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mcustorm · 4 years

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45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal.

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* - Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

youtube

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy.

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations!

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

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crazyscotsmanthe1st · 4 years

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The Crown

You know me, I’m not a monarchist or a Royal-watcher. I view the Royals with a healthy dose of cynical apathy. I’m not necessarily in favour of getting rid of them, but I’m not necessarily completely against it. I’d have to be persuaded of the alternative - who would be our head of state, how would it be decided, how would our constitution be arranged going forward? Only when these questions are satisfactorily answered would I consider voting in favour of a Republican agenda. But I wouldn’t rule it out.

So I’m perhaps not someone you’d expect to be glued to Netflix’s glossy high-profile drama series, The Crown. But there I was, enthusing about the trailers for season 4, keeping an eye on the release date, and binge-watching it over a couple of evenings. For all the world like one of the muppets you see in the crowd at any Royal appearance, minus the union flag and the shrieking sycophancy.

When I first became vaguely aware of the series shortly after the release of season 1, I wasn’t much interested. I assumed it would be an exercise in jingoistic hero-worship, porn for Pimm’s drinkers. I turned my cynical, lefty nationalist nose up at it. Not for me, yer maj.

But then I saw a clip on YouTube with Winston Churchill, played by John Lithgow, making a scene at the wedding of the then-Princess Elizabeth and Philip Mountbatten, i.e. the future Queen and Prince Philip. It piqued my interest sufficiently to watch a few more clips, then eventually to commit to actually watching the series.

The fact that an actor of Lithgow’s status had been lured, and was featuring so prominently, was a good sign. The role of the Queen’s first Prime Minister was not going to be a bit-part or a cameo. A lot of focus was clearly going to be on constitutional politics, and the social context in which the Queen’s early reign took place.

This was indeed the case, as we saw a young monarch, played superbly by Claire Foy, navigating her first steps with the help of a wily and experienced, but elderly and often truculent Churchill in his second period in office. She is beginning her reign just as he is approaching the end of his, and we see the dynamic change between them as she goes from relying on the wisdom of a grandfatherly mentor, to putting up with a silly old duffer who can’t accept his time is up. The story of season 1, aside from all the personal stuff between Elizabeth and Philip, is that transfer of energy as Elizabeth grows and Churchill recedes.

There’s also a lot of effort put into establishing background. Clothes, vehicles, aircraft, music, news articles... It’s all very 50s. For people who remember the decade, it’s probably very nostalgic. For the rest of us, it’s educational on the fringes. It gives us a good feel for the times.

Seasons 2 and 3 are also very strong in these departments, taking us through the political turmoils and social changes of the 60s and into the 70s. The cast change between seasons 2 and 3, when Olivia Colman replaces Claire Foy as the Queen, and a host of other older actors step in, is done as smoothly as was probably possible. You soon get used to the new faces, and any bumps in continuity are barely noticeable.

Special mention should go to the episode handling the Aberfan disaster in season 3. It’s powerful, moving television and I’d encourage anyone to watch it, regardless of whether they’ve seen the rest of the series. It stands alone as a poignant comment on the tragedy. The actor Jason Watkins gives a brilliant performance as Harold Wilson throughout season 3, and in the Aberfan episode in particular. Wilson’s exit in the last episode of the season, when he resigns because of deteriorating mental health, is another touching human moment.

You’ll notice I’m focussing more on the social-political events rather than the lives of the Royals, and of course that reflects my own interest. The personal and family dramas of the Royals play out alongside the bigger events, and indeed sometimes take up full episodes. But the makers of The Crown are very clever at including something for everyone. Royal worshippers and history/political geeks alike will be satisfied, and willing to put up with the “filler” to get to the good stuff.

Season 4 was built up to be the biggest yet, and the publicity was turned up to the max. We were given tantalising glimpses of Gillian Anderson as the devil Thatcher, and a young Diana played by Emma Corrin. For people of my generation, the show is finally dealing with events that took place during my lifetime, albeit that I was too young to care at the time.

Having watched season 4, I can report that it did not disappoint. Gillian Anderson was... spooky. She nailed the devil Thatcher’s rigidness, toughness and inability to compromise. The callous insistance that her policies were for the greater good, even in the face of immense opposition and human suffering, her social awkwardness at Balmoral, her bitterness and disbelief when her cabinet finally ousted her - all beautifully portrayed.

But even Anderson was eclipsed by the true star of this season. Even though I was more interested in the political stuff and usually don’t care much for the personal drama, Emma Corrin’s vulnerable, endearing and captivating performance as Diana completely stole the show. Even cynical old me was utterly swept up in the Shakespearian drama of a naive young lady who thinks she’s marrying a handsome prince from a fairytale, only to find very quickly that she’s become a prisoner in a loveless marriage, and is doomed to forever play second fiddle to her husband’s mistress. The joy turning to ashes. The fragile hope of youth giving way to bitter frustration and disappointment. Emma Corrin plays an absolute blinder.

There’s been a lot of discussion about “accuracy” in the press, to which the actors and production team have rightly responded that the show is a work of fiction, albeit heavily inspired by real events. Since a lot of the “accuracy” they’re discussing is to do with details of the Royals’ personal lives, most of it is hearsay anyway. And I don’t care.

I see the show not so much as a drama about the Royals, but more a social commentary on the last half century - told through the eyes of one posh family.

So if you haven’t watched any of it yet, I recommend you get stuck in. One won’t regret it.

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hopevalley · 5 years

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I’m back, and with the usual nonsense.

I’ve been thinking about that potential novelization again. Heck, I dreamed a while back that I was going to tweet Hallmark to ask “permission” to do it (but ended up tweeting them in the dream to novelize the Wedding March series instead). It’s fanfic. I don’t need permission to write it!!! (Dream!Me was stressed out at the idea that Hallmark could say yes, because then I’d be locked into writing it. I’m still marveling at Dream!Me’s confidence.)

I’m gonna ramble about the potential for a novelization of When Calls the Heart here, just ‘cause I can. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and nowhere to put them. Read on if you’d like!

I like When Calls the Heart! I really do. It’s had its ups and downs, but overall things have been pretty darn awesome.

I don’t think any of us would be here if there wasn’t something about the show that really captured us, took us by storm. For some people it was the romance. For others, the friendships. I know people who watch the show for specific characters or character arcs (Henry comes to mind), or because they like the feel-good nature of the series while it deals with some realistically awful situations/issues; the Lee and Rosemary and the infertility plotline that popped up in S6 comes to mind, here.

Honestly, I wish I could trust someone else to novelize the tv series the way I’d like to see it done. Unfortunately I’m a picky baby and I have very specific ideas of what these characters are like from a more intimate POV than we get with the show, so...if I want it done, I gotta do it myself. (RIP my free time, though.)

The biggest roadblock, though is...feedback.

This fandom is notorious for being terrible about ‘participating’ and fanfic isn’t everyone’s cup of tea anyway. Imagine working your tail off to produce a well-crafted novelization of the series only for it to get ignored. I’d probably never write again...and that’s not me being dramatic, either. I think it’s fair to say “my time is worth something” and stick to that. It is. My time is worth a lot to me. I could use it to clean the house, do dishes, spend time with my husband, play with the cats, clean the yard, do gardening, work longer hours and get paid, play video games, crochet, et cetera. I have an endless supply of hobbies! It’s harder than it sounds, because it means I can’t ever dedicate tons of time to just, you know, one of them. On the plus side it means I’ve got something waiting in the wings no matter what mood I’m in!

The possibility exists that the story would be a surprise success, too. I mean, I doubt it (judging by the numbers, fanfic for this series isn’t that popular), but...you never know! Jack and Elizabeth are a focal point of the first few seasons and a novelization of the series would also support this.

Anyway, I think I said before that I was toying with the idea of pre-writing five chapters, posting them a week or two apart, and gauging interest based off of that. If people aren’t interested, I can abandon the project early enough into it that nobody has to feel sad about it. If people are into the idea, and take the time to comment on the chapters... Well, it looks like I’d have to keep going.

It’s just a struggle to get started.

For two reasons.

The first is the possibility of failure. Now, you could say it’s not a failure if you complete the project, or no time spent on a hobby is wasted, but for me that just isn’t true—at least not completely. Writing is a hobby, but it’s a very personal hobby. I pour a lot of myself into those stories, into storytelling, and the very point of writing for me, especially when I post it online, is the social aspect of it. Fanfiction is a social hobby! When nobody comments on the story, nobody favorites it, nobody bookmarks it...

Well, I might as well have just left it all in my head and not taken the time to write it down.

The second is...Elizabeth, and by extension, Jack. And, uh, by extension of that, Jack/Elizabeth.

Hear me out!

I think both characters have some good foundations going for them. Season 2 shattered a lot of the good things they had going on for the Dramaz (which I wholeheartedly disagree with), but I feel fully capable of warping the S2 events to better suit the characters we ended up with (and to avoid some of the unnecessary meaningless drama that never did sit right with me). I just feel like both characters are...a little bit...empty? And especially for focal characters, they need depth that the show just simply refused to provide outside of Dramatic Situations.

I’ve been working through some of that in my head. Something I always liked about Elizabeth was how she unapologetically enjoyed being rich! Whether she was in Coal Valley or Hamilton she sported fashionable things. She loved going shopping with her sisters, dressing up for dinner, et cetera. Her vague ignorance of people like Abigail visiting (welcome in the house, but definitely unaware of ‘dressing for dinner’) was this really nifty mix of like...endearing and frustrating. I think playing that up a little further, or rather...bringing it to the forefront, might be a great idea.

Speaking of Abigail, I think the character was an excellent addition to the series in the beginning and I’d prefer to continue along those lines, here. I’d fully plan to include her, but with my own slight twist on things; she stays Abigail. No Lorigail.

I can’t decide exactly what to do with some of the other characters, though. I greatly enjoyed Cat and her children, and as Emily is still around later I feel like I’d want to keep her around, but she needs a role to fill and it doesn’t feel quite right to relegate her to the very background when Elizabeth spent the first season going up to bat for her. I think I could figure it out easily enough, but it’s another consideration I’m up against.

Of course, this is all kind of hinging on the idea that the first five chapters would be met with some measure of success, because if people kind of shrugged over them it won’t matter what I do with Cat or anyone else.

Anyway I feel like it should be stated outright that I have no real intentions of completely altering anything...at this time. That could definitely change, though, if the readerbase wanted it badly enough and I felt it was appropriate. There are some things that I think need more attention, but that’s not the same as altering events, per se. Bill as a character comes on really mysterious but what’s the point of writing him that way when the entire potential readerbase already knows he’s married? Already knows about the counterfeit plotline? It might actually be more fun to get into his head and write some of those scenes from his perspective (third person limited, not first person; I despise first person). Then we have his reasoning (stupid or not) instead of the mystery.

Therein lies the reasoning necessary for anyone to actually start reading it in the first place: it offers something the tv show doesn’t (because text-based mediums can get into people’s heads and narratively examine their psyche) but doesn’t actually deviate hard from what people already know and like about the show. I guess you could say that it’s giving them more of what they like?

I think the difficult part of balancing a novelization has to do with the points of view; do you pick a few and stick with those? Do you GRRM it up and everyone gets it sometimes, or do you choose the scenes and select the narrative based specifically on how that scene would best be told, which could result in some people having more scenes than others?

I’m leaning a little toward the latter with the idea that some characters will probably never get their own scenes, because if a character is only allowed to have one, why bother even giving them that? I’m not sold on the idea though, because I can’t even choose a character who wouldn’t get a scene. Probably characters who just aren’t around enough for it to matter? I’m thinking about characters like Greta (the investor) or Jenkins (bank manager) more than I am even characters like Ray Wyatt, ‘cause at least Ray sticks around in the story for a reasonable period of time (and therefore might deserve a scene or two along the way).

(Though I mean, I can’t say for sure. We all know what happens to these characters, so maybe I’d have to stick with giving characters scenes who will eventually join the ensemble of Hope Valley? Hm.)

I guess it’s something to think about.

Rolling again with the assumption that the story is a success (let’s just be confident, here!) there are future aspects of the series that didn’t really do it any favors and/or weren’t presented in a satisfactory manner.

I’ll give a few examples off the top of my head: Season 2′s drama, Lorigail, AJ and Bill’s weird relationship dynamic, wedding drama for Jack and Elizabeth.

I can swallow a lot of nonsense! I like drama...when it’s interesting and done well. What I don’t appreciate is the cheap stuff, designed to fling a roadblock in the way of a romantic couple. Jack and Elizabeth didn’t need Charles to make things feel off/weird/bad, or for Jack to be made to feel unwelcome. I personally think the entirety of the S2 plot could be better shaped and molded for the characters. We can still have drama, but not at the expense of the characters’ integrity!

Just throwing ideas out there, but in the novels Elizabeth’s original contract was only for a year, so when that year was up and it was the summer break from school, she returned to Hamilton and waited to hear from Coal Valley to find out if she’d be invited back there for the next school term. I’m not against Elizabeth’s mother falling ill to get her back to Hamilton, but I’d prefer if her...extended stay there didn’t hinge of iffy (flimsy) health stuff. They resolved that way too neatly and it was just... I don’t know. It could have been better done, maybe to offset the potential for drama.

As far as Lorigail goes, I think Abigail taking on a role in town as part of the town council and eventually stepping up as mayor should come at a cost, and those costs eventually lead to her giving up her role as mayor (which would take care of a lot of the lorigail issues of her just being involved in everything). Obviously this is so far in the future it’d hinge on a very successful story overall, but I’m busy being confident so I’m willing to entertain the idea that someday I’d have to address this.

AJ also doesn’t show up for a very long time but her introduction was pretty mediocre, and Bill’s reaction to her (not chasing her down instantly) didn’t make a lick of sense. Bill isn’t easily swayed by anyone’s dumb opinion, and he’s not a romantic in the traditional sense so it’s hard to imagine a kiss from a stranger made him slack on his job duties. An easy fix here would just be to show the good moments that had to have existed between the bad ones. The only reason Bill would let AJ go without even trying to find her is if he feels that 1) she doesn’t deserve to be jailed, and/or 2) she’s safer if she’s free. It’s not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but I think it’d be a real shame not to ‘fix’ the issue while possible.

Finally, with the wedding drama... Honestly they didn’t need any of it. The church didn’t need to burn. If we want wholesome content: there’s been a bit of a drought and there aren’t any nice flowers for the wedding, so Elizabeth’s dad remembers that his girls used to like making paper flowers and organizes everyone to use colored paper to make them so they can string them up in the church. I mean, something little like that doesn’t really change the backbone of the story we’re getting (I mean, we’re here for Jack and Elizabeth’s wedding, a celebration of happiness, not for the drama that ends up being completely meaningless). Cute mishaps on the wedding day would be much better/more interesting/tell a better story.

(Or maybe Bill just about completely misses the wedding and then we get Lee and Rosie’s rings being used, which sort of ties in with how close Elizabeth gets with them in S6 storylines...)

The more I think about it, the more potential for an amazing story I find in this, and the more excited I get.

Henry is SUCH an interesting character; it would be amazing to get into his head early on.

Imagine getting to see Elizabeth and Abigail’s friendship actually form.

Clara’s relationship with other people, like Abigail and Elizabeth, but also exploring the specific kind of grief she feels vs. the grief Abigail feels and how that might clash/be different.

Exploring the different relationships the women in town had with their husbands. Some were obviously still in love, some not so much, others ready to move on quickly and a few completely closed to the idea.

A schoolhouse/group of kids that isn’t replaced every ten seconds and remains somewhat consistent...

Getting to write Jack and Elizabeth actually falling in love over the big and the little things.

Elizabeth as a passionate teacher.

Characters dealing with nightmares, good dreams, dreams about their friends or potential love interests... I want to see real raw human emotion, here! The good stuff, definitely, but maybe some of the bad, too, because writing the different ways they deal with it could be...fun.

