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sageandred · 1 month

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The "Real" Message of The Show

No matter what, people will be determined to classify someone as "bad" when a new series drops. like people can't be viewed through the lens of being "neutral" or "good people who make bad decisions"...despite that typically being how people are???

When I watched season one, I only really paid attention to Wille and Simon, but when I did a rewatch, I really saw all the moving parts and how much YR was a super cohesive story with intertwining of all of the character's experiences. At the center this show deals with different societal classes, upbringings, etc and we do actually see how that affects who these people are and what they do as the show goes on, and it's not meaningless/out of the blue.

Because no matter how much people want to act like it's not as impacting as it is: People are a product of their experiences.

Wille- If we're being real we saw him for a very small portion at the beginning of the show before everything blew up-him being super adorable, sweet, and awkward. Since being under his strict lifestyle and pressure, he's been going on this downward spiral-he has literally been becoming more and more in the image of his royal family since season 1 (and season 2 he was a lot of the same as 3, it just gets glossed over by his thoughtful decision at the end).

Since I first watched the show, it was clear to me how all of the backstory with August's character was not throwaway information. Tbh, what we know of him in season 1 was never enough to make sense of where his bad decision came from (I guess his insecurity..). But this season, they just gave so much more. And it's strange to me how strongly people react for either argument- of August being actually evil, or having to identify him as a good person [tbf I never thought he was a "bad" person per say, which is my whole point of writing this because for every character of a series (look at the reaction to Wilhelm this szn) people immediately have to sort them into good and bad columns on the judgement of morality and not just take story for what it is: story]. Again, with August his backstory has always added reason to why he is the way he is, but now knowing what we know with Erik, and being 1? 2? years older than Wille, his experience does make sense of what he did (when it's almost exactly the same thing with Wilmon). Because hurt people hurt people.

And with Sara, it's never been warranted the amount of hate she gets that insinuate she is evil. The show tells you very early on what her arc is gonna be: she places value on external things-she wants expensive clothes and to live in the fancy school and will try to impress to fit in with her new group of girl friends. And the irony is she lost it all after everything came out at the shooting range. She wanted what she never had and made decisions, because she thought that was what was important. She's a product of her experiences and it's also her experience-because she was bullied-that August's letter means even more to her and results in her kissing him.

Simon- has literally done nothing wrong (we're not talking about his decision to sell, because that's not really a choice that badly affects ppl other than mostly only himself).

Felice- has literally done nothing wrong; had the biggest positive transformation between seasons 1 and 2, because she stopped caring about external accolades (and that is also a representation of her being a product of her environment because of her mother).

And, to be clear I'm not saying people can't change how they are. Because, yeah Felice is a good example. August has surprised many people this season. Maybe August continues to change; maybe he doesn't. Wille has surprised people in his own way. Maybe we'll get more shocks in the final act. This show has always dealt with the subtext of personal experiences that lead to how people react.

#bit of scattered thoughts but had to talk about this as it all comes to a close #young royals #young royals s3 #prince wilhelm #august of årnäs #sara eriksson #simon eriksson #felice ehrencrona #wilmon #august horn #sargust

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eloise0620 · 7 months

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3D, Seven, and Jks Image

After 3D and the alleged video of Jungkook and his girlfriend I truly have realized how nasty some of this fan base is when one of the members isn’t fitting into the idea ppl have constructed for them.

This is your friendly reminder that you DON’T know Jungkook. You don’t know his sexuality you don’t know what he’s like in person you don’t know his relationship status. We only see what we’re given and whether you want to accept it or not what we’re given is a partially constructed image. I’ve seen so much screaming and whining about how 3D and seven are too “straight” or sexual for him and aren’t who he is and are ruining his image.

Like?? He has literally said in his own words he HIMSELF is trying to move away from the cute maknae image and be taken more seriously as a mature adult. Why are y’all acting like he can’t have multiple aspects to his identity as a person and an artist? Singing about women doesn’t make him a bad person or suddenly a completely different Jungkook. But some of you are delusional and put so much stake in him being in a relationship with one of his bandmates that you can’t even be happy for him if his music has pronouns that you don’t like. At that point you don’t support him you support the idea of him you’ve created in your head that’s attached to a fantasy. He’s not “queer bating” when he’s touchy with Jimin or Taehyung, he loves them. Him constantly bringing up Jimin means they’re close of course but it never necessarily meant it was romantic. It’s such an insult to their friendships to degrade Jungkook like that and act like those boys don’t love each other with their entire heart. They mean everything to each other and you can’t even find joy in that because it’s not how you envisioned the lives of people you don’t KNOW????

I’d also like to add that even if he is bi or has had relationships with men, etc. (not saying that he has just a hypothetical), using female pronouns doesn’t negate that??? He is a KOREAN artist, he cannot just suddenly start singing about men and not experience cultural backlash. Why would he want to put himself in that position during the peak of his solo career? He didn’t write these songs either so if they were handed to him with female pronouns what reason would he have to change it? I beg for some ppl to just use the tiniest bit of logic before speaking because some of y’all are grown ADULTS that are throwing full on fits and it is so embarrassing to witness. You are entitled to your opinion on his music and if you don’t like it that’s okay! But dragging his personal character into it is so gross and delusional, especially when it’s revolving around hearsay.

At the end of the day if Jungkook is happy and has not OBJECTIVELY done anything bad then you should be happy for him too! I’m so serious when I say some ppl in this fan base need to transfer this energy into BLs or something that doesn’t involve real people. He has expressed how he is tired of being infantilized, this man is 26 years old, and you think he’s being “corrupted” somehow. Jungkook is not your queer icon or your little baby or the raunchy bad boy, he’s just Jungkook the individual. There have been plenty of valid criticisms I have heard regarding 3D but all this nonsense is not apart of it. If you don’t like him as he is then I sincerely hope you do leave because no one deserves fans like that, especially not someone like Jungkook who dedicates his time to showing how much he truly loves and appreciates army.

#either grow up or get out #the second hand embarrassment has been real the last few days #bts #bts army #jikook #taekook #jeon jungkook #jungkook seven #jungkook 3d

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aether-friskets · 7 months

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Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?

it came to me in a dream.

ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long

Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.

I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.

(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)

My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.

I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.

When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.

Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.

the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.

But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.

Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.

Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.

That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.

like HELLO??

I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.

Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.

Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.

This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.

anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #waylon park #im risking tagging this even tho im embarrassed lol #i feel like this will all sound silly #but i guess its a personal view/experience #not a objective truth #so like w/e #anyway i wrote this despite having a project due today that i havent started #:P #i may die

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saltysaltdog · 2 years

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I think people who make humansona megatron (aligned/tfp) a man who conforms to nearly every gender norm are missing a LOT of context.

People like Megatron, but everyone outside of Gladiator Kaon finds him really unsettling. Like, Orion can be harsh and call everyone working with Megatron mechs who'll die in the gutter, but Megatron can't even say "my friend" without everyone thinking he's super suspicious and probably going to kill someone.

And while you can say "caste tension" and drop it, I think you can add more nuance by making Meg "caste-abberant," defining him as outside the norms physically within functionalism.

—For example: you may have noticed the mining vehicons are slightly smaller than the eradicons/ fighting vehicons. You can see this in background shots, with them being half Megatron's height, or in the scene where wheeljack startles mining bots while running from predaking– but that the eradicons are slightly taller than him/ taller than Starscream.(Some of this is hidden by weird framing tricks but the mining vehicons have more visors than the fighting ones though they both have weapons.)

So mining bots have a certain image. Small. But Megatron is very much not that. Whatever reason you want to make up for it (size gain like a lobster upon aging, just build different, etc) he is huge.

This in and of itself isn't what makes people uncomfortable. Optimus is tall but adored. Ultra Magnus, omega supreme, tall but trusted. It's not a height thing. It's a caste thing, specifically someone who doesn't fit neatly into a box.

Like, Have you ever seen a dude driven nuts bc a girl is taller than him? As if he thinks being a man is a title given to the "manliest" people around and if you aren't your man card gets revoked. And then to protect his "manhood" he starts trying to muscle in and prove himself but just makes himself look pathetic and insecure?

It's like that for Megatron.

People get that way for guys too. Where men act like someone having feminine traits or hobbies, as a man, attacks manhood itself and is trying to bring everyone down. Making men "look bad" or weak.

Or its attacking the notion of heterosexuality by having "womanly" features they find attractive. Thus they think the guy with features they like is actively trying to "turn them gay" and start lashing out in defense to that imaginary attack, while the guy is actually just living his life. And of course the reverse where a lady with "manly" features is doing the same as above.

There's so many examples of this discomfort with gender ambiguity/difference that trans ppl or people who's appearances don't fit euro-centric beauty ideals have catalogued that I won't go on with them.

I think the innate discomfort bots have with Megatron in exodus comes from something like this, or at least Orion's discomfort with him, since orion also instantly mistrusted Ransack for 0 reason on Velocitron in Exiles, probably because he was a three wheeled racer, where Override was a car. (Though it may also be a manners thing for that one. Since OP is a huge snob in those books.)

#transfomers #aligned continuity #tfp #Megatron #maccadam #cybertronian culture #so anyway my meg has MEGA MILK-

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rodolfoparras · 1 month

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To keep myself distracted from stressing out I've been working on bg3 oc and wanted to talk about it bc he is so silly <3

So he's a huge buff druid, has a giant mountain lion form he takes, like his lion form is huuuuggggeee (he can alter the size, sometimes he's just a tiny lil house cat and gets carried everywhere)

His name is Venus (possibly, not 100% decided) he's like about Halsin's height, maybe a smidge taller. Venus isn't like supposed to fit the role of the Tav, he doesn't even have a tadpole worm thing in his head

However he was cursed to be stuck in his giant mountain lion form in colosseum type fighting ring. He was the most fearsome beast, everyone wanted to slaughter him but none succeeded.

