#just one big crazy take
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Zandik, Sohreh and the Rishboland Tigers
Hello! Last night I began to think about Dottore just before falling asleep and now I'm back to write about something that's been bugging me for ages. This shouldn't be too long, but knowing myself I'll take it way too far so...!
Anyhow, every Dottore enjoyer knows of the Zandik's Legacy notes, and I'm sure everyone has their own theory on what happened between him, Sohreh and the investigation team he was with on Devantaka Mountain (if I remember correctly). Most people argue that he killed Sohreh just for the sake of it and lied about her being attacked by a pack of Rishboland Tigers, but I'd like to argue otherwise - she was attacked by the tigers first, and Zandik put Sohreh out of her misery as an act of mercy.
First and foremost, it's important to mention that Zandik and Sohreh, despite not having much in common (different Darshans, differences in their personalities etc) seemed to get along decently well. As written in Sohreh's Note,
"...Zandik and I discussed the traits of local plants and animals. We also exchanged views on their evolution models. We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight..."
Despite their differences, Zandik made the effort to have a conversation with her and for him to agree to a picnic (hey, he could have offered first, you never know) means only that he was genuinely interested in Sohreh; if you have read my previous analysis about Dottore, then you might remember what I said about him and his loneliness and longing for companionship. If not, I will explain briefly: Zandik was rejected by his peers in the Akademiya. A monster, a madman, they deemed him, and it's easy to guess that he was very, very lonely. People were prejudiced against him, but here comes Sohreh - a Dastur who not only ignores the rumors about him, but is kind enough to talk to him, to want to see him more often. That must have been incredibly foreign to Zandik, who up until then had only known rejection and solitude.
With that said, why would he kill a girl?
Before I continue, I would like to note that we do not yet have a definitive timeline of these events. I am merely speculating based on what I know, so keep that in mind! I could very well be wrong when Dottore is released as a playable character and his Character Stories tell the true version of these events... anywho.
From reading the Ragged Attendance Record, we can understand that Zandik stubbornly acted by himself without caring to ask for permission:
"...Trainee Dastur Zandik has acted without authorization for the third time... It brings unpredictable risks to the investigation team... Punishment is advised..."
We know that Zandik meant to keep his research into these Ruin Machines secret; after all, investigating anything related to the fallen nation of Dahri was considered taboo back then.
The record continues,
"...Dastur Sohreh of Amurta has been critically injured under the attack of Rishboland Tigers. In need of first aid..."
Just what happened? It's unclear how she got injured. Can we assume that these records were written hours apart, perhaps? If so, assuming that Zandik had nothing to do with her injuries, how would he react to Sohreh getting hurt?
Moving on to the Sumeru Investigation Team's Note - this was very likely written after the Ragged Attendance Record, considering what we learn in it. It says:
"...Thank goodness, Zandik reacted quickly. Otherwise, the whole team would be in serious trouble...
...The terrifying killing machine has stopped. Zandik insisted on bringing it back to the Akademiya to be disassembled and reverse-engineered. That was absolutely ridiculous! Sage Sharnama reprimanded him and removed him from the author list.
...We buried Dastur Sohreh and sent the wounded back. Looks like this field research has come to an end..."
If we go over it line after line, we learn the following:
Zandik likely deactivated the Ruin Machine that attacked the Investigation Team. He must have gathered enough knowledge at that time to know how to deal with them himself; he also exposed that secret knowledge to the rest of the group, which only helped in strengthening the prejudice people had against him. Considering he acted so quickly, it must have been an instinct for him to solve the problem by himself/save the others.
The fact that he insisted on bringing the machine back could have played a role in the very reason why he got expelled from the Akademiya. This entire event could also be why studying mechanical life forms is now banned in Spantamad, which I believe to have been Zandik's Darshan.
Sohreh was already dead at that point, or she died shortly after the Ruin Machine attacked the group. Funny that they just buried her in the wilderness and left...
