#it’s. I’ve not fully processed this myself. fuck man
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hey, to everyone who may be seeing this, I want you to know that it’s okay to grieve. that you’re not alone. and to cherish those who are around you, all those who you love and love you in return.
posting might slow down or stop completely for a while on my end, just so y’all know and aren’t worried. keep your heads up, and take it easy on yourselves. let yourselves grieve and process.
to anyone who may need or want a place to vent or talk, my DMs are open to you. I cannot promise good responses, but it’s a space to at least spew your thoughts to someone - and I know that can be helpful, just to send a text box of it all to somewhere
<3
#check technos latest update or my prev reblog if you’re confused. it is very heavy news#i just want y’all to know you’re not alone. and that it’s okay. okay?#keep your heads up maybe donate if you have the funds there’s plenty of links around#his merch for example as well#it’s. I’ve not fully processed this myself. fuck man#tell someone you love them today okay? keep on keepin on#will babbles
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Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.
Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.
#dysphoria#gender dysphoria#sensory processing disorder#tw emetophobia#for the nausea mention#idk if that’s needed or not#but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind#it’s so over#lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit#and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role#even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now#and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well#so that’s not helping#and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman#and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses#(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient)#and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine”#like fucking hell#shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once#man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit#and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks#and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the#stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit#I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about#it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed#to bring myself to start working on it#and things are just gonna get more and more difficult#so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys#did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress#tw suicidal thoughts
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𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞.ᐟ
ᝰ Blitzø x Fem!reader
ᝰ NSFW, oral (fem receiving), fingering, degrading names (slut), tail play??
wc - 1.4k
˗ˏˋ Blitzø does return the favor in the bedroom, and he’s going to prove it ˎˊ˗
Your lazy night in was interrupted by a loud banging on your door, making you jump and pause your TV. Checking your phone, you see that it's just after midnight, and you frown; who the fuck would be knocking on your door this late?
Whoever it was loudly knocked again before yelling through the door, “It’s Blitz open up!”
You sigh in frustration at the familiar name and voice of your frequent booty call. Of course, it was Blitzø. The man would never call or text; instead, he would just show up at random and expect you to rework your plans for him. You get up and drag yourself to the door, opening it and fully prepared to cuss him out, “Blitz, what-”
You barely got the door open before the imp was storming inside your apartment and slamming it shut behind him, “Listen, I’ve had a long and shitty night, and now I need to prove something to myself, so if you could get naked and in bed that would be fan-fucking-tastic.”
Blitzø walked around you and made his way to your bedroom, taking his leather jacket off and tossing it on the couch in the process. You stood there dumbfounded for a moment before taking off after him, “What?”
“Oh my fucking Satan, can you just take your fucking pants off.” Blitzø snapped, standing at the foot of your bed with his arms crossed. You could tell something was wrong, even if he hadn’t told you he had a shitty night; it was obvious from his expression alone.
The two of you weren’t exactly the ‘talk about your feelings’ type, but you’ve never seen Blitzo this bothered before. Something really fucked up must’ve happened for him to be this visibly upset, “What happened?”
“Maybe I’ll tell you after I’m done with you.” Blitzø tried to flirt, and you only glared at him in response. He huffed in annoyance, “A lot of shit that I don’t want to talk about happened, okay? But one thing that did happen is that my ex said I don’t reciprocate in bed, and I know that shit is a lie.”
“So that’s what you need to prove to yourself? That you can please your bedmate?” you asked, rolling your eyes and leaning on the doorframe.
“Not just any bedmate!” Blitzø yelled, obviously getting worked up at the memory of whatever happened, “I need to prove that I can pleasure a pussy haver! That bitch made it seem like I don’t know where the clit is, and I cannot have that!”
Your eye twitched at the term ‘pussy haver,’ but still, you sighed and walked over towards the bed, “Yaknow, I don’t think you’ve ever eaten me out before.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve never sucked me off either. We’re more of the quick fuck type of booty call.” Blitzø rolled his eyes, “Now, am I gonna have to cut your stupid sleep shorts off or what?”
You stood silently in front of him for a moment, looking him up and down, trying to decide if you were really going to do this. The assassin seemed almost desperate for you to agree, and honestly, you did kind of want to see if he actually was good at eating pussy or not.
With a tired sigh, you slip out of your shorts and panties before climbing up onto your bed. Blitzø smirks at you before clapping his hands together and rubbing them, “You should also take your top off; I’m about to give you some real underboob sweat.”
“Literally, what the fuck?” You snap, glaring at him as he pushes your legs apart. The feeling of the cool air on your exposed core makes you shiver, and you quickly pull off your t-shirt.
Blitzø pulls your folds apart with his thumbs, exposing you even more, and spits on your pussy. You jump at the suddenness of his action and open your mouth to yell at him before he moves one of his thumbs, sliding it between your folds to spread his spit. You moan softly when he just barely brushes your clit, and you hear him mumble, “See, you fucking skank, I know exactly where the clit is.”
“Yep, you sure showed her. Now, why don’t you rub it or something.” You whined when his thumb only grazed the sensitive nub again.
“Oh no, I’m gonna do this right,” Blitzø said and began circling your entrance with his middle finger. “Which means I’m gonna draw it out as long as possible.”
You moan loudly when he slides his finger inside of you; your legs fall open impossibly wider as you glare down at him, “You’re an ass.”
“It’s your fault for thinking otherwise, sweetheart.” Blitzø meets your glare with a smirk before leaning down and flicking his forked tongue against your clit. Your hips buck up at the small bit of friction, pushing his finger deeper inside of you and making you grip the sheets tightly.
Using his free hand to hold your hips down against the bed, Blitzø started to pump his finger in and out of you slowly as he dragged his tongue between your folds. Every time the forked tip of his tongue cradled your clit, your hips jerked, and you moaned, no doubt alerting your neighbors to what you were up to.
After a few minutes of this slow torture, Blitzø finally pushed a second finger inside of you, making your back arch, “Oh fuck, Blitz.”
“Yeah, that's right,” Blitzø grunted against your mound, his fingers moving faster inside of you, “You better remember who’s making you feel this good.”
“Blitz your tongue-” You whine, missing the feeling of his mouth on you.
“What about it, sugar?” Blitzø asked, bringing this thumb up to rub agonizingly slow circles against your clit as his fingers continued to fuck into you, curling up just right and hitting your sweet spot. “Awe, does the dumb slut want my tongue on her clit? Are you gonna beg for it?”
You let out a frustrated groan, not wanting to give in to this stupid game but also needing his stupidly long tongue to cum, “Please, Blitz, fuck! Please use your tongue!”
“Well, when you ask so nicely.” You didn’t have to look at the imp to know he was smirking as he said that before he sucked your clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the small nub and making you all but scream.
You couldn’t help yourself anymore and reached down, grabbing Blitzø’s horns and pulling his face closer. You felt more than heard his muffled grunt of surprise, the noise vibrating against your sensitive skin and making your legs shake. That all-too-familiar heat began coiling in your abdomen, and you started rocking your hips against him as you moaned, “I’m so close!”
Something suddenly brushing against your left breast, pushing against your neglected nipple, and sending a shiver up your spine caught your attention. You pried your eyes open to see Blitzø had snaked his tail up your body, the flat end of it pressing against your tit until it lifted and came back down with a hard smack.
“Blitz fuck!” You cried out as you came, body overwhelmed with the amount of stimulation.
Blitzø continued his brutal pace as you soaked his face. His fingers still fucked against your g-spot, his tongue still circled your swollen clit, and his tail still smacked against your nipple until you were begging him to stop. He finally pulled away from you with a wet pop and leaned over you with a smirk while he licked his lips.
“So?” He asked, sounding out of breath but looking way more smug than when he showed up, “How was that?”
You panted, completely slumped against your bed, and getting pissed off at the sweaty feeling under your boobs, “That was-”
The sound of a high-pitched barking started blaring from Blitzø’s pocket, and you tilted your head to watch as he quickly pulled his phone out. You knew that was his daughter Loona’s ringtone, so when the imp’s eyes widened impossibly large before he scurried off the bed, you became nervous. “Blitz? Everything okay?”
“Yeah- shit!” Blitzø cursed as he fell off your bed, and you just rolled your eyes, “Yeah, Looney just needs me to pick her up!”
You just sat on your bed and listened as Blitzo ran out of your room and grabbed his jacket, “Okay, well-”
The sound of your front door opening and slamming shut cut you off, leaving you alone again. Looking at the clock on your nightstand, you saw time as a little past one in the morning and sighed. If it weren’t for the wet feeling between your legs and the satisfied ach in your body, it would almost feel like he’d never been at all.
You flopped back down on your bed with a huff, “Asshole.”
I did it guys I finished the fic high me decided I was gonna write😌
#helluva boss#helluva boss x reader#helluva blitzo#blitzo x reader#blitzo#blitzø x reader#blitz x reader#blitzø#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss oneshot#helluva boss fanfiction#blitzø smut#blitzo smut#blitz smut#helluva boss smut
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I want to love you.
Tate Frost x AFAB reader!
Hi babies I’m back with another banger or wtv those YouTube mfs be saying but yeah hii I’m taking another break from Tiktok (Princessofmagix) Lol you should follow I’m pretty and kinda funny! But yeah I recently got back into otome and visual novels and guys when I found Tate Frost..? I went bonkers so I wrote a lil something but guys, hear me when I say:
PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS I’M NOT PLAYING WITH Y’ALL!
Warnings: Noncon, manipulation, Kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, triggering sexual themes, mentions of past trauma!