Eventually the place gets abandoned but he gets left behind, mindlessly roaming the ruins and lashing out when people come near because he expects everyone to try attacking him.

Eventually the main group come across him and after a few nughts of research, Gale is able to break the curse. Venus isn't used to being in his elf form, it's been so many years, he kinda forgot how to really act human in a way??

Anyways that's what I mostly have so far - he has a very slow burn with Halsin, mostly slow because of Venus needing to recover and heal before even considering a relationship

Also Astarion helps take care of Venus' hair and they're pretty close. Astarion has a lot of sympathy for him (though he hides it) and wants to help him be his own person again :3

-🌱

Hello this sounds like such an interesting backstory for an oc!! I’ve always loved tropes where the broken characters is left behind but eventually gets saved by a new group of ppl🥹 also the forgetting how to act human part sounds so cute because I’m imaging the sweet thing preparing to clean his fur only to rmr he’s human and he’s attempting to lick his arm or the faux disdain halsin has when venus practically Velcros himself to halsin to steal his body heat

#alec answers #🌱 anon

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08theverysmallhuman · 1 year

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Absolutely annoyed whenever ppl ask why Kira got kicked out of blue lock so early when someone like Igaguri didn’t…. Like! The whole point is that yeah, Kira is the better player! But he’s not an egoist and that’s what got him out! Igaguri may not be the best player but he’s an egoist, and embodies those values(frankly as much if not more than anyone there). That’s what’s keeping him in. Blue lock is about skill, yes, but above all its about being a stone cold bitch!

The fact that they don't have any other justification for wanting him back other than Igaguri being "ugly" or "not as talented" is the main reason I don't look at bllktwt outside of spoilers anymore

Because despite Kira being exposed as a two-faced cunt motherfucker whose egoism extends to acting shiny and righteous to preserve the image he uses to put down players he deems lower than him, the face wins overall

Igaguri is not and has never been a player that is going to be showcased as someone to beat, someone who can lead a team, someone you want on your side going up against a tough team but he knows his worth as a great player. Not superhumanly good, not yet on par with the greats of the world that his teammates are slowly surpassing but he Has the talent and the drive to keep going regardless

What ticks me off other than the blatant bias against Igaguri is that they then bring up Isagi's choice to leave him be as a Mistake despite That Singular Choice being a pivotal moment in Isagi's development! It is the first time we see him break away from the pattern hammered into him by his old team and start valuing himself as Someone who could Become the World's Best! It is the Literal Moment that establishes him as the MAIN CHARACTER. AND THEY WANT TO THROW THAT AWAY FOR THE BLONDE PRETTY BOY BECAUSE EW EW WHY THE CHEATING BALD GUY

Not even mentioning Bachira's involvement and consequent development in it! It is the Second we see him really See Isagi as the One he's been waiting all his life to play with It is The Moment That Ties Them Together It is What initially drives him to start having fun playing soccer again It is what SETS ISAGI APART FROM THE REST OF THEM, WHO WOULD'VE LAUNCHED THAT BALL AT THE PLAYER DOWN AND WAITED DOWN THE SECONDS.

I've already written the hypothetical up there but You Know For A Fucking Fact. That even If Isagi HAD taken the easy route.

Bachira would've still taken that ball.

He's still going after the strongest player. He's still going to try and take him out and he'll hit Kira, who at the time was right By Isagi, and there'll be seconds left to score and either he'll blank out in those final seconds again, or he won't, and Isagi would be the one on the floor. And Bachira has no reason to look at him twice.

This isn't even about Igaguri to me anymore it's just blatant disregard for Isagi's choice despite it being a crucial point in the plot that shows off his ego as someone aiming for the Top. They're completely removing the reason he was chosen for blue lock to fit a guy into a team that would absolutely not work with Kira in there.

#will have to thank them. it is because I loved him out of spite that i now love him for real #blue lock #08.text #spiteposting #08replies

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causticsunshine · 10 months

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Regarding the ‘flower project’ thing, most people are very simple in that they think other people share their interests and what they like. They are also the people who bring you a gift that they would have loved to get themselves instead of considering what you would have actually liked to get or need. I’m sure we all know those ppl and have them around, they don’t do it with malice but it’s pretty short sighted/ self centred..

just having been around here so long i think it’s maybe more so the case that SOME of the people who do this or act similarly in general are often just plaintively unaware of how these best intentions for other peoples’ sake are unintentionally self serving at their core—at least partially—OR based off assumptions of character and likes that aren’t intentional but also, in turn, prove to be at least partially self projected, and considering when things are said or done, may be inappropriate/unnecessary.

so even when it seems the answer to these hopeful/nice somethings done is ‘okay but whyyy did you think this was the time/place for this etc.?’ because it seems so obvious, for whatever the reason, these people may simply need the push, reminder, call-out to recognize a sound counterpoint as to why they should not do/say the thing they were well-intending to do.

and i DO think that’s something a lot of people may do unintentionally, if only from time to time, case specifically. and if it’s a true issue they have that’s additionally pushing boundaries, making others uncomfortable, etc. it’s good to communicate that to the person doing it directly so they’re aware and either an understanding can be made, the behavior can be altered, what have you.

BUT all benefit of the doubt being said, in the direct case of these parasocial relationships of fans and artists, and specifically here in the case of louis and his fans, there have been several instances of the fans just blatantly ignoring things he’s said about himself, or ways he personally portrays himself, to fit their self-satisfied image of him. including doing things he has plainly asked them NOT to do, such as throwing flowers onstage, intentionally throwing things AT him (denver nugget incident last year, anyone?), and to not carry on this pity party Poor Louis :( charade because he doesn’t like to be pitied.

enough of us have spoken on why we think it’s ignorant/tone deaf/whatever you want to call it that some fans insisted on having such a pity project for LOUIS after the red rocks incident when it was the affected FANS who truly deserve any aid others have to spare, so i’m not going to rehash all that here. but given your point, anon, whether the intentions put in place were pure and hence some of these people trying to organize or encourage such a project fall within the group i mentioned earlier, the fact that after what happened, they still put the joy of an artist over the actual wellness of fans directly affected by such a scary and poorly handled (by the majority of the venue staff; so far i’ve heard nothing but good things about louis and his team helping out) incident…. it just boggles my mind.

tldr; this all being said though, anon, i do agree with you! some people just don’t realize how their good intentions can come off when they’re actually misplaced, ranging from being incidentally selfish to fully ignorant, tone deaf, and even harmful (and ofc, this is all circumstantially based on all/both sides). but i do also think that when it comes to specific situations, perhaps even specific people, one needs to be EXTRA aware of what these good intentions actually hold.

if someone has said they don’t like x thing, or don’t want you to do x thing, it’s not up to you, especially when you have a indirect and parasocial relationship with them, to go ‘well i think this time you WILL like it/want me to do this, so i will do it anyway :)’. it’s both a very simplistic and very complex topic, depending on surrounding circumstances and people involved.

and if you so badly want to cheer louis up, if he even NEEDS cheering up—like idk i think the focus should be on helping affected fans regardless here—be a good crowd! learn the lyrics! when he’s speaking, don’t scream at or over him. don’t punt shit at him or on the stage when he’s walking around. be respectful of other fans at your shows and if someone needs help, help them! make it a good experience for everyone!

#sorry this was long winded and likely overly repetitive but. i hope i made my point #it’s just. i think benefit of the doubt should be considered but seeing all the background and extenuating circumstances #in this paritcular situation it’s just irritating to see such blatant like. ignorance? selfishness? if those are the correct words #discourse #faith in the future tour #fift23 #(also sidenote dk why i have fitf tagged as ltwt23 but i will fix it… eventually)#anon #answered

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aurik6 · 11 months

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My silly hcs on phantom blood au 😮‍💨

Phantom Blood seems to fit in my top 3 fav parts since it has young Dio haha. That's the reason I'm so inspired to create smth in that timeline...

♡ So the relationships between Dio and Jonathan are kinda obvious in canon, but I'd like to see more of their interactions at the younger age when Dio's personality hasn't fully formed yet, so he'd probably be able to hesitate about his *evil* actions towards Jojo. Yeah, in canon he's been treating Jonathan badly from the very beginning, hasn't even hiding it, but according to his immaturity he could feel conflicted sometimes? Maybe thoughts like : "and what if I just leave this plan of destroying Joestars' lives and try to adapt to this new "better" family which surely gives me opportunities to reach high places or gain authority in the future???" Although then I'm missing Dio's maximalism.

If only who could have some thoughts of embracing new reality and Jojo as the brother? Jojo is the best option to u know.. comfort ppl? Literally, there are all conditions to make a gentle human being out of Dio, huh.

Also I just want to write more double-meaning situations between these two. When from Dio's side it's not obvious wether he's a pure evil creature (from his early teens) or he's just so traumatized that he acts violent unintentionally and is silent about seeking some help (because of pride or fear or stuff) from the outer world (aka Joestars family). And Jonathan who doesn't want to believe that Dio sincerely hates him but can't justify his actions and also hesitant to explicitly explain his step bro's behavior. The "dumbness" of Jorge Joestar is kinda fitting, since the trope of parent who devalue one of his children's words towards other child's wild actions is perfect. Haha.