Abigail being Abigail and staying Abigail... ♥

HOBBIES being a part of everyday life!!

CHURCH!!!!! SERMONS! Worship! Gathering together for meals!

Rewriting some of the dangerous scenes to actually FEEL dangerous.

Writing in Julie’s perspective would be SO much fun.

Including travel time for the big events and shaping the world into a place where time MATTERS aaaaaa that’s so fun too!

Anyway, I’m rambling. I just really, really love the idea of writing this. I have so many thoughts and ideas I want to do, all without deviating too far from the source material that we all love so much.

It’s just hard to feel like I should spend my free time on it...but lately it’s really been gnawing at me, so...

We’ll see! It could be a lot of fun just to try. At least if I try, I’ll know. If I don’t, I’ll probably always wonder what might have happened if I had.

#when calls the heart #wcth reimagined #long post

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shawol9196 · 5 years

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Poly AU: Ch 8.3/Prelude? / ? (read on AFF)

But Jinki doesn’t have to share that part of the story. Nor the part later in the night when he finds out that it’s Minho’s first kiss.

Jinki agrees to meet with Minhyuk on a Wednesday for lunch. Minho’s in class and Kibum has a new project to work on, so he figures it’ll be something good to do. They meet at a diner close to the apartment; Minhyuk’s there waiting for him when he gets there.

“Hey! Glad you could make it. Was traffic bad?” MInhyuk asks as Jinki slides into the booth.

“I just walked since the weather was nice. Have you been waiting long?”

“Oh no, maybe five minutes or so.”

“That’s a relief.”

He sits down and orders a drink when the waiter passes by.

“I hope I’m not impeding on any prior plans of yours, Jinki.”

“Oh, not at all.”

“I just wanted to give you some details about the wedding and ask you a few questions that I’ve been wondering but just never get the chance to ask when we all meet up like normal.”

Jinki nods. He waits for him to continue, but they’re interrupted by the return of the waiter.

“So, I guess I’ll ask my wonderings first, that way if we need to make any plan modifications we’ll only have to talk about it once?”

“Works for me.”

“So, the thing I guess I’m most curious about is how you and Minho ended up getting together? I know you’ve said that he’s been understandably quiet about family, but did he know who you were, in terms of family, or-”

Minhyuk’s cut off by a phone ringing. He reaches for his phone, slumping a bit as he answers. With a sigh he starts getting out of the booth.

“I’m so sorry, I have to take this. I’ll be back momentarily.”

Jinki nods in understanding, watching Minhyuk walk outside. He chuckles to himself a little: it was rather uncommon for people to ask specifically about his and Minho’s relationship. Normally all anyone wanted to know about was how a relationship of three works.

***

It was almost the end of the semester. Their big project wasn’t quite due yet, but it was definitely getting to crunch time. Seemingly against his own will, he found himself becoming fond of his projectmates. He was at a party, he didn’t even know who’s, when he ran into a familiar face.

“Jinki! Is that you, Jinki?”

“Minho! Hey dude.”

Minho beamed at the confirmation that it was in fact Jinki. By the rosy tint to his cheeks and the red solo cup in his hand, Jinki can tell that whether or not he’s old enough, Minho’s had more than a little bit to drink. Minho reaches out for his arm, and though it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, there’s something different about it today. Whether it’s because of Minho’s confession of feelings for him or because of the lost, lonely look on Minho’s face, Jinki feels concerned.

“Who are you here with?” Jinki asks, shouting over the music.

“I came with my roommate and his friend because their friend’s friend is the one who’s throwing this party but I can’t find them now.”

“Have you tried calling them?”

Minho shakes his head. It’s exaggerated, almost cute in a way. “I don’t know their numbers and my phone is dead.”

“Just stay with me for awhile, we’ll do a round around the place and see if we can find them ok?”

Minho nods and they start making their way through people. It’s a proper house they’re in and it’s rather packed, so Jinki lets Minho link their arms together. They finish searching the bottom floor to no avail before making their way to the second floor. When they still don’t see them, they make their way outside, to the backyard. The fresh air does Jinki good. He doesn’t know why he even came. Beside him, Minho’s starting to panic.

“I don’t have a ride home now I don’t know how to get back to the dorm I didn’t pay attention to the way we came what am I gonna do?”

Jinki can see where his car is parked and guides Minho towards it. He leans on the hood and gestures for him to do the same.

“Well, first we’re going to sit here until you calm down. There’s no need to panic. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

Minho nods and takes a deep breath; Jinki lets him continue holding onto his arm.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me, I know you’d rather be in there than dealing with me.”

“Actually I was thinking about leaving when you found me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I came with a friend but he’s much more life of the party than I am. I usually don’t go to parties. I guess it’s lucky for you I did though.”

Minho hums.

“How much have you had to drink, Minho?”

They both look at the now empty cup in Minho’s hand.

“Like....two of these? I think? But I don’t know what was in them, my roommate got them for me.”

“Have you ever drank before?”

“No.”

“How old are you?”

There’s hesitation and Jinki laughs. “I promise I’m not a cop, Minho. If you’re of age, I was going to offer to drive you back to campus for you to try and find your way home.”

“I’m twenty.”

“Alright, so that’s out.”

“Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, bud. I’ve done it too. It’s all part of the experience.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Jinki feels his phone going off in his pocket and unlocks it to five variations of “you left already?”

“Minho, did you feel ok at my apartment when you and Kibum came over to work on the project?” He tilts his head, tries to take a sip from his empty cup. “Yeah, I felt okay there. Why?”

“If you want to, you can come crash at my place.”

“Really?”

“Here’s some clothes so you don’t have to put those back on after you shower or like sleep in them or anything. The underwear are new out of the package so you don’t have to worry about catching anything from me.”

Minho takes the clothes and pauses before shutting the door.

“Thank you for letting me stay, Jinki.”

Jinki sits on the couch and relaxes when he hears the water start running. He thinks back to Minho’s confession the week before. With projects and other homework due, he hasn’t had time to consider his own feelings. It’s been a while since he dated, been a while since he’s felt affection for anyone. Kibum had made a comment or two about Minho recently, concerning both his good looks and sweet personality. As he waits, Jinki weighs out the good and the bad points of Minho. Sure he could be a little dramatic and seemed to have more than a few issues on his plate, but even putting his looks aside, Jinki couldn’t help but feel fondness for Minho’s sweet and bright personality. He doesn’t realize that the shower’s done until he feels a dip in the couch and turns to see Minho sitting down next to him. He seems a bit more sober, though his cheeks are still pink.

“What are you watching?” Minho asks, pointing at the tv.

Jinki hadn’t even realized he turned it on.

“I just turned it on for noise, you can change it if you want.”

“Oh no, it’s fine.”

“What kind of phone do you have? I might have a charger you can use?”

“It needs a mic...micro...”

“MicroUSB?”

“Yeah! Sorry, technology isn’t my strong suit...” “It’s alright, bud. There should be a charger in one of the outlets in the kitchen if you want to try it.”

Minho gets up and scurries away. Jinki looks at the tv, trying to determine what exactly he’s watching: the scene isn’t well-lit, but he can mostly make out what seems to be a couple kissing. He doesn’t recognize the name and checks the synopsis. Of course he would pick a period drama full of romance.

“Oh I love this story!”

“You recognize it? I can barely see it.”

Minho plops down and begins rattling off details about the story that Jinki truthfully couldn’t care less about. But the enraptured glee in Minho’s face? Jinki is very interested in that so he leaves the movie on and tries his best to focus on what Minho’s saying and not just the way he chews his lip as he thinks. It takes all his effort not to reach out for Minho, not to kiss him until he’s quiet; and yet for all his efforts that’s exactly what he finds himself doing.

But Jinki doesn’t have to share that part of the story. Nor the part later in the night when he finds out that it’s Minho’s first kiss. And especially not the fact that Minho spent the whole weekend. And the weekend after, and the weekend after, and the...

“Sorry, business stops for no man.”

Jinki’s mind snaps back to the present at Minhyuk’s words.

“Oh, no worries. I understand.”

Minhyuk smiles cautiously. “It is nice to know that at least one of you do.”

There’s a lull and the waiter comes back to take their orders.

“So, you and Minho. What’s the story? I know you two met in that class, but when did you two call it official?”

“Well, our first date as a couple was to this performance of a Christmas Carol at a historic home.”

#pau #pau writing #its been....so long #like...7 months i think #i had this in my drafts for a long time #before i wrote the prelude ch #its a little shorter than i wanted #n ill probably end up using the flashback part in a proper prelude ch #esp if/when i feel up to writing sm*t stuff again #minho #jinki #onho

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manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Soulless Riffing: Brainless Epilogue

I got a supernatural action/romance book series as a gift that’s just riddled with stuff that I hate….and as a steampunk Victorian London action romance story filled with werewolves and vampires…it’s yeah gonna be easy to poke fun at.

I just want to say, it’s totally cool if you like this story or ones like it! It’s certainly a better caliber than a lot of what I make fun of…however…I can’t help but want to make fun of it.

Over here for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7+8, 9, 10+11, 12, 13, and 14.

HERE’S THE FINAL CHAPTER, STRAP IN MY HEARTIES!

Epilogue

So, dang, this epilogue’s pace is the worst. It’s so bad, if I recounted the events in the order they appeared I feel as if this riff would have a bad pace itself.

So there’s this detached, braggadocios tone that describes two separate portions of the wedding in two totally separate parts of chapter. I can boil it down to this actual quote, “The wedding was hailed as a masterpiece of social engineering and physical beauty.”

It starts off with almost an entire page of describing the dress. I mean sure, but fashion isn’t my thing so my eyes glaze over. Also that they had to redesign the dress at the last minute cause Maccon gave her a hickey that needed to be hid. And I mean, isn’t that what we need to educate our young women about?

Man’s every careless sexual impulse needs to be catered to even if it greatly inconveniences everyone else. Why can’t you just cover it up with make-up? Why is this adult novel treating a marriage of adults like a middle-school dance? WHO KNOoooOoOoooOooOOOWS?????

BUT THIS WAS ALL FOR THE BETTER cause the neckline of her dress inspired London’s fashion for a whole 3 weeks.

Here’s an accurate attempt at me trying to understand this, “I guess it’s nice to have rich idiots incinerate and rebuild their wardrobe because of a thing you wore once. But why stop there? I’d create an army of genderqueer flannel-babies out to hate read harmless fiction.” Yes Faps, your interests are clearly superior to those who like to dress feminine. Way to go!

We have a full page on the food which was more interesting but in a limited way because I have not had guinea fowl, aspic jelly, pigeons, sole, woodcock pie, pheasant, or grouse. But like, I’m not uncultured or anything! I’ve had alligator meat before! ….oh damn my American is showing real bad right now. DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST GOING TO HIDE BEHIND A WALL OF IMPERIALISTIC WAR CRIMES! But that’s okay cause the British can relate to that.

Personally I’d much rather the story brag about delicious food it’s likely the audience has had before, than just throwing out stuff that sounds period appropriate. Cause honestly? My imagination does not think any of that would be tasty. My dream wedding is definitely forcing near a thousand people (most of whom I’ve met only once) to pick at gamey meat and envy my dedication to an inconsiderate buffoon.

But before the wedding officially goes down we have the one and only nice scene. Alexia wakes up Akeldama early so he can see the sunset before her wedding. There was no reason for her to do it that day, since it made her late to her own wedding, but dangit it was nice.

However the actual wedding? Phew boy, there is no talk of the actual ceremony. In fact there’s no cute speeches, dancing, bonding moments between friends or family, or even funny drama of the werewolves clashing with the humans. I mean it would have been super annoying to have a scene where Alexia’s sister shrieks at one of the werewolves for drinking punch out of a bowl like a dog, and when she tries to rip it from him it spills all over herself. Cause there’s no reason to cathartically enjoy seeing her sister humiliated but dang…it would have at least been SOMETHING ALMOST FUN!

Three things happened during the reception.

1.) Alexia and Prof. Lyall hook Ivy up with some BARELY named servant to Maccon and Lyall. Like, you realize the trope of shacking up the side characters is supposed to be this cute little tying together of established characters, usually very different ones? Like it’s supposed to kinda help wrap things up by having separate parts of the story literally cum errr I mean come together. Like, the obvious and decent choice, would have been Lyall and Ivy. Hell if you needed Lyall for other nonsense, why not that Haverblink hunk guy Ivy was I THINK drooling over? Took a fun trope and wasted it.

2.) Alexia is ~gifted~ the Vampire hive servant Angelique. Gosh I’m super looking forward to the part where Angelique realizes vampires are chumps and betrays them for the super cool Alexia. I thought since she was named and pleading with Alexia for help earlier, she’d be damsel’d, or comes back later with more secret info, or was the villain mastermind AFTERALL! NOPE! This human person with a name, hopes, fears, goals, thoughts, and emotions of her own is given like a decorative silverware basket as a GOD DAMN WEDDING GIFT! AND ALEXIA THINKS THAT’S FINE CAUSE TO HER HUMAN BEINGS ARE PROPERTY AND SHE’S OUR RACISM FIGHTING HERO! HOORAY!

3.) Sorry to save the most tepid for last but the last thing of note is that Maccon’s werewolf pack, as part of werewolf tradition turn into wolves and just circle around them barking and howling….okay cool cool…but have you considered the more wolf thing to do would totally be for all of them to pee on her. ONE AT A TIME, THEY’RE CIVILIZED! Her new husband gets all offended that she’s upset at this wholesome tradition. Alexia secretly plots to bring supernatural genocide back into vogue again.

So on the carriage ride home they fuck but we have an entire book worth of build up for this scene to last 1 page. Like, I wasn’t even looking forward to it but was still disappointed. And, of course, this is one of those books that can’t directly mention SEX PARTS which SPOILER ALERT usually makes it confusing if you can’t be fucking straightforward. Despite being all coy about it there’s the iffy phrase, “had Alexia squirming in such a way as to force the very tip of him inside her whether she willed it or no.”

Yeesh! As hot as you folks may find ravishment, it feels really out of place with a woman who’s supposed to be super horny and into her husband for it to still be written noncommittally like ravishment.

But with a lurch of the carriage he’s blamo balls deep and she says out loud that it hurts. He DOES look worried and ask her if it still does. So kudos! However there’s this infuriating line

“Something extremely odd and tingly was beginning to occur in her nether regions.”

Okay you weren’t aroused until he was balls deep, and we’re going to describe this as if a 26 year old woman (whom by the way has described being aroused by this man before, and describes being fascinated with her dad’s dirty books) is bamboozled that a dick in her made her horny.

(Man looking confused and a bit suspect as he says okay.)

Also “It culminated in the most intriguing second heartbeat emerging around the area where he had impaled himself.”

WHAT!? YOU CAN’T SAY PUSSY BUT WE’RE GOING TO THROW THE WORD IMPALED IN THERE?

(Brittney Spears looking cringed out.)

That gives me the yikes.

She flops over after what sounds like 2 minutes of porking to remark, “Ooo,” said Alexia, fascinated, “it shrinks back down again. The books didn’t detail that occurrence.”

OKAY 1ST OF ALL YOU LEGIT SAW THIS HAPPEN BEFORE WHEN YOU WERE DRY-HUMPING IN THE DUNGEON, BUT EVEN IF YOU HADN’T, WAS SHE UNDER SOME DELUSION THAT WHEN A DUDE GETS HIS 1ST BONER THAT’S JUST WHAT HIS DICK IS NOW?

YOU’D THINK CODPIECES WOULD STILL BE IN FASHION IF EVERY MAN IS SLINGING AROUND HIS ERECTION 100% OF THE TIME!

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID ALEXIA!?

If you wanted a cute little sexy thing to mention…why not, “Oh my dad’s books never mentioned that it throbbed! Or that it could twitch! Or that it got SO red! Or that it got THAT hard, it’s only full of blood afterall!”

