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#ive been sayin this for many years. i just dont. or maybe i do but its such an intangible thing id never date one idk
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its interesting when ppl start discussing the experience u have had your entire life and calling it transphobic and stuff 👆 like damn ive been telling people this for years and now im rethinking everything
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shoezuki · 3 years
Note
cracks knuckles. i promised to elaborate and i will.
the one common perspective that everyone seems to be able to agree on is that techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo are just genuinely funnier than the dteam, and honestly yes it's because if the popularity. if you go back and watch the dteams older (im talking before 2-3mil subs) videos they are funnier than their current ones and i think it's because they're trying to shift their humor to a broader audience?
the minecraft community has always been mainly queer/poc/ndv kids because it was exiled away from "acceptable society" for so long that only the people who had already been "exiled" continued to enjoy it. I, as an example, stopped playing when it became a cringy thing because I was so worried about being seen as weird. now that ive discovered, come to terms with, and enjoy my queerness, i realize that if i had known i was queer back when mc was exiled i wouldve continued to play because i alrwady would have known what it was like to be part of that seperate society. (Please keep reading i promise I have a point)
but then minecraft came back. minecraft became mainstream again, and it came back HARD. watching it go from something that you would be bullied immensely for to something that you would be bullied for not doing was an extreme experience. in all honesty im still angry about it, but that's another topic. when minecraft became mainstream it brought with it all of the people that hadn't been part of the exiled societies yk? including... the dream team.
dream blew up. we all know how much he blew up. i personally dont believe he cheated on the speedrun but to each their own (although after reading your stuff and becoming more critical of them im realizing i might need to reexamine that), and the speedrun controversy brought even more people to his base (cough drama loving straight white girls cough).
when they were brought into the fanbase that's when it started to go downhill. they shifted their humor to fit that, or maybe their humor was always that and they just got more confident in showing it after they had gotten a fan base to back them up. which is also why techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo (who ill refer to just as techno&co now because he's the main one but also that's long as hell lmao) are funnier than them!
for one, their fanbases are smaller. now 5 mil is by no means a small number, but compared to dream's 16 mil? yknow. especially with techno's wack upload schedule he's never had to worry about having a stan fan base because the only people who stay are people who genuinely enjoy his content the way it is.
two, techno&co are mostly ndv. techno has adhd, tubbo has dyslexia, wilbur had and maybe still has depression, ranboo has anxiety, tommy hasnt confirmed or denied his adhd but im betting he at least has borderline. i am in no ways saying that being part of one minority (in this case ndv) gives you free range over another (queer), but all minorities have this understanding about what it is to be part of an exiled community (if that makes sense).
philza and schlatt, not so sure if they're ndv, but they're also older and generally more mature and esp in philza's case, theyve had their chance to make their bad jokes and pull stupid shit and theyve grown out of it (if they ever had that phase at all). techno&co have that understanding and even if they dont know where the boundaries are they know that queer humor (and all humor! other than techno, sbi doesnt really make gay jokes) going to have boundaries, and they respect that.
three, techno is the funniest bitch because he has adhd. i dont take criticism on this point because im right.
i probably missed a lot, probably got some stuff wrong, but all in all i think i hit my mark. i can come off anon to chat anytime if youd vibe w that. no pressure to respond to this! have a good day, etc etc, it was fun getting to tear into the dteam in a safe space. respect for them and their fanbases, their humor is a little off but i still gotta respect how well theyve done. btw i woke up and rolled over and started typing I haven't proofed this at all so yeah. :) - andy
And your brain is fucking massive yo like u must got chronic back pain too from holdin up all these Thoughts in ur head
I really like. Minecraft fans is So varied cuz like u said it was so very 'cringe' before. I got into mc again n playin it w my siblings years before it Popped Off again entirely cuz i stopped Giving a Shit that it was 'weird' or any a that. N sbi have been goin strong through it So Long both when it was hotshit and when it was "cringe"
N definitely like minecraft ive always noticed has a Massive ndv community. I dont know entirely what it is like definitely part of the 'cringe' factor like u said and also cubes make our brains go brrrr? The aspect of self expression in it? I dont know but we Been Here
I do think dteam's content and shit like. It obviously moved in sync with perceptions of mc to garner a Big General audience. Dream blowing up entirely had to do w the Trends and how mc got popular. Therefore hes audience is Huge and Varied
In contrast w techno n like. He has blown up quite a bit too. But i feel its fair to say he Hasnt altered his content significantly. Or at least like. How its presented, what he does, etc. For fucks sake he doesnt have a stream schedule. And although his content is Still garnering a Large and really varied audience it feels more like. Isolated and homogeneous almost
Like. I can go into the technocord right now and say 'dont forget to take your meds' and at least 20 or so ppl would be all like Oh Fuck Whoops. Theres SO many of us adhd ppl in there. I always goof bout techno jus sayin pspspsps and the neurodivergents crawling up from the floorboards but honest to god. His content and jokes and i suppose Personality jus appeals to us So Much. Same goes for sbi pretty heavily honestly altho i feel its most evident in techno's most Dedicated fans
Also. Lbr. The people who stay through technos schedules and content Droughts are the ones who be hyperfixating Abskfvdkdsjsjsl
BUT going into sbi as a Group like. They are friends. And together they are fucking hilarious. N i feel it strongly like. The fact theyre all such Varied people of different ages and such helps w that shit. It Works So Well.
Long story short being neurodivergent makes you funny as hell letsgo
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fictionkinfessional · 3 years
Note
huuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont usually send this many kinfessions for a kin but like. hi. 2d again if anyone happens to be invested in my thoughts…….. annie wayz im thinkin about mudz as i usually do ya know n like. hum. hm. haaaaahhhhh??? idk. i found an interview from the demon days era when he was sober for once n like…. idk. i just wish he was like that all the time? cuz hes genuinely a good fucking dude when hes not pissed off his fucking head drunk all the time. ahhhggggh. today i remembered this one time on plastic beach he just. camr over and grabbed me and he hugged me and he just fucking. cried. for so long. it felt like hours and i didnt know what to do????????? because hes so. open. and closed off at the same time ya know? he doesnt really cry a lot lol and i eas just. so out of my element like wtf was i supposed to do? n. idk where cyborg noodle was n none of the collaborators were there and it was just us and he wss crying so loud in my ear and i could feel how wet he was making my shoulder and i dont think ive ever seen anyone so fucking. sad. and i wanted to help so fucking much but he foesnt TALK about thsi stuff. he just bottles it all up and yeah i did the same but he gets violent n shit ya know i just get. idk. anyway i think i just. after like 15 minutes (cuz he was crhing. for. it felt like decades. i think that might have been the first time hed cried in genuine years and i was there to see it… wow…) anyway after about 15 minytes i decided ya know what. if hes gonna cry on me theres no way hell get pissed if i try n comfort him right? idk anyway i just. started rubbin his back yknow? idk if he liked it or not cuz he didnt rlly react at all but like. eghh? and then when he finished crying he just kinda. collapsed on me? n started sleeping? so i was just. so fuckin outta my elemeng yknow? what was i supposrd to do? IDFK YKNOW? anyway i had to fucking. drag him because i am Weak as fuck and cant carry anythin or anyoen anyway. i had to drag him up to his room and DAMN was he out cold holy shit….. anywsy idk where im going with this im sorry for talking so much im trying to get my thoughts in order ya know 😾 anywayz. mudz. if youre readin this? i kinda interpreted that whole crying on me thing as a kind of apology? maybe im projecting but i kinda hope that was you feelin like. guilty for a lotta shit and that was how you were sayin sorry for it ig? im prolly completely wrong but if in the off chance im right ! uh. i dont forgive you. but i do at the same time? idk man shits complicated. anywayz if we ever like. meet again. or somethin idk but uh. if we do. and you ever just wanna sit down with me maybe cry a bit? fhats fine. just as long as you dont expect me to like. fo anything because im real fuckin bad at comforting people then uh. thats fine! ok im done now bye bye stay safe i love you all hugs and kisses mwah mwah mwah xoxo et cet er a et cet er a
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hiraethstill · 5 years
Text
THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (8/6)
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!
LIVEBLOG:
YEETS IVE BEEN W AITING FOR INTRASQUAD GAME
yess mimura and kawashima get a moment to shine
LMAO i love asou
also his hair is super cool
hell YEAH there are some great first years
omg the second and third years look like a mafia/gang
MY BABIES ASADA AND KUKI
lmao mogami really out here
natsukawa i love you
TAKU WHATS WITH YOUR CHEEKY GRIN LMAO
ah nvm thats why heh
its kinda strange to see taku wearing the white cap
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CHILD I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
kuki starting!!!!!!!!!!!
and asada wishing his bf good luck
LMAO kuki why you gotta be all dramatic with your "okumura koushuu"
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A WHOLEASS S O N
skldjg why'd yall have to prolong the shot of yui holding a hand in front of masashi like he's holding him back
ooh kagami another son
asahi... will have to remember that name
A
AS
ASADA CALLING KUKI KUKI-KUN IM NO T OK A Y
IM NOT o K         A            Y
aww asada bby youll gain confidence too!
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what a lovely shot
eijun!
eijun's hair flying behind him is really pleasing
aww eijun wanting to be a good senpai to asada but also being considerate
harucchi working so hard im so proud of him
but also eat!!!
good job kanemaru taking care of people
(toujou in tow)
always trying to accomplish something... big mood
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look at him... trying to smile...
i want to hug him
kanemaru go hug him for me!
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HE'S SO?????????? PRETTY?????????
TOUJOU TOO I SWEAR
LISTEN
TOO MANY KUKI SHOTS TO SCREENSHOT BUT JUST KNOW HE'S BEING PRETTY AND WORKING HARD
why did ochiai look so different
takatsu!!!!
YES I KNOW ASADA YOU'RE CHEERING FOR YOUR BF YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB
kanemaru talking like he knows takatsu i demand interaction stat
HELL YEAH TALK ABOUT MY BOI TAKATSU LIKE THAT
takatsu's voice is partly right behind my nose its strange but i guess not bad?
