hand to fumble for his wallet. "Let me just..."
"Hey, no," Mickey interrupts. "They gave away our reservation, man, we ain't payin' for shit."
"What--Mickey!" Ian whispers, but Mickey is already up and moving quickly toward the back, where he catches the door to the kitchen before it closes behind a surprised waiter and slips inside.
With a muffled groan, Ian takes off after him.
He almost makes it, but before the door shuts behind him, he hears the host yelling, "Hey, you can't go in there!"
"Shit, shit, shit," Ian mutters, faced with at least one sous-chef staring at him across the bustling kitchen. Before he has time to panic, though, Mickey is back at his side, grabbing his arm and pulling.
"This way, dipshit!" he hisses as they wind through counters and racks and boxes toward the door to the back alley. "Should've known you'd get caught," he pants, out of breath, "it's the fuckin' hair, man, too bright."
"You like my hair," Ian offers stupidly. Mickey stops long enough to make sure Ian sees him roll his eyes, and grabs a folded tablecloth and a bottle of something fancy from next to the door before he shoves it open with a hip and pulls Ian out into the cool night air.
Ian looks back for pursuit, but the kitchen workers couldn't care less. One of them even salutes him with a bread knife, lips twitching, until the door closes and breaks their line of sight.
They run for a few blocks anyway, until Mickey tugs him into a different alley to catch their breaths.
"That was some date night," Ian pants, hands on knees and a wide grin on his face.
"Night ain't over yet," Mickey disagrees. He pushes off the brick wall he had leaned against, motions back to the street with the arm not holding what he pilfered from the restaurant kitchen. "C'mon, man, we got somewhere to be."
Then he's off again, albeit at a more sedate pace, and Ian laughs again as he follows. He catches up with a few long strides and grabs Mickey's hand, letting his husband lead him once again.
--
This time, they wander farther, only stopping when they come to a park with overly green grass and a neatly manicured baseball diamond.
It isn't their field, the one with the dugout they used to frequent; that field is back Southside, and they haven't walked that far. But it's close, and Ian's heart pounds as Mickey leads him around the open fencing and toward the outfield.
They stop at the greenest point, and Mickey releases Ian's hand to throw down his stolen tablecloth, kicking the edges until it's more or less flat and open. He plops down immediately, just off center, and motions for Ian to do the same as he uses his pocket knife to uncork the stolen bottle of booze.
Ian sits as Mickey takes a swig of the mystery liqour, then accepts the bottle when he passes it over.
"This is nice," he says after a long sip of what turned out to be a moderately pleasant red. "How did you know it was here?"
Mickey reaches for the bottle again, taking another swallow before he answered. "Was helping Debs look at schools," he admits. "For Franny, when she's older."
Ian doesn't press. He loves how much Mickey dotes on their niece, but he knows talking about it makes him uncomfortable still, their own future hanging over them.
He lays down instead, and looks up. The stars are out, glittering above them in patterns he doesn't understand, but thinks must mean something good.
"Thanks for tonight," he says softly to the sky.
The tablecloth rustles as Mickey leans on his elbows next to him.
"Anytime," he replies. He looks down at Ian, and turns on his side so he can brush red hair back from his face.
"Gonna tell me why you were so upset, earlier?" he questions, voice light but serious. "Not like you to freak out like that."
Ian nuzzles into the hand on his face, and closes his eyes. "Just wanted to do something for you," he admits. "You were so excited about finding that place. And you're always doing stuff like that for me."
His eyes flutter open again, fixing on Mickey's face. "Figures the first time I try, everything goes wrong and you have to take over again."
Mickey doesn't respond right away. He watches him, thumb stroking his cheekbone, hand curling around behind his ear.
When he does speak, it's quiet. "I like doin' that shit for you, Ian," he says. "Makes me...happy. To see you smilin'."
Ian's lips stretch into a gentle curve, and Mickey returns it. "Yeah," he whispers, leaning down until their noses brush. "Like that," he finishes, the words lost against Ian's lips as they kiss.
Ian doesn't know how long they stay there, laying on that thin piece of fabric over the grass, making out under the stars. He doesn't care. Because it's Mickey. And despite everything that went wrong tonight, being there with Mickey was perfect.
They're eventually interuppted by what feels like rain, but turns out a second later to be the timed sprinkler system switching on. Mickey yelps into his mouth at the cold water as they break apart, scrambling to dash across the field and to the relative safety of the sidewalk. They leave the tablecloth where it is, a sad heap if fabric wet with water and remainder of their overturned bottle of red wine, and fall against each other as they turn to head toward home.
"Still wanna thank me?" Mickey jokes on the way, teeth chattering as his skin dries.
"Yeah, I do," Ian says, nudging him with a hip before pulling him back, wrapping a long warm arm around his shoulders.
"Tonight was perfect."
And if they stop again to kiss against under the L on their way, Mickey's back pressed to the support and legs hugging Ian's waist, well. It is still their night, after all.
#writing at work while I wait on things#so if there are weird autocorrects please ignore them#that's also why it's long and rambly😅#daily speedwrite#gallavich#mickey milkovich#fanfic#ian gallagher#mickey saves date night
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tuxedo iv, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader
summary: Your life? Oh, it’s normal. Your cat turned into a man yesterday and you just now humped his leg to orgasm. Sorry, what? That’s not normal? O-Of course, it is! It’s like... having a roommate! You argue because you recorded him without his consent. You eat noodles that he’s trying not to bat at all meal. There are skeletons in your closet. Your fingers get stuck in a Chinese finger trap and then you get fingered. Totally normal, by the way!
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; Yoongi LOVES his box; smut (fem reader, mild restraint, penetrative sex, forced orgasms, intentional voyeurism (tsk tsk, Shooky), fingering); domestic and soft moments with your cat-man; non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft shy boy Jeon Jungkook (gasp!!!) POV and bestfriend!Kim Seokjin POV; breaking of the fourth wall; you ARE a furry, oh well
yes, I reference Jin’s iconic Billboard interview answer, The Lion King (1994), Yoongi’s BTS café cereal milkshake, Bill Nye the Science Guy, PENTAGON’s ‘DO or NOT’ / ‘Shine’ / ‘Humph!”, “you got no jams”, The Addams Family (1991) – also there’s a bit of a meme scavenger hunt, I reference too many to list XD
–
part i | part ii | part iii
-
So.
You kinda.
Humped your cat-man’s thigh to orgasm.
You animal.
“Ah… Yoongi,” you started as your cat… man tilted his head, blinking slowly. Unnerving. Why was he staring like that? It reminded you of his previous cat self, where Shooky would watch you with his minty-green eyes, cat face expressionless, whiskers unmoving. What were cats thinking about all the time anyway?
Better yet, what the fuck was Min Yoongi thinking?
You knew what you were thinking. You were thinking that you couldn’t stare at you cum stain on his pink silk pajama leg all day, because that was a master yikes. He had tons of clothes still piled next to the front door of your apartment. All you had to do was convince him to change his outfit. Simple. Easy. Don’t make this weird. Be casual. Be cool as a cucumber. Chill out.
“Um… You should… take off the pajamas… so I can wash them… there are still more clothes you need to try on from the order, right…?”
Your dignity threw up their hands. Why do I even bother being here? I get ignored, the brain in here is smoother than KY Jelly on glass, and you would know, wouldn’t you, you–
“Take them off for me.”
“… P… Pardon?”
“I’m joking.”
He raised an eyebrow, glancing down at your raised hands. You abruptly dropped them, shoving them behind your back. When did that happen? Why did you make grabby hands like that? Surely not because you were expecting anything, right? Definitely not. Not you.
You need help.
Yoongi turned around, black fur tall swishing, the back of his pink silk pants half-lowered. Your jaw went slack, only to forcefully shut back into place as you realized he was still wearing his black boxer briefs since you had spent yesterday sewing tail holes in his convenience store underwear. Of course, he was still wearing them. There was no reason to take them off.