This begs one question: when would one even have the time to kill Sohreh? She was first attacked by a pack of Rishboland Tigers. Then, a Ruin Machine accidentally got activated, which Zandik quickly stopped, and there were even more people wounded - likely due to the aforementioned machine (oh, and if so, this might imply that Zandik hesitated to act). Of course, it could have been anyone else that choked Sohreh to death. It could be that someone just put the blame on Zandik because he was so hated. But if we are to assume that he and Sohreh shared some sort of bond, then perhaps he did it himself.
Indeed, for she was already terribly wounded. This is what the Dissection Records say about Sohreh:
"...The deceased...Dastur Sohreh...
Multiple trauma wounds...
Lacerations... contusions on internal organs... hemorrhage...
...But the fatal injury is the wound on the throat... fractured hyoid bone...
Mechanical asphyxia... unable to ascertain the cause of death..."
So all makes sense - I don't even need to spell it out. What I should say is another thing; ignoring the messy timeline and half-assed guess I made about the chaotic events that took place that day, I should return to Sohreh and Zandik.
Zandik - rather, Dottore - is not an actor. He does not pretend to be someone he is not, and Escher doesn't count because that was for a mission. Aside from being a bit polite with Nahida, Dottore never, not once, pretended to be nicer than he really was nor shaped his identity a certain way to make it easier to digest for others. Think of webttore - an openly short-tempered and brash man with a complete disregard for how others perceive him. That's Dottore, and by extension, Zandik. Sohreh wrote that he was rigid - would that not be a trait one would hide if they wanted to put up a front? Moreover, Zandik would have no reason to fake being nice with Sohreh. There was nothing she could realistically give him that he actually wanted - nothing if not acceptance and friendship. Knowing Dottore and his buried want for companionship, Zandik must have been entranced by Sohreh's kindness and curiosity. That must have been rare for him to receive, having already been chased out of his hometown and openly rejected and shunned in the Akademiya.
Say they went on that picnic and found more things to bond over - would it not make sense that he would be the one to show her mercy? Sure, strangling someone is not painless; he could have lacked other options. Perhaps she asked him to do it, or he felt as if he had to - she was bleeding out and helpless in the wilderness, without access to medical aid. Zandik could have thought that she wouldn't make it and took pity on her. Or... well, who knows.
I don't know. With such little information, it's difficult to make out a clear picture of what could have gone down. What I do know is that killing her just for the sake of it makes little to no sense. Dottore is resourceful and only does things that benefit him and his research. How would killing a Dastur of a Darshan that he did not belong to help him in any way? People already despised him and he wouldn't so openly risk getting expelled and losing any means of conducting research. It just doesn't feel right to me, y'know?
Anyway, that's yet another convoluted Dottore theory from me. Remember: I myself am not very confident in it. I had only my own audacity and 4 tiny notes to write this, so! Anything could have happened with Sohreh - this is just my take on it. It's the one I prefer, anyway. I'll humanize anyone looool
Thanks for reading!
#dottore#il dottore#zandik#yet another weird theory!#by none other than me#genshin impact#just one big crazy take#sumeru#lore speculation
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DP x DC AU: Danny desperately wants to find the explosion guy. Tim is really good at covering his tracks... he didn't account for ghosts.
The explosions make it onto TV as purported terror activity and most people haven't heard of that part of the world much less ever given a second thought to care about it. The only real reason it gets reported on has something to do with the Justice League and... Danny knows too much.
He's been in training for Clockwork's court (which he's suspicious of- feels like kingly duty bullshit- but Danny is playing along out of curiosity for now) and he's learned a lot about how the living and non-living worlds collide. That means learning about CW's usual suspects- one of which just happened to have a ton of bases around the area Danny was seeing on the news.
It didn't take long for Danny to try to piece together that whoever blew up Nanda Parbat was trying to fuck with the League of Shadows, and was doing it successfully. Less green portals in the world the better, same goes for assassins. But it gets Danny thinking... Maybe he can employ similar tactics on the GIW Bases that keep spawning on the edges of Amity Park. It would at least set them back while he and his friends navigated the help line desk to request Justice League intervention. None of them can leave Amity Park, so outreach is going to have to be creative.
