#is like. so fucking limited imagination-wise
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the urge to get into ship discourse
#i have softened on the competitor to muh otp#however#uh#a) acting like the actually fucking gay ship is the Cute Fluffy (Infantilized) option -even if said as a positive! - to the fucked up wierd#s being sad togetherness of the m/f one#is like. so fucking limited imagination-wise#also the 'she died so im dating her brother' shit is just fucking WIERD but the artist im thinking of -who does ship both- isnt really the#one doing that#but b) tagging art as BOTH ships -while i suppose in these cases largely appropriate as theyre more representative of interpersonal tension#or various unrelated interactions not necessarily bound by the same internal logic#- raises uh. i mean. as alluded to two corners of this fandomside love triangle -to be clear its a triangle in the two-edges sense- are sib#siblings (not even sure why i refuse to name names) and i can't be the only one to think its just fucking WRONG to allow multiple-?12i#anyways i've been so fucking fixated on this tangent that i was really rude to my dad when he tried talking to me and. good lord it wasn't#worth it. this sucks.
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Did that fav pkmn thing on a whim and I'm sorry for all my babies I didn't choose bc I really like too many by some.
Love how it's mostly pretty ones and then there's clodsire. Even tho I got it in my team since the beginning of violet do I continuously forget its name bc I just call it by the nickname blobby (one of the rare times I didn't spend hours googling the perfect nickname but it nonetheless is a perfect one)
And for fun without any legendaries as fav
Reg nicknames I even write all down so I only spend decades once for each pkmn (unless I don't like the prev one anymore). Need to update that someday since it's mostly old revolution ones but hey. Blaze do I use for arcanine nowadays more and ninetails got others. Gardevoir got soteria nowadays which I prefer more. Etc.
#a wild lux appears#(made this in december but for whatev reason left it in drafts until now. prob bc I wanted to limit non important posting idk)#Maybe you think garchomp is there bc of other reasons but I use it since dpp bc cynthia made kid me go 'woah!'#I remember having looked up as a kid to cynthia and juniper a lot and that fact n reason behind it makes me also go yeah no I was a girl wh#one day decided to be happier otherwise. Bc the reason was 'oh wow female and cool so I can indeed be that :0' most importantly with junipe#bc I never cared for battles. ye ye ignore fictional professions I was like 8. reason I loath alola tbh I missed doing non battle side stuf#I vividly remember picking my first pkmn game up (hg) and just immediately going fuck being a trainer let me be a prof and it's so funny ho#my horrendous sieve brain has that laser ingrained. Sometimes still brainstorm and I would prob study ghost pkmn tbh who by sheer luck isn'#dead yet. That and maybe being v charismatic to that type idk. Why bc I like those lil fellas.#What I also find extremely funny is having went by sonia prior to swordshield and there being a prof sonia. Wish I still went by it when it#dropped. Imagine. Kid sonia wanting to be a prof and meeting swsh sonia being on her way to be one. I either would've made her my#personality (which I think I nonetheless did I think I changed my icons to her) or would've wildly shaking her going 'it should have been#meeee'. which ig I mentally do by every rival or friend group person that takes that route like take me w you I hate battles please. Insane#that only blueberry academy me start to hate em slightly less. After over a decade of battles. Ig alpharad's n others streams w nuzlockes n#all started to also show me the appeal of actually strategizing instead of brute forcing which I did.#*that only blueberry academy MADE me#Whatev. Also no I don't got anything else that another pkmn would kickstart talking abt. Just know I drag my 2013 xerneas everywhere w me#and it is a fucking crime that I can't throw it into violet. What is this. You clearly don't mind throwing others into regions they don't#belong to at all (which I personally really dislike hc lore wise but gameplay wise whatever let new trainers catch old legendaries)#To come back to fav pkmn yes I'm in the dragonair boat. I hate evolving mine. Dragonite is fine I like it standalone but I like the#aesthetic of dragonair more. Idfc abt logic or whatever this is aesthetic talk. Yes I prefer some fan evos more.#I keep wanting to play that fusion fangame and if you want to know what pkmn I like I found out I have a huge overlap w alpharad there#Which sucks for us both! We adore pkmn that get lewded the most and I hate my life. You do you idc some are humanoid I have to admit that#but I personally would prefer to not see any art or even just jokes abt ANY of that. Humanoid or not I Do Not See.#I don't block let alone report over that just. tag and don't bring that to my doorstep thx.#What I will at most block n judge is if you touch any of the kids idc in this franchise if they're just pixels.#Can you tell I am writing this close to midnight anyways this is all. This became like a completely dif post in the tags welp
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i am in love with your sollux i think
sollux love party :]
if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him..
big warning for the mega long read ahead aye
as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall
as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.
his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.
while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.
his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.
the Bit in question:
his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.
considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.
but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.
but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.
compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.
the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)
conceptually-speaking,
at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise
thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.
but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures
meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.
those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:
zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)
or
far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.
which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.
dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3
#ask#anon#sollux captor#homestuck#hs2 spoilers#2023#vioart#hs2 sollux explaining girls and bitches to john: 🗣️🗣️🗣️#mr foods‚ setting up the visuals: LMAO ok pause. cool story bro theyre all gone its just u n ur sandwich bro.#now that i think abt it sol's kind of a toaster? awkwardly takes up countertop space#lacks the versatility and sociability of an air fryer/pressure cooker. unwashed and littered w crumbs!#but sometimes the clear‚ frank simplicity of the toaster is a temporary lifesaver for ppl who struggle w low appetite / decision fatigue#or ppl who just have a habit of eating toast for breakfast LOL#and eh ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ even if u dont feel like toasting today thats ok he's still gonna be sitting there 👍👍#a funnyman..... i curse him in my pan but root for him in my biscuit 🫶
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finished the last case and this game managed to hurt me one last time with those credits
#those credits were super cute but also how fucking dare you#tgaac liveblogging#also love how none of my guesses were correct.... or were they#susato's father is still suspicious as shit#yeah he's ill HE'S WITH ILL INTENT#99% sure he's the one who betrayed zieks anyways#still!! done with the first game wehhhhh#obviously mechanics wise its the best one but for the story and characters apollo justice is still my first love#i do love iris and sholmes so much#susato is... fine although nothing that makes her super unique imo#i just dont like ryunosuke man😭😭 zieks is also the weakest of the prosecutors so far#probably cause the first game didn't focus on his story a lot??? and his character was pretty limited to his weird prejudiced comments lol#i imagine he'll shine more in the second game#i aint playing that for a while though i forgot how uhhh heavy handed anime games are#also i need time to consume all of kazuma's a*3 category lmao
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The Stupidest Things In Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender: A List
a.k.a.
a whiny rant from someone who has dedicated far too many of their already limited number of braincells to atla i know it's just a tv show but come on this is what tumblr is for let me whine
For your consideration, with many spoilers:
5. Katara Being Smug After Kicking Jet's Ass
In the original, Katara is betrayed by Jet. You can feel the raw emotion in the words "I trusted you! You're sick, and I trusted you!" immediately followed by her concern for the innocent people Jet has seemingly murdered. It's not a triumph, it's a wound, and the next time she sees Jet, her first reaction is "kill on sight".
This is great. It's heartwrenching, it's humanizing, and Katara using violence against Jet isn't a victory for her. It's just pain.
In the live action, Katara very mildly chastises Jet for trying to kill innocent people, which is... an interesting characterization for her, to say the least. Jet then tries to grab her, immediately followed by Katara throwing him and freezing him. She then just tells him goodbye. Her tone is placid, almost unaffected.
And then Jet says "Look at the power you have. That's because of me!"
Katara: "That wasn't you. That was me."
And then she strides off with a small smile, and that's the end of that. Sokka and Aang are not present. It's an incredibly hokey moment that's meant to emulate the style of feminine empowerment, but it has none of the substance. It glosses over any human feelings of hurt and betrayal. All that the it ends up doing is removing a story beat for Katara.
4. The Badgermoles
"They're blind! They sense feelings and react to them! Anger, fear... but mostly love."
Katara and Sokka hold hands in a cave and it makes the badgermole stop attacking them.
The blind badgermoles. Navigate by... love.
Yeah.
Do I need to say anything? Can we all see (pun intended) how stupid that is?
3. Bumi Makes Aang Choose Between Killing Him Or Letting Himself Die To Make The Dumbest Point Imaginable
Remember Bumi? Aang's old friend, a fun, kooky king? Well, here he's an actual fucking psychopath.
He collapses part of the roof onto Aang, and Aang holds it up with airbending. Another part of the roof collapses on Bumi, and Bumi just... shrugs his shoulders, fully intending to die. Aang holds that one up as well, and Bumi, instead of helping, makes the dumbest fucking point I've ever heard about "making tough choices", and urges Aang to let the boulder crush him.
Again. Bumi, the fun, wise king, wants Aang to kill him.
The situation is defused by Katara freezing a little strip on the floor so that Sokka can very slowly slide on it and tackle Bumi to safety. I can not emphasize how slow his slide is. Running would have been faster. Bumi has time to look at him and say "Huh?" as Sokka slowly slides across the floor. Oh, yeah, they were led onto the scene by the love-sensing badgermoles.
Then it's Aang's turn to be dumb. He says "you CAN rely on your friends" and hands Bumi a friendship rock. Bumi is pacified for now, but there is no telling when his next Saw trap will activate.
This made me actually feel bad. I just. I kept expecting for it to turn into a secret lesson, like Bumi in the original show, but it never did. Bumi's just a spiteful psychopath who is easily swayed by the gifting of rocks.
2. Koh The Face-Stealer Has A Backstory Now
Why? Mother of Faces? What? No.
No.
Iroh Is Intimidated By Zhao, And Then He Kills Zhao
Ah, Live Action Iroh. The most ineffectual man on the planet.
So, Zhao has the Moon Koi in a bag, and is ready to stab it with his special stabbing implement. Iroh is standing right behind him. RIGHT BEHIND HIM. Iroh has been there the whole time. Iroh does not want Zhao to kill the fish.
Iroh says: "Whatever you do to that spirit, I'll unleash on you tenfold!"
Remember how in the original, where that was like a big, shocking moment that he got angry? And how Zhao immediately let go of the fish, only to then have his anger get the best of him? How Zhao attacked the spirit by surprise?
Well, here it's a little different. For one, like I already said, Iroh doesn't come in suddenly, he sort of gets bullied into looking for the spirit by Zhao. Then he looks for the spirit, and after Zhao finds it, then he decides that he really has a problem with killing the spirit. He did protest before, but then he kind of just caved and helped anyways.
He threatens Zhao, and Zhao just... brushes him off. "Spare me your empty threats." Then the firebenders next to Iroh sort of... glower at him menacingly, and Iroh looks worried.
Zhao offers Iroh a place at his side once he becomes Fire Lord, which, uh? Okay. Fine. I actually don't have a problem with Zhao wanting to be Fire Lord, that seems to be entirely on brand for him, but everything he does to get to that goal is just stupid.
Aang arrives, they talk, Aang says "I don't matter", and then Iroh, who has sidled past the Glowering Firebenders Who Do Nothing Else, shoots the fish out of Zhao's hands. And then, as Zhao is on the ground, reaching for the fish with his special stabbing implement, Iroh forgets that he can shoot fire out of his hands, and lets Zhao stab the fish.
AND THEN Iroh, who literally stood by two different times and let Zhao kill the fish, decides to kick everyone's ass. And the Glowering Firebenders do nothing. One of them just stands in the background. Iroh doesn't even attack that guy.
In the original, Iroh immediately leaps into action after Zhao kills the spirit by means of surprise attack, takes out Zhao's guards in about a second, and Zhao escapes.
Here, he doesn't do anything at first except help Zhao find the spirit he doesn't want to see killed, then back down, then do something, then back down again, then do something again, then forget that he can do anything, and then he does something again.
It's just... so dumb. (So dumb it's brilliant!) No! It's just dumb!
And then, fifteen minutes later, after Zuko has dueled Zhao, Iroh kills him. Iroh just barbecues him by striking him from behind. Gee, Iroh, if you were willing to do that, why not just do it when Zhao was holding the fish?
Dishonorable mentions:
The fact that all of the actors fit their characters so well and have some great moments, but the show just doesn't support their performances at all. I feel so bad for all of them, being robbed of a chance to shine by some truly awful writing, editing and direction
The Ocean Spirit making Godzilla noises
June flirting with Iroh (didn't they say that they wanted to remove iffy stuff from the original? Well, that whole thing was iffy in the original. Why didn't you cut it entirely?)
Zuko doing the jazz hands to charge an attack
All the clunky and unnecessary exposition (for example: after Aang turns into the Ocean Spirit, Yue immediately turns to Sokka and narrates that Aang has turned into the Ocean Spirit, for almost 30 seconds)
The fact that Aang can only communicate with each Avatar at their shrines
The Ice Moon
The Cabbage Man literally turning to shout his line to the heavens while fire rages around him
The Secret Tunnel song being shoehorned in for no reason
Iroh's entire backstory being shoehorned in for no reason
Ozai being a caring dad actually
Zuko being shocked that Ozai prefers Azula
Gran Gran's speech
The fact that they showed Gyatso being killed by Sozin (literally nobody needed a big action scene, because that's what it was, predicated entirely on the genocide of the Air Nomads)
And finally, the fact that Sokka and Yue's reason for going to the Spirit Oasis is that Momo was fatally injured.
#avatar the last airbender#atla netflix#netflix atla#netflix avatar#aang#zuko#iroh#katara#jet#sokka#atla spoilers#atla zhao#fire lord ozai
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𝑩𝒚𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒚𝒂 & 𝑮𝒊𝒏
𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒚 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒚, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒔/𝒐
🏹 request: anon. For the January requests !! I wanted to ask if you could write some Byakuya and/or Gin head cannons for what they would be like with an s/o who seems to be a degenerate and is constantly acting kinky, only to be inexperienced when it comes to the real thing :> //you can ignore this if you want I just wanted to see your take on it 🥰
🏹tw: mdni. headcanons for byakuya and gin reacting to a kinky but pure reader. soft depictions of sexual matter.
edit: I changed the banner, cause I was informed Gin's previous picture was a fan art. I honestly didn't know, since the style looked exactly like Kubo's art. I'm sorry!
