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staycait · 2 months

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⊹ 　 ﹒ 　 ❝ 　a losers secret ⠀⊹⠀˚⠀ ౨ৎ

𝜗𝜚 ┈ loser!scara x shy!fem!reader ㅤ ✦

𝐈. ──ㅤ youre the good and shy girl of the school, everyone knows you and everyone likes you, you consider everyone a friend, even the loser that sits in the back of the class. but what happens if you, the most well-liked good girl, gets paired up with the most hated loser in school ?

𝐈𝐈. ──ㅤ mentions of fingering , overstimulation , cream pie , raw sex , mentions of markings , little bits of degradation 'n praise, reader is very shy and gets nervous easily , reader is inexperienced , reader is innocent , breeding kink , && corruption kink .

𝐈𝐈𝐈. ──ㅤ nsfw , smut , english is not my first language, please forgive me , proofread , fluffy yet suggestive ending .

﹒ thoughts ; hope u guys enjoy this ,, its been months since i was active here and im trying to get back here because ive been starving yall </3 . btw , reqs are open ! feel free to req anything . :) what do we think of new theme tho? it keeps changing 😭 .. and ngl this fic kinda sucks. ☹️☹️ but yeah i hope u guys still like this even if it’s horrible!

> story right under the cut <

SCARAMOUCHE is the typical loner you’d see in your class, black jacket with the hoodie over his head, headphones on, is at the back of the class, and much more. there were rumors that he murdered someone, that he does drugs, and the list goes on. no one likes him—in fact, everyone hates him.. almost everyone hates him.

for your english project, you got paired up with scaramouche. after the teacher announced who would be paired with who, everyone in your class came up to you, telling you how much sympathy they have for you, that how sorry they are for you, and telling you ‘good luck with dealing with him’.

you were confused, what was so bad about scaramouche? sure there were rumors, but if they don’t evidence that they did those stuff, you have no reason to believe in the rumors. you felt so bad for him, he already had no one by his side, and the entire school hates him.

you went up to scaramouche, he immediately notices your presence and looks up at you with an indifferent expression on his face, yet he looked awfully tired.. he took off his headphones and he stared to speak,

“what? here to bully me for having no friends?” you hear him scoff, a frown plays on his lips as he brings his gaze to the floor.

hearing his words made you protest, you would never bully anyone, or even hurt a fly !

“n-no! of course not..” you stammered.

you fiddle with your fingers in nervousness. you always get nervous whenever you talk to new people or when people assume things about you, a slight blush creeps up your cheeks as you think about his words.

the indifference immediately leaves scaramouche’s face once he notices your blushing. he stares at you for a moment before a huge smirk appears on his face.

“ah, so you’re not like all the others?” scaramouche tilts his head back and chuckles.

“huh..?”

you take a seat next to scaramouche’s chair and you bring it closer to him.

“what do you mean by that..?”

“everyone else treats me like i’m sort of monster or freak. you, however, seem different from everyone.”scaramouche leans back in his chair.

“well, you don’t seem like a freak or a monster..”

you were growing increasingly nervous, and as an attempt to calm yourself down, you look down to your lap to hide your nervous and red face and grip the hem of your skirt. you never thought someone would assume you’d bully them— let alone think that you think of them as a freak or a monster!

you can’t help but notice that scaramouche’s eyes trail down to your legs. it’s quite unnerving, and your short skirt doesn’t help much with that either.

as a way to snap out of his thoughts, scaramouche shakes his head and sighs.

“are you just saying that to be nice? what about me isn’t freaky?”

“u-uhm… you seem like a normal person. you look.. um.. cool too..?”

scaramouche looks back at you and raises his eyebrows.

“oh yeah? you think I’m cool?”

you notice him shifting slightly, leaning toward you.

“then, you surely don’t mind me getting closer, right?”

your blush gets heavier the moment you feel scaramouche leaning in closer to you.

“no… not at all.”

scaramouche grins at your response and scoots even closer to you.

“then is it okay if…” he trails off, and his voice gets husky as he leans in. you feel something touch your leg, you look over to see his hand resting on your thigh.

“i suppose so..”

scaramouche’s eyes light up after hearing you agree. you could feel him plant his lips on your neck; a few gentle kisses on your skin.

“how about if i…” scaramouche places a finger along the hem of your short skirt.

a small whimper escapes your lips, you don’t know how to feel about being this close this to someone, you had never been this close or intimate with anyone.

“is it alright for me to… lift your skirt up?”

your eyes widened, you weren’t sure how you’d respond to that, but, if you were going to be honest, scaramouche was making you feel hot down there..

his words made you feel tingly and horny, but his gaze was what was making your panties damp and wet.

“can we.. go to a private room first?”

…who knew it was so easy for you to fall right into scaramouche’s trap?

after successfully making the teacher believe that scaramouche he was taking you to the clinic, he brought you to his dorm, and next, to his bedroom.

SCARAMOUCHE had you on a tight mating press, your clothes on the floor with bits of your orgasm stained onto it. (it got to your clothes because scaramouche had fingered you until you squirted all over the place.)

how could scaramouche have resisted himself? you looked so innocent, and so corruptible, he just had to get his hands on you.

scaramouche groans as he feels your walls clamping down on him for the ‘nth time. it was a sign you were about to have another orgasm, another sign was when your moans get higher-pitched.

the feeling of scaramouche’s cock mercilessly ramming into you was agonizingly pleasurable. you couldn’t think of anything else but him and his cock, your body couldn’t help but just have orgasm after orgasm.

you held tightly onto his shoulders, clinging onto him as if your life had depended on it. scaramouche’s dick was bruising your cervix, fucking you into the mattress, and possibly trying to fuck your brains out.

“does it feel nice being reduced to nothing but a whore?”

scaramouche grabs a handful of your hair, staring at your messy and slutty state. the way you looked so disheveled, the way you were gasping for breath, the way you gave up trying to keep up with scaramouche’s quick and brutal pace.

you looked so helpless and vulnerable under him, his cock ramming into you and you have no choice but to take it like the good girl you are.

“answer me, you whore.”

scaramouche speaks to you with a stern voice, in which you immediately nod your head.

he smirks, letting go of your hair. he speeds up his thrusting, bringing one of his hands down from your waist to your clit, rubbing slow circles on it. you felt the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter until,

finally, with just one more snap of scaramouche’s hips, you both reach your intense climax and cum together.

scaramouche continues to sloppily thrust into you, however, it’s much much slower, he continues to thrust until he comes into a full stop.

“oh fuck, you felt so good..”

you both lay there panting, with scaramouche still on top of you. he stares at all the hickeys and bite marks he left on your neck (he also left a lot on your thighs.), feeling proud he had his markings left on you.

“scara..?”

scaramouche snaps out of the daze he was in while he was staring at the markings he left on you—he immediately looks up at you and responds back.

“what is it?”

“can we do things like this… more often?..”

scaramouche chuckles, finding your shyness even after all the rough sex you two just had adorable.

“hmm.. sure.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #smut #genshin headcanons #genshin impact scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche genshin impact #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche genshin #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scara #scara x reader #scaramouche #genshin scara #staycait

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acuar-io · 3 months

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Advice on how to achieve aesthetically pleasing gameplay photos!

UPDATED: 4/22/2024

I made this post earlier today and people were interested in the comments! Which made me more excited to make this post~

this is just some advice from me! this isnt a tutorial or anything of that sort, but I will be linking some things that could be helpful for editing gameplay! :D

First things first, I want to say that I use a graphics overhaul, lighting mods check my resources page for what reshade i use if ur interested.

I use these lighting mods & graphics override specifically:

sunblind

graphics overhaul

Lotharihoe's ootd* curseforge download :)

Northern siberia winds in-game better lighting mod (bright base)

these are some other lighting mods you can try out as well!

Luumia's NoBlu & NoGlo

these are some other lighting mods like sunblind

how to install lighting mod

I just wanted to add these things in since we're talking screenshots + I wanted to share for the no reshade ppl <3

Now we can move on to the advice!

I love the simple style of gameplay editing so much, but for me I love creating an ambience with my posts and put the audience inside of my gameplay. I also enjoy storytelling with gameplay more than just the "usual" gameplay post (when it comes to me). I am currently playing the globetrotter challenge with my sim Daichi. I really went all out with the editing for that gameplay. For this one its very much a virtual collage of my sim doing things. Trying new things and getting inspired by others is always fun and cool! Remember when u do take inspo: link to the inspiration and @ the simmer that inspired u!!

In my other save (my cozy save) I also take creative liberties there.

its more of a cozy vibe & silent story-telling (storytelling w/o the dialogue). for my cozy save i take inspiration from @/stellarfalls. er gameplay really helped me find my niche thing in the way i play the game tbh!

Angles/Screenshots

When you're taking your screenshots, angles are important. Depending on the shot, you're putting emphasis on a specific thing. This post is very helpful and talks about different types of angles/shots and what they mean. Check it out especially if you want to play around with the way you take screenshots!

Here’s some editing tips from @stellarfalls !!

simmingstars editing tips

Reshade

If I want to create a moody or dreamy ambience I can use reshade. Looking for a reshade that will fit the overall vibe is a must or you can make your own~

i know not everyone is able to use reshade because they're not on windows. I highly recommend using photoshop actions to create that ambience you're looking for.

*These can be used in photopea, but it cant read topaz clean. If you want to achieve topaz clean in photopea, check this post out! just something i'd like to add in case people are new to all of this + dont use photoshop. Lastly, I want to say if you decide to edit photos on photopea, it does tend to crash if you upload a big number of photos and slows down. I usually upload like 6 or 8 and then save and repeat the process. Its kinda annoying, but ive been using photopea for a while now so im used to it. My mac users, use early-grapes butter action if you want things to look cleaner and less harsh!! + the other ps actions down below. I used these a lot when I was a mac user. Of course, that comes with extra steps, but I feel its worth it in the end.

I like these photoshop action packs bc theres tons of stuff in here that can help create a reshade like look:

intramoon's ps action dump

wooldawn's ps acton dump

smubuh's photoshop actions

early-grape's butter action

hazelminesims's ps actions

Templates!

I loveeeeeee templates so much!! theres so many out there to use for gameplay. It really adds more to gameplay posts! This can be dust/dirt, film burn, that cute camera template etc etc. templates are really fun to use and play around with~

I usually go on deviantart to find templates to use! if you want to check out my deviantart account you can find it here! I favorite a lot of things I can use for gameplay screenies.

Gifs

making gifs is cool because it brings the gameplay "to life" ~

EZgif is a free website that converts videos to gifs. You'll need a recording program like OBS (which is also free).

i like making gifs when i want to capture a (cute) moment (kisses, hugs, cooking etc etc). Its also cool to capture the weather in game like when its snowing or raining.

Little details

Some people really go all out on editing gameplay posts like adding hair strands and adding more details to sims faces (catchlights, tears, blushing, etc). You dont really have to do this, but I want to mention it anyways! I want to try doing this at some point because I enjoy editing my gameplay posts/photos in general and adding tiny details is fun to me lol. It adds realism to posts, but it isnt necessary!

Procreate is a really good program that you can get if you have an ipad. its 10$ and thats, that. You dont have to make any payments. You can also animate on procreate too if you're down for that!

Find inspiration in other simmers!

the sims community on tumblr is filled with such talented people! Theres lots of gameplay simmers who dont do your typical gameplay posts that you can check out and learn from!!! Ive always struggled with getting the right angles when taking screenies. I looked at other simmers and how they take screenshots & it was really helpful for me since I noticed I would take too many over the shoulder photos on my sims lol.

I think thats all the advice I have! I hope this was helpful and if you have any questions please send me an ask or dm! :D

#simblr community #simblr #i hope this was helpful!!

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epiicaricacy-arts · 4 months

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oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention

this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut

i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.

that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)

it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!

i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.

i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!

IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.

okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is

for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.

anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.

ok i’m done

thanks for reading

here’s my dog

#my art #fanart #genshin impact #genshin fanart #lyney #genshin lyney #lyney fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr #artists of tumblr

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parrythisucasual · 6 months

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no pressure ofc but may i request a jax x reader where the reader is basically a ball jointed doll with some of the parts made of a soft playdoh material that can be shaped? i have no idea if that makes sense lmao. if not feel free to just do a normal bjd! as for story specifics ive been on a hurt/comfort kick tonight so maybe reader has joint pain or smth?

feel free to put your own spin on things! ive loved basically everything ive seen of yours in the jax x reader tag so im sure itll be great.

OKAY I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD AND I ACTUALLY HAD TO CUT IT SHORT DUE TO GOING TO A PARTY. I LOVED WRITING THIS STORY AND IM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO A PART 2 TO END IT A BIT MORE SATIFINGLY

HOPE YOU ENJOY, ANON!!!!

Jax x Doll! Reader

You were tossing and turning in your bed. No matter how you lay, your joint always managed to get caught on your sheets or blankets. It doesn't seem bad, in theory, but it was terribly painful. You finally settle in a spot, sighing happily.

“SH(boing)T!” you yelp, jerking so hard you nearly fall out of bed. Your knee had pinched the blanket. You throw the sheets off, tears of anger (and probably pain) pricking the corners of your eyes. You swing your legs off the side of the bed, deciding to go for a mid-sleep walk. You’d say midnight, but there isn’t exactly a night here.

Trudging from your room, you walk up the halls. Your joints, your annoying burdens, click with each step. You feel a pang of jealousy; the others in the circus didn’t have any problems with their new bodies. If you really had to be a doll, why couldn’t have you been a plush one, like Ragatha? Instead, you’re stuck with stupid ball joints and silicone. It sucks.

As you pass by his room, you find you’re not alone in your restlessness. The sound is faint, but you can hear the floor creaking in Jax’s room. You pause outside his door, wondering what he could possibly be up to.

The creaking passes from left to right as if he was simply walking back and forth in his room. As if he was pacing. You frown, debating whether or not you should knock. Maybe something was bothering him?

You shake your head, turning away. Jax wouldn’t talk to you, what are you thinking? You’d ask him if hes okay and he’d gaslight you into thinking he’d been asleep, into thinking you’d interrupted his night. He wasn’t the kind of guy to admit to his problems, not the type to care about yours.

You start up the hall once more, mind settling on the digital lake. At very least you could relax to the Lake_Ambiance.mp3 and watch the digital water move.

Crack

You let out a sharp yell, falling to the ground. Your knee had locked up, twisting at just the right angle the joint wouldn’t move anymore. God, it felt just like a sprained ankle. You hiss, gripping your knee in your hands. The tears really do come now, rolling down your cheeks in an oddly realistic fashion for this digital realm. Well, at least your night couldn’t get any worse.

“What, you forgot how to walk or something?” Dear god, it got worse. You glance behind you, the familiar smug grin staring you in the face. Jax’s confidence falters, very plainly, when he sees your tears. He raised a brow, “Oh, come on, you just fell. Are the waterworks really necessary?”

You try to stretch your knee out, yelping when it doesn’t budge, “It’s not just a fall you ignorant little- AUGH!” you give up trying to move your leg, resolving to simply lean back, giving yourself room to breathe.

Jax trots over, bending down and inspecting your knee, “How’d you manage this?” he reaches out and your stomach drops, “No, don’t!” He freezes, the surprise plain on his face, “Why not? I can snap it back into place easy as-”

“You stupid rabbit, it hurts!” you practically wail. He sits back, “Don’t be stupid, (Y/N), we’re digital now. Can’t get hurt. Can’t die.”

You turn your face away from him, growling slightly, “Clearly, I’m different. Not like you’d care, right? Too busy shoving your head up your own a(honk).” Jax doesn’t react to this, much to your surprise. Instead, he silently stands up, walking up the hall, one hand on his hip.

“Wait, where are you going? Jax?” you regret what you said immediately, you really didn’t want to be alone with this right now. “You won’t let me help you, I’m going to find Caine.”

“You’re… huh?” you blink, confused. Jax shrugs, “If it hurts that bad, why would I leave you like that?” You aren’t sure whether or not he really was going to find Caine, but with the lack of arrogance about him, you decide to trust him, “Alright… thank you.”

He doesn’t respond, merely gives a dorky salute as he rounds the corner. As the minutes pass, you begin to wonder whether or not you should have believed him. Just as you were about to give up hope, Caine appeared at the end of the hall, flanked by Jax.

“Oh, dear, oh dear! Would you look at that!” Caine’s annoying grandeur made your head hurt, but you couldn’t have been more relieved. With a simple snap of his fingers, your leg righted itself without pain. “Now then, anything else I can do for you, my dear (Y/N)?” the eccentric ringleader asked. You shake your head, a relieved sigh escaping from your chest.

“Excellent! Well, off to bed with you!” he zipped back into the air, “I was busy, after all.” Caine darted away, leaving you alone with Jax once more. He seemed off, not grinning as he usually did. You’re not sure what to say, until-

“Are you okay now?” he asks, looking anywhere but your face. “Um… yeah, now I am,” you start to sit up, and Jax rushes to your side, grabbing your hand and practically lifting you to your feet himself. “Are… you okay?” you ask, “you’re acting way different.”

Jax finally looks at you, “Why wouldn’t you tell anyone you were in pain? Are you really that thick? Any of us would’ve helped you! Any of us would be there for you!” he snapped, seemingly angry you’d hidden this.

“I… I didn’t want to burden anyone…” you admit, a bit shocked. “Burden us? Are you kidding?” his voice grew louder, making you wince, “you think your health is a burden? You moron, you’re-” he stopped suddenly, noticing your expression.

“I-I’m sorry… I-I…” He sighed, interrupting your shaky apology, “Next time, come to me. Okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt. (Y/N)...” he hesitated, “I just… I really care about you. Please, don’t hesitate to tell me you’re in pain.” He gathered himself, then placed a quick kiss on your forehead before darting into his room with a final, “Night.”

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #jax #jax x reader #tadc jax #tadc jax x reader #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus jax

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antxlss · 8 months

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roadtrip IV

pairing: anakin x reader (modern au)

summary: you and anakin discuss last night’s events and try to have a normal day on the beach… to no avail.

warnings: suggestive comments

words: 2.3k

a/n: i’m just realizing how slow this story is progressing, but i hope y’all are liking the way it’s going. don’t worry i have a plan for the reader to get their revenge next chapter. as always, much love! <3

-—————————⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆—————————-

part III

The next morning you roll over on the couch. The sun was shining through the sliding glass doors that lead to the small porch overlooking the beach. Your head was pounding. Of course you had a weed hangover. You grab your phone off of the coffee table.

10:23 a.m.

You wondered if Anakin was awake. You didn't want things to be awkward after last night especially because you aren't even sure if he meant what he said.

But you and Anakin have been best friends since you were babies. You've seen each other in your best and worse times. You doubt this minor situation will affect anything.

Your head continues to pound as you sit up.

The bright morning sunlight shines through the glass doors, and the cool sea breeze hits your face.

You look at your phone, and see a text message from Anakin.

"Hey, are you awake?"

Anakin's text message is the only evidence of last night's events, but you're certain he still remembers.

You roll your eyes at his message. He's too lazy to just walk out of the bedroom to come check.

You get up off of the couch and open the bedroom door to see Anakin twisted in the bedsheets with his hair sticking up in different places. You assumed he was in the same place you were with the whole weed hangover.

"You literally could've just walked out and checked to see if I was awake."

Anakin rolls over, and speaks with a tired tone of voice.

"I'm just tired, okay? Give me a second..."

His eyes look bloodshot, and you get the sense that he's had quite a heavy night.

Anakin yawns, and looks at you.

"Hey..."

You get in the bed, laying your head on one of the pillows and face Anakin.

"Hi..."

Anakin smiles at you, but the smile quickly disappears from his face.

He sits up in bed, and rubs his eyes.

Anakin lets out a deep breath, and looks at you.

"Look... about last night..."

His voice is hesitant, and you get the impression that he's trying to find the words to express his thoughts.

"Did I really say all of that?"

"Look it's fine. I already know what you are going to say, it was a mistake. You don't have to explain yourself." You sit up as well.

Anakin looks at you, and then speaks with a nervous chuckle.

"Well here's the thing... I don't think it was a mistake... and it wasn't just the weed talking either."

He pauses for a moment, and looks at you with a sense of vulnerability.

"I meant that. Every word... I've felt that way for a long time..."

"If you really meant that, you wouldn't have been sleeping around with Padme." You get off the bed and start to make your way to the door.

Anakin stands up, and starts to follow you.

"Wait. It's not like that. When I'm with you, it just feels different. The way you look at me, the way you touch me...."

Anakin's voice becomes deeper, and more sincere.

"It feels like you actually want me. Like you actually care. But it never feels like that with Padme."

"But you still want her. It's obvious. Look Ani. I've always loved you. I've always wanted you. I've always looked at you as more than a friend. You can't say the same. You can't blame me for being skeptical. You need to figure out your emotions, and I'm willing to let you do that." You tell him.

"In the meantime, let's make our last week of summer count. After this we won't get to see each other every day. I don't know about you but I'm going to the beach."

Anakin pauses for a moment, and then sighs.

"I understand why you feel like this, but believe me... it isn't true..."

Anakin looks at you, and then smiles slightly.

"But yeah... we should definitely enjoy the last few days of our summer together. Then afterwards, I'd be happy to have a chance to show you I really meant everything I said last night."

He walks over to you, and puts his arm around your shoulder.

You sling his arm off of you and laugh.

"I'm gonna change and pack us lunch so we can just eat on the beach. We can meet on the balcony."

Anakin nods silently, and walks out of the room.

From the hallway, you hear Anakin calling out to you.

"I'll see you on the balcony then!"

The words still hang in the air, and you can't help but replay what happened last night in your mind.

Was Anakin just playing a trick on you, or did he really mean what he said?

Either way, you can't help but wonder how the rest of your summer is gonna go...

You step out on the balcony to see Anakin already there in his swim trunks and a cut of shirt. You couldn't help but to let your eyes linger on his toned arms.

He had a towel slung over his shoulder and a pair of sunglasses propped on his head.

You had on your swimsuit and sunglasses. All your essentials (and Anakin's since you basically had to pack everything for him) were in a big beach bag in your right hand, while the small cooler containing lunch for the both of you, was in your left.

Anakin smiles at you, and looks at the small cooler in your arm.

"Thanks."

Anakin takes the cooler out of your hand, and kisses you on the cheek.

You feel his lips on your face, and you smile slightly.

Anakin sets the cooler on the balcony, and then looks out at the ocean.

"Should we head out to the beach then?"

"Yeah, I think I grabbed everything."

You both walk down the steps on the balcony that lead to the beach.

Anakin walks ahead of you, and kicks up small patches of sand while he walks.

You follow behind him, and the two of you walk along the sandy beach-shore towards the ocean.

The sound of the waves hitting the shoreline fill your ears, and the smell of salty ocean air fills your nose.

As you walk, Anakin's hand brushes against your knee.

When you turn to look at him, you can see that he's grinning.

He's always been flirty with you throughout your teenage years, but it's gotten more intense since last night.

The beach wasn't too crowded. You and Anakin picked the spot in front of the small house you had rented for the week and laid out your towels and sat all your stuff down.

The two of you lay down on your towels, and Anakin wraps an arm around you as you look out at the ocean.

The sun shines brightly, and the sand feels hot on your skin.

You look at Anakin, and he smiles softly at you from underneath his sunglasses.

"I know you didn't pack it, but can I have some suntan lotion?"

Anakin speaks with a joking tone, and you notice a slight redness starting to form on his bare shoulders and arms.

"Ha ha. You're so funny." You glare at him.

You dig through the big bag and finally find the sunscreen and toss it to Anakin.

Anakin catches the bottle, and starts to rub the lotion on his arms.

As he applies the lotion, his arm brushes against your thigh.

Anakin continues to speak in a joking tone, and his eyes flash at you as he says the next words:

"Hey there. Mind helping me get my back too?"

"Sure."

Usually this wouldn't be weird. But after last night...

You grab the bottle of sunscreen and squirt a generous amount on the palm of your hand. You rub it in between your hands for a second to warm it up then bring your hand to Anakin's back.

