#its a bit much to cover in a shitpost so yeah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gren-arlio · 7 months

Text

Went into this with nothing, came out with Japanese History. Welcome to Episode 10 of (Waku) Puyo Extras: Educational Edition.

(Yeah Lagnus is in the Waku Puyo Manga. There's 3 versions of him due to him basically having DID, and he actually gets solid development. A win for all 10 of us Lagnus fans.)

Hello everyone, it's that teenage boy who spends his time looking into wacky Japanese games again, and welcome to Episode 10 of this series. Finally hit double digits for these episodes, I can finally say it can be it's own series.

With enough research finally under my belt, (whilst also reading Case Closed on my spare time, good manga,) I can finally discuss Arle's Travel Log/Arle Man'Yuki, a game I had zero idea what it was about, but came out with...mostly basic Japanese history, so this is the educational episode of this franchise.

So, what's gonna happen after this? I'm glad you asked. Y'see, on Halloween, it's Her birthday. Yeah, Her. May as well plan a special episode for that, since She's one of my personal favorite characters. It'll be like 80% of just me shitposting, so heads up.

Anywho, with that, hope you enjoy.

So, What're The Origins?

Let me make this clear: What I cover this time around is NOT the entire game. That'll take way, WAY too long, so I'm only covering the pieces I do know. Some parts may also be wrong, as I'm not an expert on Japanese History. I hope you understand.

Well, there's a lot to cover here. Arle's Travel Log was released for Windows '95 in Volume 13 of Disc Station Magazines, back in 1996.

(The artstyle given in the game.)

The game itself is text-adventure game, and oh boy, you'll be reading a LOT of text for this game. There's light gameplay elements, such as clicking specific characters for a game or a battle sequence, but they're padded out from a lot of text.

Now, what's interesting about this game is two major things. First off, the game takes actual elements from old Japanese culture and adds it into their game, but they add Puyo characters/New characters/Jump Hero characters as the historical figures instead. We'll cover the history part in a bit. As well, Arle jumps through time period after time period, ranging from the 1100s to the 1860s.

And the second thing to mention: They have Jump Hero characters in this. You rarely saw them during Compile's runtime, but they made some appearances here and there.

-----

Wait, What's Jump Hero?

I should mention this actually. Jump Hero was another series released by Compile themselves, a series of games with mixed variety in them due to spinoffs (or as they're called, Gaiden Games,) such as platformers, point-and-click adventure games, adventure games, etc. It starred Billy de Babine, the Jump Hero himself.

(Disc Station Vol. 23. Guess Arle's a Yugioh player now, or are those candy? Curiously, Billy also seems to be drawn in the Puyo~N artstyle.)

There's a ton of characters to cover that I won't be...well, covering, such as Billy Burn (or Barry de Babine), Prince Ivan the Penguin, and Margarita Linda, but for those curious, here's the link to the basics of some Jump Hero characters.

Now frankly, Jump Hero can get its own episode, but for now, this is the basics, and what you mostly need to know.

-----

And For Those Wondering What Time Periods:

Well...it's the Heian and Edo/Bakamatsu period.

The Heian Period (Heian is current day Kyoto,) was a period from 784 AD to about 1185, most notably known not only for its virtually 400 years of peace, but also the boom it had on Japanese art and poetry. It was the Golden Age for historical Japan, as due to them making their own vast differences from Chinese art, but also their literature, caused a new and unique Japanese culture.

As well, during this time, politically, Japan was an isolationist country, basically leaving itself from most worldwide talk.

The Bakamatsu Period was much shorter one, from only 1853 to 1867, based off the end of the Edo Period (1603-1867.) The Edo Period was considered the last period of peace for traditional Japan, before they went into an imperial rule, up until their defeat/surrender in WW2 in 1945. The Edo Period was a peaceful one, though for 200 years instead of 400, known best for the economic growth of the Shogunate.

Back to the Bakamatsu Period, it was the final years of traditional Japan, though they're best known for the Shinsengumi Swordsmen, a group of elite swordsmen founded from 1863 to 1869, formerly low ranked Samurais and Farmers, founded to protect the Shogunate due to a massive divide in Japanese politics.

Unfortunately, history was not on their side, and were disbanded in 1869, as well as the end of traditional Japan. You may also know the Shinsengumi from Gintama.

Yeah. There's a lot to cover.

My history may be off so take these with a grain of salt.

-----

What's The Story, Gren?

Ah, the story itself.

It begins with Arle...encountering Satan once again, who's looking to grab Carbuncle. Unfortunately, Arle isn't having any of that and so they duel. However, due to this duel, they get blasted back in time. I'm talking the 1100s back in time.

The Heian Period levels of back in time.

(WATCH OUT ARLE YOU'RE GETTING MARIO AND LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME'D)

And now, Arle wakes up in the 1100's. Ain't that fun?

Unsure of where to go, she just sorta wanders around, checking her surroundings and runs into Mamomo, (remember him? Me neither.) and runs into...The Old Man From Third Street from Jump Hero, in the role of an historical Onimyoji, Abe no Seimei. There's even a shrine of him in actual Japan.

And hey, there's Ivan, in the role of Fujiwara no Muchinaga, the most influential person in Japanese courts back in the 10th/11th century, as well as holding the oldest autographic diary for a historically important person.

(Best image I can find...whoops.)

Throughout Arle's journey, she'll not only run into characters from Jump Hero, such as Billy de Babine posing as general Minamoto no Yoshitsune, but also Puyo/Madou characters themselves, posing as either historical figures themselves or just random people, such as Kikimora, Draco and Witch.

Kikimora is in a later year, I believe 1863, while Witch and Draco's in about year 1000. That's why Arle's clothes change. They both look pretty though.

Fun fact about Witch though: She does have a small game where you have to click her, but she must've mastered the damn Body Flicker from Naruto since she goes ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Now why did I say "historical figures" for some?

Well, let's take Rulue for example, playing the role of Tomoe Gozen, and my GOD was Tomoe a badass. A female Samurai, in the 1180s, there was a war going on in the late Heian Period, the Gunpei War, and in that, she was a leader, and went into battle alongside other Samurai. She's most notable not only for that, she's known to at least taken the head of one enemy (Hinda No Moroshige,) and presented it to her leader. Absolutely fucking insane.

Best part is...she was also a devoted wife. Ironic for Rulue but still.

(I had to put SO much respect on her name.)

Oh, and Schezo's here too, since Rulue got the role of a badass Samurai, what did Schezo get?

OUR BOY SCHEZO IS APPARENTLY THE VICE COMMANDER OF THE SHINSENGUMI, HIJIKATA TOSHIZO.

(Vice Commander ain't bad at all. Good on you Schezo. Apparently here, he really cares for his subordinates.)

Toshizo himself had an interesting history. He began off the youngest of 10 siblings, and was raised by his 2nd older brother and his sister-in-law. Spoiled as all hell, he was handsome, but rude to all who wasn't family or friends, until he saw a swordsman from another clan commit Seppeku. He went to that man's funeral and cried.

He spent most of his youth self teaching himself swordplay, and even became friends with the future leader of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isami. When the Shinsengumi were formed, it was him, Kondo, and two other men, however those two men were kinda assholes, and Toshizo found enough evidence to make one of them commit Seppeku, and assassinated the other. Yep. He did that.

After that, he and Kondo became the leaders of the Shinsengumi, where Toshizo was very strict on the rules, and even got the nickname of "The Demon Vice Commander," and fought in many battles in the Boshin War.

After Kondo was executed by enemy forces in April of 1868, Toshizo died in battle after giving his final farewell to his servant, as well as his katana, a death poem, as well as bits of hair and a photo of himself, in June of 1869. He knew he'd die in battle, but he'd rather die with his government than live with the shame. A week after his death, the war ended...

And that dude is Schezo now. Lmao.

Oh, and who's Kondo? The leader of the Shinsengumi?

Camus. I'm not kidding.

Schezo and Camus are a team. That sounds sick.

Oh, and not shown but characters who also make an appearance (because THE DANG 10 IMAGE LIMIT...):

Minotauros

Zombie

Incubus[?]

Panotty

Serilly

Draco

Nasu Grave

Suketoudara

Skeleton-T

After all this stuff occurs, the final boss of this game is...Owlbear. I mean, could be worse.

-----

After That...Lesson, How's the OST?

As the guy who listened to it...it's okay. Which isn't great for Madou standards. There's nothing honestly too standout, but you're not gonna mute the game from the songs themselves. Definition of passable.

It's honestly quite a tad disappointing that it doesn't have a banger OST, but we can make do with what we got.

-----

And Overall?

If you're willing to check out this game for its Japanese history and some of the wackiness of both Madou AND Jump Hero...I'd say check it out. The characters being played are fairly interesting, and the lore behind the actual people themselves are so...interesting.

And with that...hope you enjoyed this lesson. It was fun researching the game.

#madou monogatari #schezo puyo puyo #japanese translation #puyo puyo #sega #arle nadja #rulue puyo puyo #witch puyo puyo #japanese history #puyo #disc station #puyoposting #The History part is why this took 2 weeks...#schezo wegey

18 notes · View notes

cloudystevie · 3 years

Note

what about rough sex after big fight with chrissss

love u

feel like shitposting so

i feel like he wont even wanna look at you- and you dont wanna see his stupid face either

so he has you ass up face down and hes literally obliterating your pussy

pounding into you so hard the sound echoes throughout the room, his hand continuously coming down on your ass harshly

youre like

“i hate you so much” in between choked moans and he’s grunting-

“but this pussy fucking loves me”

and if you start talking too much shit he covers your mouth with his hand, pulling you up a little bit and its all so filthy and nasty and dirty

and obviously afterwards you two have a real conversation about the argument and yeah whatever im whoreknee tho

#chris evans smut #chris evans imagines #chris evans x reader #chris evans x reader smut #anon #cevans

457 notes · View notes

satans-left-asscheeky · 3 years

Text

Companions react to Sole picking up a plunger and X6 saying "I bet that brings back memories"

Original post

Maccready

"It brings back memories for me too... of that one time I ate way too much cram..."

