#its not looking good for me guys im not gonna survive this shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queen-of-scissors · 1 year

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I saw your "god of the multiverse" thing where reader tells them abt the other games theyve played and i just-- JFJSJFJEBOFJSNFEOFN I AM JUMPING SO HARD ON THIS HYPE TRAIN--

I only have two words for you.

Among. Us.

You're welcome.

BUT LIKE FR FR THO-- HOW WOULD THEY REACT?? Since the entire thing is literally cooperate or die for crewmate, or Eat Hot Chip And Lie / Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss for imp

And like, imagine them being named Dolos or Apate as a new epithet if they enjoy lying as crewmate to stir the pot or just regular lying as imp (dolos was the spirit of trickery, apate was the personification of deceit-- you can make either kaeya, albedo, ruebedo or dain give the title since theyre all from khanriah)

Or like-- they could also be rlly uncomfy with being imp and just being a model crewmate and they could be given the epithet Eleos or Anteros because of it

Just-- THSKFJSKDJWJ soooo many possibilities for reader/creator

And like-- oh my gOD IMAGINE THEM TRYING TO MAKE THE ACOLYTES PLAY IT AHAHAHA

The murder?? Theres gonna be a LOT

Sorry if there was a lot, i just rlly enjoy what you've written so far!! Have a nice day :))

GOOD SHİT GOOD SHİT THATS SUM GOOD SHİT RİGHT THERE!!!!

First, explaing the game.

Everyones reactions will be diffrent about it, no matter how you explain it;

The scared ones

Noelle, Diluc (brother flashbacks),Barbara, Bennett, Razor (lupical PROTEC lupical!! NO KİLL), sucrose, Jean, Yelan (you... Kill your friends??)

The impressed ones

Kaeya, Childe, Venti, Hu Tao, Yanfei (sees it as a usefull skill), zhongli (MF is impressed by anything u do smh), Lisa, Ei, Yae miko

The confused ones (what why would you?)

Ganyu, Xiao, Diluc, İtto (doesn't even understand the rules), kuki shinobu, Kazuha

"İ WANNA TRY!!! oh wait does this count as blasphemy-"

Childe, Venti, Albedo, KLEE (actually thinks it like a game), Yelan (ok since you said its not actually killing them i wanna try), İTTO, Nahida (knows its a game), Heizou

Now if we were the imposter you are right. İt doesnt matter if you are bad at it, they are going to call you as some god that has been assosiated with trickery.

İ wrote a story about it. But didn't make the reader as imposter because no one wouldn't dare to say you are an imposter. Even as a joke

ESPECİALLY if it was a traitor!AU. Tough im not sure that they would even play if that were the case

-----------------------

İ made the story of how you got the title a bit long, i hope you like it :)

More under the cut!

______________________________________

"Have you guys ever played 'vampire'?"

Your voice echoed in the throne room, they looked confused, they weren't expecting your answer to be another question.

You were bored out of your mind. Watching people come and go in the room just for them to ask for your guidance about daily stuff was a pain, both phsicaly and emotionaly. So you opened your phone to get a bit of a downtime while no one was there to ask for your divine wisdom.

"Forgive my rudeness, Your highness. But... What does that have to do with it?" Said Albedo, who got there for your divine wisdom.

"You asked what i was doing in my device, so in order for me to answer, you must for answer my question."

"Vampires..." He mumbled "aren't those imaginary, humanoid monsters that drink blood to survive?"

"Ah, ok. i see that you never played."

"Play what exactly?"

"So its a game about a group of villagers trying to find a vampire/werewolf among them.

You choose one host, and that person controlls the whole game, The other players all close their eyes and the host walks among them, and picks a vampire.

Each night, the vampire chosses someone to kill and that person is eleminated, and each day, the other players try to find the vampire and kill them.

İf they choose the wrong person that person is also eliminated."

Acolytes look at eachother, that sounds so fun?!(deffinetly not the kill eachother without killing eachother one is the reason not at aaaallll)

"Ohh, İ see," Kaeya said, impressed "so this game also tests you ability to not get caught and lie, as well as finding lies. This is interesting!"

"...turnes out, you might have a chance after all, since the creator favors imposters and all." Diluc half whispered to him.

Lets pretend we didn't hear him for his sake.

"Yeah so on my phone im playing it but this version is harder."

"OHHH i wanna try!" Klee said exitedly!

Jean stoped her "Klee, the creators device is a holy one, so we cant just ask them to give it to us for our desires."

"Actually i dont mind! Does anyone else wanna play?"

The smartest yandere ones were having a light yagami moment ("if i agree to play they might think im a murderer and discard me but if i don't play they will think im avoiding these types of games because im a murderer myself and i would get discarded again. Oh i know, i will wait someone to take the bait and say 'of everyone is playing then i will too' then no one will suspect me hahahahHAHAHA İTS ALL ACORDİNG TO PLAN-)

"İm... Sorry your Grace but... İ think i will just watch." The depressed Yaksha said, he hates to dissapoint you but he doesnt want to kill people that he concidered friends, even if its fake.

Zhongli looked at you and his gaze softened.

"İ shall join if Your highness would join as well."

"But of course!!" There is no way you're going to miss THİS OPPORTUNİTY.

_____________________________

The game.

This isn't the game where you taught them how to play. (Which... Took like.... 3 whole days. İm not writing that)

Yae and Venti (a dangerous duo smh) asked for your permision to make the event prised. You agreed, this might make things more fun! They didn't told you what it was though.

PLAYERS: ChildE, Bombombaku (Klee), windbornbard (Venti), foxlady (Yae miko), Rockhead (zhongli(venti messed it up)), (your choise of player name), COOLGUY (itto), Al Haitham, Ei, Dreamy (Nahida)

İt started as you being a crewmate. The god team were immediatly on your side, attempting to keep an eye on you. But as soon as you shot them an angry glare from across the room, they left you alone.

you were a bit worried that the imposter was going to get too scared and not kill you for the whole game just because you are the creator, and having the gods in Real life be at your Side even in the game might scare them even more.

You watched as rockhead leave the caffeteria, Ei going to the opposite direction from him. But windbornbard did not move at all. Not even an inch.

You made your character walk up to him, wondering if he is having connection problems, just as you tried to get him to move, he killed you and ran away.

..... That smart mother fu-

Honestly, you weren't mad at all, (just a bit if you game rage alot like me) because this could help to ease tention in the first few rounds.

You followed windbornbard a little, wondering if he is going to get another kill. You both passed the boiler room and through security camera room. Seeing other players and fake tasking.

DEAD BODY FOUND

Your toughts were cut short as they discovered COOLGUY's body.

Windbornbard gasped "the creator is dead?!"

Your throne room was filled with whispers, and angry mumbling, completely forgetting that COOLGUY is also dead (poor itto).

"Who would dare such a thing?! İ tought the gods were going to be at their Side the whole game!" ChildE said panicing, as if you actually got killed.

Al haitham picked on quickly, "if there was an agreement on protecting them. That can only mean that one of the archons is the traitor."

"Maybe, both of the imposters are gods?" Foxlady spoke in her teasing voice, profably to see Ei's reaction. "After all, theres only one way that they can get away with this, trap them and leave no witnesses behind."

"What you are saying is unlikely," Dreamy objected. "if that were the case, one of the archons would be dead as well, as all of us promised to protect them, one of us would have to witness the murder and the second imposter would kill the other god."

"Uhhhh... Guys?? İm also dead??? HELLO???"

Rockhead cutted in. "Sadly, we cant make any assumptions on who killed our creator, since we all parted ways to do our tasks by ourselves when..." He trailed off in the end, Coughing to hide his emberrasment, he didnt want to admit that he got scared.

"Then im voting to skip the vote." Windbornbard said. Someone find this man, you can't deal with his smug face if he wins!!

And thus, everyone skiped the meeting an no one got voted out.

-------

Next round you decided to do your tasks. That might help the crew a bit. While you go through the corridors you noticed Al haitham and windbornbard is going to somewhere together, and its not the first time you caught them walking Side by side. You're not sure if Al haitham got suspicious of venti or he is an imposter as well. Either way its an interesting duo. Maybe you should check the cameras.

You went to security room and looked through.

Blockhead was standing in the corridor, watchin Ei from a distance.

ChildE was avoiding everyone, immideatly leaving if the room has a player inside, he is taking it so seriously, he is profably not an imposter, you thought.

Klee was getting in and out of the rooms, Following random people and waiting just besides the door. İt suspicious but it could be that she is just exited to play.

You closed the security camera window, and looked across the real world room instead.

İtto placed the phone you gave him to his side and crossed his arms, pouting because he was the first one to die. Trying to look at other peoples phones from where he stood, to find the other imposter.

You could see the sweats forming at zhongli's forehead. He was SUPER concentrated. Why was he, amongst all of the other acolytes, being so serious about it anyway?

You looked at the traitor, who realised you were looking at him and smiled at you. You smiled back, at least one of them is having fun!

Suddenly his smile grew bigger and went back to his phone. Uh-oh he has an idea doesnt he.

EMERGENCY MEETİNG

"AL HAİTAM STOP FOLLOWİNG ME" he partly screamed.

"You misunderstand me, i was just following to make sure you are not a traitor."

"Oh realy?! Then explain why while we were in the room to the east, the doors were locked and you started to chase me?"

"...that did not happen."

Foxlady cutted in "now that you mention it, i do remember that one of the rooms that had my tasks was blocked by a door."

"İM VOTİNG AL HAİTHAM" windbornbard said. İts all going acording to plan hehehehehe. Some other started to back him up as well.

"Wait."

Everyone in the room turned to Blockhead.

"İ understand that all the evidence seems to be targeting hım. But i know my bard friend here for quite long, i can tell when he is being serious." He looked at windbornbard, "could it be that you are trying to blame Al Haitham for your crimes against our creator?"

"You seem to have quite the imagination old friend" he said calmly, imitiating him "it is as you say, we've known eachother for a few thousand years after all. So i too, can read your emotions."

