#in case you've been on twitter or something all day
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04/23/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Astroglide; Articles; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; Never Left Podcast; OFMD Colouring Pages; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika
== David Jenkins ==
Chaos Dad popped out to send some love and support today!
Img Src: David Jenkins Twitter
= Taika Waititi =
Well, Taika broke the internet today with his Belvedere commercial. Directed and starred in it. Be sure to open a window because it is hot.
youtube
= Samba Schutte =
Samba has started up a new T Shirt campaign to benefit the charity @everymomcounts that helps to make pregnancy and childbirth, safe and equitable! You can either buy a #CrewForLife t-shirt, or sign up for one of his baking classes/meet and greets!
Our Merch Means Death on Stands
Delicious Chaos with Samba Schutte
== Vico Ortiz ==
Vico starred in a short called Fire F*cking Fire and great news it's headed to the Tribeca Film Festival in June!
Img Src: Vico Ortiz IG
== Astroglide ==
Our besties over at @astroglideofficial put out a word search today with a few words/phrases you'll recognise!
Img Src: Astroglide Twitter
== Articles ==
Warner Bros. Stock Has Had a Rough Year. Why This Analyst Thinks It Will Get Even Worse.
Mark Indelicato Frustrated With Queer Shows Constantly Cancelled
== Fan Spotlight ==
== Cast Cards ==
Our fabulous @melvisik has another cast card for us! Tonight's is another one of the bourgeousie that Frenchie and Olu manageed to include in their Pyramid Scheme! They are the one that Olu told to "Go Away"!
Img Src: @melvisik's Twitter
== Never Left Podcast ==
Next episode of the podcast Never Left is out! This one is Beautiful Princess Disorder Part 5!
Never Left Instagram
Never Left Linktr.ee
== OFMD Colouring Pages ==
More colouring pages from the fantastic @patchworkpiratebear !
Visit their tumblr for more!
== Love Notes ==
Hey there Lovelies. Happy Taika Tuesday! Did you have a good day today?
Dad's comments today brought out a lot of folks sharing their stories on therapy and I wanted to chat about it for a moment.
First of all, if you're delving out for the first time (or trying again after years of not going)-- just know, you're being really brave. Depending on where you come from and your background, mental health may not have been something that your family prioritized (or maybe it was but therapy was never an option). It can be pretty scary to talk to someone you don't know about your inner most worries. You're taking a big step, and I'm proud of you for that.
You've looked at your situation, whatever tough things you're experiencing, and you've decided to prioritize you and your mental health-- and that's amazing. It's a hard decision to make sometimes, and as simple as it should be, it's not that easy. I'm so happy that mental health is talked about and therapy is so much more accepted now a days. Growing up I was in a situation where we "didn't talk about ourselves to other people" and that can be so very lonely when you are feeling really down.
I wanted to mention a couple things that I didn't know going into therapy-- in case they help at all, but obviously every experience is different, so feel free to take or leave the advice :)
Firstly, therapy doesn't solve things overnight. Sometimes it'll take weeks, or months, or years to unpack some of the things you really need to work through. It'll take time. When I went to therapy for the first time, for some reason I thought I'd just be able to dump all my problems out on a table and the therapist would pick one and we'd work on it. Instead it was a gradual thing, where they got to know me, I got to know them, and the more we talked the more we were able to unravel. I just don't want you to get discouraged if it takes longer than you planned, it's definitely a process.
Secondly, something to remember, is not all therapists are going to vibe with you. It took me a few tries before I found a therapist that really worked well with me. If you don't feel like it's helping, consider looking into a different therapist, sometimes it's not the therapy that you're struggling with, but just a mismatched vibe with your therapist. If you can help it-- don't give up right away, try another, I was really grateful that I did.
Thirdly, and if you're like me, this is a tough one. Remember to advocate for yourself. Sometimes a therapist may want to try certain therapies, or exercises, and it's something you've tried and just isn't working for you, or they want to go a medication route and you dont, or maybe they're saying something you disagree with. Remember you're your own advocate here, and they're here to help you, not hinder you from getting to where you want to be. Speak up for yourself if you can.
Lastly, therapy, especially the first few, don't always end in happy feelings. Think of it like a muscle in your leg that you haven't been using for years...and it's atrophied. You have to build that muscle back up, and it can really hurt occasionally during that time. You might leave therapy feeling worse once or twice because you're finally letting out some of that vitriol you've been holding onto for so long. It should feel better later.. maybe the next day, but it may not feel great the same day. That's a perfectly reasonable experience to have, and if you feel awesome, that is too!
Anyway lovelies, not sure if that helps, but I wanted to share it just in case it helped someone.
Whether you're going to therapy tomorrow, or soon, or ever, or never, I am really proud of you. You're doing what you need for you, and that's the most important thing. You deserve good things, and healthy thoughts and positive feelings. You really do. You got this <3
== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==
Tonight's theme is hats <3
Taika Gif Courtesy of the phenomenal @ofmd-ann, Darby gif Courtesy of the lovely @funforahermit
#daily ofmd recap#daily ofmd recaps#ofmd daily recap#ofmd daily recaps#vico ortiz#david jenkins#samba schutte#never left podcast#our flag means death#ofmd#rhys darby#taika waititi#Youtube#Spotify
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Goncharov
Why the hell is an MST3K blog rising from the dead to review a forgotten Martin Scorcese film? I'd never heard of this movie until it suddenly became a meme, but I had a day off work and I figured I might as well see what all the fuss was about. Now I want to talk about what I saw, and this is the only movie blog I have, so I'm doing it here.
Ivan Goncharov is the biggest, baddest motherfucker east of the iron curtain, richer than a tsar and colder than a Siberian winter. He's got a beef with Neapolitan mafioso Mario Giglioli, so he heads to sunny Italy to confront him in person. His closest confidante, Andrey, thinks it's suicide to do this on Giglioli's home turf but accompanies Goncharov anyway out of loyalty. What follows is a two-hour dick-measuring contest as Goncharov and Giglioli try to out-intimidate each other, culminating in an orgy of gunfire where only one will be left standing... and this is the kind of movie where you can't take it for granted that it'll be the guy whose name is the title.
That's the ostensible plot, anyway. What makes Goncharov a far more interesting film than such an outline might imply is that the argument between the mobsters is just a backdrop. Having set up Goncharov's hard as steel, cold as ice reputation in the first act, the movie then sets about deconstructing it. Goncharov goes from a terrifying figure devoid of all morality to a tragic antihero, a man who has come to believe his own hype so completely that he can no longer let himself be human.
This is demonstrated mainly by watching the breakdown of his relationships over the course of the tense three days in Naples. The most important person in Goncharov's life is Andrey, the only one he comes near being vulnerable with. Their relationship is depicted as very touchy-feely in a literal sort of way, with Andrey helping Goncharov with his coat and shoes, lighting cigarettes for him, and touching his shoulder or arm as Goncharov confides in him. The framing emphasizes these touches in a very homoerotic way, and I don't think I've got my tumblr goggles on here. These guys have fucked.
As Goncharov becomes more and more obsessed with being tougher and more ruthless than Giglioli, whom he sees as an effeminate softie, Andrey tries to persuade him that the other man is not worth this sort of obsession. Whatever Giglioli did to insult Goncharov (we never find out), Andrey is of the opinion that they should just leave a dead horse in the asshole's bed and move on. Goncharov's pride will not allow him to do that, and the less subtle Andrey is in his attempts to dissuade him, the more Goncharov pushes him away, finally abandoning him entirely. The tragedy of the ending comes from the fact that Andrey refuses to abandon Goncharov in turn.
We also see Goncharov with his wife Katya. He is frequently cruel to her, and she tolerates it because he gives her expensive gifts and because she is seeking a vicarious mending of her relationship with her abusive father - she was never able to earn his love, but perhaps she can earn Goncharov's. This is doomed to failure, as much because of Goncharov as because Katya doesn't actually want it to succeed. Nursing a black eye, Katya pours her heart out to a bartender, Sofia, who tries to help her escape... but this cannot work out, either. As Katya herself says, she doesn't know who she is without her issues.
I am pleased to note, by the way, that every single major character in the movie is named and I can remember them all, which is a bit of a treat for me (I need to watch good movies more often). The only exception is Goncharov himself. The end credits list him as Ivan, but nobody ever calls him that, not even Andrey or Katya. In a flashback scene with his parents, neither calls him by name. This flashback, fascinatingly, is filmed in the first person, looking through Goncharov's own eyes. We are not allowed to see him as a younger, softer man. He refuses to show that side of himself even in the privacy of his memories.
These quieter moments contrast with scenes of ever-escalating brutality, as the Russians and Italians try to force each other to back down by the murder of underlings. The fact that it is literally a contest, and that Goncharov is aware of this and describes it as such, makes the worsening violence ever more meaningless. The death of Giglioli's confessor is particularly awful, and the way Goncharov's goons treat the chapel has to be ten times worse if you're Catholic (fun fact: this scene is apparently removed from the Italian version on Netflix, which must make what Andrey says while waiting for the train into a hell of a non sequitur).
At the climax, the two really can't do anything but kill each other, because it's the only place left to go. Giglioli's priest and mistress are dead. Goncharov's men are almost all dead or out of action, and Goncharov believes Andrey to be dead. The initial insult, whatever it was, is no longer relevant. They have pushed each other to a place where reconciliation is unthinkable. Whoever blinks first loses, but both have already lost so much that victory means nothing. Worse, each recognizes that the other is in the same position, and neither can acknowledge it.
This means Goncharov can also moonlight as an examination of violence in media. Why do movies showcase violence, and why do we watch it? The initial posturing serves a purpose - Goncharov wants Giglioli to know he's here to personally demand an apology, and Giglioli wants Goncharov to know he's outnumbered and should quit while he still can. But once it becomes an exercise in one-up-manship, the 'messages’ vanish and the men are now killing for the sake of killing. Violence in movies can often be gore for gore's sake, pulling out more and more stops in the effort to shock an audience that has been desensitized by years and years of this. That is what Goncharov and Giglioli are doing to each other. Truly distressing moments like the fate of the priest, or what Giuseppe "Icepick Joe" Cozzolino (dressed as a maid!) does to Sofia when he assumes she's Katya because she was in Katya's hotel room, make us wonder why we're watching this - and the mobsters wonder why they're doing it.
In the end, it's all just a blood-soaked version of the sunk cost fallacy. Goncharov had come too far in his vendetta to stop now. Andrey has followed him too far to turn back. Katya has been married to him too long to leave. Of course, any of them could quit at any time and escape from this terrible spiral, but they are unwilling to entertain the possibility. Like Goncharov himself, Andrey and Katya are prisoners of the identities they have built for themselves, and because their identities are so tied to him, they have to go down with him.
One thing I haven't seen a lot of discussion of on tumblr is the way the film uses the contrast in climate. Goncharov in Moscow is in his element. When you see his breath in the wintry air it's as if he's breathing smoke like a dragon. While other people huddle in the cold he stands up straight and tall. In Naples, on the other hand, he is out of place. He wears lighter clothing, but continues to choose long coats and upturned collars, while Giglioli goes around with his shirt unbuttoned. This should serve to emphasize Giglioli's home field advantage and yet, as we see through Goncharov's eyes, they just make Giglioli look soft. His apparent weakness makes Goncharov want to appear even stronger.
