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shinjisdone · 9 months

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If it's possible can I get a f!mc with Riddle? As in the events like how you did with deuce. Take your time.

Choosing this one first since Ive been dealing with quite a few things recently and this is the easiest one for me.

The Thorfinn one is gonna be next

Excellent cuz I actually thought about making a Riddle Version ^^

Might have gone overboard so pls treat this as another part of the female!MC and friends series and as a request ^^

tried to focus on the 'female!MC' part but lotsa things ended up pretty neutral...

TW: Mentions of Riddle's strict diet introduced by his mother and his hesitancy to eat food as well as counting calories in the 'When He Cooks For You...' Part

Female!MC and Friends - Riddle Rosehearts

Oh, the upright and feared Riddle Rosehearts.

Let's not talk about his first meeting and overblot 'cause there he was just c r a zy.

It's after a while after things and he have calmed down where he can even approach you and properly 'meet' you for the first time. Riddle cannot believe how careless he was that he noticed only just now that you are a girl in an all-boys-academy - the only one here probably as well.

His first thought was: 'This breaks a rule.'

But he is quick to scold and correct himself. This kind of thinking earned him the most embarrassing and stressful meltdown he has ever experienced. Clearly no one got out happy with this kind of thinking.

Not Riddle. Not his dorm. Maybe only his mother...

In secret, there were some rules he didn't like...

He likes to have milk in his tea. He likes chestnuts in his sweets...and he would like to have free time to spend with his friends...

He is sure you would like to have that, too.

When You Are Invited To The Unbirthday Party...

Well, this most likely happens after the overblot, as an apology.

It is also the first Unbirthady Party you have been invited to.

It will most likely go as it did in the game...and Riddle is apologizing to you too, since you got dragged into his mess as a bystander.

As a new student! You just got here at NRC and have had to deal with his mess, his problems.

You also helped Ace make the 'apology' nut tart...so you definitely deserve an apology.

There might be a bit of confusion within the normal Heartslabyul dormmates who do not know you...they might also notice that you are a girl.

There might be a few whispers in a group on what you are doing here. It can be hard to notice if someone is magicless on first glance but it can be easy to notice a girl, if you present yourself as such in a way.

There is a sliiiiight chance you are gonna get asked about or talked to about this. If there are some negative claims or responses to you being at NRC or at the party, Riddle will be sure to correct them quickly.

"Do not disregard anyone here! She is still a guest!"

Riddle will go back to his old habit and the students will nervously ask if that is a rule.

"No, not a rule," He softens his voice, "It goes without saying that no one shall be misjudged or disregarded, no matter who they are!"

Continuing his apology, he will treat everyone for a bit. He will ask what tea you like (you can have any tea, no matter the rule!) and if you'd like to play with the hedgehogs (he can turn a blind eye for that one today).

You can take advantage of it like Ace totally did/would. Or you could be considerate of his...weird overblot situation.

At the former he will be annoyed but allow it ONLY FOR TODAY, and for the second one, he will be perplexed but decides, yeah, he should gracefully accept your kindness.

Riddle will make sure to treat you equally, in and out of Heartslabyul.

But, if he finds himself fond of you, favoritism might follow...

When He Cooks For You...

Cooking is...hard.

Riddle truly wants to improve. If he likes you, he could try cooking for you to taste-test his dishes. He doesn't wanna go through the oyster-sauce-situation again...

Depending on your own skills, he might ask for a liiiittle bit of help. What is this spice? How much is a 'spoonful'? What do they mean when they say 'cook with love'?

You will quickly find out that he is a terrible cook. You could be a chef or someone who wouldn't be able to cook to save your own life, but at least you'd still be better than Riddle.

So when he starts asking these small questions...you can expect to give him full on lessons.

He...feels weird being taught by another student but grows to appreaciate it. He will remember your instructions and use them wisely (as he literally states after each explanation) so you can expect a delicious dish!

Nothing is perfect at the beginning but the more he tries, and the more he learns from you (or Trey), the better he gets at it! He lets you try it and once he has made something actually tasty, he will be quite proud!