LE SIGH!

So the story ends with the prospect of them gonna fuck sum more.

Say something Nice Faps:

I legit really liked that brief scene where she holds Lord Akeldama’s hand as they watch the sunrise, and he’s crying, and she’s got her head on his shoulder and just PRECIOUS!

Out of the things to brag about at a wedding, food is the top of my list, I can appreciate that she dedicated some time to it.

The sex had a bit of that ravishment flavor but Maccon does check in, and she admits she enjoys it.

IT’S OVER!

#soulless #brainless #riffing

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lilyvandersteen · 6 years

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Puppy Eyes Chapter 21

Well, this is it... The ending! Enjoy! I may add an epilogue if you'd like a glimpse into their lives years later. Let me know :-)

Thank you so much to everyone who sends me feedback - you’re wonderful and you spur me on to keep writing :-)

This story is also on AO3 and on Fanfiction.net.

The other parts can be found here: Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20

Chapter 21: The Wedding

After breakfast that Sunday, Kurt steered Blaine to the sofa for a much-needed conversation. It was all too easy to get lost in pleasure and just roll along with whatever Blaine had in mind, but Kurt knew that they needed to discuss their relationship and their future.

What Kurt hadn’t counted on was the phrase “We need to talk” scaring Blaine, who had to be reassured they weren’t breaking up.

Now where did you get that idea? I don’t want to break up with you ever. I want you for keeps, honey.

Blaine told Kurt he was planning on proposing, and Kurt, remembering some of the more outlandish proposal ideas he’d read on the post-its in his scrapbook, warned Blaine not to go overboard, and to keep it private. As romantic as it seemed to be proposed to in a carriage in Central Park or at the top of the Empire State Building, Kurt didn’t want an audience. He wanted the moment to be just about them.

Blaine agreed to that, and also to looking for a place together. Kurt was relieved. He knew Blaine owned his apartment, and he’d thought he’d want to stay there.

Blaine didn’t put up any objections about waiting to have children, either, and went along with the plan to adopt a dog. So much so that later that afternoon, they found themselves at the local animal shelter, petting a mini dachshund and her four pups.

Kurt fell in love with them instantly, and had to tear himself away when it was time to go. Walking home, he pictured himself and Blaine each with a pup of their own on a leash. They’d be a family.

It filled Kurt’s stomach with butterflies to realise how close he was now to all that he’d yearned for, and it made him smile like a loon.

Over the next few weeks, Kurt went back to the animal shelter whenever he could spare a moment, and each time, he came home more smitten, and happily anticipating taking two puppies home.

The weekends were filled with date after date. Blaine seemed to think that he needed to make up for all the missed opportunities by cramming in as much quality time with Kurt as he possibly could. Kurt happily went along with it, though he liked cuddling on the sofa watching reality TV just as much as all the outings Blaine came up with. He just enjoyed spending time with Blaine, period.

There was no denying Blaine had a good grasp on what Kurt liked, though.

For their second date, Blaine took him for brunch in a quaint tearoom with an Alice in Wonderland décor, a feast for both the eyes and the palate. Kurt soaked it all in greedily, and told Blaine about the tea parties he used to have on his lawn, with his dad and his stuffed animals. “Remind me to show you some pictures the next time we’re in Lima.”

Kurt laughed at Blaine’s shifty eyes and scared expression at the mention of Burt. “I told my dad it was all a misunderstanding, and that we’re together now. So he’s not mad at you anymore. You can come home with me without fearing for your kneecaps.”

That last comment made Blaine’s eyes widen even further, and Kurt giggled some more.

After brunch, they visited the zoo, and Blaine showed Kurt the sights in Central Park. They sat down on the grass at the Gapstow Bridge for a while, enjoying the beauty of the scene before them.

“I feel like I’m in a storybook,” Kurt said.

“Well, maybe you are,” Blaine quipped. “And you’re the hero of the story, breaking my curse.”

“That would have been the ending already,” Kurt pointed out. “So where are we now, in the epilogue? In the sequel?”

Blaine chuckled. “I guess.”

“So there’s more drama to come?”

Blaine sighed. “Nothing too major, I hope. But yes, every life has its ups and downs.”

Kurt put his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “Together, we can weather any storm, can’t we?”

“We can.”

The next day, they went to the Met. Blaine had bought tickets beforehand this time, so that they wouldn’t have to queue. The exhibition was beautiful, but in his heart of hearts, Kurt preferred the Museum of Natural History.

The following weekend, Blaine took Kurt ice-skating, and laughed and cooed when Kurt proved to be an uncoordinated Bambi on the ice. After about an hour of flailing and falling, they called it quits and went for a luxurious high tea in a tearoom close to the rink, where Kurt moaned over the madeleines and financiers – “So good, Blaine!” – until Blaine slapped down a few bills and tugged a giggling Kurt out of the establishment and straight into a cab to get home asap.

Another week passed, and this time around, Blaine’s weekend plans included a showing of a 1950s musical starring Gene Kelly and afterwards dinner at a restaurant with an amazing view.

“You spoil me,” Kurt said to Blaine, taking out his phone to snap a picture of the artfully arranged amuse-bouches the waiter had set in front of him.

Blaine smiled. “I like spoiling the people I love.”

Kurt felt himself beaming ear to ear. Maybe there would come a time when a love declaration from Blaine would not make his stomach flutter and his heart beat double-time and the corners of his mouth turn up, but he doubted it.

When Valentine’s Day arrived, Blaine took the wooing up another notch. Kurt hadn’t counted on them celebrating Valentine’s, seeing as it was an ordinary Friday, scheduled chock-full from dawn till dusk. Blaine, however, had other ideas.

Kurt woke up that day to Blaine kissing him everywhere, a trail that led from his forehead all the way to his toes and left tingling awareness in its wake, but when Kurt wanted to grab Blaine and return the favour, he’d gone. He came back with a breakfast tray worthy of Instagram, but Kurt pouted at it and at Blaine. “You’re such a tease!”

“We have no time, beautiful! We need to be at school in half an hour.”

Kurt shot up from the bed. “What?! The dogs!”

“I walked them. Relax. They’ve had their walk, they have food and water. They’re happy.”

Kurt enjoyed the yummy breakfast Blaine had made him, and knew he’d have to think of something to surprise Blaine with, too. Between his two morning classes, he hurried to their favourite bakery and bought Blaine a brie and honey sandwich and two cronuts, which he then dropped off in Blaine’s office with a sweet note, enlisting Professor Scher’s help to unlock the door.

While he was walking the dogs during his lunch break, his phone chimed with a thank you, and he grinned, already looking forward to seeing Blaine at the animal shelter that evening.

Nothing, however, could have prepared him for what he saw at the shelter, in the room Eileen showed him to. Somehow, Blaine had managed to turn the place into a piece of paradise. It was like walking straight into a forest – trees and flowers and running water. And in the middle, there was a table that seemed to come from the penguin scene in Mary Poppins. It was beautiful, and Kurt gaped at it all, gobsmacked.

Then he saw Blaine, looking at him with so much love it took his breath away. Blaine had two of the puppies on his lap, and he was… Oh my goodness, he was on one knee… Was this…? “Blaine!”

And yes, it was the proposal Kurt had been waiting for, and it was so moving and so unbelievably perfect that Kurt cried buckets, laughing wetly when one of the pups tried to cheer him up by licking away his tears, because aww, that felt familiar.

Before Kurt knew it, he had a ring on his finger and was clutching the Devon key he’d given back to Blaine in January. As it warmed up in his hand, he thought, Mine, and it filled him with so much happiness that he just had to kiss Blaine, over, and over, and over.

Blaine had not only provided the perfect setting for the proposal, he’d brought food, too: some of Kurt’s favourite dishes.

“I’m sorry it’s all cold,” Blaine apologised. “It’s not really picnic season, I know, but I didn’t know how to keep food warm here, so I chose cold dishes.”

Kurt, his mouth already full, swallowed and hastened to say, “It’s perfect. Seriously. I love this. All of this. Wow, Blaine. This is just… Perfect.”

Blaine beamed at him and started eating too.

K&B

The next Friday, Kurt moved back into Blaine’s apartment. They also went back to the animal shelter to officially adopt the two puppies they had chosen. They called them Margaret and Oliver, or Mollie and Ollie for short.

A few days earlier, Kurt had called the dog walking agency to tell that he would be unavailable for the next four weeks, as he was adopting two puppies of his own, and Sheila had squealed excitedly and asked for all the details. “So I take it you won’t be dog-sitting anymore? Just dog-walking after these four weeks are over?”

“Yes. I think I’ve found my place.”

“Aww, you sound so happy. Well, good luck with the pups, and send me a pic once they’ve settled in, will you?”

“I will.”

“Oh, and give me your new address, to put it in the database, please?”

When he told her the address, there was a moment of silence. “That’s Devon’s address! Are you scamming our agency by dog-sitting for Devon’s owner without going through us?”

Kurt’s skin prickled uncomfortably. Uh-oh. Should have seen this coming.

“No, Devon isn’t there anymore,” Kurt said. “I’m marrying the guy who lives at that apartment. And we got ourselves two new dogs, to replace Devon.”

“Devon died? Oh, poor dear!” Sheila commiserated. “So that’s why Mr Anderson stopped calling on us. I did wonder. Okay, I’ll make a note of that. And sorry for accusing you.”

“’S all right,” Kurt mumbled, feeling guilty, because he had done exactly what she’d accused him of.

“So Devon’s owner fell for you, did he? How did that happen?” Sheila asked.

“Well, we got talking… And we have a lot in common. And ugh, he’s so gorgeous, Sheila, and so sweet. I had a crush five minutes in.”

Sheila giggled. “And he did, too?”

Kurt scoffed. “I wish. No, it took him a LOT longer. I pined for ages.”

Sheila laughed. “Can’t have been too long, ‘cause you’re getting married already and your first time looking after Devon was in… let me check… January 2012. That’s only two years ago!”

“Well, it FELT like ages,” Kurt amended, and then he laughed too.

“So when’s the wedding?” Sheila wanted to know.

“July 14th. At the New York Public Library.”

“Oh, wow, nice! Well, congrats to you both, and if you need a dog sitter for your honeymoon, you know who to call!”

“We do. Thank you, Sheila!”

K&B

Mollie and Ollie were happy playful pups, and Blaine and Kurt loved them beyond measure, even though they ruined more than a few shoes and pieces of clothing.

Kurt had to keep telling Blaine not to laugh when Mollie playfully bit his hand or Ollie tugged at his jeans. “Don’t encourage them, Blaine! People and their clothes are NOT acceptable chew and tug toys. We BOUGHT them toys, give them those!”

Kurt and Blaine drove to Ohio to visit their family at Easter, and both Pam and Carole cooed over the pups, who took to them instantly.

Blaine was jumpy around Burt for days, until at last Burt sat him down and told Blaine to stop treating him like a bomb that could go off any minute.

Blaine’s face shone when Burt added that he’d accepted him as his son-in-law. “Took you way too long to make your mind up, but I can tell you’re making Kurt very happy now. You guys are good together. Just don’t screw it up, okay?”

“I won’t, Burt,” Blaine vowed, taking Kurt’s hand in his and squeezing it way too hard.

Kurt laughed and kissed Blaine on the cheek. “Don’t stress him out, Dad. I want him to live long enough to actually marry me.”

“I’m not!” Burt protested. “I just welcomed him to the family!”

Carole patted Burt on the arm. “Aww, that’s nice, honey. Now can we get back to the wedding planning? Kurt was just saying he’d like you wear your black suit with the blue tie.”

Pam was equally eager to discuss the wedding plans, and offered to look after Ollie and Mollie while Kurt and Blaine would be going on their honeymoon.

Slightly less welcome was her news about Cooper. “I told Cooper that you were getting married, and he’s very disappointed he’s not the best man. He said he’s writing a speech anyway, ‘cause nobody else knows you well enough to give a decent best man’s speech.”

Blaine blanched, and Kurt looked at him in alarm.

Pam laughed. “Oh, honey bee, it will be okay. Your brother loves you.”

Blaine huffed, muttered something under his breath and changed the subject.

When they were in bed that evening, Kurt asked, “Are you really worried about Cooper’s speech? How bad can it be?”

Blaine let out a deep sigh. “Let me just say that Coop lives to embarrass and belittle me. That’s his favourite pastime.”

Kurt rubbed soothing circles on his back. “If it gets too bad, I’ll find a way to distract everyone. Did you know that I can sneeze about twenty times in a row?”

Blaine huffed out a laugh. “No, I didn’t. That’s good to know.”

He sighed again. “Maybe I’m overreacting anyway. I really hope I am.”

K&B

In May, Kurt graduated with two degrees: one in fashion design and one in graphic design.

As Blaine had predicted, R/GA hadn’t even waited until Kurt’s actual graduation to offer him a job as a junior designer.

“I’ve no doubt that you’ll be a senior designer in five years max,” Ellie had told him. “You’re just that good. The work you’ve done so far has been a hit with our clients, and several of them have requested you as the main designer for their next campaigns. So… Will you stay with us?”

Kurt had signed the contract right then and there.

Now, at the ceremony, he was talking to Professor Scher, who’d given him a big hug and told him she’d miss him in her classes. She whooped in celebration when he told her about scoring a job at R/GA. “Now you’re glad you took that minor in graphic design, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Kurt agreed. “I’m sure my fashion design degree will come in handy too, though.”

Professor Scher smiled at him. “Oh, I’ve no doubt.”

She lowered her voice and whispered, “Are you designing the tuxes for the wedding?”

Kurt nodded and grinned. “Yes, I’ve designed them, and I’m sewing them, too. Blaine’s outfit is already done, bowtie and all, and now I’m working on mine.”

He saw Blaine look at him from across the room and sent him a smile.

“I told him to stay away from you at the ceremony,” Professor Scher continued in an undertone. “The whole board of governors is here today, and he’s way too obvious around you. You’re graduating today, but still. I don’t want Kay Unger to suspect anything, and sack Blaine over it.”

Kurt bit his lip.

“Go say goodbye to your friends and then go home to celebrate,” Professor Scher advised. “I’ll send your man after you. And I’ll see you at the wedding. Congrats on your job!”

Kurt beamed. “Thank you, Professor.”

He moved on to Maizie, who’d come to the ceremony with her parents and her big sister. It made him miss Burt and Carole, who had decided to stay at home. “We’ll be travelling to New York already for your wedding. I can’t go hopping on a plane every two months, I’ve got a business to run!”

Kurt understood that, but it stung a little anyway. Instead of his parents, he’d brought along Rachel, who was now chatting with Blaine. They’d met a few days after the proposal, when Kurt really couldn’t keep the news to himself anymore and needed to squeal about it to Rachel and Mercedes. They’d both been very surprised, obviously, and miffed that Kurt had never said anything about Blaine before.

Rachel had insisted on meeting Blaine for brunch that Sunday. Kurt had been a bit apprehensive about it. He really wanted them to like each other, and what if they didn’t? But he needn’t have worried. Rachel and Blaine clicked from the very first moment and were soon chatting away a mile a minute. The Sunday brunch had become a staple of their lives, and Rachel and Blaine were now fast friends.

Kurt tore his eyes away from Rachel and Blaine and moved in to hug Maizie and her sister, and shake her parents’ hands.

Then he went to the group that Elliott and Neil were standing in, and got pats on the back from everyone when he mentioned he already had a job lined up.

Elliott had scored a job at Elle Magazine, where he’d interned, but the others had had no luck so far in their job search.

“I guess I’ll stick with dog walking for the time being,” Neil said glumly, and Steve mentioned moving back in with his parents.

Kurt said his goodbyes to everyone and then slipped away home, where Mollie and Ollie greeted him with enthusiastic licks and wagging tails. “Time for your walk, sweeties?”

K&B

Two weeks later, he grinned when his phone rang and he saw that it was Elliott calling. “Hey Elliott! How’s Elle Magazine treating you?”

