#ive avoided becoming one for so long lol
Text
Pretty sure my polycule is turning me into a furry.
Not sure how I should feel about this.
#winter speaks#polyamory#im fine with it tbh#its just interesting#ive avoided becoming one for so long lol
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi lovey 🫶 i was thinking about another lo’ak idea for a request and this is what i came up with! so as we know, the sully family had to learn sign language while living with the metkayina clan.. so i was thinking the reader would be metkayina and would take it upon themself to help teach them (at this time the sully’s know certain phrases) and lo’ak is drawn to the reader and asks for private lessons but in actuality he’s pretty good with signing so the reader is like “ur already pretty good but ig so 🤷” and in that lesson lo’ak kind of makes his feelings clear and asks to learn how to say something like “you’re ethereal” and once he learns, he signs it to the reader? idk i just love how you write lo’ak so i just thought of anything really 🤭
🦕
Teach Me
Tags: Lo'ak x Metkayina!Reader, Oneshot, Fem!Reader, Fluff, Private Tutor, Crush Blush, They’re Both Oblivious, Shy Reader
Warnings: None
You caught the eye of Jake Sully’s second son, and he has made it a point to try and woo you. When you try and teach his family the way your clan communicates underwater, he asks for private lessons, knowing full well he has already excelled in sign language far beyond his siblings. A few more lessons couldn’t hurt, right?
Your requests are always such a delight to see :) Lo’ak tryna finesse the reader into private tutoring sessions just to spend time with them is such a Lo’ak thing to do lol ALSO YOU’LL NOTICE THAT IVE TAKEN A LIKING TO ADDING A BONUS TO THESE
* ˚ ✦ 1453 Words • Read below the cut
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [05/01/23] ❞
Ever since the Sully family arrived at your doorstep seeking asylum, your father, Tonowari, had entrusted you with teaching the children your ways so that they were not entirely useless.
You did not appear to mind. When you locked eyes with Toruk Makto's youngest son, he captivated you. He was considerably different from your people, with golden eyes, darker skin, and even being a half dream walker! It was alluring, even if your brother didn't find Lo'ak's unique traits as attractive as you did.
You brushed your burgeoning feelings aside so you could do an excellent job of showing him your ways of life. Tsireya, your sister, had previously taught the Sullys about breathing techniques and diving, but you still stepped in whenever you could. You would've been more involved in the lessons if you weren't so timid around Lo'ak.
He figured you didn't like him as much as he liked you, which stung a little. However, that did not deter him. No, he was determined to get your love! (Little did he know.)
During one of your lessons with Tsireya and the Sullys, you were discussing how you employed sign language to communicate underwater. Of course, you were as far away from Lo'ak as possible to avoid becoming a blundering fool.
The Sullys certainly understood a few basic phrases, but you thought it would be incredibly beneficial in the long run if they knew it fluently because it could save their lives one day. You never know what sea creature you'll have to converse with!
By the end of the lesson, you were eager to get out of the water and rush home so you wouldn't have to interact with Lo'ak; you couldn't stop stuttering whenever you were near him! Eywa, on the other hand, had other plans for you.
Lo'ak softly tapped on your shoulder before you could depart, and you could already feel the tips of your ears burn from the contact. Lo'ak didn't notice, but that didn't matter because he was plotting something. One that he believed was brilliant.
He smiled at you. God, his smile was lethal. “Can I get more lessons with you? I need to work on my sign language a bit more.”
He scratched the nape of his neck shyly, clearly hoping for you to say yes.
You sighed, unable to say no when it’s him. “Okay, sure. We can do some private lessons aside from the main ones.”
Lo'ak cheered inside his head. What you didn't know was that he was already pretty proficient in sign language, and that his request for additional lessons was only a pretext to spend more time with you. Others called that manipulation, he called it chasing his dreams.
...
It was difficult for you to concentrate on teaching him at first. He was so attentive to everything you said that it made you feel so self-conscious! You'd take notice to the way he looked with his hair down, or how mesmerizing his eyes were every time you tried to teach him new terms. You could lose yourself in them for hours.
Snap out of it!
You'd think he was aware of the influence he had on you, because every time you'd lose concentration from gazing at him, he'd simply smile. Maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you, but you swore his cheeks reddened when you stared at him. What was he blushing about? He's the one who makes direct eye contact with you every time you speak!
...
You felt foolish. You were foolish.
After a few days, you realised Lo'ak had duped you into thinking he needed the extra support. In your opinion, his acting skills when feigning to not understand what a phrase meant were atrocious. When you confronted him with the fact that he was already pretty fluent, he sulked.
“I’m still not sure if I’m doing it right, though. Just a few more lessons, pleaase?”
He was going to be the death of you. “You’re already pretty good, but I guess it won’t hurt to help build your confidence more.”
Lo’ak grinned, but you could feel your palms getting sweaty at even the mere thought of having prolonged interactions with him.
...
Here you were, sitting on the beach with Lo’ak as he manipulated you into weeks worth of lessons with his stupidly gorgeous puppy dog eyes. Again.
You improved your interactions with him, this time concealing the effect he had on you. You shook your head, ignoring those wandering thoughts and concentrated on his lesson.
“Okay, show me something you’ve learned.”
Lo’ak beamed, and signed with his hands, “Y/N, I want you.”
Okay, you lied. You certainly did not grasp the capacity to conceal his effect on you. He had this smug look on his face once you registered what he had signed, while you fanned your heated cheeks, claiming it was simply the weather. You concluded he was having difficulty asking for something since 'I want you' sounded a little broken.
Yeah, that’s all there is to it.
You laughed nervously. “You definitely still need to work on your sign language. You didn’t even finish your phrase!”
Lo'ak grumbled. From your perspective , it appeared that he did so because he did not accurately sign what he meant to express. But really, Lo'ak was particularly annoyed because you didn't pick up on his blatant hint.
He recollected himself. “Okay, how about this. How do I say you’re ethereal?”
Compliments. That’s a new one. Nonetheless, you showed him how to sign it.
“You’re ethereal is a little bit hard though, so you’d need a bit of practice with the hand movements for that.”
Lo’ak nodded, very focused on the motions of your fingers.
...
You were disappointed to realise that this was your final private lesson with Lo'ak. You were standing near his marui, too indolent to enter the water. Lo'ak had finally mastered sign language, and you were overjoyed to know you were the reason for it. You requested him to show you some phrases right before you concluded your lesson to ensure he sounded like a true Metkayina.
“Okay. What’s something you’re confident you can say?”
Lo’ak was incredibly anxious. With shaky hands, he signed, “you’re ethereal, and I want you to be mine.”
If Eywa could read your thoughts, you wished she’d take a shovel and beat you six feet beneath the sand. Your cheeks were impossibly dark, and you knew what Lo’ak signed couldn’t have been a mistake. Not with those difficult hand movements.
Curse you for being so stupid. You chastised yourself in your mind for honestly thinking his sign language was broken weeks prior. His skills were perfect, you were just too oblivious to realize that he was saying that he wanted you!
Lo'ak sat there patiently, gazing at your immobilised form. His self-assurance was eroding as you sat there, unresponsive. You coughed sheepishly, your cheeks still blazing, before he could retract his statement.
“You’re ethereal too.”
He felt his entire body heat up. He was not expecting you to sign it back, and now you were both sitting there like startled morons, looking like you had been baking in the heat for hours. You were neither smooth nor subtle in your flirting.
“So you don’t hate me?”
That shook you out of your daze. “What?”
“It’s just that, before these lessons you avoided me all the time. I thought you didn’t like me back.”
Your jaw was on the floor. All shyness disappearing, you practically bellowing across the beach. “Since when? I’ve liked you for weeks!”
“Oh.”
Ensue silence.
Lo'ak had to conceal his visage due to the blush on his cheeks. He could try to hide his face from you, but he couldn't prevent his tail from swishing excitedly. You giggled at his reaction, but the embarrassment of how direct you were hit you a moment later.
You two exchanged glances before laughing at each other's expressions. Lo'ak inched closer to you, intending to plant a soft kiss against your heated cheeks.
You immediately swiveled your head to see what he was doing, and he kissed you on the lips by accident. Lo'ak felt like he was going to burst into flames, not intending to do that.
It was now your turn to bury your face in your palms, your heart practically bursting out of your chest. You couldn't believe what had just transpired!
Ah, young love.
Bonus!
“No. Fucking. Way.”
Jake screamed for his wife to come over. Neytiri ran quickly, abandoning her unfinished basket. Something terrible must’ve happened!
“What’s wrong?”
Jake wiped a tear away, dropping his binoculars. “Our son has finally become a man.”
Neytiri threw her basket at his head.
#↳˳💿;; ❝ inbox ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗:#↳˳🖤;; ❝ oneshot ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗:#↳˳.♡;; ❝ dinosaur anon ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗:#avatar#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#avatar 2 the way of water#lo'ak imagine#lo'ak fanfiction#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak#lo'ak sully#lo'ak sully x you#lo'ak x you#lo'ak sully x reader#fluff#like always lol#metkayina#metkayina clan#metkayina reader#private tutor#oneshot avatar#oneshot avatar 2#oneshot#oblivious idiots#shy reader#female reader
718 notes
·
View notes
Text
everything happens for a reason part 20 - zuko x fem!reader
Guess it's true, I'm never getting over you
part 19 | masterlist | part 21
a/n: holy shit guys. we're finally here. the title chapter, the part that officially puts us over the 100k mark, the turning point, the end of the constant mf angst that i've put you all through. that's right. it's finally time for yn and zuko's life changing field trip. ive had this idea down for so long and i can't believe we're actually here lol. buckle up because she's a very long and very emotional one. i hope you enjoy.
wc: 14.3k I KNOW IM SORRY
warning(s): a lot of angst, fighting, violence (including minor character death), a whole lot of emotions, but the fluffy reconciliation you've all been waiting for<3
chapter title comes from everything happens for a reason (!!!!!!) by madison beer
Y/N felt betrayed.
It wasn’t a secret how she felt about Zuko. She avoided him at every possible moment, making herself scarce whenever he walked into a room or completely ignoring him in group conversation—it was the closest she could get to the civility required now that he was Aang’s firebending teacher, and even that was difficult.
Not because she didn’t want anything to do with Zuko—no, it was becoming the opposite, and it scared her more than anything.
She found herself thinking of him more often than not. And not of the North, or their meetings along their journey, not the catacombs—she found herself recalling the more pleasant memories.
The time they spent together whenever they could when she was still a servant and he was still a prince. The sunset they shared together the night before her life was turned upside down. Those afternoons when she would visit him in the tea shop, talking like they used to, smiling like they used to.
Remembering him for who he was rather than who he had become was dangerous. It was how she got her heart broken in the first place, how she went through some of the worst months of her life.
He couldn’t hurt her again if she didn’t give him the chance to. So she wouldn’t.
But it was getting harder and harder to avoid him, because one by one, her friends forgave him.
First, she’d heard, was Toph. She didn’t have any kind of grudge against him, and she was able to make up for him burning her feet tenfold now that he was part of the team.
Next was Aang. He was already far too forgiving, the amount of grace inside of him more than Y/N could even hope to muster. They proved themselves in front of the last dragons together, and apparently that was enough for Aang to trust him.
It took Sokka a bit longer, but after what they pulled off at the Boiling Rock together, he didn’t seem to have a hard time getting along with Zuko. The fact that he helped save Y/N and Suki probably didn’t hurt his chances either.
Zuko had burned down Suki’s village, but Y/N still remembered what she told him in the courtyard—”if you can get me out of here, you’re forgiven. Kyoshi’s fans, I’ll be your best friend.” They weren’t exactly that close, but they worked together, and that was enough.
Katara, it seemed, was the only one who still shared Y/N’s scorned feelings. They held onto each other like a lifeline, feeding off of the other in their hatred. It might not have been the healthiest option, but they refused to forgive Zuko. They stewed in their hurt, and it felt good. It felt good to have a target for their bitterness rather than the abstract ideal of betrayal, and Zuko worked just fine.
After they had fought against Azula, the night they settled on a random Fire Nation island, the two of them sat together on the outskirts of camp. They were meant to be keeping watch together, but instead they made quiet conversation.
“So,” Katara said, “today was… something.”
“That’s one way to say it,” Y/N said wryly. “Since joining you guys, I’ve had enough action for a lifetime. I can’t wait for all this to be over.”
Katara smiled, but it was wistful. “Neither can I. This has all gone on for so long—all I want is peace.”
A memory flashed through her mind—frantic screams, desperate pleading, flames devouring centuries of life—and Y/N swallowed thickly as she tried to push it away. The closer the day came, the more the memories would appear. It happened every year, but this time it was worse.
“Me too,” she murmured. “More than anything.”
Katara looked at her for a moment, her gaze softening before she finally spoke. “Are you okay? I… I know today wasn’t easy.”
Y/N managed a thin smile, but it wasn’t convincing. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You know I can’t do that,” Katara said dryly. “We look out for each other—we always have, even from the first day we met. But it’s like you’re trying to make it as hard as possible for me to care about you.”
“One of my many skills,” she said sarcastically, but Katara didn’t laugh. Y/N sighed in response, long and deep, and allowed her gaze to drift into the murky distance. At nighttime, the water and the sky became one. It was calming. “I just…” she shook her head, “I don’t know what to do.”
“With Zuko,” she guessed.
“With everything,” Y/N said, but then she sighed again. “...Zuko included.”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Katara said quietly. “Not after everything he’s put you through.”
“I keep telling myself that,” she murmured. “But there’s something inside of me that I can’t get rid of.” She looked at Katara, the beginnings of tears glimmering in her eyes. “There— there’s this hope that I can’t get rid of, that things could be the way they used to be again. And— and last time I felt that way was in Ba Sing Se, and I know where that got me, so—”
Katara stayed silent, only taking her hand to acknowledge her while allowing her to continue. It was a lifeline to her, one sorely needed, and she let out a shaky breath.
“So why do I still feel that way?” she asked, almost desperately. “How have they all forgiven him so easily? They know what he did— spirits, Aang died because of him— but they’re all able to sit around and joke with him like nothing happened.”
“They didn’t trust him the way we did,” Katara said with a quiet anger. “They didn’t trust him the way we did, so it didn’t hurt them the way it hurt us.”
“I don’t want to forgive him,” Y/N said weakly. “But the thought of losing him hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much?”
“I don’t know,” Katara murmured. “I… I don’t know.”
Y/N flinched as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell to the ground below, and she instinctively wiped it away. She couldn’t show weakness.
She grimaced at the thought. How long would that wretched place stay with her?
“I’ll give you some time.” Katara’s expression was pained as she squeezed her hand. She didn’t want to leave her alone, but Y/N was thankful for it. Right now she just needed to feel miserable by herself, without bringing Katara down with her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Katara nodded as she stood up. “You can sleep in my tent tonight. Or if you decide you want to talk, come bother me. I promise it’ll be okay.”
Y/N nodded, the action a bit numb, and she could feel Katara’s eyes on her as she lingered. But eventually she mustered the strength to leave, and Y/N was left with her thoughts.
She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as she stared up at the sky. She tried to find the constellation her father taught her when she was a mere child—the tiger seal.
