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staranon95 · 3 years

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DinCobb Week Day 1: Clan of Three (SFW)

@dincobbweek is finally here! ive never participated in something like this before so hopefully i don’t run away with any of the ideas lol. anyway, here’s my version of Clan of Three

AO3 Link

i could never stay away (not this time not from you)

“This was well earned, partner.”

The Marshal Vanth hefts the Mandalorian armour onto Din’s speeder. The man no longer seems to be morose at the fact of losing the armour and seems rather relieved that it’s all over.

“It was a good fight,” Vanth says, looking out over that half carven carcass of the krayt itself. “I hate to see that it’s finally over.”

“I thought you would be happy to see the threat to your town is over,” Din says as he secures the armour to his speeder. He covers the slab of meat while he’s at it, and the Child turns his ears down now that his easy source for a free meal is covered.

“I wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout the krayt.” Vanth sends him one of those easy smiles in Din’s direction, and Din has to look to the speeder, setting his hands on the helmet. “Listen if you ever find yourself in the area.”

Din nods once. “I’ll have to take you up on that drink. If it’s still available.”

“Hey, I hope our paths will cross again. But you got a friend in me, partner.” He extends his hand and Din reaches up to shake it, and it remains for a time, Vanth squeezing reassuringly before he slides his hand away in what can only be a deliberate move. “Oh, and you tell your people it wasn’t me that broke that thing.” He points to the Rising Phoenix before he’s walking off, armourless and relaxed, towards his people and the Tuskens.

Din sets his hand on the helmet and rubs his hand down over the crown of it. When he hears the Child coo next to him in a questioning tone, he realizes he’s still staring at Vanth’s retreating figure and the lean lines of his body.

He turns to the Child. “What do you think?”

The Child tilts his head, ears flicking upward.

“Want to get back to the ship or stay for the night?”

“Abwa.”

“That’s what I’d thought you’d say. Hold on.”

He lifts the Child and sets him in the bag that sits on the side of the speeder. The Child knows what’s coming and hunkers down as Din mounts the speeder and ignites the engine for the long road back to Mos Eisley.

This time his journey only takes a matter of hours rather than a full day. He knows where Mos Pelgo is now and it’s a fairly direct route through the rocky outcroppings and shifting dunes. Four or five hours by speeder? It’s not a bad ride, and he’s left undisturbed throughout the entirety of it, pulling into Mos Eisley just after the twin suns have passed their zenith.

He’s looking forward to the cool embrace of the Razor Crest. He can’t say he likes Tatooine for it’s sun and heat, and his flight suit and beskar’gam do not make for a cool system to work within.

He swings his leg off of the speeder and lifts the cover off of the krayt meat as Peli Motto approaches him.

“I take it your trip was a success?” She marvels at the slap of meat and snaps her fingers at her droids to come over and handle it.

“In more than one way,” Din says as he begins to take his equipment off of the borrowed speeder in an effort to return it to the Razor Crest.

“Oh! Mando, before you go.” She holds her hands up and looks to the Child expectantly, and Din nods. “Aha, come here you little womprat.” The Child extends his arms to be picked out of the bag, but his attention is still on the meat and to where the pit droids have carried it to an open grill. “So I guess you found it then? Mos Pelgo?”

“I did indeed.”

“What’s it like out that way?”

“Small.”

“Well, that’s frontier towns out there for ya.”

“Do you know of the town’s Marshal at all? Cobb Vanth?”

“Cobb Vanth you say?” Peli looks to the sky and then turns her attention to the Child. “Can’t say I have. The name sounds familiar, though. There was a rebellion a few years back before the second Death Star went—” she uses her free hand to mimic an explosion “—it could’ve been one of his names I was hearing.”

Din hums. He wonders if she’s recalling the story of the Mining Collective that attacked Vanth’s town, but Vanth seems the type to have been in the rebellion business awhile. Sticking up for the small folks. Building something out of nothing. Giving everything he has to those he’s decided to protect.

Including giving up a set of Mandalorian battle armour even if that armour could’ve saved him countless more times.

“So are you heading out tonight then?” Peli asks.

“I was thinking . . .” He trails off and looks to the ship then looks at the armour he clutches in a bundle.

He never did take the Marshal up on his drink.

“I think I might stay for a few days yet,” he says. “There are still some unfinished matters I have to see to.”

“Ah, well, that’s the charm of Tatooine then. Everyone’s itching to leave ‘til they realize there’s more to it than meets the eye. Some of the old timers like to say everything starts and end on Tatooine but that’s only because they’ve never been anywhere.”

Din knows he has a promise to keep. To find the Child’s people and bring him to them. And his own personal drive of locating Mandalorians, his tribe, his own people.

If he has a people.

“At least stay for a bite to eat,” Peli says. “Seems like the kid here is wanting to have something too.”

Din nods. This is something he can do.

There are many things in his life that would be categorized as unfinished business, missed opportunities and the like. If he has to admit it, he would say he’s tired—tired of the grind, of the running, of fighting, and it’s been a long time since he’s connected to someone so quickly like Vanth. Not since Cara Dune perhaps but their professions will lead them in different places. Vanth is here. He’s welcoming and he wants to see more of Din.

And Din, well, he wants to see more of Vanth. How he learned to use the armour. What it was like for him to use the Rising Phoenix the first time.

He might not be a Mandalorian, but he does possess certain traits and qualities a Mandalorian would themselves be admired for.

What if there’s something there? What if there’s a connection?

He can’t know unless he tries.

He sets out just as the first sun touches the horizon. The armour is safely stowed on his ship to make his travel lighter. The Child is safe in his bag, peering out across the sand as they race across it once more, coming into Mos Pelgo just after the suns have set. The town is clearly celebrating the defeat of the krayt and the new peace between them and the Tuskens. The cantina in the center of town is a lively and bright affair, and for a moment as Din pulls the speeder in front of it, he wonders if he shouldn’t have come. It’ll be a lot of attention on him, and he has no intention of being worshipped as a hero. That’s not who he is.

He lifts the Child out of the bag and holds him in his arms. He’ll likely be crushed if they head into the cantina with how full it appears to be.

He walks up the steps and into the cantina and immediately heads turn towards him.

“Hey! Look it’s the Mandalorian!”

The breath in his lungs feels tight at the sudden rush of attention, for people looking his way and wanting to greet him, but then he sees one person cut through the crowd easily—Marshal Vanth.

He’s still dressed as he was—red shirt, cargo pants with a blaster sat in a holster on his hip. The only thing he has removed is his scarf, exposing the lean line of his neck.

“Mando!” He looks genuinely surprised and happy to see Din, a bit pink in the cheeks from imbibing a touch too much spotchka perhaps, but he seems steady on his feet even as he claps a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Didn’t expect to see you back so soon! What brings you out this way, huh?”

“I, uh, thought I’d might like to take you up on that drink.”

Vanth’s face splits into a wide grin. “Thought you’d never ask, darlin’. Come with me.” He slings his arm over Din’s shoulders, leading him through the full establishment and keeping the others at bay. “Leave him be, ya vultures.” But it’s all said in good jest and soon Din is being shown to an empty booth far to the other side of the cantina where he and Vanth can sit in peace.

“You mind if I?” Vanth holds up his hands towards the Child, and Din hands him over. The Child is already reaching for Vanth, and they did become close with one another while they negotiated a deal with the Tuskens. It’s why he chose Vanth to look after him if things were to end poorly. He knew, deep down, that Vanth would care for him. Just as he cares for this town and everyone in it.

“I was gonna miss this little fella,” Vanth says. “He sure does pull you in with those big eyes, now doesn’t he?”

“He has,” Din says, but his eyes are on Vanth himself and how relaxed he seems now, like a huge burden has been lifted. He looks happy to be here, and Din wants to bask in that for a little while longer.

They end up talking for a bit, Vanth more often than not and Din less so. Vanth doesn’t seem to mind that Din doesn’t talk about much, but when Din does talk, Vanth looks at him and listens. He asks questions. He asks for clarification if needed. But he listens, and Din doesn’t know about the last time when someone listened like this.

And as the night draws on and as the cantina slowly empties, Din is beginning to feel a deep-seated weariness settle into his joints and bones. The fight is over and now he must rest but—

“I got a spare room,” Vanth offers. “Could get something together for the kid here.” The Child has fallen asleep in the crook of Din’s arm, his ears downturned despite the hum and drum of the cantina.

“I don’t mean to put this on you.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. Just being a good neighbour. And I’m still the Marshal here. It’s my duty to look after folks. Come on. I won’t hear nothin’ about it.”

He follows Vanth to his house, this little place partially sunken into the ground as is Tatooine fashion. It’s a small place, but more space than Din is used to or has been treated to in a long time. Vanth sees that the Child is set down in something of a makeshift crib, and then it’s just the two of them and no one else.

Vanth stretches and rubs at the back of his neck. Then he turns his gaze to Din. “So what now, Mando? You looking to stay for a while?”

“For now.” He looks to the photos hanging on Vanth’s walls, the bookshelf covered in more knickknacks than actual books, the striped blanket over the back of the couch. “I feel as if there is unfinished business between us.”

“Business, huh?” Vanth brushes past him and sits down on the couch, looking relaxed and inviting. “Anything business you want to discuss right now?”

By the way he’s looking at Din, he knows what Din is meaning by the use of business.

“I’m not sure,” Din says.

“Well, lucky for you I’m a patient man. Now come here.” He pats the cushion next to him. “If you don’t mind me sayin’, I want to get a better look at you.”

Din feels himself flush and he moves slowly, deliberately, and sits down next to Vanth.

“There are a lot of things I can offer,” Vanth says. “But it depends on what you’re looking for.”

“And what if I’m not sure?”

“We take things at your pace.”

It’s a lot to consider yet what this halt in Din’s quest, but he thinks he needs this. He thinks he needs Vanth more than he realizes. Needs the respite. Needs the comfort. Needs the support.

He had offered that all to Vanth in the beginning, and now Vanth is here to repay the favour.

“My pace.”

“Mmhm.”

“Then I think it’s only right you know my name. It’s Din.”

Vanth smiles. “Nice to have it, Din. Call me Cobb.”

#dincobb #din djarin #cobb vanth #dincobbweek #dincobbweek2021 #dincobb week #star speaks #star writes #mandalorian

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junmyeoneyesmile · 4 years

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you can’t stop the flood pt 2

summary:

en·e·my

/ˈenəmē/

noun

a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

irene never thought one day she would live in the enemy’s side. but when a mission goes wrong and everything turns upside down, she wonders for what she was really fighting for.

(or, the one in which x-exo’s scientist irene falls in love with exo’s leader, junmyeon.)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

genre: obsession AU, EXO vs X-EXO, romance, slow burn, angst (with a happy ending?), fluff (maybe if you squint), smut (be patient, tho)

relationships: irene/junmyeon, past irene/sehůn, implied chanyeøl/wendy, side baekhyun/chanyeol, one sided taeyeon/baekhyun.

length: three shot

chapter word count: 9.583

author’s notes: quick note for this chapter, something I would like to explain. you’ll notice that exo members (and people at the elyxion) uses honorifics when talking – that’s because they’re always acting with their hearts, and well, they consider everyone as family. people at the exo’rdium and x-exo don’t feel the need to that, because everything is very logical and done with only work in their minds, so.

also, I used two poems in this part and I wanted to give the credit because they’re not mine. the “lavender poem” is by emery allen, and “always” is by lang leav.

that’s it for now, enjoy!

It was hard for her, to get used to the bright fluorescent lights, the white walls and the clean smell that all the rooms had. She was used to dark places and old stuff.

“Why do you think they called all of us here?” Seungwan asked, sitting next to her.

Joohyun was also not used to the talkative girl who had arrived the same day as her. Even though Joohyun remained isolated, making the other girls not want to get close, Seungwan insisted on being next to her.

Joohyun didn’t answer, and an older woman entered the room. She was one of the doctors, Joohyun remembered. A red hat hid her eyes.

“You were gathered here because you all passed our initial exams. Now, you’ll be able to start your training to be a future help for the Exo’rdium.” the woman said, looking at a sheet of paper. “All of you will undergo tests that will determine your area of aptitude. Now, you’re part of the Exo’rdium and will start over with new identities.”

Future help.

Start over.

Joohyun didn’t think or care much about the future. She didn’t have anyone or anything. But those people were saying she could start over. That she had a future.

The woman got close to her.

“Bae Joohyun?” she asked, and when Joohyun looked at her, she gave her an identity. “Here. Your tests will be performed in room 3 of sector B. Welcome to Exo’rdium.”

Joohyun took the identity, staring at it.

“Hey, what’s yours?” she heard Seungwan ask. “Mine’s Wendy. Kind of cool, right?”

Joohyun put her card on top of the table, and looked at the girl next to her.

“I’m Irene.”

And after that, she never looked back again.

----------------------

“…ever should’ve brought her here.”

“Don’t be like this, Channie. Junmyeon hyung said she was going to die if he left her there.”

For a second, Irene thought she was still dreaming. But the voices were too clear, and her body was starting to realize that her consciousness was coming back.

“Still. This can be a trap to us, Baek. Don’t you think it’s weird?”

Irene opened her eyes, even though it was hard. Her lids were heavy, begging her to just close her eyes again and go back to sleep, but Irene fought the feeling, blinking a few times.

“Hey, she’s waking up.”

The lights in the room weren’t bright, which made it easier for her to adjust. From there, things gradually came into focus.

There was an IV in her arm and her right leg was immobilized with a splint. Her dirty clothes were gone, changed into some clean, fresh ones, and she was in a room with old walls – with two men looking at her from a distance.

Irene tried to move, sit on the bed.

“Oh, don’t mind us.” the silver haired one said, and she stopped. “I’m Baekhyun. But you probably know this already.”

It was weird, seeing the original Baekhyun this close. Irene never thought she would’ve had the opportunity.

They were exactly the same, but the feeling this one passed was different – a lot more soft, kind. Baëkhyun could pretend he was soft, but there was always a wicked feeling behind him.

By Baekhyun’s side, the original Chanyeol was serious. His pink hair was hidden under his beret, and it looked like he was ready to attack her if Irene made the wrong move. She could’ve easily mistaken him for Chanyeøl, if it wasn’t for the dark eyes.

“Where am I?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Baekhyun tilted his head.

“In the Elyxion, of course.”

The Elyxion.

Irene blinked, not really believing what she had heard.

She was in enemy territory.

“I finally found you two.” a different voice came from the door. “What are you guys doing here…”

The red haired man walked into the room, noticing Irene.

“She woke up, hyung.”

They continued to stare at each other. Irene's mind was still a mess, and she didn't remember much of what had happened while she was in pain, but she did remember him.

“Because I can’t leave someone to die like this.”

“Hyung, shouldn’t we take her to the investigation room?” Chanyeol asked. “She has to answer some questions…”

“It’s ok, Chanyeol.” Junmyeon interrupted. “I’ll talk to her.”

“But hyung…”

“Jongdae is looking for you two. Go there and talk to him.”

Chanyeol looked like he was ready to protest, but Baekhyun held his arm, and the two left the room. Junmyeon watched them leave, before turning to Irene again.

She sat on the bed with some difficulty.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

Irene ignored the question.

“You brought me to the Elyxion?”

Junmyeon didn’t answer immediately.

“There was no other place for me to take you.”

“Yes, there was! You could’ve left me at the border!”

“The situation is unstable for both sides. Jongdae’s clone has drones all over the perimeter, and I was alone. Do you think they would have responded well to this scene?”

Irene didn’t answer. Of course not, if Chën saw him alone with her, they would’ve been there in a matter of seconds.

Even though, it still didn’t make sense that this man had taken an enemy to their base. Wasn’t he their leader, too? It was most likely they wanted to keep her there to some kind of purpose. Maybe they knew she was a scientist at the Exo’rdium.

“When are you going to interrogate me?” she asked, feeling like she could get this over with quickly.

Junmyeon frowned lightly.

“I don’t think you fell under a wall on purpose.”

What was that supposed to mean?

“You can't be sure of that.” She said, trying to intimidate him. But it was obvious she was acting up too much.

“Get some rest. You clearly need it.”

Irene was taken aback by that, and he didn't wait for her to answer, leaving the room. Shocked, she continued to look at the door for a long time after he left.

----------------------

It was unnerving to stay in that room with no idea what was going to happen, but in the end, Irene was used to waiting. She was a patient person.

In the middle of the day, a teenage girl came into the room, bringing her a tray of food. Irene wasn't sure if she should trust the food in this place, but she was hungry, and really, she had no other option. Unlike the food at the Exo’rdium - which was always well thought out about all nutrients and functionality - here, it seemed so much simpler: rice, soup and meat.

The taste of homemade food started to bring some past memories to her, and Irene didn’t eat everything.

Late in the afternoon, a doctor came to see her. She was blonde, wore round glasses and looked young, probably just a year older than Irene. The badge on her lab coat read “Kim Taeyeon”.

“Hello,” she said, looking at the clipboard she held. “How are you feeling?”

There were various answers to that question.

“Fine.” Irene said, in the end.

“Does your leg hurt?”

She shook her head.

“Alright. Then I’m going to take out this IV for now, it had some painkillers. If the pain comes back, you can tell me and I’ll bring you something.”

The blonde got closer, and Irene held out her arm so she could remove the IV.

“How long will I have to stay with this splint?” she asked, already thinking it to be uncomfortable.

“The situation was quite serious when Junmyeon brought you here.” explained Taeyeon. “I did my best, but... Well, our technology is not as advanced as yours.”

Yours.

Of course. They thought of her as a member of the X-EXO team, too.

“I believe you’ll need to be with it for at least a few days.” Taeyeon continued.

Irene sighed, knowing she would say that.

“I can’t be here…” she said, mostly to herself.

If Taeyeon heard that, she chose not to comment on it.

“There are some crutches here, in case you want to walk.” she told Irene. “But it’s better if you don’t force this leg, or it could get worse.”

Irene nodded, watching the doctor leave the room - and not really understanding how all of this could be happening to her.

----------------------

The next day, nothing different happened.

Irene stayed on the bed, mostly because she couldn’t do anything besides sleeping and thinking about the situation she was.

Nobody went to the room, except for the girls that brought her meals and Taeyeon, that came to see how she was. Irene asked herself what they wanted, taking care of her like this.

Was she a hostage? She wondered what they would do if she left the room. The door wasn’t locked, and apparently no one was keeping watch. That thought remained in her mind, but Irene quickly pushed it away. She couldn't go very far in that state, and adding to that, she knew that the less she forced her leg, the faster she could recover.

So, she tried to bear with the boredom of those hours.

At some point in the night, after she had eaten dinner, it started to rain. Irene listened to the sound of raindrops on the window for a while, until she decided to get up to look.

She’d already gotten used to the crutches, having used them to go to the bathroom a few times, so it wasn't difficult to walk to the window. The view didn't say much about where she was - just the deserted landscape that was common in the city. She leaned against the wall, watching as the rain increased.

There was a knock on the door, and Irene turned to look.

Junmyeon was standing at the entrance, holding something.

“It gets pretty cold when it rains at night,” he started to explain. “so I brought this blanket.”

Irene said nothing, and he entered the room, leaving the blanket on the bed. He looked at her, and seemed almost hesitant - which was extremely unusual for her, who was used to Suhø’s confident posture.

“How are you?” he finally asked.

She still didn’t understand why he cared about that.

“I’m fine.” she paused, and looked at the bed. In truth, it had started to get cold. “Thank you for the blanket.”

Junmyeon nodded, and then came over so he could look out the window too - but he kept his distance from her.

