As I’m settling into this whole academia business, I thought I’d share one of my first ever tumblr posts. Which turned out to be the basis for my first ever college essay. I’ll share the essay here after it gets graded later this week. Cheers.

On asking questions and public spaces

This is what happens when you have to take a dose of Excedrin for a migraine only a couple of hours before bedtime, because CAFFEINE. Sorry, not sorry! (Please note that for those of us who are gifted with brains of the divergent sort, caffeine only works as it ought when you need it not to lol.) So. Libraries. Libraries are magical. Always have done, even before they became a safe haven for the dispossessed members of our society (which is a brilliant bit of miracle working in its’ own right) but why? And the simplest answer is the obvious one. Books of course. Digging deeper for context here is important though. Before the internet was a thing (yes I’m plenty old enough for that) libraries were where knowledge lived. And not just the academic kind, knowledge of the world outside of what is permissible. I frame a lot of things around religious trauma. And it might seem like old hat, but it was a fundamental (pun intended) part of what shaped me into who I am now. I am 40, I am tired, I am STILL learning who I could be without the behavior patterns imposed by that upbringing. My very small town finally got a library when I was around 10. It was about a mile and a half away. Close enough to bike to, which meant I could go unsupervised. And I did. Volunteered in fact, one of the first summers they were open. Which is important. Because, yes I could check out books, but there was never any guarantees that what I checked out wouldn’t be inspected at home. Volunteering meant I could stash something in the office to read while I was there. And this is where knowledge comes in. I had read every copy of the National Geographic we had at home, the entire second hand set of outdated encyclopedia Brittanica, every bit of Christian fiction I was gifted. I read it all. But it was, for the most part, a carefully curated version of the world. Safely inside the boundaries of my fundamentalist bubble. Allowed. And then for one brief and glorious summer, I had the world at my fingertips. Any book, about anything I wished. No novel was out of bounds, no titillating synopsis had to be ignored. I could read it ALL. And I did. I read about evolution, I read about the Big Bang, the conception and gestation cycle in humanity, I read about the history of medicine and colonization, I dove headlong into fantasy and science fiction and read about queer attraction and love for the first time as something beautiful instead of seeing it painted as something unholy and wrong. I read about morality. And not the starkly envisioned morality of religion, but questions, hard choices, true acts of courage and sacrifice, shades of grey and unimaginable nuance in the world around us. I learned that I was not alone in my discomfiture when I pitted the world I was raised in against the world as it actually was. Knowledge. Direct from the tap, and I drank from it as a person dying of thirst. That summer took the tiny seed of questioning in my mind and planted it firmly in the fertile grounds of my imagination. Each new book was sunlight and rain to a rapidly growing NEED to better understand. I took many years after that one before the tree planted there grew tall enough for me to climb to the top and really see the world around me. I didn’t fully escape religion and begin the work of healing until my late 20’s. But it never would have been possible without that one summer. Without that library. Access to knowledge and storytelling is one of the most precious keystones in humanity’s development. It’s how we make sense of the world. It’s how we gain empathy and understanding outside of our own experience. It’s how we reconcile the questions we have against the world we live in. And like all things, it isn’t perfect. There exists as much capacity for deceit and evil within the pages of a book as there does in humanity itself, but without them we would be lost entirely.

Hi! Librarian of 20+ years here. I saw the ask about Libby and library cards, and I just wanted to share some info.

Libraries take patron privacy VERY seriously. All of the libraries I've worked at would not give out someone's personal information over the phone or online. We won't even update that info over the phone - you have to come in person.

In addition, library software, what we use to check out books to you, does not save what books you check out. I know patrons have asked us for lists of what they've checked out and they're disappointed that we can't do that. But we don't do that, because library records are subpoenable. (Thanks, Patriot Act! /s) So for your protection, we don't have that info so we can't be forced to turn it over to law enforcement.

Of course, libraries are staffed by human beings who make mistakes sometimes. And there are bad actors out there who might involve the library as part of identity theft. But I believe that anyone who would try to make the library an accomplice would give up and find an easier way. 😆

Thank you libraries and librarians for your good work !

Gosh there's a video in the queue that'll be posted soon, that while funny is turning out to be surprisingly relevant to the topic of library related identity theft

I just finished rereading Foul Lady Fortune as part of my full Secret Shanghai reread before Foul Heart Huntsman. I already liked Phoebe during my first read of the book, but reading it again after the reveal in the epilogue makes her character 10 times more fun to read about (FLF spoilers below).

