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maybeyourdaddy · 1 year

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Bratty sub: you can't tell me what to do

Dom:

#it's a dead meme but that won't stop me #bd/sm kink #bd/sm post #dom/sub #bratty sub #brat #d/s relationship #bdsmemes #bdsmmemes

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crrahsa-yamah · 8 months

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who gave this cat a medical license. (raya-o-senna, i guess)

#c'rrahsa yamah #whm #i'm nervous healing over 50. more skills to learn when to use? ahaha #i end up focusing too much on the party list instead of what's going on in the arena. and then you have a dead healer #but that won't stop me from being in ur praetorium memeing up ur cut scenes #because the dps queue is so annoying

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navstuffs · 1 year

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How would Leon Kennedy and Carlos Oliveira react to a GN!Reader who gets lazy/tired while on top

author's notes: there is a meme around tumblr that says, "horse pretends to be dead every time it needs to go on a ride." so yeah, this is sorta where this idea came from.

(NSFW +18 UNDER CUT)

Leon Kennedy

Leon knows you will get tired as soon as you offer to be on top. He watches as your hips snap lazily against his, keeping a short set of pace that doesn't make his whole cock disappear inside of you. He is focused on your pleasure expression, eyes semi-open, and wrinkled forehead. You look adorable and irresistible, he thinks. Leon's hands hold lightly in your hips as yours hold into his shoulders for support.

You try to fasten the pace even with your legs complaining, be a good lover, and not get lazy. You got this. You are in total control and enjoying yourself as you ride your boyfriend's dick.

But you both know you need more friction, and Leon has noticed the pout forming on your lips.

"Honey? Can I move now?" Leon asks, and you are almost tempted to say no. But your sex is eager to be touched, and you know you won't be able to keep up much longer.

Poor Leon, you think, as he pleads with his eyes, begging you to allow him to take control.

When you nod, a little embarrassed of your performance, all thoughts vanish from your mind when Leon changes the angle of his legs and starts to hit a spot that makes you see stars. Again. And again.

"Feeling good?" Leon grunts, and you roll your eyes, mumbling a yes.

He doesn't stop, just snaps faster inside you, his thrusts not faltering for one moment. Leon likes to watch you melt in his arms, biting his lips as he continues hitting that delicious spot that makes you moan louder. It is with pride and possessiveness feeling on his heart that Leon knows only he gets you to feel like that. No one else.

His hands grab your asscheeks, and you have to hold tight to his shoulders, his shirt, anything, so you don't lose your mind. He leaves you a blabbering mess, with incoherent thoughts and desperate moans imploring for more, if it is even possible.

"That is it, honey. That is it" Leon whispers satisfied, your body just clay on his hands. You would let him do whatever he wants with you at this point. One of your hands goes instinctively to your sex, rubbing it, desperate to feel your release.

It doesn't take long for you to cum, Leon's whimpers of encouragement being the last straw. Your whole body shakes as you moan his name, and you feel Leon hiding his face into your neck, marking you as his as he cums.

You both remain like this until Leon licks the spot he bit, whispering close to your ear.

"My turn to be on top next."

Carlos Oliveira

Carlos's hands grip tight into your hips as you slowly sit on his cock. Your hands are on his chest, your eyes closed for better focus as you move down, his cock burying deep inside of you. Though lubricated enough, Carlos is still big. That's why he doesn't complain when you take him slowly, your hands using his chest as support. He doesn't mind, and he prefers like that until you get used to his size. The movements keep slow and torturous, and Carlos is confused if you are trying to kill him now.

"What are you doing? Are you okay?" Carlos asks, his voice expressing concern as he scans your face. "I am not hurting, am I?"

"No."

As you continue the slow pace, Carlos tests by moving his hip once, and you bite your lips. He does it again, making you moan.

"Do you want me to move?" Carlos tries because he seriously tries to let you do what you want but needs more. He needs to bury himself deeper inside you.

"Am I not doing a good job?" Your tone sounds hurt, and Carlos tries to explain himself.

"That isn't what I am mean-" That's when he realizes your big naughty grin.

You don't answer, and Carlos wonders if that isn't exactly what you want. He pulls his legs up, bringing your body down into his chest, and thrusts his hips fast inside you, not stopping. Carlos adds more strength in every thrust. You want to move your hands for support, but Carlos uses one hand to grip your arms behind your back, and you can't move.

He keeps ramming into you, the headboard hitting the wall. Carlos likes to watch your eyes roll into your head, your leaking sex rubbing against his pubic hair, bringing him even more over the edge.

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

You can't even form a sentence to answer him, so close to your orgasm as you are. When you finally cum, screaming Carlos's name, it doesn't take long for him to follow you. He groans loudly, biting your shoulder and holding you tight in his arms, letting every drop of his seed inside you.

After taking a moment to relax, you flop to his side of the bed, gasping for air. Carlos gives you a side-eye as he wonders, curious.

"What was that?"

"Just trying to tease you," but Carlos knows there is more. He turns to your side, that face of his knowing you are hiding something. You admit, defeated. "Fine. I got lazy."

"You should have told me" Carlos brings you close to his body, kissing the top of your forehead. "I wouldn't have any problem getting on top."

You nod in answer, nuzzling into his chest happy and satisfied.

#leon kennedy x reader #carlos oliveira x reader #leon kennedy x you #carlos oliveira x you #leon kennedy smut #carlos oliveira smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #carlos oliveira #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy fanfic #carlos oliveira imagine #carlos oliveira fanfic #the preparation for the ot3 slowly comes #i swear when i put those three together i will destroy them

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mcflymemes · 2 months

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THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST * assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.

i love you. it's ruining my life.

does it feel all right to not know me?

i am who i am 'cause you trained me.

quick. tell me something awful.

i loved you the way that you were.

we were just kids, babe.

i can fix him.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

you said i'm the love of your life.

way up there, i actually love it.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

do you hate me?

did you think i had it in me?

what if i told you i'm back?

i still miss the smoke.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

you look like stevie nicks.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i still can't believe it.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

didn't you hear? they called it all off.

it's happening again.

my friends say it isn't right to be scared.

i might just die.

fuck you if i can't have us.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

no one's ever had me... not like you.

stay away from her.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

i don't think you've changed much.

that's where i was when i lost it all.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

i hoped you'd return.

do you believe me now?

