Apologies to the several hundred people who filled out the survey expecting to hear something about the results of said survey. I really do want to start analyzing and posting about the results, and I fully intend for that to happen, it's just taking a lot longer than expected due to mental health and executive dysfunction reasons. Sorry for the wait but I promise the graphs are gonna look soooo cool when I finally post them it will be 100% worth it

What's your favorite idea? Mine is being creative. How do you get the idea? I just try to think creatively. Now when you look at this orange, tell me please, what do you see? It's just a boring old orange. Maybe to you, but not to me. I see a silly face! Wow! Walking along and smiling at me. I don't see what you mean. Cause you're not thinking creatively! So take a look at my hair! Cool! I use my hair to express myself. That sounds really boring. I use my hair to express myself. Now, when you stare at the clouds in the sky, don't you find it exciting? No. Come on, take another look. Oh, wait! I can see a hat! I can see a cat! I can see a man with a baseball bat! I can see a dog! I can see a frog! I can see a ladder, leaning on a log! Think you're getting the hang of it now, using your minds to have a good time. I might paint a picture of a clown. Whoa there friend, you might need to slow down. Here's another good tip. Yeah? Of how to be a creative wiz kid. Go and collect some leaves and sticks and arrange them into your favorite color. Blue. Red! Green! Green is not a creative color. Oh... There's one more thing that you need to know, before you let your creativity flow. Listen to your heart, listen to the rain, listen to the voices in your brain. Come on guys, let's get creative! Now let's all agree to never be creative again.

Come on guys, stop mucking around. We only have five minutes until our show's on. That's not enough time. There's always time for a song. What? Who is that? Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your wrist. The past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist. Oh... What's the time? It's quarter to nine! Time to have a bath. What do you mean? We're already clean. Scrub scrub scrub, 'til the water's brown. Time is a ruler to measure the day. It doesn't go backwards, only one way. Watch it go round like a merry-go-round. Going so fast like a merry-go-round. Let's go on a journey, a journey through all time. The time that's changing all the time, it's time to go to time! But we don't really want to, we're going to miss our show. Don't be stupid, friends! Come on, it's time to go! Time is old, like Victorian times. Like cobbles, and playing, and speaking in rhymes. With cobbles, and chimneys, a simpler times. With cobbles, and sawdust, and batteries, and slime! This tree that is old has circles inside. This tree that is older has shriveled and died. The apple that's fresh is ripe to the core! And I rot over time and I'm not anymore. Time can be told by the moon or the sun, but time flies fast when you're having fun. There's a time and a place for mucking around! Like birthdays! And camping. I'm friends with my dad! And then what happened after the olden days? Time went new and got old like history. Stuff from the past went into a mystery. An old man died. But look, a computer. Everything's cool, it's the future! Time is now, the future anew! And look at all the wonderful things you can do! With gadgets and gizmos, and email addresses! My dad is a computer! Look at the time! It's quarter to eight, there's fish on my plate! It's twenty past day, there's fish on my tray! It's eleven to twelve, there's fish in the bath! It's nine thirty, there's fish everywhere. Fish everywhere. Now you can see the importance of time. It helps us make pizza, it keeps things in line. But when did it start? And when will it stop? Time is important, and I am a clock. If we run out of time, where does it go? Is time even real, does anyone know? Maybe time's just a construct of human perception, an illusion created by- meh meh meh meh MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH- Sunrise, sunset, night and day. The changing seasons, the smell of hay. Look at your hair grow, isn't it strange how time makes your appearance change? Ugh! Make it stop! It's out of my hands, I'm only a clock. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine. But eventually, everyone runs out of time.

Isn't it nice to finally be outside on such a beautiful day? Yes, and I've packed us a delicious chicken picnic. Huh? Heh, hehehe! Ugh! Pesky bee! Hmm, he seems upset about something. I wonder what will happen. It makes you sad, doesn't it? That there's so much hatred in the world. I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question. A little baby pigeon! Have you ever wondered why we're here? What's it all about, you've no idea. And everywhere you look, all you see is hatred, and darkness, death, and fear. But, you know, it doesn't have to be that I hate you, and you hate me. Cause even though we're different, it doesn't make a difference, and we can live in harmony. I know you don't know who I am, but maybe I could hold your hand, and together we could understand about love. Huh? I feel tingly! Yes, that's love, my friend! And it's time for you to learn all about it. Hehehehe! Love is a place, love is a thing, love is a place, love is a thing, love is a place, love is a thing, love is a place, love is a thing. And do you ever feel like life's unfair? Cause everybody hates you, and no one cares! But if you follow me, maybe you will see that love is everywhere! But what is love? Is it in the sky? No, it's a feeling, deep inside! Because I'm hungry. No, you're lonely! I can see it in your eyes. I don't understand. Don't worry, you will soon! Come and meet some of my friends they know all about love! Come on, just over the rainbow! Oh look, there he goes, flying through the sky! Maybe we should follow him, or we'll get left behind. Yes, but there's lots of chicken left, and I'd like to eat the chicken. I'd also like to eat the chicken, let's do that instead. So here we are with all my friends, and they love you, all of them! Yes we do! It is true! We love you! And you love us too! Heh, I love you too, furry boy! Hehe, harder. Now we've eaten the chicken, I don't know what to do. Maybe we should look for our friend, isn't that what friends do? And we have finished the chicken picnic. To love each other is to care, to be kind. And to share! I love my friends so I get my hug! I made this for you, cause I love you so much. I love my pet, cause he's a crab. I love this tree, and I love this stick, and I love this mud. No no, that's not how it's done, you must save your love for your Special One. My Special One? Everyone has a Special One. Even me? But I am lonely. Yes, it's true! But do not worry. You're confused, but that's okay. Let me put it another way... This is the story of Michael, the loneliest boy in town. This is the story of Michael, the ugliest boy in town. Ugly and weak, they called him a freak, so he lived on his own underground. He lived on his own underground. He lived on his own underground. You see? Everyone has a Special One! Even Michael! Your heart beats hard like a big love drum, calling for your Special One. So be patient, cause just maybe, your Special One will come! He's made for her, and she's made for him. That's the way it's always been. And it's perfect, and it's pure. And it's protected with a ring. That's the way that all love goes. And like a flower, it grows and grows! And it's forever, and forever! And now we all worship our king, our king, our king, our king. His name is Malcolm. He is the king of love. We must feed him. We must feed him gravel. Or he becomes angry. Mmm, gravel. And this is your chance to start anew, and all we're asking you to do is change your name, clean your brain, and forget about anything you ever knew. And your heart will find its home. And our love will never go! Now wear this ring, and join the king! And you will never be alone. Aah! Oh, there you are. We've been looking for you all afternoon. We're sorry we upset you. But look, we've brought you the last boiled egg to cheer you up! For me? Father! Ugh! Pesky bee!

Oh, I guess it's my turn to choose a card. Let's see. Hmm! What is the biggest thing in the world? Hmm, that's a tricky one. A mountains? A sky. A windmill! No. If only there was a way to learn more about the world. Yes, if only there was some way to learn more information about this. Wow, look! I'm a computer. I'm a computery guy. Everything made out of buttons and wires. I'd like to show you inside my digital life. Inside my mind there is a digital mind. Oh, maybe you could help us answer this question. What is the bigg- Clever. I'm very clevery guy. Count to a fifty in the blink of my eye. And print a picture. And then I'll tell you the time. Time? Help you to find something you're wanting to find. Know it's easy to be a clever, smart boy like me if you just do it all digitally. Wow. I'd like to be as smart as a computer. Actually, we already have a computer. Great! Great news! Now, before we begin our journey, I just need to get some information from you. What's your name? Where do you live? What do you like to eat? I live in my house. Spaghetti! Well, my name is Dr- Great news! Now, just a few more questions, and we'll be on our way! Wait a second. What's your favorite color? Stop talking. Do you like cow's or goat's milk? Be quiet. Do you have brown hair? What is your blood type? Are you allergic to- Shut up! Don't touch me! What? Welcome to my digital home! Everything made out of numbers and code. Huh? Wow, we're all computery! Oh yeah, wow- wow- wow, this is a computer. I don't get it. How can it be? If I'm sitting at home, but I'm inside the screen? But you're not you. You're your digital you! Virtually real, but controlled by real you. But if he's not quite real, then I'm not real too! And you not real you, he's inside your real you. Oh wow, how amazing, and interesting too, but in this digital world, what can we do? What can we- Hey, good question! Well, it's up to you! In the digital world, there's over three things to do. Wow, look, a pie chart. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Wow, look, a bar graph. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Wow, look a line graph. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Wow, look, an oblong. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Wow, look, nothing. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Nothing. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Nothing. Digital style! Do a digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! Digital dancing! Hey, this is fun! I am a stupid one. I am going to paint a picture of a clown. My dad has a computer. You are not invited to the party. Wait, wha-

Hmm. Something's different. Hmm. Something's... Missing. Hmm. Is it this guy? Fish and chips. Steak and beef, chuckitachow. Grapes and eggs. Steak. Eggs. Are you hungry? You look to be a bit hungry. No. Doo doo doo doo, lots of people get hungry. That's your body. Hungry comes from your body. Get off me. But your body, it musta have to be healthy. What's that? A tasty snack. You don't wanna go and eat a snack like that. Greedy to eat all that. You'll end up with your teeth all grey. Doo doo, da doo doo. Doo doo, da doo doo, do it healthy. Haha. Food is talking. Let's get healthy now! Hello? You need to know. What's right from wrong. You see, the body is like a special house, with blood, hair, and organs in the different rooms. Oh look, there's Mr Bladder in the basement! Hahaha! What? Now, food comes in through the chimney, mouth, and goes from room to room greeting the different organs. Hello! Now, the good, healthy food is very nice and polite to the organs, and so is invited to stay for a party! Yay! But the bad, not healthy foods are very rude and must leave through the catflap. Rude! That doesn't make sense. Doo doo, da doo doo! A doo doo, da doo doo, do be healthy! Hello? What's that? A tasty snack. You don't wanna go and eat a snack like that. Greedy to eat all that. You'll end up with your gums all grey. Yeah, but... Something's... Wrong. Exactly! How do we know which ones are the healthy foods to eat? Well, that's easy! The food groups can easily be sorted using the simple health shape. Choosing normal, plain looking foods, such as bread, cream, white sauce, and aspic keep the body ticking over just nicely. Isn't that right? Eh, I need to go. But wait! What's this? Fancy, show-offy foods like cooked meat, fruit salad, soil foods, and yolk. Ugh! These foods will clog up the body with unnecessary details. Oh no, look, it's all broken and on the floor! Everything tastes great! But maybe we should wait before we put in on the plate! Enough! Or it could be too late! I don't wanna do this anymore! For my snack, I choose a pizza slice! Bread and cheese, and tastes of nice! What's that? A pizza slice? But you're better off with plain white sauce. What's that? Plain white sauce? Plain white sauce makes your teeth go grey! Does it matter? Just throw it away! Why not try something else on your tray? Oh, what's that? A lovely pie? But you're gonna end up sad inside. Ugh, sad inside, you're gonna make me sick! I choose some ice cream beef! I've cream beef makes your teeth go grey. What's that? A kidney bean? Kidney bean makes your teeth go grey. But everyone has their teeth go grey, just eat yeast and it'll go away! But how much have you had today? Too much yeast makes your teeth go grey. How bout some onion paste? Looks like fun, have a taste. Ugh! That wasn't onion paste! You shouldn't eat food from a stranger's plate! A stranger's plate! A stranger's plate!

Goodnight, guys. I miss you. Ooh, somebody's sleepy! Huh? Hehe hehehe, but that's silly! No! How can you be sleepy if you don't know how to have dreams? No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know how to have dreams! No! No! Dreams are movies that live in your head! Stop! Every night when you sleep in your bed! And you can have a dream about riding a horse! No! Or you can have a dream about drowning in oil! No! No! No! No more songs! Aah! Oh, looks like someone's having a bad dream! A bad dream! Can you file these files please? Uh, yeah. Sure. But hey, um. Wouldn't it be funny if one of these files came alive? Yeah. I am a file and you put documents in me. And, and... A doo doo doo, a file. Funny, silly file. Doo doo doo. You know, it did like a song. No. That sounds really boring. But I was like yeah, that's not even the same bucket. Hahaha. I am the cool guy, I guess. Laid back and sad. Nowadays, I hurt my leg today. Huh? Well, that's rude. No clothes. What's your favorite idea? Mine is being creative. How do you get the idea? I just try to think creatively. When you look at this orange, tell me please, what do you see? It's just a boring old orange. Maybe to you, but not to me. I see a silly face. Boo. Walking along and smiling at me. Boo. I don't see what you mean. Cause you're not thinking creatively. I don't like it. It's really not good. Now take a look at my hair. Boo. I use my hair to express myself. It's not very good at all. Not good. Boo. Not good. Rubbish. Boo. Boo. Boo. Not good. Go away. Don't stop now, friend. Your voice is music to my face. Huh? Geh? Or you can have a dream about eating a treat. Or you can have a dream about buying a hat. Or you can have a dream about losing your friends. No... Or you can have a dream about burning your friends. Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your wrist. Huh? The past is far behind us. You? The future doesn't exist. Time went new and got old like history, stuff from the past went into a mystery. You made me die! But look, a computer. I'm a computery guy. Aah! Everything made out of buttons and wires. I'd like to show you why we're here? What's it all about, you've no idea. And everywhere you look- Nooo!- all you see is hatred, and darkness, death, and ice cream beef? Ice cream beef makes your teeth go grey! Does it matter? Just throw it away! Why not try some fish on my tray! What? Where am I? We are in the universe, planets live inside the moon! A rocket ship can go to the moon! Sports ball! Let's play sports! Cricket ball! Red card! Magnet, and I'm friends with metal, I attract it! And it's my best friend! Let's dig a hole at the bottom of- Make it stop! Bee bop, ba doo bop, I teach you how to buy a canoe! I am a file and you put documents in me. Green is for go, but red is for not go. You can be crushed by a bus. Let's learn about gel! I know about gel! Stinky mouth! Music is your favorite thing. Uh... I wonder what will happen.

What's your favorite idea-

hey hidden. I hope this question isn't weird but your job is very cool to me, so I was wondering: what exactly did you need for education to get into it, and what's it like for you?

Are-  Are you-  Are you asking me to nerd out?

THE NERDING WILL COMMENCE BELOW THE CUT!

EDIT:  Trigger warning for discussion of cancer treatments/research.

SO I am a molecular biologist.  I am currently researching immunotherapies for a biotech company.  

One thing I should emphasize is that this stuff takes an enormous team working together for years.  I don’t want anyone to think that I’m, like...  Personally producing cancer medicines.  I’m part of a team of about 400 people, working together with 20 ish years of data produced by our company and the companies we partner with.  And my boss tells me what I’m going to work on!  I design the experiment, run the experiment, and consider the data from there, but I’m not the “mastermind” for anything.  It’s usually the upper level career scientists with pHDs doing that.

Another disclaimer is that, sadly, we as humans aren’t at the “defeat cancer forever” stage.  Like, it’s not... near.  The best defense continues to be frequent screening so it can be caught and treated early (which is bad news in the states, where people can’t afford the screening because we don’t have universal health care, or they can afford it but don’t go because they have three part time jobs, none of which give benefits-  But I digress).

Oh!  And one more thing I want to tell all future science dorks, something I was super lucky to learn at age 19: follow the money.

When I was 19, I was culturing and chemically processing algae, then assessing the data.  My company at the time wanted to create biodiesel from algae, and my whole world was rocked when they told me: WE ALREADY CAN MAKE VIABLE FUEL FROM ALGAE.  The problem is that it costs about $4.50 per gallon, so it can’t compete with normal diesel (at the time, this was like 12 years ago).  

So what they wanted was algae that had the correct chemical profile for use in biodiesel, that could also be grown at tropical temperatures.  Why?  Because the algae was to be grown in sugar cane processing centers, where it’s tropical, and most of the production costs came from cooling the incubators and instruments that would grow the algae.  So they needed algae that could make diesel, but also grow in hot weather, which apparently isn’t common.

ALWAYS FOLLOW THE MONEY!  It’s often not even about “can we do it,” but “can we do it at x cost, considering conditions hundreds of miles away.”  Crazy!

Ah, but you asked how to get into biotech!  It’s not that hard, thankfully!  I have a BS in biology.  I made sure to get good grades and all of that, and if you’re serious about biotech, you want to take classes in things like immunology, virology, any science class that can return to human health and biotech.  I will say that, while I’ve always naturally excelled at biology, I had to take more chemistry than bio!  Plus, you need math and physics...  

But here’s my best advice for biotech-interested young people:

-If you’re looking at universities while in high school, PLEASE check out what AP classes will get you out of undergrad labs.  The WORST PART about being a science kid is the labs.  For example, every bio and chem class has a lab.  The class itself usually consists of three 50 minute lectures (150 min/week), and you get 3 credits.  The lab is 170 min per week, and you only get 1 credit.  If you don’t place out of some classes with labs attached with AP credit, YOUR ASS WILL BE SITTING IN LABS FOR AT LEAST 340 MINUTES A WEEK!  AND YOU ONLY GET 2 CREDITS FOR THAT!!!!  It’s utter bullshit.

So, if you’re in high school and really serious about pursuing a science degree, check out which AP scores get you out of labs at your favorite universities, and really commit to getting 5s in those.

I was able to place out of 3 labs this way, and it played an enormous role in maintaining my sanity.

-Everyone in biotech knows EVERYONE in biotech.  It’s absolutely astounding.  But it’s a small field, centered around a few hot spots, and lots of these people have been at it for 40+ years.

Here are some of the hot spots in America (you might have to live in one of these areas to find biotech jobs, so be sure you’re down for that).

Anyway, like I said, I worked as an undergrad at a biotech.  I was so fortunate, because they paid me, I was already doing actual-factual research, and I got to know people.  And when I graduated, people went, “Oh you worked for Bob?  Let me give him a call.”  And then they did.  And then Bob said, “Oh yeah, she’s a hard worker, hire her.”

