#ive lived 22 years hating them.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voigtvir · 1 month

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guys i am so ridiculously happy that i learned i really like tomatoes

#ive lived 22 years hating them....#but i made roasted tomatoes in order to make a like. bruschetta but also kinda caprese thing #and i ate half of the tomatoes on their own bc i made too many #and they were delicious...#roasted grape tomatoes... u will be my veggie savior #u and bell peppers #+ spinach and lettuce if u count those idk those are leafs. n e ways my safe veggies

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im-traumatised · 1 year

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Not sure anyone noticed, but I've not been around much cause my phone broke. Been waiting for the new one to arrive, and I forget desktop Tumblr exists a lot... But I'm alive I guess, in the technical sense anyway...

#It accidentally fell off my bed #got a small crack and now the screen won't show anything #fucking grand time considering the day after my headphones also broke #i ducktaped them back together though becuase the thought of leaving my apartment made my panic lmao #then the same day I found rats in my apartment and man im having a shit time being an adult lately #my savings are being eaten im living with rats im terrified will eat my things and Im really starting to realise #just how bad my aversion to leaving my apartment has gotten #tired of being an adult #tired of having no money #tired of being alone #just tired #but im still alive i guess #just waiting with dread for my 22nd birthday next month that i dont want to arrive #first time ive truly hated the thought of my birthday man its kinda sad #always been so determined to make my bday good even if its always ended up depressing and with me crying at night alone but like #this year im struggling to even want to try i dont want to turn 22 i dont want to still be kicking ya know #sorry this turned dark #although pretty sure noones actually read this far lmao #still #...#aceofdragons

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sparklev0id · 2 years

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i am so responsible and functional and did not just waste hours on my phone instead of going and doing the really important thing i was supposed to do

#im great at being an adult actually #so so good #im glaf shes not disappointed but i still feel like a stupid baby #i hate this #i hate being like this #im supposed to be getting better and like i am and i see it but its still so slow. im still so scared #it shouldnt be this scary #i shouldnt still be comparing myself to everyone else but i cant help it why is it so much easier for them #im almost fucking 22 years old #it gets more humiliating every fucking day #everything i want to be is everything im not #everything i pretend to be #and like i knooowww people are always like 'everyone grows at their own pace uwu ur not alone uwu' but when i say everyone i mean #everyone In My Life. everyone i see around me and interact with #it doesnt make a difference to hear about some random theoretical person with my same problems when all ive actually experienced #is people doing better than me #it feels like ill never catch up #and i know theres no one 'right way' to live your life either #but i just want to feel good enough #i just want people to stop pitying me. i want to take care of myself

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thatfeelinwhenyou · 9 months

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KINDRED — yang jungwon

It’s your final year of highschool, and your only goal is to graduate top of your cohort, as usual. Except as student council president, your advisor can’t seem to leave you alone. What happens when you take Decelis Academy’s top student, their star taekwondo athlete and put them in front of a camera?

“Kindred” a student documentary. Pilot episode airing tonight on TVN 7PM KST.

PAIRING: athlete!jungwon x stucopres!fem!reader

FEATURING: enhypen, yunjin from lesserafim, ryujin and chaeryeong from itzy, chanelle from runext, beomgyu and taehyun from txt, wonyoung from ive, gunwook and gyuvin from zb1 etc.

GENRE: high school au, enemies to lovers, nerd x athlete, forced proximity, slice of life, coming of age, he fell first and harder, fluff, ANGST, teen drama, slow burn ish?

WARNINGS: contains profanities, horrible attempt at humour, urban lingo, probably cringy, kys/kms jokes, depression jokes, sexual innuendos (nothing too inappropriate), depiction of violence, family drama, incorrect timestamps/information, no fixed faceclaims, not proofread etc.

STATUS: completed! (01/09/2023 – 18/03/2024)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: please read! story concept is heavily inspired by the kdrama ‘our beloved summer’ other than that the storyline is completely original (or so i assume since i manifested this out from the crevices of my pea brain). chapters with ‘(hw)’ next to them indicates that they are half-written, in case y’all skip over it! as always, the content and depiction of the characters in this smau do not in anyway represent them in real life. lastly, if you do end up enjoying, please do like, comment (love reading your comments btw), and reblog so this can reach!! without further ado, enjoy!

TAGS: #tfwy kindred #tfwy smau

TEASER

profile. one | two | three

episode 1 - ratatouille and the underdogs

episode 2 - one way ticket to university

episode 3 - do you take constructive criticism?

episode 4 - unsolicited but appreciated

episode 5 - the art of benevolence

episode 6 - taekwondo-anti

episode 7 - beating the mentally ill allegations

episode 8 - can’t help it, i’m a libra

episode 9 - operation we-don’t-really-hate-each-other (hw)

episode 10 - she’s an oscar award winning actress

episode 11 - someone like me (hw)

episode 12 - ‘female-lead-realising-the-bad-boy-isnt-actually-that-bad’ arc

episode 13 - 5 foot 9 garfield meets avatar

episode 14 - yn the heterosexual

episode 15 - the ynwon getting closer montage :p

episode 16 - to the moon and back

episode 17 - eat 2 left toes

episode 18 - you are approved! (hw)

episode 19 - asking for a friend

episode 20 - rediscovering won’s ability to love

episode 21 - beomgyu’s 99999 eq

episode 22 - ynwon get together or else >:(

episode 23 - “hate”

episode 24 - not all problems can be solved with a formula

episode 25 - H.O.M.E.W.R.E.C.K.E.R

episode 26 - collecting facebook milfs like pokémons

episode 27 - you were brighter than the moon (hw)

episode 28 - she's studious not stupid

episode 29 - the garden is full of surprises (hw)

episode 30 - weapon of mass destruction

episode 31 - the name above me (hw)

episode 32 - no offense but she’s a cockblocker

episode 33 - the bane of my existence (hw)

episode 34 - risky risky wiggy wigi this is an emergency

episode 35 - live my life on my terms (hw)

episode 36 - separation anxiety goes crazy

episode 37 - paparizzki

episode 38 - is it too late now to say Sorry?

