You bite your lower lip. You don't think being straight to the point with Karkat would be a good idea… Though you considered it heavily before ultimately choosing to go with an apology.

Okay… Here it comes.

Dave: hey. Dave: im… sorry Dave: im sorry man

Your voice is quiet. Maybe too quiet, making you think the other didn't hear you. So you look up to glance at the other.

Dave: genuinely i Dave: i didnt think wed see each other like

You don’t get the chance to finish before he raises his hand to cut you off.

Karkat: YOU KNOW IF I WANTED TO WATCH SOMEONE VOMIT THE FLIMSIEST APOLOGY KNOWN TO MAN, I'D GO OUTSIDE AND WATCH ONE OF THE INFECTED ASSHOLES OUT THERE THROW UP THEIR GUTS ONTO THE PAVEMENT. Karkat: AND IT WOULD STILL BE A BETTER "SORRY" THAN ANYTHING YOUR BATTER BRAINED SKULL COULD CONJURE UP RIGHT NOW. Karkat: SO SAVE US BOTH THE EMBARRASSMENT AND SHUT UP FOR GODSAKES

You scowl, back straightening. Goddamnit now you remember. Remember how much of a crabby jackass he is.

Dave: oh Dave: because sitting in the dark while silently death glaring at each other is productive Dave: cause we got all the time in the world to just kick back and do absolutely nothing but seethe at each other Dave: not like i was trying t

Karkat: TO DO WHAT EXACTLY? BE REMORSEFUL? BE ACTUALLY APOLOGETIC WITH NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE DESPITE KNOWING I CAN BE OF USE TO YOU? Karkat: DO YOU HONESTLY TAKE ME FOR SOME KIND OF FUCKING IDIOT?! Karkat: THAT I WOULD EVEN HUMOR THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY SORRY?!! Karkat: THAT I'LL JUST TOSS MY RESENTMENT AND FRUSTRATION OUT INTO THE ATMOSPHERE BECAUSE POOR OL' STRIDER IS JUST A PATHETIC LUMP OF BRUISES! Karkat: *FAT FUCKING CHANCE.* Karkat: YOU COULD BE FOLDED INTO THE MOST DISGUSTING AND AGONIZING EXAMPLE OF HUMAN ORIGAMI AND I'D STILL BE "SEETHING" Karkat: SO YEAH, *I’M SORRY* THAT I DECIDED NOT TO WASTE MY TIME AND ENERGY HEARING YOUR LOUSY ATTEMPT AT A HEART TO HEART

Dave: … Dave: sigh

Once upon a time Jade had asked you and your mutual group of friends to test out the latest version of her new project. A mental inventory system that had a very convoluted retrieval and sorting system. Luckily her team was quick to fix that after your group’s trials with it.

Jade never really told you exactly why, but you always speculated that some people on her team, or well, someone, didn’t really trust your legitimacy enough when signing your NDA. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised you though, after all you have made a name for yourself with your bizarre level of spectacles you do for the sake of irony.

It did not thrill you to find out the next morning that you would now deal with the living embodiment of “stick up the ass” as your personal bodyguard for however long the trial had to last for. Despite your best efforts to get rid of the guy, you’ve quickly learned a few things about Mr. Vantas here. One of those things being that he is skeptical and stubborn to a fault.

Well, there it goes, your plans being haplessly thrown out the window! Poor sons of bitches didn’t even have a chance-

You hear a snap next to your ear

Karkat: JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU STOP MUMBLING TO YOURSELF FOR A SECOND AND PAY ATTENTION

Dave: what Dave: you have another drawn out monologue about how god awful i am? Dave: are you sure your throat can handle that shakespeare Dave: ya dont exactly have the voice for stage anymore with all that smoke Dave: but lets be real here Dave: its probably a good thing that you cant blow out anyone within a 10 ft radius of you eardrums anymore because you decided to make causal conversation

Karkat: YOU MOUTHY FUCKING PRICK- Karkat: CAN YOU DO THE WORLD Karkat: AND ME ESPECIALLY Karkat: A FUCKING FAVOR TO SHOVE WHATEVER BULLSHIT YOU HAVE IN YOUR WINDPIPE AND FUCKING LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO TELL YOU FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Dave: ok sir ill be on my best behavior for "five fucking seconds"

Karkat:THANK YOU, GODDAMN. Karkat: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO JUST KICK YOUR USELESS ASSES OUT OF MY HOUSE, I DON’T THINK I’LL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE A FIGHT BETWEEN YOUR POTENTIALLY TRIGGER HAPPY HELLSPAWN. Karkat: AND ALTHOUGH I THINK IT’S WITHIN MY RIGHT TO FEEL THIS LEVEL OF BRIGHT HOT ANGER TOWARDS ALL OF YOU… Karkat: SIGHS … I

He looks up at the ceiling as if his next few words are the greatest offense that any higher power could have subjected him to utter.

Karkat: (GOD I MUST BE MORE SICK THAN I THOUGHT.) Karkat: I, FOR SOME REASON THAT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE SEEING AS I HAVE DEALT WITH ENOUGH OF YOUR TOTAL TRASH FIRE OF A PREDICAMENT, BUT HERE I AM EVER THE GLUTTON FOR MORE SELF-INFLICTED MISERY

Dave: yeah yeah i get it Dave: im a dick get to the point

Karkat: I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE, YOU COMPLETE JACKASS!

Karkat: AND I HATE THAT CAUSE THAT RISKS MY LIFE FOR SOMEONE I ABSOLUTELY DON'T OWE SHIT TO, BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO THINK OF A REASON TO JUSTIFY IT TO MYSELF I CAN’T. Karkat: I CAN'T LIVE EASY KNOWING THAT IF SOMEONE DIED, EVEN IF THAT SOMEONE IS FUCKING YOU...I Karkat: I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN SURVIVORS GUILT YOU YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Dave: oh Dave: uh Dave:th Karkat: NO SHUT THE FUCK UP Karkat: FUCKING Karkat: NO!

Karkat: HAVING A SENSE OF COMPASSION STILL DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT’S EITHER I HELP OR I DIE. Karkat: DON’T TAKE THE FACT THAT I SOMEHOW STILL HAVE MY MORALS INTACT AS FLATTERY. Karkat: INSTEAD BURY THAT IDEA SO FAR IN THE WORTHLESS SLUDGE YOU CALL A THOUGHT PROCESS UNTIL IT ATOMIZES INTO NONEXISTEN-!

He must've worked himself up. You watch him as he moves out of your space to turn and hack up a cloud of smoke. Well, if this isn’t just the perfect time to digest the clusterfuck he has given you. While it is great that he is going to help you out, he’s doing it out of fear and as fuck up as it is, it’s an advantage you have over him.

Though is it a good idea to go along with that? That could risk him fucking you all over and abandoning all of you last minute. You could gain his trust, maybe offer him something that he might want, but even then what would you give him, you have no clue if you have anything to offer him, not to mention that again, he could still just ditch the plan when the opportunity shows up.

What are you going to do?

===> AUDIENCE

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️

i saw you accept matchups and I wanted to send one in :D so may I request a Platonic Matchup for Danganronpa, Hazbin Hotel, Alice In Borderland and TBHK (if your fine doing four— If not you can get rid of TBHK) 어쨌든, 시작하자!

my name is joey, im 4teen, i have autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD & BPD, im transgender (ftm), aromatic bisexual and unlabeled

appearance wise, im pretty midsize, im 5’6, white skinned, i have dyed black boy hair with bangs, hazel eyes, dark eyebags, piercings, i wear a lot of different styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome and kigurimin) scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, when I’m at home/work/school I wear Streetwear clothes such as baggy stuff and I also wear a lot of Y2K stuff too

I’m a Aquarius, an ENTP/INFP, 4w3 and Extroverted

My top interest is anime/manga, my other main interests are gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, fashion, music (including Vocal Synths! I’m a vocaloid producer and a regular one too), filmmaking, art(drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning instruments, learning languages, tabletop RPGs, rhythm games, cosplaying, watching documentaries, going on walks, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, dancing, science/history, and cooking, art is definitely my top main hobby rn, im dedicating a lot of time to it

Im usually awkward at first when I meet someone new, unless if I feel really comfortable or if I’m in a safe situation, when I’m comfortable with a person you CANNOT shut me up, I’ll be rambling about my interests and shit, i have a hard time communicating and understanding social cues due to my autism, my emotions come off as sarcastic or silly, im someone very entertaining and calming to be around with, i have a hard time taking everything seriously, and I find humor in pretty much, i also feel the urge to correct any faulty information, i also talk very differently with my words since some people say I use “BIG” words, for the most part I’m pretty chill— but what some would consider “repressed anger issues” and I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked.

