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lady-assnali · 1 year

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Some Jan being cute and iconic from last night 💖

#Jan sport #just Jan #Jan sport my love my life #this was full stop the best spontaneous decision I have ever made #I have never had a happier birthday weekend in my whole goddamn life #I was going to schedule this but accidentally posted it OOPS

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methydcox · 2 years

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I Like Her

Jankie (Jackie Centric): Inspired by “You Might Not Like Her” by Maddie Zahm

TW: homophobia (internalized and religious) and eating disorders (only one line or two)

Summary/Excerpt: “I’m me and… I like me. I like women. I like Jan… and that’s okay. I like that about me…”

If you would've told me I'd throw away my purity ring in the middle of an airport

My younger self would laugh, would never believe that

It's against everything that we stood for

She'd hate that I've smoked weed and cussed frequently

And she'd try to convert everyone I call a bestie

You'll throw shots in the dark and blackout at a bar

There'll be good and there will be bad parts

Jackie stared at her hand, the tan line of her purity ring slowly disappearing. She had just recently thrown it away when she returned from visiting her parents. She didn’t believe that it described her anymore, and she no longer wanted to be associated with something that usually had a bad representation.

The ring symbolized the girl that was pristine and obedient like her parents wanted her to be. The ring was more than just saving herself for marriage, but it meant that she would blindly accept her parents’ faith and beliefs with no questions asked.

Jackie ran her finger over the tan line and thought about how much her life had changed in the past weeks. Her friends were completely different than what she would ever imagined. They were rambunctious and unapologetically themselves. They were everything that Jackie used to want to be. She wanted to be careless and fuck up. She wanted to get so drunk that she wouldn’t remember what happened the next morning. To get so high that she felt like she wasn’t in her body. Jackie wanted to be the person she used to hate.

Someday you'll kiss a girl and you'll panic

Some guy'll break your heart and you'll feel manic

Then you'll learn to let people have their opinions

And talk about your traumas and like the body you live in

Someday you'll learn to keep your own secrets

Say you're doing okay and really mean it

You'll lose your faith a bit and question if she's you

For a while, you might not like her, but I do

She turned over in her bed and stared at the framed photo on her nightstand. She grabbed the gold frame and ran her finger over the glass. Her breathing paused for a moment as she stared at the beautiful brunette that had her arms around her. “Jan,” Jackie whispered to herself.

Jan had turned Jackie’s life upside down. From the moment they met in class, Jackie knew that she was into Jan. Yet, she wouldn’t allow herself to believe it. She wouldn’t like when her mind wandered to holding Jan’s hand or kissing her. Jackie forced her heart to stop pounding, untied the knots in her stomach, and dried the sweat that formed in her palms.

But then she couldn’t get Jan off her mind. She thought of her as soon as she woke up, while she was brushing her teeth, eating lunch, everywhere. She couldn’t get Jan off of her mind. Jan had infiltrated her space -both mental and physical-, and Jackie was not happy with how her body reacted to it.

Jackie never told anyone about her crush on Jan. Even though she was sure it wouldn’t happen, she was afraid her parents would find out and disown her. They never seemed accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, and she knew this because the church consistently talked about how being gay was wrong and that everyone who was gay would not join them in the afterlife.

Knowing that she wouldn’t be accepted, it was easy for her to denounce the religion. However, she lied to her parents whenever they asked her about it. Although she wanted to stand up for herself and be completely clear about her religious state, she was also worried that her parents wouldn’t understand why she left–they had blindly followed the religion since they had been born.

Some days feel like whiplash

One eighties, and you'll hate that

You'll label yourself just to take it back

Convinced you're not bi cause you're way too into guys

And the first time you have sex, you'll cry

You'll sometimes skip meals and numb how you feel

And you'll miss the old you, but here's the deal

That good girl you were was really fucking bad at being real

The transitional period she was going through was more confusing than not. Some days she would find herself loving the new person she was, and then the next morning she could barely drag herself out of bed because of who she was. She went through every label, trying to discover which one described how she felt. Jackie took online quizzes and read many articles to find herself. At the beginning of finding herself, she didn’t think she was anything but straight. She had been infatuated with her past boyfriend. Jackie didn’t think she could love a guy so hard and also love women.