What, did you want to look at his booty again or something?
(Yes.)
He went through the doorframe of your bedroom without saying a word.
Hold on a second.
Did Yoongi let you ride his thigh to orgasm, be sweet to you for two seconds, only to fucking bounce without a peep of acknowledgment? Just fucking yeet? Act like that was totally ordinary behavior and saunter off?
Say sike right now.
A millisecond of bravery shot through you and you bolted out of your chair, your desk rattling with your sudden action.
"Yoongi–!"
You nearly collided into him. You weren’t expecting him to be facing you and you yelped in surprise, skidding on your heels. His hands stopped your hips, freezing you in place so you didn't barrel headfirst into his chest. You flailed about, struggling to regain your balance. All this happening while he continued giving you that deadpan stare. Did anything faze this (cat) man? Shit, you were too close to his face. So close you could feel his breath on your nose.
"You should change too."
Brain malfunctioning at the softness of his tone.
"... W-What?"
Then your neck, ears, face, even your past and future self, the whole timeline became hotter than a supernova, brain erupting into nuclear fusion as Yoongi's deft fingers slid up to the waistband of your leggings, hooking underneath, stroking your skin. He leaned forward, dark eyes out of your vision, chin hovering above your shoulder.
"Urk?!"
He started pushing your leggings down.
He started.
Pushing.
Them.
DOWN!!!
"You can't stay like this all day, right?" Yoongi murmured gently, voice so deep it was resonating in your empty brain, completely clear of all thoughts except those cool fingers pushing your black leggings down, the skintight fabric catching your soaked panties and taking those on the path to hell too, which was probably where you were headed at the rate this was going. "It would be a good idea to change clothes, I think."
You think, Yoongi?
Not you.
You don't have think.
A shrill barrage of low meowing cut through the silence.
Your phone was ringing violently in your room. Yoongi paused, backing up with a frown.
"Why is your ringtone a cat chattering?" he asked, tilting his head quizzically. The continuing sonata of cat chitters escalated before his dark eyes narrowed in recognition. He glared at you and pulled his hands away from your hips, snapping you out of your daze.
"You recorded me?"
"What, what, what?" You blinked rapidly, hearing the familiar sharp chirps and barks of Shooky the cat yelling at birds outside the window. "Oh! Well, yeah... it was funny," you explained weakly, trying to shake out the fog of your horny brain.
"There's nothing funny about trespassers," Yoongi hissed, turning his heel and swiftly marching away.
"Trespassers?" you echoed, blinking in confusion. That’s why he yelled at them as a cat? Did he think he owned all the land the sun touches or something? The sound was getting louder and louder, indicating the call was about to be missed. No time to think about it. You rushed back into your room, nearly half tripping with your leggings only partway on your ass, scrambling to answer your phone. There was an uncomfortable squish between your legs. Yikes. You did need to change.
"Hello? Oh, yes, the video? I'm putting it in the Dropbox right now," you babbled, clicking out of a bizarre pop-up ad with some brown-haired guy in a sienna floral shirt and a boxy smile before placing the exported video in the shared Dropbox folder.
"Sorry, yeah, I know I usually have it done earlier. It's been a weird couple of days..."
-
Kim Seokjin was furious.
Furious!
His best friend ignored his face. His beautiful face! How could she! He fumed, deciding to instead spend his time wisely, as he always did.
He stared at his reflection and nodded, stroking his chin. Yes. A true winner. Look at that brilliant smile. Perfect. He looked great today, as he did every day. Seokjin looked away from the mirror on his desk and went back to his MapleStory life.
-
After a quick change and final edits of the completed video sent off to the client, you left your room to find that Yoongi had stacked his new clothes on the coffee table. The brown cardboard box was on the sofa with him (???), as if it was a human being instead of an ordinary box. He had neatly folded the plastic packaging and placed it on the kitchen counter so you could sort it into the correct recycling.
"Oh... thanks."
He was now wearing a white t-shirt and black pants that actually seemed like they fit, the back of said pants halfway down his butt to accommodate for his tail. He was watching that historical drama; eyes glued the television. The dark brown orbs were hidden by his curtain of black hair. His pointed black ears were turned away from your direction, as if he had no desire to listen to anything you had to say.
As usual.
Yoongi's response was grunting disapprovingly at you.
You sighed, feeling a little guilty.
"To be fair, I couldn't really ask your consent when you were a cat."
Your cat-man appeared to be out of fucks to give. "You should do laundry," he huffed gruffly.
You scooted away awkwardly. "Er... yeah. Let me order some delivery for lunch first..."
-
"Yoongi."
"What?"
"What are you doing?"
He stared at his chopsticks, holding them up high.
"Hmm..."
His pink lips twisted, narrowing his eyes. The fingers in his other hand twitched. He had been staring at the noodles in his ramen for the past five minutes. They were probably cold now. You were getting a bit worried that he didn't like carbs or something. But then you realized that wasn't the case.
His fingers twitched again.
"They're noodles. Not string."
Yoongi didn't reply, itching to bat at the long noodles.
"Just put them in your mouth."
He gave you this look. As if to tell you, you don't usually say that. Usually someone else tells you that.
You thinned your mouth into a line.
"I know you're admiring the skinny legend that is noodles, but, yes, they're edible. Need I remind you that you used to eat string and I had to pull it out of your mouth when you choked on it?"
Yoongi scowled. Apparently, he did not like being reminded. It wasn’t that pleasant for you to remember either. At least you never had to wait until it passed through his body and never had to pull it out of the other end (ew). He peered them for several more seconds before putting them in his mouth. You noticed his ears perked up as he ate.
"You like them?" you asked.
He hummed, not looking at you. Was Yoongi still angry about the recording thing? You weren't changing your ringtone regardless of his dissatisfaction. It was cute. You liked it. And he was being a drama queen, acting all catty.
Hold on.
He was a cat.
(Man.)
-
"What is this?"
"Dessert."
You took a sip and choked a little at the grainy taste.
"Is that cereal?"
"Yeah. It's too hard. Better this way."
You gawked at him, holding the weird cereal milkshake with one hand and his half-sewn pants in the other. Was Yoongi being serious or fucking with you? You couldn't tell. His expression was completely neutral. His cat ears were straight up, trained in your direction, judging your reaction. He lifted his free hand and dropped a handful of rice crisps on the top of the thick white drink.
Well.
Not your preferred thick white drink.
(You nasty.)
He nodded sagely and sat down beside you.
"Show me how to sew."
-
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for you to, please, consider the following.
See, by all recommendations of building healthy relationships, you should have been a responsible human being and had a serious, but necessary, conversation with your (new?) cat-man.
Hey, Yoongi, I find you quite physically attractive and we had that moment in my bedroom, so maybe there's some chemistry and, oh, I don't know, maybe you could stick that prefect looking dick inside me because I've been thinking about it nonstop since (checking watch) the literal second I realized it existed, not to be too forward or anything, you know?
That kind of speech could get you a quick restraining order in most cases, but this was your cat (man) who had lived with you – maybe against his will but, then again, he got fed regularly and when you were previously a stray you can’t complain.
So.
Do or not?
Hmm...
You could have admitted these things, but, alas, this was not the way. No, the way was to remain an absolute fucking mess every time Yoongi leaned over your shoulder to inspect your needlework, nearly stabbing yourself in the finger, your heart leaping your throat, strangling yourself with anxiety.
Fun!
Could everything be quickly solved by telling the truth?
Debatable. Yoongi didn’t seem like the kind of (cat) man to give you a straight answer. Not because he couldn’t. Mostly because he seemed to enjoy watching you struggle. Were you picking up on that?
No. You were too busy thinking about dick.
His dick.
Honestly, don't know if you should laugh or cry right now.
-
Jeon Jungkook flipped his phone around and around in his hand, scrunching up his face.
Should he say something?
Yes. No. Yes? No. Yes… No, no, no.