On a related note, it is interesting to me how sunlight is treated as something very unfriendly. In Russia, it glitters on ice crystals in the air and lights up condensation, harsh and white and giving no warmth whatsoever. In Italy it bakes and shimmers on stone and asphalt, casting harsh, black-edged shadows and emphasizing creased brows and frowning mouths. Outdoor scenes are, as far as I can tell, always hostile interactions. Even indoor scenes in natural light: the priest dies with harsh sunlight streaming in through the broken chapel window. When characters are softer with each other, it is always under artificial illumination. Sunlight is too bright, too revealing. People like this need some shadows to hide in.
Did I like this movie? That's a tough question. It's not really the type of movie you 'like'. It's definitely powerful and well-constructed, thoroughly absorbing and all that. There's a taste of Greek tragedy in the inevitability of the ending and the way Goncharov is eaten alive by hubris. But I wouldn't say I liked it. The characters are all terrible people whose arcs involve them getting worse, and the whole thing feels deeply claustrophobic, as if I, too, am trapped in Goncharov's downward spiral. When characters realize their mistakes, it is only when it's too late to correct them - but only in their own minds. It's a very pessimistic story, about human beings who are overcome by the very worst parts of themselves.
Is Goncharov deserving of all those glowing reviews? Yes. Was it unfairly snubbed at the Oscars because the academy was turned off by the violence? Probably. Will I ever watch it again? Fuck, no.
Excuse me, I have to go watch some Pixar movies if I ever want to smile again.
#mst3k#reviews#episodes that never were#goncharov#70's#there are horses in this movie#unreality#in case you've been on twitter or something all day#this movie doesn't exist.#i read six text posts and pulled this out of my ass at one in the morning
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Hiya lovely, date night hcs for the boys if that's good by you?
Date Night HC (All Three)
contains: fluff, kissing, nothing crazy.
a/n: first time attempting to write nick romantically. lmk how we feel. love ya
Matthew
- i think a first date with matt would most likely be something at home. like cooking together and watching a movie. it'd honestly feel so casual except for his small little touches and moments of affection.
-i can just see him dropping you off after the date. y'all say goodbye and you're about to get out the car but at the last second, he stops you and leans over to kiss you for the first time.
-speaking of dropping you off, our boy is NOT pulling off until he see you open you door and go inside. he knows better.
-he does not want to do the whole "wait a while to see each other again" thing. after the first hang out, he's hooked. come back over... now
- car. dates. i'm talking random ass late night fast food runs. you stretching your legs out across his lap while you tell him a story and him just nodding and rubbing your ankle.
"do you think we need a telescope to see mars?"
and that turns into y'all laying on the windshield. you straining your eyes looking at the stars and him just staring at you instead.
- once y'all are official, i honestly feel like matt is the type to not even tell you y'all are going on a date. especially if you've been down lately and need a pick me up. he'd just show up like "can you get dressed?"
"i'm not really in the mood to go out."
"don'tttttttttt care. get dressed."
-def stalks your twitter and tiktok reposts to see if you have anything you really want to do & then surprises you. he's never gonna let you say 'if he wanted to, he would.'
"how did you know i wanted to do a picnic?"
"guess i'm just good like that."
Christopher
-chris is giving you the full gentleman treatment on your first date. he's never done this before so he's playing by the book. flowers, opening doors, the whole nine yards.
-super nervous at first when the date first starts but he loosens up once you start laughing. then he's just doing all kinds of goofy shit to keep you giggling.
- so we kind of already heard what he's perfect first date would be... topgolf yadda yadda. but my boy is NOT letting you win. he loves dates where there is competition but letting you beat him is not flirting where he's concerned. the first time y'all go bowling he's dropping 200 on you.
"really chris?"
"huh? my bad. thought a loser said something."
-for those same reasons he loves a good game night. doesn't even matter what you're playing. he loves how excited you get when you finally win at connect four & thinks it's adorable.
-wants the date to be alllll day and you don't mind at all. he picks you up at noon and the next you know it's late at night and y'all are walking through a random park.
-and you just know he's planned this date to the t. he'd pretend like he's being all spontaneous but bro's got an literary on his notes app just in case.
- loves going to concerts with you. doesn't even matter if its one of his artists or yours. just likes sharing the experience and music. hears the song live and becomes obsessed, playing it all the time when he's on aux.
"you're such a poser. you don't even like this song."
"shut up. that was before i saw it live."
-calls EVERYTHING a date. he's coming with you to run errands, go grocery shopping, it doesn't matter. as long as he's with you and can make you smile, he's calling it a win.
-still gets cringed out doing coupley things but finds himself doing it anyway. he's finally starting to understand why people do corny shit like put locks on a fence. he's still not doing that shit but he gets it now.
Nicolas
-i feel like nick would be hard to read so it'd take you a while to even know if he likes you back or not. but then when you finally get up the courage to ask nick on a date he's like... "bitch what took you so long"
-a perfect first date for him would be something creative or something where he can learn. like a pottery class or one of those places where you make your own candle.
-he'd get really into it too. he'd be going around smelling all the scents and turning his nose up at yours.
"don't burn that shit when i come over."
"alright, fuck you-"
-but if you went to a pottery class, you'd make him something small like a jewelry tray and he'd be swooning but trying to keep it cool. he'd probably make a joke about it but it'd be his prized possession, centerstage on his dresser.
-when its his turn to plan a date, he's going somewhere scenic where you guys can take in the view and he can have an excuse to take aesthetic pics of you. even takes a cheesy picture of the two of you kissing with a landscape behind you... not that he'd ever admit that it exists.
"i swear to god, if you ever post that, i'll kill you."
"adding it to my 'nick sturniolo blackmail' folder as we speak."
-would buy one of those adventure books with the date prompts that you add polaroids to and you guys would fill it up. he'd probably be super embarrassed at how cheesy it is but too in love to care.
-loves a good classic dinner and a movie too. always watching the movie first though because he has a million thoughts he needs to share. and you're happy to listen to him ramble on and on.
"-i haven't seen anything like that since donnie darko. that shit was insane. did you see-... why are you looking at me like that."
"you're just pretty. that's all."
"... boy... we're breaking up."
but he can't stop himself from smiling at your corny ass.
-you'd def surprise him by finding a drag show and taking him. he'd be looking at you so sideways when you pull up to a nightclub but you probably actually yelp when he realizes where you are. and at the show, you already know he's blushing a deep red anytime one of the queens interact with him during the performance.
🏷️/ @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos
@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper @st4rswrld @thvvluvr @sturnssmuts @littlenerdybee @sturniolossss @iloveneilperry @eclipzz @sstvrnioloo @chrissloverrrrrrr16
@clemlament @maryx2xx @fwskullz
#maggie b writes#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo headcanon#sturniolo headcannon#sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo headcanon#nick sturniolo headcanon#sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo x reader
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"i've been in the state for weeks, but i still don't have my desire yet!"
why you might not "have" your manifestation yet
this is a question i see a lot, mostly on twitter. i ended up making a thread about it, and since you guys are my day 1's, i decided to also convert it into a post for you guys!
let's be honest with ourselves.
firstly, if you're acknowledging that you don't have your desire, then you're not in the state of the wish fulfilled.
secondly, you shift in and out of states all day long. you are not going to be in the state of the wish fulfilled for days straight--lets alone weeks--and that's okay! there's really no need to be.
you just need to enter the state of the wish fulfilled MORE FREQUENTLY than you enter the state of lack. so, if you fall out of your desired state 10 times in a day, your goal is to shift back to your desired state 11 times that day.
entering your desired state more than the state of lack will make it become your dwelling state, and your dwelling state is what manifests.
your dwelling state = the state you most frequently go back to
so, if your 3D is still showing you lack, that means the state of lack is still your dwelling state. which means throughout the day, you are falling out of the state and not shifting back to it.
which means, no, you haven't "been in the state for weeks."
so how do you know you fell out of the state and need to shift back to it?
-you're doubting
-you're wondering where your desire is
-you're checking the 3D
-you're acknowledging you don't have your desire yet
your state creates your thoughts, so your thoughts act as indicators of what state you're in.
so what do you do if you notice you're doing/thinking one of these things?
you shift back to your desired state. if you don't, you will remain in the state of lack. which means for that day, you will have entered the state of lack more than the state of the wish fulfilled.
and what happens if you enter the state of lack more frequently than the state of the wish fulfilled? the state of lack will remain your dwelling state. which means you will continue not seeing your manifestation reflected in your 3D.
if you have truly been entering your desired state more frequently than the state of lack, you would see your desire reflected in your 3D. so if you don't "have" your manifestation yet, you haven't changed your dwelling state yet. so there's no "i've been in the state and i don't have my desire yet." you've still be in the state of lack more than the state of the wish fulfilled.
there's no pressure to be perfect when you first start manifesting something! (or ever, tbh). if you go back to the state of lack without realizing it at first, that's okay! you're not "doing it wrong", you're just still learning! you'll get better at recognizing the fact you've fallen out of the state.
but if you say "i've been in the state but i don't have my desire yet", i immediately know that's not the case. because your state creates your thoughts, and that particular thought is a product of the state of lack.
you need to take responsibility. it's no one's fault but your own if you haven't changed your dwelling state yet. once again, it's okay if you're not perfect when you start manifesting. but if you're blaming not having your desire on other people, you don't understand the main concept of manifestation, which is that YOU create your reality. it's no one's fault but your own, and that's a good thing! you don't have to rely on anyone else; the power is entirely in your hands.
when you notice a doubt or negative thought arise, you can feel it for a moment if you need to, or rant about it, but afterwards you need to shift back into the state of the wish fulfilled.
it gets easier and easier to do this. it's like learning how to do anything: it's hard the first few times, but as you practice, it gets easier and easier. it's become easier for you to realize you fell out of the state you want to make your dwelling state, and easier for you to shift back to it.
don't give up because it's difficult for you at first! maybe the first day, you'll fall out of the state 15 times and only manage to shift back to it 10 times. but then the next day, you fall out of the state 15 times, and you shift back to it 12 times.
it'll get easier and easier, until eventually that gap closes and you are able to shift back to the state every single time you fall out if it! and then, your new state becomes your dwelling state!
it's important to note that shifting back to your desired state ≠ flipping your thoughts. in fact, most people i've helped with manifestation find it much easier and more effective to just ignore the thought rather than to flip it.
why does this work? because all you need in order to shift states is intention.
to intend = to have a plan, result, or purpose in your mind when you do something
so when you ignore a thought, you do it with the purpose in mind to shift back to your desired state.
so if you notice a thought that doesn't line up with the state you want to be in, and you make the conscious decision to ignore it and not give it any power or further thought, you are intending to shift back to your desired state.
it can really be as easy as that!
to end this post i just want to reiterate the fact that you don't need to feel bad if you're not perfect at first! just keep getting back on the horse, and with persistence you will make your desired state your new dwelling state!
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Hi, I hope your day is going as well it can be with all the news
Would it be possible to get an explanation on why the union did not initiate contact besides on Twitter? I'm not French, but is not contacting the other party common practice there? Does like the whole 'We asked him to work with us on Twitter' hold up in court? In addition if you don't mind summarizing how the laws work?
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, it's really more confusion and curiosity. Plus whenever I'm nervous, I sound like a robot. But if this gets answered great, if not thank you for all your posts on the situation going on.
Au revoir and best of wishes again (if you've already answered this already sorry and I think that's how you spell it I haven't taken French in years)
Hey finally getting to answering this !