It was a jumble of stars that didn’t even remotely resemble the animal, but she remembered late nights spent stargazing on the ground outside their house, giggling endlessly as her father would point out various other constellations that he made up on his own. It would last until her mother would come out and tell them it was far past your bedtime, young lady, but she would never hide her smile as they ambled back inside.
The memory made a smile of her own emerge, but she soon realized she was fully in tears. They slid down her cheeks, falling onto the dirt and stones jutting out of the cliffside.
She couldn’t stop thinking of Zuko. She couldn’t stop thinking of her father. She felt so deeply broken in a way that she had no idea how to fix, in a way that was threatening to consume her.
She had her life back. Everything should have been back to normal.
But instead, she felt more lost than ever.
-
Y/N ended up taking Katara’s offer of sleeping in her tent, and she was glad she did. The familiarity of it all made her heart ache, but she was thankful for it. Thankful that she had friends like these who wouldn’t let her push them away, no matter how much her newly wired instincts told her it was the right thing to do.
She was visited by her childhood in her dreams yet again. She saw her father and her mother, walking hand in hand with smiles on their faces as they trailed behind a young Y/N skipping through the village paths.
She saw her child self running, screaming and laughing in equal parts as she was chased by the boy marked as the tagger, only to stagger backwards after running into one of the adults. But she was greeted by the smiling face of her father. The boy tapped her on the shoulder and ran off laughing, but her father knelt down to her level and looked at her completely seriously.
“I guess that means we’re the taggers now, huh?” And with that, the two of them ran around the village tagging everyone they could with the seriously unfair advantage.
She saw the moment after she’d learned how to waterbend, sprinting through the whole village to find her father, drag him to the lake, and show him her new skill. Gan held all the stars in his eyes as he watched her bend, and even though it was the simplest thing she could’ve done he praised her to no end.
The absence of scars, the smoothness of her skin, a bright smile that shone through her—she was unmarked by the world then. Hopeful, content, naive.
When she woke up with still-wet tear tracks on her cheeks, it wasn't a surprise. She woke up like this more often than not.
One week. Seven days. And then she would go to face something she wasn’t sure she was ready for.
But for now, there was something else to focus on. She could hear loud voices outside of the tent—all familiar, thankfully—but she knew that meant she had overslept.
Y/N fixed her hair and her clothes, rubbing furiously at her face to get rid of any signs of her previous emotions, and emerged from the tent to see her friends all standing around Appa.
“—about getting closure and justice,” she heard Zuko say, and her brows instinctively creased.
“What’s going on?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms as she stopped between Sokka and Zuko. “What are you all talking about?”
Zuko’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. “Uh— good morning.”
“Good morning,” she said stiffly before repeating herself. “What’s going on?”
“Zuko knows where to find the man who killed our mother,” Sokka said. He was oddly quiet.
“And Katara wants to find him,” Aang said, his expression uneasy.
“Is there a problem with that?” Katara asked defensively.
“Not if Zuko’s right and you just want closure,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s what this is about. I think it’s about getting revenge.”
“Maybe it is!” Katara exclaimed, gesturing with one hand. “Maybe it is about revenge, Aang. But don’t you think I deserve it?”
“You don’t know what it will do to you,” Aang said. “I know how you feel right now, trust me—like violence is the only way to solve your problem. I felt that way after I discovered what happened to my people. But it’s not the only way.”
“I can’t let him go now that I know I can get to him!” she yelled, her voice rising with her anger. “Maybe it’s what I need—maybe it’s what he deserves.”
Aang’s eyes widened slightly. “Katara, you sound like Jet.”
“That’s not the same,” she snapped. “Jet hurt the innocent. This man— he’s not innocent. He’s a monster.”
“Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka said.
She set her jaw. “Then you didn’t love her the way I did.”
Sokka took a step back as his eyes widened. “Katara…”
“The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper.” Aang spoke up quickly, trying to fill the air after what she’d said. “While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.”
“That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple preschool,” Zuko said. “It’s the real world.”
“And you think he hasn’t experienced the real world?” Y/N snapped. “I think he knows a little bit about grief after what’s happened to him.”
Zuko looked at her with a surprisingly level expression, contrasting her narrowed eyes and upturned lip. “Monk pacifism isn’t going to help here.”
Y/N opened her mouth to retort back but Aang stopped her. “It’s okay. I forgive you, Zuko.” He looked at Katara. “That’s what you need to do. Forgiveness.”
Katara laughed in disbelief. “You want me to forgive the man who murdered my mother?”
“Of course not!” Aang said. “You need to face him—I understand that. But when you face him, you can’t kill him. You have to let the anger flow through you, and then out of you. Accept your emotions, then let them go.”
“Why should he get to live when our mother is gone?” Katara shouted. “I don’t want to forgive him, I want revenge!”
“Killing him won’t bring our mother back,” Sokka murmured. “You’ll just have someone else’s blood on your hands.”
“Good,” she said coldly. “An eye for an eye.”
“Makes the whole world go blind,” Aang finished. “One of the monks said that back in the temple—violence might feel right, but it just hurts everyone more. Forgiveness is the right choice.”
“Forgiveness is the same as doing nothing,” Zuko said.
“No, it’s not,” he said. “It’s easy to do nothing—forgiveness is hard.”
“It’s not just hard,” Katara snarled, “it’s impossible.”
Aang looked over at Y/N, who had been silent since her outburst at Zuko. “Y/N, please. You know revenge won’t help her.”
Y/N looked between the two of them, the steely determination brewing in Katara’s eyes at odds with a desperate softness in Aang’s. Something twisted in her chest, and she had to force herself to look away as she spoke.
“...Do what you have to,” she said quietly. “Whatever that ends up being.”
Hurt flickered across Aang’s expression before he looked away, and Katara nodded thankfully at her before she started walking away. Zuko cast a long look at Y/N before he followed her.
“I’ll see you guys later,” Y/N muttered as she hurried off in the opposite direction, swallowing her doubts as her hands bunched into fists and loosened over and over, desperately needing something to do with them.
Katara was going after her mother’s killer, and Zuko was helping her with it. Katara, her last line of defense in her feelings against him, was going on her own trip with him. Y/N knew it was for the best—it was something she needed to do and Zuko had the Fire Nation knowledge that no one else in their group possessed, so he was the obvious choice—but a small part of her still couldn’t help but despise it.
He was getting too close, far too close, and she wasn’t going to let that affect her.
No matter what.
-
Y/N had found a small solace by the cliffside, sitting on the edge as her legs hung off. She could fall just as easily as anything, but maybe it was the danger that calmed her, the fact that she was in control of what would happen. She heard the footsteps before anything though, and her body tensed up instinctively as she whirled around.
“It’s just me,” Toph said, her blank gaze aimed at the ground. “You’re jumpier than usual.”
“How can you tell?”
“I can hear every ant on this cliffside through their movements,” she said. “Your heart rate spiked so much that even a baby could tell you’re off. You’ve been off, ever since you came back.”
She smiled wryly. “I’m still getting used to everything again. It’s not an easy transition.”
“But you’re here,” Toph said, and she sat down next to her. “You’ve been through everything, and you’re still here. That means you’re tougher than everything the Fire Nation has tried to throw at you.”
“How can you say that so easily?” Y/N asked. “I’ve flipped out on everyone at least twice for no reason. I constantly have nightmares about what’s happened. I— I can’t even bend because Zuko still has this stupid hold on me. I don’t feel tough. I feel weaker than ever.”
“You’re still here,” Toph repeated, emphasizing each word. “So many other people would have given up by now if they were in your position. But you didn’t—you fought, and you continued to fight until you won, no matter how long it took you. That’s what makes you tough—not all the stuff you’ve been through, but the fact that you’re still standing at the end of it.”
“When did you become so wise?” she joked weakly, her gaze trailing off into the horizon. The sun was beginning to set, beautiful reds and oranges blending with deep purple. It reminded her of the night everything changed.
“Someone had to keep these dunderheads together while you were busy in prison.” Y/N chuckled a bit, but she could see Toph’s expression sober in her peripherals. “...I’ve just been worried about you.”
“Really?”
Toph punched her on the arm without looking. “Does that make you believe me?”
Y/N managed a small smile as she rubbed the spot. “Yeah.”
“Good. Because I don’t know how much sappy stuff I can take.”
Her smile widened as she wrapped an arm around Toph and pulled her closer. “So you do love me.”
“Let go of me!” she protested. “This is the worst kind of sappy stuff!”
But Toph made no move to get away from her, and Y/N laughed. “Just admit it. You missed me.”
“Of course I missed you,” she huffed. “Without you, I actually had to do all the work with Katara instead of knocking Twinkle Toes around with earthbending or practicing on my own. It was horrible.”
“I missed you too, Toph,” Y/N said with a smile. “I didn’t realize how much I appreciated your tough love until I didn’t have it.”
“I have plenty saved up for you, Snowflake,” Toph grinned, “so don’t worry.” But her expression sobered, and she paused.
“...I’m here for you,” she said after a moment. “If you need anything, or just someone to listen to. I’m good at listening to people complain.”
“Thank you,” she said, her smile softening. “That means more than you know.”
And as the two of them sat there in silence, nothing being said verbally but more in the air between them than ever, she felt content once again. She didn’t realize how much she just needed to talk to somebody. First her conversation with Katara and now with Toph—her friends really were the secret to making her feel better.
…Things would be okay again, Y/N thought to herself. No matter how long it took, her friends would be there for her.
Things would be okay again.
She would be okay again.
-
“They’ve been gone for too long,” Sokka grumbled.
“It’s been two days,” Aang said. “Zuko said the man they were after was retired—it can’t be easy to find a retired Fire Nation soldier, no matter how knowledgeable you are about the navy.”
“That’s too long,” Sokka insisted as he crossed his arms. While Y/N, Aang, Suki, Toph sat together in a loose arc, Sokka was up and pacing. He had been for the past twenty minutes.
“Can you sit down, Sokka?” Y/N asked. “You’re stressing me out.”
“You should be stressed out!” he exclaimed, flinging his arms up. “The boy prince of betrayal went off with my impressionable sister on a murder field trip. There is no reason to not be stressed out!”
“You need to give Sugar Queen more credit,” Toph said. “If Zuko tries anything, he’s the one that should be worried. Not the other way around.”
“Toph’s right,” Aang said, but then he frowned. “And I thought you trusted Zuko.”
“Not when he’s alone with my sister on a murder field trip!” Sokka heaved a long sigh as he stopped, staring out into the distance. Even though their island was one of a big scattered chain, they were still extremely isolated. It was unnerving sometimes, especially at night. “She feels everything so strongly, and… and she’s always felt guilty about what happened to Mom. I know she thinks this is her chance to make it up to her, to do what she wished she could have done on that day. But I also know that if she goes through with it, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.”
“She’ll make the right choice,” Y/N murmured. “I know she will.”
Aang suddenly perked up, and he turned around. When he did, his eyes widened. “They’re back.”
They all turned around to see Appa touching down at camp, but only one person dismounted.
“Where’s Katara?” Y/N instantly asked, her eyes narrowing as she darted up.
“She’s fine,” Zuko said, but when he glanced at Aang she could see his nerves. “She… she’s back at the dock. At the soldier’s village.”
“Did she…?” Aang didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to.
“No. He’s terrified out of his mind, but he’s alive.” A weight was visibly lifted off of Sokka’s shoulders with the single word, and Aang nodded.
“That’s… that’s good.”
“She said she needed some time to herself,” Zuko murmured. “I figured it was only right to bring you back with me.”
“I’m coming too,” Sokka said.
“Me too,” Y/N spoke up. She could feel Zuko’s gaze on her, but she didn’t meet it.
“I’ll stay back,” Toph said. “Someone has to hold this place down.”
“I will too,” Suki said, and she gave Sokka a light kiss on the cheek. “I hope she’s okay.”
“She will be,” Sokka said softly. “Eventually.”
Zuko nodded and started walking back towards Appa. “Let’s get back, then. It’s a bit of a ride.”
-
Soon enough, they were all in the village, and Aang jumped off Appa as soon as he’d guided him close enough.
“Katara!” he exclaimed as he ran towards her, sitting on the edge of the dock. “Are you okay?”
“I’m doing fine,” she murmured. Her voice was placid as the water she sat above, but it was strained.
“Zuko told me what you did,” Aang said softly. “Or… what you didn’t do, I guess. I’m proud of you.”
“I wanted to do it,” she said stiffly. “I wanted to take out all my anger on him, and I almost did. But… but I just couldn’t. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or strong enough not to.”
“You did the right thing,” Y/N said. “Facing that man makes you stronger than he could ever hope to be.”
“Forgiveness is the first step you have to take towards healing,” Aang said.
Katara stood up, and her gaze was a mixture of sadness and acceptance. But it was obvious the ordeal was still weighing on her. “I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him. But…” she looked past them and over at Zuko, the smallest of smiles pulling at her lips. “...I am ready to forgive you.”
She walked up to Zuko and hugged him, and after a moment of hesitation Zuko smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Y/N clenched her jaw and started walking back over to Appa.
She was happy Katara got closure, of course she was. But in the process, she had forgiven Zuko. She was her confidante, the one person who understood how deep her anger towards him went. She had been by Y/N’s side throughout their whole journey, at each and every road block, she was there for Ba Sing Se—for all of Ba Sing Se.
And somehow, Zuko had gotten her to forgive him too.
It was selfish, unbelievably so, for it to hurt her so much when Katara had just faced something impossible. But she couldn’t help the way that her chest twisted, how her heart ached, how her nails dug so deep into her palms they left indentations.
When the rest of them got back onto Appa, Katara sat down next to her. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” She didn’t make eye contact, her gaze focused into the distance as Aang set off for camp. “I’m glad you got to face him. That you made the right decision for you.”
“Y/N,” she murmured, “I know what this is about.”
“It’s not about anything except you,” she evaded. “This was a journey you had to take—we’re all behind you.”
“And you have all my thanks for that,” Katara said. She glanced at Zuko on the other side of the saddle, very obviously trying to pretend like he wasn’t listening in on their conversation. He wasn’t very good at it. “But I know you’re upset about… that.”
“We don’t need to talk about this right now,” she said.
“Y/N…”
She didn’t say anything. Katara sighed and settled back down on the saddle.
“Okay,” she nodded. “When you’re ready.”
Quiet conversation was made on the other side of the saddle between the three boys, but there was nothing between Katara and Y/N.
Nothing except a newly found weight on both their shoulders.
-
The sizzling fuse exploded when they got back to camp, though. A ride spent staring at the sky didn’t do much for her. Y/N got down from Appa the moment Aang guided him to the ground, and Katara let out a hefty sigh as she followed after her. She started to say her name, but she didn’t get far.
“Even you forgave him.” Her words were cold, icy rather than hot anger. “Even you! After everything we’ve talked about— everything you know!”
“I— I know,” Katara said, and she let out a deep sigh as she ran a hand through her loose hair. “But… but he helped me in a way that no one ever had. I found my mother’s killer. I got closure.”
“Well, maybe I should get him to help me find the guard who killed my father,” Y/N said sarcastically. “Maybe that’ll get me my bending back.”
“It could,” Katara said, and she was actually genuine. “It could work. And Zuko would help you.”
She huffed a mirthless laugh and shook her head, biting the inside of her lip to prevent the tears she knew would start welling up. “I’m not letting him back in. Even you said I shouldn’t.”
