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aseriesofunfortunatetexts · 7 months

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asoue + tumblr, special anxiety disorder edition

#josephine anwhistle #larry your waiter #charles #jerome squalor #hector #babs #lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue edit #text post meme #a couple of these are open for debate #particular about Larry and Lemony #obviously book!Lemony is by his own account a coward #Larry has several moments of extreme bravery but he's also has some severe anxiety issues going on #hence his inclusion in this #throw me an ask if you have something to add or want to disagree with my assessments

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free-my-boy-grumbot · 1 year

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made a series of unfortunate events quiz to feed the brain worms. enjoy :]

ALSO i wanna know if these quizzes are actually accurate at all so tell me if im right in thr tags

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #uquiz #cameron monologues #klaus baudelaire #violet baudelaire #esme squalor #count olaf #montgomery montgomery #josephine anwhistle #hector asoue #hal asoue #fernald #phil asoue

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unfortunatetheorist · 2 months

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The Complete Works of Contradictory Logic in ASOUE: Volume I (Quote Debunk 10)

Part 5 - The Wide Window S1 E5

01:27 - "Good evening, and welcome to Lachrymose News, where things that are happening keep happening until they stop."

Doesn't that happen on every single news channel?

02:04 - "...some very nice people were poisoned. But first, the weather."

Why would you do that?! Important thing UNDER unimportant thing?!

03:25 to 04:23 - Just the whole scene, really. But particularly the piece towards the middle:

"He's a thief and a murderer and so far has completely escaped capture. But I have the thing that just might turn things around - peppermints!"

Yeah. What an idiot.

And also:

"You can eat them in the taxi on the way to meet your dowager aunt."

"What's that?"

"Oh, Violet, I'm surprised at you. A girl your age should know that a taxi is a car that takes you someplace for a reasonable fee."

N.B. Josephine's fears are irrational, yes, but do not count as contradictory, as viewers can easily pick up on their lack of rationale.

25:00 - "It is not a date, necessarily. It's just two adults sharing quality time together over toasted rye bread and runny yolks." ¬ J.A.

I think Josephine needs to re-read the dictionary - isn't that the definition of a date?!

26:43 - "I remember it as if it were yesterday; although it was only a few hours ago."

Not quite contradictory enough to count, this is just an example of Handler's brilliant language manipulation/zeugma.

29:05 - "That's just how it happened with my husband!" - J.A.

"That wasn't pasta" - Captain Scam, I mean, Sham

"I lost my husband to the Lachrymose Leeches." ¬ Josephine

"Good heavens! I had absolutely no idea! I swear!" ¬ Olaf

No idea, huh, Olaf? Then how did you know it wasn't pasta?

29:14 - (same scene)

"I've never even heard of your husband, Ike." - Bald Man

How do you know his name if you've never heard of him?!

More to come,

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph

#asoue #lemony snicket #vfd #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #asoue netflix #count olaf #the wide window #tcwocl #the complete works of contradictory logic #the baudelaires #josephine anwhistle #ike anwhistle #i can whistle #irrational fearing lady

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afterthegreatunknown · 1 month

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just think about it

Gregor: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Josephine: What?

Ike: What?

Hector: What?

Widdershins: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation about Queequeg from Moby Dick* I'm glad you asked, aye!

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #gregor anwhistle #josephine anwhistle #ike anwhistle #hector asoue #hector #captain widdershins #incorrect quotes #(i said it before and i'll say it again: i think it's very possible queequeg is widdershins' blorbo)

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linguistics-and-such · 7 months

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"Here," Captain Sham said, pulling a small card out of his pocket and handing it to Aunt Josephine. "Take my business card, and next time you're in town perhaps we could enjoy a cup of tea."

"That sounds delightful," Aunt Josephine said, reading his card. '"Captain Sham's Sailboats. Every boat has it's own sail.' Oh, Captain, you have made a very serious grammatical error here."

"What?" Captain Sham said, raising his eyebrow.

"This card says 'it's,' with an apostrophe. I-T-apostrophe-S always means 'it is.' You don't mean to say 'Every boat has it is own sail.' You mean simply I-T-S, 'belonging to it.' It's a very common mistake, Captain Sham, but a dreadful one."

- A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window

I know that prescriptive grammarians are douches, but this exchange never fails to make me laugh. XD

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue #count olaf #josephine anwhistle #prescriptive grammar #lol

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a-series-of-fluff-events · 2 months

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Side-blog for Lemony Snicket's ASOUE (will add the other books when I read them, which is hopefully soon), centring on giving our characters a well-deserved happy ending.

Maybe angst, maybe not, but I'm going to make the Baudelaire children happy, along with a few AUs, memes and Headcanons!

Btw, Free Palestine.

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miriel-therindes · 1 year

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sugar bowl gen class photo at prufrock prep for @larryy0urwaiter for @asouefanworkevent <3

(i'm still learning to draw so i'm afraid this isn't very good, but I hope you like it!)