You work your way from his shoulders to his lower back, rubbing in the lotion. You could feel his muscles stiffen and flex as you ran your hands gently over them.

Anakin lets out a grunt, and tilts his head to the side to give you better access to his back.

You can feel the muscles in Anakin's back flexing and clenching under your touch.

His face is flushed, and he looks at you with his sunglasses on.

You can't help but notice how close you are together, and how intimate this moment feels at this particular moment.

"There." You say as you finish.

Anakin sits up and looks at you.

"You need some sunscreen too, want some help?"

"Uh..." You hesitate.

Anakin speaks with a teasing tone, and puts his sunglasses on top of his head.

"C'mon... I won't bite..."

He smiles at you, and waits for your response.

You can feel your face flushing, as Anakin's words from last night echo through your head.

"Fine. Just... don't make it weird."

You answer, with slight hesitation in your voice.

You lay down on your stomach on your towel so Anakin has easy access to your body.

Anakin kneels down on the towel, and starts to apply the sunscreen to your bare-back.

His hands brush your skin, as he slowly and gently rubs in the lotion.

Your skin begins to tingle, and you can feel Anakin's body so close to yours.

Anakin continues to speak with a joking tone as he rubs sunscreen on your back.

"Well if I were to bite you... where would you want me to bite you..."

"Anakin." You say in a stern tone.

If you weren't giving him time to sort his shit out with Padme right now, there are so many things you would've said.

Anakin stops applying sunscreen for a moment, and takes his sunglasses off.

He turns his head, and looks at you with a slight smirk.

"What? I'm just asking..."

Anakin's tone is playful, though there's a hint of something else mixed into it.

"I just thought it would be fun to ask... especially when I'm already this close to your skin. It's tempting..."

Anakin brings his sunglasses back down to his eyes, and resumes applying sunscreen to your back.

You just continue laying there leaving him in silence for an answer. You didn't want to say something stupid, so you said nothing at all.

Anakin smiles to himself, and continues applying sunscreen to your back.

He slowly works down to your lower back, where he pauses his work for a moment.

Anakin runs his hands up and down your lower back, and then leans closer to you.

His breath hits your neck as he whispers the next words.

"I think I know where I want to bite you..."

He leans forward, and places his mouth on your back.

You feel Anakin's lips on your skin, and you're instantly reminded of last night.

You immediately shiver.

"Anakin." You breath out.

"No. I'm not doing this while you are still involved with Padme."

You sit up.

Anakin sighs softly, and stands up.

He takes a step back, and puts on his sunglasses once again.

Anakin looks at you seriously, though you hear a joking tone in his voice once again.

"Fine. But I'll just have to bite you tonight when we go back to the house."

Anakin grins, and then runs his hands through his hair.

"But I promise that I'll make it worth your while..."

"Figure your shit out. Make up your mind. Then we can continue." You say straight-forwardly.

"Alright... but I'm still gonna bite you tonight. Just so you know."

Anakin keeps a slight smirk on his face, and then sits down next to you on the towel.

He looks out at the ocean and sighs softly.

"So... I didn't expect us to be here."

You can feel the tension in Anakin's voice, and you know he's still trying to process what happened last night.

"Me and Padme... I don't know what to do right now..."

"I don't want to talk about her. When I say 'figure it out' that means to figure it out in your own mind."

You roll over and dig your book out of your bag and begin to read while laying under the hot sun.

Anakin sits there in silence next to you, and looks at you holding your book.

He stares at you for a moment, and then speaks up.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He pauses for a moment, and then looks down at his hands.

"You've gotta know by now how I feel about you right? I mean, it may have been kinda obvious at times... but I just want to know what you think..."

Anakin looks at you with a slight smile, and you feel a bit of hope surge within you.

"You're making it awkward. I told you to forget about it for now. Let's just hang out like usual. Like best friends." You sigh.

Anakin remains silent for a moment, as if he's trying to process your words.

"Yeah... alright then."

Anakin sighs softly and leans back on his towel.

You and Anakin lay side by side in silence, looking out at the ocean.

The sun beats down on your skin, and for the first time you realize how close the two of you are laying together.

Anakin leans over and bumps his shoulder with yours.

He stares out at the ocean, and you feel the hair on his arms softly brush against your skin.

It's going to be hard for you to resist Anakin for the rest of the trip, but you want to make sure he's actually over Padme before you get romantically involved him. It would destroy you if you thought he was finally your and he ran back to Padme again. But you will wait for him. As long as it takes.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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aita for breaking a lot of romantic and platonic relationships over the other imitating me

ive happened to take an automatic mentor role for a lot of people throughout my life, mostly due to my artistic skill/creativity. that includes close friends and romantic partners. i dont enjoy this role at all but i keep getting swept into it. this is a very pervasive pattern and always ends in a messy fight and a break up. after a while the other person ends up imitating me (in terms of copying my interests, art style, stories/worldbuilding, personality traits, etc.) because they want to be more like me and/or impress me, becoming some kind of junior version of myself (this is recognizable to others as well so im not delusional). i enjoy others sharing my interests, however they arent doing this out of a genuine passion for that interest, but because theyre engulfed in trying to appeal to me or simply lack own creativity/identity. i communicate my boundaries and ask them to stop, but this usually has no avail, we fight and i end up dumping them.

the thing is, ive always NTA'd myself but others opinions seem to differ here sometimes. ive been told to take it as a compliment (i dont because its an insult), or that im too sensitive about my identity (true, but i dont see anything wrong with that), while others agree with my actions and find said people annoying as well. controversal topic, so open aita.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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homestylehughes · 5 months

Text

jack Hughes- noise

noise- jack hughes

summary: where jack is the only noise you ever want to hear.

wc:725

PSAAAA: hiii!!! if you clicked on this story thank you so much!! I'm new to writing on tumblr so I'm still learning!! so pls be nice ( I promise I'll get better) anyways hope you enjoy, let me know what you think below (omfg I'm sorry this is so long I'll stfu now<3)

fic below:

time is moving slowly, each time i look at the clock. time is moving slower and slower. I used to love being alone, i used to love my noiseless life, or the noises that i found simple and easy. like the noise of my ac blowing when doing my homework. or the occasional noise of my favorite records i’d play, and dance too around my apartment at 2 am. now i have a different type of noise in my life, jack hughes.

if you would have told me a year and half ago, i be waiting to hear noise fill up my life and apartment; i’d tell you you’re crazy. my noise being jack hughes. there’s nights like these where i really want him here, to feel his noise.

the devils lost to the Sharks tonight 6-3. after coming off a 3 game heater, i knew this loss would be hard for them. for him. i waited for him to call, to hear the noise of his ringtone, for it to ring through my ears. constantly glancing at the clock on my wall, as i see the time ticking by, slower and slower. i just wanted to hear my favorite noise. after most losses, jack didn’t come over. i respected that, i knew he needed space sometimes, and i would always give that too him. but right now i was missing my noise, i wanted nothing more than to grab my keys and head out the door, drive 40 minutes to his place. i wanted nothing more than to call in 15 times, spam him with texts, to let him know that i missed him and that i’m here for him. that i missed his noise.

the game ended 3 hours ago. i keep looking at the clock, time is still moving slowly. i make my way to my bedroom, throwing on one jacks shirts. i slowly make my way to my bed, a bed that feels cold without him. i close my eyes, and try to think of something that can send me off to sleep. all of my thoughts are about jack, and how much i miss his smile. his laugh. his sassy comments. his kisses, oh god how much i miss his kisses. and most importantly his noise. my thoughts are starting to slowly fade, my eyes start to slowly close. as my eyes flutter close for the last time.

i hear a pounding at my door, i glance at my clock and the time reads 3:30 am. who’s here at 3:30 am? i slowly make my way through my apartment, turning a light in the hallway, in which i immediately regret. i turn the handle at the door, not knowing who to expect. my mind goes foggy when i see jack standing in my hallway. all my thoughts are immediately consumed by him again. all of my thoughts are consumed by his noise.

“hi” i say, as i look at jack who’s still standing in the hallway outside my apartment. “hi” jack breathes back out to me. our eyes never leave each other. i can’t take the space anymore, i can’t take the silence. i need his noise.

i pull him into my apartment and slam the door behind us. the next thing i know is jacks body slamming into mine. pulling me into the biggest and tightest hug ive ever received. we stand in my living room of my apartment, embraced in each other arms. no words need to be said between us. i slowly pull apart, too look into his eyes. scanning his face to see any sign of injury, instead all i find is love and calmness.

i grab his hand and led him into my room. knowing my bed will no longer be cold with him in it. no other words have been exchanged yet, no other words need to be exchanged. we get into bed, and jack quickly pulls me into his flush body.

i can feel his noise. i can hear his noise. the steady sound of his breathing. the sound of his heart beating beneath me. this is all i need. his noise. my favorite noise jack. my jack. i slowly fall asleep to the sound of his noise, and now i'm no longer alone. my noise, my home is back.

#nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl x reader #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #jack hughes #new jersey devils #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes x you #jack hughes x y/n

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venomous-qwille · 3 months

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how did u get so good at writing? i envy ur ability to write so well so i do wonder wut u have done to improve urself to reach this point (aka writing better than most non-fanfic authors ive ever read) ofc improvement comes with time and practice, but im just curious as to wut things youve done specifically

Ahh that's very kind of you! I'm so happy you have been enjoying my work!

Honestly before writing gitm I hadn't written anything at all in about twelve years, though I have been working on other narrative-lead projects (I do a lot of worldbuilding for d&d and other stuff). For me, the biggest thing is just reading lots from lots of different genres, finding stuff I like and then trying to reverse engineer it and figure out why I like it. It doesn't just have to be reading either, but watching films, plays, animation, standup. I consume a lot of poetry too. Go out and find art that moves you and then try to absorb it via osmosis. The other thing is: do stuff. If you ever get an opportunity to go out and try something new, do it. Real human experiences are the lifeblood of interesting fiction. Pay close attention to the funny interactions you have with people, the strange things that you see and sensations that come from everyday life. I think that including all those real lived experiences is what really makes writing come alive, certainly that's what I enjoy reading most. Human experiences resonate with people, so I try to wrap all my interactions, all my characters and all my descriptions up in things I have personally experienced. Obviously, this gets easier as you get older, as you have more stuff to draw from ^^ Honestly I think people enjoy gitm so much because it is something I love writing, and that comes across in the work. If I had changed the story to make it shorter, or more fast burn, or something more in line with what I thought people wanted to see, the writing wouldn't be as strong, because my heart wouldn't be in it to the same extent. I am writing gitm for me, it is the story I always wanted to read but wouldn't exist unless I did it myself. Writing is like cooking, people can always taste the love.

#ahh i know that isnt as helpful as the art advice #im actually very new to writing!#i wrote a lot of fic on ffnet as a teen though!#its just been... a while #gitm au #ghost in the machine au #ghost in the machine #asks answered #qwillewrites

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saturnbellfromhell · 11 months

Text

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS IV

Hello! Welcome back to some obersvations for the month of May! I've been super inspired since I've started working in a new firm and got to meet many new colleges. So I hope you enjoy the content and always feel free to comment your opinions and observations!

〰️ DISCLAIMLER

These are my personal, subjective views on some placements and signs. If you disagree, feel free to discuss it down below and not take everything personally.

With that being said, let's get started!

💧PISCES SUN/RISING

These people just sniff out each other the second they lock eyes with one another. It's this familiar family they all crave to feel and it's finally in front of their face. They feel at peace and at home with other Pisces dominant people. They have these glossy eyes filled with mystery and warmth. Every Pisces Sun/Rising/Dominant person I've met has some sort of artistic talent, that being: painting, drawing, sculpting, writing, play any instrument..etc. They are so in tune with the details of life others strive to see. I also think they can be such big day dreamers, introverts and tragically lovley people.