I’m like the dad friend and I have a bad habit of being a therapist for my friends, i like to keep stuff with me when I go out like chapstick and some water bottles for my friends and me as well, i really like to make things for people I’m close with and that includes drawing stuff for them as well, i have a realllllyyy overactive brain. i tend to get really deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own to long, so I try to keep myself and mind occupied with stuff to distract me, i dream to become a lead singer for a vkei band, also I know 6 languages which are Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish and French

likes: vocaloid/utau, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), musicals, hotels, my friends, enstars (switchP + more), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, breaking bad, eddsworld, homestuck, horimiya, hxh, the great gatsby, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

dislikes: negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", and spiders (not Angel Dust, i love him sm)

also these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) yuno gasai (future diary), gojo satoru (jujutsu kaisen), kangel (needy streamer overdose), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose) urumi akamaki (alice in borderland) and more....!

merci beaucoup! أتمنى لك يومًا رائعًا!

(This is my first match up, i hope i did it right😭)

DANGANRONPA:

You would get along well with Hajime Hinata!

With your shared interests in manga, rhythm games and Vocaloid; you two could have never lasting conversations about your interests. Hajime’s reserved self and your initial awkwardness would quickly lead to a healthy friendship.

HAZBIN HOTEL:

You would be great with Alastor!

Your interest in anthropology, puppets and music would definitely intrigue him! He could find your chaotic humor amusing and both of you could bond over your artistic interests.

ALICE IN BORDERLAND:

In this chaotic world, I’d match you with Urumi Akmaki!

Your interests in anthropology and games would get her attention. Despite her mysterious and off nature, you being the dad and the therapist for your friends could force her to open up and share her feelings with you.

TBHK:

I’ll match you with no one other than Hanako!

Hanako’s mischievous and playful self could match with your humor and your love for making others smile! Your interest in supernatural could lead to entertaining conversations about spirits. He would also ask you to draw him. For sure.

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️

I wanna say tysm for doing my OC matchup request :D so I wanted to send other matchup request for myself! anyways may I request a Romantic Matchup for Oshi No Ko? 어쨌든, 시작하자!

my name is joey, i have autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD & BPD, im transgender (ftm), aromatic bisexual and unlabeled

appearance wise, im pretty midsize, im 5’6, white skinned, i have dyed black boy hair with bangs, hazel eyes, dark eyebags, piercings, i wear a lot of different styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome and kigurimin) scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, when I’m at home/work/school I wear Streetwear clothes such as baggy stuff and I also wear a lot of Y2K stuff too

I’m a Aquarius, an ENTP/INFP, 4w3 and Extroverted

My top interest is anime/manga, my other main interests are gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (including Vocal Synths! I’m a vocaloid producer and a regular one too), filmmaking, art(drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning instruments, learning languages, tabletop RPGs, rhythm games, cosplaying, watching documentaries, going on walks, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, dancing, science/history, and cooking, art is definitely my top main hobby rn, im dedicating a lot of time to it

Im usually awkward at first when I meet someone new, unless if I feel really comfortable or if I’m in a safe situation, when I’m comfortable with a person you CANNOT shut me up, I’ll be rambling about my interests and shit, i have a hard time communicating and understanding social cues due to my autism, my emotions come off as sarcastic or silly, im someone very entertaining and calming to be around with, i have a hard time taking everything seriously, and I find humor in pretty much, i also feel the urge to correct any faulty information, i also talk very differently with my words since some people say I use “BIG” words, for the most part I’m pretty chill— but what some would consider “repressed anger issues” and I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked.

I’m like the dad friend and I have a bad habit of being a therapist for my friends, i like to keep stuff with me when I go out like chapstick and some water bottles for my friends and me as well, i really like to make things for people I’m close with and that includes drawing stuff for them as well, i have a realllllyyy overactive brain. i tend to get really deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own to long, so I try to keep myself and mind occupied with stuff to distract me, i dream of becoming a vkei singer for a band, also I know 6 languages which are Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish and French

likes: vocaloid/utau, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), musicals, hotels, my friends, enstars (switchP + more), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, breaking bad, eddsworld, homestuck, horimiya, hxh, the great gatsby, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

dislikes: negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", and spiders

also these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) yuno gasai (future diary), gojo satoru (jujutsu kaisen), kangel (needy streamer overdose), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

merci beaucoup! أتمنى لك يومًا رائعًا!

We Interupt your regularly scheduled program for.......A MATCHUP TRADE WITH: @toyafreethoughts!!!!!!!!!!

Hihi thanks for doing this trade with me, also your welcome for your previous matchup it was a hard one but i had fun. Now DRUMROLL PLEASE!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

HOSHINO RUBY!!!

I think you and Ruby would compliment each other really well. You’re similar enough to match each other’s energy while also having your differences being able to bring out the best in the other person.

You two met when B Komichi was making its comeback with their new members. So far they had been using the songs from their predecessors to get by, but the strawberry productions knew they were gonna need to produce some new songs and soon: and that’s where you came in.

You see in this universe you were an up and coming composer. Creating songs using Vocolaid synthesizers (srry if the terms are wrong or this isn’t how it works i don’t know a whole lot about Vocolaid.) and uploading them to YouTube. Your songs would get hundreds of thousands of views within hours of them being uploaded.

One day you got an email from Strawberry productions on about a business proposal about being B Komichi’s new composer. Despite being nervous you took a leap of faith and accepted the offer. After a few meetings you were officially a member of Strawberry productions.

In order for you to produce songs that best fit the new B Komichi image, they decided to set designated time for you to spend with the girls one on one and then as a group. You were pretty shy so you mainly quietly observed the Kana and Mem and got them down pretty easy. The ones who really took you in for a loop was Ruby.

From the moment you met her she was so bubbly and energetic. Her friendly nature made it easier for you to come out of your shell and she tried to include you in everything and make you feel at home. You two would talk for hours about your interests especially the ones you shared and she would devote her full attention to you.

After working with the group for awhile and getting closer to them you started to notice something: a lot of your songs were made with Ruby in mind. This made you realize that you were falling in love with your coworker!

At first you started avoiding Ruby. You needed time to properly process your feelings and your overthinking tendencies made you believe that being romantically involved with her could ruin both your careers and that she would never go for a guy like you. Until one day she put an end to that and confronted you.

She was very concerned about you and missed your presence, however Ruby does have considerable emotional intelligence and could tell you didn’t wanna talk about it so she just told you that no matter what it was she would be there for you to make you smile.

Those words gave your the courage to confess. So you did what you knew best, you wrote her a song. You brought her alone one day after work when it was late and everyone had left. You sat her down, closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and sang your heart out to her.

When you were done you looked to her nervousness waiting for her reaction. What you didn’t expect was her to be crying. What you also didn’t expect is when you rushed over to her to check if she was ok, she jumped and hugged you squealing yes. And that’s the story of how you two became a couple.

Ruby always encourages you and is able to calm you down when you go into a spiral. She helps you in social situations and is always able to make you smile during bad days.

You take care of her when she forgets to take care of herself or when she gets a bit too reckless or has a particularly airheaded/ditzy moment. (Aqua approves of you because you protect her like he would).

Dates between you two consist of the following: late night anime or video game sessions, private karaoke nights, going to McDonalds at 4 am (although you will get scolded for it because “junk food will ruin Ruby’s idol figure”), and aquarium dates (just cause i feel like you would both like aquariums)

You and Ruby a good couple because you take care of each other in ways only the two of you can.

Thanks for doing this with me it was so fun and honestly i really like writing for oshi no ko. Hope you enjoy your match.