SO you need to make connections ASAP, and strive to show people your hard-working, curious, problem-solving, good-attitude-having self.  Sadly, there’s an element of luck there, for sure.  But you need to be ready to try to work in professional labs in college, which means juggling your difficult courses and school labs with work.  Hooray!

...Did I say this wasn’t hard?  I’m full of shit, aren’t I.  Looking back, all I can see is how lucky I was, and how I “only” needed a 4 year degree, but...  It really takes a lot to get here.

As for what it’s like...

I love it, it’s great, but like any job, it...  Well, it’s rough.

Here’s what I think you need to thrive in biotech, assuming you’re not put off by the stuff I’ve already covered:

-Organization, time management, and focus.  Honestly, being a lab researcher isn’t about being smart, it’s about juggling a lot of things simultaneously.  Lots of folks describe the job as “hurry up and wait,” because you rush to mix the experimental ingredients together so they can incubate for two hours before you do the next step.  And while that’s incubating, you do x, which has a few 15 minute incubations.  In those 15 minutes, you generate graphs with yesterday’s data, make records for you lab notebook, order items for next week’s experiment, print labels, or...  Any number of things.  There are ALWAYS tons of balls in the air, so organization and time management are 90% of the job.

And you need to focus, because most of the time it looks like you’re adding a single droplet of water to other droplets of water.  Almost everything you work with is a clear liquid, so you can’t go spacing out and forgetting what you’ve already added to the mix.

A typical day is to arrive at work, sit down for a while to plan out how to best use the incubation times to do other things, head into the lab, hope for incubation periods for toilet/water/food breaks, and scramble to get data processing in there somewhere.  Deadlines are usually tight, because it’s always a race to patent a medicine before one of the other 5,000 companies trying to do it can.  We all work from the shared published scientific knowledge, so there’s no...  Developing something in secret.

I’d say my job is challenging, but rewarding, especially as we come closer to generating medicines for what we call “patients with unmet needs.”  Remember how I said “follow the money?”  Sadly, often, um...  Okay I’m gonna do a really quick and loose explanation.  People have different versions of the same genes, right?  And sometimes, there are “cancer” genes- this is a really sloppy explanation, sorry.  So medicines get created for the most common mutated cancer gene first.  So say 70% of cancer patients have this mutated gene, 20% have that mutated gene, and 10% have a third mutated gene.  Guess who gets medicine made for them first?

If you guessed the largest group, you’re right!  The trouble is that big companies will then move on to the largest group for another cancer/gene group, leaving people with more rare genetic issues without treatment options beyond chemo, which many elderly or immunocompromised patients simply can’t tolerate.

My company specifically aims to help these people with no help in sight.  On the one hand, follow the money- we are doing it because we will have a market, and we can’t compete with big companies yet.  On the other, we are helping people who have no options.  I’m so grateful to use my gifts (organization, planning, focus, problem solving, and natural curiosity) to play a small, small role in hopefully helping people.  It means something to me.

On the other hand, it can be a grind, no lie.  And any high-pressure job will have colleagues who are also under pressure, and might lash out or try to throw other people under the bus when problems arise.  A certain level of emotional maturity and strength is required, and frankly, I needed therapy to get there.

Also, if you’re a female-presenting human, some people will give you shit in biotech.  Luckily, I’ve only ever had one coworker be blatantly sexist and ask me (multiple times) if I was sure I belonged here.  Unfortunately, you’re more likely to see more discrete sexism, like folks asking you to organize parties for pregnant or engaged coworkers because “you seem like you’d be good at it,” ie “you’re female and I am throwing social tasks at you so I can focus on my science, which you also have to do.”  I’ve had a lot of coworkers try so hard to corner me into doing emotional work for them.  But...  Honestly, most of this is just existing as a woman, and isn’t specific to biotech.

So yeah!  You’re gonna have to work hard, but if you have an interest in science, great organization skills, and want to play a little role in helping people who are suffering in a way that doesn’t involve direct social interaction with the hurting people...  It’s great!

Sorry for the absolute wall of text, I hope this helps!  I’m always happy to talk about this, so please ask away if you’d like.  Thanks for the ask!

Balance

December 23, 2009

Draco was dreaming. He was walking with Voileami in a frost covered graveyard. It was peaceful in the softly lit liminal space of the dream. Icicles formed on colossal rib cages and hefty femurs that scattered the clearing, jutted out from the frozen packed earth. Dragons, Draco’s mind supplied. It was a dragon graveyard. He was approaching a particularly large ilium, it’s curved shape sloping out of the snowy ground. He reached his hand out to brush his fingers along the smooth surface—

tap tap tap

The dream blurred and faded out, the cold feel of the smooth bone dancing on his fingertips. He heard Harry swear from what felt like a great distance, and felt a whoosh of cold air under his warm duvet, thoroughly pulling him from the grasp of the dream, the yard of bones morphing into the dark cottage that surrounded him.

tap tap tap

“Whas’ wrong?” Draco slurred, half asleep, sitting up as a mostly naked Harry stumbled in the dark towards the kitchen window where an owl pecked persistently on the glass. It was dark out, still, and while Draco had no idea what time it was, the fire in the grate had died out completely. His sleep muddled brain reasoned it was well past 1am.

tap tap tap

Harry looked like a grizzled mountain man standing in the kitchen in his pants, unshaven, with his bed head like a lion’s mane haloed around his head.

“Harry?” Draco asked, curling the duvet around him tightly, protecting himself from the chill in the air.

Harry was squinting without his glasses at the letter he retrieved from the owl. A bluebell flame in his palm doing little to illuminate the words.

His eyes were suddenly wide, scanning the parchment, shock apparent on his face.

“Draco— we— get up— we gotta go— Luna!“ He stammered, dashing back towards the bed. He flung the parchment at Draco and began pulling clothes from the chest of drawers and yanking them on. Draco took the parchment with interest, reading Greg’s familiar script.

Draco and Harry,

Just wanted to let you know Luna started having contractions around dinner time. Things started picking up after midnight. The midwives are on their way, but there’s no rush. It could still be ages, it is her first, after all . Come whenever you’re ready. I’m in way over my head.

—Greg

Draco smiled, while Harry continued racing around the cottage in a state of complete overexcitement.

“Harry—”

“Draco, get dressed! Merlin how are you still in bed?!”

“Harry— dear lord—“ Draco muttered, getting up from bed, still wrapped in his duvet. He reached for Harry who was brushing his teeth while trying to put his jacket on, getting toothpaste all down his front. “Harry she’s just in labour, calm down. Put the kettle on— for Salizar’s sake, you’re covered in toothpaste.”

“Put the— what?! What if we miss it?! We have to go!” He tried shouting around his toothbrush. Little Dipper squawked indignantly from his perch.

Draco chuckled and went to put on the kettle himself, his large duvet swishing behind him. “It’s her first, its twins. It’ll be hours yet. The midwives are just getting there now, let’s give them time to get settled, and then we’ll go. No need to race out the door— come have some tea.”

Harry looked scandalized, gawking at Draco as though he had completely lost his marbles. “Are you joking?!” He asked around his toothbrush. Draco just hummed as he set out their tea cups. Harry stood staring at Draco for a moment before seeming to realize that Draco was not in fact joking. He stomped off back to the bathroom and finished brushing his teeth.

When he came back he looked pensive and distracted, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re sure we won’t miss it?” He asked, sounding wary.

The kettle had started whistling and Draco was back by the bed, changing into something warmer than his nightshirt and pants. “There are no guarantees in life or birth.” He intoned absently, the phrase coming to him easily. It was a mantra that had been repeated to him during his training days in school, something the midwives and birth attendants always said in response to unanswerable questions and unknowable futures.

Harry just cocked his head, looking completely nonplussed. Draco walked back to the kitchen, bathed in candle light, and poured the boiling water into their cups.

“I mean that we probably won’t miss it for the reasons I stated, but that there are no guarantees, obviously.”

“Shouldn’t we hurry then?” Harry asked, clearly agitated but trying to keep his cool in the face of Draco’s unusual ease.

Draco shrugged. “It won’t hurt to have tea and be calm when we get there. Luna and Greg don’t need us showing up in a whirlwind and fretting. They shouldn’t have to worry about us. They need to focus on having their children.”

Harry quietly came to sit at their small table. “I suppose that makes sense.” He said, his shoulders finally relaxing. “When Hermione had Rose, Ron sent me about a dozen owls, panicking all the while. I wasn’t any better off.”

Draco smiled, handing Harry his tea. “Birth is unpredictable by nature. And, often times that feels scary. You can try to predict it, plot it, graph it, say it should take X amount of time, or follow a certain pattern, but in the end it does its own thing. You can only sit calmly on your hands and wait until you’re needed.”

Harry sipped his tea. “Did you ever want to do deliveries? Reproductive healthcare, I mean?”

“Oh good lord, no.” Draco said, scandalized. “It’s entirely too stressful for me. Schedules go right out the window, you can’t plan a damn thing, and when its low risk, I’m entirely superfluous, the midwives are much more qualified. And when its not low risk, I’d rather not be involved, thanks. Blood curses are all the excitement I need.”

“You just seem to be really comfortable with this when you’re usually the most high-strung person I know.” Harry speculated with a small grin.

Draco snorted and looked down into his tea, remembering back to his training days. Remembering the feeling of being a scant 20 years old, screaming on the inside, feeling wholly overwhelmed and questioning his life decisions, as a laboring woman in the high risk clinic squatted on her bed before him, braced on a support bar and moaned through the contractions that were engulfing her.

The hilarity that he was expected to be mature and wise enough to help bring life into the world threatened to send him straight to the Janus Thickey ward. How the old midwives, seeing his large, shocked eyes, guided him by the elbow to where he was meant to be and taught him to sit quietly. Taught him to lean into the discomfort of the unknown, to be patient, to hold vigil when there was nothing to be done but wait. He remembered the feeling of utter inadequacy as he watched this mother give birth with the guidance of her midwives, as he did what he was told.

How, at the end of it all when the mother turned to him and thank him for his help, he had to refrain from shouting back that he had been a useless wreck and nearly a detriment to the process with his fear. Instead he had smiled politely and congratulated the mother on a job well done. And, when he left the room, if he broke down crying in the bathroom, no one needed to know, did they?

While he never wanted to attend births again after that rotation, as the emotional strain was almost crippling, he took those lessons with him, remembered them, practiced them. Leaned into discomfort when it arose. Sat it with. Became its friend.

“I loved the granny midwives and birth attendants during my training, they taught me a lot.” He said after a moment. “And, like I told you, home births are a bit of a pureblood tradition. It feels very— ordinary.”

Chapter 23 Balance of Misunderstood Creatures is up! This is functionally the last chapter of the whole saga, the epilogue is to follow. Come tell us what you think! @thestralhouseofblack

Chapter 8: Days of Future Past

A/N: Here is the next chapter! It is all in the past just to make it clear. As always, messages and feedback are very appreciated and welcomed!

There comes a time in life where you find yourself at a fork in the road, two paths. One continuing on the road you have always been and one that is undiscovered. The choice is up to you. It always has been, because you have the power to change your situation by changing yourself, changing the path that you are on.

Our life is made up by a series of choices. Sometimes we make ourselves walk down the path of mistakes, but that is how we learn, that is how we grow. We can always change course, as our future is not written by the mistakes of our past. At any given moment, you have the power to say this is not how your story is going to end. Write each chapter, write your unwritten story and do not let anyone else hold the pen. You are what determines your future, no one else.

So now I look back over my shoulder as I walk down this path. Flipping through the pages of my life that I have written and found where I took control of the pen and changed what it meant to be a spare.

I did not choose to go on the two paths laid out before me by my birthright.

I created one.

These are the events that led up to it.

May 6th 1989

6:45pm

“Just a few more pushes and the first twin will be out.” The obstetrician, Doctor Halloran, encouraged the Crown Princess that the end of her labour was near and it was time to meet the new heirs to the Illyrian throne.

Squeezing her husband Frederick’s hand, Elizabeth was thrilled to meet her twin babies that the Crown Prince couple had been waiting for over nine months to meet. They had kept the babies gender’s a surprise, even from themselves.

“Ready to meet them?” Elizabeth exhaustedly muttered as Frederick wiped her forehead with a cool damp cloth.

“I have been for nine months love!” Frederick voiced proudly, not containing his excitement in the least.

“Arrgghh.” Elizabeth moaned as another contraction flooded through her.

“Ok push Elizabeth, baby wants out.” The obstetrician gave her clear direction. “A little more, little more!”

“Good! I can see baby’s head. With the next contraction I need small pushes.” Doctor Halloran instructed.

Elizabeth nodded as she silently prayed for her babies to be ok. Glancing around the room she noticed the many people on standby on the chance they were not. The Crown Princess had a healthy pregnancy with no risk factors other than the potential complications of multiples.

Frederick noticed the worry that was storming in his wife’s eyes. “Don’t be scared love. They can’t wait to meet you.” Frederick’s calming voice relaxed her.

“Here we go, little pushes now Elizabeth.”

6:48pm

Elizabeth delivered a baby boy, the third heir to the throne as it filled the room with it’s cries.

“It’s a boy!” The obstetrician hollered in excitement as the room erupted into congratulatory cheers. Her son started wailing as he entered into the world, screaming as loud as his lungs could, as the sound brought tears of joy to both parents. Elizabeth lifted her head to see her son’s face red as ever as he cried and cried before he was handed off to the Neonatal Intensive Care team to be examined.

Frederick left Elizabeth’s side for a quick moment to welcome his son into the world. “How is he doctor?” Frederick reached out and gave his son a finger to wrap his tiny fingers around.

“He’s healthy your highness.”

Frederick stared down at his son proudly. Hearing a commotion from behind him, he saw the look of concern grow on Elizabeth’s face. Something was wrong.

“What’s going on?” Frederick rushed back to her side staring directly into the obstetrician’s worried eyes.

“Twin B’s heart rate is too low and baby is in distress, your highness.” The obstetrician took control of the situation. “Elizabeth look at me.” She commanded, “Your baby needs you right now and do exactly as I say ok. Can you do that for me?” Baby is in breech position, her feet is coming first, but I am confident I can get her out safely.” Doctor Halloran was one of the best obstetricians in the country and was highly trusted and respected by her peers and patients.

Frederick grabbed Elizabeth’s hand offering any support he could give his wife. He saw the NICU team preparing for the worst, making his heart fall from his chest. Please be ok baby, you have to fight little one, he silently wished.

“Baby’s breech!” Doctor Halloran called out, letting the team aware of the potential complications. “Ok push now Elizabeth, I need a big one! Good, now hold it! Keep going! That’s it!”

“Heart rate is still low doctor.” The labour and delivery nurse was monitoring the graph and heart rate on the other side of Elizabeth.

“Elizabeth, baby needs to come out with this last push ok? I need everything you got!” Elizabeth nodded and did the best she could, following everything the doctor was telling her.

6:52pm

“Out!” Halloran called out, as the loudest deafening silence filled the room when their child did not cry out like their son.

“Why isn’t she crying?” Elizabeth was the first to voice the concern knowing something was not ok. “Frederick?!” His wife screamed his name in worry. The doctor rushed over and handed their baby to the neonatal team that started working on the baby.

“Frederick go make sure it’s ok!” Elizabeth dropped his hand making the prince hastily walk over to the swarm of people surrounding his child.

“What’s happening?” Frederick saw them giving the baby some breaths to stimulate her breathing, as the baby remained silent lying there blue in color.

“Your highness, she needs a little bit more help than her brother. We are giving her some extra breaths to help her breathe and transition from her delivery. Her heart rate is coming up nicely, we are trying to make her cry, but she is a stubborn one sir.”

“She? As in a girl?” Frederick clarified with the doctor as they had not found out the gender through all the commotion.

“Yes, you have a son and a daughter sir. Congratulations!”

“It’s a girl?!” Elizabeth hollered out from the bed.

“Yes love. A boy and a girl!” Frederick shared a loving look with his wife as he tried to hold back tears before being interrupted by a loud wail coming from his daughter. Frederick glanced back down at his daughter as she stubbornly tried not to cry, even pushing away the doctors hand as he continued to examine her.

“You are going to have your hands full with this one, your highness. She is already stubborn at birth.” The room erupted into a sigh of relieved laughter that both of their babies were born and now healthy.

“Can I hold her?” Frederick asked as his daughter turned his head towards the sound of his voice looking straight into his eyes. The little princess was calmly lying there holding onto his finger with a death grip.

“Why don’t you hold the heir first?” The neonatologist suggested not thinking twice of what he had spoken would upset the Crown Prince.

Frederick glanced up with narrowed eyes at the doctor. “She is my heir as well.” It had already started the moment that they were born an heir and a spare; two words that would define his children’s whole life. His daughter had already fought to come into this world and now every day forward, she would have to simply because she was the ‘spare’.

His hard features softened as he found her staring back up at him. The nurse wrapped her up in a pink blanket and handed his daughter to him. “She will make a fine princess, your highness. Congratulations.”

“Yes, yes she will.” His heart melted as he held the raven dark haired little baby in his arms staring down adoringly at her as the world fell silent around them.

“You gave us quite the scare little one. It’s ok, daddy’s here now.” He leant down and pressed his lips on her tiny forehead as her eyes fluttered shut drifting to sleep. “I won’t let anyone think of you that way again. You are my heir Emilia, just as much as your brother.” He whispered quietly, but her name floated towards her mother.

“Emilia huh?” Elizabeth wanted this moment to last forever, the first time they met their children. Looking down at her son while she held him close, all now seemed perfect in the world. Frederick had walked over and sat down on the chair beside Elizabeth’s bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping princess.

“What do you think we should name them love?” Frederick reached out and held his son’s little hand.

“Well she definitely looks like an Emilia to me daddy.” Frederick’s eyes lit up at the word. “Emilia Eleanora? After your mother?” Elizabeth questioned as she admired her quietly sleeping daughter. From that very moment, Elizabeth knew that her daughter was destined to be a daddy’s girl.

