#is he literally the same person as their Father like in the bible? ??
Text
How Chilchuck Expresses Care through Self-Destructive Privacy, and the Desire for Responsibility and Control after Experiencing Prejudice: An Analysis
Long Post + Manga Spoilers + Discussions of Fantasy Racism
I want to discuss how while Chilchuck’s private nature is implied inherent, it is still clearly a result of his work and experiences with racism;
Those experiences shaped his sense of responsibility and desire for control. And I think those affect how he views privacy as an act of care, in addition to defense mechanism.
————
His inherent privacy:
We know he has always been caring yet callous, there-for-others yet afar. Every known interaction with his daughters has been that of a worry or reprimand. This is further established by Marcille’s speculation he has always been “bashful”, even to his wife.
Chilchuck was exploring dungeons for 11 years before his wife left him. She left 1 year after Chilchuck formed the Half-foot Guild. A time when Chilchuck is becoming more invested in his work, and in turn garnering both the hate and respect of many.
This is pure speculation, but I think that timing is interesting; because from Marcille’s fantasy, Chilchuck’s wife worried about all she didn’t know. And gaining the responsibility of union leader would amp that… maybe to the point it seems work is becoming as important as family.
So, not only is Chil’s wife thinking he prefers his work because it’s lively and she’s boring (Marcille’s fantasy), but she’s seeing how important he is to it, and it to him. Which is why he finally opened up after a decade.
And, of course, Chilchuck thought that if he doesn’t talk to her about work, she’ll worry less. But that only made her worry more.
His mindset that openness brings harm was then firmly cemented by her leaving. Because introducing her to his colleagues was being open. (Marcille says this in Bicorn but I can’t add the image.)
————
So why does Chilchuck not want people to worry about him? And how does race play into that?
To Chilchuck, emotional vulnerability is the same as his physical vulnerability. His attitude is beyond the result of “hard work toughens you over time”. He has to be stand-offish because it’s literally his only defense.
The way Kui wrote Chilchuck was to be the most subverted of stereotypes, yet still victim to prejudice. No matter how hard he tried.
He is a father. He is the most mature of the party. He likes alcohol and hates sweets. He talks about women. Given race relativity, he is oldest and tallest of the party. He could not behave older if he wanted. And yet, he is viewed at surface level, a child.
Also, when the other half-foots do recognize his age and autonomy, he gets labeled as the other half-foot stereotype: greedy.
Chilchuck knows, unlike Mickbell, that half-foots shouldn’t use how they’re perceived as a child to their advantage. It only adds to the greedy stereotype, it will never bring change. He wants change because he’s experienced the most.
So he takes the responsibility of setting an example of dominance, regardless of those opinions of him, because he knows he has the agency many half-foots don’t, according to Adventurer’s Bible.
And he’s viewed as greedy despite the guild’s selfless intent. Reminder, it was founded to protect Half-foots from being disposable. (+ the naivety of his youth shows how much his experiences have compounded his nature, no matter how “bashful” he started.)
Chilchuck aims to protect his people. And knows he’s the person suited for that. Which is why he wants to help Half-foots before his retirement.
He is highly aware of his place, because he’s so often “put into place” due to his race. He’s particular in how everyone has a specific duty to uphold, frequently reiterating it fact in Kakiage. (I’ll elaborate on his pride in this later.)
————
This leads to how he prioritizes others before himself.
Group over the individual, a mindset built from being a union leader and a father. A mindset from responsibility. (Again, responsibility fostered by prejudice.)
Obviously, Chil doesn’t think he should be a “lure” or “bait”, but his job is essentially testing death so others don’t.* His party role is a selfless one.
The others need to worry about him less, and trust he knows what he’s doing, to live as a whole.
And the ways he make them care less, is to be private. And a way to be private is to be self-destructive. If people are not given reason to love him, or are given reason to hate him, then he can be risky. (Among the other mentioned reasons he’s so secretive.)
For example, he prioritizes others through a general privacy by not calling for help so they wouldn’t be at risk.
However, he more often prioritizes others by being self-critical. For example, agreeing with Leed that he’s a selfish coward. When he, unknowingly, just wanted to save his friends’ lives. This is one way to create distance, it’s still privacy.
Or for example, how he demonizes himself into a cheater. He still protects the image of the wife who left him over himself. (Mind you, he didn’t figure out why she left, except that it must be his fault. Chilchuck is very self-critical, he constantly thinks he’s responsible for everyone else. So ofc he wouldn’t do that.)
And a more general examples of him not prioritizing himself was when he thought Izutsumi ran away due to him, so he tries to search despite illness. Or, just recklessly running into the mimic room to “save” the treasure bug.
————
Correlating the past 2 points of priority + privacy and race + responsibility into a desire for control:
*Autonomy is the difference between Chil risking sacrificing himself in a trap versus being forced into one. And he takes pride in that willing sacrifice cause he knows it’s useful to everyone, but expertise exclusive to half-foots. Use of this skill is a way to gain more respect and control for the half-foot reputation.
Chilchuck is constantly trying to prove he is “more”. He is not “half” of anything. (Dunmeshi exemplifies that physiology and lifespan in every race are limitations, it just depends on your goals. Vice versa, they can be strengths.)
Also, the sheer fact he’s a father amplifies his natural tendency to control.
————
TLDR
Chilchuck cares about others more than himself, especially in terms of individual versus group survivability, individual versus societal change.
And this comes from constantly being looked down upon. He subverts stereotypes yet gets viewed as them. He knows he’s the only one with the experience and agency to fight it regardless.
His choice of work combats prejudice through setting an example and he establishes the union. In order to effectively work, his “care” expresses itself as “privacy”. Self-destruction contributes to this privacy.
Finally, what’s so fascinating is how this mindset is so layered within itself. But, eventually, he learns it’s okay to be open :)
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#laios touden#senshi of izganda#mickbell tomas#I worry that this isn’t that deep of an analysis and I’m just regurgitating well known fact but please hear me out#he’s so layered yet cohesive#bless ryoko kui for creating him#forgive me for posting this here. I only use tumblr as my art archive. but. atp I should make a side blog for all my essays#not art
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
will never stop wondering if jesus is canon in omswd. Because if so then there is no explanation that wouldn’t be funny.
#protestant bible canon? as in actual son of god that routinely cast out demons? fucking amazing#can you imagine. no lilith IM the only one allowed to make a human hybrid#or are we going with 'he was just a prophet' bc that STILL lets him routinely cast out demons and that is so funny#like 'ugh not this guy again'#merely myth? ALSO FUNNY#'jesus ch– oh sorry im sorry you probably know him.' 'who???'#does he just hang out in the celestial realm w the angels. is he an angel in omswd canon. is their Father somethin else#do they consider him their brother#is he like. the replacement golden child. does lucifer hold a grudge against him or does he just not care#is he literally the same person as their Father like in the bible? ??#again there is no unfunny solution here
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry
Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.
It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.
We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.
He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.
But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.
And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry
Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.
When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.
It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.
Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.
(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)
It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.
And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)
But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?
To me, it looked like I had a choice.
See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.
So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?
And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!
Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.
So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.
Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.
I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi meta#falin touden#laios touden#neurodivegent#autism#adhd#long post#this one got REAL personal oops
985 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Eren we can’t have sex here, it’s sacrilege..18+”
want more content? check out my masterlist
pairing: virgin!fem!reader x corruption kink!eren
summary: innocent “history of religion” college trip turns absolutely scandalous when the devil himself, Eren Yeager happens to be part of that trip the same year as you.
cw: sacrilege, loss of virginity, masturbation (f), name calling (whore slut etc), use of good girl, use of baby, use of lamb once or twice, probably historically incorrect info about churches (yes I didn’t do research bite me), Eren wants to be called God, Heavenly Father and daddy, reader is religious but not overly, mentions of holy statues and religious symbols (cross) yes the bible is mentioned once (yes ik im going to hell along with everyone who will enjoy this), Eren is a bit into corruption, manipulation(?), hickeys, biting, blood (just on readers neck).
🃏 DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IF YOU ARE A MINOR. BY CONTINUING TO READ, YOU CONSENT TO VIEWING ADULT CONTENT AND THE DARK CONTENT STATED IN CONTENT WARNING 🃏
You have always loved history and religion, those were your favourite subjects, ever since you were young you loved reading the bible with your parents. You loved learning more about your own religion and it’s history as well, so when your college had announced that they’d fund you on the annual “The History Of Religion” trip, you were filled with joy. You couldn’t afford it by yourself, and it was only for second years in your college program so you were beyond thankful for this literal once in a lifetime opportunity.