ᴋᴜᴄʜɪᴋɪ ʙʏᴀᴋᴜʏᴀ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
🩰 “How could they? How could they be that degenerate?” that’s exactly what he asks himself before discovering how hard he is. There is something about avoiding repression that gets Byakuya going. Not to mention how attracted he is to your face and how he imagines it tinted in pleasure expressions.
🩰 Every time his s/o makes some type of “kinky” commentary, every word reverberates inside of him hitting against “the barriers” he voluntarily choses to build. His frown gets even more serious, but his lips separate with warm air passing through them. He is glad his pants are that flowy, or else his hardness might start showing.
🩰 At first, he will not proceed. The more “kinky” commentaries you do, the more disapproval his look will show. But then, there will be a day in which he won’t be able to hold back much longer…
“Captain, why are you showing so much of your chest? Isn’t it a bit… improper? Or are you trying something with me?” you ask, knowing damn well the more you tease him, the madder he gets.
“Is none of your business. It’s summer. Is hot” he mutters, fixing a pile of papers he has just finished reading. He is right, his office is becoming steam hot, and you are not sure if it’s because of summer or his sole presence. In any case, you see him squirming just a little, giving you the impression he is uncomfortable with the clothes he is wearing or maybe his body.
“It is, since I’m getting horny because of those collar bo-“ you try to keep going between laughter and giggles, but his shunpo is faster than anyone and your hands and belly are now pressed against the desk. His body topping you, his hardness grazing your ass, his mouth breathing so close to your ear. You swallow, after all this time he has finally woken up… but now, what should you do? You have no idea…
“Since you are that horny… why don’t you let me fuck you right now, right here?” Byakuya whispers, in between panting, with the menacing tone of a man that has been holding back for so very long. It is so weird to hear those words coming from his lips, but they definitely make you shiver.
“Bya… Byakuya-sama, I… I seriously- I was joking… I have never, ever… done this” you excuse yourself. Should you let him handle this? is it the moment in which he discovers your purity? Yet, it sounds so well to let him take it.
He stops pushing you against the desk, slowly helping you to stand up. Lovingly turning you around, kissing your lips so carefully.
“I know you are the purest flower of my garden… you pushed my limits, I should have behaved, and for that I’m sorry” he mumbles, planting a kiss on your forehead.
“No, Byakuya-sama. Please take me, show me, enlighten me, and punish me”
ɪᴄʜɪᴍᴀʀᴜ ɢɪɴ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
🦢 Gin is not as patient as Byakuya. He won’t let you mess with him for too long, because he will definitely take advantage of your attitude. He knows very well, as wise as he can be, your true nature. You can’t fool him. Gin is not an innocent man.
🦢 He discovered that you were inexperienced way before you could even realize. All this time, he has only been playing dumb.
🦢 He in fact, will try to push your limits even further, even to the point where you could be publicly exposed for such “indecency”. Some sort of humiliating game that really, really gets him hard and drippy.
🦢 During one of those weekend gatherings, where captains, vicecaptains and soldiers get together to have some sake fill their veins, Gin pulled you closer to him. He remembers every word you said before coming, all the things you joke you wanted to do in the bathroom.
His long fingers, cold and bony, curled around your waist. He kept pulling you towards him, to the point you finally sit on his lap.
His nose, also cold, buried in the crook of your neck with him inhaling your scent. His closed eyes, were shut tight. His lips, planted a sweet kiss on your skin. Before the eyes of everyone there, a depiction of lustful immorality was about to be shown.
“Since you are such a degenerate, why don’t we show them all, all the things you want to do to me?” he asks, very low, in your ear. His hand, snaking down your pants, relying only on the table to cover it up.
“Gin… I- I swear, I don’t- I didn’t mean it” you desperately try to whisper back, this is not the place… nor anywhere else for that matter.
He laughed.
He laughed at you.
“I know, I know.. I was just joking. I know you are not exactly what you seem to be. Look at you, all worked up! How fun!”
#byakuya kuchiki x reader#kuchiki byakuya x reader#byakuya x reader#byakuya kuchiki imagine#byakuya x you#kuchiki byakuya#byakuya kuchiki x you#kuchiki byakuya x you#byakuya#kuchiki byakuya imagine#byakuya kuchiki#bleach#bleach headcanons#bleach imagines#bleach byakuya#bleach x reader#bleach anime#bleach fanart#gin ichimaru x reader#ichimaru x reader#ichimaru gin x reader#bleach x reader fanfic#gin x reader#bleach fanfic#bleach fanfiction#bleach imagine#bleach smut#gin ichimaru smut#ichimaru gin#gin ichimaru
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The Queen definitely dominated Shilo a lot, like we can all agree on that, right? That’s what normalized casually upending people’s free will to Shilo.
I’m just curious how far she took it. Shilo was capable of leaving his room and the castle, but was that because The Queen didn’t want to dominate him to never leave, or because that would’ve been a safety hazard? While Shilo was growing up did she dominate him whenever he wanted to stay up past bedtime? Whenever he didn’t want to eat his dinner yet? Whenever he asked one too many times to see the outside world, read new books, to have a friend? Did she dominate away tantrums, dominate him into sitting still for portraits, dominate him into apologizing after arguments?
Did she use her discipline to skip over all the times a normal parent would discipline their child or adapt to their needs? She’s an old, old creature, and grew up in a very different era, it might not have even seemed wrong to her, exactly, just a useful trick that let her speedrun parenting because she knew what was best for Shilo even if it deprived him of every opportunity to be a person.
Did that extend out to Jeffrey (assuming he’s actually their dad and not like, some guy that The Queen dumped Emizel on to hide him and just dominated into believing that he was Emizel’s father), back whenever they were dating/whatever the fuck led them to fuck? Did she dominate away rough patches, rewrite his memories of plans when something came up and she knew she couldn’t make it?
Did she ghoulify him?
Think about it. She’s this great, wise, powerful Queen of all vampires with enemies around every corner, and then she falls in love/?lust? with this frail, vulnerable human. He’s a weak spot that can be exploited, a hole in her armor, and that puts him in danger. His first line of defense seemed to be secrecy, but why not have his second line of defense be a bunch of blood points to use at will? Ghouls are stronger, heal faster, and even have limited use of disciplines! Heck, if she love loved him, then she’d be extending his lifespan so they could be together for all eternity, at the low low cost of his free will and independence. But hey, it’s not like he didn’t already love her, right?
I’m not sure what would’ve had to have changed for her to have cut contact with Jeffrey and Emizel, especially since she clearly didn’t learn any lessons because she still raised Shilo to be the way he is, but like. I just want you to imagine Jeffrey slowly transitioning out of being a ghoul once he’s cut off from The Queen’s blood, slowly realizing what happened, slowly realizing he’d had a kid while under a blood bond and all the fucked up shit that entails, and then having to wake up everyday and look at Emizel and be reminded of it all.
If he stayed away from The Queen under a level 3 blood bond then she probably explicitly told him to do so, maybe even dominated him into doing it, so even just taking care of Emizel might’ve been by her orders, and as he de-ghoulified he was actively choosing to continue to follow the last orders given to him by someone who put him through all of that. That might’ve strained his relationship with his son, just a little bit.
Idk if Charlie would’ve made things that dark, but I still doubt dating The Queen of a society that sees people as walking talking buffets went super well for Jeffrey.
#jrwi the suckening#the suckening#jrwi the queen#jrwi jeffrey#at the very least she probably altered his memories of her and what she was#and definitely is spying on him without his knowledge#considering the fact that all of her updates come from a cat and not Jeffrey himself#like Shilo found REPORTS in that vault not letters#she’s like shilo but even worse and I’m so freaking here for that#jrwi#jrwi theory#suckening thoughts
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Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five
TW: abuse of authority, harassment, cops
The next day, you are driving home from a long shift in the wee hours of the morning when you see the dreaded flicker of blue and red lights flashing behind you. There’s hardly anyone else out on the highway, so there’s little chance they’re not directed at you.
What the hell? You weren’t even speeding. You are exhausted. Did you drift over the line? Fuck. A ticket is the last thing you need right now. You make your way over to the side of the road, hoping you don’t get a flat from all the extraneous bullshit that peppers the asphalt. There really is no one around, and a little thrill of fear tightens your chest. Being a woman alone late at night in this situation isn’t exactly what you would call ideal.
You know you don’t exactly look threatening, but you’re still careful to place your hands in full view on the top of the wheel. You glance in your side mirror at the black Dodge Charger parked behind you, momentarily blinded by those stupid flashing lights. However, when you set eyes on the figure who emerges from the driver’s seat, your heart plummets to your stomach.
That motherfucker.
He approaches your open window with all the swagger of a rooster, long legs and broad shoulders. Doesn’t look much like that burn is bothering him now. You know part of the bulk of his chest is a vest (and you’re glad he’s wearing it, considering his habits) but it still manages to fry the aesthetic center of your brain as you watch him.
He bends down slightly to peer in your window, blinding you with his flashlight. So unnecessary.
“Really?” you grouse, squinting at the bright light.
Ignoring your complaint, he offers that shit-eating smirk. “Know why I pulled you over?”
He leans on your window, and you know you stare at that large hand distractingly close to your shoulder for a beat too long, utterly betraying your thoughts to him. “No idea,” you sigh, tired, and pissed off, and you hate to admit it-entirely too titillated by his newest form of harassment.
Again, it occurs to you how very alone you are out here, at this time of the night. Even if there was another car driving by…there’s no way they’re stopping to help you.
“For driving while adorable.”
Of all the things he could have said in that moment-and you cannot help but remember the way he trussed you like a christmas turkey and said such filthy things in your ear that one time you treated him-it’s so cheesy it almost makes you smile.
“Are you kidding me?”
“And you were going 7 miles over the speed limit.”
This was LA. You took your life in your hands for not speeding at least fifteen over most of the time.
“You’re writing me a ticket for going seven over?”
He doesn’t actually have the ticket book in his hand, and he looks around the deserted highway as though thinking about it.
“Well. I don’t have to…”
Here it comes.
“I’m not going on a date with you to get out of this. Write it up. Fuck it. I don’t care.”
He pays you a little frown, because he’s trying to be cute, but you’re just not playing his game. You imagine a man like this isn’t used to women not playing any games he asks them to. He has no idea how stubborn you can be.
When he honest-to-god makes a pouty face, pushing out that beautifully full lower lip it’s all you can do not to reach out of the car and slap him-or maybe punch him in the dick-because it’s charming, and it melts your heart a little, and you so do not need this. You’ve been dreaming about him nearly every goddamn night since you first treated him and this is only going to throw gasoline on the fire-fuck!
“Did you forget that I have a boyfriend?” you remind him, for yourself as much as him. Maybe it’s not wise, to poke the bear while he’s actually almost being sweet-but you are mad.
His eyes narrow at you, and why do you get such a thrill from that?
“Do you? Because the two of you seemed a little…awkward, together. Not sure I buy it.”
“Things are just new,” you defend. “What, do you want to hear about how he rubs my feet on my break?”
The glint in Officer Ludlow’s eyes is like a bared blade. “Just your feet? Honey, if you were my girl I’d rub you all over. For your health.”
Fuck if that doesn’t send a spear of heat straight to your center, your heart thumping painfully in your chest. You hope he doesn’t notice you shifting in your seat, trying to relieve some of the absolutely diabolical ache between your thighs.
“Well…the break room has its limits.”
“Wouldn’t stop me.” The images that is going to give you when you lay down to sleep.
“I’m sure it wouldn’t. But Julian is actually a gentleman.”
“Yeah? Pretty sure that’s code for boring as fuck.”
“He’s not boring. He’s sweet. He’s taking me to coffee on Saturday morning, and you know what? I’m not going to think about you at all.”
A greater lie was never told.
It almost feels like you finally scored a hit. His expression turns stony, unreadable, and you know it’s crazy but you almost feel bad about it. At last he straightens from practically leaning into your window, hooking his thumb in his belt. “Alright, sassy girl,” he says, patting the top of your car. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time.” With a final dark look he swaggers back to his Charger.
It’s possible you watch him go in your side mirror-it’s really not fair, that God gave a man that annoying such a biteable little muffin of an ass.
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[SUMMARY: You are forced by the Croat to fool Negan but he quickly finds out.]
Drama
“No one’s gonna believe I just fucked your brains out with that face” your mouth dropped.
It had been two weeks now since you had been captured by a man whom went by “the croat”. Held as a prisoner in a room by yourself for weeks you waited to see what was wanted from you until the man responsible for it all finally showed himself. Instantly noticing one of his ears were deformed you quickly looked down as he stepped before you. He didn’t seem to want to do anything to you but it was clear he did need you for something. He spoke to you about a man named Negan whom he had unfinished business with. A man who he explained was known for some of the sickest things that had been done. You didn’t understand how any of this had to do with you until he explained you would be used as a form of bait.
“Why me?” You asked confused.
“A pretty girl that was easy to capture,” his voice was eerie as he spoke, a twisted look in his eyes.
“And let’s just say I know my good ol’ friend Negans weakness” he laughed. It was then followed by a threat, a threat that if you did not do as he said you would be killed. He warned you that you would be watched and had a limited time to pull this Negan man in. Just before he left the room, another man who was a prisoner was bought in, dragged by his arms.
“Just so you know how serious I am-“ he proceeded to slice the man’s throat causing blood to squirt out. You gasped looking away as he walked up to you with the same knife to your neck.
“You try anything and it won’t be a quick death for you, think and do wisely.”