Runners Up: Ai Hoshino, Mem-Cho

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️

Hihihii!!! I hope ur cool if I send this request in right now to you :D so may I request a Platonic Matchup for banG dream and project sekai please? 어쨌든, 시작하자!

my name is joey, im 4teen, i have autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD & BPD, im transgender (ftm), aromatic bisexual and unlabeled

appearance wise, im pretty midsize, im 5’6, white skinned, i have dyed black boy hair with bangs, hazel eyes, dark eyebags, piercings, i wear a lot of different styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome and kigurimin) scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, when I’m at home/work/school I wear Streetwear clothes such as baggy stuff and I also wear a lot of Y2K stuff too

I’m a Aquarius, an ENTP/INFP, 4w3 and Extroverted

My top interest is anime/manga, my other main interests are gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (including Vocal Synths! I’m a vocaloid producer and a regular one too), filmmaking, art(drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning instruments, learning languages, tabletop RPGs, rhythm games, cosplaying, watching documentaries, going on walks, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, dancing, science/history, and cooking, art is definitely my top main hobby rn, im dedicating a lot of time to it

Im usually awkward at first when I meet someone new, unless if I feel really comfortable or if I’m in a safe situation, when I’m comfortable with a person you CANNOT shut me up, I’ll be rambling about my interests and shit, i have a hard time communicating and understanding social cues due to my autism, my emotions come off as sarcastic or silly, im someone very entertaining and calming to be around with, i have a hard time taking everything seriously, and I find humor in pretty much, i also feel the urge to correct any faulty information, i also talk very differently with my words since some people say I use “BIG” words, for the most part I’m pretty chill— but what some would consider “repressed anger issues” and I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked.

I’m like the dad friend and I have a bad habit of being a therapist for my friends, i like to keep stuff with me when I go out like chapstick and some water bottles for my friends and me as well, i really like to make things for people I’m close with and that includes drawing stuff for them as well, i have a realllllyyy overactive brain. i tend to get really deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own to long, so I try to keep myself and mind occupied with stuff to distract me, i dream to become a lead singer for a vkei band, also I know 6 languages which are Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish and French

likes: vocaloid/utau, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), musicals, hotels, my friends, enstars (switchP + more), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, breaking bad, eddsworld, homestuck, horimiya, hxh, the great gatsby, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

dislikes: negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", and spiders

also these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) yuno gasai (future diary), gojo satoru (jujutsu kaisen), kangel (needy streamer overdose), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose) urumi akamaki (Alice in borderland) verosika mayday (helluva boss) idia shroud (twisted wonderland) and more....!

merci beaucoup! أتمنى لك يومًا رائعًا!

hii! i hope you find these matchups are sufficient since it's my first time doing one of these. enjoy!

I match you with...

Mizuki Akiyama & Ena Shinonome!

-The three of you are a chaotic trio. They both appreciate you a lot even if they really don't show it. You help them a lot whether it be with mental health or just simple things.

-Mizuki loves your sense of style. They absolutely adore going out shopping with you and finding clothes. It's one of their favorite things to do with whenever you both hang out together.

-They also love to just talk with you, it truly doesn't matter about what. Mizuki loves to just sit and talk and join in if you happen to be making something.

-Ena loves to do art 'challenges' with you if you ever bring one up. She finds them enjoyable and you always make her feel better about her art if she thinks it's not up to her own standards.

-It's an enjoyable friend group and you three always have each others back no matter how much you mess with each other.

I match you with...

Reona (PAREO) Nyubara!

-She adores your style. It doesn't matter what you're wearing, you'll always be receiving compliments from her on your outfits. She thinks they're so unique and fit you so well!

-Reona also loves your rambling about whatever topic you're interested in. She'll listen to you for hours just because she gets excited about it as well!

-The amount of foreign languages you know surprises her and she always loves to hear them all. It's so interesting to her to hear so many different languages.

-She always wants to repay you for all the cute things you make her! She cherishes them all and has them in her room. She'll do her best to somehow repay you for how nice you are to her!

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

Here’s an assortment of HS doodles I’ve done in the past few days lol. HCs, shitposts, So Many Karkats (the state of my mind atm), and some more fallout radio lyrics (the BGM of my mind)

IDs under cut!

[ID: Ten pictures, traditionally done doodles in various colored markers, featuring various Homestuck characters, mostly Karkat Vantas. The artist would like to apologize in advance for what's going to be a long ID.

The first image is done mostly in red marker, and shows Karkat and Kankri, with various headcanons written around the page. In the order that makes the most sense, the notes read: "Appear most human in comparison to other trolls." ; "Rounder ears, nubby lil horns, blood (obvs), rounded teeth (-canines) ((like humans))" ; Regarding Karkat specifically: "Lil sideburns; anger is mostly farcical; so much baby fat; hair is more angular" ; Regarding Kankri specifically: "Bushier burns and more facial hair; repressing so much anger. Too much. Good god.; thinned out a bit, lanky; curlier hair, rounded out." A smaller doodle shows Kankri intimidatingly leaning over Karkat, saying, "Do you want me to kill him for you? tw: threats tw: violence," to which Karkat responds, all caps, with "What-". In black text, there are artist's notes and song lyrics, that read: "Homestuck???? In 2022??? Fuck!!" "And I'm still obsessed with the same lil guy," three arrows pointing to Karkat, and finally, "It's a sin alright!!"

The second image shows the Signless, drawn in red marker, smiling affectionately, holding his head in one of his hands. There are two small red hearts, and the cancer symbol. In black marker are more song lyrics, "Ain't that a kick in the head?"

The third image shows the artists self-insert, drawn in orange, and Karkat, drawn in warm gray. The self-insert is patting Karkat's head, smiling and singing, "You're a stinky baby~." Karkat looks annoyed, with a thought bubble next to him that just says "WTAF."

The fourth image is Karkat again, drawn in warm gray. His shoulders are hunched and he's angrily crying red tears, yelling out, "Fuck you! Fuck you!! Fuck you!!!" He appears to be trembling.

The fifth image shows Karkat, Kankri, the Signless, and Beforus Karkat. The Signless is affectionately resting his head on Kankri, who is affectionately resting his head on Karkat. Karkat looks annoyed off panel, saying, "Dave. Help." Off panel, Dave says, "Man c'mon, this is cute as fuck." Beforus Karkat looks on from a distance. Below is a continuation of this doodle, where Beforus Karkat yells out, "He doesn't want to be touched, assholes!!" Both Kankri and the Signless back off, the Signless saying, "Oh, sorry lovey!", Kankri saying, "Karkat, you should have told me I was upsetting you-" while Karkat looks back at Beforus Karkat and yells out, "Thank you!!"

The sixth image shows Beforus Karkat, drawn in a cool gray, affectionately coddling Karkat, drawn in warm gray. Beforus Karkat appears neutral in expression, petting the top of Karkat's head. Karkat is smiling softly, giving a little peace symbol with his right hand. A note written in black marker reads, "Finally. Two Karkats. And they care each other."

The seventh image is done in pencil rather than marker, seemingly on a worksheet. It's a meme redraw with Karkat and an Among Us bean looking down from the top of a building. Karkat is saying, "Are you seeing this, Mongus from Among Us?" The bean is nodding their head.

The eighth image is of Karkat drawn in warm gray again. He's looking down at the viewer, sickle raised above his head, with the caption, "*kills you*" next to him. I think I was referencing a meme, but I can't recall exactly which one. It's meant to be humorous.

The ninth and tenth images are related. The first shows Karkat, drawn in warm gray, and Kanaya, drawn in dark green. Karkat is pretty much a blob in the background, but appears to be upset, crying, while Kanaya looks annoyed in the foreground. Karkat is saying, "Kanaya, I frew up! :(", and Kanaya is just thinking, "God." The image after shows a similar scene, but Karkat is now in the foreground, annoyed expression on his face, and Gamzee, drawn in purple, seemingly upset, is in the background. Gamzee says, "Hey Kar. I threw up. Honk. :o(", and Karkat thinks, "God. I get it now, Kanaya. I get it."

END ID.]

