#listen i know its been literally 13 years. i know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months

Note

okok you can make this super fluffy or u can add smut if you’d like, i don’t have a preference. i also can literally see this in my head so i’m sorry if there’s too much lolol. but basically reader + the triplets have been best friends since they were like 6, but reader and nick are closest. she’s had a crush on matt for ages and basically matt finally realizes what he feels (even though anyone w two eyes could see) and kisses her, but they get caught by nick and matt kinda runs out, later being scolded by nick saying smtg like “why are you doing this? she doesn’t need you breaking her heart over and over again anymore.” after that he confesses and at first she thinks he’s fucking w her before realizing he’s being genuine

sandbox

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary - this rec ^^

warnings - kissing, fluff, swearing, use of y/n (i think thats all)

word count - 2400??

NOT PROOFREAD

me and the triplets have been best friends for as long as i remember. i honestly think i gained consciousness when i was with them. we have spent countless summers together just playing around outside. showing off our new toys, board games and just growing up together.

we were all inseparable from the moment i met them and have pretty much experienced everything with them. i was always super close with chris and he was even my first kiss at the ripe age of 8. nick and i met first during baseball practice and i was the only girl on the team. nick is my best friend in the whole world and that never changed as we grew up. matt and i are very different people. we always got along and played together as kids but as i grew up i developed feelings for him. i had an eye for him ever since we were 13 when he ditched his date and took me to 8th grade formal because no one else would. he was always my knight in shining armor.

i always thought he was attractive but as time went on i grew to love everything about him. i confided in nick about my feelings when i was 15 and have continued to express my feelings for matt to him. nick promised me that this would be the only secret he would ever keep from his brother and he has kept it for 2 years now.

which brings us to present day.

matt was driving me home from school since nick and chris were hanging out with their friends after school.

“did you see that amount of homework our history teacher gave us, i was ready to walk out the second she gave me that booklet.” i say. “oh i fucking know she can be ridiculous.” matt replies. he was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other tapping his fingers on the centre console to the music we were listening to. “matt.” i ask looking at the size of my booklet, “hmm?” he says watching the road. “do you think we can work on these together i really dont think i can get this done on my own.” i mumble, he chuckles looking over at me “i was just about to ask you the same thing.” he smiles.

“ok ill drive over later i need to do some things at home before i start homework.” i breathe. “sounds good.” he says.

once matt dropped me home i immediately began getting ready. although i would never admit it, i always tried my best to look my best when i was around matt. even though we have known each other for years i never wanted him to think i was unattractive.

growing up and watching the girls matt would take on dates and have all of those ‘firsts’ with always crushed me. he never knew it but he broke my heart countless times. the worst time was when we were 15 and he came to me nick and chris after hanging out with his first girlfriend and told us he lost his virginity. that was the night i confessed to nick my feelings for his brother. i spent the rest of that weekend crying in my room about matt when he did nothing to hurt me, i was just in my own head about loving him since i was 13. its safe to say nothing has changed since then and i have continued to be in love with him and i am now currently 17.

- later that night - 6:15 pm

i arrived to their house and walked in after being greeted by their mom and a hug from her. their mom treated me like my own as i was at their house more than i was at my own. she told me that there was dinner left over since chris and nick werent home if i wanted some.

of course all i wanted to do was just hangout with matt.

i made my way up the stairs to matts room to find him playing a game on his computer with headphones on. i walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. “oh y/n you scared the shit out of me.” he breathes clearly startled. i laugh and walk over to his bed and plop down on it. “i actually think i would rather step on nails for a day than do this history bullshit.” i sigh.

matt chuckles while shutting off his computer and grabbing his history booklet and sitting down on his bed. we both got right to work going from looking in our textbooks, to writing down answers, copying the answers from each other and wording them differently. we continued that same process for about an hour before my hand felt like it was going to fall off.

“oh my god matt i cannot do this anymore we need to take a break.” i sigh laying down on my back. “me too i think my head will explode if i keep going.” he agrees. i close my eyes and get comfortable in his bed while he grabs his phone and starts scrolling on it eventually turning it to my face “what do you think of her.” he asks showing me a girl that is in our history class. i just raise my shoulders in response. “words would be more helpful you know.” he chuckles. “i dont know shes the same as the past 3 girls you have been with.” i blankly reply. he hums in response and goes back to scrolling. “so helpful.” he says jokingly rolling his eyes.

“you never really like any of the girls i talk to huh?” he blurts. i freeze not knowing how to respond, i dont know matt maybe because ive been in love with you for years but your too stubborn to fucking notice it? i obviously wanted to scream I LOVE YOU AND I HAVE SINCE I WAS 13, at him but i didnt. my face goes blank and i just turn away from him and go back to resting my eyes even tho i know it wont last long. while me and matt had a great relationship as friends i always shut down when it came to moments like these. matt knows when something is wrong, all the fucking time. its frustrating in moments like these when i am literally mad at him for showing me a girl hes interested in but of course i cant tell him that.

“ok snap out of it what is your problem now?” he snaps. “matt i dont have a problem.” i state lying through my teeth. “anyone from a mile away can read that you are upset right now so just tell me what the issue is so i can fix it.” he pleads. “matt can you drop it.” i huff twars brimming my eyes, “no.” he pauses “why do you keep doing this, you always shut me out when theres a problem. i know that your upset and you know that i know your upset, just tell me whats wrong.” he explains.

“matt i cant.” i say as tears spill out. he lifts his hand to turn me over to see that im crying, his face saddens. i instinctually cover my eyes and sit up.

“theres clearly something wrong, what happened why cant you open up to me anymore.” he says. i sniffle and get up to use the bathroom. i couldnt stand to even look him in the eye. not knowing the strong feelings i have for him.

j went into the bathroom and broke down. i never broke like that in front of him before. every time this has happened i usually just go home and deal with it or complain to nick. this time i was looking him right in the eye and he saw what he made me feel. matts not and idiot he definitely knows why that upset me. if he didnt have a hunch that i was in love with him before he absolutely knows now. everything ive held in for the past 4 years has spilled out and i dont know how to handle what will happen when i walk back in to that room.

knock knock

“y/n can you open the door.” he says in a quiet tone. i put my hand on the handle and press my other hand to the door. “deep breaths” i keep repeating to myself. i crack the door open and matt sees me mascara on my face. puffy eyes and a sniffily mess. he grabs my face and either side and wipes away my tears. i just watch him as he does this. he moves forward to get closer and slowly connects our lips. i immediately melt into his touch and start kissing him back, wrapping my hands around his on my face.

we continue kissing as i wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him closer as he smiles into the kiss. i heavily breathe in as he slips his tongue into my mouth. my heart beats faster at the new feeling. i always imagined kissing matt but this is better than what i ever could have imagined. he moves one hand from my face and places it on my hip.

“what. the. fuck.” i hear nick say from behind.

we both stop and turn around and nick and chris standing behind us.

“nick please dont be mad.” i plead. “i will talk to you in a minute y/n” he says point at me “matt go to your room with me.” nick says sticking his hand in the direction of matts room.

matts pov

my heart was beating so fast as nick followed me into my room. kissing his best friend what was i thinking. she was my best friend too but their relationship was always closer but its still no excuse.

“what the fuck are you doing kissing y/n?” he yells, i open my mouth to speak but he interrupts me. “do you know how much you have fucked with her already.” he exclaims.

now im confused.

“you have been messing with y/n’s head for years now and you have spent the past four years breaking her heart over and over, she doesnt need you doing it again.”

i pause i thinking about his words rubbing my hands over my face.

“she has spent everyday loving you since we were 13 and has watched you countless times talk to girls and being girls around and she has always kept it in as to how she feels. unless you truly have feelings for her that to you was nothing. but matt, what just happened right there.” nick says shaking his head, “just might hurt her more than anything you could ever have done to her.” nick breathes before walking out of my room.

y/n’s pov

i walked into chris’ room after what happened and just cried as he watched me spiral. he surprisingly had nothing to say and the silence of the situation made it even worse. i was freaking the fuck out. i never anticipated kissing matt and especially not his brother, my best friend catching us.

nick walks in to chris’ room “y/n are you ok?” he asks. i look at him and just break down. he walks over and sits down on the bed with me and chris. chris friendly pats me on the shoulder and i smile at him “thanks chris.” i say and he gives me a warm smile.

we hear a knock on the door and see matt open it. “y/n please can i talk to you.” he says and nick looks at me with worry written all over his face. “its ok.” i whisper as i get up and nod at matt.

we close the door behind us and he begins. “nick just told me ive been breaking your heart since we were 13.” he breathes, “why didnt you say anything before.”

“matt i couldnt.” i say tears threatening to come out of my eyes again. matt looks at me with concern. “dont, dont look at me like that. you never felt anything for me now dont start now because you feel bad for me.” i say now feeling angry at him. “y/n but thats the thing, i always felt something for you. anyone with eyes can see that. you know that i never let any girl come into my presence without asking your approval, your the most important girl to me in the world nothing can ever change that.” he says looking at the ground. “bullshit.” i huff. “i dont believe you, if you really ever had feelings for me you would have seen that i loved you for 4 years.” i say tears pooling out of my eyes but i dont care, “4 years matt. ive been seeing you with girls for years envious of their life and then you pass them on like their nothing.” i say putting a finger to his chest. “4 years i had to keep this to myself to prevent it from ruining years of friend ship, not just between us but between your family.” i say pushing my finger on his chest harder and he steps back. “4 years that i had to get my heart broken by someone who didnt give a shit about me.” i say walking towards him now pushing him harder, crying even harder now.

he wraps his arms around me and i fight out of his grip. he doesnt let go as i stuggled but eventually i grow tired and just clutch on to him like if i let go i would fall. “im sorry.” he says petting my hair and i cry into his chest. “you know that i would never hurt you, you are the one person besides my brother that i care about the most.” he says resting his chin on my head. “i love you.” he says. i look up at him from his grip. i moved up to his face finding his lips and connecting them once more. this kiss more sweet than the last.

“ive waited to hear that since i was 13.”

thank you for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed this and to the person who requested it i hope this lived up to your standards 🤍🤍🤍

#matthew bernard sturniolo #matty b sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x y/n #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

262 notes · View notes

kikikigrah · 3 days

Text

unlikely duo

lando norris x singer!yn

summary: following y/n, an international superstar, invited by mclaren to attend the monaco gp. after that, it’s all go from there with a certain no.4 driver.

faceclaim: jazmyn makenna!

_____________________________________________

yourusername posted

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 1,392,902 others.

yourusername omggg! thank you so much for having me @ mclaren this has been a life long dream. the little girl in me is sooo happy, and i had THEEEEE most fun! mclaren girl until i die. 🥹

78,628 comments

mclaren Guys shut up, y/n y/l/n is officially a part of the papaya fam! 🧡

liked by yourusername

user1 THIS IS THE CROSSOVER I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED!!!

—> user2 wdym girl y/n has been saying she was a fan of f1 since before you could talk 😭

user3 do we think she’s a lando girlie or an oscar girlie?

—> landonorris Obviously Lando.

—> user4 AGHHHHH HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!

—> user5 Lando being messy as usual. 😭

f1 Was y/n here for us or were we here for her?

user6 she’s really doing every side quest to avoid dropping a new album.

—> user7 WE ARE HUNGRY GIRLLLL

user8 lando’s comment… let him cook.

—> user9 So true give y/n a good man for once.

—> user10 y’all are MADDD weird, they literally just met y/n went to ONE race.

—> user11 @ user10 they’ve been following each other wayyy before she went to this race.

—> user12 I’m here for it.

f1wagupdates posted

56,892 likes

f1wagupdates International music sensation y/n y/l/n was spotted in a club in Monaco during this summers off season with Lando Norris, having preformed in Paris the night prior. The two were reportedly seen both arriving and leaving together.

8,397 comments

user8 I WAS RIGHT WHEN I SAID SO IN MAY SHUT UP OH MY GOD.

—> user 13 Can you be right about a P1 for Lando next?

landonorris uploaded a photo to their story

yourusername posted

Liked by landonorris and 1,003,893 others

yourusername monacoooo baby, best week of my life!!!! will be back asap <3

45,903 comments

user14 SHUT UP THE LAST PHOTO, LANDO WAS ON A BOAT TWO DAYS AGOOOO

—> user15 y/nDO IS REALLL!!!

—> user16 HOW IS THE PAPARAZZI NOT CATCHING THESE TWO?

—> user17 @ user16 just a normal day in monaco 😭😭😭😭

madisonbeer come back to LA girl i miss u 🥹

—> yourusername ily bby see u soon!

—> user18 y/nson stronger than y/ndo could EVER BE!

—> user19 WHERE IS THE COLLAB?

liked by yourusername

liked by madisonbeer

landonorris I’ll show you around next time?

—> yourusername if you’re driving!

—> user20 LANDO STOP ACTING AS IF YOU WEREN’T ALREADY DOING THAT!

—> user21 why are we being gaslighted rn.

user22 drop the album queen!

y/n_updates posted

liked by carlossainz55, and 973,893 others.

y/n_updates Y/n spotted last night in her current home city of LA getting cosy with Formula One driver Lando Norris. The two have been interacting on social media, and have been rumoured to be dating since they appeared to have first met in May.

Y/n has not been involved with anyone romantically since her whirlwind romance with the rising star Jacob Elordi last year. Elordi is believed to be the mystery man she was referring to in her hit song ‘ballad of broken promises’.

Read more about the singer and her supposed new flame through the link in our bio.

69,683 comments

user23 WE HEAR NOTHING ABOUT THEM IN MONTHS AND THEN SUDDENLY GET THE CLUB IN MONACO AND THIS?!

user24 y/nDO IS CONFIRMED

user25 omg his outfit… girlfriend effect at its finest. 🙏

—> user26 still had to keep the cap though 💀

user27 jacob elordi to lando norris… they couldn’t be more different from each other 😭

—> user28 that’s what i was thinking, the height is the first thing!

—> user29 mother has amazing taste 😩

—> user30 @ user29 ik u didn’t just say that having listened to ballad of broken promises 💀💀

user31 THE WAY CARLOS LIKED THIS POST IM SCREAMING!!!!

—> user32 HIS BEST FRIEND JUST CONFIRMED IT HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

user33 CARLOS SAINZ STIRRING THE POT

user34 omg my girl has a man 🥹 i am so so happy for her if they are official

user35 Am i the only one who has never heard of Lando 😭

—> user36 UMM YES 💀

yourusername posted

liked by madisonbeer, landonorris, and 2,389,683 others.

yourusername i am super excited to announce that my new single ‘high-heeled sweetheart’, ft my bestest friend @ madisonbeer , will be coming out next friday! i had so much fun making this track, and i’m sooo super proud of it. thank u to all the beautiful ppl out there who keep making this dream of mine possible. i just want to hug each and every one of you. <33

and a special thank you to @ landonorris for taking the beautiful photo i now get to use as the cover for this song. you’re incredible! :)

96,682 comments

user37 SO LAST NIGHT WE GET THE Y/N X LANDO PICS IN LA, AND TODAY WE GET A SONG DROP.

—> user38 AND HE TOOK THE COVER PHOTO

—> user39 i fucking love the cover but it’s so risqué, they are 100% dating.

—> user40 THE :) FACE OH I AM SICK!

madisonbeer my ANGEL!! I loved finally working with you

—> yourusername thank you for being here with me every step of the way madi

mclaren We will be streaming this song as soon as it comes out. 🧡

liked by yourusername

user41 the way she still hasn’t adressed the dating rumours, queen shit.

—> user42 she don’t need to, the pics are confirmation enough. 😭

landonorris y/n called me incredible, #winning.

—> yourusername lando norris noticed ME #winning.

—> user43 ARE Y’ALL GONNA COME OUT AND TELL US UR DATING OR DO WE NEED TO FORCE IT OUT OF YOU?

—> user44 MOTHER AND FATHER?

iamrebeccad will be listening on friday! so happy for you ✨

—> yourusername i absolutely adore you 🥹

—> user45 HIS BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND IS EVEN COMMENTING NOW!

—> user46 oh theyre locked in.