So it works like a psychological horror because everything is unclear and weird

♡ The figure like a true-ally for Dio. We've seen Pucci as this type of faithful follower, in Diego's case it was Hot Pants, although she's more independent, but still. And Part 1 Dio had some... weird minions lol. So another Italian catholic person would fit in perfectly, tho it's better to make a reasonable circumstance why these two will work well together. At first I thought about Hot Pants alter-ego, still the reason behind this thing is meh. Love? Certainly big no, it's meaningless for both of them. A common aim? Well Dio's was to become the richest man in the entire world, destroy the Joestars, then denial of his own humanity. And hers, who's a religious person? What would that possibly be what also crosses Dio's interests? Idk. Maybe another pov on religion or Christianity itself and fanatism of Dio? Supporting him at this rate? Boring. I'll fuck this shit up immediately.

♡ Demons. Yes we have vampires there, yes some magic things like stands, hamon, saint corpse, those freaking arrows, the mask... Demons isn't something which isn't suitable 🤧.

So Dio's ancestors were dealing with demons, kings of Hell. And maybe Dario owes something to a greedy demon even after his death, so the debt goes to the son. I want to use the image of King Paimon (because I love Hereditary lol). And Dio learns some weird stuff from this demon before becoming a vampire, so this creature becomes his new ideal, since he didn't have any role models. Tho, Dario aka anti-role model. And here's this demonic great king of Hell huh. So they'll have some sort of contract, after their interactions Dio has ambitions of becoming as great as this demon. And also reject the humanity because of demon's influence. Also King Paimon will tell him about his own origins aka Heaven and this funny story how Lucifer and Paimon and other rebellions were banished from there. And THIS will be the motivation for Dio to think about reaching heaven himself, since you need to have almost a God power to reach it, although even the strongest creatures like Lucifer and Paimon (aka former high class angels) couldn't fight for it for a long time huh and were defeated by God's army.

♡ About King Paimon. Originally I wanted him to be a spiritual demon who chooses the body to reincarnate in Hot Pant's alter ego in Phantom Blood universe. And in this case it'll be her ancestors who were dealing with demons to become rich etc etc, so the girl tried to wash away her sins by praying to God, BUT it didn't help huh🧐. So King Paimon found her and made her his vessel. However he didn't like the body as it was female and the demon prefers to be in male one (stolen from Hereditary I don't even hide it.) So HP would be partially (?) possessed and somehow Paimon choose Dio as his male vessel — tho I didn't make up why Dio and how. If Paimon sees "evil origins" of Dio's soul it's too naive, huh. And then, since Paimon chose Dio's male body he'd like to stay with HE'S female head since he likes her feminine face. It's from description of Paimon – "he's a man woth effeminate face". That's funny and cooperates woth canon story where Dio's body was destroyed by Jonathan, so there was only his head. As the result, it turns out that Paimon is kinda faceless, because he prefers human's appearance.

But idk why I felt conflicted about it. So I manged to make him a proper look as a demon, his true appearance. Guess he'll be a tall young-looking man with greyish skintone, but he'd look more like middle eastern person and would wear some south eastern clothes. The main colours are black and golden, his eyes would be completely white and shining in his demon form – in human they'd be jet black to make his gaze soulless. Also dark lips and eerie smile. Most of the time he'd be calm. I'd like to imagine him and his dromedary are wearing crowns. Armenian ones are just perfect! Paimon would have dark long hair which are covered with his headdress. I don't want to show his hair much, it's like I want to define his face with headdressing and loose scarf around his neck. Also he'd wear a lot of golden eastern jewelry, the ones which look like coins on chains arounf the forehead. Also earrings and rings.

#lol #kirua9 #phantom blood silly au

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emmafreakecreations · 2 years

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Reading ACOFAS for the first time

wow this was boring. Just pages and pages of the inner circle being jerks to the characters really going through it.

This has also bothered me since the beginning but even more so with this book. gendering everything and labeling ppl as either male or female. Labeling ppl as either male or female just narrows down ppl into just their biological and ignores ppl who do not identify with either and the ppl who do not identify with what they were born with.

Top cringy moments:

-Ryhsand and Feyre doing it in the air and almost hitting ppls houses months after a battle that destroyed houses and killed ppl there. Also the fact that its out in the open so anyone could see.

-Feyre trying to bring elain and lucien together when clearly both of them don't want to, because elain is still going through some stuff and lucien is being a respectful boy and keeping his distance.

-Ryhsand yelling at Tamlin and making him feel even more like shit even though Tamlin already knows the things he did was bad. Also causing Tamlin to kick out his only best friend who is willing to help him through his shit. And to top it all off not feeling bad or alarmed at all that the actions of him and feyre has caused a security issue but blames Tamlin for it, forgetting that Tamlin acted as a spy and was not working for Hyburn. Ryhsand's yelling also making the coming together in peace thing more difficult.

-Feyre being a jerk to lucien because lucien rightly so doesn't want to live with them or take their charity and wants to live other ppl who appreciate him more. I wouldn't want to live rhys and feyre either.

-Feyre and Mor thinking Cassian, Azriel, and Ryhs being the mightiest warriors have a yearly snowball fight being silly and they are illyrian babies. It just seems to me you guys don't know how to have fun and are making fun of men for being themselves.

-Feyre constantly thinking about how rich she is and complaining that she doesn't need all this wealth. Then why the hell aren't you donating most of it to ppl who need it. I mean from the sounds of it you guys basically have all the wealth of Prythian.

-Rhys being angry about Nesta sending the 14 year old Feyre to hunt when Nesta would have been 17-a child still- and not angry at their father who was alive and well that could have done something more to help the situation.

-Rhys revealing his mother made all the dresses. Yes it's weird not romantic. Also his mother must be a master of seeing into the future and sewing bc how did those dresses fit her so well.

-Rhys coming to the image of his future child. And that whole scene in general

-Rhys and Feyre. They are like that one couple in high school that constantly does PDA which is not cute its just annoying and disgusting. They will do PDA near your locker making it difficult to open your locker and get what you need.

Also I really didn't start noticing now but I feel like there are racist connotations towards the Illyrians being portrayed as backward, warroir tribal ppl that need to be kept under control by the inner circle. Also the inner circle complains about other ppl being backwards towards women but the inner circle does the same shit too.

I understand that Tamlin betraying their friendship and informing his father and brothers about the Ryhs's sister and mother's whereabouts and murdering them is bad. But Ryhs and his father exacting revenge and killing Tamlin's mother in the process was also bad. From what I understand in reading between the lines Tamlin did not like his father and brothers bc they were the worst, but his mother was kind and nice. Similar to Ryhs's parents. I could see Tamlin giving into his father and brothers and going along with it out of fear of them. And then in retaliation Ryhs allowed the killing of Tamlin's mother, the only relative he liked. Honestly its been several hundred years and in the effort of peace I think you should just forgive him and apologize to him for murdering his mother too. Yes Ryhsand you also enabled bad behavior too not just Tamlin. Also it pisses me off that Ryhs doesn't care that Tamlin saved his life. He could have let you die and feyre suffer.

#rhysand #tamlin #feyre #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas

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anime-grimmy-art · 3 years

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What do you do when there’s not much to an AU? You make up your own stuff, ofc. And as is per usual when I make Character Designs, I make up a shit ton of lore too.

The ramblings under the cut, but what I’m really interested in, is what you guys think. Do you guys have any headcanons/ideas for this AU? Let me hear them! Also, if you don’t wanna read on tumblr, here’s the Google Docs link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/151yshHxnb_--P6eMKkwkI2dee9xC_Llb/view?usp=sharing

Before I get into the characters’ roles, here’s some general facts and backstory of their town:

- Basically, it’s Undertale meets Harvest Moon / Stardew Valley. Well, kinda. I at least used that approach for coming up for the jobs for the characters. You know, how there’s always a general store, a doctor, a smithy, etc.

- The usual story of a HM game is that you come to a town that’s way past its glory days and you, as the player/farmer, help them get back to that. The “backstory” of the town is that that already kinda happened. I’ll get into it more in the character description, but basically when Asgore was still mayor, the town got really popular. Then yadda yadda, a certain tragedy happened, two kids died, and the town suddenly got very bad publicity. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, bad reputation being spread and also a lot of law stuff, cos, you know, supposed child murder ‘n all, so Asgore made the decision to shut off the town to ppl from outside. This was in the interest of most monsters living there, because as fun as it is to have a lot of people coming there, most just wanted to live a quiet life. Not everyone was happy with that though, so many moved away from town and some others are trying to get the town back on its feet. But more on that later.

On to the characters:

I’m just gonna start with the skelebros, cos it’s their fault in the first place I got so invested.

Basically, they are what the player is in hm/sdv. They just showed up one day, took over the abandoned farmhouse and began their life there. The two came to town way after it was “closed” and since then a new mayor has opened the possibility for new residents to move in. Their farm helps the economy of the town a lot and the mayor, like usually in hm games, is trying to use that to make the town more known again. The skelebros aren’t really working towards that goal however.

So, now a bit more detail on them individually.

Papyrus:

- The design is mostly based on what’s “canon” in this au.

- He works mostly on the fields and is in charge of the crops. Their fields aren’t spectacularly big, but still big enough to plant a few dozen rows of veggies.

