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turbulentscrawl · 4 months

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Would you be willing to go more in depth to the nort/naib/reader poly group?

It's fine if you wanna do just sfw or sfw/nsfw head cannons

♪⁠(⁠┌⁠・⁠。⁠・⁠)⁠┌

I sure can 😏Spicy stuff under the cut~

SFW

-Norton and Naib are really good for one another in some ways…and really bad in others. They get along partially because they get what one another has been through—to be clear, they get it…but don’t understand it, which is where some issues come in. Naib doesn’t hold Norton’s personality flips or outbursts against him, but gets frustrated by Norton’s fear of hurting others during them. Norton is cool with Naib’s overbearing need to look out for ‘his’ people, but gets frustrated at his lack of self-preservation. They both have things they need to work on. I really like the idea of a triad with the reader being a 3rd partner who kind of bridges those remaining gaps. They all three help one another to know the other two on a deeper level.

-Naib and Norton are both protective, but have different methods. The usage of them depends on who out of the three of you is in trouble. Naib has an up-front, hands-on way of confronting issues left over from his military service. And Norton, on the other hand, was ganged up on for so long that he prefers to deal revenge under the radar. The issue is that together, especially when it’s you who’s been hurt or wronged, they’ll enable one another and do both. Norton is willing to get into a fistfight when Naib is there to be backup, and Naib is willing to help with Norton’s cruel schemes, and it’s just a mess.

-I have a specific scene in mind of some hot-headed survivor mouthing off at you, for whatever reason. Tensions are high, so Naib and Norton linger nearby. It doesn’t matter if the situation is your fault or not, the second that other survivor lays a threatening hand on you, they’re both up. Norton has longer reach, but Naib moves faster, so it’s a toss up who gets there first. The end result is the same, though: the offending party, hauled in by their shirt, socked solid in the face, and pinned to the ground with living embodiments of a “rock” and “hard place” looming overhead. To add salt to the wound, that person finds their matches to be especially difficult for a while after for some reason or another. How did no one know Jack owed Norton a favor from winning a card game?

-They both make a conscious effort to not leave you without an option for company, but it happens sometimes. They’re both used to lots of alone time, but when their duo becomes a trio they don’t want to assume it’s the same for you. So Norton tries not to isolate himself when Naib is busy, and vice versa, that way you can get some affection when you feel the need. That said…it happens sometimes. Try not to give them a hard time.

-“Dates” with the three of you are a bit of a grab-bag. Norton wants some extravagance for once in his life, so he really likes it when you and Niab go big for him. The awed expression on his face when he takes in a beautifully decorated dinner table in the bright, flower-filled sunroom is really something. Naib is far easier to please; he’s happy to do anything that involves food. If you accommodate their preferences, they make an effort to meet yours as well, regardless of however difficult they may be.

-Naib runs hot, like a compact space heater, but Norton runs a bit cold because he’s still building up his body fat. They also both like a good bedtime cuddle, so feel free to snuggle up to whichever one of them you need to regulate your temperature at night. Naib kicks off the blankets a lot, though, and Norton steals them, so expect all the sheets to migrate to one end of the bed throughout the night.

NSFW

-Norton really doesn’t like to take the role of a submissive/bottom, but that works out with Naib because he’s a switch. When Naib isn’t feeling up for being the bottom, they just engage as equals. (Basically, no penetration happens.) They’d probably like it if their third preferred to bottom, at least for these instances. You ever wanted to be spitroasted?

-Of course, sex doesn’t have to happen with them both. They’ll still have private time, just the two of them, as well as one-on-ones with you. A threesome is just too much work sometimes, honestly. But when you are all together they have a habit of making it into a competition. Norton and Naib tease and mouth off to one another a lot anyway, and it will carry into the bedroom…just sometimes they respond to insults with a really steamy kiss instead of a comeback. It’s pretty hot.

-Norton is an ever-so slightly more selfish lover than Naib. Neither of them are cruel, certainly, but when you’re all together it’s Naib who gives you those extra touches to help you along, while Norton is close and focused on himself. Ironically though, Norton is a little better with his hands than Naib.

-A third partner is also convenient because Naib has a bit of a thing for semi-public sex. It’s the thrill of almost being caught—or, in this trio’s case, actually being caught by the 3rd partner. He’ll run it by everyone first, but it really gets Naib off for one of to you walk in unexpectedly while he’s getting busy with the other. His bedroom door is left “conveniently” unlocked a lot of the time. No one else goes to see him besides you two anyway.

#idv x reader #identity v #norton campbell x reader #naib subedar x reader #norton x reader x naib #polyship #turbulentscrawl #spicy content

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bittersweetastoria · 11 months

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twas another rando idea, just to get some sad vibes off myself onto a character thus this happened.. didn't proof cause, heads in a bad spot and wouldn't catch anything anyways so i guess just, enjoy??

title/prompt; "what's the matter, pretty girl?"

Hands through dirty locks, head held in your hands, a heavily defeated sigh left your lips. The sea air was doing wonders for your ability to finally breathe again, after feeling like you couldn’t for hours now since the fight happened. You’d sat where you’d been left for ages, your family had left for food - giving up on getting you to function at all as they did. How you ended up out here by the ocean hours later, you weren’t sure. But you were thankful for the peace it gave you, the isolation you found in this little slice of sand off behind the hotel you all stayed at. Lost to the sound of the waves crashing before you, time and time again. Just barely out of your reach from where you sat in the sand, having not thought about a towel or anything.. Sand would be up in everything with how small your shorts were, but you didn’t have it in you to care.

“What’s the matter, pretty girl?” Head snapping up quickly, your blurry vision took in the Aussie before you. She sniffled before you even realized what you’d done, a little hiccup leaving your lips as you forced them into a fake sugary smile. “Nothing,” You lied, not wanting to rope her into listening to your sap story of fighting with your best friend yet again. It was truly a broken record. One even your family didn’t care about anymore. You two always got past it, and that’s what your family focused on. Not their daughter/sister falling apart cause of it before then. They weren’t willing to deal with you and your sadness. Why would anyone else?

Next thing you knew, you weren’t sitting alone. You could feel her presence before she even spoke up again. It was weird honestly. This little connection you felt with her, when you were barely even friends. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be friends. It was more of, she was this larger than life star - and someone your best friend couldn’t stand for whatever dumb reason she wouldn’t tell you. It was just, easier to keep your distance and not step into the true friendship zone - or beyond. Because truth be told, despite barely knowing her, you did have a crush on Rhea. Who couldn’t though? Just, look at her! While everyone obsessed over Mami, the darker made up persona she played. You found the beauty in her true self, in the woman below all the gothic stuff. Not that you’d ever say that out loud. “You’re a terrible liar.” The moment she spoke those words, your head snapped in her direction. The look of shock on your face, mouth agape as you went to protest and yet found no words. “Okay, fine. I lied. What of it?” You quipped, shaking your head as you watched her slide closer to you. All too easily, she slung her arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her frame. Should you? Probably not. But somehow you found yourself leaning into the muscular woman. Your breath exhaling softly as your eyes move from her to the wave, watching as they moved closer to the both of you. “What of it? Really y/n? That the best you got?” Rhea asked, clearly amused as she nudged your side. You laughed despite yourself, hiding behind your hair for a moment before she leaned forward to see your face. “Are you hiding from me, missy? Come on, just tell me. Do I gotta tickle it out of you or something? Cause I will.” Rhea spoke, causing you to laugh slightly.

It took you a moment, your lips pursed as you thought about it. Before you finally sighed, giving in to her requests. “Just the millionth fight with B.. It’s not a big deal. My emotions just like to over react.” You finally answer, sniffling a bit as you laughed despite yourself. Feeling your hair move, you look up to find Rhea tucking it behind your ear. Her hand lingering upon your cheek a little longer than needed as she watched you, a faint smile upon her lips. You could see her brows furrowed just slightly, a tell of her worry for you. It was confusing, given she had no reason at all to care about how you felt or what you were going through. “If you feel them, it’s not an overreaction.” She replied shortly after, her hand finally leaving your face though she continued to watch you closely. “Anything I can do to help love? Just name it.” She added quickly, causing her lips to twitch up at the corners for a moment.

“Just, sit with me?” You begin, your eyes locked on hers for a moment before ducking to the sand beneath you. Your hand ends up in it; digging the earth as your question sat heavy in the air while it settled in for her what you’d said. Without even answering, her tattooed hand slid through the sand to find yours. Once found, she held and squeezed your hand. “Of course.” Was the only answer she gave, as you both smiled at one another then turned your gazes to the ocean.

#rhea ripley imagine #rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley fanfic #rhea ripley fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #my writing

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naranjapetrificada · 11 months

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This is going to be long so the short version is this:

I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.

My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.

So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.

When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.

There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."

The grief.

The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).

It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.

Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.

But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?

Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.

And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.

And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?

And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.

Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.

I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.