💧MOON IN AQUARIUS

This placement can seem very distant, raw and viewed as a lonely wolf but on the contrary it's a whole different story. Aquarius rules the 11th house, which is the house of community, society, shortly speaking friendships. So having a Moon in this sign really means having a collective feeling with others and wanting to socialize. On the other hand Aqarius is ruled by Saturn, a cold and restrictive planet of time, so Aquariuans don't want to rush things nor spend their time on irrelevant people. By doing so they can seem to cut people off quickly and start over or to overly bond with someone and become obsessed, since putting so much effort and love into them. They want to be seem as rigid and cold to mask their openness and emotional demeanor. When they get hurt they shut off, write it off and try to ignore it, even though deep inside it hurts for a very long time, but they just try as hard as they can to forget.

💧CHIRON IN SCORPIO

Chiron, the healing healer. Cursed with a wound never to be patched up again, but at the same time giving the knowledge to others how to continue with their wounds. Scorpio Chirons are constitley shamed for their sexual energy surrounding them, so most of the time they cover up and try to hide underneath it. They attract a lot of perverted minds to the table by just breathing. This can also indicate a very empathetic and intuitive person who feels absolutely every thing and can/wants to help others, but by doing so breaks themself down a lot of the time. They also have strong trust issues, may abuse their power, can have low self estem, can be frightful and nervous people. When they open up their heart more and let go is when the healing truly happens. They are more wise than they think, but they cannot see it always threw the anxious attitude and self sabotaging persona.

💧 5TH HOUSE IN CANCER

They attract and love water signs. They crave deep connections, star gazing, physical touch, nurturing their partner, tender, sweet and innocent love. These people like to pit their partner on a pedestal and become a little obsessed with them. They want them to be the center of their universe and also want that in return. Cancer is also symbolically connected to the Mother archetype, the womb, birth...etc, having Cancer in the 5th house of romance and relationships means these people really have that motherly instinct and adore when their partner is family oriented of hands on with kids. They love rainy days filled with the smell of baked goods in the arms of their loved one. They want a Romeo and Juliet kind of love.

💧SAGITTARIUS MOON

Now I've grown up with two Sag Moons in my house hold, one being my brother and the other being my father and they are so alike it's hilarious. I've also had 2 very close friends with this placement and again the similarities are off the rails. Firstly they need to always be on the run, optionally having a job which includes a lot of travel or just changing jobs in different places. Secondly, they are so angry when things don't go their way, but they do cool down quite quickly, the most out of the 3 fire Moons. They are also so good in finding solutions with different people and I different situations. They also love to have many hobbies, are known to be book worms and can flow with any conversation quite well. They are also huge extroverts and the goofy bunch. This doesn't apply that much if the native has a lot of 8th house placements, Pluto aspects with personal planets or a 12th house Moon/Sun/Stellium.

💧AIR DOMINAT PEOPLE

It's really hard for Air dominant people to relate to others. They are just overly detached and see everything threw a realist prism. It can be a little annoying to be honest, especially for fire and water signs, who are just passionate and act a lot how they feel.

💧GEMINI VENUS

Here's me again, bashing on Gemini Venuses...but I just can't help it. The Venus sign that I meet and attract the most. From all the people that remarried, had a lot of partners, Venus in Gemini takes the cake. But what I do respect about them is they will not stay in something they're unhappy with for a long time, they have very high standards and will not dumb them down for anyone. They will always find something better and more exiting and that's why they are known to "change" partners and be "promiscuous". Yep, many are jealous of them at the end of the day aswell.

💧LIBRA RISING

I've never met a Libra rising that doesn't have q nice behind! I know that sounds kinda creepy, but it's true. Since Libra rules the lower back, they all have a more rounder rear. The also have amazing skin most of the time. A very plump and glowy face.

💧NEPTUNE IN THE 12TH HOUSE

This can indicate a very cloudy person. They can be very inactive and procrastinate a lot, but at the same time be highly intelligent and artsy people. I mean Neptune does feel at home in the 12 house, so in my opinion if you're going to have any planet in this house, Neptune it is.

💧MALES WITH VENUS IN THE 1ST HOUSE

Now, I know it's such a strange placement to bash since this is a very fond placement to me and close to my heart. But I've noticed a lot of men having this placement can be confused with this feminine energy in their chart. They are very beautiful, don't get me wrong, but when this placement is mixed with a water sun/moon and a fire Mars it's a death penalty. They know they're beautiful and girls get caught up in that trap of emotional intelligence and an attractive face. They also can be a little shallow. I've seen many guys leave the girl they have the most in common with for just a pretty face so they can show her off as a trophy and then go after the other, but still message and crave the one they truly felt something.

💧TAURUS VENUS IN MALES

The thing that gets them the most if a fruity and playful perfume, long bouncy hair and back scratches...trust me.

💧SUN SQUARE JUPITER

A lot goes on in a day of a person who has this aspect. In one corner ypu want to achieve everything and anything, work your ass of and show your strong ego. In the other corner you are so sick of being the more responsible person and want to just run away. They also have an intense feeling about failure. They should lean from it, not run away.

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mistress-ofmagic · 9 months

Text

Around the Realms in 80 days - chapter 21

Pairing: Reader x Loki

Story summary: You have fallen through a portal during the convergence into Asgard and come face to face with Thor, and his brother Loki. With no way to return, you must travel with the two men and their hoard of asgardian soldiers to get back home. Things get from bad to worse when you have to share a tent with the god of mischief himself.

Notes:

Hi!!! Hope you are doing well! I don't have much to say here for once other than the fact I really loved writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it! This is my longest chapter to date standing at just over 5000 words so it has taken me a while! Please let me know what you think as all your comments mean the world!

Read this story on a03!

find all parts to this story on Tumblr here:

Your eyes flickered open. The world was moving fast in bright colours around you. You were vaguely aware of being in someones arms as you travelled through the rainbow tube. You tried open your mouth to speak but you blacked out again.

***

This time when you woke, you woke lying in a bed in the middle of a small room. Your eyes felt heavy, and difficult to open. You just wanted to go back to sleep but there was someone saying your name.

“How are you feeling?” It was a man’s voice you didn’t recognise.

“Hm.” You grunted. You mouth felt dry and strange to use.

How were you feeling? Tired mainly but your torso ached and it felt like there was a heavy weight on your chest.

“What would you give the pain out of 10?”

In your state you thought it was a stupid question. You were too tired to concentrate on anything, you couldn’t even open your eyes, never mind try to think critically about pain.

“It hurts. Like an 8.” You croaked out.

“Okay. I’m just administering oxycodone, it’s a strong painkiller.”

You didn’t care if he was administering orange juice, you just wanted to sleep.

“What is it now?”

“A 6?”

You weren’t completely sure there had been any difference but you wanted to be left alone. The man checked in a couple more times but soon he left you to sleep.

You spent the next few hours drifting in and out of consciousness, barely aware of your surroundings. Your thoughts meandered through your brain like clouds; never able to catch one and hold onto it for long. You were vaguely aware of people coming in and out to check on you, but you were never sure who or for how long they were there.

Eventually you came round to keep your eyes open for long enough to notice the dark haired, blue eyed man sat on the chair next to you watching you closely.

“You’re alive” He spoke matter of factly.

“So they tell me. Don’t get too excited.”

You blinked heavily becoming more aware of your surroundings. You had an IV tube coming out of the cannula in your left hand and a thin oxygen tube in your nostrils that itched if you thought about it too much. You were donning a sexy hospital gown and were tucked under thin blankets.

“What hospital is this?” You asked.

“You’re in Stark Towers.” Loki said, grimly. “They have some wards here, free health care for Stark employees.” Loki sniffed. “The care would have been better on Asgard.”

“I’m not so sure Odin would be best pleased with that.”

Loki didn’t disagree.

He continued to stare at you, not exactly friendly.

“What?” You grunted, your voice still hoarse.

“What?” He parroted, “What?” His voice started to raise, “You’re lucky you are not dead you wretched girl. If you were not in so much pain right now…”

“Yeah well you’re lucky to be alive too! You’re welcome by the way Jesus, next time I won’t bother.” You were in pain and irritated.

“Good, you shouldn’t.” He spat. “ I don’t think you realise… you could have died! I could have lost you.”

You both looked surprised at his admission. His eyes wide and mouth open slightly as if he wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“Well, I’m still here.” You said in a small voice.

Loki sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He looked almost as tired as you felt, with dark circles under his eyes and unkempt hair.

Your torso continued to hurt and you knew that if you tried to sit up it would be worse so you didn’t bother. After all that drama you felt exhausted.

“I apologise, I shouldn’t have raised my voice, not when you are in this condition.” He breathed. “We can talk about this later.”

There was a few moments silence before you decided to change the subject.

“What happened after I fell?”

“I took you back via the Bifrost.”

“And the Fire demons?”

“Thor and the others came out on top mostly, but we didn’t learn as much as we hoped.” He sighed.

“Actually…” You repeated back the conversation you had with the fire demon who had cornered you.

Loki looked thoughtful.

“I wonder what they’re using humans for.”

Your mind flicked back to that conversation which had resulted in you shooting the demon.

You shuddered.

Loki quickly switched his attention back to you,

“Are you cold?” He asked, sharply.

“Er, no.” You ignored the strange feeling in your stomach that arose due to his consideration, a feeling that had nothing to do with your injures.

Loki was still staring at you and you signed,

“I guess I feel bad about…hurting that fire demon.”

Loki continued to stare at you, unnerving you slightly.

“Well,” You huffed defensively “What if he was married? What if he had tiny fire demon babies and enjoyed going to see fire demon movies at the pictures on weekends and I just…”

His eyebrows raised and his mouth twisted into a smile.

“Stop laughing at me, sorry I’m not a cold blooded killer like you.” You turned your face away from him.

Loki signed and looked at you amused.

“You’re sweet.”

You turned back to him to scowl. A rare compliment from Loki and you were outraged.

“I’m not sweet, fuck off.”

He laughed and then spoke, seriously, as if just remembering again why you were here in the first place.

“You saved my life.” This time he didn’t say it angrily.

“Yeah well, we all make mistakes.” You brought the tone back to being lighthearted.

There was a pause for a moment and then Loki said,

“Fire demons don’t get married and have babies, or go to the theatre.”

You turned back to face him, still scowling.

“Well” you spluttered “then how are they created?”

“They’re formed, where the volcanic ash meets the flowing lava in the core of Muspelheim. Some say they are all the offspring of Surtur.”

“Huh.” You let this information sink in. “All of them his offspring? Gets around a bit then doesn’t he, ol’ flame breath.”

“Alas, I see you are back to your normal self.”

You managed to crack a smile and then frowned thoughtfully.

“What was that thing Surtur was talking about rag-thingy?”

Loki sighed and rubbed his head, “Ragnarok.” He spoke slowly. “The destruction of the cosmos and everything in it.”

You took a second to take this in.

“Not to sound stupid but like…why would Surtur want to even cause that?”

He gave you a slide glance.

“Its written in the prophecy that Surtur would bring about the ending of the realms, nothing left but the void. Then, in its place, a new, better world would emerge lead by superior beings.”

“Sounds kind of like a message a cult would try and push. And Surtur’s okay with dying if it means fulfilling the prophecy?”

Loki gave a half shrug,

“Perhaps he thinks he will survive to lead as the superior being or perhaps he feels driven to simply fulfil his prophecy, who can tell.”

“Well the other realms will want to stop this right? He won’t be able to go ahead with it?”

To your surprise Loki continued to look grim.

“It is like you said, some believe it is a mere fairytale, told as fiction or believed by an insolent few with nothing better to believe in. Would your people believe this?”

You shook your head, as you said before, it sounded like a stupid cult.

“Other versions of the story talk of the destruction of the Aesier Gods and the rise of the new Gods and there are many who would wish for this to come to fruition, and rather than stopping it would help enable it. I believe Surtur would work with anyone to help him bring about Ragnarok.”

Your eyes felt heavy again. The conversation had been an exhausting one and despite the fact you should be horrified, you mainly just felt sleepy. Loki noticed your fatigued state.

“You should get some rest. The doctors say that you will be very drowsy after the strong medication you have been given.”

“Thank you nurse Loki.” You yawned.

You were out before you could catch his reply.

***

The next time you work up, Loki was still sat in the chair next to you, squinting and looking irritated while he was apparently watching Ice Age 2 on the television.

