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#like. I'm sorry but there's more important things here
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'tis the damn season
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Genre: exes baggage; pseudo-relationship
Pairing: SEVENTEEN Kim Mingyu x Reader
Warnings: mature themes, explicit sexual content
Notes: 23k words - I got carried away, song prompt was 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift.
Synopsis: Taking your boyfriend—with whom you recently broke up with—to your family home for the holidays and pretend you're still happily in love? Doesn't sound like the best idea but what could go wrong?
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The weather forecast sure wasn't lying when it said this winter would be the coldest in the last decade. As soon as you step outside, the chill has cut through your layers of clothing. It's a cold that feels even more piercing than the void in your soul right now.
The last few days, you've been trying to convince yourself that the chill you're feeling is just the season, nothing more. You were just being in denial, of course. As you walk to meet your sister in a cafe near your apartment, you can't help but think back to warmer times. Days when the sun seemed to shine a little brighter, when laughter was easy, and the world felt kinder to you and your heart. It's clear now that the warmth you miss isn't just from the absence of the sun. It's the absence of something, someone, who made everything feel less cold, less harsh.
“Blair!” you called out when you spotted your sister outside the cafe, her bundles of clothing unable to hide the massive baby bump. She looked warm and pretty, waving happily at you when she saw you.
“Hi!” she greeted pitchily when you approached her.
“Did you wait too long? Where’s your husband?”
“Oh, he went to get the gifts wrapped up,” she said, ushering you into the building.
“Their hot chocolate here is really good. You should try it.”
“Really? Good because I’m craving some chocolate right now.”
You found a table, ordered food, and started talking about the Christmas party in your family home this year. She laid down the plans and the segments which are the same as every year but you just had to talk about it. The discussion was going well until your sister reminded you of something important that totally slipped your mind. 
“Mingyu's coming too right?”
“I’m sorry, what?” you asked stupidly, blinking rapidly at her.
“Mingyu. Duh,” she scoffed, chuckling. 
Of course, Mingyu. “I'm not sure he can make it this year.”
Your sister's face contorted into a frown upon hearing that. She asked, “Why? What's wrong? Did you two break up?”
Yes, you did. But hearing the worry in her voice made you swallow the words. "He probably has other plans. I don't know, he might go home for the holidays this year."
She visibly relaxed, patting her chest and sighing. “Good lord, I thought you two broke up. That’s okay. He should spend time with his family if he can. I just asked because he’s been spending Christmas with us ever since you got together.”
Right, he has. Ever since you started dating, Mingyu has spent every Christmas with your family. The first time he did, it was because you found out his family lived abroad so you invited him over. He quickly got close with your family and soon became a regular presence during holidays and important family functions. Including last year, Mingyu has spent three Christmases in your family home. This year would have been his fourth if you didn't break up.
It hasn't been that long; only three weeks have passed since. You kept count because a four-year relationship is obviously not something you forget overnight. Not to mention the regrets you have about the breakup that would often leave you to wonder if it was the right thing to do.
"The kids will miss him, for sure," your sister commented to which you only replied with a hum of agreement. She didn't bring him up again and continued relaying the holiday plans to you. When it was all over and she'd had her third cup of hot chocolate, you walked out of the cafe with your sister promising to drive you back to your apartment.
The universe probably has it out for you though, because as soon as you step out of the cafe, the first person you bumped into was Mingyu.
"Mingyu!" your sister exclaimed, gasping behind the scarf that was covering half her face. "Good to see you. How are you?"
Mingyu looked surprised but he was quick to give your sister a hug. "I've been well. How are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Still alive and very pregnant."
"So, I see," Mingyu smiled sweetly, eyeing your sister's growing bump. "He should be coming out this month, right?"
"He is," your sister chimed. "Hopefully before or after the Christmas weekend, but, I'll leave it up to him to decide."
A smile crept up on your lips, touched by the fact that he remembered that bit. As the two of them had a quick catching up, you stood there awkwardly, looking around and refusing to meet Mingyu's gaze.
"Will you be joining us for Christmas this year?" your sister asked, making you glance at Mingyu at once. He was looking at you too, confusion written over his face. "She said you're going home to your family. That's good, but if you change your mind about it, you're welcome to the chateau, okay?"
"Uh," Mingyu chuckled awkwardly, tilting his head. "Yeah, I will. I mean... I might. I'll let you know."
"Good," your sister beamed just as her husband was pulling over at the side of the road. She turned to you. "Since Mingyu's here, I guess I won't have to drive you back anymore?" she said, nodding at you.
You grabbed her hands and gave her a pleading look. "But you promised!"
"I did, but your boyfriend's here now so I don't have to," she scoffed. To Mingyu, she said, "See you around, Gyu."
"Yes. See you around. Take care," Mingyu replied, waving at your sister as she got into the car.
The two of you stood there in silence, watching them drive away and disappear into the sea of cars on the road. You sighed when you couldn't see their car anymore, turning on your heel to walk away. Mingyu's voice called for you, making you stop to look at him.
He seemed hesitant at first, but he still spoke. "You haven't told them yet?"
"No," you replied, shaking your head. "I was going to, the timing was just off when the topic came up a while ago. Don't worry though, I'll sort this out."
"It's fine. No big deal," he said, nodding.
You evened your breathing, nodding at him. "Okay," you replied before turning to walk away.
The air was cold against your cheeks and your mouth was bitter from the cold exchange you just had with Mingyu. It was brief and hurried like neither of you wanted it. It was fleeting, almost as if it never happened at all. Now here you are, freezing and broken, wanting so bad to whine about the encounter but you can’t because that would be pathetic and completely out of line. In fact, you’re the last person who should complain about Mingyu being cold and distant. It was you who decided to break up with him in the first place.
“Y/N, wait!” came Mingyu’s voice, huffing as he ran after you down the sidewalk. You halted, your heart suddenly beating wildly, replacing your frustration with anxiousness. He stopped just a few feet from you. “Let me drive you home.”
What home? “I’m fine. It’s not that far.”
“Please, I insist,” he replied, reaching for you but not touching you. “You look cold.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, along with the voice in your head telling you not to get into his car. "If you don't mind, then... okay."
With a heavy step and your mind screaming about how stupid you are, you towed behind Mingyu all the way to where his car was parked by the sidewalk.
The ride was quiet; not that you were expecting any conversation. What would you talk about anyway? It shouldn’t feel weird since you haven’t spoken to him in weeks. But then again, it did feel weird to be together and not utter a word to each other. You used to have a lot to talk about; random topics, important stuff, petty fighting, and whatever it was that crossed your minds. Now you haven’t heard from him for three weeks until today. Funny how someone can be a huge part of your life today and become a stranger the next day. The chill on your hands and cheeks was gone but the cold in your heart was enough to make your soul shiver.
Mingyu took a deep breath as he pulled over at the side of the road right in front of your apartment complex. The car came to a stop but you sat there frozen in place, unable to open the door on your side or say anything to thank him for the ride. Mingyu can probably feel your discomfort and it felt awkward knowing that.
“For what it’s worth,” he began, breaking the ice. “I haven’t told anyone either.”
You cautiously glanced his way, smiling timidly when you saw that he was looking at you. His expression was difficult to discern. There was a smile on his lips but it didn’t reach his eyes.
You looked away and chuckled awkwardly. “I guess it’s not something that just randomly comes up in conversations, is it?”
“You’re right, it isn’t,” he agreed, nodding.
You were both quiet after that, unsure of what to say next. You’re thinking about getting off but it doesn’t feel right to leave just yet. It was as if something in the atmosphere was telling you the conversation was not over yet. Was it the atmosphere or was it your delusional brain fooling you into thinking there's something there when the truth is there isn't?
“You know, if you want…” he started again. You can tell he was hesitating because he wouldn’t even look at you. “I can go to the chateau with you.”
“The chateau?” you repeated, genuinely surprised. “With me? You mean for Christmas?”
“Yeah."
“Are you serious?” you asked incredulously, genuinely amazed at the sudden turn of events.
“Is that a ‘no’?” he probed. He seemed serious about his offer but you weren’t sure how to react to it. “I was thinking we could just go there for old times’ sake. I don’t have anything planned for Christmas anyway, and I would love to see them again one last time.”
One last time? This really is the end for you, isn’t it? “Wouldn’t it be weird?”
Mingyu chuckled sheepishly, scratching his nape. “Yeah, I guess it would. Sorry. Was it too much? Did I overstep?”
You shook your head in response but in your mind, you do agree that it was out of bounds. What kind of ex was he to ask if he could spend Christmas with your family after you two have broken up? And what kind of woman would you be if you said it was alright and he could come? Sure, he’s close to your family and has built a good relationship with them. Even so, it’s still awkward to have him come over for the holidays knowing the relationship you two had-- which was the reason he met your family in the first place, has come to an end.
“We broke up, Gyu. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” you replied and you meant it. Everyone in your family adored Mingyu, especially your parents. Now that you think about it, if they find out that you’ve broken up, it would break their hearts too. “I haven’t told them yet and it would upset them. Especially mom.”
Mingyu appeared to think for a moment, then his face contorted with hesitation. It baffled you how much you knew him; his cues, his expressions, and even his mannerisms. You knew exactly what they signified and how to respond to them. Right now, you know he has an idea that you may or may not like.
“What if…” he began, glancing at you tentatively. “What if we don’t tell them yet?”
“What?”
“What if we don’t tell them that we broke up? Telling them now would probably ruin the festive mood. Let’s just let the holidays pass. We could do that and spend Christmas together this year.”
Together... you pondered but you steeled your resolve. It was tempting, and you could shout to the world how much you miss him right now, but you wouldn't take your chances on something so risky.
“You’re not serious,” you deadpanned, imagining a whole lot of scenarios where his plan backfires terribly. It would be easier to just get back together than to pretend you’re still together in front of your whole family. “It’s stupid and they’ll see right through it.”
“So, you’re up for it as long as they don’t figure it out?” he grinned mischievously. God, you hate it when he makes that face. He does that when he knows he’s up to no good and he’s trying to rope you into it. But dear God, don’t you love it too; the fun that follows after he finally convinces you, the euphoria of being involved in some misconduct, and the thrill of doing something you never thought you would ever do.
“No.” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking away from him. “I get that you loved hanging out with them, but it’s risky and unnecessary. Besides, you don’t really have to be there. I already told my sister you’ll be spending Christmas with your family.”
“Alright, I'm sorry. Let’s not do it,” he gave up, raising his hands. “It was worth a shot though.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a no.” You forced a smile as you reached for the door and got ready to leave. “Thanks for the ride.”
“You’re welcome. Stay warm,” he replied with a small wave. You smiled again just as you were closing the door. Then you watched him drive away, sighing as soon as he was far enough.
"Stay warm? What is he a weatherman?" you muttered, shaking your head.
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You were right; the universe has it out for you. After that one unexpected encounter with Mingyu, you started seeing him everywhere—in the grocery store, at your favorite café, even just walking down the street. For such a big city, it seemed absurd how often you bumped into him lately, especially since you hadn't seen him once since the breakup. At first, you exchanged quick, polite greetings, but soon these random meetings became so frequent that even looking at each other felt awkward. That’s the tricky part about an amicable breakup: there’s no real reason to ignore each other. It would have been easier if he had been a jerk, or if you had done something unforgivable, but there was not enough reason to act like strangers.
“Hello, stranger. Good morning,” Mingyu greeted you as he saw you at the café counter. The sound of his voice made your heart skip a beat, but you forced yourself to roll your eyes at his goofy grin.
“Good morning to you too,” you replied, nodding in acknowledgment. Mingyu didn’t say anything else and quietly waited his turn.
He stood behind you in the queue, out of sight, but you could easily imagine him with his hands shoved into his coat pockets. Or maybe he was scrolling through his phone. Perhaps he was staring at the menu. Whatever he was doing, you hoped he wasn’t looking at you—observing the back of your neck, checking you out, or anything like that.
“Thank you,” you told the barista as she handed you the buzzer after you paid for your coffee. When you turned on your heel, you caught a glance of Mingyu who smiled at you when your eyes met. As you walked away, you heard him tell the barista his order.
Your feet hurriedly carried you to a four-seater table. Originally, you weren’t planning to linger in the café and ordered a takeout, but curiosity got the best of you after hearing Mingyu order for two people. Who was he having coffee with this early? Your eyes scanned the occupied tables, searching for any hint of Mingyu’s company. Anxiety began to build up in your chest as you considered the possibility that he might be here with another girl.
It could be anyone, you reassured yourself. Mingyu, being the social butterfly that he is, has friends everywhere. Throughout your relationship, you had lost count of the times you met Mingyu’s acquaintances. Most of these meetings happened in the streets or the hallways of the university, where he would bump into someone he knew and have quick small talks—not forgetting to introduce you as his girlfriend to those you were meeting for the first time. But still, in your opinion, it was a little too early to be meeting a friend for coffee.
As expected, Mingyu had a quick chat with the barista before leaving the counter. Hoping he wouldn’t notice you watching him, you feigned interest in your phone as he strolled across the room. The table he sat at wasl vacant, leading you to presume that the person he’s meeting hasn’t arrived yet. But barely a minute later, the chime of the door opening echoed through the café. The way Mingyu’s face lit up with a smile at the sight of the newcomer made you scowl. Glancing over your shoulder toward the entrance, you saw a woman walking in.
You held your breath, observing the tall, alluring figure approach your ex-boyfriend. Mingyu greeted her with a hug that lingered longer than you would have preferred. Recognizing the jealousy bubbling up inside you, you scoffed incredulously, shaking your head and tearing your gaze away from them. So what if he’s meeting a woman? What does it matter to you? So what if there’s a chance they’re involved romantically? It’s none of your business! He’s free to do whatever he wants!
“Isn’t it a little too soon to start seeing someone new, though?“ you muttered, a scowl knitting your brows together.
The buzzer startled you, prompting a sharp exhale as you rose to fetch your order. But when the barista called out your name in a voice louder than necessary, a flush of embarrassment tinged your cheeks. Mingyu must have heard that you were still around.
But really, why feel embarrassed? This is a public space, and you have every right to be here. Now that you think about it, you may be way in over your head to think your presence there is affecting him at all. You chided yourself internally for overthinking.
“Thanks,“ you said to the barista, sliding the buzzer back across the counter. “But seriously, what's the point of the buzzer if you're going to call out names anyway?“
The barista grinned sheepishly. “Honestly, I've wondered the same thing myself.“
If you want to know who Mingyu was hanging out with or if he's already moved on, you could simply ask. Not Mingyu, of course. Maybe inquire with mutual friends or someone close to him. Granted, easier said than done, but definitely less humiliating than the slightly awkward and borderline stalker-ish behavior you're exhibiting now.
Your phone started ringing as soon as you stepped out of the cafe. It was your father calling so you punched the answer button and pressed the device on your ear. “Hi Dad, what’s up?”
“Hi, sweetheart. Is Mingyu there?” was the first thing he said.
You glanced back inside the cafe where you could see Mingyu happily chatting with his ‘date’. “No. Why?”
“Mommy wants to know if he’s coming this weekend. Your sister was here a while ago and told us she met Mingyu last week. Your mom’s making final arrangements for the weekend so she wants the RSVP. You know how it goes.”
“Yeah, I know,” you exhaled, your eyes twitching at the sight of the girl’s hand around Mingyu’s arm. They have left their table and are now making their way out of the cafe with all smiles.
“Right, you do. Let us know once he made up his mind, alright? Or call your mom, whatever works for you.” your dad said.
You turned in the direction of your apartment before Mingyu could see you loitering outside the cafe. “I should just call her. I gotta tell her as soon as possible anyway,” you replied as you trekked back to your apartment.
“Good. It shouldn’t be so hard to ask him. I mean,” your father chuckled. “He’s been a regular presence in our home for three Christmases. At this point, he’s basically family.”
If they only knew the truth, they would never even mention his name around you. “Right. I gotta go, Dad. I’ll call mom later.”
“Alright, Bean. Love you.”
“Love you too, Dad,” you replied, briskly hanging up and tucking your phone back into your purse. You have made up your mind, so you turned on your heel and walked back to the cafe. Mingyu was standing by the sidewalk, waving a hand at the girl who he had just sent away in a taxi. The voices in your head were screeching and cursing at you for an impulsive decision that you were actively trying to execute. But there was no turning back.
“Kim Mingyu,” you blurted as soon as you reached your ex. Mingyu, who was just about to press his phone to his ear, turned to you in surprise. “Christmas at the chateau. Is it still on the table?”
Confusion flickered on his face. “Mom, let me call you back. I need a sec. Yeah, it’s her… I will. Bye, mom. Talk later.”
You took a deep breath, watching him put his phone away and walk closer to you. He then said, “It depends on you, y/n. Just say the word.”
You exhaled sharply, blowing steam from the warmth of your mouth. “Come with me, then. Spend Christmas with me–us. The family… My uh, family wants you there.”
Mingyu shrugged, lips lifting into a boyish smile. “What about you? Do you want me there?”
“Absolutely!” you replied so quickly, it was embarrassing. “Everyone would be delighted to see you so… That makes me want you to be there.”
There’s no way he didn’t notice how defensive you were. Mingyu’s grin didn’t falter, nodding cheekily as he said, “Okay then. If you insist.”
You couldn’t help the smile that tore through your lips, both annoyed and shy because you knew he was teasing you on purpose. “Stop that.”
“What?” he grinned. “You want me there. I guess I’ll be there then.”
“Shut up,” you gloated, shaking your head despite being unable to erase your smile. You started walking back to your apartment while Mingyu followed behind you. “Go away!”
He chuckled heartily, reaching for your elbow. “Come, y/n. I’ll take you home.”
“Fine,” you grumbled, letting him drag you back. Your heart has stopped raging and you are feeling much calmer now. “I have rules.”
“Okay.”
“And I have a condition.”
“Sure, sure. Let’s hear it in the car.”
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“What could go wrong?” you questioned, looking at your friend Daphne through the reflection in the mirror.
Daphne stared back at you with a dumbfounded expression, as if she had just heard the most ridiculous thing ever. “Those four words are harmless on their own. But if you put them together, you get the most dangerous sentence in the history of humanity.”
You scoffed, shaking your head as you turned to face her. “You’re so dramatic.”
“And you’re an idiot.”
“Thank you very much,” you quipped, then stood with your back facing her. “Now, would you please help me out of this dress? I don’t like it.”
“Me neither,” Daphne agreed before unzipping the dress at once.
“How about that one?” You pointed at a nice maroon cashmere dress. 
Daphne looked over it and nodded. “It’s cute. Try it on.”
You hurried back into the fitting room with the dress. It’s the morning before you leave for the chateau and you invited Daphne for a last-minute shopping. You wanted a dress for the Christmas dinner and you initially thought you’d find a decent one in your closet but there wasn’t any. That was not to say you didn’t have any nice dress–in fact, you had plenty. You just didn’t want to wear them for the occasion. It was as if everything in your closet was suddenly tacky, plain, or unattractive. You wanted new ones.
“You look amazing,” Daphne said as soon as you stepped out, although she had a deadpan expression.
“Thank you. I like it too.”
“Be honest. Are you shopping because you wanted to look cute for Mingyu?”
You laughed awkwardly. “No, I’m not.”
Daphne narrowed her eyes at you. “I can see right through you.”
You knew that but you were still adamant about denying it. “I don’t dress to impress, Daph. Especially not for a man.”
“You don’t, but this is Mingyu we're talking about so…” she retorted, raising an eyebrow at you.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say. This dress is not for him,” you insisted, examining yourself in the mirror.
“It’s okay, girl. You can be honest with me.”
“I can?” you lilted, taking the bait Daphne threw to catch you.
“See, I knew it!” she snickered, rolling her eyes. “You want to impress your ex.”
You just pouted, not responding to her at all and just looking through your dress selections for more options. So what if you want to impress Mingyu? You’re not trying to get back with him. You just didn’t want him to think you were any less pretty after the breakup.
“y/n, I told you. Bringing him to the chateau is a bad idea.”
“It’s just one weekend,” you murmured, embarrassed but determined not to back out.
Daphne stood from the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. “One weekend where your heart and dignity is on the line. I don’t think it’s worth it.”
Daphne was right and you know it. But you had made up your mind–you are going to the chateau with Mingyu. You’ve made the preparations and told your parents he was coming. You’ve talked to Mingyu and put up clear boundaries. Plus you are driving up there in four hours. You can’t just back out at the last minute!
You can, you just didn’t have the intention to do so. Although it shamed you to admit it, a part of you wanted this. For old-time’s sake.
“I know you mean well but,” you paused, faced your friend, and sighed, “I’m sorry, Daph.”
Daphne sighed, shaking her head sternly as he approached you to tenderly squeeze your shoulders. “I guess I can’t change your mind, then?”
You responded by shaking your head, and Daphne pulled you into a hug.
“Just don’t go breaking your heart. It hasn’t even healed yet.”
