#like think about it. garrus getting a rocket to the face is only talked about for a couple voice lines and then they all move on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ramblinganthropologist · 3 years

Text

Crossed over

Summary: Garrus has something to tell Shepard before they get down to pound town. Same hat, though? Same hat.

(I wrote this originally for pride but didn’t finish it in time. Yes I am 100% pulling this out of my ass, but who cares. My city now.)

---

Shit.

Garrus’ heart was still racing as the door to the main battery shut in front of him. Only moments prior, the Normandy’s commander had been standing there, chatting with him. Well… chatting wasn’t really the right word. Propositioning, maybe? That felt more on the face plate to him, but it just sounded so salacious for something coming from the man people had dubbed humanity’s boy scout.

He didn’t know what a boy scout was, but he was fairly sure they didn’t make suggestions like that…

“I guess I need to… ask Mordin about this.”

His hand hesitated on his omni-tool before he could make the call. The salarian would be good for positioning and allergic warnings, but he didn’t need that at the moment. That wasn’t going to quiet the frantic racing of his heart. He needed somebody else for that, someone he was still on shaky terms with.

But he needed someone would listen and not need a million clarifying questions…

His talons typed in the familiar number, and it was soon sending out the request. Thanks to being so close to a mass relay, it would go through no problem. Well, that and the fact Cerberus had souped up the Normandy’s communication system in several definitely off the market and illegal ways. Though that really wasn’t his problem anymore – he hadn’t been part of C-SEC for over two years.

Just… old habits die hard he supposed.

The call took a few seconds to connect, but he soon heard the sounds of Palaven on the other end. Garrus felt his stomach drop as he realized just how late it was on his homeworld. No doubt he had woken up the other party from a deep sleep – that was strike two for him before he had said a word.

Strike one, naturally, was going off on Omega and becoming a mercenary who took a rocket to the face. She was still mad about that.

“Garrus?”

Solana sounded tired. He could hear her shifting on the other end, no doubt because she had been in bed and fast asleep. Guilt swarmed in his stomach, but his resolve pushed it away. As the humans said it, in for a penny in for a pound.

And boy, he was going to get a pounding…

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The humans of the Normandy would’ve never noticed it, but no doubt his sister had already picked up on just how frantic he sounded. Right then, any turian within a couple hundred yards probably could’ve picked it up. Hell, a passing ship might have even gotten the hint if they hadn’t been in FTL drive. But he tried anyway – he had his pride in the end.

“Uh, hey, Solana. Sorry, I realize it’s late and all, but- “

Right then, he could imagine her mandibles twitching in annoyance, but also the gleam in her eyes that gave away just how curious she actually was. After all, he wasn’t the call home type. Never had been really, especially after their mother had passed. It just sort of got pushed to the back and they caught up when they could.

“Gar, you’re freaking out so loud the humans are going to hear it. You’re not dying again, are you?”

Hey, that had been a one-time deal. It wasn’t like he had a habit of taking rockets to the face or anything…

Garrus took a deep breath to steady himself once more, and he allowed his body some respite by dropping it onto the cot he kept in the battery. Sure, he probably could’ve had a bunk elsewhere – but that would’ve been with humans who had no problems working with Cerberus. As the object of his anxiety would’ve put it, taco was good out there.

He still didn’t get that – what did food have to do with displeasure? Humans were weird…

“I’m fine.” His mandibles twitched. “Just… had a talk with Shepard.”

Solana’s subvocals were curiosity city as she leaned in. “The big one or the dead one?”

“He’s not dead anymore…” Garrus’ voice trailed off. “And the little one, yeah.”

On the other end of the line, he heard his sister chuckle. “What, did you two have a fight about calibrating or something? That’s not exactly something to call me over, Gar. He’s not going to kick you off the…”

Her voice trailed off, no doubt because she had put the pieces together. He felt his stomach squirm as he waited in the pregnant silence, knowing the ball was going to drop any second. Really, this was the last thing he wanted to tell her…

“Please tell me you told him before you two fucked.”

Garrus’ mandibles almost let him lift off the ground as he jumped to his feet on instinct. “We haven’t… not yet. We were just… he made suggestions. I think we’re going to eventually, once we both put some research in. Kind of hard to smash a turian and a human together and all…”

His voice trailed off, realizing just how awkward he sounded. Really, the logical side of him knew he was being ridiculous. It wasn’t like he was a virgin like Shepard was. There were a few lovers in his past, so for the most part he knew what he was doing. It was just… well, humans were odd.

Solana’s voice was steadier the next time she spoke. “So… you’re planning to fuck your CO.”

“Yes, I know, I’m a walking stereotype.” The embarrassment could have choked a krogan. “Honestly… I don’t even know why I called. I just…”

His sister finished for him. “You’re worried about how he’s going to react if you tell him, because you’re planning on filling him in.”

Garrus was left standing there in the battery, mandibles almost to the bottom of his neck. He had no idea what kind of vocals he must’ve been giving off then, but they had to be something. After all, Solana wasn’t making fun of him. When it came to his love life, she loved nothing more than doing that. It was some older sister commandment: thou shalt pick on thy little brother for his terrible interest in people.

So… yeah.

“Gar?”

He shook his head. “Yeah, I guess that’s it,”

Solana shifted a pillow on the other end. “He’s a medic, right? He’ll at least understand it that way.”

Enough interaction with medical staff had taught Garrus that didn’t mean a whole lot of anything. Besides, he wasn’t looking for a checkup, this was practically starting… something. And maybe that’s why his stomach shifted so badly at the thought of it as he glanced around the battery.

Shit…

“I mean… do they even hold classes on that outside of turian occupied areas?” He sighed. “It’s easier with us… I don’t know how a human is going to feel about it.”

His sister’s subvocals shifted to something that reminded him of when he had been smaller, and she had stood by him on the playground. He was bigger than her now… but something about it was oddly comforting. It was also kind of embarrassing, but he was going to take what he could get at the moment.

“Well, if he starts shit, tell him to count his days.”

Despite his anxiety, Garrus found himself chuckling. “You’re really going to threaten the first human Spectre?”

“He died once; I can make it happen again if he hurts you.” The certainty in Solana’s voice was a strange comfort then. “Seriously, if he has a problem with it, then he’s an ass and he’s not worth it. Not your fault he’s a dumb human who doesn’t get what it means.”

Another chuckle – he knew when he had lost a fight. “Thanks, but I think I can handle it. Besides, you’re kind of on Palaven.”

Not that that meant anything – piss Solana off enough and she’d find a way to show up.

“Lucky him.” Solana let out a yawn that helped Garrus know their call was ending. “I mean it, Garrus. If he says anything…”

He found the knot in his stomach loosening as he sat back down. “I’ll send you our coordinates.”

“That’s my little brother. Now, get the hell off the line. I gotta get up for work in 4 hours.”

Well, love you too…

Still, Garrus let his sister go and the battery lapsed into silence once more as the call ended. He could hear life on the other side of the heavy door as the crew went about their duties, but right then it didn’t matter. He had made up his mind over the course of the call, so now he felt more resolute.

Was he still terrified? Absolutely. Humans were fucking unpredictable. After all, who else launches out of a mass effect field and starts fighting with the first sentient species they meet? They had a species wide death wish or something…

But that didn’t matter then. Now it was time to figure out what he wanted to say. And at least he had time for that as he waited for the big gun in front of him to show him some data.

---

A few weeks later, and there he was. Garrus shifted from foot to foot as the elevator door opened and let him out. He had been to the top of the Normandy before, enough that he knew the layout. Past that door was the object of his anxiety, waiting on the pretense of a talk about what they were planning.

Maybe it had been a while since he had last had sex, but he definitely didn’t remember that much thought put into it before. Was it because he was getting older, or because his partner was a squishy human?

“That you, Garrus?”

Shepard’s soft voice carried through the metal. Something about it always set the turian’s heart beating a little faster. In those moments, he found it hard to talk. So, in the end he just stood there like an idiot.

This was going great, clearly.

Thankfully, Shepard wasn’t a stupid man. His head appeared through the open door, checking to make sure he was ok. Today he had his hair pulled behind his head – he was fairly sure he called it a ponytail – and out of his face. No doubt he had been working with Saren. The hamster had full face privileges at pretty much anytime. And yes, he was jealous of a hamster for that.

So sue him.

The words brought hm back to life. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, guess I was more tired than I thought.”

The Spectre smiled at him as he motioned for Garrus to follow. Just as the turian had thought, he had been working with his hamster. From the looks of things, it had been a deep clean and a cage change if the shredded bedding meant anything. No doubt the man in charge of it all had been cleaning it up when he had come calling.

“What’s Saren got this time?”

Shepard gestured to the cage as they moved past his desk towards the sitting area. “I went for an under the sea theme. It seemed appropriate; he is living in the old fish tank system.”

That would explain the sunken ship half buried in the substrate. He had to hand it to the human, he really knew how to spoil his pets…

Together they sat at the table, Garrus positioned so he could just see Shepard’s unmade bed in the background. It was so close, but it felt like lightyears away. He was supposed to get on that eventually with the Spectre…

Talk about nearly giving himself a heart attack.

“Anyway, you wanted to talk about …”

Shepard’s voice dropped and his cheeks turned pink. Humans called that blushing, and it was pretty noticeable on the ones with light skin. It usually turned the Spectre krogan rampage red if he got going, so things weren’t too bad yet. He could work with this.

Still, Garrus felt tense as he gazed over at the human. At least both of them were nervous about this, so he didn’t feel completely stupid. In a way, that was helpful as he tried to find the words he had practiced for a week.

Naturally, they had abandoned him at the sight of those blue eyes. He was a sucker for blue…

“Yeah. There was something… I needed to tell you.”

His talons tucked against each other as he tried to keep from looking at the human. “Just so we both know what we’re getting into and all.”

“You’re not allergic to human body fluids, are you?”

Shepard was so matter of fact in his tone that Garrus felt himself chuckling without meaning to do it. Leave it to the Spectre to find a way to relax him without consciously attempting it. Maybe that was his real superpower – the biotics were just a fun perk.

But yeah… maybe he could do this.

“No, I’m good there.” Another deep breath. “Just uh… I don’t really tell people this. None of their business, and most non-turians wouldn’t get it anyway.”

At that, Garrus paused and checked the sight in front of him. Shepard was watching him, analyzing him maybe. He had stopped nervously tugging at the end of his ponytail, and his hands were in his lap. From the looks of things, he had the Spectre’s undivided attention.

No pressure.

“Something up, Garrus? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t- “

He held up his hand. “No, I feel like I should. We’re getting kind of… close.”

The tension rippled across his carapace as he felt it on the tip of his tongue. “Do… you know what it means to be crossed?”

At that point, the translating function on their omni-tools went haywire. Whatever Shepard normally heard when it worked, he definitely wasn’t getting it then. At least the man hadn’t winced at the sound of him untranslated. That was probably a good sign for cross-species relations if there ever was one.

“Sorry, the translator didn’t pick that up. I got something about a mix up?”

Well, half points for trying.

Garrus nodded as he tried to pick his words carefully so they would translate right. “Something like that. You know we believe in spirits, right?”

When Shepard nodded, he continued, stomach churning all the while. “Well… sometimes the spirit and the body it’s in have a disagreement about… things I guess.”

Disagreement was putting it mildly, of course. Garrus would’ve rather called it an all-out war in his early teens when the bad feelings were at their peak. Now it was mostly quiet – thank you, modern medicine – but sometimes it still whispered in his thoughts when he least expected it. His spirit was a tricky one like that, no wonder he had lasted so long on Omega.

But… yeah, he was getting away from the awkward conversation he was having. That was probably a bad coping mechanism left over from being a merc.

Shepard still seemed tuned into the conversation at the very least. “Ok… so your mind and body don’t… agree on something? Is that what I’m getting?”

“Pretty much. It’s not super common, but it happens.” His mandibles flapped as he tried to find the words. “There are ways of… making the spirit more comfortable depending on what way you need to go. Medical procedures help, but oftentimes one of the best ways is to just live the way your spirit wants.”

He had been 13 when his spirit had started acting up. That was a common age, though he didn’t exactly hang out with many crossed turians these days…

His shoulders still tensed as he snuck a glance at the human – hadn’t lost him completely. “I guess I’m trying to tell you… that I’m crossed. Not that it’s going to matter for us in bed, the hormone therapy has pretty much taken care of everything. I only have to take a maintenance dose every couple months…”

His voice trailed off. Shepard hadn’t said anything for a long time. Instead, the Spectre seemed to draw into himself. Something about that made Garrus’ stomach drop and almost instantly he regretted saying anything at all.

Maybe he was going to need Solana after all…

His voice was shaky when he spoke again. “Look, I get that it doesn’t- “

“So, you’re like the turian version of trans?”

Garrus blinked. The word was a new one, he had learned it from listening to the crew. Mentally, the translation ran through his head as he sat there, trying to remember what it meant. Something about gender?

What was that again, an ice cream flavor? He was kind of drawing a blank…

“Uh… don’t really get what that is, Shepard. You’re going to have to explain it to me before I can say anything.”

There was a glint in the man’s eye then as he nodded. “Basically, humans have a thing where their brain and body don’t match up. We can also fix it with medical procedures, but the best way is the same way you’ve got.”

The turian found himself nodding. “Guess that would be the human version of being crossed, yeah.”

In that moment, Garrus wasn’t sure what to expect as the pieces fell into place. It was Shepard, but Shepard was still human. More importantly, it was impossible to read how he was reacting then. His face was utterly blank as he sat there, staring down at his hands.

In the words of the Spectre… he should probably go.

Garrus could feel something breaking inside still as he stood. “I get it’s probably not what you expected. It’s ok… I just ask you don’t spread it- “

Those eyes were on him as Shepard reached out to keep him from going. “Damn it, Garrus, same hat.”

…

“Same…”

A wide grin broke out on Shepard’s face as he started laughing. “I think we’re in the same boat here if you’re telling me you’re on the turian version of HRT. Holy shit, talk about one hell of a relief. I thought you were going to say you were allergic to humans or something.”

The translation whirred in Garrus’ visor as he wordlessly sat back down. He had a full picture now, and it was one hell of a sight. The tension that had been vibrating across his carapace began to melt away as he listened to the human laugh, and soon he found himself chuckling as well.

Solana was never going to believe this.

“Nope, still not allergic to humans.” His mandibles twitched. “So… you humans do it too then?”

Shepard was still smiling as he nodded. “Yeah. If not for my biotics fucking everything up, I would’ve been on HRT too by now. But then you wouldn’t get to hear my lovely, squeaky voice cracking over the battlefield and who would want to miss that?”

“I wouldn’t…” Garrus’ voice trailed off. “Oh…”

Well, from the sound of things he hadn’t needed to worry. Maybe he didn’t need his older sister to come beat up his not-yet lover yet after all. His pride would survive for at least one more day at this rate.

Honestly, he felt lighter than he had in weeks. If not for the ship’s gravity, he might have been floating then. Then again, that might have been caused by Shepard’s quiet chuckles over all of this. Something about the man’s laughter always put him at ease.

“I can’t believe you thought I was cis, though.” The human had gone back to playing with the end of his ponytail, though from the motions it was less nerves and more something to do with his hands. “I would be insulted if you were human.”

Garrus felt his mandibles twitch. “It’s not like I know the difference, Shepard.”

“You literally saw my dick fall out of my pants, Garrus.”

…

Yeah, well… he wasn’t the medic, now was he? For all he knew, they were supposed to do that.

Still, at his silence Shepard just chuckled more. Surprisingly, he seemed lighter as well as he sat back. Maybe because of his own nerves, but he hadn’t noticed just how tight the man’s shoulders had been when he had entered. No doubt they had been worrying about similar things if there was that much crossover.

Something, something, communication made for happy relationships.

“Well, clearly we’ve got plenty of research to do if we want to do this right.” The human sounded much happier as he looked down at his always present omni-tool. “I mean… if you still want to and all. I understand if you’ve changed your mind.”

Garrus all but hopped to his feet. “No! I mean… no, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m just glad I know what to research. I think I was looking at the wrong vids…”

“Well, that makes two of us, unless you guys figured out a way to fix anatomical issues we’re still working on. Turian anatomy seems a little more straight-forward when it comes to genitals, what with everything being internal.”

…

You know, he probably should’ve found his anatomy being discussed in such clinical terms rather dry. Yet the fact Shepard seemed so relaxed about the whole thing was rather heartening. Maybe he was just more relaxed now that the bomb had dropped and he still had both of his mandibles.

He was glad for that – the implant surgery to fix him the first time had really sucked.

“I think you’ll be fine with whatever you’re looking at.” He let out a sigh of relief. “So… good talk?”

Even he knew that sounded awkward. Yet, the other man chuckled and nodded as he stood at last, pushing his ponytail behind his shoulders as he approached the turian. Apart from when they were getting shot at, it was probably the closest they had ever been.

“Yeah. Good talk.”

And then he smiled. “So, uh… I need to finish cleaning up from Saren. Unless you want to help with that?”

Garrus was already on his feet, eyeing the door. “I think I have some calibrations to get to down in the battery.”

Shepard’s cheeks briefly puffed out, but then he allowed a rather laid-back chuckle. “Alright, I get the idea. I’ll talk to you later, Garrus. Good luck with the calibrations.”

Luck – he certainly had a lot of that at the moment.

Garrus honestly felt lighter as he left the man’s quarters to return to his spot in the battery. The weight that had pressed down hard on his talons had evaporated, like gravity no longer affected him. It was a bit strange – the ship was set to adjust to that – but right then he wasn’t thinking like a tech as he rode the elevator back down.

All things considered, that had gone better than he had expected.

“Well… doubt Solana is going to believe this one. Who knew humans had it too…” he trailed off as the door opened to the crew floor. He let the matter drop for the moment, focused instead on getting back to work. After all, the Normandy was a big ship, and keeping her running was a heavy task he was more than happy to deal with.

Still… it was good to know they were on even footing. Maybe it wouldn’t go as badly as he thought it might. But he definitely needed to change his vids…

But he could worry about that later. A big gun needed some specialized calibrations if they were going to live another day. He could think about his sex life later.

#ramblinganthropologist's writing #trans!Garrus #my city now mfers #tf4 shakarian is now my canon lol #Alistair Shepard #Garrus Vakarian #they're not gonna fuck until ME3 tho

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scars-of-the-hart · 3 years

Text

Tempest on the Shore: Shakarian angst on the Citadel

Her legs had finally stopped trembling. Shit. Shepard tried to hold onto the last tendrils of the woozy, tingling, mind-wiping high. But it was like trying to hold water in cupped hands, it slipped away through the cracks no matter how tightly she tried to hold it, leaving emptiness behind. And the emptiness was loud. She let out a frustrated sigh and rolled over shifting to the edge of the bed, remembering exactly where she had dropped her pants and tank top. She hadn’t bothered with underwear for this in ages.

“Um...excuse me?” Demanded the salarian in the bed pressing himself up onto his elbows.

Shepard gave him a puzzled frown.

The salarian (he had a name but she’d intentionally failed to commit it to memory) imperiously raised a scaled brow at her. “What the hell was that?”