I CHOKED ON MY FOOD WHEN TOUJOU CALLED HIM YOUHEI
HOW DID YOU FORGET SUN
damn right seidou is crazy but not in the way that you think kuki
asada get over here i will Hug You Fiercely
lmao koushuu lowkey throwing shade but not really
CLAP KOUSADA CLAP BATTERY CLAP
HAHAHAHA HOW MANY TIMES DID MOGAMI'S VA HAVE TO SAY THAT TO DO IT CORRECTLY
KUKI WITH THAT C ONFIDENCE
he would make a good captain hMMST
TAKU CONFIDENCE TOO
ASADA CHEERING KUKI ON HAS WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN, FED MY CHILDREN--
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ANOTHER GRATUITOUS KUKI SHOT
KARIBAAAAAAA
omg if kuki reminds kariba of sawamura then is this ace foreshadowing
i can still dream about kuki asada double ace right
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SCREAMS ENDLESSLY INTO THE VOID
LOOK AT THEM
LOOK AT T H E M S T
aw kuki cares about toujou so much
WAAAAAAAAH ASADA'S LITTLE "YATTA"
omg kuki bleps too? 
like mochi like mukai lmaoo
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LOVE THEM
okay yui your gay is showing hlskjdfs
masashi put yo aura away
good job kawashima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pats kariba gently
my heart is breaking for all these third years
esp nabe...
CRIES HARDER
THEY STILL WANT TO HELP OUT
STOP THIS PAIN I TELL YOU STOP IT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
TAKATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS
representing them............. im not o kay.............
HLSKDGH THE LITTLE EMPHASIS MARK WHEN HE CALLS ASADA
KOUSHUU ITO TAKU GANBARREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ASADA TOO OF COURSE
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WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE ONE (1) SETO TAKUMA
AAAAAAA KUKI ENCOURAGING ASADA IN TURN I LOVE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIENDS
oh god oh god have i also mentioned how GORGEOUS taku's voice is i cANNOT
asada bby i dont think youd have ever been ready for this game 
YAAAAAAAAAARGH KOUSHUU BEING ENCOURAGING
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH DEAD-LAST-AT-THE-DINNER-TABLE SQUAAAAAAAAD
WAAAAAAAAAAAAH ASADA REFLECTING ON KOUSHUU STANDING UP FOR HIM
I ALSO SUPPORT KOUSADA HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I SHOULD SAY IT AGAIN
"maybe he thought of me as a friend" ASADA FUCKING HIROFUMI WE LOVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU
SOMEONE HOLD ME
YOU SHOULD HEAR THE DYING WHALE NOISES IM MAKING
OH GOD
OH GOD
IM
IM DEAD GONE GOODBYE
okay sun we getting a lil cap happy here
eijun you doofus come out from behind there
LMAO "IS HE SCARED" KOUSHUU IS HIS FRIEND EIJUN
HYAHA ZONO AND MOCHI READ MY MIND
i fucking love love love how taku and koushuu shared that one brain cell right there
LSKDJFLGSHKG "he throws faster than me"
TAKU ENCOURAGING ASADA AAAAAAAA
at this point i should just make it an OT4 - koutakuasakuki
hell yeah pretty koushuu shot
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hello have i introduced you to my SON
WAIT WAIT WAIT
REWIND
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TAKU DAS GAY
ALSO HEIGHT DIFFERENCE
literally this looks like he's about to go in for the kiss
i meant the kill but same difference
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WHY ARE YOU SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE
hsljkdfghjslkfdj IVE BEEN WAITING
FOR THE "taku, what was that."
AND TAKU'S VOICE ALL CHEEKY LIKE "NOTHING" MAKES IT EVEN BETTER theyre SO CUTE
im gonna watch this segment again
screams softly in koutaku rights
koushuu's so used to him like that lmaoo
he just gives him a reminder and moves on
ALSO EVERY TIME KOUSHUU AND TAKU CALL EACH OTHER TAKU AND KOUSHUU MY HEART JUST DOKI DOKIS SO DAMN HARD
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what was that twitter post i saw today? the cliche meme with "oh my god the grumpy one is secretly in love with the sunshine one"
also obligatory pretty koushuu shot
asada is so confused poor bby
TAKU SHARING KOUSHUU'S BRAIN CELL I CANN O T
TALK ABOUT A DYNAMIC DUO
THEY ALREADY THINKING ABOUT WINNING
THE S OUN D ASADA MADE IM MCFUCKING DYING
LMFAOOOOO
couldnt get a screenshot but taku looking at koushuu like that makes me melt
even better koushuu pretending not to notice
audience members who asked you
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this screams found family
eijun cheering asada on....... still behind that pole
what a goober
HYAHA MOCHI READING MY MIND AGAIN
LMAO "asada's an innocent guy" too true but also gdi eijun
ooh we stan asada being perceptive about koushuu
yessss asada you go kick ass
HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "IM ALREADY DEAD"
HOLD UP IM LAUGHING TOO HARD AHAHAHA
taku i see you you lil goober hiding all blurry in the corner while koushuu calms asada down
koushuu havent you heard? tapping your glove against people's chests is gay
asada being formal @ koushuu lmaoo
and koushuu telling him not to straight up lmaoooo
TAKU WE GET IT YOU LOVE KOUSHUU
good JOB asada pitching from the stretch
no remarkable features??? no asada you are unique and wonderful and i love you
ooh the nice sound - that's koushuu's soft touch catching right
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his cheeky grin and WHAT FOR
mochi's voice sighs happily
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might as well give yall a cute eijun while im at it
OH YEAH
HELL YEAH PLAYING INFIELD IN AND GETTING AGGRESSIVE
oh hello that is an intense face you're making good sir
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WHAT THATS IT SERIOUSLY?
GIVE ME MORE FIRSTIES
preview
taku!!
hahaha when you put kuki's face then asada's expression like that one after another
also them talking here
who's on fire?
cries softly of course you'll meet expectations asada
SUMMARY:
minor 3rd yr appreciation!
kuki's mindset STRONK
hug toujou RIGHT NOW
kane, toujou, kuki squad!
DEAD LAST AT THE DINNER TABLE SQUAD
my heart breaks for 3rd yrs who cant play
eijun a goober
koutakuasakuki JUST SAYIN
koutaku one smart brain cell
See you next week!!!
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lowkeysebastianstan · 5 years
Note
hey there. I totally get your frustration with endgame and the ending. I wasn't happy and I'm not happy how half the fandom tells me/us how we have to look at it. how we have to accept it. how the actors are happy with it and so should we. how the writers/producers - okay, I'm gonna leave them out of this seeing neither of them have any idea what they have done in the first place. after all they disagree on everything in every interview since the release. and isn't that funny? (1/?)
how even they are not on one side with the movie? what I despise most right now when it comes to this movie and this fandom is how we are treated. how we should tag our “hate” - which I think is funny since I didn’t hate the movie entirely. I hated pieces of it, like I did with past movies. I never liked doctor strange and even back then people were allowed to mention how casting cumberbatch for the part wasn’t the smartest idea they had. (2/?)
people want us to be happy with an ending that doesn’t make sense to us and they appreciate and are “allowed” to shove down our throats with their happy posts about a perfect ending. how is taking tony’s life after he finally married pepper and got a daughter is perfect? how is sending steve back to peggy after they did everything in their power to convince us he moved on from his past life…how is that perfect? (3/?)
you can probably tell I’m bitter. I really am. there’s not a day that goes by I’m not frustrated with what we got after ten years and 22 movies. however, I thought to myself what would it give me to cling on to this on my blog. would it change anything? I do know I’m not alone. I see so many people agreeing with this anger and it gives me some sort of peace. at the end of the day, though, it’s also important to see what it gives to you. (4/?)
talking to one of my closest friends about it and voicing my frustration with the end helps me more than keep posting about it. because in the end it won’t change a thing. the longer I surround myself with the frustration and anger and everything that comes with this not being what I had hoped for the more it pushes me from the fandom. of course everyone do as they please and I get people who want to get it out of their system. (5/?)
but maybe sitting down and look at what the constant repeating will give you in the end, realizing where it might end, could help finding some kind of peace for you. I’d hope for you to enjoy the parts of the fandom that still apply to you. I really like your blog and you as a person and I’d hate to see one of my fave people on this site to leave (I lost count, but this is the last)
whew! hi right back, that was quite something. 
i feel ive answered this ask before, was that also you?
i mean, yeah. i know im not alone, i do. i see some of it on my dash, but not a lot, since ive had to block every marvel related tag just to keep from indulging in some light murder (just gentle ones, not to worry), and i really cannot fathom why ppl on the other side of the isle can’t do the same? or if you’re getting tired of the negativity? blacklist. or unfollow, block even. 
as ive said a few times lately, ive been here 6 years. and this is the first time ive aired my frustration in any noticeable way. sure there’s been a few occasions where i got the salt shaker out, but that was in relation to much more limited subjects, and it was a post or two at the most. 
ive been frustrated with previous movies too, but ive kept my trap shut, ive just gone on, kept my queue stocked, giffed the rare set and hid behind pretty solid content, no drama, not personality, no engagement. 
and it’s not too bad, to just be anonymous, to look at the pretty, spread the pretty, do the occasional tag rant, and let that be it. 
but.
when i came back after a long hiatus last autumn i started writing again. i posted a psa where i apologised for the fact that i would reblog my writing on this blog, i informed what tags i was gonna use, and for the first time i actually checked my follower count before and after. i lost 20 followers the first day. for posting writing. my writing. that was tagged to a ridiculous degree. and i saw a fair few more disappear before the exodus, and idk. i made me realise a thing or two.
one, people like my blog and the content i post
two, they’re only here for that content
three, to have a strictly themed blog will limit you horribly
four, my followers in general don’t give a shit about me, only about the content i post, which fair enough
five, i care about that, even if i don’t care about the follower count as such, i do care that the ones i have actually like me
six, which is completely absurd bc none of them knows me at all, i never show myself
but that was then. this is now. and the last weeks has made me realise the most important thing of all, i dont care any more. why the fuck should i? when my showing any kind of negativity about something that i did care a whole lot about but i no longer have?
endgame might have killed all my enthusiasm for the mcu, and it fucking hurts. it’s been a staple in my life for years, ive invested my time, my creativity, my love and my goddamn money, and ive got jack shit to show for it. i have a blog that i used to love, but is becoming alien to me, and that hurts too. ive invested a lot in this blog too, after i deleted a few of my other blogs a couple of years back, this is by far my biggest one. and im torn tbh. 
do i want to leave it? no, i don’t. can i go back? honestly? i doubt it. if my love for the mcu is gone, well so is bucky. and lets be real, a sebastian stan blog with no bucky? i cannot really see it, can you?
but hey. ill make you a deal, all of you. ill ease up on the memes, i won’t stop bc i have a few scheduled, you guys blacklist or unfollow if you dont want to see them, and ill see about sprinkling in some sebastian content if i can find any i deem worth it. 
also i don’t have any close irl friends to air my frustrations with, everyone here loved this crap, and that’s not really the discourse im looking for. but im happy for you, it sounds nice :)
hope you’re having a great day! 
eta: i won’t leave btw. not unless the porn hub thing comes into fruition. just so you know, and if anyone cares. just sayin. 
eta2: also? the fact that i, or we, are complaining and being pissed at the movie, but the opposition are attacking us for doing that? instead of, again, fucking blacklist and leave us the fuck alone? yeah, doesn’t help with the bitter. if y’all are so threatened by our arguments, maybe you should reevaluate your own, seems you’re trying a bit too hard there. i don’t want to take enjoyment from anyone, i envy you too much for that, but ffs, just leave me the fuck alone to deal with it. (that’s not @ you, that’s to them)
eta3: and thank you for saying im someone you like. but see? ive been trolling you all, im terrible. and i expect you don’t like me as much now anyways. but thank you, it was nice to hear nevertheless.
