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#just to make sure i aint making it up. esp cause i feel like im being stupidly jealous bout this
medicaltechnician · 5 months
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idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)
problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.
I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.
I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.
But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?
So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)
#ker talks#it’s strange nowadays i feel like when i reach out im being annoying or smth#whether im reaching out for positive stuff or negative#when i do i rarely get a satisfactory response in my mind. feels like i’m being brushed off.#or ya know i’d like to hold a conversation thats got some meat to it? but it fizzles out#shit wondering if my bestie even wants to talk to me.#last time I came over I was hoping to watch jerma together and we did-ish. he sort of was textin/interacting with his crush#or just on his phone idk. call me a boomer but it bugs me when people r on their phone in a one on one situation#I understand if it’s a bigger group or if ya just checking it#but it seemed fuckin constant. it sucked. shit.#its worse when we get high together esp since i only get high alone so i tend to scroll a bit too#but itd be nice if when we got high we did stuff together esp in person next time we hang out i’ll keep note of this stuff and bring it up#just to make sure i aint making it up. esp cause i feel like im being stupidly jealous bout this#i see him interact with others? whats different bout me. he said he feels comfortable actually unmasking round me#and i know interaction drains him and fuck he went through so much and is trying his hardest to stay alive and sane rn#so idk i dont want to put more on his plate. but its fucking me up a bit too.#hell one of the things we went thru together. reacted differently and affected differently cause slightly different situations.#its honestly one of my working theories on why we drifted cause we keep reminding eachother of that night by interacting.#it sucks. alot. i dont want to be reminded of my failures. of the fact it traumatized him so fuckinf deeply and i failed.#and then i feel guilty for even feeling like shit bout the event cause i didnt have /that/ happen to me i just happrned to be there.#i need a goddamn professional to sort this out. it sucks ass. and i hate that it fuels my self hate#both to do with my inability to protect and feeling insignificant. overshadowed. thats the worse feeling of it all.
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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OP your addtion about the Harbinger's reaction? Sent me wheezing to the moon 🤣🤣💀
I dont have any additions to Teyvat language yet (other anons have a more in depth explanations while mine is just shitposts wheEZE--) but I did have an idea for a Genshin AU.
I'm pretty sure everybody has heard about the blue alien people Avatar. Tribal people from another planet. (Also I just stumbled upon the forests of Sumeru while going through Chasm quests. The one that has giant mushrooms).
Imagine Genshin in the Avatar Au. Sumeru can be based on the first movie (It fits cause from what I can explore of Sumeru reminds me of the time I watched Avatar of the first time. Pure awe and wonder..) While the Water nation can be based on the 2nd movie, Hoyoverse hasnt released the name of the Water Country yet so we're just waiting. Mondstadt can be based on the upcoming 3rd (4th or 5th? Idk they had it lined up) movie that involves being high above the clouds. Kind of like the Jade palace or the Floating Abode in the serenitea pot.
Its all I could base for now since the other movies dont have that much info yet to be paired with Genshin's countries.
Bonus idea that randomnly popped into my head:
Still going with this Au but its sagau themed. Creator!Reader arrives to Teyvat and is considered as Eywa
NOW THIS
THIS IS AN ✨️IDEA✨️
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I just want u to know i feel b l e s s e d that u put this in MY ask box , when this coulda been a whole post of ur own 💖💖🙏🙏
WARNING: So i havent seen the new movie, just the og Avatar one, and i totally loved that concept about Eywa and how their world works so ill refresh myself but if theres any new lore from the 2nd movie i aint got it yet 💁 srry babs
🎵 FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVED ON THE PLANEETTT
AND STEPPED OUT BLINKING INTO THE SUN
AND THE SUN ROSE HIGH IN A SAPPHIRE SKY
ITS THE CIRRRRCCCLLLEEE OF LIFFFFEEEE 🎵
^ except ur like the life itself bc ur god now
Thats why i put that there
This AU radiates that energy
BRO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT U MENTIONIMG THE COOL CHASM STUFF AND PICKED THAT GIF ALL ON MY OWN
BC I THOUGHT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE EYWA TREE IN GENSHIN ITS THAT BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM GOD
ANYWAYS-
So I accidentally posted this too early so keep refreshing or coming back bc if theres no "♡the beloveds♡" im still updating this then LMAO
SRRY GUYS
So anon's a genius and i could listen to u talk about this all day
I fucking love combining world building or lore together
Esp like making one the AU or just the setting like u said with Avatar worlds as settings and same characters-
EEEEEE U ARE EYWA- YESSSSS YESSSSSS I AM YOUR GOD BITCHES!!! SUCK ON MY BIG FAT MAN TIDDIES BITCHES RAHHHHH /REF
So they deffo use "Eywa" as a term for you instead of your name
Honestly, before when u were a mysterious af planet creature thing (lets say u get isekaied there i mean)
Nobody rlly knew if u even could take a mortal form or even thought of that as a concept
I feel like the younger generations immortals and Teyvat's current countries kinda think of you Eywa as more of a passive entity life force thing
Rather than the older immortals and creatures that had seen thru eons or over the course of a couple thousand years
That u were very aware and intelligent
Not that ur energy or aura didnt tell them that alone
So a little deeper into the Teyvat lore here but i dont see anybody else talking about it so I will
Originally, it was the Seven Sovriegns and you, and eventually Phanes and their Four Shades,
And they literally all quickly came to realize u literally made this planet and began to start the first traditions of worshipping you!
Like putting gifts or hand made goods at the base
(Ppl have also gotten a tradition from Morax/Rex Lapis and Guizhong and other adepti to leave birthday letters to offer you, which ties into what i say below⬇️)
Ya know,
Eywa the tree could even be a sort of source to the eyes of Teyvat of what you look like while u were playing the game
Like how Eywa's little jellyfish reach ppl in the forest and shit? I think?
So like i would imagine that whatever u make certain vessels or acolytes do most often, is what they think they should offer u :0
Claymore users give u gemstones and ores
Bow users give u hunted game like fowl, or the treasure from puzzles that required arrows (like those bursting blue balloons?)
Catalysts and Polearms give u all kinda of crazy shit lmao
Bc they can be used for a vareity of things
Bc of ur player status and abilities, people of Teyvat attribute a gain in power or talents or whatnot to you, Eywa
So say u actually physically there now, and u just wake up under the coolest sickest tree youve ever seen in ur life
Omg could u imagine????
Seeing Teyvat irl? But AVATAR WORLD IRL???!!!
You would stand there lookin around like a drunk fuck for like 20 minutes, maybe longer lmao
Its just so ✨️pretty✨️ here
Also the tree itself just feels like, the equivalent to ur bedroom basically but like specifically if it was hella comfy and like just the way u want it (all the decor is up, the floor is clean, u got like hot choco on ur desk, theres a candle burning, etc.)
Oh so since ur like weirdly connected to the land, like u know how theres a voice line abt walking in that glowing aranara part of Sumeru and ur steps light up?
I saw that too in the OG avatar movie
So i feel like u would have a map with ALLLLL the peoples on it and little icons
U can focus on just vision users or bosses or big nature things like Dragonspine
Oh so Eywa can control all animals and whatnot and so u as a mortal person can too
So anytime theres a threat u can deadass just become a pokemon trainer LMAO
Ok but think how badass it would be to just like,
Get the Primo Geovishap or Giant Bird Jadeplume Terror thingy to just leave their territory and wipeout some mfs
(coughunknowngodasomodaycough)
It would be fucking amazing
Unrelated to above bc im just spitting out ideas srry guys
but like
I feel like if u were a lifeforce sort of ancient eldritch god for the entire goddamn continent of Teyvat let alone the whole planet-
You would have to maintain said continent/planet
Like, make sure the Irminsul is growing okay, protect from mfs like Dottore,
Stop diasters if ur Eywa too, esp bc u can hear prayers now, and would hear ppl crying out to help them geez
while the prayers of the many kinda just glob together to form the major "feeling" of the prayer for most creatures,
Vision users, gods, ancient creatures u can get their exact sentences
Basically more magic = better heard to connect with u
Oh u know, i could even see it being even more manual or personal labor bc ur not like a tree connected to ur roots thruout the world technically
Like if volcanoes erupt in Natlan, the archon and gods there help and u r also wanted/needed in person for it to work
U would still be powerful, but yeah like say the tree was u just playing genshin before,
The game automatically regulated diasters and stuff other than what was supposed to happen in game
So kinda bouncing off that I read smwhere that the Na'vi dont actually view Eywa as like omnipotent or omniscient
(like the God™️ from the Christian bible for a example of what your not)
And also! Dont blame/attribute natural diasters, plagues, or other bad stuff on Eywa
So good for you whew 💦
Ur actually supposed to kinda just be the collective lifeforce or Teyvat/world and nature, and a defender and guide of life :0
Which kinda fits with the whole "upgrading characters" thing actually
Okay but I saw somewhere in SAGAU tag someone did another name instead of Creator to spice it up and its "All-Mother"
And interestingly, Eywa in Avatar is also called that and "Great Mother"!!
How fun :0
Also, the reason Eywa still got people with free-will is bc they kinda described the relationship to Eywa being something like a mother or parent
Maybe where name/titles came from ig?
Either way, ppl be calling u all types of nicknames u aint heard before lmao
I mean ur sacred, they dont just say ur name,
Nobody knows ur real name or what u call yourself
Just what they call u
Bc they couldnt communicate with u super well before, (the bday letters were the closest they got verbally, and even then they had to be addressed somewhat to ur first vessel the traveler to get thru/be seen)
Otherwise yeah u operating them lets say before on Earth you rlly felt like an eldritch nature deity 💀
Cause u guide them in battles, strengthen their talents and skills and bodies, and feed them food
If they were in battle like needing healing food, u help them heal by consuming it for them so they dont have to take a snack break in battle and
Let me tell u, these denizens of Teyvat who have to constantly deal with magic and monsters and abyss stuff, so a stroll outside ur house gets u in a fight...
...They are very grateful for that needless to say.
Plus i like to think u make fighting easier on them bc ur "guiding" their bodies
Anyway thats a long winded way to say, help me think of all the names Teyvat's given you lmao:
Eywa
All-Mother / Great Mother
All-Father / Great Father
All-Parent? / Great Parent
Creator
Their Grace
Great Puppeteer
The Puppeteer
Soul of Teyvat
Greatest Soul
She aint long bc im not that creative and this idea has sm potential too😔
I would love to be Eywa sounds fun and powerful af and i dont get expected to be Jesus and they know i dont cause the natural diasters, like that sounds nice
Aight im no genius and this writing feels like im just rambling like a drunk guy sittin on the sidewalk mumbling to myself, i had to stop writing 💀
Like that energy specifically-
So lmk if yall got any other cool titles or names :0
I couldn't think of anymore :/
Also srry about the updating this post and making u check back in if u already read this before i put the taglist
(Me putting the taglist means im done editing/writing this dw if u seein this)
Cheers,
🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡my beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
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cassyapper · 11 months
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I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way because I absolutely love Kakyoin's effeminacy and wouldn't get rid of it ever, but it sometimes feels like that one word being in his bio forever doomed him to people being weird about him bc while the traits are undeniably there, he's not really that much more effeminate than other jojo characters, yet they seemingly don't suffer this same sorta weirdness. Ofc people are weird for other reasons, but Kakyoin's femininity seems to be one of those key things. I sometimes wonder how much less prevalent the gay femboy trophy husband interpretation of him would be if that wasn't there.