He sighed and threw his phone onto his bed.
He missed and it slid off, hitting the floor.
That was a bad sign.
“Shit.”
He dived onto the bed, scabbing around on the hardwood to pick up the fallen device. Ah, how come he was thinking about this now? He knew why. He had watched a funny cat video of a tuxedo cat and it reminded him of a certain naughty little fluffball always following around a certain owner. Jungkook hadn’t contacted said owner in nearly a year. Wouldn’t it look bad if he said anything now? But he couldn’t not think about it either. That smile was on his mind all the time now. That feeling from back then, floating around in his head. He sighed again, followed by inhaling with his upper teeth pressed against his inner lower lip, creating a loud sucking sound that no one else could hear because he lived alone.
Alone.
Jungkook lifted his phone, dying sunlight reflecting off the screen, a shine that blinded him for a short moment. He clicked his tongue, squinting as he spied the number still on the screen.
“Ah, why am I always a loser in front of love?”
He wasn’t really saying it to anyone in particular. No one could reply to him anyway.
He tossed the phone carelessly on the pillow and it slid behind it, falling in between the mattress and the bedframe.
“Shit!”
Jungkook spent five minutes fishing his phone out of the narrow crevice before firmly placing it on the bed beside him, pointing at it angrily, glaring at it.
“No! Bad.”
The phone did nothing. It was not sentiment.
Humph! He let out a frustrated puff of breath and flopped down on the bed.
His phone flew up from the force of his flop and smacked him in the nuts.
“SHIT!”
-
“Huh, you pick up things so fast. So meticulous.”
You watched as Yoongi brought the needle through the fabric in slow but clean strokes, following your previous demonstration. For someone who only had opposable thumbs for less than two days, he was surprisingly dexterous. Seemed like he could do a lot with his hands. No. Stop that. Stop being weird.
“Are you a genius?”
Yoongi didn’t hesitate, not looking up.
“Of course.”
You regretted asking. He continued, oblivious to your annoyed expression.
“I’m a cat.”
“All cats are geniuses?” you retorted disbelievingly.
“Most of them are.” His eyes flickered to you, eyebrows raising. “Compared to humans anyway.”
Was this a dig at you and your missing brain cells after running into things chasing after him and your brain exploding at his hotness? Which he wasn’t, by the way. Yeah, that’s right. Take that, Min Yoongi! You’re being mean, so therefore your attractiveness points are going down in this brain, yes, they are and there’s nothing you can do about it, yup, absolutely NOTHING–
He held up the pants, showing off his handiwork.
“Did I do a good job?”
His voice was soft, unsure, head slightly tilted, velvety ears eagerly perked to listen to your response.
Oh no.
Oh nooo.
Oh nooooooo.
He’s cute.
“Yeah. That looks amazing, Yoongi,” you heard yourself saying, smiling at him.
His fair-skinned cheeks flushed pink, lowering the pants quickly to snip the excess thread off, placing the needle in the cat-shaped pincushion like you had done earlier so he could carefully tie a knot to seal his hard work.
Shit.
You were whipped for him.
Damnnit.
To be honest, nothing had changed. You were whipped for him as a cat too.
“I’m going to clear out some space the closet so you have somewhere to put your clothes, okay?”
“A-ah… Thanks…” he mumbled, picking up another pair of pants. Jeans this time.
“Oh, with these you can simply cut the hole. No need to sew because this type of fabric won’t fray too much. Ah, but not directly on the seam. Maybe here?” You pointed slightly to the right of the back middle seam. Your mouth kept talking despite not having any more instructions for him. “Did you know the butt rip was fashionable among women for a little while? Under the pocket though, not the center. That’s just weird.”
Yoongi tilted his head the other way.
“Women are weird,” he said in a deadpan voice.
You narrowed your eyes. “Oi.”
He picked up the scissors, raising an eyebrow at you. “Are you not weird?”
You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He’s got you there. Shit. You puffed your cheeks and turned around, stalking off to your bedroom. Why was he always right? One day, he won’t be right and you’ll mark it on your fucking calendar. Humph.
You slowed at your doorframe, remembering his sheepishly proud face as he showed off his sewing. Crap. What was Min Yoongi so cute for? And how were you supposed to look at other guys after knowing your cat (man) was so damn adorable? And observant and diligent? And driven to be independent, asking questions and trying to do things on his own not even forty-eight hours after becoming human? Cooking, sewing, folding his own clothes… what’s next, playing the fucking piano?
Yeah, right.
You snorted and went into your bedroom.
-
“What’s this?”
You looked up, half-buried in idol merchandise you didn’t even know you had. How long had these sweatshirts been sitting here in their plastic packages? And these posters left in the tubes at the back of your closet? You shouldn’t own so much stuff. You should sell it. You weren’t going to, because these were limited edition items and you would have to be crazy to sell stuff with the cute faces of your favorite idols. You stuck you head out of the closet to see what Yoongi was referring to.
“What? Oh, that?”
You wheezed in embarrassment, ducking back in the closet, pretending to be busy.
“Uh… so… YouTube and Twitch had a crackdown on using copyrighted music and I thought, well, maybe I could maybe make my own, so I brought a keyboard but, uh…”
You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, trying to figure out how to say you had no musical inclination and only had the ability to appreciate it.
“Basically, I got no jams.”
The keyboard was still in its box. You had opened it and attempted to learn piano, but well, you were shit. Also, you gave up pretty quickly. It was embarrassing considering you had spent so much money on it and were all confident when buying it, only for it to become a hidden occupant in the back of your closet. This was before Shooky – er, Yoongi – had come into your life. Yes. It had been there for literal years.
“I was going to donate it,” you added with a sigh.
You suddenly noticed something out of the corner of your eye. You frowned and reached in, grabbing the thin, hard object before pulling it out.
A…
Skeleton in your closet.
A long-lost Halloween decoration? Why was this here?
“Can I have it?”
You looked up, holding the mysterious plastic skeleton like a small child. “What?”
Yoongi pointed to the keyboard box, black tail swishing rapidly. There was a liveliness in his dark brown eyes and his pointed ears were sticking straight up. You narrowed your eyes.
“You don’t want that skinny box for some reason, do you?” you accused.
He pursed his lips at you, scowling. “No, you can throw away the box. I want to keep the keyboard.”
Huh? “Uh… okay, I guess. More space in the closet, I suppose. Oh, wait…” You stumbled into the back of the closet, feeling around. “I brought a stand for it, hold on… fuck!” You jammed your finger against a metal pole and howled, quickly retreating your hand to massage it. Fuck, that hurt! Scowling, you reached back in to grab the metal keyboard stand and yank it out from between your tightly packed clothes.
“Are you dead?”
“Shit!”
You jumped nearly ten feet, almost banging your head on the clothing rail if it wasn’t for Yoongi’s swift movement of grabbing your shoulders, pulling you to him. He didn’t have to pull far, because he was right behind you. How did he always sneak up on you when he wore a damn bell around his neck that announced his presence? Sorcery. Aliens. Voodoo witchcraft. Now you were convinced these things existed.
(Your cat turning into a man wasn’t enough for you to believe in magic? What’s wrong with you?)
“You’re really clumsy,” Yoongi remarked.
No, you’re spooky, you thought. One of your hands was on his chest. Instant heart palpitations. And handsome. Crap.
“Are you going to do something weird again?”
Weird? You were never weird. What was this man going on about? You needed to reprimand him. Put him in his place! Enough is enough, Min Yoongi! You can’t win over me every time! You raised your head to face him, opening your mouth to give him a piece of your mind.
Yoongi was centimeters away from your face.
You froze.
Ice effect overlapping your whole body.
You dropped the keyboard stand.
Thankfully, it simply fell against your clothing, leaning against your sweatshirts. It stayed upright, held up by the clothing. You didn’t have to worry about it for the time being. It was perfectly fine, unlike you. You were not fine. Not fine at all, staring at Yoongi’s upturned upper lip and unreadable dark brown eyes, slowly blinking at you. Hands on your shoulders, holding you close to him.