“I heard you don’t eat all your meals.” he commented. “Don’t you like the food? We’re not putting anything inside it.”

Irene glanced at him.

“That’s not it.”

Junmyeon didn't press her, and once again, Irene wondered why he was acting like this.

“You can walk around if you want. You’re not a prisoner.”

Irene frowned.

“Are you sure of that?”

“You didn’t invade or territory. You were left to die-“

“I wasn’t left to die.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, until Irene looked away.

“Baëkhyun knew I was there. I just… I just don’t know what happened.”

“Well.” Junmyeon shrugged. “If that’s what you say.”

“Will you let me go?”

Junmyeon looked at her.

“I can’t do that. It’s beyond my hands right now.”

Irene shook her head.

“I don’t understand this.” she looked at him. “You won’t let me go, but at the same time says you’ll not interrogate me.”

He watched her with interest.

“You seem quite eager to be interrogated. Chanyeol would really like that.”

Irene frowned.

“I’m responsible for you.” Junmyeon continued. “I’m the one that has to gather information, but I was going to wait for you to recover a bit more before that.”

“Will you force me, if I don’t tell you anything?”

He shook his head.

“No.”

Irene looked at him, incredulous.

“Do you call this an interrogation?”

Junmyeon lifted the corner of his lips, and she was taken aback by the act.

“I'm not interrogating you right now.” he said. “We're just talking.”

That conversation was extremely disturbing to her.

“Can I ask you something?” Junmyeon kept looking at her, and Irene had to force herself not to look away. She didn’t answer, and he probably took that as an incentive to keep going. “Can I know your name?”

She blinked. Her name? It hadn't happened to her until now that he didn't know that.

She thought about lying. Scientists hardly ever left the Exo'rdium, and it was unlikely that they would fall into the hands of EXO - so there was no protocol for that situation.

But Junmyeon was looking at her, waiting for an answer, and Irene felt like she didn't want to lie about it.

“Irene. My name’s Irene.”

Junmyeon nodded.

“Irene.” he repeated. “It’s nice meeting you.”

And in that moment, she knew that yes, those days would be weirder than she imagined.

--------------------------

“Do you know physical therapy exercises?”

Irene looked at Taeyeon, who was at her side watching what she was doing. The doctor came to visit her earlier that day, and found her doing some leg exercises.

“Yes. It's the basics in one of our classes.”

Taeyeon adjusted her glasses.

“I'm sorry for asking you that, but I've been noticing in some of our conversations that you know a lot about medicine.” She hesitated, before continuing. “Were you a doctor there?”

Irene should’ve been alarmed by the question, but in reality she thought it was about time that someone cared about what she did in the enemy territory. Besides, there was no point in hiding it.

“Yes,” she said. “but in our case, we’re called scientists.”

“Because you take care of… The experiments.”

From the way she spoke, it was obvious she was curious about X-EXO.

“We’re responsible for their health. But I wasn’t there when the cloning process took place.” She made it clear. “So I don't know how the procedures happened, if that's what you want to know.”

Taeyeon shook her head.

“We’re not interested in making clones. Actually, this is the last thing we want to know.”

Irene sat on the bed, tired. She was trying to take a few steps without the crutches, but it was still difficult.

“Don't force yourself. It’s good to take a few steps during the day to train resistance, but too many can make the situation worse.”

Irene nodded, but the topic of the conversation they were having remained in her mind.

“Wouldn't it be a smart move to find out how your enemies were made, so you can fight them?” she asked.

Taeyeon looked at her.

“Is that what you do?”

“We don't need to do this anymore. They’ve been cloned, we have real copies to study.”

The doctor closed her lips in a thin line.

“They’re not the same, I'm sure you noticed this from the little time you spent with them.” She frowned. “These boys have suffered a lot being experimented on.”

To that, Irene couldn’t say anything. She remembered when she had arrived at the Exo'rdium, and no one was allowed to enter the building where the subjects were. But sometimes, when they had classes outside, she saw the flash of some young boys in the building next to hers.

It wasn't until Irene was in her late teens that students were allowed to live in the same space as the boys. They were training to be scientists, so they had to be in contact with the subjects.

Sometimes she forgot how they were made – and how other people were involved to make this happen.

-------------------------

It was raining again. It did nothing but rain on those days, and they were running out of buckets to put under the leaks in the ceiling.

“Mom, I want to go somewhere else!” Joohyun whined. “Why do we have to stay here?”

The woman looked at her, stroking her hair.

“Because here is our home, my darling.”

“I hate this house! Everything is wet, and I can’t sleep on my bed!”

The woman sat next to her, and smiled. Joohyun couldn’t understand that. She was upset, she wanted to leave. Why did they have to live like this?

“Joohyun, we’re very lucky to have a home. Some people in the city have nowhere to stay in this rain, and they suffer from the cold. Here, we’re safe.”

The little girl wiped her tears.

“But mom, everything will be wet here too.”

The woman shook her head.

“There’s always a place here where we can be protected.” she pulled Joohyun closer, hugging her. “If we stay close like this, we won't get wet, huh?”

Joohyun sniffed, snuggling into the embrace, nodding.

“All that matters is that we’re together, do you understand? Together.”

“We love you, my darling. Now go. Go, Joohyun.”

Go.

She ran.

Her legs ached, her lungs were burning.

Everything was dark. When she opened her mouth, there was no air.

She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, she couldn’t-

Irene opened her eyes at once, breathless.

She sat on the bed, feeling dizzy.

She was used to the dreams, but they’d never been so real. She was shaking.

The room was dark, except for a faint light coming from the hall. It was probably still late at night.

Irene looked at the nightstand, seeing the empty water jar they had left to her earlier. Her mouth was dry, and she needed to drink something.

Getting up slowly, she took the crutches to walk. It was the first time Irene would leave that room - which made her a little nervous - but she had no other choice. Besides, Junmyeon said she could walk around, didn’t he?

The hall was long, but everything around it made it feel like a home, different from what looked like hospital halls in the Exo’rdium. Irene wandered, not really knowing where to go. If she saw someone there, she could’ve asked for information, but no one seemed to be awake at that hour.

It was obvious that she was on the ground floor of that building, and Irene wondered if the kitchen was on another floor. There were some stairs in sight, but it would be impossible for her to climb all of them in her condition.

Irene turned another hall, and then heard a sound. A large open door gave way to an outdoor space, and she approached it. Maybe whoever was there could help her...

She went outside, but then stopped.

A dark-haired man was practicing archery, shooting at a target, seeming focused. She would’ve interrupted him, if she didn’t know who he was.

Irene almost thought Sehůn really was there. Even his posture was the same, and she just couldn't move away.

The man made no mistake, all the arrows hitting bullseye. He seemed so concentrated, that Irene thought no distraction would make him go wrong. All his attention was on the target.

People at the Exo'rdium always tried to get Sehůn to use the bow prototype they had developed, but he always denied it. He insisted on saying that he would beat his original without the need of accessories.

But it was obvious how good Sehun was with it. He was so focused - which was probably why Irene didn't expect when he suddenly turned towards her, shooting an arrow.

It was so fast, Irene didn't even have time to scream. She sensed the arrow passing inches from her face, hitting the door beside her.

“Just because I’m not looking at you doesn’t mean I’m not seeing you.” Sehun said.

Irene couldn't move, her heart beating too fast. She only realized how much she was shaking when she was no longer able to hold her crutches, staggering to the side. She leaned against the wall to keep from falling.

“Were you spying on me?” Sehun asked, but the tone was obviously accusatory.

Irene shook her head fast.

“No. I was… I was trying to find the kitchen. I don’t know...”

Sehun moved, and she stopped. He got closer to her, and from that distance, Irene could see his face better.

Dark hair, dark eyes, face without a scar. It triggered a memory on her mind, from a time when Sehůn’s face was like that, too.

His expression was serious, and Irene thought about something people at the Exo’rdium used to say, about how they found Sehůn one of the most intimidating subjects, with that scar on his face. Irene never thought that, and now looking at the boy in front of her, she also couldn't find him intimidating. He just looked young and angry.

“What do you intend being here?” he asked her.

“Nothing.” Irene replied, because it was true.

Sehun frowned.

“Junmyeon hyung seems to think you have no bad intentions, but I still can't trust you.”

She couldn’t blame him.

“I wouldn’t do anything. I can’t do anything.” she paused. “You’re all taking care of me now. I really wasn’t spying on you, I just wanted to get some water. I… Junmyeon told me I could take a walk, if I wanted to.”

Sehun watched her, and he still looked suspicious, but he flexed the arm with the bow on his back.

“The cafeteria is at the end of the hall on the right.”

He then left, and Irene kept standing where she was for a long time, trying to calm her heart, which was still racing.

When she turned to leave, she realized the arrow was stuck right in the middle of the door.

-------------------------------

Obviously, Irene couldn’t sleep when she went back to the room.

The adrenaline was still strong in her body, and she kept repeating the scene in her mind. If Sehun wanted, he could’ve killed her right there, without hesitation. She didn't think he would do that, though, but the thought was thrilling.

After much tossing and turning in bed, Irene managed to fall asleep when the first rays of sunlight were already coming through the window. She had no dreams, but when she woke up it seemed like she hadn't slept at all.

Irene blinked a few times before opening her eyes, and saw someone standing next to the bedside table. Junmyeon seemed startled when he saw her looking at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Irene frowned, sitting on the bed slowly. She still felt tired.

“No…” she said, and then paused. “What are you doing here?”

Junmyeon scratched the back of his head with his free hand - in the other, he was holding a book.

“I came here to give you this.”

He held out the book, and she took it. It was old, the pages were turning yellow. There were flowers on the cover, and the title was peeling off.

“I didn't know what you liked, so... Well, it's a poetry book.” Irene looked at him. “You must be bored spending your days here with nothing to do, so I figured it would be nice to have something to spend time with.”

There he was again, being considerate. Irene didn’t know how to react, because really, that wasn’t a normal situation. That man had every reason to be indifferent to her, but against all odds, he came up to her room and brought her a book.

“Thank you.” she said, meaning it. “I… I’ll read it.”

Junmyeon nodded, but remained standing where he was. It seemed like he wanted to say something else, and Irene thought that maybe the book was an excuse for that.

“Hm, Sehun told me you spoke with him last night.”

Of course.

Irene turned on the defensive mode.

“I wasn’t spying on him…”

“I know.” He told her. “I know. Actually, I wanted to apologize for his behavior. But I think you understand.”

Irene left the book on the nightstand.

“Of course I do. I’m the enemy, am I not?”

Junmyeon seemed a little bothered by that question.

“You must’ve been startled because of him.”

She remembered the scene again, and almost flinched.

“Well, I wasn't expecting that. It's not like I'm used to being shot with an arrow in the middle of the night.”

“Sehunie has very good reflexes. He would’ve never hurt you, unless he wanted to.”

Irene raised a brow.

“Isn’t that the point?”

Junmyeon gave a half smile.

“I guess it is.”

That made Irene even more confused. Was he really playing with the situation they were in? This man was messing with her mind.

A knock on the door stopped her from continuing that trail of thought.

“Excuse me.” the girl that used to bring her breakfast said, entering the room.

“Well, I’ll leave you to eat your breakfast in peace.” Junmyeon said. “Feel free to leave the book there if you don’t like it.”

“I don't think I have many entertainment options here.” She said, and stopped for a second. “I'll definitely read it, thank you.”

Junmyeon smiled lightly before leaving, and Irene kept telling herself that the warm feeling that remained with her during the morning was because of the soup.

---------------------------

Unlike the others, that day really seemed more productive for Irene - as far as it was possible, of course.

Taeyeon came to visit her, to check on her recovery and help with the exercises. Irene even walked a little in the hall, even though she had to lean against the wall a few times.

She also took a few naps during the day, to recover from that bad night's sleep - and incredibly, she was hungry enough to eat all her meals in full.

But the main point of that day was the book.

Irene liked to read, but most of the books she had in her room at the Exo’rdium were about science, medicine, and some on mathematics. She couldn't remember the last time she took a book and read it just for the pleasure of reading.

So, through that day, she read. Irene didn’t expect that she would like a poetry book so much, but found herself rereading a few pages several times, just because the poem was interesting. She didn't want to stop reading it, and at the same time, she didn't want it to end.

At night, after eating dinner and taking a shower, Irene picked up the book again, to finish her reading. She wondered if Junmyeon would bring her another one, when she finished this one. The thought, somehow, excited her.

It was well into the night when Irene heard the commotion.

People were talking loudly, there was a mix of voices - some that she recognized. Through the open door she saw people rushing by, and she frowned, finding it strange. She got up, going to the door.

Two girls were running holding clothes that looked stained with blood.

“Hey, hey!” Irene called, and the girls stopped. She recognized them, they were the ones that brought her meals during the day. “What happened? Why is everyone running?”

The girls looked at each other, probably not sure whether to say anything.

“It’s just that…” one of them started.

“Don’t say anything to her!” the other interrupted.

“But I heard her talking with Taeyeon unnie! She’s a scientist!”

“Yes I am.” Irene interrupted. “What happened?”

The younger girl bit her bottom lip.

“There was another fight at the border. Junmyeon oppa...” she stopped, starting to cry, being comforted by the other girl.

“What?” Irene insisted

“He’s hurt.” the girl that wasn’t crying said. “They took him to the medical floor.”

An alarm went off in her mind, and Irene started to move before thinking about what she was doing.

She knew it was better not to get involved in this, that it was better to go back to her room and pretend she hadn't heard any of it. But Irene just couldn't do it. It was as if her body acted on his own.

Irene remembered that in a conversation with Taeyeon, the doctor told her the medical rooms were on the first floor. With the crutches, it was difficult to climb the stairs, but Irene didn't hesitate. She tried as hard as she could, and was sweating when she got to the floor.

There was a room at the beginning of the hall, and through the glass, Irene could see the EXO members inside, looking at a stretcher - where Junmyeon was lying, and Taeyeon was opening his vest.

She didn’t knock before coming in.

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asked, but Irene ignored him, trying to look at Junmyeon on the stretcher.

He was lying on his stomach, and when Taeyeon removed his vest, Irene saw that his back was completely burned. He groaned.

She tried to get closer, but Sehun stopped her.

“What are you doing?”

“Just let me...” she tried to move again, and this time Chanyeol pushed her away from the stretcher.

The move made her lose balance and the hold on the crutches, falling on the floor.

“Get out of here!” Screamed Chanyeol.

“I can help him!” Irene said, almost desperately.

“You’re kidding, right? Your X-EXO did this to him!”

“That’s exactly why I can help him!” She didn’t back down. “He was burned by Chanyeøl, wasn’t, he?” Some of the boys looked at each other, and Irene kept talking. “I developed a serum that helps the process of healing. I can help him!”

There was a moment of consideration between the boys.

“How can we know you’re not lying?” Jongdae asked.

“She is lying!” Chanyeol interrupted.

“I'm not lying! You must have seen Sehůn today, haven't you? Wasn’t he fine? It's because I applied the serum the day that you burned him!”

The room was silent.

“Hyung.” Jongin started. “He was fine. We all saw him… Maybe she can help.”

Chanyeol growled, moving away. No one else said anything, and Jongin came closer to Irene, helping her to her feet and handing her the crutches.

“Can you really help him?” he asked, and Irene nodded, getting closer to the bed.

Junmyeon's back was raw, probably worse than Sehůn’s that day. He seemed unconscious, but was a little agitated.

“They gave him one of the pills.” Taeyeon explained. “But I... I've never seen anything like this. Can you really...”

“Yes.” Irene answered. “Do you have a lab in here?”

Taeyeon nodded. The two didn’t wait and left the boys in the room, going to the lab.

Irene didn't have to make much effort, she knew the formula by heart. She had spent months working on it, and Chanyeøl had enough fun burning his colleagues in the tests. The formula had been done for a purpose - but Irene never imagined she would use it for the opposite reason.

Taeyeon helped in what she could, bringing everything Irene needed. There was only one ingredient that the two had to ask Jongin to get - which was fast enough - and in half an hour they were leaving the lab with the serum ready.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun had left the room when they returned. Sehun was on the side of the bed holding Junmyeon's hand, and Jongin and Jongdae were standing further apart, watching.

Irene went to the side of the bed, and Taeyeon kept her distance, trusting what she was going to do. She opened the bottle with the serum, and slowly poured it on the man's back.

Junmyeon screamed, fidgeting on the stretcher.

“What have you done to him?” Sehun asked, nervous

“Even if he's half asleep, it still hurts.” Irene said. “But it's normal. Tomorrow, he will be much better, and in two days there will be no scars on his back.”

“Should we cover the wounds?” Taeyeon asked

“Let the serum work for a few minutes, and then you can treat it like a normal burn.”

Taeyeon nodded and walked away to get what she needed. Jongin got close to the stretcher, looking with sad eyes at the unconscious man.

“Is he really going to be okay?”

Irene looked at him.

“Yes. I can assure you that.”

Jongin nodded, his expression full of concern.

Irene looked at Junmyeon, who had calmed down. She was always a logical person, she knew that the serum would work, there was no doubt.

But in that moment, that knowledge couldn’t stop the tightness in her heart.

--------------------------

The next three days seemed to drag on.

Even if Irene wanted to, she didn't go back to the medical floor. She knew that the boys would be there all the time, and the last thing they would want was to see her there. She respected that.

Taeyeon came to visit her normally, to see how her leg was doing, and told her about Junmyeon's recovery. He was getting better every day, and knowing that at that moment was enough for Irene.

Jongin also showed up, one afternoon. He talked to her for a while, told her how Junmyeon was doing.

“It's incredible, noona.” he said, referring to the effect of the serum. “The marks are almost gone. And I know it's not easy, because I still have some scars on my arms from when Chanyeøl burned me that day.”

Irene told him she could make a little more of the serum for him, and the boy smiled, excited. Jongin had started calling her “noona this, noona that” and she didn’t find it in her heart to stop him. Something about him being so young and innocent was growing on her.

He also said that she could go to the medical floor if she wanted to. Irene refused it, but thanked him for coming to see her.

In that way, she tried to deal with her days. Irene continued to think about the incident, and always wondered what would’ve happened to Junmyeon if she hadn't been there. It was clear that the Exo’rdium had more technology, but were the people in the Elyxion really that vulnerable? Why did they continue to fight, if there were so many risks?

She couldn’t understand that, just as she couldn’t understand several things in this place.

In the rest of her time, Irene continued to read the book. Even when she finished it, she kept rereading it. There was something about that book that left her in peace. Especially that one poem, which was stuck in her mind since she had read it.

Bring me warm rain

and lavender

and you

I want you most of all.

She kept staring at the page. Irene had never thought about that, of how the lavender flower was so small and discrete - but you only needed one to make the whole place smell like it.

That made her think of him.

There was a knock on the door, and Irene turned her head – just to see Junmyeon standing at the entrance of her room.

“Can I come in?”

She couldn’t find the voice to answer him. She wasn't supposed to be that surprised, but Irene really wasn't expecting him to show up there. Her heart was beating too fast.

Junmyeon didn’t wait for her to answer, entering the room. He wasn’t wearing the combat clothes he used to, but something similar to hers - sweatpants and a cotton shirt. His hair was damp, as if he just came out of the shower.

“You’re still reading this?” he asked, looking at the book on her lap. “I can’t tell if you liked it or are just reading it slowly because it’s so bad.”

Irene put herself together.

“What are you doing here?” she finally said. “You should be resting.”

Junmyeon looked at her.

“I think you know better than everybody that I’m fine.” she didn't answer that, and his expression softened. “Do you want to take a walk?”