#f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #fame au

110 notes · View notes

ms-demeanor · 6 months

Note

I went diabetic earlier this year, since then I've had far more serious health concerns to really focus on it. I've listened to my primary care and reduced my average a1c from 13 to 7. I've recently been looking into diets and what not that are the best. Currently, I'm trying to cut out all carbs, on my doctor's orders. What I'm seeing though is that a plant based diet is best. It looks like a ketogenic diet is what my doctor wants me to follow? I've watched videos on both diets and I don't know, I agree with you that keto is evil. What are your thoughts about this?

I am not a medical professional so i can't give you medical advice, but I'd say that you should ask your doctor for a referral to a dietician (an RD or an RDN, NOT a "nutritionist" - RD/RDN are protected terms that mean they have completed specific training and have specific board certification) and ask the dietician for advice on your specific dietary needs for your specific medical conditions.

What I can say is that trying to cut all carbs is pretty dangerous - not only is it a macronutrient that our body uses as the most available fuel for your body processes (we *can* get fuel from protein and fat, and ketones can *theoretically* replace sugars for energy but nobody is actually sure how long our bodies can do that and we know it's a LOT less efficient, it's supposed to be less efficient, and what that means is it makes a lot of people feel exhausted when they try it because they literally have less available energy) but also there are certain nutrients that are fortified in the US that are going to be hard to get if you're cutting carbs completely. The example that I always use is folate, because when I had to cut wheat out of my diet (i have grain allergies and celiac disease) I didn't know to supplement it and ended up with a form of anemia and stuff like "fainting" and "dizziness" and "low oxygen saturation."

Which is part of why massive diet changes should be undertaken with the assistance of a dietician! That's why I started studying nutrition! Because nobody supervised my medically necessary diet changes and it went very poorly!

Your GP very likely doesn't have a ton of training on nutrition, and is even less likely to have training on nutrition specific to your condition. If your GP is telling you to cut all carbs, they are telling you to do something dangerous and not nutritionally sound (even really restrictive keto diets call for 20g of carbs a day). Ask either them or your endocrinologist for a referral to a dietician (again, you are looking for a Registered Dietician or a Registered Dietician Nutritionist, RD or RDN, NOT just 'nutritionist') who is familiar with helping diabetics manage their nutrition.

Now, all of that said, in the choice between two fairly restrictive diets I will always say to try the one that requires less effort. It is much easier to eat a plant-based diet long term than a keto diet, and it is vanishingly unlikely that you are going to end up protein deficient (the primary concern for most people who are starting plant based diets, and it's just not all that likely - we need a lot less protein than a lot of people seem to think; though if you're going completely vegan you do need to be careful to supplement your B vitamins and to ensure that you're getting plenty of omega fats)

Because the thing is, for a diet to "work" you have to be on that diet forever. If you stop being on that diet, and stop adhering to its restrictions, whatever benefits exist for that diet go away. So the best diet for *anybody* is one that will provide them with the nutrients they need in a way that they can access regularly and affordably, that they enjoy eating and can comfortably maintain for long periods of time, and that includes a variety of fruits and vegetables because the only diet advice that is nearly universally applicable is that people should be eating more fruits and vegetables and they should be eating a wider variety of them.

I am not a fan of "diets" as a concept and I think that people should think of nutrition in terms of "my diet" not "the diet that is meant to be one-size-fits-all for millions of people that I am attempting." Your diet is what you eat and drink, and that is what you should be looking at adjusting. If you want to reduce carbs in your diet it's better to tweak your consumption than it is totally replace your diet with a one size fits all keto diet. If you want to increase fat in your diet it is better to tweak your consumption than it is to replace your diet with a one size fits all atkins diet. If you want to go plant based I think it is better to start by adjusting your diet to include more plants and to slowly replace animal based products than by trying a one size fits all vegan diet right out of the gate. You can always (and should!) make adjustments to what you eat as circumstances change and you may end up at a vegan diet or a low carb high fat diet and find that that works for you, but part of the reason that I think nutrition studies on diets are so screwy and hard to pin down is because your body is going to *flip the fuck out* when you change from, say, an average american diet to a study-provided Mediterranean diet for a 12 week experiment. If you drastically change your diet all at once and get good results immediately it's very hard to say if those results will be lasting because your body may just adjust to the "new normal" of your diet six months down the line.

But like seriously if your GP is telling you to cut all carbs you need to see a person who specializes in nutrition, and to prepare for your appointment with that person you should make a list of your goals (for you it sounds like you want to manage your blood sugar levels, reduce a1c, and *ask about* low carbs if that is something that interests you), a list of things you think that you'll have trouble with or that you want to include in your diet because they're important to you (if you really like nuts but have to be on a low fat diet, ask if there's a way to work around that with your needs, for example; if there is a cultural staple that you will find difficult to cut from family meals, TELL THEM THAT), a list of questions that you have about different types of diets, and *VERY IMPORTANTLY* information about your food budget and cooking skills. Be clear about it if you can't cook. Be clear about it if you can't afford certain ingredients.

Anyway. Once again, not medical advice, please speak to a medical professional, good luck.

#tw diet talk #food tw

193 notes · View notes

m0nsterqzzz · 2 months

Text

The Gift

pairing: katniss everdeen x district 12 reader

summary: when she can't be there to protect you, you'll be damn sure she finds some other way.

a/n: this is so fucking short but I have like 7 katniss fics in the work rn that i can't figure out an end to. it's literally only 1023 wordssss ahhhhh i prefer writing long ones so its more entertaining for yall but idk. im dying. started writing a enimes to lovers clarisse fic, and a taytay one, AND my leg fucking hurts. who knew breaking a bone hurts? not me yall. sos. send help.

Walking up in district 13, dressed in a hospital gown that wouldn't stop scratching your body with the material, and your girlfriend nowhere to be seen wasn't exactly pleasant.

After a minor breakdown, it was revealed from Haymitch that Katniss is a few rooms down, also panicking since she’s not allowed to see you. It doesn't bring any comfort, listening in the silence of the night wondering how she’s doing. The last time you saw her face to face she was shooting an arrow towards the top of the force field of the arena you and her were placed in along with 22 other tributes that had won previous hunger games just like you and your girl.

So now you lie awake in your hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling as the annoying clock placed above your door clicks and clicks. If you squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep breath while covering yourself in blankets, you can almost imagine you’re back in district twelve, laying in bed with Katniss instead of laying in this cold room with the knowledge that your district has been burned to the ground.

Your eyes fall to the clock, watching the tiny second hand slowly spin around the full circle before the minute hand moves a little bit signaling only one minute has gone by. The only reason you finally lose interest in it is because the door below it slowly creeks open, a person with long hair and a gown similar to yours stepping inside and gently closing the door behind them.

“Katniss.” You mumble, a relieved smile coming onto your face. She nods, sitting on the side of your bed next to your body.

“Hey honey.” She whispers, clearly nervous a guard rooming the hall will hear her and come in to take her back to her own room. “Are you alright? Haymitch won’t tell despite my threats.”

You manage a small chuckle, nodding as you finally close your eyes and curl into her side. “I’m fine. Are you okay? Nobody will tell me.”

She’s silent for a minute, and you feel a wet droplet drop onto your arm. A tear, though you don’t mention anything to your girlfriend. Finally, the brunette shrugs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. “I’m okay now.”

With a small kiss to the top of your head, she relaxes her head against your pillow before sitting up. “I forgot. I brought you something.” She reaches up to the back of her neck, shuffling around for a second before she holds something out to you. Even in the very dim lighting of your room, you can see the necklace. It’s one you're familiar with, for Katniss never took it off until she volunteered as a tribute for her sister Primrose about a year ago.

“My dad gave it to me when I was a kid.” The archer hushedly says, staring at it before glancing at you. You know the story, it being one of the first ones she told you when she finally opened up to you about the loss of her father, but you listen anyway. “He said it would protect me when he wasn’t there to do it. He died in the mines a few months after that.” When she learned her district she was born and raised in was now just ashes and rubble, she thought about the lost friends and that necklace. It was placed in a jewelry box before she left for her second time in the arena, and unlike the townspeople she was decent friends with, her mother was able to give it back.

You two fall into silence for a second before she continues, her voice slightly breaking before it goes back to normal. “And he was right. It has always protected me. I want it to do the same for you.” You’re about to object when she just gently shushes you. It’s her fathers, something she’s very dear almost all her life, why would you just let her give it away?

“I hold my dad in my heart. Not in the necklace. I want you to have protection when I can’t be there to do it. This is as close as we’re gonna get to that.” you giggle, looking in her eyes for a few seconds to make sure she’s sure about this before nodding and turning your back to her so she can put it on you.

Her hands gently touch your skin as you clasps the jewelry onto you, leaving a trail of warmth on the back of your neck before she puts her hands back into her lap. You turn to face her again, hands moving to fidget with the necklace. It’s a gold chain, a small sun charm hanging from it in the middle. It’s beautiful.

“Thank you Katniss.” You say, words sincere as she moves to lay in between your legs with her head on your chest. She doesn't say anything, just placing a kiss on your collarbone that speaks more than enough.

The door creaks open once more, her fight of flight instantly getting triggered as she shields your body with her own and looks over her shoulder. Her tense state calms a little bit when she sees it’s only Haymitch, mumbling something about needing a drink when he sees Katniss in your room. “I was doing night checks. Making sure your person’s still alive.” He mumbles, clearly pointed towards your girlfriend after she threatened him this morning with a syringe to tell give her updates every once and a while about how you were doing.

You find yourself letting out a small laugh, one of the first you’ve had in what feels like an eternity even though it’s only been about a month and a half.

Katniss smiles at the sound of your joy, the first real one since she learned you were alive.

She may not always be able to protect you, but hopefully the trinket will.

Even if it doesn’t, one things for sure. Her dad would have loved you.

Not as much as she does though.

#katniss everdeen x reader #katniss everdeen x you #katniss everdeen #the hunger games x you #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #what is that ending T-T #dying yall. send help.

80 notes · View notes

rosesocietyy · 7 months

Text

Brilliant people have said everything that needs to be said about this much much better and I don't got anything substantial to add but I just have to get this off my chest cause y'all I'm still in disbelief

like this is a grown ass person btw oh I simply have to laugh😭

this perfectly exemplifies literally everything cringe af and wrong with these "assigned welcomers". this is just my scapegoat but there are way worse I've seen

First of all, get a job. how, at your fossil age, do you have time to spend all day scrolling through every single iwtv related post and arguing with people who say anything even slightly damning about lestat (which mind you, is literally just objective facts about things he did). I'll dm you a McDonald's application hell I'll even put in a referral for you out of the goodness of my heart.

Second, Lestat is not a real person. he's fake, a made up character, the figment of someone's imagine, non-existent, people hating him will not affect your life in anyway shape or form. He didn't assign you as his PR agent I promise you'll live. "They'll never accept him" ok and?!?

Question, and I'm genuinely asking, is this their first time in a fandom? why is someone having a different opinion about a character they love enough to send them into hysterics like?? 13 year olds on anime twitter have a better grasp on reality that y'all do get a grip!

And like the above posts have talked extensively about, I most definitely noticed whose posts a specific bunch of them love to go under to share their dog shit "explanation" that nobody asked for. When a black person sees Louis being brutalized by his white lover what do you expect their reaction to be? oaur wow this white french slut is so pussy cunt slay period queen? "but louis is flawed too" do you hear yourself? do you listen to yourself when you speak? can you activate the barest hint of brain activity to understand why we would react differently to what we're watching than you would and that knowledge of the source material has nothing to do with it? Just because you read those shitty books and posses no empathy for black people in media doesn't mean you gain some higher understanding of "gothic romance ".

"No but the thing is you don't understand this is a gothic romance and they're supposed to be monsters and lestat has suffered saur much and he's also the real main character so you must love him" so now how exactly does that negate their point about him being an abuser? quickly! sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up when black people are sharing their thoughts on the show cause who the fuck are you fr and what convinced you that you have the right to argue with them about THEIR experiences. that tweet that said white people act like God left them in charge, yeah.

Funny enough, half the people that are so gung ho about him now didn't even fw him at all when they only read the first book. wow it's almost like you were allowed to sort out your feelings about him on your own without insects disguised as people in your mentions calling you slow for not licking his feet.

I despise so much in this fandom. From the bottom of my heart I really truly do. I don't know what I was expecting, I guess more common sense and maturity because the average age in the fandom is quite high compared to other fandoms I've been in but nah, just mfs screaming and crying bc ppl don't jump up and down and scream yipee! everytime their white fav commits abhorrent, disgusting crimes.

I was so caught up in the euphoria of an anne rice property finally being given to skilled creators who'll pick it apart and say something poignant with it that for a moment, I forgot I lived in a world where majority of its audience would sadly be the anne rice crowd.

#gag is the first time watchers don't even hate lestat as character #they all think he's brilliantly written #but because they're not calling him mother and liking edits of him to club music #those roaches have decided to take personal offense #interview with the vampire #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #amc iwtv

96 notes · View notes

corrodedcoffins-blog · 2 months

Text

Public

older!rockstar!eddie x popstar!reader

note: takes place after Paris throughout 2024, yn and eddie stop hiding their relationship now that they're both all in.

warning: slut shaming

y/nl/n

liked by isla_munson, coreyfogelmanis, and others

y/nl/n: 📸: eds

september 15, 2023

view all comments

em_1989: im so happy for you 😭😭

taytay.13: how she looks at him>>>

_17jenna: why is she with him? she could do so much better than some old guy

dylan_86: cause she's a slut

georgia.iloveyourson: that 'some old guy' is a literal rock legend. what have you done?

ribbons.in.your.hair: whats my girl making in the studio??? 👀

youve.been.gilmored_: y/n with glasses 🔛🔝

_jeremy.03: this relationship is weird...

ima_mirrorball: thanks for the opinion that nobody asked for 🥰

layla.anderson19: we're all gonna ignore the last photo???

posted Feb 5, 2024

Eddie Munson (46) and Y/n L/n (25) were seen getting very cozy at The Grammy's this past weekend. Sitting next to Taylor Swift, as well as Lana Del Rey, it seems the 'Nonsense' singer's friends get along great with the rock legend.

The couple were both up for their own separate awards, Munson being up for Rock Album with 'In Times New Roman...' by Queen of the Stone Age, having been the main producer on several songs. As well as 'Not Strong Enough' by Boygenius, a group Eddie had publicly wanted to work with since their first EP, and finally having that time this past year.

L/n was up for Record of the Year with her song 'Feather', winning her first Grammy. The couple shared a cute moment, with a hug and a kiss, before she got a big hug from friend and mentor, Taylor Swift, then running up on stage; mentioning both in her speech. As well as winning Music Video for, again, her song 'Feather'.

The couple also didn't miss Eddie Munson's son, Leo Munson, getting a few awards that night also. The man worked with Boygenius, producing and winning Alternative Album, as well as beating his father in Rock Album, with 'This Is Why' by Paramore.

All around a very successful night for the couple, as one of their first fully public engagements together.

y/nl/n

liked by leomunson, tarayummy, and others

y/nl/n: 🎀

June 22, 2024

view all comments

em.emily: she's so hot 😍

sturniolo.13: she's crazyyy for this

dads.bradsandchads: She admits she's only with him cause of his age and money.

mom.iama.richman: i aspire to be your level of delusion

big_reputation: the pic w eddie is so cute

zebra11: y/n is so iconic 😭

katelynstyles: she's so unserious

normalpeople_: ikr i love her

flyers_fan: She's with him for attention.

carmencarmen: i also love dilfs

isla_munson

liked by y/nl/n, leahsavajeffries, and others

isla_munson: my first ep 'isla' is out THIS FRIDAY!!! 🖤🤍

August 6, 2024

view all comments

y/nl/n: so proud of you hun!!! ❤️❤️

walker.scobell: 🍂

isla_munson: 🍂

corrodedcoffinofficial: So excited to listen, little Munson!

jess.1989: y/n has writing creds!!

speaknow.stan: that's how y'know its gonna be good!

madmax: nah, we know its gonna be good because Leo is producing!

emails_13: nah, we know its gonna be good because its isla!

sienna.taylor: my little recording artist 🥰

isla_munson: love ya! ❤️

samandcolbys.wife: walker and isla's comments 👀

isla.loverr: autumn leaves about to be THE teenage love song

lana.lorde: i know!!! they're so cute!

leomunson: can't wait for people to hear your work!

isla_munson: our* work

isla's ep:

balled of a homeschooled girl - olivia rodrigo

kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pretty isn't pretty - olivia rodrigo

lacy - olivia rodrigo

anatomy - kenzie (about her mom)

autumn leaves - mckenna grace (about walker)

graceland too - pheobe bridgers (leo wrote about isla)

~taglist~

@whoscamila @mystargirl-interlude @creoleguurl @witchwolflea @kissmejoey @taylorswiftsloverfr @random000000sblog

#eddie munson #older!rockstar!eddie x popstar!reader #older!rockstar!eddie #older!eddie munson #older!eddie x reader #older!eddie #older eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #older!eddie fluff #older!eddie munson x reader #older!eddie munson x y/n #older!rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff

41 notes · View notes

melodygatesauthor · 8 months

Text

Okay guys, I can't believe it's been a full year since I published the first chapter of my first fanfiction story and I'm still going strong today. - (Side note...it was actually yesterday but I wanted to get all my fics posted to AO3 so I could get an accurate word count and tell you all what I've done so...it took me an extra day)

This is going to be a really long post, and I thank everyone in advance for reading all the way through if you make it. I'm taking a moment to allow myself to talk about my accomplishments over the last year, my goals for this next year, and gas myself up just a bit. As an artist, it's really hard to talk about myself in a positive light without being critical, but I'm going to do it anyway. No one asked, but this is one of the ways I wanna celebrate my ficversary so...I'm gonna do it lol.

