#let the adhd brain do what it wants i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astrobiscuits · 11 months

Text

Chiron: where is our physical (and mental) wound?

I'm currently reading a book about Chiron (did you know it's actually half asteroid, half comet? me neither), which inspired me to make this post. I'm in no way an expert in medical astrology, just a curious owl that wants to learn more about every branch of astrology out there (my Sag Venus loves it!!🤭)

DISCLAIMER!!! I'm not a doctor. If you've been feeling any symptoms described here, TALK WITH YOUR DOCTOR, NOT WITH ME

Observation: Before we dive in, i'd like to mention that the position of Chiron in the houses is important. Not every house placement suggests having a poor physical condition. The most prominent Chiron placements when it comes to having a medical condition are: Chiron in 1st house (house of self, visible illnesses), Chiron in 5th house (illnesses since birth/early childhood), Chiron in 6th house (house of health, if Saturn is also sitting there it points to chronic illnesses), Chiron in 8th house (house of death, may point to severe diseases or poor reproductive health) and Chiron in 12th house (house of the unconscious, deals with mental illnesses)

Honorable mention to Chiron in 3rd house and Chiron in 9th house as they represent accidents while travelling. If Chiron is heavily afflicted in these houses (unless it's also conjuncting Jupiter), it may point to...let's just say you're gonna be in a hospital bed in a vegetative state, but remember, nothing has a 100% possibility of happening, you're just more susceptible to it happening. I suggest checking the position of Chiron in Solar Return charts for the possible timing of it happening (look for Chiron in 3rd house/Chiron in 9th house as it activates your natal Chiron)

Without further do, let's dive in⚕️

Chiron in Aries: frequent headaches, frequent nose bleeds, teeth problems (sensitive teeth, tooth decay), deafness, skull fractures, cerebral anemia, brain tumours, hemophilia, epilepsy, BPD

Chiron in Taurus: frequent colds, frequent voice loss, thyroid problems (goiter, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidis, etc.), tonsilitis, OCD

Chiron in Gemini: lung problems (asthma, tuberculosis, pneumonia, etc.), speech problems (stuttering, cluttering, mutism), alzheimer's disease, ADHD, OCD

Chiron in Cancer: frequent stomach pain, prone to lactose intolerance, (for girls) breast lumps, breast cysts, breast infections, nipple discharge, depression, anxiety

Chiron in Leo: prone to insolation, frequent heart palpitations, chest pain, hypertension, hypotension, arteriosclerosis, scoliosis, kyphosis

Chiron in Virgo: frequent bloating, prone to gluten intolerance, chronic allergies, diabetes, rabies, autism, ADHD, OCD

Chiron in Libra: prone to acne, frequent lower back pain, disc herniation, spondylolisthesis, chronic kidney disease, kidney stones

Chiron in Scorpio: frequent pain down there, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV/AIDS, depression

Chiron in Sagittarius: frequent pain in the hips, prone to hips dislocation, cirrhosis, sciatica

Chiron in Capricorn: prone to knees dislocation, osteoarthritis, bone problems (osteopenia, osteoporosis), gout, depression

Chiron in Aquarius: electrical injuries, shin splints, osteofibrous dysplasia, ankle sprain, ankle fractures, poor blood circulation, schizophrenia

Chiron in Pisces: prone to break toes, athlete's foot, bunions, addison's disease, hormonal deregulation, aphantasia, psychosis, schizophrenia, anxiety

Yes, i'm aware of the fact that it's a generational planet and it moves very slowly through signs

BONUS: It's important to take into consideration all planets that conjunct, square or opposite Chiron (regardless if they're personal or generational) + the Ascendant for additional info about our illnesses

Ex. Let's take me as an example. My Chiron is in my 10th house in Capricorn squaring Saturn in 4th house (so double Capricorn energy) and Aries Ascendant. Guess what? I've got TMJ (basically a jaw disorder affecting the joints) and i've got it from my fam -_- (Saturn rules tradition i love my fam)

I also believe that having a heavy afflicted Chiron in general makes someone prone to having a medical condition, even if it's not in the houses mentioned previously (like in my case). However, these people are more focused on the main meaning of the house, not their health problems. They tend to ignore their health problems or they just don't care

I hope you enjoyed my post and found it insightful :)

What's your wound? Lmk in the comments your placements and your illnesses

Kisses xoxo

365 notes · View notes

ladykailitha · 1 year

Text

Can Anybody See Me? Part 7

And here we get to my little headcanon about Gareth. I saw a gif of Nancy talking to a kid with a camera at the game in season 4 and thought it was Gareth. But Gareth is shorter with darker curls. So meet Gethin, Gareth’s taller fraternal twin.

On the tagging, I HAVE REACHED MY HARD AND FAST LIMIT OF 50. I love the response this story has gotten. I do. I love you all. I love every reply, like, and reblog. It brings me so much joy, you don’t even know. But tagging is hard for my ADHD brain. I have gone up from 20 to 30 and finally 50 as my system improved but I think if I do any more than that I’ll go insane. So any future tagging requests will be ignored. Sorry.

The best way to keep update on these stories is follow me and set me on notifications. I rarely do a lot of reblogging these days (too busy churning out stories like whoa), so more often then not a post will be a story. I try to post at least once a day (some times twice if I’m trying to rush through the posting a bit like I did to make sure the Valentine fic got out in time without making people wait on Vamp!Eddie), just never at set time.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Steve was the last one to arrive.

Again.

But at least this time he wasn’t late. Just last. Fucking story of his life. Thankfully all four of them were waiting in the open garage. He could see Gareth’s drum kit in the corner, but none of the other guys brought their instruments.

“You found the place okay?” Jeff asked.

“Took a wrong turn somewhere, I guess,” Steve groused. “But I finally got back on track.”

“Come on in,” Gareth said. “My mom made homemade hot chocolate and sugar cookies.”

Steve lit up. “Sounds great.” He poured himself some hot chocolate and a couple of cookies, shoving one into his mouth immediately.

“So how we do this,” Jeff explained. “Everyone hands out their presents and then one person at a time opens all of theirs at once.”

“And since this is your first time,” Gareth said, “you’ll get to go first.”

Steve blushed. “Thanks guys.” He frowned suddenly realizing something. “Wait...how did you guys know what to get me?”

All four boys just grinned at him. “Well, that’s not creepy at all.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Eddie said, patting him on the shoulder.

Steve opened his gifts and since the point was to be outrageous, he laughed when he pulled out a pair of Speedo’s. “Do I even want to know which of you guys got this for me?”

Brian shook his head. “It’s better if you don’t know, man. Forbidden knowledge that.”

Steve nodded. The last thing was one of those auto-signature pictures of the 1984 Olympic gold medal swimming relay team. He looked up at Eddie, somehow knowing it was from him.

“Thanks, man. I love it.” At Gareth’s questioning look he explained. “I’m on the relay team at school. It was so fun watching this. They even had the Olympic trails right here in Indy.”

“Wow,” Jeff said. “That is cool.”

Eddie just cleared his throat and shove hair in front of his face to hide his embarrassment.

They went around the room, Gareth, Brian, Jeff and then finally Eddie.

Eddie got temporary tattoos.

“These ones are legal,” Brian teased.

A pack of guitar picks and a new DM screen. And then he got to Steve’s.