“Oh, great! I really love it there. We did a photo shoot with Meryl Streep the other day, can you believe it? She was so nice, too.”

“That’s amazing!” Kurt said. “I’m working on an ad campaign for Nike at the moment, and it’s all in black and white. Very classy.”

“Nice! Hey, Kurt?”

“Yes?”

“I got something in the mail today, and I didn’t really know what to make of it.”

Kurt’s grin grew wider. “Oh?”

“It’s a wedding invitation.”

“Uh-huh.”

“To YOUR wedding!”

“Right.”

“And it says you’re getting married to Professor Anderson. Seriously, what gives, man? Is this payback for that April Fools prank?”

Kurt laughed. “I guess you’ll just have to turn up and see.”

“What?” Elliott spluttered. “Not cool, man!”

“Suit yourself,” Kurt told him. “You don’t have to come. If you’re too chicken, you can stay at home and wonder for the rest of your life what that invitation was all about. If you come, though, make sure you’re dressed up. The dress code is black tie.”

“What? Kurt! Have you planned some kind of candid camera thing?”

“You’ll see. Bye, Elliott!”

He ended the call, still with a huge grin on his face.

Blaine, who was sitting on the sofa next to him, shook his head, chuckling. “You have the poor guy thinking you’re going to do something awful to him that makes him look like an idiot and put it on YouTube.”

Kurt shrugged. “I can’t help it that he’s paranoid because he’s got a bad conscience.”

Just then, his phone chimed with a text message.

From: Elliott

I just got a text from Neil that he got a wedding invitation too. Seriously, Kurt, what is going on?

Kurt giggled and put his phone on the coffee table without texting back.

A hand crept to his side and started tickling him.

“No, no, not there,” Kurt implored, but by then, Blaine had pinned him down and was torturing all of Kurt’s sensitive spots.

“Stop! Please stop!” Kurt begged Blaine, tears of mirth in his eyes.

“Admit it, you’re totally enjoying putting the wind up Elliott!”

Kurt let out a shout of laughter, and then shrieked, “Yes, yes, I am! Happy now?”

Blaine stopped tickling him and sat back on his haunches.

“You’re evil!” Kurt complained.

“So are you, beautiful, to scare your friend this way.”

Kurt grinned at Blaine. “I can’t WAIT to see his face. It’s gonna be priceless!”

K&B

The night before the actual wedding, Kurt met Cooper at the rehearsal dinner.

At first, Kurt stared, because wow, how had Blaine never mentioned that his brother was the most handsome man in all of North-America? But then Cooper opened his mouth, and admiration quickly turned into irritation. What a windbag!

Cooper didn’t stop talking all evening, turning every possible subject into a soliloquy about himself. Even when he gave a speech that was supposed to be about Blaine, it turned out to be a comparison in which Cooper always came out on top.

By the time the dessert was served, Kurt was sick of Cooper’s voice, and whispered into Blaine’s ear, “Okay, I get it now. Your brother is insufferable. Ugh. Can we duct-tape his mouth shut tomorrow?”

Blaine, who’d just taken a sip of champagne, snorted it out again through his nose from laughing so hard. It took a full five minutes for him to compose himself again, and then he whispered, “I wish. Thanks for the laugh, beautiful, I needed that.”

That night, Kurt slept at the loft again for one last time. Rachel and Jesse hadn’t been able to attend the rehearsal dinner because they were both starring in a revival of My Fair Lady, but they would be there for the actual wedding.

Kurt told them all about Blaine’s brother, and asked them to keep Cooper away from Blaine and from any and all microphones during the wedding. “Please. I don’t want him to ruin our day. I’m sure the two of you can keep him… busy.”

Jesse and Rachel looked at each other, and then turned to Kurt.

“On one condition,” Jesse began, and Rachel added, “That you plan our wedding for us.”

Rachel held out her left hand, and yes, a big diamond was sparkling there.

Kurt’s mouth fell open. Then, he grabbed Rachel’s hands and they both started jumping up and down, squealing so loud that Jesse clapped his hands over his ears and swore.

Kurt inspected the ring, and nodded approvingly. “It suits you. Now, tell me, how did it happen? Oh, and congrats to you both! This is AMAZING!!”

Rachel’s great news and the subsequent talk of dresses and venues and other details kept Kurt from stressing about his own wedding, and when he woke up, his mouth stretched into a wide smile of its own accord.

Humming Get Me to the Church On Time, he got up and made breakfast for all three of them. By the time the eggs and Rachel’s vegan sausages and faux bacon were in the pan, the humming had turned into singing, and once the smell of the cooked breakfast spread, Rachel and Jesse appeared in the kitchen and chimed in too.

“Not bad,” said Jesse as Kurt handed him a plate and silverware. “Not bad at all. You’d make a decent Alfred P. Doolittle.”

Kurt rolled his eyes at the meagre praise. “Thank you.”

K&B

Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes met up with Burt and Carole in their hotel room in the afternoon, and Kurt helped with the women’s hair and make-up before doing his own hair and putting his tux on.

He’d chosen blue and burgundy for the wedding theme. The invitations, the decorations, even the cake were in those colours, and the tuxes he made were, too.

Kurt’s outfit was deep blue, and the lapels of the jacket as well as his bow tie were made of a material with metallic thread in it, which shimmered in the light.

Blaine’s jacket was made of a rich patterned burgundy velvet, that Kurt had paired with black lapels, black pants and a black bow tie. Kurt couldn’t wait to see Blaine in it.

They’d decided that Kurt would be the one walking down the aisle, with his dad, so when they reached the venue, the women squeezed his hands, kissed his cheek and went inside, leaving Burt and Kurt alone on the steps.

The photographer they’d hired for the occasion made Kurt and his father pose for a few pictures and then hurried inside. Kurt watched him go, and his stomach turned into knots with sudden nerves.

Burt cleared his throat. “Well… This is it, son. Last chance to run if you wanna.”

That startled a laugh out of Kurt. “Dad!”

Burt shrugged. “You looked so pinched there for a second, I thought maybe you were having second thoughts.”

“Never. Blaine and I are forever.”

Burt nodded and patted Kurt on the back. “All right, then. Time to go in and tell that to Blaine.”

Kurt exhaled shakily. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

When he entered the Astor Hall on his father’s arm, he spared only one look for Elliott’s gobsmacked face, and then looked straight ahead, where Blaine was waiting for him with so much love in his eyes that it made Kurt feel like he’d just swallowed the sun.

Kurt put his hands in Blaine’s, looked into his eyes, and everything else just fell away as they were in their own bubble.

Kurt didn’t hear a word of Blaine’s vows, and had to be gently reminded to say his own. When it was time for the rings, he held out the wrong hand for Blaine to put the ring on, but Blaine just tickled the hand for a second and reached for the other so fluidly that Kurt was pretty sure no-one else noticed his mistake.

And then, finally, it was time to kiss, and Kurt trembled in Blaine’s arms and shed a tear or two.

Trent handed Kurt a handkerchief, and smiled when Kurt hiccupped, “They’re… h-happy tears.”

As soon as the ceremony was over, the photographer whisked Kurt and Blaine away for a photoshoot, first outside, on the steps, and then in all sorts of beautiful spots at the library. He clicked away happily while Kurt hugged Blaine from behind and wound his arms around Blaine’s middle, while Blaine kissed Kurt on the mouth, on the cheek, behind the ear, while Kurt dipped Blaine playfully and then Blaine picked Kurt up bridal style.

“This is great, guys! Keep it up!” said the photographer, so they tried out some more poses: Blaine wrapping himself around Kurt and kissing his forehead, Blaine grabbing Kurt’s tie and tugging him closer, the both of them running away and then towards the photographer, standing a few feet apart from each other and leaning in for a kiss.

Then it was time for their big entrance as a couple, and they did so to loud applause.

For their first dance, Kurt had picked another Céline Dion song, J’attendais, and he happily let her inimitable voice wash over him as he danced with his husband.

Burt had agreed to give the welcome speech, and he kept it short and sweet, saying he was hungry, which led to laughter and applause.

Kurt realised that he was hungry too, and as soon as the waiters served the first course, he tucked in. In between the different courses, Kurt and Blaine went to talk to the family and friends they’d invited. Kurt saw to his relief that Rachel and Jesse kept their word and monopolised Cooper to the point where he forgot all about giving a speech.

When they reached the table where Kurt’s college friends were sitting, Elliott breathed, “Dude!”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“You actually got married.”

“Yes.”

“How…? When…?”

Maizie interrupted Elliott’s bumbling. “I bet they got together after that dance they shared. For Kurt’s 21st birthday, remember? Or was it before that, Kurt?”

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other and shook their heads, smiling.

“I bet you’re glad Santana dared you to dance with Professor Anderson,” Maizie beamed.

Kurt inclined his head. “I am.”

“Well, congratulations to you both,” said Maizie. “I’m so glad it all worked out.”

“Yeah, congrats,” said Neil.

Elliott nodded, still speechless, and Kurt giggled, tugging Blaine to the next table.

Blaine chuckled, raised their entwined hands and kissed them. “You’re a minx.”

“You love it,” Kurt countered.

“I do,” Blaine admitted. “I love you.”

“I love you too. For as long as we both shall live.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

#puppy eyes #klaine fanfiction #my fic #chapter 21 #enjoy!

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aikainkauna · 6 years

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Movie meeeehm

Thanks to @nitrateglow for these!

1: A movie you enjoyed as a kid that you don't now

-Probs some comedy I'd find awfully sexist/racist/homophobic etc. now. But of course, I can't recall a specific one, probs because the experience is so deeply squicky and traumatic. Oh, wait, I know. I adored The Great Mouse Detective as a kid, but have heard so many "bleh" comments about it later that I don't want to ruin it by rewatching it as an adult. Why take a happy, cherished, pure and joyous memory away, especially as there are so few of those in my life anyway in proportion to the bad memories?

2: A movie you disliked as a kid that you like/love now

-Not a movie, but I was literally too fucking terrified to watch Doctor Who as a kid on cable, because the Tom Baker repeats they were showing terrified me with the title sequence alone. That empty stare and howling, diddly-duming music were enough to give me nightmares. So I only got into Who in my late teens!

3: Your favorite movie as a kid

-Define "kid." I went through several. I loved the Disney Robin Hood, of course, and at puberty, Wayne's World (yes) and The Princess Bride were my own cult movies, before I had anyone to fangirl them with. Ah, the pre-Internet era.

4: An actor/actress it took you time to warm up to

I remember being weirdly terrified and disturbed by Jeremy Brett as a kid, but then I felt the same about Bowie, and... well. Clearly it was my baby self not knowing WTF to do with all this stirring, restless energy that later turned out to be my skinnyandrogynousbisexualguy orientation thingy. And while I'd first seen Caligari and Casablanca as a teen in the early 90s, I wasn't ready for Connie until he pounced me in 2012. I would not have "got" him the same way and as hard until I was a grown-up, with a wide variety of experiences from many areas of life and a boatload of books/learning behind me. Just... no way.

5: A director it took you time to warm up to

-If anything, I've cooled off various directors I was impressed by when younger. So much of the auteur stuff gets wanky and self-imposing, in this Arrogant Artist Guy "look at my GENIUS big VISION and also insecurity about my penis size" kind of way. I like directors who can be warm and have fun and who show some real humanity (not wanky anvilly/kitchen sink-y sort of "humanity" either). Maybe Branagh? I found him a bit annoying as a kid, but now fap all over his stuff because now I'm old enough to Get It. He is the best kind of fanboy director; his geekiness is catching. Listening to his Thor commentary was a real eye-opener into my realising just how massive a nerd he is, and in a good, "one of us" kind of way.

6: Top five favorite soundtracks of your favorite movie composer

-There isn't just one! But Clint Mansell and Debbie Wiseman turn to gold everything they touch. Debbie especially is hugely unknown still, but she has this most amazing, swellingly Romantic music full of sweeping emotion that I just can't rec her enough. Do check her out; she'll give you goosebumps.

7: Three movies that defined your teen/childhood years

-I think I mentioned those already! But as a teenager, Bram Stoker's Dracula, La Reine Margot and Heavenly Creatures were formative. There were others I obsessed about way more than those, but they weren't as influential--it's more like they were massaging buttons I already had.

8: Sci-fi or westerns?

-Blake's 7! AKA "The Dirty Dozen in Space."

9: Are there any movies you own more than one copy of?

-Ahhahaha. AAAHHAHAHAHA! Of The Thief of Bagdad, I own: The Criterion clusterfuck with the awful clumsy cover someone had their 5-year-old draw, the Nordic DVD, the German Blu-Ray because I live on the edge (what with those Veidt Eye Closeups in HD being a hazard to any uterus) and at least three different digital copies. Because I'm me. I also own two digital copies and one DVD of Casablanca, three digital and one DVD of A Woman's Face and don't get me started on the British telefantasy I have on both DVD and VHS. I have spare copies of both the Caligari Masters of Cinema release and the ITV DVD of The Spy In Black, so I guess I should throw them at somebody.

10: Physical media or streaming?

-Neither. Video files firmly saved onto and run from my hard drive. Fuck streaming with its choppiness (ruins the viewing experience for me) and physical media are usually beyond my budget (unless I save up for a Connie DVD). Besides, I rip my favourite movie discs onto my HD anyway. I want to be able to gif that shit, dammit!

11: Are there any movies you watch on special occasions every year (Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, your mother's aunt's wedding anniversary, etc.)

-Used to do Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, but not any more. I still attempt ToB every Christmas. And I used to do All Through The Night with wine on my birthday, but as I can't tolerate alcohol anymore, the experience of Watching ATTN Drunk is no more. Someone start a Halloween tradition with me where we watch either The Student of Prague or Eerie Tales (or both) every year?

12: What movie do you most associate with your best friend(s)?

-Gosh, so few have stayed, so it's more like "movie that reminds you of a broken friendship," yay...?! I've learned to try and not associate movies with people that way any more, because it's more painful than it's worth. Connie is my best friend. He's like Krishna that way.

13: Name a movie adaptation you thought was better than or equal to its source material.

-LOTR put in more facial features and characterisation than Tolkien ever did, and did the tales far less fucking tediously. Imagine if you'd had to sit and watch hobbits walking through the countryside for 6 hours with barely anything happening?! Yeah...

14: What genres do your favorite movies tend to be?

-Historical, fantasy, Gothic Romantic, just Romantic stuff on the whole. More old than new movies these days. Why watch shitty modern chick flicks when I have far better characterisation and far less narrowly defined female lives in old-timey "women's pictures?" And guys who actually fucking shaved, dressed in clothes that were tailored for them instead of rented and saggy, whose bodily expressions weren't frozen for fear of "fagginess," and who weren't pumped full of 'roids.

15: Are you a fan of period dramas and if so, what era do you enjoy best?

-Yes. I love me some costume dramas, but I am seriously picky about them--most post-90s ones have been fucking awful and tend to feature shitty costumes and unkempt hair that would've sent real historical people to Bedlam, wobblycam from hell, vomit-inducingly excessive modernisation to be "edgy", and that one painfully skeletal bint they shove into every period drama ever these days, so it's... slim pickings for a history nerd, these days. There aren't many good ones set in the 17th century/Baroque era, which I love the most: the two Baroque dramas I wholeheartedly love are both series. (The Devil's Whore and By The Sword Divided.) The Angeliques and Musketeer adaptations are riddled with flaws, but there are some glowing bits within. As for The Golden Age of Islam... bloody hell, there really aren't that many good ones out there, are there?! ToB and Jodhaa Akbar and Disney's Aladdin, obviously. La Reine Margot isn't "my" period but it's great, as is Dangerous Liaisons (also not my period)--those are so fucking perfect. And the Connie period dramas, well... I think of them as primarily "silent movies" or "old movies," actually. Of those, The Student of Prague, ToB and The Wandering Jew are the best "costume" ones, IMHO. (I'd probs enjoy Lucrezia Borgia and Carlos and Elisabeth way more, were the copies we have not so smudgy.)

