Dom billy rubbing your swollen pussy infront of a mirror crossing your legs with his calling you his good girl and laughing at how sensitive you are😫 overstimulation and praise kink?

Your every desire will be fulfilled👀

Warning: 18+, sexual content

The night is draped in a blanket of darkness, the soft glow of the moon filtering through your window and casting gentle shadows across your room. You’re getting ready for bed as the world outside settles into silence. You sit cross-legged on the plush carpet of your room, facing your mirrored wardrobe, running a brush through your hair.

The creaking of the window signals Billy’s arrival. You turn to meet his gaze, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. You are not technically dating. You haven't discussed what you are, but you have been going out for a month now, and you know for a fact that he has been only seeing you.

-Hey. - you greet him softly, the word contrasting with the wild beating of your heart.

His piercing blue eyes meet yours, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

-Hey doll. - he responds in his trademark confident tone, his voice low and husky. He takes off his jacket and drops it down on your bed.

Then, without another word, he closes the distance between you, his presence filling the room with an electric energy that sets your heart racing. He bends down and cups your jaw, capturing your lips in a kiss that makes your head spin. When he breaks the kiss you swear you’re still seeing the stars and absently notice that he settles behind you, resting his back against your bed. With a gentle tug, he pulls you against him. You find yourself seated between his legs, facing the mirror as he begins to comb your hair.

-Thanks. - you sigh. Billy kisses your cheek, his mustache tickling your skin deliciously.

-Still studying?

You follow his gaze, looking down at the open notebook beside you, where snippets of Shakespeare's words mingle with your own scribbles. You tell him you saw the Romeo and Juliet movie adaptation in English literature earlier in the day, and you found it kind of boring.

You stare at nothing, feeling lulled by his gentle touch. -I just don't think this version is really good.

Billy doesn’t answer, kissing your cheek repeatedly.

-Like, I was literally falling asleep.

He just hums, his lips trailing on your neck as his hands find the bare skin of your belly under the nightgown. Your brush is long fine, abandoned in the floor beside you. He is not listening to you at all, you notice, as you feel them slowly rise to your breasts.

-Billy. - you scold him in a whisper. -My parents are in the next room.

-They're asleep. - he points out to you, cupping your breasts in his hands.

You sigh when he runs his thumbs over your nipples, and bites your earlobe, and you feel the heat expand in your lower abdomen. -They could hear us.

-Not if you stay quiet. - his other hand reaches down between your legs, grazing the slit above your panties. A shiver runs down your spine. His low voice vibrates against your ear. -C'mon, pretty girl. You know you want it. Been waiting to touch you all day.

And to prove his point, he moves your panties to the side. You are actually already wet. It doesn't take much, being in close physical contact with Billy does that to you. All it takes is for him to press a kiss on your neck, for his voice to brush your ear, for his hands to squeeze your waist or draw circles on your lower belly, and a signal is sent straight to your core. You can’t lie, it’s hard to see him passing by in the school’s hallways and not being able to touch him. The private looks that he gives you from far away, or the occasional wink as he sees you looking in the lunchroom or when you share gym classes together are enough to set you on fire.

Billy hisses a breath as his finger runs along your wet flesh. -Soakin' wet, babe.

You bite your lip, concluding that you’ll surrender as you do every time to his temptations.

-I hate you. - you whisper as Billy lifts your nightgown until it's around your waist, spreads your thighs, and places his legs over yours, entwining them together, and you are now completely exposed to his mercy, and before the mirror.

-Mh. - he hums, almost chuckles. -Pretty sure it's the opposite.

You see him smiling slyly on the mirror, and you're about to respond in kind when his finger slides down your slit again, spreading your wetness over your sex.

-Mh, Billy... - you whisper dreamily, arching your back. His thick fingers begin massaging your clit slowly, applying just the right amount of pressure.

-Yeah, doll...always ready for me. - he plays with your nipple, his hot breath against your ear. -Such a pretty thing.

His voice, his touch, and his scent send you into a frenzy. You can't control your libido with him. You can't resist and turn your face away, kissing him. It is a slow, dirty kiss in the way you slide your tongue into his mouth. And Billy doesn't control himself either, responding so briskly that your head reclines backward under the pressure of his lips. You grasp the long curls at the nape of his neck, squeezing them between your fingers, losing yourself in him. A moan escapes your lips as he applies more pressure.

Billy pinches your clit in reprimand, almost making you jump. He breaks the kiss. He licks you lasciviously from lower lip to upper lip, his eyes hooded and close to yours. -Need to be quiet.

-Yes, sorry. - You whisper breathlessly. -Wait what are you... - you begin when he removes his hand from your sex. Then you realize when he taps your lips with his fingers.

-Suck it. - he commands. You wrap your lips around his two fingers, tasting yourself. -Yeah, just like that. - his voice is low and smooth like dripping honey. -Like you do with my cock, babe. Nice and deep.

He pulls out his fingers with a resounding 'pop,' slick with your saliva. When he comes back to rub you, you purse your lips to keep you from gasping. It's not long before you’re panting, on the edge of the precipice. You desperately want to get there but you also want it to never end. The way his hand grasps your breast possessively while the other massages you and his teeth nibble your skin drives you crazy.

-I want you inside me so bad. - you whimper above the wet sounds your sex makes.

-Yeah? - he whispers, slightly panting. Then tsks when you groan again. -You can't keep quiet now, imagine how bad it would be with my cock inside you.

You try not to look at your face in the mirror, but you can see how red your cheeks are. So you close your eyes, embarrassed. Billy doesn't like it. He pinches your clit again and you squeal.

-Open your eyes. - he growls.

You comply, and when you meet his dark gaze you can no longer hold back, your orgasm explodes and your hips buck against his touch, a moan escaping your lips.

He swallows your moan, sucking your tongue as his ministrations never stop, and you slowly open your eyes. You gasp as you feel his finger teasing your entrance, your sex overstimulated and sensitive.

-No. - you whine, retreating against his torso to get away from his fingers.

Billy laughs at your feeble attempt to avoid his touch, pink tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. Your wetness trickles down, making a mess on the hard floor beneath you.

-C’mon babe. One more.

-I can’t. – you shake your head as he slides his two fingers in you to the brim, bringing you closer to him at the same time by pushing you against him with the same hand, heel against your pubis. You suck a breath between your teeth at the sudden intrusion.

-You can do it, - he nips at your neck. -I know your pretty pussy can. Just one more…

Having his fingers inside you is almost too much, but when he starts moving them in and out of you, they slip easily, and somehow the flame in you is slowly rekindled again. Your hand grips his forearm as you adjust around him, digging your nails into his skin. You meet his icy blue eyes and that’s all it takes to feel butterflies in your stomach. You can’t tell him no. Your whole body gives in and lights up again, you still can’t fathom how the hell he can keep your desire alive, how easily you can give it to him immediately after he brings you to your high, it’s a never ending roller coaster.

-See, - he breathes against your ear as he licks his upper lip, the squelching of your sex around his fingers is almost too loud for you, but you can’t help but look down between his legs, following his hooded gaze. -Fuckin’ made for me.

You’re unbelievably red and swollen from the overstimulation and pleasure that is building again, your lower lips spread like a flower around him.

-This pussy is all for me, yeah?

-Yeah. – you answer breathlessly, trying to keep your voice at bay. -All yours.

Then he applies pressure to the rough patch of skin inside you and your thighs quiver. You almost want to close them but they’re blocked by the iron grip of his legs over yours.

His eyes are fixed in rapture on the mirror, looking at his fingers working roughly between your legs. They slide in and out of you obscenely, shiny with your wetness, him whispering filthy things in your ear.

-Oh my god… - you whisper shakily as the pressure starts building beyond any limit.

-Gonna gush on my fingers, babe? – he groans softly against your ear. -Think you can keep quiet?

You don’t get what he means, but a weird feeling starts building along with your pressure, very similar to when you need to pee, and you start panicking. His movements are now fast, his hand almost jerking as his fingers press continually inside you.

-Billy, no, wait. – you try to pull at his forearm, these opposite sensations rising more and more inside you. -No, no…

-Yeah, that’s it. – he growls, his breath ragged. 

And before you can stop it, it just happens. Billy covers your mouth with his hand, his fingers unrelentless as your sex squelches and liquid comes out of you, wetting the floor and mixing with your wetness. You bite his hand stifling a loud moan, your thighs shake uncontrollably from the most powerful orgasm you ever experienced, while his fingers keep applying pressure. Your eyes roll on the back of your head. For a moment, you’re overcome by pure and primal sensations, everything else disappears.

-Fuck. – Billy grunts. -That’s my good girl.

As you slowly come down from your high, you realize how much of a mess you’ve just made. Your face heats up even more than it already is, embarrassing pulling at your insides.

Billy breathes out a laugh, his fingers still inside you. -Holy shit. That was something.

-I’m sorry. – you quickly say, unable to meet his gaze on the mirror. -I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to…

-Hey, - he nudges your leg with his knee. -what are you sorry for?

-Well, for... – you gesture at the mess between your legs, embarrassed to say the word. -This. For peeing on your hand.

Billy laughs, and you almost reprimand him for being loud. -You didn’t pee on my hand. You squirted, and it was fucking hot, let me tell ya.

You look at him in confusion, wincing as he retreats his fingers and brings them to his mouth. Your eyes widen in astonishment as he licks them clean.

-What…

-Looks like I have to teach you one stuff or two. – he nudges his nose against yours, his eyes glinting with amusement but still dilated with desire. And you suddenly become aware of his hardness hot and insisting on your lower back. -This is gonna be fun.

"And there you were..."

Author's note: Good lord did i have a lot to say in this chapter. I hope my writing is still okay and is cohesive enough... I feel like i am missing small points i made in other chapters, but as Hannah Montana once said, nobody's perfect! I'm doing my best with what has been going on in my life. I recently had to drop one of my college classes because it was getting to the point of me not being able to pass the class. Life tip: don't be a full time college student with 2 part time jobs(technically 3 if my summer job contacts me to come into work on a random weekday) or it'll catch up to you... shit's stressful maine😭 Anyways, like always enjoy the chapter!!! She's a biggen💅🏻

Summary: After being slut shamed for something you and Lucien did in the past, you decide to run straight to his house to let him know of his mate's behavior. Little did you both know that it only would make things worse, but hey, screw it right?! Or so you both thought...

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: profanity, steamy make-out sesh (you're welcome<3), cock-blocked lol, slight violence

Word Count: ≈ 4,556

Chapter 6: "Hold your tits!"

And there you were in his house again but this time looking like you were going to scorch Prythian. You didn’t even have the energy to respond to his witty remarks. “Something really bad must have happened,” he thought. As he looked over you for any signs of injury, he couldn’t help but think about Elain.

Elain had lost control of her emotions and sent them full blaring at him, and yet you’re in his living room looking just as pissed off during the time of Elain’s relay. Then the realization hit him that something must have happened between you two. Would his bond with Elain cause him to take her side or would his close relationship with you rule over all? He was going to have to tread very lightly in the conversation that was about to come to light.  

“You want to know who pissed in my wine? Your mate Lucien, that’s who! And mine, but mainly your mate!” You say with a bitter tone as you cross your arms and legs to lean against the wall. 

“I see, guess I have been too much of a ladies' man if I have both of you this hot headed over me.” He smirked at you still trying to break your anger with humor. It didn’t work, it went right over your head. Lucien frowned.  

“How can she stand there and make all these accusations about me being a slut for fucking you without hearing the explanation of it being before y’alls bond?! SHE IS RIDICULOUS!” you exclaim. 

“She called you what? Are we talking about the same Elain right now?” Lucien stood there in shock. 

“She called me a slut Lucien! Said that me having sex with you is the reason I have no mate, not realizing that she is the reason I don’t have one! She keeps him from me! Hell, I tried so hard to open the bond with Az in our argument, but I am still met with nothing but a big fat wall of nothing!” You slumped down.

“Let me set one thing straight y/n! Whatever she tried to pin against you is not true!” he grabs both of your hands reassuringly. “Azriel will hopefully come around one day, I am sorry it hasn’t happened yet...” he kisses the tops of your hands. However, little does he know that you are slowly losing faith in your bond ever being complete.

Lucien then looks up at you confused. “Wait how did she even find out about our previous sexual relationship?” Lucien asked. 

“I let it slip to Mor at Rita’s and then Mor let it slip to the girls during girls' night, and then everyone asked about the rumor...” you admitted. 

“Huh, I see.” He started rubbing his temples trying to ease his distress. His mate knows about you two, she just doesn’t know it was before they even met. Is this knowledge going to change his chances with Elain? A moment of silence passes between you, before Lucien’s face lights up.  

“And what did you say about the rumor?” he smirked at you mischievously. He knew the rumor, he just wanted to hear you say it. 

“Lucien why does what I said matter?” 

“Because y/n, I want to know if you think I fuck with the fire in my veins?” His hands slowly trace up the sides of your arms. “Did I fuck you good enough for you to confirm that rumor?” He left an open-mouth kiss on your neck. “Or do I need to remind you?” He places another kiss onto your neck only firmer. 

“Lu-” you sighed at the feeling of his lips on your neck, “Lucien what are you doing? You shouldn't be doing this right now....” He wasn’t listening to you as he sucked on the sweet part of your neck as you exposed more of your neck to him.  

“Y/n you are telling me two different things right now. Your mouth says to stop but your body wants me to keep going, so which one is it doll?” He looked at you with hooded eyes, hands resting on your covered thighs after tracing your arms. 

“Why does that information matter right now Lucien? You need to stop this.” You look at him with desire, completely contradicting your statement.   

“Because y/n, they're upset at our previous relations a long time ago. I say fuck it and truly give them something to be upset about now.” 

You both looked at each other. Tension was slowly building up between you two with every second of silence. Tension that has been building since the moment you two saw each other at Rita’s. Tension that has built up from all these years without each other. Tensions that were begging to be cut, begging to be relieved. Both of you were going through all the consequences that this could put you both in, but consequences be damned, this was worth it.  

Neither of you had bothered hiding your growing scents of arousal. Your face was mere inches away from his. You could feel his hot breath against your face, and he stared down at you with desire, hands still resting on your thighs. You looked up at him and thought he was worth the risk. Whatever karma this would cause, bring it on, because his hands against your thighs was clouding all rationality in your head. 

“Ah fuck it!” you say. 

In an instant your lips were on Lucien’s in a searing hot needy kiss. His hands gripping at your thighs as your mouths fought for dominance. Your hands finding a home in Lucien’s hair and started pulling slightly, earning you a low groan. Your thighs clenched together which Lucien felt. He chuckled and decided to focus his heat on his hands, heating them up against your thighs. Your mouth broke away from his from the desirable feeling, “shit-” 

“You like my hot hands all over you, hm?”  

“Gods yes!” as you place your hands on top of his and teasingly guide them up your hips, to your waist, and stopping them just under your chest. His hands growing hotter from his desire on your sudden placement as both of your eyes locked and darkened.

“Such a fucking slut for my heat,” he said as his hands grew a mind of their own and started exploring every inch your breasts. His eyes followed every movement they made. You decided to remove your fingers from his hair and delicately trace them down his clothed back making him tremble slightly. This made you smirk. He is just as much of a slut for your touch as you were for his.  

His lips were back on yours with pure dominance, making your desire grow even more as his hands never left your chest. You moaned into his mouth as you decided to be bold and reach under his shirt to scratch his bare back. His muscles tensed at every touch knowing they would leave marks. His musk grew at the thought.

Your mouths are moving more in sync than you have ever felt before. It was like both of you knew what each other was going to do next, but what you both did not know was the sudden loud knock on his front door. You both groaned in annoyance.  

“Are you fucking kidding me?! This better be good!” Lucien said in frustration as he removed his swollen lips from yours. He looked at you for a second, his gaze softened as he placed a sweet kiss back on your lips saying, “this isn’t over.”  

