Tumgik
#it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
wee-toe · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
9 notes · View notes
Heartwork- E.M. Pt. 3
You and Eddie go out to dinner at the diner.
1 - 2 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - Epilogue
Masterlist
TW- Cursing, innuendo
Pairings- Eddie X Reader
Word Count- 1,711
(Gif not mine, Credit to owner!)
Tumblr media
You nod as you all walk out of the theater, having been the only one to see it before, you were the only one prepared for the complete mind-fuck in store. The three men with you walk out dazed, eyes glossed over as they digest the movie.  
“That was awesome,” Dustin muses as the four of you walk toward the front. You simply nod again. 
“I know. It’s genius,” You state. 
“New favorite movie, for sure,” Eddie comments. 
“I told you it was great! It’s an instant classic.”  
“I mean, Anthony Hopkins… He’s just…” 
“Fucking fantastic, is what he is!” Gareth exclaims. “And Buffalo Bill!” 
“It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!” Dustin imitates, making you all laugh as you push through the front doors.  
“Hey, we’re gonna go to the diner to get some food, you guys wanna come?” Eddie offers.  
“Nah, I’ve got work early in the morning, thanks though,” Dustin says.  
“Yeah, and I’ve gotta get home to Nicole. Maybe next time?”  
“Yeah, for sure! Here, take my number and we can schedule a lunch together!” You hand both Gareth and Dustin card from your purse and bid them all goodbye, then you turn to Eddie.  
“Okay, I’ll meet you there?” Eddie nods. 
“Yeah, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” You hug, even though you’re not saying goodbye, and you laugh as you pull away. 
“See you in a few.” You walk to your car and get in the driver’s seat, backing out of the space and pulling out of the lot. You see Eddie’s car pull in the parking lot for the diner just before you do, and you pull into the space next to him and get out to go inside to meet him. 
“Hey! Fancy seeing you here.” You laugh, pulling Eddie’s attention to you. He smiles, hands in his pockets as he turns to you. 
“Yeah, it’s like we planned it or something!” He takes a step towards you, that sweet, goofy smile you’ve always adored dancing on his lips. “You ready to sit?” He motions with his head to a booth in the corner. The usual booth that the three of you always used to sit at. You nod, remembering all of the good times this place held with a smile as you walk over and sit down across from each other. 
A couple of minutes later, a waitress comes over to greet you. “Hi guys, I’m Tina. Can I get you started with something to drink?” She looks a bit younger than you two, maybe still in high school.  
“Yeah, I’ll have a coke, please,” Eddie says, looking up from the menu. The waitress writes it on her pad and looks to you.  
“I’ll just have a water,” She nods and writes again.  
“Are you ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?” You and Eddie look to each other, when you see Eddie shrug slightly, you turn back to Tina. 
“Just a couple minutes please,” She gives a tired smile as she nods again and turns to go get your drinks. The next couple of seconds are silent as you and Eddie look over your menus. 
“Wanna split some cheese fries?” Eddie asks, an eyebrow quirked playfully as if getting cheese fries was a risky activity. You chuckle and contemplate, lips pressing together as you hum in thought. 
“That sounds good…” You begin as you narrow your eyes devilishly. “But you know what could be better?” You lean in slightly. 
“What could be better than cheese fries?” Eddie rolls his eyes.  
“Chili cheese fries!” You exclaim. Eddie nods solemnly. 
“I knew I kept you around for a reason!” You reach across the table to smack Eddie with the menu lightly, both of you laughing. 
“I thought you said I was your best friend!” You feign hurt across your face, only thinly veiling the ever-growing smile you wear. 
“Yeah! Because who else would condone eating cheese fries at 10:30 at night?!” Eddie rolls his eyes like it’s obvious. You’ve missed this. You didn’t have many friends in Chicago. Most of the people you had classes with were stuffy, uppity people from rich families. You never vibed with those sorts of people. You’ve always preferred the outcasts, having been one yourself in most of your formative years. You had a couple of casual friends, but nothing comparing to the deep bond you share with Eddie, and what you once shared with Y/BFF/N. 
Tina comes back as your laughter wanes, a light smile on her face, probably amused by the antics between you and Eddie. “Alright, are we ready to order now?” You turn to her and nod, glancing back at the menu for the name of the burger you’re wanting.  