Day one: arriving at your first location
It’s a rather cold summer night even though it is mid July, you and everyone else on the trip quickly grab your bags and follow your teacher to the hotel lobby to escape the cold night. It’s not exactly warm there either, you shudder. As soon as everyone gets the keys to their rooms, they’re off before you can blink. Not a single person in sight, not even any of the hotel workers. This sucks, you needed help carrying your bags, you had brought three bags meanwhile everyone else just brought one. You sigh, this is going to be a long trip to your room.
“You need a hand?” A low voice asks.
You turn around, it’s a very tall and handsome man. He has beautiful emerald green eyes, brown hair in a bun. Nice build too. You recognise him, probably seen him around campus before…you can’t just remember when and where.
“Yes, that would be amazing” you smile.
“I’m Eren by the way, Eren Yeager.” He reaches out his hand to shake yours.
“Nice to meet you Eren, I’m y/n.” You shake his hand, it’s so big. You seem so tiny compared to him. You notice him staring at your hard nipples that are pushing against your thin crop top. You blush lightly and grab on to your cross necklace, you’d never admit it but you don’t mind a good looking guy like Eren staring at you like that. Heck, you’d let him do more than just stare.
“Shall we?“ he says grabbing two of your bags, on top of his own.
“Uh- yeah sure” you quickly follow.
“What floor are you on y/n?”
“Second”
“Looks like we’re on the same floor then, and you’re in room 4, right next to me in room 3.”
You thank Eren for helping you with the bags.
“I’ll be off then. Let me know if you need anything y/n. Good night” he says.
“Good night Eren” you say, quickly closing the door behind you. Just when you thought this trip wouldn’t get more exciting, a nice handsome guy like Eren shows up.
Eren walks back into his room, he is so exhausted he doesn’t even bother taking off his clothes before slowly dozing off to sleep.
“Aah- fuck” “nghh- oh god fuck”
Eren practically jolts up from his slumber, those moans sounded way too real to be his imagination. He freezes up, trying to locate where the sound is coming from. His eyes light up when he realises where it’s from. It’s from the other side of his bedroom wall, where your room is.
The sounds of your pussy squelching are louder than you think and Eren hears it all. “Looks like I won’t go to sleep early after all” he thinks to himself, already feeling his dick twitch every time moans and sloppy lewd sounds leave your room and escape through that one thin wall between the two of you. Your pretty sounds continue, only now you’re moaning someone’s name.
“Oh god, Eren. Fuck me, use me like your fuck toy” “
Eren smirks. He remembers the cross around your neck from earlier. “And here I thought you were a good little servant of god, and you’re crying out for me to use you like a fuck toy?? I guess that cross necklace is just for aesthetics no good religious girl would be this lewd for a guy she just met would she...”
Day two: the guided tour starts
You haven’t seen Eren all morning, you’re kind of disappointed. You had hoped to have breakfast with him at the hotel and hang out a bit, before the guided tour of the old church would start. He really caught your interest, and he was such a kind guy.
As you’re all getting ready to get on the bus, you look around for him. Maybe he is around here somewhere?? But nope, you still cannot see him anywhere, just like breakfast. You give up on your idea of wanting to spend the bus ride with Eren, seems that isn’t happening either. You take your seat by the window, all the way back at the bus and scroll through your Spotify playlist.
They end up starting the tour without Eren, because after that long bus ride he is still nowhere to be seen. You hear your annoyed teacher mumble something about Eren being lazy and letting daddy’s money and reputation fix everything for him, and then apologise about making everyone wait for one student who couldn’t bother to show up. The tour has officially started and Eren Yeager is still nowhere to be seen.
You end up eventually forgetting about Eren, your tour guide really knows what he is talking about. You’re so happy here, it feels like your element for sure. This one place the guide took you guys to, even gave you small gift bags with local candies, a light brown candle and some mini guide books about the history of the place.
Next spot is an old ancient church, you have been extremely excited for this one. It is a very very important part of the towns history and a very important part of your religions history as well, they only allow three guided tours per year here because it’s so important. And here you are, having the privilege to be present during one of those rare trips. You are admiring the outside as the guide walks you guys to the church doors, you are full of butterflies.
The whole group gasps when the doors open. This church has been untouched for hundreds of years if not more, everything is original. You couldn’t be happier. The guided tour of the inside officially starts now.
Day two: end of the tour..
Right as the tour is almost ending and you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look back, it is Eren. His emerald green eyes are staring right into your soul.
“Eren! Where have you been all day?” You get flashbacks of how you felt last night, and the feeling is creeping back. The way he is staring into your eyes has your stomach full of butterflies. You feel your face heating up a bit, hoping it’s not visible because you can’t exactly blame the nonexistent heat. How is this place not warm mid July?
“I was just busy with something, family stuff.” He is lying, he wasn’t busy with family stuff he had just been forced to go on this trip because his dad wants him to stop sleazing around, he had planned to miss every guided tour on this trip though. That is until he met you last night, which made him decide that maybe some of the tours were worth going to. His aura is different today, it is sinister and dark.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Eren. I hope it gets better.” Since you had no idea about the truth, you felt bad for him assuming it was something serious. You say a quick prayer for Eren in your head, incase it’s serious. How sweet and naive of you to believe a stranger you met last night.
The guide officially ended the tour, just as you’re about to walk out with the rest of the group Eren pulls you in to a corner. He puts his hand on your mouth, and tells you to be quiet. You feel a little worried. it must be something important if he has to pull you to the side like this…
Day two: the church doors closed..
“Eren, whatever it is be quick they just closed the door. The teacher will count everyone and if I’m not there, they’ll know” you say, mildly stressed realising you might get sent home for staying behind here after the tour ends.
“Don’t worry y/n” he smirks. “I slipped a note to the teacher before coming over to you. You felt sick and went back to the hotel earlier, you went quietly to not bother the tour and ruin it for the other good students. You are fine.”
“Alright Eren, what could be so important that you had to go and write an entire note for?” You ask.
He corners you against the church wall and puts his hand above your head, cold emerald eyes stare deep into your soul again. “I heard you last night y/n” he says, still coldly staring.
You feel your entire face and ears heating up. He can’t mean— no fucking way. It can’t be…you grab on to your cross necklace for emotional support because this is too much for you.
“Why so quiet now all of a sudden y/n? You were definitely not quiet last night.”
You are so shocked and embarrassed, you nearly lose balance but he catches you. He comes closer to your face.
“Your pretty little moans had me up all night“
You feel your pussy clenching around nothing at this point, but you’re avoiding eye contact to not go any further. This is an educational trip you cannot let your hormones ruin it. You have to stay focused. But a part of you also wants to give in, the purity culture your parents and church presented to you was never your thing, you’ve been sheltered until recently and a part of you really wanted to see how far you can go with Eren…maybe even lose your virginity to him.
He puts his hands on your thighs, and slowly explores them. He doesn’t do anything, he just waits for you to make the next move. This is fucking torture for you, it’s a fight between your horny self and the part of you that just wants to take things slow and stay a virgin a little longer because of a subconscious fear of disappointing god and your parents. The desire to explore and to distance yourself from your past wins. Your body betrays you. You wrap your arms around Eren and whisper “I want you” into his ears, sending chills down his spine.
“You want me to what baby? Use your words.” He says as he grabs a handful of your thigh.
“I want you to take my virginity Eren Yeager.”
Eren cannot believe what he just heard, a hottie like you is a virgin? He is too horny to process anything else and goes straight into kissing you and prepping you. He smiles as he lifts you up, your legs wrap around him automatically without any directions. You’re feeling euphoric, this is such a big moment for you. Taking a big step into adulthood, being independent, taking control of your own sexuality…you’re so lost in pleasure you don’t notice him carrying you and placing you on the church altar.
Erens hands wander your thighs, he is glad you picked this tiny skirt for today. Easy access. Fuck, a white tennis skirt has never looked this good on someone. He is definitely fucking you with the skirt on, you look way too good in it.
His hands feel so damn good on your thighs, you want them to go higher up. You need them to wander higher, explore places only your own hands have been before.
Eventually his hands go exactly where you wanted them, he can feel your wetness through your pretty lace thong. “You’re already soaking wet, such a good girl” he coos.
You just moan in return, searching for his mouth to continue kissing.
Eren is amused by how you don’t seem to mind fucking in a holy church like this, let alone on the altar where a statue of a very holy figure is right above you. Especially with that cross necklace of yours..so you’re not religious and it’s for aesthetic reasons?
He is wrong, it’s not for aesthetic reasons and you definitely haven’t noticed where you are. You totally forgot about it a while ago, completely lost in the pleasure you’ve denied yourself for so long. You feel one of his fingers slip inside you as his thumb works your clit.