episode 39 - everything will work out just the way you want it to (hw)

episode 40 (finale) - her entire being is loveable (written)

epilogue - kindred, signing off part 1 | part 2

bonus chapters!

yunjin x heeseung

i can fight

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queenie-blackthorn · 7 months

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in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)

kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.

also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all

tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?

ive died two times in my life so far.

the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.

the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.

i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.

and then i died again.

this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.

it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning

i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:

im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?

so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.

and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.

i was reborn.

at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:

i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed

i finished about six chapters of my book

i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head

i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked

i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer

i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends

i started focusing on my studies

i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings

dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird

and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.

but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.

and if finding happiness a losing battle?

well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.

#mental health day #world mental health day #october 10 #tw sewerslide attempt #tw mentions of death #tw mentions of self harm #tw self destructive behavior #road to recovery

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sunnnfish · 9 months

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KAGIHIRA CHAPTER 22 !!!!!!!!!!! Rambling under the cut

Honestly kind of love how hirano keeps coming back to how long kagi has liked him its kind of like. If he wants their relationship to stay the same as it has been, depending on how long kagi has liked him then it staying the same would always include kagi’s love for him. “The kagi kun im fond of is the one who’s in love with me” etc etc. ive said it before but hes very scared of their relationship changing but it doesnt have to. Idiot. And also kagi teasing him about it. King.

WILD TASHIRO AND SHIRAHAMA SPOTTED! I could be so much weirder about them. Btw. They’re kind of like sasahira to me. I digress

Kagi’s missing button. Live niibashi reaction is sooo funny. He’s in hell. Would not be surprised if theres a conversation in the future about niibashi telling kagi how that was very un-just-roommates-like behavior from hirano. That was gay as hell. AND THE WAY NIIBASHI WALKS AWAY COVERING HIS EARS…..i love him so much.

And WHY IN GODS NAME did they go to the STAIRWELL? HMM??? Feel like theres other less conspicuous places to do this. Why did you take him to the fucking abandoned stairwell hirano. Anything related to your relationship with sasak[gets shot]

OH reading through a second time for this. Just realized he pointedly places his phone down for the ten seconds—neither of them are actually timing it. Im sure kagi is in his head and hes gonna say something about it probably being a little longer than just 10 seconds. And Hirano in general starting to notice the absence rather than the presence. You know. But also this touch was sooo cute like. Even if it doesnt make hiranos heart race or blush or whatever its so comfortable for him. Kagi’s rolling around and nuzzling his shoulder but its still not bad at all. It’s comfortable and easy and im going to rip my heart out.

Wild Hanzawa spotted. “How about becoming the vice president next year” why does he say this to literally everyone. He’s done it to hirano and kagi and tashiro and miyano apparently. This isn’t about him right now sorry.

Anyways. Getting to like the main meat of this chapter im locking on to so much. The conversation with miyano and surrounding feelings. Hirano also seems to lock on to the fact that his heart is supposed to race if hes in love. And then he conveniently tunes miyano out as he starts talking about how the comfort and family vibe around someone is also love.

And its like. Hirano seem so forlorn that his heart doesn’t race like kagi’s. “I guess i really cant feel that way about kagi kun huh…” what do you mean cant why do you sound so sad about it. Bitch. But also the admission that his heart was pounding when kagi hugged him in the nurses office. Okaaayyyyy. Yeah buddy that was just surprise. Mhm. Anyways. I’ve said it a million times and every chapter i feel more and more right that hirano wants to love kagi. But apparently he feels like he cant. He’s basing everything off of kagi’s feelings which are like very intense and touch based. But he doesnt experience love that way. If he had just LISTENED TO MIYANO[explodes] im fine. Thankfully he does listen to the part about how you think about the person and want to see them. And that subsequently thinking about how kagi being around makes him for focused and comfortable and wanting him around right now is gay as hell. “It’s NOT a date but” buddy if you have say ‘but’ then i hate to break it to you. Hirano what if i kill you for real. Kidding.

Anyways lovely chapter next one can’t come fast enough etc etc peace and love on planet kagihira

#looovvveee all the different kinds of love in the sasamiyaverse #god #it’s so good #clutches chest #hirano to kagiura #Hirano and kagiura #sunnfish.kghr

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ofduskanddreams · 1 year

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Trust In My Hate: an Azris /Captive Prince Crossover

I likely won't start truly writing this fic until after What Lies Inside is completed, but I've been having a lot of fun planning, worldbuilding and outlining so I thought I would share some of it (but please note that the content of this post is subject to change, nothing’s final just yet.)

If you aren't familiar with the series, it's the Captive Prince Trilogy by C.S Pacat. [link to Penguin's page for the series here.]

I'm not calling this an AU because I'm not transplanting Azris to the Captive Prince (CaPri) world, nor am I transplanting the CaPri plot into ACOTAR. The world where the fic is set is inspired by both the CaPri and ACOTAR, as you can clearly see in the map below. The characters are maybe 60% ACOTAR, 25% OC, 15% CaPri. The plot is like 60% CaPri, 20% post-canon ACOTAR, 20% original. I essentially threw everything I liked into a blender and made something new.