“What?”

“That noise you made.”

“What noise?”

“You sighed.”

“Oh...um did I?”

The salarian scowled at her. “Yes, you did. Look honey, I don’t know what your problem is but two hours with me will not result in the most quad-rung overstimulated krogan feeling dissatisfied so you better get that little viscous crack looked at.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and cast a disgusted look between her legs. “Because it is the problem. Not. Me.”

Shepard just stared at him. She was tempted to pay him double because she was close to laughing, which was more of a service than anything he’d done in this bed. But the spark went out as quickly as it had come.

She shook her head as she tucked a hand between her legs. Not too wet. Manageable for the walk back to the Normandy. That was the handy thing about salarians. The females created enough moisture of their own that the blokes were pretty dry in the bed. As she pulled her pants on she gave the salarain a hard look. “I appreciate that you take so much pride in your work, but you're worrying your giant head over nothing. You were great. Thanks.” He still looked pissed as hell. She vaguely tried to care, but just couldn’t. “Keep to working with people's bodies, you’ve got no natural ability with their heads.” She pulled her tank on, bound her tangled mane of red hair in a messy bun on top of her head, crossed to the door and waved her omnitool across the payment console. It registered her transfer of credits and the door clicked as it unlocked and hissed open. She gave the salarian a mocking salute as she left.

“See you in two weeks, freak.” He called after her, his voice full of venom.

She tried to ignore it. She wouldn't be back, she lied to herself as she made her way along the wards. The streets were wet from the rain that had been falling before she started her session with the salarian. The layer of moisture almost made this part of the Citadel beautiful. There was something about the extended blur of the neon lights that made them romantic, instead of just... seedy.

A human who passed her made the mistake of eyeing the motion of her breasts under her tank and she gave him a look that told him exactly what kind of retribution that attention merited. He turned instantly pale and hastily turned down a different street. She should care-about the way he had looked, or his reaction or...or anything. She pushed away that thought as she tried to push away every other, shifting her focus to the way walking made her recently stimulated vagina feel. She shifted her stride, trying to stir any lingering feelings of pleasure, to tease out a last rush of dopamine, but it wasn’t working. Between the bitchy salarian, and the oggloing tool...or maybe it was just her. Just the empty, broken, piece of shit she was. She glanced at the time on her omnitool. She had half an hour before the end of their shore leave. Fuck. She could be fast but that wasn’t going to give her enough time for a session with anything if she wanted to avoid judgmental looks from Miranda and the Cerberus goons for coming back late when she was the one who had threatened to depart without any stragglers.

You know what, fuck it. I didn’t ask to come back from the dead.

She pulled up the booking page that had become the top listing for her “frequently used” extranet sites, and started typing in her preferences. Doesn’t matter if I pay for a full session and only use a few minutes. What am I gonna do with credits when the Reapers get here? Try to pay them off? She filled out the request sheet as she walked: either gender, cunnelingus. There literally wasn’t time to fuck around with penetration. Species. The form asked. Shepard grunted impatiently, didn’t really matter, she just needed something waiting for her when she got to the back rooms of Chora’s Den. She selected turian by accident, and then physically collided with one.

Shepard rubbed her forehead where it had collided with the offending turian’s armor as pain lanced through her head. Ok, any lingering effects of the salarian generated dopamine were definitely gone now. She glowered up at the mandabled idiot she had run into, preparing a curt, ufelt apology, and fell silent as she caught sight of the glow of a blue visor.

SHIT

“Commander…” Garrus’ browplates furrowed as he stared at her in surprise. Shepherd’s mind went completely blank as she just stared at him. His crystalline eyes widened in concern and more than a little shock. A steadying hand went to her arm and his rough tipped fingers round her brow, testing gently. “Are you...I’m sorry I should have-”

Shepherd’s gut clenched and she quickly brushed away his hands. “Been watching where the fuck you were going. Yeah. Work on that.” His head cocked ever so slightly at her harsh tone, his eyes narrowing a fraction.

“I’m sorry, Shepard.” His mandibles flared in irritation. “I was endeavoring to make it back to the Normandy as you-”

“-yeah, well if you're that careless while carrying out an order you're not gonna last two minutes against the Collectors.” She snapped. His eyes narrowed further, every calculating thought clear in those eyes. Fucker. Shepard though. Her stomach clenched. She didn’t have time for this. She didn’t have the energy or the...anything, for this. “ I’ll have to put what’s left of your cold ass carapace in a box.”

And then she saw his chin set: slightly raised, head tilted ever so slightly to the right. His pissed off defensive posture. She was too tired and empty and furious and stressed and scared and-

Shepard turned on her heel and started stomping towards the nearest tram station that would lead her to the Citadel docks.

“Yeah,” Garrus called after her, “if you can still afford a box and you haven’t spent every last Cerberus credit at Chora’s.”

Ice shot down her spine. She stopped, turned slowly and stared at the turian. “Excuse me, Vakarian?”

His chin was still set. “I’m sorry, is there something inaccurate in my assessment?” He drawled.

She hadn’t ever been followed...not that she cared if she had, you just didn’t survive the shit she did and remain capable of not checking for tails and hostels and whatever. She didn’t care. She shouldn’t care. Why would she care if he knew? Especially if it was Garrus. Garrus who had gotten his whole crew killed. Garrus who’s medical chart after taking a rocket to the face had shown just what crap the turian had been pouring into his body (well...Moria wasn’t going to point fingers there..unless certain taloned fingers were already pointing at her), but that wasn’t the point why should she care? Except he shouldn’t know.

She gritted her teeth. “I would say there is as I have no idea what you are talking about.”

His eyes were cold as they narrowed. He casually lifted the hand that had, only minutes ago, brushed tenderly against her forehead, and sniffed it. His nostrils flared. “Salarian. Human sweat, yours, by the way, we’ve spared enough for me to recognize it. “

“Oh, fuck you, Vakarian.” She spat. “I probably smell like you, dipshit, after running into you. Who the fuck do you think you are throwing accuzations at your commanding officer?”

“You do smell like me.” Garrus snarled, “but it's different, and there's also a little krogan, asari and batarian-” she opened her mouth to snarl at him but he spoke over her “-not that those are from today, or you, not quite in the same way as the salarian. My guess is those scents are left over from whoever else was in the room before you.”

Rage washed through ther. “If you want to get back on my ship you’ll shut that pincushion of a mouth right now.”

Garrus’ nostrils flared, and she didn't think it had anything to do with him smelling her this time. “You asked me to come aboard!”

“Yeah,” Shepard snarled, “and I remember someone saying that he couldn’t exactly doubt my judgement.”

“That was before you were fucking everything and anything on the wards.”

It was like the world bottomed out around her. Nothing existed but his eyes and those words. She saw fear flash through them for a second, before being replaced by that same rage as before.

“And what the hell makes you think what I fuck is any of your goddamn business?”

There was some hurt in the rage. “Because I’m your friend Shepard.”

“Yeah. Friend. And crew. Neither of which has anything to do with the personal choices I make.”

“Look,” he said, “taking on the Collectors, everything with the Council, coming back from the dead I get that its a lot to deal with-”

Heat rushed through her cheeks. “And I'm dealing with it so back the hell off.”

“You’re being reckless there’s-”

Why was this happening? Why was she having this conversation? Why did it matter- she shoved the thoughts a way and glared at him. “Don’t talk to me about “being reckless” Archangel.”

It was a direct hit. Garrus blinked, a different type of pain in his expression. Shepherd’s gut twisted. It was a low blow. A fucking dirty low blow.

He looked away from her, staring out at the skycars soaring past the walkway, then gave her a long look out of the corner of his eye. “You are reckless in the field. You are tense on the ship. Its behavior I recognize. I was there recently, as you have so kindly reminded me.”

She wanted to say something. But she didn’t. She just held his gaze.

He slowly closed the difference between them, staring down at her. She refused to give ground: she didn’t move her chin an inch, and continued to glare up at him. He tilted his head so that he could meet her gaze and said slowly. “I don’t care who you fuck.” They were inches apart. “I care why you make bad calls when you know there are better ones.” She couldn’t breathe. His long slow breaths tickled her nose. “You asked for my help.” The challenge in his eyes made her blood sing. “So I’m going to call you on your bullshit, Shepard.”

He’d been the one to support her after Eden Prime. Someone who had seen through Saren’s lies on his own. The one she wanted on her side on every mission. The only one who hadn’t questioned her using Cerberus…An feelings the salarian had left in her body were gone, the vague numb bliss replaced with the electric currents those eyes sent racing through her. She was rooted to the spot and ready to rush him all at once. She wanted her hands on him, to tear, to push against that immovable impossible weight and solidness of him. That was what she wanted. She wanted something real, something strong, something constant, something she could unleash herself against without fear. Her lips parted as a breath escaped them, crashing against his like a wave.

But something broke the spell between them and Garrus pulled back. “No one on that ship is in their right mind.” He said quietly. “I have a feeling we’re all going to have to grapple with spirits that haunt us if we want a shot at taking the fight to the Collectors and coming back in one piece.” He gave her a last long slow look. “But I think you need to figure out what the hell you're actually fighting for.” And with that he turned away, walking towards the docs without so much of a backwards glance. His crest cast a long shadow on the ground in the slowly dimming lights of the Citadel promenade, and Shepard felt herself fall into darkness as it slipped away.

#shakarian #garrus #Femshep #angst #romance #interspecies sex

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n7inky-fanfics · 3 years

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Leviathan

"Well, if that's what we have to do let's get started." Shepard says, standing and moving over towards the shuttle with Cortez.

Kaidan hits another husk, killing it, and turns to face Shepard. "Wait a minute here. Are we seriously considering-"

"First, we'll need to restore power to get that cargo door open." Steve says.

"How?" She asks, furrowing her brow.

"I guess we are." Garrus says.

"These old Ballard-class ships are equipped with exterior power sockets. They use 'em for emergency repairs. We can strip the cells from the shuttle and use those for juice. Hang on, and I'll get you started." Steve pulls out a power cell and hands it to Shepard as more Reaper forces drop from the sky.

"Go, we'll fend them off!" Kaidan shouts, opening fire. Together, he and Garrus keep the husks, marauders, and brutes off Shepard long enough for her to get the cargo bay open and hop into the mech.

"Artillery incoming!" She shouts over the comms as she unleashes rockets on the hoard. Within minutes, the monstrosities lay dead on the ground.

She guides the mech over to Cortez so he can inspect it. "All right, Commander. Let's get you out of there and I'll do a systems check."

As Steve moves around the mech with his omnitool, running scans, Kaidan heads towards Shepard. The part of him that is usually so keen to follow regulations and be a good, obedient soldier is thrown out the window by the fear growing in him. This is a crazy risk. "Shepard, I've got to say... I'm not too crazy about this plan."

The hatch opens and she's there, staring back at him. Her gray eyes are fixed on him, filled with determination. Somewhere behind them, he detects a hint of understanding. She knows what he left unsaid, the worry that he feels right now. "We've come too far to stop now. The way home is through Leviathan." she replies in her classic Commander Shepard tone.

"Okay, seals check out. Oxygen pressure is normal. Systems are a go." Cortez says, walking back towards the front of the mech. "It's as ready as I can make it."

"Let's go." she says, setting her jaw and gripping the controller tightly.

Every fiber of his being screams. This is a bad idea. We have no idea what's down there. The mech could fail, she could drown or be crushed under the pressure. If she finds Leviathan, who knows how many ways it could kill or harm her. And if, by some miracle she manages to disable the pulse and get away safely, she'll still need the mech to hold up long enough to return her safely to the surface. Damn it, he's not going to back down so easily this time. He's not going to let her charge off into danger and leave him behind like she did over Alchera. He opens his mouth, prepared to let everything flood out, to say anything to convince her to stay, but all that comes out is "But Shepard..."

"I'll be fine." she interrupts. She looks him directly in the eye. All at once she's his Commander and the love of his life. She's ordering him to stand down, to let her go, while simultaneously reassuring him that she will come back to him safely. He feels his duty to her as a soldier and his love for her as her partner. The battle inside him ends and he reluctantly nods, stepping aside.

"Closing hatch." she announces. She checks the systems and guides the mech to the water. "Commencing dive in 3, 2, 1." The mech hits the water hard, splashing and then sinking into the murky depths.

He listens as Cortez checks the comms. For a moment, everything seems fine and he finds himself relax slightly. Then, he hears Steve's voice rise in pitch. "Commander? Commander, can you hear me? Commander Shepard?"

"What's going on down there?" Garrus asks. Kaidan tries to swallow the lump rising in his throat.

"The comms are out. We can't reach her anymore." Steve replies.

Kaidan doesn't have much time to worry because more Reaper forces drop to the ship. All of his fears are pushed away as he slides into command. "Incoming! Cortez, get the power cores back in the shuttle. Garrus, take up a position near the shuttle and we'll cover him."

Fending off the Reaper forces proves to be a neverending task. Short moments of relief are interrupted by more forces landing. Steve gets the shuttle fixed and mans a pistol from just outside it. In one lull, Kaidan checks the time. She's been down there for over an hour. Kaidan swallows his fear and tells his friends "She'll be here. And when she gets back, we'll be ready to go." They nod in affirmation and load their supplies.

Defending the shuttle from the Reapers is beginning to truly be exhausting when suddenly the mech breaches the surface. His heart soars. The mech stumbles forward and the hatch opens. All hope plummets as soon as he sees her. She's ghostly pale, maybe even gray, and bleeding from her nose and eyes. She falls forward out of the shuttle and hits the ground, right by a pack of brutes. She tries to stand, but hits the ground hard again. Shit, she's defenseless! In that moment, one of the brutes stops, staring blankly for a moment before turning and attacking it's companion. Now's his chance! Kaidan runs over to Hazel and helps her to her feet. Although she's now supporting some of her weight, he's practically dragging her along to the shuttle. "Shepard's back! Cortez, talk to me!"

Steve is already in the pilot's seat, pulling the shuttle back around. "We're good to go! I don't know what the Commander did, but the pulse is offline!" Garrus covers them as Kaidan loads her onto the shuttle. As they take off, he vaguely notes that the brute is still attacking other Reaper forces.

Kaidan helps guide Hazel onto her back on the shuttle floor. Steve shouts about a Reaper incoming. Shit! It's right in their path! He tries to maneuver underneath it, but it opens it's terrible arms and charges it's beam. Before it can fire, it suddenly disables and crashes into the ocean. What the hell did she find down there?

He turns his attention back to Shepard. She's not moving or responding. Damn it, Hazel! "Shepard! Can you hear me?" She doesn't respond. He reads the data from her suit on his omnitool. It's not looking good. "She's freezing!"

She coughs suddenly and violently, jolting upwards. The coughing fit continues to wrack her body as she tries to sit up and brace herself against the seat. He watches her vitals recover some. "You okay?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Hell of a headache." Her voice is raspy and weak. Her pulse is still somewhat erratic, but it looks like she'll be okay.

Fear and concern quickly evolves into anger at the risk she took. "Never do that again." he says firmly, rising to his feet.

She looks up at him, her eyes rimmed with red. She's exhausted and in pain, but she's here and she'll be okay. She came back to him. He relaxes, letting go of his anger and instead bathing in relief for just a moment before he asks "So, what happened down there?"

"We found it. It's real and a lot more than we ever imagined." She rises to her feet.

Cortez turns back in his seat to face her. "So, was it worth almost dying for?"

"I don't know, but we proved it can't hide anymore... that it's a part of this war, just like us. And it's going to help fight."

As they ride back, Shepard calls Dr. Ann Bryson to tell her about what she found. Kaidan knows no one will get the full story out of her until later, but even the broad explanation is amazing. When the dock back on the Normandy, she immediately locks herself in her cabin to write her full and detailed report, brushing off any requests to check in at the med-bay.

Kaidan finds himself waiting outside her door with a cup of coffee. Dr. Chakwas stands next to him, leaning against the wall with her med bag on the floor. Eventually, the door unlocks and they both go in. Hazel sits in her desk chair, still in her armour. The submission confirmation for her report is still displayed on the terminal.

"Hey, guys." She smiles weakly at them. Kaidan sets the mug on her desk and offers her an arm. She takes it and pulls herself up, then slowly peels off her armor. Chakwas guides her to sit on the couch and begins checking her over.

Eventually, she rises and closes her bag. "You're looking alright, Commander. Take this for the pain. Get yourself fed, hydrated, and warm. I'll be taking my leave now. Have a nice night." She smiles and walks to the door, stopping just next to Kaidan. "Keep an eye on her, Major Alenko." She smiles and exits the room.

Kaidan brings the mug with him and sits down next to Shepard. He hands her the coffee, which she sips as she leans against him.

"Nice to have everyone back on dry land, so to speak."

"Mm-hm." She responds.

"You scare the hell out of me with those risky stunts, Shepard, but I guess it's also part of what I love about you." He whispers.

"I'm sorry I scared you. To be honest, I scare myself sometimes, too. I've already pushed so hard, given so much of myself for the mission, for the galaxy. I lost it all once, and sometimes I wonder if some part of me wishes I had just stayed..."

Kaidan pulls back and looks down at her. She looks so small and timid sitting here, curled into herself. It's a rare moment where he might even call her vulnerable. "Stayed dead..?" He asks quietly. She nods meekly. "Hazel, having you back has been a lifeline. I missed you, more than I could ever express."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just... I came back only to throw it all on the line again and again. And in the end, nothing I did even mattered. The Reapers still arrived, and now we're fighting an impossible war."

"And we'll win. We'll win because of everything you've done to make that possible. I believe in us, Shepard. I believe in you."

"You really think so?"

"I know so." He smiles gently and pulls her into his arms. She curls up against him and slowly relaxes. He can feel her falling asleep, so he takes the mug from her and sets it on the table. Carefully, he scoops her up into his arms. She mumbles sleepily about more work, but doesn't protest as he tucks her into bed. He kisses her forehead and turns to leave, but she grips his shirt tightly. She wants him to stay. He takes off his boots and crawls into bed next to her. She shuffles closer to him, resting her head on his chest, and quickly falls asleep.

#fanfic #mass effect #commander shepard #female shepard #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #f!shenko #shenko #shepard #fshenko

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thanksjro · 4 years

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Last Stand of the Wreckers, Issue #2: Overlord is Bad at Communication

Way back in the day, when Kup was still old as hell, there was a bit of a scuffle with Overlord, who was just as awful then as he is now.

Holy shit, that one guy just got turned into a Gusher. Good thing Overlord didn’t get ahold of Kup, because he would have snapped his skinny little ass in half just by looking at him. He’s just a spine in the middle, honestly.

Overlord’s been picking these guys off pretty easily, and while it’s been fun, he’s got appointments to keep up with, so he peaces out. He’s got a meeting with Megatron, him and the other two guys who will end up being the Decepticon Phase Sixers- the real heavy hitters who finish off collapsing planets and bring glory to the Decepticause. Megatron doesn’t say Decepticause, but he might as well.

Because he’s an equal-opportunity bastard, Overlord questions this plan, believing himself to be a bit above the whole “attack dog” shtick. Megatron says that’s fine, and Overlord doesn’t HAVE to be a Phase Sixer. He just better be prepared to be hunted down like an animal for it. This gives Overlord pause.