“I think I’m gonna do the Bacon Cheeseburger Royale, with no tomato, please, and we’re gonna split an order of chili cheese fries.”  
“Okay, great choice. And for you, sir?” She turns to Eddie. 
“I’ll do the Grilled Chicken Sandwich, and I’d also like bacon on mine, please.” Eddie grabs both of your menus to hand back to the waitress.  
“Alright, and will that be on one check?” 
“Yes!” You interject as Eddie begins answering. “I’ll take it.” Tina nods and turns to go put in your orders. 
“You don’t have to buy me dinner!” Eddie says. You roll your eyes exaggeratedly. 
“You didn’t have to buy my movie ticket! You can get dinner next time, okay?” You reason, smiling at Eddie across the table. He shakes his head lightly, but gives it up.  
“Alright, deal.” You shake on it and keep talking until the food comes, the conversation never slowing as you laugh together. 
“Oh, do you remember Steve?” Eddie asks, stuffing his mouth with a couple of fries. You roll your eyes up, thinking, until his picture pops into your head. 
“Harrington? Yeah, what about him?”  
“I talk to him every once in a while. He just got his degree in Education. Guess where he works now!” You think back on Steve, not the most studious person, you recall, but a nice enough guy. You mainly remember how attractive you and the whole of Hawkins thought he was. Man, he’s gonna have a rough time with his female students. 
“Hawkins High, I’m guessing? Jesus... Doesn’t that man have enough ego without being fawned over by a bunch of hormonal teenagers?” You chuckle at the thought, cheerleaders asking for special “extra credit” when they fall behind in his class. Poor guy, he’s gonna have to bathe in hand sanitizer just to keep the creepy off.  
“Yeah, but he seems to really like it. At least the kids listen to him for the most part. God knows that all of high school is a popularity contest. I guess it’s true even for the teachers.” Eddie says.  
“I suppose so. I heard from my parents that the Wheeler girl... Nancy, right? I heard she’s working for NBC now. My parents are friends with her parents.” 
“Yeah, and Mike, her brother, you remember him? He’s at CalTech. Sends me a postcard every once in a while. He was a little shit in high school but he and that girl he’s with seem to be happy.” You think back and remember the girl vaguely. You only ever saw her once or twice but Mike never seemed to stop talking about her.  
“Isn’t she his cousin or something?” You squint your eyes, trying to remember as Eddie laughs out loud across from you.  
“Fuck no! That was just a rumor going around for a while before everyone believed he had a girlfriend!” You chuckle now, slightly embarrassed at the false memory. 
“Oh, oops!” Eddie laughs harder as a bubble of laughter bursts from your mouth to accompany his and as you inhale, you snort a bit, which makes Eddie, and then you, laugh even harder. You’re practically in tears by the time the food’s gone, stomachs tense, face aching from all the fun you’re having.  
The bill gets brought out, and after you pay, you and Eddie walk out to the parking lot together, still joking about everything under the sun. He walks you to your car, and you turn to him, wrapping your arms around his slender frame in a hug. “This was so much fun. Thanks for inviting me out,” Eddie reciprocates, bringing his arms around you and squeezing, laying his cheek on the top of your head.  
“Don’t mention it. Now that you’re back, I’m gonna be dragging you out to everything!” He jokes. “You’re gonna get sick of seeing me.” You scrunch your nose and shake your head as you part. 
“I’ll never get sick of seeing you, Munson. You’re probably the best thing about this place.” You confess, smiling sweetly. Eddie scoffs, rolling his eyes dramatically and you almost swear you see a tinge of pink sweep across his cheeks as he smiles. 
“Nah, no way. You might be, though.” He leans in for another quick hug, and you get a shock as you feel his lips press briefly to your cheek. It’s not the first time he’s kissed you in this friendly fashion, but it feels different all the same. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so long. Still, the warmth of his lips on your face for that brief moment makes your heart skip an unexpected beat. “Alright, I’ll let you go now,” he says, smiling out of the corner of his mouth. You nod, trying to calm the beating in your chest as you say your goodbyes. 
“Okay. I’ll see you Saturday at my parents’ though, right?” He nods as he remembers. 
“Yeah, definitely. I will be there.”  
“Okay then, goodnight. I’ll see you soon.” You start to turn to get into your car. 
“Yeah, see you soon. Goodnight, Y/N.”  
