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augustjustice · 2 years

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I see your “Eddie fell first, Steve fell harder” and raise you:

Steve Harrington falls in love fast.

It happened with Nancy. Nancy Wheeler, junior year. Make outs in dimly lit high school bathrooms and study sessions where all they had done was study and impromptu pool parties that quickly led to the revelation that this thing with Nancy was more. More than what he’d felt with the other girls before, even the ones he had really, really liked. And with his sudden, intense fall from infatuation to something more with Nancy Wheeler came the uglier parts--Steve’s jealousy and the awful choices that Steve could never really make up for. But even from the worst parts bloomed some of the better ones: Steve learning to own up to his mistakes, to apologize without expectation.

And that’s when he had stumbled into the monster fighting, and the entire situation had delivered a healthy helping of the wallop to the head Steve needed to start to really turn his shit around.

He had loved Nancy Wheeler, quickly, passionately, fiercely. He loved her, and she had made him want to be better. She had made him want to be more.

It happened again with Robin. Long days slinging ice cream for minimum wage while Robin mocked Steve’s every attempt to flirt turned to top secret code cracking missions. After the luck Steve had had, he isn’t even sure why he had been surprised when their play at being heroes had led to Robin and him being kidnapped, tortured, and drugged out of their minds in a secret Russian facility underneath the Starcourt Mall, strapped together and giggling madly as they reminisced about Click’s class.

In the span of a few hours, Steve could feel it, that tell-tale clench in his chest, like he was dropping on a roller coaster. Falling, fast and swift, like he always did, even when he was certain they were going to die.

And he’d owned up to it, coming down from the high, huddled on that dirty mall bathroom floor. Only for Robin, overachiever that she was, to one up his confession with her one of her own, fear in her eyes as she admitted to longing stares at Tammy Thompson, upending everything Steve thought he knew and turning his world on it’s axis. Robin Buckley--his Scoops Ahoy co-worker, his brother in arms, the girl he was quickly coming to realize was his best friend--liked girls.

Steve thinks, even now, the most shocking part about it had been how it changed everything, and nothing at all.

He loves Robin Buckley fiercely, still, with everything that he is and wishes he could be. If platonic soulmates exist, she’s his. He would die for her without even batting an eye.

It isn’t the love he thought he was looking for, but, in so many ways, Steve thinks it might be better.

So, when it comes around again, it isn’t as surprising as Steve guesses it should be.

Steve has been avoiding Eddie Munson for months now, since not long after the start of fall semester, when Dustin had come whizzing into Family Video to tell Steve all about the school’s club around the kids’ nerdy little fantasy game and the amazingly cool DM--dungeon master, Dustin explains later, and, seriously, how that is not a sex thing is still beyond Steve--who runs it: none other than “the Freak” Munson himself.

Steve remembers Munson, from school. It’s sort of hard not to, what with his flair for the dramatics, the way he was always putting himself out there and painting a target on his back.

King Steve had been a tiny bit jealous of the fearless way Eddie was so willing to be openly, unapologetically himself.

Babysitter Steve is a lot jealous when Dustin and the other shrimps, stars in their eyes, go on and on about how cool Eddie is now.

So, no matter how many times Dustin insists he thinks that Steve and Eddie would actually get along, if they ever got to know each other, Steve avoids him.

The Upside Down, as it so often does, seems to have other plans.

Turns out, Henderson, little shit that he his, had been right. Again.

A few days of helping Eddie hide from the cops and Upside Down misadventures is all it takes to realize: he and Eddie do get along.

Eddie, who looks to Steve for explanations, big brown eyes curious and anxious, and then actually listens to Steve when he provides them. Eddie, who catches Dustin by the shoulders when he looks like he’s about to charge into Lover’s Lake himself and play wrestles with him in the grass as they prepare themselves for battle, falling into the roll of de facto big brother as easily as Steve always has. Eddie, who grins wide and teasing as he calls Steve big boy and presses his should right up against Steve’s chest as he lays down a plan of attack, always invading his space in a way that should be too close for comfort but Steve finds he doesn’t mind. Eddie, who confesses that he considers himself a coward despite all evidence to the contrary; who backs up Steve’s protests when the others are ready to charge full speed ahead into danger; who calls Steve a bad ass with a delighted twinkle in his eye after he bites into that gnarly demo-bat; who admits, open and easy, that he was jealous of Steve too.

Eddie, who along with everyone around Steve, has somehow gotten it into his head that Steve and Nancy are on round two of their second chance romance, fated to fall back into each other’s arms here at the end of times.

He tells Steve so, in no uncertain terms, while Steve’s eyes drift downwards, the moment feeling surreal as he watches Eddie’s mouth form the words.

He buys into it, a little, though, he guesses. Enough to admit his cross-country dreams had included Nancy, as they trek to take care of Vecna once and for all.

Even as he says the words out loud, they don’t quite sound right to him anymore.

A silence falls after his admission, Nancy looking at him like she knows she needs to say something. And then Robin, his own personal guardian angel, interrupts them, and the moment passes.

Their moment passes. For good this time.

After they’ve done all they could to put a stop to Vecna, they head back to Eddie’s trailer, their agreed upon rendezvous point.

As soon as he sees the two figures huddled on the ground, a cloud of demo-bats dissipating in the air above them, Steve breaks into a run.

Dustin is clutching Eddie in his arms. Steve falls to his knees beside them, reaching out to shoulder Eddie’s weight himself.

Steve is certain that he’s dead.

The thought seems, for just a moment, to make his own heart freeze in his chest.

Beneath him, Eddie suddenly sucks in a wet, rattling breath.

“Shit,” Steve exhales, realizing only then that he had been holding his own, “shit, Eddie. Hey, man. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

Beside him, Dustin lets out a wrecked sob. He looks at Steve like he believes it.

“I thought I told you not to be a hero,” Steve says, later, voice quiet but stern.

They made it to the relative safety of the mobile home and are now tucked together in the back, Eddie’s head sprawled against his knees. Steve keeps an arm clutched around him to keep him as still as he can, Nancy taking the curves back to the Creel House way too fast.

Steve had seen the severed rope as they trundled, just barely, out of the portal in the roof of the trailer and back into the real world. Dustin has been limping ever since they found him.

Eddie had gone back. To distract the bats. To protect them. He’d even done his best to save Dustin from playing hero in the process.

It was brave, and heroic, and stupid, and Steve aches a little at the thought of it.

“Couldn’t let you show me up this time, big boy,” Eddie slurs, the laugh in his voice almost choked as he blinks blearily up at Steve, brown eyes dazed but bright.

Then he passes out in Steve’s lap.

Oh, Steve thinks, hand gripped around Eddie’s wrist, his steady pulse beneath Steve’s fingertips a comfort as a new kind of panic starts to rise.

He feels it. The thickness in the air as something clenches in his chest, dizzying, like a rollercoaster drop.

Falling.

Oh, holy shit.

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #my stuff #my things #headcanon #i guess?#long post #not!fic #*tosses this into the void*

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exhuastedpigeon · 5 months

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What if post shooting and post telling Buck about the will Eddie and Buck got married so Buck could do step parent adoption with Chris to avoid any issues IF Eddie died.

It's Buck's idea because he really doesn't like the idea of having to go to court and fight Eddie's family and Eddie just takes it as another sign that Buck is the perfect person to take care of Chris if the worst happens.

So they get married and Buck legally adopts Chris, but nothing else changes.

Eddie is still with Ana and he still panics when he thinks about a future with her. Buck still calls him out on not loving her and Eddie still breaks up with her.

And Buck is still with Taylor and they still have their drama and move in together and breakup when they realize neither of them is going to change.

Eddie still leaves the 118, the only difference is that Buck isn't worried about losing Eddie anymore because they're legally bound, not because they're married because Buck doesn't really think about that, but because of Chris.

But then Eddie is back at the 118 and they're doing their little flirty dance with each other and they act like a family and no one questions it because that's just Buck and Eddie.

When Buck is struck by lightening and dies it's Eddie who the hospital goes to about his care because Eddie is his next of kin and when they did the adoption paperwork they also changed their power of attorney to each other because it just made sense.

No one at the 118 questions it, but the Buckley parents do. Maddie just explains to them that Eddie and Buck are family to each other and leaves it at that, even though the Buckley's are still clearly confused.

But then they're both dating people they like and at a barbecue Natalia jokes about how she almost broke up with Buck when she thought he was about to be a dad and that's when it comes out that actually Buck does have a kid because Chris is legally his and then everyone has a meltdown while Buck and Eddie are just like “why is this weird??”