#not to be dramatic #but I definitely worry this might still be dramatic #my therapist is great #but the problem with a good therapist #is that sometimes they will fucking read you #and then you get whiplash #don't be afraid to bring up media that speaks to you in therapy #you never know what might come of it #or how much it might shake you #I should also be clear that all this grief in a story with a happy ending isn't a bad thing #it just kind of is #and when you enjoy it #just enjoy it #every moment of joy is a gift #no matter the context #go ahead and grieve yourself #also I couldn't find an elegant way to fit this in #but the storytelling is very neurodivergent #or at least unfolds in a way that is friendly to my neurodivergence #that's why I'm not a big TV watcher anyway #but I was able to sit down and mainline this #it's the first new show I've watched in literal years #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #🤯🤯🤯#😳😳😳#disenfranchised loss

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bee-the-loser · 2 months

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₊ ⊹☼ Prologue - #808080 Grey ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: Heeseung x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: An introduction to reader's life growing up in grey-scale and how they found their love for art ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: College au, soulmate au, artist reader, colourblind reader ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 506 ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Mentions of death, connotations to self-harm and slight bullying. (Take care to put yourself first) ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: I'll probably post a little explanation of how the soulmate system works in this au, but it does take a backseat for a while to focus on other aspects. ₊ ⊹☼ Masterlist ☼⊹ ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Next ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────────────────

A greyscale world was all you had ever known, there was no vivid pops of colour, just the dulcet hues of light and dark. A sort of smoky look that made the whole world blend into one another and seem to go on for miles and miles. It wasn’t something you minded at first, not knowing any better as a young child, it was like living in an old-fashioned movie and you loved to take pleasure in the soft hues of some of the classics. It was comforting to know everyone could see them the same as you. The pictures moving across the screen and painting stories of romance and life. The slow dance of the decade done in the late foggy night.

However, things change and as you grew up the simple greys changed from clouds to storms and the fog that once encompassed your very being started to suffocate you. Breath didn’t come easily during those years. Things were different and you were different.

It became obvious in the ways whispers followed you around the corridors of school, with fingers pointing at your back and commenting on how unlucky you must be. How maybe you’ll even be so unlucky that you wouldn’t even be able to spot your soulmate link due to your condition.

Because that’s what it was to them, a condition. Achromatopsia. The diagnosis didn’t come as a shock to you but the aftermath scared you more than some word. It was something that left you isolated and alone as others finally had a reason for their hatred. They were so afraid that your unluckiness might somehow rub off on them too.

The greys no longer were slow dancing and fog, but instead were the storm clouds that accompanied your evening walks. The times where the blood dripping down your arms mixed with the pouring rain, leaving in your wake puddles of dismay. The grey of the silver blades that were your closest friend, accompanying your journey and the smoke that left you with one less parent, and sleepless nights.

The smoke that slipped through your fingertips and left behind ashes.

The months afterwards left you confused and more alone than ever, feeling for once like your vision almost reflected how you felt. Numb. You hadn’t been living freely for a while, but those days surviving felt almost impossible.

Solace ended up being found in a place you weren’t expecting at first. An empty sketchbook given by your therapist, where you inked out your monotone dreams and nightmares. It contained it all: the films, the slow dances, the whispers, the stares, the nights, the smoke, the fear, the smoke, the rage, the smoke…

But art allowed you to let go of it all, you could almost pick out these scenes in your brain and place them down to forget about for a while. You weren’t forgetting it all, you never would, but instead letting go became an easier process than before. The once ash covered fingertips made way for charcoal dusted hands.

#bee's writing #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff #enhypen au #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen heeseung #heeseung x reader #kim sunoo #enhypen imagines

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old-school-butch · 28 days

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Thank you for having anon on, you must get a lot of hate, but i'm a hidden recently deprogrammed ex-TIF and i appreciate being able to... confess to being a woman without being hung for it. i know that when i come out with this i will lose most of my friends because my detransition will "invalidate" them all. they will push me out so they can remain "gay men".

i wanted to ask what you think about ex-TIFs? and if you've seen how it plays out when we (re)integrate into womanhood, from the side of women. i've only seen it from the side of TRAs and it's an excommunication and violent rejection. i'm going to lose my community, and i have (since i started looking into it) fully agreed with most radfem core beliefs you see here on tumblr.

i took testosterone for years, but i also stopped in 2019 because it made me so angry. i have no breasts and a deepened voice. i wonder how radfems might see me. will i seem like a returned traitor?

will other women be interested in me still? i'm bisexual, but was pushed to mainly date men as a TIF because those relationships were "gay" and dating women was hetero and "lesser" love. i don't want to center men anymore. but i have no breasts, and i have no woman's voice. do women care? i don't know.

i ask you because you are older and maybe you would know. my best wishes to you. thank you.

I keep anon on for just this reason, because I remember how insane I felt when I found the courage to stop pushing aside those thoughts that, surely, everyone knows we're making all this up and just being nice, right?

It's an unfortunate part of human nature that it's easier to con someone than persuade them they've been conned. Once the con is taken up, it's agonizing to admit it and pull away from it. You have to live with the harms you've done along the way, which I admit to and which will eventually weigh on you as well. It's not easy, especially when your immediate friends will be harsh with you. If they don't cast you out, you might find yourself self-isolating to pre-emptively remove yourself and spare yourself the pain.

I'm not going to lie, you will encounter women who regard you as a traitor because they, themselves, have not come to terms with the harms they've done, or they've been lucky enough to not have been tested on this crucible and can't believe that anyone can be turned so upside down as we have.

However, you're not alone. I have no statistics but in meeting younger lesbians I'd guess at least 1 in 3 of them are detransitioners from varying stages of identifying as trans. If you are same-sex attracted or gender non-conforming in any way, today's society will digest that as 'trans?' and without saying a word you will find yourself being they/them without ever asking, and transition will be suggested if you suffer from so much as a bad period cramp or any frustration with your body. As women and as lesbians, we experience so much pain that society ignores, and the most powerful articulation of that anguish in our time is 'this can't be the body I'm meant to be in.' Like anorexia, dissociative identities, cutting and other expressions of female despair, we are permitted to lash out destructively as long as we bring down that rage on our own bodies. We continue to inhabit these scarred battlefields long after the fighting has moved on.

I guess the main thing to know is that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect that the 'part of my story where I was convinced I was trans' is going to be part of the coming-out pantheon for lesbians in the future that is as common as having a crush on a straight friend and have the talk with your parents. I don't think having breasts or a deeper voice will condemn you to loneliness, I don't think anyone can blame you for what's happening or being swept up in it. If they do, you can ask them why they didn't stop you, why their voices didn't reach you when you needed it most, and why - now that you've found your own way home with very little help from anyone around you - they aren't appreciating the courage and effort it took for you to find your way.

Welcome home, sister.

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choixiii · 2 years

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s/o having a hard time | txt

type: hurt to comfort, light angst, fluff

tw: eating disorder (Taehyun)

note: fighting if you’re struggling lately, I hope everyone will be fine asap. Regarding e/d, I am sorry but I don't feel comfortable doing it in a way when reader eats a lot, I hope you understand. I mean no offense to anyone.

m.list

Yeonjun would notice quickly that you were a bit down. You probably tend to turn him down when he offers to do something and prefer to stay at home. The fact that you tend to isolate yourself a bit more or cry easily - or at all. You two didn’t really hide things to each other, once one found out or realized, they usually went to the other. That’s exactly what Yeonjun did. He’ll go on with your mood swings, not taking it personally if you’re suddenly angry at him without apparent reasons.

As you were quietly reading on your phone, he lay behind you and held you close to his chest, your back resting against it. You didn’t really pay attention since he’s doing this a lot, so you didn’t let go of your phone and just appreciate the feeling of his fingers slowly drawing on your belly.

“Are you okay ?” The question caught you off guard, not really wanting to talk about it. You just nod, brushing it away quickly. That’s what you thought. Yeonjun behind you sighs with a done look on his face and skilfully takes your phone out of your hand. Turning you around before you could complain to him, he was now caging you in his arms. Resting his nose in your hair and his hands now stroking your back, the man asked something else. “Do you wanna talk about it ?”

“Not really…” you answered again, muffed in his shirt this time.

“You'll have to one day.” His words were a bit straight forward but he was right. Yet, he must be happy that his hug was making you feel better and safe or you probably would have told him to fck off. Instead your hands were grabbing his shirt, nuzzling yourself even more onto his chest.

“I know…" A sigh leaves Yeonjun's lips.

“At least let me be there for you, okay ?” mumble your boyfriend in your hair, making your heart skip a beat. You don’t let people come inside easily, but with him maybe it will be easier.

Soobin is the type to try having information regarding your state with cute, little, harmless questions. He’s tilting his head to the side and asking if you want to eat or watch a movie with him. He’s trying to cheer you up in fact, because he always feels sad when you are too. Being his empathic self, he’s easy to talk to and his aura makes you feel at ease when you have to talk to him.

You finding a way in his arms while he was playing wasn’t something uncommon, yet this time Soobin felt like he had to stop playing and pay attention to you. Finishing his round quickly, he left the controller to the side to hug you properly against him. Pulling the blanket next to the sofa to you two, he was inviting you to speak up now that you had everything to comfort you.