“And yours as well?” He locked eyes with his wife as they shared a look knowing that they had picked the perfect name for their daughter. A combination of the two women they adored the most in their life, names fit for a princess of Illyria.

“Princess Emilia Eleanora Helenne.” Frederick smiled proudly down at the young princess in his arms.

May 8th 1989

Two days later…

“Frederick?” Elizabeth walked towards her husband standing over their daughters crib. “What’s keeping you up?” She stepped beside him glancing down at her peacefully sleeping daughter.

“Nothing love. You need your rest, please go back to sleep.” Frederick would not take his eyes off of Emilia.

“Not until you tell me what’s on your mind Freddie.” Elizabeth crossed her arms stubbornly. She was bound and determined to get to the bottom of why her husband was wide-awake at 02:00 am.

Frederick sighed heavily, slanting his head to see his wife eyeing him. “I don’t want her to be known as a spare Elizabeth. You know how that simple word pushed George and I apart.” He shook his head while scratching at the light scruff on his chin. “They are both my heirs, both have equal rights, but because of three minutes and six seconds… Emilia will always be referred to as the spare and treated like one.”

“But love, she won’t have the same duty as her brother.” Elizabeth tried to console her husband.

“No.” Frederick shook his head at her words. “She will, and her life will still be controlled and for that sacrifice she gets a life not of her own. Emilia will be blamed for everything, every mistake that Edward makes until they are adults will be her fault no matter her innocence. It is the way the crown ensures that the heir has good standing with the public.”

“Emilia is just a baby honey. She knows nothing of this so why worry now about it?” Elizabeth soothing rubbed his back slowly.

“It’s already started Lizzie. You saw the way mother only wanted Edward today.” He turned his attention back towards Emilia as she startled herself.

“I am going to do everything I can to make it equal. I want them to be friends, not a piece of the chess game pitted against one another.” Frederick vowed.

“We won’t Frederick. We won’t let that happen to them.”

August 11th 1995

“I GET TO GO FIRST EMILIA!” Edward barged in pushing his sister out of the way.

“YOU ALWAYS ARE FIRST EDWARD!” Emilia stomped her foot with a pouty lip. Edward heard footsteps around the corner and purposefully threw himself on the ground with a loud smack, crying out in pain.

“Emilia!” Her father’s stern voice yelled her name. Turning around slowly she peaked up at her father towering over her. “You cannot push your brother like that.”

“But I didn’t daddy! He threw himself on the ground to make it look like I did so I would be in trouble!” Emilia was shocked that her father believed Edward as he watched him stand up Edward.

“Emilia. If you do not apologize to Edward there will be no decorating cookies today and you will go to your room to think about what you did.” Frederick crouched down on his knees placing his hand on Emilia’s shoulder as she hung her head low to the ground.

“But daddy, I didn’t do it….” Emilia lifted her pleading eyes towards her brother hoping that he would confess, but it did not work.”

“Go to your room Emilia.” Frederick stood and pointed towards it. “I said now Emilia! I will be in to talk with you in a while once you have learned your lesson.”

Emilia looked up at her father as a stray tear trickled down her cheeks, the sight nearly breaking his heart. It took all of him to discipline his daughter when the need arose. She ran off crying to her room and slammed it shut. Hearing the door slam nearly tore his heart in two.

“I am fine now daddy. Can I help decorate some cookies with you?” Edward tugged at his father’s pants forcing his attention back down to his son.

“Yes son, go grab the stool.” Frederick smiled down at Edward, but his mind was elsewhere wondering about Emilia. He had the twins for the day as his wife had a solo engagement with a patronage she recently started supporting. The twins were now six years old and loved to help bake and cook in the kitchen with their parents. Frederick wanted to surprise his wife with a batch of decorated cookies for her birthday, but now he felt guiltier than ever that it would only come from Edward.

“Emilia?” Frederick knocked lightly on her bedroom door a while later. “Can I come inside sweetheart?”

He did not get a reply, but chose to open her door just enough to peak through and found Emilia with her back towards him coloring at her craft table. “Emilia?” He spoke her name again, not wanting to frighten her.

She turned her head without a word and frowned at him. “You never said I couldn’t color. I only had to go in my room.” Emilia sassily told him so.

“I know. Can I come sit down with you?” He walked over towards the table and sat down in the tiny chair that was clearly to small for him. Observing his daughter coloring he noticed the tear stained cheeks still damp from her crying. “What are you drawing Millie?” He leaned in to see a picture of four people. What seemed to be two children and two adults, but the adults and one child were grouped together while the little girl was on the opposite side of the page with a horse.

“My family.” Emilia angled her head and stuck her tongue out in concentration while she decided what color to use next.

“Why aren’t they all together, like a family Emilia?” Frederick’s concern was growing at what the drawing may symbolize to his daughter.

“I am over here with Buttercup and you, mommy and Eddie are over here.” Emilia smiled proudly at her artwork. “Because no one believes me when Eddie lies and I always get sent to my room.” Her icy blue eyes lifted from her drawing to lock eyes with her father, those same deep blue eyes that hit the depths of his soul whenever she looked at him.

“Emilia… you cannot make things up.” Frederick shook his head with a softened expression as he explained to his daughter that she could not push his brother.

“I didn’t!” Emilia’s tears started to form. “Why do you and mommy never believe me?” Her tears stained her drawing mixing some of the colors together. Grabbing her picture she ripped it in and half and ran to her bed throwing herself on it and burying her head in a pillow to hide her tears.

Frederick stared down at the torn picture, Emilia one side and his wife, Edward and him on another. A profound sense of guilt coursed through him as he heard Emilia’s muffled sobs coming from her bed. Emilia was telling the truth, she never pushed Edward and he had punished her for it. She was never one to lie about things and he had often caught Edward up in a lie. How did he not see this earlier?

Shifting his weight on her bed he laid down beside his daughter soothingly rubbing her back. He had to make it up to Emilia somehow. “Emilia, I am sorry for not believing that you did not push your brother. I had to go off what I saw and I apologize for making you sit in your room alone.” Her head lifted and turned towards her father as Frederick brushed away stray pieces of her dark hair.

“Your mommy and I love you very much and so does Eddie.” He tried to reassure his daughter that he loved her no matter what.

Emilia sat up and crossed her legs. “Then why is Edward special and I am not?”

“Emilia, you are very special to me and to everyone in this world. Sometimes people will want to make you feel that you are not because you are younger than Edward, just by a couple of minutes, but that does not mean you are not special sweetheart.” Frederick enveloped his daughter in a tight hug even as she tried to get away from his grasp.

“Daddy! You are squishing me!” Emilia hollered as she tried to break free from the confines of her father’s arms.

“Not going to let go until you say that you are special Emilia! Come on!” Frederick tightened his grip as he released a laugh deep from his belly.

“Aaaghhh!” Emilia tried to push him off, but dissolved into a fit of giggles instead as her father started to tickle her sides.

“Say it Emilia!” Frederick loved hearing his daughter’s unbridled laughter as it brought joy to his ears and lifted his heart.

“I am special ok daddy!” Emilia squirmed under his tickles as she kicked out her feet to push him away.

“Louder!” Frederick laughed along side of her.

“I AM SPECIAL!” Emilia hollered out.

Frederick slowed his attack of tickles as he watched the tears of sadness be replaced with tears of joy on his daughter’s laughter filled face. He never wanted Emilia to feel this way, but yet he knew it would be a daily struggle for Emilia to find her place in this world. But, Frederick had promised his daughter from the moment that she was born that he would be there to protect Emilia and help her navigate through this life as a royal.

February 22nd 2007

“Hi gran, you wanted to see me?” Eighteen-year-old Princess Emilia was led into her grandmother’s office/

Queen Eleanora stood up from her chair and walked around her desk to welcome her granddaughter. The Queen pulled Emilia into a tight embrace with a light sway as she kissed her cheek. “I swear you keep growing and growing into a beautiful women each day Emilia.”

Emilia blushed at the compliment from her gran. “Thank you granny.” She stepped out of the hug and sat down in the chair to her left. “Lucius told me you wanted to talk to me about something important?”

“Ah yes my dear.” Eleanora sat down beside her granddaughter with pursed lips wondering how to ask her granddaughter to take the fall for her brother. The Queen could not look Emilia in the eyes as she spoke. “Can I ask you why you did not stop your brother from smoking marijuana at the party last night? You were with him correct?”

Emilia’s body tensed up at her words as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. The previous night, the twins were celebrating a mutual friend’s birthday party at a manor outside the city of Aldoria. Of course there were alcohol that both twins consumed, but Edward had decided he wanted to smoke a joint. The next morning news every where claimed that a source from the party said that the heir, Edward, had used a fair amount of marijuana, but of course no pictures could prove this. The story had spread like rapid fire and fell upon the Queen’s desk to make a quick decision on how to deal with the growing speculation that Edward was a wild child. Within a matter of hours since the release, the public was in uproar.

“I was there yes gran and I did see Edward use marijuana if that is what you are asking.” Emilia hesitantly spoke wondering why this was an issue she had to be apart of. “He is an adult now and can make his own decisions gran, I cannot control him.”

The Queen sighed heavily with a continual nod of her head as if she agreed with the young princess. “Emilia dear, you have been aware of what they are saying about your brother being the wild party boy prince?”

“It has nothing to do with me gran, so no, I have not.” Emilia crossed her arms feeling like she had to be on the defensive side. “Should you not be talking to Edward about all of this? Or father?” Emilia suggested, as she tried to get down to the real reason as to why she was here.

“I have spoken to Edward and your father…” Emilia looked directly at her grandmother realizing that she was unable to look Emilia in the eye. “There are no pictures that prove it was Edward…. and you Emilia have been labeled the wild party princess before. It would be natural for someone to suspect you and not Edward….”

Her mouth dropped to the floor in shock as the reason was revealed to her. They wanted to pin this on Emilia and so Edward could have a clean slate. “I beg your pardon grandmother, but I never once did any drugs at all. The papers only painted me as that and yes I was teen having fun, but I did not party as hard as Edward did.” She tried to defend the accusation against her.

“I am sorry Emilia, but you know this world is tricky and full of manipulation by the media. We, as a monarch, simply cannot afford to have Edward painted with a brush that will effect his whole life, especially since one day he will be king.” Eleanora sat up straighter barring the courage to look directly into her granddaughter’s eyes. “We need you to take the heat for this one Emilia. We will pay someone to leak a story that it was you, not Edward.”

“I won’t do it.” Emilia stood up in defiance. “I have been covering for Edward all of his life. I will not collude in this fake presentation of him any longer. The public needs to see who he really is and maybe he is the one you need to control and not me.”

“Sit down!” The Queen’s voice rose startling Emilia.

“This is what you were born to do Emilia.” Her grandmother leaned in closer. “This is what the spare’s duty is. To do the heir’s bidding and if that means taking the fall for Edward, you do it with grace and without question.” Eleanora’s jaw clenched tightly as she deliberately spoke each word.

Emilia closed her eyes, she could not look at her grandmother. Emilia never wanted this life she was born into, she never wanted all the material things it brought her, all she wanted was a life where she could make her own choices that were not scrutinized.

“You do what you have to grandmother, but I will deny it to till the day I die.” Emilia spat out her words holding her tongue as much as possible. Standing Emilia left the room slamming the door shut and leaving her grandmother to stew over her last words.

“Emilia?” Her brother’s voice called out as she began to walk away. Glancing back over her shoulder she found Edward leaning up against the wall as if he had been waiting for her.

“Don’t come near me Eddie!” Emilia warned putting up her hand as she turned to walk away.

“Emilia please, let me explain.” She heard Edward’s footsteps running to catch up with her. “It was not my idea….” He tried to defend himself.

“Then was it father’s?” Emilia turned around sharply stopping dead in her tracks as Emilia faced her brother.

“He has no knowledge that gran is going to do this.” He frowned in response. Emilia shook her head with confusion, but gran said that he spoke to him? She questioned internally.

“Gran said that she spoke to you and dad about it. That you both agreed it was in YOUR best interest to blame YOUR careless actions on ME!” Emilia pointed her finger at her chest.

“You have to understand Emilia, you won’t be queen one day…” Edward tried to explain himself with shrugged shoulders.

“That is a weak excuse brother and you know it. You royally fucked up this time and now you are tossing me to the wolves Eddie.” Emilia pleaded with him as she became silent. “You are my twin… I have never treated you with disrespect Edward. You are really going to let this mistake cause such a riff between us? You made a mistake Eddie, you are only human.”

Emilia and Edward were inseparable and best of friends. Their support for each other was unending, but lately Edward had been acting out under the pressure from his grandmother and father to act more like a future king. Edward knew that what was about to happen to his sister was unfair in all her rights, but he could not have this mistake hanging over him for the rest of his life. He decided to put their relationship below his own status.  

“I am sorry Emilia, I am not changing her mind.” Edward hung his head low in embarrassment of himself. Hearing Emilia’s disappointed sigh leave her, Edward wished he could take it all back.

“I need some space Edward. It’s best that you leave me alone for a long time…” Emilia turned on her heel but stopped and glanced over her shoulder at him. “Just remember you did this to me…”

Emilia took off to plead with her father to talk some sense into the Queen and to reconsider her options. Frederick was furious as he listened to what Emilia was saying. Storming off to his mother, he fought with her all evening long, begging and pleading not to do this to Emilia, to do the same thing she had done to his brother George.

He gave alternative after alternative that the Queen shut down. In the end, her word was final and there was nothing he could do to help Emilia. He was trapped between the duty of a father to protect Emilia and the duty of a Crown Prince to his Queen.

The next morning, a source leaked the information to a reporter that it was in fact Princess Emilia who was the one that had smoked the marijuana. Emilia locked herself in her room and cancelled her engagements for the next week, unable to bear the false scrutiny that the papers were writing about. She knew the truth of the matter, but the public did not and was shaming her for it.

That was the start of her rebellion, what people would call the fuel to the fire that caused a series of the young princess acting out. She started to not care what people thought of her and broke protocol on nearly every engagement. Emilia spoke up when she thought an issue, even a political one, needed a platform. She condemned certain acts of politicians that landed her in sea of hot water, but nothing the Queen or the royal family could do to stop Emilia. The princess supported unlikely charities and foundations that royals before hand would stay away from as it stepped too closely to political views.

She became a personable princess that the people of Illyria loved how natural and caring she displayed herself as and that threatened the Queen more than she liked. In the midst of people trying to paint a picture of the princess they wanted her to be, Emilia instead changed the canvas and made her own masterpiece changing along the way, what a spare was meant to be.

That was the path that she created.

Natter #4    7/4/2020

MI MG Natter #4  4th July 2020I hope you all have had a happy fourth - all fingers still attached and tummies filled. Pickle seems to be getting used to the bangs this year, or perhaps he is a little deaf. Usually, at the first bang, he disappears and hides under my bed. This time he has wandered upstairs and downstairs and doesn't seem to register the bangs much at all - which is good.

I am in contact with a guy back home who runs a regular allotment (PeaPatch here) blog, giving timely advice and other information related mostly to veggie & fruit culture. I find this very helpful as he jogs my memory on those extremely rare occasions when I forget. I know you think that I never forget, but I have to admit that there has been the occasional lapse ever since I stopped eating peanuts. Strange thing that. His words for July remind us that this month is the time to sow seeds for Fall and Winter veggie crops such as Chicory (does anybody actually grow this?), Chinese Cabbage, Kohl Rabi, Lettuce, French Beans, Beetroot, Carrots, Radish, Turnips, and Peas - pick early varieties - early Snow peas are an especially fast to crop

.If you have had the forethought to already start Leeks from seed, now is the time to plant out those starts. The easiest way to do this is to use an old broomstick handle and thrust it vertically into the soil to a depth of about 5-6".Just drop the seedlings carefully, roots first into the holes and then just water in - that's all you need to do. The water will wash soil from the sides of the holes down onto the roots and it will remain cool and moist enough to thoroughly root the seedlings well. The idea of doing it this way, apart from the ease of planting and gaining support from the sides, is that the hole blanches the stem of the leek as it grows to gain more usable parts of the plant. If they are kept reasonably moist they should grow quite rapidly through the Summer and be ready to make fabulous potato-leek soup in time to keep cold days at bay. If you have never eaten P-L soup accompanied by chunks of Crusty artisan bread generously spread with butter - you haven't lived. Food of the Gods this! If you have been growing spuds and have lifted them already, you can follow with a crop of French beans to both nourish yourself and the soil, or if beans aren't your thing try a green manure crop such as Mustard. However, bear in mind that if you have ever had Club Root on your cabbage family plants, do not use Mustard as it is also a brassica. Use one of the Pea family, both for the Nitrogen root boost, but also for the foliage. And now for something completely different:- Once more my friend Valerie Robertson has presented her view on things English on the other side of the pond and is sent all over the world.

Val is a very  highly qualified State Registered Nurse who knows whereof she speaks.

Here we go.