Hes so confused like yeah plumbing was way better pre boom, but people still use the bathroom...?

Hancock

"What I wouldn't give for actual plumbing. Gotta say the bathroom situation in Goodneighbor leaves something to be desired... and I don't even have a nose..."

Seriously who tf pisses in a trash can? Nasty. Probably why there's always construction on those bathroom things by the entrance of goodneighborh.

Cait

"I know right? Must've been nice, actually havin' plumbing back then, but as far as I'm concerned just give me a hole and I'm good."

Shes serious too. She doesn't need anything fancy, but it still would be nice. no use wishin for something that's never gonna happen though.

Danse

"Glad to know the brotherhood is more advanced with our plumbing..."

Hes dead serious should you ever travel with both x6 and Danse everything is gonna turn into a dick measuring contest. Funny thing is if they could ever get over trying to out do eachother they actual have a lot in common.... (They both have a fetish for getting in and out of power armour)

Curie

"Oh fascinating Monsieur X6, could you tell me more about plumbing in the institute? Oh or if you've come up with a substitute for plumbing!"

She (like she does most things) finds a way to take data on the small talk that gets her into an hour long discussion on the institutes plumbing system with X6. She's thrilled.

Deacon

"Can tell you've never gone bald otherwise you'd be on a first name basis with plungers....

He's practically shitting himself whenever X6 is around because duh corser, but this actually was some much needed comedic relief.

Piper

"Woah, woah woah. The big bad institute death machine has never heard of a plunger? Ha no one is gonna belive that, but im still putting it in the paper anyway. Truth prevail or whatever."

She thinks it's honestly hilarious, and she's been looking for something a bit more light hearted to help keep spirits during such a depressing subject matter as the boogy man's assassin.

Nick

"Is there not plumbing back at the institute? With all there technology I think I'm a bit concerned you've never heard of a plunger...."

Is genuinely curious. He would like to know more about where he came from, not because he actually cares, but to better defend himself. On this one though he'll indulge his curiosity a bit.

Preston

"Good find general I bet we could use the material at one of the settlements!"

Doesn't even process what X6 said is more fascinated with the new piece of salvage. It isn't until sole starts laughing at X6 that he finally realizes and starts laughing along with them.

X6-88

"Ma'am/Sir I hardly see what you find amusing about that statement... Besides its so covered in irradiated vile how was I supposed to know what it was?"

Hes embarrassed. You got him good. He'd probably be adorning a slight blush and an unusual stutter to his voice. In retrospect what he said was kinda foolish and he can see that, but he's not gonna let you in on that.

(Not gonna lie might start writing more of these to go along with past shitposts because all though it's not the best quality I really enjoyed writing it lmfao)

85 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 3 years

Text

ANYWAY.

Current mood is contemplating an AU wherein Boone (yes that Boone, its been too long since a Dick and Boone shitpost so off we goooooooo) anyway, so AU wherein he graduates from his League of Shadows training around the same time Dick becomes Nightwing, and since I headcanon Boone having known who Dick really is for years because he’s not a complete dumbass and Dick Grayson is a fairly high profile figure and it doesn’t take a genius to look at a picture of him and recognize him as “aka Freddy Lloyd,” I mean, they did live together for weeks or even months.....

POINT IS, so Boone is all done with his training and sees Nightwing bigwigging it up with the Titans and then sees there’s a new Robin in Gotham, and all these thoughts come together in a perfect storm for Boone to be like LETS PLAY “WHAT IF I GO FUCK WITH FREDDY!”

SO. In this AU Nightwing and Shrike’s confrontation slash reunion happens before he ever moves to Bludhaven to be a solo act and when he’s still based out of New York, and actually takes place in Gotham during a period when Bruce is out of town on an extended mission or something, as this Shrike figure starts stalking Robin and Jason is like UMM HELP GIRL, I mean not that I need it CUZ I DON’T, but like if you want to come help with this weirdo I guess that’d be alright, we could hang, its cool.

So Dick trainsurfs down to Gotham all quick like a bunny and is like waaaaaait a minute, this guy calls himself Shrike? That’s weirdly specific, I knew another Shrike once......and Jason’s like maybe this is the same guy? And Dick’s just all umm no, he’s dead. He like, died and stuff. He made like a corpsicle. Definitely not him, its gotta be someone else....oh fucking hell, its Boone. Of course its Boone. Why did it have to be Boone?

And Jason’s like who the fuck is Boone?

Dick shushes him distractedly. Nobody. There is no Boone, only Zuul. Eat your vegetables.

Jason: You are the weirdest person alive, and that’s saying a lot, I live with Bruce. What is going on right now?

Dick: Nothing? *examines himself in a mirror that is actually just a broken piece of window glass procured from yon surrounding rooftops* Hey how does my hair look? Is it wavy enough? I feel like it could be more wavy.

Jason: Is your hair - what? Dude, is this Boone guy like your ex-boyfriend or something?

Dick: Please. As if. He wishes. Also I knew him when we were like twelve. Or eleven. Maybe ten. I forget. It was definitely pre-pubescent though.

Jason: That’s not a denial.

Dick: Its also not an admission and also stop being smart and insightful, its rude and I did not ask. Besides, its not like I’m trying to look good for Boone, eww, he’s a loser, I would never. I’m just trying to look BETTER than him.

Jason: Ahh. Well. That’s different then.

Dick: See? You get it.

Jason: Not even a little bit. If this is what puberty does to you I want no part in it.

Dick: Too late. Its already begun. I spy hairs on your chinny-chin-chin.

Jason: What kind of bizarre Three Little Pigs segue is.....who ARE you right now?

Dick: Stop victim-blaming me for my discombobulation! I haven’t seen Boone in years and he could be here any second now and he already has the lead, I can not let him confront me in a state less than poised, suave and sophisticated, its just the RULES.

Jason: Well you’re off to a stellar start. Why is it so important you win this whatever this is with whomever Boone is and also are you still going to therapy? I feel like maybe not and maybe that was a mistake.

Dick: You’re a terrible little brother, just the worst. And okay, look. Its complicated, see. I met Boone at a very specific time in my life when both of us were kinda floundering in that verb kinda way, not like the Little Mermaid kinda way.

Jason: Stop using similes. I’m begging you. It hurts.

Dick: THE POINT IS......we were both.....kinda lost, at the time. Aimless. Looking for purpose. And one of the things we both ended up kinda turning to in search of that purpose was like.....our natural competitiveness.

Jason: Wait. You’re competitive? You? OMG THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

Dick: I hate you. You are a blight upon the wheatfields of my soul. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I WAS MONOLOGUING. Okay. So. Boone and I, we kinda fell into this cycle of eternal competition, that was intensified by us not really having anything else that was OURS at the time, so it became sorta like....the only thing that mattered? If that makes sense?

Jason: Weirdly, that’s the first thing you’ve said all night that DOES make any sense. Okay. I’m keeping up. Continue.

Dick: So it was like constant one-upmanship. If I snuck in somewhere without a trace, he had to sneak in better. If he was unmoved by being surrounded by dead bodies and gore, I had to be more unmoved. If I escaped from a deathtrap in half the time expected, he had to halve that when it was his turn, and if he made it through an obstacle course while bleeding from a leg I had to beat him while bleeding from both legs, look it was this whole thing.

Jason: Wait, and you knew this guy when you were ten? Where the fuck did you two even MEET? Jason Voorhees’ Little Daycamp of Horrors?

Dick: ANYWAY. The point is everything is about competition with us, it always has been, and like, he’s the only person who was ever able to keep up with me at least at the time and just like I was the same for him, and so we hated each other because we were both mad at the world back then and hated everybody and everything, especially the one and only other guy who kept showing us up, but at the same time, we were closer to each other than anyone else in the world at the time because we were the only ones on each other’s same page and able to stay on that same page so there was like.....weird solidarity in that? Idk. I TOLD YOU IT WAS COMPLICATED.

Jason: No, its okay, I get it. So what happened?

Dick: Oh, our mentor died and Boone thought it was all my fault. His name was Shrike too and given that Boone’s here now and calling himself Shrike, I’m guessing he still does.

Jason: .....uh huh. Was it your fault?

Dick: Only a little bit! It was mostly gravity. That bitch.

Jason: Ooookay, not touching that one. So. In conclusion: he’s.....here to kill you then? Or he’s not here to kill you then.....?

Dick: Oh he’s here to kill me, but ONLY if he can beat me first. If he can’t beat me, then no, he’s not here to kill me, just whine, wangst and moan at me.

Jason: And by beat you, you mean at.....having wavy hair?

Dick: At EVERYTHING. Ugh, were you even paying attention?

Jason: Oh yeah. I’m SO glad we cleared all this up. Next time, just simplify and explain he’s your childhood frenemy turned actual nemesis.

Dick: Huh. Yeah, y’know what, that does pretty much cover it....

Jason: Who you totally want to bone due to unresolved and conflicting feelings stemming from your brief but intense time together in your formative years as well as and compounded by your neurotic obsessive attraction to hyper-competent individuals who challenge you on physical, mental and emotional and even moral levels.

Dick: What the....a) you’re wrong, b) STOP STEALING MY PSYCH TEXTBOOKS and c) you could not BE more wrong.

Jason: Your hair looks flat and lackluster. He’s totally gonna beat you there.

Dick: You’re the actual worst.

#boone aka shrike

316 notes · View notes

sylkhi · 3 years

Text

HEADCANON:

Nico saying "I smell like death and animals fear me for it" is incorrect. Here's reasons why:

1. It's really no secret at this point that Nico is the most powerful demigod alive in-canon. He's so powerful that he has enough reserve strength and vitality (after recovering as much as he possibly could from Tartarus, starvation, and using the seeds in the state he was in. You don't ever fully recover from things like those) to constantly have his fear aura and cryokinesis emanating low-key, kind of like his wavelength.

But, it's at its lowest when he's with Will/Jason/Hazel/Reyna/Gleeson/whoever you ship him with, but never fully off. The fact that he emanates an aura puts him one step closer to god than mortal by the way.