“You have a minute ?” you still asked, as if he hadn't just stopped everything he was doing to be there with you.

“I have all the time in the world for you,” he answered, kissing your hair. Thanks to that and his arms around you, you started to tell him all the things that didn’t go as well as you wanted and how people make you feel horrible about yourself. Some harsh words left your lips as your anger got the best of you, but that didn’t bother him. He wasn’t there to judge you or to watch your language, just to listen to you vent so you can stop bottling your emotions.

Even if, in the end, you’re usually a crying mess in his arms. He prefers you to be there than alone in your bed, keeping saying to yourself that you’re useless or incapable of doing anything. Having you close makes it easier to make you keep in mind how much he loves you. Soon whipping your tears with his big hands, he lets them cup your face before leaving a quick peck on your lips.

“Thank you, for speaking to me about it,” he said with a sweet smile, leaning his forehead against yours. “I love you.”

The fact that he just listened to you without having the urge to solve your problems makes you hug him closer. That wasn’t what you needed and, as always, he understood it so well that you couldn’t help but fall deeper in love.

“I love you too.”

Beomgyu will think he’s the problem. The fact that you push people away when you’re not doing good makes him doubt himself if he’s the right man for you. If this situation lasts a bit, it can push him into it too. He’s gonna overthink the situation and maybe even think it’s his fault. Yet, he still tried his best to make you feel better and be there for you when you need/accept it.

When you finally let him cuddle up against you one night, Beomgyu thought he would cry. He was worried to the core, scared that you’ll leave him because he couldn’t help you well and that’s why you didn’t want to see him. But your half-asleep self leans into his touch, putting your hand above his, resting on your belly.

“So we’re okay ?” he whispered, his head buried into your back. His eyes closed, he was patiently waiting for your answer as he held you close. You hummed in response.

“Sorry for worrying you Beomgyu, I’m just a bit down lately…” you confessed in your not so conscient state, but you didn’t mind. That was when you were the most honest.

“I noticed that but I feel like I can’t help you…” Beomgyu felt like crying while admitting that; He loved you to death but wasn’t even able to help you going through a little slump ? What kind of boyfriend was he ? You turned around at his words. Your brain awakened a bit now, and the fog wasn’t as blurry as before. His arms never left your waist but your hands got to his face, cupping it before leaving a sweet kiss on it.

“You’re here for me and respect my space, that’s more than enough,” you assured him, stroking his cheek. “It would be even worse without you I think.” You might seem like the one comforting him, but this has to be done for him to know that you love him and that the simple fact that he does too helps.

Beomgyu always made you feel better about yourself, and you’ll never thank him enough for making you feel like you deserve to be loved.

Taehyun notices something is wrong/ going bad again when you have trouble eating. He knows you’ve been through some shitty things regarding eating and he paid a lot of attention to it because of that. So, generally when you’re down or a bit weak mentally, it touches your eating habits as well. You might start to pay more attention to the calories or think hard if you can eat something or not. He makes sure to be there to help you without triggering you more.

Taehyun got home a bit late this night and was a bit worried about you. You didn’t answer his messages yet and, as much as you can just be captivated by your series, you can also be gloomy alone in your bed. First option was the good one though, since the TV was the first thing he heard while coming home.

“Hi baby,” he saluted you with a kiss on the cheek, catching you off guard but still making you smile. “Have you eaten yet ?”

“Have you ?” you asked, trying to change the subject. Taehyun realized it though and came up with the fact that no, you haven’t. He wasn’t really surprised, you hated cooking lately, and started to eat less again.

“No, not yet.” as you were about to get up to cook something, he pushed you down onto the sofa. “I’m gonna do something for both of us, you can stay here.”

You nod, not feeling the urge to protest since you really didn’t want to either cook or eat. But since he was doing it, you couldn’t turn him down.

Minutes later, Taehyun came back with a pot filled with ramen and some eggs in another one. It seems really good, Taehyun is great at doing ramen but you still felt bad about it. Swallowing hard, you took some on your plate - more than you could eat - and started eating while watching your drama to distract you. Not failing to thank him too. But soon, you couldn't eat anymore but felt bad about leaving some on your plate. Biting your lips, you were about to take another bite when Taehyun took your plate.

“You don’t have to eat more if you’re full, don’t worry,” he reassured while finishing your food for you. You hummed at his words, kinda feeling better to know that he would never force you - even if you already know it.

“You ate already, and I’m proud of you,” he kindly added while patting your head, making your heart flutter. Your eyes widened at his words and you quietly took place between his legs - making sure not to bother him as he’s still eating. You just wanted to be near him to thank you silently.

Huening Kai is broken too when you’re down. The fact that it’s hard to see you smile and hear your laugh affects him a lot since he loves it so much. However, he tries his best to get you out of this state, even if that means pushing you a bit. He knows you're gonna like to go outside at a café or play with him in the end. But there's some times where it doesn't help and he just has to comfort you.

School was harsh with you lately, and he couldn’t get you out of your apartment to do anything. He wasn’t blaming you, he knows how hard it can get, but you seemed to get glomier with time and he was pretty much sure that going out for little things could help.

“Hey, wanna go to the convenience store with me ?” Kai suddenly asked, sitting next to you on the bed. He got you out of your head for a second, turning to him with lost eyes as you didn’t hear him the first time.

“Wanna go to the convenience store?” he asked again with a little smile. With his jacket already in his hand, you thought he was kinda in a rush.

“No I'm fine, thank you.”

“Oh please ? We can get ice cream and that pink lemonade drink you love sooo much !”

His lips formed a pout, trying to convince you to come with him. Kai didn’t want to leave you alone, too scared that he’ll find you crying when he comes back. He just wants to spend time with you. So you agreed, getting up and ready pretty quickly. You have to admit that it sounds good, and going out for something other than your classes won’t hurt you. Plus it won’t last long.

You have to admit that taking some fresh air helps clear your mind a little. It’s been a while since the last time you got out for little groceries with Kai and it makes you feel better. His smile is contagious and he just makes you feel safe all the time - even if you hate being outside lately. With him it’s okay you guessed. He’s just so careful with you, you almost forget how much you hate it.

Getting out of the store, he opened your drink for you before you could stop him. You’re not gonna drink while walking because you wear a mask and don’t want to take it off.

“You don’t have to drink, don’t worry. I just wanted to do it for you,” he kindly says, giving you your drink. You thank him a lot, smiling behind your mask as you take the cold drink between your hands half covered by his hoodie’s sleeves.

It didn’t last long, but you were feeling a bit better now thanks to him. Sitting between his legs as you two get home, you lay your back against his chest to seek comfort. Kai couldn’t help but smile and hug you lightly.

“Thank you, Huening.”

“No problem baby.”

#txt x reader #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together x reader #yeonjun x reader #soobin x reader #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #huening kai x reader #yeonjun imagines #soobin imagines #beomguu imagines #taehyun imagines #kai imagines #txt x y/n #txt soobin #txt yeonjun #txt beomgyu #txt taehyun #txt huening kai

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spnandtvdudeservedbetter · 2 years

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Until the Light Comes Back

Kol mikaelson x reader

TW: mentions depression, self isolation used as a coping mechanism.

Some days were good for her, she could get through it. Go to school, do her homework and even make it to bed on time. And then it would hit. The sadness would crash in like it had no problem ruining what dam she built up.

Today was one of those days she had been avoiding her best friend; Kol Mikaelson for a good week or so now. Not messaging or calling him back, not even wanting to talk or let alone have him around. Yes, she did love him but still his usual cheeky behavior was exhausting to even think about.

So as the week went on, she moped around her house, struggling to even lift herself from the bed and into the bathroom, her body felt cold and numb no matter how many times she put on her oversized hoodie. She continued to neglect herself, barely cooking herself a good enough dinner to keep her going, she had always stuck to the basics of meals, she never was much good of a cook but she could get by with her baking.

Even though she tried to avoid the stillness inside, the ache of her heart, she still felt alone and she wanted him, as pathetic as that made her feel to even admit she wanted her best friend. But still, she pushed that down and went on through her day.

Kol on the other hand, was worried senseless, his family was the most hated and he knew they had enemies. He spent his day pacing back and forth in his room thinking, “what if she’s been killed? Or taken? “ he quickly made his mind up and grabbed his keys to go to his best friends house.

When he got there, he could sense her, not only because he was a vampire but for a reason even he of all people couldn’t explain. He walked up the steps to her front door and rang the bell, at the tone; her dog began barking, making her heart skip a beat, “shh you scared me!” She said stomping over to her dog who sat at the door.

As she walked over she caught a glimpse of her best friend through the window on the door.

She hurriedly opened it, “Kol?”

“Are you alright, darling?”

She sighed, hesitant to even speak another word.

But he knew the answer to his question and walked into her house to pull her into a hug.

She turned away for a second to check if the door was closed and locked, but Kol had already taken care of it. She pulled him back in.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been really hard for me the last few days and I just don’t know why I’m like this.” She spoke after many moments of content silence.

“I was worried about you, you never returned any of my messages or calls, do you even know what I’d have done if something happened to you?” Kol spoke, softly pushing her away to look into her eyes.