She should’ve said no - she should’ve - but Irene couldn't find the words to deny it. Especially when he asked her that way. So she nodded, and got out of bed.

Irene imagined that the Elyxion compound was large, but she had no idea how much, until Junmyeon took her out of the room. Close to the training area she saw Sehun the other night, there was another common outdoor area, with a huge garden. There were several people around, walking, talking, playing. With each step she took, Irene was even more surprised.

“It’s nice, right?” he asked, noticing her expression.

“It’s beautiful.” she said, looking around. “How do you maintain it?” That was a very honest question. With the city destroyed by war, places like this were hard to find.

“There are some people responsible for looking after the garden specifically. Everybody likes this place, so we try our best.”

Irene nodded. They continued walking and looking around - Junmyeon slowing down to keep up with her pace with the crutches.

“Thank you.” he said, suddenly, and Irene looked at him. “Jongin told me what you did.”

She looked away, feeling a bit nervous.

“It’s ok.”

“No, it's not.” He touched her arm lightly, to make her stop. “It seems impossible that my back is almost completely healed after the state it was. I'm sure you saved my life.”

Irene shook her head.

“You did the same for me.”

They looked at each other.

Irene wasn't sure what was going on. She wasn't even sure if that was supposed to happen, whatever it was. But maybe she was thinking too much. He’d saved her, and she did the same.

Two children ran between them, and Junmyeon gave her a smile, scratching the back of his neck.

“Should we keep going?”

Irene nodded, a hint of a smile on her face.

As they continued to walk, she saw, not far from them, Baekhyun and Chanyeol sitting on a bench. The silver-haired boy was saying something and the other was laughing, almost falling off the bench.

“He's always overreacting.” Junmyeon commented, looking in the same direction as her.

“I never thought he was capable of laughing like this.”

Junmyeon smiled.

“Chanyeol isn’t a serious person in any way. He just gets pretty defensive when you’re around.”

Irene looked at Junmyeon.

“He can literally burn me to ashes.”

The red-haired man continued to look at his friends.

“Chanyeol suffered a lot, probably more than all of us. He hates anyone who is connected to the Red Force.”

Like Junmyeon, Irene looked at the scene. Baekhyun was smiling at Chanyeol, and he had a soft expression on his face, brushing the hair out of the other’s eyes. They were holding hands.

“Baekhyun’s a good relief for all of us, but he has always been Chanyeol's strength. They like each other very much.”

She could see that. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other. Irene never knew much about love, the feeling being foreign to her - but she was sure that was it.

“I've been thinking,” Junmyeon continued, and Irene looked at him. “maybe you could come and have your meals in the cafeteria.”

Irene blinked. That was random.

Going to the cafeteria? The thought was actually nice - getting out of the room, doing other things. But at the same time, that was part of their routine, and she wondered if it would look like an intrusion.

“I…” she hesitated. “I don’t know…”

“You’ll be welcome, don’t think otherwise.” Junmyeon assured her. “Everybody’s grateful for what you did. Chanyeol too, even though he would never say that.”

Irene had to laugh at that, and when she looked to the side, Junmyeon was already looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat up and looked away - the two of them continuing to walk.

-------------------------

Irene looked at herself in the bathroom mirror for the third time that morning.

That was ridiculous. Why was she so worried about going to the cafeteria? She would just eat and then leave, there was nothing more to it. It wasn’t like they would throw her away… Or would they?

Irene shook her head, pushing those thoughts away. The girl who usually brought her breakfast was late, and she wondered if Junmyeon had told her to be late, to give Irene a chance to go to the cafeteria.

“Don’t overthink it”.

She picked up her crutches, and before she could change her mind, Irene left the room.

People at the Elyxion seemed to be getting used to Irene's presence there, not caring too much when they saw her walking down the halls. She couldn't say she didn't like it - doing things without looking like she was being watched was nice.

Despite that, her going to the cafeteria wasn’t a common sight, and all eyes turned to her as soon as she walked in. In the middle of the room, the EXO members were sitting at a table, bodies turned in her direction. Junmyeon looked pleased, but she didn't wait to see what he was going to do, moving quickly to get a tray.

There was just one problem. She didn't think it would be so difficult to do that while she leaned on her crutches.

“Hey, noona.” Jongin appeared on her side, startling her. Did he teleport over there? “Can I help you with that?”

She didn't really say yes, but he was already picking up a tray for her. Irene blinked, a little taken aback as she answered him when he asked her what she wanted to eat.

When they were done, Jongin started to move to the EXO table, but Irene stopped him.

“I’ll sit over there.” she told him, pointing at an empty table a little far away.

It looked like he wanted to protest, but Jongin just nodded, carrying the tray to the table. When Irene sat down, she saw Junmyeon leaving his spot and approaching them.

“You came.”

It was just a fact, but his expression was so bright that she couldn't think for a second.

“Hm, yes. I don't think it’s going to hurt.”

Junmyeon sat in front of her.

“Of course it won’t. I said you would be welcome.”

Irene glanced at the EXO table, who didn't look so excited with her presence.

“Don’t mind them.” Jongin said. “They’re just jealous.”

Irene turned to him. “Jealous”?

Junmyeon cleared his throat, and the younger said nothing more.

“So,” Junmyeon changed the subject. “Taeyeon said she would examine you today to see if you can remove the splint.”

Irene sighed.

“Yes. I can't take any more walking with these crutches. I can't wait to get rid of them.”

“But are you sure you're okay? Don't you feel any pain?”

“Just a little. But I think it will be fine if I continue the exercises. Anyway, we will only know when we remove the splint and analyze the situation.”

Junmyeon nodded.

“Noona,” Jongin started. “if you’re ok, will you be able to make that serum for me?”

Irene smiled lightly.

“I’ll speak to Taeyeon about it.”

Junmyeon looked confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Irene noona said she would make me some anti-burn serum, to get rid of the marks left on my arms.”

The red-haired man frowned.

“You shouldn't be bothering her.”

“Come on, hyung. Your back is completely healed.”

Junmyeon said nothing, and Irene looked at him. As a doctor, she would’ve liked to see the healing process, to see how he was doing - but in that situation, she couldn't just ask him to take off his shirt and show his back.

“It's all right.” She assured him. “It's not too difficult, I can do a little more.”

Junmyeon smiled slightly and Irene looked away, paying attention to her food.

------------------------

In the early afternoon, Irene went to Taeyeon's office. It was a little earlier than they had scheduled, but she was so eager to remove that splint that she couldn't wait in her room.

The office door was open, but when she got closer, Irene saw that someone was already inside. Baekhyun was sitting on a stretcher, and Taeyeon was taking care of what appeared to be a cut on his arm.

The boy kept talking nonstop, but even when she concentrated on what she was doing, Taeyeon paid attention to his every word. She smiled a few times, the smiles discreet, looking at his face when the boy wasn’t paying attention.

Maybe Irene was seeing too much of some things because her mind was so free these days – or maybe it could be because of that poetry book – but she was sure at that moment that Taeyeon liked Baekhyun.

Taeyeon finished what she was doing and Baekhyun moved his arm, flinching a little, probably because it hurt.

“Don’t move too much or you will open the stitches.”

“Alright, sorry.” Baekhyun touched his arm. “Thank you, noona. You saved me again.”

He smiled at her, and Taeyeon shook her head, looking down. Her cheeks were a soft pink, and she adjusted the glasses on her face.

“It’s alright.”

Someone passed Irene by the door, entering the room quickly - interrupting the scene. Chanyeol stopped beside the stretcher, looking at Baekhyun with concern.

“What happened, Baek? They told me you were here.”

“It’s nothing.” Baekhyun reassured him. “I was just training with Sehunie.”

“Did he hit you with an arrow on purpose?”

“Well...” Baekhyun bit his lower lip. “I did tease him that he wouldn't be able to hit me when I was running.”

Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head.

“But I’m fine now, Taeyeon noona took care of me.”

“Just make sure he doesn’t move his arm too much.” she told Chanyeol.

“I will definitely make sure of that.” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun got off the stretcher.

“Thanks again, noona.” he said to Taeyeon, before following Chanyeol out of the room.

The two stopped when they saw Irene at the door, but Chanyeol just continued on his way without saying anything, while Baekhyun smiled and said a "hello" before leaving. Only then Taeyeon noticed she was there.

“Oh. Irene, I'm sorry to keep you waiting...” she said, and then hesitated. “Have you been here for a long time...?”

Irene thought about saying the truth, but that would mean she would’ve seen the previous scene, with Baekhyun - and she was sure Taeyeon wouldn't want to talk about it.

“No.” she shook her head. “I just got here.”

“Alright…” she paused. “So, let’s see if you can take off this splint?”

Irene nodded.

She had a feeling that her leg would no longer be swollen, and when Taeyeon removed the splint, they could see she was right. It was clear the Elyxion didn’t have as much technology as the Exo’rdium, but their techniques were also good. Irene could feel that her leg was much better.

They still did some tests, pressing her leg and walking, and although it still hurt a little, it was tolerable. Irene could walk normally, just limping a little, but without the help of crutches.

“You know you need to continue exercising daily to be completely well.” Taeyeon told her. “Also, I don't think you're going to do that, but don't push yourself too hard, and don't run around or anything.”

Irene nodded, not believing that running could really be an option now.

“I won’t. Thank you, Taeyeon.”

When she left the room, Irene felt the best she had ever been all those days.

Being restricted was terrible, and now walking through the halls was much easier and much more satisfying. Irene suddenly thought of Junmyeon - she wanted to tell him, show him. It was such a strong thought that she didn't stop herself from looking for him in the compound.

Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight - and Irene didn't want to ask anyone, because she knew it would sound strange. In the end, she just walked through the garden, feeling the late afternoon chilly breeze, and thinking about the last time she walked there with Junmyeon.

She was so lost in thought that she almost didn’t see Jongdae, playing chess on a table not far from where she was. Irene stopped, the familiar scene startling her for a moment.

Of all the boys, she would say that Jongdae was the most different.

Where Chën had a perfect posture, with perfectly fitted clothes and slick styled hair, Jongdae just seemed more carefree - practical and simple, with curly hair covering his forehead in a messy way.

He suddenly looked to the side - at her - and Irene didn't know whether to stay there or leave.

“Do you want to play?” he asked, surprising her.

That scene, too, looked like a deja-vú. Despite that, she nodded.

She sat across from him, watching the boy put the pieces back together. Chën never did that, he liked that she played from where he left off.

“Do you know how to play?”

Irene nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then you can start.”

Irene wasn't sure why he wanted her company. It was clear that he was more open to her presence than Chanyeol or Sehun, but he never seemed to express that - until now.

She moved a piece.

Jongdae looked at the board for some time before moving one, too.

The two played a few rounds in silence, until he seemed surprised by a move Irene made.

“Nice play. I didn't think you guys would have time for trivial hobbies like this one.”

Irene watched him play.

“It's a logical game, it helps with mind control. We all had some lessons on that.”

Jongdae was silent for a moment.

“Does he play too?”

Irene didn't expect him to ask about Chën, but then, nothing was being predictable here.

“Yes.” she said. “It’s one of his favorite things to do.”

Jongdae raised the corner of his lips.

“Besides stalking people with his cameras?”

He had made a move that Irene wasn't sure how to overcome. She thought about it and moved a piece without answering the question.

“Why does he never show up in combat?” Jongdae asked, and Irene looked at him. He was frowning, and she knew that matter bothered him enough for him to ask her.

“Chën is very smart. He prefers to use his mind in strategy than his body in combat.”

Jongdae was still frowning.

“He doesn't use his thunder?”

“Yes, but only if he needs to. I believe that Chën wants to win with something that...” She paused “Well, that’s not someone else's.”

Jongdae seemed unbothered by that.

“Good time to have these principles.” he murmured, before moving a piece. “Check Mate.”

Irene looked at the board, seeing how fast he had changed the game - and wondered what would happen if him and Chën faced each other.

--------------------------

The night came, and Irene still hadn’t seen Junmyeon.

She hoped she would have met him in the cafeteria at dinner time, but he wasn’t there. EXO's table was also not full - only Baekhyun, Jongdae and Sehun were there. Irene sat down with Taeyeon and a few other people from the medical center, but wasn’t hungry to eat all of her dinner.

Later in her room, Irene thought about trying to sleep early, but she didn't feel tired at all, and decided to take a hot shower and try to relax. As she was leaving the bathroom, there was a knock on the door - and her heart skipped a beat.

Her whole body was telling her – was wishing – that it was going to be him, but Irene tried not to put her hopes up when she went to open the door – and saw Junmyeon standing there.

“Hi. I wasn’t sure if you would be sleeping... You weren’t, right?”

Irene shook her head. She didn't know why she was so pleased to see him there, and they continued to look at each other - but Junmyeon was awkward, holding a plate with what looked like cake in his hands.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked, and he nodded.

Junmyeon entered the room, Irene closing the door behind them, and it was the first time that the two were alone like this. The realization hit her, and there was a moment of tension in the room.

“This is a cake from the cafeteria.” He explained, breaking the silence. “It's my favorite, so I stole a piece, but... I don't know if you'd like...”

Irene watched him.

“I ate a lot at dinner, today.” she told him.

“Ah.” Junmyeon blinked. “Ah, it's okay. I just... Well...” He frowned, looking down, and seemed to notice her leg. “You removed the splint.”

Irene followed his gaze, moving her leg.

“Yes, this afternoon.”

“Are you okay? Doesn’t it hurt?” She shook her head “That's good.”

There was another moment of silence in the room, and Irene didn't really want to say that - but it seemed that she was unable to contain her curiosity those days, especially when it came to Junmyeon.

“I haven't seen you in the building all day.” She commented, without really asking.

“I had to attend some meetings today.” he told her “They went outside the compound, so... It was a little far away.”

Irene knew that the Red Force was the one who determined everything in the Exo'rdium and controlled X-EXO - but it was a mystery to everyone who was behind EXO. She felt like if she asked him, Junmyeon would tell her, but Irene was actually surprised to realize she didn't want to talk about it with him at that moment.

She walked around the room, past him to the nightstand, where the poetry book was.

“I think I should give this back to you.”

Junmyeon looked at the book, and shook his head.

“You can keep it. I have plenty of books in my room.”

Irene didn’t know why, but that didn’t sound strange.

“Do you really like poetry?”

Junmyeon gave her a half smile.

“It's kind of ironic in the times we live in, isn't it?”

She looked at him, feeling something deep about it.

“Not really.” she said, meaning it.

Junmyeon seemed taken aback by that, and the mood in the room changed.

“Can I ask you which one is your favorite, if you have one?”

Irene hesitated, but sat on the bed and opened the book, looking for the page. She noticed when Junmyeon sat next to her, leaving the plate with the cake on the nightstand.

She found the lavender poem, and showed it to him. Junmyeon looked at the page with a light smile, and Irene was unable to look away from him.

“I like this one a lot, too.”

“Do you have a favorite?”

Junmyeon eyed her, and started flipping through the book again until he stopped on a page. Irene saw the title, "Always".

“Do you mind if I read it out loud?” Junmyeon asked.

She shook her head.

“No.”

Junmyeon seemed to concentrate, and Irene watched every detail in his expression as he read.

“You were you, and I was I; we were two, before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mine too.”

It was such a small poem, a quick reading - but the depth it had, the depth she felt from Junmyeon was so intense, it was almost too much for Irene.

“That was my parent’s favorite.” Junmyeon said, before finally looking back at her.

Irene knew she should’ve moved, that she should’ve said something, but it was impossible. His voice still reverberated in her ears, and now that he was looking at her, everything around seemed out of focus.

She didn't notice her body leaning towards him - or maybe it was him who was approaching her? Irene didn't know. But they were close, and she could see every detail of his face.

Junmyeon had a small scar on his lower lip. It was so small that it couldn't be noticed unless you were close, like this. His eyes were almost hidden behind the red hair, and Irene’s fingers were itching to get it out of the way.

“Irene...”

Hearing the soft tone of his voice made her realize what was about to happen, all the warnings in her mind going off.

Were they about to kiss?

Irene moved away, getting up from the bed. Her mind was still fuzzy, but she had to get a grip of herself.

What was going on?

“Irene?”

She looked at Junmyeon. He looked confused, still sitting on the bed.

“I think I need to sleep.” She said, suddenly. “I... Thanks for the cake. But I'm tired, I... I need to sleep.”

Junmyeon kept quiet for a few moments, but then stood up, without pressuring her. He also knew what would have happened, so why wasn't he questioning her? This confused Irene even more.

“Alright.” He said, leaving the book on the bed. “You can send it back to the cafeteria if you don't want to.” He continued, referring to the cake.

And after looking at her one more time, Junmyeon left the room.

Irene sat on the bed again, feeling weak.

What was happening to her? She wasn’t like that.

Even when she was involved with Sehůn, Irene knew it wasn’t right. She knew that being with a subject wasn’t good for her job. But Junmyeon? That was even worse.

He was EXO.

He was the enemy. She used to do her best everyday to develop things that would help to destroy him.

And now, against all odds, she had almost kissed him.

And she wanted to.

That’s what scared her the most.

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willowdrabbles · 5 years

Text

Little bird no more Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Flapping

Word count: 4763

Rating: M (as per usual)

Letting out a loud yelp that sounded like a pup getting its tail stepped on, Kagome jumped from her sitting place and, with a wrench in her gut, felt her feet slip on the muddy bank.

"Shit!" She screeched, her arms flailing as her body tilted forward. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered her hand slapping something, hard, but she was too focused on trying to turn herself as she skidded downward.

Closing her eyes and cringing at the impending impact into the water, Kagome felt an arm slip around her waist and a shoulder brace her head as she splashed into the water, drenching her legs and her bum in the cool drink.

Slowly opening her eyes she looked up to her savior, blinking owlishly at the golden irises that met her blue ones.

"Th-thank you Sesshomaru." She said softly as he stood, bringing her with him. All the while sporting an unamused stare. He did not remove his arm from around her waist once she stood, as if holding her there in case she took a second tumble.

"Aw man… Sango just gave me these." Kagome frowned at her slightly muddy legs and assumed her butt looked the same. She saw the mud on Sesshomaru's pants as well, being lightly brushed off with the current of the river, and looked at him again. "I am so sorry Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru made a small grunting noise. "It is a wonder you have not lost limbs yet priestess."

"Kagome." She said automatically, using the lapping water to wipe away some of the mud. It soaked her further but she figured she was here, might as well wash off while she could even if she froze to death. She paused in her splashing to glance at him, eyes flickering between his empty sleeve and his face. "Wait was that a joke?"

Sesshomaru did not respond, stepping closer now that she seemed finished with washing the immediate mud from her clothes. His arm further curled around her waist, fingers gently gripping into her hip and holding her close.

Kagome, unsure of what was happening, felt her tongue stutter as she tried to question him.

Before she could fully form a sentence though, they both launched from the river and landed solidly on the bank, much further up than she had been sitting before. Kagome shivered with the breeze on her cold wet legs, and silently stared in wonder as Sesshomaru's pelt once more curved over her shoulders and wrapped around her like a tortilla.

"I feel like a fluffy burrito." She muttered, clamping a hand over her mouth when she realized she had spoken out loud. Peeking at Sesshomaru, she was shocked to see an expression of mild confusion on his face.

"A.. Burrito?" Though he had some other ideas in mind as to what he could say she looked like, his subconscious beast purring in absolute satisfaction at the sight of her in his pelt, there was no way he could say she looked like a burrito not knowing what it was. She was however comfortable looking in his opinion.

