## "𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘"

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 ! 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘔𝘓 𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘐𝘉𝘛𝘐 𝘕𝘈𝘋𝘖𝘖𝘕 @sttarzxx 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, the paraghraph text and response to it was copy and pasted from me and the dude this happened to me withs chat......... 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 2 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘋𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 (𝘫𝘬)

"im gonna do it. im gonna text him."

you were on vc with your best friend. for context, you had a crush. a MASSIVE crush on a boy named robby. you had liked him for 2 years now, the only bad thing? you guys were barely friends. you guys had a class together, and he would always talk to you (hed call u weird when u declared you were spiderman.).. all until you left school for second semester. you hadnt seen robby in about 6 months, but you still liked him (attachment issues go hard). u guys used to text, too. itd mostly be u texting with double chats and him replying in a dry way... but u still liked him AHAHA, so 2 days ago.. you asked your friend for his number...

"hey"

you texted, and he replied right away

"hi"

after that, you guys had texted for 5 minutes, asking things like "hru" or "wyd" until he finally said

"who even are u?"

your eyes widened seeing this, and you were a pussy, so you said

"im f/n (fake name)"

you guys, for another day kept texting back and fourth.. the only thing is, you acted like u didnt have a clue who he was, what he liked, and what he did.

"i do karate, i think its cool to have balance in your life and karate gave me that."

..... you already knew that, but you couldnt help but act like u didnt.

it was like u two havent met eachother. but little did u know, he was observant as fuck.

"you know u remind me of someone, u text the same as her. her name is y/n"

he said, and ur eyes widened. u couldnt believe that he had memorized your texting style. but you were a pussy, so u denied it.

a couple days go by and u guys still text, you overthink everything he says and you were starting to think your friends were getting tired of you ranting ab it to them all the time. there was this one time where u two had been talking, and the convo? it wasnt good. at all.

"k"

he said, and you furrowed ur eyebrows...

"WYM K?? THATS LIKE THE DRIEST MESSAGE EVER"

....

"yeah ik"

...... what? you couldnt believe it. was he bored of u already? were u being too annoying? were u just a bother?

your heart sunk, and u felt ur knees go weak. not weak in a "i just folded" typa way, but in a "im gonna kms" typa way.

your thoughts kept flooding with things like "i just annoyed him" or "he doesnt want to talk to me anymore." and you wanted to cry.

you start to rant ab it to your friends, balling ur eyes out as u do, you were in ur head about it, letting it get to you. your hands trembled as u typed about it to your friends. you had always been insecure about your personality, not wanting ppl to see u as too much or crazy. so u finally replied to him.

"ok"

its been 15 since youve been on delivered (or read, he didnt have read recipts on)

u desperately wanted to talk to him so u sent anotyher message

"hihii"

when he replied, you got so happy u forgot about the fact that you were crying about him the night before. but the thing is, he would leave u on read the whole day, and it stressed u out.

everyone had been telling u to just tell him who u were, and to stop being a pussy. hell, even snap ai wasnt on your side. so u write a paragraph, wanting to send it to him

"hi robby, so ive been feeling kinda bad recently for this and i hope u forgive me and that this doesnt ruin our 'friendship' kinda thing going on, basically i lied ab like a couple things and i feel bad IFDJNEJN so uh im y/n (u guessed right kinda craz) and IK I LIED AB NOT KNOWING B/F/N BUT I FELT LIKE ITD BECOME AWKS and stuff, f/n is my online name since ion give my real name out (and its a nickname my freinds call me), im sorry for acting like i didnt know who u were i was just being a pussy difjejfn but the truth is i asked b/f/n to send me a bunch of (school name) numbers and u was like the only person (other than 2 girls) who texted me back and I DIDNT KNWO IT WASS U AT FIRST but when u told me who u were i didnt know how to keep the 'friendship' going (r we friends??? idek atp) nd ik this is gonna make everything awkward and stuff but uh yeah im really really sorry for lying 2 u and i hope we can still b friends lol (ts up 2 u//im coming back next year too so idk if that helps EKJFNEIJNF)"

SENT !

... you were stressing atp, would he block u? would he be dry? would he ghost u? say "oh ok"? call u weird and tell everyone?

you didnt know how to feel, you wanted to cry. you were in ur head about this whole situation and u couldnt help but overthink. so u turn to your best friends, wanting-- no, needing reassurance. they continue to tell u its okay and that he wont break your heart. but you cant help it, that feeling. that feeling of your heart sinking, the feeling of the lump that forms in your throat, the feeling where you just want to feel better. but you cant. you were paranoid. you were tearing up. but you forced yourself not to cry, u didnt wnat to be a crybaby, but u couldnt help it. the tears had already formed and started to fall, your vision fogging up and your eyelashes wet. you couldnt believe u thought ur lifew could be like a wattpad love story. you were cracking your knuckles and picking at the skin around your cuticles, something u did when u were stressed. you then went to bed, hoping everything would be okay.

the next morning u wake up. the first thing u do is check every other social media and dm before his, you had a feeling he was gonna make u cry (again).

when u finally open the text, your whole expression lights up.

"I mean I suspected it and I am personally fine with the lie you told and yea I can forgive u but as you know I am a dry texter"

you were so happy. u couldnt believe it. you quickly change his contact name back from "oh" to "ROBBYYY! <33" and you smiled so big your jaw started to hurt

maybe there was a chance.

@/ilovesillycats

plz dont copy my work 😞

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

Left Behind Part 2 (Lucien x reader)

a/n: your wish is my command even if only one or two people wish, it is still my command. Wow 2 posts in one day!

⚠️: few curses

Masterlist part 1 part 3 epilogue

Luciens POV

Luciens words rang through the room before silence fell again. Finally Alex growled and drew a knife. Lucien started at the sight of the blade, he’d gifted that to y/n when they first became a couple.

“I am so such thing. I am y/n’s daughter because my so called ‘father’ never bothered with me.” She snarled and advanced on Lucien. He opened his mouth but no words came out because he knew she was right. He hadn’t bothered with this girl at all. jurian stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Alex to restrain her.

“I- I didnt know you existed, Im so sorry.”

