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goldsbitch · 23 hours

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Hypochondria

The emotions and glimpses of daily life of this random girl followed Lando throughout his whole. Whenever she's sad, he knows. Her celebrations sort of become his celebrations. For him, it's like breathing - just another part of his life. That is until he meets her.

soulmate au

Lando knew the moment he saw her. And it was at that point when he thought he was truly going crazy.

For his whole life, he thought it was just some fantasy that he planted in his mind in early age and was impossible to get rid off.

He froze completely. Panicked, went into fight or flight mode, these two fighting each other so hard that he just stood there, staring like a creep. Thank god she was far away enough and probably did not notice.

His second immediate reaction was anger. Did she really not notice him? The audacity? How can she roam around his brain for his whole life and then not react when she sees him? Her being in the paddock meant that she definitely knew who he was, people don't just end up by chance there.

Except maybe she did. Her outfit gave away that she was one of the medics from the medical team. Of course she would be. Saving lives, doing something proper meaningful. Not driving around in circles and making a big deal out of it, like he did. Never in his life did he feel as selfish and sort of shameful for his choice of career.

He began to insert ideas into her head, despite not having spoken a single word to her. She was probably someone who valued intelligence, people who were book smart, humble heroes in the society who were focus on dedicating their lives to saving others.

Not those who were recklessly driving around in circles. There was no way she'd see him fit to her. That was not going to stop him. Her being one of the medics provided a great opportunity. Hypochondria? So be it.

His mind was spiraling out of control.

//

For as long as he could remember, he had dreams (and something he would not dare call visions) about this one girl. As if he was watching glimpses of her life, little moments, bits and pieces. But it was almost constant. He was so used to it at this point that he found it relaxing. It was very confusing growing up. Every adult around him was freaking out when his childhood imaginary friend phase would just not go away. So once he realized that people were thinking he's weird, he just stopped talking about it. It was also a big revelation to him when he found out that other people did not have these visions in their head so intensively. When he was 17 he had an obsession phase, where he researched the fuck out of how brains worked, but nothing seemed to match. His dreams did not provide him with anything specific, no details about place, vague signs that this person he kept seeing at least lived in the same time frame as he did. It was little things he saw and felt, as if her emotions traveled to him. He'd seen her happy, laughing with friends while she tried weed for the first time, getting nervous by her exams and debating whether to brush her teeth in the evening. Her becoming a medic now finally answered few questions. Often he would wonder why was she studying so much. His blurry dreams blocking these specifics out, just to make it all more frustrating. Observing her having a a crush on someone was unnerving and eventually, seeing little things from her romantic relationship just made him supremely mad. He was glad that was over, because at one point, it had started to seriously mess up his mood. He genuinely celebrated the break up. Incredible amounts of little moments and details that were conveyed to him, but no idea on where or who she was. He just had this knowledge in his head about someone who he doubted actually existed.

And now she was probably standing right across the track. It was a lot to take in.

//

Most of the medical team traveled with them, as far as Lando was aware. Never really paid that much of attention to that department until then. So he figured he's only have few days to capture her attention, she might have been local. He was already contemplating moving here to join her life. That's when he decided to get a full medical check up upon request.

He complained nonstop about a pain in his stomach - vague enough for many possibilities having to be ruled out.

It quickly started feeling like playing a video game. Having to jump through levels in order to get to his "boss".

He spent an hour in the medical centre, where he was taken immediately after his first comment about his fictional pain, because everyone still had in fresh memory the saga of Carlos's appendix. "This is gonna be easy" he thought to himself, because one of the first people he saw passing by was her. He was not even trying to hide when observing her. The way her hair fell out of a messy bun. A concentrated look as she was attending one of the staff members, listening attentively and taking care of their wound. The whole place seemed to glow up by her presence. He wondered how it felt when her fingertips touched the skin of another person and was almost jealous of the person she was treating. On par with his bad luck, the drivers had a dedicated doctor on call, so he was taken to a different private room where he had to undergo a full medical scan, with of course nothing being found. When he got out, she was no longer there. All for nothing.

//

The rest of his day was covered in a brain fog, he sort of floated through the media day, feeling like he was not really there. He let Oscar totally step up to be the main star this time. As if he could give a fuck.

Over the years of having to life with this strange connection, he managed to block it out temporarily for moment when he really need to focus. This time, he was doing the exact opposite. Trying to somehow "connect" to this personal bluetooth he had in his head.

Finally, after few hours he felt something. A light wave of anxiety, as she opened her email. Then a wave of disappointment, despair and her giving up. He was more than able to not get affected by her emotions - usually. This time it was sort of in tune with his own mix of emotions, so if he was a downer before it progressed perfectly into him shutting off completely.