“I’ll try my best.”
Your friend grumbled as she pulled away. Pouting, she pointed at the dress with a deep olive green shade. “Get this one too. Green looks majestic on you. And hurry. This place is getting too crowded.”
Grinning, you heeded her suggestion and grabbed said dress before disappearing into the fitting room once again. After shopping, you sat down for brunch with your friend and spent the morning chatting away. By the time you arrived back at your apartment, it was half past noon and you only had a couple minutes left before Mingyu would come to pick you up. You stuffed your new clothes in your luggage, inspected your boxes of presents for your family, and did your routine inspection of your flat to make sure everything was clean and tidy before you left.
Your doorbell rang right on time, signaling the arrival of Kim Mingyu. Part of you wanted to roll your eyes and say he can just come in like he used to. It’s not like you changed your passcode or anything. But then again, Mingyu is a gentleman. Even if he could, he wouldn’t just waltz in like he owns the place.
“Hi,” he beamed as soon as you pushed your door open. “You ready to go?”
“Yes, I just need help with these,” you replied, motioning to the huge bag of presents in your hands. Mingyu was quick to take it out of your hands, and then hold the door open for you while you went back in to take your luggage out. He even took that one out of your hand too.
“Is this all your stuff?” he asked as you closed your apartment door.
You nodded in response and so you both boarded the elevator. At the parking lot, his car was right outside the exit, waiting for the two of you. As soon as everything was loaded, he opened the car door for you with no hesitation. Dumbfounded, you quietly slipped through the door and sat on the shotgun. Mingyu then rounded the car to get inside the driver’s seat.
“Ready?” he asked, beaming. You looked away from him, pretending to be busy with the seatbelt as you responded to his question with a quiet nod.
The first few minutes of the car ride were spent with Mingyu talking to his mother on the phone. It was a pure and adorable conversation about the weather, meals, and their plans for the weekend. Mingyu’s mom was a kind woman who spoke in a stern but gentle manner. You don’t have that many memories with her mom, except for the time two years ago when Mingyu took you on a trip to his hometown. At the time, and in the few occasions that you did talk to her, she has shown nothing but adoration for you.
“Mmhmm, don’t worry. I will take good care of myself, Mom,” he said affectionately after his mom reminded him to keep himself warm and never get sick.
“But wait, if you’re on your way to their house, does that mean y/n is with you?” she asked from the other line. Your eyes widened at his phone that was hanging on the dashboard holder. Then you glanced at Mingyu who just scrunched his nose cutely at you. 
“Yes, she’s here. Say, ‘hi’.”
His mother started laughing heartily before saying, “Hi, dear. How are you?”
“Hello, Moth…er…” your speech trailed off, awkwardly glancing at Mingyu.
He just chuckled and gave you an encouraging nod before mouthing, “It’s okay.”
“Um… I’ve been well–” you stammered, clearing your throat before finishing, “–mother.”
“You’ve been well? Great. That’s great,” she chimed, her voice sweet and endearing. “I haven’t heard from you for a while. I thought you finally got sick of my son and left him for good.”
A hiccup escaped your throat, caught off-guard by her sudden comment. Mingyu on the other hand, started whining and said, “Mom! Why would you even say that?”
“Why not? She has every reason to dump you,” she replied. Mingyu grabbed the phone from the holder and tapped the loudspeaker button so he could talk to his mother in private.
“I’ll call you later. Stop worrying about me and take care of yourself, alright? Good. Let’s talk soon. Okay. Bye, love you!” He then tossed the device into a compartment and mumbled under his breath. You might not speak his language, but you knew he just cursed in his mother tongue.
“Sorry about her,” he said awkwardly. “You see, I haven’t told them either.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“She asks about you all the time, you know,” he added, eyes fixed on the road. “Even after we broke up.”
“What do you tell her?” you probed, genuinely curious. If she did ask about you all the time, how come he couldn’t tell her about the breakup?
“Nothing much. Just that you’re fine and doing stuff,” he said, to which you hummed in response and then turned your gaze to the road.
“Are you?” he questioned, making you look at him. He glanced at you briefly. “Are you fine and doing stuff?”
“Who, me?” you chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I’m fine and doing stuff.”
“Really? What have you been up to these days?”
“Oh, you know. Small gigs for family or friends. Nothing official or permanent yet. I’m still on a break.”
You and Mingyu met in college as sophomores. He took up accounting, while you were an art student majoring in interior design. After college, he applied for jobs in major firms and got accepted immediately. Then for the next six months, he worked as an assistant for an executive–which served as his training before he signed a full contract. You, on the other hand, didn’t have to worry about getting a job and securing a good salary. So you took your time, not making big decisions and enjoying your free time.
“So you’re freelancing?” Mingyu asked.
“I wouldn’t consider it freelancing since I’m not really available for hire any time. I just picked up some small projects for Allan’s house. The other is for Daphne’s department store. And I decorated for Sue as well. Remember her?”
“Yeah, I remember Sue. She was your new neighbor before I…” he stopped to clear his throat and finished, “Before I moved out.”
The sudden change of subject made your stomach turn. Looking back, you and Mingyu started living together in your fourth year of college. As spacious as it was, before he moved in, you had never eaten or cooked there. It was tidy, not because you purposely kept it clean, but because barely anyone stayed there who would make any mess– not even you who spent most of your time outside and only came home to sleep and bathe. Mingyu made it homely and warm.
At one point in your relationship, you told him you could never live there without him anymore. You could not imagine waking up without him on the bed, eating there without the food he made himself, or sitting in the living room without him to snuggle with. You told him that once and although he laughed about it, he also promised he would never leave you there alone. 
Long story short, he lied. Sure, you were the one who broke things off, but he was the one who left. That was the part that hurt most— the fact that he just agreed to break up without putting up a fight. You can only hope the best for him, you knew he was hoping the same for you anyway.
Attempting to dissolve the awkwardness, you decided to ask him about his job. “How was your job at the firm?”
“Oh, it’s great. I got regularized about two weeks ago,” he replied, looking pleased.
You knew that, one of your friends told you about it when it happened. “That’s amazing. I knew you would get the job.”
“Thanks. That’s immensely reassuring.”
You agree that it was such a reassuring thing to say, and you also regret not saying it when you were still together— when he needed to hear it the most.
“Good to know. You’ve always been easy to reassure,” you said as a passing comment. “I wish Blair was like that. I mean, honestly, how can she ask me to reassure her all the damn time but still remain pessimistic about everything?”
Mingyu chuckled heartily. “I guess the pregnancy is making her anxious, huh?”
You shook your head. “Not the pregnancy itself. It’s giving birth that she’s so scared of. Now that her due is near, everyone has been trying to give her pep talks.”
“It must be nerve-wracking.”
“I can’t say I know how it feels,” you chuckled derisively. “You wanna know what she’s naming the baby?”
“She picked one already?” he asked, glancing at you with an amazed smile.
“It’s Alfred.”
“Alfred?” Mingyu frowned, dismayed. The face he made was funny to you because you had the same negative reaction when you first heard it. 
“Yes. Alfred,” you snickered. "Tacky, isn't it?"
“No. I think it’s um…” He tilted his head a little. “It’s okay. Cool name. Alfred. Has a nice classy ring to it.”
You rolled your eyes, knowing he was just trying to patronize your sister. “She’s hell-bent on following our parents’ legacy by naming her children chronologically. We barely talked her out of naming the child Allan after my older brother.”
Mingyu hummed. “So if she had it her way, there would have been a ‘y/n Jr.’ in a couple of years.”
You giggled, leaning your head on the backrest as you started feeling drowsy. “I know, right? That would have been nice, and kinda weird too if you think about it.”
“So I almost became a godfather to an Allan Jr.?” he asked, bewildered. “Now that you mentioned it, it does sound a little strange for an Allan Jr. to exist as someone else’s child, not Allan’s himself.”
“Do you still want to be Alfred’s godfather?” you asked, remembering that Blair had requested Mingyu to be her son’s godfather when she first found out that she was pregnant. “I mean, would you still be up for it after we tell everyone that we’ve broken up?”
You saw Mingyu shrug. “As long as you’re okay with it.”
That was such a play-safe answer, and also a ridiculous one especially since it was between him and Blair as friends; you had nothing to do with it. But you also recognized why it would depend on your opinion. To begin with, it was because of you that he made friends with your family. He would want you to be comfortable with it more than anything. And of course, regardless of how great their relationship was, you knew your family would take your side no matter what. Each time you remember this fact, you are reminded of the disappointment and pain that your breakup would bring upon your loved ones.
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Something about the yuletide season tugs at your heartstrings each year. Everywhere you go, twinkling lights adorned the homes, business establishments, and the streets. Christmas brings a festive mood to the atmosphere and a unique blend of warmth, nostalgia, and anticipation that fills you with warmth despite the cold season. Your hometown is no different; each Christmas, it transforms into a wonderland of lights and decorations from house to house. In your own home, there is a warm sense of togetherness as your family gathers to share laughter, stories, and meals. 
You loved this mood, but this year is a little different. The festivity is still there, but the warmth of the familiar embrace has disappeared. The once-sweet scent of gingerbread in the air now had a bitter aftertaste to it that you knew was caused by the massive hole in your heart. And it didn’t help that the reason for this void was smiling next to you.
“Here we are,” he breathed, glancing sideways at you. It’s nightfall. The drive took four hours and you slept for most of it.
“The rules,” you reminded, making him nod. “Don’t forget them.”
“Alright, babe.”
“Babe?” you scowled, making Mingyu chuckle.
“Yes, ‘babe’,” he repeated, reaching for your hand on your thigh. “Come on, It’s only for the weekend.”
“Right. Only for the weekend,” you echoed, glancing at your joined hands.
Approaching the chateau, you marveled at the Christmas trees lined up along the driveway, and the glowing ornaments hanging on them. As you reach the entrance of the house, you can hear the low hum of amazement from Mingyu. Coming to the chateau always amazed him. Not that you can blame him. The chateau is magnificent— preserved and passed down through generations, it sits on a large estate and exudes grandeur and sophistication at every turn.
“Hello, sweetheart!” your mother greeted cheerfully, walking towards you with open arms.
You greeted her back with a smile, giving her a tight hug. As she approached Mingyu, you embraced the other members of your family who came out to greet you. 
“You arrived right on time for dinner,” your father stated, giving you a one-armed hug and a gentle squeeze on your shoulder. “I made your favorite.”
“You did?” you exclaimed, gleaming in delight. Your father puffed his chest proudly. “Aw, thank you!”
“You’re welcome, Bean,” he replied, evidently pleased to have elicited a good reaction from you. He patted your shoulder before greeting Mingyu. “Mingyu, my boy! Welcome back.”
“Good evening, sir,” Mingyu beamed, shaking hands with your father but the latter pulled him into a hug. 
“It’s been a while,” said your father, smiling contently. “How have you been, son?”
“Very well, sir,” your ex-boyfriend replied as he let your father lead him into the house. As they went, you could hear some of their conversation. 
“Not as well as I have,” your father chuckled cockily. “Did you know I’ve been hitting the gym these days? Putting in some literal leg work.”
“Nice. Although I already know. Dave told me you were there once every week.”
“Of course. And what an excellent PT he was, Dave. You have my thanks for introducing me to him.”
You caught your mother by the arm as she was passing by you. “Dad’s been going to the gym?”
“Don’t get me started, y/n,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. She leans closer to speak in a quieter voice. “I’m glad that he’s exercising because it’s good for his health, but this thing which he calls ‘gains’ is making him vain and more annoying than usual.”
You snorted, unable to stifle your laughter. Your mother sighed with exasperation before turning to walk away from you. At that moment, you spotted Mingyu with your cousins, making you assume he was snatched away from your father’s grasp. They laughed as they chatted, contributing to the warmth permeating the atmosphere of the entire house. You couldn’t help admiring Mingyu, completely taken by his natural charm and charisma that make it easy for him to be friends with everyone.
Oh, to be Kim Mingyu— outstanding, endearing, compassionate; loved by all who meet him. Visually, he’s remarkably handsome, with his tan skin and prominent features, brilliant eyes that gleam with kindness, and a beautiful smile that lights up his face. He’s quick-witted and intelligent, capable of holding conversations about various subjects at different levels of seriousness. His sense of humor is the cherry on top, bringing laughter and joy to every gathering. He’s incredibly thoughtful too, not to mention caring. Whether it's helping out with chores, lending a listening ear, or surprising them with thoughtful gestures, Mingyu loved your family as much as he loved you. This is why he was able to build a strong connection with them, something you would hate to break if you were to reveal that you two have broken up.
In your family’s eyes, Mingyu is more than just your boyfriend; he's a part of the family, someone they wholeheartedly embrace and admire. Sometimes you’d think you fumbled when you broke up with him but then you get a flashback of the events leading up to the breakup and you realize nobody is perfect; not even the Golden Boy, Kim Mingyu.
“Everything alright?” he asked upon approaching you. He had caught you staring from across the hall while he was catching up with your cousins.
“Yeah. Mom said we should all head to the dining hall for dinner.”
“Sure. Let’s go,” he beamed, placing a hand on your waist as you led the way.
You headed straight to the dining area for dinner, where you got to meet the rest of your family who will be joining you for the weekend. Most of your relatives hold their own Christmas celebrations, the others who don’t get invited for a holiday break by those who want to host. Your mother is an excellent host, and she always sends Christmas invitations to your extended family, regardless of whether they can make it or not. As a matter of fact, Christmas at the Chateau is quite a popular recurring event in your family. That being said, there are always unfamiliar faces each year, as well as regulars who are more tight-knit with your immediate family.
“Dear lord, if it isn’t y/n,” said Aunt Lydia, a distant aunt whom you’ve only met a handful of times because she lived halfway across the globe and only showed up for important family functions. “Last time I saw you, you were wearing braces and corrective glasses. Now you’re a beautiful lady. Isn’t that right, Lena?”
Lena, her daughter, gave you a smile and a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s been a while, y/n.”
“You returned her sweet smile and let her hold your hand. 'Good to see you, Auntie. It’s been a long time. Good to see you too, Lena.' Their eyes were fixed behind you, making you glance back only to realize they were looking at Mingyu. He was chatting with some of your cousins, laughing about things you couldn’t comprehend from where you were standing.
“Is that your boyfriend? Mingyu, was it?” your aunt asked.
Your brows lifted, mildly surprised. “You know about Mingyu?”
“Oh, I heard about him. All good things,” she giggled. “I heard you’ve been together a long time?”
“I guess you could say that,” you chuckled awkwardly. At that same moment, Mingyu caught you looking so he smiled at you and then excused himself from your cousins. “I should introduce you to him.”
As soon as Mingyu was within reach, he snaked an arm around your waist, and you placed a hand on his shoulder as you motioned to your relatives.
“Auntie, this is Mingyu. Mingyu, this is my aunt from Europe. You haven’t met her before because she rarely comes here.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Mingyu beamed, leaning towards the elder lady for a brief hug.
“And this is my cousin, Lena.”
“Lena. Nice to meet you,” Mingyu recited, shaking hands with your cousin. The reluctance on Lena’s face when Mingyu didn’t greet her the same way he greeted your aunt did not go unnoticed by you.
“Hi, Mingyu. Pleased to meet you,” she replied, chuckling nervously before backing away and fiddling with the ends of her blonde hair.
As observant as you were, you knew right then and there that Lena was attracted to your boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend, although no one knows that yet. Nonetheless, you didn’t think much about it. It’s Kim Mingyu after all, loved by all who meet him. You couldn’t blame anyone who fell for him at first sight as it was the case for you when you first met him all those years ago.
It was at a college party, your third party in a week because everyone was trying to hold one to welcome the new semester. You had just transferred from another campus, and your friends were showing you around. Mingyu was by the poolside of that big house, dunking students into the water as a penalty for losing against him in arm wrestling. He seemed to enjoy the attention too, not shying away from it but not being cocky about it either. Both boys and girls surrounded him, all of them wanting to be friends with the most popular sophomore on campus.
Boys think he is cool, and girls, well, they’re girls—enamored by the handsome specimen, just like you were at that very moment. Daphne was the one who told you his name and added in his reputation for turning down girls without batting an eye. Not that you had any plans of confessing to him anyway. He was cute, yes, but that’s all. In no time, he’ll become nothing but a passing crush.
You were wrong, of course. He talked to you that night, asking for your name. The rest was history.
“So, Mingyu, how was work? I heard you got promoted to regular. Is that true?”
“It is. And work is wonderful. The firm really does live up to its name.”
“As they should,” an uncle of yours chuckled. “The family has been doing business with them for the longest time. We wouldn’t trust them if they weren’t any good.”
“Oh, so you're in business with them?” Mingyu glanced at you, and you shrugged as if to say you had no idea.
Your father hummed in response. “That firm oversees the estate's accounts, as well as the company’s books. You didn’t know, did you?”
'No, sir. I had no idea,' Mingyu responded, astonished.
“The founder, Mr. Harrington, happened to be a family friend,” interjected your eldest brother, Allan, a hint of amusement in his voice. “There were talks about exploring partnerships elsewhere, but when we heard you were working there, Dad seemed to have a change of heart.”
Your father chuckled warmly, eyes twinkling as he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “That’s enough, Al. Don't put pressure on the young man.”
“Oh, right. Speaking of that, is anyone going to the wedding?”
“Whose wedding?”
“Mr. Harrington’s daughter’s wedding. You did receive the invitations, didn’t you?”
Dinner table conversations are often like this; topics that span from individual career pursuits to the latest news in business or finance. As you go through the food, the conversations also transition to mundane topics or updates on family members, such as children’s school performances or how your cousin’s car broke down in the middle of nowhere on their way to the chateau. And then it would circle back to more profound or intellectual subjects.
Mingyu blends in effortlessly in your bunch, almost as if he belonged there to begin with. Given a chance, Mingyu would become the most welcome member of your family if you married him.
“Pathetic,” you mumbled to yourself, ridiculing your line of thought. Marriage with Mingyu? Are you serious? How could you possibly entertain the idea of marrying someone who let you leave without so much as a fight?
Your mood soured in an instant, so you stood up from your seat and excused yourself from the table as they all chatted away. The dinner was over but everyone was too immersed in their conversations to leave the table. Your feet brought you to a balcony overlooking the back garden and the pool area of the estate. It was cold but the tea was warm. Just when you thought you were alone to wallow in self-pity and overthinking, Mingyu's endearing voice called out your name, and his warm jacket settled on your shoulders.
“Everything alright?” he asked, standing behind you as he held your arms. “You left so suddenly.“
“I’m fine. Just a little stuffed,“ you told him, looking far beyond the dark horizon. The night sky was clear, with stars twinkling faintly above. As you took a deep breath, you pondered about the farce you and Mingyu were attempting to pull off this weekend. Is it worth the risk? Like hell, is it even necessary? You should have just told them the truth long ago and got it over with.
“Hey,“ Mingyu prompted, noticing your gloomy disposition. “What’s going on in your pretty little mind?“
You loved it when Mingyu talked to you like this, but not this time though. Given the situation you are in, the only thing he’s making you feel right now is annoyance and frustration.
“Stop that, Gyu,“ you grumbled, pulling away from his embrace. “There’s no need to act all lovey-dovey and sweet.“
Mingyu chuckled and looked around. “And make them wonder why we’re distant? That’s totally gonna convince them that we’re happily in love.“
Happily in-love? How can he say these things so carelessly? “We’re fine. No one’s suspicious.“
“We’ve been here three hours,“ he countered. “Back there, your mom was asking me if you were okay. If we’re going to make this work, shouldn’t we act like we usually do?“
“Fine.“ You rolled your eyes. “Just stick to the rules.“
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The rules were simple: stay in character, respect boundaries, don't tell anyone, and end it once you leave the chateau. That’s it. You can’t just walk into this without precautions, can you? So you and Mingyu agreed on these rules, which are more your rules than his. Either way, you intend to be faithful to these rules as it is the only way to prevent this whole thing from spiraling out of control.
You went up first to freshen up and get ready for bed. You scanned the room to see how you’d share it with your ex. Considering Mingyu’s height, the long couch by the balcony would be cramped for him. Sure, he’d fit just fine but he’s the kind of sleeper who likes to sprawl on the bed and take up a lot of space. The floor would be cruel, but it has more space for sure.
“It’s better than the couch, right?” you mused aloud, making your way to the door to request an extra mattress. But hesitating, you withdrew your hand from the doorknob. The floor option suddenly seemed unwise because asking for an extra mattress would surely raise suspicions about the state of your relationship. Opting instead for the balcony couch, you arranged a pillow and sheets for Mingyu. Then after discreetly taking a sleeping pill, you passed out for the day.
Waking up and seeing Mingyu in the morning felt normal, that was until you realized he was across the room instead of right next to you in bed. You took a deep breath as you pushed yourself up, your eyes still fixed on Mingyu’s sleeping figure.
“Must’ve been uncomfortable,” you mumbled to yourself.