ANYWAY, the constant emanation of the fear aura definitely makes animals skittish, but as he doesn't really let it off when he's alone with animals, they crowd him and glomp him whenever he's alone with them.

2. A lot of the animals he interacts with are probably animals tied to gods who don't have the best of relationships with Hades.

This one should be pretty self-explanatory. When you make an enemy of a god, you make an enemy of practically everything they represent (imagine permanently pissing off Hygeia or Asclepius... yeah, let's not).

Think of Annabeth and cows. Her Bovine Majesty, Hera, that goat skin gal, Queen of the gods, doesn't like Annabeth, and cows, by extension, do not (why are there so many commas???). The difference here is that Hera actively does things to screw around with Annabeth, and the only thing stopping her from screwing up Annabeth's relationships and (eventual) marriage is Athena giving her the look. Enough about my Annabeth|Hera head-canons though.

So whenever Nico interacts with a horse and equine creatures, or an eagle, or a cow, they get skittish and violent because of the gods they're tied to not liking Hades, and by proxy, him (exception here is Zeus, who genuinely dislikes Nico and would kill him if that didn't mean dying at Hades' hands, quite literally btw).

3. Animals don't really fear death (itself), which Nico represents.

Here's an important distinction for you and a head-canon from me (one I might write a piece on): Hades' children are representations of death itself, while Thanatos' children, as children of the god of death, represent it's causes.

I don't want you to think of to confuse it with him repping death by old age (that would be children of Geras).

Anyway, all creatures seem to take comfort in death, and thus Nico. And when an animal is comfortable with you, it tends to either leave you to your business, or seek your attention.

This one is cracky and feels like something I'd write a piece for at 3AM when I can't sleep.

4. This one is about Artemis|Nico.

Basically, as a sort of apology to Nico cause she knew what it meant to take away the only person he had at the time (and for a long time, really), I head-canon that Artemis has marked Nico with one of her blessings (a boon for my Hades players out there).

This specific mark is the one that numbs wild animals'/animals with violent dispositions' instinct to attack creatures they perceive as "dangerous".

Animals aren't daft. They can tell a dangerous individual, and some attack on sight to get the upper hand. Of course, Nico is too powerful for a non-mythical beast to so much as scratch him (he wouldn't kill them, just scare them off).

Anyway, with the mark, wild animals basically act as their domestic counterparts would around Nico.

I head-canon that when he first started shadow-travelling and would wind up passed out on totally different continents or in different places, he woke up one day in Tsavo East National Park with man-eating lions (look it up, fairly interesting) curled up around him and purring.

Anyway, now that we've dived into my mind and swam steadily downwards, we've finally reached the bottom where one thing is left: SHITPOSTING. Let's do it.

Animals when nico's fear aura is on: I do not know this man. I could see him walking down the streets and I would not recognise him. Sorry to this m–

Animals when nico's fear aura is low: cuddle time. Time to cuddle. Yup. Did someone say snuggling? Come here, boyo *glomps said boyo*

Nico:

Nico: so do you like me or not???

Zeus [on mount olympus]: I think it's about time I sent an eagle to pluck his ey–

(ground rumbles)

Zeus [nervously]: *clears throat* –to pluck the twigs out of the boy's hair, why is he so bad with maintaining his hair?

(Will is doing some stuff for a Veterinarian son of kymopoleia. Nico accompanies him to the vet's like the supportive boyfriend he is)

Will: why are you covered in cats???

Nico [covered in cats and enjoying every second of it]: cause you're giving the dogs a check-up, doctor

(Will got turned on when nico said doctor, guys, don't blame me)

(Hades and Hera get into a cat fight. It's for a very petty reason; their pet peeves with each other's children)

Hades: time-out! Can't we just try to get along now that our boys are dating each other?

Hera [pensive; the expression looks fake]: *adjusts goat skin on shoulders*

Hera: . . . no

(Cat fighting continues)

(Snow-white!Nico AU with Reyna and Hazel as main supporting cast, Percy as prince, and Hera as misunderstood evil queen with her own character arc? Closer than you'd think)

Reyna: stop singing nico

Nico: why?

Hazel: You're covered in birds nico. BIRDS, PLURAL!

Nico: makes me even more fly :)

Percy: omg literally so hot *swoons*

Hera: *strokes cow behind ears* can we skip to the part where he eats the apple and gets trampled by my trusty cow?

(The story falls apart. Not even the Apollo kids can save it. Lesson is not to let the aphrodite cabin do storytime at the campfire).

Hazel: oh, I didn't know you had pets, Nico

Nico: I don't

Hazel: why all the random animals, then

Nico:

Nico: you're not trying to kick out my other visitors, are you

That's it, guys. Deuces. Yes, some of the head-canons here might feature in my next nico-centric (ooohhhhh, *interest sounds*).

I'd like to do more posts like these, but they're a bit time-consuming to write up. It's still so worth it though.

Should I do more like these? (The "head-canon/opinion dump-into-shitpost" format). You tell me. I mean, I'll still make them, just more frequently if yes is the answer.

79 notes · View notes

20rubixcubes · 3 years

Photo

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

#grumbles i guess i will tag #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen headcanons #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #kim sunoo x reader #yang jungwon x reader #nishimura riki x reader

132 notes · View notes

gypaetus-barbatus-meridionalis · 3 years

Text

I know this blog is mostly for spn and shitposts, but I’m too lazy to make a side blog so here is my headcanon for My Little Pony that no one asked for:

Discord is Chaos. You might say, “No shit Sherlock, he’s the god of chaos. In that one episode, Fluttershy literally said that he is a creature of pure chaos.” Well fuck you Watson, because that is not what I meant. Discord is Chaos, as in the ancient being in Greek mythology. Some say Chaos is either the primeval emptiness of the universe or the abyss of Tartarus, which is the lower of the two parts of the underworld *. Others say it is just the personification of nothingness, the first being to emerge form the void that was the universe back then. So some say Chaos is concept, some say a deity. I am obviously thinking deity. We know that Discord is immortal (he says ”I haven’t walked that far in a millennia” in the episode where he, Trixie, Thorax, and Starlight save the Mane 6 from the changelings) but what if he had always existed? He knows pretty much everything about the ancient monsters the Mane 6 fight, and some of those monsters are from Greek mythology (The Minotaur and the sirens who technically were shown in Equestria Girls but they originated from the pony universe). If he was there as those creatures came into existence, he will know more about them than some horses in their 20s. Now, according to The Creature World Wiki, “The six Draconequus Spirits are chaos elementals each embodying an aspect of destruction. The Draconequus Spirits are spread across the multiverse and vary in appearance and power. The most well known of the Draconequus Sprits is the spirit of chaos Discord, former ruler of The Creature World.” so you might think Oh well then your headcanon is wrong. Ahahahahahaha no. This is where I kind of stretch my hc a bit. So Discord is in Witness Protection. No, hear me out. Chaos is the first being of the universe, which means there must be a LOT of people (ponies?) and creatures trying to take his power and/or kill him. Many creatures target the princesses of Equestria, why not target the first living being and its power? So he decided to disguise himself as Discord, a Draconnequus. He takes the form of this creature and limits himself to not showing anyone his full power. (Gabriel tried to do this when disguising as Loki in Supernatural, and he only failed because Castiel knew his shit.) Now about Grogar. Discord was temporarily disguised as Grogar, a ram who said he ruled Equestria long ago and created monsters to terrorize the ponies. He was known as the ‘Father of Monsters’. Interesting that Discord chose to present as Grogar. What if Discord started out disguised as a powerful ram sorcerer but after Gusty The Great banished him with the Bewitching Bell he decided to take on a different form? He may have stored some of his power in the bell so no one will realize he is too powerful to simply be a sorcerer. As for the ‘Father Of Monsters’ thing: In Greek Mythology, Chaos’s offspring are Erebus (Darkness) and Nyx, the personification of night. Night and Darkness would terrorize the ponies easily. Things would freeze much more easily without light. Also they would get no Vitamin D (which keeps bones, teeth and muscles healthy) if the sun was covered by darkness. But most importantly no light means no plants (they’d lose a third of the planet’s oxygen because of this), all herbivores would die because of no plants, and then all carnivores/omnivores would die because of no prey or plants. All living creatures would die. This obviously includes all of the ponies. Maybe Night and Darkness would cover the sun for days or weeks at a time, watching things get weaker, sick, and even die. Discord would be unaffected, being immortal. So yeah, Discord is actually Chaos, the primeval being from Greek mythology. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Note: One resource said Chaos takes the form of a female, and to that I say: genderfluid or trans :) Sources for Chaos: Source 1, Source 2, Source 3 Source for Draconequus: Source Source for Tartarus because it has been along time since I read Percy Jackson: Source Source for if the sun never rose again: Source

*(Fun Fact: Tartarus is where the gods locked up their enemies in Greek mythology, and we know the Main 6 go to there and see a bunch of locked up monsters. Maybe the gods locked up most of their enemies before the alicorns existed and a few escape from time to time and that’s how they reach Equestria. Or maybe the alicorns are just gods, and when a pony becomes an alivorn they become a literal god. They are immortal after all.)

#my little pony #mlp #my little pony: friendship is magic #discord #greek mythology #chaos #mythology #took me forever to type this shit #long post

11 notes · View notes

ironmandeficiency · 4 years

Text

... that’s a bug

pairing: hardcase / medic!reader

word count: 858

summary: your boyfriend is taking too much of general skywalker’s words to heart.

a/n: prompt # 12 is now complete!!! i love this chaotic man and i’m excited to take this prompt in a different direction than what i first thought. can be read as part of the “all’s fire in love and war” universe but it isn’t necessary. to see more shitpost prompts, go here

it was day three on this cursed jungle planet and you were this close to ripping your hair out. the air stayed at an almost constant one hundred percent humidity and even without the humidity it would have been sweltering. part of you was a little bit envious of the few other female officers that had the luxury of not having to worry about hygiene to do their jobs, able to strip to the minimum layers that still keep them properly covered.

the woes of a medic never seemed to end.

thank the stars for hardcase. if it weren’t for him keeping you distracted with his loud jokes and knack for wandering a bit too close to dangerous plants for your liking, you probably would have lost your patience long ago.