//

He managed to completely forget that his latest girlfriend, if that was the right word to use, was coming over. He only realized when he saw a pair of female shoes thrown by the door of his hotel room. A wave of guilt washed over him. He was being an asshole again. As they greeted each other, he tried to kiss her as much as he could, trying to avoid unnecessary conversation. Maybe this reality check was good. He often got lost in his own head, listening sad song to fill this strange void - or he would party too much. Now, there was a real person standing in front of him, a super hot girl who liked him and was not annoying. He figured there was no point in drowning in his own delusions.

Letting her fuck his brains out worked, at least until the next morning.

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jinbedreams · 21 hours

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It's been so fascinating to see how strongly people react to Toshiro in Dungeon Meshi. When I first read that scene I didn't feel hurt by Toshiro's rejection of Laois at all, I was more shocked at Laios raising a hand to him in anger because Laios had always felt like a man free from such anger and aggression. Although it was very powerful to see that Laios was capable of feeling such a way. I felt the scene was very emotionally charged and an important moment for both characters.

So when I started hearing about how hurt other people were at seeing Toshiro lash out in frustration towards Laios, and seeing people express discomfort towards Toshiro I was surprised but not confused. Honestly I was more surprised at myself for not having a similar reaction because I have also been subject to being led on in "friendships" that the other person secretly despised (or at least did NOT feel the same). It can be very hurtful to discover that someone has built a resentment towards you but never made any attempt to clear the air with you until a point of crisis.

I am autistic and I struggle a lot with relationships but in this instance I didn't see myself in Laios' shoes (although I have been there) instead I found myself relating to Toshiro. A man trapped by social expectations, rigid rules of engagement hammered into him from a young age, only to discover that there is someone who does not follow these rules at all. Even more bizarrely they seem completely free from any of the consequences that would befall Toshiro if he ever deviated from his carefully cultivated mask.

I can say from experience it is confronting to try and unpack your own high masking trauma while also feeling compelled to support the low masking autistic person in your life. Even if the other person means no ill will and has not truly done anything wrong, having them unknowingly walk all over you can be enough to push you to a breaking point. There is an intense frustration that comes with seeing someone else get away with not following the social rules you have beaten yourself painfully into shape to fit.

Yes Toshiro could have chosen any moment to correct Laios on his name, or clarify his discomfort or his personal boundaries, but that is operating under the assumption that Toshiro feels safe enough to do so. He is a stranger in a strange land, and often in that position it is a safer choice to subject yourself to a level of discomfort simply to keep the general peace. Where my fellow high maskers at? We make biting our tongue a fucking art.

#Could Toshiro have approached the topic in a more gentle manner? Yes #But in that vein Laios could have checked in with Toshiro and made sure he got his name right or that he also felt the same way etc #thats the beauty of this story #no one is right or wrong theyre just people #and despite their differences they do have a level of respect for one another #god I love #Dungeon Meshi #shuro #toshiro dungeon meshi #laios dungeon meshi #laios touden #DONT even get me started on Kabru hes got me in even more of a chokehold than these two

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hatchetno1 · 2 days

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creepypasta kinks.

featuring eyeless jack, jeff the killer, masky, hoodie, and ticci toby.

cw: nsfw, knifeplay, blood, cnc.

Eyeless Jack finds his libido to only be elevated after his transformation into a demon. A helpless victim writhing in the grasp of his own carnal desires, he is left with no choice and seeks you out.

Marking. You are his. You are his, and every being, every living creature that lays eyes on you has to know it. The bite marks on your skin are perfect, perfect negative impressions of his impressive set of teeth. He finds the blood dripping from the deepest indentations on your neck to be beautiful.

Dirty talk. “Mine, mine, you’re all mine.” He whispers in your ear, licking at it, teasing its shell. Shivers run down your spine.

Manhandling, also linked to a size difference kink. Jack had always been a tall man, but after transforming, he had grown even taller and bigger, beyond what could possibly be considered normal. His silhouette engulfs yours, enabling him to pick you up with ease, toss you on his bed, carry you and fuck you.

Mirrors. He fucks you in front of a mirror and commands you to look at yourself. Look at you, just how delectable you look while his cock thrusts into you. You’re so red, you’re so bothered.

Breeding and creampies. But he’s not done with you yet, he tells you as he watches his seed drip out of your ruined hole. For even if your hole is useless, you still have other ones.

Jeffrey Woods has always been tightly wound, always ready to snap. It’s no surprise he takes his frustrations out fucking you, whether it be hateful fucking, or…well, it’s actually really mostly just that.

Consensual non-consent. You will be his, even when you don’t want to be, or at least act like you don’t. He’ll grab you, by the wrists, your hair, even your neck, and he will take you wherever and whenever he pleases.

Knife play. “You’re so beautiful when you bleed,” he’ll remark, and the occasional, “I want you and I covered all up in your blood.” And so cover himself in your blood he does, your vision fading as you bleed away.