He never knew how nice it is to see someone enjoy the meals you make...especially with a smile such as yours.

He might make more for you - just for fun and not to learn. Just for you...

B-But as th-thanks, of course! For what other reason could it be?!

If YOU make HIM something, he will be...confused...then realizes...and then feels touched...and then confused again.

You...made him a meal? Just like that? Why?

When he does it for you, he does not question anything. But here the roles are reversed and it's strange to him...

Riddle hesitates a little. This meal was not planned for today and he might not follow exactly as his mother intended his diet to be...but you made this for him.

He eats it...and no matter the taste, he will thank you. Eating slowly as he digests (literally and figuratively) this gesture of yours.

No one has ever done this for him. It was all his mother, who noted down the calories instead of thinking if he'll actually enjoy the dish or not.

If you make him a STRAWBERRY T A R T oooooh man, expect some silence.

Riddle is. So. confused. But. In a good way.

But also in. A. Perplexing way.

You...you did this to please him, right? To make him happy?

There cannot be any other explanation as to why.

Out of every little thing, you decided to make him his favorite food...he will stare at it in awe...and actually ponder if he is even allowed to eat it.

One, because of old habits. Two, because it looks so nice. And you baked it for him.

You went out of your way to get the ingredients, wash and cut the strawberries, knet the doe, put in the oven...

He calls out to you midway and will mutter with a flustered face that he will gladly eat it. Would you...like to accompany him? It could be like an small, unofficial, Unbrithday Party...a private one.

Riddle feels so weird eating the tart. Its great and he loves it...but it's not from a bakery, it's not made by Trey for everyone - it was made by you; For him.

Riddle will thank you with flushed cheeks.

When He...Proposes To A Ghost!?

Oh boy. Ghost wedding, huh?

Well, strange and weird, but nothing Riddle cannot manage!

It is fake-proposing anyway and he was to a lot of parties when he was younger. Perhaps he even witnessed a proposal in one of them!

Safe to say, someone as gentleman-ly and sophisticated as Riddle has a high chance of winning a bride's heart - even if it doesn't beat anymore.

Riddle prepares himself perfectly and has the confidence to suit it to. He doesn't believe he is flawless but knows that his attempt will at least help get Idia out of there.

You could aid him though he doesn't think he needs the help.

But if you want to propose to Eliza as well? Certainly you know that makes you two…uh…rivals?

He doesn't like the thought of that even if it is just fake proposing.

To impress the bride you must wear something formal. No matter if suit or dress, Riddle will feel flustered seeing you like this.

If you wear a suit, expect him to scrutinize you. He is very familiar with wearing suits and look at that, your tie is crooked again! Is the jacket even ironed? And those colors don't align…

He will fix every little thing until you're presentable. This just won't do, you know?

Might realize later that he helped you have a better chance at getting the bride? That's bad. RIDDLE is supposed to be the groom for one. And second…he…doesn't want you to become her wife.

If you wear a dress however, Riddle will definitely feel flustered. He doesn't know much about how dresses are 'properly' worn…and you look nice in it, too.

Are you sure you want to compete in general actually? Riddle got this, you know? You don't need to put yourself out there!

The thought of you winning and becoming a bride yourself? Its…so unpleasant.

Will keep telling you to not worry about this. Don't participate…Riddle is the dormhead and he can take care of this. You can help him if you want…

Or maybe dont. Because rehearsing his proposal and gifting you a bouquet of RED ROSES (he knows they mean true love!) And looking at you with one knee while YOU DRESSED LIKE A BRIDE IS

ITS NOT OKAY HE DECIDED.

NOPE DONT HELP HIM! IN FACT, DONT BE HERE AT ALL, RIDDLE WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS!

DONT HELP HIM OUT AND DONT BE ANYONE'S BRIDE! JUST;;;STAY OUTTA THIS!

OH? HE SAID HED TEACH YOU HOW TO DANCE AT A WEDDING?

YOU KNOW HE SEEMS TO NOT RECALL THIS ANYMORE

Before all of this, he would have gladly taught you…but here, he finds himself too flustered to do it. His eyes barely make contact to yours as he sways you in a waltz and even HE starts to make mistakes.