“babe? hey, babe! look!” your attention is pulled away by hardcase holding a stick in front of him, the end extended towards you draped with a bug you were loath to get close enough to identify. “it has matching stripes!” his grin is infectious and so after convincing him to stop shaking the stick so much, you lean over it and try to identify the species.

then the damned thing is snatched from its perch on the stick by a gloved hand. the action was followed by a sickening slurp that sent a chill down your spine. hardcase was frozen in a look of horror, upset that his little friend was now gone and digested by-

“thanks for that, hardcase,” general skywalker grinned, wiping a drop of fluorescent yellow bug guts from the corner of his mouth. “haven’t seen one of these in years. almost forgot how sweet they were. if you see any more of those guys, lemme know.” with that, the general sauntered off happily, his little snack seeming to have lifted his spirits slightly.

you were both dumbfounded at the events that just transpired. your boyfriend was going through all five stages of grief for his little bug friend as well as shock from the fact his general just ate a raw bug. just plucked it from its little stick and slurped it like a noodle as if this was absolutely normal.

the only thing you can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all until you’re out of breath and lean on hardcase, clutching your side. eventually he joins in with the same abandon, the both of you soon sitting on the ground and holding each other amid your cackling. there were a few stares and questions as to what had reduced the soldier and medic to hysterics, but no answer came so they just let you be.

--------

day five in the jungle and your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. he told you to meet him at his shared tent at 1800 earlier that day, and he was never late to your rendezvous before. sure it was only ten after, but you were still a smidge worried. maybe he was looking for you in the medbay; it would be odd because of the agreement but not unheard of, sometimes he wanted to surprise you early.

you were halfway there when your foot caught on something -or rather, someone- and sent you to the ground in a flailing heap.

“shit, sugar! i’m so sorry!” hardcase was apparently the person in question and he was immediately hovering over you, making sure you weren’t hurt. his hands were gentle as he checked over you, his honey eyes glistening with concern.

then your eyes catch on a smear along his bottom lip. it was fluorescent yellow and oddly familiar. did he… no he didn’t!

a crunching sound erupts beside you and general skywalker’s voice interrupts your thinking. “delicious! finally, some good fucking food!” there’s more smacking and crunching as his hands continue to scour the dirt for more crawly snacks.

“general,” you tentatively reply, “that’s a bug.”

he’s nonchalant as he answers your concern with a shrug. “yeah, good food.”

your eyes meet hardcase’s, your face saying everything you couldn’t find the words to express. the prevailing thought was what the fuck but there was an underlying i’m not kissing him until i’m sure he’s got all the bug gunk out that you weren’t going to stray from.

“he told us to feed off the living force, babe,” your boyfriend clarifies as his hands return to the soil, combing through it in search of something to eat. this was absolutely disgusting but you still found yourself sitting and watching the men find more bugs.

it could be worse. they were relatively neat and chewed with their mouths closed. after a little bit of small talk occasionally interrupted by a “ooh, try this one!” from either man. one glance at your boyfriend, however, ended the relative peace. he had some sort of bug hanging out of his mouth like a tooka with a fishtail flapping about.

that was it, he wasn’t getting laid until you were off of this damned planet and he flossed consistently for over a week. there was no way you were going to chance getting any leftover bug... anything in your mouth.

#hardcase #clone trooper hardcase #hardcase x reader #clone trooper hardcase x reader #star wars reader insert #star wars fanfic #star wars imagines #star wars the clone wars #star wars #anakin skywalker #anakin eats live bugs #bug munchers #this is a crack fic #shitpost fics #shitpost fic masterlist #shitpost writing prompts #if it crunch it lunch

216 notes · View notes

witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years

Text

Dimmed Lights (Pt.2)

-------------------------

It had been about a month since Remus' wedding, Roman was starting school soon.

Roman despised school.

Soulmates kissing in the halls, marks so bright it was almost blinding. Students asking him why he hadnt found his soulmates yet, asking why his markings were oh so dull.

But his least favorite thing about the school, was the school's favorite power couple.

Roman had known for a while that goth kids were going to end up taking over one day, but this just proved it.

Janus Belgrave was a year above Roman, he was tall and he had heterochromia and canines that were so sharp they might as well have been knives. He always seemed to know everything about a person by looking at them. He was always wearing a hat or a cape, regardless of dress code formality. He had a soul mark shaped like purple and black flowers down one side of his face.

Virgil Liddell was in the same grade as Roman. He was short and shy but he could probably drop kick someone if they made him feel even the slightest bit threatened. He had bright lilac eyes and darker purple hair. His soul mark was in the form of a two-headed snake that wrapped around his neck and collarbone.

The two of them always wore much more clothing than Roman would have deemed necessary, and would get very defensive when asked about it. But, goth kids were weird, so he wasnt going to judge.

Roman sat on his bed, staring at the rows and rows of clothing in his closet. He supposed it was a good thing he didnt have to try fitting himself in there to. After a long while Roman finally decided on a red hoodie with two white stripes in the middle as well as stripes down the sleeves, a pair of shorts, and black boots.

"Roman! Breakfast!" Roman's mother called from downstairs. Roman let out a sigh that wouldve been worthy of an oscar had the timing been convenient. He rushed down the stairs and stuffed his face quickly.

The bus ride wasnt much different than usual, Roman head his head pressed against the window, that way it was much harder to see any of his classmates soul marks.

It was stupid that they were able to find soul mates so young in his opinion, why didnt the marks just develop over time instead? Why couldnt they just be kids without having to worry about who their soulmates would be? But of course, Roman had decided that his lack of understanding for soul mate ages must have just been his jealousy talking. After all, how was a boy with no soul mate supposed to know anything about finding one.

He also supposed that having no friends didnt help that. After all, people with soul marks tended to avoid the Soulless like the plague, it was incredibly rare for someone to be born with no mark at all, and they didnt want to risk that spreading.

So Roman sat alone, every day, during class, lunch, breaks. And he pretended not to care, pretended he didnt notice the suspicious glances the others gave his tattoos, or the rumors or the laughing or anything else that the school tried to throw at him.

"Is this seat taken?" Roman looked away from the window. In front of him was a person with short pastel blue and purple hair, a white dress with a mint green belt and sleeve-straps, and white boots, as well as round glasses with clear frames.

"No, of course not," Roman said simply. The person sat down, fixing their hair slightly.

"I'm Hestia, she/her," Hestia smiled.

"Roman, he/him," Roman said, and then he noticed what seemed to be white lines etched across Hestia's skin.

Hestia seemed to have noticed the staring, because she pulled a jacket over the markings soon after.

"They arent soulmarks if that's what you're thinking, I dont have any, these are from something else," she said, looking away slightly.

"Oh- I didnt mean-" Roman rubbed the back of his neck slightly. Finally, he pulled down the side of his jacket and shirt to show off the tattoos. Hestia's eyes widened and she smiled slightly.

"Are they nicer here? The middle school was never very nice about it," Hestia said, Roman bit his lip slightly.

"Well, they arent rude necessarily, but of course you must know how it is for us," he said sadly.

"Yeah. . . It's so stupid, we can still have relationships, even if we dont have soulmarks, after all they're just for relationships that or more than ordinary friendship, it's not like having no markings means I cant make someone a cake or something," Hestia said bitterly, scratching at the lines on her arms.

"Yeah, and does it make sense to you that we have them from birth? Like why do children have to worry about suddenly glowing in the middle of the playground. It seems a bit contrived if you ask me," Roman said.

"Yeah! I know a person who found their soulmate when they were in sixth grade!" Hestia said. People on the bus were giving the two of them scandalized looks, but at this point Roman didnt really care. He finally had someone to talk to who was like him, who agreed with him and didnt think it was a brutal tragedy that he had no marks.

As the bus ride neared its end Roman and Hestia exchanged numbers, she was a freshman and he was a junior so they knew they were unlikely to have any classes together, but both had agreed that they would meet up after school when they could manage.

But now that he was off the bus, it was back to acting like a terrified gazelle in a jungle of stripes and spots.

Of course, Roman was used to that feeling.

What he wasnt used to was being shoved against a locker by a man a little less than a foot shorter than him, kissed, and then left standing confused in the middle of what seemed to be a very intense argument.

"See! I told you I can catch people off guard! I'm not that loud!" From the looks of it, Goth² was having a very intense debate, and Roman seemed to have found himself right in the center.

"I didnt say you couldnt at all, I just said you're not very good with subtlety," Janus replied, smirking. Virgil's face seemed to be going redder by the minute.

"Oh like you're so good at sneaking around with your- height!" Janus let out a laugh.

"Aaawww, is the chihuahua mad because the Great Dane's better at pranks?" Janus said, ruffling Virgil's hair.

Roman coughed slightly, he hadnt meant to do it, but it seemed to get the two boys attention very easily.

"Ah- yes, Virgil, mind explaining so the damsel you've distressed doesnt think hes ruined a relationship?" Janus said, Roman's face went scarlet.

"Sorry- yeah I couldve probably gone with something else but I'm not exactly a quick thinker ok!" Virgil said, pouting.

"O-oh its alright-" Roman said, trying to cover the rapid blush spreading across his face.

"How about this, to make it up to you, why dont you sit at lunch with us? You're always sitting alone and I highly doubt that its healthy for you," Janus said, smiling.

Roman froze like a deer in headlights, all he could think to do was nod and accept the slips of paper handed to him by the two boys.