Over in the present with the Wreckers, the new guys are discussing battle cries, and what the most effective one might be. Pyro’s really leaning into plagiarizing Optimus “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings”, which, as they point out, doesn’t exactly strike fear into the heart of one’s enemy. Pyro here is laying some groundwork for the eventual Lost Light plot bunny that is primus apotheosis, a personality disorder that causes the afflicted to emulate Optimus Prime.

You know, because he’s just the best, and also space Jesus.

Ironfist, of course, doesn’t think that anything they could come up with will ever top the Wrecker staple “Wreck ’n' Rule”. Which brings up Impactor, the guy who coined the term, and who, despite being the long-time leader of the Wreckers, dropped off the face of the earth (so to speak) after a mission on Pova. Ironfist, being the massive nerd that he is, really, REALLY wants to know why.

Over with the more seasoned members, Perceptor’s poking around in Impactor’s head, as he and Springer discuss the last time they met: when Impactor was being sentenced to life in prison, over something Springer testified against him for.

I know Perceptor’s smart and all, but does he actually have a medical degree? Transformers as a whole seems to lump the engineers and the doctors together, and that makes enough sense, considering they’re robots, but I think they might be stretching it a bit with the science sniper here. I’m just saying that maybe the Wreckers wouldn’t have quite have the revolving door of members if they had a medic on the ship, that’s all.

The thing Perceptor’s found in Impactor’s head is a deterrence chip, a souvenir from his time on Garrus-9, meant to go off if he escapes. The fact that he still has a head at all seems to imply that Fortress Maximus was the one with the codes for all that, and he’s currently busy with Overlord.

Which brings up the question: just how the hell did he escape Garrus-9?

Turns out that the tall-chested Decepticon Snare had a little idea after the whole hunting incident- why not use one of the most terrifying and ruthless Autobots in the joint, the one most likely to survive an escape, to go get help?

So, here he is, warning the Wreckers about what they’ll be up against.

Always with the death camps! It’s like a fixation, honestly.

Seeing how dangerous this will be, Ultra Magnus suggests that they perhaps delay the journey to Garrus-9, but Springer’s into danger, I guess, and says they ought to press on. He dismisses Impactor so they can talk shop, and that pisses Impactor right off. Impactor’s still really mad about being sent to jail, but it seems like he’s even more mad about the fact that whatever happened in the past, Springer would have done the same as him. Or, that’s what he thought. Now he’s not so sure.

Then he poses. He likes to pose, Impactor does. Specifically like this:

As Impactor stalks off, Ultra Magnus and Springer discuss the plan: Magnus is going to take a shuttle with Verity to drop her off at home- a plan she’s really not on board with, as stated by the woman herself as she oh-so-rudely eavesdrops- and will leave the Wreckers to do their thing. Ultra Magnus has Prowl-related things to attend to, but he does have a part plot-point for Springer: the name Aequitas.

Timeskip, and we’re just a few hours away from touchdown on Garrus-9. Yay! Everyone’s gathered, and Ultra Magnus breaks the tough news: Overlord’s here. Not yay.

Oh hey, there’s a Robertsism. The guy loves the little snippet “not so”, it’s been peppered throughout all his other writings. Neat that I can catch things like that now.

Of course, Overlord’s being at Garrus-9 puts a bit of a damper on the fun. Verity, our resident newcomer, asks just what the hell an Overlord is, and gets the rundown from Kup.

Turns out after Overlord went to his meeting, he came back to kick more ass, before he decided he was going to use Kup as a messenger.

Looks like Overlord decided to do things the hard way. Not exactly sure how he expects Kup to get that message to Megatron, considering he’s an Autobot.

Kup’s little yarn seems to have had an effect on poor Verity.

Still, terrifying triple-changer or not, the Wreckers have a job to do. There’s two objectives for this mission: first, find and free the Autobot guards. Second, find Aequitas. Most of the guys don’t know what Aequitas is, but rest assured that it cannot remain in the hands of the Decepticon forces for any longer.

Before they can do any of that, however, there’s the issue of getting through the forcefield. They’ll be using an old play, slamming two ships into the field at the same time to break it, then load all the imprisoned Autobots into one of the Garrus-9 shuttles and get the hell out of there. Rotorstorm will be manning both ships, because he’s just that good.

Shut up, Rotorstorm.

Okay, so maybe nothing terribly flashy or clever, but they’re the Wreckers, not the Delicate Maneuverers.

Crunch-time, and we get a series of little vignettes, chock full of foreshadowing and self-loathing.

It’s always the guy who acts like he’s hot shit, isn’t it?

It’s go time. Everyone, save Ultra Magnus and assumably Verity, load into one of the two ping-pong ball-looking ships and get ready to go. As they rocket away from the main ship, Verity drops out of the ceiling vents, because of COURSE she does, decked out in full body armor- those arm covers she was wearing earlier are part of a set.

The ping-pong ships bust through the forcefield without a hitch. Now it’s time for the hard part: everything else.

Ping-pong #1 gets a hole blasted in it, and Perceptor reacts by being fucking cool as hell.

Fuck yeah, Percy. Fuck yeah.

Unfortunately, being rad as hell only gets you so far- just ask Rodimus- and both of the ping-pong ships crash and burn under fire. No one seems to have died YET, but now they’re on the ground with a butt-ton of blood-thirsty Decepticons.

And things are especially bad for Verity, because she’s managed to crash into the throne room, and who should be there other than Lord Nasty himself.

Thus ends issue #2 of Last Stand of the Wreckers.

#transformers #jro #last stand of the wreckers #issue 2 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #story plotting #wreckers trilogy

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superjennysunshine · 4 years

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Day 17: Simping for MonsterGirls and Debbie Simping for Eggs.

Can I just be honest? You’re free to judge me to the fullest extent but like...

Monstergirls are hot dude.

Like look I’m a well known alien fucker (you can thank Garrus Vakarian for that one), but like Monstergirls don’t get enough love.

Lamia’s? hell yeah! Snake women are hot, Medusa is like the most primo ass gorgeous maiden the world has ever not looked at directly.

Slime Girls? Fuck yeah! It would probably be kinda gross tbh but like I could have Seth Rogan from Monsters VS Aliens as a girlfriend?!?!? BAD ASS!

Demons? Yeah sure why not If hell exists I’m definitely going so I might as well find the love of my afterlife there. I always imagined I could get a pretty casual position in hell too like the bible makes it sound bad but I bet it’s not that bad Satan’s probably chill as fuck.

anyway that was weird but I wanted to talk about Monstergirls cause I think they’re hot.

I’m gonna talk about Pokemon now.

I like Pokemon, it makes me happy so I wanna talk about 5 Pokemon that make me particularly happy.

God I love Golurk. Just look at him!!! He looks weirdly huggable yknow? Like if you were traveling as a trainer and you had one of these on your team he’d be like the groot of the party. The big fella that’s weird but sweet and endearing. DEFINITELY my favorite Ghost Type for sure, AND it’s ground and I LOVE ground types. I want one irl so bad.

“In the Galar region, Golurk is often seen standing on building ledges, firing off energy beams at intruders.” Imagine you’re in the Galar Region and you just see a man get fucking sniped by a giant automaton on a roof.

Torterra is just such a LAD. Imagine a little Caterpie just living it’s life and eventually it evolves into a Butterfree and flies away only to find out it was on the back of a massive Torterra it’s whole life, and the Torterra just watches it as it flies away with a big grin like “Good to see you finally friend!” OH MY GOD I LOVE TORTERRA SO MUCH. They’re like Mother Nature Pokemon just supporting lil lives on them.

We all have that one tiny lad Pokemon that just latches onto our hearts and stays there forever. That’s Cyndaquil for me. Cyndaquil is like a campfire and a mouse all wrapped up in one. He makes me feel safe. Like If i was sad it would crawl into my lap and flair it’s little flame vents a little and I would just focus on the glow and the warmth and feel all better again. Goddammit I love Cyndaquil.

Blastoise is like the Homie. Like fuck the shellfish Pokemon hell nah It’s the Homie Pokemon. Look at it. It’s looking back at you. You can almost hear it saying “I got this one Brother! You make sure you eat your Vegetables!” All im saying was If i was at Frat Party Blastoise would sit down with me while I had a panic attack from too much social interaction. he’d be giving me breathing exercises and calling me an uber he is such a bro.

I’m not here to talk to you about Quagsire. Not in general anyway.

The summit of MT Silver. You and Red are locked in the greatest Pokemon duel the world would never see. You try to process your thoughts as freezing rain barrels down onto you like sub zero bullets digging into your skin and gnawing at your soul. All but two of your Pokemon have Fainted. But Red only has one left. You stare at the Blastoise at the other end of the field, it looks at you with a determination you know all too well. A stare that says “I will bring down this mountain before I lose. You order your Espeon to bite it, it does, the damage appears to be minimal, and the Blastoise doesn’t flinch. It retaliates with a horrific wave that topples over the field, drowning your Espeon into unconsciousness.

It’s all up to Debbie.

You throw out a Pokeball and emerging from the pale red light is a simple Quagsire. It stares blankly at the opposing Blastoise and prepares to face the fight of it’s life.

Debbie gets beaten to a pulp, surf after surf pummels her body as you throw out potion after potion just trying to keep her alive, waiting for that one opportunity to strike to turn the tables.

The rain suddenly stops.

You go on the offensive, using a surf of your own, doing medium damage to the Blastoise. It retaliates with the same move but Debbie takes it defiantly. You give a look to her, a look that can only say “Lets do this.” and the look she gives you back, the look you didn’t know you needed until this very moment was,

“I. Like. Eggs.”

She uses surf again, stabbing the Blastoise who sends another back in reply, this goes back and forth, hurling wave after wave at one another in a bloody war of attrition until... The Blastoise falls.

You did it, you won. You beat the elite four twice, stopped Team Rockets nefarious plans, took on 16 Gyms, and beat Red.

All thanks to a Quasire named Debbie, who really liked Eggs.

Thank you Debbie.

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expertmakodriver · 4 years

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30 Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 5

5. Favorite character?

Surprising (hopefully) not a soul: Garry Vakary himself

(Disclaimer: I’m going to be talking about him in the context of the first two games while disregarding the third. Also, while Femshep technically is my favorite character, I already made a post about her, so I’m making this section about Garrus.)

Strap in, folks, because this is going to be a long post.

When I first encountered Garrus, I immediately felt a connection to him since he seemed like one of the few people on the Citadel who actually gave a shit about stopping Saren. Despite being a C-Sec officer bound by red tape, he proved that he was a man of action by leaving all of the bureaucracy behind and getting some real work done with Shepard and the Normandy crew. Since turians and humans had a few remnants of tension between them as a result of the Relay 314 Incident/First Contact War, which was still somewhat recent, it was nice to see another turian, besides Nihlus, act civilly towards a human.

Garrus was so eager to step up and take action against Saren; of course I let him aboard the Normandy. His struggle and Shepard’s struggle with politics are very similar; they both don’t like being told what to do by clueless politicians/higher-ups who try to prevent them from solving problems. This comes into play when Garrus and Shepard begin conversing more and more on the Normandy. I’ve always felt that Garrus’s interactions were a bit more profound than those of any other crew member; they don’t just talk to each other, but exchange opinions and feedback and really try to understand each other. They eventually develop a sort of mentor-protégé relationship to the point where Shepard really has a deep effect on Garrus in terms of his way of viewing the world. I had Shepard lead Garrus down the Renegade path while enforcing a few Paragon ideas (such as being cautious of the thin moral line that any Spectre walks as someone with nearly unlimited power in Citadel space), and I still do to this day.

I’ve always found it funny that Garrus is always super respectful to Shepard despite being a bit of a jerk to pretty much everyone else. Seeing him thank the commander at the end of the game for letting him in on the action and teaching him some valuable lessons was heartwarming, too. It made me kind of sad to think that he would go back to C-Sec after the war with Saren and Soverign was over, especially since he seemed to be so miserable there, but it was nice to know that he would follow Shepard’s lead and train to be a Spectre later on.

Fast forward to Mass Effect 2, and I was so upset when The Illusive Man said that Garrus had disappeared a few months after the Normandy was destroyed. I kept wondering what had happened to him and if he would ever appear in the game again, but when I took a closer look at Archangel’s dossier and noticed the line “omni-tool expert and noted sniper” on it, I became very suspicious despite not wanting to get my hopes up.

Throughout Archangel’s recruitment mission, I kept worrying. Hearing the mercs talk about how Archangel had been cornered and put through hell for the past few days didn’t sit well with me. I think that was the one point at which I hoped that Archangel wasn’t Garrus, because I didn’t want to imagine Garrus going through all of that on his own. When I saw that Archangel had blue armor, I knew for sure it was him. Taking off his helmet and revealing his identity to Shepard made me so happy that I wasn’t at all bothered by how little I was surprised. I wasn’t entirely relieved, though, because Garrus was still in immediate danger. Seeing him so tired and damaged was rough; he was fairly different from the enthusiastic C-Sec officer that I had brought with me on every mission in the previous game. Even though he was exhausted and didn’t exactly have sufficient energy to physically display his emotion, you could tell just how happy he was to see Shepard alive and kicking. “Yeah I shot at you, Shepard. I wanted to get you moving so you could come get my ass out of here.”

When Shepard was forced to leave his side to close the shutters in the base’s lower level, I was in full panic mode. I didn’t trust Jacob or Miranda enough to leave them alone with him. Then when Garrus was nearly killed by the rocket that blew half of his face off, I literally had to pause the game and calm myself down because of how pissed I was. Of course I was distraught at the sight of his motionless body bleeding out on the ground, but I was also upset with the possibility that the game would give me a surprise reunion with my favorite character just to kill him off so quickly. I was, for the second time, overjoyed when I saw that he was alive a few moments later, but hearing him gasping for breath and choking on his own blood with Shepard, who is almost always composed and level-headed, freaking out while trying to help him was heart-wrenching.

Then, right after I see Shepard looking very nervous and upset as Jacob explains the extent of Garrus’s injuries to her back on the Normandy, the smug bastard himself walks out of surgery and just casually waltzes up to Shepard like, “It’s only a flesh wound, I’ve had worse” and I literally thanked BioWare out loud for not killing Garrus. Shepard’s look of absolute relief and joy when she saw that he was okay was very touching, as was the fact that Garrus expresses that he’s more worried about Shepard than himself even though he nearly died a few hours ago. Garrus was so eager to fight alongside Shepard again that he put himself right to work at the Main Battery, and that really demonstrated how much trust he had in Shepard and her motives though I wish there was an option to have Shepard tell Garrus to focus on relaxing and getting some rest. Poor guy just went through hell and already wants to bury himself in calibrations.

While Shepard and Garrus were catching up later on, Shepard was so gentle with Garrus while she asked him about his team and what he had been doing while she was gone, and I could see how broken he was by the death of his team and the betrayal of his former teammate. I felt bad for him. When he asked Shepard to help him find Sidonis a few hours of gameplay later, I knew it was because he wanted the moral support - he wanted Shepard to be there with him while he sought closure with Sidonis (regardless of how he gets it).

Seeing Shepard and Garrus so synchronized while they tracked down Harkin and obtained information about Sidonis was great. They seem more like partners than mentor and student, and that was exactly what the writers were going for.

When it came to allowing or preventing Sidonis’s death, I let Garrus shoot him, and I continue to do so during every playthrough. There are three main reasons for this, the first being that I felt that Shepard shouldn’t be involved in the situation as both a separate party and a non-turian. Turians have their own culture and deal with responsibility and leadership a bit differently than humans do; they pride themselves on taking ownership over their choices and putting the safety and interests of the whole before the individual. Sidonis broke both of these cardinal rules. Garrus, as both a turian and the leader of the group who Sidonis had betrayed, felt obligated to serve justice to Sidonis, another turian, and that is inherently something that Shepard cannot fully understand as a human. It wouldn’t feel right to let Shepard deny Garrus the right to deal with Sidonis in the way that he saw fit.

The second reason is that Sidonis was more than just a coward; he had the opportunity to warn Garrus of the trap set by the mercs for his squad, but he didn’t. Garrus says that he learned through some old contacts that Sidonis “booked transport off of Omega just before the attack” and disappeared. He didn’t even try to make things right with Garrus by confronting him afterwards and apologizing. This is why I’m not bothered by Garrus wanting to kill Sidonis. If I felt that Garrus was being too destructive or going too far, I would have had Shepard steer him back in the right direction. He kept himself in check well enough (like when he didn’t kill Harkin).

And finally, the third reason: If Shepard came back to the Normandy one day and found that everyone - Garrus, Joker, Mordin, Tali, etc - had been slowly and painfully killed by an enemy group because, say, Jacob had been captured and sold Shepard out (and didn’t even try to warn Shepard or stop the attack), you know damn well that most, if not all, players would bring the fury of hell onto him.

Now for the juicy part: Garrus’s romance. When I was innocently exploring Garrus’s dialogue options after his loyalty mission and stumbled across the “We could ease stress together” line, I lost my freaking mind. The game is going to let Shepard sleep with Garrus? Is this for real? I didn’t immediately realize that “easing tension” would turn into “making love and wordlessly declaring mutual feelings for each other”, so I was a little disappointed at first, but I was willing to take what I could get. Garrus was so flustered by Shepard’s proposition, to the point where he seems like he wasn’t expecting her to be interested in him at all, and seeing badass vigilante, merc leader, and hero of Omega turn into a shy softy around her was cute.

Through further dialogue, Garrus began to hint that he had feelings for Shepard, and ugh it was so endearing. He made subtle remarks about wanting more than just “blowing off steam” with her without making his feelings obvious, probably because he didn’t want to chase her away with his heart, and when I combined this with the fact that despite these feelings, which he has had for who knows how long now (maybe even the first game?), he isn’t the one to make the first move, I realized that Garrus was probably too afraid of approaching Shepard with any sort of interest that he had in her because he didn’t want to be rejected and/or feared ruining their relationship. That was the final straw for me: I was super attached to his character at this point. The little dork wanted to watch porn to learn how to properly satisfy a human woman and thought that playing shitty club music was a good idea. The nerd. The doofus. I love him.

I’m just going to admit it: the first time I saw his romance scene with Shepard right before the Omega 4 Relay, I went from laughing as he awkwardly played techno music and tried to woo Shep with his bad flirting skills to tearing up as he confessed to her that he wanted their time together to be special and that he wanted to do things right. Notice how this is different from something he said previously about how if their romantic rendezvous goes south due to species incompatibility, fighting the Collectors would be “a welcome distraction” and wouldn’t be a big deal. Oh, no. It would be a big deal. Garrus wants to give Shepard the best final moment of peace he can before they take on the Collector base, and when Shepard shut him up and they touched foreheads (which I suppose is like the turian equivalent of a kiss given that turians don’t have lips to kiss with) I just lost my mind. I cried and I’m not ashamed to say it. It takes a lot to make me cry, since I’m not easily moved, but seeing Garrus and Shepard so happy in such a tender moment was too much for me. My two favorite characters enjoying peace and joy that they deserve. Beautiful.