Venti once again turned to you "your highness said so themselves, it is just a game afterall, so theres no need for me to treat it as a war between rivals. Of course im not in my serious mood."

He turned back to him "now thats out of the way, i must ask, why did you gets so offensive and tried to protect Al Haitham? Kind of... What was the world? SUS? don't you think?"

You almost burst out laughing, it was so funny hearing it from him, he sounded like a grandpa who is learning internet lingo, despite his youmg voice.

"Are you suggesting that, i am the one who killed the creator?"

"Now i didn't say that, you could be the one that killed 'COOLGUY', since you have strick policies when it comes to the creator."

They glared at eachother while Ei voiced her opinion. "What bard sais sounds very belivable, while mr Zhongli also made a convincing point. İ suggest that we vote Al Haitham, and if he does turn out to be an imposter, we can figure out from there."

"Well, it seems i can't get myself out of this one even if i try. İt was a very fun game." Haitham sighed. He accepted defeat, just like that? This isn't like him.

"İ expected for you to fight a bit more over this, not gonna lie"

"İ was more interested in the gameplay, rather than the prize itself. So being able to see the working mechanics was enough for me."

"Ah i see, maybe i can teach you sometime?" You asked innocently, not caring of the angry glares that turned to him as soon as you said that.

"İ belive the academia would bother us as soon as we got out, so that wouldnt be productive." He crossed his arms, knowing that this knowladge could profably get him killed. "But i do appriciate the tought, thank you, your highness"

Everyone hold their breath as the result was written in the stars.

AL HAİTHAM WAS THE İMPOSTER

-------------

Everyone, including the ghosts stayed in the positions they spawned in. What now? Do they do an emergency meeting again and vote zhongli off? But is this right to assume right away? Should they wait a bit longer for evidence?

Before the meeting cooldown ends, everyone finally made up their mind. They all went back to their tasks.

You almost finished all of them, but the bar was only half full. Acolytes are too busy trying to find the last imposter that everyone seem to forget doing tasks causes instant win.

This round was worse, the lights go out, random doors closing and opening, causing panic among people, but venti was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he is doing this because he paniced, He has to kill 6 players all by himself afterall.

EMERGENCY MEETİNG

Ei, Klee and Dreamy died

"hOLY shit- 3 people died?!" İtto screamed.

"This can only mean one thing.." childE said, he was the one that pressed the meeting button. "Mr. Zhongli, care to explain?"

Everyone in the room looked at both of them

"İm not sure what you mean, Childe, would you be as kind as to enlighten me?" He said calmly, but it was obvious that he was getting irritated.

"The whole round, the rooms were randomly opening and closing. İ can tell that was a trap to create confusion, windbornbard has experianced the same thing. Only the smart ones that are experianced with faking their identities can think of this trick."

Oh this was a personal attack-

"İ agree with your opinion, however, i suggest that you choose the next words carefully, afterall, there is only 3 players left. İf we happen to fail finding the imposter now. We might not win this game."

Foxlady stoped both of them, realising this conversation contains topics from Real life"now now, lets not fight, even though the prize is grand, it is just a game after all."

Yeah what is the prize anyway?

She added "But i must say, what you said is quite right, only the ones that has an experiance to fake their identities can in fact create confusion skillfully"

"See? She agrees with me-"

"Hey now, have some manners. Don't you know that it's rude to interrupt while a lady is speaking?" She teased. ChildE cursed himself for being overly exited while she continued;

"However, the reasoning for you to claim blockhead- ah i meant Mr Zhongli- is an imposter is not realy a strong one. Since everyone in this room have experianced acting as another person."

Venti jumped in "yeah, aren't YOU the one that uses a fake identity in the first place? Harbinger of shneznaya?"

"How curious," zhongli added "blaming people is exactly what the imposter would do. İf i hadn't known better, i would have said that you are the imposter that is trying to cover up."

Yae raised a Brow "hmm? Do you have something else to say?"

"Not that it matters of course, but i have noticed that my usually talkative friend seem to be rather silent." He eyed Venti "And we have accused hım for being an imposter before."

"İm just watching, as you guys make this whole game about yourselves. İ have been having fun with my tasks!"

"Oh realy?" Yae teased, "what was the last task that you have done?"

"İ... Uh... The wires?"

"Which ones?"

"İn the.... Upper part of the ship."

"İs there even wires on there?"

"Yes there is! İ meant the caffeteria!"

"You were having fun with matching colors? My aren't you childish~"

"İ uhh well- you asked me the last task i've done! Not my favorite one!"

"Why are you stuttering bard?" Zhongli pressed on.

"You never got questioned by the shrine Maiden?! She is scary" he whispered

"Of course not, unlike you, i am not someone that causes trouble."

"OH come on! Why are you all mean to me all of a sudden?!"

"Yeah im voting him." Said childE.

"İm only voting for you because you told me im scary and that hurt my feelings" she laughed.

"Well, Barbatos, any last words?"

"İ was sooo close, thats not fair ;;"

WİNDBORNBARD WAS THE İMPOSTER.

Crewmates win!!

__________________________

Childe stoped you from leaving. "Your highness, do you have a moment?"

"İ guess? What is it?"

"Since this competition doesnt realy have öne winner. How do we know who won?"

"Zhongli, Yae miko and you won, because all of you survived untill the end."

"....does that mean you will go on a date with all of us..?"

"Wait what-? A date??"

"Fox lady said that the winner is going to have a date with you."

"İ DİDN'T KNOW THAT????"

"THEY DİDNT TOLD YOU?!"

_____________

The whole tevat was mourning their loss. The day you were killed by the hands of someone they knew you held dear, there were offerings to your shrine, silent appologies were made.

The weather was rainy, as the world cried with your followers.

This is the scene you were greated with as you walked towards the shrine that made for you, after giving the winner the... Prize...

"Uhh guys.. im not dead?"

"Sometimes we can still hear their voice..."

Your acolytes was eternaly happy for your short visit ("guys i didn't leave-"). You never died. Anyone could still feel your presence when they looked at the sky, to the infinity.

You are the

İnfinity.

The undying one...

"Oh your Grace welcome how have you been? :D"

"The game was fun and all, but do you guys have to make everything dramatic?"

"Speaking of the game, were you the one that found the imposter? But got killed because of it? "

"Man i wish. Maybe next time i won't die immediatly!"

______

#genshin sagau #sagau #sagau brainrot #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin isekai #genshin impact venti #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #genshin cult au #genshin imagines #among us

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luvsae · 8 months

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kang saebyeok as your guitarist girlfriend | bullet point story [1] . . ♡

- kang saebyeok x gn!reader

note: this is just the intro so she isn't your girlfriend yet

- you actually met saebyeok at a show that she was playing at a bar

- the whole band was good but you couldn't keep your eyes off of her

- she noticed at one point and made eye contact with you, sending a cheeky smile your way

- you couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach - she was really pretty

- she had on a tux, but the blazer was off, leaving her with a messy bow tie and a white shirt - it was perfect

- after the show you stayed for a bit to have one more drink and hopefully see the guitarist (who you now knew as saebyeok since the whole band introduced themselves)

- as you took a sip of your drink, the seat beside you was suddenly filled

- looking over, you noticed saebyeok

- you almost spit out your drink because of how beautiful she was

- she noticed your stare and laughed. "hi"

- "hi," you replied back. "the show was really good"

- she grinned, taking a sip of her drink. "thank you. were you staying after the show just for me?" saebyeok teased

- you felt your cheeks heat up, not knowing what to say at first. "well, i did want to see you, but i didn't expect for you to sit next to me"

- saebyeok chuckled to herself before taking a napkin and a pen, then writing down her phone number

- "call me when you get home, okay?"

- you practically ran home after saebyeok gave you her number

- after waiting a bit, you decided to text her

you: hey its y/n :)

- a few minutes later, she texted you back

saebyeok: hey there, didn't think you'd text me haha

y/n: how could i not? you're really interesting

saebyeok: ohhhh you're interested in me?? ;)

- you couldn't help but smile like an idiot - why was this girl so interesting to you?

saebyeok: we should hangout soon. let's go to a coffee shop

y/n: im down

- the two of you actually followed through with the plans of going out, and today happened to be the day

- you changed your outfit three times before coming to a decision - it wasn't too casual, but not too fancy

- suddenly you heard a knock at your door. shit she was here a bit earlier than expected

- rushing over to the door, you opened it and saw saebyeok. she was in cargo pants and a loose top - she was beautiful

- "hey," you smiled sheepishly. "come in"

- she entered your home. "sorry im here a bit early. there's gonna be traffic soon so i thought that i should come here a bit earlier"

- "that's okay," you nodded. "i just need to get my bag and then we can go"

- as you went to get your bag you couldn't help but smile to yourself. you were so excited !!

- the two of you eventually left and drove over to the coffee shop. you learned some things about the girl

- she was the same age as you, her favorite color is blue, she's been playing guitar for a few years now

- you also told her some facts about yourself, it was nice

- the both of you talked and had some coffee, laughing at all the stupid and cheesy jokes that saebyeok told you

- she complimented you a few times too, and you couldn't help but blush because of that

- "you're really pretty" "you really light up the room" "your laugh is pretty too"

- the hangout didn't end after that because the two of you then went to the pet store

- you practically dragged saebyeok over to the section where the cats were, squealing over the little animals

- "this one is so cute i want to adopt them all"

- "that would be a lot of cat food"

- "but it's worth it!"

- saebyeok was more interested in the birds and frogs - she thought they were cool

- "these little guys would be great companions, don't you think?" "they are really cute. netflix frog!"

- "you're adorable"

- after that you would go to a video game store (this was for saebyeok as she played games on her days off)

- "what games do you like?" you asked her

- "i like survival games. i played one recently called the forest, you should play it with me one day"

- "that would be fun"

- saebyeok ended up buying a copy of minecraft for one of her consoles after you said you played that game often

- the day would soon end and saebyeok would bring you home. she made you stay a bit longer because the sunset was nice (others would argue she just wanted to spend more time with you)

- you would take a picture of the sunset before turning to saebyeok. "we should take a picture in front of the sunset, what do you say?"