Steve squirmed in his seat, because he knew he had blown the limit. But when he saw it he knew he had to get it for the metalhead.

He opened it up to see a black leather wallet with a skull and a red lightning bolt behind it. It had a small metal ring for a chain to be clipped onto.

Eddie looked up at him with shiny eyes. “Steve...”

“I told you I was going to get you something nice for you and your uncle letting me come over and spend Christmas with you.”

“Steve wins,” Gareth said.

“Agreed,” Jeff and Brian said together.

Steve blushed. “I’m just glad everyone enjoyed their gifts.”

“You ready for some D&D?” Eddie asked trying to change the subject. Not just because he was uncomfortable, but because he had a feeling that Steve was too.

Steve nodded. “I got some pointers from Dustin and Lucas when I dropped them off. They also let me borrow some dice.”

“That’s some friends you got there, Steve-o,” Jeff said.

They led the way inside and Steve was sat between Eddie who was DMing and Gareth.

They had just gotten settled when another boy came out of the kitchen munching away on leftover ham. Steve had to blink. He looked over at Gareth and then back to the boy.

The Corroded Coffin boys grinned.

“Meet my fraternal twin, Gethin,” Gareth said, batting his eyelashes innocently.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, dude. I didn’t know you were a twin.”

Gethin rolled his eyes. “I’m the cooler old brother of the pair.”

“By two minutes,” Gareth said rolling his eyes.

Gethin’s eyes glittered with malice. “Still counts, nerd.”

“Go back to your camera, dweeb!”

Steve just shook his head.

“All right, let’s roll up these characters,” Eddie said rubbing his hands together and cackling gleefully.

It took a bit for Steve to get the hang of it, but he needed less and less help from Eddie or Gareth as the game went on.

They all died spectacularly.

“That was fun,” Steve said as they cleaned up.

“It’s not that bad with a campaign normally,” Brian said. “Unless specified to be a kill your darlings kind of game.”

“The point is to get your character to level twenty and beat the final boss, right?” Steve asked.

“That’s right,” Jeff said. “Sometimes we play with the club and sometimes it’s just us four having a blast. Our characters have been a party for about three years now.”

Steve let out a low whistle. “That is a long time.”

“We’ve got a paladin, that’s Jeff,” Eddie explained. “A wizard, that’s Gareth’s character. And Brian’s rogue.”

“And your druid, right?” Steve said snapping his fingers, remembering what Eddie said at the mall.

“That’s right, sweetheart.”

Steve grinned. “That’s so cool.”

“Hey, Steve,” Jeff asked. “Is okay if me and Brian get a ride home with you. Eddie lives on the other end of town and Gareth drove so...”

Steve shrugged. “Sure. Ready when you are.”

Jeff and Brian gave Eddie and Gareth hugs and then followed Steve out.

Once Steve had left Eddie turned to Gareth.

“So how did he do?”

Eddie wasn’t going to force his friends to like Steve. They didn’t have to. But he would like them to.

“He seems pretty chill,” Gareth said. “Gotta wonder if a couple of concussions changed his personality.”

Eddie nodded. This definitely wasn’t the Steve Harrington of last year. Or hell even of their experience with the guy as a whole.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I think maybe there were flashes before this.” He threw his arms in the air. “Because yeah, head injuries can cause personality changes, but I think at the fundamentals he’s still the same person he’s always been. Just now he can be himself instead of whatever Tommy H and Carol wanted him to be.”

“A funky little dork who is just trying his best?”

“Exactly,” Eddie said. “I just wonder what made him decide to give up all the popularity.”

Gareth nodded.

They hung out a few times with Steve and sometimes it was just Steve and Eddie.

Eddie could tell that there was something that was bothering him. Something that went deeper than feral dogs and beat downs by California transfer students.

But every time Eddie would get close, Steve would shut down. Once he got so upset he got up and left. Eddie was on the phone every day for three days trying to apologize. It took actually going to his house and threatening to beat the door down before he got through to Steve.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Eddie growled. “What if you had another concussion and no one was around to help you, dude. You could have died.”

Steve sighed. “Sorry. I can’t talk about it. Like literally, legally on pain of incarceration can’t talk about it.”

Eddie blinked. How the hell did a seventeen year old boy get mixed up in something that could get him arrested for talking about it?

“So write me a story or paint me a picture,” Eddie said. “Something, because it’s eating you alive. Is there someone you could talk to? An adult or something because fucking hell, Harrington you look like someone walked over your grave.”

Steve dug the meat of his palms into his eyes. “I know. There are a couple people I could talk to but they have so much to worry about.”

Eddie thought for a minute. “This is about Will and El isn’t it?”

Steve’s head whirled to face him, fear etched into every line of his face. “I don’t know what you mean...”

Bingo.

“A girl turns up out of no where and boy that was dead, suddenly isn’t?” Eddie said cocking his head. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure out the two are connected.”

Steve looked down at the floor. “Whatever you can imagine, just know it’s much, much worse.”

Eddie nodded. “So I’m guessing the adults are Mrs Byers and Chief Hopper?”

Steve nodded. “And the other people that know about it are all younger than me. So...”

“So tell me a story...” Eddie said. “Change the names, the details, but tell me a story. Or paint me a series of pictures. I’ve seen drawing pads all over your place, man. Just something, anything. Okay?”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try. Because you’re right. I need to release it somehow. Keeping it bottle up inside isn’t good.”

Eddie smiled. “There you go. Now go get dressed, we’re going to grab a bite to eat.”

Steve smiled softly. “Okay.”

After the first week of January Steve came up to him, eyes darting around him like he was nervous. So Eddie pulled him into the janitor’s closet.

“Hey, I need you take a deep breath for me,” Eddie said as Steve started to hyperventilate.

Steve struggled to obey.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie said, soothingly, rubbing his arms up and down. “Take a deep breath.” Steve managed that at least. “Good, now let it out slow.” The breath shuddered, but still it came out slow. “Now can you repeat that for me.”

“I’m in so much trouble, man,” Steve sobbed, sliding to the floor, his knees to his chest. “We have to do a comic in art class and so I thought I would do what you suggested. Make a comic out of the hell I went through. Only Miss Chen thinks that it’s too dark and wants to call my parents.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “Shit!” He began pacing back and forth. “Do you think your parents will come?”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m terrified that if they see it...”

“They’ll lock you up and throw away the key?” Eddie suggested.

He nodded.

Eddie took a deep breath. “Okay. Do you still want it or do you want it destroyed?”

Steve opened his mouth to answer, but frowned. He closed his mouth and really thought about it. “I’d like you to see it,” he said quietly.

“All right,” Eddie said. “I won’t go into details, because you need plausible deniability. But the first page of your comic isn’t going to be there tomorrow. And hopefully with it gone, Miss Chen won’t call your parents. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie opened the door to leave when Steve called out.

“Hey, Eds?”

“Yeah, Stevie?” Eddie asked, turning back to him.

“Thanks.”

Eddie smiled softly and then made his way out of the closet, giving Steve time to collect himself before he faced the hell of high school once again.

Eddie couldn’t be involved in the art theft either. It would be expected. So he enlisted Gethin’s help.

“And you’ll give Janice my number?” Gethin asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

Eddie threw his arms in the air. “For the last time, yes! Besides, she probably already has it as you know, your TWIN is in the same club as she is?”

“What do you get out of this?” Gethin asked.