“Sorry dosent cover it, father. You at least could have visited my mom, you two lovebirds were together 37 years after all.” Alex put the knife away and Jurian hesitantly released her. Lucien felt like ducking under the table and yelling I dont exist! Alex started again, “and you broke up with her for a female who has been giving you the cold shoulder ever since you’ve met!” Alex sat down miserably her indifferent mask falling into a mask of anger and longing. longing for a fatherly figure, Lucien realized. this time when Alex spoke her voice was softer, “Mom got a promotion to emissary of the dawn court 5 years ago but she couldnt even enjoy it because you promised her that once she got that promotion, the two of you would go to the winter court together. She hasn’t even looked at another male in that way because she still fucking loves you. You who left her for another, you who never came back, not even to visit. And yet she still harbors the hope that one day you might return her love. She thinks you're worth fighting for.”

The last words were spoken so softly that Lucien had to lean in to hear them. She thinks you’re worth fighting for. She still loves you.

Lucien stood on wobbly feet and rounded the table to pull his daughter into a tight hug. To be the person she fought for and to be the shoulder she cried on.

*****

Y/N’s POV

Y/n couldn’t find Alex anywhere, having just gotten back from a tiring day at work she had searched most everywhere for the kid. God damned 14 year olds. There was only one place left; Jurian and Vassa’s manor. She groaned at the thought of flying there, plus it was dusk, they would have to stay the night. That is, if Alex was even there.

On the flight to the manor, y/n’s thoughts strayed to Lucien. She, Rhys, and Feyre had become good friends during their meetings they had. Rhys had told her Elain still showed no interest in Lucien (something y/n couldnt fathom) and was always giving him the cold shoulder. That made her feel smug.

When she reached the manor, the sun was down and her wings were starting to ache from all the flying today. Alex had better be here, she was going to murder that child. Y/n banged on the door until she heard footsteps on the other side. The door opened and Jurian stood there, when he beheld her he paled. She cracked a smile. “I don’t look that bad do I?”

Jurian smiled slightly thought it didnt reach his eyes. “Nah, Alex is here.” He sighed, pulling her into a hug. “He’s here. He and Alex… talked. I think they’re getting along. Also, why do I have to play chaperone?”

Y/n stiffened at his words but smiled wryly, “because it’s your house.” She brushed past him with a grateful pat on the back as he followed her to the dining room. She was immediately greeted with a hello and hug from Alex. Stepping around Alex, y/n shot her a look that said, you are so getting murdered. Alex had the nerve to smirk.

“Y/n….”

Her eyes went straight to Lucien and she barley held back a gasp. She hadn’t seen him in so long. He was gorgeous.

Y/n and Lucien stared at eachother for what seemed like eternity until Jurian cleared his throat pointedly.

“As much as I love Fae staring contests, Vassa will be here soon so lets prepare some dinner shall we?”

The two broke eye contact and simultaneously glowered at Jurian. Jurian gulped. Alex saved him. “Im hungry so stop staring and be productive.” Jurian shot her a grateful look. Both fae turned their glares to Alex who dragged Jurian into the kitchen.

It was going to be a long night

A/n: Part 3? Ask and you shall be tagged

Lore dumping my fnaf au

I just remembered that I inserted myself and my best friend into the au for funsies (you'll notice I do that a lot. This is how cringe I am)

In my first draft I went on a rant abt how much I hated Wilbur's face but after going back to fix it I just needed to add his glasses LMAO. Initially I forgot about the face paint until I stared at my ref LMAO it's supposed to look faded and I think I did a pretty damn good job

Other than that the rest is fine. Erm. I didn't think I'd yap so much about that the actual lore is below the cut lawl

This is Maya!!!! (she/they) she's the mechanic in the pizzaplex, is addicted to caffeine, and is my bestest friend !!!!!! In the au we live together and also work at the same place that's so funny ‼️‼️

They usually work the night shift but if there needs to be emergency repairs during the day they're always on call for that. Nights usually consist of checkups and clean up of the animatronics and androids (will get into that later).

Clearly, I have a favorite, so he's also my favorite in the au itself LMAO cSoda works in the daycare but often leaves to bother the animatronics ☝️☝️‼️‼️

the daycare has an art station so that's where they work, they also help clean up and watch over the kids with the daycare androids !!! Who are *drumroll* Mumbo and Grian !!!!

(I forgot the makeup in this doodle,, and apparently the white stripe on the red part of the dress uggghh) the daycare androids are supposed to be more human looking to not scare the little kids, but cartoony (and tall) enough to differentiate from the human coworker. I like to imagine their faces are rly simple bc they're LED screens with projected expressions to make emotions n stuff. Plus I wanted to keep their faces similar to their skins with an in universe reason for it pfsjshgdhdh

Tumblr keeps bugging out every time I wanna post and it's DRIVING ME INSANE !!!! half this post got deleted and I'm SO MAD ABOUT IT but anyway here's the refs I made like 2 years ago. Their designs haven't changed since I made them so I probably won't remake them unless I start hating my old art enough LMAO

The canon heights I never wrote down so here they are: Ranboo 8'0, Wilbur 7'2, Maya 5'4, I'm 5'7, Grian 7'0, Mumbo 8'0, James 7'0, Tommy 6'6, Jimmy 5'5 and Schlatt wasnt in the AU at the time but he's 6'4

I didnt really make this au for anything except silly scenarios and because making the designs were fun pFF ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION Sneeg is dj music man !!!! I never got around to drawing him before since I just figured out recently I wanted him to be dj music man so yeah !!

I know this isn't that much of a lore dump but I think I got all my thoughts out for now lawl everything will be under the animatronicfication au tag :v

I have GOT to draw Wilbur the way I used to. The biblically accurate animatronic eyes do NOT look good in my art style 😭😭 also I just noticed I basically painted the same thing into my sketchbook wtf I completely forgot about this doodle until I found it after digging for au art 🤯🤯

trigger warning for self harm imagery and vent

about 4 years ago, one night during quarantine i attempted to cut out my right eye. I didnt get very far and there isnt any damage to my sight, but theres a scar that shows when my skins irritated and sometimes it weeps. I feel comfortable talking about it now, and its not a trigger for me which is why i felt ok posting this art. i struggled with a self harm and mutilation addiction for a long time before and after it, so it didnt even really bother me really at the time. I had started self harming at around 9 and practiced consistantly until i was 16.