“I can’t say I know how much you’re hurting,” Katara said, “but… but Zuko is hurting just as much as you. There’s no excuse for what he did, I’m not saying that. But he wants your forgiveness more than anything in the world.”
“Did he tell you to say this during your trip?” she asked stiffly. “I mean, now that he’s turned you over to his side and everything.”
“I’m saying this because I care about you,” Katara said softly. “Y/N, I have seen you hurting for months now, all because of Zuko. Even from the first moment we met in the North, I knew there was something inside of you, and it’s still there. And if you don’t take care of it, it’s going to consume you.”
“I can’t forgive him.” Her voice was barely a whisper, a cracked, haunted resolve behind it. “I won’t let myself get hurt again.”
“And I can’t promise that he won’t hurt you again,” Katara murmured. “But I do know if you decide to let him back in, he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you.”
Y/N wasn’t able to muster any words. She wrapped her arms around her midsection and turned away, blinking back tears.
“He talked about you,” she continued. “When he wasn’t talking about the Fire Nation and where we were going, he was talking about you. He loved you back then, and he still loves you now. Even if it took him way too long to realize it.” Katara’s expression softened as well as her voice and she took a step closer. “All he wants is to help you however he can.”
“If he loved me then and he still betrayed me,” she whispered, “then how can I ever trust him again?”
“...You just have to,” Katara said quietly. “Trust in the Zuko you knew before you were forced to be on opposite sides. When the two of you were the missing half of each other’s souls.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, still unable to look back at Katara. “I can’t.”
“Then at least don’t push us away,” Katara urged. “You’ve been off. I don’t know what it’s about, but you can tell me as little or as much as you want, whenever you’re ready. I’m here for you—we’re all here for you, Y/N. We love you so much. Let us help you.”
She bit down on her lip hard to prevent the tears from welling up, and she was only able to muster a nod. “I will. Soon.”
“...Okay.”
Y/N walked off, and she could feel Katara’s worried gaze on her. It took all her strength not to look back.
-
Three days.
It all went on as usual. Suki asked if she was okay, but she didn’t push.
Sokka wouldn’t stop looking at her strangely. He must have heard her leaving her tent in the middle of the night.
-
Two days.
The nightmares were worse. She nearly woke up screaming. Thankfully, she didn’t wake Katara.
Aang sat with her during breakfast, telling ancient airbender stories. He didn’t ask anything when he had to repeat himself because of her blank stare at the ground.
She spent most of the day sitting by the water.
Maybe it would come back after this.
-
One day.
Everyone knew something was wrong, but she didn’t give any of them the chance to ask.
Especially Zuko. He wouldn’t stop looking at her, wouldn’t stop trying to talk to her. She brushed him off every time.
She packed her bag that night.
She barely slept a wink.
-
“What are you doing?”
Her plan was to leave at the crack of dawn, before her friends could ask any questions or try to go with her. She would be back by nightfall, and she would have closure. The nightmares would stop. The guilt would go away. She would be okay again.
But of course, he had to ruin everything.
She didn’t look over at the sound of Zuko’s voice as she rifled through her bag, making sure she had everything she needed. “Nothing.”
“That doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Very perceptive, aren’t you?” she said dryly. Y/N tied her bag shut and stood up, then climbed onto Appa’s back. “I’m leaving.”
His eyes widened. “You’re leaving? Does everyone else know about this?”
“Not leaving for good,” she scoffed. “I just have something I need to do.”
“And that is?”
Y/N glared fully at Zuko. “None of your business.”
“You’re taking Appa in the middle of the night to go somewhere,” he said, crossing his arms. “Every time someone’s tried to do that, it’s been for something important. Sokka was going to the Boiling Rock, and Katara wanted to find her mother’s killer. I’m guessing whatever you’re going to do is equally important, which means you’re gonna need backup.”
“I said it was none of your business,” she repeated. “I can handle myself just fine without you.”
“Well,” Zuko crossed his arms, “I’m not leaving until you tell me what you’re doing.”
“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” she jabbed.
“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” he responded with a shrug.
She went silent for a moment as her gaze traveled away, staring instead at the dark night sky. Today had been the hardest day yet, even looking back on her months in captivity. It was the day everything changed. She didn’t exactly know what possessed her to tell Zuko the reason, but after a moment, she did.
“Seven years ago today, my village was invaded,” she said quietly. “It’s the day my mother and I were captured, and… and the day my father was killed.”
Zuko’s eyes widened, and his voice was the same as hers when he finally mustered something. “I… I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“So am I,” she said, “but apologies haven’t helped me with anything. I’m going back. I’m visiting my village for the first time since my mother and I were taken. Now that I have the means to travel there, it’s something I need to do.”
“I understand,” Zuko said, “completely. I’ll come with you.”
Her response was instantaneous. “No.”
“You can’t travel that far alone,” he insisted. “I have no doubt that you can handle yourself, but you’ve trained to fight with your bending, and right now you don’t have it. If you run into any kind of trouble, you’re… well, you’re gonna be in trouble.”
“I can fight,” she said. “I’m good with my fists. I held my own against Azula.”
“You did,” he admitted, “but her skill also isn’t in her hand to hand. And if you’re up against multiple people—say, Fire Nation guards—you’re gonna go down quick.”
“You have just as much faith in me as ever,” she remarked sourly.
“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you!” Zuko defended. “I just don’t want you to die because you have too much pride to accept any kind of help.”
“It’s not that I don’t want any help,” she stated. “I just don’t want your help.”
Zuko let out a long-lasting sigh, shaking his head before he finally met her eyes again. “Look. I know you don’t like me, and you don’t have to. Not after… not after what I did. But whatever’s between us can’t affect our mission, because ultimately we’re all here to defeat my father. That has to happen no matter what, so like it or not, we’re probably gonna have to work together at least once to make that happen.”
“I don’t have to work with you if I don’t want to,” she said.
“Really? So if we’re in the middle of a fight and your choice is to either work with me or die, what would you do?”
“I’m not that stupid,” she snapped.
Annoyingly, though… he had a point. They couldn’t afford any distractions, not so close to the end. And Y/N wouldn’t be the reason for their failure because of Zuko.
“...Fine,” she relented, but the glare she pinned him with was still withering. “But you do whatever I tell you to do, and you don’t come with me when we get to my village. This is private.”
Zuko immediately broke out into a grin and he nodded. “Of course. I’m here for you.”
She averted her gaze as she took her seat on Appa’s head. “Get your things before I leave you here.”
He nodded again and he started off towards his tent. Y/N let out a loose sigh as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, the early morning chill beginning to get to her.
A trip with Zuko to her childhood village on the anniversary of the worst day of her life.
This couldn’t go terribly at all, she thought wryly.
-
“...So,” Zuko said, “do you know where we’re going?”
“No,” she said, “I just thought I would lead Appa around blindly and hope that we somehow end up in the right place.”
“So you do know—”
“Of course I know where we’re going,” Y/N snapped. Maybe it was unfair of her, but she didn’t exactly care. “Sokka took a map from Wan Shi Tong’s library before it collapsed, and he let me borrow it. It’ll take us a couple of hours, but we should make it before noon.”
Zuko nodded. “Where is your village? You never told me much about it when you talked about your past.”
“Why do you care?”
He huffed a laugh. “You can’t be serious.”
She said nothing, and Zuko sighed. “I care about you, Y/N, more than anything. I’m here because I want to help you. Of course I care about where you’re from.”
“That doesn’t mean we need all the small talk,” she said.
“It’s not small talk, it’s a conversation,” Zuko said dryly. “I’m more than happy to sit here in silence with you for another six hours, but I think that’s pretty boring.”
“...It’s by the southern coast, near the Zeizhou provinces,” she relented after a moment. “It’s so small that you can’t find it on a map unless you know what you’re looking for. We didn’t even have an official name—if we had to, we called it South Zeizhou because that was the only notable thing near us.”
“What was it like?” he asked. “Growing up in a place like that.”
“It was nice,” she said. “We were almost completely isolated from other villages, so we were tightly knit. Everyone knew each other—I’m sure I knew each person by name by the time I was five—and everyone helped each other. We didn’t have much, but everyone was well taken care of. Our community was everything.”
“That sounds beautiful,” Zuko murmured.
“It was,” she agreed. “Until your people invaded it and destroyed it.”
Zuko went silent at that, but instead of the sick sort of satisfaction she normally experienced, she felt… guilty.
It wasn’t his fault. Zuko was only a year older than her—when her village was invaded, he was probably in school lessons or learning how to be a prince. And now he was here, going against everything he knew, everything he’d ever had, to try and make things right.
He was a child just like her. And with a father like Fire Lord Ozai…
“...I’m sorry,” she said, and his eyes darted up, a bit of shock visible in them. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I just…” she sighed. “I’ve never forgiven the Fire Nation for what was done to my people. And I guess you’re just the easiest target.”
“I understand,” he murmured. “And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry too.”
“This doesn’t mean anything.” The words were quick to leave her mouth, and she didn’t look at him. “Just because I feel bad doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you.” Nevertheless, she could still hear the smile in his voice.
“I know.”
More silence.
“What was your father like?” Zuko asked as he broke it. “You speak of him so fondly.”
She bit her lip at the question as the memories flooded back, and Zuko was stumbling over his words almost immediately.
“You— you don’t have to answer,” he said, “obviously, if it’s too much, but I—”
“He was the nicest man you’d ever meet,” she said softly. “He was always willing to help anyone who needed it, always willing to do far more than he had to if he thought it would make someone happy. And he did—he made my mother the happiest woman alive. He was beloved by everyone in the village.” Y/N swallowed hard. “He died to protect it. To protect me.”
“You’ve made him proud,” Zuko said. “I know you have.”
“I hope so,” she murmured. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
She meant to leave it at that, but for some reason, the words continued to flow. “But I… I’m worried about what will happen when I get there.” that they won’t recognize me when I come back.”
Zuko frowned. “What do you mean?”
“It’s been years since I was there.” Y/N let go of the reins and wrung her hands together. She glanced down at the bandages, the rough fabric almost a comfort after her time without them. “I haven’t been back since I was captured. What if they resent me for not being there?”
“No one could possibly resent you for that,” he scoffed. “You were taken, Y/N, by soldiers. You were a child—what could you have done?”
“Anything,” she muttered. “If I had done anything, maybe things would have been different.”
“You can’t do that to yourself,” Zuko insisted. “You’ll drive yourself insane going down that path.”
She shrugged. “That doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”
“Look at me.”
Y/N frowned. “What?”
“Turn around and look at me,” he said again. “And don’t do your stubborn I hate Zuko thing. Just humor me for once.”
She scoffed and crossed her arms as she turned around, looking him in the eye. “What?”
“Do you think it’s Katara’s fault that her mother is dead?”
The jump to the topic made her blink, recoiling the slightest bit. “What? No— spirits, of course not.”
“But she died to save her,” Zuko said. “The raiders were there looking for the last waterbender, and that was Katara. Her mother gave herself up in place of her.”
“That’s not her fault,” she said. “Her mother ch—”
It hit her then, and her eyes narrowed. “You’re not clever.”
The slightest smile tugged at Zuko’s lips and he shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”
“You’re not clever,” she simply repeated, and she turned back around and grabbed the reins. She couldn’t see Zuko’s pleased expression as he adjusted his position in the saddle.
“Just trying to help,” he said, and his voice softened. “You’ve made your father proud, even if you don’t think so. You’ve made both your parents proud.”
She didn’t respond. She feared that if she tried to, the tears would spring. And she wasn’t going to cry.
But she appreciated his words more than he knew. Maybe even more than she knew.
But she couldn’t say that. And so they rode in silence.
-
“We’re almost here,” she announced, and she lightly tugged at Appa’s reins to get him to slow down. It had been a few hours of silent flying and navigating, but they’d made good time. By the spot of the sun in the sky, she could tell it was just before noon.
“Good,” he said.
They had been in the air for hours, starting even before the sun had risen, so it was no surprise when she glanced behind her and saw Zuko fighting off grogginess in the form of a barely stifled yawn.
“You didn’t have to come, you know,” she said, maybe a little too snippy.
“I wasn’t going to let you go alone,” Zuko said. “And even though you might not think so, I like being around you. I…” he sighed and shook his head. “Nevermind.”
“What?”
“I just want things to be the way they used to be,” he murmured. “But I know that can’t happen. And I know you’re tired of hearing it.”
“...I want that too,” she said quietly after a moment of hesitation.
She heard the rustling of leather and a sharp intake of breath, and it wasn’t hard to tell he was shocked by her words. And maybe she was shocked too, because she knew she meant them completely.
“Y/N,” Zuko started, “you—”
But then he was interrupted by her gasp.
“What?” he asked, only a moment of hesitation before he switched veins. He moved up beside her, and his eyes widened. “Flames of Agni…”
In the distance, she could see where the forest abruptly stopped. It went on for kilometers, the ashy remnants of fauna and chopped stumps. So much of the forest was just— was just gone. And in the center of it all…
Her village was unrecognizable. Houses made of wood and stone had been torn down and replaced with metal buildings, and the few original buildings that still were in disrepair, riddled with scorch marks and on the verge of falling apart. She could see armed Fire Nation soldiers manning certain spots around the village, as well as marching through the streets. They numbered far more than anyone in simple Earth Kingdom garb.
Flags and banners with Fire Nation insignias hung everywhere, but the worst part was the factory. It was as big as ten of their old homes, black, polished metal only good for serving as an eyesore. It pumped out acrid black smoke, and even from so far away it made her eyes sting. Her hands clenched into fists around the reins, and anger swelled up inside of her.
Everything that was held sacred in her village was gone, ruined by the Fire Nation for their own gain. Just like everything else in the world.
And she hadn’t even known about it.
“The Fire Nation is still here,” she said shakily. “I… I don’t know what I expected. I thought they would move on after the raid, but…” She barely managed to choke back a sob by clenching her jaw tightly. “They destroyed it all.”
“I’m so sorry.” There was horror in Zuko’s voice, and like her, he was unable to look away from the devastation. “I… If I had known…”
“Sorry isn’t going to fix anything,” she said bitterly, but it was more pained than anything.
“Then we will fix it,” he countered. Her eyes flicked up to him, the smallest bit of surprise visible. “We’ll take your village back and get the Fire Nation out, once and for all.”
Y/N’s grip tightened even further on the reins, her nails digging deep into her palms as she nodded. Her eyes hardened as they moved back to her village, and she nodded resolutely.
“You’re damn right we will.”
-
“Are you okay?”
“Of course I’m not okay,” she said. She wanted to snap at him, but she didn’t have the energy. Not after what she’d seen.
She and Zuko had set up camp a while away from her village, deep in what remained of the forest to give Appa enough cover. Though she wanted to light a fire, she knew it was too risky. And so they sat together on the ashy, barren ground, the air between them heavier than ever.
They were going to take back her village, that much was a given. The only question was how.
“You’re right,” he murmured. “It was a stupid question.”
“I just don’t understand,” she said weakly as she sat back on the ground. “Why would they stay in our village? We’re so far off the map that it’s probably costing them more to be here than not.”
“That’s what the Fire Nation does,” Zuko said. “They destroy everything they get their hands on.”
When Y/N looked up at him, he was staring at the ground, his jaw clenched.