- "of course"

- the two of you would huddle close and take a picture - saebyeok was stunning as she was drawn out by the sunlight

- saebyeok would walk you to your door and smile at you. "did you have fun?"

- "that was the most fun ive had in a while, thank you"

- "would you wanna do it again?" she asked, putting her hands in her pockets

- "if you have ideas on where to go, and if you plan to get me that cat, then yes" you teased

- she grinned and nodded. "alright, y/n. i don't know if i can get you that cat, though"

- you rolled your eyes playfully. "i'll see you again soon, saebyeok. text me when you get home"

- "will do"

- and with that, your first hangout with saebyeok was done

- you couldn't help but feel giddy and excited over spending the whole day with her

- you couldn't wait until your next adventure

#kang sae byeok #saebyeok fluff #saebyeok x reader #fanfic #fluff stuff #fluff scenario #squid game #saebyeok imagines #bullet point fic #headcanons

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bee-birb · 3 months

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compiled my thoughts whilst watching sonic prime s3, shes a doozy

WATCHING IT

he ate shit again :3

AHHHH THEY HELD HANDS (for half a second to propel forward) BUT STILL

shadow COUGHING??? he can get HURT??? nah he just fell

HE ATE SHIT AGAIN I LOVE THIS SONIC

🎶there goes hawaii, there-ere goes hawaii🎵 🎵there goes hawaii, the island is gone🎶

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY IS GORGEOUS

THE LITTLE DETAILS AHHHH LIKE TEHIR EYES MOVING AND EARS AND SHADOWS CHEST FUR MOVES WHEN HE BREATHES AHHHH SO GOOD

BIRDIE GO BRRRR

times sonic has eaten shit this season: 4

nine: “i hate chili dogs!” sonic: dramatic and wounded gasp

I need to get this off my chest why does sonic slap his ass as a taunt ive seen it in prime and ive seen in in x, this is a recurring theme and i am wtfing at it, why does sonic have a thing for smackin his ass as a taunt? idk but its fuckin hilarious, your ass is not that juicy it is not tempting, save the ass slapping for the bedroom you blue gumball son of a bitch, Sonic you have flat ass syndrome stop

DYING ONE OF THE BIGS JUST GOT SPINDASHED AND LOST HIS MEMORY AND STARTED TALKING BRITISH THIS WAS NEVER RESOLVED WHAT THE FUCK, DAMNIT NOW I HAVE TO HATE PIRATE BIG CUZ HES FUCKIN BRITISH

GIANT BIG HAHAHAHAHA GIANT BIG ROBOT SOBS HES JUST A GUY HE DOESNT DESERVE TO BE MADE A ROBOT DOUBLE WHO SHITS FROGGIE NUKES

where the FUCK is sonics boyfriend you cant hide in the crater the entire climax battle dumbass getchyo gay striped glutes out here and save you bf

bro got hit with a bomb and SURVIVED

SCREAMS AT THE GAY IDIOTS IN THE CREVICE DOING GAY SHIT LIKE SMASHING EACH OTHER GAYYYY

LMAO SHADOW ACTUALLY SMILED, granted, he was talking about “smashing hordes of sonics” (probably about destroying them but it was offcamera so we’ll never know) IT WAS SO CUTE

i also need 4 rocks, 80 ft of vine, and a time machine

times sonic has eaten shit this season: 6

the gang is not impressed by sonics bf

there goes hawaii, there-there goes hawaii, there goes hawaii, the island is gone pt 2

gonna draw this stupidhead 🫶

THE LIL NODS I AM SCREAMING

me when 6 identical copies of me attack my boyfriend (its kinda hot)

"AAAAAHHAAAHHAAAA! aaaahhhaaaahhh! splat."

YUHHH STEP ON YOUR BOYFRIEND AGAIN thats like what the 4th time???

renegade knux makes the best faces ngl like his expressions are top tier

shadow has not been onscreen in 10 minutes give me more of the edgy swifty, THE KING HAS RETURNED

SHADOW NODDING WHEN SONIC SACRIFICES HIMSELF HE KNOWS AHHHHH THE FUCKING NODS I AM SCREAMING THEY ARE COMMUNICATING WITHOUT WORDS LOSING MY MARBLES GOING KOOKY SCREAMING

OMGOMGOMG WHEN SONIC IS SAYING HOW HES GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND HE SAYS "If I do this" AND SHADOWS FISTS TIGHTEN HE CARES IM NOT CRAZY BUT IM SURE NOT NORMAL

CRYING he still has a smile as hes going to fucking DIE AHHHHH SCREAMING

ahhh the gateways are the shape of the shards

HE FUCKING SMILES AS HES ABOUT TO GET THE LIFE SUCKED OUT OF HIM HIS LITERAL GLUE HOLDING HIS ATOMS TOGETHER WILL BE SLURPED LIKE SPAGHETTI THROUGH A STRAW AND THIS INSUFFERABLE SELF SACRIFICING IDIOT IS SMILING IM GOING TO COMMIT SEVERAL WAR CRIMES

HIS FISTS TIGHTEN AGAIN WHEN THE MACHINE TURNS ON IM LOSING MY GRIP ON REALITY

AHHHHHHHHH THE FUCKING DROOP THE REACH SCREAMS IN AGONY THE HOPE IN HIS EYES AND HOW HE REACHES UP TO HELP- HE DROPS IT HIS EARS DROOP HES SAD AND LOSES LIGHT AND HIS EYES OH HIS EYES SPEAK MULTITUDES

old man soccer

HE STAYS BEHIND WHILE THE RESISTANCE FIGHTS THE CC SO HE CAN MAKE SURE SONIC DOESNT EAT SHIT WHILE HES BREAKING APART AT THE SEAMS

gay ass hand on hip side lean, fucking queer

OMGGGGG RUSTY KEPT THE GRIM ROSE HAMMER CACKLES SHE WILL BECOME AN EVEN BETTER WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

HIS FISTSSSSS THEY CLENCH WHEN SONIC IS LIKE DYING ON THE SHIPPPP

hA the sisters rose are FAILING now his bf gets to save his blue gumball ass

HE LOOKS SO SAD WHEN SONIC FAINTS GEDGIYFVJITWSGHIFE

BRO IS FUCKING TRANSPARENT SIR WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO BE SO LOW OPACITY YOUR ATOMS ARE SLINGING AWAY FROM YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS FASTER THAN IF YOU WERE RADON YOU SELF DESTRUCTIVE IMBECILE

THE FUCKING NODS I CANTTTTTT

SONIC SMILES HES SO HAPPY TO SEE SHADS ON THE PRISM

lol rock gone get rekt eggbreath

HE DOES LITTKE EAR WIGGLES AHHH SO CUTE

you have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch. you have done nothing but destroy my life, i hope you both die.

SCREAMS IT IS BEAUTIFUL EXCELLENT ENDING 10/10 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHADOW GO WITH THE THING IDC ITS BEAUTIFUL CRYING WHERES MY FANFIC

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twocrabcake · 8 months

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alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.

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curltee · 6 months

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(my bros commentary while watching THC1 )

"Are those his dogs? Hes crying cuz its badly photoshopped"

"Crying while carrying a whole ass gun"

"Bitch thats the point of a present"

"Whats this suspicious nightclub theyre going to."

"Does she know how phones work?

"Shes the dumb bitch in this group"

"Straight up, the drama team needs to learn how to take phone calls like he does. Fake phone calls"

"Um whys he looking like that when he injects her?"

"The sexual tension of this scene right now...wild. Pls tell me rn that this is secretly a torture porn???"

"Ofcourse hes gonna take it personally you twig"

"He can be a gardener"

"What a gentlemen, he even carries him"

"Dang he got a screamer here. And i thought those two girls were bad enough"

"Im sorry i just cant get over the shape of his fucking head"

"Hes like attractive, but in a creepy way"

"jenny gives me the mom come pick me up im scared deal"

"Can we appreciate that he has the decency to not hit the women. Yeah straight up he just awakens them so calmly. with the girls its like "hi besutiful goodmorning!" Then just fucking smack the guy on the face

"Id rather let him wake me up by smacking me than creepily stroke my hair like that"

"Why not hit that glass with your butt?"

"Why is he apologizing for not shooting her?"

"Oh my god shes really is the dumbest bitch alive. I thought jenny was but no"

"Fuck both jenny and the asian dude bitch runnn"

I could watch somebodys head cut off but not a butt removal"

"Okay but why the guy who screams alot placed at the front ???"

"Dang should have put jenny at the front to get a head action. unless hes into dudes"

"Do you think he has sex with it? If so which end would he prefer more? Or do you think he sees it as innocent but creepy way? Like this is my centipede child i love you"

"If he gives them painkillers does he only have the choose one but triple the amount of painkillers?"

Poor girls, one is literally eating her friends ass...forever"

"Okay so..nazi european madman. kamikaze shithole..What racial slur would be next"

"His chicken noise reminds me of squilliam"

"Is he dying? Oh shitting my bad."

"Did he atleast take their tongues out? or do they taste everything? Thats jsut nasty "

"OHH NIPPLE HELL YEAH"

"These dudes are definitly not trained to be cops. They just claimed they are on a random day "

"Why do they dressed like our uncles?"

"MAKE HIM FALL MAKE HIM FALL WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE HIM LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT".

"Out of all stairs why the spiral ones"

"A wild human centipede 🎶 got chased by a doctor 🎶 will the centipede make it🎶 or get eaten alive 🎶 find out in our next episode of planet earth"

"Oh yeah hes licking it. thats gross"

"He really just crawled themselves into a room with no plan. its going good so far"

"So did she just assume the glass was still broken. Does she have no concept of time. Probably not "

"The amount of grunts they had to record for this"

"Thats a deep cut"

*Heiter got shot* "Thats satisfying"

"Annnnd shes dead. or passed out atleast. Oh no shes really dead"

"I swear they hold eachothers hands very much"

"Oh they shot this scene really well. Like the angle and everything. Props to her can translate dread into her eyes. This is makes me sad."