Perhaps he'll show you another time, yeah?

When You Are Stranded On An Island Together...

Wh-what is this? First he's staring into a book and now here he is with you on a beach?! With a...strange, blue creature...

Suddenly being stranded on an island can already be a stressful situation for anyone but for Riddle, it is outrageous. There are no rules, no etiquette, no order...and they left the campus without saying! Sure, it was in accident and sudden and through magical means, but still!

But well...if you two are already here (with that Stitch thing), might as well try to make most of this situation.

Riddle will be a bit at loss when making a cot or a tool or anything like that...but he will get the hang of it eventually. Magic still exists in any case of emergency.

Not being able to freely follow the rules of the Queen of Hearts (how ironic), leaves him a bit anxious and he WILL ALWAYS try his best to follow them. However, he realizes the situation he is in and will not be hard on himself when he cannot do so well or perfectly.

He also would not expect you to follow the rules (maybe Ace though).

Riddle is not used to the beach or vacation itself. Since he is so used to rules and etiquette, you might have to show him how to relax. Swimming, building sand castles, collecting sea shells...anything really.

It's strange...but nice. He slowly finds enjoyment in simply doing unproductive things.

With such casual and revealing clothes, he might feel a bit unsure. Though, well, this is proper 'clothing' for a vacation so...

The dormhead might look for you for any direction on how to...'properly' wear vacation clothes. But! If you were to wear revealing clothing fitting for the beach or heat as well (let alone a *gasp* swimwear or a bikini!) Riddle will turn a bright red. What are you doing wearing that?! No, wait...you're doing it correctly, right?It's fitting for a beach...sorry then...but he will still be as red as a goldfish (in Floyd's words) just not out of rage this time. He's flustered seeing you like this.

It doesn't help that you get into the water...

In a swimwear obviously all of your....feminine ways are showing! (In his words. He just doesn't have the gall to say it outright). Don't you...? He means doesn't this...?

Ugh. He gives up. Too embarrassed to communicate his thoughts and Ace is laughing at him.

Yet...this might be a good opportunity to try out this 'relaxing' with you...

When You Dance At A Masquerade...

An activity Riddle is quite familiar with!

It is an honor to be invited by Noble Bell College, so as a dormleader Riddle will do his utmost to leave an perfect impression from beginning to end.

He will be quite sociable and set his 'rule above all'-mindset aside. He is a guest after all.

You will find yourself asked for a dance by him. He is quite confident in his dancing skills and, regarding the ghost wedding (and Helloween if you partook in it with him), this isn't the first time you have danced together, so there isn't really a reason for Riddle to be nervous.

Even if it was the first time, he'd still assure you that he will show you the ropes.

If you are knowledgable in it yourself, he will expect a good perfomance. Especially if he was the one who taught you.

Riddle quite likes the aesthatic of the masquerade. It has such an mysterious vibe to it and he admits to himself that you seem quite charming and intruiging with that mysterious mask on.

Even if he knows that it's you.

Will act a bit more playful and like a 'prince from far, far away' as he asks you for 'the honor of a dance'. If you laugh and oblige with a bit of playfulness yourself, you scored 100 points.

No matter what you wear, Riddle will compliment your get-up. Do compliment his as well. In fact, it suits him and his personality perfectly! With how sophisticated Riddle is, nobody else could pull off the entire 'masked-prince' aesthatic!

He will blush and clear his throat. Although he will agree with you.

Would truly like to have your first dance but if he does not get the chance, he won't complain. But he will be sure to be on look-out for you to get at least one dance.

If you are??? Very much enjoying the dancing??? With giggles and laughter??? OH man, he doesn't know what to do.

On one hand, he tries really hard not to scold you. This isn't proper etiquette for dancing, you aren't supposed to have f u n. You have to be graceful and impressive and elegant and...

But on the other hand...you have so much fun. You're like a shining sunflower princess blooming amidst these other flowers as if you had seen the sunlight for the first time...he cannot take that fun away from you.

Uh-oh, did he just really think that?

Though his face is blooming just as much in red, he keeps his mouth shut and twirls you as much as you like.