"Ah… it's a food from another continent, usually meat and beans and rice rolled in a…" how the hell does one describe a tortilla? "Like a thin flat pastry kinda thing?" Kagome shrugged, feeling the white pelt tickle her chin as she did so. "I might be able to learn how to make it. Or bring some with me someday." She suggested, noticing his face had not changed while she offered her minimal explanation.

"Hn. Come." Sesshomaru uttered as he turned with a flourish of silk, Kagome quietly following behind him. The sky was darkening quickly with the cloud cover, blood red sky peeking over hills on the horizon where the clouds ended, giving Kagome's human eyes plenty of light to still see as she walked behind the stoic lord. Though perhaps, she began to suspect, not so stoic all the time.

"So have you ever traveled beyond uh… This continent?" Kagome queried, burying her hands into the fur as they walked and silently let herself be enthralled by the texture.

"The vanishing Island of half demon children. I have had no reason to go further."

Kagome pursed her lips and nodded. "Yeah, if you have no interest in going then why go? I get that." She nodded, noticing he had slowed to allow her to walk beside him.

"No requirement yet. My father made treaties with the demons across the sea many years ago, long before I was born. They have not breached the treaties, as such I have no need to venture there. Yet."

"So some day?" Kagome tilted her head, earning a small nod from Sesshomaru.

"Yes. Some day my quest for supreme conquest will take me there." He stated simply, making her smile in amusement. Something that did not escape his notice. "That amuses you?"

"A little." She admitted. "I've never known the appeal for supreme conquest."

"You do not have the strive nor the capability for such with your short lifespan." Sesshomaru countered.

"Ive seen humans attempt it. Some succeed quite a bit in their time. What I don't get is what seems so great about it."

"What is greater than supreme conquest?" Sesshomaru shot at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Someone to share it with for one." Sesshomaru glared, and she rolled her eyes. "One day you'll get it. Besides, if you conquer everything then what?"

His face relaxed mildly as he considered her question. "Then you rule." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

Kagome shook her head "No I mean… The part of completing a life goal is to move on to the next. What is the point if you've conquered everything, then there's nothing left to see.

There was several minutes of quiet contemplation on his end before he quietly responded. "We shall see."

Kagome hummed, appreciating their talks more and more. Sango was great to share her secrets and worries with, Miroku was a wonderful conversationalist when his hand did not wander, and Shippo to her was still only a child. Inuyasha… the corners of her lips slightly curved down.

Inuyasha… All they seemed to talk about lately was Kikyo Naraku and jewel shards. That is if they spent a few minutes not fighting. Even before it was mostly her chatting and him grunting in response. But there was no inkling to what he was thinking, if anything at all.

Sesshomaru however, seemed to give her just enough to have an idea of his response. She had to conclude, not a stoic lord after all.

"Your mind wanders to my little brother." Sesshomaru's voice jolted her from thought, and she whipped her head to stare at him. Unphased, Sesshomaru blinked at her and quipped out an answer to the question in her eyes. "You retain a peculiar expression when he comes to your mind."

Kagome huffed in irritation "You can't know that."

"Anyone with the observation of a rock would know that." Sesshomaru quipped back.

She sped up Her steps to come to a stop in front of him, pointing a finger at his chest as she did so l-listen here buster! I-" her words died as she saw the tiny little quirks at the corners of his lips. They were small, but noticeable all the same. "You… you're joking again!"

"You are sufficiently easy to distract, Miko." Sesshomaru's tiny amused smile did not leave his face as he spoke, his eyes slowly starting to reveal his amusement shining in them. As Kagome puffed up to retort, his amusement fell and his feet halted. "We have arrived at your village."

Kagome blinked and turned around, confirming indeed that they had arrived back just on the outskirts of the village. The sky was now dark, and lanterns and torches had been lit. Kaede's hut was glowing from within, and all around her she could smell the mouthwatering scent of the villagers preparing their evening meals.

"Oh.. So we have…. Everyone's prepping dinner-" Kagome turned around and noticed he was walking off again. "Hey!" She scampered after him, pulling his pelt around her shoulders as she did, though the thing seemed intent on clinging to her. Sesshomaru watched her fuss with and sighed.

"Keep mokomoko for the evening. You shall not catch ill this night." Sesshomaru started to turn away again.

Kagome stammered in his offer, though she found it difficult to disagree that his 'mokomoko' or whatever would keep her incredibly warm through the night and her wet clothes. She wanted to disagree but found herself lacking, thinking of what would happen if she did catch a cold. The spark died in her and she withheld her own sigh. "Right. Can't afford to catch a cold and hold up the shard hunt any more." Kagome muttered. Looking down and away.

Because her gaze was cast to the side, she did not see him stop once more. "The hunt for the jewel is of no concern to me."

'Right, he only concerns about Naraku. Same thing really.' Kagome blinked and took a deep breath, putting aside her hurt and turning away from the Daiyoukai and heading towards Kaede's hut once more. She glanced over her shoulder once more to see Sesshomaru standing there watching her with an unreadable expression. "Thank you Sesshomaru." She said softly before continuing on her way.

Just as she felt the aura of the dog demon dissipate, she heard the wonderful familiar cries of the children she had come to adore. Shippo and Rin barred across the grass to stop in front of her, grinning widely and welcoming her back, for Shippo welcoming her back again.

"Hey Rin, how have you been?" Kagome smiled at her as the trio made their way back.

"I have been well thank you Kagome! My lord showed me his Shiro where he has hoards of scrolls of history! Then we came back and he began training Shippo and I even get to watch! Why are you wearing mokomoko lady Kagome?" Rin tilted her head as they walked, making Kagome giggle.

"I fell in the river. Sesshomaru was kind enough to make sure I was warm." She said diplomatically. Shippo frowned and said nothing, escaping Kagome's notice.

"That is unfortunate! But that was very thoughtful of lord Sesshomaru." Rin paused for a breath then jumped as though a thought had just occurred to her. "Lady Kagome! Did you get the flowers I left for you? They were to thank you for saving me!"

Kagome felt as if she paled considerably. "You… were the one that left me flowers?" She asked quietly.

Rin's smile faltered at her expression and she nodded. "I am sorry… did you not like them?"

Kagome frantically shook her head and reached out to brush her fingers through rins hair without disturbing her ponytail. "No no I loved them! I just didn't know they were from you!"

Rin perked up again, easily appeased. "Oh that's alright! I am just happy you liked them!"

They had just arrived at Kaede's hut, pushing the screen aside, the trio were quietly greeted by their comrades who all sat around the hearth, focused on eating what looked like a hearty stew dinner. Kagome's mouth watered and she spotted her bag, right next to Sango. Thinking back, she vaguely remembered it slipping from her shoulder when she sat Inuyasha, and was glad someone had grabbed it.

It was abnormally quiet, until her eyes landed on Inuyasha in the far corner. He had a look of pure shock and bubbling anger on his face. She was about to ask him what his deal was when he burst, making everyone except Shippo jerk in surprise.

"The fuck are you wearing that bastards pelt for?!" Inuyasha practically snarled, looking like he was ready to leap from his sitting position.

Everyone looked up to Kagome, blinking as they all realized that Kagome was indeed wearing the big fluffy thing that normally adorned Sesshomaru. All eyes focused on her made Kagome stammer with nervousness. "I uh… I fell in the river." She wrung her hands together before sitting down.

"Are you alright Kagome? Did Sesshomaru help you and that's why you are wearing that?" Sango, as graceful as ever, steered the topic to a safer direction as she poured Kagome a bowl of stew before offering it to her.

Kagome grabbed the bowl gratefully and nodded. "He did, and gave me this to keep warm."

"Bullshit! That thing is probably gonna possess you or some shit!" Inuyasha stood and stomped over to kagome, when she saw his hand reach out she snapped at him.

"Sit!" She humphed at him when he planted into the floorboards, "Don't be rude Inuyasha! He got wet too trying to keep me from falling and was nice enough to offer me this…"

"Mokomoko!" Rin added helpfully, promptly stuffing her face with more stew immediately.

"Mokomoko, thank you Rin. He's probably going to travel with us since he offered to help train me and Shippo and you're just gonna have to get used to him being around!"

"Really now?" Miroku asked, genuinely surprised as he chewed his food and looked at kagome curiously. Everyone else except Shippo shared such looks with her and she felt heat rush to her face. 'I guess I haven't told them that…'

"You've gotta be-!"

"Sit boy." Kagome sighed, not feeling like dealing with his interruptions. "Right.. well when Sesshomaru brought me back to the well two weeks ago, he offered to train me and Shippo. In exchange I also help out with Rin."

Rin looked shocked, but not at all displeased with this information, a glow of joy lighting her up from the inside.

"That actually sounds more than reasonable. The enemies of Naraku won't be as far spread, so when the time comes to face him again we will easily stand as one and have a better chance with that." Miroku nodded, going back to his bowl with vigor since had had his say.

"I don't mind, he's been good with Shippo so far, no reason to deny his generous offer. We could all use some time to sharpen our skill and improve our tactics as a whole. I can also help you, Kagome, with some close combat moves." Sango offered her two cents as well, smiling when Kagome nodded eagerly.

"Then it's settled!" Kagome cheered, about to take a bite of her food when Inuyasha interrupted once more.

"Don't I get a say in this?!" He wailed from the floor, shooting everyone an angry glare.

"What could you possibly say besides 'you don't like it' Inuyasha?" Miroku barked at him, allowing Kagome the moment she needed to finally start digging in. Inuyasha quieted for the moment, staring at the floorboards in contemplation. "As it is, we must stand as one and let petty grudges sit aside while we focus on the main task at hand, for all we know, Naraku has all the remaining jewel shards and we are sorely at a disadvantage. Ignoring the help of your brother- a Daiyoukai at that- is foolhardy at best and I won't listen to your nonsense a moment longer!" Miroku snapped, narrowing his dark violet eyes at the half breed.

After a moment of stiff silence, satisfied that it seemed Inuyasha would not be countering again, Miroku went back to eating with Kagome, who had only decided to close her eyes and pointedly not say anything.

'Serves him right. He can't be right all the time, our opinions matter too.' Kagome thought haughtily, peeking one eye open as she hear Inuyasha stand and slowly exit the hut, his bangs covering his expression well.

"I for one am happy to join you all!" Rin said to break the silence, easing them all back into quiet conversation.

"I am too Rin. By the way Sango, I didn't get the chance earlier, but thank you so much for the clothes and armor, I'm so excited to use them!" Kagome beamed at the lightly blushing Sango.

"I'm glad, though it can be a pain to take on and off, it could be the difference of life or death for you. And after.." Sango's face paled a bit as she glanced at Kagome's shoulder, a haunted shadow flickering across her eyes. "Well… you know. I would prefer you to not get that hurt again."

Kagome nodded, keeping a small reassuring smile on her face as she continued eating, everyone else turning to other quiet conversations on the journey ahead.

Long after everyone had settled in for the night, Kagome stirred and tossed in her sleeping bag, not disturbing Shippo as he snored beside her. A small moan escaped her lips as dreams whirled and swarmed in her head.

With a loud gasp she jerked up, the sleeping bag falling away and Shippō rolling away with a light snore. Once again Kagome found herself examining her surroundings with fear while the rest of her body remained locked and frozen. Her eyes straining to see in the dark over the dim light of the coals. Everyone seemed to be sleeping well and unharmed.

Swallowing thickly, her body released at the realization that there was no danger, the echoes of her dream fading from the edges of her mind while she rubbed her throat. Reaching into her pack and grabbing a bottle of water, she took a large gulp and shifted fully out of her sleeping bag.

'I need air.' She slipped on her shoes and the thick yukata Sango had given her and glanced around, Sesshomaru's pelt was oddly nowhere to be seen. Though given it seemed to have a will of its own, Kagome worried if she was to be responsible for it. It wouldn't do her any good if Sesshomaru was angry with her for losing his pelt like thing.

Deciding to ponder it later, she dipped out the door and into the cool air.

Like she feared, winter was fast approaching. Clouds dotted the sky and the nip in the air tickled her cheeks and turned them red. Besides a few torches lighting paths in the heart of the village, it was quiet and dark. At least for her.

Normally the sounds of the modern era were 'quiet'. Having grown up there, the background noise of the future were once nothing more than sounds on the breeze. Here, her ears strained for those formerly familiar sounds, and so were incredibly sensitive to the distinct silence the past offered.

She hasn't even realized how far she had wandered when a voice made her jump out of her skin.

"Go back to bed Kagome, I want us moving tomorrow."

A hand grasping her yukata, eyes wide and searching the dark branches above her, she could barely see Inuyasha with the minimal light of the moon.

"Inuyasha! You scared the life out of me! What's your problem?" She snapped back at him, irritated now with adrenaline rushing through her.

"Feh, I ain't got no problem. You're the one tottering around like a lost pup in the middle of the night." She could see a shift of his shadow, and could easily imagine the movement being him tightening his arms across his chest.

"Forget you." Kagome muttered, knowing well he could hear her anyways, and turned to follow one of the dirt trails down to the water where she had been earlier in the day.

Now keenly aware of his aura, she was able to tell that he followed her, leaping from the tree and trailing after her silently, keeping a distance from her as she walked carefully across the hard packed earth.

Not wanting a repeat of earlier, she stopped short of the banking hill, balling her fists before glancing at the red clad half demon.

"What?"

Inuyasha jerked to a stop in his slow tailing, narrowing his eyes at her before looking to the side. Now able to at least see him a bit better, she could see the hesitation and uncertainty in his face. Her own softened and her fists loosened, she asked again with a long sigh "what is it Inuyasha?" She didn't try to hide the exasperation in her voice.

Inuyasha looked back at her, as if he had already been proper admonished without her doing so.

"I'm sorry for the things I said… before…" he said softly, golden eyes flickering between the ground and her face.

Kagome blinked but her exasperated tone did not evaporate. "Which ones? About Naraku's escape being my fault? Or did you have something else on your mind that you shouldn't have said?" Kagome out right glared at him, her fists clenching once more.

Inuyasha's ears lowered. "I'm worried about ya, alright? You know Sesshomaru can't be trusted."

"Just like Kikyo can't be trusted."

"Damnit Kagome it's not the same thing and you know it! I'm just trying to apologize here-"

"No it's not the same thing! Sesshomaru has the same goals as us and hasn't been after your sword for a long time now and you know that! He's been nothing but decent these past few months, and he's saved me. Whatever Rin is to him, it's changed him."

Inuyasha let a low growl hum in his chest as he glared back at her "Kikyo has-"

"Kikyo has tried to kill us both." Kagome snapped. "And though Sesshomaru has as well in the past, at least he's shown he has changed. Over these years it's only been me saving Kikyo, me risking my life and my health for Kikyo. You risking your life and limb for Kikyo. Us stopping the hunt for the shards for you to see Kikyo. Us being at a disadvantage when Kikyo steals my shards, she has done nothing but make things worse for us then act self righteous because she's dead."

Kagome felt hot tears slipping down her cheeks, and for once her voice did not falter, so she continued. "Kikyo has nothing but evil in her, I know that for a fact now. You can't keep defending her when she does nothing but hurt you Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha looked like he was prepping his next argument until her last bit, his brows furrowing at her words.

"What do you mean she's got nothin but evil? She's got your soul Kagome!"

"She has a piece of me that I won't be getting back. She has a sliver of the evil of the jewel and her old shriveled hateful soul in her, but she doesn't have my soul." Kagome growled out at him, watching as his face shifted to shock and confusion. The gears were obviously turning, but not all the pieces were there.

"You know something I don't." He finally said softly, looking at her accusingly.

Kagome grunted and shook her head. "Yeah, for once I do." She said the second half sarcastically. Sitting down, she gestured for him to sit next to her, and focused her eyes on the black liquid that made up the river.

"You've been in such a foul mood I haven't told you…"

When Inuyasha sat down, Kagome went into detail about her meeting with Midoriko and Sesshomaru. Only stopping once to hit him in the shoulder when he made a comment of her hallucinating, Kagome peered at him as he contemplated everything she said.

"So you've got some sorta power that's gonna bring Naraku to an end… And you're not Kikyo's reincarnation?" He summed up with a purse of his lips, not looking directly at her.

"Pretty much. And honestly, I think Sesshomaru is the key." She admitted quietly.

"Feh! I'm stronger than he is!" Inuyasha growled out.

"Be realistic Inuyasha." The quiet serious tone of her voice took him by surprise. "Even you haven't been able to kill him yet. And he's a Daiyoukai with enormous power. AND with Tenseiga and Tokijin, he's probably our best bet against Magatsuhi. I'm not saying you're weak, far from it. But weakness can also come from being unwilling to accept help." She met his eyes once more, and the deep contemplation in her blue eyes made him lower his ears again. "How many times have we all banded together and won? Compared to fighting alone? You know I'm right."

"Yeah but I don't have to like it." He muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You don't have to like it but don't fight everyone every step of the way." Kagome snapped, making him flinch before she toned down her voice. "I could have taken Kikyo's suggestion, I could have shot that arrow. But I chose not to risk our allies lives in a desperate move to finish it, that may not have even worked. All I ask is you not put everyone in danger with your pride."

Inuyasha swallowed loudly, staring at her for several heartbeats before looking away, his flat golden eyes staring up at the moon when it peeled through a cloud. The small moment of illumination seemed to stir something in him, and he nodded.

"Alright. I see your point. I still won't like it, but I guess we don't have much of a choice." Kagome smiled softly at him and leaned her shoulder into his.

"Thanks Kagome." He whispered, allowing them a few more minutes of quiet comfort in each others presence before insisting she head back to bed for the night.

Walking her back to Kaede's hut in silence, Kagome was startled when Inuyasha stopped, and gently grabbed her hand to stop her as well, his eyes downcast.

"Inuyasha?" she stepped back towards him, chills running up her arms as he grabbed her other hand, his eyes still focused on her fingers.

"Thanks Kagome." He said softly again, less of a stubborn tone in his voice, squeezing her fingers before letting her go, and in a flash of red he disappeared, bounding into the darkness faster than her human eyes could follow. With a soft blush on her cheeks, Kagome turned and went back inside the quiet hut filled with her sleeping friends.

Early the next morning, kagome was jostled awake by Shippo, his bright green eyes still slightly dark with sleep and his cheeks pink, but his hair groomed and his clothes straightened.

"Come on Kagome, Sesshomaru said you should train with us this morning."

With that, Kagome was hurrying to change into her slayers under garments under her sleeping bag. Throwing on the brown yukata on top and quickly brushing her hair into a high ponytail, she was following Shippo out into the damp still morning, bow and quiver in hand, sword on hip.

Dawn was just barely approaching, the sky getting lighter by the second, and only the occasional chirp of a bird broke the silence.

She was just about to ask Shippo where they were headed, a good several yards into the forest line, when she spotted Sesshomaru.

Regal and still, his golden eyes shone like small little suns as he stared at them while they approached.

"You know your task, on your way kit." He said simply, his eyes fixated on kagome.

"Right!" Shippo modded, determination in his eyes before he scampered past sesshomaru, quick and light on his little feet.

"And me?" Kagome asked quietly, feeling any excessive noise would disrupt the beautiful morning.

"And you, shall do the same. Hunt for your pack. A deer or boar would do well to feed them." Sesshomaru said unblinkingly.

Kagome sucked in a sharp breath, blinking at him several times. She had never hunted animals before. The concept wasn't unknown to her, Souta loved watching those survival documentaries all the time. Mostly for the 'necessary' bug eating, but still. The concept was one grasped. However she had never needed to hunt. Her supplies from the future allowed the luxury for them to not have to. When in need Sango or Inuyasha would hunt, but that was so little often, given that Miroku often 'bartered' with villages to get them what supplies she ran out of.