He smirked and turned towards his door fixing his hair, clothes, and evident boner on the way. You giggled as you hid from the door’s gaze fixing your own appearance. The knock was heard again but this time more boisterous as if whoever was behind it was losing patience.  

“Good lord, get a hold of your tits! I am coming!” As he opened the door you heard Lucien gasp. “Shadowsinger, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He bowed jokingly. 

“Where is she?” Azriel asked in annoyance. 

“Where is who exactly?” Lucien asked dumbfounded as he rose from his bow.  

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me Lucien, you know who I am talking about. Now... Where. Is. She?!” Lucien stiffened; he was asking for you. He was not about to give you away to him after you and Elain’s argument, because he knew Azriel would take you back to the Townhouse. You and Elain needed time to cool off, he was not about to let you get called anymore names tonight.  

“She’s not here.” Lucien said protectively as he slightly closed the door stopping his gaze from searching inside. Azriel picking up on it. 

“That is fucking bullshit! I know she is here. Step aside Lucien or I’ll-” 

“Or you will what Azriel? You and I both know I am not scared of you!” Lucien growled. Azriel chuckled. 

“I knew you would protect your little play th-" Lucien’s nostrils flared as he took in a sharp inhale at Azriel’s intended vocabulary. 

“Careful how you finish that sentence Azriel.” Lucien threatened.  

“What? I smell her all over you! Protecting her is pathetic when you have your mate, Lucien!” Azriel crossed his arms across his chest aloof to the fact Lucien was about to snap.  

In a second Lucien's hand balled into a fist and decked Azriel straight in the nose. You heard the contact from where you were standing in Lucien’s living room.  

“AH! YOU FUCKING DICK!” Azriel screamed as he grabbed his nose to try and ease the pain.  

“Say something like that again Az, I fucking dare you.” Lucien snarled.  

Gods Lucien protecting you was hot, but no matter how hot he might be, your bond was overbearing you. You ran to the door, past Lucien, and straight to Azriel. You looked him over and gods was his nose a mess. Lucien had got him good. You looked back at Lucien who looked like he was about to light on fire. You glared at him for getting physical.  

“He fucking deserved it...” Lucien said as he looked at you shaking his hand off from the impact.  

You were now standing in between the two most loved males in your life right now, unsure on what to do. Do you give into the need to protect your mate, even after everything he has done, or do you give in to the male who has shown you nothing but support even though he has a mate. Not sure what to do, you decide to play both sides and ask a question everyone wanted to know.  

“Azriel why are you even here?” Trying to bury the feeling of wanting to reach out to him to comfort him, you step to stand beside Lucien. Hands slightly brushing against each other, his hands still hot from your previous moment.

“To find you.” He rubbed his nose. “Elain is on a rampage trying to get to you knowing that you had run here to him.” He pointed his head in Lucien’s direction.

So, he came here not for you, but for Elain to try and make her feel better by taking you out of her mate's home.  

“I am not going back there to make that bitch feel better!” You felt Lucien stiffen at your words for Elain.  

“You have to y/n! Look all feelings aside, she won’t calm down. I have tried. Feyre has tried. Nesta has tried, but nothing is working. You need to come back to the townhouse now before shit gets worse!” He looks at you with pleading eyes. Gods he truly cared for Elain, didn’t he? You felt tears prick your eyes. Why couldn’t he care for you this way and not Elain? 

“I am not going back there to get name called again for something that I did before their bond even snapped!” Azriel's gaze softened at your words, not by a lot, but you could see the realization hit him that Elain had gone too far earlier. Lucien finally decided to speak. 

“If y/n returning to the townhouse means Elain calming down, she can go but you must take me with her. I will not stand aside and let y/n bear the burden alone for something we both did.” Wanting his mate to feel better but in a way he knows he can protect you at the same time. Lucien looked towards Az for an answer. 

“I don’t think you coming would be a good idea.” Azriel deadpanned, now seeping back into his usual closed off self.  

“Why? Because you’re scared that maybe the only thing that could potentially help Elain calm down is him? You’re just being jealous that it wasn’t you... set aside your pride for once Azriel and let him come with me,” you said. Azriel thought through your words, and you could tell he wasn’t going to budge. You grabbed Lucien’s hand because what you were about to say was going to hurt you a lot emotionally.  

“Do not think about it for the sake of myself, but for the sake of Elain, Az...” Your tears finally spilled from your eyes as you saw Azriel’s face lighten up at the thought of it potentially helping Elain. Not even sparing a thought that returning there would only make you feel worse. Lucien’s hand tightened around yours as he thought the thought Azriel had failed to see. You smiled up at him as he mouthed, “it will be okay,” as his thumb traced the back of your hand in comfort.  

“Fine. For the sake of Elain, you can both come.” Azriel takes off into the sky as you and Lucien look at each other worried.  

“Y/n, everything will be okay,” he smiled at you. “I won't let anyone else shame you for something we both did in the past. It’s my turn to take on the burden. Don’t let Azriel’s behavior towards Elain stop you from trying to peruse the bond, or you’ll end up like a sorry sucker like me.” He chuckled.  

You laughed at his self-defeating comment as you said, “Thank you, Lu... let’s hope you can calm the raging seer because it was not pretty earlier.” You warned.   

“Yeah, let’s hope for once in her life she actually needs me for something...” He rolled his eyes not believing that this is the moment he is needed for. All this time without her and he's the last option when he should be the first. Gods, Lucien couldn’t help the bubbling anger trying to surface itself that he was her last resort, but his mate needs him! He was not about to ruin this chance for himself, as he grabs your hand and winnows you both to the Townhouse.  

As you reached the front door at the Townhouse you saw Azriel landing beside you and Lucien.  

“Oh, would you look at that,” Lucien looks at his imaginary watch, “just on time shadow singer!” He smirks. 

“I don’t have time for your wit right now Lucien, we have better things to do. Come on.” Azriel said annoyed and walked straight into the house not even bothering to see if you were following him.  

“Guess we need to follow grumpy pants over there,” You teased as Lucien laughed. 

“Y/n I heard that!!” Azriel said over his shoulder only making you and Lucien laugh even louder. You both decided it was best to follow him now that you and Lucien were walking a fine line on Azriel losing his patience.  

You can already hear the arguing as soon as you both catch up to Azriel. Lucien has suddenly gone cold as he hears his mate’s voice for the first time in a while. You heard his heartbeat quicken, from nerves or from longing you couldn’t tell. 

“Lucien if you don’t get ahold of yourself, she is going to walk all over you! Deep breaths, I will be with you the entire time,” you smile at him.  

“What if she sees me and kicks me out? What if my presence makes it worse?” Lucien was starting to panic, all he wanted was to see her and protect you from any more name calling, but this situation was just too stressful for him. Everything was relying on him calming down Elain! How can he do that when he has practically been shunned out of her life. You looked at him, clearly reading his thoughts. 

“Lucien look at me,” his gaze is hazy as he glances towards you, “you are her mate! If anyone can get through to her it’s you! Not Azriel! YOU! Do not doubt your ability as her mate for a second!” You smiled at him, and you squeezed his hand gently.  

“What would a male like me do without you?” He laughed as he squeezed your hand back. 

“I don’t know, probably be a really lonely sorry sucker,” you shrugged your shoulders as you teased him. You have known Lucien for so long that you have picked up the best way to calm him is banter. He chuckled and kept your hand in his as he finished following behind Az.  

Azriel glanced behind him to hear y’all’s exchange after he heard his name. He couldn’t help but see him and Elain in you and Lucien. Did you two like each other? He almost felt jealous, which is weird for him. The last time he felt this way was when you left Rita’s with him. What was going on with him recently?! He was going to have to investigate this for Elain’s sake... or maybe his, so he can stop this unknown and unsettling feeling that has been slowly eating at him.  

“Would you two stop flirting and get a move on? They're in the library which is right around the corner,” Az said annoyed.  

You and Lucien rolled your eyes playfully before you both feared the worst as you reached the entrance to the library. Elain’s rampage is evident as you hear her through the door. 

“Oh, boy here we go again,” you said. 

“Remember what I told you earlier y/n, I won't hesitate to fire back,” Azriel glared. 

Lucien stepped in front of you and threatened, “I won't hesitate to set your balls aflame if you talk to her like that again!” You peered behind Lucien’s back and stuck your middle finger up at Az. He rolled his eyes as he opened the door letting you and Lucien walk in first.  

As you walked in you saw Elain in the center of the room, pacing. Cassian and Nesta took the nearest couch. You saw Feyre and Rhys on the loveseat next to Cassaian and Nesta. Both couples are taking turns trying to ease Elain, but obviously it is not working otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Amren and Mor were sitting by the fireplace drinking from their glasses of wine in annoyance at the situation they had to deal with. Gods, you wish you could join them, they had the right idea... 

“I knew you had run to him! First you fuck him and now you think you can go to him for comfort?! You are not his mate y/n!” Elain’s head snapped in your direction as you both came in. She hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge Lucien. 

“Yeah, I may not be his mate, but you don’t get to call yourself that after all the shit you have been putting him through!” You raised your voice to match hers. “You are nothing but a dead-beat mate who does not deserve someone like Lucien!” 

“Funny, the mother seems to think I do...” Elain snarked back. 

“So then fucking act like it! Stop throwing yourself a pity party and finally realize what the mother gave you!” You point at Lucien. “He. Is. A. Good. Male! What is the issue?” 

“The issue is you have fucked him, touched him, kissed him!” Elain argued back. 

“Mother above Elain, I am not a disease! Grow the fuck up-” you sneered back.  

Everyone in the room could tell this was not going to get any better if they kept letting you two talk. Everyone soon looked towards the two males at the entrance begging for them to do something and step in.

Lucien and Azriel were on top of it as soon as they saw everyone looking at them. Lucien was the one to step in front of you, blocking your view from Elain. His hands gripped your shoulders slightly pushing you back. Azriel was doing the same thing for Elain, only she was more resilient.  

“HOLY SHIT AZ! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!” Cassian boomed as everyone saw the lingering bruise on Azriel's nose.. 

“You can thank Lucien for that...” Az deadpanned as Lucien smirked. Everyone’s faces almost seemed surprised by the fact that Lucien had gotten physical with Azriel and had no bruise of his own.  

“It wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t insult y/n.” He shrugged.  

“You did that to protect her?!” Elain was screaming in Azriel’s arms. Lucien looked at you with an apologetic look before he turned to face his mate. 

“Elain,” the sound of her name coming from his mouth had her frozen, “talk to me. No more screaming, no more yelling, just tell me your point of view on what’s going on. Okay?” he asked sweetly. Gods the dexterity of this male.  

“She-” Elain had started to cry, “How could you sleep with someone Lucien?! Especially with someone like her when I am your mate?” You tensed, gods she was still on the petty bullshit. 

“Someone like her, is an amazing female, but you wouldn’t know that because you are too blinded by the fact we slept together!” Lucien explained calmly.  

“Is that so wrong of me to think when I come home to the girls wanting to know all the details of the autumn male rumor that she has learned from you?” Her voice was starting to rise as tears flowed down her cheeks. Lucien took a couple steps towards her, but Azriel was still holding her back afraid things would get ugly if he let her go. You were left standing alone.  

“Elain listen to me, I don’t know what you heard but y/n and I’s previous sexual relations were before I even met you...” Lucien said reassuringly. 

“No! You are lying! That can’t be true-” Elain said in disbelief as the wave of guilt hit her as she looked at you for confirmation.  

“You would have known that if you had just let me talk instead of slut shaming me...” you sassed her. Lucien and Azriel glared at you as if saying your sass wasn’t needed right now. You huffed.

Lucien took the last couple of steps towards her and closed the distance between them as he grabbed one of her hands. This was now paining you to watch. Both of the most adored males in your life comforting Elain as you stood by yourself.  

“Elain it is true, y/n and I slept together before our bond was even put in place... If you need, I will put my mental shields down and let Rhys prove it to you!” He rubbed the back of her hand.   

“Hey, don’t drag me into this! I don’t want to see that; I believe him Elain! Please don’t make me do that.” Rhys begged.   

Elain looked at him in sympathy, “I won’t make you do that.”  

“Thank fuck,” Rhys sighed. You giggled at him as you thought to yourself that it would be a good way to show the girls the rumor. As if Rhys heard your thought, he glared at you. His voice was now in your head saying, “Don’t let them know that! I truly don’t want to see that image of you two.” His face grimaced making you giggle again. Feyre glanced at you two and looked at Rhys questioningly. You could tell they were now talking through the bond.  

Elain glanced down at Lucien’s hand caressing hers. “I am sorry to have made you come all this way for something like this... I should have let y/n explain herself. I'm sorry Lucien..” She says embarrassed. Azriel took this as the queue to let her go knowing she was fine now. He was angry that Lucien was able to calm her, part of him wanted him to fail so he could get another chance. He finally stepped away from the two.  

“It is alright Elain; the bond makes us do crazy things sometimes.” He smiled at her, and she actually giggled at him. He wiped away a couple of her tears, and you could see her lean into his touch. Both smiling at each other lovingly.  

Fuck this was too much for you. You saw first-hand how much Lucien cared for Elain and it hurt, maybe he did still have a chance... You and Elain still had to work out the words you two threw at each other in anger, but you couldn’t do that now. Not with the overwhelming feeling of seeing Lucien hopeful again. Maybe you were being dramatic, but you seriously couldn’t look at them anymore. Seeing him hopeful again reminded you that this crush of yours was not right. 

You began to not think straight. Seeking Lucien's attention and teasing him only led him away from wanting to fight for their bond. All for what? Because Az didn’t notice you?! Gods what were you even doing. You were turning into Elain... All of your threats to her were now hypocritical. Just like the wave of guilt hitting Elain earlier, yours had just come crashing down. As you realized you still stood alone, you quietly excused yourself from the room. Everyone looked at each other confused.   

“I should go see what’s wrong with-” Lucien had tried to leave Elain’s grip, but she only squeezed his hand. 

“Don’t go. I need you, Lucien. I finally feel at peace after hours of torment.” Elain pleaded. 

“You do?” Lucien looked down at her, face red as his hair, as she nodded.  

“Please stay with me for a while longer?” she asked nervously. 

“Anything for you,” as he placed a chaste kiss atop her hand.  

However, you were not out of the library yet as you saw their last exchange before you ran down the hall. Tears stained your face as you continued to run to the other side of the house, needing to get as far away as possible. Little did you know someone else needed to escape that situation just as much as you did. He excused himself as he followed you down the hallway, using your urgent departure as an escape for himself to leave the room.  

Lucien couldn’t help but grovel that he had chosen Elain over you as he watched Az chase after you. That should be him doing that but instead he was here with his mate. Maybe this was for the better? Having both of your mates in this situation could be useful he hoped. For now, he was going to try and enjoy all the time Elain was willing to give him before she kicked him back out of her life for Azriel. He will have to apologize for his behavior later, but like he said earlier, the bond can make someone do stupid things. 

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Post author's note: the smut is coming babes! I promise! I'm working on it rn and i'm screaming and kicking my feet at it. Literally foaming at the mouth 😮‍💨🤤

#just for me.

Sypnosis: Things that remind them of you that they keep for themselves (Blue lock version)

Warnings: Messy interchanging tenses, not proofread

Featuring: Nagi Seishiro, Meguru Bachira, Yoichi Isagi, Itoshi Rin x GN! reader

Nagi Seishiro

He had this picture of you in his wallet wearing a matching onesie with him. The both of you were wearing stitch onesies and Reo had just happened to come by. Taking hold of this opportunity, Reo snapped a picture of the both of you asleep on the couch - popcorn and snacks next to the both of you as the TV was still playing the movie you both were watching. Once Nagi sees the picture, he'll snatch it away from Reo and keep in it his phone case. His phone is always with him, so it's convenient to just take it out and get his daily reminder of who's been supporting him in his career for so long.

The matching necklaces you got for his birthday. He always keeps it on him and does not care if he's breaking any rules wearing it (he'll just hide it under his shirt, what's the big deal?) Nagi likes it because it's convenient to wear when playing football. It doesn't disturb him much like rings do when he eats or earrings when he jumps around during practice. Plus, he'll unconsciously fidget with it. The cold sensation it has whenever he touches it is weirdly comforting.