"Imagine being in the middle and your counterparts are fucking dead. Thats gonna be her motto is she survives this"

#Hes at gunpoint while watching lmao #Hes so random for this DJDNDN #Makes it even funnier than it already was #the human centipede #human centipede

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weirdcat1213 · 9 months

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YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #IM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND TURMOIL #MY BABY MY 150 Y/O BABY

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richardsphere · 2 months

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Leverage Log: The Real Fake Car Job

Well with a title like that, im left wondering the syntactical ambiguity. Is this a job about a fake car that turns out to secretly be real, or was there a "fake" Fake Car Job that its being contrasted against? Guess we'll see. --- No way this show starts with mistaken identity, so im betting its Witnes Protection covering a criminal's ass like usual. --- Parker looks at this guy's track record of gettign in with the maffia as a get-out-of-jail freecard and just makes a note. --- Since when do libraries charge for wifi? --- Hardison should invest in like, a small trailer for behind lucille. Keep Lucile clean. --- Oh thats bad... the show is seeding the question of "can Nate live a normal life without these high-stakes heists all the time", which is not a good indicator of his surviving the season finale. --- So he's selling the free wifi to afford his mini-cars. (good scam, low level enough most people wont even bother, allow himself to continue his hobbies a little without getting authorities called on him. Its a good con. Small scale, practical.) This guy is good at being bad. --- So the fake car is the Mussolini's car, which is gonna turn out to be the actual car they're looking for by accident? Is that what the title is about? --- Parker sold the "doesnt know about cars but found the Musselcar in her gramps' shack" character well enough, but if she's meant to play the "doesnt actually know what cars are what" character, maybe throw in a line asking about the colour of "Phil's" Alpha Romeo --- Witness Protection Bodyguard's got a good play with the GPS Tracker on the phone. (is the serving tray a bug or is it a bomb? Who knows? At this point i dont see a reason it couldnt be both) --- So he calls his car friend, from his old life. His old life, laundering money for the Maffia. Guess who's about to be assasinated! --- Is it the Wifi Money? Couple months as a librarian, couple dozen people using the wifi a day on average... Maybe a couple other minor side-hustles round town, could really add up. Especially if he suspects Italian-Parker to be naive enough... (turns out im right, i stopped the episode the moment Hardison said he hadnt accessed any banks for the money) --- Oh God, Hardisons gonna kill this guy with the implication that this "strange artist fellow" bought his prize cars and dismantled them for art supplies. ("aquired at a government auction last year) Like i love the powerplay here, tell him I murdered your babies and if you dont stop me, This baby is next. Like this is full on Dubenich invoking Nate's Son levels of emotional manipulation. --- "are we being suspicious enough" You are buying garbagebags, Axes and shovels "dont use that rope, for future reference, you can chew right through it". Well thats ominous foreshadowing --- Oh... The bodyguard thinks Team Leverage are hitmen working for the Mark to kill HER. In her defence i could definitly see him do it, kill his handler, flee the country dig up his missing money abroad. --- "i did not sell out the Marshal Service so you could throw away all of our planning on a car". shit, she's not witness protection, SHE'S MAFFIA? Oh no she isnt maffia, she's just corrupt. (5 MIllion dollars... thats good money) --- Mobster- You called our mutual friend Charlie Corrupt Bitch- You're an idiot! Mob- Then we tracked you down cause you left your GPS tracking on CB!- Ok that one is on me. Honesty! --- So they're not even going to be taking down the maffia? (most episodes, they'd somehow end up pulling those guys down as well) But hey, the Maffia seems to genuinely respect Nate. (in their defence, they've seen the damage these guys do) --- I only knew three of the five. (car would drive him crazy, Access the accounts, Turn on babysitter. Those are the ones he knew. The car friend who got the Maffia involved are obviously the ones he didnt plan on) --- "we matter". Well, this entire episode about the looming threat of retirement ends on a sweet note. But dang if it isnt an ominous plotthread to add to the final season.

#leverage season 5 #leverage #The Real Fake Car Job

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getallemeralds · 11 months

Text

doip. / 5.24.23: the woodland manse

TIME FOR DOIP! it's been a few months so: welcome to dragon of icespire peak, the d&d campaign jorb is running with me, nyx v4shthestampede, and green bahamutgreen! starring the bullheaded dragonborn fighter Alidaar, the nameless halfling druid that's usually a binturong, and the new arrival (and walking disaster of a lizardfolk) hoping for treasure, Kepesk! together we're gonna fight a really angry dragon, but first there's a lot of problems in the world we need to tackle before we have any hope or surviving.

leo: [joins call] good news, i found my dice! jorb: [plays the anime "WOW!" sound on the soundboard]

Redesign Your Alidaar, We Know What We're Doing

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: Our heroes, having said goodbye to their friend Tobias, made their way to the Dragon Barrow. There, they met a new but unexpected ally: a lizardfolk by the name of Kepesk. The three braved the barrow together, and after some close calls, claimed the Dragonslayer sword within. Outside, they met a hobgoblin named Toblin Bloodsword, leading them through Neverwinter wood. oh fuck ive lost behind. WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO CLEAR THE MANCE AND CLAIM THEIR REWARD? OR WILL THE CACOLYTES TAKE THEM BY STORM? FIND OUT………. TODAY!

i'm really good at what i do.

kepesk: wow it feels like we slept a month or two or something alidaar: more like four!

nyx: didn't we gaslight toblerone? […] leo: what's his actual name again, jorb: targor! leo, sobbing: WHY DID I THINK HIS NAME WAS TOBLIN?!

alidaar: i cartwheel over. nyx: what?? alidaar: i cartwheel over! nyx: well i was gonna ride on your shoulder or something, but i guess you're cartwheeling?? jorb: you heard the man! green: kepesk follows tripping over everything jorb: targor walks over doing a handstand or something. i dunno

good morning, falcon is here! also breakfast is here! let's goooo alidaar: good morning, motherfuckers! ..i dont say that part. OH NAMELESS HAS A NEW TOKEN, CUTE

……..huh. nameless sure is red suddenly. And This Sure Is An Overnight Change, Huh

falcon: would you mind terribly if corwin and pell dined with us this morning? alidaar: sure, why not? kepesk: [NOISE]

I FORGOT WE DUPED THE SHIT OUT OF TARGOR. targor is now aware that nameless just Does That (become a man)

jorb: [describing dinner] there's a couple of fish as well. nyx: alive. jorb: NOT ALIVE

falcon gives us a map! nyx: i am looking, i m looking with my eyes, i put my eyes on it, leo: nameless puts his face on the map. jorb, concerned: ..make a perception check? nyx: i swear im normal. [rolls a 17] jorb: this is a nice parchment!

nameless throws the map to kepesk. kepesk uses it as a napkin and then realizes its a map. falcon: i suspect i'm going to have new stories to tell after this. alidaar: you don't know the half of it. kepesk: about who :D?

nyx: i desperately want to talk to targor and tell him we're not usually like this leo: but that would be a lie :D nyx: that would be a lie.

jorb: [attempting to figure out why we can't see zodiark's name] leo: i can edit the horse. nyx: you can edit the horse???

falcon: try not to die. alidaar: it'll be hard as hell to kill us, don't you worry. :D jorb: and with that, you guys head off! nyx: ……..where am i going? jorb: YOU GUYS HAVE A MAP.

oh it's spelled manse. woodland manse. nyx: [rolls a 22 on survival] jorb: [..] you make some updates to the map as you go. leo: your map sucks ass, we improved it nyx: i'm grimacing as i hold it because it's still a bit greasy

OH SHIT THE SENDING STONE IS GLOWING OMG TOBIAS !! RAT BOYYYYY awww he misses us ;w; (and is craving cheese.) jorb: do you want to respond? you have 25 words. nyx and leo: OH GOD WHY ARE YOU MAKING US DO MATH his message is 25 words exactly. this guy. nyx: my response is two words: stay safe. kepesk: why are you guys talking to a rock? alidaar: [deadpan] sometimes rocks are magic. kepesk:

jorb: [..] you come across a clearing. nyx: why is there a boar in the bushes? green: is that a world of warcraft boar? jorb: yeah

jorb: so, what will you do? nyx: does targor have anything to say about this? jorb: oh. right. targor should say things.

OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM (PARTY MEMBERS THAT'RE GOLD-MOTIVATED) NOW

jorb: do you have the ability to move targor, by the way? leo: no. i was gonna send him to the moon to test nyx: send variable to the moon. jorb: okay, try it now leo: [launches targor across the map] YEET nyx: OH GOD

jorb: there is not another identical mansion. nyx: sad. jorb: sad! leo: sad! nyx: sad! jorb: sad!