The bed you used to share was warm, familiar, and comforting. His arms were strong, providing security as you awoke to his scent and the enveloping warmth of his presence each morning. Sometimes he'd be up and out of bed before you were, and you'd wake up to the nice aroma of coffee waiting for you in the kitchen. Other times, you'd wake him with a simple breakfast of eggs and pancakes, your culinary expertise may have been limited, but your affection was boundless.
There were also times when you'd both wake too early, your passion spurred in the hush of early morning hours. He'd be gentle and quick, but you liked those kinds of mornings. You used to think the mornings you shared with Mingyu were mundane, uneventful, and slow, but looking back, those mornings now shimmer with newfound appreciation. Now that it's gone and you're missing it, you couldn't help but acknowledge the possibility that you might have taken it all for granted.
As you sat on the edge of your bed pondering, Mingyu stirred, taking a deep breath and letting out a long raspy exhale. He blinked at you several times, smiling once his vision became clearer.
“Good morning,” he sang. If you were still together, you’d immediately jump on him for a cuddle. Now that you’re not, it’s difficult to keep a straight face. You don't even know how to properly respond to that simple greeting.
“Morning,” you greeted back. Then again, if you were still together, he wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch to begin with. 
The land where the chateau sat is only a small part of the vast estate that your family owns. If one were to take a quick drive or a ten-minute hike up, they would find a meadow and a lake further ahead. As a child, you had picnics there often, especially in spring. In the winter, a white blanket of snow covers what used to be lush greenery, making it a perfect place for sledding. As such, it became a family activity every Christmas.
You stepped out of Mingyu’s car, blinking at the beautiful white canvas before you. Mingyu uttered a low “wow” as he approached you, smiling toothily while he tightened his padded jacket. You breathed the crisp air, exhaling through your mouth as you did. This wasn’t his first time sledding with your family, or experiencing the expansive landscape of your home. You had shared picnics with Mingyu in these areas, basking in the beauty of spring or summer. Those quiet moments are among your fondest memories with him.
“What do you think?” he asked, eyes gleaming. 
You shrugged. “I like it here better in spring.”
Behind you, you could hear the soft thuds of car doors being closed as your family members emerged from their vehicles.
“Oh, look! It’s perfect!” Blair cheered with her hands clasped together in delight. 
Your father chuckled heartily beside you and only then did you notice that he had caught up to you. He placed his arm over your shoulder, giving you a side hug as he said to your sister, “What did I tell you? That heavy snowfall last night will do us some good.”
Ecstatic, Blair dragged her husband towards the hill; the latter pulling a sled. Your cousins followed them, and your father too while you stood there pondering your choice to come here. Should you have just stayed with your mom and aunts back at home?
Allan approached Mingyu, giving him a nod. Mingyu smiled back, saying, “Hey, Al.”
“Hey. I don’t know how to say this but…” your brother paused, glanced over his shoulder at the excited children emerging from his car, and then shrugged at Mingyu. “Are you okay with a bunch of kids bothering you all day?”
“What does that even mean?” you interjected, although you weren’t part of the conversation.
“The boys want to go sledding with Mingyu,” Allan sighed, placing his hands on his waist. “Only with Mingyu.”
Mingyu chuckled. “It’s alright. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?” Allan probed, looking somewhat apologetic. Mingyu nodded in assurance. “Okay, man. Thanks a lot.”
You watched as Mingyu approached your brother’s truck with a big goofy grin. Your nephews cheered his name before jumping into his arms at the same time. Mingyu laughingly carried the boys off the truck and you found yourself impressed by how strong he was to be able to carry two big kids. Then again, he had always been strong. He works out a lot and his efforts show in his toned physique. You know damn well how ungodly gorgeous he looks underneath those thick layers of clothing.
You gasped, shocked by your lewd thought. Shaking your head in an attempt to clear your mind, you muttered, “What the fuck.”
“Come again?” Allan asked cluelessly.
“I was talking to myself,” you deadpanned. Allan said he’ll follow the others up the hill so you nodded at him and told him you’ll stay to take pictures. He didn’t object to that so you grabbed the camera in the car and went to find a good spot to take pictures of everyone.
For the next hour, everyone went up and down the hill in their sleds, their cheers and laughter echoing through the air. Your father was dragging your little niece in her bright pink sled. Daniel and your cousins are on the other side of the hill, having a snowball fight. They would sometimes include you by throwing snowballs at you but you would dodge and threaten to punch them if they didn’t stop– as if your tiny fist would inflict any real pain. Even Allan who was just grinning around got roped into the fight. Blair didn’t give sledding another go after her first time because she didn’t find it ‘as fun as it looked’; so she’s down the hill making a snowman with her husband.
You made sure to take pictures of everyone. As you did, you found your lenses being directed at Mingyu more often than you’d like to admit. You wanted to be pretentious and say it was because he and the kids were adorable, but you knew that you just couldn’t help yourself. He was just too close to your heart and of course, him with kids is impossibly adorable.
“y/n! Show me the pictures!” your sister called so you trekked the snow back to where the cars were parked.
You let them scan through the photos and left to go up and meet your niece and father halfway up the hill. Your father seemed tired so you thought it was best to let him rest and take the kid off his hands.
“I think she’s tired too,” your father said, chuckling as you climbed down. “She must have snoozed on her sled twice.”
“She did?” you asked, turning to your niece. “Did you snooze, baby? Are you tired? Do you wanna go home with Mom?”
The darling little girl just shook her head, her eyes focused on her parents. When they spotted you, your brother-in-law happily took her off your arms. There was a quick chat before they decided to go back to the chateau and call it a day. Everyone followed suit, running down the hill back to the cars after being called back—everyone, except for Mingyu who walked down the other side of the hill instead. You decided to follow him, stopping Allan on your way.
“Where is he going?” you asked your panting brother. He’s got one kid on his shoulders and the other on the sled he was dragging.
“Who?” he asked, following your gaze. “Oh, Mingyu? Charlie’s sled went missing. He said he'd go find it.”
You went after Mingyu, hiking up the hill and trekking down to the other side where you found him heading straight into the sparse woods. Surely the sled didn’t go as far as into the woods, right?
“Kim Mingyu!” you called out, running after him. Your feet sank into the snow as you did, making it a little hard to run fast. “Mingyu!”
Mingyu stopped upon hearing you, turning to look at you and wave. “Come here!”
You frowned when you noticed that he was holding a sled. “Where are you going?”
He didn’t respond but instead, waited for you to catch up to him. As soon as you did, you pointed to what he was holding. “Is that Charlie’s?”
“Yeah, it slid all the way to that tree over there,” he replied, pointing to the tree but you didn’t bother to look.
“And? Where else are you planning to go? Everyone’s leaving.”
Still grinning goofily, he grabbed your gloved hand and said, “Let’s go to the lake.”
“The lake?”
“Yeah. I saw it from up the hill. It looked awesome.”
You scoffed. “It’s probably frozen.”
“I know. Let’s check it out,” he chimed, dragging you but you didn’t budge. That made him stop and glance back at you with a pout.
You looked away, feigning indifference. “It’s this way.” 
Mingyu trailed behind you, his hand still tight around yours. While you waded through the snowy path, you tried to remember if you had ever gone to the lake with Mingyu before. You have, a few times, but not in winter. Usually, there was nothing special or pretty about it in winter. As kids, you were forbidden from playing at the frozen lake in case the ice broke and you fell in, so you have never tried it before. There was just no reason to go there, except maybe to look around and pass the time.
“Oh, wow,” he exclaimed upon arriving at the spot. 
As expected, it was frozen. It wasn't even the picturesque, crystal-clear kind of frozen, but rather a boring, unremarkable freeze.
Disappointed, you said, “Nothing to see here."
“Are you kidding me? It looks really cool,” he replied, but you knew he was just being polite.
“It’s really not,” you deadpanned. 
Mingyu chuckled. “You’re right. It’s not.”
“Okay. Let’s go then,” you retorted, tugging him back to where you came from.
Mingyu resisted, pulling back with enough force to make you lose your balance and bump into him. He held you in place, his face close and his breathing warm against your cheek. With a goofy grin, he asked, “Ever ice-skated on a lake before?”
“No, and this is not that kind of lake.”
“You haven’t ice-skated on a lake before?” he asked incredulously. “But there’s a lake right here.”
“This is a dangerous lake.”
“Why?”
“Because...” you trailed off, searching for an explanation. “To be honest, I'm not even sure why.”
The massive grin on Mingyu’s lips made you roll your eyes. It was the kind of expression that said he wanted to go ice skating on the lake. You’re not even wearing the right shoes. You don’t know how deep the lake goes, and you have no idea how thick the ice has gotten.
“Don’t be stupid, Gyu.”
“Come on! It's gonna be fun!”
“I think you meant 'dangerous'.”
“I’ll keep you safe,” he promised.
That made you grumble and stomp your feet a few times. “Ugh, fine!”
It was like releasing a dog from its leash in a park. Hand in hand, Mingyu excitedly rushed to the edge of the lake, where he cautiously tested the ice, first one foot and then the other. He took a few steps around and one small jump– then a big one that caused a surge of panic to grip you.
“Stop! What if it falls through?”
Mingyu threw his head back laughing. “It’s alright, the ice is pretty thick. Come here.”
You stared at the hand he was offering and then shook your head. Mingyu let out a small tut, seizing your hand firmly and guiding you toward the ice. You trod carefully as you went, looking down below at the murky water and wondering if it was solid enough to hold the two of you.
As you approached the center of the lake, Mingyu released your hand momentarily to zip up your jacket snugly. You pouted as he cupped your cheeks, still protesting at his idea of 'fun'.
"Just relax. I've got you. You'll be fine," he reassured, adjusting your beanie to shield your ears from the biting cold. You nodded, gradually getting used to the icy ground beneath your feet.
Just as you began to ease into the moment, breathing freely and feeling the tension in your muscles dissipate, Mingyu suddenly rushed forward, dragging you along with him toward the center. Panic surged through your veins, your heart racing uncontrollably.
Your shrieks tore through the quiet air, overlapping with Mingyu’s ecstatic laughter. You clung to his hand tightly, scared for good reason. If the ice breaks and you fall in, at least you won’t die alone–that was what you were thinking as you closed your eyes and let Mingyu run around in circles. And while you grappled with the chaos in your head, his reassuring reverberated through your ears.
"It's okay," he consoled, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I've got you! Open your eyes, baby."
You did as he asked, reluctantly opening your eyes to be greeted by a broad, toothy grin from your charming companion. Was he really persuasive? Or were you simply taken aback by the endearment he just used on you? Yes, you know he had been calling you that ever since you got here so to avoid raising suspicions on your pretense, but why did it send a surge of nostalgia this time?
It almost felt like the relief of finally experiencing something you had missed so dearly.
“See? How fun is this?” he shouted, still running with you.
"Not fun at all!"
"Really?" he asked again, skeptical. "Not even a little?"
Of all the people you have met so far in your life, Mingyu had the most contagious smile which was why he had you smiling in no time. Before you knew it, you were running around the frozen lake, fear and anxiety long forgotten. Your cheeks were flushed from the cold, and sore from laughing too much. Your shrieks echoed across the icy surface as he took his turn chasing after you. You didn't even notice how your goofing around has turned into a spontaneous game of tag.
Lost in the moment, you lost track of time, the hours slipping away unnoticed as you enjoyed each other's company and indulged the children in you.
“Caught you!” he exclaimed triumphantly, tackling near the edge of the lake, and sending both of you tumbling onto the soft snow.
You lay there breathless and giggling, feeling both exhilarated and euphoric from your shenanigans. Glancing sideways at him, you found him already looking at you, and both of you burst into laughter at each other's flushed faces. The chill of the snow against your neck soon became unbearable, prompting you to sit up. With a playful tap on Mingyu's chest, you urged him to do the same.
“God, I’m so tired,” he complained but the smile on his face never left.
“Yeah. You’re crazy energetic,” you retorted, letting out a long exhale.
Mingyu scooted closer to you, wrapping a hand around your waist. “But you had fun.”
Rolling your eyes, you leaned on his chest, comfortable in his warmth. “Yeah. I did.”
“Good. Let’s do that.”
“Do what?” you hummed, closing your eyes to bask in the warmth that was engulfing you.
“Oh, you know. Loosen up and take things easy,” he replied and that made you pull away to look at him.
“Meaning…?”
“Meaning we should stop worrying about it.” He tapped your nose affectionately, a warm smile on his lips. “It’s Christmas. Let's have fun.”
You sighed, the weight of your concerns heavy in your mind. "But that's not why we came here."
"I know," he acknowledged with a groan. "We'll get there eventually. For now, let's just... you know... forget about it. Just for now."
He was staring at you intently and you couldn’t help but stare right back. Everything about this moment was overwhelming—the cold, his warmth, his gaze, the proximity—everything. You both sat there face to face, quietly staring and speaking with your eyes only. At one point, it seemed as if you had come to a mutual decision on something, but you sat there waiting for him to make the first move.
“God, you look so beautiful in this light.”
Your heart somersaulted in your chest, but you were so tensed that you tried to humor the nerves away. “Did you just quote Ed Sheeran?”
Mingyu’s brows furrowed slightly, but his affectionate gaze remained. “And you’re so adorable too.”
At this point, your soul has left your body out of sheer joy. Still, you couldn't resist teasing him in response. “Duh, Mingyu. Tell me something I don’t know?”
“I could kiss you right now.”
You exhaled sharply. “Well, don’t be shy now.”
As Mingyu leaned in for a kiss, you closed your eyes in anticipation. You could already feel his breath fanning your face but before his lips could meet yours, the sound of car horns honking nearby shattered the beautiful air enveloping you. Startled, a loud gasp escaped your lips while Mingyu swiftly withdrew.
“What the actual f–” You stood up and spun to see whoever it was and spotted a pickup truck from a distance. Daniel’s head popped out from the window of the driver’s seat, followed by his shouting.
“What are you guys doing out here?” your brother called out, pressing on the horns again. “Everyone’s looking for you back at the chateau!”
You grumbled, stomping your feet as you walked towards the vehicle looking annoyed. Mingyu grabbed the sled he was looking for earlier and followed behind you. When you reached the truck, you stood by Daniel’s window with a deep scowl.
“Everyone thought you guys were dead or something,” he quipped, rolling his windows up just before you started pounding on it irritably.
“What? Can’t I have some alone time with my boyfriend?” you huffed, kicking the tire when you failed to open the door.
Daniel was making faces at you from inside the car while Mingyu chuckled behind you. He gently squeezed your shoulder to calm you down, but you glared at him instead. Mingyu instinctively backed away, raising his hands in surrender.
"Surely you won't take it out on your boyfriend, will you?" he asked with a coy grin. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and seeing this, Mingyu puffed out his chest proudly and wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. "I am your boyfriend, right?"
“Gosh, men are so annoying,” you whined, reaching for the backseat door so you could climb into the car.
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Making gingerbread houses is a serious activity in your house; it was a while competition between you, your sister, and everyone else who wants to challenge. As such, it has become your favorite activity since you were a child. You were amazing at it and would always come out on top with your intricate designs and sturdy outputs. That was when Mingyu wasn’t in the picture yet. Now, you’ve been on a lose streak for three Christmases in a row and this year doesn’t look promising either. 
“Mingyu! Careful with that!” you warned as he placed the roofing for your house. Mingyu froze mid-air, glancing at you nervously.
“I think you should do it,” he pleaded, chuckling nervously.
You rolled your eyes, grumbling as you carefully took the piece from his hand. Mingyu is a good cook, but pastry? Definitely not his forte. His big hands are among your favorite features of his, but it’s useless in any activity that requires careful handling and finesse.
Blair rounded the counter and approached you. She took a big sniff and said, “Hmm, it smells like a loser over here.”
You scoffed, nudging her elbow. “Go away!”
With immense focus, you placed the roofing on your gingerbread house successfully, dusting your hands contently right after. 
“You’re so good at this,” Mingyu whispered next to you, beaming. Proud, you scrunched your nose at him and opened your mouth when he offered a piece of bread for you to eat. 
“Daniel, dear,” your mother called from the doorway, catching everyone’s attention. “Come help with the tree.”
Daniel skipped across the room to your mom, making your cousin Sydney sigh in relief of finally getting rid of the blackhole in her team. 
“Mingyu, you too please.”
Mingyu nodded at her and turned to you to say, “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” you replied, not even glancing at him as he scooped your cheek for a kiss. “It’s okay if you don’t. I might have a bigger chance of winning if you don’t.”
“Where are they going?” Lena asked, eyeing the doorway.
“Mom’s probably setting up the Christmas tree for tonight,” you replied.
“Why? Isn’t there already a Christmas tree?” Lena questioned.
“It’s a chateau tradition,” Sydney explained. “Before Christmas Eve dinner, we decorate a tree as a whole family using special ornaments.”
“Special ornaments?”
Aunt Lydia, interjected, “Ornaments that hold sentimental value, Lena. This house has been in the family for generations and has seen over a hundred Christmases. Our family loves to look back and think about the history that has shaped this very family into who we are today.”
Lena hummed in amazement. “That’s so awesome and special.”
“It is.” You smiled, mirroring the fond looks on Blair and Sydney’s faces.
“It’s pompous if I do say so myself,” said a familiar voice entering the kitchen hall. You spun to see your Aunt Sylvie walk in with a charismatic air about her. She sauntered in, heels clicking on the floors. “It’s a reminder that we are high-born snobs. Trust fund babies who never have to work a day in our life and still live a life of luxury.”
“Oh, god,” Sydney muttered beside you, looking mortified. “She’s so late.”
“Hello, children,” she lilted, winking at you specifically when you met her gaze. Your heart felt full, forever in awe of your favorite relative.
“Sylvie?” your Aunt Lydia exclaimed.
Sylvie’s smile got redirected. “How nice of you to finally join us, Lydia. I couldn’t believe it when they told me.”
They both laughed as they embraced. Lena’s mom grinned playfully at aunt Sylvie. “Still living the high-born snobbish life?”
Sylvie tutted confidently. “It’s what I do best.” 
At first glance, Aunt Sylvie is no different from the rest of the family, but she’s the wild card. In a family known for its polished manners and prestigious accomplishments, she stood out like a rose in a garden of daisies. She lives a privileged life while staying unapologetically herself. Her laugh was always loud and infectious, her stories filled with both gossip and adventures.
“Going for the win this year, huh?” Aunt Sylvie remarked as she examined your work.
“That’s the plan,” you replied with a grin.
“Well, good luck. You have my vote, no matter what,” she promised, reaching for the wine bottle on the counter.
Blair protested, “Hey, that’s cheating!”
“Playing favorites, that’s what it is,” Sydney pouted. Aunt Sylvie giggled, sauntering over to Sydney and planting a playful kiss on her cheek. Sydney just rolled her eyes.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. You’re still my favorite daughter,” Sylvie teased, tucking a strand of Sydney’s hair behind her ear before strolling away with her glass of red wine.
“That’s because I’m your only daughter!” Sydney shouted after her, a smile tugging at her lips as her mother exited the kitchen.
Mingyu, Daniel, and Sydney’s boyfriend, Luke, burst into the kitchen, their laughter and chatter filling the room. Everything was going smoothly until Mingyu bounded over to you, knocking over your intricately decorated gingerbread Christmas tree. The tree, which you had painstakingly adorned with candy ornaments and icing, was supposed to be the crowning jewel of your work. Now, it lay in a heap of crumbs on the kitchen floor.
“Oh my god,” you muttered, staring blankly at the mess. “Kim Mingyu…”
“Oh, damn, did I do that?” he asked, looking genuinely bewildered. Neither of you could figure out how it happened; one moment it was standing, and the next it was on the floor.
Allan’s wife looked over, her eyes widening at the sight. “Oh, no, Y/N,” she exclaimed sympathetically.
Everyone else hurried over to see what had happened, their faces mirroring the same look of pity for you.
“I knew it smelled like a loser over here,” Blair snickered, unable to resist the jab.
The room fell silent for a moment before you managed a rueful smile. “Well, there goes my masterpiece.”
Mingyu sheepishly picked up a piece of gingerbread. “I’ll help you rebuild it,” he offered, his tone earnest and apologetic.
Daniel couldn’t hide his grin. “And destroy it again for good measure.”
The room was soon filled with laughter and playful teasing, all at your expense. You just took it in stride, although you were a little disheartened. Amidst all that, Mingyu pulled you into a warm hug, even kissing the top of your head.
“That’s okay, baby. Winning is great, but it’s nothing if you didn’t have fun doing it together,” he consoled you, although you could tell he was just teasing you like everyone else.
“Go away,” you scolded playfully.
It was as if you had never broken up at all. You shared more than just the playful moments at the lake or sweet displays of affection in the kitchen. During the family tree decorating, you and Mingyu were wrapped in your own world, laughing and giggling as you both struggled to untangle a string of lights—only to end up getting scolded for not helping enough.