With that, you get in and close the door, sticking the key in the ignition. You can still feel the spot Eddie kissed, and you let out a deep breath. “Well, that’s new,” You mutter to yourself, putting the car in reverse. It’s nothing, you think. You just didn’t expect it. It doesn’t mean anything. You keep trying to convince yourself as you drive home for the night. 
@corrodedcoffincumslut @haylaansmi @bebe07011
67 notes · View notes
will-iam-graham · 8 months
Text
youtube
I'm looking down the hole you're looking up at me You're cold and tired, that is easy to see Lower the rope to you, a bucket and a light Your membrane will be soft and smooth And your heart will be mine
It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again Yes, Precious, it gets the hose
Ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh-ooh
The look inside your eyes drives me from control Evoking visions of my favorite casserole And if I eat your heart, I'll also bite your soul And when I'm done with that, I'll use your skull as a bowl
It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again It gets the hose
It puts the lotion in the basket It puts the lotion in the basket It puts the lotion in the basket Yes, it does, put the lotion in the basket Put the lotion in the basket Put the lotion in the basket now Put the lotion in the basket now And it does
Ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh-ooh
The night is very cold, I'm feeling kind of weak I think I'll make myself a cap from your right buttocks cheek And then, I will go walking with my little dog And then, I'll bury you underneath the lawn
It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again It rubs the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again Yes, it does, Precious
It puts the lotion in the basket Bitch, put the lotion in the basket Oh, put the lotion in the fucking basket Bitch, put the lotion in the basket
Ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh-ooh
6 notes · View notes
ask-team-bucciarati · 1 month
Note
DEAR MISTA,
IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN, OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.
????????
-Mista
3 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again... happy valentines day people...
3 notes · View notes
deada55 · 8 months
Text
The Clicking of the Chain (The Silence of the Lambs Parody) (#2 of 2)
for kloktober day 12: Favorite villain
Here's another installment, featuring someone I feel is underrepresented in mtl content: the Metal Masked Assassin.
“It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does whenever it’s told.”
At the bottom of a rough concrete pit, there was a man the height of a refrigerator shaking in a dingy sweatsuit, staring up into the face of a man whose eyes and nose were obscured by a metal plate. The work lights that hung from the rafters couldn’t light the hole, and the plastic toilet bucket’s volatility couldn’t circulate out. The air in the hole was thick and sour… gel air fresheners covered it above. Occasionally, when buckets of lotion or water were sent up and down, Nathan could smell something like pine or cherries over his own filth. He clutched that bottle of Jergens like a kid holding a blankie.
“My parents will give you whatever you want, you name it! Just ask! You want money? You-”
“Rub it in!”
A shivering black and brown chihuahua crested climbed onto the man’s foot. When it was picked up, it growled like it was rabid and tensed up like a shrimp to try and bite the hands that held it, but once it was at it’s owners chest, it started licking the air and thrashing its head and tail like it was having a seizure. When the man pointed, the dog glanced down into the hole before resuming it’s jubilant tremors.
“Yes… It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”
Nathan ducked and slopped some into his hand before rubbing it as far past his shoulder blade as he could reach. “Uh, you know, we won’t press charges. It’s only been a couple of days and-”
“No. Just one day.”
“That’s it? Fuck- Uh, well… My dad’s really important, he’ll pay you no questions asked. And whatever gay little shit you want he’ll get it, ok? He’ll do it-” The masked man rolled his eyes and threw down a bucket with a handheld light tied to the rope. The clang it made against the side of the hole made Nathan jump… His hair almost came unstuck from the back of his neck when he made out browned handprints on the walls. A fingernail, no, a fingertip was lodged between two stones. The sound of his own scream volleying in the shadows was the most comforting sensation he could imagine.
What a loudmouth! The man in the mask jerked the rope and made the light and the bucket clack against the walls and only made the din louder.
“He’ll give you anything! Call him, let me talk to ‘em, I don’t know! You want money? Ten thousand? You can have it! Twenty? Thirty? Thirty… thirty-five? Call him, fuck! Just call my fucking dad! I…”
“Put it in the basket!”
“Call him! What do you want!? Call him! Call my fuckin’ dad!” He groaned and gagged and kept on crying like a stuck pig on a spike. “Just call him, asshole! I want my dad!”
“Put it back!”
“No!” The sobbing got less entertaining by the second.
“Put it in the fucking basket!” 
He flung it in there and turned his back, his fingers digging and searching through his hair, scratching. “What do you want? Just… Tell me! I want to go home!”