I remember after the incident i just kind of sat at my desk for hours watching youtube videos. I cleaned up the other areas and bandaged them, i took stolen prescriptions i shouldnt have to numb the pain. It also didnt help that the girl i had been clost friends with for a while and was dating then and for a long time after that heavily encouraged me to hurt myself because of her own twisted issues.

i was 15 years old. I had friends i could have called and i had family in the other room. But i still felt alone. Its been over 2 years now since ive had a self harm incident, and im better then ive ever been. I didnt think id ever be at the point where i could talk about it or go more than a few days without wanting to hurt myself.

honestly i dont think id be alive if it weren't for emo culture, even tho it definitely glamorized sh at times there where so many songs that made me feel less alone.

so to the people reading this that are self harming, your not a failure. You dont have to feel ashamed. It gets better one day. And even if you quit for a while and relapse, thats still better than doing it all the time. Please cut off people who encourage you to hurt yourself. Please be open with others you can trust about your issues. sometimes the only thing holding you back from it is jsut a distraction like a silly youtube video or band, and thats ok.

the msi song "kill the rock" reminded me of that night. Im not sure why. probably the lyric "nothing hurts anymore". its a double meaning for me. at the time nothing hurt anymore because i was to numb to feel the pain. I still have nerve damage. But now, those thoughts dont hurt anymore.

 tw death  / cancer / grief

can people stop getting cancer please my mom has had enough things to worry about !!!!!! give her a fucking break!!! she has enough shit worrying about ME bc im a depressed little cunt. we dont need more stressors in her life.

we just got done w my dads grave. 450 for some stone and sand or whatever. and now my uncles wife let my mom know that she has cancer n its in the liver or something. my mom instantly went to complain about the vaccines. how the ufkc do you know. do sth productive instead of instantly jumping on the anti vax train. girlie pop has cancer be sensitive. i know i am very detached because i cant be fcking bothered with another funeral another dead family member. like i have no emotions toward it because my dad dying alreayd took so much out of me and ive lowkey still not recovered. when dad died i didnt really cry until i got a covid scare when i had a full breakdown 2 days after the funeral lol . and nowadays i only cry about my dad in my dreams. its weirdly poetic like that. i only cry for him when im dreaming because in my awake my brains too occupied. idk something something cringey emo lyrics. like just a few days ago i had another dream where iwas sobbing about my dad being dead . its so weird that hes gone man !!! he was JUST HERE but no its been like a year and a half or sth, he died on 28/12/21  so he literally dropped dead right at new years, so we started the new year with a new family of 2 lol.  weird. people need 2 stop dying is what im getting at. stop getting cancer. i know you cant control that but WHY IS EVERYONE RIDDLED WITH CANCER?????????? do *I* HAVE CANCER????? fucking mental  i dont wanna thnk about it. cancer fucking sucks so bad. worst disease

2014x2024

Couple days ago, I was looking through some my old messages with my friend and how I register everything it was going on that time with details that I didn't put in the tumblr. Looking back, I was in college, with different notions of what is right for me, still relaying alot in my parents...Thinking that if I believe in them or their ideas of what is right, I would gain more love. It didnt happen, I was very miserable at that time. But to not be unfair, there was times that they would support me still. Those times were helpful and nice. But still it was a lot to handle for a 22 year old girl. A girl who never left the city. A girl who grown most of the time isolated from the world. A girl who is trying to be taken seriously as a musician and as human being.

College was very difficult. Let me explain to you: by 2014, the college has in its total just 5 students. Me, a boy who is nice and younger than me, a boy who is rich but was rebel without any cause it was just stupid...A guy who I used to have a big crush but he was a jerk, and his friend. College has three cool teachers. And one asshole teacher. (Ok, there were two asshole teachers, both in different levels)

To handle a crush, which I waited months and months to take the courage to say my true feelings for him, and some teacher chauvinism, and my college mates chauvinism, and my dad's chauvinism and narcissism, was absolutely hard as fuck. I did what I could. And it surprises me on how I was able to learn anything at all.

My favorite teacher was there too. And he was the only good person to me. The other teacher who was his friend was so rude at the time, in the first classes, I said that "i was so distracted doing something that I forgot to eat", that he called me stupid. STUPID(!).

The college was ruled by a guy who was truly a stupid and bad character guy. lets call this guy A.

The rude teacher, lets call him M. ...was with me and my two other class mates (both boys) out to get lunch. We were talking about my favorite teacher who wasn't there that night. Lets call this teacher B.

"I thought the teacher B was an asshole at first" - said one of my classmates.

" I liked teacher B when I met him"- I said like....all ok..

"Gosh Thazi, even the director A. you like!! " - said the asshole classmate.

The rude teacher laughed hard.

I remember that night until this day. And it is such a misconception about me that "I-like-everything-nothing-bothers-me". Well, I used to fucking hate this classmate. Because he was stupid, he was always interrupting classes to say some fucking shit that doesn't matter. HOW COULD HIM compare A. that was a fucking asshole, thieve, to B. who is a fucking wonderful teacher. Who was the only one who truly treat me nicely. Assholes. I would punch him in the face if that asshole classmate would say that for me today.

=======================

reading the conversations about college, also realize of how the teacher M. was so rude to me, so mean unnecessarily...And I was at that time was like "such a shame, cause I thought he was so nice at first and I even thought he was pretty!". With teacher M. being so rude I used to skip his classes to take care of my emotional health who got so fucked up in 2015.

The teacher B. was truly nice from the start, he said something sexist in the very first message I send to him...A silly joke about: dont use pink pen to do the exercise. lol (so silly and so not like him). But i didnt see evil in that cause I really loved pink so...But then, he was always so nice, he was always saying interesting things, and he even gave me 2 books and a music sheet of beatles. He was my advisor when I was making my final paper for college. He was truly the best.

And he is one my best friends until this day. And I feel very lucky to have him as a friend. Very lucky. Sometimes I feel like, I am not even enough to be a friend of his. But since I learned to have self confidence that sometimes it works...I believe I have something good inside of me that maybe is useful.

So if you always have doubt of getting a diary...Please do it.

Dont let your insecurities tell that you were wrong.

Register your days, remember who were the persons there for you. Have this in mind but dont be stuck in the past. Just understand your past and then move on.

i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.

its sad, honestly.

i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks

thats nearly a month since ive seen her

im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao

idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...

i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice

i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is

im so bored. i have to be the problem

i really think i am

"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.

maybe its because theyre busy

maybe at work

going to work

hanging out with other friends

going to hang out with other friends

i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one

i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore

so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out

after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).

when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.

this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her

a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.

i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...

now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.

she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.

she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.