“F-fuck Eren” you whine. “so fucking big- Aah!”
Eren gives your neck heavenly kisses, then kisses turn into sucking and he is putting hickeys all over your neck. Marking you as his, when hickeys aren’t enough he bites your neck making sure it leaves a bloody mark. You cry out from the pain but with everything else going on, like his finger pumping your pussy the pain soon mixes with pleasure and you and up soaking his fingers more and more. He slips another finger in, you clench immediately.
“Fuuck! Eren oh my go-“
Eren fantasises about the last sentence you just said. “Oh my god” he thinks. He could get used to that one, perhaps even fuck you so good he’d have you call him God or Heavenly Father. Eren smirks. The dark sinister energy is back.
“I-I’m gonna cum”
He instantly pulls his fingers out. “Not on my fingers, bend over”
You bend over, upper body on the altar, legs on the floor now. He lifts you skirt. While he unbuckles his belt, reality hits you. You’re still at the holy church..and you’re on the altar..and the statue. The holy statue is staring right at you. You’re absolutely not going to lose your virginity like this…memories of your past flash back.
“Eren…” you turn back to him. “Wait.”
Eren looks at you with a confused look.
“Did you also forget where we are? Come on let’s go out. We can’t have sex here it’s sacrilege…”
Realisation hits Eren. You are not wearing that religious symbol necklace for the aesthetics, you ARE religious and on top of that you weren’t open to fucking in a church you were just so horny you had completely forgotten about everything else. He puts his hand on your back and refuses to let you get up. This is his dream come true. Corrupting a good little religious girl like you, a virgin one on top of that.
“Hey! Eren get your hand off, we can’t have sex here I’m serious!! I don’t want to lose my virginity like this, it’s sacrilege!!” You glare at him.
Eren doesn’t care he just teases your entrance with his tip. God, you’re leaking all over his tip. Your words end up as incoherent blabber, you unconsciously are trying to push yourself onto his tip to get more of him inside you. But you’re trying to find the inner strength to get up and walk away especially now that his grip loosens up. But no, instead you arch your back against him like a bitch in heat.
He lets go of your back fully and grabs your throat instead, gets closer to your ear and whispers in a husky voice “now that you are done playing games, look up at that beautiful holy statue while I slide into you and take your precious virginity. Don’t look away. Okay??”
“W-why” is all you can get out. How did this sweet guy suddenly become the devil to you. One second ago you thought you’d lose your virginity in any place but here, you thought he was a normal guy. “Who or what are you Eren” is all you are thinking right now.
“I want you to denounce your god, even if it’s just for a while. I’m your new god. Look at the statue as I fuck you, and don’t call me Eren. You can call me God or Heavenly Father..daddy works too. Got that baby? Or should I say lamb now since the lord is apparently your shepherd.” He snickers.
What kind of blasphemy was this devil spitting and why was a part of you enjoying it, your pussy was so wet it was clenching around nothing as his tip was hovering right underneath you, you could feel a heartbeat down there. You didn’t mind losing your virginity before marriage, you weren’t THAT religious but surely this is wrong? This is disrespectful and too much? Your head was getting dizzy..
You’re trying so hard to resist, with eyes shut you’re repeating verses from your holy book in your head right now. “When he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into the devils sick and twisted temptation.”
Eren lightly slaps your face. “Open your eyes whore, and look at the statue for me.”
Eventually you disappoint your god, your parents and god knows who else… and give into the devils sweet, intoxicating temptation.
You look at the statue, teary eyed but your body is screaming for Erens. Wanting Erens warm skin against yours, wanting him deep inside of you.
He continues holding on to your hair, and slides it in. “Oh FUCK” you cry out. This was way bigger than you’d expected but it fits so perfectly, filling every inch of you. “Oh god” you cry out. You feel that knot in your stomach again but it is nothing like the one you feel when you finger yourself. This is overpowered, like ten times more intense. He stays still inside you for a bit, waiting for you to get comfortable around it and starts to slowly move in and out of you. After a while, you get used to it and you feel like you’re about to explode any minute.
Eren pushes all the candles and other stuff off the altar, and lays you down on it. He gets up, puts your legs behind your ears and pounds you into the altar. You feel so horrible mentally because of this, every time you look up the statue is looking right down on you. But your body feels fucking amazing, you’ve never ever been this wet and you’ve never felt this fantastic. His dick is so good, everyone said the first time hurts but he prepped you so good you genuinely don’t remember any pain.
“Fuck- Eren I’m gonna cum” you whimper.
Eren glares at you. “What did I say baby, you don’t call me Eren now while I fuck you stupid in this church. It’s God, daddy or Heavenly Father..”
It felt so wrong to call Eren God or Heavenly Father, daddy was a bit better.
You took one last look at the statue, then at Eren who was pounding into your pussy balls deep. You sigh. All teary eyed you whimper “please daddy, I’m so close-“
Eren kisses you and plays with your clit, doing everything to make you squirt on his dick. Yes it’s your first time, no he doesn’t care he will make you squirt. He is determined to be your everything, he will fuck you so silly and stupid, he will fuck Gods existence out of your little head. He will do anything to get there.
You finally cum, as you do Eren grabs your hair and looks into your eyes as you’re in total bliss. He keeps thrusting into you and every time he does, your pussy squirts all over again.
“T-thank you” is all you manage to get out.
“Thank you who” he says coldly and not impressed at all.
You know what he wants to hear, it’s not daddy this time. He wants you to you use one of the other names.
“Thank you Heavenly Father” you mumble, embarrassed and full of shame.
“Good girl.” He snickers. He gets so high off your embarrassment but also at the fact that you still do it despite how it feels just for some dick. “If it’s dick she wants I’ll really give it to her, I’ll give her something she will never forget. This is nothing..” he thinks.
You hated calling Eren those names but deep down inside you, the sickly perverted and twisted part of you wanted more, she wanted to beg God to fuck her harder, she wanted to beg the Heavenly Father to forgive her for ever worshipping anyone but him. She’d do anything to cum on his dick again, right now there was nothing in this world that felt better than cumming on his dick…
“Please God, make me cum again” you’re shocked at what you just said. Are you really giving in for some DICK?? Not money, not good extra credits for college but dick. Dick from a guy you officially met yesterday. He really is the devil…how did he get you like this.
Eren gives you a sinister smirk in return. ”whatever baby wants baby gets” he says and fucks you at the most perfect rhythm suddenly. It’s like he knew exactly what you needed but only gave it in exchange for your embarrassment and denouncement of your previous god..Eren you fucking devil.
“I know what you’re thinking y/n, I’m the devil to your previous God huh. But at least this God gives you something in return. When was the last time HE gave you anything you asked for” he says as he points up at the statue.
You feel your pussy clenching again, he feels it too around him.
“You want to cum again baby??” He coos into your ear.
“Yes God” you cry out in reply, feeling so close yet so far away. He won’t give you that last bit of friction to let you cum. Such a tease.
“Then atone for your sins my lamb”
You don’t even care anymore, you’re chasing your high and you’re gonna get it. Fuck it is hell even real? Who cares at this point. You’re so cockdrunk it doesn’t even matter, forgetting every bit of your past and what mother and father taught you, the religion you once were part of is out of the picture.
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I sinned so gravely. I worshipped a false idol, I was blinded by his false light. Please Heavenly Father forgive me, I am only a mere human. I make mistakes” you almost start crying, you got so serious with your prayer it almost snapped you back to reality where Eren is the actual false idol but he fucks you good and makes you cum instantly after that confession you did, instantly pulling you in again. More cockdrunk than before. He smirks at the statue as you whimper and cry under him, wetting the entire altar.
Your pussy twitches, even as Eren puts his dick out.
“Open your mouth baby, and stick your tongue out” he says.
You open that pretty mouth of yours in an instant, waiting for his next order.
“Look at that statue one last time as I cum on your pretty tongue.” He shoots his cum on your tongue but not all of it, he makes sure to mess around and shoot it on the statue as well.
You were so tired you passed out, he ends up cleaning you up and carrying you out of there. He brings you back to the hotel in time without anyone noticing.
Day three: bad news
You wake up to notifications on your phone, the history trip group chat is blowing up. You look at the texts and it’s all links to articles about the church being ruined, how there’s DNA there but they’re unable to identify who did it because they meddled with it. As if they’re giving a big middle finger to the community. It must be Eren, you think to yourself but you’re not sure how he did it. You give him a call.
Eren: hey y/n.
Y/n: Eren..the news.
Eren: it’s okay y/n, I got us covered. My dad owns a medical company, I’ve been to their lab and they have more than just medicine.