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synnematic · 6 years
Text
DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One
for @saboace-week
TWO PARTS:
Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters
a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773
A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter
a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889
Summary: 
A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.
Letters to No One
Dear Sabo,
This is stupid.
Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.
i know youre not coming back.
you’re dead
you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late
but im fine
im fine
im not fine
luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.
we’ll get thrugh it
fuck this is stupid
what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it
you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this
fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore
sorry
im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here
i miss you
    ace
sabo,
hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?
this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud
sorry
its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because
well you know
went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.
i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not
youre still dead and im still breaking
i dont know when its gonna stop
if it does at all
    ace
sabo,
Is it nice where you are?
Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.
It sounds warm.
I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here
I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?
The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe
Ive been thinking about death a lot lately
    ace
Hey
I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.
There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.
So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.
I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.
It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.
We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.
I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.
I just don’t want to forget you sabo
    Ace
Me again,
I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.
Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.
I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.
You’re up there somewhere huh?
Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?
Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.
Wish you were here
    Ace
Hey Sabo
I think I need some advice right about now.
It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.
I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.
Not that that really worked out.
Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.
So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.
So tired.
And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.
Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?
They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?
Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?
I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.
I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.
    Ace
He KILLED him.
One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.
I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.
The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.
Well not this time.
This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.
This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.
I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.
I can at least do that.
Sabo,
I’m getting close.
I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.
I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.
Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.
It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.
    Ace
Sabo,
I’m being executed today.
Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?
Damn it.
Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.
I don’t want to do this.
He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.
Maybe I’m just stalling now.
They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.
ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.
The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.
Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.
I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?
Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.
Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.
Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.
And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?
They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.
I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—
I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.
I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.
But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.
I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?
Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.
Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
    Ace
A Couple Years Too Late
Dear Ace,
         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.
If only I could tell you.
I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.
Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.
Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.
It must have been really hard on you…
I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.
Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.
I can dream, right?
.
.
.
Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.
When you found a family .
I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.
Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?
Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.
…I’m sorry.
Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.
A long while.
It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.
Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?
Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.
And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.
Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.
Fourteen.
It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?
Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.
Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…
I miss you.
God I miss you so much.
It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.
Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.
But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.
By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.
I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.
Fifteen.
We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.
         Sabo
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lokbobpop · 3 years
Text
Clearly
in a clear manner : in a way that is easy to see, hear, or understand. : in a way that is certain : without doubt. See the full definition for clearly in the English Language Learners Dictionary.4
C13 clere, from Old French cler, from Latin clārus clear, bright, brilliant, illustrious.
Clearly cl ear ly cle arly cl early
Writing the word clearly
Clearly you haven’t understood what im saying thoughts of being annoyed i see i get angry when ive ask for something and its not done or done differently like yesterday when i found leilani hadn’t sent a card for my mums birthday yesterday when id been reminding her for weeks to send one and she didn’t and i then feel anger as she hasn’t bothered she didn’t care i feel annoyed unheard wanting to be respected why because i feel i should be being there mother why because thats how it should go why im older so deserve the respect why mm well not sure on that one hey lol i like to think i know better but i actually dont also believe age has anything to do with it and actually the younger people of today do know more and i see ive been just like this and dont like it about myself being forgetful and cant be bothered.
Reading the word clearly
It got attitude clearly you haven’t understood clearly your not doing anything about it clearly your stupid and so on anger within this word for sure.
Clearly people aren’t going to wake up in time for the world collapse and there will be great suffering for many
Sayin clearly out loud
Clearly you’ve not understood clearly im not going i cant
Seeing chris say clearly to me in a rude way and i feel unset being spoken to like that why because why does he have to speck to me like that its not nice makes me feel he thinks im stupid and i not im much better than him why because i am ive got my shit together he’s still an angry person so im obviously better why well i think i am why because i have to be right why ok no im the same i still get angry and yes he’s just showing me the anger within myself still when im no it angry at him being angry to me then maybe im getting somewhere yes what living words will help you when chris says something in anger letting go like letting go of my own anger and what i feel he’s going to me. Self love to love myself in who i am in every moment.
I can see clearly now the rain has gone i can see all obstacles in my way lol
I had my ears cleared out and i cant hear clearly now for the first time in so many years.
When something is clearly signposted
When someone explains clearly for me it feels much better
Sf
Does this definition support me no it has a lot of anger attached to it when i say it im pissed off and when its said to me im pissed of lol
Clearly cl ear ly
Clearly
To hear clearly
To put things clearly to understand better
How will you live this word?i will live this word with seeing my self more clearly like who i am in more moments so i can live me better with living words especially with chris and being angry with living words of letting go reflection and self love
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aeiou-12 · 7 years
Text
-Sep. 7, 2017-
ive decided to make this account kinda personal and use it to somehow help other people out as well but also get some of my writing out there since i dont really have anywhere else to put it but online, anyways i dont have many followers at all, just mainly my friends and maybe a few others idk i havent checked i really hope my writing helps someone along the way i mean i love reading shit like this that i actually relate to and can read and understand where the writer is coming from and i have just realizing that people who act all fucking perfect are screwed, were all screwed tbh its just life ya know and theres nothing anyone can change abt it but if you honestly think abt it this shit makes us stronger and i strongly believe that stuff happens for a reason and whatever anyone is going through will get out of it it might take seconds, hours, weeks, years even. i know this is really shitty to say but being for real my life has been a mess for a little while now but im thankful this shit happens im gratful to be a strong young woman i am today that has made it through the shit that i have which sounds really really shitty but if you know me you might get what im sayin or maybe just think im over dramatic.
im very against bulling as i have struggled, partaked in, and seen happen to people who i dearly love. many do not know or heard much about this but i lost someone  very close to me by suicide from cyberbulling which is actual fucking trash why should someone force themselves on someone over the internet just to kill kids that have done nothing wrong to them, idk its just fucked up.
imma probably gon write tommorow also dont mind my spelling and or grammar its all fucked up ik but if anyone ever needs to talk to someone please get in contact with me im always free im normally not on here alot unless im writing of course but you can contact me on my social medias if its important please dont hesitate to or you could send me asks i just wanna help everyone i can. gooooodnight :)))
instagram- riley.glasser
snapchat-rglasser6
facebook-Riley Glasser
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Text
Life these days!
Hmph :) So i have never..no let me write that in caps! So i have NEEEEVEEERRRRRRR (aha👌) felt this before. Like no, no its not cause i dont have a good vocabulary or something or like im not good with words or something, i mean those are not the reasons. But but i REALLY REALLY find it impossible to describe -IN WORDS- how much I feel for him. Like you know how somethings bugging you..Oh well everything bugs me.. And i DIEEE to tell him..But i cant🙃 So idk I just talk to myself maybe or like atleasr i have words i can use. But like those stuff are wordless. He means so much to mee.. And God!!!!!!! You have no idea how restless you feel when you have to keep such strong feelings suppressed within you! So normally I had some stuff to do. Like arranging my room, my clothes, my shoes, my stuff n all and i thought ill do them towards the end of vacation or in other words after my bro leaves which is like in 10 days but then i already feel like vacations ending. Now i dont mean that in a 'dramatic' way like you know, how your whole life every vaaction when its ending theres this sadness or happiness, well that depends. But like i mean there is some emotion you have towarss it and its like a "thing" like OH noo or oh yaaaayyy *dramatic* vacs almost over!!!!! Bleh -- yeah that ^ isnt there anymore. Cause like now im more of living life one day at a time. Like sure as hell i have plans/ dreams for future but when im 'living' a day at a time and you know that saying about how lifes a 'journey not a destination' - well ive been hearing it SO much since i was a kid. As in its such a mainstream quote that i just took it as something cheap and tacky w/o ever even realizing what it wants to say. I mean ok i do understand ehat it means but only now i can realize the 'depth' of it after experiencing life a bit. I think it means to say that life is ongoing, it will forever be until ofcourse we pass away. But like, then 'passing away' is the end point aka destination BUT nothing else before that is. So since passing away is certain we can ignore it and say that theres no 'destinatiom' in life. What we usually mistaken as destination are our 'dreams/ goals’ in life. But no, they are not destinations or end points. They are your targets. You want them, and yes you will adjust your life in order to focus and head towards your targets and youll be fighting for it and eventually you will reach it one day but. Your life will not end there. It does not end there. You keep living. New problems may come up. New targets will arise. So you see? Life is ongoing. May be these days youre living life but its not anywhere close to your dreams/ goals but BUTTTTT your life right now is also AS REAL as the life youre always picturing in your head. IT. IS. AS. REAL! so yeah life is ongoing. Its vacation now but yeah it wont be anymore and its not just the fact that it wont be vacation anymore but to add to that itll be SUPER hectic but yeah thats life and then before you know it therell be a vacation and then itll end and blaablaa. Life goes on!!!!! And you need to be okay with it and face anything that comes in your way with an open heart! I said face it. Means sometimes you need to accept, sometimes fight, sometimes struggle, sometimes cherish. Aha