But yeah enjoy!
•
“You’re fucking crazy.” I spit. His eyes traveled like an elevator down my body, eye-fucking me in the process. You know I have to hand it to them, the people who warn others about manipulative men.
They weren’t kidding, this guy’s seriously an actor, even worse an artist. A con one at that but I couldn’t help but commend his artistry, even as I found myself bound to his bed by ropes and held down for him, like the perfect prey. He eyed me like it too.
The talent was crazy but I think part of me was more mad at myself than him, maybe because I took pride in the fact that I wasn’t naive, well, not as much as expected from a traumatized person.
Not to get too much into detail but I’ve been deceived, later healed enough to start giving out the benefit of the doubt but I wasn’t stupid, not enough to fall for obvious love bombing but THIS was anything but obvious…and yet again I’d been deceived.
Fooled to believe I’d been loved.
Usually, at this point, I would fear that I’d never love again, never trust again, but live? This situation goes beyond my wildest nightmares.
“Can you blame me Sha? You look divine like this…”
My eyes narrowed but his words made me dizzy. He always did, but that’s what love was; a disease. One I’d tolerate though couldn’t stomach but finally for the first time it made me sick, this man was a monster. I understand that perfectly well, yet my body still hasn’t gotten the memo.
He had access to every part of me now but he sat across the room and continued to taunt me.
“I hate you,” I say staring away at a wall
“Well, that’s a shame sweetness, 'cause I adore you~”, He smiled ever so sweetly.
“Shut up.” I glare but he shoots up and grabs my ankles pulling me towards him. I struggle and start to scream but he immediately grips my throat, my eyes widen, not from his harsh grip but from the cold metal I feel against my thigh.
Almost instantly my eyes began to water and I trembled beneath him. He stared down at me, his dominance utterly petrifying, but he wanted to make sure I understood my position, fully grasped the situation I was in.
He then softened his hand. I cautioned my breathing, too afraid that I might accidentally set him off enough to rid me of existence, but he leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine and simultaneously my tears fell.
“I thought you loved me…” I struggled
He pulls back and tilts his head.
“I do love you?” But I scoff
“You’re delusional. This isn’t love.”
“Oh and that’s where you’re wrong sweetness,” He keeps the blade steady but focuses on my eyes.
“Believe it or not I’m honored you decided to trust me enough to be that vulnerable with me. To let me into your past. I’ve listened to you, comforted you…and it’s all been out of love.”
I clenched my teeth and he slowly sunk the blade deeper, enough to scare me.
“And what kind of love equates to threatening to kill me?” I challenge, he smirks.
“Our kind.” He says before pulling the blade and his hand away, but his hand didn’t stray too far as he gently traced the curves of my hip. My breath hitched as I looked up at him.
“You see Sha, the difference between me and all your other relationships is that they didn’t really love you.” My face went cold as ice.
What is he-..?
“MY love for you is overbearing…so much that you can’t even take it. So much that it overwhelms you but,” He sets the knife aside. Leaning down he kisses up my thighs, stalking around my arousal, and I whimpered in anticipation.
“Even if you can’t understand, your body knows that I love you… and it knows I would never lie about that.” He says soothingly, his thick accent laced with allure.
My mind began to shift into fight or flight as his kisses grew closer to my core.
“Tate no please stop..!” And before he could touch me there, he pulled away and let out a sigh before leaving the room.
As I found myself in the room alone my heart began to race, bro this man was out of his damn mind. I took time to breathe but my eyes quickly got to work scanning around his room.
Prior, I never took the time to take in my surroundings the other times I was here.
I was too busy being blinded by his “act”, and my alibi had to be the fact that we never had sex before, he always respected my boundaries and I cherished that about him, knowing I’d never seen that gentleness in anybody else.
But it wasn’t even him actually, and I was currently in the room of a stranger, but if there was one thing I knew for sure, I couldn’t stay here!
Suddenly the door swung open. And there he was…with a deck of playing cards?
“You know I’m quite worried about you Sha, don’t trust me, don’t trust your own body, ” He locked the door before walking over to me
“But I don’t blame you, you’ve been through enough.” He pulled up a chair and sat next to me, reaching over I flinched as he gently wiped my stained cheek, though his touch only made me want to cry again.
“No matter, I thought we’d settle this with a game. Wanna see what your subconscious thinks?” I yanked away from his touch and turned away to the other side of the room, once again making friends with the wall.
“You’re disgusting, I don’t want to play shit with you.” I spat
He chuckled, “I’m afraid it’s the only way sweetheart, besides I think you’ll enjoy what I have in store if you win~”
My brows furrowed as I looked back at him.
Unless it was my freedom he had to be out of his mind entirely if he thought I’d enjoy anything else and right I was.
“I can see you're on edge but I’m being completely honest, I care about you. And because I’m not a total monster I’ll take how you feel into consideration.”
My brows furrowed even more as I stared into his eyes.
Gee, thanks.
“I trust your body so the rules are simple Sha,” He coos moving to sit beside me on the bed.
“I’ll hold up three cards, and if you can pick my favorite, you win.” He began to trail off
If I win…I’ll set you free.” My eyes widened.
Wait what- he can’t be serious… but the way he looked off into the distance, he meant what he said…he was serious, and I let out a shaky breath
“But if you win, I finally get to fuck you, and you’re mine.” My body lost all warmth, dread took hold of my body as I started to hyperventilate. I shook my head and pulled against the ropes.
“Tate n-no don’t do this p-please don’t-!“ He shuffled the deck, eyeing me as I struggled, begging him to have mercy. But it just made him smile.
“I’m serious, are you listening-?!” I screamed out. He put a finger up to his lips effectively hushing me, I knew well then to upset him.
“Tate I-“
“Pick one Y/N.” He immediately cuts me off.
As he held the cards in front of me I quickly broke into a cold sweat.
He could take everything from me… and I wouldn't be able to stop him.
I looked at the cards. I just had to get it wrong and the odds are in my favor but, I’m use to being so unlucky.
“The middle one…” I spoke meekly.
He immediately looked down at the cards, staying quiet. The suspense was killing me and I’d rather it did, anything to take me away from this man. Before I know it he looks up at me and smirks.
“I love you too Sweetness”,
Before I can think he throws the cards aside and crawls on the bed, dragging my hips up to his. I had no time to react as my throat tightened and tears dripped down my cheeks.
Just my luck.
He swiftly pulled down his boxers making my eyes widen, as he ran his tip along my lips.
“S’been a long time comin'” He chuckled aligning with my entrance.
I try once again to pull away, no longer caring about upsetting him.
“No p-please I can’t- you’re too big I won’t be able to take it-!” But it was too late and the pressure quickly entered my body. I winced as he slid in every inch, tears nonstop falling to the sheets as he kept a harsh grip on my hips.
“Fuck!” He hissed
I panted heavily trying to cope with the pain of feeling him so deep against me. I whimpered as he pulled my hips closer, raising one of my legs up to kiss along, as if he was trying to soothe me.
Keeping my leg up he thursted in me once more allowing his dick to reach a newer depth.
“You’re so fucking tight” He groaned lifting my hips to pick up the pace.
He was relentless and rough but I still couldn't adjust to his size as he forced my body to take him repeatedly. My body tensed as surges of pleasure felt like an electric current in my body every time our hips met.
“a-ah~ Tate please-!“
“What’s that baby, such a pretty little thing, do you feel good?“ He teased
I hated him. I swore I did but the way he towered over me, he was so much bigger, stronger than me and it showed in the way he manhandled my body, as if he truly owned me and I was his doll.
He slowed down and buried his face in my neck, focusing on precision rather than speed. He whispered sweet words in my ear, telling me he loved me and I was made for him...and that I was perfect.
I clung to him and held on as he kissed and sucked along my jaw even biting me, but everything felt so gentle, his ease caused my body to relax against him and I whimpered as I allowed myself to fully submit to him.
I would never make it out alive if I didn’t and part of me wanted to accept him. Maybe he did love me and I just didn’t understand. Or maybe being forced away from the rest of society was finally catching up to me? Either way, this was my life now.
As I came to the realization he gently pulled away slightly and wrapped a hand around my throat squeezing lightly, my body tensed pleasurably once again as I closed my eyes taking everything he gave me.
But when I felt him pull back to me I flinch and cry out suddenly as I felt consistent harsh vibrations against my clit. My mouth stayed open as I tried to take in the mass amount of sensation. My breath left me quickly as I arched my back into his growing fast pace.
“Do me a favor and hold this for me baby.”
The tears never faltered, though now they were a symbol of how good I felt, and my eyes fluttered as I looked up to him and the wand he rested above my clit.
“Tate...I’m so close I can’t-“ I cried but he pressed the wand down harder and stared down at me sternly.
“Hold it.“ He repeated.
I couldn’t tell in what way he meant but to play it safe I did both. Taking a hold of the wand I listened to him when he demanded I keep it in place. My body started to shake violently and I felt the overstimulation building up in my body. As I held it in place he let go of my neck and used both hands to hold my hips before thrusting harder.
My head instinctively falls back.
“May l cum please?“ I ask, tears still falling down my face.
“You plan on leavin’ me?” He asks
I started to pant heavily, desperately needing to let go.
“No, no I’m yours I promise I won’t leave, I’ll never leave-!” I struggle, beginning to find myself in a state of hysteria.
“I love you! I promise to stay,” I cry
He immediately takes hold of the wand allowing me to convulse, letting out a loud guttural moan as I came, gripping the sheets.
