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lucyintheskywithxanax · 3 years

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My Silver Screen, My Misery, My Love, My Defeat

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Fem Reader

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something with Billie Dean for so long but didn’t know where to start. This lady intimidates me. I don’t know what this fic is worth, and I’m so nervous about posting it - I know it’s not particularly nice, but it’s the most personal fic I ever wrote so please be kind.

Title is from “Pacific Coast Highway In The Movies” by AWOLNATION. This song haunts me. x

Word count: ~ 3 000

“Dear me when will my life begin?” you sighed dramatically as you gathered your things.

“Bitch, I never want to see you again,” your boss growled, pointing an angry finger at you.

“Goodbye, asshole!” you called over your shoulder as you walked out of the room.

You had never cared about that job. You didn’t seem to be able to care about anything at all. You were so bored.

Real life lacked passion and colours. You were constantly hungry for a sense of wonderment. No emotion was worth feeling if it wasn’t extreme. You wanted to know how it felt to love so deeply you would faint in the dining room like the heroines of old, drive your car off a cliff, smash the heads of your lover’s suitors. When had the world and love become so boring?

You had come to believe you would never be able to fall in love with anyone. Fiction had ruined your life. You wanted beauty, you wanted glamour, you wanted passion and murder, tears shed under the stars, diamonds on the bed. You wanted a lover who would come down the stairs in a white silk gown with lace as the music and the lighting made love to her. Cherry pink lips and wavy hair, glitter in her eyes. How could anyone settle for less?

You walked into the bright sunlight and let the flow of pedestrians sweep you away.

You scanned the press room and sighed. Bored, you were so bored. Luckily the couches were comfortable, and the tea was good.

You worked for the local newspaper – nothing serious, nothing you were passionate about, but you had been struggling to make ends meet. You and another journalist were covering an annual festival celebrating “everything mystical and magical!” Bollocks, as far as you were concerned. But you loved festivals, you always had. There was something almost surreal about them, how time seemed to slow down, and space to narrow. A bubble would form, a dome, a world only a few were let in. Real life would stop for a while, and you loved that, because real life was boring.

The press secretary – Leo? Theo? who cared; he was uninteresting and badly dressed – waved at you from across the room. “She’s here,” he mouthed, meaning the medium you were to interview. You gave him a thumbs-up and sighed as soon as he turned his back to you. Notebook, pen, Dictaphone. Cup of tea - empty. Another sigh. You signaled to the old lady behind the counter at the far end of the room for another cup. She pretended not to see you.

“Asshole,” you muttered between gritted teeth. Someone on the couch next to yours – Steve? Pete? he had introduced himself the day before, he worked for a national TV channel, you couldn’t remember which one – laughed loudly at something someone else had said.

Your attention was suddenly drawn to the door. The press secretary was ushering a group of people in: a young man wearing jeans, a girl clutching files to her chest, a woman who walked in as if she owned the place, high-heels clicking, smile flashing.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Pete (Steve?) point at her. “Man, that’s Billie Dean Howard,” he said in a breath.

“Who?” asked his companion.

“Oi, Miss Howard!” someone called – a photographer, jumping to his feet with his camera in his hands.

She glanced at him, offered him a polite smile; tilted her head on one side as she took a pose.

You gazed at her.

“Make sure the lighting is good,” she told the photographer.

The young man in jeans was buzzing around her, almost shoving a notebook into her face, muttering something about a timetable and how they were running out of time. She leaned away from him, holding out a perfectly manicured hand – pale pink acrylics, thin silver rings – to bat the notebook away. You saw her mouth twist in an annoyed kind of way, and then the press secretary nodded at you, and she turned, and her eyes met yours.

Her brow pushed up as a smug smile crept up her lips – plump, glittery beige lipstick. “Are you here for me, babydoll?” she called.

And just like that you were done for. For the stars were singing, and your heart was finally. Admiring. Entranced. Alive.

Oh thank all the freaking Gods, she had finally come.

You turned on the Dictaphone and grabbed your pen. Your hands were sweating.

“Ur,” you said. Billie Dean crossed her legs and folded her hands on her knee, smiling.

You had prepared for this interview, vaguely, but she had stolen all the words from you. Kidnap me, was what you wished to tell her. Ravish me. Take me away with you from this grey world and fill my mind and heart with wonderment. Make me your co-star.

“So, what do you think of the city so far?” was what came out of your mouth. You could have died of embarrassment.

Fortunately for you, Billie Dean loved to talk about herself, so you didn’t have to rack your brain for interesting questions.

You told her you had waited for her your whole life. You told her you meant it. She looked genuinely surprised, but then she smiled, a smile that seemed to suggest she had already forgiven you for that mistake. You realized that, probably, your passionate childishness was very funny to her, as were all those who had succumbed to it before you.

“The scariest spirit I’ve ever met?” She leant back on the couch, eyes staring up at the ceiling, lips curling into a smile. “I don’t get scared easily,” she quipped, and her smile turned into a smirk.

“Are you planning on staying here long?”

Her eyes sparkled. “Depends if I can find a cozy bed to sleep in and a pretty girl to smooch.”

Damn her, damn her – you were about to lean in and kiss that smug smile off her lips when the press secretary – damn him, damn him – appeared out of nowhere as in an uninspired script, squeaking “Time’s up!” as if time mattered, as if time hadn’t stopped the minute you had met Billie Dean’s eyes.

The young man in jeans pressed a cup of coffee into Billie’s hands. “Cathy’s waiting for you in the VIP room,” he said nervously. He glanced at you over the rim of his glasses. “You’re done here?”

“I – “You cleared your throat. Billie Dean was standing up, rearranging her hair, ready to leave, ready to forget already –

“You’ll have us read that article before you publish it, alright?” the young man was saying.

“Oh whatever happened to the freedom of the press,” Billie retorted. Her eyes flicked to you. “Don’t mind him.”

“I have a very cozy bed,” you heard yourself say.

For a second or two, you could have heard a pin drop.

Billie held your face between her hands as if you were made of porcelain, the first time she kissed you. You gazed into her eyes as if you were dreaming. “Who are you?” you whispered.

She laughed indulgently. “Don’t forget to breathe, darling.”

A breath in. She smelt of cigarette smoke and sage and something else, something like… you didn’t know. There was no word for it. She smelt like Billie Dean Howard, medium to the stars.

Billie Dean raised a toast to you and to the sun and said she couldn’t possibly live without either of you. You scoffed, rolled your eyes at her as if that wasn’t the kindest thing anyone had ever said to you. She noticed your reddening cheeks, and let out a chuckle.

“What? It’s a sunburn,” you lied, fighting a smile.

The midday summer sun was beating down on the Mediterranean, a soft breeze blowing and carrying the scent of the sea. You were spending the week in Monaco, a gift from Billie for your first anniversary. You closed your eyes, breathed in happily. The waiter brought your order, a bistro salad with warm goat cheese on toast for you, a slice of salmon and French fries for Billie. She flashed a smile at him, and his eyes sparkled.

“He’s in love,” you teased, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“With me?” Billie assumed an innocent expression. “Why, I could not possibly believe that.”

You scoffed again. She smiled, pinched a thick slice of lemon between her thumb and index.

“We should come here every summer,” she said in a singsong, drizzling lemon juice over the salmon. “I love it here.”

“Ghost-free?”

She laughed. “I wish. But you look so beautiful with that sunburn.”Her eyes glanced up at you mischievously; you cleared your throat. She smirked, put the slice of lemon on the side of her plate, dried her fingers with her napkin.

“You and I, lost in a foreign country,” she said.

“Luckily for you, I took French lessons in college.”

“Oh is that so?” Under the table, Billie rubbed her bare foot up and down your leg. “And how do you say ‘kiss me’ in French?”

You leaned towards her, beaming. Your gaze flicked to her lips. “Embrasse-moi.”

“Atta girl.”

She took your breath away, every day. You bent over the table, meeting her lips halfway, smiling into the kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered. Her eyes smiled. “Forever.”

You pressed the pad of your thumb against her brow. “Um, you can’t know that.”

“Know that I love you?”

“Know that it’ll last forever. Nothing lasts forever.”

She pouted, shifted slightly on the bed. Your thumb slid on her skin. The light streaming through the windows splashed the walls of the hotel room yellow.

“Don’t be so mean at 8 in the morning,” she whined.

You rolled your eyes at her, planted a kiss on her lips. Her skin was hot and clammy. You nuzzled your nose in her neck, blew some air to tickle her. She raised one hand to fan herself – coral acrylics, no rings.

“Call room service,” she said, stretching lazily. “I want some ice cream.”

You snorted.“Ice cream for breakfast?”

“It’s too hot.”

You reached out for the telephone and sat up, making sure your bare breasts were exposed. “Lemon?” you asked Billie. She nodded, gaze on your chest. You made a face. “I don’t understand how you can stand the taste of lemon, it’s so sour – oh, hello. Yes, could we get some lemon ice cream, please? Ice cream, yes. Room 108. And you know what, a bottle of champagne as well. Yes.” You grinned at Billie, who, face half buried in her pillow, was laughing happily. “Thank you. Muchas gracias. Yes. Bye!”

“Miss Howard, please.”

“Oh babe, call me Billie.”

“A little further to the left, please Billie.”

“Who’s that with you, miss Billie?”

“Be a doll and fetch me my shawl, will you darling?”

The girl – Lucy? Lily? – nodded in awe and hurried off.

“A little further to the left, Billie.”

Someone turned on a projector. You squinted, gave Billie’s hand a squeeze.

“Miss Billie, who’s that charming young woman with you? Is she your date? Miss Billie, who’s –“

Camera flashes, everywhere. You felt Billie’s lips, feather-light, brush your ear. “Relax,” she whispered. “You look beautiful.”

All around you, you could make out dark shapes, nondescript, unimportant. Spectators of the show. Come to see her, come to see you.

“Miss Billie who’s that charming –“

“Paws off!” Billie laughed. She pulled you closer, hip bumping yours. “She’s all mine, gentlemen.”

You beamed at her, brighter than the projector. Camera flashes, everywhere. To capture the moment when Billie nipped your ear lobe and you threw back your head to laugh, one hand on her arm, in love, so in love.

“So what are we doing this weekend?”

You glanced up at her. “Aren’t you busy this weekend?”

Billie flashed you a smile as she sat down on the couch beside you. She laid one hand on your bare thigh, nails gently grazing. “Production’s delayed. I’m all yours.”

With a wince you removed her hand from your thigh. “I’m sweating,” you whined.

Her smile faltered, just a bit. “Aren’t you happy?”she asked. And then she relaxed and shook her head. “Oh, I’m stupid. You made other plans.”

“I’ve nothing to do at all.” You stretched and winced again. “I don’t know. I’m so bored.”

It happened again. And again.

You caught yourself looking at other faces in the crowd. No one held a candle to Billie Dean, you knew that. But still. You scanned the crowd.

You pretended not to notice when Billie held out a hand for you to hold.

The glamour was fading. The twinkle of the stars was being swallowed up by the morning light.

You had once visited a house. The wallpaper was peeling off, leaving ugly streaks of dirty grey or brown. The landlady’s nail polish was chipped.

Billie’s eyes were wide and rimmed red. You had never seen her look so sad.

“Wait,” she pleaded, her fingers – pale pink acrylics, vintage ring with a red stone – closing around your wrist to hold you back. “Surely we can talk – “She tried to smile, but it looked too broken, too scared.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Billie,” you said, avoiding her gaze. You hesitated. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

Her face fell. “But surely – “

“Are you here for me, babydoll?”

Her teeth sank into her lower lip and a tear rolled down her cheek, but you didn’t wipe it as you usually would. For this was how things always went. People left each other. Staying alive meant getting bored of the people you once loved. The credits roll. The movie ends.

You planted one last kiss on her lips as a sob pushed out of your throat. “Gosh but I loved you so much,” you cried. “I hadn’t been alive before you came. You taught me how to love and now I’ve died again and I’m lost without you. I’m forever lost without my love for you.”

You kept one of her scarves. It still smelt of cigarette smoke and sage and that something else – Billie Dean Howard, medium to the stars.

Colours faded to grey. You sank back into routine. Monotonous. Soporific. Boring. So very boring.

A year ago you would have expected the world to stop turning the minute you walked out of Billie Dean’s life. It didn’t. Days followed days, a succession of yesterdays and todays and tomorrows. Life went on, mocking you.

The smell of salmon filled the kitchen as you dropped the thick slices onto the burning pan. You smiled as Julie – a one-night stand that somehow had become more – made an appreciative noise. She was sprawled on the sofa, watching TV lazily, muttering “Boring” every time she changed the channel.

“Boring,” – another channel, “Boring,” – another channel, “Bo – oh hello there! Y/N, look, I spot a milf!”

You looked up as the anchorman’s face twisted into a fawning smile. “I’ve got Muriel here on the phone, from Portland, Oregon. Muriel sounds pretty worried. She wants to know if ghosts stay forever as ghosts or if they ever get to find peace.”

The camera cut to his guest – coral acrylics, no rings. The salmon’s grease sizzled on the pan.

“Nice pair of legs,” Julie was saying. “Come on, cameraman, don’t be shy, show us more!”

You shushed her.

“… some of them have been dead for a very long time, I’m afraid,” Billie Dean answered with an affected nod of her head.

Your eyes were wide.

“And what about love?” the anchorman asked.

Billie quirked an eyebrow. “Love?”

“Do you think it’s eternal?”

“I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow!” your friend Henry moaned drunkenly. He tapped his foot on the pavement like a pouting child. “Couldn’t we buy a house on one of those hills and live here? I wanna live here. I don’t wanna live anywhere else.”

“I know,” you giggled, pulling on his arm. The night was full of lights. You hadn’t expected less from Los Angeles. You hadn’t quite been able to find the angels in the sky, though. You kept an eye out for them.

“The world isn’t fair because we’re poor.”Henry walked up to the nearest streetlight and hugged it. “I’m staying here. I’m not leaving.”

You giggled again, stretching your arms as if you were about to break into dance. The air was warm. For the past few days your heart hadn’t been quite so sad.

A car honked nearby, making you jump, and just as you were about to curse a woman shot out of the hotel on your left in a flurry of yellow and blue and nearly smashed into you – “Shit, look where you’re go – “ – brown eyes, gaze terrified, shoes in her hands, cheeks pink and – “Billie?”

She slammed back into your life like the female protagonist of a Hitchcock movie, running from danger in the moonlight with her hair disheveled and her dress billowing in the wind.

“Billie?”

You caught hold of her wrist and tried to meet her gaze. “Are you alright? What – what happened to you? Did somebody hurt you? Are you alright?” You poured questions onto her as if you couldn’t stop. Her eyes focused on you, and she ran a hand through her hair, and let out a nervous laugh.

And just like that you were done for. For the stars were singing, and your heart was once again. Admiring. Entranced. Alive.

“Never again,” Billie groaned into your mouth. She was holding your head firmly between her hands, devouring you, shivering, panting. “Don’t you dare leave me ever again.”

“I love you,” you moaned. You pushed her down on the bed, eyes flashing hungry and predatory as you took in the sight of her, all flushed and ready for you. “Forever.”

And as you dived in you could almost forget the taste of that one lie.

“What about love?” the anchorman asked. “Do you think it’s eternal?”

Billie’s smile faltered. “I’m not sure,” she answered slowly.

“Aw, poor chick got her heart broken,” Julie mocked.

“Lemon?” you asked her.

“Uh?”

“Should I put some lemon juice on the salmon?”

“I hope so,” Billie’s voice said. “I’m not sure – but I hope so.”

#ahs #ahs imagines #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #fics

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sigil-of-3 · 3 years

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Tmnt 2012 Comfort headcannons :)

Before we start, I’m going to be using genderneutral pronouns for any and all of my headcannon posts unless specifically requested otherwise, so i hope that’s not a bother! And i hope you enjoy this post :) (Also, this is ment to be fully platonic, but you can interpret it any way you want, enjoy!)

Leo:

Leo always had a good sense for emotions, so he imideately knew when his friends were upset. And you were no exception.

As soon as you had entered the Lair he was ready with a cup of your favourite drink and open ears.

He lets you rant for hours on end about whatever’s bothering you, offering advice if you wanted any, or just some gentle assurance that you weren’t doing anything wrong.

He’s 100% willing for hugs, and cuddles under a soft blanket.

If it get’s to be too much and you start crying, he’ll just gently embrace you, or offer you a shoulder to cry on.

If you get to the point of tears, he’ll wipe them away gently so you dont get your clothes wet.

and he’ll kiss your forhead, letting you cry as long as you want.

Angry about something? He’ll let you spar with him until you’re calm enough to just vent.

Feel out of control? He’ll let you help scedule out his next few days.

”I’m glad i can help Y/n. Don’t worry about everyone else, ok? Just keep doing your best.”

Regardless of your problems he’ll do his best to help.

Raph:

Many would think comfort isn’t his strong suit. But it’s a secret strength of his.

He’s got a soft spot for pets and friends, so he’d soften up a bit for you.

he’ll let you go on for HOURS about what’s troubling you, taking your side effortlesly to help you feel better.

If you ask, he’ll let you hold chompy :)

He falters a bit when it comes to tears, but he won’t fully shut down. He’ll hug you and gently stroke your hair, but cuddles aren’t really his thing.

But if you need them he’ll make an exception.

He’ll let you play his drums, or blast music with him topside, screaming the lyrics to let out all your stress and anger

Feel out of control? He’ll let you win the next few sparring matches to give you a sense of power.

Feeling useless? He’ll list off a hundred reasons why you arent just in his opinion.

And a hundred reasons why everyone else thinks you’re more than you think you are.

”Remember kid, everyrone else aint shit. And if they act like it, remember you got us, Alright?”

He’ll try his very best, and by the end of the night you’ll feel at least a little better :)

Mikey:

Somehow, he’s the worst at comforting people

If it’s something someone can brush off easily, he’ll help them to feel better easily.

But as soon as it’s more than that, he’ll kind of shut down for a bit.

He see’s the best of everyone, you included.

So how could someone make you feel so horrible?

But after a little venting and explaining, His ‘brother mode’ kicks in

Want a drink? Of course! Snacks? No problem!! Cuddles under a pillow fort with lots of blankets? Already set up. wanna go see letherhead? So does he!

He just want’s you happy.

But if he cant do that.. He’ll get bummed out himself. He’ll still listen and help as much as he can. But he’s a little less excited to help.

Feeling angry? he’ll watch some cartoons with you to distract you?

Feeling out of controll? Help him set up some pranks!

”Glad you’re feeling better Y/n! Keep at it, ok bro?”

He’s trying his best (The bapy :3) But if you’re looking for comfort and not distractions, try someone else maybe.

Donnie:

It’s always a suprise to donnie when you go to him for comfort.

He’ll always listen though, even if he’s working on something else.

He may sound distant when he’s answering you, but as soon as you ask for advice he has a whole fledged out plan that you never though about

But as soon as it gets more serious than school problems or lifes stress, everything he’s working on goes away

No projects, no distractions. Just cuddles and silence

wether you feel worthless or angry enough to punch someone, he’ll take you to his room and make a giant comfy nest of blankets and pillows to lay in.

He gets feeling useless, feeling like the weakest person around. And he knows how frustrating it is to be brushed off.

So no matter how importint his work was, you get your minute to be upset, and feel horrible before he starts comforting you.

After that, he’ll do anything to help you feel better

More cuddles? Sure thing. Want to work on a project with him? Get your welding goggles! Want to just.. Cry and lay in bed? Of course. Just dont be suprised if he vents a little bit too.

”You are worth so much more Y/n. Dont let yourself be pushed off to the side ok? “

He’ll do anything to make sure you dont get brushed off like he is.

Alright, i hope ya’ll enjoyed! I’ll probably do a more specific comfort event later, but if you have any idea’s my asks are open! I’ll answer anything Sfw :) keep doin you! Untill next time, with the Rottmnt boys

#tmnt #tmnt2012 #leo #raph #mikey #donnie #tmnt headcanons #Got angsty with donnie whoops ':)#tmnt leo 2012 #tmnt raph2012 #tmnt mikey 2012 #tmnt donnie 2012 #no tcest #tcest dni #Ewnotcest

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jetaime-jespere · 3 years

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The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

This is for the lovely @sequinsmile-x on her birthday. I started reading her stories back in December and was a huge fan from the beginning. Fast forward a few months, and I am somehow lucky enough to call you my friend. For all the pep talks, the inspiration, and the laughs- you have been a bright spot of 2021. But I stand true to my word if harm ever comes to Theo Hotchner, you know what’s coming your way ; ) Happiest of birthdays, my friend! Enjoy every moment and all the cocktails.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

The Day After Thanksgiving

The fragrant aromas of hazelnut and vanilla waft through the air as Aaron precariously grips two full mugs of coffee in his hands. He sidesteps a few toys and a pair of shoes that were somehow missed in last night’s cleanup as he carefully ascends the stairs. The coffee threatens to slosh over the edge of the mugs and stain the hardwood floors; he slows his steps and tiptoes past closed bedroom doors. He avoids the squeaky floorboards - he knows exactly where they are by now - and kicks another stray toy against the wall in his haste to get to Emily before she wakes up.

Coffee in bed is a sacred routine for them, one they haven’t abandoned even balancing the demands of three children and two grueling careers. It’s one of Emily’s little pleasures, an act so simple Aaron can’t deny her whenever he gets the chance. That alone is how he found himself awake before the sun rises, rearranging the various pyrex containers of Thanksgiving leftovers to locate the coveted bottle of Emily’s favorite creamer in the fridge. It was wedged behind the cranberry sauce and macaroni and cheese they made for Nora, who vehemently refused to eat turkey. Of course, she’d eaten maybe five bites of her specially prepared dinner before she’d crawled into Emily’s lap in the middle of dinner. Yet it still brings a smile to his face; it’s their first holiday season as a family of five - something they never expected, something they’ll never take for granted.

Read the rest here or on ao3

When he shoulders the door open, Aaron finds her awake, feeding Leo. She holds him at her breast, her head tipped back and her eyes closed. She senses his presence innately, attuned to the softness of his steps as he steps over the threshold of the sanctuary of their bedroom. Emily’s face stretches into a brilliant smile when she sees him, but it doesn’t hide the exhaustion that paints her features.

“He’s awake again?” Aaron sets the mug on the nightstand and kisses her cheek then the top of Leo’s head. “I thought you’d at least get another hour of sleep.”

“He had other plans,” Emily murmurs, lovingly shifting their son in her arms. “He’s almost done.” She reaches for the coffee with her free hand, lifts the mug to her lips. “Thank you for this.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Aaron watches her finish Leo’s feed with unabashed awe. There’s nothing but adoration in his eyes, amazement at how she handles motherhood with an abundance of patience and grace. There have been ups and downs, tears. arguments and fights, her nerves stretched thin and his worn down. But these moments make it worth it, ones he wouldn’t trade. He leans down to take Leo to give her a break. The little boy’s eyes are already closed, contentedly asleep once again.