From: Valerie Robertson GAG 14 Hope all is well with all. All Quiet in the Western Front over this way. Seattle’s CHOP was liberated leaving an appalling mess The pubs are open  today so the protesters have disappeared. BLMUK. is proving to be an embarrassment to those who donated, bent the knee and supported a cause that advocates the abolition of the nuclear family (that means dad is superfluous), defund the police,  destroy capitalism and support censorship plus the necessity for every white person to acknowledge that they are all subconsciously racist and privileged, and own up to the “fact” that every institution is inherently racist and disproportionally  White supremacy managed. That’s a big ask, which has bewildered the millionaire black footballers, academics & artists,   Labour leader Sir Keith what’s his name, (why would a Labour leader accept a knighthood?)  and all the national institutions taking the knee, which the other men in the street saw, as bowing to street fighter activists outrageous demands. Ie supporting racial divide and suppressing diversity of opinions and abolishing history. Our moral leader Canterbury Arch Runcton, is also confused. He’s a woke bloke that got it wrong at Easter. Streaming his Easter service from his kitchen with his toaster in the background. For God's sake, he must have a parlour with a row of books as a backdrop, in his palatial abode. He’s now having a think about the effigies in the Cathedral and wondering which ones to get rid of. Should he paint Jesus black?  Jesus loves all the children of the world, be they yellow, black or white. What about the brown ones?  They were precious in His sight too? He’s going to need a lot of colours. The Bournemouth beach sunbathing nutters are bright pink still. The Cambridge academia have just funded a two-year study into the history of slavery to enable the oiks to confront their iniquitous past and say sorry to all offended by history. Waste of time, as it’s been done before, over and over and you can’t change it. I’ve got a better idea for them to study.   Research the Benin bronzes. There are 3,OOO of them but only 500 left in Nigeria, the rest in Europe and USA museums. They are exquisite. The Portuguese kicked off the Atlantic slave trade in 1400 from the port of Benin with gold, which the Africans turned into these fantastic plaques, I think but not sure. I’m too busy doing my epidemic virus studies to go to the British Museum and find out. And we are not allowed yet, to visit Portugal unless keen enough to fly to Spain and walk across the border to check up on the museum artifacts in Lisbon. It’s good to see Lewis Hamilton constructively addressing inequality in the motor racing world.  The aggrieved black community can be placated and inspired by their own incredibly successful race if they listen. We have diversity, we have opportunity, we have laws, education, healthcare, social services, state welfare funding and overall, a tolerant multicultural society, who are very tired of the woke politically-correct champagne socialists agenda over the last decade.  There are deep social and economic injustices which are nothing to do with slavery or racial prejudice. Lewis Hamilton lives in Monte Carlo to save paying a hefty U.K. income tax liability. He was raised in Stevenage and lived in a council house with his family partially supported by the welfare state. Is he a philanthropist who promotes the welfare of others by donating money for schools etc.? No he’s not if he’s a British citizen tax evader. Is he a Monacoan now.? Is he a hypocrite? I don’t know?  Perhaps the academics can ask the uni students to research,  write a paper and make up their own minds. Estate agents will not in future be using Master Bedroom in their ads. Connotations of slave masters etc. Uncle Bens rice is to be repackaged without the jolly black man, Aunt Jemima also and awaiting more news re. MasterCard, Master chef, Master Mind, Headmaster ( the lefty teachers union still keeping schools shut) Masters degree, a tricky one for Cambridge. We are living with the virus and hanging in with our self-imposed restrictions and socially distancing. The copper masks and latex gloves worked a treat when John needed to visit the GP surgery for a blood test to check prostate antigen level insomuch not coughing. Although London has seen a slight rise in the R rate, no doubt due to the mass protests, the infection rate remains stable and patients being more successfully treated with drugs, to avoid intensive care. The disproportionate ethnic infection rate is due to blood group, genetic disparity, and body mass ratio, and a difference in the percentage of T cells. These cells decline with age and are responsible for fighting off infection without causing a major auto-immune response. People past 65, have very few left.   This theory explains why the young can come in contact with the virus but don’t succumb, however, if repeatedly exposed will catch it and manufacture antibodies and can still remain asymptomatic. Mass testing suggests that 40 percent of the population has been exposed with few symptoms, the silent spreaders who have the herd immunity. So we know the virus is still around and can’t trust the idiots to self-isolate if positive. All we can hope for is that they wear a mask and keep away from the elderly. Once the herd immunity and those who have recovered from it reach 60 percent, providing the medically vulnerable and fatties avoid it, the virus will find no host, cannot, therefore, multiply and shed and theoretically die away.  So it’s a balance. As the months go on there is hope for more preventive medication to alleviate the symptoms and of course a vaccine. Last October, the WHO  found that U.K. and USA  were the best in the world prepared for a pandemic.  Cameron had placed an order for millions of PPE equipment with a French company with the deposit to fund the manufacturer to make it.  By the time U.K. needed it, we got the deposit refunded but the stocks were needed in France and they had sold some items at a higher price,  to Italy.  That’s Globalisation for you and the free market. Meanwhile, a couple who were distilling boutique gin in the midlands, altered their equipment to distill hand sanitizers and viral cleansing fluids as NHS  were buying it in from abroad at an inflated price. They now supply the NHS cheaply and in the past 12 weeks have made 30 million pounds profit. Well done as they are donating a substantial amount to Covid research. No doubt as a tax saving incentive, but still commendable. There’s a lot to be said for self-reliance.  The govt. with its 80 strong SAGE - the Scientific, Advisory Government Epidemic advisors, have caused the pandemonium. At the outset, the models and graphs predicting the scale have been proved wrong. Simple precautions were overlooked.  Emptying geriatric wards, filling up care homes with staff untrained in infection control was scandalous. Mask wearing should have been made compulsory on public transport, supermarkets and shops at the outset and at least some sort of temperature checking and contact tracing at airports and ferries. So, onto local lockdowns and long term containment.  Boris is getting on with Brexit and left Hanlon to contain the virus,  Hope the strategy works. I have faith in the laboratory’s scientists and the trials and the guinea pigs testing the emerging vaccines. Meanwhile, tomatoes coming along, being well-nourished and in good shape and we are up to four playing again at croquet. Sainsbury delivering without hassle and Miles and Giles still surprising me with a tablespoon of Baharat in a nifty environment-friendly container. It made the lamb taste different. The kennels are open but missed the boat as all the  rescue dogs are  adopted and long waiting lists for puppies.

A dog called Nigger, I imagine a black or brown Labrador,  who was loved and died in 1878, had a headstone in the animal cemetery in a Sussex village graveyard. The local stonemason has ground away the name as the villagers thought it might cause offence to visitors and that dog’s owners would understand as they were dead anyway and not around to ask permission. Just love kind people. The drought's over and it’s cool as we are and hope you are too. Take care Love from Val And from your fearless leader,Gordon

Here, of all places - Chapter 2

First of all, thank you for the amazing response to the first chapter!! Hope you enjoy this one as well ;)

First part here.

A ding announced the doors closing again, and a firm hand with long fingers stopped their movement, opening them back.

She prayed for Earth to rip open and swallow her into its deepest core, erasing her into oblivion and disappearing that very moment. Spontaneous combustion. The rapture. Anything. His smirk and the way he looked at her from under his eyelashes wasn’t helping either. She gaped, as if trying to expel some kind of coherent thought, but no sound come out of her mouth, and shut it close.

Geillis had already got in and was staring at her, arching her perfectly plucked blonde eyebrows.

��Claire?” She asked puzzled. “Care to join us?“

Slowly, convinced she now knew how a condemned prisoner felt on his last steps towards the gallows, she entered the elevator and stood, with her back to the other two users, near the doors that slid back into place almost trapping her feet. Her blood was still deciding between flooding her limbs and prompting her to run or dancing under the skin of her face, blushing it beyond imagination. Thoughts ran wild through her mind. What were the odds? Well, of course this was going to happen. It was just the way the Universe had to tell her that every mistake or indiscretion she was willing to commit would inevitably lead to an embarrassing situation with guest starring flushing, cursing and running for dear life.

The doors opened again and Claire exited like the place smelled of brimstone, but her rush faded slightly when she realized she had no idea where she was. Geillis’ chuckle behind her and her hand on her arm acted as an anchor to reality, one she welcomed and hung to in order to avoid having to pledge temporal insanity.

“Locker rooms are this way,“ she pointed while he seemed to follow the same direction. Claire didn’t dare to look over her shoulder, knowing he would be there, staring at her with that overconfident smile dancing in the corners of his lips. A sudden wave of heat crashed against her.

His lips… His lips discovering the lost freckles on her skin, revering each and every one of them before finding the next. Traveling from her neck to her earlobe, the tip of his tongue making her eyes roll to the back of her head before parting her own lips and conquering every inch of her mouth.

“Christ…” She panted, shaking her head from the flashes of last night’s hidden memories.

Claire hurried into the female changing room and collapsed on one of the benches, covering her face with both her hands and trying to steady her heartbeat. Geillis opened her cubby, grabbed her navy blue scrubs and sat by her side.

“What is it? Ye’re nervous for the first day? Breathe easy. ’Tis not…”

“It was him,” she muttered still covering her face.

“What?”

“That man in the elevator. It was him. Last night. Best sex in ages?” Claire repeated until it dawned on Geillis, who stood and began to change.

“Ye’re tellin’ me ye slept with him— Really?” Doubt (and teasing) was clear in his voice, muffled under the clothes. Claire looked at her, sighing, and began to change her clothes as well.

“Really. I didn’t know…”

“How would you. Dinna martyr yerself, Beauchamp. If it’s any consolation, the whole base is trying to get in his pants since he got stationed here six weeks ago. At least ye’ve.“

“Oh, that’s consolation, yeah.”

Bitting her lip, Claire closed her locker with her bag and clothes inside and slipped into her lab coat. Well, the facility was a kilometric maze and if the odds were in her favor, she’d be able to avoid him and never cross paths with him. She reassured herself like this, breathing deeply and tightening her fists. No, this was her chance for a new life, one without the burdens of the past, a clean slate, and she was willing to make the most of it. Nodding with conviction, she turned to follow Geillis out of the changing room, with her stethoscope hanging around her neck.

But as Geillis held the door for her to pass, the one that guarded the entrance of the male locker room got opened by her worst —and best— nightmare. Sporting an army uniform, consisting of a camouflage pants, boots and a khaki t shirt, tighter than it should be legal, Jamie appeared with that crooked smiled that seemed permanently plastered on his face. Straight out of the shower, an errant drop dancing down his temple, his curls were damp and sleekly combed backwards in a more strict manner than the freedom they roamed with before.

Claire’s eyes darted immediately towards the elevator and Geillis tried to imprint a slightly faster pace to their walk, but his strides matched their efforts and they awkwardly stood in front of the same doors they had left just minutes before. Looking at him sideways and praying for him to stay quiet, Claire fidgeted with her stethoscope for what felt like eternity. She saw him smile knowingly and opened his mouth a couple of times, as if he was deciding what to say, before closing it back silently and smiling again.

Geillis’ hand grabbing her arm snapped her out of her self pitying haze.

“We’ll be taking the stairs,“ Geillis said questioningly, arching an eyebrow an waiting for Claire’s nod, one that came swiftly and set them both on their way, away from the elevator. The moment they arrived to the medical floor, she leaned against the wall and sighed.

“This is going to be a problem.“

Helwater was a military faciliity located in the outskirts of Edinburgh. It was designed both as an intelligence and a recovery center for soldiers who had been injured in the line of duty and were stabilized, but not healthy enough to return to their homes or back in service. Geillis had been working there for the past four years, and when Claire called her two months ago, she didn’t waste a second before recommending her to her superiors and granting her an interview that turned out rather successfully. So she had packed her bags, or at least as much as she could, and run away from Oxford into the loving arms of Scotland.

Waiting by the nurse station was Dr. Joe Abernathy, the medical chief of the facility and the one that had decided to hire Claire in that moment of need. There was something about his warmness, despite being in the military, that had forced Claire to spill her guts and tell him why the sudden change of career path. And keen of sincerity as he was, he had opened this new opportunity for her to make the most of it.

“Dr. Beauchamp, good to see you,“ he welcomed her shaking her hand vigorously and eliciting a smile from her.

“Thank you again, Dr. Abernathy, for this opportunity. I hope I’ll be able to catch up—“

“Nonsense. I know you will. Let me give you the tour and put you up to speed.”

Geillis left them with a smile and an encouraging wink to resume her own tasks, and Claire followed him diligently. Dr. Abernathy explained her the different methodologies and protocols in place, and escorted her around the premises showing her where everything was, from the wing where most seriously injured patients were lodged, to the different storage rooms where she could find any medical supply she needed.

“Good morning, soldier,” she said to one of the patients that had arrived earlier that week. Reading his chart, he had been wounded during a drill and his left femur had broken in three different places. A nasty fracture that had been stabilized but needed a more detailed surgery for him to regain full use of the leg. “How’s pain today?”

“Bearable, doctor,” he answered wincing almost inadvertently.

“You don’t have to suffer for a second, soldier,” Claire stated as she looked at his analgesic drip, adjusting it. “We need you back in one piece and being in pain only will delay your recovery. So no unnecessary bravery here when you’ll be needing it in the future, you understand?”

Her tone made him square his shoulders and nod curtly.

“Yes, madame. Hurts like getting your balls crushed with hot pliers.”

“Much better,” she chuckled and increased the dosage. “Let me know if the pliers cool.”

Dr. Abernathy’s low, quiet laughter accompanied her steps out of the patient’s room and she smiled in return.

“They don’t need to be brave here and put up with the pain, especially if we can manage it easily,” she commented while updating the chart.

“Those kids are used to be brave no matter what. So it’s nice that you give them the chance to at least let their guard down for a few days.”

She nodded and left the chart in the station, before grabbing the next one.

The rest of the day passed by uneventful. Claire’s main focus was to absorb every detail about the way things were done, and Abernathy proved to be an excellent teacher, calm but pointed, watching her every decision like a hawk. Lunch consisted of a sandwich and a light soda going over the charts that had piled in the past few days, before getting acquainted with the rest of the patients. One hour before it was time to call it a day, Abernathy approached her with a file and sat next to her.

“This case is especial. This patient isn’t in the facility. He’s currently being transferred here from Irak, but we’re in constant communication with the team that’s extracting him and we’ve developed a plan. Since you’re to be his main physician the minute he lands here, you’re responsible for his course of treatment. Take a look to see if you agree with what we’ve decided so far and if so, you have to go and report to Captain Fraser. He’s the our military liaison in this case.”

“Sure, let me see.”

Claire took the file and went through the notes. Her stomach clenched when she read the first evaluation of his wounds. Clearly it was going to be one of the most challenging cases she’d been confronted with, but reading throughout the course of treatment, she only disagreed with one of options.

“Actually I think we could manage to obtain a skin graph from a donor. They have a much better chance of healing properly than synthetic, but otherwise I think we’re good to go.”

“Good. Change it and I’ll call the captain to let him know you’re coming.”

She scribbled her note quickly, closed the file and followed her boss indications to get to the office. After a long walk, two flights of stairs and showing her ID twice, she managed to enter the intelligence commanding officers wing. Quiet as it was, she suddenly felt intimidated by the space. Sparkling clean, every cedar door had a golden nameplate indicating who was the current inhabitant of each study, and when she finally reached her destination, she inhaled deeply and knocked firmly on the door.

“Come in,” a muffled voice invited.

The knob felt cold against her palm, turning it to grant access, but when her eyes roamed the room and finally settled on the occupant of the mahogany desk, Claire felt her blood boiling and freezing at the same time.

Fuck.

Part three already up.

#028 List of Handy Excuses (A)

Supervillains are, obviously, not the most considerate people in the world. They steal, they kill, they unleash an army of mutant squids on a populace caught unawares, they loiter, and they do it all the absolute worst times. Like, how hard would it even be to just call up any given hero and try to coordinate schedules? It’s not hard at all. Bad guys are so rude. And so, as it so often happens, heroes need good excuses to extract themselves from any given situation in order to go and fight crimes. Sure you can go with the classics “I have to go to the bathroom now!” or “I think my mother is calling me!” or “My refrigerator is running and I’d better go catch it!” but after a while people will start to get suspicious. To circumvent that problem, or at the very least, delay it, we’ve devised a list of handy excuses sorted alphabetically by occupation (This way you can always blame work for ducking out of your important family functions. Then your family won’t hate you. They’ll just hate your job.)

B C D E

Accordion Player

A Pigini Mythos just went on sale. (Yeah that’s right, I did some accordion research. Trying to appeal to the accordion crowd. Accordion to the internet this is the rarest one. editor’s note: not everything has to be a pun Zach!)

Accountant

There is a graphing calculator related emergency I must leave!

Boring Convention™ the convention for boring people is being held right now. It’s a convention so boring that they didn’t even bother making a fun abbreviation like BoCon or BoCo. It just doesn’t deserve one. Anyway, bye.

Acrobat

There is a one-time-only dual sale on trapezes and leotards I need to go.

Hey there’s a super-battle going on, maybe the Amazing Death Defying Acro-Knight will be there and he can teach me how to do that super cool move he does where he does a backflip while kicking a bad guy in the face.

Actor

I was just offered to role of a supervillain in a new direct to DVD movie, I must go to the scene of this supervillain attack to do some research.

My director just called, she says that since we’ve blown through our special effects budget, we’re going to just film the latest disaster film at a real super-battle, wish me luck.

Actuary

I tried looking up what an actuary does and I got very bored, very fast. Just get up and walk out of your actuary cubicle and go save the world (wo)man.

K fine someone on the internet dumbed it down for me so here’s a “real” one: In order to properly determine the risk of death or injury in a super-battle I need to go get some hands on experience. (YAAAAAAAAWN)

Acupuncturist

That supervillain is clearly very stressed out. If I could just get down there, and stick some needles in them, I really think I could defuse the situation.

Doesn’t “acupuncturist” seem like it would have two c’s after the a, I’m going to go on a long etymological journey to discover why it doesn’t.

Addiction Counselors

One of my patients is addicted to super-battles. I need to go make sure they’re not there.

Administrative Worker

My Dictaphone, which I often use in my administrative work is “on the fritz.” I am going out to get a new one. Don’t wait up.

Admiral

That bad guy is attacking the water which is, of course, my domain.

The Navy is calling me.

That bad guy is attacking the land which is very close to the water which is, of course, my domain.

Admission Directors

I need keep changing my location constantly to avoid being hounded by parents of prospective students who are trying to get their children into my college.

One of my applicants put down “superhero” as one of his extra-curricular activities so I’ve been going to every superhero fight to make sure that that’s on the up and up. I haven’t seen him yet. He’s probably lying to me. This is almost definitely a huge waste of time.

Advertising

I want to go pitch these new sleeker and aerodynamic bottles to that bad guy. I think he’d like them. He could fill them with poisons or energy drinks or whatever it is bad guys drink or keep in bottles.