Meguru Bachira

He has a picture of you and him in an art class the both of you signed up for. Honestly, he wasn't focusing and neither were you - there were doodles everywhere on his canvas and you couldn't focus with him around. You remember him doodling you kissing him on the cheek, a cat, your initials in a heart, etc. In the picture, he was cupping your cheek and painting small hearts all over your face. Every time he stares at the photo, he can recall the sound of your uncontrollable laughter, how one of the hearts smudged on his cheeks when you kissed him, and the trouble you went through wiping off the red stains on your face and clothes.

His grades... aren't the best. Thus, being the dedicated and loving significant other you are, you copied your personal super helpful notes for him to refer though. However, you had encountered an obstacle - he could not focus. Complaints and whines would be the only thing rolling off of his tongue instead of anything intellectual. Thus, you've come up with a solution! Doodles and affirmations in the notebook keep him around long enough. Occasionally, you'll doodle a smaller version of you saying "good job!", hugging him, kissing him, etc. Similar to checkpoints, you'll remind him of how great he's doing or how he's going to ace his exams like this! Once he returns the notebook, you'll notice new doodles, and a thank you message on a card hidden between the pages.

Yoichi Isagi

The scarf you gave him during autumn. It still has that lingering smell of your perfume/cologne, and he just likes having it on during his walks. It calms him down to just having it around his neck. I just have this hunch that he feels so guilty the moment there's a hole or any sort of stain. (Don't worry, he's careful with such a precious item)

I just know you and Isagi would share a Spotify playlist! I JUST KNOW IT. You have this playlist with him with a mix of your taste in music and his (he requested you to add in calmer pieces specifically). Whenever he's listening to music on the bus or train and hears a song he doesn't recognize, he'll smile unconsciously because he just feels like this is the type of song you would like. Seriously, those cheesy, calming love songs always remind him of you. It makes him really appreciate being yours, being able to hold your hand, hug you, treat you to things, etc.

Itoshi Rin

The good luck notes you leave in his bag. Of course, you respect his privacy and won't unnecessarily rummage through his things. Though, that doesn't mean you can't just slide your little token of encouragement right into his bag! Technically, you aren't looking! At first, when he felt the touch of paper against his palm, he assumed it was trash. When he was able to fish it out and inspect it, he realized the heartfelt contents of the "trash" in his hands. You don't know this, but he actually collects your messages. It's no good to waste such endearment! In a small corner of his bag, he neatly tucks them in and keeps them for whenever he feels like he misses you has nothing to do.

Knowing Rin, he's in no way a romantic. I mean, this is Itoshi Rin, we're talking about here. Thus, you decided to be bold and be the first person to make a move! You gave him a bouquet of white jasmine to bring home and to be honest, he seemed uninterested... Keyword: seemed. This guy brought home the flowers and literally researched how to take care of them to ensure that they never wither. During that, he found out the symbolic meaning of white jasmine - love, beauty, and sensuality. (He'll make sure to bring a bouquet for you in the future)

The Sera headcanon for Charlie's "gay/bi awakening" were because of her being among the "tall mommy" type of characters alongside Lilith and Carmilla.

Headcanon time (CWF Human AU) :

Fencing and martial arts are both thing very loved in the community, honor duels being a thing for many both lower and upper classes, which they monetize by having these duels happens in sports events and other things, they also try to keep it without deadly weapons.

Music and arts in general are loved in the town, and bring a lot of cash, though there's a lot of tensions between the parts of the population.

Lucia (Lute's original name) is the daughter of Agatha, who was a fierce supporter of the catholic angle of the opposition to the "communist scums" in the cold war with family in the military in Francoist Spain (since in CWF she likely would have been more affiliated with Spain), though Lucia learned Spanish dialects outside of the Castillan one thanks to Agatha's friends and their children in America, as these friends of Agatha came from the various Spanish-speaking American nations.

Lucia learned to take a chill pill from hanging out with Adam and her army-buddies during her military service.

Adam is kind of the town's golden boy, excellent military service, musically gifted and doing rock concerts but also more "prim and proper" gigs, referring to the angel side, which allowed a lot of the youth to enjoy rock since Adam wasn't seen as a thug.

On a personal level however, his life is a mess.

Lute got her nickname from Adam, who gave it due to her proficiency with the guitar while mocking her more old-fashioned background and attitude.

Lute hate Lucifer because he and his sins are low-key oligarchs of the town, doing stuff from "weird but not really harmful" to "the only reason why you're not in prison is that I can't find proofs".When it was discovered that Lute was pregnant, Agatha kicked her out, and Adam gave her shelter for a few weeks whole convincing Sera, who had a much more spacious residence, to take her in.

Sera, who secretly was pregnant with Emily, took pity and took Lute in, but Lute, who refused to be "some charity case", became kind of her secretary.

Lute hate Lilith, beside because of bias from Adam and jealousy of appearance, because it was during a meeting with the Morningstars then she gave birth to Vaggie, and Lilith and Sera helped with the birth since there was no time to call a doctor.

Lute hated feeling so vulnerable before Lilith of all people.

Adam here help out Lute monetarily, officially because Lute lacking monetary issues mean they can hang out more, unofficially, it's that+wanting to help for with Vaggie.

Adam is the music teacher, specifically guitar.

Despite knowing Adam is her granddaughter's father, because he and Eve were still technically married, Agatha see Lute as a home-wrecking slut

Despite being on the bad side of the town, Lucifer still held his classist beliefs, hence why he sent Charlie to Sera's Academy.

Charlie befriended Emily when they were 6, and properly met Vaggie when they were 14, once Charlie had her growth spurt, which coincided with when she started drifting away a bit from Lute, they were still tight, but Vaggie was softer and also more flexible ideologically, compared to the very much right-wing Lute who, beside her love of hanging out with her friends and relationship with Adam, was still mostly Agatha's precious daughter mentally.

Lute discovered Vaggie was gay due to seeing Vaggie and Emily kissing when the two girls were 14, since they wanted to know what it felt like and were the only ones with whom the other girl could feel comfortable enough trying to discover without breaking the friendship if they didn't had feelings, they're not close friends, but they have known each other too long not to be comfortable.

Lute is as straight as an arrow, but she have many gay and bi friends, and she didn't want to alienate her daughter, so she was supportive, that support on the matter being key to why Vaggie didn't stopped liking the more physical/combat things and didn't actively tried to distance herself from her mother.

I think Adam and Vaggie are quite awkward with each other here.

What's Sera and Emily's relationship like?

Beside Adam, Lucifer, Lute and Lilith (unless Lucifer doesn't tell her because it's too private), who know that Emily is actually Sera's daughter?

Okay, this is a lot to go over, so it's probably going to take me a while to fully respond to this...I'm also not going in order, just commenting on things as my brain decides to focus on them.

Lucia as Lute's birth name is honestly a really good pick, though I do imagine she was often called "Lucy" when she was young, something she dropped as an adult...which ended up helping a lot with avoiding confusion when she started having to associate with Lucifer, who's nickname was "Luci".

They do call an ambulance when Lute is giving birth to Vaggie, just because they do know that both Lute and the baby will need to be looked over by an actual doctor - especially with Vaggie still being born a few weeks early here - but because Lute's labor progresses very fast for a first pregnancy/delivery, and the nearest hospital is a fair distance away....Lilith and Sera know they've got to actually deliver the baby. With Lute remaining stubborn and refusing to fully accept she was in labor despite all the clear signs, insisting that there was no way the baby was coming now - she's still got six weeks left and she's done everything right, so she shouldn't be in labor already. It's not until the baby starts crowning, and particularly when Lilith using a compact mirror to basically make Lute have to see that, yes, she is having her baby right now, that she accepts what's happening and stops trying to fight against it.

Lute is both thankful for Sera giving her a place to stay, but also frustrated at needing the help. She insists she’s only staying until she has the baby and has saved up enough for an apartment for the two of them. But that takes some time, even with Adam sending her money to help. Partly because Lute hates accepting the money from Adam (or anyone) since she doesn’t like to feel like she’s a “charity case”. So she and Vaggie live with Sera and Emily until Vaggie’s just over two years old.

Congratulations, Agatha - you basically share the opinion of a seven year old. Though Cain doesn't think of Lute as a slut...at least when he's that young. But he does blame her (and Vaggie) for his parents splitting up, since he knew the basics of where babies came from when he met Lute during the time she lived with Adam after her mother kicked her out and cut her off; and when he found out Lute being there meant he was getting a new brother or sister...he basically just went like, "Okay, so this lady's having a baby with my dad, and that's why him and my mom don't live together anymore." As you can probably guess, he wasn't thrilled about Lute living in his dad's place, even if it was just temporary.

Adam and Vaggie's relationship is definitely a bit awkward here, since in this version of events, he does want to be more involved in her life from an earlier age (or at least be able to be open about the fact that he's her father) but Lute, partially because she did somewhat internalize some of the insults her mother threw at her when she found out she was pregnant, refuses to let him do either, not wanting to risk feeling judged and thought of as a slut who slept with and got knocked up by her friend pretty much as soon as he wasn't living with his wife anymore. His wife who had given birth to his sons, the eldest of whom was only about six and the youngest wasn't even a year old, so she also had the issue of feeling like she'd be judged for "taking the boys' father from them." But Adam does still spend time with Vaggie occasionally, usually when Lute had something she needed to do and wasn't able to find anyone else to watch Vaggie for a few hours.

Vaggie does eventually learn Adam is her father....thanks to a drunk Cain blurting it out during his 21st birthday party, which Vaggie was invited to due in part to the fact that Abel and Seth were allowed to each invite one of their own friends, and Seth chose Vaggie, since the two of them were actually friends. Even if they mostly just talked via texts and video chat once Vaggie started going to the academy.

Bonus: Lute teaching at the academy was a big part of why Vaggie was able to attend - children of the staff get free tuition, though they do still have to pay for things like uniforms. The promise that her daughter would be able to attend the school, which was considered pretty prestigious, is what convinced Lute to take the job when Sera offered it to her, despite initially refusing because taking a job offered by her "friend" felt too much like charity for her liking.

Sera and Emily have a pretty good relationship for Emily's childhood....but there starts to be some tension as Emily starts getting into her teenage years. Mostly because she starts to question how honest her "sister's" been with her for her whole life, particularly because Sera refuses to let her see any pictures of their parents, or really answer any of her questions about what they were like before they died. And Emily isn't stupid by any means, so all of that felt weird to her. And the feeling that Sera was keeping something from her caused Emily to start becoming more distant from her...while she tried figuring out the answers for herself.

A few other members of the staff at the Academy know Emily is actually Sera's daughter, but they swore to keep it secret. Outside of them, nobody knows the truth besides those you listed...and obviously the doctors who delivered Emily, and technically the people who filed her birth certificate.

😅👉🏽

this is a haiku that uses just two symbols.

so, let me explain:

(while editing this post i found out that a few emojis i use are not supported on certain browsers. clearly im being silenced.

if you paste them in discord, then they should display, otherwise, suffer?)

haikus are simple, but have a rigid structure, which is why they’re fun. just five syllables, then seven, then five again, arranged in three lines.

what I think is fun is what I like to call a ‘minimal haiku,' which is where you try to use as few symbols as possible to write all three lines of a haiku. so, for example, we start with numbers.

7 is so cool everybody likes 7 7 is funky

in this haiku here, although '7' is only one symbol, it counts as two syllables, because that's how it's pronounced. so, obviously, we can just kind of run with that, right?

so here is the smallest haiku i think you can make using numbers in this way.

here is the haiku:

77 707 77

"seventy seven seven hundred and seven seventy seven"

this haiku uses (fittingly) seven symbols, but it kind of sucks. we're playing fast and loose with what we're calling a haiku, but it would still be nice if the minimal haikus we wrote kind of, at least, sort of made sense, i think.

so here's the smallest haiku i have written so far using only numbers and letters.

alright, here is the haiku:

33 x 3 funny 700x 69 ha ha

"thirty three times three funny seven hundred times sixty nine ha ha"

its not exactly high art, but it's technically comprehensible as a series of words that express a full thought, and that's good enough.

obviously, you can go further than this, and the next logical step is ascii. I don't think there's any ascii symbols that can be pronounced as seven syllables, but there are a few that can do five.

so here's the smallest haiku i could make using just ascii symbols:

) :) !

"close parentheses colon, close parentheses exclamation mark"

wow! just four symbols, which tell the relatable story of a guy who wakes up and sees that he's slept through his alarm. (it conveys this thought pictorially, but it does convey a thought.)

of course, we can go further.

our next stop is emojis.

now, one thing that's problematic about these is that not everyone might agree on how they should be pronounced, but i say we just play with this, and use whatever makes our haikus work, because, well, it's more fun that way.

so, here's a fun haiku:

🌑 🌓 🌕

"new moon emoji first quarter moon emoji full moon emoji"

wow! just three symbols.

here's a haiku about a working class trans girl:

🧑‍🏭 👩‍🏭 ⚧️

"factory worker woman factory worker transgender symbol"

so, we've managed to make some haikus with just three symbols. but i think we can go smaller.

ive been limiting myself to writing haikus with three visible lines when written down, but you can't do that with just two symbols. so we're just gonna forget about that from this point on.

(as a quick little aside, i said before that, using just numbers,

77 707 77

was the best i could do, but if you ignore how it is written down,

77777

"seventy seven thousand seven hundred and seventy seven"

is a haiku in just one number. anyways, back to emojis)

😵‍💫 🤢

this is a haiku. let me explain to you why.

most emojis are single unicode characters. but some of them are secretly just combinations of two other emojis with a symbol called a 'zero width joiner' between them, which means, although they're displayed as just one symbol, you can break them up into three. here's the wiki page for 'face with spiral eyes', which lists the three unicode symbols that make up the emoji. with that knowledge, you can pronounce this fun haiku as:

"face with crossed out eyes zero width joiner, dizzy nauseated face"

which is a haiku about a person who's sick and might just frow up.

one common type of emoji sequence is for modifying the skin tone of certain emojis. for these, we won't think about what the zero width joiner is doing (in fact, i think some, but not all, of these don't even have one? it's unclear to me, but all the more reason to ignore them.) what we'll do instead is just use the 'CLDR Short Name', which you can find listed here and here on unicode.org. These are about as official as you can get with emoji names, and will cover the emojis i'll be using for the last haikus.

so let's look back at the haiku at the top of this post, shown again:

😅👉🏽

"grinning face with sweat backhand index pointing right medium skin tone"

this takes advantage of the skin colour of the pointing emoji.

so that's another haiku that uses just two symbols, which depicts an anxious person doing finger guns (perhaps they're anxious because they spilled some yellow paint on their face. who knows. like any great artist, my works are up to interpretation.) so this leaves us all asking...

is it possible?

we've done two symbol haikus, but what about...

one?

any emoji which shows a person can be modified both by skin colour and by gender. if there is more than one person in an emoji, then each person can be given their own modifiers.

This means it's just a matter of going through the list of emojis and hoping that you can find one that works.

and, well that's just what i did:

👨🏾‍❤️‍👨🏽

couple with heart: man, man, medium-dark skin tone, medium skin tone

this is the smallest haiku possible to write. it's just a single symbol.

and it's two gay men. a wonderful queer couple. and i think that's great.

Sinbound- Chapter 11

Summary: It’s been a month since the events of the last chapter: Eddie and Buck are on the outs and Buck’s family is back in town; Something major happens to Y/n.