The Croat had a man drop you off not too far from where this man Negan would be. You didn’t understand why he couldn’t just go in and get Negan himself. Then again, you had no idea whom Negan was or what these sick things he did were.
There was a bar that seemed to have people inside. Looking back you couldn’t see anyone but all you could remember was that you were being watched. Hesitantly stepping inside, loud music played as an bartender stood behind the bar . A woman welcomed you with a smile, you couldn’t believe a place like this was running.
“What would you like?”
You sat down not even sure of what to ask for.
“You decide” you sighed just as a back door opened.
“Negan, good afternoon-“ you followed the eyes of the bartender to see who this Negan was. A man with slicked back hair dressed in all black was making his way to the bar.
“Shit” you whispered to yourself. He looked much more intimidating than you imagined.
“Good afternoon indeed” he raised his brows before stopping his eyes right on you, you realized he was making his way to sit beside you. You suddenly froze not sure if you should say something, not sure what he would say. He didn’t even have to ask for a drink, the bartender already knowing what he liked placed a drink right before him making him look at her.
“Make it two sweetheart, one for my new friend here” he motioned to you with a wink.
“Thank you” you said pleasantly surprised as you watched the woman make your drink.
“Cheers” he lifted the cup towards you as you lifted yours and smiled. His eyes never leaving you as he sipped his drink. It was clear Negan was attracted you, clearly the Croat wasn’t wrong when he said he knew Negans weakness. You were sure he wasn’t wrong about the sick man he was, you were sure the Croat was just a sick.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Juliana”
“Juliana” he repeated in a seductive tone as he leaned towards you. Licking his lips he looked you up and down. Usually this wouldn’t have been something you liked but dare you say you found this man attractive:
His eyes filled with curiosity…for such asupposed evil man, he was handsome.
“So what are you like the boss of this place or something?”
“What makes you think that?” He chuckled before his expression changed without you realizing. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at your wrist and noticed fresh bruising around both of them. You hadn’t noticed what he was looking at as you grabbed your glass drinking more for some courage, you knew this wouldn’t be easy.
“Where’d you come from, sweetheart?”
“I…I-“ the loud music and your nerves distracting you getting in the way.
“You have somewhere quieter we can talk?”
“Sure” he led you to the back door he had come out of. Never did you think you would follow a man you didn’t know behind unknown doors. Walking down a dim hall he led you to what looked like a bedroom, you assumed this is where he stayed. You had a weapon, a knife you already had your hand on in your pocket that was given back to you. He closed the door behind you as you looked around before noticing a window showing what was out in back of the bar. A trail leading into the woods you wondered if one of the men watching you was out there. You found yourself stepping closer to the window as Negan noticed a some what paranoid look in your eyes.
“Looking for someone?” His question distracting you making you stop in your tracks. You took a step back realizing you were in a room only with Negan, a man you truly knew nothing of. You began to second guess what exactly you were doing. Who’s to say the Croat wouldn’t kill you anyway? Who’s to say this man standing before you wouldn’t kill you himself? Panic building up inside you, you turned quickly rushing to the door grabbing the door knob.
“Woah woah-“ he looked at you with confusion. The door wouldn’t budge. Your heart racing wanting to just get away from both men completely.
“I need to get out of here! Let me out!” You screamed as he rushed beside you.
“The door is open god dammit-“he explained yet you continued to pull at the knob ignoring his words.
“Let me out, let me out, he’s gonna kill me and you’re gonna kill me-“
“Who’s he?” He grabbed your hands off the knob. Afraid to look at him you kept your eyes on the door.
“Just let me go, he’s gonna come, he knows where I am-“ you begged in tears trying to pull away from him.
“I’m not gonna do a damn thing to you, stop it!” He shook you trying to snap you out of it.
“He knows I’m here-the Croat-that man!” Negan stood still, his hands still on you.
“What the fuck did you just say?” The tone in his voice terrified you. Still you wouldn’t look at him, shaking your head you tried to pull away but his grip was tight.
“Answer me!” He roared loudly making you jump.
“I don’t know who he is-“ you cried.
“He captured me and said he would kill me if I didn’t lead you his way I swear, I never saw him before!” Negan didn’t say a word, his eyes focused on you as he processed what you had said.
“He’s the one who did this?” He lifted your wrists up for you to see your own fresh bruises from being tied up. You quickly nodded.
“He told me he would be watching, he told me I had until tonight”
“And how exactly were you thinking of doing that, sweetheart?” He pulled you against him as you tried to break free.
“Please…I didn’t want to do this” you insisted. After a minute of silence he released your arms and began to pace back and fourth in frustration.
“And you said he’s watching you?” He asked without looking your way.
“Yes” you stood back against the wall brushing away your tears.
“What else did this asshole say?”
“He…he said he knew your weakness” Negan looked back at you and licked his bottom lip with a chuckle.
“He sure fucking does, doesn’t he” Negan crossed his arms before looking at his dresser. He began to pull out weapons putting them in his waistband, his boots and wherever else he could hide one.
“He just wanted me to get you outside, close to the trail” you motioned towards the window.
“Let’s do it” Negan responded bluntly catching you off guard.
“What?”
“Let’s make him think his little plan worked and I’ll handle the rest”
“So you want me to go out there?” You asked hesitantly.
“I’ll be right there with you, he’s not taking you again. I promise you that” he assured you as you gave in with fear.
“Now wipe them tears off your face, sweetheart” he walked towards you.
“No one’s gonna believe I just fucked your brains out with that face” your mouth dropped.
“What? Is that not how you were suppose to trick me?” he squinted his eyes with a playful smirk.
After composing yourself Negan and you both walked out back, the two of you being flirtatious with one another knowing you were being watched. You had explained to Negan that the Croat asked for a signal from you to know when to come out, now knowing Negan said he would tell you when to give the signal. Stopping a few feet away from the trail Negan suddenly pulled you in against him as you played along with a laugh.
“What are you doing?” You whispered with a smile.
“Kiss me” he spoke low as you looked at him confused.
“I beg your pardon.”
“You just almost planned to get me killed, sweetheart. The least I can get is a kiss…” he winked at you.
“Negan-“ He leaned in cutting you off with a kiss that made your knees slightly weak. His hands roaming down grabbing your ass making you squeal.
“I had to” he whispered with a grin before turning serious.
“Go ahead, do it” your heart racing as you made a hand signal behind Negan just before you heard movement come from the woods.
“Go” Negan pushed you as he turned to where he heard movement from ready with his gun in hand.
“Look who it is” he stared directly at the Croat as you ran to the door looking back. The Croat looking at you in disbelief.
“I gotta say-smart plan, trying to use a nice piece of ass to sucker me in” he grinned before his expression turned deadly. Running inside as Negan had ordered you to do you locked the door and hid in the room hoping for the outcome he planned. You locked yourself in a closet as he said and stayed in the dark. Maybe you should’ve done more, maybe you should’ve stayed out there you wondered. You couldn’t hear anything being said, time felt as if it slowed down but Negan made you swear you wouldn’t come out…until you suddenly heard a gunshot. You gasped wondering what that meant.
It could be Negan.
“Oh god” you whispered as more time went by. Not hearing a thing you didn’t move until you heard the door unlock. Your heart skipping a beat you heard the sound of loud stomping before the door of the closet was opened.
You gasped before seeing Negan, your heart racing, your hand on your chest. He looked a bit disheveled, blood on his face.
“You’re bleeding” you panted.
“It’s not mine” without hesitation he grabbed your arm and pulled you out before he shook off his jacket and threw it over a chair. You stood in shock as he breathed roughly walking past you
“Now what?” You asked hesitantly as he stopped and looked at you.
“He’s dead” his words giving you a touch of relief.
“You…you are more than welcome to stay, sweetheart” he proceeded to put his guns away as you stood aside in silence. Shock hitting you all at once, what was there to say?
“I can stay?” You whispered making him look up at you.
“Does that mean I have to-“
“You don’t have to do a god damn thing you don't wanna do” he slammed his box shut as you stood watching him. Taking a deep breath you knew you had nowhere else to go…you took his offer hesitantly yet you could see the pleasure in his eyes. Pleasure in knowing you would be close. Negan knew your limits and provided you with a room to yourself. Now you were safe, yet you knew this wouldn’t be the end of you and Negan.
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Carlos’ future in F1: an essay
I lost the ask about Carlos’ future in F1 😭😭 but I’ll write my answer anyway (I’m so sorry).
The person who asked me said that they liked my writing so I’m going to write a whole essay for them.
No but, for real, all that I’m going to say is a product of many many talks with my boyfriend (he’s a Mechanical engineer, specialising in power train, he knows what he’s talking about) and my uncle.
Anyway, let’s go.
First option: Mercedes.
I honestly do not think it would be wise of Carlos to accept the second Mercedes seat: firstly, he would be just that, a second driver, even if probably in a less clear way than in other teams, but still a second driver.
On top of that, it is pretty obvious now that all Mercedes is looking for is someone to warm the seat for Kimi Antonelli so even if Carlos’ results would be amazing and spectacular, they would still prefer a young promise that they can build the car entirely around.
Which is exactly the reason why I think that Fernando Alonso would be a much better choice next to George, perhaps have his last 1/2 years in the sport and then retire for good (not because I think he needs to retire, it’s obvious how good he still is in the sport, what I’m saying it’s just a matter of probability).
Second option: Stake [future Audi]
It hurts me to say, but it’s probably the most probable outcome.
The thing is, Audi is looking for an experienced driver, of course, someone that can tell them exactly what they need to do to improve, someone who knows what he’s talking about because he’s good at his job and he has a particular sensitivity to the car.
And we all know that Carlos is exactly that driver, Ferrari and McLaren and Renault have frequently appreciated his skills in the matter. He knows what to look for in a car, how to look for it and how to give feedback.
On top of that, he’s a consistent driver that knows exactly how to bring the car to its limits. What I’ve always loved about Carlos is that he knows how to bring out the best from a car even if it is not built for him (Ferrari, for example, has explicitly said that they’re building the car around Charles which is plausible - do not hate Ferrari for that, every team has to decide a first driver, that’s how the sport works and that’s what the engineers need to think about the best project).
A new team like Audi will be in 2026, that will also have the slight advantage to other teams of entering the sport at the same time as new regulations, will need someone like Carlos.
Of course, not to mention the connections that he has thanks to his dad. (Do not hate on Carlos’ family under this post, everybody’s parent would try and give their sons/daughters their best options if they can. Hating on Carlos Sainz Sr for that is the most hypocritical thing you can do).
Counterpart? He would have to deal with Stake for the 2025 season and their objectively awful car, and it would kill me.
Third option: RedBull
Ah, yes but no.
Yes because I wish for him to have a good car, I wish for him to have a good team and be on the podium every weekend and have a few wins.
Him and Max have a good relationship (whoever says that Max hates him because he’s in love with Charles, what the hell is your problem? You can ship them, alright, and you can let your imagination fly, but always remember that there’s a difference between fantasy and real life, and real life is that Max does not hate anyone and in that fucking cool down room in Bahrein he appreciated Carlos’ racecraft - you can listen to the audio again and actually listen to it - and his clean overtakes on both Charles and George - not just Charles, there was George, too, if your brain fails to remind you) despite all the people insisting on their dads’ problem and all.
That’s the no part. Unfortunately, both Max and Carlos’ careers are a bit influenced by their dads, but again, we cannot hate them for that. That’s how families are, that’s how complicated human relationships are.
Parents try to give their sons the best, that’s just how it is.
Fourth option: Aston Martin
Is it an option? Yes, no, depends on what Fernando will decide to do.
But I honestly think it would be a really good choice. Aston Martin is a great team, top of the midfield, drivers can show their abilities in that kind of car, there’s no enormous drama or anything and Lance is a pretty good teammate.
Besides, if Fernando were to leave the team, they would need another driver to ‘take the lead’. Not that Lance would not be fitting, but I think Carlos would be a great option for the development of the car and for feedbacks (see previous point in Audi section).
Fifth option: Alpine
God, please, no.
(I’m already suffering enough for Esteban and Pierre, please stop).
Sixth option: Haas
See fifth option.
(Besides, I think they were planning on giving a seat to Ollie Bearman, anyway. Given the incredible result of last week, that will almost surely be the case and deservedly so).
Seventh option: Williams
See fifth option.
I love both Alex and Logan, and I hope they’ll keep Logan for the time being.
Conclusion: where do I want Carlos to go?
Carlos is an amazing driver, consistent, smart, fast, experienced.
He makes very few mistakes and he’s really intelligent, which means that he’s able to bring out the potential of a car even when it does not perform exceptionally.
Let’s all remember that he was the only non-RedBull winner last year. And no, not because they ‘sacrificed’ Charles, but because he knew exactly what to do and how to do it and when to do it - again, smart. And no, I’m not bringing down Charles by celebrating Carlos’ win. Latest news: you can celebrate different drivers without bringing down other.
(If that were the case, then you would have to kill all your siblings because how dare your parents celebrate their birthday and not yours on the same day? Please, be reasonable when you think, your brain deserves that).
Any team would be lucky to have him.
Personally, I hope for RedBull, because then he would get a chance to perform with a great car and one that adapts to his driving style (him and Max have a pretty similar setup and pretty similar preferences when it comes to the car, which would also be a great advantage for the engineering side of the team that I just cannot ignore since I study engineering myself hahah), regardless of the whole drama that usually takes place in that team.
About that, I would like to point put that RedBull comes first and foremost as a brand, not as a driving team, which means that media and public facades are a great part of its entire existence, that’s why there’s always talking around it.
That’s what they want, that’s what they need, and it’s understandable: Ferrari has its history, McLaren has its history and its ‘modernity’, RedBull has its brand.
And it’s okay because that’s how sports work in general, that’s how the world works in general.
We should just learn to differentiate between the public appearances and the actual important aspects of the sports (strategies and the mechanic and aerodynamic part of a car and the abilities of the drivers etcetera).