Y/n: what? That’s not even possible. Science is not exactly there yet…
Eren: you clearly don’t know my dad, whatever y/n you need to come down to breakfast. And whatever you do, don’t act all suspect. Also make sure to hide your hickeys.
Y/n: Eren?? What even are we?
Eren: Y/n, come down now. *hangs up*
a/n: I want to punch this fic in the face it’s the fourth time I’m reposting because the tags are breaking rip i can’t with tumblr sorry if something is missing as well I re wrote it in an hour because I accidentally deleted it 🥲🥲 idk if all writers have that one fic that traumatised them but if that’s a thing then THIS IS MINE. Hope you enjoyed it though 🧡
© 2023 succubisblog | All rights reserved
993 notes
·
View notes
Note
Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born.
I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her.
Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.
I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.
I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either.
I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.
But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.
And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.
I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.
It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.
And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?"
It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.
And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.
That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.
He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.
I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.
That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.
I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."
So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?
Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.
But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.
But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.
But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.
The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.
I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.
So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own.
And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.
#very long post#Asked#answered#Christianity#me#LGBTQ+#transfenderism#testimony#Christian#Bible#Jesus Christ#Yahweh
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
On Religious Trauma
I grew up in a high control religion, and on a fundamental level, I can see myself in both Crowley and Aziraphale, ESPECIALLY at the end of season two. Let me explain. (TW for religious abuse)
Within the church I grew up in, there was a very strong expectation that you build your identity exclusively within your religion; that you see Christ as the only source of good in yourself. It's one of the things that made coming to terms with my queerness and transness so intensely complicated. I had built my entire self image on being a good perfect Christian. Even after being forced from the closet at 16, I clung desperately to that identity because it was all I'd had my entire childhood. Even in the face of direct abuse pulled straight from that belief, I still couldn't let go of the only 'good' I'd ever seen in myself. I thought I could change my dad's mind if I could just prove that I was a good Christian and prove that the Bible didn't justify his hate. He didn't listen.
It took another year and a half for me to separate myself completely from Christianity. I'd been questioning my faith since 14 and it was an enormous source of guilt and shame, so letting go of that was a long healing process. The people I grew up with now go to religious unis and volunteer at the summer camps we went to as kids. It's surreal every time it comes up on my insta, and I feel like I'm the one who escaped, who saw through the sham to what was really going on. More than that, I know in my heart that my family (father aside) are also victims in their own right. I grew up watching my mother struggle, and I watch my younger sisters grow up wrestling with these same ideas. Perhaps even more strongly, having watched my fall from grace. But I can't DO anything, because I can see the fear in my mom's eyes when I reminder her why I'm not comfortable going to church with her; she was raised, just as I was, in desperate fear of seeing the damnation of those you love. She's terrified of being responsible for my eternal torture in hell. So we don't talk about it at all, because it hurts both of us.
I remember the overwhelming pressure to evangelize and convert, even as a literal child, because it was our responsibility to save them from hell. Aziraphale isn't CHOOSING angel Crowley over the one in front of him. He still hopes he can save the one person he loves more than anything in the universe. I've been there. It fucking hurts. But now I'm here, and that hurts too. Because I can see the people I love looking at me the same way and I have to say no.
Aziraphale never had a choice. Even in the face of cruelty, he sees heaven as the good in himself. It's the only identity he has. And he's scared out of his mind.
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens season 2#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens angst#neil gaiman#good omens 2 ending#no nightingales#ineffable divorce#religious trauma#religious abuse#growing up christian is a special kind of hell#not everyone but for a lot of people#no love like christian hate#I promise I am doing better now being an adult is awesome#it gets better i swear
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
M*A*S*H OC TIME
I love being a silly nerd! Literally just a self-insert
I literally just thought to myself "What if I was in the compound? What if I was a silly little bean along with the rest of them?"
NAME: Marieanne "Mutt" Wolfe
Age: 28
Gender: AFAB, presents otherwise, depending on the day. Pronouns are anything- she'll respond to she/her but secretly loves being referred to as male (ooooh lore)
Height: 5'4
Weight: 200
Physically Characteristics: Caucasian with a dark complexion, her dad was half-Latino. Dark brown shoulder length hair and light brown eyes, closer to amber. She has wide hips and a smaller chest. (Can't wait to get art of them aghhhhh)
She's from Georgia, her accent shows as much- not long and drawn out though, she refers to it as "hick." Was raised in the middle of nowhere- the closest small town was 30 minutes away, so her family mostly made their living off their farm. She's used to having close to nothing, so certain things about the compound- the ass tasting food, the terrible sleeping arrangements- she's used to, and takes in stride. This also causes her to have quite a positive outlook, as she's mostly a very positive person- much to a few others' contempt.
Hobbies: Back home, she was quite different from her family- she loved to read and study, especially anatomy, botany and fauna as well. She also enjoys studying different religions and cultures- she always dreamed of travelling the world. She loves to sketch the makeup of different flowers and animals in her journals she keeps- although her family rebuke it as a waste of time. They were taught that work was their only livelihood.
She enjoys studying and music quite a bit- her grandmother immigrated from France- and brought over her taste for classical- especially Satie and Debussy. She distinctly remembers listening to them while her mother baked bread in the kitchen.
Because of her upbringing- she always strived to be better. On trips to Savannah as a child she would watch the high-class ladies walking down the street, and wanted to be like them. At age twelve she made it her meaning in life to graduate high school, make it to college and become something greater.
She achieved that dream; sort of. She graduated high school with a high GPA, much to her fathers' disdain. He threatened her life, and her mother was angry at her for even thinking of leaving the farm to go to a University. She applied- behind her parents' backs... and left them after her father threatened to beat her.
She graduated from Duke University- with a specialty in Neurosurgery, a minor in Religion. She achieved her dream- but lost her family at the same time...
She still carries parts from home with her. She loves nature, loves to bake and still likes to study botany in her free time. Oh, and she carries a stuffed yellow rabbit given to her by her grandmother.
She considers herself to be very religious. Her family raised her Southern Baptist- but she found the tradition there a bit unsettling. After studying several different religions, even dabbling in Paganism, she was drawn back to Catholicism- at first, strictly out of admiration for the aesthetics of it. She considers herself to have Catholic beliefs, although she's not confirmed, and even wears a rosary on her belt. She's still studying and making up her mind about her religion.
FRIENDS AT THE 4077
Radar O' Reilly- Radar is one of her best friends at the 4077- they first bonded on their shared backgrounds of growing up on a farm. As they get to know each other, they even share their love of stuffed animals- as she brought a stuffed rabbit from home. She enjoys helping him with his animals and worm farm too.
Father Mulcahy- He is probably her best friend there. Coming in, she dropped her rosary and Mulcahy retrieved it for her. She goes to his services every Sunday- and they even started a Bible Study together. He helps her a lot in her study of religion and offers to help her with her complicated past and religious trauma. They love analyzing Bible stories and theology, she especially loves quizzing him about the Catholic church and the Saints. They also have Biblical inside jokes they like to confuse other people with.
Margaret Houlihan- They are just complete girls together. Marieanne respects Margaret as if she were another surgeon and they hit it off right away. They enjoy sitting in each others tents, gossiping, and making terrible cocktails out of whatever they can find.
Charles Winchester- These two are definitely frenemies to begin with- He especially made fun of her for her upbringing, and she makes fun of his, name calling and all. She genuinely hates him at first… After some time together though, he becomes pleasantly surprised at her neurological expertise and her love of classical music. He becomes very intruiged by her, and her with him- She always wanted desperately the lifestyle that he gets to live- and he is surprised by her own interest in him, and how some "redneck swill" could EVER be interested in the same things. They become very unlikely friends, drinking tea and listening to Mozart sometimes. And of COURSE giving Hawk and BJ a hard time.
5. L. Rizzo- They get along, both from the deep south. They mostly enjoy making fun of all the "damn yanks" at the compound. He flirts with her offhandedly at first, but once she sets him straight with a swift backhand, they get along. Like siblings, she always makes fun of him for falling asleep and not knowing what the hell he's doing, usually visiting him at the garages to wake him up with a stupid prank.
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
To the anon who is struggling with their faith and identity, hi. I get you. I’m in the same boat in a lot of ways. (Discussion of anti-science rhetoric, lgbt-phobia, and conservative Christian stuff for anyone who doesn’t wanna read that)
I was raised Christian, and taught that evolution and the Big Bang were false. I was taught that dinosaurs were real and the earth was billions of years old, but we were still creationists.