“It’s about breaking their spirit,” he continued. “If they just left, your people could fight back. Get revenge for the invasion. But if they take over completely—”
“They crush an uprising before it has the chance to grow,” she murmured, “and they gain a workforce and all the natural resources they could want.”
“Yeah.”
Zuko’s voice was oddly quiet, stilted in a way she couldn’t place. She couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“What happened when you went back to the Fire Nation?”
Zuko glanced at her, swallowing hard before he looked away. “I’m not sure you want to know.”
“I do,” she said. “And I think I have the right to know.”
“Mai and I got together.” He sounded almost embarrassed, and she hated the twist of jealousy in her chest. “We talked during the entire boat ride home, and it went from there.”
“Oh,” she said stiffly. “So while I was sentenced to rot in prison for the rest of my life, you were getting busy with the girl who’s loved you her whole life.”
His cheeks flushed bright red in spite of the obvious anger. “That’s not what it was!”
“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.”
“We were both struggling,” he insisted. “I… I wasn’t handling Ba Sing Se well, and Mai was having doubts about everything. We gravitated towards each other in our misery, and— and it just happened.”
“You can’t honestly believe that’s true,” she snapped.
“You don’t know anything about Mai if you think it isn’t!” he exclaimed. “Neither of us were—”
“What?” she asked, brazen in his silence as he suddenly cut off. “You weren’t what?”
“…We realized that we didn’t like each other in that way,” he finished in a mumble. “Expectations pushed us together. Our own feelings pulled us apart.” Zuko looked back at her this time. “We couldn’t ignore our… our true feelings.”
“And what are those true feelings?” she asked. She couldn’t help the mocking tone in her voice, but the anger was beginning to come back. Mai had never been mean to her back in the palace, but it was hard to forget Omashu and Ba Sing Se. And it wasn’t exactly nice to hear that she and Zuko got together right after she was sentenced to a life in prison.
“I love you,” he said, “and you know that. But Mai, she—” Zuko shook his head and glanced away.
“What?” she repeated.
“...Do you remember Ty Lee?”
She frowned. “Yeah. She’s tried to kill me a couple times.”
“That’s who,” he said, and her eyes widened slightly. “They’ve always been close, but… I don’t know. Maybe the pressure of working under my sister brought them together. Maybe me being as horrible as I was pushed her away. But all I know is that Mai has feelings for her, and none for me. And I’m okay with that.”
“...Ty Lee,” Y/N said, and she managed a chuckle. “I think that’s the last pair I expected.”
Zuko cracked a smile. “It works, though. I hope they can figure something out.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled. “Me too.”
But then Zuko’s expression sobered again as he looked at her, his gaze as piercing as ever. “You know I don’t like her. You know there’s nothing between us. A—and you said you wanted things to be the way they used to be.” His voice was low, but there was no mistaking the edge of desperation in it. “So why can’t they be?”
“Why does it always come back to us?” she asked bitterly.
“Because I want there to be an us again so badly,” he said. Zuko’s voice was so genuine it pained her, and she hated how easily he was cracking her resolve.
The walls used to be easy to keep up, used to be gratifying. But now all it did was hurt. The night was cold, and she longed for his embrace.
But Zuko was fire. Beautiful, inviting, full of warmth, but able to hurt her just as easily.
And spirits, that was all she could think about as the scar on her arm stung. The burns on her hands had faded, and Ba Sing Se’s mark was nearly gone as well, but she couldn’t forget.
“Maybe there can’t be an us again,” she mumbled as she stood up. “And maybe we just both have to accept that.”
The look in Zuko’s eyes hurt, his downcast expression combined with the same longing she felt. So she walked away towards the forest, or rather what remained of it.
“I’m going to scout out our surroundings,” she said, though it was half-hearted. “I’ll be back when the sun starts setting. We’ll figure out a plan at nightfall.”
She’d disappeared into the woods soon enough. If Zuko said something, she didn’t hear it.
-
She held true to her word, and she was back by nightfall. Zuko had drawn a map of her village in the dirt with a stick, and though it was crude it was accurate. It turned out he had a better memory than she thought, and it also seemed that when they were working towards something like this, it was easier to work through the tension.
It took the better part of an hour for them to come up with something and actually agree on it, and it was still shakier than he liked—a lot of it relied on her people remembering Y/N the way that she remembered them. But it was a plan, and it could work, so it was good enough.
Soon enough, they were back on Appa, riding through the inky sky towards her village. Dressed in black from spares Zuko had in his bag—the same outfit he lended Katara during her mission, she was sure—they blended in perfectly.
“We’re here,” she whispered, and Zuko nodded as he sheathed his sword and moved up next to her on Appa’s head. “Do you remember the plan?”
“Of course I do,” he said. “Are you dropping down here?”
“Yeah. I’ll signal when I’m ready for you.”
He nodded again. “Good luck, Y/N.”
“...Thanks.”
She guided Appa closer to the ground, handing the reins off to Zuko when she thought she was close enough. She slid off as quietly as she could, her moccasins doing little to help with the shock of landing but good enough at muffling her movements. There were fewer guards than before, but it still made her nervous.
Y/N didn’t even dare to breathe as she moved through her village, ducking behind cover when she needed to as she made her way towards one of the only remaining houses. Despite the Fire Nation banner hanging across the front, it still felt like it was her village rather than another forced colony.
That was something, she supposed.
She pushed the door open quietly and pulled the fabric down from her face, checking once more to make sure there were no guards before she closed it. And when she turned around, she was met by a wide-eyed woman and a stark-faced man darting up from his spot on the floor.
It probably wasn’t the best look, showing up dressed in all black in the middle of the night while the village is occupied by soldiers. She could only hope they would recognize her.
“What are you doing in our home?” he demanded, but his wife shook her head.
“I must be dreaming,” she whispered, and she stood up as well. “Y/N? Is… is that you?”
“Leya,” Y/N said, and she felt the pinpricks of tears behind her eyes, “you remember.”
Leya laughed and clasped her hands together as she moved closer and pulled her into an embrace. “Of course I remember you, darling! How could I forget the little waterbender who always managed to soak my laundry just as it had finished drying?”
“Gan’s girl,” the man—Lao—marveled, and he laughed as well. “What in Kyoshi’s name are you doing here?”
“It’s hard to explain,” she said, slightly sheepish as she pulled out of Leya’s hug. “But basically… I’m here to save the village.”
Lao shook his head with a smile—that same smile she remembered from her youth, a mix of approval and surprise. “You haven’t been here since the invasion and now you’re here to save our village. You haven’t changed a bit.”
“What can I say?” she said with a slight laugh. “I’ve been busy with the Avatar.”
“The Avatar?” Leya asked, and Y/N held up her hand.
“As much as I’d love to tell you both what I’ve been up to all these years, we’re working on a schedule.”
“‘We’?” Lao caught. “Who else is here with you?”
She didn’t think she could exactly say the crown prince of the Fire Nation, no matter how reformed he claimed to be.
“A friend of the Avatar,” she decided. “He’s waiting for my signal. That’s when the action’s going to start.”
“What exactly is your plan?” Leya asked tentatively. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but our numbers aren’t the highest. Those who haven’t been sent away as laborers had their spirits broken long ago. There are very few with any kind of fight left in them.”
“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ve got more than enough fight in me for this whole village. But I need your help.”
Lao nodded. “Anything.”
She smiled, a miniscule amount of weight dropping off her shoulders in relief. “Good.”
-
Appa was stashed securely in the woods, a rucksack full of moon peaches to keep him happy and quiet, but Zuko was still nervous.
How couldn’t he be, hiding behind a gaudy metal structure pretending to be a house that fit into this village? He was only the traitor boy prince of the Fire Nation, most likely with a wanted poster and a bounty on his head courtesy of his father.
He wasn’t scared, though.
Nervous? Sure. But he couldn’t wait to give these soldiers what they deserved.
Zuko’s eyes snapped towards the sudden movement across the way—the Fire Nation banner had been ripped down from the house Y/N went into, and the woman who did it held her fist in the air for a moment before darting back inside.
The signal.
It was time.
Zuko took a deep breath, pulled his broadswords out of their sheaths, and started moving.
It didn’t take long to find a guard, standing at his assignment near some light post. Zuko dashed behind him and brought his swords up to his neck.
“Stay quiet if you want to keep your head,” he said. “Nod if you understand.”
The guard nodded, but Zuko saw his hand clenching into a fist. He moved one sword down, and he froze in place as the sharp edge settled against his skin.
“No firebending either,” he growled. “You wanna test my patience some more, or are you ready to cooperate?”
“I— I’ll cooperate,” he stammered. “Just don’t hurt me, please. What do you want?”
It was almost pathetic. These people took over an innocent village, and now they were so confident that they stationed guards like this. Zuko wondered if this man even knew what had been done here.
“Good,” Zuko said. “Who’s in charge here?”
“General Lee,” he said, and Zuko had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Of course. “He— he’s the one who took over this place at the beginning. The one who ordered the invasion.”
“And where is he?”
“The biggest house at the end of the lane,” he said. “You— you can’t miss it.”
Zuko thanked the soldier for his information by knocking the flat end of one blade against his head, and he took a step back as the man fell to the ground, unconscious.
Step one complete.
-
“How is your earthbending?” Y/N asked. She and Lao moved swiftly through the village under the cover of darkness, avoiding soldiers where they were stationed as they conversed in low voices.
“Not as sharp as it used to be,” Lao said. “I’ve been hiding it since the invasion—otherwise they would have killed me or sent me away. What do you need it for?”
Once again, that sheepishness came back. The plan she and Zuko created sounded very outlandish when she said it out loud.
“I want to destroy the factory.”
“You certainly don't aim low, huh?” Lao chuckled a bit, but he flexed his hands nonetheless. He moved his fist forward and a short pillar of solid rock shot up from the ground. “I’ve still got some of it, at least.”
“That’s why I asked for your help,” she said. “The Fire Nation builds everything out of metal, but I think they forget that rocks are pretty effective against it.”
Lao smiled as he sent the rock back down into the earth. “I like how you think.”
She smiled as well, but her head shot up at the movement near them. She stepped protectively in front of Lao, her instincts above anything, but the tension dissolved when she saw it was just Zuko.
“Did you find out where he is?” she asked, and he nodded.
“His name is Lee— General Lee,” he said. “The last house,” he pointed, “that way. You can’t miss it.”
“Good.” She cracked her knuckles. “I have some things I’d like to say to him.”
“Y/N,” he said, “he’s…”
“What?”
“He’s the one who did all of this,” Zuko said. “The one who ordered the invasion. He’s been here ever since.”
Her jaw clenched as she felt fire ignite inside of her. “Then maybe I have a little bit more to say to him.”
“Take this.” Zuko took one of his swords off along with its sheath and handed it to her. “Just in case.”
She nodded, taking some satisfaction in her practice swings before she stashed it across her back, then she looked at Lao. “You two are going to take down the factory together. Is anyone in it still?”
He shook his head. “Shifts ended a few hours ago. It should be completely empty.”
“Good.” Y/N looked at Zuko. “How do you feel about causing some explosions?”
He smirked. “Pretty great.”
“And how do you feel about crushing a lot of stuff?” she asked, turning to Lao.
“Even better.”
“Great,” she smiled. “Obviously, this is going to make a lot of noise. Get out when you feel danger—we might have to bring this fight to the streets.”
Lao cracked his knuckles. “Gladly. It’s about time we take our home back.”
“Laya’s alerted the people?” Y/N asked.
He nodded. “She’s gone house to house—she should be near the end by now. She and the rest of our people will be safe, and anyone who’s willing to fight will be ready for my signal.”
“Then I think it’s time we split,” Y/N said.
“Be careful,” Zuko said. “Don’t let your anger blind you.”
“I’ll do what I have to do,” she said simply.
Zuko nodded in understanding. “See you on the other side, then.”
“See you on the other side,” she murmured.
-
Y/N got used to the weight of the broadsword in her hand as she moved through the village yet again. She was surprised at how easy it was, how inattentive the few guards were. Their confidence would be their downfall.
It wasn’t hard to find the house of the general. It was so massive it edged on gaudy, obviously built for nothing but the man’s ego. The door wasn’t locked, and she just shook her head as she slid inside. This was ridiculous.
She closed the door as quietly as she could behind her, and she held her breath as she looked around the first floor. It was eerily empty, eerily silent. Maybe he wasn’t here.
Y/N tightened the grip on the hilt of the sword as she crept up the stairs, wincing at every creak. The whole upstairs was the general’s room, and she shook her head. This was more luxury than anyone in the village lived in. He’d built his comfort off the pain of her people.
“Would you like to tell me what you’re doing in my home?”
She whipped around, her sword instinctively flying up as she stared right at her target. So he was here, and he’d been just as quiet as her. He was younger than she expected, but his eyes told everything she needed to know.
“General Lee,” she said, and she was surprised at how steady her voice was. “This isn’t your home.”
“Isn’t it?” He was dressed in a simple tunic and pants, no armor in sight. Good. “I was here when it was built, and as far as I’m aware, it was built for my use.”
“You took it from my people,” she said. “You took everything from us.”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ve taken over a lot of villages.”
“Do you not have any shame?” Y/N demanded, and she pointed her sword at him. He didn’t even flinch. “Destroying the lives of innocent people, tearing apart their homes for resources, occupying them just to show off your strength. You kill people, you destroy families, and you don’t even care?”
The general had the nerve to smile. “It’s the way of the world. The weak fall, the strong prevail. I guess your people were just weak.”
Y/N couldn’t control herself after that. She yelled out as she lunged forward and swung with her sword. The general sidestepped her as she whirled back around, and he just laughed.
“You want to fight, girl?” General Lee mocked. “For what? Your people? Your honor? You won’t get far, I assure you.”
“For my family!” she growled. “Your men killed my father and forced my mother and I into servitude. I’ve wanted revenge for so many years, and now I can finally get it.”
His eyes lit with recognition and he raised his eyebrows. “The waterbenders. So you managed to escape—impressive.”
And then suddenly, there were two massive explosions. They were all the way across town, but it still rocked the foundations of the house. The impact must’ve been felt all over town, surely alerting every guard on duty that something was wrong.
Step two was complete.
It was Y/N’s turn to smile at the general. “There goes your factory.”
The general’s mocking confidence melted into cold anger. “You—”
“Blew it up,” she responded. “Yeah.”
She lashed out with her sword to force him out of the way, then booked it down the stairs and out of the house. She laughed in pure exhilaration as she saw all of the guards in the street, as well as the general running out of his house. The fire blazing in his hand matched the anger in his eyes.
“You want a fight, girl?” he growled. “I’ll give you one!”
General Lee launched the fireball at her and she dodged out of the way, watching as it sizzled against the ground. She held her sword in both hands, beckoning him to come further. It wouldn’t be an easy fight to win against an enraged firebender, but then again—she’d done it before.
He was far too eager to go against a young girl as he shot fire at her in repetitive blasts. She dodged what she could and slashed through the others with her sword, lunging at him with the blade when Lee gave her space.
But then fire shot past, narrowly missing her, and her head whipped around. It took these soldiers long enough to realize the fight was happening right next to them.
“Come on, Zuko,” she muttered as she backed away from the men, the general and the soldiers narrowing in on her. She brandished her sword. “Where are you?”
