#its always. wrong.
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#personal#hey guys i forgot i was bipolar for a little while#im trying to take this as like. positive as possible.#just because i am showing signs of past behavior does not mean i have not grown#i cope better. i am stronger now. the feels are the same but i am better i know i am#... but it does still hurt just as bad#its hard to argue with a feeling#the feeling hurts and makes your brain try to agree with it. until you cant argue that its wrong#its always. wrong.#i am bigger than my emotions i am worth more than the sadness my chest feels#it will pass and i will be okay very soon#I am loved.#... i love you.
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Wanna give a quick shoutout to the federal judge last week who struck down the Arkansas law that tried to outlaw gender-affirming care for minors, not only ruling it unconstitutional, but including 311 statements of fact all going against the gender-affirming care ban in a ruling that was 80 pages long. Especially since these statements make it harder for transphobes to appeal and iirc this is considered precedent.
#us politics#the us sucks for a lot of reasons but its always worth celebrating when we stand up against this shit#if i got any details wrong in this or if theres any additional information that should be included here let me know
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a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress
#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried#actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it?#i feel like he wouldn't like it...#since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly#i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening#so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine?#HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3#many things probably!#what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#wally darling#i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him#but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly#always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions#he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt.#i just cant imagine him never not Thinking#unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3
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thinking about it .i think alot of people Like the Idea of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant but not actually wanting to raise children. idk its really funny does anyone get me
#im just basing this off of how alot of people on here also simultaneously can't handle kids#but idk#maybe these people Do want kids and im just spitting nonsense#i never see anyone here talk about wanting to start families its always weirdos being rlly open about hating kids and babies#you can yell at me if im wrong
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Sorry for not having a Year of the Dragon MDZS artwork; Unfortunately, I can only picture Dragon LWJ in this particular flavour.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Dragon AU#MDZS AU#noodleji#(IT'S A REAL TAG!!! AAH!!! THROWING MY HAT TO THE LITTLE GUY LOVERS!)#Yes I watched Fruits Basket in my teen years and yes it left a significant impression on me.#'The Dragon Transforms' and its just into a small little guy.#Even more points if the human form is a Tall Guy.#Sadly this does not appear to be a common nor popular variation so I will sit on my little hill alone. (EDIT: I WAS WRONG)#Dragon LWJ probably would be some kind of river dragon. Lesser god of a small stream.#One that grows bigger with time but always has the reputation of being benevolent and calm to those who seek its clear waters.#Do not pollute these waters or your ass is going to be bit. 1000 tiny puncture marks.#I imagine that's probably how wwx first meets him (accidently pours booze into lwj's river) (gets bit - gets bit - gets bit-)#WWX eventually befriends him through stubbornly showing up every week to give him offerings.#Takes him into town in a little pot of water to show him how the people live. Maybe go to a festival.#When the day is done and he's back in his river and alone - LWJ finally feels a new emotion...it is longing and loneliness.
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the sunset.
a comic about two outlaws who loved each other, despite everything.
creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
#cw: gun violence + blood#par for the course for most homoerotic cowboy media#conway loved roy and roy loved him back but only figured that out when it was too late#god i love tragedy#this was indirectly inspired by the lifechanging heartache of a movie that is brokeback mountain#i watched that movie and was ruined emotionally for a calendar week#these poor self sabotaging cowboys#i havent been this proud of a comic as a finished product since RED btw#like if it was just the art or the poem on its own it wouldn't hit but i really do think i did my best for both components#really pulled out all the stops on this one so i hope you all like it as well#and as always#thank you for reading#cowboys#western#gay rights#and wrongs#original art#comic art#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics#hearteaters
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"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.
"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"
"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"
"What?"
"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"
"Not in my experience."
Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.
"This is definitely a bad idea."
#dpxdc#dcxdp#batpham#dead tired#dead tired ship#there is a more expanded upon version of this with actual backstory and context rotting in the recesses of my brain#but its only half on paper and the conversation made me laugh so#here: have some feral danny leading tim down a path to disaster#danny: this is going to go so well! i have such a good feeling about this!!#tim: this is going to go so poorly. i have such a bad feeling about this.#danny: 🥺🙏🙏🙏#tim: i never said we weren’t doing it. i just reserve the right to tell you i told you so when it inevitably goes wrong#danny: leave that to younger me - he always makes very valid points in the form of fists to the face!#tim: can you stop talking please this is making me want to do it less#danny: no.