soooo ok lets get back to what i was sayin :3 Yeah so i mean its almost a month left, and for me i kind of feel like vac almost ending and i just dont really want to keep sruffs like cleaning and organisjng for the week before uni will start. So i did it this week. Also i kind of eat now. Like 'listen to my heartc typa eat. Like not apples and almonds and tea all day! So i also need to work out and so i decided this week i was going to focus on arranging my room, washing my scarves and all and my shoes and stuff and working out and eating and chilling. So well im not really done with it but its going ok. Also the reason i feel like vacation's almost over is because i finally came to know which 'rotation' i am going to start with in 4th year! So its like normally in 4th year there are 4 rotations. Surgery, Pediatrics, Internal Medicine and OB Gyne. So the females get the first 2 rotations that i mentioned above in semester 1 and the males get the last two. And in semester 2 females get last two and vice versa! Now within females/ males - you divide into 2 large groups. So 2 female groups - one starts semester 1 with surgery the other starts with peds. And similarly for males. So the whole batch is divided into 4 larges groups and at any time of the year all the 4 rotations are going on with different groups. Now lets talk about any ¼ group. So in that one group, theres roughly around 50 girls for example & they will start with lets say ‘surgery’. So now among those 50 girls, theyll need to make smaller groups of 5 members each so like 10 small groups of surgery. And now this 5 girls will be together for the whole rotation in the hospital. They go to see patients together. They meet the doctor together and everything. Only once a week there is ‘academic day’ on any specific day depending on your rotation and on that day all the 50 girls will have class at uni and like its a long day usually till 5 with many lectures by doctors. Aha so to summarize, that's how it all works! Now the thing is. People have preference. Like which rotation do you want to start with? Surgery or Peds? Haha Also, the thing is you dont get to decide! You just randomly form two big groups of equal number of girls and then they will assign a rotation randomly! But then people have preferences! Like some wants to start with surgery & some with peds. Now both has advantages & disadvantages! Surgery - ok this is hard! Its a fact, not my opinion! And it doesnt just end there! The doctors who teach surgery well let me rephrase..The “surgeons”! Well they're “surgeons” so they kind of expect you to know how everything works in the hospital right from Day 1 & they are less friendly, they teach less and expect you to know more! But if surgery is your 1st block how will you possibly know how things go in the hospital! So yeah you need to be alert always! Ok but the good side to starting with surgery is that since youre starting with it right after vacation youre all energetic and motivated and all and you can give it the attention and energy it really demands! But with time you seriously feel less motivated and its harder to study for uni! Well that is no excuse to slack off but then yeah in order to not slack off you need to work harder and harder! So thats the thing! Surgery is just easier to handle if started first but then the surgeons are the problem! Now peds. So yeah the things goods & bads of peds is the opposite of surgery! The doctors are extremely friendly and they teach but but peds is boring. Infact i personally hate peds and obgyne! So yeah! Now at first i wished i start with surgery but then with time I wanted peds. Cause like I really want to work hard for each and every block and so the timing of the rotation shouldnt matter! Whenever whatever comes, i have to face it and ace it! Simple as that. So if i start with peds I will also be able to start with friendly doctors and will have enough time to get to know how things work in the hospital rather than having surgeons who expect you to know everything on day 1! BUT BUT thats just my preference which switch from surgery to peds and anyways final say is not in my hands AND TO ADD TO THAT, more than what i preferred, i honestly left it more to Allah to give me whatever He thought was best for me. So like id say peds sounds good, but then I wouldnt like baaaaaadly want it and all like id be fine with either because im praying to Him to take care of it and help me through the entire path! Aha. So I got surgery! And i didnt feel bad even for a second. I mean. Oh surgery? Ok yeah cmon show me what you got!!!!!! :3 haha So yeah cause like now ik ill be starting eith surgery and then later peds. And like i mean just imagine like vacation started end of May and since then until beginning of this week youre completely clueless wth youll start the next year with and all is kinda confusing and then you finally know youll start with surgery. OHHHH! HOW COULD I MISSS THIS OUT. Like SURGERY!!! You GET IT????? Surgerys the REAL DEAL. i mean surgery is my thing. I never joined med school thinking ill be a ‘doctor’! I entered med school thinking ill be a ‘surgeon’ inshaAllah. AND it has never changed! So yeah! Now i never said it i think, but, i chose medicine because IN MY OPINION this is the most realistic way in which you are doing something for humanity which ultimately contributes to your religion i.e. to Allah and therefore for your own self for the Hereafter. I am aware that there are a zillion other ways to do so but i think this is number one on the list. Or if not 1 at least in the top 10! Now it doesnt end there. So first, i chose “medicine” for this reason. Now, yeah it doesnt end there. I want to be ‘involved enough’ in doing the job that i need to use to -use my own hands- to do so!!!! And thats nothing but surgery! Yeah! Thats basically what im about :):):) Aha okay so i started typing and then i keep talking talking talking and now idk what i wna say. Im all over the place looool Okayyy i need to go now! Just one thing i missed oh! Him. There's SO much of emotions stuck in me. SO Strong.. I dont think I have ever felt for him, or can ever feel for him AS MUCH AS I feel for him right now.. ❤
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shiny-craboo-blog · 7 years
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@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...
what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀
WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)
it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.
ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)
so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy
however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.
eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.
the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.
the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit
he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh
the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry
but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao
he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 
and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said
THIS BITCH
said
“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”
so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT
anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????
so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.
bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me
"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."
me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"
me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"
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dubblebubbletea · 5 years
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Sometimes I have tmi to overshare but don't because I have a sense of shame. And then I decide the world would be a better place if the tmi I want to talk about did not have stigma attached.
Anyway, why did my last obgyn laugh at me for being a virgin? What's wrong with my vagina. Wtf
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compunctionjunction · 7 years
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70 horrible questions
I was tagged by the lovely @1of1prism thank u my guy <3
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Maybe better than some people but probably also worse than a lot of people lol. Sometimes I go to people’s houses and I’m like ???what is this “communication”. Also depends on the day and parent. i have an entire tag devoted to my dad lol
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? I dunno probs my mom or one of my friends 
03: Do you regret anything? Lots
04: Are you insecure? "My insecurities have insecurities” tho tbh i’m gettin pretty good. 
05: What is your relationship status? Single and not ready to mingle
06: How do you want to die? in control and ready 2 go
07: What did you last eat? cream of chicken soup... chocolate frozen yogurt... caramel pudding....... I just had my wisdom teeth out.......give me real food......
08: Played any sports? Never, in my life. The audacity.
09: Do you bite your nails? Ahuh! Sometimes!
10: When was your last physical fight? ive never been in a 2-way fight but the most recent 1-sided one was probs in gr 6 when one of my friends (aha) dragged me across the classroom by my hair lol
11: Do you like someone? No :\
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? try 72 hon
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? lol trump (im not changing ur answer sophie cause its accurate lol) also anyone who aligns w him and rn all the conservative MPs for being dicks and a lot more I’m full of hatred rn 
14: Do you miss someone? i miss being able to eat real 
15: Have any pets? my sister has 2 ferrets :\ but she moved out so no
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? my face hurts
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? made out a cheque to my haters (just kidding i have no money and no haters i just was trying to be funny. im sorry. i need humour right now.)
18: Are you scared of spiders? i mean i think it depends on how dark it is and how big the spider is tbh 
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i dunno i’ll need an informed consent form
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? :\ 
21: What are your plans for this weekend? first i gotta recover and then i gotta finish like 5 papers and hang with people and have a sleepover and hang with more ppl and watch a bunch of tv
22: Do you want to have kids? How many? I want to give birth to 0 kids tho I am still undecided on adoption etc. I’d probs be a rly good godmother tho like im just sayin. @1of1prism @purewhiteflames​ ;)) 
23: Do you have piercings? How many? no piercings as of yet tho i wanna get my ears pierced i think. but my dad disapproves of anything like that so i’d probs have to wait to either move out or be financially independent lol
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? rn? english, women and gender studies, most things involving research-based papers where i have free reign over the topic 
25: Do you miss anyone from your past? lotsa ppl tbh
26: What are you craving right now? food........that i can eat........ chickenmelts........hamburgers......pizza........pasta......... :’(
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? prob lol but do i care
28: Have you ever been cheated on? we’ve all been cheated on.......by the system.....
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? that would require having one
30: What’s irritating you right now? my goddamn jaw and people eating food I can’t eat in front of me. my parents had mcdonalds yesterday. you know what i had. a milkshake. my sister brought home bacon wrapped scallops. I haven’t had scallops in like 2 years cause they’ve doubled in price and the one time we have scallops let alone frickin bacon wrapped scallops (like what the hell what kinda fancyass lunch) I cant FRICKIN eat it. Oh but I can smell it. I can hear u crunching on these foods. “Mmmmm!” ya shut up.
31: Does somebody love you? Do you know how popular I am? I am soooo popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
32: What is your favourite color? black and hot pink together
33: Do you have trust issues? ...........why are u asking..........what will u do with that info.......
34: Who/what was your last dream about? NO FREAKING JOKE!!!!!! i HAD A FRICKIN DREAM WHERE DANNY DEVITO CAME TO MY HOUSE WITH THIS LADY AND THEY TRIED TO BUY MY HOUSE AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “no..” AND THEY WERE SO MAD AND DANNY DEVITO TRIED TO STEAL THE HOUSE KEYS BUT I CAUGHT HIM JUST IN TIME like what kinda fake tumblr text post but it’s real i really dreamed that. I honestly can’t believe it. I would doubt it myself except I told someone abt it right away when I woke up. so now i will never forget.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and this nurse because I woke up in a cot after being high on laughing gas and some other drug and steroids so not only did I wake up and I didn’t know where I was and no one was there and there was like an hour gap in my consciousness but I was coming off a high LOL
36: Do you give out second chances too easily? definitely not lol I give 2nd chances on rare occasions but as a general rule if u break my trust I won’t trust u in the same way again lol “trust is like a mirror. u can fix it if it’s broke. but u can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection”
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm forgive i guess
38: Is this year the best year of your life? well not politically or in a global sense but in terms of like self-growth and stuff I’m doing pretty well so far I’m doin pretty good. workin hard... having fun.. loving myself.. 
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? i have never in my life sullied my lips with someone else’s bacteria-laden lips
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? n.........o
51: Favourite food? chicken pasta alfredo, chicken pie, chicken vol au vents, chickenmelts, eggs benedict, um, double chocolate fudge tart from dufflet... hmm, Sophie’s dad’s lasagna and also pasta al fuerno or whatever that’s called like yum, uh.. it’s really easy to list these off when i CAN’T HAVE ANY OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also poutine, and I also rly like Subway (ham and cheese on italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, onion, pickles, and mayonaisse, toasted...) 
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? kind of but I tried to explain it to someone once and they were like ??????what ur saying makes no sense and contradicts itself and i was like ya probably lol
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched a bad tv show my parents were watching and drank a giant mcdonalds milkshake and iced my face
54: Is cheating ever okay? honestly who am i to judge ur relationship and forgiveness and stuff but like imo if someone cheats on u they don’t respect u as an equal in that relationship or probably as a human
55: Are you mean? i can be a bit of a dick tbh but most of the time when i say something mean in my head im like “why is my mouth saying//why are my fingers typing these horrible ass things??”