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️

i saw you posted a matchup and I wanted to send one in :D so may I request a Platonic Matchup for Genshin Impact? 어쨌든, 시작하자!

my name is joey, im 4teen, i have autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD & BPD, im transgender (ftm), aromatic bisexual and unlabeled

appearance wise, im pretty midsize, im 5’6, white skinned, i have dyed black boy hair with bangs, hazel eyes, dark eyebags, piercings, i wear a lot of different styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome and kigurimin) scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, when I’m at home/work/school I wear Streetwear clothes such as baggy stuff and I also wear a lot of Y2K too

I’m a Aquarius, an ENTP/INFP, 4w3 and Extroverted

My top interest is anime/manga, my other main interests are gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (including Vocal Synths! I’m a vocaloid producer and a regular one too), filmmaking, art(drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning instruments, learning languages, tabletop RPGs, rhythm games, cosplaying, watching documentaries, going on walks, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, dancing, science/history, and cooking, art is definitely my top main hobby rn, im dedicating a lot of time to it

Im usually awkward at first when I meet someone new, unless if I feel really comfortable or if I’m in a safe situation, when I’m comfortable with a person you CANNOT shut me up, I’ll be rambling about my interests and shit, i have a hard time communicating and understanding social cues due to my autism, my emotions come off as sarcastic or silly, im someone very entertaining and calming to be around with, i have a hard time taking everything seriously, and I find humor in pretty much, i also feel the urge to correct any faulty information, i also talk very differently with my words since some people say I use “BIG” words, for the most part I’m pretty chill— but what some would consider “repressed anger issues” and I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked.

I’m like the dad friend and I have a bad habit of being a therapist for my friends, i like to keep stuff with me when I go out like chapstick and some water bottles for my friends and me as well, i really like to make things for people I’m close with and that includes drawing stuff for them as well, i have a realllllyyy overactive brain. i tend to get really deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own to long, so I try to keep myself and mind occupied with stuff to distract me, also I know 6 languages which are Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish and French

likes: vocaloid/utau, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), musicals, hotels, my friends, enstars (switchP + more), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, breaking bad, eddsworld, homestuck, horimiya, hxh, the great gatsby, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

dislikes: negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", and spiders

also these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) yuno gasai (future diary), gojo satoru (jujutsu kaisen), kangel (needy streamer overdose), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

merci beaucoup! أتمنى لك يومًا رائعًا!

YOUR MATCHUP IS . . . FISCHL !

omg i saw your matchup and i was like omg he just like me fr 😭 BUT ANYWAYS ONTO THE MATCHUP !! i’m platonically matching you w one of my favs mwahahaha

i could definitely see you two being good friends! fischl also dresses in darker clothes (and she would definitely be interested in fashion subcultures) so you two could bond over that.

i see fischl as being neurodivergent (i’m also on that spectrum so i see a lot of that in her) so i think you both have that in common! she’s understanding of the fact that you don’t understand social cues sometimes (she can be the same way for sure!).

you and fischl both share the same enneagram (and possibly the same mbti!) so you’re quite similar in that regard! since fischl has a very enigmatic personality and enjoys playing roles, i see her as someone who would also enjoy games like RPGS and cosplay and things of that nature.

she also definitely respects all the skills that you have! she uses a lot of german phrases and words so it is implied that she can speak that as well? so since you like learning languages, i think she’d be able to teach it to you! and you might be able to teach her some of the languages you know as well!

overall, you both are somewhat eccentric and unique people, and i think you could both become great friends!

thank you for requesting !! <3

Headcanon Anon here with the kids' individual senses of humor!

John-Zany, prank-filled, with slapstick! Not out to hurt anyone's feelings, just mildly annoy/confuse strangers and friends and family.

Rose-Snark, dark humor, casually intrusive wordplay. Has a hidden goofy side that only friends know about but likes to present herself as a Rule 63 Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files with an even worse sense of humor.

Dave-Anti-humor with rambling monologues and left-fielders galore. Probably went to sleep watching Tim & Eric and would get along great with Neil Hamburger.

Jade-Loves math humor and feghoots; actually likes to work for her laughs, the poor soul (Remember, she is canonically able to make Kanaya laugh so make of that what you will.)

Terezi-Sick, distressing, prank-filled sense of humor that's a dark mirror of John's. Basically swears by the healing power of schadenfreude. Could take Eric Andre's desk in a heartbeat.

Kanaya-Morbid, literalist sense of humor. So dry that most people don't tend to know if she's joking or not.

Tavros-Self-deprecating, surprisingly dark at times sense of humor. Casually mocks any unfortunate events that befall him, regardless of the seriousness.

Karkat-Wants to come off as serious but likes it when people show dedication to a joke, like H Jon Benjamin's jazz piano album.

Sollux-Loves snarking and loves being snarked at. Is also partial to particularly negative reviews of things as long as it doesn't rely on shouting and obvious bias.

Feferi-Very juvenile sense of humor with a love of puns, toilet humor and bring up sexual topics in non-sexual situations. Giggles everytime at the "hide under there/under where?" gag.

Eridan-Not really a laugher but does chuckle at hearing a good pun every once in a while.

Nepeta-Loves her puns and her small pranks like hiding kills in friend's pillows. Thinks pushing cups off tables is the height of comedy.

Equius-Enjoys gentlemanly Oscar Wilde-esque snark; also enjoys his share of puns.

Meenah-Loves puns, pain, people being in pain, breaking stuff, and Aranea's long-winded shaggy dog stories. She'll kill you if you tell anyone the last part though.

Vriska-No sense of humor. Does funny things, says funny stuff but has no timing, can't tell a joke to save her life and hates comedies.

Jane-Loves sitcoms, one-liners from detective dramas and verbal bathos.

Jake-Loves one-liners and pratfalls. As well as the good ribbing from any of his friends.

Roxy-Loves pranks, flirtations (even more than Rose, believe it or not) and coding humor.

Dirk-Very dark sense of humor and loves to keep people in the dark about how serious he is about any given topic; he likes it even more when even he doesn't know (re: his MLP obsession)

Aradia-Twisted sense of humor almost as dark as Dirk's; believes nothing's off the table and will only stop when her target audience tells her to, nothing more, nothing less.

Gamzee-Loves bad jokes and stupid sounds; will probably laugh at a joke without you having to finish it.

Damara-Sexual humor is her main weapon and everything is looking like a target; will do anything outside of actual battery to make her target uncomfortable.

Rufioh-Has a wide range of humor but seems to prefer observational comedy.

.

SAM are you reading any good solkat/davekat fics lately 👀

i am!! hold up heres a couple

first off insert jesus allegory here by quinn @/thatneoncrisis is honest to god one of my favorite solkat fics i have that shit in my brain 24/7 its essentially a pesterquest continuation if karkat took sollux up on his offer to help and it gets really sweet and kind of gay lmao

what kind of asshole drives a lotus? makes me cry on the daily theres something about this writing style that makes me shed tears on the sheer tenderness and intimacy of it all PLUS it has enemies/friends/lovers AND fake relationship ugh its so good

kindling by measure by @/acedavestrider makes me SO happy it has god karkat and mortal dave and such aus always make me scared because what if one of them dies!! one is a god!! but i think this fic alone made me adore the concept the worldbuilding and pacing are absolutely beautiful and god the slowburn. you will not be disappointed

dewshi has a couple GREAT davekat fics continuing rn for you to check out lmao my personal favorite is a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, full of dead people which. oh god how do i describe it its really sad at first but it gets so good later on its ghost karkat im a;kfdadsklfjasld its good!!! its so gd good and theres also boreas and im only reccing this because every fucking chapter made me cry and sometimes you have to get. some feelings out okay ive read a lot of books and so many of them never really strike me when they write about grief and whether you attribute that to my having known 5 people who died and my overall desensitization to that or just me being kind of an insensitive asshole idk thats really up to you im just saying this fic captures that feeling really well for me

friendly neighborhood rap god is you fucking guessed it a spiderman au with davekat and now im thinking about my miles spiderverse dave meta okay god the domestic davekat here is really sweet it makes me happy though do read the tags because it does deal with alot of sensitive themes and the author does a p good job of tagging them i think

and then alternate universe by unda what a fucking epic i mean that in the wordcount and descriptory way this also has levels of slowburn that had me crying in pain and the worldbuilding is fantastic!! especially with the added humor of this being a modern magic au and magic essentially being like different coding languages lmao its davesolkat and its pretty fucking good lmao

Aside Glance: The Palpable Absence of the Dubiously Canonical

So you might have noticed throughout my writings that I have at the same time avoided directly talking about any of the expanded universe material while also occasionally alluding to it just enough to make it noticeable. At least, probably.

So to nobody’s surprise, let me say;

I don’t like the Homestuck Epilogues.