Cue them realizing that it really isn't normal to marry your best friend so he can legally adopt your kid and that maybe there are some other feelings involved.

#buddie #9-1-1 #buddie 911 #buddie drabble #buddie notfic #not!fic

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ailelie · 2 years

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I want a Leverage/Stargate crossover in which Parker, Hardison, Eliot, and Sophie all know about Stargate and all think they are the only ones who know.

Eliot is easy. He worked for them. He's been off world and has seen aliens up close. He doesn't want that danger anywhere near his team and, if they knew aliens were real, they would seek them out.

Parker, pre-Leverage, was once going to steal from a goa'uld. She's hidden away and safe, but sees the goa'uld change hosts or similar. It is one of the few times she walked away without her score. She still stole something, just not what she had gone for. She also neatly accepted that mind controlling snake monsters are real and that made her much more accepting of the impossible and, weirdly, less afraid in general. Nothing beats a mind controlling snake monster.

Hardison hacked his way into the mountain base while setting up in Portland. He didn't go in deep; he was just looking for something cute and Santa related for Parker. Instead, he found a mission report some idiot had sent in via email. The report had video. Brutal video. He watched. Three times. And then bought himself a new computer solely to hack deeper and figure out if what he saw was real or fake. It was real. He was thrilled--space ships and aliens were real! He was terrified--space ships and aliens were real and not very friendly. He wanted no part of that.

Sophie conned her way into a dinner with military officials. It wasn't even for a job. She was just bored and wanted to test out her skills. (Part of her also wanted to get caught. Part of her post-Nate was a bit self-destructive). She found a man fuming and lent a listening ear. With a bit of alcohol and a lot of pretending to know more than he did, she learned about the Stargate program. She locked that knowledge up deep, ready to wield it if ever needed.

And then, one day in New Orleans, SGC comes knocking for Eliot. It is one of the times that Hardison is home with them. Eliot is cooking and Hardison and Parker are teasing him in the kitchen. Harry is out. Breanna is working to undo a virus Hardison created for her as a challenge.

Then, say, Cameron Mitchell walks in. Eliot glances over from where he's cooking at the stove and says, "No. Turn around. Walk away."

Hardison has gone still. He remembers Cameron's face from the reports he read and watched. "How do you know Eliot?" he asks.

"We used to work together."

Hardison turns to Eliot, eyes wide. "Eliot?"

"Better question," Eliot says, turning off the heat. "How do you know Mitchell here?"

"Someone has to keep an eye on what the government is doing," Hardison vamps, part of him still hoping to end this conversation without Parker learning about the spaceships and aliens.

"Dammit Hardison."

By this time, Parker has hopped off the counter and walked up to Cameron to get a better read on him. She also nicks his wallet and firearm. "Catch," she calls to Eliot as she tosses the firearm to him.

"Parker!" Eliot chastises as he snatches the gun. "Don't throw firearms."

She shrugs. "I knew you'd catch it."

This is the first time Cameron has looked wrongfooted this entire time. "What?"

"Cameron Mitchell," Parker reads from his ID. "Airforce."

Cameron swipes it back from her. Parker lets him. As she turns, she catches Breanna's eye and gestures to her ear.

Breanna pulls out of the code she was working on and starts looking for any foreign frequencies to find out who is talking to Mitchell.

Sophie, who has been watching quietly this entire time and noting Cameron's military standing, takes into account his actual division and the ways Eliot and Hardison are acting and clearly talking around something. She decides to make a gamble.

"Does this have anything to do with the Stargate program?"

Eliot, Hardison, and Cameron all freeze and look at her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," Cameron says, "But how do you know about the Stargate program."

Sophie offers him a beatific smile. "People do talk--" she pauses and gives him a searching look "--commander is it? Interesting that the commander himself came to talk." She turns to Eliot. "This might be important."

Cameron spins to Eliot. "Did you tell her?"

Eliot crosses his arms. "I've not said anything."

Parker raises her hand. "What's the Stargate Program?

Hardison is the first to speak up. "It is a secret program that deals with threats from space."

"Like aliens?" Breanna asks, continuing to hack into Cameron's comms. She's surprised by the layers of protection.

"Yes."

"Okay," Breanna mutters. "Cool. So aliens are real."

Parker raises her hand again.

"You don't need to raise your hand, Parker," Eliot mutters into his hand.

"Are any of these aliens mind controlling snake monsters who like Egyptian antiquities?"

Now every eye is on her.

"Yes," Cameron says, stretching the word out. "How?"

Parker just hops back up onto the counter. "I stole from one."

"Did she just say she stole from one?" A woman's voice plays from Breanna's corner.

"So I've hacked their comms," Breanna says.

Cameron nearly growls in frustration. This was not how this was supposed to go.

"Why don't you invite the rest of your team in?" Sophie says. "Eliot, will we have enough food?"

Eliot rolls his eyes and turns back to the stove. He turns the heat back on and gives his dish a stir. "I was making enough for leftovers. We'll be fine."

"Who are you people?" Cameron asks. "I mean, I've read your files, but--"

"Oh, how did you like those?" Hardison asks. "Beauties, aren't they?"

"You forged your records?" Cameron asks, his tone flat.

Sophie touches his elbow and guides him to a seat. "When you've taken over a small country, darling, paperwork is child's play."

Cameron looks at her, sees she isn't lying, and laughs. "Okay. Fine." He calls his team in. They'll have dinner. And then they'll discuss saving the world.

#sg-1 #leverage #fic i want to read #not!fic #this got away from me

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itshype · 1 year

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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Godhood (DC x DP)

What’s the best way to cover up a secret when Danny can’t lie very well? Make an even more elaborate lie – but one that tugs on the heartstrings! My DC x DP Previous Works: Space Lover Danny, Kingmaker Danny, Service Animal Cujo, Danny yoinks Connor, Ghost Bruce HC + Ghost Jason HC

So, Danny's government just made his existence illegal. Which is rude and very othering and mean. In canon, Danny sort of slides around this but hey, this should be a pretty upsetting incident.

So, Vlad immediately switches his attitude (because your girl loves redeemed Vladdie!), and the two work together for weeks to try and minimise any chances of either of them getting caught. Danny is really feeling the whole “Only two of their kind” when his president declared open season on Danny (I don’t care if this isn’t how laws work in America. I’m not American I don’t care for foreign legal accuracy).

And so, weeks later, they’re actually together in ghost form with Extended Team Phantom (Tucker, Sam, Jazz and Valerie) trying to figure out their best way forward because if Vlad openly opposes these laws as Mayor too publicly the GIW might start looking at him way too closely and everything would unravel. They really can’t pretend that revealing the possibility of a human/ghost hybrid wouldn’t put events around whichever of them hadn’t been caught under a brand-new light.

Valerie is there pretending not to be emotionally invested in her boss’ and Danny’s welfare while reading a book and occasionally leaping in with “Devil’s Advocate” comments of how the Fenton parents and GIW might respond to some of their ideas.

Then the Justice League show up. Now there’s a whole law (please see Navigate any storm for my HC about the JLA’s relationship with the anti-ecto acts) they're obligated to step in. Now, I’ve been pretty uniform with who I’m including in these notfics so for a change, here we get Wonder Woman, Barry Allen’s Flash, Supergirl and I think Jason Todd but dressed up as Batman (Bruce got a booboo on his ickle frontal lobe and is out for the count, Flash and Supergirl are here because I loved their dynamic in all crossovers in the DCTV universe PRE-crisis).

Here we have the perfect storm of well read (Diana and Jason) but kind of gullible and not-as-paranoid as Batman (Flash and Supergirl, Jason is definitely suspicious but would defer to an expert like Wonder Woman in the right scenario).

Diana has shown up ready to fight, Hestia’s lasso glowing in her hands, and Team Phantom is sharp – they’re well trained and smart, but they can’t really compete against superhumans like the JLA. Diana demands that they all surrender and relinquish control over their human sycophants before being taken into custody for violation of the anti-ecto acts and performing actions of war on civilians or whatever other legal stuff she knows about.

The two halfas are floating and green so denying any knowledge would be bad. Vlad steps forward to try and babble on to buy Danny time and he scrambles for an escape. He doesn’t see a way out, but what he does see is the book that Valerie was reading. Percy Jackson. He looks back at Wonder Woman. Back at the book. Back at the Daughter of Zeus.

“Cousin! It’s so great you came to visit us at last!”