Warning: Talks of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

It’s been a month since Eddie and I broke up. It was touch and go for a while. The night of the breakup I asked for 2 hours. It doesn’t take 2 hours to basically pick up your whole life. Alex and I took all our clothes and toiletries but we still had to come back and get the rest of our things. I decided it would be best to leave all the baby’s stuff there, but excluding that I still had a ton of things. Bobby and Athena served as the buffer between Eddie and I. Athena would text me to tell me that Bobby told her Eddie and Christopher would be out of the house from 12-4 pm and stuff like that. Eddie and I still haven’t spoken since that night even though he tried. He gave me a good 2 days before he was blowing up my cell and trying to talk and work things out, but I was serious when I meant Eddie and I were done. The betrayal still keeps me awake at night if I let my mind wander enough and the events starting on the night in question and the big blow up play in my head like a movie. Alex and I moved in with Buck for the time being while I figured out the next step in our lives. Buck was more than happy to welcome us and he’s been accommodating in any way he can. He’s been going with me to my doctor appointments, driving me around a lot since I’ve gotten a little bigger and lazier to do it myself, and even taking a parenting class with me. Even though I had Alex already a lot of things have changed in the last 12 years.  Speaking of all the things Buck is doing for me, Eddie is quite pissed at him because of it. Also, the fact that Buck is the one that told me about Eddie’s infidelity. So everything has been quite an adjustment. It was morning and Buck was off today so that meant family breakfast. Which was really more me cooking whatever I was craving and everyone being too lazy to complain or make anything else. Today was chicken, waffles, spicy syrup, bacon, eggs, and french toast. (Don’t judge but I craved this my whole pregnancy.) Buck came down from the room and sat at the table. The reason I call it the room is because technically it’s both Buck and I’s room. See Buck only has two rooms in his loft but the other room is Alex’s and it’s not exactly big enough to share. So Buck and I share the room in the sense that both of our things are there like clothes, shoes, jewelry, little things like that. Buck did buy a couch though, so that way he has something to sleep on. Right now Buck was trying to convince me to go with him and Alex to pick up his parents later. “They would love to see you. I mean it’s been over a year since they last saw you.” “Yeah and since then I got knocked up and then left a single mom. Again.” “True, but you look really cute pregnant and they haven’t seen this glow.” He said, as he pointed his fork at me. “That may be the case but seriously I’m not up for that yet.” Buck could tell my mood was becoming somber, so he let it go. “Alright. Did I tell you guys what happened yesterday at work? Some guy’s kids buried him in the sand and splashed water on him when a freak flash of lightning hit and turned the sand into glass. It was insane.” “Buck I’m trying to eat.” “Mom, that's actually really cool and mother nature at work. What did that guy say in that really old dinosaur movie ‘life always finds a way’. Life is science.” “Did she just call Jurassic Park a really old movie?” I asked Buck. I turned to Alex. “That movie came out the year I was born for your info.” “How do you think I feel? I’m older than you by two years.” Buck joked. The conversation kept flowing from there and eventually it was time to clean up and start the day. Since the break up with Eddie I haven’t really been writing much so my day usually centers around Buck and Alex. I felt like a 50’s housewife. After making sure everyone had everything they needed for their day I would tidy the house, wash dishes, do laundry. It was a feminist nightmare but I was so numb I didn’t really care. I’ve been seeing a therapist but it didn’t help as much as I thought it would. Most people describe therapy as this life-altering interaction but for me it felt like when you were called to the guidance counselor in school about bullying or something. Like I was put on the spot. Don’t get me wrong there was improvement but I just didn’t feel satisfied or “fixed” in a sense. We dived into my relationship issues a lot and I understand what Eddie was saying. The “relationship” that Buck and I had while Eddie and I were still together was emotional cheating, which proved my point. We were bad for each other. Eddie and I both rushed into this relationship after commitment issues on both sides, so we were destined for doom. Either way the pain inside of me from his affair with Ana wasn’t going away because I know that what I did didn’t warrant that. Instead of breaking it off or establishing clear boundaries, Eddie decided that cheating was the best route. So here I am feeling like less than a person over a toxic relationship we both should have some coming to an end. Buck’s POV Since Y/n didn’t want to come with me I was forced to suffer with my parents alone. It was worth it since Albert was there. “Uh, Albert, hey, check this out.” I showed Albert Y/n’s ultrasound picture. It was so cool to be a part of this process and I couldn’t help but show it off. “You brought more than takeout.” Albert replied, “Well, uh, Chimney didn't tell you?” “Yeah, that I've been gone less than a year and you're a father again? No.” God I hope my parents didn’t hear that. “Uh, no, not-not exactly.” “But that's a…” Albert started. “Baby. Buck...?” My mom was suddenly standing behind me. “Is there something you need to tell us? You're gonna be an uncle again!” My mom shouted as she jumped to conclusions. “Phillip! Maddie and Howard are gonna have another baby!” My mom yelled as she went to hug Chimney. “What?” Chim asked, confused. “That's fantastic! I had a feeling when you bought this house.” My dad replied. “I mean, it's a little soon to be pregnant again, but... Why not?!” Mom said. “This is very good news, Howard. Why didn't you tell us sooner? “ Chimney’s stepmom asked. “Uh, guys... Guys, we're... not pregnant.” He said. “You're not?” Mom asked. “No.” “Then who is?” Mom asked as she turned to me. “That’s what I was trying to say. Y/n is pregnant again. It’s a girl.” “You and Y/n are having another baby?” My dad asked. “No, mom is having a baby with Eddie.” Throughout all the confusion, everyone forgot Alex was sitting at the table on her tablet. “But, they're not together anymore so we're living with dad.” “Okay, let’s not deepdive into it. Give your mom some privacy.” When we got home it was time for a talk about privacy. “So Y/n and living with you while she’s pregnant with another man’s baby?” My dad asked. “And you’re going to help raise the baby?” “It's not like that. We’re not together, I’m just helping her while she figures a few things out. Also, if she wants of course I’ll help raise the baby but we haven’t thought that far ahead. We’re taking things day-by-day.” The way everyone except Maddie, Chimney, and Alex were looking at me I could tell they had a lot to say. “I think it's…” My mom started. “Here we go. “ I knew I was about to get an earful. “Great.” She finished. That shocked me. “Uh, yeah?” “You’re a wonderful father to Alex and I know if you need to be you’ll be a wonderful father to this little girl as well.” Dad replied. “Not only are you a good father but you’re a good man.” My mom said as she stepped towards me for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her. “Here. Dad, you want to see?” I said showing him the sonogram “Oh, absolutely.”  He said as he took the phone from me. “Phillip. You are going to allow this?” Howie’s dad asked. “It's not really for me to allow.” Dad replied. “A man cannot raise a child fathered by another man, it's unnatural.” Howie’s father reiterated. “Says the expert in child-rearing, huh? I would think you would relate to Buck's decision. Father them and let someone else raise them.” “Howie.” Albert explained. “Whoa, Chim. It's-it's okay.” I said. “A man who cannot control his family is not a man.” Howie’s dad added to already building tension. “Maybe a man who's too controlling forces his sons to hide from him in another country.” My dad fired back. “Okay, easy. Come on, Dad.” I said. “Children need to learn that actions have consequences.” “I'm sorry, but how is any of this your business?” my mom asked Howie’s dad. “He did announce it to everyone.” Albert’s mom said. ‘Well, that wasn't exactly my choice.” I said, making it clear. “It was a bad choice.” “My dad helping out my mom wasn’t a bad choice, you’re just mean.” Alex called out. “Alex. Honey, you can not talk to adults like that.” “See this is exactly what I am talking about. Your child has no manners and you plan to raise another?” “Oh, that's rich.” My dad replied yet again, kicking everything off. Everyone started to argue until due to a storm the lights went out.   “Buck, grab some candles, we got the doors”. Howie called me. As mom played with Jee and Alex, Maddie and I talked. “I think maybe Albert was right.” I said to Maddie. “Oh, I wouldn't say that out loud.” “Ever think about what it might've been like...?” “What?” “If Daniel had lived.” I asked her. “Yeah, sometimes.” “You?” Just then the lights came back on and everyone was relieved. “I think it would've been just like this.” Y/n’s POV (Think of this happening at the same time as Buck’s) I was sitting on the couch after cleaning when I heard a knock on the door. “Did you forget your key or something Buck?” I swung open the door and there stood Eddie. I crossed my arms and clenched my fists tight. The nerve he had to show up here. “What are you doing here Eddie?” “I’m here to talk to you. You haven’t spoken to me in a month. At least not without a third party being involved. I haven’t gone to any of your appointments since then.” “You barely went before so what’s the difference?” “Y/n, how long are we going to do this? Huh? Are we gonna be those parents that drag their kids through hell?” “Don’t do that. I can’t do this right now.” “So when are we going to do this? Talk things out?” “I don’t know Eddie. It’s only been a month.” “We need to talk about this.” “No. I need time. Time away from you. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to talk to you.” I went to shut the door on Eddie but he put his hand there to stop it. “I miss you Y/n. Christopher missed you.” “I miss Christopher too. He’s more than welcome over here, because you’re pissed with Buck you won’t let him over here.” Eddie was quiet. “Eddie, I want to move forward but I need to do it at my own pace. The way you’re behaving isn’t helping.  I mean I feel like you aren’t even sorry.” “I am sorry. I will always be sorry for what I did. Not only because I hurt you but because I destroyed everything we built when I did it. I’m so sorry Y/n.” “I hear you Eddie I do, but I still need time. Okay?” “Alright. I’ll go. I love you y/n.” I still loved Eddie but I didn’t know if I was in love with him anymore. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Time went on and eventually Buck came home. “Hey, where’s Alex?” “She’s spending the night at Maddie and Chim’s house.” “I thought the house wasn’t done and what clothes is she going to wear?” “Our daughter is a sneaky one. She put her clothes in my truck along with a sleeping bag. How am I supposed to say no to that?” “I’m sure it’s really easy but she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” “Yeah, she does.” Buck came and sat down beside me on the couch. “So it’s just the two of us tonight, what are we doing? “I was thinking of doing something a little risky…” “Oh really?” “Oh yeah.” “How risky we talking?” “Oh you know, I’m gonna change and slip into something a little more comfortable, and then…” “Then what?” “We’re gonna eat so much ice cream our guts explode and watch trashy reality tv.” “Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Buck said. We’d always had that joking relationship that could be borderline sexual but now that we actually live together the sexual part was definitely a no-no. “I’ll be back.” I went upstairs to change. “What kind of ice cream we doing tonight, Rocky road or fudge?” “Ooh, let’s do a rocky road tonight.” I started to change when I felt a warm sensation in my pants. I looked down at my now ruined pants and noticed blood. I carefully rushed down the stairs. Buck was facing away from me but heard me come down the stairs. “You changed already, that was fast.” He turned around and saw my expression. “What’s the matter?” “I’m bleeding.” I could tell Buck wasn’t catching on to what I was saying. “Like down there.” Buck became a panicked nervous mess. “Oh my god! Okay. Let me grab my shoes and my keys and we’ll throw you in the car.” Before I could say anything he darted off. He looked around the front door and then made his way into the living room. “Where are my shoes? Where are my keys?” “Buck calm down. Your keys are on the hook and your shoes are in the room. I’m gonna put on a pad and change, while I’m doing that, call Dr.Manning.” “Alright.” I went into the room changed and put on a pad in case of more bleeding. When I came back down, Buck was waiting on me. “Dr.Manning is going to meet us at the hospital.” “Okay.” We made our way downstairs and got into the car when I realized I forgot to call Eddie. I went to reach my phone and couldn’t find it. “Buck, can you call Eddie? I left my phone inside the loft.” “Yeah of course.” Buck called Eddie but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey Eddie, I’m taking Y/n to the hospital to see Dr.Manning. Call me back when you get this,” He hung up and turned towards me. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?” “No, I'm doing okay, just the bleeding.” I was trying to keep a leveled head but my mind was racing. It was going to places I didn’t want it to go. “You know when I was pregnant with Alex I had a scare kind of like this. I was in the hospital for 2 days. They said her heart rate was low and there was a chance I could lose her. What if I lose this baby Buck?” My tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. Buck grabbed my hand and caressed it.“Don’t think like that. We’re going to see Dr.Manning and she’s going to tell us that that beautiful baby girl of yours is okay and whatever is happening is probably normal, okay?” “Okay. Thanks Buck.” “Of course.” He said as he kissed my hand. Buck and I arrived at the hospital where Dr.Manning was waiting. She ushered us into the ultrasound room and began to take a sonogram. “Okay, let’s take a look.” She moved the wand around and I saw how she squinted at the screen. “Here’s the baby right here. Let’s hear this heartbeat.” She moved over and I heard her heartbeat. It sounded good or at least I think. “That’s a strong and healthy heart beat right there.” I let out a relieved breath. She moved the wand around more until she stopped at this big blob. “Okay, here’s the problem. You’re suffering from Placenta previa. It’s when the placenta completely or partially covers the opening of the uterus. How bad was the bleeding?” “If I was on my period I would say it’s a light flow.” “And are you still bleeding now.” “No, I don't feel anything.” “I’m gonna keep you here for the rest of the night and monitor everything. In the morning I’ll let you know whether or not you’ll be discharged. Let me just say since it’s your second child it’s more than likely gonna resolve itself. What’s your birthing plan?” “I planned on doing a vaginal birth.” “Okay. We’re going to do more appointments than usual and if this resolves itself we can go ahead with that plan. If not we’re going to have to do a c-section delivery. Okay?” “Alright.” “Dad is more than welcome to stay if he would like. I’m going to make sure a room is prepared and ready for you. Let me know if you need anything.” I didn’t feel like correcting her about Buck in any way. “Okay.” She departed the room and Buck and I sat there almost as if we were waiting on the other person to say something first.” “Do you want me to stay with you?” Buck said, breaking the silence. “Only if you’d like to.” “Of course I would. Do you want me to go home and get anything?” “No I’m okay. It’s just for the night right?” “Right.” Soon a nurse came and brought us to the room we would be staying in for the night and we got comfortable. Sometime throughout the night the anxiety left me and before I knew it I was asleep. I was awoken by a nurse and Dr. Manning coming in. Buck was already awake. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” “I’m fine. Just nervous to be honest.” “Well I have good news, we found nothing concerning while monitoring you over night so that means you can go home. We’ll be having more frequent visits but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” “That’s great thanks doc.” Buck replied. “Just doing my job, but this does mean a few things. No moderate or strenuous exercise, heavy lifting, standing for long periods of time and sadly no sexual intercourse or sexual activity that could lead to orgasm. At least until the baby is born.” I wanted to dig a hole so deep and crawl in it. “Any followup questions?” “Nope, I’m good. You got any, Y/n?” Buck replied with a grin. “She’s covered everything. Thanks, we’ll be out of your hair now.” Dr. Manning said her goodbyes to us, leaving alone to brew in the awkwardness. “No sex until the baby gets here. Well I guess there’s no point in you living with me anymore.” I believe that was Buck’s bad attempt at a joke. “Haha, so funny. Besides it’s mostly if the issue doesn’t resolve itself I think.” I don’t know why I answered like it was a serious possibility. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I quickly made my way out of the room in order to avoid talking about this any further.

crush culture : part twenty-eight

synopsis : ln yn has always flirted with huang renjun. but they do that with literally everyone else too, they couldn’t possibly be serious about pursuing him, right? on their final year of university, yn is determined to show that they are. with all the walls that renjun has built around himself, will they be strong enough to succeed in tearing them down? pairing : huang renjun x gn!reader genre/s : university + student council au, fluff, angst, pining, slice of life, humor part 28 wc : ~1k

part twenty-eight : clear skies

previous  ➤ part twenty-seven : doing great sweeties next  ➤  part twenty-nine crush culture ➤  masterlist 

yangyang needed this. that’s all there is to it.

technically, he could have asked to reschedule. the project was due next week, he could have waited until jungwoo recovered so you could work on this particular part together. but you had already made that statement : it was only going to be you and him. and if he was really about to let you go, completely and truthfully, then this was an opportunity that he had to take.

part of it feels like a betrayal. renjun is practically his best friend, and there’s a tinge of guilt that makes its way to his system when he waits outside your final class of the day. even more so when you greet him with a large grin the second your eyes meet his.

“did you wait long?”

yangyang shook his head, keeping his voice as even as possible, “felt like i aged ten years just from standing here.”