I think I could really improve this superhero’s “brand” like I don’t know, for some reason the blood stained viking helmet and iron trident he’s sporting aren’t really endearing him with the public.

Aerial Rigger

If I don’t replace those aerial masts nobody will. And you know what happens then? We lose communication in one of many buildings. And you know what happens then? Relationships breakdown. Communication is key folks. And I’m the key to that communication.

Agent

Do you think that superhero has representation?

Do you thank that supervillain has representation?

Do you think that cowering bystander has representation?

Do you think that police officer who is clearly way in over her head has representation?

Agronomist

There’s some seed farming that needs doing, and I, the world’s greatest agronomist (feel free to say this even if you’re not really the world’s greatest agronomist) am the only one who can properly determine the proper way to technologically do that.

Air Traffic Controller

DO YOU WANT PLANES TO CRASH BYE.

Airline Clerk

During a supervillain attack people are always in a rush to get out of the city and the only way to do that is to purchase airline tickets and I am the only person who is fit and capable enough to sell them those tickets.

Alchemist

I’m going to transfigure that bad situation into a good situation

Algebra Teacher

I’m going to go FOIL some crimes. (You’re allowed to give up your secret identity if you can make a really good pun while doing it.)

If I join that fight that bad guy could be defeating in only a fraction of the time.

I need to go subtract that bad guy from this town.

Allergist

The pollen count here is TOO DAMN HIGH. We all need to leave.

Ambulance Driver

Just go! Who the hell is going to stop an ambulance driver from leaving somewhere!

Anchorman

Wouldn’t this broadcast be way better if I was actually reporting from the scene of the battle?

(Wouldn’t this broadcast be way better if I was actually reporting while actually throwing punches at the bad guy at the scene of the battle?)

Anesthesiologists

Ok this one is kind of sketchy but in a pinch you could just dose everyone you’re with with anesthesia and then just duck out with no explanation… [Note: We are only recommending that you do this if you are a profession at anesthetizing people, no one else do this!]

Anger Management Counselor

Ok, this actual supervillain clearly has some unresolved anger issues. I must go where I’m needed.

Animator

If I don’t get to the office a cartoon character will die.

Announcer

I think we can all agree that super-battles would be a lot more fun to watch if someone with a nice deep buttery voice, someone such as myself, was there to announce the comings and goings of the various superpowered and/or costumed fighters.

Pigs. In. Spaaaaaaaaace. (Read it in the voice! Read it in the voice!)

Anthropologist

I’m leaving now. Don’t question it. It’s something I picked up while doing field work. Leaving abruptly. No one question it.

Arbitrator

Uh, I’m going to go arbitrate that superhero fight. (Pfft that was an easy one.)

Archeologist

Some guy just dug up some dinosaur bones and I am the only one who can guess how they fit together. I’m the best at guessing what dinosaurs looked like based on the bones we dig up. It’s like my thing. Ask anyone.

There’s a temple that needs exploring someone hand me my whip and my special hat.

Archer

I should get down to that battle, my bow and arrow skills may come in handy. (Hahahaha I’m kidding nobody’s going to believe this just say you’re going to the bathroom or something I dunno man.)

Architect

A building was just destroyed. It calls to me. For healing.

Archivist

Someone needs to go get a detailed record of this super battle… for the archives… why shouldn’t it be me.

Someone found something really old that needs to be stored. But not like in a museum where people can see it and enjoy it. And not like in a time capsule where it can be dug up in the future. I’m gonna go stick in the archive where if anybody ever wants to see it, they have to talk to me first. This is also, incidentally, a great way to make friends.

Art Critic

Someone’s just painted something. I can feel it inside of me. I must go insult it.

Art Restorer

Look at that, they’re fighting near a museum. I need to get down there in case some art gets damaged. In the art restoring business it’s first come, first served. 

Artist

I have been struck with a burst of creativity I must retreat now to my studio where I must not be disturbed! (Ideally there’d be a secret passageway to your hideout from your art studio.)

I have always wanted to paint a super-battle.

Artiste

Ie havee beene strucke withe ae burste ofe creativitye Ie muste retreate nowe toe mye studioe wheree Ie muste note bee disturbede!

Ie havee alwayse wantede toe painte ae supere-battlee

Assistant to the Regional Manager

I have the most important job in the office, where I go and when I go there is of no concern to you (Jim)!

Assemblyman/Assemblywoman

Look if a super-battle is going down you know somebody’s going to be assembling something.

Assassin

Uh, I’m going to go assassinate that supervillain... (are there many superhero assassins do you think?)

Astronaut

I am going to space.

Astronomer

 I am going to go look at space (no this one won’t work if you say that everyone’s going to want to come and look at space with you because space is rad.)

I am going to go look at telescopes (there we go.)

Astrologer

I don’t even have to come up for one for you guys. If anyone could think of a good lie on the spot it’s the people who come up with horoscope predictions.

Athletic Director

Wow those super-people look to be in relatively good shape, I should go scout them for my high school volleyball team 

Attack Drone

My programming requires that I leave immediately.

Beep bop beep boop. I’m leaving.

Auctioneer

I’m going once. I’m going twice. I’m gone.

Audiologist

It doesn’t actually matter what you say, most of the people you’re going to be with can’t hear well anyway.

Auditor

Wait a minute, I recognize this supervillain. I audited his evil agency. There is no way he could afford that giant badger mecha. Something is awry here. I must get to the office.

Author

The spirit of the pen has possessed me I must go and write right now.

Tune in next time where we tackle all of the B occupations (well ok, next post is actually going to be about alien invasions, we’ll probably do one of these like once a month or something.) If you have an A job that isn’t represented here (speaking of representation, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any difference between an attorney and a lawyer so you’ll have to wait like a year til we get to L.) By all means, contact us. Or just stay put and never go off to do superhero stuff. Or come up with your own excuses.

The Only Thing Left

Reaction fic for 3.18 because oh my goddddddddd

The Only Thing Left

Cisco perched on Caitlin's desk. She said immediately, "Get your butt off my nice clean desk."

"What are you implying about my butt?" Without waiting for an answer, he scooped up about half the cup's worth of strawberry jello. "So, here's what I don't get about that Pandora's box story,"

"The what?" she asked absently, concentrating on her graphs. Woman was crazy for her data, and he was saying that as an engineer, okay.

"You know Pandora's box?" he said through a mouthful of sugary gelatin goodness. "The story about the old-times lady who opened up the box the gods told her not to and - "

"Released all the evils of the world, yes, Cisco, I read Bullfinch's Mythology too. What's your point?"

He knew about Pandora's box from Wishbone, not Bullfinch's Mythology, but he didn't point that out because her mom hadn't let her watch a talking dog sharing great literature. If there was one thing they'd discussed thoroughly, it was how much Mama Snow had hated joy.

"So, the end of the story? How there was one thing left in the box after war and death and famine and people who cut funding for school lunches had all been released?"

She sat back, looking up at him. "Hope," she said. "That's what was left. Hope."

"Right. What even was hope doing in the box with a bunch of evil things? That never made sense to me. Isn't hope a good thing?"

"Oh, Cisco," she said softly. "Hope is a wicked, wicked thing."

"That's cynical," he said. "Hope keeps you going."

She stood up and touched his face with her fingertips. He lost his breath, which happened sometimes with Caitlin, when he looked at her and his brain went, oh, hey, hi there. Hi, you. Another kind of hope.

"Hope lies," she told him. "It strings you along. Tells you impossible things. Keeps the agony sharp, long after you should have moved on."

"Okay," he said, voice croaking. "Yeah. It's not always good - "

"Hope might be the worst evil of all. Except maybe for me."

Her eyes went blue and her hand on his face went icy cold and -

He woke up screaming.

When his voice gave out, he found himself huddled under his blankets. He'd taken to sleeping under mounds of them, sweating through the night, but it never seemed to thaw the ice that slid through his veins ever since -

"Maybe she's in there," he said.

"She was gone," H.R. told him. "Her heart stopped."

He looked at Julian, who after all had more medical experience than H.R. To be fair, there were washcloths with more medical experience than H.R., but anyway the point stood. "Your brain doesn't die right away when your heart stops, right?" he asked. "It's why you - "

Julian stood abruptly. He looked pale. Positively waxy. "I know what I did."

"Isn't it possible - "

"Killer Frost had taken over completely," he said. His lips were tight and bloodless. "The only way she could do that is if Caitlin were - "

"But - before. You weren't here for it, but we got her back before. She was in there and we got her back, so maybe - "

"She's gone, Cisco," Julian said. He went into Caitlin's lab and slammed the door.

Cisco pressed his face into his pillow.

He and Caitlin had actually had that discussion about hope and Pandora's box and all, sometime after when Ronnie had disappeared into the singularity, before she'd gone to Mercury Labs. At the time, he'd sympathized but privately thought she was speaking out of grief.

Now he knew exactly what she'd meant.

He looked at the CCTV footage and saw Killer Frost, who looked nothing like Caitlin. Different hair, different eyes, definitely different dress sense.

But sometimes she tilted her head or moved her hands in a way that screamed Caitlin, this is Caitlin, and he had to look away.

He had her necklace, entombed in a box that sat on his desk. He hated himself sometimes for not putting it back on her when Julian had ripped it off. He'd stood there clutching it, thinking, This isn't what she wants. But there was a little part of him that was relieved Julian had done it, because maybe - maybe -

But Star Labs had thrown the dice once too often, using Caitlin, using her powers, and they'd paid the price. Caitlin had paid the price. And now Killer Frost was loose.

He dreamed about getting Caitlin back. He dreamed it a lot. He dreamed of Barry talking her out of her icy prison again. He dreamed of Julian kissing her awake, like Sleeping Beauty. He dreamed of going up to her himself, taking her hands and saying her name, and she would blink her eyes brown and throw her arms around him.

He even dreamed of Savitar, doing something totally out of character and taking her powers away like some reverse Santa Claus.

He tried to convince himself that they were vibes, that he was seeing the future, that this would all be fine, but he knew better. The colors weren't the right shade of blue. The edges didn't have the right smear. They weren't vibes, they were just dreams.

Hopes.

Killer Frost went Chaotic Evil through the city, hitting - well, pretty much anything that caught her eye, as far as Star Labs could tell. Cisco got them an advantage when he set special watches on all of Caitlin's favorite stores, particularly the ones that she only allowed herself to purchase from once in awhile - too expensive, Cisco, it's not going to fit in the budget this month.

But when it came to her, that was about the only way he was useful.

"It's not her," Julian, Iris, Joe chanted in his earpiece when he faced her down among the shattered shelves of glittering jewelry, or the wreckage of a particularly high-end shoe store. "It's not Caitlin. It's not."

But she'd spotted his weakness early, and he limped back from every confrontation battered and bruised and more than slightly frostbitten. Julian would wrap up his wrenched knee or clean out the gravel from where he'd skidded half a block, not bothering to scold him for once again trying to get through to Caitlin, through all the layers of Killer Frost -

"She's in there," Cisco said. "I believe it. She's got to be in there."

"She's gone," Julian said harshly, and turned away.

If he had, even once, said You're good to go the way Caitlin used to, Cisco would have either cried or decked him. Maybe Julian knew that, because he didn't.

They avoided each other's eyes a lot these days.

Finally, Barry and Wally sat him down and gently, kindly told him Vibe wasn't allowed to fight her anymore. That if they got a report of her, he needed to go back to Star Labs.

He didn't argue.

They didn't want to hurt her either - she'd been their friend too, even she hadn't been quite what she was to Cisco. Mostly they managed to keep her from living up to the Killer part of her name.

That seemed to be at an end when the police found a severely hypothermic man in the wreckage of his small jewelry store.

Cisco hacked into the records of Mercy General - "does patient privacy mean nothing to you lot," Julian said waspishly, and sighed at the blank faces that turned his way - to check on the patient, dreading to find that he'd died or been permanently damaged by frostbite.

What he found made him yell for everybody. They rushed in, pale, ready for another disaster. But he spun in his chair, vibrating with joy. "The guy had a history of heart attacks, and tests show he'd had another one that evening."

". . . yay?" Wally said uncertainly.

"No, no, no - " Cisco leapt to his feet. "Okay, there's this thing, right? This thing, it's called therapeutic hypothermia, when somebody has a heart attack, they chill 'em down - Back me up here," he ordered Julian, who must have learned the technique as a medic. "Isn't that something they do?"

"It is, yes," he admitted reluctantly. "In certain cases, first responders will lower the core temperature, gradually, with cold packs and such, to slow the metabolism and reduce the risk of brain damage after cardiac arrest."

"Which she knew," Cisco burst out. "We talked about it, way back before we even heard the name Killer Frost. What if the guy had a heart attack when she tried to rob his store, and she cooled him down?"

Barry pointed out, "It would be more like Killer Frost to leave him dying on the floor and walk off with most of his inventory. Which, um, she did."

"That's what I'm saying. She didn't have to hit him with the cold whammy. It would just waste her time, with the alarm already going off. Guys, this was Caitlin!"

Julian said quietly, "Cisco, mate, you're grasping."

"She's in there," he said, and watched them shake their heads. "You guys, no, it's a very exact thing, it's not gonna happen by accident - "

Iris gave him a pitying look. He looked away.

"She's in there," he said. "I know it."

Hope is the thing with feathers, perching in his soul. Its beak is razor sharp.

FINIS

And we’ve got our second interview up showcasing another member of the Mecha Maniacs Facebook group, Cole English! This veteran collector and photographer has a long range and history with this genre and it was a real treat to be able to pick his brain and get to know him a bit better.

Kuma: Thanks for doing this interview, how about just telling us a bit about yourself and how you were introduced to mecha?

Cole: I was born in 1974. One of my 1st memories is opening a Raydeen Shogun Warror on Christmas when I was 4. Changed my life. In 5th grade I watched Transformers,Voltron and Robotech after school. Tranzor Z was on before. I grew up in the projects with a single mom. I had transformers – but Voltron wasn’t possible. So, its something I lusted after…

Kuma: So, did you start pretty collecting as an adult? did you continue with watching in between childhood and adulthood and if not what brought you back?

Cole: Personal story here… My son had serious behavioral issues at a young age. I thought he may be on the spectrum. I’d met people with Autistic kids. They would get obsessed with a subject and never get off of it. I knew a woman with a train obsessed teenager – all he did was stay in his room, design railway systems and engines on graph paper. He was incredibly frustrated that there was nothing he could do with it. So, I got my son into robots – “That’s the future” I told myself. He was in fact diagnosed with High Functioning Autism at age 5. But he’s got a 170+ IQ – it’s his life’s goal to design fighting mecha someday. I think I made a solid decision.

Kuma: That’s really awesome! So needless to say you started it off as a family affair?

Cole: Absolutely.

Kuma: That’s freaking incredible and It’s really cool to see you share that passion with the next generation even for the sake of keeping our community alive and well in the future, you know? So now that we know what got you started with the collecting, how did the massive Golion collection get going?

Cole: Well, I finally got a Matchbox Voltron for Christmas after my mother graduated college and started a business. But I was older, and getting into BMX, skateboards and such. But I’ll never forget opening it. I took it outside, combined it, and held it to the sun. It was the most BEAUTIFUL thing I’d ever seen; I didn’t want to put a single scuff on it. So, I packed it back up and stored to for 30 years. But lol, I couldn’t wait for my son to have it. So, I gave the mint GB-36 to him when he was FOUR YEARS OLD! Let’s just say it’s no longer mint – I’ve repaired wings, tails have busted, the chrome is worn and it’s got scraped paint. But it served as his teddy bear for years, and he displays it in his room now. It’s a very important piece because it started us collecting – we’ve got 50+ Voltrons now and more gokins than I can count.

Kuma: That’s really awesome. So with Voltron in particular I’m assuming it’s your favorite mecha? What about it stands out so much for you?

Cole: It’s beautiful to me. The design is perfect – It’s simple, timeless and iconic. Lions that turn into a giant robot? Come on!!

Kuma: Hey, can’t fault you for that. What are some other favorite mecha of yours?

Cole: GAIKING!!! Great Mazinger! The classics. I LOVE any of the combining GoDaiKin characters designed by Katsushi Murakami as well….

Kuma: Ok, so what are some of your favorite a.) Voltron toys and b.) Mecha toys in general?

Cole: I love the original GoLion. Of course the GX-71… The GX-88 is right up there too. It captures the vintage experience and adds to it in a way other recent BANDAI releases have not for me. As for favorite Mecha toys in general, I’m all FEWTURE. I LOVE the look, feel, the ratchets. Unbelievable….

Kuma: That’s awesome. I agree that aAtstorm in general is a highly underrated company in the sense that they make objectively the best products but get overshadowed by companies with more popular licenses. Now I know that you also do Toy photography… what got you started with that and where can people find your works?

Cole: Straight up, I got started when I saw your pics on the Robot-Japan forum. I said, “Whoaa… I wonder if I could do that?” I think I’ve come up with something unique.

My pics can be seen on Instagram at Robots_Are_Art, and I’m an editor for the Mecha Alliance blog on Facebook.

Kuma: Ok cool! So what are some of your favorite pics and/or pieces that you’ve photographed?

Cole: I think my BANDAI DX Chogokin Macross VF-1J came out nicely. SEN-TI-NEL’s Gaiking the Night (Face Open Ver) is incredibly photogenic even though I don’t like handling it. FEWTURE Reideen is a work of art.

Kuma: That’s awesome. It’s so cool to see the differences when people’s favorite mechs to shoot aren’t necessarily their favorite mechs in general.

Cole: Agreed. We’ll see what I come up with for Dairugger… That one IS a favorite.

Kuma: I’m sure it’ll be an awesome gallery man, per usual. To close it up what is some advice you’d give to someone who’s new to collecting and even watching this stuff?

Cole: Don’t over extend yourself financially, lol. Building a killer collection is best done over time. Be patient and the good stuff will come to you. It’s also important to collect with a purpose. I got started to strengthen the bond with my son. Mecha is something I want to last for him. It’s something I want to last for us all….