“You’re spoiling me.” Emily says with a grateful smile. She rests back against the pillows, eyes closing again. “What was I thinking when I agreed to go Black Friday shopping with JJ and Garcia?”

“Might be good to get out of the house. Away from the chaos.”

“Into a whole new kind of chaos. Garcia means business. I’m afraid of her ambition.” Emily rolls her eyes at the thought of the shared document Garcia had sent to her and JJ - essentially a shopping itinerary, with all the best deals and discounts clearly marked.

“You say it like you’re surprised.” Aaron gently places Leo into the bassinet before crawling back into bed with his wife. “It is Garcia we’re talking about.”

“Maybe I’ll learn my lesson next year.” She snuggles against him, seeking a few extra moments of peace.

Christmas Tree Shopping

It’s scarcely a week after Thanksgiving when Aaron caves to the persistent demands from Nora and Jack, unable to hold them off any longer. Less than an hour later, as the sun starts to go down in the early December sky, the Hotchners find themselves at an idyllic Christmas tree farm in Loudoun County. They’re not the only ones, as families make their way through the maize of evergreen, the air thick with the cloying, yet not unpleasant, scent of pine needles.

“We’re becoming those people,” Aaron grumbles good naturedly, Leo strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. “Jack, please watch your sister!” A few feet ahead, Nora runs excitedly through the trees, clapping her tiny mitten covered hands with joy. But Jack looks just as excited and takes off behind her as they search for the perfect one. It’s a tradition he never had growing up; one he’d only ever heard stories about from his classmates as he swallowed an emotion he only identified many years later as jealousy.

“What kind of people?” Emily carefully picks her way through the grass, her hand enclosed in his. Her head falls onto his shoulder every few feet; they quietly murmur to each other in broken sentences, interrupted every few seconds by one of the kids, yet it’s a language they’ve mastered over the last few years. Glances and smiles, words that speak volumes, little touches here and there.

“Those Christmas crazed people. Pretty soon we’re going to have an inflatable Santa on the lawn or something.”

“Don’t say that too loudly.” Emily gives him a quick kiss, stopping for a moment to adjust Leo’s hat to cover his tiny head. “Nora said one of her classmates has one. She’s already talking about it.”

“Great.” Aaron rolls his eyes. “I bet Garcia has one we could borrow. Probably more than one.”

Emily laughs, lightly smacking him on the shoulder as Nora grabs her hand. “Mommy, Jack and I like this one!” They all stop in front of a tree on a corner. It’s bigger than Aaron anticipated - he has visions of vacuuming pine needles for the next four weeks - and slightly lopsided, with uneven branches and a few gaps in between. Certainly not what you might see in a magazine, and in no way picture perfect, but Nora and Jack are beaming, their cheeks flushed pink in the chilly early evening air.

“Oh, you mean you two finally agree on something?” Emily quips, letting Nora drag her around the base of the tree, listening as their daughter explains where she wants to put her collection of superhero ornaments. “Who would have ever thought?” But when her eyes meet Aaron’s, it’s clear they’re thinking the same thing too.

It’s perfect.

A Lesson In Gift Wrapping

“Damnit,” Emily swears under her breath as the wrapping paper seemingly shreds in her hands. How does Aaron make this look so easy? With her bottom lip between her teeth, she folds another piece of paper around the box, trying to mimic the process she’s seen him do so effortlessly time and time again. It’s not quite enough paper to wrap around the box, and she shakes her head in defeat.

“Of all the places I looked, I didn’t think I’d find you here.” Aaron’s baritone voice shakes her from her trance. He’s leaning in the doorway of the guest room, an amused but loving smirk on his face. The remnants of the day are there - a hint of shadow on his chin, tie loosened and sleeves rolled to his elbows.

“Thought I might get some of this done.” She looks up at him briefly before her attention goes back to the mess of wrapping paper, twisted balls of tape, and gift bows. “There’s a lot still left to do.”

“Did the North Pole finally accept your elf application?” Aaron teases lovingly, pushing the door open and side-stepping a large pile of gifts that still have yet to be wrapped. “Looks like we’re a little behind schedule this year.”

With a roll of her eyes, Emily pushes a piece of hair out of her face. “You’re home earlier than I expected.” She glances at the mess around her with a sigh, and her voice softens. “Leo needs to be fed when he gets up. I need to pick up Nora from school and Jack will be home in an hour.”

He immediately catches the tension in her voice. As the early days of December melted into weeks, the never ending hustle was clearly starting to get to her, especially since cases took Aaron out of town most of the workweek. Evenings were full of obligations - practices and errands, weekends packed with as much family time as they could manage. All the rest was pushed to the side, a never ending list of chores that was only added to, never subtracted from.

The team had spent almost a week in Bethlehem Pennsylvania, ironically called the Christmas City, searching for an arsonist that had the entire city on edge. Perhaps the nickname was an eerie coincidence yet nonetheless it was a grueling case. Since he’d gotten home he could sense the stress emanating from her, curling like fog around her. She couldn’t hide it from him; she couldn’t hide anything from him. And while he didn’t ask, he somehow already knew. “I asked Garcia to pick Nora up to give you a break.”

“What about dinner?”

“It’s already been ordered.” Aaron says easily, settling beside her on the floor. “Pizza sounded good.”

Relief floods her face. “Pizza always sounds good.” She kicks the abandoned box out of the way to wedge herself against him, lacing her fingers through his. “We’ve missed you around here.” It’s honest, an understated relief that only years of intimacy can bring. Her head finds its way to his shoulder; she leans against him.

“We’re finished until after New Years.” Aaron holds their hands up to the light, staring at the bouncing reflection of their wedding rings. “You have me here until January.”

“Lucky me,” Emily says dryly.

Aaron picks up a stray ball of abandoned wrapping paper and chucks it at her. “What do you say we finish wrapping these together?”

“I say,” she begins slowly, eyes darting between the neatly made bed and his own. “We take advantage of having the house to ourselves.”

He makes her come three times before they hear Garcia’s car in the driveway, and twice more after the kids are in bed, for good measure.

A Deal With The Devil

The name that appears on the screen of his ringing phone is one Aaron can’t ignore. It’s terrible timing, but he’s not at all surprised. His mother in law had an uncanny knack for calling at the most inopportune moments.

“Hi, Elizabeth,” Aaron says hastily, pressing the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he wedges the final plate into the dishwasher. He barely got to the phone in time before it went to voicemail, and something tells him she’s only a little miffed about that fact. Elizabeth Prentiss has an abundance of patience for her grandchildren, but not much for anyone else, he’s come to learn.

“Good evening, Aaron,” she says crisply yet not unkindly. In the background he can hear the mellow crooning of Bing Crosby. He imagines Elizabeth with a glass of wine in one hand, a thick book in her lap. “Is Emily around? I tried to reach her earlier. She didn’t answer my call.”

“She’s giving Nora a bath.” He glances upward, the muffled squeals and giggles coming from the bathroom just loud enough to hear from downstairs. At least things have calmed down since dinner . He decides not to mention it’s already been quite an evening around their house, thanks to unfamiliar vegetables and a long day in preschool. “Is there something you’d like me to pass along?” Of course Elizabeth would call on the one night this week he isn’t away on a case.

“Actually, Aaron, maybe you can help me,” Elizabeth presses, and he knows whatever she’s about to say is something that’s already caused a disagreement between her and Emily.

“I can try,” he offers tentatively, choosing words carefully. The very last thing he wants to do is get caught between their fires. It’s never ended well for him.

“You sound tired, Aaron. Are you not sleeping well?”

“We have three kids, Elizabeth,” he counters back. “I haven’t slept well in years.”

He hears a soft laugh on the other line; for a moment he has to remind himself he’s not talking to his wife. Sometimes the similarities between them are uncanny, much to Emily’s chagrin.

He’s wrapping up the call, assuring Elizabeth they’ll figure out a plan that works for everyone yet doesn’t add any additional stress, while simultaneously cleaning the rest of the kitchen when he hears soft footsteps on the stairs.

“You’re on bedtime duty.” Emily appears behind him, leaning against the counter with an exasperated huff. “She’s in a mood tonight.”

Aaron comes to stand behind her, circling both arms around her waist. Her hips fit snugly against the cradle of his own; he rests his chin over her shoulder to nip at her ear. “I just made a deal with your mother.” He doesn’t miss how she tenses against him, a combination of frustration, annoyance, and exhaustion seeping through her body. It’s the first time they’ve been alone all day. He presses a palm against her chest, feeling the beat of her heart under the warmth of his hand.

“She called again? I let it go to voicemail earlier.”

“Just now. She wanted to talk to you. Luckily, you’re off the hook, because I talked to her.” He kisses her neck. He swipes at a few stray bath bubbles that have somehow found their way into her hair. Of all the versions of Emily he’s loved over the years, this Emily might just be his favorite.

“Let me guess. She wants us to come to her for Christmas Eve dinner instead of her coming here.”

“Something like that.”

“Does she not understand we have three children?” Emily grumbles. “I’ve been over this with her. She’s not the one who has to put them to bed on Christmas Eve, you know. It’s a whole different kind of chaos.”

“I think we can figure it out, Em.” Aaron chuckles. He holds her a little closer, voice reassuring and calm. “I made her a deal.” She noticeably relaxes, her body melding against his. Proximity is one of their love languages, the subtle touches an endless source of comfort for them both.

“ Mommy!” Nora’s voice is an insistent, urgent interruption, one they can’t ignore. “Mommy!”

Emily sighs in defeat, the moment of peaceful bliss abruptly over.

“I’ll go,” Aaron says immediately, leaving a trail of kisses down Emily’s neck. “I haven’t seen you sit down all day.”

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” She presses her hips into his teasingly and turns her head to kiss him. It’s a promise of later, another little luxury they still manage to make time for.

“No, but you can show me once the kids are asleep.” He reluctantly lets her go as he heads in the direction of the upstairs.

“Only if I don’t fall asleep first.”

Visiting Santa

“This is not the smartest idea we’ve ever had, clearly,” Emily mutters under her breath as the crowd around them seems to thicken before their eyes. The mall is packed, full of shoppers and families lined elbow to elbow around a colorful, elaborate display to meet Santa. There’s fake snow everywhere, teenagers dressed up as elves supervising the line and a kids’ rendition of a Christmas song blasting from speakers. “What were we thinking?”

“The same as everyone else in Northern Virginia, apparently.” Aaron finds the small of her back through her coat, rests his hand there gently as Emily pushes the stroller a little to soothe Leo. “Not like we had much of a choice, sweetheart. I’ve been gone all week. When else were we supposed to do this?”

“I could have taken them myself one night.” She looks annoyed and rightfully so, as one of the elves announces it’s time for Santa to take a fifteen minute break.

“And miss all this fun?” Aaron jokes. He’s doing his best to hide his own annoyance, yet the flex of his jaw is a tell-tale sign that Emily spots immediately. “Not a chance.”

They’ve been in line for over a half an hour, and will be for at least another half hour. Beside Aaron, Jack grumbles under his breath and rolls his eyes without even looking up from his Nintendo Switch. He’d obliged reluctantly, partly because Aaron had promised him a new video game if he didn't complain. And from where Nora is nestled in the safety of her mother’s arms, she presses her cheek against Emily’s shoulder. “What if we miss Santa, Mommy?”

“We won’t, honey,” Emily soothes, catching Aaron’s eyes over their daughter’s head of dark hair. It’s the third time she’s asked the question, her dark eyes widening as Santa waves to the crowd before disappearing. “He’s just taking a break.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Aaron mutters under his breath. “Even Santa is over it.”

When they finally emerge from the mall almost an hour later, with three cranky children in tow, Emily passes over the photograph to Aaron. “This is an awful picture,” she snickers behind her gloved fist. It’s true. It was taken at the worst possible moment - seconds after Leo started screaming, Nora’s attention anywhere but the camera, and Jack’s eyes closed. “This is even worse than last year’s picture. We can’t actually display this anywhere, you know.”

“We can give it to Dave. He’ll love it,” Aaron jokes as he tucks the envelope under his arm. “Trust me.”

Twas the Night before Christmas

“Move over, Nora!” Jack elbows his sister squarely in the stomach in an attempt to crawl over his sister to get closer to Aaron. “You’re taking up too much space.”

“Ouch, Jack! Daddy, Jack is being mean!”

“There’s more than enough room for everyone,” Aaron says neutrally and cheerfully. It’s clear he won’t pick a side. “Santa doesn’t want to hear the two of you fighting on Christmas Eve. Last time we checked the radar, he was headed to the United States, wasn’t he?”

From where she cradles a milk-drunk Leo in her arms, Emily stifles a laugh in her fist. She makes a mental note to thank Garcia for showing it to the kids earlier that evening. It’s been the only thing to keep them from completely losing their minds with excitement ever since.

“Nora, why don’t you come sit over here next to Mommy and Leo?” He pats the sliver of space between his thigh and Emily’s, covered in matching flannel pajamas as Emily shifts over.

“Okay, Daddy,” she beams, scrambling off the couch and making a point to stick her tongue out at Jack along the way.

“Nora, apologize to Jack,” Emily cuts in smoothly with a sharp look at her daughter.

The little girl pouts even as guilt spreads across her face. “Sorry, Jack.” She breaks off a piece of the frosted cookie in her hand - the one she isn’t supposed to have on the new couch - and hands it to Jack. “Here.”

“Is everyone ready?” Aaron asks once Nora is settled and Jack has stopped kicking his feet underneath one of the many blankets flung around the couch. “No one needs anything?” He grins at the insistent pleas of both kids, hushes them quietly to avoid waking the sleeping baby on Emily’s chest. “Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house…” He begins, as a silence falls over them all.

Emily watches him read, transfixed by the sight of Jack and Nora completely engrossed in the story they’ve heard dozens of times, as if they never have before. Sometimes it still doesn’t seem real that this is their life now. She would have laughed ten years ago if someone predicted her future.

“A happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.” Aaron closes the book in his hands, looking between Nora and Jack. “I think it’s bedtime, what do you think?”

There are grumbles from them both as they trip over each other on their way towards the stairs, not without frequent peeks over the shoulder to see if in fact Santa somehow materialized behind them.

“Maybe Santa will bring us a puppy, Jack!"

Christmas Eve

“You think they’ll be disappointed when none of these presents bark?” Emily jokes once they’ve finished setting up the pile of gifts. There’s a bottle of wine between them, and It’s A Wonderful Life plays in the background on low.

“I told them Santa doesn’t carry pets on the sleigh.” Aaron tucks his arm around her and brings her into his chest, dropping a kiss on the crown of her head. “Said it was too dangerous.”

“Did they buy that?”

“Seemed to.” He shrugs. “We might have some explaining to do if Allison and Shane end up getting Jude a puppy, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” In the easy silence the movie stretches on; they share sips of wine and leftover cookies and murmur soft whispers over the final few minutes.

“I love this part,” Emily murmurs as George Bailey reunites with his family in a joyous, tearful reunion and the opening measures of Auld Lang Syne begin to play. She doesn't look away from the screen.

“You love this whole movie,” he teases gently. “You always have.”

“You don’t?”

“I have other favorites. But I’ll always watch it with you.”Outside, the snow has started to accumulate; it’s already formed a blanket of white across the grass, and is covering the trees. It doesn’t look like it’ll be stopping anytime soon.

“This never gets old,” Emily says from where they’re snuggled together on the couch, staring at the Christmas tree and the falling snow out the window. It’s been their tradition to do this since having Nora - set up presents and watch the movie.

They watch the falling snow in silence once again, their fingers linked, heads bent together, enjoying the few extra moments of peace. It’s only when Emily’s eyes drift shut does she realize just how exhausted she really is.

“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Aaron murmurs as she opens them. “There’s one thing left to do.”

“We did everything. We even answered the note they wrote for Santa. We forgot that last year.” Emily stretches as she stands, her limbs aching. “It’s time for bed, Aaron. I’m so tired.”

“Not quite yet, sweetheart.” Aaron is reaching behind the decorations on the mantle for the small hidden speakers, flicking a button. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

“What?” She yawns, not even bothering to hide it. “It’s so late.”

“You remember,” he says, holding out his hand as the music starts.

Emily rolls her eyes good naturedly, remembering just what he means. “Really, Aaron?”

“One dance, sweetheart. Please?”

“I'm tired.”

He rolls his eyes. It’s a line she’s used many times, yet for some reason, she always gives in. In fact, she’s stepping into his arms before she even stops talking.

“That’s what you always say.” He takes her hand and wraps his other arm around her back, drawing her in close. “Yet you always end up right here.”

“Because I love you,” she whispers, following his steps as he takes the lead.

Some soft Christmas jazz starts to play, a sultry sounding medley that might just lull her to sleep. “This is the song you picked?” Emily rests her head on his shoulder as he sways them in time to the music. “You couldn’t have picked anything more lively?”

“Shhhh,” he murmurs, his hand bracing against the small of her back as he dips her down and brings her back up. “Just go with it.”

So she does, letting him move them both around the living room in a series of smooth, even steps. When the music stops, they still for a few blissful, silent moments. Still wrapped in each other’s arms, they’re close enough together to feel the other’s heart beating in sync. “Merry Christmas, Emily. I love you.”

“I love you too, Aaron. Merry Christmas.”

#hotchniss #domestic hotchniss #happy hotchners #wsne universe #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron x emily #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #birthday fics and Christmas fluff #Christmas in July #for you my dear friend sequinsmile_x #I hope you enjoy

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skylarmoon71 · 3 years

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Donatello Fanfiction- Oneshot

"Guys quit messing around, they're getting away!" Leo yelled. Raph and Mikey were tying up the two robbers they'd stopped a few blocks down. Three more of the men had managed to run off into the crowd. Leo knew if they didn't stop them at the upcoming turn it would be difficult to catch them without being seen.

When the men took a turn, Leo smiled. It was down a street he knew pretty well. They could cut them off without a crowd. When he pitched over the last building, he could hear grunts of pain coming from the other side. Raph and the others finally caught up, leaning over the building just in time to see another person dressed in black, taking out the men they were trying to stop. With one powerful punch, the robber hit the opposite wall, knocking out cold.

"Woah!"

Mikey's excited scream caught the person's attention.

Their head raised, and Leo took the opportunity to jump down. He wasn't sure if this guy was friend or foe. His brothers followed, and the figure backpedaled.

"Listen, we're not going to hurt you. It looks like we were after the same people."

He could tell by the way the person stood that they were still very much unnerved. Leo took a cautious step forward. "I know that you must be-" he didn't have a chance to finish the sentence, because they fired a punch, which he dodged.

"Hey! We're on the same side!" Ignoring the statement, the individual continued to fight back, and when the last punch connected, Leo was shocked when he was forced against the wall at the force. Whoever this was had knocked the wind right out of him. He fell to the ground, a bit disoriented. When he finally regained his wits, he stood up slowly.

"He's strong guys be careful." Leo warned. Raph, Donnie and Mikey circled.

"Alright, don't ya go getting ideas. We don't want to hurt ya." As they moved to fire another attack, Donnie shot out one of his rope launchers. It wrapped around the figure's torso, bounding their hands at their sides. The body hit the floor with a thud, and the noises of struggle was all Leo heard. He straightened, rubbing his sore stomach.

"D-Damn it let me go you bastards!" Leo was stunned at the feminine voice. It sounded pretty young too. Reaching over he pulled off the hood, surprised at the girl before him.

"No way she's a girl!" Mikey shouted. You glared up at them, pissed.

"Just wait until I get out of this I'll punch your lights out! " Why the hell are you guys so big anyway, and buff. Kinda hot." you muttered that last part when your eyes landed on the one in purple. He shifted at your stare, and Mikey was cheering. "Dude she's definitely joining the team."

"Shut up Mikey!"

You frowned, forcing yourself upright. Donnie and Raph took a step back, and you started yelling, freeing yourself of the rope. It ripped like a piece of paper, and Leo's eyes grew wide. How were you so strong? Your hands raised in front of your face, watching them carefully. Regular thugs you could take, but these guys, you had no idea what they were.

Still, you weren't going to just lie down and get beaten.

"Leo what do we do?" Donnie was out of ideas. Anything else that he had to subdue you probably wouldn't hold, and you were just defending yourself. They weren't sure how to approach without causing harm, or being harmed.

"What are you?" you questioned.

"We should be asking you the same question. I've never met a human with your strength." The cocky smirk on your lips really reminded Leo of Raph.

"I was born like this, comes in handy when douchebags like that try to take advantage of other people." you gestured to the unconscious bandits.

"But you guys, you're those vigilantes that have been running around, I heard talk. But I thought it was just a rumor." you stared, and they were still standing at a distance.

"Michelangelo at your service." The one in orange said with a grin bowing. You smile a little, eyes falling back on purple.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" Leo expected more of a reaction, you were taking it pretty well.

"Please, I'm from Central City, I've seen weirder stuff. Sorry about the stomach punch. You just really surprised me. "

Leo sheathed his blades slowly. "It's alright. I'm Leonardo."

"Name's (Y/N), nice to meet you."

And that was the beginning of a very interesting partnership.

~~~

"What are you working on handsome." Donnie almost dropped his magnifying glass, clearing his throat and stepping away. You just smiled, watching the way he nervously fidgeted with the items on the desk.

"I-I'm fixing the cameras we have set up around the city. After the power outage, a few of them went out. It's important that I keep them running."

You weren't sure how long it had been. Weeks, probably months. After your meeting, you started working with the turtles. At first, you were a bit skeptical. Because even though they seemed like good guys, it wasn't in your nature to trust strangers. But as you continued on your night trips protecting the city, you kept running into them. So eventually, you all teamed up. It worked out pretty well too. You gained a family, at least now you weren't out there on your own anymore. You were strong, but not invincible. It was nice having back up.

Mikey was a very interesting individual. Raph, he was like your twin brother. You both loved breaking stuff, and pissing off Leo.

Donnie, well he was something else. Maybe it was his intelligence, or his adorable shyness. Or even those nerdy glasses. Whatever it was, it had you hooked. You always enjoyed being in the lair, because it meant more time making Donnie flustered. He always got nervous at your advances, and you absolutely loved his reactions.

Pure gold.

"Since you're so good at fixing stuff, I have a little problem of my own." That caught his attention, he placed the items down, giving you his full attention. You could already see him flipping on his goggles and scanning you for any internal problems.

"I can't seem to find anything wrong with you. Your vitals are functioning as normal. Heart rate steady, blood pressure moderate, lung capacity-" you took a step forward, and he backed up against the desk in surprise. "It's not that kind of problem." you whisper. He pulled his goggles off, swallowing.

"W-What k-kind of p-problem is it?"

"There's this guy, I've been trying everything, but I can't get him to make a move.." you bit your lip, staring into his beautiful emerald eyes. "What do I do.." You had him trapped between you and the desk, no chance of him running off like all the other times. At his height, he had to look down. You were standing on your toes to match his height. When your eyes flickered to lips, he nearly had a heart attack.

"(Y-Y/N)!"

"Yes." Donnie wasn't sure what to say. All those days spending with you, he thought flirting was just in your nature. But now that he thought about, you were never like this with any of his other brothers.

"Maybe she really does.." he shook his head, banishing the thought. He was a mutant, and you were human. In no world would such a relationship work out. Besides, you weren't serious about it. To you this was probably just a good pastime.

"Donnie?" You could tell something changed. His eyes lowered to the floor, and he took you by the shoulders, gently pushing you back.

"I have to get back to work." He didn't look at you, just headed for his room. You just watched him go, feeling crummy. You wrapped your hand around your body a bit self consciously. He must have really not liked you to just push you away like that. "Whatever, I don't care." If he really wasn't interested, you would just give up. It wasn't worth the heartache, honestly.