Find the map and the fic's prologue below the cut! [new map and updated prologue as of 2/22]

Map:

I recommend clicking on the map to view it at a higher resolution.

Prologue:

This will explain the map, I promise.

Excerpts from the Illyrian Chronicle, compiled by Gaspar Kasos for his majesty King Gabriel in the year 207 AL (after liberation.) Long ago, the great Island of Prythian was divided into eight kingdoms. The Kingdom of Andr in the far north, and a coalition of seven kingdoms known collectively as the Courts. There were four seasonal Courts: Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter; and three solar Courts known as Dawn, Day, and Night. Five centuries ago, Cornelius II, then the ruler of the Autumn Court, began a campaign of expansion. By the time his great-great-grandson Timothy IV took the throne, the Autumn Court’s power had consumed the other three seasonal Courts. Timothy did not think Andr, that rocky formidable land, worth the resources necessary to claim it and thus turned his gaze to the south.

In response to the growing threat from the north, Dawn allied with Day. Both would remain neutral in the initial conflicts to come which distanced them from the Night Court who stood fixedly against Autumn’s actions.

Not long after this coalition was formed, a rebellion broke out in Night. For centuries the Night Court’s rulers had oppressed the Illyrian people within their borders, forcing them to live in desolate camps and serve in their armies. Under the leadership of the warrior Enalius, the Illyrians were able to break away from the Night’s oppression. During the revolution they conquered half of Night, establishing the great Kingdom of Illyria as it stands today.

Though Dawn and Day remained neutral for decades, it would not last. On the Winter Solstice in 57 AL, Autumn spies massacred Dawn's royal line in its entirety, prompting Night to join the Southern Coalition with Day to stand against Autumn and aid in governing Dawn's rulerless territory on the border.

Thirty-seven years ago the newly crowned King Rholand of Night and King Gabriel of Illyria met on the border at Mount Ramiel to discuss a tentative peace, marking the end of over a century and a half of strife between their lands. Rholand offered Illyria a public apology for Night’s persecution of their people, as well as a generous peace treaty and trade agreement that leaned heavily in Illyria’s favor. It was at this summit when Illyria formally joined the alliance against Autumn and the allied Southern Kingdoms as we know them were formed. The final offering on that celebrated day however, was made by no kingdom but by King Rholand's younger sister.

The Lady Elyssa of Night surprised all of those gathered by offering King Gabriel her hand in marriage, arguing that there would be no better demonstration of this new, peaceful relationship between their kingdoms than joining their houses by blood. Impressed by her eloquence and resolve, and after discussing the terms with Rholand, Gabriel accepted the proposal and the two were wed the following sunset at the grand temple in Illyria’s capital, Ios.

The three southern rulers of Prythian ensured that their sons and heirs—the Princes Azrelios of Illyria, Rhysand of Night, and Lucien of Day—grew up paying frequent visits between their lands to bolster the trio’s camaraderie. The rulers’ forethought was well rewarded when a brutal battle broke out at Marlas in the borderlands at the eve of this current decade.

The three young, then untested heirs valiantly led their forces against Autumn’s armies, but the battle only ceased when the Illyria’s Prince met Eren Vanserra, Heir to the Autumn Throne, in single combat and slew him on the battlefield. Eren’s death placed his younger brother Eris next in the line of succession.

The battle of Marlas shattered over two centuries of relative peace between Autumn and the South. Nine years later, skirmishes are still frequent in the borderlands and tensions between Autumn and the Southern Kingdoms are at an all time high.

If you made it this far, thank you <3 I know I'm a nerd. Yes, I made the map myself and likely spent waaayyyy too much time on it but I think it's pretty cool and I hope it stoked some excitement!

#azris #azris fanfic #captive prince au #captive prince #my wips #acotar fanfiction #acotar au #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #eris vanserra #eris acotar

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ispreadrabieslikewildfire · 4 months

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Please tell me about Harper and Feena!

OMEHAGUROHMEGAUR OKOKOKOKOKOKOK SOSOSOOSOSOSO (thamk yo uso much TEHE) alao im sorry if this makes NO SENSE im spilling my head into paragraphs and not proofreading rhis is gonna end HORRIBLY but i hope you enjoy😭!

Anwyay so harper and feena started when @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat asked me to draw a silly guy eating monster much and he turned into harper (ill link some pictures to show) and he felt lonely so i made him a friend called feena and theyve been a thibg since then HOLY SHIT I THINK ITS BEEN 2 YEARS?????

Harper and feena r supposed to be my silly ocs that are my go toos when i start daydreaming and drawing! Their not supoosed to have too much trauma and stuff (IM CONTAINING MYSELF) so i camt head empty and harper its also so when i draw them they make me happy they are my happyness. So becazue i cant give them trauma i make altermate realitoes where i CAN give them trauma!!

Im gonna make sections so i caj explain everthing so it can atleast try to make sense

1. THEIR RELATIONSHIP :3

Ok so when i started I made them friends ofc!! And i thought they where cool as hell so i started thinking about their relationship and i was thinking how wierd it would feel if they where a couple so their thing is that their completely platonic and are jist realy close friends that are realy comfortable with each other, i wouldnt say like 'siblings' but more like that one cousin that your realy close with. I like to think of them as denji and power from chainsaw man (however i see denji and power as more of siblings) but no matter how close they get with eachither they dont feel anything romantic :3 i have a thing that when they where 14/15 they where like fuck it lets kiss and they hated it!!!!! they wanted to die!!!!!