Before I dig into why, I wanna dig out what I think I actually do like about the Homestuck Epilogues. CW: for mentions of suicide, sexual violence, fascism, genocide, etc. Spoiler Warning for the Homestuck Epilogues, although if you haven’t read them by now, good; don’t. Keep reading for my thoughts on the Epilogues.

I do like that the Homestuck Epilogues say quite loudly and clearly that Fascism Is Terrible, and that Neo-Liberals are often Discount Fascists at best in terms of the material effects they have on the world that we have to share with them. They can often end up being interchangeable, and events can cause someone with a temperament predisposed toward Neo-liberalism down the path of bloody reactionary sentiment the way it did with Jane.

Homestuck has always been a pretty soundly anti-authoritarian work, and pretty aggressively contemporary work, so it makes sense that Homestuck^2 would reflect an internet culture rabidly obsessing about the politics of the Trump-Era United States, cast its villains as parallels to the Trump Administration, the grody religious movements it catered to, and the hyper-rich dingalings who benefited from it.

I do like that the Homestuck Epilogues develop the theme of criticizing the author and continues to call attention to its narrators, this time by explicitly casting them as villainous, and morally ambiguous/incomprehensible respectively. A central idea in Homestuck is the relationship between Author, Audience, and Characters, and the blending of the lines between them.

I like that it calls attention not just to the idea that a story’s narrator is an agent themselves, but also to the reality that the narrator may not have the best interests of either their readers, or their characters in mind. I like that the authorial powers of these characters are represented as overtly dangerous and evil when they are addressed at all.

I also like that the Homestuck Epilogues are rather brutally honest about the fact that sometimes, the people that you grew up with - your close friends - grow apart from you, and turn into kind of bad people. I’ve watched that happen in real time, and have had to stop hanging out with people because they just kind of... turned evil. That’s something that needs to be discussed more in fiction, and more honestly than the usual way. When the most visible example of like, someone you knew and loved turning into a bad person is like, Anakin Skywalker, maybe the world needs more stories about that.

So good, that’s what we’ve got for things I think were good to say. Well done.

What don’t I like about the Homestuck Epilogues?

In a word, I think, they are cruel. Relentlessly cruel. Even actively malicious.

Homestuck has, of course, always been rather mean-spirited and adversarial, pretty much since page one. And really, so has Andrew’s writing in general, since the days when he ran the site Team Special Olympics. His humor walks a fine line between and outrageous and genuinely offensive, as he dares you to say, “That’s fucked up!” so he can respond “it was just a joke, where’s your sense of humor?”

But the Epilogues transcend the usual sardonic envelope-pushing we can usually count on Andrew for, and instead opt to sink their teeth into the readers in an assault on the senses, and on the sensibilities. Reading the Epilogues is a brutal experience to endure emotionally, and in a lot of places, morally offensive.

And they are this way practically from the first page; our very first impression of the Homestuck Epilogues is a content warning that presents itself in such a way as to be almost unmistakably parodic. The stylization as an AO3 work, particularly in the context of Homestuck, where these sorts of overzealous content warning pages are associated with preachy jerks like Kankri, it comes across as a direct challenge to the viewer, and by a challenge, I really mean an attack. It is a mean-spirited joke at the expense of people who have a desire to curate their media experience - and then the authors have the gall to say that the one of the goals of the Epilogues is to challenge people to curate their media more.

Every time a character could conceivably make a bad decision, or become a more ill-conceived version of themselves, they somehow manage it, which becomes all the more unbearable because of the identification of character and audience that has been the case throughout all of Homestuck. If Homestuck introduces us to this entire cast and says, this is you, the Epilogues seem to follow up with and there is nothing good about you. Jade Harley somehow transforms into a grotesque caricature of a trans-woman, a girl who is sexually incontinent and predatory in a way that is directly tied to her having a dog penis - a state of being which the text variously slut-shames her for in Meat, or alternatively uses to blame her for ruining Dave and Karkat’s relationship in Candy.

John Egbert is severely depressed and dysfunctional, and this leads him either to go off and kill Lord English to chase the thrill of adventure and his own sense of purpose (in direct opposition to the all-but-explicitly-stated takeaway from Homestuck which Dave gives us, that the better option is to just leave the story alone altogether - explicitly the worst decision he could make according to the rules of Homestuck) or descend into decades of nihilistic solipsism while the world disintegrates around him.

Dirk’s worst natures take over him and transform him into a person who can only conceivably be satisfied either by becoming an arch-villain, or by murdering himself.

The Epilogues are aggressively cruel to Jake English, choosing to double down on the lack of emotional resolution he suffered from at the end of Homestuck, and squarely placing the blame for his own misery on his own shoulders, in a way which is pretty hard to read around, which is part and parcel of the general malice which Homestuck has historically treated mentally ill characters with. Nearly all the kids in Homestuck have suffered incomprehensible levels of mental and physical abuse, and the text expects them to simply overcome it sheerly by force of will. Sure, Jake is miserable but it’s his own fault, the text seems to say; if he’d just get his act together, like Dave, maybe he could get on with his life without being mind-broken by Dirk, or raped and whipped by Jane.

This isn’t even to delve into the flagship reveal of Homestuck 2, that Rose and Jade in the Candy Timeline have not only had a daughter of their own (without telling Kanaya), but that furthermore they have replicated their own trauma in her. Rose and Jade’s daughter has grown up completely emotionally alone, in the care of her Moms’ archenemy.

The point in all of this is not that the Epilogues have made everyone behave out of character or anything like that - I think it’s clear after a re-read especially that all of this is a conceivable direction that these characters could have taken. Rather, the Epilogues reliably choose to believe the worst of the characters of Homestuck in terms of their writing decisions. Everyone always makes the worst decision that they could make, or at the very least, nearly the worst. And because of the identification of reader and character, we can’t help but take away from that a sense that this is what the authors think of us as well.

And in case it wasn’t stated explicitly enough, a running theme throughout the Epilogues is that all this conflict and badness taking place is, to some extent or another, because we the audience are looking at it. As Andrew stated in relation to the Epilogues, there’s a kind of Happily Ever After possibility bubble around the characters that intrinsically collapses into conflict the moment we observe the events again - in other words, by participating in a story, we the audience members are somehow complicit in the characters’ suffering. Yet not all stories must be driven by conflict - and who triumphs and who fails in that conflict says a lot about what a story has to say about real life.

The Epilogues engage in a kind of voyeuristic cruelty, a kind of pessimism and cynicism, a kind of relentless ugliness that I have seldom seen, and to what end? The whole thing seems to me an attack on the audience.

Aside from general, abstracted claims toward authorial intent (which I think is there), I also want to say that, I can’t emotionally engage with the Epilogues, for a personal reason; as somebody who has struggled with almost daily suicidal ideation for most of my adult life, the way that the Epilogues deal with that subject goes from troubling to malicious and hostile in its treatment of Dirk’s suicide.

And staying personal, while I haven’t had to deal with some of the other sensitive topics that the Epilogues handle recklessly, handle them recklessly they do - Jake is serially raped by Jane, and in a way that he serves as a vehicle to move the plot forward, rather than with any kind of compassion for Jake’s condition. The possibility that Tavros Crocker might be being molested by Gamzee is brought up flippantly in one scene and played off as a joke.

The Homestuck Epilogues play at maturity through handling dark themes and sensitive topics, and reveal a profound immaturity in their authors because of the ways in which they are cruelly, insensitively handled over and over again.

I guess I’ll close with the least egregious thing. The Homestuck Epilogues just aren’t funny. Even at its bleakest, Homestuck has always been funny. In their relentless pursuit of cruelty, and the shared misery of their audience and characters, the Homestuck Epilogues forgo even this most basic element of Homestuck, which Andrew has always described as being basically a comedy.

Anyway; I will not be doing a thorough analysis of the Epilogues. I hate them too much and they suck.

