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shunsuiken · 16 days

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I JUST CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE, CAN WE GET EVEN CLOSER?

pairing. kamisato ayato x gn!bodyguard!reader

genre. fluff for the most part + does get suggestive tho 😁

synopsis. the yashiro commissioner resorts to a scandalous method to get your attention.

wc. 1.5k (i know its short but i wanted to get straight to the point LMAO)

an. guys this is so dumb but one thing that popped up in my head while writing this is that tiktok of that girl going i slowly started to be seducted by him like he’s trying to SEDUCE me 😭😭😭 omg that shits so fuckin funny

“you’re too far away, y/n.”

your eye twitches as you stare at the wooden door. he’s teasing you. a filthy load of shamelessness drips in his tone. an arm rises so he can relax his cheek in his palm, eyeing your figure that has been standing in front of the door this whole time.

you realise why he’s decided to open his mouth after five minutes of dead silence.

you’re not looking at him.

“y/n, i said you’re too far away.” his voice is louder this time. it sounds closer to a command.

“i am standing at an appropriate distance from you, my lord.” you’re staring laser beams into the door at this point. “feel free to attend to your bathing requirements independently.”

ayato scoffs. a shiver crawls up your spine.

“it was my understanding that you, my personal bodyguard, were informed about the injuries i sustained during the failed fatui assassination attempt.” drawing circles in the water with the tip of his index finger, he sighs, “sadly, my current physical state renders me incapable of attending to my bathing requirements.”

“so i would be most grateful for your assistance.” you can practically see the grin on his lips, devilish and scheming.

before ayato picks up the bathing cloth, you’ve already given in, practically attaching your eyes to the bathtub as you sit on the stool provided for you. taking the cloth, you dip it in the water to soak it up before gently gliding it across his shoulders with shaky hands.

“ah, there we go. now wasn’t that easy?” ayato turns his face towards you, now showing more of his naked back—wet and glistening in all its glory.

you feel you might faint.

you hum in agreement, holding onto that blasted bathing cloth for dear life. ayato seems to notice and turns his whole body towards you out of curiosity, but your head snaps in the other direction instead!

“y/n, how will you help me bathe if you’re facing that way?” you can hear the water splash around the stone material of the tub. it drips down the side, slowly sliding towards the stone floor.

you’re his bodyguard. you’re his bodyguard. this wasn’t part of the job description—so why are you even here?!

“my lord, i find it difficult to provide assistance if you keep moving,” you respond indifferently, maintaining some level of professionalism despite how this situation has broken all levels of it.

from the corner of your eye, you can vaguely see his hair sticking to his collarbones and shoulders. ayato knows you can see him like this. so there’s simply no point in acting such a way. but he laughs, humoured by your behaviour anyway. “oh please drop the formalities. i am merely an injured man before you.”

a naked, injured man. you correct him silently.

“mm.” you don’t really know what else to say. how were you supposed to explain any of this to anybody if they caught you leaving the bathing hall with him?!

you soak up the wash cloth once more, beginning to clean him up again. avoiding all eye contact and opportunities of skinship turns out to be much more difficult than you thought. however, when it’s time to clean his chest area, you wordlessly pass the cloth back to him.

“hm?” he looks at you. “what about over here?” he asks, pointing at his chest shamelessly.

you gape at him—oh, you’re finally looking at him now. and you wish you didn’t.

ayato is so utterly gorgeous. cheeks dusted in a shade of pink from the steam and his lips, moistened and sanguine. he would have been recognised as a deity were it not for his mortal disposition.

ayato rather takes pleasure in this look on your face. baffled, stunned, dumbfounded—this list could go on! what he finds interesting though, is that your eyes never seem to go past his shoulders. and, ayato, being quite fond of his cute and adorable bodyguard, has to tease you.

“this is as far as i will go,” you inhale, feeling like your mask of indifference will crumble within seconds. “my lord, it would be inappropriate for me to assist you in this area.”

ayato’s brows raise in excitement, revelling in how you try to stay professional. you’re doing a much better job than he would’ve expected—if it were anybody else, they would have been seduced right away.

but it’s you that the lord is playing with. and he intends to play with you until he is satisfied.

“but you’ve already come this far, why not do the rest while you’re at it?” your bottom lip quivers.

ayato figures that he’ll need to try something else to get your attention to where it needs to be.

you gasp when he takes your hand in his, gently pulling you towards him until you’re sitting on the edge of the stone tub. your uniform is dampened as you sit on the edge but you can care less when ayato peers up at you with those lavender eyes.

“m- my lord, what do you intend to do?” you curse yourself silently for stuttering. the vapour from the bath water makes your cheeks hot and sticks your hair to your forehead.

kind of looks like you could use a bath too. ayato makes a brief comment in his mind, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he ponders on a response.

“get in the bath with me.”

a moment passes by. you swear you have never heard a more ridiculous request than this. for the past few years you’ve dealt with his unique appetite, his clothing requirements and his… special personality but this request is the first one that renders you speechless.

“what?”

“get in the bath with me,” ayato repeats, firmer this time.

you’ve lost feeling in your legs ever since he took your hand, but it’s not long before you’re soaked in bath water—with ayato there to soften the fall as your hands instinctively grab onto his shoulders. you land with an oompf, fingers wiping droplets on your face, unfortunately missing the biggest grin on your boss’ lips.

“there, that was not so difficult, was it?” his voice is much closer by your ear now, sending a wave of chills down your spine.

you hesitantly meet his eyes, behind those pretty lashes and soft sky blue hair that clings to his forehead and cheeks. “wasn’t,” you mutter as your gaze shakes in your stare. you fear that if you tear your eyes away from him again he’ll do something else even more ridiculous.

the water swooshes and you fall onto your butt when ayato finds himself on top of your lap. you can feel his thighs just gently pressing against your own which is making you wonder how you haven’t already lost consciousness.

but it’s also making you think about things you never would’ve thought you would think about.

is ayato, your employer, trying to seduce you?!

you try to think of something to say. anything. doesn’t matter how random it could be. you inhale sharply, “so did you actually have work to do or did you just want me to loiter around you?”

“not to ‘loiter’,” ayato chuckles at your word choice while you think you’ve heard heaven’s gates fly right open. “but to ‘accompany’. i did indeed have work to complete but such a mind-numbing task becomes more bearable with you around.” he traces your cheek with the pad of his thumb, palm just ghosting over your ear. “do you know how adorable you look when you’re sitting by the door with that straight look on your face?”

“that is my job, my lord.” you don’t lean away from his touch. a good sign for him. “i didn’t think i would be such a distraction, if you would like, i could relocate just outsi-”

it’s featherlight. barely even a kiss. just a gentle brush of his lips over yours. but that miniscule feeling is like a fire and it burgeons in your chest, melting away the cold iceberg of your doubts and worries. there is no turning back now. it’s like your hand has grown a mind of its own when it wraps around ayato’s neck, pulling him closer so his lips collide with yours again.

“oh dear,” ayato mutters lowly. his hair tickles your cheek. “are my feelings being reciprocated?”

your lips are like magnets to his. it makes you grin at the revelation of your own emotions. “i fear you’ve successfully seduced me, my lord.” ayato smiles as your gaze flickers between his eyes and lips.

being caged between his arms has to be considered some sort of sport for your heart. the last time it threatened to leap out of your chest like this was during the official selection of ayato’s bodyguards.

“that makes a fine headline for the steambird, don’t you think?” ayato keeps his lips close to yours, doing everything he can in his power to not crash his lips onto yours again. and so pathetically too. “‘bodyguard allegedly seduced by the yashiro commissioner’.”