It's nice seeing you enjoy yourself so much. Riddle enjoys himself too.

Yet besides the dancing, he doesn't know what else to do...seems like he does not need to uphold a reputation all the time through the festivity, so he will seek you out for some guidance but also because he enjoys your company.

If you ask him out of curiousity and fun what it means to have 'proper ballroom etiquette', he will gladly tell you but be confused that you might find it fun? He certainly didn't as a kid.

If you, again, play around like some kind of noble or princess, he is biting his tongue. You are just playing around...and it's just for tonight. As long as you don't embarass yourself (or him) then...be as much of a princess as you want.

Ah, to have some tea and dance all night...it would be nice.

Only if you were there though.

#request #twst #twisted wonderland #fem reader #female!mc #f!mc #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts x f!reader #its long #aaaauugh #i wish i could add more #but brain kinda empty now

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justaboot · 2 months

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prequel ep !!!

Episode fic of 19 year old twins and Scrooge on a South American jungle river adventure!

Questing through tunnels and jungles, encounter new travelers, and no one can quite get on the same page.

The twins realize for the first time they're tottering on the edge between childhood and adulthood, struggling with the impermanence of life and the inevitable passage of time.

---

“So what now?” Donald hissed, “This guy’s living the dream, and now you're gonna go off and live in the Cloudslayer ‘full time?’”

Her head dropped sideways to look at him, her brows drawn tight.

“Why is that the dream?” she whispered back.

“Going wherever you want?” Donald said, “No one telling you what to do, what not to do, living off whatever you can find and sleeping in the plane in whatever field looks good?”

She watched him for a moment with an odd, perplexed expression.

“Why would I want to do it without you guys?” she finally said.

Donald shook his head, but he could feel the corners of his lips quirking. A quick handful of damp grass took care of the oddly sad expression on her face, and he flipped over, closing his eyes as she spluttered greenery and dirt out of her mouth behind him.

#I really love this one tbh #I put it on the back burner bc I wanted it to be the third installment of a larger series and wrote sixpence instead #I might pick it back up as a standalone though #Its long #my writing

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bulkhummus · 8 months

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if you saw my to do list this week you'd know how strong and powerful I am and you'd want me so bad

#its LONG #real long #sigh im happy I organized everything and time blocked a schedule but dang its long lots to do this week #guess its better than having nothing #personal

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poindexters-labratory · 9 months

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Explaining FNAF: Hurricane Pt. 1: Before the Storm

Having special interests in FNAF and human nature (especially its oddities) can apparently have adverse effects on a subject. The subject being me.

(Warning, there's a lot)

I have autism, the kind where I get super invested in a niche and can never let it go for just about years on end. My niche is William Afton and his family which has been combined with my trivial knowledge of mental health, mental conditions, neurodivergence, history, storytelling, psychology, etc. to create this conglomerate clusterfuck that is the Hurricane AU.

The alternate universe at its core focuses on the father-son dynamic between Michael and his father William. There are six parts to the Afton Family arc:

Wild Cat

Before the Storm

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria

Freddy's Emporium

and Reunion

I'll infodump about Before the Storm because that's the first one I mentally created and what I have the most art of.

The lore aspect of FNAF isn't apparent at the moment, that will come later on after the characters are properly introduced with all of their flaws, quirks, positives, negatives, and before the catalyst of the whole plot kicks off, starting from 1980 and ending in 1983. This introduction/rising action section has been dubbed what it is called because Hurricane, Utah and I'm a smartass.

Everything in the Hurricane AU happens very slowly at first and when it kicks off, it shoots like a fucking rocket. It's the small details that have the biggest impact for this first section in order for the rest of the story to make sense, especially why things happen the way they do.

Let me introduce you to the family,

Michael Afton:

Oh, yeah, he's a teenager. Cocky, argumentative, confrontational, and the main character of the entire AU. Before the Storm follows him through his upper teenage years: 15 - 18 (fifteen to eighteen). This guy can fit so much resentment in him. He's also inherently kind, artistic, and stubborn in both a good way and a bad one. His mom left with his baby sister when he was thirteen (13) years old and noticeably hasn't been the same since then. Highly embarrassed of what's left of his family (especially his effeminate, odd, and immature father) plus lack of at-home attention has led to a lot of stunts. He's by no means a hateful person, but he doesn't have the ability to express his unhappiness in a proactive way.