I was also taught that being gay or trans was sinful and that gay marriage shouldn’t be legalized. My family was never outright hostile (my uncle is gay and we always loved him, even though “we just don’t agree with his decision” ugh), but clearly bigoted.
I was also raised in baptist churches, who absolutely love to quote the same three verses over and over in order to tell women (like myself) that our whole purpose is to shut up and bear children and take care of the house, that we are to obey our fathers and husbands in everything and cannot teach men at all. Fortunately my parents at least hated that BS, and after every sermon regarding that point my mom would lecture us that that was the only thing she disagreed with with our church, and that me and my sisters could be whatever we wanted to be. She continually pointed out the instances that contradicted what our churches had said about women’s roles.
When I went to college, I made friends, met people with wildly different backgrounds, and began to form my own opinions. I am a supporter of lgbt rights (I believe that there is strong evidence that wording was changed to condemn homosexuality, and that even if it’s a sin, we are called to love each other first and foremost, and that we cannot force our religious beliefs upon anyone else, and that respecting someone’s sexuality and pronouns is just basic fucking courtesy. I’ve even convinced my trump-supporting grandparents to use peoples preferred pronouns and respect gay marriages, with the logic that “you believe it’s sinful, but they don’t, and you can’t force your religious perspective on them. There is nothing loving about making them uncomfortable just because you disagree.”
I also strongly believe in scientific theories like evolution and the Big Bang. There’s plenty of evidence, and if you read genesis with fresh eyes it’s pretty clear to me it’s highly symbolic, not literal. I can believe God created the universe and that he did so through the Big Bang. I can believe God created humans in his image through the process of evolution.
As I was expanding and changing my worldview, I also realized that I was aroace. I’ve never been interested in dating, I don’t find men good looking at all, and my appreciation for women’s beauty is more similar to how someone would appreciate a painting, not someone they want to date or marry or have sex with.
And I don’t believe it’s a problem for me to stay single either. When I told my mom she immediately told me that the Bible says that singleness is, for many, a gift, and only a different path, not a wrong one.
I often don’t know what God’s intention is, but I do know that Christians are called to be the light of the world. So I will always be kind and loving, because that is how you be a light. I always pray for better understanding of how I should do things, but in the end the most important thing is to be kind.
Sorry if that was rambly, I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone in these struggles, and that you can believe different things without being a bad person. Personally, my family doesn’t know that I’m now fairly liberal and that I believe in evolution and the Big Bang and such, but I’m okay with that. If they find out, I’ll tell them more or less what I just said here. Best of luck to you and to anyone else in a similar situation 💛
Thanks for sharing, I’m sure this will be helpful for a lot of people.
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
omg i love the choice of personal jesus for the griffinverse post. i can just see the frozen pines movie scene where on each beat it switches from one griffin to another until finally landing on the last one and just prolonging that intensity thruout the scene. like its so cinematic and intense and it makes me feel like i am being punched in the gut with asa each time we are faced with a new tragic version, like asa is putting himself thru the suffering that jesus put himself thru out of the same type of selfless, overwhelming love. and in the hugging slide he is literally touching his faith (gay people and their biblical, epic type levels of love go bestie go!!). and the way he disappears like jesus did when he peaces out to the sky lol (who knew the years of forced bible study would actually be useful lol). ik that the song also has a more literal meaning for sw griffin in that asa is kind of like this random mystic miracle man etc. but i love the implications for asa specifically. ig just the fact that it works for both is masterful and i love your incredible brain and how you are able to create this wonderful story in such vivid detail with such visceral emotions. hope ur having a good day brandi and happy new year!!
YESSSSSS oh my god this is EXACTLY the emotion i wanted to convey!! ;-; i so badly wish tumblr would let us add small, unobtrusive media players between pictures so you could hear what i hear in my head while i'm writing these scenes 😭 but knowing that you understood my vision so clearly made me SO happy
also i can add one more layer of symbolism in that finn (and all the griffins) have a complicated relationship with religion and sin...
his father and god are inextricably linked – they were meant to love him unconditionally, and yet finn could never hold onto that love. it was always slipping from his grasp. the only person who has ever truly loved, understood, and accepted him without reservation is asa. he is the only thing finn can believe in.
this version of griffin has never met asa, yet he knows, implicitly, that asa loves him. the feeling of unconditional, absolute love he's chased his entire life washes over him and it doesn't disappear with asa. he gets to keep it.
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
1.11 Veterans
"It's assholes like you that give Christians like me a bad name. You wanna talk about the hand of righteousness? You're gonna find out what that means."
I just want to talk about what's happening in this scene for a moment. Just moments prior to Art unceremoniously slamming a bible onto Boyd's hands, Raylan had been gleefully accusing him of murdering a man. In fact, Raylan knows Boyd had a hand in that man's death and he is correct. But as soon as that bible comes down? The loud noise, the abuse, the violence, the weaponization of religion? Something changes. Raylan was triggered, I think. He has literally never flinched at a suspect being roughed up before, not by his own hands or anyone else's. In fact, he will happily admit to enjoying it most of the time. But there's something different about this.
I think it's a combination of Art as a father figure and that when he looks at Boyd, Raylan still sees the past. I think that, like in most southern, evangelical Christian households, God and the Bible were used as a weapon and a fear tactic more than anything. [Personal thoughts and headcanons incoming] I think that Raylan is a gay man in a red state who grew up in a violently homophobic household, in a violently homophobic community, and he's having to sit by and watch as that violence is being inflicted upon the only other queer man he knew when he was growing up, and the one he happened to have also, maybe, loved. Has he had to witness something like that before, maybe, Boyd being abused in front of him, by a male authority figure, unable to do anything about it? I don't think it's unlikely.
I think this is also why, when Art first asks Raylan about Boyd in the pilot, Raylan tells him, "We weren't what you'd call friends," despite the fact that through that same episode he tells Dewey that they were buddies who used to drink together and Boyd makes mention of his Daddy and brings up the fact that Ava's gravy isn't as good as Raylan's momma's used to be, implying that they would've been a lot closer than just two men who "dug coal together" when they were nineteen. But of course he wouldn't say any more than that, he'd downplay it as much as possible, because Raylan knows by now what he needs to say around good, Christian men like Art. And I'm almost certain he (and Boyd) had to learn that lesson the hard way.
Either way, you can't deny that Raylan is viscerally upset by what Art does, or how wildly out of character that is for him, and I just think that's Neat. (Sorry about all the trauma, Raylan.)
#absolutely no one:#me: SEASON ONE EPISODE ELEVEN OF JUSTIFIED THOUGH#HE WAS ABOUT TO COME ACROSS THAT FUCKING TABLE#ART BETTER WATCH IT#tw: homophobia#justifiedfx#raylan givens#boyd crowder#boyd x raylan#justified meta#tw: relgious trauma#internalized homophobia#we dug coal together#raylan/boyd#raylan x boyd
99 notes
·
View notes
Note
Opinions on Sanuso ?? 😁
this is like asking jesus his opinions on the bible but okay i'll answer your silly question (-> said by someone literally desperate to answer this question. thank you.)
sanuso, to me, is the most domestic and realistic ship when it comes to sanji. of course, usopp too, but i'm focusing on the one who has more ships than fights in this show. dude is shipped with everybody (as he should be. sanji deserves all the love). what i mean by this, is that their personalities match perfectly:
they're both insecure and have self-worth issues, but cope with them in different ways, and the reason why they're like that is their different but oddly similar pasts if you think about it!!
sanji has... a fair amount of trauma. my poor boy. he was born into a family that constantly told him he was weak and undeserving of love. he was abused, physically and mentally, and he lost the only one who truly made him happy. then he finally made it to the east blue, but even if zeff's a great father (we love you, king) his views on strength and masculinity obviously had a lot to do with sanji's personality. he had to learn to cope in silence, to deal with pain like a man, and to sacrifice himself for others every damn time, not only because he's too kind for his own good, but also because he doesn't think he deserves to be a priority.
on the other hand, usopp was born into a loving family, but his father and role model disappeared and his mom died when he was still very, very young. he had to cope on his own, but at least he had kaya. and the village. right? however, he has spent his whole life pretending and lying and not acting like himself because he doesn't like himself. because he dreamt of bigger things and he was nothing compared to the fantasies he told kaya about.
sanji is the dream usopp seeks, and usopp is the domesticity sanji needs.
sanji sacrifices himself and deals with pain in silence like a man. usopp lies and hides and runs from the truth because he thinks he's not good enough.
so here we have these idiots who do not love themselves but love everyone else with the biggest hearts we've ever seen.
and, you know, people don't ship sanuso as much as they ship other pairings. and i'm not gonna go into the whole "actually, usopp's ships are underrated because usopp himself is underrated and it has to be with him not following stereotypes and normativity regarding his looks and personality in shonen manga" but it's literally just that. i'm so, so sure the ship would be more popular if people actually stopped and valued usopp more... not gonna go into this. sorry. i just love him too much to not defend him to death all the time.
so... the thing about sanuso that makes them so special to me:
they understand and complement each other in a way i think no other mugiwara would understand, and they know how to deal with each other's pain.