Impact play. He’ll slap you, your butt, your face, wherever he pleases. You are not a person to him, not in that moment. You are his object to fuck and make use of. His pleasure is number one in his mind.

Licking and marking—though not out of affection. It’s a twisted possession, a wicked obsession. His, his, his. Blood drips everywhere. Red is all he sees. Red is all you are. Bleeding out in his bed.

Timothy “Masky” Wright’s personalities blend. Masky, and Tim. No, not Masky; Tim. Not Tim; Masky. Oh, what’s going on in his head? Why can’t he seem to control himself?

- Bondage. He must tie you up. He has to. The Operator wills it. Masky grabs the rope; Tim resists. He mustn’t tie his precious darling up. But Masky has to.

- Kissing. “I’m sorry,” Tim mumbles, and Masky hisses, don’t. But Tim prevails in this moment, and you get your affection, though it does seem like he’s holding back—from smashing your head in.

- Marking. You want to kiss your precious darling, so be it, growls Masky’s voice in the back of his head. But we do it His way. Masky bites at your flesh mercilessly, causing you to bleed, but at least Tim gets to leave his mark on you.

- Creampie—the struggle between Masky and Tim leaves the latter no room, no time to react to his ejaculation. He comes inside of you, and as he groans, he releases his seed. But before he can pull out, Masky commands: Stay.

- We will mark and imbue this wench. This one belongs to Him.

- YOU CANNOT FIGHT HIM.

Brian “Hoodie” Thomas is attractive, there is no denying it. But if a person were to lay eyes on him, with his charismatic smile, the furthest thought from their mind would be his true demeanor around you in the bedroom.

BDSM, namely sadism, bondage, impact play, and power play.

He is sadistic, dishing pain out without a second thought, like a billionaire spending thousands without a second thought. You plead and beg for mercy, a reprieve from the pain on your ass, but he simply smirks and the sting of his spanks begin all over again.

Bondage. For if he is to do what he truly desires to you, you must not be able to resist. “My pretty pretty darling,” he hums in a singsong, “I won’t be done with you anytime soon.”

Impact play. His favorite is flogging, seeing tears run down your face, red marks the exact shape of his weapon appear on your thighs, your chest, your stomach, everywhere. Your tears are everywhere. And as he fingers you, pleasure and pain blur together.

Humiliation. He unbinds you abruptly, causing you to fall to the ground. “On your knees,” he commands, and you have no choice but to obey.

“Worship me,” he whispers to you, and you obey.

You obey.

Tobias Erin “Toby” Rogers is relatively inexperienced, but his confidence surprises you every time. Your guard down, he pounces, engulfing you whole.

Consensual non-consent. “Say you don’t want this.” “What?” “Say you don’t want this,” he whispers back, more urgency in his voice. And so you comply.

Zero foreplay. He inserts himself, intruding upon the sanctity of your body, and as you howl in agony your hole wettens itself around him. He sighs in pleasure. Pleasure—it’s only for him.

Crying. Tears. Tears all over your face, snot running down your philtrum unattractively. It all goes to his cock, it all emboldens him. “Cry more,” he whispers, voice trembling in excitement, fingertips wiping away your tears, bringing them to his lips for a taste.

Fear. The fear in your eyes, so enticing, so easy to get lost in. Were your eyes always so fearful of him? Will you never see him the same way again? The thought excites him, his heart races, his thrusts growing more erratic.

Punishment. All of a sudden, he pulls out and comes onto the floor. He turns back to your confused face and orders with surprising presidency in his voice: “Lick it up.”

You stare at him in horror.

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etrevil · 8 months

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reunion and farewell - “The night you fled from the mafia… I celebrated with a 1989 vintage. That was how sick I was of you.” /// “It’s been seven years since we met. We never did get along, did we? But… Come to think of it now, there were times when we understood each other.”

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yellowsubiesdance · 3 months

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i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume

for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.

and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.

all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.

HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.

you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.

#hazbin hotel spoilers #that’s not even touching on the fact that husk was an overlord too #he also owned souls that he used as currency to supply his gambling addiction #he’s also not a good person!!#the majority of these characters are in hell for a reason: they’re not good people #i quite frankly love the way this show blurs the lines between good and evil #our heroes are sinners and overlords and demons. while the enemies are angels. but that doesn’t mean our heroes are good people.#you HAAAVE to come to terms with that!! you have to stop seeing the world in black and white or you’re not going to survive this world #if you’re upset because alastor was cruel to husk fine! be upset! but explore why you’re taking yourself out of that world.#in this world sinners own other people. there’s no ifs ands or buts #‘oh alastor is a poc why would he own people’ he was a serial killer when he was alive do you really think you can apply your values to that #(and this is me speaking as a poc. specifically a mixed race poc.)#i cannot speak to who vivzie is as a person. but i’m interested in the message she’s writing and thus far i’m finding it compelling #it’s a similar story as the good place but it’s going the distance to explore even worse people than those in the good place #i don’t think it’s responsible to write something off just because unsavory things happen in it.#and she’s giving us so many different types of representation that don’t involve race (although we’re also getting a lot of hispanic rep)#just like cool your jets and maybe process some of the anger you’re feeling. and maybe nothing will change.#but if you act. instead of react. if you understand why you’re feeling some type of way and then make a choice.#that’s so much stronger and more responsible than reacting and not thinking anything through #hazbin hotel #alastor #husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin husk #anyway let me get off my soapbox #long post