Realistically, I think he will probably take Valtteri/Zhou’s seat (sadly, of course, I love each and every one of them) and start at Stake for 2025 to be part of Audi for the remaining part of his career.
That’s it, that’s what I think. Thank you anon for the question, sorry if I lost it, I hope you liked my detailed answer. 💕🫶🏻
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KINKTOBER 2023 / Day Twenty-Three
( Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia x F!Reader )
BREEDING/IMPREGNATION / FANCY DRESS / FROTTAGE
Summary: Santiago Garcia doesn’t do Halloween so why has he insisted on taking you out to a fancy dress party?
Rating: Mature 18+
Warnings: Sex party, mentions of drink, language, sex show, minor predator/prey, public sex, P in V, unprotected sex (use protection irl please), Dom!Santiago, no use of Y/N
Word Count: 2.3k
You waited for Santiago to pull up outside before leaving the house. Hugging your coat to your frame, you tiptoe carefully on your boots across the lawn and into his car.
“Cold?”
“A little,” you say, sliding into the passenger seat. “The outfit you got me doesn’t cover much.”
“But it fits?”
Santiago knew your measurements like the back of his hand.
“Of course.”
“Good.”
You look him up and down, face scrunching. In comparison to you, he was dressed like he was going to a black tie dinner.
“So where’s your costume?”
“I’ve got a mask in the glove box.”
You hum distastefully.
He gave you that look, the one where if he was stood up he’d have his hand on his hips, head cocked, and you’d be very much in trouble.
“Do you still want to go?”
“Yes,” you blushed, “it’s just, I’m dressed like this, you’re dressed like that.”
“It’ll make sense when we get there.”
He wasn’t really one for Halloween so his invitation came as a surprise, especially when he said it was fancy dress.
Santiago Garcia doesn’t do fancy dress.
But with all the other boys busy with kid’s parties, getting into a cage fight or making a speech in some other state, you had limited choices. It was accept Santiago’s invitation or don’t celebrate the holiday at all.
He didn’t tell you much about it, offered to buy you the outfit and told you no fake blood or face paints, you had to dress appropriately or you wouldn’t be allowed to step through the doors.
The location was a drive out of town.
When the pair of you pulled up, a few other cars arrived and out came similarly dressed couples, pulling on masks to shield their eyes.
“Santi, what kind of party is this?”
He cleared his throat, not looking at you.
“It’s a sex party.”
“Oh,” your brows knot. “Do the boys know?”
“Will said no third parties, Fish wants us home by midnight.”
You continued to people watch, not one person appearing the same but plenty of lace, heels and long coats.
“We can head back if you want,” he spoke softly, bringing a palm to your thigh. “I don’t mind.”
Your intrigue pooled between your thighs.
“There’s no harm in taking a look.”
His eyes darkened when he looked at you, “That’s our girl.”
Santiago leaned over and popped open the glove box, two masks falling out with the motion. One was red, definitely intended for you, the other was in the shape of a wolf’s head including ears. He pulled his mask on before getting out of the car, ever the gentleman, he went to open your door.
Taking a breath, you put on the mask and stepped out, hand slipping into his seamlessly.
At the entrance, he squeezed your hand, analysing your face.
Of course, you were nervous, you couldn’t hide that but the smile you gave him reassured him that this was still ok. He plucked two tickets from his pocket and handed them over. You were both asked politely to put your phones in a zip lock bag and to hand over your coats.
Your eyes flitted to the reception area where women were already scantily clad, complimenting on each other’s body parts openly.
You could do this.
Santiago helped you out of your coat, wrapping an arm around your waist to escort you further. His breath teased hot at your ear.
“I knew you’d look fucking beautiful, honey.”
He chose wisely.
Your outfit was head to toe red, a cute babydoll that extenuated every curve and gently floated around you as you walked. You made sure to shape yourself into a neat triangle and found red heeled boots to go with Santiago’s clear theme.
You were Red Riding Hood and he was the Big Bad Wolf, the perfect predator / prey scenario he’d always imagined.
And you received some glances, fleeting yet full of desire.
“Shall we get a drink and have a look around?”
You nursed a drink in one hand, your other slipping into Santiago’s as you wandered round the old mansion.
It was grand with high ceilings and long flowing curtains. Music filled the spaces, lighting low and though everyone was bare, the rooms were dressed to the nines. People were already starting to accept their pleasure, lips meeting exposed skin, palms running over soft muscles. The noise of moans and sighs like the base tone of a song, it travelled through you and pulsated low.
Santiago squeezed your hand and broke you from your hypnosis.
“It’s a lot to process, isn’t it?”
You look at him with doe eyes, pupils blown.
Of course it was a lot, you’d heard about these sort of parties online, knew Santiago would probably go to one if the opportunity ever arose but you could never picture one. Not in all it’s textures, it’s heat, it’s vividness.
You nod feebly.
“They said there’s performers in the main hall.”
“Really?”
He smiled, you were cute when you were shocked yet undeniably curious. It was a look he’d admired every time he suggested something a little different in the bedroom.
“Come on,” he dragged you away from the bedrooms.
The main hall was all centred around a round stage piled with cushions and draped in a thin mesh, dressing the performers in a soft glow. There were two women and a man, hands dancing over each other’s skin.
Santiago wrapped an arm around you, hand fixed to your waist, pulling you near.
The pair of you stood enchanted by what was taking place in front of you. A combination of professional artists performed an erotic ritual, penetrating each other with a variety of toys before taking a man’s cock. They roamed each other’s bodies, fingers delicate over curves and muscle, much like how Will had touched you for the first time.
Your hand reached to Santiago’s crotch, his cock solid underneath tailored pants. You palmed and a growl rose deep from his throat.
“I need you,” you say so softly he only just hears you.
“Shall we make things a little interesting?”
What could be more interesting than fucking at a sex party?
“What did you have in mind?”
“I’ll give you a thirty second head start.”
Your brows knot, “To do what?”
Santiago glanced out of the corner of his eye, he didn’t need to tell you what.
“One, two, three…”
“What? That’s not fair, I’m not ready!”
“Eight, nine…”
Your hand breaks away and you run from the room as fast as your shoes allow, taking the first left up the flight of stairs.
The adrenaline kicked in quickly, your heart battering against your chest as you weaved through the spaces. You had an idea of being laid out, ready for him to come and take you but every bed you encounter was already full of heavy handed bodies.
Shit, you thought to yourself, taking the next set of stairs.
Thirty seconds must be up by now.
“Hey, baby girl…”
The terminology made your skin crawl even more than the guy who chose to block your path.
“Hey, sorry, I’m with someone.”
This wasn’t the time, Santiago wouldn’t be slow.
“What’s the matter? Daddy won’t let you play?”
Now you understood Santiago’s distaste to you calling him that, it was weird.
“Oh, we’re playing. Just not with you.”
You hurry away.
There were a few people wearing red, it was Halloween after all, however Santiago had something of a photographic memory. That’s what he said to you anyway.
He’d analysed the length of your babydoll and the shapes of the fine mesh, studied the height of the shoe you were wearing and how you did your hair. Even amongst the throngs of people, he knew what to watch out for.
Already, he’d guessed you’d taken the stairs, scouting every room on the first floor with no luck. You wouldn’t have stepped outside, there’s only so far you’d go even with him.
He climbed the next set of stairs.
“Looking for someone?”
Santiago took one look and the man who approached you earlier backed away. He didn’t care for anyone else, not when he knew he was hot on your tail. This guy would have spooked you, just a little, and you would have attempted to get as far away as possible.
You still couldn’t find anywhere for the pair of you to fuck. Sure, people would have gladly allowed you a place on the bed but you didn’t quite fancy another 6 people trying to get involved.
Time was almost up.
There was that sixth sense that told you Santiago was close, your nerves falling into arousal in your cunt.
You walked out of one room with a second glance and bumped straight into the back of Santiago. He didn’t give you chance to figure out who or what was going on until you found yourself pinned up against a vintage vanity.
He forced a knee between your legs.
He brings the joint to your pussy and notches it up slowly, rough material spreading on your soaking seam. You shudder, a sweet yet desperate squeak escaping your mouth as you grip to the woodwork.
It caught people’s ears, a few eyes peeking.
Santiago dropped his head, hot breath teasing your neck as he pressed his cheek to yours.
“Here will do just fine.”
He leaned back enough to meet your eyes before he crashed into your lips and took the air from your lungs.
It takes a couple of seconds to process what the fuck was happening then you relaxed. Your tongue begs at his lips to enter, his five o’clock shadow shredding at your chin.
He grabs your ass and boosts you on top of the vanity before pressing your chest to his.
You pull at his tuxedo jacket, letting it fall to a puddle at his feet. Clawing at the buttons of his shirt, he removes his lips from yours and brings them to your ear.
“How’s it looking?”
You press your plumping lips to the shell of his ear, ensure you give your building audience a show.
“There’s a lot of eyes on us,” you contain in a laugh.
He grabs your hair by the scalp.
“Turn around, honey.”
His hand doesn’t move as you follow his instruction, making sure your eyes stay only on him. He takes a step back and lets you prop your elbows on the vanity, legs spread and back arched. With his other hand, he runs down your spine, a shiver his reward. He rubs one butt cheek to prepare you for what’s next.
The sting only makes you wetter, your yelp drawing more attention.
Santiago’s weight falls to your back.
“Eyes on me.”
You stare at each other in the mirror.
He undoes his belt and pants, his cock slapping against your thigh.
“You ready for my cock?”
You bite your bottom lip, nodding. Lining up, you push back on the tip of his cock, humming.
Santiago’s breath comes ragged, his fingers like talons in your flesh before he snaps his hips, burying his cock.
You gasp, moaning as he settles deep within you.
He yanks your head so your neck is straining, your breasts threatening to slip out of your babydoll. A smirk quirks on his lips as he pulls out slowly, your walls holding him tight.
He thrusts hard and fast, each one taking your breath away with his grunts filling the air. Your cunt pulses around him, your finger hooking to trace circles over your sensitive clit. The squelching of your arousal becoming louder and louder as Santiago’s cock hits that soft spot.
He snarls, returning to your ear.
“You’re being such a good girl for me.”
You mewl.
The force of his thrusts knocking the vanity over and over, the mirror shaking. You were beginning to see white spots, sweat clinging to your skin from the heat, chest flushed.
This was hot, so fucking hot.
“You want me to fill you up?”
“Yes,” you choke. “Oh my god, yes!”
Santiago went harder, faster, stronger and each time you cried out with desire, your walls fluttering around him.
He filled you, coating your cunt with his load.
“Fuck,” he whispered sharply.
Your legs shook as his cock slid from within you, his creamy cum leaking to the sleek wooden floor.
‘That was so fucking hot.’
It was the only comment you heard when the crowd dispersed, it was the only comment you needed to hear.
Santiago trailed kisses along your back before nuzzling into your neck. You wrap an arm over to stroke the back of his head, a giggle caught in heavy breath.
“We should do this more often.”
He laughed, looking up to admire you in the mirror. Your hair is no longer the neatness as when you came in, your eyelids heavy from being absolutely cock drunk, a loose smile painting your face. Beads of sweat hung to your chest and your one breast had definitely broke free, your nipple a hard bud, the faint glint of your piercing.
And he fucking loved you as you basked in this high together.
Pressing a final kiss to your shoulder, he straightened up and tucked his cock back into his pants. You stretch before lifting yourself up, clinging to the edge of the vanity as your legs gave a slight wobble. Turning around you lean back and rest your ass down.
Santiago cupped your face in both hands, gently bringing his lips to yours. His energy had shifted, he was calm, his heartbeat steady as he deepened the kiss. Your tongue licked his bottom lip before he allowed you to enter his mouth briefly.
“You alright?” He asked, smoothing his thumbs over your cheek bones.
You hum, giving a singular nod.
He didn’t believe you, his one brow arched as he roamed your face. You felt the temperature rise in your cheeks, his gaze that intense.
“I may need a little bit of help getting back to the car.”
“You want to go home already?”
He said, moving to the side of you, taking your hand in his as he started to walk.
“I thought we were just getting started.”
#kinktober 2023#triple frontier#triple frontier x reader#santiago garcia#santiago pope garcia#santiago garcia x reader#santiago garcia x you#kinktober
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I know ppl are yapping at you abt Dungeon Meshi so sorry but I’m joining in. Who in the Gaang (or Gaang-adjacent) do you think would enjoy the dungeon most and least? Sokka would be having a grand time, eating cool food and rescuing sisters and learning about biology and doing puzzles. I can imagine Aang on the other hand having a very bad time; even the plants are animalistic so he would feel weird about eating them. He would appreciate Senshi’s care for the ecosystem though.
idk why ppl keep saying that sokka would be laios.... like laios does say that he wishes he could take falin's place and clearly means it, but he also has the mental fortitude to step back and look at the situation more rationally when he needs to. he clearly loves falin a lot, but he's also able to pace himself and acknowledges not to push himself beyond his own limits, so that he can make grand sacrifices when the time calls for it (and even then, he pretty much knew that losing his leg wasn't gonna be permanent). like, my point is, if katara got fucking eaten by a dragon, sokka would not even bother going back up to the surface to the regroup. he would not be able to approach the situation rationally whatsoever. laios wants to take falin's place because he doesn't want to see her in pain (and also because i'm sure there's a part of him that just wishes that he could be a really cool monster too, lol), but sokka would want to take her place because he fundamentally believes that his role in life is to sacrifice himself for her?? and he would feel like he had failed in some grand, existential way if she sacrificed herself for him (but also, falin is not katara, and so katara wouldn't make those same sacrifices either). if sokka was in laios's shoes, he would be acting far more like toshiro, and we know this because "the boiling rock" exists. sokka is someone who is easily motivated by guilt, and feels guilty about basically everything. there's no way he would be enjoying his time in the dungeon if he felt that he had failed the one person he valued most in the world. he barely enjoys doing anything as it is.
that said, if he was simply in the dungeon for work and katara was there with him or safely on the surface or otherwise healthy and intact, yeah he'd probably like the hunting and puzzle solving and the learning about ecosystems. and since magic is something that can be taught, i'm sure he'd also be fascinated by the science behind it and learn as much magic as he can. aang would be fine food-wise because he'd simply pack enough food in advance, which is what most people do anyway. katara would love it because she loves going on any sort of quest-like adventure, and she loves getting to be the hero. she and aang are the resident healers, naturally. toph enjoys it because she likes hanging out with her friends and getting into weird little situations. suki is slashing up monsters with her katana but mainly she's just vibing. zuko is having a bad time unless he has a fixed goal, just like, in general, so he's only going in the dungeon (or anywhere) if he has a very specific reason. people see azula, mai, and ty lee in the dungeon and they're like "that party is way too small they won't last a day" and then they work as such a perfect and efficient team that everyone is just like "okay. i stand corrected." but anyway. if anyone is falin, it's yue.