Not letting go.
!!!
-
Jeon Jungkook placed his phone on his desk and chopped the air, threatening it.
It wasn’t sentient.
He still didn’t trust it.
He glared at his phone angrily and shuffled back to his bed to have a nice, calm rest that didn’t involve his nuts getting destroyed. Ugh. He was bored. He had plenty to do. Schoolwork. Studying. Cleaning his room covered in clothes. Attempting to cook.
Jungkook made a face at the ceiling.
The last time he tried to cook some glazed sweet potatoes they had been glued to the plate somehow. A neat magic trick, but not edible. He couldn’t get them to unstick, much less be eaten. He had to order out that night. Come to think of it, he spent most of his money on ordering out. Maybe that was a bad habit.
He ran a hand through his bleached, blond hair that had too much toner in it so it had turned slightly silvery-purple. An at-home experiment. Another bad habit.
Jungkook groaned, rolling onto his face.
“I need someone older to take care of me,” he mumbled into the sheets.
Someone older… with a certain tuxedo cat, perhaps? He pouted even though no one was there to witness his cuteness.
“Ahhhhhhh…”
He yelled quietly into his bedding, letting go.
Finally thinking about you.
In front of you, he could tease. He could poke fun. It was easy. You were just so flustered around him, not really trying to hide your attraction to him. The first time he had met you was when he went bowling with Seokjin-hyung (he won, much to the disdain of his hyung). You had stopped by to say hello and Seokjin had introduced you two. It had been a fairly innocent meeting, mostly because for a long time Jungkook couldn’t open his mouth to say anything at all. You were wearing a huge white t-shirt with a colorful strawberry graphic, a wide-brimmed straw hat, and white sneakers with black laces. It had been a hot summer day, he remembered. You were already pretty simply by standing there, chatting animatedly with his hyung. Jungkook tried not to look too closely, sneaking glances in between your conversation.
Seokjin had absolutely no qualms about shitting on your outfit.
“Yah, grandma, you’re off to pick some strawberries in the field or something?”
You had shoved him, rolling your eyes. “You’re a grandpa too! Look at you, losing to kid.”
Was that referring to him? “Ah, I’m not a kid.” Shit. His Busan dialect slipped out a little in his nervousness, deepening his voice.
Your cheeks had peppered pink. “A-ah… right…”
Oh?
Oh!
Oh!!!
You shook your head abruptly and reached into your tuxedo-cat-printed tote bag. “Here’s your freaking hard drive, you monkey,” you had said to Seokjin, handing over the small paper bag.
“Did you manage to restore all my files?” Seokjin asked worriedly, completely ignoring your insult.
You shrugged, looking rueful. “I don’t know how many you had, but I did the best I could.” You leaned forward, eyes narrowing, whispering in his ear. Didn’t matter. Jungkook was close enough to hear.
“Stop downloading porn!”
Jungkook snorted.
Seokjin glared at you. “Excuse me, I am living a healthy lifestyle, do not judge me!” he hissed. “And not in front of the child!”
Yeah, well, Jungkook didn’t let you think he was a child for long.
He wasn't really sure why he was attracted to you. It wasn't only because you were pretty. He just had a strong urge to get a reaction out of you. Ah, maybe that was it. He liked seeing your reactions to things and did everything he could to get more and more interesting reactions out of you. You never told Jungkook to stop. You told Seokjin to stop all the time.
"I swear if you make one more pun, I'm going to tie your tongue into a knot!"
"Then I'd really be tongue-tied, eh? Eh?! WAIT, NO, WATCH THE FACE, NOT MY FACE!!!"
Jungkook couldn't help himself. He had to mess with you.
Fuck.
(Yes, actually.)
He couldn't stop. It was too fun. It didn't help that you had a cute surprised face. Didn't help that you had a great smile. Didn’t help that you had an amazing body under your clothes and knew exactly how to use it (Jungkook wouldn’t admit it, but he learned a lot from you). Didn't help that you would chase after your tuxedo cat and scoop up that furball even after getting railed by him, which Jungkook found very impressive.
"Shooky, you loon, I told you to stop running on the counters..."
And you would cradle that cat to your chest, petting his head and waiting for him to purr and lick your nose before releasing him, satisfied that he was no longer going to be a menace. He still was though. He was a cat. You forgave Shooky every time.
Just like how you let Jungkook get away with everything.
Present Jungkook frowned, rolling onto his back, frowning at the ceiling. Maybe you thought he was a fuckboy and had a negative image of him. He scratched his head, tongue in cheek, thinking hard. No. You didn't seem like the type. You were never angry at him, not really, not even when he interrupted your work to mess around in bed. Exasperated, maybe, but it never seemed like you were holding an internal grudge or upset at his nonchalant actions. Ah, but he hadn’t tried to talk to you in almost a whole year. Would you think he was a dick if he tried to contact you now? He couldn’t ask you. He couldn’t ask your best friend. Seokjin-hyung still had no idea.
Jungkook laughed to himself.
He kind of went behind his hyung's back, whoops.
He looked to his left side, the side you used to fall asleep on when he spent the night. He could imagine it, your past self and his past self, your hair on your pillow, blankets loosely over your chest, his hand on your breasts as you slept.
A pair of mint-green eyes glaring at him from the left side of your body.
Jungkook remembered poking that pink nose with his index finger, the rest of his hand still on your tits. The tuxedo cat had given him a very displeased look.
"Are you mad?"
The cat didn't reply. He was a cat.
"You're really lucky. You get to be with her every day," Jungkook had whispered, not wanting to wake you up. "She takes good care of you, you know. I see how much she loves you."
The cat closed his eyes, resting his furry head on your arm.
"Do you love her back?"
Maybe. Maybe not. Jungkook didn't know. He wasn't a cat. He couldn't ask in cat language. He let go of your breasts for a second to scratch the top of Shooky's head, right between those velvety ears. He began purring like a little motor.
You continued your adventures in la la land, oblivious to this interaction.
"I guess cats are kind of simple, huh?" Jungkook mused, smoothing out the black fur on top of that little head. "You don't have to think about much. You don't have to get a job, plan for the future, or worry about being a good husband."
His hand lowered.
"But I do."
You breathed softly against him, nuzzling closer to his body. Jungkook put his hand back on your breasts and you stilled, lost in your dreams. He breathed out, warmth against your skin. He saw the side of your lips twitch ever so slightly upwards, but maybe it was only his imagination wishing to see what he wanted.
Only a wish.
He had placed his nose by your cheek and breathed in, losing himself in dreams as well.
-
Yoongi looked into your eyes.
Then both of you turned to opposite sides and sneezed loudly.
"Fuck–"
"That was horrible," Yoongi hissed, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and backing up. "Ugh, human bodies are awful."
You shook your head roughly. "Someone must be thinking about me... and you, I guess..." you mumbled, clearing your head before prodding him in the chest. "Also, last time I checked, now you're human too, so jokes on you. Hope you enjoy the suffering!" You stuck your tongue out childishly.
Yoongi gave you an annoyed look, reaching over you to grab the keyboard stand. You stiffened at his closeness, but he quickly withdrew, taking the metal stand and leaving you disappointed, but not surprised. Couldn't even pretend to be shocked.
He lifted it up so it wouldn’t drag on the floor and began to walk out of the room, ignoring you.
Classic.
You thinned your mouth into a line and picked up the white plastic skeleton. What to do with this? Fuck it. Back into the closet it goes, along with your winter wardrobe, summer wardrobe, and other knickknacks.
Well.
Maybe you could donate a couple things to charity.
Like this Chinese finger trap. Why was this here?
You stuck your fingers in it.
S... shit!
Yoongi reappeared to grab the keyboard. You opened your mouth, about to ask for help, looking up to see your cat-man standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, glaring. Very displeased and disapproving, reminding you a whole lot of a certain tuxedo fluffball.