“whatever, yang. let’s go.” you rolled your eyes, but kept that same smile on your face as you lead the way. 

let it happen, yang. he reminded himself. give yourself this one day.

it wasn’t even a full day to begin with; it was an afternoon. 

an afternoon of going through dusty library shelves for books neither of you were ever going to read, kissing up to librarians of universities neither of you attended, pacing back and forth between rows and rows of wooden tables and trying not to bump into any of the corners. 

boring for most, but it would have to be enough for him.

because now here he is, walking the cobblestoned paths of his college campus, the sun long gone and you’re right next to him.

you’re talking about something, but he’s not entirely sure what. he sees your lips moving, sound falls on his ears, but he just couldn’t make out the words. too distracted by the fact that if he moved just a few inches closer, your hand would brush against his own.

the sound of a text notification snaps him out of his trance as both of you completely stop walking so you could check.

even under the harsh glare of your phone’s brightness, or the worried furrow that appeared between your brows, or that small pout that formed on your bottom lip, you were breathtaking. exactly why his heart broke the tiniest bit when he’s unable to help himself from sneaking a glance at the text haechan had sent. 

“you should go to him.”

his voice is clear, breaking through the crisp night air. not a single shroud of hesitation. not the the slightest waver to his voice.

the pout on your lips grows deeper, “but we were supposed to have dinner together.”

the two of you vowed that afternoon that if you finished the list of libraries your professor had tasked the class to visit, you would get dinner together in celebration. he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, especially not to you and definitely not to renjun, but he worked a little harder than usual today. 

oh well.

when it’s between him or renjun, yangyang knew exactly who you’d pick.

“we can go some other time… at least junwoo can be with us too.” yangyang reassures, but he’s unable to look at you directly. instead, his gaze finds its way to the sky above his head.

dark. clear. filled with stars, bright and twinkling. complimented by the moon, big and beaming and almost overwhelmingly enchanting. you couldn’t help but look up too.

“woah,” you let out a low whistle.

yangyang nods in agreement, “beautiful, isn’t it?”

“i know.”

it’s the way you looked back at him, the slight shift in the tone of your voice that lets him know. you knew. there’s no need for an explanation to the underlying meaning. you just knew. 

maybe it was jungwoo that tipped you off. maybe a part of you always knew, you just chose not to believe it. it doesn’t matter, it’s all out in the open now.

you couldn’t help the way your feet moved on their own, closing the already small space between you. you’re unable to stop your arms from wrapping around him, engulfing him in a hug. at the the end of the day, he was still one of your closest friends. it broke your heart to break his, unknowingly it may be.

yangyang chuckles and you feel it when he hugs you back, pulling you even closer to his chest, “what’s this for?”

“i’m sorry,” you mumble. the words don’t feel enough, but you couldn’t find anything else to say. your chest tightens, guilt creeping into your veins.

“don’t be,” he shakes his head and pulls away slightly, placing his hands on your shoulders so his gaze could meet yours, “i’ll survive.”

yangyang smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. not in the way it always does. before you could part your lips to say something else, he’s already let go of you, gently pushing you towards the direction of the council room. where renjun was. where your heart belonged.

“go. i’ll be okay.”

you knew, and that was enough for him. 

“they’re going to be so lucky. the next person who captures your heart.” you say with a smile, sincere and hopeful for what the future had in store for him.  

“thank you, yn. for everything.” yangyang smiles at you one last time, raising a hand to wave at you as you walked away from him.

it’s silent, a slight breeze blowing past him. there’s a dull ache that fills his chest, it doesn’t sting like he expected it too. but he lets himself feel it as he stands there, feet glued to the ground beneath his feet. he can’t help but watch your figure grow smaller and smaller until you eventually disappear from his line of sight. a sigh escapes his lips, pained and heavy. 

it’s a complicated feeling; while the dull ache in his chest remained, a weight had also been lifted off his shoulders.  

he really did need this. 

and with one last look at the clear night sky, yangyang finally lets you go. 

from reese, with love <3 didn’t feel right to end this series without a proper acknowledgement of yang’s feelings from yn... sorry for the angst, but dw it’s going to be fluffy from here :) thank you sm for reading !! as always, id love to know what you think :)) hope you are all doing well and taking care of yourselves :))

also,, don’t hurt too much for best boy second lead yang-- i do have something planned for him ;> 

2019

AN: so this isn’t technically dad!jack it’s how he became a dad lmao

requested? no

warnings: creepy gas station guy, mentions of smut, and talks about birth control

Word Count: 3.1k words

June 2019

Monse looked down at her phone and rolled her eyes. She hung up without answering and focused on all of the poems she had to use in the comparative paper she was going to write. She turned up the volume of her laptop in hopes that the classical music would drown out her phone’s constant ringing. It didn’t.

“No!” She said when she answered. 

“C’mon, I haven’t seen you in weeks.” the voice whined on the other side. “I missed you.”

“I have finals to prepare for and several research papers to write. Also, you didn’t miss me, you missed that I kept your dick warm.” Monse said before hanging up.

Not even thirty seconds later her phone started ringing once more. She sighed dramatically and answered. “What do you want Jack?” 

“Have you eaten?” he asked her.

Monse looked over to the half eaten Uncrustable on her desk that she got for breakfast. “No.”

“Come out with me for a bit, I’m buying.” he offered. 

She stayed quiet, considering her options. She could make a Maruchan with Valentina and stress about her school work until it was three in the morning OR she could take a well deserved study break and get some free food and sex out of it. 

“Fine,” she sighed, giving in.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

She hung up and tossed her phone on the bed. She quickly changed out of her bleach stained UCLA sweatpants that dye changed into when she showered in the morning to a pair of clean panties and high waisted denim booty shorts. She shrugged off the baggy hoodie and put on a cropped long sleeve top. She tossed everything in her closet and rushed to the shared bathroom across the hall. She cursed hearing the shower run. She knocked urgently. 

“Serena, let me in. I need to brush my teeth.” Monse yelled through the door.

“No, you’re gonna make the water cold.” Serena, her roommate and best friend, responded. 

“Serena, please, he’s already outside.” she begged.

“Who, Macklemore?” her best friend asked with an amused tone.

Serena calling Jack, by every other white male rapper to ever exist, was a running joke between them dating back to their high school days when he actually started to take his rap career seriously. Serena was from Louisville but moved to LA for school. Jack and Serena have been friends since he was switched to her preschool class after he bit a kid in his former class for hogging the handball during recess. She was the only kid that wasn't scared of him, she has three older brothers that taught her how to fight and could easily take Jack if necessary. They were inseparable until Jack started focusing more on his music career while Serena was more concentrated on getting into college.

She and Monse were assigned to be roommates their freshman year at UCLA. They've been inseparable since then. Which was how Monse met Jack. He was in LA working on music and decided to stop by to see Serena, who he hadn't seen since before she left for summer bridge. 

Monse's first impression of Jack was that he was very confident and flirty but at the same time he was a bit dorky in a way that was cute. He didn't have the best style but the way he carried himself was enough for her to notice him. For almost three years, every time he'd go and visit Serena, he would always try to make a move on Monse, but she'd kindly rejected him. 

It wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted to him; she had a thing for tall dorky funny guys. In the back of her head her parents' voices, specifically her mom's, constantly nagged her about how she needed to concentrate on school and not let boys distract her because they could affect her grades and her life in general. She was already on thin ice for not pursuing bioengineering like them and her sisters. That was until a few months ago when Serena was spending the weekend with her boyfriend and forgot to tell Jack that she wasn't in town, leaving Monse to entertain him. They found a bottle of Centenario tequila in the fridge. A few shots later, they both got more flirty and went for it. 

That night was the beginning of their long distance friends with benefits. It became a routine whenever he was in LA he’d hit her up. The first few times they tried hiding it from Serena, but she found out soon after hearing Monse moan Jack's name. She said she found it weird because she saw the both of them as siblings, but at the end of the day it wasn’t her place to say anything because both were good people and she trusted them to know what they were getting themselves into. Though she did warn Jack not to fuck it up because Monse was her only friend that was a girl. 

Monse knew her place in Jack’s life. She was aware of his reputation and how he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Neither was she. Which was why she didn't mind that he had other girls to hook up with just as long as they were on the same page. Considering that she was the most permanent girl on Jack's roster and she was on the pill, they agreed to have sex with without a condom, as long as they used protection with the other people they hooked up with. And if there was ever a slip up and they had unprotected sex with someone else, they were to let the other know and get tested. Fortunately for them, there hasn't been one.

After five seconds, Serena unlocked the door and let Monse in. She rushed in and hastily brushed her teeth as her best friend dried her hair with her diffuser. While she was at it, Monse put on deodorant and did a simple makeup look consisting of concealer to hide her dark under eyes, mascara to make her look awake and lipgloss because she liked lipgloss. She undid her braid and let her hair loose. 

"Are you and Miles coming back here?" Monse asked. 

"No, he's taking me to Santa Barbara for the weekend, so I won't be back until Sunday afternoon." Serena said, gently separating her curls.

"Okay," she nodded.

"Here," her best friend said, placing a handful of condoms on the sink. "I know your procrastinating ass hasn't picked your birth control refill." 

"Jack always has some." Monse pushed them back to her.

"What if he doesn't have any?"

"Babe, he's paranoid and always carries condoms like you carry mints. We'll be fine." Monse's phone buzzed in her back pocket. It was Jack. "Okay I have to go. I'll see you Sunday and have fun with your man."

"Have fun with G-Eazy." Serena called out.

Monse rolled her eyes. She grabbed her bag and keys. She jogged down the flight of stairs that led to the outdoor parking spaces. Jack leaned against his rental car that was parked perpendicular to Serena's Honda Civic. He wore black basketball shorts with a grey zip up hoodie and a white tank top under. 

"Hi." She said walking up to him.

She wrapped her arms around his stomach and stood on her tippy-toes. Jack met her halfway and cupped her face with his hands, bringing their lips together. He deepened their kiss, moaning into her mouth. 

"Tattoo-less Post Malone don't do that shit to Monse in public." Serena yelled at them from her apartment window. 

Jack pulled away from Monse and looked up at the window. He raised his left hand and flipped Serena off. 

“I’m calling your mother.” she said.

“Does your mother know where you’re going this weekend? I’m sure Dr. Wilson would like to know what you're up to this weekend.” 

Serena looked over to Monse. “Again, what do you see in him?”

“Go finish getting ready, you haven’t finished packing. I’ll deal with his dumbass.” Monse said. She turned to Jack and nodded her head towards her car. “We’re taking my car, so you can park there and I’ll take Serena’s spot when we get back.”

“Why? My car is right here.” Jack asked, pointing at his rental. 

“I need to get gas.”

He nodded and went to his car to wait for her to pull out of her parking spot, so he could take it. Then he got in her Honda accord. He pushed the seat back so his legs could fit in the passenger seat. He pulled out his phone and connected it to get AUX. 

“Wanna hear what I’ve been working on at the studio?” he asked her.

“I guess, since you already connected your phone.” Monse shrugged as she looked over her shoulder to switch lanes. 

Jack gave her a pointed look then looked down at his phone. He scrolled down to his new song and pressed play. He shifted in his seat to watch Monse’s reaction. She kept a neutral face while the song played. Her lip twitched at the ‘Shego’ line; it was a nod to her when she sent Jack pictures of herself as a sluty Shego before she headed out to a Halloween frat party with Serena, who was dressed as Kim Possible. She scrunched up her face, trying not to smile which was her way of saying that the song was good. 

“So?” he asked, switching to Spotify to play some Mac Miller. 

“I asked you one time if I hurt you while going down on you and you use it in a song?” she shook her head. 

"You know I'm sensitive." He 

"You're so annoying." 

“Can I be real?” Jack asked her. She nodded, letting him know to continue. “I was kinda nervous to work with the producer who worked on this.”

“Why’s that?” 

“She was a girl–”

“Ay que hueva, women can produce–”

“Let me fucking finish, damn.” Jack cut her off.

“Okay pues, finish.”

“I was nervous to work with her because she only worked with this work band under Ryan Tedder.”

“Are you talking about Aaliyah Douglas?” Monse asked.

“How do you know her?”

“She’s Alexis Ximena’s best friend.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“Remember when you came over a while back and we binged that one show about the kids that are trapped in a dome and get superpowers.”

“Deadass, I don't pay attention to what you have playing on your Mac, I'm just tryna smash.” he smirked.

“I can’t stand you.” she rolled her eyes. 

Monse pulled up to an empty pump and grabbed her wallet. She read the paper in front of the card reader and frowned. It said that the card reader wasn't working, so she had to go inside to put money in the pump. 

“I have to go inside the store to pay, do you want something?” she asked Jack.

“I’m good,” he said. “Want me to go in with you?”

“Nah,” she said, getting out.

Jack kept an eye out on her while she was in the store. She was in and out in less than five minutes with some Turbo Flamas. A stereotypical white gas station guy in a wife beater began to walk behind her, rambling off about her ass. Jack quickly got out and went up to her, putting his arm over her shoulders.  

“Fuck off, man.” he said to the guy when he noticed he was still following them. He nodded to Monse to get in the car. 

“Whatever, she's not even that hot, man.” The guy yelled before he walked away. 

Jack leaned in the car window and asked her softly, “you okay? He didn’t try anything?”

She nodded, “I’m okay.” 

He nodded and filled up her car. Once he finished he climbed back in and drove them to Monse’s taco shop in LA. She was from San Diego and nothing could compare to the tacos from down there. The shop was a small hole in the wall restaurant. The inside was just the kitchen and the small stand where people go to make their orders. By the entrance was a large window that was converted into a long bar with stools for people to sit and eat. There were also some tables outside of the restaurant for people to dine there as well. 

Jack parked across from the taco shop and put in a few quarters. He opened Monse’s door and guided her to the cross walk. Hand in hand they crossed the street and went to the shop. 

When they got there, there were only two people in line. Monse ordered for them, Jack tended to get flustered when he ordered and got the wrong thing. She got a plate of carne asada fries with a tamarindo flavored Jarrito and for Jack a California burrito with a Mexican coke. She made sure that their foods were without guacamole or any sort of avocado because she was allergic to avocado. They learned their lesson on her birthday a few weeks ago because she felt itchy when Jack went down on her, and had to take her to the ER. They learnt that even the smallest trace can cause her an allergic reaction, so Jack never ate avocado when he was with her. 

Jack tapped his card and signed the receipt.

"That's a new one." Monse nodded at his signature. 

"I'm testing out new ones for when I make it big and people ask for autographs." He said taking the other receipt. 

"Maybe wait because who knows when that will be." She said sweetly before sipping on her drink. 

"This is how you treat me after I buy you food?" He said with a solemn face, touching his heart. "You wound me, Mon-say." 

"You know damn well that I'm only out here because you promised me food."

*

After they ate, they went back to her apartment. Monse had a poem analysis due at midnight, so she was finishing that up. Jack laid on her bed, scrolling through movies on his phone to see which movie they should play as background noise for when they had sex.

"I didn't know Ray J's sister was in this?" Jack said out loud. "Hell, I didn't even know there was a sequel to this."

"What?" She asked, as she formatted her work to MLA. 

"They have 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer' on Netflix." He passed her his phone. 

"Did you just call thee Brandy Norwood, Ray J's sister? Put some respect on Cinderella." Monse shook her head. 

"Is she not his sister?" He asked. 

"How do you know him but not Brandy?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "She's way more famous than him. I didn't even know they were siblings until I watched a rerun of Punked." 

Jack simply shrugged. 

"One of these days, not knowing who Brandy is, if gonna bite you in the ass." She warned him. 

"I take it that we're watching this." 

"Yes." She nodded, ticking off all the bullet points she had to put in the submission box. 

After that she pulled up Netflix on her tv and searched for the movie on the search tab. Once she found it, she pressed play. Monse switched to a pair of baggy sweats that she was positive were Jack's and climbed in bed with him. Her bed was big enough for her to lay her head on Jack's stomach while he laid lengthwise in the middle of the bed. 

