Looking at the rota app thinking well. Tomorrow is going to be fascinating

Okay this is outrageously easy. The way I overcomplicated everything is ummm embarrassing but we move…

So I just really thought and took in that I don't have to put anything on a pedestal and tire myself out I should just stick to that “idc” mindset I have. I was manifesting waking up in the void since I wanted to experience it (and probably manifest my dream life through it) and I was like it's literally nothing, not that deep. Before I would affirm and vaunt many times, visualise and I’d experience that feeling of fulfilment and knowing multiple times until it felt natural. Then yesterday I basically just left it all alone since I already did everything (even when I didn't have to) so it's basically inevitable for me to get what i want, there’s no point in doing anything more now (also methods made me feel like i was struggling to “get” and i didn’t like that). Anyway last night I woke up in the void (by literally falling asleep normally) and I didn't even freak out or anything I was just like "hm okay". I affirmed that I manifest things I want extremely fast and I wake up in the void every night, after I just chilled there for a bit.

I came across this post on how to make your desires feel natural to you i forgot who it was and I honestly can’t be asked finding it but it said to think of it this way. Let’s say many people want a certain feature you have like your eye colour or hair type/texture and they really want it, they even get hella excited or happy thinking about having it. But when you actually take the time to think about that feature you don't even give much of a reaction like you don't care as much that's cus you already have it, it's always been yours. I know I'm repeating what everyone has said and that's because that's literally all there is to say honestly. So being on tumblr scavenging for answers isn't doing anything really. everyone will just repeat the same thing but phrased differently to help people understand better and some people will get mad about them repeating themselves like….. yeah..? that's basically the answer to all your questions.

You think you’re “waiting” to “get” your desires but like it’s the other way round, your desires are waiting for you to wake up and accept that they’re already yours

So it's all just crickets and tumbleweed, if you're just sitting there questioning why you, apparently, don't have your desires. Imagine your desires are just awkwardly watching you ignoring the fact that you already have them and they’re right there in front of you. They’re probably just looking to the left and right, scratching their head. it's especially awkward when you're looking at the 3D for answers when it's literally useless and doesn't do shit, it only reflects old circumstances. That can only change when you turn to yourself or the 4D for answers, and of course any method will help but then again it all comes down to you to decide if it works. If you "want" your desires don’t dismiss what it is that "gets" you them...idk how to phrase it but just start applying and persist it's honestly too easy.

Anyway enough from me, I'm finally deleting this app right after this. This was long sorry if it doesn't make sense but this is how I understood it. To summarise you're all that's left to"getting" your desires. Think of it as having a breakdown over not being able to find your glasses or hair tie but turns out you're wearing it the entire time.

Thank you Wii and all the other bloggers who take the time out of their day to help others with all of this. Take care of yourselves!!

THIS IS AMAZING!!! I’m SO proud of you!! SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY APPLIED WHAT THEY KNEW AND NOW LOOK AT THEM!! you deserve this so much honestly i’m beyond happy for you!

Also i REALLY love the way you put yourself on the pedestal by saying that your desires are waiting for YOU and not the other way round.

laurie do you have any spare boxer!barty headcanons… from boxer james au…

SAINTS ANYTHING FOR U BABE U KNOW THIS

*cracks knuckles* okay so

he fights very methodically, almost like he's fucking possessed sometimes BUT his rivals still have a hard time reading him and predicting his moves bc he's also . reckless . and will break routine all of a sudden with the most dangerous combination u can think of

a lot of ppl are convinced he plays dirty or even cheats but the truth is that he's just Good and really fucking smart

as in, the thing about boxer barty is that he can get a read on his rivals during the first handful of seconds

yes he's strong yes he's a wild card and yes he has the technique but what makes him win at the end is his ability to . get into his opponent's head

the exception to this is james and not bc barty can't read him. it's simply that the hatred they profess each other is so visceral he just goes fucking Feral. both of them do

speaking of, they rarely get to finish their matches bc they always end up disqualified halfway through bc it gets Nasty pretty quickly when those two are involved

he's been on so many scandals. So Many. it's sort of ruined his reputation but his fans think is part of his charm

like . you know how athletes are very careful when it comes to their public images and take care of their bodies or whatever . yeah barty doesn't give a fuck about that and you WILL see a headline about him getting blackout drunk after one of his victories

this is mostly due to how controlling his father used to be back when barty was still under his thumb

in a way, most of what barty does has something to do with his father one way or another

everyone knows they had a very bad fallout like . it's public knowledge but since they don't have the details they're all soooo curious

interviewers know not to bring barty's dad up tho bc barty has flipped his shit before and on national television too so . they stray away from the topic completely

he's anti pr. his team has tried to clean up his act so many times. it never works. they've given up. at this point they're just ready to do some damage control

most of his money goes to his mother (his parents are divorced in this one and since his dad left her with pretty much nothing after they broke things off, barty took it upon himself to take care of her)

in fact, he lives with her

whenever barty loses a fight is Always on purpose

because he's obsessed with a certain nurse.. so he lets himself get beaten up from time to time just so he has an excuse to go see said nurse.. (it's evan. evan is the nurse)

evan is odd and offputing and he doesn't seem to like barty very much BUT he does seem to enjoy the sight of blood.. and analysing ppl's injuries even more than he does fixing them up.. so barty's happy to let him poke around

one time he lost a couple of teeth after a especially hard punch and while they tried to check his head and take him to the hospital barty's only concern was finding his lost teeth so he could bring them to evan

his friendship with regulus starts off as him finding reg Hot while simultaneously wanting to piss james off

but they end up Clicking and reg is the very first person barty opens up with about his dad + everything that happened with his mum

he had a thing with lily a while ago but it was mostly casual and he broke it off as soon as he found about her also sleeping with james.. they're still friends tho!! and barty is very fond of her

his first kiss with evan happens after he's dizzy and very out of it bc of the amount of blood evan just took from him (he spends more than a week thinking he dreamt it)

honestly most of his appointments with evan can be summarised by barty getting a lot of random erections and evan blinking at him with his dead brown eyes while he pokes around his body and worsens every single one of his injuries (before actually patching him up)

and im gonna stop myself there bc this is getting out of hand

You use procreate right? I'm a beginner in coloring. And your lighting and color is always so good. If you had like steps/tutorial/tips on coloring/lighting in procreate. I would pay for it even. It's hard to find a good tutorial on YouTube for procreate users, and the style that you do which is similar to the coloring style I've been trying to self teach myself for a while and failing. Anyways sorry if this is a weird ask, but I would honestly really appreciate it

One speedpaint coming right up!

Nothing weird about this question. Honestly, I struggle a lot as well, but my problem is the shape, not the colors. I suppose I can "feel" colors, that's why impressionists are my favourite (classics always help!)

I don't know if I can help with using procreate, because I'm not really savvy with it, I always use photoshop for more complex work as it is perfect for twicking lighting, changing tint etc. I prefer to sketch in procreate, because, a) it has many great default brushes, b) my back hurts from sitting on my pc, c) I can go anywhere, draw and immediately post it.

I’ll try to summarise what I figured out with procreate, and maybe give a few tips. But I don’t know if that’s the best way to use this tool. I’m just… winging it, haha

First, if you struggle with colors, look up the color circle

It shows exactly which color goes best with which. For example, if you use Orange for your lighting, and Blue for your shadows, it’ll look nice. Perfect, even. I love that one. Avoid using pure black for shadows, otherwise you risk to make it too… burned? Like, dirty. Be careful with Black magic.

I’ll use Zevlor here to show how it works.

In addition, you can use the opposite color to make the character stand out. It’s really important. What’s more noticeable, red on brown or blue on brown?