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brittlebutch · 1 month

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actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

#N posts stuff #like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up #JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of #breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least #been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter #what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way #other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit #so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series #Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex #'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals #Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid #and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have)#ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue #that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex #because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay #so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG.#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly #the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad #'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway.#the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to #like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry #and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated #on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty #so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes #not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway

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eggy-tea · 11 months

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For a movie featuring basically zero explicitly queer characters, Across the Spider-Verse was pretty fucking queer.

#see: trans (allegory?) gwen stacy #see: coming out to your parents and not knowing if they’ll still love you afterwards #having a major part of your identity be something you need to hide #thinking you’re a lone freak and then finding out that there are actually SO MANY other people like you #and then realizing that just because you’re part of the same community it doesn’t mean you automatically see eye-to-eye on everything #coming out to your parents and they’re not ready for it and they don’t react the way you’d hope #community elders taking you in because they’ve been there #community elders channeling their trauma into trying to keep the kids safe #community elders perpetuating trauma because they can’t not when trauma responses are what’s kept them alive #and like. a bunch of this is common to a lot of different marginalized communities #and a bunch more is common to growing up and becoming your own person #which is why it’s been at the center of a lot of superhero stuff since superhero stuff has been a thing #and why superhero stuff can resonate with a wide variety of people from different backgrounds #but also: Choices Were Made #spider man: across the spider verse spoilers #spiderman atsv spoilers #<- very mild and in the tags but still. better safe etc.#anyway a+ movie can’t wait to watch it again

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year

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Something that SEEERIOUSLY isn’t talked about enough among Rodrigue fans is how Rodrigue (almost? or generally) always refers to Dimitri as “Your/His Highness” except in the moment that Dimitri’s life was at risk right in front of Rodrigue and Rodrigue shielded him with his own body.

Rodrigue is always respectful and aware of their stations, but none of that matters when Dimitri is almost killed. Rodrigue reacts emotionally without station in mind, forgetting to refer to him in an “appropriate” manner and reacting instead in a more intimate manner (i.e. using a person’s name instead of their title).

Most people wouldn’t dare to refer to their prince by their first name, but Rodrigue forgets all that the moment Dimtiri is in danger. He follows up that familial intimacy by calling Dimitri “my boy”. In a way it’s like Rodrigue's formalities are just forced expectations that are ingrained into him, because his actual instinct is to refer to Dimitri in a familial way. If he doesn’t have time to think about what he’s saying, it will be Dimitri’s name that he uses because that’s how he truly thinks of Dimitri.

He doesn’t solely view Dimitri as his prince. He views Dimitri as family, and in a setting where royalty exists, it’s so important to the relationship in question when that societal expectation is broken, simply because it tells you exactly what that character thinks of their royalty.

When royalty’s life is in danger, it would even make sense for people to hesitate because if they do anything, they might also be in danger and generally humans instinctually prioritize their own life (even if they do really want to step in to help). That typically is not the case with humans regarding loved ones, where that instinct instead changes to an instinct where they automatically step in to protect people dear to them - especially parents to their children. Parents - not just in humans but in most forms of life (cats, dogs, etc) - are extremely protective of their children and react without a second - even a first - thought, because it’s not a thought at all when they see their children in danger. It’s a base reaction.

Rodrigue wasn’t witnessing his prince being attacked. He was witnessing his son being attacked, and he reacted as a father would - not as a knight, a vassal or anyone under Dimitri’s station and how they would be expected to react to protect him. Dimitri didn’t have to be his blood son for him to react the same way a blood parent would. Dimitri wasn’t born to him but he was Rodrigue’s son all the same and he couldn’t accept his boy being harmed.

I love that his reaction is exactly the same as what Lambert would have done. I love that in that one moment when he didn’t have time to think about his word choice, such important stations meant absolutely nothing to him. I love that what was important to him was Dimitri the person, and not Dimitri the prince. I love that at the very end, he died knowing his boy was safe and alive. I love that, when he starts reusing “Your Highness”, it’s only after the immediate danger has passed and he has time to actually process his word choice again, because it really drives home how quickly and thoughtlessly he reacted to seeing Dimitri in danger when he dropped formalities to use his first name.