~~~

"We have to be careful this time. Their security is a lot better than what we've dealt with so far. All we're doing is immobilizing the men, Lieutenant Vncent is going to handle the rest." You nod at Leo's instructions, pulling the black mask over your eyes.

"Let the games begin."

Everyone started to fall out, and as you moved to jump down the building, Donnie offered you a hand. You just brushed it off, doing a backflip and landing easily on your feet at the bottom. "I've got it." you muttered in annoyance. It was bad enough he basically rejected you last time, but he wanted to act like the whole thing didn't happen.

The entire time you were beating yourself up. You weren't the most beautiful person in the world, but hell you weren't ugly either. Maybe he was just used to being around people like April. There was no way you could compare to that.

Your current mission was to shoot down a weapon transport. A bunch of criminals thought it was a good idea to start operating off Shredder's old territory. Idiots.

NYPD intercepted a deal that was about to take place, and of course Leo offered his assistance. So here you all were at an old construction site.

From your spot you could see a car pull up, and Leo signalled to the others who were already surrounding the building. You all had been there for half an hour. Leo wanted to get everyone of them. So when Donnie clarified that the last of them were there, they sneaked inside. You followed Leo, ducking and slipping through a half broken door on the other side.

"Are you sure this is top notch, my boss will be pissed if you don't deliver on your deal." The thugs were discussing the merchandise, while Raph and Mikey were quietly taking out the body guards set up at different points around the building. You almost let out a laugh when you saw the one Raph grabbed from not too far away. It looked so comical. He caught your eyes, smiling and giving a thumbs up. You just shook your head. When Leo nodded, you realized now it was safe to show yourself.

"Boys, boys, boys." you spoke catching all their attention. They spun around drawing their guns.

"Uh uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you." The man in front of you started laughing.

"This kid thinks she can come here and takes us down. Run home to your mommy brat." You frowned.

"That's no way to talk to a lady." You pulled out the tonfas strapped at the sides of your boots with a grin.

"Let's have a little fun shall we." you grinned. When you ran straight at them they started firing and you blocked every bullet easily. You could hear the bullets bouncing off the metal, and as you got close enough, you swiped, taking down the first male. He grunted, gun flying from his palm as he crashed to the floor.

Leo came down, tying up the last bodyguard. "I thought I said no theatrics, in and out (Y/N)." you shrugged your shoulders when Leo raised his fist, knocking out the man who tried to sneak up behind him. "Couldn't help myself." you laughed when he rolled his eyes, turning to the remaining men who were just standing there in fear.

Raph and Mikey finally joined you in the main area.

"Ready for some turtle butt kicking!!" Mikey hollered. One of the guys right in front of him dropped his gun that had run out of ammo. He screamed out, running straight at Mikey, and you laughed when he knocked into his chest falling back on the ground. Mikey didn't even have to lift a finger, he knocked himself out.

"Woah..no hands!"

You giggle, falling out to deal with any men that might have gotten away. Leo was checking the area doing the same. Pretty soon you could hear the police sirens. Probably Lieutenant Vincent.

As you got to the back, you could see Donnie bounding an unconscious man. He raised when he heard you walking closer. "I think that's the last of them." He spoke. You nod, and as you opened your mouth to tell him that it's about time to leave, you catch a red dot at the back of his head. Your eyes widen. "DONNIE! Your scream alerts him that something is wrong, and he doesn't register the problem, because your body collides with his roughly and the sound of a gun firing echoes.

You both hit the floor roughly, and Donnie takes a moment to catch himself. When he sees the blood, his heart stops cold. You're lying on the floor, unmoving. Another bullet goes off and this time he can tell where, blocking it with his bo staff. He catches the assailant through the broken glass, he's trying to reload his weapon. Donnie taps on the gadget on his shoulder, and the small drone disengages from his backpack, firing off in the direction of the sniper. The man doesn't have a chance to get a next shot, because the robot lands on his shirt and releases an electric current. Painful yells fill the area before he hears the thud of his body. Now that the threat is gone, Donnie turns back to you. Raph and the others finally show up, all yelling out for you and Donnnie. When they get there the shock and fear is obvious.

"Is she.." Mikey's voice breaks, blue almost shaking.