The suicide mission - I have all my upgrades, all loyalty missions complete, and I’m still freaking out about who is going to die and who is going to survive. I made the right choices in terms of who I assigned to what, but even with Garrus at Shepard’s side the whole time, I was again in full panic mode. I had like three separate heart attacks thinking that Garrus was about to be killed. I was literally shouting in horror as this happened:

Everything worked out in the end, though. The whole crew survived, the base was destroyed, and Shepard got to snuggle with Garrus in her cabin afterwards. I was very, very happy.

So yeah, Garrus having such a profound character and being not just a likable badass but also Shepard’s most loyal companion is why I love him so much. Evidently, this is also why he’s one of the most, if not the most, popular characters from Mass Effect. Archangel owns all of our asses.

#mass effect #30dayMEchallenge #day5 #tl;dr garrus is best boy #me1 #me2 #femshep #shakarian

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anunquenchableflame · 5 years

Text

Horizon’s Ghost

Setting: ME2, right after Priority: Horizon Characters: Rani Shepard, Garrus Vakarian Content: F!Shepard x Kaidan / SFW / 99% written to get one stupid joke out of my system

Shepard didn’t deal well with failure. Turned out she wasn’t great with disappointment either.

Also on AO3

Horizon had been a nightmare.

Oh, Mordin’s upgrades had protected them from the swarm, just as he’d said they would. They’d taken down everything the Collectors could throw at them and driven them away with their harvest incomplete. But ultimately they’d been too late for most of the colony, and that counted as mission failure in Shepard’s eyes.

Shepard did not deal well with failure.

And then there was seeing Kaidan again… nothing could have prepared her for that. He’d always been in a corner of her mind, ever since she awoke. She’d quietly imagined countless scenes of their reunion: Part of her kept an eye out for him every time they went to the Citadel, hoping happenstance would see them brought together. They’d laugh, they’d kiss, they’d cry, and they'd pick up right where they'd left off, as if it had been nothing but a few weeks apart. It was soppy and ridiculous, and all that was missing was the swelling soundtrack.

None of her idle imaginings had included the sweat, the blood, the stink of eezo, or the look of confusion that had turned to utter wounded betrayal when they finally stood face-to-face. She hadn’t imagined the clipped accusative tone of his voice, the hardness in what had always been such soft warm eyes. She hadn’t imagined how much it would hurt. They couldn’t have left the colony quickly enough after that and she’d refused to meet anyone’s eyes in the shuttle, lest they see how hard she was struggling to build a dam against her welling emotions.

Turned out Shepard didn’t deal particularly well with disappointment either.

She’d been fending off call-me-Kelly ever since they’d returned to the ship. No, she didn’t want to talk about the mission; no, not about seeing Kaidan either; no, definitely not about her attitude to failure; NO. She did not want the interfering naive busybody taking notes and reporting back any more than she already did. What she wanted was to take a hot shower, cry for about an hour, eat dinner, go to bed, and maybe cry some more. Maybe hit something, should a target present itself.

She’d managed step one of that plan. Hot water had washed away the dirt and sweat of the mission and eased her tense muscles, but not her mood. She’d dried off and wrapped up in her dressing gown–warm and soft and totally devoid of Cerberus emblems, courtesy of their last trip to the Citadel–and was squeezing the moisture out of her hair when someone tapped at the door.

“I told you it’s none of your fucking business, Chambers!” Rani snapped.

“Shepard, it’s me.” Garrus’s drawl was unmistakable even through the bulkhead. She paused in towelling her hair for a moment but then went on with renewed intensity, resolutely ignoring him.

A minute later: “Still here, Shepard.”

Rani let out an exasperated sigh. She went to the door and glared at the interface for a moment, then opened it to transfer the glare to the persistent turian on the other side.

“Not now, Vakarian. It’s been a long day.”

“I know. I thought you might want to talk about it.”

“Nothing to talk about,” she said, with a shrug that wasn’t convincing anyone.

Garrus slipped past her and sauntered into the cabin while she made ineffectual protesting noises. He noted the photo frame face down on her desk. Though it was his first time in her cabin it didn’t take any great leap of deductive reasoning to guess whose face had been slammed into the desktop. He picked up the frame, which lit up at the contact, and found exactly the portrait he’d expected on the other side.

“You know,” he began casually. “I went to your memorial. Nice ceremony, if a little pompous. Everyone was very complimentary, especially the people who’d never met you. No-one who had could have said such nice things, not with a straight face.” Shepard couldn’t help but smile a little at that, despite her determination to stay disgruntled. “Anderson was more realistic, said you were a pain in the ass but you knew how to get the job done and we’d all be a little weaker for your loss, though he may have said it more politely than that. He asked Alenko if he’d say something too, but I don’t think he had the words. Not for that crowd anyway. Now, I don’t know much about human mourning rituals but getting extremely drunk seems to be important, so as soon as we found a bar that could serve a dextro beer, I obliged. You know Kaidan starts to glow when he’s drunk a lot? At least I think that part was real, hard to tell in hindsight, there really was a lot of alcohol…” Garrus shook his head. “In any case: we talked, the way men who are very drunk and very sad do.” He carefully placed the frame back on Shepard’s desk with Kaidan’s shy smile pointed right at her, the sniper’s precise shot to the heart as unerring as ever. “He’s angry now, but I don’t think he could hate you even if he tried.”

Rani regarded the portrait for a moment, her eyes downcast, before speaking. “I know.”

“You do?” Garrus’s mandibles did the thing Shepard had always interpreted as turian eyebrow raising. “Damn, I was all prepared to talk you round. I had a speech ready and everything.”

Shepard shrugged. “I suppose I should have expected his reaction. If our roles were reversed it… would not have been so dignified. There’d be yelling and broken things. Probably no colony left at all.” She hugged her arms close to her chest. “I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. I hoped he’d be glad to see me, that he’d understand and everything would go back to how it was but it’s… more complicated than that. And after you and Tali took it all in your stride, I guess I–” She stopped and shook her head, dismayed at the insane unlikelihood of her situation. No-one was equipped for the dead coming back to life, not the bereft nor the departed themselves. Kaidan had called her a ghost, and that didn’t seem far off. It should be a wonder that anyone was coping.

“Oh, there was some processing to be done, believe me,” said Garrus. “But it had to wait until after the siege and the rocket to the face and the lifesaving surgery, after which Commander Shepard being not so dead didn’t seem like such a stretch.” He paused. “Also I’d had a message from Tali right before that all went down, the gist of which was ‘What And How The Fuck’.”

Shepard huffed a half-hearted laugh. “Good question.” She flopped back against the illuminated glass of the fishtank and slid down until she sat on the floor. After a moment Garrus hunched down next to her.

“I guess he told you all about us then?” asked Rani, looking down at her hands as she absently picked at her fingernails. “Our illicit affair.” That sounded dramatic, but it was true enough. They’d both known how much trouble there’d be if they were found out, but that had seemed less and less important as time went on.

“Didn’t really need to, Shepard.” Garrus sounded apologetic, but also slightly amused.

“Oh.” She winced, not sure if she wanted the answer to her next question: “Did everyone know?”

“Not everyone. But I think most of us realised there was a little more going on than you wanted us to see.”

She shook her head ruefully. “We thought we were so discreet.”

“Oh, no, you were pretty good. No-one ever caught him sneaking out of your cabin or anything. But you couldn’t hide some things: The way you looked at each other, or stood a touch closer together than normal, the way he’d help you with your armour, or all those little wordless agreements. Anyone who spent much time with the two of you could tell how close you were. And you forget- I was a detective. May not have found anything solid on Saren but you two were a much easier case to crack.”

“I’m not sure that comforts me… Who knows, maybe there’s a court martial waiting for me if I ever get back to the Alliance. Though I suppose fraternizing with a fellow officer might be quite low on the list of my offenses. Did kind of mutiny and steal a ship even before I was a traitor.”

“You saved a colony from being totally wiped out. You’ve saved a lot of people. As far as I can see you’re doing the same job you always did, how’s that make you a traitor?”

“Oh, maybe because it’s Cerberus paying the bills? They’re the enemy, and here I am working for them. With them,” she quickly corrected herself. She grew quiet again. “Kaidan certainly thought it did.”

“He’ll come around. Right now he doesn’t have all the facts.”

“I’m not sure that I do either. I just wish we’d had more time to talk. Explain, in as much as I can.”

“Think you could have talked him into coming along?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know... Maybe it’s best that he’s not involved. They’d only find a way to use him to manipulate me. Again.” The last word was bitter in her mouth. Clearly her old crew weren’t the only ones to put two and two together. They’d known exactly how to invest her in Horizon. No, the further away Kaidan was the better it was for both of them. Not that all of her was on board with that conclusion. “I just wanted more time to talk. For him it's been years but for me it feels like only a few months. He's worked through it all and gotten over me, while I'm still- I’m still newly in love.” Her voice wavered and tears suddenly welled up, the carefully constructed floodgates of her composure finally bursting open with the admission. She buried her face in her arms. “It's so stupid.” Her shoulders shook and her words were muffled as they were forced out between sobs. “I’m a goddamned marine. N7. The first human Spectre. I won the Star of Terra when I was twenty-two. I’ve come back from the dead, faced geth and collectors and husks and reapers and rogue Spectres and- and I'm sitting here in my dressing gown crying over fucking Kaidan Alenko.”

There was a thoughtful pause.

Turians could not, technically, smirk. They didn't have the mouths for it. You needed lips and different cheek muscles. But there was a way that they tilted their heads and did a thing with their mandibles that was close, and Garrus had a voice that was basically an aural smirk anyway. So when he spoke next Rani assumed that his words were delivered with a smirk.

“Isn't this about… not fucking Kaidan Alenko?”

Her mouth formed an indignant O as she looked up, red eyed, at Garrus and smacked him on the arm. It wasn't hard and he probably couldn’t feel it through the armour and carapace, but it certainly made her feel better. “I am heartbroken and in tears, Vakarian, and you're making shitty jokes!”

“Oh come on, Shepard, I couldn't leave that there. And now you're laughing and crying, that's an improvement, right?” Shepard knew a shit-eating-grin when she saw it no matter the shape of the face it was on.

“I saved your life and this is the treatment I get?” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, a small grudging smile fighting the urge to resume crying. “I can’t believe I let you back on my crew, you’re terrible.”

“True enough.”

“Of all the people I could have had back I had to get the smart-arse turian.”

“Humans tell me that beggars can’t be choosers. Also something about the use of projectiles in glass structures that I’m not sure if I’m remembering correctly.” Garrus looked down at her very seriously. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but you’re kind of a smart-ass yourself.”

“You’re just trying to rile me up so I’m not miserable anymore.”

“Well, I know how to deal with you when you’re angry, I’m… I’m not sure what to do with sad,” he admitted. “I’m not very good at this.”

The fight went out of her in one breath. “Me either.” She wiped her nose again and pressed her lips together as the tears threatened to well up once more. “I miss everyone. Not just Kaidan- Wrex, Tali, Liara–” she paused and sniffed “–Ash. She’d have some things to say right now, I’m sure.”

Garrus chuckled. “Spirits, can you imagine? She’d be even more pissed with you than Kaidan was.”

“No doubt. Maybe if I’d had both of them glaring at me I’d have stayed right there and given Cerberus the finger.”

“I have no idea what that means but it sounds extremely intimate.”

Rani snorted. “I’m really glad you’re here Garrus.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Terrible as you are.”

“Hey, someone’s got to watch your back. And without the rest of the old crew around, I guess it had better be the smart-ass turian. Now, what does giving someone a finger mean?”

“With those talons, I think it’s best you don’t know.”

#mass effect #commander shepard #f!shepard #garrus vakarian #shenko #fan fic #rani shepard #rani x kaidan #fic:rani #this has been lurking in my drive almost finished for like a year #my art is speedy in comparison to my writing #it may be awful #the joke certainly is

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annakie · 4 years

Photo

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Six

Wherein we get out into space and explore a bit, and complete our crew.

And post a lot of gifs, because screenshots were lost.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

So I use the NVidia Control Panel app to take screenshots and videos. Since it’s already running and it takes good shots it seems dumb to not use it.

I ended up being super busy this week and didn’t play much, just got through like, talking to Kaidan after the big speech on the bridge more or less for the entire week, and through Therum. I updated my drivers a day or two ago. And then I didn’t notice that for whatever reason, yesterday when I went to play for a few hours, NVidia decided to record videos just fine, but not take screenshots. I probably actually mashed the button several hundred times.... but all I got were videos.

Most of it wasn’t a great loss, it was a lot of talking to the crew, and a few planetary missions which... so I’m going to have to go back and redo some of it later for screenshots.

But I thought... hey, for posting on tumblr, I’ll just make it a shorter update and make a few gifs and most this a mostly-gif post! That’ll be fun!

...and then I spent several hours making almost 80 gifs, including a lot of what I also had screenshots for but thought making gifs would be more fun.

I mean I was watching the last few eps of the newest season of Great British Bake Off on Netflix, and a few other shows this morning so it wasn’t just gif time... but yeah I made a lot. So I might split this into two posts now because... that’s a lot of gifs. This post will still have a lot of screenshots, too. So here we go!

There are so many things to love about this moment. It’s such a great like, re-launch of the game... Bioware telling us “Okay, now you know the plot, you know all the major players, you know a lot about our world (galaxy) and how it works and who lives here, now, it’s time for you to go out on your own.”

First, it starts with being able to vent a little to Joker, which is a nice touch. Shepard might feel guilty about taking the ship over from Anderson, but Joker also assures us here, a great preview of the way he’s tasked with helping Shepard keep it together in ME3.

I love seeing Shepard’s words affect the crew. The swelling music, the same as the “you’re a Spectre now!!” music just underscores the journey, and what’s to come.

I used to always miss this scene by not picking the right speech option, and would be mad Kaidan was left out of this montage. My fault!

This moment is so beautiful and epic.

...and here we go.

ALOT, btw, makes the galaxy map so pretty. Sharper and clearer and more colorful.

We all usually just head to Liara’s Dig Site first, right? Unless you’re doing one of those “Pick up Liara last just to see what happens” playthroughs? I did that once. It felt weird. And sad, when you tell her “oops I killed your mom and I’m not sorry.” Seems like she shouldn’t have gotten over that so quickly, but well, that’s game design. The entire plot just doesn’t feel the same and more flimsy without Liara around from the start.

I usually do Therum --> Feros --> Noveria --> Virmire.

Well okay, first a stop at Edolus, since, you know, it’s on the way.

What a LOVELY day, nothing could possibly go wrong on this barren world. I feel like they gave us a pretty easy-to-get-around-on world to start out with.

I honestly love driving around in the mako 90% of the time? Once you’re used to the controls, it’s not that hard to get most places you want to go. Though I admit the Nomad in Andromeda is a big upgrade. I kinda miss it in ME2 and ME3, though I only do what driving is necessary in Overlord and skip Firewalker like, half the time.

First, let’s check out the map...

I’m pretty sure I didn’t realize you could mark your destination on the map and it’d put a handy arrow on your radar until I started playing on PC. Before then I was checking the map every 5 seconds making SURE I was going the right way. *facepalm*

Generally my scanning strategy on the planet is... just go to the things on the map, but do go to ALL the things on the map. If I see something along the way, stop and get it. I don’t go way out of my way to look for unmarked stuff. Usually the UNC missions can be completed doing that + complete planet / asteroid scanning.

Oh hey here’s a guy, let’s just grab what we can off him...

UGH. MINIGAMES.

Like I get that the minigame is a stand in for “looking for clues, are you successful in finding anything useful?” or whatever but it’s still just the worst. A minigame is fun occasionally, making it as a gate to something like looting a body is stupid. I guess I have to forgo actually putting points into things that keep Kaidan alive at the early levels so he can help me... loot bodies. Cool. Great.

Since I’m cheating in credits, all weapons and armor get medigelled almost immediately so that I don’t have to do the minigame later on when they get harder, like, ever.

The ME2 minigames at least make a little more sense than this moving puzzler thing. That’s at least an attempt to look like some kind of code hacking or rewiring/reprogramming. This thing is just... silly.

ME2 has a disable minigames mod... so there will be no talk of minigames from here on out. They don’t exist after the easy minigames early on in ME1.

So I ... somehow managed to not get video or screenshots of you know the ICONIC THRESHER MAW attack on Edolus? So please enjoy this gif I made of it back in 2013 instead.

It’s such a great fakeout and moment. Like “Oh man how easy my goal is like right in front of me! That’s great, so easy!” then OH HELL NO, FUCK YOU, GIANT WORM!!

These gifs are from another planet later on, but they’ll do.

My normal MO with Maws is to get out of the way, far enough that they can’t appear too close to or especially under me, but close enough that they do still show up, then stay stationary and jump over the goo while shooting at it.

YOU’RE FACING THE OTHER WAY HOW DID YOU SPIT AT ME?!

This is fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE. We’re just A LITTLE ON FIRE. Our shields are at full...

Oh hell, Kaidan slap some medigel on it, please.

Even though we don’t know who Cerberus is yet, FUCK YOU CERBERUS. I always bring the VS to any Cerberus mission because THEY WERE RIGHT NOT TO JOIN YOU IN CERBERUS. Let’s keep a FUCK YOU CERBERUS count going to remember all the horrible shit we SAW Cerberus do in ME1 to remind ourselves why Ashley or Kaidan is the only SANE ONE for going “No, sorry, I’m not joining you in Cerberus.”

Deep breath

OK, let’s go get Liara.

Wrex comes with us to Therum.

Dear Lord, Therum is gorgeous.

This is real nice just a pleasant day on this thresher maw-less planet and great scenery, we’ll find that asari scientist in no ti--- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Have I mentioned how everything is fine lately?

Well it’s time for how I deal with most of the geth while in the Mako...

Armatures are worth five points each!

Rocket troopers are only two points, but I got a lot of them!

Stopping and fighting in the Mako takes way too long. Push on through all the way til we’re stopped.

Hm, this is the one I should push, right?

*crickets*

Fine.

Just... real pretty.

I love this part of Therum right here. A really great, scary fight that feels so dangerous, but winnable. Great level design, too.

Then this happens.

Does everyone’s hair do that in this cutscene, or just mine, or this hairstyle?

Also, ME3 has a mod now that lets chracters use their correct weapons in cutscenes, my eternal devotion to the modder who could do that in ME1. None of these characters use assault rifles in-game!!

I’m fairly certain I have played and replayed this fight more than any other in ME1. AKA RUN FOR COVER OH SHIT AVOID THE BOMBS AND LASERS FLYING AT YOU AT ONCE PLEASE DON’T DIE COMPANIONS PLEASE KILL SOMETHING I CAN’T DO THIS ON MY OWN AHHHHH!!!

This time around, I died my first time, actually did really well the second time, and decided to go back and record the fight for gifs and... won, barely. The gifs would not be good. Wrex and Kaidan didn’t last long.

Anyway, It’s a great cutscene, but hoo boy I wish it were skippable.

Okay but what were these ruins *for*. Also, real lucky that they had the boss fight way up here instead of down where Liara was.