My First Fanfic Ever

I'd like to start by sharing my beginnings with writing. If I really think back to the very first fanfiction I wrote, I thought it was a Gorillaz fic (which I still have a handwritten copy of in my closet lol), but it wasn't. I think the very first fanfic I wrote technically was a Pirates of the Caribbean fic when I was 11. I didn't even realize that's what it was, I just knew that I was SO into POTC that I wanted to write about it. It had just come out by the way, so I'm really dating myself. This was...2003.

We had this thing we had to do for school, it was like a writing assignment or something, one of those big ones that they gave you, a standardized whatever. I managed to find a way to spin it into a POTC related thing and I went OFF writing this story. It had its own twists and turns unrelated to POTC, but it was a fanfic through and through.

The Beginning of My Fan Art

When I was 12 I started listening to Good Charlotte, to a point that it was my entire personality. Everyone who knew me, knew I loved them. Every fucking art project I had in middle school (7th and 8th grade) was revolved around this band, particularly Joel Madden.

My love for them has come and gone, but I still remember how I felt at the time (not unlike how I feel toward Oscar Isaac now lol). I mean my art teacher literally had to be like "I want you to branch out, you can't make everything about them." And as an adult, I'm wondering -why the fuck not but- ...I digress.

The First Fanfic I Ever "Published"

When I was 12 (or maybe closer to 13), I became OBSESSED with the Gorillaz. When I say obsessed I mean...I listened to the album Demon Days on repeat until it fucking broke. I changed my G's when I would write by hand to match the G in their logo. I made tons of fan art and it was a damn vibe. This was the first time I really discovered fanfiction and learned what it was.

I remember reading one fanfic from some girl on this website (I'm really dating myself here, some of you will know what site this is...) Quizilla. Quizilla was THE site at the time (other than LiveJournal I think, but I never used LiveJournal and didn't know it existed at the time) for fanfiction and what you would now call "buzzfeed quizzes". This girl's writing inspired me to write my own fanfic, which I handwrote and kept in a green folder which, as I said, I still have to this day sitting in my closet.

My very first fic, and yes at 13, included some romance, some non-con (don't fucking ask me why idk even how I knew about that at 13. I was never exposed to this type of thing as a child fortunately) and other nonsense. I published it on this site, and it made me really happy. I don't remember if anyone ever read it or not tbh, but it will forever hold a place in my heart <3

My Best Friend/Emo Era

I met my best friend in high school when I was about 14. She and I are still close to this day. Not as close, but I can still tell her my most unhinged thoughts and she loves me regardless. We met because we both wrote fanfiction and lost our minds over the fact that we did. Thus started my emo era.

She was into My Chemical Romance, and I was into The Used. 2005 was a time lol. The two of us had either a binder or a composition notebook where we'd handwrite our fics and pass them back and forth between classes. I still have the ones I wrote tucked away in my house. When we'd read them she and I would leave little notes in the margins like we all leave comments today.

Most of these fics never got published, they were just for us to enjoy. I did, however, publish a fic when I was about 15, that I wrote to completion. Quizilla ended up going down, and most of us moved to Mibba.com instead, which is still a website.

Edit: I looked at Mibba, and it looks like the website is still there, but you can't search for anything, so Mibba is gone too. Not gonna lie, broke my nostalgic heart just a bit to see...Some fics I wrote on there will be gone forever. Maybe for the best, but it's still kinda sad.

The Avenged Sevenfold Era

When I tell you that Avenged Sevenfold has been my favorite band since I was 15, I'm dead ass. Are they the best band ever? Not by a long shot, but damn the way I still lose my shit over them is unhinged. Anyone who was around during this time fucking knows...they were fucking HOT. Matt Shadows really had the bulky but not shredded body type going on, they all kinda did, and I'm so here for it.

Why I'll never post any of the fics I wrote during this time, even if I get my hands on them...

I wrote them when I was 15, and I was writing about things 15 year olds shouldn't write about.

You don't know cringe until you've read those fics.

It's about real people and I'm not a fan of rpf anymore. I'm all for writing whatever you want and fiction being fiction but there's something that gives me the ick about real people fiction. No offense to anyone who writes it, that's just my feelings.

The way these guys had a hold on me for the next 5 years was ridiculous. I wrote about them a lot, by hand, on my laptop, however I could. I had so many unhinged ideas and stories it's insane. I loved every minute of it, and I always look back on this as my true start into fanfiction.

The End of an Era

All good things come to an end. After graduation, my best friend and I stayed in touch, but grew apart. I went to college and continued writing fanfic. I was pursuing a major in graphic design with a minor in creative writing. I was convinced that even though I was writing fanfiction, I was going to write a book too and it would be a bestseller.

As time went on, probably when I was about 20 or 21, I kinda stopped writing fanfiction all together. My friend wasn't really writing it anymore, and the community around Avenged Sevenfold was slowing down. I was also in the middle of a breakup and it was a whole thing, so I kinda stopped writing around this time.

I'd also, unfortunately, felt like fanfiction was for kids/teens, so didn't feel the need to continue writing anymore. I didn't want to seem like a loser writing fanfiction in my twenties...so I didn't.

For the record, you're not a loser for writing fanfiction. It's a very valid artform and it's fun. We only live for so long, so enjoy it doing what makes you happy, period. I'll probably be writing in my 50s I fucking hope lol.

Anyway, at that time, that's how I felt. I now know it's bullshit to think that way. So fanfiction fizzled out for me, and I kinda moved on to other things.

My Not-fanfiction Era

What was I doing instead of writing? Going through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, working on trying to build what I thought was the 'dream' (marriage, kids, a house, e.t.c.), working and playing video games.

Fortunately that relationship ended. After years of therapy (which he told me I needed because he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy lol), I grew the balls to finally tell him to fuck off and leave. It was the best decision I ever made, especially considering this was JUST before COVID hit. I shudder to this day thinking about the fact that I was almost stuck in a house with that freak during lockdown.

When that relationship ended I moved back to Maine to be with my family. I missed them and had spent basically my entire 20s in another state with some loser.

Back to Fanfiction - Kylo Ren Era

So how did I get back here? How did I get back into writing and creating fan art? The truth is, a switch literally flipped in my brain over this guy right here...

I mean...

The funny thing is, I wasn't SUPER into Star Wars before this. I liked it, I'd seen the sequel trilogy in theaters, but to me it was just a movie series. I was literally watching a Sam Collins video on YouTube where he made fun of a Kylo Ren cosplayer's thirst trap on TikTok and was like...oh that's actually kinda hot.

Thought nothing of it though, just moved on with my day...until I dreamt about him too. And then I felt this spark inside me that I couldn't shake. I literally was like...👀 something is happening here.

So I remembered this feeling from when I was a teen and recognized the impending obsession immediately. I actually googled "is fanfiction still relevant" and "is it ok to write fanfiction as an adult?"

The short answers are - yes - and - of course it is -. This was how I discovered the VERY popular Kylo Ren fic Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovella. I read it in a matter of a week, and in that time I started writing my own fic. I also rewatched ALL the Star Wars movies, and then continued rewatching the sequel trilogy on repeat just so I could get Kylo Ren's character down. I wanted to make sure I captured his voice and personality perfectly. - When I say I watched the sequel trilogy 20 times, it's not an exaggeration, I had it on constantly.-

The fic I wrote was called, Yes, Master

The first chapter of that fic was published on 09/05/2022 (one year ago today), and the last chapter was published on 10/14/2022 with a word count of 100,701. Not only is it the longest fic I've written of all the fics I've done, but it's the one I wrote the fastest. I was posting a chapter a day every day until it was finished. I mean...I literally went OFF on this story. I was so proud of it that I went to lulu.com and made myself a physical copy of it that I intend to read as part of this celebration I'm doing lol.

Wondering if anyone would be interested in me revamping this story (rewriting and updating it) and posting here? I would definitely do it if there was enough interest.

I then wrote a sequel called By Your Side which taught me SO MUCH. Here's what I learned when creating this sequel...

Not everything needs a sequel.

Writing a chapter a day isn't realistic.

I should've planned a full outline before diving into this fic.

I'm not into pregnancy fics/domestic fics all that much as far as longfics go.

It's okay to genuinely dislike something you've written and you should try to learn from that.

By Your Side is still to this day one of my least favorite fics (if not my LEAST favorite). I am still proud of myself for finishing it, (it sits at a hefty 85,599 words). I don't have to love it though. I'm just grateful for what I learned in the process of writing it and proud of myself for finishing it despite being sick of it by chapter 8 and still writing 20 chapters after that.

I also wrote my very first Yandere fic, Just You. It's a bit darker, in my opinion, than The Fractured Moon. This fic was a blast to write, and it felt very freeing to write something so disturbing. It was fun to just let myself get into a dark headspace without holding back and not feeling bad about it. It was more

The Rainbow Six Siege Era

During my time writing for Kylo, I went back to a video game I used to play a lot, Rainbow Six Siege. My Oscar Era bleeds into the Kylo and R6S era a little but I'll talk about that soon.

The Siege fandom was an interesting one...one that I'll probably not go back to much, though I may still write a little fic for it here and there as I feel inspired to. I won't dive too much into this as I know most of you are Oscar fans, but I'll mention my accomplishments here and the things I learned.

I wrote another novel-length fic for this fandom called The Recruit and the Hunter which has another 83,888 words. I actually LOVE this story, and still look back on it fondly. It was a fun one to write, and I really challenged myself to write less smut for it, and I succeeded. It focused heavily on the relationship that built between the main pairing and in my opinion it's one of my better slow-burns I've done.

Why did I leave this fandom?

Well, I'm not going to throw shade, I don't like doing that unless I have to, so I'll keep it brief. The long and the short of it is this...

The readers were getting EXTREMELY demanding. I have comments on RATH of people saying things like "I'm going to be upset if you don't give us a happy ending" and "there better be smut or I swear...". It can get really discouraging as a writer when people seem to say "I love your fic but I'll only continue to love it if you do xyz." It puts us in a dilemma, and makes it hard for us to find a balance between providing fan service, and doing what's fun for us to write. It definitely changed the outcome of RATH and I'm not happy that I gave in like that.

The requests I got were confusing and downright weird. I didn't do some of the really weird ones, and I'm not meaning to kink shame, but it was just very niche things that I couldn't get myself into. I think part of why I felt obligated to provide fan service like I mentioned in the point above, and why I caved and wrote some fanfics for these more unique requests, is because this fandom is very small, and I felt an obligation to provide.

Some of the other writers in the fandom are fucking rude. I'm not going to mention names, like I said, but I had very poor experiences with several writers in the fandom, and since I was also integrating into the Oscar fandom at the time, I could see a stark difference in the way I was being accepted in one, versus the way I was being pushed away in the other. There aren't a lot of x reader writers in the R6S fandom, and I was one of them, and there seems to be some animosity between the people who ship characters, versus the people who write x reader and that's where this mistreatment came from. I don't know, I tried making friends over there, and felt like I was getting pushed out.

So anyway, it's not for me anymore, but I still think back to certain parts of it fondly, and I may write a little more here and there as I see fit.

The Oscar Isaac Era

This really is THE era, isn't it?

As I was working on the last 10 or so chapters of Yes, Master, and after my 12th time rewatching the sequel trilogy movies, I started to fall for Poe Dameron, naturally. How could I not? I mean look at him...

So I decided that I would give Poe a prequel to my Yes, Master story called One Hell of a Pilot. This fic was so fun to write, and it's how I became involved with the Oscar Isaac community in the first place. Immediately I started following Dee, and through her I found Mona, and it was just snowballing from there. Whitney and Romana were some of the first to follow me and my shenanigans.

In December, which is when I started writing One Hell of a Pilot, another novel-length fic that ended with 80,517 words, is when I started reading Dee's fics, along with Mona's and many others. I saw their interactions and felt excited by the prospect of making new friends who were just as into some of this stuff as I was. A place that I could be myself and lose my shit over this idiot and not be judged.

I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into.

It all started with a fic that Dee had written, I can't remember which one, probably a dbf!Santi fic, and I asked the innocent question of...

What movie is this from?

Oh shit...I didn't realize what the fuck I was getting myself into. After she told me it was Triple Frontier and I should watch it, my brother and I watched it right away. I told him a friend of mine suggested it. The way we spent the entire 1.5 hours laughing at how bad it was is still a memory I hold dear to my heart. I still didn't know at the time that this loser (Oscar my beloved) would hold a place in my heart from that day on.

My first Santi fic was a headcanon about Santi w/ a plussize reader that I called Preciously Plump. A headcanon that later got a full fic, appropriately named Preciously Plump the One-shot.

So then I read something about Moon Knight, and between Dee and Mona shoving me into it (peer pressure ftw) I caved and watched the show.

Phew...

That gave way to the first Moon Knight fic I ever wrote, How Unexpected which came out on January 3rd, 2023 of this year. I was sure that between Steven's adorable nerdy behavior, and Marc's tough exterior, I'd be head over heels for those two. I was nervous to even TOUCH Jake, because I didn't know shit about his character, and the last thing I wanted to do was write a character without it sounding like them.

I was also afraid at the time of writing the Moon Boys with DID because I didn't know anything about it, and I didn't want to misrepresent something like that. After some time went by, I got my bearings, and started working on A Bit Dodgy.

ABD is definitely one of the fics I'm most proud of. I had learned a lot from my past fics I'd written, Yes, Master, e.t.c., and figured out what it was that works best when I'm writing to not only keep myself interested, but to create a good balance between smut for smut's sake, and pushing the story forward.

When I first started writing ABD, I was sure it was going to be a 30-40 chapter fic, but as I started writing it more, I realized quickly that a lot of the chapters were just porn. Is there anything wrong with that? No...but as someone who's written nearly a million words in this past year, I don't feel the need to draw my chaptered fics out with smut just to say I wrote something x chapters or x words wrong.

That's why ABD ended up getting cut down SO MUCH from my original plan. I just made some decisions that I felt maximized the story more and used the smut as a major plot device, rather than the fic revolving around smut as the plot...if that makes any sense lol. I'm happy to say, that as of today, A Bit Dodgy has concluded, though it's the only fic I've ever finished with such a heavy heart.

I was an Oscar stan HARD after that, diving into Sucker Punch and other silly little movies filled with that silly little man whom I love so so much.

Statistics

Numbers aren't important when it comes to kudos (AO3) and likes (Tumblr) so I'm not focusing on those. What I am going to focus on...is my personal accomplishments. Like I said, I don't normally toot my own horn, but I fucking wrote A LOT this year, and I'm going to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

So NOT including my random blurbs (since I'm not bothering to cross-post those)...

My total word count from 09/05/2022-09/05/2023 is (drumroll please):

791,829 words

GEE

I had thought I would've hit a million by now but I am NOT going to complain. By the grace of the horny demon that runs the smut factory in my brain, I've written more than I ever even thought possible.

In the Moon Knight fandom alone, I've written:

238,950 words

I think the only fandom I've written more for is Star Wars, but I'd have to add it all up and I'm not doing that rn haha.

Just kidding it's:

368,566 words

----

I wrote 6 novel-length fics, a total of 147 works, MK holds the record for most fics I've written at a whopping 82 fics!