“I’m the one that suggested it in the first place,” Eddie admitted, putting his hands on his lower back. “So it’s my job to get him out of the trouble I put him in.”

Gethin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Steve’s going through some pretty heavy shit, huh?”

Eddie licked his lips. “Yeah, man. I thought he could get it out safely through his art, but even though Jeff and I have turned in far worse stuff...”

“Because it’s coming from Steve, obviously he’s acting out,” Gethin supplied.

“Pretty much the whole thing in a nutshell,” Eddie said.

Gethin nodded.

“So you’ll do it?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” he said.

Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Tag list: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #canon divergence #the boy with the bat #ladykailtiha writes

445 notes · View notes

plum-pitt · 2 months

Text

Holy shit. I just realized i’ve never even yapped about my headcanons for the rise guys. This is a criminal offense on my part! Must be rectified immediately!!

Disclaimer: Don’t think there’s a lot of hot takes here, but feel free to disagree and talk about your own interpretations if you’d like!! Headcanon is fun and i love discussing it. it’s all fictional and since the text doesn’t give us much concrete shit on these topics we’re all free to make our own, equally valid readings of it. :3

Leo- Transmasc He/Him, gay as fuck who here could’ve guessed, ADHD haver, definitely smokes weed. Fluent in spanish from watching telenovellas as a child. Wants to be a flirty whore/aff so fucking bad but whenever he sees someone he’s legitimately attracted to any charisma he might’ve had gets thrown out the window and into a woodchipper in favor of helpless stuttering. His portalling mishaps early in the series have led him to silly sidequests all over the world that he just,,,, doesn’t really talk about. This won’t come up until they’ll end up in some random ass place and find out just how well travelled and connected he actually is. He’s also got a job at Hueso’s for fun and extra cash to fund his addiction to pot and ordering stupid shit he doesn’t need online. He’s a server, wears rollerskates to “move faster” on the job, just ends up running into shit more often than not. Great with the kids tho, performs little sleight of hand magic tricks and tells jokes to make them happy, never had a fussy kid he couldn’t calm down in a snap. Calls himself Hueso’s nephew and nepotism hire, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a decently competent and well liked employee outside of the several skating related accidents. Shell was cracked badly in the invasion, when they sealed it up, he asked Mikey to paint the healed cracks gold, mimicking the japanese practice of Kintsugi.

Mikey- Definitely queer but not into labels ;3 He/Him is what he defaults to, but any pronouns work for them. Semi fluent in italian, don’t ask me why, just feels right, let chef boy speak italian dammit. One of those mfs on instagram who insists on posting pictures of the food he makes, except his actually looks good and not painfully mediocre so they get a pass. Has been tagging walls in hard to reach spots all over the city for years at this point, after Raph confronted her abt it, fearing that he’d get caught someday, he told him that he’d stop. Yeah, that was a lie he kept doing it, just sneakier now. Makes money off of art commissions, still broke as hell tho cuz he spends it all on bougie ass ingredients and art supplies. Post canon definitely delved more into mystics and spirituality, trains with draxum but also took up meditation in his free time. Fucks with weed and the occasional psychedelic when working on art, says it helps get the creative juices flowing. Considering asking donnie to forge some documents for him so he can attend college online and earn a psych degree. His speech patterns flip on a dime between vague, wise fortune cookie therapist man and typical gen-z slang so abruptly it gives anyone not already familiar with him total whiplash.

Donnie- NonBinary They/He Bisexual but i can’t decide if they’re the kind that can’t stop pulling or can’t pull to save his life. Fluent in several languages, ASL, French, Russian, Japanese. Actually one of their few acedemic endeavors that he doesn’t typically show off and gloat about, makes it all the scarier when his siblings hear him muttering vaguely threatening sounding shit in russian when shit doesn’t go their way. Has tried most substances for “research purposes”, ultimately decided he doesn’t like the feeling of their big ol brain being hindered under the influence, this has a few exceptions tho, mainly when it’s with Leo. Has John Bishops IP address and threatens to drop it on 4chan to “see what happens” every time he tries messing with their family or stopping him from “borrowing” material resources from the US government. Almost considered bs-ing his way into college before they used a cloaking broach to shadow april at school for like 2 days. It was there they learned that the education system fucking sucks and he probably knows more than most professors about his topics of interest anyway. Does freelance work for cash, as far as their brothers know they’re not building and selling anything dangerous (which is code for probably arming both sides in a far away military conflict with deathrays). Spends his free time cyber bullying children on roblox and twitter, and caring for their greenhouse of plants that all have names. (yes he grows weed. his GeniusGrown™️ zaza is known far and wide for its consistently excellent quality. and no, Leo does not get a family discount. Mikey does tho.)

Raph- Someone please send the big man some help😭 he/him(?) Definitely queer in some way shape or form but refuses to confront any identity crisis because he’s just so busy keeping his dumb ass siblings outta shit. Tried weed once and will never touch a substance again, makes his anxiety spike real bad when he doesn’t feel in full control of himself. Runs around with Cassandra and sometimes Jr to do vigilante justice on the side of he and his siblings’ usual patrols. Living garbage disposal and i mean that quite literally. He has and will eat anything, rocks, toys, silverware, sometimes on accident, sometimes on a dare, and sometimes just because he wants to. He grew up gnawing on the legs of furniture, rusty sewer pipes, really any nonliving thing that he could fit his choppers around (unlike donnie who just bit any living creature within a 5 mile radius of his location). Since the invasion made Leo step up as leader Raph has been able to step back a little bit and not have everything in a chokehold, he has a mini crisis about his place in the family and his sense of identity without being a leader. Tries to hide how much it’s affecting him but ofc, living with mikey, this does not last and his ass FINALLY gets chucked (very lovingly) into therapy. Loves to knit, definitely in some kind of old lady facebook group centered around it (he has so much nursing home gossip floating around in his brain hehe)

Alright that’s all for the teetlez. lmk if yall wanna hear about my thoughts on the rest of the main cast, or some of the side cast! Can’t promise i’ll have this much to say on all of em but i’ve definitely got thoughts lol. I might even make a post diving into different character dynamics. idk tho, my fingies are tired typing all that shit😭

Anyway i hope u enjoyed my ramblings, have a lovely day :3

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #thoughts from the pit #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt

48 notes · View notes

whatsnewalycat · 2 months

Text

This is gonna come out clumsy and like me being a big cry baby probably but idk here we go.

My entry point into the pedro fandom was reading fanfics, then I felt inspired enough to start writing stories I wanted to read. Before I started reading fics, though, I hadn’t been able to read a story for years and years, maybe a decade or more lol. I managed to get through Dreamcatcher by Stephen King in three years, and I listened to audiobooks, but reading is incredibly challenging for me because of ADHD. So I was really stoked that the adhd brain accepted my attempts to read fanfiction.

Once I started writing fanfics, it’s like that switch turned off. I try to read things, and sometimes I’m able to, but it’s like herding cats in my brain. And it sucks because I’ve made these connections with other writers here in this fandom, and I want to read their things and contribute and be encouraging, but I just cannot sometimes. It makes me feel like a shitty friend and a bad representative of this fandom, which is a me problem I know that.

Idk. I guess this is just an acknowledgement… I’m not good about reading and reblogging other people’s stories. And I hate that. And I’m sorry.