That at least gets Wonder Woman to pause. She asks what he’s talking about. Then “Batman” says not to let the ghost confuse them. He’s glaring at the vampiric ghost who seems to be trying to protect the smaller one. Vlad has legs, Danny has his little tail form.

Danny lets out the fakest laugh you’ve ever heard. He explains that ‘of course’ they weren’t ghosts. They were superpowered beings. Superpowered beings are protected by metahuman law.

“Batman” points out that they both look a lot like ghosts. Danny’s mind is scrambling for the right names. He finds them.

“Oh, I am actually the son of Melinoe, goddess of ghosts.” Daughter of Persephone, would make him Diana’s first cousin, once removed. Totally fit in with his power set plus she was a really obscure goddess who wasn’t very well known or documented, and therefore he could make up stuff about his ‘mother’ if he so chose.

“And who’s the vampire?” Barry asks, though Jazz, at least can tell that everyone is way less on-guard.

“I am…” There’s a very long pause. “His Father. Deimos. God of Dread. Son of Aphrodite and Ares!” Danny wants to smack him.

Okay, great, Vlad just ‘yes, and’ed Danny from being a demigod to the both of them being full-blown gods in their own right. Sure.

“Yes! I am Phantom…”

Jazz cuts him off to say that his name was Phántasma [φάντασμα] and of course the locals just anglicized it to Phantom from the original Ancient Greek. Danny agrees and goes onto explain how he was a pretty new god – y’know, comparatively – and these were some nice humans who were all considering becoming his priestesses and priest. Sam ducks in to explain how Phantom – sorry, Phantasma, was the god of ghosts finally relinquishing hold on their forms and surrendering to the afterlife. Something chill and small, nothing that would necessitate him getting involved with human affairs and no abilities that would mean any extra attention from the Justice League.

Diana starts to cry, she thought she was all alone in the world and right here was her cousin. All along she had family in the realm of men, family who had been so excited to meet her yet who had not reached out. Unfortunately, Danny made a mistake. Melinoe isn’t Hades and Persephone’s daughter. She’s Zeus and Persephone’s daughter. Diana connects the dots and in a single instant stops crying.

“A baby brother!” She reaches forward to squish Danny’s face.

Jazz takes great offense at that. Danny is her brother (though she can’t admit that). Danny’s at closest, Diana’s half nephew – but since he’s her half nephew on BOTH sides she’s willing to concede him as her full nephew. Diana argues that since her Dad is Danny’s grandfather and great-grandfather plus great uncle, their ichor is close enough that he’s basically her full brother. Ironic as Deimos would actually be closer to being her half-brother. Vlad is a creepy old vampire though, not an adorable teen superhero.

Tucker makes up a very elaborate story about being too insecure to reach out before now. He requests Phantasm’s blessing to convey this story to Wonder Woman so that Danny doesn’t have to say anything.

Valerie gets out a notebook to try and map out this fictional family tree while googling all the deities’ names she doesn’t already recognise. It makes her thankful it is only fictional. Phantasma’s family tree looks more like a Christmas wreath. “Batman” is also trying to figure out the most appropriate relationship between Phantasma and Diana in his HUD.

This is when everyone has made their biggest mistake, not paying attention to Vlad for more than a minute. This is a problem he is thrilled to remedy. His chest swells and he starts to prattle on about how hard it’s been for him as a single father since his beloved Melinoe died in the God War (Wonder Woman’s cinematic canon prequel). Of course, Supergirl asks how they survived, and they say some very broad things about sheltering in the afterlife where Ares could not reach them, as gods are most powerful in their own domain.

Disregarding the fact that if this all were true, Danny would be about 100 years older than her, Diana acknowledges that a child without a mother must struggle and offers to help Danny whenever necessary. If he wanted to, he could come live with her in DC and meet all her superhero friends to help guide him.

They’re scrambling for a reason as to why Danny would turn down this offer. Vlad speaks first. He explains that since his mother’s death, Danny has overtaken her domain as the god of all ghosts and, while Phantom is very clearly not a ghost, he couldn’t possibly leave all his subjects. Especially since the stupid GIW keep attacking father and son. Vlad says that honestly, the US government should be glad that they haven’t smote them, the GIW and everyone else who would challenge them.

Diana is horrified. Ghosts are revolting scum, and her two new family members are full-blooded gods who shine with otherworldly power and definitely not the glow of ectoplasm.

Whenever any of the other superheroes (who are more clear-headed at this time) try and ask any probing questions either:

Danny insists that a mere mortal wouldn’t understand the scope of his abilities

Tucker yells at them for daring to question “Phantasma’s” great authority

Sam insists that she would hate to be told the answer, that everything her god does is for her to decode. She asks what they think the symbolism of Danny robbing a bank could be.

She offers to get them in touch with the president and he could make them both special advisors to the GIW – the JLA had only been called in due to how much trouble the agency were having and bringing two gods in would be a quick way to get the entire situation ship shape.

The flash gets in touch with Phantasma’s high priestess next week, he reassures everyone that the ‘misunderstanding’ is all cleared up. Danny’s officially the CEO of the guys in white.

Hope everyone enjoyed. Masterpost coming soon.

((Dan as Hades???))

Here's "Phantasma's" family tree - simplified

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dereles · 2 years

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Okay but have you considered Stiles’ dad getting shot earlyish in canon, he needs pretty extensive surgery, they don’t know if he’s going to live and Stiles is sitting there alone, shaking apart in the waiting room.

Derek sits down next to him without a word, listens in to the surgery, and calmly tells Stiles exactly what’s going on. He tells Stiles exactly what the doctors are saying to eachother, even when it’s looking bad, stops Stiles from pulling his hair out and stays with him for hours through the whole thing. During a pause, Stiles asks why he’s doing this, and Derek tells him I know what it’s like, not being sure if you’ll have any family left. And that’s the moment Stiles starts to see Derek for who he really is.

(Derek gets to tell him that his dad is going to be okay, lets Stiles collapse into him with relief, feels Stiles’ thank you thank you thank you against the skin of his neck. Derek says it’s the doctors you should be thanking, and Stiles is quiet for a moment before he whispers yeah, but thank you for not making me do this alone.)

#sterek #derek hale #sterek fanfiction #sterek prompt #not!fic #h/c #sterek imagine #sterek prompts #sterek angst

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frikatilhi · 2 days

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hello! 🫡 If Jere were to get angry at Bojan, and not like "wash your clothes" angry but really upset with him, what do you think would be the reason?

(I'm in my angsty bojere feels tonight, looking for reasons to suffer some more)

Anon, I saw your second ask and don't worry! If I don't want to answer something I won't 💕 Angsty thoughts welcome, sometimes you just need an outlet 🫂

Jere can handle when Bojan gets snappy, they sometimes both do, but it's usually because they're tired and frustrated and nothing major really comes of it. Luckily they're not usually in a mood at the same time.

So it's not anything Bojan does to Jere, it's not when he's a slob around the house or when he forgets something important or doesn't treat him right for just a second - those are easy.

What really gets Jere going is when Bojan doesn't treat himself right. He's getting better at taking care of himself, but sometimes he slips - slips into the darkness a little too far.

So that one time when he's sleep deprived, anxious, coming down with something but afraid to stop, missing Jere like crazy, upset about sales and numbers and a stubborn song and the future and has a clash with bandmates and goes to party with other friends and drinks too much and takes something someone offers him, because what the hell, it's just this once, and ends up in a hospital for a stomach lavage plus in a tabloid, that's when Jere gets mad.

He knows he shouldn't, Bojan is remourseful and upset enough as it is, but Jere can't help it. He's far away, he can't help, he's so fucking pissed off, and he knows he shouldn't take it out on Bojan, that really doesn't help at all. But that's when they have their biggest fight. Jere says some harsh words that really cut deep, and Bojan is vulnerable and really doesn't need this right now, so he lashes out as well. It almost tears them apart.

Which is stupid, they both realise, when Bojan is better and Jere has cooled off, Jere is just worried and frustrated because he's not able to help, and it kills him to see Bojan like that, and Bojan knows this.

So they make up and talk and apologise and set up some new system for what to do when someone gets in a downward spiral, how to lean on each other at the right moment.

Because they're Jere and Bojan, and they're making it, no matter what, SO THERE.

Um, anyway. What was the question?

#ask #not!fic #here's your morning angst anon #I hope you're not getting buyer's remorse #sad bojere bitches support group

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des8pudels8kern · 6 months

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Cody: Are my feelings for General Kenobi real or just a side-effect of having been made for the Jedi? Best to assume it's the latter and not do anything about it.