----

It's shocking to look back and see what I've accomplished, and to look forward to seeing what else I can do. I know that this next year I won't have the same word count, probably not even close.

I'm focusing a lot on drawing now as well as writing, plus I'm working on my first novel that I'd like to publish so things will definitely be slowing down. I'm going to continue writing, but the speed at which I churn out fics will be slower in the future.

In Conclusion

Thank you all for the support throughout this year. There's no way in HELL I would've had the drive and desire to continue writing if not for the amazing community (most the Oscar Isaac community lol) behind me. It's not just the kudos and the reblogs, it's the people who I've grown to know since joining the world of fandom.

I never had a ton of IRL friends, and I live alone (happily btw) with my dog. Being able to make some friends here that I genuinely call friends, not just people I know online, has meant the world to me. I would list everyone out, but I have a fear of accidentally forgetting to tag someone despite how much they mean to me so I'll leave it at...those people know who they are.

And to my readers (I hesitate to use the word "fans", that makes it sound so conceited), thank you to the moon and back. Without out, I wouldn't have had the drive to keep going. Kudos, Likes and Reblogs aren't everything, I can't stress that enough, but they do help keep the drive alive. (Particularly the comments). Without the little boost of excitement I get when I see that other people are just excited about what I'm doing as I am, I probably would've given up ages ago.

You all are the reason that this was even possible.

With all that being said, I have a small celebration planned that I'll announce later tonight. In the mean time, stay amazing. You keep supporting me, and I'll keep providing the fics that you all love so much

Love, Melly

69 notes · View notes

lestappenforever · 9 months

Note

im sorry i literally just read through all your prompt fics and i would kill for a 44 and 45 if you havent done it yet. love your work so much mwa mwa (its okay if ur not taking prompts)

My lovely anon! Thank you so much for this — my brain kind of spiralled and ran away from me with this, so you're getting 11. "Come to bed." and 13. "Hold me?" as well.

Also, I wrote this on my phone while being a passenger princess in the car on my way across the country, so please forgive any typos.

I love you! ❤️

---

44. "I do love you, you know. Even if I'm shit at showing it.", 45. "Don't say anything. Just... Just lay here with me.", 11. "Come to bed.", and 13. "Hold me?"

It's not an uncommon occurrence, Charles and Max having a disagreement. In fact, it has been the baseline of their rivalry, then their friendship, and now, their relationship.

They have passionate discussions. Heated debates. They bicker and press each other's buttons. When one pulls, the other pushes, again and again and again.

But, most of the time, it’s fun. Harmless. A disagreement that will pass within a few minutes once they've both had a chance to cool down.

It usually doesn’t turn into a full-blown fight. Not one that leaves Charles looking at Max like he doesn’t know him anymore before storming off into the bedroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

He doesn’t even remember how it started. Something minor, no doubt, but Max cannot for the life of him remember what. All he knows is that whatever they'd been talking about turned into a conversation about Ferrari and Charles' outright refusal to accept that maybe it’s not the right team for him when they still haven't been able to give him what he needs to win a championship after so many years.

It's something Charles is passionate about, for obvious reasons. But Max is passionate about it too, because he knows what Charles is capable of. Knows that had he only just been in a different team — a team that listened and learned — then he'd already have a championship under his belt.

Because all Max wants in this world is to give Charles everything. But a championship is the one thing he can’t give him. And it’s infuriating, because nobody deserves a world championship more than Charles.

So yeah, when Charles had told him that he still believed Ferrari could help him achieve his life-long dream, Max had snapped.

Because when Max was this passionate about something, his passion could sometimes cross the line to anger. Not at Charles — never at Charles — but at the situation. At Charles deserving so much better than what he was getting.

That, on the other hand, wasn’t always obvious to others.

He overstepped, he knew that much. But he also knew there was no point in trying to fix this now because that would be poking the bear. And right now, the bear needs to breathe.

So Max lets him breathe, and he busies himself playing with Jimmy and Sassy. And when they get sick of him, he sits on the balcony and watches the city below.

He watches the boats, the cars, the people, and has to use every bit of strength to resist the urge to go to Charles.

Once two hours have passed and the Monégasque still hasn't emerged from the bedroom, Max can't take it any more.

Trudging back into the apartment, Max makes his way down the hallway to the bedroom. He lingers outside the closed door, hesitating. Two hours should be enough time, but it’s never a sure thing with Charles. Sometimes, two hours isn’t even close to being enough.

As he opens the door, Max hopes to God it's enough this time.

Charles is lying on the bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. But he'd left the door unlocked, which Max will take as a good sign.

(He won’t entertain the possibility that Charles simply may have forgotten.)

"I'm sorry," Max says as he sits on the edge of the bed next to Charles.

The Monégasque doesn’t look at him. Doesn’t answer. Just keeps staring at the ceiling.

Should have waited another hour, Max thinks to himself.

Well. Too late now.

"I didn't mean anything I said the way it probably sounded. I just — I think you deserve so much more. I'm sorry I didn't manage to articulate that."

Charles still doesn’t look at him or speak. But the tightness of his jaw eases slightly.

Max will fucking take that and run with it.

"I do love you, you know. Even if I'm shit at showing it," he goes on, reaching out tentatively to brush his fingers over Charles' thigh through the duvet.

He sees the Monégasque struggle with his resolve. Can tell Charles wants to hold on to his anger, just for a little while longer.

"You're only shit at showing it sometimes," Charles tells him with a sigh, before finally looking at Max. His eyes look puffy and tired, but still stunning. "Come to bed?"

It’s not forgiveness. Not yet. But it’s a start.

Max wastes no time, stripping out of his shirt and pants and climbing into bed next to Charles. He's about to keep apologizing — plead with Charles to forgive him, but the Ferrari driver beats him to the punch.

"Don't say anything, just — just lay here with me."

It's a simple request. One that Max is eager to comply with.

Hell, he'd launch himself off the fucking balcony with the biggest smile on his face if Charles had asked him to in that voice.

So they lay there next to each other. Not touching. Not speaking. Just existing in the same space. Breathing the same air. It's enough.

Until it isn’t.

Charles turns onto his side, facing Max, and looks up at him through his eyelashes. It’s a look that turns Max's very soul into a puddle.

"Hold me?"

"Always," Max's response is immediate as he shifts closer and pulls Charles against his chest, wrapping both arms around the other man and holding him as if his very life depends on it.

Charles sighs — a soft, pleased sound — as he nuzzles against Max, tucking his face against Max's neck and inhaling deeply. Letting the familiar scent of Max, of home, wash over him. Letting it soothe his soul.

Max lets it soothe his, too.

They don’t speak for the rest of the evening, but they don’t need to. Because as Charles holds on to Max and falls asleep in his arms, Max knows they'll be alright.

They always are, in the end.

#Lestappen prompts #Lestappen fic #My writing #Asks #Ask prompts #Anon #Anon asks #Lestappen #Lestappen drabble

94 notes · View notes

wibixthecowboy · 10 months

Text

Play the Song: Chapter 13: Sweet like Candy

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, choking, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

A/N: Holy Fuck. Excuse my language but jesus. That last quarter literally gutted me. BUT I PERSIST. Here is what I think is the longest chapter by far? idk I haven't checked. Thank you for sticking around for so long. Smooches for everyone, enjoy! Also! I know the chapter links are broken :( , I'll fix them asap!

Words: 7.8k

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

@urfavsunkissedleo@butskii@abbiesxox@itsasecrets-things@thatonewriterthatnooneknows@copiasratscheese @Sheviro-blog @Simonsslvt

★Flash

Dust swirls up into a small cloud, forced into motion by Flash's incessant kicking. It travels a few feet before dissipating into the bitter morning wind. She shivers again in the thin cotton of her pajama shirt and sweats and debates going back in. Debates sliding the small phone back into her pocket, shoving off the single stair in front of the base doors, and throwing herself back into her sheets. They'd be cold by now, it's been nearly an hour since she'd tossed back her blanket, dug the phone out of her duffel bag, and sat herself down outside to call her sister. Well, attempt to call her sister. It's been over five years since they'd last talked, when she'd stuck fifteen-year-old Flash on a transit bus to Arizona with a small backpack of keepsakes and photocopies of her registration papers for the Safford Advanced Military Academy. She’d sent a few letters, from the cramped desk in her first dorm but had never gotten any back. The constant schoolwork was a good distraction but it still stung.

Filling her lungs to a near painful capacity, Flash double checks the faded sticky note her sister had slipped into her pocket so many years ago and then the glowing numbers on her phone before shutting her eyes and jamming her thumb into the call button. Flash's breath is stuck in her throat, stilled in anticipation almost as if its waiting alongside her as the phone rings. Much to her surprise, she picks up by the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

She sticks her head between her knees, absolutely convinced last nights dinner is about to come up but after a few breaths her vision clears and she answers in a rush of air.

"Sarah?"

"Who is this?"

Flash tries to swallow back the disappointment building in her stomach and then,

"Grace? Is that you?"

The dinner does come up now and she barely manages to make it to the sad cluster of shrubs before the sting of bile burns up her throat. The world caves beneath her, sucking her chest through the souls of her feet. It ricochets through her brain, slamming hard at each turn. Grace Grace Grace. She gags again, wiping her mouth on the cold skin of her forearm.

"Hi." She manages, the sound of her voice echoes between her ears. "Yes its me."

"Are you okay- did you just throw up?" Her sister's voice is calm as always, despite not hearing it for several years, the cooling affect is just the same. Sarah was- is the personification of winter. Cold, calm, and biting if you stayed with it for too long. But she's the only person who's ever been there every time Flash really needed her.

"Yeah, I uh," a burning gasp breaks her words and she realizes she hasn't been breathing. "I don't know I think I ate something funny."

"Okay." There's an awkward pause and when Sarah realizes Flash isn't going to say anything she continues. "Did you need something?"

It's at this moment that Flash remembers why she hadn't ever called. Sarah was an expert at talking people off a ledge. Every time Flash got into a fight, Sarah was able to smooth things over with a carefully plated store-bought box of cookies and a sweet smiled promise. But when it came to dealing with Flash and her inferno of a temper, Sarah chose to sit on the sidelines and watch as Flash burnt herself over and over. If it wasn't causing harm to others, Sarah didn't bother. But years of burning herself meant Flash had developed calluses.

"Is Taryn there?" The words are bitter, whether from the bile souring her mouth or the stinging disappointment, she doesn’t know.

Taryn was Sarah's on-and-off girlfriend and the only woman in Flash's life that gave her the softness she so desperately craved. If Sarah was winter, Taryn was Spring. On the days she came over, windows were opened, wildflowers were picked, neatly arranged in vases, and dinner was always something with potatoes. Taryn had made their small two-bedroom crash pad into a home. How Taryn and her sister had made it work was beyond her.

"Um- yeah, she's here. One second."

There's a rustling as Sarah drops the phone from her ear and then a murmuring of voices, even through the lowered phone she can hear the way Sarah's voice softens as she speaks to Taryn. She'd never spoken to Flash that way.

"Gracie?"

"Hello?" Flash's response comes out broken and half-whispered and with all the heavy emotion that she’d secretly hoped she’d feel when speaking with her sister.

"Gracie! Hi!" Taryn's sweet honey voice pours from the speaker, still soft from sleep and the tears building behind Flash's eyes begin to burn. "How are you, sweetheart? It's been forever."

"Good- good. I've been good." She presses her knuckles against her eyes until colors bloom against the backs of her eyelids, unshed tears wetting her fingers. "I just had a question."

"Oh?" There's another round of rustling and Flash can picture her sitting up in bed, blindly grabbing at her side table before fixing the round pair of tortoiseshell glasses she wore over blinking eyes.

"And what's your question?"

"When you met Sarah," Flash rubs a hand roughly down her face before glancing around, "how did you know?"

"How did I know what?" Taryn's interest has clearly been piqued.

"You know." She hesitates before sighing and feeling five years younger, mutters, "That you liked her."

"It took having a crush for you to finally call me?"

"I don't know, maybe?" There’s another silence, but unlike with Sarah, Flash know’s it’s Taryn waiting patiently for her to find the words that sometimes tangled themselves when making the journey from brain to tongue. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize honey. I'm glad you did, it's nice to hear your voice." Then she continues on, like it hasn’t been five years, and when she closes her eyes, Flash can see the pink sundress Taryn had worn the last time she’d seen her. The hem had been stained burgandy the week before by Flash’s impatient blackberry painted fingers. "It was kind of love at first sight.”

Flash, either in a desperate attempt to hear to a story not about the plight of terrorists, or simply because Taryn’s voice made the world brighter, listened to her whole story. How when Taryn had met Sarah, she’d been enthralled, and even more so when Flash had threatened to break her arm if Taryn broke Sarah’s heart. How she’d so quickly decided that Sarah was the one for her despite Sarah’s supposed lack of interest and to both Flash and Taryns dismay, her complete and utter denial of being at least bisexual.

Another kick sends more dirt floating along the breeze and Flash struggles to find a way to ask for advice. ‘I’m actually talking about my lieutenant.’ ‘Oh, you didn’t know? I’m not fifteen anymore, I’ve actually killed several people.’ ‘Anyways, I want to fuck the life out of him but when I touch him he looks like he’s either going to piss his pants or bend me over the counter.’ or maybe just ‘How do I get over the deeply rooted fear of love that my dead father and might-as-well-be-dead sister instilled in me at a young age?’. She’s debating rephrasing the last one when a sharp cry cuts through Taryn’s retelling of her and Sarah’s first date.

“Is that a baby?” Flash’s voice is sharper than she meant it to be. “Do you have-”

She’s cut off by a fake laugh and a breathily muttered ‘no’. Taryn never cut her off.

“No don’t be silly.” Another nervous laugh. “I have to go, Sarah needs me. But do call again! Let me give you my number so you can call my cell next time.”

Flash listens numbly as she prattles off a long list of numbers, more focused on the static noise around her words. Waiting to hear another cry. When it doesn’t come Flash just shakes her head and tunes back in just in time to hear Taryn mutter another ‘goodbye’ and the quiet buzz of a dead line.

She blinks a few times, simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed by the call. And then the last few sentences Taryn had left her with slowly start to trickle to the front of her mind. In a rush, Flash flies through the front doors of the base, nearly dropping her phone in the process, grabs a pen from the table and scribbles the number along her forearm, hoping to god she’d remembered it correctly. Hoping she could survive another icily quipped sentence from her sister if not.

Its then, mouth still gross and breathily reciting Taryn’s number in a desperate attempt to recall the sequence, that the sound of footsteps pulls her attention to the hallway. It’s the team, minus Price who’d left an hour earlier, and only gave Flash a fleeting worried look and a head shake as he passed her on the front steps, to get a headstart in traveling Alejandro’s farmhouse.

Soap leads the group, hands tucked neatly into the front of his cargo pants. Behind him, Gaz is nearly identical in both stature and clothing, but unlike Soap, his hands fall confidently at his sides. Ghost, seemingly the odd one out, trails a few feet behind, dressed sharply as usual, but there are two distinct purple smudges under his eyes. They pass through the poorly crafted living room before each settling in their respective spots at the table, like an aged high school clique. She’s about to make a remark on this when Soap raises a brow at her.

“And what are you doin’ lookin’ like that?” His hand waves up and down her body, at it hunched over the table. “We leave in like-” He glances down at his watch, “An hour?”

Ghost sits down heavily in the chair across from her and his eyes almost immediately fall to the messy set of numbers scrawled on her skin. His dark gaze narrows just the slightest bit and Flash can already see him jumping to conclusions.

“I called my sister.” She blurts out, both to answer Soap and to stop whatever train of thought is starting in Ghost’s head. She’s not sure why she feels the need to defend herself. The three men sitting around her freeze, stopping their respective tasks to listen. “I uh- yeah.”

“How did it go?” Gaz asks smoothly when the silence has stretched just a few seconds too long. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

He slides into the seat next to her, leaning on his arm and giving her just a tad too much concentration. It was times like these when Flash wondered if Gaz operated a black market of gossip, too eager and always asking the right questions.

“We don’t talk.” Flash’s eyes flick up to see Ghost watching her warily. “Not for five years at least.”

Gaz raises his brows but doesn’t say anything, just pitches his mouth down in the corner, enough that Flash know’s he’s no longer fishing for details. Part of her wonders just how much he knows.