“You’re still here.” You blurted out, surprised.

Loki glared at you, “I can leave if you’d prefer.” He said, affronted.

“No.” You said too quickly, his expression turning to one of surprise. “What I meant is…I was just surprised that’s all. I assumed you’d have better things to do than sit with me while I fall in and out of sleep, I’m not exactly much company.

“I grew up with Thor, believe me this is much more preferable company.” He turned back to the TV.

“How are you finding Ice Age 2?” You asked.

“Pitiful. Is this really what Midgardians see as entertainment?”

“Hey, this is a classic.”

He gave you a disparaging look as the nurse came into the room.

“Ah good, you’re awake. How do you feel?” She shot a couple of anxious glances towards Loki but to your surprise didn’t react too adversely to his presence.

“Tired still.” You said truthfully.

“The aesthetic will make you tired, it can take 24 hours for the effects to wear off so you are likely feel fatigued for a while. Now you are awake I can take your oxygen tube off.”

She bent down to do so and you were grateful for the relief from the itchy feeling of the tube.

“You should try and eat and drink something.” She advised you.

Ugh, the thought of food made you feel sick. She saw the look on your face and said,

“I’ll bring you something light, make sure you keep drinking through.” She indicated to the jug of water next to you.

“Here, let me sit you up a bit.” She pressed the button on the side of the bed and raised the back so you were sat instead of laying.

You pushed yourself up higher and cringed in pain at the feeling of moving.

“Are you okay?” Loki asked, quickly.

“Fine just hurts.” You winced.

Now that you were sat up, and feeling more awake, the nausea kicked in much heavily. You took a tiny sip of water and felt worse.

The nurse popped out the room and brought back some crackers, laying them next to the water. You eyed them, grossed out by their presence.

“I’ll come back to check on you later.” She said pleasantly and then left.

You closed your eyes again and tried to fight off the feeling of nausea.

“You should eat something.”

You didn’t reply you were busy focusing very hard on not being sick.

“You should eat something.” Loki repeated.

“Yeah thanks.” You mumbled non-committally.

Loki tutted angrily. “Do not make me repeat myself a third time. Do you want me to feed you like a babe?”

You cracked an eye open.

“Er no, no one wants that.”

“Well then eat something you silly chit.”

“You’re so pushy.”

Unfortunately, opening your mouth to speak triggered your gag reflex.

Loki jumped in his chair and moved his arms as if he was about to touch you and then thought better of it.

“Can you get the nurse to bring me a sick bucket.” You moaned.

“Right.”

He disappeared out of the room for a moment and came back with some disposable sick bowls that you always thought looked like cardboard hats.

“Here.” He passed you the bowl.

You sat yourself up higher and resumed the “I’m going to be sick” position over the bowl. Loki still hadn’t left and you side eyed him.

“Can you go please?” You gagged again.

Even in your state, you had enough pride to not want a God watching you as you threw up.

“Nonsense.”

To your surprise, Loki stepped towards you and gently moved your hair so it wasn’t in your face.

“I have seen worse things than an ill maiden.” He spoke softly.

Ugh, fine, you thought. If he wanted to stay for the show so be it, you couldn’t be bothered arguing. Nor did you have time as it turned out as you expelled the contents of your stomach.

Loki passed you some tissue to wipe your mouth with. You groaned and lay back as the nurse came and took the bowl away, giving you a fresh one.

The aesthetic and painkillers unfortunately did not agree with you, and you threw up a few more times. Loki continued to stay with you, despite the fact that you doubted Asgardian Gods regularly nursed over humans.

“Thanks.” You mumbled grimly as he took away one of your sick bowls.

“You have thanked me nearly ten times now mortal, stop it or I will shut your mouth for you.”

“I am thankful though, you really didn’t have to stay.”

Loki didn’t reply but brought you back another bowl and sat close to you.

“This is humiliating.” You moaned.

“There is nothing humiliating about being ill. Mortals still have such old fashioned ideas about modesty.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You have probably never done anything humiliating in your life.”

Loki gave a little snort but didn’t reply. You stared at him with your eyes narrowed.

“Go on then, what is the most humiliating thing you have done?”

Loki looked at you, unconvinced.

“You’ve just held my hair back while I was sick, you owe me one humiliating story. Also I saved your life so.”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“You’re always going to use that as a bargaining chip to get what you want, aren’t you?” He said dryly.

“Hm. Now spill.”

He took a deep breath in.

He spoke slowly, “A couple of hundred years ago I…I slept with Fandral.”

You stared at him, your mouth opened slightly and eyes widened in surprise. You really hadn’t expected him to say that, you thought he would say something like “once I tripped up in front of the royal council” or “one time Thor left me with a black eye.”

He met your gaze, waiting for your reaction.

“What was he like?” You asked.

He gave you a little flick on the nose.

“Ow. I’m being serious Loki. Fandral is a good looking guy. Sleeping with a good looking guy isn’t humiliating. That’s like me saying oh this one time I won an award for being the too sexy and hot, it was so embarrassing for me.”

Loki ignored you and continued to look like he’d sucked a lemon. “They were dark days.”

“We’ve all slept with someone we don’t like as a form of punishment.” You paused, “Thanks for telling me, I know it meant a lot to admit that.”

He gave a tight smile.

“Don’t get too used to it mortal. I merely told you to stop you from winging about being embarrassed from throwing up in front of me.”

You spent the rest of the day flitting in and out of sleep, Loki beside you the whole time. You were to be kept a close eye on to ensure you were okay to be discharged so you stayed the night. To annoyance, Loki was asked to leave the ward at night. You persuaded him to go and get some rest and get a fresh pair of clothes and with great reluctance he agreed.

That night, you dreamt you were back on Muspelheim fighting fire demons. This time, when you tried to run to save Loki your legs wouldn’t move and you had to watch on as one of the demons took him down. The next time, Loki was completely blue and he was the one attacking Thor and the others while you tried to get to him.

You woke up abruptly, in a cold sweat and alone in your hospital bedroom.

Until now, you had completely forgotten about Loki’s skin turning blue and cooling your burns down. How could you have forgotten that? Was that part of Loki’s magic skills or something else? You were going to have to ask him about it when he visited later. Assuming that he did visit later of course, he had been there for the full day before he might decide his caring duties were finished. You closed your eyes again and managed to get back to sleep.

In the morning the nurse had brought you something to eat, which you managed to keep down. After she’d helped you to use the facilities you were sat up feeling a bit brighter now the aesthetic had worn off and watching day time T.V.

The door swung open but it was Thor that tipped into your room looking somewhat sheepish and holding a big bunch of flowers.

“You’re awake!” He greeted you, and planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Thor! Thanks for the flowers.”

Seeing Thor, future king of of Asgard stood in your small room with the largest bunch of flowers you’ve ever seen felt very strange somehow, as if he didn’t quite fit the space he was in.

“Er, sit down.” You indicated to the chair Loki had been residing in after a few moments of him stood awkwardly at the foot of your bed.

He plonked himself in the chair and then said, rushed,

“Latte, I cannot apologise enough for what happened and I am so glad to see you well. I take full responsibility for what happened to you and -.”

“Thor, oh my god, honestly it’s not your fault.”

He continued to look grave.

“I should have been keeping closer watch on you when we were on that forsaken planet and…”

“Seriously, Thor it’s fine I made my own choices.”

He sighed heavily but looked relieved.

“Thank you for saving my brother.” He said seriously. “Just to think, a little while ago you both hated each other, and now look at you, firm friends.” He beamed.

“Well, okay, let’s not be too hasty.” You tried to sit yourself up a bit higher. “How is everyone else doing?”

“Fine, fine. The rest of the warriors headed back to Asgard. Stark wants to speak to you by the way when you are feeling better. He said he might come down and see how you’re doing.”

There was a couple of moment of comfortable silence when you remembered your dream earlier.

“Thor, erm, can you tell me more about Loki’s…parentage?” You asked, tentatively.

His forehead creased.

“Why do you ask?”

“So there was this moment when I got hit by the fire demons Loki’s erm hand turned blue and like really cold?”

Thor shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I think its’ best I let Loki tell you more about that.”

You sighed, you thought he would say as much but it was worth a try.

Thor actually stayed with you for a couple of hours, watching Madagascar and it was nice to have some company. Unlike Loki, Thor actually seemed to find cartoons amusing and kept guffawing with laughter.

After a while, Loki popped by to see you again. He looked a little fresher than when you’d last seen him, but still had dark under eyes and a pale complexion. He was holding a bunch of flowers himself and he seemed unsurprised but a little irritated to see Thor there.

“I can take it from here, thanks.” Loki told his brother.

Thor kept his eyes glued to the T.V, “I’m just waiting to see if these animals make it back to their zoo.”

Loki glowered at him and Thor eventually looked up and got the hint.

“Er, see you later then Latte. I’ll come down and see you soon.” He gave you another kiss on the cheek to which Loki scowled further and then left.

Loki moved Thors flowers from your bedside table and put his down instead, moving Thor’s to further away from you.

“You didn’t strike me as the flowers type.” You raised your eyebrows pointedly.

“These are from my mother.”

“Huh?”

Loki gave you an irritated look. “She wrote to say she wishes you well.” He fussed over the flowers.

“You… you wrote to your mother about me?”

You felt funny inside, you were both flattered and unsure how you felt about the Queen of Asgard perceiving you and knowing what you got up to.

Loki shrugged your comment off and sat down where Thor had been.

You would normally spend longer pressing him but you really wanted to talk about the big blue elephant in the room.

“I need to ask you something.” You geared yourself up for your next question.

“Oh?” Loki was indifferent.

“Er yeah.”

When you took a deep breath in you caught Loki’s attention and he eyed you cautiously.

“Is this about Fandral again because it was a long time ago and…”

“No! No it’s not about that.” You interjected.

Loki relaxed back into his chair,

“Ok, then…?”

“How come your hand turned blue and cold when I got shot with that fire bolt?” You blurted.

Loki froze in his seat for a couple of seconds.

“I - I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play silly buggers with me, I saw it.”

“I - er what?” You threw him off momentarily with your figure of speech.

You took this moment to push him further.

“Does it have something to do with your true parentage? I saw some things in a book about erm how maybe you come from an ice planet or something I forgot it’s name…” You faltered at the end of your sentence. “But those books you said are sometimes wrong so…”

Loki continued to stay very still, you weren’t even sure if he had taken a breath.

“You don’t have to tell me!” You rushed, “If it’s like a sensitive topic or something I was just curious but if you don’t want to tell me then that’s fine of course.” You blathered.

He blinked a couple of times before he spoke.

“Yes.” He seemed to force himself to say.

You wanted to ask “yes what?” But you let yourself be quiet.

There was a long pause and you thought about changing the subject when he finally spoke.

“I should probably tell you.” He spoke, strained.

“Well, er, only if you’re sure.” You hung on to his every word.

“It seems to have put some of it together already. I can’t say I’m surprised.” He seemed to deflate. “My father, my true father is Laufey, a frost giant from Jotunheim. And my mother…well one assumes she was a lesser frost giant. Either way I was abandoned and Odin took me in as one of his trophies.” He spat.

You remembered reading that now, and your mind flicked back to the pictures in your “Norse mythology for dummies” book. You do not remember them being described as an especially nice, kind people. In fact, you could remember that the Asgardians seemed to hate them.

It did not sound like Loki had the nicest of starts in life.

“And did you always know…?”

“That I was a frost giant?” Loki snorted wildly, “No, Odin elected to withhold that piece of information until a few years ago.”

Jesus, you weren’t sure how to respond to that.

From what you knew and had gathered already you started to piece things together. The idea Loki grew up for years not knowing why Odin favoured Thor or knowing why he was different from others made you feel…sad.

Loki’s face looked pained and although you couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking about, you felt you were well versed in Loki’s inner battles. He stayed staring down at the floor, and continued to not move.

“Loki, thanks for sharing that with me.”

He flicked his eyes up to you.

“You seem unfazed by this.” He scowled.

It seemed he was waiting for something but you weren’t sure what he needed from you. How do you react when someone shares something so intimate with you? Perhaps he didn’t think you were being upset enough.