"Get her to Vincent, Now!" Leo doesn't mean to be harsh, he's just as scared as everyone else. But if they waste time panicking, then there's a chance it'll be too late. He knows Vincent will do all in her power to save you. Donnie lifts you into his arms, and he can see the bullet wound. It's in your stomach. He ignores it, now isn't the time. As he rushes off, all he can think is how much he regrets not answering your question that day. He'd give anything to do it right now, because there is a chance that there won't be a later.

~~~

"There's no need to worry. The doctors say she'll make a full recovery. " Leo's not sure he's ever held his breath that long. After speeding you to the hospital, all four turtles were waiting anxiously on the roof, hoping that you were fine. Lieutenant Vincent has just provided them with the good news, and now it feels like they can breathe easy.

"The bullet went right through, and thankfully it didn't hit anything vital. It might take her a while, but I suggest she take a break from the crime fighting for the time being." Leo can't agree more, and Vincent gives him a reassuring pat on the arm.

"Great work today." she says softly. She nods to the rest of them, turning and heading for the staircase. As the door closes behind her, they all let out a sigh.

"Thank goodness." Mikey mumbles. Usually he's ready with a witty joke, but at the moment, he can't really think of one, so he drops down on his butt, all the stress of waiting finally gone.

"S-She saved my life." Donnie whispers. At the point in time he kept going over why you would do something so reckless. He had his shell for protection, surely a bullet would have been nothing to him. But after he calculated the angle of the shot, it made sense. The sniper was attempting a head shot. That would have definitely killed him.

"Why do ya sound so surprised. Of course she would. " Raph knows you'd do it for any of them in a heartbeat. "She'd risk her life for anyone of us, especially you dumnut."

There's more to the statement that he realizes, and when he looks over at Raph, Donnie understands.

"She cares about ya a lot. Maybe if ya took ya head out of those computers you'd see it. " Raph doesn't say much more, he turned his back, running and jumping unto the other building. There isn't much they can do now but wait for your recovery. Leo pats Donnie's shoulder, following after Raph. Mikey isn't too far behind. Donnie stands there for a moment, processing all that's happened. This is one situation he can't solve with logic. That's for sure.

~Four Weeks Later~

"For the last time I'm completely healed up. So when can I get back out there?" you give Leo the biggest puppy eyes you can muster. He just looks completely unimpressed.

"Donnie?" you gasped.

"W-Why are you asking Donnie! He's biased! I want a fair trial!" you demand.

"According to my statistics, your wound will heal more effectively if you refrain from any strenuous activity for the next two months. You'll be as healthy as a horse."

"TWO MONTHS ARE YOU SHITTING ME!!"

Leo just folds his arms. "You heard it, no activity for two months. " Leo is already walking off, and Splinter is standing in the background watching it all unfold. Deciding this is your last resort, you fire your puppy eyes at Splinter. "Pwease!" you push out your lips for maximum effect, and he just clears his throat.

"Donatello's statistics are usually very accurate." he turns quickly and your mouth just hangs open.

"Damn it!"

When you got out of the hospital, the boys were cautious, they babied you constantly at the beginning. For a while you liked it, especially having Donnie's attention. He was with you day and night, helping nurse you back to health.

At certain points you felt bad, because you knew he was just doing it because of a heavy conscience. It wasn't out of care, but guilt. Finally tired of being bed ridden, you were ready to get back out there. But they refused to let you.

You sent a glare at Donnie, storming off. This meant you were back to being stuck in the lair. When you got to Donnie's room you just wanted to punch something. With your strength you would most likely shatter it to pieces, so you refrained. You walked in, slowly trailing to the mirror. You just stared at your reflection for a while.

Reaching for the bottom of your shirt, you lifted it, watching the scar that was forming from the wound, just below your bust. "Stupid scar, I'm perfectly fine." you grumbled. When you heard the door close behind you, you jumped. Donnie was standing there, and you realized that he must have seen the wound. You shoved the shirt down hurriedly.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude, I was just checking to make sure you're okay. "

You frowned. You were done accepting his pity too. Now it just irritated you.

"You don't have to worry about me Donnie. I'm fine." you snarl.

"I know that you're angry but we're just trying to-"

"I-I don't care!" you shouted. You huffed, already at your last strand of patience.

"Y-You don't have to keep checking in on me. You don't have to pretend to care about me anymore okay. I didn't take that bullet just for you too feel sorry for me so you can stop now. "

"What are you saying of course I care about you."

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!!" you hated that you were yelling at him. He hadn't really done anything wrong. You couldn't force him to feel the same.

"It's not the same.." you mutter this time, and you can feel the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

"I love you Donatello. I-I've been in love with you for months.." you finally said it. No more flirting, or playful nudges. You flat out said it. You sobbed, unable to stop the tears now.

"W-When I saw that light on you I was so scared I thought I-I'd never get the chance to say that to you. I know you don't feel the same I just..I don't want your pity love. I want the real thing and I-" he crossed the floor, cupping your cheeks, and you breath stopped the moment his lips touched yours. Everything froze. Time, your body, your heart. It wasn't a deep kiss, just the brief touching of lips. As quickly as it happened, he pulled away, eyes searching yours.

"I do feel the same way, I-I just thought that it was impossible for you to actually feel that way. Not for someone like me."

"Someone like you..." What the hell did he mean by that.

"I'm a mutant (Y/N). I've gone over this inside and out. I've worked out every possible equation, and none of them seem to lead to this working out. I just thought it would be easier if I stopped it, before anything could happen. "

He was such a scientist.

"I don't care about equations Donnie, or what you are. All I care about is the guy I fell in love with. The sweet, intelligent, caring, sexy person that is Donatello. Nothing else matters to me."

He was blushing, you were sure of it. "Did I mention freaking adorable." you smiled when he avoided your eyes bashfully.

"All I really know is I want you Donnie, I've wanted you for so long." he gulped, and you raised, pulling him in for another kiss. This one was all want on your part. You could tell Donnie was struggling to keep up. Your hand pressed to his chest, and you could feel his heart racing under your fingertips. He jolted when he felt your hands sliding down. He pulled back just as you unlatched the panel at his waist. It dropped to the floor, and he stared at you, breathless.

"W-What are you doing!"

The look in your eyes wasn't one he was used to. It wasn't like the playful smirks you sent him when you were teasing. This was lust, yearning, longing..love.

"I want to feel you Donnie...every piece of you." you were reaching for him, hands going up and removing his goggles. He just stood there, watching as you slowly freed him of all his gadgets. All he managed to do was breathe. When they were all gone, you looked at him. You took his hand, placing it on your waist. You could feel the slight tremble in his hands. "It's okay Donnie, you can touch me.." he flexed his hand, checking to see if this was even real. The softness of your skin couldn't be an illusion. You slowly backed up, taking him with you to the bed. Climbing unto the mattress, Donnie followed, mesmerized by the look in your eyes.

"We don't have to go all the way...I just really want to feel you." He nodded, covering your body with his own, and this time he initiated the kiss. You hummed, loving every minute of it. He was careful not to apply to much of his weight. When you felt his hand going under your shirt, you swore you were on cloud nine. Shy nerdy Donnie's was finally taking the lead, and it was a million times better than you'd ever imagined. His hand was trailing up higher, and just before he could get to your bust, he stopped. You whined in disappointment. He pulled back, giving you a moment to catch your breath.

"I-Is this really okay?" you could tell he was still tentative.

"T-This is all happening so fast...m-maybe we should stop. Y-You're still recovering after all."

"Donnie please don't..."you bucked your hips into his, gasping when you felt him begin to harden. Since he was pressed right into you, it was almost impossible not to feel it. He lost his composure for a brief second, clenching his fist into the sheets.

"Don't stop.." you breathed. He apparently didn't need much more convincing. You could see the way his eyes were dilated. He wasn't going to back out again, not anymore. Now that he knew how much you wanted this, wanted him, he could finally give in. There was no need to protect himself, because your looks, it was all the convincing he needed. It was enough.

#donniexreader #michelangelo #leonardo #raphael #splinter #love #fear #mutnats #powerss #superstrength #fights #crimefighters #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #rebeccavincent #tmnt donatello #protective

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winryofresembool · 3 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 16

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Game night at Leo and Calypso's flat.

A/N: So sorry for the delay with this chapter, but better late than never, right? This chapter was both fun but also challenging to write, because I wasn't sure how much game description I can have without making it boring. I myself am a big Pokémon fan (among other things) so adding that was very self-indulgent of me, but I hope that even those of my readers who aren't that familiar with Pokémon will be able to enjoy this chapter. I tried my best to explain some of the most important terms in the author's note on ao3 so you can check that if you want to.

Now, please enjoy and let me know what you think! I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately so comments would really cheer me up! (Ps. since it's already Sunday, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to update next Thursday but I'll try)

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Piper, Jason, Annabeth, special guest appearance in the end ;)

Words: 2900+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

…

Saturday came and Leo still hadn’t heard anything from his professors, which he took as a bad sign. Maybe they were still considering if such a problem student would ever be able to go through the tough education. He hadn’t even talked to Jo and Emmie after the incident, claiming that he was currently busy but he’d call back when he had time. He was still determined to try to get over his fear because his flatmate believed in him and thought that he could do it. And if not for anything else, Jo and Emmie hadn’t adopted him just so he would waste the opportunity. Calypso and he had agreed to continue the training the upcoming week, but now, they had something different in their minds: the game night.

Jason and Piper arrived first. They brought their Switch, some games and snacks with them and seemed about as confident about winning their battles as Leo was. Annabeth had told the group she would be arriving a bit late as she had promised to tutor a pupil that afternoon but that arrangement suited everyone well since she wouldn’t be able to participate in the Pokémon tournament anyway.

The group decided to have three battles and the team winning two of them would win the whole competition. Unfortunately for Team Flatmates, Jason and Piper won the first battle quite clearly, causing Calypso to throw annoyed glances at Leo.

“Mister Pokémon Master, I thought you had a plan,” she growled at him while their opponents were highfiving each other.

Leo leaned closer to her, attempting his sneakiest expression: “Just trying to make them feel comfortable, Sunshine. And when they think they got it…”

“You’re either an evil genius or simply an idiot.” Calypso shook her head.

“Hey, what are you two whispering there?” Piper asked loudly from her seat. “One would think that you’re plotting something… Maybe even cheating.”

“Just a mandatory team meeting, Pipes. We don’t cheat. I feel offended that you’d even consider that.” Leo put his hand over his heart to feign innocence.

“Yeah, right,” Piper rolled her eyes. “We almost believe that.”

The second battle was much more even than the first one. In the end both teams were down to one Pokémon, but Leo’s Charizard was faster than Jason’s Magnezone and it managed to finish it off with one final Flamethrower.

“See, Sunshine, if it hadn’t been for my Charizard…”

“Oh my gods, Leo. You just happened to get lucky that Tyranitar’s Rock Throw missed it earlier. Otherwise you’d been done for.”

“Well, they say that even luck has to be deserved,” Leo smirked.

“So that’s what your strategy is?” Jason asked. “Luck?”

“Do I hear complaints? You guys just don’t respect the genius in his element.” Leo protested.

“Well, I guess the final battle will decide who really is a genius and who’s not,” Piper noted and that was the group’s cue to stop trash talking and continue playing.

...

Jason and Piper’s team got a strong start in the last battle. They took down two of Leo and Calypso’s Pokémon before they got any major damage done. But after that Leo showed that sometimes he did have luck on his side; he took a small risk by making Luxray use Thunder against Jason’s flying type and it was worth it. The attack didn’t miss this time and Braviary went down in one hit. After that Leo took another risk by telling Calypso to use a water type Slowbro against Piper’s grass type Lurantis. He had planned ahead though by using a move that made Slowbro faster than Lurantis, and his Pokémon also knew a fire type move Flamethrower, which caused Lurantis to go down after two hits.

From then on the battle progressed more evenly. Charizard and Venusaur were Leo and Calypso’s last Pokémon to stand against Piper and Jason’s Manectric and Umbreon. Calypso suggested they’d try to use Venusaur against Manectric but Leo claimed his Charizard might be able to beat it with one hit. He miscalculated, though. Manectric was still faster and its Discharge was enough to take the Charizard down. Calypso looked at Leo with a ‘what did I say’ expression and took over. Her Venusaur, which was resistant to electric moves, managed to win Manectric, and Calypso couldn’t hide her smug smile when Jason and Piper switched to their last Pokémon.

In advance the last match up seemed pretty even, apart from the fact that Venusaur had already taken a bit of damage in the previous battle. Both Pokémon kept slowly chipping the other one’s energy and then healing up again for a good while until finally, Venusaur got a critical hit with its Giga Drain and made Umbreon faint.

“YES!” Calypso yelled probably louder than Leo had ever heard her yell in the short time he’d known her. Before he had time to react, he felt her arms wrap around him.

“Woah! Someone’s excited.” Leo mumbled against her hair.

“Sorry,” Calypso blushed. “I may have overreacted a bit. But we did it!”

“A critical hit, huh? Those need some luck, don’t you think?” Leo asked her smugly once Calypso had removed her arms from around him.

“Yeah, I guess…” she said, wondering where he was going with his comment.

“I’d advise you to check Venusaur’s held item.” Leo winked and Calypso clicked Venusaur’s data open.

“Dire Hit?” she asked in disbelief. “Did you predict this would happen and that’s why you gave him that? To boost the critical hit ratio?”

“Well, I told you the luck has to be earned sometimes.” Leo’s grin was about as wide as it could get. Calypso didn’t know if she should punch him or hug him again. Her hand remained still in the mid air for a while before she finally decided to put it down, in the small gap between his and her thigh.

“You could have told me that earlier, you frustrating, evil…” She started scolding him.

“Yes? Finish your sentence, please.” Leo challenged, leaning a bit closer to her.

“Not genius,” she said quietly, not able to look him in the eyes.

“Has anyone ever told you guys you’re adorable?” Piper asked all of a sudden and it was then that the flatmates remembered that Jason and Piper indeed were in the room too. They flinched for a moment and then jumped farther from each other.

“Hey, what are you implying?” Leo casted an annoyed look at his friend.

“Pretty sure Mister Genius knows what I’m implying,” Piper said back and caused Leo to groan loudly.

“No way. No. We’re not… I mean I wouldn’t… She wouldn’t…”

“No one understands you, Leo,” Jason stopped his stuttering.

Leo wasn’t about to admit his defeat quite that easily, but luckily he was stopped by the buzzer. Annabeth had finally arrived and Calypso rushed to open the door, trying to put her poker face back on.

“Hi! Sorry I’m late, the pupil had quite a lot of questions this time,” Annabeth explained, glancing at the clock on the wall that showed that the four others had been playing for almost an hour already. “And of course Percy had lost his swimming goggles again and we were searching for them for at least 15 minutes. I promise to kick his butt for that later tonight.”

Calypso was still too distracted by the earlier situation to pay attention to the name Annabeth had mentioned.

“No worries, you probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway. The boys were getting a bit enthusiastic about Pokémon,” she told Annabeth.

“Excuse me, who was literally just screaming and glomping people because she won?” Leo retorted back and Annabeth chuckled at his reaction a bit.

“Hmm, to me it sounds like I’ve missed a lot.” She smirked. “Moving on, though, what are you guys thinking of doing next?”

“We were planning to play Mario Kart,” Calypso gestured towards the console, as she went back to her seat.

“And this time we won’t be playing in pairs so it should be interesting to see how these two will be behaving,” Piper meddled in.

Both Leo and Calypso pretended they didn’t hear her, instead starting to trashtalk each other.

“Okay, Repair Boy, let’s see how far luck will get you in this game.”

“Sunshine, if you think I need luck in Mario Kart… you’re as wrong as my middle school teacher who claimed that my jokes were bad and threw me out of the class just because of that.”

Jason had to disagree with that statement, though. “For me you told that that joke was about the teacher himself and that it was kind of inappropriate. So your teacher was right.”

Leo turned to Calypso. “Why did we invite these two again?” He nodded towards Piper and Jason. “They’re ruining my stories.”

“I think they are just telling the truth,” Calypso chuckled.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see who laughs last when they win this contest.”

“Alright, children,” Annabeth stopped them. “This is fun to listen to but I think the only way to find out who really can play is to play.”

“Annabeth’s right, as usual,” Piper said too. “Let’s do it.”

The friends shared the remote controls and put the game on. Before they got to the character picking, though, Calypso confessed something.

“I have to admit that I haven’t played this game before. Well, I haven’t played most of the games before. Pokémon was easy for me to understand because it’s one of the few games I did play as a kid.”

“Wait… what?” Leo turned to her, his eyes wide. “You have only ever played that game as a kid and did that well?

“You created the team, I only picked what felt good in that moment.” Calypso waved it off. “Without that Dire Hit…”

“Looks like progress has been made between those two,” Annabeth whispered to Piper who snorted at her comment.

“One could say that,” she said with amusement.

“Alright, guys, let’s focus on the relevant things here. It’s time to pick your characters.” Jason ordered and the others had to listen to him. Leo picked Mario, Calypso Princess Daisy, Jason and Piper Toad and Toadette and Annabeth Yoshi (she claimed it reminded her of her boyfriend). Leo had to instruct Calypso briefly on the functions of the remote control for this specific game, but after that the group was ready.

It took Calypso a while to learn to use the remote control but Leo had to give it to her, she really gave it her all. In the first race she was the last, but she slowly started getting better until finally she was fourth, managing to win Piper while Leo, Jason and Annabeth were still better.

“At this rate you’ll win the guys before they notice it,” Annabeth complimented Calypso. “But don’t expect me to be as easy as they are.”

“How are you that good?” Calypso asked her, knowing she had meant what she had said.

“I guess I just do a lot of things that develop my hand-eye coordination; I draw, play some sports, and believe it or not, my mom also wanted to make sure I’d be good at knitting and weaving so she started teaching me at a young age. Now I haven’t seen her in a long while but I’m still trying to maintain the skill.” Annabeth shrugged.

“In that case, I’m going to continue my hobbies too. Imagine seeing Leo and Jason’s faces when we both win them,” Calypso said, causing the boys to protest.

“The next Cup will decide who wins, OK?” Jason tried to solve the situation after some bickering between the parties.

“Fine,” the girls agreed, but Leo’s face told that he was very ready to show Calypso who the teacher was.

By the last race of the Cup Annabeth was in a clear lead, Jason was second, leading Leo with 5 points, Leo third and somehow Calypso had sneaked to the fourth place 7 points from Leo. In the last round of the last race Leo was leading, others close behind him, when Jason managed to get a blue shell, shooting it at his friend’s car.

“Hey! That’s so unfair!” Leo yelped as he watched his car getting knocked over. Unfortunately for Annabeth, he was situated on the road in a way that she had to slow down a bit when she passed him, but Calypso and Jason had the space to drive on the full speed on the other side of the road. They were already close to the finish line and if the track had been any longer, the race would probably have ended differently, but Leo didn’t have enough time to bounce back after the collision. Jason ended up winning the last race, Calypso being the second, which meant she gained seven points more than Leo did. That, on the other hand, meant that they ended up with exactly the same amount of points in the Cup.

After Leo said a couple of quiet curse words in Spanish, he dared to look at Calypso from the corner of his eye. She was looking at him too and seemingly trying to figure out what she should tell him. He wasn’t able to stay mad after that.

“Guess we’ll be on the podium together,” he went first.

“Yeah,” Calypso nodded. “Hey, you’re not a half bad teacher.”

“Half bad?” A smile spread on Leo’s face. “Hey, guys, did you hear that? Coming from Calypso, that was a big compliment!”

“I can also take it back, if you want,” she said calmly but couldn’t stop herself from smiling as well.

“Good game, Cal,” both Annabeth and Piper told her, giving her high fives.

“Thank you! Next time, I’ll even try to challenge the champion.” Calypso nodded towards Annabeth.

“Good luck with that!” she responded. “I promise I won’t go easy on you.”

“I wouldn’t want that,” Calypso said before turning her attention back to the screen again.

Silence fell into the room as the group watched the award ceremony. Annabeth’s Yoshi rose to the highest podium, Jason’s Toad followed and Leo and Calypso’s Mario and Princess Daisy shared the third one.

“We don’t look that bad together, huh?” Leo noted while drumming his fingers in the same rhythm as the background music. At first he didn’t realize there was anything weird in his words, but the others’ chuckling and Calypso’s pink cheeks woke him up.

“Hu-huh?” she asked, flustered.

“I mean… our characters! They look pretty neat!” He yelped and folded his arms. The others had to bite back their smiles but Piper decided to be kind and change the topic.

“So, we’ve played Pokémon and Mario Kart now… what next?”

Calypso seemed relieved by her question. “I forgot to mention I prepared some presents for the top three! I made some cupcakes and I thought the winner would get three, the second one two and the third one… Don’t worry, Piper, I think I should have one extra cupcake in the fridge.”

“You wouldn’t have had to, I could have eaten Jason’s extra,” Piper said but accepted the cupcake nevertheless when Calypso started sharing them.

Leo wasn’t very willing to give up on his cupcake that he was supposed to share with Calypso.

“So you had an extra cupcake but we still have to share?”

“You already ate one last night! And I don’t have more of them with the frosting right now, the rest are in the freezer.” Calypso protested.

“Such a cold hearted woman,” Leo muttered and snatched the last cupcake from the plate. Calypso didn’t have time to stop him before he had already split the bottom part in half with a knife that had been resting next to the plate. Then he put the other half on the top of the cake and took a huge bite of it.

“Leonidas, what are you doing?!” she exclaimed and tried to reach the cupcake in his hand.

“Eating my share, of course!” he said as he stuffed more of the cake into his mouth.

Calypso was prepared for Leo to run away from her like he had the other day after the chili incident but to her surprise he stayed in one spot. Leo started laughing at her baffled expression.

“Open your mouth,” he ordered her, putting the remains of the cupcake near her face.

“What?” Calypso asked, not expecting that reaction.

“What what, do you think I won’t give you your share of the cupcake? You deserved it!” he said, his eyes gleaming mischievously.

“But you bit that already!” Calypso tried to protest.

“Are you 8? I can always cut this in half with this knife if that’s what you want.”

“Fine,” she finally said, waiting for Leo to finish the cutting before letting him feed her. They didn’t notice that Piper was whispering something to Annabeth and Jason. The group seemed to agree about something, but their whispering was interrupted when there was a knock on the front door.

“That’s probably just Percy, he must have gotten out of his practice by now.” Annabeth said and went to open the door.

“Hi, I tried to call you but I guess you didn’t hear your phone or something,” a male voice could soon be heard in the hallway. “Someone let me in downstairs while I was… you?”

Everyone was now able to see the newcomer who stopped in his tracks when he recognized Calypso. She had frosting all over her face, Leo’s hand on her shoulder when she turned to look at him. “Percy?”

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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alextriestowritestuff · 4 years

Text

Blood Of Olympus Read W/ Me

This was the worst book of the series by far. I almost didn’t finish it. I think my thoughts are going to be rather short but they’ll still be below the cut for spoiler reasons. There will also be Trials of Apollo spoilers so I highly suggest not reading this if you haven’t caught up with those books! Let’s get into it.

I’d like the start by saying what I like: Nico/Reyna POV. I loved their relationship (which I didn’t see coming at all) it was very big sis-little bro vibes. I love that Nico finally found a place and his budding relationship with Will. What’s funny is though I knew Will would be his love interest (You can’t avoid them in fanfic at all) I thought he’d be more like super sunshine/super happy and that would contrast with Nico’s emo nature. But he was just chill and was like Nico, stop being a dumbass, we’re friends. I think fanfic gave me a different impression of what he’d be like (Granted I never read the fics, just summaries) and I was surprised that he was not like that. It’s not bad or good, just pointing it out.

Oh and Nico telling Percy he liked him and Percy just being like ‘say what?’ I didn’t expect Nico to actually fess up to that one but Percy’s reaction was gold.

The best moment in this book is Reyna taking down Orion by herself. She was that BITCH. Correct me if I’m wrong but the only other person who defeated a giant by themselves was Percy right? In the Battle of Labyrinth when he fights Antaeus? I think Antaeus was a half-giant though because Percy, a demigod, managed to kill him without the help of a god. Anyway, Reyna was everything in that scene. Oh I lied, he took down Polybotes too. They’d be unstoppable together (though I love Percabeth). She was about to sacrifice herself too!! What a queen. I respect the crap out of her. UM Jason you really picked the wrong girl lmao.

I appreciated the Thalia cameo (because again, I didn’t re-read the Lost Hero so I haven’t seen her since the last time I read the PJO series) and the mention of Zoe. I hope Kenzie didn’t really die though, I liked her.

And that’s all the good I have to say about it. Now for the bad...so much bad.

So after thinking about it, I realize that what makes HoO so different from its predecessor series is that there’s no consequences. The closest we got to consequences was Annabeth and Percy falling into Tartarus because they weren’t saved in time. No one important (protagonist/good guys side) died. Leo was resurrected (And I looked it up and found out that he came to Camp in the Trials of Apollo series so everyone knows he’s alive). Even for the Tartarus one, we didn’t even get a PTSD arc. It would’ve been helpful to have Percy or Annabeth’s POV in this book to wrap up that subplot. Instead we get two lines about their time in Tartarus and when Percy brings it up, Annabeth tells him not to mention it. So no PTSD arc. Got it. But we can just casually mention that Octavian committed suicide (which I don’t care for that ending at all). Right.

The HoO books are boring because there’s no consequences. I never felt true fear apart from Percy/Annabeth being in Tartarus. In the Last Olympian, mortals were put to sleep, Annabeth was gravely injured, Silena and Beckendorf died. Luke and Ethan died. There was no magical save for them. Blood of Olympus had NO stakes, coupled with a weak, slightly developed new characters made it a bad series imo. It also doesn’t deliver on the questions posed in the book.