“indeed. now wouldn’t that shake things up here in inazuma,” you laugh, cupping your hands in the water to pour over what you can onto his shoulders. “well now that you’re all cleaned up, don’t you think you should get ready for bed?”

ayato gives you a pointed look. “will you dress me?”

“i-” you shouldn’t even pretend like you’re surprised by this. nodding your head, you reassure him, “that can be arranged.”

#ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato fluff #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #ayato x reader fluff #kamisato ayato fluff

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cuubism · 1 year

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unhinged dreamling modern au #409430950

the bachelor

dream is bribed, threatened, and/or physically dragged by his ankle into being on a dating show by death and desire (for very different reasons, death just wants him to be happy and is very very desperate at this point, desire's just fucking with him again), and needless to say dream is not the target candidate for this. at all. sure he's pretty and rich but he's also a complete asshole. this is destined to go poorly.

(unless you're the show's producers who just want an unhinged television trainwreck that keeps people in their seats, in which case it's fucking fantastic)

hob is also there as a contestant because he's bored, single, and always willing to do something stupid. everybody on the show is taking it seriously except for dream, who'd rather jump off a cliff than be here right now, and hob, who's just entertaining himself.

dream: this is stupid (hateful) hob: this is stupid (having the time of his life)

needless to say this whole thing is a disaster. normally contestants are clamoring for the 'bachelor's' attention but dream just keeps being an utter jerk to everyone, making them cry, and causing them to actually drop out of the show. contestants: "i'd rather die than be with you." dream: "glad we're finally on the same page." like. dream doesn't even have to actively eliminate people. they just eliminate themselves because he's so insufferable.

hob isn't put off, though, this whole thing is hilarious to him. dream tries scaring him off and hob just laughs like "oh you're so cute, this is great"

dream: i hope you die hob: you want me so bad it makes you look stupid

the more people drop out of the show the more time dream and hob end up spending together, by necessity. unfortunately for dream's sanity hob is actually very charming and fun and inexplicably good at getting dream to smile. they have at least one proper heart-to-heart and hob is so kind to him, and dream hates him soooo much for it.

(of course he actually likes him, and it's the worst thing that's happened to him, maybe ever. he's in agony. he wants off this ride, please. maybe he wants on a different ride ahem.)

so now hob's properly invested in this stupid game, he's like oh that wretched stick of a man is mine (literally nobody is challenging him but he's being super competitive about it anyway). all it really results in is dream being MORE of an asshole both to hob and to everybody else. (dream: one time i had a crush on this guy and i didn't know how to handle it so i just wrote him a letter saying get out of my tv show). and yet every week dream could eliminate hob from the show but he never does...

anyway soon enough literally every other contestant has dropped out of the show and it's JUST hob remaining and he basically wins by default. dream absolutely will not be beaten or outdone and is like fine hob i'll call your bluff. marry me if you're so committed to winning. hob's like, bet :) (see: always willing to do something stupid).

they do in fact get married because they're both incapable of conceding defeat. then they're like well. what do we do now...

dream: going to divorce me now and take half of my money? run with your spoils? hob: idk, are you going to divorce me and finally 'free yourself from the torment of my presence'? dream: *sniff* then you would win hob: then i bet i can stay in this relationship longer than you :) dream, gritting his teeth: bet

anyway they manage about two months before dream, perpetually in agony over how aggressively he's into hob, is like fine, i concede, i can't take it anymore. leave me if you want, take my money, i do not care, only free me from this pain. hob: so... i win? i get to choose the prize? dream, utterly defeated: whatever you want hob: okay! and he kisses him

#today i bring more nonsense #tomorrow the same #dreamling #also i've never watched the bachelor in my life

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jellys-compendium · 13 days

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Comforting Monster Stories for the Weary Heart

Part 2 - The Werewolf

Pairing: Werewolf x/& GN!Reader Cw: hurt/comfort, depictions of stress/burnout, gentle werewolf cuddles Word Count:~1.7K A/n: I went into a little more detail this time with shaping this werewolf character and I really like how he came out. He's such a sweet wolfie. <3

As you cross the threshold to your apartment, the exhaustion that you had fought so hard to hide finally seeps deep into the marrow of your bones. Your body sags, legs trembling slightly from exertion as you lean your weight against the nearest wall.

It had been a long and grueling day at work, one that was spent running from office to office, rushing to finalize last minute alterations, and having to answer to an outrageously demanding client while simultaneously dealing with a panicked boss who hardly gave you a second to breathe, let alone take a lunch break.

To top it all off, your mother had decided that today was the perfect day to blow up your phone with urgent “requests” for your help in organizing an upcoming family event.

Amidst those heated meetings and sprints between cubicles, you had tried to convey to your mother in the kindest but firmest way possible that you were very tied up and couldn’t agree to take anything else on.

That’s when the guilt trip started. How could you brush her off like this, after everything she’s done for you? Paying for your college, helping you buy your car. Didn’t you realize how much she had sacrificed for you? The least you could do is help her plan this event.

And like a thin sheet of ice pulverized by the heavy footsteps of every single person who had decided to step on you that day, you cracked. By noon, you found yourself agreeing to every single one of your mother’s demands. It was only on your way home in the dark of night that it truly dawned on you how blatantly she had emotionally manipulated you.

But then again…she had always manipulated you like this hadn’t she?

“I’m home.”

The sigh that leaves the deepest recesses of your lungs is wispy and weary, utterly incapable of masking your paper thin state. You know that your perceptive roommate will pick up on it right away, so you do your best to adjust your expression, donning a mask of simple tiredness instead of one that reveals just how close to the edge you really are.

“Fen?” You call, shutting the apartment door behind you. “Did you hear me? I’m home.”

You are so exhausted and so out of touch with your surroundings that it takes you a moment to realize that your apartment is completely dark and silent. Of course Fen isn’t responding, he isn’t home.

Cold and heavy fingers squeeze around your chest and snuff out the last little flicker of hope inside you. After a day like today, you had longed to spend some time with your roommate.

Fen has a talent for calming you even after the toughest of days. The two of you don’t always necessarily talk, but you’ve found that even just sitting quietly beside him on the couch and listening to the sound of his deep rolling breaths is a comfort. He’s the person you feel safest around most in the whole world, and you feel utterly gutted that he’s not here right now.

Fighting back tears, you force your body into autopilot. Shrug off coat, hang coat, kick off pinchy shoes, tell yourself for the millionth time to replace the worn WELCOME mat, hang apartment keys on hook, walk down hallway, grab dinner…

But you ignore the gurgling of your stomach that accompanies your footsteps and bypass the kitchen altogether. You’re too tired to even think about food. Frankly, all you want to do is just lie down and pass out. You want to forget about today. You want to tell all those awful people in your life where they can stick it. But like always, things are more complicated than that.

If you get yourself fired, who’s going to help pay the rent? If you tell your mother to fuck off, how will that impact your younger siblings that are still under her care?

Actions after all have consequences, and like many you’re just an insignificant little fly caught in the neverending spider’s web of cause and effect.

The daunting feeling of helplessness weighs you down and your vision blurs as you enter your bedroom. You ignore the warm drops that run down your burning cheeks as you slip out of your clothing.

You wish Fen was here.

Fen is…one of a kind. He may be a lone wolf by nature but he’s also your rock, your best friend and your partner in crime. When you first met in childhood, the two of you had been stuck to one another like glue. Back then, Fen was a lonely kid who needed a friend, whereas you were the popular kid surrounded by people pretending to be your friends. The day you’d caught Fen alone and crying behind the school was the day the two of you became inseparable.