She nods her head “no”.

“I would never forgive myself for letting you fall, I need you here and I know that the days feel so long and the nights seem longer than a century. I know. But I need you to stay with me, that’s all I need.”

“Why?” She looks up, tears begging to be let out.

“Because you’re my everything, darling and I promise to sit with you in the darkness until the light comes back.”

“I’m not supposed to feel like this still, it’s been years. I should be over it.”

“Healing doesn’t have a timeline, it happens over time.”

“ I feel like I’m running out of time, everyday it's the same thing, same feelings, same anger. And I’m so so tired of it.” She says, tears inevitably bursting through the floodgates.

“I know, trust me I know, y/n.”

“I- I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I'm so tired of being “strong” and I just want to be weak.”

“Succumbing to that will only drive you deeper, you are allowed to break down, you’re allowed to feel the things you do. But I won’t let you sit in them.”

“Kol. You’re a vampire, you can shut it off.”

“It may be easier for me in that sense but that doesn’t mean I don’t relate to your pain any less.”

“You’re not alone.” He says, breaking from the hug and grabbing her hands.

“I feel like I am, can you just hold me?”

“Of course.”

They walked to her couch, and he wrapped his arms around her body, she melted into him, willingly letting the walls break down in his grasp.

She sniffled and cried into his shoulder, desperately trying to get every inkling of pain out of her body.

He held her strong, making sure she felt safe.

“Do you know how much I’ve needed you?” She says against his chest.

“I’ve felt this need for you since the day we met, you’ve made me feel so much more than I’ve ever felt for another person. “

“I know, Y/N I’ve felt drawn to you too, since day one.”

She sits up,turning to face him “really?”

“Yes, darling.” He gently pulls her back into his arms, kissing her forehead.

“And I will sit with you until the light comes back.” He whispers gently,tracing lines down her back.

#kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson #kol mikealson x you #kol mikaelson x you #the originals #the vampire diaries #Jess's works #jess’ works

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smimon · 3 months

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The other promised personal post, this one about my self-discovery that I completed last year and in the result gained a weirdly powerful feel, like when Eragon found his true name if you know what I mean

Three main paths: art, brain training, isolation.

1. Art

Art was something I always loved, of course all kids do art but I never stopped. I kept making up characters and settings and stories and theme songs and game designs. I did my first zine at like 6 years old lol.

Living in capitalism meant that the most attractive stories were beyond my reach for financial reasons, so out of disappointment I decided to start telling my own stories, as if that was hard. This was all very early in my life and I believe I was always meant to be an artist and storyteller, and the skills I gained only helped me later.

Like when things started to get more difficult around middle school. When family started demanding and gave nothing back anymore. When the only protector I had left me alone to pursue a career, repeating that if they can handle it, I can too - but I was still a child.

When it was forbidden to talk, feel and hurt, I kept creating. Losing myself in fiction, which years later turned out to be much less fictional than it seemed. Most of my writing was about myself this whole time. I was scared someone might find out so I concealed the message so deep that I alone couldn't see it anymore.

And new stories kept coming, I kept drawing, the XP I gained brought improvement. Never completing anything but always creating something new, finding endless joy in rotating the blorbos in my head. And this continues until today.

Many many times I had doubts if it's all worth anything, a devil telling me I should drop art. And always some inner force pushing me back to the drawing desk. So many times I had to ask myself the question: why do I keep making art? And finally, very recently, I have found the answer.

I am an artist. Artists make art. It's that simple.

2. Brain training

Similar to other body parts, brain can be trained. Solving puzzles, finding patterns, learning, math, there are many ways.

For me it was trying to understand my family.

Recognizing patterns level hard. Predicting what will happen. Inventing ways to protect myself. Teaching myself to do things no one would explain to me but everyone demanded me to know.

School was easy compared to this. Studying gave results in a short term, sometimes it was even fun. Teachers noticed and behaved as if it was their success. Other kids' parents noticed and started bullying their children to get the same results, because if I can do it, why can't they? They were not abusive enough to trigger a similar mechanism, but abusive enough to make their children hate me.

But I haven't noticed. I had a few friends and did not even notice everyone else was against me. This was my elementary and middle school, and then at high school the level was much more even so I could be more invisible.

All the time I tried to figure out my family, and they kept surprising me. All the time I could get good grades, and felt like this is the only thing I am good at.

But as Master's degree approached, I had to accept this can't continue forever, that I am not smart enough to get a PhD. That after graduating I will have to start a job, live a normal life, do things I never learned. I was sure I will die within months, but hey, it's been years already and it only gets easier!

My true victory came just a few years after. I have finally realized there is no way to understand my family because they are simply irrational.

That's it! I am free now! High-fiving all the mathematicians who proved a problem to be unsolvable because hey, that's an accomplishment too!!!

3. Isolation

Introverted by nature, I don't like to spend too much time with people, especially the same people over and over again. Especially my family. Three days is my limit.

And I was tied to them all my life. So when I finally moved out, the sudden experience of freedom overwhelmed me. I did not want to give it away until I get saturated with how good it feels to be alone. Also, gaining distance feom my abusers allowed healing to start. But before that, long hours of remembering and understanding and grieving. Gaining courage to finally meet myself, discover who I am. Forget who I was supposed to be. A journey of self-discovery that brought peace and hope and skill and confidence.

But I am still human. Humans are social animals. I need some contact every now or then or I go insane.

For a few years, I used pokemon go. Going to raid hour every week. But everyone was busy playing so the contact was very shallow.

I started going to fandom conventions trying to relive the same kind of wonder I felt as a teenager. It is different this time, of course. I got used to the fun parts. Nothing seems as impressive as earlier. But even then, I felt like this is my place, and my kind if people. I only needed a way to connect.

Then Käärijä happened, of course. Suddenly I had a thought: the biggest fandom convention in the country doesn't have much to offer for me, but maybe I can do something crazy, maybe I can make this event a bit more me-friendly. I returned to fb after years of break to ask on groups if there are any Käärijä fans willing to meet up.

And they were. It only gets crazier from there.

I started talking to some of them. One suggested a Frank fanclub because we all had some Frank gadgets. I designed a sticker. I designed another one. I organized three meetups, day after day. People came. I made friends. A group chat was founded. Was it me who did it?

Then another crazy idea. Make more stickers. Repeat this at other conventions. And so my convention tour started. With many many stickers.

And then I start a daily Käärijä sketchbook. And then I find friends through the stickers. And then I find friends throught the art. And then the friends warm my heart and break it open and put a foot inside so it doesn't close back too soon.

And I realize I am not alone.

Okay?

So I am an artist, I stubbornly forced my way through my early years and ended up with a pretty cool job, and now I get just enough money and independence to decide how to spend time with people who are in general pretty amazing after all ✌️ still no idea what I want next but I am really happy I made it to here

#diary post #vent post #yeah it's. it's all connected #my biggest accomplishment is figuring it all out #truth does hurt but in the end gives freedom #semira origin story

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silentspectres · 7 months

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You mentioned Gale Wyll and Karlach having a positive influence on Mercury, would you elaborate? I am very normal about Gale

That's so fair, I have a friend who is also very normal about Gale (he constantly tells me about his need to relentlessly bully him <affectionate> + I am genuinely surprised how much he grew on me too)

thank you once again for being interested in my strange tiefling, by the way!! I love getting the chance to talk about Mercury

I wrote more than I intended so everything's under a read more!

For some background context: Mercury didn't do relationships of any kind before the events of BG3. They maybe held some people close when they were younger, but after a rather striking betrayal they suffered from, they cut people out. As a young rogue who was quickly getting used to underhanded tactics, this was easy for them to maintain, especially since things were much easier to do while fully anonymous (masked + cloaked) and solo. This habit carried over post-tadpole and it took several days once the full group of companions were gathered in camp for any single one of them to even know Mercury's name, which Mercury only offered up because they had previously made a deal with Shadowheart whenever they met again on the beach post crash. (I do have more context for this I can share sometime)

Mercury's isolationist attitude and well-guarded nature played a huge part in their early dynamics with everyone in camp. They kept to themself and humored the people they were traveling with (choosing to help them with their problems) only because they were smart enough to realize dealing with a mindflayer tadpole alone would be tantamount to death. It was well into late late act 1/ early act 2 before Mercury came around to actually caring about anyone in camp, and even though they had people who would freely call them "friend" by that point, they still kept their distance and mostly sat alone from the rest. (The isolated overlook in the camp at the mountain pass was a favorite spot of theirs) At this point, I think they spent a lot of nights reflecting on how they got tangled up in being involved with people again and being just generally upset that they actually care to have a stake in these people's lives and issues. It was difficult to grapple with the idea of accepting vulnerability in the form of caring about others and being cared about in return, especially because the main reason Mercury stayed away from interpersonal relationships was because relationships are messy and complicated and they invite the possibility in of being hurt. Trusting is not something that comes easy to Mercury, but they learn to exercise it.