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

what are the chances you'd be downtown?

is it something i did?

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.

the story isn't mine anymore.

what a charming saturday!

none of it is changing.

wild winds are death to the candle.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

i didn't want to come down.

everything had been above board.

blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

the professor said to write what you know.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

i built a legacy which you can't undo.

who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?

the effects were temporary.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

you're a professional.

long may you reign.

you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

only the gentle survived.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

are you still a mind reader?

let it once be me.

i haven't decided yet.

i still dream of him.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

it was always the same searing pain.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

she used to say she wished that you were dead.

tell me all your secrets.

they tried to warn you about me.

you're in terrible danger.

i'm the life you chose.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

no one asks any questions here.

tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.

i'm running back home to you.

you should see your faces.

you knew the price going in.

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

i don't ever want you back.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

am i allowed to cry?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.

they're going to crucify me anyway.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

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greenunoreversecard · 4 months

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HEYYEYHEY CAN I REQUEST LLOYD (ninjago) HEADCANONS PLEASEEEE (ty :3)

A/N: Ofc!I'll do general character ones, as well as x reader ones :) hope ye likey likey:pp

Lloyd, The Greenest and Geekest mf.

General character headcanons:

Half Japanese half Chinese

His hair is box blonde dye and you cannot change my mind.

Left handed

Severely dyslexic and hands off all scroll reading and just reading oriented tasks to kai.

Def gen z vibes. Like, the others give off more inbetween z and millenial, so they dont always get his humor. And sometimes he uses that to his advantage and "Speaks in code" (uses as much slang as possible)

Has LED lights in his room set to forest green.

Has given himself a smiley face tattoo.

Cried over a dead goose once.

OK, just to preface i see cole as a stoner of Sorts and uses the excuse "it gets me closer to my element"

With that in mind cole let lloyd try it and now sometimes when he is told to unwind, of feels like he needs to take a chill pill he and Cole spark up

in the beginning of his leader ship role, he used to Say;"kick ass and take names" and if things went wrong he had the fuck it we ball mindset, but got better with time. There are still times they wing it, though.

if he isnt in his gi he almost exclusively wears his pajamas (aka a Hoodie, tshirt and sweats)

Vv tired, and now has a raging addiction to energy drinks due to his lack of Sleep.

He used to eat worms as a kid bc he Thought he it was evil.

Has a eyebrow piercing, and wants a tongue piercing.

Wears "reading" glasses, that he should technically wear all the time because he can't see up close and has a astigmatism,, but he says yolo. Zane then make him contacts after he almost ran into a moving blade and got his head severed.

Adhd and OCD, as well as the normal line up (anxiety, depression, cptsd)

Lloyd in a relationship:

Hes very distant in the beginning, it'll take time to warm up to you.

He tends to be orage cat vibes.

On the cat trend, he gets close for a bit Before becoming distant. Going through waves of affection, kinda.

He hasn't had like, any good relationships in his life so he tries to "protect" himself when he feels he gets to close to you, and so he pulls away.

He does the fuckboy face when your sad bc it makes you laugh, as well as That weird dice roll

He actually does the face/dice roll combo whenever he Sees you as he walks over, it's an inside joke now

primary giving love language: acts of service and quality time

Primary receiving love language: gifts and words of affirmation. But physical touch is also high up there.

Also, not expensive gifts. He hates those. Give him a stick you saw on a walk that made you think of him. He'll cherish it forever. And maybe cry.

He will cry.

will make noises at you and expects a noise in response or he'll be sad.

Also randomly bites you. He's a nommer

also sends you memes throughout the day.

As well as random pictures with the caption;"BABY LOK THIS IS S. US IF WE WHERE *insert whatever item here*

Called you babe, baby, love, shitface, asshole.

Expect kind and loving gentle bullying.

Doesnt know how to express his emotions to just expect him to come up to you, lightly shake your shoulders and aggressively say;"I love you bitch.i ain't Evea gon stop lovin you. Bitchhhhhhh" (vine reference)

Sends you .5 of everyone, himself included. He's addicted to Taking them. You will not get out of it.

Also sometimes just walks around in nyas stilettos for fun.

You two have fashion shows.

You also take over the Living room sometimes and build giant ass forts to watch shitty reality tv in and make fun oF The people

Overall, once he realizes you won't leave he's the most funniest loving chaotic guy.

But expect it to take a hot minute for him to realsie this

give him time,, but also have some deep talks..

Let him vent

and for the love of God don't hurt the baby's heart.

Expect inside jokes

#no beta we die like jason todd #greeny's inbox #Ninjago x reader #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #lego ninjago #Lloyd garmadon x reader #Ninjago x you #Male reader #gn reader #ninjago lloyd

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cree-future-rabbi · 26 days

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Prohammassholes:

1. Jews are indigenous to the area (just deal with it, maybe crack open a history book, or something educational, not memes)

2. I don't care about your white people issues

3. I am an indigenous Canadian. My family went through so much pain because of your stupid colonizer ancestors.

3. Both sides of my family are victims of horrendous things, genocide, torture, putting people on a rock and expecting them to be okay, while white people and non-aboriginal people can have beautiful land.

4. Residential Schools were a horrible truth.

5. The average age of you is about 20. Think about that. You complained you didn't get a proper education. Well, you sure proved it.

6. Palistine peoples are going through horrendous things FROM THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT daily. This includes torture of children. Kids who defied one order strapped to a wooden post and whipped with electrical cables. They need to be liberated from their oppressive government. A government that brainwashed the entire country to hate Jews. A country teaching their children marytism is the only way to get into heaven. There is fucking proof of this.