Except when the moon is full of course.

As the weight of your work clothing is fully removed from your frame, a sweet relief washes over you. It gives you just the right amount of energy you need to wriggle into your oversized t-shirt and snuggle on top of the fluffy duvet that covers your bed. Reaching down, you pull up the fuzzy throw and knitted blanket that normally decorate the foot of your mattress and completely engulf yourself in your makeshift burrow of blankets.

Then, you close your eyes and it all comes crashing down.

The first sob is silent. Then a second one comes, and then a third, forth, fifth…

Before you know it you’re openly weeping rivers onto the blankets. There’s no reason to hide anymore. No one is here to see you cry.

It’s a cathartically painful release, one that consumes your every thought and sense. The sobs ransack throughout your entire body and your head pounds in tandem with your rapid pulse as you hold on desperately to yourself. You’re so caught up in the release of your stress and misery that you don’t notice the faint scratching and whining at your window.

It’s only when you hear your squeaky window open that you realize that you’re no longer alone. A stranger has entered your bedroom.

Alarmed, you stop crying, but the involuntary trembling from the aftermath of your tears persist. You hold yourself tighter, biting your lip as you try to stifle the shaking and whimpering.

But then, a voice calls out to you. Rough and distorted.

“Hey, now. It’s okay, don’t cry.”

Fen.

Your body dips and the mattress groans in protest as a massive weight joins you on the bed. You lay still, relieved and dizzy from exhaustion as Fen scoops your blanket covered body close, pulling your flush against him.

Being under the covers you can’t see Fen, but you can tell from the gentle way that he’s maneuvering you, as well as how utterly huge he feels all around you, that he has fully transformed.

“Why are you here?”

God, the sound of your hoarse voice is awful. It’s too vulnerable. Too raw.

“It’s a full moon tonight. Shouldn’t you be out there, hunting with your pack?”

Fen’s rumbling sigh sends tremors down your spine. You can feel his soft snout press against you through the barrier of the blankets. He inhales deeply and pulls you closer.

“I’ve told you many times. You are my pack.”

A dry swallow constricts your throat. You hold yourself tighter as your fingers dig nervously into the flesh of your arms. He’s being sincere, you know that. But still, you can’t help but feel like you’re robbing him of something. Fen had finally found his kind after years of searching, and here you are taking him away from the precious little time he gets to spend with them.

“You should go. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Stillness is his response. Fen is completely motionless beside you. Even his breathing has stopped.

Instinctively, the image of a wolf silently stalking its prey in the wilderness flashes in your mind’s eye. But no sooner does that image come do you then witness the real thing. Fen gently grabs the blankets with his teeth and claws and then slowly pulls them off you, exposing you like a frightened little rabbit in its den.

Once free from the confines you had constructed, your gaze immediately finds Fen’s. His eyes are sharp–predatory—and as gold as a nourished field of wheat. But as Fen silently studies your moonlit face in the private darkness of your bedroom, his gaze gradually softens. Then, he leans down and nuzzles your cheek with his wet nose before giving the side of your face a big, fat, slobbery kiss.

“Ugh! Fen!” You snap, pushing his snout away. “That’s gross!”

Fen’s wolfish laugh sparks a joyous little thrill in your chest. One that’s sent right down to your toes.

“Not as gross as the thought of leaving you when you need me.”

Fen allows you to push him away, his powerful jaws in your hand as he pegs you with another serious look. You can feel his hot breath moistening and billowing against your palm as he speaks his next words carefully.

“Listen. You don’t gotta talk about it or anything, just let me be here for you, okay? It doesn’t matter what else is going on. I care about you, I always have.”

I care about you.

Those four simple words bring fresh tears to your eyes. Fen’s wolfish face softens as you hiccup another pathetic little sob.

Wanting to console you, the huge werewolf carefully nudges your palm from his face, giving him the freedom to lean down and rub his huge, fluffy head against yours. Your eyes close as you bask in the feeling. He’s so soft and warm.

Your hands reach up to caress his head, gently lingering over his big pointy ears. Fen’s content hum rumbles deep in his chest, helping to soothe your nerves and slow your heart beat down into a relaxed pace. At this moment he’s almost like…a big, cuddly therapy dog.

A tiny smile forms on your lips at the thought and Fen doesn’t miss it. His eyes light up and his big, bushy tail starts to wag happily.

“Go to sleep, okay?” Fen says softly. “You’ll feel better in the morning. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

You exhale a deep sigh and nod as Fen cuddles you closer, pampering you with the tenderest of hugs and little muzzle kisses.

“Thank you, Fen. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

You return his hug, clinging onto him for dear life.

“Likewise.” He whispers.

dividers by @/saradika

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thekingofwinterblog · 4 months

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There is one detail were I think I need a second opinion on:

So during the manga ending, there is that detail of supposedly Lord Death, with his "madness of order" being able to control everyone on earth - basically being able to solve all crime/evil things from happening.

The fact that he doesnt use this power is presented as a positive thing, basically an indirect way of answering the problem of evil with "actually God gives us free will and thats why evil happens, because denying us the free will would be more evil than anything else"

So ok, what is the sticking point to me? Well Lord Death was kinda hinted as being deeply flawed, and even his death at the end is framed as tragic but as the time necessary and a positive thing, a new generiation taking over creating a better wolrd, ect.

But isn't including such a huge revelation - a revelation that only makes sense with an All Good, kinda absolute God?

Basically, maybe I'm just looking for nitpicks, but to me these two things clash - like the story and Ohkubo couldnt decide between if Lord Death was holding the world back and needed to pass the torch or if he actually was the wacky all knowing force for good all along -

Like if instead it was revealed that Lord Death was pressured to make Kid be an automaton to avoid an Asura situation, but he refused because he didnt sucumb to the despair of failure and had hope in humanity and freedom, it could work as "wow Lord Death had past sins and couldnt steer the world into the future, but here is an action that proved that the flame of his vision was still good and know Kid will be his resurection, like that old NAS song"

Idk, maybe this is all just nonsense to normal people but to me its the best example of Soul Eaters (more the mangas) unwillingness to commit to the "Death is not all good thing" - like the whole WMD's parrelel and shit seems even more out of place and ironically as a way to say "well Bush made mistakes, but American imperialism is a good thing overall!"

(Ok i probably shouldnt have included "politics" here lol)

Anyway I think the anime in the end was better with its more simplistic worldview - cause atleat it didnt break itself - the shadyness of Death was worked into Kids isuess of trust and accepting that he isnt perfect and can place his trust in his partners and is more simmilar to his father in this way etc.

So yeah, if you are still reading and didnt delete it out of boredom, Im interested in a response, cause I'll admit I'm not sure about it 100 percent myself so if you go and say "Nah, thats wrong cause-" I'll probably open to listening

Eh, i'd say that you're looking at this from a wrong perspective.

Shinigami was a good, if very flawed individual, but the thing is that the reason why he could not lead the new age was not because be was flawed... It was because in chasing perfection, he made an error so great that he could never recover from it.

That error being the way he created his first son, not to create a successor, but instead as a byproduct of ripping his fear out of his own self in order to become a "better" God of order, a desciaion that had enormous consequences in that it laid the groundwork for the first Kishin, but also because it left him utterly incapable of feeling fear, and thus incapable of feeling bravery either, and drastically affecting his descision making.

As such, he was incapable of decisively defeating his son, and had to resort to sealing him away, something that also required him to stay in one place forever afterwards.

The school that he founded afterwards to replace his team of immensely powerfull warriors that Asura and Excalibur was a part of, came as a consequence of his own failures shattering that group, and with him no longer being able to move around, he couldn't even uphold his actual purpose in the world.