As I tried to come down from the high, he pulled the wand away and embraces me, thrusting harder to chase his release. I reach up and kiss along his neck trying to return the same feeling he previously gave me but, he quickly bit down hard on my neck trying to quiet himself as he came, pouring every last drop inside me.
He slowed down his thrusts before maneuvering me to lay on top of him and he stayed deep inside.
We soon caught our breath as I laid my head against his chest.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you…” I whispered, the weariness finally weighing down on me as I closed my eyes. He gently stroked my back pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.
“I forgive you baby” Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.
•
Guys c’mon now I can’t believe y’all let him scam y’all like that, what happened to the original plot of the movie?? But seriously if you guys ever find yourself in a situation like this it’s absolutely not healthy please don’t be afraid to seek help! This is purely fantasy! Lol but yeah thank you for reading I love y’allz <3
Likes, comments and reblogs are so appreciated!
#tate frost x reader#tate frost#tate frost smut#frostbite#tate frost x reader fanfic#tate frost x reader smut#frostbite scopophobia studios#scopophobia studios#otome#visual novel#tate frost fanfic#it’s cuffing szn#or wtv sza said
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[“Later in the day, while Heather and I were making the bed and talking about the chores we needed to get through the next morning, she used a male pronoun in regard to me. “Well that’s gonna be weird, huh?” I said. “Not saying ‘he’ for me anymore.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “I mean I want to transition. I want to become a woman… fully.” She paused and fell silent. I think the revelation that I was a transsexual truly hit her in this moment. She slowly started to comprehend that this didn’t mean I’d simply be cross-dressing around the house. It started to hit me, too. I wanted to transition genders, and there was a lot more to that than just hormones and surgery. Neither of us fully understood what it meant yet, or where to start.
The next day Andrew and James met me at the studio to talk about plans around the album and the future of the band. Jordan came, too, as he was again filling in as our manager. Until then, I’d been telling them that I was writing a concept album about a transsexual prostitute—the metaphor behind the feeling of having whored myself out to a record label was thinly transparent since James, Andrew, and I were all processing our own post-traumatic stress disorder from the past couple years of music industry hell. Previously, I’d been able to sneak a few subtle metaphors about my dysphoria in here and there. But an album focused entirely on it? I didn’t know how to explain that, and the new songs were not sticking with the guys.
James could make out a few lyrics to the title track through his in-ear monitors: “You want them to see you like they see every other girl / But they just see a faggot.” “Hey, man,” he said between takes. “Are you saying ‘faggot’ on this song? It sounds like you’re saying it a lot. Are people gonna be cool with that?”
I realized that the reason the words weren’t connecting with them was that they didn’t have the context. So I came out with it. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted them to understand. I couldn’t hold back the momentum of the day before. Once the truth was spoken, it could be contained no longer.
“It’s about me, and how I’m a transsexual. This is something I’ve been dealing with for a long time,” I told them. Once I started explaining it, I couldn’t stop. It was like an out-of-body experience where I saw myself, but was powerless to hold back the flood of words. “I want to start living as a woman, and to be referred to as Laura. This is something I’ve thought about a lot and isn’t going away, so I might as well embrace it.”
No one knew what to say once I finally stopped rambling. The three of them just sat there in the studio control room, looking down at their feet or at whatever lit-up piece of audio equipment their eyes could find, focusing anywhere but on me. We’d had some heavy conversations over the years—emotional moments where we’d told each other off or outright quit the band—but nothing compared to this. Andrew’s usually warm smile was locked in since I started talking, and it looked like it was going to melt off his face. His skin flushed red, trying not to flinch. There was nothing any of them could say. I broke the silence by asking them to come smoke a joint with me. We got high standing in a circle in the open back doorway. “OK, well,” I said. “I guess that’s all we’ll do today. How about we try again tomorrow?”
We shared the most comically awkward group hug, a horrible mess of pats on the back and overly extended stiff arms. They left, and I locked the door behind them. Oh fuck, I thought. I called Heather and told her that I had just come out to them. It felt unreal to speak these secrets aloud, hearing myself verbalize thoughts that had only ever existed in my head.
The guys had an hour and a half back to Gainesville to think about all that had just been unloaded on them. James has since told me that as he sat there stoned on that long drive home, a lot of memories over the past 15 years suddenly started to make sense for him. My lyrics, my behavior on tour; one by one, he had tiny flashes of realization about me in this new light.”]
laura jane grace, from tranny: confessions of punk rock’s most infamous anarchist sellout, 2016
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i live for your blog pretty lady, literally makes me horny everywhere at anytime and oh my fucking god can you imagine being really close friends with eddie, talking about anything without feeling uncomfortable, to the point where one time, he is at your place, laying in your bed and casually asks you how you usually pleasure yourself, and you tell him that yes, your own hands do the job, but you found out that humping your pillow feels really fucking good, and he just can’t imagine it so, you show him, thighs on each side of your pillow, starting to move back and forth as usual, right in front of this man, the sight of him and his red cheeks and his praises makes you weak to the point where you completely throw your panties at him and lift up your shirt so he could see your tits bouncing with every movement of your body, you cum so hard you completely make a mess on your pillowcase and he DIES once he sees the big fucking wet patch on it, i’m deceased <3
THIS IS HOT AS FUCK OMFGGGGGG
i can definitely see you guys having that kind of relationship. you’re just so comfortable with each other, that you share everything—even gross & personal things. maybe on this particular night, you guys are a little buzzed from drinking, and the guard in each of you comes down. lips get looser, thoughts come out of the mouth with little to no processing, and you’re absolutely willing to tell him anything he asks you. which is exactly what ends up happening, when he just casually asks: “so, how do you get yourself off?”
it takes you by surprise, because of all the things he could have asked, that was the last thing you expected. you pause with a can of beer to your lips, eyes wide as you look at him. “wait, what? did you just ask me how i…get myself off?”
“yeah,” eddie says, biting his lip as he glances you up & down. “i know it has to happen here, in this very bed, right? i’ve always been curious about how girls touch themselves, and…well, i thought you might make a nice, safe candidate.”
“you’ve never seen a girl playing with herself?” you ask, raising a brow with skepticism.
“only in porn,” he says with a shrug, lying back on the bed as he looks at you. “but we all know that shit is fake; i wanna see how it really works.”
“i just use my fingers most of the time,” you reply. “rubbing the clit, fingering myself, just like they do in those movies. but there is one thing that gets me off a lot harder than that, i guess…”
“what is it?” he asks curiously, turning on his side and propping his head on his arm.
“it’s…it might sound a little strange,” you say with a chuckle. “i lie on my side with a pillow between my legs, and grind against it. it feels really fucking good, believe it or not.”
he’s intrigued, smirking as he grabs one of your pillows and pushes it toward you. “show me.”
“what?”
“show me, y/n. i wanna see how that works, exactly.”
you’re not sure if it’s the booze or the fact that you actually want him to see how doing it, but you don’t hesitate. you’re still fully clothed, lying on your side to face him with the pillow squeezed between your thighs. you move your hips a little bit, trying to find a good pressure and pace to start. you moan softly, feeling the weight of the pillow against your cunt as your lashes flutter. he’s watching with crimson cheeks and ravenous eyes, mewling a little himself as you pick up speed. you’re watching him in return, feeling yourself getting wet as you meet his eyes. all the times you thought about him as you rode that pillow, chasing your release with the thought of his dick inside of you, or his fingers, or your cunt grinding his thigh, or even his tongue all over your pussy. you had also imagined his voice in your ear, praising you, calling you his good girl for cumming all over him just the way he likes. it was too fucking good, and you’re in heaven as you bear your clit on the thickest part of the pillow.
“fuck, that’s it,” he breathes, palming himself over his jeans. your eyes trail to his hand, and see that he’s got quite a noticeable bulge straining the denim. “that’s too goddamn filthy. you do this often?”
“a few times a week,” you reply, rocking your hips on the pillow with a whine. “maybe twice a day, if i’m really fucking horny.”
“christ,” he hisses, curling his lips inward as he continues to touch himself over his pants. “and it’s always like this? or do you switch it up?”
“usually this, but sometimes i use my fingers or toys,” you say. “i have a dildo here somewhere.”
“god, that’s hot,” he says, watching you as he licks his lips. “you’re such a good girl right now, y/n. keep doing that, just like you’ve been doing. that’s it…”
you listen, and his praises just keep coming. eventually you get more brazen, and your pants & underwear come off, the latter of which you throw at him and he catches. he holds onto them, cursing when he feels how soaked they are, and holds them to his face to inhale your scent. he moans in response, keeping them in his fist as you lift your shirt. you did away with your bra the minute you got home, so your tits are exposed to him as your hips continue to work. he’s so painfully hard now that he has to pull his erection out for relief, and he’s jerking off in the bed next to you as you try to bring yourself to orgasm. not only is he touching himself, but he’s doing it with your panties in his hand, moving the soaked garment over his dick with every stroke. the sight of his cock—thick, leaking precum, throbbing, flushed—combined with him using your panties to do it causes more wetness to pool onto the pillow. you whimper as his fist pumps his cock, his moans and the sounds of him beating off filling the air alongside your own moans.
“like what you see?” he asks, flicking his wrist as he gazes into your eyes. “since you’ve been so good, maybe i’ll let you blow me while you ride that pillow of yours.”
“please,” you beg, watching his hand move up and down his cock as he works faster. “i’ve wanted your cock in my mouth the second you pulled it out.”
he gets up and stands at the edge of the bed. he guides his cock into your mouth and fucks your throat as you hump the pillow, letting him dictate the pace & pressure which you do it. you’re a mess of drool and cum, but you don’t mind. eddie can’t stop looking at you, can’t stop calling you a good girl and telling you how fucking hot it is that you can fit his entire cock down your pretty throat, and oh god, how he can’t wait to be inside of you. he holds your hair in one hand, his own head tipped back as he twitches in your mouth. he pulls himself out, jerking off over your face as your tongue hangs out, all while you still hump that damn pillow.