Speaking of Liara...

Hello Doctor T’soni!

I have a lot of questions like... how long have you been in that bubble? How are you sustaining it that long? How long has it been since you’ve eaten? If I didn’t come get you until after Virmire, would you have been holding that bubble up for the weeks in between then and now?

Ah well, you’re here now, and I suppose I’m going to owe you my life later so... welcome to the team.

You gotta admit that’s one badass entrance, though uh, if the forcefield is still up, where did he come from? Doesn’t matter. Wrex, let’s kill us one of your brethren (sorry.)

I’ll just *assume* that Liara is too tired from holding up her stasis bubble she was in to actually be USEFUL.

I love the chaos of running the fuck out of there.

Texture popping is still an issue even with a decent computer and texture packs, but at least it’s quick now.

Also I really feel the loss of this conference room in the future games. The awkward oval table never quite feels the same. But also, uh, this is a lot of room taken up in this small ship for eight chairs and a holoprojector. You gotta think there’s more uses for this space than just that.

But yeah, I love these check-ins, it’s a chance for everyone to get together and really hash out what’s going on, as well as reinforcing the plot to the players in a more natural way. Having Liara this early will let us understand the Protheans better at an earlier stage, even if it turns out she’s wrong about some stuff (though at the time this was written, she was right for all everyone knew.)

Wrex and Garrus don’t talk much here, probably because you can make it through the game without one of them. I did a “didn’t recruit Garrus” playthrough in ME2 once. They change like one or two lines then Garrus goes back to talking about Old Times. So like you CAN, but you really shouldn’t not recruit Garrus, because Bioware didn’t do a great job changing anything aside from your initial greeting during the Omega Archangel mission.

Not recruiting Wrex, though. Wow that’ll have consequences later on.

OK! So the gang’s all here, and this post is already very long. Next time: Let’s go talk to everyone for awhile, and do a few more sidequests because we can’t go back to the Citadel til our persuasion is high enough to grind Mikhailovich’s arguments into the dust!

#mass effect #liara t'soni #urdnot wrex #kaidan alenko #ashley williams #garrus vakarian #annakie's mass effect stuff

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nerdierholler · 6 years

Note

shakarian: reluctant bed sharing scenario

Thank you so much! This is one of my favorite tropes but I don’t think I’ve ever written one before. Pre-relationship during ME2

A planetside windstorm had turned a quick scouting mission into an overnight stay. Only Garrus had gone with Shepard to investigate the small abandoned prefab they’d picked up on the Normandy’s sensors. It turned out it was nothing more than an old environmental observation outpost, but now it was their shelter until the storm passed and they could get the shuttle back up.

It was sparse inside, a stove, broken chair, and single bed with footlocker at the end. It would be comfortable enough for the night and there had been a few supplies in the shuttle to provide them with more than enough food and water.

They’d passed the evening hours easily enough. It was almost always easy to talk the Garrus. They had their share of tough discussions, but out here, it was swapping stories and bullshitting each other the way soldiers do. It felt good to have that easy banter with someone again. It made Shepard feel less like Commander Shepard and more like a regular person, the weight on her shoulders temporarily lifted.

Shepard yawned, sitting on the bed, she leaned back against the wall, “What do you say, Garrus, time for some shut eye?”

“Yeah, doesn’t sound like this is going to let up anytime soon.” He stood and stretched, his shoulder popping as he lifted his arms above his head. “I’ll take the floor.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind, Shepard. Not like it would be the first time.”

“Garrus…”

“Shepard.”

“Fine, be uncomfortable if you want.”

Garrus flicked his mandibles as Shepard gave him a hard look, both committed to their stubbornness and settled into the floor beside the bed. Shepard tossed one of the blankets down to him and from the bed she could see him shifting and trying to get it adjusted. When she peered over the edge she saw him trying to cover himself with the much too short blanket.

His shoulders and calves stuck out from either end and he tried to stack the small pile of books from the footlocker into a makeshift pillow. He rolled over trying to get comfortable and saw Shepard watching him. She didn’t say anything but he recognized the I-told-you-so look on her face.

“This is downright homey.” He pulled the blanket up, bringing the bottom up to his knees. “Add a throw rug and some flowers and it would be perfect.”

Shepard looked unconvinced but said nothing, her head disappearing back over the edge of the mattress.

About an hour later, Shepard woke to the sound of Garrus moving around. When she opened her eyes she found him sitting up against the wall, trying to lean against the headboard for support.

“Sorry, Shepard, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Books not as comfortable as you hoped?”

“Just a little change in position is all.”

“The offer still stands. I can make room.”

“I can practically sleep standing if I have to. This is more than alright.”

“You’re stubborn, Vakarian, you know that.”

“It’s come up on occasion.”

This close Shepard could feel the low rumbling chuckle from his chest vibrating through the mattress as she started to drift back to sleep.

After that Shepard’s sleep was restless. Each time Garrus tried to reposition himself or slumped forward on to the mattress, it jostled her awake.

“Enough,” she said finally.

“What?” Garrus bolted awake, “What’s wrong?”

“You. I can’t take it anymore, just get in the damn bed.”

“Shepard…” he started.

“Garrus Vakarian,” she cut him off, “get up here so I can get some sleep.”

The expression on Garrus’ face was probably the closest turians could come to smirking. “Is that an order Commander?”

“No.” she said sullenly, “Just a request from your very tired friend and commanding officer.”

Garrus stood, rolling his shoulders and neck after being in one position for too long, “If you insist.”

“I insist,” she said flatly.

“Alright, uh, how do you want to do this?”

“There’s only one way we’re both fitting in this bed.” Shepard got out of bed, bringing the blanket with her, “After you.”

Garrus stretched across the mattress, his back pressed against the wall and watched as Shepard laid one of the blankets on top of him, covering his feet that hung over the edge of the human sized bed. She put the other blanket on top, covering his shoulders with a sizable amount overlapping in the middle.

“Good?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Garrus cleared his throat, “It’s just been a long time since someone tucked me in before I went to sleep.”

"Don’t get used to it.” She tried to look serious but it quickly turned into a playful smile.

Garrus lifted the edge of the blankets, giving Shepard room to crawl beneath them. She sat down, then swung her legs up and laid down next to him. She backed herself away from the edge of the bed and against Garrus’ chest. Satisfied that she was settled, he dropped his arm, wrapping them both in the blanket, and leaving it resting against her waist.

“Do you mind?” he asked, his voice coming out as a hoarse whisper.

“No,” Shepard tried to sound confident but her heart was suddenly racing and she hoped Garrus couldn’t feel it.

This close, she had a new appreciation for just how much larger Garrus was compared to her. His form easily curled around hers, almost completely enveloping her. It made her feel safe, a rare thing considering everything that had happened since she woke up. She hadn’t felt this way since…, well, it had been a while to say the least. She was much closer to Garrus now than she had been when they were chasing Saren. He’d joined up without hesitation, even before the rocket to his face that left him without a choice in the matter. He was there when she needed someone most and now she was starting to wonder if there might be, could be, something more between them.

She shifted her arm and placed it across the much larger one draped over her body, “Good night, Garrus.”

She wasn’t sure, but even through her armor, she thought she could feel him squeeze her just a little bit tighter.

“Good night, Shepard.”

#apoloniaa #shakarian #Garrus Vakarian #femshep #Mass Effect #nerdy writes #life at nerdy holler

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mosaiccreme · 6 years

Link

Summary: After sharing a few drinks in her cabin, Shepard works up the courage to tell Garrus she's into him.

For squiggly_squid, because pfffttt, who says turians can't kiss?

The Whole Kissing Thing

Shepard leaned against Garrus' weapon's bench, crossing her arms over her chest and smirked. She'd been down there with him for a half-hour, mostly just making idle conversation out of boredom while he fought to calibrate the Normandy's weapons just so. She snorted, pushing away from the table when he growled at the system for the third time. "Alright, Vakarian. Step away from the console."

He glanced over his shoulder at her, flicking his mandibles. "I've almost got it, I swear."

She chuckled, closing the few feet between them and shook her head. "Nope. Come on, it's time for you to take a break before you end up emptying your heat sink into the battery out of frustration."

He chuffed but smiled. "That would be a terrible waste of perfectly good ammo."

"And it'd hurt my ship," she said with a snort. Reaching up, she locked her fingers around the yoke of his armor and tugged. "Come up stairs and have a drink with me. Learn how to relax a little."

His brow ridge twitched, mandibles fluttering softly. "Hmmm. Do you actually have something up there I can drink?"

She grinned, giving his yoke another tug, doing nothing to move his weight. "I do. I always keep something dextro on hand, never know when I'll have to play nice with a turian or quarian dignitary. Turian brandy work for you?"

He took a step forward, humming. "You mean to tell me the entire time we were on the old Normandy, you were holding out on me?"

She let go of his amor with a smirk and turned. "Yep." She started walking, smiling to herself at the sound of his footsteps behind her.

Garrus poured himself another drink before leaning back against the couch, lifting one foot up to rest on the opposite knee. He chuckled, mandibles flaring. "It was good having Wrex around, though. Of course, I'd never tell him that, but he isn't so bad."

"Yeah … I miss the grumpy old man." Shepard lifted her glass to her lips, taking a swallow. "The others, too." She tilted her head, smiling at Garrus. "Although … having you here makes an otherwise unbearable situation somehow not so bad. I can't tell you how happy I felt when you took your helmet off back on Omega." Chuckling, she took another drink. "You don't know how close you came to being tackled with hugs and kisses."

He laughed, mandibles fluttering. "I'm pretty sure I could've handled the hugging thing, but I would've been lost with the kissing."

She huffed a laugh. "Yeah, I don't suppose turians are really into the whole kissing thing, are they?"

He hummed. "I've never been kissed, so I can't really say." He flicked his mandibles, smirking at her. "But no, turians don't really kiss. You might've noticed, we don't really have those thick, fleshy lips humans do."

Chuckling, she turned a little, propping an elbow on the back of the couch and pushed her fingers into her hair, resting her head on her palm. "You don't need to have lips like ours to kiss. I mean, I'm sure it makes it easier, but you still could if you wanted to."

He flicked his mandibles, tilting his head back to take a drink. "I'll keep it in mind, you know, if anyone ever, hmmm, offers."

Shepard scraped her teeth over her lip. Admittedly, she carried a torch for Garrus since the old Normandy, but he was also her best friend—and a turian with probably no romantic interest in her whatsoever. He'd watched her six since the day they met, gave her more support than anyone else. Stood by her side when … others … accused her of being a traitor and pushed her aside. She never wanted to do anything to jeopardize what they had, so she kept her feelings to herself. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but it suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea to give it a shot. She leaned over, putting her glass down on the table before meeting his gaze again. She hesitated, losing her nerve when he fluttered his mandibles, confusion filling his eyes.

"Are you done drinking already? Lightweight. I was just starting to relax." He chuffed, but smiled, leaning forward to set his glass down as he started to push himself to the edge of the couch. "I guess I'll go finish those calibrations."

She reached out, putting her hand on his knee to keep him from standing. He froze a second before glancing down at her hand, so she pulled it away, tucking it into her own lap. Mandibles fluttering lightly, he met her gaze again, curiosity flashing over his eyes, restoring her courage. She glanced down at the empty seat separating them and moved a little closer, glancing up again. He watched her in silence, mandibles and brow plates twitching.

"I'm offering." She pinched the corner of her lip between her teeth and lifted an eyebrow in question.

He let out a short, surprised laugh before it shifted into a deep, resonate hum. "And here I thought the only women who'd find me attractive now would be krogan."

She chuckled, lifting a hand to his scarred, bandaged mandible, jumping off the deep end as she gently trailed her fingers over the curve before meeting his gaze. "I like you, Garrus. I always have, and I find you very attractive." She brought her hand back to her lap when he flared his undamaged mandible and lifted a brow plate. "And I don't think there are enough rockets around to change my mind."

He tilted his head a little, the iris on his visor contracting. "You're serious?"

She pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear and smiled. "Yeah … so … now you know my big secret," she said with a chuckle, feeling a blush spread over her cheeks.

"I—I had no idea," he said, giving his head a slow shake.

She snorted. "I'm really good at keeping secrets."

"Hmmm." He brought his hand up, hesitating a moment before brushing the back of a talon along her jawline, mimicking her gesture. "So … how does this kissing thing work?"

Grinning, she moved a little closer and grabbed the yoke of his armor, tugging him down a little. She pressed her lips to his mouth plates, bringing her other hand up to slide around behind his head. He hummed, and she brushed her tongue over the curve of his flat lips, coaxing them apart. Her tongue swept over his, savoring the sweet taste of turian brandy left behind before retreating a little, pleased when he took up the motion, following after. She made another pass, meeting his tongue again before pulling back.

She glanced up at him, licking her lips, smiling. "So, what do you think?"

He hummed, gaze fixed on her mouth. "I'm not sure, I might need you to show me again," he said, the flanging of his voice heavy and raspy.

Chuckling, she pressed her lips to his mouth in a quick peck. "Yeah?"

"Definitely. Maybe even a few more times, just to be sure." He leaned in closer, nudging her mouth with his.

She smiled and kissed him, his mouth opening easily to hers. Pushing herself up a little, she tucked her leg beneath her and urged him back against the couch, kneeling on the cushion next to him. He brought a hand up, pressing his palm gently against her jaw and neck, urging her on. God, why did she wait so long to kiss him? He felt so … right. Her heart pounded against her ribs, heat flooding her with each caress of his tongue against hers.

She let out a light, approving groan deep in her throat when his hand settled on her hip, kneading gently before moving down her thigh. Hooking his hand behind her knee, he lifted her leg, pulling her over to straddle his lap. Inwardly cursing his heavy armor being in her way, she shifted, situating herself around his breastplate the best she could. It didn't seem to matter what position she took, though, the sharp, center edge of his armor dug into her and kept her from getting the angle she wanted.

Letting out a frustrated growl, she pulled back and put a hand against his chest. "Take your armor off?"

He hummed, mandibles fluttering. "Is this … are we …." He chuffed, letting out a soft chuckle and shaking his head. "Hmmm. What exactly are we doing here, Shepard?"

She traced the curve of his mandible again, trailing her fingers over his mouth plates. "We are … two really good friends exploring the possibility of something more. And if we decide more isn't for us … then we don't let it get in the way of our friendship. Deal?"

He smiled, and she swore she saw relief in his eyes. "Deal."

"Good … now take your damn armor off," she said, tugging at his yoke, "it's uncomfortable and in my way."

He chuckled. "Yes, Commander."

She stood next to her bed, looking up into his crystal blue eyes. Her hands trembled, hell, her whole body trembled, with an exhilarating mix of nerves and desire. He seemed pretty nervous, too, but she hoped some of it was arousal, otherwise … she was about to be really disappointed.

He brushed hair out of her face, his bare hands warm and rough against her skin. "I'm not really sure … how this is supposed to work between a turian and a human."

"Neither am I, but I think we can figure it out." She smiled, but then a thought occurred to her, and her smile faltered. "Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No, I haven't." Garrus' mandibles drooped a little. "Why, have you?"

"Not even a little." She grinned, pushing up on her toes to kiss him.

"This isn't too fast for you?" He rested his forehead against hers, breath a little ragged.

"Not for me. You?" She stroked the hide beneath his crest.

He shuddered at her touch, letting out a soft purr. "No, I want this. Shepard, there's no one in this galaxy I respect more than you, no one I'd rather be right here with right now. I've just, hmmm, I've had so many things go wrong …."

"Garrus, you mean the world to me. No matter what happens here—or doesn't—it's not going to change that fact." She caressed the back of his head again. "If that much is true for you, too, then there isn't anyway this can go wrong."

"You're kind of amazing, you know?" He cupped her face, tilting her head back to kiss her.

She brought her hands down, working her fingertips beneath the hem of the stretchy, fitted shirt he wore beneath his armor. His tongue delved into her mouth, hands moving down to pull at her waist, tugging her closer. She splayed her hands out against the plates and hide of his back, amazed the sheer level of his warmth, reveling in the feel of defined muscles shifting beneath his hide. When he broke the kiss, she tugged at his shirt, and he pulled it up over his head, letting it drop to the floor.

She let her gaze roam over his chest, lifting her hand to trace the lines of his keel and cowl. He hummed, sliding his fingers under her shirt, easing it up, talons scraping ever so gently over her ribs and making her breath catch in her throat. She raised her arms, letting him pull her shirt off before bringing her hands back to his chest. He dropped the shirt and ran his hands over her shoulders, tracing the lines of her clavicles.

She trailed her hands down to his waist, lingering there when he let out a throaty purr. Tightening her grip, she glanced up, watching his mandibles flutter. "Here?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Spirits, yes." He flicked a mandible and then added, "Pretty much anywhere my plates don't cover." Chuffing, he smiled down at her. "I could use a few pointers, too, if you don't mind."

She grinned, reaching behind her to unsnap her bra. Taking his hands in hers, she brought them up to press against her breasts, squeezing her hands around his. "Here." She pulled his hands back enough to close his thumb and finger around her nipple, sucking in a ragged breath. "Here." She moved his hands down to her hips. "Here." Moving his hands to her ass, she squeezed again. "And here. To start."

Tugging at his waist, she rolled her hips, pulling him in deeper. She moaned, head pushing back into the pillows. She didn't know what she'd expected, bringing a turian into her bed, but Garrus felt so much better than anything she anticipated. He kept most of his weight off of her, having realized relatively quick the sharp edge of his keel dug in painfully between her breasts, against her sternum. It was her only regret, at least in their current position, she couldn't feel his warmth pressed against her chest.

Reaching out for him, she caressed his mandible, and he opened his eyes, meeting her gaze with a smile. He hummed, hips working their magic as he rocked in and out of her. Then, as if reading her mind, he worked a hand under her back, lifting her from the mattress as he rolled off of her, dragging her along with him. She chuckled, pushing up to her knees as he situated himself in a reclined position.

"Come here," he said, voice low and throaty, heavily flanged as he wrapped his hands around her hips.

Straddling him, she lowered herself down, using her hand to guide him back inside of her. She savored the way his mandibles flared, mouth opening in a silent gasp as a deep, resonate hum escaped his throat. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his cowl, resting her chest against his, soaking in his heat as she brought her mouth to his. Tongue meeting hers, he let out a low growl when she began rocking her hips. He brought a hand up, fingers threading through her hair as he cradled the back of her head, deepening the kiss. He'd taken to the concept like a pro, tongue dancing over hers before retreating. Breaking the kiss a moment later, he ducked his head, trailing his tongue down over her jaw and throat, pulling a moan and shiver from her.

He hummed in that way of his, the same sound he made when he'd discovered some intriguing new piece of tech or a mod to improve sighting speed for his sniper rifle. She smiled, knowing the hum meant he'd explore the new avenue of her arousal to the fullest. Tilting her head back, she exposed her throat to him, moving her hand to the back of his head, kneading the softer hide just under his crest. He licked her again, bringing his other hand to her breast, trapping her nipple between his thumb and finger. She moved a little faster, pushing herself down on him a little harder, feeling her insides tighten as she started to build toward another ograsm. He nipped at her skin with his mouth plates, and she moaned, urging him on.