#catgirl-behavioral-therapy#asks#synthesis#they would be nothing like laios's party lmfao they would maybe eat the chicken part of a basilisk and that's it
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Multiple times in the past 2 weeks I've had people say things along the lines of "but you probably have really specific ideas about what your characters look like" and "but you probably have really specific ideas about what your character sounds like" and the answer is no! I don't!! I have no clue!
I cannot visualize things for shit!
I cannot picture things in my head, be that actual visuals or audio or taste or anything else. I have almost complete aphantasia. Whatever I write down description-wise is usually pretty vague.
Whatever you think my characters look like or sound like based on whatever limited description I give, that's totally fine with me.
I just want to put it out there that like. I am a fantasy author who has a very, very poor ‘visual’ imagination, and that's fine. Almost always when I'm talking to people they think that I must be able to see like. Movies in my head or whatever and the truth is it's a blank fucking slate, that's all. I don't see anything. I don't hear anything. I make up everything with my best guess work.
That's also why I tend to use a lot of descriptions and metaphors that have to do with animals, because I'm very familiar with animal behavior, but I'm not very good at visualizing things so…comparing things to animals it is!
It is something that has a big impact on my life. I am really bad at directions because I can't visualize maps or routes in my head. I can't remember what people's voices sound like, I can't remember what their faces look like either, not until I've known them for really long time and have seen them frequently, I can't remember what things I've eaten taste like…so on and so on.
Just want to say that you can like. Really not have a single god damn clue, and still write just fine.
Don't feel like you have to think about your writing in a certain way, or that you have to provide a certain kind of stuff for other people. You do you, and they'll do them, and that's okay.
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Code Blue Ch. 52 - Masks
Summary: Craig and Jeffrey bicker over the missing vehicle. Josie and Craig continue to grow closer. A shocking sight gives Josie sore eyes. Jeff is concerned for a friend and gives his two cents. A theory sparks a hunting trip. Jeff exceeds his limits with Josie and she lets him know. Orlando is put on blast. Mama March speaks her truth. Someone else is put on blast by Jo. Megan confesses something that rocks Jo's world.
*Chapter Warnings* Strong language, angst, sexual references
Chapter word count: 8,854
Stories Stories Stories Masterlist:
Salem, Massachusetts
March 22, 2022
The three of you were all in different states of consternation over hearing that the Trans Am was missing and of course over the ghastly events that happened before that. Craig's was red-faced anger as he paced about, yours was simply shock as you stood hugging yourself with bristled arms and Negan's was an eerie calmness as he sat under a tree in unusual silence, softly gritting his jaw.
"The fucking car is gone. The...fucking...car...is...gone!!" Craig erupted as he chucked his phone to the ground.
Finally, Negan spoke. "Well maybe you should have took the fucking keys out of it."
Craig froze solid with a cocky head tilt and poisonous pupils. "Right...because people are just lined up to hop in and steal a rust bucket reeking of fucking animal dung."
"Shit happens." he uttered with no emotion.
"Shit happens?! Always got a wise crack for everything don'tcha Jeffrey?! Well yes, shit does fucking happen and not just to you. I would love to just sit under a fucking tree, all calm and relaxed, twiddling my fucking thumbs and not give a shit because HEY... shit happens!"
"Back off Parker and pull that stick out of your dick. It's making you cranky." Negan warned with a growl. "The Venus Flytrap could have been towed. Ever think of that? Whatever the explanation, there's not a goddamn thing we can do about it at this time, now is there snarky Parky?"
"Watch your insolent fucking tone! Towed is NOT good because that places the car at my property smart ass and we both know the rest of that clodhopper clan will realize they're missing two of their kin and come snooping around just like they did today over Jo's car!"
"And then we'll make sure they're reunited with their missing loved ones or did you forget who the fuck we are?? I now know where Dwight's ugly mug has been holing up so now I have a damn good reason to go on a little backwoods hunting trip and sniff around like a fucking bloodhound."
"Well you do what needs to be done and I'll go do what needs to be done. Cleaners are here. I'm going to go check in on that mess and then head to my meeting at Pozzulo's that I am now twenty minutes late for and have to explain to Sonny exactly why that is! And you...you can find your own fucking way into town!"
Craig storming exit broke your trance and you ran after him. "Craig please wait!"
He sighed heavily and stopped as you caught up to him behind some brush and stole his hand.
"Are you ok?" you softly asked.
"Is that a rhetorical question??" he spat and then immediately closed his eyes, releasing a softer sigh of remorse. "I'm sorry Jo. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that...you're asking me if I'M alright after what you just saw. I told you not to come. I don't care how many times you've seen these things. I didn't want you to see it with me. I can only imagine what you must think of me now."
"I think no less of you than I do Jason. I carry the same loyalty for you that I do him, especially now and I want to thank you for what you did for me because I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you and Ne..Jeff hadn't intervened. I could have been severely assaulted in more ways than one and possibly even be dead right now."
"Thanking me for what just went down don't even feel right. I'm not proud of it but predators like them need to be put down. How many other women and innocent people have they hurt, or even killed? and they surely weren't going to stop with you and I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone ever hurt you...and Jason's your brother Jo. Of course you would have a bias for him. Me?...I'm no one to you and I think your guilt over Blaise plays a huge role in your graciousness of me."
You weren't sure where it came from, the urge to hug him, but you did it anyways. It was your nerves, you deciphered. They needed the calming effect of his strong safe arms paired with the relaxing aroma of his cologne. The purpose was somewhat challenging though since you had to stand on your tippy toes due to his height which caused you to feel his gun awkwardly pushing against your lower boundaries.
Stunned from the unexpected embrace, Craig hands hesitated for a moment to accept your closeness. The feel of your small soft body against his and the intoxicating cherry scent of your hair in his face was morphing the big tough mob man in to a vulnerable little boy. He so longed for a woman's touch, but not just any woman's. Yours. With reluctance, he permitted his hovering hands to softly lay upon the small of your back.
"Craig...that's not true." you assured into his warm ear. "Of course I feel guilty about Blaise and I always will no matter what you say, especially after seeing the state you were in yesterday, so lost and in so much pain... but Craig, that guilt has nothing to do with what I feel in my heart. I think of you as my friend. I care about you. Is that so hard to believe?"
His hot breath prickled your ear. "Actually it is. You don't even know the details of my upbringing and let us not forget Liz's path of destruction."
After the longer than expected hug, you pulled back, leaving your arms still clasped around his neck and gazed up into his child-like orbs of blue. "Not everyone is out to hurt you Craig. Not everyone is Elizabeth and as far as Cyrus..."
His eyes wandered away from yours. "I don't want to talk about this."
"Craig, I too am a really good listener and have a strong but soft shoulder to lean on as you once told me and...
"Well Jo, your ears are not listening right now damn it!" he suddenly barked as he brought his hands to your upper arms and gave you a harmless warning shake, stunning you but not scaring you in the least.
The way he looked at you though, searching your face with a confused frustration in his gaze, his bold and blazing blues also held a very deep desireful passion when they locked on to your lips. Rendered stiff as a statue, you held your breath, for you could have sworn he was going to kiss you, but he didn't. Instead, he swiftly backed away, placed his hands on his hips and strongly exhaled.
"Why Jo? Why are you so damn persistent and stubborn?"
"And why do you continue to entertain this lifestyle when I can clearly see it's taking a massive toll on you? And working under Sonny no less? What about Blaise WHEN you get her back? Do you want to raise her in this world?"
"Here we go again. Jo...you know I can't get just get out."
"I don't believe that for one minute. The other day, you told me that I'm only stuck if I choose to be. Well, the same applies to you. I know it wouldn't be easy whatsoever, but it can be done... but that's not what I asked you."
You were thinking of both Lee and Luke in that moment and how they had lived a similar life many years ago and managed to leave it behind, but then again...that world was on another continent. This one was right here in Salem where Craig resided AND ran in his family and you knew he didn't do it to make papa proud. Speaking of the devil, Craig then referred to him.
"You met the reason why and he needs to be taken down. Satisfied? Jo, I really have to go. Have Jeff walk you back to your car."
"Fine but this conversation is not over."
He smiled, shook his head and lightly grazed your cheek with his fingertips. "I never believed for one minute that it would be. Take care love."
You watched Craig swagger off through the thicket leading back to the killing fields and once he was gone, you headed back to find Jeff.
"Come on!" Jeff groaned as he urgently fought to undo his uncooperative belt. "I'm gonna need my own goddamn pissin pants in about 2 fucking seconds."
Once he finally freed his manhood, he made no effort to contain his booming moan of relief as he rid his body of the booze he had previously overindulged in during his gardening project at Craig's complex.
Swaying his steaming fluid of gold back and forth in an artful figure 8 pattern, he closed his eyes and chuckled as it blasted into the dead leaves. "If a dude drains the main vein in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? And the answer is...I don't give a flying fuck cause I'm all out of fucks to give."
As he shook off the last few drops, his eyes popped open at the sound of your ghastly gasp. A gasp so great, you could have sworn you swallowed a giant bug and when you both snapped out of the initial shock, Jeffrey, quite utterly amused, took his sweet time to seal himself back up as he watched you bury your face in your hands.
"Jumpin Jehosephine!" He cheerfully jested. "I do believe your eyeballs just leaped from their sockets and rolled right up my dick. What's the matter you sneaky kitten? Never seen a man's junk before?"
"Not yours!!" you yelled in a muffle from underneath your sweaty palms.
He released a cocky snicker. "Now we both know THAT'S not true because YOU just did and I must say, that was one long intense eyeful. I do believe they call that gawking. So what do ya think pussycat? Do I measure up to the simile "hung like a horse?"
Against your will, your filthy warped mind silently answered that he certainly did and you cringed at the perverted thought.
"Oh my god will you just tuck that thing away already so I can turn around??"
You heard a tug of war zipping and a jingling of his buckle. "Voila. The eye of the tiger is all tamed for now but it won't be long before I have to unleash the beast once again. Liquids go through me like a cheap paper towel."
"Then I guess we better get going. Craig wants you to walk me back to my car."
If a pair of eyes rolled so hard that they could have done a complete 360, it was Jeffrey's as he shouted out into the woods in his ongoing bitterness. "Yes Sergeant Pecker. Oh damn, I mean Parker."
As you both began walking, you defended Craig. "You should really take it easy on him right now. He's going through a lot with Blaise missing."
"Right. Well I get that. I do. But you see, Craig likes games, and don't get me wrong, I'm all for that as you may have noticed, but his favorite one is where he likes to play "my dick is bigger than yours" and I can assure you, as you may have ALSO noticed, that I win that game, hands fucking down. He projects too much."
"Are you really dick measuring right now? And how would I know whom is more sizeable??? And.... wait...how would YOU know if your cock is more sizeable???"
"Ohhhh!" he jumped with a flinch and then chortled. "Did you just say...cock?"
You riposted with a comical confidence as you grinned. "What? I can say cock. You don't own the word. Cock...cock...COCK!"
"Apparently you can and will. Guess I am just more accustomed to hearing a man say it. Look at you, you dirty little girl! I just keep liking you more and more. Now...to add clarity to your curiosity, which clearly almost damn near killed the cute as shit cat just now, I know I've got a few inches on him because I've seen it. I mean, are you gonna bullshit me and say you've never seen any of your girlfriend's tits before? Craig drinks a lot, which, no judgment there whatsoever, but when he does, sometimes he puts on indiscreet displays like I just did such as coming out for a drink of water in the middle of the night as nekked as the day he was born."
"Ok well...I mean, that's just your opinion, is it not?
"Well you tell me then. You say you and Craigypoo are just friends but it sure as shit looked like a lot more than that over there in the brush."
"You were...spying on us???"
"Spying is such a strong word. I'd like to think of it more as investigating. You see, Craig and I may be at each other's throats more often than not, but we go back quite a ways and I actually care about his quirky Kiwi ass. He and I are a lot alike, possibly why we connected so easily. We both have been through the ringer in life, mostly due to a man's biggest weakness....women and their evil funnels of love and his ex did a fucking number on him. I don't want to see that happen again and you...well...as I said before, I know when he's catching the deadly pestilence called feelings and I do believe you told me that your heart was already spoken for. Do you see where I'm going with this cupcake? Sweets aren't always good for people. That shit rots your teeth if you aren't careful."
"Well what'ya know? Bad ass Negan is really a softy at heart. Never would have guessed that."