I also have different ages for them i draw them as for whatever mood im in! So i have toddler harper and feena (theyve met in primary school) and then children harper and feena (10-12) and then theres also teen (14-16) and preadult idk forgot what its called (17-19) and adult! (20-22) by 20-22 they have an appartment with 2 other roomates nadia and caspian i dont realy have a story for them yet however they do have designs. So basically they jsut spend their entire lives together as besties and this is their main world where their happy and have no trauma and are just silly!!

2. Sexualities n stuff

Well im nor good at this stuff since i realy have no kmowledge but i kinda just peojected me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto them...

Harper:

Bisexual, he/they. Dyslexic and/or is on the autism spectrum idk i dont think much about this

Feena:

Aro/ace or Asexual i havent decided, goes by anything. I honestly dont even know she is any and all illnesses

3. Childhood and all

So i dont wanna give them a traumatic childhood since their my silly chracters!!

HOWEVER, they do have some sort of backstories.

Feena:

Some sort of religious trauma, her family where 100% praise our lord and saviour jesus christ and she didnt feel part. Knew what she was when she was a teen and after harper came out and was more comfortable. Didnt tell her parents until she moved out, (they very obviously didnt take it well) however is still in touch with them!! Their just kinda realy uncomforable whenever the subject changes to jesus or gay stuff idk.

Harper:

Twas a bit (a lot) stupider than most people his age (austismmmmm) his parents payed more attention to their sisters so that they could have a better education instead of wasting their time on a child thatll never learn and refuses to listen (wasnt diagnosed till he was an adult so they thought he was being annoying purposefully). Tbh just whats a hug LMAO. He came out to his parents, they told him it was just a phase and theylll get out of it eventually.

So ya!

4. The cats need their own section

So ive always eanted these 2 cats, one called jester one called mariposa. So if i cant have them whats better than having my oc that represents me having them?

This is jester! (SHES PREFECT THIS IS HOW I ENVISION HER)

This is mariposa :3

5. Universes

Like i said since i dont want harper and feena to have too much trauma i create new universes for them! Other than my main ailly one theres another 3 i favour out of all the ones i make

1. I made a dystopian after apocolypse one (MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE ITS SO FUN TO MAKE!!) where the aftermath is that the world (well at leats where their living) is split into two, the privlidged and less priveledged (I NEED NAMES FOR THESE I DONT HAVE ANY) anywwy what i think i can best decribe this as is like the hunger games, where theres the 'capitol' and the 'districts' but instead of there being districts its all just survival of the fittest L lmao so yah. So after the apocolypse harper and feena are split up. Feena ends up with the privileged and harper ends up with the less. Harper finds a place he can call 'home' (FOUNDFAMILYFOUNDFMILYFOUNDFAMILY) and feena ends up on the other side where she gets her memories wiped and she then hets brainwashed to belive she was sent down as a gift from god during hard times and everyone is supposed to worship her (tehe i wont bother yiu with any more of this story)

2. Silly little 80s teen ghost busting show like scooby doo with harper feena nadia and caspian

3. detective harper and feena (havent built a lot)

6. I FORGOT TO ADD DYNAMIC

So basically feena can be smart when she wants to but chooses to fuck around with harper, quite a bitch if you guys just met. Pretty resereved when shes around people she doesnt know amd her social skills arent great. If you give her a chance she can be quite nice and passionate. Can ramble for hours on ends

Harper, guys hes trying his best. Loud, can ramble for hours on end too.

And thats all i can think of...sorry for ramblong so much i jist realy love them. i dont expect anyonw to actually read this... Once again this is just me projecting me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto harper anf feena!

Thank you @rainbowghostcat sososoososo much i love youuahahhah <333

Ill attach drawing of them in the mprning!

#IM sILLY!!!#I love my ocs #Harper and feena #projectinf frfr

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mrs-mquve-cc · 1 year

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Sims Tag

I was tagged by @esotheria-sims!

1. What’s your favourite sims death?

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever let a sim die 😆 Not only do I not actually play the game very often, I’m just too attached to my sims. But if I had to choose it’d be death by cowplant.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Alpha/semi-realistic till the day I die!

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

Nah, that’s unnecessary.

4. Do you use move objects?

ALWAYS.

5. Favorite mod?

@lamare-sims‘ Shiftable Everything! I love to decorate, and this was a TOTAL game-changer for me.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I bought The Sims 2 Deluxe in 2007. I still get confused with what came with the base game and what came with Nightlife because I’ve always had NL 😅

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Like LIVing. I seem to be in the minority on this but whatever.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Laegrinna, of course! I’m sure everyone who follows me knows already but she’s the sim pictured in this post and in my avatar. She’s the protagonist of a game called Deception IV: Blood Ties.

9. Have you made a simself?

Yep, I do have one, you can see her in my 40th birthday post from last year. I gave her graying hair then to be more accurate. I did play as her a few times but it felt kind of weird so she just roams around my hood.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

I don’t use the traits mod but if I did, it’d probably be Absent-Minded, Perfectionist, Cat Person, Eccentric, and Socially Awkward.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I don’t use EA colors or textures, obviously, but I hate them all, especially the pee yellow blonde 😂

12. Favorite EA hair?

I don’t use EA hairs, but the only one I even remotely like is the Mansion & Garden dreads band hair. I might try to do something texture-wise with it at some point.