Again sorry if that comes off wrong. I'm not sure how else to word that thought atm (it's really late here and my brain doesn't wanna function)
no honestly i super agree anon dont worry i get exactly what you're saying here. i agree it feels like people saw that single part of his bio and didnt care to even finish the fuckin sentence it was in which was "he may appear to be effeminate, but in reality, he hates submitting and sucking up to others". he is a character built on complementary contradictions but people hate nuance (esp in fandom spaces) more than anything so they pick one side and run with it and NEITHER on its own is right and ugh. it pisses me off. and since im involved in (non-reddit) fandom spaces i (and i assume u) see the gay femboy trophy husband the most and it's just exhausting honestly cause it's just so ooc. and is imo indicative of larger societal issues about how people see gnc men, particularly asian men, but it is also very late for me in my timezone so i aint gonna get into all that
basically my point is: i get what ur saying. i love kakyoin's femininity and i love it being written explicitly so i can own the dudebros who try to say he wouldnt wear a dress or skirt or whatever, but i also hate that it was written explicitly cause now we have clamp and such fellow-minded people and it's exhausting cause it makes so many people unable to be normal about kakyoin
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coconoct · 9 months
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honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr
a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so
pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly
before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho
countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch
still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that
nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)
glb nocti's countdown
draw every char up to latest one in cn
a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now
basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely
will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things
ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.
if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀
pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked
theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol
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storiesofsvu · 1 year
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Happy thursday.
fair warning, if you care about svu spoilers at all, make sure you're staying FAR away from social media until you've watched it.
WOOF
spoilers under the cut for all three l&o's and not really for CME, but just some minor thoughts
Thursday Thursday… here we go!
As usual Ayanna looking like a fucking bomb snack in her suits
Ian doyle get your crusty ass face off my fucking tv. Like, im literally writing Emily fic as I’m watching organized crime, this is NOT THE TIME.
Okay, not surprised the snitch is already dead.
Ah… and we’re back to the sleazy casino manchild. Amazing.
The more we find out about jet, the more I love her.
Wait… bobby’s MARRIED??!? Did we know this already and I just forgot or is this new information? Or is the new info just that he’s married to a mob boss’s niece?
Okay also…the mob boss woman was in the once upon a time in el barrio svu ep.. that’s where I know her from…
LOL to Jamie little white kid freaking over the food and bigger LOL to them having a giant pile of containers to take with him…
Murphy’s accent keeps slipping in and out which is weird cause the actor is irish… then again, if he’s been living in the us for that long it probably does that anyways
The girl playing Rika has defs been on svu before… but im not complaining… she’s hot.
Yeah she was in s19.
Bobby’s such a lil cutie.
“I deserve a lot more than that. But you’re going to spend it on me. Dinner, maybe some jewels…”  “buy you a house if it means I get to come home to you.”  ….things to file away for future fic inspo….
Jet… omg.. I love you.
Okay… but like… jet was being flirted with by a KNOWN gangster ,one who clearly wanted more time with her, whether that is pure intention or not (cause out on the street he did seem a bit genuine, esp once murphy showed up) and like, yes I get that she’s a cop, but WHY would she be left to walk to her car alone late at night. Like, im not talking police escort, but at the very least a “security” from the club or a bartender or anything like… there are some bars that don’t let their service staff walk to their cars alone….
Okay, im actually invested in this arc…  weird.
Now we’re onto mothership. Will I pay attention or will I focus on the prentiss smut I’m working on? Only time will tell!!
Shouldn’t this be a special victims case?
Cops walking up to a suspect muttering “don’t run, don’t run, don’t run.” Will always be hilarious to me.
“these Zumba classes are not working…”  “…I did all the running.” LOOOL that is some quality partner banter. Love it.
I literally just said “where tf are this kid’s parents.”  Like… he’s under 18..
God this is one of those cases that just has curveball after curveball…
Wait… barba upped a case to reckless endangerment and rita’s response was “really, now we’re talking felonies?!” but now RE means no jail time?? Brb while I go google some shit. Okay… It looks like its first degree vs second degree. I’ll accept that.
Samantha maroun and rita Calhoun go on shopping sprees together and I will not accept notes on this. They’re both always so colourful.
I feel like this case would be a super hard one to take to trial… like that jury is gonna be deadlocked no matter what, it would so likely be a mistrial.
Damn these lawyers are fucking smart and know their shit. Good job.
Holy FUCK another curveball. Damn. This is old school writing. Bless.
 Okay, svu time. I don’t know if I’m prepared. (and not because I ship it…)
Still cant get over that Oscar papa is a fucking TWINK
Awwwee sonny… sweet sonshine. I fucking miss you. Wish you were around more often.
Wow… timing.. Seriously? We couldn’t even get sonny in the room?? He had to zoom in? wtf?!
This aint the first time a perp has threatened her son.. like.. she aint fucking around anymore
Also… the fact that they were *actually* going for noah is terrifying and makes it like, so much more worse?!
Fuck.. Velasco… ive missed you…
A phoebe mention!! Can we see her again pls?
Still haven’t decided if I like Bruno or not. Wouldn’t be mad if he joined the team cause lort knows they need a bigger squad. Also really liked that other Bronx detective
Okay.. note on the commercial break… they’re making ANOTHER magic mike??? Is channing tatum that desperate for money??
LOL the “let me call you amanda from now on” line followed by “alright well tell carisi I’ll be home late.” Omg. Fin. Best one liners.
“all you white boys look alike to me” LOL.
Bruno my man, why TF you carrying around that much cash?!?
Yes… THIS ONE! The black girl detective from the bronx. I want more of her.
HANDS! Joe.. jfc calm yourself
Churlish! Okay… imma try to remember that name
….im assuming we’re not getting any muncy in this ep
YEESSS VELASCO playing dirty fake UC (well… kinda…) this should not be as hot as it is…
OH MY GOD ARE WE ACTUALLY IN COURT?! IT’S A FUCKING MIRACLE.
Man… testifying/prosecuting/being on the jury in a gang related case like this, like, my anxiety would be through the fucking roof for the rest of my life…
Im over here still trying to figure out just how dirty joe was playing? Like, if he was gonna go that bad why do it in front of a cop he doesn’t know that well. Like yeah maybe he has a hook with mcgrath but im just wary of shit rn. He’s not that ballsy….
Okay, this isn’t the first time that liv has made threats like this, and it wont be the last.
Yeah.. still so confused about joe… like he *knows* what he’s doing…. Right? Like at first I lowkey thought it was the two of them playing good cop bad cop like liv & Elliot used to back in the day.
“that an invitation?” DUARTE WOW WAY TO BE FUCKING BOLD (would probs prefer that to eo tbh)
Theyre flirting your honour
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!!? I legit wish you could see my face rn. WOW SVU WAY TO FUCKING GO DARK THERE IS ONLY 10 MINS LEFT OF THIS SHIT AND THAT INCLUDES COMMERCIALS WOOOWW
 Are you fucking with me???
Wow… okay.. noted… pray for anyone named Mike on SVU
(but is he actually dead..  or is this gonna be a witsec thing?)
I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE HIM DAMMIT
Oscar’s got mommy issues… that checks
Okay well they prosecuted him for murder so… duarte’s dead… wow..
Her new apartment is gorgeous
Did we really have to go all dutch tilt for this scene?
LOOOOOLLL omg that promo had y’all fucking freaking your shit out and it turned into nothing. God bless. So proud of liv for saying no, that she can’t. like, not only did unstabler bring it up at a time that she was probably hella vulnerable, feeling the relief that she/noah were finally safe, like that’s gonna have her releasing emotions she didn’t even realize she was feeling. And then on top of that, someone, a friend.. a flirtatious friend maybe? Coworker? The SECOND person she’d worked closely with named mike be murdered a moment after she left their side, holds herself responsible. Like that is NOT the time to try to fucking kiss her my man. That is the time to wrap her in a hug, tell her that things will eventually be okay and let her cry into your shoulder, a light kiss on the head at most. Jfc. Read the room.
circling back to duarte.. they SERIOUSLY couldn't bother paying molly for like a half day of work to be in the waiting room? he was her captain.. she would be there...
ANYWAYS.
Uh,… CME summary?
Episode was meh. Like literally meh. I have basically zero good or bad points about it. AJ’s kids are so grown up now. JJ looks hot af as usual, and gay af, like the reboot really said “okay, jj is also gonna be secretly gay, don’t tell will”. Sick of the will they wont they with will being sick/dying, lets not tease this shit anymore. Also sick of the wardrobe dept giving Prentiss the exact same shirt in like 4 diff colours to wear and that’s it. Also please let Emily say fuck again. Also JJ. And Tara. Let the women swear pls. it’s not fair Rossi got the first like.. three… let’s hope next week is better!
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crimsongrimoire · 1 year
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what are some of your favorite tropes sentences sayings phrases reoccurring processions of words in fics, either to read or write? Specifically like how in my opinion "fuck me until I can't X" and "nestled until they fell asleep" have such vibes?
and, are there any that you want to throw right in the trash? Like how "fuck my womb" makes my stomach feel moist (derogatory)
i haven't read much of anything fic wise in a While but some things stick with you idk. I could ctrl + f through my fics to find in depth stuff regarding writing but ill just go off the cuff
Good™️:
the ones mentioned are also extremely good actually. the vibes are there
i was actually thinking the other night about how weirdly horny the word ache is? i have no idea how to articulate it. it just Is. throb also. the vibes.
"come over here and do something about it" about literally anything
usage of the phrase "getting [one's] knees dirty" in the context of like. oral. hear me out. there's something about it
pay attention/eyes on me/look at me kind of stuff. the inherent homoeroticism of redirecting the attention of the object of your affections idk
one calling the other Theirs to a third party
for a non horny one, "you really don't need to worry about me" / "I DONT CARE IF I NEED TO IM GOING TO CAUSE YOU CLEARLY DONT! BE CAREFUL!!"
for klk specifically. light/dark symbolism. sun/moon symbolism. star symbolism. drives me insane affectionate
"keep moaning my name like that" and related phrases
i never feel like i do them enough justice consistently to have posted one but like. soft aftercare is so everything
shovel talks are endearing tbh. as with anything it depends on the execution but like conceptually i like them
"I beg your pardon?" / "then beg" is it cheesy and kinda dumb. for sure. however. it's funny
trash:
that one too, mostly because. like. that aint how that works. that would Hurt. and any talk of pregnancy really. "im gonna knock you up" type shit. like... just. don't. it's not sexy, esp as someone who doesn't want kids nor the ability to have them really its just. why... i don't get what's sexy about it. and the fact that oftentimes it's never been something tagged in consideration of. like yall have fun however that kills my investment and would likely make me wish i didn't start whatever I was reading. cringe inducing at best
hot take: yanderes as a general concept. always has been severely not my thing. everyone have fun, i honestly just find it annoying. immediate filter out of any results of whatever im looking at, full stop. there's a handful in some games and such i like and i straight up ignore those characters unironically I have zero time for that in my life. i bring it up cause it tends to be shoehorned into like ANY big weeby fandom SOMEWHERE
ngl it's hard to think of specific phrases i really haven't read anything in a while. i personally dislike the word chuckle idk. i don't mind seeing it places but it feels weird in my own writing. same goes for Most Words For Pussy, The Biggest Reason Why I Haven't Written Basically Any Femslash, All The Words Just Suck And It Feels Weird.