Jackie set the photo back down on her nightstand, turning back over to her back to stare at her ceiling once again. Her eyes filled with tears as she continued to think about how different she was. She no longer had her purity ring. No longer believed in religion. She was at a healthy weight. She was no longer restricting herself to focus on something besides her sexuality. Jackie was close to being happy. She just needed to allow herself to be unapologetically herself. Younger Jackie thought she was being real and authentic, but now that she looked back on it, Jackie was being the version of herself her parents wanted.

Someday you'll kiss a girl and you'll panic

Some guy'll break your heart and you'll feel manic

Then you'll learn to let people have their opinions

And talk about your traumas and like the body you live in

Someday you'll learn to keep your own secrets

Say you're doing okay and really mean it

You'll lose your faith a bit and question if she's you

And for a while, you might not like her, but I do

Jan had kissed her. Just an hour before now. She was leaving Jackie’s place with the rest of their friends when she stayed back a moment to kiss Jackie. Jackie moved her fingers to touch her lips, wishing she could feel Jan’s against hers again. Her hands traveled to her shoulders, where Jan placed hers during the intimate moment. When the kiss was over, Jan gently smiled and left the home, leaving the ball in Jackie’s court. It’s what sent Jackie into a spiral. She panicked. It became entirely too real, in that moment, that she liked women.

It was a complete contrast of how she felt when she and her ex-boyfriend had kissed or even when she had sex for the first time. “Did I love him?” Jackie whispered to herself as her tears fell down the sides of her face. She did feel love for him, but when it came to being intimate with him, it didn’t feel how it felt with Jan. Her heart never skipped a beat, her eyes never became glossy when she saw him, and she had never felt the pulse between her legs with him.

When he broke up with her, she was crushed. She begged him to try and make the long distance work, but he told her that he didn’t think it would be worth it. Her heart had been smashed by a hammer and broken into a million pieces, but now she wondered if it was because she loved him or because she was single and had to figure things out.

Woah, woah

You might not like her, you might not like her

Woah, woah

You might not like her, you might not like her

“I don’t care,” she mumbled to herself and sat up in her bed. Jackie stood in front of her mirror. “I don’t care what other people think. Who cares what my parents think? Or what their religion thinks?” Jackie wiped her tears away from her cheeks. “I’m me and… I like me. I like women. I like Jan… and that’s okay. I like that about me…” She began telling her reflection, tears flowing down her face. “I like who I’ve become.” She bit her bottom lip as she grabbed her phone from the dresser and texted Jan. Her hands shook as she anxiously typed a message. Jackie sent it before she psyched herself out.

[Jackie] 12:21am: Hey, Jan. Can I take you out for lunch soon? I have something to tell you.

She knew that it was around ten a.m. where her parents were currently at, so even with her emotional state, she dialed her mother up.

Someday you'll think you disappoint your parents

But they'll love you not despite, but regardless

Then you'll learn to let people have shitty opinions

And talk about your traumas and like the body you live in

“Mom? Is Dad around? I need to tell you something.” Her chest tightened as she began to explain to her parents. They didn’t take it too well, but they also told her that they still loved her regardless.

“I still love you, Jacqueline,” her mom spoke.

Someday you'll learn to keep your own secrets

Say you're doing okay and really mean it

You'll lose your faith a bit and question if she's you

And for a while, you might not like her, but I do

That’s when Jackie knew. She liked this new version of herself.

A/N: as pride month comes to an end, i needed to write a fic to the song that helped me come out to my best friend :) i saw myself as jackie in this fic, although i have not been as brave as her and told my parents. but this fic and song means so much to me, so i hope you enjoyed! sorry it's not romancey hehe.

#jackie cox #jan sport #just jan #rpdr #methydcox writes

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willowser · 4 months

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after you and katsuki have the "baby talk", you're being wrapped up in him in bed and your toes are curled and you can feel the nerves tingling even in the tips of your fingers and you're shuddering through the aftershocks of a GREAT orgasm and he's so close and fucking you so deeply and lovingly and he sits up suddenly, back on his knees, to ask—

"'kay, 'm not," he's breathing so hard, skin tan and gleaming with sweat, and you don't know if he notices, but his hands are shaking when he rests them on your thighs. "'m not pullin' out, right?"

you try to swallow and your throat is dry, the nerves in your belly buzzing for a different reason. "yeah," you breathe, shifting your hips absently, yearning for the friction when he hisses and holds you still. "i mean, unless you...want to."

"d'you want me to?"

and despite the fact that you just had this conversation—you feel shy, suddenly, a little flustered at the thought that he's, essentially, putting a baby in you.

but katsuki swallows hard and wets his lips and he's flushed, in the low light of your bedroom. it could be from all the activity, sure, but his own end is coming a lot sooner than it usually does and you have an idea why that might be.