She looks across the table at Soap, sitting silent in his chair, picking at his nails, and suddenly becomes aware of the space left between him and Ghost. Now, after hearing Soaps late night confession the day before, the signs are obvious, like Soap has the words ‘I fucked my superior and now we don’t talk about it’ scrawled across his forehead in bright red pen. She clears her throat,

“It was fine, I just called for-” She hesitates, still not quite sure why she’s telling them this. Maybe Taryn’s sweet tongued optimism rubbed off on her too much. “I just needed some sister advice.” Flash finishes with a shrug, hoping the burn on her cheeks isn’t too obvious.

“I get that.” Soap starts, and Flash almost jumps at his voice, deep and raspy from sleep. “I’ve got my own sister. She can be annoyin’ as shit but she’s got some good advice.”

“And what are you getting advice for.” Gaz teases, “You haven’t had game for the last year.” His words falter at the end and Flash doesn’t need any explanation to know he’s talking about Ghost and Soap’s relationship, or whatever the hell Soap had called it. In a quick attempt to smooth things over, she looks expectantly across to Ghost.

“No. No siblings.” He says, and Flash watches the way his eyes fall to the worn table in front of him.

“That's too bad.” Flash says, kicking him lightly under the table, “They’re a pain in the ass anyways.” This time, when he glances back up, she smiles at him with her teeth, remembering the way he’d so carefully parted her lips in the bathroom the night before. Something in his gaze shifts and his mouth moves under his mask, pulling up at the corners. But before she can see the full thing, he’s standing and moving towards the kitchen. Glassware clinks around, he pulls one of the bowls from the cupboard and stands at the sink, waiting awkwardly. She catches on a moment later and sits up.

“I’ll go back to my room while you guys eat.” She says, trying not to let the gesture sting too badly. “I’ve got to pack for the trip anyways.”

As soon as she turns her back, even though she know’s its impossible, the rustling of Ghost pulling off his balaclava echoes through the concrete room. Just incase she has a sudden loss of self control and turns to see him making his breakfast unmasked, Flash speeds up her pace and practically throws herself through her door.

Leaning against the foot of her bed is an empty duffel bag and next to it a small, half-filled laundry sack. In it are the clothes from that night. Just underwear, a tank top, and her favorite pair of cargo pants. All her other layers had either been torn or cut through. They’d been sent through the wash five times now, but every time she’d braved the task of opening the synched bag, a staggering fear grasped her so tightly that she would pull it shut and give it back to Price. He took it wordlessly every time and they would both pretend. Her muttering something about there still being blood and him nodding while sending it along with the rest of the laundry. Both of them knew the clothes were clean, practically washed thin, but she could smell the brine of the sea, the gory mess of the man as he splattered across her shirt without even opening the bag.

So instead of kicking it to the side, or ignoring the sad, knowing look in Price’s eyes as she shoves the unopened sack into his hands again, she picks it up and sets it on the unmade sheets of her bed. Her hands shake violently and it almost makes her laugh, how they vibrate when the canvas whispers open.

On the top of the neatly folded pile is a small scrap of notebook paper. When she leans in closer, she can make out a single line of familiar scratchy handwriting ‘you’ve got this kiddo :)’. Tears burn behind her eyes as she picks the note up and sets it aside, reading it one more time before her eyes are too watery to see, and reaches into the bag to pull out the tank top. Her hands still shake, and the fold is done horribly, one strap sits higher up than the other making the whole thing a bit lopsided, but she finishes. The pants follow suit, folded neater this time. She picks them both up, along with the underwear, and shoves them into their respective drawers before leaning heavily against her dresser.

Taking a shaky breath, Flash turns to slide down the side of the solid wood, wedging herself between the wall and dresser she lets her head fall between her knees. There, away from the view of the laundry bag and clothes, she lets the adrenaline drain down her limbs and through her fingertips that rest on the cold floor. It shakes her body and looses a few broken sobs, but she’s alive and the clothes are folded.

★Ghost

He waits outside of Flash’s door, hand half raised, fingers curled in a fist to knock. Soap had sent him to give her a thirty-minute warning which would now end up being a twenty-five minute warning. Shaking his hand out one more time, he raises his fist, and right as he's about to knock, the door swings open.

Flash stands in front of him, looking down at the duffel bag in her hand. She jerks back when she sees him. Just for a moment, in the few seconds, it takes for her to recover and slide back on her happy-go-lucky smile, he can see the crease at her brow and a small frown tugging the soft shape of her lips down.

“You ready?” She asks, and Ghost nearly forgets that she is the one they’re waiting on.

“Yeah.” He starts, and all the confidence he had built, all the words he’d carefully laid out for hours the night before wash away at the sight of her. “We uh- Gaz took the Jeep.” Flash nods for him to continue, and he does after another deep breath. “You, me, and Soap will be taking the truck with the rest of the equipment.”

Flash watches him carefully, eyes flicking over every inch of skin his mask leaves uncovered. It’s this hungry gaze of hers, the one that scares the shit out of him, that she gives him before responding. Completely ignoring his words.

“You didn’t sleep?” She says but doesn’t wait for him to answer. “Me neither.”

Flash shoves her bag into his hand and jogs towards the front door, already arguing with Soap about her “perfectly valid” license. He carries both their bags in one arm and decides that it's the weight of their bags that is slowing him down. Not the fact that Soap reaching the truck first meant he and Flash would be stuck in the back together, strapped to a single bench. He wanted to thank whatever officer had replaced the passenger seat with a now out-of-date comms system.

_____

An hour in, Flash’s cheek is pressed hard into the knuckles of her fist and a shiny patch of drool starting at the corner of her mouth. He both envies her sleep abilities and fears them.

When his eyes drift back to the landscape outside the windshield, his gaze catches on Soap watching them through the rearview. He struggles to remember if the mirror used to be angled down that far or if Soap had intentionally moved it to watch them.

“So things are getting pretty serious?” He asks, not taking his eyes off the poorly paved road in front of him. Although he says it jokingly, Ghost can see the underlying curiosity, maybe even a twinge of jealousy.

“We’re not doing this right now Johnny.” Ghost grumbles, keeping his arms tight over his chest, as if they could create a barrier against Soap’s prying eyes. He knows better. Years of using little to no communication during deployment meant that learning each other's body language was critical, especially in cramped bunks.

Soap just shakes his head, still not taking his eyes off the road. Ghost can practically watch the countdown until his next snarky remark. A slow scrunch of his brow, followed by a slight downturn of his mouth, before- right on the mark, Soap drags a rough hand down the left side of his face before finally speaking.

“Has she seen you without your mask?”

Ghost’s eyes snap to Soap’s, still waiting for biting words to follow, to snap at a tender spot only he knows how to find. Instead it’s something much, much, worse.

“Just remember what happened last time.”

The words slither through the air between them, squeezing around his ribs before sliding down to stoke the coals of fear burning in his stomach. The cab of the truck is too small and suddenly the heat of Flash’s body pressed so close is so present in his mind that if he doesn’t back away he might just- stop. Stop.

“Pull over.” He mumbles, staring into the dead space between horizon and road.

Soap obliges wordlessly, slowing the truck to a slow roll before stopping in a cloud of dust on the shoulder. Ghost steps out, stumbling over the edge of the pavement as he braces his hands against his knees and heaves great breaths of warm desert air.

The sound of a door opening behind him has his shoulders raising to his ears, a poor imitation of hackles.

“Stop!” He clears his throat before lowering his voice and trying again. “I’m fine. Get back in the truck.”

But the sound of footsteps persists, light and barely audible, despite the thin layer of gravel coating the road and landscape around them. When he turns, Flash is standing behind him. Her face is pink with sleep, an impression of the seatbelt running from her mouth to her ear, and one side of her hair has been rubbed upward, making her braided hair lopsided. When her eyes fall on his hunched shoulders, the freckled bridge of her nose scrunches.

“Whats going on?” She asks suddenly, growing more aware. “Are you getting sick?”

When he doesn’t answer, she steps closer, resting a hand between his shoulder blades. Ghost can't help the low sound that pushes from his chest. She keeps it there, rubbing circles into the expanse between his shoulder blades.

“It’s okay,” Flash starts, still soothing his hunched shoulders back down. “I get sick too, just on plane rides. I don’t know what it is.” She laughs once, bright and musical. “Maybe the forty thousand feet in the air bit.”

Ghost’s breaths come easier now, in through his nose and streamlined from his pursed lips, the way his psychiatrist had shown him. The small pouch of his pills sit comfortingly in his breast pocket, but he lets them stay there. Finally, he turns to face Flash, reluctantly letting the warmth of her palm fall from his back.

“Yeah.” The word comes out staticky, like when the comms are just a bit too far apart. “That part is pretty shitty.” He doesn’t know why he’s agreeing with her. He’s never once felt an ounce of fear flying on a plane. There’s no point when everything is already so far out of his control. But when her lips split and reveal an amused smile he understands why.

“C’mon.” Flash grasps his hand, pulling him back towards the truck. He hadn’t realized just how far he’d stumbled. “I’m sure we have something in the truck for nausea.”

Ghost just nods and follows her lead, sliding smoothly onto the bench of the truck and shutting the door behind him. Flash carefully slips her pinky finger around his, squeezing tightly. And that single act sends a rush of heat through his chest both pleasant and burning. She knew. She knew damn well he wasn’t car sick. Soap says nothing.

Instead of folding his hands underneath his arms like usual, Ghost lets them be. One gently grasping the safety handle, and the other tucked neatly under Flash’s tracing fingers. And does his best to ignore the eyes watching them from the mirror.

★Flash

Flash, in a desperate attempt to get out of the truck, barely manages to let it stop before bursting out and jogging a few short laps around the vehicle.

“Jesus kid.” Soap swears, stepping out of the cab and stretching his arms overhead. “Weren’t you just sleeping like-” a disbelieving glance at his wristwatch, “three minutes ago.”

“Four fucking hours.” She bites as Ghost slides from the back. “That’s basically abuse.”

In a desperate attempt to relieve the cramping behind her thighs, Flash bends forward, slipping her hands under her sneakers. A relieved moan splits her lips, muffled into the fabric of her pants. Careful not to go light-headed, she slowly straightens out before reaching her hands above her and pushing her chest out. It feels fucking amazing.

When she finishes and turns to the two guys behind her, she can’t help but laugh. Ghost’s face is turned away, eyes downcast in a way that promises Flash his cheeks are burning hot. Soap glances between the two of them before laughing loudly and stalking off toward the large building that, in Flash’s humble opinion, does not look anything like a farmhouse. If it weren’t for the large yellow barn nestled into the field next to it, the large concrete building would probably look like a prison.

Flash is about to follow after Soap, both eager to get to the briefing, and much to her annoyance, nervous to see Alejandro and Valeria, when a gentle hand grasps her elbow. She turns to find Ghost, still hovering near the car, one hand held behind his back.

“Whats up?” She asks, eyeing his hidden hand and taking a few curious steps towards him.

“I uh-” Ghost stutters in a way that two days before would leave Flash shellshocked, but after seeing him so vulnerable the night before, she just nods for him to continue. “I have something for you.”

“Ooh a gift?” Flash says, trying to peek around his body, but the bulk of his shoulders easily blocks her vision.

“It’s nothing, really. Just something small. I didn’t think you had one and you were looking at it. Then there was that guy.” He rambles, ducking his head slightly.

Flash has to squeeze her hands into fists to keep from grabbing his face and kissing him. Even through the mask would be better than nothing, but the few moments of silence that lapse between his rambles and her watching the way his hand endearingly fidgets at his belt helps her somewhat regain her self control.

“If it’s important to you. It’s important to me.” She says softly and steps closer. “Now let me see.”

He hesitates for one more second before pulling his hand from behind him and showing her a folded blue square in his hand. Flash’s heart stops for a moment and then starts back up so fast that she nearly passes out. It’s the cerulean scarf she’d seen at the market.

“Ghost-” Her voice catches as she reaches up and pulls the silk from his hand, mouth suddenly dry.

“I just thought it would help, the dust is bad and- I think I got the right one, the blue right-”

He’s cut off with a huff as Flash throws herself against him. She wraps her arms around his chest squeezing hard. The rough velco of his vest scrapes her cheek, and something is pushing painfully against her ear, but she doesn’t let go.

“Thank you.” She says quietly.

The words, muffled into his chest, are barely audible. He doesn’t respond, but a few moments later, she feels a hand rest lightly against her shoulderblades. When she doesn’t let go, his other hand slides up, pulling her into him.

“Let's head in,” Flash says, reluctantly pulling away and sliding her hand into his, before tugging him towards the "farmhouse".

They make it just a few paces before he slides his hand from hers and takes two measured steps in front of her. Flash is about to question him, but leaning against the open door of the farmhouse is Alejandro, handsome as ever.

"We've been waiting." He nods to Ghost, shifting out of the doorway to let him pass. Flash watches him go with a confused glare. "Everything okay Rubia."

"Yeah," She breathes, brushing past him without looking at his face. "Everything's fine."

_____

Much to her disappointment. The briefing is not as entertaining as she’d thought it would be. Both Alejandro and Price would be making final decisions tonight. This briefing was only to go over the information they already knew. But she still listened diligently and took her notes at appropriate times. Alejandro didn’t do so much as glance in her direction as he spoke, both he and Valeria remained impassive during the meeting. It made Flash wonder how many of the people sitting around her had shared a bed with them. Her eyes land on Gaz, who seems to be a little too focused on Alejandro's hands as he retraces a path on one of the topograph maps. She glances over to Ghost, hoping to point his attention to Gaz and his drooling mouth, but he stays facing the front of the room. Even when she stares at him, practically burning holes into the back of his masked head, he doesn’t turn around. So when the lights shut off and the projector whirs to life, she grabs the pen resting next to his paper, making a point to doodle little hearts at the corner of her paper when he finally looks her way. Instead of shaking his head and laughing like he usually does in response to her minor thievery, he pulls another pen from his pocket and holds it in his hand.

Annoyed at Ghost's sudden coldness and bored out of her mind, Flash turns to Gaz to whisper in his ear,

“Do you think if you stare at his crotch enough, you’ll see through his pants?”

His face goes bright red and a stuttered cough cuts off the briefing.

“You okay Gaz?” Alejandro asks, raising a dark brow as Gaz hits his chest with a fist, still coughing.

“Yes, sir. Fine.” Gaz mutters.

Alejandro continues on, using a meter stick to draw an invisible line down a projected image of a warehouse.

Flash leans back to Gaz’s ear again, feeling malicious. “Is that what you call him in the bedroom? Sir?”

This time Gaz chokes, coughing wildly as Flash bites back a smile and forces her brows to pinch in concern as she pats his back.

She does get Ghost's attention this time, but much to her disappointment, yet again, it's just a small shake of his head. Flash glares pointedly back.

“What is going on. Are you sure you’re okay?” Alejandro asks again.

“I’m going to go grab some water and air, I’ll be right back.” Gaz bites out between coughs.

Flash lasts another two and a half minutes after he leaves before muttering something about checking on Gaz and wandering out of the room and down the hall.

It’s here, with fists shoved deep into her pockets that she passes a set of double doors propped open to reveal a small training room. It's modest compared to the one back at their base. The back wall is decorated with an assortment of real and fake weapons and a thick green mat covers the stained cement. A bright red sign nailed to one of the doors threatens suspension to anyone who brings the weapons out of the confinements of the training room. She's about to walk by, wanting to slip out of the building and explore the barn. But her curiosity wins over and she hovers in the dim hallway.

Once Flash is there, watching the fighting pairs, she's surprised it took her so long to hear the grunting and unmistakable thud of bodies bouncing off worn foam. One of the men leaning against the back wall, who'd been intently watching a rather unfair match play out, starts towards her in a slow prowl. The challenge is clear, confidence leaks from him like a poison, and his eyes scan her body, lingering for a few seconds on her chest. She recognizes him from the meeting, but can't quite remember his name. Liam? Larson?

"Get er' Lucas!" One of the guys calls, following with a series of whooping howls. She sends him a withering glare and is about to stalk away to find Gaz when her drifting eyes catch on a brightly colored package peaking from Lucas' pocket. Maybe just one match and then she'd find him.

"What do you say Rubia? Just you and me?" He stops just a few feet from her, close enough that she can smell the sweat that sticks the front of his shirt to his muscled chest.