He also didn’t tell him to live for the people or live because he was a prince. He wanted Dimitri to remember to live for himself and likely died with the hope that those being his last words would be taken much more heavily and sincerely, and give Dimitri a lot to think about in regard to caring for himself as a person and not just seeing himself as a prince/future king, because Rodrigue also saw him as a person.

Not only did Rodrigue protect his son (which mind you must have been extremely important to him after already losing a son. Can you imagine how devastated he would be to lose another child? This time he saved a son from death, which he was unable to do previously and he wasn’t present to be able to even try), but he gave Dimitri the thing Dimitri desired the most from those he loved: he treated Dimitri like a regular person who needed to live his own life for himself, and in the single most critical moment to Rodrigue, forgot to use titles and formalities and openly expressed his true feelings just by using Dimitri’s name alone.

Dimitri never liked all those stuffy behaviors and titles. He just wanted to be a person. Rodrigue, his family, gave him that at Rodrigue’s very end, explicitly informing Dimitri that was how this man always thought of him just from that one moment of Rodrigue’s feelings slipping through. He was always keeping up appearances, but Dimitri was always just Dimitri to him.

Also, Rodrigue says “please tell me it wasn’t in vain”. Remember, Rodrigue’s son died in vain. Glenn didn’t actually get to protect Dimitri. Earlier, Rodrigue stated that Dimitri’s injuries left him on the verge of death. Glenn didn’t die protecting him. Glenn died in a tragedy. Nothing Glenn did that day that led to his death actually helped Dimitri survive. Dimitri survived because Gilbert found him in time.

Rodrigue knows that and doesn’t want another person dear to Dimitri to die a death that didn’t need to happen. He also doesn’t want it to be in vain because if it was, he would have died being unable to protect his son. Rodrigue “died for what he believed in”, but he died because he thoughtlessly, without hesitation, died to save his son. He believed in Dimitri, but he also believed Dimitri to be his child as much as Glenn and Felix ever were.

Even though Glenn did die in vain, he attempted to die keeping his best friend alive. He believed in his best friend, just like Lambert believed in his son to be able to saved if he ever went astray.

Before Rodrigue dies, he last thoughts are of Lambert, but also his promise to Lambert, which was about Dimtiri.

Rodrigue was always thinking of his family throughout the whole game (literally, he brings up Felix to Byleth regularly and brings up Glenn throughout the story as well), and that extended to Lambert and Dimtiri. At the very last, he literally died like he lived, and that was for his family.

#DCB Comments #Rodrigue #Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius #I just love that Rodrigue wasn't living solely as the right hand of a king #It wasn't about who was in power that he acted like he did for them #If you notice too he never really talks about Rufus as if he simply doesn't care for him either way #Rufus is still part of the royal family but he doesn't get the same treatment from Rodrigue as Lambert and Dimitri #It's not about ''they're my king and prince''. It's not about being in a slightly lesser station than them that he saved Dimitri #For him it was always about family first and his position after even if HE himself didn't realize that #If Rufus was about to die would Rodrigue die for him? Probably not. He may be a royal but if Rodrigue died for him #he couldn't be alive to watch over the people he actually cares about. Say Rufus was about to die but Lambert and Dimitri weren't even there #Here he wouldn't even have a choice to make of ''do I die for Rufus or live for them''. I think he simply just... wouldn't do it #He might /fight/ to keep him alive but I don't think he would shield Rufus with his own body. That line of thinking makes me think #that again it's not about status. It's about who he considers family and who is important to him just like any other person would react #It's bc he loves those two that he behaves the way he does and does what he does for them. I think if he didn't love the people in power #he wouldn't treat them like he does simply bc they're in power. I think he only treats him like he does bc of affection #Like I really think if Rodrigue had to choose between Faerghus or Dimitri and/or Lambert that he'd pick those two over #Faerghus itself bc tbh Rodrigue is really just like anyone else. He has priorities preferences and biases #I ofc think he'd be torn abt it but I think he'd ultimately choose people he sees as family over anything else #i love you rodrigue achille fraldarius

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angelsdean · 1 year

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my tags on my prev reblog re: dean's misinterpreted attitude toward monsters just got me thinking abt sam and the bloodfreak stuff in general and like, as we know a lot of the early seasons were framed in sam's pov so a lot of the time it' him who's feeling like a monster and projecting that onto others to confirm his own beliefs abt himself. like when he finds out abt john telling dean to kill him if he goes darkside sam suddenly is in agreement w/ john saying john's right and dean has to do it because dad said so !!! anyways that's just preface to what i want to say which is, sam isn't really a monster. what i mean is, he's not a monster in the inherent sense that he seems to think he is, and that's part of the reason why dean pushes back against the demon blood stuff because he knows sam can be saved and for dean his number one job is to save sam because the alternative is following john's order and that's something he just cannot do. so it makes sense that dean would do whatever it takes even if that's being a little mean or forceful (calling him a monster, echoing john by telling him not to walk out that door to give sam pause, forcing him to detox) because he does not want to kill his brother.