“cum for me,” he demands, his fist working his spit-soaked cock as he meets your gaze. “i wanna see that pillow absolutely drenched.”
and you do cum—hard. it’s probably one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever experienced, and you cry out his name as you usually do when you’re alone. eddie can see the sticky mess you’ve made all over it, how it threads to your cunt when you try to pull away, and how wet your pussy still is despite having been rubbed against fabric for so long. there is a big wet patch on the pillowcase, your hips stuttering as you try to slow down. you still crave the friction, and watching eddie jerking off inches in front of your face makes you just want to keep going.
eddie tries so hard to hold back his own climax, but he fails miserably. hot ropes of cum shoot across your face and into your hair, some of it dripping down his shaft and onto his fist as he moans hotly. he admires your cum-splattered face, brushing some of your sticky hair from your eyes before pulling you up for a hot, hard kiss. he licks some of his own seed away from your cheeks, groaning at the taste before pushing you onto the bed. he hops on top of you, rolling you over so that you’re straddling him after admiring you for a moment. he takes your shirt off, running his hands over your breasts as you mewl filthily.
“wanna see those pretty nipples,” he mumbles, tweaking them in his fingers as his eyes scan your body. “you wanna know something else?”
“what?” you ask, gently grinding his dick as you both hiss from overstimulation.
“i lied earlier,” he says with a considerable expression. “well, kinda. i wasn’t actually curious as to how girls in general masturbate. i was curious about how you do it, and i gotta say, i was not disappointed. the reality was better than how i always pictured when i was alone.”
“are you saying that you got off to the thought of me touching myself?” you ask, head falling back again with a loud moan as he kneads your tits in his large, ringed hands.
he smirks wickedly, his hands settling on your waist as he helps you glide along his cock, which is getting hard again already. “that’s exactly what i’m saying, y/n.”
#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut
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If this is how I go, it’s worth it.
Dean x injured reader
Word count: 1,926
Trigger Warnings: injury, blood, mention of a firearm.
Summary: reader gets hurt protecting Dean.
A/N: Requests are open! Please send them to me. If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please let me know!
Masterlist
I’ve always had a hard time letting people into my life. Introducing them to the real me, the darker side of me that I hide behind a bubbly facade. The childhood that shaped me, something that very few people know about. When I was little there was no one to protect me from the things that I had to live through, the nightmarish situations that I still relive too often in my sleep. In adulthood, I’ve changed the narrative. I’ve become the protector, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help someone else. Save someone else. Especially those that I love and hold close to my heart.
Sam and Dean have always held a special place in my life. Ever since I met them, on a hunt many years ago. They’d taken me under their wing, Sam willingly, Dean reluctantly. I knew nothing of the supernatural until I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and become the next helpless victim of a nest of vampires. That was until Sam and Dean showed up, just in time.
They knew I didn’t have a great childhood, I’d clued them into that much. However, I would never let them in entirely. It was too much, I didn’t want them to think of me any differently. I’ve seen the way Dean already looks at me after hunts, the annoyance that comes over him when things don’t go the way he wanted. I see the concern that washes over Sam, when I come close to being injured, or when I walk away with cuts and bruises. I don’t need their pity, they don’t need that burden.
Through everything over the years, I began to love them more than I thought possible. Sam like a brother. Dean like an annoying asshole, but also my best friend that I loved with all of my heart, not that I would ever tell him. I couldn’t, he would never feel the same way I was sure of it.
So when I saw that demon smirk and point a gun directly towards Dean’s head, I never hesitated to throw myself onto him and shove him to the ground. My body blocking the path of the bullet, giving Sam enough time to finish the exorcism, the black cloud erupting from the helpless man and fleeing the room.
“What the hell, Y/N. You shouldn’t have done that!” Dean yells, anger etching its way across his face, the concern only evident from the tone of his voice. His eyes searching mine for any sign of pain.
“He was going to kill You Dean.” I grovel, pushing myself off of him, the adrenaline still pumping through my veins. Dean scowls, his hand coming up to his face to wipe some sweat from his brow.
“So what? You were going to sacrifice yourself for me? How much of an idiot are you?”
I roll my eyes at him, pushing off my thighs to stand from the squatting position I had moved into. It wasn’t until I stood fully upright and began to stretch my limbs that the searing pain caught up to me. I press my hand to my abdomen instinctively, trying to dull the pain.
“I’m not an idiot De-“ I stop mid sentence as I bring my hand up to eye level. Red. Dripping , red blood, covers the entirety of my fingers. My eyes dart up from my hand, locking with Sam’s from across the room. He’s staring back at me, shock etched across his face, but beginning to walk towards me.
“That’s debatable- oh my god Y/N, fuck.” Dean starts, his tone changing halfway through his lecture. He takes the two steps necessary to get to me, taking his flannel off in the process. I feel his hands grip my body, one going to my back, the other balling his flannel up and pressing it tightly against the wound in my abdomen.
“Sam, you’ve gotta help me.” Dean pleads, his eyes never leaving my face.
My body starts to feel numb, the adrenaline wearing off and searing pain roaring through every nerve ending in my body. I feel my legs collapse beneath me, Dean quickly compensating for my lack of lower body strength, by pulling me into his embrace.
I laugh bitterly, coughing and choking on what I assume is blood making its way through my lungs and out of my throat.
“If this is how I go De, it’s worth it. I promise you.” I whisper, my eyes locking with his vivid green ones. His eyes. I’d never allowed myself to stare into his eyes for this long, the deep green is enchanting. Pulling me in, the longer I look. I barely even notice my tears beginning to fall, I’m too focused on the way his eyes are beginning to water as he stares back at me.
I can see his lips moving, feel the way he’s shaking me gently, his hand cupping my face. Sam is right next to me too, I feel the floor pressing into my body as they lower me to the ground, in an attempt to slow the bleeding and apply more pressure. None of that matters now. Nothing matters now, my vision is blurring. My eyelids are heavy, so heavy.
“Hey!” Dean’s firm voice breaks through my haze, his hand lightly slapping my face, “don’t do that, Y/N. Don’t close your eyes. You don’t get to die on me, you hear me sweetheart?” I blink rapidly, trying to clear my field of vision. I momentarily succeed, my eyes locking with his again. I can see the absolute panic engraved into every ounce of this man’s face, he’s moving me now. My head falls forward as he places an arm under my shoulders, the other under my knees. He tucks my head against his chest with his chin, pressing a kiss to my sweat soaked hairline. I continue to fight the wave of exhaustion sweeping over me, blinking my eyes trying to keep them open. The last thing I see is Dean, looking down at me pleading for me to stay with him. But slowly, ever so slowly, my eyes fall closed and the world around me goes black
-
Agony.
This must be hell, the amount of pain that I’m in, the only explanation is hell.
A low groan escapes my lips, every inch of my skin is on fire. Muscles and nerves that I didn’t know I had are screaming out in protest as I try to take a full breath. I manage to inhale, immediately turning into a coughing fit as I choke on the air entering my lungs.
“Easy. Slow breaths, sweetheart.” A hand comes to rest on the crown of my head, stroking my hair gently. The touch startling me, causing me to panic and try to brush away the touch.
“Shhhh, it’s okay.” His voice rushes over my senses, calming me, reassuring me.
I force myself to open my eyes, unsure what to expect.
“Dean?” I whisper, finally realizing that he’s here in-front of me. “Am I dead?” My voice barely functioning, my throat dry and hoarse.
“It’s me sweetheart. You’re not dead. I told you I wasn’t going to let you go.” He smiles slightly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He holds a cup up to my lips, letting me take small sips, his fingers never leaving my skin.
“I must be dead, the Dean I know is never this nice to me.” I whisper, a small laugh escaping me, which I immediately regret. Relief floods over deans face, the crease in his brow lessens, a small smile reaches his eyes this time.
“That’s not true, idiot.” He says, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.
“That’s more like it, bitch.” I say, squeezing his hand back.
-
The next few weeks pass slowly, I’m never alone for more than five minutes. The boys take turns, keeping me company, changing my bandages, helping me shower, and just all around waiting on me hand and foot. Dean spends every night on the couch, that he had dragged into my room in the bunker. I don’t object, too weak and tired to even dare. I spend a lot of time sleeping, nightmares plaguing my every attempt at resting.
Tonight is one of those nights, I’ve already awoken from a nightmare. Now I lay on my side, gazing at Dean sitting on the couch. His fingers hovering over the keyboard on his laptop, researching some creature that he has refused to tell me about. Any time I have asked, it starts an argument about how the only thing I need to think about right now is recovering.
“I can feel you staring.” He smirks, bringing his eyes to meet my own, the corners of his mouth turning into a smile. He seems older, worry is etched deeper into his face, his eyes not nearly as bright as they used to be. The dark circles under his eyes, accentuated by the terrible late night lighting of my room.
“I can’t help it, you’re just so annoying I can’t not stare.” I mumble, gently pushing myself up on my elbow. Trying to conceal the wince that follows this slight movement.
Dean chuckles, closing his laptop and turning his body to face me.
“Y/N, we need to talk about what happened back there.” He stares, his brow furrowing again. So many emotions sweep across his face at once, I cant read him.