For the Christmas Eve dinner, you wore an elegant green dress that received a dramatic round of applause from Mingyu. He stood up, clapping with exaggerated enthusiasm and making everyone laugh. You joined your family at a beautifully set dinner table, sharing stories and laughter over the delicious meal. You sat opposite Mingyu, which gave you both the perfect excuse to exchange loving glances throughout the evening, basking in the warmth and acceptance from everyone around you.
After dinner where Blair won the gingerbread house contest for the second time in a row, everyone gathered in the movie room, snuggling together under warm blankets. Your head rested on Mingyu’s chest, his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulder. Both of you felt content and at home in each other’s embrace. As the movie ended, the younger kids were tucked into bed, and the older family members began to retire to their rooms. You and your cousins had other plans.
In the cozy warmth of the game room, where you and the other young adults gathered for some unchaperoned bonding time of your own, the game of charades became wildly competitive and chaotic. You and Sydney huddled together on a big sofa, guessing the answers that the boys were acting out, groaning and cheering with everyone else as the game progressed. Drinks flowed freely, light and festive, keeping spirits high.
At one point, when the game got boring, everyone settled in front of the fire, sharing stories and cracking jokes. The flickering flames cast a warm glow on your faces, and the room was filled with the comforting sounds of laughter and clinking glasses. Everything was perfect, beautiful new memories were being made.
And then Mingyu managed to convince you to go out for a walk. Bundled up in sweaters and padded jackets, you clung to his arm for support, letting the cool winter evening sober you up. Mingyu kept cracking jokes, and you laughed like you were in a stand-up comedy bar. This went on until both of you reached the pool and decided to turn back.
The weather was cold, but the atmosphere was warm and sweet. And the smell—strangely enough, you enjoyed the sweet, smoky scent coming from the chimneys, much like how some people find the earthy smell after a rain shower pleasant and refreshing.
“What are you thinking about?" Mingyu asked, slinging his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close.
“Nothing, I…” you took a deep breath as you started walking back to the main house. "I just love Christmas.”
“I can see why,” he chuckled lightly, pressing a quick peck on the side of your head.
You rolled your eyes and moved your head a few inches away from him. “Hey, that’s rule number one.”
“Actually, it’s rule number two,” he corrected, grinning. “And can I please break it?”
“You’re only asking me that now? Literally, after you were done breaking it?”
Mingyu nodded with exaggerated seriousness. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Gosh, you’re so…” you huffed incredulously, taking his arm off your shoulder and walking ahead of him.
“Wait. Let’s go together,” he called, chuckling.
When he caught up to you, he held your hand and intertwined your fingers. His smile was warm, and also very goofy. You scoffed and laughed, unable to hide how charmed you were by him. Quietly, you trekked back to the house, your breaths visible in the cold air.
“Hot tub?” he asked as soon as you were in front of your bedroom door.
You were taken aback by the offer. “What?”
Mingyu chuckled nervously, equally flustered. He then cleared his throat and tried to keep a straight face. “I don’t mean… that. I meant you should get a warm bath in the hot tub before… Ugh, fuck.”
Mingyu turned away, burying his face in his palms and muttering curses under his breath. You, on the other hand, were still processing the situation. You were shocked that he was offering the hot tub, only to find out he didn’t mean it the way you understood it.
“God, it’s in my head now.”
“What is?” you asked, belatedly realizing it was a bad question. You should have known what he was trying to say. The hot tub in the bathroom of your bedroom was a very intimate place for the two of you. A hiccup escaped your lips as you put two and two together.
Awkwardly, you pushed the door open and said, “I’m gonna go ahead.”
You walked briskly inside the bedroom, eager to avoid being in the same space as Mingyu. But then you turned around and saw that he had walked inside too. How did you even forget that you were sharing this room?
There was a moment of silence as you both stood there, tension wrapping the room. Mingyu finally broke the ice, his voice soft and hesitant. “Look, I’m sorry if I made things weird.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “No, it’s okay. I just… didn’t expect it.”
Mingyu took a step closer. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t even mean it that way.”
You smiled faintly, feeling the warmth of his sincerity. “I know. Thanks, Mingyu.”
He grinned, the awkwardness slowly melting away. “How about I start the bath for you?”
You nodded, appreciating the gesture. “That would be nice.”
Mingyu moved to the bathroom, and you heard the sound of water filling the tub. You took off your jacket and sat on the edge of the bed, your mind swirling with thoughts. Soon, Mingyu returned, his eyes gentle as he said, “It’s ready.”
You stood up and walked to the bathroom, pausing at the doorway. “Do you want to join me? I mean, it was cold out there.”
Mingyu’s eyes widened in surprise, but then he smiled softly. “You said that’s rule number two.”
You nodded. “I know.”
“Is it alright with you?”
You nodded again, feeling a mix of nervousness and anticipation. “It is.”
Both of you undressed and slipped into the hot tub, the warm water enveloping you in a soothing embrace. Mingyu sat across from you, his eyes never leaving yours. The intimacy of the moment was undeniable, the heat of the water matched by the growing warmth between you.
Mingyu reached out, his hand finding yours under the water. “I’ve missed this,” he murmured.
I’ve missed you, you screamed in your head. You could never say it out loud, so you just squeezed his hand gently and said, “Me too.”
The bath was a haven of warmth and quiet conversation, the water relaxing your muscles and easing the tension between you. After a while, you both got out and dried off, slipping into comfortable pajamas.
Back in the bedroom, you climbed into bed, tapping the space beside you when you saw Mingyu heading for the couch. He took your invitation and slid in beside you. You both lay there in the dark, the silence a total contrast to the chaos in your head. Finally, he turned towards you, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close.
“Goodnight,” he whispered, his breath warm against your neck.
“Goodnight,” you replied, your voice soft and content.
As you drifted off to sleep in his arms, the awkwardness of the evening was replaced by a comforting sense of closeness. The warmth of his embrace and the sound of his breathing lulled you to sleep, both of you feeling at home in each other’s arms once more.
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Waking up beside Mingyu felt like stepping back in time, the familiarity of his presence was bittersweet. He lay there, peaceful in the soft glow of the winter morning. You were just beginning to forget how it felt like to wake up next to him, now here he is, looking as breathtaking as you remembered him to be. This whole pseudo-relationship setup truly was a bad idea because you can already picture yourself resetting your moving-on process back to Day 1.
Or maybe, by the end of this, there will be no need to forget and move on, you pondered to yourself, feeling hopeful.
You fought with the urge to reach out and touch him, to let your fingers trace the lines of his face, reminding yourself that you were no longer in that kind of relationship. After all, you had made it clear that this was no longer that kind of relationship.
But wait… Why were you so hesitant about touching him? You were literally in the same hot tub the night before, bare and naked. Why would you be so wary about something as innocent as running your fingers through his hair? Hadn't you already crossed boundaries far more intimate than this?
Swallowing your pride and the lump in your throat, you slowly extended a hand to touch his face. Slowly, carefully, making sure you don’t wake him up. Just as you were feeling the warmth emanating from his skin, the ringing of your phone on the nightstand snapped you back into reality. Cursing under your breath, you snatched the phone from the nightstand, the name "Daphne" flashing insistently on the screen.
Your movements made Mingyu stir, groaning lowly as he stretched his legs out; sleepy eyes directed at you. With a raspy voice, he said, “Hi.”
“Hi. Sorry,” you mouthed, phone pressed on your ear. “Daph, hello. What’s up?”
“Sorry to bother you while you’re spending the holidays with your beau– oh, ex-beau,” she teased, snickering from the other line. “How is it? Have you got back together yet?”
“Please shut up,” you laughed nervously, eyeing Mingyu. You excused yourself and headed to the bathroom to speak with your friend in private.
“I guess it’s not going so well, huh?” she asked just as you were locking the bathroom door.
“Daph, the purpose of this trip is not to get back together,” you insisted, rolling your eyes although she could not see it. “Where did you even get that idea?”
Grumbling, you snatched your toothbrush and put toothpaste on it to clean your teeth with.
“I don’t know. Maybe from my exuberant interior designer who was just shopping with me the other day,” she retorted, poking fun at you. “Alright, I’m sorry. I was just teasing you. I actually called to let you know that I got called into the store because some materials came in that I don’t remember ordering. So, naturally, I assumed these are for the renovations?”
“What are they?” you asked back with the toothbrush still in your mouth.
“It says here that these are gold-plated clothing racks, premium quality.”
You hummed, confused. “I didn’t order anything like that.”
“Oh, is that so? Alright. Maybe I did. Or someone I know,” she sighed and tutted. “Anyway, I’ll sort this out. Sorry to bother you.”
“Call me anytime, Daph,” you told her, your eyes darting to the bathroom door when you heard a loud thud from outside.
“I will. Tell everyone I said ‘hi’. And don’t swoon over your ex too much.”
“Whatever,” you sighed, exasperated. 
“Merry Christmas, sugar.”
“Merry Christmas.”
When you pushed through the door, you found Mingyu sitting on the edge of the bed, looking dazed with messy hair and a tired stare. He lifted his gaze when he noticed you, and flattened his lips into a sleepy smile.
“What happened?” you asked worriedly, taking notice of the blanket and pillow on the floor.
“Oh, nothing, I just…” Mingyu sighed, scratched his neck, and stretched it sideways. “I fell.”
You gawked at him. “You fell?”
He nodded, sheepish. You exhaled sharply, not even surprised. Mingyu, as big as he is, is by far the clumsiest person you’d ever met.
“Go wash up,” you instructed, walking towards the pile of beddings to pick them up. Instead of heeding your order, Mingyu snatched you by the waist, making you squeal as he swept you up and fell on the bed with you.
You tried to free yourself from his arms, but he was stronger than you by miles. “Let me go, Gyu.”
He hummed his disapproval and nuzzled on your neck. “Let’s stay in bed all day today, okay?”
“No,” you whined, squirming but he pinned you down. Despite your efforts to escape, he only seemed to take it as a challenge, launching into a relentless tickle attack.
“Kim Mingyu! No!” you warned sternly, pointing your index finger at him in an attempt to assert authority..
The grin that he gave you was menacing. “Kim Mingyu, yes.”
“Mingyu, I swear to God I will— aaaagh!” Shrieks and laughter filled your bedroom, along with Mingyu’s taunting and deep grunts each time you kicked his shins or punched his chest. He kept going until tears started streaming from your eyes from too much laughter. Only when your pleading voice began cracking did Mingyu stop.
“Gosh. You’re so annoying!” you sobbed, infuriated. He laid beside you on the bed, wrapping you back in his embrace.
“Sorry, baby,” he whispered, kissing your forehead. “I was just playing around with you.”
“Well, it was not fun! Playing is supposed to be fun!” you scolded, swatting his arm away.
“I know. I’m sorry,” he shushed.
But you continued whining. “No, you’re not!”
You managed to get away from him and leave the bed to slump on the sofa and sulk. Mingyu sighed, although he looked genuinely apologetic. He always teased you like this, knowing how ticklish you were. And you always responded this way too, sulking and whining as much as you want.
“Baby…” he called softly, making his way to you.
“Don’t you call me that!” you retorted sharply.
Mingyu chuckled. “Okay, sweetheart.”
You scoffed. “What are you, my mom?”
“Then, ‘honey’ maybe?” he chimed.  You pushed him away with your foot, but he kept himself rooted in place, easily.
“Go away!”
"What about, 'darling'?" he continued, kneeling before you as he set your foot back down. He placed a gentle kiss on your knee, his lips lingering before trailing up your thigh. "My angel?"
The way he caressed your thigh tickled you in a way that was entirely different from what he did a while ago. This time was more sensitive, and pleasant… very pleasant.
“My love?” he sang, taking your hand and kissing the back of it.
You snatched your hand back, sighing as you scooted a little on the couch. “Stop it.”
Mingyu occupied the space next to you, touching your chin and lifting it so your eyes would meet his. “Why? I said I was sorry. Do you hate me for real?”
"No," you admitted with a pout, looking away. He gently redirected your gaze back to him.
You held his gaze, still scowling, but Mingyu's sweet smile softened your expression. He studied your face as if he didn’t already know it by heart, his eyes lingering on your lips. You flattened them together to discourage his advances, but he only chuckled and tapped your nose.
“You’re so cute,” he remarked.
You scoffed. “I know. Can’t say the same for you, though.”
Mingyu threw his head back in laughter before fixing his gaze on your lips again. For a moment, you thought he might kiss you, but before it could happen, loud knocks on your bedroom door interrupted the moment. Mingyu rose to open the door, revealing your oldest brother dressed as Santa Claus, complete with a fluffy white beard and a jolly laugh.
“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, children!” Allan greeted, drawing candies from his bag and throwing them in the air.
“Ha ha. It’s Santa,” you deadpanned, unamused.
Allan looked at Mingyu and then at you. “Good. You’re both decent. Let’s go open some gifts.”
He then walked away with his Santa laugh, while Mingyu beckoned you to the door. You said you’d wait for him, so he hurried to the bathroom to freshen up and while he was in there, you were scolding yourself for the way things are going. You kept reminding yourself that there is no getting back together, just making your family happy. That conversation with Daphne was a needed wake-up call.
“Are you ready?” Mingyu asked when he stepped out of the bathroom. You nodded and so you went to join your parents together. 
Everyone’s gathered in the living room, some of them still yawning and out of it. The kids were excited, jumping around and rushing to Mingyu when they saw you two descending the stairs. 
A younger kid, wide-eyed with excitement, piped up, "Your friend is not coming today, Mingyu?"
"Yeah, the Grinch friend!" another kid exclaimed.
“Grinch! Grinch! Grinch!”
You chuckled, knowing exactly who they were referring to. It was from last year when Daniel was Santa and Mingyu decided to come as The Grinch. But instead of ruining Christmas, he spoiled the kids with huge supplies of chocolates and sweets. You can still remember how the moms reacted to that— mad. But since he’s Mingyu, he got away with it.
As the family gathered around the Christmas tree, you all took turns opening presents. Santa, aka Allan, gleefully announced each gift, adding to the festive atmosphere. Then, amidst the wrapping paper and excitement, you heard Santa call out that Mingyu had something for you. You were surprised, considering you had agreed not to exchange gifts this year.
With a sheepish grin, Mingyu handed you a small box. Inside was a delicate necklace, simple yet elegant, just your style. You couldn't help but smile, touched by the gesture.
“Thank you,” you told him, examining the jewelry.
“You’re welcome,” he chimed, his hand pressed in the middle of your back.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” your father prompted after a few seconds. “Put it on her!”
“Yeah!”
For the amusement of your family, Mingyu put the necklace on you himself, his fingers deftly fastening the clasp as everyone watched with amusement. It was small moments of intimacies like this that will convince your family that everything is fine— that Mingyu is a part of you, of them.
The excitement of opening gifts soon subsided, and a long table of breakfast buffet was brought in for those who wanted to eat. While you sat to eat with some of your family members, the others went out to play in the snow. You watched them from the large windows, smiling absent-mindedly as Mingyu, in his element, was building a snowman with your niece while fending off the snowballs being thrown at him by the little boys. He was so good with the kids and they loved him so much for it.
“So, when did you two get back together?” your Aunt Sylvie prompted casually as she sliced through her waffles.
Caught off-guard, you blinked. “I’m sorry. What?” 
“I thought you broke up with him?” she asked again and suddenly, the vivid memory of you drunk calling your aunt and wailing about how you broke up with Mingyu flashed in your mind.
You opened your mouth to speak but your other cousin Felicity cut you off. “You guys broke up?”
“What? When?” Blair chimed in, visibly confused.
Aunt Sylvie erupted into laughter, though a hint of awkwardness lingered beneath her merriment. “Sorry, y/n. I got you mixed up with your other cousin. She and Billy parted ways over the summer.”
“Right,” you acknowledged, a wave of relief washing over you as the memory of your tipsy phone call to Aunt Sylvie resurfaced.
“Oh, of course, Auntie Sylvie. Tricia was here with her new boyfriend.”
“Hmm. I know. I thought it was Billy, to be honest. She certainly has a type,” she told Sydney who just giggled.
Sydney's voice rang out with conviction. “There’s no way y/n and Mingyu would break up.”
"Of course." Aunt Sylvie's laughter gradually subsided as the misunderstanding was clarified. “Say, Blair, aren’t you due to give birth this month?”
“No. Seriously,” Sydney interjected, her tone firm. “I know people break up all the time, but y/n and Mingyu are just… different. They’re so in love, it’s actually enviable sometimes.”
“That’s true. They’re so compatible, it’s almost hard to believe such a relationship exists,” your cousin added, her words laced with admiration.
“Guys…” you chimed in, feeling a mix of embarrassment and guilt as all eyes turned to you.
“Have you seen Mingyu? That guy is down bad.”
“Agreed. So bad. He’s in deep,” Sydney chuckled, reminiscing. “Did you know he used to bring her flowers every day when we were in college? Every. Single. Day.”
“He even sang to her once,” Blair teased, shooting you a playful look. “Which was adorable, considering he’s not a singer.”
“Definitely not.”
“So he’s a simp?” one person quipped, prompting laughter from the group.
“But did you see the way he looked at her?” Lena interjected. “I’ve only met the guy this weekend, but I can tell by the way they look at each other.”
“Yeah, we’ve seen it, Len. You should see them when they’re playing or just hanging out by themselves. They are in love.”
“And even when we’re all gathered together, these two always have their own world. It's like they’re here, but they are also in their own separate bubble at the same time.”
“He’s so sweet too. He seemed to know exactly how to make y/n feel confident and pretty and loved… You know what I’m saying?”
“Honestly!” one of your older cousins affirmed. “One time my little girl asked me why her dad and I weren’t as sweet as you guys.”
Felicity snickered. “Yeah. I was there at the time, and when I tell you, I screamed!”
“She’s four, guys. Four. She doesn’t even know that my name is not ‘Mom’,” she added, eliciting laughter from the group.
“Well, my sister said she’ll find herself someone like Mingyu,” Sydney recounted, causing Aunt Sylvie to gasp.
“Rue? She said that?”
“Oh, yeah, she did. You better watch out, y/n. She might come for your man when she finds out how hard it is to find someone remotely close.”
The perception of a "perfect" couple often serves as a beacon of hope for others, a shining example of enduring love in a world filled with uncertainty. People hold onto these ideals, weaving fantasies of their own fairytale romance inspired by the ideal relationship they see before them. But what happens when that illusion is shattered?
If you and Mingyu were their definition of true love, the news of your breakup would undoubtedly come as a shock to those who idolized your relationship. It might even shake the foundation of their belief in lasting love, causing them to question if such a thing truly exists. Will it be your fault if little children like Sabrina’s daughter stop believing in true love?
But the truth is, you and Mingyu were never meant to be seen as perfect or ideal. Like any other couple, you had your flaws and imperfections, but you chose to keep them to yourselves. Your struggles were kept behind closed doors, known only to you and Mingyu as you worked through them together. No one ever witnessed your arguments or disagreements because you believed you must not involve other people in your private business. And perhaps it was this commitment to privacy that led others to believe that your breakup was impossible. But as much as they may have wanted to believe in the fairytale of your love story, the reality is that relationships are complex and sometimes, they don't end happily.
So no, it wouldn't be your fault if people stopped believing in love because of your breakup. Love is not defined by the length of a relationship or the perceived perfection of a couple. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes, even endings. And while your breakup may have shattered the illusion of a fairytale romance for some, it doesn't change the fact that what you had was beautiful and the love that they witnessed was true.
Blair’s hand on your arm pulled you out of your musings. With a smile, she said, “I’m not trying to skip ahead or anything, but if you and Mingyu do end up getting married, it will probably be the best match I have ever seen in my entire life.”
“Amen!” Felicity cheered, raising her glass in the air. The others did the same, except you who gazed outside the window where you could see Mingyu.
As if aware that someone was watching him, Mingyu glanced back at you, waving happily when he spotted you.
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The festivities continued in your home for the rest of the day, with everyone doing their own thing but in the same room. Kids were running around, and adults were chatting over wine and snacks. You joined your mother at the stairs as she watched the festivities with a fond look on her face.
“Look at them,” she told you when you approached her and wrapped your arms around her waist. 
You hummed, looking at your family. “Yeah. They’re so noisy.”
Your mother chuckled heartily, rubbing your back. “But don’t you just love this sight? Everyone is smiling and laughing. Everyone is present to spend Christmas with us.”
“Yeah, well. I guess it’s nice,” you replied, feigning indifference despite understanding her sentiments. Like her, you breathed a contented sigh, watching your family.
“You know, I didn’t grow up with Christmas traditions. Unlike most families, mine didn’t care much for Christmas,” she began, making you glance at her. “Your grandparents divorced when I was little. They would send a gift and a card each year but I knew neither of them picked those for me. It was probably their assistants. There is no way my father would know I liked unicorns,” she laughed heartily.
“That’s terrible. I could never imagine a Christmas that’s different from what we have every year,” you confessed. 