but anyways, sam is not a monster in the way he (and a lot of fans) thinks he's a monster. he was Not born a monster, it's not something that is intrinsically and inherently part of him. and i'd argue there's really nothing special or "chosen one"-esque about him (aside from the lucifer bloodline making him a better candidate for vessel purposes), he was just a regular baby who was dosed with demon blood, which in the text is treated as a drug / addiction. there was nothing special about any of the babies azazel dosed, they were just the children of people he'd made deals with. i think pretty much any baby (possibly even adult) who's fed demon blood from a powerful enough demon (like a Prince of Hell) would develop psychic powers. so it's not something completely out of his control that's turning him into a monster like a virus or a vampire / werewolf bite where he can't stop the progression. it's not happening to him he's making active choices to strengthen those powers and the more he feeds the more he wants it. everything w/ ruby is framed as him knowing he's doing something "wrong", the sneaking around, the lying. and i think dean's response is along the lines of "we need to get you help. we need to stop this because it's something that can be stopped. and if we stop it then i won't have to see you lose yourself or go too far. because if you go too far and start hurting people then i might have to kill you and i can't do that so please just let us save you." and i think that's fair. yes he and bobby maybe go about things the wrong way but i think it's born out of desperation. and also it's not a rejection of "this is who you are and we hate you for being a monster" it's "you're making choices that are leading you down a dangerous path and we're scared we may lose you so we're trying to stop you from going too far down that road."

like the end goal of all the bloodfreak stuff (ruby's end goal) was to free lucifer and freeing lucifer would mean sam becoming his vessel. they obviously don't know all that at the time, but in hindsight it's like, yea we should've curbed that bloodfreak stuff sooner. also heaven was telling dean to stop sam too and that he was going down a dangerous path and that if dean doesn't stop him they will (likely meaning death) so again, of course dean's gonna try to do whatever he can to stop sam even if it's by not great methods. (also heaven was playing him too bc they also wanted lucifer to be freed so that Destiny could come to pass)

#i've been thinking a lot abt the bloodfreak stuff lately #esp whenever i see takes that sam is like inherently different or monstrous #like he's really not ??? he was just a baby who was fed demon blood like many other babies #i read the bloodfreak stuff thru an addition lens moreso than a 'there's something inherently wrong w/ me' lens #which is also why the queercoded sam stuff often just. does not stick for me. like i Can see where ppl are coming from #but when you don't view sam's monstrous-ness as inherent then it's like. well it doesn't make for good parallels to queerness #whereas you take the shifter / dean parallels and it's like !!!! the shifter relating to dean and saying they're alike in many ways #that they were both born different and hated before they had to make themselves different and both just want someone to love them #and the shifter as dean earlier telling sam he's a freak he knows he's a freak and that everyone will always leave him #it's just different the way dean's ''freakness'' is framed as something inherent to him #while sam's is literally literally !! something that was Introduced to him after the fact not something he was born with #i'm sorry and this isn't sam crit it's more. interpretation crit ?#but also i think we can all have different and conflicting interpretations too bc sometimes i'm like yea. queer sam!#(tho often that has nothing to do w/ the monster-coding)#but idk i've just been thinking abt the bloodfreak stuff lately and how other characters reacted to it and how it's framed from sam's pov #vs deans and other characters. like sam seems to think there is something inherently wrong w/ him and so a lot of viewers believe it #but from outside perspectives dean and bobby and even heaven view it as an addiction and as choices sam's making that he can stop #vic.txt #mymeta #long post #sam studies

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skrunksthatwunk · 14 days

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fuck that last fight against nightmare boooooo this shit is actually so stupid and evil and i don't like it >:(