Also, learn to use masks. Really, they may be scary, but it saves SO MUCH time. Specifically with procreate, I always use them now for everything because I haven’t found the better way to avoid fixing the stray lines. With that solution, you'll need to correct only one layer at the start, the main one. Clipping masks are great to help with that, but procreate is a little uncomfortable in that regard. I’ll show what I do, perhaps it’ll make things clearer

Those are the most useful things to know, I think. Masks can be used in photoshop in the same way, I have a bad habit of creating too many of them so it's crouded. And they rarely have a name. I'm too lazy to name them all

Anyway, I hope I managed to answer at least one of your questions... or not X) I tried. Good luck with exploring Procreate!

You don't have to answer I can understand since I'm asking such a big thing that could take time,

but how did you understand Luci's character traits and personality so well? Knowing what to write about how he'd react in some situations and just knowing him very well? It's really such an amazing skill I love writers so much they have such a way with words and all.

Sending you lots of love <3

Hello!! Honestly no worries I absolutely love when people ask about my writing!! <3

The fact that this was sent in immediately after the previous ask summarising my characterisation as 'power bottom with an oral fetish' is honestly hilarious lmfaoooo

but seriously tysm!! The fact you think I've characterised him so well is so flattering!

In all honestly I'm not entirely sure, and I'm not (personally) entirely convinced I have gotten his characterisation 100% correct! I think the fun about being a writer is you can take these... 'artistic liberties' and if you write them well enough and convincingly enough (within certain constraints of reality) people will just kinda accept it

I guess as someone who spent their childhood and teenage years far too involved in fanfic-writing and mindless daydreaming inside their own head you start to gain a taste for ensuring characters stay within their own 'box' of characterisation and don't just begin acting how you want them to - this was a very long mindset I had to teach myself out of (I dread to think about some of the horrendous ooc fics I wrote in my younger years)

Even today, as someone who hopes to write their own book one day and has been using fanfic-writing as practice, I STILL have to reign myself in and really look at my work and think 'would they actually act like this'. For example, you have no idea how many times I've had to re-write a line of dialogue or just simply scrap entire paragraphs altogether after deciding that Lucifer/Adam/etc wouldn't act like that

Actual advice time - the main thing I do when I decide I want to write for a character, is study the character. I watch the series again focussing on that specific character and their interactions, and then I come up with my own little 'characterisation' of them in my own head: little traits that I've picked up on throughout their screen time like their mode of speech (and tics or mannerisms, and common phrases or specific vocabulary, if they mumble, etc) or their body language. [For example, my summarisation of Lucifer is: desperate to please, abandonment issues, overcompensates his slights with showmanship and flair, ruled by his emotions, a genuinely caring person.]

I also think you can actually deduce a lot from a characters physical presence on screen - their confidence, their anxiety, their happiness, their frustrations - and you can really run with it. If you can pick up on those key characters traits, just amp them up in your writing and bam you've nailed the key components of the character and everything else will fall into place. E.g., Lucifer is constantly taking deep staggering breaths when confronted by something out of the norm (Charlie ringing him, having to talk to Heaven, etc). What can be deduced from this? He doesn't handle his emotions well, he doesn't hide them well, he's easily flustered, he's not as composed as he wants people to believe. Ergo, whenever something is overly shocking, I really play on that characteristic.

Embarrassingly, sometimes if I'm really struggling with deciding whether a character would do/say something, I look up compilations of that character on YouTube so I can really focus on just them. I've always had quite a good knack for getting in other peoples (and characters') heads and this little boost really helps me. Sometimes I even look at other fanfics!

Basically: I'm not entirely sure, thank you so much, this probably hasn't answered your question at all, practice makes perfect :)

can i ask for a quick rundown of your mcd and/or mystreet rewrite? i’m a new follower and a tiny bit lost 😭

Ah, Ofc!! this will be a long post, because you said 'quick' and i just heard 'explain everything'. just because I don't know HOW to summarise everything, so I just explain what I can... which is too much.

each section will have a TL;DR if it's long, though.

So, the only rewrite I’ve actually, like, done so far is Amaranth (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310384)

It’s an MCD rewrite, the first one I did, and it’s not **technically** related to my overall rewrite universe, though I’m not going to totally discredit it. It’s where I got a lot of my ideas, and it was sort of a first draft for me. It’s very similar to MCD, just with events changed to how I would have written them myself. Major change is that the Zane/aphmau engagement actually goes somewhere. My favourite change was the Pikoro arc tho for some reason bc it was just my first significant deviation from the original plot.

Now… cannibalism and cult stuff, yeah?

(Don’t read past this point if you are uncomfortable with discussions of human-on-human meat/organ consumption)

Lycoris Radiata (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50710504) is the only part of this current era of rewrite!Aphverse that has any content so far.

TL;DR for this section: i mostly just emphasised themes present in canon, there's cannibalism for magical reasons, Shad is more relevant early on, and there's a reason why characters look like that when i draw them, i promise. Also, cult stuff!

LR is an MCD rewrite, which has some lore changes. It begins with Avra (Aphmau) travelling with Visher, Garroth being angsty, and so on. Only the prologue and first chapter are currently posted, and you don't need to read Amaranth to begin it (though it will follow similar storylines later on). Basically, the main premise is that it’s kind of a criticism of imperialism, organised religion, and so on. Those are themes already present in original MCD, and so I… expanded. Blood Magic is the main magic focused on as well. It's the kind that Avra uses, and it's the kind that makes SKs function. Avra has to consume blood and meat (typically organ meat, preferably human) in order to have any amount of magic, and depending on what creature the meat comes from, also grants her some fun little magical extras. She also has a strong association with Judgement(Shad) in my rewrite, and there is a reason I draw them so often together. Most character changes you'll see have some lore-based backing for it. Characters who are made darker-skinned, or have had their haircolour changed, it's typically due to them belonging to a particular ethnic group that i made for Ru'Aun or Tu'La, which does impact their characters in the way that they obviously grew up under certain cultures. Sometimes it'll just be because I think it looks cool, or for visual/thematic parallels with another character. If you're ever curious as to knowing why i have certain characters looking the way I do, then just ask. Oh, also, people aren't just loyal to Avra because she's nice. there's like an actual cult thing that begins happening and to say there's some weird shit with that would be... underselling it.

A Royal Tale, and Mermaid Tales both fall into the timeline between LR and the MyS rewrite. they're quite insignificant series, but i decided to devote myself to being a completionist.

My plans for them aren't really set in stone yet, but I know i want to expand upon them and their lore a lot more, and they will eventually both fall into the, uh, cannibalism and murder theme of the rest of the rewrites. they'll likely be little side projects. I have trauma from ART tho. Show makes me *uncomfy*

Mystreet.... yayyyy...

No official name for the rewrite yet, I'm working on it.

TL;DR: If you let an edgy teenager write MyS but they also watched desperate housewives so they write some sitcom episodes on the side. Also, Avra needs that gross-tasting nailpolish that stops you from chewing on your nails... but like... all over her body.

Basically, MyS except they've always been reincarnations of their MCD (or LR, in this case) selves, with some residual trauma and habits because of that. I'm going to lean more into the darker seasons, even though Ik popular opinion is that the light-hearted ones were the best, and I'll just focus more on lore and stuff. PDH has a 17 year old Avra joining PDH, after being homeschooled for a while due to having some mental health issues. I'm going to go a little more 'general highschool drama' vibes, might have some mystery shit idk. Will be less cringe than canon, because yes, i'm cringe and i'm free, but even i have limits. The more lighthearted seasons might just be amalgamed into one big 'sitcom style' fic, which will be set before S4 and such, but i'll probably make lighthearted chapters between the serious ones. S4, Aphmau's Year, S5, S6 and Her Wish will be my main priority, and will go into the whole murder and cannibalism theme of LR. It'll already have been kind of expanded upon, because MyS!Avra has a bit of a habit of auto-cannibalism (eating the skin around her nails/on her fingers, on the inside of her cheeks and on her lips) which eventually just... goes a little crazy. There is gonna be cult stuff in MyS too, it just might present differently to how it does in LR. Or maybe similarly. Idk, depends on how you view it.