Kuma: I could not possibly agree anymore with the advice given here. Thank you very much for your time Cole and of course thank you a ton for your contributions to the community as a whole. I’m looking forward to seeing what 2020 has in store for you!

Check out some of Cole’s photography below and don’t forget to follow his works on his Instagram as well as the Mecha Alliance Facebook page.

Mecha Maniacs Collector Spotlight #2: Cole English (Robots_Are_Art) And we've got our second interview up showcasing another member of the Mecha Maniacs Facebook group, Cole English!

Technologies Impacts

This project is a representation of the presence of technology through the ages and how it impacts our lives in various ways. In this project, I will be focusing on several varying forms of technology and how they interact with each other. Some of the links deal with the fear of technology, the existence of artificial intelligence, a new form of internet, how our physical bodies can be impacted, and the combination of science with art. Each topic has four links that introduce different topics relating to one of the five concepts. Although various different ideas play a part in this project each link contributes to an overarching idea of how technology and the human race exist side by side. While my project is missing some intertwining links to some important topics it is simply my interpretation of how technology has and will coexist with us in a drastically distinct new way.

Throughout the ages, the thought of the “new” strikes fear into people whether it was the written word, cars, or the internet. All of which to my generation is simply normal in our everyday lives. Being born in the twenty-first century an exciting time full of possibility and of course a small hint of fear for the “new”. The term for this fear is techno panic, the fear of new technological advances. Although my generation was not born with this fear of techno panic it was instilled upon us as we grew and learned from the previous generations. The author of the Forbes article “The Six Things that Drive ‘Technopanics’” by Adam Thierer speaks of this generational fear and how it spreads from one generation to the next. Thierer states that “Parents and policymakers who dread the changes to cultural or privacy-related norms ushered in by new technologies often forget they, too, wee children and hear similar complaints from their elders…” (Thierer 2012). While unintentional the previous generations become comfortable with the technology of their own generation and unwilling to fully accept that technology has surpassed what they once knew and trusted. This fear and lack of understanding are communicated through complaining, questions, books, and the media. Techno panic is something that is learned and passed to the next generation in an endless loop of worry and fear of the unknown. Hopefully, this fear will not be passed to the next generation to come because change is coming in ways we never imagined.

Not only are techno panics one of the five concepts for this project, but it also is one that affects the other four concepts. Each other concept is a new form and use of technology while techno panic is a feeling that one gets about new technology. On an article about artificial intelligence speaks to our fear of the unknown. “5 AI fears and how to address them” by Kevin Casey speaks to the panic that people have about AI’s. Casey speaks on the fear “that AI will make poor decisions.” (Casey 2019). Therefore, we should not have AIs because they could make a bad decision. Who is to judge what is right and wrong when we as humans each have our own definition of right and wrong? All these definitions base around will it help or hurt me or those around me? It is human to make mistakes but when it is an AI, it must be perfect, a standard that we do not even hold a candle too. Thus, Techno panic influences our view on technology and how we shape this next generation.

Usually, when someone says the words artificial intelligence our minds drift to science fiction movies with an evil AI trying to destroy the human race. However, what people do not realize is that most of us already have AI’s living under the same roof as us. Adam Uzialko points out this fact in his article “How Artificial Intelligence Will Transform Business” by stating “Today, artificial intelligence is a household name (and sometimes even a household presence – hi, Alexa!)” (Uzialko 2019). Alexa has become a staple in many households and not many people view Alexa as an Evil AI. Although, Alexa is not the typical AI we think of she is classified as an AI because she learns from your questions and detects patterns over time to improve her results. artificial intelligence is used as a tool rather than total world domination, working with and for the human race.

Similarly, artificial intelligence is the Internet of Things that just like artificial intelligence was designed to help people with their daily lives. The Internet of things is a linking of technology currently being used with phones. “Wearable devices are flooding the market roughly classified as health and fitness” (Timokhina 2017). The Author of “6 Cool Examples of Interest of Things Applications and How to Develop One” the articles states that “wearables” such as Apple watches and Fitbits are an implication of the Internet of Things because they not only connect to your phone but to a larger network of devices. Now your trainer can see if you are getting in your steps of the day and you can monitor your heart rate and calories burned. Just like AI’s the Internet of Things is slowly making its way into our daily lives making improvements in places that were once vacant.

Therefore, a more detailed analysis of the Internet of Things is a network of connected devices to improve the quality of life. Not just computers and phones but coffee makers, cars, toasters, and anything else that is electronic can be connected to the Internet of Things. Imagine you pull into the office parking lot and the doors automatically unlock, the elevator takes you to your floor where your desktop is already booting up all because the front gate scanned your badge when drove through. An article called “10 Real World Applications of Internet of Things” by an analytics Vidhya content team depicts a graph with years and the number of connected devices. In 1990 there were 0.3 million connected devices and in 2025 it is estimated to be 1 trillion connected devices. In just 3 years the number of connected devices grew by 4 billion devices. Soon the Internet of Things will be connected into all aspects of our lives at the rate that devices are being created.

Comparatively, the Internet of Things can not only impact the technology in our lives but live healthier lives. With the Internet of Things continuously monitoring our lives and our needs it is only possible to have smart drugs created. With the future of the body always looking for ways to impact our lives custom drugs could change the name of the game. “today’s drugs are pretty darn primitive. Why? Because they’re a one-size-fits-all solution that can’t be well tailored to the individual.” (Bohan 2017) Elisa Bohan the author of “10 Human Body Modifications You Can Expect in the Next Decade” states. Tailored drugs will decrease the number of side effects and ensure that patients are getting the proper medication. With your refills being connected to the Internet of Things it can also add extra vitamin C if you are unable to get outside enough. With the two concepts working together anything is possible.

The fourth technology concept is the future of the body and how technology can adjust our physical bodies. Humans are constantly trying to become a better version of themselves whether it is through education or fitness. We use technology to write papers, watch documentaries, run on treadmills, and cook our food. Though, the technology we rely on can also make us lazy. An interesting article called “This Creepy Life-Sized Doll is a Warning About What Office Life is Doing to Us” talks about the effect that a computer has on the average desk worker’s life. “The average worker is said to spend 8 years of their life sitting in front of a computer working” (Houser 2019). “Because of this the average office worker in 20 years will have a permanent bent back, the muscle in their legs will be weak, their eyes will be red due to staring at a screen, and their immune system will be low due to lack of sunlight” (Houser 2019). While this is a negative example it is possible to improve this, standing desks are a new trend in offices as well as nicer break rooms. The future of the body focuses on how technology affects or improves the human body.

Granting, it is not the only concept that deals with transforming technology to fit our bodies. Unlike the future of the body, cyborgs or enhanced persons physically implant technology into their bodies as a way of bettering themselves. One article called “7 real-life human cyborgs” speaks of how one man used technology to improve his body. “Neil Harbisson, for example, was born with only the ability to see black and white. He then created a specialized electronic eye that turns color into sound. This allows him to “hear” color.” (Nelson 2013). Just like with the future of the body people are using the technology around them to impact their lives.

           The last concept has to do with two very distinct takes nature. One is creating and changing the human body with technology recognized as the broad topic of cyborgs. While the second deals with combining art and science creating the relatively new genre of Bio art. The concept of cyborgs is to improve either externally or internally the human body. Some have implanted chips into their bodies that connect with the technology around them, some create bionic limbs that are connected to their nervous systems or brains to allow them to move, and or several other procedures and implications. Becoming a cyborg is a way to become a “higher” being whether it is intelligence or strength. On the other hand, bio-art is all about pushing the boundaries of nature to get people to think of the world around them differently. Some pieces of bio-art explained in the article “’Bio art’ show offers a walk in the wild side” stir up lots of controversy like the fluorescent green rabbit. “The artist, who cooperated with a scientist, combined jellyfish and rabbit DNA to produce a glowing bunny” (Meiling 2019). People were outraged by the prospect of mixing genes and splicing them together to get an animal not unlike others but with a distinct modification. As humans with modern technology, we are pushing the boundaries of nature in ourselves and the world around us.

           Furthermore, science fiction instills a very distinct image of what a cyborg is when in reality it is usually not so in your face. One of the major barriers to becoming a cyborg is the fear that has been installed in us from the generations before us.  Techno panic is a large factor in slowing the momentum of the possibilities with the alterations and modifications made to those called cyborgs. An interesting take from the article “Top 10 technology-induced moral panics” by Natasha Lomas is “Today’s popular concerns include the fear that the internet somehow rots your brain” (Lomas 2011). Thus, combining the human body with technology or the internet must have devastating impacts on the host. Meanwhile, those with cyborg transformations have not hurt themselves but positively impacted their lives in a way that was not possible before.

           By this time, all five concepts have been thoroughly explained and I have demonstrated how each concept is essential not only for its impact on technology but its impact on our lives. Techno panics teach us that it is okay to fear the “new” but to remain open-minded so as not to limit or slow the wheels of innovation. While the calm and helpful approach of artificial intelligence is a massive step from its evil science fiction counterparts. AI’s like Alexa help bridge the gap and learn from our questions on how to better our lives. However, that is nothing compared to the Internet of Things and the connections it can make throughout our daily lives. The Internet of Things will eventually be able to predict and implement the steps to fulfill our needs before we recognize it. Nevertheless, human beings will always be fascinated with the future of the body thus, how technology can impact and will impact our lives as a whole and the environments we live in. Whereas, humans will also improve their interior and exterior forms to help live an improved lifestyle as well as those around them. Technology is an amazing project topic to study due to its complex impacts on our lives. It will not only be apart of our life but soon to be apart of us. Thus, concluding my interpretation of how five technology concepts influence us and the world we live in.

A list of cool startups in Seattle and their awesome websites

New York City is one of the most important cities in the world for finance, e-commerce, and healthcare. A number o startups in those industries have risen up in the last few decades.

However, these aren’t the only industries were successful New York startups can be found. A diverse number of startups have come into being recently. These impressive young companies have equally diverse and impressive founding teams.

Teach startup companies have been flourishing in New York since 2017. There are a lot of young tech companies in NYC. They have been driving innovation and making sure the tech scene is well-funded thanks to active local investors.

These New York startups have an eye for fresh funding, top talent, and innovative technology. The list below consist of some of the best New York startups that are likely to make a big difference in the tech industry in the years to come. Take a look!

Roomi

This app allows users to search for verified apartment listings and roommates. The CEO, Ajay Yadav, founded the company in 2013 after he had roommate problems.

Since then, this 43- employees company has raised $17 million in funding. It recently received $11 million Series A. Roomi plans to expand into other markets, including overseas.

Stash

Stash helps people get better at managing and investing their money. It makes it much easier, allowing people to start investing for as low as $5. Stash is very rapidly expanding its platform and honing it to a fine edge. So far, it has raised about $79 million.

HyperScience

This company makes ample use of artificial intelligence. The use of artificial intelligence has been improving almost every industry, inspired whole works of fiction in film and television, and helped companies automate reoccurring workflows.

HyperScience helps enterprise companies and government organizations reduce the amount of time spent on tedious assignments like data entry and extraction. It has raised $18.8 million so it can be automation services to more people around the world.

Knotel

This company’s goal is to help people love the place where they work. Knotel is a network of customizable working space. They are all very well managed and beautifully designed. They have been around NYC since 2015 and their facilities are the envy of offices all across the city.

They have a fresh $25 million Series A funding round. The future looks very bright for Knotel and they plan on adding locations all around the world.

Plated

Plated brings chef-designed, customizable meal kits with pre-proportioned ingredients to you. They use organic, fresh, and sustainable ingredients in their meal kits. You can get these delicious meals delivered to you can pick them up from a nearby Albertson’s.

Teachable

This is a platform that allows instructors for all kinds of subjects to create and share their own courses. It was founded in 201 with funding of $8.5 million.

Today, the company has over 20,000 active courses, 10,000 online instructors, and more than five million students. All of these are found on their simple all-in-one platform.

Beeswax

This adtech platform was founded in 2014 and offers a customizable and affordable real-time building stack. It only really came into its own and moved out of beta when it partnered with Foursquare in 2016. This company was started by a group of former Google employees.

Call9

This service reduces unneeded trips to the emergency room by bringing emergency care to the beds of nursing home patients. It raised $24 million in 2017 to enhance its platform and hire more clinical care specialists.

mParticle

This customer data platform has partnered with Snapchat, expanded to Europe, and raised $35 million in funding in 2017 alone. mParticle coordinates customer experiences across multiple devices, including on mobile television, and web.

Away

You have probably seen ads for Away. This company is a travel brand that makes tech0enabled products such as luggage. The company was founded by a group of former Warby Parker employees. They have been recognized in Forbes 30 Under 30. They plan on starting brick-and-mortar retail locations to their business plan in years to come.

Resy

This app makes it easy to book reservations at some of the hottest restaurants in the city. Restaurants also use it as a reservation and waitlist system. It has raised $15 million in funding and recently acquired Servy, a “secret shopper service for restaurants”.

Brooklinen

This company was founded in Brooklyn by husband-and-wife duo Vicki and Rich Fulop. It originally sold its luxury-quality bedding on Kickstarter.

It strives to sell “luxury bedding at non-luxury prices” online. They seek to cut out the middlemen. They sell great bedding (normally $300) at costs as low as $99.

Elysium Health

Elysium Health wants to help people live healthier and longer through the use of supplements. Their first product, Basis, aims to boost the levels of the nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide (NAD) protein found in cells, which may help prevent aging.

Bowery

This innovative urban farming NYC startup grows plants in a warehouse farm located eight miles outside of New York City in Kearny, New Jersey. They estimate that they can grow 100 times more plants per square foot than your average urban farm.

The plants are grown under LEDs instead of sunlight and in nutrient0rich water beds instead of soil.

They also have their own operating system, BoweryOS, which changes the weather conditions of their warehouse farm. Bowery plants are not sold at Whole Foods and Foragers locations in New York City.

Squarespace

Squarespace looks to help people make beautiful and simple websites for everything from side hustles to local charitable organizations. They allow users to easily make awesome professional websites.

ZocDoc

This database allows you to decide which doctor you should visit by evaluating your location, needs, and insurance. It’s a simple and fast database designed to make life easier.

Delivery.com

Devlivery.com is a service that brings food, alcohol, groceries, and laundry. You just use their app to set everything up and wait!

OS33

This service is all about security and freedom. They will take care of backing up your data, keeping spyware off your computer, and help you gain more peace of mind.

Uplevel

At Uplevel, they seek out intelligent technical solutions to real enterprise security problems. Their years of experience in advanced technology and counterintelligence have made them passionate about creating new technology to help organizations thwart emerging threats. Applying graph theory to the technical attributes of cyberattacks can be a powerful solution to achieve this.

UnitedMasters

United Masters’ platform empowers musicians to share their songs with listeners without a record label. The company uses technology to analyze data and display retargeting ads designed to build a fanbase.

Trilogy Education Services

Trilogy Education is a Workforce Accelerator. They create and manage skills-based training programs that are driven by employer needs.

The Karma Network

Karma is a global network of leading family offices, investors, and entrepreneurs building profitable solutions to the world’s most pressing challenges. Karma is closing the gap between information and opportunity.

The Helm

The Helm makes it easy to invest in women. They bring you the latest female-founded products and companies, tell you why they matter, and connect you with ways to support them directly.

Slice Labs

Slice Labs is an insurance tech platform that uses AI and machine learning to give users customized insurance at affordable rates.

SelfMade

On-brand, professional Instagram posts, every day. SelfMade puts your feed on autopilot and gives you back time to build your business.

Reality AI

Reality AI is machine learning for embedded product development using sensors. Use accelerometers, vibrations, sound, electrical signals or any other sensor to make your machines smarter.

Meural

Technology meets fine art with Meural, a digital canvas that displays a range of classical and contemporary artwork.

Maven

Welcome to Maven, the digital clinic empowering  women and families with expert, convenient, and compassionate healthcare on-demand.

LeafLink

Cannabis may not be legal in NYC just yet, but that’s not stopping LeafLinkfrom getting a head start. In November, the platform raised $10 million to define — not disrupt — the industry and set the stage for the cannabis supply chain.

Laughable

Laughable was launched in 2015 as a way for comedians and fans to connect. Using mobile software and data science, the platform lets users subscribe to comedy podcasts and follow their favorite comedians.

Knotch

Founded in 2013 with $13.9 million in funding to date, Knotch supports some industry heavyweights, including JP Morgan Chase, GE and Colgate.

Knock

Knock is a platform that helps simplify the fragmented, confusing process of selling and buying a home.

Intersection

Intersection is the company that’s transforming old phone booths into digital kiosks — providing people with free Wi-Fi and charging stations in the process.

Hubble Contacts

In just one year since launch, Hubble Contacts has raised a total of $33.7 million.

Hello Alfred

Hello Alfred co-founders Marcela Sapone and Jessica Beck met while studying at Harvard Business School. Working in finance, both felt the pain of working long hours with little time for errands — so they started a company that would solve that. The subscription-based service helps with everything from laundry services to grocery shopping. With a few clicks of a button, everyday household chores can be taken care of.

Flip

Flip is the easiest way to sublet or get out of your lease, and it’s 100% free for listers.

Fevo

Fevo makes it easier than ever to bring people together for amazing live events.

Feather

Founded in 2017, furniture rental company Feather is making a name for itself in the e-commerce industry.

Ending thoughts on these New York startups

I know there are lots of other startups in New York. The city is so big that it would be quite hard to include them all in a single article. Yet, I’ll update this article frequently and add new ones.

If you enjoyed reading this article about New York startups, you should read these as well:

Analytics Tools That Startups Should Use

Startups in Amsterdam that you should keep an eye on

The post A list of cool startups in Seattle and their awesome websites appeared first on Design your way.

from Web Development & Designing https://www.designyourway.net/blog/web-design/startups-in-seattle/

4 Ways to Beat Facebook Organic Search Decline

Note: If you want to know the full context of why we believe Facebook has totally changed the game. Click here to zoom right down to the tips on how to win on Facebook Advertising, despite the constant updates.