7. You don't care about the palestinian-people, you're just an antisemitic hive-mind because none of you can critically think or debate

8. I remember when debates on tumblr took days to result in personal insults

9. You are screaming over the people who are ACTUALLY needing to be heard.

10. This war, this terroist organization is a senseless loss of life.

11. The UN and hamas have admitted "quietly" to lying and exaggerating the civilan count

12. This war has the lowest civilian casualties of any war in modern history. Don't believe me, look it up. USvs. Afghanistan is DISGUSTING

13. Jihad soldiers attack in plain clothes, they are often counted as "inoccent civilians" when they just killed a bunch of innocent civilians

14. Hamas stated many times he will not stop until the Country of Israel is destroyed and every Jew is dead.

15. Antisemitism and antizionism its the same. I love how you won't listen to us but you can make up words and use it as a scapegoat for you to be as antisemitic as you want.

16. Hamas is starving his own people. He was given billions for infrastructure and did not build any bomb shelters? If Israel is killing so many people, why wouldn't you build power plants, food, water, and bomb shelters? Why does Israel provide you with your resources when you constantly attack them? Because they'd rather help the citizens more than hamas wants to.

Are you fucking blind, deaf, and dumb? THINK, GO READ SOME PEER REVIEWED INFO YOU SAD PEOPLE

Fuck you, eh. 🖐🎤

Now tell me you aren't filled with antisemitism and hate.

#antisemitism #jumblr #jewish #i am indigenous cree #being aboriginal #jewish aboriginal #throwing facts at you idiots #keep my name out of your mouth #eat shit assholes #i want peace #two state solution #i actually do care about innoncent civilians #proHAMASsholes #prohamassholes #fuck hamas #fuck your pro- palestine fake ass movement

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desultory-novice · 6 months

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"Apologies" AU - Masterpost

"Before Popstar, Adeleine lived on 'Shiver Star,' the embittered residents' nickname for the frozen husk of old Earth they were left on after the migration. But she isn't sad, for she has a best friend in her older brother. And he would give up anything to protect her...."

Characters: Adeleine, Noir (loosely based on unused Dark Matter design) / Dark Matter Swordsman, Gooey, King Dedede, others...

-

Note that this "comic" started as a well-received one shot that proceeded to grow into a series. As a result, it's very experimental. Expect random inconsistencies and continual artstyle shifts.

Bolded text are the newest posts

[Apologies AU] -Shiver Star- “Apologies” “One Sneeze” (illust) “Summer” “A Walk in the Snow” “The Swordsman” “Wonderful Gift” (illust) “Damnation” “Salvation” “Unstoppable” “Brightest Star”

-Dream Land 2- “Sibling Reunion” “Big Brother Instincts” “Unsung Hero” “The Perfect Vessel” “To Protect” “Matter Over Mind” "Darkened Skies" (illust) “Last Will” “Ego”

-Side Stories- "Freeze" "A Cold Hell" "No Friends"

"Honestly, it was all worth it"

"Never Never Land"

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[Noir Fontaine - Initial Ref Sheet] [Noir Fontaine - Kirby OC Tourney Profile]

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[White-Haired Noir] “Dark Matter Painter” (gift art - how this whole idea started...) "Have You Ever Killed Before?" (reblog sketch - W.Noir is born...) "Why Did You Stop Me...?" (reblog text + sketch - W.Noir in Kirby 64)

“You’re a good knight!” (illust - W.Noir and Ribbon) “The Body Remembers” (illust - W.Noir's scars) "Knight Costume" (sketch - W.Noir and Meta Knight) "My Trauma" (sketch - W.Noir and Meta Knight)

"Like Brother Like Sister" (comic, white-haired Noir origin) "Each From His or Her Own World" (comic, one of various endings)

"Three Challenges Noir Had to Face and One Meta Knight Did" (fanfic - W.Noir and Meta Knight in Planet Robobot) "Cold Air" (fanfic - W.Noir and Meta Knight's first meeting)

"The Little Prince" (illust - Adult W.Noir) "Brighter Skies" (Sketch - Adult W.Noir and Kirby)

[Snowflakes Timeline - cw: body horror + bad end] "I'll Never Leave You" - Script + Sketch "...Zero Three..." - Sketch + Script + Illust "Melted Snow" - Script + Fictional Boss Fight "Null v0.3" - Sketch + Silliness

[Extras - Art (canonincal)] “Ugly Scarf” (illust - our first look at Noir) "It'll All Make Sense Soon, Right?" (illust - Noir + Adeleine) "You Won't Win..." (illust - Noir's last moments) “Was I A Good Brother...?” (illust + text - storycrafting for Noir) “That’s…Funny…” (illust - Adeleine's notebook) "Blue Penguin Scarves" (illust - Dedede and Noir's Scarf)

"Happy Birthday!" (sketch - Adeleine and Noir)

[Extras - Art (non-canon)] “Full Regalia” (illust - Dark Matter Blade “Gijinka”) "No Hands Club" (sketch - incredibly short MariPav Crossover) "Looking Over You" (sketch - Angel Noir he's not dead yet!!) "Hell Branch x Apologies" / 2 / 3 (sketch - unexpected crossover!?!) "Games You Play When..." (sketch - the siblings + Steven meme) "Family Wedding?!" (sketch - the siblings + Raquelle/Rimura) "Adeleine meets Dark Matter Painter" (sketch comic) "Noir meets White-Haired Noir" (sketch comic) "Hell Branch x Apologies Returns!" (sketch comic) (Leads to same post as "...AGAIN" below)

"Ending D" (illust - Everyone dies...) "Sempai Noir" (illust - Adeleine draws Noir) "sEmPaI bLaDe" (illust - Gooey draws Noir)