16: Name a movie you love that you would recommend to just about everyone.

-Ah, but we know there are always cynical cunts out there who'd give even Casablanca two stars, so what's the point? I'd still recommend it, though. And The Lion King, I guess.

17: Name a movie you love that you consider an acquired taste.

-Honestly, I'm thinking of telly rather than movies again. You will pry my cherished copy of The Time Monster from my cold, dead hands. Does The Devil of Winterborne count as a movie or TV? That's how far back my love for Mark Gatiss goes. Um... Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood makes me fucking cry with laughter (the comedic timing is what does it. *beat* "Ain't dat some shit!"). Of Connie's oeuvre, yes, I know Bella Donna is rubbish, but Connie and Mary are SIZZLING and horny and juicy and it's Valid as a BDSM porn movie. And the novel is actually good.

18: Name a film you like directed by/starring a filmmaker/actor you normally don't care for.

-Not so much actor/director, but I did *not* expect to love Thor as much as I did, because I expected a dumb popcorn movie but got great adventure cinema with a touch of Shakespeare instead. I really am not the right audience for regular Marvel features at all, before or after. Fuck Marvel up its dumb macho Republican ass. But Thor is fucking beautiful and operatic and poetic and majestic and Pagan and shit. Branagh knows what I like.

19: Name a movie that blew your mind.

-A Woman's Face (1941). Because. Holy. Fuck. How can I keep on finding yet more details in it six years after first watching it, having watched it countless times by now?! And obvs all the other stuff, like the shockingly good female POV, amazing and complex woman protagonist, amazing writing, amazing ensemble cast, amazing direction, amazing lighting, amazing evil Torsten Slinkypussy Barring and The. Goddamn. Attic. Scene.

20: What genre mash-up would you most love to see that either hasn't been done yet or hasn't been done enough?

-Feminist-savvy historical romance with fantasy elements and hot explicit sex that's not shit. Basically, like the stuff you see in my fics, but better paced and woven into coherent adventure movies.

21: The coolest movie you've ever seen

-Too, too many. But Bogie was the coolest. And Claude Rains had the best acting skills. And Conrad Veidt was Conrad motherfucking Veidt. So what with those three mountains of coolness all converging under the Moroccan sky, I'm sure it's safe to say "Casablanca."

#movies #personal #meme #i am leaving out tons i know #but i must attempt sleep nao #i was quoting don't be a menace to myself just yesterday ffs #every time there's an anvilly Point in a movie #i keep screaming 'mmESSAGE!'

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nanashi1869 · 6 years

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🌼Flowers for my wounds🌸

(@kondo-hijikata @liuet in case you feel like reading it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

~Yes, woo what a surprise, a long rant about the Shinsengumi again, how original Nashi. ~

Why thank you, dear reader ;) In all seriousness though, all the previous rants I made were spoiler free and it made me ridiculously furious that I held back all the salt and awe I have in me just for the sake of not spoiling any potential newcomers. I’ve covered some of this in vague posts hundreds of times, but today I will break that habit, I will spoil this to hell and back and enjoy it just as much.

You've been warned.

PS: I’m doing this entirely based on my memory and some snippets I’ve seen one time too many for my own good. Inaccuracies are bound to happen.

As always, what better way to begin than with the infamous episode 33...

I'm kidding, today I'm starting by digging into the post office. As with the usual routine the theme to talk about with this wreck is - guilt. Guilt over losing money in a gamble like a complete fool, guilt over buying a book and being too big of a shit (with rather solid arguments) to admit it, guilt over making rules you can't break even though going through the consequences once was enough to make you regret it for the next few miserable years... (Yes I lied, inadvertently everything comes back to the foolish daffodils). But let's talk about our pure accountant who is one 'i' short of being nothing but cute. Let's talk about the edge they put us on a bit before the main event took place, when the (drama version) of the idiot trio tore that scroll. Never forget that could have been the reason for all our tears, yet in the end it still had to be some more complex scheme. An act with the convict being an innocent man and the true criminal roaming free, while Toshi had all the time in the world to steep in deep, raging self-denial over the legitimacy of his past actions and life choices, all the while ending up the scapegoat to whom all the anger can be directed towards. The subtlety with which we were deceived to think the "actual events" of episode 38 were to play out earlier is truly commendable. But with this drama nothing is ever easy. You get to know a new character, someone moves a chess piece and then instead of moving forward everything takes a step back and lets you seethe with nervousness because, without realizing, you've been tricked and have to wait for all the heartbreak a while longer. Takeda's resolve to keep to his decision, regardless of consequences, was in his eyes, completely justified. It did make sense to try and prevent Kano from buying the book for Ito in order to protect the group from his growing power, the action simply failed due to Toshi's own greed after it. Kawai innocently, perhaps naively, thought lending money more than once would not be punished in hopes his friends would be saved from harm. It is his kindnesses that is ultimately his doom and it is the unexpected, usually harmless twists in life that turn it into a spiral with no point of return. Takeda's following quest for redemption ends up being just as pointless as Kawai’s death - he is killed in an instant of hate directed at him, where the assailants are unaware of his reasoning for the justification of his friend's demise. The book too, loses value as Ito gets his own copy later on.

Most, if not all, tragedies in this drama happen because someone is trying to protect or shield - and idea, a person. Toshi's friends die because he must protect the order of the group for Kat-chan, Yamanami and Akesato have a rift in their final moments because they cannot be honest (likewise Souji and Hide), Kat-chan's relationship with Tsune suffers because he lies about Miyuki, Nagakura and the others write the petition to shield the group from Toshi and Kat-chan's (propensity) ego. The pattern is pretty clear.

I'm going to loop back to the script for just a second - watching this drama knowing what will happens adds a thrill, it makes you question when an event will take place even though you know the chronological sequence, because the “mini-arc” leading up to it has to be completed first and the tension must be just right. How long that is depends on the episode and event of course. But each arc is a stepping stone to a new point of no return.

I think, since I've mentioned him, I'll take a bit to talk about Ito as well. I love, love, love the confrontation Kondo and Ito have right before his death. It's absolutely stunning despite being simplistic in nature, because what Kondo states is in fact the very obvious truth and in no way some overly wise notion of the situation. However, it's that simplicity (to me) that adds to the charm of the scene. If you expected some courageous battle of wits, you might have been sourly disappointment, but otherwise - see the pattern? - what brings people to their knees is once again the basic things in life. Kondo’s sincerity, the fact that life is and always will be (mostly) separated into black and white for them. Farmers and samurai, poor and rich - they fit in a narrow grey zone, yet even there they are bullied, pushed away to leave. It's everything complex they're trying to achieve being haunted by little things. It's the desire and determination to be something big and more buried into the ground by the small things they were raised with, holding them back.

Ah, it’s about time this goo got to the good part.

No, it’s still not episode 33. Firstly because I’m sure everyone is tired of my whining about it and secondly because I like to leave best (in my opinion) for last.

This is for our Gargoyle and Tofu. Just imagine, for a second imagine that final hug again and bathe in it, then come back to me, okay? The wedding rings champagne caps and Toshi’s little grimace when he tries to convince himself ‘it’s not over yet’. (At this point I would just like to praise Mitani again for giving us closure with that hug, unlike some other shows I watch *side eyes knife pile*). I’m really glad the two of them got to hug it out before the whole deal blew up. Everytime a ‘Kat-channn’ or ‘Tossshii’ came around my heart melted a bit. THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD. (I get so, so jealous each time I see well written relationships between two guys. Doesn’t matter if it’s boyfriends/best friends/would-die-for-you combined or only one of these included. (*cough* NIF & Bleach for one *cough*) I don’t even know what to say! We all know Toshi would sacrifice the world for Kat-chan. We all know Kat-chan trusts him above all else. The guilt one feels and the content of the other having come so far together and being such a power combo…*noises*

I don’t even know how to put this.... (@kondo-hijikata help this is your expertise)

I’m going to move on to some more feathery stuff because I’m really at a loss about these two (analysing NIF’s LC/MCS has engraved so deep into me it’s ruined my perception for everyone else, I apologize).

Right, feathers…

I wrote about Serizawa and his issue of not being able to get over his “I’m a bad guy, therefore I must act like it” complex...somewhere before. I can’t find it, but I’m very sure that was once a thing. I know most people hate the man with a burning passion and part of me probably does too, yet the way he is presented also makes him fascinating, like he is very self-aware but cannot change anything about that (this is similar to Toshi’s “indifference” (we all know he actually cares) of his path to become the villain - he knows that what he is doing is morally wrong and has no intention of stopping). I feel like in the end both of them continued with “bad guy” roles simply because they were too far down that road to stop.

I would analyse Serizawa’s character more, but I honestly don’t remember much anymore. I did want to mention this though. Toshi on the other hand…feels like someone who desperately wishes to rage quit everything, but keeps on going out of pure spite.

And since I’m speaking of our beloved vice-commander - one thing that opisses me off is that Kotetsu got mentioned, but the whole wow deal with Kanesada got dropped out, even in the movie. *cue bawling over that Katsugeki finale* I was hoping for that when Tetsu showed up dammit!

Am I tiring you yet? Come, sit down, have some tea Gen-san made because he is totally ok and alive an happy and you cannot convince me otherwise because the hugging thing did not happen. Period.

…

Lastly, because my mind is going blank this is quite long - the bane of my existence and the one thing (to me) more cursed than Ryoma himself. (I’m lying PMK upped this x100000 and I am not over that either. I’ll confess immediately I did not read the whole thing yet but this, this haunts me).

This stupid episode with it’s stupid ending and it’s stupid decisions. *insert me yelling about rice balls on the Mibugishiden review post* I mean what is it with this drama and ending brutally sad episodes with (unintentionally?) funny moments? *cue Toshi’s squeaky crying* I have covered my thoughts about Akesato here and here though and since that essentially recaps everything I want to say, I won’t repeat myself. (Thought you’d have to read through 5 more pages of me screaming? I did too before I forgot what I wanted to say.)

I might make a part 2 someday, if I think of more to say, but for now, I’m done, leaving you with this stressful mess. Feel free to add your own opinions, I’m really curious about what the rest of you think.

~Nashi out~

#taigaqueue #personal #long ass rant just because #this has been a while in the making #I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY

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gogle-news · 4 years

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Top 10 Best Netflix Drama Shows Right Now

In this article I have discussed about Top 10 Netflix Drama Shows.

1.Mindhunter

Official it is created by Joe Penhall and basically show run by David Fincher, Mindhunter is probably the best show, time frame. The arrangement depends on obvious occasions and follows the beginning of the FBI's criminal profiling unit in the late 1970s. Two FBI specialists from the FBI's Behavioral Science Unit—Holden Ford and Bill Tench set out to meet detained sequential executioners to check whether they can comprehend why they did what they did, to help make a profile for the FBI to get these sorts of executioners. The show is systematic, uncontrollably charming, and shockingly entertaining, and Fincher himself coordinates various scenes all through the initial two seasons, bringing about stupendous bit of filmmaking also. It's an addictive arrangement that will not go down simple or very much worn ways, rather discovering fresh out of the plastic better approaches to account stories that have been told on many occasions, and subsequently offering completely new understanding into human conduct. Gracious better believe it, and it's delectably engaging.

2.Crazy person

Made by: Patrick Somerville The restricted arrangement Maniac is not normal for whatever else on TV, made all the better by the way that True Detective and Bond twenty-five helmer Cary Fukunaga coordinated every one of the 10 scenes. The arrangement happens in a marginally further developed adaptation of Earth wherein two discouraged and depressed people played by Emma Stone and Jonah Hill—participate in a psyche bowing pharmaceutical preliminary intended to fix them of their ills. The preliminary sees them intellectually living out different various dreams and situations, which at that point offers Fukunaga the chance to traffic in different sorts as Stone and Hill play various variants of themselves in everything from a Coen Brothers-esque wrongdoing story to a Lord of the Rings-like dreamland. It's as a matter of fact somewhat lopsided, however the exhibitions are incredible and it's a really one of a kind turn on a science fiction show.

3.The West Wing

Made By: Aaron Sorkin A tribute to great individuals attempting to carry out their responsibilities well, the arrangement isn't just an amazingly captivating look "off camera" of the White House, it's additionally a clever parody, a moving dramatization, and a beguiling romantic tale all folded into one. In all actuality, the show goes downhill after Sorkin leaves, yet while Season 5 is straight up awful, the arrangement bounce back for its last two seasons as it subsides into another, somewhat extraordinary imaginative voice under new show runner John Wells. Be that as it may, man, you'd be unable to discover anything superior to those initial hardly any seasons. Also, that cast! In case you're searching for something that is savvy, fun, and somewhat addictive, advance toward The West Wing.

4.The Crown

Made By: Peter Morgan The Crown looks at the early rule of England's Queen Elizabeth II. The arrangement is flawlessly coordinated in lavish yet staid tones, as youthful Elizabeth recently wedded to Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh first lives as an advantaged princess before changing into the situation of Queen. From that point, as her grandma alerts her, there will be two Elizabeth inconsistent with each other: one who is a young lady with her own deepest desires, and one who is a regal, whose life will be loaded with obligation and penance.” So in any condition the crown should win”.

5. Haunting of Hill House

Maker: Mike Flanagan Quiet and Gerald's Game movie producer Mike Flanagan conveys his most eager Netflix venture yet with The Haunting of Hill House. Motivated by Shirley Jackson's original phantom story, the arrangement persists practically none of Jackson's account, and spotlights rather on the spooky existences of the wilting Crain family. Skipping to and fro between the late spring the Crain's spent in the main frequented house and the long periods of sadness and family injury they suffered in the repercussions. Flanagan has demonstrated in past works that he has a talent for upsetting visuals and very much created alarms, yet his extraordinary accomplishment in The Haunting of Hill House is the manner in which he integrates the panics with a rich, interlacing story of family tinged with catastrophe. Driven by a staggering gathering, the arrangement veers between enthusiastic disclosure and snapshots of frightfulness that give you full-body chills. It's the most moving and fair depiction of mortality and melancholy this side of Six Feet Under, yet it'll give you a mess more bad dreams.

6.Anne with an E

Made by: Moira Walley-Beckett Despite the fact that Moira Walley-Beckett's retelling of Lucy Maud Montgomery's great Anne of Green Gables stories inclines vigorously into the darker side of Anne's vagrant childhood and the tormenting she encounters in school once she finds a good pace Island, Anne with an E is a cheerful one. Anne is cheerful, amusing, and at last a magnificent investigation of young life.The new season is loaded with triumphant minutes and blissful subplots, just as scenes of distress and hardship. Everything indicates an inspiring season that finishes up with Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, and each one of everyone around her, looking towards the extent of conceivable outcomes in an ever-augmenting world.

7.Hap and Leonard

Created by: Jim Mickle, Nick Damici In view of Joe R. Lansdale's arrangement of books, Hap and Leonard is a magnificently entertaining, activity pressed, and extraordinary tale around two impossible companions one a white, nonconformist cattle rustler, and the other a dark, gay, Vietnam vet who live in East Texas during the 1980s. They regularly get into scratches and unintentionally end up in the center of a wrongdoing they never anticipated exploring, however the arrangement is as dull, profound, and deep as it is hyper, vicious, and frequently diverting. The show strolls a troublesome line in every one of its energetic 6 scene seasons, adjusting silliness and grievousness as its saints, lowlifes, and the perfect scene all pop vividly off of the screen.. The southern singed talk and novel elements additionally assist make with happing and Leonard a magnificently special pearl of Peak TV.