“You’ve picked a battle that you can’t finish,” General Lee spat as fire lit in his hand, “just like your father!”
Rage hotter than anything before ignited inside of her. And then, everything happened at once.
The general and his soldiers shot their fire at her.
Someone yelled at her to duck, and she dropped to the ground.
As the fire was extinguished above her, General Lee’s eyes widened. He took a step back. “What in Agni’s name—”
“I’m not too late, am I?” Zuko reached a hand down to her, and Y/N let out a relieved breath.
“Right on time,” she remarked as she took it and allowed him to help her up. “I’m in a bit of a situation.”
“I noticed.” Zuko turned to the general and gestured with his head behind them. “I’m sorry, general, but I think someone blew up your factory!”
“Prince Zuko,” he said sourly. “So you’re a traitor as well.”
“I’m not a traitor,” he said, stepping in front of Y/N ever so slightly. “I’m helping free these people from your glorified slavery.”
The general’s eyes narrowed. “So all it takes for the crown prince to give up his values is a pretty face.”
“You’re a sick man,” Zuko spat. “Take your soldiers, leave this village, and we’ll give you the mercy you never extended to her people.”
“I don’t think so,” Lee said, and he smiled. “Don’t worry, though—this’ll all be over soon. Unless you think you can go against every soldier here on your own.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been outnumbered,” Y/N said, and she drew her sword. “Besides—”
“—They’ve got help,” someone interrupted. She looked behind her and saw Lao, followed by a myriad of villagers—some earthbenders, some that were just ready to end this. More than she thought still lived here, more willing to fight than she thought.
So everyone’s spirit wasn’t broken.
She smiled. Step three.
“So you want to make this harder,” General Lee said. “I admire your tenacity, but it won’t do you much good.”
“We’ll see,” Zuko said.
Lee didn’t even say anything before he started firebending, and Zuko blocked it yet again. The battle immediately escalated from there, earthbenders and soldiers and swordsmen fighting. It was mostly visible in flashes of fire and the occasional lamppost, but it was loud.
Y/N and Zuko fought side by side against the general, their moves seamless—whenever one fell back, the other would step forward. She was surprisingly good with a sword, but it might’ve been her adrenaline.
With the amount of energy and anger pumping through her veins, she was sure she could take on anything at that moment. And having Zuko with her… She would be lying if she said it didn’t help.
It was a deadly dance between the three of them. Y/N’s sword sung as it cut through the air, and it was in sharp contrast to the explosions of fire in the background and the general’s own bending against them.
Maybe it was that adrenaline inside of her, or maybe it was the thought of finally getting to deliver justice for her village. Maybe the spirits were finally on her side. But whatever it was, General Lee ended up stumbling as he dodged the sword’s jab at him, and it gave her enough time for Zuko to kick him in the chest and send him backwards. Y/N took the opening and swept his legs, putting all her strength into the single move, and it worked.
He fell to the ground, a slight grunt being forced out as he landed on his back, and Y/N pointed her sword at his neck. She took immense satisfaction in the flicker of fear in his eyes.
“Zuko,” she said placidly, “go help the others.”
He looked at her for a good, long moment before he conceded with a step back. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”
“I won’t regret this,” she murmured.
Zuko’s gaze remained on her for another moment before he turned and ran back into the fray. Y/N could do nothing but stare down at the general. The man who took everything away from her in one short afternoon, now defenseless below her blade.
“So,” she said, “after all this time, all it took was one fight for you to fall.”
The general gave her a wry smile. “It wasn’t exactly a fair fight.”
“Neither was the invasion of my village. But that didn’t stop you, did it?”
“You savages have never understood,” he growled. “No great leader has ever gotten anywhere by being nice, by yielding to the demands of those lesser than him. There’s a reason the Fire Nation is at the world’s helm while every other nation continues to fall to its feet.”
“Because you go after the defenseless!” she exclaimed. “You go after those who can’t do anything against you, and then you destroy everything you find. All you care about is power.” Y/N huffed a mirthless laugh and gestured around them. “And look where that’s gotten you.”
“Yield,” she demanded before he had the chance to speak, moving her sword closer to his neck. “Yield, and leave this village, and I’ll let you leave with your life.”
The general laughed, followed by a wince as her blade nicked his skin. “Don’t you know anything about the Fire Nation? You served there for so long.”
“Yield!” she shouted, her voice trembling along with her grip. She just wanted this to be over.
“We fight until death,” he continued. “You’re going to have to kill me if you want your way.”
“You think I won’t?” she challenged. ”You’ve taken everything from me! Your life is too small a price to pay for what you’ve done!”
“I think you’re weak,” he spat. “Too weak to do what you need to do.”
Her eyes stung with tears as she pulled the sword away from his neck.
General Lee huffed a laugh. “Like I said: you’re wea—”
He was stopped in the middle of his sentence as she plunged the sword into his heart. His eyes widened as he choked out his last breath, the light beginning to drain out of him. And then he was gone.
“I’m not weak anymore,” she murmured.
Y/N stared at his lifeless body for a moment, glanced at the gleam of blood on metal.
She had just killed a man. The one responsible for her father’s death, for the imprisonment of her and her mother, for the invasion of her village.
Y/N didn’t feel remorse, didn’t feel satisfaction—but she felt whole. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
She sheathed her sword and walked away, back towards the chaos of the ongoing fight. Zuko had joined the others, fighting with a combination of his sword and his bending, and it worked wonders. For a moment, all she could do was watch him. The grace he fought with was akin to that of a waterbender.
Lao moved like he was twenty years younger, working in tandem with other earthbenders as they took down the Fire Nation forces soldier by soldier. Toph would have been proud.
But now there was only one thing left to do.
Y/N took a deep breath then cupped her hands around her mouth, yelling as loudly as she could. “Soldiers of the Fire Nation! Your general is dead!”
That was enough of a shock to knock them off their balance, because Zuko and the earthbenders all immobilized their foes. Zuko with a sword to the neck, Lao and his crew with rocks around their legs and other limbs. The fight died down quickly, all of them staring at her. Zuko’s expression was impossible to read.
“You heard me,” she repeated, “General Lee is dead. You have no stake in this village anymore. Leave, or face the same fate as him.”
“Will you stand here and fight for a nation that doesn’t care about you?” Zuko shouted, catching on to her goal. “Or will you do what’s right and leave these people be?”
Silence hung in the air, only broken by the heaved breaths of soldiers and earthbenders alike. She stared at them all expectantly, her heart pounding in her chest.
And then, the clatter of a sword against the ground.
“I surrender.” A soldier being held in place by rocks around her ankles had dropped her weapon, looking Y/N straight in the eye. “I’ve served the Fire Nation blindly for far too long.”
She nodded at the earthbender, and he retracted the stone around her.
“Go,” Y/N said. “Back to wherever you came from.”
“Your mercy…” the soldier murmured, and she shook her head. “Thank you for giving us a second chance. I know it means little, but I apologize. For everything.”
And then she walked off—in the direction of the shore, she noticed—and soon enough, she’d disappeared into the wood. They must’ve come in on ships.
Slowly, the remaining soldiers either dropped their weapons or declared their own surrender, and one by one they were let go. The sound of clattering metal was music to her ears, and with each one the weight lifted a little more.
The soldier in Zuko’s hold was the last to drop his sword, and Zuko kicked it away before removing his blade from his neck. As he walked away, she let out a sigh of relief.
“…We did it,” she said. “We finally did it.”
“You did it,” Zuko said as he sheathed his sword, doing the same to the other when Y/N handed it to him. “None of this would have been possible without you.”
“Wouldn’t have been possible without you either,” she said, and the smallest smile tugged at his lips.
Lao walked up to her, and he enveloped her in the biggest, tightest hug she’d felt since Katara’s at the air temple. She reciprocated immediately, tears springing into her eyes at the warmth he carried.
“You did it,” he said, his voice and eyes full of pride as he pulled away, though his hands remained on her shoulders. “You’ve given us the freedom that none of us could attain in seven years. We owe everything to you, Y/N.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, unable to help her grin, and she looked back at the other villagers. “Any of you—thank you so much. Tonight, you fought for our people! You fought for our village! And we’re finally free from the Fire Nation.”
A wild cheer erupted from the group, and Y/N had to wipe away the tears that began to fall. They’d really done it.
“Go, be with your families!” she exclaimed. “Celebrate with your loved ones! You deserve it—enjoy your freedom!”
Several of the villagers clapped her on the shoulder or shook her hand as they began to wander around, returning back to their houses. She heard one discussing architectural plans, about what they would do with everything the Fire Nation left behind, as well as their houses. The smile wouldn’t leave her face.
And then Zuko walked up, alerting her to his presence by clearing his throat. “Y/N,” he said, and she turned around.
“What?”
“First of all, congratulations.” His own small smile was there, and she felt her cheeks warm. “You freed your village from a seven year occupation. It’s amazing.”
“It feels amazing.” She rubbed her arms, the cold of the night beginning to get to her as her adrenaline from the battle started to fade. “I can’t believe we did it.”
“I’m not surprised,” Zuko said. “You can do anything you put your mind to—I’ve learned that twenty times over by now.”
She chuckled a bit, but Zuko’s expression sobered. “But I have to ask. You… you killed the general.”
The air between them immediately changed. “I did.”
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“I don’t feel happy,” Y/N said, “so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going to start killing everyone that’s ever wronged me.”
Zuko laughed, though it was slightly nervous. “That’s, uh— that’s good.”
“But I don’t feel sad either,” she said. “I just feel… right. Like it was something I had to do. Not just for my people, but for me. To know that he’ll never be able to hurt someone the way he hurt me.”
“...Good,” Zuko repeated. “That’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “But… I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us. At least until I’m ready to tell everyone.”
“Of course,” he agreed.
“Good,” she said.
Y/N looked up at the sky, the sun having fully set. It was dark except for the bits of ashes that littered the battlefield and the lanterns that lit up the path through the village. But there was still something she needed to do.
She looked back at Zuko. “I have something I need to see. And I want you to come with me. Is… is that okay?”
He smiled, his voice soft when he spoke. “I’d love to.”
-
The path she led him down was one well-traveled by the people of her village—the inky darkness they walked through was penetrated only by the flames Zuko held in his hand at Y/N’s request. She knew she would be able to find her way without it, though.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“Somewhere special,” Y/N answered. “Sad, but special. Somewhere I’ve thought about a lot since my mother and I were taken.”
It took a few more minutes of walking in silence only disturbed by night ambiance. When they got there, Y/N let out a quiet sigh. There was unimaginable weight behind the sound.
“We’re here.”
“Where is ‘here’?” Zuko asked tentatively. But then he made the fire in his hand bigger and brighter, and his breath caught in his throat.
“...Hi, Dad,” she said softly, her gaze focused on the headstone. “It’s me. Your little girl finally found her way back home.”
“Y/N…” he murmured.
“I’ve been wanting to come here for a long time, but I’ve never been able to,” she continued. “But you don’t have to worry anymore—the village is free. The Fire Nation is gone. And Mom is okay—she’s safe in Ba Sing Se, and after all of this is over, I’m going to find her again, and I’m going to take care of her. You don’t have to worry about us anymore.” Y/N chuckled. “I’m sure I’ve been driving you crazy with everything I’ve been doing lately. But you can rest in peace now.”
“Are you sure you want me here?” he asked. “I— I don’t want to disturb you—”
She shook her head, placing her hand lightly on his arm. “Stay. Please.”
“...Okay,” he said. “Of course.”
“This is Zuko,” she said, and she laughed a bit as he hesitantly waved. “He’s… he’s the most important person in my life.”
His eyes widened a bit and he looked at her, but her only response was to wordlessly slip her hand into his. He didn’t hesitate to lace his fingers through hers.
“We’ve been through a lot together, and I’ve… I’ve been really angry at him lately. And I thought it was good, righteous anger, but all it did was eat me up inside. I’ve been miserable because of it—I even lost my bending. But now… now, I understand.”
She looked at Zuko now. His gaze hadn’t moved.
“I love you,” she said, “and I mean that with everything in me. I’ve been so angry at you because of what you did that I haven’t let myself think about anything that you’ve done—and you’ve helped my friends so much since you joined them. You’ve helped me too, even when I claimed I didn’t need anyone.”
“And all this time, I thought that letting you go was what I needed to do. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.” She tightened her grip on his hand—her lifeline. “I’ve lost so much in my life, Zuko, things that I can’t get back. And I’m not going to let myself lose you again.”
Y/N pressed a gentle kiss to Zuko’s lips, and he extinguished the fire in his hand as he immediately reciprocated it. It was impossibly soft, impossibly right. And Y/N knew then that this was exactly where she was supposed to be.
“I love you too,” he murmured, and his eyes shone even in the darkness. “More than anything. And I’m so sorry that I ever made you think anything else.”
She pulled away from the kiss to embrace him, and when his arms wrapped around her, it was like home. The constant twist in her chest, the constant weight she’d been carrying for months—it dissipated, and she felt lighter than ever. Spirits, it all felt so right.
And when they pulled away, Y/N rested her head on Zuko’s chest. He responded by wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her in close.
“Thank you for taking me here,” he said. “For trusting me enough with it.”
“Thank you for never giving up on me,” she said.
“Speaking of that…” Zuko said, and there was a slight lilt to his voice as he lit the fire in his hand again. “How about trying that bending again?”
Y/N chuckled a bit as she looked at her hand, flexing her fingers the way she used to. She barely had to concentrate as she pulled moisture from the air, forming into an orb of water in the air. She wasn’t even shocked—she’d known, after they got here. It wasn’t anything concrete, just… a feeling. A feeling that order had returned.
“It’s back,” he said, and the boyish surprise in his voice made her smile.
“That it is.”
Y/N formed it into a flower and then froze it, gingerly taking the stem in her fingers. She walked up to her father’s grave, running her fingers over the engravings. She wasn’t here when it was made, but she was so thankful it had been made. That her people had always been thinking of her and her family.
GAN
HUSBAND OF KURA, FATHER OF Y/N
48 AG-93 AG
WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR HIS LOVE AND HEROICS
It was bittersweet, but she was glad he had a spot here. He would always be remembered.
She carefully placed the flower of ice against the headstone, lowering the temperature of her breath as she blew on it to preserve it longer. It would melt eventually, of course, but this wouldn’t be her last time here. Next time, there would be real flowers.
“I love you, Dad,” she murmured, resting her head against the stone as she closed her eyes. “Forever and always.” She stayed there for a moment, and the gentle breeze that blew through the enclave was no coincidence. For the first time in a very, very long time, she felt peace inside.
She stood back up with a sad smile, wiping at the tears before she turned to Zuko. “I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
Y/N nodded. “I am.”
Zuko nodded too, and they started to walk together down the path.
And when he offered his hand, she took it without hesitation.