So Danny figures he'll just find the guy. Call up some ghosts who were there, or er, came from there and get a profile and track him down. But the ghosts keep saying it was The Detective. Annoying!
Danny goes full conspiracy theory, gets Tucker and Sam involved, and begrudgingly asks Wes Weston his thoughts.
He hadn't expected Wes to garble out a thirty minute presentation (that had 100 more slides left to go before he cut it off) about how Batman totally trained with a cult and so did his kids. Danny kind of rolled his eyes but... hey, new avenue of searching in the Infinite Realms at least.
The ghosts confirm that Bombs is for sure not Batman's MO- But maybe his second kid would know? The second kid was already brought back to life though, so no way to easily reach him... Danny starts to realize that this might be the work of a Robin now. Wasn't the red one known for solving cold cases? (Sam provides this information- its a social faux pas to not know hero gossip at Gotham Galas- everything she's learned is against her will).
It all comes to a head when Danny goes about the hard task of opening a portal for the guy to come through at just the right time, explain the infinite realms so he doesn't panic and then describe what the fuck was going on with the GIW. It takes months, just over a full year, of random (educated guesses) portal generating- Finally, Red Robin drops into the land of the dead.
"So, you're the guy I've got to talk to about explosions right?" Danny enthusiastically asks.
Tim thinks he's died and landed in the after life following 56 hours of being awake and plummeting off the side of a building into a Lazarus pool. Nothing makes sense about the kid in front of him.
"Yeah, I got a guy for munitions." Tim answers cooly.
"How do you feel about secretly sanctioned government operations that violate protected rights?"
"Gotta get rid of 'em some how. Need me to point you in the right direction?" This might as well be happening.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#long post#tim drake#red robin#tim and danny team up to blow up the GIW au#Tim being known as the explosion guy is my favorite and i will not let this part of his lore go ignored#Jason is the munitions guy obviously and the ghosts go crazy over the gossip it enlights when he helps in amity park#Danny one hundred percent is living for this working relationship- what a weirdo -danny hasn't met someone stranger than himself in a min#tim bartering his services for a few more years of life and danny just pikachu facing him#Tim wants to improve his relations in the afterlife be he still completely thinks hes dead#danny: dude ur still alive#Tim: yeah thats the goal but i'll help you meet your goals first and then we can negotiate#Danny decides to make the guy super ghost rich (thinking big Haunt real estate) and send him home#Tim blows up the GIW with no remorse and with all the data back up for proper justice to be served court side#tim returns from the dead and this is how the bats learn that he's the one who blew up nanda parbat all those years ago#it takes danny so long to find tim bc tim was spiralling and only after bruce got back did he get into a normal routine enough to get got
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A wilting flower is not always beyond healing. It'll just take time.
#a small doodle! Just a little one! Wanted to draw but also didnt want to draw but also needed to draw#you know? idk if that makes any sense#dont mind me-#if anyone is worried I am okay please dont take this as some big vent or anything!#just art I needed to get out of my head. Ya kno??? nothin crazy!!!#anyway anyway im gonna go play a game or something!!! Drink water. Eat a snack! Sit down in some quiet for a moment#Yall should do that too! You! Drink water! Eat something! Sit and be calm for a moment.#welcome home oc#dandy leon#I always feel bad tagging my art of dandy alone with the welcome home tags??? uh-#my art#sketches
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Day 8: stand for the flag!
