#it was a fucking joke!????
Text
Wait I prepared crazy for death red because I read many comments how deathly hard it is I even prepared my mysterious serums for just this fight and go home take all my big guns and it was a FUCKİNG JOKE.
I feel mariner so hard. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Holy shit. I never fall for a joke this hard in my life.
#it was a fucking joke!????#omg mariner is about to cry so is me#my epic battle i want it#fallout 4#geym#death red super big spoilers#omg i am still not sure but i am so angry but also laughing#holy shir i even waited for big mother to show up#holy shit we needed to be forced to call the marines not like this#i am right now super heavy armed i should go kill something to be calmed
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
65K notes
·
View notes
Text
Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
43K notes
·
View notes
Text
clair de lune will always go down smooth, claude really did put his whole debussy into this one
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes
#book 24#the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this#greatest hits#all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way#and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs#a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls#not exactly war crimes but Ok#sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys#can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head#please be normal#will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
I have found the best ally
Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.
Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Sai?"
Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."
My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."
Random woman: "Excuse me?"
Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*
Me: *pissing myself laughing*
My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Sai, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."
Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."
#trans pride#queer#nonbinary#lgbtqia#queer pride#queer community#lgbtq#lgbtq community#queer joy#queer jokes#queer journey#fuck transphobes#transgender#anti capitalism#anti zionisim#anti trans violence#trans ally#lbgtqia#gender is a social construct#Why are all Russians such good allies I stfg
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word
I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.
(I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post#tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then#anyway once again i'm sorry#i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone#i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper#because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love the concept of exile. like dude just get out
#text post#edit: the notes are an absolute warzone and i cant believe this has to be said on 2 line joke post but go trans rights and fuck terfs 💀#edit 2: changed back to original post because some people wanted it
164K notes
·
View notes
Text
average friendship
#astonishing how many 'we're fucking' jokes can you fit into 10 seconds#house md#hilson#james wilson#greg house
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW
#My brother in ra what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?????#*gestures to all my trauma*#memes#meme#funny#haha#joke#jokes#mizismiz
49K notes
·
View notes
Text
probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
52K notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: shit who smoked all the weed?
my therapist, hannabis lector: whoa dude idk that’s crazy
#Jokes#dem dad jokes#nbc hannibal#hannibal montanabal#I’m so fucking high shit fuc…..#If I’m not the first person to have done this joke I’m going to Roblox#myself#boring text posts
26K notes
·
View notes
Audio
all this talk about goncharov but i dont see anybody posting the soundtrack??? like how are you gonna talk about this movie without the music
#goncharov#goncharov 1973#i cannot fucking believe this is the best thing ive ever composed im so fucking mad#wrote a whole ass composition for a joke and its better than my serious shit lol
90K notes
·
View notes
Text
HEY
HEY.
#TROUSLED YELLS#UNDERTALE#PAPYRUS#DELTARUNE#JEVIL#NEVER UNDERESTIMATE MY ABILITY TO GRASP AT STRAWS#IS IT A JOKE OR DOES IT MEAN SOMETHING. IS IT A JOKE OR A WINK AND NOD. TOBY FOX WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
i absolutely love teenagers. i told a group of them about my work and asked them what their demands for the united nations would be and they debated among themselves and told me to "tell them to make doner kebab three euros again". yeah man i'll ask
#no joke ive been citing this as a positivr example for youth engagement to anyone in the ministry who will listen#teens SHOULD be advocating for everyday problems they face like the cost of living crisis and not be#shouldered with the responsibility for the entire future#'teenagers are the future' they are also the fucking present. allowed to have ordinary problems like everyone else!!!#dont fucking burden them with your shortcomings! you figure it out!!!!
14K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
thetecton
t h e t e c t o n
thetecton
t h e t e c t o n
gummydinosaur
may the tea be with you
briang111
Untitled
superwingshine-world
CC and SW on top!! ❤️