- Paps also helps out a lot in town when he has the time. He helps Asgore with his plants, he goes fishing with Undyne, helps Toriel carry crates around and so on. This is inspired by the part-time job mechanic in HM ToT.

- Unbelievably, in this AU Pap is not an absolutely awful cook. Since he helps out at Muffet’s and Grillby’s a lot, they tend to show him some tricks to cooking. Even though Pap’s not a big fan of the greasy or overly sweet cooking those two do, he picks up a lot.

Sans:

- Again, design mostly based on the “canon” look. Maybe a bit more baggy.

- This is finally an AU this dude gets to rest. Since there are no resets and he doesn’t have to see his bro die again and again, for once in his life, he’s not a sad ball of depression. He’s just a chill and lazy dude that loves to make puns. Though, since he’s not too experienced with the feelings of loss, helplessness or grieving, he still tends to hide behind puns and fakes smiles if he does feel bad.

- Sans is in charge of the animals on the farm. Papyrus begrudgingly gave him that role since Pap’s loud demeanour and hectic movements usually scare the animals. Sans’ relaxed attitude draws the animals to him naturally and even if Pap mostly finds him sleep against a tree, in a stack of hay or on one of the sheep, the animals are always fed, healthy and relaxed, so Sans seems to be doing his job.

- Sans always has a small chic sit inside his hoodie or hat. Is it always the same one? Who knows, maybe.

- Sans also, somehow, can produce eggs out of thin air. Grab into his hoodie pocket, in his pants pocket, in his hat, in his slipper, there’s suddenly always an egg there. On good days he can even make butter or cheese appear.

Gaster:

- He’s literally just a scarecrow in this. Though, if you ask any of the bros why they designed their scarecrow that way, they won’t have an answer.

Frisk&Toriel:

- Frisk is mostly based on what I wore myself as a kid in summer. Just a loose shirt with a cappy. Toriel basically has her ut gown, just with an apron on top.

- Frisk just appeared outside the “magical” forest one day. Napstablook and his cousin found them and brought them to Toriel, who has been taking care of them since.

- Toriel runs the general store in town, but also often takes care of the few kids that still live there.

- Frisk usually helps out in Toriels store, plays with the other kids or sits around at Asgore’s. They’re notorious for nabbing small snacks, mostly from Asgore’s plants. You’ll always find them munching on something.

- Frisk was in town before the skelebros. Since they’d moved in, Frisk often went to spy on their farm. After a small incident with angry chicken, Frisk got to know the two better and now they see them as something between brothers and uncles.

- But Frisk honestly gets along with everyone. Just like in UT, they’ve not only been adopted by Toriel but literally everyone.

- Toriel and Asgore’s relationship is not as bad as in the main game, since, you know, Asgore didn’t kill literal children, but there’s still tension between them. Back when Asriel and Chara died and the whole thing with the bad rep for the town began, Toriel felt betrayed by Asgore focusing more on the town than giving their deceased kids the grieving they deserved. They’re not divorced, but Toriel still moved out and said needed space to think. Now that Frisk is in the picture though, the both of them are slowly coming to even ground and may even be able to talk things out and clear up the uncertainty of their decisions.

Asgore:

-Asgore has his UT Ending / Deltarune clothes, just with a gardener’s belt.

- He’s the previous mayor of the town, but after all the crap that happened, he stepped down from the position. Now he has his own little shop and sells seeds, saplings, homegrown veggies and fertilizer. So, basically what e.g. the Marimba Farm is in HM AP

- His main customer is Papyrus and they’re on friendly terms. Asgore is worried about how much and how hard Pap works, so he often gives him a discount.

- Since his family’s past tragedy, Asgore is kind of nervous around kids. So, when he first met Frisk, he hoped they’d not visit him too often. But to his chagrin, Frisk took an instant liking to him and spends a lot of time at his shop (and steals eats the fresh grown veggies). Now, he’s really grateful for that, because for one, he loves Frisk as dearly as he had his own children, and also because now the tension and mistrust between him and Toriel seem to grow smaller day by day.

Undyne&Alphys:

- I gave Undyne a pretty basic fisher’s outfit. Alphys basically has Elli from HM’s outfit, just a bit more doctory stuff added. She still has her canon lab coat too.

- In essence, Undyne and Alphys have 2 completely different jobs. Alphys is the resident doctor and Undyne runs the fish market.

Two things. Yes, I know Alphys is more a mechanic than a doctor, she fits the aesthetic though, so she’s the doc now. And no, Undyne being a fisherwoman is not cannibalism, think of it more as a shark hunting smaller fish.

- The reason I lump them together is because they act as the local “smithy”. Alphys is still really tech savvy in this (I mean, Mettaton is still part of this AU), so she takes on most problems with electronics and stuff. For Undyne, I didn’t want to lose her Royal Guard’s Captain image, so she’s really good at handling tools (and weapons, but Al doesn’t let her make them anymore). So basically, if there’s a broken tool, you can be sure that either Undyne or Alphys can fix it.

- As for relationships, those two are still an item. Alphys is still really shy and a shut-off, but since Undyne and Pap become best friends, she gets to know the skelebros better. She and Sans especially get along well, since most of the time Undyne and Papyrus are let loose, they sit back and talk about science-y stuff. (no, Sans doesn’t have a background in science but he’s still into sci-fi)

- Alphys has a bit of a strained relationship with both Asgore and Mettaton.

Back when Chara and Asriel died, it was because of “illness” (maybe poisoning?). Alphys feels awful because with her back then limited knowledge on medicine she couldn’t help the two. Asgore doesn’t hold anything against her but Alphys can’t help but feel guilty.

Alphys still built Mettaton’s body in this one. The two had a really big disagreement, because Mettaton hated the fact the town was going to close, and he couldn’t understand how Alphys could feel otherwise, even more so endorse the idea.

Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy/Mew Mew:

- Napsta and Dummy are pretty self-explanatory, they got straw hats. Mettaton’s outfit is a bit of a joke cos it’s a play on “work at the top and party at the bottom”. The tie has two different sides, one with the yellow red pattern, the other completely red. His “top part” is the business part, because when he’s on tv or in the mayors’ office, you don’t usually see his feet. The bottom is his party/dance part, cos his dancing/entertainment channels mostly feature his legs.

- Mettaton, still a robot, Napstablook and Mad Dummy are all still cousins in this AU.

- Originally, they all lived and worked at the Blook Farm, the Animal Farm of this AU. Mettaton, however, despised that simple live and after befriending Alphys and her building him a body, he left the Farm to pursue bigger things.

- Mettaton runs the local tv network. From weather to game shows, he does it all. He also runs the tailor shop in town that sells his designer clothes and merchandise. After Asgore stepped down, Mettaton also took over the role of town’s mayor and now works towards making the place more known again. Not everybody is happy with him doing that though.

- One of those people is the Mad Dummy. He can’t stand people anyways and he always claims that history would just repeat itself.

- Since the whole family is made of ghosts, they have different dummies and scarecrows they can use to take care of the animals. To mock Mettaton and kinda get back at Alphys for giving MTT such an opportunity, Mad Dummy found the blueprints for the Mew Mew robot and now modelled one of their scarecrows after it.

- Napstablook isn’t fond of taking over obejcts like his cousins do, so he mostly takes care of the snails. Somehow, he can interact with them even when incorporeal.

Muffet&Grillby:

- The two of them run the Inn together. Muffet cooks in the daytime and makes desserts, Grillby manages the bar in the evening.

- The two still can’t really stand each other but working together like this benefits them both because their rivalry just spurs them on more.

- Even though Grillby is a patient person, somehow Muffet is the only person who riles him up enough to retaliate. (Well, maybe except for Sans, he’s a strong second).

So, basically everything between those two is a challenge in some way. Even if Papyrus doesn’t notice, even his cooking lessons are a challenge for them.

- Even though they’re constantly bickering, after working together for so many years, there’s a strange level of respect and trust between them. Even if back when they first started this business, they’d pour salt into an already open wound, nowadays they’d know better and just take a step back from the other or even comfort the other (on very rare occasions only).

Asriel&Chara:

- They be dead. Kinda.

Some Characters that’d live in that town too but that I haven’t made designs for:

- Gerson is the original smithy of the town. He’d grown up in a family of smiths, but he’d always had an appreciation for the sea. That’s why, when the town became more deserted and Undyne had a good enough skill level as smith, he took up the Captains hat and now mostly spends his days out on sea. He also ferries people to places if they need him to. Oh, and just like in canon, Undyne learned most of her skills from him.

- Burgerpants is a poor dude Mettaton basically kidnapped when he was trying to get fame in the city. Now Burgerpants works wherever MTT needs him to, be that as cameraman for the tv shows, cashier in his tailor shop or his slave secretary in the mayor’s office.

- MK is Frisk’s best kid friend. MK’s parents are in charge of shipping the goods out of town and paying the individual people. MK’s the one that usually collects the goods at the end of the day.

- Other than that, there are only a few people in town. I’d imagine the older folks or the really young families stayed in town after it was closed. I think the librarby dude would still run the library. Some Snowdin residents like the stone family or the dogs also might still live there.