Hazel’s curse is still active, no descendant of Neptune has taken it away. I read the wiki summary for every book of the Trials of Apollo (The last one isn’t out yet) and there’s no mention of her curse being lifted. I think Frank’s stick is resolved imo being that it’s safe in the fireproof pouch but for some readers, they don’t think that’s resolved. Kym told Percy he’d have to face his fatal flaw. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t feel as though he did. Percy also never helped Leo find Calypso but Ig that’s null because he never got the chance to. Also is Black Jack, Frank’s grandmother, Hylla okay? Orion said Hylla got away but I was hoping for another cameo.

Let’s talk about the villains/the entire quest of the Seven. The quest was boring, Nico/Reyna/Hedge’s quest was 100x more interesting and they were transporting a freaking statue. The quest of the Seven was fight this minor god/villain who is working for Gaea who promised them something (Even Jason has a line where he makes fun of this), outsmart/fight them, get to Athens where all the monsters are. Percy and Annabeth’s blood awakens Gaea. The gods come down which makes me angry because most of them weren’t helpful throughout the series. Poseidon wasn’t in this series at all. He didn’t even send a symbol or talk to his son who went missing. I’m pissed that the battle against Gaea wasn’t even in Athens! I’m pissed that they got slapped to New York, like what? The gods really couldn’t poof them back there, they gave some excuse but it was still bs. But I guess Rick needed Argo II to get back to NY so Leo can turn festus back into a dragon. But anyway, the gods come down, the demigods work with to defeat the giants in less than two pages. The giants that were poised as a massive threat for four books straight. Defeated in mere minutes. We don’t even get a cool battle description, they just hack and slash at them and they’re dead. Huh?

Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, and Frank were reduced to background characters and I understand they don’t have a POV but I never felt that characters who didn’t have a POV in a certain book were ever forgotten/not utilized. They didn’t really get to do anything.

We also don’t really see the Roman and Greek gods all that much. I know they’re the same people, different Greek and Roman personalities. But like I thought their Roman side could be seen a bit more but they were having difficulty maintain one persona throughout the whole series. I can tell you what the Greek gods are like and how they interact w/ each other based on the throne room scenes/anytime they help demigods in PJO/HoO. But Roman gods as whole? I can’t tell you how they even interact with each other.

But wait, it gets worse. There’s not even a formal recognition thing like there was at the end of the Last Olympian (where Percy is offered godhood and Annabeth is given position of architect) there’s a little meeting with the gods and the Seven in which Jason is like give minor gods shrine and the gods aren’t really all that interested in what he has to say. There’s no thank you demigods. No, thanks Annabeth and Percy for literally going through Tartarus and Hazel for sacrificing yourself at 13 back in the 1940s. And the rest of them sacrificed something too. Like damn, no wonder why Luke was always like the gods don’t care about their kids.

Gaea was built up to be a big bad (honestly not really, she talked trash the entire time/sent people to do her work) and the woman is easily overpowered by the three demigods. She’s not even awake for 20 minutes and she goes down. WHAT??

Overall, it was anti-climatic and totally did a 180 on everything else established in this series-the fact that Gaea was such a major foe and turned out not to be (that SEVEN demigods had to take her down, not just 1 like Percy’s prophecy) and the giants were to be feared too but they get taken down. At 200 pages in, I dead ass wanted to DNF, it was so boring. I gave it a one star because although the good I mentioned was really great, it doesn’t save the book. So for me, this series had every book be 3 stars or under except House of Hades. 5 books and I only really was able to like one and get through it easily and it still had issues. Like what?

Lastly, I want to touch on Jason. I still think he’s bland though I appreciated him giving Nico a hug at the end there. Again from ToA/being spoiled over the years, I learned that Jason died and I won’t be reading ToA but I read the summary of the book where he died and um, wow. I don’t feel anything for his death but the fact that he and Piper broke up sent me into a laughing/anger rage. Laughing because they really said ‘I love you’ at the end of BoO and they didn’t even make it a year lmao. And the fact that PIPER, miss always insecure in her relationship with him, McLean broke up with HIM. WOOOOOW. But it made mad because I listened to her complain/fawn over Jason for 4 freaking books (not counting tSoN) for NO REASON cuz they ended up breaking up. Overall, I appreciated what Jason, Hazel, Frank, and Piper did in the HoO series because they were helpful but I couldn’t connect with their characters. I’ll admit that in BoO we got a little bit more bonding between characters which is what I asked for in my last read with me and I like the Percy/Jason scene underwater and Piper/Annabeth scene from the beginning. I do think some relationships were summarized when they could’ve been shown--i.e. Annabeth/Reyna/Piper friendship but they have potential.

The bonding was good, it was just too late. It should’ve happened in MoA/HoH as well. Random but I also hate how Leo was treated (esp. by Jason and Piper) throughout the series and I’m glad he got out of that mess. He was reduced to a deus ex mechanic and that wasn’t cool. The Seven wouldn’t have been able to do this quest without him.

Sooo I guess this is it. I don’t think I’m going to read another Rick Riordan book again unless I hear something drastic happens to Percy or Annabeth/Any of the PJO characters and Reyna. I’m strongly reconsidering removing him as my fav author. I still love the PJO series but this one was not it. I don’t know if Rick was on a tight deadline for these HoO books but it was just poorly executed. I don’t regret reading the series, I think reading HoH was worth all the time I spent reading this series. I wish I had just read a summary of tSoN and MoA, especially because I already read them years ago and knew I wasn’t into them from my first read. I wasted my own time by doing that. So if I had done that I would’ve gotten to just read HoH and then only be disappointed by BoO as opposed to three books. It is what it is. It’s nice to be in the loop because I always see these things about HoO characters and spoilers so now I know how it went down.

But that’s it guys, thank you for reading this entire thread and the ones before it. I have a lot of opinions and I don’t think I’m in the minority by saying I didn’t like this series overall. I will get back to my writeblr content and I will leave you guys with my final ratings for the series (My rating system may seem generous compared to my read with me thoughts but I personally don’t give less than 3 stars to books that plot wise made sense. It may not be the most compelling plot or have the best characters but if it made coherent sense, I have to give it at least a 3.) :

The Lost Hero: This score is based off of my original reading in 2012/2013 and my thoughts on the main characters in that book, I give this a 3/5 stars

The Son of Neptune: 3/5

The Mark of Athena: 2/5

The House of Hades: 4.5/5

The Blood of Olympus: 2/5

Worst book of the series: Mark of Athena (Blood Olympus is a close tie but the Nico/Reyna really saves it from this spot) and best book- House of Hades.

#blood of olympus #rick riordan #Percy Jackson #Jason Grace #HoO #Percabeth #read with me #writeblr #alextriestowritestuff #not writing

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fire-fira · 5 years

Note

I-I need more Lab Escape AU ;-;

I have another fic in the works (not yet done unfortunately), but! Since you asked I’ll give you a small preview of the newest fic and some information on the boys and their reality. I hope you enjoy, and I will gladly talk about them and this AU at length– so feel free to send in whatever questions or thoughts about them that you care to. n.n

(Getting and editing this screenshot took way longer than I want to admit. lol)

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PREVIEW:

The eldest winced, but otherwise chose to ignore the parts of the comment he didn’t approve of. “The point is, it’s dangerous. I know we want to get out, I know we want to leave and never come back, but there are a lot of ways it can gowrong.”

The youngest snorted. “We already have their shifts memorized. We know where the cameras are in here. So we time things right. We get out. We leave and don’t look back.”

“We don’t know outside of this room. Not well enough,” the eldest insisted. “All it would take is one misstep and then it would all be over. I don’t want to lose any of you.”

Claws dug into the nest, faintly scraping against the hard floor underneath as the second-eldest reined in a frustrated sigh with an effort. “Lenox. We don’t have a choice. If we leave we might lose one of us, but if we stay we’re not lookin’ at a ‘might be’—we’re lookin’ at a damn near guarantee. We can’t stay. If they’re gonna cut any of us open, then we need ta get out before that can happen.”

“And where will we go?” His panic was almost a choking thing, the sort of thing that made the eldest want to curl into a ball after huddling down for his own safety. Maybe if he’d been a different type of turtle he would have already withdrawn into his shell most of the way. Unfortunately that wasn’t something he was physically capable of. Even if he had been, with the wide gouge in his shell behind his left shoulder, how much physical safety it would have offered was questionable. And it wasn’t like trying to disappear into his shell would have kept the others safe the way he wanted them to be.

The third-eldest reached out to gently squeeze the eldest’s arm, reassuring. “None of us know. There’s no way to know, not while we’re here. But out there we have a better chance than we do in here.” He knew better than the other three what might happen if they didn’t leave, had a better understanding of what might be done to them in terms of the specifics— he was, after all, the one who had figured out how to read first before turning around and secretly teaching the others and had used his skills to skim through and piece together whatever he could whenever he got the opportunity. He was also the one who had figured out how to open the ventilation shaft and had crept around the facility more than once after the staff had left for the day.

The eldest choked back a worried whine. If only… If only they could go back to the way things used to be, before they had any idea… If only there was no risk of any of them being killed by the very people who claimed they wanted to protect them. They were the only four of their species that had been found, the only ones… When the eldest spoke, it was a choked whisper, forced out past the rapidly forming knot in his chest. They had been frozen long enough; their choices were to either move… or die. “Soon. I- I don’t know when. But soon.”

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WORLD/CHARACTER INFO:

For those not acquainted with this AU of mine, these are their names before Yoshi helps them change their names:

Leo – Lenox

Raph – Corsa

Donnie – Forsyth

Mikey – Verdi

Now then!The boys were found in an out-of-the-way corner of Central Park in this reality, soon after they were mutated and were still babies. They were kept together because it was pretty quickly obvious that they were social because they kept making noises at each other and expecting a response.

The scar/gouge on Leo’s shell is thanks to an incident when the boys were 6. One of the keepers was being a little too rough with one of his brothers and Leo’s knee-jerk reaction was to bite the guy’s arm as hard as he could, which wound up with him getting thrown against a wall way too hard in the guy’s efforts to get him to let go– and ultimately resulted in a severely cracked shell that lost a chunk in the course of healing. Leo has it in his head that he has to be the appeasing one and has to watch out for his brothers and their well-being, because he’s the one to regularly think of multiple scenarios and the ways they could go wrong, with various contingency plans just in case. The poor kid probably has anxiety.

Before they escaped, Raph took advantage of the fact that the staff assumed there was only so much language they could understand and thoroughly abused that fact as an excuse for having an absolutely horrendous mouth (with loads of ‘seemingly random’ strung-together vulgar phrases to make sure they wouldn’t clue in that he wasn’t just parroting). Like other versions, this Raph is one who likes/prefers to stand his ground and fight back– but he’s also highly aware of his weaknesses and so will do what he can to avoid a situation where he feels powerless. He keeps people at a distance with a lot of snapping, snarling, and bravado while also having the tendency to try to charge head-first at a problem (and damn the consequences), yet he’s got a gentle protective side that makes him want to push back against Leo’s worrying (even if he can’t see a way for things to play out that doesn’t match up with what Leo thinks might happen).

Donnie is an information SPONGE. He was the first to learn how to read (through lots of sneaky observation and carefully picking things apart in his mind) before turning around and teaching the other three, has trained himself to have a near-photographic memory (it was the easiest way for him to absorb any text he got access to when he usually only had a few moments to look), and was very easily bored out of his skull in their enclosure. There was one point where he was bored enough that he tried to climb to the top of their enclosure to get a better look at some of the detail on the ceiling and ended up slipping and breaking his left arm when he landed. He’s also the one who figured out how to open the ventilation shaft without being found out, which led the four of them to be more familiar with the complex as a whole than they otherwise would be (and was actually the source of him getting access to a lot more information). For Donnie knowledge is both power and something he’s felt starved for, so if he’s not careful and if someone doesn’t put the brakes on it fast enough, he could easily become obsessive and so absorbed in learning and information-gathering that he could completely neglect eating or sleeping, along with anything else.

Mikey is the bright ball of sunshine who manages to keep the other three from retreating and hiding or pushing themselves too far. He’s also leading the way in his hope that things will get better, and has been more willing than the other three to trust and take risks that the right people won’t harm them (like Yoshi). Because of his deliberately cheerful disposition he tends to be better equipped not to freeze in a given moment when it might be dangerous to, but he’s also extremely prone to nightmares and when he gets upset he’s prone to hiding. He’s also got a bad habit of trying to deny that anything is wrong with him because he feels like if he gives into his bad moods too much that he won’t be there for his brothers when they need him.

All four of them pushed the ultimate dad-button on Yoshi, and he gladly took them in the night he realized four terrified teenagers were hiding in the alley behind his home. He’s blind and lost his sight during the same incident that killed Tang Shen, though he can still see light and vague shapes of color. Part of his going to America in the first place was due to a falling out with his grandfather (both over who he married and that he refused to be an ‘appropriate’ heir to the clan). He runs a Shinto shrine and allows visitors to spend time in his gardens, and he’s often sought out for advice– all of which makes it easier for him to maintain the privacy of the non-public portion of his home. He rarely makes mention of his knowledge of martial arts or the fact that he was supposed to be his grandfather’s heir for the Hamato clan, unless he feels it’s worth mentioning.

April and Casey both will eventually meet the boys, but I haven’t figured out specifics yet.

#Leonardo #Raphael #Donatello #Michelangelo #Lab Escape AU #TMNT #TMNT AU #Hamato Yoshi #my fiction #long post #cake4ninja

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flightfoot · 5 years

Text

Memories of Godly Selfishness Ch. 6 - END

I tried not to think about where we were going or what we were going to do.

Two days ago, I’d received a prophecy indicating what I needed to do in order to defeat Python. I still wasn’t sure about what all of it meant - prophecies are almost NEVER that straightforward, something I’d grown quite annoyed about during my time as a mortal - but one part of it was clear: we needed Python’s skin.

I’d vaguely remembered the skin being left as a trophy last time I defeated Python. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with it. I didn’t wish for any reminders of that fight. I couldn’t just leave it there, though. One of my Oracles would reside there, and I didn’t want her to have to put up with a dead snake in the same room.

So I’d taken it back to Olympus and stuffed it... somewhere. I didn’t remember where, and I didn’t WANT to remember. Python haunted my thoughts enough without having his skin in my face.

I’d avoided my palace on Olympus for months after that. I just - I couldn’t sleep, knowing it was still around up there, knowing exactly where it was. I hung around Artemis a lot, wanting to do SOMETHING to keep my mind off of it.

Of course she figured out what I was doing. She’s my twin. As much as we drive each other crazy, we UNDERSTAND each other.

After another day of spending just a little too long hanging around her camp, she confronted me.

“Why are you avoiding Olympus?”

“Avoiding? I’m not avoiding anywhere. I just wanted to spend more time with these lovely ladies.”

Artemis turned her piercing eyes on me, her face set in her patented I-don’t-have-time-for-screwing-around expression.

Well, so much for that denial.

I sighed. “Look, I- I just don’t want to think about some stuff, okay? It’s easier when I’m down here, to just - forget for awhile.”

Her face softened. “It’s Python, isn’t it?”

“...No.”

She stared at me some more.

“Okay, fine, it is! I keep on thinking about the fight. I mean, I won super easily and quickly, there were no problems, it was easy. But I can’t stop thinking about it. No idea why.”

I could tell she didn’t believe me for a second, but she didn’t push. Well, not on how ‘easy’ it was, at least.There was no way she’d just leave it at that, though.

“Is there anything I can do to help? You should feel comfortable in your own palace.”

I bit my lip. On the one hand, I really didn’t want her to know that I was THIS affected just by having Python’s skin around. On the other hand, she was right, and I did want to be able to enjoy Olympus again. And as much as we teased each other, as much as we could argue, she wouldn’t make fun of me for this.

“...Python’s skin. Could you take it somewhere else? Somewhere safe, but where I won’t run across it?”

It was basically an admission of how much Python had affected me, something I didn’t even want to admit to myself. But if that knowledge was safe with anyone, it was with Artemis (and Leto of course. She would understand, but I didn’t want to bring back her own memories of Python.)

“Ok. Just tell me where it is. It’ll be gone and safely hidden by the end of the day.”

So I told her the location. Sure enough, by the end of the day, the snakeskin was gone.

I’d collapsed right then and there. It was GONE. I didn’t need to think about it anymore. Artemis had taken care of it. It wasn’t here.

So when the prophecy had called for Python’s skin, I’d immediately sought out my sister’s Hunters. I couldn’t see my sister, but it was entirely possible that they would know where it was.

Then I remembered who her current lieutenant was.

Thalia Grace.

My blood turned to ice.

I’d talked to her a few months ago, at Camp Jupiter. I’d needed to tell her that her brother was dead.

She already knew, of course. My sister may not be able to visit in person right now, but she could get away with visiting her lieutenant in a dream.

It was worth the risk anyway. Thalia needed to know.

So by the time I’d told her, she already knew.

She hadn’t wanted to believe it. She’d tried to tell herself it was just a dream, but she knew better. And one look at my face had confirmed it.

Telling her what happened... that Jason KNEW he was going to die, that he TOLD me it would happen, and I STILL let him come... I hadn’t thought I could feel any worse about Jason’s death than I already did. I should’ve known better.

She only punched me once, surprisingly enough.

We’d avoided each other after that. I needed to give her space to process, and she REALLY didn’t want to see me. When we had interacted, she’d been coolly stand-offish, saying the bare minimum necessary, and then leaving the area.

So when I’d told her that we needed to retrieve Python’s skin, neither of us were too happy about it. Still, the way her eyes had hardened when I’d mentioned it, and the way her snippiness had increased... there was something more going on.

Something I should know.

I groaned. Curse my faulty mortal memory! Or at least, I’d LIKE to curse it. But a nagging sensation in the back of my head whispered Don’t think about it. Don’t remember.

Last time I’d felt anything like this, I’d been repressing my memory of Agametheus’s death, of refusing to listen to my son’s pleas. Whatever memory I’d repressed this time was much, MUCH worse.

We needed to retrieve the skin as soon as possible, and with the way travel had become difficult (which I was pretty worried about. Is something wrong with Hermes?) we needed to use a more unconventional mode of transport.

Unfortunately, Leo and Festus weren’t at Camp Half-Blood when we received the prophecy.

Fortunately, Nico Di Angelo was.

It seemed that Nico’s range and stamina had increased quite a bit from the last time I’d seen him. He’d volunteered to take Meg, Thalia, and I to our destination, some kind of ruins in Virginia.

At that point Will had cut in, “Not without me.”

Nico had opened his mouth, looking like he might try to protest, but Will just said, “Nope. Nico, I love you, but you have NO self-preservation instincts, and the last time you transported people across the country, you nearly faded into shadow. Coach Hedge helped keep you alive last time. This time, I’M going to be your healer.”

And with that Nico’s jaw clicked shut and he nodded.

I should have felt elated. I was getting to spend more time with one of my children and my future son-in-law! And I WAS happy about that.

Yet a dark coil of dread filled my stomach. Whatever was waiting for us at the ruins, I didn’t want Will to see it. Will was right though, Nico needed him, and we needed Nico. I couldn’t protest. Whatever was causing this guilt and dread, Will would find out about it too.

Three shadow-jumps and two days later, we arrived at our destination. Will had insisted on taking a little more time than was strictly necessary to rest, so that Nico would still have some energy left over in case we needed to leave in a hurry.

We manifested in the middle of a traffic circle. Of course, no mortals noticed us. The Mist was able to hide a gigantic metal dragon, hiding five teenagers emerging from shadows was a cakewalk by comparison.

Thalia looked over at a nearby statue of Robert E. Lee. I heard her mutter, “We’re close.” I didn’t know whether she was talking to herself or us.

She strode forwards, very purposely not looking at me, nor anyone else for that matter. I looked closely at her face as we walked. She’d been stony-faced through the whole journey here, which I’d assumed was her way of keeping her composure after finding out about Jason’s death. After finding out that she’d be traveling with me. With the person responsible for sending Jason on the quest he’d died trying to complete.

But now. Now her expression had cracked. Her eyes screwed up slightly, and her eyes appeared wetter than normal. She had a personal history with wherever we were about to go - wherever Python’s skin was. Judging by her expression, it wasn’t a happy one.

The dread and guilt doubled, pressing down on me. I stumbled.

“Apollo!” Meg cried.

“I’m- I’m okay,” I choked out.

That was a lie. But what could she do? I didn’t know what was wrong, and whatever it was, I doubted she could help me. My sins were my own. I’d faced myself, faced my ignorance, my apathy, my casual cruelty on many past occasions.

I’d seen the way I’d threatened to murder innocent demigods and satyrs, just because I was panicking. Heck, I’d threatened to murder Grover just because he scratched my lyre on a quest I FORCED on him and Percy!

That fear in Leo’s eyes as he frantically tried to redirect my panic away from murder-mode... the stammer in Grover’s voice as he wilted under my gaze... I never wanted to see or hear them again. I wanted to be loved, not feared. At least I’d made some progress towards that, at the satyr school.

I smiled briefly. Those three young satyrs, Fern, Aster, and Wren, had started off being terrified of me. Yet I’d gotten them to open up, to see that I wouldn’t hurt them. I’d changed their perception of me, even now, as a mortal. I’d made a change. I hadn’t needed to regain my throne first to make a difference.

For some changes, I WOULD need to regain my throne first. The other gods weren’t allowed to talk to me currently, and I NEEDED to talk to them. We needed to change our attitudes towards mortals - towards demigods - towards our FAMILY. There was only so much I could do on my own.

The flashback of Otis and Ephialtes had shown me how uncaring the other gods could be towards the demigods’ plight, even when we needed their help and their survival. Bacchus had refused to help the demigods until they’d ‘proven’ themselves. Percy had even given him a MASSIVE tribute, and yet he STILL only deigned to help after Percy and Jason had nearly died ‘entertaining’ him. And he had the nerve to claim credit for the defeat of the Giant twins afterwards! Bile rose in my throat as I remembered Bacchus’s words, “Being a god has its privileges.” Yes, and those privileges apparently included being a terrible person who’d just WATCH while two brave young teenagers desperately fought against enemies they couldn’t possibly defeat without help. Their lives didn’t matter. They were disposable.

Meg shot a concerned look at me. Abruptly, I noticed that I was shaking, my fist clenched so hard my knuckles had turned white.

I shot her a small smile and tried to relax. I didn’t want to have to explain my thoughts.

I turned my thoughts back towards my previous flashbacks, this time being more careful not to betray my feelings in my body language.

Things had to change. I couldn’t, I WOULDN’T let my godly brethren continue as they had. If I had to argue with them every day, I would. If I had to intervene myself to keep the demigods, OUR CHILDREN, safe, I would. Maybe I couldn’t fix everything, but I’d damn well TRY.

I didn’t really think I’d have to do it all alone, though. During the flashback I’d experienced with Percy, Annabeth, and Meg of Kronos’s defeat, I’d seen Percy’s conversation with Hermes.

Hermes had understood the worth of mortals. He’d cared about Luke SO MUCH, even knowing his future. But fate couldn’t be denied...

I gasped. Thankfully, my friends’ attention were on our surroundings, not on myself.

Fate couldn’t be denied. Terrible things happened to those who tried. When I’d thought about that during the conversation with Percy and Hermes, a mental block had slammed down. That same mental block reappeared this time, but something told me it had something to do with our destination, with the ruins and the snakeskin that were waiting for us there.

I couldn’t do anything about that now. The mental block wasn’t budging. I’d just have to wait until we got to the ruins to see why it had triggered.

I cast my mind back to Hermes. He’d looked at Percy with something akin to wonder when Percy had stated that the gods could change. He’d WANTED to change, he just hadn’t truly believed he could. We’d all fooled ourselves for so long, thinking we were unchanging, unable to grow. Yet he had. I had. Heck, even a Titan and a Giant had! Being immortal didn’t stop us from changing for the better. I would make sure we continued to change for the better, to make things better for those we always should have protected.

Those flashbacks had been painful, but they’d shown me things I needed to know. However painful the reason for this block, I needed to know.

I snuck a look at my companions. I wasn’t alone. I knew that now. I had friends. I could do this.

I steeled myself as we walked forwards.

We arrived at the ruins a few minutes later.

Well, ‘ruins’ was being a bit generous. There wasn’t a wall still standing. I knelt down and felt the ash at my feet.

“Greek Fire,” I murmured.

Thalia nodded, her face tight. “Luke and I helped burn this place to the ground.”

I looked up at her, startled. I’d figured that she’d been here before, but with Luke? “What happened?”

She looked over at me with wide eyes. “Wait, you don’t know?”

I shook my head. “My mortal memory is highly flawed. I can’t access most of my godly memories. Plus...” I swallowed hard. “I- I feel like I should know what happened here. Like I DO know, but I’ve blocked it out. Something so terrible that even as a god, I just wanted to forget about it.”

Thalia stared at me with an unreadable expression on her face. Before she could decide what to do with that information, I heard Meg cry out.

I rushed over to her. Thankfully, she appeared unhurt. “What’s wrong?” I asked, gripping my combat ukulele tightly.

She knelt down and brushed away some ashes to reveal two human skulls.

My breath caught. I wasn’t freaked out by human remains. I’d seen many, MANY dead humans over my four thousand years of existence. But I could still be freaked out by what they meant.

Gently I knelt down and picked up one of the skulls. Judging by its size and shape, it had belonged to a child no older than eight. The other skull was even smaller. The child it belonged to had still had all their baby teeth. They were probably barely out of toddlerhood.

I stumbled around the area - the impromptu graveyard. I kicked up skull after skull, almost all of them children. They stared up at me accusingly, yet I couldn’t remember what they were accusing me of. I’d had no parts in the deaths of these children - right?

Part of me knew I had. I had something to do with their deaths. I just didn’t remember how.