"Yes," she whispered when she felt him open his mouth, pointed teeth pressing gently against the skin at the curve of her neck and shoulder, as if he were testing her response.

He bit down, a little harder than she anticipated, but the sensation felt glorious, throwing her over the edge. She bucked her hips, rhythm becoming jerky and uneven as the dam broke inside of her, a strained, half-yell-half-moan catching in her spasming throat. Moving his hand from her head, he wrapped his arm around her waist, taking over as he bodily lifted her up and down, thrusting into her. Removing his teeth from her skin, he ran his tongue over the bitemark. Her hands clutched at him, fingernails digging into his hide, and his grip tightened on her. He let out a low growl, pressing his forehead against her shoulder as he buried himself inside of her one last time, holding her there as he found his own release.

Sucking in deep gasps of air, she felt her heart slamming against her ribs as she brought her mouth back to his, tasting the faint trace of blood on his tongue. He hummed, splaying his palm out over her back as he rubbed along her spine. She brought a hand to his face, tracing the curve of his undamaged mandible, savoring the feel of his mouth against hers until her need for air forced her away.

He rested his forehead against hers, taking in rapid, shallow breaths. "I'm definitely into the whole kissing thing."

#shakarian #turianscantokiss #smut

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ramblinganthropologist · 3 years

Text

MER Week 5 - We are Family

Summary: Visiting family can be tough sometimes, especially when your job involves being the only fucking hope for humanity. Alistair’s never sure what to tell his sister when he sees her, but at least he’s got Bo to remind him he’s an idiot when he gets back. Don’t you just love family?

(ME 2 setting)

---

“So… uh… how are things going?”

Ah, the question he had been dreading for the last hour had finally shown itself. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Worst of all, his exit was cut off. No way out but through it…

Fuck.

Normally, Alistair Shepard didn’t mind going to see his sister Anora. After all, they had a lot of catching up to do what with 11 years of separation and all between them. However, they usually had his niece as a buffer. Kelly was great for that sort of thing, especially if she wanted to hear parent-approved stories. Unfortunately, her father had custody that weekend. So, it was just the two of them, sitting on the couch and making awkward small talk.

Did he mention it was awkward? Because it was so fucking awkward. Fuck, maybe he should’ve taken a preventative anxiety dose…

The Spectre took a tentative sip of his tea just to have something to do – gross. His sister liked this variety of tea bag that he just couldn’t stand, but she was trying. That was enough to make a good try of things as she watched him over her own cup. What she was thinking, he had no clue.

It was hard to read his sister. Maybe it was because he was so used to military types?

“I mean… it’s going?” He put the cup down. “We were on Illium before we got back to the Citadel.”

Yeah, he had been hunting down an assassin and a justiciar to add to his crew in order to survive killing a shit ton of Collectors. Thane was great – he lived in Life Support so he didn’t die before the Collectors killed them. He hadn’t even mentioned Samara and her centuries of baggage, that was the best part. Reflecting on that, he knew it wasn’t exactly something you told your older sister over really shitty tea. So, he kept mum on the details.

Most of his stories wound up like that. Was that bad?

“Illium… well, at least you’d be easy to spot among the asari with your hair and all.” Anora took a cautious sip. “Did you… need armor for that one?”

Need armor – that was their codeword they’d come up when he hadn’t been sure what to call what he did. Anora had a weak stomach, and he didn’t exactly want to drag up the gory details of his job. Though, was it technically a job at that point? They had literally brought him back from the dead for it – that was nearly a calling. More than that, he wasn’t really getting paid. Cerberus was in a weird gray area…

Either way, it was a useful code.

“Yeah. It got heated at points, but nobody died.” Well… nobody on his side anyway. There were plenty of dead mercs thanks to both his crew and his own two hands. This was something else he wouldn’t tell Anora, mostly to keep her mind at ease. Apparently, hearing your younger brother was really good at killing people tended to put people off.

Civilians, couldn’t live with them… kind of turned into a war crime if you accidentally shot them.

“Oh… that’s good. I know it…” she paused, frowning. “I know you’ve had it rough lately. I saw you on the news with your friend Garrus and it looked like half of his face was missing.”

Alistair took another sip of his nasty tea to give him time to think of how to best phrase his possible boyfriend taking a rocket to the fucking face after a goddamn siege. It wasn’t exactly polite dinner conversation as he made the mental edits.

“Yeah… kind of. The implants are healing, though. At least the mandible is still attached and all.”

Judging by the look his sister gave, that probably wasn’t the right answer.

“Omega is not a fun place.” Was his only justification as he took another sip. “I definitely don’t recommend the Terminus system for Kelly’s spring break.”

Another wince – he was just knocking it out of the park with today’s visit. Maybe he should just close his stupid mouth and drink his tea before he gave her a coronary…

Anora at least didn’t drop her cup. Concern was written all over her face though as she rolled it between her palms. There were probably a thousand thoughts running through her mind, and he just had to wait on the final decision. Lucky for him, he was good at waiting.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” A judicious answer. She sipped from her mug, face unreadable. “So… where are you going next?”

To hell in a fucking hand basket, or a least close enough when they managed to get through Omega-4. However, it wasn’t exactly something you shared over tea, especially with your older sister.

When he glanced away, Anora sighed. “Right… top secret Spectre business, then?”

“Something like that.” He frowned. What little good feeling between them was starting to wear down. Soon there would be nothing left but awkward questions and long pauses full of questions neither of them could answer. No doubt it would be time for him to go soon.

Lucky for him, his omni-tool started to beep. Someone was trying to communicate with him. Without thinking, he hit the button and his sister’s living room was soon filled with the sound of the Normandy’s cockpit. If he strained, he could hear EDI softly beeping in the background.

“Commander, you there? Sorry to break up the family visit, but we’re getting a message from Admiral Hackett. I think you’re going to want to hear this.”

Alistair could already feel his forehead throbbing at the thought. “I swear, he just bothered us…”

“Yeah, tried to mute him but you know how he does that thing to get it through anyway.” Joker was priming the Normandy for takeoff in the background. “You should probably get back to the Normandy in case we need to head out.”

Sweet relief.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty. Knowing the admiral, we’re going to be in the ass end of nowhere, so start checking the relays.” He paused, sighing. “Thanks, Joker. See you soon.”

The call ended not long after. He finished his tea in one long swallow. Anora was watching him, impossible to read. She had long since abandoned her tea – it was growing cool on the table. Talk about a bad sign.

“Admiral Hackett contacts you directly?”

Alistair sighed a ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m kind of his go-to for confidential stuff he doesn’t want to do. Call it first human Spectre privilege I guess.”

Anora didn’t exactly look impressed. “I’m guessing armor is going to be needed then.”

“Probably.” He sighed again. “I should go. They can’t exactly leave the Citadel without a CO on deck, can they?”

His cup clinked softly as he placed it back down on the table and stood. Anora stood as well and walked him to the front door. There they hovered, neither really saying anything, eyes not really meeting.

It always ended like that. It was why he preferred Kelly there to help soften things between them.

Her hand reached out – maybe to squeeze his shoulder – but it didn’t make contact. Instead, it fell back to her side, limp. It was hard to read the emotion in her face then, but then again it always was. When it came down to it, Anora was a bit of a brick wall he wound up hitting his head against.

“Well… be safe. I’ll see you when you’re back on the Citadel?”

He nodded, already planning his route back to the ship. “Yeah. Thanks for the tea. Tell Kelly I said hi.”

She nodded, and that was it. No hug goodbye, nothing more than an awkward wave as he walked down the path. Then the door shut, and it was back to work. Maybe he felt bad about the relief that he felt as he turned to leave, like a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. The more he walked, the easier it was to forget.

He had to anyway – he had work to do.

“Wonder what the fuck Hackett wants this time…” Alistair grumbled to himself as he aimed for the port that would get him back to the docking bay he had left earlier that day. By the time he got there, the Normandy would be ready to leave. Within the hour, he’d be shooting towards the relay. Then – who knew. With Hackett, anything was possible.

“Seriously? He wants something AGAIN? Didn’t we risk our collective asses for him last week?”

Probably because he’d be lost in his thoughts, but Alistair realized he was standing in shadow. He glanced up, unsurprised to find red eyes and a bored expression. Without much thought, he shifted his pace. He needed to – otherwise he couldn’t keep up.

Bo had a bag of snacks in her arms that jingled as she walked. From the looks of things, Joker had paged her during a grocery run. Hopefully she had managed to get the citric acid he had asked for – he was starting to run low, and without it he’d just be eating sugar. That was a line even he wouldn’t cross.

It wasn’t a big line, but every man needed one.

“Yeah, I have no idea what. Joker couldn’t tell me; I was still with Anora.”

His adopted sister winced. “So, which one would you rather have faced: her or first contact?”

“I’d say I’d rather see a turian’s face pointing a gun at me.” He winced at his own bluntness. “Sorry… have to watch my tongue around her. You know she worries.”

Bo rolled her eyes at this as she handed him a smaller bag to carry. From the looks of things, there was a massive container of citric acid inside, buried next to a candy bar he was definitely going to destroy within a few hours of achieving FTL flight. It was nice to have someone who thought of him.

“You’re a fucking N7 level marine, I think she can figure out you’re winding up in some pretty fucked up shit.”

That was another wince on his part. “Yeah, but… I don’t exactly have to tell her how I stood in the line of sight for Garrus’ rifle, now do I?”

His answer got him quite the shove forward – it was a miracle he didn’t hit the ground face first as Bo continued on ahead, bag still jingling. “I’m pretty sure she knows you’re a dumbass with a martyr complex, don’t worry.”

Ah, someone was still sore about that. Well, excuse him for using his head…

Still, attempted face plant aside, Alistair had to admit he felt a lot more at ease as he and Bo continued their walk back towards the Normandy and their continuing fight against Admiral Hackett’s to-do list. Maybe he should have felt bad about that, but he had enough actual bad things to worry about. Something like this, he’d be happy to let slide for the moment. It could get him later, when he was in bed and couldn’t sleep.

“Gee, thanks. Love you too.”

Bo flipped him the bird as he caught up to her. “Can’t help I have a dumbass for a commanding officer brother, now can I?”

“He didn’t shoot…”

“You still got in the fucking way of a sniper rifle, you moron. The ghost of Alec Ryder is going to chew your ass out when you go to bed tonight, and I’m pretty sure that bastard’s still alive.”

The last thing he wanted was Alec Ryder, corporal or otherwise, near his ass. No thanks. That was enough to give him a lifetime of nightmares…

His adopted sister nudged him again as they got closer. “Next time just… don’t be a fucking hero. I don’t even know why I’m saying it, I know you will, and it’ll piss me off and then we start all over again.”

Despite the lecture, he chuckled. “I’ll do my best.”

“No, you won’t. You’re a fucking boy scout and it’s the worst.”

At least they had at last reached the Normandy. The yellow still needed painting over, but it was a sight for sore eyes nonetheless. Alistair was happy to hop aboard as decontamination hissed around him. It was humming to life beneath his feet, almost as if it was welcoming him back.

He loved this part.

“Commander Shepard and Commander Shepard have returned. Agent Miranda stands relieved.”

EDI’s robotic voice echoed as they stepped out of decontamination. Off to the side, Joker swiveled around in his chair to greet them. His grin only got wider as he spotted the bag hanging from Bo’s arm, almost reminding Alistair of a kid in a candy store.

“Did you get it?”

Bo snorted as he pulled out a smaller bag and handed it over. “You’re worse than Saren when it comes to snacks.”

“Hey, leave my hamster out of it. Saren is a gentleman.” Alistair still chuckled as he looked out at the Citadel dock from the Normandy’s front window. Soon, it would all be the blackness of space rushing out to meet them.

“Well, can’t be too bad if I’m getting compared to that.” Joker swiveled back around, already starting the procedure for takeoff. “Hackett’s message is ready when you are, Commander.”

Right… ugh. Just thinking about it gave Alistair a headache as he watched Bo head off to distribute her snacks. Still, it was a headache he could tolerate as he felt his mind shifting back to mission mode. At least here, he was in his element.

“Go ahead and play it. Might as well find out what ass end of nowhere we’re heading to…”

And just like that, it was business as usual. Admiral Hackett needed help, and the Normandy was the only ship he could get to do it. Soon, Alistair would be back in armor and ready to face whatever hell awaited them.

In a weird way, it was good to be home. But how fucked up is it that home was a fucking bootleg Alliance frigate hotwired by Cerberus?

#merweek2021 #Alistair Shepard #Bo Peep Shepard #ft his older sister Anora #If you get the joke with their names I have zero regrets

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veorlian · 4 years

Text

Idolatry - Of Angels and Saints

Chapter 2/?

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian/Female Shepard

Dossier: Archangel

Updates 1-3 times a week on ao3

Softness. Familiar scars, unfamiliar lightness. The weight lifted from her shoulders. Safe, protected, warm. Gone.

The cold, clinical lights of Project Lazarus lanced through her eyes, the heavily sanitized air burning sharp in her lungs. Living, it turned out, was a difficult habit to shake. Cerberus had built her back from the ground up, painstakingly gluing her together piece by broken piece. For all intents and purposes, she was the same Shepard she’d always been.

Almost the same.

The scars on her hands were gone, to begin with. They said it was to make it easier for her to hold a gun, and to make her hands less stiff. It took her weeks to relearn how to wield her sniper rifle, to correct for the change. It only took her a few minutes to relearn how to pull a trigger.

The shields she'd built around herself were in disrepair. She covered that vulnerability, as she always had, with a dense layer of humour. Miranda and Jacob didn't know her well enough to know the difference, but perhaps no one knew her well enough.

At Miranda’s suggestion, they travelled to Omega first in order to pick up the professor, Mordin Solus. Shepard liked the salarian, and she deeply respected his decision to run a clinic in a plague zone. She wasn’t much of a healer herself, so she had a great admiration for anyone who was. Plus, she had a fondness for patter songs that she would never admit aloud.

One of the other dossiers was also on Omega, someone named Archangel. According to Aria T’Loak, he was enough of a threat that the three major gangs on Omega were working together in order to take him out.

“He’s either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid,” Miranda commented.

“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive,” Shepard replied.

“Well, aren’t you sweet,” said the mercenary recruiter, leering. “You’re in the wrong place, honey. Strippers’ quarters are that way.”

If Shepard had a penny for every time some asshole harassed her heavily armed and armoured body she’d have enough money to retire, preferably some place with a beach. She was at the end of her rope, and she was tired of being polite.

“Show me yours, tough guy. I bet mine’s bigger,” she said, unholstering her pistol and holding it up where he could see it. It was a threat, certainly, but a casual one. The recruiter didn’t seem to pick up on it. A few minutes later, Shepard had enlisted with the Blue Suns, and was turning to leave when she was nearly run over by an over-eager young man carrying the shittiest gun she'd ever seen.

"How old are you, kid?" she asked.

"Old enough," he replied, his voice confrontational. "I know how to fight. Besides, I just spent 50 credits on this pistol and I want to get my money's worth." Shepard recognized the look; she'd seen it often enough in the Reds. 500 credits could look pretty good when you were sleeping on the street. Maybe he wanted to prove that he was more than just another starving orphan on the streets, another charity case. Maybe he had family to look after. Either way, he was going to get himself killed. In one fluid motion, the gun was out of his hands and in Shepard's.

"Hey, that's mine!" he sputtered. Shepard ignored him, examining the firearm. There was a 50/50 chance it would explode in his hands the first time he tried to fire it. Maybe 60/40.

"Do yourself a favour and go get a refund," she said. She knocked the side of the gun and there was an eruption of sparks. She handed it back and saw that here was fear in his eyes, now. Good. Fear kept you alive. "Go home, kid."

The welder was in the back of that technician before she even knew what was happening. Killing him gave them a better chance of success, and so she acted without thinking. Acted, and brutally killed a man in cold blood. She was still reeling from it when she jumped down into Archangel’s base. She shook herself and pushed it down to address later. Or never. Probably never.

...

Garrus had been holed up in that sniper’s nest for days, and his chances of getting out in anything other than a body bag were looking slim. But damn, if he was going out, he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. He was going to drag as many mercs as he could down with him, kicking and screaming.

He had settled into a dangerous kind of monotony, his world reduced to the end of his scope. The monotony meant that he almost didn’t register the quick flash of auburn hair before it faded out of view. But he was looking for it, now, and so he saw Shepard appear on the other side of the room, shooting a merc point-blank in the back, and sending a blast of incendiary power into the face of another.

Shepard was alive. Shepard was here. His odds of survival were looking up.

It was disconcerting how easy it was to fall into banter with a dead woman. The last time he’d talked about Shepard had been her eulogy, and damn if that wasn’t a depressing thought.

“Now correct me if I’m wrong, Vakarian, but this sure as hell doesn’t look like going back to C-Sec,” she said dryly, once the initial introductions had passed.

“I got tired of all the bureaucratic crap on the Citadel, I figured here I could do some good,” he replied, aiming for nonchalance and mostly making it.

“I’m so glad to hear that you really took to heart all our talks about working within the law, then, Garrus. How did you even end up trapped up here?” she asked. He shrugged.

“It's a long story. Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal; you get me out of here alive, and I’ll tell you the whole damn thing.”

“Of course,” she said, as if it were that simple. As if he’d asked her to pick up something from the store, rather than to fight her way through dozens of mercenaries. She glanced out the window for a moment before turning back to him.

“So, Archangel huh?” she asked. He could’ve sworn he saw the corners of her lips twitch up slightly, but it may well have been a trick of the light.

“Oh, it’s just a name the locals gave me, for all my, um, good deeds. I don’t mind it, but please it’s, uh, it’s just Garrus to you,” he said, ducking his head. She snorted.

“No big deal,” she said, in a passable impersonation of his voice. “I’m a vigilante hero, idolized by the downtrodden people of Omega. But don’t mention it.”

“You left big shoes to fill, Shepard,” he said quietly. The words were out before he could stop them. He heard her breath hitch. She closed her eyes for a moment, and for the first time Garrus noticed the deep shadows underneath them, the new wrinkles on her forehead. When had she slept last? Was she eating enough? Had she always been so pale? For a moment she looked...fragile.

As soon as the moment came, it was gone. Shepard opened her eyes and met his gaze, face unreadable, and he suddenly realized that he’d been staring. He glanced away quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. Shepard unhooked her sniper rifle and moved to take cover by the window.

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting,” she said, sighting down the length of her barrel. Garrus readily grabbed hold of the topic change, all too eager to avoid the now chilly silence between them.

“Of course,” he said, “we wouldn’t want to be impolite to the people trying to shoot us.”

“Just like old times,” she said, neatly picking off the mercenaries one by one.

“Just like old times,” he agreed, hitting a thug square between the eyes. “My aim is still better, for one.”

“I seem to recall you nailing me a few times back there.”

“Concussive rounds only, no harm done. Didn’t want the mercs getting suspicious,” he replied innocently.

“Uh huh.”

The two people with Shepard mostly ignored them, focusing on the fight. Garrus made a note of their Cerberus uniform, and filed that away to ask about later. When he wasn’t in immediate danger of being murdered, perhaps.