"Look, Craig and I, or anyone for that matter in this business, have to be a bad ass, which I'm sure you know but that doesn't necessarily make us who we are, which I'm sure you also know. When it's time to get down and dirty, just like today, the armor has to be put on nice a fucking thick so that you become bulletproof, metaphorically speaking and it's also to keep the human that resides under all that armor from fucking shit up with their soft spots. Damn good way to bite the dust and all of this can be said for relationships as well. And to be honest...Craig don't belong in this bullshit way of life. It's not who he is. Hell, it's not who I am, but sadly enough, he was born into it and didn't exactly have a choice like the two of you were discussing. And of course, the rebellious prick in him made a choice anyways and it has landed him in one fucked up predicament of being on the opposite side of his father by working for Cyrus' long time and greatest enemy, Sonny and honestly, neither kingpin is the better option. Craig did it for obvious reasons. To spite his father and regain control of his life, but...does he really have it? Not while Cyrus Renault is alive. We all have our reasons for the fucked up shit we do."
"Yeah, I know that has to be one hell of a burden for Craig to carry. I'm actually glad to know you're looking out for him. I know what Liz did to him and she did the same fucking thing to people I love, Jason being one. So I get it. And Craig knows my situation with Lee and how I feel about him so I don't see that he would ever let himself develop any sort of feelings for me."
"The iconic Elvis tune begs the differ, cause the poor fool may not be able to help falling in love with you. Food for thought there naive Nancy. Well, we are back to your car. You uhh...think you could give me a ride to get my bike? I'd love to take a spin in this beastly hotrod and compare it to my baby."
"Your baby? You call your bike your baby?"
"Nah, that's my bitch. My 67 Impala is my baby, my black magic woman but I let my sons have her. I got a truck or two also and a charger."
"S...sons? You have.... kids?"
"Yeah, shocker huh?? It happened not once, but motherfuckin twice while experimenting with the birds and the bees in my youthful days. Believe that shit? Apparently you don't. Your astonishment astounds me. You know, other women didn't find me as "eww" as you do."
"Oh stop it. Sorry. I guess I just didn't peg you to be the daddy type."
"Ohhh I can be all sorts of daddy darlin. Sugar daddy, your daddy, whichever daddy you want honey pie. Damn I love me some pie." he teased in a low snarl as the dimpled grin resurfaced. "So what'ya say miss American Pie. Drive this Chevy to the levee? I'm gonna do some Chevy measuring instead of dick measuring this time but you can bet your sweet round ass that I'll still say mine's better than yours."
"Yeah sure, I'll give you a lift...but umm...what about the missing car?"
Jeff rested his arms on the top of your car and let his squinting eyes wander around in the sun. "Yeahhh. I have a damn good theory about that. Came to me while I was marking my territory. I'll bet my entire ball sack that there was a third little piggy in the backseat of that pigsty and he got spooked when he saw the big bad wolf, yours fucking truly, and that tells me it was none other than Dwighty who chose flighty over fighty and now I'm going to have to go huff and puff and blow his goddamn house in."
"Jesus, if that's true, then..."
"Then he's going to squeal to the hogs which means it won't be long before a pack of passel come sniffin and snortin around here. Looks like I will be going on that hunting trip sooner than later."
"You're going to go alone??? At least take Craig and how are you even going to find them?"
"Did you not see what I just did all by my tall, dark and lonesome? Craig can sit this one out so he can focus on other things. Besides, I won't be alone. This time, the boys, aka the Saviors, will attend AND I'll also have mean, lean, brain bashing machine Lucille. And finding the farrow and that runt Dwight is easy peasy lemon squeazy when you got a photographic memory and Spinelli the cybershark to look up the plates I took note of. Lets get scootin sweet cheeks. I'm gettin all fired up for a grizzly game of pig chase."
"And you call ME trouble?" you giggled and got in the car after he did.
"As I said buttercup, I call things as i see it."
The first five minutes of the ride was quiet as you both were in your own thoughts. Yours were all over the place due to what you had just witnessed and how strangely calm you were about it all. It wasn't normal. You should have been appalled, frightened and traumatized even, like Lee surely was from his past, but you were neither. Normal, something you deeply craved, had never been your life though, from Peter to Gerry to Jason until you met Lee and believed you had finally found it, but even that was too good to be true after learning of his double life. It was like you were a magnet to the dark underworld. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame and all knew how that always ended. All but the moth.
Jeffrey's thoughts were evasive over the day's events. Even he craved normalcy and he was bound and determined to have some every now and then.
"Well, I've concluded that yep, my Chevy's better than your Chevy. No offense there sweetheart. I think this car is the goddamn shit for being twenty years younger, but lets see if the sound system is. You mind if I turn on some music therapy? We still have about ten minutes left."
Your eyes playfully rolled. "Sure."
He turned on the radio and began punching the pre-programmed stations. When he hit the last one, his excitement startled you.
"Ahhhhh HELL GIRL!! This is creepy as shit!! Swift cheeks has spoken! I rest my case!!!" he loudly gloated and obnoxiously began singing. "I knew you were trouble when you walked in!!!"
youtube
"What's creepy as shit is you singing a Taylor Swift song in my car, or even at all. You're a Swifty??"
"Not in the fucking least." he chuckled. "But she's always got something to say and an ex to diss and you just can't fucking escape the madness. She's a music plague but hey, it worked out b...e...a..utiful this time, didn't it? Oh...Ohhhhho Trouble trouble trouble!! Oh Ohhh...."
"Pleeeeeese stop singing Neg..errr Jeffr....or whatever your name really is."
"I thought we already discussed this darlin, but I gather you don't want to go around callin me daddy. You can save that for the bedroom." he teased with a wink. "So...Jeff will do just fine in the meantime."
You had dealt with his rude and raunchy behavior quite well for the entire hour you had even known him but this time he went too far and his sexual statement triggered you.
"Well JEFF...the only person I've ever called daddy or would call daddy is my father so why don't you work on respectfully calling me by my actual name and not a some different pet name every five minutes and back off on the suggestive and disparaging innuendos while you're at it."
His brows sprung up and his lips puckered. "Oooooo. Do...not...ENTERRR." he whispered with a scolded smile and then he shamefully softened.
"Alright...Josie. I stand corrected once again and I do apologize. My remark was so not cool. I tend to get carried away, mostly around beautiful women and clearly I have crossed a line and entered a forbidden territory. I will do my best to address you by your given name, scout's honor, but it's going to be like teaching an old dog new tricks so I will most likely piss on the floor every now and then. Will that work for you?"
"Hmmm. I guess I can give you brownie points for your sincere apology and predetermination to make it right. Oh, and would you like me to stop at the store to pick you up your own pair of pissin pants for when you have those accidents?"
Now his mouth dropped open. "Woah DOWN girl. Will you stop kickin my ass already? I know I said I have nuts of steel but using my own jokes against me hurts my ego much worse than that blow below the belt I took earlier. Let this old dog have a little dignity will ya?"
You pleasantly smiled at your victory as you pulled up in front of the repair shop. "Alright. I guess I can do that after what you did for me."
"Much appreciated. Oh and let me give you my digits before I go. The more wolves you have at your beck and call, the better."
"I suppose that's a good idea with the way my life is going anymore."
The numbers were exchanged and then he got out.
"Jeffrey, wait."
"Yes...Josie?" he emphasized with a grin as he leaned his tall frame down to peer in at you.
"So you were a boy scout?"
His grin widened into a full set of pearly whites. "Nnnnope! Thanks for the lift. See ya later Trouble."
You smiled and shook your head as he tossed his overshirt over his shoulder, then shut the door and swaggered off the same way he had swaggered in.
About ten minutes later, you were heading up the hospital stairs to go see your mom and sister when you found Orlando slouched and sleeping in a chair outside of the room. You couldn't help but giggle as you stood there for a few moments viewing the vulnerable vision of drool lightly leaking from his softly snoring lips as his head laid slumped upon his drooped shoulder and from that shoulder, his arm hung freely to the floor in the basic chair of no side support. One wrong move and he was going to nose dive right out of it.
As you crept up, you made sure you stood at his leaning side so he wouldn't fall in case you startled him and then you placed your hand on his shoulder.
"Landy." you whispered.
The drooling doc drew in a snorting breath and flinched as he gaped up at you.
"It's ok. It's ok. It's just me." you assured him and then chuckled. "What are you doing out here sleepy head? Wasn't your shift over hours ago?"
He slowly sat up and stretched, still not quite alert as his eyes flitted. "Oh uh...yeah I...it was. I've been watching over your sister for your mum while she went home and refreshed. She said you were supposed to be here soon so I coaxed her to go by offering to stay until one of you returned."
His kind heart had you gushing. "Landy, that was so sweet of you. You didn't have to do that but thank you for looking out for my family. I'm here now. You should go home and sleep. You look so exhausted."
He yawned, then his brows frowned with embarrassment as he became aware of his saliva remnants and swiftly swiped it away with his thumb. "Yeah. I am a little but...I'm in no rush to go home with Luke still lingering around being a bigger douche than usual with this whole Elizabeth case and besides, I wanted to see you. You ok?"
"Definitely been better, but..fake it until you make it right? So, is Megan awake?" you asked as you peeked in her window, trying to avoid any and all conversations about Luke, especially about how he almost arrested you which could spark another blow up between the two feuding brothers.
"On and off but she hasn't been talking much with being all doped up. You know you don't have to fake anything with me right? If you wanna talk, cry, scream or even just sit together in silence...I'm here Jo. Always."
You felt the sting of happy tears wanting to form but you weren't about to allow anymore crying, so instead, you smiled and hugged him.
"You're the best, you know that? Thank you for helping me out yesterday. I hope you didn't get too much shit for being late."
He gave you a good squeeze and sighed against your ear. "It was all worth it. I'd do anything for you."
As you smiled in the close and comforting embrace, your eyes lifted to see someone who was not smiling. Your mother.
"Well, that is very kind of you and reassuring Dr. Bloom." the fiery haired Margaret March respectfully interjected, but with a passive aggression as her judging eyes locked on him. "I appreciate your offered supervision of Megan and I thank you for your consistent succor of my other daughter but she has the good Dr. Pace for that and I am sure you have your own responsibilities to tend to instead of spending your extra time fussing over your best friend's partner."
"Mommm!" you harshly stressed. "Can you be any more rude? Landy is my friend too and that's all he's doing is being a friend because that's what friends do."
"It is not my intentions to be rude Joey. I just find it strange that I see more of him around you than I do Lee and I have to wonder what Dr. Bloom's own intentions are and maybe your own as well Josephine."
"Oh my god mom...."
Orlando politely cut in, calm and cool with a smile that you saw right through. "It's alright Jo. Your mum is only looking out for your best interest and now I am going to go look out for mine with about 4 cups of coffee before I attempt to drive home."
"But...you don't have your car. I drove you here, remember? I can give you a ride in awhile."
Orlando felt Margaret's eyes burning right through him, warning him to decline. "No really Jo. Thank you but it's fine. I can call a cab. I'll...talk to you later."
He gave a glum smile and rushed off, leaving you fuming with slitted eyes at your mother. "That was just flat out mean mom!"
"What's mean is you not telling Lee about what happened to Megan or not even speaking to him at all for that matter."
"W..what? How do..."
"Yes...he called me in an attempt to locate you and of course I didn't dare tell him you spent the night with David...which..why were you not with Lee??"
"Jesus mom. What...you have a problem with Dave now too?? All we did was watch a movie and then went to bed...separately."
"What I have a problem with is, is your closeness with other men even if they are good friends. I know I sound hypocritical but I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did when you already have a damn good man who adores you. Would you like to see Lee canoodling with other women? How would that make you feel?"
But you did know how it felt when you found out about his one nighter with Britt all those years ago or when you saw him "canoodling" with that Jess girl in his boat house who you went to school with... and then there was Ethan.
"Canoodling??!!! I am not screwing around on him mom, nor would I ever because I know what that feels like and he's also had that done to him as well and...and you don't even know what's going on with Lee so it would be nice if you would stop acting like I'm doing something wrong."
"Well how hard is it to talk to your boyfriend?"
And that did it. You couldn't take it anymore, withholding the tears that begged for Lee and your mother had triggered them. "He's the one who don't know how to communicate mom and that's actually one of the reasons I'm here because I don't know what to do anymore and I needed my mom to tell me what to do!"
You were now sitting in the chair Orlando had skillfully slept in with your hands over your face, rocking back and forth to keep yourself breathing.
The grinding of chair legs closed in on you and your mother's soft hands pulled yours down as she sat at your side. Her evergreen eyes that always appeared to be walnut brown and had been spewing daggers at Orlando only moments ago, were now moist with compassion as she tenderly wiped your tears away.
"You know that I cannot tell you what to do but I can listen and offer you the best advice that I can. What happened Jo Jo? You and Lee seemed so happy."
You knew you couldn't tell her the full blown detailed story, so you gave her a brief summary instead, being careful not to make Lee out to be a bad person because he wasn't and you knew anything that you told her, she would never forget just like she hadn't with Gerry.
"We..we were Ma but...there's things he won't talk to me about. Things that are eating him up inside and these things affect me too which is affecting us and any time that he does open up to me, he withholds the most important parts, although he will swear he told me everything and then I find out about them later and now I...I..."
She finished what you struggled to say. "You don't trust him."
Sighing, your lips pouted with guilt. "I..I can't help it. I DID trust him, more than anyone. So much so that I told him things I have never spoken to anyone about...you know, like...Gerry and all the secrets and lies and...Lee would tell me things from his past too. We connected in a way I cannot even describe. We were so good for each other. It was as if we were healing the damaged parts of each other and god mom, I fell so hard and so fast for him. I'm so crazy in love with him that it hurts to breathe when he's not around."
"I will not ask you to tell me the details, but without knowing them, I can only offer you so much advice. I know what Gerry did and now I do have to ask this much. Joey, did Lee cheat on you?"
"Oh god no." you quickly blurted out. "It's nothing like that mom. I swear. He would never, that much I trust him with. I know how much he loves me and he's fighting like hell not to lose me but I just don't know what to do. I can't be with someone that will not fully give themselves to me. I can't live with waiting for the next bomb to drop because I am always going to believe there is one coming. I don't care about anything he's done and I told him that. This is about trust and honesty and being a team and all I feel like is his opponent."