"What. The fwuh. Just happened." Was all he could say when they left.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@sasmeo-bisaster

@sleepy-sphinx

@meowthefluffy

@coconut-cluster

@youtuberswithalex

@astronomical-bagel

@thecolorfulolive

@teamplutoforlife

@treeni

@gothfoxx

@jungle321jungle

@astronomical-bagel

@shitpost-sides

@loveyatothemoonandback

@boobmaster69

@faycanyons

@maryann-draws

@melodiread

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@a-slimyboi

@moxy--sanders101

#cori writes #long post #dimmed lights au #ts virgil #ts sides #ts remus #ts roman #ts janus #hestia sable #tw school #school tw #school #tw kissing #kissing tw #kissing #anxceit #romantic anxceit

64 notes · View notes

7grandmel · 9 months

Text

Todays rips: 06/08/2023

INDUSTRY KNIGHT and INDUSTRY KNIGHT (Beta Mix)

Season 7 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume Ruby

Ripped by BobTheTacocat

Season 7 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume Ruby One Fateful Knight (Beta Mix) - Shovel Knight

Ripped by Blookerstein

youtube

Yeah, doing something a bit different for today - a double feature of two rips. The reason is pretty simple - INDUSTRY KNIGHT didn't feature any visuals, wheras INDUSTRY KNIGHT (Beta Mix) adds visual and slight audio edits to build further on the joke. You can't have one without the other, so I decided to just feature both. Also worth noting - the "Secret SiIva" series of albums aren't official SiIvaGunner album releases, as its an event organized between the team's internal staff rather than a publicized part of the channel.

Anyway - April Fools 2023 was, as I've covered before, an event entirely based around adding to, referencing or remixing previously made rips, as a celebration of the channel's entire history. This celebration included rips already made earlier in the season, and such was the case with INDUSTRY KNIGHT - a rip covering the entirety of Lil Nas X's Industry Baby in the style of Shovel Knight. Beyond being an excellent mashup and melodyswap in its own right, this is one of those rips that goes above and beyond to cover the ENTIRE journey of Shovel Knight, much like Story of Undertale did for Undertale. The excellent use of sound effects tying the different Shovel Knight level themes together ties it all together, and makes it a wonderfully varied listen. That, however, is not where the story ends.

INDUSTRY KNIGHT (Beta Mix) takes BobTheTacocat's already above-and-beyond arrangement, and leads the joke to its natural conclusion. See, Industry Baby was, and to some degree still is, often used in "fandom Slander" videos - those types of shitpost compilations that make fun of fanbases of various vaguely-related topics in a lighthearted way to various reaction gifs? What we have here is exactly one of those - a Slander video on Indie Gaming as a whole, set to an indie-game rendition of a song heavily associated with the meme. The end result is, as commenters have pointed out, an absolute loveletter to indie games as a whole, and the ridiculous parts of the games we love. No game is belittled, no fanbase is looked down upon - its nothing but pure, good fun set to an amazing tune.

As pointed out to me by a commenter, on top of everything, INDUSTRY KNIGHT (Beta Mix) even subtly remixes the rip its building upon to sound more like the slander videos its paying tribute to!! My hat goes off to Blookerstein in putting these silly shitpost GIFs all together - with the sheer variety of games on display, I was convinced this would've been a collaborative effort, yet everything in these two rips appears to be by just these two people!

Good shit, you two! Good, good shit.

17 notes · View notes

maggyoutthere · 3 years

Text

It's funny how I'm actually putting effort on this. I'm putting actual effort on a shitpost.

Anyways I said I'd write a bad sonic creepypasta so here it is. Here's the catch: I like how its turning out so imma make it a 2-pary story. This is the first part. It doesn't have any scary shit but it has the basics for a shitty creepypasta: someone gets a old pirated/unreleased/defective game and tries them out despite getting warned that bad shit might happen.

Again I'm not a fluent English speaker so expect some grammar error and stuff like that ._.,

So ladies, gentlemen and non-bis, I present to you-

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 1)

Synopsis: Teen gets nostalgic mid-quarentine and starts playing old Sonic games. She asks for some cheat codes and shit happens.

So for context; I'm a 17 year old girl stuck home because of quarantine.

It had been 4 or 5 months since the virus sent everyone home. Students were playing Animal Crossing and DOOM all day to fill in the summer hours since no one could go outside. I never liked going to the beach so I was never really bothered by it.

Like many people, I found myself going back in time to easier phases of my life. I was rewatching old cartoon shows from my childhood, getting into MCR and P!ATD and just living in pure nostalgia. I also started getting into gaming again, even going to the point of setting up my Wii again just to play Epic Mickey, but I didn't exactly grow up with the Wii. I was more of a Playstation kid, so much that me and my bro got a Playstation 2 from our cousin when he eventually bought the 3rd one for himself.

My cousin was older than us; I remember him being 16 or 17 when I was like 12, so he was kind of our gaming hero. If there was a level in Crash Bandicoot we couldn't beat, we'd call my cousin and he'd do it in 15 minutes. He knew all the cheat codes, all the secret levels and extra content for the games he had; he was like a genius to me and my lil bro, so when he gave us his old Playstation 2 and games me and my sibling knew we were in for a treat.

We got this Sonic Gems Collection for the Playstation 2 from him. It's like a port of various older Sonic games like Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and so on. I grew up playing that game, especially Sonic The Fighters since I wasn't very good at the racing games.

I still had a working controller and a lot of free time so I asked my bro for help setting up the console. The thing was so dusty I was actually scared it wasn't going to work. We clicked the power button and the light on the console turned on. Me and my brother held our breaths as we put the DVD in the console and crossed our fingers. As the screen lit up with the SEGA logo and music started playing, I just hugged him and cheered. He set up the console in my room so I could play without having to go to his room (he was the one keeping all the electronic stuff) and told me to have fun.

I didn't even know where to start. There was so much I wanted to play now that I actually knew what I was doing. I thought about starting with my favourite one out of the bunch: Sonic CD. I'm a sucker for the retro 2D pixel games so that was a must. It was better than what I remembered; the music was so catchy and the art style was vibrant and it stood out from a lot of games nowadays that go for a washed out "hyper realistic" look.

As I kept playing, I eventually reached the level where Amy tags along with Sonic for a while before Metal Sonic bursts through a wall and kidnaps her. Oh yeah, Metal Sonic was a thing. I remembered him from Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters - and the fact he was in the fucking cover art of the DVD case. I absolutely loved the fucker in the games though. He had a cool design, and the idea of the villain being a copy of the hero gone wrong was so interesting to me at the time.

I ended up passing the level and even making it to Stardust Speedway. I was sweating since I'd never come this far at any game. My bro was there cheering me as I tried not falling on spikes or getting hit by Metal Sonic's attacks. I ended up making it till the end on top, but it was kinda sad seeing Metal crash face-first against the door like that.

I was done with that for a while, so I went ahead and played Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters for nostalgia. Again, the fucker was there, either as a boss or as an unlockable character. I ended up noticing how there were a bunch of games missing. There were empty grayed slots with question marks instead of the game titles. I couldn't understand if the game was broken or if there was something I was supposed to do, so I called my cousin in hope he would somewhat tell me what to do. He ended up explaining how the game made you complete all the other games to unlock new ones. I thought that was kinda stupid so I asked him if he had any cheat codes or something to make the whole thing available. He told me he was going to dig up his old stuff and ring me again if he found anything.

A few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he'd found something that should work. He told me he did have a cheat code but he thought it was best if I didn't do it. Here's the transcript from his message.

"There's something that might work but it's kinda weird. I got this memory card from a friend of mine and he said this should unlock all the hidden contents within the disc, but when I tried it some weird shit started happening. Most of the sonic games were unplayable no matter how many times I restarted the console or cleaned the disc. There should be an extra game slot but that's just a glitch. Something about the system trying to make up storage for the extra code. Just don't click on anything that looks like a glitch and you should be golden"

Well that was a bit discouraging, but we agreed to meet that afternoon so he could give me the memory card.

When I got home and plugged the cartridge into the slot on the console, I was kinda scared. What if the thing exploded or something? I gave it a try and the thing actually worked! As I clicked on the games section, everything was there! There were some vectorman games but I didn't know who that was at the time so I didn't really care about them. What I was more interested in was the museum. There were a bunch of unlockable promotional art and illustrations there that I never got to see as a kid, so you could imagine how joyful I was when I saw the museum section filled with pages upon pages of illustrations and renderings of the games. Some of them weren't even on the Gems Collection like some screenshots of Sonic Heroes.

I went back on the game menu and was surprised to see another game entry below all the vectorman ones. It was called "Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood". What the hell was this? It surely wasn't in the cover art and a quick google search turned up nothing. Was it a glitch? It couldn't be; it looked too clean and intentionally made to be a glitch, not to mention that whole game titles don't just appear out of thin air. Game or not, something was programmed in there. I concluded it was probably someone's fan project that was in the memory card my cousin gave me. Why hadn't he mentioned it though?

I was too curious to turn down a mystery like this one, so I got up first to make a cup of coffee since it was already getting late. As I returned from the kitchen, I remembered to look at the synopsis of the game. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something along the lines of:

"In this sequel to the famous Sonic CD, step in the shoes of Sonic's friends as they face their biggest challenge yet. Control Amy Rose and Miles "Tails" Prower and fight against the metallic faker himself, Metal Sonic, and stop him before he puts his plan to become the only Sonic in action"

Woah, that sounded exciting; I wasted no time. I got all cozy, kept my cup of coffee next to me

And pressed START.

To be continued in part 2

#sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #creepypasta #creepy story #short story #sonic gems collection #sonic: battle of metal and blood #battle of metal and blood #maggy moment #shhh i actually like how its turning out #i'm not that good at writing but this is the best i've written in a while

13 notes · View notes

steponmepinkjun · 3 years

Note

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

5 notes · View notes

nitewrighter · 4 years

Text

Gency Week Day 7: “Forest”

GOOOODDD Remember how I said this fic was passing like a kidney stone? I just needed to get this fic out of my system but I couldn’t write anything other than shitposts and chatfics for DAYS. So sorry for any sloppiness. The Russian Taiga, Lone Wolf Hanzo, Pregnancy-detecting wolves, and abusive childhoods making unreliable narrators of us all.

----

The four of them had been driving for several hours. The sky was gray and the trees whipped by the van’s windows in a seemingly endless whirl of dark-blue green and gray. It was a cool summer in the Taiga, the air dense with oxygen and the moisture of the pines, drenching the interior of the lungs with a clean cold freshness with every breath.

“So these guys aren’t part of the Hanzo spy network?” said McCree, rolling his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Must you call it a spy network?” said Hanzo.