56: How many people have you fist fought? well ive never used my fists on anyone but 2 people have punched me in the stomach does that count lol
57: Do you believe in true love? at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck, you’re an asshole, but i love you... so much i think it must be true love, true love. it must be tru-e love, no one else could break my heart like yo-o-o-o-o-o. yo-o-o-o-oh, oh-o-o-oh (No)
58: Favourite weather? either when its foggy and tranquil or when its like 23-25 degrees and sunny but also there’s some clouds so it’s not like direct hot sun on u but it’s still warm enough to wear shorts
59: Do you like the snow? i like when it’s snowing and quiet and peaceful and i like lying down in the snow and having that feeling of hearing everything kind of muted? but ya i hate slush and ice and stuff 
60: Do you wanna get married? not really but i might for tax benefits LOL
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, get that shit away from me
62: What makes you happy? lots of things especially seeing other people happy and genuine
63: Would you change your name? Maybe tbh it’s something i’m thinking abt right now cause I’m not a super fan of my name but maybe not officially and I also don’t wanna start shit with my fam I think my mom would be upset lol 
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ya cause they don’t exist lol
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well thats nice cause I like him too but what’s with this “opposite sex” bs like i know what u mean but like 
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? like seriously it’s not a real thing sex and gender are both constructs it’s a spectrum, a range. my buddy. pal. listen. (also ya i like to think anyone in our friend group but like probs john cause I can be scathing with those guys but as if i’d ever be vulnerable around them LOL)
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? like ur gonna keep going with this. ur gonna keep doing this. thats fine. but i can give u some reading. like i have all these pdfs if ur interested. no joke. and if pdfs are unaccessible to u i also have a bunch of youtube links. like hon. (my dad)
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? wow i dont even know if i can tag u back @1of1prism cause if im being honest i think it was @purewhiteflames oops, yikes!!!
69: Do you believe in soulmates? no but i do think there are people that u are much more compatible with than other people
70: Is there anyone you would die for? i dunno we’ll see if/when it happens lol
I’m not gonna put anyone else through this so you can say I tagged u if u wanna do it but like lol
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I’m 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
"I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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I was curious if my dad could get me on his insurance plan (medical)? I can't afford insurance and I'm suffering from tooth pains, psychological illnesses, and need medical attention. I'm supposedly too old (26), but I wanted to know if my father could add me onto his insurance another way? Thanks.""
Car insurance help!!?
ok, im trying to get the cheapest insurance possible. i am 18, i have over a 3.5 in high school, i took drivers ed, and i have never had any problems with the law. oh and if it matters i live in oregon so which car insurance company will be the least expensive?""
Cancelling car insurance?
i recently passed my test, got a car and insurance. i have now found a cheaper car insurance, although i have only been paying for three month, will i be able to cancel the car insurance and go with a cheaper one?""
How does malpratice insurance in Boston compare to the insurance in Dallas? ?
For an obgyn? Just trying to plan my future.
Insurance questions?
Insurance questions? I got into an accident yesterday but my insurance was cancelled because i missed the last Three month's payment. Do u think they will cover the other Guy damaged vehicle? if not would he come after me , or would he be able to sue me?, it was my mistake to cause the accident.?""
Finding Cheap Car Insurance?
I am 17 years old and wanting to find the cheapest car insurance, i want my own insurance policy on a 1.0L Vaxhall Cora, but the problem is it is going to be around 2500 does anybody know any cheaper sites?""
Milage limit for classic car insurance?
I'm thinking about insuring my 79 Buick through Hagerty, they offer guaranteed value coverage and are support to be cheaper then regular insurance, I have not got a quote yet. But I plan on driving the car at LEAST 30,000+ miles a year. So do they have a mileage restriction or are they unlimited, any input from people who have experience is welcome and also maybe another classic car insurance company recommendation. Thanks""
Free health insurance for full time student?
My friend told that me since I am a full time student, I have 15 units, I would be able to qualify for free health insurance until i'm 26 or done with school. Is this true? Thanks""
How much is my health/car insurance going to be?
i am a 18 year old girl in california. ive never gotten a ticket or pulled over and i drive a 2010 ford fusion se(4 cyllinder) with all the safety features it offers. i dont think i have bad credit because all i have is a debit card that is attached to my parents accounts and they deposit money in it when i need it. so if i try to go over my limit it doesnt let me. we have triple a insurance and our bank is wells fargo. i dont know if having a job changes the price but ive had 2 other jobs and am currently employed in a new one. ive never been fired only laid off once because i was a seasonal worker and i quit another for not enough hours. all 3 jobs are retail jobs not making more than 9 dollars an hour. also i am a full time student with 12 units in a community college. My parents have basically perfect credit, both of them. does anyone know how much it will be for both health and car insurance if i start paying?""
How much is it to insure a replica car ?
Im looking to buy a replica lamborghini Aventador but was wondering if the insurance would be to high to handle. I live in Ontario, Canada Thanks""
How long does it take insurance companies to create your insurance?
My father just bought a mercedez sl 500 convertible. Its a 2000. We got it on saturday. Call the insurance to transfer myself onto the car on monday. todays wednesday and still no word. How long will it take for them to rate the car and post me on the insurance?
Which brand of car is cheap to buy and insure for a 19yr old who has just passed?
i live in UK, London. im guessing something small would be cheap like a vauxhall corsa, but are ther any other alternatives because everyone i know who passed has a corsa. i want to be unique...kinda. also what price would i be looking at? anything under 500?""
Would teen car insurance be expensive for a 2007 honda civic hybrid?
I am a new driver with good grades and took drivers ed. Will the year of the car affect my insurance rates? Would another car be cheaper? Would being on my parents policy be less as opposed to having my own?
I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
What is an average estimate for insurance on a 1991 convertible for a 19 year old male?
The car is not red and i'm talking just liability.
Car insurance in Tennessee help please?
A girl I know the tags are in her name but her bf drive's the car he is currently teaching her how to drive she's new to the road..... but my question is can her bf get the car insurance in his name if the car tags n her name
How can these insurance companies like Geico claim to save you money on your car insurance when ?
when they are spending so much on stupid commercials
Where/how can i get kitten care insurance?
please tell me i need to take my 8 week old kitten to the vet (bloomington,IN)""
Does anyone know of affordable medical insurance for unemployed individuals in NY state?
Does anyone know of affordable medical insurance for unemployed individuals in NY state?
What company would provide shipping insurance?
I want to sell some jewellery on Ebay and I will end up shipping it to Canada or US. Canada post offers a maximum insurance of $500. Which (if any) company would provide insurance at replacement value? Or at least a $1,000?""
First time car buyer...getting car insurance.?
i am about to buy my first car and of course i will be getting car insurance. i won't be getting on anyone else's policy. what should i expect when getting insurance? do i have to pay a bunch of money up front?
Cheapest car insurance 17 yr old?
I'm about to take my driving test soon and am looking into buying a black Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 standard, probably around 2001 (new reg plates). I don't have specific number plates but I've been getting ridiculous quotes of 3,000 to 4,000. Does anyone know of any cheap way for 17 year olds to get their OWN policy (not interested in doing illegal fronting stuff)""
How much cost an insurance in massachusetts?
I am not working and I will need an insurance.
Mr vice president my name is michael and i am in indiana. how can i afford health insurance michael?
i tried finding insurance but i can't even afford it. what can i do
Insurance Quote for teenage driver?
Can you give me an estimated insurance rate based on the following - 18years old college student with 2 years foreign driving experience, one week old US drivers license - Never involved in any accidents - Toyota RAV 4 2009 4WD""
Can I be on someone's auto insurance policy if I don't live with them?
I'm 16 and I would have my first car if it wasn't for insurance. I got some quotes and the cheapest one was like 316 a month. Is there any way I can be on my grandparents' policy if they live 60 miles away? I go up there almost every weekend. Also would it be cheaper if I was on their policy versus me having my own? Thanks in advance.
How much will I need to pay a month for car insurance?
I'm an 18 year's old. I'm buyiing my own car soon. How much do you think i'll have to pay for car insurance a month? and what company should i get?
Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK!?
So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 17. But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 5600! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""
Car Insurance Question in NJ?
My husband and I have two cars- both insured with us as the drivers. However, his mother (and sometimes his three brothers) have been using my husband's car while there's is getting fixed. They've had the car going on three months- and I read on progressive.com (our insurance, obviously) that we're responsible to make sure any 'regular' drivers are covered under our insurance. I'm not sure their insurance situation, since the car has been so delayed in getting fixed- they may have canceled it until they get it back. So, I don't actually want to contact the insurance company- because I'm sure they'll do what's best for them, not us. My questions are- are we responsible to cover them under our insurance since they are driving it 'regularly' or since we have the car covered is it okay? What would happen if someone besides me and my husband had a collision in that car- would the insurance be obsolete?""
I'm wondering a car insurance random question?
Hello, my brother has a cheap honda civic like $6 thousand .. He was driving and got in a car accident with a $200,000 dollar car.. The back bumper of the $200k car is wrecked and my brothers car is fine.. He has insurance .. Does the insurance cover everything.? Thanks""
Does anyone know of cheap health insurance in north carolina?
am a father of two and my wife has her and the kids covered under her policy at work. I have not had insurance in over 12 years! I need low cost health insurance and I have heard of plans under $100. I obviously never get sick, and dont mind a high deductible. I really need a low premium and a semi low RX cost and co-pay/ doctor visit (just in case). Any help or suggestions? Thanks!!!""
Is it illegal to not have insurance on a car you don't drive?
It's tagged and everything, just don't see the point in paying for car insurance if it isn't getting driven.""
""New, young, girl drivers. How much are you paying for car insurance? Thinking about looking into NFU?""
I turned 17 last month and I have started my driving lessons. I am looking to buy a car, paying monthly over a 48 month-ish period. I want a car that's around 2500, but as expected, I can't seem to find a reasonable insurance quote anywhere. Just wondering whether anyone's had any joy? Both my parents (who would be on the insurance) haven't got any claims etc, I live in a registered D area according to the insurance area bands, I can keep my mileage below 3000 and keep my car on my driveway. Just wondering whether people gone with NFU, and basically good companies who could do a reasonable quote.""
Insurance Quote on WRX for 19 Year Old?
Hi im just curious if anyone out there could tell me what im probably going to be paying for a 2009 Subaru WRX. Im 19, male, and in my second year of college no tickets only one accident which WASNT my fault. Progressive wants to charge me $466 a MONTH. car would be payed off after 1 month and i live at home with parents HELP ME!""
""Question about being a teen, and car insurance?""
I am 17 now, I am taking my driver's test in about a week. My boyfriend said that when he got his licence he was automatically added to his mom and dad's car insurance. Well I was wondering would it be the same for me. Because (This might be a little confusing (: ) I was adopted by my birth mother's boyfriends mom, and i live with her and her mom. No one in the house has a car, or car insurance, and my birth mother doesn't have any custody of me but she does have car insurance, and my birth father has half custody of me, and he has car insurance. So.... ha ha my question in general is, when get my license, will I be added to any ones insurance? Or will I have to get my own? Ha ha ALSO, If I do have to get my own what would be the best and cheapest insurance for me? I wouldn't want full coverage, I would just get P.I.P. Please and thank you so much!""
Motorcycle insurance?