Ok so first : Do I think the union could have sent an email ? Yes and that would have been a great thing. Now my beef is with people complaining that they didn’t as if it’s their fault that communication is this case is so bad.
So first, it’s common (at least in France) for unions to release public statements when they’ve stumbled upon a case of a company mistreating their workers in any way. This is usually to 1) Collect more testimonies if there are any 2) Let the public know that said company is hurting their workers so that people can be aware that this is what they support if they still give money to said company
The union here wasn’t obligated to help, they chose to step up after Lea’s statement since the admins testimonies revealed multiple workers rights violations in Qstudios. Their goal was for the admin’s rights to be recognised so they could work in lawful conditions. The best way to that is to try to reach an amicable solution (no one involved probably wants to go to court as it it long tiring and expensive).
So yeah you should see that in a « You did something bad, we are willing to offer our help, if you’re interested by said help please contact us » thing. I would also like to reiterate that it shouldn’t be up to the victims side to be the one trying to right the wrongs of the company.
How would Qstudios not answering a Twitter statement hold up in court ? It wouldn’t because it’s not even the point : Legally the problem is the lack of communication with the workers, not with the union. A company don’t have to work with an union and the union didn’t have to offer them their help.
I feel like I didn’t express my thoughts in the best way rip, hope it still makes sense somewhat ! I would be glad to explain how the law works here just ask me precisely about what bc french law is a big big can of worms 😭
(Also labour law isnt my specialty however I do know the basics)
and yes ahah that’s how you type au revoir
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OMG Tae did way worse than I expected 💀💀💀
Slow Dancing - #3 on Billboard's Global Excl US. Jimin did #2 because of that Morgan whale
#4 on Billboard's Global 200 this week! - JM #2
BB 200 - Tae - #2 100K album, JM #2 164K.
BB 100 - Jm #1, Tae - #51 💀💀
the way most popular member charted below than Suga is crazy lol. Even Jimin's all hated Bside SMF ate it up so bad (#30 BB). This is answer to his rabid stans than internet popularity doesn't give you a shit irl. First outchart supposedly unpopular rapline before getting Park Jimin's lowest numbers lmao
Before I comment on this I would just like it to be known; I AM NOT A V ANTI!!!!!
This isn't a disclaimer. I am only stating this because of the asks I've go10 shitting on him. I will not be posting those. I don't blame anyone but myself. I know I have allowed people to vent about him here before and I was definitely among the people getting pissed at the JK name dropping but I'm pretty chill these days. So V's antics don't bother me and also there is something about binging all that Layover content continously that just reminds you that V is not the monster people paint him out to be.
If you haven't had the time i recommend this video. It was my favourite and I quite enjoyed it.
youtube
He is funny and honestly I also wanna say adorable 😂😂
Sure, the way he treats those around him could use some adjustment. But those around him seem to love him just fine so who I'm I to be mad at him, you know?
Now that that's out of the way, let's indeed talk numbers. I've said multiple times the 2 most popular members are Jimin and JK. Not V and JK. We've seen this before but sure, let's revisit the topic.
So a friend of mine who quite enjoys keeping tabs on numbers did the following math:
September 9th Streams, Thailand percentage compared to overall Streams:
Seven: 17,6 %
Slow Dancing: 29,6 %
Like Crazy: 8,7 %
So this is the amount of Streams Thailand had for the Maknae line Main Tracks on September 9th, Compared to worldwide Streams.
😁
Maknae Line, Main Track Streams Debut Day. Global vs USA vs Thailand
Debut Streams "Seven":
Global: 15,99 M
USA: 2,064 M (12,9 %)
Thailand: 1,3 M (8,13 %)
*
Debut Streams "Like Crazy":
Global: 6,6 M
USA: 0.997 M (15,1 %)
Thailand: 0,165 M (7,5 %)
*
Debut Streams "Slow Dancing":
Global: 6,14 M
USA: 0,388 M (6,3 %)
Thailand: 0,970 M (15,8 %)
These are the Streams for each Main Track's Debut Day. Global vs US vs Thailand
In conclusion:
-USA and Thailand looooooove JK. BUT Seven is charting in 71 out of 72 (wow) eligble Spotify countries. So it's a bob and a hit globally.
-USA loooooooooves Jimin. Thailand, not so much 😬
-Thailand absolutely looooooves V. USA, not so much.
But we kinda already knew this no? Alot of vermin are in Thailand, Vietnam and Philippines, etc. SouthEastAsian is Taekook domain statistically speaking. But the thing is, its still mostly V they prioritize. SEVEN experienced global success coz JK appears to be a fan favourite everywhere. So that helps him even when the SouthEastAsians decide to mostly support V.
So assuming these calculations are correct, which they should be since they are from Spotify Global, (feel free to go do your own) I really don't understand how it was concluded V is the most popular member. And there is many more countries to choose from, my friend only used Thailand coz its one of the countries that stream the most.
People assuming V is the most popular coz of his followers on IG, Guys, Instagram is only one app. V solos n V biased Armys can convince themselves that he's the most popular but numbers do not lie. Chapter 2 has shown that that, is not the case at all. I mean if you've been on twitter you've seen V hasn't even been able to beat Suga in certain categories and records. Like anon said.
The purpose of my post is not to say V isn't liked. That would be a lie. I'm just saying if anything JK is the most popular BTS member. And that's on fax 💯💯💯💯 with Jimin being a very, very, close second. And I know by saying this I am beating a dead horse atp but if Jimin had go10 the push JK did they would either be head to head or he would have surpassed him. So imagine what a big deal it is, that Jimin is doing so well right now and he didn't even get that huge company support.
US album sales were 3K according to Billboard, thats like 30k singles. China did 800k 😱 Asia loves V. US however, which is where it counts for Billboard, do not. Billboard sabotaged all Asians after Jimin won, which means if JK hadn't go10 radio play he never would have won. So, without radio play, V was never going to get that number 1. Those who aren't dillusional already knew this. So we aren't surprised
#ask shaz#bts ask#jimin is king#bts#jimin face#jungkook seven#v layover#jimin#jungkook#jikook#power couple
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Now that I'm slightly less in the spotlight, I'd like to talk about what has been going on and give my side. I'm sure you've all seen what has been said about me, but in case you haven't, this will include a discussion about zoophilia, zoosadism, pedophilia, and taboo kink/fetish.
I've taken several days to write this because I needed to clear my head so I could write something concise. I did not want to immediately write something too quickly that I couldn't think through.
I don't expect anyone to completely understand me or totally agree with my opinions, but I am writing this with full sincerity. I'd just like a little bit of faith when you read this. My positions are based on the science that I read, and I try to be someone that sticks to the side of evidence, not one of pure feelings or assumptions or what we think is common sense, even when it is difficult to understand or seems counterintuitive. I've always preached this principle on here, so I hope you all feel the same way. I ask that you read this with that in mind. Even if you don't reach the same conclusion as me, consider what I say and what I give with good faith.
All linked sources with restricted access can be read by copy/pasting the url or title into sci-hub
First, that twitter account is mine. The art contained on the twitter account is mine. Yes it is graphic. No I am not a zoophile, zoosadist, or pedophile. I understand this kind of art is disgusting and/or disturbing to many people. That is why I kept it on an account specifically for this kind of extreme art. It is why I don't advertise it. I am not secretive about my kinks/fetishes - I enjoy things like gore, noncon, and animal characters - but I know when and where these kinds of things are appropriate. Some of my art is not meant for a general audience. I won't advertise it to anyone and everyone to see because it can be upsetting to most people. That's also why I give plenty of content warnings and include the twitter censor that blurs the image and you have to click 'show' on to see. And that's why I believe posting screenshots of this material with my username, showing everyone exactly where to go to find this content, is irresponsible. I know the people that posted it think they're doing a service, but this is how children find content they shouldn't see. Callouts are how people find things they otherwise would never see. I, personally, don't think calling people out this way helps kids. I think it does more harm than good. My twitter was public but is now private because I don't want curious minors to look me up and look at what is on the account.
I understand that it can be hard to know why someone would enjoy erotic art of violence between animal characters without being a zoophile/zoosadist. But there are many reasons people enjoy taboo erotica without desiring it in the real world. About half of people experience paraphilic sexual fantasies, and the fantasies alone are not indicative of pathology. Deviant sexual fantasies are, in fact, "within the normal realm of human experience." There is little evidence that fantasy alone means someone wants to or will commit a sexual offense. Forced sex fantasies are extremely common. Violent sexual fantasies are not abnormal. Sex therapists and educators acknowledge that fantasies are not necessarily repressed desires. Sexual fantasy is not sexual desire. It's ok for our sexual interests to not reflect our moral code. Often taboo sexual fantasies are a way to explore how we feel about things, like repulsion. Humans are curious animals. We have morbid curiosities. Fantasies can be a way to experience something that would be immoral to act upon.
Why I am into taboo kink is hard to explain, and a lot of it I don't understand myself - human minds are very complex - but I can try to explain some of it. I enjoy exploring the darker parts of humanity. We're still animals and that means we still hold onto aspects that don't align with our morals. We have morbid curiosities. When we pass by a car crash, we want to see it, or when someone tells us something disturbing is spreading on the internet, we take interest in what it could be. Art is a way to fulfill that curiosity without any victims. Another thing is that it can be fun or therapeutic to imagine yourself in situations of bodily harm. That's probably confusing, but I like to explore what my body looks like on the inside, or what it would feel like to experience certain physical traumas, without the threat of dying. Fear and arousal are closely intertwined. The animal characters I draw are also very far removed from real world animals. They are sapient and behave very human. To me the only difference between them and an anthro furry character is the number of legs they walk on and the lack of clothes.
Because I draw this kind of content, many people are claiming that I am faking having ZOCD and my intrusive thoughts, or that my intrusive thoughts have turned into wanted thoughts. They say that if I really was distressed by these thoughts, I wouldn't engage with them through art. But my intrusive thoughts are about real people and animals. I do not have intrusive thoughts about characters. I watch movies and read books with murder, kidnapping, torture, disease, and freak accidents and enjoy these pieces of media. This does not negate the fact that I have intrusive thoughts about these things or the distress I feel regarding them. Someone getting hurt in a movie does not distress me. My intrusive thoughts include ideas of me or a loved one getting hurt, or me suddenly hurting someone. Intrusive thoughts target your fears and your morals. They make you question who you are as a person. That's why thoughts of real world violence are so distressing and depictions of violence in media are (usually) not. I fear losing someone I love, I fear losing a part of my mind or body, I fear losing control of my humanity and hurting someone, I fear loss of inhibition that makes me do things I wouldn't otherwise do. I don't fear hurting a character or a character doing a bad thing to another character. When I'm obsessing and becoming paranoid it's not over things that happen in fictional worlds. My therapist doesn't have to reassure me that I'll be ok if something bad happens in that fictional world. She does have to reassure me that the world isn't out to get me and that I don't have to act on a thought. Others with OCD might find media that resembles the content of their intrusive thoughts triggering, and that's normal, but not everyone will react the same. Not everyone copes with their mental illnesses the same way or has the same triggers. Most violent depictions just don't garner that same reaction from me because I don't have any moral qualms with fake people or animals getting hurt since they aren't real victims. It doesn't attack my moral beliefs that way. It may be upsetting to see, but doesn't make me fear for my or others' safety.