“You can’t do that again. You cant throw yourself into harms way to save me. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you. What am I saying? Something did happen to you. I already have a hard time looking at you, knowing you almost died to save me. I love you too much, to let you die for me.” He wrings his hands as he speaks, his eyes moving away from mine and focusing on the wooden floor boards beneath his feet.
A silence falls between us for a few moments, his words hanging heavy in the air. My head spinning at his words, I love you too much. Dean Winchester loves me.
“Dean, I don’t think you understand me nearly as well as you think you do. There is nothing you can say or do that would stop me from taking a bullet for you again. I will always do everything in my power to protect you. Protect you in the way that I never had. You would do it for me De, you gotta let me do it for you too.” His eyes are trained on me again, red rimmed and watery. He swipes at them with his fingers, clearing his throat and maintaining eye contact with me once more.
I slide my feet towards the edge of the bed, intent upon going to sit near to him. He stops me with a look and a few mumbled words about how I better not move my ass from my spot or else.
I huff, patting the bed next to me.
“C’mere then, Winchester.” I say, watching his every move as he crosses the distance of the bedroom to sit by my side.
“De-“I rest my head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath and steeling my nerves. He reaches over and intertwines our fingers, his thumb tracing a pattern into the back of my hand. “I love you too, more than I thought possible. I’ll always do anything I can to save you. On this side of hell and the next.”
#deanwinchesterfluff#dean winchester fluff#deanwinchesterxreader#dean winchester fic#supernatural dean#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester angst#dean winchester x injured reader#dean winchester#dean winchester comfort#dean x reader#supernatural#spn#wanderingwinchesters#sam and dean#dean x you#deanwinchesterblurb#sam winchester
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Arranged-ten
Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death.
Summary: Reader would do anything to make her parents happy and that included agreeing to an arranged marriage. She never expected it to be to one of New York's most feared Mob Boss: Bucky Barnes. He is anything but loving towards Reader however when her parents are mysteriously killed, Bucky makes it his mission to find out who were at fault. And in the process, ends up coming close to losing Reader.
Authors Note: Tags for this will be open, just shoot me a message or comment if you're interested!
Tags: @alexxavicry @mdpplgtz03 @broadwaybabe18 @samsgirl93 @cherryflavoureds-blog @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @clqrosmgc @loumaaria-blog @queerqueenlynn @pampeop @cjand10 @purplerain85 @savannahcole99 @evanstanhoney @sebastianstansqueen @portrait-ninja
Arranged Masterlist
The sudden rush of wind blew the bottom of my dress but I paid no mind to it, the cold breeze having no effect on my already frozen stature. My broken eyes were glued to the large hole in the ground where a two person casket had just been lowered, now filling up with dirt. The men on both sides of me stood with their arms crossed at their hips, not bothering to utter a word. Even if the funeral had ended some time ago, they knew that it wasn’t the time to leave.
Bucky spared no expense, giving my parents the best funeral they could ever imagine. All of their friends and family came out, some shocked that I had gotten married, especially since it wasn’t known that I was even dating anyone. A quick lie of ‘we kept it quiet for so long, that's why’ seemed to suffice.
I don’t know how I would have made it without Bucky by my side. He was there for me this past week more than I could have ever thanked him for. He put the majority of his meetings on hold so he could be with me, giving me whatever I needed.
The night I received the news was the first night Bucky and I shared a bed. I was broken and Bucky was afraid to leave me so he stayed with me that night, holding me in his arms until I fell asleep. The next night I found myself crawling into his bed when the nightmares began, thinking of how my parents died, and Bucky quickly wrapped me up into his embrace.
That was the last night we slept separate, opting to fully move into Bucky’s room.
It had been a week with zero updates from the detectives. There was no fingerprints, DNA, or any sort of evidence left behind.
“Whoever this person was, they knew what they were doing.” Detective Roth’s words kept replaying in my head.
Up until now, I had been upset and broken about losing my parents, especially after the last conversation I had with them. But now I was pissed, angry, and ready to figure out things on my own. I thought about asking Bucky, him having connections that I would need, but I didn’t want him knowing what I was up to. If he did, he would force me to stop.
“Doll?”
I hummed, still not able to form words, but kept my eyes glued to the ground below. Bucky sighed and linked out fingers together, the vibranium of his wedding band pressed into my skin. He decided to wear it on his right hand, mentioning something about having enough vibranium on his left. Bucky made that joke a few days ago, in hopes of it cheering me up.
It didn't.
“Y/N,” he pressed again. “They’re done.”
I blinked, shifting back to reality, and looked up towards Bucky. He’s had the same look plastered over his face the last week; sorrow. I told him countless times to stop giving me that look, I didn’t need him to feel sorry for me anymore.
Which is exactly what I told him now.
“Stop giving me that look, Bucky. I’ve been getting it all day and I’m so fucking tired of seeing it,” I sighed.
Bucky nodded then wrapped an arm around me to pull me into his chest. “Sorry. Let’s get you back home then.”
With my own arms wrapped around Bucky’s back, I looked over towards the other man that stood next to me all day.
“Are you coming back with us, Steve?”
The blonde shook his head. “I’ve got some errands to run but I’ll be there tomorrow.”
Besides Bucky, Steve had been there in my mourning and grief stricken state, a shoulder to cry on when Bucky had to step out for some kind of business.
“I’m guessing it's back to business,” I looked up towards Bucky.
He answered my question with a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m sorry, doll.”
I shrugged, letting him know I didn’t mind. Only because I had been planning on running a couple errands myself and the only way I would be able to do that was if both Bucky and Steve were preoccupied.
Soft snores sounded behind me as I traced the gold bands of Bucky’s vibranium arm while he slept. His bare chest pressed against my back worked like a personal heater, warming me the second we laid down together. Our feet were intertwined together at the end of the bed, and I knew when he began to twitch that I would be safe to sneak away.
Steve and him had been busy all day in the office with meetings working like a revolving door. I didn’t see who was coming or going because I had been in bed all day. Bucky thought I needed more alone time to mourn but I was doing the opposite.
I spent the majority of the day on my laptop and phone trying to chase down any leads I could in my parents murder; where they spent their last moments before coming home and who saw them that night.
It was all dead ends until I remembered someone who could help me in getting the answers I wanted. As much as I didn’t want to or the fact that Bucky told me to stay away, I needed his help. He had connections in law enforcement that I didn't.
It was almost midnight and he said that he would text me soon with an address of someone that remembers seeing my parents an hour before the murder.
Turning over in Bucky’s embrace, I watched him for a moment. His eyes moving underneath its lids, snores coming from his parted lips, and his messy hair falling into his face. Under the moonlight breaking in from the window, he looked so peaceful and divine.
I brushed the hair out of his face and laid a soft kiss on his cheek, the growing beard scratching my lips. His grip tightened while he buried his face deeper into my neck, leaving his own kiss. Guilt filled me knowing that I had gone against his word and was lying to him but I knew that this was what I had to do.
My phone buzzed on the table behind me and I did my best to reach for it in hopes of not waking Bucky.
21412 Longview Lane. 30 minutes-J.W.
“Who is it?” Bucky grumbled into the back of my neck.
Shit.
“Just another friend of my parents sending their condolences,” I lied while snuggling closer towards him.
“At midnight?” His half lidded eyes looked at the clock.
I smiled at his sleepy voice and nodded. “Late bird I guess.”
Bucky hummed before rolling towards the other side of the bed and when his back was turned, I placed a few kisses down his spine.
“I can’t sleep so I’m going to go downstairs and make some tea.”
With his grumble of words as a response, I knew this was the only chance I would get to sneak away for a bit.
I rubbed the red mark on my wrist with a grimace towards the guard who opened the metal door in front of me, a loud buzzer sounding throughout the building. As I walked through the long hallway, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the fight that was about to ensue the second we got into the car.
What I had just gone through the last two hours paled in comparison to the man that was waiting in the lobby. I wished they would have called anyone else but since he was my husband, they had to call Bucky.
My tired glance landed on Bucky who was leaning against the front desk, an angry scowl on his face. The cop next to him handed him all of my personal belongings and he took them without saying a word.
“Hi,” I muttered once I was in front of him.
Bucky kept his hardened face before linking our hands together and somewhat nicely dragged me to the car. The twenty-minute drive home was complete silence, the only thing that could be heard in the small confinement was Bucky’s heavy breathing. He had been gripping the steering wheel so tight that his flesh knuckles had gone white.
The car eased up the drive and once he was parked in front of the house, I made a quick dash inside, hoping to avoid whatever conversation that was about to ensue.
“Arrested, Y/N? Are you fucking serious?!” Bucky’s voice boomed as he slammed the front door shut.
The sudden raise in his voice caused me to jump slightly and I turned on the staircase where I had only made it to the third step.
“It was stupid. The cop only arrested me because I'm married to you. He wanted to make a point by arresting New Yorks most feared mob boss' wife,” I shrugged.
Bucky pinched his eyes in annoyance. “What the hell were you doing trespassing on someone's property across town in the middle of the night? Do you know how dangerous that was, especially because Steve or I weren’t with you.”
“I wasn’t alone,” I defend.
HIs shoulders went rigid. “John Walker? Really? Have you lost your fucking mind?”
I sliced him in half with my gaze. “I know what I’m doing, Bucky.”
“Did you forget what I told you about Walker?” He asked.
“I didn’t have a choice, Bucky. He’s the only one that can help me!” My voice was now raised, anger mixed with annoyance.
His brow raised in confusion. “With what? Breaking into someone's house?”
I hesitated, unsure if I should tell him the truth. He could see the way I resisted and I’m sure he could hear my heart hammered hard against my chest. Sweat began to form in my palms so I wiped them on my pants before taking a deep breath.