This is gonna be long, so if you don't have the time to read it, it's cool, I'll summarise it like this:

I think I'm back. Kinda. Expect some blasts of Hol Horse fanart that I missed sharing here since November 2023 (if you followed my Twitter/X, you might have seen them)

Okay, I know excuses can be bad but here's mine to kinda justify my absence.

I admit that I had been feeling depressed with what's happening in P@lest1ne for the past 6 months, because I had never seen it happening in real time, in videos and interviews. 20+ years ago, anything about them came in the form of stories from actual P@lest1nians whom I had the privilege to meet during my volunteer work in school, and newspaper articles from local publishers. Our local broadcasters still chant FTRTTS whenever they talk about them. But the real-time atrocities and the aftermath really got me hard. I'm not one to shy away from real-life gore - true crime is my go-to documentary whenever I'm relaxing - but what's happening there - the injustice, the brutality, the depravity - can be too much for me to bear.

I'm not saying I'm used to it by now...I still hear my heart break with every dead and hungry child I see on my screen, but at the same time, I feel a bit more hopeful. Mainly because I believe in the P@lest1nians' faith and resilience, and I believe in mine.

Apart from world events, on a personal level, my company moved to a new building in December, about an extra 30 minutes drive away from my home, so I was almost on a blackout from online stuff back then. Didn't even touch the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse challenge (but thankfully they are done now...will share them later). The move-out was done around the end of January 2024, and then I got busy again with work in February. Work had been very hectic because everything had been disorganised since the move. Even now, we don't really have internet in the new building and had to use our phone data for that.

Wanted to get back last month, but delayed it until today because my cat was sick with cancer. My cat, little Vee, whom I had for 12 years, just passed 2 days ago, 1 day before my birthday ;-;

Anyway, all that said, I think I'm ready to be back now on tumblr. I know I missed a lot of drawings that I kinda promised myself to finish (like the Halloween Hol), and also posting the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse doodles. I missed other people's Hol Horse and HolPol fanart as well. I also have a few thoughts I wanted to share of our favourite JoJo cowboy too...

So in the next few hours, I'll be doing just that. I apologise for the massive spam that's about to come beforehand. Just note that if you cannot wait for the fanart blast, you're welcomed to dig for them on my Twitter/X.

On current notes, I'm in the middle of doing The Emperor Month Challenge. Basically, Hol Horse with the other Part 3 characters. I missed 2 days now, but I'll be catching up. This will be on until the end of this month.

For now, I won't be doing requests/art trades because I wanna start drawing for my JoJo OCs. I have been neglecting them for months.

Hopefully the depression will simmer down. The world is a mess, and I'm trying to soldier on.

Oh, and to my Muslim followers, Happy Eid-ul-Fitr. ♥

Alrighty friends, here we go, Breakfast Tea's Battle Scars Review. Putting it under the cut because spoilers, and also my levels of spiciness are at maximum. Lots of swears ahead! I don't tend to write book reviews (hi, unpublished author over here) but, uh, this is for science!

For the record, I have NO IDEA how these tie-ins are commissioned. So, for example, I don’t know if the author came up with the plot and it was okayed, or if she was told “do something with A, B, C and D and make it a book” so I appreciate that she probably didn’t have as much freedom as a fic writer.

Also, yes, I did get to the point where I was skimming chunks of the book, so if I'm factually wrong, feel free to correct me, but know that it won't make me like the book any better because my issues are layered and numerous👍

Also also, this is pretty stream-of-consciousy so go with me, okay?

Finally, there’s *one* spoiler that I’m guessing will tie into the game re: Greez.

Okay, let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Plot Summary (warning, I haven't done a good job summarising it hahahahahahahaaa)

The plot is - the crew go to break into a Haxion Brood base because reasons. While they're there they find a bunch of stormtroopers, one of whom is actually Fret, who wants to defect because she's sick of the Empire. Merrin is instantly attracted to her which, okay, sure, fine, to the point of becoming completely giddy around her. Also, Merrin's been struggling with her powers because of all her trauma from Dathomir (a very good a legit reason but, uh, didn't we do that with Cal in the game ANYWAY AHEM) but DON'T WORRY, SHE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE SEX WITH THE RIGHT PURPLE LADY BECAUSE SHE’S ANGRY AT THE EMPIRE TOO AND SEX WILL SOLVE ALL OF MERRIN’S WOES AND LITERALLY ALLOWS HER TO ACCESS HER MAGICK AGAIN WOO! Oops, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fret then reveals she's not actually a stormtrooper but used that as a disguise to escape because don't you know it, she's got intel that will lead them to something called the Shroud, which will essentially make anyone who has it invisible. Think cloaking technology from Star Trek. That's the best comparison. So, if the rebels have this, they'll be able to undertake sneak attacks, but if the Empire has it, BAD NEWS. ANYWAY, the crew go to the person Fret’s working with who claims he’s anti-Empire too and he’ll use the Shroud for good and everyone agrees they’ll go get the schematics and bring them to him. Off they go and find said Shroud schematics after Merrin totally gets her powers back after receiving some sexual healing (no, really), only to discover the Shroud’s schematics aren’t written down but are instead secure in Fret's oops-not-dead lizard girlfriend Irei's head... and she's vaguely Force-sensitive because OF COURSE SHE FUCKING IS. Oh and the Fifth Brother is here too because he naturally wants the Shroud and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Mantis crew are all totally at odds with each other because it turns out despite living and working together for years they’re all after totally different things but have never said anything until now, which would be interesting if Fret wasn't there being all self-insert OC. And anyway, don't worry, the crew gets over it. Oh, and Greez loses an arm protecting Cal and Cere from the Fifth Brother about halfway through.

Uuuuh what else….??? Oh! Right, Fret’s dealer dude. They realise he’s bad, they defeat him. Boom. Can’t be arsed to go into more detail than that (also I was totally falling asleep reading this part, my bad???).

Fret and her ex(?) get back together (kinda??), leave the Mantis after the whole Shroud thing and the Fifth Brother are dealt with, Merrin opts to not go with them and Fret’s like “Oh, yeah, I see what you have with Cal” and Merrin’s like “??? Cal’s like that with everyone.” Interpret that at your discretion.

OH OH OH and Cere totally goes off to find some Jedi circlet thing that is LITERALLY A VIDEOGAME ACCESSORY USED TO BOOST STATS which is (unintentionally??) hilarious but fuck that it’s so completely lost in the rest of it, as is a lot of Cere’s desire to create a legacy for the Jedi.

The Good!

Hooray for LGBTQ+ representation!

Fight scenes are good when the action is happening.

Cere's characterisation is okay???? Like out of all of them, she feels the most in character... kind of???????? I get her motivation, and it feels fairly close to what I think she's gonna be up to in the next game. But her decision to… wait… sorry, this was meant to be positive. ARGH! Alright, let’s move on…

I really like the concept that, since the end of the first game, they’ve all been on the run from the Empire and the Haxion Brood. Excellent concept! I’m guessing Survivor will give us more.

I also really like the concept that the crew all want different things.

SPOILER!!! Greez loses an arm. This scene was pretty good and believable – Greez wants to save Cal and Cere and he makes a terrible sacrifice to do so.

The Everything Else

👎 Wish that LGBTQ+ rep was in a better written book. I do read romance sometimes (or, more accurately, books in which romance occurs) and I am not opposed to instant attraction. But I like it to be a bit less fire-hose-of-HAWTNESS to the face. It basically feels that Merrin has a week-long relationship with someone in which sex solves all her problems??? There's a lot of stuff in this book about why Merrin can't go to her actual friends with this (she's a Nightsister, dammit, and no one can understand how she feels but Fret is angry like Merrin is, therefore instacrush, lust, sex and AAAAARGH), but wouldn’t it be much more narratively satisfying if the people who support her through her troubles are the ones she has long-term relationships with??? Near the end Cal does become this person to her but it feels a bit awkward. Almost like he’s stepping up because Fret left. 👎 Merrin’s struggles here, while absolutely understandable, feel like a rehash of Cal’s entire journey in the game… except Cal sorts his shit out one way, and Merrin shags her way to better mental health. I mean, get yours, Merrin, but it feels like an odd choice, because… 👎 Fret, Merrin's love interest, feels like such an author self-insert it actually made me uncomfortable. Lady, I don't wanna read your fantasies!!!