If you’re a fellow writer, it doesn’t mean I don’t support you or think you fucking rule or anything like that, it’s just that my brain won’t let me even though I really want to.

Sometimes I think about recording myself reading fics to add a new interesting dimension that might appease the adhd gods. Also sometimes I think about how doing that might be a way for other people who have difficulties with reading to access fics. But that would involve audio editing and boy howdy do I have no fucking clue what that all entails.

Anyway. Until I have this breakdown again, xoxo, aly.

#this is me over explaining myself due to guilt hello hi #just adhd things

38 notes · View notes

writtenbymisunderstoodnerds · 1 year

Text

I never wanted this, but maybe it's not such a bad thing (Preath x Reader)

Soulmate Au, requested by anon. This turned out to be really long and it's still not finished so I decided to split it up into 2-3 parts. Hope you enjoy!

If I haven't done your request yet it will be coming. I try to write in order of request, but my brain chooses what I write without my consent and I can't focus on anything else. Perks of ADHD.

Words: 2.7k

---

Soulmates. It was a concept that I had always despised. Why did the universe or whatever you want to call it get to decide who I was meant to spend my life with? I didn't like being told what to do at the best of times, let alone when it came to one of the biggest decisions one might make in life. Apparently when you meet your soulmate a tattoo appeared somewhere on your body of something that represented where or how you first met. I hadn't found my so called soulmate yet and I really didn't care if I did or not. It's not like I would do anything about it anyway.

"Where are you heading in such a hurry?" Ali asked, as I was getting my stuff together. Ash was my older sister, Ali had practically been my sister since they met, I loved her as much as I did Ash. They had let me stay with them after I got out of the marines last year after being injured in a bad wreck, I was struggling to readjust to normal life and move past the wreck. There were a lot of bad dreams and sleepless nights which had me turning to alcohol. Ash had pulled me out of it before it turned from a bad habit to an addiction. She got me into therapy, stopped me from drinking, slept with me every night for over a month until my dreams started to settle down.

"I'm going surfing, tell Ash I'm heading to our spot if she wants to join." I ran out the door, but quickly turned back kissing the kids and Ali's cheek, "Love you all, aunty will see you both soon, be good."

"Be safe, love you. Remember some of the team is coming for lunch, it would be good to meet them before you start." I was starting with the team as security in two weeks. With being deployed, trying to sort my life out and working, I had never met most of the team. Unfortunately, I had even missed their wedding because I was deployed. The only person I had ever really met was Megan.

"I'll be there!" I yelled over my shoulder.

After what felt like hours and good few wipe outs, I finally made my way back to the beach. I had my wetsuit sitting down around my waist, drying myself off when a voice spoke up, "You're pretty good."

There was a brown haired girl, probably about my age, staring at my abs. I smirked before speaking, "Guess you didn't see the part where I totally wiped out?"

Her head shot up. As soon as our eyes met, an intense burning sensation shot through my wrist. I hissed, gripping my wrist. The stranger seemed to be doing the same thing, but the pain was so intense, I couldn't pay much attention. After a few seconds the pain subsided and I finally looked down at my wrist. Previously bare skin was now covered by a wave tattoo. What was happening finally hit me. The stranger was my soulmate.

I looked at her for a second, feeling a sense of calm wash over me as it felt like everything was falling into place. It felt right. Which was not what I wanted to feel. Honestly, it scared me. I had heard stories about it, but I never wanted to feel that way towards my soulmate.

"You-"

Before the stranger could say anything else, I ran away. Literally, I picked up my surfboard and sprinted down the beach. I never wanted to meet my soulmate, I didn't want a soulmate to begin with. In that moment I figured that if I ran away, I wouldn't have to deal with it or see her again.

"Woah, I know you are not about to come into this house with your wetsuit still on."

"Right sorry," I quickly stripped off my wetsuit, making sure to hang it up before rushing upstairs to shower and try forget what happened on the beach. I was in the shower for probably half an hour before moving to sit on my bed, staring into space for another good half an hour. There was a knock on the door, bringing me out of my thoughts, "Yeah?"

"You coming down? The team is starting to arrive."

"Uh yeah, let me just get dressed. I'll be down in a minute."

I quickly got dressed before pushing any thoughts of soulmates out of my mind. Before I could get far, crying from the nursery caught my attention. Ali called up the stairs asking me to get him before heading down.

"Hi baby boy," I whispered as I picked him up, moving to change his diaper before we went down stairs, "I could definitely use some cuddles from my beautiful nephew right about now, how does that sound? Maybe we can get you a bottle while we're at it, everyone loves good food after a nap."

I was too invested in my one sided conversation to notice the amount of girls gathered in the kitchen as I walked in. As I looked up, I found my gaze drawn to a curly haired brunette. That was until my wrist started intensely burning again.

"Take him."

Ali looked confused, "What?"

"Someone take him now." Ocean was quickly taken from me as I gripped my wrist, trying not to swear because I knew Sloane was in the room. This almost felt worse than the first time, maybe because the area was already tender.

"Y/n! What's happening?" I heard Ash ask, voice laced with worry as her arm wrapped around me. The pain subsided once again as I looked at the stranger. I got the same calm feeling from the beach wash over me. Ash was still standing next to me, concern radiating off her as I looked around the room, eyes stopping on the stranger from the beach. Before anyone could say anything, I ran again. This time out of the house and back to the beach. I was confused, why did I have that reaction twice? There was no way I had two soulmates right? That doesn't happen.

I finally looked down at my wrist. The wave tattoo now accompanied by a house. I sunk down into the sand, tucking my knees against my chest as I stared out at the water.

Someone sat down next to me, I knew it was either Ali or Ash, they were the only ones who knew about the little corner of the beach I came to hide. Ali's soft voice spoke up after a few seconds, "Thought I might find you here. You found your soulmate?"

Of course it was Ali. Ash was always there for me, but it was more support, spending time with me, fighting for me. Ali was always the better one at making me talk. I chucked humourlessly, showing her my wrist, "Two soulmates apparently. First one happened on the beach earlier."

"That's why you came in so hurriedly. Going by who you were looking at when it happened, I have a feeling I know who your other is. Do you want to know who they are?"

"I never wanted to know them at all."

Ali wrapped her arm around me, pulling me closer. Her perfume creating a sense of peace as it always did, "I know, I know you don't like the concept of a soulmate, but you're going to be around them a lot Y/n. They're our teammates."

"Of course they are. Fuck this, fuck the world, fuck everything."

She chuckled, rubbing my arm, "You're being a bit dramatic."

I groaned dramatically, "Just let me be dramatic for a second before I have to face this."

"Okay, let me know when you're ready."

After a few minutes I decided to just face it. It wasn't something I could run from. Ali was right, if they were on the team them I would be around them a lot, "Tell me."

"So the one in the house is Christen, now I'm assuming the one from the beach is Tobin."

"Why do you assume that?"

"Christen and Tobin are together, they're soulmates. They've mentioned a few times that they felt like someone was missing. I know you don't want this Y/n, but you should at least talk to them. It effects them as well, they deserve to know your stance."

Once again Ali was right, just because I didn't believe in it, doesn't mean they didn't deserve to know that I wasn't interested instead of me just running away or ignoring it. I could be an asshole, but not that much of an asshole, especially when it came to potentially breaking some ones heart. "I know. Give me 5 minutes once you get back then you can send them out if they want to."