I HAVE DIED. SADLY.

leo: are the boars doing anything? jorb: uh, no, they're just grazing in the pumpkin patch. nyx: are they eating the actual pumpkins, or the leaves, or..? jorb: do they eat pumpkins? probably the leaves. leo: [googling] do boars eat pumpkins..

kepesk is leaving zodiark outside to graze on the pumpkins.

green: i can't believe i'm only asking this now and it's not my notes.. WHY did we come here??? (it's ok green i also didn't put that in my notes. anyway we're here to wipe out followers of talos and maybe get cool boots)

jorb: [describing a room] alidaar: i wanna get a look at those figures on the fireplace. jorb: it's weird- one of them looks like a binturong. one of them looks like YOU. and.. one of them looks like tobias. leo: WHAT? UM. OK . CREEPY MANSION HAS WEIRD WOODEN FIGURES OF THE ORIGINAL PARTY????? HOLY SHIT???

leo: oh my god the tokens,,, jorb: yeah i tried to get an ai to make [the tokens] into wood, it.. leo: it looks like it melted alidaar. jorb: ..had mixed results EVERYONE IS FIALING SO BAD AT INVESTIGATING THE REST OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THEY'RE DISTRACTED BY THE WEIRD CARVINGS

kepesk: i don't care about art.

jorb: -oh hey this is pretty neat actually

targor: what are you guys looking at? alidaar: hey targor, have you ever heard of wood? targor: targor: i'm.. familiar.

green: i feel like ive been so aggressive to him, i have no beef with targor. jorb: with TOBLIN, on the other hand,

leo: kepesk wants a carving of himself SO BAD jorb: they're not carvings, they're like.. 3d figures made of sticks. green: ohhh! that's even creepier. nyx: it's like that one movie. [pause] jorb: henry stickmin.

nyx: it looks like a pantry gone wrong. kepesk: is there ANYTHING of value in this place?! jorb: do you want to make an investigation check? leo: --all of my player instincts are yelling at me to start setting fire to this place. KEPESK NO DON'T EAT THE TOXIC SLUTCH leo: do we have cure poison on deck?? kepesk: do you guys want some? alidaar: [full-body recoils] nameless: [walks away] kepesk: ..i was just joking! :D ;;

courtyard has weird vines growing out of the well! thats probably an issue kepesk: i wonder if these vines would go well with food-sludge. nameless pokes the vines and they move. Hm! Bad! Time To Be Elsewhere

jorb: ..and you hear muffled talking. [dramatic music sting] leo: whoa, music change! jorb: the music didn't change, it just did that.

UH OH nyx alerted the guys on the floor above us! Problems!

jorb: if everybody could roll initiative for me! nyx: are we jumping through the hole in the ceiling?? leo: you bet your ass! targor rolled a 15 on his initiative! green: whoa! go off king! jorb: he's full of blood! leo: i think most people are.

jorb: [editing turn order so we can't see our opponents' rolls] you saw nothing. leo: i saw nothing but a 5 jorb: 5! green: 5! jorb: 4. green: 3. jorb: 2-- leo: [plays "E" with reverb on the soundboard] leo: did you know E is the 5th letter of the alphabet? :D

SOMEBODY THREW A DFUCKING JAVELIN AT US???? jorb: what would you like targor to do? green: targor! kill!

up against a human, an orc, and a half-orc! jorb: [stage whisper] they were all orcs in the original module, but i added some divesrsty hires! update: jorb misread the encounter so the javelin has been un-thrown and nameless has been un-mutilated

PEPPER WANTS M CHEEZITS SO SO SO SO SO BAD

KEPESK IS NOW RAGING OH SHIT KEPESK'S NEW RAGE IS COOL AS HELL he's got a cool stormcloud mask thing !! yoooo kepesk is WRECKING shit this RULES I AM ALSO NOW WRECKING SHIT. alidaar can now attack twice with his main weapon and once with his offhand! so he just. absolutely slaughters the ones kepesk didn't. also i have two breath weapons now! I CAN FUS RO DAH PEOPLE i should probably not fus ro dah people oh my god targor has a fucking. magic bloodsword. that's why they call him targor bloodsword ig hmm. nameless keeps using radiant damage now. i don't think that's what they usually do but i could be wrong. but also there has been no thorn whip silliness so far

jorb: i'm not even gonna make you roll, because he has 1 hp. [..] how do you want to do this? green: there's nothing that can go wrong with straight up cutting a guy in half anime style jorb: he goes "huh, that didn't do anything--" leo: he explodes. jorb: [explosion soundboard]

so anyway we just completely demolished that encounter in, like, one and a half rounds. goodbye fuckers

after a bathroom break: jorb: there, can you see it now?

leo: [SOUND] green: final boss: the go piss girl.

jorb: it is dark in here - do you have darkvision? green: i have swimming! [..] leo: do you want me to come over here? i have darkvision jorb: i retconned- i kept waffling on if you have darkvision or not.. leo: [checks character sheet] ah! i no longer have darkvision. (jorb gave alidaar nightvision before but the dragonborn update happened so now some of the variants have darkvision and alidaar's variant Does Not. ah well)

HOO BOY the dark room contains A Guy doing a. weird ritual? surrounded by weird twig creatures! that look kinda like the weird ones on the mantle! jorb: kepesk, you know what these are. [..] these are twigblights! green: YOO, ITS HENRY STICKMIN! leo: YOOOO green: YOOOO ITS HENRY STICKMIN LEADER OF THE TOPPAT CLAN leo: there's one for each route! :D

kepesk: hey do you think itd be funny if i went up and bit him? OH MY GOD SHE ROLLED A 20 STEALTH . OH MY GOD THATS A 27??? THAT'S A NAT 19 TO HIT. JESUS CHRIST kepesk: haha! you don't taste very good! [<- green described as "in his shittiest sonic voice"]

green: okay maybe i should roll for initiative

green: MAYBE I SHOULDN'T ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, DAMN,

horc enemy is SHOOTING LIGHTNING AT US???? WUH OH . OH GOD I HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN TO 15 HP. AAUGH fun thing about the dragonborn rework: i can now replace one of my attacks with my breath weapon! i also now have Two Breath Weapons! and Two Attacks! and also an offhand attack! anyway i just Obliterated the stickmen except for one, then used my brand new fus ro dah repulsion breath to send the big bad flying into the wall and knock him prone. and then ran up and used my offhand to smack the final stickman into the ceiling. GET FUCKED LOL

nyx: im gonna walk up to alidaar and use.. uh… fuckin.. bitches! (nameless used cure wounds)

kepesk saunters up to The Guy and just. OH MY GOD GREEN ROLLED A CRIT? green: he's on the floor and i'm just [smacking noises] jorb: stabbity stab! leo: [plays "punch" sound effect A Lot]

HM. the guy backed up into a different corner and casted.. some sort of spell that didn't have a visible effect? time for nameless to roll arcana! jorb: in the words of himiko from danganronpa 3… "~it's magic~!" :D

alidaar: okay, im gonna just run straight at him and start going ham jorb: I NEVER ROLLED INITIATIVE FOR TARGOR!!!!! anyway alidaar just obliterated that guy with a dragonslayer crit. unfortunately it sounds like he was trying to do an evil last words monologue before getting beheaded. oops!

targor: sorry i'm la GREEN GOT DMCA'D ON TWITTER????? FOR VENOM GANGNAM STYLE??????????? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT???????????????????????????

uh. targor: ..why are there a bunch of frozen sticks on the ground? alidaar, covered in blood: oh y'know. occupational hazard.

WOAGH ok now that we're out of battle, nameless has rolled again for arcana and got a nat20! HM. THE GUY APPEARS TO HAVE CAST SENDING. green: i guess we shouldn't… stick around! :D

alidaar found some dust of disappearance :o and now we're going upstairs! leo: where's.. i nearly called him torbjorn. We Keep Forgetting Targor

jorb: you find a hidden door! [zelda jingle] alidaar: wow! just like in the murder of sonic the hedgehog! green: YEAAA i hope there's a milf at the end of this! (jorb: falcon could be a milf.)

time to do another round of investigating/perceiving! leo: i'm going to perceive it. jorb: [some joke abt apollo justice's bracelet i forgot] green: YEA!! leo: [rolls a 8] jorb: you don't have a bracelet, so it doesn't work leo: i start crying. [..] green: perception! just like my hero apollo justice! [rolls a 16] IMFINE! jorb: you are So fine that you find [..] a wooden staff!

Time For Nameless To Want Shiny Item jorb: they way their pupils are dilating.. you don't think they're gonna give it back. kepesk: are you gonna eat it????? [..] nameless: i give alidaar puppydog eyes. leo: what do i roll to defend against puppydog eyes? jorb: make a wisdom saving throw. leo: 10! nyx: [rolls a nat20 persuasion] leo: AH NO jorb: you can't say no to the puppydog eyes!

leo: i should start throwing targor around like a sack of potatoes like i did to tobias, that'd be funny

A BUNCH OF LITTLE NASTY BOYS ARE HERE nyx rolled a crit initiative what the FUCK my man i rolled 13.12 on my initiative! acab The Groupchat Gets Distracted Talking About Subspace Emissary nyx is going ham with the staff while i google what subspace enemy jorb and green were comparing the nasty boys to (it was an armight) nyx is Struggling to roll a d8

alidaar stuck his head through the door and used his breath weapon to Obliterate the encounter! and also freeze nameless a little bit. sorry </3 leo: how confident are you in your ability to roll above a 13 [for dexterity] nyx: i have a +1 to dexterity but do what you will leo: are you prepared to face the consequences of my actions?

kepesk has found a bathroom green: sounds boring. jorb: you dont wanna take a bath? stinky! stinkyyyy! green: --just gotta go stinky mode. jorb: smely!!!

OH GODDAMNIT MY MIC STOPPED PICKING ME UP AT SOME POINT. BIG EFF minor pause to reread my notes from Two Years Ago from when we checked the loggers camp! my notes for that session were terrible leo: [reading out notes] "hm. wonder how donjon's doing." jorb: [laughing] BAD.