minor grammatical pet peeve actually. slightly bothered when dialogue tags are misused. like. "dialogue," she smiled. putting an expression after a comma rather than articulating anything about how it was said at all. like either close the statement and have that be unrelated or add some kind of other descriptor to the speech. slight but noticeable to me
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ladies, gentlemen, cisgenders;
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kewltie · 4 years
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omfgggg pregnant!deku. imagine where no. 1 hero is not only an omega but is pregnant and it's still early in his first trimester so he's running around kicking ass but IT'S DEKU so ppl frets and worry over his safety that even villains r like uh i dont wanna mess w/ that. deku is like ridiculously popular & well like even among criminal bc he believes in 2nd chances & rehab of the criminals/villains & fight for disenfranchised youths who fell on the wrong side of the track. so yea, they fight against him but they're also kinda soft for him!!!
so when they found out their fav hero is pregnant & still patrolling there's like some super-secret nonverbal agree among them that they won't stop doing what they are doing but like,,,, nobody fucking touch deku ok or you'll deader than dead. which is ALL KIND OF HILARIOUS bc deku coming to a bank robbery & the criminals doesnt stop their crime but when they fight him, they're like super careful w/ him making sure he doesn't get knock back, fall, or hurt himself too much.
when deku finally captured them and as they're about to taken away, they happily congratulated him on his pregnancy & ask if he'd thought of names yet & one of them is like, "oh, when my husband was pregnant eating X & Y really help with the nausea." and izuku is like,,, thanks???
there's like so many ppl invested in deku's pregnancy that it bizarre bc he's not the first or the last omega to ever be pregnant but he's deku, prohero, no.1 rank, and symbol of hope. all that means is there's a hyper fixation on everything about him esp now that he's pregnant. talk shows, news channel, & celeb gossip show are all talking about it one way or another. whether he's should take an early leave of work or not bc of the danger of his job, the baby's sex, his pregnancy craving, bump watch (I KNOW), & even a countdown to his due date.
the entire country is in a baby fever just bc of deku. everybody talk obsessively about it & even if you find that one person who does not care they def know someone who does. all this happen while deku just go about his day like all of Japan isnt watching his every move lol. the strangest thing about deku's pregnancy is that there's no sign of the other parent?? deku isnt even dating anyone. he never mention any alpha AT ALL, only declaring that he plans to raise his baby all by himself as a single parent which blew their fucking mind bc wtfffff.
look, deku is the most famous omega around, sitting high atop of the world as the no. 1 hero & is adore by the mass--he's greatest omega of his generation some would say so yea there's lot of expectation & hope place on him but deku is deku & he does what he wants. ppl speculate that maybe he's pregnant bc he had a one night stand and this was accident, maybe he has been in a secret relationship all this time, maybe this baby was from a spurned lover or WORST yet a produce of rape... LIKE there's so many rumor swirling around but the answer is actually v v v simple. deku has always wanted a child and since he's nearing 30 right now, he thought it's hightime he has one and the other father? JUST A DONOR. it's nothing serious or complicated as ppl imagine to be.
deku wants a kid and now he has one!! but ppl just can't comprehend how it could be that simple when the most notoble omega in all of japan decide he wants a kid W/O having a mate and he's going to raise this baby all by himself and nope he's not even going to quit his job at ALL to have a family. deku is just--blowing their mind lol
the world doesn't so much get over it as they just kinda get dragged along bc deku does not give a single fuck wut other think and proceed to be immersed in his pregnancy and try to survive the next 6 months while everyone waited on bated breath to see what deku does next. the only thing that stick is the constant rumor mill of who is the donor of deku's baby. they assume that deku wouldn't just pick a stranger bc he's sentimental like that so speculations run amok about every alpha that is closely associate with deku.
there are public polls, betting rings w/ billions on the line, televised debates, internet flame wars, and ACTUAL ARGUMENTS B/T FAMILY/FRIENDS/COWORKERS on who the fuck is deku's donor! even more than deku's baby, they're fucking obsessed on finding out who is the actual donor. the thing is it's not THAT big of a secret. all of class A are in the loop, his mom know (ofc), and even his agency but they all managed to keep it a secret bc deku's privacy is the utmost important & beside the other father would literally MURDER them if it ever get expose.
this is how it went: bullied by his pr team, deku went on a variety show where they have to babysit kids & put through various childbearing challenge while cameras record them for entertainment purpose. It's there when deku realized "ah, I WANT THIS. I WANT THIS V BADLY." deku is climbing close to his 30 now, he's well established presence in the hero world, and his life is pretty stable so it's high time he have his own little family but the thing is babies are two ppl business. they don't just come from thin air so deku did the next best thing.
katsuki would like to say he didn't see this coming the same way you would not expect to be attack by a shark on land, but in this case deku is that fucking shark & katsuki is the idiot that get completley blindsided by him when deku cornered him one day and asked for his sperm.
ok, bakudeku aint dating. they have deep & complicated history that is not only confusing o everybody else but also confusing to them. 'friend' would be to light of a word but anything else is left undefined bc how do you explain more than 2 decades of w/e they are to each other. katsuki doesn't want to talk about the amount of time he'd used image of deku to get off while in rut just so he can survive through it, while the next few days trying to resist punching deku in the face bc he act like a sacrificial idiot who got a cross he wants to bear.
it's not 100% healthy his therapist unhelpfully pointed out but the core of all his volatile feelings have always been named deku & katsuki doesn't know how to compartmentalize it properly bc katsuki may have squashed to something small & insignificant but it's heavy & permanent. so when deku laid his fucked up request at katsuki's feet, he broke the table they were using and nearly walked out if deku didn't catch him by the arm in time.
"kacchan, pls here me out first," deku begged of him, his sweet permeating the air; he's NOT PLAYING FAIR AT ALL. whoever said alphas are the dominate sex in the world have never met an omega, a determine goal focus omega with babies on the brain like deku.
"kacchan, recently i realized that im only getting older so i want a child when i still can," deku explained. "so won't you help me? i know settling down right now is the farthest thing from your mind, but im not asking you anything like that," he continued as katsuki quietly fumed in the background. "i just want your help in making this selfish wish of mine come true. you're among my top choices, kacchan."
Katsuki jerked up. "wait, you mean to say there's a fucking list of alphas you plan to extort their sperm from?" he seethed, feeling like deku had took a goddamn knife to his pride and butcher it completely. "how many other ppl have you asked before you even came to me?!"
"im not extorting anything from anyone." Deku frowned. "and, well, you always lectured me about diving head first w/o any backup plans," he pointed out, "so i made sure to leave several options open just in case the first one fell through. see? i did thought this one thru."
katsuki nearly broke another piece of furniture at the thought of deku asking someone else to father his child as though he was just another face in a long list of ppl deku could use. "What did every alpha on ur shitty list rejected u already so now have to come to me for help?"
deku, who was no.1 for a reason, narrowed his eyes and the air crackled around them. "kacchan, this is extremely important to me so i wouldnt just chose anyone. i only know a handful of alphas i can trust and someone im happy to share the other half of my child with. you're the 1st person that came to my mind when i thought about a child growing inside of me," he said, wrapping his arm around his flat tummy. "despite our many differences you're the one i admire the most. your strength & ambition, grounded by your strong drive & work ethics. the fact that you got where you are w/ your own hands & wits to guide you, i think you're just amazing. so how could i not want those kind of qualities for my own child," deku explained. "im sure a child born from half of your genes you will shine just brightly as you do."
katsuki felt so taken back that found his tongue heavy and words were escaping him. on one hand he felt a rush of pride and a strange sensation of happiness that deku had specifically chosen him out of his potential candidates bc of the greatness he had seem in katsuki but he'd also narrowed katsuki out not bc of some sentimental bullshit or lingering feelings but he thought of providing his future child with the best gene pool as possible so his child can flourish. it's a damn ego busting for katsuki but deku was clearly a man on a mission.
katsuki hesitated and thought what it would mean to have a child out there who carry a lil part of him in them; it's unnerving and humbling at the same time. he never thought of it himself but deku had dream of this, wanted this so badly enough to beg katsuki for help.
"alright," he said finally, not knowing exactly what compelled him to agree, but the look of utter happiness spreading across deku's face as he can barely contain his joy. a single word from him had caused deku's word to shift and rearranged itself to make room for another life.
and that's how katsuki got con into helping izuku make a baby lol. but, really katsuki was the one who agreed to it out of his own will bc he's an idiot & also terribly whipped; omegas are the ones ppl should be frighten of bc once they make up their mind it's hard to move them. they're an unstoppable force, something to be reckon w/ esp when that omega is the no.1 hero who fought his way to the top of the rankings and maintain that status quo for many years despite how many times katsuki tried to topple him from that perch LOL.
katsuki already lost the war before he'd even put a foot down on battlefront the moment deku'd opened his mouth & demanded his sperm AND HE KNEW IT TOO. so that was how katsuki found himself preparing to empty his balls in front of a two-way mirror in a mating clinic bc of deku. omegas, esp males, are the most fertile when they're in heat & when an alpha go in a rut, but the both of them have this arrangment that's more of a duty than any feelings involve bc they cant risk getting mix up in the hormones. this is for deku & his future child!!! so the clinic had prepared a large room w/ two way dividing mirrors& open air vents circulating b/t the two rooms so they can breathe in each other scene where deku can have his heat on one side and katsuki can watch BUT NOT TOUCH and get his rut on so he can produce sperm.
it's uh, not supposed to be v sexy since it's all clinical & shit but bakudeku being bakudeku they nearly tear the room apart to get to each other in heat/rut madnes. deku had blushed earlier as he asked to be bind with quirk restrictions cuff just in case he go crazy which HE DID. at first the nurses there was more worry about katsuki going crazy and out of control bc he has been known to fall pretty high on the alpha aggression and they fear it would be katsuki who would be dangerous; BUT NOPE it's deku all all along who almost broke the REINFORCED MIRROR just so he can get to katsuki!!!! DEKU WHO PPL SOMETIMES FORGET IS LIKE THE NO. 1 HERO FOR A REASON. soft and sweet deku who single handedly can fuck you up with just his fingers if he want to. he's an omega on a mission and he wants that knot up his ass AND HE WANTS IT NOW.
the nurses & docs have to use everything in their toolkit to pull bakudeku apart. when it's all said and done, katsuki embarrassingly produce buckets of cum enough to last deku a looooooong long time if the first one didn't take lol while deku couldn't look at katsuki in the eyes. they are both horridly embarrass about their 'not mating' and their action toward each other there even though they never actually touch each other through out the whole heat/rut procedure. despite the fact that they DIDN'T HAVE ANY SEX, it was still the hottest exp for both.
katsuki never seen more more feral and fierce omega who nearly broke the entire room just to get to him, in that moment if katsuki wasn't in love already he would have been half way there and izuku didn't expect KATSUKI AT ALL. the way he had handle izuku was completely diff. in izuku's heat fever, katsuki was the lone anchor who'd provided him grounding. he tried to calm deku down from his ramp up hormones even though he was as clearly affected as deku. forceful but not unforgiving, commanding not unyielding, firm but gentle.
it was electric.
it was as though izuku was a wild animal unleashed and katsuki managed to tamed him and he never had even had to raise a single finger to do it. it was all in his words that cut through izuku's hazy feverish wants and desires. the kind of alpha that made deku's knees weak.
after that, they have wordless mutual agreement to never talk about it. deku got the sperms he wanted and katsuki had finally fullfiedd his obligation and isn't responsible for deku or his future child. HE'S DONE. they dont have anything to do w/ each other anymore. RIGHT??? ha.