"no," you tell him, honestly, "not really."

before he can finish letting out his sharp exhale, he's back on you, cradling your face in his hands as he speaks, breathless, against your lips. "fine by me."

(and it doesn't take much more than that.)

#*after you have the baby talk=approx. thirteen minutes after #we're three days into jan. whoops #this doesnt count as a drabble hush hush it's just a silly lil thought 😌#i think it takes a long time for him to be ready to have the baby talk #and once he IS ready he's READY ykwim 😏😏😏#cw pregnancy #???????#cw children #?????#just to be safe 😌🙏🏼✨️#cw breeding #???????????#✿ thoughts: bakugou #✿ theme: domestic bakugou

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sandushengshou · 3 months

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the untamed + text posts

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scenteddean · 4 months

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I've had this 90% finished since the beginning of january, but thankfully have been dragging my heels on finishing the rest just to be done on time for a very special day <3 happy bday smart angel

#dean #my art #spn fanart #he's just a little guy...#while drawing this i realized it had a similar compostion and facial expression as another drawing from jan '22 of wrinkly older dean #made me a little emotional

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nevarroes · 4 months

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yeah okay weight gain sequence sure but also art progression🙏 I always thought I just like... sucked at sketching and linework and stuff like that so I'm glad to finally have gotten more comfortable with it (shoutout 2 gortcas)

#no tags just my random thoughts hell yeag #i think this is ... september november and jan

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zoe-oneesama · 4 days

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Wait uh I think missed something, why's the statue scene getting so much hate? Like yeah it's horrific second hand embarassment but practicing a love confession with what she thinks is a fake statue of her crush is like. The most normal thing Marinette has done wrt to her cringe teenage crush

Season 5 likes to pretend that it's the moment that Adrien started falling for Marinette:

Since we already hate the scene for the cringe level of second-hand embarrassment, them forcing us to make this scene important 2 seasons later is mega-annoying. Like, 2 Seasons ago Adrien's "feelings changed"???? Because it sure didn't seem that way to anyone watching!

And I'm extra dead because they had the scene in Season 4 where Marinette gave her genuine love confession to "Buttercup" and you can literally see Chat Noir be touched and moved by it and THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN WHERE THINGS STARTED TO CHANGE-

#but sure two seasons of nothing actually changing after his feelings 'changed'. sure jan.#realistically they just wanted to get Marinette to the Museum because that's where the akuma was going to be #which I would argue is not necessary anymore #it is the unfortunate crutch of most magical girl shows - the bad guy's schemes always have to effect somewhere where the girls are already #but at this point you can just have the Museum/Andre stuff happen and switch back and forth with our actual characters #ml salt #writing salt

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nommedtail · 1 year

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benoit blanc outfit is free (edit: until jan 10, 2023) for the among us players out there

#i made an acct just to get it lol #glass onion #collab ends sometime in jan 2023 so get the lil outfit if you want it asap #didnt think this post would get so much attn so i didnt put the exact date on lol

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theallegedbird · 19 days

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funny caption

#id in alt #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #jonathan sims #the archivist #jarchivist #fanart #avery draws #im gonna be so real rn dont expect consistent tma(gp) fanart from me anymore #i mean thats been the case for a while but my hyperfix died out months ago #i was hoping protocol would help but while magnus is still one of my special interests i just dont have the urge to make art for it anymore #also started a dnd campaign in jan and im hyperfixated on that #yknow how it is #and just busy in general #sorry chat

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inkskinned · 11 months

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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

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drieddpetals · 4 months

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do y'all ever think about the fact that Wylan literally bet Kaz money that Jan wouldn't care if he died, and then went, "Pay up, Kaz." after Jan blew up the ship?? i love him so much he's such a smartass.

also i think about Wylan saying "Maybe you can pray to Ghezen for understanding, Father," when Jan was confused about the whole Kuwei situation about fifteen times a day. it's genuinely one of my favorite Wylan quotes like yes get his ass‼️‼️

#wylan is my favorite smartass #he's also my favorite redhead #number one ginger in my heart #ignore how i'm presumably on a first name basis with jan van eck #me and all my homies hate jan van eck #my annotations got really aggressive anytime jan showed up cause i just had to make my hate for him known #jan van eck (derogatory)#wylan van eck #six of crows #six of crows fandom

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janeelyakiri · 5 months

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