I love horror movies and haunted houses. I love the adrenaline and fear I experience during them. But I still metaphorically shit my pants at the thought of an actual serial killer stalking me and jumping out of a hiding spot. The difference is that the former exists in a safe space that I can leave and where I know it's a script. How I feel about a scenario in fiction does not dictate how I feel about it happening in the real world. To tell me that I don't actually have the disorder that I've been diagnosed with is extremely upsetting. So is to tell me I'm hiding secret bloodthirsty desires behind a mental illness or that I'm making OCD look bad by not having a moral conundrum about fake people or animals being hurt. I especially don't appreciate people that don't have OCD preaching about what "real" intrusive thoughts are or what I should or should not be doing while having OCD. The things that have been said to or about me have been undeniably ableist. And the distress that has caused me has just been brushed aside because I don't adhere to what people think I as a person with OCD "should" act like. I feel like I'm not being granted agency over my own experiences.
I am even being compared to some of the worst people like Kero the wolf or HypnotistSappho. I hope you believe me when I say that is truly disgusting and offensive. These were the kinds of people that belonged to groups for sharing material of real animals being tortured for sexual pleasure, or tried to start an organization to promote bestiality, or openly promoted zoophilia and pedophilia as normal sexual orientations, or actively abused children and animals. I have not done anything like that. My artistic expression is nothing like their real world, extensive and widespread levels of abuse. I am so offended that I'd spend years spreading animal welfare advocacy, including explicitly anti-bestiality rhetoric, only to be lumped in with monsters, like my art erases all the work I've done. How someone could believe I actually desire to torture animals baffles me. How someone could think all this work was just master manipulation to con everyone so I could secretly abuse leaves my head spinning.
I also haven't ever claimed that my nsfw art is a coping mechanism for my OCD/intrusive thoughts. This is an assumption people have made. Occasionally elements of my intrusive thoughts will make their way into my art as a way to confront them head on on my own terms, but almost always are not a factor in my nsfw art. Art based on my intrusive thoughts as catharsis I don't share publicly.
Yes, I enjoy hurting fictional characters. They exist in a world with no consequences. Nobody actually gets hurt. Anything can happen to them and nothing about the world changes. I have no desire to hurt an animal, because that impacts the real world. I have never looked at an animal and felt excitement at the idea of hurting it. I have never felt attraction to an animal. I have never felt the urge to make sexual contact with an animal. I have never experienced attraction to a child, either.
I am also being accused of being a pedophile. This is because I made a tweet saying I enjoy explicitly abusive relationships between adult and minor characters, but don't enjoy minor/adult ships depicted as cute or wholesome. People interpret this as me having a malicious desire to abuse a child. But here's the thing: you don't know why someone enjoys a certain dynamic. Many people that like to see abusive relationships depicted in stories or erotica are survivors of abuse themselves. Many people use kink as a coping mechanism, and the stigma of their kink play often hinders them from trauma recovery. Like I said before, kink and fantasy are not morality guidebooks. This also assumes every character drawn in ship art or erotica is an object of attraction to those that create or consume it. But even porn can serve a purpose other than arousal. Personally I just like these dynamics because they offer a compelling story and/or character interactions that can explore trauma and its effects and can feel therapeutic to work through.
Art does not exist in a vacuum. I don't argue it does. Art is influenced by its creator. But you can't look at the content of someone's kink or fantasy to judge the quality of someone's character. This is the position of professionals that study and counsel people. Whether or not someone commits a sexual offense is more influenced by that person's personality traits, moral positions, pre-existing positive beliefs about offending, environment, and negative emotional states. And, look, fiction does indeed effect reality, but there is little evidence that porn encourages someone to offend or results in more violent offenses. Availability of porn may even be associated with lower levels of sexual aggression. This professional report goes into great detail on sexual offending and concludes that there is no reason "scientific or otherwise" for criminalization of any type of virtual porn because it does not lead to offending, and may even provide a substitute for people that may otherwise offend. Even if you find that content reprehensible. Offensive art has its place and deserves to exist. That is the position I have come to based on the scientific evidence.
And I want to make another thing clear: I am not a proshipper. Disliking the position of one group does not make me a member of a different group. I have no desire to put myself in a category, I just have my own opinions. I also have plenty of issues with the proship community. I just now look at fiction and kink with more nuance than I used to. I don't participate in fearmongering based on knee-jerk reactions to media anymore.
Going forward I'm going to do my best to be more responsible with my nsfw accounts. Any interactions I've made with minors are honest mistakes. I genuinely don't want to expose minors to my nsfw or interact with them. I don't go out seeking minors to talk to. But I know interacting with minors through an nsfw account is serious, so I'm going to do better to police myself and always check that no one I'm interacting with is underage.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Sadly I expect many people won't read this, they'll just continue to repeat "zoophile" and "pedophile." But I really appreciate you if you took the time to read. I know many people really do want to be good and believe they are protecting people by engaging in callouts against people for their fictional interests. I think most people have their hearts in the right place but are misguided by the current culture. And I don't mind if you disagree with me, but I always want people to take their positions with the most information. I want there to be honest discussions about these topics, not naming and shaming people.
I might make updates to this post if I think of things I forgot to address. Like I said, it's been many days of my head buzzing and this post is also very long. I welcome any good faith questions or concerns. People that come just to attack in bad faith will just be blocked. I won't humor that. Please meet me with the same honesty I came with. I want to continue to do good.
-Agro
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Not sure if you reblogged the prompt list wanting people to prompt you, but in case you did: candituft for adoribull :3
❀ candytuft (indifference) — “i said that i didn’t care, but i lied.” [prompt me]
"What is your problem, Bull?"
The Iron Bull considers Dorian with his one eye. He's stood in the last of the warm spring sunlight on the battlments overlooking the keep, as the sun begins to dip below the horizon.
It's all pink and gold, real pretty. Dorian's skin looks incredible in the dying light.
"What's that, big guy?"
"Don't you 'big guy' me," Dorian says, and there's real annoyance there, not just bluster. "You have no right to meddle in my affairs."
"That what they're calling it these days," the Bull says, going for slightly lecherous, to lighten the mood. He fixes Dorian with a full body appraisal for good messure.
"Stop it!"
The Bull pushes himself off the battlements, straightening to his full height. He's not trying to intimidate him or anything, Dorian is tall and well-built for a mage, but he's still nearly two feet shorter than him.
"You're going to have to be more specific."
"You said you didn't care when I come and go, that where I lay is my business, your door's always open, so on and so forth." Dorian flourishes his wrist for effect. "I thought we had an understanding. What a surprise for me to find you've been putting in words for me."
Ah, that.
"Dorian, I didn't mean--"
"You're not my keeper, Bull! You've not right to me just because you've fucked me. I can handle my daliances myself, I don't need you coming in with, what was it?"
If you hurt him, you'll answer to me.
Dorian's impression of him is not good, but it's an accurate quote.
The Bull has the good sense to look slightly abashed, called out so. Shit, he'd never wanted Dorian to find out.
"Look," he says, raising a placating hand. "I know I said I didn't care you else you fuck, but I lied."
"Oh, you lied. What a surprise, Hissrad lied!"
The Bull doesn't wince, because he knows Dorian's a good guy, and he's going to beat himself up about that enough later.
"I do care, when the person you're fucking is an asshole. I heard him talking about you in the Rest."
"Well," Dorian says, and blinks a few too many times. "What did he say?"
"I don't think it matters."
"If it's my honour you're defending, I have a right to know how it's being sullied."
The Bull sighs.
"I don't care who's bed you go to, but I think him telling his soldier friends that you're a whore is something I'm okay to be pissed off about."
"Ah."
Dorian deflates right before his eyes, any will to pick this fight gone out him.
"You're a good guy, Dorian," he says, allows his name to be soft in his mouth. "You deserve kinder hands."
"Like yours, Bull?" Dorian says, part challenge, part something the Bull can't place.
"I told you, my door's always open for you."
— — —
You can find more of my fic here. I’m also on Twitter or Discord (Quan Tea Co & Adoribull Holiday) if you want to hang out!
#my fic#adoribull#dorian pavus#iron bull#dragon age#hey remember trespasser?#“i want to talk about my feelings dorian”#me too
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La passante de la Place des Vosges/ The Passerby of the Place des Vosges: in praise of Caitríona Balfe
I have recently discussed, in as much detail as possible without becoming completely boring, S's memoir Waypoints. It is, no doubt, an interesting strategic step, aiming to buy much needed time and respite from unwanted fan attention.
But if there is a memoir I would probably read in a very different, almost sentimental way, that would be hers, not his.
We have an enticing idea of the way she writes, with this lesser known essay published by the totemic NYT just a day shy of her birthday, in 2017: The First Time I Left Home (and Fell in Love), which you can read online right here - https://shorturl.at/uTX12. It is a short, dense piece with a deeply personal, even sentimental, view of Paris in autumn and spring. Something very unusual for the feisty, secretive, almost paranoid C we all know and love (admit it, you do: fair's fair). It immediately grabbed both my attention and highlighter.
Writing about Paris, especially from an Anglo-Saxon/American perspective, is a very tricky affair. So much has been said and done, from Janet Flanner's priceless Letters from Paris and Paris Journal, to Anais Nin, to Edmund White, to Hemingway, to Orwell - just to name the ones that immediately come to mind. In this particular case, we'd be dealing with a nice PR fine tuning detail, with a relatively short lifespan, aiming perhaps to reach a more sophisticated demographic than Twitter banter or a three minutes long Q&A about the current season's antics. But a wonderful detail, nevertheless.
The year is 1998. A young 19-year old Irish model wannabe just landed in the chaotic brouhaha of Roissy Airport and the first contact is brutal, language being a considerable barrier. But before that, we are treated to a masterful bistrot snapshot, with a cheeky, self-deprecating sense of humor. I mean how perfect is this?
Quite a contrast to the dream version back home:
Touché. All the moody young Frenchmen are named Pierre, C. All. Of. Them. As for watching far too many French films, there's always been something very Nouvelle Vague about you, Jeanne Moreau and Jules et Jim & all that, and I have to say this is what I found immediately endearing. I am not talking about Claire Fraser: it is you, emphatically you. The kind of impeccably dressed woman one can find pretending to read Le Monde at Le Café de Flore's terrace in Saint-Germain-des-Prés. The kind of self-evident, celestial creature whose high heels are never heard on any pavement (what is your secret?). Late Jane Birkin didn't even come close, C., mark me. However, red lipstick stains look way better on the rim of a nervously half drunk cup of noisette coffee: but then, that is me.
It was not at all like that, of course, but then something happened just across the street from the Saint-Eustache church, at Quigley's Point, a long gone Irish pub I vaguely remember. Circa 1998, our own boisterous squad used to play darts and get plastered on cheap draft beer and that undignified, syrupy manzana Basque liqueur (idiots, I am telling you, but it was very cheap) at The Bombardier, on the Place du Panthéon, just across the Seine:
Thick brogue, a quick laugh, kind eyes and blonde hair. An interesting combo, for sure. No further comment except well, this is very personal, isn't it? You've said it yourself: sometimes (fun fact: always) the really important people have nothing to do with fantasies. But we know, C, we know.
And then, suddenly, it all falls into place: Stendhal would talk about a crystallization moment. It is that split-second when everything becomes very clear. A pact of sorts occurs and all barriers are lifted. For C, it happened in one of the perfect places of this planet, spare perhaps the Piazza del Campo, in Siena:
No doubt, by tomorrow evening at the latest, I will be crucified by Mordor, but this made me think of that - different setting and context, same type of seminal moment. Draw your own conclusions:
(SRH, Waypoints, Day Four: The Hard Road)
Important things happen, too, Place du Panthéon and this moved me to bits, even if this was not a happy ending. So shamelessly glad it wasn't, by the way:
For (and forgive me for ineptly tinkering with your words) "It’s true, you never forget your first love". And for that man on that random pavement in LA, that will always be you, passerby of the Place des Vosges. The wonder you are, despite anything else: it is perfectly irrelevant.