it's funny bc izuku had his hope on a child but didn't think it would take so soon! he'd thought he would fail a few times first before he get really lucky w/ conception bc of his age now that he's older, this 'psuedo mating' can't replace real mating, & biology is fucking weird. even the fertility doc couldn't promise this procedure to insert bkg's sperm in him when he's still got in a heat fever will work 100% and if they fail, they have to wait for another HEAT to come before it could work. which mean months of waiting in b/t so izuku is desperate. BUT it took one try. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK as izuku anxiously waited for the news in next couple of weeks. he took at home pregnacy tests and when hall 3 results were positive he'd cried and called his mom but even then he didn't tell anyone bc he was so scare it just was a fluke.
he'd kept this secret until he finally got the visit to his doc and could get the firm confirmation he needed! when the doc revealed that he was indeed pregnant, izuku fell to his knees in relief bc finally, FINALLY, his dream of having a baby had came true. he's a father now!!
the doc had warned that the first trimester would be rough on him bc of his age and miscarriage is more likely for him than most male omega. maybe he should consider taking an early pregnacy leave bc of the danger his job poses to him & the unborn baby. deku had agonized over it. ultimately, he decided to continue w/ his hero work but won't take on as much stuff as before. he plans to be more careful & attentive to his safety, and defer his more dangerous work to his colleagues instead. all his friends and coworkers go out of their way to help him w/ this
izuku got an entire community of heroes WHO DO THEIR BEST TO ENSURE HIS PREGNACY GO SMOOTHLY bc look izuku may be doing this alone but HE'S NOT ACTUALLY ALONE bc he got his friends, colleagues, and mom to support him through this bc they know how much this means to him!!
katsuki was one of the last to find out but only bc deku plan to see him in person to tell him bc katsuki HAD GIVEN HIM ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS (beside OFA) and he wanted to thank katsuki in person but class A are a bunch of gossip mongers so he found out through their groupchat. it started as a joke about katsuki & his super seed bc what a fucking stud bakugou katsuki to have ONE TRY and is able to knocked izuku up so quickly lmao. w/e the fuck katsuki is doing or eating, apparently it works wonder for him bc one of his sperm luck out & hit jackpot. his so called friends cant stop ribbing into him for knocking up deku so quickly bc they know from deku's worry that it wasn't going to be an easy conception but IT'S BAKUGOU KATSKUKI, outdoing himself once more bc he never does anything by half, not even his own sperm lol.
izuku met up with katsuki right outside his agency bc he knew wassup and how to corner katsuki effectively by trapping him when he just high off his patrol when he least expect an ambush esp when he was too busy avoiding izuku's attempts to reach him bc of COMPLICATED FEELS.
it's not cowardice that kept katsuki away, but izuku was the source of all his confusing feelings already & now w/ the news that he's carrying katsuki's child now it'd gotten worst. izuku, though, was nothing if not persistent. he zeroed in katsuki right away w/ purposeful steps.
"kacchan, i'm so glad to meet you here," izuku says as though he hadn't coordinate this w/ katsuki's coworkers, who are all SOFT for izuku anyway lmao, to get katsuki alone JUST LIKE THIS. katsuki knew he was caught bc every one his friends & colleagues are FUCKING TRAITORS.
"what," he snapped, clenching the hands at his side as he tried to keep his gaze from izuku's still very flat tummy. it's weird to think a life was quickly taking shape there when it's not like izuku looked any diff but he smiling more brightly & warmth coming from his person. was this what they call the pregnancy glow? bc deku was fucking blinding that katsuki wanted to shove his hand to deku's face to block it out.
"what you want," he demanded again even tho they both know why deku was here.
unperturbed, deku smiled. "im pregnant now so thank you. you'd helped fulfilled one of my biggest dreams & im ever so grateful for it!" he continued, rocking happily back & forth on his heels but the words barely registered katsuki kept staring at the way deku's body swing out & he opened his mouth before he could think better of it.
"should you be even moving liek that ?" he asked BC SINCE FINDING OUT IZUKU IS PREGNANT HE LOST HIS MIND. as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was a dead man walking.
izuku leveled him a glare so fierce that he actually took a step back w/ chills running up his back. "kacchan i may be pregnant but im not an invalid," izuku said with the sharp edge of a smile and thinly veiled steel in his voice. the scariest part was that he hadn't drop a single smile but the ominous threas was there. "do you want me to show you how much of not invalid i am?"
katsuki scowled, face pinching at the thought whether this was just the usual deku's bs or this was deku's bs + the pregnancy hormones that get him so rile up. either way, katsuki no matter how much of an ass he was, he wasn't going to punch a pregnant omega to prove a point.
"fine, that was dumb sorry," he said, scratching the back of his ear in annoyance. "so was that all you wanted to say?"
deku's eyes crinkle in amusement as katsuki's scowl deepens. "yea, i just wanted you to hear the news from me personally and expressed my thanks."
"i'll take good care of them," he said softly, a stray hand caressing his stomach carefully. "I promise i'll be good to them so you dont have to worry."
katsuki paused and then, "I know," he said bc he does. deku was going to be a good parent w/o a doubt. That is a truth.
deku's eyes light up at katsuki's words and there was a hint of wetness in them that katsuki had the unnerving fear that he was going to cry right here and katsuki's entire agency going to charge out & murder him for making a pregnant omega, THE PREGNANT OMEGA DEKU cry in public.
"t-thank you," he sniffs, but THANKFULLY NO ACTUAL CRYING INVOLE, "it makes me so happy to hear that you in believe me. i won't fail you, i swear!" he said it like he was making a vow for world peace or some shit bc of how serious it had sounded but this was important to him.
"yea, okay," katsuki said, looking away bc got this entire conversation was agonizing bc here he was talking to the person, but not JUST ANY RANDOM PERSON, who is carrying a baby w/ half of katsuki's dna & they're not fucking each other. like,,, that's fucking weird okay.
"that's all i wanted to say," deku told him, fully aware how uncomfortable this talk was making him, "so I won't bother you anymore." he gave one last smile and turned to go but KATSUKI WHO SHOULD HAVE LET IT END THERE found himself opening his mouth and grabbing deku by the arm.
it was careful, a firm but gentle hand placed his forearm like deku was glass that stopped him for a moment. "if--if," katsuki said, swallowing around a stone in his throat, "you find yourself needing anything, call me ok? ANYTHING i dont care just call me and i'll be there."
a slow but the brightest fucking smile he had ever seen bloom on deku's flushed face. "ok, i'll let you know," he replied, bc this was KATSUKI PUTING HIMSELF OUT THERE AND WANTING TO GET INVOLVE IN IZUKU'S PREGNACY even tho deku had given him a clean break from it. HE CHOSE THIS.
katsuki doesn't know what he was thinking then but the words slipped passed his guard before he can stop it & now he fucking doomed himself, doom himself to 3am late night calls of deku crying in hysteric at his home bc he ran out of some rare hard to find fruit bc CRAVINGS. so now katsuki had to dragged himself all the way across town to hunt for this shit. the morning news of that day was hero ground zero harrassing shopkeeper in the FUCKING ASS'S OCLOCK FOR SOME FRUIT AND DEMANDING IT NOW FOR W/E REASON, WHILE LOOKING SO FURIOUS & UNHINGED.
look, it's not like deku doesn't have an entire network of ppl to reach out to if he ever needed anything bc they would even laid down their life for him but even when he's cursing a storm trying to get deku's his midnight craving, he's so relief it's him that deku called first. besides, he firmly knew wut he had signed up for the moment he had opened his mouth. offering is help in the pregnancy process was him choosing to get involve and commit to deku & his (god fucking damn shit, he can't think of it as *theirs* bc that's too dangerous) baby. and bc this is bakugou katsuki and he never does any by halves so even though he may have been reluctant at first but now that he's firmly on board he's going in full throttle w/ no break in sight. katsuki dumps all his $$ on pregnacy & prenatal care books.
he read papers, argued on pregnancy forum, & even harassed his parents on it just so he can come at this like a fucking boss bc while he has full faith in deku to put the safety of the fetus first but also HE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST DEKU TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST which is just as import. deku has the self-preservation  of a damn child & he can't expect a *child* to take care of himself so KATSUKI OBVIOUSLY GOT TO DO IT FOR HIM. so he make diet plans, prepare prep meals for deku ahead of them, annoyed deku's coworkers to watch out for him lest he does something stupid. he make it his firm mission that this pregnancy will go smoothly as possible so even when he's running errands for deku, getting his weird ass food craving, and taking deku to visit his ob-gyn, sitting in the waiting room anxiously for any news in case SOMETHING GO WRONG.
He even drives himself crazy learning about the things a pregnant person can't do/is at risk of doing & he doesn't know how anyone can fucking take this for 10 months bc it's like walking on a precarious tight rope. it's scary & humbling and he just want deku & the baby to be ok.
there are still crimes and villains to wrangle, and the world keeps on spinning; nothing really change all that much now that deku's pregnant but katsuki finds himself personally accolating his precious time and energy toward deku & the baby. he became one of those *PEOPLE*, ugh. he never got it even when his friends had popped out spawns of their own. he wasn't going to get dragged down by biology & all that general bullshit about settling down. he's at the top of his game & prize to take over deku's position as no.1. he got no time for playing family.
yet here he is standing in the middle of a fucking baby store, staring down a damn baby crib and having a melt down. who the fuck knew that baby cribs come in so many fucking versions and THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. he thought he had come prepare but no this was toughs shit. he only saw this store in passing while on a patrol & thought he should drop by but the next thing he knew he got trapped here for three fucking hours just looking at baby cribs. he already got several people walking passed him, eyeing him weirdly as he internally freak out.
there are ridiculous amount of info floating on the internet about crib buying guide like the bars could only be certain inches apart, non-toxic paints, diff kind of mattress, safe headboards, etc etc. all of that to ensure the baby doesn't fucking DIE bc babies are like FRAGILE.
he calls deku & as soon as he picks up, the first thing katsuki says is, "last year, there were 1,842 babies death due to sudden infant death syndrome."
a long pointed pause, and then, "oh geez," deku answers, "where are you? I'll be right there, okay? don't go anywhere!"
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kny111 · 4 years
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I’m Living Under Government Watchlist for doing ProBlack + BLM work
I’m not sure many of you know this and with what I’ve seen I doubt this will get attention considering how deeply sabotaged tumblr has become. But I’ve been doing activism for about as long as we’ve been yelling things like “HandsOffAssattaShakur“ to protesting what I thought was religious corruption when we did so against scientology to #OccupyWallstreet. I’ve been protesting and doing activism online and offline depending on my mental and physical health which has limited me as time goes by. It’s finally got me burnt out, not from the protesting and activism, but from those whose job in the past and present been to sabotage and destabilize Black lead/ Poc led movements. I’m in a continuation of this. Don’t let my lack of energy in speaking out fool you into thinking I gave up. I have just gotten worn out by them.
The things they’ve done to my mind and body while in this area since moving. They’ve been surveilling me since before I could even remember. Every single day that goes by they’ll have some way of making their presence on my health in a debilitating way. They’ll mess with the internet, phone, my contacts, infiltrate them, infiltrate my family, they’ve messed with the job search process and made difficult for me to enter any job without said job making some offhanded comments showing their solidarity to the corrupted country I protest. They’ve had people I trusted right here on tumblr infiltrated my circles of friends and myself and make it very well known that they feel beyond reproach.