Monse lost interest when the actor who played Fred Jones in the Scooby-Doo movies almost got killed. She looked up at Jack to see if he was bored since he usually got bored five minutes into a movie and tried to make a move on her but he was actually watching. She rolled her eyes and looked in front of her. 

That was when she noticed that Jack's tank top rode up, revealing a happy trail. Monse smiled mischievously and slid her hand down to the sliver of bare skin. Her fingertips lightly danced on the drawstrings of Jack’s shorts. 

“Don’t even think about it.” Jack said, pushing himself to sit up.

“You say that as if you weren't the one blowing up my phone not even two hours ago.” Monse said, straddling his lap.

“Now I got you how I wanted you.” he smirked before pulling to close the gap between them. 

It didn’t take long for them to get naked. Jack used his other hand to pull one of her legs over his waist as he deepened their kiss. Monse loosened the grip around his waist and used her thighs to grind into him. Jack groaned in pleasure. What felt like an eternity later, he pulled away and kissed down her body. He pulled away from her lips and kissed down to her chest. He tweaked one of her nipples while he nipped and sucked her other breast. Satisfied with the love bites on her chest, he captured her lips once more. Monse desperately needed him inside of her. She yearned to have him inside of her. 

As reading her mind, Jack pushed himself up to give himself some room. He held his cock in his hand ready to slip it in Monse, but she stopped him.

“What’s up?” he asked her.

“Do you have condoms? I ran out of the pill like two weeks ago and I haven’t gone to get more because I was busy with finals and stuff–”

“You don’t have to explain.” Jack reassured her. He reached down for his shorts and checked his wallet. He cursed when he came out empty. “I don’t have any.”

“Wait! Serena left a bunch in the bathroom.” Monse said, remembering.

“I’ll get them.” 

Jack put on his boxers. He went down the hallway to the bathroom. There was nothing. He checked the medicine cabinet and there was nothing but skin care products and feminine products. He looked under the sink and came up empty. 

“Are you sure she left them in the bathroom?” Jack asked her when he returned to her room.

“Yeah, she put them on top of the sink. Are they not there?” Monse panicked. He shook his head. “Fuck, and all the stores near are always out.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m sure this one time won’t kill us. I’ll get you a Plan B in the morning if that makes you feel better.” 

“Yeah that’s fine.” she agreed.

Jack kicked off his boxers and climbed in bed. “So where were we?”

Taglist: @cherryxcreme ​​ @heavyhitterheaux ​​ @carma-fanficaddict ​​ @youngharleezy ​​ @youngharleezyxo @babyharleezy ​​ @that-90s-girllll ​​ @alinaharlow ​​ @whywontyoulovemecami ​​​​ @meyocoko ​​ @harlowcomehome ​​ @nattinatalia ​​  ​​ @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento ​ ​

I know you asked for prompts a bit ago so I hope you don’t mind me jumping in here! But I wanted to offer up a cute idea that I’ve been thinking about with the twins (Afo and yoichi) in a kinder world/fix it of some kind. I may use this idea in the future too, so i hope you don’t mind me sharing anyway ^^’ without further ado, here it is!

Once someone explains to the twins that they are in fact twins, even IDENTICAL twins, they start pretending to be the other at times. Although everyone can tell who is who - not only because of the way they wear their hair, but also because Afo is significantly taller than yoichi. And also because when the twins try to play this trick, they can’t stop laughing.

I’m imagining this when they are young, but feel free to do with this what you will! Hope you are doing well!!!

HA! It would be hilarious if they tried to pull the “we’re identical twins” shtick, but they still look different like in canon.

(Here’s just a quick, cute thingy for ya! I’m using Daiki for AFO’s name from the other ask!)

Daiki, giddy and trying to suppress a smirk, quickly sat at the desk. He tugged his blue shirt down after it pulled up due to hardly fitting him and his slacks were almost unbearably tight. He ignored the outfit best he could because this was going to be hilarious!

As his classmates filed in, Daiki covered his snicker as he waited for his twin brother to make his appearance. Finally, Yoichi came in last and, wearing a huge grin, sat down at another desk. He too wore a blue shirt and matching slacks though his didn’t bunch up or look overly tight, something Daiki purposely ignored.

Their teacher came in and smiled at the class, her eyebrow arching as she noticed Daiki and Yoichi.

“Oooookay, class, we’re going to take roll call. As normal, let me know you’re here when I call out your name!”

She began to go down the list until she arrived at the Shigaraki brothers.

“Daiki?”

Giggles escaped Yoichi’s lips as he raised his hand and said “Present!”. Their teacher blinked as she looked between Daiki and Yoichi.

“And…Yoichi?” She asked with an edge of exasperation.

“Present!” Daiki answered between his chortles.

Their teacher sighed and covered her face. From behind her hand she said, “Daiki. Yoichi. Sweethearts. I know you guys are twins—”

“Identical twins!” They shouted in unison.

“Yes, technically identical, but—”

“You two are crazy! You guys look almost nothing alike! Isn’t that your fault, Daiki?” One of the boys said which resulted in the majority of the class breaking out into raucous laughter.

Daiki pushed the chair out from under him strong enough to crash into the desk behind his and was in front of the obnoxious kid in mere seconds. He towered over the boy, as he did all the other kids in the class, and glowered down at the now shaking child.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard you right.” He growled.

The boy put up his hands and stuttered, “You two are identical! You two are identical!”

Daiki’s fake smile took up the majority of his features. “Thank you!”

“Daiki, leave him alone! And please tell me you have a change of clothes! My God, you two are going to be the death of me.”

Yoichi looked between the teacher and his brother, who had made his way back to Yoichi’s actual desk.

Innocently, he asked, “How did you tell us apart?!”

Big dumb album of the year post, here we fucking go:

Punk

A lot of the punk releases that crossed my radar this year were really hardcore-y hardcore or weak-ass "indie punk" shit, and that doesn't do a lot for me. And like, who cares if Rancid are still making music? Does Tim Armstrong even need any more money at this point?

This year I liked All Together Now from Cop/Out and All Riot from Angry Youth Elite. GEL's Only Constant sadly wasn't a patch on 2021's Violent Closure (though I did get to see them live and they put on a hell of a show), and I look forward to seeing Killing Daisies develop their sound following a pretty strong debut with Break the Silence. The HIRS Collective are at their best at their grindiest IMO, but I still liked lots of We're Still Here. Slutbomb's EP Commodified Identity is exactly what I want punk to sound like, but this year's winner is Dog Park Dissidents with their debut The Pink and Black Album.

I've talked before about my frustration with the state of queer punk at the minute, which largely seems to consist of didactic lyricism, indie-pop influences, and the basics of liberal feminism presented as radical politics. Not so with Dog Park Dissidents: their lyrics are frequently funny and occasionally surprisingly emotive, their political content is incisive, and while we're not talking face-melting blast-beats here, the songs are genuinely entertaining. Half of the songs on this album have more to say than the entire discographies of some punk bands, and are pretty catchy too.

Favourite tracks: Rainbow Drones, Host, Class Struggle

Grindcore

I haven't listened to much new grind this year; I don't know what releases have even happened. There must be some good stuff that passed me by - let me know what I missed!

The Full of Hell collaborations weren't really my thing, but Haggus' EP What's Your Excuse was great as ever. Sometimes trawling bandcamp you can strike gold such as Coming Apart from Tolerances Of The Human Face In Crash Impacts or Human Decay from Rancid Stench. There was only ever gonna be one winner this year, however, and it's Gridlink's Coronet Juniper.

What can I even say about this? Gridlink have done it again. Somehow, even after guitarist Takafumi Matsubara's stroke in 2014, they've managed another album that's almost as perfect as Longhena. Their "technical grindcore" sound is unique and electrifying; Gridlink are untouchable. Nobody sounds like them. I'm blown away.

Favourite tracks: Silk Ash Cascade, Anhalter Bahnhof, Octave Serpent

Black Metal

It's been a fucking good year for black metal.

Between Panopticon's The Rime of Memory, Underdark's Managed Decline, Blackbraid's Blackbraid II, and Trespasser's Αποκάλυψισ, there's been plenty of excellent releases to keep me busy (can you tell I got into this through RABM?). I thought the production felt a little thin on the final Dawn Ray'd album, To Know the Light - the lack of a bassist hurt here, more than on any prior release - but I had the good fortune to be at the album release show, and it was the best gig of my entire fucking life, so this album holds a special place for me. Sad to see these guys go.

Fadheit's EP Afterglow deserves a special shout-out for carrying the torch of Lifelover's brand of depressive black metal, a sound I'll never get enough of. Probably everyone's black metal album of the year is going to be Saturnian Bloodstorm by Lamp of Murmuur, and that's well-deserved. This is possibly the best Lamp release yet, and I'm very into the freezing Immortal-esque guitar tone on this one. I'll be going back to Saturnian Bloodstorm for a long time, but the album I've actually enjoyed the most this year is Immortal themselves, with War Against All.

It's a rare enough thing for a band to keep releasing quality music for thirty years - even Darkthrone have had their misses - but Immortal are still going strong. You could be forgiven for phoning it in at this point, but I don't get that impression: as much as black metal can be "fun," I feel like Demonaz is still having fun, and I had a lot of fun with this album too. If you like black metal, there's plenty to like here.

Favourite tracks: No Sun, Return to Cold, Wargod

Ska

Ska is going from strength to strength right now; the past few years have been some of the genre's best in a long long time. This year I was delighted to see Mustard Plug releasing music again with the excellent Where Did All My Friends Go? and I enjoyed a lot of Poindexter's upbeat ska-pop debut album Treats. I scratched my ska-punk itch with Public Serpent's caustic The Bully Puppet and HEY-SMITH's frantic Rest in Punk. Popes of Chillitown's latest Take a Picture has something for everyone, drawing from about a hundred genre influences.

Still, my favourite ska album of this year is Plastic Presidents' debut Good Times Can't Last.

Please, please, do yourself a favour and listen to that opening track. This is one hell of an attention-grabbing debut, without a single skip on the tracklist, covering dancey 2-tone-era ska-punk through to aggressive skacore. If this was the only album they ever released, they'd have earned a spot in my pantheon: I'll be following eagerly to see what they do next.

Favourite tracks: Chains, West Omaha is a Terrible Place and I'm Definitely Afraid to Die, Break Free

Other

This "category" is one hell of a grab bag, but I don't know where else to put Tomb Mold, one of the only death metal bands I unreservedly love. Their most recent release The Enduring Spirit is sure to end up on a lot of album of the year lists.

The Nearly Deads' We Are the Nearly Deads is pretty much what I want rock to be (that is, completely without trace of any fucking metalcore influences!). I have a soft spot for symphonic metal, and Chapter III - Downfall from Ad Infinitum hit that spot this year. Finally, while I preferred Brave Murder Day-era Katatonia, I still like the goth rock thing they've been doing basically ever since then, and Sky Void of Stars is one of their better albums in that vein.

My left-field pick for Album of the Year, however, is Shit Present's What Still Gets Me.

I usually can't stand the kind of thing that's just punk-adjacent enough for the algorithms to insist on trying to force it into my ears. I didn't expect to like this, either - but it's really, really good. Like, I should hate anything you can describe as "emo-pop," but I don't, here. I love it. The songs are so well-crafted, the vocals so perfectly-delivered; there's an energy and emotion to this album that's had me listening to it on repeat since May.

Check it out: it's the best album of 2023.

Favourite tracks: Voice in Your Head, More to Lose, Cram the Page

TTTE AU: Cockade the Actor

Recently, I’ve been playing around with an au!Diesel 10 that fits into a more RWS-type world. Known as D810, or Cockade, he isn’t villainous or bigoted against steam engines. This is in part because he noticed a growing disdain for diesel-hydraulics such as him, thus realizing he wasn’t in too dissimilar of a boat.

Where most of his class didn’t survive, Cockade did. He was a warm, affable engine who endeared himself to many people. He was also something many of his siblings weren’t: a minor celebrity.

Ever since a background appearance in a local commercial, Cockade wanted to be an actor. He pushed to appear in more commercials, instructional tapes, and TV episodes B.R. used to drum up good PR. These amounted to only several seconds of screen time apiece, but he loved it. He loved becoming a character, embodying part of a story. He thought it could help him work toward the silver screen.

And eagle-eyed rail fans recognized him in all his roles. He developed a small following that advocated on his behalf, working to get him — and at his urging, as many of his siblings as possible — preserved.

He never lost his passion for acting, nor his dream of a “big break.” So when the producers of a project called Thomas & The Magic Railroad came knocking, he all but threw himself at them.

His heritage railway loaned him out to the producers, who gave him his character’s — Diesel 10’s — livery and excavator claw. His enthusiasm and flair for dramatics proved infectious on set. He had only one serious hiccup: he tried method acting.

He didn’t mean any harm by it. He only wanted to try out a new technique; he wanted his first ever film performance to be his best and most convincing. But for all his good intentions, acting like his villainous character 24/7 got on everyone’s nerves.

Thomas, playing himself in the film, got fed up. “Do you want to ‘method act’ some bent buffers, too? I can help you with that.”

Cockade stared at him. “What?”

“The script calls for it, doesn’t it?”

“But that’s — oh. Ohhh.”

It was the wake-up call Cockade needed. Embarrassed, he apologized for his behavior and saved his acting for the cameras.

While still somewhat miffed at first, Thomas softened after Cockade helped him through some stage fright without any judgement. Cockade respected Thomas’ tenacity and sense of responsibility in turn. The two had a similar sense of humor, making each other laugh between takes and teasing the others.

He and Thomas also became close to Sarah, a recent custom-built engine cast as Lady. She gave as good as she got with their teasing, while also becoming interested in the technical aspects of film production and writing. Her perspective on something in the script was always fresh and helpful (even if it was critical).

The engines playing Splatter and Dodge — who didn’t have names of their own, and liked their characters’ names enough to adopt them — came out of their shells at everyone’s encouragement. They loved to ad-lib scenes with Cockade, and they contemplated going into improv comedy once their work was done with TATMR.

A good time was had by all. Cockade felt very satisfied with himself and the overall production, delighting in having so many new friends and connections in show business.

And then the film bombed at the box office.

These days, Cockade says it was a valuable lesson: there’s a lot of moving parts to a film production, and nothing can be perfect. You can only do your best with the part you have. What matters is that you had fun and you gained more experience.

It took him some time to absorb this lesson, though. He wondered if he could’ve done something more, if he could’ve helped. He feared this was the end of his career.

“I’ve been working towards this my entire life,” he said late one night. “I had plan, a vision, of my career. This was my chance at the big time. And now that I’ve had a taste of it, it’s all up in smoke.”

Sarah nudged him. “You read the books, yeah? Look at how many times Mr. Number One over there messed up. He’s still doing alright.”

Thomas only rolled his eyes a little. “My foul-ups did me a world of good, actually. I wouldn’t be famous if those stories didn’t get out.”

“Besides, so what if that’s it for your career or whatever?” Splatter asked. “You’ve been at the bottom.”

“S’not so bad down there. You’ll have us, for one,” Dodge said, grinning. “And if you went up that incline before, you can do it again.”

“…I can,” Cockade said after a pause. “Thanks to all of you.”

In the end, lots of people still liked his performance as Diesel 10. At his request, his heritage railway put him back into D10’s livery for “Day Out With Thomas” events. He auditioned and got to act in other, smaller productions. While typecast as a villain for some time, he considered that a small price to keep doing what he loved.

He still visits Sodor every now and then, both as himself and as Diesel 10. Thomas is always happy to see him. They often chat about how Sarah’s doing as a railway consultant in television writing. Other times, they listen together to Splatter & Dodge’s latest improv comedy podcast released online.

Cockade’s big break didn’t go as he imagined it, but that’s alright. He doesn’t need the glitz and glamour of Hollywood anymore to have a fulfilling career. To him, the fulfillment comes from the wonderful people he meets along the way.