"I've never.."

"I am aware." He interrupted her, "That is why this is your first task. You requested I teach you, as such you will follow my instruction."

Her instinct was to argue but she bit the inside of her cheek, thinking solely on her misery just a few days ago. After last night, she had almost forgotten.

"Right then!" She firmly nodded, gripping her bow tighter and turning on her heel to face away from where they had come.

Let it begin.

#little bird no more #lbnm #inuyasha #sesshomaru #sesskag #kagome #fanfiction

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ilytuan · 6 years

Text

Warmth 「yugyeom」

genre › fluff ︱ domestic boyfriend!au

pairing › reader ︱ yugyeom

word count › 2,034

warning › none

synopsis › #NoOneElseButYugyeomDay

Yugyeom rubbed his tired eyes, trying to rid any traces of sleep from his face that was unwashed and long due for a shave. He blinked at your message, wondering if there was any hidden meaning behind it. Was today a special day?

He scratched his already dishevelled hair, messing it up further as he tried to think of any important dates or anniversaries with you. None. He brushed it off, maybe you just had innocent intentions and missed him? The more he thought about it, he realised he missed you too and he tried to remember when the last time he saw you was. A month ago? Or maybe even longer.

The message you sent him asking to go on a date had come from nowhere, and Yugyeom knew you were away on a trip with your friends from college at the moment, so he wondered where you found the time to be able to hang out with him. Even though you were dating, you almost never spent much time out on dates. There weren’t many chances for you two to hang out, so he wasn’t going to turn down the date by any means, but he was slightly sceptical of what you had planned. The fact that it was his birthday completely slipped his mind as he began to make himself presentable enough to go out.

A message tone broke his train of thought while he was brushing his teeth. He ignored it, figuring it was one of the members trying to bother him or ask him for a ride somewhere, but then another one came. And another. Until he finally grew frustrated and picked up his phone, ready to snap at whoever it was. He was just trying to brush his teeth peacefully.

It really was the members. What a coincidence, he thought as he rolled his eyes. Messages were flowing in rapidly and Yugyeom struggled to read them, since they were flying past his eyes right as he caught sight of them. They were spamming and screaming, exclamation marks and emojis being the only thing he caught sight of. None of it made sense to him, almost like they were talking gibberish, so he switched his phone off completely and continued brushing his teeth to get ready to see you. Today was for you and him only. Whatever the occasion.

Yugyeom drove his sleek, black car out to the nearby park where you were already waiting for him. The chilly air resulted in a large scarf being wrapped around you and winter coat over your outfit. You were wearing a skirt with thigh high socks though, obviously not cold enough to make you dress in anything else and when you had gotten a touch of the cold air on your way out, you wanted to run back in and change but Yugyeom had told you that he was already on his way, so you didn’t want to keep him waiting. The coat would have to do, you decided.

You were almost completely covered up, minus your shivering legs and your face which was barely visible behind all of the layers. Yugyeom would’ve completely missed you had it not been for the cute little wave you gave him. He would never miss your cute ministrations. It was how he met you in the first place, all those years ago in this exact park when he saw you feeding a squirrel and tending to a bird who’s wing had been damaged.

He quickly turned on the heater, warming up the car for you before you got in. Yugyeom was thick skinned and rarely got cold so he was only wearing a light jacket, but he knew you were easily affected by the cold weather hence your current get up. You blew warm air onto your hands, smoke puffing out around them, before you reached for the door handle. The tip of your nose and cheeks were tinted red, how cute, he thought.

When you were comfortably seated and with your seatbelt fastened, Yugyeom grasped one your cold hands and placed it on his lap, driving away from the park and off into the city while you gave him directions to the bakery. “Did you wait long?” He asked you when you were waiting for the traffic light to signal go.

You shook your head, removing the scarf from around your neck because it was getting warmer in the car thanks to Yugyeom’s blasting heater. If not for him, you’d be completely frozen by now. “I was in the neighbourhood.” He seemed to be puzzled by the fact, but it didn’t surprise you.

The trip away with college friends wasn’t a complete lie. You had planned to go, and you did. For the first day. But after you took a dip in the nearby lake for a dare, you had fallen ill and spent the day getting an IV drip at the hospital for early symptoms of hypothermia. Fun.

Then you spent the next day wrapped up in blankets, with hot tea around the fire, as recommended by the doctor, and tried to come up with a plan for Yugyeom’s birthday. It had been awhile since you spent time with him, so you wanted it to be special. You could have told him, but it was useless as he would only worry and fuss over you. He was busy enough.

You actually lived quite a distance away from Yugyeom too, which was part of the reason why dates were rare and probably why he was being sceptical about your meeting place, but he’d find out in no time with the day you had in store for him. It wasn’t a lie that you were in the neighbourhood, but it was a surprise, so you kept your mouth closed and gave him no hints.

“So, birthday boy. Anyone spoil you with gifts and love yet, or am I the first?” He gave you a quizzical look and you laughed at the sight of pure confusion that was painted on his face, his eyebrows furrowed together, trying to piece it all together.

His face stilled and paled as he remembered the messages from the members. He was going to get his ass bet as soon as they see him tomorrow. They were birthday wishes to him and more than likely offers to go out to eat together and also the reason why you were going out with him today. He slammed his head on the steering wheel when he rolled to a stop at a red light, groaning in pain afterwards and rubbing his forehead. The members were going to think he was being bratty and ignoring them. He was literally doomed.

You giggled quietly to yourself, knowing the antics of his members very well. Jinyoung and Jaebum especially since they frequently volunteered at the veterinary where you worked. It was near the park but quite the commute to your house as you lived in a suburban area.

The way they treated and took care of all the animals were quite the contrast to how they treated Yugyeom, but you could still feel a sense of love behind their actions. And it was unbelievably funny whenever they made fun of him. He was teased relentlessly when he first brought you to meet them, and they never let him live down the fact that he split the entire dish of spaghetti because you laughed at his mismatched socks. That was funny.

“Y/n! How stupid am I? I forgot my own birthday! Of all days!” He groaned again, repeating the same stupid mistake from earlier and slamming his forehead down on the steering wheel. He whined in pain and you rubbed the red spot soothingly, still giggling at him.

When you arrived at the destination, Yugyeom scrambled to turn his phone on and check all their 320 messages. He was dead meat.

‘Yah, you punk. You’re ignoring us?’ was sent from Jackson, along with multiple other angry face emojis of him exclaiming he won’t ever buy meat for him again. Always the dramatic one.

‘We practically raised you, and you dare ignore us on your birthday? We ought to slap some sense into you, brat.’ Obviously came from Jinyoung. Yugyeom quickly shot them a sheepish smile emoji and switched off his phone, not wanting to read the influx of texts that would surely come in the next few seconds, no doubt telling him off again.

He pulled you out of the car, momentarily forgetting about the cold weather and making you scramble to put the scarf back on. It was absolutely freezing today. The skirt was such a bad idea and making Yugyeom wait a few extra minutes wouldn’t have been a big deal when he would be in his warm car the whole time anyway. You were literally making yourself sick all over again. Guess both of you were quite the fools today. What a pair.

You swung his hand in yours, trying to take his mind off it all and just have a good day. His hand kept yours warm too. It always baffled you how he never got cold.

Popping into the bakery, you quickly picked up the cake you had ordered and grabbed Yugyeom’s hand again, making your way to the train station. Out of nowhere, rain started to pour and Yugyeom’s grasp on your hand tightened, beginning to run with you in tow to a place with shelter. The heels and skirt you wore slowed both of you down drastically, and by the time you reached shelter, you were almost completely soaked from head to toe and you felt even colder than before. How is that even possible?

Shaking like a leaf, Yugyeom removed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, “stay here, I’ll go get an umbrella from the car.” You refused to be left alone though, so you both stayed under the flimsy plastic roof instead, waiting for the rain to pass. But just to your luck, gusts of wind were added instead of it stopping and Yugyeom sighed exasperatedly. He was only wearing a shirt. His birthday was not going well so far.

“I know you have a lot planned, but how nice does cuddling and movie sound?” He turned to look at you, concern in his eyes at your shivering state. He probably would have dragged you home even if you refused at this rate. His offer did sound tempting though; a warm bath and cuddles was just what you needed right now. “You have a bath, right?” When he gave you confirmation, you took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, running in the direction you had just come from. So much for a perfect day out together.

Snuggling up to Yugyeom’s side, you sighed in relief when your shivering finally subsided. The bath had soothed your nerves and pushed the hypothermia away, thankfully. You figured the Gods didn’t hate you so much as to completely ruin your day. Yugyeom wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap and letting you cuddle into his warm chest.

Your date may have been ruined, but you would much rather be warm and happy in Yugyeom’s arms, than cold and grumpy in nature’s wrath. And at least you still had a cake to munch on together. It wasn’t too bad and both of you were content with being like this. As long as you were together, what you were doing didn’t matter much. But you did feel sorry for not doing something more special for his birthday. Yugyeom didn’t let you dwell on it for long though, blowing out the candles on the cake and making a wish.

It wasn’t much but being with you made Yugyeom happier than anything else could. He had you in his arms, warmth and happiness surrounding the two of you as the movie played in the background and tasting the sweet cake on his tongue. Yugyeom decided simplicity was best and curled up into the bed, taking you with him. This was all he truly needed to feel happy and he couldn’t wait to spend another year with you like this.

#yugyeom #got7 #got7creators #kwritersworldnet #thekpopnetwork #NoOneElseButYugyeomDay #yugyeom scenarios #yugyeom fluff #yugyeom fanfic #kim yugyeom #got7 scenarios #got7 fanfic #got7 fluff #got7 yugyeom #lovelovelove

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supernaturalfanfics23 · 6 years

Text

Family Don’t End In Blood Part 4

Author: @supernaturalfanfics23

Taglist: @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @smallriderbigdreams @fangirl-moment-x

Summary: You met Sam and Dean on a hunt. They take you in and treat you like a sister. But when you go missing during a hunt they do what they can to find you. When they do, they aren’t sure you’re the same girl that went missing.

Characters:Sam, Dean, Sister!Reader, Castiel

Warnings: Some language. Mentions of abuse.

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had some writers block but I think I wrote a lot now. If you want to be added to the tag list let me know.

Read part 1 here

Read part 2 here

Read part 3 here

Y/N’s P.O.V

“Where’s your puppets?” She asked, showing her black eyes. I knew right then the bullets wouldn’t work. It would just hurt the person she was possessing, if they weren’t dead already. “You know having someone with your intel can be useful to me.” She smiled. I was about to pull the trigger when I felt throbbing pain from my head, everything went black. I couldn’t move anything, there’s something holding me down.

“What are we doing with her? You know we shouldn’t be messing with the Winchesters. We’ll all end up right back where we started!” Someone yelled. I opened my eyes when I saw her. The demon we’d been after.

“I’ve got a plan for her.” The demon said holding a red-hot metal rod. “Hold still.” She laughed as I screamed from the pain of the burning on my skin. I screamed until the pain subsided when she removed the metal rod. Looking down I see my anti-possession tattoo burned off. The tears fell from my eyes as I pieced together what they we’re going to do. It happened so fast. I was screaming and nothing was coming out. I was trapped in my own body.

‘Get out! Help me! Someone help me!’ I screamed but no one would hear me. My body got up and I was walking without control. I wanted to cry. I saw myself in a mirror. It looked like me but it wasn’t.

“Now, Y/N how do you like my suit?” My body said.

‘Get out! I swear I’ll kill you myself.’ I screamed

“You can try.” I hear my laugh, but it’s not me. It’s a surreal experience. Soon I fall into darkness and slowly quiet as I get tired of screaming.

“Y/N?” I hear my name and I slowly come out from the dark.

“No I don’t know her! Get her out!” I hear my voice screaming but it’s not me talking.

‘Clair! That’s not me! It’s not me!’ I scream but it’s no use. She won’t hear me. I see doctors and there’s an IV. I’m in a hospital. She’s a demon she doesn’t need the hospital, this is her plan! The minutes past like hours and hours like years. It felt like forever until the demon opened my eyes and I see Dean talking with the doctor out the window.

‘Dean! Don’t hurt them. Please’ I beg as my eyes close.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I should’ve never brought you into this life. I know it’s my fault, the plan didn’t go right and then you were gone. I’m so sorry. Just come back to me Y/N. Please.” I heard Dean’s voice through the darkness.

‘No Dean. You need to test me! C’mon Dean you can’t be rusty. Use holy water.’ I shout into the darkness. I keep screaming. Soon enough my eyes open and Dean is asleep at my side.

“Maybe we should have some fun.” My voice whispers.

‘No! You don’t dare hurt anyone!’ I scream still trying to fight for my body back. I managed to move my hand from Dean’s when I lose control again.

“Y/N?” Dean said.

“Who?” My voice asked and I see the hurt in Dean’s eyes. He thinks I can’t remember.

“You’re name, Y/N. It’s me, Dean.” He said.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember.” I hear my voice

‘Dean please you just need a bit of holy water.’ I beg.

“My name is Dean. My brother Sam and I, we took you in, after there was an accident with your parents. You became like a sister to us. You went missing for a while.” Dean said “You need rest. I’ll go let everyone know you’re awake, you just rest okay.” Dean said before leaving the room.

‘No Dean! Come back!’ I screamed. When would I get it? He can’t hear me. I looked around to see what else my eyes we’re seeing. I struggled until I saw Clair.

“Clair!” I screamed finally getting a word out, before violently getting pushed back to the darkness.

“Well, I was on a hunting trip with my brothers. I got lost. Then I was waking up here.” I heard my voice.

‘Clair! Sam! Dean! Jody! Alex! Donna! Patience!’ I screamed everyone’s names until I couldn’t go on anymore. Back into the darkness I went.

‘NO! STOP IT!’ I managed to scream but I didn’t have control over my eyes yet. I just started crying out until I was forced back again.

“Yeah I’m fine.” She said taking over my body again. Throughout the day, I managed to scream out a few times. But Sam and Dean didn’t hear anything but screaming. They couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. Soon my eyes opened and I recognize the garage.

“Do you remember your way around?” Dean asked as we got close to the kitchen.

‘Kitchen is straight ahead.’ I say trying to signal to the boys.

“Yeah the kitchen is that way.” She said pointing to the wrong spot.

“Close, it’s through there.” Dean pointed to the kitchen. I know I would pay for this later.

‘My room is fourth door on the right’ I said hoping she’d believe me.

“Right. My room was down the hall fourth door on the right.” Dean shook his head. “I mean left. Fourth door on the left.”

“You got it.” He smiled. As my body went down the hall.

“You pull something like that again and I’ll kill them both.” I hear my voice whispered.

‘It’s not my fault you are listening to me instead of my memories’ I fired back. I was just irritated now.

“HELP ME!” I managed to scream.

“You bitch! You try something again I’ll make you kill yourself in front of them. They’ll wish they we’re dead.”

‘No! Okay I’m sorry. I won’t try it again.’ I answer. I can’t do that to Sam and Dean.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” Dean asked looking around my room.

“Yeah, why?” She asked looking at Sam and Dean.

“You didn’t hear that?” Sam asked looking down the halls.

“Hear what?” I hear my voice again. I struggle to not say anything

“It sounded like you, screaming help me.”

“Wasn’t me. I didn’t hear anything.” She said, I let out a scream of frustration that I couldn’t say anything!

My body faced the mirror and I had control over myself for a minute.

“Please, just go. Okay. I won’t say anything.” I tried to bargain with the demon.

“But what fun would that be?” The demon laughed.

“Y/N?” I heard Sam and my body turned around.

“Yeah” She answered.

“Wanna come see Dean and me for a second? We just wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah, okay.” My body started to move following Sam.

“If you gave us away I’ll kill them both.” I heard her whisper. Sam turned to look at my body but just kept walking.

“What’s going on?” The demon asked.

“Look we didn’t think we’d need to do this. But you’re not acting like yourself. We just want to make sure you’re okay.” Dean said opening the holy water.

“No, I don’t need that.” The demon said trying to leave when Sam grabbed my arm gently to make me stay.

“Y/N if you’re fine then this will be painless.” Dean said, knowing something’s wrong the second she said no.

“No, I don’t need that I said.” Dean splashed the holy water and the water sizzled as it hit my skin.

‘Yes, now get the hell out bitch!’ I screamed.

“Sam, it’s not her.” Sam backed away.

“Where’s Y/N?” Sam asked.

“She’s in here somewhere. Fighting to be free.” The demon smiled.

“You have three seconds to get out of her!” Dean yelled.

“Oops. Don’t want to hurt this meat suit, do you?” The demon said grabbing the knife and holding it to my wrist and slicing a line that turned to blood.

‘Stop it!’ I screamed

“Sam!”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immu…” Sam started.

“Ooops” She said flicking her finger and Sam went flying across the room, hitting the wall.

‘Stop hurting them.’ I can’t give in now. I can’t go back to the darkness again.

Dean looked around, he was probably trying to call Cas.

‘Cas please! Someone, help me!’ I screamed.

“What your little pet doesn’t want to answer?” She asked walking closer to Dean. Dean backed up. Then my body stopped. Someone had us from behind.

“Bring her to the dungeon.” Dean said. The demon struggled the whole way there. Soon when my body was sat in a chair I saw Cas as he tied my limbs down with handcuffs that had all kinds of symbols on it.

‘Cas! Please help me!’ I screamed feeling weak. ‘Look at the burn under my sleeve.’ I begged. Soon enough Sam and Dean entered and saw me there. I can see the hurt in their eyes.

#supernatural fandom #Supernatural Fan Fiction #supernatural #sam and dean #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #Family Don't End In Blood Series #My First Series #supernatural fanfiction #Dean x Sister!Reader

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lacquerware · 6 years

Text

Mega Man should stop presenting its flaws as indispensable features

When I was fifteen, I learned to play the song Malagueña on the piano. It was a laborious project; the culmination of nine years of piano lessons under the tutelage of Mrs. Diane Miller, and the main event for her upcoming student showcase.

This arrangement of the piece was a seven-pager, and somewhere around page four was a problem phrase I kept playing wrong, a rapid two-handed run up the keyboard with tricky fingering. I got to a point where I could play flawlessly up to that phrase, only to flub the phrase every time. Each time I flubbed it, my teacher would stop me and send me back to page 2. “You have to perfect that phrase,” she would say, “so try it again, but first play the preceding two pages, so it’s no longer fresh in your mind by the time you get to it again.” Alas, this would result in more flubs, and after three flubs in a row she would send me back to the beginning of the entire piece. “You’re still not getting it,” she’d say. “So I think we should run through the stuff you’ve already mastered one more time.” I would glance at her, trying to read her intent, and she would stare back at me, bug-eyed and malevolent.

The above story is false,because Mrs. Miller was a kind, intelligent, and non-insane person. Like all people of that description, she understood that you don’t work out a problem area by indiscriminately repeating ALL PRACTICE. When you get one problem wrong on a math quiz, you don’t review the entire textbook. You don’t work on your free throws by drilling layups and then also free throws. You can’t learn to poach an egg by toasting English fucking muffins all day. To suggest otherwise is an act of hostility.

Mega Manhas always carried this hostility. The game dishes out its challenges in neat little screen-sized units, but penalizes your failures with gratuitous setbacks, often requiring you to replay entire stages from the beginning. This makes learning inordinately tedious. You have to retread every yard for every yard gained.