👎 The plot doesn’t have room to breathe because there’s too much going on. And while I’m here, the Shroud feels completely universe breaking because while the prototype they wind up making is a fake and becomes a bomb, the fact that Irei designed it to hide herself (she’s Force sensitive, remember??!?!?!) means it could potentially work and literally change the Star Wars universe... But Irei’s a total non-entity in the rest of canon sooooooooo this universe breaking macguffin is pointless, making the plot largely pointless??? Or did I miss something when I got to the skimming part? WHATEVER. The Shroud thing… Aaaah, I’ll get back to that later… 👎 There’s too much authorial voice masquerading as the characters. In other words, I didn’t hear the characters, I just heard the author coming through loud and clear. (and okay, yeah, every time I have a character suddenly be British makes me guilty of this too BUT I like to think it’s not as bad as this. HEY! LET ME HAVE MY DELUSIONS ALRIGHT?!). For example, Cal goes off on this whole *thing* about the Fifth Brother's hat, which doesn't feel like him at all. At no point in the game did he go off about Trilla’s helmet (which he compares the Fifth Brother’s hat to) or trade really petty insults. He has his whole bravado thing going on, but not “dude, your hat looks STOOPID.” Seriously, it’s about a page of him being uncharacteristically cocky and sassy (more on Cal’s characterisation later). This authorial voice tendency makes everyone feel the same, especially when you’ll read one thing in Cal’s POV, move onto Greez’s, and Greez will think the exact same thing. There’s very little differentiation in character voice. The banter is BAD.   👎I'm not saying JFO isn't funny because it has some lovely moments (“Wait, do you have feet?”), but they are light touches. This book's 'humour' is like having an anvil dropped on your head. This is the book where subtly came to die until the VERY end where there’s some nice moments with Cal and Merrin… except it’s ruined by Cal CONSTANTLY thinking about how he needs to protect his family… Which brings me onto… 👎 This book is so repetitive. If Cal referred to the others as 'Family' one more time, or someone else said they wanted to make a dent in the Empire’s hull, I'm not sure my e-reader would've survived. I actually counted btw – pg 77 of my ebook edition has the word family on it 7 times. SEVEN TIMES. The word crops up 39 times overall and once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. The phrase ‘making a dent’ appears 9 times and again, once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. Oh editor, where are you?

👎 It’s also inconsistent in its storytelling. For instance, there’s a moment where Merrin and Cere go off on a mission together and Merrin reflects on how well they always work together… and then later on she goes off with Fret and is like “It’s so nice to not be alone for a change!!!” And while this is probably in reference to how her and Cal tend to approach missions from different angles (literally – above and below), it’s one of those instances where something here needed editing – e.g. actually Merrin and Cere have never done a mission together, therefore that’s nice, and so when she goes off with Fret she can be like “wow, twice in one day! I could get used to this!” It’s shit like that made the whole thing so frustrating. 👎The structure is bad. Midway through an otherwise good action scene, the POV character will stop to think for so long they would have been killed. It really disrupts the flow of the battle. The pacing just screeches to a halt. It’s the same whenever the characters reminisce on the events of the game, but I’ll come back to that. Stick a pin in it! 👎 The book also does a several days later flashback that wrecks the pacing. We’re at this moment of tension – they’re about to break into a compound but oh no – the access codes from Merrin’s girlfriend don’t work because GASP she lied about abandoning the Empire! Cue tension! Cue drama! Cue… romance in a ‘several days earlier’ flashback. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Honestly, poor, poor Cal the first time he gets to use his own room again. Echoes EVERYWHERE. He’s gonna go as red as his hair every time he looks at Merrin and everyone’s gonna get the wrong idea. Sorry, what was my point? OH RIGHT! Pacing! Pacing BAD.

👎 BEEDEE WUN. Get. In. the. Fucking. Bin. 👎 Speaking of our beloved BD, he is here, but he's referred to as 'Cal's droid' or Cal is referred to as his master, which... no. Absofuckinglutely NO. At one point, Merrin (who presumably has known BD for 2-3 years at this point), thinks of BD as Cal’s ‘strange but cute little droid’. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! They are friends. Best friends. Cere, when thinking of the crew, her family, states there are "four and a half people" on the crew. BD IS NOT HALF A PERSON, AND ALSO OH GOD THE HISTORICAL CONNOTATIONS OF THIS ARE SO BAD, HOW THE HELL DID AN EDITOR NOT PICK UP ON THIS?!?!?!?

👎Cal's characterisation is NOT good. He is so inconsistent outside of I MUST PROTECT MY FAMILY. MY FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, WHO ARE MY FAMILY. I WILL DIE TO PROTECT THEM, MY FAMILY, THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT TO ME THAT I LOVE, THE MANTIS CREW. Which, for the record, works as a motivator for him, but not when it’s done with all the nuance of a sledgehammer to the knees. When Merrin's busy having sex in the engine room (you know, where Cal sleeps, the guy with psychometry), he is initially naive to the point of stupidity. “Oh golly gosh, Merrin’s sealed the door, I guess that means her powers are coming back!” He was on Bracca for 5 years. I think he knows what goes on behind closed doors. When he realises what's happened, he is both totally blasé (the Jedi don’t have relationships so he’s never thought about it), and also jealous in a way that can be interpreted in one of two ways, depending on your shipping leanings. He's either jealous because Merrin is HIS woman (oh, no, sorry, I mean GIRL. Fucking HATE it when adult women are called girl), or he's jealous because Fret is inserting herself into HIS FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, THE FAMILY HE WILL DIE FOR when she’s a lying liar who lies. He’s *so* petty he refers to Fret as a ‘gal’ which, again, UUUUUUUUUUUGH. Oh, and he's seen an echo revealing Fret to be a liar, but he's not going to disclose it to the others because he doesn’t want to hurt Merrin when she’s finally happy and able to use her magick again and yet Fret might be about to kill his family, the crew of the Mantis, the people Cal will literally die for. Because they’re his family. PICK A MOOD, CAL. Actually, wait, I’m not done with what’s been done to Cal…

His characterisation makes me want to weep. He gets annoyed with Cere for wanting to find a Jedi relic despite... the entire... first game... being... about... this... exact... thing????? I think the author was going for “well, Cere wants to create a legacy for the Jedi so their history is not lost to time!” whereas Cal wants to (say it with me!) ‘put a dent in the Empire’s hull’ which, okay, there’s an interesting contrast, but Cal is someone who is inherently linked with the past so why is *this* the conflict between these two? It’s not quite working for me, probably because it’s just not central enough to the plot. If *this* was what we dug into, it would probably work really well. Unfortunately, we’re not here for that.

Cal also says shit like “What’s the problem here, team?” like he’s in middle management.

👎 The book is set somewhere between the two games and is purposefully vague, which *would* work if these characters *felt* like they'd spent years together instead of the author telling us they have. Relationship-wise, it feels like we're maybe a couple of months out from the game because the book wastes so much of its word count going back over events from the game… which happened years ago at this point! My guess is it was written with people who hadn't played the game in mind, which again just makes the pacing suffer. Plus, we’ve got five people who’ve lived together for years (they’re a family, a crew, they love each other like family, they will DIE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!!), and yet all of them see their mission differently. Y’all have been at this for YEARS but it’s only now that you realise you’re not united?! This would work if we were closer in time to the original game… but years down the line?! And again, this is a GREAT concept! SO much to work with there… except we’ve got sexy purple lady and lizard lady in the way of what could’ve been an amazing character exploration of CHARACTERS WE KNOW AND LOVE. STICK ANOTHER PIN IN IT!