Ali left, once again leaving me to my thoughts. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I was never good at talking to people I just met or having to potentially hurt someone. Add them both together and I was slightly panicking.

Shadows covered the sun making me look up. There stood my two soul mates. Who I guessed was Tobin spoke up first, "Uh hey, Ali said we'd find you out here."

I quickly looked down, trying to stop the feelings that started to rise being this close to them. It was comfortable, calming, peaceful, but I was nervous at the same time. Nervous about what to say, how they would react and how I would feel about it once it was done. It wasn't what I wanted, I didn't want to be forced to be with someone. There was a small part of me that wondered if I would regret it, "Hey."

"I'm Tobin, this is Christen."

"Y/n."

They sat down, looking about as nervous as I felt. There was silence for a few seconds before I spoke up, "I'm sorry for running away. Twice. It was a shock I guess."

"It's okay, we get it."

"Look um I have to be honest with you both. I don't believe in soulmates, well I do, but I don't believe in the concept of just being with someone because you're told you should be. I'm sure you are both great, but this isn't something I'm looking to pursue."

They tried to hide it, but I saw the hurt fill their eyes. My heart ached knowing I hurt them. Hurting people was the last thing I wanted to do. Christen smiled softly at me, "We respect that Y/n."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay. We understand."

"We're going to head back in. Are you coming?"

"I will. I'm just going to take a minute."

After getting my mind back in order, I made my way back to the house stopping by the door to take my shoes off. It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop, but I accidently overheard the conversation going on. "Yes she's our soulmate, no nothing is going to come of it. She's not looking for that right now and we understand that. Finding out you have two soulmates is a lot especially when you're not looking for a relationship. Yes, it kind of hurts, but please don't let this effect the way you interact with her. We don't hold any negative feelings toward her."

There was quiet conversation as I waited a few seconds before going inside. I appreciated that they had my back despite what just happened. It was one of my worries that it would effect how the team saw me. I couldn't do my job easily if they hated me. I also didn't want my sisters bestfriends to hate me. Sloane was the first person to notice me, she ran up pulling at my hand until I picked her up, "Otay aunt Y/n/n? Ouchie? Kiss better."

I held my wrist out for her to kiss better. It was something I always did for her when she got hurt, "I'm okay superstar, it's all better now thanks to you."

"Ladies, this is my sister Y/n. As you may know she's starting as head of security in a couple of weeks."

Things weren't as awkward as I expected. They didn't seem to hold it against me. Interacting with me, getting to know me. Tobin and Christen kept their distance, choosing to interact with anyone but me. It wasn't unexpected, I was doing the same thing. It was just easier that way.

---

No one warned you how weird it would feel to not be with your soulmate or soulmates in my case. It was kind of hard to describe, there wasn't a constant pain or heartache like you would read in stories, it just felt weird. It was a sort of empty feeling, like something was missing. Which I guess there was. It had been three weeks since I first met them and a week since I started working with them.

We were friendly when around each other, but Christen and Tobin kept their distance when they could. I didn't blame them, I knew it hurt that their soulmate didn't want them. Ash had told me when I had asked how they were. Just because I didn't want it, doesn't mean I didn't care. If I'm being honest, I was still drawn to them, drawn to how right everything felt when I was around them. That scared me so I kept even more of a distance.

I was heading up to my room when someone stopped the elevator from closing. Christen and Tobin got on, standing awkwardly across from me. This was the first time we had been alone since the beach on the day we met. The elevator jolted to a stop, not opening or moving despite trying the buttons.

"They said something went wrong with the system, some ones coming to fix it, but it could take up to an hour." Tobin informed us as she hung up the phone.

"Great. That's just fucking fantastic. Of course this would happen now of all times"

I noticed Tobin clenching her jaw, "I know you don't want to be stuck with us, but you don't have to take it out on us. It's not like it's our fault."

I slid down the wall, tucking my knees to my chest. Tobin and Christen followed my lead, sitting down on the other side of the elevator. "Sorry, that was just a general statement, it wasn't aimed at you. I have an appointment with my therapist and I don't do well in confined spaces anymore." There was silence for a few minutes before I spoke up again, "It's not that I don't want to be stuck with you guys, I have nothing against you, you're both really nice people."

Tobin sighed, head resting back against the wall, "I know you have a thing about soulmates and we do respect that, but why won't you even just try to get to know us before completely shutting it down?"

"I don't know. To be honest I didn't even think about it. Everything happened so quickly, I got scared."

"What scares you?" Christen asked, voice softer than Tobin's was. I was starting to think that was just how Christen was. She always seemed so soft spoken. I admit it was comforting.

I was never one to easily talk about my feelings, but I figured I owed them more of an explanation seeing as I broke their hearts with little to no explanation to begin with, "I don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone I don't like or have anything in common with. I want to choose who I'm with, who I build a life with, not have it forced on me. Having two soulmates didn't help either."

"Chris and I aren't asking for a relationship Y/n."

"Y-you're not?"

"No, we just want to get to know you, see if there is anything there beside the soulmate connection. We never expected you to just jump into a relationship with us, all we wanted was to get to know you. Seeing how you reacted to us, we didn't want to push you."

"No expectations?"

"No expectations."

"That might be okay. For now can you guys just tell me about yourselves? Distract me from what's happening because I'm about to start panicking."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt imagine #tobin heath x reader #tobin heath imagine #christen press x reader #christen press imagine #christen press/reader #preath #preath x reader

323 notes · View notes

trashlama · 11 months

Text

Heeeeeyyyyy.... guess who's ADHD can't let them write for shit?~ This bitch✨~

I suuuuuucck guys I know! I did a poll and everything just so I would have to write some of these! I just couldn't help but get side tracked.... My brain is in the LMK and Spiderverse fandoms!!! Though I will say I basically got this Rise Donnie x Big Mama Assistant req almost done. Almost I say. We'll see if I post it in the next two days and not something else random instead.... I suck lol

Anyways— here's my 3am thoughts from the other night that I'm finish up tonight ironically at 3am again. Soooo bare with me these are basically a bunch of summaries/plots/not fully flushed out possible one shot ideas I might do. Probably could've re-read it a couple more times buuuuttt it's about to be 4 now so....

I hope you guys enjoy!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

+++++++++++++++++++

Sooooo I was going through the Across the Spiderverse tag(specifically Miguel O'Hara) because you know he's hot. Priorities— Anyways— I kinda had an idea. Brahhzz what if I just took the whole Miguel kidnapping his dead wife/lover's alternate dimensional copy deal that everyone has been throwing around and introduced a new take on this tale?

We all know that the Spiderverse is very open to a wide selection of possibilities and versions of Spiderman and we're all aware that the same thing applies to other characters as well. Soooo who said that Y/n has to be a civilian/or a version of Spiderman for this idea to work?

My fellow peeps I introduce to you Earth 2099 Miguel O'Hara x Villain/Alchemax worker/Morally Grey scientist Reader!

I can kinda see this playing out in a few ways.

1.)Villain reader investigating the strange phenomenon that occurred a couple months before hacking the multi verse and stirring up trouble. Miguel intervenes and takes what he wants.