#I know i posted today already but I’m finally caught up !#I keep alternating between meme redraws + serious art + random drawings I have lying around#if anyone has any memes I should redraw feel free to drop them in my inbox#anyways#his is based heavily on that drawing where it’s Wilbur and the L’manburg flag#I love my manifoldland myyy manifoldland your my manifoldland say it to me#<- I gotta stop making this joke (I have no intention to)#I just realized. day 20-30 is gonna go crazy because of this art piece I’m finishing#it’s taken weeks and it’ll take even more weeks to be done#it’s so big and cool#the doodle discord’s seen it but no one else#manifold may#dream smp#mcyt#mcyt fanart#dream smp fanart#dsmp#dsmp fanart#jack manifold#jack manifold fanart#c!jack#c!jack fanart#c!jack manifold#c!jack manifold fanart#jack manifold art#manifoldland
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[ID: a digital illustration featuring Luz, Eda, King, and Papa Titan from the owl house. The image is set in the in-between realm. Papa Titan looms large in the background, winking at us with his claw outstretched into the foreground. The hooty in his eye socket also extends into the foreground, staring at Eda (who's in harpy form) menacingly. Her, King and Luz are floating in the space, Eda looking at the hooty unhappily, King faced away and turned back to look at us, one hand outstretched to Papa Titan, Luz looking at stringbean (surrounded by light spells) with tears in her eyes. Written overtop of the image is the lyrics "and here's to you, Mrs Robinson!". End ID]
💫🎶and here's to you, Miss Noceda! The Titan loves you more than you will know, wo oh oh!🪶✨
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#king toh#papa titan#watching and dreaming#sorry i wrote out all my tags in drafts and then tumblr ate them so i am. keeping this brief#I think a lot about how the show ends with luz technically becoming a chosen one but it's so completely earned imp#*imo#bc it all stems from her connecting with and taking care of this overlooked and lost kid who just so happened to be the son of God#and about how papa titan called himself a ''big fan'' of Eda like#imagine you're someone condemned by society at large and when u meet God (bc you fucking died) he says he wants you to live#even more he wants you to want to live. which is important bc you're fifteen and suicidal#this shows crazy man#i sometimes worry that bc i mostly only talk about what i like about the show ppl think i don't care/don't get it#which is dumb#but like. i talk about what i like about the show not bc i don't have crit of but just bc like. the parts that are good are REALLY good man#i love her (toh) dearly and it fucks me up we're coming up on the 100 day anniversary of the finale. insane#anyway. tumblr pls don't eat this i only have so many years left on this earth
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sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise
#fratboy sabito posting#sabito#kny sabito#idk#was suddenly hit w the realization that i think him being a countryboy/redneck kinda crazy is *hot*#[head in hands knees on the floor folded in despair]#i know im southern but this wasnt supposed to happen. it wasnt supposed to be this way. what the fuck man.#sabito & giyuu keep makin me Into shit!! what the fuck!!#i wanna draw him doing wheelies and flips off dirt ramps. doughnuts. taking off his helmet n having dumb lil marks from it.#trying and failing to convince giyuu to drive a dirtbike & instead him getting on a 4wheeler#sab & makomo bullying him for being scared of dirtbikes but not the literal Twice As Big 4wheeler#idk. sabito just seems like a biker in general to me. dirtbikes just got the most 'will do bat shit insane stuff for funsies' vibe to em#all of them are a bit crazy but dirtbikes are Scary crazy. bmx bike tricks but it has a fucking MOTOR why are you doing 20ft leaps and flip#off cliffs what the fuck.#i can see sabito being a little deranged when he gets excited. normal when hes chill but as soon as he sees somethn fun all#sense goes out the window. he needs to be child harnessed to keep him from throwing himself off a wall like 'i could totally make that jump#on one hand giyuu gets life experiences and exposure to making new friends- on the other he has to stop sabito from being#the equivalent of a human lemming trying to throw itself into the hands of death at every waking moment#sabito in turn keeps giyuu from being too boring or being a scardy cat abt things. he also learns the art of 'quiet time' and 'how to Chill#honorable mention of my vague raspy voice sabito hc#kinda slight but v obvious when he raises his voice or yells#i think the sabito brainrot is actually overtaking the giyuu brainrot now. oh no#hes fictional²!! none of this shit [motions to my blog] is canon to him#thasa whole 'nother bitch!! i declare this brainrot Unfounded#wont stop me tho. 'm havin fun
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
#of course there are extenuating circumstances! i finished my student loans in 2020 with help from family#i moved to a cheaper place in 2020. i get paid more now than i did then; even though i'm only working four days a week#obviously i am not RICH; i cannot afford to live by myself. housing here is crazy. but i can buy MEAT at the STORE#not only do i have SNACKS in the house i also have MULTIPLE KINDS! do you know how crazy that is.#and now of course a lot of it is combatting my wicked sense of guilt for buying anything i dont 'need'. like snacks.#but obviously i still buy them i just make myself feel bad about it for a while first. lmao#i mean i haven't done my taxes for 2023 yet who knows maybe i'll be hit with some big fees and i'll take this all back#but idk you gotta be grateful. anyway i think i'm gonna order pizza later#chatpost#i used patreon money to buy a new desk chair a couple years ago. a NEW one!! not one from the street!