“It is sort of a spy network,” Mercy piped up from the backseat.

“Not everyone I came into contact with in my travels is some... master of espionage,” said Hanzo, “I just... promised I would return here someday and well, so long as we’re still in this area of Russia--”

“For the other spies in the spy network,” McCree cut in.

“...as long as we’re still in Russia, I should make good on that promise,” said Hanzo.

“And?” said Genji, expectantly. Mercy and McCree exchanged glances. Genji at this point had made it a frequent habit to pull Hanzo off to the side and converse-slash-bicker with him in Japanese, but it seemed to be getting Hanzo to open up more to them.

“And... I thought... it might be enjoyable,” said Hanzo.

“And it’s going to be great--” Genji half-overlapped with Hanzo as he spoke.

Hanzo lifted his chin sightly at the sight of one sign in Russian, “The next turn,” he said, and McCree nodded. The next turn was onto an unpaved road, and the whole van rumbled with what was clearly an overly weathered mag-lev cable underneath the dirt. The road twisted deep into the pines, and Genji’s visor brightened.

“You know what this reminds me of?” said Genji as the van rumbled.

“Mm?” Hanzo looked over his shoulder at him.

“The back roads Father took into Shirakami Sanchi back when he was training us--do you remember?” said Genji.

Hanzo snorted a little, “Don’t worry, this won’t be that bad,” said Hanzo.

“...‘That bad?’” Genji tilted his head but Hanzo perked up as they pulled up to a large sign arching over the road.

“We’re here,” the slight smile in Hanzo’s voice was unmistakeable as McCree parked the van. The four of them stepped out and stretched, Mercy pulling on a jacket in the chilly forest air. She gave a glance up to the sign.

“Tsarapatsosna Gray Wolf Reserve,” Mercy read the arching sign, she looked back at Hanzo, “Wolf reserve?” but Hanzo was already walking under the sign towards a log-cabin styled office with several fenced areas branching off of it. Mercy looked to McCree and McCree just shrugged.

A bell rang on the door of the office as Hanzo stepped into it. There was a late 20-something woman with short-cropped periwinkle dyed hair and oversized noise-cancelling headphones scrolling through a tablet at the desk. McCree examined the office--it was about what you would expect from a remote conservation outpost--outdated technology, disheveled filing, a musky smell of taxidermy emanating from a stuffed mink looking down at them from atop a filing cabinet. The girl with the massive headphones didn’t even look up until Hanzo rang the bell on the desk. She pushed her headphones up off of one ear but then her eyes brightened at the sight of a familiar face.

“Hanzo?” one corner of her mouth quirked up in a grin, “Is that you?”

Hanzo gave a smiling nod and a high pitched, “Ha!” escaped her as she pushed up from her desk and brought her headphones down around her neck like a torc. “It’s been too long! Ilya’s going to go crazy!”

“I like the new color, Kira,” said Hanzo, motioning to his hair.

“And I love this!” said Kira, stepping around the desk and pointing at Hanzo’s undercut, “So ‘cool guy,’ yeah?” Her Russian accent was just thick enough for her to hit her consonants in an appealingly hard way.

Hanzo chuckled. “I learned from the best,” said Hanzo.

Kira scoff-laughed and gave him a playful punch in the arm. Her glance trailed over to McCree, Genji, and Mercy. “Your friends?”

“This is my brother, Genji, and my friends, Angela, and Jesse,” said Hanzo, gesturing at them.

“Howdy,” McCree gave an awkward wave.

“Brother?” Kira repeated and looked over at Genji, “You had a brother this whole time!?”

“He is hard to keep in contact with!” quipped Genji.

Kira snorted. “Da, at least my idiot brother sticks around, but Ilya’s been mooning over Hanzo ever since he left, I think he’s the one starting half the howls around here.”

“Leaving a trail of broken hearts everywhere you go, huh Hanzo?” said McCree

“We never---” Hanzo started but the door opened and a man looking a bit older than Kira with a nose bridge piercing and his hair piled in a chestnut bun briskly stepped in.

“Kira, чей фургон снаружи? У нас не было--” the man caught himself off as he made eye contact with Hanzo. “HANZO!” he lunged forward and caught Hanzo in a big bear hug which Hanzo was, shockingly, receptive to.

“It’s good to see you too, Ilya,” said Hanzo, patting him on the back.

“You barely write anymore! You spend 2 months here and then disappear! We worry so much and all I have is postcards!” said Ilya, bracing his hands on Hanzo’s shoulders.

“Postcards?” McCree mumbled under his breath.

Ilya gasped, “Your hair!”

“That’s what I said!” said Kira.

“Is a good look!” said Ilya.

“I hope my friends and I aren’t causing too much of a disturbance dropping in unannounced like this--” Hanzo started.

“Eh, no, it’s slow today,” said Ilya. He looked over at McCree, Genji and Mercy, “Your friends?”

“Jesse, Genji, and Angela,” said Kira, gesturing at each of them to fill him in, “Genji’s his brother.”

“You have a brother!” Ilya clapped his hands together but his sights trailed over to Genji’s scarred face. Hanzo’s stomach tightened for a minute, but Ilya quickly switched gears back to his jovial self rather than ask about the origins of the scars. He cleared his throat. “Ilya Novikov. You’ve already met my charming sister, Kira.”

Kira gave a wave from where she was leaning against the desk.

“You and your friends want to see the boys? They missed you.” said Ilya.

“We would love to,” said Hanzo.

“Waivers,” said Kira, holding up several papers completely in Russian.

“Ah, yes, waivers,” said Ilya catching himself.

After about three minutes of winging some Russian-to-English translations and Ilya feverishly promising that the wolves would not, in fact, “eat their faces,” the four of them had their waivers signed.

Ilya clapped his hands together, “Good! Good! Come! They will be so excited!”

He rushed out the door and Hanzo gave a glance back to McCree, Genji, and Mercy. “Sorry, I should have let you answer as well.”

“No, this is great!” said Genji, “I’d love to meet the wolves you worked with!”

“I’d like to,” said Mercy, “But I’m still... processing all this.”

“Yeah--Okay, okay, okay--back up,” said McCree, taking his hat off as they walked out the door after Hanzo, “You... you spent 2 months in a Russian wolf reserve!?”

“Much of their permanent residents are actually wolfdogs,” said Hanzo, walking briskly to keep up with Ilya.

“A Russian wolf reserve,” McCree repeated, walking after him.

“...remote location, heated cabins, just enough plumbing to get by, work to keep me occupied,” Hanzo looked over at McCree and Mercy, who were looking at him completely dumbfounded, “You didn’t think I was spending the whole time sleeping under bridges and quietly disposing of the bodies of my would-be assassins?!”

“Well, this is a side of you I’m glad to see,” said Mercy, folding her arms with a smile.

“Who doesn’t like a dog person?” said McCree with a grin as they caught up with Ilya, who was standing outside a chain-link fence that spanned a large area dotted with pines, but where the duff of pine needles had clearly been packed down more with both human and wolf footsteps.

“Lots of wolfdogs with the Crisis,” Ilya explained as they walked along the fence of the enclosure, “Omnics displace people, pets run away, nature reclaims abandoned towns, dogs fuck with the wolves, make wolfdogs. This enclosure is all the older ones. More used to people. Good for kids. Good for bringing funding.”

“Ah, we’re getting the fluffy tourist treatment,” said McCree.

“Is still big animals!” said Ilya. He suddenly perked up and pivoted back at them, walking backwards. He seemed to give a quick glance over at everyone’s outfit. “Good clothing. Yes. No danglies--not too tight--Jesse, your name was?”

“Yes?” said McCree.

“No hats,” said Ilya, and McCree took off his hat and set it on a supply locker near the enclosure, “The wolves. They like to steal things. And then tear them apart. Then bury them,” Ilya suddenly perked up. “Ah! Miss Angela! Important question: You are pregnant?” said Ilya, looking at Mercy.

“Excuse me?!” said Mercy reddening.

“My apologies, my English is ehhh....” Ilya made a ‘so-so’ motion with his hand, “What I’m saying is--The wolves, they know when you are pregnant. They act weird. They bring you food. They always know.”

Mercy’s mouth drew to a thin, crooked line with her bemusement, “No, I’m not pregnant,” she said with a slight chuckle.

“No hats and pregnancy detection. Got it,” said McCree, putting his hands on his hips.

A large brown wolfdog with three legs hop-walked in from the trees. It spotted Hanzo and suddenly bound towards the chain-link fence, rising up on its back legs and rattling the fence as it put one paw on it.

“Shoko!” said Hanzo, putting his hand to the chain-link and letting the wolf-dog sniff it, “She’s still here?”

“Of course!” said Ilya, “This is her home!”

The wolfdog whined and rattled the chain-link, drawing the attention of her pack, who all slowly padded in from the various tree and shrub covered areas they were sniffing about.

“Hanzo, you should go in first, get them warmed up to people, yeah?” said Ilya.

“Of course,” said Hanzo, stepping in. The gate was constructed in sally-port fashion, with another gate inside a fenced off area so that Hanzo could have the gate shut behind him before entering the enclosure. As soon as he stepped through that second gate he was beset on all sides by massive barking, sniffing bodies, roiling around him and yipping and some even prancing and rearing on their hind legs playfully at him. Mercy and Genji and McCree watched as Hanzo’s expression melted into pure warmth and even sputtered bouts of laughter as the wolves and wolfdogs sniffed and whined and butted into him. Hanzo, apparently well practiced in maneuvering with the pack’s attention on him, managed to shift the mass of furry bodies away from the sally port and he chatted to them, slipping between English and Japanese and even some Russian he had presumably picked up in working in this place. McCree honestly could have just watched him all day but Ilya elbowed him and gestured into the enclosure with a thumb. Mercy looked over at Genji, a slight smile on his scar-notched lips.

“We never got to have dogs, growing up,” said Genji, very quietly.

“Come on! Come on!” said Ilya, gesturing them in one at a time.

McCree entered and instantly a section of the pack swarming Hanzo broke off to sniff him. McCree nearly lost his balance as a wolf with splotchy-patterned fur knocked into him from the side.