And thats withouth taking into account how much getting ridd of his own fear screwed him up as a person. Through the series, shinigami is utterly incapable of showing real, true fear, no matter how dire things get. All of his angry moments happens in the moment, as things are happening around him.

He was incapable of truly feeling any sense of urgency when Asura was about to escape, and only after he is free is he able to confront the very real consequences on an emotional level.

Similarily at the end of the series he isnt actually afraid of the witches betraying them despite thinking this is the likely outcome, but when he thinks they do, he flies off the handle to reveal just how much hate he truly has for them.

Hia philosophy debate with his son near the end of the anime is all about exploring how these two family members are unable to feel fear and by extention understand bravery.

Ultimately what Shinigami came to realise and finally accept, is that as a consequence of chasing utter perfection, he ironically made himself too fundamentally broken to lead the way, both as a person, and as a king/god who should be leading his organization by example, rather than being trapped in his city.

Fundamentally Shinigami was a good person... But by his own actions, while chasing perfection he crossed a line that he was never able to uncross. Very much like his son, he believed that if he was the strongest, withouth "flaws", he would be able to see his vision through. Only where Asura wanted to feel completely out of any possible danger, Shinigami wanted keep the word orderly and safe for the good people of the planet.

A good goal. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

#soul eater #shinigami sama #lord death #meta #kishin asura #fear #bravery #courage

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nativehueofresolution · 11 months

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the thing about devil's minion is that 'armand was daniel's single oracle; his merciless and all-loving god'. daniel becomes cut off from his friends and family. he has nowhere else to go. he's never allowed to 'see or sense the presence of another supernatural being', and he wears the amulet with armand's blood and the single 'a' to show he's been claimed. armand tells daniel that he belongs to him, and he does. he is the devil's minion... and the devil grants his every wish. armand is literally always there to come pick up daniel when he asks and sometimes when he doesn't because he's too far gone. armand waits in night island to welcome daniel back, finding more riches and wonders to give him. he bathes him, dresses him, does everything so that daniel never has to want for anything. they spend over a decade going from city to city across the globe meeting interesting strangers but none of them stick and they don't stay because the only real thing that matters is the two of them. daniel is his guide and he will follow him anywhere, ask his opinion on anything. they're always in the middle of a psychic conversation that only exists for them. armand has daniel spend his last minutes in a world where it's literally just the two of them because that's what their relationship has been, the two of them utterly consumed, each one's life and world revolving around the other - each one thinking the other is incapable of matching their true feelings, that their love is stronger and purer. it's a dread devotion that rots you from within as you lose yourself to someone else and yet parts of you that were lost are reborn. it's a selfish desire to consume and a selfless desire to be consumed or maybe it's the other way around! it destroyed and preserved daniel's life, it shattered armand's centuries long vow to himself - the one moral code he believed it. obsession is not a strong enough word.

#and they make me [cue screaming noise]#like!! they take 'you two exist in your own world' to new and unforeseen levels #no wonder the loss of the mind gift and the introduction of other vampires was so earth shattering. they were back in the world again #devil's minion #iwtv #kaitlin speaks

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sadistpet · 3 months

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A, C, D, M?

smut headcanons

A - Affection: How affectionate are they during sex? Is it different with people they're romantically involved with? Can they sleep with people they aren't?

it depends ! i think for the most part when he's like, making love, he's very affectionate. lots of kissing and gay little "i love you"s and generally being very touchy and grabby and getting as close as possible. canonically at least he's only ever sleeping with volgin, who he is romantically involved with, and i'd imagine he's often very affectionate with him unless they're being a bit more bdsm-y. because oh wow can raikov dom if he wants to. but yeah, he's very affectionate :3 he's the clingy type, he can never get close enough to someone, he's always got his legs wrapped around volgin's waist or hips or thrown over his shoulders, always digging his nails into his back or fisting his hands in his hair.

he can and has slept with people he's not romantically involved with, but he by far prefers sleeping with someone he is. he struggles with viewing himself solely as a sex object, so having someone who can be affectionate with him during sex is quite important to him -- even if it's just little things like praising him or complimenting him, stuff like that :3

C - Chatter: Do they like to talk during the act? If so what do they like to talk about? Is it just dirty talk or something different?

oh, he loves dirty talk. loves saying it, loves hearing it. granted, it's often a little difficult for him to actually speak during sex because ( gestures at volgins overall size and ferocity and electricity ) thats a bit physically taxing to be subjected to ! but he's also fucking annoying and extremely talkative anyway and every thrust knocking the breath out of him isn't gonna stop him ^-^ sorryyyy sorry

kind of following on from the other question too, he's very affectionate -- lots of little "i love you"s and such, the general begging of more, harder, deeper, come inside, breed me, please let me come -- yk how it are. if he's domming or power bottoming yk he never shuts the fuck up. he loves giving praise and demanding bc hes ANNOYING.

D - Dominance: Are they into those types of power dynamics? Or do they like to stick to whose topping and bottoming? If they are into it why? If they aren't why not?

GRINS YES. for the most part i think he's usually the one bottoming / receiving, because he's a pillow princess, and he's usually taking the submissive role because he enjoys that ! but he does love being more dominant at times ; he will absolutely be a power bottom if he wants to be, and i know he's topped a few times. he loves his role as volgin's precious pet and he will gladly play with that in the bedroom

plus i mean . we all know volgin gets on his knees for raikov. and raikov is 100% taking advantage of that devotion DHFJGFH he wants to muzzle and dominate that man so bad and make him beg to fuck him. ik he LOVES riling volgin up and teasing him because he knows volgin is completely and utterly incapable of waiting patiently and he LOVES when he torments him enough that volgin just throws him on the bed and pins him down JDFHDJFGR he thinks its fun. and he loves being worshipped

i think he enjoys being in control because he loves being listened to and being able to order people around, getting them frustrated and making them beg for him. on the contrary, he enjoys being submissive because he loves being able to give up control to somebody he trusts, being able to be toyed with and manhandled knowing he can just lie back and enjoy it. plus he definitely enjoys being praised and teased and a little bit degraded and humiliated ^-^ plus theres a kind of. secret authority to it ig. like he is ultimately the one in control even when he's being submissive, and he enjoys having that power

M - Masturbation: Is it a part of sex for your muse? Or is it something completely different? Do they enjoy watching their partner or being watched?

HMM. i think yes, but not often. usually only when volgin's away from groznyj grad and he's a sad little freak all alone, ik he's the phone sex type kjfhrgkhg but i don't think it's a regular thing for him. i actually think he finds masturbating a little awkward without having another person with him, either over the phone or physically, just because he's not used to it. he would definitely enjoy watching his partner masturbate, and being watched while doing so -- he's a little bit of an attention whore, after all, and he would love commanding attention like that using his body.

i don't think either of them are the type to do mutual masturbation or much of watching each other masturbate unless it's taking a direct role in what they're currently doing. otherwise they mostly seem the types to just... have sex rather than masturbate skjhf but yeah, as sexual as raikov is, i don't think he actually masturbates all that much

#YEAAAH THIS WAS FUN i love silly hcs. grins #g: ¦ ❝ answered. ❞

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indiaalphawhiskey · 1 year

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Really hope you’re right about H&L being decisional in their commitment to each other.

They’re not your run of the mill people. They’ve survived Syco, Simon, Modest, fame & fortune, failure & success,…family tragedies together.

Nobody really understands them like they do.