For the last year since the bizarre phenomenon in downtown Brooklyn you've been stirring up more trouble than you typical due to collecting the materials needed for your "experiments" to figure out what that phenomenon really was and what the hell was Alchemax —your ex-employers— were up to with your research. With some finessing of the illegal kind you figure out what the corporation was up to. Before being fired you had discovered the existence of the multiverse however before you could investigate any further you were let go. Now that you have your research back you're able to Doc Octo this shit and break into the multiverse. If you could pull this off nothing was stopping ya' from fulfilling yer goal and maybe scoring some fame while you were at it. After some convoluted ass science mumbojumbo. You manage to Doc Octo this shit and break into the dimensional web that held the spider verse. Inside the alternate universe you immediately start messing up shit straight off the back as soon as you fly through the colorful portal. Miguel is quick to pick up on this anomaly and sends some Spiders out to handle the issue. Long story short— they fail. Forcing Miguel's hand to go and correct the anomaly himself. Only to find that it was you. Her. His dead wife/or dead lover. The only problem is that you're obviously not a good guy. Miguel being Miguel will try to rationalize it to himself as he demolishes your equipment/suit that you're not his Y/n, you're a villain, he can't keep you without risking a whole universe just for his selfish desires. However as he stood over your defeated helpless form. He decided. If one anomaly can exist and not destroy existence why can't another? There were ways around this. There had to be. Holding you in his grasp again the hero wasn't sure if he could let you go once again....

2.) You're an inventor/scientist that works at Alchemax/or your another rogue scientist . Either way you're looking to get into the Spider verse. Since the phenomenon from a couple months ago you've been intrigued by the strange occurrence. The news labeled it a "strange weather occurrence" however you knew that wasn't the case. If you're working at Alchemax you've known about the phenomenon since the beginning. If you're an inventor/scientist (with some grey morals) you found out after some research and trespassing. Either way your tinkering pays off thanks to the help of some stolen tech from Alchemax and an interesting glitch from the hacked tech. You eventually have yourself a fully operational universe hopping watch. And where do you end up? Right in the middle of Earth 2099. Miguel is immediately alerted of your presence. An obvious stranger to this Jetson world you find yourself quickly apprehended by a small group of spiders/or Miguel. Either way the red & blue leotard nosferatu as soon as he catches sight of you the dude is all over you. Miguel may be a man who would like to believe he is in control of himself and his rash decisions buuuuttt that's gonna be a nah. Never had the Spiderman ever expected to speak to an alternate version of his dead wife. Especially in person. Every time he's stolen a glance it was from a distance or behind one of his various monitors. He couldn't risk ruining another verse. However somehow regardless of his attempts to keep his desires at bay you've still managed to break past that last thing that was keeping you from him. Now that you're here the thirty year old wasn't sure if he could let you leave him again...

3.) What if instead of breaking into the multi verse. Alchemax employee/Morally Grey scientist Reader! is lured into the multiverse? In your home verse the Miguel who you had married was dead. Struggling with piling debt and depression you choose to bury your problems under research into the weird phenomenon that occurred in downtown Brooklyn a few months before. During this time of trial and error you figure out how to access the multiverse thanks to some misplaced Alchemax files and risky choices. The documents aid in building the device that would aid in your plan to find your ex-husband's alternate universe copy. All the while you were walking right into Miguel's clutches. Cause like you Miguel was having an equally hard time getting over his family's death. Although they are gone the widowed father couldn't help but, search for his loved ones amongst the various worlds that rest at his finger tips. He needed them. He needed you....and you needed him. Although you guys weren't from the same earth you both can replace the pain that was birthed from this tragedy and regain something more. Just be a family.... Hopefully you want to play his game because Miguel couldn't watch from the sidelines any longer.

Alrighty guys that's all for now! Sorry if they're a little all over the place. Regardless I hope you guys liked them and I hope you guys have a good week!

126 notes · View notes

sanest-bsd-delegate · 1 year

Note

hello! I hope you are having an amazing day <333 if not troublesome, can I request Dazai, Chuuya and Ranpo taking care of a sick s/o? also if not alr taken, can I be 🌺 anon ? *\(^o^)/*

Sneeze for good luck

Headcanon: where your boyfriend takes care of your sick self ft Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo Masterlist Please look at the request rules in masterlist before requesting. Tysm anon for the request! Hope this doesn't disappoint you :) do request more if you wish!!

Dazai:

Both of you are sick. But here's the catch, You are physical sick and he is mentally sick.

How did you get sick if you ask me? Some stupid Idea arose inside your brain to eat ice in winters.

Guess who's sick and sneezing? YOU

My guy just came back from work to see his Belladonna sneezing and coughing

He would totally make fun of your situation

“Why belladonna,” he would say, audibly gasping “ couldn't you wait for me? We both could have had a ice eating challenge”

But nevertheless, he will just smile a little seeing you sneeze.

He will cling on you. Even if you are high on fever.

"Dazai, get away I am sick" "Well! that makes a perfect scenario to die of hyperpyrexia"

BRO!?? LIKE THE VOCAB HE WILL USE??

"Y/N my sweet belladonna, drink this, acetaminophen, it will help with your fever" "How do you even know this?"

"Drink it" "No" BRO DRINK IT YOU ARE SICK!

He will give you a lot of cuddles, which may result in something

"I didn't even recover well and you are high on fever"

Nevertheless you had to call Kunikida to bring medicines and food for you both.

Chuuya:

Well, for once we know how rich he is.

He will suggest you take to the best doctors to cure your sickness. But....you just want your boyfriend's care tbh.

What's the sickness you say? Well, you decided it was fun to overdrink one of his most expensive wines along with expired chips just because you won against puny teenagers in Roblox Piggy.

Bro was angry at first, but we all know how much of a sweetheart he is, so he just sighed and forgave you well maybe he just might have stopped buying you Roblox for another month

He would go on a panik mode, whenever you puck in the bathroom

If you own majestic long hair, He would be the one holding it as you vomit.

“Maybe I shouldn't have drank that much” “Maybe you should start learning the art of common sense.”

We all know he would deny not being in the same room as you, but in the end you and him will be in the bed, cuddling together.

He would make sure you intake stomach friendly food and check your temperature once in a while.

He even takes off work for a week just to heal you back up.

“Chuuya hug me” “No your sick” “🥺🥺”

Dw, you made sure he hugs you (that is you not letting him go by hugging him from the back.)

Ranpo:

I don't even know where to start. But it did end with him being independent for the first time.

It was like you were a single mother of an ADHD kid, and you happened to be sick.

“Y/N Why are you sick?” Like sir how would anyone even reply to that?

“Y/N!! I am hungry!” “Take the chips from the cabinet Ranpo”

When he opens his majestic ‘closed glued most of the time’ eyes, he in fact sees you are sick.

Baby boy just hugs you and apologies for disturbing you.

Look at him! He tried to cook Candies?

Yeah he didn't risk cooking after that.

“Y/N, don't worry you will be fine! These coughs and sneeze are for good luck ^-^” “Yeah” Coughs x♾️

You had to force him to buy medicines at the pharmacy, because well, no one will be awake at the middle of 2am when you are cosplaying as Akutagawa

“Mr. Pharmacy guy, Can I get those Vicks candies?” “You mean these cough drops?” “Yes” “I am not paid enough to handle these teenagers”

He anyways Naruto runs back home to find you asleep. (Guess you really didn't depend on him huh?)

Well you did get a lot of headpats from Ranpo, but we all know he would just maintain a distance from you knowing you are asleep.