[ID: two homestuck chatlog screenshots from early act 6 intermission 1. edited mildly for screenreader clarity they read:

1. ROSE: We will then pilot this meteor as fast as we can make it go in that exact direction. SOLLUX: what's that way? ROSE: Nothing whatsoever. As of now, that way lies darkness and uncertainty beyond description. KANAYA: I See. Then Perhaps We Should Reserve The Infinite Darkness Plan For The Maybe Column For Now. I Think Im Even Willing To Let Dave Take A Crack At The Logistics Before We Commit To That Particular Maneuver Daring Though It Sounds DAVE: aw yeah, i got sicknasty logistics up my sleeve, i just call them stics fyi which is how you know im way savvy about them, most of the stics im fine tuning atm involve rap though i should warn you. but dave what if that dope as hell plan falls through i can hear you ask. plan b, involves drawing some shitty cartoons, and not giving a fuck about stuff. TEREZI: >8D. I hereby second this cool dude’s radical motion on grounds of ridiculously decadent attire. KANAYA: Yes Im Willing To Humor Elaboration On This Rap Centric Plan And Its Apathy Based Contingencies. Even If Its Excessively Stupid. ROSE: Trust me, it is.

2. KANAYA: ... ROSE: Can you please come? Between the two of us, you with your inexplicably heretofore unmentioned phosphorescence, and I with my nigh-reflective traffic cone orange sun-sari, the meteor should never be too dark. KARKAT: (sollux, oh my god is it me or is everybody already just fucking hitting on each other left and right? oh god i can't take sweeps of this shit, don't leave me alone here, please don't) SOLLUX: ehehehehe. KANAYA: Well. All Right. /end ID]

rosed mary...

@overtrolled-liveblog‘s recent post on Gamzee made me realize that Gamzee’s first interaction with Terezi (Terezi attempting to hurt Gamzee and being angry when he doesn’t react) is also the basic dynamic of Terezi’s ill-fated attempt to “avenge” herself upon Gamzee around Game Over. I never understood why Terezi’s was manifesting for Gamzee in that interaction, but the repetition seems like a good lead. So here’s an attempt:

Aranea’s mind control is being juxtaposed with whatever allowed Gamzee to maintain his composure in Act 5. Sopor is an obvious candidate, as is his general early interest in avoiding conflict, but there might be something else to it...

2018. When Gamzee remarks (in the narration) that "it is dangerous to leave unarmed", the commentary has this to say: "It's probably not actually that dangerous to leave unarmed. This was probably something his goat dad told him a long time ago. But only to scare him, and make sure he stayed inside so no one would ever see him, because he was so embarrassed by him. Goatdad is probably one of the most sympathetic characters in the story. If Gamzee was your son, wouldn't you abandon him too?" Glib dismissal, veering sharply into needless cruelty. But it nonetheless draws attention to the narration's unreliability, moored as it is to Gamzee's POV.

2017. Speaking of unreliable: "You aren't supposed to eat that slime. It does funny things to a troll's head. // But you were never taught that on account of a lousy upbringing. Your custodian was always out to sea." Gamzee is evidently thinking the very thing he was never taught, but he attributes that thought to a higher power (the narrator) and thereby pleads ignorance of it? Or it could be read as an expression of shame: as Gamzee eats his pie, he imagines a stern voice admonishing him from over his shoulder. OR you might more literally parse the contradiction as the voice of two separate Gamzees sharing the brain space in some kind of daze...or you could call it simple memory loss. These are inclusive ors, btw.

2019. Anyway, Gamzee reaches the beach and we get this line: "You leave your hive and head out to the beach. There is no sign of your custodian. // You should not stay out here very long. The SEA DWELLERS are quite hostile." Commentary on his custodian's absence, followed by a voice of authoritative behavioral cautioning, as though a guardian were living in Gamzee's head. Immediately following this, Terezi manifests for Gamzee, though he doesn't answer immediately... so I suspect Terezi's manifestation will be an elaboration this internal division?

2020: "You're always down for shooting the wicked shit with anyone that who'll put up with you." Man... Act 5 is misery. The Miracle Modus is a picture of Gamzee's brain being fried to a point of being nearly inaccessible. Vivid flashing colors (like Jade's rich scents) are a mark of unfiltered EXPERIENCE sans language/reason (which is probably why Lord English's eyes are flashing), but here that means disorientation -- difficulty organizing sense experience...

2022: Gamzee says a prayer and Faygo gets launched out of his sylladex... is the Faygo the prayer? Jane launched wishes into the sky with the balloons on LOCAH -- but the balloon shape was inverted and transformed into Gamzee's bottles of "potion"... that association seems to be expressed more concisely here. Jane's case was also related to decapitation motifs, which I don't really see with Gamzee here... (aside from Terezi's general association with going for the neck) But at any rate, what is he wishing for?

2023. Gamzee standing in front of his sylladex is getting to me, even more so that his reaching into the sylladex. You are not SUPPOSED to be on that layer of the image. What are you doing. Is that safe? Are you okay?

2024. The conversation itself...continues to evade summarization. I'm going to just describe it piece-by-piece and see if I get anywhere.

Terezi deliberately misspells Gamzee's name in service of a joke: from 'gamzeez' to 'gamezez', highlighting its phonetic proximity to 'games'. Though I wonder if this disguises another sort of exchange: Gamzee goes down to the beach to find his dad, but instead finds Terezi. I'm humoring the idea that she is effectively functioning as the fatherly authority in Goatdad's place. But as the preceding panels indicates, that very notion of authority occupies a place in Gamzee's head that he remains somewhat...detached from? If Terezi gives voice to this aspect of Gamzee, the word blurring could obfuscate that she is saying "Gamzee" /twice/, such that her invitation to play games is an offer for Gamzee to pilot himself? (Which in the parent:child::head:body paradigm is not entirely ridiculous?)

Come to think of it, this is the second time Terezi has harassed someone on a waterfront (hi, Rose) and even then main subjects were a) haha your guardian abandoned you because you're terrible and b) a sense of hearing imploring voices in your head...

Terezi implies that she doesn't like Gamzee and is only inviting him in service of a joke. Gamzee ignores the ulterior message and accepts the given reason as justifiable... after which Terezi gets angry. But she doesn't seem angry that the implication was misunderstood (and her disdain ignored) but is rather angry that the arbitrariness of his selection wasn't itself objectionable -- /after/ which she confirms her own disdain by saying "no wonder Vantas can't stand you". The motivation for the joke became the effect of the joke...

"BUT WHO C4R3S 4BOUT H1M, W3R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 SOM3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG SH1TTY B1TCH3S PL4Y1NG TOG3TH3R!" as Rose said, "Still not sure if I'm being courted or trolled here." Terezi is making fun of how Gamzee talks but nonetheless seems to be attempting to bond with him here...?

With "keeping an eye out" and "you know how it is with family" back-to-back with Terezi's aggression, it kind of feels like Gamzee is likewise (successfully) attempting to bother Terezi... but his defense is his forgetfulness, like a taboo subject just slipped... the same is true of Gamzee's claim that he was never taught that sopor is dangerous, the legitimacy of which depends on Gamzee forgetting?

"The Bard of... fuck, i forgot" is literally a joke on Gamzee "forgetting" his way around anger and aggression, by way of the omission of Rage? Also, it's a generic phrase but John uses 'fuck i forgot' when reminded of his birthday in the Epilogues... topic of birthdays is significant since Gamzee parses his state of mind as 'spacing out' and 'losing track of time' -- a birthday is, in that context, a reminder of time's progression.

Twice in Gamzee's conversation he asks Terezi for a little bit more time before he plays the game with her. This again reminds us of Rose's procrastination -- which among other things represents a deferral of encounter with the Truth, again bringing us to forgetting. 

2028. But interestingly enough, the motif of procrastination continues in the section with Karkat that follows: Karkat expresses apprehension about meeting his guardian before the narrative segues to Terezi, which is structurally resonant with Gamzee going to the beach for his guardian, only to find Terezi? Which again associates her with unseen authority figures... 

Oh shoot, and the panel cuts from Karkat looking down through the hole in his floor to a low-angle shot of Terezi's skylight? As though she were below like crabdad. That seals it for me.

2030. Actually, I mentioned how Gamzee's flashing modus is related to the unmediated sensory bouquet that Lord English sees ALL THE TIME by having flashing eyes, but Terezi's room? Is set up to be exactly that sensory bouquet, all the time, with loud colors plastered and mixed haphazardly. I've mostly focused on Terezi's relation to English by way of their shared association with the Law (x)(x) but this is a fresh angle...