Evan Afton:

A rambunctious elementary school kid. As Michael's kid brother, it's his duty to annoy the shit out of him, and as William's middle child, make him fear for his son's life at times. He isn't careful, so accidents happen a lot with him, see the road rash scars on face, arm, and leg. Through his section he's 7 - 10 (seven to ten) years old, and deals a lot with school, peer, and at-home stress, but he's a generally happy child. He isn't without his quirks, Evan is loud, mean, destructive, and likes to deal with his problems very physically (he's a fighter). Evan deals with night terrors every so often, has some twitches and tics, and by god does he have a temper.

Elizabeth Afton:

Lizzie is far more used to privilege and a quiet home, coming from an estate in London, living with her mother for the six (6) years of her life, but the first summer over to Utah in 1980 led to the interesting discovery that she could be loud, messy, and by her mother's terms, 'un-ladylike'. She provides an outside perspective into a household that has music constantly playing, an argument or fight always happening, and a mess somewhere. She's highly energetic, imaginative, and friendly. Michael had no problem sharing his loud and argumentative nature with her, making her a handful when she comes around.

And William Afton:

Co-owner of Fredbear's Family Diner and Fazbear Entertainment immigrated from London, William has a lot of loves: his children, Henry and his mind, creating whatever he can figure out, and rabbits to name a few. He feels everything with a fierce intensity, and he'll express the intensity. That's typically where problems arise. Especially between him and Michael. Their arguments are usually about not understanding the other. William is a troubled individual, but he does his best to make good choices, but he slips in his decision-making very often. He's chaotic, spiteful, intelligent, energetic, and kinda funny to watch per Michael and Henry's fair opinion. He's fairly young, 32 (thirty-two) years old circa 1980, and at times, acts like a child himself.

Before the Storm has a soap opera feel because the main plot hasn't started, but there's still a lot of backstories to explore and character dynamics to introduce before they're whiplashed by tragedy. The section is treated as a control for what is going to change in on-coming parts. I also just wanted something that felt good with all of the rest being angst.

A tragedy as big as losing a child can take over lives, (especially in a sudden accident) and the family in Before the Storm are the lives that it took. So, this part is an inside view into what exactly was lost.

Feel free to ask me questions; encouraged, really, I love to talk about it. A lot.

#long post #ITS LONG #explaining hurricane #fnaf #fnaf hurricane #fnaf au #william afton #michael afton #elizabeth afton #evan afton #fnaf fanart #special interest #infodump #4 years in the making

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rose-smoke · 5 months

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Yall wanna know who i kin?

#its long

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giftofclasspects · 6 months

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i'm back!!! guess what? the space playlists were created!!!

you can find them with a link to my spotify here!

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adumpofdumbstuff · 11 months

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Deja Q Rewatch: Qcard Analysis

I am rewatching every Q episode of TNG (which means Qpid is next! Yippee!) and I thought I’d like to write a bit about this…

First of all, MY POOR BOY IS A HUMAN AND EVEN HIS LOVE INTEREST DOESN’T BELIEVE HIM. He literally requested to be sent to the Enterprise. Why? Because Picard is “the closest thing [he] has to a friend”. I posted this in the Qcard Fic Discord server, but I have a theory that yes, Q has been attracted to Picard for some time, especially during Q Who. Bro nearly kissed JLP’s ear. But he wasn’t fully aware of it. He enjoys Jean-Luc’s company. He wants affection. Now here he is, experiencing human emotions. Along with all of that fear and anxiety of feeling pain and such, and maybe a little bit of butterflies in his stomach?? I had a theory of an off-screen moment that might have gone something like this, perhaps in the few moments it must have taken to replicate 10 chocolate sundaes, right before Guinan shows up:

Q: Data… I may have felt a different sensation in my stomach earlier, when I first was dumped here by the Continuum.