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#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#sora#riku#nightmare's end#mirage split#my gif#i was going to write up a whole thing in the tags about my thoughts on this keyblade#but i just know it'll be an incoherent essay because i can't properly articulate my thoughts#the x-blade must be forged through a clash of light and darkness#but i find it so highly significant that sora and riku can create their own keyblade which is so unheard of#this keyblade isn't created with a clash but rather through harmony and balance#not with conflict but with understanding and connection and love#and i always felt as though that's how the x-blade SHOULD be forged. that master xehanort went about it all wrong#because balance and connections are such important themes in these games#it has two handles and looks so regal when combined. all of the shapes feel reminiscent of the x-blade too#it shines so brilliantly with both sora and riku's symbols. the heart and crown which is the iconic logo for the entire series#also the way stained glass is always used to represent hearts. it's so significant!#and yeah the paupu fruit keychain is its own thing to unpack#okay so i ended up writing something anyway but there's still so much more#i just really hope we get to see more of this in future games because it would be shocking if it was nothing more than a cool combo attack
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
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hot ladies who can fight and are squatting at a dead womans castle
#neverafter#neverafter spoilers#d20#dimension 20#dimension 20 fanart#my art#sleeping beauty#snow white#cinderella#rapunzel#la bete#princess elody#mira#its so fun to finally draw all the princesses#i love that brennan is always a proponent for womens wrongs#we love to see it#the princesses were so cool and terrifying this ep#but also i cant stop thinking about how badly the cast beefed their conversations asfDASHFD#rosamund du prix
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can’t talk about it
[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.
Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."
The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"
The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."
The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."
The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."
The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged#back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this#department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being#alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever#badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of#guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too#i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time#it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally.#evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay#they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their#desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even#if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years#they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg#and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone.#ruporas art
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i’m just gonna leave this here
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.
#asexual#asexuality#aspec#aromantic#aro#arospec#lgbtqia#am I wrong or no?#its like a sorrow on a frequency only other ace folk can detect#or say ah ha yes i feel this#this makes sense#i can incoherently ramble a feeling or a thought and others who identifying *get* it like it's a language we both speak#fluent in a common wave of ace-solation if you will#anyway just wanting to throw this out there again#i know i had a vague post similar to this that blew up but its always so hard to articulate the feeling#and maybe this will reach others that relate and agree to this that will make them feel less alone#wow these tags are messy and full of typos#lots of love to my loney ace and aro specs buddies#💜💚💜💚💜
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i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.
if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour
#shut up danni's talking#its one of my ultimate favourite aspects of character designs and i will forever use it w my characters#but i also think abt it w ppl!!!!#its almost certainly spawned from a combo of my mum passionately loving her colour + my primary school#my primary school's name/theme/whatever was related to the rainbow#its common for primary schools in the uk for the uniform to be polo shirts and schools would pick a colour and that was your uniform#but w my school's theme being rainbows they were like lol whatever colour as long as you're in a polo shirt#so kids would choose whichever shirt colour they wanted some kids switched it up every year#others stuck w the colour they chose all 6 years#so of course i would correlate ppl w colours which is how i always relate sophie w dark blue#bc i'd play w this girl called sophie in the afterschool club who always wore dark blue through all the years i knew her#tbh i still think of my brother also as dark blue bc he would wear the same colour#if you could not guess my colour was yellow and i always felt distinctly wrong when i had to wear a different colour#there were a couple times i had to borrow a new shirt bc mine got dirty or all mine hadn't been washed so i had to wear my brother's#i don't know if its just me but i feel like everyone has an affinity with a colour even if its n9t your fave#hence the poll lmao
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Kala is filing a complaint
#oh dont worry they said the sky is harmless they said its all superstition they said#yeah sure. explain this then#this is an incomplete list not including: sun hurting eyes; thunder hurting ears; and other such things#ive doodled sth along these lines more than once before lol bc it is on my brain often#but dont think i've posted anything for it before? i might be wrong but doesnt matter#i dont draw her enough anyway#my art#my ocs#oc: kalagna brosca#kala and june are the candidates who always look too young when i draw them rip#gotta figure out how to make them look older smh..#dont think kala should be quite as baby faced by the time of inquisition lol
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