👎 The author struggles to integrate game mechanics into a n ovel. BD-1 will just randomly hand Cal stims because hey, I guess that’s what he does in the game????????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 👎 The author hasn’t heard of show, don’t tell. Stop bloody telling me that Cal loves his family and show me – give me a scene where they sit down for a meal together. Give me a scene where Cal sits with Greez after he’s injured. ANYTHING that shows me rather than smashes me over the head with one of the 39 uses of the word family.

👎 Cere really randomly refers to Cal as her Padawan when he’s busy getting his arse handed to him by the Fifth Brother. Cal’s honest, he knows he didn’t beat Trilla because he was stronger than her, but this is YEARS later. Has he not gotten stronger in that time? SIGH. Also, Cal might be mentored by her but he’s not strictly speaking her Padawan? Okay, now I’m just nitpicking… 👎 WAIT, ONE MORE! Cal refers to Master Tapal as Master Jaro. That just irritated me.

How I’d Rewrite It

So, let’s take the pin out and examine the lack of character exploration (except for Merrin who we do get to have a good look at in a weird way). The main issue I have with this book is Fret and Irei get in the way of what could have been a really good character-building piece for the five characters we know and love from the game.

So, wanna know how I’d write it? Simplify and FOCUS:

The Mantis crew are infiltrating a Haxion Brood base because they’ve gotten their hands on a precious Jedi relic that the Empire are also after. While there, Cal and the others find the relic but are attacked by the Brood and the Empire. A defector (Fret) finds them and says the Empire is using the Fifth Brother to hunt for the Shroud’s schematics and its inventor (Irei), who’s in hiding. Fret gives them the name and location of the broker who will pay the crew for retrieving the Shroud and Irei – a man linked to the Rebellion known as Luthen Rael. He’ll also give them Irei’s location. While trying to escape, Fret gets shot and killed by the Brood or the Empire or WHATEVER and the crew feel somewhat obligated to carry on with her mission because the Shroud is a double-edged sword. Cere’s hopes of starting her great Jedi legacy have to be put on hold, Merrin’s still worried about her powers because she’s lost and doesn’t know if she’s getting the vengeance she seeks, Greez thinks finally Cal’s going to stop going for bigger and bigger gambles, Cal’s excited to be doing something really important, and BD-1 is happy to see a new world and meet new people. Also, there’s no breaking into anywhere without him, and they need to move fast.

Great, we’ve got our ticking clock – get the Shroud before the Fifth Brother!

However, because the crew’s been run ragged due to being hunted by the Brood for so long, they’re starting to make mistakes and Cal’s taking bigger and bigger risks with little pay out, so the crew goes into the mission at odds with each other. After BD hacks his way into the systems and locates Irei, Merrin gets her to safety. Cal and Greez get hurt when they go up against the Fifth Brother because Cere, convinced she needs to try and save him from the dark side because he too was once a Jedi like Trilla, tries to save him and it backfires horribly. They all manage to escape and get to the Mantis, fall out because they all want different things. They take the time needed to figure that out and reunite, take Irei to Luthen (they get out just in time when the Fifth Brother comes back again), Cal and Merrin fight him off together because Merrin’s got her powers back because she has a purpose again (working for the Rebellion) and off they go to the next adventure.

Your subplots are essentially the same:

Cal wants to stick it to the Empire and help as many people as he can, while keeping his family safe, however he needs to understand that doing this randomly is essentially pointless (which… okay, I have issues with this too but if I go off on that you’re never getting the next chapter of the Big Fic. I’m working with what I got, friends!!!)

BD-1 is just happy to go wherever Cal goes so long as he gets to scan new stuff and slice new systems!

Cere wants to build and protect the Jedi’s legacy by gathering everything she can of their history. She *is* tiring of the seemingly hopeless battle against the Empire and *wants* to put down roots, and she *needs* to be honest with Cal about this (who, once he got over his “you can’t leave me, Cere!” initial reaction would be absolutely fine with this??? HEY, WORKING WITH WHAT I’VE GOT!)

Merrin wants to regain her powers, and she needs to come to terms with the terrible trauma she experienced, but she can do this not through what is ultimately a fling, but by being honest with Cal, Cere, Greez and BD and working through it with her family. You tie it into the plot by having them working for the Rebellion, which means Merrin finally feels a purpose because it’s through the rebels she sees that she’s not the only one who suffered great loss and, like them, she can do something about it. And hey, maybe she hooks up with Irei in a much subtler and less SEXUAL HEAAAAAAAAAAAALING way because she wants to.

Greez wants to stick with his family, but he needs to be honest with Cal and say if they’re going to keep doing this whole kicking it to the Brood and the Empire, they’ve got to be smarter about it.

Basically, by cutting out all the OC bullshit, you focus on the crew we all know and love from Fallen Order without some rando OC being there to FLY THE MANTIS. Get the FUCK out of there! If I didn’t think Fret was a self-insert before, her getting to fly the Mantis sealed it for me.

There is a GOOD CONCEPT buried in the depths of this book. It’s just, y’know, not to my taste.

Alright, I think that does it for now. PHEW! That feels better ^_^

Life update (in lack of Starling update)

So, I think I would like to avoid another "going dark" episode like the one from the last two-three months. That one was because of war, and war is still very much present, but at the moment, my lack of writing is mostly due to other matters. CW Cat Medical Stuff: I have a cat. My mother is his human, but I take care of him and I love him very much. Unfortunately, he started feeling unwell two weeks ago on monday morning. He hid all sunday night, he wouldn't eat all day, he was not moving from his hidey hole, I was worried. I called the vet monday evening after confirming he was feeling worse and worse, and was instructed to give first aid painkillers and bring him the next morning. Since then, its been an ordeal of unclear diagnosis. Obvious infection without a source. My vet is very professional, but even after hospitalizing him for close care, going through multiple in-depth tests and giving him broad antibiotics, he wouldn't eat, while the tests were showing nothing but a sourceeless infection. Eventually I was sent with him to a vet hospital to do a specialized ultrasound. That too showed inconclusive results but there were enough findings to make my vet press for an abdominal operation. Its very lucky that they did, and very lucky that they insisted on doing it that same eveing. Turns out the poor thing had a gall bladder infection, which did not show in blood tests or ultrasound, and somewhere in the few hours between the last ultrasound and the operation the gall ate a hole in his stomach and it was leaking into his abdoman. The operation saved him in the nick of time, though it was touch and go for a couple of days. It is now the third day of him being back at home, he has a feeding tube and has to be tube fed 6 times a day. He also gets 9 types of meds, some of which need to be taken with food, some away from food, so I am his home nurse for the next two weeks at least, that assuming he'll keep improving. END CW Cat Medical Stuff. And as if to add insult to injury, I've been feeling ill since the begining of this week, and after testing negative at first, I am now positive for COVID and feeling it heavily. In fact, my mother now has COVID too and she needs care as well. So to summarise, I hardly have time to sleep, so investing myself in the angsty Bren and Fairy PoV enough to write is not really working right now. I must focus on taking care of parent and cat, and though I don't know how much the vet bill is yet (still pending on that) I do know its going to be in the several thousands, so I must focus on that as well. (Sadly, if you don't have pet insurance, any intensive care or test costs a fortune here.) So, please stay tuned as I try to restore some order to my life and calm things down a bit. The wizards are still very much on my mind, in fact, they are one of the things keeping me sane at the moment. If you like my writing and would like to tip me on Ko-fi, there's a link in the header of my page, or you can just search Kaiannae. (sadly I hardly uderstand Kofi, but I know the page works. I intended to make an actual content page there but never got the time with everything that's happened in the last few months.) It would all go towards bills and would be very much appreciated. Also, if you'd like to see or have an idea for a short oneshot you always wanted to see with the wizards, Starling AU or just Shadowgast, feel free to toss them in my direction. I might not be able to invest myself in my main writing right now, but I might be able to do a short thing as I wait for feeding times to post seperately for ya'll, especially night feeding times... Again, I apologize for the wait. Please stay tuned.