“No, no, I’m not unfazed, I think its’ really sad! I’m really sorry to hear that happened to you.”

You cringed at your words, you were clearly not very good at this.

Loki scoffed, “You should be scared, not sad.”

Now you were genuinely confused,

“Why would I be scared?” You asked slowly.

“I’m a monster.” He flashed his eyes at you.

“Well, I already knew that.” You caught his eye so he knew you were joking with him but he didn’t smile back.

“I look like a monster.” He said plainly, as if he wasn’t too bothered by this.

You weren’t sure how to respond to that or if he was looking for an ego lift or not. He was normally so cocky about his looks too so this had thrown you for a loop. You felt your face grow warmer as you tried to navigate your words.

“Well er I don’t know if it makes you feel any better but I actually think you look rather…good…you know, er, you’re pretty good looking and it feels like you’ve never really had an issue you know, scoring or anything…”

“Not in this form, obviously.” He rolled his eyes.

“Wh- like…an ultimate form or…?”

“My frost giant form.”

“Right, well obviously I haven’t seen you in that form so I can’t really comment. I also don’t know loads about frost giants so it’s kind of hard for me to understand, I guess I haven’t got much context…”

Loki nodded and stood up suddenly. You thought you must have offended him and he was going to leave but he stalked over to the door and shut it.

“I’ll show you.”

You tensed yourself, your heartbeat quickening, unsure of what was about to happen.

Loki stood at the bottom of your bed and closed his eyes.

Swiftly, his skin started turning a pale blue colour and he grew even taller. Markings appeared on his skin, trailing down his arms and face. Finally he opened his eyes and you were shocked to see that they were a bright red.

Your mouth hung open and you took a couple of seconds to take in the transformation.

“See. You are scared.” His eyes narrowed at you, getting angry at your reaction.

“No?” You stuttered, scared.

You gripped onto your blankets, and swallowed hard.

It really was a shock seeing him like this. It’s not every day someone in front of you suddenly completely changes.

“No.” You repeated stronger this time. “I’m not scared its just that you look, different, and it’s taking me a second to get used to it. If I grew a few feet and turned purple or something you would have to get used to it, ’m not saying it in a bad way or anything…”

Truthfully now you were settling in to seeing him like this and your breathing had calmed down you really didn’t hate it. He still looked like Loki, with the same long dark hair and facial structure. To be honest you thought the colour was pretty and the markings were very cool. The more you looked at him the more you liked it.

“I actually think this is a good look. It kind of suits you.” You said, candidly. “So does all of you look like this when you transform or…?” You asked, innocently.

Loki flashed his startlingly red eyes at you but you thought you could see a hint of a smirk too. You were relieved to see a shadow of his normal self and humour peaking through a somewhat angsty mood.

Loki turned himself back to how he normally looks.

“I meant what I said Loki. It genuinely must have been horrific to learn that there was such a large part of your past that you had been missing up until now.”

He didn’t say anything and continued to stand.

“The monster that parents tell their children about at night.” He chuckled.

“Well hey, if it makes you feel any better I definitely won’t be telling my children about you. And if you’re trying to scare me off you forget I have seen you with bed head, and I still stayed friends with you even after that, no form of you could be scarier than that.”

You managed to get a half smile out of him before he sighed.

“I have gotten used to this part of myself.”

You nodded, encouragingly,

“That can’t have been easy, to find out you are something that your people have always despised and been brought up to hate and to make peace with that. That’s a massive achievement.” You smiled at him.

“Yes I know.” He said, stiffly and rolling his eyes.

“I have made peace with being a monster now.” He eyed you curiously “however a sane human would have rang for the nurse and asked me to leave.”

You snorted, you thought about saying “I’m not like other girls” ironically but you didn’t think Loki would get the joke.

“Are you saying I’m not sane? That’s kind of rude, I’m in hospital, aren’t you supposed to be cheering me up?”

Loki gave you the exasperated look you were used to him giving you.

“Come on, why don’t you sit that blue ass down and watch…” You flicked the guide on “…Harry Potter with me?”

Loki gave you a stern look.

“I will sit down, but not because you told me, because you are unwell and have been through serious physical trauma. Clearly this trauma involved a sever bang to your head which has made you think you can talk to me in such a vernacular way. I will forgive you however, because you are a patient.”

“That’s very generous of you your majesty.”

Notes: What did you think?? let me know!

Taglist:

@creationsbyme @kikster606 @slytherinintj13 @th0rswh0res @huntress-artemiss @jannieka394 @stefffrs @misswimberly @thedistractedagglomeration @yoongissidebitchh @purplekitten30 @mischief2sarawr @johnmurphys-sass

@lonadane @imalovernotahater @lokisgoodgirl @laliceee @dlwrish @paetonnn @lovelysizzlingbluebird @reas-writing @buttercupcookies-blog @acidcasualties @alialiclouds

@buckybarneslovesteve @evelyn-rathmore

#loki #loki x y/n #loki x reader #loki x you #loki smut #tom hiddleston #loki odinson #loki marvel #loki god of mischief #loki of asgard

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stateswscarlet · 8 months

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Hi!! thanks to you and your threads i finally manifested my sp after (wait for it…. this will be long!!!)

3 years of separation and 1 year of no contact!!!!!!!!!!!!

let this me a reminder to anyone out there struggling or thinking time matters. i was in such a lack state for years and had horrible things happen between sp and i but im telling you i took a healthy way to do this and remembered theres nothing i can do to “make” it happen. i reread so many of your threads and read edward art series from a new set of eyes and decided to calmly shift my state ONCE without the expectation of perfection, making something happen, waiting for the 3D, etc (all of which I did unfortunately for a year and a half and never manifested anything “big”) i just shifted my state FOR me 100%. in that moment i didn’t even care about sp, about 3d, about reflecting, heck i didnt even care if i shifted states right. i just DID IT. now ik what you and alia meant by “just do it” because THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

anyways after i shifted my state (probably for the first or for real this time in my whole journey), i felt nothing unusual or different in a huge way (coz why would i? if im with sp i wont feel special all day) and i KID YOU NOT SCAR I think it was like maybe 3-4 hours later he (sp) CALLED me on “accident” THREE times. I was so confused as I didn’t have his number saved yet as I recently got a new phone, but then I got a text from him saying it was *his name* and if this number still belongs to me. I didn’t even panic or freak out or even think “omg i manifested this bc of my state!” i just approached it normally and replied saying it was my number. He then told me “suddenly” he keeps getting reminded of me and has been missing me for a while and wanted to see me. We decided to catch up after uni last weeks monday and it was SO GOOD. he “changed” in good ways and yes i will admit it was awkward at first because we hadn’t talked in so long nor been alone with each other but that went away so fast!!!! we kept seeing each other daily for a week and he confessed he likes me a lot, and I did too and told him ive been missing him. he said nothing ever compared to me and that the breakup hit him hard but he hid it from me. he said he has been missing me for a year now (proof that i actually shifted states and dealt with a “new” sp because a year ago he told me he dislikes me, is completely over the relationship and told me to move on because it had been 2 years at that point and he was thinking of seeing someone else). this week on wednesday he took me on a date to our old special place in my city and officially asked me to be his girl!!!!!!

so from shifting my state ONCE and all the way to relationship it took a little under 2 weeks.

oh also - just because in my story i only shifted my state properly once dont mean anyone else is wrong for doing it multiple times!!! a KEY part of the law is knowing that WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU AND IS NATURAL TO YOU IS WHAT WILL “WORK”. whatever YOU ENJOY imagining is what will shift your state!!!! STOP trying to do everything and worry about stuff thats not yours to worry about and JUST IMAGINE.

thank you again to the loa/ss community and especially you Scar!!! I will most likely still be lurking and supporting you and my other favourites on twt but not as active anymore ;)

OMGGG CONGRATS ANONNNN 🥳 🎉🎊👏🏻🪅

this makes me sooo happy and proud thank you for sharing your success and how you did it!

#success story #manifestation #neville goddard #edward art #states #stateswscarlet

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n7punk · 7 months

Text

i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

#i dont like being negative and im very much one of those bare your own shit people because i dont want to bother anyone #and have been living on a razor edge where i certainly couldnt help anyone else with their weight #but like. we're getting towards the victory stage (as close to one as these kinds of things have) so im ready to finally say how bad it was #ive wanted to talk about it a lot but something was always stopping me #(partly some vague but panicked ''what if'' related to sharing too much)#im tired of being held back and choosing to hold back. i want to move on. as much as my body will let me #mylife

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plaidshirtjimkirk · 2 months

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just occurred to me that i wrote fulfilling the needs 10 years ago?????? time isn't real lmao

more blah blah blah under the cut 🫡🫡🫡

i always say i loved writing that fic. i remember the plot for the most part but it was the feeling of actually working on it that remains with me. i'd picked up writing again after a really long time and it's all thanks to this fandom. everything was exciting. the hyperfixation of best ship and writing as much as i could was a great distraction from having abysmal self esteem.

i never really understood why anyone gave me the time of day around here but i always tried to share the space and do what i could to promote others' content. i enjoyed the hell out of that engagement too because what's better than more content of the thing you love most?

im not trying to be negative or anything, just being real. i stopped showing up because i have lots of guilt for not continuing to do that. also imposter syndrome. it was easy to dodge when i was writing so much and so fast that i didn't have time to process what i actually tossed out into the world. but once endo came for my physical health and the fever pace died, well... all the bullshit i was running from caught up with me. logically, i know im overthinking and perpetuating a vicious mental cycle but understanding something is vastly different from understand how to actually deal with it.

but it's really not all bad. i appreciate the fuck out of everyone. people were so unexpectedly nice to me and i really did enjoy myself when i was super active.

ngl ive been trying to write this post for 4 years. i started it an embarrassing number of times. ill regret posting it but i guess the 10 year anniversary gives me a legit reason to talk about this bullshit. im genuinely not looking for attention, just trying to get some of this off my chest.

and just to be clear (and because im so negative all the time), im okay. mental illness is just a hell of a thing. wild.

so thanks again!! i can't believe it was a damn decade since i wrote that story and started interacting in fandom again, and that people still read it even today.

i don't know when ill write again next or get back to having the energy to give the support and attention that content creators deserve but ill keep on keeping on. 💛💙

#not trek #just plaid shirt things #in the words of one of my best friends when we were about to do some out of pocket shit in valheim... fuck it we'll do it live!!!!!

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antiwhores · 2 years

Note

I really loved ur short story ‘Bakugou’s game’ I would love to see a part 2 of it. Maybe a few months later or something reader is trying to get over bakugou and is really cold to him when he tries to fix their relationship and he sees her at a party with a date and he gets super jealous and possessive after seeing them together. Which leads to make up sex and hopefully reader giving bakugou a chance to make it up to her. Or be totally angsty and make reader pull a uno reverse of him.

Bakugou’s Game: Part 2.

Requested by: @jasmixs @ooftrain-12 @tsukikoxo @coffeeginie

Part one: https://antiwhores.tumblr.com/post/693877274172440576/bakugous-game

Sorry this shit took so long frfr. Ive been SO busy lately to the point its actually insane. Havent had time to even write a sliver of this. Yall probably lost interest but ill post it anyone out of respect for the og request

Warnings: Jealousy, minor violence (reader slaps bakugou again LOL L bozo), rough sex, creampie, happy ending and shit, make up sex, NOT EDITED - BARE WITH ME HERE.

Bakugou was misreable without you, the break up eats him away until he forced himself to go out to speak to you.

Bakugou never understood the idea of someone being so sorrowful about a break up that they forget their pride and beg for the person back. That is, until now. He’s starting to understand why people take break ups so badly. Cause he’s taking it badly.

Everyday is a new thing to notice. Everyday is a new thing he didn’t even know he was used to after dating you so long gone.

When he came home to his apartment you weren’t there to welcome him. When he walked past the bathroom you wernt there to sing horrible on purpose in the shower to annoy him. When he ate at the table you wernt there to tell him about your day in an exaggerated tone. When he sat down on the bed without changing you wernt there to yell at him for his outside clothes touching the clean mattress. When he spiced his food to hot you wernt there to dramatically cough and pretend to fall over. When he woke up in the middle of the night you weren’t there to tell him to “close them damn eyes again”.