So, Wyll, Karlach, and Gale were the largest contributing factors to getting Mercury to that point. I don't think any of them realized the effect they were having on Mercury (at least not the extent of it), especially since early on Mercury never spoke more than they had to and didn't even join the group at large around the fire whenever dinner was made more than half the time. They have darkvision - they're perfectly content to eat alone somewhere the fire isn't shining on them. Gale (resident camp cook) was never going to let them go without eating, though, so I imagine he tried to keep an eye on them whenever they did not join the group for food

And in general, it was little touches and nudges like that that softened Mercury. It's something that happened so gradually they didn't even consciously clock it as happening, otherwise they would've reinforced their walls and made more of an effort to keep others out. On an individual level, Wyll, Karlach, and Gale each offered something different that Mercury - ever the mirror they are, albeit one shattered and stained in crimson along the broken edges - ended up reflecting back.

Wyll struck a particular first impression with Mercury as they met him while he was play sparring with a tiefling child in an effort to teach him something of self-defense. Mercury encouraged the kid and treated Wyll with respect - not suspicion or coldness - pretty much immediately out the gate. They were more reluctant to hear him out about his father since they have a complicated history with the city and definitely had a harder time giving him the time of day about some of his heroic tales, but it never really stopped Wyll from treating Mercury as an equal or even favorably, and the turning point of their relationship (which could've definitely broken the tentative trust forever) was whenever Wyll confronted Karlach. Wyll chose to stand up for his principles - helping those in need, protecting those who are vulnerable - even in the face of losing his soul for it, and that left quite the impression on Mercury in the long run, especially because Wyll faced Mizora for a tiefling who clearly wasn't what she had been made out to be. Mercury needed a good role model like Wyll a lot sooner, honestly, but seeing that someone out there was still willing to fight for what they believe to be worth protecting in the world directly challenged Mercury's apathy toward others and set them down the path of wondering if things could be different than how their life had ended up becoming, if they just tried again

Karlach's influence is a lot easier and more straightforward. She didn't really do any one thing per se - she just was. She's loud and friendly and cares so much! All the time! She took one look at Mercury, asked, "Is someone going to be their friend?", and didn't wait for an answer. Their dynamic definitely feels like an older, tired cat (Mercury) begrudgingly putting up with an energetic kitten (Karlach). Her sincerity and the way that she lives completely differently than Mercury (to the fullest vs barely living at all, especially when you know the further context that Mercury absolutely didn't even want to be alive anymore during the first two and a half acts) wore down Mercury's defenses over time. She became one of Mercury's traveling companions at first out of necessity (between two rogues and a wizard, someone had to be the brawn), but she's as radiant as the sun itself and definitely made the trips more enjoyable. She definitely pushed boundaries the hardest, I feel, because she constantly tried to keep Mercury included, and her constant pressure to rope them back into group activities and mindlessly including them in conversation is 100% the reason they eventually started coming around willingly. It's like when you introduce a new cat to a household and have to have them sniff the other cats through a door, except with a strangle little tiefling who for some reason kept eating alone in the dark and is really good at pissing off gods.

This next part about Gale might be needlessly long and I'm so sorry about that, but he is, bizarrely, the catalyst of what finally broke down Mercury's resistance to being actually involved with anyone, and honestly he came to be who Mercury would consider their first friend of the group. (Friend in the sense Mercury returned the sentiment; Karlach's friendship was one-sided until Mercury finally warmed up to her fully and Astarion doesn't count because he + Mercury decided they just. couldn't be normal with each other for so long)

What sets Gale apart in particular is that he is extremely earnest. Mercury was off-put by him for a long time for a variety of reasons (found him in a rock, he speaks so much and is So weird about it, he is direct and honest) and to be completely honest, he was the companion Mercury trusted the least due to the fact he was so open and honest about things. Early on, Gale was by far the person who was the most talkative with Mercury and was the first to ever directly approach them for something, even if it was to cryptically tell them that he desperately needed to absorb magic from artefacts they find. Mercury obliged, tried not to ask too many questions, and somehow hours later they found themself still in conversation with Gale about one thing or another. I'm only slightly exaggerating - a lot of their early dynamic was Gale deciding he absolutely needed to tell Mercury something immediately and Mercury stood there listening to him speak, wondering why they're still listening and why he's telling them about how he fucked a goddess (which they think was a horrible idea + situation), and wishing he'd stop telling them about any new random topic of conversation that popped into his head. They thought he was so strange (as if Mercury isn't) and they didn't understand why he was so insistent to tell them virtually everything about himself, but yet they did always end up listening to him about it. This coupled with Mercury's distrust toward him for how earnestly he spoke about matters and his own feelings meant Mercury especially kept him at a distance - they humored him because it was easier than avoiding him, but they absolutely did not want to be dragged into his whole mess. And yet-

So, at this rate, in the transition of going into act 2 (the mountain pass/the underdark), not only had the party started to get along and grow closer with each other, but all the little influences of Gale actively seeking Mercury out as a conversation partner, Karlach making sure Mercury was included and treated with the same warmness and kindness as she did any of the others with no hesitation to the matter, Wyll providing insight to a way of living for others Mercury had never humored, Astarion starting to just barely come out of his shell (causing Mercury to start to realize he's genuinely really fun), and the others (Lae'zel/Shadowheart) starting to relax, too, in this group dynamic that is so foreign to them, had set Mercury firmly in the position of being comfortable. And they hadn't realized that, yet. That realization came later, when the first major crisis posed to one of Mercury's party members presented itself in the form of a wizened, old wizard: Elminster.

This is why Gale became the catalyst of Mercury realizing they had let themself become comfortable and start caring. Elminster showed up to send Gale a message from the goddess of magic herself - the very same goddess Mercury can't help but think has always taken advantage of Gale, regardless of if he does or even can see it that way - that said "you will be forgiven if you kill yourself for me." Mercury has always had an issue with the gods (for reasons I haven't quite pinpointed yet), and it genuinely upset them that a goddess would offer a convenient 'solution' to multiple issues she could solve herself if she really cared to, all the while masking punishment behind forgiveness, and Gale just accepting it like it's not only normal but the correct thing to do. It was the first time Mercury had felt protective over someone in a long time, which is something they didn't even know they had it in them to feel anymore, especially after years and years of survival instinct dictating that they must care about themself above all else. This, coupled with Karlach leveling with Mercury she's not so sure she'll make it because her engine has been actively getting worse, as well as Mercury realizing their previous discomfort over learning what Astarion's scars said didn't make them uncomfortable just because it read like an infernal pact, but rather because they actually personally cared about the position it put Astarion in, leads to Mercury having a looooong couple of days where they have to grapple with the fact they've gotten themself way in over their head and there's just no turning back now. At least they had plenty wine to keep them company.

I hope this sufficiently answers your question! I uh. didn't mean to write a whole essay, but I think about my character's motivations and growth over the story constantly and I'm always more than happy to ramble to anyone who wants to hear it!

Also as a bonus because you are normal about Gale, the awkwardness of Mercury not knowing how to deal with Gale early on (act 1 - early act 2) was only intensified later when Mercury realized Gale had fallen in love with them at some point? They had to sit down with him and level with him 1) that they would never be with someone romantically (that wasn't a lie at the time, they were genuinely blindsided by falling in love with Astarion) 2) please find someone who deserves you 3) have better taste and I think about that constantly because there's something so funny to me about Gale looking at Mercury, who is an absolute disaster of a person who can barely function socially, and deciding "yeah I'm into that"

#bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 spoilers #answered #rhubarbtonapalooza #my ocs #bg3: mercury #mercury is getting their own tag now as a treat #silent speaks #also I am so so sorry I wrote like 2000 words but this is something I have thought about extensively #also if you read my tags I'm vaguely curious what got you thinking about mercury + the squad a week later #I'm for sure flattered I love Mercury a lot and I would talk about them 24/7 if asked more about them

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themswritinwords · 7 months

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The Hundred Fifty Seven Deaths of the Immortal Ethan Ellis: Cast profiles: Ethan Ellis

The man himself (Ethan) - he/him; 24 years old biologically, 310 years old chronologically; Quietly Depressed Optimist in Desperate Need of a Hug and a Nap

Depressed, traumatized, self-sacrificial, dysfunctional, exhausted--what's not to relate to love?

Just woke up during his own autopsy. That's definitely not going to unearth any poorly-buried Issues!

What do you mean endless gallows humor and self deprecation aren't healthy coping mechanisms?

*slaps bruised and blood-stained noggin* This bad boy can fit so much mental illness and metaphor in him.

The result of a necromancer-wannabe's attempts at immortality; ex-human-guinea-pig with all of the attendant moral, philosophical, and psychological conundrums that come with death being a temporary condition.

One of three "successful" experiments. The other two adjusted pretty well, all things considered. Ethan did not.

Alas, they didn't have therapy in colonial America. You know what they did have, though? An abundance of dangerous life paths and causes worth dying for. That's not gonna reinforce any dangerous thought patterns or unhealthy mental states, I'm sure!

Longest streak between deaths has been just shy of 4 years. All but one of them has been his own dang fault. He is fully aware of this, but in a deeper sense, he is entirely unaware of this.