(i know this is just my opinion and not an analysis, but i'm annoying when it comes to sanuso so i'm just gonna keep writing until my hands fall off!)
their personalities are... different. like. not "opposites attract different" but... different.
sanji masks his insecurities by acting like the gentleman he already is. he just hides his past and, when the situation comes, he always sacrifices himself but never says the reason why. he covers the fact that he sees himself as undeserving of living and being a priority by putting others first, using his "prince-like/gentleman" facade. we see this with women, mostly, but he's always giving and never taking. he isn't selfish. in fact, he's selfless to a worrisome extent (thriller bark, for example. skypiea, too). but he masks all of this just by saying he's strong enough to take it! man enough to protect everyone! and both can coexist, but it's pretty obvious that he wants to feel useful and loved and the use of self-sacrifice shows us both at the same time.
usopp, on the other hand? he's more fond of running away from his problems and hiding and using his "god/warrior" facade to cover all of his hatred for himself. hatred that not only comes from his past, but also from being surrounded by men who are stronger to an insane extent that's even weird in the anime fantasy world they're in. of course he feels insecure! he's not selfish, per se, but he's kind of a coward and he has this survivor's instinct that sanji lacks. but also, when the time comes, his own morality and good heart make him act beyond that instinct and he's the one to save the ones weaker than him (dressrosa).
okay, so, they both feel very insecure. sanji about his masculinity and worth, and usopp about his strength and bravery. sanji deals with it by self-sacrificing himself and using his gentleman facade, and usopp does the same by lying and running away. sanji doesn't fear death if it's to protect others, and usopp is scared of dying but he would fight against it in some cases for the same reason.
this is why i think they understand each other on a deep, intimate level that other mugiwaras don't get. water 7 is the best example of this, and it will forever be (along with skypiea) the best arc to explain why sanuso works so well. i honestly miss pre time-skip sanuso. they were so, so good...
and it's not only that they understand each other deeply, but the fact that they know how to work with it! their personalities match so well...
sanji thinks before acting and makes plans and his whole life is this complex recipe he has used ever since he was a kid to achieve the expectations of others, hiding his past and his fears. sanji understands people. he can read them well and knows how to approach them with a gentle, caring behavior. he's a sweetheart. he sees somebody suffering and goes to help. or, you know, he can also be a bastard and act on impulse but that's him too, isn't he? (by the way, not gonna mention zosan's dynamic here because that's a complete analysis of them also and it would make this thing longer). his actions are thoughtful but they're led by emotions and empathy mostly.
usopp is more logical and anxious, though. he thinks things through and tries to find the better outcome for himself and whoever he's trying to save, but it isn't really helpful the fact that he's an anxious guy with the constant fear of failure and hurting himself or being seen as weak. but he approaches problems nevertheless when he needs to, and he understands people and gives them what they need at the moment, if that makes any sense.
sanji needs somebody who will understand him but also will give him what he needs at the moment, and usopp needs somebody who's thoughtful and will see beyond his insecurities. that's why they work!!! they make me ill!!!
they're, for me, one of the best ships because they can talk things out. well, of course, sanji's repressed ass would have thousands of issues with liking a boy and also with opening up to somebody. but after seeing usopp is the same as him? after noticing that usopp's just pretending to be confident and he's also worried about what sanji thinks of him? it's beautiful. they could have, as a couple, such a deep connection!!
sanji knows usopp can protect himself but still helps him out all the time because of fear of losing him, and usopp gives sanji enough space to let him open up without suffocating him. they don't rush things. their thing happens naturally. gradually. it's slow and gorgeous and sometimes a bit angsty from both sides, but... it's the magic of a relationship turning into romantic when it used to be only a friendship. i love them so much!!!!! aghhhhhhhh *bangs head against concrete floor*
not to mention, also, that their canon dynamic is hilarious. usopp taking care of sanji at gyojin island when he's being uh.... all over the place with women, but also being done with his behavior is so married couple coded. and also, their whole thing ever since they've known each other is so so funny. because usopp can be as chaotic as luffy sometimes, when he's actually a very logical guy (he loses brain cells when he's around luffy and chopper istg), and sanji has to deal with it. and sanji is calm and collected but a fucking mess when it comes to feelings and love and usopp has to be the one to ground him. also, usopp teases him constantly when he flirts with women.
and, idk, their whole relationship feels very domestic and beautiful to me, especially after skypiea and water 7. i really do miss them there!! they're still boyfriends, though.
and also... gonna go into mbti stuff right now, kay? i love, love, LOVE sanji being an enfj and usopp being an entp:
-> ENTPs and ENFJs are both Extroverted, Intuitive personalities, meaning they tend to enjoy being around others and focusing on the big picture. However, ENTPs are also logical thinkers, who enjoy pursuing new experiences, while ENFJs are empathetic and prefer following set schedules. ENTP personalities should engage in casual, personal conversation with ENFJs, while ENFJs should communicate clearly and logically around ENTPs.
-> ENTPs should be sensitive to ENFJs’ feelings by addressing issues gently and helping ENFJs feel safe enough to share their thoughts openly. ENFJs should work to focus carefully on the facts of the situation and avoid overly emotional expressions around ENTPs.
NOT TO MENTION SANJI IS 1W2 AND USOPP IS 6W7 AND THEY MAKE ME GO INSANE CRAZY I'M UNWELL-
but yeah, you can say i like sanuso a fair, normal amount! :)
(i'm not normal)
i just love how domestic and genuine their ship feels. because unlike their other ships, focusing mainly on either sexual tension or painful pining and devotion, these two have such a natural and sweet dynamic... it kind of reminds me to usopp and kaya, too! perhaps that's why it works so well (in this blog we support and love both ships. usopp has two hands!).
10/10 great awesome ship. they give spiderman x gwen stacy but maybe that's just me and my fantasies of them doing the spider-kiss with sogeking.
#uhhhhh i could write more#i feel the need to write more but i realized halfway that this is not supposed to be an analysis#oops#i love sanuso a normal amount hahahahahahaahaha#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#one piece#sanji x usopp
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
won’t be answering rancid things like that or talking about it beyond this but BUT ! i would never enable my ex husbands behavior. in fact, i oppose it, its why he’s my ex husband. it’s why i healed and grew from the experience. he IS the father of my child and i believe he has the right to be in our sons life. i believe people CAN change. especially given if they have generational trauma. what a lot of people don’t understand (and i don’t rly either) is how hard it is to reparent urself and break generational trauma. if u don’t have a child, u can’t even begin to fathom the disruption. i’ll be honest.
my ex husband does deserve to heal from generational trauma. it’s not enabling. it’s realizing that all these people eventually react out in fight or flight, given they were given a loving life from the start. a child neglected from a young age, can cause a LITNY of trickle down causes. i am not with my child’s father, but i do support him. because i believe he IS a good person. people don’t realize abusers DO have good things about them. because bad will always outweigh the good. my child’s father deserves to be in his sons life. point blank ! my child deserves to see his healed father <3 my child deserves to see that people can change. SAME WITH MY MOTHER. my mother neglected me even while i was in the womb. beyond imagined situations. she is still a human and she still deserves love and support. it’s literally what the bible talks about ! kindness will go much further.
and u know what. if at the end of it all. it was for nothing, at least i was kind and considerate above all. i will never be taken advantage of, but i will be kind <3
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just wanna talk abt the movie ma mére again on here & show you (some) of my fave screen caps because that movie quite literally is a rollercoaster of emotions, depraved acts, unique depictions of grief, and overall a commentary on love and it’s differing forms and how it can toe the line of what is deemed “socially acceptable” etc when you are infatuated with someone (who happens to be your mother lol,, spoilers ahead btw!)
- i think louis garrel played the role of pierre perfectlyyyyy like his chemistry with isabelle hupert is so natural ?? like the way their realtionship as mother and son is shown throughout the progression of the movie is such an interesting and incredible sight like truly! in regards to this screen cap you can literally see the boyishness dripping off of pierre as he gazes up at his mother !! he’s so soft looking! just embodying the confused yet desired filled teenage boy trope to the max lol
- absolutely love this still. love it so much. not only does pierre just blend into the filth surrounding him as he grieves the loss of his father he looks so beautiful and content while doing it? i love the messiness. i love the dirty clothes strewn around on the floor. i love the face that he’s wearing red underwear and it immediately draws your attention to the curve of his ass, his thighs, and gangly hair legs.