The bucket was pulled up and the rope was coiled. The man stood after he set it aside, and his own “anguished” cries rose above Nathan, mocking and taunting, with the playful lilt of a smile, one growling heave after the other.
3 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Is it just me or does the puppet crème bit have real “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again” vibes
17 notes · View notes
okaaay-mice · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
"IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN, OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!"
14 notes · View notes
thespoonlagoon · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"
Silence of the Lambs' Buffalo Bill inspired Bath & Shower massaging exfoliator brush. Click here
--
Follow me for more kitchen/ pop culture mashups.
Have an excellent rest of your day!
3 notes · View notes
pearlswine · 1 year
Text
it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
2 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
0 notes
ambienvisions77039 · 3 years
Text
"It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
Yes, precious, it gets the hose
Oooooooh, oooooooh
The night is very cold
I'm feeling kind of weak
I think I'll make myself a cap from your right buttocks cheek
And then I will go walking with my little dog
And then I'll bury you underneath the lawn"
0 notes
giographixnola · 7 years
Photo
Tumblr media
That’s not how I remember this.
12 notes · View notes
cutthroat-coquette · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…
137 notes · View notes
willwrite4mora · 3 years
Text
Zhongli x Reader: Eggplant (Modern!AU)
Warnings: vulgar language
"I just don't know how to get him to notice I like him," you spoke over the phone to your friend Hu Tao. You were sitting at the bottom of a tall laundry hamper and a small basket was lowered to you on a bit of rope. You looked up at Qiqi, who was sitting on a table next to the hamper, looking down at you.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin," she said flatly. She wanted to play Silence of the Lambs with you today. Qiqi was the daughter of your local pharmacist, Baizhu. You were babysitting her today.
"Give me a moment," you quickly said to Hu Tao, before putting your phone down. "Please, my family will pay however much you want," you pleaded with Qiqi.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
"Okay, okay." You grabbed the bottle of lotion from the basket and rubbed some into your hands.
Once you were done, Qiqi told you, "it places the lotion in the basket."
"Please, I want to see my mommy."
"Put the fucking lotion in the basket."
You quickly threw the bottle back into the basket and Qiqi hauled it back up. You picked up your phone again to continue your conversation.
"What the hell are you doing?" Hu Tao asked confused.
"We're playing Silence of the Lambs," you answered.
"Oh, you're babysitting Qiqi again? Didn't you say you found her scary?"
"Yeah," you admitted. She really was a scary child. Once, she rotated her head 360 degrees and told you that your mother sucks cocks in hell. "But mister Baizhu pays mad money for babysitting. It's better than working at Burger King." You shrugged, even though she wouldn't be able to see it through the phone.
"That's fair," she agreed. "But back to your issue with Zhongli."
You were madly in love with your classmate in history. You and Zhongli always paired up together for assignments. He was very good at the subject. You've been trying to drop hints that you're into him like crazy, but he didn't seem to notice.
"I think you need to be more direct with him," Hu Tao advised. You hummed in response, thinking that over.
"But what if that scares him off?" you wondered.
"Okay, then not too direct," she corrected. "But still, you need to be more clear with him."
"Okay, I'll try."
"Let me know how it goes."
"I will. Thank you." And with that you hung up.
You heard Qiqi cough. That was your cue to start screaming. You yelled up at her without trying too hard, but it seemed to have done the job as she screamed back at you with her monotone voice.
You grabbed your phone and went to text Zhongli. You had his number mainly to discuss assignments. You constructed your text, trying to be direct with him.
"I want your 🍆"
You blushed, thinking for a bit if this would do the trick. It was direct. Really direct. But you really wanted him to finally make a move. You sent it.
You were nervous for how he would react. You waited for a few seconds and you already got the notification that he got your message. You were sweating as you saw that he was typing. Then came his response.
"That is alright. Dinner at my place tonight?"
You deadpanned. Did it work? He wanted you to come over and get his D? You blushed. Your hearts sped its pace. You were getting boned by your crush tonight.
You stood up from the hamper and picked Qiqi up from her spot on the table.
"Can we watch Cabin in the Woods?" she asked innocently.
"Sure," you agreed, getting ready to put on the horror film for the last hour or so of your babysitting shift.
Once you were done babysitting, you had made sure to dress yourself nicely for your date with Zhongli. You stood at his front door and knocked.