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it’s the way billy’s a scapegoat not only in show but for the duffers too like
people will spend all their time focusing on the actions of a fictional teenager rather than question the fact these two white men were all too eager to have a racial slur used against a literal child and have felt comfortable having racism in lucas’ story without it actually go anywhere all while putting no focus on him as a character
they use it as a thing, as a prop, rather than acknowledging it as the systemic issue it actually is - like they use it, have lucas canonically experience racism and then push his character to the back
it’s so blatant too, there’s nothing subtle about it but because everyone’s so busy focusing on big bad billy hargrove, racism doesn’t get discussed in the stranger things fandom the way it should because everyone’s too busy focusing on the actions of one single fictional character
#billy hargrove#stranger things#they get away with so much because billy’s just there#the way the word racist is thrown around too is so crazy#like i wish people would just do some research and know what they’re talking about before they post terrible harmful takes that get#thousands of notes from impressionable kids#like people have convinced themselves racism is a thing that’s like#a single person perpetuates#and that no one else would be racist in a town like hawkins in the 80’s#they believe only a villain and a bad guy could hold such beliefs#which just isn’t how it works#and has never been how it works#that’s a dangerous way of thinking about it too#and they’re SO quick to ‘i’m not racist i’ve never been racist because’#and it’s like the first step is acknowledging how racism is ingrained into every day society rather than jump to the defence because you#believe that it would make you an ‘irredeemable villain’ akin to billy#like there’s such a big conversation to be had but it CAN’T be had because many fans refuse to talk and converse and l#listen and get other peoples perspectives so unfortunately this is where we’re at
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i think the most we will get is PC release (if that) this year but that means we gotta deal with those trolls bc changing angrb0da’s skin color is such a big deal to these mfs and i still dont understand that sweet baby inc shit bcuz all the information im seeing is just bundled bullshit LMFAOOO i feel like her actual character gets overshadowed by the made up problems and no one actually talks abt HER as a character or even analyses her fr (outside of here ofc) lol sms abt to make a banger with her and atreus istg
#Truth be told i dont even wanna talk abt this anymore but this topic gets brought up pretty much every week atp#How weird is it that u would only accept her if she were white#Thats literally you admitting you like her character but her being black is a deal breaker#I feel like no matter how much they want her to be a white girl changing her skin wouldnt change their opinion abt her#Theres this one (big) acct in particular thats constantly shitting on rag and its like bro u need to just leave if ur not happy#or take a long ass break and come back at times and then leave again cuz hes just miserable as fuck and yall know exactly who im talking ab#I do see more people getting annoyed with this topic and i dont blame them#its getting super out of hand and dragged out atp#Once again i do not want ppl to like her out of PITY. she deserves a very honest group of fans and if those fans are ppl#That disliked her at first but started to like her later on thats fine as long as its out of being genuine#I cannot wait for her to gain more fans fr but i have to be careful what i wish for bcuz i dont want ppl to become too crazy lol#I might just post smth on that god forsaken reddit as an appreciation post of her or smth idk yet LMFAOOO#I for sure will have to be more brave and visible with my love for her one of these days#also very grateful for that one ragnarok vp. he loves angie for sure#Anyways#Love angie for life#Gow#god of war ragnarok#rant