- next up this sequence of shots from my FAVORITE scene in the entire movie….for context pierre goes out with his mom, her friend, and this cute girl he’s acquainted with and ends up drinking too much he essentially falls asleep in a nearby train station (not too busy but there’s still some passerby’s); okay with that be established can we just look at this ????? like really look at what the fuck is going on????? the pain and desperation on his face as he gets his cock stepped on by the same boots he kisses in the next sequence! his hand placement on the boots as his makes them push down harder!!!! the way he is only stripped down to his shirt, everything else being forcefully taken off of him when he is asleep and unknowing holy fuck. this scene is just perfect. so incredibly perfect. i can go on more and more about it but we have like 2 more screen caps to cover lol.
- *sigh* y’all know and or should know if it isn’t just oozing off of me that i’m a slut for religious imagery & themes… combine that shit with sexuality and depravity and i am so sat! pierre’s make shift cross hes praying to out of the pages of the bible he ripped out, the light casting a warm ray onto his person as he begs for forgiveness and mercy as he grapples with his purely fucked up situation, his hands clasped over his hand as if god is about to punish him and he’s trying to protect himself, the bowing of his head + the clothes that he’s wearing + his legs tucked under his body = beauty in its purest form in my opinion.
- wow. last screen cap and i have so much to say. i love the curve of his spine, the focus on his ass, the soft kiss he’s planting on someone’s knee, his shoulder blades, just how soft and light and airy this shot looks?????????? this image is post-sex gold right here. this image drips non-verbal aftercare, “after everything we have just done i am still here and i am yours.” this shot is so fucking beautiful good god. to quote @priestfrommidnightmass ‘s review of this movie “i fucking Love awful sick entirely morally Wrong dynamics i love blasphemous religious symbolism i love honest and twisted portrayals of sex i love the line of pleasure and violence being blurred…”
#i love this movie#i think abt this all the fucking time#lgbtqia#ma mere 2004#ma mère#isabelle huppert#louis garrel
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dreamtalia Carrie AU - Blood of the Covenant
Credits:
Nevo, Dreamtalia and its characters by kyokyo866
Carrie by Stephen King
Content Warnings:
Swearing
Religion/Christianity
Religious Abuse
Child Abuse
Homophobia (slurs are used)
References to smoking
Starring:
Reve and World as Carrie White (Reve Faucher and Nicholas Major)
Nevo as Margaret White (Nathan Major)
(Author's Note: I spent Lent and partway through Easter working on this fic. This is for the 50th anniversary of Carrie. Beta read by my sister. Please remember to thank Tabitha King for making sure Carrie's story was told and kickstarting King's career. )
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4 (King James Bible)
If it wasn’t worth it, if it wasn’t for his only friend, he’d never do this. If the boy didn’t think there was more to life than prayer, the day of Judgement, and papa- he would happily rot in these four walls till some other horrible disaster came.
(tonight)
The word bounced around his head.
(i am not afraid of him)
Nicholas, for the first time in his life, was going to do something worse than just say fuck under his father’s roof. Something worse than
(of whom shall i be afraid)
sharing a quarter cigarette with Reve that one evening. But there was that rising nausea, like the same urge to vomit when he first tasted sin- nicotine.
(she gave of me the tree, and I did eat)
Anxiously,
(flex)
Nicholas made his pocket change swim in the air around the ceiling light, like sharks circling a lone surfer.
“Nicholas!” Papa called, causing him to shoot up from his bed and drop the coins. “Reve has come over for dinner, come downstairs!”
“Coming!”
The boy looked in the mirror. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders the way Alfred does- minus the boisterous, prideful laughter that accompanied the stance. Nicholas marched downstairs, like a soldier to a battlefield.
—
(it was a dark and stormy night)
As Reve surveyed the dinner table one could most definitely compare it to a battlefield. Despite the polite conversation he had with Mr. Major
(what is your favorite proverb)
the air was thick with tension- the boy might as well cut it with a knife so he could breathe a little.
Things began to escalate when dessert was presented at the table. Nicholas’ father divided a blueberry pie among the three. Its filling looked thick and slimy, with cane sugar crystals. Fresh, bulbous blueberries were packed together and nestled in the crust.
When Reve took a bite of his share, he puckered his lips. The pastry was too sour and too sweet all at the same time. “It’s great!” Reve said.
However, Nicholas wasn’t having any of it, literally. He just twirled his fork in his right hand, while his left was scratching his pant leg.
“This is new.” Mr. Major said, “You haven’t touched your pie.”
“It makes me have breakouts.” Nicholas answered firmly, pushing the plate away from himself.
Mr. Major let out an ‘I-know-better’ sigh. He pushed the plate back towards his son. “Pimples are the Lord’s way of hindering pride.”
“Maybe it’s a Sign I should lay off the sweets.”
Reve jumped in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. “I-I wouldn’t mind taking his share! I have a sweet tooth after all.” Personally, it was in the boys best interest to keep the man placated.
A pregnant pause.
“Actually,” Reve chimed in once more with an eager grin, “Nicky and I have something important to tell you!”
Mr. Major’s eyebrows raised and he hummed in expectation.
Nicholas looked like a deer in headlights, it was as if he forgot what this dinner was for. The boy’s wide eyes told Reve ‘I can’t do this’.
Reve locked his pinky with Nicholas’ own under the table.
(im here)
It seemed to say.
“Reve and I…”
(spit it out be a man)
“Have been invited to prom!”
The man froze as though struck by the lightning outside. “Prom.” Mr. Major muttered in horror.
“I’m going to support Reve and-” Nicholas gulped for air a moment, “The coach thinks this could be good for us because, y’know, we’re growing up- and stuff.”
The man’s lips moved but neither boy heard what came out his mouth.
Nicholas pressed on, “V- Mr. Bazarov and Ludwig bought us tickets- so you don’t have to spend a cent.”
“No.” Mr. Major’s voice raised to an audible volume.
Nicholas began a tangent, “People think we’re- Reve and I- are weird, and not the good kind- the bad kind. And I think we need to learn, to- well- get along with everyone else, before it's too late-”
Nicholas was promptly doused with tea as his father threw it across the table. Some of it got onto Reve’s shirt. Fortunately for the two it was lukewarm. Nicholas sputtered and sniffled quietly.
Reve placed his palms on the table to stand up and voice his outrage-
But Nicholas placed a hand on his knuckles and gave a faux-reassuring squeeze. Reve sat back down. Nicholas’ hand stayed
(i just need you here)
right where it was.
“Go to your closet.” the man snarled.
“I haven’t done anything wrong.” Nicholas protested.
“After all you’ve been taught- you fraternize with a sodomite?”
“He isn’t a bad person, Papa.” Nicholas muttered as he scrubbed tea out of his eyes.
“The moment you stepped into that shower room-” The man heaved a heavy breath, “You exposed yourself to him, those boys- that filth. And even after you were punished for the Sin of Lustful Thoughts- you went back for more.”
“It-” Reve whimpered in a small voice, “It isn’t like that.” No one heard him.
(my siblings arent bad people im not bad am i)
The man shot out of his seat and thundered over to Nicholas. He gripped the boy’s forearm as though he were a chew toy. Mr. Major’s face appeared disturbingly enchanting, with his blue eyes framed by stringy, pink hair.
(this is too much too mu)
“Come to your closet and pray.”
“I haven’t done anything wrong.”
The man raised his hand to strike at Nicholas. The boy seemed resigned to what would come next.
Reve spent a good quarter of his life just…watching Nicholas be treated like everyone’s ragdoll. But remaining seated as his own father did the same? That was just too much.
The sound of Reve smacking away Nathan’s hand was almost as ear shattering as the sudden thunderclap.
Nicholas looked dumbfounded. The man looked offered. And though he was terrified, Reve stood between father and son.
“Don’t you hit Nicky!” Reve shrieked. “He’s your son- he doesn’t deserve that!”
“You have no right to-”
“I do! He’s important to me!”
Nicholas had doubted that Reve cared. He thought they were only friends of circumstance, but he’d gone and said that. “Reve…”
Reve was shoved and he slammed against the kitchen counter.
“Reve!” Nicholas ran over to his side, and shot his father a glare.
“Nicholas.” Papa said in a hushed tone. “Tell that man no.”
“I already said I was going.” Nicholas countered as he got Reve to his feet.
“Then tell him you’ve changed your mind!” Nathan nearly hollered. “Or we’ll move! Move somewhere you’ll never see that boy or that teacher again!”