[Extras - Scripts] “Vestige” (script - Susie + Adeleine) "Evil Science" (script - Meta Knight + Susie) "W.Noir and Taranza + Adeleine and Magolor" (scripts) "...AGAIN." (script - Noir in Dream Land 3) (Leads to same post as Hell Branch Returns" above) "Why Does Life Suck?" (more Hell Branch crossover)

"Re_Birthday" (script/sketch - Noir reflects as Adeleine mourns)

[Extras - Asks] "Warning Sign?" (text) "W.Noir and Meta Knight" (text) "What was Gooey...?" (text) "Adeleine, Noir, and 'bullies'" (text) "Noir as Dream Land 3's Dark Matter" (text) "Dark Matter Painter's Light" (reblog; White-Haired Noir lore) "Why hell though?" (text)

[Shiver Siblings Takeover] (For one weekend, I let Adeleine and Noir "answer" any asks about them. White-Haired Noir shows up too. Somewhat non-canon, but surprisingly connected?!?)

Please Send Positive Thoughts to... Which Kirby Adventure... [w/ Sketch] If You Had a Wish-Granting Clock... Food and Warm Clothes Arrive... [w/ Sketch] A Crystal Ball to See the Future - Noir... [Comic] A Crystal Ball to See the Future - W. Noir [Comic] Have You Been to the Forgotten Land... [Comic] (This ^ one is canon to W.Noir btw!) So Zan Roasted Your Sister Online... A Conversation (?) With Marx [Comic] Thanks for the Fun Weekend [w/ Sketch]

#Apologies AU #Adeleine #Dark Matter Swordsman #Noir (human-form DMS)#Gooey Kirby #Kirby #Hooray it finally has its own masterpost!#Now I can stop copy/pasting 100 links per post!!#I added in some missing asks and bonuses for one!#And better organized categories for another!

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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month

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My audhd brain won't stop telling me to do a full breakdown of the parallels between Percy and Hobie so i will.Alright,let's do this one last time!

Troubled but good kids

Afro-dominican New York/Jamaican-English(NY and England are where punk first started)

Anarchists,proffessional instigators,always helping out around communities(it's implied Percy participated in Rachel's protests and charities with her)and looking out for the little guy

So they're actual punks instead of just EdgyTM douchebags because they wanna do the right thing no matter what

No masking game autistics

Trans femmes who come across as masc only to normies

Chillaxed and super kind and love cute shit and people but also have major street credit,a huge edge and strong as fuck backbones and the reason they're so kind is that their childhood was beyond brutal so as they grew up they decided to be the positive older figure in younger people's lives they didn't take to have to the point they turned into Team Dad's

The EXACT same sense of humor

Blue-coded

Alt music lovers

Expressions are always either super intimidating or meme worthy goofy

Pet supernatural dog(Spidermutt and Mrs O'Leary)

Widely regarded as the coolest ever in-universe and correctly so but they're huge dorks when you get down to it but that only makes them even cooler-They were this cool the whole time

6'something with guitarist hands and described as so attractive it's shocking

Go by a nickname instead of their full name and have a common black surname

Oldest and most experienced heroes in their main casts

Hobie's dad is a deadbeat who left him as a baby to do supernatural shit

'I'm not a role model' 'I hate the a.m,i hate the p.m,i hate labels' 'I don't believe in consistency' / 'Was i a troubled kid?Yeah,you could say that' 'I AM impertenent' 'The sea does not like to be restrained'

'Calling yourself a hero makes you self-mythologizing'Hello???????????

Gwen is the Hazel to Hobie's Percy.She's a younger trans girl with a ghost motif who's a pastel ray of sunshine and runs her mouth as much as they do and has a dead mom,an abusive corrupted figure dad and their own impressive experiences in heroism before meeting them

Nico is another teen Ghostkid who Percy gifted a Ramones shirt and gave shelter to multiple times when he was homeless because Hades/Pluto is as much of a fucking cunt as George Stacy is.Nico is also a Miles kinnie because he's an optimistic softboy who's nerdy,a fast food lover and a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for and Percy is the big brother mentor to him the fandom thinks Hobie is to Miles(Nah fr Hobie and Miles are ambigious but Percy's canonically a grown ass man and Nico's Miles' age,P*rcicos pack it up and get over that your ship only works for transfem Percy proof)

Karl=Jason(the cooler St*ve R*gers,the actual voice of reason on the team but just as unhinged as the rest of them,very nice guy vibes and Hobie's righthand),Riri=Annabeth(Black girl genius who takes no shit but is still written as a person instead of a stereotype)and Mattea=Clarisse(red-coded,rowdy tomboy and war paint)

Mayday and Margo are basically just Estelle and Rachel,Jessica makes a pretty convincing Sally and Miguel reminds me of Poseidon but especially when he's interacting with Hobie

Sarcastic troublemaker smiles i've always found endearing(Rip to Annabeth but i'm different)(Also for Hobie i mean this platonically)

Immaculate rizz that's mostly unintentional but reaches critical levels when on purpose

Cocky asf and self-loathing at the same time

That one scene of Hobie leaving Gwen a Watch with the 'In case it don't work out' note with a lil doodle of him on it after getting her dad's ass/Percy sending the Olympians Medusa's head in a box after slaying her with a note saying 'Best wishes' to spite them

Goofy ahh who are nonetheless taken seriously cause Watch Out

They even both have terrible singing voices

And technically not the same thing but Hobie's also pink-coded so they're cotton candy colors and with Percy's white streak they can be the trans flag too!!

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jinxxedmisery · 3 months

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God... WHY!? (NSFW)

Headcanons plus a short fic.

Warnings: NSFW content.. this is literally a scenario about Gojo being a goofball during the deed...

Anywho... enjoy...Hope you like dead memes and cringe... (I hate myself for writing this... This should be a war crime)

Generally Gojo enjoys bringing humor into the bedroom, he really loves seeing you laugh.

But sometimes... He can get so fucking annoying.