Once all the enemies had been mowed down, Shepard and the woman with her left to deal with the situation in the basement, leaving the man behind to protect Garrus. He heard Shepard whisper something to them, but he couldn’t quite make out the words.

...

Garrus took a rocket to the side of the face, and Shepard felt the air leave her lungs. She didn’t register the trip that took them back to the Normandy. She found herself in her cabin, covered in blood, eyes glazed and unfocused. Mechanically, hands numb, she cleaned herself up and wandered down to the debrief room.

Another person hurt on her watch. Another friend she couldn't save.

And then Garrus walked in, mostly in one piece.

“Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?” he asked, like it was nothing. Like she hadn’t felt the life leaving his body as he bled out in front of her. Bastard.

“Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap a coat of face-paint on there and no one will even notice,” she replied, face carefully blank. He chuckled and then winced.

“Oh don’t make me laugh damn it, my face is barely holding together as it is,” he said, and then: “You know, some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan.”

“Got a thing for krogans, Garrus? I’ll have to let Wrex know,” she laughed, the sound unfamiliar to her ears, uncomfortable on her tongue.

“Try it, and I’ll launch you into space myself,” said Garrus fervently, and she laughed again. He considered her for a moment, and what she could see of his face grew serious.

“Frankly I’m more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?”

And so there it was. Commander Shepard, paragon of humanity. Commander Shepard, who did the job right or not at all. Commander Joan Shepard, who refused to let fear compromise her, was working for Cerberus. She’d lectured Garrus before — repeatedly, and at great length — that the ends never justified the means. What a hypocrite she was.

“Trust me, anything you’re about to say I’ve already said to myself,” she replied, bracing for the worst.

“Hey now, I trust you, Shepard. If you say we need to work with Cerberus, then we’ll work with Cerberus,” he said. Oh. Oh. Not the response she was expecting. Tears burned at the back of her eyes.

“And I trust you. Now march your ass back down to the med bay until Dr. Chakwas says you’re ready,” she said, crossing her arms. It was easier, always, to settle back into banter. She could handle banter. She couldn't handle the look in Garrus' eyes, his absolute faith in her. It was too much, suddenly.

“She said I was clear to leave," Garrus said defensively. If he noticed her discomfort, he didn't say anything.

“Bullshit. She once made me stay down there for three days with a broken nose. Twenty credits says you snuck out of there while her back was turned.”

“Me? Sneak out? You wound me, Shepard.” But he was struggling not to laugh, holding onto the side of his face.

“So if I buzz the good doctor over the comms she’ll confirm that you’re fully recovered?” Shepard reached for her earpiece as if to call Chakwas. Garrus quickly moved forward, talons closing around her arm.

“It would be a shame to bother her. She’s a very busy woman, you know.”

“Uh huh. Go get some rest, Vakarian. That’s an order.”

"Damn it, Shepard."

"That's 'damn it, Shepard, sir,' to you."

He grumbled something indistinct. Shepard looked down pointedly at where he was still holding onto her arm and he let go with exaggerated reluctance.

"I'm telling you Shepard, you're throwing me to the wolves here."

"Garrus, she's pushing 60."

"Wolves, Shepard."

"I wouldn't have pegged you as a coward, Archangel."

"Hmm. Touché."

"Hop to it, soldier."

#mass effect #me2 #me3 #shakarian #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #i forgot to post on here whoops #my bad folks #my writing

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shepgarrus · 7 years

Text

so i ended up talking more on skype about the shakarian soulmate au i talked about in the tags on this post:

#okay but shakarian au where this is a thing #and you get some kind of mark/bruise for any injury #and they can tell from the injury frequency and type that the other's a soldier too #and then the worry when they discover a serious-looking wound/mark and hoping the other is okay and gets through it #and watching their recovery through the mark/bruise healing #and garrus and shep not finding out until garrus takes the rocket to the face :)))))))))) #GARRUS ASSUMED HIS LACK OF MARKS WAS BECAUSE EITHER HIS SOULMATE RETIRED FROM THE MILITARY OR DIED #BUT HE DOESN'T REALLY REGISTER THE LACK UNTIL OVER A YEAR AFTER SHEPARD DIED #also shep being able to follow the healing of garrus's face via her own marks even when he won't say anything about it

Friend: I love the soulmates au thing Me: shepard having a helmet on when they go to get archangel Friend: ...would garrus have the cybernetic scarring Me: gGGGGGGgGGGSGSGGSGW Me: I'D ONLY BEEN THINKING IF THE MARK FROM HIS INJURY WOULD AFFECT THE CYBERNETICS Friend: Or just scarring without glowy things Me: ..........i want yes Me: or like. cracks in his plating Me: depending on timeline if his squad is still alive they notice before he does (because he never looks in a mirror) and he's very confused and when he sees he makes something up about something happening when he was on a patrol Me: but he can't think of anything that could have caused them so guess his soulmate's alive after all? and must have been in an accident or something Me: and later as his heat sinks are dwindling as he defends the bridge he thinks about the shock his soulmate will get if/when he gets taken out by a bullet to the head

Friend: AAA Me: and garrus takes off his helmet and i would think shep would take hers off too but we'll say it's semi-opaque so he can still see her but the scars are hidden Me: so it stays on Me: and shep doesn't really notice the cracks/hasn't been alive/looked at herself long or well enough to connect it to the pattern of her scars Me: and her helmet stays on when they're evac'ing him to the normandy after the rocket Me: and maybe she finally takes it off once she's in the medbay with just chakwas and unconscious garrus Friend: Chakwas just goes :0 and simply stares Me: and chakwas points it out Me: well she's very focused on getting to work on saving garrus Friend: Oh I thought like after garrus was saved fshhdhsa Me: but she mentions it as she's working aka trying to shoo shep out Me: and say there's a mirror in there and shep looks and the whole side of her face and neck are fucked up (i was just imagining bruises instead of like. you suddenly start bleeding externally lmao) and she's like 'wtf' Me: and she's dehydrated and in a bit of a daze and hasn't slept so she just numbly puts her helmet on so that no one will see Me: and goes up to her cabin to shower etc Me: and after/during the shower she can see the marks changing as chakwas proceeds through the surgery Me: fixing parts, making cuts, adding cybernetics Me: the surface/pattern on her skin literally changes right as she watches it in the mirror Me: (hope that's not like.........body horror-y) Friend: Yeah lmao it would be kinda weird if someone suddenly started bleeding Me: the original post mentioned little cuts but.........in this universe we're talking gunshot wounds lmao Me: things could just appear as scabbed-over marks/wounds immediately Friend: Shdhss Me: or the skin could just. change color or bruise or w/e Me: so she watches that for a while but she's barely staying awake so she goes to sleep after checking with edi/chakwas that garrus is still gonna be in surgery for a while Me: actually maybe we'll say this shep managed to disable edi in her cabin Me: so when she gets up and sees that she still has the marks from garrus's injury she doesn't know if it means he's alive or not Me: maybe the soulmate thing isn't like. confirmed? Me: like it's a strong myth based on the idea from the original post but science hasn't confirmed it Me: so people wouldn't know like. if your marks disappeared when your soulmate died or if you kept the marks because they were still on your soulmate's body Me: or if the marks would fade in time after their death (maybe in time with body decomposition/destruction/cremation/whatever they do in the future) or if the mark of what killed your soulmate stays on your body forever Friend: Oooooo Me: so yeah we could have her message chakwas or her getting/having a message from jacob for the comm room thing Me: maybe part of what chakwas said the day before was that they could look at fixing the bruises/whatever on shepard's face that next day once garrus was dealt with so for now shepard covers them with makeup that was already in her room/bathroom when she came (matched to her of course) Me: because holy hell it's weird af and not something she wants other people seeing Friend: Sjhdhsa Me: and maybe when she gets down to the medbay chakwas isn't there (because she's sleeping) and there's just a cerberus nurse monitoring/talking to garrus who's awake Me: about caring for the wound or whatever Me: and after that's done they both leave the medbay together and shep doesn't want to put off talking about the marks so she takes garrus up to her cabin Me: because no bugs Me: and tells garrus to sit/chill while she goes into the bathroom and gets the makeup off Me: and garrus probably hasn't even thought of/made the connection between his cracks and shepard's glowing scars Me: he might not have looked at himself much at all since finding out about them and probably forgot Me: so shepard comes out of the bathroom and garrus sees her face/neck and is like umMMMMMMMM Me: and shepard's like 'this appeared yesterday after the mission' Me: and i want garrus to stand up and go over to her and move the neck of her shirt aside to see that the marks continue down to her shoulder/collarbone like his does Me: BUT IDK IF THAT'S THE RIGHT THING[TM] Friend: BLESS Me: i guess i can say garrus is tired too lmao Me: it'd be a lot easier to figure shit like this out IF I'D FUCKING PLAY ME1 LMAO Me: so shep stays still while garrus does that Me: and that's when she notices the cracks on garrus's face Me: and she got a bit more familiar with her own the night before when watched her reflection for so long Friend: Aaaaa Friend: Yeet yes Me: but she reaches up to touch one of her own scars with her fingers just to be sure Me: and garrus notices and he's like. buffering on something to say when shep says 'your face is cracked' Me: and then garrus laughs because that's a joke/insult for turians Me: maybe shep knows or maybe she doesn't Friend: Sdfghjl Me: either way that breaks the weird tension that had been building and shepard laughs too and runs her fingers through her hair and she and garrus take a step back/go back to normal personal space levels (which is still closer than normal people l m a o) Me: and shep's like 'guess it's not a myth after all' Me: because soldiers can probably write off a lot of weird bruising lmao Me: and maybe turians have more knowledge of the marks than humans/actually believe in it Me: so garrus is a little ?? at that comment but then they clarify that Me: and then talk about how garrus is glad she's back/she's glad garrus is there Me: PLOT SETUP IS EASY CHARACTERS ARE HARD Me: omg they talk about some of the injuries/marks they've seen from each other Me: like 'wtf was THAT one' or 'my mom saw that one and i got in trouble' Friend: Sdfhk Me: I REACH THE TIME FOR CUTE STUFF BUT THEN................CAN'T COME UP WITH THE CUTE STUFF Me: idk if i want them to kiss now or later Me: like maybe at first they figure they're platonic soulmates and are basically like 'fuck yeah best friends' Me: but then slowly/later on realize 'oh shit do i want more' Me: maybe they both just go with/cling to platonic soulmates or whatever because of what garrus says when explaining turian views on soulmates, that it's not always romantic Me: sorry boy you went fucking crazy with grief when she died that ain't platonic Friend: Sdfhkl Me: GARRUS KNOWING FOR SURE IT'S SHEP BECAUSE OF THE MARKS

#rambly worldbuilding for a #shakarian au #shakarian #unfortunately no smooching because i suck #but maybe i'll add to this later who knows #also maybe blood wounds appear as scabbing over the other person's skin and if they peal/scratch it off their own skin is clear underneath #as an alternative IDK I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT WHILE REREADING TO CHECK FOR TYPOS #my ideas #text

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firebendermaedhros-blog · 7 years

Note

I see your Star Wars/Mass Effect and I raise you: Avengers/Mass Effect

I SPENT AN UNREASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME WRITING THIS PLEASE LOVE ME (I’ll probably expand on this in the future but here take this)

Collateral: Part One (Vantage Point)

F: Avengers/Mass EffectCH: Jane Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, Clint BartonSH: Shepard/Garrus, with some patented Hawkeye flirting

“Hey, Shepard.” Garrus clicked his mandibles nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, wincing as he brushed past the bandage on his face. “I know we’re about to leave Omega space, and I want to get out of here as much as you do, but I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything.” Shepard said immediately. She was still wrapping her mind around the fact that Garrus was here - she could touch him, see him, talk to him. She had her best friend back. He was a vigilante on Omega, of course, and they’d had no less than three near-death experiences in the last 24 hours, but hell, call it a welcome home party. In any case, he was asking her for help and not staring at her like a monster back from the dead, so she took what she got.

“There’s someone back on Omega I need to go back for.” Garrus glanced around, like he was nervous to ask for anything. “I know you’ve got your own plans for building a crew, but this guy, he’s… he’s something special.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You went to bring someone on?” She asked.

“If it’s not too much trouble, yeah.” He laughed shortly. “He’s your type.”

“I have a type?”

He laughed again, a real one this time, and Shepard smiled. She’d missed this. “Oh, yeah.” He said. “A stray with a tragic backstory and unsavory tendencies? That has you written all over it.”

“Really? And what are your unsavory tendencies, Mr. Vakarian?”

“Well, I don’t know if you heard about that Archangel guy or not…” They shared a good laugh before he became serious again. “Can you at least hear me out?”

Shepard hesitated. She knew that the Illusive Man had his own specific ideas about the crew, as much as he swore up and down that it was still under her command. She didn’t know what repercussions bringing an outsider onto the ship would bring. If it was anyone else, she’d say no, chalk the risk up as too much. But this was Garrus. He’d mourned her for two years, taken a rocket to the face, and still came out swinging just because she asked him to. If she could do him a favor, she could live with the Illusive Man’s pointed comments. “Go ahead.” She said, and Garrus visibly relaxed.

“His name is Hawkeye.” He started, drumming his talons on his arm. “Human male, a little taller than you. Not a big fan of helmets, like someone else I know.”

Shepard smirked at the jab, then crossed her arms. “Hawkeye, huh? What’s his deal?” She asked.

“You know how I was a vigilante? He’s… well, no.” He rubbed his neck again and started to pace. “We’ve been working next to each other while I was on Omega. He was another killer for hire, the best on the station. He’s never missed a shot, in his entire career, and I’ve tested that. But over the past couple of years - he’s a good kid, I know it.”

“Uh huh.” Shepard was starting to feel uneasy just from watching Garrus pace. I’d do the same thing if I was staring a corpse in the face. She thought and bit her tongue. “How do you know him again?”

Garrus laughed flatly. “Well, uh. I had a bit of an unpleasant start on Omega, so a few people put out a hit on me. And Hawkeye’s the best, so you can imagine who they all went to.”

Shepard froze, her mind screeching to a halt. “Hold on.” She held up her hand. “You know this guy through him repeatedly trying to murder you?”

Garrus hesitated, freezing in place. “Well… yeah. It’s not as bad as you-”

“No.” Shepard lifted her finger. “Uh-uh. No. Nope. Not happening. No.”

“Shepard!”

“No.” She gritted her teeth, ticking off her fingers. “He’s some kind of super assassin who’s apparently never missed, he’s been trying to murder you for two years, we just fought through three gangs all trying to kill you through any means necessary, and you think bringing him onto my ship will help you play nice? He could kill you in your sleep!”

“I can live with that risk-.” Garrus started to say.

“Well I can’t!”

Garrus looked visibly shocked at the outburst, then calmed his expression again. “Shepard.” His voice was cold and calm. “You asked if I had any conditions, this is my condition. Hawkeye is the only person in the galaxy I could ever trust as much as you. He’s tried to kill me, but he’s always been honest about it, and he’s saved my life more than he’s tried to take it. I don’t trust a Cerberus crew, even one that you run. I trust you, and I trust him.”

Shepard stared at him for a second. “You still trust me?” She finally asked. She’d meant to ask anything else, but it slipped out anyway. “After all this time?”

He sighed and shook his head. “Shepard, I’ll always trust you.” He said softly. “Just because I trust Hawkeye doesn’t mean I don’t trust you.” He stepped into her space, close enough that he loomed over her. “You’re my best friend. No one could ever take your place.”

Shepard glanced over his face for another second and didn’t see any traces of dishonesty. Her chest tightened, and she finally cleared her throat and looked away. “You know where to find him?” She asked.

“… Yeah.” She couldn’t figure out the emotion in his voice. “I’ll go mark it on the map.”

“I’ll do you one better. Suit up, let’s go grab him before we head out.” She cleared her throat again and headed towards the armory.

“Shepard?” Garrus called, and she paused. “Thanks.”

She smiled at that. “Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do you a few favors?”

“He usually holes up in warehouses with roof access, the taller the better. Abandoned and secluded. He isn’t what you’d call a people person.”

“I can understand that.” Shepard looked out the window of the cab and watched the buildings of Omega pass by. The station made her skin crawl. “He needs a good perch to watch.”

“He cycles between about a dozen of them. The pattern seems random, but he probably has a sequence in his head.” Garrus chuckled. “He acts like he’s an idiot, but he’s a damn genius. Are all you humans like that?”

“Just the best of us.” Shepard spared a smile. “You sure he’ll be here?”

“If he’s not, he will be soon. He’s had eyes on us from the second we set foot on the station.” He grinned. “He’ll know it’s me.”

“How? I thought no one had seen your face.”

“Oh, they haven’t. But he’ll know.” He drummed his talons on the wheel. “He’ll know.”

“Wait.” Shepard turned to look at him. “Do you even know what he looks like?”

A long moment of silence stretched between them. “… If I say no, will you hit me?”

Shepard’s head thunked back against the seat. “Oh my god, we’re going to die.” She groaned.

“Hey!” He elbowed her. “In our line of work, if someone knows your face, you’re doing it wrong. It’s a compliment!”

“We’re gonna die. Again. I just got un-dead and you’re gonna re-dead me.”

Garrus set the cab down outside of an old warehouse. He got out and stretched out, slowly looking around. “Come on.” He said after a minute, heading to a side door. “It’s rude to keep people waiting.”

“Really? That’s a new one.” Shepard drew her pistol and let it hang loosely at her side. “I was under the impression you liked to keep people dying from anticipation.”

He chuckled again, low enough in his chest that it rumbled. “You know what they say about popping the heat sink too early.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you mean to make that dirty?”

“I’ll let you decide.” He shot her a smirk. “I don’t suppose it’ll do any good to tell you that you won’t need your gun.”

“Nope.”

“Right, thought so.” He looked around the warehouse thoughtfully. It looked like no one had even thought about this place for years, let alone held a base there.

“You sure this is the right place?” Shepard asked, kicking up some of the dust.

“Oh, I’m sure.” Garrus tilted his head slightly. “Seeing how he’s been listening for the past minute, he should be making his dramatic appearance any second now.”

“Oh, now that’s just not fair.” A new voice whined from the rafters. Shepard’s head snapped up to look, and a shadow dropped down behind some cargo bins. Her fingers instinctively tightened around her pistol, and Garrus shot her a dirty look. She huffed and relaxed her grip, but refused to holster it.

“Archangel.” The voice called again. Footsteps echoed on the stairs as the man slowly thudded down into view. “Word on the street is you finally got what was coming to you. Pissing off every good citizen of Omega and all that, most people seem to think that you’re enjoying an early retirement.” The drawl to the man’s words was colonial, with another twinge Shepard couldn’t recognize. His boots thudded to the floor, but he kept himself in the shadows out of sight. “That, or you’d run off with a ghost.”

“Hawkeye.” Garrus crossed his arms and cocked a hip. “You do know I can see you, right?”