“No- I won’t!”
“That’s final.” Mr. Major walked away as though he had the last word in.
“I’m not done!” Nicholas screamed.
“I have to close the window. The rain’s getting in the house.” he marched to a nearby window.
“I’ll get them- just please talk to me!”
And Nicholas flexed.
At that moment, Reve felt the house shift. Every window slammed shut, even the one upstairs, and the one Mr. Major was going to close and nearly crushed his fingers.
A large knife dangled inches away from the man’s face as he cowered in a corner.
Nicholas’ fingers flexed and twitched like a malfunctioning machine.
Reve put a hand on Nicholas’ shoulder. “Nicky,” he murmured, “put the knife down.”
Nicholas breathed a staccato of inhales and exhales through his nose.
Reve wrapped his arms around Nicholas’ shoulders, leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Please put that knife down, Nicky.”
The knife fell to the floor
(not worth it hes not worth it)
with a clatter.
“Witch.” Mr. Major breathed. “Devil’s power.”
Nicholas was sniffling, but without any doubt in his mind he said: “The devil’s got nothing to do with this. It’s me- me.”
“And it’s- he’s amazing.” Reve huffed.
“Nonsense.” Mr. Major rose from his crouch. “The devil is cunning. He gives you things- he tricks you- you know what he did to your mother-”
Nicholas chuckled with mirth. “She ran away, Papa.”
“She was seduced, she vanished into the night-”
“She ran away. Everyone knows that.”
(she knew she knew you were)
Reve put a hand over his mouth; Nicholas’ life was revealed to be more of a hellhole with every new fact he learned about his friend.
(can anyone tell me what abandonment means)
Nicholas sighed, “And I don’t wanna talk about these things anymore.”
(just wanted to talk like how all the other kids do with their)
Reve looked to Nicholas, his father, and then back to his best friend again.
“Are ya really sure you wanna go to prom? You don’t gotta go just for me.”
Nicholas smiled at him through the tears, the tea and nodded. He gripped Reve’s hand in his “We’re going.” Nicholas looked at his father. “We’re going to prom.”
And that affirmation is what sealed the boys’ fates.
—
Reve opened his umbrella and stepped out of the doorway.
“Have a good night, Reve.”
Reve nearly stepped off the porch. Instead, he whipped around to face Nicholas. He didn’t notice at the time, but he was crying. “Please- please promise me- that if I leave you alone with him, you’ll still call me in the morning.”
Nicholas was confused, but gave him a grin. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?”
“People like him- they- what if he-” Reve’s trembling lips stopped that track of words.
(no no i cant say it)
“Papa won’t do that.” For some reason, Reve felt like the other boy was lying through his teeth. “Things are gonna change around here.”
“Saturday night?” Reve sniffled.
Nicholas cupped Reve’s cheeks, stood on his tiptoes, and kissed away Reve’s tears.
He pulled away. “Saturday night.”
Reve nodded, turned away, and found the courage to drag his feet away from the Major bungalow and walk home.
(Author's Note: Sorry if this piece was heavy- the Carrie AU is kind of a personal story to me (aka mad projecting). I just really wanted to do something for a Stephen King anniversary because both his novels and Dreamtalia itself have carried me through tough times. Thank you for reading.)
(P.S Shout out to anyone who got the Utena reference)
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
finally got around to redesigning these two so i can finally give them an introduction
This is Loe (he/any) and Gavin! (he/they/it) (Vinnie for short) the Holy Spirit (it/its) is also there
Loe and Gavin are literally just God and Satan. Like, from the bible, and they’re also husbands
cut because it’s long
Loe, aka God, Lord, The Lord our God, Holy One, Him, Father, Father Thou Art In Heaven you get my point is… a character for sure! He is a fun one it’s very silly that i made the guy who’s supposed to be flawless one of my most flawed characters 👍
Anyway, he’s complicated, i’d say he’s doing his best but he really isn’t and that’s sorta part of his issue here :) His shirt also says “I’m God” on it
And then there’s Gavin! Aka Vinnie, Vincent (dubbed by Celeste, no ref for her yet), Satan, Lucifer, The Devil, Devil, The Devil From The Bible, Lilith in some cases, etc etc is also a complicated one but like. I think we knew this.
Now Vinnie is a trickster, a prankster, a scheming little guy, perhaps. His main thing is that he’s a really good liar, and really likes to use that fact to his advantage. Or in other words, he will just straight up lie to humanity about so so many things.
He likes to make himself out as a way worse guy than he actually is, he gives a different name every time he meets a new person, and he likes to just be silly in general. Honestly, get it dawg
He’s also got trauma, because well. We all know his story don’t we? And all that trauma has still been induced by the same guy from all the stories. This makes Loe’s and Gavin’s relationship extremely complicated, especially in the early days, but i’ll get to that lore post later 👍
There’s also that bird. Holy Spirit is technically also Loe, but like, a part that’s split off from him kind of it’s complicated. It’s a silly little bird that’s what it is :) Specifically, a dove, because symbolism and shit. It’s just kinda there sitting on Loe’s shoulder usually
#tw religious themes#birdo’s silly little guys#art#digital art#birdo makes the sillies real#birdo bintros
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
I’ve been inquiring into Orthodoxy for a few months (coming from protestantism) and I don’t know for certain yet if I will choose to convert, I guess because I have a few hangups. I attended Divine Liturgy at my local parish for the first time last week and intend to continue worshipping with them and talking to the priests there, but I figured I would bring my questions to you as well.
I’ve been watching interviews and talks from Dr. Jeannie Constantinou, who seems absolutely brilliant and I love her. I’ve heard her explain at least 5 different times now this notion of “phronema,” basically the mind of the Church (the mind of the Apostles, as taught by Christ) and how the Eastern phronema is so different from the West because of the West’s emphasis on human reasoning. I appreciate mystery; mysticism and apophatic theology is what attracted me to Orthodoxy in the first place. But while denouncing Western appeals to reason and emphasizing appeals to Tradition and the mysteries therein, two examples she brought up were same-sex marriage and universalism, basically saying that no matter how reasonable an argument one might make, it’s not Tradition and therefore invalid.
While I’m honestly not sure what to believe about homosexuality (I have pro-LGBT leanings personally but am unconvinced either way I guess), I believe in a “Biblical Universalism,” the idea that Hell is temporary and ultimately corrective rather than punitive, like a furnace to purify gold of any dross. It makes the most philosophical sense to me, I see it in the Scriptures, and (most importantly in this context) I see it as historical.
I’ve read a summary of the points brought up in the book “Universalism, The Prevailing Doctrine of the Christian Church During Its First Five Hundred Years” by John Wesley Hanson and found them to be very compelling. It seems to show that universalism ought to have been preserved in Tradition, but for many reasons did not, and instead the idea of eternal torment in Hell has solidified.
Now we’re in a spot where the likes of the brilliant Dr. Constantinou is saying that, no matter how reasonable a stance like this might seem, we cannot rely on our own reasoning, as she appeals to the Apostolic Tradition. Truly, I don’t want to be prideful or arrogant, and I wish to conform my thinking in all ways to Christ. But it seems that such a stance should have been Tradition all along.
Please, how can I reconcile this? I think I want to participate in the Orthodox life. I like your worship, your prayers, your fasting, your asceticism, your mysticism, and (the bulk of) your theology. I think Orthodoxy is likely the closest to ancient Christianity. But must I take your tradition as wholly infallible? Is this an issue I need to humble myself on and conform to, or can I truly be welcomed if this is my view?
Tradition isn't "wholly infallible" because, for the most part, it was created by man. In general Orthodoxy teaches that, although we do have all we need for Salvation, some things we do not know for sure and that sometimes we must rexamine said tradition for new truths. Homosexuality wasn't really explored by the early fathers because homosexuality as we know it didn't exist. I think people see the Bible (and the words of the Church Fathers) as too black and white rather than something nebulous and deep. A common belief in the Orthodoxy of the people is something called "Hopeful Universalism" wherein those who believe it (myself included) argue that because God is infinitely loving and good then he would likely wish to reconcile all sinners to him but that we cannot know for sure and that free choice presupposes that there must be an option for those who might never choose to reconcile. You'll find that Orthodoxy has a lot of variation in belief, just ask about our infinite arguments over if Toll Houses are literal, a metaphor or heresy! I think you're a lot like me my sibling in Christ and I'm still here! Keep at it my friend.
9 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
reficcostuff
maia reficco stuff
council-of-phantoms
Asylum
cracky-whacka
I tried¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯
ces53graffiti
Untitled
themeowstie
pizza cat/ Longcat.