I breathed harder and harder, choking on the newly disturbed ash.

“Dad!”

Will rushed over, Nico by his side. He led me away from the ruins, towards the woods.

Normally woods filled me with shame and guilt with how they reminded me of Daphne. Right now, they were a relief. There weren’t any child skulls staring back at me here, and no ash to choke on.

I collected myself as best I could. “I’m- I’m okay. I’ll be fine. We need to find Python’s skin.”

Will nodded, but looked worried. “Do you know what happened here? You freaked out more than I thought you would when you found those skulls.”

“I- no. No, I don’t. But- I think I’m responsible for it. And that I’ll have to face my memories of it.”

Will frowned, but nodded. “Just remember that we’re here. We’re not gonna leave you.”

Tears filled my eyes and my throat tightened. What had I ever done to deserve such a wonderful son? “I know.”

We walked back to the ruins, being careful not to kick up too much ash. I steadfastly tried to ignore the occasional human bone I kicked up. I could do nothing for them now and could learn no lessons from their deaths until I knew what had happened. For now, I needed to concentrate on finding Python’s skin.

We split up and searched the ruins for nearly an hour. I uncovered bone after bone, skull after skull. With each discovery my conscience weighed on me more and more, until I felt like I was going to break. Your fault, your fault I heard from the other side of the mental block. They’re dead because of you. I couldn’t remember why, but I knew it was true.

Near the end of that hour, Thalia yelled “FOUND IT!”

Will, Meg, and I rushed over. Belatedly I realized that Nico wasn’t there. Looking around, I saw him deep in conversation with some spirit. He didn’t appear to have heard Thalia.

At Thalia’s feet, newly unearthed from under the ash, was a massive length of snake skin. And on top of that snake skin was a human skeleton.

Unlock most of the other skeletons we’d found, this one appeared to belong to an adult - an elderly one, at that. Thalia stared at the skeleton, a hard look in her eyes.

“Hal...” she murmured.

My mind exploded.

The world came into being around us. I groaned. The mental block I’d built up was crumbling.

Hal.

I knew him.

He was one of my sons.

And something terrible had happened to him.

I’d happened to him.

I didn’t know how or why yet, but I was certain I was responsible.

I pushed that thought away. Find out what was going on first, wallow in guilt later, once I knew for sure what I was guilty OF.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around.

Will and Thalia had tensed up, weapons drawn, waiting for an attack.

Meg just peered around, vaguely interested, but not alarmed.

Ah. Of course.

“Don’t worry,” I told Will and Thalia. “This is a flashback. They happen around me sometimes. Not sure why. None of this is really happening, we’re just revisiting someone’s memories of the past. Once it’s done, we’ll be back where we were. Meg and I have been through many if these, along with Percy and Annabeth.”

The three of them relaxed slightly, though they still seemed on-guard.

I looked around at our surroundings. We seemed to be in some kind of ballroom, that weirdly enough seemed to also be the entranceway to outside. Weird design, but okay. I’d seen weirder.

I heard a quiet click. The deadbolt turned. The door swung over, revealing two young demigods.

Two familiar young demigods.

“Thalia and Luke?” I asked.

They were way younger than I was used to. Thalia looked about twelve. Since she was normally (biologically) fifteen, that wasn’t a HUGE difference though.

Luke, on the other hand, looked to be about 14, which was a LOT younger than he was last time I saw him, in the flashback where he’d died. He’d been 23 at that point, a man. Seeing him and Thalia now... they were so young. So, so young.

My heart clenched. This wasn’t right. They should both be at camp, not wandering around, not knowing where their next meals would come from, constantly needing to watch for monsters.

How could we gods have EVER thought this was okay, letting CHILDREN fend for themselves? Even if they weren’t my own children, I couldn’t imagine leaving them like that. Not now. Not when I knew what it was like to be afraid of a monster killing you anytime you rested.

I was fortunate compared to those homeless demigods. I had never been alone. I always had allies, and ways of acquiring food. They had no such guarantee.

“That is so cool,” past!Thalia murmured.

The two young demigods marched in, Thalia taking the lead.

I looked over at the present Thalia. She stood stock-still, staring at Luke.

Ah, of course. I’d known they used to be close, and seeing him again now, before he died, before he started helping Kronos... I could only imagine how she was feeling. Perhaps I’d talk to her about it later, if we were on speaking terms at that point.

I turned my attention back to the past. Luke and Thalia seemed to be inspecting the room, though Luke moreso than Thalia. I frowned, taking a closer look myself.

The room looked pretty disheveled, the floor streaked with mud and some dried red-brown stuff -

Oh. That was blood. Well that’s not good.

I looked over at the furniture. In one corner stood a destroyed sofa, looking like something had torn it apart. Something strong with sharp teeth. Elsewhere in the room lay several smashed chairs.

The stairs were the worst. Trash was strewn at the base - along with human bones.

“Thalia,” I asked, my voice even. “please tell me you two turned around and left, and this was just a weird, but ultimately uneventful footnote on your travels together.”

Thalia shot me a glare. I wasn’t sure why. “Well, we TRIED to leave...”

*sshnk*

Past Thalia now held a spear. Seems she had noticed the bones too. Good.

Luke on the other hand...

“Thalia, why is Luke wielding a normal golf club, and not an ACTUAL WEAPON?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. I didn’t think I succeeded.

“Oh, he had a Celestial Bronze sword. It got melted into acid awhile before this. That golf club was all Luke had for a while,” she said off-handedly.

Great. Maybe the monster was some sort of a dog, and he could hit a ball really, REALLY far away while he and Thalia GOT OUT OF THERE.

Breathe, Apollo. Breathe. They survived this. You know they did. If they survived this, then you can survive WATCHING them go through this.

Luke spoke. “Maybe this isn’t such a good-”

The door slammed shut behind them.

Well that wasn’t good.

Luke tugged at the handle, but it wouldn’t open. He put his hand on the lock, trying to will it open, I imagined. Hermes’s kids could do that sometimes. Came with being children of the God of Thieves. It still didn’t budge.

“Some kind of magic,” Luke said. “We’re trapped.”

Past Thalia ran to a window, tugging at the drape. I supposed she was thinking of smashing a window to get out. Good thought, but I doubted that whoever came up with this trap would have left so obvious an escape method.

The fabric wrapped around Thalia’s hands.

“Luke!” she screamed.

I hated being right.

The curtains transformed, changing from fabric into a thick black ooze. It enveloped Thalia’s arms and crept down her spear.

Luke charged, whacking at them with his golf club. To my surprise that actually worked. The curtains temporarily changed back to fabric, and Luke was able to pull Thalia out of its grip.

The curtains quickly recovered, turning back to ooze and trying to reach out to Thalia. Luckily the ooze didn’t seem to be able to leave the curtain rods, and it soon quieted down, giving up on reach its prey.

Thalia shivered in Luke’s arms. Her arms and hands steamed and blistered.

I wanted to rush over and help her. Sing healing incantations, give her ambrosia, SOMETHING.

But I couldn’t. This had already happened. I could do nothing for her now.

Luke, however, COULD. “Hold on!” he shouted, laying her on the ground. “Hold on, Thalia. I got it.”

He fumbled through his backpack, finally pulling out a bottle of nectar. He poured it over Thalia’s hands. The blisters faded.

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least Thalia was okay now.

“You’re going to be fine,” Luke said gently. “Just rest.”

“We- we can’t,” Thalia said shakily as she stood. “If all the windows are like that, and the door is locked-”

“We’ll find another way out,” Luke said.

Luke looked around, trying to find an exit that WOULDN’T try to dissolve them, I assumed.

His eyes locked on some small red lights. Which were paired together. And moving closer. A growl emanated from them.

Thalia made a strangled sound. “Um, Luke...”

She pointed down the second hallway. A second pair of eyes looked back at them.

From both hallways came a strange sound, *clack-clack-clack*.

“The stairs are looking pretty good,” Luke said.

From somewhere above them, up the stairs, a man’s voice called, ”Yes, this way.”

A sharp pain tore through my head. “Nngh,” I groaned.

“Apollo!” Meg and Will cried out.

“I’m okay,” I tried to assure them. “Just a headache.”

Meg nodded, but looked troubled. Will didn’t seem to buy it either, but neither of them said anything. I noticed that they both stayed close to me, though.

“Who are you?” Luke called up.

“Hurry,” the man called again. I felt like I should recognize the voice.

“Hurry,” echoed from the right hallway, from the creature with the red eyes. It was the same voice.

A creature with a human voice... The same voice coming from two different directions...

I moaned as my headache pulsed again.

“Hurry,” the creature on the left called.

Luke grabbed Thalia’s hand, bolting up the stairs with her.

“Luke-”

“Come on!”

“If it’s another trap-”

“No choice!”

They ran like Tartarus himself was after them. They plunged down the hallway, nearly tripping over piles of human bones.

“This way!” the man’s voice called. “Last door on the left. Hurry!”

The creatures echoed the man’s words. “Left! Hurry!”

“We have to help him,” Thalia said determinedly.

“Yeah,” Luke agreed.

They ran down the corridor, towards the last door on the left. Light spilled out from the crack under the closed door.

The door opened as they reached it. The two frantic demigods tripped through the doorway, the door slamming shut behind them.

“Hello,” said the man’s voice, much closer now. “I’m very sorry.”

In front of them stood an old man with gray, spiky hair. He looked resigned and very, very tired. But his clothes were what really caught my attention.

Snakeskin boots. A mottled green-and-brown snakeskin suit.

He was wearing Python’s skin. Where had he gotten Python’s skin?

Because I forced it on him.

The answer came back naturally, as I’d known it all along. I suppose I had, and had simply forgotten it.

But why would I force the snakeskin on him? And why did it feel like a hole had opened up in my stomach?

Breathing hard, I forced myself to concentrate. I was SO close to remembering. I could feel it.

But do I want to?

I clenched my teeth. Whether I WANTED to didn’t matter. I NEEDED to.

Past Thalia spoke. “Um, Luke...”

She pointed to her left.

The left portion of the room was closed off with iron bars, like a prison cell. Inside stood one of the monsters that had just chased Thalia and Luke. It looked like a weird mixture of creatures, with a lion’s body, horses’ hooves (I suppose that explains the clacking sound, I thought distantly) and a head that looked like some amalgam of a horse and a wolf head.

It opened its mouth, revealing two horseshoe-shaped plates of bones instead of teeth. When it snapped its mouth shut, it produced the *clack-clack-clack* sound.

Of course the sound was produced by the more horrifying option. Naturally.

Thalia and Luke stood up, facing the old man.

“Who are you?” Luke demanded. “What’s that thing in the cage?”

The old man grimaced, his expression miserable. He looked like he was about to cry. He opened his mouth, but when he spoke, the voice didn’t come from him, but from the monster in the cage.

“I am Halcyon Green. I’m terribly sorry, but you are in the cage. You’ve been lured here to die.”

The block in my mind dissipated.

My legs buckled, long-repressed memories whirling through my mind. Meg and Will caught me, having made sure to stay close after the last time I nearly fell.

Halcyon Green.

My son.

I’d done something awful to my son.

I hadn’t wanted to, but I had.

I still couldn’t quite sort out what had happened, why I’d repressed my memories of Hal. The block may have dissolved, but I still needed to sort through the memories it was hiding.

Meg and Will gently lowered me to the ground, sitting me down.

“Apollo. Breathe. We’re here. We’re not leaving. Everything’s okay,” Will said soothingly.

I appreciated his reassurance, even though he had no idea what was actually wrong.

The flashback didn’t pause just because I was struggling to remain upright, unfortunately. How inconsiderate!

“Y-you’d better explain,” Luke stammered. “Why - how - what...?”

“I understand your confusion,” said the monster sympathetically, speaking for Hal. “The creature you see her is a leucrota. It has a talent for imitating human voices. That is how it lures its prey.”

Luke looked from Hal to the leucrota and back again. “But the voice is yours? I mean, the dude in the snakeskin suit? I’m hearing what he wants to say?”

“That is correct,” the leucrota sighed. “I am, as you say, the dude in the snakeskin suit. Such is my curse. My name is Halcyon Green, son of Apollo.”

“WHAT?!”

I winced from Meg’s and Will’s yells. Thalia just silently glared at me.

They quieted down in time to hear past Thalia’s own exclamation of surprise, “You’re a demigod? But you’re so - “

“Old?” the leucrota asked. Hal looked over his hands, seemingly contemplating how old and weathered they were. “Yes, I am.”

I understood Thalia’s confusion. It was very, very rare for Greek demigods to achieve senior status. Something else that I hoped to change.

“How long have you been here?” Luke asked.

A long, long time, my memory whispered. Decades.

Hal shrugged listlessly, his face conveying his misery and despair. The utter hopelessness... he’d given up on his situation improving a long, long time ago. The leucrota supplied Hal’s voice. “I have lost count. Decades? Because my father is the god of oracles, I was born with the curse of seeing the future. Apollo warned me to keep quiet. He told me I should never share what I saw because it would anger the gods. But many years go... I simply had to speak. I met a young girl who was destined to die in an accident. I saved her life by telling her the future.”

My blood ran cold. Distantly I heard voices calling me, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.

Precognition. The ability to see the future. An extremely valuable and important ability. We were currently on a quest to try and restore the Oracles, after all. But it was the ability I most hated to pass on to my offspring. Seers could easily run afoul of the Fates - and run afoul of Zeus by consequence.

I remembered the horror I felt when I first visited Hal when he was a child. I’d desperately warned him to keep silent, whatever happened. Whatever the contest. That he would be punished severely if he dared to utter a word. He’d agreed. He hadn’t said a word. When he managed to reach adulthood (a rare feat for a Greek demigod) without triggering Zeus’s wrath, I had let myself be deluded into thinking that things would be fine.

It had only been a delusion. Before Hal was even born, I’d seen that the Aegis would need to be sealed in a trapped safe and left in his family’s house. I hadn’t seen why, simply that it was necessary. I’d convinced myself not to worry about WHY it was like that. After Hal had spoken - after he’d saved that little girl - it became abundantly, horribly clear.

I forced myself to concentrate on the rest of the exchange. I could fall to pieces afterwards.

“I don’t get it...” Luke looked Hal in the eyes, very pointedly NOT looking at the leucrota. “You did something good. Why would that anger the gods?”

I almost laughed. Good intentions only mattered for so much when one stepped on a god’s domain.

“They don’t like mortals meddling with fate,” the leucrota replied. “My father cursed me. He forced me to wear these clothes, the skin of Python, who once guarded the Oracle of Delphi, as a reminder that I was not an oracle. He took away my voice and locked me in this mansion, my boyhood home. Then the gods set the leucrotae to guard me. Normally, leucrotae only mimic human speech, but these are linked to my thoughts. They speak for me. They keep me alive as bait, to lure other demigods. It was Apollo’s way of reminding me, forever, that my voice would only lead others to their doom.”

I looked around dazedly. Meg and Will had stopped calling my name, instead staring at me in horror. Thalia determinedly did NOT look at me, fixing her gaze on Hal and Luke instead. I was fine with her ignoring my existence. Right now I wanted to ignore my existence.

I would have to explain later, tell my side of the story, and hope that they could forgive me for what I did. For what I had to do.

But for now, this was Hal’s show. He’d been silenced enough. My son would get to say his piece.

Luke looked furious at Hal’s words. “You should fight back. You didn’t deserve this. Break out. Kill the monsters. We’ll help you.”

I gave a bitter smile. Not deserving something didn’t matter much. Otherwise Jason would still be alive.

“He’s right,” past Thalia cut in. “That’s Luke, by the way. I’m Thalia. We’ve fought plenty of monsters. There has to be something we can do, Halcyon.”

Normally I’d say it was hopeless. This was meant to be a trap for demigods, there were measures in place to prevent them from simply being able to fight their way out, otherwise the trap would have been destroyed years ago. Yet Thalia and Luke had survived this. I was not about to underestimate them.

“Call me Hal.” He shook his head, “But you don’t understand. You’re not the first to come here. I’m afraid all the demigods feel there’s hope when they arrive. Sometimes I try to help them. It never works. The windows are guarded by deadly drapes-”

“I noticed,” past Thalia muttered.

“-and the door is heavily enchanted. It will let you in, but not out.”

“We’ll see about that,” Luke muttered determinedly. He pressed his hand against the door behind him, willing it to open, like he did with the front door downstairs. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work.

“I told you,” the leucrota speaking for Hal said bitterly, “None of us can leave. Fighting the monsters is hopeless. They can’t be hurt by any metal known to man or god.”

Hal opened his jacket, revealing a dagger on his belt.

A very familiar dagger.

I’d seen it not too long ago, in a different flashback, that one also involving Luke.

“Is- is that...?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yep,” the present Thalia replied.

Oh, the strange and twisted path the Fates had taken.

Will and Meg looked at Thalia and I curiously, but we didn’t elaborate. I had a feeling that the flashback would explain anyway. They usually did.

Hal stabbed the knife at the leucrota. It bounced off the monster’s snout.

“You see?” the monster said as Hal backed away from it.

“So you just give up?” Thalia demanded. “You help the monsters lure us in and wait for them to kill us?”

Hal sheathed the dagger, gently placing it back in its holster. “I’m so sorry, my dear, but I have little choice. I’m trapped here, too. If I don’t cooperate, the monsters let me starve. The monsters could have killed you the moment you entered the house, but they use me to lure you upstairs. They allow me your company for a while. It eases my loneliness. And then... well, the monsters like to eat at sundown. Today, that will be at 7:03.”

I glanced at the nearby clock. It read 10:34 am. A little over eight hours before Luke and Thalia were dinner.

Hal continued. “After you are gone, I- I subsist on whatever rations you carried.”

He looked hungrily at Luke’s backpack. I felt sick.

“You’re as bad as the monsters,” Luke said.

I flinched. Hal might be as bad as the monsters, but what did that make us gods, who had made this happen?

“You’re right to hate me,” the leucrota spoke, self-loathing and resignation coating its words. “But I can’t save you. At sunset, those bars will rise. The monsters will drag you away and kill you. There is no escape.”

Two more leucrotae entered the caged off room, as if underscoring Hal’s words. One of them chomped on some long-dead demigod’s Celestial Bronze breastplate, which seemed like an entirely unnecessary illustration of how screwed Thalia and Luke were.

“As you see,” one of the new leucrotae said, “the monsters are remarkably strong.”

“Send them away,” Thalia asked pleadingly. She was trying to put on a brave face, but I could see how scared she was. I didn’t blame her. If I’d been in her situation, my knees would have been quaking so hard I’d have had trouble remaining upright. “Hal, can you make them leave?”

Hal frowned. One of the leucrotae spoke, “If I do that, we won’t be able to talk.”

The second leucrotae continued his statement, “Besides, any escape strategy you can think of, someone else has already tried.”

The third monster ended the statement, “There is no point in private talks.”

Okay, the leucrotae HAD to be doing this on purpose, trying to reinforce how outmatched the demigods were.

Thalia paced, thinking. I admired her ability to concentrate on anything besides ‘Oh my god, we’re gonna die.’

She turned to Hal, “Do they know what we’re saying? I mean, do they just speak, or do they understand the words?”

The first leucrotae whined, then mimicked Thalia’s voice, “Do they understand the words?”

The second one supplied Hal’s voice, “The creatures are intelligent, the way dogs are intelligent. They comprehend emotions and a few simple phrases. They can lure their prey by crying things like ‘Help!’. But I’m not sure how much human speech they really understand. It doesn’t matter. You can’t fool them.”

“Send them away,” Luke said. “You have a computer. Type what you want to say. If we’re going to die at sunset, I don’t want those things staring at me all day.

Hal turned at the creatures and stared at them silently. They snarled and stalked out of the room.

“Luke,” past Thalia asked anxiously, “do you have a plan?”

“Not yet. But we’d better come up with one by sunset,” he replied grimly.

Luke and Thalia paced, trying to come up with some solution. After a couple minutes of waiting, the present Thalia sighed. “Nothing’s going to happen for at least an hour. Maybe more. It certainly FELT like an eternity,” she grumbled.

This was the perfect opportunity for me to come clean and explain what I’d remembered about Hal.

I half-wished a leucrota would burst in.

Sadly, no such distraction was forthcoming.

I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, not meeting Will’s or Meg’s eyes as they burned holes in me.

“Why?” Will asked softly. I flinched. “Why did you punish Hal so severely just for saving a girl? A-and why...” he struggled to find the words, his face screwing up as he attempted to keep his composure. His voice came out hoarse and rough, “Why did you give him a punishment that would kill HUNDREDS of innocent people. Kill hundreds of KIDS. I- I-” Will’s voice cracked as tears streamed down his face. “I looked around the ruins for an HOUR, Apollo! Do you know how many children’s skulls I found?! How many never got a CHANCE, because they were caught in this messed-up trap?! Just- just- WHY?!”

Looking at the anger and betrayal in my son’s face, at his clenched fists, I almost lost my voice. Nothing I could say could fix this.

But I could explain it. I owed that much.

“Because Zeus threatened to do something worse. ”

An audible silence fell.

Thalia, Meg, and Will stared at me.

I fought the urge to stare at my shoes and shrink into a tiny ball. I needed to keep myself together. To give them answers.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, collecting myself. “As soon as Hal was born, I knew he was a seer. I also knew that something terrible would happen to him if he ever tried to use his powers. Zeus told me to kill him. That he couldn’t be allowed to live, to interfere with the Fates. I begged for his life. I assured him that Hal would never tell anyone the things he saw. It worked. And as soon as Hal was old enough to understand what I was telling him, I visited and warned him to never reveal his visions.”

“But he DID tell someone. He had to save that girl,” Thalia cut in, an unreadable expression on her face.

“Yeah. And honestly? I can’t blame him. If I’d been in his circumstances, I would’ve done the same thing.”

“But you didn’t have a choice. You HAD to punish him,” Will said.

As I opened my mouth to explain farther, the world blurred.

A new memory?

The scene resolved. We were on Mount Olympus, in the throne room. Only one throne was occupied; my father’s.

But that didn’t mean he was the only one in the room.

My godly self stood, looking up at my father, fear and worry painted on my face.

Zeus glared at him- at me- stonily.

At last he spoke.

“Hal has meddled with the Fates’ design, as I knew he would. He broke his promise.”

“Father, please-”

Zeus steam-rollered on, disinterested in what I had to say. “He must be punished.”

He leaned forwards slightly. I felt a bead of sweat trickle down my neck. I knew what was coming next.

Zeus rumbled, “YOU must punish him.”

A beat passed. Then another.

“Wha-?” my godly self asked, looking confused and frightened.

I remembered this now. Zeus had known that I didn’t want to hurt Hal - to hurt my son - so the fact that he was putting me in charge of Hal’s punishment, when he KNEW I’d try to lighten his load as much as possible... well, I knew as soon as he said it that it couldn’t be that simple.

I’d been right.

Zeus leaned slightly forwards, hand teasingly close to his Master Bolt. “Punish him fittingly... or I’ll intervene.”

The world blurred again. This time when it stopped, we were in a forest. My godly self, stood, talking to a preteen girl with long auburn hair and cold silver eyes.

Sister.

My eyes prickled.

I’d seen her in two flashbacks so far, one less than a month ago, but it still felt like a punch in the gut every time she appeared. I desperately hoped I’d get to see her in person soon. To Hades with appearances, I wanted to collapse in her arms and cry and just... BE with her. I hadn’t gone this long without seeing her in millennia.

“I need Python’s skin.”

Artemis looked back at my godly self, frowning. “Apollo, what’s wrong?”

I smiled slightly. Artemis could read me like a book.

“One of my children broke a promise, told the future when he wasn-’t supposed. Zeus’s on the warpath. He... he said that I had to decide a fitting punishment for him, or he’d intervene. I’m hoping that dressing him in Python’s skin, reminding him that he’s NOT an Oracle, taking away his voice, and confining him to his home will be enough. I... I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I have to. Anymore than I need to.”

Quietly, I told my present companions, “It wasn’t enough for Zeus.”

Artemis looked at me for a long moment. Finally she spoke. “I’ll retrieve it. It’ll only take a few hours. Come back later tonight.”

My godly self nodded and turned to walk away. Before he could leave, Artemis called out, “Oh, and brother? COME FIND ME after this is over, or I WILL track you down and drag you over myself.”

A small smile tugged at my divine self’s lips. “How could I refuse the opportunity to flirt with so many of your lovely Hunters.”

Sis rolled her eyes, “Just come over, you goof. I’m NOT letting you brood by yourself.”

Artemis... sister... she meant so much more to me than I’d ever been able to tell her. Sometimes I couldn’t stand her, but she was always there for me when I needed her.

The world blurred again. At this rate, I might get motion sickness from all the scene changes.

When it cleared, we were back in Hal’s house, in his room.

Bars covered the walls, leucrotae behind them, just like in Thalia’s time. Hal stood facing my past self, garbed in snakeskin. But this Hal was younger. He wasn’t worn down. He hadn’t given up.

My godly self spoke in a monotone, as if reading from a script: “You told that girl her future. You meddled with fate, with the domain of the gods. You shall be punished accordingly. You will wear the skin of Python, to remind you that you are NOT an Oracle. Your voice has been stolen, so that you may never again tell others of what you see. You will never leave this house again. And... a-and...”

Here my past self’s composure cracked. “Y-your voice will be repeated by the leucrotae. It will be used as bait to lure demigods’ to their deaths. To re-remind you that your voice will only ever lead others to destruction. You will be forced to watch them die, knowing it’s your fault. Your curse.. your curse will only be ended when the owner of the treasure in this safe,” here I gestured to a huge locked safe, “successfully claims it.”

Hal looked stunned. He moved his mouth, but no words came out. My godly self turned around, whispering hoarsely, “I’m sorry,” before disappearing.

Thalia broke the silence. “Zeus. HE was the reason for all those deaths. He was the one who set up the death trap,” she spat.

She let out a breath. “I’m not surprised. It explains some things I’d been wondering about.”

I looked at her interestedly. “Like what?”

She looked me in the eyes. For the first time in several days, I saw no anger directed at me. “Hal never seemed angry or upset with you, just resigned. Zeus’s goat led me to the mansion, so he knew about it... and knew that the Aegis was here for me to claim. Plus the fact that the Aegis was here in the first place.”

She gave me a small smile. “Also, after getting to know you... this just REALLY didn’t seem like the kind of punishment you’d come up with.”

I teared up slightly. Thalia Grace, thinking well of me? Believing me to be a good enough person to NOT willingly consign hundreds of innocent demigods to a horrible death? (Okay, that was an admittedly low bar, but I’d take it.)

Still...

“I could’ve done more,” I admitted. Abort, mouth, abort! I screamed to myself. She only just now started to stand you again, what are you doing? My mouth didn’t comply.

“I could’ve tried to guide more demigods away from the area. I could’ve appealed to Artemis and Athena for help in persuading Zeus to change his mind. Maybe I wouldn’t have succeeded. Maybe he would’ve even gotten angry with me. But I could’ve TRIED. Instead I buried my head in the sand. I blocked my memories of this as best I could, ignoring the demigods’ screams for help. I did what I’d been doing for millennia; ignoring those I should have helped to protect. Because it was EASIER. Because it was SAFER.”