As you lay on your back, hands pinned down to the bed, Gojo on top of you, thrusting into you in just the right way to make you scream...

A song you know all too well comes on... He's played it during sex so often. After that damned reddit r/AITA post he will not stop.

You've begged him to delete it from your Spotify playlist, but he never did.

Nasty little shit likes to see you go from whining about wanting him deeper to whining wanting him to stop acting like an idiot

Ofc.. He likes calling you really stupid pet names as well.. in and out of the bedroom..

And you better believe he thrusts with the rhythm of the song playing.. not the beat... Like a psychopath.

"Satoru....." you whine. A smirk appears on his lips as he continues the eratic thrust pattern.

"Hmmm? what is it munchkin?" He says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You roll your eyes

"Please... for fuck sake turn that shit off... and wait... 'Munchkin' did you just call me 'Munchkin'?" You resist the urge to push him off of you and onto the floor

"Aww does my little boo thang not like what I call them?" You narrow your eyes at him

"Do you want me to shrivel up and die down there?" He rests his head on your shoulder and you feel him grin against your skin, you gulp in response fearing what would come next.

"Oh pookiebear~ You'll be okay won't you? You still want my girthy meat stick right?" he whispers in your ear, you hate to admit it but it could almost be hot... If he weren't whispering the most deranged shit into your ears. "You love it when my hotdog is inside your moist cavern don't you?"He whispers making you cringe. "And when my hands move to touch your sensitive nubbins" He says, moving his hand over to your chest, teasing your nipples. "How about I purple your nurple, would you like that my candybear.. the jelly to my peanut butter~"

"Satoru.... I hate you so much right now" You complain, He evidently takes pleasure in your cringing as he chuckles leaning in to kiss you. His thrusts once again moving to a pleasurable rhythm. No matter how much you groan and act like you hated him for it, you still truly love him. And that included all of his bedroom antics. In fact, you appreciate it sometimes, he always knows how to make you laugh and well today was indeed one of those days.

Just as you were soaking in the serious affection he was finally giving you after his goofiness.

Two Trucks came on. And he began bobbing his head and syncing his thrusts to the music. You scream in exasperation. "SATORU GOJO I SWEAR TO SHIT I'M NEVER LETTING YOU TOUCH SPOTIFY EVER AGAIN!!!"

He slept on the couch that night.. As he should.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk crack #jjk x you #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo smut #humourous smut #gojo saturo #satoru gojo x reader #If Gojo did this with me I'd sob... and consider murder.. but also fall harder? am I broken?#gojo being a little shit #gojo making love to you but in an annoying way... I'm so sorry

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smolmakerel · 10 months

Text

I feel like Sam doesn't understand memes/vines due to her not being an internet nerd, and the rest of the Core 4 + Kirby tease her relentlessly for it.

---

Kirby, holding a large plastic cup: This bitch empty! YEET!

Kirby chucks the cup at the back of some random girl's head who decided to toss said contents of the cup at Sam.

Sam, shaking: What the fuck?

---

Tara, Chad, and Mindy surrounding Sam while T-posing: You are my dad. You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!

Sam, starting to cry: What??

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Tara, watching Sam and Danny be cute together: Is this allowed? Wtf, is that allowed?

Sam: Please stop...

---

Kirby: I saw you going after Ghostface yesterday!

Chad, wearing Tara's push-up bra: K-Kirby, it's not what you think!

Kirby, raising a bright orange water gun: I won't hesitate, bitch!

Sam watches with tired eyes.

---

Mindy, watching Ghostface die for the first time and happy to be included: Miss Keisha? Miss Keisha? Miss Keisha! Omfg, she fuckin dead.

Sam:

---

Sam: I don't understand what they're saying! You have to help me!

Gale, wearing sunglasses and sipping from her wine glass: Sounds like a skill issue, Sam.

Sam: Not you, too -

Danny: Just take the L, Sam.

Tara: F

Mindy: F

Kirby: F

Chad: F

Gale: F

Danny: F

#scream #scream 2022 #scream vi #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #chad meeks martin #mindy meeks martin #gale weathers #kirby reed #danny brackett #The chaos they put Sam through #I feel like they educated Gale and Danny on memes and vines to further mess with Sam #Sam is so done with them. She loves them.#That doesn't guarantee their safety when Sam decides to fuck with them back

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cheetahing · 1 month

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One sentence prompt but it's 2:

"A-Fei is an adult, educated, and he's not slow, so why do you explain everything to him so clearly, but you won't have the courtesy to do the same for anyone else? It's almost like you actually tell him the truth."

"what do you mean," li lianhua says mildly, "i always tell the truth."

"do not start with me," fang duobing says, pointing an imperious finger at li lianhua, "you liar!"

"how hurtful," li lianhua murmurs, taking a sip of tea.

"hurtful? you think that's— okay, no, i'm not falling for that, you sly old fox."

"again with the name calling," li lianhua says, in that infuriatingly calm tone.

"answer the question," fang duobing says, "no more prevaricating."

li lianhua is quiet, face unreadable. fang duobing hates when he does that.

"a'fei," he says finally, "is a man it's better not to have misunderstandings with, that's all."

fang duobing scoffs. "you always talk like you're so familiar, so why be afraid of that?"

"perhaps it's a matter of respect," li lianhua says, scratching his nose.

"are you saying you don't respect me?!" fang duobing squawks.

"hulijing," li lianhua says, standing up, "i think it's time to go home."

"hey," fang duobing says, trailing after him, "answer the question!"

a'fei detaches himself from the wall by the door, eyes glittering. he gives no indication of having heard the conversation but fang duobing gives him a suspicious look anyway. he points two fingers at his eyes, then at a'fei, then his eyes again. a'fei sneers.

"li lianhua," he says, falling in beside li lianhua, "i have a question."

fang duobing stops dead. "do not answer that!" he cries, running to catch up with both of them, hulijing trotting merrily at his side.