(Editing to say HOW THE SHIT DID I FORGET LAEGRINNA’S HAIR *facepalm* yeah it’s the Modern Bob from the EA store. As for hairs shipped with the game see above)

13. Favorite life stage?

I only play adults because I’m boring lol

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I dunno, I spend way more time creating and taking pics than I do playing. I’m awful at building but I do enjoy it and like I said I love decorating.

15. Are you a CC creator?

Yep, have been for almost 8 years now! I’ve made a ridiculous amount of CC, mostly hairs but I think I enjoy retexturing clothing and objects a bit more. I’ve just started learning meshing and it’s opened up so many new possibilities for me. I have an endless list of future projects!

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I have a few. I’m not popular in the community or anything and my social skills are lacking but I do like interacting with other simmers.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

Sims 2 forever!

18. Do you have any sims merch?

Nope.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

No and I don’t think I’d be good at making videos in general.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

It’s gotten much more eccentric and I’ve leaned harder into semi-realism despite most people playing Maxis Match the past 10+ years. I love goth/alternative CC and incorporated a lot more into my game when I created the Deception IV sims. It’s funny because it seems like people’s tastes get more mainstream as they age, but it’s exactly the opposite for me. I look at my old CC and the way I used to dress and make up my sims and think “wow was I boring back then.” The current aesthetic of my game more accurately reflects my personality.

21. What’s your Origin ID?

Bold of you to assume I use Origin 😂

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Too many to list here! I’m a CC hoarder.

23. How long have you had a simblr?

7 years, almost as long as I’ve been creating.

24. How do you edit your pictures?

I do minimal editing, partially because I’m not very good at it and also because with CC previews I want people to see exactly what they’re getting. I use Pooklet’s game lighting actions, I’m careful with how much light I use when taking the pics in-game because it’s easier to brighten a screenshot than fix an overexposed one (Laegrinna’s white hair is particularly prone to overexposure). I brighten the subjects of the picture a bit more and darken the background a little so they stand out. But that’s really it.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

Well, we’re not getting anything else for TS2 anyway, and I don’t even know what else I’d want because there’s so many fun mods out there that add to the game.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

That’s a tough one - I love playing witches (Laegrinna and her sister Velguirie are both evil witches) so Apartment Life is up there, but I also love playing businesses and having my sims go out on the town so I couldn’t imagine playing without OFB or Nightlife.

I’m going to tag @furbyq, @focalor-sims, @equinoxts2, @pooklet, @skulldilocks, @letomills, and @phoebe-twiddle!

#fia.jpg #the usual gang of idiots #sim: laegrinna

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rowanisawriter · 5 months

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i need to put this somewhere cw: parents

i left home like 10 years ago and im a grown woman now with a spouse, a child, a house, a job, etc. im about the age my parents were by the time they had 2 kids and had already moved around 10 times renting. my husband and i agreed we could move until our kid was 5 and in school, after that we have to stay put wherever we were because we can’t displace her while she’s growing up, and because i need to put down roots. ive been floating without planted roots for my whole life like a plant propagated in water, my roots are out i want so badly to be placed somewhere where i can grow but im not ready yet. i have two years and we have plans. we can do this.

my parents are almost 70, there are still siblings that live with them and depend on them, and they’re about to do their fourth or fifth i lost count big across the ocean move. i know hindsight is 20/20 and they couldn’t have known back then that the houses they rented cost like 100k to buy and now cost 2mil, no one predicted what the housing market would look like back then. but they were the same age as i am now and they had zero forward thinking, they didn’t care how many times we had to move, how many times we had to change schools, every year the new girl in school, every year making and leaving new friends, every year in a new room with most of my stuff thrown away because we had to move to a new rental and couldn’t take everything. I have almost nothing from before i turned 22 and left. i have no pictures, no old friends who knew me when i was a teenager, none of my old handwritten stories, its like i sprang out of the earth fully formed at 22 because thats when i started keeping things, keeping proof that i exist, instead of just holding everything in my mind

they’re looking for a new house to buy, finally, at the age when most people have found their little pot to stretch their roots out. its the absolute worst time in history to be buying a house. i don’t think they’ll be able to do it and for some reason i’m helping them idk whatever. they won’t settle down now i know it but it won’t be because i didn’t help them.

i thought id be older one day and be able to get over my ghostly and ephemeral upbringing and just move on but i can’t, the older i get the more i hate them, i can’t believe they put us through this as kids, i have a kid now and i can’t imagine having every opportunity to give her a good foundation and just not doing that. going through this home search with them feels like chewing gravel. im swallowing my teeth hoping it will be over soon. if they can’t do it it won’t be because i didn’t help them

#i hold things in a lot #diary

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serafilms · 11 days

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guys i need to rant for a second can i rant for a second. i want to preface this by saying i am genuinely incredibly grateful that this is my biggest concern in my life rn (aside from general insane school workload and other personal crises) bc i’ve had many moments of clarity over the past few days where i’ve realised how ridiculous of a tick this is but YOUD GET IT IF YOU KNEW HER.