Anon: can I be 🌺 anon ? Absolutely! Glad to have you on board as the first emoji anon 💗

252 notes · View notes

onmyyan · 2 years

Note

Hiii I would like to say I like your writing and everything you do please make sure to get lots of rest and drink lots of water also I like a Caspian a lot and would like to hear more about him but, I am also interested in Ricky as when you said he was the smartest out of the brothers can we get more head canons about him. What is he like? What type of darling does he like and what are his dislikes also can his s/o be a oil painter( a really good one at that) when you get the chance

Also sorry if this is really long thank you 😊

A/N: Sweet anon i love ya and i hope your staying well fed and rested!! I was hoping someone would ask about Ricky!!! If u can't tell I have a crush oh him (EDITED 12/16/22)

T/W'S: Yandere shenanigans, manipulation, Virgo man,

Richard 'Ricky' Delmont

Coming in at a whopping 6'3, this brooding bastard isn't the biggest of his siblings, but he is the most cunning.

He has ADHD, his brain is reaching conclusions and other viable options while everyone else is still processing the question.

He keeps his hair long, the red really shines through in the sun, the ends touched his lower back, his canines are sharper than most when he's deep in thought his tongue constantly flickered over them.

His birthmark looks like a crudely drawn smiley face, his family nickname is- you guessed it, 'Smiley.' I know, so creative, this gets used a lot more ironically now since he almost always looks irritated.

His face is usually twisted into this 'irate at it all look' but when he'd occasionally unclench and relax, he had the prettiest features.

His eyes are captivating in the same way cats are.

But when he gets blackout mad they go black like a shark, his pupil gets so blown that all the red in his iris disappears.

Smells like old books and has some stupid expensive cologne that smells like a guy no other way to describe it.

The Brooklyn is strong in this one, very much sounds like the "settle down" guy from TikTok.

Secretly soft, so secret even he doesn't realize it.

Obsessed with his Fathers approval, like its a problem LMAO

Super into anything creative, particularly music, he used it as a tool to both understand and be understood, all genes appealed to him. Still, secretly, pop was his favorite, the only people who know that are his Mother and his Darling.

Had a scene phase- don't ask him about it unless you want him to lock himself in his room and blast MCR for a few hours

Holds you so tenderly, it's never a quick thing with him, he just wraps himself around you like a security blanket.

He's their Fathers favorite and it's obvious, once he began to show initiative, Carlos, their Father, quickly took him under his wing, sure Gabe had the muscle to do the job right but Ricky had the brain.

In that favoritism he has a lot of pressure to succeed, sure he'd get a proud look or a pat on the back whenever he did, but that consuming fear of failure weighed on him heavily.

Was forced to grow up wayyy faster than he should have. This shows in the way he treats people and himself.

Love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time.

Has a sixth sense about shit, like he knows when something is about to go down and the best way to handle it.

Scarily good at reading people, and knows when someone is lying so don't bother.

His one nickname for you is 'Love', while simple, he thinks it's absolutely perfect for you, it's what you brought into his life.

Despite the hardass mask he had up 99% of the time, he was truly himself with you.

He can let down his walls in a way he was never fully able to with his family.

Cherishes you wholeheartedly, has several notebooks filled to the brim with anything and everything you.

Huge stalker

The kinda guy who is careful in every aspect of his life, especially when it came to you.

He stalked you for a full year before officially claiming you as his Darling. He had to be certain you were the one because he didn't like making mistakes.

At least that's what he tells himself, but between you and me he was building up the confidence to ask you out.

The first time you two 'meet', only one of you notices the other.

You'd been browsing the oil paints intensely, so focused you didn't notice the massive man thumbing through the section on your right but he sure noticed you.

The tender way you inspected each tube caught his eye, particularly the fact that you bothered to put everything back where it belonged, it showed a certain kindness he only ever saw in his Mother.

He lingers, not so close you'd catch on, and pretends to look something up on his phone, then subtly takes a picture of your card when you pull it out to pay. He watches you until you leave.

The second the bell of the door signals your departure he's gone, typing your full name into the search bar with such fever his fingers trembled. The jolt of excitement turned into a constant hum as he searched.

He enjoys gathering research, even more so when it involves you.

He finds your art accounts first and spends hours staring at each piece you've created like a historian. If you do commissions he'll immediately ask for something, anything, as long as it comes from you he wants it- no, he needs it.

Of course, he'd use an anonymous account of his, one of many, and the second you agree he's sent over the full amount with the small message "Take your time, whatever you come up with will blow me away- R."

It's the start of your relationship, even if you don't realize it yet. He commissions you as often as you'd allow, using it as a way to communicate his love.

"Phenomenal work. You never cease to amaze me, I'm forever grateful for the chance to experience such wonder."

The notes he left grew more and more poetic, to you he was a mysterious, eloquently spoken fan who was very passionate about Art, he was, of course, talking about you whenever he wrote.

Speaking of, if given the chance to start over, he'd be an author, or a songwriter, anything where he gets to tap into the darkness inside and create from it.

A huge cuddle bug.

It's the one action you can lure him away from work with.

He is a Virgo man so you know, run

Has a bad habit of not eating when he's in 'work' mode, something you'll have to look out for.

The kinda person who can burn water, for the love of everything good keep him away from the kitchen.

Tried to make you breakfast once and nearly poisoned you both.

He sees the way their father looks at Caspian and does everything he can to escape that fate, meaning this book-loving, metal beltin' sweetheart learned to hide himself to fit in.

He can DANCE but never does it around anyone but you or his mirror.

Insecure about his "softer" features, his persona was built around hiding those parts of himself, thankfully loving you began to uncover those hidden pieces of him, while it wouldn't happen overnight, the light he had shined bright whenever he'd let it.

Would cry cum and combust if you ever painted him, literally gets it framed and has a very serious debate with himself if it should go in his home office or his work one, it comes down to the idea of having a shit day at work and looking up to see the physical representation of your love for him, that seals the deal.

He shows his love with every action and every word.

Possessive of your time, if he's perfectly satisfied only having you in his life why wouldn't you feel the same??

Openly hates your friends, well not so open you'd notice and call him out, but open in a way that has your friends complaining about him, he works you so well that he has you thinking it's better to stay in than go out with your friends, and who is he to deny you?

While he'd never make you mad on purpose, he did get all tingly when you got pissed at someone else, your brows would furrow and your gaze would turn to ice, oh would you look at that he's hard now.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yananswers #anon submission #yandere x y/n #yandere ocs #yandere oc ricky #ricky delmont #ricky delmont x reader #yandere oc x reader

385 notes · View notes

peachdoxie · 1 month

Text

I don't think I ever really processed the trauma I went through in OCD treatment and reblogging that comic about OCD the other day really triggered me and arghhhhhhh I don't know what to do about it. Thoughts I guess.

The main thing is like, any time I would express doubts that I actually have OCD, my therapist (who specialized in OCD) would tell me that doubting that I have OCD is actually a very common symptom of OCD, and it felt like he refused to actually listen to my doubts when I was like "my avoidance happens because there's some block in my brain that I can't get past and it's not rooted in anxiety."

Like, because he thought I had OCD that meant that any thought or behavior I expressed automatically was because of OCD and not like, adhd, autism, fibromyalgia, sensory processing disorder, etc. It felt like my only options were to agree with him (which I didn't want to do because I don't!) or continue arguing and therefore just confirm what he already thought.

