IF I SPEAK-

There is nothing more genius than having your two love interest leads both be doctors and having one of them have a life threatening heart condition that she doesn’t tell him about and keeps writing off symptoms he sees and inquires over and then following through with an emotional discovery scene after he asks her to run away with him where all he has to do is listen to her heart and we see his face shift from confusion to disbelief to the utmost sadness and devastation.

my life went downhill the moment I realized as a child that there was no grand adventure waiting for me and I wasn’t the main character of some incredible story. genuinely that is when it all went wrong

free miracle cure for some of the takes & winning poll options that've been on my dash lately. get well soon

when the costume department puts the bride in a white wedding dress even though the show is set before the 1800s

That’s All Folks

7.3k | E | Crack, Roommates, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Explicit Smut

The scene plays in Alex’s head in full fucking HD. 1080p quality, crystal fucking clear. He can make out the sweat dripping down Henry’s forehead making the golden blonde strands stick to his forehead, lips pink and swollen, bitten in an attempt to muffle all the pretty sounds he wants to let out, his chest heaving, breath hitching with each pump of his fingers.

He imagines in his head the way Henry’s dick twitches, leaking precum to his chiseled stomach. Then the snap happens. Henry’s entire body convulses, back arching from the bed, the round of his ass shallowly thrusting with stilted movement, grinding down on his own fingers, riding out his orgasm. The force of it makes Henry slump back down to bed, thick ropes of come painting his chest and chin.

And with the Looney Tunes ‘That’s All Folks’ tune, Alex’s brain shuts down. The melody is accompanied not by the Porky Pig but with a cartoon image of his dick closing down the ‘Sane Alex’ show. And considering his dick is going to be the conductor of the show until Alex loses his ability to use it, that seems about right.

OR

Henry has a sex related injury and Alex spirals

merry christmas @burntwaffle12‼️‼️ this beast is just for you for the @mlsecretsanta gift exchange<3<3

you can read the first chapter of your gift here

happy holidays and i will be back so soon with more<3<3

R63 human au where Lestat begs Armand to let her go down on her while she’s on her period 🥹

I feel like when I think about it, it's Armand doing it to Lestat because in my head, Lestat's almost always such a pillow princess! And Armand's a stone cold service top — she lives to please. And in the AU they established these dynamic early on when Armand would (literally) pursue Lestat after the classes they shared and pull her into an empty room, yank down her panties, and eat her out without saying a word. All before they ever actually had a proper conversation.

So I'm imagining Lestat getting her period once they're "properly" dating, and she's an absolutely miserable whiny mess. Achy and crying and extremely temperamental and argumentative (seriously... imagine Lestat with a period. I dare you). Armand knows that orgasms help with cramps and she just wants to soothe her pretty bratty princess and get her to shut the hell up, so she gets up and silently retrieves some towels and lays them out on the bed before summoning Lestat to strip all the way, yes, all the way, down.

Prior to getting with Armand, Lestat has had a lot of sex, she's a slut and proud of it (as she should be 🥰), but it's mostly been of the vanilla variety so she hasn't really had a chance to explore her kinks or be introduced to new ones.

Armand isn't always physically aggressive in bed (although it does come out when she's feeling possessive) but she is very domineering and when Lestat hesitates, Armand kisses her cheek and walks her to the bed before pushing her down and making quick work of her pants, panties, and pad. Ass on the towel, knees up and legs spread. Armand is so dedicated, and she absolutely takes advantage of how extra overly sensitive Lestat's nipples and clit are when she's on her cycle. It's a mess and Armand is just enough of a kinky freak to romanticize consuming the blood from her girlfriend's womb. 🥹 And of course Lestat's so sweet and cuddly after she's cum no less than five times in 45 minutes, at least twice on the strap-on.

Good for her.

Also, separately — I want genderswapped vampires but Lestat is simulating the act of eating out Armand on her period, like biting her tongue and pushing the blood into Armand's pussy and licking and sucking it back up while nicking Armand's clit with her fangs (I wanna work it into the sapphic L/A fic that's been vibing in docs for months now, pray for us).

the polite society maar dala scene for anyone who hasnt seen it yet. this is brown girl for kys btw

Oh yeah remember when Finn said Mike was trying to be normal.

What the fuck was that. Because he spent all his time in Hawkins with Eddie freakin “the freak” Munson emphasizing to Lucas how he did not care about being cool.

The only other thing he did all season was try to tell El he....oh

here's the thing, right. like. okay, let's take everything up to the title showing up as the 'origin' style opening for dai, where you establish character. but like. literally what about that opening establishes character. you get brought to the chantry in haven where they briefly discuss executing you before declaring the inquisition. you can either begrudgingly support the people who have actively threatened you repeatedly or you can go uwu i'd love to help you guys out im so excited to be working with you. like. hello.

the identity crisis of being a psychic manifestation of scott summers co-created by jean grey and emma frost. do you see my vision.

The fun part of digging into history from multiple different sources is that you start to piece together information about people across different eras, until history starts to feel like a massive crossover event involving surprise guest stars.

For example:

The book about Lincoln's Cabinet presents William Seward as the expected Republican candidate for the 1860 election. As they discuss his backstory I'm like, "Oh, he's Seward the anti-slavery New York Whig who influenced Zachary Taylor." And then they mention Seward becomes Lincoln's Secretary of State.

And I'm like

Wait a minute...

SEWARD'S FOLLY???

HE'S BEEN THE ALASKA MAN THIS WHOLE TIME???

An emergency trip to Wikipedia confirmed that he was. Which feels much stranger than it probably should, but in high school, all the Alaska stuff was presented as completely separate from the Civil War, so it's taken me a long time to put the pieces together. Still kind of fun to make connections like that, though.

made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.

[more in the tags]

[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!