MY FUCKING ROOMMATE. who’s also one of my friends of 7 years (i don’t say best friend here bc i fear i have had to revoke that right in my mind because of many many developmenrs over the past 5 months). she asks me if i wanna go to aespa. i say yeah sure but i’ll think about it bc i’m not a huge huge My. all the while i’m thinking why the fuck does she want to go ?? for context she’s essentially a sociopath and i’m not even exaggerating and i’ve thought this even when i didn’t hate her. she’s literally INCAPABLE of liking anything especially musical artists on any level deeper than like the barest skim of the surface level. the barest skim because there is not one single musical artist on earth who she watches any videos about let alone knows more than 60% of their songs. which is FINE some artists have a lot of songs!!!!! but AESPA she does NOT like aespa enough to deserve these tickets even IIII don’t deserve these tickets which is why i was hesitant. she just wants to experience a live music experience regardless of who bc she wants the adrenaline rush. the vibes of how cool it is to do something other than lie in bed. she doesn’t care about knowing or liking the songs that much, cares even even less about the people performing, and has absolutely no emotional connection associated with any of the songs or people. this isn’t specific to aespa, but is definitely true for it. so i fucking tell her that i might not go to aespa also because i would like to save for enhypen when they come. and so she says:

i PROMISE you she doesn’t know SHIT ABOUT ENHYPEN. she thinks that she knows all their names. does she? maybe. would knowing all the members’ names and some of their songs qualify her as a fan? no. not really. but she thinks it’s enough to go to the concert, and she has shown time and time again that she doesn’t see concerts as a fan experience, but as an experience for anyone who kind of knows the artist. but there are people like ME and YOU AND ALL OF US who actually WANT TO SEE ENHYPEN. we love all their songs and want to actually see them and sing along to the songs. i can PROMISE you she doesn’t. she doesn’t watch ANY kpop content period aside from the occasional tiktok. doesn’t follow anyone on instagram, doesn’t watch any youtube at all. doesn’t even have more than two enhypen songs saved on spotify. so you can imagine how fucking heated i am that this fake ass fucking whore has proven again and again that she doesn’t care about the actual fans even when the “fans” include her best friends. and she KNOWS how much i care about the right people experiencing the right things. full disclosure like 80% of the time i hate when kids get the 22 hat. kids are adorable and it’s a special memory we GET IT, but there’s almost always someone else in the crowd who it would mean more to i promise you. but that can’t be helped. taylor swift doesn’t care. MY FRIEND FUCKING SHOULD.

AND FASTFORWARD TO AFTER THE TICKETS WENT ON SALE. ofc she proves time and time again that she doesn’t actually care enough about aespa or any of the artists she wants to go to. bc she didn’t even remember the tickets sale. BUT THEN. look at what. she says.

oh: ANOTHER FUCKING CONCERT WRE YOU CICKIFN KIDDING ME BIGCH. AND OH MY GOD WHEN I TELL U OLIVIA RODRIGO MEANS EVEN LORE TO ME THAN ENHYPEN IVE BEEN HERE SINCE 2019 SINCE JOLIVIA GIRL R U FR R U ACTUALLY FR IS SHE ACTUALLY FOR FUCKING REAL oh my god i understand why murderers do what they do. 6 months ago, we went to karaoke together, her and i. i queued up “bad idea right” because i’d seen it on her playlist and also because. it’s bad idea right. she’s on tiktok. how could she not know it. i tell her i put olivia rodrigo on next and she tells me she doesn’t really know any songs and i say “oh you def know it hold on” and then the song starts. she says “ohh. um i only really know bits of it.” so i skip the song. that’s all completely fine like i wouldn’t have even remembered or thought about that scenario IF IT WERENT FOR THIS.

now i’m sure you’re thinking: “well, tumblr user serafilms, 6 months is plenty of time to get into olivia rodrigo.” you would be right. except that i’ve been living with her for 5 of those months and she has certainly not been getting into olivia rodrigo. okay, i’ll give her some credit. i’ve heard her listen to “so american” two times in the last month. fucking round of applause for her.

also we literally went to a concert together at the start of the year and genuinely it was the worst experience of my life. bc one thing about her is she gets terrible terrible mood swings and she absolutely will be snippy and sit in silence with an absolute bitch face and push past you and glare at you and do anything she can to not have to speak out loud to you. and she won’t tell you why or if you did anything and will dismiss it if you apologise and will never apologise for almost ruining what was probably the best experience of your life which would have been 100x better if she hadn’t been there at all or just had NOT been such a a bitch.

so yeah. last thing i want to do is go to another concert with her. or do anything with her. i can’t wait for our lease to end.

#ashley speaks !#i’m so.#angry.#very incredibly grateful that this is one of my bigger struggles rn.#but also so so. angry #i want to watch her life go up in flames

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sunwarmed-ash · 6 months

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Heyyy, me again, I'm feeling curious now

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

14: Talk about a vacation.

22: Talk about your worst fear.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

hi!!!!!!!!!!! 💜😍

8: My view of myself. I have been through my fair share of trauma, toxic relationships and bad home lives for me to spend a good portion of myself internalizing my pain and hating myself for it. 2020 was an all time low and it's been a long crawl to how I feel about myself now. But I really am proud of myself. for not giving up. for reaching out and getting help. for continuing to find the things that make me happy and release the things that don't. for continuing to do the long slog of tasks that keep me running so I can help other people <3

9: Aww i like this one alot! okay so obvi I love my tattoos, I love the colors and all the thought and meaning behind them. But I also really like how my piercings look in my ears and face haha. Weirdly enough Ive also grown to like my scars. I'm still fucking here despite everyones attempts and thats pretty powerful to see :D uh last thing, hmmm, oh! i have this weird collection of freckles that I think looks like a stick figure dude cheering

14. LOLOL okay so my dad likes to say how he has this black cloud because every time we try to go on vacation or him specifically something goes wrong. While this is coincidentally true, he is also a super negative person so its really his attitude that dooms him.