This has all been in coordination with the NYPD and other government agents of defense. They’ll make themselves present in just about any space I try to go. From the forest, parks, to just a simple walks outside. I basically was lead into an area of Manhattan that is mad pro-cop, pro-surveillence capitalism, pro-militarized. Any time I make blog posts or whatever that don’t put em in a good light I get some kind of mental or physical health debilitating action against me like they’ll have mad loud noises at timed intervals like what the agent upstairs does all the time which messes with my breathing due to social anxiety and depression. They’ve had cars roll dangerously close to me, whether im biking or not. They’ll have people walk mad close to me during social distancing measures. I know it be them because they tend to use sensitive information they got through surveillancing me all day and night. Like fam I could be trying to take a piss in peace at like 3am and they’ll still be bumping away and making all types of sound to give the impression that they’re always watching. And they are. And I think the fact that those UFO/UAP objects appeared on my 17th  (11/10/2004) birthday added to their obsession with me. The other fact that I ended painting a similar craft under the context of destroying colonialism I believe gave the government more understanding on what they’re really here about. I think that being the end of these oppressive regimes that have made so much out of us. I don’t want to sound superstitious but since then I’ve felt a connection with those UAPs that I only learned to name recently. I no longer think it’s coincidental that about a month or so AFTER I painted those native, queer sisters dancing to bring forth help from their future descendants, the navy posts those videos of the UAP that become well known. They’ve never done that, and yet just a few weeks after I painted this, not only does the gallery I exhibited this in Harlem catches fire unexpectedly, but these things become a topic of discussion in ways we’ve never seen before. I think them UAPs are here for our freedom. But that’s for another post. Too much to unpack into this. I’m just letting yall know what they know of me. So now imagine. This nigga aka me, tied to UFO, fortelling the future (I know what I sound like, but believe me, I can definitely tell the future) AAAND fighting for black lives? Of course they gone be on my ass like a probe. In fact, I think one night they even broke into our apartment (not the first time they do so) and did things against my will as I slept since I woke up feeling violated. Waking up with strange markings and having objects in the crib go missing. But I’ll leave that there. There’s so little ya’ll know about what they’re doing to BLM activists. So much I’ve omitted from here for my own sanity and to process things. This has caused my body a lot of debilitating stress down to my breathing having been shortened. I’m lucky if I have the will power to eat more than 2 meals. I don’t even bike anymore. I can barely run anymore. I can barely speak like I used to anymore. They stole so much more from me than they’ll ever imagine. Even saying all this to yall, whomever listening, feels pointless. Why? because they’re very good at making it seem, even if and when it aint true, that your people don’t fuck with you no more except for those they deem acceptable. As you figured, this would have anyone under 24/7 watch. The government be lookin at me and them UAP and the lands and non government natives as a force they don’t wanna reckon with, so they’ve put a lot out to shrink me as they do to so many of us who choose to fight for the rest who can’t. And this has all been while trying to raises my baby Quinn with my partner. So we’re all dealing with the state and federal terrorists in one way or another. If they not trying physically fuck with me, they’ll be running psych warfare on me, shit thatll have me doubting myself despite the facts. Luckily a nigga still bout that scientific literacy so it’s helped me a lot in spotting them and trying to keep some semblance of a distance. But again because of what I’m tied to: bday 111, UAP/UFO, native resistance and the spirits of the land and those this country murdered for white supremacist ventures, predicting/ESP type of abilities on the daily while telling them how useless their surveillence capitalist tools are knowing we can do this has likely mad them other me, dehumanize me and made me feel less human. Since then I’ve noticed they’ve been limiting my posts and activities on just about any site that has favored white supremacy, neocolonialism and capitalism in some way or another. They’ll mess with my facebook feed, who my posts get seen by, they’ll mess with my IG, they’ll mess with my tumblr especially. Basically any way they can limit who I may say this to and wear me out from even speaking about this and bringing yall hope like that. And remember, the information that they share amongst themselves as surveillance capitalist is the same information hub/database that infiltrated white supremacists and antiblack/antibrown folks in governments tend to us and share with their own hateful ass people. With this in mind, I really think they look at me as some would be leader to those movements since I’m queer and nonbinary so not as easy to trick into the outdated oppresive politics they try to have me on. Since I haven’t shown interest in being with them in any real way and have stuck to my activism and abolishing these systems they’ve continue to in a way torture me. Through sounds, denial of physical services, or when I go out to eat in places that have ties to law enforcement or government agencies, they’ll mess with my food, just about anything you need they’ll fuck with. What would that do to you if you experienced that? Hence why my bloggin changed a bit, not as attached due to energy fatigue and their constant harrassment and obsession with me. Many times, even with the fact that I may be linked to those UAP in some special way I still be feelin like dyin to not be around em anymore.
To add to what I said on how corporate own websites like tumblr have joined them; After having spent a good amount of time blocking my posts and blaming their algorithm. From blocking drawings of normalizing fatness to pro LGBTQ and Black Lives Matter posts like the Eric Garner videos I uploaded. For a few months now I’ve noticed my scinerds blog has been inaccessible, in a way sabotaging my communication with yall. And they would fix my blog posts by limiting who sees my posts, so now most if not all of my posts on this website and few others have been. When I try to use it I’m not allowed, but I’m still able to reblog, so I’ve been reblogging there less science and more activism as a way to protest the racist, white supremacist of tumblr. Be they black or not, they still acting the same. I’m mostly posting this for a future people who understand me and believe me. I get the sense that this post will also be sabotaged or muted in some way. Thanks for reading, in case we don’t link.
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spaceysp · 3 years
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Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,
How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,
Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,
Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,
Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,
Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?
ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY 
im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk
one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy 
1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!
2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely) 
bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder
3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date
leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else
4. health issues 
bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you
5. bads nervous
this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)
i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now
OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO
this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date
NUMbeR tHree *airhorns* 
they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal) 
n u m b e r f o u r 
where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him
NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them
What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options
1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy
2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy
3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other) 
i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF) 
i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))
ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon
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oofluc · 4 years
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⌠ AXEL AURIANT, 20, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, LUC MONTAGNIER! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( dried blood on busted knuckles, forced smiles and sweat drenched after training ). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/17/1999, they always request their SEARED SCALLOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ ooc mochi, 23, she/her, gmt ⍀  
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slight warning to those who saw i originally planned him to be an anxious soft boi … i was wrong also there is a suicide mention & some subtle child abuse maybe... plus it’s kind of long ? and an incoherent mess but whatever !! plotting is welcome either on tumblr or on discord which you can find me at mochi#7066 !! his pinterest is here yes i went overboard with sections esp bc im gonna add more hdjf !! stats here and a full connection page here with most stuff i have so far ! @gallagherintro​
PARALLELS
fred jones | scooby doo
stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries
hatsuharu sohma | fruits basket
noatak | avatar: the legend of korra
FAMILY
phillipe montagnier | 54
ameline montagnier | 46
marc montagnier | ✝
luc montagnier | 20
charles montagnier | 18
elias montagnier | 18
HISTORY
the montagnier family was originally located in the south of france until luc’s grandfather moved them to quebec. their empire was in manufacturing all kinds of weaponry and selling them to governments and other spy families and organisations. if you needed something a bit obscure or unique, this was the family you'd come to.
luc grew up in a fairly isolated countryside area in a family of four brothers who he loved for the first few years of his life. first was marc, shy and respectful, luc himself two years behind, and then another two years graced the family with twins; charles and elias who lived by their own rules. marc and luc had always been close, marc was the best big brother possible and luc loved him a lot.
eventually after being pitted and forced to compete against each other for so long, it got quite personal and their bonds started being tested. their mother turned a blind eye to their father's borderline abusive methods when luc overtook his older brother in their father’s tests and training. bruises and broken bones were only natural in training so there wasn't much she could say even if she wanted to.
from as long as he could remember, he'd been firing guns. there was a shooting range on their estate and they went on hunting trips, too. his dad often had him show customers the potential of their weaponry and so he'd always been thrusted into that life whether he wanted a say or not. it’s been clear since he was around fourteen that if anyone was taking over the family business it'd be him, not his older brother, marc.
this definitely caused somewhat of a rift between him and marc, as he'd end up getting much harsher punishments when luc would disarm or ground him.
luckily for luc, he did enjoy fighting and was exceptionally gifted in the life planned out for him. he was always the most determined to gain their father's approval, which definitely showed in their results and how obedient he was in front of the man. when he finally got what he wanted, he didn't quite expect it to mean what it did. it was rare but every now and then he would kill for his dad. whether it was someone who betrayed the family or a potential threat to their business, if his dad told him to, he would, no questions asked. it was during this time he was more excluded from training with his brothers since he would be with his dad instead.
SUICIDE TW !!!!!!
his oldest brother marc was sent to blackthorne once he was eighteen and ended up committing suicide at the end of his second year, with luc set to follow the next year. this news was shocking for the montagnier family as luc's father was bitterly embarrassed and disappointed by his firstborns' death, wanting to cover it up as a murder so it couldn't be tied to the family name with such dishonour. it quickly created a divide as charles and elias defended marc's actions and revealed he'd been struggling with depression for the majority of his life, much like they did, which was all unknown to luc, who, for the first time, felt the repercussions of his father's favouritism. he had a new found rebellion against him that was violent with them going at each other's throats for the foreseeable future. luc ended up avoiding his place at blackthorne in hopes to piss off his dad and becoming more reclusive and bitter as time went on.
he really took his brother's death personally, believing he was a factor in it and wishing he'd been there for him more closely. if anyone so much as mentions marc to him he will be on guard and very easily angered. i think before marc died he was very charismatic, egotistical at times and driven whereas now he’s lost a lot of his energy and is more negative & aloof.
the following year was Rough™. he was no longer his dad's golden boy and the family dynamic shifted a lot with marc's death as luc ended up protecting his younger twin brothers instead of beating them for their dad's favour. he's certain he'd have been disowned had his mother not aligned herself with the kids as well.
i think their family dynamic is kinda like the cha family from sky castle if anyone has seen it !
luc eventually decided to enrol in school late, only to end up at gallagher instead. which... i mean, i think before marc died he was excited about attending blackthorne. so he’s bit ??? uncertain about the girls school.
PERSONALITY
genuinely i think it comes down to so many factors, whether he’s in a good mood, who’s speaking to him etc but neutrally he’s quite charming, happy to mess about a bit but more or less takes most stuff too seriously. since he’s not around his dad i do think he will explore a lot more and seek out adventure and fun but if he’s got a test or something due the next day then he’ll bail early since he is defo the type to never let his grades or performance be ruined
he’s quite cocky + likes to win no matter what so yes he will ruin a friendship to beat u at monopoly. second place is last place in his head.
at his best he can be confident, alluring, courteous, loyal… at his worst he's aggressive, destructive, apathetic and always says shit he doesn't mean !!!! will he apologize ?? unlikely but he'll try n make it right once he’s calmed down
thinks the best way to deal with things is with his fists, he’s so EASY to snap and start a fight n he’ll.... maybe apologise for it
i think he defo likes to pretend he’s got no problems and so reverts to a social, supportive friend every once in a while. the type to be brutally honest !!
he’s a definite know it all, thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks, gods gift etc !!!!! doesn’t believe in god but still. I kinda see him a bit jocky idk why but more brooding n isolating 70% of the time bc he’s easily pissed off but when he’s having fUNNNNN he’s ok like a solid guy at times just easily angered
very flirty, he's a major ladies man despite actually being GAY. which is a secret. sh. only two people know he’s gay and that’s his current beard girlfriend ellie cavanagh and childhood friend regine ren. more ppl can defo find out in time and i’m sure ppl have speculations ? maybe have seen him hooking up with guys or something when he thought no one was looking etc probs think he’s bi who knows!!! but for now those two are the only people he’s actually spoken to about it!!!! so if anyone else tries he will deny it as he’s very against the idea of coming out so will not discuss it ty pls.