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touyaz · 2 years

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Why do you like Naoya so much? Genuinely no hate, I’m just curious because I can’t stand him, lol

he just makes my dick hard tbh 🥵😩

jjk spoilers for the real answer 😋 this got kind of long lmao

tw familial abuse, trauma. not detailed but it is talked about throughout

okok honestly he's just,, an interesting character to me. like i know he's a douche bc of the misogyny and whatnot, but to me it all just highlights how he's a product of generational trauma & how his entire life is spent moulding him into the image of the perfect zen'in. it's like everything he says is smth he's learned from the zen'in textbook; he was never truly given a chance to become an individual, he was taught how to act and what he should be. idk it's just kinda sad to have all that individuality get taken away from you at a young age. also like, age-wise he's close to gojou (only a year younger iirc) and taking into account the relationship btwn zen'ins and gojous, i feel like there would've been a lot of pressure on him to be the ideal and be good enough to go up against satoru. i think it's emphasised in his wanting to be on par with touji and gojou; he's like constantly pushing himself to this unattainable dream that's been forced onto him because if he isn't as strong as his rivals then he's weak and useless. we already know how influential the zen'ins are (keeping maki from going from grade 4 to 1 or wtv) but she's also... part of a generation sort of helped by gojou. she still gets to go on tough missions and interact with other sorcerers (classmates and otherwise). but then we see touji who left the zen'ins and he. yknow. only made a living through murder. if naoya was to try fight against his own family, it's obvious they'd make his life even more hellish. he wouldn't have the connections maki does as a school student to get to do challenging missions. the zen'ins would keep him at a low grade so he wouldn't get good missions either. staying in the clan was probably the easiest way for him to protect himself from that life. whilst he's still mistreated he hasn't got it as bad as others since he's strong & has a cursed technique - giving all that up and willingly putting himself against the clan is just,, not the smartest thing to do which is understandable, if not a little relatable. he just wants to protect himself. he's putting himself first because that's all he's ever been taught to do.

honestly he reminds me of this girl I knew who was like kind of a model student in the sense that she'd answer all the homework questions and shit, whereas I'd like only answer the last few hard ones and call it a day. like she put in way more effort than i did into things, but then when it came to exams, I'd score higher. and like,, naoya just,, his whole life he's been pushed to the extremes to reach that goal and be the very best, but it's out of his reach. his birth didn't shift the balance of the universe like gojou's did. he's not got heavenly restriction like touji. he didnt even inherit the clan technique like megumi did. he's just some guy who's been put through the wringer, but nothing much amounts from his actions bc he's not as special as the ppl around him.

at the end of the day, he's remembered as being a dick bc no one thinks abt the kind of trauma he would've endured staying in the zen'in house bc it's never talked about in relation to him. we feel sad for maki, mai and touji bc their experiences are told outright, but we never think abt the ppl who had to stay in the house where that abuse all happened. ppl just assume if they stayed in the house they were either okay w it, or they were the females/ servants that you kind of feel bad for bc of implied mistreatment due to status/gender, but some (e.g. the mothers) you may dislike for 'enabling' the men. ugh idk if this point is making sense like I want it to, but it's like,,, because naoya fits the mould of the abuser (male, has cursed energy & technique), ppl don't ever think he can be the victim of that abuser ?? ..... Even tho he can be and he probably (at least imo) was. it's like ppl just assume bc naoya was quicker to submit to his position, nothing happened to him which I personally doubt is the truth. and it's like there's no one around him that can actually save him from that/ take him out of that cycle, so he falls back into what will keep him alive which is just obeying the abusers and fitting into that mould.

tbh, this thinking can be applied to others like jinichi but he's ugly so idc much abt him lolol. jkjk i also don't think he had as much pressure as naoya did to be perfect bc naoya was the one pushed to be the next head of the clan.

and even the extreme reaction of naoya wanting to kill megumi for becoming the next head just speaks volumes on his view of his own self-worth..... he's been trained to be the next head his whole life, but if he's not that then he's good for nothing and useless. all the suffering he endured was pointless.

ugh I really wouldve liked him to ,, yknow stay alive lmao bc i think that genuinely could've pushed him to change. the source of his generation of zen'ins' misery (the elders/ their parents) were all dead and so.... it would mean he'd get to grow into himself. he wouldn't have that external pressure on him, he wouldn't have to worry abt what they would think of him/ fitting their mould, and it just would've been such a nice redemption arc to actually see a change and see the humbling effects of maki's actions on him :(

I swear this is my last paragraph on him lmao but I think some of his own individuality comes out in a v harmless way in the japanese volumes. he actually refers to maki/mai with -chan at the end, and touji/gojou with -kun. the guys one I'm sure is become he's always viewed himself to be on par/ wanting to be on their level, so.... there's still some kind of respect for them & wanting to be closer to/more personal with them? which totally goes against what he's grown up to believe since they're the enemy?? and for the girls, whilst i know that suffix can be used in a belittling/ mocking way, its kinda cute to imagine that he says that bc at the end of the day they're his family and..... they're probably some of the only ppl he actually views as decent, relatable and, well, his /real/ family. he also calls his dad 'papa' which is probably his way of,,, trying to be cheeky and have some personality other than what he's been forced into being? it's like the child in him that's always wanted to be taken care of and live a normal life calling his dad papa to like,, paint the picture of normalcy when it's anything but. he probably gets away with small things like this bc he still generally listens to them and follows their ideals, so he's holding onto the small blessings when he can :(

#im not proofreading alla that good luck if ur actually interested in my answer #its 4am so i just. typed wtv came to mind and hoped for the best lmaoo #the most impt point is that hes hot tho. im forcing him to marry me #he definitely deserves a tag after this. i just. need to think of smth sexy and fitting #SGHDKS ANW THANK U FOR ASKING THIS WAS FUN TO THINK ABT <333 #anon #wait hold up why cant u stand him :(( sit down and enjoy his pretty face :((#906 / a simulacrum of melancholy

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i-am-a-passenger · 3 years

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Grace getting off the train hc list:

image description: a spin on the “you’ve been in a coma for x amount of time” meme featuring Grace. Grace’s head is poorly edited onto the face on the patient and the nurse is touching her shoulder saying “you’ve been on the train for ten years” Grace replies “can’t wait to go outside where there’s no pandemic”. end description.

this one ended up incredibly long...

- Grace’s number was built up over the course of 8 years where Simon was retraumatising her and she was making herself worse for other ppl’s approval out of a misguided idea of what she was supposed to do, that sort of trauma and straying from the recovery the train intended for her will take a long time to recover from, so Grace gets off the train 2 maybe 3 years after Book 3 finishes.

- also I like to think that she and her kid friends moved out of the mall car to somewhere else and set up a new camp there, and that some of them waited after getting their exits for Grace to get hers so they could leave together. And so Grace wouldn’t be alone on the train since that’s a huge source of anguish for her and I like the idea of some of the older kids in their teens looking after Grace and making sure she isn’t forced into a perfect leader role again and is able to take time to herself to look after her mental health and pursue hobbies and such so when she gets off the train she’s in a much better headspace and able to have healthier mutually caring relationships with people.

- Grace’s parents never stopped looking for her okay they love her :’[ but losing your only child for several years took a huge toll on their relationship and gave them lots of time to reflect on their not perfect behaviour and realise they were hurting Grace and why they treated her that way.

(taking huge inspiration from @blackfemmecharacterdependency ‘s no train au for Grace’s family here...) Grace’s mother realised she was living vicariously through her daughter and that her investment in Grace’s dancing and fame wasn’t healthy. So with Grace gone for such a long time and her unable to do that she turned inward and realised that about herself, and set to making her own life better and happier for herself so she wouldn’t need to project all these standards and unfulfilled dreams onto her daughter.

I like to think that Grace’s mum used to be like, a singer or an actress or something and was convinced to give that up by her husband to raise their daughter, and with Grace gone she returns to her career and reconnects with her old friends and colleagues. Also it’s important to me that as part of this she stops straightening her hair and goes natural, and while she still dresses fancy she does so more for herself than keeping up professional appearances. So when Grace comes back she’s ready to be accepting of her fashion choices and self expression rather than control her.

As for Grace’s dad, he seems like the type who’s overly invested in what things should be like to the point where he ignores or tries to change how things actually are, even if doing so hurts people. Like, when he got told Grace had shoplifted his response was “Grace would never steal” and he argues with the police officer, which really hurts Grace because rather than talking to her and thinking about how she feels and she would steal, he jumps into protecting his idealised image of Grace, and as we see with Grace’s mum scolding her for dressing up these parents really projected their ideals onto their daughter and traumatised her.

So for him it would be about letting go of controlling others and realising why he had to make Grace into someone else and mould her into what he wanted. I think after a few years her parents hire therapists for themselves and he does a lot of digging into his past to become a better person.

So when Grace comes back she goes home to a household that’s not perfect, but it’s trying to heal.

- Grace and her parents have a kind of rocky relationship for the first few months that she’s back. Grace has a hard time opening up about everything that happened on the train for obvious reasons, I mean... a magical train is hard enough, but corunning a cult on a magical train and almost getting killed by your best friend and a bunch of indoctrinated children? the Hazel thing? hard to get all that out, especially to parents who haven’t exactly been sympathetic towards her.

Also Grace’s dad kinda took a few steps back in his growth and tried to get Grace to start dancing again and just pushed for things to return to normal and for Grace to fit back into the plan he had for her life, partly because of not worked through stuff and partly because of guilt that she’d missed out on so much of her life (her entire teen years were spent on the train) and he did ultimately want her to be happy but went about it in the wrong way, so for these months Grace’s mum was like a mediator trying to figure out what Grace actually wanted and needed and protect her from being pushed back into the limelight when she wasn’t ready.