She has to bite back a laugh at the stuttered way Alejandro's pet name falls from his lips. A far cry from the other man's smoothness. It's not that Lucas isn't attractive, his body is well-shaped and thick dark hair falls into a pair of bright hazel eyes. If she wasn't so busy at the academy she might have even gone for a guy like him. But all she can think of is Ghost's kind eyes and if she's being honest, the shape of his ass in one of the heli harnesses. She doesn't have to see Lucas's backside to know it'll pale in comparison.

"I don't know." Flash looks him up and down, letting the boredom in her eyes shine. "You look a little," she waves one hand around as if it will pull the word from thin air "small."

Lucas flinches back, obviously not used to being rejected.

"Then it should be quick, no?" His smile is back now, and just as flirty as before.

She relents, “Rules?” She prompts, stretching her shoulders and removing the belt from her waist, doing her best to ignore the pinch as her stitched skin pulls taught.

“Clean fight. First one to tap loses.”

Flash nods and smiles widely, more than eager to move after sitting for the past five hours. Lucas smiles wide, almost looking feral with a pair of pointed canines.

She follows him to the mat and they square up, him guarding high over his jaw and her standing still, hands at her side. Someone behind them shouts a command and Lucas is lunging, striking hard and fast towards her exposed midsection. She easily sidesteps him, having seen the flex in his exposed calf muscle just a moment before. Childs play.

Flash lets him lunge, easily dancing around his brutally thrown fists and elbows as he tires himself out. She can already tell he’s used to using his weight as an advantage rather than a tool. Much like every other man she’s fought.

After a particularly poorly timed left hook, Lucas lets out a frustrated growl. Taking pity on him, Flash sighs before darting towards him. In just under two seconds, she’s slipped her leg behind his knees and with one shove of her elbow has him sprawled on the mat, blinking widely. In another second, she’s locked her bicep over his neck and tightened her legs around his chest in a breath-squeezing grip.

When he doesn’t stop squirming, her bicep tightens around his throat, "Tap." She orders, calm and unwavering. "You've already lost."

Nails scrape at her grip leaving angry red scratches against the back of her hand and wrist. She winces but doesn't relent. His gasping lips have turned pale and the veins at his forehead bulge against sweating skin. If he doesn't tap he'll pass out, she's sure of it. His fingers scratch at her hand again, but this time they’re fumbling and slow. The men surrounding her are shouting at him to fight back and Flash wonders if they're too ignorant to see that the lack of oxygen has left his limbs useless, or if they're just that dumb.

Just as his eyes start to roll back, there's a weak tap against her outer thigh. She immediately releases and Lucas scrambles back against the mat, shoving her to the side in the process, and hunches over, violently coughing between gags.

"What the fuck." He spits out, still curled into himself, red face inches above the dirty mat. "What the fuck is wrong with you."

Pushing herself to her feet, Flash stalks towards him and jabs a finger at his sweating glare. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She wasn't about to let him make her feel guilty, he'd started it, she just saw it through.

Lucas just stares at her with bloodshot eyes and the room around them stays silent. Nosy Bastards.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with you." She continues, stepping forward to rub the dirty tread of her shoe against the white of his shirt before leaning down, their faces just inches apart. "You're too slow."

He says nothing, even as she reaches over and snatches the cellophane bag of sweets from his pocket.

_____

Happily picking through the bag of candy she’d so fairly won, Flash wanders the property kicking rocks and half-assedly looking for Gaz. Just before she's about to turn and head back, she stumbles upon a smell that she can only describe as animal.

When Flash stops in front of the open barn doors, her jaw drops. One of the biggest horses she’d ever seen stands before her, lazily chewing on a mouthful of hay. She has to crane her head upward to see the ginger mane falling in neat tendrils over a huge, muscled neck. It's as beautiful as it is terrifying.

The horse's nose is soft like plush velvet when she runs a single finger across it, and surprisingly warm. The deep chestnut of its eyes stays relaxed and half-lidded so she strokes it again, this time with her palm. When she does, warm puffs of air blow against her hand and she jumps back, heart racing. The horse seems to sense this and with its long, nimble legs, lowers itself to the ground, nestling into the dry hay bed at her feet. Following it down, Flash drops to her knees and sits back against her heels, feeling braver now that they’re nearly face to face. Well, face to muzzle.

“You aren’t so mean. Huh?” She speaks softly, pressing her palm between the dark, watchful eyes and feeling the warmth of its skin. “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“She’s a girl.”

Flash falls backward, feet slipping from under her in the slick hay when a deep voice calls out from behind her. But large hands are under her arms in seconds, pulling her up and to her feet.

Ghost stands in front of her now, mouth quirked into a small smile under the cotton of his mask. “That’s the second time I’ve had to keep you from knockin’ yourself out.” His hands linger, squeezing her biceps reassuringly before dropping to his sides. “How often does this happen when I’m not around?”

“I- what?” Flash’s heart still beats wildly in her chest, partially from nearly cracking her head off the paved ground, but mostly from the looming presence in front of her. “What?”

“She’s a girl.” Ghost continues, choosing not to repeat his question. “Maple I think. One of Alejandro’s first girls. She’s a sweetheart.” He steps closer to Flash and for a moment she thinks he’s about to grab her, but then he’s reaching past her to rest a hand on the patch of cream-colored fur her own had been resting against just minutes before. Maple's eyes close and she pushes against his hand, moving to nose his palm. Ghost responds by loosening each finger of his glove before pulling it off and tucking it in his waistband. Flash watches intently as he returns his hand to the spot and smooths it upwards, following the patch of cream between her eyes.

“Do you still have that candy?”

Ghost's voice snaps her back and with burning cheeks, she pulls the small plastic bag from her pocket, feeling a pinch of shame at being caught but called out. “How did you know?”

“One of the guys was complaining.” He starts before turning to look at her, his brow furrows slightly at the scratches covering the back of her hand and forearm, but it eases when he glances up at her face. “And your mouth is bright red.”

Handing the bag to him, Flash uses the back of her other hand to wipe at her lips but it’s no use. “Horses can have candy?” She asks, now scrubbing her mouth with the sleeve of her fleece.

Ghost responds by pulling one of the round, brightly colored candies and placing it on the flat of his bare palm before extending it to Maple.

“Some.” He speaks lowly and in a calming tone that Flash knows is for the horse's sake, but she can't help but melt all the same. Maple picks the candy up with the soft skin of her lips before crunching it between a powerful set of teeth. “This stuff is just dyed sugar. They sell it everywhere.”

Then he’s grabbing her hand, flattening her fingers with a gentle swipe before setting a purple one on her palm. It's only when he starts to move her arm towards Maple's giant mouth that she jerks back, closing the candy tight in her palm. It’s sticky and in just a few seconds starts to melt against the heat of her skin.

“Keep your hand flat.” His hand curls around her forearm to grasp her wrist. “I promise she won’t bite. Open.”

At his command, Flash opens her palm and with shaking fingers, lets him guide her arm outwards with his hand wrapped reassuringly around her wrist. At the last moment, Flash shuts her eyes tight, not wanting to see the grisly sight of her fingers being ground to a pulp. But she’s only met with Maple’s warm breath and the tickle of whiskers as her soft lips take the sticky candy from her hand. A nervous laugh bubbles up from her own mouth, a mix of relief and joy at the strange feeling.

“See,” Ghost's voice vibrates from a warm chest, nearly pressed against her back. His hand still grips her wrist, “I told you she wouldn’t bite.”

“I trust you.” Flash says to their hands, “I just don’t trust the horse.”

“Give her another. This time with your eyes open.” She doesn’t ask how he knew her eyes were closed.

With open eyes, Flash lets Ghost set another candy, a bright orange one, onto her palm. Her wrist, still encompassed by his gentle hand, moves on its own accord towards Maple’s brown muzzle. She takes it just as sweetly as before, in a soft kiss of whiskers.

Flash does laugh this time, a sweet laugh that has her falling back a step with the effort, right into Ghost.

When she turns to apologize, still laughing, the words die on her tongue. He stares down at her, eyes wide and burning with so much emotion her breath catches in her throat. His own breath comes shakily through his nose as he brings a hand up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear before dropping it back to his side.

“Do you want to ride her?” He whispers, still staring intently at her face.

“Fuck no.” Flash breathes. But she doesn’t stop him as he pulls a saddle off a post and begins to strap it to a now-standing Maple. She doesn’t stop him when he lifts her like a rag doll and places her in the saddle, or when he gracefully swings himself up to sit behind her. And she doesn’t stop him when he reaches around her to hold the brown leather reins and guide them out and onto a dirt trail. She could have, but she doesn’t.

She’d severely underestimated the proximity that riding a horse with someone requires. Every inch of their bodies molded together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. It’s glorious. She can’t help but settle back a bit, reveling in the way his arms wrap around her shoulders.

The setting sun shines orange and yellow across the tan field, turning it into an ocean of waving ochre honey, and the rest of the green flowing forest into a golden meadow. It seeps into her very bones, dragging her heartbeat to a dull thump that sounds in time with the gentle rocking of Maple's steps. She shifts further back, now laying entirely across Ghost's chest and nestling into the warm spot between his neck and shoulder. It smells delightfully of sweat, oranges, and dirt. He stiffens at first, she doesn’t know if it’s surprise or discomfort, but he relaxes just a moment later, resting his chin gently atop her head. And there, nestled in the warmth of his embrace and lulled by the swaying steps of sweet Maple. Flash closes her eyes and wills her mind to remember every detail, begs her body not to forget the gentle shift of muscle against her back as Ghost directs them down a rough path he seems to know so well.

“You’ve done this before?” Her question is quiet, spoken through a drowsy fog.

Ghost moves the reins to one hand and uses the other to gently knit their fingers together, the way she’d done in his truck. Here in her sleep-drunk state, the effort it takes for him to fit his fingers between her own smaller ones is too comical. “Yes,” His thumb rubs up and down the ridges of her knuckles, no doubt soothing his own nerves, “I’ve spent a lot of time here. Alejandro has done a lot for me.”

“With the horses?”

“Well,” he starts, hesitatingly, “A few years ago, I was having a rough time. Things were not going my way.” A large breath presses his chest tightly against her back “Alejandro let me stay with him for as long as I needed.”

“So you became a cowboy?” She teases, squeezing his hand tight.

“Not right away,” he laughs lightly and Flash involuntarily presses back into the sound, “I was scared shitless. Alejandro had to practically force me into the barn. But then I learned more about them. How compassionate and loving they are. Did you know they can have a whole conversation with just their ears?”

Flash hums encouragingly, hoping he’ll keep talking, if only to feel his voice against her back.

“They can love too. They’ll bond to someone, and love them the same way a human would. Real love.” An eager note shifts his voice, something Flash had never heard before.

“And did you bond with Maple?” Flash speaks into the soft cotton of his jacket.

“No,” a sigh tickles the soft hair at her nape “though we did get close. I have another horse. Her name is Rose.”

“Pretty name.” Flash hums “Where is she?”

Ghost stiffens again, and this time it takes him a few more beats to settle back and even longer to respond.

“She’s being cared for by my neighbor.”

“What’s she look like?” Flash’s voice is drifting, and the lids of her eyes seem impossibly heavy. She starts to imagine his home. A cupboard filled with chipped mugs and a wooden drying rack next to a deep basin sink. She’s decided that he’s not one to use a dishwasher.

“Golden hair,” his hand reaches up to tug at a strand of her own and she bats a hand at him, completely missing through her half-lidded gaze. “Blue eyes.” He’s brushing his hand along her cheekbone now and the feeling is like a magnet, tugging her eyes closed with a final drag down the bridge of her nose. “And a fiery temperament.”

“Are you calling me a horse?” Flash mumbles, half incoherent. But Ghost manages to decipher it and laughs breathily.

“No, I’m just noticing some similarities.” His hand reaches up to smooth the hair at her temple. Its awfully delightful.

“You keep doing that I’m going to fall asleep.” She threatens, even though they both know she’s far past salvation.

“That’s okay.” His hand drops to wrap around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. “I won’t let you fall.”

“Okay.”

And for the first time since the incident, Flash falls asleep without the anxiety of what she’ll miss, what will pull her from her sheets, screaming and clawing. For the first time in weeks, she falls asleep in the sweet embrace of safety.

A/N: You cannot tell me that Flash isn't an ass woman. She's going to be grabbing handfuls soon.

Also the idea of Ghost hyper fixating on horses AUGGHH HES TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

Anywaysss, thank you for sticking with me through all of this. I love all of you and will talk to you again very soon!

#Ghost x reader #Ghost x female oc #SImon riley #Cod fic #Simon Ghost Riley #Alejandro Vargas #Valeria #Modern Warfare 2 #Ghost stories #Headcannons #John soap mactavish #John Price #MW2 #Gaz Garrick

94 notes · View notes

zxal · 2 years

Text

It's always been sort of weird how Young Xehanort is such an unapologetic little asshole the whole time he's time traveling, mocking Sora about his inevitable demise to the last moment as he fades away (while even Xemnas and Ansem get moments of humanity before their deaths). It's notably different from how he comes off in KHDR, where he can be sassy with Eraqus sometimes but is mostly just cool and aloof—more like he's a bit withdrawn than anything else.

The scene that I think connects these different aspects of his personality is his meeting with the Master of Masters, which we see in both Re:Mind and KHDR. Xehanort is playing it cool, but he's also letting a bit of his true feelings shine through: he doesn't quite want to agree with MoM about the idea that there's two types of people—the strong and the weak. He's thinking about the world with nuance.

"And even if I was either type, it doesn't mean that I carry those dark intentions." But then MoM reminds him of his own history with darkness—"Is that what your experience tells you?" That's what MoM seems to be best at—planting a seed of doubt and letting it grow on its own.

And it does. YX goes out and sees the world and become convinced of the conclusion MoM was leading him towards. And when he returns, MoM tells him exactly what he wants to hear: that he's the one who has the power to make a difference. That he's destined for greatness. Xehanort believes, deeply and truly, that he is the child of destiny. He's the chosen one. And if that means he has the power to prevent what happened in Scala from ever happening again, wouldn't he want that?

And extrapolating, I think we can tell that Master Xehanort, his future self, uses the same tactic, appealing to his own sense of exceptionalism. He brings Young Xehanort to the future and tells him that he will fulfill his destiny, everything is set in motion, and he just needs to play his role. "That is my destiny, but it has yet to become a reality." Young Xehanort sees the future and wants to believe so badly that it's the destiny he wants. And how could it not be? It's him.

In KH3, the YX moment that sticks out to me the most is this incredibly odd exchange in the iconic Toy Box scene. YX is his usual villainous self, mocking and monologuing, and then Sora rushes at him and he says this:

And it doesn't sound sinister. It's not a taunt or jeer. He says it hushed and almost hurried, as if afraid someone is listening.

Which could be true. Young Xehanort, weirdly, holds a piece of Master Xehanort's heart in him, doesn't he? I think it got buried in interviews, but recall the YX boss fight at the end of DDD. The reason Mickey reacts the way he does to YX moving during stopped time is because he recognizes that isn't Young Xehanort— it's Master Xehanort, briefly inhabiting YX as a vessel.

He's become a puppet of his future self, an extremely literal self-fulfilling prophecy. It leaves Woody calling Xehanort "hollower than any toy" in the earlier scene ring incredibly different. Did he want any of this? Did he even have a choice?

We still don't know exactly when YX time travels from, but it's got to be fresh off of the events of KHDR. Especially since his dialogue with MoM, which happens one year post-KHDR, seems to imply it's happened already at that point. I wonder if his old classmate rubbed off on him in some way—the theatrics, the boasting and posturing. But that's what it is—he's playing a role. It's the hand he's been dealt. It's all he has. (Which leads me back to thinking about Xehanort & Xion parallels, Xion as the 14th organization member, Xehanort saying "no, wait—fourteen lives", Xion saying "this puppet will have to play her part"...and, interestingly, YX and Xion being next to each other in the Real Organization's hierarchy: YX as no. 12, Xion as no. 13. The lowest among their ranks. The least worthy of respect.)