salut, salut~! i’m back, and today I thought I’d share with you my usual study routine when it comes to french! before we begin though, please remember that everyone is different and what works for me might not be the best for you <3 ok, c’est parti!!

no. 1 - reading! (10-15 min)

i usually start my study with some reading to get my head into the gear of another language. i’ll pick an article or page from a book that i’m interested in and read it through, seeing how much i can understand and summarising it as best i can once i’m done. then i’ll reread it, and highlight the words i don’t know or can’t remember. i’ll look up the meanings, and these go in my set of flashcards on zorbi. from there, i like to translate about 5-10 sentences or so, thinking carefully about how my word choice can best convey the meaning.

no. 2 - flashcards! (5 min)

now that i’ve done some reading, i’ll review my flashcards. these i’ve compiled over a little while, picking out words i don’t know yet or frequently forget and studying them to make sure i can recall them confidently. i don’t spend too long on this, and rather do short sessions often because i find it helps me remember them better.

no. 3 - writing! (10-15 min)

next up, writing! most of the time i’ll either go with a diary entry about my day, a bit about the topic i just read up on or anything generally interesting that i’ve encountered in the last few days. because the things i write about are so relevant to my life, i find it has helped me to be able to comfortably express myself quicker than other methods i’ve tried. i’ll write without looking at any grammar notes or vocab, just remembering everything i can off the top of my head and correct after i’m done. sometimes i don’t have any mistakes, but more often than not i’ll have made a few small errors such as ‘un’ instead of ‘une’ or a misspelled adjective.

here i have a 5 minute break :D

no. 4 - grammar! (10-15 min)

grammar is something i struggle with in french, so as much as i hate it, i have to include it in my usual routine to get it to stick. i’ll either practice bits of grammar i made mistakes on during my writing, or look for something new to learn on YouTube and make notes. most of the time this is the slowest part of my session - since i like to write quite fast and freely, i often forget simple things when it comes to grammar, so here i have to really slow down and take my time.

no. 5 - speaking! (10-15 min)

to finish up, i’ll practice speaking. i do this in a number of ways - sometimes i’ll chat with a study buddy on zoom, call up a few of my friends who are native speakers or record myself speaking on my phone and go back and review my pronunciation. i like to work on making my words clear and precise, and try to talk about things out of my comfort zone. because i’m not based in france or another french speaking country, i don’t get much chance to speak, so i usually have a lot to say here!!

well, there you go! this is what a typical study session looks like for me. obviously there is always variation where i’ll try different techniques, switch up the order/types of stuff i do or work for a shorter or longer period depending on my energy levels, but this is more or less it! thanks for reading, et je t’aime! <3

The soundtrack for season 2 is unbelievable. I thought nothing could beat season 1 music, but Natalie Holt did it again. I’m in awe. I can't wait for Vol.2.

I’m not a musician, I don’t really distinguish different instruments apart from general terms, but for myself I summarised that strings mainly belong to Loki and Sylvie, the theremin to TVA and Mobius, chorus/voices to HWR and Victor Timely. And again, it comes in three.

Burden of Wisdom

This is the first track for season 2 and it actually starts with the same whispery voices that can be heard in He Who Remains, which is the last track for season 1! I recommend listening to both in chronological order. The contrast between them, the character and gravity they convey. Ugh!

Theremin, chorus and strings are intertwined in a heartbeat-like sound. In this track you can actually hear a bit of the TVA theme but performed on Loki’s strings, as if he's accepted his fate paved for him and Sylvie by HWR. It does sound like a burden.

One Shot

It’s complex music with a lot of drama, hope and despair but also a happy ending. And it is a complicated sequence when Loki time slips to the future, is pruned and gets back to the present. The harp and chorus sound almost asgardian. It’s very stringy, and there are Sylvie’s strings this time too, and an epic, heroic build-up and Loki’s iconic fanfares when he is pulled from the time and soft lands on Mobius. To me personally this is very Sylkius somehow

Temporal Loom

It is the hard of the TVA, so the music sounds like a heartbeat, slightly irregular, quickening by the end. The whispers, and then the epic chorus. You can clearly see a small fragile man on the gangway against this monstrous merciless machine.

Zaniac

This is a banger. 70s disco beat, something from a James Bond movie. But if you listen closely, you can hear strings from Loki Green Theme in the background. They sound ominous but not loud enough for Brad to take it seriously just like he underestimates his opponents just a moment later. Loki’s strings and TVA’s theremin make pretty damn good combo, I love it I love it I love it so much.

Delivery

Such hopeful, pensive music. You know the history was altered that very moment and can’t be undone, this boy will change everything for better or for worse. In the end, the ultimate power in the universe are books in right (or wrong) hands. Chorus is there and is very prominent, not a whisper but almost angelic choir.

Time to Go

I looooove how this one starts so non-HWRy! Very playful, funny and slightly chaotic which suits Victor’s luminary persona that he puts on to hide his vulnerable soft self. It also has Loki’s iconic fanfares, performed by a woodwind this time. It doesn’t match with Loki’s appearance like in One Shot, but still is a really nice touch. And then it’s calm, pensive and somehow lonely. And that’s how Victor is, really.

O. B.

OB’s theme sounds like something from the future. His main notes are simple, optimistic tones arranged with electronic background. It stands out from all other TVA personnel related music. Just like him: a genius unstoppable engineer, alone in his department who won’t hold a grudge for this, always busy, always happy to see his colleagues and work in a team

Your Girl

Hauntingly beautiful and tragically romantic, but with undertones of static, Jaws and a villain theme from a horror movie.

I don’t wanna stop but I will because I feel like I’m starting to repeat myself and don’t have enough words to describe music. No, no, okay, one more

Tricks

The thrill of the chase. Brad's personality aside, it's terrifying to be chased by someone you can neither outrun nor outtrick. Makes you think what would happen if Loki suddenly changed his mind and turned into a full mode villain. Q&A has a similar vibe but with far more dark undertone.

okay I really need to stop here

All I wanna say is, Natalie Holt knows how to convey the essence of a character through music

heya - get some good rest?

some new posts dropped, other people have been sending in questions. i'll summarise what might be important, but it's definitely possible i've missed stuff through lack of context, so i attached all the posts to look through i'm curious how much of what's about your/'your' past is actually accurate. we might be able to find clues in what's been changed.

ask: did you consult uxie on this; answer: yes of course + team galactic as justification for bringing back old alpha zoroark guarding the cave. logical explanation here

ask: flicker's personality; answer: sweetheart, cuddly and clingy, lazy and sleeping most of the time, favourite pets are muzzle rubs. might be able to determine if something's off from how you remember...

ask: have you had a pokemon named tiph; answer: one of flicker's littermates adopted to a nice family in unova. whoever asked didn't give any reason for asking that specific name but hopefully it didn't raise suspicion

ask: would you ever own a hisuian zoroark; answer: no, first i don't like the word own, we'll be partners and equals, second they're powerful and owning one may not be safe due to poor health plus long fur and such. possibly look at the exact wording closer here?

ask: tell us more about flicker; answer: wasn't allowed pokemon growing up due to poor health and them being too energetic and/or allergies, but when flicker was born he was perfect due to gentle and short fur. how much of that is what was the case for you?

ask: plans for bringing chroma corp to greater heights; answer: conservation of native pokemon + hisuian variants, mother is working on funding hospitals more. sounds logical enough

ask: relationship with parents; answer: 'Aww, I love my parents of course. They've given me the best life they could have :)' insert X doubt meme here. and professionally worked pretty hard but that makes sense

ask: about 'yourself' + uncle's house; answer: 'you' enjoy the snow, swimming, and playing with the pokemon in the area, and house used to be a daycare, is owned by lilliana and violet, and is thought abandoned. the former - if the swimming is made up i at least give them points for swimming being super helpful for fibro; the latter - you'd be more sure than i am on whether they actually don't know or are just pretending

ask: interaction with uxie; answer: did have a couple when young, it's where the yellow in eyes comes from. not explicitly saying anything about being chosen, although this could be implicitly saying it - not familiar enough with the concept for if anyone would see that and think 'ah, chosen'

this. i am not sure what to think about it - in the best-case scenario they legitimately just want to bring back the hisuian variants and are just using your image to help get people interested in the idea for. some reason????? but i'm worried it could be a defamation attempt, now i think about it. if 'you' bring back zoroark and someone is promptly attacked by one - say, perhaps, the one that is currently pretending to be you - then 'you' will probably be blamed for it... and there's always the possibility that it's not aimed at you but something regarding all of sinnoh. bringing it back to an earlier time perhaps, though what would that even accomplish for them? makes even less sense than the whole hoenn weather debacle...

anyway. i'll keep you updated on anything that i see, though i'm a little out of it today (almost certainly unrelated. i got completely different bureaucracy going on here) so i'm not sure how much i'll be able to get out of them myself.

stay safe, okay? and---i'm sorry about worrying you with potentials yesterday. i hope maple took good care of you, can you thank her for me?