*

fic meme requests still open!

#mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #fang duobing #di feisheng #fic meme #kingsandbastardz #idk if i should put this in the dihua tags or not tbh lol #sorry it's mostly dialogue

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 4 days

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Hi, What do you think about the cheating rumors? I stopped watching royals 4 years ago, and I am shocked! What has happened? WTF is Rose back? Is Will stupid enough to get rid of her?

What happened recently? So much happened, anon. Let's see if I can give you the TL;DR.

January 16: Kensington Palace announced that Kate was having planned surgery on her abdomen and wouldn't be making any public appearances or sharing further details.

January 29: Kensington Palace announced that Kate had returned home from the hospital. People were upset there was no "proof of life" photo of Kate.

February 9: The Waleses go to Sandringham/Anmer Hall for the kids' half-term break. There are two sets of gossip from royal reporters. Gossip #1 - Kate is well and healthy and with the family. Gossip #2 - Kate's situation is worse than we're told and it's dire.

February 27, in the morning: William pulls out of attending King Constantine's memorial service of thanksgiving. KP says it has nothing to do with Kate but it's later confirmed that it wasn't true, that William pulled out because of Kate's diagnosis.

February 27, in the evening: Sussex Squad makes conspiracy theories about Kate go mainstream and viral on Twitter/social media. I won't rehash them all here but the rumors get dark and blame William and bring back the original Rose affair rumors.

March 4: Kate and Carole papped in a car around Windsor near the kids' school. Kate doesn't look like Kate, jumpstarting conspiracy theories again.

March 10: UK Mother's Day. The Waleses publish a photo of Kate and the kids taken by William. Sussex Squad goes after the photo for having been edited. Getty, and other agencies, kill the photo. It blows up into a huge thing. Celebrities pile on with their own jokes and memes about editing their photos, including Blake Lively and Kim Kardashian.

March 11: Kate issues a statement taking responsibility for editing the photo and apologizing for it. William and Kate are papped in a car leaving Windsor Castle.

March 12: Stephen Colbert jokes about the Rose affair rumor on his show.

March 16: Kate is papped with William at the grocery store. People claim it's her lookalike double because her hair is too hair and she's too skinny. (WTF, yes, I agree.)

March 22: Kensington Palace drops bombshell video statement by Kate that cancer had been found in whatever was removed during her operation in January and she was beginning a course of preventative chemotherapy. No further work or public engagements for Kate at this time. The celebrities that piled onto Kate during "March Madness" (the conspiracy theories and photo-editing weeks) get served humble pie and issue meek apologies that mean nothing.

April 23: Louis's birthday. As a consequence of the way the media flipped out over the Mother's Day photo, the Waleses publish the birthday photo (taken by Kate) exclusively to their social media and don't distribute it to media / photo agencies.

April 29: The Waleses publish an old new-to-us photo from their wedding for their anniversary on their social media.

May 2: Charlotte's birthday. Same deal with Louis - Kate takes the photo, they publish exclusively to their social media and don't distribute it in advance to the photo agencies / media.

May 12: Camilla is papped at the Badminton Horse Show talking to Rose Hanbury. No one cares.

May 14: Sussex Squad finds the photos of Camilla and Rose from the weekend and bring back the affair rumors. They claim that Kate is dead and the BRF is soft-launching William's mistress as his new girlfriend/future wife.

May 15: Charles and Camilla attend the OBE dedication at St. Paul's Cathedral. So do the Cholmondeleys but because they're not photographed with Charles or Camilla, no one notices they're there and no one cares they're there.

So that's what happened. That's where we are today.

How did the affair rumors start?

Discussion about whether the affair rumors are mainstream and how damaging they could be to William and Kate's reputation

Commentary about Rose

#waleses #cholomondeleys #rumors

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shygirl4991 · 4 months

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The break up

Summary: After so much failure SMG3 is done being in his boyfriends shadow and decides to find his own path.

Tag: Angst, establish relationship, takes place during smg4 trash friends, vent fic

SMG3 was stressed, his business was failing. No matter what he did, people just rolled their eyes at him and walked away from his cafe. Sure he was popular on twitch but that wasn't what he wanted, twitch was another reason to follow in his boyfriends footsteps to be famous like him.His cafe was his own dream something he wanted in life, yet again he chases something he wants only to end in the shadow of his partner. He sighs, putting his phone down as his boyfriend kicks the door down “Babe! You won't believe what just happened. I got a sponsor from Micheal Jordan. This will be such a boost for my channel!”

SMG4's voice faded to the background as he stared at the USB in the man's hand, suddenly the words his partner were saying changed “Now with this I can show how much better I am then you, it's okay nothing wrong with being a trophy boyfriend.” Three growled as he got up smacking the USB out of Fours hand, surprised he took a step back looking at his love “The hell was that Three?” Three was shaking as the voice in his head reminded him of their past. How SMG4 acted so smug in school with his high grades, how he ruined everything for him when he was close to reaching fame and love. He glares at the man wondering why he even thought dating was the smart idea, for all he knows this was another trick, some kind of secret plan that Four had to hurt him just like he has after all these years. “Im…done,” he whispers, confusing Four “What?” Three looks up with tears in his eyes “I'M DONE WITH YOU! LEAVE MY LIFE AND NEVER RETURN! I DON'T LOVE YOU I NEVER DID!” SMG4 stared at Three in shock, his own eyes watering “Wha…why are you saying this…after everything we have been through?” Three lets out a bitter chuckle “You mean how you always been better at things then me…leaving me in your dust as the world forgets me heh..why would i want to date someone like that.” Four shakes his head as he reaches for Three. He brushes Four away, staring at his phone that showed a picture of them kissing, crying, he turns away from SMG4. He won't let himself be tricked and hurt again. He snaps his fingers then grabs Eggdog leaving for the internet graveyard, a place where forgotten dead memes go to live and funny enough his home. Maybe he was always destined to be forgotten and abandoned. Weeks passed since the break up, no one has seen or heard from SMG3 leaving Four alone to protect his home from gods and other creatures trying to kill them all. SMG1 and two attempted to bring the other guardian back only to learn the internet graveyard woods was protecting the man, changing the path to make it impossible to find him. Over time they gave up and everyone just accepted they would never see the man again, Four kept busy never stopping his work so he can never think about the cold he felt in his heart the day SMG3 disappeared.