“I know. Marrying your father gave me the chance to celebrate something so beautiful with a family who may not be the most perfect but just as special.”
Your eyes were fixed on your father, dancing groovily in the middle of the room to an old tune your uncle had just put on. He pointed at your mother, beckoning her to join him. She did, happily so. Everyone cheered as they danced together, ever-loving and sweet to each other. It was a heartwarming sight, and you realized that if there’s a couple to look up to, it’s your parents—the most compatible pair. She was the calm to his storm, the peace to his chaos. He brought color to her monotonous life. While he spoke impulsively, she grounded him with thoughtful words. While he spoiled you and your siblings, she kept the household in check. They were the perfect balance, each complementing the other. When they said there was a woman behind every successful man, they must have been right.
You watched fondly as everyone cheered for your parents, the other couples eventually joining in. Your eyes met Mingyu’s in the crowd, and he gestured for you to join him on the dance floor. You shook your head briskly. If there’s one thing you’d never do, it’s dancing in front of other people.
“Come on, love!” he called out again.
“No way. I’ll pass. Have fun, though.”
He insisted, and soon your other relatives joined in, urging you to dance. But you stood your ground. When Mingyu started walking towards you, you bolted up the stairs, heading straight for your bedroom. Mingyu was hot on your tail, calling your name playfully while you shrieked. You fumbled with the door, trying to lock it as soon as you got inside, but Mingyu pushed through before you could bolt it shut.
“There is no parallel universe where you can outrun me, baby,” he breathed, pulling you by the waist so you’re flush against him.
“I’d still try, though,” you exclaimed, breathless and laughing, as Mingyu wrapped his arms around you, spinning you around the room. “You never give up, do you?”
“It depends on the fight, honestly,” he confessed, making you stop as you began overthinking again. However before you could form a coherent thought, Mingyu gave you a lift.
It made you laugh, and when your feet touched the floor again, you eased into the moment, staring at Mingyu as you swayed around the room. The music was faint and barely audible, coming all the way from the great hall downstairs. You had always known you were a terrible dancer, but Mingyu was good at it. It was easy to follow his lead, almost as easy as getting lost in the depths of his gaze. You were completely absorbed, totally entranced. How could you not be when he looked at you like his life depended on it?
“You're doing great,” he whispered, his voice low and reassuring. His hand on your waist guided you gently, and you felt a surge of confidence. 
“I know I’m not good, Gyu,” you admitted, a shy smile tugging at your lips. “You don’t have to lie.”
"But you’re perfect now," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "Just follow me."
With each step, you fell into a rhythm, moving together in a seamless dance. The room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in until it felt like there was nothing but the two of you, swaying in the quiet of your bedroom and making a memory you probably would never forget.
“You make it easy,” you whispered, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the dance. 
Mingyu's smile widened, and he spun you gently, bringing you back into his arms with a flourish. “You make everything better,” he said softly.
The sincerity in his voice made your heart skip a beat. Before you could respond, he dipped you low, his strong arms supporting you effortlessly. As he brought you back up, your faces were inches apart, his breath warm on your face.
The world around you blurred and the faint music from downstairs became a distant hum. All you could see, all you could feel, was Mingyu. The intensity of his gaze, the way his arms held you so securely, the way his lips hovered just a breath away from yours.
Unable to resist any longer, he closed the distance, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was soft at first, then deepened as the emotion between you surged. The kiss was a blend of longing, unspoken words, and unfulfilled promises, and it felt like coming home. It was like you lost something and only found it now. It felt like you belonged there; like this is the only thing you have and will ever know.
When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting together as you tried to steady your racing hearts.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” he said, making you scoff.
“Are you regretting it?”
“No!” he denied, throwing his head back as he laughed. “I just didn’t think you would let me.”
You playfully hit his arm, and he caught your hand, still chuckling. You rested your head on his chest, swaying gently with him. After a moment, Mingyu stopped and took a deep breath.
“So…“ he began, making you look up at him. “Do you wanna… make out or something?“
You laughed incredulously, both embarrassed and amused. “Why are you acting like we’re teenagers?“
“I haven’t really grown much after my teenage years,“ he said, shrugging. “So this has basically been my height since I was eighteen. You know, I was taller than my dad, which was crazy because—“
You cut him off with a kiss, frustrated by his nervous rambling. That's just another reason why he’s so endearing; he becomes a blabbering mess when he's nervous.
“You’re yapping,” you told him after parting from his lips. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”
Mingyu laughed nervously. “That’s the thing. It’s you… I’m nervous because it’s you.”
You rolled your eyes, but you were grinning. “You think sweet talk will sweep me off my feet?”
He shrugged. “Not really, but I do know how to sweep you off your feet.”
“How?”
Without warning, Mingyu lifted you into his arms, literally sweeping you off your feet, and carried you over to the bed. You both fell onto the mattress, you giggling and him grinning mischievously. He lay next to you, staring at you for a second before cupping your cheek and pulling you in for another kiss.
“I’m not nervous anymore,” he boasted, grinning against your lips.
You just laughed, leaning to give him a peck on the lips. As you lay entwined with Mingyu, the winter afternoon light filtered by the curtains cast gentle shadows across the room. His fingers traced delicate patterns down the length of your arm, evoking a shiver of anticipation. His lips crashed into yours again, and this time you welcomed him with vigor; tugging at the back of his neck and grabbing a handful of his hair as he deepened the kiss.
His hand found your waist, squeezing firmly as your tongues melded together in the kiss. You pouted when he pulled away, only to let out a faint moan when his mouth moved to your neck.
“Is this okay?” he asked as he slowly tugged the sleeves off your shoulder and planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin. 
“Yes,” you told him, ignoring the screams of protest in your head. “It’s more than okay.”
Mingyu exhaled sharply, your permission making him more ravenous. His mouth scaled your neck, sucking and nipping at the skin of your collarbone and shoulder blade. You didn’t even notice that he had stripped you off of your dress until you felt his hand roaming your bare torso.
“Mingyu…” you echoed. In the intimacy of the moment, you realized just how much you had missed his touch, how his every caress seemed to awaken a yearning that you didn’t realize was very strong until now. His lips found yours again in a tender kiss, a silent promise of the passion that lay ahead.
“I’ve missed you, y/n,” he breathed, caressing your cheek. “I was so lost without you.”
You held his gaze, tenderly and lovingly as you reached for his face and leaned to kiss him. “You’ve found me, Gyu. I’m right here.”
He kissed you again, only briefly before he sat up to discard his shirt far across the room. He then hovered over you, his gaze intense as he took in the view of your nakedness before him. Dipping low, he kissed your lips, then your neck, down to your collarbone, and then your chest where your heart is. His gentle hands cupped your clothed bosoms in a firm grasp as his lips moved further down to your belly.
And amidst the whirlwind of sensations, your mind is in a mess knowing that this moment will inevitably lead to something more. You knew all too well the consequences of surrendering to this desire, the inevitable pain that would follow. You should not. You must not. This is the worst that could happen. These thoughts, equipped with detailed explanations, swirled in your head in an attempt to drag you away from the lure of desire. 
But in the heat of the moment, you stared into Mingyu’s eyes as he positioned his head between your legs, one finger stroking your moistened underwear. Right then, your rationality fell apart and you ignored its calls. Then again, when have you ever listened to reason?
A gasp escaped your lips as soon as Mingyu’s tongue did what it came to do. His every stroke sent ripples of pleasure throughout your body, numbing your mind. You grabbed a fistful of his hair, moaning and calling out his name. As if he wasn’t already doing too much, Mingyu pushed a finger inside for good measure. You could feel your body twitching as the tease of release neared, and your eyes blurred with too much stimulation.
Please don’t stop, you screamed, but only in your head. Mingyu, however, stopped at that very moment, sitting up on the bed and gazing at your fucked out expression. His grin was menacing, satisfied by the view before him.
“You love that, don’t you?” he lilted, licking his lips cockily. Watching him unbuckle his belt almost made you cry as every fiber of your being begged for him to touch you again, to be one with him in body and soul.
“Mingyu…” you pleaded, not even hiding your desperation. Mingyu hurriedly hovered over you, kissing your forehead and caressing your face.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he said sweetly, kissing your lips and laughing when you chased after it. “I’m right here.”
Mingyu would never make you wait; he could not. He’s weak against your pleas and his fervor is about fifty times more than yours. So he gave you what you both wanted, pushing into you languidly with one movement. You whimpered due to the agonizing pleasure, back arching towards him as your body responded. His thrusts and unrestrained grunts had you spiraling, your nails embedded in his skin as you held onto him for dear life.
Worried you were being too loud, you bit your lip to stifle your moans, giving Mingyu a pleading look as you stared at each other. He smirked at you and stopped moving for a second. Without a warning, he did a sudden, hard, heavy, and deep thrust that had you yelping in bliss.
“Bite your lips again, I dare you.”
You raised an eyebrow, clueless but only momentarily. Breathless and hoarse, you asked, “Why not?”
“I want to hear you.”
Did he really think you disliked his little ‘punishment’ in any way? Feeling mischievous, you challenged him by biting your lips once more, making him ram into you roughly again. You bit back your moans so he did it again. Once more, and twice, until he finally realized that you were doing it on purpose.
Laughing darkly, Mingyu ducked to kiss you, his lips moving to your cheek and then nibbling on your ear before whispering, “You naughty naughty little lady.”
And so you surrendered yourself to him completely, losing yourself in the sweet oblivion of his touch. His hand explored every inch of your body, tracing the outlines of your curves with a gentle touch that left you breathless. Your bodies danced to the rhythm of desire and you cried each other’s names in ecstasy brought by release. It was a moment of pure bliss, a fleeting glimpse of paradise in a world filled with chaos and uncertainty.
You’ve done it, y/n, you told yourself. You’ve passed the point of no return.
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You lay nestled against Mingyu, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His arm wrapped around you securely, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your back. The warmth of his skin against yours was a stark contrast to the cold that loomed beyond the windows, and you sighed contentedly, feeling utterly at peace.
Mingyu shifted slightly, pulling the blanket up to cover you both more snugly. "Are you warm enough?" he asked softly, his voice low and gentle.
You nodded, nuzzling closer to him. "Perfectly warm," you whispered.
He tightened his hold on you, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. A comfortable silence settled between you, broken only by the soft sounds of your breathing. You felt his hand travel up to your hair, his fingers threading through the strands, soothing and calming. 
"Do you remember your first Christmas up here? We were sledding all afternoon and got caught in a snowstorm?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips at the memory.
Mingyu chuckled, a deep, warm sound that vibrated through his chest. "Yeah. It snowed hard that time. We had to hide in the cabin across the estate."
You hummed. “It was so cold. And the fireplace wouldn’t work."
"We had to keep each other warm," he added, laughing softly. His eyes met yours, filled with the same warmth and affection you felt. "Best snowstorm ever."
You sighed, closing your eyes and letting yourself enjoy the moment. It felt so natural, so right, to be in his arms again.
As the minutes ticked by, the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled you into a state of near-sleep. His warmth, his scent, the feel of his skin against yours—it was all so familiar, yet achingly new. You knew this would end, that reality would creep back in, but for now, you allowed yourself to bask in the moment, to let yourself be wrapped up in him.
“I wish we could stay like this,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
“We can, for a little while longer,” Mingyu replied, his voice equally soft. “Let's just enjoy this, okay?”
You nodded, a sense of calm washing over you. “Okay,” you agreed, snuggling closer.
But then your thoughts became too much to contain, one question repeatedly echoing in your head. “What about after this?”
“Hmm?” Mingyu inquired, opening his eyes slightly.
You pulled away from him, moving back a little so you could see his face properly. “What happens after this?”
Mingyu chuckled sleepily, pulling you back into his embrace. “Is that necessary? We’re having lots of fun. Let’s not spoil it with depressing conversations.”
His response stirred something in you—rage. A blind rage that made the veins on your forehead pulse. You exhaled sharply, pulling away again. “Why are we doing this?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
“We came here to fool my family, Gyu. Not for...” you paused, looking at the cozy state of your bed. “...this. Whatever this is!”
You kicked the sheets off your legs and stood up at once, pacing the room as you massaged your aching temples.
“Baby, come on,” Mingyu sang, following after you to pull you into his arms. You let him hug you, pressing your cheek against his chest while he ran his fingers through your hair. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what, Mingyu?” you groaned, pushing him with weakened arms while you tried your best not to sob. “Don’t do what? I don’t even know what we’re doing.”
His grip tightened around you, his voice a soothing whisper. “We’re just living in the moment, taking what we can get. Isn't that enough?”
You shook your head, tears finally spilling over. “No, it’s not. I can’t just pretend this doesn’t mean anything.”
Mingyu sighed, his own expression conflicted. “Babe—”
“Stop calling me that, please!“ you pleaded, crouching down on the floor as you felt your knees give out. You buried your face in your hands, hiding behind your hair as you sobbed. “I knew this was a bad idea. I fucking knew it!“
The room fell silent, the only sound being your sniffling. Your mind was a mess, and your heart throbbed painfully. After some time, you felt Mingyu’s hand on your back, the other on your knee.
“I’m sorry,” Mingyu whispered, his voice barely audible as he kissed the top of your head. “I’m so sorry.”
You lifted your head, meeting his apologetic gaze. “You don’t love me at all, do you?”
“Why would you even say that?”
“Because you wouldn’t be apologizing if you did.”
He uttered your name, the anguish on his face making your heart ache even more. You wished you could read his mind, wished he would open up and let you in on his deepest thoughts about your relationship.
“I love you, y/n... I loved you so much.”
“Then why did we break up?”
“Because it’s what you wanted.”
“You never fought me about it!” you cried, standing up and pacing away from him. You wiped the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. “You just walked out the door, Mingyu! You left without so much as a fight. It was like you were waiting for it to happen!”
“That’s not true!” he protested, standing up as well, his voice rising in desperation.
“Then why didn’t you say so?“
“Because you wanted it! I was just giving you what you want.” He slumped back on the couch. “You didn’t want me anymore. I knew it, I saw it, I felt it.”
“Can you blame me?” you asked incredulously. “You were too busy, Gyu. You had no time for us!“
“I was a newbie at work. Of course, I was busy,“ he retorted, still in a low voice but you could hear the frustration in his voice. “I was swamped with work, but I made sure to come home to you. I made time for you. I tried my best not to neglect you.“
“You tried, huh? Well, if you really did, I would have noticed it but I didn’t! You were always tired. We could go on not speaking a word to each other for hours. And then out of nowhere, you’ll be in the mood to have sex,“ you scoffed, laughing derisively. “What makes you think you can ignore me all day and I would still open my legs for you when you ask for it?“
Mingyu sighed, shutting his eyes in frustration. “Oh my god, y/n. You stopped having sex with me, did you forget? Even on days when we’re getting along, you never let me touch you. You always had excuses and I respected them. Some of them are ridiculous by the way, but I respected them all the same!”
He was right, but you weren’t ready to give up yet. “Then why did you change so much? You even stopped trying to fix things whenever we fought. You just go to bed and sleep like nothing was wrong!”
“That’s because you kept picking a fight over the smallest things! I can’t keep having all these stupid arguments with you,” Mingyu groaned, gesturing wildly.
“Exactly!” you hollered, exasperated. “That’s exactly the problem. It didn’t matter how small it was before. We always, always made up before the day ended.”
“You mean me?” Mingyu smirked mockingly. “We? There was no ‘we’ when it came to fighting. You never tried to make up, y/n. It was always me. No matter whose fault it was, I was always the first to apologize because you could never lower your goddamned pride!”
“Are you saying—”
“Stop it. Please, just fucking stop!” he snarled, finally losing his patience. His aggression startled you, making you take a few steps back. Mingyu was scowling, his jaw clenched, eyes filled with pain and indignation. He looked away, muttering curses as he ran his hands through his already wild hair.
He let out a big sigh before saying, “You can’t tell me that I didn’t fight because I did! I was there; I never left. Even with the pressure of securing a regular position at work, I tried to be a good partner to you. Even during your unreasonable fits, I stayed. Even when it felt like there was no hope, I fucking stayed! Your decision to break up was the last straw, y/n! It was the last straw! I was…” Mingyu’s voice cracked as he struggled to hold back tears. He tightened his lips and placed his hands on his waist, sighing in frustration as he backed away, trying to calm down. When he glanced back at you, the pained look on his face was still there.
“I was tired, Y/N. I was fucking tired. You had no idea,” he confessed more gently, finally allowing himself to cry. “You had no idea.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands. With tired legs, you sank onto the couch opposite the bed, quietly immersing yourself in your thoughts. You gazed out the window to avoid seeing Mingyu, but his faint sobs and deep breaths kept him in your mind.
Before coming to the chateau, you had asked yourself, "What could go wrong?" So far, nothing major has gone wrong, but this trip has unleashed the deep-seated frustrations you and Mingyu had about your relationship. Four years of unresolved issues had surfaced because neither of you was brave enough to address them. You had both been worried about offending each other, of hurting one of you unintentionally or burdening one another with personal problems. Now, you realize that you hadn’t grown apart because your love had wavered. The things you chose to ignore out of consideration, the tiny mistakes you excused—all these issues had grown into an insurmountable wall that caused you to lose touch.
It wasn’t your fault, nor was it his, and you knew that. You had never blamed anyone for the breakup. But it felt so damning to discover that things could have gone differently—that breaking up wasn’t necessary.
You glanced at Mingyu, still sitting with his face in his hands. Standing up, you wiped your cheeks and took a deep breath before walking towards him. You reached for his shoulder, squeezing it firmly to let him know you were there. You were the one who held the knife that stabbed a hole through both of your hearts. You were also the one who pulled it out when you instigated this confrontation. It was only right for you to be the one to stop yourselves from bleeding out.
“I love you,” you murmured, making sure it was loud enough for him to hear.
Mingyu wiped his face with his hand before looking up at you. “What?”
“I love you, Mingyu,” you repeated, starting to sob again. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that—I… I’m so sorry.”
With a gentle tug, Mingyu pulled you into his arms, locking you in a tight hug. You sobbed uncontrollably, gripping his shirt for dear life. He comforted you with soft shushing sounds, rubbing his hand on your back, and planting a few kisses on the side of your head.
“I love you too, baby. I love you so much,” he whispered, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. “God, I love you so much.”
Still wrapped in his embrace, you heard footsteps thundering outside your door, followed by urgent, hurried knocks that made you jump.
“Guys! We gotta go!”
“Did something happen?” you called back, frantically wiping your face, hoping to hide the evidence of your tears. Mingyu, just as flustered, used his shirt to dry his own face. He even helped fix your messed-up hair with his big, panicky hands.
And then you pushed the door open, revealing a shaken Daniel who announced, “Clair’s water just broke.”
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You stood outside the nursery, watching your niece behind the big glass window. There is a rush of emotions overwhelming you and it felt like your heart expanded with an intense, almost indescribable love. You gazed at the tiny, delicate features of the baby while Mingyu stood next to you, holding your hand and cooing at the sleeping child.
You can feel a sense of wonder and awe, marveling at the miracle of your niece’s arrival, Alyssa. Everyone thought she was Alfred the whole time. Turns out she was an Alyssa. Your sister said this baby is this year’s plot twist, a Christmas miracle. This was good to know because you had initially thought the plot twist that would shock your entire family was the fact that you and Mingyu were no longer dating.
“I don’t think I would ever have kids,” you told Mingyu on the drive back to the chateau.
He seemed surprised by your admission. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. I don’t see motherhood as something I would be doing in the future. I think the closest I can be to being one is as an aunt. I have enough nieces and nephews anyway.”
“Motherhood seemed like a huge responsibility too,” Mingyu affirmed, smiling.
“It does. I mean, I might change my mind in the future, but right now? No, not for me,” you added, glancing at Mingyu in the driver’s seat. “What about you?”
“Well, I love kids.”
You smiled fondly. “I can see that.”
“Yeah. And I would love to have one of my own in the future. Maybe more.”
Mingyu’s smile lingered, his eyes gleaming at the thought of having his own children. You found yourself drifting into a daydream, imagining a future where the two of you ended up together, married, and living in a home filled with love and happiness. You painted a picture of a beautiful family, mirroring some of your own family values, and traditions. You would spend holidays at the chateau, celebrate your wins as a family, treat each other with respect and consideration. He’d be a loving husband, and you a supportive wife.
Children? Yes, there were children in this picture. But when you thought about yourself, you still couldn’t find the desire to have kids. Maybe you’d change your mind someday; maybe you wouldn’t. The thought of motherhood felt so distant. As much as you adored your nieces and nephews, you couldn’t see yourself stepping into a maternal role. Then again, there is no guarantee that you’d end up marrying Mingyu in the first place. This is all just wishful thinking.
You were pulled out of your daydream by the sound of Mingyu’s phone ringing. Reaching into the compartment, you carefully handed it to him.