8.Breaking Bad

Made by: Vince Gilligan It's completely conceivable that Breaking Bad will stand out forever as the most persuasive TV drama ever. Maker Vince Gilligan follows through on a solitary story circular segment throughout five seasons: Taking science instructor Walter White from Mr. Chips to Scarface. That circular segment tracks, however en route we get a drawing in, twisty character-rich story that can waver between profoundly passionate and edge of your seat exciting. The show starts with the easygoing White getting a terminal malignant growth analysis and picking to go into the precious stone meth exchange to assemble some cash to desert to his family. End and Catch Fire Made by: Christopher Cantwell, Christopher C. Rogers It's such a disgrace, that more individuals didn't watch Halt and Catch Fire. It debuted on AMC back in the mid year of 2014 and ended up running for four seasons. Despite the fact that basic recognition has been out of this world particularly for seasons two, three, and four the appraisals were not, so I should demand that you take to Netflix to watch this misjudged diamond. The show starts in Dallas in 1983, covering the beginning of the PC.

9.The Assassination of Gianni Versace

Made by: Ryan Murphy The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story isn't the give you think it is. The constrained arrangement was showcased as a show about marvelousness, glamour, and acclaim, yet truly it's an American Psycho esque representation of a binge executioner .It focuses on issues identifying with homophobia and self-loathing. In 1997, style creator Gianni Versace was shot dead by a man named Andrew Cunanan .For reasons unknown, this was just piece of the story, and The Assassination of Gianni Versace unfurls in reverse in time as it tracks Cunanan's different homicides and dives into his own life, attempting to see exactly what made this youngster turn so brutal in such an open way.

10.Guardian

Made By: Jed Mercurio Guardian should accompany an admonition. There are a few stretches of this twisty new spine chiller arrangement that are so nervousness actuating, with such deplorable pressure, that I nearly needed to leave the room. I could have delayed it, sure, yet I would not really like to quit watching it. I simply needed to scowl and sink as far down into the sofa as could be expected under the circumstances, my heart beating as I endeavored to legitimize that the story couldn't generally do either, correct. Netflix's six scene arrangement originates from Jed Mercurio, and first disclosed on the BBC . It follows the account of a metropolitan cop, David Budd,a war veteran who utilizes his unique preparing while off the clock to help diffuse a potential dread based oppressor attack in the underlying fifteen minutes of the game plan. In any case, Bodyguard isn't keen on turning out to be Jason Bourne or Jack Ryan, at any rate not yet. What makes the arrangement work including those ultra-tense minutes is the manner by which well Madden sells his boss character as a man who additionally has profound enthusiastic associations and a sympathetic heart. As David is entrusted with being the guardian for a Conservative Home Secretary, Julia Montague, the show truly increases its strain. At last, the show presents a thrilling ride that really exhibits Madden as a significant ability, one who is fit for not simply driving Winter fell’s banner men in Game of Thrones, yet driving this breakout arrangement and others or even a specific film establishment. Read the full article

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pacificbigbangblog · 7 years

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Writer/Artist Pairings!

All right guys, the time has finally come to announce the writer/artist pairs for the Pacific Big Bang 2017! If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email us at [email protected] or just shoot us an ask!

After each story summary we have included the tumblr url for that story’s writer and artist. (There is an artist who has bravely taken on two stories, due to a drop out. This is not a typo.) Please find your writer/artist and introduce yourself if you don’t already know each other! If you’d rather communicate with your author or artist via email, let us know and we’ll put you guys in touch that way. As the challenge continues, we hope that you’ll become a source of inspiration, motivation and support for one another.

One more thing! Now that claims are over, you can post as much about what you’re working on as you want! Writers, please feel free to post snippets from your stories as you write! Artists, give us glimpses of what you’re working on as your pieces take shape! We’re a small fandom, so the more excitement we can generate about this, the better!

Good luck to everyone, and thank you again for participating! We are really looking forward to sharing this experience with you all!

STORY 1

Writer: @acesparson

Artist: @irr-fullmetalheart

Rating: Mature (some sports violence, possible off-screen death)

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Andrew ‘Ack-Ack’ Haldane/ Edward “Hillbilly’ Jones & Eugene Sledge/Merriell ‘Snafu’ Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: There may be some other HBO War cameos, but The Pacific will be the main POV.

Summary: Captain Haldane’s team clinching the 2018 Stanley Cup playoffs had almost been a given. Staying in the race was a whole 'nother matter .

Additional Details: Dealing with hyper-masculinity, ambitions & expectations, & queer themes within sports. It’ll be mainly realistic, but this is fictionalized NHL, and through the eyes of an experienced vet hockey player.

STORY 2

Writer: @waterdeer

Artist: @baksun-n

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Wilbur “Runner” Conley /Lew “Chuckler” Juergens

Side Pairings/Characters: Robert “Lucky” Leckie/Bill “Hoosier” Smith, Lew “Chuckler” Juergens, Sidney Phillips, Ronnie "Kid” Gibson

Summary: Runner is home for the summer after his junior year of college. He’s not excited to go back to his sleepy, tiny town. So far, in the first few weeks, his best friend has been ditching him for this new guy, his parents don’t care about him and haven’t spoken more than two words to him since he came home, and he feels like his life is a dead end. More alone than he’s ever been, he ends up meeting this weird guy from the woods.

Additional Details: Summer Vibes - it’s got the “home for the summer” feel, going out into the woods exploring, summer love kinda feel; Loneliness - Runner is a lonely guy and there’s areas of the story that are sad and down because the story focuses on him; Fantasy - Chuckler is not entirely human (still deciding on what mythical creature he is)

STORY 3

Writer: @warriorgays

Artist: @hoosiersblanket

Rating: General or Teen and Up

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Bob Leckie/Vera Keller, John Basilone/Lena Riggi, Ray Person/Brad Colbert, and Josh Lyman/Donna Moss

Side Pairings/Characters:

Summary: Robert Leckie is a reporter with the White House Press Pool. There’s no such thing as a normal day, but today is a particular challenge as Leckie bounces around in an attempt to get an inside scoop–to put a personal face on working in the White House. Will that personal face be his old friend and current Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman, grumpy but coffee-addicted special assistant Hoosier Smith, rival pool reporter David Webster, pissed-off mad genius Deputy Communications Director Ray Person, energetic and impossible-to-locate Deputy Press Secretary Chuckler Juergens, the new IT guy known only as Lurch, or the Holy Grail of interviews, Secretary of Defense Lena Basilone and her husband, Head of Secret Service John Basilone? Who knows? In the end, it could be any one of them. Probably not Webster, though. [A crossover with The West Wing.]

Additional Details: Mood is realistic, quick-moving, and snarky, as close to the tone of The West Wing as I can get.

STORY 4

Writer: @antiquecompass

Artist: @charlesanthonybruno

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Andrew 'Ack-Ack’ Haldane/ Edward “Hillbilly’ Jones

Side Pairings/Characters: Snafu Shelton, Burgie, and various other cameos

Summary: Andy Haldane leaves his home and job in Boston to help his Aunt Mae run her country store in a small town on the Pennsylvania/Maryland border. He loves his Aunt Mae, her store, and the town he used to spend all his summers in before school and work got in the way. Being back brings up all kinds of memories and sees Andy making quite a few reunions, especially with the Jones family, and particularly the eldest son, Eddie. They’re not kids anymore, but Andy already knows he could fall in love with Eddie Jones all over again.

Additional Details: Pretty much a romance novel, with hardly any angst. Lots of nostalgia as both Andy and Eddie reminiscence about their childhood summers together. Country music is definitely a favorite of the entire Jones family and features in the fic. Many scenes of family and friends bonding. Just a general happy, calm little fic.

STORY 5

Writer: @bullrandleman

Artist: @scramjets

Rating: At most, Mature

Warnings: Possibility of some violence. Horror.

Main Pairings/Characters: John Basilone, JP Morgan, Manny Rodriguez

Side Pairings/Characters: John/Lena Riggi, other characters by mention

Summary: The crew of the rebel fighter craftship take refuge on a Class I planet in an effort to escape the Dictatorship hunting party. They need to recoup and repair, patch up some injuries, and send word for help before they’re discovered. The Alliance depends on the plans they’ve stolen. But the planet is Class I for a reason. The ghosts that inhabit are ancient and angry, and the crew are faced with the decision of exposing themselves for help, or dying.

Additional Details: Very mild crossover with Changi, though it’s not necessary to have watched the series, and it’s not a huge aspect of the story. I’m happy to answer any questions regarding this aspect.

STORY 6

Writer: @spoondragon

Artist: @ramimalekeyes

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Prostitution/Sex work, Period-typical Language and Attitudes, Mention of Childhood Abuse (physical), Possible Mentions of Drug Use (OC’s), Off-Screen Death of OC

Main Pairings/Characters: Eugene Sledge/Merriell “Snafu” Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: Sid Phillips, RV Burgin, Bill Leyden, Jay De L’Eau, Sledge family

Summary: After the war, Eugene gets dragged to a brothel during Sid’s raucous New Orleans bachelor party. While there, he runs into a familiar but wholly unexpected face.

Additional Details: Featuring prostitute!Snafu, jaded post-war!Eugene, misunderstandings, love letters, road trips, a wedding or two, family drama, learning to love yourself and learning to accept the one you love.

STORY 7

Writer: @ramimalekeyes

Artist: @generoes

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Issues of Consent, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Homophobia, Religious Themes

Main Pairings/Characters: Merriell “Snafu” Shelton/Eugene Sledge

Side Pairings/Characters: Merriell “Snafu” Shelton/Orginial Male Characters

Summary: After the war, a dispirited Shelton returns to the life he left behind to find a man looking to take what Shelton owes him. In the chaos of trying to settle debts, Eugene shows up at his door to confront him about how they parted ways and comes face to face with the men threatening Shelton’s life. Through quick thinking, Eugene earns them some time to make an escape but also complicates everything further. On the run with Eugene, Shelton is forced to deal with his feelings for him while they both try to stay alive.

Additional Details: Dark tone and Ominous mood. Aesthetic? Southern Gothic meets Drive.

STORY 8

Writer: @bornearliernix

Artist: @joeliebgottmyheart

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, very vague mentions of sex

Main Pairings/Characters: Eugene Sledge/Merriell “Snafu” Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: Sidney Phillips

Summary: Eugene Sledge and Merriell Shelton board a train, both headed to homes they haven’t seen in years. In a last effort to bring some familiarity with him, Eugene asks Merriell to come with him to Mobile- at least until he’s settled in. Despite his instincts telling him to leave every part of the war behind him, Merriell does.

Additional Details: This work would best be described as melancholy, reflective, and cautiously hopeful.

STORY 9

Writer: @ackackh

Artist: @muminbarn

Rating: Mature (for language and non-explicit sexual content)

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Eugene Sledge/Merriell “Snafu” Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: Andy Haldane/Eddie Jones, Robert Leckie/Hoosier Smith, Sidney Phillips, Bill Leyden, R.V. Burgin, Jay De L'eau, Chuckler Juergens, Runner Conley

Summary: When the Earth’s Sun began to die, most people decided to get the hell out of dodge. But others stayed, determined to stick with their only home until the very end. Thousands of years later, when the Sun had gone and taken most of Earth’s life with it, five men were sent on a mission to go back and study the home mankind left behind. But upon arrival, they were faced with the impossible: a boy in overalls.

Additional Details: Rural Science Fiction, Finding Beauty in Science, Some Rural Fantasy Elements, Space, Themes of Existentialism and Humanity, Soft and Colorful Characters/Settings

STORY 10

Writer: @moontowers

Artist: @red-hot-moon

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Period-Typical Attitudes, Canon-Typical Violence

Main Pairings/Characters: Merriell "Snafu” Shelton/Eugene Sledge

Side Pairings/Characters: Sidney Phillips, others probably

Summary: AU where Sledge and Snafu meet as teenagers in Alabama and grow closer in spite of themselves. War looms, but in the heat of summer 1941 it still feels as distant and inconsequential as thunderstorm, the kind that blows up in the afternoon and spins out by dinnertime. Eugene gets this feeling when he looks at Merriell and that…feels like a bigger fish to fry.

Additional Details: Magical Realism, Friends to Lovers, Pre-Canon

STORY 11

Writer: @armypeaches

Artist: @irr-fullmetalheart

Rating: Teen and Up (for language and canon-levels of violence)

Warnings: While there won’t be anything sexual in this story, I will warn that the actual werewolf biting is non-consensual (the other guys have zero knowledge or warning before the event, and the results of that drive some of the plot), just in case that turns anybody off.

Main Pairings/Characters: No pairings, but a lot of homosocial behavior.

Side Pairings/Characters: Leckie, Chuckler, Runner, and Sid

Summary: Hoosier has never had any interest in turning someone else into a werewolf. He has also never been in a war zone before. When faced with the option of giving his friends a better chance at survival, he barely thinks about it before taking action. He should have given it more thought though, because now they’re all tied to each other forever, through instincts and injury, war and separation, and whatever comes next. Together, they’re all going to learn what it means to be a pack – whether they like it or not.

Additional Details: Team Leckie canon-era werewolf AU. Story will closely follow the events of the miniseries through a werewolf lens. The narration will follow Hoosier (other pack members are Leckie, Chuckler, Runner, and Sid).

STORY 12

Writer: @wolfandwildling

Artist: @liebgotts

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Edward “Hillbilly’ Jones/Andrew 'Ack-Ack’ Haldane

Side Pairings/Characters: Bob Leckie/ Bill “Hoosier” Smith (plus possibly references to extremely minor other pairings)

Summary: It’s Eddie’s last months of high school and all he wants is to have a good time with his friends on the soccer team and maybe win the trophy at the end of the season. However, changes in how players are grouped shake up the team as five new guys take the spots of old teammates. Instead of being a distraction from Eddie’s other major problem in life - does he tell Andy about his feelings or would that be a waste of time since they’ll be going to different colleges soon anyway and Eddie might 'get over it’ then? - it makes it even worse, because you can’t bond with your team without spending time with its captain, which means that if Eddie’s crush was bad before, it’s now beginning to reach epic proportions.

Additional Details:

STORY 13

Writer: @snafu-is-dying-sledge

Artist: @all-of-the-ships-are-sailing

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Eugene Sledge/Snafu Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: OC’s for both Snafu and Sledge but they will be minor

Summary: After Snafu misses Burgie’s wedding, Sledge gets concerned. He visits New Orleans but he finds a very different Snafu. Distant and basically a wreck. Sledge will come to understand his feelings for Snafu as he tries to help him, even though Snafu really doesn’t want to accept any kind of help.

Additional Details:

STORY 14

Writer: @gettingthatyellowjaundice

Artist: @everbodyhateselliot

Rating: General

Warnings: No archive warnings anticipated to apply.

Main Pairings/Characters: Eugene Sledge/Merriell “Snafu” Shelton

Side Pairings/Characters: Dr Edward Sledge, Mrs Sledge, Edward Sledge, Jr, possibly Eugene Roe

Summary: There are approximately 144 miles between New Orleans and Mobile, and Merriell Shelton will drive every single goddamned one of them if he has to. There’s nothing left for him in Louisiana, no place for him at his mother’s dinner table, not after everything he’s seen, everything he’s done. And hell, so what if Eugene’s parents act as if he’s come down to Alabama to dirty their baby boy’s perfect little soul? So what if Eugene’s squeaky-clean, god fearing neighbors look at him like he’s trash? Well, according to Sledge, it means one helluva lot. So two weeks after Merriell shows up at Eugene Sledge’s door like the lost mutt he is, the two of them pack their bags and drive to California. No, they don’t know anybody in California. No, they haven’t got any jobs waiting for them in California. But Eugene says it’ll work out, and, well, Merriell has always been so ready to trust Eugene with everything he’s got.

Additional Details:

STORY 15

Writer: @ailendolin

Artist: @alexpenkala

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Off-screen character death of OC’s

Main Pairings/Characters: Andrew 'Ack-Ack’ Haldane/Edward "Hillbilly’ Jones

Side Pairings/Characters: None

Summary: Andy/Eddie Modern AU. Andy is a first semester biology student with flatmates who like to party every night. Trying to find a quiet place to study Andy stumbles upon a diner around the corner where Eddie is working as a waiter. They become friends over the following weeks and when he realizes that Eddie’s life is more troubled than he lets on Andy makes it his mission to help him.