- Grace’s parents got Grace a therapist and together they started figuring out what Grace actually wanted. I think Grace tried to get back into dancing professionally and while she was incredibly good because all those years she never stopped practicing, not having a professional teacher for 10 years meant she’d have to train again for a long time before she could catch up with her peers and the competition.

Also the experience of competing against other people and winning stuff and being put on a pedestal for it is part of what made her act in the harmful ways she did during Book 3. So I personally am opposed to Grace returning to the life style that hurt her. This is something Grace realises through her therapy and she deals with a lot of feelings around being unable to dance professionally when that’s what her life was leading to, but she decides to explore other options like going to school and working and goes on a self discovery journey for a few years.

- She co stars with her mum in some shows and movies after she got her an acting gig, or she sings with her, and she tries out other stuff too like working in a book shop ( 😏😏😏😏) and like idk... being the person who wears the chuck ee cheese fursuit at a chuck ee cheese restaurant just to see what it’s like and has a lot of fun. Eventually she decides that working with kids is what she wants to do, partly because she was really good at helping her kid friends get their numbers down and found it rewarding to help them, and she feels guilt that she couldn’t help Hazel in the same way, so if she can she wants to stop any other kids from feeling the same way and make a difference in people’s lives. Also as someone with a note great childhood she empathises a lot with kids that are suffering, so she applies for a course and starts doing placements.

I imagine her dad was a bit disappointed in this decision but did his best to hide it for Grace’s sake.

Other stuff that makes me :] :

- When Grace tried dancing out again after years she met Shayna again and was nervous about it because they didn’t exactly get on well as kids but Shayna apologised to her for being mean n they become friends...

Shayna also ended up on the train because I said so, she was on there because she had insecurities that made her lash out at other people to feel better and she got train snatched after facing consequences for this from people she was mean to. She was on there for a few months - around the same time period Jesse was on the train for. And she got on just as the Apex was being formed, so she and her denizen companion would come across cars that had been raided by the Apex every now and then and wonder what was going on. They also ran into Amelia once or twice and were like ????? but thought nothing serious of it.

So Shayna becomes the main person Grace confides in about her train experience and they end up becoming really good friends. Like... Grace missed huge amounts of music and films and other stuff while she was gone and is really alienated from pop culture and general conversation because she has no idea what people are talking about most of the time so Shayna and her have sleepovers and marathon all the important movies Grace missed and like... listen to music Shayna thinks she might like together.

Sometimes Shayna pranks her by making her think that something no one cares about is a really big deal like... she tells her sausage party is considered a cult classic or something. Or she lies to her about memes so Grace embarrasses herself. But it’s not malicious or like, stuff that would really embarrass her or seriously hurt her feelings. they just mess around together is what I’m getting at.

- Also Grace figures out her triggers with her therapist so stuff like the name simon and the word apex need to be avoided, and Shayna respects that and keeps it in mind when she finds stuff for them to watch together. Like they avoid the reptile section when they go to zoos and stuff too.

- Grace keeps in touch with most of the kids that used to be in the apex, and they meet up every now and again and have a big get together barbecue on the anniversary of Grace getting off the train. And if any of them came from families with financial troubles Grace and her family try to support them. Basically the kids stay a part of Grace’s life and her support circle even after the train.

- I do like to think that Grace and Lake would meet again and that Grace would have a chance to make amends. I don’t think Lake or Jesse would want Grace in their lives bc of what she did to them, but they accept her apology and wish her the best of luck in rebuilding her life.

#infinity train #infinity train book 3 #infinity train grace #grace monroe #grace infinity train #grace theory #fan theory #grace monroe headcannon #in my heart all of this and more is cannon #very invested in grace and shayna being friends #I think it's a neat inversion of grace and simon #like one is childhood enemies to friends the other is childhood friends to... not exactly enemies but nothing good #like they weren't enemies bc simon was the one attacking her while she tried to help him at the cost of her own safety and potentially life

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years

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I never wished for Gillian’s relationship to fail, but I was largely indifferent to it and it has nothing to do with Gillovny. Funny enough, I do actively dislike David’s relationship for obvious reasons.

I wasn’t super involved in the tumblr fandom during 2015-2016, but I do remember all of the fuckery that went down with David and gillian. Their behavior was what ignited dormant and new shippers. It added flames for those who never let that flame die.

So, you had all of G and D’s antics and shit, which many were going crazy over. Some notable people as well who have since distanced themselves from that era. Like most people were for this shit because whatever was going on between them was too hard to dismiss as being friendly or professional behavior. Or even harmless flirting.

Now, there are those who always insisted that G and D were acting and putting this show on for the fans. I guess to drive ratings, but this argument has always been nonsensical to me. For starters, people who are interested in Gillovny are going to watch regardless. Almost everyone else don’t give a shit and was going to watch the revival for Mulder and Scully. The things fans went crazy over wasn’t enough to even get anyone interested in the show who wasn’t already interested.

Like, the kimmel interview is mostly only interesting to someone who follows Gillovny or knows of their history. Other people would find their behavior interesting, but would they really make them watch the show??? And it’s barely even a headline.

So, what they were doing back then was enough to get philes excited, but not enough to drive ratings. Which cancels out the idea that they behaved the way they did to garner attention.

But, the naysayers kept insisting that this was all a PR ploy.

After (???) season 10 premiered, Gillian was spotted with Peter I suppose. And she kept being spotted with him. Don’t know the true timeline. But, when this happened, suddenly, these same naysayers were Gorgan. They were all in on Peter and Gillian and throwing shots at Gillovny fans and how we were “played.”

(It must be noted that just because Gillian ended up dating Peter doesn’t mean she didn’t have a thing with David. Lol)

Over time, they were gassing up this relationship and talking about Peter’s greatness and how he and Gillian balanced each other.

For me, my bullshit meter was going on.

Yes, some fans just wanted Gillian to be happy and shit, which I’m all for, but the loud gorgan supporters used this relationship to “get back” at the Gillovny crowd. I honestly don’t know how hostile it became between the two groups, but from what I did see, this support was superficial, which was proven years later.

Because, imo, how can you be for a relationship that just started and you barely know anything about it? How can you know all of this about two people you have no insight on? Gillian keeps her relationships largely private and we know even less about Peter’s relationships (read: marriage), yet there are posts about how these two are a good fit? Lol

What solidified my indifference was Gillian’s behavior. Pre like 2013, Gillian wasn’t really featured in the media all that much because she wasn’t doing any noteworthy projects. Then, she did the fall and was featured more. She was very vocal about being a feminist and shit. “Future is female”, talking about her same sex relationships, didn’t want to be in relationships unless she was in control. Isn’t this the woman who famously ended a relationship by going home and leaving her then boyfriend on the beach to find his way home? Lol.

Gillian’s image was very independent, assertive, I’m the boss, blah blah blah.

Then, she gets with Peter and it’s “he’s responsible for my success.” Peter this, Peter that, blah blah blah blah.

Gillian’s image is now submissive, insecure, handing the reigns over to her man.

That was something that made me look at her differently and not care for her relationship. It felt like whiplash from her previous image.

That image she cultivated with Peter was so contradictory in what she presented herself as while they were together. So, although I still supported her professionally, I just wasn’t here for the relationship.

Ironically enough, Gillian and Peter are the ones who come off as having the PR relationship compared to whatever David and Gillian were doing. Maybe not on the red carpet, but Gillian has (always) been silly and sexual with David. There are x files outtakes that proves this. She jokes/“jokes” with David about wanting to suck his “cock” and David has said shit to her like “did you just cum?” In many of their interviews, Gillian is the the giggly and silly.

Even when Gillian was with Mark and David was still with Tea, that dynamic was there, but a muted. 2015/16 was more pronounced, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. So, the idea that this was PR doesn’t track.

But, Gillian gets with peter and, suddenly, she has a personality change and is singing the praises of her boyfriend who she later works with.

Do I believe this was a PR relationship? Tbh, I don’t give a shit either way. But, PR relationships exist and have always existed in Hollywood. They function many ways: to bring attention to one or both parties, to deflect from (potential) rumors, to build hype for a project, etc.

Peter and Gillian were gassing each other up and shit, selling one another and their relationship. Many famous married couples don’t even talk about their spouses like them (and, yes, I believe these married couples love one another).

The thing about David and Gillian is that, even tho some thought something may have been going on around 2015, some people have always thought they were fucking at one point in time. Others think they just have massive chemistry. But, why would they need to fake a thing between them that they won’t admit to to manufacture interest in the show that people were excited to see come back? It sounds contrived, doesn’t it?

Compare that to: a well loved and acclaimed actress who hasn’t had meaty work in a while getting together with the creator and writer of a show that’s an Emmy darling. They’re always singing each other’s praise, which is noteworthy for a person who doesn’t talk about her relationship much. Who she then later works with on said show.

Which one sounds more like PR?

The actors who’ve had mad chemistry since they’ve auditioned together? Who’s chemistry never wavered even when they couldn’t stand each other and now are in a better place?

Or...

The actress and writer who talk about how wonderful their partner is and that this relationship is so mature, and then later work on his show together before breaking up a month later?

I honestly don’t think it’s absurd to have skepticism towards gorgan. Many of those adamant that gorgan was real and others are delusional are invested in gorgan because their anti Gillovny. And some did truly want to see her happy, but most weren’t invested in that way.

Whether someone thinks gorgan was real or not, I found it embarrassing on Gillian’s part. It’s probably more embarrassing if it was PR and sad if it was real.