Let me be clear: when I say “being decisional and intentional in your romantic pursuits is a thing”, I don’t just mean a thing for Harry and Louis. I mean it’s a human thing. It’s available to everyone, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is lying to you. There is no situation in the world where a person loses their agency and free will simply because someone else is attracted to them. Yeah, people cheat. But don’t make it seem like that’s not an active choice. It is.

Every. Single. Time.

That lack of agency is one of the many things that always bothered me about the narrative of Harry’s sexualization because it requires the people who buy into that version of him to be completely and utterly convinced that just because someone expresses their attraction to him, he’d be down to sleep with them, regardless of the circumstance.

As though he’s just an empty shell of a person waiting for every opportunity to hit it. As if every single value or standard he’s ever had simply crumbles at the chance to have sex with someone — anyone.

I mean, if you truly believe that, why be his fan?

Do I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he and Louis have remained monogamous this entire time? No.

But to believe they’re somehow incapable of sticking by the choice to have a monogamous relationship is degrading, reductive, and dehumanizing. It perpetuates the idea that personal decisions and commitments are immediately invalid in the face of fame, attraction, money, sex, whatever, and that’s just not true.

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #Larry relationship discussion

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andr0medafallen · 2 years

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Square

A/N: Republishing my old fics.

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x reader

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, themes of unplanned pregnancy, mentions of abortion, language, lmk if i missed anything

Description: When you find out that you're pregnant with Nathan Bateman's baby, you expect the worst, but maybe you weren't giving him enough credit. Because yes, he's an asshole, but he's your asshole.

Word Count: 2.6k

Love shouldn’t burn.

You had thought about it for a long time. Having a baby, that is. It had always been there, sort of niggling at the back of your mind. Your friends used to joke about it, calling all of your dates ‘potential baby daddy’, ‘potential baby daddy 2.0’, ‘potential baby daddy #3’, etc.. Funnily enough, Nathan had never received a ‘potential baby daddy’ nickname from your group of friends.

That didn’t seem to stop you from falling in love with him. It was all those little things that fascinated you, the things that not even ‘potential baby daddy 12x’ had done. Maybe it made you a narcissist, that the only person who could ever hold claim to your attention was a man who seemed so utterly incapable of affection for anyone else. Still, every time he answered your interrogations about a new piece of art in the living room will a shrug and a ‘I knew you’d like it’, or he’d let you drag him away from whatever super important project he was working on to watch Twilight on the couch, you knew that whatever it was the two of you had was the right choice.

Even if you did love Nathan, you had to be honest with yourself; Parenting seemed like just about the last thing he wanted to do. Having been stabbed in the chest by the last semblance of life which he had created, you certainly couldn’t blame him. You held no animosity towards him, although he certainly wasn’t anyone’s favorite at family reunions. Hell, you hadn’t even brought it up. You both already knew the answer. You had a good thing going with Nathan. You didn’t feel like ruining that.

You knew Nathan didn’t want kids. You didn’t even need to ask him when the answer was so obvious. It was that knowledge which led you to this moment, sitting on the lid of your toilet in Nathan’s ridiculously fancy bathroom, skylight casting blue-tinted sunlight over you, sobbing. Any attempts at keeping your volume at a minimum were ruined by heavy and restrictive breath which was wheezing past your lungs, as if you were a soldier shot on the battlefield. Loud, even after every ounce of your bleeding restraint was placed on it.

You knew that Nathan couldn’t likely see you on his security cams. Conveniently enough, you were in the only room without them. They used to be in every room of the house (yes, closets included), but they had conveniently disappeared a couple of months ago after you had called him a paranoid psycho. It wouldn’t stop him from hearing you though, if you couldn’t get a handle on your emotions. He would hear enough sobbing in about 8 months, if he’s still around by then.

You’d been in there for a while. There were the 5 minutes, not patiently waiting for the results, plus the subsequent panicking which lasted God knows how long (after having received the results from the little pink plastic stick). In retrospect, you probably should have waited for a point in time in which Nathan was not home, but when all of the puzzle pieces of missed periods, vomiting sessions, and constant tiredness clicked together, you had been desperate for a confirmation.

And hell, you’d gotten one. But you couldn’t stop picturing the look on Nathan’s face when you finally tell him. It's different in your mind every time. Sometimes fear, sometimes anger. Sometimes regret. Regretting you, your baby. The only life he’s ever made by accident. Add that to the list of God-like qualifications.

You sighed, getting up from where you were perched on the toilet seat cover, and grabbed the test; You had abandoned it on the counter after your first glance at the two little lines, as if setting it down and ignoring it would change the results. It didn’t. They were still perfectly visible, a testament to your own humanity.

You froze when a knock sounded at the door, weighing your chances of getting away with ignoring it. After a brief pause, you surmised that Nathan absolutely knew you were in the room, so instead you called, “Yeah?” Your voice came out as a croak, betraying the emotions that you were so desperately trying to hide.

“You’ve been in there a while,” Nathan pointed out. As if he hadn’t even noticed your pain, the fear in your voice. You knew he did, though. He was probably putting it into a data sheet at that very moment, categorized under ‘weird human feelings, investigate later’. “Are you okay?”

Then again, maybe he wasn’t jotting down data with robot-like precision. You were upset, and you hated him a lot some of the time, but there was a reason the two of you were together. Because he hated you and cared about you, and you hated him and cared about him. Because every once in a while, when you most wanted to punch him, he would ask you if you were okay.

“Yeah. I’m peeing,” you told Nathan, hoping that you would gross him out enough that he would leave. While that might have worked on any regular Tuesday, your voice was no less scratchy than before, and your lie was thinly veiled through your distress.

“You’ve been peeing for 20 minutes? What, d'you have a UTI or something?” Clearly you had underestimated the difficulty level in grossing out Nathan Bateman.

“Yeah. Sure,” you bit back. You knew that pissing him off would probably do the opposite of helping, but half a dozen stress-related endorphins were still pumping through your body, and you were nowhere near ready to give away your secret.

“Okay, cut the shit. I’m coming in.”

Before you had the chance to protest, the door clicked open. Stupid house and stupid key cards not denying Nathan access to fucking anything. As a myriad of thoughts along those lines raced through your head, your feet remained frozen on the floor, hand still clutching your test. You knew that your face was blotchy and red from all of your crying, and your hair was a mess. People are only ever pretty criers in movies.

You looked into Nathan’s eyes and followed them to where they met the item in your hand. It almost felt like slow motion, the way your grip loosened on the plastic stick and it fell to the ground, but time sped back up again as you backed yourself into the wall.

Your hands reflexively cradled your belly protectively as you watched Nathan bend down to pick up the small pink pregnancy test. Your knees went weak and you slid down the wall, and you watched his brow furrow as he realized what it meant. A part of you felt invisible, completely ignored as Nathan analyzed the data in front of him, brain clicking through possible outcomes and solutions to your problem before even looking at you.

When he finally did look towards you, his gaze noticeably softened. You were sitting on the floor, a complete mess all around. Eyes red, hair disheveled, brows furrowed in an attempt to slow your tears.

“Fuck,” Nathan muttered. That seemed to be the breaking point for you. With the cold marble tiles beneath you as the only thing grounding you, you burst into sobs, hands covering your blotchy face from Nathan’s view. There were a few moments where it was just silence, your sobs ricocheting off of the cold, hard walls of the bathroom, but then you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Fuck, don’t cry.”

You looked up at him, ready to scream ‘fuck you’ at him and leave, but the way he grabbed your face, gently, almost tenderly, made up for all of the condescension in his tone.