Additional Details: The story is pretty light and humorous mostly, but will deal with sad themes at times. It’s meant to be a hopeful story with the focus on helping someone in need, so it’s not going to be too dark.

#woohoo!#writer/artist pairings

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aaroncutler · 7 years

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Sunrise as Comedy [by David Kalat]

June 11th: The following text was written by film critic and historian David Kalat on the occasion of this year’s F.W. Murnau retrospective at the Brazilian festival Olhar de Cinema. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans screens in the festival June 11th and 12th. More information about the retrospective can be found in English at http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/en/2017/retrospective-f-w-murnau/ and http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/en/screenings-2/#.retrospective, and in Portuguese at http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/2017/olhar-retrospectivo-f-w-murnau/ and http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/filmes/#.olhar-retrospectivo.

Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau’s Sunrise is the dictionary definition of a classic film. It won (for all intents and purposes) the first ever Academy Award, has been placed on the National Registry, and was the first silent film put out on Blu-Ray. It routinely places in “Best Of” lists, it’s a picture whose artistry is intended to be accessible to mass audiences. It is conventionally beautiful, conventionally narrative, conventionally stirring. It needs no apologies or excuses, it’s just excellent in every way.

But did you know it was a comedy?

Consider the basic premise: Sunrise presents a sexy, vampish “Woman of the City” who invades a rural idyll where her very presence corrupts a naïve young man. In order to pursue this temptress, the young man comes to believe his only escape from his existing small-town romance is to kill his girl, which he utterly fails to accomplish, and thereby sets in motion the plot developments of the rest of the film.

Just six months before Sunrise hit theaters, American audiences saw the exact same plot in Harry Langdon’s comedy Long Pants!

In this context, it’s worth remembering that Langdon’s film crossed enough taboos (or do I mean tabus?) that some audiences didn’t find it funny at all. Meanwhile, Murnau does pitch Sunrise like a comedy, and its contents are not very much distinguishable from what constituted comedies of the same period. For example, Sunrise’s main characters go on a date to a carnival, where they run into money problems and an out-of-control animal (see Harold Lloyd’s Speedy), and the film climaxes with a catastrophic storm (see Buster Keaton’s Steamboat Bill, Jr.)

The young man (George O’Brien) rows out to the middle of the lake with his trusting wife (Janet Gaynor) where he intends to drown her. But when push comes to shove, as it were, he loses his resolve and rows mindlessly to the opposite shore, where they board a trolley car. And in one of the most astonishing sequences in all of cinema, the shell-shocked couple gather their wits as they are transported from what might as well be a medieval village straight out of Nosferatu through a forest to an industrial patch and finally arriving in a futuristic Metropolis, all in the span of a couple of minutes. There is no such trolley ride anywhere in the world—this thing might as well be a time machine.

The transformation is absolute. The opening scenes take place in a silent movie world of exaggerated gestures and portentous symbolism. But the city reveals more naturalistic acting, more observational in tone. And the city scenes are obsessed with the details of the setting—the cars, the clothes, the architecture, the store fronts, the people-watching, the traffic.

Dramas do not often get bogged down in such observational fascination with their setting. Although it happens sometimes (as with the semi-documentary approach of Billy Wilder’s People on Sunday, or perhaps Robert Wise’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture), this is a technique more familiar from comedies, where the observational detail is part of establishing the ironic commentary. Think Jacques Tati’s Playtime, or Chaplin’s City Lights, or Jean Renoir’s Boudou Saved From Drowning, or just about anything by Harold Lloyd.

Murnau introduces two outsiders into this cityscape—scraggly, haggard refugees from a horror film who have stumbled into this world in a state of high emotional dudgeon and will encounter it as if they are visitors from another planet. Again, the parallel is to a comedy’s structure, with the outsider hero(es) providing for a commentary on the world around them. Charlie Chaplin rarely stumbled into any of his adventures after a botched murder attempt, but all Murnau has done is to provide a context for his protagonists’ alienation where someone like Chaplin uses his costume as a shortcut to the same ends. Like Boudou or Mr. Hulot, George and Janet are outsiders invading this space. We will witness its familiar contours through their eyes.

Setting in a film in the juxtaposition of old versus new has been a central recurring feature of many important comedies (Steamboat Bill, Jr., Mon Oncle, Modern Times, Yoyo) and also specifically places Sunrise squarely in the zeitgeist of late 1920s comedy.

For example, consider what happens once George and Janet arrive in the city. They proceed to stumble from one episodic set-piece to another. In one of these, they crash a wedding ceremony and are overwhelmed by the moment (wedding vows take on an eerie significance when juxtaposed with trying to kill your wife). George breaks down, begs for forgiveness, and the two stagger into the street in a romantic haze. In another transformation of setting not unlike the trollycar ride that brought them here in the first place, they lose track of where they are and see themselves in the fields of home—until car horns bring them back to reality. And what ensues? Slapstick havoc in the middle of traffic, that’s what—a punchline, just like you’d expect. Traffic-based gags abound in comedies of this era. The scene emphasizes the modern tribulation of city streets packed with noisy cars going every which way.

Observations on the comic aspects of traffic are fundamentally the stuff of movie comedy. Thanks to the coincidence of the age of movies and the age of cars, there wouldn’t have been much to say about traffic prior to the dawn of film. It doesn’t really belong in any other medium. Paintings can’t capture the movement well; theatrical performances can hardly stage this indoors; no one would write a book about traffic because it isn’t a literary subject--but 1920s comedians put such material into movies all the time.

Pointedly, Sunrise does not view this transformation from rural life to modernity as a bad thing. It seems to be tilting that way in its early scenes, the way the evil vamp is called “Woman of the City,” as if her corruption is connected to her sophistication. Once George and Janet arrive in that city, however, what they find is wonder, fun, and welcoming strangers. The city folk are sometimes a little perplexed by the two rubes, but never in a mean way—and no matter what George and Janet do or misunderstand or break, they are greeted by smiles and tolerance.

Sunrise shows how the new world, threatening as it is to the old, doesn’t have to lead exclusively to corruption—it is possible to navigate your way through this modern world and still come out morally whole. As such, Sunrise is about hope in the face of wrenching change.

As it happens, 1920s screen comedy was itself undergoing a wrenching change, metamorphosing from silent physical slapstick to a new talkie genre of romantic comedy. The solo comedians of slapstick’s Golden Age had to make way for a new breed of female stars, who took equal footing with their male costars. The end product of that transformation would be the screwball comedy, whose genre conventions presuppose flirtation as a form of combat, or vice versa. The stars of 1930s romantic comedies “meet cute” and engage in reel after reel of open combat, before discovering that hate is just a variation on love; you have to really care for somebody deeply to want to fight them that badly. Fists give way to embraces and the former opponents end up in each other’s arms.

This is, you may note, the template of Sunrise—in which the couple starts off as opposed to one another as humanly possible, and end up as tightly allied as conceivable.

Sunrise is not just structured like a comedy, it is absolutely jam-packed with comedy actors. Janet Gaynor, the female lead, was a fairly inexperienced young actress whose resume before showing up here largely consisted of comedy work—Laurel and Hardy’s 45 Minutes From Hollywood, Syd Chaplin’s Oh What a Nurse, Clara Bow’s The Plastic Age, Charley Chase’s All Wet, and various and sundry Hal Roach one-offs.

Once she and her hubby/attempted murderer George O’Brien make their way into the city, they spend the rest of the film encountering comic actors: Ralph Sipperly, the Barber, came from Fox’s own comedy shorts division. Jane Winton, the Manicure Girl, came from such comedies as Footloose Widows, Why Girls Go Back Home, and Millionaires. Then there are the Obtrusive Gentleman (Arthur Housman) and the Obliging Gentleman (Eddie Boland). Both Housman and Boland were small-time comedy stars who were brand names in their own right, having top-lined their own respective series of comedy shorts.

On top of all the comic actors, there are actual jokes: the wedding reception mistaking the peasant couple for the bride and groom, the business at the photographer’s and the headless statue, the comic misunderstandings at the salon, and a drunken pig!

This is a “silent film” in that no dialogue is spoken, but it has a synchronized soundtrack that includes sound effects and music, and sure enough the various slapstick punchlines get their little “boing!” and “wah-wah” music cues just like you’d expect.

Murnau’s allegiance with the world of comedy continued in the follow-up feature to Sunrise, City Girl (whose title, a riff on “Woman of the City,” signals from the outset its agenda vis a vis Sunrise). City Girl opens with a scene in which a rube on a train unwisely reveals a fat bankroll and his own unwary attitude towards his money, rendering him an easy mark for the attention of a grafter. And once again we find Murnau pulling plot points from the films of Harry Langdon—in this case, the short Lucky Stars.

Murnau stuffed the cast of City Girl with comedy veterans, too: Eddie Boland is back (briefly); Guinn “Big Boy” Williams was a regular supporting actor in silent and talkie comedies (including the brilliant Ladies Night in a Turkish Bath with Jimmy Finlayson); David Torrence earned his slapstick comedy credentials a few years after working with Murnau, in the Laurel and Hardy film Bonnie Scotland; and Richard Alexander was on the front end of what would prove to be a wildly varied career that included Harry Langdon’s See America Thirst, as well as Laurel and Hardy’s Them Thar Hills and Babes In Toyland.

Finding such comedy references in a Murnau film may be jarring to those who think of him only in terms of Nosferatu and other grim fables. That may be a sizeable contingent, I realize. It is generally the tendency of critics who write about Murnau’s films to identify the comic elements as something imposed on Murnau against his wishes by the studio in an effort to Americanize and popularize his films.

The primary English language text on Murnau is Lotte Eisner’s The Haunted Screen — the very title of which signals its preoccupations and prejudices when it comes to Murnau. And so in her fealty to those prejudices, Eisner skips over, dismisses, or otherwise brushes under the rug any of Murnau’s works that don’t fit the bill.

Lotte Eisner suggests that all these tawdry jokes were inserted into Sunrise by Fox gag men and Murnau was obliged to go along with them. Hey, but wait a minute–Sunrise was famously made without studio interference, and even after his falling out with Fox, Murnau never said that Sunrise was anything other than a work of total creative freedom. You can’t have your cake and eat it too—you can’t say Murnau had total creative freedom but he also had to tolerate jokes inserted into the script against his will. If Sunrise was Murnau’s vision, his vision was prone to flirt with comedy.

Now might be the time to note, ahem, that The Last Laugh has its own comic elements, in which a bleak story comes to a tragic end, and then reboots itself as a comedy for its final reel—inspiring the English language title.

For that matter, Murnau made The Finances of the Grand Duke, a mild action-comedy about a master thief that in many ways anticipates similar lighthearted fare along the lines of Arsène Lupin or To Catch a Thief or a fair chunk of Steven Soderbergh’s back catalog.

The magic of Murnau is that his genius was not limited to vampires and demons—the man was also gifted with a deft comic touch. Sunrise is Murnau’s comedy masterpiece.

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birdlord · 7 years

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Every Book I Read in 2016

Here’s a list of the books I finished in 2016! By the way, keeping a list like this WILL make you disinclined to start books and not finish them...when I was going through my notes to write these up, I found one or two that I didn’t manage to finish, but otherwise I finished ‘em all! Asterisks mark re-reads (though there’s only one this year!). Here’s last year’s list.

01 * Anne’s House of Dreams; Lucy Maud Montgomery - There are plenty of unlikely plot points in LMM’s books, but this one really takes the cake (SPOILER ALERT): woman marries a man out of blackmail, he disappears at sea, returns brain damaged, gets trepanned in Montreal, and turns out to be his own cousin. WHAT IS THAT EVEN, LUCY

02 Kindred; Octavia E. Butler - Oh just your typical sci-fi time travel slavery story! A thoughtful gloss on the idea that time travel is a white-man’s game (since any other type of person is likely to be disregarded, or killed, or put in jail in an earlier time period in the West) & complicating any modern person’s idea that if they were put in a difficult situation in the past, they’d certainly be able to get out of it easily, with their superior knowledge. I just came across a graphic novel version in a bookshop today, so check that out too if you’re more inclined towards a graphic interpretation.

03 The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society; Annie Barrows & Mary Anne Shaffer - I read this without much prior knowledge, so I was surprised to find that this book with a cutesy title was in fact an epistolary novel about the German occupation of the Channel Islands, and as such is fairly intense (though still imbued with cheery, stiff-upper-lippishness).

04 The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: A Hmong Child, Her American Doctors, and the Clash of Two Cultures; Anne Fadiman - This is perhaps the first work of medical anthropology I’ve ever read, and it was eye-opening. It’s not that I didn’t know that western medicine doesn’t easily leap cultures, doesn’t cross cultural barriers in spite of our own belief in its efficacy. But knowing this abstractly is a different experience than seeing it laid out bare, in the body of a Hmong child in California, born with epilepsy.

05 Rain: A Natural and Cultural History; Cynthia Barrett - Two great tidbits from this book: 1) witch-hunts in Europe coincided with the worst years of the Little Ice Age, since witches were presumed to be affecting the weather. 2) Settlement of the Great Plains in the 1870s was brought on by mistaking weather (some wet years) for climate (arid with occasional wet periods).

06 In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex; Nathaniel Philbrick - This is the “real story” that inspired Melville to write Moby Dick. Or, a 2000 nonfiction history of that story, anyhow. Interesting narrative but I found it somewhat weakly-written - Philbrick weirdly (for a book about ships) consistently confuses the meaning of ship tonnage, which is a measure of volume, not mass. What a nit to pick, but here we are. The film version has some seriously bad CGI and added lots of stuff to juice the drama.

07 The State We’re In; Ann Beattie - A book of linked short stories, all set in Maine. I don’t know that I would have noticed that they were all in Maine if I hadn’t read it on the dust jacket, as it’s not really a set of stories where, like the setting is a character, or what have you. Not that I need everyone to be wearing a lobster as a hat, but the connection felt a bit weak.

08 Naked Airport: A Cultural History of the World’s Most Revolutionary Structure; Alastair Gordon - a book about the design of airports, from their earliest incarnations until the milennium. There’s some great material in here about airports and american imperialism in central and south america, under the auspices of Pan Am. Unfortunately I read the un-updated version, so it didn’t cover much in terms of the way airports have physically been changed since 9/11. I want THAT book.

09 The Argonauts; Maggie Nelson - This is probably the best piece of “confessional writing” I’ve ever read. It’s shot through with theory in a way that’s really invigorating, but is at the same time extremely personal and revealing, with thoughtful perspective on radically and motherhood, producing and reproducing.

10 A Bell for Adano; John Keene - More WWII occupation, but this time from the occupiers’ POV. An American major is assigned to administer a city in Italy, and decides to return their church bell to them. Hijinks, stereotypes, bureaucracy and some good ol’ American stick-to-itiveness ensue.

11 The Fly Trap; Fredrik Sjoberg - ostensibly a book about an entomologist who lives on an island in Sweden, it’s really a collection of digressions on summer, a fellow entomologist, travel, and collecting as avocation and vocation.

12 Spill Simmer Falter Wither; Sara Baume - the story of a man, and a dog, and the four seasons that they spend together; a year of increasing dread and discomfort. Exceedingly well-described, just thinking about this again months later has put me right back in a slightly damp Irish seaside town, full of prying watching eyes.

13 How to Watch a Movie; David Thomson - Often more of a biography of a film critic than a book teaching the reader “how to watch a movie”. He might well have called it “How to Watch a Movie Like Me, and Also Be Me, I’m Great”. I did appreciate the comparison of cuts in a film to periods after a sentence - a way of adding rhythm to a scene just as one adds it to a paragraph.