“I’ve, uh, been looking into my parents murder,'' I stuttered.
Bucky’s eyes softened. “Why, doll?”
“Because no one has had any answers! It’s been over a week and nothing!” I snapped. “If the cops won’t do anything then I will!”
“And you go to Walker for help?”
The hurt in Bucky’s voice didn’t go undetected and my heart dropped, realizing that maybe I should have gone to him in the first place; could have avoided an arrest charge.
“The John that I know is different from the one you do, Bucky. There was a point in my life where he would have done anything for me,” I defended my choice.
“You knew him, Y/N. He’s not the same anymore,” Bucky responded with a flat tone.
“How do you know?” I curled a brow. “Oh that’s right, you won’t tell me because it’s on the list of ‘secrets to keep from Y/N.”
I turned on my heels, ready to end this conversation, but Bucky followed close behind as I made my way to our room.
“You need to end this whole pretend cop nonsense.” Bucky said while shedding himself of his leather jacket, tossing it onto the couch in our room.
I chuckled dryly. “Haven’t you learned that you can’t tell me what to do?”
Bucky stepped in front of me as I tried to slip away from him into the bathroom.
“This is serious shit, doll. You can end up hurt or worse.”
I raised a finger to him. “I won’t stop until my parents' murders are either caught or dead. If I get hurt in the process, who cares.”
Bucky’s face fell. “Don’t say that.”
I shrugged. “You mean to tell me that you would be hurt if something happened to me? Bucky, this marriage was built on an arrangement between you and my parents. They’re dead so you can consider yourself off the hook.”
“Y/N,” Bucky’s voice cracked.
I ran a hand through my hair. “Look, I'm exhausted and just want to go to sleep. We’ll figure everything out tomorrow morning.”
I didn’t bother giving him time to respond as I slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.
#mob!bucky barnes#mob!bucky barnes x reader#mob!bucky barnes and reader#mob!bucky barnes x yn#mob!bucky barnes and yn#mob!bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes and reader#sebastian stan
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how do i figure if a girl would be open to get cucked? how do you find girls like these? what are the signs? are there very few of them?
If you’re looking for women who have a cuckquean fetish, you might want to try kink sites like Fetlife for pro-kink dating apps. Some women have that listed as one of their kinks or that they like to share/watch. You may even write something on your profile about seeking women who are into that.
Something important that I should point out is you shouldn’t try to poach another man’s quean. If she is already bonded to someone, don’t decide that he’s not meeting her needs and suggest that she let you cuck her. It doesn’t work that way.
Also, don’t assume that any quean will automatically get turned on at the first mention of you fucking someone else. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a message from a man who basically said, “Will you get wet if tell you I fucked someone?”, thinking it works just like that. Speaking for myself, that is annoying. I need to be bonded to a man in order to develop quean feelings for him. I have to appreciate him and his sexuality to see him in that way. So you want to have consent before having that kind of interaction with a quean.
Now, if you’re already in an established relationship and want to see if a woman has quean potential, you can always ask her. It may be easier if she’s open minded to kinks and feels comfortable talking to you about them.
If you are unsure if she’d be into that, or feel she’s not experienced enough to be open, you can always “test the waters “ Some women may be turned on by the concept, but aren’t fully aware of their kink. If she is a woman that is attracted to other women, there may be potential for a three-way, which is always a good foot in the door. If you watch porn together, you might want to have her watch some porn that caters to cuckqueaning. You can tease her while she’s watching it and you may also react to parts of the video that really excites you so she knows you like it.
If you can get a woman into edging and denial, you would be amazed at how much her mind opens to different kinks.
As for signs, I do know some women can be pretty good at hiding this as their kink, especially if they are inexperienced or still trying to explore it. Some women can be quite confused by being turned on by this. Some women discover this about themselves from being cheated on.
If you decide to explore this with a woman, remember that communication, boundaries, and consent are very important and you will likely have issues if you don’t put that person‘s feelings first. A new quean may have difficulty processing her emotions and it’s best you be present for her and how she feels without judgement. It is a very mental kink and you must be responsible when exploring that with someone. It’s so much more than just having a woman that lets you fuck other women. If you are getting into it just to have a loving woman stand by your side while you have all the sex you want with other women, you are probably getting into it for the wrong reasons.
Let me know if you have any other questions and thank you for the Ask.
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A very heart-wrenching scene from an rp with a friend. Vic is being shown the footage of the aftermath of him being given an experimental drug by GHOST. Here’s the scene that inspired the drawing;
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The reality of the situation hit Vic like cold water as his vision cleared, the ringing in his head died down, voices came into focus, as did everything else - including the blue-white light of the room he was in. Naturally, he looked down and began to struggle against his bonds, even despite that he had no strength left at all, his movements were violent enough that he broke one of the bonds holding him and further damaged one of his arms in the process.
“**Secure him, for fuck’s sake.**”” Lena spat at one of the masked scientists, who were clearly unfamiliar with the Cyborg. The next thing Vic felt was the strangest sensation he’d ever experienced in his life. With the push of a button, the cables in his head delivered targeted electrical signals into specific regions of his brain, completely paralysing his body from the neck down.
He blinked in shock, not even able to communicate the fear he was feeling as he could not move an inch. Victor was no coward though. He had experienced worse and he was not going to be broken easily. He regained his composure and wordlessly stared ahead as he heard them approach.
“…*’You’re looking well’*, Victor~” Lena mocked, reminding him of why she hated him so, as well as being as potently sarcastic as possible all in the space of one sentence. Vic looked deathly.
Silas didn’t seem to notice, he was too busy making note of what a shame it was going to be to *waste* such a weapon… He hardly noticed that Vic was even human at all.
“Such a feat of engineering and biomechanics~ I am pleased to meet you at last, Victor. Allow me to introduce myself briefly, I am Silas. See me and mine as ah, the clean-up crew. Don’t be alarmed, my men are well trained but nobody here is going to harm you.. That is, unless you *make* them want to harm you..”
Vic’s eyes narrowed under his brow, his jaw set and clenched as he simply stared ahead, allowing his eyes to close for a moment of intense frustration before finally turning his face toward the man who called himself Silas. He noticed Lena standing there and scoffed, allowing himself to grin as he laid his head back.
“…What’ll it be this time, Lena? What, pray tell, the fuck….” Vic lamented, almost deliriously with his voice cracking as he grinned at his pathetic, exhaustive situation.
He soon looked toward Silas as Lena circled around the bed, obviously taking her time for the sheer *fun* of seeing Victor so helpless.
“Silas, is it? Well Si, why don’t you hop up on my lap and *swivel*~ Then, you and your …heh, ‘boys’ here can show me how good of a ‘clean up crew’ you *really* are. Cunt.” Vic seethed out, the venom in his voice as cold as ice and sharper than frostbite. He coldly spat at Silas’s feet, getting him on his ever-so-shiny boots. He was fully beyond giving a fuck anymore at this point and went back to chuckling to himself.
Silas looked down at his boots, not expecting such spirit, but Lena was furious, as ever. If only she could find a way to *silence* that mouth of his…
She stormed over, closing the gap between herself and the scientist, grabbed him under his jaw and then back-handed him across the face as hard as she could.
“Now I have your attention, you *might* wanna shut the fuck up, because I’ve got a *cute* little video, you might wanna see.” Lena whispered to him, as she then turned her attention to the screen. She lifted the remote, it started playing ….the same scream he’d been hearing in his nightmares for days, the same fragments of the fight with Sky he’d also re-lived, were now playing before him in what looked like 4K…. His face changed in an instant as the sound made him jump, the piercing cries and now, *the footage* of what he did as well. Before Vic could even begin to process what he was seeing, his eyes were blinking tears that ran down his face as he watched and listened in abject terror.
____
Vic and Lena (C) me
Sky (C) Turtwap
#transformers#illustration#digital art#horrortron#art#tfe mandroid#transformers earthspark#sketch#my art#au mandroid#transformers rp#transformers earthspark au#transformers plagued horrorverse stuff#spooky cyborg scientist#my oc shit#transformers oc#oc artist#very sad#interrogation#manipulation#torture#horror art#my art stuff#rp is seriously informing my ideas nnnghhh#scary art#punk cyborg dude#transformers crossover rp#transformers tfp Silas#transformers tfp
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fexi--“ truth is that i’m so damn in love with you that i don’t know what to do with myself."
thank you for your patience on this! hope it’s worth the wait. 🩷🩷🩷
-
“Did I do something wrong?”
Lexi hates how small her voice sounds when asking that question, but it’s the only logical conclusion she can come up with. Her blooming friendship with Fezco over the last several months has been the highlight of her Junior year - who knew her friend’s favorite drug dealer was as soft hearted as he was soft spoken? - but in recent weeks she’s felt him pulling away. Not fully, not enough that it would be obvious to anyone else, but Lexi’s been ditched enough by friends in the past that she knows the warnings signals better than most.
She’s sitting on the counter of Fez’s store, feet swinging anxiously as she tries to look anywhere but directly at him, absolutely failing her attempt. A wild range of emotions flash across Fezco’s face in a blink of an eye before he settles on confusion.
“The fuck you talkin’ ‘bout Lexi?” he asks, looking at her over the clipboard she gifted after watching him lose track of his stock list more than once. “You damn near perfect girl, c’mon now.”
It’s moments like this, ones where he puts her on a pedestal, that she thinks she’s just getting in her head. But then something else will happen - awkward goodbyes when he’s dropping her off or a strained voice on the phone - and Lexi’s reminded of every failed friendship she’s ever had.