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zeno's ultimate pokemiku tierlist ⁉️(it's all his opinion and he loves them all regardless⁉️)
#like arrfgggdiakaktmcksmsama this was literally all for me like they knew what they were doing#i love character design i love pokemon i love miku. and then you put ALL THREE TOGETHER....#i will explain some of my choices here#poison miku is just too good but also i am a big sucker for freaky scientists with constant “worry” eyebrows#her design is just so out there and crazy (this is about the shoes. some understand the greatness of the shoes and some dont. and thats ok.)#every other miku in peak i think establishes their theme exeptionally well especially ghost bug and fighting#for ghost i already love spooky and gloomy looking characters and that miku delivers tenfold (of course shes designed by the GOAT take)#esp with the mix of ghostly and electronic/digital regarding the glitchy parts n the 01 hologram#she looks like shell invade my computer and give it a virus if i dont send the chainmail about her tragic file corruption to 10 friends#(in the best way possible)#for bug miku the big dress is a huge plus but also i just think shes adorable nuff said#for fighting - i love a delinquent character and she fits that really well. the half coat thing is a big highlight for me#also the leek theme is absolutely iconic#for the ones i didnt like as much - i honestly just think the koraidon one is a leeeeetle bit boring#dont get me wrong. it has really cool aspects like the hair and the koraidon like cape but idk#it feels like theres a lot going on but not that much at the same time? its still a really nice design tho esp the hair color#for the ones in yellow tier - i just dont like the color palletes very much . theyre still really nice designs esp fire miku#but all in all these are genuinely all amazing designs and i dont want to be too critical or mean to any of them esp seeing im not a pro#but this was really fun to see unfold!!! cant wait until the songs start dropping#in the topic of miku as well - hey muse dash where's my miku on the switch version....#please dont make us wait too long 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
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yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.
this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.
#not naming names because i feel weird bragging about them behind their back but one person who works on our show i look up to very very#highly. I MEAN I DO FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE. i am literally surrounded by some of the best in the business. but one person i particularly revere#said they were a ‘big fan of my work’ and when i was told that i legitimately went lightheaded for a few seconds#or again Ruth Clampett commenting that her dad would ‘love to see this cartoon live on’ on my art and making me bawl like an absolute baby#IT’S JUST SO CRAZY#i just. man#it’s really beyond words#and so many other kind words from bosses coworkers friends mutuals acquaintances total strangers#i don’t take any of your kindness or even just. awareness for granted#i know i’m not often vreat at responding but i do read every single tag every ask every DM! please know i never take it for granted#thank you for keeping me company and deciding i’m worth the company to keep#okay i think i have officially gone into word salad territory so it’s time to retreat#i’ve gotten much less candid for fear of maintaining some semblance of professionality but sometimes you just need to speak from the heart#(and i’ve gotten much less neurotic about that in recent months thankfully. Tumblr is my little safe haven)#so thank you for making it a safe haven at all
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Idk why the fucken... Divide between "it was alternate universes" & "Paul is just trans" ideas for Petscop has to be torn into a cavern. Paul being trans DOES make sense, but requires you to ignore huge details that immediately make it not work. The alternate universes DO kind of make sense, but require you to extrapolate out a lot of info purposefully left unshown.