“Can you answer it for me?” he asked, keeping his hands on the steering wheel.
The caller ID read ‘Mina,’ accompanied by a photo of the woman you’d seen him meet at a cafe. Your mind raced with questions, but you tapped the answer button and held the phone to his ear.
“Mingyu! Merry Christmas! How are you?” Her voice was bright and melodic.
“I’m well, Mina. Merry Christmas to you too,” Mingyu replied, glancing at you briefly.
“I have some good news!” she exclaimed.
A flicker of hesitation crossed Mingyu’s face. “Uh… Now’s not a good time.”
“Oh, this won’t take long. I just had to share this with you!” she persisted, followed by the sound of shuffling papers. “Welcome to XYZ Corporation!”
The sound of party poppers and Mina’s cheerful laughter filled the car. Mingyu smiled, though he still seemed a bit uneasy.
“That’s amazing. Thank you, Mina,” he said.
“You did great. They’ll email you after the holidays to confirm your employment and discuss your relocation. Just stay tuned for that, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Great. I won’t take up too much of your time then. I’ll see you soon. Happy holidays!”
The car was quiet after that call; painfully quiet. Mingyu is not saying anything, and you’re stuck trying to process the new information you got from that phone call. Even after the car has stopped, neither of you made a move to get off.
“Babe,” Mingyu prompted, reaching for your hand that was sitting on your lap.
“What was that?” was the first thing you asked.
“It was Mina Choi. She works at XYZ.”
“No. Not her,” you insisted, shaking your head. “XYZ Corporation? That’s in Seoul, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“And you’re gonna be working there?”
Mingyu took a deep breath before responding. “Not yet. I got recruited last month so I applied and apparently, I got the job.”
“Oh,” you blurted, feeling lost so you just stared at your lap. “That’s great. XYZ is a big company. I’ve heard of them.”
He smiled contently, sighing. “Yeah, it is. I got a full contract too.”
“So you’re moving back to Korea?”
Mingyu’s silence spoke volumes. You let out a deep sigh, trying to muster a supportive smile, even though your heart felt heavy. “Congratulations, Gyu.”
“Baby—”
You pushed the car door open and walked briskly towards the chateau. You walked faster, almost running, eager to reach your bedroom as soon as possible and hide. But Mingyu was following closely behind, chasing you quietly. You passed by the halls, eyes blurring as your mind raced faster. You passed by your family members gathered at the great hall, their attentions immediately pointing at you the moment you walked in.
“Oh, you’re back! How’s Blair?” Sydney asked but you ignored her, going straight up the staircase without looking back, your heavy and urgent footsteps echoing through the entire hall.
Mingyu answered for you, his voice calm despite the tension. “Blair is doing great, Syd. They’ll be home in the morning.”
Your bedroom was quiet and cozy, and you could see the evidences of the warmth that engulfed this entire space just a few hours ago. Realizing that you’re about to lose it for the second time, your chest tightened with heartache while you ignored the stinging on your eyelids. Mingyu arrived sooner, shutting the door gently behind him.
You spun around to face him, arms crossed over your chest. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Mingyu took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t want to ruin our weekend.”
“Ruin it? Mingyu, you’re leaving for Seoul! How is that not a big deal?” you said, voice trembling with a mix of frustration and sorrow.
“Baby, let’s calm down for a second, alright,” he replied softly, reaching to hold your shoulders.
His gentle squeezes and the comforting look in his eyes steadied your heartbeat. You let him lock you in his embrace as you swallowed the lump in your throat.
“I didn’t hear from them for a while so I didn’t think I’d get the job,” he confessed as he rubbed soothing circles on your back. “I only found out today.”
“But we’ve only just got back together,” you moped, sobbing against his shirt.
“I know. It sucks for me too.”
You couldn’t even begin to describe how much you regret everything. Instead of breaking up, you should have just tried to fix things. You should have just talked about it. That way, you wouldn’t have lost those last few weeks with him. You would have made the most out of your time together. Now, it feels like you’re right back where you started, but worse.
Mingyu lifted your chin, the pain on his face evident upon seeing the tears streaming down your face. "I’m so sorry.”
Even if you wanted him to, Mingyu would never offer to stay. He would never pass up such a big career opportunity, and you wouldn’t have the heart to ask him to give it up. He had studied hard for years and worked tirelessly to deserve the opportunities that are coming his way. Not to mention this will be his chance to return home after being away for so long. You couldn’t take that from him; you wouldn’t be the one to hold him back.
“I’m genuinely happy for you, Mingyu. Really, I am. But this all just feels so… unfair.”
“I know,” he whispered, his own tears finally falling. “I know, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
As you stood there, your mind raced through all the moments you'd shared. The laughter, the intimate conversations, the quiet moments of simply being together. All of it seemed so cruelly short-lived now, overshadowed by the inevitable. Despite your newly rediscovered love, you knew you weren’t prepared to move across the world for someone you weren’t sure you’d end up marrying. The internal conflict weighed heavily on you, a mix of pride for his achievements and sadness for the distance that would soon separate you.
Your thoughts wandered to the future, a future you had briefly allowed yourself to imagine with him. A home filled with love and happiness, the possibility of children, growing old together. It all seemed like a beautiful dream that was slipping away. It’s probably for the best. The picture you tried to paint was blurry anyway, so maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
Silence enveloped the room as you both stood there, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Finally, Mingyu spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you, y/n.”
You looked up at him, your heart breaking all over again. “I love you too, Gyu.”
He took a deep breath, hesitating before gently cupping your face in his hands. “We’ll figure it out. Somehow, we will.”
“I know.”
As you watched Mingyu kiss your forehead, lingering for a moment as if trying to memorize the feel of you, your mind screamed at the unfairness of it all. You wondered how many more times you’d have to say goodbye to someone you loved, and how many more pieces your heart could break into before it was beyond repair.
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On Tuesday morning, you drove out of the chateau after saying goodbye to your family. In the end, you never got to fulfill the deal you made with Mingyu which was to tell everyone the truth before you head back to the city. You felt that it would be unnecessary; you got back together after all.
The drive was filled with a comfortable silence, occasional glances, and small smiles. You slept most of the ride like you always did. Then you spent the next few days with Mingyu, doing everything and anything together. You went on dates to your favorite spots—the little café where you had your first date, the park where you spent lazy afternoons, and all the places you loved to go to that he wouldn’t be able to see for a long time. Each outing was a surge of nostalgia and making new memories.
He also moved out of his apartment early to spend his last week with you, so not only did you see him every day, but you were with him every second of the day. Two days before his departure, you headed up to the chateau so he could say goodbye to everyone properly. Then you held a small party with your closest friends to celebrate a milestone in Mingyu’s career and wish him good luck.
It was needless to say neither of you held yourselves back, especially when it came to your desires. You lost more than a month together, and it would stretch back far longer if one were to consider the time when your relationship was rocky. You had a lot of conversations with Mingyu, opening up to each other more than you’ve ever done in the last four years together. He told you about his aspirations, and you told him about your plans from here on out.
“I really wish we could have more time,” he told you while you lay in your bed, warm and cozy under the sheets. Your bodies were flushed against each other, and you could tell you still smelled like him.
“Me too,” you confessed, nuzzling on his chest like you’re not already glued to him. “I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow.”
Mingyu sighed heavily. “That’s okay. If it’s ours, it will find its way back to us.”
You chuckled, propping yourself so you could frown at him. “That’s just another way of saying: if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“I know,” he grinned and then kissed the tip of your nose.
“You’re silly.”
You spent the past days laughing and making each other happy. Neither of you has shown any sadness or shed a tear for the inevitable, although that did not mean it wasn’t sad. It was painful, but it was a familiar kind of pain, one you had been bracing yourself for since the moment he received that phone call from Mina. Yet, no amount of preparation could fully shield you from the reality of that moment.
There was a raw, undeniable hurt in knowing that someone you loved so deeply was leaving. The countless memories you had built together played like a silent movie in your mind—each scene was a reminder of what you were about to lose. Your laughter, the quiet moments of comfort, the shared dreams, and even the setbacks that made you stronger—all of it now leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth.
“You know, this is the warmest bed I’ve ever known,” you confessed, laying back down.
“Like, literally or?”
You giggled, closing your eyes as you melted into his warmth. “You made it warm.”
“Well, you did give me a bed to lie on. I did my best to make it warm.”
You opened your eyes and scowled, confused. “Like, literally?”
“No,” he laughed, his chest vibrating. And the night stretched on with more of your laughter and conversations.
The morning of Mingyu’s departure arrived too quickly. You both sat in the living room, your head on his chest while he hugged you tightly. Neither of you was speaking, just quietly passing the time in each other’s arms. His suitcase was by the door, and every tick of the clock seemed louder than usual.
“Are you ready to go?” Mingyu asked gently, his eyes searching yours.
You looked away, unable to meet his gaze. “I said I’m not going.”
“I know. I was just trying to see if you changed your mind,” he chimed, his thumb rubbing your shoulder.
You buried your face in his chest and tightened your arms around his torso. “I don’t like it. It’s too sad.”
He hummed in understanding. “I get it. It’s hard for me too.” He stood up and hugged you tightly, his warmth enveloping you. “I’ll call you as soon as I land, okay?”
You nodded against his chest, feeling the tears welling up. “Okay.”
Mingyu kissed the top of your head, holding you for a few more seconds before pulling away. “Take care of yourself,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
“You too,” you replied, watching as he picked up his suitcase and walked out the door. The sound of the door closing felt like a heartbreaking note.
For a few minutes, you stood there in the deafening silence, your heart aching with the weight of the goodbye. The thought of not seeing him off began to gnaw at you, each moment passing making you feel worse. You knew that if you didn’t go, you would regret it forever.
Without giving yourself time to second-guess, you grabbed your phone and ran out the door, not bothering to lock it behind you.
“Taxi!” you yelled at the first taxi you saw on the street, your hand flapping wildly in the air as you beckoned for it. “Airport. And please be quick!”
The traffic was mercifully light, but every red light felt like an eternity. You tapped your fingers nervously on your knee, willing the lights to change faster.
“Late for a flight?” the taxi driver asked but you were too immersed in your thoughts to hear it clearly.
“Sorry?” you asked stupidly.
“No luggage,” he noted. “Chasing a lover, I see.”
You chuckled nervously, eyes darting from the driver to the red light flashing up ahead. “Does it happen a lot?”
“No, not really. It’s rarer than you would expect,” the man replied spiritedly. “And it’s beautiful each time you see one.”
He didn’t chat much, and it was like he could also feel the urgency of your situation because as soon as he could, he sped through the highways and assured you that everything would be alright. When you finally reached the airport, you hastily paid your fare and ran towards the terminal, your heart pounding in your chest.
You scanned the crowds frantically, hoping you weren’t too late. Then, you spotted him at the security checkpoint, just about to hand over his boarding pass.
"Kim Mingyu!" you shouted, your voice echoing in the bustling terminal.
He turned around, eyes wide with surprise. You pushed through the crowd, running up to him while waving your hand. Mingyu left the queue immediately, meeting you halfway. When you reached him, you were breathless, both from the run and the emotions. He didn’t waste any time and pulled you into a tight embrace.
When you parted, you laughed shyly, not looking him in the eyes out of embarrassment.
“Wow, I almost didn’t catch you,” you told him, looking at the queue of people boarding the gate.
Mingyu’s expression was soft and loving as he tucked a few strands of your hair to the back of your ear. “I’m so glad you came.”
“Yeah. I’m so glad I did,” you chuckled, moving closer to hug him again. You stared at his face, trying to memorize it before he leaves and your vision of him becomes limited to a phone’s screen only.
“I thought you don’t like it?” he asked, arms wrapped around your waist and enjoying the way you were staring at him with loving eyes.
“I don’t,” you admitted, rolling your eyes. “But I’ll make an exception for you.”
“Just tell me you’re gonna miss me and be done with it.”
“I’m gonna miss you, Mingyu.”
Mingyu laughed heartily, pleasantly surprised by your admission. “See. How hard was that?”
“Not hard at all because it’s true,” you shrugged.
He cupped your face in his hands, his eyes sparkling with affection. “I’m gonna miss you too, baby. A lot.”
“You better,” you said nonchalantly, masking the yearning in your heart. “I love you, okay?”
He nodded. “I love you.”
The announcement for his flight boarding echoed through the terminal, and Mingyu sighed, knowing it was time to go. He kissed you deeply, pouring all his love and emotion into that one kiss. Then he pulled you into a tight embrace again, neither of you wanting to let go. 
“Take care of yourself,” he murmured into your hair.
“You too,” you replied, tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t help it. When Mingyu saw that, you recognized the slight flicker of hesitation on his face. “Go, before I change my mind and chain you to my bedpost.”
“See you soon, y/n.”
“See you soon, Mingyu.”
With one last kiss, he turned and walked towards the gate, pausing to look back at you one more time. You watched as he disappeared from sight, a mix of sadness and hope filling your heart. You took a deep breath, letting the cool air of the terminal fill your lungs. As you exhaled, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. You can’t control the future, but you can choose how to face it.
Acceptance was not about letting go of the pain but about understanding that it was part of the journey. You allowed yourself to feel every emotion, knowing that it was okay to hurt, okay to miss him, and okay to hope for a future where your paths would cross again.
Days passed in the blink of an eye. You got busy working on the establishment of your interior design office. You haven’t even officially established your office yet but inquiries are already pouring in thanks to your work on Daphne’s boutique. Sure, you had help from your trust fund and your first investor was your father, but why would you shy away from the privilege you were born with when you can flourish with it?
“Ma'am, where do you want this couch to be?” asked the helpers as they hauled a long couch into the office space.
“Over there by that corner, please. And the rest of it will be placed there too,” you instructed just as you were fishing your phone from your bag.
You opened the message from Mingyu and saw that he had sent you a picture. It was of him and an abstract painting hanging on the wall of his Seoul apartment– the one you sent him a few days ago.
MG: Rate my interior design capability. you: 7/10. Nice spot but it’s upside down, Mr Kim. MG: LOL okay will fix it when i get back. i'm at work now. i miss you! xx
A smile crept up your lips as you typed a reply.
you: Miss you! Good luck!
Not everyone has to end up with the greatest love of their life. But you do wish you would end up with yours— that somehow, despite the massive population of the earth, Mingyu is your greatest love; your end game. Maybe he is, or perhaps he’s not. Who knows? Right now, you're both content living your days, doing what makes you happy. You no longer ache for him too much, although you miss him a lot every day. You were pretty convinced that you missed it only because you were used to it. Then again, who knows for sure?
As you set your phone down, you felt hopeful and optimistic. Your story with Mingyu wasn’t over; it was simply evolving. And in that evolution, you found strength, hope, and a future full of possibilities.
[fin]
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amorisastrum · 2 days
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What if the Knox and Chris sub-plot had meaning?
WAIT NO GUYS IM SORRY PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I BEG PLE-
Okay I'm starting this post off by restating my downright hatred for Knox. I do not like his character, what he did was wrong, it's creepy and fucking disgusting. I will however like to talk about how his relationship with Chris could have potentially added to the story.
We all know (at least I hope) that practically everything in this film has meaning. I had spent ages wondering why they thought it was a good idea to include this frankly ridiculous sub plot to the story. And then I thought about it. Like really thought about it. I don't exactly remember what I was doing when I thought about it, but I do know that I had DPS playing in the background. (I initially thought about this on April 7th. It is May 29th when I am typing this up.)
So, here are all my reasons as to why I think they added the Knox and Chris sub-plot!
My first point is about this scene:
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I believe that this line could be a form of foreshadowing. Yes, it is Knox being a dramatic and insufferable prick but it also feels like it could be more. Obviously it isn't Knox who dies in the end, but the idea of not being able to have something leading to suicide feels very important to the story.
Neil is unable to achieve a career in acting because of his father. As well as this, he is being taken away from his family. His real family. By not being able to have this thing that he so desperately wants, he feels like there is no other solution than death.
Knox says that if he can't have Chris he will kill himself, Neil has practically everything he loves stripped away from him- he cannot have it. So... He kills himself. There is a lot of foreshadowing in this film that hints to Neil's death at the end of the film and I do truly believe that this is a part of that foreshadowing.
My next point is that it is used as a form of contrast.
We see that Knox is extremely open about his attraction to Chris... In a multitude of ways, repeatedly throughout the film. Whether his actions that show his attraction are good or not is a different matter (Knox... God how I hate you.)
Arguably this is used as a juxtaposition. Knox (and Chris?) are relatively open about their attraction to one another- while Neil and Todd are very closed off about it. It is never explicitly stated that Neil and Todd like each other in that way, but through subtext it is heavily implied.
Why might this be? Well, considering the film is set in 1959, it could be because homosexuality simply wasn't legal at this point in time. Neil and Todd weren't allowed to be open about liking each other. Being open about it could put them in danger, they had no choice but to stay quiet.
However, as well as a contrast, it poses similarities between Knox and Chris and Neil and Todd. By setting up this contrast, it only brings to the surface some quite significant similarities.
Because let's be real.
How can THIS be a look of true love...
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And THIS not be?
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Or falling in love or admiring one's beauty or WHATEVER you want to call it. That's not the point. The point is, they're not that different.
You can see similarities between Knox's behaviour towards Chris and Todd's behaviour towards Neil (and vice versa). One of the main similarities is, well, how they look at one another. I personally don't see how the way Knox and Chris look at each other is true love but the way Todd and Neil look at one another is just... Them being roommates.
The juxtaposition between the two sets of people (I didn't know how else to say this) just doesn't seem accidental. The constant mention of Knox's feelings and love towards Chris just makes the way Neil and Todd interact more obviously... Romantic? Loving?
Their love is stated to allow the audience to see how similar they are to Todd and Neil, while still sticking to one of the key concepts of the film - conformity. Neil and Todd having to conform to societal standards, not being able to share their love for one another.
Knox's feelings for Chris are explicitly stated, repeatedly, because Todd's and Neil's can't. It makes it more noticeable. Neil and Todd's feelings can't really be stated due to the law. So they do it with Knox instead. The similarities can be seen throughout the film in how Knox treats Chris and how Neil and Todd treat one another.
Because again, how can Knox look at Chris like that and that show that he is in love, but Neil look at Todd like that and that just be... Them being friends?
The answer is, it can't. Not really.
Although Knox is a lot more explicit with his feelings towards Chris than the other two are with one another, the feelings they have are the same. Whether it is portrayed in the same way or not, it's love.
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nutluvs · 1 day
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not sure if your requests are still open but I'd devour your take on how rdr characters would react to you giving them a hot lunch while they are hunting. Like they are sitting at the top of the hill with a hunting bow in their hands and you sneak up to them, handing them a hot meal prepared for them.
preferred characters are javier, sean and kieran but you can add your favourites as well, I will gladly read your take on that about any character! :)
also don't feel pressured if you don't feel like writing it! much love anyways, have a nice day :))
- 🦎
hot n' ready 🍰 various rdr2 characters x gn! reader
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!! divider by animatedglittergraphics-n-more ♡ !! hi sweetheart ! i hope you're doing amazing today ! ♡ this is my favorite request i've gotten in ages ! it's so cute. thank you so much for sending it in. ♡ i'm so so sorry it took me so long to write, i've had like.. 0 motivation to write lately, and this is just to get back into it. i'm also very sorry if this sucks and if i didn't portray any of your favorites right, i'm only really used to writing a few characters. synopsis:bringing your dearest some good lunch you made just for him while he's out hunting. pairings (in order): ♡ charles smith ♡ arthur morgan ♡ javier escuella ♡ eagle flies ♡ sean macguire ♡ kieran duffy ♡ john marston ♡ the boy warnings: none, this is just fluff !! mentions: @pursuedbyamemoryy @deaddoedonoteat
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charles smith:
he didn't expect it. at all.
although, that doesn't mean he didn't appreciate it.
when you crept up to him, his focus was entirely on the doe, whose head was tipped down to nibble at the grass beneath her hooves.
as soon as you prodded at him with the tip of your finger, he jolted and made a discontented, uncomfortable sound.
he was quick to whip around to see who it was, gripping his bow a little tighter, but when he realized it was you he visibly relaxed almost instantly.
he greets you and asks you what you have in your hands, disregarding the doe immediately. you were more important.
"a warm lunch, just for you. i know pearson's meals aren't so satisfying to eat, especially since they lack seasoning and any variation, so i made something of my own. i also made myself something, that way, we could have some lunch together.
when you say that, he feels his face go warm.
he has to clear his throat before attempting to tell you that you didn't have to do this for him and that he didn't want to be a waste of time, but you were quicker, promising him that he deserved a break from low quality food and that he deserved something nice.
so, now understanding you were absolutely sure, he takes his warm lunch from your hands with a smile, and you eat together underneath the shade of a tree, sharing conversation and warm, loving smiles.