The times are changing at Facebook. With content exploding on the social network at an exponential rate, the reins are tightening on users’ news feed experiences. The move is described by Facebook as an effort to improve user experience and increase interactivity.

Facebook has confidence that it knows what its users are most interested in, and it structures its newsfeeds accordingly. Facebook has long employed an algorithm to determine which stories appear in its users’ newsfeeds.

The inner workings of this algorithm are a mystery. But Facebook claims that the sole aim of the algorithm is to provide the best newsfeed experience possible and limit users’ interactions with unwanted content. Whatever Facebook’s intentions, for many users, the algorithm is a source of frustration.

In the recent hit indie film, Boyhood, the film’s naturally-aging protagonist, Mason (Ellar Coltrane), shows a great deal of concern about the dangers of modern information technology. In one scene, Mason wonders to his mother whether colleges might start using social media algorithms to determine ideal college roommate pairings. Mason’s concern is that society has begun to let information technology in general, and social media specifically, determine what and who we interact with. At least as far as Facebook’s practices go, Mason isn’t too far from the truth.

The content you interact with on Facebook is up to Facebook. Facebook gets to decide whether your cousin’s baby-shower photos show up on your newsfeed or not; and as bad as that seems, from a marketing perspective, the Facebook algorithm is an even bigger headache.

It’s important to realize that no matter how you structure your social media strategy, Facebook has complete control over what pieces of your content will be visible to your clients and patients. Recently, Facebook has come to the decision that the percentage of your posts your potential patients would like to see is somewhere very close to 0.

Let’s break this down…

Say your practice has created a fun, informative, interactive Facebook page filled with eye-catching photos, links, and videos. You’ve built a strong social media presence, accruing likes by the bucketful.

In an ideal world, the benefits of organic reach would kick in from there.

Your page’s likes would facilitate strong social network bonds between your followers. Your content would appear frequently on their newsfeeds, and your strategic offers and calls-to-action would draw them down the sales funnel.

Even better, your posts would accompany your followers back to their networks of friends, exposing your practice to a much broader field of clients and patients.

But we do not live an ideal world. Organic reach is on its way out.

At the peak of organic search, Facebook’s algorithm allowed visibility for about 60% of your content. That number subsequently dipped down to about 30%. These days, your content is only being seen by about 2% of your followers.

Graph provided by: ReGroup.usThis means that all the extra work that you’re doing, all the time you’re spending on clever and informational pitches – all of this is becoming a misuse of the valuable money and time that you put into marketing.

The days of getting a free lunch are over. Just ask food-delivery company Eat24. For Eat24, the dropoff in organic search was cause enough to abandon Facebook altogether. In a marketing ploy, Eat24 sent an amusing “break-up letter” to Facebook, including such highlights as:

“All we do is give, and all you do is take. We give you text posts, delicious food photos, coupons, restaurant recommendations… and what do you do in return? You take them and you hide them from all our friends.”

With a strategy based around organic reach, Eat24 couldn’t cut the pasta in the new Facebook system. But though organic search should now be looked at as a thing of the past, this does not mean that your practice doesn’t have a future on Facebook. All it means is that to succeed, your practice must adopt new strategies for reaching clients and patients.

So, what does this brave new world look like?

Essentially, to succeed in the new Facebook environment, you have to change your paradigm. Facebook is no longer a cool place to hang out and pick up friends and attention through organic methods. Facebook is now a public multimedia juggernaut that offers valuable, pay-to-play, advertising opportunities.

This seems like a good time for a metaphor.

Imagine Facebook in its early days as a hip new city park. With its natural appeal as a place to meet up and hangout, the park drew a lot of people. In time, businesses started to realize that they could reach potential clients by sending representatives into the park to interact with the common folk.

Months and years went by harmoniously. The park continued to add new features and attract more people and businesses maintained friendly relationships as a part of the crowd. But in an indiscernible moment, a tipping point was reached. The park became less of a fun hangout space, and more of a shouting match, everyone trying to slip a word in edgewise.

Seeing both that the opportunity for economic gain and the crumbling of its hip beginnings, park officials sprang into action. They sent rangers into the park to monitor unruly guests, and they set up sectioned-off booths for business representatives to occupy. These booths demanded financial investment from business owners, but it was a price that was worth paying to remain in the sightlines of the park’s numerous guests, even if the former direct contact was now limited.

Here are four marketing initiatives to aid in your adaptation to the future of Facebook:

1) Invest in Facebook real estate.

Joe McCaffrey, lead planner for social media at the digital agency Huge, explains that in this era your utilization of Facebook should be geared around getting clicks and impressions, rather than around social interaction.

McCaffrey compares Facebook to broadcast television. For your purposes, it’s now primarily a place where millions of eyes gather – eyes that could be getting exposure to your brand.

To connect back to our metaphor – even if you can’t directly connect with park-goers; it’s still better to be a visible presence in the park than to not be in the park at all. But it’s not just about being in the park, it’s about creating a positive impression.

2) Put your best foot forward.

Once you have invested in promoted posts and banner ads, it is crucial that you make the most of them.

Brand Networks lists several ideas about how to optimize your Facebook content. The key is to make your brand engaging and relevant.

From a layout perspective, this means employing high quality photos and links that are fitted to the ad space you are allotted.

From a content perspective, it means connecting to Facebook users in a real way. For example, let’s say there was a topical national news story about an injured athlete. A recent example that springs to mind is the shocking announcement of presumed NBA #1 draft pick, Joel Embiid’s, foot injury just a week before the draft. Find a way to reference things people know and care about. Not only will it draw interest, but it will prove to potential patients and clients that you are real people, not just marketing autobots.

In designing content, calls-to-action are also a crucial ingredient. Slap a “Learn More” or “Schedule an Appointment” button on your post and draw Facebook users directly into the sales funnel.

3) Target your Market!

A minute ago, we talked about how Facebook should be compared to network TV, in the sense that both provide the opportunity for your brand to be seen by millions of eyes. But luckily for you, Facebook provides tools that blow television out of the water.

Let’s say hypothetically, you manage an orthopedic practice. There are clearly potential clients who would be more interested in your services than others. Namely, we’re looking at athletes – high school athletes, college athletes, professional athletes, joggers, bikers, and don’t forget the middle-aged dads who show up for rec-league basketball every week. We’re also looking at parents of athletes, who, especially in the case of high school students, have more say about the administration of care.

Let Facebook work with you to establish forms of interruption marketing with your target demographics. Even without clicks, you will still be forming impressions in the minds of individuals who may require your services down the road.

4) Drop Some Cookies

Here’s some good news for you. Your influence in the lives of Facebook users does not end when they venture out from the social media platform to the far reaches of the world wide web.

Through a process known as remarketing, you can drop cookies onto the browsers of potential patients and clients. We’ve all experienced this. One search to confirm that the official boxed set of A Song of Ice and Fire is still well out of your price range, and all of the sudden Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin start popping up in all sorts of unexpected places.

Drop cookies and stay on the minds of your target market.

Other forms of this approach can happen when visitors come to your website. It is a very simple process to drop cookie for Re-Marketing / Re-Targeting on the users computer so that your banner ads follow them around for 30 – 45 days. To take it to the next level we recommend that your ads are hit your potential clients when they are at the right part of the buyers journey. For more information on buyers journeys, tune in next week. Our blog details out to convert more leads by understanding where your leads fall in the buyers journey.

Facebook still has a lot to offer to those who are willing to up their marketing game.

If you play your cards right, your name will be the first that pops into patients heads when it comes time for them to seek orthopedic care.

For more information on social media, please click get a free 1 hour marketing assessment.

The post 4 Ways to Beat Facebook Organic Search Decline appeared first on Farotech.

from https://farotech.com/blog/4-ways-beat-facebook-organic-search-decline/

from Farotech - Blog http://farotech.weebly.com/blog/4-ways-to-beat-facebook-organic-search-decline8754029

4 Ways to Beat Facebook Organic Search Decline

Note: If you want to know the full context of why we believe Facebook has totally changed the game. Click here to zoom right down to the tips on how to win on Facebook Advertising, despite the constant updates.

The times are changing at Facebook. With content exploding on the social network at an exponential rate, the reins are tightening on users’ news feed experiences. The move is described by Facebook as an effort to improve user experience and increase interactivity.

Facebook has confidence that it knows what its users are most interested in, and it structures its newsfeeds accordingly. Facebook has long employed an algorithm to determine which stories appear in its users’ newsfeeds.

The inner workings of this algorithm are a mystery. But Facebook claims that the sole aim of the algorithm is to provide the best newsfeed experience possible and limit users’ interactions with unwanted content. Whatever Facebook’s intentions, for many users, the algorithm is a source of frustration.

In the recent hit indie film, Boyhood, the film’s naturally-aging protagonist, Mason (Ellar Coltrane), shows a great deal of concern about the dangers of modern information technology. In one scene, Mason wonders to his mother whether colleges might start using social media algorithms to determine ideal college roommate pairings. Mason’s concern is that society has begun to let information technology in general, and social media specifically, determine what and who we interact with. At least as far as Facebook’s practices go, Mason isn’t too far from the truth.

The content you interact with on Facebook is up to Facebook. Facebook gets to decide whether your cousin’s baby-shower photos show up on your newsfeed or not; and as bad as that seems, from a marketing perspective, the Facebook algorithm is an even bigger headache.

It’s important to realize that no matter how you structure your social media strategy, Facebook has complete control over what pieces of your content will be visible to your clients and patients. Recently, Facebook has come to the decision that the percentage of your posts your potential patients would like to see is somewhere very close to 0.

Let’s break this down…

Say your practice has created a fun, informative, interactive Facebook page filled with eye-catching photos, links, and videos. You’ve built a strong social media presence, accruing likes by the bucketful.

In an ideal world, the benefits of organic reach would kick in from there.

Your page’s likes would facilitate strong social network bonds between your followers. Your content would appear frequently on their newsfeeds, and your strategic offers and calls-to-action would draw them down the sales funnel.

Even better, your posts would accompany your followers back to their networks of friends, exposing your practice to a much broader field of clients and patients.

But we do not live an ideal world. Organic reach is on its way out.

At the peak of organic search, Facebook’s algorithm allowed visibility for about 60% of your content. That number subsequently dipped down to about 30%. These days, your content is only being seen by about 2% of your followers.

Graph provided by: ReGroup.us This means that all the extra work that you’re doing, all the time you’re spending on clever and informational pitches – all of this is becoming a misuse of the valuable money and time that you put into marketing.

The days of getting a free lunch are over. Just ask food-delivery company Eat24. For Eat24, the dropoff in organic search was cause enough to abandon Facebook altogether. In a marketing ploy, Eat24 sent an amusing “break-up letter” to Facebook, including such highlights as:

“All we do is give, and all you do is take. We give you text posts, delicious food photos, coupons, restaurant recommendations… and what do you do in return? You take them and you hide them from all our friends.”

With a strategy based around organic reach, Eat24 couldn’t cut the pasta in the new Facebook system. But though organic search should now be looked at as a thing of the past, this does not mean that your practice doesn’t have a future on Facebook. All it means is that to succeed, your practice must adopt new strategies for reaching clients and patients.

So, what does this brave new world look like?

Essentially, to succeed in the new Facebook environment, you have to change your paradigm. Facebook is no longer a cool place to hang out and pick up friends and attention through organic methods. Facebook is now a public multimedia juggernaut that offers valuable, pay-to-play, advertising opportunities.

This seems like a good time for a metaphor.

Imagine Facebook in its early days as a hip new city park. With its natural appeal as a place to meet up and hangout, the park drew a lot of people. In time, businesses started to realize that they could reach potential clients by sending representatives into the park to interact with the common folk.

Months and years went by harmoniously. The park continued to add new features and attract more people and businesses maintained friendly relationships as a part of the crowd. But in an indiscernible moment, a tipping point was reached. The park became less of a fun hangout space, and more of a shouting match, everyone trying to slip a word in edgewise.

Seeing both that the opportunity for economic gain and the crumbling of its hip beginnings, park officials sprang into action. They sent rangers into the park to monitor unruly guests, and they set up sectioned-off booths for business representatives to occupy. These booths demanded financial investment from business owners, but it was a price that was worth paying to remain in the sightlines of the park’s numerous guests, even if the former direct contact was now limited.

Here are four marketing initiatives to aid in your adaptation to the future of Facebook:

1) Invest in Facebook real estate.

Joe McCaffrey, lead planner for social media at the digital agency Huge, explains that in this era your utilization of Facebook should be geared around getting clicks and impressions, rather than around social interaction.

McCaffrey compares Facebook to broadcast television. For your purposes, it’s now primarily a place where millions of eyes gather – eyes that could be getting exposure to your brand.

To connect back to our metaphor – even if you can’t directly connect with park-goers; it’s still better to be a visible presence in the park than to not be in the park at all. But it’s not just about being in the park, it’s about creating a positive impression.

2) Put your best foot forward.

Once you have invested in promoted posts and banner ads, it is crucial that you make the most of them.

Brand Networks lists several ideas about how to optimize your Facebook content. The key is to make your brand engaging and relevant.

From a layout perspective, this means employing high quality photos and links that are fitted to the ad space you are allotted.

From a content perspective, it means connecting to Facebook users in a real way. For example, let’s say there was a topical national news story about an injured athlete. A recent example that springs to mind is the shocking announcement of presumed NBA #1 draft pick, Joel Embiid’s, foot injury just a week before the draft. Find a way to reference things people know and care about. Not only will it draw interest, but it will prove to potential patients and clients that you are real people, not just marketing autobots.

In designing content, calls-to-action are also a crucial ingredient. Slap a “Learn More” or “Schedule an Appointment” button on your post and draw Facebook users directly into the sales funnel.

3) Target your Market!

A minute ago, we talked about how Facebook should be compared to network TV, in the sense that both provide the opportunity for your brand to be seen by millions of eyes. But luckily for you, Facebook provides tools that blow television out of the water.

Let’s say hypothetically, you manage an orthopedic practice. There are clearly potential clients who would be more interested in your services than others. Namely, we’re looking at athletes – high school athletes, college athletes, professional athletes, joggers, bikers, and don’t forget the middle-aged dads who show up for rec-league basketball every week. We’re also looking at parents of athletes, who, especially in the case of high school students, have more say about the administration of care.

Let Facebook work with you to establish forms of interruption marketing with your target demographics. Even without clicks, you will still be forming impressions in the minds of individuals who may require your services down the road.

4) Drop Some Cookies

Here’s some good news for you. Your influence in the lives of Facebook users does not end when they venture out from the social media platform to the far reaches of the world wide web.

Through a process known as remarketing, you can drop cookies onto the browsers of potential patients and clients. We’ve all experienced this. One search to confirm that the official boxed set of A Song of Ice and Fire is still well out of your price range, and all of the sudden Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin start popping up in all sorts of unexpected places.

Drop cookies and stay on the minds of your target market.

Other forms of this approach can happen when visitors come to your website. It is a very simple process to drop cookie for Re-Marketing / Re-Targeting on the users computer so that your banner ads follow them around for 30 – 45 days. To take it to the next level we recommend that your ads are hit your potential clients when they are at the right part of the buyers journey. For more information on buyers journeys, tune in next week. Our blog details out to convert more leads by understanding where your leads fall in the buyers journey.

Facebook still has a lot to offer to those who are willing to up their marketing game.

If you play your cards right, your name will be the first that pops into patients heads when it comes time for them to seek orthopedic care.

For more information on social media, please click get a free 1 hour marketing assessment.

The post 4 Ways to Beat Facebook Organic Search Decline appeared first on Farotech.

from SEO – Farotech https://farotech.com/blog/4-ways-beat-facebook-organic-search-decline/

18 - now we are serious because we have a tea kettle, citizen participation, ethics and other design lessons

This week Master of Design for Social Impact students explore power relations in urban planning, run prototype workshops, develop future speculation analysis, and start questioning ethics in design. Oh yea, and we finally got an electric tea kettle.

Thanks to Amy we finally have a kettle in our classroom. It was such a sweet communal gesture that it inspired a little sprucing up. Painted a corner shelf, got a lamp, folded some paper cubbies, cleaned with tea tree oil and voila! Come on in to our classroom in room 102 of the Paris College of Art. The space looks warm, friendly and downright hygge. Just in time too - no sooner said than bam! We're in Week 3 of the spring semester and thick into our studies.

We have this brilliant class Mondays and Fridays called Social and Urban Governance. In class we talking about power relations in urban actions and discuss Shelly Arnstein's A Ladder of Citizen Participation. I think back on a college internship on Capitol Hill with Congressman Serrano (NY-D, Bronx). I remember the work I did as a diplomat abroad. I think about governance theory and the fragmented ways in which government systems actually work. In all, I find myself thinking cynically (because I'm old enough to know better) but hoping fervently (because I'm also young enough to believe in change). I hope this class helps me dream about what design can impact in the urban/government sector.

Research and Methodology class in the afternoon turns into another writing workshops so we can develop our thesis outline. This week my research buddy Rica and I scribble all over our outlines. We are trying to make everything clean and easily understood. Our session dissolves into back-o-the-class laughter. Inevitable. I'm lucky to have Rica as my partner because he cracks up all the time. And for someone like me who takes things WAY too seriously it's one of the best reminders to chill out and enjoy the littles of life. 

I bustle home in the metro rush hour to skype John Shneider,  the cofounder of a company called 3DFuel. They make biodegradable filament for 3d printing from all kinds of bio-waste including beer, coffee, trash and hemp. https://www.3dfuel.com He's classic hipster in a Fargo warehouse. Kind, quick, eager. I'm nervous and I ask too many questions. He links me to a project where the brown coffee filament they make is actually helping to create prosthetic limbs in matching skin tones for kids. I check out the website. There's a lot of good in this world, eh? http://enablingthefuture.org/lend-a-hand/

Tuesday morning I wake up early with my partner's alarm clock. He's off to work. I'm off to the gym. I pump on the stationary bike, catch up on political comedy skits and see all the hype about the upcoming State of the Union speech back in the U.S.A. Political positions fascinate me as a beautiful and inevitable part of identity and culture. I cannot help wanting to know more - especially since I have so many colleagues and friends who continue to work the political/diplomatic ring.