Cody, two minutes after meeting Anakin: Kriff, I'm definitely in love with my General.

#i was made for the jedi and this is the only jedi i'm in close contact with.#am i really dedicated to them as a person or would i feel the same way about any other jedi?#commander cody #codywan #i do wonder if they angst about this #those of the clones who fall for their jedi #not!fic

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desk-of-nekostar · 1 year

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All right. WHERE are my petemacau girlies. Where is my vegaspetemacau fic where macau says “hia if you don’t marry p’pete I will.” Where is Macau saying “I will be p’pete’s second husband.” And Vegas saying “hey. Hey where the fuck am i in this situation.” Pete saying “we’re not even married. Wait. Are we?” And Macau saying “don’t even worry about it. Btw what do you think about a spring wedding?”

WHERE is the obnoxious Macau going “and my brother in law said this and then my brother in law did that and did I mention that my brother in law—“ Macau having the BIGGEST crush on p’pete and chay being like “wow you are more embarrassing than me about p’kim. Did you write fanfiction about marrying p’pete yet. Do you need me to beta it. Can you finish betaing my last chapter please. I’m so close to being sold to p’kim in it.”

Where!! is the childhood au where histrionic teenage Vegas constantly wants to throttle mini Macau bc hey did you know! Macau is going to marry p’pete when he’s older :) and teenage Vegas is like HES MY BOYFRIEND GET YOUR OWN (and then he cries on his rooftop and skips rocks on the pond while listening to emo music. And Pete CANNOT believe this but he is actually out loud saying the words “no Vegas of course I’m not going to marry Macau” before they even say ily to each other.) Macau gives Pete drawings and poems and flowers ripped from the gardens BECAUSE P’PETE DESERVES THEM HIA and now Pete has to pawn entire bouquets off on his grandma bc Vegas can’t stop himself from competing with his little brother.

Where is my martial arts au where Pete is Macau’s teacher and Vegas picks Macau up after class. And there is FLIRTING happening right in front of Macau’s salad!! And he has to beg “p’pete PLEASE don’t sleep with my brother everyone who does DISAPPEARS after!” And Pete is like. How do I explain a one night stand when I am just a simple martial arts teacher. And also I’m definitely going to sleep with his brother.

Every time Macau says hi or bye “I love you p’pete!” Immediately follows bc it makes Vegas SEETHE. and when Vegas calls Pete his wife Macau just judges him and is like “hia please it’s the twenty first century. What if p’pete doesn’t like that. You should say husband instead.” Pete leaves the room immediately bc Vegas calling him “my wife” is literally the the most tame thing he likes Vegas to call him.

Shit disturber Macau who’s like “hia you’re so old I think p’pete needs to trade you in for a younger model.” Macau who sits in between Vegas and Pete on the couch at any chance he gets. Macau who negotiates and somehow wins a date night every two weeks with Pete where Vegas isn’t allowed to come with them on the basis that ITS FAMILY BONDING TIME HIA. And Vegas puts up with it bc sometimes he needs to do creepy satanic rituals in some fucking peace and quiet for once.

Macau who doesn’t even realize he likes Pete!he just thinks Pete is the coolest fucking person ever! What the actual fuck is he doing with Vegas! (But he’s not going to say that out loud bc what if p’pete REALIZES and LEAVES and that means he’s not just leaving Vegas but Macau too!!!) Macau who dates a boy and is DISTRAUGHT when they break up and chay is like bro thank god he was way too much like p’pete I thought you were over that crush? And Macau is like WHAT CRUSH.

Anyway. I just think Macau having a crush on pete or pretending to in order to cause Vegas grief is great.

#vegaspete #vegaspetemacau #petemacau #kinnporsche #sorry y’all it’s 3am and I’m drunk #not!fic

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kewltie · 7 days

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bkdk au where katsuki is a burnt out superstar spiraling out of control and izuku his v good at managing disaster & when ppl are the worst, he's at his BEST so he's tasked to help katsuki regain his crown except an hour within meeting each other katsuki already fired him THREE TIMES.

izuku is soft spoken, detail orientated, and weirdly clumsy but sincere. he's the opposite of a corporate shill trying to squeeze whatever money is left out of katsuki's fame and fortune. he actually cares and wants the best for katsuki and KATSUKI CANT EVEN BULLY HIM TO QUIT. katsuki grew up in the limelight. both his parents are famous designers so he used to be a child model, then a child star, and then A SUPERSTAR and his face was plastered everywhere. he been in the spotlight all his life and it’s searing.

katsuki's vice isn't drinking or smoking etc bc he's not fucking stupid enough to touch that shit but it's his volatile temper and his inability to work under and with ppl. he's his worst critic bc he holds himself to ridiculous high standards and expect everyone to be the same. he would set filming back for hours, DAYS even, just for retakes but he's unhappy with his performance or his partner. he'll fight with the director and coworkers bc their vision doesnt align so ppl start accusing him of making it a toxic work environment, his violent tantrums, and how he's impossible to WORK with and how he mistreats his coworkers and the other staff members. someone even leaked to the gossip rags that katsuki threw an equipment at a staff once in anger.

which led to a floodgate of BAKUGOU KATSUKI'S STORIES how he is so difficult to work with, how toxic he is, and how nobody want to work with him even after the story about him throwing stuff at a staff was proven false but damaged to his reputation was done. he was ostracized.

katsuki just brushed it off that he doesnt care even though acting is all he ever wanted and even though many the stories were lies, HE WAS AN ASSHOLE and difficult and hold ppl to ridiculous high standards and loses his temper so easily so yea he fell in to a rut until izuku who is v v v good at being his best when ppl are at the worst which means he's great at cleaning up messes and somehow amidst the thunderous and violent storm of that katsuki rages, izuku always find his peace and can juggle katsuki's anger and his anal perfectionism with ease.

katsuki has anger issues and even though he's going to therapy for it, he has a hard time controlling his outburst and that's scary for most ppl bc they think he's capable of much violence from what they heard even though there's never been a proven story that he ever HIT anyone. izuku is mild-manner and v sweet. he's polite to everyone he interacts with and is very kind to the employees but he's also reckless to the point of stupid sometimes that he has no qualm snapping back at katsuki bc he knows in his heart that katsuki's bark is worse than his bite.

izuku has watched katsuki's grow up on screen & news. he seen all his movies & dramas. bought all his magazine covers. he knows a star when he sees one. katsuki was made for the screen, to be up the among the stars, shinning brighter than everyone but he got to fix himself first. even though katsuki has all the talent and skill but it doesnt mean he can get away with treating ppl like shit and his loner only-i-can-do-it is not helping him gaining any friends and allies in the industry. being talented is no excuse for being a piece of shit to others.

izuku admires katsuki deeply and sees so much potential in him but katsuki has to turn his attitude around first and out of katsuki's own volition. izuku can encourage him but he cant force him to change for the better. this is something katsuki has to realize on his own. izuku didn't single-handedly make katsuki a better person, he's the initial kickstart that made it possible but all the effort is on katsuki he wants to do better, to be better. to fixed all his broken relationships and repair his mistakes bc he wants to prove everyone wrong. but more importantly he wants to go be good to prove it to himself that he's worthy to stand at the top and be the person who is worthy of izuku's love and admiration all the while the world hyper scrutinizing his every move and ready to tear him him apart if he make one slip up.

like katsuki doesnt being an ASSHOLE lol he's still brisk and blunt with ppl but when he feels like he's going to lose it, he takes a step back, breathes and immediately look for izuku. izuku will smile encouragingly at him and suddenly all the loud noises in his head quiet down.

izuku becomes his emotional crutch. he always there on every set of every commercials shoots, TV, and films. it becomes known that you cant hire katsuki w/o izuku there watching over him. they call izuku his tamer/wrangler as thought katsuki is a wild animal and izuku hates it. bc he knows katsuki is trying his best & he has his mood and temper but he making a lot of effort to not fall back into the horrible person he was once so yea, izuku isn't TAMING katsuki one bit but ppl like that narrative better then the thought of katsuki being a change person.

it's not like katsuki less of an asshole tho. he still fight w ppl and say asshole things like firing izuku five times this month bc they couldnt agree on his schedule and bc izuku refused to give katsuki a key to his apartment even though izuku has his phone AND key to his house. izuku can freely go in/out of katsuki's house and izuku has access his phone bc they have nothing to hide. izuku go wherever katsuki go and when they answer someone request it's always "we do this" or "we'll think about it" bc they're one unit and are married w/o marriage part.