Always cared more about others than himself. This got infinitely worse when he realized he could die without consequences (supposedly).

Animals hate him! and no that is not just the start of a clickbait article. Every animal he's met since getting immortal'd has tried to put him back in the ground. He used to be a cat person, though.

Chronically friendless and self-isolated. People don't handle the dead guy coming back to life very well, and he's gotten more than one witness in life-ruining trouble by reviving in front of them. He finds it easier to just stay away from people on all but a surface level. (Again, I can't imagine that's going to cause problems down the line....)

Travels like an overripe peach, which is to say he is the King of Motion Sickness

Repeated resurrection has turned the man into a caloric dumpster. Over the course of a day and a half he consumes ~30 chicken nuggets, four burgers, a large fry, a medium bag of chips, a popsicle, and half a cup of ice and he's still desperately hungry.

Flip flops between annoying little brother energy and annoyed big brother energy depending on who he's arguing with at the time.

Wants: Everyone and Everything to leave him tf alone (also a shower)

Needs: One good reason to live and way fewer reasons to get himself killed

Immediate goals: Keep his only friends from getting dragged down with him and all his issues

Long term goals: None, and that's rather the point (not that this is a recurring theme in my characters or anything....)

Character arc can best be described as: that quote that's like "Dying is easy, living is hard;" the shift from hope, caring, and love as passive traits to hope, caring, and love as active choices worth making

Favorite things about writing him

The Catharsis. There's a reason so many of my OCs end up with mental illnesses and unhealthy patterns of thought. Ethan is just the most explicit of these self-inserts.

The snarcasm and humor were both challenging and so fun. I'm not a witty person by nature, so it took a bit of perspective shift to get right. I think I got better a dialogue overall by writing him.

He's a very internal and thought-ful person, and it was an interesting balance to write. He always thinks more than he says and feels more than he thinks.

Not to toot my own horn, but his third act breakdown and "Oh Sh*t" moment were a delight to write and some of my strongest writing moments.

His voice is very informal and sarcastic, and it was fun to write genuine horror in a goofball, this-might-as-well-happen sort of way.

#writing #original writing #original character #oc #ethan ellis #my writing #creative writing #novel manuscript #writeblr #thfsdotiee

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artekai · 9 months

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Wow, they weren't kidding. Those nightmares can really hit you in your fears and anxieties

Vent under cut (if you read you have to promise not to judge and not to let it affect your perception of me)

I just dreamt that one of my friends texted me something along the lines of "Hey, I need to level with you. I found a romantic partner, and while this hasn't happened before, they fulfill all of my needs so let's not talk anymore" so basically just telling me they didn't need me anymore because they had a partner now so I should stop talking to them. And I know it sounds stupid and like it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things (it's certainly far from the worst I've had), but fuck has it been hard not to be afraid I'm gonna be left alone lately, and my brain just had to spell it out for me. I swear my heart physically hurt when I woke up lmfao, that's how bad it scared me.

I have to imagine it would be easier to deal with the actual, concrete, physical problems I have irl if I weren't also constantly anxious about losing everyone I care about. I'm a terrible friend so I don't see why they shouldn't get tired of me soon and move onto someone better. I know at least they deserve better. And what else do I have going for me if not my friends? They're the only reason I'm still sane. Fml.

I hate that I'm like this. I hate that it genuinely scares me to the point of making me feel physically sick. I've been getting the urge to self isolate again - granted, I've been busy and exhausted so that also makes it harder to socialize - but a part of me still can't help but feel like it would be easier to take it into my own hands, to strike first so it doesn't catch me by surprise. It's my fault that I'm afraid to lose anyone, anyway, for daring to let myself get close to them in the first place. But it always feels so good at first, doesn't it? I always get carried away by that feeling, even knowing what's inevitably coming, sooner or later.

I can't help but think I'm a horrible person for thinking that way, too. I literally come here and publicly display red flags every other day lmao. So I don't understand how my friends still think I'm worth being friends with. Why they didn't jump ship early on like the ones who did. They were right. I'm not worth the risk. I really aren't.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but there is something really wrong going on deep inside, and I really do feel it every day. No matter what I do I'm gonna end up hurting someone I really care about, either by pushing them away or pulling them in close, and I'm not sure which possibility scares me more. I should've stayed alone when I had the chance. It's not fair of me to drag others down with me - to drag really good people who don't deserve it down with me. Just because being alone was starting to hurt me. How selfish, isn't it? It was downright stupid to think I could do things right this time. I don't think I really believed it, I just wanted an excuse.

I really do hate myself a lot. I hate this is how I am, and how I feel, and how I think. I just wanna curl up and cry and forget there is a world outside of me at all. What I've really needed for a while is a shoulder to cry on. But when I try to open up to someone it feels like they jump straight to offering advice or trying to cheer me up or just get uncomfortable and change the topic, and, if they don't, I feel pressured to wrap it up quickly so as to not burden them too much. So how am I expected to open up when it feels like I'm not welcome to do so in my own terms? I'm so sick and tired of bottling shit up. I just want to let things suck sometimes. Because they suck and it's exhausting to pretend it doesn't affect me.

Sigh. I really do just need to break down in someone's arms. But really I just wanna lay down and die. Fml.

#vent #personal #negative #delete later #passively suicidal thoughts cw i guess

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lovehours · 1 year

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one day we’re gonna have a serious conversation about how misinterpreted daria, the literal main character of the show that’s named after her is. she’s either girlbossified or hated but neither are for the right reasons imo

daria’s not someone who hates everyone and everything, she’s someone who cares deeply about issues. she’s disappointed in the idiocy around her and how the adults in power who can solve these issues don’t do much out of corruption (ms. li) or are idiots themselves.

behind the sarcastic front that daria puts up shows a person who’s afraid to be alone and is afraid of being hated if she put her best effort in, making her not put any effort to reach out to others at all (“and im so defensive that i actively work to make people dislike me so i won’t feel bad when they do”). it’s someone who’s actually self depreciative and hypercritical of herself. despite her criticisms of everything around her, daria is deeply insecure of her talents, her appearance, and her ability to connect with other people.

this is why boxing daria is such an important episode to not only her but the show. daria was someone who was constantly isolated and bullied for being different, and it stuck with her. back then she DID put an effort in, and all it did was get her shunned and mocked. when she puts effort in to connect with others in the show (episodes like the new kid or the old and the beautiful come to mind) she’s abandoned or not wanted, reaffirming the pushing everyone away mentality that she’s had for so long. for daria, it’s easier for her not to get hurt if she has no one around.

but a huge part of the show is confronting this idea, the front that she puts up. the idea that daria is completely antisocial is denied by the show itself (her mother saying that her antisocial mask isn’t real, but if she keeps isolating herself it will become real in iify). having her acknowledge that she does want some form of connection with people, even if it’s not necessarily her classmates. it’s learning to appreciate those around her even if they don’t completely understand her because they love her (and realizing that she wants to have her family around her despite their flaws/that she wants to be loved by someone). it’s learning that the attitude she has to cope will only hurt her in the end.

so she grows. she acknowledges her mistakes and the fact that she isn’t always right. she realizes that her worldview is actually quite small because she’s only a teenager and she still has a lot to learn. she reaches out to children who she believes may suffer the same fate she did growing up. she stands up for classmates who she may not respect, but she feels that are being exploited. she begins to expand her worldview and grows closer to quinn who once represented every problem she had with being a teenager. she starts to allow people into the bubble few could enter. she starts to show how much she truly cares about things, getting out of her comfort zone by submitting her work that she’s passionate about to newspapers. but people still like to act like she has no interest in anything at all and just doesn’t care.

daria is a teenage girl. an incredibly flawed teenage girl, but a teenage girl nonetheless. one who we see grow massively over the course of five seasons and it’s annoying to see people treat her growth as if it didn’t exist. if you sit here and try and tell me daria is the same person from esteemsters to is it college yet you need to rewatch LOL. and it’s just so tiring to see her mischaracterized so often despite her arc being so clear

#daria #long post #idk if this is coherent but. well #got a dumbass comment on tiktok and had to just get this out somewhere that isn’t my twitter

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chrisevansdaughter · 2 years

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Hi darling,

I have a request. So basically Chris Evans x Teen!Reader where they are cast mates. Teen!Reader has a chronic illness and Chris helps her. She also developed depression due to the pain. I have depression caused by Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. You don’t have to use EDS though.

I hope you are doing alright x

Elle

Low on spoons

Summary: On set Chris as y/n’s 'father figure' she is struggling with a chronic flare up day so Chris steps in to help as always because he knows how depressed it makes her feel

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Warnings of feeding tubes, medical equipment, chronic illness, anxiety, family abandonment?, depression mentioned, burden

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Paring: Chris Evans x Teen! Reader

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Y/n's POV

It was another day on set whilst filming the third Captain America movie: Captain America Civil War. Today started a bit different to any other day on set since I have a chronic illness, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that affects my eating and getting the nutrients and hydration I need to be healthy to still be able to work in a job I wouldn't change for the world. Among joint pain, dislocations, fatigue and dizziness are the biggest symptoms I have to deal with.