and it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with girls, he’ll be having a great time regardless but he just aint abt to love them like that pls understand
still, he is in a current relationship with ellie who is acting as his beard for him. they have ‘ dated ’ before and are off and on a lot, so they probably seem pretty toxic tbh since ellie n him can clash n argue and he defo still hooks up with other girls despite being in a relationship so feel free to kill him for cheating !
wanted connections !!!
going off the last point, maybe some of ellie’s friends who come at him for how he seemingly treats her !!!
i'd love for blackthorne ppl to have known his brother, he'd have been around about 22/23 and a fourth year now if he was still alive so ?? it might help luc with some closure if he could talk about him since it happened at blackthorne
ppl to know the family, some family friends would be amazing !!! i feel regardless of alliances etc their family would have stayed as neutral as possible since they're selling weapons so they want all the customers.
so people that know HIM while he was growing up would be interesting esp those expecting him to have joined blackthorne when he was supposed to 2 years ago, and obvs him probably changing from who they knew him as to a more negative version now
might put a wc for his twin bros as they potentially joined his arrival at gallagher as first years too but who knows. they’d be 18 so if anyone wants a family friend connection that is around that age, maybe they were closer to the twins than luc ??
he sleeps with a lot of girls to kinda ‘make sure’ no one knows he’s gay as he defo doesn't feel comfortable with being out. the guys that he sleeps with he'll always pin it on being too drunk to remember or he'll threaten them if they told etc ?? he's very on edge about it and would only hook up super secretly sooo if anyone’s down for that with him
and then obvs need a lot of ladies he’d wanna sleep with to keep his image
previous ex gfs ?? from prep schools !!!!!!!
some positive influences would be good
bad influences as well bc tho he is a bit of a party guy, he doesn’t drink loads and he doesn’t do drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but…. I mean i bet he could be convinced now he’s away from home so
study / sparring buddies !!
i’d love someone to teach him pop culture n normality !! his childhood was training and competing with his bros so he defo doesn’t watch many movies or tv or play games etc so ? someone making him watch all the harry potters ?? binging parks and rec ?? he’d find it so dumb but who wouldnt enjoy it ??
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also i know i never talk about being ace cause like reasons
but people should know that like all other sexualities its essentially a spectrum and is quite different for everyone
being asexual is essentially not having/having a limited sex drive in some capacity. some people will still have sex with people, some won't. 
people also consider different actions to be sexual. some people view making out as sexual, or being felt up or kissing it just depends on the person and what they're comfortable with.
and the issue is that alot of people don't seem to get that?? like alright cool people who aren't ace can be in relationships with ace people that's fine just make sure you understand that persons boundaries cause im gonna tell you right now they're probably different and might be more sensitive than other people that you've dated or hooked up with or whatever.
and! if someone (whether they're ace or not) says they're uncomfortable with something just don't fucking do it ??? its that simple ???? and if for Some Reason you still feel the need to, maybe just don't date that person cause in some cases theres a very real chance you could be reported for some level of assault.
essentially, don't be an asshole. ask people (all people but esp ace people) what their boundaries are Before you start something. and consent. 
also consent aint consent when someones like half asleep or asleep cause that's the same thing as being drunk. we don't stan that. 
if someones ace, they Know That. you trying to force them to do something that they don't want to do or aren't comfortable doing isn't going to make them “normal.” that's not how it works. it's also not appreciated. and its emotionally scarring. don't do it.
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 5 years
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Persona Problems: Apathy Syndrome, Mental Shutdowns, and Reverse Cases
Sooooo uhhh I can’t sleep so might as well ramble about this.
Comparing and contrasting the 3, ranting on why Mental Shutdowns are called Mental Shutdowns and why it’s stupid, and trying to fix PTS’ Reverse Cases.
An issue I’ve had with P5 tbh (I think I’ve talked about this before), but while thinking about it I realized that......my own idea of fixing P:TS’ Reverse Cases instead....made me realized some complications (I mean the complication was there to begin with but I’ll get to that). 
Anyway I’ll save Reverse Cases for last since I’m sure most of you are only here for P3/5. 8U
So one thing that bothered me in P5 is.....the fact they call Mental Shutdowns well...Mental Shutdowns. I mean because....it’s just Apathy Syndrome (or at least, how it’s called by the public, “Mass Lethargy Syndrome, which we find out in P4D, as a similar case is happening there).
Well let me explain what each one basically is.
Apathy Syndrome. is basically when a person’s shadow goes on vacation in P3, and Nyx/Full Moon bosses be giving out those vacation tickets like Oprah when well....the Full moon comes around. 8U I mean technically the person’s shadow gets “eaten” by a Dark Hour Shadow (and yes it’s their shadow, MegaTen says “psyche” but it’s clarified more that by psyche they mean shadow). Basically, while there are technicalities in HOW the shadow isn’t in the person’s body, the fact remains it happens because the shadow is not in the body. As for what happens to the person, they usually go into a coma/vegetative state and will die without medical help.
Mass Lethargy Syndrome: 
Now let’s look at Mental Shutdowns. It happens when a Shadow Self is killed.....ok.....so basically that means the Shadow is not there anymore. The Shadow is not in the body. Basically the same exact thing as Apathy Syndrome. What happens to the body? Same exact thing as Apathy Syndrome, they go into coma/vegetative state and will die without medical help. I mean sometimes they’ll die right on the spot for no good reason(ok maybe not RIGHT on the spot, stupid delay reaction Okumura....fudging things up), but of the 3/4 we saw, we know 2/3 (dunno if I should count train guy, but Wakabe and Kobayashi def count) died because they fell in traffic and not by whatever Okumura conveniently got. Also this doesn’t count Ichiko’s friend who was just in a coma, so it seems Okumura’s reaction is.....VERY rare. Btw fun fact, in P3′s 1st movie, something similar happens at a train station that mirrors Wakabe/Kobayashi, someone gets Apathy syndrome and falls in front of a train (I know it’s the movie, but the game DOES say there was a delay and the movie spells it out for us it’s cause of a body on the train tracks so.....there might be some weight to the movie). 
Now PTS....I’m....I’m mostly gonna focus on Reverse Cases, I mean this anime has Apathy Syndrome but I don’t recall it (or I didn’t get that far into it), and the wiki states it’s when a Persona is taken or destroyed, while Reverse Cases (as well as Kagenuki) specifically mention Shadows....and I dunno it could be P:TS being weird again and not knowing how the relationship between Personas/Shadows work, but then again Kagenuki was used so that people could tell if that person has a strong shadow and thus strong Persona and....basically I don’t think the creators through it through or the wiki is missing some info. ANYWAY, Reverse Cases are similar, it’s where a Shadow is forcibly taken by another Persona user for a certain goal of summoning something more powerful by gathering those Personas (if any of you Arena/Ultimax fans feel like you might’ve heard something like this before yeah I think they repurposed P:TS’s thing), and when that happens the person is turned inside out! Whoops! Well that’s a bit different, but hey same concept, shadow leaving the body (THAT BEING SAID it’s understandable why it’s called something different, the outcome is different compared to AS and MS). (btw Kagenuki is where you pull a Shadow/Persona out but it’s used to relieve stress or some BS, it’s temporary and....it’s kinda more like you are forcing someone to summon their Persona rather than take it....unless you are discount Strega aka Marebito then they are trying to actually take it).
Fun Fact: P2IS I believe is the first place that showcases Apathy Syndrome (or whatever we wanna call all 3/4 of these things), as the character Yukino experience similar symptoms when her Shadow Self commits suicide. P2IS didn’t have a name for it but....just a fun fact. 8U
Anyway before I pick apart P:TS’ mess, lemme get back to P5. Why the fudge do they call it something different? Like I GET MS’ process is a little different, but the outcome is pretty much identical, esp to the public....who are the one’s naming the phenomenon. Like us the players know it’s different, one is caused by the Dark Hour and is temporary, the other is caused by Goro being an asshole and it seems like this one is a bit more permanent....BUT THE PUBLIC DOESN’T KNOW THAT! To them it should be “Apathy Syndrome/Mass Lethargy Syndrome has returned and a new phenomenon ‘Psychotic Breakdowns’ has emerged!” you could possibly connect them due to both showing up at around the same time, but calling AS something different? No, to the public it’s pretty much the same, people are becoming vegetables and we dunno how to help them. In all honesty, just because the way shadows are leaving people’s bodies are a bit different, I don’t think it warrants a new name...in fact I think it can be confusing “Wait isn’t it basically the same thing? How/why is it called something different?” it just raises unneeded questions. And no you can’t make the argument that ‘maybe AS wasn’t well known’ because 1) it’s mentioned later in P4D (and I think even in Arena), albeit by a different but similar sounding title and 2) even a small town like Inaba’s murder mystery was still being alluded to in P5 about 5ish years later in-game....and Iwatodai is a city and it was being talked about on the news A LOT.....so no it’s not a small town/city thing.
But...”Well why aren’t you complaining about P4D’s re-name?” Probably cause the rumor of knowing the cause of MLS vs AS/MS. MLS is associated with the cursed video, while AS/MS are unknown to the public..... Or maybe AS was just known as MLS to the mass public or it’s a phenomenon where a bunch of people fall to AS, I need to replay P4D tbh if there are additional details I’m missing, but the fact remains that, to the public, MLS has a possible root cause while the other two do not so it’s possible to let that slide....tho it brings up the fact MS should either be called AS or MLS.... Esp because there’s also the fact that P4D is probably taking place in Tokyo (P3/4/4D basically just call it “the city,” but I think it’s heavily hinted to be Tokyo, heck a quick google search lead me to a LMB festival look alike, aka Tokyo Idol Festival so....yeah 8U). Which makes it even more jarring for P5 since WE KNOW it takes place in Tokyo so why are they using two names for the same thing??? It’s like.....calling the Chicken Pox something like “Polly Pocket Pox,” same symptoms, we just feel like calling it something totally random and new now for no reason even tho it’s literally the exact same thing in everyone’s eyes. 8U 
Anyway end rant on P5′s annoying alt naming, now for P:TS.
So.....Reverse Cases are a bit of a mess....both in the show (damn it be bloody) and.....lore wise (not new to P:TS bless its soul....haha soul....pun not intended). Lore wise it doesn’t make sense. I mean P3/4D/5′s way of doing it we basically have different ways of doing X1+A/B/C but we still get the same Y (basically X+A=Y, X+B=Y, and X+C=Y for P3/4D/5 respectively, X=a shadow leaving, A/B/C=the different forms aka Full Moon/Cursed Video/Goro-murders). RC is different, it’s end result is different even if say.....it’s the same as P5 (P5 involve another human harming another Person’s shadow so yeah). So with PTS, instead of X+C=Y, it’s now X+C=Z (Shadow leaving+basically stealing and absorbing the shadow=a person explodes).....so with PT X+C≠Y.....and that’s.....that’s some problems. Because PTS equates the shadow leaving with the person exploding (we’re ignoring AS in this universe cause....we don’t need more problems).
So....to fix it.....I originally thought “maybe add one more thing to the equation!” Have it be X+C+D=Z. With D= maybe the shadow goes berserk before it’s eaten and that’s how the person is exploded. Kinda similar to how Personas can turn on their user in P3 and strangle them....or in P4 the Shadow Selves....do something that kills them. I mean they both try to kill their hosts and seem to do different things to get the job done, and how they do it could result in a different outcome (P3 it’s strangulation tho not sure if traceable, P4 it’s unknown, PTS it’s explosion). There fix right? Nope.......I realized, thanks to P4 esp....there’s an issue....And this exists with how RCs already operate not just my fix it tweak. The issue is that.....once the person is killed, the shadow self (and by extension the Persona) disappears with it.... 