it's kinda codependent how much their life are intertwined with each other that katsuki cant work w/o izuku there and izuku spend literally every part of his day with katsuki no day off; no vacation; no life outside of katsuki. their name and life are so bound, it's... unhealthy. even when katsuki is one his way to the pinnacle of his career again and he's the new comeback king, izuku feels uneasy bc he feels like he's holding katsuki back bc bc ppl are like YOU CHANGED HIM, YOU MADE HIM BETTER, YOU DID THIS, oh what would bakugou be w/o you there to help, completely dismissing katsuki's efforts bc izuku can schedule all the appts he want w katsuki's therapist and try to get him there but it's katsuki who has to actually SHOW UP and actually work with the therapist to improve his temper and behavior and try to be the better person.

he also realizes that katsuki relies on him too much that as his emotional crutch and that izuku felt good to be needed like that, that izuku has issues to work on that his sense of self worth is tied up in how much he can do for katsuki and how much katsuki needs him. this is why izuku likes this kind of manager job bc in the midst of all this chaos, izuku can find his calm and feels a sense of value to himself when he can solve and fix things for others. that he's only good when he can do something FOR THEM not bc he himself is worthy.

so when during at the height of katsuki's career, izuku packed up and completely disapepar one day, while leaving katsuki with a new manager, new and very good jobs opportunities with the best director and scripts, and planed out literally a year of schedule ahead for katsuki. izuku go on his long waited vacation that he rightfully deserved after working for katsuki W NO DAY OFF for literally almost 3yrs. he traveled the world, sight sees, learn about new cultures and himself and rediscover the person he can and is without the attachment of Katsuki. while katsuki ages bc izuku is gone and it was fucking rough for him that first month w/o katsuki and it's like he fell back to dark time where his emotions cant be contain and he lashes out but with the help of his friends and family, katsuki slowly gets a grip of himself. w pure spite like he's trying to prove something to the world that he CAN LIVE W/O IZUKU, he can be this better version of himself w/o izuku handholding him and HE CAN!!! his career shoots off and he's improving and doing so much better and ppl stop bringing izuku up around him.

katsuki is thriving and living his life w/o izuku there. his career is doing amazing and his reputation is nearly salvagable now but even when he's doing perfectly w/o izuku and prove to everyone and himself that DOESN'T NEED IZUKU, he realizes that he WANTS IZUKU rather. he doesn't need izuku to fix him, to make him better, but he want izuku as a part of his life bc he loves izuku and wants him there in every space that he occupied. he wants izuku deeply and profoundly in a way that all the fame, trophies, awards, and money can't ever give him.

so instead of searching for izuku and force him to come back to him, he make izuku COME TO HIM out of his own free will by making a movie w izuku's favorite director and picking izuku's favorite script and making a fucking film dedicated TO IZUKU that only izuku can see. he finds a way to get the movie premier ticket to izuku's hand and izuku stares at the invitation and doesnt know if he should or how to answer it. like all these past months w/o him there, he saw katsuki's career took off and how he able to stand on his own two feet w/o izuku. he doesnt need izuku anymore. maybe he never needed izuku in the first place and it's heartbreaking bc it like katsuki is moving on w/o him but here is this invitation and it's calling him to come back. he doesnt know if he should but izuku always put his job first, others first.

so maybe it's time to be a little selfish and get what he wants because through traveling the world, izuku finds there's so much to see and experience but everytime he turn around and want to point out something amazing, he calls out katsuki name and realizes he's not there. izuku is content with himself but he NOT HAPPY bc katsuki isn't there with him bc being with katsuki makes him stupidly and ridiculously happy even though when it wasnt healthy that time, he misses katsuki so deeply it hurts. he wants katsuki to be there with him to exp life. so even when he knows katsuki is better off w/o him, izuku decides to be selfish once in his life and takes that invitation and go see katsuki in his new movie except when he arrives at the theater; there's nobody else but him. it's like this place is rented out just for him.

he watches the movie; it a short film that he and katsuki had seen a hundred times bc it's by their favorite actor turned director toshinori yagi. katsuki is monologuing izuku's favorite scene from the movie and it always make him teary and katuski made fun of him for it lol. but now katsuki is acting out his favorite scene and izuku IS CRYING AGAIN but nobody is there to tease him. he's WEEPING EVEN HARDER bc katsuki on screen is so, so fucking good delivering the lines like a fucking punch in the heart and-and he cant believe he stupidly walk AWAY.

"i-i miss you so much, kacchan," izuku mumbles to the screen and suddenly a familiar voice enters his ear.

"say that to my fucking face, stupid," katsuki says, appearing out of the darkness and nearly scaring izuku to shit but omfg izuku being honest with himself FOR ONCE.

katsuki is like be selfish with me, tell me what you want and izuku weeps and chokes up as he confess i want you. KATSUKI breathes a sigh of relieve bc fuck he wants this more badly than he wants anything else in the world and now they're FINALLY agreeing on something.

"i want you to work for me," katsuki says because he's an asshole and just as izuku about to shoot him a glare bc he's NOT WORKING for katsuki. they're not going down that road again. "as my boyfriend, dumbass," he scolds him bc he's also a dumbass who is bad w/ words lmao

izuku hiccups and smiles through tears. "what would you pay me with then?"

"my body," he grumbles and izuku goes red bc they're dumb and in love and now izuku can be katsuki's bf w/o worrying about unhealthy work dynamic that comes with their deep attachment to each other.

it started with izuku being katsuki's emotional crutch and his sense of self worth being tied to how much katsuki's need him, and them realizing it's FUCKING unhealthy so they separate, grow independent and realizing they're ok w/o each other but are more HAPPY TOGETHER.

#bakudeku #not!fic

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withthewerewolves · 9 months

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GoldenHeart Fix-it AU

Ok, so I know that everything between Ballister and Ambrosius needed to happen for themes, and parallels, and narrative foils, and all that freestyle jazz. I realize that changing this sort of ruins Ambrosius’s character, and makes Nimona a sidekick in her own story, and such. But consider this-

It made me Sad.

So what if an AU where Ambrosius is messed up by being the direct descendant of Gloreth in a slightly different way, and is a little less hinged as a result.

The beginning goes down exactly as it does in the movie. The sword pommel lights up, the queen dies, Ambrosius swings his own sword. There’s a moment where it all freezes, Ballister still on his knees, gripping the place where his shoulder ends, big brown horrified puppy eyes locked with Ambrosius’s, begging for something (forgiveness? understanding? his arm back?) that Ambrosius can’t pull his scattered thoughts together long enough to give him. And then the jumbotron crashes between them, and when the dust clears, Ballister is gone.

I don’t know exactly how long it is between the Night of Knights and when Nimona finds Ballister. It has to be long enough for him to:

a) find the hideout and equip it with what he needs

b) design and build a prosthetic arm (using his nondominant hand)

and c) heal enough to install said arm.

It also can’t be too long, because:

a) the knights haven’t managed to track him down yet (perhaps this is giving them too much credit)

and b) the story is still all over the news.

I’m thinking this means less than a month, but not very much less.

In the movie, Ambrosius spends this time doing…something unimportant. Crying in his room? Punching training targets until he can’t stand up? Researching survival rates for unintentional arm amputation? Doesn’t matter. In this AU, he spends it spiraling. He starts with one absolute: Ballister wouldn’t do anything bad. He saw the sword kill the queen with his own eyes, from much closer range than his nightmares would prefer. Alright. So why, then, WOULD Ballister do such a thing?

He’s already struggled enough with the pressure to live up to Gloreth’s memory. We see that this sits heavy on his golden shoulders, and that both the Institute and the people put him on a pedestal. He’s seen the way the other trainee knights treat Ballister. We see that it bothers him, that Ballister instinctively holds him back from fighting Todd, as if this has happened before. We know that he knows that Ballister has worked harder than anyone, that he’s the best in their year, and that his lack of noble blood may (will) still ruin things for him. We know that he cares about protecting people, that he considers that to be a knight’s job. We see him choose to protect civilians, clearing the streets, when all the other knights rush to fight the monster. He can't be totally satisfied with the Institute’s training and ideology.

He doesn’t eat (he can still smell the burning flesh as his sword cauterizes Ballister’s arm, even as he cuts through it). He doesn’t sleep (his dreams are nothing but green light and Ballister’s pleading eyes). He reads a lot of anti-monarchy blogs. Maybe he finds some futuristic-fantasy Karl Marx. Maybe there are some activists protesting systemic inequality and they have a website with a list of useful terminology and their definitions. He absolutely does not research mortality rates for unintentional arm amputation. He stops telling himself that has no clue where Ballister might have gone (maybe it's time to give up lying to himself altogether).