“Oh they like you!” Ilya shouted from outside the fence.

Because he smells like Hanzo, thought Genji, stepping in to the enclosure after McCree. The wolves ears pricked up with the screech of the metal gate swinging, and a dozen brown, black, and yellow eyes regarded Genji with some curiosity. Genji moved to hold out his prosthetic hand, caught himself, then extended his organic hand. One silver wolf gave his hand a wary sniff before pushing his muzzle against Genji’s palm. Once the four of them were thoroughly sniffed, the pack broke apart slightly, several wandering off to resume sniffing or scratching at pines indifferent to their human visitors, but a good portion of them hung around, eager for pets and roughhousing.

“They are a lot bigger than they seem in the documentaries, aren’t they?” said Mercy as a cream-colored wolf stuck its full muzzle into the monopocket of her hoodie while a black wolfdog sniffed at her heels. The wolves seemed to be warming up to Genji as well, in spite of his prosthetics, sniffing at his jawline where his skin ended and cybernetic neck began. They were like dogs and yet not like dogs, sometimes remembering an aloof pride midway-through being pet and briskly walking away, but then coming back when they realized that that very distance they created was being respected. I can see why Hanzo would like you, thought Genji, scratching a wolf that wanted to be scratched, but didn’t want Genji to make eye contact while he was doing it. He glanced up at Hanzo, half-wrestling with Shoko, and the words Hanzo had said earlier hung in Genji’s mind like a loose thread off a sweater.

This won’t be that bad.

Genji glanced over to Mercy and McCree, still well-occupied with the wolfdogs swarming them, and walked over to Hanzo.

“Hanzo?” said Genji, dropping to a squat next to Hanzo as he rubbed Shoko’s belly.

“Yes?” said Hanzo, scratching the three-legged wolfdog under her chin.

“Sorry, I’m just... trying to clear something up--What you said back in the van... you didn’t like Shirakami-Sanchi?” said Genji.

“You’re not supposed to like it. Survival isn’t a game,” said Hanzo, glancing up at Genji. Shoko rolled herself back onto her stomach and pushed up under Hanzo’s arm to try and get his attention.

“I thought we did pretty well,” said Genji.

“Well you got to go play at being the agile hunter charging after squirrels and I had to actually find fresh water and build a fire for us,” said Hanzo, digging his hands into the ruff of fur at Shoko’s neck.

“...I thought you were okay with that,” said Genji.

“Well in a sense, yes, it kept you out of my hair, but I was also worried you’d do something stupid and hurt yourself and Father wouldn’t be there to rush to your rescue, so it would just be me, and---” Hanzo caught himself and his hand paused, still half-sunken into wolf fur. He looked up at Genji. “I’m sorry,” said Hanzo.

“No, I--I get it,” said Genji, glancing off.

He sighed and pulled his hand away, prompting Shoko to make a protesting growl-whine, “It’s wasn’t your fault. You were too young for it anyway. Father was mostly testing me.”

“...I thought it was the first time Father thought I could do something,” said Genji. I thought, I thought, I thought, the more Genji said the words the stupider he felt.

“He probably thought it would build character,” Hanzo conceded, “Of course it was just a fun adventure in the woods for his favorite.”

“But you didn’t like it,” said Genji.

Hanzo looked at Genji for a few seconds. “You, Genji. You were his favorite.”

A sputter of laughs escaped Genji but quickly faded as he read Hanzo’s face. “Oh you... you actually think that,” said Genji.

“Think that?! It was obvious!” said Hanzo, “Father always liked you better because you took after Mother more--that’s why he went easier on you.”

“Went easy on-- He just thought he couldn’t trust me with anything! He thought I was a failure! You were the perfect first-born!” said Genji.

“I wasn’t his son, I was his heir! He was only ever... molding me to be like him! He actually smiled with you! He called you ‘Sparrow!’”

“Sparrow was an insult,” said Genji, plainly.

Hanzo’s brow crinkled and his eyes pinched with confusion. “What? No it wasn’t.”

“‘Genji, you never apply yourself to anything. You’re always flitting between meaningless distractions. This way and that. Like a sparrow,’” Genji imitated Sojiro’s tone almost perfectly.

Hanzo glanced down, “No, no, that can’t be right,” he muttered, “Sparrows are lucky!”

“Sparrows are pests,” said Genji.

“You were always laughing!”

“Well, yes,” said Genji, he rubbed the back of his neck, “I... got very good at laughing things off. I’m--I’m still good at it.”

Hanzo felt a shudder linger between his shoulder blades when he thought about how easily Genji had laughed at him saying he was the favorite. Both now realized that the rest of the wolves were giving them a wide berth. Three still crowding Mercy and one getting a vigorous belly rub from McCree.

“I’m sorry,” said Hanzo, “I...had not known.”

“I didn’t know either,” said Genji, “I always assumed you and father got along because you did everything right. You even won every sparring match.”

“Because I was bigger,” said Hanzo, “Those weren’t fair to you, either.”

Shoko pushed her muzzle against the back of Hanzo’s shoulder for attention.

“Perhaps we should...” Hanzo trailed off.

“Talk about this when we’re not surrounded by wolves?” said Genji.

“Yes,” said Hanzo, glancing off.

Genji pushed himself up from his squat and walked off, giving Hanzo his space. Upon seeing whatever tension between them was dissipating, several wolves immediately swarmed Genji for attention. Just running his hands through their fur was a relief. He watched as McCree chatted with Hanzo quietly. McCree apparently comforting Hanzo over the newest revelation.

I thought you knew, thought Genji, I thought I was a joke to you, too...

I thought.

“Genji?” Mercy stepped next to him as Genji was absentmindedly scratching the side of an older, sleepy wolfdog’s face, “Were you and Hanzo just arguing?”

“It’s fine,” said Genji, “We’re fine.”

“Are you sure?” said Mercy. One corner of Genji’s mouth tugged up in a not-smile. She really was so protective of him when it came to Hanzo.

“It was... just about this trip we took when we were younger,” said Genji.

“The Shirakami trip you mentioned back in the van?” said Mercy.

“It wasn’t really a trip, it was part of our training,” said Genji, “Wilderness survival. Standard stuff. 5 days of just me and Hanzo roughing it in the woods, making our own lean-tos, that sort of thing...” Genji trailed off.

“How old were you?” said Mercy.

“Hanzo was twelve,” said Genji.

“...so you were nine,” said Mercy, her brow was crinkling.

“Are you okay?” said Genji.

“Just you and Hanzo?” Mercy, “Not your father?”

“Of course,” said Genji with a shrug, and he noticed the color drain from Mercy’s face, “What?”

“Genji, you were a 12 year old and a 9 year old left alone in the woods for five days, that’s horrific,” said Mercy.

“Every generation of the Shimada did it in some capacity,” said Genji, “And I already had plenty of training before---” he caught himself as he looked up into Mercy’s eyes, “...Oh. That’s... that’s not something families do with their kids, is it?”

“No,” said Mercy, “No it isn’t.”

“Right...” Genji looked down.

“So the argument was about the trip?” said Mercy.

“It... it turned into being more about father,” said Genji, “I guess...we both assumed he was amazing to the other when the truth was, he was terrible to both of us in different ways.”

Mercy touched his shoulder, “You were both children...”

Genji huffed a little. “I think we both wanted to believe he was good, deep down. He was strong, certainly. He made the world feel like it had a certain... order to it. That the clan’s way was the truth of the world.”

“It takes time,” said Mercy, “Even when you get enough space and perspective, it still takes a while to figure out who you are outside of a situation like that.”

Genji brought his hand over hers. “It still scares me, sometimes, like, what do I accept as normal that’s nightmarish for other people?” He glanced off, “And... and I want to remember good things about our childhood--I want to believe there are some... some strings of family love that were always there. Maybe father did love us... but he only knew how to show it in the way it was shown to him...he may not have even known--I may not even know--Am I--?” he cut himself off as he looked into her eyes.

Mercy stooped over him put her free hand against the side of his face, and gently kissed his forehead. “Genji,” she said, “You are one of the kindest, strongest, and most patient people I’ve ever met. And you know yourself. And you’re constantly working to be a better version of yourself. That’s one of the reasons why you tried so hard to bring Hanzo back into your life--would it be easier if Hanzo wasn’t in your life? Yes, but... I think for you, it’s not about wanting what’s easy.”

“Maybe I’m just dwelling on this because I’m scared, no matter how hard I worked to get here, to get better, I’m so scared of repeating that cycle,” said Genji.

“You won’t,” said Mercy, sitting down next to him,“This is happening because you want to break a cycle, and... learning things like this is a part of it. This is new ground for everyone. Of course it’s scary.”

Genji looked over at Hanzo, kneading his knuckles into the the thick fur of a wolf-dog’s neck with his face scrunched at the wolf licking his face. McCree walked up and helped haul him to his feet before both of them nearly tripped over another wolf butting into them from behind.

“He has gotten a lot better,” said Genji.

“And it’s going to keep getting better, sure there will be hiccups, but you both want this,” said Mercy, “That’s what’s important.”

Genji just quietly smiled at that. “We’re going to talk about it more when we get back,” said Genji.

“I think that’s a good idea,” said Mercy, “And if it’s any consolation, the wolves confirmed I’m not pregnant.”

Genji looked at her oddly, with one thick eyebrow arched with amusement.

“So we don’t have to worry about that yet, at least,” said Mercy, folding her arms.

“Yet?” said Genji.

Mercy just gave him a smile and a shrug, and Genji snorted and leaned his head on his shoulder. He kept his fingers dug into the wolf’s fur, breathing in the pine-cooled air.

#gency #some background mchanzo #gencyweek

52 notes · View notes

spacehologramcollection · 5 years

Text

Kombat Krew and flirting;

I cannot believe I’ve not wrote this yet. So here it is, the Kombat Kast and their flirting. It’s hefty post! Quite a few characters in here! Warnings; NSFW so it’s under the cut, 18+, mentions of Kano but it’s mostly a shitpost with some seriousness in it. GIFS do not belong to me, either found on here or google!

