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#it is just not always easy to say
snek-panini · 11 months
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Books! The ongoing project I've had half-finished since March continues to thwart me, so I want to show off a project from May that turned out incredibly well. I'm extremely proud of these!
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Ta-da! Look at my creations! Are they not beautiful?? This is a set of two related works, From the Deep and Into the Deep. They are by the same author, @worse0mens, and they share a lot of worldbuilding but are not a series and can be read independently. They are siren AUs with very solid characterization, both for everyone's favorite main characters (three guesses who I mean; this is a Good Omens work) and for the secondaries as well (Eve in Into the Deep is a particular favorite for me). The worldbuilding is another star; I would read non-fanwork originals in this universe and that's not something I usually say.
More photos and process talk under the cut! I had to make a lot of adjustments to the design while it was a work in progress, so this post got even longer than usual.
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Since these are so closely related even without being a series I really wanted to make them look like a set, and I honestly think I nailed that. I found the pale blue scale-patterned paper on ChibiJay before I even started the typeset and knew it would be perfect if I could match it in black, given that those colors are so heavily associated with our two viewpoint characters. The original plan was to have one in all blue and one in all black, but that blue paper was kind of a nightmare for color-matching. It clashed horribly with the blue book cloth, so I switched that to the black book, and then it also clashed with the black cloth I had chosen. So it got charcoal in the end, and it ended up coming together quite well. The titles are HTV, first time using that on cloth, and that also did not go well. It very much did not want to stick, took more than twice as long as it should have to press, and I still ended up with some wrinkling. Further experiments are needed, I think. It was worth it in the end, though--colors and fonts are perfect, and I like the vertical orientation even more than I thought I would.
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Endpapers are solid brown on both books. Another nightmare of color matching. Black is easy! Everything looks good! But that blue was really stubborn about what I could match it to, and this was the only paper that I could find that looked good with both. It's ludicrously thick and was hard to trim even with my plow. Endbands and bookmark are solid black and solid blue respectively, the only easy match in the entire project. Even then, I had originally wanted a gold bookmark on both, to match the gold lines on the covers, but I couldn't find one that was thin enough. Everything in the right colors was wider than the spines. I was very glad to find that blue ribbon, and it was an exact match for some endbands I got ages ago as part of a variety pack. Stroke of luck, there.
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Interiors. As I said above, I wanted them to look like a set, so the same fonts, sizing, and text ornaments are used throughout both copies. All the images came from rawpixel, all I did was resize them and I think adjust the color. I was originally planning a much simpler look for these, and the typeset reflects that sort of stripped-down look; there are fewer text ornaments than I normally use, and the title fonts are less curly and ornate than my usual. The plain endpapers were also chosen with that thought in mind, but the covers turned out way more ornate than I thought when I first pictured them in my head. I don't think the insides match the outsides terribly well, but both came out so nicely that I don't mind. I could never regret those covers, they are too gorgeous for that.
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Top view on both books. I had some issues with the boards warping on this project, which you can see in the first two pictures. The one on the left is how it looks normally, and you can see that the boards curve away from the text block in the middle, leaving a gap. If you squeeze the book (middle image) this gap goes away. It's present in both books, though more visible on the blue one. I think I made an error with the grain direction, possibly in the endpapers. Or the very heavy endpapers just have more pull to them than the much lighter chiyogami on the outside, and it can't compensate. Hopefully it won't lead to any structural issues further down the line. It's just less than ideal, is all.
I've toyed with the idea of making a slipcase for these. They're already a set, but they could be a BOXED set. Very fancy. I've never done boxes before though, so I'm a bit intimidated. I may revisit them someday to do that.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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autisticandroids · 9 months
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
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(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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scintillyyy · 2 months
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can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.