#wicked way exchange #asoue #snicketverse #esme squalor #r duchess of winnipeg #beatrice baudelaire #frank denouement #earnest denouement #georgina orwell #count olaf #kit snicket #jacques snicket #bertrand baudelaire #josephine anwhistle #lemony snicket #my doodles

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aseriesofunfortunatetexts · 8 months

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asoue + tumblr

#lemony snicket #quigley quagmire #klaus baudelaire #charles #josephine anwhistle #ernest denouement #frank denouement #esmé squalor #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue edit #text post meme

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free-my-boy-grumbot · 1 year

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rushed edit but i just had the epiphany of my life

#count olaf #henry viii #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #esme squalor #josephine anwhistle #aunt josephine #kit snicket #georgina orwell #madame lulu #babs asoue #cameron monologues

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badlydrawndrawnings · 2 months

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Even More ASOUE Characters (Still The Adults)

And the Beatles Songs I Can't Help But Associate Them With, Part Two.

Montgomery 'Monty' Montgomery, Penny Lane (~Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs/Of every head he's had the pleasure to know/And all the people that come and go/Stop and say, "Hello"~)

Josephine Anwhistle, Octopus's Garden (~We would be so happy you and me/No one there to tell us what to do/I'd like to be under the sea/In an octopus' garden with you~)

Isaac 'Ike' Anwhistle, Here Comes the Sun (~Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces/Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here~)

Gregor Anwhistle, Strawberry Fields Forever (~Let me take you down/'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields/Nothing is real/And nothing to get hung about/Strawberry Fields Forever~)

Hector, Blackbird (~Blackbird singing in the dead of night/Take these broken wings and learn to fly/All your life/You were only waiting for this moment to arise~)

Madame Lulu, Tomorrow Never Knows (~Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream/It is not dying, it is not dying/Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void/It is shining, it is shining~)

Olivia Caliban, I'm Only Sleeping (~Keeping an eye on the world going by my window/Taking my time/Lying there and staring at the ceiling/Waiting for a sleepy feeling~)

R the Duchess of Winnipeg, Boys^ as cover by The Beatles [~My girl says when I kiss her lips/Get a thrill through her fingertips] + I Want to Hold Your Hand* (~Oh please, say to me/You'll let me be your man/And please, say to me/You'll let me hold your hand/You'll let me hold your hand/I want to hold your hand~)

^Originally a song by The Shirelles about how a girl feels about boys, I picked the cover version for R because given the irony about a man (Ringo, who sings the cover) singing about boys, I feel there's more irony by associating the cover with R, an implied canon lesbian, by changing the context of the cover: a woman who loves women 'singing' about the boys her lover dated/kissed before.

*Given that a cover version of I Want to Hold Your Hand appears in the movie Across the Universe (2007) with change of context being about a female's singer unrequited love for her female friend who is straight, I couldn't help myself but associate the song with R.

Captain Widdershins, The Fool on the Hill (~Day after day/Alone on a hill/The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still/But nobody wants to know him/They can see that he's just a fool/And he never gives an answer~) + (~But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down/And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round~)

Fernald, Hey Jude (~And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain/Don't carry the world upon your shoulders/For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool/By making his world a little colder) + (~Hey Jude, don't make it bad/Take a sad song and make it better/Remember to let her under your skin/Then you'll begin to make it/Better, better, better, better, better, better, oh!~)

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afterthegreatunknown · 7 months

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another random post about headcanons of mine for some asoue characters...their neftlix’s counterparts, that is:

netflix!mrs. quagmire is a quagmire by blood, with her mother being a former denouement. this makes netflix!mrs.quagmire a cousin to denouments. her full name is angela margot quagmire (as for why i picked angela, angela is isadora duncan’s actual first name).

netflix!mr. quagmire married into the quagmire family. his full name is quincy george oscar, nee bluth (george oscar bluth is a reference to the actor’s role on arrested development).

angela was once a pilot/aviator, but by asoue she’s a pilot/aviator instructor. angela uses her skills whenever on vfd missions though, because somehow, it’s always needed at one point.

quincy is an attorney. a defense lawyer in fact, and always has the luck of getting his always innocent’s clients a not guilty verdict, and getting justice strauss as the judge on his cases.

netflix!gregor was the original sugar bowl(tm) owner. he gave the sugar bowl(tm) to esme, believing she can keep it safe (being rich and beautiful, no one will suspect her). gregor needing it back for his research more or less help pave way to opera night(tm) and the schism itself.

netflix!ike has a small collection of hats, ever since he was a child. his favorite hat is the cowboy hat.

netflix!josephine was a j.s. prior to her marriage (maiden name is seymour). josephine considered keeping her maiden name after marrying ike, but she grew fond of the anwhistle surname.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #netflix asoue #asoue netflix #mrs. quagmire #mr. quagmire #gregor anwhistle #ike anwhistle #josephine anwhistle #headcanons

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mincentmango · 2 years

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here's some Series of Unfortunate Events VFD members (from before the schism) incorrect quotes cause I recently rewatched the series :)

characters included: Josephine Anwhistle, Beatrice Baudelaire, Bertrand Baudelaire, Monty Montgomery, Gustav Sebald, Jacques Snicket, Kit Snicket, Lemony Snicket, Larry Your Waiter, and Count Olaf. (sorry if i've missed anyone!)

