aegon, drunk out of his mind: i don't know who you are, but my brother is going to find you and kill you for kidnapping me
aemond, just trying to get him back to his rooms: your brother is definitely going to kill someone.
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*Rhaenys, Corlys, Viserys and Daemon eating dinner*
Rhaenys: *pushes her plate away* I can't eat this, it's too hot.
Corlys: 😏
Viserys: .....No, don't you dare!
Corlys: You're too hot, but I still eat you.
Viserys: ONE DINNER IS ALL I ASK FOR!
Viserys: ONE DINNER! Where you don't allude to fucking my cousin!
Corlys: Actually I'm alluding to eating her out.
Corlys: Your Grace.
Daemon: *PTSD flashbacks of having walked in on Rhaenys and Corlys fucking*
Viserys: *having a breakdown*
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Allicent, borrowing Aegon’s laptop, sees the search history: Aegon, what the fuck is this?
Aegon, looking over her shoulder: Porn
Allicent: No, not that, the other thing!
Aegon: Oh
Aegon: A tutorial on how to boil water
Allicent:
Aegon:
Aegon: It didn’t work
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Viserys: Daemon! What on Earth was all that?
Daemon: I am not sure what you're referring to.
Viserys: You sunk an entire ship, Daemon!
Daemon: Are you sure that was me? I would think I would remember something like that.
Viserys: Daemon, I watched you set the captain on fire!
Daemon: That sounds dangerous.
Viserys: You were heabutting children off the side of the boat!
Daemon: That uh—that must have been horrifying to watch.
Viserys: And then you started making out with Rhaenyra!
Daemon: Thank God that the children weren't on board to see it.
Viserys: Uhh Daemon...why is the boat all red and sticky?
Daemon: Well I guess you could say it is red and sticky.
Viserys: Daemon...what are we standing in?
Daemon: Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?
Viserys: No, I would not believe that!
Daemon: Uhh melted gumdrops?
Viserys: No
Daemon: Boat nectar?
Viserys: No!
Daemon: Some of god's tears?
Viserys: Tell me the truth, Daemon!
Daemon: Fine!...It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B.
Viserys: Daemonnn!
Daemon: Well, they were uh— they were taking all the cresent rolls.
Viserys: I can't believe what I'm hearing!
Daemon: I will not apologize for art.
Viserys: ...Where are the other life boats?
Daemon: Whoa you won the prize! I didn't even notice that.
Viserys: Where are other life boats, Daemon?
Daemon: Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun probably at the bottom of the ocean. I stabbed lots of holes in them.
Viserys: Daemonnnn!
Daemon: I have a problem. I have a serious problem.
Viserys: You are just terrible today!
Daemon: Shhh do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.
Viserys: That's the sound of people drowning, Daemon!
Daemon: That is what forgiveness sounds like...screaming and then silence.
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