#smg4 #smg3 #smg34 #shygirl4991 #vent fic #angst #break up

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elysiumarchieve · 2 years

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What would fluster Scaramouche to the point of blushing? Like what would make him blush just a little bit where you can barely see it compared to being red like a tomato and hiding under his hat. (Imagine the blush meter meme for artists)

FINALLY GETTING TO THIS i actually thought about this for some time already oml

blush meter for scaramouche

warnings: mentions of his past, it's fluffy, scaramouche is a warning for himself, slightly suggestive?? you touch his skin idk, no proofread we go down like katsuragi

✧ so first off, i believe scaramouche doesn't get bashful nor flustered at all - my guy abandoned any sort of emotions a really long time ago and for him to even get a speck of color onto his face you must either be absolutely bold or downright embarrass him

✧ back when he had just woken in shakkei pavilion, it was enough to take his hand to cause his face to become bright red and reduce him into a stuttering mess, that's how cute he used to be

✧ in a way, back in his time where he used to live with katsuragi and the other blacksmiths, anything could cause him to get flustered - he was like a child at that point, his mind taking in all the new experiences and feelings and reacting to it with innocent and childlike glee

✧ gathering lavender melons with him and praising him for helping you so diligently would cause him to smile to himself and make his cheeks flush (he was so glad he could help you)

✧ but with his fate taking a tragic turn and his life slowly spiralling out of control, that childlike glee became lost the same day that he decided to burn his past in karmic flames, abandoning everything he once felt and leaving behind his kind smile

✧ nowadays, getting him to blush or embarrassed is hard. genuinely hard

✧ if you're his s/o you already managed to do one thing - break down the foundation of a giant wall he build around his 'heart' that keep him away from those 'disgusting human emotions'

✧ in fact, instead of getting flustered over compliments he receives, it's rather boasting his ego or he simply dismissed it (what do you mean, good job? wasn't it clear from the beginning that he'd do a good job? idiot)

✧ the only way to get him to blush at your compliments would be if you really, really exaggerated your compliments, but in a way he could still tell you were genuine (you think he's comparable to an actual archon? sure, if you say so he won't stop you)

✧ however, you'd never see him flush over this, but rather he'd just turn around and cross his arms with a shrug. he's always trying to play off how much the things you say actually affect him

✧ taking his hand in public only causes him to flinch and glare daggers into you - absolutely do not touch him in public, he hates it

✧ however, in private, although he still claims to hate any sort of affection, you can still feel the way he relaxes under your touch and how much he enjoys having his hair played with and it actually gets him flustered a lot when you whisper sweet nothings to him in the dead of the night, though he's happy that it's too dark for you to see his face heat up jist a little

✧ what i'm telling you might sound a little crazy, but hear me out on this one

✧ fix his clothing (you heard me)

✧ although scaramouche can't tell why exactly it gets him all flustered and why his stomach churns, but there is something about you suddenly telling him to keep still and gently fix the golden emblem on his chest or readjusting the bag on his back as gently as possible, with all your attention directed at him in that moment

✧ his finishing blow might as well just be the way you smile up at him afterwards and tell him that he's ready to go (as if he needed your permission) - it usually ends up with him thanking you in a curt reply before he turns on his heels and pulls his hat slightly into his face

✧ if anyone caught the slight red hue on hie cheeks and had the audacity to ask him about it (i'm looking at you childe), he'd simply lie and say it's cold. usually people buy that excuse since nobody knows that the cold doesn't even bother him

✧ now, for the worst (possible best way) to get him to actually blush in your presence is to touch him. anywhere. it doesn't matter what you do, but the more intimate and closer you are the more embarrassed he might become

✧ the look of shock in his eyes and his face just getting a red hue is almost too adorable to miss and you almost tell him that he looks 'super cute' (but you decide for your own well-being to not do it)

✧ scaramouche usually doesn't fuss over empty compliments and since he hates any sort of pda in public, you'd never get him to blush outside your 4 walls. the only things that actually get him flustered is when you focus your attention on him, when you remain genuine with him or when you touch him at the most unexpected situation (though it's somewhat embarrassing him more the way you look at him afterwards)

✧ he denies it but he likes it when you focus yourself on him. being betrayed and cast aside for being 'worthless', once he knows that someone appreciates his value does cause his stomach to flutter in a way he wants to hate but simply can't

✧ and although he hates that he reacts like this, he doesn't stop you

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin #kunikuzushi #headcanons #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #look at that #she's posting

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kerubimcrepin · 3 months

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Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 3]

+ Joris analysis

Since Simone left, it seems that Kerubim has gotten back into his habit of having weird, sloped bookshelves that look like they are going to kill someone someday.

Also, there are more deadly possessed demon swords everywhere.

VAX

So real.

I think a lot about how aggressively chill Kerubim is about Joris constantly going on and on about his birth parents.

You just know that on the inside he was seething. Just a constant mantra of "it's natural at this age, it's natural at this age," inside his head as he tried to be supportive. While Joris was trying to guess who his dad was, Kerubim was going through an IRL psychological horror game where he would die if he stopped thinking good thoughts.

While I am putting this in my usual funny meme terms, I am enamoured by the messy and uneven nature of Kerubim and Joris's father-son relationship. There's nothing particularly special or unique about the way it hurts them, — but the immortality and fantasy elements really let the usual hurting of a parent-child bond shine. It's all about romanticising the mundane to me.