“And failure is never forever,” he tells people, smiling. “It’s always an opportunity — if you let it be one.”

Dangerous and Delightful — Chapter 25 — To and fro

— PAIRING: Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader

— SYNOPSIS: Sebastian is a purveyor of forbidden artefacts, a dark arts researcher, and a curse-breaker for hire. Ominis, desperate to save him from himself, hires Reader in secret to persuade him, by any means necessary, to leave his illegal activities behind.

— WARNINGS: None

— WORDCOUNT: 1.6k

— TAGLIST: @bloofinntoona @sarcasticpluviophile @estrotica

They had a late breakfast that day and ventured out in the afternoon for the sake of going to Hogsmeade for shopping. They’d already started to run out of some of the food Sebastian had bought, and between the two of them could carry back more. It was a pleasant enough afternoon that walking refreshed them, and they could walk in silence side by side for a while.

It was almost like the walks they’d taken in Upper Flagley, on the pathway out of the village and through a bit of forest before turning back. She didn’t want to think about those days anymore. It reminded her that, however sweet Sebastian was, she really was trapped, and she shouldn’t have allowed herself to become complacent about it.

The new scenery helped. From flat fields and forests to high hills and mountains, and Hogwarts up by the lake, as grand and grey as it always had been. She smiled upon seeing it, feeling like she’d come back to her second home, before remembering they couldn’t really go inside. They were adults now — a ridiculous thing, really.

“What are you thinking?” asked Sebastian when he saw her gazing upwards. “Miss it?”

“Of course,” she replied.

“Those were better days…”

“Not all the time, but, yes.”

Seeing Hogwarts again also did something strange to her. It made her feel guilty… She remembered the first book of hexes she found when she and a friend slipped into the Restricted section one afternoon while the librarian had her lunch. She’d secreted it back to her dorm and read it the whole night, then read it again and again until she was sick of it. After that followed more, ever riskier and darker tomes mentioning the sort of curses they were never taught about. It was exhilarating, and yet there was an innocence about it that hadn’t yet been broken.

It would simmer for the following two years until it culminated, and receded, and after that, she swore off dark magic for good.

She wished she could have told Sebastian about it. And she could, technically, but somehow her pride wouldn’t let her. She’d criticised him so much and so thoroughly that to throw herself into the same pot as him would have been a death blow to her ego.

So she walked alongside him quietly, woven baskets in their hands, and stewed in her bittersweet memories and Sebastian’s unspoken questions.

Hogsmeade was just as she remembered it to be. Nothing had changed. Not even the sweets on display in the stalls or the brooms up for sale. It made her smile to see it so frozen in time.

“Do you want to go somewhere before shopping?” he asked. “We could step into The Three Broomsticks for a pint.”

“I don’t feel like drinking this early in the day.”

“Or just a butterbeer, then. Or something else.”

“Fine, alright…”

Sebastian grinned brightly. When he got enthusiastic like that, she knew she couldn’t shake him off.

The inside of the place was more dark and dingy than she recalled, or perhaps it was just like that compared to the bright light of the afternoon. There weren’t many students out, and for that she was grateful. The pair sat down at a table near the windows and she looked at the people strolling outside while Sebastian got their drinks.

She looked at all the other witches and wizards, and even at the few students on a break there between classes, and realised she was probably the only witch without a wand among them. It made her feel incredibly bitter toward Sebastian again, and fairly vulnerable, but by the time Sebastian returned she’d put on a smile and tried to enjoy herself.

“I wish we would’ve been friends during school,” he said, cupping his cold glass of ale. “We could’ve gotten into so much trouble together.”

“Well, fortunately, you were a few years before me,” she grinned, stirring the hot tea he’d gotten her.

“You would’ve gotten on with Ominis, at least, if not me.”

She looked up at him briefly.

“In fact, you do, don’t you? He invited you to that dinner party.”

“I thought you’d forgotten.”

“Forget the night we met? Never,” he grinned. “Even if it was under the pretence of a lie.”

She ignored him and kept stirring, but felt him circling her in his own subtle way.

“Why did you lie, by the way?”

“I suppose I didn’t feel I could get your attention unless it was something to do with your… career.”

“Yes, but why?” he insisted. “We’d never met before, at least not that I can recall. And you had nothing to gain from being around me… Did you?”

“No,” she said, “I didn’t. And as evidenced by present circumstances, I in fact had much to lose.”

“Oh, don’t,” he sighed. “Are you still upset?”

“That you took my wand and hold me prisoner? Of course!” she said, frowning up at him.

Sebastian sighed and resisted telling her to keep her voice down. It would have no doubt been an admission of guilt he couldn’t stand for.

“If I give it back to you, would you stay with me?”

“Until death do us part.”

“Yes, I thought as much…”

She sat back and took a sip, even if it was a bit too hot, just to put some distance back between them.

“You’ve very skilfully and I’d say slyly avoided my question, however.”

“Which was?”

“Why did you lie to get close to me?”

“Stupidity.”

He chuckled. “It did work for a while…”

“That was only because your stupidity matched mine.”

“For a while,” said Sebastian cocking a brow.

She couldn’t help but smile a little. He could be funny when he wanted to.

“I can’t tell you why I thought it best to become involved with you through a ploy,” she sighed. “But I can tell you it was not for selfish reasons.”

“Really?” he asked, seeming intrigued. “Well, you’ve never struck me as an angel of kindness…”

“I can simply strike you, if you like.”

“At home,” he grinned.

She kept herself busy by drinking, but even with her eyes cast down she could tell Sebastian had a contemplative look about him.

She couldn’t tell him, of course, that she had been hired by Ominis. It would not only break their agreement and cause the whole thing to fail — not that it had much chance of success anymore — but it was also, she realised, guaranteed to break the bond between the two men forever.

She knew Ominis was quite critical of Sebastian, which the latter noted and tried to ignore. To admit that Mr. Gaunt would go so far as to try to trick him out of pursuing the dark arts might just have broken their friendship for good.

For his part, Sebastian now had his own suspicions. Did he even consider Ominis to be behind it, or perhaps someone else? Any of his usual collaborators would be just as underhanded, although few would have cause to know her. Not that he knew that. She’d made sure that he knew as little about her as possible, and it was only the Clokes who broke her cover.

“When will we go?” she asked.

“Shopping?”

“No, away. Far away, from here.”

“Ah,” Sebastian sighed. “I don’t know… Soon, I suppose. Never know when they might turn up.”

“Afraid even to speak their names?” she chuckled.

“You wouldn’t be laughing if you knew what would follow,” he frowned. “Or perhaps you would… You’d like them to catch me, wouldn’t you?”

She shrugged. “Not particularly.” It would be an abject failure on her part if Sebastian served a life sentence in Azkaban. She wasn’t sure Ominis would ever forgive her. “I just wish to be free again.”

“And you will be.”

“When?”

“When we’re safe…”

“Promises, promises.”

“Between the two of us, I think I’ve been the most —”

“Alright,” she sighed, drinking the last of her tea and getting up. “Let’s go while there’s still fresh fruit to buy.”

Sebastian grumbled something in his typical childish way, but followed.

Their walk back to Feldcroft was slower, encumbered with food and a few bottles of wine, and evening was already falling all around them. The sun set on the horizon, dispelling the clouds. They’d skipped lunch altogether, and yet neither felt hungry. Something within both of them was still wound too tight.

She let him do the cooking in revenge for not giving her wand back, and Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes but made quick work of the meal anyway. It wasn’t what one expected a dark wizard to be skilled at, but long treks in forlorn places forced him to be skilled in all manner of things, and adventurous as he was he still liked his comforts.

He poured over a couple of maps of England and Europe while they finished a bottle of wine before bed, and although she didn’t ask him, she knew he had made a decision by the end. She was almost afraid to ask.

“Will we leave tomorrow?”

“No,” he said. “But perhaps the day after. We must… Yes, we must. Might even be for the best.”

She frowned and didn’t dare ask what he meant by that, but it wouldn’t have made a difference whether he told her or not.

Going to bed was tense. Perhaps even more so than it had been the night before. Somehow, being beneath the covers made Sebastian soft and yearning and he couldn’t keep his hands off her, although he didn’t do anything other than hold her, press her to his side, and rest his cheek over her hair. She felt like a doll moved around by an overgrown insistent child, but soon found herself asleep right beside him.

abedison fic recs (sfw)- no specific order

@swagittariusrising asked and i said why not. Also @abpleboo cause they will probably have even more recs. (CHECK OUT THEIR ART TOO!!!!)

this list is sfw because y'all don't need help finding porn. Maybe when I'm 18.

Always Means Always by MicrosuedeMouse (13,286w)

I say no specific order but this is defintlry #1. 5/5. The best abedison fic I have ever read. Summary: Annie breaks up with Jeff who she has been dating after Greendale and goes to see Abed. Sunny, emotionally vulnerable vibes. Like lying in bed with the sun coming through the blinds. In my top 3 fics of all time list.

For the Record by MicrosuedeMouse (5,162w), Weird by womanaction (1,605w), and I Will Take Good Care of You by gingerteaandsympathy (1,182w)

These three are all about either Troy or Britta noticing small extremely close or plainly romantic moments between Annie and Abed. All are amazing, and great reads when you aren't looking for something particularly plot-heavy.

Scars by thenofutureshoe (13,318w)

I'm not as into this one as the other ones, but it's a sfw troy-leaves staple that isn't very heavy, which I really appreciate.

So Cliché by borchrtslab6 (3,263w)

This one is a bit less strictly sfw, but I'd still categorize it that way. It gives more of a wait-oh-this-is-COLLEGE feel than the others. The Blurb is great this time, but it's a bit long to copy and paste, so I recommend you go read it yourself rather than me trying to explain.

 make me by nereid (1,575w)

Heart-wrenching in a very still way if that makes sense? The only characters in this are the two of them, and it works so well. A peak into two early to mid 20s autistic loners; one trying to trust a new main life partner and the other trying to trust themself.

Introduction to Persuasive Essays by gingerteaandsympathy (2,910w)

So sweet I can practically feel if sticky on my fingers. Summary: Sometimes your friend gives you a love letter in the most autistic way possible, but you think she just wants your advice on how it's written because she forgets to address it to you.

she wants to live in shades of blue (cat eyes, warm jazz, cool attitude) by Yellow_Bird_On_Richland (6,001w)

Sometimes a fic is a hit for a reason, and that's this fic. Lady x Servant Au sort of? (he is technically a duke but it's those nobility hierarchy vibes) Class differences and fighting for Maturity are the main themes, but also fashion.

When the Camera Cuts away by serindipitysays (7,555w)

1/2 of the ship is THE meta character. Of course I had to include a fic like this! It's season 6 focused and only slightly canon-divergent. You can really feel how much Abed cares about Annie in this one

Adjusting for Unanticipated Factors by MicrosuedeMouse

Good enough for me to not cap this list a 10 fics. Sunny Morning vibes again, MENTION OF SEX, dialogue heavy.

Lastly. Check out my stuff! INFJsly. I have 8 fics out and am desperate for commenters

I've already graduated long time ago but I was wondering what is the relationship between schools and religion in your country?

I've heard about a thing in the USA called a Sunday School but I don't know how it works. Where I'm from, Poland, we have a class called ''Religion'' where we are taught Roman Catholic religion, the most prevalent religion in Poland. There would be sometimes lessons about other religions but they usually boiled down to ''Be nice to others and let's all get along.'' We would talk about other religions in history class. Ancient Greece? Greek Gods! Ottoman Empire? Islam. Poland before its Christening? (Yes, Poland ''becomes Christian'' when our ruler, prince Mieszko I, got baptized in 966. And yes ruler of the country doesn't have to be a king. We had few rulers who's never been technically crowned.) Slavic Gods!

What about kids who aren't Christian or who are but whose parents don't want them to be taught religion in school for some reason? They go to ''ethics'' class which boils down to ''Don't kill because it's a sin bad thing.'' etc.

Perfectly serviceable, right?

But even though it's not mandatory there are still people who think religion should not be in school at all. Because in their opinion there's already enough going on in school and religion class just keeps their kids in school an extra hour (In Poland classes are only 45 minutes and breaks are only 5 - 10 minutes long, with one long one, 15 minutes.).

Most people like or at least acknowledge that it's far more convenient that way.

It's not some small village where an entire school would fit in one room. How would the priest ask and grade an entire building's worth of children? (''Religion'' isn't taught by priests, nuns or catechists. (I think that's how you translate it.) We would get grades for reciting the prayers and other stuff, our notebooks and participation during class.)

But it might be because my school is religious even by Polish standards. Our Patreon is John Paul the Second. We have his bust in front of the school, almost every class has a cross and his picture. We have some pictures and drawings (made by previous students) of him in the hallways.

What do you think?

Well! I'm...not an expert on this at all. Or even like a casual thinker on the subject.

I was homeschooled after the third grade, then went to college. So. I'm even less qualified to be talking about this than you thought I was! ^^

But! I'll share my opinion on religion and education, I guess.

School's job in my country is to teach truth that specifically prepares you to be a law-abiding citizen who is also capable of earning a living and making well-informed decisions when electing governmental officials, I think. Thats basically it.

But our schools tend to teach stuff that isn't actually true. Like they'll teach evolutionary theory as if it isn't a theory--they'll teach it as if it's proven fact. Recently they're also teaching other stuff, stuff that is theoretical, instead of factual, as if it IS factual.

But they won't teach religion as if it's proven fact. So it's a super inconsistent standard. And you start to think "well if you're going to teach stuff that is just 'theory,' how are you picking which 'theories' to teach out of all the theories out there? And why do you only act like a few of them are proven fact, but leave others as mere 'theories?'"

And the answer is, educators just pick whichever theories are going to get them the most power in a social setting when their students graduate. So yeah, let's teach evolutionary theory so that all the little kids grow up to think that their opinion is the only God who exists. That way, we can also tell them that they should get to choose what social group they belong to. Once they pick a social group to belong to, we can cater to that social group with our movies and our speeches and our posts. Then they'll think we're "allies" with them, and they'll vote to keep us in power. Because we've managed to make them think they've chosen their own identity, and chosen us as their champions of that identity...when in reality we planned it all for them from the time they entered grade school.

People think schools are teaching their kids to become more independent in my country. Actually the schools are teaching the kids to be dependent—on a system that tells them they're in charge of their own destiny. It's all not true.

and of course there's no place for God in that. Except as an "outdated belief system used to control and oppress people throughout history."

🤷‍♀️ There you go. A nice uncomfortable crawl into the parts of my worldview that nobody wanted to hear, but it's true.

I’m literally cackling thinking about Shino’s reaction to everything that went down. He would have been praying for both Sasuke and Sakura’s downfall since day one, but this is a declaration of war.

Maybe Naruto and Sasuke somehow still had the kiss happen and Shino was just in the background buzzing like an angry eldritch god. Or he saw Sakura hit naruto one time and decided one day she would die vry painfully and be humiliated.

Shino has never liked the Haruno girl or the Uchiha.

Both of them have swatted at the stragglers in his hive more than once (the girl had actually screamed when she did it then called him a plethora of names that had Naruto vibrating with anger next to him) both of them were childish and arrogant at best seeing themselves as so much more than the rest of them regardless of the fact that the race for the top was far closer than either of them were willing to admit.

Worst of all, however is how they treated Naruto.

Most of the class was, if not friendly, then willing to ignore his friend for the most part. There was his odd not-friendship with Kiba that persisted through the years, and the fondness he had of both the Nara and Akimichi, but most of the rest of their class had taken one look at those fangs slick with venom and decided that polite distance was their best option.

Their loss, truthfully. There was never a more devoted friend than Naruto.

(Not that Shino was offering to share. He had been the one to see Naruto’s worth from the beginning.)

But Haruno and Uchiha had never been the same way.