Hello you moody lefty eyebag. 😌 I hate when it's like that, I get so down and start crying, then next thing I know, I have it. Then everything makes sense as to why I was being sad hahaha

Sounds like you were busy today! Wait, so you got hit in the nose today?? Also, what did you make for dinner?

Yeeeeah I am that kind of stubborn person. But! I also just don't like going to the doctors, I hate wasting my time if it's nothing serious.

I think I am more of a sweet person haha. If I go out to eat, the place has to have good dessert. Either I get cake or pie or ice cream. If you visit my house, my freezer is half filled with Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and great value ice cream lol

Nah I think we were 2 shots in. It would have been bad if I threw the shot glass.

Hahahaha that's pretty good! Yeah I know a lot of corny ones and if I ever have a chance, I do puns too. I'm horrible, I love dad jokes.

Hm I don't remember what color the box is for samoas but it's the chocolate with coconut. Like orange on top with chocolate drizzle. Speaking of cookies, I like both. I love it when I make it and it's fresh out of the oven, it's also soft. But then, I love chips ahoy, as long as I have milk to go along with it 😄 and definitely for brownies, I like the middle the most. Weird thing though is that I can't just eat brownies by itself. I always have to have vanilla ice cream with it. How about you, what are your preferences for cookies and brownies?

Also whats your favorite Pringles flavor? I like snacking on sour cream n onion chips or BBQ chips. Oh and cheetos puffs.

I think I wanna learn magic. Being a vampire will get too boring if I live too long.

Would you rather dance the macarena for a whole day or listen to baby shark the whole day?

-CuriousGeorge

haha yeah, when I'm moody like that, I could cry for no reason and I could be very angry even at small stuff. I would say bunch of snarky comment or sarcasms. lol. That's why I always warn others if it's close to that time so they'll know that I dont mean it. hahaha. n then I turn to a nice person again when I'm done with the cycle. lol.

oh no, I didnt get hit on the nose today, thank god. lol. It happened years ago. I think I was at south lake tahoe at that time in spring season, so it was nice out n we played catch but then i got hit and the fun time turned bloody. good thing it hit my nose, i was worried I lost a teeth or two. lol

I made the same dinner, club sandwich from turkey and ham leftover. but today is the last day. I have a 3 days rule in my fridge food storage. unless it's bbq, i read that bbq meat can stay good 5 or even 7 days in the fridge.

yeah i agree with u, going to doctors can be really expensive here.

ah i see,, I'm not really like that, i sometimes check what desert they have but if it doesnt have anything chocolate, i dont really bother to have some, unless if the people who eat with me wants some and wants to share, then I'm down to have desert.

ohhh i looove ben and jerry's ice cream! what's ur favorite? mine is new york super fudge chunks. You should try it! It's so good! it has fudge, brownies, almonds, pecan, choclate bits n white chocolate bits. when i eat that, I always have extra bowl so i can scoop out the pecan and the white chocolate bits out. lol. because i dont like them. aaaand this habit is in my Lost in Assistance series. Y/n has the same habit and Lizzie notice that then when she gets y/n that ice cream, she brought extra bowl for y/n to scoop them out. lol. What's ur fav ice cream flavor?

haha if i were the bartender n u do that to the shot glass, I would hate u. lol.

oh no, u r not horrible, I looove dad jokes. Sometimes they are so funny.haha. u have dad jokes to share with me?

aah yeah, i remember that samoas cookies.

ah okay, thats funny. I never really drink regular white milk. i dont really like it, I like chocolate milk. so i never eat cookies with milk until i tried not too long ago n i was like "fuck, thats actually good. I have been missing it this whole years of my life?" lol. im dumb someitmes. lol.

I like soft cookies n i dont like the crispy ones. i think i like the middle soft part and I dont like to eat it with vanilla ice cream. not a fan of vanilla ice cream. :D i know i'm weird.lol.

fun fact, I have my weird way to eat ice cream. i like to have it in a small ball or cup n i will try to stir the ice cream until it's kinda melted n start eating it or until it's quite melting and just slurp it / drink it. and if i have it on a cone or popsickle, I bite the ice cream. I put this in my lost in assistance's Y/n's way of eating ice cream. I remember some people in wattpad comment in the part she bites the ice cream "bite the ice cream? who bites ice cream? only psychopath." lol.

i like the original pringles or the bbq or the scorchin hot bbq. for ruffles, i like original and also the sour cream one. ooh i remember, lays used to have the ginger wasabi flavor, i looooove that so much. hahaha. it sucks they dont have it anymore.

i dont mind live forever if i can live it with the people i love.haha.

oooh thats easy, i pick macarena. baby shark songs drive me NUTS!. even before I have my daughter. I vowed I will never play it to my kids and told my husband "after emily is born, DO NOT ever, I repeat, DO NOT ever play baby shark for her. I dont care how u do it, u have to avoid introducing her to that shitty kids song." n i said it in serious face. i hate repetitive sounds. lol. n baby shark is repetitive n overplayed. but then I found a different version of baby shark song and it is sooooooo much better, n I let her listen to it sometimes. then he was like wtf? i thought we wont play it ever? hahahahah. n i told him this one is different n more enjoyable.

If u wanna know which one, u can google baby shark super simple songs and u'll see what I meant. hahaha. n now em like to play chase with that song n pretend she is the shark or I am the shark. sometimes she dances to it. the original song the sound and the voice is annoying and it makes me feel like everything spinning but the room gets tighter n tighter n smaller. I dont know why. I told u that im weird. lol

what about u? which one u pick?

Cheerio!

nova i have a friend that literally always copies me😭 so im in a 4 person friend group, and she's always been kinda hostile and fake friendly towards me. she never looked at me when she's telling a story to the 4 of us or even 3 of us. like ever, she just looks at my 2 other friends. and im a 'if you do it to me, i'll do it to you too' kinda person so thats not helping at all. if its the 3/4 of us, she's this crazy loud kinda person. but if its just the 2 of us, she turns into this quiet mom-like kinda person. and she would CUT ME OFF when im talking?! idk which is the real her or which is her front face but its just very unsettling ig.

1. at the beginning of this year i downloaded a dating app bcs frankly im lonely lmao. and mind you all three of my friends all have bf. and this girl also downloaded the same dating app that i used and would always brag ab this guy that, this guy this. it was the first time where i was like 'umm... i dont know how i feel ab this... but i dont like it...'