"I'll say it again."
Huh? You gave him a confused look.
He pointed to his pointed, velvety black ears.
"I'm a cat, duh."
And then he walked out. Fuck him. You didn't need his help.
-
You couldn’t get it off.
Panik!
Yes, you can. It was just a finger trap. You were smart. You graduated university. You had been a human for many more years than Min Yoongi. He had been human for two days! And besides, Yoongi was mean. You didn’t need a meanie to help you. You were a strong, independent woman who didn’t need no (cat) man.
Kalm.
You…
You…
You couldn’t get it off!!!
PANIK!!!!!!!
-
“… What are you doing?”
You were the epitome of the emoji holding back tears.
“Y… Yoongi…” you whined.
He blinked at you, holding the manual of the keyboard upside down. The keyboard was already set up on the stand, pushed up against one of the walls of your living room. He was using the cardboard box that his clothes came in – he really loved that damn box – as a makeshift seat.
“Are you dying?”
You held up your hands, pouting. The bronze dragon Chinese finger trap was still stuck on your index fingers. It had been roughly twenty, maybe thirty minutes.
Your cat-man just blinked at you and it.
“I… can’t get it off… Help…”
He raised an eyebrow and put the manual on the keyboard before walking over to you. He placed his chin in between his index finger and his thumb, frowning. Looking this way and that. The realization was slowly kicking in.
Yoongi wasn’t hiding his smirk very well.
“You know how to take it off!” you howled, smacking him in the chest.
He cackled, backing up as you repeatedly whacked him with the back of your hands, furious because it was obvious that he knew what to do and was simply not doing it to piss you off, his grin getting wider and wider, still not saying anything, this little shit, backing up into your living room as you chased him, stupid cat-man was fucking fast, dodging you easily, your joined hands and annoyed demeanor making you a bit wobbly.
“Min Yoongi, I swear I’ll–”
“You’ll what?” he teased, raising his hands in mock innocence. “Maybe I don’t know?”
You scowled at him. “You definitely know.”
He smirked.
Shit.
It was sexy and you were supposed to be mad!
You were next to the keyboard now. And a certain something. Hm. You jerked your head to the cardboard box. His eyes widened.
“You wouldn’t do such a thing.”
“I would.”
“You wouldn’t, you heathen.”
“You better fucking believe I would!”
(You’re threatening to recycle a cardboard box to force your cat-man to get you out of a metal finger trap that you put yourself in. Um, are you okay? Better yet, are both of you okay???)
He marched over to you, relenting with an angry huff, yanking up your hands.
“There’s a trick to it, of course.”
He pressed the dragon’s horns in tandem with the dragon’s beard on either side and the trap released your red fingers, making you gasp at the sudden freedom. Holy shit. You stared at your freed index fingers. You had two hands. Wow. Amazing. Show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique…
Yoongi placed the finger trap on the coffee table.
“Hmph. This thing is probably only worth three dollars.”
You poked your index fingers together, suddenly ashamed. “Sorry I threatened your box.”
Yoongi grunted, cat ears flicking back and forth in annoyance.
You poked his stomach with your index fingers. “Er… I just… wanted you to help me...”
“You weren’t going to do it anyway.”
You puffed your cheeks, narrowing your eyes, irritation flaring back. “Well, maybe I was! What were you going to do, leave me like that, unable to use my hands for the rest of my life?” You jabbed him repeatedly in the chest, driving your point home in between your snappish words. “Hmm? I need hands to do things! Important things!”
Yoongi suddenly grabbed your wrists and held them up over your head.
(Aw shit, here we go again.)
“Y-Yoongi?!”
He raised an eyebrow at you.
“What important things do you need to do with your hands?” he asked.
Oh shit.
Oh no.
Why was his vice suddenly so deep? Did he even know???
Your eyes widened, brain malfunctioning, your last two working brain cells rushing to the library to find the book titled ‘things you can do with your hands’, opening it, reading, handsy things. That was it. That was all you had at this moment. Why was it that your brain had the memory equal to the RAM of a fucking Tamagotchi every time your cat-man touched you?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, because he was a cat literally two days ago and you never thought about fucking your cat because that’s just fucking weird, but now he’s a man, so maybe it’s okay, unless it’s not, and then what does that make you? FUCKING WEIRD, THAT’S WHAT.
You yelped as your back collided to the wall. When had you walked that far? What was going on? What was life??? You were yanked back to reality as Yoongi leaned down, tilting his head, eyebrow still cocked, dark eyes darker from his fluffy black hair falling over his eyes.
“I hear you don’t always like being able to use your hands.”
Holyfuckingshitcrap.
Instantly, your cheerful brain decided to play the memory of you begging Jeon Jungkook to hold down your wrists so you couldn’t stop him and his relentless assault on your pussy, one hand grasping both your wrists and the other rubbing two fingers on your clit, thrusting his hard cock in and out of you as he abused the sensitive bundle of nerves, pinning you to your bed, panting in your face.
“You like this, noona?” Jungkook had purred.
(Respectfully.)
Voice low, deep, and sexy, driving you insane, waves of pleasure crashing into you over and over, pussy throbbing with repeated orgasm.
“F-Fuck, yes, oh fuck, Jungkook, yes… don’t s-stooop…”
Shooky had sat on the highest level of his cat tree, glaring down at you two.
Shit, shit, shit…
Yoongi leaned in even more, eyes disappearing, lips next to your ear. You felt him transfer one of your wrists to his other hand, now holding both with one hand as the other fell against your body.
“In fact, I’ve seen it firsthand,” he whispered, low, soft, dangerous.
Your brain ended the film reel in your head, giving you two mental thumbs-up and beaming happily at you as if it had done a great thing.
No, brain.
You’ve fucked me over and now I’m horny as fuck!
A needy whimper popped out of you as Yoongi’s free hand slipped between your bodies, fingers dancing deftly across the fabric of your sweatshirt, following the rhythm of your racing heart as it went down, down, too fast, sanity unable to keep up, you rising into his touch, his fingers sliding underneath the waistband of your leggings. This pair wasn’t as tight as the previous pair, but the fabric still clung to your skin just as tightly.
Wait. Is that you? Moaning?
(Yes.)
He dragged them down your hips, having to let go of the waistband for a moment to push them past the sides before resuming, you moaning in the space where he should have a human ear, but he didn’t, because Yoongi was a cat-man and his pointed furry ears were at the top of his head.
“Y… Yoongi…”
“Hm?”
His soft lips lightly pressed against your ear and you shivered. His grip on your wrists wasn’t very tight. You could break out any time. He was only loosely holding you.
“I… I am…” you quivered, voice shaking.
“I want to make you feel good.”
His murmur was so gentle, so calm, so quiet that it almost didn’t feel real. Almost a purr.
“Do you want me to make you feel good?”
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
“Yes.”
You said it.
Your panties were leaving with your leggings, shoved down mid-thigh. Your name in your ear, spoken by Min Yoongi, his body hovering over yours, black hair against your cheek, his fingers slipping between your legs, your heart slamming in your chest, thighs squeezing his hand.
“Feels nice here,” Yoongi mumbled, breath feathering on your skin. A single finger grazed your wetness and you gasped, his raspy chuckle in your ear. “Wet.”
Your eye twitched, slightly annoyed. No, really? Thanks for letting me know, it’s not like I can fucking feel it myself or anything, I absolutely need your riveting play-by-play–
“Urk!”
Yoongi scooped two fingers into your pussy and felt around inside, rubbing his fingertips against your throbbing walls.
“Ah…” He was breathing hard, pushing them in joint by joint, his own inhale shallowing. “Fuck, it’s so tight in here, are you alright?”
Oh, my fucking God, Yoongi, just fucking destroy me, I’m not a virgin!