Unfortunately, the only way we can guarantee that I'm still healthy to work is that my doctor to place a feeding tube that goes into my stomach that can deliver everything I need; which was the last resort due to recent flareups.

So it was one of those days where I had less energy than usual, my joints were on fire so I had to use splints to ease some of the pain that I had, coupled with the mass amount of dizziness that was happening that was disorientating; and it showed because of this flare up I had to take it really slow on set but was more chilled than usual for good reason which I was thankful for.

—————————-

I was meeting everyone on set to start little shoots we needed to do for certain scenes so I had Chris come help me set up everything I needed for today since it was 'less energy day' today as I'd like to call it. The only downside other than the tube keeps me healthy is I'm really self-conscious about everything that comes with my chronic illness, even though everyone is used to it; Chris more than anyone because he is like a dad to me helping me though it even when it leaves me depressed or just really low on everything. Still just with the added support he helps massively because I don't feel alone and isolated with this massive weight on my shoulders - Chris as a fatherly figure helped elevates some of my heartaches, he makes me happy in the darker times that no one talks about when you're young having a chronic illness, especially in this industry; people admire me for what I do for people like me and how I've bought diversity to all movies I'm in.

Chris' POV

Today was one of Y/n's lesser energy days as she called where she just needed a little bit more help because of her flare-up with her chronic illness which was not the best watch and try to help her through when she's so down and anxious about everything from being self-conscious about what she looks like with the medical equipment she'd need to use on these days or just in general.

But she knows everyone is there to help her and doesn't bat an eyelid or look at her weird because of it.

Chris was coming out of the trailer bathroom since we shared on set as it was 10x easier for days like this, to come and help me get ready to go on to set.

Currently, she was getting all her meds ready to put through her tube with the water flushes for afterwards, with the braces she'd needed for today as well, there is so much care put into this but we all know it's what's the best for her right now rather than being in the hospital.

"Honey, you doing okay?" I asked whilst coming in to set up her feeds for today

"I'm tired but okay, for now, I've done all my meds I just need to chill because I feel a bit dizzy and sick" she replied sitting down sounding out of breath

"Lay down it might help, I'll get you some anti-nausea medicine sweetpea." I said after she whispered a small thank you whilst sitting next to Dodger who was keeping you company after Chris helped set up your feed.

Y/n's POV

I had made it out of bed with a great struggle I just knew today wasn't a good day with my health issues so Chris was always there to help or just comfort me because it was physically and emotionally draining for me.

I was on my first feed of the day after meds, honestly, sometimes I feel like I could do it with my eyes closed I've dealt with it for so long that I feel like a burden.

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Chris' POV:

Y/n was laying down slightly since she mentioned she felt sick and dizzy which was once again a common thing for her. It's hard to see her like this but I know she's strong.

"Bubs you okay, feeling a bit better now?" I asked after 30 minutes after setting up her feed and giving her the medication she needed.

"Yeah Chrissie I'm okay now, I think I'm ready to go to set if everything's done." She replied wanted to leave everything in the trailer since she was self-conscious of all the medical supplies she needed so she was adamant that everything needed to be finished before we left even though no one mind on set with all the medical stuff. Everyone was aware of her condition but no one minded, they helped when she need it and comforted her too.

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****TIME SKIP****

Y/n's POV

We'd been on set for about 5 hours now and I had been on a couple of breaks to pace myself since I wasn't 100 % still.

I had to put more of my meds down my tube since they had to be taken at certain times, not only that because my joints were definitely due to pop out I could just feel it, but I went off to the comfy area to do that because I was still scared of what everyone would think.

It was almost time for another feed but I couldn't go back to the trailer and do it because Chris wasn't free till lunch so I'd have to do it whilst they were all eating because I need someone with me just in case anything happens.

This makes me anxious and feels like more of a burden so I had to relax and take some deep breaths so I didn't have a panic attack whilst I was alone since the pressure on my chest could do more harm than good.

Chris came to find me about 10 minutes later to check on me because I was taking a while and he'd walked in whilst I was trying to calm down.

Chris' POV

We'd just finished our scene with team cap so I went to go find y/n since she's been a while doing her meds. I found her trying to calm down since I'm guessing she got in her head about having to do her feeds later in front of everyone not only that but I know she can get in her head about how much she relies on people and she hates it.

"Sweetheart you're alright, you're safe" I reassured her whilst kneeling down to have her focus on me whilst rubbing the length of her arms gently knowing she was in pain.

"Yeh I know I'm just anxious about everyone judging me," she says trying not to cry but tears brim her eyes threatening to spill...

I whispered sweet nothings into her ear whilst hugging her tell her she has nothing to worry about.

Once she'd calmed down it was time for lunch so we all sat and I helped her with the feeds she needed to set up since she needed an extra one with a liquid iv in for hydration.

****TIME SKIP****

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Y/n had an hour left on her feeds and this is the one she can't stop then restart since it will mess with her stomach and cause her to be sick so she had to keep it connected in the backpack that keeps it in and working whilst we finished filming.

Y/n's POV

Finally, after 10 hours on set, we'd finished for the day and I'm not going to lie I'm proud of myself because I finally did what I was scared of being judged for and I was okay; Chris was right no one really took notice of what I was doing and how I was picking at little snack to try and help a little bit because I can snack on little bits I just have to be careful. Apple sauce is the go-to that I've found is okay for me.

Chris came and found me back in our trailer to come to say how proud he was of me because it definitely wasn't easy today and he could see that.

"I'm proud of you bubs, today you did amazing even though it was hard I knew you'd be okay and you know you've always got me, I'm so proud of you peanut." he said whilst giving me a hug using the nickname he'd called me for years.

“Thank you, Chrissie, I love you. You're the dad figure anyone could ask for. Forever and always" I replied using his nickname and our saying that became a thing after the first time I had been admitted to hospital whilst my health was a little unmanageable. he was there for me during these times more than my own family which made our relationship even more special and built on trust and love.

After that long day that we had on set and the facetime catch-up we had with Chris' brother Scott who I called 'uncle,' we had cuddles before turning in with a movie.

Chris' POV

It was now about 11:30pm and to say we were both tired was an understatement y/n more than me which was understandable. We'd gotten ready for bed and I helped y/n get everything for overnight with her tube. Making sure she was as comfortable as she could be depending on her joints.

Once that was all set both cuddled in our beds falling asleep to Cars 2 because it's a classic that is an amazing film that we both loved

Y/n started to drift off in my embrace that she'd like to fall asleep every night because of the sense of security my arms gave her, so I cuddled her up to my chest and said " go to sleep sweetheart, I love you." She murmured a love you too da- and she was out for the night.

I followed soon after making sure everything in the trailer was locked and all good.

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She said dad could there be a part 2 to see how their relationship develops more because y/n mentioned her family is never there for her when it gets really tough. could Chris file to adopt on the ground of medical neglect who knows...

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I loved writing this so thank you so much Elle for this ask lovely, I hope you like it everyone and please do point out any inconsistency with this. It was done with research involved ❤️

Also a possibility for part 2 who know I want to see if you guys want to see a part 2 💕

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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a few Takes™ i have seen lately which have been living rent free like rats in my brain and i need to pass comment on in the safety of my blog.

notes before i begin: all takes are paraphrased from what i remember, so i might have messed it up somewhat, but it also means you can't word search it, which is good. cw for domestic violence mentions (Ed's parents)

let's go

the kraken isn't a rejection/heartbreak response, it's a threat response!

Nghhhhhh okay sure okay yes I can somewhat see this one, although I think the fact it took Ed like 8 hours of Contemplation™ to come to the conclusion he wanted to go fucking evil means that's a little off base but-- okay, whatever

proof it's a threat response is when he killed his father! he did that in self-defense!

*deep inhale* *deep exhale* *places palms together* *points fingertips towards you*

No. (but also, the real reason is better, why would you want it to be this?)

The show is very, very good at showing us what we need to see to understand the context of situations. Let me... dig into that a little more to explain:

When we first see Ed's father's death, we see the Kraken rise from the waves, terrifying the small boy Ed was, to strangle his father to death on the docks.

What this story and perception of the event tells us is that Ed sees the Kraken as an unleashed, furious monster. You don't reimagine something like this, to disassociate from it, as a monster because you think whoever did it was good.

There is a reason why when people's PTSD creates a make believe shade that attacked them it tends to be a monster. Turning aggressors and attackers and those who hurt you into a monster makes your fear feel more justified and easier to handle.

This also shows us that he feels... not super great about what he did to his father? He went straight for the nuclear option, as I've seen a few people describe his tendencies, and maybe, just maybe, there were other paths he could have tried to take. But he sees his father's murderer - him - as a monster.

He even sees the murder as something done on a dark and stormy night, something violent and terrifying. This tells us so much.

Later, when we see the real story, we're shown what actually happened, and the real truth is honestly better than it being self-defense?

We are never shown, not once, Ed's father laying hands on Ed. We see him make Ed flinch and cry, sure, but that doesn't mean he's laid hands on him (I imagine he likely did? But that is conjecture). What we're actually shown is that he hits Ed's mother.