Jacques Brel says it best, in what is almost a prayer:
youtube
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[ 001 ] Brand Spankin' New.
⎯⎯ PAIRING: lee minho x reader/oc
⎯⎯ TAGS: enemies with serious tension, childhood friends to enemies, revenge eras, college au, angst, bad humor bc i'm not as funny as i think i am, misunderstandings, unrequited feelings
⎯⎯ RATING: 18+, mature
⎯⎯ WARNINGS: drug use (weed), excessive cursing, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of sex and sexual themes (non explicit)
⎯⎯ WORD COUNT: 4k (4.972)
⎯⎯ SUMMARY: karma (kar·ma) defined as "(in hinduism and buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences". you've always been a big believer in karma and the universe, knowing that eventually all energy is returned. so when your life is ruined by someone you used to call your best friend, you wonder why karma is taking it's sweet time in retaliating against him. what hurts more is your university won't punish something based on hearsay and so it's up to you to find the proof that lee minho is an evil mastermind and get his ass removed from school for good.
[ masterlist ]
“Did you guys see her newest tweet?” There’s a voice off to the right but you’re not paying much attention. The smoke curls around you in a comforting way that has you leaning back on the beanbag and letting out a content groan. You know exactly what they’re talking about, you’re the one who posted the tweet after all. Not that they know that, no one knows that. Not even your best friends, the people that you’ve shared every embarrassing detail of your life with.
“How do you know the account is a woman?” One of those aforementioned best friends speaking up. Mae, the calm to your storm, the one you find yourself relying on more and more these last few weeks. She never left your side, even supported your idea to take that much needed leave of absence from school after he ruined your life.
But the new year is here, the fall semester officially starts in one week and it’s the first day of rush. The weather is cooling off from the blistering summer, the leaves are changing, and you decided to take their lead and change with them. No more wallowing, no more hiding in your apartment while everyone else has a life without you. Your break is done, you kept up your end of the deal with the dean to take your finals when it came time. You passed, thankfully, and that meant you could start your third year of university with a clean slate.
The discussion draws you back in, hearing the argument about who the mysterious twitter account holder could be. The voice, belonging to the boy Mae had invited, continues. “The way they hate him, it has to be an ex.” You want to snort but instead you just shift in the beanbag, wondering if you laid here long enough if it would just swallow you slowly like quicksand. “You had to admit, he’s dated some questionable people in the past. I wouldn’t put it past a few of them to do this.”
You remain silent, best to not say anything in case you come off a little too smug or a little too prideful of that last tweet. Really you’re not the one coming up with most of the tweets, people are sending so many messages to the anonymous twitter account that you’re having a hard time working through them all. Some are good ones, things you schedule to post through the day. Some messages, you can attest, are from some of his more unstable exes. Those you just delete when you get them, deciding not to entertain the possible storm that could create.
“Who’s dated questionable people?” A new voice, one familiar that raises the imaginary hackles on your back. Really if you were a cat you’d be puffed up and hissing at the newcomer, claws swiping at him to leave.
“Your best friend.” The words taste like venom dripping from your tongue as you open your eyes, settling them on Jisung with a sneer. He at least has the decency to shrink away from your glare. He looks startled, as if he wasn’t expecting you to be there at all. Maybe he’s terrified because of the vitriolic tone you used in addressing him. You don’t care, you don’t want him in your safe circle, sucking up the smoke that’s keeping you calm.
“You’re- I-” He stammers, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you. “I didn’t know you were going- that you’re here.” So he didn’t expect you to return after his mentioned best friend had broken you so deeply, left you with scars that lingered and barely healed. Some days they were fresh wounds, some days they were scabs that you couldn’t stop picking at. Today it’s a bright pink scar, tender and the slightest brush makes you wince in pain.
“Look like you’ve seen a ghost, Han Jisung.” You level him with your gaze again, watching with a satisfied smirk as he shrinks further away from you. You say his name like a curse, as if it’s the most horrific sounds your lips have shaped.
“Stop.” The singular word draws your look from Jisung to your best friend, catching her eyes and you calm down a little. She presses a hand to your thigh, fingers gripping into your thigh in warning. “Hi, Jisung. Are the other’s here?” She glances around, looking past him in search of those other six familiar faces. You wonder the same thing but she’s always been the softer of you two, the quiet breeze compared to your tempest winds.
“Yeah, yeah. They’re, um, around.” He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. The others in the circle, the few people you were just talking to and passing the blunt around with have gone silent as they watched the exchange. They all know why you glare at the chipmunk cheeked boy, why you spit venom at him every time you open your mouth. It’s the worst kept secret on campus, how Lee Minho had all but sold out your body as a prank. You don’t like thinking about it but it’s hard not to be reminded when strangers stare at you in pity, or you’re reminded when his friends are around.
“Tell them I say hi,” you say to him, shifting to sit up a little in the beanbag. He takes a step back like he expects you to pounce on him, teeth bared and claws extended. Instead you just smile at him, tight lipped before reaching for the joint that’s passed your way. You turn attention back to your circle of people, clear that your words were meant as dismal. You almost feel bad for the dejected look in Jisung’s face as he walks away.
“Hey.” Mae’s grip on your thigh tightens just slightly, a gesture to grab your attention. She’s looking at you with too inquisitive eyes. “Do you want to go home?” Truthfully, yes, you do; leaving now means that he wins again and you refuse to give that satisfaction. No doubt Jisung has already run back to his group to tell them he saw you. Your suspicions are confirmed when two familiar faces poke around the corner. It reminds you of a cartoon, just the sight of two heads extended past the wall, one on top of the other.
When they spot you, the shorter of the two bolts out from behind the cover of the wall and all but runs to you. Your name is slurred a bit in greeting, his lanky arms wrapping around you before you can protest. You have just enough forethought to pass the joint to Mae before he’s on you.The awkwardness of the beanbag you’ve chosen for the night means he either can crouch to greet you but it wouldn’t be Felix if he did things the normal way. Instead he lays on top of you, face buried into your neck as he hugs you tightly. He might be Minho’s friend but he’s been your sunshine since you met last year.
So you allow his crushing hug. “Nice to see you too, Lix.” You’d hug him back if you could but he’s got your arms in the vice grip he’s calling a hug and they’re trapped at your sides. You resign to your fate, even letting out a soft laugh as he clings to you. You catch a little of what he’s mumbling into your neck, though you do catch how happy he is to see you and that he missed you while you were gone.
The second of the two walks over with his hands shoved into his pockets. You can tell by the way he’s holding back a smile he’s just as happy to see you but his affection is far less physical than Felix. You catch his eyes, giving the best wave you can while still trapped under your sunshine “Hyunjin, hey.” As much as you had wanted to hate them for their association with Minho, it was impossible and you were quick to forgive them for their unfortunate choice in friends. They at least respected you enough not to mention him around you and effectively let you carve out a small part of the dance department that wasn’t tainted by him.
“Ji said he saw you so Felix had to come find you.” Hyunjin offers as a greeting and explanation, reaching down to grab his best friend by the collar of his leather jacket and hoist him off you. “Are you coming back?” He’s never been one to beat around the bush with you, something you respect. “We’ve missed you around the department.”
You feel a warmth in your chest that’s been gone since you left last year. While the leave of absence had given you time to heal, it had also left an emptiness in you that you know was because you were missing such a huge piece of yourself. Dance had always been your safe place, always been your home whenever you needed it. The idea of leaving your apartment had put such a crippling fear into you that you thought you would never be able to return. It had taken months of hard work but you felt okay enough to return, to fall back into the warmth of a dance studio again.
“Mhm,” you offer as confirmation, nodding as well. Their smiles are infectious, eyes crinkling and lifting a dark cloud you hadn’t realized was lingering. In the most dignified way that you could, you stood from the beanbag. “I’ll see you guys later, I need some air.” You looked to Mae who rose with you but gestured at her to stay, you really only intended to slip out the front door for a quick breath of fresh air before coming back.
You part from the circle, patting both Hyunjin and Felix on the arm as you pass, before walking out the front door. It’s a lot more quiet outside on the front lawn. The party wasn’t a rager by any means, more of a too large gathering with slightly loud music and drinks to share. Tame in comparison to some parties you knew would be going on across campus. You had purposely avoided Greek Row, knowing those parties would be exactly that. You hadn’t counted that the people you were also looking to avoid wouldn’t be throwing their own party on the Row.
A handful of people are mingling outside, not one person paying attention to you as you take a seat on the steps. The concrete is chilly underneath you, coupled with the cooler night air and it sends a shiver through your body. The calm out here has done exactly what you wanted, cooled down your temper and brought your beating anxiety to a manageable level. Seeing Jisung had done more than you wanted to openly admit to yourself, knowing that behind the producer lurks the reason for your anxiety. You needed to flee before you caught eyes with the rest of the group.
You’re unsure how long you’ve been sitting out here, you’re only vaguely aware of people coming and going from their own breaks of the party. The cold metal of the railing pressed into your forehead is comfortable, eyes closing a bit as you relax into the iron banister. The music from the house raises in volume and then quiets again, your assumption being that when someone opens the door and closes it again. You assume you haven’t been out here long because Mae has not come to find you but you wonder if that’s wrong too as a jacket settles over your shoulders.
The smell is familiar and warm, woodsy and deep and full of memories that you can’t seem to bring to the surface no matter how hard you try. You know the smell, you can’t figure out why you do, but it brings a sort of comfort nonetheless that has you pulling the jacket tighter around your shoulders and burying your nose into the collar. The music is loud and then muffled once again and you’re left alone outside with your new jacket and your fuzzy thoughts.
Only when your mouth feels a little too dry and your ass has gone numb from sitting on the cold steps, you finally wander back into the party. Mae’s moved from the spot you left her in and you’ve got enough sense to text her to check on her. A quick exchange, making sure she’s okay. Confirmation from your roommate tells you that she’s alright and you don’t need to wait for her if you want to go home. A simple thumbs up emoji on the message and a thanks for the jacket are sent before closing your phone. You don’t see her confused reply, asking what jacket since she didn’t give you anything.
A red cup pulled from the stack and run under the tap for a drink of water is your destination. The slightly earthy taste from the water is a comfort, reminding you of warm weather back home and spending sweltering days in ponds and lakes to cool off.
Your arms slide through the sleeves of the jacket, settling into the warmth of its soft fabric. The sleeves extend just a little past your fingers, you realize. Mae must have grabbed it from her date, you think, raising the cuff to your nose to practically nuzzle into the hem. It’s a soft jacket and you don’t want to give it back and you wonder if you can convince her to let you keep it as a roommate tax for letting her invite a date to what was meant to be a girl’s night out. Not that you can really blame her, you guess. You’ve spent nearly every waking minute together and most nights cuddled in her bed instead of your own. The nights are the worst, that’s when the anxiety and the fears settle in like they’re meant to call your chest home.