You sucked in a shaking breath, mentally beating your inner thot back down. “F-Feels really nice, Yoongi… just… a little more…” He sank his fingers all the way to the knuckles. “Fuuuck, yes, oh, fuck yes…”
You rocked your hips into it, moaning, eyes closing, building up a pace, not really waiting for him to figure out that he could move his fingers too. It didn’t matter though, because Yoongi was highly observant and diligent, and, as much as you avoided to admit it, he had seen you get fingered hundreds of times, all over the apartment, in all sorts of embarrassing positions and with plenty of visible, graphic, high-definition detail, better than any porn video.
By – yup, you guessed it – Jeon Jungkook.
Yoongi began his own pace to match yours, thrusting his two fingers in and out until you were a hopeless mess, whining and bucking against his touch, your juices coating his hand, staring up at the ceiling with the tips of his black ears in your peripheral vision, tilted towards you to listen to every single one of your sounds. His heavy exhale invaded your head, lost in Yoongi’s rhythm that was uniquely his, only able to cry out, harder or faster, losing yourself in him, his scent, the smell of your vanilla body wash, and the rapidly strengthening sweetness between your legs rising up despite it dripping down your thighs.
“Yoongi… oh, fuck, Yoongi…”
It just felt too good, speed, strength, sound, wet messy squelches of his fingers entering you over and over, your pussy responding in kind, shuddering around them, clenching tight, hips rocking into every plunge to deepen the stroke, prolonging your own orgasm, savoring the moment.
“You feel so good…”
That wasn’t you.
That was Yoongi.
Whispering in your ear, probably not even realizing his own dirty talk.
“So fucking wet and warm,” he murmured, the rumble purring in his chest, soothing but also far too sexy. “Sucking my fingers back in, fucking me back… You really like me this much?” His lips brushed your ear, chaste kisses compared to the rough fingering of his slippery digits pushing into you repeatedly, the sounds getting louder and lewder because you were getting wetter and wetter. “Am I really that good-looking to you?”
Yoongi, are you BLIND, DEAF, or BOTH???
“Fuck yes, you are, what the fuck?” you gasped out, turning your head slightly, one of his dark brown eyes locking with yours, your jaw clenched with the effort of you holding back your orgasm to respond to his ludicrous question. “You are so fucking handsome I couldn’t even last two days of being in your presence, thirsting after you!”
You heard Yoongi chuckle, the sound resonating and teasing your ear.
“Actually, you couldn’t even last one, remember?” he drawled slyly.
His knuckle grazed your throbbing, aroused clit.
“Fuck!”
Your body twisted, whining wail torn out of you as you came, pushing your head and hands against the wall, nerves sparking and shaking, intense pleasure flooding all over your senses from holding back, breathless whimpers of Yoongi’s name, grinding into his hand. He let go of your wrists. They prickled with pins and needles of lost circulation, but you didn’t give a shit, grabbing his hand between your legs and shoving it back in you before it could retreat, riding out your orgasm, milking it for every single gram of ecstasy, cherishing every single second of another’s hand inside you, not just another but your disturbingly attractive man who was previously a cat sleeping in your lap exactly forty-eight hours ago as you innocently watched American Horror Story.
“Y… Yoongi?” you panted, orgasm petering out, trickling waves subsiding.
“Y… Yes?”
He wasn’t making fun of you. You could hear the nervousness in his voice.
“Can I kiss you?”
His face appeared in front of yours.
“Yes.”
You didn’t think twice.
You closed your eyes and leaned forward, lips on his, your satisfied sigh tickling his skin, kissing him hard, the intimacy you desired for so long, moments you spent all year trying to keep it at bay, no one to show your affection but tiny kisses on Shooky’s furry head, but now one of your hands was cupping Yoongi’s cheek, deepening the kiss, him pressing back against you, sandwiching you between the wall and himself. You let go of his hand between your legs and held both his cheeks, peppering light pecks against that lovely mouth. You wanted to kiss him over and over, so nice, so lovely, his barely-there gasps drifting on your lips with every kiss.
His fingers slipped out and touched your thigh.
You drew back, heart thudding, still holding his face, his round cheeks a little squished in your hands.
He raised his hand and put his pussy-soaked fingers in his mouth.
You jerked your hands back. “Y-Yoongi!” you exclaimed, shocked.
His pink tongue slipped around his fingers, tiny kitten licks to slurp it all up. He hummed, small smirk playing on his lips. You gawked at him.
“Y-You don’t have to–”
“You like it, don’t you?”
You shut your mouth, cheeks burning with heat.
Yoongi smirked wider, nimble tongue slipping around and around, your eyes glued to the movement, brain already dreaming up lecherous scenarios. His dark brown eyes flickered to you, eyebrows rising.
“Hmm…”
“W-What?” you snapped, trying to collect yourself. He was giving you that look again. That enigmatic expression of maybe-maybe-not. Yoongi shrugged, taking his fingers out of his mouth.
“I think we should do that again sometime.”
Your mind went blank.
Again? Now? Later?
Next Tuesday?
WHEN, MIN YOONGI, WHEN?
“… Urk?”
Those cunning dark brown orbs sparkled with mischief. “Hmm, then again, maybe we’ll do something different next time,” he pondered out loud, taunting you with the suggestive depth of his voice. He backed up, tail swaying from side to side, his grin widening, turning into an open-mouthed smirk that showed off his pretty teeth and devious expression.
His next words were the verbal equivalent of pushing your full glass of brainpower right off the table and sending it crashing to the floor.
“I have a lot of things I want to try.”
-
part v
--
masterpost
#yoongi x reader#jungkook x reader#bts smut#bts fanfic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi x you#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x you#jungkook smut#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x you
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library of faults (RWBYDUB AU)
set in RWBYDUB AU, which is if rwby rock was abt bedroom producers and DJs and electronic music instead. blake uses they/them pronouns don't fuck it up.
_
"You know, I used to think my dad had the best record collection this side of Vale," Yang says as she watches Blake pull boxes of records out from their shelves, all packed so tightly together as to not jostle at all, "but damn, you put him to shame."
"Buying vinyls was cheaper, at the time," Blake admits, although they jab a thumb at one particularly old looking set, with their dusty jackets and faded print. "Or, uh, I stole them. From my parents, I mean. Don't know if they ever noticed, but..."
Each box is organised alphabetically and by genre; Blake's collection of jazz--ranging from bebop to more modern jazz-fusion--is extensive, but it's only superseded by dancehall favourites, more suited for a party crowd than easy listeners. Some of the records are so old and so loved that their sleeves are either crumbling into nothing or are missing entirely, replaced by plastic covers marked up in permanent ink with the name of the artist written in bold, the RPM underlined thrice over. If anything's clear, Blake's taken real good care of them all at best they could.
"Cheaper, huh?" Yang muses aloud, neatly stepping over the topic of their parents--an awkward thing to talk about at best and downright painful at worst. "Let me guess: you were such a hipster you spun vinyls before it was even cool, right?"
Blake rolls their eyes, flipping through their records with familiar ease. They're looking for a specific track to sample, and despite Yang's insistence they could just buy a digital version to work from, Blake is, and always will be, a big believer in not paying twice for something you already own. "It wasn't because I was a hipster, idiot, it was because you could buy like ten vinyls for fifty Lien when I was a teenager. I would go to antique stores or dig through the bargain buckets at charity stores and take as many as I could carry. Then I'd go wherever home was and play them on just the world's shittiest set of fourth-hand decks and chop up samples onto a laptop that got so hot I could cook eggs on it." They pause their search, and wrinkle up their nose. "That's not hyperbole, either."
Reaching the end of the current box, Blake accepts that what they're looking for isn't inside this particular one, closing the latches of the lid with a pair of solid thunks. Sure would help to remember the artist at the very least, but c'est la vie.
"At least you were making stuff as a kid," Yang points out, settling herself down next to Blake on the carpet. "I didn't take doing music seriously at all until Ruby started really pumping out tracks and she asked me to help out. I'm starting to regret all the years I wasted not practising my rudiments."