“Right, right, I forget you Turian fucks can see everything.” The man stepped out of the shadows and into clear view. He was average height, slightly bulky, with a quiver slung over his shoulder. Shepard’s first thought was that there was nothing remarkable about him, and her second thought was that was exactly the point. “How does that work, anyway? Like cat eyes? You see everything in night vision or ultraviolet or whatever?”

“I don’t know what a cat is.”

“What a sad life you lead.” The man cocked his head a little and smirked. “You took a rocket to the face and all you got was that little scar? You’re harder to kill than a damn cockroach.”

“What can I say? Someone has to keep you on your toes.”

Hawkeye laughed shortly, then shifted his vision over to Shepard and scanned her quickly. “This your ghost?” He asked.

Garrus nodded and stepped aside. “This is Commander Jane Shepard.”

“Commander Shepard?” Hawkeye’s eyebrows shot up. “Hell, they weren’t kidding about the ghost part.” He glanced back over at Garrus. “I’m glad to see you’ve got something set up, but what’s this about? You finally coming over to meet my folks? I knew we had something special.”

Garrus scoffed a little bit. “Wait until I buy you dinner to introduce me, I’ve got an offer for you. A job to end all jobs, if you will.”

“Aw, really? Here I thought you weren’t like all the other boys.”

“I’m putting together a crew.” Shepard interrupted, drawing the attention back to her. Hawkeye’s eyes snapped over to her and she felt a chill at the intensity. “Human colonies have been disappearing in the Terminus systems. They’re being kidnapped by the Collectors.”

“Collectors?” Hawkeye frowned. “You’re not telling me the whole story.”

“You’re familiar with my work two years ago?” Hawkeye nodded silently. “The Collectors are working for the Reapers. I intend to save all the people I can and take the fight to them, hit em where it hurts. I was told by a certain trusted associate that I could trust you.”

“Really?” Hawkeye crossed his arms and looked over at Garrus. “I assume you had something to do with that.”

“I may have put in a good word.” Garrus leaned against the wall and smirked at the human man. “It’s a good cause. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think it was, or if I didn’t think we need your help.”

Hawkeye nodded and looked between them. “Taking the fight to the Collectors, huh?” He said. “That means going through the hell relay. You do know that’s never been done before, right?”

“I’m aware.” Shepard said flatly.

“Right. Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. So, that makes this a suicide mission. You also know that this is absolutely a suicide mission, right?”

“Right.”

“Alright. Cool.” He uncrossed his arms and started pacing slowly. “Why do you need me? You’ve already got a sniper.”

“I’ve been told you’ve never missed a shot.” Shepard said, and Hawkeye grinned.

“Yes ma'am. I don’t miss.” He seemed to be preening with pride for the first time since they’d started talking.

“And you have a pretty impressive resume as far as infiltration goes.” Shepard crossed her arms. “I can always use more recon on my team, this one here is about as subtle as a bag of hammers.”

“So you need someone sneaky who can shoot things.” Hawkeye lifted his chin at her. Shepard had never met someone who could make a motion with their chin seem sarcastic, but here he was. “Tell me why you need me.”

Shepard chuckled a bit. He really was making her work for it. “To tell you the truth, I need you because I just got someone very important to me back, and he asked me for a favor.” Shepard said, and she felt Garrus’ eyes on the back of her head. “It’s been two years since I saw him, and he told me that he’d come with me, on one condition. He wants someone else he can trust on my crew. So here we are.”

“Someone he can trust, huh?” Hawkeye looked over and Garrus. “You trust me? I’m touched, Archangel. Really, you’ve got me tearing up over here.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.” Garrus said without taking his eyes off of Shepard. “So, are you in?”

“Impossible odds, plenty of people to shoot, the opportunity to do some marriage counseling? Sounds like a hell of a time.” He crossed his arms and paced towards Shepard slowly. “But I want to know what I’m getting into. I don’t like being tied down, call it authority issues.”

“You won’t be.” Shepard replied flatly, stepping into his space. “And I understand authority issues, but once you’re on my crew, you answer to me and to me only. You break that trust and you’re gone. You want to leave, you check with me. I don’t want some wild gun waiting to go off any second, I want an asset that I can trust with the most important people in the galaxy to me, who won’t have any hesitation about doing anything necessary to save the entire universe. Am I clear?”

“Crystal, ma'am.” Hawkeye straightened his shoulders. “If you need help, then another hand won’t hurt. Long as you don’t have any problems with my methods.”

Shepard stared at the man for a long second, and he steadily returned her gaze. After a minute, she nodded and held out her hand. “Welcome to the Normandy.” She said, and Hawkeye grinned and shook her hand.

“Happy to come along.” He said. “So do I just grab my shit and run after you, or do you have people for that?”

Shepard smirked. “Yeah, I have someone in mind for the heavy lifting, don’t you worry.” She crossed her arms and looked to where Garrus was still silently staring at her. “Hey, ugly. Time to pay me back for this little favor.”

Garrus groaned and rolled his eyes, and Hawkeye smirked. “Come on, Archangel! It’s just a few heavy-duty storage crates. I might throw in a few extra things just to make you sweat.”

“You work out all the guys you bring home like this?” Garrus lightly elbowed him, and Shepard snorted in amusement.

“Just the handsome Turian assassins.” Hawkeye waggled his eyebrows. “It’s good to finally put a face to the record. You’ve been taunting me for long enough, I deserve a few jabs at you.”

“You know, Archangel isn’t my real name.” Garrus said as they started walking together.

“That so? I never could dig up anything on you, you slippery bastard.”

Garrus smirked and held out a hand. “Garrus Vakarian, former c-sec, Normandy weapons specialist, at your service.”

“Vakarian? Ugly name to match your mug.” Hawkeye grinned and shook his hand. “Clint Barton.”

“It’s good to finally meet you, Barton.”

“You too, Vakarian.”

#mass effect #avengers #marvel #clint barton #shakarian #ch: clint barton #ch: garrus vakarian #ch: commander shepard #sh: no shepard without vakarian #tj writes sometimes #asks #anon #PLEASE LOVE ME

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 4 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love 2: Chapter 4

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089466/chapters/54170929

Part 2- Chapter 4: The Turian in Med-Bay

When Anya woke up, she wasn't in med-bay anymore. That gave her a nice bout of cardiac arrest. However, it only took a few seconds of staring at shades of black and white to realize she was just across the deck, in Miranda's pristine office.

And sitting at her desk was the aforementioned liaison.

As she started sitting up, Miranda swung her chair around and gave Anya a very concerned set of thick eyebrows. "Shepard, I don't normally try to pry into anyone's personal lives, but..."

This was bullshit. Anya was going to get out of here, walk over to med bay, and go back to Garrus. Last she remembered, she was sitting at Chakwas' desk, waiting for him to get out of surgery behind a large white curtain. She needed to be back there, whatever time it was, because she'd left him for long enough and she couldn't stay away just because some pretty Cerberus agent wanted to police who the fuck she was.

She was Anya fucking Shepard, and she didn't abandon her team. What the fuck did Miranda even know about her, anyway?

But then Anya saw her sweats on the side table and she gave Miranda a little more credit. The way her shoulder shrieked when she tried to touch it also slowed her down a bit.

Swallowing, she shimmied on the sweats while sitting and asked, "But what?"

Miranda walked over from her chair and sat down next to Anya. "All accounts made it clear you were close to your team. But when we evacuated that apartment, you wouldn't even let me look at your bruises. And before we reached Archangel, you lost your head about his identity. I need to ask: what is your relationship with him?"

When she started talking, Shepard was already prepared to answer about her mission objectivity when it came to him, which she could back up with the entirety of the Saren mission. However, that wasn't what Miranda said. She was thrown by it.

Anya went to let her hair down, but realized her bun was already ruined by the bed. She just detangled the ties and pins left in her mess of locks. Then she got to do a run-through with her fingers, calming her down a little. While she didn't feel comfortable baring her tragic turian crush to Miranda, she could at least give her most of the facts. "On our mission with Saren, Garrus became my best friend. My confidant. He pushed me to be my best and I relied on that. I resigned myself to getting used to a new team here, but finding him-" Taking a deep breath, Anya got to the admission. "He was one of the people who evacuated the Normandy when the Collectors attacked. I told him I'd find him, but I didn't. I fucking died. I abandoned him for two years. I couldn't let him die, too, after all that. But more selfishly? I haven't felt myself since I woke up. Just a few seconds with him, though, and I was Commander Anya Shepard again. I couldn't lose that, not when everything about me feels so incorporeal."

With her slightly too perceptive eyebrows, Miranda asked, "Is that all you were?"

Remembering the morning after Noveria, Anya winced. "Yes."

"Okay." Across from her, Miranda looked very hesitant, but after a few awkward fakeouts, she patted Shepard's hand with her own. If she wasn't so tense and stressed about a certain turian, she would've laughed. But the way Miranda patted her, like she was an alien object, did make her chuckle under her breath. When she stopped trying to physically comfort her, Miranda said, "I understand none of this has been easy, Shepard. We never planned to wake you up like this. It was supposed to be a longer adjustment period. But with the attack and The Collectors escalating their raids-"

Anya stared at the empty, pointed corner of the ceiling. She knew where this speech went. Since Akuze, she'd heard it over and over. "The galaxy needs Commander Shepard back." Standing on her own, Anya crossed her arms and looked down at Miranda. The young woman definitely meant well, much better than she expected out of Cerberus. But that didn't change things. "I appreciate the concern, Miranda, but I'm not going to fuck over the galaxy for him. I just want to keep him alive."

Those eyebrows furrowed again, and Miranda stood up and opened her mouth to rebute, but a knock on the door caught both their attention. In the doorway, with her hands now behind her back, Chakwas said, "Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but my patient's awake. And he wants to see Shepard."

Glancing back at Miranda, Anya shrugged. No matter how totally fun this judgy conversation was, she made her priorities clear. And a hurt Garrus trumped invasive Cerberus liaison every day.

Anya gave Miranda and Chakwas respectful nods before leaving the room. She tucked her hands in her pockets and tried to ignore the full damn Rachni stampede going on in between her lungs and intestines. When she started walking she was moving fast, but each step got harder.

It was easy to do surface level shit on Omega. She wasn't sure what awaited her in the med-bay.

What if Garrus hated her, after what she did?After all, she was pretty sure out of everyone, he was the one who knew she was well aware of her odds when she walked up those stairs. Depending on how things went these past two years, maybe he had every right to.

But she also cared more about the friend she missed, who took a damn rocket to his face, than her own dumb insecurities.

Taking a slow, deep breath, the kind you feel all the way to your toes, she walked through the door and there he was. He was leaning back against a bed, even looked annoyed by it. But instead of a blood halo around his face, he just had a new, jagged scar covering his right cheek.

One step in, and his head flicked over to her. He gave her this slow, warm smile. All her worst fears melted away. "Shepard." He said her name like it was the last line to his favorite movie. The rest of the steps towards him were easy.

Resting her hands on the edge of the med-bed, centimeters from his own, she smiled back. "Welcome back to the Normandy."

"I see that." His eyes flicked around the room and she knew that look. She'd been giving the entire ship those surreal scans of every inch, because they all still felt like memories. But then his eyes flicked to hers. That surreal look didn't leave his face when he stared at her.

Garrus asked, "Chakwas hasn't given me a mirror, tell me, how bad is it?"

Anya almost breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure if she was ready for them to get all deep with their conversations yet. Right now, it was just nice to hear his voice. Responding in kind, she smirked. "Hate to tell you Garrus, but you never were a classic beauty. Slap some face paint and no one will notice."

His laugh might've been even nicer than his voice. But then he winced. Anya's hand instinctively reached for him, but he shook his head. "Ouch. Don't make me laugh too hard." After a few cautious breaths, he managed his classic smirk. She didn't realize how much she liked seeing it. "Anyway, some women are into the whole scar thing. Granted, most of those women are krogan."

When she laughed, it felt like she was trying out a new muscle. Apparently she hadn't been laughing enough in this updated body. "I don't think Wrex is in a place to find you a wife."

"All my hopes and dreams, ruined." Before she could be properly prepared, he placed his hand on hers. Anya felt that laugh drop out from under her. All she wanted to do was look in his eyes and listen. His fingers squeezed hers. "I can't believe it's you. We're talking like you didn't suffocate in the vacuum of space and that's really damn weird, right?"

Garrus was making all her insides feel different things, but she wasn't sure the memory of her own death was a very positive one. Her hand clenched under his and she stared at it, like she was crushing her own chest with her hand. "I know. I still can't really wrap my head around it. I felt my lungs pop and everything." When she looked up, his face had darkened in a way she'd never seen before. "Too graphic?"

"No. Just reminds me how much I wanted to kill Kaidan for leaving you."

"Garrus, he-"

Pulling his hand from hers, Garrus shook his head. His whole body rippled with a rage she'd never seen before. She knew he had a lot of angst and frustration back in the day, but nothing like this. Garrus said, "He was with Joker, and chose to run down and see you instead of protect the pilot and evacuate him when necessary. He knew exactly what he was doing."

Anya didn't really want to think of who to blame. Especially since she made the call, at the end of the day. "If it wasn't the Collectors, it would've been something else."

"I know. But it's hard to live with the fact I knew how much danger you were in and I let you walk away. If I blame myself, I'm gonna blame them, too."

Thinking of Joker a deck above, she knew it wasn't that easy. That whole day was... Well, they weren't prepared and it was a miracle so many people survived in the first place. Anya went to open her mouth, try to say something, but the intercom interrupted her. "Shep, Illusive Man wants to talk to you."

Her skin rippled with irritated pin needles. "Well tell him to fuck off, Joker."

"I don't think he operates on Council channels. He says he'll link himself into the room if you don't."

"Fuck."

Next to her, Garrus said, "Do what you need to do. I'll be here."

"But Garrus, we've barely talked-"

"I know, we have a lot to talk about. We can do that later, though."

Anya sighed. Their serious conversation always seemed to get interrupted, didn't they? Next time, she'll have to tell EDI to kill the comms until they were done. Standing, she said, "You leave this ship while I'm gone and I'll hunt you down all over again."

"Now don't you start making a breakout sound tempting." He chuckled, but then did another wincing cough. The cough gave her some pause, but he waved her away. Anya couldn't budge, even though she knew she probably should. Rolling his eyes, he said, "Seriously, get out of here before you make me pop a lung, too."

She knew she was prolonging her exit, but the rocket-to-the-face still left shockwaves of concern thrumming through her chest. "Get better, Garrus."

"I'm already a lot better than where you found me."

And she didn't need to be told twice to walk away from that, because that made her cheeks feel a little warm and she didn't have the time to explain.

Damn the Illusive Man for taking her away from all the confusing feelings in med-bay. Back in the day, she'd be happy to run. But now? She wished she could stay and try to figure it out.

So, lucky for the hologram asshole himself, she was going to say hi with more annoyed flair today.

Walking into the meeting room, she stuffed her hands in her pockets and said, "I'm ready, Joker."

Around her, the space turned dark and she was standing in front of that chair with a pretty displeased looking Cerberus leader. Anya could get down with that, pissing him off. She relaxed her shoulders and asked, "What'd I do this time?"

"Caused a power vacuum in Omega the size of a small moon. Extracting him didn't mean killing everyone in sight, Shepard. I thought you were Alliance."

"Oh no, I definitely needed to kill them all."

"Don't let your personal feelings get in the way of the mission."

"Worry not, your Miss Lawson already got that covered."

"Just pull your new team together, ASAP. The Collectors won't wait for sentiment." "What are you wearing?"

"Sweats. The Collectors won't wait for fashion." The statement only seemed to annoyed him further, but he didn't have a rebuttal prepared. "Is that all?"

"Head to the prison ship, Shepard, and do the job everyone needs you to do."

"Got it. Bye." Shutting off the call, she let all the self-inflated dickry that she pumped up for the call blow away. Instead, the weight of everything just sunk down onto her chest, like it always did. Sarcastically, she added, "Like I don't know by now that the galaxy's at stake."

Before she told Joker to head out, she had one thing to settle. The call was quicker than she expected, so she went down the elevator and booked it to med-bay. However, the second she got close, she saw Garrus through the glass, passed out. When she got close, Chakwas was already in the way. "I assumed you'd be back. Garrus has been sedated. He needs some forced rest for a few days. God knows that man isn't good at doing it willingly."

Anya exhaled, encasing her disappointment in layers of duty. She didn't have time to talk about her feelings right now, anyway. She had dossiers.

But if anyone asked her if The Illusive Man said anything right, she'd vehemently deny it. Mostly because of his asshole chair; it said way too much about how much of a jerk he was.

Nodding, Shepard patted Chakwas' shoulder. "Thanks, doc. Take care of him."

"I will."

Back up to the command deck, Anya pushed thoughts of Garrus away and met up with Joker in the cockpit. "Drive this hunk of metal to a prison ship."

Joker didn't seem too pleased with her cranky vernacular. "Apologize to my baby before you put her in that kind of danger."

"Fine. Sorry, Normandy. Now please take her to the grizzled, heavily armed, terrifying prison ship."

"I don't think that's better." He paused for a second, before asking what she already knew he'd ask. "I take it the reunion with Mister stick-up his ass wasn't great? Granted, seems his MO now is taking that stick out and beating people with it."

"I don't know yet."

"Ominous."

The smooth voice of the robotic co-pilot interrupted them. "Is it a turian custom to have sticks up their rectum?" Shepard blinked at EDI, since that wasn't what she expected out of an AI. "Jeff keeps mentioning it every time he talks about Garrus Vakarian."

Shepard whacked the back of the pilot's head. "Get a new joke."

"Don't make this about me. This is about you, cranky-sweats."

Anya sighed. "EDI, ignore Joker's nonsensical insults. I'll teach you better ones." But then she got real with her pseudo-family, because if she wasn't at least a little honest with him, she doubted she'd survive the turmoil. "And when it comes to Garrus, I'm not quite sure what my death did to him."

"Well, dude was a wreck at the funeral. After what happened to him on Omega? Can't blame him for being a little fucked up."

"I know."

Joker swiveled around his chair and said, "But I also know he cares a shit ton about you. I don't think some mercs or even you being a zombie will change that."

"Thanks, Joker." Anya patted his shoulder and flexed her eyebrows. "Now time for the prison ship?"

Turning back around, Joker groaned, "Dammit. Fine."

And off they were. Until Garrus was back up and running, the best she could do was do her job. Even if that meant she'd keep worrying about him in the back of her mind.

Old habits die hard, and the way Garrus' face looked right now made them really easy to stumble back into.

///

Author's Note:

So excited to get the band back together and really enjoy the awesomeness of Mass Effect 2 in my own way. It's my favorite of the series, and was my first ME game, so I'm hyped.

But at the end of the day, we're all just happy our favorite turian is okay.

Thank you so much for reading, and extra special, ice cream sundae thanks to my patrons:

Danyell Jones

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If you want to eventually play games with me on stream or have me read out some of my writing (or even write with me) please become a patron! All proceeds are currently going towards a desktop that can actually handle a Twitch stream. Find links/info in my bio or on these other sites:

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#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #femshep x garrus #garrus vakarian #Anya shepard #femshep #Mass Effect 2 #Mass Effect fanfiction #fanfiction #Bioware romances

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