Data: I’m listening.

Q: Sort of… fluttery. I-I’m not sure. It didn’t feel like… hunger.

Data: It could be possible it was a sort of nervousness.

Q: I’ve been feeling nervousness all day. I only felt this way near Jean-Luc. Maybe even a bit while I was omnipotent.

Data: It could be possible you feel some form of romantic or sexual attraction to Captain Picard.

Q: Sex with… Jean-Luc? For a robot, you have a sense of humor!

Data: …I am an android.

Q: Whatever!

Even if that didn’t happen, Q may have figured it out himself that fluttery feeling he got around Picard was love because after Deja Q, he was flirting even more!!! “Mon capitaine” starts to stick!!! Qpid, the way he was on the couch!!! Tapestry, flowers for John-Luck Pickerd!!!

THE IMMORTAL BED SCENE.

Now, I am going to discuss “Red alert” below the cut but a few other things first:

It was so hard for him to manage. My boy full of fear. Yet it’s that thing he has for Picard that keeps him forgiving him even when he’s pushed out of the way. Also, Q is not interested in “human interpersonal relationships”. In truth? As he sorts through his feelings for Picard, he’s still the only human he cares for. Riker was just for the Continuum. He could care less about Riker now that he knows for sure Riker could care less for the Continuum’s abilities. It’s all Picard. Definitely could care less about Geordi. Worf’s a Klingon, but he could care less about Microbrain as well.

And now to discuss Q’s sacrifice. Obviously he did some thinking after Data saved him. It is possible in this moment he realized he loved Picard and would do anything to protect him. So he takes the shuttlecraft. He would die for him. And he’s teased by Q2. “Selfless”. He knows the Calamarain would destroy the Enterprise to get to him, which means the death of everyone on the ship, including Jean-Luc. And of course he was growing depressed in that human form. But as Q2 said, there was a selfless aspect to this.

That selfless aspect? Q’s feelings for Picard.

Alright, on “Red alert”…

He’s naked in front of Picard. He can’t control the smirk that shows up on his face when he lands there. This is definitely Q’s more sexual emotions for JLP, and what if…

What if, he got a, yknow, a 🦴?

Just saying. He doesn’t know what happened. He might have had a guess. Why is it doing that?

Well, Q…

And that’s all I’ll discuss that. If you made it this far, thank you for reading my thoughts on this episode and how it sets up Qpid and Tapestry, and ultimately All Good Things… Now I didn’t mention True Q, and I believe @stellarred mentioned this in one of their posts at some point, but the reason we barely got any Qcard there is because Continuum business. But wait, Hide and Q was similar in nature. Well, Riker was closer to Picard so it was different. Besides, he was more of a free-range carefree Q then, before the fear of being a human set in. Okay that’s the real end of the essay.

#not a reblog #tdlr: qcard #qcard #q star trek #jean-luc picard #essay #its long #very long post #sorry #not sorry #whatever #star trek #me trying to be stellar #stellarred #follow stellarred guys #theyre amazing #ok bye #kinda nswf #SD 11038.5

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yeyinde · 1 year

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Hi! Hope you're doing well. I just have to say that you're my favorite writer and a huge inspiration to me. Everything you write, even the small little snippets, just make me so happy.

Are you by chance still doing the WIP snippets? Cause I go feral for Jacob Seed, and when I saw you had a WIP for him I can honestly say I almost fell out of my chair.

Hiya! This is so sweet!! Thank you so much 🖤😭

Jacob Seed is one of those characters who I'd very much like to chisel open. He's so intriguing. His ideologies are so unfounded but his conviction and his reasons for them are what I find really appealing.

This is quite a deviation from what I normally do—third person, technically no reader-insert (I kindaaaaa made an OC? Oops) a bit darker (dragging me back to my slasher roots), and pulls a lot from a pseudo-religious upbringing. It is really fun to write, in theory, but is one of those fics that is mentally taxing in the sense that every piece is part of a bigger picture. Despite that, though, I could probably talk about this fic more than any others because of all the weird influences it draws from—Siken (it was originally gonna be titled war of the foxes but I felt that was a little too on the nose so I changed it to wishbone which is even more on the nose), bible mythology (in particular, the warring interpretations of Abaddon, iyjyk but also??? Abaddon and Michael, though???? 👀), and um. Cult shenanigans.