“Don’t cry,” he tried again. It was slightly softer, this time. As if he was reading your mind, and could pinpoint exactly how you had been about to react. His demand was stern, but you could hear the clear edge to his voice; the little rasp that you’ve only heard before during late nights in his lab while he’s stressed by a board deadline. “Talk to me.”

You rubbed your tears away with the sleeve of your shirt–it’s his shirt, really. A dark red button-up that you had found in his closet months ago and refused to give back. The action causes your hand to knock his palm from your face, but you scoot to make room for him on the tile floor beside you.

“What do you want me to say?” You asked. He sighed and sat down on the floor next to you. You refused to make eye contact, but when you felt his arm brush yours, you slid your hand into his.

Your attempts at indifference were ruined when he tilted your face with one of his broad hands and your gaze met his.

“Tell me what happened,” He implored. You weren’t sure what he meant, not really. He had seen the evidence, it was an easy conclusion to make.

“Nathan, I want to… I’m keeping it.”

He groaned, head falling back to hit the wall.

He stayed like that for a moment, as if letting the implications seep into his head from the cold tile, before answering, “Okay.”

It was the answer you wanted, right? It was the answer that you should want, but–

“Okay? Nathan, what does that even fucking mean–”

“It means okay! What the fuck do you want me to say?”

You paused. Mouth open, before shutting in indignation. You tried again, this time making it to “I–” before your mouth snapped shut again. You couldn’t speak with his body, his hands, sending warmth to you.

Standing up, you wrenched your hand from his grip. “You’re a fucking robot, you know that Nathan Bateman?”

It was only a few paces before you made it out of the room, and Nathan didn’t follow. It wasn’t hard to pull your suitcase out of the closet and begin to haphazardly throw any clean item of clothing you could find into it, but you had only managed around seven before giving up, breaking down, and returning to your new base state of dread and sorrow, snot and tears. Only difference now, though, was that if Nathan cared to look, you would be perfectly visible through his bedroom camera.

You wondered if he was looking.

Love doesn’t burn.

You fell asleep on the bed, in the same position that you had been crying in. You were still wearing his shirt, and you hadn’t bothered to take off your pants. You could only imagine how disordered you looked, but you were beginning to feel better. Your anger had melted into acceptance. It was morning. The sun was shining in through your window, and you had decided that you couldn’t change Nathan; That it wasn’t a fair thing to expect.

That only left the question, where do you go from here?

You stood up, muscles aching as you stretched them out. You turned toward your suitcase, where it lay on the floor. The chaotic mess on clothes surrounding it almost looked like one of Nathan’s Jackson Pollock paintings. You had just barely started folding one of these said articles of clothing when you heard another knock at your door. You jumped, startled at the sound. After living with Nathan for so long, hearing people knocking on doors gave you more of a fright than people sneaking up behind you unannounced. You don’t know why it’s a habit that he has decided to break now, after so long.

“Door’s open,” you mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear through the door. You turned away from the suitcase and toward the bed, busying yourself with the covers. Maybe it was your conflict aversion that caused you to ignore the suitcase now that you were in his sight. You didn’t think it would slip his notice, though.

“Y’know Kyoko can do that, right?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and squaring his hips a bit. He looked the perfect image of a man in power, dripping with confidence and a know-it-all attitude.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure she can do a lot of things.” You cringed at your phrasing the moment after you said it. It was the perfect set-up, and all you could do was wait for the, ‘she can’t get pregnant.’ It didn’t come though, much to your relief.

Instead, “Planning a trip?” Nathan nudged your open and half-packed suitcase with his foot.

You gulped heavily, your own tongue feeling like a weight in your mouth. “What do you expect me to do?”

Nathan shrugged. “I didn’t write your code. I’ll tell you what I want you to do, though.”

“I’m supposed to care?” You snorted. You finished making the bed, quite frankly not giving a fuck what Kyoko could or couldn’t do. When the dark grey sheets were all in their proper place, you squared your shoulders and faced him.

Closing the distance between the two of you, Nathan said, “Yeah, you care, princess. You’re not supposed to, but you do.” When you stayed silent, he rolled his eyes, placing a large hand on your stomach. “So I fucked a baby into you, huh?”

His hand stayed firm on the side of your stomach, face betraying nothing. It wasn’t even big, according to google, the fetus was currently ‘approximately the size of a grain of rice’, so what, he was just making a point or something? You placed one hand over his, and another on his shoulder, caught between wanting to push him away and pull him closer. Every time you told yourself to push him away, it was all you could do not to pull him closer.

“Well it isn’t baby Jesus 2.0,” you remarked.

Nathan chuckled a bit at your dry humor, tugging you further into his body. He stood like a beacon in front of you, strong and steady. Like the statue of liberty, but make it an entitled white man.

“You never told me what you wanted,” you pointed out. Nathan’s face was inches away from yours, closer than you probably should have let him get.

You could feel his breath on your lips when he said, “I want you to throw that fucking suitcase in an incinerator.”

You hum, considering. “It was an expensive suitcase,” you joke, but your voice is more thoughtful than jolly. His eyes are boring right into you, as if he’s got a read on your soul. Like he did write whatever internal code you might have, or is running PCR on every strand of DNA in your body.

“Don’t leave,” he tells you. It surprises you, so much so that you take a step back, but his grip tightens. “This,” he gestures to your being, the suitcase, “All of this is you projecting your own insecurities onto me–”

“You don’t want a baby,” you argue.

“Maybe not, but I’ve got one. I’ve got two,” he teased. Is it a tease when he doesn’t sound amused, and you aren’t amused, and everyone is all-around pissed off? “So do you want me to call the fucking wambulance, or what?”

Despite yourself, despite your urge to blame Nathan for everything going wrong in your life, you laughed, burying your head in the crux of his shoulder. “You really…I find it hard to believe you're not mad.”

“Oh, baby,” His voice was dripping with playful condescension, so like Nathan, “Why would a God be mad that he created life?”

You leaned into his embrace, relishing in the way the heat seeped from his body into yours.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you whispered, peering up into his eyes from where you were tucked into his shoulder. He tilted your chin up and pressed his lips to yours. As your tongue entangled with Nathan’s, you knew the answers to all of the questions that you would never ask and he would never answer. The two of you were going to be fine, and you were going to stay, and you might even throw your suitcase in an incinerator, if you were feeling extra silly.

I would literally rather have 0 notes than 5,000 likes and no reblogs.

#nathan bateman #nathan bateman fanfic #ex machina #reader insert #ex machina fanfic #nathan bateman angst #hurt comfort #happy ending #nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman fluff #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fanfic

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coeluvr · 2 years

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What’s one thing ROs are utterly incapable of doing without the help of someone else?

Fadiya can’t cook without using magic which annoys her so much she refuses to give up until she gets it right. She burns the food and the pan. Don't tell her to stop trying because she will try even harder and burn more things.

Helios has a hard time lying to his loved ones, but anyone that falls outside that category isn't a problem. He doesn’t feel bad bending the truth when it comes to strangers, especially if it ends with him getting what he wants.

Hunter sucks at time management. They need someone to help stick to a schedule, thankfully being Helios' shield occupies every minute of his life.

Soarine can't pick clothes to wear without spending hours on it the night before. She needs multiple opinions before she settles on one so don't ask her for advice because she will like all the options and never pick one.

Vincent can't dance. He's very stiff and just can’t seem to relax his body. Aside from that he thinks it's stupid and awkward, luckily for him no one asks him to dance because his face scares everyone away.

#coe answers #coaaf if: fadiya #coaaf if: helios #coaaf if: hunter #coaaf if: soarine #coaaf if: vincent #crown of ashes and flames #crownofashesandflames #crownofashesandflames if #interactive fiction

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bonefall · 1 year

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GRAYSTRIPE TIME! YES! I LOVE THE GUY!