It's hard to describe what i want to say, here -- i do think Paul being trans makes sense, 'splains why he & Care "look eeriely similar," you could argue he's just thoroughly blocked out that part of his life enough to have forgotten Care entirely, etc. I like it, & i keep it as i also say "Yeah, it's that & the universes theory." It's not two switches that demand you can only flip on one of them -- you can have both. You can have neither. Do whatever
#em.txt#petscop#i think my big thing is just that. I don't think it was intended#& it is not my job as a queer person to sweep up crumbs from under the rug for proof that is not there#if a creator wished to create a trans character i would enjoy if they would say as such. but mr. petscop has not said as such#& while i love the theory. if i see one more mfer say 'this is OBVIOUSLY canon & if u say otherwise ur LYING'#or 'omg ppl gotta make up crazy theories before they believe a queer story is queer 🙄' i will bite you.#i understand you are used to no queer rep so you take these scraps of dust as truth.#but do not mock people that don't agree with the plate of nothing you're serving.#discourse#yeah i think I'm being petty enough to deserve this tag. i am sorry for being mean#paul transgender is inherently based but u r stretching as much as me#I don't think the universe theory is canon or intended. I don't think there is an answer to petscop#i think it just exists & doesn't matter what it was abf#the plot of it is chasing windmills & ending up nowhere forever & ever to waste your time & be miserable#why do we want a conclusive answer from that? the explanation of petscop is this:#idk wtf was going on here. but i sure am glad Paul got tf outta there
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guys is there a possibility that any of you hold interest in adoption papers 🥺🥺
#man I am one big idiot#I say#scoring crazy good on standardized tests#with teachers calling me not normal#im just not smart with common sense#the mosquito is buzzing around the lamp??#DONT THROW THE BAG AT IT#okay but how was I supposed to know it was break#it’s glass it’s not like paper#tf is up with you#there is a singular pencil sharpener and like 3 mechanical pencils in there#all with no lead#how was that wimpy thing taking that shii down#😞😞😞😞#this is not a silly day#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles!#oops wrong tag order mb
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>.<
#tw clari overshares#i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active#but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me#just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning#i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating#i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again#but i’m so so so scared#(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!)#bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!!#what happened to her!!!!!#she got really sick i guess#it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it#i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more#feeding into the fear and letting it win#and now i’m here#in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel#i miss being a part of this community so much#i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect#NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have#i miss having fun#YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity#but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble???#the only person who can fix this is me#(obviously hahaha)#it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on#i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life#why did i let it take something so fucking important to me???#i have to end it!!!#if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting#i just feel like i NEED to say this
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I love that Discord has the ability to be so cozy and close-knit, but I hate that it’s so blocked off from the rest of the internet. And you can’t lurk; you HAVE to be active (or at least active enough to get in in the first place). Ahem anyway. you should invite me to your Discord servers.
🌀 Oooooo you want to invite me to your extremely niche DnDads Discord servers so bad ooooooooooooooooooooo 🌀
…or send me an anonymous ask about my favorite uhhhhhhh? mustelid or something. Ask me for good Lieder on a specific theme.. I’ve been listening to them all day. Maybe this shouldn’t be on my fandom blog???? It has been derailed ANYWAY idk I’m just feeling antsy and rambly hi 😁 How are you HAHA
#theoretically I could make my own#however. too shy#but also#want friends#hueurggh. truly Herculean#I am in one server and I love the people in there :) shout out#😁😁❤️#but I am simply too shy to talk most of the time#and I’m in the Patreon server but it’s TOO scary I will NEVER speak in there 😭#my problem is that I LOVE talking over the phone and in person#I am soooo talkative. love 2 yap#but when I have to TYPE I have more time to overthink#maybe I just need to get into. other bigger fandoms (lol) that have multiple big public servers#usually I like to send long voice memos (the Chalcy Podcast….) but I feel like that’s weird to do with strangers idk#OKAY SORRY WHEW LONG RAMBLE#HI#don’t take this seriously I am just antsy and feel the Urge To Post#also my only human contact for the past semester has been choir 3x a week aaaaand occasionally dnd#🥲 might be going a lil stir crazy#I would get out more but. home cozy comfy and I can pace all I want and not pay for gas#can’t wait to have public transit when I move next semester. rural girl moves to the big city yeehaw 🤠#chalcy stuff
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I feel like im.about to vormit 💔💔💔💔
#this school year the absences policy is so strict.... mom says if i feel bad then i shouldn't go but even if its excused they can just.#take away my credit if im sick too many times. so im tempted to just go and if i throw up than whatever i guess.#god but the speech they gave to justify cracking down on things out of people's control..#like. 'ever since covid hit we've seen a huge spike in absences and skipping school will not be tolorated 😡' WOAH! craaaazy bro!#i womder WHY there could be a huuuge spike in absences... Crazy! hey while youre at it.#maybe you could use some context clues! are there any CONTEXT CLUES in the scentence that you JUST NOW spoke. do you hear yourself.#jesus fucking christ. nightmare school.#im considering getting a ged bc. ive already used two of my nine allowed absences for the entire year. fucker#etemophobia tw#nooo and then the 'we are one big happy family and our wonderful students mean so much to us 🥺' right afterwards.#okay. then fucking act like it.
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