-
hope you enjoyed this mf emotional marathon of a chapter lmao im gonna go hibernate for a few months because jfc
perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator @louderfortheback
atla tags: @marianne1806 @brown-eyed-thang @akiris
ehfar tags: @chandies-sideblog @zacatecanaaaa @anzanity @randomthingssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy @whats-my-question @selfship-mishaps @ilistentotayswifttocope @i-make-questionable-choices @3leni @thatobsessedreader @lostgreekgod @oriontingz @zerode-unhinged @badpvn @mimi-sanisanidiot @adhdhufflepuff @aquaamethyst96 @hollyismentallyillhelp @holypoetrygarden @islandgayneery @pitrii-petra @jinxed-jk @veras-fanfic-reblogs @cloud-9ine @lucifersidepiece @kiskzawagnerwhore @froggi-00 @eajalova @mrsyixingunicorn10 @xxxxxxdelenaxxxxxx
#zuko x reader#zuko x you#zuko x reader fic#zuko#zuko fic#avatar#avatar the last airbender#atla#avatar fic#atla fic#avatar the last airbender fic#atla x reader#avatar x reader#sadie writes#ehfar
518 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Genderbent Percy Jackson Names ideas!
Hold on tight cause this could get long
Percy Jackson —> Penelope Jackson
Ive seen a lot of takes where persephone is used and while i could see sally or Poseidon naming him that as a way to appease hades and try and avoid his wrath, i like Sally choosing the name of someone who got a happy ending. Penelope in greek mythology faces a lot of hardships but in the end she did get her happy ending. I also feel like Penelope being married to one of Athena’s favourite champions goes well with Penny Jackson falling for one of Athena‘s favourite sons. Also this Penelope choosing to follow her boyfriend on his perilous journey (ie. Falling into Tartartus with him) than being separated from him like the original Penelope was.
Jason Grace —> Helen Grace
Doesn’t start with the same letter but i wanted a name relating to greek mythology that i could think of reasons for. Ican see multiple ways Helen would end up with her name
1. Beryl Grace names her that out of pride. She seduces the king of gods and now she has a daughter just as beautiful as the original Helen.
2. Helen Grace does actually look a lot like Helen of Troy and was named by zeus/Jupiter for the resemblance
3. Hera, the goddess of marriage and women, maybe not being as hateful of Helen of Troy because she’s one of Zeus’ demigod daughters and not a demigod son. Also the original Helen having tumultuous marriages (depending on which version you go by) just like Hera who’s husband is about as unfaithful as you get. I could see Helen becoming one of her fave demigods and wanting to honour her by naming this new child after her. Or again Zeus naming her for that reason.
4. Helen of Troy was used in an insult against Hera so Hera being like ‘fuck you this is the new Helen, she’s gonna turn out much better than the original and she’s all mine’.
Also Helen Grace ending up in a kind of forced relationship with a son of Aphrodite.
Nico Di Angelo —> Viviana Di angelo or Mirabella Di Angelo or Rosa Di angelo
This one I’m not as decisive on, but i tried to find some italian/latin names that could be shortened to a nick name
Viviana means lively. Can be shortened to Viv. I could see this as a sort of contrast to her being the daughter of god of the dead but also Nico going through a lot of shit but surviving.
Mirabella means wonderous beauty and admiral which i think Nico is. Could be shortened to Mira or Bella.
Rosa is just a name that was popular in 1930s italy.
Also Benedetto for Bianca
Annabeth Chase —> Anthony Chase
The chase family tends to go with long posh sounding names so i thought this went well. Means praise worthy. I could also see Alexander after Alexander the Great but i don’t like giving deep meanings to every single name.
Piper McClean —> Presley McClean
Chose this because it was one of the only male P names that i liked to be honest, but Piper’s dad is famous and famous people tend to give their kids stand outish, meaningful names so maybe Presley was named after Elvis or something like that.
Frank Zhang —> Freya Zhang
Also just liked this one. Could be Francesca (no clue if i spelled that name right lol).
Leo Valdez —> Leah Valdez
Closest name to Leo i could think of.
Hazel Levesque —> Henry Levesque
Just a popular 1920s boy name starting with H.
Thalia Grace —> Hector Grace
I chose Hector because Hector of Troy was the greatest warrior for Troy and i think Zeus would want his son named after a great warrior. Before you say ‘but Hector was defeated by Achilles so shouldn’t he be named after Achilles’ I think even Zeus might think twice about naming the possible child of the prophecy after someone that had to be shot down because he was getting out of control. I don’t know if it rolls of the tongue as easily as Thalia Grace but i also thought it went nicely with Helen.
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson genderbend#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#the seven#annabeth chase#jason grace#thalia grace#leo valdez#hazel levesque#nico di angelo#frank zhang#heroes of olympus
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
oh hey, id love to here your labduo hcs
YAYYYY ok. i'll start off with the demon soulmate ones (not specific to them) since someone else asked to hear about that as well. this is very long sorry
SO. all demons are born with a special kind of semi-immortality (able to be killed but unable die from age) where their lives are connected to a mortal soulmate(s). soulmate in this context has no inherent romantic or sexual connotations; soulmates can be strictly platonic, romantic, sexual, or anything in between. they dont even necessarily have to spend their lives with each other, it's purely the bond and the connections between their lives.
soulmate bonds exist from the moment all parties are alive, but the demon doesn't get the instinct to seek them out until the age of 18. the demon will follow this instinct and once they meet their soulmate(s), their lives will be connected from there on.
if the demon decides not to seek them out for whatever reason, they'll still naturally be drawn to them. however, if by bad luck or purposeful avoidance they dont meet their soulmate(s) by age 50, then they'll just Die. for this reason most dont avoid their soulmates but there are some who choose this lonesome dangerous lifestyle; choosing a set-in-stone 50 year lifespan over one tied to a mortal's lifespan, which could end up being cut short.
if the demon has already met their soulmate(s) before the age of 18, then nothing really changes. they still don't KNOW they're soulmates until they turn 18, and then once they do the connected lives come into effect.
these mortal soulmates have historically been humans, which is what led to the horned human variant coming into existence a long LONGGG time ago. these are different from demon-human hybrids, as over the years they've become their own subspecies. the horned human variant is still considered fully human, just with horns and a tail. this is what c!tommy is, while c!eryn is an actual demon-human hybrid. here's this old chart i made to illustrate the differences:
demon-human hybrids don't have quite as good of a sense for locating their soulmate(s) as full demons; they'll still naturally be drawn to them but won't really be aware of it until the bond has been forged, unlike a full demon.
^ this is all obviously expanded upon from bad and skeppy's canonical soulmate bond btw.
ANYWAYS so that brings us to labduo. (i forgot they were called that btw. awesome) basically they're soulmates, but as per the way this all works, eryn doesnt realize this until they turn 18. and that's when he's like ummmm tommy. i think we're soulmates lol. and tommy is like wot. rlly? ok. and that basically is it LOL. tommy lives with tubbo and ranboo in the future to me, i dont think eryn and tommy would be attached at the hip soulmates. eryn would probably go off on his own adventures and come back every so often to catch up, rest at the benchtrio house, etc. rolewise they're like the distant uncle who randomly shows up from time to time LOL.
when it comes to other hcs for them ummm i dont actually have a lot. i think they figured out they were trans around the same time, like pre-puberty, and that was something that rlly brought them together. eryn tried to cut tommy's hair and it was a disaster. for anything more read this comic i made a while back
for me tommy was just this scrappy kid who showed up at the village stealing bread and shit, until he befriended eryn and was taken in by eryn's mom. ive never given tommy's actual origins much thought, as i dont think it rlly matters to me. the thing thats important is that he was an orphan from a young age. as much as i think the lab stuff can be cool i think i do just imagine him to have had normal parents and. Something happened where he did not have them anymore. young enough where he didnt have memories of them or anything. idk
OH and rq to explain this doodle in the context of all this. its basically just eryn saying that it's a good thing all of tommy's trauma and deaths happened BEFORE their soulmate bond existed or else it would've happened to eryn too lol
thats kind of it...... thank you for your interest...
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
rejected ; c.h. (part vii)
summary: he was just a silly little crush that you had in high school, and you were sure that after graduating, you would be over it. so why is your heart beating fast as he sits next to you in your first class on your first day of college?
chapter summary: apologies probably won’t fix what was broken, but an opportunity presents itself in an interesting way.
pairing: calum hood x reader (gender-neutral)
genre: fluff, angst, classmates to friends to loves au, college au
warning(s): mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of how said-past relationship is affecting person, cursing (as usual)
word count: 2.3k words
a/n: this took... so damn long. illness, writer's block, life, emotions -- writing did not stand a chance lol. but !! it's finally here, even though it can be looked at as a filler chapter, but still !! i believe there's about one or two parts left before it's officially over!! i hoped to finish this series during 2022 but uhhhh... yeah lol. i also did not get a calendar so wish me luck now onto serious stuff -- as usual, i am going to link the reddit post with links to donate to ukraine as the war is still raging. finally, if there are any mistakes, please let me know! enjoy, and happy new year!
intro | i | ii | iii | iv | v | vi | vii current | viii ...
series masterlist! | main masterlist!
Calum knows Ashton’s worried. The nervous eyes that move around his face, the prominent frown lines that cover the absence of a friendly smile, and the tone of Ashton’s voice as he greets him—it’s very noticeable.
“Hey,” Calum greets back.
Ashton notes the dark circles around Calum’s eyes, the puffy eye bags, and the redness indicating he has not slept well. Calum holds his emotions in his eyes.
“What happened?” Ashton wastes no time, wanting to find out what exactly has his friend in this state.
Calum sighs, sitting on Ashton’s couch with his head in his hands. How does he break it down?
Recalling the scene from yesterday, he feels like bringing up your confession first, but he knows that’s not the main issue at hand. Rather the main issue is himself.
Not getting a response, Ashton pushes further, “You said you fucked up bad, again, so I’m assuming this involves—.”
“They told me they liked me,” Calum interrupts, voice strained as he breathes out. He digs his palms into his eyes trying to quell the frustrated tears, “and I said some awful things.”
“Awful…how?” Ashton holds his breath, staring at Calum’s hunched form.
“I—,” Calum groans, leaning back with his hands covering his face, “I basically threw our friendship in their face.”
Calum finds it hard to explain himself. Looking in from the outside, Calum could see himself as a cowardly selfish person; acting without a second thought, inconsiderate of how it would make others feel, all just to make themselves feel better. He took your concern and kindness, stomped on it repeatedly, and threw it in the trash. And to make it worse, you still had the guts to tell him you liked him. That was something he was not brave to do.
“You can’t be short with me, Cal,” Ashton scolds, observing Calum’s body language.
Calum moves his hands down his face, revealing his eyes—which were glossy and a slightly darker red than before—as he stares at the ceiling. He avoids Ashton’s stare because he knows it would have him spilling more than what he wants to let out, and he’s not quite ready for that. Not yet, at least.
“Sheila still has a hold on me,” Calum states, swallowing the bile rising in his throat, “she has a hold on me and I can’t let go.”
“Cal,” exasperation flows out of Ashton as he sits next to Calum, mirroring his position to stare at the ceiling, “Sheila was—is—a bad person. She had no regard for how she made people feel, always wanting to be the center of attention, and when she doesn’t get what she wants she becomes someone completely different. Worse.”
Ashton watches Calum shut his eyes, a tear slipping out before his eyes open again.
“Toxic and abusive relationships,” Ashton sighs, continuing, “it’s—they are hard to move on from. I get that. But I know you, Cal. You’re stronger than you think you are.”
Ashton knows that it’s a weak attempt to soothe Calum, but he recalls how well Calum kept it together throughout the last year of high school. Anyone who wasn’t privy to the relationship’s ups and downs would’ve thought that Calum never went through something like that. Those who knew, though, couldn’t understand how Calum can keep his head up, but at the same time were proud of him.
Calum’s eyes flutter shut again, nose flaring as a few more tears slip out.
“Throwing the box out from under your bed is a great start.”
Calum knows it is. He hates that he’s right (and he does not know how Ashton knew about that box), but it would be best to throw it out.
“I will,” he whispers, using the sleeves of his sweatshirt to wipe at the tears.
“Now,” Ashton readjusts in his seat, “tell me exactly what happened.”
Calum heaves out a sigh, letting a few beats of silence pass before starting from the very beginning.
¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸
If there is one good thing to come out of this mess, it's that you finally gained enough confidence to confess how you feel to Calum.
Sure, it didn't go the way you wanted it to, rather you would have preferred if you were in a better mood instead of crying in front of him. Along with it being done under better circumstances, as well.
It seemed selfish; he was dealing with something and you had to drop the bomb on him like that. From an outside perspective, it would have been better to withhold that confession, but then again, having it bottled up for so long was not a good idea.
Instead of sitting in your room wallowing over what could’ve happened (for over a week at this point), Jessie forces you out of your sad bubble to visit a few shops to help them get started on their business.
You put up a fight, making up a plethora of excuses starting from illness to being tired. All of them were brushed off, eventually making you give up once clean clothes were being tossed to you.
Standing in the premium fabric section in a craft store, you tune out the sound of other patrons and the cheesy holiday music. Jessie doesn’t try to get your opinion on fabrics anymore, knowing you’ll continue to tune out every question asked.
Jess won’t lie; they didn’t think you had the guts to confess to Calum. When you called later that day to tell them what happened, Jessie thought it was just a late April Fool’s joke, or that they fell asleep early and were dreaming – you almost hung up since you thought the call dropped – but when Jess came to, they did what they could to console.
But now this was getting ridiculous.
“Hey,” Jess tosses a roll of lace to you, shaking you out of any self-deprecating thoughts you were having, “it’s not the end of the world.”
You sigh, “I know, but it was so embarrassing.”
“So?” Jess questions, taking the roll back and placing it on the shelf.
“So,” you continue, shifting the shopping basket to the other arm, “you didn’t see the way he looked at me after I told him how I feel. You didn’t see and feel the shift in emotions, how tense it got.”
Jessie gives you a look, the same one they give you when you start to sound like you’re making excuses. You hate that look.
“Listen to me,” Jessie places their basket down before facing you and doing the same with your basket. You nod once for them to continue, “I am going to be one hundred percent honest. On one hand, I’m proud you finally confessed. Honestly, it could’ve been handled better, and definitely during a different conversation. But you did it. However, on the other hand, that was not the best thing to do. How Calum handled it is both understandable and somewhat irrational, but he has his reasons. So don’t beat yourself up, because you’re not the only one feeling bad about the whole thing.”
You bite your tongue, knowing that, once again, Jess is right.
Jessie picks up both baskets, handing you yours before finishing, “You have every right to be upset. It’s not easy to get over that, but it’s time to move on and continue.”
You nod once again, letting Jessie’s words replay in your mind and settle.
It is time to move on. Dwelling over what could’ve been, over how it should have been handled, and going through different scenarios to think of how you could’ve fought back and hit Calum with equally hurtful words is completely useless.
¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸
You have to give your professors props for not assigning any major work for the upcoming holiday break. A couple of essays, some reading, and some studying that you can cram before break ends – break will be mostly relaxing.
Except for the fact that your English professor announced a group project. It was a project that was supposed to be part of the final grade before the break, but it was decided to be a good way to start the new semester (and new year) as it allows for discussion with other students.
You found it to be dumb because it would have been better if the project was given at the start of the fall semester if your professor wanted people to talk to each other. But, English professors can be odd (at least your junior and senior year English teacher was).
It was decided that over break, every student will receive the email of the guidelines of the project, along with the names and emails of their partner or partners, as it was made clear with the handful of students not returning in the new year made the class count uneven. You can only hope you get one partner, and that they’re not Calum or Ashton.
Comically, life is a joke sometimes.
“Your professor must hate you,” Jessie wheezes into the phone, “it’s unfortunate as it’s hilarious.”