“Ok how is that bad?” Well the point of the RC are that the Marebito are gathering Shadows(/Personas) to make themselves stronger (and so that what’s his face can summon something, keeping it vague for spoilers but hey already dropped a spoiler so whatevs). But.....as soon as the Person explodes that Shadow should cease to exist. Rendering everything moot.
Which means we need to change PTS again, and we can do it a few ways thankfully! I mean you might have to rewrite PTS for some of the options but.....like it already needs rewrites so klnvkds;vna Anyway here’s what we can do:
No RCs! Instead it’s just Apathy Syndrome a new wave. What ain’t broke don’t fix it. Personas/Shadows are still stolen, but we just keep the symptoms as AS and just call it AS (or MLS, I’m down for either)
Might be an issue with getting the police involved, so either with the revamp have Shadow Ops be involved 
Or make it so the police think AS in PTS has a different patter compared to P3′s so they think it might be a group or some BS.
Keep the RC, but don’t make it about stealing shadows/personas to make something stronger or summon something. Instead just make it about a (or a group of) serial killer(s)! 
Either they just use their Persona to explode people
Or they utilize the Kagenuki to draw out the shadow self to do it for them!. 
Use both 1 and 2, by which I mean I guess pull a P5 (aka have two going at the same time like P5 has with Mental Shutdowns and Psychotic Breakdowns, and RC could be the reason the police get involved), AS is when they steal the shadow, RC is when they wanna kill a person without the weird as time delay MS has at times. 
I feel like I had more to say but it’s late and.....I think I’ll just end it here. 8V
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airmom · 6 years
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Do u have any tips for the new school year like work/beauty/crushes?
is it for high school or college? hehe because I feel like theyre both SO different but Ill try to make some broad advice/tips
📚💭☆ mindfulness and practicing positive thinking: its so hard trying to be positive esp if you are foreign to it or have trouble changing your way of thinking, but find small words or sentences you can keep telling yourself like, “my value is not made up by my grade,” or “I will do my best.” Practice a few days before school starts, so this way, when you enter school it won’t be so hard to keep these positive thoughts settled.☆ set up goals before or on the first day of classes when you receive your syllabus: once you have a clear set up of what you’re aiming for, you’re more likely to keep that goal instead of rolling with it, also teachers teach differently so when you have a syllabus be mindful of it and atleast try to figure out how they work or think as a person.☆ try and ask for help: always try, even if it feels like you can’t do it, keep trying. your teachers are fully aware if you’re trying or not, don’t be afraid to ask for help (push away the prideful feeling of doing it yourself, you’re going to end up pushing yourself into more stress, trust me)☆ study: please please study, go to your local library and take some time out of your day to study, dont study on your bed or in a place you feel too comfortable in. if you’re a procrastinator like me, try to force yourself tbh, its all about self-discipline!! know that the grade does not own you, you own the grade.
👒👜👡☆ skin-care: okay everyone’s skin is different and there will be a ton of trial and errors until you’ve found the perfect products for you and to get the results you want. 1. if you have sensitive skin like me, don’t pick up toners, serums, moisturizers in one setting and use them all at once, this can cause irritation and/or break outs. start off with a cleanser, serum, and moisturizer first and then add more into your skin-care routine if you choose to do so. 2. if you have acne, sleep with aloe vera on your face or egg white, sea salt is also really good for acne but dilute with water and wash it off. tea tree is also pree good (again if you have sensitive skin, get yourself some tea tree oil moisturizer (my favorite product is Keeva, works really well)). Stay away from cinnamon, lemon, anything that you know will be harsh on your skin. 3. as you know, put on sunscreen the sun may be beautiful but he sure isn’t too nice on delicate skin. 4. eat lots of vitamin c (oranges, potatoes, kiwi, etc) or use products with vitamin c, this helps you make more collagen on your skin which helps skin renewal. 5. wash your sheets/pillow covers once a week, dead skin and oils sit there after sleeping so clean sheets = clean skin. 6. clean ya make-up brushes. 7. dont forget yOuR WaTEr!!!☆ hair-care: 1. try to not put your hair in a bun so much if its dry, previously dyed, etc, your not letting your hair cuticles breathe 2. when you condition your hair comb it through and let your hair feel detangled and work through everything 3. use sulfate-free shampoos and conditioners, just sayin, also use hydrating masks in your free time ykyk 4. some ways to lighten up your hair without bleaching can be through lemon, water, and honey, apple cider vinegar with water, or going out to soak in the sun with chamomile tea in your hair (brew the tea, let it cool, and add)! 5. you can speed up hair growth process by braiding your hair, aloe vera masks, massaging your scalp, letting your natural oils soak in your scalp for more time (might be gross and greasy but it helps), or talking nicely to your hair (im serious). 6. putting your hair up in a towel or scrubbing your hair with it can create frizz so refrain from doing that, also sleeping with your hair wet.☆ foods: EAT HEALTHY I KNOW JUNK FOOD IS GOOD AND STUFF BUT EAT AS HEALTHY AS YOU CAN. the only reason you may not find healthy foods good is because your body is not used to it, introduce your body to vegetables and fruits, a healthy body = a higher percentage to a healthy mind-set
💕📱☆ crushes: honestly crushes are so fun to have but its all fun and games until they get a s/o (LOL), but if you like someone, don’t set yourself up for the rejection you already given yourself. tell them, don’t limit yourself from the possibilities that can happen from it, you can grow from it or you can achieve something nice from it. from my experience, love never really works out if you ask for it, work for it and let opportunities fall into your hand instead of forcing it. also, gorlies, thoydies, goydies, stay away from much much older men, women, and theymen, they aint it.☆ friendships: they say that once you graduate the friends you have wont be your friends anymore and it can happen. some may check up on you and all but it can happen. if your friends have shown signs of abuse towards you, unfriend them. if you have a gut instinct about a friend, follow it. its okay to feel like an outcast, its okay if having too many friends is too much. keep the people who make you feel happy and help you grow.☆ social media: give yourself a break from electronics and social media, like…i cant explain how much better you could feel if you do.☆ relationships: if your s/o is abusive in any way, leave them. if you feel sad/depressed with them, leave them. you’re not here to fix them, they’re and you’re here to fix yourselves. if they don’t treat you with respect, offer you a comfortable environment, and encourage you to be a better person then be prepared for a tough time. thats it, thats all i gotta say.
AH OK I HOPE THIS HELPS A BIT!!!! GOOD LUCK FOR THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years
Text
THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 2, 2019 // the inn/the storm
honestly i dont even know the time frame for these eps until the seance ep but im making assumptions i believe to be correct unless proven otherwise (dont prove me otherwise i dont actually want to know)
-"how am i supposed to believe that?" then why did u fucking ask??????? lmaooooooooo
-"if you ever want there to be trust between us" oh the ironyyyyyy (of course this only works 1 way lmfao)
-"sneaking around in trash cans" -miss scarlet voice- "communism was only a red herring"
-"we've met, haven't we?" 😩😩😩
-lucy's 'footsteps' in the house lead ryan to nancy's room / sounding like heartbeats on an ultrasound 😌💔
-"no traces of poison" O RLY KAREN. RLY. WONDER WHY THAT IS.
-karen is really eager to throw nick under the bus to protect herself/draw focus off of nancy as a two for one deal; interesting that it seems her focus on revenge and friendship with lucy appears to be more important than nick's trauma and her/his friendship with kate esp given her "i know the system favors the privileged" moments. karen is historically cutthroat but its interesting to see all her relationships are with white people/like shes willing to bend the rules sometimes, but strictly upholding them on others (like she steals nancys journal to throw carson under the bus but steals evidence to help nancy like the hat)
-given what we know of nancy's stringent morals, is nancy more or less strict in comparison to that?
-karen is trying SO hard to love this girl that she would have loved just as much if not more if she knew she was lucy's daughter
-💙my three peas in a pod in that booth gettin' goss
-"tiffany loved her hidden treasures" and in future eps laura seems to agree. tiffany seems really smart. why on earth would she marry ryan? same social circle sure but that is definitely not the reason. she must have been trying to take the hudsons down from day 1 of entertaining ryan (thus the natural causes clause) she gets that ryan is stupid and honestly not capable of much of anything himself/writes him off - his father is def the true goal here
-"he took a life once" okay sis. -sigh- UNPOPULAR OPINION: "like it was my job to ease her guilt for testifying against me" then later admits that he killed someone? nah. NAH sis. because listen. that Man made up his mind when he decided to rape someone. yes. Man. nick himself was a minor but rape is not a minor offense. that Man decided he was going to rape someone and nothing was going to stop him. and nick thinks HE'S a murderer?? when he had no intent to kill? i think we all know what happened there but what on EARTH do you think that friend he protected feels?? this kid went to PRISON FOR YEARS. because he chose to protect her. like imagine if she had tried to fight him off herself? imagine SHE was the one who pushed him thru a glass window and they told her, well, it wasn't worth his life...like she should have just let herself be raped rather than have him die?? like her lifelong trauma was not worth a Man's life. no. no honey. nick, you didn't do anything wrong. that Man decided he wanted to have sex with an unwilling person and wouldnt leave until he did. he decided to be a rapist. do NOT tell that girl that her rape would have been less worse than his death. he didn't even come at austin w the intent to kill. not a murderer. dont call yourself that ever again. don't take responsibility for his actions. because it wasn't just self defense. it was defending a fellow woman. and don't fuckin ask "what happened to dolores barrett" when you know what would have happened to your friend at that party if you weren't there. you. did. nothing. wrong.
-"but my real treasure are the rays of intelligence you have elicited from my brain, the languages you have implanted in my memory." 👌🏻
-anyone wanna discourse on what "a bargain has two sides, its not a gift, you gotta meet in the middle" means to you?
-nancy's smirk at tricking karen lmfaoooo
-wonder if lucy is also haunting carson/has been for years and he's just lying about not hearing footsteps etc. is she upset that they never told nancy the truth? is she trying to protect him from ryan? why did lucy pick now to start haunting nancy? bc tiffany? josh? kate died so she doesn't feel like she's overstepping now? (wouldn't it be funny as fuck if lucy's techno-touch made nancy's phone go to voicemail when carson called to keep her out of trouble 😂)
-"get your coat" sweet jesus, carson is such a bitch lmfao
-nancy makes the bookclub comment in the funeral ep but she clearly doesn't read the same kind of books as nick & tiffany did. "how did she reach you?" - this is honestly so telling. bc nancy doesn't know. she has no IDEA how to reach him. she knows none of these books, she recognizes ISBNs and inns around town but none of what nick is made of. this ep is what made me know for fact that nick and nancy wouldn't last.
-"turn back time" okay cher lmfaoooo
-checking "visitation logs" foreshadowing w gomber
-"my mother made salt circles around my high chair" in the seance ep bess comments how she does not envy victoria for seeing what she does. given george's proclivity to the supernatural, wonder what victoria's solo years being a single parent w george as her only child were like. if she was seeing shit like her newborn surrounded by darkness...
-"i'm gonna take my break" LMFAOOO BITCH U AINT BEEN HERE ALL DAY!!