He leaves the Institute. He maybe says some imprudent things as he’s leaving ("Bal was right! Any system that allows you (Todd) to be a knight deserves to be brought down! Tyranny never wins for long!”). He sort of wants to leave his sword and armor behind, possibly with some amusing graffiti scratched into them, but he doesn’t know what Bal might be planning, if he might need it, and surely it’s symbolic, to attack the Institute using the tools of its oppression? On that thought, he does make one tiny detour on the way out.

He finds Bal. There was only one place for him to be, once Ambrosius set aside the need to arrest him and let himself remember. I think it has to be before Nimona finds him, because Ballister puts on the new arm right before, and I want him not to be wearing it when he cautiously opens the door to his crumbling hideout to find Ambrosius framed in a shaft of late-afternoon sunlight, hair limp, eyebrow twitching like it used to before big exams, eyes maybe the tiniest bit wild.

“Ambrosius?” Ballister is pretty sure he isn’t hallucinating. Yeah, the initial wound was rough, and the shock got to him, and he definitely had a fever for awhile there. But he’s been lamentably rooted in reality for weeks now, and he thought he was over that little mental hitch every time he heard a noise in the next room and realized anew that Ambrosius wasn’t the one making it.

“Thank Gloreth,” Ambrosius says, because he may not have researched unintentional arm amputation but he does have an overactive imagination, and here Ballister is, upright and maggot-free and wielding a broken mead bottle.

He has a speech planned. He’d recited different parts of it over and over on his way here. There were some good bits in there.

Instead, he sees the gap where Ballister’s arm should be and loses the structural integrity of his skeletal system. “Darkness Beyond, I chopped off your arm.” His voice is mostly air pretending to be sound.

“Uh,” Ballister says. “Yeah.”

“I need to sit down.”

Ambrosius maybe clanks a little as he sits (it’s not a fall if you state your intention before you hit the ground), but it’s ok because Bal is wearing his armor too (except for the right vambrace - nope he can’t think about that or he’ll vomit) and he clanks too when he crouches in front of Ambrosius, filling his entire visual field (the edges will come back eventually, he can still see the important part).

“I CHOPPED off your ARM.”

“Are you here to -”

“I chopped OFF your ARM.”

“You were disarming a weapon -”

“Who even does that? Who chops off people’s arms?”

“You were just following our training -”

“Arm chopping is NOT a LOVE LANGUAGE.”

“Forget the arm!” This catches enough of Ambrosius’ attention to drag him back into himself, because Ballister doesn’t actually get upset that often. He can’t afford to, not where the other knights or their trainers might see. He especially can’t afford to, when it’s just the two of them and Bal has to shove all the anger back down himself.

“I don’t think I will ever forget the arm,” he says, but he smells Ballister’s sweat, like after they used to run miles in heavy armor, instead of roasting meat. He sees confusion and concern in Ballister’s eyes, instead of that horrible entreaty he never managed to answer.

Ballister clunks to the ground beside him, back to the stone wall, missing arm shielded by his body. “No. I don’t know that I will, either.”

Ambrosius doesn’t know what thoughts Ballister is caught in, but he can’t help drinking in his silhouette, familiar and beloved and so much more fragile than he’d ever imagined.

“Can you ever forgive me?” he asks, even though he told himself he wouldn’t.

Ballister turns toward him enough that Ambrosius can see the bitter quirk of his lips. “For the arm? Or for thinking I would kill Queen Valerin?”

The last minutes have been the closest Ambrosius’s mind has been to still since that series of frozen seconds after Ballister’s sword flashed, followed by his own, but now it screeches to a halt. “You….didn’t?”

Ballister’s head swivels slowly to look at him, like in one of those scary movies Bal likes so much.

“Why not?” Ambrosius asks. It isn’t the question he means to ask.

“WHY NOT?!”

“I mean - because the monarchy is an outdated system that prioritizes bloodlines over ability - and the whole idea of nobility is classist - and the other trainees were awful to you just because you grew up on the streets - and why do we even HAVE kids growing up on the streets, do you know how much the Institute’s operating budget is? We could fund a million orphanages! Or -”

“You think I would kill the Queen because some assholes were mean to me?” Bal is not tamping his anger down now. Ambrosius reminds himself sternly that Bal doesn’t like being angry, so it’s rude to think about how hot it makes him look.

“No! I knew you’d have other reasons!”

“The Queen is the one who LET me train to be a knight, even though I’m common born!”

“She shouldn’t have had to let you, you more than earned it -”

“So you thought I would KILL someone?!”

Ambrosius doesn’t have anything to say to that. He’s busy trying to re-sort all the stuff he JUST re-sorted to make room for Ballister killing the Queen, to make room for him NOT to have killed her. Does that mean he should put it all back where it was? How can he, now that he’s seen? He isn’t sure he wants to. He slumps back against the wall. After a moment so does Bal.

“So what…did happen?”

Bal swallows hard, his nervous tell. He doesn’t look at Ambrosius. “I don’t know.”

Ambrosius is running on fumes, and he’s had to reorder his worldview twice in a short period of time, but he does still have a brain under the fabulous hair. “Someone framed you.”

Bal glances at him through the corner of his eye. He’s somehow both more open and more closed off than Ambrosius has ever seen him. “Yeah.”

“Were you the target? Or the Queen?” Yeah, he’s been reading the anti-monarchy blogs, but no one seems to have any specific issues with Queen Valerin. She’s fine, as far as queens go. No one has mentioned assassinating her. Actually none of them seem to have any plans whatsoever. But the activists have plenty of plans, and they didn’t talk about assassinating her either. Isn’t there supposed to be a different internet, just for criminals? Maybe they talked about it there?

“Gotta be the Queen,” Bal says. “Which means the real killer is still out there.”

"Hm," Ambrosius says, because he's thinking about all the stuff people have been saying about Ballister, both online (where he can scroll past it) and in the Institute mess hall (where he cannot). He's wondering if Todd, who is unfortunately not as stupid as he looks, could have pulled off something like this, when he feels a light touch against the outside of his thigh, where his chainmail doesn't cover.

It's the first time Bal has touched him since before the ceremony. It's just the barest brush of the side of his hand, and could've been accidental except for how it's carefully placed so he can feel Bal's body heat through the cloth of his trousers, and how he knows that Ballister doesn't touch people by accident.

Ambrosius can't tear his eyes away from Bal's hand. He's not wearing his gloves (glove). The skin on the back is cracked like it gets in the cold season, unless Ambrosius sits on Bal and applies the moisturizing cream himself. The nails are ragged and bitten close to the quick, and something dark is trapped under them, possibly the same something that's streaked along the base of his thumb.

How's he supposed to clean under his fingernails with one hand? How is he supposed to WASH his hands, for that matter? Ambrosius quickly stops thinking about it. He’s here now. He'll clean them himself.

"Do you believe me?" Ballister asks, and Ambrosius darts his gaze up to Bal's face. It's turned away, as if he can't stand to see the answer to that question.

Bal's chin is scratchy where he hasn't been maintaining his facial hair, but Ambrosius revels in how warm and alive he feels under his fingertips as he tilts Bal's face toward him. "Bal," he says. "Of course I believe you."

Something in Bal's eyes breaks, or heals, or cleaves like a sword through bone. He slumps, suddenly looking like a teenager playing dress up in the huge armor he'd worked so hard for. Ambrosius wishes he wasn't wearing his own, because Bal tips so that his head is buried in Ambrosius’s chest, and that would be so much more satisfying for both of them without a chestplate.

Ambrosius buries his face in Bal’s hair (lank and unwashed, but smelling so much like BAL that he wants to roll around in it) and maybe cries a little. Bal maybe cries a little too. Ambrosius makes a mental note to get them both out of their armor as soon as possible because he needs to hold Bal properly, feel the warm living weight of him, maybe lay down and pull Bal over him like a blanket, revel in the soft puffs of Bal’s breathing, the chill of his toes, the flutter of his eyelashes against Ambrosius’s skin, the physical realness of him. All the little details his imagination could never get right.

Probably he does get to do this. Probably he gets them bathed and wearing fresh clothes (he probably packed a duffel bag from their shared dorm room), and maybe feeds them both some canned beans he finds in Bal’s mostly empty cupboards. Probably Bal shows him the prosthetic arm, which is nearly finished, and lets him marvel over the genius of it. Probably he says that once they’ve got Bal’s name cleared he should become an engineer, what was he doing wasting a mind like that on being a knight?