[attached is every post from chroma corp in text form for easy searching, with timestamps and image metadata and descriptions included] //so i don't have to copy-paste them all and lengthen this unnecessarily

okay. this is a lot, let me try and address all these separately...

consulting Uxie makes sense, my parents do that before doing just about anything.

Flicker's personality is all accurate from when he was a cyndaquil, although he was never really lazy and sleepy. if anything, he followed me around constantly, he was always on that move...i hope his health is alright...

asking about Tiph is ballsy, but their response was smart, saying she was adopted out. They're being very careful not to mention any pokemon they don't currently have..

hah! flexing the power of a hisuian zoroark. actually, they might have taken that as a bit of a threat based on that phrasing. i wonder if my father captured them or if they're a wild zoroark...if they're captured this may not be what they want to some extent...

my poor health..yeah i'm allergic to most furred pokemon and grass types, and i had some other health stuff going on at the same time, so finding a partner pokemon for me was hard. they're pretty correct on that front, although most of the allergy stuff stopped being a problem when i was old enough to take medicine for it

the conservation and hospital stuff all seems right, those were Chroma Corp goals from the beginning.

aha. ahahaha. yeah no the loving the parents is a bold faced lie, but i suppose if the truth was told about that it wouldn't look good

i can sort of swim, although i wouldn't say i enjoy it. i'm not very good, have to use a kickboard. i still do it cause as you said it's good for fibro. interesting that they said auntie owns it still and its abandoned. my parents know it was left to me in uncles will, although i guess saying that would sound a bit weird and leave opportunity for more questions

a 'few' interactions. haha. more like twice weekly. arc. they are right about the eyes thing though.

...all your theories seem viable. it's hard to Know what my parents are thinking. i appreciate you keeping me updated though :)

Maple took very good care of me and she got all the pets, i'll give her extra thanks for you

Anyway (after summarising all the best bits of all the books) my feelings on Chuck Dixon are just so conflicted. Fortunately for me I am an adult who has gone through “the writer I really enjoy is a Terrible Person and in hindsight some of their views are really weird” enough times by now that I can allow myself to bring nuance to the situation.

Because, it’s Chuck Dixon! If you read 90s and early 2000s Bat comics you’re reading a LOT of Dixon. He wrote some of my favourite characters through my favourite eras for them, and he’s a continuity and crossover king. So, of course I like his material.

He wrote stories I am completely unreasonably in love with. Batgirl: Year One. Brotherhood of the Fist. Nightwing #6, #16, #25, #55-58. Birds of Prey #8. Hunt for Oracle. The three issues immediately after Joker Last Laugh in Robin #96, Nightwing #63 and BoP #32 where Tim and Ted Kord run around in the Bug tidying a lot of loose ends (escaped villains) up. Robin #34, where Tim spends the entire issue ducking Helena at a school Shakespeare in the Park trip. The bit of Legacy in ‘Tec #701 and Robin #33 where Dick, Babs, Helena and Tim team up to take out Talia Al Ghul and the boat of Internet (even as Bruce and Bane have a boring punchup elsewhere).

He’s also a conservative who’s gotten more and more reactionary in his old age and even back in peak mid 90s was writing heavy personal opinions into his work. Don’t do drugs, kids! Don’t have underage sex! You should definitely keep that pregnancy and give the kid up for adoption! Almost all my gang kids are Black! (Also. So many funerals. I cannot spell out how many funerals of kids Tim went to in his run of Robin. Kids got punished by the narrative a lot. We TALK a lot about the Identity Crisis-War Games conflict that had Tim go to Jack Drake, Stephanie Brown and Darla Aquista’s funerals on three consecutive days, but go back to Dixon’s Robin and he’s dealing with another dead classmate ever 10 issues or so for a while there)

But given I’ve just done a strict in order read through from 1989 onwards and I’m up to 2009, it’s notable how much more I started sighing every time I saw Dixon listed as a writer on an issue after 2003 and the end of the Dixon domination era. Some of his stuff after this is still fun but it starts to stand out more as weird when not every second issue I’m reading is written by Dixon. (Have to say though, parts of his 2007 Batman and the Outsiders run were hugely entertaining, even as I side-eyed quite a bit of the characterisation. Well. The parts that involved Francine Langstrom, Salah Miandad, Rex, and the bit with Cass and Tatsu together, generally, were entertaining).

So yeah. Not to stan a guy who in the present day is tied up with Vox fucking Day et al, but wow did a lot of conservatives lose their minds and become a LOT worse as general society trends moved further out of their viewpoint. And Dixon is definitely in that category.

I’d need a very solid reason to pick up anything Dixon has written in the past 10 years (and ‘Robin 80th Anniversary issue’ does count for ‘solid reason’), but he’s 100% worth reading back in his prime Bat days, as long as you’re aware of his little hobbyhorses and ready to roll your eyes when the writer on board opinion gets too obvious. There’s a reason he was writing so much material back then, and it’s not just because he was a reliable writer who could turn around a script on the correct date.

(But also it’s perfectly ok if you never ever let him write another comic, DC, we are all JUST FINE with that)

so... qi rong, huh. a very intriguing little goofball whose most hated actions i've decided to re-analyse for myself.

alright, to summarise this entire post, a character doesn't have to be nice to be interesting. there are a lot of words you can describe some of these guys with, but "nice" is most definitely not one of them.

and that's okay.

jun wu is not a nice or good person. jin guangyao is not a nice or good person. neither is qi rong or the old palace master or whoever "bad guy" made to face off with protags.

but it doesn't mean they're not good characters. it doesn't mean they aren't necessarily badly written or anything of the like. it doesn't mean you can't like them.

it also doesn't mean, that in the off chance that you do like them, you get to correlate them being a good character with them being a "good person" and use this as a reason to like them. you don't need that reason. hell, you don't even need a reason! because people are going to like what they're going to like, and that's okay. the only issue is when you start liking something for all the wrong reasons. (@ qi rong stans because while it's good that you like that blorbo, you also can't overlook everything.)

this isn't to say you mustn't like a character because they've "done bad things!!1!!!1"

no. this is to say that you just can't push their necessarily bad qualities aside when you do it.

this also doesn't mean that you can use a character's trauma as an excuse. while your trauma can shape you into who you are today, you are ultimately your own person and make your own decisions.

"this character needs a hug" and "this character needs to be fucking decked" are statements that can and should coexist!

other characters are allowed to hate your favourite character. you CANNOT say someone who was harmed by another person (no matter whether one of them is good or bad) is obligated to forgive them- even more so when they don't feel sorry. even if we, as the fans, like a character, we can't expect other characters in canon to do the same- especially when they have good reason to do so.

like... look, the point isn't that qi rong didn't want to kill hong-er and didn't do so anyway. the point is that he grievously harmed a child. does that mean you can't like qi rong? of course not. but it also means that hua cheng, a fictional character may i add, is perfectly justified in not liking him.

and, if i may guess, hua cheng dislikes him mainly due to the disrespect towards xie lian. as for that, though? that's not a crime. sure, it's rude, and we, as fans of a work who are seeing it through xie lian's point of view, will naturally dislike it. but it's still not worthy of like, torture. again, unless if you're hua cheng. in which case, sure, beat up whoever you want for being rude to your husband. that's fair. i'd do that too if i actually had a relationship.

however, as fans? we see things in a broader way since we can see everyone here. if we're not judgemental, we're the neutral third party and we should ultimately agree that just because someone is particularly annoying or offensive, doesn't mean you need to put them in a meat grinder or something. what the hell.