#it's. eugh. it's. FUCK #i don't like it it's so bad i've done it like 10 times now #eughhhhhhhghhhnghn #dmc #dmc1 #i still ahven't beaten it either.. sheeshhh #and i have to fight the stupid ice lizard things before a lot of the attempts too and half the time i can't dodge their jump thing because #i'm mid-combo so any indication of the wind-up to it can't actually be reacted to bc i'm busy getting hit or hitting #such that by the time the move is finished i literally can't get out of the way. often a roll isn't even enough range and they stand next t #each other so one roll's basically all i have time for anyway. sigh #whateverrr. this blows. this blows actual literal severe ass. ughhhhghh #dante. dante i believe in you i believe in us we can do this. but FUCK YOU NIGHTMARE YOU STUPID OOZE #arrrhghrhharzagraaaaa #sigh.. look the vulnerable points shouldn't only be available during 100% attacks in that area such that you take crazy damage if you #actually try to attack the part you have to attack before it goes away. and i've gotten so close ONLY FOR THE SECOND PHASE TO INITIATE AND #IMMEDIATELY KILL ME. BROOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGG #look maybe i'm a pissbaby who's bad at video games but this pissbaby's got feelings #i should probably try a different weapon combo... sigh...#i did so bad on my alastor attempt that i've been using ifrit (i also like how fast the devil time is given the brevity of the weak spot's #appearances) but maybe sparda would be a better choice. but i like the devil trigger. i gotta listen to the song y'know. it's all about the #devil trigger babyy it's all about the devil time. and sparda's got nothing. maybe i should use that gun that looks like the goop #like. like is that a hint? idk i'd think if they were made of the same stuff it would be less effective #and i don't like that it seems to stunt your devil gauge. but if i'm using sparda anyway in for a penny in for a pound ig #whatever. rant over. i am. Calm (<- lying). so i'm gonna try again #and if i get mad again i'll do hw or something

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 1 month

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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hesfromsomewhere · 3 months

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tag ramble pt.1

#so much i feel like i want to say when a lot of this is just two different people who cant mesh and are hitting each other like confused #roomba.#on some level i wish i didnt respond or engage especially at the moment because what i said wasn’t particularly deep and only resulted in #hitting a wound that i already knew was there #i’d like to apologize for that much alone #that it is presumptuous and envasive to have strangers on the internet talk to you like that because yes it does very quickly cross to #feeling like being talked down to #these are people who are entirely self aware of the problems and of course i literally cannot enlighten them to it any further #they just dont care- they’re very tired of their life so far and do not have the time and energy and patience to talk to anyone else #like that.#the way they’ve chosen to fight is negatively. i cant dock someone for making a self conscious choice of how they’re going to behave #especially in the sense of standing up for yourself #i do get the feeling this doesnt serve someone in the long run #you are being spoken to in this way because you are reacting volatily to a random stranger on the internet #because of the way they hit a wound because of how you interpreted what they said #the idea that you’re standing up for yourself and you need to be mean so people dont talk to you in a way you dont like #like the block button isn’t infinitely better for that #to think this is a case of oohh lets all be sooo polite and pure and Correctly Speaking all the time or you’re just a widdle baby #is goofy #it IS reactive and it is volatile! i could have said this in a meaner way rather than politely #and maybe that would have been more easily received in this one case #but there was just acknowledgment of what was actually happening immediately right now in the moment #of course i dont know you and i dont know your life and thats not what this is about #but at the end of the day the question of if this works for you and genuinely serves you then i have absolutely nothing to say or add #that matters. if this is your honest self then everything else is null. you live in the way that serves you because thats literally all we #have #though i doubt that its fulfilling and honest at the end of the day i wont pretend this isnt someone just on one part of their journey #thats plenty farther along than others #and i really hope they are at or get to what serves them entirely

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eosofspades · 1 year

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i hate how difficult making massive projects is when it comes to art i am having the GREATEST idea for a video game but the only way it can come to actualization the way it needs to be to make it work is if i could get it picked up by a triple A studio

#its a third-person post-apocalyptic urban(?) fantasy digital!eldritch horror that #doubles as a cosmic horror in that certain characters *understand that they are in a video game*#with a DELICIOUS twist at the end and all these different stories lining up #and a very specific way where you can have multiple saves of different characters - skyrim style -#and different choices you make and the way they impact the narrative from there on out -#literally bleeds across game files. the crux of the plot is that the 'code' of the universe is corrupted and falling apart and #there are all these glitches and if a character gets 'corrupted' - different versions of them from other game files will #merge with them sort of and they react to the player based on what decisions they made involving that character in a different save #AND THERES A WHOLE PLOT WITH THESE TWO PRIMORDIAL BEINGS AND THEIR BATTLE AS OLD AS TIME (THE GAME ITSELF)#AND HOW ONE OF THEM KEEPS RESETTING THE GAME EVERY TIME THEY GET CLOSE TO LOSING #SO EVERYONE'S MEMORY IS WIPED #AND ITS WHY NO ONE KNOWS HOW THEY GOT TO THIS WORLD OR WHY THEY HAVE CERTAIN ABILITIES/ETC #and theres magic but its like shitty unbalanced magic where people can sort of casually fuck around with time loops and vortexes and #give themselves cool body modifications like horns or wings or something (like character creation!!!)#I JUST. ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEA IN MY HEAD I NEED A STUDIO TO COME PICK IT UP P L E A S E #bungie i am looking directly at you i know you'd do my vision justice #mine #hhhhng #the game is called the spider and the songbird btw and i'm going to rb this post with all the tags to my wip blog if #anyone is interested in seeing more. theres not much on there yet but there will be :):)

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female-eren · 10 months

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They never said Sherry thought she was pregnant with NEGAN's baby. They just showed her taking a pregnancy test. Dwight was still very much there. The fact you avoid real people's trauma in the name of fictional characters is gross though. You really are a disgusting human being and I hope you get all the karma in the world for mocking someone's real abuse in the name of a tv show character. You're a piece of crap that doesn't deserve the time of day.