She knows she is too much of a people pleaser, too happy to let other people walk all over her if it means an ounce of affection in return, and she’s trying her hardest to change that. It fucking hurts that the person who pointed this all out to her and gave her the confidence to stop being a doormat is doing the exact thing they’d warned against, but that’s life sometimes right?
Lexi didn’t bring this up to back down now. If he’s going to end their friendship, she’d rather he rips it off like a bandaid instead of letting her down gently.
She pushes her hair behind her ears and straightens her spine. “If you don’t want to be friends anymore, just tell me outright. You’re not saving my feelings by slowly withdrawing from me Fezco. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”
“The fuck?” the man utters again, shaking his head slightly. Fez tosses the clipboard down beside her, Lexi managing to only flinch slightly at the sound. “Did Ash say sumn to you?”
Lexi shakes her head no. “He didn’t need to. I’ve put it together myself.”
Blue eye stare her down intently, like they’re attempting to call her bluff, but there’s nothing there for him to catch her on. Ashtray has been more or less indifferent to her role in his brothers life since the first time they met and barely speaks to her unless he absolutely needs to.
Fezco lifts a single eyebrow in question as he places himself directly in front of her, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Put what together?”
“Come on Fez,” Lexi sighs lightly. “I know I come on really strong when I value someone’s friendship, and I can tell that you’re over my bullshit. It’s not the first time this has happened, you know. If you don’t want to be friends anymore you should just tell me.”
A long sighs winds it’s way out of the man in front of her, Fezco leaning his head back as he blinks up at the fluorescents on his ceiling. He’s rubbing the back of his neck as he finally looks back down at her.
Okay, this is it, this is when he tells her she’s right. Lexi braces herself for impact.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ Lex,” Fez replies, stepping forward to close the gap between them. “Ion know where you got all these ideas ‘bout what I’m feelin’, but Imma tell you that yo’ ass got most of it wrong.”
“Most of it?” The question slips out before she can process it, probably because Fezco’s pushing his way between her knees in order to grip his hands onto her hips.
“I mean yo’ right about one thing,” Fezco smirks, thumbs rubbing smoothly under the edge of her cardigan against the skin of her waist, creating a blazing path as her hands come up to his shoulders of their own accord. “Ion wanna be yo’ friend anymore.”
Lexi blinks. “What?”
“Fuck baby,” Fez responds, closing the space between them in order to rub his nose against hers. “Truth is that I’m so damn in love witchu that Ion know what to do with myself. You got me beyond fucked up Lexi.”
“I do?”
She feels his smile more than she sees it, the way his mouth is brushing against hers. “Hell yeah. You got me nervous as hell. You know what typa power you hold in order to make a drug dealer nervous Lex?”
Lexi’s mind has gone pleasantly blank at Fezco’s words. It takes her several moments to allow herself to reboot before she realizes he hasn’t kissed her yet because he’s waiting on an answer, waiting for her to show him she’s good with how quickly he flipped the script on her.
Lexi grips the collar of his sweater tightly before she finally whispers. “Show me.”
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day 4 of reya singh’s 4-day mind reprogramming process! .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚
day 4: today is the day you will shift. anchor this firmly in your mindset. as you go through your day and routine, consciously connect every action to shifting. drinking water, brushing your teeth, showering, watching tv, breathing, eating— associating literally every activity, no matter how mundane, to bringing you closer to shift. even negative experiences can be reframed as stepping stones toward this goal. let this relentless positive focus saturate your consciousness. this day takes you into your desired reality.
alright!! this is technically not day 4 as it would’ve been monday the 5th not today (tuesday 6th) so, excuse that, i’ll explain. anyway! before we get into this, i just want to state: no, i did not shift, but maybe got close. this attempt is similar to another. i will explain what happened and my overall thoughts about this process. long post!! (˘ŏ_ŏ)
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆what happened?⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
so to address the timeline, i did attempt to shift monday which is the official 4th day but right when it hit 12am for me since i’m in bed by then. i love “awake” methods, they’re all i usually do but i can only do them at night when i am left alone and nothing is bothering me. i’m busy during the day and there’s never a quiet moment.
i did everything as usual, i got myself ready for bed, buzzing with good energy and semi-controlled giddiness. i lay down, put my headphones on and i listen to reya’s guided meditation. i get into a nice deep calm state, i don’t feel my body too much and i’m very relaxed. i affirm and affirm, keep relaxed. i don’t feel any “symptoms” per se, maybe like a tingling sensation here and there but i barely notice (i know i don’t need to experience these). so this continues on and eventually i go in and out of consciousness. the whole time i doze off and come back, i hear the subliminal music in my ears and no cue i’m in my wr. i remember getting frustrated but not why, i wasn’t mad i wasn’t in my wr or anything i know that for sure. really strange, but i’m not thinking much of it. in summary, i fell asleep and nothing much happened.
that brings me to 12am today. i got ready for bed as usual and around 11:20pm (of yesterday) i’m finally in bed. i’m looking through notifs, apps, etc., then i decide to shift again. because why not? fuck it, let’s do it.
so after reviewing my script (and adding to it), i lay back with alunir’s guided meditation playing in my headphones. i’ve used it several times before. i relax immediately, etc etc etc., you know how it goes. again, not many “symptoms”, i barely notice the smaller ones like tingling. i get into a very very relaxed state, can’t feel my body much and i affirm and set my intentions as i hear what alunir says. like the last attempt, i doze off a little at first but then i’m fully awake. and soon i start smelling the faintest scents of rain and cologne (scripted this for my wr). i’m even calmer than last time this happened, got excited but i shut that shit down quick to focus. another cue i had in mind to know i’m in my wr is connor “waking” me up. he would gently wake me up not by talking but touch. (i’ve yet to post abt him, i will soon. he’s connor from a game called detroit become human. he’s like my assistant(?) in wr)
man i just remembered as i’m typing this up, i felt a shove to my arm/shoulder. it wasn’t aggressive but not so gentle, somewhere in the middle. i can’t tell if this was just a jerk my body did or something more for a split second. i don’t know what to define it as but i’m more sure it was just a jerk than anything else.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆overall thoughts⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
i think this is an amazing process. i believe it really helps lock down your belief in shifting as well as whatever you want to work on while using this. i felt pretty confident about my abilities to shift and it helped strengthen my positivity about shifting as a whole.
throughout all the exercises of this process, it helped strengthen so many parts of myself. reflecting on my journey thus far and what i hope to get out of one of many lives is so incredibly motivating and eye-opening. it gets you to really sit down and think about what you want and what you see for your overall life. this process really helps you see your dr(s) as a real place. not something you can only dream of but a real place where you can be. where everyone around you is real and have very real lives.
i definitely recommend others to try this process out. even if you don’t end up shifting, it can help strengthen your mindset and get you to think deeply about your dr(s). in turn, get you that much more closer to shifting!! ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
#— mir’s reality: exploring methods! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧#shiftblr#shifting community#reality shifting#desired reality#shifting realities#shifting blog#criminal minds shifter#shifting motivation
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You guys, my Saturday was a roller coaster 🤣
I had what I’m pretty sure is an intestinal blockage late Friday night. I was home alone with Ender when it happened and knew I probably needed to go to the hospital but I wasn’t sure how to make that happen, so I passed it at home. Definitely one of the scarier experiences I’ve ever had. I have never been so relieved to vomit and puke. Never been so relieved to see blood in my toilet. It’s wild how much better I felt as soon as it opened up, but I still feel Not Good and am still in pain so I am worried it hasn’t fully cleared. So I need to call the doctor today to see about getting some kind of scan or scope or cam to check on that.
Tried to go to the gym Saturday morning; that was dumb. Rowed for about 20:00 before I realized I was only making things worse for myself, so I went home.
I had great news waiting for me when I got home - my Stelara had arrived, with instructions to inject every SIX weeks. My GI came through; my appeal was approved! It still crazy to me that it took 1.5 months, and no one involved int the process could update me on anything. Like the only way I had any clue what was happening is bc one of my best friends is a psych doc and has to go through that a lot with her patients who are on injections and was able to kind of walk me through the process of how she deals with stuff on her end. So that’s a relief, I hope it makes a difference.
But did I stay home? No. I should have, there were so many reasons pointing to stay the fuck home. But no, I left my house to go to lunch and do some shopping with Robbie and Ender, and we were in line to order our food at Portillo’s when a man came and tapped my husband on the shoulder to ask if we owned the restaurant SUV because he hit our car trying to pull out of his parking space. I assumed that meant he like… scratched it? No, he ripped part of the bumper off 🫠 We had to have it towed. His truck was so high up that I couldn’t even see up into the windows when I was sitting inside of my SUV. He legit didn’t see us at all. I’m sorry, but you should only be allowed to drive big truck if you know how to safely operate it. So now my car is out of commission, and our other car isn’t starting, so I had to borrow a car from my parents. So not the worst, but definitely an inconvenience I do not want to deal with when I feel like ass!
Anyway, after that I was like yeah we’re done, no shopping, only rage, time to go home, and I spent 6 glorious hours on the couch reading and then we ordered pizza for dinner. So it didn’t end all bad, but man!
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I didn’t know the new chapter has been out FOR A WEEK. Thanks Tumblr!
Anyways, lovely start to my morning, pretty sure my pup was enraptured cause he was snuggled with me looking at my screen as I scrolled faster than light to read.
