Books! The ongoing project I've had half-finished since March continues to thwart me, so I want to show off a project from May that turned out incredibly well. I'm extremely proud of these!
Ta-da! Look at my creations! Are they not beautiful?? This is a set of two related works, From the Deep and Into the Deep. They are by the same author, @worse0mens, and they share a lot of worldbuilding but are not a series and can be read independently. They are siren AUs with very solid characterization, both for everyone's favorite main characters (three guesses who I mean; this is a Good Omens work) and for the secondaries as well (Eve in Into the Deep is a particular favorite for me). The worldbuilding is another star; I would read non-fanwork originals in this universe and that's not something I usually say.
More photos and process talk under the cut! I had to make a lot of adjustments to the design while it was a work in progress, so this post got even longer than usual.
Since these are so closely related even without being a series I really wanted to make them look like a set, and I honestly think I nailed that. I found the pale blue scale-patterned paper on ChibiJay before I even started the typeset and knew it would be perfect if I could match it in black, given that those colors are so heavily associated with our two viewpoint characters. The original plan was to have one in all blue and one in all black, but that blue paper was kind of a nightmare for color-matching. It clashed horribly with the blue book cloth, so I switched that to the black book, and then it also clashed with the black cloth I had chosen. So it got charcoal in the end, and it ended up coming together quite well. The titles are HTV, first time using that on cloth, and that also did not go well. It very much did not want to stick, took more than twice as long as it should have to press, and I still ended up with some wrinkling. Further experiments are needed, I think. It was worth it in the end, though--colors and fonts are perfect, and I like the vertical orientation even more than I thought I would.
Endpapers are solid brown on both books. Another nightmare of color matching. Black is easy! Everything looks good! But that blue was really stubborn about what I could match it to, and this was the only paper that I could find that looked good with both. It's ludicrously thick and was hard to trim even with my plow. Endbands and bookmark are solid black and solid blue respectively, the only easy match in the entire project. Even then, I had originally wanted a gold bookmark on both, to match the gold lines on the covers, but I couldn't find one that was thin enough. Everything in the right colors was wider than the spines. I was very glad to find that blue ribbon, and it was an exact match for some endbands I got ages ago as part of a variety pack. Stroke of luck, there.
Interiors. As I said above, I wanted them to look like a set, so the same fonts, sizing, and text ornaments are used throughout both copies. All the images came from rawpixel, all I did was resize them and I think adjust the color. I was originally planning a much simpler look for these, and the typeset reflects that sort of stripped-down look; there are fewer text ornaments than I normally use, and the title fonts are less curly and ornate than my usual. The plain endpapers were also chosen with that thought in mind, but the covers turned out way more ornate than I thought when I first pictured them in my head. I don't think the insides match the outsides terribly well, but both came out so nicely that I don't mind. I could never regret those covers, they are too gorgeous for that.
Top view on both books. I had some issues with the boards warping on this project, which you can see in the first two pictures. The one on the left is how it looks normally, and you can see that the boards curve away from the text block in the middle, leaving a gap. If you squeeze the book (middle image) this gap goes away. It's present in both books, though more visible on the blue one. I think I made an error with the grain direction, possibly in the endpapers. Or the very heavy endpapers just have more pull to them than the much lighter chiyogami on the outside, and it can't compensate. Hopefully it won't lead to any structural issues further down the line. It's just less than ideal, is all.
I've toyed with the idea of making a slipcase for these. They're already a set, but they could be a BOXED set. Very fancy. I've never done boxes before though, so I'm a bit intimidated. I may revisit them someday to do that.