Margaret's mind wandered to the day when Lee had asked for her blessing to marry you. She had given it to him because she could see that he too was crazy in love with you, but she had also given the blessing with warning not to hurt you and now she understood why he hadn't asked you yet.
"Whatever it is that Lee is concealing, I feel that is why he is distancing himself from you. I do not doubt for a minute that he does not love you with all of his heart and soul, but speaking from my own experiences, I feel he has been deeply hurt in some way, just as you had been and he's just having more difficulty in getting past it and believing that you won't judge him even when you say that you won't. He may even be trying to protect you by pushing you away because maybe he feels he isn't good enough for you?"
You knew it was all of that and most likely much more, but now you wanted to know how her experiences were relevant. "Is...is that what happened between you and Victor?"
"I had a feeling this is why you have chosen to come to me about this and I'm not really sure how to have this conversation with you because of your father. It was all such a painful time and I thought I was going to lose my family over it all..."
"But you didn't. Daddy forgave you and you both got through it because you..."
"Because Victor gave me no choice." she firmly stated and became a bit shaky.
"W..what?"
Her eyes became glassy with tears. "There's a reason people sometimes do not speak of things Jo and this was why I did not. I too have withheld the entire truth to spare my family of unnecessary pain. I...I was in love with Victor and he with me. I...I still love him."
You knew she loved him, but it still stung to hear her say it as you squeezed her hand that still bore your father's wedding ring.
"Mom...I knew this and although I do not condone what you did, the heart wants what the heart wants." you attested as you thought of Lee's identical words to you that morning in his voicemail. "We cannot help who we love and well...you and Victor also share a son because of that love."
She began to softly weep. "I loved your father too and Victor knew it. He demanded I stay with him when I learned I was with child because I made him believe Bo was not his, which I did to protect your father's heart. He wanted me to live a normal family life, one that he could not give me because of his world. A world of crime and lies and secrets and danger. A world that later kept Bo and him at odds just as it did between Jason and Bo and even Gerry had and still has his issues with his father over it. Sometimes I feel Bo was taken from us to punish me for what I did and for keeping his paternity a secret for all those years and that loss changed Victor a lot. He became darker. I suppose Lee can relate after suffering the loss of his own son. Anyways, Victor knew he could never give himself fully to me either and he wanted me to be safe and I know that's why Jason did the same thing to Britta. I know I made the right decision in choosing your father and I do not regret it at all or I would not have all of my precious children but the what if's will always haunt me and I don't want that for you. I don't doubt your love for Lee but you have to be the one to decide if that's enough. For me, it would have been but I couldn't fight for someone who wouldn't let me and you're not letting Lee fight for you by running away so all I can tell you is, before you let the love of your life go, you need to ask yourself if you can live with that because it seems to me that Lee sees you as forever."
Forever. That word punched a hole right through your chest...but now...you knew you had to go see him and give him that third and final chance to come clean.
As you took your phone out to call him, Megan's cries pierced through the halls.
"Mommm!! Momma Mom MOMMM!!!"
Margaret went running into her room as you stood in the doorway and watched your distressed sister cry like a baby in her mother's arms.
"It's alright. I am here my darling girl. So is joey. You are safe."
Megan's welled up eyes darted around your mom's shoulders to look at you and then she cried even harder.
"You're probably happy and think I got what I deserve and you would be right after everything I have done."
You now stepped into the room, hating that you actually felt sorry for her. "That's not true Megan. No matter what you've done, you did not deserve this."
"Yes I d..did." she bawled. "You don't even know and...and...and you need to know...oh god, my leg...it hurts. It hurts so bad mom."
Your mother then took over to try and calm her as she pushed the call button for the nurse. "Megan, lets not talk right now alright? You need to be checked out. You had surgery on your leg. It is broken."
"But I want to talk! I...I did something so bad."
Now you were highly intrigued and walked up to her bed. "Was it Ethan? Did he make you do something? Did he...did he do this to you?"
"Josephine. Not now. Give her time to breathe!" your mother squawked and got up to look out the door as your sister's sobs continued. "She needs pain medication and where the hell is the nurse?? This is ICU for christ's sake."
Nothing good came from your mother's curses so you backed off for the moment, but when an opportunity arose, you were going to grill your sister over her statement because nothing good came from Megan period. Maybe some drugs would get her talking, you thought as you glanced at the ticking clock. You had just over an hour to meet Lee at the cemetery but you were not leaving there without answers.
Finally, the nurse came in. It was Angel and you became unglued. "Oh hell no! You will not lay one one sleezy finger on my sister you morbid insufferable bitch."
Megan's eyes widened as did your mother's. "Josephine Leeanne March! What on earth has gotten into you??" Margaret reeled.
"This!! This succubus right here is what. She couldn't even handle caring for a 4 year old little girl who is now missing because Lilith here was too busy coming on to my boyfriend and then when he shot her down, she was spreading her legs all of that night for Mr. Carpenter, the man who accused Lee of medical malpractice in the death of his daughter which we all knew wasn't true but it didn't stop her from repeatably banging the abusive lunatic who damn near ruined Lee's career and reputation all for money."
Your mother knew you very well and although she knew you could be extreme as you were being now, she knew you would not lie and the information repulsed her.
"Nurse Smart. I would like you to retrieve my daughter's doctor and find another nurse to administer her treatment. I will not allow such conflict of interest in my daughter's well being because it causes me to believe you may not be able to be objective. Had I been aware of this the last time you were in here, I would have put a stop to it then."
"Mrs. March, I assure you that...."
"Your assurance assures me of nothing, now please LEAVE."
Angel's jaw tightened and her eyes practically set you on fire. "As you wish. I will inform the other nurse to come in and page her doctor."
She left and you apologized. "Sorry mom. That woman is bad news and I couldn't hold my tongue."
"Well, you were looking out for your sister so I can let the theatrics slide, but I am very glad you said something regardless."
Megan became upset again. "I wanna go home Momma. I don't like it here. I don't want to end up like Elizabeth. Please take me home!!"
"Honey, you just had surgery. You have to stay for awhile but I will be right here with you. No one is going to hurt you. I promise."
You wished that were true but you couldn't be certain until Megan named her attacker. Another nurse finally came in, checked her vitals, asked her a few questions and then shot her up with some more morphine which didn't take long to work it's magic.
"Mom, I can't stand it anymore." you contended against her wishes. "Megan...who did this to you?"
She whimpered in fear as she looked to your mom for approval. "It's alright Megan. Whatever you can remember, whatever you're comfortable with telling us, please do so. We want to know what happened and stop whoever did this from doing it to someone else."
"Megs...look at me." you softly commanded. "Was it Ethan?"
Her brows furrowed and then she became agitated. "I...I don't...know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Surely you must have seen your abductor?"
She broke down again. "I...I...I keep trying to picture his face but I can't."
Your mom took her hand. "Ok..ok my love. Just breathe and try to tell us what you do remember. Anything at all."
"I...I re..remember...Dave. He...he was helping me and then...and then I woke up here."
You were trying so hard to remain patient and understanding. "But how did you get there? What is the last thing that you remember before you saw Dave?"
"I...the police station. I..I was talking to that detective about Blaise. I went there to tell him that I thought Ethan may have taken her because I couldn't stand the thought of that poor little girl being scared and crying for her mommy and Ethan...he...he has no business being a father. He is so mean and controlling. He always talked about how he would have her one day so I..I had to try and help her."
"He has no business breathing. You don't even know half of the things he's done. Or maybe you do since you were sleeping with the enemy."
"JoSEPHINE!" your mother piped again.
"Sorry but it's true...so...ok what happened after that?"
"I...." she paused and her entire face scrunched up in forced thought. "I...I don't know. It's all a fog."
"Alright, lets give her a break Jo. She needs time to..." your mom began.
"There is no time mom! You know what Jason was involved in so let me clue you in about Ethan. He's in that life too, only he is a monster. He's the one that attacked his own brother with a knife, you know, Orlando? The one you just berated. He's lucky it was only his hand and that I was there to stop it and Ethan has done other things to Lee that I will not even mention and now this! My sister is in the hospital, lucky to be alive and my landlord's child is missing so Megan needs to start talking!"
"Jo, I swear. I can't remember right now. I'm trying...but..."
"But what???"
"But...I don't...I don't think it was Ethan."
"What do you mean you don't think it was Ethan?? You just said you don't even remember."
"Because I...it...it don't feel like it was him?" Megan explained as if she were questioning herself.
"That makes no damn sense. Either it was him or it wasn't Megan! I mean, who the hell else would it be???"
"I said I don't know Jo. It's literally all blank after I left the police station. It's like having a blackout from drinking."
Her words made you recall the recent experience you had only two days ago when you took your anxiety medication and drank a bottle of wine and strangely...it was the around same time that she went missing.
"Could you have been drugged?? Think Megan. Mom, did the doctor do a toxicology? Surely they would have."
"I have not been told anything about that. When I got here, she was already in surgery and after you left, the police were speaking with him and wouldn't tell me anything. When the doctor comes in, I will ask."
Luke probably knew since he was the one doing the questioning last night but he wasn't going to tell you now that he was a big bad boy in blue, minus the blue.
"Or." your mom went on. "She just don't remember because of the trauma so I think the questions are enough for today."
"Just a few more mom. Ok, Megan. What about BEFORE the police station. What do you remember? Where was Ethan then?"
"I...don't...know."
"So you remember going there, but nothing before or after until Dave. What the hell Megan? Why wouldn't you remember anything before that?? You remembered that Elizabeth is dead and that happened BEFORE!"
She was becoming disconcerted and anxious and the heart rate monitor began chiming."
"I don't know. I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!!!" she cried and your mom finally stood up and angrily pointed at you.
"That is ENOUGH JO!"
"Alright fine. Then at least tell me what you meant when you said you did something bad."
"Damn it Joey, you are not too old for me to pull you out of this room by your ear!"
"No mom. I want to talk to her. Alone." Megan insisted.
"What? Absolutely not. You're already upset."
"Mom please. I...I need to tell her something private. It has nothing to do with this."
"Then can't it wait? Why now?"
She began bawling. "Because I'm a liar."
Now you were unsettled. Megan's lies were a common thing that you were used to but this...this seemed different. She said it had nothing to do with any of this so what bomb was she going to drop on you and why now like your mom asked? Maybe it was her near death experience that was actually giving her a conscience. Whatever it was, it was bad just like she said because she was genuinely distressed over it.
"Alright, but only 5 minutes. I'm going to go find the damn doctor myself."
After your mom left, you sat down in her seat and went straight to the point. "What did you do Megan? Just spit it out. After the things I've been through and things you've done to me, I can handle it."
"I...I don't think you can. Not this time."
"Jesus Megan, I don't scare all too easily but now you are scaring me. Did...you lie just now to mom? Do you really remember and...you and Ethan maybe did something bad? Wait...do you KNOW where Blaise is???"
"No Jo! I don't and I didn't lie. I told you it's not about that."
"Then WHAT did you DO??"
She started trembling and her lips quivered as she spoke. "I do remember something from awhile ago. At mom's and..."
"AND???"
"Please stop shouting, please stop shouting." she squeaked as she winced.
You closed your eyes, inhaled deeply and slowly released the desire to strangle her scrawny little neck right then and there. "OK...I'm calm....tell..me."
"It was the day...that Gerry was there. I was home but...you didn't know and I...I heard you both talking. It was about...about what, well that night..that night when..."
"Will you stop stuttering and just tell me what Gerry has to do with anything??"
"Ok, Ok...I..." she sucked in a breath and then began rapidly speaking, reminding you of how Spinelli did that when he was extremely nervous, usually from being cornered. "It was about when he cheated on you with me, except...except he...he didn't. He never did. We never did and I lied. I lied about it all to hurt you because you always had all the men and I was a nobody and always used. No one ever cared for me like they did you so I...I...followed him to the bar that night. He was upset and drinking because of how you had been shot the month before and you both were having problems over it. We sat and drank and he told me all about it because he said you wouldn't talk to him much about it and he felt so guilty that it happened and he...he was crying Jo, just like I saw him sitting in his truck crying after you guys argued at mom's and you took off, only that time I felt bad because you had Lee and he had no one and that was because of me because I...I drugged him Jo and then I took him home because he was in no shape to drive and I...I put on your perfume and came onto him, but he..he rejected me and passed out. I was angry because even then, he didn't want me so I sent you that text from his phone and you believed it and he believed it because he couldn't remember anything when he woke up the next morning lying next to me, both of us naked because I..I undressed him to make it seem real and then you were pounding on his door and..."
You stood up so fast that the chair fell over. Your chest was so tight and your heart was racing. Your entire body violently shook and you couldn't speak as burning tears streamed from your gaping eyes. It was if you had been knocked into some other dimension from the shocking blow.
Margaret immediately came in from the sound of the crashing chair. "Joey?? What's happened? Jo?? Josephine, talk to me!"
Her voice and Megan's crying all echoed as you became giddy upon your feet. You were either going to pass out or go to jail over a moment of temporary insanity and you didn't want either so you stumbled out the door and began running, panting, hyperventilating as you heard her screams fading the further you got.
"Jo I'M SORRY!! I'M SO SORRY!!!"
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I really wish there had been one more episode between Adrift and Fragments in series 2.
I know Adrift isn't really a favorite episode but it leaves some huge unanswered question and does some really interesting character advancement for Gwen. But because Fragments comes next, nothing gets done with any of that.
One of the unanswered questions is: Do Owen and Tosh know about Flat Holm? I think it's easily plausible both ways.
If they know about it, they also are probably very aware of the limitations of such a facility and also the potential consequences (emotional and security-wise) of letting civilians or family members know about it. I wouldn't be surprised if they were told that Flat Holm was need-to-know. (I wouldn't put it past Jack to tell them separately, so they both think no one else knows.) In any case, if they know about Flat Holm, I think by this time in series 2 they would also be able to gauge what Gwen's reaction would be and how she would try and push the limits of this project, when it's already pretty much as good as it can get, considering the nature of, well, everything.