#dick and tim#anyways trust me when i say that none of this is meant in a negative way because this is what i Like about them lmao#forever thinking of the M/F fight where dick expects that tim will go alone with his line of thinking just because he says so#and is shocked when tim doesn't and instead has his own thoughts and feelings abt the matter#and babs has to tell him that tim isn't him & had a fundamentally different experience to him#it's like hmmm very realistic to me#the way they do this to each other in a way that almost is depersonalizing but like isn't actually#it's more just that they understand each other so well most of the time that it's easy to forget that they're their own person#with their own thoughts and feelings#like hm. there is something very realistically siblings about it in that#older siblings do tend to try and dominate the relationship with their thoughts and feelings because#their first memories are of being expected to lead their sibling and the sibling usually comes at a time when the older sib is v possessive#so the older sibling conceives the younger sibling as belonging to them and being kind of a hm extension of them vs their own person#meanwhile the younger sibling has no knowledge of a life where the older sibling doesn't exist#and the younger sibling's experience is that of observation of the older sibling from basically the very first day of life#so the younger sibling will often see and perceive the older sibling in very interesting ways#they're always learning something with thay observation good or bad#and thus probably develop more instrinsic understanding than even the parents do#and conflict comes because each is their own person but it's hard to see them that way sometimes#anyways there's also another thread where for dick it's hard to conceptualize tim's family of origin as real compared to them#but that's like mainly headcanon just know i'm right and it's interesting
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natjennie · 5 months
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I love that no matter how many fucking times alison gestures to exactly where the ghosts are mike will still look up in the air for them. the fact that he makes an attempt to interact directly with them instead of just always looking to alison is so charming. but also adhd king.
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beskarfrog · 9 months
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dailyloopdeloop · 5 days
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DAY 75: onehat
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat act 6 spoilers#twohat spoilers#isat spoilers#yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me#..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree?#i always imagined the evening for some reason.#um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it#do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them#is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative.#they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended#that's it.#i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them#i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all#the tree is their grave.#something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse#and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority#experience especially playing blind.#to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection#i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop#very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation#self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch#Is this anything i dont know that it is#idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs#i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess?#it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger#but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think
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unexpectedbrickattack · 8 months
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experimentin w shit heehee
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stromer · 2 months
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call me crazy... but i think hockey belongs in the desert idk
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frenchublog · 4 months
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how do you have the energy/time to colour in every piece you do? especially so detailed?
way too much turkish coffee
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foxx-queen · 8 months
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thinking about the way shadowheart, lae'zel and minthara deal with breaking away from a god/god-like figure they've dedicated their lives to. shadowheart immediately latches onto rescuing her parents as her new 'mission'. lae'zel immediately dedicates herself to freeing orpheus with the vigor she served vlaakith. minthara fixates on obtaining the power to make sure she's never controlled again.
its like. breaking away from gods/god-like figures leaves a void to fill. they're trying to fill it, and trying to choose what they fill it with. and they know that's what they're doing, in some ways, maybe to avoid the enormity of what it means to have broken away. maybe to avoid working out what they'll do as individuals. shadowheart doesnt know her parents, and they dont know her anymore, but she has to save them. you can ask lae'zel why she won't focus on herself, and she acknowledges there's no time for that. not yet. minthara wants you to use the power of the brain, but has dialogue/approval when you speak to ravenguard and she realizes hes still in there beneath the tadpoles influence, just like she was.
'my deference to him is a habit that will die hard, i fear'. minthara still calls the elder brain the absolute, even after she knows the truth. lae'zel still calls out to vlaakith in battle. shadowheart still wears the symbol of shar in her hair after dyeing it. indoctrination/ingrained beliefs are hard to break.
they've broken away from what was controlling their lives. they're free. they've lost everything. shadowheart can save her parents and but will always have that mark. lae'zel has been declared a traitor and will be hunted until vlaakith is overthrown. minthara can never go home, and would be executed if she tried.
they've broken away. they've lost everything. they're struggling with what that means. they're free. they wouldn't have it any other way.