Delicious Sludge! (kepesk keeps trying to eat weird things. like soot.) leo: alidaar starts jogging around. like a white dad jorb: there is a wardrobe here. leo: [squeaky] JUST LIKE THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! CLOAK OF BILLOWIIIIIIIIING kepesk is All Over this locked chest awww yeah. AH FUCK HE GAVE HIS THIEVES TOOLS TO CARROWAY IN HIS BACKSTORY CAMPAIGN its ok nameless has a crowbar nameless rolled a nat1. kepesk Also struggles with the crowbar. alidaar walks in and starts fucking Wailing on it with his morningstar green: if this thing's a mimic this would be so messed up NAMELESS KICKED IT AND GOT A CRIT jorb: how does one get a crit on an unarmed strike?? the answer is "not very well". nameless then stubbed their toe YAHOO KEPESK CAME IN SWINGING WITH A 2HANDED WARHAMMER AND SMASHED THE CHEST god this was a mess jorb: it's a flat iron rod with a button on one end. leo: it's a Gun. OH MY GOD IT'S AN IMMOVABLE ROD you push the button and it just Freezes in place and cannot be moved! kepesk tries to put it in his pocket and forgot to unpress the button. i love kepesk green: imagine if you put it in your pocket and you buttpress the button

YEAAA ALIDAAR GETS THE CLOAK OF BILLOWING time to go back downstairs! alidaar steps on a staircase and it immediately collapses. whoops alidaar takes one last look at the weird figurines and considers taking his, but decides against it and walks out. also we may have started boar religion or something? meanwhile nameless grabs the tobias one and OOPS! COMBAT! THEYRE ALIVE! nyx: i use sacred flame. jorb: on which one? nyx: the.. binturong one. leo: nameless said no doubles.

alidaar is Really Sad about having to fight the twigblight of himself :( nyx wants to save the tobias one :( :( TWIGBIAS twigbias does 5 damage to nyx's discord and makes it so he can't hear anything kepesk sees what's happening and decides to stay out of it. targor: what's going on in there? [extended silence] AW NOOOO nameless tried to dispel magic but it didnt work.. WHY DOES NAMELESS HAVE A 25 POUND CHEST????? alidaar tries to shove twigbias in the chest. he drops the chest on his foot (nat1). good lord jorb: targor walks in and says "give me that" and grabs the chest off alidaar's toe.. [rolls a 3] ..and he drops it on HIS toe EVERYTHING HAS GONE SO FAR OFF THE RAILS Alidaar And Nameless Try To Shove Twigbias Into A Chest kepesk walks up. grabs twigbias. shoves him in. WE DID IT

OH MY GOD ONE OF THE BOARS IS A DUDE OH MY GOD. MORE INITIATIVE. WHAT IS HAPPENING. THE BOARS ARE MEN kepesk: you guys were eating with my horse this whole time?? okay so. earlier the boar religion comment was because when i was looking at the twigblight party jorb mentioned how we encountered a boar Ages ago and tobias used speak with animals to tell it to go away? and now we walk out of the manse and one of the boars goes YOU SHALL NOT PASS and turns into a dude. and now there are more dudes. and basically i think we have caused problems alidaar: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? [awkward silence] nyx: is he not gonna say anything? jorb: well, its not his turn, alidaar promptly charges at the pumpkin boar and slaps it clean in half okay cool the guy is a talos fanatic and is not gonna listen to me anyway. ah well it was worth a shot

one of the nettleblights(?) - oh yeah those guys are here too. big versions of the thornblights. one of them attacked zodiark so nameless blew it up talos, lord of boars, i walked away to get cake and when i came back it still wasnt my turn yet jorb: 30 to 40 feral hogs green: i thought [zodiark] would be really strong because he's a skeleton, but i was using mario logic, nameless: im gonna use sacred flame on.. the bitch! that is up my ass.

leo: hi im back whats up jorb: you're about to get owned! leo: oh. okay [thunderwave cave from pmd playing as alidaar gets electrocuted] LETS GIVE IT UP FOR ROUND 3 alidaar is covered in blood and he loves it. he's a fightboy! jorb: he was a gladiator! not willingly, but, leo: eh you have fun with it alidaar smacks a guy with a sword and then sticks his tongue out at him. >:P

alidaar is getting electrocuted again! leo: HOOH sorry there was a bug on my screen [right next to alidaar] jorb: you take 8 thunder damage irl [..] jorb: aw, i was trying to make it so he'd push you through the window leo: can i go through the window anyway? jorb: i mean, on your turn, if you want to,

GIANT'S MIIIIIGHT [super mushroom noise] alidaar supersizes, charges head-on at the final enemy (which is the one that tried to push me through a window), and uses his battleax to slap him straight into the sky and obliterate him on impact. alidaar: FUCK YOUUUUU leo: --and then he goes back to normal because combat ended. [checks skills] wait no this last one minute. and that was six seconds. um. jorb: you're large now! leo: alidaar stands there and goes "huh. i'm large now."

back to falcon's house! nameless brought back one of the boars for dinner :D nameless is having a normal experience with reality. what the fuck is happening. Kepesk And Alidaar Get One Boot Each targor is leaving! kepesk: aw, targor, but you're so based! nyx: don't speak those witch's words at him. I FORGOT KEPESK'S PRE-CAMPAIGN GROUP - IM GOING TO KILL JORB .RIGHT NOW kepesk's previous group was expies of the chaotix. targor was planned from the getgo to be mighty the armadillo. WAIT THE WILDERS ARE THE ONES THAT KILLED HIS PEOPLE. WE HAVE GASLIT HIM UNTIL THE VERY END green: i feel so bad, but yknow.. extenuating circumstances.. jorb: why does it keep spawning more namelesses? nyx: i shape back into binturong form. which hopefully there is only one of. AN INVISIBLE NAMELESS

jorb: do you guys wanna chat or are you just going to sleep? kepesk: so that was pretty fucked up, right? alidaar: yeah! kepesk: (at nameless) does it hurt when you go binturong mode, or? nameless: [shakes head] alidaar: sometimes they're a dog! --WAIT YOU WERE THERE FOR DOG WITH A SWORD kepesk: I WAS! :D

SOMETHING IS BREAKING INTO THE HUNTER'S LODGE AAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD. BIG BOAR BIG BOAR BIG BOAR

AAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...and that's the end of the session! CLIFF HANGERRRRRRR

we still have twigbias btw.

#leo chirps #ica.txt #doip.#dnd #mdnl #WHAT A GLORIOUS CHAOTIC RETURN.#the twigbias scene took So Long. it was like 10 minutes of chaos. poor jorb

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goldenimpact · 2 months

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hELLO IS ANYONE OUT THERE????

OKAY HI hELLO FIRST OFF I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL NOW

THAT THE EVIL WHATEVER I AM HAS FALLEN AND GCANT GET UP COMMERCIAL

SOMETHIN SEOMTHIGN DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN THE ANSWER IS YES I GOT SHOVES TO THE FLOOR RECENTLY AND THIS FUCKIN BRUISE ISNT FADING FUNNNY HAHA OK PLEASENTRIRSSE ARE DONE

UH IM CATHERINE, MOD-SAN, GOLD, whatever they're callin me nowadays holy shit dude my hands are shakin like crazy

they've had me literally cleaning house PRETTY MUCH AS SOON AS I RECOVERED all work no play makes jack a dull boy thats me IM jack damn it i can't tell if i've eveolved into a live-in housekeeper or some sort of roomaate and the paymetnt si s that i get to keep my lifeand also i REALLY need to move my keyboard over or get the window to leave the screen cause i can't blind type it just ain't happenin my leg's jitterering like hell BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS IM ALIVE YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but i have absolutely NO CLUE how ;long THAS gonna last BBUT the great news is that ive finally been able to sit at my dangf computer and and actual;ly TYOOUCH ANFD LOOK AT IT ive practically been buried in all the freezers BUT ANYWAYS GOD MY HANDSA THEY STING SO FUCKING IABAD D ALKl ANYWAYS IM ALIVE IM STILL HERE IM TRYING?????????? TO GET BACK BUT EVERYONE HERE IS UHH NOT GOOD TO PUT IT LIGHTLY ITS TERRIFYIN OVER HERE BUT IM SENDING MY WELL WISHES THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY OVER THERE AND YOU SURVIVED WHETER THE HECK ANGR MY BIG SDIS MUST"VE SBUBJECTED YALL TOO BEACSE SHE IS FUCKING PISSSEEED LATELY IM GENUUNINLY WORRIED FOR OURLIVES LEVEL THERES SO MANY FIGHTS AND COMING-OUT-ABOUT-HER-LEGEND-OF-VIOLENCE STORY AND THE SHOOTIGN REVENTLY AND POINT IS THE LEGAL STUFF MIGHT GET RESOLVED OKAY?????? DADS MAGIC PROTAG POWERS OR WHATER APAPRENTLY HE KNOWS EVREYONE PERSON ON THE PLANET ITS GODDAMN WITCHCARAFT BUT MOMS DROPPIN LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY BBBBBBUYT OTS HER BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK AND WERE GONNA TRY AND TAKE ME OUTSIDE AND SEE IF I EXPLODE IN THE SUNLIGHT SO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH THANKS FOR EVERYTHIGN I LOVE YOU GUYS ILL TRYT TO FUCKIN REACTIVATE ALL MY ACCOUNTS ALL A BAJILLION OF THEM APPARENTLY I WAS ONE CRASY AKJSFI KID PLEAASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON MY BI G SIS WAKES UP SOON IF SHE HEARS ME IM GETTTIN IT I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHATS GOIN ON ON YOUR SIDE CAUSE NO ONE IS SAYIN JACK SHIT BADUM TSSHH BUT I GOT MY SHIT COMIN AT LIKE 9 AM RIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY VERY MYSTERIOUS NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY DO ANYMORE MEDS AND IF I KICIK THE BUCKET AT LEAST I FUCKING STAYED BABY YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALSO IM NOT DRUNK WE DONT DRINK IN THIS HOUSE EVER BUT I DEFINITYL NEEDS A LIL HELP IN LIKE ANY SORT OF MEANIN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE FUCKIN REMEMBERS ANYTHING IN ANY SOR TOF WAY FOR ANY SORT OF THING ITS AN ACTUAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHOSE CALLIN OR TOUCHIN SHIT OR WHAT TALL THIS SHTI IS IN THE HOUSE AND FRANKLY IM TERRIFIED CAUSE EVREYONE LEAVES POR PASSES OUT BEFORE I CAN GET A CLEAR ANSWER AND AND ADN COLD WAR INTELLIGENCE WHATHER NEWS STORY OLD POPS HERE IS PUTTIN ON TV ANYWAYS LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE CALL OUT IF YOU SEE ME IN THE WILDS SOMEDAY BUYYEYEEE