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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thinking about the way shadowheart, lae'zel and minthara deal with breaking away from a god/god-like figure they've dedicated their lives to. shadowheart immediately latches onto rescuing her parents as her new 'mission'. lae'zel immediately dedicates herself to freeing orpheus with the vigor she served vlaakith. minthara fixates on obtaining the power to make sure she's never controlled again.
its like. breaking away from gods/god-like figures leaves a void to fill. they're trying to fill it, and trying to choose what they fill it with. and they know that's what they're doing, in some ways, maybe to avoid the enormity of what it means to have broken away. maybe to avoid working out what they'll do as individuals. shadowheart doesnt know her parents, and they dont know her anymore, but she has to save them. you can ask lae'zel why she won't focus on herself, and she acknowledges there's no time for that. not yet. minthara wants you to use the power of the brain, but has dialogue/approval when you speak to ravenguard and she realizes hes still in there beneath the tadpoles influence, just like she was.
'my deference to him is a habit that will die hard, i fear'. minthara still calls the elder brain the absolute, even after she knows the truth. lae'zel still calls out to vlaakith in battle. shadowheart still wears the symbol of shar in her hair after dyeing it. indoctrination/ingrained beliefs are hard to break.
they've broken away from what was controlling their lives. they're free. they've lost everything. shadowheart can save her parents and but will always have that mark. lae'zel has been declared a traitor and will be hunted until vlaakith is overthrown. minthara can never go home, and would be executed if she tried.
they've broken away. they've lost everything. they're struggling with what that means. they're free. they wouldn't have it any other way.
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that's just a random thought that has popped in my head while trying to fall asleep, but... thinking about how tenma siblings' childhood and middle school days were filled with the fear of uncertainty of the next day, but they both probably experienced it so differently...
saki's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the night — but she wasn't afraid of nightmares, of the dark or anything like that. it was not what's waiting on the other side of the dark room what was scary to her, it was what was going to happen to her that was truly frightening her so much. her days, in middle school especially, were always the same and repetitive, so she did not have to be scared of the well-known routine. but as soon as the night was coming, as soon as she had to close her eyes, she could feel this unpleasant, cold feeling creeping onto her weak body, she could hear this scary voice sound in the back of her head: what if she doesn't wake up tomorrow? what if this night is her last? how can she rest easy, when tomorrow is so uncertain?
tsukasa's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the morning — he was the privileged one, after all. nights weren't scary for him, because he didn't have to be afraid of not waking up and wasting his youth forever. the night coming was just a sign of another day coming to an end and that was a good thing, because tomorrow surely will be better, right? the morning, however, was a bridge that was connecting the night with the next day; it was these few simple moments after he regains his consciousness that were going to determine this day, and he was afraid of them, he could feel this in his whole body, he could hear it deep down in his mind: is saki going to be okay today, will his family finally be happy at least for these few hours? are the things going to spiral down and will everything be even worse than it already is? will saki smile, or will saki cry once again? how can he feel rested, when today is so uncertain?
but now, they don't have to be afraid anymore. the uncertainty isn't as bad anymore.
because the night means that another wonderful day has come to an end, and the morning means that today will surely be a hopeful day full of smiles.
and they're both aware of it.
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k so that poll about where Katniss and Peeta live once they're together is going around and I'm not here to tell anyone their headcanon is wrong but I keep seeing one thing in some tags that bothers me and that's the idea that Peeta's house doesn't have any ghosts, and the implication that Katniss is suffering the loss of Prim more than Peeta is suffering the loss of his family. His entire family.
I know his family didn't live with him, I know he had a bad relationship with his mom and his relationship with the rest of his family is a mystery, but that doesn't mean his house doesn't have ghosts. We don't know exactly what happened there besides the fact that he lived alone. His brothers could have come by to cheer him up, bringing cards to play poker and slap jack. He and his dad could have worked on new baking recipes in his kitchen. And look, even abusive parents aren't always terrible, and maybe his mom was trying to repair their relationship when he got back. We just don't know! And even if no one ever stepped a foot in his house the whole time, that is a whole other ghost--a feeling that he was never home, a house of his nightmares and pain and loneliness following returning from the Games.
I get that Katniss's loss was devastating and she externally reacts to it more than Peeta, who tries to hide the effect of his trauma, and I understand the logic that Peeta's house is easier or he would stuff down the pain to ease Katniss's, but he has ghosts in his house, too.
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