2. i like to do a mini story time/haul/mental breakdown vlog on my private account right, but i have not done that in so long bcs well pandemic happens. and we all started to be friends around late 2020. so last year, i started to do those videos again but very rarely. this year though a lot happened and so i have more materials for my little private account audience lmao. then she started doing those stuff too w literally the same format. i didnt think of it at first bcs a lot of my friends does it too. until, i did this phone case haul/review thing bcs i just realized that i kept buying them for no reason (hoarding them🫣) and she did the same thing!!! like literally few hours after mine. this keeps happening to this day. idk why it bothers me sm but i does

3. i've always dyed the half bottom of my hair since 2020 and i always kinda update my private account ab it. so few days ago, i re dyed it bcs im going somewhere soon right. the same deal, half bottom of my hair, then post it on my private account. tell me why i opened my instagram and she literally did the same thing... she dyed the half bottom of her hair... w the same vlog style... mind you, she didn't say anything ab my hair yesterday. nothing at all.

and there's so much more. nova am i the toxic one? pls tell me if you think so. i just feel bothered w all this stuff. like she can do whatever she wants but dud like if you hate me tell me you hate me? dont just force yourself to befriend me bcs of the friend group? the copying stuff is just too often to say 'oh its just a coincidence'. my other friends would say stuff like 'dude where did you get that?' 'that looks good' 'i've been wanting that' and i would gladly help them bcs i love when ppl match me (not just clothes ofc) rather than just saying absolutely nothing, then literally copied me...

also can i be 🔪 anon plss. i feel like its appropriate lmao

NAAAHH CUT HER OFFF 😭

it’s sooo infuriating! especially since she’s not exactly the nicest to you wtf no 😭 honestly, when that used to happen to me, i didn’t do anything about it because they were always people who weren’t in the same group as mine but since she’s actually in your group of friends, i’d start being a little sarcastic about it if i were you.

idk but my passive aggressive side would come out tbh 💀 and i’d just be leaving comments about it until she gets the memo about me noticing it or basically telling her that she’s not original and could use a personality.

like all that i’d get if she were nice to you, but copying you and having the audacity to be two faced? naaaah bye.

you’re not toxic, bub! it’s very natural and normal for you to feel annoyed by it because it really is, and again, you feel that way because she’s being rude and mean, too. so don’t beat yourself up for it

(yes, you can! xx)

•

what drew you to durandal originally and is it the reason shes still a favorite now?

OK OK OK FIRST OF ALL. thank you SO much for this ask i love talking about her and also sorry it took so long to respond, i had a lot going on. hope you don't mind ehe,, ANYWAYS! to be honest, the reason i started liking her very early in the game is. purely a coincidence! and by that i mean, i got valkyrie gloria ~ch2 and she's been on my team for an unreasonably long time since then, so even before i even knew who she was i. kinda grew attached to her [same for seele, btw. swallowtail phantasm carried me through half this game. moving on.] then came the first mention of her in chapter i don't remember which one [2? 3? 4? something around there] and tbh i just heard teri's description and was like "oh she sounds neat :] i'm probably gonna like her!" [foreshadowing?] just bc she sounded like a genuinely. nice person?

so, that's how i originally got drawn to her! now, onto why she's still my favorite :D

ok so. starting off. sth you often see in the fandom is ppl saying that dudu doesn't really have much of a personality, and while she definitely doesn't get her character really shown in a lot of the game, that's very untrue! it's just a lot of ppl tend to kinda... not bother to look into her character too much??? and, while im not gonna go full character analysis, its just. its about the genuine sweetness. the fact that despite being schicksals strongest valkyrie, she doesnt even get the thought of placing herself above other valkyries, or hell, even kiana, the literal [from her perspective] herrscher of the void. its about the Himbo Energy. shes so so smart but so so silly!!!!! its about the little traces of the personality she was forced to repress for the sake of a bubble universe, seen for example when she was fighting su! think that was ooc? think again, thats exactly what she was like a few years ago!!!! dudu is excitable, she likes having fun and playing football with kids and she adopted a half honkai beast only bc it looked like a cat, because she had half her childhood stolen by having to protect an entire universe. and like, shes a really good person who worked with schicksal bc guess what? she was raised there! and human attachments exist! and despite resorting to questionable means of achieving what she needed to, shes capable of changing and fighting alongside new allies. you get me?

oh and also another thing very dear to me about her character is biankas approach to identity. as in, names dont play a big role until you give them one- flowers may smell and look and beautiful under any other name, but she has given her own name meaning and made it hers, just as kiana has done- and bianka being born under the name kiana doesnt change or refute either of their identities

anyway thank you!! this might be a bit incomprehensible cos i did it at 1am but i feel like i still got my point through. although, i really barely said anything and didnt address a lot of the ✨points of nuance✨ because if i started, we'd be here all day. so. there it is theres the mini dudu rant