WAIT I JUST REMEMBRED BIG SIS IS GONNE DESTROY SHIT SOON SONSONSOON SHIT HSHISTHSHIT OK ANYWAYS ERVYTHIN ONLINE LOOKS OKAY FROM WHERE I CAN SEE IT IN MYSETRUOS VPN LAND AND IM GOIN THROUGH MY COMP RIGHT NOW BUT EVREYON IN OUR HOUSE RECOGNIZES THE DISCORD SYMBOL PROBABLY>>>?????? SO IM TRYIN TO FIND ALL OTHER CONTACTS BUT ITS JUST A BUNCH OF EMAILS DDDDUDE I JUST HAD TO LET YALL KNOW WE'RE ALIEV HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE WELL LOVE YALL EVER IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THAT ASTY SAFE WATCH OUT FOR FUKCING PUNCHES OR SIDESWEEPS AND MY BIG SISSS KILLING BLOW AND THE FCKKGNGI SWORD ON TOP OF HER BOOKSELG OR THE LITTLE GUN THING IN HER LCOSET WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN IN HER ROOM ANYMROE ANYWASY DONT DIE OUT THERE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE OUT BURY ME UNDER A BLUE SKY WITH ALL MY SHIT IIM HANDING DOWN WHATEVR THE ITTY BITTY NOT SO BITTY NEICE WANTS LIL PRINCESS LILLY HAACKER SCAMMER HUSTLER SECOND LEGEND OF VIOLENCE IN THE MAKIN IM GONNA FUCKIN PASS OUT I HAVE NO IDEA OF FUCKIN ANYTHIN THATS HAPPPENIN HERE EVERERR GOD CAN I TALK TO ANYONE THAT ISNT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD THAT THIGNS I HAVE HEARSD ABOUT THE PWOPLE ROUND HERE any ewysbans m y hands are shak in and breakin and crankin love yall stay safe dont fall into a ditch like me ever again mMWAHH TEDDIE IF YOURE OUT I STILL OWE YOU THAT FUCKIN LETTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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mobiused · 2 years

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mobiused my train got delayed and im really bored would you be willing to talk about vivi for a bit if that's ok

I had a dream about Vivi the other night basically she invited me to hang out but then it turned out to be kind of a date or something and she was like "Mobi there's this really cool chocolatiers that I wanted to go to" and I was like aww cute let's go so we linked arms and went I think we were in like Belgium maybe. Okay so when we got there it was like a Yo Sushi have you ever been to one? With like the conveyer belts and everything except the conveyer belts was around a massive pool with people swimming in it and I was like erm Vivi are you sure this is a chocolatiers and she was like Don't question me. So I didn't. and there's like little cute chocolates on the conveyer belt so my concerns were temporarily dissuaded. But then as we got our table suddenly this horrific sound happened and there was an explosion of blood in the pool and like it didn't exactly splatter everywhere (like not on us) but you could see the viscera everywhere and I was like Okay vivi what the fuck is this place. And she was like It's a cannibal chocolatiers ^__^ Look here comes the waiter and the waiter came with the waiver and idk i was too starstruck from being on a date with vivi to question it and just signed it and she was like Yayy now we get to play. Vivi play what. Play what. And so after we sign it shes like cmon now its our turn to get in the pool ^__^ and well I wanna see vivi in a swimsuit so .. I get in the pool . With vivi who looked really hot may I add. And we have the rules explained to us. It's like russian roulette with 6 people in the pool and one of us gets exploded and our blood sucked up from the pool (not sure how this really works in a practical sense? wouldn't it be like really dilute?) and if you survive you get to eat the cannibal chocolate which is apparently the best in the world and worth the whole nearly getting killed thing. And now I'm kinda scared shitless... and there's a timer counting down and i'm like bro vivi we're gonna freaking die or get covered in the blood and guts of a random stranger and honestly I'm not keen on all that. Like i like my viscera as much as the next guy but when it's real life its a little bit scary! And vivi is just like laughing her ass off about how worried I am shes like babes don't sweat it its gonna be fine think about how good the chocolate is gonna taste *drool emoji* and shes like splashing me and shit and trying to play around in the pool (she looked really cute tho to be fair) and I'm like trembling and shaking like please stop trying to waterbend I'm this close to peeing myself and shes like aww okay come here and gives me a hug (realistically this wouldn't be very feasible as its kinda hard to stay afloat if youre not sculling) So when the countdown gets to zero, the guy in front of us gets blown up and he gets EVERYWHERE. Like it's disgusting. I won't go into detail. And i'm like... shaking and vivi is like Awww is mobi scared of the dead body's guts getting everywhere? 😂😂 Wow cringe and I feel quite emasculated. (Isn't this kind of a common theme in my dreams? Not the emasculation but I mean loona laughing at incredibly graphic gore... yeah whats that about) And then the guy (the boss?) is like yay you guys won get the fuck out the pool so we can collect his blood so we get out the pool and dry off and they usher us round but I still feel sick from like an adrenaline overdose and I'm shaking still and I'm like Vivi... I don't think I want to eat this chocolate... cuz like. Okay I like black pudding I've had blood sausages before I'm not against eating food with blood in it like I'm mature. But human blood.... and I mean like i'm even a goth so like i'm not adverse to like vampire adjacent yandere nonsesne like if it was my lovers blood maybe itd be okay like you know how some people have vials of their partners blood like its a little weird but you know i'm always open to new experiences. But like this is dead pool guy killed in pool explosion blood. And I nearly peed myself and I'm sure other people probably did pee themselves like it doesn't even feel that hygen-

#tw horror #i guess #Semi related but I thnk it's cute vivi said 'See you in your dreams' as she left the concert today likee #Vivi certified dreamwalker #Also I hit word limit so let me RB with a continuation in a sec #Also the word for dreamwaler is apparently oneironaut wow

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winderlylandchime · 5 months

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1/2 and we are now at 5x11 and he is so fucking happy because Brian said i love you and they are back together. He’s smiling so big its actually hilarious.

And the scene opens with Brian at church ‘what the fuck is going on? WHO FUCKING DIED?! DID THEY KILL MIKE? I mean he was an annoying little shit but that’s a bit much. WHY IS BRIAN IN A COFFIN?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS- oh thank fuck its a dream. A horrible one at that.’ ‘Has Brian not been home to shower, fucking hell, i feel so fucking bad for him. Ted is fully in survival mode huh?’ ‘Blondie is at the hospital! Wheres Brian! I need the happy couple back on the screen. Fucking hell Emy is scared now. Okay so Mike is alive and well, good. Now back to Brian and Justin’ And we are at the scene with Brian and Cynthia now ‘i fucking love these two. Look how he cares for everyone. He has a big fucking heart and it pisses me off that people pretend he doesn’t.’ And WE ARE AT THE FIRST PROPOSAL SCENE!!! *said with huge excitement and then it died down* ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN AT HIS umm place…i love when they mock each other. Ahhh young LOVE. Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do.’ Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! *he paused it RIGHT BEFORE THE PROPOSAL AND I WANTED TO SCREAM* why the fuck is blondie being dismissive..bro that’s not what i wrote in the script inside my little brain *plays ep and Brian propose* um W- WHAT. *he moves forward while sitting as if he heard wrong and then pauses it when Brian talks about his dream* i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. Like bro let that man change. But also huh *plays ep* NOT WITHOUT HIM! So wait, hold the fuck up. Brian says he loves him. And they kiss. And he..*scoffs again* proposes. And then Blondie just says thanks and thats it? So THEYRE NOT TOGETHER?’ And we are with Ted and Brian at the club ‘i actually get why he doesn’t wanna reopen the club again. It is kinda weird in a way..i dont know. Oh Ted is not in a good shape. Whats going on with everyone’ We are now at the scene with Mel, Linds and Justin and mel says its good they realized what they had before its too late ‘PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS MAKES BLONDIE RETHINK SOME STUFF…i still hate the..you know what? Im gonna be quiet and not judge. Just go back to Brian’ and we are at the scene with Jen and Brian ‘JEN AND BRIAN!! MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! FINALLY! (She says the judy line) i fucking love this woman! And look so does Brian! They shouldve had more scenes together, this wouldve been amazing (jen says he wants to sell the loft) WHAT?! Why? So not panic then why the fuck is he selling? What is happening? (Brian tells about the proposal) oh my god. HE TOLD HER? Holy fucking shit. *starts laughing cause jen offers pills* i love her but im sure he has some stronger shit in his drawer. OF COURSE SHES SORRY HES NOT HER SON IN LAW! This is the mother he shouldve had. Remember their first scene? I love them’ The scene with Brian and Ben happens ‘man fuck every single one of those protestors. Go to hell. BEAT HIS ASS BEN! I cannot believe that Brian is the collected and calm one. My boy is growing.’ ‘Ah fuck thats why Ted is acting this way. Poor fucking guy. But thats not your fault, man. Hate to say it Teddy but the dude is right, youre not god..that dude sucks’ Brian says he calls him Zen Ben ‘i call you boring. Once again Brian is better than me. It’s still fuck Mike tho *looks at me* what? i can say it now, he’s alive’ Mel and Linds talk about Canada ‘what the fuck is she on? Does she think that this type of shit won’t happen anywhere else?’ And we are at the second proposal now: ‘where the fuck are they going? I hate this car. (It shows the house and he is suspicious and brian says ‘we do’) WE? since when do we speak French? Fuck is he talking about we? THATS WHY HE SOLD THE LOFT?! Wait he bought this for Justin?’ *he pauses tv and stares at me and then just goes back to watching*

Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? RIGHT!?! What is up with Justin this fucking season? Since when does he want to live in the middle of nowhere and be married with children? SINCE WHEN? (And also Brian told him since Day 1 that was never going to happen)

I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do. YES (also this inspires me for my fic ;) )

Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! THE I LOVE YOU HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. <- Yes on both counts. Like everyone doubts his change so he reverts to what he’s always been and then everyone says “see, it wasn’t real.” But also WTF is this sudden focus on marriage? I hate it. It makes no sense. Leave Ben and Mikey to be the happy married boring couple and let Brian and Justin stay themselves.

This Brian and Jen scene is one of my all time favorites. The two of them have come so far. And Jen is the mother Brian deserves.