"but qi rong is repeatedly humiliated in the books-!" he's the comic relief character. it is his job.

our job? our job is to break him out of it the same way every fandom does with the comic relief character. bro, we live in an era where there are 100k word angst fics about, i don't know, cartoons or something. some screeching dude in a danmei being the source of some much-needed comic relief doesn't make him abused.

if anything, slow clap to qi rong for breaking the cycle of abuse that his father perpetuated with.

ahhh thank you for asking! i’ve been travelling around europe and busying myself with projects and whatnot. june was pretty hectic so i couldn’t be on tumblr as active as i wanted to unfortunately 😭 but i missed talking to you!

i did read (and reread gentle hit), both chapters were amazing and i was so immersed in the story! i’ve typed/updated my thoughts on the first chapter below!

chapter one:

- ‘she plastered a fake smile on her face, something sebastian noticed in an instant’ his immaculate people (or in this case, y/n) reading skills, i’m in love. though it’s not hard for me to adore seb vettel lmao

- love the way you wrote lewis and y/n’s easy chemistry! i really like how you expressed their love for each other in their small gestures, whether it’s simply smiling at the other or just laughing. they’re an adorable couple, and the conflict between wanting her to stay in her blissful power couple with lewis or end up with a pining seb is perfectly set up. genius.

- just reading how angst and jealousy hit poor seb in the gut feels so visceral even though lewis and y/n’s interactions are seemingly minor, but this is magnified when you elaborated on their past. this, along with seb’s choice pushing them further from what each other would have wanted was painful (but in the best way). the fact they could’ve had everything but got lost along the way… man.

- platonic sewis! always a sucker for how supportive the both of them are for each other, even though they’re going through different challenges of their own here. to paraphrase ada limon, i love how men love.

- her finding mark webber instead of seb, interacting playfully with mark AND calling seb a hazard to his face. if i were seb i would be eating my hat.

- him playing dumb and just looking after y/n so longingly… oh seb.

- seb actually listening to what y/n said, rejecting lewis’ offer to drink & texting her to apologise… these last few paragraphs were an absolute rollercoaster of emotion, but i think it’s a great summary of the complicated relationship and past between seb and y/n. two kindred souls with vastly different emotions about their past and current scars, trying to work out a future with or without the other. the conflicting ways in which they try to move on just makes my heart ache. and it’s only the first chapter.

- ‘… but the four time world champion always appeared to always find a way back to her.’ OH. what a punch in the gut.

to summarise, i think the revamp of the series is a great step forward! compared to the previous iteration, i think your voice, writing style and characterisation (amongst others) have grown vastly, and it just shows how much you’ve developed as a writer <3 loved this first part and can’t wait for the rest!

(my thoughts for chapter two will come in a new ask soon)

- seb anon 💙

i hope you have been enjoying your travel around europe? would love to know which countries you have visited! and i missed talking to you a lot too! X

and can i just say how you are like the dream reader to have? like this kind of feedback and commentary is the best thing ever and this genuinely made me feel better about my writing :)) youve written everything out so perfectly and you pay attention to the small details, and i cant tell you how much i appreciate that !! <3

the ''easy chemistry'' is the best way to describe the dynamics between lewis and yn! cause their relationship is ''easy'' but in a very positive way! and you are completely right about the conflict she experiences!

EXACTLY! and you worded it so perfectly omg! seb knows everything ended the way it was supposed to, but he cant help himself to get jealous of ''what could have been them'' when he looks at lewis and yn.

the friendship of seb and lewis is also an important part of the series so im SO happy to hear you say that! it will become a big point in the later chapters!

her and mark's friendship is just comedic relief :))) and the ''hazard'' line is one of my fav things!!

your last three points are just spot on! and the way you have the entire thing worked out already from the first chapter is- wow, as a writer this is like the biggest compliment ever :) again, i cant stress enough how much i appreciate and adore your attention to detail! i like adding little gestures and actions, cause often those say more than the characters' words <3

i cant wait to see what you thought of the second chapter! and im glad to hear you think ive developed as a writer, cause thats one of the most important things about this revamp!

have the most amazing day, darling anon!! x

“LIAVOSSO’S GALACTIC JOURNAL! - entry one: the Mantisi.”

This is one of the first of perhaps quite a few entries into what is basically just an easy way to summarise the nature of the various species in this universe. No music this time - but do read on! The remainder of this post is basically what the writer (Liavosso) has written in unity with it - on a separate piece of paper.

“Well - this hasn’t been a great start for what I was hoping would be a fun and easy way to recall my encounters with people… first they fight me on sight - then I discover their blood is WAY too good at staining! Like, I’m trying to shake off the ‘evil probably-cannibal Demon-monster descended from a famous murderous bounty-hunter with a Void-thing for a limb’ narrative, and here I go getting alien blood on so much paper that I might as well paint with it!… and I did - but dammit I had nothing to colour with!

But anyway! Anyway… the first entry of my journal is dedicated to the Mantisi - or more accurately - the White Herald. What I aim to do in each addition is have a model of a certain species pose so I can sketch them in all their glory and write about what I’ve learned about them - as well as my opinions and experiences with them. While I couldn’t do that here, I hope next time they are a little more… non-weird. Now, anyone who knows the White-Herald probably thinks I’m a bit mental for picking them first, but I have a good reason: my daughter (adopted) is a descendant of a White-Herald royal - which does incentivise me to get them out of the way early… She doesn’t mind me killing them - if you’re wondering - they aren’t exactly her favourite people.

So - first thing to mention: biology and history! The Mantisi are unusual, in the sense that they are one of the first milky-way residents (in this iteration of the universe) to gain the knowledge of genetic editing. Now, most Mantisi just got two legged variants and removed wings - and left it there. But the White-Herald… they went mad with it. They edited their features, their minds, even their natural defences, to look more like my subspecies - the Vyrocepters (not very well - but they have a ‘plan’ for that). To save time - and skip hours of lore about who did who and what that meant for whoever else - my Mum boinked one of their albino ones a long while back, and a big cult developed to preserve and advance that particular variation of Mantisi in order to somehow create viable offspring with anyone of my species. So, all White-Herald royals are albino, and have the more… ‘bug-like’ lower bodies, while their soldiers are two-legged, and are a dark shade of green. You won’t get too many who look more like other heralds - but there are some weird mutations for… obvious reasons. Things like four arms, multiples pairs of wings, and durable shells. Ok - so not much of that was biology than it was history, but again, this is a hectic start.

I’ll put this in too, because everyone asks - yeah they do have the same ‘fun-time’ organs. It’s a common thing with Mantisi that people think what goes on downstairs does much more than sit on a different bit of the undercarriage depending on which one you come across, but no - all of them tend to be compatible. At worst the top half of a royal has the soldier placement of the appropriate parts.

Ok! Next bit, next bit… what was the next bit… oh! My opinion! It’s not great. To me, the White-Herald are a stain on the race as a whole, and the universe they inhabit. I personally couldn’t see myself liking any one of them, even with my daughter in mind, and I doubt they would really ‘like’ me, despite their obsession with trying to make a bug and a mammal (I think we’re mammals - GenoDemons I meet won’t specify) work. So I’d say avoid them. That… might also be a good summary. Ok - next time I’ll have this sorted - with the Lybadora. In the meantime I’m gonna figure out how to phrase all this. Blade’s been a help, but in the end it isn’t my dominant hand and it can’t explain things well unless it’s in a pickle. Until next time!”