#kh #kh meta #khdr #khdr spoilers #long post ish #no conclusions only thoughts rattling around like marbles #i'll probably have more thoughts once i rewatch ddd + kh3 #xehanort my son who has every disease #.txt

349 notes · View notes

nayeonline · 5 months

Text

My Top 15 K-Pop Songs of 2023

I genuinely don't know how, but somehow we have made it to December 10 2023, exactly 1 year after my top songs of 2022 post which I've decided to make a permanent thing on this blog. This year I was a lot more organized with formulating this list - I created a spotify playlist in January, and any kpop songs I cared about this year I added to it in chronological order. This list includes songs released between 2022/12/10 and 2023/12/10, and is entirely based on my personal opinion - feel free to let me know ur top songs of the year in the comments and rbs <33

(15) BYOB (bring your own best friend) (English Ver.) - Billlie

I just know some eyebrows are being raised but HEAR ME OUT, this song just speaks to me. It’s not a club banger, it's not an anthemic stadium hit, but it is something for the girlies, and I love it.

(14) Girls' Capitalism - TripleS LOVElution

What a hilarious concept for a song, TripleS is too good. Is this song literally just ‘Generation’ the sequel? Yes! I don’t care!! It’s really good!!!

(13) Standing Next To You - Jungkook (BTS)

Now I’m not an army, and none of Jungkook’s previous singles really spoke to me, they were catchy of course but not for me. This song, on the other hand, is artistry. His passion for what he does is so obvious in this song, I am severely impressed.

(12) Spicy - aespa

Aespa just KNOWS how to do a concept. So many other groups would feel stagnant with the futuristic concept, but aespa keep reinventing themselves perfectly while retaining a sound that is so distinctly them. Spicy is peak girl pop; Ningning you outdid yourself on this one.

(11) Drama - aespa

Can aespa release a bad title track??? Drama would probably be higher if it came out earlier, but based on the month I’ve been listening to it, this is an absolute punch up for aespa. Our stint in the real world was fun and all, but we’re in kwangya again and it feels fucking good. Aespa, keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll keep streaming.

(10) Fast Forward - JEON SOMI

People didn’t like this song this year, but I fucking loved it and this is my list. As a UK resident and 80s music enjoyer, this spoke to me on a molecular level. I know it's trashy, I know it's been done before, I don't care. Fast Forward is amazing.

(9) In Bloom - ZEROBASEONE

Category is: Boy Group Kpop (but it's actually good). Pure excellence, this is how to sample a classic song, this is how to debut, this is how to break the mold of boy groups and do it with actually good music (cough cough boynextdoor cough cough). Imagine if they kept this energy for their first comeback. Imagine lol

(8) Cherry Talk - TripleS +(KR)ystal Eyes

People (including tripleS stans) loooveee to shit on this song but it’s literally their best song since Generation, and I will stand by that. This is extremely LOONA coded, if you don’t like it, that must suck for you. BOOM CHERRY TALK CHERRY CHERRY TALK.

(7) Cool With You - NewJeans

They’re literally too good. I have no words.

(6) ETA - NewJeans

NewJeans said this year that being consistent hitmakers is easy actually, this song is fucking excellent. Controversially, I love the production, it's so funky and subversive. I got this song from day dot, if you get it you get it, if you don’t you don’t, and if you don’t I feel sorry for you xx

(5) Attitude - fromis_9

This is fromis_9’s second time showing up very high on my yearly roundups, I’m thinking I need to pay more attention to them. This song is the shit I live for in kpop, its SO HIGH QUALITY. Not a second wasted in this song, just pure goodness throughout. Fromis’s ability to be so extremely on trend never ceases to amaze me. This song is really fucking good, and the whole album is too good as well. Fromis_9, you have my attention. (that actually wasn’t on purpose lol)

(4) Air Force One - ODD EYE CIRCLE

Utter euphoria. That’s what this song feels like. LOONA had a rough 2022, and orbits were feeling it. We were boycotting and fighting for the girls to be free of that fucking company, and when we won, we were happy of course, but mostly exhausted. Then Odd Eye Circle dropped ‘Air Force One’. This song feels like a second wind, it builds up and up from the first second, tension rising, exhaustion fading and then ‘ready set and GO’ and its ANTHEMIC. You can exhale now, the work is done, LOONA is fucking back.

(3) OMG - NewJeans

Oh look, more NewJeans. The audacity to release one of the best songs of the year on January 2nd is crazy. ‘OMG’ is so effortlessly catchy, it’s ridiculous. It’s full to the brim of hooks and creative melodies, this is pop music at its best. It’s serotonin in a song, and the ability and self assurance of the members in their skills is palpable, and oozes from the seams of the track. In a somewhat forgettable year of Kpop, NewJeans were constantly reinventing and redefining what a hit is, and OMG is the physical form of that. Congratulations NewJeans, nobody is doing it like you.

(2) Sugarcoat (NATTY Solo) - KISS OF LIFE

I am being deadly serious when I say this song altered something in my brain. I struggle to comprehend how much I love this song, and I’m struggling even more to express that in words. I found Kiss of Love’s other debut songs to be quite fun, but this song eclipses anything they have ever and will ever release. Natty is such a powerhouse, I am in awe of her skill. If you haven’t heard this song, which is upsettingly likely as while this song had a moment on TikTok earlier this year, it was still a quite niche trend that didn’t last long, PLEASE go and listen, this was the best song released in 2023. But, this list doesn’t just include 2023. It also includes that tiny window after December 10 when literally no one releases music. No one except…

(1) Ditto - NewJeans

Ditto is one of those songs where you listen to it for the first time and you’re left a little bit speechless at the end. I don’t think I’m ever going to forget this song, or how it makes me feel. Ditto has changed the kpop industry forever, and it will go down in history as a defining moment of the genre. It’s melancholic and nostalgic and heartfelt, it's laughing through your tears, it’s hugging your best friend before you go your separate paths in life. I still get a little tug on my heart whenever Hyein’s beautiful intro vocals come in, and I think I always will. NewJeans, you’ve released a lot of amazing music this year, but thank you especially for this one, I’ll love it forever.

15 notes · View notes

bukvarsbitch · 5 months

Text

An unofficial, very personal to my tastes, and unnecessary ranking of all of the songs in Nerdy Prudes Must Die

(typed on my laptop so you know shit's real)

I think it goes without saying this is all my opinion. All of the songs are genuinely good, even the ones I don’t love/like! That being said, here’s my ranking just because I’ve been thinking about this a little bit and I want to put it outside my brain.

15: Dirty Dudes Must Die Look, I get it. It’s a twist, it’s a time for Angela to slay. That’s all good and fine. I just don’t love the placement and it didn’t feel like an ending to me. That being said, “darkness will save my soul” goes HARD.

14: The Best of You People keep putting this high up, which I respect, but I can’t resonate with. Someone said it felt very DCOM to them, and I think that might be why I don’t love it; it just feels really tonally different, and not in the way that Just for Once is that’s a clear differentiation for a whole slew of reasons. It’s a totally fine song, I just don’t love it as a fake-out closer. It just doesn’t work for my brain.

13: Cool as I Think I Am (Reprise) I love a sad reprise as much as anyone else; for some reason, this one just really doesn’t vibe with me. No thoughts about why, I just always skip the last three songs on the soundtrack because I don’t love them.

12: Go Go Nighthawks Okay, so we’ve finally gotten past the songs that I just don’t like lol. I actually really like this song! I think it’s cute tonally and it gets off the really artificial and saccharine world that’s about to come crumbling down. Also, the “squawk squawk” always gets stuck in my head for some reason. It’s only this low because it’s not one that I’d put on repeat.

11: The Summoning Someone’s going to dox me for this, but I really don’t love The Summoning as a whole number. It goes hard, don’t get me wrong; I actually ADORE everything before the Lords of Black come in. Mariah, Angela, and Joey’s vocals blend SO beautifully, and the ensemble whispers are HAUNTING. I love, love, love it. The rest of the song is still awesome and I get why people like it, but I don’t love it until the ensemble comes back in towards the end. I also don’t love the start-and-stop of it; if they were going to do that, I feel like keeping everything singing would’ve worked better? I just feel a bit like the energy falters a little. That being said, I still really really like this song.

10: Just for Once I’m a sucker for this genre of musical; my favorite musicals are almost all from this era, and I really like this song on the soundtrack. I don’t actually love it in the show, but I really appreciate it as a number on the soundtrack. It made me understand Ruth a lot more (I liked her before, but I really GOT her after), but I didn’t love how it fit into the show at first, I think because Lauren’s vocals are a little different on the soundtrack compared to the proshot. A banger!

9: Cool as I Think I Am It’s a solid act one number! I’m actually fairly neutral about it, but I still love the way it sounds so it’s higher just because I’m more likely to put it on repeat. I also just love this occurrence of “I’m not a loser” and its later recurrence.

8: Bury the Bully Everyone seems to not like this and bully the bully??? I really like these songs; I think they’re super catchy and they’re a great comedic song for Angela to really get Grace into our hearts (more than she already was). This one’s only lower because I prefer the way the lyrics flow in bully the bully.

7: Bully the Bully I could listen to this song for literal years. I love it so much. Justice for bully the bully lol.

6: If I Loved You I’ve listened to this song SO MUCH. Firstly, Joey and Mariah’s voices go together SO FUCKING WELL. Secondly, “sure, I’m a sapiosexual, you’re intellectual, but I cut my lover losses when I can” is not only one of my favorite lines in the show but it also SO BEAUTIFUL. I think this song is just a great addition to the second act, and I really love it.

5: Dirty Girl Okay, so I will admit: when I first watched the show, I skipped this song. And then, after I finished the show, I went back and listened. I was so wrong, y’all. This is not only a god tier song, it’s also a great way to establish Grace’s absolute fucking insanity alongside Max’s (also) fucking insanity. Grace’s “I’m a good girl”s are such a good addition to the song and her character. I really, really love this song, and I think it’s a great place to start for my top five lol.

4: Hatchet Town SOMEONE’S GOT THEIR HAND ON THE HATCHET HANDLE SWINGING ON THE YOUTH IT’S A HATCHET SCANDAL CAREFUL OR YOUR FOLKS WILL END UP A CANNIBAL’S PLATE IT AIN’T GREAT YOU’RE BETTER ON THE RUN THAN YOU ARE HIDING SUDDENLY THIS QUIET TOWN’S EXCITING

God tier lyricism genuinely and it sounds sO GOOD. I love a “and here’s what the town thinks” song, and this is a great one that goes SO HARD. The chorus sets the tone so well. As I told my friend, it’s like if the Riverdale adults got a musical number, and I LOVE that.

3: High School is Killing Me This, to me, is an example of a genuinely perfect modern musical opening number. It sets the mood of the show so well, and it comes back to haunt you as the show slowly kills off its characters in a way that’s so satisfying. Of course, Mariah and Joey are hitting it out of the park; for me, though, the real star of this song is the ensemble. In any show, my favorite character is the ensemble, and this song is a great example of why. Lauren and Jon do a great job introducing us to the world (and their voices together are beautiful, GOD), and the ensemble makes it feel lived in and sets you up for the whirlwind you’re about to go on. Also, the harmonies. MWAH. (Also, “a cesspool faux democracy, it’s one hell of a normal abnormality” has been stuck in my head since I heard it; one of my favorite lyrics in the show).

2: Nerdy Prudes Must Die Love when the bully comes to kill you but it’s camp! Firstly, Will’s voice is GORGEOUS. Genuinely, I want him to play every single high school bad guy in a musical; he does such a good job. I just adore this song’s placement, tone, lyrics, sound, everything. I really love the way that “I could give two shits that you buried and left me, defiled my body, you pushed me off the edge” sounds, plus obviously the entire will you pray for me bit, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE ENSEMBLE COMES IN. Also, Jon’s absolutely fucking stuNNING “I’M NOT A LOSER.” God, it’s just so good. 100000/10.

1: Literal Monster I feel like this might be unpopular? But, I LOVE this song. It’s another one of those “and here’s what the town thinks” songs (in a way), the harmonies are beautiful, the GUITAR RIFFS, Will’s voice, the way it sets up Max’s entire being and everyone’s relationship to him. I already liked the song before Will comes in, but his voice adds such a wonderful tonal shift to the song with the HUH HUHs and then he just really goes for it, and I love him for it. His “a predator of my size, cross your heart hope to die, you can watch as I rise, I will claim what is mine” is genuinely one of my favorite sounds of the year. MWAH, chefs kiss.

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #this isn't even a tag i've used before #i don't think #i just literally haven't been able to do work to anything besides this soundtrack or the alice is missing playlist lmao #i wrote an entire ethics paper to if i loved you and high school is killing me #now i'm writing a paper for my performance theory class to literal monster and dirty dirty girl #my academics are just indebted to this musical now ig

12 notes · View notes

taleasnewastime · 2 years

Text

Dating advice | Part thirteen

Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Low self-esteem, angst, awkwardness, overthinking; FLUFF!

Authors Note: Can’t believe we’re at part 13 already! Hope you’re still enjoying.

Previous | Next | Series masterlist

“Yoongi’s already spoken to me, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Spoken to you about what?”

“About not bringing you and him up and what you may, or may not, have done,” Priya pauses then adds, “or be doing.”

You flush, try not to be awkward. This is something that happens when you date, yet it’s something you wish you could avoid. Telling people, telling friends that then ask questions; especially ones you don’t know the answer to yourself. It’s curiosity, it’s human nature and it’s because they care and want to hear about it. But you still feel scarred from the teasing at school, of the gossip going around at university, of the feeling of people talking about you behind your back and the not knowing what people think, or so plainly knowing what they think but disagreeing. And in this particular situation, it’s the awkwardness of them discussing something with you that you’re not even sure what it is yourself. Everyone has an opinion on everything and though it’s your life, you’re used to people wading in with those opinions, whether they’re wanted or not.

“Right,” you say, your voice surprisingly level despite the fact that your stomach feels like a bubbling volcano. “And isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?”

“Nah,” Priya replies, completely at ease with the conversation. “If I were to bring it up, I would have made a joke about how you two took long enough to do something, or maybe I’d ask how lame the dates Yoongi takes you on are?”

“Not lame,” you mutter defensive and a broad, shit eating, grin spreads its way across Priya’s face.

“Great. Well, I’d love to hear all about it,” her smile dips before she adds, with a slightly disgusted look, “well, definitely not the sex. I do not need to hear about how big Yoongi’s dick is, or how good or bad he is with it.”

You look horrified while Priya mimes being sick. Why the hell would you tell her about your sex life, especially with her boss. You’re about to tell her as much but she just keeps talking.

“Or to be honest, I also don’t need you both being all loved up around me. Like it’s sweet and all, but I really hate when people go on about how amazing their boyfriend is for doing the laundry or parallel parking or something equally shit. It’s literally something they should always be doing and just because they don’t always do it doesn’t mean they should be praised as some Adonis because they’ve done it once.”

“Right,” you’re not really sure how to respond to that, have to take a second for your brain to comprehend. “Well, we’ve only been on one date and Yoongi isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Yet,” Priya corrects before dropping down onto her elbows to get closer to you. “Listen, I’ve already had this chat with Yoongi but I feel I need to do it with you too. Don’t hurt him. He may seem all tough and emotionless but he’s actually pretty soft and if you break his heart then just know you’ve made an enemy of me.”

Well fuck. You were not expecting that. Especially when you’re not even sure what you and Yoongi are. Was the threat at the end really necessary? Because it was actually pretty terrifying. You’re not sure to be terrified or flattered by the fact she’d told Yoongi much the same about you. Priya, however, just leans back and smiles as if she hasn’t just threatened you.

“You two are cute together though,” she says.

“Thanks,” the word comes out sounding more like a question.

“So date number two. Or is it three what with the other night? You know, when you went upstairs and then never reappeared. Again, I don’t want to know what happened, just being able to guess is bad enough and I also don’t –”

“I’ve told you before; stop harassing the customers.”

Your eyes snap to the left having not realised Yoongi had appeared. Your face must be full of horror from the amount Priya is rambling on at you. His face is flat when he looks at Priya, but when she rolls her eyes, he flicks his eyes to you and shoots you a small smile and wink. A wink. And then just as quickly he’s back to his unbothered, flat look. It affects you way more than it should. Your eyes still wide, your heart flip flopping.

“It’s called girl talk,” Priya replies.

“Y/N looks traumatised,” you try to school your features as both pairs of eyes look at you. Yoongi smiles, his eyes soften. “You ready to go?”

You give a small smile and nod in return. Eyes now firmly on him you realise how dressed up he is. He’s not wearing his normal t-shirt and jeans, instead he’s in a blue shirt, the top buttons undone with the hem tucked into black trousers and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It’s not like you haven’t also dressed up, it’s just seeing him like this, knowing he’s dressed up like that for you, does something really funny to your tummy.