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adhdtsukasa · 6 days
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that's just a random thought that has popped in my head while trying to fall asleep, but... thinking about how tenma siblings' childhood and middle school days were filled with the fear of uncertainty of the next day, but they both probably experienced it so differently...
saki's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the night — but she wasn't afraid of nightmares, of the dark or anything like that. it was not what's waiting on the other side of the dark room what was scary to her, it was what was going to happen to her that was truly frightening her so much. her days, in middle school especially, were always the same and repetitive, so she did not have to be scared of the well-known routine. but as soon as the night was coming, as soon as she had to close her eyes, she could feel this unpleasant, cold feeling creeping onto her weak body, she could hear this scary voice sound in the back of her head: what if she doesn't wake up tomorrow? what if this night is her last? how can she rest easy, when tomorrow is so uncertain?
tsukasa's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the morning — he was the privileged one, after all. nights weren't scary for him, because he didn't have to be afraid of not waking up and wasting his youth forever. the night coming was just a sign of another day coming to an end and that was a good thing, because tomorrow surely will be better, right? the morning, however, was a bridge that was connecting the night with the next day; it was these few simple moments after he regains his consciousness that were going to determine this day, and he was afraid of them, he could feel this in his whole body, he could hear it deep down in his mind: is saki going to be okay today, will his family finally be happy at least for these few hours? are the things going to spiral down and will everything be even worse than it already is? will saki smile, or will saki cry once again? how can he feel rested, when today is so uncertain?
but now, they don't have to be afraid anymore. the uncertainty isn't as bad anymore.
because the night means that another wonderful day has come to an end, and the morning means that today will surely be a hopeful day full of smiles.
and they're both aware of it.
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thesweetnessofspring · 9 months
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k so that poll about where Katniss and Peeta live once they're together is going around and I'm not here to tell anyone their headcanon is wrong but I keep seeing one thing in some tags that bothers me and that's the idea that Peeta's house doesn't have any ghosts, and the implication that Katniss is suffering the loss of Prim more than Peeta is suffering the loss of his family. His entire family.
I know his family didn't live with him, I know he had a bad relationship with his mom and his relationship with the rest of his family is a mystery, but that doesn't mean his house doesn't have ghosts. We don't know exactly what happened there besides the fact that he lived alone. His brothers could have come by to cheer him up, bringing cards to play poker and slap jack. He and his dad could have worked on new baking recipes in his kitchen. And look, even abusive parents aren't always terrible, and maybe his mom was trying to repair their relationship when he got back. We just don't know! And even if no one ever stepped a foot in his house the whole time, that is a whole other ghost--a feeling that he was never home, a house of his nightmares and pain and loneliness following returning from the Games.
I get that Katniss's loss was devastating and she externally reacts to it more than Peeta, who tries to hide the effect of his trauma, and I understand the logic that Peeta's house is easier or he would stuff down the pain to ease Katniss's, but he has ghosts in his house, too.
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tswwwit · 2 months
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How would bill feel if dipper reincarnated as an incubus?
Thrilled. Delighted. Tickled pink! Partly because hey! That's a great look for him! Inhuman and demonic and oh-so-cute. Another part because of all the demonic subtypes he could end up as, this one has to be the most ironic, a bit of him thrilled just because it's good to see him again -
And of course, a Big Ol' Chunk of delight for the other obvious reason.
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vigilskeep · 11 months
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i need to wynnepost. somebody has to
#its crazy how people will assume she is all the tropes she subverts and then ignore her#also how sympathy for circle mages’ indoctrination only lasts until they get old i guess and then fuck them#because its not as if they were ever a terrified child who’d never had anything better than a single templar’s mildest kindness and any kind#of home even if it was the tower#so an orphan kid who had no memory of anything but scurrying between farmsteads and hiding in barns#didnt want to leave. what a shock. you guys dont get the place comfort has in keeping circle mages complicit#so it’s violent and terrible and you never have privacy and your children get murdered and you’re always watched and hated#its also a warm bed and community and a chance to succeed#do you honestly think every kid from fucking THEDAS knows theres anything better out there#that doesnt make the circle good. it makes it horrific that they prey on vulnerable kids to teach them the world hates them#and only the circle is ‘safe’#i just think there should be some sympathy for those kids and what they grow up into#its easy for the player to walk in and say their character would hate the circle and never have listened to the templars#its easy for say an amell or even a surana with a family back home to not fear what they left behind#wynne genuinely thinks without the circle mages would all be murdered and she’ll fight and die protecting her fellow mages#from the right of annulment#yes its a flaw that she goes on to teach others the circle must be tolerated and that is precisely how the circle is perpetuated ove#over generations#but its amazing to me to just act like its her fault#well. this is more tags than i expected it to be
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cryptiduni · 11 months
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to ​jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#my art#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu
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