Okay… onto the proposal (worst idea ever, fuck you forever writers)

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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boozles · 6 months

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Some stoned live-blogging because it’s Saturday and this is trauma Only Friends Day

Yo telling Sand she’s used to people only wanting her body or money - SOUND LIKE ANYONE?

Okay, Mew I have been so understanding of all the shit you’ve pulled. I get it, you want revenge and I am all for that, but it’s went too long and too far now. Top doesn’t deserve this.

Nick deserves to be happy and do what he wants, but Dan deserves to know that there’s someone else in the picture.

Oh gosh I love Sand’s mum. The fact that she sees Ray and her first instinct is SING FOR ME - I mean, I’d be the same.

OMG YOU CANT JUST THROW WATERY EYED FIRST KANAPHAN ON THE SCREEN WITHOUT GIVING ME WARNING. I ALMOST SCREAMED.

IS HE GOING TO TELL HIS DAD WHO HE IS?!

OH RAY BABY I CANT HANDLE YOUR FUCKING FACE I JUST WANT TO SMOOSH IT SO BAD ITS SO SQUISHY

NO KHAO YOU CAN NOT QUIVER YOUR LIP LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO JUST SURVIVE?!

OMG THATS A REAL BRUISE FROM THE LOCKERS ISNT IT?!

I kinda feel a little bad for Mew because he’s so easy to manipulate. He thinks he can control situations but he really can’t. He’s the kid that thinks he’s the leader and everyone just plays along because they don’t wanna hurt his feelings.

Ugh Boeing I hate you so much but I still want to sit on your face. At least it’ll shut you up.

Oh, okay, Mew might actually have had a handle on the situation with Boeing?

WAIT HOW AM I ONLY ON PART TWO?!

The way Nick speaks to Ton when they get to the bar, like he still doesn’t understand that Ton actually only wants him 😭

Now let’s go run Atom over with a truck!! No? Pfft. Fine.

Ooh Nicky Baby, are we hatching a plan? Are we getting revenge on Atom? FUCK HIM UP BABY BOY!

OMG WHY DID WE NOT GET A LIVE SOUG REACTION OF BOSTON WHEN NICK KISSED ATOM? (Also Nick is totally using this to get a little revenge on Boston and I am fucking LIVING FOR IT)

Atom better tell everyone the truth now and Cheum better apologise to Boston.

OH GOSH SOMEONE GIVE ME A FIRSTKHAOTUNG SERIES WITH A KID. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED GIVE THEM A CHILD

Gosh I love Top. Get some digs in before you reconcile.

SAND IS WEARING A NO DOUBT SHIRT

THIS IS POETIC

If Mew’s moms know what Top did they are super chill about it. My parents would be trying to kill my exes for raising their voice to me never mind cheating XD

Listen Force is another one that destroys me when he cries. There’s something about it.

Gosh is it really that fast getting a passport in Thailand?! It took me months in the U.K.!!

RAY JUST CALLED SAND HIS BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I AM SOBBING WITH EMOTION

OMG SO RAY SINGING IN THE STORE JUST KILLED ME

REMINDED ME OF THE TIME MY WEE BROTHER COULD STILL HIT HIGH NOTES AND WALKED THOUGH A STORE SINGING THE SNOWMAN

Fucking hell Ray is the cutest wee bean

But did he have to word it like “oh the ex that dumped you for Top” so casually XD Sand’s face XD

OKAY ATOM OWN UP TO CHEUM THAT YOU LIED YOU LITTLE PRICK

good boy

I still don’t like Cheum.

Nicky, if I knew you I’d wanna take pictures of your beautiful face every day too

Oh gosh I know it’s because I’m invested but I want Boston and Nick to be official boyfriends. I’m sorry Dan I bet you’re a great guy but you were just a side quest

UHM CAN SOMEONE FIND ME A BOYFRIEND TO BUY ME GUITARS? LIKE, IS THAT A STRAT? Even if it’s a strat copy, that’s still an expensive gift.

I wonder if behind the scenes Khaotung was like THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TUNE A GUITAR

Listen, I know people are gonna be mad that Sand looked a bit :/ when Ray said to Boeing about them being boyfriends, but I know how awkward that situation is when an ex shows up and you kinda don’t wanna say you’re with someone else but not because of any reason other than you’re uncomfortable. That make sense? Regardless, FUCK YOU BOEING.

oh Ray, that face. He wants to fuck up Boeing and I support it.

Boeing isn’t happy if he isn’t fucking up someone’s relationship, is he?

Sand is wearing a Pink Floyd shirt and all I can think of is The Wall and now I’m like SYMBOLISM.

Sand, baby. I know it’s hard to say no and set boundaries in this situation, I have been there, I have made the mistakes and I understand but it is making me so uncomfortable to watch. Everywhere I feel like this show is calling me out on my youth and this week is no different. I keep cringing because Sand won’t just SAY IT STRAIGHT but I know what that’s like when you don’t want to say yes or no.

Okay like he tried to set a boundary, he said they could be friends and nothing else but he isn’t exactly pushing Boe away and *screams into the void*

FOR FUCK SAKE RAY ARE YOU REALLY DETERMINED TO HAVE THIS THREESOME?

I know it’s a way to try and force Sand to pick him but Boeing is gonna be trying to fuck all of you. And hide any plants because he’ll be after them too.

OH NO BOE IN THE WATER LOOKS TOO GOOD

WAIT IS THIS GOING TO BE A THREESOME?! THEYRE ALL GONNA GET NEKKID?!

aw they aren’t getting nekkid

Where is this pool thing going

THEY DID NOT JUST END THERE

okay I know there won’t be a threesome, but Ooft.

Next week looks like it might kill me

OH AYE NEXT WEEK IS THE FINAL EPISODE AND ITS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY SO IF I DONT GET A HAPPY ENDING THEN IM GONNA HAVE TO YELL AT P’JOJO

#boozle #only friends #only friends spoilers #ofts #ofts spoilers #drama #thai drama #bl drama

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octodrop · 1 year

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stardew characters based on who is most likely to win in a hunger games situation

it's been a hot minute since I made this, but here's some additional thoughts on some characters, from bottom to top:

clint would try and find emily to pair up with but she would already be gone. hed mope around in the open which would leave him an easy target

abigail would think shes such hot shit. but the second shes actually in a threatening situation she would hesitate which would be her downfall

pam and george are both way too stubborn to team up with anyone and it would easily come to their downfalls

sebastian does not have the skills to survive on his own. im sorry

snail is just used to that sort of thing but hes so easily killable. come on

morris thinks hes better than everyone this motherfucker would not team up with anyone if he could

listen. i love sam. but hes kinda dumb. hed get distracted and lost super easily

elliott deserves a dramatic death i think. also its just really funny to me. this man gets blown up

penny has 0 survival skills

i feel like krobus and dwarf would be those kind of deaths that happen without anyone knowing. there's a fire, and they're all alone.

i feel like leo's tendency to live in trees would be his downfall. again, with the fire example, he could get cut off by fire really quickly and have nowhere to go

leah definitely has some survival skills. And I think she'd last longer than most. She has proficiency in some tools that could be used as weapons, But I think she'd be pretty vulnerable in a stage hazard event, especially if she's making it alone.

shane, haley and birdie are pretty self explanatory. Have you seen Haley when she gets pissed off?

I had a whole thought process for Demetrius: Demetrius, Robin and Maru would all stick together (Sebastian had already seperated from everyone else). Demetrius would be super protective of Maru, not wanting anything to happen to his baby girl. But Maru insists she's going to be okay and she knows what to do if she's in danger: the protocols, etc. Demetrius worries if he's being unreasonably anxious over her safety so allows Maru to take a short journey to find water. She heads out. Time passes. A long time passes. There's no sign of Maru. Robin and Demetrius look for her. She'd been attacked. she passes away. demetrius blames himself for the loss and obsesses over it. Robin tries to help him but he can't move on, leaving him an easy target.

I don't remember why I put jodi there?

Gus would absolutely try to help out where he can. but ultimately he's just kind of a guy, he doesn't really have that many survival skills

Linus is hardy and he'd definitely want to help out as many people as he can. But I feel like someone would take advantage of this and kill him

gunther also has the drive to help the community. he can't provide much as an archaeologist but he would definitely do what he could

Harvey would be picked up pretty quickly by a group; his skills as a physician are invaluable in such a setting. This man is a trained professional, and would be protected with whatever it takes. He'd have a lot of support early on, but as number start to decline he'd become more vulnerable. Unfortunately for Harvey, he's physically weak, and does not have it in him to ever cause harm to another human being.

Magnus is a very knowledgeable man, and I think him, Marlon, Gil, Alex and Harvey would make an incredibly strong team. Magnus and Marlon would be experts at tracking field hazards and traps, furthermore, I think Magnus would be the first to sense any sort of approaching disturbance, providing the group with a lot of forewarning and time to prepare for danger. But physically? he doesn't fight with his hands, and if he's unprepared for a physical confrontation, he's gonna suffer

Alex is very physically fit. Honestly? I think he'd be good in a fight. With someone like Magnus to compensate for his himbo nature, he'd go very far. But without that....

Gil, the admin guy, is apparently very good in a fight. yet, we've never seen him leave his chair? the mans gotta rest. so I have no way of knowing how good his fighter instincts are

Then we have the final 3:

Marlon is a very skilled and active adventurer, and aside from what I mentioned above, he's a very seasoned fighter and honestly a powerful survivor so he's an incredibly good candidate for the final 3

Robin is physically active, aware, has the drive and does not a lot of hesitation. She has proficiency in a number of tools that could be used as a weapon, and she has the ability to construct good shelter. Like cmon. how could she not

Kent has been through this before. He's been around the block, knows how to sleep on limited food with one eye open. He's army trained and a war survivor. He knows what he's doing and wouldn't hesitate to kill

Winner:

Emily is an absolute enigma. She has powers beyond any man. I don't know how to elaborate on this any further, but I just know it to be true

#i made this weeks ago. i thought the community would like to see this #stardew valley #no grandpa and the governor are not in the game. they are making out in the game room #octotext

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