The framing of the whole scene and even the camera work is incredibly specific. If you don't already know - which you might not! It's a somewhat niche thing to know about - the way that cameras are used is directly to evoke certain feelings and emotions.

For example, in Jane the Virgin, when Jane is terrified of the hotel corridor her husband was shot in, she steps out of the elevator and the camera follows her from right behind. We are crowded into the back of her neck, following her closely in her discomfort. Not only does this make her feel very claustrophobic, but it makes us feel what she's feeling: threat. Dread. Panic.

When she steps out into the corridor, the camera pulls out all the way. It's all negative space around her, hammering home how alone she is in that corridor.

(This is actually something I noticed is used a lot in The Punisher, too (at least in season 1). The camera angles are all designed to add negative space around the characters, making them feel isolated and alone in every shot. Except for when they are not - for example when Frank and Karen are together, or further through the show when Frank and Micro are, because they've become friends.)

To come back to OFMD, here is how those scenes are framed:

Young Ed is put very specifically between his abusive father and his victimized mother. He's between them as his father yells, and he flinches when he throws the plate but his father doesn't hit him, with the plate or with his hands.

Again: don't misunderstand. I'm sure his father did hit him, it seems likely! But if the show wanted that to be our takeaway here, either he would have been hitting him in this scene, or he'd have bruises in this scene, or there'd be some other way it was implied/told to us.

Instead, what we're shown is that his father hurts his mother. We're shown it very, very deliberately from Ed's point of view. We see it through his facial expressions, we see it through the shadows on the wall, rather than a cut to the actual strike.

We are shown from a wide angle, which shows you how isolated and separated from one another they are, and they position Ed between them, caught in the middle. Ed watching his father abuse his mother before storming out and leaving. And then we're shown Ed making the decision to turn into the Kraken. It's all over his face.

(And, sure, we could argue the scene is framed similarly to 1x10 and maybe he Krakens because of Izzy reminding him of his abusive father, but I don't think that's right either, and again that's because of the framing of that scene. Ed is the violent one in that scene, and the positioning of the camera and the feeling of isolation. I would posit that we're meant to see Ed ultimately more like his father in that scene, especially since he sees himself as a monster.)

Ed makes the decision not out of self-defense but out of the desire to protect his mother. He watched his father victimize her again and he decided, "No more," and took matters into his own hands.

The Kraken is his going nuclear response, and it has very little to do with what triggers it and more to do with becoming something else to handle the situation he's in.

When Ed goes Kraken in 1x10, it's to handle the situation, which is brought to his attention by Izzy's shitfit. I do think that part of what Izzy said did chime as a threat, and did concern him greatly, but I think what the core of that scene ended up being was that Izzy made him realize what he'd become, and he chose to turn against it and become something else, to go back to a heartless monster.

Most people when they go through something like grief or heartbreak don't realize quite what they are becoming until someone else points out how much ice cream they've eaten and how their house is getting rats and how they haven't showered for a month. And then they react to that by pulling themselves out of that mess.

Ed thought he was out of the mess when he was cleaning up, but he was still in the robe, still acting very unlike a pirate, and definitely unlike Blackbeard. Izzy brings to his attention that he's allowed his heartbreak to change who he is. That is the main reaction he has, in my opinion. He hears the crew not just chanting for Ed ("I want to be called Ed now, actually") but chanting for Eddie, and it sounds almost mocking.

He isn't the dreaded pirate Blackbeard, he isn't the scary Edward Teach, he isn't a captain, he isn't even Ed. He's Eddie to these people. He's lost all authority, all respect, and he's suddenly made aware of that and reacts accordingly.

If it was only Izzy he was truly reacting to, he would not have thrown Lucius overboard and marooned the crew.

Which brings us to...

marooning the crew was actually to protect them from izzy

No, seriously, what?

They were dead. If Stede hadn't found them via magical rowboat gaydar they would be dead. Lucius is, until proven otherwise, dead. This was in no way an attempt to "protect" the crew from scary Izzy, not only because Izzy hadn't threatened the crew at all (only Ed!) but because, hi, yes, hello, they managed to overthrow him singlehandedly without Ed around, and were about to toss him overboard when Ed returned. Ed knows full well they can handle themselves against Izzy. Izzy is absolutely no threat to the crew at all.

tl;dr

Ed became who he is out of a desire to protect his mother, and it all spiralled from there via nuclear option and a big heap of trauma and PTSD. It's very fair to argue that in the future the Kraken is likely to only come out when someone he cares about (Stede for example) is actively threatened!

But arguing that he killed his father in self-defense, rather than in cold blood and a premeditated manner, to protect his mother, is blatantly untrue.

And pretending the atrocities he committed in 1x10 were a kindness?

Is just objectively incorrect.

If he was trying to protect them he would have marooned them himself (or sent Fang or Ivan to do it) with food and water and shelter. Or taken them to a port. Or put them in a magic dinghy. Or thrown Izzy to the sharks.

He slammed Izzy into that wall and could have instantly taken him elsewhere and dealt with him. He could have woken him with a hand over his mouth, wrestled him out of his room and dealt with him then. He didn't.

Marooning the crew wasn't a fucking act of protection, it was an act of premeditated attempted murder.

Pretending Ed is A Perfectly Good Guy, Actually, Who Would Never Hurt A Fly is counter to everything the show is telling us, counter to the depths of the character we have been given and love so much, and counter to the entire narrative.

okay i'm done

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #edward teach murder #edward teach meta #i cannot edit this post without tumblr giving me a fit #so we are just stuck with my accidental ed tag #i was trying to type meta lmao

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bobbinbugs · 1 year

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HII so what do you mean about vessel OCs being thematically relevant? Did you mean specific OCs or the concept of making a vessel OC in general? either way i would love to read your thoughts

An ask! Anon, may you be blessed evermore. Thank you!

As for thematically relevant vessels, well… that’s kind of two separate questions! I’ll go with the general question for now, because that’s way easier to answer, but frankly I’m going to devolve into rambling and start talking about my little guys. You’ve been warned!

A lot of people just want to make A Guy and give them a story, with the backstory of the vessels as a base. And that’s all well and good! It’s lovely and compelling, and I support that. But hollow knight has a strong theme of family. You can connect a lot of the themes from there: duty in the name of your parents, having to unfairly fill a sibling’s shoes, the idea you’re one of many, the desire to reconnect despite everything: it all comes down to the fact that the 3 main characters are related.

All the vessels are a part of a family, and all save one are very young children at that. Either by luck or sheer solemn brutality, ghost managed to rough it on their own. But all of hollow knight is the story of those three siblings trying to connect with each other, and never fully bridging the gap: often, people design vessels in isolation, but I find it most interesting if they come in droves. Ghost, Hornet, and THK are an emotionally-estranged set. How would they react to a set of vessels who work together?

(I’ve seen this idea explored by @talos-the-mourning-vessel, which is probably why they’re my favorite vessel oc to date!)

In turn, I’m using this segue as an excuse to talk about my little guys.

I have two little guys, basically intended as self-inserts of myself and @two-children-in-a-trenchcoat (hi buddy!) and intended for a multiplayer true end let’s play that probably isn’t going to happen. Welp. Regardless… these two sealed their fates in the abyss/birthplace, where they helped each other up instead of killing each other. Canonically they went up the wall closest to the door (not the middle platforms) and pk was facing the wrong way and didn’t notice. Pk moment

They then decide “this entire kingdom sucks we need to leave NOW” and do exactly that, returning when they hear hollow scream, same as ghost. They then show up 15 min late to hallownest with Starbucks.* Their asses are not saving hallownest ‼️‼️

They don’t have the guts, resolve, or skill that Ghost does. Their main survival skill is being quick to retreat and having the other’s back.

I really love these guys because of how they interact with ghost: or, should I say, ghost hates them. Hollow knight, as is always worth reiterating, is the story of 3 siblings trying to reach for each other and never quite bridging the gap. Seeing their family actually act like family: always willing to help the other up & totally ride or die would be such a gut punch to Ghost.

There’s also hungry knight, which is the story of hk in extreme miniature, but missed the central emotional core and implied story behind “I carried a fallen companion to a resurrection altar (because they’re so fundamental to me I can’t continue without them)” that didn’t fully make it into hk. (that implied story was the only compelling part about hungry knight tbh. I love to see extreme hk beta but let’s be real. It’s not good.) I like the idea, and these two continue that dropped thread in a way that doesn’t undo ghost’s whole “lone warrior” vibe. Not even a vibe, it’s a theme: they were refused a helping hand from the very start. They crawled out alone, they returned alone, they take on the burden alone. These two won’t save the world, but they have each other, which rubs everyone in hallownest the wrong way, probably.

These are all my miscellaneous thoughts on the matter, really! Thank you for asking. I ought to draw my little guys sometime.

*I think they have their reasons. Partly fear, partly arguing, partly distance. They have no more memories than ghost, but know they wanted to leave the call’s origin so badly it sent them running blindly into the wastes. They finally came ‘round from the appeal/duty of there being another like them, but they were very avoidant to return.

#god I need to do paperwork #bobbinbugs originals

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