"That implies I made anything half-decent," Blake points out as they open crate number two: H--L. "Most songs I made back then were born at seven in the morning after DJing for the better part of twelve hours straight and still drunk on free beers I was too young for."
Yang just looks impressed, which isn't quite the message Blake was trying to impart. "Yeah, but that's what I would've rather been doing at... what, sixteen?"
"Fifteen, actually," Blake mumbles. "Travelling across Mistral playing for whatever illegal rave would have me."
Yang's eyebrows almost touch the brim of her snapback, and for a second she sort of looks Blake up and down like she can't quite believe that Blake--who wears button-ups and dark slacks and looks almost every bit like a pretentious jazz student when they've got their glasses on--would ever be doing something like underage drinking in a condemned warehouse in the south of Mistral as they blasted music through a DIY soundsystem until there were alleged noise complaints up to ten miles away, but, hey. The truth is weird sometimes.
"Gods," Yang says after a moment. "You are so cool. Like, don't get me wrong; that can't have been, like, good for you. But also--"
"It wasn't," Blake cuts in, and then they give Yang a wry smile. "But thanks for liking my mental illnesses anyway."
#my writing#rwbydub au#something real quick now that its on my mind oeudhioeudh#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#this isnt bb so dont tag it that oeudihoue
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During a fight, a beanie baby is accidentally destroyed and megatron has a full on funeral with all the effects for it and forces everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, to come pay mandatory respects.
"mandatory respects"
r.i.p.
this is a sequel to cheep: the sequel's debut in battle
PROXIMITY ALERT, PROXIMITY ALERT
All of the Autobots lift their helms at the sound of a robotic voice shouting the proximity alarm. Ratchet runs to his desk and frantically opens up the outside security cameras.
"Whaddya see?" Bulkhead asks. "Is it another jackrabbit?"
"Oh, hopefully not another one of those organic pests," Ratchet scoffs. He zooms in on a nearby mesa. "Wait. Wait. Oh, Primus. It is a pest."
The distant silhouettes of Megatron and the other Decepticons are clearly visibly gathered together not too far away on the other mesa.
"Autobots," Optimus rumbles, "I knew a day would come when our secret hideaway would be discovered and attacked. We will defend our base and Jasper to the best of our ability. We stood strong during many battles before--"
"He's Facebook livestreaming!" Bumblebee gasps.
Ratchet frowns and minimizes his Solitaire in order to reveal the stream on his computer. The Autobots all blink at the sight that greets them.
All, and I mean all, of the Decepticons are gathered around in a circle. The chat is spamming "F." They are all looking down at something out of frame on the ground below.
The camera is being held in the talons of Starscream. Everybody can tell it's him holding it because the tip of a blurry talon is in the camera corner.
Megatron steps forward. He is painted entirely in black. "my decepticons. today we grieve for this lost soldier of the Decepticon cause."
A tiny printed picture of a Beanie Baby is laid out on a pyre of logs, flowers, energon cubes, and bird seeds. Other Beanie Babies are ringed around it.
"Oh, Christ," Bumblebee beeps.
"cheep, my second-in-command, did not die in vain," Megatron sighs.
Ratchet throws his arms into the air. "What? What?! I thought Starscream was second-in-command?"
Arcee's jaw drops. "Screamer got replaced by a plush bird."
"No, no no, I saw this live." Bumblebee steps in. "The first Cheep was lost over Ohio, the one Starscream held at gunpoint."
Arcee sighs. "So they're grieving that Cheep?"
"This is Cheep: The Sequel we're grieving."
"Wha--"
Somber music begins playing. Breakdown is holding a speaker playing a sad song. He leans over and whispers to Knock Out.
"Babe. Who the hell is this funeral for?"
Knock Out shrugs. "Megatron's chick."
Megatron chokes back a sob. "she was so callously murdered by the cruel and vicious bird-hating optimus prime!"
All of the Autobots look behind themselves at Optimus. He holds both his servos up palms-out. "I did not lay a finger upon that plush bird."
Ratchet spins around. "Optimus," he scowls, "Be honest. Did you or did you not murder that Beanie Baby?"
"I have committed no such sin, old friend."
"Then why does Megatron think you did?!"
"I do not know. He thinks many things."
Bulkhead shuffles up. "Did you really kidnap Cheep?"
"I have kidnapped no Beanie Babies, Bulkhead," Optimus's voice rumbles.
Arcee pats Optimus down. "Whew. He's clear."
Ratchet slams both his fists agains the desk. "Damnit! Who took Megatron's creepy bird-pet-thing?! Someone did!"
Everybody looks at the floor.
"...Ratchet," Optimus says softly. "It is okay if you wanted the bird."
Ratchet gasps and stumbles back. The desk's contents fall everywhere. "To think that after all we've been through?! You dare a-accuse me of wanting in on Megatron's birdie play-pretend?"
"I just get the sense that you would appreciate an avian source of companionship--"
"It's not even a real fucking bird!"
"It is okay to admit that you like to imagine that it's real--"
"To think that I paused my Solitaire for this!" Ratchet rumbles. "Bumblebee?" Ratchet asks softly. "Did you--"
"I am innocent! I have an alibi!"
"Ohhhh?" Ratchet raises an orbital ridge. "And what is your alibi?"
"I was playing Solitaire against you! You think I want his stupid bird? He probably, I don't know, uh, sleeps with it or something!"
Bulkhead raises his servo. "He actually does. I saw him do so. Creepy as hell."
Broken sobs echo out of the computers as Megatron fires his fusion cannon at the pyre in his grief. "CHEEEEEEEEEEP"
Bulkhead clears his intake and then mumbles into the crook of his elbow. "Arcee looks kinda shifty."
She gasps. "'Shifty?!' Why would I want to kidnap Megatron's stupid bird in the first place?!"
Ratchet rolls his optics. "Jealousy. Pride--
"--what--"
"--envy, perhaps? Hmm."
"You think I'm envious of Megatron for having a Beanie Baby that I don't have?"
"Well, I dunno," Bulkhead shrugs. "I never said you were jealous of him for having a Beanie Baby that you don't. You said all that. Just now, in fact."
"Oh!" Arcee says. "You implied it!"
"Oh, sureeee, mhmm-hmmm," Bulkhead hums as he sips on his energon.
She scowls and points at Bulkhead's smug faceplate. "I did not kidnap that Beanie Baby! But I wish I did!"
Megatron's wavering voice echoes through the computer. "she lived! she died! now she shall be laid to rest!" Silence falls and the wind blows. Megatron then abruptly shatters the silence by suddenly lifting his voice in song. He begins gyrating.
Somebody on the mezzanine clears his throat. Fowler, June, and the children step into view.
Ratchet gasps. "Fowler! Does the U.S. government have Cheep?!"
He pinches the bridge of his nose. "No. Just. No."
"Do you have Cheep?!"
"No!"
"Damnit! I am sick of this stream, I am sick of Beanie Babies, and I am sick to my gut all because of Cheep!"
More crying echoes over the stream. "CHEEEEEEEEEEP"
"I don't have the bird," Fowler grits out.
"birddd thiefff" Bulkhead whispers.
Ratchet rolls his shoulders back. "Remove the children, June Darby. This is getting too intense. Wait. Jack, did you take Cheep?"
Jack stares blankly.
"Jack, Megatron might attack a small nation again if he does not find that bird!"
Jack smacks his lips and considers the situation. "what's a bird"
"Gah! Your son is guilty of bird thievery, June!"
June moves in front of Jack. "What?! He hasn't stolen any birds in so long now! It wasn't him! Jack, that's right, isn't it?"
His eyes glaze over.
Megatron's voice cries out again."CHEEPCHEEPCHEEPCHEEP"
"birddd thiefff" Bulkhead whispers again.
Optimus puts both his arms out. "Calm yourselves, Autobots. We have endured many troubles and trials and will survive this. We survived the death of Cybertron, Megatron's attempted undead invasion, the loss of Cliffjumper, the synth-en crisis, and we will. Survive. Cheep."