1. Just Phoebe in general having a very bubbly personality but also being a highly skilled sharpshooter (we love a girl who can do both).

2. Orion spending a whole paragraph talking about how Phoebe wouldn’t be a good agent, only for her to be hiding that she’s communist assassin the entire time. Also, knowing that their mother was actually teaching Phoebe to shoot during their outings (from ‘the Priest and the Shepherd’ short story).

3. Her literally saying this.

4. Another thing I didn’t catch on until my second read is when Phoebe says this to try and suss out Alisa, knowing now that she’s actually talking about herself.

I’ve only read the first 8 chapters of Foul Heart Huntsman from Simon Teen’s website, but the Phoebe-Silas dynamic is so interesting from what I’ve read so far. I can’t wait to see how it plays out in the rest of the book (and also everyone else’s reactions when they find out she’s Priest lol).

the GREAT PATREON SMUSH

I was going to make an advertisement for this with bright colors and maybe animated sparkles but 1) I hate making ads and 2) we are all so exhausted by bright ads vying for our brain chemicals that I just don’t want to do that to you anymore!!!! I’m TIRED of things grabbing for my attention in an unending assault on my senses and I’m sure you are too!!!!!!!

if you’ve been doom-scrolling and need a break (a nice beverage, a stretch of the legs, etc.), take this as a sign to do so now. if you’ve got the energy for a little reading, though, and want to learn about my work - keep going!

ANYWAYS I’ll get to the point: ALL of my patreon benefits are now available to the lowest ($3) tier.

in fact, there ARE no other tiers anymore. they’re gone! scrunched! smunshed! stirred up all together into one big super tier soup of everything I offer now and will offer in the future!

everyone now gets:

over 100 4k desktop wallpapers

early access/wips

25% discounts on prints

livestream voice chat

art votes & art suggestions

commission slots

and access to the Art Grotto discord, a friendly and chill server with a small community of creative folks. we share art, writing, pets, memes, and also come up with fun art ideas together! 🌈

why am I smushing the tiers and giving up the higher pledge amounts?!

because capitalism sucks, we’re in a recession, and I’m lucky enough to have a full-time job that allows me to make art without being reliant on Patreon income. anyone who has sat in on one of my livestreams knows that I try to be a calming force in an often-chaotic world, and that I’m always looking for ways to make art more accessible to everyone. I want my Patreon to be a place where I can give back to those who are supporting me in this mission!

this tier smush is just the start of how I hope to transform this space! I have a bunch of fun ideas about stuff I want to do in the future, so keep an eye out for more announcements like this 👁

that’s all!!!! thank you if you’ve read this far, and here’s the link to the Patreon if any of this interested you!

The amount of innocent intimacy these words hold...

"You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read."

- Charles Dickens

and...

“Each time you happen to me all over again.”

― Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence

assorted doodles from sketchbook😋

all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine

being in tampere really makes me sad that they didn’t get to host eurovision this year, because just the UMK vibe here is already absolutely incredible

I'll never forget the time I went to my large towns library for the first time and said to my best friend "damn why's it so quiet in here" and he just goes "... It's a library????" Like how do I explain to people that the small library I go to the next town over because it's actually closer to my house is never quiet. There's always things going on there. Different clubs and study groups and librarians chatting with people at the front desk. I legit thought quiet libraries was just a movie trope.

I just want one of the D&D campaigns I was part of, to play just once; please let me see a campain, past brainstorming and character creation.

Regarless of my woes, this is Calypso, a drow wizard because no one stopped me. She would have joined the adventuring party after they borrowed one of her books, to “ensure its safety” (she wants to watch them fight monsters, but she’s not going to tell them that).

I have been watching alots of Beat-Club lately so have this meme I made

speaking of masks. yall who have masked trolls... how did u come up with the mask designs?

every time i try to make one, it just feels off to me.

also i wrote a novel in the tags about it, but if anyones got some good research sources too, im all ears 👂

if yall see me fail to complete the new septembers readathon by the end of this month no you didn’t. turn away.

ever since I've decided to post stuff for myself, and stop caring if other people call me cringe or lame, i've been having so much fun!