anyway the first time we tried to go to disneyworld hurricane Frances wiped out florida. we defaulted to SOUTH DAKOTA to see Mt. Rushmore...... when we finally got to go to disney a year or two later my bag got flagged because my mom can't live a second without her hairspray and shoved two cans in my bag. post 9/11 they were REALLY paranoid about hairspray 🤦‍♀️

another time we went to lake tahoe and the fucking place nearly burnt down. the smoke and ash was so bad i broke out in a physical rash and couldnt breathe. also it was the vacation i got my first period so it was arguably the WORST vacation ive ever been on lol

22. worst fear is def dolls. Like those ventriloquist puppets are the worst imo and then its like all porcelain dolls. fucking nasty creepy things do not need to exist 😆

36. oh man, making my blorbos queer and then dooming them by the narrative, making my blorbos fuck, uhhhh, every version of spiderman everything ever, my 90s and 00 emo bands, upcying everything I can to save the earth another few minutes

🌮taco bout asks

#taco bout asks #max answers #ash answers

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canarydarity · 24 days

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Sooooo, what's your super specific jimmy au based on a historical figure about? 👀

oh you mean the one I am desperately trying to get my brain not to think about because I already HAVE a super niche jimmy au based on a historical figure? I'm so glad you asked <3

Grace Darling was the 22 year old daughter of a lighthouse keeper on the Farne Islands in the UK.

Early in the morning on September 7th 1838, she saw what she believed to be a shipwreck snagged on the rocks of one of the nearby islands. She convinced her father—who thought the idea much too dangerous—to accompany her to the wreck where they managed to save the lives of nine people.

This kind of thing made her INSTANTLY FAMOUS. like she was renowned worldwide for her bravery and empathy for others and for having done this etc. Artists traveled from ALL over to be able to draw portraits of her (people would pay so much money to have one to stick in their wallet. she was THAT famous), she was CONSTANTLY being interviewed by news outlets, Queen Victoria sent her £50!! they wrote each other letters!!!! She received a medal etc.

but grace hated the attention, and she was always saying she'd only done what any person would've and that was all!! she did not deserve nor want a pedestal!!! she asked kindly for it to stop!!! and it :')) did not :')).......

she could not leave her house without being swarmed by people and she was constantly being made to sit for portraits or strangers would beg her for a lock of her hair and it was a LOT! but she felt OBLIGATED to entertain it because it was SUPPOSEDLY well-intentioned!!! she was pressured to go on a tour around the country to speak about that day and her experience and she was SO worn down by the years of attention at this point that on this tour she....contracted tuberculosis and....died. at 26. and this just of course. pushed her even further into the spotlight and now in her death she is this. martyr. further memorialized in the media against her wishes as this hero. and I just. am so so sad for her. and wish she got some peace. she saved the lives of 9 people and she was in a way harassed for it until she,,,,,,,,,,,,

AND I JUST THINK THAT I CAN CANARY CURSE THAT. IN A WAY. MAYBE. I DONT KNOWWW I DONT KNOW. I CAN JIMMY THIS..........

tell me that the idea of Jimmy as a victorian era lighthouse keeper doesnt fucking SLAP. LIKE, im already picturing his wardrobe. UGH! hes so tortured. to me.

its not really an au yet....but it...but my brain is....its trying to make it so....something where i can talk about grace darling and how horribly upset I am about the way she was treated while also fitting jimmy into a victorian lighthouse setting.........................

Dont ask why my first instinct whenever I become obsessed and empathize with a new niche historical figure is to go "can I jimmy them?"

also pay no attention to the way both niche historical figures Ive done this to's stories have revolved around being the center of media storms outside of their control.

if you couldn't tell working at a museum is bad. for me personally. /silly

#baseball au isnt even OVER YET.#i need tyo STAY FOCUSED!!!!!!!!#but grace oh grace :')) every day I am sad about grace #and every week I go to work and I read our plaque about her and i.....#and tn. for some reason my brain just. it said hey waht if you. it said. hey maybe if you get this out somewhere itll feel be......#lighthouse keeper canary curse unasked for hero jimmy....................#worm asks #anyway. everyone tell me to calm down rn /j'

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dirtangeldean · 19 days

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hi ren! i was wondering why you don't want your donation post tagged? tagging crowdfunding etc posts helps me find them again on my blog easily to rereblog in case they haven't hit their goal yet but i don't wanna make you uncomfortable

cw: weight talk/health issues

anon hiiii, i’m really glad you asked this and finally have capacity to write out fully why! so thank you 🤗

among the millions of users on this app, some things have gotten super cemented as The Way™ but that means staff knows it too.

while the 4 tags: “s***nal b***t”, c**wdf*nd”, “d**nation”, and “mu**al a*d” may seem helpful for sorting and awareness at face value, we as users have been using and overusing them for years. it’s like a sick joke to chronically poor “ebeggers” as we have been named by old reddit.

bottom line is staff hates poor people; even before they decided to take away tipping soon, they flagged posts and sh**ow ba**ed accounts, deleted users (usual poor and black/indigenous/of color) while letting gen pop think they were doing a good job. my main account has over 3k followers and i cant get any post i make over 3 notes anymore despite being a semi popular radical blog.

my messaging was taken away. i could hit post limit and still have activity of max 20 notes a day. the post itself could be randomly deleted or even hard to search all of a sudden even with a tag. it’s awful to be isolated on the internet when you’re poor. :/ call me paranoid but i barely touch my main account now.

anyway, my fandom blog doesn’t deserve a forced lack of community and i love you guys too much to not be able to see/be seen or talk to my friends. ive already been told by staff that this blog was flagged as spam once and they took away my messages, right after my last sciatic spasm. it took Weeks to get messages back.