Here is a little bit about it!

He's in her head now, a sickness polluting her grey matter until it's shaded the same colour as the burning auburn around his wicked mouth. The one that splits wide, and croons about her failures, her destiny, until the rasping slur of his words are skeined tight around her gyri. Festering like a cancer she can't clove. One that sounds more like a truism each time she hears it.

Jacob has his finger on the trigger of a loaded gun with the barrel pressed tight to her cerebellum. A tool, he said. One without a master. Until now. Until him.

She can't fight him. Can't get rid of him.

She wonders if she ever even tried.

And for some Rook x Jacob (kinda sorta but in a weird and twisted way):

Jacob doesn't give an inch even with the barrel of her Whitetailer pointed at his heart. A beat, then, where the world around her seems to shiver at the smirk he sends her way, his own hand fixed, deadly and calm, on the butt of his garish rifle. Red.

(Of course. Of course.)

He stands on his tower, a castle of rock in the middle of the Whitetail Mountains, surrounded by unfathomable wilderness, and the broken remnants of his wolf beacons, his fallen men. His Judges.

They lay by her feet, discarded offerings to the man who vultured her sense of self, her agency, until the person she was before all of this was lost, collateral to a war she never agreed to. She feels it sometimes, the putrefying remains of idealism and hope clawing at her skull until the tissue shreds and bleeds. Feels it like a second degree burn, a scab she can't stop picking at, and then pushes it back into its sarcophagus. It's an effigial prison in which she's both a warden and cellmate.

It rears, now, as her patent yellow boots sink into the ribcage of a man torn to shreds by her bullets, her fists, mourning the loss of who it once was—a person of empathy and compassion. Someone who would have recoiled at the sight of viscera staining her laces, bone crunching under the soles of her feet.

But it's gone. All she feels is annoyance. Disgust.

They rendered it out of her. All of them pulling and tugging until bits of herself ripped apart, left behind in their regions, in their hands. Faith holds her belief. John, her compassion. Joseph, her fear. And Jacob—

Well.

She tries not to think about what she lost in his cages. The gaping hole where her humanity once sat is heavier now that it's empty.

It doesn't matter. Not anymore.

Everything has been culminating to this point. To this moment. She feels the weight of it, the truth, in her bones. Unlike John, unlike Faith, only one of them will walk away from this still breathing. Her fingers tense. A proxysm.

She finds, as the sky fades back to an endless blue and the mournful call of a loon breaks through the coppice, that she isn't entirely sure she wants it to be her.

"Everything, all of it, has been leading up to this moment," he calls down to her, answering the unspoken assertions that bounce around the bruised fibres of her head. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice. She gets it. She hates that she does. Hates him, she thinks, even more for making her see, for turning her into his executioner so easily. "So, Deputy, what will you do?"

If it were Faith, there'd be something about the path. About choices. About submission and surrender. Giving up agency and self in the single-minded pursuit of devotion to the Father. John, maybe a taunt. A sotto voce about atonement and true self. Of life admit the torture. A baptism in pain.

But Jacob is neither of them.

"Are you gonna kill me, angel?"

She thinks about it. Really does. Lets it grind down into her synapses as she imagines a world without him. A place in Hope County where they celebrate his death and burn his body on an altar, unwilling to let the cult take him back until he's charred bones and ashes. Sure, then, that he's gone. Forever. Always. No more.

Jacob will burn.

She thinks about it, and she shudders.

It feels anticlimactic despite the effort he put into setting it all up. Moving beacons and men and cages and wolves. Tracking her down through the forest until she led them to the Wolf's Den, and put a bullet in the head of the only man who made her feel some sense of footing amid a crumbling world. A place that wasn't quite home but it was something. Purpose, maybe.