And since it becomes apparent that the scenes that /follow/ Gamzee's conversation inform the way it should be read, I would be remiss to exclude the Karkat/Sollux conversation between the Gamzee and Terezi sections... in which the ~ATH (til death) code is brought up, which proves central to Lord English's creation.

2026. "later on you would run this code in a fit of stupidity." Creepy! I always assume the narration to be bound to the present tense, like the character's POV, so this sudden interruption from the future is really unnerving. How does Karkat know this? Is that just a miserable self-assessment, like he knows he'll harm himself when he gets worked up? Is this Karkat planning to curse everyone, but renouncing his decision as a product of fate? I feel like this confusion nicely complements the paradoxical ~ATH code on screen (Sollux's double reacharound virus)

2027. "Speak of the devil" Sollux has manifested for Karkat... yeah I still can't make sense of this as far as manifestation goes. BUT I think the fact that chatlogs are likewise two-colored might mean that Sollux and Karkat's conversation is in some sense analogous to the code...? The architecture of the conversation is... accusing eachother of self-loathing and then agreeing upon mutual self-destruction (of the conversational log), which at least superficially resembles a program that exists to destroy itself and the medium in which it resides? Maybe...

Shot in the dark: the (much procrastinated) march unto Truth is a march unto Judgement, which means both God and Death. Thus Gamzee (the procrastinator who avoids truth) transitions to Karkat/Sollux (vaguely suicidal gesture in their conversation) transitions to Terezi (judge and executioner, associated with ultimate authority and thus God). That's my best assessment of the proceedings thus far.

homestuck tiktok au part 1: feferi peixes

hc lists for everyone’s place in this universe will come soon.

disclaimer: i don’t have tiktok. i’ve never had tiktok. i don’t even have a phone. i don’t know anything about tiktokkers. why, you might ask, then, am i doing a tiktok au? simple. yearning.

Feferi Peixes

-Actual tiktok star

- she was a swimmer, and raised quite publicly as the heiress of a megacorporation during the internet age, so she’s very graceful, something that shows in tiktok dances.

-17, does some studying/get ready for school with me style vlogs

-a lot of her fans are very invested in the “love triangle” between her, Eridan Ampora (18, younger brother of tiktok star Cronus Ampora and semi-famous youtube commentator) and Sollux Captor (18, twitch streamer, known for edgy humor and pvp skill)

-very very positive about meeting fans, refers to her fans as her “bubble guppies”

-for a video once, she dyed the ends of her hair pink

-creator of the “#loveurbodybikinichallenge”, a challenge meant to spread body positivity where you wear a bikini and do something fun while lip-syncing to the song “girls in bikinis” by poppy. her original video was her roller-skating backwards down a beach boardwalk in a dark pink bikini top (one of the ones with a ruffle in the front and a tie at the back of the neck) and gold-studded denim shorts holding a boombox playing the song. impressively, she did not fall.

-occasionally makes appearances in sollux’s videos. in one, she hands out cuttlefish plushies to people while telling them terrifying facts about the ocean. she plays minecraft with him in a few. once, she dyes all his sheep magenta with  the help of eridan and karkat.

-she guest stars in one of eridan’s videos about the ways that ocean conservation gets derailed by pop culture, however she is mentioned or alluded to whenever eridan talks about how he refuses to react to tiktok cringe.

-she posts photos with them on instagram often, as well as them occasionally being in her tiktoks- mainly of her pulling pranks on them, but she did convince both of them once to do a tiktok dance with her.

-she owns a hydroflask (magenta with stickers) and a kanken backpack in the shade dahlia.

-she wears a lot of scrunchies, mostly in shades of pink, although she has been spotted with a purple one or one half-red and half-blue.

-kind of a vsco girl.

-has one of those custom-made silicone mermaid tails (in magenta with green accents) and does videos in it in the ocean and in her pool.

-tries to raise publicity for her local rehabilitation aquarium by filming there a lot.

-talks about fishing waste in the ocean as one of the main focuses of enviromental activism.

-has a few collabs with roxy lalonde, something that eridan was unhappy about, due to his feud with roxy’s sister.

hiya! i was wondering if i could get assigned a classpect / lunar sway / blood caste? i’m an ENxP (T/F = 50/50) 4w3 468. i’m daydreamy and believe in the impossible and destiny as well. the stuff i daydream about is usually self ship kinda stuff. i tend to be blunt and outspoken to those i trust and am a people pleaser to those i don’t. i hate being left in the dark about things, like i gotta know ya know? which is more meddlesome than anything else. i’m a very bad worrier/anxious as frick. i have also been described as “over sensitive, annoying and whiny”. sometimes i really think that in a past life i was 100% royalty due to certain aspects of myself. i’m very much focused on my image and how others view me and will frequently worry about it and adapt myself to fit how they’d like me to be. i also notice i have an equal amount of ego and self hatred. i am extremely talkative (especially over text). i can be nosey and give unwanted advice sometimes. i tend to be very detached from the outside world and i accidentally isolate myself sometimes even though i love being around people. anyways, i can be overreactive/argumentative. i have a habit of making people do stuff for me which yeah isn’t good i know. i’m also a bit of a pushover and in school would frequently just allow myself to be treated badly. but it doesn’t bother me too much i luckily just am detached to my past pain until i think about it. (again) in school i was always the jokester and never did my work and wanted to play around instead and that still is a problem to this day. (i only ever did that with friends i was extremely close to. every other class i was quiet and isolated myself away from people) which brings me to the thing of humor being a huge part of my personality. i LOVE comedy (which makes stuff like marvel movies my favorite instead of the dark and dreary dc) and i often use humor to cope with things. like example: joking about wizard of oz while the threat of an ef3 tornado literally wrecking my metaphorical shit was very possible, i was like 11 at the time. i also love pranking people and playing around with them. now onto likes n stuff: i love the supernatural, angels/wings, fashion, cosplay, music, history, art, theories, and aesthetics. i really love the wind and feel very much connected to it. (same with angels and stuff related to that) an aesthetic i’m very connected to is the empty dark blue cloudy morning aesthetic. specifically in the mid-2000s. idk why but it’s just,, me. oh!! a thing i noticed is i accidentally just copy other people’s/character’s personalities. which could be very much related to other stuff but yeah. some hs kins to throw out there are: dirk strider, june egbert, and karkat vantas. someone who i act a lot like but refuse to say i kin him is: jake english. i have more i could go on and on about myself but i don’t want to burden you with all of that. also i’m really sorry if this is a lot. if it’s too much you can just delete it. - 🐇

Hello, thanks for asking! You appear to be a Prospit dreamer and fuchsia blood. As for your classpect, there are three main ones I would consider - Heir of Hope, Sylph of Breath or Sylph of Space. You may also want to consider Page rather than Sylph. This would make you either a Pinius, Pius or Pigo. 

Heir of Hope is likely due to your belief in the impossible, focus on daydreams and attempt to turn negative situations into positive ones via humour. There are also various forms of Hope symbolism important to you, you have various common Hope traits, and being an Heir could explain some of your Breath/Space traits. 

However, you may want to consider Sylph/Page of Breath/Space as you also appear to often either create or serve distance for yourself. Some of your traits are also typical of those of Sylphs and Pages. Breath symbolism is also important to you, and creativity and destiny are also both parts of Space.

Ultimately, ask yourself which is more important in your life or appears to have a greater presence. Perhaps see which aspect the advice you give lines up with more often or what appears to define you more. If the answer is Breath or Space, to determine between Sylph or Page, ask yourself if it feels more like you serve or create the aspect for yourself/others - do you give what is already there (Page) or do you have to make it yourself (Sylph)?

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask any follow up questions. ^^

Yay, 72!~

It suddenly occurs to me that Davepeta becoming a thing might not have only been the logical conclusion of ARquiusprite being included in Lord English (thus allowing Dave and Nepeta to confront their Bro and Equius in destined combat/pacification), but also possibly a reference to Dave’s fursona,  Akwete Purrmusk, whom he once used to RP with Nepeta after first being unable to utilize it with Jade?          Just a weird and sudden though that occurred to me at the end of my last post.  I thought it would be preferable to leave the “Do:” as the last note of said previous page, though.

I am in fact reasonably sure it could technically qualify as the one you grew up with.   That said... awwww, that’s not nice, taking Gamzee away before the battle rather than after/during its tail end.   That means that Gamzee that took place in it lost his conditional mortality and almost certainly just died in the world explosion/black hole.   What a cruel thing to DOOM him to. v.v

I remember this.  Also:  Maybe he hadn’t. At least, not in a non-romantic way.  I certainly can’t remember such an occurrence. 