And like honestly it made me almost question my sense of reality when I was like "I'm avoiding this thing because I'm worried the physical exertion will trigger an asthma attack or tachycardia event or fibromyalgia flare up or migraine" and he'd be like "but what if it doesn't and you're fine?" and I was like "I can't take that risk because of how long it takes me to recover from these health issues" then he'd say "OCD treatment is about learning that you can and have to work through discomfort and, yes, even pain" and honestly if not for the fact that I have a strong sense of self and years of experience to back this up, I might have started to doubt that my health issues were really as bad (even though they are!) as I was perceiving them.

Like one exercise I had to do was increase my anxiety (to show myself that I can handle anxiety) by hyperventilating through a coffee stirrer for a set number of seconds, and I was supposed to do it even if I was going to black out but when I said I felt like that was too risky for me because of the aforementioned health issues (the tachycardia especially) he just kept trying to convince me to do it even though I kept saying I don't think I should!

And he kept suggesting things to convince me to do tasks, like if I don't do xyz by our next appointment I have to donate ALL of my savings to a political cause I disagree with, and I was like "that just creates more anxiety for me because I genuinely do not think I can do this thing because my brain won't let me!" That was the last session I saw him because I cancelled after that.

Honestly I think the main reasons OCD therapy was so traumatic for me were 1) I constantly felt invalidated when I expressed concerns and 2) I was being misinterpreted by someone who refused to listen to me. That second one is something that actually really bothers me a lot and some of the biggest falling outs I've had with friends in high school were when they misinterpreted something I said as malicious and used it against me. But the invalidation of my concerns goes right along with it.

The thing is too the part of me that does have perseverance and anxiety—not the logical side of me, that is—still worries that maybe he was right all along and I do have OCD and all of my problems are just because I don't think I can do something so I don't, even though my logical brain can point to all of the evidence contrary to that worry.

Like yeah, I do have intrusive thoughts that cause my anxiety, but I'm pretty good at handling them. And my avoidance is based in past experience of "if I trigger one of my health issues by doing one of these specific things that have triggered them in the past, it will make the rest of my week very difficult as I struggle to recover and play catch-up." It's like, what anxiety I have is most often based in very real, very tangible worries—and even now, I'm struggling not to start spiraling about it, so I'll stop before I get there.

Tbh the only good thing to come out of those six months of hell was the conclusion that the vast majority of my problems aren't caused by anxiety and that there is something else going on, whether it's autism, adhd, fibromyalgia, or whatever. I'm not sure it outweighs the trauma, but hey I learned something I guess.

Tbh I try not to be too pissed at myself for seeking OCD treatment in the first place and basically wasting my leave of absence by making minimal progress. I decided to listen to the therapist who diagnosed me (different from the OCD treatment therapist) instead of going with my idea of seeking help from an autism/adhd therapist, because I tend to defer to authorities on things like that—though I will say, the negativity and fearmongering on Tumblr around getting autism/adhd diagnoses certainly didn't help.

I think overall it's frustrating because I will never get closure with the OCD therapist. He will always have misinterpreted me and refused to listen to me, and I'll just have to live with that.

It's also frustrating because I don't think either therapist necessarily did anything wrong, per se, since they were looking at what evidence they had from their experience in their fields, which certainly biased them—and they both admitted to me that they don't know much about autism or adhd, and I should have taken that as a yellow flag and bailed sooner—and I'm going to shut up because the spiral is starting again.

Anyway if you read all this, thanks I guess. I'm mostly just train of thought writing to get the thoughts out of my head (perseveration is a symptom of OCD but also of adhd/autism and I need to keep reminding myself that). Please don't give me advice or suggest I reach out to either therapist please. Compassion only.

Please also don't try to convince me that I do have OCD because I don't need someone encouraging my anxiety spiral.

#anecdotes by peachdoxie #I'll probably delete this later but whatever

22 notes · View notes

uwusillygirl · 6 months

Text

HAPPY END OF KINKTOBER! UWUSILLYGIRL'S BIG HUGE THANK YOU POST!

hi!!!!

first and foremost, i'd love to thank everyone for such a fabulous kinktober. i was tentative about doing something within the community; i was worried no one would participate, or i would be organizing an event "wrong", or that people would feel limited by my prompts and suggestions. you all made sure that absolutely NONE OF THESE FEARS WERE WARRANTED! everyone came with the COOLEST shit.

here is a brief collection of some of my personal favorites; either just stunningly written, fascinatingly done, or personally my cup of tea (and i will not tell you which is which! lmao!)

A SHORT LIST OF SOME FANTASTIC PIECES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

@aicosu's "KNOCK KNOCK": oxy-addicted, adhd, dopamine hole eddie and fastidious, nerdy, ex-fundamentalist chrissy meet at the glory hole of a seedy sex arcade. visceral, headachey, and so hot.

@staceymcgillicuddy's whole series was awesome, but i LOVED their "humiliation + bladder control" prompt especially. nasty and mean!

@jewelledfoxes' also had banger after banger, but i really loved their bottoming from the top prompt, "i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck" .

the anonymously posted "if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right": the most charming, sweetest little take on hybristophilia a girl has ever seen! chrissy sees eddie being very evil and bad (read as: harmless graffiti) and is simply swept away by his raw criminality. so cute, soft, silly, fantastic.

@chrissy-n-eddie's "Bottom Bunk", a one-shot using "gender bend" and "spit" to give the CUTEST DAMN SAPPHIC CAMP COUNSELOR PUSSY EATING FIC TO EVER EXIST MAYBE EVER? THEY'VE GOT SUNBURNED NOSES! THEY'RE IN LITTLE YELLOW T-SHIRTS!

@bettercraic went big-brained as all hell with their jonathan/nancy/eddie/chrissy voyuerism installment, "let's make a team". quick and sexy.

@erythromanc3r wrote this mean and insane and nasty one-shot, "kiss me where you bruise me" that is the hottest anything ever. you're never gonna guess what i loved about it (kidding. you will. it's mean.)

FINALLY! i would like to thank those who stuck to THEIR OWN HARD LIMITS, CREATED WHOLE SERIES, OR WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE! we had some people make whole cohesive (@hunter-gatherer-stuff) stories, we had some people come in and write about pimple popping, we had people write shit (@badlydrawnlips) based on my own indulgent little kink dynamics (sorry, couldn't not mention that one... so baller), and best of all, we had people write their own stuff when the prompts were not for them. that made my heart so happy.

A FINAL PERVERT'S NOTE:

if you are working on a kinktober series that's gonna take more time, if you have prompts in process that you suddenly have the urge to finish, if you wake up in a cold sweat on december 3rd and just NEED to write about spit, fucking do it and tag it. i love you so much. every day is kinktober if you are a true pervert. take your time, love your life, remember that fanfiction (like art in general!) should be an enjoyable effort and made under your own rules!

there is still some stuff i have left to read on the tag! and i loved literally everything i read, this is just a rapid-fire word vomit. i PROMISE i will get around to anything unread soon! i am so unbelievably pleased about this month, thank you all again so, so, so much!

#hellcheer kinktober 2023 #i couldn't find some of you to tag!! if you are unmentioned in one of my links please let me know!!

47 notes · View notes