final goodbye - Shouto Todoroki x reader

In the dorms of UA high school, class 1-A had settled into their rooms for the night. Deku was probably up practicing his quirk, while Katsuki and Iida were probably fast asleep, like most of the class. It had been a long day of vigorous quirk training, pushing the limits of how far they could go. But here you were, wide awake, sitting out on the balcony of your dorm. You had a cig in one hand, and in the other, you held your worn copy of Fahrenheit 451. You had problems with falling asleep, especially since the LOV attack at summer camp, so most nights you would just end up in this exact position. As you read, you caught a glimpse of your door opening, and the air was knocked out of you when you saw the heterochronic eyes of one of your classmates looking back at you. You raised an eyebrow as you took another drag, watching him close the door behind him, and shuffle over to the glass door in front of you, taking his time to take in the scenery of your room. There he stood, the same plaid sweatpants he'd worn the first night in the dorms when Mina insisted you guys all hang out in the common room to celebrate "moving in with one another". That had been 2 years ago, so you had wondered whether or not they were the same pants, but let that thought exhale from your mind along with the cig smoke. "I thought you quit that shit." the boy said, inviting himself to lay down on the mini couch across from where you were sitting. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes at him. "I did. for about a year and 5 months." you said, taking another drag and turning your attention back to your book. Shouto let out a heavy sigh, turning away from the sky to look at you. "You know, I didn't give that key to you. It's pretty rude for you to use it." you said, not looking up from your book. "What are you talking about y/n, you did give it to me. plus, you never asked for it back. It was a gift." You let another half-assed laugh escape your lips, looking over to him with a look of surprise. "No, I didn't give it to you. I gave it to the person that you used to be. You're a stranger to me." As you met his eyes, you could see the hurt your words had caused. if you weren't about to take another drag of your cig, you would have probably smiled, but your drag was cut short when a firm hand grabbed the smoking stick from your mouth and put it out with his right hand. "Hey! What the fuck, do you know how hard it is to find a pack of-" "menthols around here?" he cut you off to finish. You felt your cheeks warming up as he sat down on the floor against the railing, looking up at you. Words were swimming in your head. You were angry. You wanted to slap him. But you also wanted to jump into his arms. Hold him close and let his strong form wrap around you and indulge in the safety only he could provide you. But instead, your muscles were stiff, water forming in your eyes, your face betraying you by letting him see a hurt expression start to cross it. "I don't know what you want from me." you finally uttered out, looking down at your chipped toenails that were crossed in your chair. "I want you to lie to me and tell me that the person looking back at me wasn't created because of the hurt I caused." he said, drawing your eyes back to him. You laughed a little, rolling your eyes before licking your lips and looking up at him again. "Well, I'm not a good liar, so I think you're shit out of luck." you said, making him smile a little. "Yeah, a good liar has never been high on your resume. I remember when you came to my dorm reeking of whiskey, thinking you had convinced me you hadn't been drinking with Mina and Ochako." he said, letting a small smile cross his lips. You smiled too, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "Yeah, and you bitched them out for encouraging me to drink on a school night while all three of us were hungover." you said, watching a plane fly by in the distance. You both sat in silence for a bit, in fact, you had let your eyes fall shut, just enjoying the sounds of nighttime. "I never meant to act the way I did." he

said, causing you to look at him, a lazy look over your face, before rolling your eyes and looking back up at the sky. "It's all water under the bridge at this point. It happened. I let it, and you go." you lied. "It honestly surprises me you feel anything about me, let alone remorse for how you treated me." you said, beginning to feel fed up with this surprise visit you knew shouldn't have been allowed in the first place. "Y/n, I felt a lot of things, I just didn't know how to express them, I didn't know-" "How to communicate your feelings. Look, I know okay. I preached that shit to everyone who tried to talk shit about you when I was sobbing my eyes out to them, trying to figure out what the fuck I had done wrong." you said, your mind not able to stop your mouth before it was too late. Shouto looked at you, and he looked hurt, but he also looked, to you, pathetic. "And you know what, I treated you fucking amazing. I got clean for you. I stopped smoking weed and cigs and stopped drinking, I worked on my quirk that you insisted I was 'throwing away', and worked my ass off to get good grades that I didn't give a shit about until you. I had gotten better. I was doing amazing. and then out of nowhere, you break up with me." you said, letting your words sink in before continuing, "And you know, at first, I was sad, but figured we could have somewhat of a good friendship. I fully intended to continue to get good grades and be the little perfect angel that I expected myself to be to feel like i was enough for you, but then you pretended I didnt exist. You acted like even looking in my direction would kill you. And don't even get me started with you saying you had been thinking about leaving me for two weeks before you actually did it." you said, tears spilling from your eyes, but you kept your voice and face stern. "So don't. just please don't. Just let me live, Shouto. You had no right to come here tonight. You should have thrown that damn key in the trash just like you did with me." you spat, not even bothering to look at him. You knew you'd regret everything you said if you saw him hurt by it, and you didn't want to apologize. All you had wanted since he broke up with you was for him to feel even a fraction of the pain you had felt. But your eyes wandered to him anyway. He was looking at you, dumbstruck. "What?" you spat, more hot tears streaming down your face. He said nothing as he stood, and pulled the key from his pocket, a chain attached to it, with a familiar locket clanking against the key as he held it out to you. Your eyes were blurry from the tears, and you were frozen as he set the chain in your hand. Before he left, he choked, saying, "You're right. You deserve to be allowed to move on. I'm sorry I came." He then kissed the top of your head, before walking back in, leaving you alone once more. You pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, the same locket from his key necklace around your neck. You poped the two of them open and out them side by side. Inside were pictures, in his, was your smiling face with his arms around you, and in yours, the same picture, only the other half, with him smiling with your arms around him. on the opposite side, carved into the gold medal in small letters, the words "私の愛" stared back at you.

*bonus*

only 10 minutes after Sho had left, you found yourself curled up in your bed, sobbing into your pillow, tugging the sleeves of the old sweatshirt he had given you months prior, closer, before eventually drifting off.

hello, hello, first things first, hope you're having a good day! can i please request fem reader and minho agreeing on cockwarming only but she got really horny and waited for him to fall asleep before doing it, but ofc he woke up and ended up overstimulating her instead as a punishment-

hii, tysm for requesting! i hope u had a good day as well💓

[6:54 pm]

lee minho x female reader smut

warnings: established relationship, partly clothed sex, dom!minho, cockwarming, oral (m recieving), fingering, slight somnophilia (not stated but consensual ofc), spit (im sorry skjsjekd), a little choking, minho calls reader a slut like 2 times, multiple orgasms, overstimulation

wc: 1.6 k

enjoy <3

-

"fuck-no no go back to the base" you roll your eyes at minhos yells into his headset.

His fingers fly over the controller as he digs his teeth into his lower lip in concentration.

You love that he's finally able to relax a little and play his game but you'd so much rather have those fingers inside of you.

"chan-hyung go back-go back" he orders as he shoots at something on the screen, you cant be bothered to fully understand what the goal of that game is.

You are way too annoyed at the fact that he had declared his 'last round' four times already without even looking back at you.

Sighing you get up to get a glass of water, when you come back he's still sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the screen.

You lean agaist the doorframe, cross your arms over your chest and sigh again, a little more dramatic; frowning when he doesn’t even acknowledge your presence.

So, you sigh even louder, one more time.

His eyes flicker up at you before he pulls his headset back from one ear, releasing the abused flesh of his lip from inbetween his teeth.

"whats up, baby" he asks, muting his microphone before looking back at the screen shortly.

"I miss you" you pout "and you said you were almost done like an hour ago"

He smiles softly and holds out his hand, speaking when you slide yours into his.

"i'm sorry, i promise im done after this round" he rubs his thumb over your hand.

You whine as your eyes fall on his lap, on those muscular thighs that even make the baggy grey sweatpants he's wearing look tight when he's sitting. Apparently you arent very cool about it because your boyfriend catches on to what you're thinking almost immediately.