Honestly one thing about TPB cast of apprentices that always sticks out to me is how they conform under the code. Dustpelt and Sandstorm are the conventional warriors while Fireheart, Graystripe and Ravenpaw are not. Ravenpaw has to flee the clans but even when it's safe to return he finds peace outside of the system.

But back to Graystripe specifically, his relationship with his two litters are wasted by the Erin's and in the case of his second it feels like they completely forgot being a father was important to him in the first arc? Like in the first arc it's implied fathers aren't involved with plenty of queens simply not stating a mate. Crookedstar and Graystripe are made out to be exceptions to the rule. Going with his kids to Riverclan is not even considered an option as its so unheard of. Then he starts a new family within the clan that he can be openly loving with and just... isn't? TPB Graystripe would NEVER.

There was so much potential. With Blossomfall specifically I wish she would keep her insecurity with both parents. What if SHE thought that Graystripe greived Feathertail more than he cared for her alive and in the same clan? That her and her siblings were second fiddle to his first litter?

TPB Graystripe's fatherhood was actually very present and special! It really is a shame that they shove him into the background of his second litter's personal struggles

And I really, really think it's because the Erins are both incapable of 'killing their darlings', AND will usually reach for a mother to be the problem in a relationship.

Rainflower, Lizardstripe, Millie, Cinders, Nightcloud, Sparkpelt*... even Palebird and Daisy get more scrutiny than their husbands, with Tallstar vowing to get revenge for his dad and feeling pushed aside by his mother getting a new mate, and Daisy having to feel guilty that SHE didn't make an effort to let Smoky feel like a dad.

*= ive written at length about how I like Sparkpelt's actions in ASC, but that doesn't mean she isn't part of a problematic trend, like Bristlefrost's death in TBC

When dads have problems in WC, they're generally framed as being more reasonable or sympathetic, like they were too permissive, or being undermined by their mate, or just... aren't blamed for being utterly absent.

So if Graystripe's kittens are having emotional problems? They just can't have Graystripe present because then, well, he might be somewhat responsible! So they just barely mention him, using Millie as the basis for Blossomfall's problems.

It reminds me so, so much of PO3 and how the minute Squirrelflight's Secret was out, Brambleclaw basically disowns his children, and that just never gets reckoned with. Because the narrative decides that he's right to be hurt, it decides that he's also totally right to treat every single person in his life the way that he does.

And it sucks! It sucks because there's SO MUCH you could do with this stuff! Graystripe having problems with his second litter because of his unresolved trauma surrounding Silverstream is INTERESTING. I WANT to see what he's thinking and feeling. I WANT to see him have issues with his kids, be conflicted between standing up for them or alienating Millie.

It's such a waste.

#Graystripe #Warrior Cats Analysis #All other issues of these situations aside...#I just really like Graystripe and I think he was largely wasted post-TNP #But in order to tell a story with him they need to be honest about him #And he's not this ultra-wise super respected amazing perfect warrior #He has issues and he always does what HE wants to do regardless of if it's best for the Clan or not #They didn't even frame his leaving ThunderClan in TBC as a super horrible thing #WHICH IT WAS #THEY NEEDED HIM AND HE WAS NOT THERE #BIG PROBLEM!!#''Graystripe you said you would support me...''#''Yes Squirrelflight but you are a woman in a position of power so... byee''#''now im just gonna casually go on that big journey across a mountain. I am 100 years old btw''#Can't even kill the guy without giving him an SE on the way out #(unfortunately graystripe's vow is a good book)

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yourturntosimp · 1 year

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can u pls do safamiley hcs:D

A/N: hiii,,,,how yall doinggg,,,happy summerrrrrr 💀💀💀 TWs: Manipulation, Guilt tripping, Degrading talk, Mention of/allusions to murder, General toxicity

♡ the gfs ever omg ♡ tbh i feel like they would be kinda on-edge around eachother if this was asu-naro era & before the actual game,,, ♡ like the whole thing is shady as all hell, so i can imagine them working with eachother but never fully trusting eachother in case one of them were to try to damage/sabotage the other’s research to make themself look better,,, ♡ that’s probably the thing that led them to be interested in eachother JHGFDS ♡ idk they seem deranged enough to let that be the driving force im ngl ♡ anyways they’re both 100% manipulating eachother and they think the other has no idea ♡ miley going out of her way to ruin safalin’s social life, because why not ruin the few opportunities she takes to be outgoing and talk to people? ♡ It means she’ll have to spend more time with miley, and also she won’t suffer the mortification of making a fool out of herself like the idiot she is! ♡ after all, what kind of a girlfriend would she be if she didn’t stop safalin from embarrassing herself and making it clear to everyone around how completely and utterly stupid she is? It’s a win for both of them, she’s just being nice <3 ♡ safalin, on the other hand, opts to guilt trip miley and incessantly cling onto her ♡ she’s just too useless & incapable of doing anything by herself! She’ll surely crumble and fall and just ruin everything if miley is away from her for too long, so maybe they should just stick together all the time! ♡ and if that doesn’t work, well…she can always just show her how capable she is as a caring girlfriend! ♡ miley just needs to…mysteriously catch some illness, is all! and safalin, with her knowledge in medicine, will come to her rescue! ♡ they both also get SUPER jealous ♡ the problem here is that they both like to make eachother jealous on purpose,,, ♡ safalin does it if she starts to worry that miley’s getting bored of her and doesn’t care for her anymore ♡ and yk miley wouldnt do shit to reassure her that this isn’t the case bc it keeps her dependant KJHGFCD ♡ miley does it because she likes seeing safalin’s reactions to it ♡ it’s just so fun, seeing that shattered look on her face be immediately replaced with the most potent rage she’s ever seen in her life! ♡ she doesn’t really care about whoever it was that she was using to make her girlfriend jealous…it just sucks that they always scream so loudly </3

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rainbowsky · 2 years

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have c-turtles ever really panicked about either one of the boys being involved with someone else? or is it just something mostly i-turtles do?

There are millions and millions of c-turtles, I can't possibly speak for all of them. Besides, I'm not a c-turtle so anything I say is just opinion and speculation.

But from what I have seen, for the most part - as a collective group - c-turtles aren't anywhere near as obsessive, insecure, or at times batshit nonsensical as i-turtles on certain platforms are. It's not even a contest.

I think that's likely at least in part because they have a much more centralized fandom than we have, and their fandom has developed well-respected norms and guidance around how to conduct oneself. They've developed a sort of culture around how things should be handled, and for the most part they stick to it.

Their fandom also has a lot more direct contact with - and therefore a lot more direct impact on - GG and DD. Everything they do has the potential to blow back on GG and DD. And they have a front row seat to how seriously fan behavior, rumors and bullshit can affect a star. They watch it happen in front of their eyes. So I suspect they take it all more seriously than i-turtles do, or at least show more restraint than i-turtles do.

I view it sort of similarly to the toxic effect that internet disassociation and anonymity have on interpersonal behavior. If someone/thing is experienced as an abstract concept rather than a real human being or real situation with real consequences, people feel infinitely more comfortable being awful and unhinged. In the same sense, if GG and DD are just an abstract concept - these cute fictional characters somewhere far away - turtles are much more comfortable with engaging in fandom in toxic ways.

Why am I focusing on fan culture when you asked if c-fans buy into dating rumors as much as i-fans do? Because I feel like there is a direct relationship between fan culture/rationality and the tendency to buy into bullshit anti rumors on social media.