He remembered Iruka-sensei watching him out of the corner of his eye the first time the girl had hit Naruto in annoyance, even as their teacher rushed forward to correct the behavior. The buzzing of the hive filled the classroom. So loud that Iruka-sensei had to raise his voice to be heard over them. Most of their classmates had edged away from him with wary eyes and disgusted expressions. Not Naruto who tucked himself under Shino’s arm and asked loudly with their teacher only feet away if Shino wanted to skip the rest of the day (Iruka-sensei didn’t even try to stop them.)

The less said about the Uchiha the better. It had taken all of Shino’s self control not to lungs at him when Naruto was knocked practically on top of him and their lips met only days after he realized he was head over heels in love with his best friend.

But this?

This?

Naruto sobbing into his chest, gasping out mangled explanations and apologies between each one. The horrible truth of what had happened on Team Seven’s first and only mission out of the safety of the village.

(That the two of them had nearly let Naruto die twice?)

His father met him at his bedroom window that night after he had claimed to go to sleep, hands tucked into his jacket and a single eyebrow raised high enough to be seen over his sunglasses.

“Go back inside, Shino.”

Shino’s hive buzzed loud enough that he almost didn’t hear the order. His fists clenched on the window sill so tightly the wood creaked.

“They hurt him,” Shino spat voice shaking, buzzing in his rage.

His father nodded. “And they are being punished. You can go help him if you are thrown in prison for killing your fellow Shinobi.”

“Technically they aren’t Shinobi anymore.” His father did not look impressed at the distinction.

Shino can’t breathe, poised halfway out his window with his father watching him and the horrors Naruto had confessed to him only Horus before. Can’t think of anything except.

“They hurt him,” He says again, weaker now. Defeated more than enraged.

His father comes closer, climbs up to meet him in the window and pulls him in to a side hug (the first hug Shino can remember from his father in a long time. Physical affection is not their clan’s way.)

“I know,” His father says.

Shino sags against him. Neither of them move until the first light of morning breaks over the horizon.

Scenes from Ord Mantell

I am still going insane if anyone was wondering. I started this today on a whim and played through all of the Trooper prologue to get it right. anyway: behold! sometimes you plop your asshole smuggler into the trooper story and it brings out the daddy issues in him. I've got to cut Nalyan a break but instead I made him bond emotionally with Tavus. oops (technically??? spoilers??? for the very very start of trooper class story?)

“Before you go, Sergeant. A word.”

Nalyan gritted his teeth. He’d been having words with commanding officers as long as he’d had commanding officers to deal with. None of them had said anything new yet, or particularly inspiring.

“Commander,” he said as neutrally as he could.

“You’ve got quite an interesting record,” said Tavus.

“Are you talking about the time I disobeyed orders to save a town full of plague-ridden civilians or the time I punched my commanding officer?”

To Nalyan’s surprise, Tavus smiled.

“I’m talking about the fact that you’re a good shot and a genius at field medicine. You don’t respect anyone who doesn’t earn it, do you?”

Make them earn your respect, his uncle had warned them all once. Hand it out freely, and you end up like us.

“I think that’s pretty standard,” Nalyan said. “We’re in a Republic, right? We vote. Whole point is that we get to decide which leadership is worth our time.”

Tavus actually chuckled at that. So much for getting discharged on Ord Mantell. The guy seemed to actually like Nalyan.

“I can understand reserving judgment,” Tavus said. “But my duty is to my squad first. All right? I don’t intend to let you down.”

My duty is to them, Nalyan’s dad once shouted. I don’t have any fellow soldiers to look out for, but I have these kids.

He was getting really sick of the memory lane. He’d have to avoid talking to Tavus in the future, if this was how he was all the time. The stupid soldier rhetoric was starting to get to Nalyan.

“Thanks, Commander,” Nalyan said. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

-

There were too many people waiting for Nalyan when he got back. He set his jaw, prepared to hear the usual scoldings.

“You spent a lot of time with those civilians,” Needles observed.

“She was dying,” Nalyan said. “He wasn’t looking so hot, either. And that medicine wasn't going to do anything if it wasn't mixed and dosed properly, which you ought to know -”

“It was hardly a concern -”

“Needles,” said Tavus. He jerked his chin toward the rest of the squad. Blank-faced, Needles retreated. Nalyan looked between Tavus and Jorgan, unsure what this meant. Was he still about to get chewed out? The rest of Havoc was obviously watching.

“You lost a lot of time out there,” Jorgan said. Nalyan clenched his fists, hating the way his gloves creaked. Even his anger was starting to remind him of his father.

“They didn’t,” he snapped.

“That bomb –“

“Should never have been made in the first fucking place, and what the hell is the point if we’re not actually protecting civilians?” Nalyan interrupted.

“Do you have any idea how many people will die if the Separatists set it off?” Jorgan hissed. Nalyan shook his head.

“This planet is theirs, Jorgan,” he said. “They’re a bunch of idiots, but they have to live here. The Separatists can't afford to destroy their own families and homes and infrastructure. Maybe, maybe, they come for Fort Garnik. But with the number of refugees? You’d have to get one hell of a loose cannon in charge of that bomb before someone makes that call.”

“They’ve already proven they don’t give a damn about the refugees,” Jorgan said.

“Enough of them see themselves as freedom fighters that there’s no way –“

“Lieutenant Jorgan, give me a minute?” Tavus interrupted. Jorgan growled under his breath. The only thing stopping Nalyan from doing the same was the desire to be as far removed from Jorgan’s cold-hearted banthashit as possible. He barely kept himself from rounding on Tavus by remembering what the commander had said before. The guy understood where Nalyan was coming from. He wouldn’t have brought him on otherwise.

Tavus sighed.

“What brought you to the army, Celi?”

He was never going to get used to hearing his old surname. Nalyan gnawed on his lip, trying to think of a good lie.

“It was… something my sister would believe in,” he said slowly. It wasn’t a lie. “I needed a job. And I know what I’m good at.”

“Well, it’s not taking orders,” Tavus said with a chuckle. Nalyan didn’t laugh. Tavus was slowly earning his respect, but that didn’t mean Nalyan was going to show it easily. Tavus sighed again.

“People are going to get hurt in a war, Celi,” he said. “I’m glad you’re not letting the rules get in the way of what’s right, but you can’t get distracted.”

Well, that was a whole lot of nothing. Nalyan kept his face blank.

“Sure, Commander,” he said. Tavus reached out to squeeze his shoulder. Nalyan felt a flash of irrational anger. The last person to do that had been his dad, and Nalyan had pushed his hand off. Because he could, and because his dad would never punish him for that. Tavus could do anything he wanted, but not because he’d earned it; he was just the bastard in charge.

“I know it’s not right, the Republic always turning its back on the people it’s supposed to stand by,” Tavus said. “But this isn’t how to change it.”

Nalyan didn’t say anything, too distracted by the urge to twist one of Tavus’ fingers until he took his hand away. At last, the commander let him go.

“Is all this just a speech, or are we going after that stronghold?” Nalyan asked.

Something in Tavus’ face seemed to tighten a bit.

“How do you like Havoc?” he asked.

“The squad or the people in it?”

Tavus shrugged.

“Whatever comes to mind.”

“I’m going to be honest,” Nalyan warned him. “Commanding officers usually don’t like that.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” said Tavus. “But not me.”

“Wraith’s too quick to torture or kill. Needles is a disgrace to medicine. Fuse seems nice, but he’s a pushover next to them. The only guy I’d actually trust to take care of civilians is Gearbox.” Nalyan could admit that maybe such a rapid-fire dismissal of the team wasn’t the best idea, even if he wanted Tavus to think he was too much trouble, so he added, “And you. Commander.”

Tavus nodded, looking solemn.

“Havoc will be moving out,” he said. “But you’re observing the op here with Jorgan.”

There it was. Nalyan nearly laughed.

“This isn’t a punishment, Sergeant –“ Tavus said.

“I couldn’t care less, Commander,” Nalyan said. Tavus frowned at him.

“It isn’t,” he said, as though he couldn’t comprehend Nalyan not particularly wanting to get himself killed inside a mountain for somebody else’s war. “If we had more time, the chance to build cohesion and trust between you and the rest of the squad, you’d be first on my list. You’re damn good at what you do and you’ve got a better head on your shoulders than almost any soldier I’ve met.”

Nalyan hadn’t been looking for praise, but it cracked open his chest a little anyway. He swallowed down thoughts of his sister and his father and smiled weakly at Commander Tavus.

“Thank you, sir,” he said. “I understand. I really don’t mind.”

Tavus seemed to search his face for a few more seconds, then he nodded and clapped Nalyan on the back.

“Maybe another time,” he said. “You’d be a good addition to the team.”

Before Nalyan could muster a response, he’d turned to the rest of Havoc and shouted for them to move out. Bewildered, Nalyan sat beside Jorgan.

“I have to admit I’m a little surprised,” Jorgan said quietly as he opened the comm channel to Havoc Squad. “Not that I’ve been too impressed with your attitude, but Tavus seemed to like you.”

“Thanks,” Nalyan said. “You’re warming my heart.”

The noise Jorgan made was almost, almost a laugh.

Nalyan tuned out what little chatter they got as Havoc headed for the stronghold, only checking back in when Tavus reported that they’d breached the perimeter. He was leaning back, head sprawled awkwardly over the back of his chair, when the technician made a noise of alarm.

“Sir! I’ve lost contact with Havoc Squad – with everything!”

Nalyan bolted upright, his throat dry. Jorgan barked orders at the tech, poorly concealing the frantic edge to his tone. Nalyan got to his feet, thinking it all over.

“I should go after them,” he said.

“It’d break Tavus’ orders,” Jorgan said. Before Nalyan could snap out anything rude about orders, he added, “But if it comes to that –“

“I can’t get them back. I think we lost them for good, sir,” reported the tech.

“All right, people, I’m not letting this mission fail! Lucky for us, we still have one Havoc trooper left.” Jorgan looked at Nalyan levelly, and for once there was no contempt in his eyes – for once Nalyan had his respect. Nalyan set his jaw and nodded, not about to waste this on a glib comment.

“You’re going in there, Sergeant,” Jorgan said. “The ZR-57 must not fall into Separatist hands.”

Tavus’ laugh was still fresh in Nalyan’s mind, and the way he’d reached out to Nalyan just like his father always had. That bit about earning respect.

“What about the squad?” Nalyan said. “We can’t leave them. If they’re in trouble –“

“The ZR-57 has to be the priority,” Jorgan said. “When it’s taken care of, we’ll see what we can do for Tavus and the others.”

Nalyan wanted to argue, but he knew how this went. He’d faced these choices before. And Jorgan wasn’t wrong – that bomb, in the hands of people who’d use it, meant a lot more lost lives than one missing squad.

“Sir,” he said, the word tasting foul in his mouth. “What’s the plan?”

-

“I hate to say it, Jorgan, but I think you told me so,” Nalyan said in an undertone as he crept past the latest patrol. “I’m seeing Imperial armour, and they would blow up Ord Mantell.”

“Glad you see it my way,” Jorgan muttered, though he didn’t sound nearly as grateful as Nalyan thought somebody should upon hearing one of his rare apologies. “Focus.”

“Do you think I’m not?” There would be no sneaking past these Separatists. Nalyan sighed and lifted his rifle. A couple dead freedom fighters later, he was stepping over bodies and onto a lift.

“What I want to know is who sets up a base in a volcano? Wouldn’t the heat fuck up all their tech?”

“Cut the chatter.”

Nalyan rolled his eyes.

“I’m killing people out here, Jorgan, I don’t think complaining about lava is the most unsubtle thing I’ve done today.”

Jorgan didn’t reply.

“Of course, if you just don’t want to hear my voice, you could say so. Can’t imagine why. I’m a delight.”

That was definitely a growl. Nalyan grinned to himself. Jorgan certainly wasn’t Shiny, but he was predictable just like her. He’d be glad to get out of the Lieutenant’s hair, but he would regret never getting to see his sister and Jorgan meet. That would be funny.

Taking down the Separatists guarding the controls he needed was too easy. Nalyan kept his mind fixed on new ways to annoy Jorgan, just so he wouldn’t consider the dead Separatists too hard. Imperials were one thing, and he certainly didn’t appreciate that the locals he’d been trying to defend had sold out to the Sith, but he’d been a freedom fighter. He’d been a terrorist, technically. He knew what would drive a person to violent revolution.

At least he could rest easy knowing that deactivating that bomb was unequivocally good, and that no one would be able to use it again. He pulled his comm out.

“There’s definitely Imperials here,” Nalyan said as soon as Jorgan picked up the holocall. Jorgan looked unimpressed, and Nalyan realised belatedly that he’d been about to say something.

“I was going to congratulate you on your work,” Jorgan said. “We saw the Imps. We need to know how deep the connection goes. Finding your squad is priority one now. If they’ve been captured, they may be able to tell us more.”

“Finally, a reasonable priority!” Nalyan said. Jorgan growled at him.

“Don’t push your luck, Sergeant,” he said. Something almost like concern crossed his face. “You’re going to need all the luck you have.”

“With these skills?” Nalyan said. “Yeah, probably.” He ended the call and cracked his neck, ignoring the little voice in his head that sounded like his dad telling him not to. He’d done a hell of a lot worse, and he would do even more before the day was out.

Time to rescue Tavus.

-

The depths of the fort were almost entirely Imperial, no more Separatists to be found. Nalyan had pretty much given up on his sympathy for the local rebels, if this was the kind of person they threw their lot in with. The answer to bad governance was not worse governance, that was for sure. At last, he found what seemed to be the heart of the operation, though not in any way he wanted.

A hangar had been carved into the back of the mountain, and it was this that Nalyan walked into. A large ship emblazoned with Imperial markings sat, obviously awaiting the payload Nalyan had just rendered unusable. A group of armoured people stood there, talking, and Nalyan’s blood ran cold as he realised he recognised the armour. Mostly white, with gold symbols denoting squad and rank, Havoc’s armour was unmistakeable.

“Commander Tavus,” he said. He should have just shot, but there was a distant possibility it was a ploy. That was the kind of game his family had to play all the time, pretending to be passing information to the Imps or hiding amongst real Stormtroopers. There was still a chance.

“My orders were clear, Sergeant,” Tavus said. “You were to remain at the base.”

“Tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” Nalyan said, raising his rifle. Wraith and Needles both lifted their own weapons, aiming at his head and heart, and he slowly lowered his blaster. Clearly, his hopes were about to be dashed.

“No, Wraith,” said Tavus. “The sergeant deserves an explanation.”

“You’re damn right,” Nalyan snarled.

“Celi, I hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” Tavus said. Nalyan couldn’t hold back his flinch. “You’re a good warrior. I’m just afraid the Republic no longer values her warriors.”

“I know a lot about that,” Nalyan said through gritted teeth. “But you’re a damn idiot if you think the fucking Sith will treat you any better. Going off to play nice with tyrants? With the people who order massacres? I don’t care about being a warrior and I never have, and the warriors –“ He sneered the word. “That I know would have died before throwing their lot in with the people you’re working for now.”

“I thought you would understand,” Tavus said. “If we’d had more time together, you would see. You were already so close –“

“Close?”

The only thing that kept Nalyan from shooting Tavus then and there was the fact that Wraith and Needles both had clear shots on him. He'd put his life at risk for a lot of things in his time, but he didn’t want to die before he got his sister back.

“I’m the worst damn soldier you’ve ever met and I’m proud of it,” Nalyan said, voice shaking more than he’d ever admit. “But I am never going to be a traitor.”

Tavus frowned coldly. His expression was so much like the disappointed look Nalyan’s father used to give him that Nalyan wanted to hurl.

“It’s a shame,” he said. He called to the Imperial officer nearby as he stepped backward, boarding the shuttle just as the engines whirred to life. Wraith and Needles joined him.

“Kill him,” Tavus ordered. Nalyan sprang for cover as the wind from the shuttle picked up. He made short work of the three Imperials left behind, but it was nothing to be proud of. He’d lost the traitors, he’d lost the massive hunk of radioactive material that they could probably reactivate given time and effort, and worst of all – he’d been exactly the kind of man Tavus thought would be on his side.