I live in the city of toronto but have a cottage up in peterborough. I got an insanely ridiculous expensive quote if i ride in the city, so i was wondering if i can get my insurance policy under my cottage address because i will likely just be driving it up in peterborough throughout the summer.""
Cheap Health Insurance In New York State for single adult?
Is there any good but cheap health insurance in new york state not based on income?
Why are insurance companies such bastards?
I could never figure out why people screw their insurance companies when they can. Well now I know. They are a bunch of ethic-less, principle-less bastards. So go for it, screw them when you can for all you can. You can be assured they will do it to you first wether you are honest or not.""
Car insurance america?
I'm thinking of going to America for six months and want to buy a car to get about, but insurance is expensive could I get a resident of America to put me on there insurance then insure themselves on the car I just bought. Is this possible? If not any suggestions would be amazing thanks I'm from UK and 22""
I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
Whats a cheap major health insurance plan?
im paying way too much right now and need a cheaper plan
What is the best health insurance plan for INternational students who are IN USA?
Hello there ,what is the best health insurance plan for International students who are in USA. If it helps I am currently IN MAryland. Please let me know , would be great if you could provide websites and links as well. Thnaks so much for your assisatnce!""
Car Insurance Question?
I recently had an accident that caused my car to be written off. There have been no problems and I'm now waiting for a cheque from my insurers. My question is this. When the cheque comes and I buy a new car what happens with regard to insurance, will I have to take out a new policy, can I keep the existing policy and add my new car to it, will my monthly payments go up, or none of the above? I'm sure this is very simple for an expert but it confuses the hell out of me.""
Beach Buggy Insurance at 18?
Ok so me and my dad have been working on this unfinished beach buggy project (now almost done maybe a month more). I'am a male student that has just finished my second year of college and have had my licence a little over a year (got my licence at 17 to get it out the way) I have never owned a car/been insured on a car and was wondering what sort of prices it would cost to get insured on a beach buggy at my age, the initial plan was for me to get something like a corsa when im 19 and try get insured on the buggy when im like 21. would anyone even insure a VW beach buggy on an 18 year old without no claims bonus? and if so how much do you think im looking at (if some answers seem reasonable i might call adrian flux to see if i can get a quote""
""Could $5,000 cover the healthcare insurance premium for a family?""
If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the heck out of it? Obviously, it won't have all the bells and whistles, but people would be covered. There is the issue of the tax on the premium, but it still seems like a good idea. This link was interesting - it describes both plans clearly: http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/10/news/economy/tully_healthcare.fortune/""
Insurance for Bentley GTC Continental?
I (sadly) dont have one of my own - yet (im working on it..) Just out of general.Theres another new footballer on the go,hes only 21 & recently purchased a bentley.Approx. for someone in there early 20s how much would insurance cost? (I understand hes a footballer,he earns more a year we all do lol..) Thanx in advance xx""
Does your insurance go up if you get a speeding ticket?
Im 18 but my car and insurance is still under my mom. I dont want her to find out... but will she? Lol. Is there anthing I can do so she wont find out?!? :))
How much is the insurance for a ford mustang?
for a teen girl driver thats 15 with a permit
How long does it take for insurance rates to go up after getting speeding ticket?
how long does it take for your insurance rates to get affected if you get a speeding ticket.. does it apply right away or do i have time to go to traffic school.. and if i go to traffic school will all evidence of there ever been a ticket disappear?
How would you fix health care in the US?
I feel good and bad about this law. I'm conservative. I don't entirely agree with the law. But it's good that people are able to get on an affordable insurance plan if they have a pre-existing condition rather than being left out to die. But what about the people who are getting kicked off insurance plans and now have to pay even higher rates than they already were? I get a subsidy for my plan. I don't feel like I deserve it. I saw a lady on the news who had cancer and couldn't get insurance. I feel like she is the one who deserves a subsidy so she can get a plan. How do you feel about this law? And what happens if a Republican gets into office or they control the legislative branch in 2014 and repeal the law? Then what?
How much does it usually cost to insure a big (600cc and above) motorcycle?
How about a 250cc? Or does it depend on the type of bike I have?
Health insurance for dependent parent?
Am I correct that I cannot add my dependent parent to my health insurance plan at work And my dependent parent who lives in my household and has no income of their own cannot qualify for medicaid because of my income level?When applying for medicaid they ask for the household income not just the applicants income.If this is the case it is a very unfair situation for adult children who support their dependent parent.Whats even stranger is I was told that if I had a gay live in partner they could be added to my health ins policy? BUT not a parent? Is this really true?
RX-8 annual insurance cost?
So I'm 18 and male, just got my license and need to buy a car soon. Set my sights on an 04 RX-8, but I need to know if I could afford the insurance. I have no accident history (obviously) would be primarily commuting about 15 miles a day, and would go LIABILITY ONLY on my parents' plan. GUESTIMATES WOULD BE APPRECIATED AS WELL AS WHAT YOU PAY FOR YOUR RX-8!! Spank you bunches""
""I haven't had car insurance for the last 8 years, am I going to pay high rates?""
I've lived in the city since 2002 and haven't owned a car. I'm now moving out, and will need a car once again. Does this mean I'm going to pay high rates, or it won't matter?""
How can I lower my car insurance if it is high because of bad credit?
I have been told that my car insurance is high because of a bad credit rating. I am currently enrolled in a DMP to pay down some credit cards and I'm sure this is why it is so bad. Will any insurance company work with me to lower my rate? I currently have GEICO insurance bc it was the lowest I could find. I lease my car and always make my car and insurance payments on time.
Will motorcycle insurance be expensive for me I'm 19?
I'm nineteen year old and had my license since April 2011, I have a 93 Nissan 300ZX and it gets 18mpg city so I want a small motorcycle used. I was wondering around how much insurance will be for me if I get one? I have no points on my license I'm clean""
""Closing on a house, need the title insurance?""
So far this home buying process has been hell, and I am ready to close this month rather than next month... But our broker said, to close by the end of July, it depends on when they recieve the title insurance... Everything is done on our end, basically we are just waiting on the sellers to do their part... Could it really take longer than a month to get the title insurance? And, what is title insurance? Thanks in advance""
California Temporary Driver's License?
I'm 20 years old and have a valid UK driver's lisence. As I am now living in California, I was given a 'California Temporary Driver's License'. This expired yesterday but I have my behind the wheel test on Monday (12/7/09). Is this expiration going to be an issue? I did mention it at the DMV office, but the woman just ignored my question as if it was stupid and continued to book my test. Surely it means I am not licensed to drive a vehicle on my test date? Also, the car I will be driving is fully insured by someone I live with, and it is her name that is on the insurance documents. The policy insures anybody with a valid license- can I use this for the test providing it passes all their other requirements referred to on their website? Thank you in advance for any help. I have searched through all DMV related sites but this issue is never addressed.""
Do you have to report a DUI to the car insurance company?
My friend got a DUI not too long ago. This is the state of Florida, and she has Allstate. I understand that her getting a DUI is now public records because she spent the night in jail. Because the fact that it's public records now, is she required to inform her Allstate insurance company about her DUI? Also, what will happen either way whether she reports it to insurance company or not? Will they remove her from her insurance or jack up the rates? It is her FIRST DUI and other than that she has a good driving record. Thanks.""
If i use third party Car insurance do i build up an insurance record?
Hey, i'm looking at buying a first car, however quotes for Comprehensive insurance are up over $2,000, but i want to build up an insurance record. Does using third party cover build me up an insurance record, or do i need comprehensive insurance? cheers""
Im going to be in Wisconsin my friend has a car for me..can i get insurance to cover me there?
Im going to wisconsin for their summer and my friend im staying with has a car i can use for the period im there. im 21 is there a way for me to get covered by insurance for the 4 months im there? Im from New Zealand. Thanks
""IMPORTANT: Young, pregnant, no money! Any advice on how I wil get by?
I am 24 and pretty sure that I am pregnant (will be going to the doctor on monday to verify). I don't make a lot of money and I was wondering how other women have done it. In my head it seems impossible to afford a child. Advice please.
""If I do not have health insurance in Fremont, California, and I want to deliver a baby?""
how do I deliver it with low income, also, if you are going to suggest Tri City, is that good, what are your experiences with that place? I think it is Tri Shitty. Also, what else do you suggest besides Tri City? Please help me I am one month pregnant and need to figure out where to deliver a baby Also, I just wanted to mention if you are pregnant and applying for health insurance do not tell them that you are, they refuse you flat, just tell your doctor the truth about your missed period date at your first appointment, fight with this backwards health insurance country""
Will My Car Insurance Go Up?
My wife scrapped the side of our SUV against the wall coming out of the garage. I would like to get it fixed through our insurance since the damage is more that $500 deductible. Do you think my insurance will go up if I make this insurance claim?
What cars are there that are decent but cheap on insurance for first time drivers? (male)?
i don't care on what the car is as long as its reliable. even if it looks like a shed. i have a motorbike for looks and pleasure with 2 years no claims if that makes a difference i don't know. cheers.
I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
How much was your insurance for your first 125cc motorbike?
So im 19 years old and got my CBT test passed and i am getting a Honda CBF125 brand new for 2400 and it will be locked away in a garage at night i live in a low crime area aswell and im looking for comprehensive insurance and im using price comparison websites and im getting quotes at nearly 800-900. Was anyone else getting quotes this high when they got there first insurance? And where is the best place to get quotes?
Car Insurance for a 16 year old in California?
I am gonna get either a Used 03-04 Nissan 350z and would like to get a rough estimate of how much insurance is gonna cost. Thanks in advance. Also what would happen to my insurance if the car is on a salvage title?
Buying Car Insurance?
Looking to buy a car next week, but i have not owned a car before and have no insurance. Is there something i can do before i go to the dealership that will allow me to drive the car off the lot? Ie. can i somehow buy insurance before buying the car (even if i do not know make or model? (I should also mention that i will want to register the car in CT and purchase in NJ, if that's possible.)""
Are custom orthotics covered by health insurance?
I heard getting a pair is expensive but i need them for running uninjured
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
Does Geico Car insurance cover Rental Cars?
Does Geico car insurance cover rental cars? Or does it JUST cover your car that you have insured w. them?
Car accident without insurance?
So today I rear ended a 2011 Honda Civ, a small strach [sp], some paint missing and a possible dent. My car on the other hand suffered some significant damage. Now as we were preparing to exchange info, I find out my car doesn't have insurance (its my parents and I wasn't informed) and I told her I will pay for damages and apologized, etc. Now I asked how much would it cost, etc. Her insurance company told her I would have to pay $20+ per day for her rental car how ever many days its in the shop. That I can handle. But say worse case scenarios: How much would it cost to replace a back bumper for a 2011 honda civ? Or to fix a dent, color, paint, etc? Has this happened to anyone else without insurance, etc?""