Probably they get to take a nap, pressed together on the couch. Probably Ambrosius is horrified anyone has been sleeping on that biohazard, let alone someone with a healing wound. Probably he’s too tired to come up with anything better.

If we’re kind, we could maybe give them just this one sleep without any nightmares. They need to be firing on all cylinders, because they’re going to be woken by a loud banging at the tower door.

I personally think it would be very funny if Ambrosius is completely on board with all of Nimona’s plans. He probably pushes for non-violence if possible, and then when that fails, for at least leaving innocent civilians out of it. Nimona isn’t convinced the civilians ARE innocent, but Ambrosius has some ideas for breaking stuff that intrigue her. Bal is horrified by the entire conversation, and has to be talked out of just going to the Institute and explaining himself. It works this time though, because Ambrosius knows exactly how unreceptive the Director is going to be.

Todd is the one leading the search this time, so he probably leads them in completely the wrong direction while our heroes talk to the squire. But if they do have a confrontation, it’s worse. There’s no intention to arrest them unharmed. There’s no chance to explain. No relationship talk over locked swords. He’s got the knights shooting to kill.

I’m not sure how Nimona reveals her shapeshifting. Probably Ambrosius is just as upset as Bal is, but he and Nimona are anarchy buddies. He makes himself take a step back and examine his initial reaction, possibly while narrating his thought process. If he didn’t condemn her for skewering guards on her rhino horn, he can’t condemn her for HAVING a rhino horn, can he?

Maybe the happy ending for them is this AU is different from the happy ending in canon. Maybe after they release the video of the Director, they do set out together to explore the world beyond the Wall, all three of them. But it isn’t because they’re afraid of the kingdom or the people in it. It’s because they aren’t tied to the kingdom anymore. They’ve all moved past the boxes the kingdom would try to put them in. They don’t NEED the kingdom anymore. None of them are going to be alone.

And adventure awaits.

#nimona #ballister x ambrosius #please talk to me guys #I wanna DISCUSS #my writing #not!fic

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definitely-not-an-alb · 2 months

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ooh, how do you think molly would grift essek?

Alright. Let’s grift Essek.

First I need to note that any objection along the line of ‘Essek is too intelligent to fall for grifts’ is unnecessary, because whatever you think of Essek’s specific characterisation, assuming you are to intelligent to fall for a grift is one of the major ways people fall for them, in a ‘renowned high pressure social group researcher proclaiming on twitter that Sissy Porn is real and dangerous’ kinda way (look it up it’s some hysterical terf bs).

Gonna use that joke as a sidenote that if I am conflating grifts and high pressure social groups in this, it’s ‘cause as far as I care the difference is how self-aware the people running the show are. Watch any MLM-Doku (and I think we can all agree MLMs are grifts) and you’ll inevitably get to the part about weird aspiration culture bs and group pressure. It’s all one soup.

With that out of the way, let’s establish a baseline: What’s Molly’s reason for grifting Essek? Probably money and also the fun of it/being bored. Considering Kingsley abandoned his perfectly fine shipping company job to run off to be pirate king, I don’t think ‘Molly keeps grifting long after the M9 have become financially stable for shits and giggles and because Jester enjoys it’ is too outlandish a projection. Additionally, I don’t think Molly is great with impulse control nor this whole thing where current actions cause future consequences.

Now; why would Essek fall for a grift. Grifting relies on the dupe wanting something more than having good sense about it. Most people want money, so most girfts are structured around greed, but we know money is no object to Essek (though this does make him a juicy target – what he would barely miss might make a good haul for any grifter). We do know he is primarily motivated by knowledge instead, as well as a desire to be recognized as intelligent and exceptional. Additionally, we know he needs (in the character development sense) The Power of Friendship. Lastly, I think it’s fair to say he subconsciously longs for excitement (happy, fulfilled bureaucrats don’t become heretic spies; nor do they befriend a gang of mercenaries; implicitly, Essek is happier living the life of a wayward refugee-adventurer wizard than that of an Evil Gay Vizier Court Wizard or whatever papers a Shadowhand stamps nine-to-five.).

Being a paranoid bastard makes him a harder target, though the fact that we know he has fallen for someone’s bs before (I’m counting the spectacularly bad decision that is him allying with the Assembly as falling for a grift here. That’s a stupid decision to make!) makes him an easier target. Being so socially isolated makes him an easier victim, too, though his general rejection of people and clear discomfort with social interactions makes him an unlikely target for something like a romance scam. Essek’s relationship to tolerating bullshit is a weird one; on the one hand, he does put up with Jester’s (and the rest of the Nein’s) shenanigans, on the other he clearly knows how to and dares to tell someone to fuck off, and there’s that time he just ditches everyone via teleport (hilarious). So boundaries-wise, he could go either way. Lastly, I’d argue he’s at least somewhat impulsive or at least not risk averse. Always remember we are looking at an NPC next to Sword’n’Sorcery Adventurers – Essek might look cautious next to ruin-trawling wizards, but compare him to Gundula, 55, who works in Insurance and just clicked on a phishing link to claim her Totally Real Oilve Garden Gift Card, and you’ll see what I mean – most people are too risk-averse and unimpulsive to, again, commit treason via international conspiracy and then run off without a moment’s notice to dig around a cursed-ass ruin to save the world from a Cronenbergian nightmare.

Conclusion: He’s rich, he’s bored, he loves pretending to be a spy or grand discoverer, he wants to buy your dodgy foreign papers and incredible discoveries about the Luxon so, so badly and he has absolutely no one left in his life who’ll tell him it’s a bad idea.

So, for example, Molly could Voynich him. All he needs is a battered notebook and some writing supplies, whatever knowledge of what wizards’ and alchemists’ and spies’ scribbles look like he can easily pick up from traveling with the Nein and an opportunity to ask Essek to have a look at this encoded notebook he’s been lugging around all over the continent with him, why, he was at this party in Zadash and everyone else was some boring old pompous wizard (such a bore!) so he pickpocketed one of them, just for the fun of it, but, well, turns out neither Caleb nor Beau can make head nor tails of the weird sign code it’s written in (how tragic, if only someone happened to be so much cleverer than both of them!) and if Essek wants to have a look Molly would be more than happy to lighten his pack. For a small pittance, of course.

What’s small change to Essek is probably pretty nice to have for Molly, even by that level and especially if we’re mostly doing this for the fun of it. Essek gets to fall face first into his desire to show up Caleb, Beau and potentially an unknown Assembly member with his clearly superior decoding, espionage and wizardly skills and gain Secret Knowledge, maybe even Assembly Secrets on top of that.

Arguably, this one does rely very heavily on the fact that it’s hard to prove a negative, or in this case, hard to prove a barely-literate conman’s scribbles are just that. Do keep in mind Essek doesn’t know Molly is a habitual conman, but even so, it’s not a fantastic con (Essek isn’t dumb and knows his arcana after all and Molly doesn’t, or at least not enough to make a proper Voynich).

You could make it a better Voynich by getting Caleb in on it, but instead let’s pep it and turn it into a proper Real Stradivari by changing the hints that this manuscript might be legit to being alchemy-related and adding in a shill. Let’s go with Jester, because she’s down to clown, can lie and has a way with Essek’s boundaries.

So this time around, we aren’t asking Essek outright to buy our bogus notes – instead Molly gives him the whole spiel, hands him the notebook, fucks off with as little time to actually look at it as possible before Jester enters the scene to ask what THAT is and go oh it’s about ALCHEMY well, that DOES look like the signs she saw around Yezza’s house, pretty suuuure, oh, do you think it might be Yezza’s? Do you think Yezza might want it? Do you think she should ask Molly to sell it to her so she can give it to Yezza as a present to be nice because she’s such a nice friend who does nice things?

Honestly, the money part is optional if this is wholly about making Essek look up to see if the ceiling does indeed say gullible (and if Jester is involved, it might well do so! Always better to check, with her!), but a proper Violin Drop concludes with the Grifter returning to take their worthless thing back only to be asked to sell by the victim, who thinks the grifter doesn’t know what worth he has. If it was real, offering to buy the notebook would mean Essek outsmarted a minimum of three people (Beau and Caleb can’t crack the code, Molly is too dumb and illiterate to know valuable research notes from the morning paper) and gets his hands on potentially unknown-to-him luxon-related secrets! Alas, it’s not real, as he will realize soon.