I guess this is a relic of the arcade age, when games were designed with the express intent of punishing players—unless they paid up. Indeed, most of Mega Man’s NES contemporaries inherited this same feature in the form of finite lives and scarce checkpoints, but it never made much sense on home consoles. You could argue that it prolonged the lifespan of each game, but that only held true for the masochists who continued to tolerate this torturous system rather than reallocate all that wasted time to more fruitful pursuits like, I dunno, learning to play piano or poach an egg.

I’ve always liked Mega Man, but it was already starting to feel like a tired concept as early as Mega Man IV. I was about eight years old by then, and starting to catch on that they were running out of boss motifs. Pharaoh Man felt like a red flag.

Mega Man has since proliferated into a multi-faceted franchise spanning more than 120 titles and three decades (and for the record, I’ve played through almost all of them), but it’s never really dispensed with its ancient baggage. Mega Man X brought new visual flare while diversifying the core action; Mega Man Zero imbued the series canon with new consequence and cool factor; Mega Man ZX fused the classic gameplay with the Metroidvania template; but all of these spin-offs continued to punish, punish, punish, to gatekeep their content from the series’ own consumers to no certain end.

When Capcom revealed Mega Man 9, I was momentarily taken with the nostalgia of it, but quickly lost interest when I realized that Capcom had no intent of evolving the series’ concepts, even in basic quality-of-life ways. Lives and weapon energy were still pointlessly commodified, checkpoints sadistically scarce. They’d even removed what few innovations the series had seen to date, such as the slide and the charge shot. Nor did the roster of Robot Masters appear any more inspired than the cast of rejects that had turned me off five installments prior. Capcom had had seventeen years to think about it and all they’d come up with were lame analogs of pastbosses, like Tornado Man and Magma Man. It’s like they thought they hadto retread the same shit beat for beat or people would get confused. Even their ace, Splash Woman, was just another in a long line of water-themed bosses.

Mega Man 10 as a follow-up was downright depressing. Strike Man, Pump Man, and Chill Man are what you get when you realize yesterday was the deadline and all you’ve got is a pen and a cocktail napkin. I can’t fathom that a bunch of game designers sat around brainstorming ideas for Mega Man fucking 10 and someone was like, “Hmm, what about an ice-themed boss.”

Now we have Mega Man 11, the long-awaited, belligerently-demanded revival of the MM franchise after some eight years of dormancy. After playing the demo, I find myself wondering why. Why are we here? Why is Mega Man 11 Capcom’s answer after saying no to Mega Man for eight years? It’s the SAME.

Yes, it looks and sounds nicer and there’re a couple new mechanics—which are themselves comically uninspired takes on the ancient tropes of bullet time* and Devil Trigger—but I’m mystified at how unchanged the formula still is after eight years of seemingly adamant dismissal of the entire franchise, let alone the thirty-one years they could’ve been critically examining it. Do they realize that other developers have been building on this genre since the eighties?

*Weird side note: The tutorial for Mega Man’s new “Speed Gear” ability explains that the gear makes you “move so fast that everything else seems slow,” but in practice Mega Man moves just as slowly as everything else. So it’s not Mega Man who’s moving fast, it’s. . . the player?

Punishment as “Difficulty”

In the Block Man (lol) stage of the demo, there’s a section where you have to jump and slide through elaborate platforms as they scroll toward you, an insta-kill grinding device nipping at your heels all the while. The third platform has very peculiar collision detection, such that your head bonks against the empty space you’re supposed to jump through, seemingly rendering the challenge impossible. This is several screens into the stage but still prior to the first checkpoint (on Normal mode), so every time this platform killed me, I had to start the entire stage over. After about fifteen tries, I discovered that the collision doesn’t trigger if you’re holding left as you make the jump—an illogical thing to do unless you’ve died so many times you’ve run out of other ideas. By the time I cracked this idiosyncrasy, I’d already spent close to an hour replaying the preceding screens over and over for no reason. Why is this still a thing? This is punishment, not difficulty. It contributes to the challenge only in that it makes the experience less fun, “challenging” your resolve to continue playing. Think of all the origami you could be learning. All the old ladies you could be helping cross streets.

The Mega Man games are quite clever in the way they parse out the platforming and shooting in little bite-sized units. Each screen is essentially an action puzzle for you to solve. It would be so logical for each screen break to be a checkpoint, because each screen break isa checkpoint—the start of the next challenge. Games like Super Meat Boy do this, meting (meating?) out their challenges in bite-sized, infinitely repeatable increments. Nobody accuses Super Meat Boy of being too easy because it doesn’t make you repeat the shit you’ve already completed when you fail at the current task. If you wantthat kind of punishment, no one’s stopping you from resetting the game.

Mega Man 11 adds a “Casual” mode which increases the number of checkpoints, but it’s still annoying to me that the more punishing model is treated as the norm while the more logical distribution of checkpoints is treated as a concession. Soulsplayers will tell me to “git gud,” but that’s why I led with the piano analogy. I got damn good at Malagueña, and I still had time left over to do my homework and play video games.

Special Weapons

Using your Special Weapons in Mega Man games is like spending the money you might need to pay rent on stuff you could be getting for free through your well-connected friend Dave. The trial-and-error pairing of the right weapon and the right boss is such an integral part of Mega Man’s progression that any other use of anyspecial weapon becomes a high-risk gamble—unless, of course, you just Google the answers.

I understand the need to impose limits on the more powerful weapons, but games have figured out countless better ways to do this in the thirty-one years since Mega Man 1. Cool-down times. Cool-down meters. Recovery proportional to damage inflicted. Recovery proportional to damage received. Recovery by way of skillful attack, à laMetal Gear Rising. Enemy fire absorption à la Alien Soldier and Radiant Silvergun. Ranger X on the Sega Genesis had solar-powered special weapons; why not steal that idea for this game’s allegedly solar-powered protagonist?

Instead, even in its eleventh installment in two-thousand-goddamn-eighteen, Mega Man still employs an RNG-based item drop system. Replenishing your meter is as simple and menial as finding an enemy spawn point and brainlessly standing and shooting until an enemy happens to drop the energy you need. Don’t forget to cycle over to the gun you want to replenish, or else the battery is wasted, as if Mega Man just eats it by mistake.*

*Later games in the series introduced the Energy Balancer, a purchasable item which automatically refills the weapon that needs refilling even if you don’t have it selected. Why is that a thing you have to buy? Why put a fundamental improvement to the game behind a paywall, virtual or otherwise?

Meanwhile, MM11still employs the same bizarre meter continuity between deaths as past installments. Each death means repeating sections of the stage without reacquiring any previously spent meter, effectively creating a difficulty vortex—the harder this game is, the harder it gets. There was a ruthlessly capitalistic logic to this in the arcade days,but the Mega Man series has never been coin-operated (with a few obscure exceptions). It hasnevermade sense that, often, the best strategy is to voluntarily leap to your death over and over to force a Game Over, just to restart with a full weapon meter as an alternative to the tedium of refilling it manually or facing the boss without it. What is the explanation for this meter continuity in the first place? Are we supposed to think Mega Man is repeatedly exploding and materializing but he can’t materialize a few extra shots from his bubble gun while he’s at it? There’s a multi-faceted idiocy to this whole system.

Rush

Capcom ought to take a long, hard look at Rush, Mega Man’s transforming robot dog companion. It’s hard to believe the same guy who invented a fully autonomous solar-powered robot boy couldn’t design a dog-shaped spring that runs on renewable energy. Special weapons are one thing, but why does Rush have an exhaustible meter? He’s a fucking spring. It makes no sense as a narrative detail nor as an element of game design. What exactly are the designers trying to limit? Your ability to spam high jumps? The logistics of the Rush Coil already do that; you have to set him up like a lawn ornament and he peaces out after a single bound. He’s unspammable, even with a full bar. To begin with, there are rarely that many useful opportunities to use the Rush Coil within a single stage, and energy power-ups are infinite as long as you’re willing to endure the chore of finding them, so it’s not as though the game is challenging you to budget your resources—it’s just discouraging you from searching for those meaningful jump opportunities in the first place. It’s driving you to Google.

Bosses

The Robot Masters have always received special star treatment in the Mega Man games but rarely been very interesting as boss fights. You know the deal: dodge the dizzying hail of projectiles in an empty square room while desperately scrambling to land enough hits with the weakness weapon before you die. Considering all the fanfare these bosses get (mug shot, intro screen, and now reveal trailers), most of them feel kind of interchangeable. Most of them have nearly identical silhouettes and shoot functionally redundant projectiles in superficially different shapes. Every gun is a Lucky Charms marshmallow.

The boss fights actually do seem a little more interesting in Mega Man 11—Block Man in particular stands out with his mid-fight transformation into a hulking colossus. I’d hoped to see more of this in future Mega Mans—fights that evolve and really set each Robot Master apart as a distinct embodiment of its corresponding motif—so maybe they’re onto something this time. Still, it’s a little ridiculous that this game has yet another fire boss, electricity boss, cold boss, and bomb boss. Why are we still here?

Before the mob comes for me, I want to stress that there’s always been lots to love about Mega Man, and I’m glad Capcom is investing in the IP again. I just hope this is the start of a long-term effort to reevaluate and improve the series, not another short-sighted extension of a tired status quo.

#mega man 11 #mm11 #capcom #games #video games #videogames #gaming #reflections #demo #games writing #criticism #rant

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ahorribledecision-really · 4 years

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Ivy Violet Fitzherbert ☼

💄 act like a { l a d y } think like a { b o s s } 💋

basic information.

Full name: Ivy Violet Fitzherbert Nickname(s) or Alias: Ive, Vy (pronounced ‘vee’) Gender: Female Special Abilities: Magical healing tears Age: 22 Birthday: June 17 Zodiac Sign: Gemini Sexuality: Heterosexual Currently lives: Recently moved back into her family’s home in the suburbs Languages spoken: English, French, German Native language: English Relationship Status: Single

physical appearance.

Height: 5'2" Hair colour: Naturally brown but sometimes she likes to play with blonde highlights Hairstyle: Short, usually a bob Eye colour: Green Tattoos: A small sun behind her right ear Piercings: Two lobe piercings each and few along her upper ears Scars/distinguishing marks: Nothing distinctive Preferred style of clothing: Cute, preppy, fashion-forward

health.

Smoker?: No, never Drinker?: Socially Recreational Drug User? Which?: n/a Addictions: makeup, caffeine Allergies: horses Neurological conditions: Anxiety Sleeping habits: Wakes up before 7am every day, back in bed by 11pm Exercise habits: Keeps in shape by jogging daily around neighborhood and eating healthy Emotional stability: Very in tune with emotions, though not always stable. 6/10 Sociability: Extrovert, loves meeting new people Body temperature: Average

personality.

Label: Two-faced Positive traits: Energetic, quick-witted, optimistic, good at communicating, ambitious, creative Negative traits: Gossip, narcissistic, dramatic, sassy Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Theme Song: Lizzo’s Good as Hell Character Alignment: Chaotic good Goals/Desires: TBD Likes: Makeup, fashion, cupcakes, art, hanging out with friends Dislikes: Shyness, quiet, boredom, douchebaggery Fears/phobias: Monophobia, cleithrophobia Favourite colour: All shades of purple Hobbies: Doing makeup, going shopping, trying on clothes, baking, sewing, photography Habits: Tapping her nails on counter tops (she likes the sound acrylics make) Taste in music: Anything pop or upbeat

eating habits.

Eating habits: Small portions; not a vegetarian but eats mostly fruits and veggies Favourite food(s): Hazelnut soup Favourite drink(s): Pumpkin spice latte Disliked food(s): Red meats Disliked drink(s): Milk

house & home.

Describe the character’s house/home: Ivy’s family home is a spacious, single-story home and filled with all kinds of art - both in frames and painted on the walls. The home is cleaned daily and rarely ever has anything out of place.

Do they share their home with anyone? Who?: Ivy currently lives at home with her parents, Eugene & Rapunzel, and her twin brother. She used to rent her own apartment shared with her ex boyfriend, but moved out after they broke up her lease ended.

career.

Level of education: Bachelor’s degree in Baking and Pastry Arts Current job title and description: Pastry Chef at New Dream Bakery

family, friends, & foes.

Parents names: Eugene & Rapunzel Fitzherbert Are parents alive or dead? Both alive Is the character still in contact with their parents? She lives with them, so yes Siblings? Relationship with siblings? Twin brother; had a great relationship with him until he unexpectedly left town Other Important Relatives: Anna Bjorgmann & Elsa Westergaard (first-cousins, once removed); Rupert Westergaard (second-cousin) Partner/Spouse: n/a Exes: Unnamed ex that she dated for six years from the time she was 16 up to a year ago Children: n/a Best Friends: – Other Important Friends: Melody Andersen, Benjamin Parker, Silas Lykos Pets: A chameleon named Levi Enemies? Why are they enemies?: –

backstory.

Describe their childhood (newborn - age 10): Ivy and her twin brother had a happy childhood, wanting for next to nothing as their family was pretty well off by the time they came long. Life wasn't a competition, but no one told Ivy that. She may have been born 10 minutes after her brother, but that didn't stop her from being the first one to take her first steps or first one to talk. Ivy was a very bright girl from the beginning, always excelling in school, and never shying away from a challenge. In preschool, Ivy met Zac, the boy that would end up becoming her first love, the two growing up together as best friends.

Describe their teenage years (11 - 19): Ivy's signature sass began to take hold sometime after puberty began. Having been more of a Daddy's Girl her whole life, Ivy became jealous when her brother started getting closer to their father as they got older. She didn't let that put a strain on their relationship though, the two siblings remaining closer than ever in their teen years. When she was 16, after years of secretly being in love with him, her childhood friend Zac asked her out and the two would continue to date throughout high school becoming Prom King and Queen of their classes, and even through college though the distance between them tried it's best tried to keep them apart.

Describe their adult years (20+): Ivy graduated college with a Bachelor's degree in Baking and Pastry Arts, and it seemed like her life was only just beginning - that was until her boyfriend got offered a position on a professional American football team and had to move away from Elias Pointe permanently. He tried convincing her to come with him, but Ivy's family and new career at her family's bakery was too important to her, leaving the couple to end their six-year romance. Now, Ivy continues her tenure as the lead Pastry Chef at New Dreams Bakery, waiting patiently for her life to have some kind of meaning.

#{ bio }#finally finished! thought i'd share :]

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anyluckypenne-blog · 5 years

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Armpit Talk

Hey Loves!

So I’m following up my first ever post with a topic that has been an “epiphany” for me this year and that is SKINCARE. You will probably see a lot of posts about it in the next coming days but for this topic, I specifically want to talk about Armpits (which is probably one of the skincare topics people shy away from but really a lot of men and women have issues with).

I personally have insecurities with my underarms and I guess it runs in the family (practically almost everyone in our family have the same problem). But I have recently found a way to combat the negative effects produced by hormonal changes and old skincare habits that have caused these problems. I have seen significant improvement on my underarm ever since I made a change with my underarm skincare routine.

Let’s go through 3 of the most common armpit problems, the cause and the cure.

PROBLEM #1 SWEAT & ODOR

THE CAUSE: Our underarm has a special sweat gland called apocrine gland. It’s special because it secretes a special kind of sweat different from the sweat that is produced by other body parts. It secretes water, salt and organic compounds. When these organic compounds mix with moist, it then becomes a home for bacterial growth. Yes, the bad odor coming from your underarm signifies presence of growing bacteria!

THE CURE: Always Keep your underarms dry. It sounds simple but can be pretty difficult to manage because there is nothing that can permanently stop a human being from sweating. Sweating is a natural and important body function.

Now here’s the thing, I know the most popular way to prevent underarm sweat is anti-perspirant deodorant. I have used anti-perspirant deodorant for the longest time every day and it works really well with managing sweat and odor. I never had problems with body odor and sweating credits to these anti-perspirant deos. Recently though, I have completely stopped using anti-perspirant deodorants.

But first... let’s have a quick lesson in science. Aluminum is the element that helps to manage sweat. There are 2 types of aluminum in deodorants: Natural Aluminum and Synthetic Aluminum – the difference is that natural aluminum or alum salt has low degree of anti-perspirant action which means the skin pores are not blocked completely compared to Synthetic aluminum that completely blocks sweat ducts.

The problem with blocking the pores on our skin is that it prevents toxins from coming out of our body and may lead to swollen lymph nodes. Studies debate that long-term exposure and high amount of aluminum may lead to degeneration of nervous system, breast cancer and Alzheimer’s disease.

So how do I manage underarm sweat? I just wipe the sweat off with a cloth or tissue whenever I feel like sweat is building up. I know it sounds tedious and difficult to manage but why block something that my body is designed to do by nature.

If you can’t completely let go of deodorant, then use ones that are non-comedogenic (doesn’t block pores) and has natural alum. Avoid deodorants with aluminum chlorohydrate ingredient which is a common synthetic aluminum found in anti-perspirant deodorants. Before I completely stopped using deodorants, I tried DeoNat. It’s one of those deodorants that does not use synthetic alum. It doesn’t have alcohol, it’s paraben-free and it does the job of keeping your underarms odor-free because of its antibacterial properties. The only thing I don’t like about it is that it has fragrance though I don’t really smell anything (I think it is to mask some ingredients that can have a not so pleasant natural scent). Even though I stopped using deodorants, I still keep this on my skincare rack just in case a situation demands that I use one again (IDK maybe attending a gala or something lol), I would most likely use this product.

Lastly, manage what you eat. Your diet has a significant impact to the odor that your body produce not just on your underarms. Curry, Garlic, Spicy food, Food with Sulfur and Red Meat have potential to make some people’s sweat more pungent.

PROBLEM #2 DARK UNDERARMS

THE CAUSE: There are a lot of causes for underarm discoloration or dark underarms, more usually tied with hormones and bad skincare habit.

A disruption of Insulin level is one of the main culprits for skin darkening. People who have hormonal imbalance or are overweight are more susceptible to this and therefore have more tendencies to develop skin pigmentation.

Another cause for dark underarms is bad skincare habit. Your underarms can suffer because of habits that can cause skin irritation such as shaving and putting on products that disrupts PH level of your skin.

Ok. So I have been suffering from dark underarms since I was a teenager. It has gotten worse when I started putting on some weight and because I’m too conscious about this, I rarely use clothes without sleeve. I feel like the problem is genetic and at the same time, because I have been doing things in the past that made the darkening worse.

Ever since I had hair growing under my pits, I have always been shaving or tweezing. I used to shave every day and if I miss 1 day, I start to feel uncomfortable as I feel like little thick hairs are starting to grow. I feel like over time, this has damaged my skin causing it to darken and true enough, when I stopped shaving, my skin became lighter.

The problem with shaving is that aside from damaging the upper layer of your skin, there is an added illusion that your underarm is darker and the feeling that the hair is thicker because you don’t remove the hair from its roots. You cut the hair from the part where its thickest so the tip of that hair grows back from where it was thickest and that part that is still on your skin can show a dark pigment because it wasn’t completely removed.

THE CURE: There is no potion in this world that can instantly whiten a dark underarm. I have used a lot of whitening creams before: Pasjel, Whitening Deos etc. I haven’t seen any significant change.