Without your roommate to wait on, you don’t see the point in staying at the party much longer. The place is still as lively as it was before but your social battery is nearing zero quickly and the call of your bed is strong. You won’t admit that the sight of that group has ruined your night, the good mood you were clinging to so desperately has gone with it. Your phone is back in your hand, a quick text to the house chat to let them know you’re headed home and don’t worry about being quiet when they all arrive at their own times.
Lucy is the first to reply, sending a simple blue heart emoji. It makes you smile and you’re shoving your phone back into your pocket while using your other hand to pat down for the key to your apartment.
“Giving yourself a feel because no one else will?”
The voice makes your blood boil immediately, smiling slipping from your face as you turn to look at Minho. He leans against the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. Silently cursing your luck, you just roll your eyes and go to walk away but a tug on the hood of your jacket halts your steps. An extremely undignified sound escapes at the yank of the hood and you’re flailing backwards for a second until a hand presses to the middle of your back to halt your fall.
“Falling for me?” He grins at you when you turn to face him.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you snap at him while shoving his hand off you roughly. You should have guessed Minho would show up once Jisung had spotted you, you should have made your escape then and never come back into the house. Now you’re living with the consequence of your decision to stay instead of just running then, all because you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that even the idea of him sends you in the opposite direction.
His hands come up and make a gesture intended to placate the anger thrown his way. “Sorry.” Somehow you doubt his apology given that it’s coupled with that stupid, ugly smirk of his. “Heard you were back.” There’s a slightly awkward pause when you choose not to reply, arms crossing over your chest. A facial expression meant to tell him to go on or shut up settles over your face. “Can’t wait to see your introduction performance this year. Break a leg.” You choose to believe he’s mocking you, in no way do you trust his words to be sincere at all. It’s Lee Minho, he doesn’t know how to be sincere.
Eyes narrow as your stare levels on him, mouth opening to say something nasty in retort. The words die in your throat when a gentle hand clamps over your lips and pulls you backwards by your wrist. You watch as Minho is swallowed by the crowd as you’re dragged out of the kitchen and back into the cool air. Outside smells fresh and you wonder if there might be a storm tonight. Part of you hopes there might be, as a way to wash away everything tonight.
“Go home.” The words are barked at you. Oh right, someone dragged you here. Yanking your arm from their grip, rounding to look at them with the insult that was primed for Minho now ready to be flung toward your captor. His glare makes you stop, shrinking back just a little before remembering you’re not afraid of Christopher Bahng.
“I don’t remember you being in charge of my life.” Shoulders square, taking a step to stand toe to toe with him. Damn, did he get wider? You don’t remember him being quite so filled out. “And the bastard approached me first.” You note how his jaw twitches as he clenches his teeth when you argue with him, when you step closer and won’t back down from him. There’s that stupid voice in the back of your head to swing, that you could take him easily.
“Be the bigger person and go home, Cherry.” His voice is much softer but the look on his face doesn’t change. Your lips purse however at the nickname, sucking on your teeth in annoyance of his casual use of that name. He was the one who came up with it after all, him and Minho had adopted that name for you when you were much younger. A way to tease you for always wanting cherry flavored everything- popsicles to hard candies and everything in between. The name tugs at your heart just a little. Traitorous organ.
“Why do I have to be the bigger person?” Your refusal to back down doesn’t seem to bring a surprise, in fact he seems to have expected it. Once again he grabs you with that large hand, wrapping around your bicep and dragging you away from the house into the street.
“Still live at the same place? I’ll walk you home.”
“I don’t need a fucking escort, Chris.” You shrug his hold off. “Touch me again and I’ll break your hand. Make it hard to perform your live introduction piece with a shattered hand I bet.” There was once a time these threats would never have passed your lips in his direction, never at him. Only ever in his defense, only ever to protect those you cared about. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away. Some bullshit like that.
“I’ll make sure Mae gets home safe but you need to go, okay? Just- please.” He almost seems.. desperate? You two are standing in the dark of the street, the street lights too spaced out to illuminate your faces. You can only assume his tone, unable to see the look on his face. If it was light you would see that his eyes are soft, pleading with you to just once listen to him. To take his warning and to go home.
“Awa’ an bile yer heid,” you mutter as you turn away from him and start walking to the bus in order to get back to your apartment. His concern leaves you lost for words, lost for a better retort so you just drop the first dismal you can come up with.
“Speak fucking English!” Chan shouts after you, laughing a bit. You don’t risk looking back, knowing you’d find him watching you with that smile. That smile and those stupidly adorable dimples of his. You raise a hand, sending him a single finger salute without looking back at him. Now that you’re truly alone out here, it feels colder as you walk to the bus stop. Pulling the jacket tighter around your middle, pulling the sleeves down further to hide your fingers from the chilled wind.
Just as you near the bus stop the first raindrop of the autumn season hits your cheek.
・❥・
The morning is crisp after last night’s storm but the clouds have parted for the time. By the time you’re holding your second cup of coffee that morning, your other roommates have joined you out on the back patio in varying degrees of wakefulness. Lucy grumbles something and pulls the mug from your hands, much to your protest, and curls back in her lawnchair with your stolen mug.
“You came home early last night.” She breaks the settled silence, looking over at you.
“Aye, I was wanting to go to bed so my best friend could steal my coffee in the morning.” You’re attempting to reach for your coffee but she bounds out of the chair far faster than someone half awake should be able to. “Chris basically kicked me out.”
“Wait, kicked you out? I thought you weren’t going to Greek parties?” Elsie turns from where she was smoking and smushes the half smoked cigarette under her boot. “You know, to avoid him and his satanic best friend.”
“We didn’t go to the Row.” Mae comes to defense quickly, poking her head up from your lap, eyes opening for the first time since settling in on top of you. “They were there, not our fault. Jisung saw us first and then ran away to spread the news as quickly as he could.”
“That tiny chipmunk bastard can’t keep a single thing to himself, can he?” Elsie rolls her eyes, dropping into Lucy’s now abandoned chair. “Has to play Minho’s ever loyal bitch- ow.” Lucy’s fist remains on top of Elsie’s head where she’d knocked her knuckles into her sister’s head in warning. “Sorry. Loyal pet- fucking ow.” Elsie reaches up to swat at the other’s hand.
“Basically Minho was being Minho, trying to start something and Chris came to the rescue as always. He dragged me out of the house and told me to go home. Basically ordered me, the fucking bastard.”
“I love when you get angry and your accent is so thick I can barely understand you. Really love the mental workout this morning.” Mae loves to tease the three of you for your accents, according to her they make you almost unable to be understood when speaking English around the house. She often jokes that learning to speak Scots is now her third language.
“Lap privileges revoked.” You shift so her head is no longer in your lap, using the opportunity to stand as well. “I need to head to the studio anyway, finish working on this routine for the introductory performance next week.”
“Lu already packed you lunch. It’s in the fridge and your favorite water bottle is in the freezer to take with you too.” Elsie is quick to inform you with a grin. Lucy beams from where she’s sitting, eyes still closed as she drinks (your) her coffee.
“I’ll come with I need to finish mine,” Mae says between struggling yawns before heading to your shared room to get ready. When you tell her you’ll meet her outside she sends you a thumbs up over her head in acknowledgement.
・❥・
“So whose jacket did you take home last night? I’ve never seen that one.” That same jacket that is thrown over one of the chairs in the corner with your bag. Your head lifts to follow her accusatory finger before dropping back down, the dull thud of your head hitting hardwood sounding a lot louder in the empty studio space than reality.
“I thought you gave it to me last night. When I went out to get air.”
“Nope.” She pops the ‘p’ on the word. “Did you just steal a jacket?”
“Yah! I don’t just steal things. It was given to me, thank you very much.”
A contemplative hum through closed lips but she doesn’t say anything more. You can almost see the cogs turning in her mind and you want to ask what she’s thinking but the subject is changed quickly.
“How are you feeling about the dance?” She watches you in the ceiling to floor mirrors before turning to actually face you. Your head rolls to the side, looking at her now instead of staring up at the ceiling.
“Nervous. Director Yun gave me some really great advice and feedback after looking at my taped final. I don’t know, I’m really outside of my comfort zone here- but that’s the whole point right? I’m not here to perfect what I already know, I want to learn where I’m weak. How else can I be a big time choreographer if all I can do is a pirouette and a chassé.”
“You’re not doing ballet this year?” A new voice chimes into the conversation and you swear your eyes might just roll hard enough to fall out of your head. It would be far more preferable than this conversation. “So the old dog does know more than one trick.”
“We’re the same fucking age, Minho.” You're propped up on your elbows now, eyes narrowed as he stands in the doorway. He’s not alone of course, you note. He’s never alone. You wonder if he’s still holding the fear of being alone, that at the end of everything he’ll just be as lonely as he was before.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“And I’m not going to.” Moving to sit up, you reach for the discarded canvas pirouette slips. “Leave so I can practice.”
“No.” You don’t even need to look at him to know that stupid smirk is there.
“No? The fuck do you mean no?” He ignores your question and walks in, Chan following behind. You watch the both of them with hands on hips before glancing back at Mae. The confusion and fury is written all over your face but the two newcomers are either choosing to ignore it or just don’t see it. You’d bet your life savings that it’s the former.
“You’re not the only person needing to practice for the introduction performance.” As if that is meant to explain why he’s trying to kick you out of the room you’ve been using. His dance bag drops on top of yours. “I’ll help you and then you can leave so I can use the room.”
“I don’t need your help.” You hate how it comes out more like a question. Stomping over, you grab his bag and shove it back at him. “The fuck do you have in there? Bricks? The fuck it’s so heavy for.” You attempt to shove him and his bag out the door but the canvas on your feet means you just end up sliding a little. Real dignified.
“You said you weren’t doing ballet this year for your dance. Seriously, let me help.” Wow, he almost sounds genuine. Which only makes you far more suspicious. Eyes narrow as he watches you, standing in silence that’s too heavy and too tense. The other two in the room don’t say anything, afraid of leaving with bite marks should they get between the two fighting cats.
“Fine,” you snap, dropping his bag and watching with pride as he fumbles it a little as he wasn’t really holding it. You toss a look to Mae that says more than you could voice right now. Surprisingly she’s already grabbed a couple chairs off the stack, presumably with Chan’s help, and sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. A cheerful thumbs up from her settles the butterflies you didn’t notice had taken up residence in your gut.
Minho is at your side in a beat, his stuff placed back on top of yours. A very are-you-for-real? look in his direction that he just gives you a smile, bunny teeth and all. Mae’s been in charge of the music and you give her a look through the mirror to start it again. On the count you step out into your first move and get lost again in the feeling of your body moving to the music. All you see is yourself in the mirror, critical of every single twitch of muscle and wrinkle of skin. You catch Minho’s eyes in the mirror and you can’t look away.
The intensity in his eyes is captivating, watching every small step and maneuver you put your body through. You’ve seen that look on his face before, years ago, when he would watch you practice your ballet routines or when he was helping with taekwondo. It’s somehow comforting to see him tracking your hands, your feet, watching how you throw your body through the air as if you’re made of a feather instead of a human body.
You can’t take your eyes off him watching you. His eyes meet yours in the mirror. All you can see is him. All he can pay attention to is you.
What you two don’t see is Chan and Mae shaking hands over a friendly bet and sharing knowing smiles.
taglist! comment or fill out the form to be added!
@pearbunny, @smhlino, @5stxrstay, @borahae-reads, @bettybeako, @ana-marais98, @katsukis1wife, @kpopsstuffs, @chaotic-world-of-the-j, @pinkskzs, @ylixbok, @eternitywaveshello
#minho x y/n#minho x reader#lee minho x reader#minho x you#lee minho x y/n#lee minho x you#lee know angst#lee know x y/n#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee know x reader#lee know x oc#skz x reader#skz x y/n#skz x you#* karma.