And I know ppl will disagree with that because they found the relationship mature and supportive, but again, crediting Peter with the success of her career??? You can’t even argue, “she means now” because Gillian was getting a career resurgence and rave reviews for Stella Gibson and bedelia de murier (???). She had her role in American gods (I know it was one episode).

And in each of these roles, it was “omg! Gillian Anderson!!!”

She was so loved in Hannibal, they fucking expanded her role. And this was all pre Peter (American gods may have had some overlap).

Gillian isnt “struggling” for roles because people don’t want to hire her, she’s “struggling” because she’s trying to find roles that balances being a working actor with being a hands on mom.

And that’s why I was always “meh” about the relationship. I don’t think Peter’s a bad guy and he’s good at his job, but the way Gillian’s persona changed during this relationship was off putting and I didn’t care to get invested in them for that reason. But, as I mentioned on other occasions, the vocal support of the relationship and notable silence when they ended will always be fascinating to me. I honestly believe that gorgan support was fueled by the anti Gillovny crowd and backlash to David’s relationship (its a 🤮 for me too) and behavior towards Gillian regarding the x files’ potential continuance.

#gillian anderson #Peter Morgan #PMs tag only shows up when you type it all of the way #lol #yet I’m supposed to believe y’all talk about him a lot???#or at all?#gorgan

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bellamyblake · 3 years

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so I saw some posts in the bellarke tag (from a few bellarke) saying how season 6 bellarke was terrible and that Bellamy was out of character and would never do the things he did for Clarke that season.. and that he was bland, and the cpr scene could’ve been any sappy couple, but like ?? I loved season 6, and I thought Bellamy was in character (as opposed to season 5 where they barely interacted and had any big emotional talks after 6 years of thinking she’s dead and ugh s5 to me felt the least like them) i mean to me him doing anything for her seems like something Bellamy would do? Look at the all past seasons and all the sacrifices and thing he did for her and how protective he was over her for any little thing! I feel like Bellamy leaving everyone to save clarke would be something that would happen? And him basically in tears trying to save her as she’s dying in front of him pleading that he needs her seems in character and something they would do and it felt special and sweet to me :/ how was Bellamy bland for doing the most he can to save someone he loves?? Idk, s6 was one of my favorites for how actually romantic it was and it bums me out hearing some bellarkes hating it. How do you feel about it? Do most of the fandom think it’s ooc and Bellamy’s bland?

I think the most important fact to begin with here would be that you gotta understand something that was also a little hard for me to understand at first but that I learned fast when I got into the fandom and that is that-

Nobody judges Bellamy Blake more than his own fandom.

Literally.

I’m even gonna be as brave as to say that the pinapples might not even know what to put on his shoulders besides season 3 to blame him for every mistake but we can. We absolutely can say the worst things about him and call him anything.

You know back when I got in the fandom that was season 3 and that was the WORST time to join but haha, silly cute lil me, I knew of so many blogs and Bellamy and Bellarke fans who HATED Bellamy and refused to understand his actions which yes though questionable, were at least supposed to be put under the microscope and understood.

I knew people who hated season 2 Bellamy too which was such a surprise to me, those were mostly original season 1 fans who said that he was *too herioc* in season 2 and it *doesn’t fit his character*.

So after that, like season 3 and everything (and after Bob explained how much was missed on and not told and the better part of the season which made some fans show some mercy towards his character), I decided myself that I’ll always step back, think over everything that happens to him with as clear of a head as I can and decide for myself.

I kept doing it to the end which is also why I am the only one in the fandom who didn’t call him ooc in s7. But THAT is another subject.

I think what I mean here is that nobody and I believe that wholeheartedly is more rude or more brutal to Bellamy Blake than we are. I often felt like we as a fandom hated him more than any anti can and it broke my heart. Most of all what broke my heart was the blatant refusal to understand him or his actions.

I think after season 1 people just had this image of the bad boy rebel king with soft heart who lets Clarke and the 100 in and that was it and that still sells most to these days in fics and amongst the fandom.

That’s literally where they stopped and they refused to add anything else to his multilayered character in their heads.

ANYWAY-

You asked about season 6 and I LOVE season 6 despite most bellarkers not being fans of it. I think here it comes again a lot to fandom and how the said old gen bellarkers refused to like season 6 bellarke because apparently it wasn’t written as well, the dialogue was bad, they kept recycling stuff, I’ve seen this over and over and over again but for me, personally season 6 was a whole ass trip from beginning to end that is just that-

a love story.

His love story to Clarke.

I think through it he manages to achieve in his heart what he never got to do for her in season 4 and season 5. I have had a few friends at the time who thankfully felt the same way and we discussed the fact that-

season six is filled with all the romantic tropes that we as bellarke writers (and old gen bellarke) KEEP WRITING but complain that we never actually had

WHICH WE DO????

but somehow it is not good enough for them.

So to answer your quesiton, no, not all people in the fandom thought it was bad, but I feel like again as before with just bellamy and season 3 there was this PUSH as if on purpose, to hate this, to condemn it, to call it *not the same*. I understand what they say that yes they are not entirely the same people and here comes my next point-

THEY ARE NOT!

and newsflash-

THAT IS FINE.

I think a majority of the people refused to accept the fact that they grow as characters and they have layers added to them just as the story grew and went from one planet to another. I think not everyone can accept that and that is fine, I have no problem with that I just wish it wasn’t just so blatantly hated.

I personally think that the CPR scene is where they PEAKED in all aspects. THIS is the most they’ve been truly romantic I believe that and that it is actually expressed in the DESPERATION with which he saves her and her waking up and throwing herself in his arms. Also let’s not forget his lips touching hers which for us is like basically sex.

And after that scene came out I saw a lot of hate and I was so surprised, mainly on twitter from old bellarkers, fic writers who said LOL what a dumb scene, haha he can’t do CPR right and i was like WHAT-

WHAT-

COME AGAIN?

You were okay when she peckered his cheek for 0,02 secs and left him all the fuck alone in season 2 to deal with EVERYTHING and the kids but this is-

BAD FOR YOU?

HIm reccassitating her and begging her and crying and his own effing sister seeing his break down and then managing to get to her, to make her to pull through and her coming back and throwing herself in his arms IS BAD?

I mean I literally died there and it is still my favorite moment.

I know nobody would agree with this but I still think this is the best one. The hugs were great but at some point how many hugs can you have?

This was more. This was so much more and I loved it.

I think also there is something else when people call some scenes blind and that is that Bob was in a lot of pain filming that because of his injury. He literally couldn’t walk and had to redo some scenes from the beginning of the season back in the end when he was a little bit better so it is clear that it is very hard for him to do this but he still does his best imo and by the time the CPR scene comes he clearly is much better and it shows in his acting too (which is also why i personally love his acting in s7 it shows so much how when an actor takes care of themselves, takes a step back, recovers and comes back he literally crushes it but AGAIN i am a lone wolf in that aspect)

Anyway, here is my advice:

1.Stay out of the tags;

2. Find people who you enjoy seeing on your dash to follow and who do fit your interests in terms of the show.

3.Don’t read ppl’s opinions, frankly, don’t listen to anyone, not even me in that ask if it doesn’t sit right with you. Instead find your own thoughts and emotions.

When I first got in the fandom there was so much meta and meta blogs and you dk the hate I saw in our fandom when it came to bellamy or the wrong discorse about his actions so I just unfollowed them all and did my own thinking.

That’s what i advise you to do!

Thank you for your question, sorry for the length!

#bellarke #bellarkeedit #the 100 #meta #answered #season 6 #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #sorry for the lenght #Anonymous

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musashi · 3 years

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sending u this ask as an opportunity for u to talk to me abt fi!! i love ur thoughts n words on things nd i don't send asks as much bc i don't have. good words to talk to u abt stuff but i rlly enjoy just. ur Passion nd stuff. autistic people r the best at talking abt stuff i stand by that we r just Epic. anyways if u wanna, i'd love to hear more about just... how fi sorta. changes, over the game? like the Little Things that show her starting 2 care abt link more, or becoming more "human"!

i love this whole ask. you’re right autistic folks r sexy as hell idk how the divine powers that be fit so much passion into my tiny body but i’m glad they made the attempt.