I have discovered that the best way to lighten my underarms is through waxing. Waxing removes hair from the roots that makes hair growth slower and thinner. It also exfoliates your skin and removes dead skin cells which helps to brighten it. I ditched shaving and tweezing when I started waxing my pits. You don’t necessarily have to go to a waxing salon every time. There are a lot of DIY waxing routine you can do at home. You can use hot wax or use cold wax if you think hot waxing is too messy. I personally recommend Veet Wax Strips with Aloe Vera extract. It’s very easy to use and isn’t messy. It leaves my skin feeling smooth after using. One box with 6 pairs of strips lasts me for 3 months since I only had the need to wax every 2-3 weeks. At first, it was uncomfortable for me coz I’m not used to having hair on my pits but then I had to let it grow to a certain inch so I can effectively wax it. However, I noticed that over time, it made my underarm hair thinner that I don’t even feel its presence anymore.

I don’t use any whitening creams anymore because I don’t want to disrupt the PH level of my skin that the whitening ingredients may cause.

If you think that you underarm discoloration is due to hormones, consult your doctor and they would most likely recommend medicine that can balance it out.

PROBLEM #3 TEXTURE

THE CAUSE: It’s simply because of shaving and tweezing. These are the 2 main causes that give underarm the chicken-skin texture.

THE CURE: Wax and Exfoliate. Similar to Cure #2, waxing means you don’t have to shave or tweeze and it gives your skin a more prolonged breathing space from any activity that can irritate it since hair takes longer time to grow back.

Also, exfoliate your underarms at least 2-3 times a week. Get rid of those dead skin cells that causes rough texture on your skin. You can use a physical or chemical exfoliating cleanser or a gentle clay mask like the one you put on your face. I personally use St Ives Apricot Scrub. I rub it very gently and it leaves my pits really smooth and supple.

In summary, all these changes I made with my underarm skincare routine have really changed the way my underarm looks right now. I wouldn’t say that I have completely gotten rid of the darkening, I still think it still has a lot to improve with whitening (that’s also because I don’t necessarily invest on whitening) but it has significantly lighten and I feel like my skin is healthier than before. This definitely increased my confidence level in showing off more skin and I highly recommend the tips I mentioned above if you are suffering from any of the 3 problems mentioned.

#armpits #underarms #deonat #waxing #veetwaxstrips #stivesapricotscrub

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lunzmoonliteteaparty · 7 years

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**Mini Story** Hellbent X TransDolan (Smut) {Also exclude the medical info, I'm not a doctor lol} A stream of smoke floats around in the air from the hell demon's cigar outside the local hospital. A tired Hellbent sighs as he puffs his RaisingHell Cigar. It's been almost 12 hours since his love has gone through a sex change operation. After what feels like an eternity, a young nurse comes out to greet him. "Mr. Hellbent? She's out of surgery now." "She?" He questions as he scraps the cigar against the concrete, putting it out. The nurse nods with a smile. "Yes. The operation was a huge success. She has now a vagina, testicles removed, and size 34 C cup size." She pats his shoulder with a smile. "She would like to see you now." The red demon smirks hearing the good news. He nods as a thank you and heads up to Dolan's room. He walks in and sees a looped up girl laying in bed, still hooked up to a IV and heart monitor. "Hey sexy." Hellbent greets with a smile; taking a seat next to her. The young girl looks up at him with her groggy eyes. "Hey yourself." She giggles. "How are you feeling?" Hellbent gently takes her hand. He looks at his lover with concern in his eyes. Letting out a deep and tired sigh from her mouth, she shrugs at him. "Right now very sore. My private area feels like I've been stabbed with a spiked baseball bat." She chuckles. Hellbent strokes his finger against her hand gently; sending comfort to her. The room door opens as the doctor walks in. "Hello Dolania." He greets smiling with a clipboard in his hands. The hell demon looks up at the doctor a bit confused. "Dolania?" He questions him. "Oh that's what I'd like to be called from now on. Now that I'm a woman." Dolania explains. Hellbent nods and looks back at the doctor as he sits down by the bed. "Surgery went very well. You have a total of 376 stitches and 152 staples in you right now. We've already started you on hormone therapy. You'll be experiencing some changes in you. Before you leave you'll be getting a packet explaining everything you might experience. Including shifts in weight, mood swings, lactation in your breasts. It will take you some time for your body to get use to the changes." The doctor lectures her. Both Hellbent and Dolania listen to him carefully and take his words into consideration. "I also suggest you see a councilor for your first year to help you deal with your emotional changes. Dealing with this hormone change can cause some depression and maybe even suicidal thoughts." The young girl's eyes widen and Hellbent squeezes her hand trying to be supportive. "Now don't be alarmed. It's more of a precaution. Everyone is different but we just recommend it just in case." He writes down some prescriptions on the clipboard. "Now I understand that you are in a relationship with Mr. Hellbent and are currently living with him?" The red demon nods to the doctor. "Yes, we've been living together for about two years now." "Okay. I want you to keep a close eye on her alright? If she starts showing any sign of depression please let her therapist know immediately. As for healing process, Dolania, I want you to be on bed rest for at least a couple more days. Besides walking down the hall and back twice a day. Also please let yourself heal at least two months before engaging any sexual activity." Hellbent clears his throat a bit. "Does that include oral for me doctor?" He questions with a serious face. The doctor gives him a poker face, not amused at all by his joke. "Just for that remark, yes that includes oral sex." Dolania lets out a small chuckle from seeing her boyfriend's pouting face. After the doctor talks to them a bit more; he gives them the paperwork, prescriptions, her things, and discharge papers. ~4 Months Later~ Dolania sighs and pouts while looking through some girl clothing. She holds different shirts over her chest and looks at her reflection in the mirror. "Ugh damn it!" She lets her arms drop in frustration. Hellbent walks over with a couple shirts for her to look at. "Hellbent, I feel like I'm gaining so much weight and I just so blah." The hell demon rubs her shoulder in a comforting way. "Sweetheart, you look great. Remember what the doctor said. You're weight will flip flop from the hormones. Besides you look sexy with a little meat." Hellbent compliments. Dolania gasps and pushes away from Hellbent. "Are you agreeing that I've gained weight?!" She exclaims. "Wh-I-Umm...you look great babe." Hellbent rubs the back of his head feeling uneasy. "Great. Just fucking great. Why should I even bother?! Is that what you want Hellbent?! Want to me waddle my fat ass to the food court and eat till I'm about to throw up?!" Dolania yells out of anger. Her demonic boyfriend grabs her and pulls her into a nearby changing room and covers her mouth gently. "Hush baby. Now you listen to me. You are an amazing and beautiful woman. This is what you wanted to be. Yes, I will admit you have been gaining a little weight. But just a little. You are fine hon. Look in that mirror." He turns Dolania around to face the mirror hanging on the door. "Look at yourself. This is what you are working hard for. Now say it. Say 'I am beautiful.' " The red demon's girlfriend takes a deep breath. "I am beautiful." She smiles and holds onto her lover's hand on her shoulder. Hellbent starts kissing her neck and shoulder, causing sensations to flow through her body. Pushing her against the wall; Hellbent kisses her deeply and lovingly. Dolania runs her fingers through his lush black hair. He grips her legs and wraps them around his waist as he unzips his pants. Moving her dress up and pulling her panties to the side. He slides his hard cock inside of her. "Mmmm of fuck Hellbent." She lets out a groan as he starts thrusting inside her. Biting her neck and thrusting his hips back and forth. Covering her mouth as well trying to keep his lover quiet. Dolania grips into his back as her orgasm grows closer. "Hell...bent!" She grips into his back harder as she climaxes against his big rod. Spurts of cum flow into her vagina from his twitching cock. Panting, he gently lets her down and kisses her forehead. "That's my girl. You are amazing. Now, pick out a shirt. The green one or the blue one." ~2 Weeks Later~ Dolania spins around in her new blue dress shirt and black short skirt. After spending weeks catching up with editing the new videos, tonight is date night. Hellbent is taking her out to a nice dinner by the ocean. "Dolania. Are you ready yet?" He calls up for her. "Yes! Coming!" She takes one last look into the mirror. It's the first time she's wearing real makeup as well. Hoping she looks good. The young girl skips down the stairs and smiles at her waiting boyfriend. Hellbent looks up at her with a big grin. "Wow. You look amazing. Those makeup tutorials really paid off huh." Hellbent gently takes her hand. A huge blush spreads across her face. Hellbent and Dolania happily eat their delicious food as they sit right by the water on a huge dock. "This place is so nice hon." She compliments. "I knew you would like it here." Hellbent takes another bite of his steak. "So, you seem to be doing a lot better. Anything on your mind lately?" He questions making sure she's not having any depressing thoughts. "Not much. A little stress from all the video edits but other than that I'm alright. I promise hon." She gently takes her lover's hand and strokes it gently. "Good to hear. You know, you look very sexy in that dress too." The hell demon moves his hand under the table and her skirt. "Keep eating baby. Don't want to get caught." He sips his beer with his free hand as he starts rubbing her outside her underwear. His girlfriend gasps quietly from his touch. She continues to eat her food but her mind was right on him touching her. Soon he moved past her underwear and started fingering. Dolania's hand clenches up as she tries to hold back her moaning. Hellbent continues fingering her more harder and faster. Dolania's legs fidgets against his hand as he violates her hole. The red demon whispers to her. "I want to feel your juices on my hand. Come on babe." She felt as if his hand is vibrating against and in her hole. Letting out a quiet moan, the young girlfriend cums right onto his hand and pants softly. Hellbent chuckles as he releases her. "Such a good sexy girl." He pulls his hand out and licks his finger. "Very tasty too." Requested by Anonymous. Sorry for such the long wait! Hope you enjoy it! :)

#dolbent #hellbent x dolan #hellbent #danger dolan #dolan #planetdolan #planetdolanhellbent #ministory #request #story #short story #fanfics #fanfiction

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illyriantremors · 7 years

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Beneath the Stars Chapter 21

Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX

AO3 Linkage

Summary: Christmas brings about new beginnings for all, and for the first time in Feyre's life, hope. Final chapter excluding epilogue and bonus chapters.

Chapter 21

I woke up three days later on Christmas morning to a house full of people I’d never expected would be there again. For a long time I stayed in bed nestled under the covers staring at the little stars I’d painted on my ceiling. When I heard mom yell at Nesta downstairs that she was letting the bacon burn, I smiled and pulled the covers over my head.

At the end of a very long, taxing day at the hospital, mom had driven me home. She went to her apartment only long enough to get some clothes before returning. I was going back to the apartment with her after Christmas was over to spend the holidays with her, but once break was over, she was breaking her lease early and coming home so I could finish out senior year with as few road bumps as possible.

Nesta and Elain stayed too, though they were going back to their respective homes at school the day after Christmas. Too much grading and research they’d missed out on from taking emergency time off.

“I made French Toast,” Elain said, setting a delicious looking plate in front of me when I sat down at the table. It was hard passing the living room knowing dad wasn’t going to be sitting in his chair. We hadn’t even decorated the house. Neither of us had felt like it.

“It looks amazing,” I said. My sister beamed at me.

“Nesta - what did I tell you about the bacon!”

“Fuck all if I care.”

“OH!” Mom threw down her towel and stomped her foot. I broke out into a laugh. “You think this is funny, Feyre?”

“Actually, yeah, I kind of do.”

Nesta threw her head back and cackled. She mussed up my hair on her way to the cabinets for something or other and whispered, “I knew you were really on my side.”

Elain sank into the chair next to me trying to hide her grin behind her large coffee mug.

At noon, we drove to the hospital. Dad mostly slept, he was so heavily medicated. Part of me was grateful we didn’t have to talk. I was angry and sad for him all at once, but dealing with mom was enough for now. I didn’t think I could handle both of them at once just yet.

But watching him sleep and knowing he would live brought me some small comfort. It would be hard and we would all have to help him fight, not just me anymore, but he could do it. Every time I thought about him slipping away again and never coming back to me, I broke out into tears. That night finding him on the bed and screaming my head off was going to haunt me for a long while yet.

It was one of the biggest reasons I asked mom if I could see my own therapist. After spending the better part of a year resurrecting myself from the dead only to keep finding myself in pockets of despair, not always knowing how I got there, I decided it was time I needed help. I couldn’t keep fighting on my own anymore.

And mom was home. And my snarky sisters actually felt like real sisters for the first time maybe ever. And my first semester grades were halfway decent. Things were really looking up, especially when it came to -

My phone pinged. Rhys was waiting in the parking lot for me.

Should I come up?

Nah i’ll meat you outside.

Yes, darling.

��

*meet

Prick.

But a handsome prick whom you love for helping you read and write better.

It is your only talent.

Feyre, you wound me. I have many other talents as your lips well know by now.

That remains to be seen.

A slew of shocked face emojis flooded the next text and I smiled as I put my phone away and put my coat back on. We’d been at the hospital sitting with dad for well over an hour. Nesta never complained once about the time nor dad’s silence.

“Is it time already, Feyre?” mom asked.

“She’s in luuuuuv, mom,” Elain crooned, giving me heart eyes. “Time waits for no one when you’re in love.”

“This is the young man who was waiting with you when you came in with your father?”

She addressed this question to me.

“Yes, yes it is.”

“At six in the morning?”

My cheeks blushed and I lowered my head, pretending to straighten my hair to hide the redness. “Mhm.”

“It was Winter Formal the night before,” Nesta said. “So naturally, Feyre was up late.”

“You’re one to talk, Nesta.”

We glared at each other hotly. Mom simply said, “Well I hope you’re being safe. Both of you.”

“Oh my gosh, can we not?!”

“Bye honey,” she said with one of those mom smiles that took way too much pleasure in embarrassing the crap out of their kids. “And don’t think we aren’t going to talk about this Rhysand when you get home tonight, which you will do at a reasonable hour.” She kissed me on the cheek and spun me towards the door. “Have fun!”

“Yeah, got it, thanks!”

I ran out to Rhys’s car and flung myself into the front seat. “She’s awful!” I screeched, buckling myself in. “She wants to talk about you and I and, I think, about sex tonight when I get home. I haven’t had to have the sex talk with my parents since… well I can’t remember the last time!”

Rhys chuckled. “So she’s being a good mom again then?”

I sank into my seat with a sigh. “Yeah, she is. Heh.”

We smiled and sped off towards Rhys’s house. Morrigan showered me with her presence the moment I was through the door. I was the lone exception to the family-only rule today given that I wasn’t staying for the entirety of Christmas vacation while I went with mom and life had been kind of hectic. Rhys convinced his dad I needed a break.

“Feyre - hey!” Rhys’s dad came in from outside wearing a grilling apron and holding a metal spatula. A delightful mix of barbeque and herbs wafted in from the outdoor deck. Thank goodness for California weather for letting us get away with a barbeque in the middle of Christmas.

“I brought you this. Merry Christmas, sir.”

I handed over a small package wrapped in tinfoil. I think it took him by surprise. Rhys eyed me curiously as his dad opened it.

“Oatmeal cookies!”

“I told you she’s a knockout, dad,” Rhys said, coming to put his arm around me.

“You barbeque for Christmas?” I asked.

“Every year. Family tradition.”

“Rhys, get out here and help your old man for a second. Give Feyre a break from looking at your sorry face too much.”

Rhys whistled. “Well, I see where you and Mor get it from.”

“Hey!” Mor bumped into me and pulled me toward her. She was a physical one, Miss Morrigan. “I resent that. Come on, I got you a present!”

“You tell me you resent me by getting me gifts?”

“Shut up.”

She traipsed toward the tree and removed a small, flat rectangular package from underneath it and handed it to me.

“Well open it!”

I tore the wrapping paper off and discovered a simple wooden frame containing a picture - one of me and Rhys. It was from when we went camping together. Early morning judging by the faint yellows and pinks cresting the skyline along the trees. Rhys and I were nestled together in our sleeping bags up on the hill I’d found him on when Mor kicked him out. She must have woken up extra early to get this pic on her phone.

“I can’t believe you have a picture of this! Morrigan, this is magnificent. I could kiss you.”

“Please do, Feyre. I’d love to see my cousin’s face. He says you’re a good kisser. I can’t get him to shut up about it.”

“Just talk about how lovely Azriel’s tongue is. That’ll shut him up. How thick and hot and skilled it is, among other things I’m sure-”

“Feyre Archeron!” Morrigan blushed the deepest shade of scarlet I’d seen on her yet. “I shower you with gifts and look how you betray me.”

“You know it’s true.”

“What’s true?” Rhys asked, coming back in from outside.

“Nothing!” Mor shouted. Rhys cocked his head curiously and came up behind me, murmuring wickedly in my ear.

“What did you do to my cousin and how do I get in on it?”

I laughed heartily, much to Mor’s dismay and shoved the picture at him. “Look what she gave me.”

Rhys was startled when he saw what was held within the frame, but he broke into the most beautiful grin afterward and nuzzled into my neck. “A night I’d very much like to repeat now that I can kiss you, darling.” His lips descended onto my neck.

“Oh you two are pigs.” Morrigan huffed herself outside while I turned around and laughed myself silly into Rhys’s chest.

“That really was a wonderful night,” he said.

“It was. You know, I don’t think I’d have made it had it not been for that night. That entire trip, really.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was the first time in forever I’d felt like myself again. That I’d felt happy with friends.” I paused a moment, playing with the buttons of his shirt, finely pressed as always and today cherry red Christmas, before continuing. “I asked my mom about seeing someone - a therapist.”

Rhys’s brow flicked up in surprise. “Did you now?”

“Yeah, it’s time, I think.”

He took my hands and led me to the couch where we could sit down. I crossed my legs and sat sideways next to him.

“And how do we feel about that?”

“Good. A little nervous. But I think could have used this ages ago. I’m ready.”

He flicked me lovingly on the nose, a gesture only he could ever get away with, before tucking my hair behind my ear. I leaned in to the touch. “I’m proud of you. You’ve made a lot of progress and you’re kicking ass.”

“It doesn’t always feel like it.”

“Sometimes it won’t, but the important thing is you’re trying and hopefully sometime soon you’ll have more days of ass kicking then you do days you don’t.”

“You speak from experience?”

“Actually…”

Now it was my turn to be surprised. Rhys blew out hot air nervously before meeting me square on.

“I called Tamlin.” My jaw plummeted. “I thought that might be the reaction.”

“When?!”

“Last night. I told him I had talked to you and that it would be nice if we could move on in peace. He seemed grateful that I had called. I don’t think we’re ever going to be friends again like we were as kids, but… it’s nice to know we can pass each other at school now and not feel like we have to hate each, even if we don’t… well.”

Sliding into his lap, I kissed him slowly sending all the love and considerable warmth I felt about him into his lips. It was a chaste kiss. A sweet kiss. A kiss that said I love you.

“What was that for?” Rhys said, a little breathless when we broke apart.

“You’re not the only one who’s proud of someone today,” I replied. Rhys hummed low in his throat. “In fact,” I said sliding my fingers down his chest until I was dangerously close to his waistline an inch above his pants, “I’d say we’ve earned ourselves a reward.”

“My father is not more than sixty feet from this couch Feyre,” he said, but he chuckled over every word.

“You have a basement. Use it.”

Rhys stood scooping me up as he went. “As milady commands. Though you really should have told me about this doing it in public kink of yours before we started dating. I would have taken out an insurance policy given the risks.”

“Pft!” I scoffed. “Why? Scared you won’t be able to perform under pressure? Maybe I should take out the insurance policy. High risk of disappoint-”

His lips cut me off as his bedroom door opened. “Rhys?” his dad called from outside. We closed the door, pretending not to hear, and descended into his room in a chorus of hushed snickers and reckless kisses.

It was the most hopeful I’d ever felt.