Quite frankly, there are i-fans who are so incapable of understanding GG and DD as real humans, who are so utterly caught up in FOMO and social media hype, and who are so incapable of learning from their past experiences or curating their online experience, that this is what we end up with as an i-fandom.

Are there c-turtles who get sucked into stupidity? Sure, absolutely. But those c-turtles are mostly marginal in that fandom compared to i-fandom. Here, toxic idiots massively dominate the day-to-day on certain platforms, and they actively teach and train other people to be just as stupid and toxic as them.

Look at the phony 'insider info' accounts on Twitter that spread so much bullshit. The worst one has over 25k followers. Look at YouTube, where the worst YZ/BJYX accounts always have the most followers. This is just the 'elephant in the room' in terms of the i-fandom, unfortunately.

#fandom reflections #bxg perspectives #twitter is a cesspool #ask

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rowingupstream · 10 months

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I can do serious amounts of exercise if it is slow. A stroll. A saunter. Resting when my heart rate goes up even the tiniest bit - that usually makes me dizzy and nauseous and I start having trouble breathing (not...literally? It just gets so uncomfortable I start holding my breath or breathing shallowly). What I do is not what most people consider hiking, or even walking for exerciize. But I can climb 40 km up a mountain in a day, doing that. And yet I can't hike even a short hike with a group. I have to stick to my own pace.

Recently I've taken up biking. I'm hesitant - if I fall and break something, it won't heal right. They never do. But it's so much healthier and cheaper - I can't walk fast enough to commute or go shopping without a car, but I think I actually could switch from a car to a bike? Perhaps an ebike? It's so pleasant to bike. Today I did 12km- just lovely, utterly lovely. But I read that on hills you should switch to a low gear with almost no resistance and pedal fast to maintain speed, so the one hill I hit I tried that - I almost threw up. I was too dizzy to walk. It was a half mile to a convenience store where I could buy a sports drink and getting there took over an hour, even though it was downhill and I let the bike carry me most of the way. I downed 60-odd ounces of electrolyte filled liquid and then suddenly felt perfectly fine. Dehydration or a new symptom? I've been wondering if the dizziness vertigo if heart rate rises stuff might be me developing POTS.

The problem is that I get so little warning that I'm approaching a physical limit. I'm fine and then boom I am incapable of even walking or thinking or talking. Everything hurts. But actually I can't tell if there is no warning that it is coming, or if I just trained myself to ignore it. I think some of it is that, as a person with chronic pain, I've taught myself to ignore it. To just barrel by it. Stuff has to be done! Laying in bed doesn't help and often makes it worse! (Sometimes it hurts so much, or my muscles feel so weak, or I feel like I can't think or process so badly that I give up on getting out of bed for a day or two - there is a reason I keep several liters of water and snacks next to the bed - but usually I just tell myself to pain is a lie and do whatever.)

It seems so impossible to explain: yes I was bragging about a 40km hike last month but I don't want to go 3 km with you next weekend. Yes I can bike 12 km today but yesterday I couldn't get out of bed. How do I ask an employer for accommodations for that? It makes no sense! I can't even explain it to my friends and family.

On the better side of things - once upon a time my joints hurt so much I cried on the way to work every day because the vibrations of the car hurt my wrists (and ankles and knees) so much. That is pretty much gone, thanks to meds. I can drive, ride planes and trains, whatever. When I first started biking a few weeks ago, my wrists and fingers would get tingly like they were falling asleep, and I'd stop early to keep from irritating them into an inflammation flare up. That has mainly gone away - my wrists hurt sometimes but more of a "twisted a bit wrong and it pulled a bit" way than nerves misfiring or bones grinding. Having that bit of extra muscle from riding a bike semi regularly seems to be really helping. I never managed that by putting on arm muscle at the gym - doing weights and stuff - but apparently putting on muscle in this specific way works for me.

#sjogrens #chronic pain #ankylosing spondylitis

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beigeshiba · 10 months

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I love this political compass meme so much. Of all of them, it speaks deeply to my soul. Pretty much the only thing it'd need to be perfect is a grey crying centrist soyjack captioned "If we keep going the way we are now long enough, the consequences will form the apocalypse myth of the new religion of the tiny remnant of humanity which survives" See that blue one? That was me getting a fucking clue during covid. Hanging out with Indians and Turks was pretty much the main thing that kept me from losing my mind entirely and attempting a necromantic ritual to bring Temujin and Pol Pot back from the dead and unleash them upon a Melbourne that I felt sorely deserved their tender ministrations.

Because all the brown people understood that what was going on was bullshit while it felt like 90%+ of white people were all like "FOLLOWING ORDERS IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP US ALIVE WE MUST FOLLOW ALL OF THE ORDERS ALL OF THE TIME OR ELSE WE'LL DIE! THIS IS SOMEHOW PREFERABLE TO DYING"

That was another important realisation I had during the Covid lockdowns. I figured out where the hell the line was drawn in terms of "Circumstances of living I would regard as preferable to death". And you know, it's awfully liberating understanding consciously what you would prefer to die than endure on an indefinite basis. Because if you are the sort of person who will tolerate anything just in order to stay alive then eventually you will find yourself having to tolerate just about anything, because people who can tell you feel that way, will exploit that.

Being willing to die gives you power over people, never forget that.

What this ultimately has to do with me being politically "Catholic" is that to me, the Roman Church offers the ability for both the Blue and Red quadrants to get what they want.

Catholicism is a religion that simultaneously promotes both the focus on charity, compassion and equity that Red Quadrant (at their best) is trying to achieve, while also having the focus on Family, Hierarchy and Tradition that Blue Quadrant (at their best) is trying to achieve.

And if you've ever been to different Catholic parishes, you'll notice: The more trad it is, the younger and more ethnically diverse the parishoners. If you're wanting a more traditional lifestyle, you gotta learn to love multiculturalism. If you want a more charitable and equitable society which recognises the dignity of workers, you gotta learn to love religion.

As for bottom quadrants, sorry fellas as far as I can tell, y'all are shit outta luck. Karl Popper with his "Paradox of Tolerance" already made it abundantly clear that open societies will inevitably undermine the very social foundations required for them to perpetuate because they will just keep letting in people who aren't interested in living that way.

It's actually kinda hilarious seeing Popper Gang focus with laserlike intensity on the "Nazis and Chuds" and being too busy othering and fetishising migrants they let in to understand these are mostly people who find liberalism to be decadent and alienating. What we have now is incoherent screeching about (insert minority here) "White Supremacists" and that's too little, too late. You already brought in the people that Team Blue will bring into victory, to own Team Blue. Thanks Team Green, you really gave us the what for! As for Team Yellow, yeah that's a realisation I came to after I left university, started working in private enterprise and very quickly came to the unpleasant realisation that corporations are owned by sociopaths who simultaneously fancy themselves as the absolute rulers of their own private little fiefdom, while being utterly incapable of governing themselves in anything remotely approaching a sustainable fashion. Capitalism's mostly been able to function adequately due to government regulators being able to get out the bonk stick when companies do stuff which undermines the specific economic, social and legal environment required for market based economies to function. Lately there's been way too few companies getting bonked and way too many companies doing things which deserve a good thrashing so don't get too attached to capitalism, kids, it's going away! As Marylin Manson said: Capitalism has made it this way, old fashioned fascism will take it away! He was really only wrong about the old fashioned bit. Turns out fascism doesn't need to be socially conservative at all, it's actually just as happy murdering people for corporate profit when wrapped in a pride flag as it is when doing so with a Swastika.

#catholicism #political compass

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