Everything was different. He hasn’t moved a single bit of his furniture yet the house changed drastically.

He started to lack on his chores, throwing himself into his hero work. He exhausted his body to the point of throwing up. That and the combination of the lack of sleep and the lack of rest.

He had nightmares of how he acted. It would usually play out with you doing what he did to you. It was insufferable. Every single thing in his dream was something that he’s done before.

He looked down at his phone with his newly founder insomniac eyes.

Doll, Im so sorry. It will NEVER happen again. Im a fucking idiot and I’d do anything to make it up to you. Please just respond back.

Read 34 days ago

Y/n, I see you reading my texts. Just please let me apologize.

Read 33 days ago

Do you still want that car? I know you told me to not buy it but I’ll order it without a second thought if you talk to me. Please.

Read 32 days ago

Okay, Im sorry about the car thing. That was weird. I don’t think you’re a prize to be won with money. I just want you back.

Seen 31 days ago

Stopping by your house today, I need to see you.

Seen 29 days ago

Im sorry. I can’t loose you y/n. I cant.

Seen 27 days ago

My mom is so mad at me. I dont blame her, loosing you is like loosing half of my heart.

Seen 25 days ago

Its been so long since I’ve lived without you I dont know how to do its

Seen 23 days ago

Please love me again.

Seen 22 days ago

I know you see these. Do you enjoy seeing me like this?

Seen 19 days ago

I love you.

Seen 16 days ago

No other person will ever count to me. That stupid bitch at the bar is nothing compared to you. None of them are.

Seen 15 days ago

I left a letter under your mattress. Please read it.

Seen 12 days ago

Coming to your house tomorrow, I really need to see you. I’ll do anything.

Seen 9 days ago

The notes still here, you really break my heart. You know that?

Seen 8 days ago.

I still love you.

Seen 5 days ago

Ill fucking never look at another girl again. Swear.

Seen 4 days ago

I love you even more today

Seen 2 days ago

Whenever you’re ready.

Sent just now.

It was true, you read every single text. You read them almost 10 times over. You weren’t ready to respond.

At first, Bakugou’s texts confused you. This was against his pride. He would never suck up to you like this. So you laid it down to drunk, sad, sleepy, and/or desperate texts. It wasn’t his character so naturally you went looking for answers.

The last month has been terrible for you too. You were staying at your bestfriends house, who was GLAD to have you.

You avoided everything that mentioned him. News, certain social media platforms, public areas, etc. if it wasnt for your friend, you wouldve never gone out.

After that last text he stopped reaching out for the coming months. Things were peaceful, you were okay.

You hadn’t gone back to any club/parties since the incident. But your friend, being a party person, forced you out to a nearby club. They also made you agree to going with this guy, whatever his name was, to have a little blind date. Your friend figured it’d been a couple months and you needed to touch some bitches. You were against it, still getting over Bakugou, but they used the favor you owed them to seal the deal.

So now you found yourself at the club, chatting with a guy at one of the booths. He was actually tolerable, not your type romantically, but someone you’d be friends with. You supposed that the first step to a relationship was being friends so you continued to persue.

He was rather handsome too, not godly handsome like your ex- you needed to stop doing that. Comparing everyone to Bakugou is whats gonna make you single for life. Bakugou was not an easy man to pass.

You laughed at his joke as he continued to tell it. “Yeah man, she was crazy! She ended up calling my mom and telling her that I had set the house on fire! My mom was worried to death! Then she hit me after she found out the house was okay like I told her!”

You shook your head, “Exes man, I swear!” He leaned down towards you, “You got any exes that make you want to start a war?” You immediately nodded, “My last ex was a handful.” “Did he tell your mom you set the house on fire too?” You laughed, “Nahh, thatd be so much easier to manage. My ex, well, he-“

Prying red eyes watched you from the corner of the room. Bakugou didn’t even wanna come to this club tonight. He was, like you, forced to come out of pity of his friends. To think he could’ve missed the chance to see you and this guy flirting and laughing together.

It could be a close friend, maybe a relative, he didnt know. He wasnt close enough to make oht a single word. There was some part of him that aas glad for that nad another part that was incredibly annoyed.

No matter who it was, Bakugou’s hands started to smoke up. His teeth gritted hard against eachother. While he was moaping and suffering you were over here on what looks like a date?

It took everything in him to not just stomp over there and drag you away from the piece of shit. He was glad he hadn’t enough alcohol in him to follow those urges… to a degree.

So he waited. He waited for an opportunity. And he sure as hell got one.

“Oh!” You gasp at the ringing of your phone. You tilt the screen towards you before looking back up at your date with apologetic eyes. “Sorry, I absolutely need to take this!” He laugh, “its okay!” His back cracks when he lifts his arms to stretch. “I needa go to the restroom anyway!”

You smiled that smile that he loved. The smile that should only be directed at him. Not at some random guy you just met.

He stalked carefully behind the guy until he was walking into the back hallway with him. The guy barely had a chance to comprehend a single thought before he was slammed up against the wall with his shirt fisted by the blonde.

The man looked startled and freightened. Who wouldnt be? Bakugou’s stare was one to rival Medusa’s. He felt frozen by the pure hatred glazed over.

“What the hell are you doing with y/n.” The sentence came out between his teeth. The man put his hands up defensively, “Aye man, we’re just on a blind date!”

Bakugou’s palms sparkled threateningly, “Im gonna give yoh one chance,” He leaned down to be exactly in the guys face, “Fuck. Off.”

That was all the guy needed before he was out of the door and on his way home. An immediate wave of relief washed over him at the thought of the date finally ending. The positive emotions quickly disappeared at the sound of a famiiar voice, his favorite voice. “Seriously?”

He snapped his head over to look at you. You were even more heavenly up close, just as he remmebered but better. Your arms were folded and you looked at him with such disapproval that he wanted to immediately crawl to his knees and apologize.

“We’re not even fucking dating anymore. You just chased off my date.” He winced, “Fuck.” You scoffed at his curse to whomever. “I should be saying that not you. Leave me alone, asshat.”

Before he could stop himself he had grabbed your arm and pulled you into the closest vacant guest room. He pinned you against the doorway. You were wide eyed and your mouth slightly open. It had happened in an instant, so fast your brain was still trying to comprehend him grabbing your wrist.

Bakugou bit his lip so hard you thought it would bleed. He didn’t know were to start. This day had been rehearsed in his mind over and over again. Yet the words, the speeches, and the numerous i love you’s were gone.

“Im sorry.” Was all he could get out. Your eyebrows furrowed when he mumbled the words. He snaked his hand around your waist as he whispered in your ear. “Im sorry. Im sorry, swear on it y/n. Talk to me again. I miss you. I’m sorry.”

His head dove into your neck, kissing and sucking on every sensitive spot he gained access too. You didnt even have time to gasp before his thigh pried both your legs open. He grinded the muscle against you.

It took everything in your being to not just give in and let him pleasure you. The resolve in your head, the one that told you that him acting like this is conmmunication is what ended the relationship in the first place, slapped the hell out of you though.

His face broke as you roughly pushed him away. He whimpered while trying to trail his hands on his belt to unbuckle it.

The skin of your palm met his face quickly. He completely stopped this time. The sound of the slap reverbing in his head along with the sting. Not just the sting of the slap, but the sting of knowing he fucked up again.

“Have you learnt anything?!” You yelled, tears brimming in your eyes. “This is the reason we broke up! You can’t resolve everything with sex!” You jammed your finger into his chest, “Start thinking with your head instead of your dick! After all this time, I thought you changed. Im so ignorant.”

You turned to leave out the door. Bakugou saw everything flash before his eyes. He saw the relationship you and him had before. He saw the relationship you could have now. And he saw the relationship that fucked up and now has fucked up his life.

“I dont know HOW!” He didn’t mean to yell, really. But something just snapped in him. You stopped to listen so he continued. “I’ve spent the last several weeks missing you. I never even realized how much I fucking… damn it!”

The knot in his throat was getting tighter. You hadn’t turned around yet. “But I just dont know how…” His voice broke halfway through the sentence. He wrapped his arms around you. You felt no lustful intent, only the desire to hold his #1. “I only know how to show my love through fucking. I can be more open! I just dont know how!”

He started to shake, squeezing you even tighter. After a long while, you finally spoke.

“Then I’ll teach you how.” He looks up in bewilderment, is this you forgiving him? In one swift movement you pushed yourself towards him. You grabbed his worried face, tilting him up to look you in the eyes. He was panicked, a panick you’ve only seen a few times since knowing him. “But for now, tell me how you feel in the ways you understand.”

He seemed confused when your hands encircled around his belt and snagged it off. “What? Wait-“ you cut him off with a hefty palm on his clothed cock. His breath caught into his throat. He barely chocked back the moan that you attempted to tear from him as you dove your hands under his pants. He was puzzled, yet his arousal and the feels of your hands encircle around his throbbing cock hypnotized him.

Instinctively, he reached between your legs to rub you in return. He whined when your hand gently pulled his away. “I’m okay, you just focus.”

Easy for you to say, he thought, or atleast tried to. It wasn’t easy to focus on the situation when you began to pull his cock out and rub it against your entrance. It felt too good. It had been too long. Too long having to rub himself out to a picture of you. The real deal felt euphoric.

His hips bucked into yours, starting at a brutal pace. He picked up your legs to give himself more range. The sounds of skin on skin were loud, not as loud as the combined sound of the moans and groans you both chocked out, but loud.

He tilted his head back, his whole chest was flushed a deep red. He cursed into your neck where he had begun to lick and suck. “Damn it, I-I missed you.” Your whole body tensed when he angled himself to hit that spot deep inside of you. It was your turn to curse.

“I just- these past couple of weeks- nghhh… ive been- I cant live without you alright!” His thrusts picked up, “I regret everything I have ever done to make you upset- hhhnnm…”

Tears well up in your eyes when you start to reach your orgasm. You weren’t gonna last long either. Like him, the sensation was a lot after being away from eachother so long. He had forgotten his strength as he thrusted into you so hard you wouldn’t doubt if angry bruises were already forming.

“Katsuki… I love you,” You whined desperately. He started to unwind, tensing and untenseing, when you came around his cock while moans spilled through your mouth. It almost hurt how stong the orgasm was. Almost.

He bite into his lips so hard it began to draw blood. “Fuck, I love you too y/n! So fucking much!” With that he exploded inside you. His hot seed painted your walls without missing a single spot.

He slowly lifts you down to your feet, only to stabalize you when your knees buckle. He wrapped his arms around you, “I fucking missed you.” You breathed in deeply when he kissed at your temple, “I missed you too Katsuki.”

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the-afronick · 4 months

Text

Normally I like to tally up everything I've beaten on an annual basis but I've been lacking the last two years, so this is three years' worth of finished games: 2021-2023. Also been lacking in finishing stuff until the last third of this year but I think I've got the swing of things again. There are other games finished/completed I've chosen to not count here as they were simply different ports of games I've already done before, but I'm still counting MW1 Remastered to make it a nice even 50.

Since this is all getting typed up right now in one afternoon, enjoy some quick thoughts on each of these.

Finished

Yakuza Kiwami (2017) - Yeah it still feels like a weird version of the immaculate Yakuza 0. I'm not the authority on these but I'm unsure if I'd recommend this over the PS2 game to someone who is willing to play the original.

Call of Duty: Black Ops II (2012) - I liked the split campaigns, though moreso the 80s one. Probably need to play Arma 1 or Reforger to satisfy that Cold War craving now that '83 is canned.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered (2016) - I think I got this with Infinite Warfare off of a keysite primarily to use this remaster as an excuse to replay CoD4. Still enjoyed it and really ended up liking the enhanced visuals/touch-ups in animations. 2007 is still fine to play but this was a fun detour. I want to try the Wii version at some point.

Death Stranding (2019) - A game I was way more curious about its story than I was its gameplay pre-release ended up being enjoyed the other way around. I loved Hiking Simulator 2019, cresting peaks and sliding down into cities while some Low Roar kicks in... and everything about the environments as you head west are the greatest. I'm probably gonna get the PC version of Director's Cut to play it again at some point.