So these are two (related) ways to scam Essek. But there’s a third one I want to mention one that is a lot of cinematic fun and I didn’t know had a name until Wikipedia told me no one does it irl (boo! That’s no fun!). It takes a lot of prep, math, and a lot of people and combines Essek’s obsession with the Luxon’s secrets and Molly’s penchant for passing himself off as psychic.

Molly would need something people in Rosohna bet on, like some kind of sport, preferably one with only two results and places people do said betting on said sport in groups. I’m assuming this exists on account of gambling and sports being culturally pretty universal concepts that love to go together.

Anyway. Imagine you’re Essek Thelyss, and one day a bunch of weirdos show up in court with a piece of the god you’re atheistically-heretically obsessed with. A few weeks later, you, having your ears to the ground about new developments regarding said not-god-pieces, hear one of the weirdos has made a name for himself as a outright oracle, correctly predicting the outcome of Fantasy-Dodgeball (Rosohnas’ favourite sport) perfectly six weeks running. He swears it’s because proximity to the Luxon amplified his inborn and long-trained psychic powers to predict the future.

Now, this is obviously bullshit. Except if Essek, being regrettably acquainted with the weirdos, were to ask, Molly would certainly confirm that sure, he has mystic powers and certainly they were amplified by the Luxon and predicting sport results is a hobby of his wherever they go, does Essek want to see? and lead Essek to a bar where every regular can swear on whatever he likes that Molly has correctly predicted the results of Fantasy-Dodgeball since the first week of being in Rosohna, in fact since before he himself knew the rules or track-record of any of the teams. Not only that, but there’s a second bar full of people Molly can introduce him too. And if he wants, he can certainly come back for a drink in one of them again next week when Molly has done it once more. Just call on Molly, he’ll tell you the time and date to meet some true believers, not all of whom can possibly be his shills.

(And, incidentally, barely worth mentioning, really, since Molly’s psychic blessings from the Luxon are so accurate, he has Exciting Business Opportunities for anyone willing to place more than their weekly betting budget in his trust, and he’d love for Essek to take a look at his powers. For a small compensation of his time, of course.)

Of course Molly can’t predict the results of Fantasy-Dodgeball. Instead, the first week of downtime in Rosohna, he found out what people like to bet on in Rosohna and where, picked one or two places in each district, go there and make predictions with a fifty-fifty split, then eliminate each watering hole where he was wrong each week, slowly cutting his audience back to only people who are getting to know him as That Outlander Who Always Knows The Results of Fantasy-Dodgeball, all the while escalating the story from him being just some dude betting and drinking with the guys to the whole Chosen By The Luxon thing. Considering this is a double-scam involving a faith aspect, he might very well still cash in in places he’s been wrong once only since victims of faith-based scams are very likely to overlook inconsistencies in their scammer’s stories or promised results. By the time Essek gets involved Molly’d be down to one or two places of true believers coming to him for ‘always accurate’ tips and a bunch of other people all over Rosohna he might get some money off based on the faith-aspect. And now perhaps one intrigued high-ranking government official who’s more than willing to overlook the hereticism inherent to the whole thing and is instead very likely to fall in the academic glue-trap of trying to disprove something clearly bogus that you do kind of want to believe in because like.

Wouldn’t it be cool? If the Luxon had more awesome powers? And one of them happened to fall in Essek’s hands, with no oversight and no need to cooperate with someone like Trent or Ludinus? Would he not want it to be real?

Anyway. The real answer to this question is: Enlist Beau to send bogus stuffed bills to Essek’s secretary. Bureaucrat on bureaucrat violence, let’s go.

#critical role #essek thelyss #mollymauk tealeaf #not!fic #the Psychic Sp/orts Bet is a long shot but I just like it so much I'm sorry for having Bad (Cinematic) Taste in sca/ms #anyway. I still want the world where Molly lived and Beau taught him white collar crime #Empire Crime Siblings. The dream #sorry this took so long to answer life was busy #whoever finds my spelling mistakes may happily keep them I am. so tired #now with a read more that still leaves this post much too long damn

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reinamycloud · 9 months

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shortaki chat fic series

#SHORTAKI CHAT FIC #shortaki #hey arnold #texting au #the saga continues #idk what i'm doing but it's fun so #just a bit of silliness #arnold shortman #helga pataki #phoebe heyerdahl #not!fic #aged-up characters #my posts

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innytoes · 4 months

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uhm... 👉👈 Ray hitman AU? maybe? if you were up for it? pretty pretty please? 🙏

-For those who don't know I made a shitpost about Ray being a hitman because I looked up housing prices in Los Feliz (and how medical debt works) and SIR HOW THE HELL DO YOU AFFORD THAT HOUSE ON A PHOTOGRAPHER'S SALARY.

-It starts when one of the Petal Pushers has a very abusive, stalker ex. She had tried everything, but even with a restraining order, it isn't enough. Law enforcement just shrugs and suggests she moves (again) after 'someone' breaks into her house, ransacks it and kills her cat.

-It's not like Rose and Ray meant to kill him. But it's what happens. They manage to make it look like an accident. They never tell Violet, but deep down she knows.

-Somehow word gets around and they suddenly have a booming side hustle of taking out abusive spouses, partners, exes, stalkers, etc.

-Ray starts to take on the most of the wet work, with Rose doing the research and being his alibi.

-He's always been a great shot. He won Rose so many stuffed animals at carnival shooting games that they had to start donating them to shelters.

-They do have very strict rules on who they work with and who their targets are. Ray gets very good at stalking people with a giant long distance tele-lens. Both the people who hire them (to make sure they're telling the truth) and the targets.

-The prices they charge vary, and they even have perfected the scheme of 'take out life insurance on him and we get half of the pay out' for people who are in a bad financial situation. Those are trickier because he has to make the deaths look like an accident.

-Listen I'm not saying a few of the plants in Rose's Plant Wall in the studio are toxic. Of course they aren't, they have children running around in there.

-The ones under the grow-light in the attic though....

-He tells everyone he's a photographer but really, he only knows how to work the tele-lens. Rose jokes he could become the world's greatest paparazzi if he wanted to.

-Rarely does he get up close and personal with the targets, but he did made an exception once when 'My Ex Is An Abusive Scumbag number 87' really, really wanted Ray to know the client was right by going after his kid from his first marriage, because his favourite target (their client) wasn't there to take his rage out on.

-He starts hitting the gym after that because it was a liiiiittle too close for comfort.

-As spoken by @floating-in-the-blue: THAT'S WHY HE'S SO FIRM.

-They buy a big house and have money to send the kids to summer camp and fancy music school and the likes. When people ask he just smiles and shrugs and said he signed an NDA so he can't talk about most of his Big Photography Clients.

-Carlos and Julie think their dad is the biggest goober and he totally is. He forgets where he put his phone because he's too busy with the 700 other details of his job. He can tell if any of the parts of his work-toolbox have been moved even a millimeter.

-Just imagine Reggie like: wow Ray really does a lot of research about his photography clients, I wonder if it's like an engagement shoot or something.

-IT WAS NOT AN ENGAGEMENT SHOOT. There was a shooting, though.

-He's a little shell-shocked but still follows Ray down to where he meets the client to promise her it's done, and she cries and tells him thank you and mentions some of the awful things the guy has done or threatened to do, and then he gets it.

-They stage it to look like a break-in gone wrong. Reggie helps knock some shit over when they're distracted like: he's a ghost there are no finger prints. He stays after Ray leaves and watches the woman 'come home' and call the cops. She's either a really good actress, or the tears are just more tears of relief.

-He's really, really glad the abusive guy didn't come back as a ghost though, that would have been so awkward.

-Reggie decides that Julie can never, ever know.

#julie and the phantoms #not!fic #I wrote a thing #ray molina #rose molina #reggie peters #Reggie is the best little ghost accomplice #he's been a distraction from people who might have noticed Ray 'working'#he's calmed down pets and kept them out of the way #(nobody noticed the little cat toy floating in the living room while Ray finished the job in the bedroom after the guy 'OD'ed')#has he haunted a few people Ray's been researching so they have a few awful days before they die mysteriously? Perhaps #he's also alerted Ray about stuff that either meant the potential client was lying or all was not as it seemed #or if things were even worse than they seemed #did he spend the day curled up under a pile of Luke and Alex #because he had to subtley tell Ray there was a WOMAN CHAINED UP IN THE BASEMENT?#he doesn't wanna talk about it #hitman ray

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