On the other hand, it makes sense that Ianto knows about Flat Holm if he's doing secretarial duties like expenses and supply runs and things like that, and that it was hidden from everyone else.
And then, if they didn't know about it before, were they told about Flat Holm after? Did Gwen tell them? Or Jack? Or Ianto? I imagine they would react in a more reasonable way than Gwen. Perhaps they'd offer some suggestions for changes but I don't think they'd push much.
The other question is, what's Ianto's motive? And what was Jack's response? We know Ianto pointed Gwen to Flat Holm and we know Jack figures it out, but we don't see them talk about it after. Did Ianto give her clues because he knew she wouldn't stop pushing? Did he give her clues because he thought her knowledge of the facility would be helpful? Was he trying to teach her the exact lesson that she learns in the end? How did Jack react when he got back? What was the conversation between them? It's the first time since Lisa that Ianto deliberately defied Jack and went behind his back about something. That's gotta be a pretty intense blow to their relationship and trust, at least in that it will bring up old wounds.
And the entire episode like I said is some interesting character advancement for Gwen. This is the first time her pushing truly and spectacularly blows up in her face in a way that cannot be fixed at all. For the most part every time she fucks up or goes to far either Jack/the team are able to save the day, or she fumbles it back. This time, the damage is done on a level that she can't undo, and she learns that sometimes you can't do more, that it's better not to know things, that sometimes her actions of "caring" do more harm than good, and learns that there's a lot more to Jack and Ianto and the whole business of running Torchwood than she thought.
I just wish there was one more "regular" episode in between Adrift and Fragments, where we get to see how those realizations might have altered how Gwen saw or functioned in the job, and how Jack and Ianto's relationship might have been affected, and stuff like that.
I mean, I know that's what fanfiction is for, of course, but I'd be so interested to know what the actual showrunners would have done with it. Mainly because the trajectory all the characters were going in in the latter half of series 2 was actually pretty interesting, and then it just screeches to a halt.
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3Below//Krel Tarron x Depressed!Reader
A/N: Re-watching 3Below has reignited my love for Krel. There also aren't any Krel x depression out there so fuck it ima do it myself. For these headcanons, I imagine the reader to have Major Depressive Disorder as opposed to any other kind of depression bc that's what I have. Enjoy!
TW: S//H, S//I, Adult Language
Another warning will be placed before sections containing the above.
Words: 2485
"Read More Link” placed due to length.
Krel Tarron x S/O w/Major Depressive Disorder
At first, Krel would not understand. That is, he wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you have depression.
His knowledge of human sociology and behaviors is very limited when he and his sister first land on Earth. However, even after he’s spent months here he still struggles to understand and pick up on social cues.
So even though you exhibit very obvious signs of depression — i.e. lack of energy/appetite, excessive sleeping, and loss of enjoyment in activities — Krel doesn’t suspect anything inherently wrong with you. He thinks that your personality is just different from your other human counterparts.
And to be fair, for as long as he’s known you, you’ve always acted this way (because you were depressed-).
You would definitely have to tell him you’re depressed because otherwise, he would never figure it out. You ended up telling him during a period of lucidity where you didn’t feel too bad and were conscious of his lack of understanding of your behavior.
As you tell him, Krel stares at you intently, committing everything you're telling him to memory.
Now he really doesn’t understand.
This whole time he thought you just have a different temperament from the other humans at your school, but in reality, you were suffering from a serious illness that he had no idea you had.
Tbh, Krel’s not ok for a few days after you tell him. For a brief moment, he’s angry that you didn’t tell him sooner, but he quickly understands why and his anger dissolves into sadness. He feels so terrible about not picking up on the fact that you’re constantly in pain and that he’s done nothing to help you.
Krel spends the next few days after you told him researching all about depression and other similar mental illnesses. He’s honestly a little fascinated by how many illnesses there are lmao. It’s just that on Akaridia-5, there aren’t illnesses like that, so he’s happy to learn something new (even if it’s not under more favorable conditions).
Krel has a lot of questions about your flavor of depression for when you’re mentally ready to answer such questions.
Tbh, he’s a little insensitive with some of his questions, but that’s just because he doesn’t know any better. Correct him (politely) and he’ll make sure to be nicer with his questions.
Not much changes dynamic-wise; Krel’s still your loving boyfriend, the same way that you’re still his loving significant other.
He does make it a habit to compliment you every time he sees you. Whether it be a compliment about your looks, your school work, or even something as small as “I’m happy to see you today,” he really tries to boost your confidence in hopes that you feel better about yourself.
He also tries to be around you more often, both to make sure you’re ok and to show you that he’s there for you.
Krel becomes better at predicting when you’re about to enter a depressive episode. Having been around you for so long and now knowing what the warning signs are, he’s very good at guessing when you’re entering certain episodes (sometimes even before you know. Scary, huh?)
When you enter depressive episodes, Krel does everything he can to make sure he’s there for you, both physically and mentally. He will hold you close to him with all four of his arms while he listens carefully to what is troubling you.
Krel still doesn’t quite understand the emotions involved in depression. Like many other people, he believed that it was just constant sadness, but the more he read and spoke with you about the matter, the more complex it all became. Sadness, despair, emptiness, fear, anger, jealousy, all emotions that he’s never really felt in full. Not to mention other even more nuanced emotions such as paranoia and shame that he’s actually never felt at all.
Krel is also very good at helping you through mood swings. He’s come to understand that all humans fluctuate between many different emotions, sometimes in a short period of time. He knows when you want him close to you and knows when you want space.
If you are someone who is very mature with how you explain how you’re feeling, -- like telling someone you’re mad at them, why you’re mad, and that you want space to cool off/talk with them about it -- Krel has an easier time responding to you. He’s much less likely to misinterpret your feelings and what you want.
Krel actually learned how to vocalize his own emotions from you whenever he’s distressed or upset which definitely opened you two up for a much more healthy form of communication.
He just struggles with emotions in general, but he makes the effort to understand for you :)
TW: S//H, S//I
If Krel ever gets even a hint that you’re hurting yourself, his mental walls would fall and he’d collapse in on himself.
If there is someone who is threatening or hurting you, he, his sister, and Varvatos can easily get rid of them. If you are sick, he can help treat you until you are better. Even if you do something as small as scraping your knee, he can be there to put a bandage over it.
But yourself? He can’t protect you from yourself. He doesn’t know what to do and that scares him so much.
After what happened with his parents, he is very grateful for the lives of those he loves as he understands just how easily they can be taken away from him. He is afraid that one day you will be gone and all that will remain is him.
Krel would have found out about your self-harm either on his own or someone tipping him off about it. You just didn’t have it in you to tell him yourself.
Krel then begins to really try and learn human medicine. He would spend hours reading medical articles, watching first-aid videos, and taking copious notes about everything he learns, even if it grosses him out a bit (organic organisms were never really something he was interested in before).
He tries to come up with other things you can do when you feel like hurting yourself; Drawing/coloring, writing, reading, playing games, anything that will distract you. He’s always sending you ideas especially when he’s not with you and knows how you’re feeling.
And to both of your credits, your self-harm does lessen in both severity and quantity. But unfortunately, it doesn’t always help since old habits die hard.
Krel is there in an instant to help you when you relapse assuming you tell him you need help. Even if you decide not to tell him immediately and care for yourself that day/night, Krel almost always finds out sometime after and worries over you about it.
His hours spent learning first aid pay off when goes to treat your wounds; Cuts, burns, bruises, bites, you’re convinced that Krel can treat any minor injury. And you’re grateful for that.
Krel is thorough about disinfecting any open wounds with hydrogen peroxide or Neosporin over burns and is incredibly gentle when wrapping them in gauze. He likes to check on them every few days as well to make sure they’re healing correctly.
He holds you close to him afterward -- all four arms wrapped around you and face pressed into your neck/shoulder -- and begs you not to leave him. At first, you’re confused thinking he meant, like, break up with him. It isn’t until you give it more thought that you realize that he doesn’t want to leave him through death.
If you ever express feelings of guilt -- whether verbal or through body language -- Krel quickly dismisses them from your mind by telling you how he wants to help you and how much he loves you. That he wouldn’t bother doing all of this if he didn’t see anything of substance in you.
If you ever express a desire to die, -- whether through suicide or some freak accident -- Krel will look cool on the outside but on the inside, he will be panicking. As hard as he may try, Krel could never understand why you want to die.
Even if you explain it to Krel -- Everyone and everything that troubles you and the awful guilt you constantly feel by just being alive -- he believes that there is always a reasonable and achievable solution to your problems. It’s not that he’s trying to downplay your problems or your emotions, he’s just naturally more of a rational thinker even under stress.
But even though he doesn’t understand the emotions themselves, he does understand that human emotions can elicit other undesirable responses and thoughts.
Krel will constantly tell you how much he loves you and that he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if you were dead.
He does what he can to push those thoughts from your head.
As written earlier, Krel likes to spend time with you in person. Not just because he loves you sm but also because it makes it easier to keep an eye on you and intervene when necessary.
Def says something along the lines of, “I’m happy you’re alive.” And the first time he said that you cried so hard he thought he insulted you lmao. You had to explain to him that you weren’t insulted but relieved and overjoyed.
Krel is not the most emotionally intelligent person out there, but he tries to be and is willing to understand them for you.
When you had shown up at school with a busted lip, bloody and bruised knuckles, and a dull gash on your cheek, Krel freaked the fuck out. The moment he spotted you walking to your locker from his own locker he was all over you.
“What happened?” Krel cried while gently taking your face into one of his hands while the other went to grab your hand.
“It’s nothing,” You mutter, pulling your face out of his grasp and taking a step back. Krel scoffed, looking almost offended while saying,
“Nothing? Nothing did that to you?”
“I just-” You start, raising your hands up in defense before dropping them at your sides, “I got in a fight with Steve. It was over something stupid. We’ve known each other for most of our lives; I just worry about him.” You cross your arms to hold onto yourself and look anywhere Krel isn’t. Krel moved his head so that it was in your line of vision, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“I take it you don’t want to talk about it?” He asked. You nod ‘yes,’ and Krel frowns.
“I won’t push you then, but I really want to get you treated,” He says, taking a step closer to you. You stay where you are and allow him to hold your hands.
“Later, I’ll be fine for now,” You say while bringing up one of his hands to kiss the top of it, “You can have Aja or even Mother patch me up after school.”
Krel looks at your knuckle hesitantly before agreeing, trusting that you truly would be fine until after the school day.
The moment the last bell rang he made a beeline to find you and ran you to his house as quickly as possible. The two of you were the only ones home when you got there, so Krel wasted no time in having one of the blanks retrieve a first aid kit. Once given to him, Krel attempts to treat your injuries but fails pretty miserably.
You end up showing him how to clean and wrap different kinds of cuts and bruises. It’s when you’re in the middle of cleaning your knuckles in the sink that Krel says something that makes your stomach drop.
“Mother, can you scan Y/N for any more injuries, please?”
“Wha-Mother! You don’t have to do that!” You shout panicked and covered your arms in a vain attempt to conceal your other injuries.
“Numerous other injuries found upon Y/N in the upper arm, forearm, and thigh regions. Approximately 27 cuts to the epidermis and 3, 1st-degree burns found.”
“What!?” Krel turned around so fast to face you, you swear you saw his electric blue hair whip from the air, “Where?! I demand you show me!”
“No!” You cry back panicked, hands gripping the side of the sink behind you. Krel scowls and grows before shouting,
“Mother, show me a hologram of where the injuries are on Y/N!”
“My King-in-waiting, It would seem that I have breached a highly sensitive topic on behalf of Y/N. I believe it best that they discuss it with you themself.” Mother responds. Krel sighs, his upper right hand running through his hair.
“Y/N,” He starts, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m really worried.” He carefully walks over to you but leaves a foot of space between the two of you.
“Will you please show me where you’re hurt?” He asks quietly. Your eyes begin to burn with tears and your mouth opens to explain yourself before shutting quickly with a ‘clank’ of your teeth. Unable to speak, you place your hands into his lower ones, palms up, and nod your head. Gently, Krel’s other hands push your long sleeves higher up your arms, and he’s baffled at the numerous cuts he sees littering your arms. There were many different colors, thicknesses, lengths, and stages of healing -- some were a day old while others were weeks old. He ran his thumb over one of the older ones.
“Wha…” Krel stutters, eyes dancing over your arms, “What are these? What-Who did this?” His eyes flicker up to yours.
Your jaw twitches -- wanting to speak but unable to -- and you pull one of your hands away from his to point to yourself. Krel’s eyebrows furrow.
“I-I don’t understand,” He whispers, his own eyes beginning to water, “I want to understand.”
“I did this,” You mumble out, pulling your other hand away from his, “I am…ashamed.” Tears begin to fall and you scrub gently at your eyes to dry them.
“You-You did this?” Krel asks, confused and stunned, “You willingly hurt yourself? Why?”
You heave out a few breaths trying to figure out how to relay your emotions to him. While difficult to say, you manage to squeeze out three words.
“I hate-” You stammer, “I hate myself.”
And Krel is immediately embracing you.
“I love you,” He says, cupping your face in his upper hands and staring into your eyes with his other two around your waist, “I love you so much. Please don’t ever say you hate yourself.”
Gently, he kisses your forehead, your cheek, and then your lips.
The two of you are left a sobbing mess of tender skin and emotion in the kitchen for Varvatos and Aja to find later when they arrive home.
#3below#tales of arcadia#toa#toa 3below#krel tarron#krel tarron x reader#krel#krel x reader#aja tarron#varvatos vex#toa x reader#3below x reader#tales of arcadia x reader#thewildsophia writes
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