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OKAY, hear me out before reading the text below: this blog of mine is just a place, where I can see my progress in many of things, and writing in english is one of them. the deal is - english is not my native language, and my way of writing can look very bad.
if you decide to read my little sketch, firstly - good luck; and secondly, if when you see some dumb mistakes - feel free to comment because learning stuff is fun!
(also I'm like probably need to do a disclaimer or something like this, but I don't know how :D)
well, it's just fluff (?), without any triggers and just something that was in my head for a while. also I'm using the real names on the dream team in this text. actually, all my thoughts slowly became a whole au (this is the right word for it, right?), so if I will be really confident, maybe I write something else....
UGH this is again a super long text, I'M SORRY.
imagine that you've been friends with «dream team» for an almost a three years.
originally you were an employee on a mr. beast team, something that others would call an errand boy (well, errand girl in your case). but despite your small position in a whole team, everyone was simply in love with you. you just were a little shining star, that everybody adored. and beside that, you knew how to do your job. and by one of these hard-working days, you've meet sapnap.
there were a small pause between shooting for a new challenge video, where nick was one of the judges, and it happend that you both had a chance to chat for a little bit. you two find in each other someone nice, almost like a soulmate. when you too start to speak about different topics, including hobbies and favorite things, something just clicked. after a shooting, y'all just spontaneously decided to go for a walk. you both just can't stop talking, and after a hour or so, you find yourself on a basketball court. the day slowly becoming an evening, there only a few people around, and you two with beer cans just lazily playing basketball.
and after that day your life just start change entirely.
after sapnap you've met sunshine with name karl, and then dream, george, even quackity. the boys was also amazed with your warm personality and you all pretty fast become great buddies. you start to show in theirs instagram photos, twitter posts, stories. you've slowly become an important member of their group. staying for a movie night, cook for them, give a ride on your car, making birthday presents, spending time in video games, and eventually joining the streams.
to be honest, chat was kinda aggressive by the first time and full of comments like "omg why are they even let this girl to join, she's just ruining all the fun" and bunch of other not-so-nice words. guys were super sorry that you have to deal with all this hate, but you honestly won't making a big deal out of that. you just continue to show up from time to time, and slowly but surely people realize that your "boring" side was actually a "super caring" side.
and only after this realization everybody understand how cool actually your character resonates with sometimes childish characters of the rest of the group. the memes start to full the internet, boys start jokingly addresses to you like "sweet mother of ours", and you were very audible and visible cringing at the name, but they're just unstoppable.
and after a two and a half years of your friendship, after george finally gets a visa and clay does a face reveal, four of you guys finally moved together.
and that simply become a golden era of your friendship.
you spend mornings with george, when you get ready for work and this man with no sleep schedule gives you company. at the moment that you start making a breakfast, this man just magically appears with his cute puppy eyes, and after the few times when your plate was getting empty for about a fifteen seconds, you just start to cook for you two. imagine: dark room with only one working lamp, you both eating some puffy pancakes, drinking something warm, chatting and silently giggling. it's a little foggy outside, and almost absolute silence. sounds really comforting, does it not? after you finished eating, you give george a small kiss on his head, maybe mess up with his hair and beg him to get some rest.
the days fly by really fast, when you making stuff with dream. join the stream for a moment? sure. what about the new idea for the video/song? tell me everything. maybe you want to go to the shopping together? get in my car, clay. you freely can go to his room when silence in your head gets too loud. often you just knock on his room door shyly, and ask if you can sit on the bed while dealing with work. and he never refuse. also you absolutely love to draw him in the moments when he really focused on something, maybe make him a few more knitted hats or something cute, but stupid. and he absolutely melts at every single touch. you just need to tell him that everything is okay, and he always can find a support in his friends. and he's so thankful for this.
and finally, you want the evenings to never end because you spend them with sapnap. he don't want to show it, but you just see it anyways - he cares about you. of course, that doesn't mean that other guys don't care, but sapnap do it in his own way and you really appreciate it. almost every evening he casually walks into your room, and if he sees how tired you look because of the work, all his appearance softens immediately. with his silent, raspy voice he asks how do you feel. and if your answer not satisfying enough, nick just casually says that he's going to wait you in the car. and that means - this evening going to be awesome. you both have no clue what are you going to do tonight, but that's just more fun, right? basketball court, just like in the old times? eating junk food in the car, while chatting and shouting the songs? skateboarding park, when nick trying to impress you, but just stupidly falls and now you need to bandage all his wounds, while you just can't stop from laughing? (he's trying to act offended, but inside he's all fluff, believe me).
but sometimes you decide to hang out in the house. sapnap picks up some random film, brings more pillows and blankets, you cook (or order) snaks, and you both just simply chilling together after a long day. and I don't need to tell that almost every time the rest of the group decide to join. maybe it's even spontaneously become a movie night? who knows. you can't even blink, and it's 3am already, the third movie silently playing on the back, all the boys sleeping and barely audibly snore. and only you stubbornly want to wait until the credits. and the movie finally ends, you trying to clean up a little, while you judge the main character in your mind. when you come back to the sleeping kingdom, you can't help but smile at the view of three big men just calmly sleeping, and unconsciously trying to hug something. you definitely take a few photos, and when you want to go to your room, suddenly dream wakes up and mid-sleep reach up to you, whispering that he want to cuddle. your heart was not ready for this, and you just can't say "no" to him.
and when you slowly falling into sleep, while warm big hands carefully hugs you, you just think to yourself - oh, how extremely lucky you are.
well, maybe you can skip the next day at work.
...you can't miss how nick and george all morning going to scream that they're absolutely-for a hundred percent-for sure-definitely didn't hug each other all night.
#dsmp au#dsmp#dsmp shipping#georgenotfound#dreamwastaken#sapnap#dsmp fanart#dtqk#dtqk x reader#dsmp x reader#dsmp x y/n#dsmp x you#dream x reader#dream team x reader#dreamwastaken x reader#georgenotfound x reader#gogy#georgenotfound x y/n#sapnap x reader#sapnap x you#sapnap x y/n
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Hello sorry for tagging. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging
Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.
Would you look at that… I have a prime example of how to spot a scam in my asks. It's not very well done, just well enough that some people might fall for it - and some have even reblogged it. You've been redirected to the Fraud Detection Unit, which will take it from here. (actually it's still just me, I'm the fraud detection unit, we have "Fachkräftemangel" in Germany, sorry, jk)
Seriously though… First of all, I'd like to address the fact that it's incredibly sad to play with people's emotions like this. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I'm sure you're not. It's the same with scams asking for help and donations for people and families in Gaza, which has come up a lot recently and is even more despicable because there are actual fundraisers going on (which are official) and these people are in a terrible situation. So to exploit that worldwide sympathy or solidarity and use the inhumane circumstances of these or other people for your scams is disgusting to the core.
But back to this particular ask and blog… The text itself makes no sense. Like, not at all. For example, a " freezing nose" is not a typical symptom of asthma. I've never had asthma, but I'm pretty sure your nose doesn't freeze up when you have asthma. What are you trying to tell me? That you got asthma in the middle of a blizzard? Sorry, I can't help you with that. "Get out of the blizzard!" is all I can tell you. And what is the "maximum level" of asthma? Is that some kind of asthma end boss? Sounds more like you need an ambulance, not money...
That's why it's important to be fluent in English if you want to pretend to be a native speaker. I can't help you there either. I can barely speak my own language, let alone English.
Some other things everyone should notice or look for when getting messages like this:
blog was created fairly recently, no consistency, just reblogged some random things (like posts from 'tumblr staff' lol - no offense) to have something on it at all + obviously otherwise empty blogs that are just begging for money or reblogging other similar posts all the time are even more suspicious
something I haven't seen before either is "Black Lives Matter" being used as bait to appeal to those involved in the movement
randomly generated usernames (what is "toosaladgarden"? I've never had a salad that was too garden, so I don't know - not too important, but in this case it doesn't help to be convincing)
no bio, no age, no country (usually not important, but in this case it is)
non-transparent fundraiser, no one knows why this exact amount of money is needed (I think it even went from $1700 to $1900 since yesterday if I saw that correctly lol) and how the supposed current donations came about (you could put any number in there)
randomly contacted
scammers often use tactics such as emotional manipulation and urgency to evoke sympathy and to prompt a quick response
lack of details, very vague in general, limited information about specific circumstances
But that made me curious and I wanted to know more. You (the scammers) were "smart" enough to use a profile picture that can't be easily traced back to the original source, I'll give you that. But that's a problem for you, because it seems to be the only picture you have of this person with this child, so you had to use it everywhere…
And that's why I was able to trace your picture back to a Twitter / X account that goes by the name "Aska" and the handle askafarao… which also engages in very, very obviously fraudulent requests for money. Every few days or weeks since August 2023, this "X" account posts nothing but new "reasons" why the money is needed. And it's quite funny how little effort they put into it, because the reasons are not creative and half of them don't even add up. But most importantly, somehow there are a couple of different email addresses for different paypal accounts with different names on them. I think we can all agree that unless you're trying to hide something, you don't need more than one name… right? Unless Paypal is going to close your accounts all the time, or you're afraid they will because they're detecting fraudulent activity, you don't need more than one account, right?
TL:DR Let's make this part short and sweet: If you get a message like this, or see a similar post, be aware that it's a scam. Don't reblog it and don't be like, "But what if it's true…" It's obviously not, and when I saw the X account, I actually had a good laugh because this account is a complete mess, even for a scammer.
#scammers#scam alert#scam warning#donation scam#scam bots#scam#fundraising#fundraiser#don't fall for it#don't reblog their posts#think about it#ask
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Finally got the go-ahead to post about this… so, with the growing visibility of hybrids in the public eye, I was offered the opportunity to interview with RIME Magazine! (Capitalizing the name properly was part of the deal.)
I’ll be pasting the text of the article below for anyone without a subscription (to be fair, it’s also posted online, and I have permission), but before that… I also got a cover photoshoot! I wound up touching up my ears with my illusions… and some of the burn scars… but I’m quite happy with how it turned out, still. Wolfy couldn’t make it, so I took the photo with Chiru that day! Anyways, hope you enjoy. :)
(//Art is a commission by @/RhymeWithRay here or mostly on Twitter! They make amazing Pokémon-style work, worth a look for sure!!!)
But without further ado, the interview!
RIME Magazine sat down for an interview with Vanilla Cress, a Hisuian Zorua hybrid, human and Pokémon psychologist, Champion-class trainer in Paldea, Galar Champion Cup semifinalist, and hybrid model and activist, in early February. Topics discussed varied widely, from Cress's own experience growing up as a human-Pokémon hybrid, understanding Pokémon, Cress's recent modeling and activism, and future plans. What follows is a condensed and edited transcript of the interview.
That's quite the list of accolades you've accumulated along the way. What do you think has led you to achieve so highly?
Well, for one, I think you're giving a lot of this more credit than it's worth, [laughs]. I'm not sure being pulled off of the street because I look like a walking ice-cream cone is much of an accomplishment, personally. Nor do I do much activism apart from this interview now, apparently.