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arthur morgan:
he was a bit frustrated.
he had tried to get his hands on this damn buck for so long, but every time he'd try and shoot, the thing would get spooked off by quickly passersby.
so now, here he was, sat atop a hill, grumbling to himself about how irritating the prey was, fidgeting with an arrow and trying to calm himself down.
he had heard hoofbeats on the grass and quickly turned to see who it was, and as soon as he saw your face, all of his anger was gone. he put the arrow he held down onto the grass with his bow, and watched you approach. he noticed you had something in your hands.
"hey, darlin'. what's that you got in your hands?" he asks, watching you sit down beside him with a bit of a smile present on your features.
"some lunch for you. made it myself." you say, smiling bigger. "i figured you'd like something that isn't as bad as pearson's cooking... so i made that something."
arthur was a bit shocked, taking it from your hands when you held it out to him. he looked from the box up to you, unsure. "i don't deserve this, darlin', it's.. you didn't have to."
"i wanted to."
this makes his face go red, because he wouldn't really figure someone would want to do something like this for him. but it made him happy, and he really enjoyed your cooking. who knew you were so good?
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javier escuella:
he's more of a fishing guy, so that might make it a little harder for you to reach him, but that doesn't deter you.
he went down to the dakota river to do some fishing, and he asked you to tag along, but you initially said no. he was a little sad about that.
however, when he was in the middle of wrapping a smallmouth bass so he could return it to camp, you prodded at his shoulder, causing him to yelp and drop the fish.
you apologized quickly, but he was quick to put the apology down. he wasn't mad at you, he could never be. plus, he insisted he should've been more aware of his surroundings.
after that, you handed him the lunch you made.
"querida, what's this?" he asks, inspecting it closely, as if unsure. it wasn't like you'd give him something that'd kill him, so he stopped his looking.
"a lunch i made for you, since pearson's cooking tastes like shit."
"it has a few of the meals you told me your mother used to make you, and i wanted to sorta give you some sense of home. i hope my cooking is as good as hers, and that i captured the flavors right."
his heart warms, and he feels a bit of a hitch in his breath. you took the time out of your day to make him one of the dishes from home? oh, you were just the sweetest.
he holds the lunch carefully as he brings you into a hug and kisses your cheek, thanking you before quickly sitting down to enjoy what you picked to make him.
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eagle flies:
today's hunt had been very successful, and he was proud of that.
he had managed to shoot down some rabbits, and he wanted to finish off a deer as well. he found it most refreshing when he did this.
when you came over the hill, he was poised to shoot, rough fingertips pulling back on the string of his bow.
you decided to stay quiet, watching him release the string and puncture the unaware doe's neck. you smiled when he released a pleased sigh, standing to go collect the arrow and the fresh kill.
"that was a good one," you say, spotting him turn and smile right back at you. "thank you." he replies. he'd known you were there, but he had already gotten the opportunity for a perfect shot, so he didn't greet you despite how bad he'd wanted to.
you watched him pluck the arrow from the carcass and hoist it over his shoulder, bringing it back to his horse before helping you down from yours.
"so, why'd you come?"
"made you something." you say, handing him a small box lunch. "you deserve a treat for all of the hard work you've been doing lately. i know it's the least i could do for such hard work, but i was in a rush."
eagle flies smiles at the gift, his heart fluttering. "thank you, my love. i appreciate this a lot. i've always liked your cooking." he says, leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to your temple, before sitting down to eat the meal you made specially for him.
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sean macguire:
he didn't know why he came on this hunting trip. hunting irked him.
he wasn't even all that good at focusing on the prey, let alone shoot it in a vital spot to kill it. he wouldn't admit that, nor the fact that he'd rather be doing something more entertaining.
he just about tossed away the bow, but you twined your arms around him in a hug and gazed up at him, a smile on your lips.
"hi honey." you say gently, "i brought you something to eat. hunting isn't your forte, and i know you like my cooking. maybe it'll calm you down."
sean stared at you for a moment, his expression flat before it grew a bit embarrassed, "i can hunt just fine!" he snapped, and you laughed. "i saw the anger in your face, honey, you hate it. here."
you pushed the box meal into his hands, and he wasn't going to deny this. as you said, he loved your cooking. he'd never say otherwise... even if he didn't like the flavor of something, he was the biggest fan of your meals and would eat up the whole plate.
he was quick to slump down underneath a tree with you, blabbering on about his day with you leaning against his shoulder. he didn't have any manners when eating, but that was fine. at least he was back to being happy.
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kieran duffy:
he prefers being back at camp with the horses, let's just say that.
he didn't like the idea of hurting animals, preferring to take care of them. so, he purposefully made this a bad hunt.
he didn't even know why they asked him of all gang members to go out and hunt... although, he'd still try. he wanted them to trust him at least a little bit more. he wasn't just some o'driscoll..
he sat crouched behind a bush, expression a bit worried as he aimed the bow he borrowed at an unaware rabbit.
when he let go of the string, he jolted back, the squeaky, high-pitched sound from a pained bunny not meeting his ears. only the sound of panicked scuttling and the small thud of an arrow.
"oh..." he sighed, a bit displeased with himself. although, he sorta preferred that he didn't kill something so innocent.
"kieran?"
the sound of your voice caused him to jolt once again, and he looked up at you. "o-oh, hey, darlin'.. um, i uh.."
"i see you haven't caught yourself anything."
"nope.." he mumbled, gaze straying elsewhere. he listened to your soft laughter as you sat down beside him. "that's okay," you promised, earning his eyes on you again, "don't worry. i'll catch something later. anyway, i brought you something."
when you handed him a box, he felt the warmth seep into his palms. he looked at it, then at you. "what's this?"
"some lunch. i made it specially for you, you deserve a break from all that harassment they give you. even though it's not much, i thought you might like it."
kieran blushed at this, putting the box on his lap and managing a small-voiced "thank you."
you made him feel so dizzy, so stupid in love. but he liked that. he liked it a lot.
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john marston:
he was pretty self confident in today's hunt.
he'd managed a few kills, a deer and some birds. nothing too big. but he was still pretty proud. and with this confidence, he felt he'd be good with another kill.
however, as soon as he plucked an arrow to shoot with, he noticed you coming up the hill. he was quick to smile all dumb, shoving his bow and arrow away.
when you came over the hill, you halted your horse, looking to him as he made his way over to you and pulled you from your horse.
you noticed quickly that he was in a good mood, as he began to swing you around when you were in his arms. "there's my angel! how are you doing?" he asks, nuzzling you as he sat you down, listening to your giggles.
"great! i don't think i have to ask you how you are..." you tease, before stepping slightly back from him. "made you a little something, by the way.
this caught his attention, and he raised a brow, "what's that?" "made you a lunch, with your favorites." you said as you handed him the lunch. "i figured you'd like it. you've told me about two million times that my cooking's your favorite." holy shit, was this day going good. john was through the roof now.
john grinned like the idiot he was and took the box from you. "thanks, my angel. always did like your cooking, you do it real good. i always wonder who taught you." he admits, wrapping you up in his arms again, careful not to spill what he has in his hands. you giggled, pressing a chaste kiss to his jaw, "i try, and i'm glad my hard work is met with a good product."
"mmmhm. now, wanna sit down and share?"
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the boy:
he wasn't usually the type to hunt.
however, today, he went out hunting, and it wasn't going so good. he ended up pouting on the forest floor, leaning against a tree.
"honey?" you call out, which distracts him from his moping. he looks like he lightened up a bit, but not as much as you hoped. you sighed when he looked back to his hands.
"not much of a result, huh, love?" you ask, dismounting your horse and approaching him. you squatted down beside him, putting a hand on his cheek and tipping his head up. he grunted a "no."
"huntin's stupid. i'm the best 'round here, but these damn animals.." he huffed. you only smiled softly, leaning in close to him and pressing a kiss to his temple. "will this cheer you up?" you ask, putting a small box in his hands.
he looked at you, confused, blue eyes searching your face and waiting for an explanation.
"it's lunch i made for you. i know you're not the biggest fan of hunting, so i decided i'd make you a lunch to cheer you up... and before you ask if there's any watermelon, yes, i put watermelon in it."
he grinned dumbly, his face growing warm and dusting with a rosy color, leaning in and giving you a quick peck on the nose. "thanks, i always did like your cooking... makes me feel better 'bout this."
"oh, i know. you're blushing all silly."
"i ain't!"
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here's this! i hope this suffices for my first post in 8 centuries. i hope you enjoyed, have a nice day! love you guys ♡♡♡♡
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iichaeyj · 9 hours
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TOMORROW'S ESCAPE
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feeling good
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you walk into the practice room, looking around curiously. from what you could remember, you've only been here once in the past when you confessed to jay. digging up that memory sent shivers down your spine.
"hey, you're here," a voice comes from the corner of the room.
sunghoon nods at you in acknowledgment, setting down his guitar as he stands up. he's wearing his school uniform, his nametag clearly spelling out "Sunghoon Park" in bold black letters. he looked a bit different from the older version of him, something you hadn't considerably noticed last time when you were running at him.
his hair wasn't styled up with gel but was messy and ruffled. he was still tall, but his demeanor seemed different by the way he was standing in front of you. he looked more friendly and approachable. and you'd assume his smile would also be the same, but you couldn't really tell by the way he was looking at you like he was trying to figure you out.
"you came to apologize, right?" sunghoon asks you, crossing his arms as he sits in the sofa chair in the corner.
"yeah, i just wanted to say i'm sorry for what happened yesterday," you mumble sheepishly as you stand awkwardly near the doorway.
"you don't have to stand there, you know," he says, staring at you weirdly. "unless what i said yesterday is true and you plan on beating me up," he adds, smiling slightly. now that you've begun speaking to him like a normal person, you can see him opening up slightly.
nodding quickly at his words, you hurriedly rush over to where he is and stand in front of him. he looks up at you from his seat, looking over you curiously. if anybody walked in at this moment, it would look like you're being scolded.
"look, i apologize to you about what happened yesterday, but i really do have a reason for all of this," you say with a sigh.
sunghoon looks at you curiously, nodding his head for you to continue.
you take a moment to think. you couldn't seriously tell him you're from the future, nor could you tell him directly that he shouldn't become an idol for reasons you couldn't explain. you needed to convince him somehow.
"i'm actually a psychic of sorts," you blurt out suddenly, stiffening when you realize what you just said.
sunghoon stares at you, clearly unconvinced. "you're what?" he questions.
"well, to be more specific, i actually had this crazy dream," you tell him quickly, trying to convince him somehow. no matter how crazy you might sound, saving his life was more important in your mind. "i had this dream where you ended up dying," you tell him.
"me? dying? you don't even know who i am, why am i showing up in your dreams?" sunghoon sighs out, clearly confused by you.
"i'm being serious," you tell him. "look, i know this may sound hard to believe, but i'm not joking around. i had this scary dream where you ended up dead because of your choice to be a singer. i understand it might not sound believable, but i really need you to trust me," you say quickly, feeling your heart ache as you recall the moment you heard of his death. to see people mourning somebody who was just alive moments ago, somebody who you should've seen moments later, it hurt you in unimaginable ways. however, it seemed as though sunghoon couldn't relate nor understand.
"are you kidding?" sunghoon sighs out, standing up abruptly. he stares down at you with a frown on his face, clearly unhappy with your words. "you can't just come in here and tell me to stop pursuing my passions because i might die. you do realize how crazy you sound, right?" he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief.
you stay silent, unsure of what to do when you can hear the anger in his voice.
"it's unreasonable for you to tell me, a complete stranger, to stop doing what they love because of some dream. i hope you realize how crazy you sound," sunghoon tells you, his voice cold and devoid of emotion. "i'm leaving now, and don't bring up that dream thing to me ever again," he tells you before leaving the room.
as he leaves you behind in the practice room, you feel yourself struggling to contain your emotions. while his harsh words may have slightly deterred you, and frankly hurt the fangirl inside of you a little bit, it was the realization that you were unable to change his mind that made you struggle to accept his words. no matter how you looked at it, you were put in the past to save sunghoon, and seeing him act so cold to you made you realize how difficult this situation really was.
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to be added to my taglist, please reply to the masterlist or send a message to my inbox <3
A/N: everything is there for a reason!
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faerunsbest · 3 days
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Rolan with a partner who is unreasonably patient. Almost passive to prevent arguments.
They love him very much and do their best not to be the cause of any further stress for him. So when he forgets things like cleaning his part of things after work, they just pick up his slack. It's so frequent and they never bring it up as a problem so he isn't aware of what he was doing.
It isn't until he finds himself telling his students to be sure to clean up after themselves that it clicks. In the middle of class ,mid rant he freezes, quiet and focused staring off into space for a solid minute. When he zones back in he just shouts at his class
"Self paced reading day, stay on task!"
Then bolts out the door, leaving them all confused.
Rolan bolts home and sees his love on their hands and knees, reaching under a book shelf, trying to grab something that rolled away. They look up at him surprised to see him in the middle of the day.
As he looks around it occurred to him that they've been taking of all the towers common spaces by themself. Even going as fat as to clean his office and study.
This is probably why they're always passed out asleep when he gets to bed. If he was honest, he was getting a little annoyed at the lack of attention in the bedroom for a while.
Guilt sunk deep as he almost shouted.
"I'm so sorry!"
They're baffled at him as he looks around at all the cleaning supplies around, his face suddenly riddled with upset.
"What's going on? Is something why are you home so early?"
Rolan hurries over to pull them up off the floor and hug them tight. They're so caught off guard and not used to the attention anymore, he can feel their heartbeat racing against him.
"Rolan you're scaring me what's going on?!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just thinking today and I realized I haven't been doing anything at all here to help. It's just been you by yourself, you must be so tired."
While he's talking, he won't let go of them. Rolan randomly drops kisses over their face while he speaks
"I'm supposed to help and do my part, you can tell me."
The way his heart breaks at their response, the silly bright laugh as they
"Oh, it's no trouble. i know you're busy. Your work is more important than me."
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queenothegeeks · 10 hours
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Creator with coping mechanisms
part 2! Part one can be found here (pls let me know if the link doesn’t work I’m doing this on my phone and I’m d y i n g)
Even the creator gets stressed, so, how do you relax?
A creator who cooks or bakes to deal with stress
After a very stressful day of meeting important dignitaries and public figures, you felt like settling down, reading a recipe or making something from memory to remind you of home. Maybe you have music playing in your head or maybe it’s just empty, feeling comfortable doing something you love
Maybe giving the food you make to other characters in the game, or you hand them out to random people, like kids from the house of the hearth.  Or maybe you just sit and eat it all for yourself (which, is valid, bc tbh I don’t want anyone else eating my food)  
Hey (insert character)! I made too much of this and I was wondering if you wanted some! I hope you like it!
Hey Timme, I'm really sorry for scaring away all the birds, but I made an extra loaf of bread for you to feed them with, is that okay? 
Creator who writes stories or fanfiction as a coping mechanism (me) 
Finding it hard to sit down and write, even though you really want to. Maybe it's the environment or the people that you are with, but once you get into the zone, the world just disappears. 
Maybe you write the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed, with found family and just silly moments with your characters (oc or not), or perhaps you write the saddest things known to god that make even the most heartless of characters cry
“Are you…are you crying”
(sniff, sniff) NO! Maybe…” 
“Are you okay? Why are you crying”
“I stole-borrowed your notebook because I was worried about you (they wanted more intel or smt idk) and I started reading it. And it's really sad WHY ARE YOU WRITING SUCH SAD STUFF?”
“WHY ARE YOU READING MY NOTEBOOK!?” 
A creator who embroiders to relax (don't @ me pls i've never embroidered) 
You didn't tell anyone about it, knowing that someone would try to convince you to make business out of it (probs Dori) but after you had to ask for a few bandages after you poked your hand on your needle, the cat was out of the bag. 
“But we could sell it for a ton! We could even send a few things to museums! …if you want ig”. 
“Thanks, I'm good…”
“Why not!?”
(Don't threaten them with needle Dont threaten them with needle Don’t threaten them with needle-)
Or if you get lucky, maybe they just ask you to make them something instead of making a glorified pyramid scheme. 
“Can you make something for me?”
“You should work with Chiori!”
“Can you embroider me!?”
… Yeah maybe this isn't much better.
Chaos demon! (Arson with klee 2.0!)
“Are they okay..?”
“Let them have this”
“Sir, their grace is setting everything on fire”
“Its fine”
Let me know if I missed any habits in the comments! Remember, if you see any spelling mistakes, no you didn’t.
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rvzcvx · 13 hours
Note
I see your post we're you bored and idk what to write so another Idea :
Can you do Tom x(dom) m! Reader or non-gendered is not important (I prefer x m! Reader because I'm a guy obviously )During the 14th of July and we arrive in the evening at the time of the fireworks and Tom is really scared about firework (IDK LMAO, no judgment.) and reader tries to reassure him Fluff and maybe bonus where reader and Tom had sex because Tom can't calm down! As you wish
BYEE,LOVE YOU 💋
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ANXIETY
pairing: tom kaulitz x male reader
warnings: smut
a/n: idk if thats what you meant, but i hope youre gonna like it!! its kinda long but I hope it will be a good to read!! you can send me more requests if you want me to write something
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As the sun dipped below the horizon, we were walking through the crowded streets of Paris, my heart racing in anticipation of the evening ahead. Tom and I had planned this trip months ago, carefully timing our visit to make it in time with bastille day. But as we made our way towards the seine, where the crowd had gathered, Tom's grip on my hand tightened, and I could sense his growing unease.
We arrived at a place near the eiffel tower. People were everywhere, their excitement palpable. Tom's eyes darted around nervously, his usual confident demeanor replaced by an nervous tension. I squeezed his hand gently, hoping to provide some reassurance.
"You okay?" I asked, my voice low enough to be lost in the crowd. Tom forced a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed. I forgot how crowded it gets here."
I knew it was more than the crowd. Tom had never been comfortable around fireworks. The loud, unexpected bursts and the lingering booms always seemed to unsettle him. It was something he rarely admitted, but tonight, as the first rocket flew into the sky, I saw him flinch.
"It's gonna be fine" I whispered, pulling him closer. "We'll stay back here, away from the thick of it."
He nodded, but his body remained tense. The fireworks began in earnest, vibrant explosions of color and light that painted the night sky. Each burst was met with oohs and aahs from the crowd, but Tom's reaction was a stark contrast. His jaw clenched tighter with each boom, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to block out the noise.
"Hey" I said softly, turning to face him and gently cupping his face in my hands. "Look at me, not at the fireworks." Tom's eyes fluttered open, meeting mine. "I'm trying" he muttered, his voice strained.
"Focus on my voice, on my touch." I ran my thumb soothingly over his cheek. "You’re safe. We’re safe."
He took a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he concentrated on me. "Thanks" he said, his voice barely audible over the people around us.
I kept talking, sharing random stories and memories, anything to distract him from the noise. Gradually, his breathing steadied, and some of the tension got off him. As the grand finale approached, the fireworks intensified, the sky a chaotic symphony of light and sound. Tom winced, but he didn't look away from me.
When the last firework faded, I could see the relief on his face. "Let's get out of here" I suggested, threading my fingers through his.
We walked back to our hotel, the cool night air a welcome change from the crowded riverbank. Tom was quieter than usual, his earlier anxiety still lingering. Once we were inside our room, I closed the door behind us and turned to him.
"Sorry I wasn't much fun tonigh" he said, flopping onto the couch. "Don't apologize" I replied, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his leg. "I knew fireworks weren't your thing. I just wanted to be with you."
He gave me a grateful look. "You always know how to make me feel better."
I leaned in and kissed him gently, letting my lips linger on his. He responded eagerly, his hands finding their way to my waist, pulling me closer. The kiss deepened, and for a moment, all the stress and tension melted away.
"I don't know what I'd do without you" Tom murmured against my lips. "You don't have to find out" I whispered back. "I'm not going anywhere."
We stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, the world outside forgotten. Eventually, Tom pulled away slightly, his eyes searching mine. "Can we just stay here tonight? Just us?"
"Of course" I said, brushing his thick dreads from his face. "We can do whatever you want."
He smiled, a real smile this time, and pulled me down onto the bed with him. We lay there, holding each other, the faint sounds of the city outside a distant hum. Tom's breathing slowed, his body relaxing completely for the first time that evening.
"I love you" he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. "I love you too" I replied, kissing his forehead.
We lay there in comfortable silence, enjoying the peace of the moment. The anxiety from earlier seemed like a distant memory now, replaced by a deep sense of contentment. Tom's hand found mine, our fingers intertwining as we simply enjoyed being together.
After a while, I felt Tom's lips on my neck, his breath warm against my skin. "You make everything better" he murmured, his voice low and husky.
I shivered at his touch, my body responding instinctively. "I try" I said with a smile, turning to capture his lips with mine.
We kissed slowly, savoring each moment, the tension from earlier completely forgotten. Our hands roamed over each other, exploring familiar territory with renewed intensity. Tom's touch was both soothing and electrifying, a combination that never failed to drive me wild.