Oh, umm... is this supposed to have been a reference to him being part of Lord English all along?  Man. There goes another joke flying above all of our heads. Wow.

Yeah. You go back to being too cool for school, not-yet-a-villain!Dirk. Nothing to see here.

Well. That’s an interesting trick. Very magician-like. Almost Houdini-ish. 

I suddenly wonder if Calliope has a sense of smell.   More importantly, gah, I know that smell. Not pretty.  John really should have thought this through more.

Awww. Him having wheezes mixed in there along with coughs is not a good thing. Not very nice or silly at all.   >:

On the other hand, his boos and hoos work very well with the honks, and fit with his Comedy/Tragedy persona duality.  “Sob” being mixed in is a mixed bag, but oh well.    Anyway, his being rescued and treated kindly by Calliope, here, sortof makes sense of his willingness to so pitiably serve the Cherubs later, I guess.   It’s not just a desire to become LE later, but a longsuffering debt payment which he is engaging in with Calliope.  Thus, his Rage is suppressed, especially compared to his violence in the Game Over timeline.

Prison CAN reform some people!   Torturous time in near-suffocating conditions can really make one rethink the decisions one’s made in one’s life, regardless of the major reveals concerning the fictionality/fates of such people, I guess.

Locked being semi-ironic, here. Because most certainly does this revelation stay with him; yet at the same time, he indeed also is corrupted by the influence of Caliborn and willingly ends up serving him+becoming part of LE.   ***shrugs***

***raises an eyebrow***    What an interesting wording and thought.   I did not think that Calliope would be the kind to be so performative like this!  (Or at least worn down/out of patience~)

Man, I don’t need to hear your inherently biased explanation. I mean, others might, but the fact that it’s coming from you and not the narrator isn’t going to help people actually recognize the tragedy inherent in your existence!

...   ...   ...    Aaaaaaaannnnnd this makes me think that Gamzee is actually being insincere, considering he is not actually in fact addressing the true problems that caused him to snap and become evil:  namely, Tavros’s death and Lil Cal. None of that other stuff affected him at all other than to cause him to become more susceptible to the aforementioned and much more important events, subsequent to his running out of the pie that his neglectful father figure allowed him to poison himself and/or rot his think pan with. Mind you, I’m sure that the initial burst of rage that would lead him to storm off would in fact be a result of his subjugglator/religious upbringing, but... Well, if those two events had not actually occurred, I’m sure that he would not have taken up the carefully planned---     you know what, given his rant to Dave about using his chucklevoodoos to make their universe terminal as a result of the blasphemies that Dave gave him via the Miracles music video, I have changed my mind.   I will admit that his upbringing DID have an influence on his actions, beyond making him fall to the perfect moment of weakness for LE to influence and direct him.  I’d say that if I had to measure it, the responsibility of his earlier life would be something between 30 and 49.9% of the overall reason for his behavior during the series of events called Murderstuck. His only mentioning the upbringing side of the coin still makes me question how honest he is being, though.  Having him explain it in such a manner really makes him seem to just be making excuses in a blatantly insincere manner.

Uhhh... Karkat?   Dangit, I knew it was going to be Terezi, but Karkat seemed the more straight-forward choice to inform before her.   Ugh.     Darn me and my refusal to make guesses that seem a bit less secure, sometimes.

Yeah... he probably deserves one.  Gosh darned prerequisite hidden conditions for the proliferation of reality, and the fact that you don’t want to---   wow, why does Karkat have tarps the color of his blood on his house [I forget the troll term] if he is trying to hide said blood color?   I’m sorry. It’s just that Let’s Read Homestuck is playing on my TV for some reason or another, and the thought suddenly occurred to me. Hivebent has obviously just begun.    Anyway, yeah, you wouldn’t want to get Gamzee raging out of control, at this point~

Yeeaaahhh.   Not much to say, indeed.  What can you do?  

...   I take it Terezi’s not going to be split between timelines?  Or is she?  Hmm.  It feels like events over there should remain singular; meanwhile, stuff in Earth C are divided.   I wonder if he’ll continue to talk to Terezi for a long, long time to come, despite the fact that John from the Meat Epilogue never really did until he met up with her again.    (She is right, though. He really didn’t deserve redemption. It’s just... necessary.  Gosh, he’s going to probably screw things up so badly, socially.  I shudder to think of the nonsense that shall result. Shall Earth C[andy] truly become the Paradise Planet that was prophesied? I guess that would make sense of his statement that the mirthful messiahs were both him and ***expletive*** him, mayhaps.  If he, for some time, spends his life as a sort of religious leader in this timeline, before moving on to the far future to help Calliope and Caliborn in their youth. )

Wow. This is a dramatic reversal of the other situation: her feeling like it’s been far, far longer than it has for the other John, once they do meet up.  Veeerrry interesting, seeing the mirror’s faces juxtaposed like this.

Irony.  Also:  WHAT THE HECK IS PSEP?!?!?!     Also also:  Way to go, you derp-head. He’s the one she’d least want to revisit.  Bringing him back practically assures she stays out of this version of the universe you live in!

It’s nice to see them both in such high spirits and playful humors, though. :3

Gosh, I hope that no one’s beginning to feel pity toward that pile of horns.  No one wants to see the disgusting filth that might emerge as a result.  The world doesn’t need more of that.

Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to. This is genuinely a huge shift in the balance of the world, though.  The beginning of a dark, dark carnival of mayhem to come, probably.   “performatively” seals the deal, especially with him speaking to the crowd like that.   ***shudders***

[2003]  You were allowed to design this hive when you were young, after you emerged victorious from your trials deep in the brooding caverns... It's almost as if your people have placed great cultural importance on teaching children to become architecturally adept while very young. It has been this way since ancient times. No one seems to know why that is.

This foreshadowing about the role of the game in Alternian society is pretty on the nose, isn’t it? But the thing that catches my eye is the thing about the brooding caverns. If I recall correctly, these caverns, and the trials, are alluded to but not described in any detail. However, fandom had pieced together a few common ideas about how it worked by the time I started reading fanfiction. newly hatched grubs would hatch in these caverns and struggle to survive until pupating into a wiggler.

[2004] The lawnrings are empty. Blood skims the voids in your porous cranial plates, as if grazing the hollow of a threshed stem, or say, an abandoned cocoon. A sour note is produced. It's the one Agitation plays to make its audience squirm. It is your sixth wriggling day, and as with all five preceding it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Look. [2005]  You don't have time for fancy poetry. It's almost as useless as those arm-swing flappy things on mailboxes, assuming you even knew what those were, which you don't. Trolls don't have mail. Mail is almost as useless as poetry to them. Poetry is the swing arm flappy dealy of words, and mail is the red tilty lever doodad of giving people shit. Frankly you don't know about things skimming voids or grazing hollows or whatever. You've got AMBITION. You were meant to be a bigshot. To be in charge of something huge and really important, and to be totally ruthless about it. You just haven't found the dominion in which you're destined for greatness yet. Or even a vague concept of it.

The running narrative impatience continues. The recurring character “theme” or whatever I called them back in Act One is designed to evoke the theme of the beta kids, especially John Egbert, tying the two. Once again, Hussie seems to believe that reaping and threshing are the same thing.

During the dark seasons, it remains dusk for most of the day. It can stay dark for many bilunar perigees at a time. But even if it didn't, you would still have this feeling... You have a feeling it's going to be a long night.

Again I have to wonder how the hell the orbital mechanics of this fucking planet work. It’s driving me a little insane to be honest.

[2008] is one of my favorite pages in this whole comic. Just a great bit of worldbuilding tied with humor. “Their blood is literally blue. Lousy snobs.” I think this is the first reference to troll blood color in the comic. For a thing that becomes so immense a part of homestuck fan consciousness, it has such humble beginnings.

[2009] oh god. It figures that installing this new beta chat client would open the floodgates. All your moron friends are going to be hounding you relentlessly. Not that they needed an excuse before. You wonder what this chump wants.

I have to wonder how sincere this is. Karkat is definitely the kind of character who would say this sort of thing, but I don’t really know whether he really feels that way about his friends.