-"how are you so calm??" its that emotional irregulation babey
and lastly:
-i do love how ace calls nancy to handle bess tho ☺️💙
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1800-seungshine · 7 years
Text
responsible.
member: bae jinyoung  genre(s): high school!au, hoobae!jinyoung, fluff summary: all the matters regarding bae jinyoung’s grades is now placed in your hand but it seems like it’s not just his grades that you’re going to take responsibility for. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 2.3k 
note: a requested scenario by an anon! i’m so sorry if it’s really lengthy hahah but i really really hope you like it ;; thank you for requesting, once again it means a lot! as well as that, many thanks for the likes, follows and reblogs - words can’t say how much i truly appreciate it, thank you thank you ; ~ ; < 3
all a’s with a rank that never goes below than top five 
you wouldn’t be a member of the student council for no reason
warm, friendly, responsible and hardworking - you’re the definition of being a blessing 
esp to the teachers bc you’re one of those kids who actually help them and not give them a headache (unlike me smh) 
like tbh you’re not the school president 
but somehow people treat you like you are bc why aren’t you the school president??
you’re even more responsible than the school president and your attendance is better 
the votes are rigged!! jk it’s not 
a lot of students know you, not just because of the student council 
but because you’re a really great tutor 
like the greatest 
you could probably take over the teacher’s job bc everyone just comes to you and asks
that’s why the teachers love you so much lmao 
you have so much patience and kindness that you don’t mind getting bombarded by questions and taking your time to teach others
like forget the religion of hwang minhyun 
that doesn’t exist here bc the religion of the “angelic sunbae” does 
yeah you earned that endearment after some random seventh grade kid yelled that out loud when you were in tenth grade and somehow it stuck with you all the way till your last year of high school
now everyone just refers to you as that name 
and that’s how bae jinyoung knew you at first 
“jinyoung-ah. you see that sunbae? she’s the school’s angelic sunbae.” 
jinyoung looks at the direction of his friend’s point, the smile that lights up on your face and the way your eyes crinkle as you laugh with your friends causes his stomach to churn
but this boi isn’t really the brightest so he thinks he ate something 
yeh like his feelings oOHOOHOH 
“angelic sunbae?” jinyoung softly repeats to himself, his eyes never leaving you.  
that of course wasn’t really proven until his grades drastically dropped 
apparently it dropped so much that his teacher deemed it as concerning 
like the boi only went from 98% to 70% - at least he passes look at me i winged an aural test and if i get 50% i’ll be over the moon
but this cute baby did admit he was struggling with the topic they were currently learning despite feeling so insecure confessing it 
so the teacher was like “issok boi, i gotchu.” 
and by that his teacher meant “lemme hit you up with the only student who i know can do this bc im not dealing with your crap” 
idk if your life is all sorted or you just don’t seem to have one but you happily agreed tho bc why the hek not
hence why you enter the school library and start searching for this student
you weren’t really expecting much bc you’re obviously used to helping other people when it comes to academic things 
bUT HOT DAMN THIS CUTE GUY WITH A SMOL ASS HEAD STARTS CHALLENGING YOU INTO STARING COMPETITION 
and bc he was the only person in that area, you assumed that he was the one you were gonna teach
i mean you were prepared to teach him 
didn’t mean you were prepared for the fact that he was really handsome
you walked up to him with an apologetic smile bc even if you came right on time, he still had to wait and you felt guilty for that 
“sorry, were you waiting long? i didn’t know you’d come earlier.”
meanwhile jinyoung’s just staring at you, looking all flustered and cute bc he’s freaking out on the inside 
he just doesn’t know what to do in front of you so he simply shakes his head bc sha sha sha yknow 
so there’s like this five second silence of awkwardness before you flash a smile at him 
and your smile makes him feel alive again like is that even possible when he’s been living the entire time 
“well i’m y/n and i’m going to tutor you from now on but don’t fret, i’m not that strict and as your tutor, i’ll do my hardest to make things easier for you to understand but don’t be shy and speak up if you have issues okay?” 
he’s not really giving you a reply bc he’s just listening to how nice your voice is since it’s really soft and gentle
after all he hears on a daily is daehwi whining and jihoon with his stupid aegyo experiments so your voice is something he could get used to 
but bc he aint answering, you’re just looking at him waiting for a reply and he’s making this entire thing more awkward than it should be so he just nods
apparently for you, that nod is enough to make you feel happy and giddy so your smile widens and he swears that the whole room just became brighter 
“so, do you wanna get started??” 
tIME SKIP WHOOSH WHOOSH BOIS 
okay so you’ve been tutoring for about a few months, three days a week
at first he clearly wasn’t the talker but that was okay
your social skills were as good as the visuals this boi was blessing you 
but bc you were really friendly, he opened up to you pretty quick 
and now he’s just being a little piece of r00d crap 
nowadays he’s treating you like you’re the younger one by patting your head and using his height advantage to tower over you before giving you that damn cheeky smile 
sometimes he even drops honourifics and calls you whatever he feels like
“did you just call me a little kid- ” “no, sunbaenim. i didn’t say that you must have been hearing things.” 
lol who says you were complaining tho, you’re growing fond of him 
but ofc i made you oblivious so you wouldnt really know that you’re not just fond of him, you like him ahah howbowdah 
meanwhile underneath cheeky!jinyoung is filled-with-anxiety!jinyoung who ain’t up for the fact that he could get busted anytime soon 
busted for numerous reasons 
cos for one, he basically knows everything you’re teaching him bc he’s outright smart 
that topic that he confessed he was struggling with? 
yeah that was highkey a lie, he just didn’t want to outright tell the teacher that he binged watch fancams and fan-made videos of pristin’s joo kyulkyung instead of studying for the exam (pls support pristin btw) 
and second, jinyoung may or may not have started liking you 
it was weird bc at first he thought he was just sick
but what sickness includes symptoms of making excuses to see a person, trying their hardest to make that person laugh and being restless at night bc all they to do is think about the person?? 
that’s right folks 
influenza 
i mean,,,
love yeh that
so those marks of his that doesn’t necessarily show improvement?? 
lmao jinyoung purposefully answers them incorrectly to keep his scores down 
bc you tutoring him is the only way he can keep seeing you 
but haha guess what it’s that time of the semester again where he gets more exams 
this time tho you were gonna motivate him even more 
“okay, baejin.” you say to him, pulling out his favourite drink and placing it on the table 
he’s just looking at it with a cheeky grin, “wahh sunbae, i didn’t know you were the type to bribe people.” 
you playfully glare at him but a smile still reaches up to your face a nano-second later 
“i’m not really the type to and it’s actually my first time.” 
jinyoung just grins, his eyes never leaving you as he leans forward on the table, “i must be special then.” 
of course, you roll your eyes bc wow this kid used to be so shy towards you at the start and look at the boldness he has now tsk tsk
“you are special.” 
enter jinyoung’s heart going ‘dugeun dugeun’ (totally making a snl reference) 
jUST KIDDING HIS HEART’S HAVING A HEART ATTACK IT’S DOING BACKFLIPS IN HIS CHEST 
ok ok why am i getting excited i know the ending to this wheezes 
“ever since mr. jung gave me the responsibility to tutor, your grades also falls into my hands,” you begin in a rather serious tone that is immediately contrasted when he sees you grin again, “and whilst there isn’t really noticeable changes onto your results, this test might determine things so i’d like to propose a deal with you.” 
jinyoung simply raises an eyebrow cos he aint taking you seriously after all the silly antics you’ve been showing him for the past few months 
“y’know, this would have been more effective at the start when i actually took you a little more seriously, sunbae.”
“well, i didn’t think of it earlier okay! i’m human too,” you slam your fists on the table gently with a pout, 
srsly not a good idea to be happily stuffing your face with food bc he took a lot of photos of you, reasoning that “you’re just too cute. i can’t help that.” 
“bUT OI- IM NOT DONE YET. LISTEN TO ME.” 
jinyoung just watches you, laughing to himself bc you’re cute when you’re annoyed. “okay, okay i’m listening.”
“right, well if you get at least over 90% for two out of your upcoming exams - regardless of any subject, i’ll reward you by granting your wish.” 
lmao this boi was doing his best to maintain a poker face and not let out that mischievous smile of his bc he’s gonna pass these test with flying colours.
“well what if i don’t get a 90% for my exams?” he questions causing you to think about it. 
“i don’t know, you can be my slave for three months or something. i’ll think of the consequences later but do we have a deal or not?” 
he leans back on his chair, holding his chin almost as if he’s thinking about it thoroughly 
a huge lie cos he’s just damn pretending 
“hmmm, 90% for all exams and you have yourself a deal.” jinyoung says with a confident smile 
you let out a sound of approval, slowly clapping “since when was little jinyoung so confident? are you sure?” 
“of course! so deal?” he extends his hand 
grinning, you take his hand and firmly shake it, “deal.” 
wHOOP WHOOP ANOTHER TIME SKIP COS HAHA WHY NOT. 
you were waiting for him to arrive, casually sipping your favourite drink and his on the table 
once you see him enter the library, you instantly jump out of your seat 
his exams are finished and the results have been finalised, resting in his bag 
but he’s walking towards you with an unreadable expression 
suddenly you’re feeling anxious and worried bc he looks upset and you don’t like seeing him sad 
“baejin...did it not go well...?” 
he’s looking down, not giving a reply and just lets out a sigh 
your heart’s close to breaking bc he must have put so much effort and hardwork into studying 
yet the next thing you know 
there are these exam papers on the table and it certainly aint yours so you look over them
and all his exam papers were all marked with a’s and nothing below 95% 
so now you’re just confused and standing there frozen bc your brain isn’t processing it well 
five seconds later you look up at him, a fist raised in the air bc you were gonna punch this guy for tricking you 
your tears were gonna come out wth this guy srsly
but you see that smile of his, eyes filled with so much joy that you can’t help to forgive him
“yah! i got so scared - i was gonna start crying.” you whine, slapping his arm lightly 
jinyoung just lets out a laugh, ruffling your hair. “sorry, i just wanted to tease you a little.” 
you roll your eyes but still grin, “whatever, weirdo but i guess i have to keep the promise so as a reward, i will grant one of your wishes! have you thought about it yet??” 
he sends you a wide smile before nodding, “yeap.” 
“okay, what is it?” 
“spend a day out with me.” jinyoung says but instantly back pedals by stuttering a little, “i mean - if you want to though. i’m not forcing you or a-anything.” 
you look a him, trying your hardest not to blush and ignoring that slight skipping of your heart. “so, like a date basically?” 
“i-if you want to consider it as a d-date.” 
“okay. it’s a date then.” 
jinyoung just pauses then looks at you with widened eyes, “wait- what?! really? you’d go on a date with me?” 
so now he’s just freaking out mentally and emotionally bc he was expecting a cold-hard rejection 
he even practiced the situation with daehwi 
you’re just laughing, shaking your head in amusement bc this boy can be really cute, “yeah why not? it’s not every day i get asked out by a cute guy.” 
jinyoung with his red ears, blushing cheeks and grin that goes from ear-to-ear feels like celebrating 
he could go on the table and just dance right there and then if he had no self control 
“but can i ask you something?” you stretch your arm to poke his cheek and he immediately nods his head 
“how did you get above 90% for all your exams? i thought you were struggling with these concepts.” 
jinyoung sends you one hell of a mischievous grin and you can sort of tell that something isn’t right, slightly stepping backwards as he begins to explain, “i may or may not have been lying about my low grades...?” 
“oH MY GOD. BAE JINYOUNG - WERE YOU JUST TRICKING ME THE ENTIRE TIME??” 
“ONLY BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! FROM NOW ON, YOU HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY GRADES AND MY HEART.” 
“THAT DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR IT - i mean it does bUT STILL! COME BACK HERE!” 
and hence to end the day, jinyoung blasts out the library and into the beautiful sunset, laughing away as you start to follow suit and beginning the chasing game.  
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