· Sub Zero (Kuai Liang);

Awkward as fuck. He does not have an idea what to say. He’s trying. He really is. He learnt what he knows from Bi-Han which isn’t great! He knows ice puns and that is it. Ice Puns and smiling awkwardly. It’s endearing enough for you to smile and laugh a little. That’ll do. He won’t flirt with you in public, but in private he will fucking try his hardest! Lots of odd remarks, him complimenting your fighting style, your honour etc. He doesn’t want to be as forward was Bi-Han, because it’s fucking crude and cringe worthy. So, expect some odd remarks.

· Kabal; Pre-Burnt; Teasing, living to make you laugh. He’s so suave and confident, but not overly so that it’s off putting. He wants to make you laugh, so his flirts will be fun filled. Not overly forward but isn’t afraid to talk to you first. He wants to see that smile. Will reference his speed, before remarking it doesn’t apply to all aspects of his life. Think of that whatever way you want. Post-Burn; His flirting has changed just like he has. He’s not confident anymore, he doesn’t feel suave. That once brimming confidence feeling has been replaced by malcontent for himself. But he still wants to make you laugh. He’ll meet your gaze, see you smiling, before dropping his gaze and looking back. Just to make sure you meant to do that. When he see’s no change, he’ll come over and awkwardly try and flirt. His old-self is trying to burst through, but then he represses it. It’s endearing and cute. When he hears you laugh at one of his shitty jokes, it makes him laugh and smile under the mask. He’s not laughed like that in a long time.

· Erron Black; Tips his hat, M’lady. God, I hate myself for writing that. He is extremely smooth and suave with his flirting. Some of it is cheesy, some a bit crude and some of it smooth. We’ve all seen his intros with all the ladies. Some of it makes you cringe and go no. But some of it will have you ready to take your horse to the old town road and ‘til you can't no more. Sorry I am a fucking hot-mess right now. He’s had many years to practise and is well versed in the art of flirting. He won’t boast about how many partners he has wooed, because that would be untasteful. But he demonstrates it with his skill. He can go from being sexual to a gentleman in a matter of seconds. He’ll bring you flowers, call you cute pet names and make you feel fucking divine.

· Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi); With his wife, things were simple and easy. Not as complicated. But nowadays everything has changed. Since when was flirting this difficult for him? Did he even really flirt back then? He’s rusty and he knows it, so he’s very thankful that you have the patience of a saint. Things come out wrong, his words get muddles and he seems awkward. But god does it sound so sweet and lovely in that voice of his. He’ll end up using actions rather than words. Placing a cherry blossom in your hair. He’ll also flirt in Japanese, if you’re not fluent in it, he will find it easier to flirt with you. Maybe because he knows you won’t understand fully and therefore there is less pressure. Either way, it’s sweet and very caring. Every flirt is like a commitment and it’s almost poetic sounding.

· Smoke; Oh shit here you go again. Smoke cannot flirt for shit either. The Lin Kuei need a lesson in flirting. Not from Bi-Han or Johnny either. He isn’t forward, and he comes across shy. His flirtatious remarks come from the books he’s read. He knows the works of fiction do not translate to reality. So, he holds back flirting. However, him reading has its perks. It’s a conversation starter. Which means if he spies you reading, occasionally smiling and making eyes at him. He’ll nut up and shut up, walk over, and start talking about the book. Usually starting with ‘I won’t spoil the ending…’ His flirting is literally him starting a conversation. He’d ask Kuai for advice, but he knows he’s worse than he is.

· Bi-Han; The complete opposite of his brother. He’s overly confident. He can come across as a little forward. If he see’s you making his eyes at him, he’s going to initiate his flirt mode. Which is not amazing. It’s cringeworthy. He picked most of his lines and moves up from movies. So, yeah, expect some shit. It makes Kuai want to cry watching him flirt. He’s more open to public flirting. He’s joint Grandmaster, who’s going to say shit to him flirting with you? No one, that’s who. He’s the type of guy to try and be smooth but it goes wrong. He once tried to lean against a wall, missed, but managed to recover him falling down. Into a rather suave push up. Cringey, but impressive and it won you over.

· Havik; (Since he is alive and just a fucking chaotic weirdo) You thought Kuai’s flirtatious remarks could be odd. Wait till you flirt with this hot-mess. Havik is really forward, not in a sexual sense, but more so in a ‘Please take all my love, if it suits you’ He’ll compliment you on WEIRD fucking things. You could beat his arse and he’s their like ‘I’ve never been more aroused in my life’ Remember, Chaosrealmers are fucking WEIRD. If you’re unorganised or clumsy, he’s going to be complimenting you on that shit. He’ll also compliment you on strange things, like your elbows, knees or teeth? You’re unsure what is going on. But that’s why it’s fun. He’ll also tilt his head to an extreme angle if you try and cover up your smile or laugh.

· Hotaru;

Prim and proper. Since that’s his way. You’d expect him not to be smooth, but he is surprisingly so. He’ll ask permission before initiating flirting, because there has to be some rules and regulations. He’s old school when it comes to flirting. Picks you up on time, brings flowers, which are perfectly arranged. He’ll have you home on time, before 10pm and all that jazz. He’ll also compliment you on your organisation, your hair (He knows good hair when he see’s it) and he’s the type of guy to place flowers in your hair whilst you’re walking.

· Raiden; What is this flirting? Does he need to consult the Elder Gods? He has no idea what the fuck is going on. And he has no idea what the fuck to do. Mortal Courting rituals are lost on him at first. He spent many a night, reading and scouring the ancient texts, and the magazines Cassie and Jacqui left at the Sky Temple. He learnt about flirting techniques and that orange is the new pink. Who fucking knew? When he discovers that flirting indicates that you are interested in someone, he will brush up on his skill (Practising on Fujin, who is fake swooning and bigging him up) before trying it on you. The lines are corny, they don’t make sense but it’s sweet he tried.

· Fujin; Windows error noise plays. He, like Raiden has no idea what the fuck is going on. Even more so than Raiden. He is inept, and the customs of Mortals are fucking lost on him. He doesn’t have the leisure of asking Johnny, though Raiden advised him never to take said advice. Instead, he like Raiden, will scour books and texts, before practising on Raiden and Liu Kang. Who just smiles and nods politely, watching as two revered gods try and learn the art of flirting. Kung Lao offers to help, boasting his prowess, but Fujin can see through that bullshit in a minute. Fujin and his flirting is more sweet than suave and smooth. He focuses on complimenting you and things he finds admirable. It’s very quiet and is uttered with surety but awkwardness. Very cute.

· Kung Lao; Kung Lao and flirting is an odd combination. He boasts about his prowess and his skills with flirting. He has the theory but little to no practise. However, saying that it does come naturally to him. He’s naturally charming, cocky and cheeky. And it pays off for him. He’s very suave and smooth when it comes to his flirting. He’s extremely confident but he can shy away a little if you’re overly forward back. Like I said, theory but no practice. He’ll have you swooning in no time. He is, after all, a very sinful monk.

· Baraka; What is this flirting? When he finds out it’s the way humans show interest in one another he sort of scoffs. No way he’s doing that. Tarkatan’s have ways to attract interest from a potential partner. He will do it that way. So, his flirting, is him trying to impress you in sparring matches, near butt ass naked with paint on him. He’ll keep glancing over at you to make sure you’re watching him perform. He doesn’t do soft and cute, Tarkatan’s have a love for battle, and that is how they impress their partners, by demonstrating their prowess in battle. He wants to prove he is worthy/suitable and impress you that way.

· Johnny Cage; When he was younger he was extremely vain, arrogant and overly-cocky. It was very much ‘Do you know who I am?’ mixed in with cheesy pick-up lines and self-centred vanity. Not the best of looks on him. However, now he’s matured up, and experienced the love hurricane that was Sonya. He is a lot calmer, less forward, but still confident and slightly cocky. He’s humorous and will make you laugh and smile. It’s what he wants to see. If he’s called Earthrealm’s clown, he’s going to live up to that reputation.

· Sonya Blade;

Sonya is a bit of a tease when it comes to flirting. She’ll be like ‘Are you flirting with me soldier?’ all serious. Before laughing and telling you she’s messing with you, upon you getting flustered. She hasn’t the time to mess about, so her flirting is very direct and indicating of her motives. If she’s into you, she will let you know about it. She’s sort of smooth but more of a tease. Always direct though and hardly ever soppy and soft.

· Cassie Cage; She’s nothing like Johnny when it comes to flirting. She’s more direct like Sonya. If she’s into you, she will let you know. Some of her stuff can be on the softer side, but she won’t be writing you any love poetry anytime soon. She has a good sense of humour and will love to share that with you. She’s into making the both of you laugh and making you feel relaxed. She doesn’t do pick-up lines. She can be sweet at times, but it’s a side of her you’ll only see in private and when you’re both really close.

· Geras; He has spent an eternity wandering the realms, enterally lonely. You want to spend the eons with him? But you cannot you are a mortal… oh, you were flirting with him? He had no idea. He’s another who’s a bit unsure of flirting. It’s a Mortal Custom, one he isn’t well versed in. What he does know, is that it has changed over the years. He could literally try and flirt/court you in so many ways. He instead, cherry picks the best bits from all of time. He’s a bit awkward with the lines at first. But he makes up with the delivery with enthusiasm. Geras needs some love and TLC. He needs a fucking hug, someone fucking hug him now!

· Kano; Comes up to you, pissed in a bar, spills his drink everywhere and slurs his words. Leans in for a kiss, misses and ends up kissing the table. Either that or you mace him. Either way, he’s passed out, in a puddle of his own vomit. He’s fucking foul On a serious note, his flirting would be crude, disgusting and overtly sexual. He’ll boast about everything. From his money, to his power, to his cock. He’ll try boast about his respect, even though it’s none-existent. You know this from him trying to show off to you, telling Kabal to go get him a drink, to which Kabal launched a bottle of beer at the wall near him. Telling him to fuck off and get his own. Don’t do it. Date Kabal or Erron. Fuck it, even Kira!

922 notes · View notes