I think it shows an interesting disconnect that Lilotte won't call Kerubim "papycha" (and the way, later on in the movie, she does). She doesn't entirely feel like she fits in between Joris and Kerubim, and the dynamic the two have, — which is understandable, because she really doesn't, in my opinion. It's not a bad thing. She and Joris aren't exactly siblings, and Kerubim isn't her dad, — he's a caring adult. It doesn't mean they aren't a family to her, but it does mean she feels awkward. Her dead family, and fear of losing people, aren't exactly helping.

Here's my analysis of the situation:

From Lilotte's POV, as I've already said it, there is a disconnect from the bond she feels with Kerubim and Joris, and the bond those two have, — as well as how untraumatized Joris is about the whole orphan thing. She doesn't want to get too used to this because this can always end, — and likely, she doesn't want to be forced into a fully familial role, because she doesn't feel that way about Kerubim and Joris.

From Kerubim's POV, she is an orphan, just like himself and Joris, and he needs to help her any way he can. He'd like it if she lived with them, — instead of living out in the streets, without the safety of the roof over her head. He wants her to feel at home, and become a part of the family, but doesn't have any delusions about "adopting" her as if she were his daughter (his definition of family includes a maid he met 20 minutes prior, a mortal enemy, and a brother who wants him dead, mind you). She's far too old, and she does have a family, even if it is a dead one, while he is perfectly happy with just Joris as his son. Basically, he just wants her to be happy, warm, and fed, but understands that she has her reasons to be wary, and will not overstep her boundaries.

This all is easy enough to imagine or deduce through what we know about their characters. But Joris is a bit more complex, because even as a child, he is kinda emotionally closed-off. So, this following thing is mostly delusion, throwing darts at the wall while blindfolded, and me just straight up hallucinating:

In my opinion, Joris is not happy about anything that is happening. He needs consistency and stability, and, as a single child of a single parent, he probably feels a certain degree of ownership towards Kerubim. It's likely that he feels jealous, like Lilotte's presence is threatening.

He isn't feeling these things consciously. He doesn't know he is jealous, or that he feels threatened by her presence. A childhood of unknowingly putting Kerubim's emotional needs before his own for the sake of their survival had divorced him completely from his own feelings.

But it does show in the little, subconscious gestures, like fighting with her, or making fun of her, — especially his complete silence on the issue of wanting or not wanting her to move in with them, and the happy reaction he has to her confirming, once again, that she will not live with them. (As well as the way he switches the topic immediately to himself, before Kerubim can attempt to console her about the dead family issue).

Joris tries really hard not to have opinions on things he doesn't like, especially about himself and his feelings.

It's interesting that Joris needs reassurance here. What we just saw is Kerubim making a grand gesture (a huge, elaborate breakfast) and a plea towards Lilotte, out of his care for her, and immediately, Joris is trying to usurp his attention with a question of whether Kerubim is going to give him a grand gesture too.

And it's not the first time he's asking! (Also yes, I noticed Lou. I was just too busy typing analysis to point her out)

For a huge part of his childhood, Kerubim neglected him badly (and himself too, the man had clinical depression), so Joris's anxiety and subconscious jealousy is pretty logical.

Suddenly, despite being his literal father, Kerubim is putting in more effort in caring for Joris's friend than he ever did with Joris himself, y'know?

AND not to mention, how Kerubim usually keeps his promises (he doesn't, but Joris is used to it.)

Anyway, the cover says "Brocante". Other text, I am not sure.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dofusmovie #joris jurgen #kerubim crepin

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gamequoteshowdown · 4 months

Text

Quote 1: "We do not have much connection, you and I. Still, this encounter feels special. I hope you won't mind if i think of you as a friend" - Solanum, Outer Wilds

Quote 2: "Why are we still here, just to suffer? Every night I can feel my leg and my arm, even my fingers. The body I've lost, the comrades I've lost, it won't stop hurting. It's like they're all still there, you feel it too, don't you?" - Kazuhira Miller, Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain

Propaganda

Quote 1:

The whole game centers around the Nomai and their sudden deaths. A whole species wiped out in an instant without rhyme or reason to reach Sol you have to go through the same tests and trials a Nomai would've taken to reach adulthood. All the while you're learning about these long dead people and how much they loved and lost. The echo they leave on the story is massive and is entirely through the writing on walls or logs they left behind. You hear about the couple separated by miles of space not knowing if the other survived. But they're dead. You follow the path the young of the dead once walked. There is a quantum moon that appears and disappears randomly landing on which is the goal of the trials. You learn what the dead once learned and are able to get onto the shifting moon and head to the place these people once worshipped. You've spent hours learning about them. You've spent hours reading the words of ghosts. Against all odds as you approach the place of worship. someone is THERE. A single Nomai who had traveled to the quantum moon to complete her trials just as the entire Nomai population was wiped. The quantum moon exists in several different states- Sol's corpse can be found on every single one but the final one where she lives. She is Schrodinger's Nomai and the only one left. You can speak to her by combining images together. The language gap is too big for proper communication. You combine the images of her and yourself. She has never met you. You have met her ghost hundreds of times. She is stained on the ruins of her people. She is their last whisper of their existence.Your people walk in the massive footprints they left behind and here you are finally meeting them. What is this meeting but special?I have 60 hours in this game. 60 hours of reaching out to the stars and learning of the pain and happiness and grief of the Nomai. What else could describe that relationship; if not 'Friend'? Anyways all this to say i let out the WILDEST sound when i saw Sol. Its dozens of hours thinking youll never meet them than BAM Sol comes into view. I cried when she called me friend. It rlly is a culmination of the whole game and the story of the Nomai - @the-silver-vessel, written in tags of first round

Quote 2: Iconic and memed to death but most people haven't actually played the game its from. Good delivery and pretty touching if you've played the game/series and know the context - Submitter

#polls #tumblr polls #tournament poll #tournament polls #game quote showdown #solanum outer wilds #outer wilds #mgs #mgs 5

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