You roll your eyes, mixing in the final ingredients for the cookie dough after placing your phone down on the counter with the speaker on.
Jessie inhales deeply, “Oh, my god I’m so sorry.”
You hum sarcastically, not buying their apology. You stop mixing, placing both hands on the counter and shaking your head, “I seriously cannot believe it. Here I am, enjoying my holiday break and making holiday treats, and suddenly the email comes and I see the two names I did not want at all.”
“Luck’s on your side,” Jessie jokes before another laugh escapes, “it’s the universe’s way of telling you there’s still a chance.”
“No, Jess,” you resume mixing, “there were plenty of chances, and all of them were in vain.”
“At least give this a shot, maybe you and Calum can talk things out and Ashton can be the peacemaker, like a voice of reason.”
“I’m going to ask for a different set of partners—”
Jessie’s strict tone of your name cuts you off, “You’re being irrational.”
You sigh, knowing your request is going to be ignored by your professor. You can only guess that they were assigned to you since you spent time with Calum earlier in the year, but then again, your professor must have noticed the change.
“Just try this,” Jessie has calmed down, empathy taking over, “if you don’t want to give it another chance, then don’t! But if he apologizes and wants to try again, put your foot down. Tell him where you stand, and that you cannot go through what you went through again.”
You’re starting to wonder if fashion is Jessie’s strong suit, because all this advice and guidance they’ve given you is helping you open your eyes.
“Thank you, Jess.”
“You’re welcome,” you can hear their smile before a faint crash is heard on the line, “shit, I gotta go, baby cousin dropped something.”
“Good luck,” you laugh, prepping the cookie sheet with parchment paper.
“Thanks—you too. I’ll call you tomorrow!”
The call ends and you let out a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived when you see an email notification.
Nope.
Instead of checking the email, you go right for the cookie dough, rolling them into a ball and placing them on the pan. It keeps you occupied for close to twenty minutes, but once they’re in the oven, you’ll have to read the email.
Hey! I’m surprised the three of us are partners, but I’m excited about this project! Hope you guys enjoy the rest of your break, happy holidays!
Ashton signs off with his name and number, along with a smiley face.
As you struggle to compose a response, another email comes through.
I’m surprised too. Happy holidays.
Short and to the point, Calum’s response makes you nervous.
Neither of you properly reached out since that day, opting for avoiding one another in person and leaving the texts untouched. There were times when you wanted to check up on him, noticing his absence in a couple of classes and even on social media. But when you get those thoughts, you go back to the image of him in the park and the pain you felt when you left.
Sooner or later, one of you has to be the bigger person. One of you has to reach out to the other and talk, at least clear things up enough to the point where you can get through the project without problems, without the awkwardness and tension filling the air and ruining an important project.
One thing is for sure: a new year means a new slate. After a hellish couple of months, you make a New Year’s resolution to let go of your crush on Calum and move on.
¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸¸.*☆*¸.*♡*.¸
Calum enjoys the company of his family. Watching the younger kids of the family wander around the Christmas tree, eyeing the present piles never fails to bring a smile to his face. Watching the elders converse and gossip was also enjoyable (just not when they would ask him questions about life and school).
He can’t fully enjoy the festivities with the heavy, lingering thought in his mind, constantly knocking to get his attention. Were you enjoying your break? Were you relaxing? Did you need any help with homework? And most importantly, do you want to be partners with him for the group project?
He wasn’t expecting it, so he completely understands if you ask for different partners. It would hurt him, he admits, but he also does not want any problems occurring that could lead to a bad grade.
After talking with Ashton, Calum sees a bit clearer now. The box under his bed is still there, however, a lot of its contents have been tossed. The remaining items are the items he’s truly attached to.
He’s hoping the bonfire his family throws on New Year’s Eve will give him the chance to throw those items out. Burning them means they will be gone permanently, watching them turn to ashes, almost signaling acceptance and moving on.
Maybe then he’ll grow. He’ll move on, better himself, and fix any relationship he’s broken.
He can only hope you’re willing to accept his apology this time.
#5sos imagines#calum hood one shots#5sos one shots#calum hood imagines#5 seconds of summer imagines#5sos drabbles#5sos blurbs#5 seconds of summer blurbs#5 seconds of summer one shots#5 seconds of summer drabbles#calum hood blurbs
61 notes
·
View notes
Note
1, 2, 9, & 14!
tc hiiii! 🩷 this got long again. i think these are all gonna be really long i just love women
1. One of your favorite female characters?
charlotte fire emblem is my absolute ride or die and i love her more than i love myself. idk if i wanna be her or marry her. probably both.
2. One of your favorites from when you were a child?
i was a princess peach girlie. i loved her sooo much (still do! just a little less obsessed) i had a princess peach costume, plush toy that i brought with me EVERYWHERE, my parents got me a nintendo ds lite for christmas one year and with it came this sick princess peach system wrap and a stylus with her on it, and the only game i had for like the first six months of owning that thing was, very predictably, super princess peach. she raised me is what im saying
9. A female character you started out disliking but came around to?
goldmary fire emblem engage. she is one of my favs ever now, but my first impression of her was horrible. i hated her pose, i hated her facial expression, i thought she was gonna be the worst horny bait for weebs and i’d have to avoid her at all costs. but she actually ended up being the funniest character in the entire game, somehow managing to balance being cringe while also incredibly confident? shes just such a fun character. also i love that she starts in hero so she doesnt have to wear the dumbass generic hero outfit. hers is much cuter <3
14. An interesting familial relationship with female characters?
ive always really liked flora and felicia’s relationship in fates. it’s so… like. they both see the absolute best in eachother, and the worst in themselves, and for flora specifically its eating her up so much inside that she cant compete with felicia’s natural combat talent that there’s this growing resentment she knows is wrong but you just cant help it sometimes. and poor felicia has no idea, she’s just trying to get by, not understanding why flora’s becoming so much colder (lol) and distant until it all comes to the worst peak ever in birthright and in attempt to make up for it flora takes her own life but felicia never truly gets to learn why. or you can go conquest/rev where that doesnt happen, but still. its like these two sisters love eachother more than anything but they have the weight of their worlds on their shoulders and cope with it in two completely different ways and they just. dont communicate that with eachother. in a way i think it’s pretty realistic to siblings but its on a much more dramatic scale and it’s so… rrarrghhh
#asks#actually i still have all of those princess peach things#except the game. because i brought it with me everywhere and little me LOST IT#so i begged my parents for another copy but we got it off some sketchy website and it broke on like the second world#distraught
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive kinda not said shit about the maui fires because everyone's already said everything, but I'm kinda tired of like a million million negative posts just absolutely shitting on idk celebrities donating and stuff. Like i don't give a shit lol. Who the hell cares wtf oprah is doing, being pissed about it won't bring peoples houses and loved ones back.
The government failed us, the world failed us. Everything sacred that native Hawaiians ever held dear has been ruined and trampled on. This is just another tragedy that could've been avoided if hawaiian land was in hawaiian hands. I understand the anger, but its sorta strange and disconcerting to see non hawaiians ranting and raving about celebrity drama and their opinions on donating or how to even view the tragedy. The fire made hawaii's struggle more visible to people, but it's upsetting that people are speaking about how fragile hawaii is only nOW after 200+ years of hardship and bullshit.
It all just makes me feel empty. Thanks so much for talking about rich people donating and whether or not they gave an appropriate amount, thanks for being angry about issues you should've already been mad about. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but our islands are dying and this isn't anything new. this was a tragedy waiting to happen and it was set in motion years and years ago. It's tragic and horrible but it's bEEN tragic and horrible.
The anger and sympathy comes across as crocodile tears. Why did a bunch of people need to literally die before people started talking about hawaii's struggle. Thanks so much for your sympathies but we have been fucked for a long, long time. maui has been fucked for a long long time and so has every other island. Your anger just doesn't matter because we have been angry since we were illegally forced into becoming a part of America. We have been angry ever since the first goddamned boat that landed on our shores. We live on a ticking time bomb and all number of disaster is eventually going to happen. Please don't wait for people to DIE before you start caring.
#also im not saying u cant be sad and angry im just saying you need to care about shit that matters#On a lesser note i'm seeing haole as hell people suddenly embracing their microscopic hawaiian blood and proudly declaring how much they#love being native#how come you didnt love that part of you before huh?#how come only now?#anyways#long post#maui fires#im just so bored of it already like god shut the fuck up and care#you dont need to like scream to the heavens about how good of a person you are because you've reblogged a post#my fam on maui is fine thankfully they just had to evacuate the water in kula is contaminated so they're not having fun with jug water bath
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
1 11 12 13 17 18 19 23 24 29 31 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 49 51 52 62 63 64 65 72 93 88 89 93 94 98. Uh. Feel free to skip some i’m aware this is a lot. i’m curious.
sorry for taking so long, answers are under the cut!! ill try to answer as many as i can lol
@st4rguy
heres the link to the post https://www.tumblr.com/sleepy-kitty-boy/743051716942004224/100-homestuck-asks
oo like... around december this year i think. (when you first got into hs)
11. not counting my fav alpha character, roxy! she's so interesting to me i love her (fav alpha kid)
12. cronus. he is a giant douchebag and i hate him (fav alpha troll)
13. dirk and hal. they're fucked up <3 (fav alpha character overall)
17. jade, but i love them all equally. jade a bit more though. (fav beta kid)
18. sollux!!! no comments he's just great i ove him (fav beta troll)
19. uhhhhdhfhdvh i can't chose sorry 😔 (fav beta character overall)
23. oo this is an interesting one!! i think bro. i want to study him Why is he like that (fav guardian) (edit: i changed my mom i like mom lalonde more now)
24. i don't really know. i don't really dislike any of them in particular (least fav guardian)
29. oo!!! either stylla, tyzias, or tegiri. (fav friendsim character)
31. davesprite or erisolsprite (fav sprite)
33. ohoho this is hard ok. either aradave or solkat i think, although i have also recently been swung onto pale erisol which is interesting! can't forget the classic meowrails too (fav pale ship)
34. vrisrose holy shit they're the kismeses of all time (fav pitch ship)
35. arafef or jaketav :) (fav flush ship)
36. im not sure honestly. i gotta think about auspisticism more man i don't have anything. karkat/jade/karkat is pretty funny though
37. erisol or davekat! (fav vacillating ship)
38. jakehal 🔥🔥 (OTP)
39. jakedirk 👎 (NOTP)
40. sollux and roxy are besties and you cannot convince me otherwise (BROTP)
49/51/52. gonna skip these ones bc i legitimately cannot think of anything? it hasn't been that long since i became a fan so
62. i have!! it was really fun and all the characters are interesting and unique in a way that made me really invested in it. the jade/teal car was so fun but also took me like two days lol (have you played hiveswap?)
63. ive played the first two or three volumes, but haven't had time to get around to the rest. someday... the bits that i played were fun though :) getting locked in ardatas basement was an experience (have you played friendsim?)
64. yeah! it was pretty fun. the darker endings especially were great i fucking CACKLED at the terezi one. there were some great notable moments that ill put in the tags to avoid casual spoilers lol (have you played pesterquest?)
65. no. i might but i don't particularly plan to (have you read the epilogues?)
72. feferi's head fins are axolotl gills!! also i think john can play the ghostbusters theme song on piano. he'd find a way. and roxy loves milo. it becomes her drink of choice on earth c i think :) (character headcanons?)
88. ohoho i have so many. holy shit. just a few: dreaming in binary; space cadet (hello, hello, hello, hello); So It's Going [series]; Love Letters in Digital Ink; things that go bump in the night; 12:56 (favourite fanfics)
89. serfuzzypushover, helmtechnician, missbehaviourOuO, beescake and like. a ton of other people (favourite fanartists)
93. voidbound or therapystuck!! highly recommend both. (fav mspfa)
94. about the only thing i haven't thought of about my trollsona :guaugh: probably two daggers, so 2xdaggerkind? no reason in particular i just think it's cool (what your strife specibus would be)
98. dirk, i think. something something plurality (character you relate to the most)
#asks#long posts#ask game#pesterquest things: the jake good endingwas great. he fucking slayed in those shorts also mspar in a marvus costume is the cutest thing#daves good ending legitimately made me cry im not kidding. holy shit man#space cadet (hello hello hello hello) my beloved... fanfic of all time#anyways. whew that took a while!! it was fun though.#also if anyone wants to ask.. about my trollsona or classpects or whatever... my inbox is open. cough#my posts
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
let the liveblogging begin!
its honestly such a shame to me that i havent actually read this VN yet cus its a total classic.
even if i finish it and feel like it was bad, im still gonna hold that opinion just because it /is/ a classic. (i feel the same way abt Sweet Pool, even if i hated it, its a good thing i read it and i wouldnt go back in time and make myself not read it!)
i avoided this VN for a long time due to having triggering contents that for the life of me i could not find any info regarding where in the novel the scene in particular starts! however the trigger has become less and less of one lately so i think i can stomach seeing it and smashing the skip button when it shows up.
ive always been interested in this VN and has kinda been lurking around it for the longest time so im equally excited and scared lol. i love a good pointlessly edgy Meat Hell environment and a lot of the official works and fan works for this VN are great.
so without further ado- lets dive into the VN that got me anon hate for even acknowledging it existed!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey guys happy holidayss~ i know a rambley lil impromptu post-festivities inebriated post isnt very studyblrcore of me but i hope you guys see me not just as a studyblr but as a cool older cousin type, or if youre older than me, then as an angel sent to heal your inner child with nonserious-serious vibes and nihilistic optimism <3
speaking of new years i wonder if i might end up making this blog a bit more langblr-y next semesterrr, i think im about decent enough in korean to feel okay making more content about/in it. or if im not then im gonna start aiming for it more lol!!
im hoping to make my korean studying more consistent and almost mundane or like low pressure, so that instead of cramming and hyperfocusing on it a lot and forgetting my other classes i can just make studying habits part of my routine and a constant so i can have better focus when i work on other things, if that makes sense idk if i explained that well. but i also reallyyyy love learning korean so the hyperfocusing will still happen lol
i really wanna write more this year both personal journaling and practice/hobby journaling for korean plus my academic/intellectual thoughts?? i never like really write those down and i wonder why not. i also want to be off line more and i feel like getting better at irl communications helps that a lot even if its just personal journaling no one else reads. its a good to remind myself that i can articulate myself if i try lol
ooh and i want to become really good at pilates idk, somethings been awoken in me this last month about it, and its been too long since i had a hobby that was physically active like that so i am restless lol. so ig it doesnt have to be pilates if i get bored and try smth else thats cool too
hm what else. idk i just kinda wanna be more expressive yknow, in minor and major ways. i have a lot a of thoughts on this idk. or maybe its an unmasking journey im on. oh shit no im def on a trauma-reprocessing journey i forgot thatll be a doozy lol. but! im growing so much~ did u know that avoiding discomfort is actually not the point of life? and that sometimes good things and right things that have to or should happen, are uncomfy? and that doesnt mean theyre bad or wrong? did you know pain ends and believing yourself to be able to survive painful things is actually so fucking important? im trying to learn those things lately. that tragedies are still worth telling.
alright. ill shut up now ty for humoring me. whether or not you celebrate things this time of year i hope you are comfy, i hope you find moments of peace and joy however small or private, i hope you reach out to people or the universe or whatever it is you need. ive been really grateful for my experieces w this blog this year <3 rest well and take care everyone!