I looked Meg, Will, and Thalia each in the eyes in turn, and reiterated a promise I’d already made, but needed to be repeated. “I will fight to ensure that this kind of thing NEVER happens again. That my divine family finally starts to protect demigods. ALL demigods, not just our own children. Even if it means protecting them from other gods. This was WRONG. This... this was EVIL. I can’t go back in time to stop it from happening. But I can try to prevent a repeat.”

Light shone in Thalia’s eyes as she studied me. At last, she gave me a small smile. “Luke would have agreed. The Luke I knew, at least. Before... before everything happened.”

I smiled back at her.

The world blurred and melted again (seriously, how many times was this going to happen? This had to be a record!)

When it cleared, we were still in Hal’s room, but back with Thalia and Luke. I checked the time. It was 7:01 pm.

Almost time for the leucrotae to eat.

“You haven’t escaped?!” I hissed to Thalia. She looked at me sadly.

“We escaped after this. We had to wait until...”

ZZZAAP-POP

Everyone except Thalia jumped. Past Thalia sat up grinning, holding a glowing jar of Greek fire.

“Somebody order a magic bomb?” she asked cheekily.

“..until that,” the present Thalia finished.

The clock turned over to 7:03 pm.

It was sunset.

Time for the leucrotae to feed.

Hal held out his hand to Thalia, silently asking for the jar.

“Thalia,” Luke said. “Give Hal the Greek Fire.”

Past Thalia looked back and forth between Hal and Luke, indecision warring on her face. “But-”

“He has to,” Luke ground out, his voice laced with sorrow. “He’s going to help us escape.”

Oh. So this is how Hal died.

Past Thalia realized Hal’s and Luke’s plan at the same time I did. She blanched. “Luke, no.”

The bars continued to slowly rise, the leucrotae clacking their bone plates impatiently.

“There’s no time!” Luke shouted. “Come one!”

Hal took the jar from Thalia, setting his face in a brave smile.

I knew that smile. That need to put on a brave face for the sake of others. I’d needed to use it several times in the past few months.

He nodded at Luke. I didn’t know why, but Luke seemed to get his meaning. Luke slipped a book and Hal’s dagger into his pack. Then Luke pulled Thalia into the closet with him.

“In here!” One of the leucrotae shouted, speaking for Hal. “I’ve got them trapped in the bathroom. Come on, you ugly mutts!”

The leucrotae ran to the bathroom.

Thalia and Luke burst out of the closet, sprinting for the open enclosure. They barely made it before the panel closed, Luke wedging it open with his golf club.

“Go, go, go!” he yelled.

Thalia wriggled through as the golf club began to bend.

Hal’s voice shouted from the bathroom, “You know what this is, you Tartarus scum dogs? This is your last meal!”

On of the leucrota tore away after Luke and Thalia. Luke punched it in the snout, distracting it long enough for the club to snap, closing the panel.

As the two young demigods started crawling through a metal duct, I heard a battle cry from Hal.

His last words.

“For Apollo!”

The mansion exploded into a fireball.

The world blurred forwards. I felt like my mind was blurring too.

For Apollo? Why would he shout that? Why, when my existence had caused him nothing but misery?

And... he’d sacrificed himself to save Thalia and Luke. He could’ve let them die, like so many demigods before them. But he chose to die in their place.

“He was like you.”

I looked up, startle, and found myself looking at Meg.

“Huh?” I asked, not sure whether I had heard right.

“He was like you,” she repeated. “Like with you and the arrow. With Jason. He killed himself to give the others a chance to escape.”

I almost laughed. “Yeah, but he KNEW he was going to die. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to go through with stabbing myself if I’d REALLY believed I’d die.”

“You would have,” she said with certainty. “I know you.”

I didn’t know MYSELF well enough to say that; yet, I couldn’t bring myself to disbelieve her.

Will cut in. “Hal believed in you. That’s why he shouted that, at the end. He wanted you to see. He wanted you to be proud of him.”

“I am. I am so, so proud of him.” I said hoarsely.

CLANG

I looked around. The world had cleared while we’d been talking. We appeared to be in some sort of warehouse.

Thalia and Luke crept towards the clanging noise. Ahead of them, a piece of metal quivered.

Something was there.

They inched their way over. Luke lifted the sheet of metal. Thalia readied her spear.

A hammer flew out, narrowly missing taking Luke’s head off.

“Woah!” Luke yelped, and grabbed the little girl who had just tried to give him a concussion.

I took a look at her. She looked about seven years old, with blonde hair and intelligent grey eyes.

Annabeth Chase.

She struggled and screamed in Luke’s grip. “No more monsters! Go away!”

“It’s okay!” Luke tried to hold her, attempting to calm her down, but to no avail.

“Thalia!” he shouted. “put your shield away! You're scaring her!”

She collapsed her shield and dropped her spear.

“Hey, little girl,” she said soothingly. “It’s all right. We’re not going to hurt you. I’m Thalia. This is Luke.”

“Monsters!” Annabeth yelled.

“No,” Luke said, still holding onto Annabeth. She wasn’t fighting quite as hard now. “But we know about monsters. We fight them too.”

He continued to hold her until she settled down and accepted the hug.

“You’re like me?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yeah,” Luke confirmed. “We’re... well, it’s hard to explain, but we’re monster fighters. Where’s your family?”

Annabeth’s face screwed up in anger. Her chin quivered. “My family hates me. They don’t want me. I ran away.”

She was so, so young. To be on her own...

My blood froze. If she’d been in the wrong place... if she’d run across the mansion instead of Luke and Thalia...

I shook those thoughts away. I could beat myself up about that more later. I already knew that scenario would be visiting my nightmares.

Thalia knelt in front of Annabeth, putting her eyes level with Annabeth’s. “What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Annabeth.”

“Nice name,” Luke told her, smiling. “I tell you what, Annabeth. You’re pretty fierce. We could use a fighter like you.”

Her eyes widened. “You could?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said earnestly. I smiled at him. If not for everything that happened, Luke would have made a good dad. I could see why he was made Counselor for the Hermes cabin.

“How’d you like a real monster-slaying weapon?” he asked, pulling out the dagger Hal had given him. “This is Celestial Bronze. Works a lot better than a hammer.”

Annabeth took the dagger and studied it, looking at it in awe.

Luke continued. “Knives are only for the bravest and quickest fighters. They don’t have the reach or power of a sword, but they’re easy to conceal and they can find weak spots in your enemy’s armor. It takes a clever warrior to use a knife. I have a feeling you’re pretty clever.”

“I am clever!” she cried, beaming.

Thalia laughed and ruffled Annabeth’s hair. “We’d better get going, Annabeth. We have a safe house on the James River. We’ll get you some clothes and food.”

Annabeth’s smile wavered for a moment, doubt creeping across her face. “You’re... you’re not going to take me back to my family? Promise?”

My heart broke a little. No child should be this adamant about not returning to the people who are supposed to protect them.

Luke reached out, placing a hand on Annabeth’s shoulder. “You’re part of our family now. And I promise I’m not going to fail you like our families did us. Deal?”

“Deal!”

Past Thalia smiled at Luke approvingly. “Now, come on. We can’t stay put for long!”

“He broke his promise.”

I startled, looking up at the present Thalia. She stared at the three of them, a far away look in her eyes.

I knew. Annabeth had told me, after we’d flashbacked to the final battle with Kronos. That broken promise had cursed the dagger, making it the weapon from the Great Prophecy.

Seeing Luke make that promise, seeing the sincerity on his face... It made me doubt my own capacity to keep the promises I’d made. If even Luke could fall, what chance did I have? With my record of promise-breaking?

Yet I had to try. I HAD to.

I didn’t want to fail my family anymore.

I didn’t want anymore children’s deaths on my conscience.

I had to do better.

Maybe I’d fail.

But that was better than not trying in the first place.

The world blurred together for the final time. The four of us blinked awake. We were still standing in the burnt out husk of the mansion.

I looked down at my feet. There lay Hal’s skeleton, surrounded by snakeskin.

I smiled bitterly. He hadn’t deserved his fate. I hoped that he’d made it to Elysium. He deserved it.

“What HAPPENED?”

I heard a shout. I looked to the side.

There stood a frantic-looking Nico Di Angelo.

Oh. Yeah. We WERE in that flashback for a while.

“It’s... kinda a long story.”

Will started explaining what had transpired to the son of Hades.

Carefully, gently, I removed Python’s skin from my dead son.

We’d give Hal the proper rights soon, once Nico was up to speed.

For now, I had a promise to make.

“Never again,” I told Hal. “Never again.”

#trials of apollo #fanfiction #memories of godly selfishness #apollo #lester papadopoulos #will solace #meg mccaffrey #Thalia grace #Halcyon green #the diary of luke castellan #the trials of apollo

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writer-and-artist27 · 5 years

Text

Saving Each Other

Note: Trauma-versaries aren’t supposed to be spent alone crying. Inspired by the times Leo has been there for me.

Theme song is here. You could also listen to this theme too, if you’d like.

Staying up till almost midnight thinking on this was kinda worth it. Kinda. It helps me handle not being able to color this art at least. Suck it, Ty.

Official AU starring Shinsō and Tomoko needs a title to round them all up at this rate. =.=

----------------------------------------------------

Shinsō always thought that Hoshino — well, Tomoko to him now — was a loud sort of person. Not intentionally, considering how shy she could be around new faces, but it was endearing, if you asked him about it. Whether it was in class or at the occasional lunch break, her high-pitched voice was bright enough to rival Present Mic on her good days. She squeaked when happy, she squeaked when surprised, she just always squeaked. Mic-sensei and Midnight-sensei both always found her cute, but eh, it was an acquired taste, listening to Tomoko’s voice. At least the voice alone let him find her in a crowd every single time they got separated; even if she was short enough to get lost.

Shinsō could’ve easily been fooled into thinking that was the bulk of her entire personality if not for one day. It took one day for him to find her as someone almost completely different.

It was after All for One had already been taken down by All Might, and the dorms were set up for all the classes. School had been finished for the day and for once, Shinsō wanted out of the dorms and room to just pedal. His bike had been neglected since his training with Aizawa started, not helped by the dorms’ construction to begin with. Fresh air was supposed to be a good idea.

Tomoko wasn’t supposed to be sitting at a swing set by herself when he went out.

The park itself was empty, uncharacteristic of the area considering the UA’s security and the number of neighborhoods surrounding the school. Along with the setting sun, it would’ve been a prime time for kids to come and play.

Tomoko wasn’t supposed to be the only occupant there, swinging alone with a sad expression on her face.

Shinsō stopped his bike almost immediately to walk it into the park, trying to read his friend’s posture. She was hunched into herself, not projecting like she would in school, and her mouth was moving. It took an extra second for him to realize she was humming to herself. Not loud enough for him to make out the lyrics of the song, but there was no mistaking the loneliness in her normally bright blue eyes.

Yep. Screw this shit.

He bit his lip and walked close to the swing set, gently leaning his bike against the metal structure before taking a seat in the nearest empty swing. “Tomoko?”

Tomoko didn’t jolt. Rather, she didn’t even make a sound while blinking to look up at him, and it took all Shinsō had to not recoil at the sheer overwhelming relief in her eyes at seeing him. “Hitoshi-kun.” Her voice was just as quiet as the humming that led him to her. Her smile that came afterwards felt and looked fake. “Hi. Where did you come from?”

“The dorms,” he admitted, pushing his shoes into the sand underneath him to start swinging. The momentum was a good enough distraction for whatever was on the horizon of Tomoko’s mind. “Wanted to bike and then I saw you here. And I thought you wouldn’t want to be alone.”

“Oh,” Tomoko says, and then goes silent. She swings a bit too, the metal creaking underneath her weight. “Thankie, but…you didn’t have to come,” she adds, hesitant. “I was just thinking a bit.”

“Oi. I wanted to,” he replies, because now this has his hackles up. Gekkō and Davy both warned him to be careful when Tomoko was alone to think, because if Aizawa-sensei’s own tiptoeing around her was any indication, this was delicate. “You don’t have to be alone, Tomoko.”

Tomoko’s swing stops moving. She grips the handles a bit tighter. “…If you say that, I dunno what to say in response, Hitoshi-kun.” Her feet drudge up some sand. “Because it’s a day like this where I thought it’d be better to be alone.”

This just sounds wrong, in so many ways. Gekkō’s the one who’s supposed to say troubling things, not Tomoko. What was going on? “Why?” Shinsō says instead.

Tomoko sighs, a broken sound to the breath. “…It’s a long story,” she says, and her voice cracks at the words. “And if I say it, I’m not sure how you’re going to react, Hitoshi-kun, and I’m scared of that.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he protests, but once his voice raised in volume, Tomoko’s flinching and he winces. Argh. Not the right tone. This wasn’t the time to get angrily defensive. “Tomoko, we’ve known each other for a while now and I know you wouldn’t hurt me. So why are you scared of me possibly hurting you?”

Tomoko shakes her head, shrinking into herself. The swing creaks under her compressed weight. “It’s… kinda part of that long story. And before you say anything, it’s not your fault. It’s just me. Remembering someone I wish I didn’t know.”

The fuck? There was someone Tomoko didn’t want to remember? This was starting to hit a note he didn’t realize he had in common with Tomoko, and it was honestly shitty to even think about.

What else about her did Shinsō not know? What else was she hiding?

At Shinsō’s questioning stare, Tomoko sighs a long, deep sigh before raising her head to look at him in the eye, a sad frown tugging at her lips. “I’m sorry. For sounding mysterious, I mean. It’s not exactly something I talk about with everyone. Heck,” Tomoko laughs dryly, “Only Kei really knew the whole story up ‘till now. But if you want to, I can explain. The only thing I’m concerned about now is whether you’re able to hear me out or not. I can cry during this thing. So.” Tomoko smiles wryly. “Are you up for the story?”

He wasn’t really sure. These kind of things reminded him of his time in middle school, and those were days Shinsō was prepared to take to the grave. Even then, Shinsō gestured to his bike nearby with extra exaggerated motions. “Whatever you feel is okay. But when you feel like going back to the dorms, I can drive. And get you to the convenience store for tissues.”

The joke, as horribly-timed as it is, gets a small laugh out of Tomoko. The sound cuts through the thick air enough for Shinsō to crack a grin. It still sounded like Hoshino. “Y-You dork, that’s a bike, Hitoshi-kun, not a car. I’m now worried that I’ll be too heavy to ride on it with you.” Still, she’s smiling again and Shinsō relaxes. That’s how Tomoko should be. Not depressed like this. Her smile should’ve been bigger, but he’d take what he could get. “You silly friend.”

“Had to get it from Davy and Kei sometime, Tomoko,” he snarks, and Tomoko giggles. At least she’s smiling. “We’re all dorks, so don’t deny it.”

“I-I’m not,” she giggles again and then her shoulders straighten. “I’m just…” she goes quiet once more, much to Shinsō’s displeasure, ducking her head. In spite of his own misgivings, Shinsō waits. This was definitely delicate. “I’m just grateful. That you and everyone I know won’t turn out to be like the person I’m about to talk about.”

“The… person.” Shinsō repeats.

Tomoko nods, looking downwards while kicking up some sand with her shoes. “He was my first friend. Way before I met Kei. Let’s just call him ‘Ty’ for now, since that’s what he went by.” Shinsō digests the name, but can’t help feeling apprehensive. And, sure enough, Tomoko gulps a breath. “And, as sad as it makes me think about it,” she visibly swallows, “I think he was my first love. I… I cut him off about a year or so ago, before coming to UA.”

Shinsō freezes just in time with his heart stopping in place. “He…” There was no way. Did this Ty guy, whoever he was, hurt Tomoko? The girl who happily gave parts of herself away in the form of chocolate to everyone? The General Studies student that all the teachers loved? How? How could someone hurt— What the absolute fuck—

Tomoko sighs again.

Shinsō forces himself to breathe. “Did he hurt you?”

Without a single beat in-between, Tomoko looks up at him. The sheer amount of emotions swirling in her blue eyes confirmed the answer to his question, but before he could say anything, she opened her mouth. “Not… not initially. We were friends, in the beginning. We liked the same things, we got along a lot to the point of hanging out at each others’ houses.” She laughs, and this time the sound is bitter and hopeful all at once. “Mama and Papa even liked him at one point. It’s just…” Tomoko trails off.

“He fucked up?” he offers.

Tomoko, again, shakes her head. “N-No. I did.” She ducks away, looking smaller and smaller by the second. “I couldn’t help him. When he needed it, I couldn’t do anything. And he yelled and yelled and yelled at me for it. I-I think he hated me for it.” She shivers. “I-I cut him off before going to UA, because it hurt hearing him say all those things and not care if I was crying or not, but I still miss him and,” this time, there’s a sniffle, “I hate it because he’s gone and I can’t help but miss him.”

What the absolute fuck. “I call fucking bullshit on the fuck-ups,” Shinsō proclaims aloud. “There’s no way you could fuck up, Tomoko. He did first.” Yep. Now she’s flinching and looking up at him like he said something that went against God, but Shinsō could care less about that. He said the truth. Why couldn’t she believe that? Instead of protesting, he adds, “People are horrible, and bullies are the worst of it. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“I-I wish you wouldn’t use that wording—”

“I get that, but Tomoko.” She goes quiet at that. Shinsō reaches over to hold her shoulder past the swing. It was still Tomoko. It was still the Hoshino he got to know, and she was way more of a survivor than anyone gave her credit for. She was far too kind than anyone gave her credit for. Ty was already dropping into the deepest parts of his mental hell for simply abusing that. “I get it. You don’t have to explain.”

“You…” her blue eyes are wide enough to reflect his figure in the irises. “You get it? Hitoshi-kun, did you…” Tomoko stumbles. “Did you…”

Did you get hurt by people close to you before?

Shinsō pauses, feeling his heart clench in that not-so-great way, but nods anyway. There’s no mistaking that familiar shame in the air, no matter how many years it’s been. “You can’t help what you long for, no matter what everyone else says,” he admits, and even if the words are recycled from his first Sports Festival, they are making a visible effect. Tomoko’s staring at him. Like she wasn’t expecting him to understand. Why wouldn’t he? The shitty ideas of other people isn’t something foreign to him. He really needed to teach her how to cold read others. Still, he continues with an equally honest addition of, “And it doesn’t matter what Ty said to you in the past. I know you couldn’t fuck up badly when you were one of the first people who believed I could be a Hero.”

Tomoko blinks, her braid brushing her face, and then pink colors her cheeks. “Y-You have all the heart for it, being a Hero,” she says, her voice cracking, “so, I mean…”

“So this Ty guy needs to have his face punched in, once we graduate,” Shinsō finishes for her. “Or to be mind-controlled.” For once, as villainous as the idea is, he doesn’t think he’d hesitate to use his Quirk if he ever saw any visage of Ty. The guy was already a douchebag for making Tomoko cry and try to hide it.

Shinsō did not want to think about Ty possibly being the cause of Tomoko’s main anxiety problem. Because if he was, there would be words exchanged. Many words.

“E-Eh?” Tomoko’s blinking rapidly and then she’s turning away to wipe at her face with her sleeve. “No, wait. Hitoshi-kun, did you—”

Shinsō sighs and pulls Tomoko in for a full side-hug, not even caring about the swings between them. “You deserve better,” Shinsō says, even if his heart protests at the thought of her not being here with him. Someone was going to make her happy one day. He had to focus on that, not on some whim his heart was playing at with feelings. “It doesn’t matter what he did. He still hurt you. And you don’t have to linger on him when he never deserved it. He hurt you and lost the chance to be with you. So there’s better ways of spending your time than crying yourself a puddle over a jerk like him.”

Tomoko freezes. “You…” she sounds close to crying this time, and she leans into his side, visibly gulping. “You knew?”

“You’re an open book, Tomoko.” The position they’re in is awkward, no thanks to the swings’ metal bars clanking against each other uncomfortably, but Shinsō still can’t find it in himself to care. “And my Quirk made it so I had to read other people. You’re just really easy to read.”

“Uuuu,” she murmurs instead, and Shinsō pretends to not see the tears prickling at her eyes as she wipes at her face. She needs space. “I-I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.”

“It can be whatever you want it to be,” he squeezes her shoulders in what he hopes is comforting. His heart isn’t helping, but he still ducks his head and presses his nose into her hair. “It’s still something that I like about you.”

He keeps out the thought of wanting to pummel Ty into the ground. Even if he wants to, especially since Ty hurt Tomoko to the point of her still agonizing over him, that kind of thing wouldn’t help. Tomoko was still here and she needed a friend first, not a revenge-seeking Hero-hopeful student.

Tomoko seizes up this time. “Uuu… Uwah.” Then she’s slowly getting up and out of her swing, and Shinsō lets her, watching as she slowly makes her way to stand in front of him, hands gripping the hem of her skirt. She’s looking everywhere but him, she’s fidgeting, but Shinsō can’t deny how she actually looks cute. “H-How could you… you just say that without even minding…” there’s a sniffle. “H-Hitoshi-kun, could you…” Tomoko visibly swallows and through her bangs, Shinsō can see the beginnings of a waterfall. She opens her arms to him, shaking. “Could you…?”

Shinsō sighs this time and gets up from his swing, opening his arms in return. He wasn’t Gekkō, and he certainly wasn’t any Davy, but he could try. Leonhart could do it, so why not him? He could be a good rock for once. That was what Heroes were for, right? “Come here, you doofus,” he says gently.

Tomoko’s lip quivers and then she’s barrelling into his chest. The impact hurts, Shinsō’s reeling from the momentum, but Tomoko’s actually hugging him. Her hands are clutching the front of his T-shirt and something starts to soak the front of it. What the — Oh. Oh. She’s crying for real this time. “I can’t believe you sometimes. I-I thought, I thought,” she’s shivering, her voice muffled by his shirt, “I thought you weren’t going to believe me.”

Undiagnosed anxiety. Goddammit.

Shinsō presses a hand to her hair, petting it softly. “You haven’t given me a reason not to believe you,” he points out rationally, exhaling as deeply as he could. “You’re fine, Hoshino.”

Tomoko laughs shakily. “Wh-Why are you going back to my last name?”

Shinsō pretends to think on it before shaking his head and hugging her a bit tighter. “You’re still the same person you were when we first met. So, whether it’s Hoshino or Tomoko, it’s still you. And you’re okay.”

There’s a distinct sob in his shirt as Tomoko hugs him back tighter. “Aye… Aye…” she sniffles. “Y-You really are a Hero, Hitoshi-kun.”

Shinsō for once scoffs, shaking his head. “Says the girl who has all the heart in the world. I still want to insult Ty, by the way.” Tomoko tenses in the hug, but Shinsō holds her down with an extra squeeze to her waist. “But what was it that Gekkō said…?” He pauses, pretending to think on it again. “Ah. That.”

“That…?”

“Your heart saved the world, Tomoko,” Shinsō repeats from memory, and before Hoshino can respond, he finishes with a duck of his head and a smaller, heartfelt admission into the crown of her black hair. “…And you saved mine. You still do.”

A pause. Then Shinsō hears a surprised giggle out of Hoshino. It’s warm and for once, hopeful again. She’s still hugging him, but the wetness isn’t getting any bigger on his shirt for once and the shivers have stopped. “You helped me too, Hitoshi-kun,” she says in the same amount of quiet. “You saved me too.”

The thought suddenly occurs to him, so he says thoughtlessly, “Is this the part where I’m supposed to say ‘we saved each other’? Because I’m not good at those cheesy lines like you.”

Tomoko laughs again, happier in the gesture. The sheer relief in her laughter is palpable and, honestly, contagious. “J-Just hug me, you silly friend of mine.”

Shinsō hides a cheeky grin and presses his cheek to Tomoko’s hair. He can still smell the rosemary. “How’s the weather down there? Better?”

“Mm,” she murmurs absently, and he can feel her snuggle him. “Hitoshi-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Th-Thank you. Really. For saying all that. It… It helps convince that irrational part of me that still is on Ty’s side to shut up.” There’s another giggle, albeit watery and shy. Shinsō’s heart could leap out of his chest or do a dumpster dive into his gut — he’s not sure anymore. “Though, Hitoshi-kun, c-can I ask you one more thing?”

Shinsō loosens his hold to give her agency. “Sure.”

Tomoko slowly pulls out of the hug, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes while still gripping his shirt. “Even with my dark parts, even when I’m oblivious and clueless, are you…” she paused again, looking down before meeting his stare. Her blue eyes aren’t wavering, but they definitely show hesitance and vulnerability. A side of Hoshino Shinsō doesn’t think he’s seen before. “Are you still okay with me?”

Oh. The answer is immediate. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Tomoko fumbles, and her hands shake as she tries to find some kind of steady grip on his shirt. “I-I mean, I’m not exactly Hero material, Hitoshi-kun! I can talk a lot, I’m only really good at chocolate with my Quirk, and—”

Shinsō is very tempted to roll his eyes. “And? That’s supposed to relate to this in what way?”

The pink on Tomoko’s cheeks spreads outwards to be a light red. “Um. I wasn’t exactly finished…?”

Shinsō decides to take a page from Gekkō’s book by flicking Tomoko’s forehead. Ignoring her protesting “AH!”, he pulls her in by her shoulders to bump foreheads. He might have yanked too hard, but he still has something to say. Especially to that shadow hanging over her head. “You’re still my friend, Tomoko. Quit listening to whatever voice is in your head and listen to mine, will you?”

Tomoko is still staring at him. “Hitoshi-kun…”

Shinsō closes his eyes. “I have no clue what Ty did to you. I don’t think I want to know if you came here by yourself, missing a jerk like him. But you were able to cut him off. You made it here, and I…” his cheeks are burning too, but he still bites it out. “I’m still glad that I met you. No matter what.”

Tomoko stills. Then she shudders again. “O-Oh,” she says, her hands are still clutching the front of his shirt and her voice shakes, but there’s a smile in the sound. “Y-You are good at those cheesy lines after all, Hitoshi-kun.”

Shinsō opens his eyes and looks into bright blue. Tomoko’s eyes could’ve been like the sky. “I got it from you, you doofus.”

A single, lone tear rolls down Tomoko’s cheek as she nods. “A-Aye, aye.” There’s another pause and Tomoko nods again, as if confirmation to herself before smiling wider at him. “I’m glad I met you too, Hitoshi-kun.”

Shinsō grins wryly and reaches over with his right hand to wipe the tear away. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon, Tomoko. Let’s go back home to the dorms. I’ll drive.”

“Y-You mean,” Tomoko reaches up to hold his hand in one of hers, leaning into it with a fond smile, “You’ll bike and I’ll be riding with you?”

“Don’t harp on it.” He returns the grip even if he’s blushing, but Tomoko’s smiling and now things feel like how it’s supposed to be. Warm and just right. “Unless you need tissues?”

Tomoko laughs again. “N-Nah. Just one thing.”

“What’s that—”

Shinsō feels himself turn to granite once Tomoko leans over to press a kiss to his cheek. Did that just—

The warmth disappears as quickly as it came and Tomoko smiles at him, still pink in the face. Did she just— “Now we can go home!” she declares happily, and without a single second to spare, she pulls back to start skipping towards his bike, waving at him once she arrives. “C’mon, Hitoshi-kun!”

Yep. His friend just kissed him. Whoop-de-fucking-do.

Shinsō covers his cheek with his other hand, blinking rapidly. “H-Hoshino, what the heck—”

“Just a form of gratitude!” she chirps and he doesn’t know if he’s fooling himself or not, but she’s still blushing. Just like him. “C’mon, Hitoshi-kun, let’s go!”

“…What the hell,” he says in tired disbelief before shaking his head. Maybe he could talk about that later because she couldn’t just do that and expect him not to react. “I hope you’re not heavy, unless you want to be dropped.”

“Hey!” Tomoko’s pouting. “I’ll hang on! If you don’t mind me hugging your waist and all!”

Shinsō scoffs under his breath, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. “I will so beat Ty’s ass for you.”

“Fweh? What was that?”

“Nothing. Let’s just go, Tomoko.”

The Chocolate Fairy beams. “Aye aye then, Cap’n.”

Doofus.

Shinsō could talk with Aizawa-sensei later. There wasn’t really a handbook on how Heroes handled romance, anyways. Maybe he’d have the answer another day. For now, he’d take this much.

For now.

#shinsō hitoshi #hoshino tomoko #writing #my hero academia #alternate universe #oneshot #long post #tw: implied abuse #chocolate seashell

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estelofimladris · 5 years

Text

My Longest Day Ever in Fandom