After a few seconds, Zhongli opened the door. He wore an apron over his clothing. "Ah, Y/N, please come in." He stepped out of your way to let you walk through the door. "I think you'll quite like what I have in store for you," he said proudly. Man, he must really be about to give you the dicking down of your life.
You blushed as you walked through the door. You took off your shoes and entered the dining room. "Please, have a seat," he said, waving to the dining table. There were two chairs and two empty plates were already set. "I'll go get the food." He left to the kitchen and you took a seat. You poured yourself a glass of water from the tumbler that stood in the middle of the table.
Zhongli came back into the room with a large plate. The contents were so hot that they were still steaming. He placed the pot in the middle of the table. It was steamed eggplant. The spices filled the room with their delicious smell.
"You said you were craving aubergine," Zhongli started as he took the seat in front of you. He poured himself a glass of water as well. "Luckily I know a few good recipes. I hope you enjoy!"
... This was the eggplant he wanted to give you? You felt your stomach drop in disappointment.
"Zhongli," you started hesitantly. "I think you misunderstood..."
He jolted in shock. "Did you want me to make you something else?" he asked, his tone slightly panicked.
"No, I mean..." you mumbled, not quite sure what to say. "I wanted you to know that I like you."
"I like you too," he answered. "You're one of the most enjoyable assignment partners I ever had the pleasure to work with."
You cringed. He still didn't understand. "No, I meant romantically," you corrected him.
He looked a bit confused. "Romantically?" He repeated.
"I've had a crush on you for a while," you tried to clear up. "I want to date you. I want to be your girlfriend," you practically spelled it out for him.
Zhongli paused a bit, his cheeks turning slightly red. "I see..." he said thoughtfully. He nodded to himself and looked you into your eyes. "I accept your feelings. I like you as well. Romantically, that is."
You let out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god."
"Will you finally have my aubergine now?" Zhongli asked.
You blushed at the implication of that sentence. "Yes!" you said enthusiastically, ready for his eggplant inside you.
"Good," he answered and he scooped the aubergine dish onto your plate. You really needed to get more direct with him from now on.
138 notes · View notes
itsthemysterykids · 2 years
Note
We've had some Encanto scenes, can we get some from other awesome movies?
Neil: *Stuck in a well* HELP ME!
Coraline: It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
Norman: … I see dead people.
Wybie: *On the phone* I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career… In mechanics. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my friends go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.
Gideon: … *High voice* Okay, bye!
Mabel: Uh-oh.
Lili: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Mabel: Yep.
Lili: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Mabel: Most likely.
Lili: … Bring it on.
Wybie: *Looks out the window* Oh, look! Another glorious morning!… Makes me sick.
Lili: Don't worry about always coming in second, Aquato.
Raz: You know everything they say about you is wrong, Lili. You actually do have a sense of humor.
Wybie: That there is Neil Downe. He is one of the dumbest guys you will ever meet. Jonesy sat next to him in English last year.
Coraline: He asked me how to spell 'orange'.
Wybie: That tall one, that's Norman Babcock.
Coraline: He’s super rich because his dad invented toaster strudels.
Wybie: Norman is in everybody's business. He knows everything about everyone.
Coraline: That's why his hair is so big. It's full of secrets.
Wybie: And evil takes a human form in Raz Aquato. Don't get me wrong, he may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing ass faced shit-bag but in reality, he’s so much more than that.
Coraline: He’s the Queen Bee, the Star. Those other two are just his little workers.
Coraline: Say crack again!
Wybie: Crack! *He and Coraline walk away*
Raz: Why were you talking to Wybie Lovat?
Dipper: I don't know, I mean, he’s so weird, he just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Raz: He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Wybie Lovat. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first girlfriend Lili who was totally gorgeous but then she moved to Indiana, and Wybie was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Lili, he’d be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-guys pool party, I was like, "Wybie, I can't invite you, because I think you're gay." I mean I couldn't have a gay dude at my party. There were gonna be guys there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? He was a GAY. So then his grandma called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so dumb. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for high school, his hair was shorter and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on crack.
Wybie: *Reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book* ‘Wybie Lovat: Homo.’ Oh, that’s original!
Coraline: *reading the entry on herself from the Burn Book* ‘Too gay to function?!’
Wybie: That's only okay when I say it!
16 notes · View notes