Megatron shakes his fist at the sky. "i know you are listening, prime! i bet you're cackling over seizing the life of a fine avian soldier! i will make you suffer for the loss of cheep! it is the only explanation as to why she vanished after i took her into battle with me. she was with me. then after our duel: she was gone"
Ratchet begins cackling.
Bulkhead clears his throat. "Uh. Does... does he not know that we're nearby?"
"Oh my Primus," Arcee gasps. "He's got no clue."
Ratchet snorts and closes out of his Solitaire. "Oh, this is getting good."
Bumblebee gasps. "Someone just died! Show some respects!"
"Wha--Bumblebee, it's a plushie!"
Megatron sighs. "i shall grieve for you, oh cheep--wait."
Something falls out of his armor.
It's Cheep.
"oh my god. holy shit." Megatron gasps. He clutches his chestplates. "i just lost you in my armor! cheep lives! cheep lives! everybody say it with me! cheep lives!"
A fake smile spreads across Starscream's faceplate. "Welcome back, Commander."
The new Cheep stares blankly.
All of the Decepticons minus Soundwave sing in unison as Megatron picks Cheep up and lifts her up high and proud above all their helms.
The faint chants of cheep lives! cheep lives! cheep lives! echoes through the thick walls of the Autobot base.
Ratchet begins screaming.
Optimus walks down a hall and slips into a side-room.
He sighs.
And then pulls the real Cheep out of his windshield.
"Thank Primus he has multiple Cheep plushies. This eighteen-wheeler will keep you safe."
Cheep stares blankly.
#mcprime universe#megatron#starscream#soundwave#optimus prime#the plot thickens#starscream has plans for that beanie baby#also she can't die due to being fucking plush#oh so i can write like 1k of beanie baby fanfic but can't write down two words for unburied smh
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Prompt: “I wish he’d teach me how to play mine.”
I found ⬆️ as a random tag related to I don’t know what, and it just made me blush with all the mental images of things OC could be requesting Rob teach them how to play.
Character: Anybody but Roland and Ivan, cuz they’d be too easy and where’s the fun in that. Also, I hate the theramin. And 80s fashions.
* This is not my gif and I could not locate the gif maker for proper credit*
How to Play: Rob x Fem!Reader
Thank you for the request. Your requests are the best! :)
Warnings ⚠️ Public Smut, Food, Puns, Fluff
——————————————————————————
Rob had a penchant for quirky restaurants. Over the past few weeks he had already taken you to an Asian fusion bistro with live performing aerialists and a farm to table establishment that encouraged diners to help with a few farm chores before being seated at their table. This place was tame by comparison, merely specializing in themed soups.
There was a lull in the conversation and Rob started giggling.
“What is it?” His laughter was contagious.
“Listen,” he said leaning in.
“What, I don’t-“
“That’s the sound of fifty people trying not to slurp their soup.”
You smiled, noisily consuming your noodles in defiance.
“Enjoying the ‘PHOMO?’”
“It’s pretty good. How’s yours? What did you order again?”
“I’ve got ‘Won Ton Desire.’”
“These names. I swear.”
Rob continued to peruse the menu. “Tomatotally Awesome? Chick Send Nood(le)s?”
“Yeah, some of these are really stew-pid.”
“Are you proud of yourself for that one?”
“This restaurant was your idea, remember?”
“If you’d told me where we were going, I might have reconsidered.”
“Take Our Broth Away is the hottest spot in town right now. There’s a waitlist a mile long. I had to pull some strings.”
“I’m gonna pull your strings!,” you quipped back.
“Ooh, Please elaborate.” Rob smirked, resting his chin in his hands.
The waitress came up to your table. “I just wanted to check on you two. Enjoying your soup? Can I get you anything else? For dessert we have a lovely cold strawberry and fresh mint gazpacho.”
“We’ll take it! Two spoons, please.”
The dessert, essentially a fruit smoothie in a bowl, was heavenly, the best part of the meal. Your spoons clinked as you scuffled over the elegant portion.
“I heard you play the spoons. It’s like an Irish folk music thing, right?”
He narrowed his eyes at you, passing the silver utensil between his lips and pulling it out clean. “Bet you think I wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I know you would. I’m counting on it,” you teased.
Rob collected another spoon and licked that one clean as well. Then he stood up, rolled up his sleeves and put one leg up on the chair. This was getting serious.
He threaded the instruments between the fingers in his right hand. He slapped them rhythmically against his jeans, his dominant hand alternating between cupping them and gently tapping them together. It was an oddly pleasant sound and he looked hot as hell doing it. This man could make anything look sexy.
Other couples started checking out the strange music coming from your table. He couldn’t resist improvising a few cheeky song lyrics. His singing voice was average, but his charm could make a herd of stampeding buffalo stop and swoon.
Rob signed a few autographs and posed for a couple of selfies. After a while the fans dispersed, returning to their tables. Alone again, you settled back into your secluded table against the wall. “Well, now. That was entertaining.”
“I aim to please.”
“Mm. I wish you’d show me how to play.” You brushed your skirt away from your leg and parted your knees just enough to give him the message.
“We’re not talking about music anymore are we?” Rob leaned in and stroked the length of your bare thigh. You shook your head coyly. He cradled your face in his hand. Nuzzling your cheek into his palm, you stared up at him, your eyes posing a challenge.
Rob quickly adjusted the tablecloth to give you a few more inches of coverage on the side facing out. Then he brushed his hand over the little strip of cotton which held your forbidden fruit.
“Is this what you want?, he whispered.
“Ah...ha.” You inhaled nervously.
He hooked his finger under the fabric and rubbed his knuckle against your clit.
You bit your lip to suppress any sound from escaping. You were normally not this sensitive, but just the possibility of getting caught electrofied your senses. Every clink of plates and distant muffled voice raised the intensity. It was masterful the way he remained so poised above the table and angled your bodies so it just looked like an intimate conversation to the casual observer.
“The waitress could come round the corner any second with the check,” he said, slipping a finger inside you. You gripped his shoulder to steady yourself. He used his thumb to roll your clit in a slow and steady circle.
“Ahh.” Your head tilted back. Rob gently guided it back. “Look at me. Focus on me,” he said.
He held you in his green eyed gaze, encouraging you.
He added another finger and together they curled and flexed inside you, his thumb bearing down, relentlessly manipulating your swollen aching clit. You sat there helpless, a dribbling mess. “Oh fuck,” you whispered as the flood endorphins erupted from your core. You shuddered and sighed, clinging to Rob for stability.
“So, how are we doing?” The waitress returned. She noticed the overwhelmed look on your face. “Oh, hon are you okay?” You didn’t know what to say. You hid your face with your hands.
“She is just a little overwhelmed and I haven’t even gotten to the big surprise yet.” Rob winked at you.
“Oh, well, I’ll give you some privacy.” She smiled, probably assuming you were flustered by some big romantic gesture. She left the check, then disappeared. Rob paid for the meal, tipping generously.
“Nice cover, but now you’ve got me wanting another surprise.” You went in for a kiss.
“Oh but there is another surprise,” he assured you. “Now, let’s go home, so we can do the weird stuff.” You laughed. “Wait, you forgot your key,” he added, jingling the thing a few inches from your face.
“That’s not my...Oh. Rob, what did you do?”
“I got a little place. I’ve decided to stick around for a while.”
You lunged at him and threw your arms around his neck. It was a surprise, one you had been hoping for. You held the key triumphantly. “This night just keeps getting better. Now, tell me more about the weird stuff…”
@salvador-daley @super-unpredictable98 @bubblyani @helena-way07 @chipster-21 @punknatch @zombiedixon89 @ringpopdust
#rob x reader#robert sheehan x reader#robert sheehan fanfic#fic request#robert sheehan smut#Robert Sheehan request#funny Robert Sheehan fic#Robert Sheehan imagine
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