14 Mislaid; Nell Zink - A lesbian woman in 1966 in becomes enamoured of a gay professor at her college, marries him, has some babies, and leaves him a decade later. She and her daughter take to the south and live as African Americans, leading to some identity-politics hullabaloo and a pretty nonsensical over the top ending. Zink is poking at her readers, hoping they’ll feel uncomfortable.

15 Station Eleven; Emily St John Mandel - A lifetime of having Can-con thrust on me leaves me with the sense of vague embarrassment when a book is set in Canada. It feels specific where Americanness feels general, universal. Silly, I know. My desire to see an author’s description of how civilization collapses is ultimately well-satisfied in this book, though it takes a long time for the book to get there.

16 First Bite: How we Learn to Eat; Bee Wilson - A look at how we (and our families, friends, and cultures at large) shape our food preferences. Wilson takes us through her own past of disordered eating, and learning to feed picky children, all the while consulting with neuroscientists and nutritionists for backup. The overall message is about the possibility of change; even bad habits can be altered, even those learned as a wee babby.

17 The Slave Ship: A Human History; Marcus Rediker - This was an amazing, absorbing read, using the slave ship as a site to examine the slave trade in general, its innovations and consequences. Reducer points out that it’s only on the ship that Africans forged a collective sense of africanness, since they would have come from different linguistic and familial groups. It’s the shipboard life that allows the categories of “black” for the diverse enslaved people, and “white” for the multiethnic and multilingual crews to be created.

18 The Devil’s Picnic: Travels Through the Underworld of Food and Drink; Taras Grescoe - This guy is like a low-rent Canadian ersatz Bourdain. Blecch.

19 On Looking: A Walker’s Guide to the Art of Observation; Alexandra Horowitz - Horowitz takes the same walk with 11 different experts, in the hopes of learning or noticing something different every time. Perhaps because of being harnessed to this conceit, she often takes on the pose of a naif, which can strike the reader as a bit rich given that she’s got a PhD in psychology and works on animal behaviour. Is this the editorial hand, making sure the science doesn’t get to be too much?

20 Counternarratives; John Keene - Engrossing short stories (some longer than others, perhaps novella-length?) placed in various north and south american colonial contexts. Each is expanded from a short historical documents (e.g. newspaper announcements) and provides enough background to understand the subjects as complex people in their own rights.

21 An Age of License; Lucy Knisley - All of her books are pretty open, emotionally-speaking, but this one feels especially nakedly exposed. Her feelings will seem familiar to anyone who has gone through a big breakup, then made some assorted attempts to get their shit together. Not everyone gets to do that while on an expenses-paid European book tour, but there you are.

22 Something New; Lucy Knisley - Knisley made her name in graphic travelogues like the one above, but her more recent books concentrate on more conventional life milestones: marriage, pregnancy, motherhood. I read this book about wedding planning while planning my own, in summer 2016. While the problems I encountered were different than hers, I did actually find it useful (and yeah, I made sure that I read it in time for it to come in handy!).

23 Midnight’s Children; Salman Rushdie - This book made me wish for a great documentary (or something?) about India just after independence - I think there was loads of nuance that I didn’t capture at all due to my own ignorance. I found myself distracted frequently while reading this, which is especially bad since the book’s narrator is careening around constantly, breaking narrative rules all over the place. So beware losing focus, or you may be lost for some pages. I appreciated Rushdie’s description of the family’s privilege - our hero doesn’t describe his family as wealthy, and it’s easy to lose that fact until the moment of child-swapping. Or rather, returning?

24 Love & Other Ways of Dying; Michael Paterniti - A collection of harrowing essays, which – before you read the copyright page, which obviously everyone does, right? – you’d be right to assume that they were written for men’s magazines.

25 One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding; Rebecca Mead - Besides the graphic novel above, this is the only book about weddings I read whilst planning one. And it’s a polemic against the wedding-industrial complex that 1) felt considerably out-of-date 9 years after publication and 2) espoused ideas that I was already in the bag for. So, ok but not ground-shaking.

26 Down with the Old Canoe: A Cultural History of the Titanic Disaster; Steven Biel - Though I read the un-updated version of this book, there were a couple of takes that I found interesting here that I hadn’t come across before. Firstly, post-disaster narratives tended to cast Titanic as a moment of per-WWI loss of innocence, but this is overblown, since there was lots of unrest already in 1912 (e.g. extensive strikes during King George V’s coronation summer in 1911 which threatened starvation, suffragist demonstrations. And secondly, the idea of muscular Anglo-Saxon protestant manhood was reaffirmed culturally after the sinking, contrasting their nobility to emotion (perish the thought!) and violence from “latins” and other foreigners.

27 American Youth; Phil LaMarche - A slight little book about gun violence in New England, in which a fatherless (part-time, anyway) boy falls in with a group of conservative teen wingnuts, the sort who would now be recruiting on Reddit instead of at the high school cafeteria. Angsty and pretty much resolutionless, so a fine representation of the experience of adolescence.

28 A Severed Head; Iris Murdoch - Expect the sort of soap-opera plotting typical of Murdoch. Set in London during the choking post-war fog, which reasserts itself over and over. I’ve been hit over the head with her brilliance in the past (The Black Prince, sigh), and this one didn’t pull that particular trick, but I did enjoy it.

29 Their Eyes Were Watching God; Zora Neale Hurston - Janie talks her way through the American south, attaching herself to various places and people until she finds herself, finally, reasonably content. I thought it was interesting that her ability or inability (willingness or unwillingness) to bear children isn’t an issue in any of her relationships. I realize that this is a low bar to clear, but yeah, I’m happy when women aren’t reduced to their decisions about children.

30 A Burglar’s Guide to the City; Geoff Manaugh - Manaugh sees cities (and architecture) in a way that most people don’t, and in this case he’s taking on the mantle of the law-breaker, the intruder. The book combines tales of epic burglaries involving tunnelling & hiding, LAPD helicopter ride-alongs, lock picking seminars, and tidbits about the securitization of the city. E.g. did you know that Paris’ nickname The City of Light came originally from its streetlights, which were installed on police orders?

31 Networks of New York: An Illustrated Field Guide to Urban Internet Infrastructure; Ingrid Burrington - Look, I know you need an excuse to look at your city through different eyes. And here it is! Obviously some of this is NY-specific, but having the ability to see the physical traces of the internet’s infrastructure is a great superpower to have.

32 Pond; Claire-Louise Bennett - lacking a thread of narrative through the entire book, it’s uncertain whether the best way to read this is as a novel, or as a series of short stories with the same protagonist. A woman lives in an Irish cottage, and equally divides her time musing about her surroundings and her own mental state. A quote I liked: “Then it occurred to me that perhaps I’d been terrified for longer than all day, and had rather mixed feelings upon realizing that - I wasn’t much keen on the idea that I’d been terrified for years, but it seemed possible”

33 Anne of Tim Hortons: Globalization and the Reshaping of Atlantic-Canadian Literature; Hab Wylie - This book looks a literature that acknowledges the Atlantic provinces as a contemporary space, rather than as a place frozen in time, and set outside the forces of globalization and finance. That latter notion is shorthanded as “the folk”, eg “The Folk paradigm is complicit in the colonial tactic of constructing the land as unoccupied, because it cultivates the impression that the Folk have always belonged here”

34 February; Lisa Moore - Inspired by the above, I picked up this one from the library. It covers the story of the Ocean Ranger, an oil rig that sank with all aboard off the coast of Newfoundland in 1982, and its long-term consequences for a particular family. I found the interlocking timelines to be pretty effective, and the emotional fallout from the disaster is handled with the appropriate weight and solemnity.

35 Combat Ready Kitchen: How the US Military Shapes the Way You Eat; Anastacia Marx de Salcedo - Once you find out how much military logistics affects the way the civilian world fabricates, ships and even eats, it’s hard not to want to dig in a bit further. This is the story of how military rations became industrial foods. Interestingly, where the “clean-eating” food world might expect the author to reject the convenience foods whose history she’s tracing here, she takes a far more pragmatic approach. I was a bit less fascinated by the specific scientific advancements, and wish more time had been spent on the history.

36 Teenage: The Creation of Youth Culture; Jon Savage - A long monograph on adolescence prior to the creation (and cultural ascension) of the teenager in the post-WWII era. Naturally, no matter what the surrounding historical events, there’s always a generational divide between the young and their parents, and Savage plots that rift over and over again, from the 1890s to the 1940s. Sadly his research is restricted to Western Europe and North America only, I’d like to see something similar that has a broader scope (though I’m sure one of the prerequisites of a teen culture is some amount of surplus time, resources, etc which are certainly not available prior to the achievement of some serious development).

37 Our Young Man; Edmund White - A slim little thing (I’m sure all it ever snacks on is plain air-popped popcorn) with allusions to Oscar Wilde, and barely a place towards the AIDS crisis. A change of perspective in the final third was much appreciated, though the new protagonist is scarcely less self-obsessed than the first.

38 When God was a Rabbit; Sarah Winman - I felt a bit like this book’s reach exceeded its grasp. It felt more like a homey, British ensemble dramedy than the lofty Literature it presents itself to be. I was, however, with it until world events (I’ll keep it spoiler-free for y’all) crash into the narrative in a clumsy and un-earned fashion.

39 The Sport of Kings; CE Morgan - A huge, and wide-ranging tale about lineage, blood, wealth and slavery in Kentucky, with a thin veneer of horses to help the whole thing go down a bit easier. Both massively compelling and by times stomach-turning, this is book can be a rough read. I could see a tilt into High Melodrama appearing in the final quarter or so, and I wished mightily that it wouldn’t go where I thought it was going…..but it did.

40 The End of Average; Todd Rose - I was hoping for an interesting history of the science of averages, and/or the idea of designing for “the average human” and that’s what I got in the first third or so. Then the book devolves (or evolves, I guess, depending on your perspective) into a gung-ho self-help book about bootstrapping your way to the top, even if you’ve been disregarded your whole life. Meh.

2016 by the Numbers

Read on a screen 1

Read on paper ALL THE REST :):)

Book Club Reads 4 (our club met 7 times this year, but 3 of those book I’d finished in 2015)

Graphic Novels 2

Fiction 19

Nonfiction 21

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tinseltine · 5 years

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PRETTY WOMAN THE MUSICAL vs. PRETTY WOMAN THE MOVIE

Tinsel & Tine's Quick Look at

PRETTY WOMAN THE MUSICAL

By Le Anne Lindsay, Editor

In March 2014, it was announced that a musical adaption of the 1990 movie which made Julia Roberts a household name, was being developed for the stage, with original screenwriter J.F. Lawton and director Garry Marshall attached to write the book. Marshall worked on the musical adaptation up until his death, July of 2016. Pretty Woman The Musical had its off Broadway premiere at the Oriental Theatre in Chicago in March 2018 and opened on Broadway August 16, 2018 - I got to see a Broadway matinee on Saturday August 18th - thanks to my sister Alyssa, who made sure we bought Hagey Bus tickets to see the show very early on. We've both seen Pretty Woman the movie about 20x or more since the infectious rom/com first soared into theaters over 25 years ago (Click HERE for Tinsel & Tine Celebrates 25 Years of Pretty Woman post) so we really enjoyed the novelty of seeing it on stage as a musical, dissecting each scene to see what they kept, changed or expanded. And I can happily say, they keep almost everything, everything important anyway, and practically word for word... except, she doesn’t fling the escargot across the restaurant.

Unfortunately, if you don't have a deep connection to the movie, and you're coming to the show because you like Broadway musicals, then I feel you'll be disappointed because Pretty Woman The Musical can't stand on its own as a great show. The story doesn't translate as well without Julia Roberts & Richard Gere, under Garry Marshall's direction. The love story seems a little flat on stage, not nearly as magical and engaging as the film. Plus, although they left it set in the early 90's, which actually in the movie feels more 80's, you don't get the same sense of nostalgia for this time period from the sets and props as you do when watching the movie. But the main issue with Pretty Woman the Musical is the lyrics & score, written by 80’s soft rocker Bryan Adams and his writing partner Jim Vallance. I found almost all the songs to be annoying, completely uninspired and identical to one another - a driving rock beat underneath, with a tuneless musical theater sound on top. The exception being 2 songs - “On a Night Like Tonight” which worked as a good dance number, and “This is my Life” which uses dialogue from the movie as lyrics. I really wish they could have worked in songs from the original soundtrack, which I love.

Samantha Barks (Vivian Ward) in the title role is lively and expressive, but she doesn’t bring the same attitude as Roberts, still, she’s very likable. Andy Karl (Edward Lewis) is supposed to be a top get for the musical, as he’s done a number of movies turned Broadway shows like Legally Blonde, The Wedding Singer, Groundhogs Day, Rocky and more. But for me, he just looked the part, but didn’t bring much to the role of corporate raider Edward Lewis. They expanded the role of Vivian’s hooker roommate, Kit, which is a mistake. The actress Orfeh, (just goes by one name) is impressive, with a huge, belting voice, but there’s a reason why in the movie this character only shows up in 3 specific scenes, because that’s all that’s needed.

What I was most pleased with, was the costume design by Gregg Barnes, because he really stayed very close to the movie, the hooker outfit was recreated to a T, as well as her polka-dot dress worn during the Polo scene, except instead of dark brown, they change it to blue, which pops better on stage.

ALYSSA'S REVIEW: I’m glad you didn’t write what other critics wrote about it not be gritty enough for the subject matter and that the character of Vivian came across too fresh and bubbly even though she was a hooker. I think either you can accept the idea of prostitution as a comedy or not. (It’s like the show Hogan’s Heroes, either you can find Nazi war camp funny or not but you can’t make it a drama.) I swear this whole #Metoo movement is spoiling a lot of fun for movies and tv and other comedy shows. That’s why those Pretty Woman musical t-shirts had to have all those sayings about her being proud and fierce and all that because the show was afraid of the backlash. But we’re women and the t-shirts didn’t work on us because it’s not from the movie. And anyway, in the Pretty Woman movie the script already implies all that in the fact that Viv and Kit are not like most prostitutes because they have no pimp …. “I say who. I say when.” One critic complained the show opening with tourists taking pictures of Skinny Marie dead behind the dumpster is treated too lightly. But it’s the same joke from the movie--it was funny then, but apparently not now that it’s on Broadway. Why does every show has to being saying something meaningful? Can’t anything just be for fun? That’s what I always loved about Gary Marshall (and Aaron Spelling), he never took anything too seriously. I’ve been thinking about it and I think where the musical went wrong in the casting of Edward is that he’s supposed to be much older than Vivian (like the age gap between Richard Gere and Julia Roberts) to give the character more of a contrast and a world-wearyness, just like in the musical Gigi, Gaston is much older than Gigi. I think it helps a lot to explain why successful, rich men like Edward and Gaston find poor, lower class women like Vivian and Gigi so appealing and refreshing. But at least Andy Karl was handsome and they didn’t cast a Seth Rogen type, which according to romantic comedies for the past decade is to supposed to be the ideal new leading man. (No thanks.) I also don’t think they had to insist on an 80’s themed musical score just because the movie was written back then. It was like the show was trying so hard to make you know the story was taking place at a different time. I’m not sure why, are there no longer prostitutes on Hollywood Boulevard? Actually, whenever I still watch the movie I think it still holds up well after all these years. Maybe today you’d have to change the model of the car and a few locations, but that’s about it. All in all, I’m glad the musical mostly kept to the movie’s tone because I think it’s meant for the fans of the movie who accepted and loved the fairytale premise from the first time they saw it and never needed any convincing.

All in all, we both feel very grateful that we got a chance to see it on Broadway, especially this early, and see it together; but we can't really recommend it to non-pretty woman fanatics.

#broadway #movie vs broadway #Pretty Woman #julia roberts #Richard Gere #Pretty Woman the Musical #sisters trip #garry marshall #favorite movie of all time #musical theatre #Hagey bus tour

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