Grinning, he pulls you closer by your hand before pressing a kiss to the back of it. "take off your panties" he nods at your skirt.

"already did, like two hours ago" you breathe out, feigning annoyance at which he chuckles.

"alright then, if you get me hard you can sit on my cock until i'm done" he grins up at you, chuckling once again when you drop to your knees. His hands return to his controller after he unmutes himself, meanwhile you start squeezing him through his sweatpants.

"yea, sorry guys im back" minho mumbles into the headset, you frown because you want his attention, but knowing your boyfriend, he wont give it up without a fight.

Pulling down his pants and boxers far enough to take out his half hard length, you waste no time getting your mouth on him.

"guys, left-left-left" he chants into his mic.

You feel his cock twitch when you take him deep and massage his balls, peering up at him through your lashes, you are disappointed to see he's still only watching the screen. Breathing in deeply through your nose, you go even deeper and swallow around his tip as he starts his sentence.

"guys, dont- oh fuck" his voice cracks and he finally looks down at you, muting himself before pulling you away.

"I said get me hard, not off, you little slut" he sneers as you lick your lower lip.

"sorry" you grin, which he reciprocates "get up" he orders.

When you do, he trails his fingers along your inner thigh, hissing when he feels how wet you are. You moan when he pumps one finger into you, holding onto his shoulder as he takes his other hand and guides you to hover his lap.

Retreating his finger, he rubs a few circles over your clit for good measure at which you whimper.

"okay, come here" he guides you to hover over his lap before spreading your juices over his cock and aligning it with your entrance, pushing inside slowly.

You moan out minhos name at the stretch, he breathes out shakily as well before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"doing good, baby" another kiss to your cheek "now be a good girl and stay still, alright?" You nod and tuck your face into the crook of his neck before looping your arms around him as well.

You can hear the clickling sound of his controller and the faint voices of chan, jeongin and whoever else he's playing with.

He makes an effort not to yell into your ear when he talks to them, so very soon you find your feeling of neediness getting overpowered by drowsiness. His bodywarmth and cologne affectively lulling you to sleep.

-

You dont know how long you were out but when you wake up minho is still underneath you, but now propped up against the headrest of the bed.

Blinking confusedly, you lift your head, which was still still positioned on his shoulder and look around.

The tv is off and it had gotten dark outside, your attention however quickly shifts to the throbbing of your core, where your boyfiend is still buried in to the hilt. Said boyfriend is peacefully asleep, lips pouted and cheeks slightly flushed.

You sit up, moaning when his cock brushes against your g-spot. You bite your lip, knowing full well what would happen if you were to act on your thoughts.

So thats exactly what you do; slowly you roll your hips into his and prop your hand on the headrest. You feel your walls tighten when you lift yourself up and push down again.

Whimpering, you reach down and rub circles into your clit. Your head rolls back when you feel your high bubble up in your abdomen, tearing a moan from your throat.

Suddenly , warm hands gripping your hips make you jump.

"didnt mean to interrupt you baby" minho grins up at you tiredly.

“baby-i” your movements still with his hands squeezing at your flesh.

“you what?” he taunts “thought you could get yourself off real sneakily?”

“no-i” you stutter, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrasment “i wouldve woken you up- just...” you absently tug at his shirt.

“just what?” minho sits up, grinning and supporting your back to keep you from tipping over.

“you always edge me and i just want to cum” you say sheepishly now that his face is only a few inches away from yours.

“aw, well i dont like how that makes me sound” he pouts sarcastically “lets make your wish come true then,yea?” he leans back again, tucking one hand under his head cockily.

“fuck yourself, cmon” he bites his lip, wating for you to oblige.

You grin and start rolling your hips again “wait!” minho yelps, making you flinch.

“sorry” he giggles, rubbing your thigh “take off your shirt”

You scoff and shake your head incredulously before pulling your shirt over your head and freeing your tits for your boyfriend to instantly love on.

Not long after rocking your pelvis into his, you feel your orgasm creeping up on you again. Minho being no stranger to your body and its signals, kitten licks his thumb and brings it underneath your skirt to your clit.

You moan as you lean forwards to get better levarage, your boyfriend latching his lips onto one of your nipples.

"fuck-" you cry out when he increases the preassure of his thumb on your bundle of nerves and raises his hips to meet yours with every roll. Your orgasm makes your toes curl as it rushes through your veins, your body trembling as you collapse into minhos hold.

You pant obscene things as he rocks you through it, flipping the both of you over shortly after. “what-oh-fuck” you squeal but he thrusts back into you, flipping up your skirt to reveal your how tigth your dripping walls are hugging him.

“fuck” minho groans at the sight, stabilizing your hips before slowly letting a glob of spit descend from his pout to where your bodies join. You whimper, your hips stuttering when he smears it over your folds before bottoming out and picking up his pace.

“how’s that hm?” he grits through his teeth, hand anchoring to your neck when you moan in response.

“s- good” you whine, crying out a second later when he brings his thumb to your clit again to rub at it vigorously.

“you wanted to cum, so cum again like the little slut you are” he sneers “cmon baby, do it”  And you do, pulling at the sheets as you cry out for him in bliss.

The overstimulation kicks in and you squirm, pressing against his hand to make him stop. But he just pulls out and shoves two of his fingers into you, curling them upwards and pumping furiously as his other hand squeezes at your neck.

“fuck! minho-i cant” the sensitivity is almost too much and you feel tears pricking at your eyes as you yell out for your boyfriend.

“this is what you wanted isnt it?” he tauts, grin evident in his voice.

“fuck!” your back arches of the mattress as a guttoral groan tears from your throat and you cum again, less than a minute after your previous high.

For a few seconds you only hear white noise and your heartbeat as he rides out your orgasm.

“good fucking girl” he chuckles mischievously as he watches your chest heave and your swollen pussy flutter when he takes out his fingers, smearing your cum on his cock before he starts pumping himself.

You open your eyes to see him jerk himself off over you, tiredly you raise your hand to fondle his balls, making him roll his head back and groan.

His throat shining with a sheen of sweat as his adams apple bops with each breath. Locking eyes again, he spills his seed on your tummy with a moan and a shudder.