Home again I set up a series of recipes that I'm testing for my edible packaging concept. I'm extrapolating lessons from raw food cuisine dehydrating to design sealable edible food packaging concepts. Some of my designs are downright wacky (check out this lattice weave of a banana peel plate). But that's part of the experimentation phase. I'm hoping to develop a catalogue of my different designs. But I'm certainly no chemist! Let's just see what happens. 

By Tuesday afternoon I am back in 3D Lab class practicing new tricks on Rhino. This semester we have three new classmates from the interior design degree and they are wizard-fast with the software. I feel silly with my rudimentary skills in comparison (last semester I barely worked out how to make a box print properly, see Week 14) but the goal is to just keep learning. Alessandro, who teaches the class (and just agreed to be my thesis advisor!) is hella patient. He reminds me that I can only get better.

Tuesday evening I create a photo shoot in my office/spare room and hang paper craft bits for a scene promoting my prototype creations. I spend a happy couple of hours cutting, glueing, arranging and testing the scene ready for the prototype. (It's still baking in the dehydrator.) I need to make a presentation that appeals to both adults and to children, so I decided that paper craft images could be an easy way to entice people into a whole new colorful and playful world. Plus, I can't help myself. It's so cute! Here’s how it turned out in post-edit. Ooh, and check out the facebook event for my upcoming artist residency at Living Lab: http://bit.ly/2DZhjxW

Wednesday morning I open up the dehydrator and pull out the newest prototypes that have been setting and dehydrating for 24 hours. They look good and I pack them into a box carefully and cross the city of Paris via metro to MakeSense headquarters. Once there Solene gives us an update presentation on the ways in which MakeSense is changing due in part from our class experience with their massive open online course (MOOC). They have fortified their programs for each volunteer level of participation. 

More interestingly they are trying to reconcile their blursing (blessing/curse) of being a vague international entity. "MakeSense is....tools? a playground? a social thing? a movement?" They've been able to survive on a whole range of descriptions precisely because MakeSense can be different things for different people. But now they are heading into a rebranding to simplify how they present themselves. Good luck, and go make sense of those things.

"Have you eaten yet?.....Would you like to have lunch with me?"    Its time for my mid-week, mid-day workshop testing my prototypes in the PCA gallery (aka student union space.) My workshops do triple duty: 1 - test how the packaging holds food  2 - test how the package gets handled by users 3 - compensate my workshop participants (students love free food) And since very few people know what I'm up to - it's a wonderfully confirming moment to watch their shock and surprise when they open the bag and pull out my packaging. Ta-da! It's confirming for me that there is a place for edible, compostable, biodegradable takeaway packaging in lieu of plastic.

Hanna reminds me later that food waste is also a problem that I exacerbate with my designs. And maybe my design is not circular at all since it doesn't become renewable material. She's absolutely right - I'll have to acknowledge that my packaging wastes food. I'll also have to figure out how to explain that it's not circular design, but it does have a circular mentality. I have to be smarter about my designs and keep trying to do better. Maybe there’s a way to use more food scraps in the design of my prototypes? Hmm...back to the drawing board. In the afternoon I head to the pool at Neuilly-Sur-Seine for a lengthy swim to clear my head. The water is heated and laps in the pool feel effortless. I find in France no matter the pool I go to and no matter the lanes I pick (and they have plaques reading from slow to fast), the entire pool is filled with leisure swimmers paddling around. Fascinating but frustrating. I try to leave a gap for the swimmer ahead of me, forget the workout and just enjoy the swim.

In our second SPROUT workshop session with Maurizio and Laureano Thursday afternoon we test our observant eye for signals. "Look at the next image for 10 seconds, no writing and then tell me what you see." And we learn to pay attention to visual information and to categorize and title each with a concept. We’re not trend-hunting here. We’re future forecasting. It goes beyond the "cool" and into future realities with a subjective point of view. One of the 20 slides shows a 3d printed ear floating in a glass cup of pink liquid. Another shows metallic medical tattoos printed on wrists. Yet another features cars that drive you according to your mental state and not your destination. Each slide makes me wonder what I know about the future. Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.

In Professional Practices later that night we meet Mathieu Merlet Briand, an artist who frames his work around the digital and technological perception of reality. He shows us his portfolio with marbelized glass created by algorithms of digital material [iceberg] to integrated iron sculptures on the loom [Google Dark Matter]. His generic advice "You will find a solution" sounds vague yet true. Sometimes all those questions we have cannot be answered, you just have to trust yourself to overcome that difficulty when it arises. At home again I watch a documentary called Urbanized (2011) as homework while munching dinner. It showcases the plight of urban planners, politicians, residents, city-dwellers, etc. The documentary highlights 12 different cities and the social impact created or ignored based on planning. I think about all the places I've lived in city-wide project launches. Luanda's marginal construction, London's empty olympic city, Buenos Aires 9 de Julio bus. Design is integral to social impact in city planning. It feels more grounded to finally study practical applications that affect people’s day to day lives in an architectural way.  Friday afternoon we skype Thomas Watkin for Social and Urban governance class - this time about "What is public?" We compare our insights on the readings/documentaries and then talk about how to make a project public. How do you design a public space that allows people access? Allows them to be an audience? Allows an environment that fosters sharing? Its part of understanding the conditions laid out by Kevin Lynch in building Image of the City. We look at fun graphs showing walking spaces, architectural spaces, and public transportation studies. I leave just a little bit early for a private meeting in the gallery hallway of PCA's entrance. Her name is Emilie Prattico and she clips her words with a slight British accent but has a very down-to-earth conversational speech style. She's our professor for Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibilities. I pose a question to her about how to design without using necessarily Human Centered Design (HCD). To me, HCD doesn't seem to be proactively supporting environmental needs. She pivots my question and asks why not include environment when considering an optimal human experience? I'm intrigued but not convinced I understand. I see so much displacement of nature in pursuit of human interests that I struggle to make sense of what is ok and what is not. And how do we know that we are doing ok when only hindsight is 20/20? More questions, less answers....sigh.

We climb the stairs and enter the classroom. A quick shuffle of papers (we have about 5 minutes between one class and the next in the evenings.) We spend the first rounds of conversation talking about our program, what we're doing and what were are studying. Emilie works full time and she teaches on the side. She confirms that she is passionate - Friday night/Saturday all-day classes means that all of us will have to be committed too. Considering my question earlier, I feel grateful that we’re finally talking about the ethical issues. When class lets out early Rica invites everyone out to eat at a tiny Italian place around the corner from his place. Pizza? Yes. The music bips in the background, sourdough bread wafting, and we wait impatiently for our orders. We scarf down dinner while talking about Palermo, Italy (Hanna has a new job there potentially), New Zealand (Vaila is considering doing some back-packing), and Berlin, Germany (Rica is intending on going straight back to his company who he desperately misses.) I'll be in Paris for the foreseeable future. But you never know where a project might take you, eh? Saturday morning I head to the gym with my partner. I love lifting weights and he's a great gym partner. Doesn't yell, doesn't compete. Just does his bit and helps me when I ask for it. I love working out together. I shower at the gym and then head right back to PCA where we have a second lecture in Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibility. We go through a slide deck, watch a documentary, talk about theory, watch conference lectures on Youtube, talk some more, and of course, have some tea. Here's the quotes I pulled from our conversation in our ethic class: "theory can be a bummer" "your experience of your values is NOT the same thing as your values" "if you blindly accept then you give up your rights" "now you have tools to analyze very complex problems that arrive" "what you do with the lenses is to focus on different parts of the situation" "we generate reason from rational discourse with each other. Doesn't come from on high, doesn't come from a book. Everyone generates it through dialogue that is honest, equal, respectful..."

Afterwards, I walk into drizzles of rain towards the canals of St. Martin. I'm meeting my partner for noodles at Tien Hiangs. This place is always hopping, but class ended early and we're able to make it before the rush comes through at 20h. A vegan bowl of pho, a gorgeous basket of dumplings and my darling partner to share it with! What more can a girl ask for? 

Sunday is studying, reading, writing, etc. I jump through 17 new articles related to composting, recycling, packaging, plastic, etc. I'm drowning in sources but I still cannot get enough to capture all the information I'll need. I'm sending in today my first draft of the thesis. I know it will go through many revisions, but I want it to be as close to finished as possible. This whole month of February is going to squeeze us like a sausage factory. Both Social and Urban Governance and Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibility are front-loaded so that we finish the course requirements March-ish. This would give us time to create our thesis and individual projects afterwards, except that due dates are also front-loaded so that our thesis are due in early April. So right now it feels rushed and hectic, but it will slow down as the weather gets better and as the semester winds down.    Just gotta keep on track...which reminds me I feel like going for a run. It would be a nice way to rinse out my mind this Sunday afternoon.  A long run always feels good. So I head to the neighborhood athletic track with my partner. We bounce on the rubber path and fall into rhythm of step. Just gotta keep on track and moving forward. 

SMarti out.

Natter #5  4th July 2020

MI MG Natter #5 4th July 2020I hope you all have had a happy fourth - all fingers still attached and tummies filled. Pickle seems to be getting used to the bangs this year, or perhaps he is a little deaf. Usually, at the first bang, he disappears and hides under my bed. This time he has wandered upstairs and downstairs and doesn't seem to register the bangs much at all - which is good. I am in contact with a guy back home who runs a regular allotment (PeaPatch here) blog, giving timely advice and other information related mostly to veggie & fruit culture. I find this very helpful as he jogs my memory on those extremely rare occasions when I forget. I know you think that I never forget, but I have to admit that there has been the occasional lapse ever since I stopped eating peanuts. Strange that. His words for July remind us that this month is the time to sow seeds for Fall and Winter veggie crops such as Chicory (does anybody actually grow this?), Chinese Cabbage, Kohl Rabi, Lettuce, French Beans, Beetroot, Carrots, Radish, Turnips, and Peas - pick early varieties - early Snow peas are especially fast to crop. If you have had the forethought to already start Leeks from seed, now is the time to plant out those starts. The easiest way to do this is to use an old broomstick handle and thrust it vertically into the soil to a depth of about 5-6". Just drop the seedlings, roots first into the holes and then just water in - that's all you need to do. The water will wash soil from the sides of the holes down onto the roots and it will remain cool and moist enough to thoroughly root the seedlings well. The idea of doing it this way, apart from the ease of planting and gaining support from the sides, is that the hole blanches the stem of the leek as it grows to gain more usable parts of the plant. If they are kept reasonably moist they should grow quite rapidly through the Summer and be ready to make fabulous potato-leek soup in time to keep cold days at bay. If you have never eaten P-L soup accompanied by chunks of Crusty artisan bread generously spread with butter - you haven't lived. Food of the Gods this! If you have been growing spuds and have lifted them already, you can follow with a crop of French beans to both nourish yourself and the soil, or if beans aren't your thing try a green manure crop such as Mustard. However, bear in mind that if you have ever had Club Root on your cabbage family plants, do not use Mustard as it is also a brassica. Use one of the Pea family, both for the Nitrogen root boost, but also for the foliage. And now for something completely different:- Once more my friend Valerie Robertson has presented her view on things English on the other side of the pond. From: Valerie Robertson GAG 14 Hope all is well with all. All Quiet in the Western Front over this way. Seattle’s CHOP was liberated leaving an appalling mess The pubs are open  today so the protesters have disappeared. BLMUK. is proving to be an embarrassment to those who donated, bent the knee and supported a cause that advocates the abolition of the nuclear family (that means dad is superfluous) defund the police,  destroy capitalism and support censorship plus the necessity for every white person to acknowledge that they are all subconsciously racist and privileged., and own up to that every institution is inherently racist and disproportionally  White supremacy managed. That’s a big ask, which has bewildered the millionaire black footballers, academics, artists,   Labour leader Sir Keith what’s his name,  and all the national institutions taking the knee, which the other men in the street saw, as bowing to street fighter activists outrageous demands. Ie supporting racial divide and suppressing diversity of opinions and abolishing history. Our moral leader Canterbury Arch Runcton, is also confused. He’s a woke bloke that got it wrong at Easter. Streaming his Easter service from his kitchen with his toaster in the background. For God's sake, he must have a parlour with a row of books as a backdrop, in his palatial abode. He’s now having a think about the effigies in the Cathedral and wondering which ones to get rid of. Should he paint Jesus black?  Jesus loves all the children of the world, be they yellow black or white. What about the brown ones?  They were precious in His sight too? He’s going to need a lot of colours. The Bournemouth beach sunbathing nutters are bright pink still. The Cambridge academia have just funded a two-year study into the history of slavery to enable the oiks to confront their iniquitous past and say sorry to all offended by history. Waste of time, as it’s been done before, over and over and you can’t change it. I’ve got a better idea for them to study.   Research the Benin bronzes. There are 3,OOO of them but only 500 left in Nigeria, the rest in  Europe and USA museums. They are exquisite. The Portuguese kicked off the Atlantic slave trade in 1400 from the port of Benin with gold, which the Africans turned into these fantastic plaques, I think but not sure. I’m too busy doing my epidemic virus studies to go to the British Museum and find out. And we are not allowed yet, to visit Portugal unless keen enough to fly to Spain and walk across the border to check up on the museum artifacts in Lisbon. It’s good to see Lewis Hamilton constructively addressing inequality in the motor racing world.  The aggrieved black community can be placated and inspired by their own incredibly successful race if they listen. We have diversity, we have opportunity, we have laws, education, healthcare, social services, state welfare funding and overall, a tolerant multicultural society, who are very tired of the woke political correct champagne socialists agenda over the last decade.  There are deep social and economic injustices which are nothing to do with slavery or racial prejudice. Louis Hamilton lives in Monte Carlo to save paying a hefty U.K. income tax liability. He was raised in Stevenage and lived in a council house with his family partially supported by the welfare state. Is he a philanthropist who promotes the welfare of others by donating money for schools etc.? No he’s not if he’s a British citizen tax evader. Is he a Monacoan now.? Is he a hypocrite? I don’t know?  Perhaps the academics can ask the uni students to research,  write a paper and make up their own minds. Estate agents will not in future be using Master Bedroom in their ads. Connotations of slave masters etc. Uncle Bens rice is to be repackaged without the jolly black man and awaiting more news re. MasterCard, Master chef, Master Mind, Headmaster ( the lefty teachers union still keeping schools shut) Masters degree, a tricky one for Cambridge. We are living with the virus and hanging in with our self-imposed restrictions and socially distancing. The copper masks and latex gloves worked a treat when John needed to visit the GP surgery for a blood test to check prostate antigen level insomuch not coughing. Although London has seen a slight rise in the R rate, no doubt due to the mass protests, the infection rate remains stable and patients being more successfully treated with drugs, to avoid intensive care. The disproportionate ethnic infected is due to blood group, genetic disparity, and body mass ratio, and a difference in the percentage of T cells. These cells decline with age and are responsible for fighting off infection without causing a major autoimmune response. People past 65, have very few left.   This theory explains why the young can come in contact with the virus but don’t succumb, however, if repeatedly exposed will catch it and manufacture antibodies and can still remain asymptomatic. Mass testing suggests that 40 percent of the population has been exposed with few symptoms, the silent spreaders who have the herd immunity. So we know the virus is still around and can’t trust the idiots to self-isolate if positive. All we can hope for is that they wear a mask and keep away from the elderly. Once the herd immunity and those who have recovered from it reach 60 percent, providing the medically vulnerable and fatties avoid it, the virus will find no host, cannot, therefore, multiply and shed and theoretically die away.  So it’s a balance. As the months go on there is hope for  more preventive medication to alleviate the symptoms and of course a vaccine. Last October, the WHO  found that U.K. and USA  were the best in the world prepared for a pandemic.  Cameron had placed an order for millions of PPE equipment with a French company with the deposit to fund the manufacturer to make it.  By the time U.K. needed it, we got the deposit refunded but the stocks were needed in France and they had sold some items at a higher price,  to Italy.  That’s Globalisation for you and the free market. Meanwhile, a couple who were distilling boutique gin in the midlands, altered their equipment to distill hand sanitizers and viral cleansing fluids as NHS  were buying it in from abroad at an inflated price. They now supply the NHS cheaply and in the past 12 weeks have made 30 million pounds profit. Well done as they are donating a substantial amount to Covid research. No doubt as a tax saving incentive, but still commendable. There’s a lot to be said for self-reliance.  The govt. with its 80 strong SAGE - the scientific, advisory government epidemic advisors, have caused the pandemonium. At the outset, the models and graphs predicting the scale have been proved wrong. Simple precautions were overlooked.  Emptying geriatric wards, filling up care homes with staff untrained in infection control was scandalous. Mask wearing should have been made compulsory on public transport, supermarkets and shops at the outset and at least some sort of temperature checking and contact tracing at airports and ferries. So,  on to local lockdowns and long term containment.  Boris is getting on with Brexit and left Hanlon to contain the virus,  Hope the strategy works. I have faith in the laboratory’s scientists and the trials and the guinea pigs testing the emerging vaccines. Meanwhile, tomatoes coming along, being well-nourished and in good shape and we are up to four playing again at croquet. Sainsbury delivering without hassle and Miles and Giles still surprising me with a tablespoon of Baharat in a nifty environment-friendly container. It made the lamb taste different. The kennels are open but missed the boat as all the  rescue dogs are  adopted and long waiting lists for puppies. A dog called Nigger, I imagine a black or brown Labrador,  who was loved and died in 1878, had a headstone in the animal cemetery in a  Sussex village graveyard. The local stonemason has ground away the name as the villagers thought it might cause offence to visitors and that dogs owners would understand as they were dead anyway and not around to ask permission. Just love kind people. The drought's over and it’s cool as we are and hope you are too. Take care Love from Val And from your fearless leader,Gordon