Then don't give me the time of day

#her possibly being pregnant with negan's baby is the point of that scene. why would she react like that if it was dwight's. why would dwight #react the way he did.#why would he tell her 'it will be positive soon' like it's a good thing if it was his?#we see him trying to act like Sherry belongs to Negan and that it's a good thing several times. because he has no other choice.#he doesn't even sleep with her when negan gives him the chance.#sherry is disgusted and upset because she doesn't want to be pregnant with negan's baby in that scene. that's the point of the scene.

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inupibaldspot · 2 months

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Back off,kid.

Pairing : Gojo Satoru x Reader

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : (Teen)Gojo is jealous over (kid) Fushiguro having a crush on you.

Fushiguro Megumi always wonders if he made the right choice every time a white-haired sunglass wearing teenager walks into the house.

The tall older boy would grin as his hands form a salute. “You doing good Megumi and Tsumiki?”

He was as useful as the indoor plants. Fushiguro thought.

Gojo wasn’t much good at cooking and neither helped with cleaning, probably because of his rich background—but he did spoil them with lots of food and pocket money but he wouldn’t ever admit that.

As much as Fushiguro would love to throw insults at Gojo, he holds back his tongue each time; Tsumiki would send sharp glare and nag him if he did.

The first friend he brought to visit them was a girl; it was after Gojo went missing for a while and when Tsumiki inquired about it ,he simply said one of his dear friend went cray-cray as his finger twirls at the temple of his head.

The girl had short, brown hair with a distinct smell of cigarette; her name was Shoko Ieiri. She wore an impressed look when she entered the house as she looked over to Gojo. “Heh— The place is pretty neat,Gojo.”

Fushiguro looked to Gojo who placed some groceries on the counter top with a proud smile on his face. “I know right!” Gojo replies.

The young boy frowns. “It’s Tsumiki who keeps the place clean.” Shoko gives Gojo a stare before she cackles.

A week later when Tsumiki was still in school with club activities, another person makes an appearance ,you. He could faintly hear conversations between you and Gojo through the front door on how you’d actually wanted to visit them sooner but was bombarded with mission before it swings open.

The first thing Fushiguro noticed was how Gojo seemed to make you enter first— other times he barges in without a care for Shoko— his hands near your back with a slight space, without touching it. Why was Gojo being nice?

You blink at the dark haired boy. “Fushiguro Megumi, right?” Gojo peers from behind as you smile. “Did you eat?”

“Not yet. Waiting for Tsumiki to get home.” Fushiguro thinks you’re the first person who is kind of decent.

You nod take plastic bag from Gojo’s hands and lift up it, your smile widen. “I’ll make you some good stuff then.”

“I want to eat your cooking too,y/n.” Gojo chirps in only to be ignored. And to your credit, it was actually good. He didn’t remember the last time he had something this good home made.

After that, your visits seemed to increase which Fushiguro Megumi did not mind, in fact he was getting fond of your presence. You helped with food, cleaning which lessened the load on Tsumiki plus you also helped him with his studies.

“You seemed to get it now, Megumi.” Poor kid, blushes a bit hearing your compliment. “Practice this set of questions and I think you’ll do pretty well on your tests.” You smile.

Fushiguro nods as he does as you say, face still heated up. He looks up at you, who was reading a book. Your hair slightly in your face, lips slightly parted with eyes focused. You were extremely beautiful and as much as he wouldn’t admit it , he had a big fat kid crush on you.

“Megumi-chan.” Suddenly he is shoved to the side as a body makes way in between you and him. It was Gojo who sat in between. “Move over~ This seat is mine.”

The boy frowns and so did you, not liking Gojo’s action. “Don’t interrupt the kid, who is studying.” Kid? Ouch…You huff as your move over, despite you complaining you make space for him, focus back on your book.

Fushiguro watched as Gojo leans closer to you, almost resting his head on your neck as he looked over to your book; after a while eyes slowly moved over to you, his expression softens.

Gojo smiles as he tugs a piece of hair behind your hair, to which you don’t react as if it was normal. Thee older man then turns his head to Fushiguro—oops,he got caught staring.

The white haired boy then grins, a condescending one in fact as he mouths out the following words.

‘y/n-is-mine.” Fushiguro huffs. ‘back-off.”

·:*¨༺ Part 2༻¨*:·

Reblogs, like and comment are appreciated! Love this work? out other here

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo imagines #gojo imagine #gojo satoru imagine #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro imagine

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