“Have a nice time,” Priya’s voice cuts across your thoughts.

“Don’t mess anything up while I’m gone,” Yoongi says in a stern voice.

Priya just rolls her eyes again. “You’re only upstairs.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want you coming up just because you can,” she pulls a face at those words, opens her mouth to say something you’re sure will be in reference to your sex life again, but Yoongi’s already turned away from her back to you. “Come on.”

You slip around the bar, follow Yoongi on the now familiar trail to his flat. Your heart pounding as you go.

Your second date, or possibly your first, or as Priya pointed out maybe your third. Since that night you’ve realised it’s hard dating Yoongi. You’re both adults with adult lives. He owns the pub, has to work most days managing it and his hours are the complete opposite to yours. You work 9-5, he works evenings and weekends.

You’d discussed a second date, or a first proper date, after Yoongi had woken up properly the morning after. He suggested weeknights you couldn’t do and you said you were free weekends he wasn’t. He’d kissed you and mumbled reassurances about how you’d work it out when he could see you thinking how maybe this was doomed before it started. Told you that you’d managed to meet enough before now, so you’d be able to manage from now.

This was the compromise. He wanted to take you out to another fancy restaurant, or for a walk along the canals, or for some cocktails. But there was never any time, and what with Priya never having really managed the bar on her own, Yoongi didn’t need to tell you that he wasn’t comfortable leaving the place to run itself for a night. Not yet anyway. So food in his flat it was. That way he was close enough to help if anything major happened, while also having time away just the two of you. It doesn’t make the date any less nerve wracking for you though. You’re excited, just also nervous.

He’s stood waiting with the door open at the top of the stairs when you get to the bottom. They look longer than you remember with him looking down on you. You force a small smile at his genuine one as you start towards him.

How are you supposed to greet him? You’ve already said hi over the bar just not face to face with nothing between you and no watchful eyes. Do you say it again? Is he going to expect a kiss? Or is that assuming you’re closer than you are? Shaking hands is way too formal, maybe a hug is better? But even then, what do you say? This is your first date with the man, or maybe it’s your second, and yet you’re waltzing up into his flat like this is normal. That’s not something you do on a first maybe second date, is it? You’ve had sex with this man so that changes everything, doesn’t it? Should it make it easier? It feels like it should. It feels like you should happily press your lips against his and not care. Yet having sex with him and skipping so many steps you’d normally have had only makes it feel that much harder for you to be ‘normal’ around him. You’re jumping way too quickly into this thing that you’re not even sure what it is.

You don’t have time to continue your trail of spiralling thoughts as you’re one step away from the man and have to make a decision on what you’re actually going to do or say.

“Something smells good,” you say as you take the final step.

Yoongi’s smile blooms, his hand stays on the door as he pulls it open wide enough to give you room to get past him. No kiss, no hug, no dreaded comment. Nothing to worry about. Your heart still drops.

“I hope you’re hungry, because there’s a lot of it.”

You slip your shoes off as you hear the door close behind you.

“Is it bad that I assumed you’d have ordered take out?”

He’s made his way over to the small kitchen, leaving you to make yourself at home. Instead, you stay in your spot by the door, eyes wondering the room as if unsure what to do. His head turning to you makes you move, awkwardly going to the sofa and perching on the edge.

“I’ll let you be the judge, but I’m actually a pretty good cook. I can at least cook a good five meals without much trouble.”

You let out a small laugh, relax a little and the sight is enough for Yoongi to smile and turn back to the stove.

“I hope toast isn’t counted in those five dishes,” you comment.

“I don’t know, it’s not easy to get it the perfect amount of brown,” you can imagine the gummy smile on his lips even with his back to you.

“You’re not giving me much hope for this meal,” you mutter with a small laugh.

Silence sweeps over the room. The bubbling of liquid, Yoongi opening and closing some draws, the gentle scrape of the spoon on the pan, the only noises. It’s not tense, it’s just that even though you feel more relaxed you still feel on edge.

Your eyes search the room for something to do. Not much has changed in the short time since you were last here. There are still pictures in the same spots on the wall, still those little figurines, a few different notes on the chalk board in his kitchen.

It’s the same as that night. Even the closed door which you know leads to his bedroom.

The sight has you starting to wonder if he’s expecting something tonight. You’re on the sofa where everything started, sat next door to the room where you slept with and then next to him. When he mentioned coming here tonight it was just an invite for dinner, but what if it’s really an invite for more? What if he’s expecting you to stay? What if he wants sex with you again? It’s not that you don’t want to have sex with him, more that you don’t want this to just be about sex. You want more from him than just sex. But how do you tell him that? What if that’s all he wants? You want him, but you want all of him too.

You’re overthinking this, you know. But you just care so much about this that you don’t want to do anything wrong to mess it up.

“I haven’t offered you a drink.”

Yoongi’s fully turned to look at you. His eyes searching yours over the breakfast bar that separates you. You’re pretty sure he can read every one of your thoughts, the trouble is you always struggle to read him.

“I’ll have a glass of wine if you have any.”

He nods, before shuffling around the room to collect the necessary items. Your eyes follow him.

“It’s the good thing about living above a pub,” he explains as his arm strains when removing the cork. “There’s always a constant flow of alcohol.”

“Spoken like a true alcoholic.”

His laugh is soft as he comes towards you, two glasses balanced in one hand and wine in the other. He places them on the coffee table before pouring the drinks and settling in the space next to you. Your eyes are still following him, notice how he doesn’t shy away from you, easily takes up all the space by you, close enough for a sliver of space between you, but not far enough that you can’t feel the heat coming off him. There’s a beat of silence as you look into each other’s eyes. A small smile curling on Yoongi’s lips.

“Hi,” he whispers.

You swallow, watch Yoongi’s eyes dart to the movement before going back to your eyes.

“Hi,” you reply just as quietly.

The air has shifted, the tension in the room becoming thicker with him this close to you. Despite its density, you find it comfortable.

“I missed you.”

Your heart stops, skin heats to seemingly a hundred degrees, throat closes. You struggle to keep eye contact, feel shy all of a sudden.

“We’ve been speaking every day,” you add, stupidly. Why are you like this? Why couldn’t you have just said you missed him back? Because although you’ve been messaging every minute between waking up and going to bed, you have missed him. Missed the sound of his voice, missed his small smiles, missed the way his eyes light up when you make a sarcastic comment. You’ve missed everything you can’t see over words on a screen.

“Still missed you,” he says easily, seemingly not put off by the mental meltdown you’re clearly having. “Sorry it’s taken so long to arrange this.”

“It’s ok,” you say, it’s not even been a week since you slept together, but it’s nice to know he’s felt like it’s been too long too, it helps you calm down a little. “Thanks for cooking.”

“I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous for you to taste it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “Why’s that surprising?”

“I just can’t imagine you nervous. You always seem too calm to be nervous.”

He huffs a laugh, eyes lighting up as he looks at you. He looks a little unsure for a second before you feel his hand take yours. There’s a second where you still in shock and where he seems to be wondering if what he’s done is ok. When you relax and don’t pull away he must take it as a sign. Pulling your hand into his lap he takes it between his two hands. Engulfs yours, protecting it between his palms, lightly plays with your fingers and runs patterns along your skin. It calms you and you find yourself twisting further into him, leg bending at the knee to rest on the sofa so your whole body can twist to face him.

“I’m nervous now,” he says gently. “I was nervous before this. I was nervous you might have turned this date down, nervous that coming to my flat wouldn’t have been a good enough date.”

“I think your overestimating how picky I am,” you say in his pause and gain another small laugh from the man.

“I was nervous when I was picking out what to wear. I was nervous walking downstairs to meet you. And I’m still nervous now. I’m always nervous around you, but not in a bad way, in a really good way.”

Your heart feels a little funny. His hand has laced its fingers through yours and he gives you a little squeeze.

“You look beautiful by the way. I was going to say it earlier, but you looked a little out of your depth.”

“Thanks,” you mutter.

“And sorry about Priya. She doesn’t have a filter sometimes and doesn’t realise she can be a bit much.”

“She’s ok.”

He pauses, seems to take you in for a second. “Ok. Shall we go eat?”

You nod. His hand squeezes yours again. He looks reluctant to let it go so stands still holding it, pulling you up with him.

Your breath catches in your throat as you come to stand chest to chest. You can almost feel his breath on you you’re that close. His eyes dart around your face, you don’t miss the way they go to your lips but he doesn’t lean in, just squeezes your hand one last time.

“You really do look beautiful.”

You don’t make the point that from this angle he can only see your face, no other part of you. Just take the compliment, store it away and let his hand drop yours as he goes back to the kitchen.

You take a large gulp of your wine before you follow him.

“Want me to do anything?”

“Can you stir this?”

He moves to the side to let you take the spoon he’s using. It doesn’t feel like you’re doing much to help as Yoongi cuts up some last bits. But at least you don’t feel like a spare part on the side.

“Hope you don’t mind eating on the sofa.”

“That’s alright.”

“We could eat at the breakfast bar, but it’s not the comfiest.”

“The sofa is fine, really.”

“Ok,” he seems to take a breath and it makes you smile. Maybe he wasn’t lying when he told you he’s nervous. It’s cute.

He takes some bits to the coffee table as you continue to stir: a bowl of salad, some bread, salt and pepper, cutlery.

“Ok, you go sit. I’ll serve up and bring it over.”

You hang around for a second before deciding to let him do this. You don’t need to question every little thing.

He brings the bowl over when it’s ready and you place a pillow on your lap to protect your legs from the heat. You dive into the food. It’s delicious and you tell Yoongi as much. His gummy smile comes out, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink in pride. You realise you like that you can have that effect on him.

“So, if you can cook this and toast, what are your other three dishes?” You say around a mouthful of food.

His lips are turned upwards in amusement. “I make this really nice beef dish.”

“You’ve got a real range in just five dishes.”

He chuckles, swallows his mouthful before answering, “What about you? Do you cook?”

“More of a baker.”

“I’m a terrible baker,” he says, eyes sparkling before he adds. “We’d make quite the team in the kitchen.”

You flush, eyes focus on picking up your next mouthful of food. You wish you didn’t become so bashful at even the smallest of comments about the two of you. But then weren’t you just thinking how you enjoyed the look on Yoongi. You’re like a couple of timid children around each other.

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you just enjoy Yoongi’s cooking. You have a feeling he’s being modest about only knowing how to cook five dishes. His food is good, really good.

“You ever think about doing food at your pub?”

The question seems to come out of the blue if Yoongi’s shocked expression is anything to off.

“I just mean, this is really good, and I bet people would love to eat it if you catered downstairs.”

His cheeks go your favourite shade of pink though his face remains flat.

“I actually have looked into it,” he says. “It cost way too much then I was willing to spend at the time. And I’m not a chef. I couldn’t cook and manage the pub, and I didn’t want to hire someone new.”

You nod, makes sense. “Maybe one day,” you say with a small smile.

“Yeah, definitely not off the cards.”

Finishing up your food you place your empty plate on the coffee table in favour of your wine. It’s as your sitting back that the thought occurs.

“What are your thoughts on cats and dogs?”

He sits up straighter suddenly becoming very serious. You bite back a fond smile.

“I like both. I’ve actually always considered getting a cat.”

You can picture it, it feels like the thing the flats missing, a pet. Yoongi here in this flat, a cat curling its way around his legs begging for food while Yoongi brews his coffee. Yoongi sat reading on the sofa with a cat lay on his lap, his long fingers gently stroking its head. Yoongi pretending he hates it sleeping on his bed for the fleas and hair that it leaves behind, but when it comes to it he’s the one that’s picking the cat up and carrying it to his bed at night. For a brief moment you even get a glimpse of yourself here with the two of them.

“I could imagine you with a cat.”

“Whenever I’ve properly thought about it, I always got put off by the fact that I don’t think I could give it enough of my time.”

Your heart squeezes a little. “Pub cats are a thing. Surely you could let it downstairs with you too.”

“Not sure how some of the customers would feel about that.”

You shrug. “Maybe it’s a way to weed out the people you don’t want as customers then.”

His teeth appear when he lets out a small chuckle. You take a small sip of your wine.

“I mean, when you think about it, don’t you think it’s weird that we have pets at all? Like dogs just walking down the street on a lead, cats wondering the streets and curling up in homes, even hamsters held in little cages. It’s kind of odd when you think hard about it.”

Yoongi’s smile widens, his head cocks to the side and then he’s laughing. His lips pulled back so his top teeth poke out a little, his eyes curving into crescents, his head rolling back on his neck slightly.

“What?” You say defensively though your own mouth is a wide smile as you watch him.

It takes him a second to reply, but when he’s calmed down enough he’s looking at you with the same wide smile, his eyes soft. “You’re so strange.”

You’re so thrown by the comment or more the way he says it so affectionately, like it’s a compliment. You shrug as you choose to have another sip of your wine.

Yoongi chuckles a bit more at your reaction before standing and gathering your empty plates.

“Think you can manage some chocolate cake?”

You look up at him. You honestly didn’t think you could like him any more than you did before he said those words. It seems he knows all the ways to your heart. Eyes eager you nod.

He goes, comes back with a small chocolate cake and two spoons. More wine is poured as you both take bites out of the cake. It’s rich and chocolatey. It’s made an amazing night that much more perfect.

You find you can’t stop yourself from smiling as you keep chatting. You almost feel tipsy by the end of the night, giggling at every little thing Yoongi says, even though you’ve not even finished the bottle of wine between the two of you.

It’s just him. He makes you forget your insecurities about all of this, makes you fall that little bit deeper with every joke and every gummy smile.

“You sure you don’t want me to call you a taxi?”

He’s stood leaning on the door, staring at you stood at the top of his stairs. It was a shock when you looked at the time half an hour ago, time had slipped away, yet it still took so long for you to actually get up and go.

“It’s fine, seriously.”

“I can at least walk you to the door?”

“This is your door,” you smile, knowing he means the pub door.

He raises an eyebrow. “Ok, well slip out the back, yeah? I don’t want you getting cornered by Priya again.”

You bite your bottom lip to stop your smile from growing too big. It’d take over your entire being if you let it.

“Thanks for having me,” you say softly, already having thanked him, but still not wanting to leave yet.

“Thanks for coming,” he counteracts.

“Thanks for cooking.”

“Thanks for helping.”

“I literally stirred for a second.”

“I think that’s what really pushed it into being an excellent dish.”

You chuckle, he’s being ridiculous. You love it.

“I should get going.”

He nods. “You should.”

“I had a really nice night.”

“Me too.”

“And next time let’s do it at mine?”

His smile grows like he can’t control it and nods.

You both linger. He doesn’t kiss you, doesn’t ask to kiss you either, though you can tell he wants to. His eyes flicking to your lips, the tension in the air. You could easily do it instead, but you’re also kind of glad that you’re not kissing. Here, in his house, if you were to start kissing, you’re not sure how far that would lead. And though you’ve had an amazing date, and though a large part of you wants to stay, wants to sleep with him again, you also want to take this slower than it’s currently going, want this to be more than just sex. So you accept the space he’s giving you.

You still linger on his doorstep, not quite ready to leave though neither of you are talking and neither of you have anything left to say.

“I’ll see you soon then,” you add.

“I look forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Yoongi smiles when you don’t move and you mentally slap yourself.

“Ok, I’m actually going now.”

He chuckles as you turn. “Bye, Y/N.”

You look over your shoulder as you head down the stairs, he’s still watching you. It reminds you of that first date where he watched you right until you disappeared around the corner. You smile to yourself the whole way home.

Taglist:

@minyoongiboongi @kookiecrumb @shydestinyyouth @minimoni7 @dopedreamfireparty @ilyk00 @hobiicores @here4btsfics @highly-functioning-mitochondria @ajw05 @xuxibelle @seoqity @jjksaveme @squakadoodledoo @jiminandhislostjams @rumpucis @bbsantc @likeshatteredrainbowglass @zae007live @mama-miss-shunshine @chaotic-floral @cowboylikevicky @yoonallthetime @feeling-woozi @neongreenlaces @jimilter @is-it-sander-oclock-yet @majamarantha @nuniah

#yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x y/n #yoongi imagine #suga fanfic #suga fic

348 notes · View notes