it was awful, i was living in the dark and only eating egg cheese sandwiches or sugar rice and water bc i couldnt afford anything else. i’m not going back to that. i’ve gained weight that is making my bones hurt bc of my poverty food choices and forced sedentary lifestyle while healing my back. and i’m only just now getting back going walking and being employed sporadically. it’s super hard to not have help and not have a job bc of disability discrimination AND have deconditioned muscles. poor nutrition is horrible for muscle. it’s even harder to stomach getting 3 thousand notes on something and $17 while i owe Thousands the way it works on my main account.

if i can do anything to advocate for myself, it’s to ask this: dont use old, overused tags. get creative with tags so more people see and wont restrict me. tag comerades/mutuals in the post. tag the post with a random well wish like “good luck” or something. literally anything but the most common 4 tags. the same way people get creative with the name for their queues!

i made a post about other/different tags that can be used but it doesnt have a ton of notes, i tried looking for and i cant find it which shows 1. the tumblr tagging system still sucks 2. it will never get a ton of notes. many of the posts in the tags mention in the beginning of this post barely reach 100 notes. mathematically a post could need like 9,000 notes to be fully funded depending on the amount. there’s a post in there with 22 notes, unless that person makes a new post everyday (i know a person who does that), it’s a wasted effort and some days i barely have spoons to get up and relieve myself tbh :/

anyway, especially with things that took years to happen or months to fix, it’d just be nice if post got notes into 1k-10k territory to be effective.

i hope some or any of this answers your question, let me know if you have more! have a great day!

#da.words #anon #da.asks

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fairycosmos · 1 year

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@ that anon. i HATED therapy for the first few years i tried it, and countless ‘therapists’ (i say countless, but i know i saw about 15 different people for my mental health from 17-22.. maybe more.) therapy is something you have to want and you have to be prepared to take that money cut. its stupid how inaccessible it is, and how its even harder to find someone who fits with you. but i can safely say after 8 months with my current therapist id never trade this experience for anything. ive grown indescribably in myself, my relationships, my place in the world. i have a fuck load of trauma, childhood abuse n then further abuse by intimate partners. i was on the belief that no one could help or would even WANT to help. EMDR is great for trauma, as well as IFS. find a competent therapist who specialises in trauma and give it a go, if it doesn’t work out that’s okay. you’ll gain experience and knowledge of what doesnt work for you. CBT is atrocious ill just say that lol, avoid anyone who thinks they can treat trauma with CBT. thinking of starting therapy is the first step to getting the help you want and need to live fulfilling lives. you dont HAVE to wrestle with the ugly world on your own

thank you lovely! ❤️ this is so so well worded and should be really encouraging for them to read. i hope anon sees this. im really glad you've been able to adopt this mindset and that you've finally found someone who works compatibility with your mind. it's so deserved! ❤️

#anon

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portaltothevoid · 2 years

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Masterlist

hey friends! my collection of writings lives here. under the cut you’ll find an eddie munson vampire au one shot, an eddie munson x ofc fic (multi parts and chapters and she’s a total bad ass, you’ll love her), and a fic revolving around lore from the band ghost! if you take the time to read any of my work, you’re amazing and i’m grateful that you’re here. enjoy!

and don’t be afraid to message me i’m just shy

you’re losing me — Terzo/Papa Emeritus III x reader and Copia x reader — heavy angst with a sprinkling of smut (in progress) — ao3 link

You were in a years long relationship with the leader of the Satanic church, destined for greatness at his side. Or so you thought until he became a serial cheater. However, while your relationship with the Ministry's current Papa had been tumultuous for some time, you were finally pushed to make the choice you'd been avoiding - leaving him for another senior clergy member (and Papa's half-brother). This ignited a battle to balance the scales of power which Papa Emeritus III had tipped heavily in his favor to the point of abusing it. From there, you’re set on a cataclysmic journey that reveals your true self. Your current and former relationships are put to the test when your destiny, which is far more important to the church than you could have ever imagined, is finally revealed.

Between Breaths (An XXX Perspective) — terzo x reader smut — ao3 link

You're the Head Witch at the Ministry. Arguably at times you hold more power than the current Papa, Papa Emeritus III. You've always hated him and you assumed the feeling was mutual. But what happens when he calls you out on it?

God Called In Sick Today — copia x oc, mafia au — ao3 link

When a mission goes south, Copia is left scrambling to figure out a plan to get the mayor-to-be in favor of the Emeritus family. That’s where Arianna Diodati, the Mafia Princess of his (very Catholic) rival, comes in. He plans to use her as a bargaining chip to get what he wants. Did he place the right bet or did he take more than he bargained for?

Console the Griever — Copia x GN!Reader — one shot where Copia gives reader the comfort they need to help them as they grieve loved ones.

Love Bites — Eddie Munson x OFC — Vampire AU one shot

Foolin’ — Eddie Munson x OFC — slow burn, angst, fluff (completed)

Kat Ramsay was forced to move to Hawkins for her senior year, which she planned to get through with her head down, so she can go back to her rock’n’roll life in Los Angeles. She never expected her world to be turned upside down as she learned to open her heart, let others care about her, and accept herself with the help of the Freak of Hawkins High.

A Very Kat Ramsay Christmas Special — Eddie Munson x ofc — fluff (completed)

Kat surprises Eddie with an epic Christmas gift he’ll never forget.

Part One | Part Two

For Whom the Bell Tolls — Eddie Munson x OFC — established relationship, fix it fic (completed)

Eddie and Kat’s relationship is put to the test as they join forces with everyone to take down Vecna. (It’s season four, only with Kat, and Eddie lives.)

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