What is the average car insurance for an 18 year old male who is just starting to drive?
I just want to know how much car insurance will cost me i know a lot has to do with the cost such as what type of car and such. I want an estimate because no insurance website has a quote for new drivers.
Can i get insurance just to do a title transfer??
i just sold my truck which i took the insurance like 4 months ago since i didnt drive it, and to get the title signed and notarized so i can sell it i have to have insurance. can i get like temporary insurance just to do that? how much is it?? thanks!""
Do you need insurance for permit in ca?
I am going to get my provisional driver license in california. Do i need to get it before i take the drive test? aM i covered under parents policy? How long do i have to have my insurance before im eligible to get my driver license?
How much would i pay for insurance?
I want to buy an 2010 Nissan Cube, around 14,000 new and im 17, living in Ct. I was wondering how much i would pay for insurance, if its too much what other car should i get, i want to get a new car so can any one help me, my grades aren't too good, i would pay for it my self and i can afford about 150 a month since ill be paying 184 a month for the car with 60 months and 3000 down.""
I need cheapest auto insurance?
I am 17 years old, and i need an auto insurance that costs around $100-150 per month. i cannot afford higher than that.""
Auto Insurance question...?
If my teen neighbor (with a licence)borrowed my car and he/she wrecked it, would my insurance cover it? If so, why do teens that are driving, have a licence, have to be covered on parents insurance if they are driving their parents car? Isn't the car already covered by insurance? Why do I have to pay insurance on my teen and not my neighbor?""
I'm looking for affordable health care insurance plan in Texas?
I'm looking for no more than $5000 deductible around $300 to $400 a month for 1 primary and 2 dependents. And the insurance has to cover some of outpatient and inpatient as my son has asthma. Please any help I can't find anything online.
What is the cost of Home Owner's Insurance?
I'm going to be buying a home and would like to know if anyone knows what the approximate cost would be for HO Insurance? I already have Renter's Insurance, and would like to know if the price difference is dramatic or not. The home is 1902squ. feet, 4 bedroom, built in 2006,I am purchasing the home for just under $100,000, it is worth a lot more than that, as its a foreclosure.""
Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?
Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?
Which is the Best Health Insurance Policy available for Individuals in India?
So far I have learnt that LIC health plus is a pretty good policy. and http://sunilrams.blogspot.com has really given in detail the comparisons . Are there any better policies in the Indian Market for individuals.
The cheapest car insurance for first time drivers?
looking to get my own car soon and trying to my license I am 24 yrs old and just starting to figure stuff out for myself and wanted to know whats the cheapest car insurance
Motorbike insurance help!!!!!!?
hello im wanting to get a Suzuki bandit 600cc and get it restricted to 47bhp and practice on it with a bike instructor then do my test on it but every online insurance compare site i put my details in it don't come up with a single quote any one no whats goin on please lol
Cheapest car insurance company?
im switching car insurance companies. where will i get the cheapest price?
What happens after i complete traffic school for a speeding ticket?
I'm 17. I got a speeding ticket in February, payed it in March, and finished traffic school this month. I went to take my traffic school certificate this week. Does this mean it is cleared? I live in California? I'm wondering because I'm trying to get an insurance rate and it asked if i ever got a ticket.?""
Where do i get health insurance if i am a student in school?
i am a student 22 years old. i need affordable health insurance. i have no job. i think i am going deaf and blind. where can i get insurance in washington state?
Really really cheap drift car with cheap insurance?
I'm soon going to be buying a car to do up with a good mate and his grandad who owns a garage, my friend already owns a car and we've decided that one day we're going to take them out and learn to drift (dw this wont be on the roads). We're going to be doing it often and so it has to be atleast half decent and its going to be my everyday car. So i'm looking for a good drift car to do up for under 500 (obviously going to be breaking and second hand) to do up and drift better than my mates car. Oh and insurance under 2000 would be best considering i'll Only be 17! Thanks alot Bilbo baggins""
How do insurance companies classify sports cars?
I plan on buying a scion tc, but I want to know if state farm considers this a sports car. and if so, how much will more will insurance cost? I am a teenager, so i know it will be high to begin with, but will having a sports car make it much higher?""
How would would car insurance be for a new driver in Rhode Island?
The car i'm getting is a pontiac grand prix, its older like 94 I think. I got my licence a few months ago, but i'm 20 years old. I haven't taken any driving classes or anything like that though. I'm just wondering if anyone knows about how much it would be so I know beforehand.""
I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/business-insurance-quotes-maryland-francis-charlson/"
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lokbobpop · 3 years
Text
Care caring careful carefully
From Middle English care, from Old English caru, ċearu (“care, concern, anxiety, sorrow, grief, trouble”), from Proto-Germanic *karō (“care, sorrow, cry”), from Proto-Indo-European *ǵeh₂r- (“shout, call
watchful or protective attention, caution, concern, prudence, or regard usually towards an action or situation especially : due care a person has a duty to use care in dealing with others, and failure to do so is negligence — R. I. Mehr — see also due care, negligence, standard of care.
Care car e c are caring car ing carful car ful carefully c are full y care fully
Writing the word care caring careful carefully
What do i care about comes up like my daughters my husband come up first then the animals then my plants my possession
Am i very caring comes up like i know people who are far more caring than i can and im actually jealous of them and the way they care and that i for get to car for people im self centered a lot of the time only care about myself and only now trying to change who i am within myself and caring about all things in my environment and the environment itself it’s like ive been asleep for eons of time and we just waiting up to the reality of ourselves and what we are allowing and have aloud to happen to us and our planet.
Being careful all the time not to spend to much money because of my fear of having no money comes up.
To move something carefully as not to break it.
Reading the word care caring careful carefully
Care bear come up strange but true/ care packet that are handed out to people in need/ i want to say i care but then straight away comes up do you do you really care?
People who are caring like wick she cares about things and people she sees things i miss in caring for someone i think i need to be more caring and understanding of people animals and the environment im a bit oblivious a lot of the time i feel i want to be more of a caring person/ caring for someone like elderly like what leilani is doing now i just dont think i could d this as peoples emotions affect me so if someone is pissed off i feed of that and want to get away in writing this i see i avoid people who are highly emotional because they bring me down like yesterday with charlie it was getting me down i was to scared to offer solutions because i found her to angry and all i wanted to do was to go home while she just unraveled on my all her thought feelings and emotions and this made me feel like i need to get out of here.
Careful being careful not to get pregnant comes up when being a teenager scared of what might happen if i did get pregnant and when i did i had to have an abortion that made me feel guilty for the rest of my life and i now see ive carried blame to the father for not being good enough. Having to be careful with money especially in the past when there wasn’t the money we have now and always trying to get more money to make things easier/ thought of i have to be careful all the time not to upset people to do the right thing it’s like ive been living the word carful all my life carful not to lose money friend by not sayin the wrong thing carful to keep an eye on the dogs and there health careful driving and fear of the girls not being carful when they drive and and an accident happening and the fear that comes up within me as being a bad mother if something happened to them because I wasn’t there or that I didn’t teach them properly and that i want then to be careful around stranger maybe this comes up with London trying of being told to be careful with stranger and other dimensions of this sort of fear/ fear within the word careful like something bad is just about to happen and i have to be care to break it ruin it damage it kill it and that all these thing have happened to me so now i need to be fearful when being carful.
Carefully doing something as in not to break it comes up again/seeing myself as clumsy useless not good enough./ collecting eggs so’s not to break them
Saying the words care caring careful carefully
Care home comes up and the one my great grandmother was in was horrible i thought and all these old scary in a big room and you had to walk round them all and say hello and one women who sat in a big chair dressed like she was getting married in a big gown frighten me as she was very much an extrovert within the room my great gran was directly behind the door like hidden when you walked in./ do i care enough comes up looking at all my procrastination ive done all my privilege life of doing nothing especially the last few years of no work and just spending all day on the net facebook taobao./i wan to care about everything an do my best as i can to care for everything on this planet.
Careful to be careful of the wrong people of like baddies as i would day them not being safe and falling into the hands of people who might try to kill me or harm me come up we need to be carful like when I’m oversea and i a country i feel i need to be care in like Thailand when i first got there i saw everyone as a villain out to get my money which wasn’t true for all but I was scared there at first and how ive felt this many times in my like when traveling you have to be carful of the wrong people./like telling the girls when they were young to be care as they did some so they would fall or hurt themselves.
When one of the girl when walking around with a glass of water and i dont want it spilt/im not very careful when saying this word i see that i do everything in a hurry im rarely carful im like a bull in a china shop that dont care just a bodge job sort of thing.
Sf
Does this definition support me no its all over the place with fear hey fear for the girls for for myself fear of strangers and travel and if my daughters were to ever to travel i see id need to keep im shit together hey also blame of not being caring or carful myself comes up lots here to consider with polarity as well.
Care car me
Caring care ring
Careful care for all
Carefully care for thee
How will you live these words ? I will live these word with with self love care for me myself until im well until im free and in doing this it will care for all to spread how i cared for myself and i will I know how to care for others when I know how i should care for self with living words of self love self honesty self respect self awareness x
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baekhoneyed · 7 years
Text
tagged by @kokokysoo for one of those “get to know me” memes! (under the cut cuz its so long)
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (idk how many people ill end up tagging and dont feel obligated!!)
THE LAST:
1. Drink: water but like i think my flatmates put vodka in the ice cube trays so?? not sure exactly how much is accidentally Not Water
2. Phone Call: uhhhhh a study abroad program advisor
3. Text Message: my older brother tryna convince me that i’ll make friends eventually lmao
4. Song you listened to: i actually stopped writing this to grab a sweater but then TT came on and i instinctively dance to it now so that happened
5. Time you cried: almost last night but like... not enough feelings to actually cry yet just wait
6. Dated someone twice: never even dated someone once, bro...
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i never regret giving my dog kisses but sometimes my cat swipes at me :/
8. Been cheated on: gotta have a boyfriend first to get cheated on
9. Lost someone special: yup
10. Been depressed: only since i was 12 years old  l m f a o
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i hate puking so i never go past being tipsy
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12. red!