The End

#myfic #beneath the stars #beneath the stars: a feysand fic #bts #feysand #feysand fanfiction #feyre #rhysand #acomaf #acomaf fanfiction

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deadlyspacejunk · 7 years

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Rules: complete this survey, say who tagged you, and tag 5 other blogs. @paperpixie tagged me! im going to tag @nerdytrashcan @daisiebee @goldstein-scamander @foxinajumper and @my-seven-percent-solution (if I tagged you, you do not HAVE to do it, its okay if you don't want to)

1. are you named after someone? as far as i know, no im not

2. when was the last time you cried? uh not even a full hour ago i think lmao

3. do you like your handwriting? i mean its not neat, but i actually think i do

4. what is your favorite lunch meat? honey smoked turkey 100%

5. do you have kids? oh yeah thousands. no im kidding no i don't

6. if you were another person would you be friends with you? no wtf im garbage

7. do you ever use sarcasm? yeah no never not even once, in fact ive started an anti-sarcasm movement

8. do you still have your tonsils? wtf kind of question is this?? but yes

9. would you bungee jump? yep

10. what is your favorite cereal? cinnamon toast crunch!! fuck me up

11. do you untie your shoes when you take them off? depends on the shoe i guess, but not usually no

12. do you think youre a strong person? physically, yes. mentally, im okay. emotionally, fuck no im all over the place rip

13. what is your favorite ice cream flavor? red bull! kidding, its espresso flake

14. what is the first thing you notice about people? aside from their face, then body language i don't know why

15. red or pink i hate them both but red is better i guess

16. what is your least favorite physical feature? on myself? then uh my boobs i guess, i could totally have those removed any day that would be pretty rad

17. what color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? blue pants, no shoes

18. what was the last thing you ate? a grapefruit flavored hall im pretty sure

19. what are you listening to right now? besides everyone's bullshit? dead mans bones - my body's a zombie for you

20. if you were a crayon, what color would you be? pine green or timberwolf from Crayola

21. favorite smell? that weird smell by the beach but not the toxic poo bit, the other part you know what i mean? also a new book, a fire, that smell that the cottage gets when its been left alone for a year like that dusty lake-ish smell idk, or lemon and mint or cooking stuff that has vanilla in it....i have a lot of smells that i like

22. who was the last person you talked to on the phone? satan

23. favorite sport to watch? football/soccer/whatever tf you call it

24. hair color? normally its turquoise/blue but its brown right now

25. eye color? fucking hell if i know. its brown around my pupil but green around that and theres some orange in there but then theres like blue on the edge ??? sometimes just totally dark brown i don't know man

26. do you wear contacts? no i wish though

27. favorite food to eat? to EAT, its pizza but my favorite food s probably ramen (original i know)

28. scary movies or comedies? i love scary movies theyre awesome. especially the ones that are funny but on accident

29. last movie you watched? fantastic beasts and where to find them probably

30. what color shirt are you wearing? a grey t-shirt with a dark red flannel

31. summer or winter? okay so i like that winter brings warm drinks and blankets and cuddles and crap but i like being able to actually go outside and do stuff without getting frostbite but i die of heat everytime...summer (reluctantly though)

32. hugs or kisses? seeing as ive never been actually kissed before, im going with hugs

33. what book are you currently reading? classic tales of science fiction and fantasy

34. who do you miss right now? oh shit, everyone? my brother, my sister (theyre both in other countries) my old friends, my FUCKING CAT IM GOING TO CRY, brorrito :(

35. what is on your mouse pad? i haven't got a mouse pad

36. what is the last TV program you watched? that 70's show

37. what is the best sound? waves, rain, fire crackling, (this is going to sound cliché, gay and stupid but) his laugh :///

38. rolling stones or the Beatles? THE ROLLING STONES

39. what is the furthest you've travelled? 7700 km i think but i don't know

40. do you have a special talent? unless being a constant let down is a talent then no

41. where were you born? Florida

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cynthiamwashington · 5 years

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Nine Doctors Couldn’t Help Me

It’s Monday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Monday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!

My primal journey started in 2010. I had just attended my last Weight Watchers meeting ever. I had been doing Weight Watchers since 2005, and was at my highest weight ever. I was massively obese, I was severely lethargic, and I lived with daily brain fog. I was having miscarriages, but was being told there was nothing wrong with me. I went to a new doctor who told me that when I got pregnant again, I should come in and immediately start running tests so that when I lost it, we might have some insight as to why.

That was at the end of April. I was depressed and desperate. My dad had stumbled onto Mark Sisson’s website and pushed me to try Primal eating. I was extremely skeptical. In 2001, when I had first started dealing with health issues, I had been diagnosed with peripheral insulin resistance and had tried the Atkins diet. I was living in a dorm room at the time and failed miserably. So I was skeptical about trying another low carb restrictive diet.

But what did I have to lose?

Within a month of going Primal, I had lost several pounds, my brain fog was slowly clearing, and my gut was healing (another problem I hadn’t realized existed!).

And in July, I got pregnant again. This time it stuck. My son was born 9 months later. After 3 miscarriages, I am firmly convinced that I stayed pregnant because of my diet changes, and I became a full Primal convert.

After my son was born, I immediately resumed my Primal lifestyle. His first real food was bacon, and he loved liver as soon as he was old enough for real food. I continued the Primal journey, and continued slowly losing the weight and regaining my health.

Then I got pregnant again. This pregnancy was a whole different situation. I had hyperemesis gravidarum for both pregnancies, but this time I couldn’t eat anything. I lived off of cinnamon rolls, as they were the only thing I seemed able to keep down, and I drank nothing but gatorade. I was miserable, I was unbelievably adverse to the smell of all meat so I couldn’t even try to be Primal. I developed eczema on my arm so badly that I had to wear sleeves to work so my clients wouldn’t think I’d contracted ringworm! Luckily, my daughter was born healthy. I ended that pregnancy 10 lbs above where I started. And then my health disappeared.

The rash on my arm never really went away. I soon had eczema on my legs as well. Furthermore, I was so constipated that I wouldn’t go to the bathroom for days at a time and had constant crippling, severe stomach cramps. I had horrible brain fog, and who knows how much of that was a daughter who wouldn’t sleep versus dietary issues.

But more importantly, when she was not quite a year old, I broke out with hives. At first we didn’t know what they were and thought they were bed bug bites! Finally we clued in and I went to the allergy doctor. I knew I was reactive to wheat. As soon as I had cut it out in 2010, I noticed I got sick every time I ate it. I was suspicious of eggs and dairy. But I tested positive to literally every single food, plant, and animal they tested me for with the exception of white fish!

He immediately confirmed that it was an allergy problem. But that night I ended up in the emergency room with full body, raised, angry red, large diameter hives (like inches in diameter). He put me on all sorts of steroids, antihistamines, and beta-blockers. I cut everything out of my diet, and literally ate nothing but unflavored ground beef and vegetables for months.

And the huge, angry, red, full-body hives never went away.

I went from the allergist through eight other doctors. I went to conventional doctors, homeopathic doctors, acupuncturists, herbalists, etc. The hives never went away. I finally took myself off of all meds because they were turning me into a zombie. Unfortunately, even off of meds, nothing improved. One doctor started me on progesterone, thinking it was a hormonal problem because my cycles were so irregular (they had been like clockwork up until my daughter), and that made me much sicker. Unfortunately, those side effects didn’t go away once I took myself back off the meds.

Finally, out of sheer desperation, I gave up. I stopped going to doctors. I cleaned my diet up to be 100% Primal. I started meditating daily. I changed my job to reduce the stress.

And between less stress and diet improvements, finally, the hives started to go away. It had been a year and a half. They weren’t gone completely until after the two year mark, and even as recently as a few months ago they’d still pop up if I became too stressed or ate the wrong things.

Since then, my health has been a slow improvement. The eczema slowly disappeared. My gut slowly healed. But my weight wouldn’t drop. All the signs that showed up when I was put on hormones (heavier periods, breasts that were so sore you couldn’t look at them for a full 2 weeks each cycle, twenty day cycles) were still present. And I was plateaued. I would drop to 188 lb (I’m 5’3), but could never get below that number.

I was stuck there for nearly 3 years. I was feeling better overall, but I was stuck. I would be extremely clean for about 2 months, then I would give up since my weight wasn’t shifting anyway. Then a week later I’d be back to Primal eating because the brain fog and low energy would have come back.

Finally, this last spring, I broke that plateau. I had been 100% Primal for a few months, finally, and everything suddenly balanced. My cycles regulated, I stopped being in pain, and my weight finally started to drop again.

It’s still a journey. I’m not quite to my ideal weight yet as I’ve hit several other plateaus since. But for someone who has been obese since they were 16, now that I finally know what works for me, I can be patient. And more importantly, being Primal allowed me to heal up such severe disease after nine doctors couldn’t help me that I became an even stronger advocate than I’d been before.

I was already a licensed veterinarian and was using Primal principles in my animal patients, but after finally healing my own body, I became a certified Primal Health Coach so I could help the humans as well!

So what have I done since I received my certification? Since I received my certification, my life has gone in all sort of directions!

I was already using Primal principles in my holistic veterinary practice. I have absolutely continued using those principles to help heal the pups who walk through my door, and I have created an educational website and Facebook group for owners interested in healing their pets through diet!

However, I still wanted to help people, too.

When I first graduated, I obtained two informal coaching clients. One was a friend of my mother’s who had suffered from IBD, allergies, inability to lose weight, and masses around her thyroid (although they said her thyroid values were normal).

When we first started talking, she was eating grains with most meals, avoiding fat, and filling her diet with things like vegetable oil!

The first thing we did was cut the grains and vegetable oil, reintroduce real foods, and increase the healthy fats.

Within a month, she had lost 20 pounds, her energy was returning, and her IBD was feeling more controlled than ever!

My other client was a friend of mine who had also suffered from IBD, but who also had her gallbladder removed a few years before. In addition, she couldn’t lose weight and had all sorts of fluctuations in her hormones.

Again, with nothing more than diet changes, she slowly started to recover. Her weight decreased more slowly, but it was the first time she had ever succeeded in getting it off! More importantly, the IBD that flared with every menstrual cycle started staying controlled, and her hormones started to balance.

However, that wasn’t the end of coaching for me.

Around this time, I started having other veterinarians approaching me, asking how I had changed my life around. I had gone from severely burned out and feeling trapped and desperate in my job to outsourcing myself from my own business, moving to another state, and learning to love life and travel again!

And they wanted to know how I had done it.

Well, the first answer to that question was that when I started to get my stress under control (which started with getting my diet and health under control), then changes just started to take place that allowed me to completely turn my lifestyle around.

So I also began coaching veterinarians and other health care professionals on how to change their lives around. That coaching isn’t just about health, but health is almost always a piece of what we have to cover since these are women under massive loads of stress, and we have to deal with the health effects of that stress.

Today, I do both health coaching and mindset coaching. I believe in helping people live their best lives, and I will use whatever means necessary to help them do that! So while much of my focus is on veterinarians and other health care professionals, I still do regular health coaching as well.

I teach people that it is definitely possible to live the life of your dreams, and in my case, it all started with learning about ancestral health!

– Jenny Elwell-Gerken

Jenny’s listing in the Primal Health Coach Institute Directory

Website: www.drjeg.com

The post Nine Doctors Couldn’t Help Me appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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I sit in my living room, contemplating the slim, smooth aquamarine tube. Its color is a few shades removed from Tiffany blue, and it’s an inch or so longer than a cigarette. I do not smoke anything ever, but in order to psyche myself up for the full experience of the thing, I try to channel that famous picture of Audrey Hepburn on the Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie poster, a long, slim cigarette holder hanging out of her mouth.

This isn’t a cigarette, though. It’s a Breathe “citrus flavored vitamin B12 mist” — a.k.a. a vitamin vape. It costs $45 for three pens. And disposable vaporizer pens like this one, containing substances like vitamins and essential oils instead of nicotine “e-juice,” are increasingly being marketed to wellness-minded consumers.

After one drag on the vaguely sweet-tasting vape, I promptly start coughing, spewing out a fruity puff of vapor. It doesn’t really feel like wellness. It feels like a violation of my alveoli.

Vapes, or e-cigarettes, are all over the news right now, especially Juul, the brand that’s trendy among teens because of its sleek profile and fruity flavors. They’re so popular and so controversial that the Food and Drug Administration is now actively targeting manufacturers that push nicotine vapes; it may even move to ban some. There is growing concern in the medical and public health communities about the immediate harmful effects on young people’s developing brains and bodies and the unknown longer-term effects.

But there is another market popping up whose purveyors suggest vaping things that are not nicotine can be healthy. It’s a jarring visual to see what looks like smoke coming out of someone’s mouth in a wellness ad, except brands like Breathe and its sister brands VitaminVape, VitaStik, BioVape, NutroVape, and Monq are doing just that.

And like so many concepts that catch on in wellness circles, companies that sell these products take something with a veneer of scientific backing or credibility, couch it in language that sounds healthy, and then sell it to you via a marketplace with very little regulation or oversight. It’s not surprising that vape technology, which is so trendy right now, is the newest frontier for selling so-called wellness. But this technology is so new that it’s not clear if these vapes are helpful or harmful.

The Breathe vape is a good case study in how the wellness industry uses an inkling of evidence to package a product as healthy. The company’s founder, George Michalopoulos, is not a physician, but during a phone call, he said he worked in social media. He developed a B12 vape in 2013 for his personal use, he says, because he was a vegan at the time. (Many vegans need to take vitamin B12 supplements so they don’t become deficient.)

He says he was interested in it because he “enjoys the process of vaping.” He points to a few studies done in the 1950s and ’60s that showed promise for the use of inhaled vitamin B12 for people with deficiencies, which are linked prominently on Breathe’s site.

Michalopoulos says people have told him anecdotally that their vitamin B12 levels increased after using it and have shared “copies of their blood test results” with him. He also said he is paying an outside lab to perform a clinical study, sometimes done by supplement and skin care companies, mainly for marketing purposes so that they can quote data and make more specific claims. “I’d rather people understand that this is still a young science,” he says.

What he did not say in our phone call, but which I confirmed later, is that he also owns VitaminVape, which charges $39 for three pens. He founded it a few years before Breathe, which he launched at the end of 2017 to appeal to “vegans and B12 enthusiasts.” The website language, design, and testimonials are all the same as what’s on the Breathe website. The difference is that VitaminVape uses a synthetic form of vitamin B12 and Breathe uses a naturally-derived form. A representative said “serious vegans and wellness consumers” prefer the latter.

VitaminVape has been mentioned in several negative stories in the press exploring the legitimacy of these types of vapes, mainly pointing out that they are scientifically unproven and have potentially unknown risks.

Michalopoulos is savvy about the claims that he makes for Breathe. The site states, “Each diffuser contains 100s of breaths of natural energy with no caffeine, no sugar crash, no calories and no nicotine.” It’s considered a supplement, and as such, the company cannot make any specific claims about what it supposedly can do. There is nothing about veganism on the site. The FDA can issue a warning to supplement companies that make claims that seem drug-like. Michalopoulos says he tells people to check with their doctors first, but that recommendation is buried in an FAQ section on the site.

Breathe sells only one type of vape, which it claims delivers vitamin B12. According to the company, five to 10 breaths equals “approximately 333 mcg of B12 (>8,000% Daily Value).” Vitamin B12 is a substance humans do not produce themselves yet need for a variety of important bodily functions like forming red blood cells, promoting neurological functioning, and synthesizing DNA. It’s present in foods like meat, milk, fish, and eggs, which is why vegans are often deficient.

There’s also a rare disease called pernicious anemia whereby people can’t absorb vitamin B12 via their gastrointestinal tracts because they lack an important protein called intrinsic factor. Older adults and people with other gastrointestinal problems can also be susceptible to vitamin B12 deficiencies. They can get it via injections or nasal sprays or gels, according to Dr. Ron Crystal, the chair of the genetic medicine department and a practicing pulmonologist at Weill Cornell/New York Presbyterian. He’s also studied nicotine vapes and their propellants, which can include things like propylene glycol, flavorings of unknown origin, and glycerin.

What’s important to note, though, is that true deficiency is rare and you can’t self-diagnose it. Vitamin B12 deficiency can have vague side effects like fatigue, so doing proper lab testing through a doctor is crucial, according to Crystal. And taking too much vitamin B12 can have side effects such as rashes, acne, increasing blood pressure, facial flushing, and discolored urine. “It is a drug, essentially,” says Crystal.

“If you’re deficient, your doctor should prescribe what you should be doing. If you have normal levels, adding more doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t help,” he says. “The concept of just taking vitamin B12 to increase your energy and so on is a myth.”

But because some of the symptoms of deficiency are so vague, it’s a myth that has helped promote a long history of dubious vitamin B12 usage, popularized by celebrities. Who can forget the now-infamous episode of The Simple Life when Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie got vitamin B12 shots in their butts? (I, for one, cannot.) Madonna also gets them and supposedly once even administered one to Justin Timberlake. They’re commonly offered via injection or IV drip at wellness clinics; some services will even bring them to you.

There’s not a lot of evidence that you can absorb vitamins by inhaling them, though. There have been no studies more recent than the old ones cited by Breathe and others, except for a few on nasal sprays, which exist in prescription form. There certainly haven’t been any studies on B12 delivery via vape.

Normally when you take a vitamin (or eat food, for that matter) enzymes in your stomach and all along your colon break it down until its smaller chemical components can be absorbed into your bloodstream. Nasally, vitamin B12 can be absorbed across epithelial cells, which line the nasal cavities and airways. Epithelial cells act as a gateway for things to be absorbed or blocked. This is how medicines like asthma inhalers are able to penetrate into the lungs.

Crystal says if a person is deficient, “the concept that vitamin B12 can be absorbed through the lung epithelial cells is a rational concept.” But he says this with caveats: For one, the effects of delivering that aerosol via vape are totally unstudied. “You’re putting something inside your body and it’s unknown.”

With vaping, there’s also the matter of the propellant, as well as the other chemicals that help give the formula its flavor and convert it into an aerosol when you puff. Heating up the liquid ingredients could potentially affect how they act in the body and produce new chemicals. They “may cause some damage to the cells,” according to Crystal, though he says we just don’t know for sure yet how that would look long-term.

There haven’t been a ton of conclusive studies about vaping essential oils, flavorings, and propellants that can be in vaping fluids, but a preliminary study on cells suggest that some flavorings might cause cell damage. Breathe uses vegetable glycerin as its propellant, whose long-term effects when inhaled are not known. The bottom line is that no one really knows what kind of damage vapes, especially ones without nicotine, can do in either the short or long term.

The other potential problem is that because these products are considered supplements, they aren’t regulated by the FDA the same way drugs are. There’s not even a guarantee that the ingredients a company says are in a vape actually are there. Customers are expected to just trust that supplement companies are honest and that the ingredients are there in the amount they’re supposed to be. But studies, as in the one that was just released earlier this month that found 800 supplements were contaminated with prescription medications and other substances, prove that this is sometimes not the case.

Besides Breathe and VitaminVape, other brands on the market include VitaStik, which offers multiple combinations of essential oils and different vitamins, and Monq, which is just essential oils. Some brands call themselves a “mist” or “personal diffuser” or an “aromatherapy stick” and seem to want to avoid the word “vape.” Make no mistake, though: They are vapes.

The combination of an unproven mode of delivery plus a lack of regulation and transparency is something you’d be advised to stay away from. Even Dr. Oz, a person known to endorse all sorts of questionable practices, says to skip it. Need vitamin B12? Forget about Breakfast at Tiffany’s comparisons and … just eat breakfast.

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Original Source -> These new vape companies want you to inhale … vitamins

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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dangerouscrusadefire-blog · 6 years

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