It stands in sharp contrast to the dogfight between them. Jacob and his soldiers. A commander playing a game of war from the comfort of his sanctuary. They're gone, now, and she hates that she isn't, too. That no matter what she does, how open she leaves herself, he still lets her sneak up the side of his perch until she's crouched behind a log, until she can hear the weight of his footfalls as he searches for her across the blood smeared landscape.

It's a fallacy. He knows where she is despite the engineered confusion in his tone. What was that? He asks. Come out and fight me, Deputy. You know I'll find you—

The red dot follows her, always just a few inches from where she's hiding. A farce. She hates it. Hates that he isn't really fighting her. A marksman, he said (hoorah), but the only bruises he gave her are in her mind. Mental scars. Stupid. She hates him. Despises him.

(Hates herself even more.)

It feels like muscle memory when she peers over the ledge, her bloodied knuckles leaving smears of her fingerprints behind. He's there. Waiting.

Killing Eli, killing phantoms. Killing men. Killing him. It all congeals in her marrow. Effortless. Easy. She's killed him so many times already that she's sure, now, she could close her eyes and find her mark.

Over and over again, he turned to a nebula of dust when she jumped on his back, wrapping nimble fingers around his neck. Mocking words haunting her as he dissolved into the aether. The Father will protect me. You need me. Don't fight it. Just let go. You've served your purpose. Let's say you get out of this. What's next? You go back to running errands for a teenager and a housewife? You are nothin' without Eli.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, honey," his crooning taunt makes her hackles raise. A part of her hindbrain prickles with unease. Jacob brings a certain terror out of those dormant depths—an atavistic fear coils around her jugular. "Let's finish this."

She wants to end him. To kill and maim and bend and break until nothing is left but bones and tissue. She wants to ruin him. Wants him to ruin her. To end this conflict at the top of a precipice she never wanted to climb.

She says nothing—not to him, to them—but scuffs her feet against the gravel for no reason other than to make him look. He whips around, hand steady on his rifle.

"Finally done hiding, Deputy?"

The red dot hasn't left her vicinity since she prowled after him, unleashing hell and gunfire on the men—his Chosen, his best—that tried to keep her away from him. Hiding, she thinks, and wonders if those words are a projection.

The Whitetailer—the only anchor she's had since she found it laying behind in an abandoned cabin—hums under her fingers. Pulses with the blood rushing through her veins. It's always been heavy. An SA50 isn't easy to carry across a landscape she mostly ventured on foot (as the near constant ache between her shoulders can attest to), but it feels both heavier and lighter than before. Another contradiction of many since she walked out of the Den and into a world on fire. Since she slit his throat and watched him turn into cosmic dust.

It's steady, though. Unwavering. There's a gash on her arm from one of his Chosen. A bullet in her thigh. The unhealed wounds—bliss bullets and arrows—twinge with pain when she tenses her muscles, breathes in deep. Her broken ribs scream. She feels like more like a throbbing contusion than she does an actual person, still caught in the tendrils of her conditioning where his voice echoes in her head, the last notes of a song that turned her world into ashes. Only youuu… he'd crooned.

Only you.

Only ever you.

She gets it now.

Or, she wishes that were true. It isn't. It isn't because maybe she's known all along. Since the bunker. Since Pratt. One, two, three. One, two, three. And then he's got you. Since she blinked into cognisance surrounded by the fallen bodies of the militia who didn't survive the training, who had bullet wounds that matched the shots she took in Jacob's trial.

Since she went back to the Grand View and walked through the rows of cages in the parking lot.

She gets it.

She knows what she has to do.

Her grip doesn't falter when she aims up. Up. His stomach. His lungs. His heart.

"You can't. You're done. You've served your purpose, and now it's time to accept your place, Deputy. Where you belong."

She thinks of Tammy. Of Wheaty. There's nothing left for her. Not anymore.

Nothing except—

She wonders if there's a flash of panic in his cerulean eyes. A brief flicker of fear. But all she sees is contempt.

"If I die, you'll be lost forever—"

She pulls the trigger.

#its long #i couldn't help myself #jacob seed x deputy #wips #thank you so much for this but also im so sorry???#i feel like i threw an essay at you and said “EAT UP!!!!”

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