This has been one of the hardest 48 hours for me as a fan. Really they’ve been pretty bad in the scope of me being a person, but in my fandom experience, this shit takes the cake.

** WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR The Magicians as well as some minor spoilers for Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers: Infinity War, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Flash, and Supergirl. **

** ALSO: This shit gets super personal. Don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable. **

I get that I’m specifically interested in stories of struggle and triumph. I thrive with stories about how the things worth having aren’t easily obtained. And sometimes people fail and sometimes people lie. There are horrible obstacles and things to conquer.

A bit of my fandom-inflicted past:

Will Turner was my favorite Pirates character. We had tickets not only to the three-movie marathon on opening day, but then the midnight screening. I nearly didn’t go to the second screening.

Sirius Black is why I got into Harry Potter. I got into it at the weird middle place when the books were still coming out and the movies were being made. I had been forced to read the first book when it was first published and it had left a very bad taste for me so the fact that anything could draw me into the fandom was insane. I watched Prisoner of Azkaban entirely by chance while hanging with my cousins and had read all the books by the time Goblet of Fire was released. I lived in and loved a fandom where my favorite character was dead before I even got a chance to know him.

Grant Ward was one of my two my favorite Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. characters. I rushed a Ward cosplay for WonderCon, which happened to be scheduled about a week after the release of Captain America: The Winter Soldier and less than a week after the AoS episode “Turn, Turn, Turn” aired, revealing that Ward was a brainwashed and abused Hydra sleeper agent the whole time. I then nearly scrapped the entirely completed cosplay. Instead I wore it to WonderCon and had people whispering “Hail Hydra” to me all weekend.

I spent at least three years living with a TV curse. Every show that I watched before its renewal for a second season was cancelled. To this day, I struggle to watch new shows because I fear that I will fall in love with a show only for it to be cancelled.

In the past year, I have lost 5 of my favorite characters to sudden deaths/departures:

Bucky Barnes (Avengers: Infinity War)

Harry Wells (The Flash)

Leo Fitz (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Winn Schott (Supergirl)

And this is about the most recent one, Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians)

I also know that there are more to come:

Avengers: Endgame comes out next week.

Arrow is ending at the end of this year.

There are more stories of woe and uncomfortable spaces in which we want to see our favorites succeed and they fail or lose or die. But this, this is more than just someone failing or losing or dying.

I survived all that other shit. I was a little off for a few days following or weeks or months or even years. But we always come back to Fandom. Maybe not the same fandom, but the big idea of Fandom. Being a fan isn’t something you can really just stop.

I got into The Magicians because of serendipity. Two of my closest friends got into the show at some point last year and had mentioned that I’d liked it, but it was one in a malaise of fandoms that I’d been told that about and I only have so many hours in the day and space in my heart. One of the people I was rooming with at SDCC this last year had freshly gotten into the show and was going to the panel. Another of my friends was going to the panel as well who had freshly gotten into the show. When I asked about it afterwards, the lovely human said they’d met a lovely other new fan. My friends had met entirely by chance at the panel and I got to hear all about how lovely the fandom was and that it was a really great panel with a lot of promise for the new season.

I got home from SDCC and, one day while curious, watched the pilot of The Magicians.

I finished the show in less than three weeks. I watched it again. I’ve probably watched this show more than any other media since August.

A bit of background about me and why this show struck a very deep chord with me:

I met my entire close group of friends, my found family, because of Lord of the Rings. I learned Sindarin (elvish) in high school. Every screen name I have is related to my love and foundation of loving Lord of the Rings. I have a tattoo in elvish.

I grew up around a lot of mental illness. I myself have been diagnosed and treated for adolescent/adult ADD, but members of my family as well as every best friend I’ve ever had, has been depressed and most were suicidal. I had to confront my best friend over suicide attempts at 13. My brother was treated for extremely aggressive childhood depression when I was a kid.

I’m also queer. Still working to unstick myself from some definitions I’ve given myself, but I’m definitely genderqueer and androphilic and exploring my romantic identity in part because of this show.

I’ve delt with death my whole life. My first grandparent (maternal grandfather) died when I was 5 or 6. My last grandparent (paternal grandmother) died when I was 22. I had a dear friend die in a motorcycle accident in 2015. I’ve been there for people who have lost loved ones suddenly and held people’s hands through the deaths of parents, loved ones, and children.

I also am about to complete my third and final year of an insanely rigorous graduate costume design program.

This show felt like it was made for me to love it. It made it so easy.

The fandom was a loving community that welcomed me immediately and I have thrived there. I would come home from a crazy day at school, put on an episode of the show, and get lost in the lovely fandom that I’d found myself in. I mean that both ways. Yes, I tripped and fell and found myself among excellent people. But more importantly, I found myself in ways I didn’t expect through The Magicians.

Through a series of very unfortunate events, I stopped reading Fan Fiction about 7 or 8 years ago. I would occasionally write something, but nothing that I cared about what anyone thought about it. It was only writing that had to be written not writing for an audience in any way.

The Magicians got me reading Fan Fiction again. I drew fan art. I participated in discussions on the meta. I joined in when I don’t really have the free time, but it felt so good.

In Quentin in particular, I found a part of myself that was seldom voiced. This melancholy nerd who was Doing His Very Best™ all the time tapped into the kid who loved something so much it transformed their life. It spoke to the parts of me that I don’t talk about that feel like a fraud and a floundering fool. The Magicians told me that I’m not some pathetic thing. That I’m part of my world and that I belong. That it’s ok to re-think about sexuality and romance as an adult. It spoke to my struggles with school and creating something from absolutely fucking nothing.

Something that I’ve not told many people: I’ve struggled with feeling worthy of love. I’ve had some really big relationships that ended poorly and ever since coming out as genderqueer and living my truth, I’ve been single. Watching Quentin be so worthy of love and struggle with that himself, he really shifted my views on relationships.

So, Wednesday was, needless to say, rough.

The fun twist though, I have a mandatory class on Thursday mornings. I had a lot of anxiety about this finale already because I had a notion that something horrible was going to happen because its a Magicians finale. I really struggled to work on homework for the past week. (I texted a friend on Wednesday “How am I supposed to work under these conditions!?” partway through the day.)

This anxiety resulted in not all of my homework being done by the time I had set aside to cook a delicious dinner and settle in to watch the episode with friends. So at the end, after I had cried, drank, nearly threw up from being upset, and was all-in-all a complete wreck, I then proceeded to work on homework until I couldn’t, then I put myself to bed with an alarm set to wake up early and finish, but woke up with a nearly-vomiting anxiety attack (which I don’t get ever) an hour before my alarm.

I finished my homework on my 1.5 hours of sleep, went to class, tried to be eloquent and not burst into tears. I sorta succeeded at both, thankfully. My work was... sub-par, but present, which was the only real requirement. Despite some close calls, I didn’t cry until I was in my car driving home.

I got home, cried a lot, tried to eat and sleep (and failed at both) and ended up having a second wake with another friend and drinking, which finally made me fall asleep.

Throughout the day, I seriously considered deleting every Magicians post from my queue and even my Tumblr as a whole. I thought about dropping out of fandom entirely, including conventions, cosplay - all of it. I thought about selling or donating all of the considerable amount of Magicians merch and related items (cosplay, decor, fan-made merch) that I’ve accumulated in the past few months. I thought about shaving off the hair that I grew out specifically for Quentin that helped me re-shape my queer identity over the past few months.

I woke up in the middle of the night again with more panic attacks. It took sitting with my best friend to make me really fall asleep and stay asleep.

Today, I’m looking back at this whole experience up to this point and I’m so exhausted. I’m tired of crying over something that just brought me so much deep joy. I miss my fandom. We’re all in mourning and its chilling.

I decided somewhere in my insanity yesterday that I need to reclaim The Magicians that I loved. I posted about how it will take time, but they can’t kill the love that transformed my life.

I’m still not sure how to get out of this horrible raw place, but I know time will help. And actually eating a real meal.

I’m sharing all of this because I’m not the only one in this place. If you’re struggling, you are not alone.

I see you. I feel you.

Thank you for being a part of this fandom that has so heavily enriched my life. You are loved. We will find ourselves again.

#personal #but also about the magicians #fandom #the magicians #quentin coldwater #i'm a fucking disaster right now

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yukiwrites · 6 years

Text

In a Hurry to Meet Them

Thank you so much for commissioning me again, @breeachuu! I hope you like it! ;v;)b

Summary: Cressida and Leo simply can’t wait to meet their baby, but a sudden expedition separates the Prince from his wife. Now he’ll need to hurry and finish his business so he can meet his new family...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

Part 1 - Part 2

One would think that, after the initial excitement, Prince Leo and his wife Cressida would get used to the idea of seeing their baby grow inside of her. Little did they know that they would only get even more anxious about it all as the pregnancy progressed.

Leo invented hundreds of different kinds of nutritional and dubious-colored drinks for Cressida to 'nurture' herself with, in his words. One more disgusting-looking and foul-smelling than the other, though they all contained the right vitamins and nutrients.

"Leo, I thought we were over this." Cressida turned her head away from the mud-colored drink her husband offered her. "Besides, it's hardly necessary now." She looked down to her 37 weeks belly, its due date closer by the second.

"Nonsense," the prince replied, still hovering the glass in front of his wife. "There’s no such thing as too many nutrients. You'll need to be strong for the labor, after all."

Cressida lifted her chin, defiant. "Aren't I plenty strong already, my mage husband?" She lifted Leo's face with one finger, her eyes ready to pick a fight.

Leo smirked back, knowing full well he was no match for his wife in physical strength. "Don't twist my words, my overworking wife. I need you to be in top shape for when our baby comes. If he or she has at least a tenth of your innate strength, then I'll consider it a win."

The bow knight deflated, leaning back at the pillows by their bed's headboard. Stroking her stomach, she looked nowhere in particular, a soft smile over her lips. "I just want it to be born safely. Our own family." She whispered, slightly grasping Leo's hand and taking it to her belly.

Leo's chin trembled in emotion, making him turn his eyes away so he wouldn't cry for the hundredth time after thinking about their tiny baby. "I'll be there with you the whole time; we'll go through it together, as we've always had." He brought Cressida's hand to his face, kissing it under his flushed cheeks.

Peace.

Those were the moments Cressida couldn't even come up with a snarky remark to say, or a tease to liven up the mood. It was the perfect balance of happiness and hope for the future.

"As we've always had." She repeated under her breath, closing her eyes. It was barely after noon, but she was already exhausted. Being pregnant was way more taxing than she thought, but she knew it all would be worthy the moment she'd see her baby.

The moment that she and her husband would share together: to hear their baby's first cry and hold he or she as clumsily as Cressida knew Leo would. Ah, she wanted to meet her baby already!

Leo placed a kiss on Cressida's forehead and got up, holding the foul drink he knew he wouldn't convince Cressida to drink. "Well then, I'll be going to that meeting with Xander. I wonder what's the rush about."

The bow knight twisted her lips, bringing one hand to her chest. "The messenger did say it was urgent."

The prince put on his waistcoat, nodding to his wife as he did the buttons.

Or tried to.

"Pfft..." Cressida snorted, extending one hand. "Come here; you put everything on the wrong side."

Leo blushed furiously. "I- I can dress myself, thank you!" He quickly took it off and put it back on the right way, turning his back to Cressida so he could do the buttons while looking at the mirror. All under her laughter.

"Ahaha, ouch ouch, hah!" She gurgled, her body shaking with mirth. Laughing too hard while that heavily pregnant was very hard, but every single time was worth the discomfort.

"Hey, that's enough already! I'm fully dressed now!" He narrowed his eyes, stiffing his back. His posture would be imposing were he not as red as a tomato.

"I-I think, pfft... You'd better leave quickly before I laugh myself to death." She shooed him away with a gesture, placing one hand over her mouth to hold in her smile. Little did she know that that would be the last time she would smile before her child was born.

Flustered, Leo left in a hurry, closing the door behind him. He placed his forehead over it and breathed in and out a few times so as to calm himself, though the smirk never managed to leave his mien. "I'll get back to her after she gives birth. Just you wait, Cressida!" He vowed with a determined frown over his brow, closing his fist. "But before that, the meeting."

As though nothing had happened, Leo walked towards Xander's study, announcing himself before entering. "Brother. You've sent for me?"

The prince found a busy King behind a pile of documents as always, though his frown seemed deeper and more exasperated than usual. "Leo. Well met. Sit."

"Is something the matter, Xander?"

The King sighed heavily, leaning back on his chair. "Our spies confirmed that the nobles of the houses Whitster, Rothbreed and Knapbrandt are indeed planning to meet behind our backs at the Marquess Whitster manor in a week's time."

"Confound those wretched traitors!" Leo felt a vein snap on his temple. "This is open treachery, Brother! Now that the warmongering Father is out of the way, they're planning a coup!"

Xander clicked his tongue, throwing the document he had been examining to Leo. It spiralled in the air and landed right in front of the prince. "I need you to go there right away, Leo. Make they remember who they truly serve and make them wonder if their little fantasy of going against the Crown is truly worthy of their lands, titles and lives."

Leo looked over the paper: it contained a brief of those Houses' finances and links to each other, as well as how they've been diverting tax money of their fiefs for over forty years instead of handing it to the Crown. His eyes gleamed with a dark glow, a triumphant smile creeping on the sides of his lips. "If any of this is spread out to the public, their people will riot... Given how badly they've been treated for the past half century, I'm certain that they'll need but a spark to blow up. Quite literally."

Xander took off his crown, massaging the bridge between his eyes. "Hopefully it shan't come to that; however, if they are uncooperative, do not put that behind you, Little Brother."

"Leave it to me, Brother." Leo nodded, running his eyes over the remaining papers scattered about. "I shall depart at once."

"Forgive me for placing such a burden on you right during this important time for you and Cressida." Xander exhaled, not knowing what sleep was for the past two days.

Leo froze as he got up, having completely forgotten how long it would take to sort all of that out. Oh no. Cressida was due in less than two weeks, but ONLY the trip to Whitster’s estate would take five days. Not to mention the trip back, he would still need to settle all matters there and make sure everything was accounted for before returning.

He would miss his baby's birth.

Midway to the words, Leo opened and closed his mouth in disbelief. Not a moment after, however, he bit his own tongue to place himself in reality, shaking his head so the pain would ground him. "Don't worry, Brother. I understand my duty. Now, if you excuse me, I have a lot to prepare."

"Of course." Xander said, not having the luxury to feel for his brother. Not yet.

Barely was Leo out of the study, he already began barking orders to the servants so they would prepare for the trip. He also asked Niles and Odin to meet him privately later that night, his expression somber.

By the time he was back at his and Cressida's quarters, it was already way into the evening as it turned to night. The bow knight couldn't stay put despite her approaching due date, so she was doing whatever she could to help, be it sorting documents for her husband or making sure that his guard was always trained and on standby for any calls to duty.

She had just dismissed a soldier when her husband came back, his expression as dark as it left the King's study. "How'd it go? What happened?"

Silently, Leo reached out to Cressida's hand, pulling her back to their room and closing the door behind them. He ever so lightly hugged her, taking her scent in, feeling her belly rubbing on his abdomen. "Xander just discovered a ploy to overthrow the Crown and I'll have to go there to show them that we're not to be trifled with."

Cressida's stomach turned at the mention of a threat to the Royal family -- to her prince -- but did her best to pull away from Leo to look him in the eyes. She knew he wasn't simply worried about such travesty; he had been looking forward to watch their baby be born just as much as she did, after all. "Leo..."

Hearing Cressida's concerned voice made his eyebrow flicker with emotion. "Maybe if I manage to quell everything in one day? Then it'll take me exactly ten days to go and come back; assuming I arrive early in the morning and leave at late evening-"

As he spoke, Cressida slowly ran her hands upwards through his shoulders, neck and finally ears. She then gripped at them and threw her head back before headbutting him in the middle of his forehead. "Leo! Wake up!"

"O-ouch!? What's gotten into you, Cressida!?" He stumbled backwards, massaging his now red forehead.

"What's gotten into you, you foolish prince!" She placed both hands over her hips. "Don't overestimate yourself so much that you can easily plan for something as crucial as this with such little time! Take your role and, most importantly, your health seriously. Do you really think you'll be able to do everything on the very day you arrive after spending a week on the road? You barely have stamina to run down to the underground city and back without wheezing your life out."

"H-hey, to be fair, those stairs are steep." He grumbled, clearing his throat. "But you're right," his shoulders sagged as he pulled his cravat out, "I'm putting my personal feelings before my duty."

Cressida pressed her lips into a thin line, reaching out for Leo's forehead to massage it. "I wish I could go with you."

"Now who’s being unreasonable here, hm?" He placed one hand over hers, closing his eyes to enjoy her little massage. "I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Who knows," Cressida snorted, "you could come back on time for the delivery -- I'll just need to keep our baby inside until you arrive."

Leo sputtered. "As if that's possible, my crazy wife."

The bow knight bobbed her head to the sides as Leo leaned on the door, wrapping his arms around her back. "Who knows, I might actually do it."

"Hah," he sneered, snuggling on her cheek. "Thank you for cheering me up."

Cressida's lips trembled in emotion, wanting to yell and cry for him to stay, to hold her hand, to be with her during the scariest moment of her life... But she wouldn't. She would hold on; she would be the wife Leo had married, someone who would support him and be by his side no matter where his duties would take him.

"I was serious, though..." She managed to playfully say, despite her inner turmoil. "C'mon, let's get you started on the preparations. Are you leaving first thing in the morning?"

"Wha- How did you gues- Wait, it's rather obvious isn't it."

"Well, we are talking about a capital offense, after all."

"Yeah, but no-- I've already instructed the servants to pack my things. I want to just... hold your hand tonight. Be with you until you sleep."

Once again Cressida felt the twinge of a lonely wife that already missed her husband whose warmth was still imprinted on her body. Once again she gulped and forced a smile. "If you insist." She winked, pulling him to the bed. "But I still want to hear the details, so start talking."

"Sheesh, that's the last time I try to be romantic." He teased, finally smiling from the heart. He truly married the perfect woman for him; how could he ever repay all that she's done and endured for him? Oh, Cressida!

As instructed, Niles and Odin were waiting by Leo and Cressida's anteroom by midnight, wondering what else their lord could want that he hasn't already mentioned earlier.

"Thanks for coming, both of you." He greeted with a head nod, then raised his hand as both of them moved to the nearby desk. "No need to sit; I'll be brief."

"What's this about, Lord Leo? I think I might die of anticipation." Odin shivered.

"Hush now, Odin. What I have to say is too important for theatrics." He looked down as he mustered strength, clenching his hands. He only spoke after looking up. "As you both know, I'll only be taking Niles with me to the estate." He said, watching as the retainers exchanged glances and understanding nods. "As such, I ask of you, Odin."

"Yes, Lord Leo." Odin straightened his back under his lord's piercing gaze.

It took Leo more than a moment to find the right words, a lump on his throat making it impossible to speak. His face started reddening, but at that point, he stopped caring. He was simply too worried about his wife to care about decorum.

"I... Please take care of Cressida for me." He said it all in one strangled breath, his voice low and serious. "I'm leaving her at the most crucial point of her pregnancy and- and I need her to be safe and well looked after. I'm asking this not only as your lord, but as your friend as well. Please be with her at all times and make sure that she's well and healthy."

Odin sniffled. "Y-you can count on this Odin, Lord Leo! I'll see that Lady Cressida is never alone and always in great spirits!"

"Right." Leo coughed, "she likes her alone time, so don't do anything to stress her, either, alright? Be, I don't know, a shadow or something. You're good at this 'dark' thing, right?"

"You may leave it to Odin Dark to be an invisible protector!" The retainer struck a pose as his partner crossed his arms and shook his head.

For a second there, Leo almost regretted asking, but it soon faded out as he turned his gaze to Niles. "Oh yeah, Niles. As we spoke before..." he started talking strategies and possible outcomes of the meetings, soon being absorbed by it.

At the next morning, Cressida woke up before Leo as usual, but this time she didn't wake him up. She simply snuggled on his chest for as long as she could until someone came to call him to depart.

They shared a lonely and short kiss inside their room before he left, their hands lingering on each other even after he opened the door, their minds already wanting him to be back. "Be safe, Cressida."

"Pfft, you're the one about to quell a rebellion. Please don't be reckless. I don't want my child to be fatherless right after being born."

"Hah, don't worry. Our child will grow old before they're rid of me." He said with confidence, though his expression was no less somber.

They nodded once again, finally parting their hands from one another. Leo walked at large steps, his cape fluttering behind him. "Be safe." Cressida whispered under her breath, looking down to hold her stomach. "Don't be in a hurry to be born, you hear? Let's wait for your father."

Due to the secrecy of his mission, no delivery birds were to be sent to Leo before he sent his own confirming his success, which only made Cressida even more anxious. Each passing day she would visit the pigeon’s coop, not finding the bird Leo had taken with him. She religiously went there, making it a daily exercise of sorts.

Camilla would try to smother her every now and then, but she could scarcely care, save from the occasions she would lose her breath over the princess' bear hugs. The most calming times she found in that extreme loneliness were during tea with Azura.

The princess was someone akin to Cressida -- she also enjoyed her alone time more than the next person and prized silence, too.

Don't get Cressida wrong, she loved her new family and... tolerated her husband's retainer, Odin, who stayed behind to be with her; but most of them weren't people who would click with her. Kamui was her former commander and now Queen, so her very presence, despite her own willingness to be called family, brought Cressida unease. Camilla and Elise had differing ways of expressing happiness, all of which consisted in physical contact or spending time together. Don't get her started on Xander, who would always be her superior.

With Azura, however, Cressida found a piece of home that only Leo could fill. The princess didn't ask questions nor would want to monopolize Cressida's time. She was content with simply sharing tea and enjoying the silence.

It was during one of these, a week after Leo had departed (a week of silence from his side, as well), that Cressida first felt it: a twinge on her lower back, close to her pelvis. "Ouch-" she cringed, losing grasp of the teacup, watching it fall and shatter on the floor.

"Cressida?! Are you alright?" Azura got up and quickly started to gather the pieces. "What happened?"

"I feel-" the bow knight put one hand over her mouth, her anxious emotions spiralling out of control, making her nauseous. "I don't feel very wel- It m-might be time." She exhaled, trying to remember the breathing exercises the healer had taught her throughout her term.

"Oh, my!" Azura brought one hand to her mouth in surprise. "I'm going to call the midwife, give me just-"

"Wait-" Cressida gripped at Azura's pulse with more strength than intended, feeling a contraction hit her violently. "C-could you stay with me? During it all? I- I need someone to be there." She confessed, her lips trembling and eyes welling up.

Azura straightened her back, resolute. "Of course I'll stay with you, Cressida. But now I need to call the midwife, may I?" She glanced at her increasingly pale hand, which Cressida let go as quickly as she grabbed it once she realized how much force she was using.

Leo, oh, Leo! Why aren't you here? Cressida thought over and over as the pain increased, already knowing the answer, unable to barely walk by herself. Odin had rushed in and carried her to the room they had prepared for the birthing, oddly calm about it all. He followed all of the midwife's instructions, up to the part where she made all men leave the room so they could proceed with the birthing.

"Looks like the baby's in a hurry, so it's gonna be born at any moment, now!" She said, pushing Odin out of the room, not allowing the other princesses in. "I shouldn't even allow one to be inside, ladies."

"That is unfair, Azura." Camilla complained behind the closed door. "I'm the one who accompanied Cressida's pregnancy from up close."

Amidst the pain and lightheadedness, Cressida smiled weakly, glad that Camilla wasn't the one holding her hand at that moment. Sure, she would give in to the hug later, but for that moment, she needed to be herself; to be the woman she couldn't be when she saw her husband leave.

She felt warm tears stream down her face -- how long had it been since she had cried of pain! And yet, she could barely feel it under all the rush of emotions going through her heart. Happiness. Grief. Regret. Joy. Hope. Love.

Consciousness slipped away from her as she lost strength in all of her limbs for a moment, only being brought back by a strange yet familiar cry.

"It's a boy!" She heard someone say over the crying, her own tears making her unable to see very well.

"Oh, Leo..." Cressida said, delirious. "He's here, Leo, our little boy... our family..." she shook her head from one side to the other, finally being able to breathe.

Witnessing Cressida's incoherent declaration of love, Azura brought her free hand to her face in emotion.

Outside the room, the princesses celebrated in joy, hugging each other as a very serious retainer excused himself. He would write to Lord Leo, even if it meant to break decorum. Leo needed to know that his son had been born safely.

Coincidentally, Odin's letter arrived at the very moment Leo was about to send his own to the castle, so as to report on his success. There was only one sentence written in the whole paper: "It's a boy."

The prince felt his eyes burn with tears as a silly smile splattered across his face. He knew he would feel regret from missing the birthing, but for that moment, for that single moment… He only felt bliss. His boy as well! His wonderful wife and healthy son waited for him! Ah, how he wish the horses had wings! "Niles! Call the convoy! We're leaving right away!"

#fire emblem fates #leo #fatesona #azura #fanfic commissions #Yuki's Commissions #my writings

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