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
with the thought of Templar surviving to today, What are some headcanons within that universe for them and important historical events they might have witnessed? Would they have fought in certain wars? Avoided them? Met people? Gone on a worldly adventure avoiding other nations to refind themself after the order fell?
okay you sent this ask such a long time ago and I have been ruminating over it for a stupid amount of time. aside from Certain Crossover AUs, I'm still coming up with headcanons and characterization for Templar/Marie-Solène, partly because I have a lot of history I'm trying to learn lol.
the biggest problem is that the history of the Templars is pretty convoluted, and the historiography is a fucking nightmare, so I have trouble deciding what Marie-Solène should be doing in a post-Templar world. should she hate the Catholic Church, given the Pope's role in the dismantling of the Templars? should she hate the French? where does she go? does she go settle down in Portugal with the Templars there? or does she just join the Knights Hospitaller, or one of the other monastic orders? or maybe she just becomes Arthur's accountant since she was basically doing that anyway already. theoretically I could make any one of those work with the history, because the history is pretty complicated. once I figure out the immediate aftermath though, I feel like then I can focus on her role throughout history on a larger scale.
god there's just so much to the history of the Templars. they were the world's first multinational corporation, they laid the foundation for the modern banking system and held up a huge part of Europe's infrastructure (fun fact, the overwhelming majority of Templars were bankers or clerks, not knights), and their dissolution is historically kinda weird because it was so unilateral and wildly unpopular and didn't... really happen outside of France? like Philip IV obviously went after the Templars hard, but really the whole thing was political bullshit meant to get him out of paying back his loans to the Templars and everyone in Europe fucking knew it. like this was not a secret. the Pope ordered general arrests of the Templars, which pretty much all the Catholic monarchs (except Denis I, we love u Denis) felt obligated to carry out, but that's... kinda the extent of it outside France? the vast majority of them were acquitted, usually by ecclesiastical courts, because the Pope didn't think they did anything wrong and clearly none of the bishops et al did either, and the monarchs typically didn't put much effort into extracting guilty confessions. after being acquitted, most Templars would either live out the rest of their lives peacefully on a Church-provided pension, or they'd join other orders (military or non-military), or they'd just... integrate into various European courts because hey, everyone needs a good accountant.
POINT BEING, the history is so open-ended that I could have Marie-Solène do pretty much anything I want. it's easy in Certain Crossover AUs where ancient secret conspiracies and organizations are all the rage, but harder when it's just hetalia. ftr though, my favorite au is the Vampyr crossover where she becomes a vampire hunter because yeah, that'd be 100% in-character.
tldr: girl idk please help
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
I think a lot of the dweebyness came from his early years during his shy, awkward, aww-shucks era. once he got more confident with english, he shifted to a more jock-y vibe
Haha, sorry yall are never gonna convince me that malkin was ever dweeby. Jock is winning the poll btw:
I do, however, totally buy that an american audience mostly comprised of sports fans would look at a teenage boy struggling with a language barrier and immediately label him as 'different' and 'awkward' and 'quiet' and 'dweeby' and a whole bunch of other labels that shoves him into a box and then expect him to stay in that box because they've already decided on what kind of person he is.
We know how our (US) culture works, there's hundreds of american high school movies testifying to the sports/popularity hivemind.
But thats a temporary ostracization. It doesn't feel the same as the more personality-based, more permanent ostracization of the stereotypical 'dweeb' in high school. It's very different to grow up with a bunch of kids in the same neighborhood and watch yourself slowly become excluded and ignored as you get older. that wasnt me - my mother was my bully and from elementary school on she forced me into a form of social normal that made me invisible rather than a target for school bullies. (I dont know if i would reccomend this parenting style though). But i was friends with most of those kids - the ones who nobody would talk to and everybody would make fun of behind their back (we were post c*lumbine so outward bullying was frowned upon). That boy in my square dancing class was one of the few male dweebs, his name was yusef - like joseph but with a "y" and "you" sound. And im not kidding, i dont think the poor kid ever had any friends? Even i couldnt get him to talk, and ive always been pretty good at drawing people out of their shell. Most of the dweebs were girls - colleen, diane, stephanie, alicia - all my friends, all of whom i remember better than the jocks at our school. And absolutely a conscious choice on my part, i remember the point in elementary school when i was walking home with a few girls i knew and they saw colleen and diane a half block ahead of us (within hearing distance), and immediately started pointing out everything that made the two 'dweeb' girls weird and what was wrong with them. And i didnt even say anything i just glared at the girls i was with and ran ahead to walk with colleen and diane instead. And that was that, i knew i had picked sides, i wasnt ever going to join in with the people who make fun of those that are different \o/
aaand now im dealing with a total new form of social ostracization here in LA that feels eerily familiar, but whereas in school you could ignore the social game playing and succeed in spite of them, here suddenly what job you get hangs on who you know. Everybody always used to bug me like 'why are you staying in pittsburgh so long, why havent you tried to make it in the real industry yet' and my answer was always a) i loved my team and they needed me and b) i was art director so had more creative freedom (and my own office) than i could expect to have anywhere else. But i think truthfully in the back of my mind i kinda knew - there were enough hints over the years - what this city would be like and that i would be abysmal at fighting to survive in it.
Anyway im just sayin i dont think malkin - or any of these hockey players - has ever dealt with that level of social ostracization. Its nice watching these guys be nice to other people they consider on their level, and really cute and enjoyable. But for me at least there's always that awareness that if any of them met me, im not the type of person they'd consider worthy of time or attention - probably wouldnt be outright mean, but absolutely would be trying to avoid any lengthly association lol. I think its one of the main differences between being in sports fandom vs books or movies.
ALTHOUGH god, i will never ever forget the day i met one of my biggest childhood heroes - an author about my age 24ish. Who i idolized because she was living my dream - getting to write and create for a living and starting at such a young age. And she was mostly indifferent to me, didnt say much, didnt interact, just signed the book. And i shrugged it off. But then this teenage girl came up, just radiating what we'd call dweebiness. Her hair was a mess, face full of acne, awkward, but loud and really enthusiastic about the book, and desperate for someone to share that enthusiasm. And the author was mean. And cold. To this teenage girl who obviously idolized her and would have killed to have some sign of approval even if it was faked. Anway, instead this teenage girl latched onto me and i had to try to make up for the bitchy author but i knew my approval wasnt worth nearly as much and it broke my heart. I havent read or bought a single one of that author's novels since.
so yeah, its not just jocks, but they have the worse reputation in media.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
in other news my husband bought me a new laptop!!!!!!! :)))))) since my macbook is 10 years old and for the last few years has been almost completely unusable(so much of its software and hardware is fucked up and nothing ive tried has fixed its issues, it cant get its iOS updated anymore, it always has to be plugged in to work, and its so slow it cant run more than one program at a time), it is essentially a paperweight. this new laptop is specifically for gaming and he got it for half off (like its normally about $1k but for some reason electronic stores did black friday deals super early) and its brand new, not refurbished, and not an apple (aka shitty) product. he picked it up for me today while i was sleeping so it was just here when i woke up like it was christmas day
ive been customizing stuff on it and playing around with it to get a feel for it. i havent tried to run any games yet but i downloaded witcher 3 (since its a pretty taxing game i think itll be a good performance test), and it installed in like 10 minutes. if that game runs without issue then i bet if i got an extra stick of 8gb ram i could run freaking anything, even games like metro exodus and cyberpunk. altho my desktop PC is an absolute beast and can run any game--my husband built it for me in 2016 for my birthday and even tho it could run cyberpunk surprisingly well with those specs, he recently replaced the graphics card, mother board, and doubled the ram so it's basically a tank of a gaming PC now--i cant take that thing on trips obviously. which i have to do more often than i would like. i really needed a functioning laptop, so im super excited!!!!
in my opinion i dont deserve such a nice thing at all, or even the PC i have, especially because i havent had an income since 2019. but my husband disagrees lol he fuckin rules, i love him. aside from how much he takes care of my chronically ill ass and puts up with my shit, financially supports me, does countless things for me out of pure selflessness, always wants to make me feel good, im always amazed by the thoughtful way he gives me gifts without needing to ( its never my bday or a holiday ykwim). theyre either total surprises to me that blow me away bc the level of attention and care that went into it, or its practical things that hes like "im getting this thing for you bc you need it and you deserve nice tools instead of settling for crap, idc what you think!!!!!!"
he even bought me a brand new iphone too since my iphone is 7yrs old, cant get updated past iOS 12 meaning i cant use or download a ton of apps i rly need and its constantly running out of space and starting to have battery issues. ive been avoiding getting a new one for a long time cuz ive been clinging to having an audio jack but the phone has become so obsolete software-wise that it is more problem than its worth just to have an audio jack. although the new phone has yet to arrive which is frustrating cuz he ordered it 3 weeks ago and it still says its in the order stage, not even shipped.
regardless i feel so sugared rn lmao. im gonna play witcher 3 on this laptop and see how it runs :3
#so many nice things i dont deserve but he gets for me bc he loves me..... and its not like hes made of money. we were homeless a year ago#he lives on veteran pension and govt grants and scholarships#so these gifts r not insignificant like it would be for a rich person#he just wants the best for me bc he loves me uwu#isnt that what love is tho--wanting the world for ur partner#no matter the cost#when hes done w school and gets a job hes like extremely insistent on buying me a new car n buying us a house#since my dad has my car and hes not taking care of it at all i had to beg him to get the oil changed last time i visited him:(#and i rly love my car so it hurts seeing it get neglected and fall into disrepair....#dear god im writing an essay in these tags
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi just wanna say thank u so much for this blog. i dont even remember when i started following it, maybe a year or two or three ago? but it was the first ever like, genuine unabashed positivity account on the internet i started engaging with.
i used to loathe myself for years. i used to beat myself up for everything and criticize myself and assume everyone was holding me to this impeccable yet undefined social standard that was always barely out of reach. i used to isolate myself and avoid everything and i didn't really care for life. i thought self affirmations were stupid and self love was uncomfortable, weird, and i relied on every form of external validation to feel good about myself. i didnt think i needed friends and i did everything to avoid feeling any hurt.
i started trying out this thing of unabashed self kindness earlier this year and it's been incredibly foreign, but also i have never felt more alive since i was an actual child. and i think like, majority of the words that have kept me afloat have been from posts on this blog.
im at a point now where ive like, experienced so much joy that my brain's sort of reared its head and started beating me up again when there's a chance i'll become depressed again. which is not fun but also im really really glad i have things to lose in this world now. if that makes sense lol
thank u sm for being a wodnerful ray of positivity in this world and i wish u the absolute best. 💖💖💖
Hello Anon!
Firstly, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to see this! (I need to use tumblr desktop more, mobile always seems to hide ask notifs from me!)
I honestly can't find words to tell you how happy and honoured it makes me to know that this blog and my words have helped you in being kinder to yourself and finding more joy in the world.
Everything you said, about not believing in positivity posts and isolating yourself and holding yourself to an impossible standard also resonates so deeply with me. Those are all things I found really really difficult (and still sometimes do!) and are the reasons I started this blog in the first place! I admired the positivity community here a lot and wanted to have somewhere to keep the posts that resonated with me in one place. As a way of reminding myself that there is so much joy and beauty in the world if you look for it, but also acknowledging that that can be so difficult when you're struggling with mental illness and the fact you are trying is so, so important. This blog is here for everyone, always, but it started as a thing for myself when I was finding it hardest to find the parts I love in the world! I am so happy to hear that it's also helped to achieve the same thing for you as well. If there's one thing I want to do with my life it's to help people in ways I wish I could've been helped myself and to remind people (and myself!) that there is wonderful things here, even it's sometimes hard to see.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been finding it harder again, but I am sending you so much love and positivity and I hope you can continue to be kind and patient with yourself as you have been and know that you deserve to do the kind things that you do for yourself.
I am sending you all my love and thank you so much for this ask <33
#once again i can't tell you how greatful I am for this message anon thank you <33#anon#opening letters
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
feel free to ignore this if you want but I'd be really interested to hear what it is about radiation that makes it so fascinating to you & why you feel compelled to work with it? as someone with pretty bad health anxiety where any risk of cancer is a trigger I just can't wrap my head around it lol
hi!!! okay sorry i have a cold right now so im kind of out of it but. radiation is SO interesting to me because it is something that has an aspect of danger to it, but also has the potential to do a LOT of good as well. fusion energy is likely to take off at some point, but we haven't even gotten it to truly Work yet, and its going to take years and years and years and years to get it to a commercial scale that can begin to take over the very pressing threat of the coal industry.
nuclear, on the other hand, is something we know how to do. we've known how to do it for a while, and many of the mistakes and accidents that have occurred were because shortcuts were taken to avoid spending more money on critical safety measures and proper employee training. these days we have even safer technologies and i believe workers and government agencies are a lot more cautious now that we know what can go wrong. there's also a HUGE medical sector of nuclear - although it's not my main interest, i'm also working to help create an element in a nuclear reactor (previously only made in particle accelerators) that is extremely rare but has shown amazing results in its ability to straight up fucking cure cancer. unfortunately, a lot of the caution as mentioned above has turned to extreme levels of fear to the point most people freak out as soon as nuclear anything is mentioned.
this becomes a problem because. and im sorry i dont have the source on me rn ill grab it later but literally the coal industry puts out radiation and has a measurable impact on increased cancer levels in the US than the nuclear industry even comes close to. coal and fossil fuels are absolutely decimating our planet at a breakneck speed. ive taken classes on current air pollution and its expectations in the future that left me more panicked than anything ive read on individual nuclear accidents. we HAVE the technology to have nuclear used on a mass scale in the US (many other countries do) and there are thousands of scientists all over the country working to make it even safer and to solve the problem of long term nuclear waste management(which my research group is doing!)
also, working with radiation is usually....pretty safe! people generally do not want to get highly irradiated. i love radiation but that doesn't mean i want to get blasted by it, or risk huge chances of getting blasted by it. i work at a research reactor and i usually have to wear 2-3 dosimeters at all times in there, and get in trouble whenever im not. there are alarms stationed everywhere for the slightest increase in radiation, and we work with extreme amounts of caution. we recently had what we considered a Huge Mistake where a sample we were given to irradiate came out much hotter than we expected and everyone got dosed higher than usual. the highest dose someone got was 25 millirem. you need 10,000 millirem to get a 0.8% increase in cancer. this was our major scare. on an average day of work my dosimeter reads a dose of.....0.0 mrem. maybe 0.01 if it was in a high field. our supervisor has been working with radiation since he was 19 and is now close to 90 and one of the healthiest elderly people i know, and bro has been exposed to multiple curies in one go and came out fine.
pretty much, yes. there is a risk in what i am doing. i cant look anybody in the eyes and say there is an absolute 0% chance of me getting sick or injured with this work but i am far too fascinated by the...."magic" of radiation, as well as the vast amounts of good it can do for humanity, to let that stop me. many jobs have MUCH more dangerous risks, and higher rates of cancer, than a modern radiation worker.
10 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
dua06
Dua´lar Kalıcıdır
thebeliever
aleey emme.
scientiarum
vincit qui se vincit
tastyykpop
ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡
shopaz
Try a thousand times