13. millennial pink fight me
14. rose gold fight me again
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yyyes but i sure would like to make some more Here, at my Current University
16. Fallen out of love: mmm not Love but definitely Like? i stopped Liking someone who i had a crush on
17. Laughed until you cried: so frequently it’s worrisome
18. Found out someone was talking about you: um did u mean middle and high school? i was such a petty bitch tho i put em in their places after crying in my room alone lmfao
19. Met someone who changed you: yes yes yes! dallon is the first who comes to mind he’s... no words
20. Found out who your friends are: ummm i dont know?
21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: ...my mom??? lmao
GENERAL:
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them except a few who ive just added bc we’re all transfer students to the same university this year and im Desperate
23. Do you have any pets: yes!! 2 cats, Harry and Kai (shut up ok i’ve always liked that syllable in chinese) and one dog, Lady my perfect cuddle angel baby
24. Do you want to change your name: honestly... sometimes yeah? but only because it’s so boring when it’s translated into chinese/korean so maybe i’d just change my names in those languages idk
25. What did you do for your last birthday: probably just went out to dinner w/ my family, but when i got back to my old college my friends and i went to a store in Queens it was such a good day...
26. What time did you wake up: like... noon probably lmao #depression
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: rewatching exo next door and gettin emotional over ksoo
28. Name something you can not wait for: THE POWER OF MUSIC BITCH LESS THAN 12 HOURS NOW
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple weeks ago when she and my dad helped me move in to my apartment
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt have fucking depression! anxiety is easy to deal with for me but depression isnt
31. What are you listening to right now: walk on memories
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have a 2nd cousin named Tom he’s like 50 years old
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ......so much
34. Most visited website: netflix/facebook/tumblr
35. Mole/s: one on my back, one on my neck, one under my left boob... i think that’s it
36. Mark/s: mostly bruises on my shins bc im clumsy; also some shaving scars from like 3+ years ago (one of em bled for 4 days while i was in china!)
37. Childhood dream: typical american kid stuff like ballerina and movie star
38. Hair color: medium brown i guess? it used to be lighter but it’s been getting darker as i get older
39. Long or short hair: i just cut it short again so it’s just touching my shoulders when dry (it’s wavy-curly so it’s a bit longer than that in reality)
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah can i have uhhhhhhhh byun baekhyun? no one irl tho
41. What do you like about yourself: ive got a great complexion that has really calmed down in the past few years! and i love my eyes ive got gorgeous eyes and a nice smile and a cute body and ive been doin self-love the past year can u tell?
42. Piercings: just regular ear piercings that i only got... a year ago...
43. Blood type: i never remember but maybe O? whichever one is the most common i think idk tho
44. Nickname: lulu is a nickname, ummm ive had a few friends call me em or ems which is cute
45. Relationship status: chronically single and repulsive to the male population, perhaps?
46. Zodiac: sun in pisces/leo rising (fun fact when i was little a kid asked me my sign so i said pisces and he called me fish poop so i cried) (he was probably a gemini the fuckin asshole), year of the tiger
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite tv show: pushing daisies, 30 rock, scrubs, grey’s anatomy but only up til the 8th season then it’s bad
49. Tattoos: i actually almost got one a few weeks ago but then i lost my job :/ i wanted to get “je ne regrette rien” tattooed on my hip bone real small
50. Right or left handed: right - i used to be able to write pretty well with my left hand but alas...
51. Surgery: yyyup wisdom teeth removal, eyelid surgery to get rid of some bumpy things, broken arm when i was like 1.5 years old, and im getting lasik next summer probably
52. Piercing: ya already asked ya doofus
53. Sport: my dad made me play basketball in middle school i got 2 technical fouls bc i had anger issues so i stopped playing basketball. i got Decent at ballet tho!
54. Vacation: we havent really had the money lately
55. Pair of trainers: i just bought 2 new pairs bc i ruined my only pair in seoul and had to throw them out (they got soaked in the rain and then mildewed n all) (side note: they’re so expensive?? the adidas and nike were as expensive as the new balance which is Silly so i just bought adidas and nike)
MORE GENERAL:
56. Eating: nothing rn but i need to go get dinner...
57. Drinking: did we not already go over this
58. I’m about to go: either to the dining hall or to a nearby restaurant im honestly not sure 
59. Waiting for: exo to move in next door to me only to discover that one of them is my childhood best friend-slash-first love and another has fallen in love with me and my clumsy but lovable personality :)
60. Want: byun baekhyun (im kidding kind of, um i want to make friends here and be less anxious about my classes and life in general)
61. Get married: yeah one day but so far no one i’ve met is Vibing with that seeing as no one will even ask me out im not Super Hopeful :/
62. Career: chinese major/korean minor at a university um hopefully after i graduate someone will hire me and give me money to do something i dont completely hate but we’ll see
WHICH IS BETTER:
63. Hugs or kisses: i literally would not know so i will say Hugs because they’re the only things ive experienced! and i could use a really long hug rn
64. Lips or eyes: ...eyes... but lips r important too cuz i cant even look at a photo of amy schumer anymore w/out staring at her terrifying lips
65. Shorter or taller: taller but someone around my height would be ok too (.....im just sayin im like the same height as bbh...)
66. Older or younger: older bc im not about to go dating a freshman or a high schooler lmfao
67. Nice arms or nice stomach: arrrrrrrrms
68. Hookup or relationship: never had either but i think i’d prefer a stable relationship to some extent?? we just dont know
69. Troublemaker or hesitant: im a troublemaker when im comfortable w/ people/places but other than that hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
70. Kissed a stranger: no
71. Drank hard liquor: yeah it’s nasty :/ but it does the trick
72. Lost glasses/contact lenses: somehow no
73. Turned someone down: ya this one guy hit on me when i was walking thru myeongdong but he was a) a stranger b) 25 years old c) from egypt so like it was never gonna happen buddy
74: Sex on the first date: gonna need a first date before i can even answer (the answer would be no i am not down w/ that) 
75. Broken someone’s heart: probably not, ill dont think im capable of doing that plus im still so young that realistically it just hasnt been a possibility
76. Had your heart broken: not really, my silly crushes have all been resolved easily bc i never talk about them and then i notice things i dont like about the person and stop liking them like that
77. Been arrested: no but a friend of mine got arrested for trespassing on a roof in nyc last year lmao
78: Cried when someone died: yeah
79. Fallen for a friend: sort of? briefly? it never went anywhere it was silly
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
80. Yourself: i try to most days but it’s rough
81: Miracles: i mean im not a non-believer but i also don’t actively wait for them to happen or really put much stock in them
82. Love at first sight: im not sure because bbh hasnt seen me yet so how would we know??
83. Santa Claus: not anymore i think when i was 8 i sorta stopped
84. Kiss on the first date: never even had a first date or a first kiss ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
85. Angels: um yeah actually! proof they exist - byun baekhyun do kyungsoo kim jongdae kim jongin the list goes on,,
OTHER:
90. Current best friends: dallon, lilli, ida, stephanie, aria!
91: Eye color: light green. i have Gorgeous eyes!!!
92: Favorite movie: a taiwanese movie called Secret, i rly liked ksoo’s movie Hyung, Chicago the Musical... there are more but im drawing a blank
i guess ill tag... no one but if ur reading this and u wanna do it feel free to say i tagged u! i love learning about u guys it makes me feel less alone
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lokbobpop · 3 years
Text
Common
From Middle English comun, from Anglo-Norman comun, from Old French comun (rare in the Gallo-Romance languages, but reinforced as a Carolingian calque of Proto-West Germanic *gemeini, gamaini (“common”) in Old French), from Latin commūnis (“common, public, general”), from Proto-Indo-European *ḱom-moy-ni- (“held in ...
belonging equally to, or shared alike by, two or more or all in question: common property;common interests. pertaining or belonging equally to an entire community, nation, or culture; public: a common language or history;a common water-supply system
Common come on com mon
Writing the word common
I think of rodborough common where i grew up it is a very large area of land that you are aloud to walk on and ice cream shopped which i loved so much rodborough fort to walk round and my place of work the bear of rodborough the common is a great place in the summer.
Reading the word common
Not wanting to be anything like common i see it stems from my mum not wanting to be common like other or buy anything common it was a desire to be different and stand out from others and i took this on board completely i so didnt want to be common i wanted to be special when it came to boys and i found they liked me i was like i just wanted to expand on that and didnt want it to ever end but as soon as i got bad it just went away and i was gutted and have spent most of my like trying to lose weight and be the person i was when all the boys liked me and only see my =self as fat and old not and unloved common nothing special WHY because dont like me for the last 30 years why because i got fat and now im old why? Because i am why because just look at me why? I ok people i see have to see who you are on the inside and the ones that like the inside are the ones you actually want and should be with for sure so then looks and not wanting to be come common dont mean anything Beauty is within and without.
When i buy clothes im starting again not wanting what everyone else has so i stand out i see im wanti got be noticed but this time for something different not my looks but i want them to see my personally because I believe my looks have gone and this is the only way for someone to be interested in me im looking for attention from outside of myself when i should be giving all my attention to myself in who i am in any given moment
Sayin common out loud
I hear my mums voice of no there common like council house people dont be going round with them and buying something saying of there common as muck she would say and then thinking i dont want anything to do with common at all i want need and desire to be different
The common people lyric in a old for live aid where a group of singers got together to make a difference
Rodborough common comes up again
Seeing common people having no interest or drive i there life and maybe it wasn’t a bad think not wanting to be like others because i got out and travelled the world i just didnt want to be like others so it wasn’t a bad thing as long as now i dont see myself as better than other it ok.
Sf
Does this definition support me no fear of being like everyone else and not wanting to be like everyone else wanting to be special so id be wanted by others and i could flirt and attract and get the best catch of men for me but seeing this only happen for a short few years and only ever wanting my first love since then and feeling rejected as he didnt want me back after we split and i went into blame and anger towards him for not wanting him and not seeing realizing and understanding that I hadn’t wanted him for many years i just wanted revenge for what i felt he did to me which was to make me feel worthless but all the time it was myself to believe I was worthless and that he has never been unfriendly towards me but still holding on to slight desire of being wanted why? Because if he wants me ive sort of won its like a challenge why becasue i want to win i want to best why because i dont like being below others i want to be the winner sinner lol as it were why so i can feel better about myself why?because I haven’t liked who i am so far why because ive not achieved anything not become anything and have obtained anything why? Because I believe im not good enough why because from school I wasn’t so when i was and lost it with men ive been looking fir what i can do to get it back why? Because ive liked the way it feels why i feel special why because I have another’s attention an dit feels good why because i feel special why yes i see i should first think im special and not try and get someone else to make me feel special knowing im special in the first place and i dont need it from outside myself but i see im still lingering in the other. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting past love anger revenge with a first boyfriend to still be present within me now that i want revenge more than i do anything else because i made the mistake of leaving it was my choice id had enough it was boring i was left alone for weeks unhappy and if i didnt get out then it would of been later for sure.
Common come on
Common
Regular lots of stable as one and all
How will you live this word ? I will live this word with embracing my common me that i see we are all equal and if others are equal to me that ive seen as common then im common to and to see this about myself and others i can stand with them within me for sure. With living words of oneness equality togetherness
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