Colour Thingy (mainly for me to remember while writing this)

Josephine , Beatrice , Bertrand , Monty , Gustav , Jacques , Kit , Lemony , Larry , Olaf

(yes there will be jacques x larry content here they were in love and i will die trying to prove it. (there will also be lemony x beatrice here because i love them with my whole heart.))

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Bertrand: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

Larry: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Bertrand: So blurple.

Larry: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Bertrand: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

Larry: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

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Olaf: I'm totally useless :(

Jacques: You're not totally useless.

Jacques: You can be used as a bad example.

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Beatrice: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Kit's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

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Larry: Jacques is playing hard to get.

Larry: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

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Lemony, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

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Josephine: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Josephine: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Joesphine: I also want to softhack his circuits.

Kit: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

to be continued :)

----

Olaf: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Olaf: Not all this "how dif you get into my house" business.

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Monty: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!! *aggressively throws water bottles*

Kit: Uh... what's up with him?

Gustav: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Monty: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!

Larry, crying: It's working.

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Jacques and Lemony: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Lemony: WE NEED AN ADULT!

Jacques: Lemony, YOU ARE AN ADULT.

Lemony: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT!! GET KIT.

----

Kit: I have a problem..

Olaf: Kill it.

Kit: Can you chill for like, two seconds??

----

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue incorrect quotes #incorrect asoue quotes #incorrect quotes #josephine anwhistle #beatrice baudelaire #bertrand baudelaire #montgomery montgomery #gustav sebald #jacques snicket #kit snicket #lemony snicket #larry your waiter #count olaf #vfd #volunteer fire department

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beatricebidelaire · 5 months

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there are total three (3) times during the meeting in the unauthorized autobiography where someone interrupts another person mid-sentence. once where R interrupts M, and twice where J interrupts R. also, the fact that there are 2Ms, 2Js, and 2Rs at the meeting complicate things a little.

that said, i lean towards that the M here is Monty is because of mention of Gustav. R could possibly be duchess R or 9-year-old R, but perhaps the duchess would have more opinions and insights on a sculpture garden? but also, maybe a 9-years-old is more likely to interrupt someone, especially compared to someone who holds the role of a duchess?

this is where J interrupts R. this R is duchess R because 9-year-old R was just talking previously and then the duchess says she agrees with 9-year-old R. notice how Lemony jumps to R's defense and says "let her finish" and R says "i will finish".

here J interrupts R again. since this is only a sentence away from the previous occurrence (the only thing in between was that K said "and extinguished" in between R's long speech), it seems logical to assume that this part of conversation is mainly held between the selected few - and if J interrupted R once, it's probably more likely the same J did it again.

so, technically there's nothing saying the one who interrupted R the first time is Jacques, although "we get permission first" is something that the fandom has long attributed to Jacques.

on the other hand, even if people generally lean towards to portray Jacques as the most loyal to VFD out of all snicket siblings, all evidences are still circumstantial, technically. because tua's all initials. the recruitment letter's J is also initially only.

tbh, we see Jacques's letter to Jerome in tua how he talk about the reason "why people should never get tattoos", and personally i lean towards the interpretation that J's search for L is not quite vfd-sanctioned but something he conducts on his own. anyway this is all very blurry and i would probably still guess that the first time J interrupts R, the J is Jacques, if it comes down to it.

that said, correction of "disguise kit" already being mentioned - does this count as a grammar correction? is saying A, B, C, D, B, E, and F grammatically correct because B is mentioned twice? is that a thing? even if not a grammar error, would someone who cares about grammar mention this? you can see where i'm going with this.

curiously enough, if the second J in the meeting is Josephine, then between Jacques and Josephine i would have put Jacques as the secretary. even if maybe VFD would prefer to have secretary with proper grammar. so maybe Josephine is the secretary. i guess Jacques just gives me the vibes of being able to properly masquerade as one.

something else worth considering is that it's a very long list that R's listing, and remembering everything that's mentioned sounds like not an easy task. if someone is able to catch this detail / this error, then it would most likely be the secretary, who is transcribing the meeting as they talk. and then i'll have to go back to my earlier musings that there's nothing say Jacques can't be the secretary, although there is also nothing saying that he definitely is. i think?

#The Meeting #the unauthorized autobiography #monty montgomery #r duchess of winnipeg #r (9 year old)#josephine anwhistle #jacques snicket #vera.txt

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meetmeinthe-cosmos · 2 years

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