As things heated up, I felt the urgent need to be even closer to him. We moved together in perfect sync, our bodies responding to each other's every move. The connection between us was intense, fueled by the events of the evening and the deep love we shared.
Eventually, we paused, breathless and flushed, our foreheads pressed together. "Let's take this to the bedroom" Tom suggested, his eyes dark with desire.
I nodded, my heart racing in anticipation. We stood up, still wrapped around each other, and made our way to the bedroom. I pushed open the bedroom door, my heart racing with anticipation.
I laid him gently on the bed, placing my weight on his body. "You're so beautiful" I murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips. He responded eagerly, his arms winding around my neck as he deepened the kiss.
I could feel the heat radiating off his body, and I knew that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I broke the kiss, my lips trailing down his jaw and neck, peppering him with kisses as I went. He tilted his head back, giving me better access, and I couldn't help but grin at his eagerness. "You like that?" I asked, my breath hot against his skin.
"Yes" he moaned, his voice ragged with desire. "Don't stop."
I continued my assault on his neck, my hands roaming over his chest and stomach, feeling the muscles tense and flex beneath my fingertips. I could feel his cock, hard and throbbing, pressed against my thigh, and I knew that it was time to take things to the next level.
I pulled back, my eyes meeting his, and I saw the hunger and need in them. I reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, exposing his toned, muscular chest. I couldn't help but let out a low whistle as I took in the sight of him.
"Fuck, you're so hot" I said, my voice filled with awe.
He blushed at the compliment, but I could see the pleasure in his eyes. I leaned down, capturing one of his nipples in my mouth and sucking hard. He cried out, his back arching off the bed as I teased and tormented him with my tongue and teeth.
I moved my attention to his other nipple, giving it the same treatment, and he moaned and writhed beneath me. I could feel his cock leaking precum, and I knew that he was just as turned on as I was.
I stood up, my eyes never leaving his, and stripped off my own clothes. He watched me, his eyes dark with desire, as I revealed my own hard, throbbing cock. I climbed onto the bed, positioning myself between his legs, and I leaned down to capture his lips in another searing kiss.
I reached down, wrapping my hand around both of our cocks, and I began to stroke them together. He moaned into my mouth, his hips bucking up to meet my movements. I broke the kiss, my lips trailing down his chest and stomach as I made my way to his cock.
I wrapped my lips around the head, swirling my tongue around it, and he cried out, his hands fisting in my hair as he held me in place. I took him deeper into my mouth, my throat working as I swallowed him down.
He was moaning and thrashing beneath me, his hips bucking up as I sucked and licked at his cock. I could feel my own orgasm building, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold back much longer.
I pulled off his cock with a pop, my lips wet and swollen from his abuse. I looked up at him, my eyes filled with lust and desire, and I saw the same need reflected back at me in his gaze.
"I need you inside me" he gasped, his voice desperate.
I nodded, reaching for the lube and condom that I had stashed in the bedside table. I quickly sheathed myself and slicked up my cock, my eyes never leaving his.
I positioned myself at his entrance, my cock throbbing with need. I looked up at him, seeking his permission, and he nodded, his eyes filled with trust and desire.
I pushed inside him, my cock sliding in easily, and he cried out, his hands reaching up to grip my shoulders as I filled him up. I began to move, my hips pistoning as I drove into him again and again.
He was moaning and writhing beneath me, his cock hard and leaking as I fucked him. I leaned down, capturing his lips in another kiss as I continued to thrust into him.
"You feel so good" I murmured, breaking the kiss. "So tight and hot."
"Yes" he moaned, his hips meeting my thrusts. "Harder, m/n. Please."
I increased my pace, my hips moving faster and faster as I drove into him. I could feel my orgasm building, my balls drawing up tight against my body.
"I'm close" I gasped, my breath coming in short, sharp pants. "Me too" he moaned, his nails digging into my shoulders.
I reached down, wrapping my hand around his cock, and I began to stroke him in time with my thrusts. He cried out, his back arching off the bed as he came, his cum spurting out in hot, sticky ropes.
The sight of him coming, of his body trembling and writhing beneath me, was enough to send me over the edge. I groaned, my cock twitching as I came, filling the condom with my hot, sticky load.
I collapsed on top of him, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I took off the used condom and threw it somewhere, wrapping my arms around him too.
"I love you Tom" I said, resting my head in the crook of his neck. "I love you too" I heard him say and I smiled, feeling myself fall asleep after a while.
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Text
Now that I can finally sit down and take 10 minutes to write this post--
Earlier today, we finally dived into the littlescourse that's starting up again. I fucking despite littles discourse, but it's so important to talk about, especially since there are a lot of common misconceptions. So, I'm going to get my thoughts out under a cut.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that child parts and littles are not the same thing. Child parts are parts who are stuck in that trauma; stuck in that moment. They often split when you're that age yourself, and they still feel that age entirely.
We only loosely have a child part, and we don't indicate which of our 14 alters is that part.
Then we have littles. Little is a term used by the community to denote... a lot of things, honestly -- it has a fairly loose definition from what I've seen! The way I use it for my system is "Part that identifies as a child in spirit." That is because none of my parts are literally children; all of them can acknowledge we are 26, going on 27, and can accurately remember things. Only one part gets fuzzy on that, and that would be said child part.
Our littles are adults. Because I am an adult.
Now, to address some of what was said in the post from earlier (which I will not be linking, as I genuinely don't want to bother OP with this, but it's all things I feel need said):
something I HATE about syscords is that they have sections specifically for littles. they are CHILDREN. Why are you letting them have a place online?
I hate littles channels in syscords too, because often, my littles who curse, discuss severe trauma, and like to vent about adult matters are stuck with child parts. If your post is discussing child parts, then... I can understand some of your reservations, honestly! But I can also say, to each system their own -- maybe that system knows something I don't about how safe their child parts can be. I know I can let my child part talk in syscords without it being harmful for her, though we do keep a close eye.
I'm sorry, but caretakers in your system are there for your littles.
None of my caretakers look after my littles because our system only has three caretakers -- and two of them are our littles. We have Sie and LED, who are our emotional caretakers. The other caretaker is... Sie, but grown up -- Sierra. By your logic, my littles should be caretaking themselves! Which. They do.
Which, skipping around a bit, leads me to this point you made:
The fact that you let your littles participate in adult actions and they are "mature enough" when littles are there to heal your inner child that you LOST due to trauma makes me SO disturbed.
...
My littles aren't here to "heal the inner child that I lose due to trauma."
Straight up, that is not their job.
Sie's job is to help us understand that we can still have fun as an adult. She's there to remind us that childhood is how we define it, not how our parents did. She isn't there to 'heal our inner child' -- she's there to heal our inner adults.
LED's job is to regulate our emotions. We struggle with our distress, our fear, our shame. When it gets too much, he helps us to see the positive light in the world again. His job is also to process trauma and come to terms with what we've gone through in a healthy manner; learning how to grow up is his job.
And Gazi, her job is specifically related to Curtis's. Yknow. The sexual alter we have who we split to deal with our internalized homophobia and transphobia. Gazi, who is there to help him process his feelings. To help us all process our feelings, as we start to integrate more. She's newer, so it's hard for us to understand her role, but nowhere there do I feel "healing our inner child" fits.
Your system is not applicable to everyone. For instance, my system does not have an "inner child" who needs healed in that way, and even if we consider our one child part to need healing -- it wouldn't be their job!
Our mum (an adult, like you.) is a system and one of her littles isn't allowed to consent or have adult actions, you know why? BECAUSE THAT LITTLE IS A CHILD!!
Cool! My littles aren't like that. That was my point in my post.
Every system is different and I won't judge you for what you do. But the fact you openly say this shit on the internet as a GROWN ADULT makes me lose faith in the future for everyone.
This sounds a hell of a lot like judging me for what I do.
For most systems the littles chat is there for a reason and that's to protect them, especially if that system is a minor. Which in syscords, is mostly minors.
Never said they're inherently bad; I just said I wish more syscords allowed people to choose for themselves if their littles need to isolate in those channels.
As I MINOR (let me say it again.) MINOR with littles, for some systems I get why littles can't stay in main chat in syscords, it's for safety.
Cool! I genuinely don't know why people in syscourse are so insistent on reminding everyone that they're minors. It's okay to be a kid. I didn't describe anything graphic in my post. I simply mentioned "mature acts."
Obviously, as a 16 year old... You shouldn't be doing those mature acts! But I would hope that, by 16, you can understand that... adults... do mature things sometimes? And can find positivity, joy, and yes, healing through those mature things. I had hope that you were mature enough, yourself, to be able to acknowledge that adults do things you don't do.
Your system will be different you're an ADULT. but us, we're a MINOR, there's still things that we don't even understand and we're still going through my own traumas. You're able to recognise basic things without being disturbed and out right saying your littles can do outrageous shit like this.
You being a minor once again does not negate the ability to understand "Huh, maybe that person's experiences will be okay once I'm older."
I can recognize you're a minor and going through your own traumas. I never once said you need to let your littles completely loose to do whatever they want -- in fact, I strongly advise against it, especially if you're still in an active trauma situation. But. Minors can recognize basic things "without being disturbed" as well. That's not something I gained from being an adult. I knew how to do that at age 15 at least.
The reason the post even exists is to state our opinion and talk into the void about issues that either we have or others do. Not for you to compare your system to everyone else's. Respectfully.
I will be honest, I don't feel very respected, with my actions which have been incredibly healing for my parts being called outrageous, disturbing, and something to lose faith over. I'm really sorry that your post -- publicly put into the DID tags with the word "thoughts?" at the end of the post -- wasn't looking for other system input. I'm also really sorry that you're going to get a LOT more people explaining their thoughts on this, when it seems like the conversation is unwanted.
The fact is, your experiences are not just not universal -- they are also fairly uncommon. Many, many, many systems have found healing through letting their littles grow up and be mature. Whatever that may look like for them.
And then this last bit...
(I'm not pressed about this, but the way you've replied makes me feel physically ill from someone who has been taken advantage of not only as a child, but also has had to see our littles go out of their way to not be around a caretaker because they wanna talk to people and then hurt, harassed and exposed to disgusting content online because people are CREEPS. For our system, we CANNOT let littles into online spaces. Especially around strangers. Our littles have the mindset of a 16 year old. so, oh so sorry to stay it's different for minors.)
You've made a lot of bold assumptions here, entirely based on your own experiences once again.
I am a system who was taken advantage of as a child. I've also had my littles -- back when they were more akin to child parts -- go out of their way to not be around a caretaker. I've had my littles get hurt in the past, exposed to disgusting content, and participate in acts they could not, at the time, consent to. We were severely hurt by these actions.
I also changed. They changed. And we grew.
There is hope for the future, you know that, right? Again, I know you're 16, but I really hope you know that there will come a time when those child parts of you may grow up, or become part of you in their own right. There may come a time in your future when you will need to navigate romance and intimacy and "mature things" in regards to your littles. I don't say this to scare you, but to help you understand that there can be growth and change.
You don't need to make that leap right now -- again, please fucking don't, you are a LITERAL MINOR -- but understand that healing can come in many ways.
I compared my system in your post to help you understand the perspective of others who might be healing in ways other than yours, or even just the perspective of others who aren't like you at all. Not to say all systems have to be like mine, or that you HAVE to let your littles do things like what mine do. I'm not sure how many times I could've added, "This definitely isn’t the case for every system" like I did in the post, but... Yeah. Apparently I didn't make that clear enough.
Things are different for minors, yet. Thankfully, you've only got two more years left before maybe, just maybe, it might be time to start thinking about what your life may be like as an adult, and what healing may come in your future one day.
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origami-butterfly · 23 days
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Ok but sometimes the most infuriating political stance a person can have is point blank refusing to discuss social issues with you when you bring it up because they "don't want to get political". Don't open the tags unless you want to read a rant
#my random stuff#vaguepost#vent post#like... babes. how do i explain EVERY DAMN THING YOU DO can be considered political by some metric#YES that includes your silence#also the fact that they will happily talk about being a socialist and fuck the tories and everything#but then if i ever want to discuss something that doesn't directly affect them they will literally just shut me down#like i know our normal friendship consists of sunshine and rainbows and silliness#but I'd fucking appreciate if you didn't ruin that friendship by refusing to agree with me about things that should be a no brainer#I can't even discuss fucking JK ROWLING with them!! because their sibling loves harry potter and they always say “it's just a kids series”#and “let them have their nostalgia”#OH I'M SORRY.#DOES YOUR FUCKING NOSTALGIA MEAN MORE TO YOU THAN MY LITERAL SURVIVAL AND HEALTH???#like. I'm sorry but there's more important things here#babygirl i don't know how to explain to you#that if a political party said they were going to kill all lefties people BUT give all right handed people unlimited access to horror films#you would vote for them wouldn't you?#even though I'm left handed you'd say “of course i support left handedness how can you even question that”#<- shit metaphor. i know.#but i could point out “yeah they want to kill me” and they'd say “I just don't know enough about it to discuss this; sorry”#like??? if you don't know enough#maybe. fucking?? educate yourself??? by having discussions about it???#PLEASE pull your head out the sand sweetie#saying you care is just empty fucking words#i shouldn't be saying this; they're one of my oldest friends but GOD.#if you can't even agree with me about jkr being a fucking holocaust denier we're going to keep having problems
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didderd · 2 months
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Today is Palestinian Land Day.
I saw the post linked above and wanted to make sure I posted something for the day.
There are important links in that post, so please check those out too, but I will link a few more here, since I wanted these on my blog for people anyway.
Links below:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vtMLLOzuc6GpkFySyVtKQOY2j-Vvg0UsChMCFst_WLA/htmlview#
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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moongothic · 4 months
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Do wanna say, I am actually really curious how Iva-chan would feel if the Dragodile Divorce went REAL BAD
'Cause they didn't know the two were in a relationship at all, right. (Otherwise, like, if Iva-chan knows about Crocodile having a kid then surely they'd realize that would've also been Dragon's kid and like. Understands that's Luffy etc) So as far as Iva-chan understands the situation, Crocodile may have been secretly slightly involved with the Revolutionaries for a period of time, had a kid out of the blue, transitioned, and either immidiately broke ties with the Revs entirely and fucked off to Alabasta, or kept on assisting the Revs in secret (possibly monetarily, being a sugar daddy and all 💰🐊💰) for however long in secret, only to pretty much betray them out of nowhere by attempting to take over Alabasta 17 years later Either way, surely Ivankov would've been deeply confused by this turn of events, right? Like what happened to him, why would Crocodile do any of this?
But if the straw that broke the camel's back and shattered Crocodile's psyche was the Dragodile Divorce going really bad, either from Dragon not being that accepting OR due to things going violent over a miscommunication... How would Ivankov feel about that?
Keep in mind, we've only ever heard Iva-chan talk about Dragon with nothing but adoration and respect. They sincerely hold Dragon in such high regard, can you imagine how badly either revelation could change how Iva-chan's views Dragon? 'Cause like, sure if Dragon's straight then that's one thing, but lashing out at his loved one? When he came out? At what might've been the most emotionally vunerable time of Crocodile's life (between the transing and the baby and having to leave his son forever. Y'know. Heavy shit)? Yeah, frankly speaking, Iva-chan would be completely justified in slapping the shit out of Dragon and giving him some choise words. Perhaps even some 💉 Karmic Punishment 💉 to teach a lesson Feeling disappointed in Dragon would be an understatement. But even if The Divorce happened due to a tragic accident (of Dragon attacking the strange man he has never seen before out of instinct when going to see his wife and child), it's been nearly two whole decades. Have the two even spoken since then? Like presumably not considdering Crocodile didn't even know who Luffy was. So if they haven't spoken at all-- did Dragon ever apologize? Or was he that much of a coward he couldn't face Croc and take responsibility for what he did? If so, that is absolutely pathetic and frankly irresponsible considdering the feelings he would've left Crocodile festering with.
Like either way, I'm deeply facinated how Iva-chan would take the news. How that could impact their relationship with Dragon, as well as how they've viewed Crocoboy for the past few years as well.
Because suddenly Crocoboy didn't just go bonkers out of nowhere, abandon and betray the Revolutionaries to try to do something monstrous for selfish gain. Suddenly, it was Dragon who abandoned Crocodile and left him all alone for nearly two decades, believing obtaining an Ancient Weapon was the only way to take down the World Government. Countless innocent lives that perhaps could've been spared in Alabasta had Dragon just fucking talked to his ex--
Yeah. I'm curious how Iva-chan would feel
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sorry my brain is soup I can't form a coherent thought rn#Something about the mental image of Iva-chan getting fucking furious at Dragon on Crocodile's behalf#Just#I'm not crying shut up#Like if there is a scenario where Dragon genuinely needs to apologize to Crocodile for however the hell he fucked up#I think Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and telling Dragon that he fucked up and needs to take responsibility would be like. Important#'Cause I think Iva-chan might be the only person in the world who could get Dragon to apologize (considdering how long they've been friends#Especially because Iva-chan might be the person who genuinely understands Crocodile's feelings the best#(Depending on how his egg got cracked and whether or not Iva-chan needed to help with that etc etc)#All of this to say; the Dragodile Divorce really would be more interesting if it went Real Bad. It would impact so many more characters#Another familiar question: What would Kuma have thought of it? How about Sabo and Koala?#But yes Iva-chan's reaction is the one I'd be the most interested in. Especially considdering like. IDK I kind of thought they'd have...#...a bigger role in Kuma's backstory but they actually kind of didn't. Like their friendship was not that important in the end#And a part of me deeply feels like Iva-chan should have a bigger role somehow in the story. Like they should impact things more#And yes if Crocodad Real then that alone would add to Iva-chan's role a whole bunch. But that would be like in past tense.#How about how things are going to go down from here on out? Yeah
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lord-squiggletits · 2 months
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Between TF and my other fandoms like BG3 and TES, I keep finding myself making OCs that have some element of "battle hardened hero who is actually good and righteous, but so traumatized by the toll of war that even after the war ends they feel empty/wrecked and can't enjoy the fruits of victory" and I'm not sure if it's bc I gravitate to a certain type of media where such OCs fit in best, or bc I have a specific character archetype I like and gravitate towards media that contains those things.
#squiggposting#possibly a mix of both bc idk if i've gone into detail here but war stories are one of my favorite genre of stories#like for fun fictional reasons but also for real life political and moral and emotional implications#war stories are literally so fucking cool man i feel like they get a bad rap for just being propaganda tools#and obv a lot of them can be/are explicitly made to be but also like#(i feel like i'm stealing a quote from one such story) war stories are also a method for the soldiers of the war to tell their side#and usually the soldier's side of the story tells of the LESS glorious and propagandistic sides#maybe ive just had the pleasure of having really good teachers/professors but like#most of the war stories i've read are specifically ABOUT the bridge bt war propaganda and the actual experience of fighting in a war#and i think even the ones where the soldier in question supports the war (american sniper comes to mind)#it's very interesting and dare i say important to read it and understand when and why and how they came to support war#like idk i think it's one of those things where ppl shy away from war stories bc#'ew gross it's all pro war probably american imperialist propaganda written by oppressive killers trying to make us feel sorry for them'#without understanding... idk. the difference between an individual soldier's evil and the evil of an entire institution?#some sort of anti intellectualism regarding soldiers as being inherently evil ppl who aren't to be listened to or taken seriously?#it's not a matter of like. you don't need to like or sympathize with them per se. but i think part of understanding and criticizing#the institution of war is getting the ground level testimonies about it. and more of them are critical than some ppl believe#plus i mean FUCK usamerican imperialism it doesn't need to be about US wars! other countries lived thru other wars that are also important!#war stories may have their strongest association w american imperialism but that doesn't mean other war stories don't exist#idk sorry for rambling in the tags
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incesthemes · 3 months
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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️
omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately
i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother
that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have
(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)
anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that
#ask#sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this#but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies#to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are#and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching#mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other#that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually#the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon#or something#like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there#same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like#think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like#no shit sherlock#but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship#in the first place#which is BIZARRE to me#like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends#that they don't even like each other#wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived#idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest#they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits#the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it#it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once#shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN#i hope i'm making sense here#supernatural#wincest#spn posting
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talentforlying · 3 months
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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vegaseatsass · 1 year
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I have to pry myself off the computer for real but tomorrow will someone please talk to me about Love Between Fairy & Devil now that I've finally watched it a year after the rest of the internet, and how Fairy Danyin is the best character, and Danyin/Changheng is the most lesbian (and/or gnc)/gay solidarity ship ever, and I am so stunned that they textually ended with Danyin admitting her original thing for Gods of War is that she wanted to become one herself - i.e. there was some "idk if I want to be him or be with him" to her Changheng pining - and with her demonstratively labeling Changheng her xiongdi???????? They are bros in every lifetime!! And should go on Chidi/Danyin Changheng/Ronghao double dates!!!
Someone please talk about this with me.... tomorrow.
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