ANYWAYS FI. i don’t think i’ve ever actually laid this out because for the most part it is incredibly subtle and requires a lot of filling in gaps yourself, and i think that someone who cares less abt her can probably come away from it with an entirely different interpretation. fi’s development of actual feelings are a very sudden a mysterious thing, and i have a LOT of thoughts about them going in a lot of different directions so forgive me if this answer isn’t particularly linear or coherent. i’m not just gonna talk about her slow burn into feeling things, i’m also gonna talk about... why i think it happens.

we don’t get to learn a lot about sword spirits and how they come into being, other than it takes great power to enchant a sword with a spirit/temper a sword with one inside it. hylia obviously created fi and, presumably, demise created ghirahim, and they are pretty much as opposite as two people can be with their only real characteristic in common being precision, intelligence & otherworldly loyalty to their respective masters.

we thus don’t get to learn how much control the creator of a sword spirit has over what kind of spirit comes of it, if their personalities are organic to their experiences or crafted from the moment they awaken. what i mean by this is like... ghirahim could have been a cold, calculating AI like fi when he was first tempered and gained his dramatics over time, we have no idea how long he’s been alive in comparison to her, if his personality is so much more extroverted because he was allowed a life outside his blade whereas fi was isolated in hers for millennia. or if he just came into creation immediately ready to scream and stick his tongue in ppl’s ears.

i swear to god i’m going somewhere with this. ok. anyways.

fi in the beginning of skyward sword is, i think, how most people remember her--data-interested, icy, and detached. there is a reverence in how she addresses link from the start, even before he formally becomes her wielder, but beyond that she is calculating and precise and rarely wastes words. all of this kinda paints a picture of hylia creating fi, to me--breathing life into the spirit and willing her to be effective, be efficient, be loyal, and be sharp. when you have that image in your head, a lot of how fi operates makes sense--she wasn’t created to have emotions, because emotions get in the way of what her purpose is. hylia made a weapon and a servant, not a friend. it sucks to think about, but that is fi’s purpose.

the game is very careful, however, to show you it’s not that simple from the beginning. because hidden in Ice Queen Fi’s introduction is... a surprising amount of personality.

like this shit, where she straightup just dunks gaepora in the trash because his #Lore is out of date. it’s hysterical because you really do not know if she’s just a) an AI who doesn’t understand when she’s being kinda Rude or b) being snarky On Purpose. and that ambiguity in itself crafts this beautiful air of mystery where you, from the get go, don’t entirely know what to expect of fi all the time.

or this, which she says directly after link hesitates to accept the blade:

this scene, which people who have edgier takes on fi constantly use to paint her as intentionally manipulative, where all i see is... her using emotional validation to calm link down enough for him to take in what’s happening. a really important thing about fi is that she’s paradoxically an empath? she can read auras and detect emotion with extreme precision even if she’s incapable of feeling it herself in the beginning. so she knows everything link is experiencing here, understands that it’s holding him back, and takes care to deconstruct the whirlwind of emotion he’s collapsing under and explain to him why he can and should trust her words.

again this is all in her introductory scene. they write her very specifically to be a seemingly flat character with this... rumbling of something more going on under the surface. so much so that the first time you get to a sacred spring and fi, completely randomly, just starts skating across the water’s surface and speaking ancient poeticisms to you, you don’t question it. you’re not like hey, why is sword alexa doing a little dance? you just accept it as something fi is doing, because fi always feels like she’s at her job, and you don’t know how she acts outside of work, but you kinda feel like maybe you want to.

fi’s affinity for music is another way they insert humanity into an AI without making you think too hard about it. singing and dancing are inherently human, artforms are something we associate with the heart and soul. even teaching a robot to paint is, in itself, an art project crafted by a human hand. but you don’t really... consciously think about that, when you watch her do these things. you just kind of accept that she is this otherworldly thing guiding you. you don’t think about the contrast of this programmed assistant performing music alongside you in a sacred ritual. you’re just kind of like, yeah? i can’t JUST play nayru’s wisdom on my harp, i need someone who can sing and god put a vocaloid in my sword???

throughout the game, fi’s dialogue chains when you summon her don’t change in any meaningful way (besides based on what you’re carrying, where you are, etc) but as you near the end, there are a couple things of note. one that sticks out to me is what she says about one of the mid-game minibosses, who is also an artificial intelligence--

a lot of people laugh abt this line and make jokes about fi being hot for the tall handsome robot pirate and they’re valid. but the thing is, like, from the beginning of her mission, fi knew she’d essentially be dying once the world was saved. and early game fi has no hesitations about her part in things regardless, because, as we know, she wasn’t created to feel things like that. she wasn’t created to fear death, to grow attached to life or anyone in it, or to experience sorrow at the idea of saying goodbye. but this is mid-game fi, who still... never says anything she doesn’t deem entirely necessary, but she says this. for no discernible reason, she says this. it’s an unskippable dialogue option, one they WANT you to see and one that is different when you know where she ends up. admiration is already something you wouldn’t really expect of her, but it’s more than that--she’s longing for her own story to mirror it. by the sand sea, fi has started to realize she doesn’t want to go to sleep.

it’s another one of those moments where you’re kinda like, ‘haha, what, fi?' and then move on. another one of those moments where she kinda does something a little unexpected, but not so unexpected you question it too hard. fi excels at those.

before you go off to fight demise, fi stops you to warn you that it is the final battle, and you cannot return. and when you tell her you’re ready, she says this:

as i’ve said, fi doesn’t waste words. almost always, everything she says is for the purpose of efficiency, and rarely does she offer thoughts without fixed probabilities and ultimate endgoals in mind.

this is a sentiment.

it serves no purpose. it is purely an expression of devotion.

and because of EVERYTHING i’ve mentioned thus far, this line both hits you HARD as significant and foreboding in how suddenly tender it is, AND manages to read as in-character for her to say. because the way they write fi’s humanity is so beneath the surface, so easily missable, so hard for me to even lay out with concrete evidence despite the fact that i’m a person who reads a text dump of all her dialogue before bed every night.

but to me, what lays out fi’s inner workings best is actually her actual goodbye, and... not the moment most people would think, tbh? it’s not her tender farewell that speaks her emotions loudest to me, but the moment right before:

these lines, which would read as perfectly in character if it were early game fi, cut you. her complete and utter flippancy, the way she talks about all you’ve been through together as though it were nothing to her, the absolute coldness here after everything. you as a player feel kind of pathetic when she says this, like you were misguided in growing attached to her and thinking of her as a friend. and you KNOW thats the intended effect, because this is what link looks like:

he takes a moment in that last shot to like. swallow sadness and turn away from her, but even as he’s turning his head, he doesn’t take his eyes off her until the last possible moment. she hurts his feelings! why.

because it’s an act, is why. of COURSE fi loves him. of course she’s grown attached to him, of course she’s happy to have known him, of COURSE they’re friends. but fi was NEVER supposed to feel that way, she was never supposed to have the capability to love, and there’s no calculation she can run to set the uncertainties of that at ease within herself. so those lines up above is her trying her best to reset herself to who she was in the beginning, to snap herself back into the role of an emotionless servant to the goddess, to convince herself--not link--that saying goodbye won’t hurt. she’s trying to cope with something she has no idea was in the cards for her, and that’s why she’s seemingly so cruel for a moment.

all of this becomes apparent when she calls him back moments later and tells him how she really feels. there’s major whiplash because fi herself is Going Thru It. but essentially what’s happening in that moment is she thinks she knows what will hurt the least, but she miscalculates and backpedals and realizes even if saying goodbye hurts, it hurts less than pretending she doesn’t want to.

i think a lot of people overlook that line--“the most precious data i have on record.” fi, who contains multitudes within her. who contains knowledge immeasurable, the thoughts and feelings and stories of thousands. of civilizations, of gods, of countless ages passed. everything she holds within her is dwarfed entirely by what she feels for link, beside link. nothing in her encyclopedic knowledge can even compare to her friendship with him in the significance it has to her. like all things, fi has her own way of communicating her meanings, and this is her way of saying she really, truly loves him.

in addition, she very carefully does this after he abandons the sword, so it’s clear that it’s of her own will, not a part of her purpose as his servant. for this whole cutscene, up until she end, she drops the honourific and calls him just Link.

and while i see a lot of people debate if she truly does ‘feel,’ anything, like... she says it right here, she does. whether or not she was able to feel from the beginning or not, she can feel now. she has trouble putting words to those feelings, or explaining to herself and others where on earth they came from... but she feels now. that cannot be disputed.

happiness that she was able to know him. loyalty she wants to transcend lifetimes. sorrow at the idea of them having to part. gratitude that he took the chance, and did so beside her.

let’s talk about gratitude.

in skyward sword, gratitude is a tangible source of magic. it opposes malice, which as of botw is a reoccurring thing in zelda lore. skyward sword has two items--evil crystals and gratitude crystals--that represent malice and gratitude respectively. while the first isn’t entirely relevant, the second is something you’re actively encouraged to more or less harvest by helping people and basking in their thanks toward you. these feelings of gratitude are so canonically powerful in the zelda universe that they can turn monsters into humans entirely, and the outpouring of energy that event causes makes every monster & hostile creature within all of skyloft turn docile at once.

according to batreaux, the monster in question, this is well-established legend, the idea of gratitude granting humanity to the nonhuman. skyward sword literally said the power of love was canon.

the song that plays over the goodbye, of course, is called fi’s gratitude.

this is just one theory i have on the matter, but... whether hylia intended or foresaw fi to be capable of feeling human emotion or not, i do believe it was gratitude that woke her heart up. whether she was meant to love or not, link’s spirit contained within it enough love for the both of them, enough to touch her soul and rouse her from her cold and emotionless state. as always, through everything, they work in perfect tandem--his passionate heart touches hers as it sleeps, her wisdom holds him steady and level-headed.

when fi says “may we meet again in another life,” she says it like a prayer, because it is one--she knows hylia, knows that hylia loved link’s spirit just as she did, and knows that hylia of all people understands what the sword spirit is going through. and fi also knows that hylia immortalizes those she loves with cycles, with reincarnation, eternal life without the pain of never dying. fi doesn’t have a soul that hylia can bring back from death nor a physical body to revive, but she works with what she can--and so long as link’s spirit breathes anew, he finds fi. in a sunlit grove, with light bearing down on her, safe and warm and always loyal, even as the world rages on outside. fidelis, she was named for--“faithful.”

the fandom doesn’t really talk abt it, but fi is an angel. she’s an angel god sent to watch over one human, and when god said your mission is complete fi faced god and walked backwards into hell. her divine mission is long passed, but it stopped being about what she was fated to do long ago.

fi began to watch over link because he was her master. and fi resolved to stay forever because he was link.

#skyward sword #long post #hand of sorrow #wendy rambles #Anonymous #wendy answers

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