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

bokuto body shaming you

kotaro bokuto x reader

angst, fluff! happy ending, drabble

before you continue to read, please be aware of the following:

tw: eating disorder, eating, food, fatphobia, insecurity, bullying, and uh using the bathroom. LOL. i wrote this at 2 am because i couldn’t sleep. bear with me.

japan’s (and most of asia’s) beauty standards consists of a girl being size 00. obviously it is highly unfair and fatphobic. however, asian girls grow up to these same standards. therefore, when y/n is hurt over the fact that they called her fat, she gets offended. this is fiction and please remember your body is beautiful no matter what size!

now that you have read the precautions, enjoy!

today was super stressful, you missed breakfast because of work, clients took up your lunch time by feuding with their now divorced husbands, and you obviously couldn’t eat in the courtroom. you controlled the rumbles of you stomach and couldn’t wait to unlock your burgundy door. as you got home from work, bokuto was already on the couch.

“hey babe” he nonchalantly said.

“hi bubby”

as you walked over to the fridge, it was empty. you cried in agony.

“oooooh sorry i ate all of the leftovers”

your current state, was hangry. it was a clash of words to represent your current emotion. you snuck two middle fingers behind his head.

“i saw that,” he said while still looking at his game footage.

not having food in your system for longer than a day really upset you. so much so, you busted in tears out of frustration.

“literally all the places are closed at this hour, when i get home all i wanted was to ingest something, but you ate it all!” you sobbed.

“y/n, you’re blowing this out of proportion,”

“but i’m not! work has been so hard on me that i didn’t even have the opportunity to eat.”

“surely you had some sort of break, are you sure you’re not starving yourself again?” he laughed to himself.

your face was in shock.

in high school, you had an eating disorder. you hated the way you looked compared to the thin girls in your class. do you know how hard it is to be a size 4 in japan? thus, led to many insecurities being built up. while not eating, you also exercised quite frequently. and with no nutrients in you, your stomach salvaged itself. soon enough, you were on your road to being a size 2. however, one day you pushed yourself really hard. the girls in class A were talking about your rolls when you sit down. just the thought of that morning made you run faster. until you started to get light headed and pass out.

as you woke up, you were on a bench with a really attractive man at the end of it. you realized that your legs were on top of his lap. quickly, you sat upright, only to feel dizzy again.

“here take this,” the handsome man offered water.

you downed the whole thing, with water dripping out of your mouth. you then took your sleeve and wiped your mouth. for a good five seconds you were calm... until you realized how unladylike you were being. you looked over at the man and he was laughing. like, full on laughing.

“what’s so funny?”

“n-nothing it’s j-just the girls around here do the opposite of what you just did,” he barely spoke, not being able to contain his laughter.

“fine then i guess it’s time to tell you that i’m a dude”

the mans face went straight.

“god, i’m obviously kidding... what’s your name?”

“bokuto, yours?”

“y/n”

you both shook hands.

“now tell me y/n, as an athlete i know the main reasons of someone passing out like that.”

“are you anemic?” he asked.

you shook your head. then his face softened. oh, maybe he is smart.

out of nowhere, you started to tear up.

“are you okay?”

why do people ask that? when they ask that i cry even more.

he was a stranger, so you might aswell vent to him.

“it’s just been so hard keeping up with this body. you know how many times i just wanted to eat? like a fuck ton of food? but i literally couldn’t. i was hungry, yet when i looked at a fry it reminded me of my bullies. it fucking sucks.” you finally sobbed out. you were holding it in for so long, if felt kind of free to let it out. you looked over at bokuto, and he just listened intently. like he actually cared about your well-being.

“if i may, could i help you with that?” he got up the bench and lent out a hand.

and the rest was history. so when you heard those words out of bokuto’s mouth you instantly cried even more.

“obviously i’m not fucking starving myself.” you sharply stated.

“yeah no trust me y/n it’s pretty obvious that you’re not.”

the room was silent. did he just imply that i was fat?

“wait y/n-”

“have fun sleeping on the fucking couch” you slammed your shared bedroom door.

while it was closed, you immediately took off all your clothing. as you were just in your underwear, you grabbed your stomach. the fact that you could grab a handful of it, made you insecure again. like you were in high school. after a minute, you physically couldn’t look at yourself anymore. once your head hit the pillow you drifted off to sleep. having sleep for dinner feels oddly familiar.

when you slammed your door, bokuto had guilt written all over his face. he didn’t even understand why he said that. was he uncomfortable of how good his life was? and if that was the case, why did he have to jeopardize it this way? he finally realized that the life he had yesterday ago was pure happiness. he respected your wishes into sleeping on the couch that night. but, the next day he was going to make it all up to you.

as the sun just started to shine, he woke purposefully woke up early. hitting the farmers market to buy new ingredients for breakfast. his thoughts consisted of “y/n will like this” and “y/n loves these.” then, when he got home, he started cooking. whilst flipping the pancakes, he made sure to add extra love to it. he stacked the cakes with fresh berries on top, and a dazzle of “syrup goodness,” he likes to say.

as he knocks on the door and turns the knob, you weren’t there. his heart immediately dropped. he put down your breakfast on the dresser and his knees fell. crying for you. praying that you would come back.

his loud sniffles bothered you while you were shitting.

you yelled from the connected bathroom of your master, “BABE WHY ARE YOU CRYING”

silence.

you hear loud pattering running up to the bathroom and the door slammed open.

he quickly ran over to you and wrapped his arms around your head, “Y/N, MY DEAR Y/N, YOU’RE STILL HERE! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED I AM SO SORRY THAT I SAID THAT I DIDNT MEAN IT, EVEN IF YOU WERE TO GET BIG THERE’D BE MORE TO LOVE AND YOU’D BE SQUIS-”

“okay that’s enough i get it.” you frowned.

“bo, this would be more romantic... if i currently wasn’t taking a shit, could you let go of me?”

“no.” he said, with the same face used when you guys met and told him you were a dude.

after you finished your business, you hopped in the shower, and so did he. never in your life have you seen someone so excited to shampoo your hair. while the conditioner soaked, you turned around facing him.

“so, i’m really okay the way i am?” you faintly whispered.

he shut you up with a passionate kiss. clearly annoyed that you would say that. first it was on your lips, slowly down your nape, then to your stomach.

you blushed at the fact that he skipped your boobs. or so you thought. out of nowhere he grips your right one with force and says “hey if i feed you enough, could i possibly make these bigger?” he smirked.

you rolled your eyes and got out. you could hear bokuto solemnly whining in the background. you truly loved this man. with all your heart.