Seeing the softer side of Ghost during the panic scene was really nice and I could almost hear his internal thoughts of “what the fuck did they do, what did WE do”. I feel as though that scene really revealed for them just how wrong they were about her and it was heartwarming to see them rally
Price was a t total DICK at first, but the love confession shocked him into his right mind. This man on his knees DID something to me, we love a man in the wrong on his knees “apologizing” (i’ll take murder as an apology along with a check sir). When Canary is healed she better make him kneel and beg.
Now on to your writing, i’m always impressed but WOW this is by far your best work, you articulated the inner thoughts of a panicked person so well I thought I was having an episode and that I WAS canary for a moment and had to take a breather. You perfectly put into a visual word form complete panic and shattered thoughts. This is a masterwork because everything was written both incomprehensible and sharp, written so that we knew how canary was thinking, with how fast events were happening and how quickly canary had to try and process it while psychologically shattered herself. I keep rereading because i’ve never read anyone write in such a way.
How dare you make me feel these emotions at 8 in the morning. I’m so impressed with your work and i’m excited to see you flourish from here. -🔥
i legitimately think hell will freeze over long before tumblr actually works like it's suppose to.
asldkajsdal not the dog reading along with you, and so early in the morning too omg i'm sorry 😭
ghost def went through a lot of realizations in that moment, the most important being that he was very very wrong about canary and regardless of how he feels about her, he needs to help her. we'll be seeing more sides to ghost in the next few chapters and maybe a few conversations with canary too!
i really like the love confession as a whole, just because it's so quick and so simple but so effective in getting price's attention. like he's just kinda laid into her, and is fully convinced canary's played him the entire time only for her to respond by telling him she loved him. it's the first time she's ever said it to him, and it throws him off enough that his anger is momentarily forgotten.
thank you so much, i usually try to draw from my own experiences with panic attacks and anxiety when i write those scenes for canary. given how quickly things happen for her, esp in the last chapter, i try my best to show how fast she has to process things while it all just keeps stacking onto the panic she's been pushing down until eventually it all boils over and she can't stop it. she's going through so many emotions, she's scared, angry, stressed, lonely, depressed, confused, just so many things that i don't even she realizes what she's feeling, all the while she's trying to keep herself together and figuring out how to save herself. i know it won't relate to everyone's experiences, but i do my best to portray her dealing with everything and the consequences of pushing it all down.
thank you so much again!!! i'm pretty impressed with myself making it this far, and i'm so eternally grateful for everyone coming on this ride with me!! 💜
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BG3 playthrough - ending act 2
Ugh. I’m at the end of Act 2 now…. This game has kept me so wonderfully occupied for months, I’m kind of sad to be nearing the end, but also excited to see what else will happen. Of all the things I have already spoiled for myself, I’m mostly totally unfamiliar with the dark urge content for act 3, so I’m excited to see what new horrors I get to wring my tav through!
I thought I’d quickly wrap up after defeating Ketheric and move on, but dang there’s a lot of things to clean up here… everyone suddenly needs to talk to me all at once, even fricking Withers showed up. There’s books to grab now that no one is watching, corpses to loot. Aylin and Isobel are fucking hilarious, I love them, they’re adorable.
I’m really sad there’s so many ways to shit-talk Zevlor with Cerys. (oddly there’s also dialogue options to talk about him as if he’s dead when he definitely is not. The dialogue in act 2 definitely needs some polish, I’ve found a lot of little errors like this) Man I dunno. I mean he definitely failed. His own personal responsibility in regards to that failure is debatable. The tieflings are certainly in their right to be angry. But like. He fully accepts his culpability without excuse. He seems like he’s completely thrown himself away because of one moment of weakness against a foe whose entire MO is to manipulate people into obedience. In the end he wasn’t even suitable to be a true soul anyways, he says he was rejected, possibly because he was fighting, he can’t remember. I totally get the anger but I also feel bummed I don’t have more dialogue options to try to argue harder on his behalf, even if Cerys will never forgive him. Sigh. Does Alfira have anything to say? In a normal playthrough is she with the group at the tower? I’m just too protective of my sad old man hellrider I guess.
Before I left the shadow curse map, I stopped back at Last Light just to see if there was anything left. …there was. There were a handful of tieflings still there, and still giving me the “I saw a light in the sky!” dialogue. I hope nothing is permanently bugged for them and they’ll travel over to act 3 properly? Lakrissa was still there, Cal and Lia were still there, and Danis was there by himself in the yard (amusingly, after I brought him back from the Moonrise prison, sometimes he was walking around with Bex, and other times they somehow got separated and would just stay stuck in their separate spots, waiting for the other one to join them).
I’ve heard some people say that the scene with Raphael and Mol playing lanceboard has been removed, and replaced with a bit of an odd dialogue instead. I reloaded one of my own saves of me walking up to Last Light for the first time, and it was still the lanceboard scene for me, but maybe I just wasn’t loading back far enough? Some people speculate that the scene has been changed to get rid of an uncomfortable comment Raphael makes about Mol being “a blushing apple waiting to be plucked.” Other people are saying this is actually a glitch, and I am hoping that is the case. I accidentally got a strange dialogue path once when I was talking to Jaheira, and it seems this dialogue is from an alternate plot if you didn’t end up saving the grove. I’m hoping this alternate Raphael scene has to do with that.
Raphael’s line is definitely extremely uncomfortable but like. In my opinion… that’s… the point. Y’all really, really, desperately really need to learn that it’s ok to feel uncomfortable, there are going to be lots of things in life that make you feel uncomfortable, and you are actually going to have to find a way to process that feeling rather than demand that everything that makes you feel uncomfortable be removed. It’s an uncomfortable line. I don’t think Raphael has specific sexual intent in mind when he makes the statement, but I think it is very unfortunately worded, and it’s like that on purpose, and it’s supposed to make you go oh wow that is not cool. Raphael is a devil, he is literally evil, and I’m sorry if this comes as a surprise, but it makes sense that he would say things that are Not Good.
Anyways, I do really think it’s a glitch rather than a change, because if you wanted to get rid of that line, it would be much much easier to just edit that single line out of the conversation and salvage the rest of the scene, rather than completely rewriting a totally new conversation, a new conversation which now also doesn’t start the discussion about Mol’s contract with Raphael. That’s what I’m putting my money on, anyways, and I hope it’s true, because the lanceboard scene is nice and that would be a stupid reason to just cut the entire thing out.
In all the gifs I’ve seen of Gortash, I never understood his appeal, he always just gave me the overwhelming impression that he smells like a pile of damp towels that sat in a corner instead of being properly dried. Now that I’ve seen him, I am doubling down on that. I’m glad for the girlies who are crazy for him, and I definitely like him as an amusing antagonist, but I still imagine him as a stinky mildewed goblin man.
I am STILL crying about the little note from baby Isobel that Ketheric kept with him. I think my tav is going to start carrying that around as well. Fuck, man.
My tav has really been through the shit with all the creepy dark urge flavour in the colony, and all he wants is a fucking rest to process some of this, but he can’t because now we’ve got the Big Giant Emperor reveal coming up.
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Lee McKenzie I believe wrote in her book about seb. A lot of women, myself included had to grow and unlearn some internalized misogyny (I hate that this is even sounding like I’m defending a white man, I’m not even his fan lmao but I think it’s a very nuanced conversation) it’s a whole learning process. it’s another reason why I think a certain driver lost a portion of early dts fans. they fawned over the carefree personality. but that was a different time. many appearances on controversial podcasts and same carefree gimmick especially post covid just isn’t as appealing.
I’ve had my own personal judgements about the entire rebrand of Vettel but idk imo it’s a bit unfair to hold him to his actions of a different time (based on how Lee described him. and I say different time also because of course one person being okay with it doesn’t mean it’s okay for everyone ) and give grace to the forever ignorant (I’m not saying you in particular are). I hate how this is sounding lol. of course I’m not for having him as the poster boy of activism in f1 esp when he quite recently said some fucked up stuff about the Middle East but that’s besides that. 20 powerful men, atm 1 ally, and based on the reactions on social it seems like a lot of people are also tired of it always being him cuz he’s not a saint, he’s not supposed to be. I can understand why people are thirsty for seb to come back. Of course it’s not a fix to the inherent problem but everyone is just tired of the general silence and ignorance.
I agree it's a nuanced thing and I felt like I've been nuanced about it in my previous posts about the subject but maybe not enough?
So to clarify, like I said in my first post on the matter "I don't doubt he's changed since then". I just wouldn't use him as the poster child for women's inclusion in the sport, and like previous anon said it's a bit weird to be like "Seb, come save the women!" overall, but especially due to his past behaviors. I do think it's possible to both let people learn from their mistakes and still hold them accountable for them.
I also just felt it necessary to remind maybe specifically the newcomers that he's not a saint and he should be held to the same standard all the others are being held to (or at least should be held to) because I'm getting a bit tired of the sanctification of these men doing the bare minimum myself, just because the others are not even doing that.
The next nuance is the fact that I simultaneously don't think we can expect actual or radical activism from them because like I've sometimes said on this blog these are employees doing a job, first of all, so they can't just do and say whatever they want in what is essentially their workplace + as you say, and I fully agree, learning takes time. But again it really wasn't that long ago he was misbehaving in the paddock and if I was able to learn about this shit as a teenager then so can they. It's also not the same thing doing activism and. You know. Just not harassing people. Like there's doing good things (which is hard tbh) and there's not doing bad things (pretty easy).
Anyway if I'm gonna hold the others accountable despite all that or because of all that, which I do, I'm gonna hold him accountable as well. All in all I wasn't saying Seb is trash or more trash than any of the others. I'm just saying calling on him to come save the women of F1 is 1) weird 2) ill-suited 3) fucking weird.
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