Shellshock: Nam '67 (2004) - What should be a simple arcade third-person shooter ends up being frustrating because reticle bloom is way too much for some of the engagement distances. Not the worst I've ever played but I'm probably not going back to it ever.

Thunder Force AC (1990/2020 Sega AGES release) - I mean I like Thunder Force IV more but hey III's pretty good, and so is its arcade version.

Vietcong (2003) - Originally recommended to me by a friend and I kick myself for not getting to it sooner. Fun, tense campaign of having to take caution every with every move, guns felt great, and overall I had a good time. Regrettably couldn't play the online but ah well.

Postal 2: Paradise Lost (2015) - More of what I remember from playing Postal 2. It's still silly.

Touhou Youyoumu ~ Perfect Cherry Blossom (2003) - This is the one. Yeah, 6 gets the recognition because it's the reboot and has the top-tiered fan favorite characters but 7 takes the wrinkles of 6 and irons them out to a fine crispness. Good patterns, good bosses, and good music. I have no complaints. Want to play a Touhou game? This one.

Touhou Reiiden ~ The Highly Responsive to Prayers (1997) - I first played this at an anime convention in a hotel room full of Touhou cosplayers on their laptop they had hooked up to their TV, mainly wanting to show off where it all started. Touhou's kinda fun as a Breakout game, but this is more of a curiosity than anything nowadays.

Ninja Gaiden (1988) - My second favorite Castlevania game, but man FUCK Act 6.

NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139... (2021) - I mean what else can be said that hasn't already. It's nice that Nier 1 got a revisit after Automata set the world on fire and even though this didn't do its numbers, I missed my friends :)

U.N. Squadron (1990) - Glorious. The SNES/SFC version offers a fantastic and better conversion from the arcade game allowing for choice in mission order and choice in plane selection (though the YF-23 and F200 are effectively the only way to win) to work in tandem with your pilot's unique skill. Not particularly a great adaptation from Area 88 if you're looking for its story and characters but that's not what this game is aiming for - instead, it takes the elements that would work in a shooter and only those elements. You're mercenaries so money is the key to everything, mainly your weapons loadout. There are large superweapons, some taken straight from the manga. The only downside is the grinding element to get more money for better planes in the form of a strafing run special stage that you'll have to play over and over. Highly recommend.

IKUSAAAAAAAN! (2018) - I actually can't comment too much on this one since I only played it through once but it was fun and highly energetic, and Iku is my second fave 2hu so that's a plus.

Halo: Fireteam Raven (2018) - "hey let's play this since we're all together and it's a Saturday night which means bad co-op game night but now IRL!" (moments before friend temporarily lost their wallet.) We finished the fight, but at what cost? About $20 and an hour.

F-Zero X (1997) - Everyone likes GX (and you should) but I like to describe X as the first five feet of stairs on the difficulty curve of F-Zero. You absolutely can lift yourself up those missing steps but wouldn't it be better to ease your way on up? Very fast and grippy compared to SNES F-Zero. I also like the rock/metal soundtrack as opposed to GX's industrial (which again, still good, just not as good). Dream Chaser the greatest. Also that arranged music album is killer.

Project Wingman (2020) - Did you like Ace Combat Zero? Of course you did. Here you go, have some more. It's kinda weird how even with the option to bring in multiple types of special weapons, the strongest thing you're armed with are your normal-ass machine guns.

Neo Contra (2004) - The Shock Troopers 3 we deserved. All I have to do to sell you on this is show you the opening to the one stage where Bill and Jaguar are running on top of helicopter blades.

Udongein X (2021) - There are a surprising amount of Mega Man-inspired Touhou fangames out there to the point where they can be divided into inspired by classic series and X amongst others (maybe there's a Battle Network one too?) This is the latter and since it felt most like MMX1 to me, I liked it a lot.

Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP (2022) - Welcome to the Fantasy nep Zone.

Mega Man 8 (1996) - I hate this fuckin game.

Made Man (2006) - Frustrating. I was expecting a mafia clone of Max Payne but instead it's a cover-shooter with the most mediocre gunplay and braindead AI I've seen in a while. Also the bullet time only activates once you fill the meter and upon manual-deactivation, you lose all of the remainder. Kind of a shame too because some of the setpieces are fun (one of my favorites being a gunfight in the rafters above a rock concert at Madison Square Garden) but it just sucks otherwise. The main voice actor, Rick Pasqualone, does too good of a job for this game when everyone else is phoning it in and I'm glad he got a second shot in a better game as Vito from Mafia II.

P-47 Aces (1995) - Recommended by my friend @bizarredawdler. I got my ass beat.

Carrier Air Wing (1990) - If you liked the arcade version of U.N. Squadron specifically, this is more of the same. Not as good but hey, dogfighting the space shuttle isn't something you do everyday.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge (2022) - This was fun, and probably the first beat'em up that I began to understand rather than just fumble my way through. Would like to do a co-op run with friends at some point. Played as Donatello, he seems cool.

Freedom Planet 2 (2022) - My GOTY 2022. Despite my teasing in numerous late night calls that this was one of those games where the slightest inconvenience resulted in a delay, I can honestly say my expectations were met, exceeded, and blown away. Enjoyed Freedom Planet 1 a lot back in 2015 and while originally hesitant that the artstyle change would bring a gameplay change, all of that faded away when that first demo came out. It's still just as fast and hard-hitting as the first one if not moreso. The reworks to each characters' movesets are nice. Neera is a great additional player character. God I wish someone could get these homebrew'd onto a Saturn because that's the only way this could get more perfect. My one (1) complaint is now Classic Mode being locked behind beating Story Mode once which, while I like the cutscenes and characters, makes it a little harder to recommend to people who just want the pure gameplay that you could immediately access in 1. That's the only thing I'd change.

Panzer Dragoon: Remake (2020) - It sure is Panzer Dragoon 1 but prettier, but oh boy I would not recommend it for full-price precisely because it is Panzer Dragoon 1 with all of its under-an-hour length intact. There's an achievement for playing it for 100 hours... also one for dying once. Don't have either!

Drainus (2022) - Team Ladybug caught my eye and captured my heart with Touhou Luna Nights, and ever since then I'm on board with whatever they've thrown at me. I still haven't finished Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth but I did play this, which was a pretty fun, if not easy STG. Looks nice too!

Call of Duty: Black Ops III (2015) - God the campaign sucked except for one part (you know the one). If you get this, only get it because Zombies workshop support is still alive and well.

Halo 5: Guardians (2015) - I cannot, cannot, cannot stress enough how many times I said "Halo 4 did this better." An absolute goddamn slog of a singleplayer with a dumbass story. The teammate AI will not save you or will kill themselves trying to save you despite the game being designed around squad mechanics. Halo's never been good at boss fights, so here have the same one over and over and now there's three of him hahahaha! I hear "multiplayer is good though!" sure it might be, wouldn't know, don't really care to know.

Dolphin Blue (2003) - Neat little run and gun. Liked the 2D sprites on 3D backgrounds here, very vibrant.

Demonizer (2020) - Neat little shooter, though it does punish you harsher later on for taking hits and losing your allies. One of those if you mess up late you might as well restart.

Ace Combat: Joint Assault (2010) - I really enjoyed Skies of Deception, the other PSP Ace Combat. This one is not that, dropping the Strangereal setting for our own and going with a plot involving insurance CEOs I think. Back to linear mission structure, no choosing the order. Could not play the Joint missions in which you and friends tackle operations at the same time affecting one another which is this game's entire gimmick. I don't remember any of the original music but there are plenty of AC2/3 tracks here which are good.

Demon Front (2002) - Kinda hard run and gun, though it's something I'll have to put more time into to get the groove of it. Otherwise, neat Metal Slug-inspired game! Recommended by a friend who I'm not sure wants to be named.

Raiden II (1993) - I like Raiden. Raiden II is more of that. Simple as.

Burnout (2001) - Another one of those games where you probably played a later one and went back only to discover there's kind of an idea here but it needs to get flushed out a little bit more. I started on this one back in the day and only finally got around to finishing, this time on the Xbox version. Not a whole lot going on here apart from being a standard AA racer of the time with a crash mechanic that's more discouraged than encouraged like its later entries. That AI rubberbanding isn't nearly as bad as NFS Underground 1's but it gets pretty bad. I don't regret playing this but I don't see myself going back, especially now having started 2 which is the ideal form of early Burnout.

Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn (2013) - After teasing my friend @thathomestar for years about it, I finally caved. I don't know MMOs or their systems or what makes for a good one, so I won't speak to its quality. I can make my catgirl fish so hell yeah.

Quake: Dimension of the Past (2016) - Where's the ammo? My gun needs more food!

Quake: Dimension of the Machine (2021) - Gameplay-wise it's more Quake which I love but holy shit do some of these levels look good.

8-Bit Commando (2011) - I thought this would be an okay Contra clone but instead it's subpar. I do like the verticality of your path, but it does feel more linear than it should be. Difficulty is easy even on Hard Mode. There's this weird thing where it'll upload replays of your gameplay as workshop items if you let it, so turn that off as soon as possible. Otherwise, you can't buy this anymore outside of keysites. Done to get footage of the dopefish in it.

Operation C (1991) - Quick, easy, but it is Contra, and nobody does it like Contra.

Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) - Much like Super Castlevania IV, the jump to the Super Nintendo meant that Contra was gonna get a boost in just about every aspect... and much like Castlevania, I still prefer the original NES game to its SNES sequel. That said, I do think Contra III comes out ahead of CV4 with the amount of cool moments that happen, and abilities like locking the aim direction or standing in place and rotating your angle of shooting are accounted for in the increased difficulty. Very cool title, but personally not my favorite.

The Citadel (2020) - This is a fascinating game. While riding the retro-FPS wave, it still includes mechanics from modern shooters like bullet drop, travel time, weapon condition, hunger(?), full-body awareness (even as sprites!), and so on. Levels are really monochromatic. Very bloody and loud when it gets violent, and boy howdy does it get violent. And yet, there's this certain bleak serenity during level exploration that I haven't felt in a while. Looking forward to the sequel.

Castlevania: The Adventure (1989) - You know what? "Battle of the Holy" isn't just a good song, it's good even by Castlevania standards. And that's about the only good thing I can say about this dull game. I'll have to play ReBirth at some point.

Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge (1991) - Better, but I'd rather be playing something else.

Risk of Rain 2 (2020) - This is cheating since I've only seen credits twice or three times, and I normally don't do the roguelikes so again I won't speak too much to it, but I like this one. I've had a fun time alone but it's definitely a lot of fun with friends, and I hope we can come back to it.

Kid Dracula (1990) - What if Castlevania was Mega Man? is my clickbait attention grabber, but also a pretty apt description. It's easy apart from this one railcart section which I felt like I got through on sheer luck than anything else. Still enjoyable.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (1992/2021 Absolute Version) - I've never actually beaten Sonic 2 legit, half from getting pissed off by the special stages and half because I get bored by the time Oil Ocean rolls around. Now that the special stages are actually in 3D and have a draw distance, I finally was able to get through and grab all Chaos Emeralds for the first time without save states or sound test cheat codes. And I was finally able to appreciate just how good Sonic 2 is once that weight was lifted. The levels are fun and a vast improvement over Sonic 1's, and the 2-Act structure works a lot better for pacing. And during the final boss, doing it legit gave a level of pressure that a final boss should rather than turning on debug mode and spamming rings to help out. I think I can go beat this even more legit on my Genesis without the modern assists, but it is thanks to this version that I gained the confidence to do so. Just needed a little help up is all.

Sonic Triple Trouble 16-Bit (2022) - I had a big old dumb smile on my face the entire time.

Sonic After the Sequel (2013/2017 DX version) - I enjoyed this one too. A bit more lengthy due to a four-act structure per zone and the special stages are slightly more miss than hit for me, but it all worked out in the end. The true final boss had my friends and I laughing.

That's all. I'm gonna try to finish up a couple more Sonic games in the new year and also try to beat the Burnout series, with some other stuff along the way.

#year in summary

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