I think I understand the answer you're going for here, though. I would say that my hybridity's a large part of what brought me as far as I've come. Not only in having the gift to talk to our partners in life--which is an incredible gift--but in that there's this drive to prove myself. Or maybe to redeem myself. I'm not really sure which, personally. Doing things has just filled all of the gaps in my life, until now.
Right, and you only publicly "came out" as a hybrid less than a year ago.
Yes, less than a year ago! It's been a huge adjustment, but I have so much more energy these days, not having to worry about being discovered by hitting something with my tail, [laughs].
While my experience hasn't been entirely positive after "coming out" myself, and I realize that even being able to hide is a privilege many hybrids simply don't have, I will say that generally speaking, the public response has been overwhelmingly positive. Say, for every enemy I've made, I've made ten more friends in their place. And from so many different walks of life, too!
You say your experience wasn't entirely positive. Could you elaborate some on your negative experiences as a hybrid?
Well, if I have to. Which I suppose I don't, but it seems rude not to. There are, of course, people out there who view you as subhuman, when you look like me. Or in maybe a less extreme sense, people who have a tendency to see all of the fluff and decide "Oh, this person--I should talk to this person like they're a child." But those are really quite few and far between, at least in my case. I'm more likely to scare people, with the teeth and the claws. [They make a pose showing both off.]
My main negative experience, though, was something more personal and targeted.
Yes, there was the news earlier last year about the Dreamyard Laboratory...
"Earlier last year" doesn't feel right, somehow. I won't go much into detail, but yes, I was taken against my will for the purpose of illegal research on human-Pokémon hybrid power, by Colress Achroma. It was only due to the efforts of my dear friends that I'm here now. I cannot express my gratitude to them enough, if any of you are reading!
Thank you for sharing. To turn back the clock a bit, what was your childhood like, being half-Zorua?
Well, for most of that time, it was like paradise! When I was a young child, we were quite isolated, so I never got the sense that my life was "off" or "strange". I thought for the longest time it was normal to have a family like mine. My older sibling, Wolfgang, a Zorua then--we were just "W" and "V" at the time--he and I would just run wild and play in Lostlorn Forest for hours while the rest of the pack hunted. And then they'd come back, and they'd start in on whatever they'd caught, and my mother would swoop back in to make me something completely different. And teach me the alphabet. [Laughs]
Was there a time, when that facade cracked?
Oh, there was this time, right when I had gotten used to using my illusions, that my mother brought me to the grocery store with her. And that's when I learned a lot of facts about the world very quickly. And then I had to learn those facts all over again, a few years later, when I rejoined the human world with my adopted family. Everything had to be hidden after that, or else. It was dangerous, not knowing what sort of person you'd meet, or who'd want to hurt you just for existing.
You say you were also adopted?
Right. There was... a forest fire, at one point. Intentional. And I lost everyone dear to me but Wolfgang. And I became the sort of Zorua you see here now [a Hisuian Zorua]. And after a few years of... homelessness and what not, I was taken in by the Cresses. It was a chance encounter. And it was a major culture shock! Going from streets to high society parties. It was thanks to them, though, that I managed to find something to do with my life and graduated from Naranja-Uva.
And in between that, the Galar gym challenge...
[Laughs] I'm sure you have a clip of that somewhere. I'd rather not talk about it, that was... a strange period of teenagerhood for me.
How do you feel about your childhood, on reflection?
That's tough. That's something I believe I'm still working out, myself. It was positive moment-to-moment, but considering what I know, now, I would say... to some degree, I resent it. It's hard not to resent being born in a position where it feels like, for so long, nobody understands you. I wouldn't trade Wolfgang for anyone else, but otherwise, I do wish, sometimes, I was "just" a human.
I can imagine. At the same time, talking to Pokémon is quite the advantage, right? What is it like?
Depends on the Pokémon! Some of us are more talkative than others, and of course, there's a range in how sophisticated Pokémon communication is too.
The difference is something like... imagine two Pokémon asking for pizza. In my experience, a Solosis would usually just beam the word "PIZZA" right into your mind. A Sewaddle might be coherent enough to say "Pizza, please". And a Zoroark... probably something along the lines of "give me the damn pizza already," [laughs].
So sometimes you can get a lot across by understanding Pokémon, but that doesn't mean they're all speaking in the same way as humans still. Understanding those individual differences goes a long way in my line of work, too. It's a bit easier than reading behavior, anyways!
As a Pokémon psychologist, what's one thing you think more people should understand about their Pokémon?
More than anything... it sounds cliche, but most Pokémon truly view humans as their partners, just as we do them. As much scientific proof as has gone into the question of proving that Pokémon love us as much as we love them, in my experience... that's absolutely true.
At the same time, even as partners, Pokémon think quite differently from humans in their daily life. I think in order to create the most balanced world possible, where both can coexist, it's key to consider the Pokémon's perspective more too.
What's one thing you'd like to impart about hybrids to people who don't know much about them?
Every hybrid's experience is different, firstly! Some, like me, are born, but others are created through science or magic we still don't know about. Some may look almost identical to humans, and some may have appearances considered frightening or unusual. Some of us have long-standing health problems. Some of us can use moves, or speak in Pokémon language, or access abilities, whereas others may be more limited. There's no one experience that I can really label as "the hybrid experience".
There are people who might think we're dangerous. Or inhuman. But whether you consider us 'human' or not... like any living being, we still deserve respect and a voice. Maybe that's obvious, but I think it still rings true.
Finally, what are your plans from here?
I'm hoping to finish my Unova League challenge together with my traveling partner! I certainly don't intend to become the Champion, but if I can say I challenged every member of the Elite 4, I'd be happy.
From there... well, there are a few things I'd like to resolve otherwise, but I think I'll return to my day job as a therapist, and hopefully, my own personal sword training. I'd also like to spend more time with my friends, my traveling partner, and my family in Lostlorn! My brother, Wolfgang has four incredible kits, and they're the absolute most adorable--
I'm afraid we're out of time for today, Mx. Vanilla.
Ah, yes. Thank you for having me!
#pokeblogging#pkmn irl#//not my art#//again give @rhymewithray a look their art is incredible :)#//might link this into vanilla's profile as a “quick look at them” too ^^
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𝐢𝐢. daredevil headcanons!
a giant list of comic, live action, etc. daredevil headcanons i've been growing in a twitter thread since late august. > part 𝐢. | masterlist
COMIC/LIVE ACTION AMBIGUOUS
matt's the kind of person that speaks through their yawns; like he’d be mid-sentence and yawn, he doesn't wait for it to be over till he starts talking again.
matt has auditory hallucinations of his dad's voice when he's sleep deprived and his dad's is the only face he dreams about.
matt texts with full punctuation proper caps and everything, foggy texts with full punctuation but uses a lot of shortenings and emojis, karen doesn't have auto capitalization on but uses full punctuations and cute emojis; she’s a white heart user.
matt soothes a hand over his beard (or chin if he’s going clean shaven) when he's thinking (the way charlie cox does in interviews).
foggy played the acoustic guitar in college (to get girls of course).
foggy has one those dad phone cases with the flap that goes over the screen. matt would've gotten one but it's annoying to handle as a blind person.
matt talks in his sleep; sometimes it's cases he's working on, sometimes it's random phrases like, “gotta keep you safe”, “he's behind there” and other times it's just stupid stuff related to whatever dream he’s having.
every time matt's ‘dead’ or missing, foggy quotes thurgood marshall to himself whenever he misses him, is in a situation where he would usually ask matt for advice or just needs a little support.
matt picks up a lot of foggy's speech patterns and doesn't even notice it (autism).
even though matt wears his glasses a lot, if you've known him long enough you can tell he'd been crying because his nose goes temporarily red for a day after he has a really good cry.
foggy has an extensive dad joke notebook. matt actually learned to read ink with his fingers by stealing jokes from the book.
matt used to hang out with an older stray cat when he was younger, before he was blinded and after he was blinded, for every cat he met, he pictured them as that childhood cat.
matt takes whatever foggy hands him almost on instinct and it’s lead to some really funny scenarios like matt holding all of foggy's belonging in his arms in the middle of a colombia courtyard because foggy can't find something in his bag. he also gets this ultra serious look on his face whenever he takes the items like foggy's trusting him with the world.
COMIC
matt's definitely the type of guy to stand in the living room listening to news on the television for 40 mins — dad style.
matt, foggy and kirsten listen to abba; they’re huge fans.
matt is a certified dark chocolate guy, karen is a milk chocolate gal, foggy will have any kind.
you tell mike and matt apart by which one has smile lines around his eyes.
the reason matt keeps changing the shape of his glasses is because he keeps losing them. whether it be around the city or just random shenanigans of putting it down and forgetting about it.
mike says, “matt jumpscare” whenever matt enters a room he's in.
before stick found matt, mike taught him how to do spinning tricks with his cane. after stick found him, matt became super good at it and taught mike some new tricks. mike noticed the sudden uptake in skill but didn't comment on it cause matt was already good at everything plus at least he was learning cool new stuff out of it.
matt hates lollipops; it's just sucking on your own saliva to him and he doesn't want to be tasting himself (in this context).
both matt and mike have really distinct laughs; matt's is very sudden, enunciated and his head gets thrown back while mike's is like a snort-giggle before he full of laughs and he bites his lip on a smile at the end of it.
sam's workplace once handed out father's day mugs but he doesn't... y’know so he passed it onto matt. matt didn't know it said ‘happy father's day! best dad ever!’ until mike used it. matt had gotten upset because it's his favourite mug and mike was like, “matt, what the fuck, why's your favourite mug the father's day mug?” and matt goes, “the what mug?”
definitely unrelated but after that, matt started buying things for sam which sam thought was really random but it was usually just items matt came across in stores that reminded him of sam.
both matt and mike mimic/mock people with a whiny voice to make fun of them. foggy hates it ‘cause they do it to him (affectionately) the most.
matt uses mike and (or) foggy as sensory anchors.
mike used to be so annoyed at having to 'drag his brother around' after matt was blinded but soon, he got used to it and was really jealous when matt started gravitating towards foggy and trusting foggy to lead him.
matt dreams about mike sometimes which can get really funny because even as adults, mike still has the same 9 year old face in his dreams.
mike got pretty good as acting for matt early on because they'd switch places a lot; it only got more complicated when matt was blinded and suddenly they had to worry about a lot of things only matt could or would need to do. in soule's run mike (spawns) begins existing with an identical pair of matt's glasses — i like to think it's a product of that. matt buys two lots of pairs of the same glasses for a multitude of reasons but one of them's always set apart for mike, not just only in case he needs to act as him but also because they actually take a weird sort of pride in being twins.
LIVE ACTION
matt and foggy would go to ihop in their pjs after doing unintentional all nighters in college.
foggy’s tackled matt into a hug while he had an injury multiple times before and it hurt but matt dare not say it did ‘cause foggy’ll feel bad then order him to stay home.
matt has a slight lisp.
matt and karen like dark chocolate, foggy likes milk and dark (in that order) but will eat whatever's there.
foggy used to say 'dude' a lot when he was younger; brett and matt still make fun of him for it.
karen goes as rapunzel for halloween every year.
matt obviously didn't know they were getting the nelson and murdock sign in 1.09 so: foggy and karen would whisper in foggy's office about ordering it and where to hide it once it gets here etc., matt knew of course he just couldn't let them know he knew because it would ruin the surprise for them.
emergency ice packs (& other medical supplies, lollipops included) in the office.
foggy mimic/mocks people with a whiny voice to make fun of them.
buying silk sheets was one of those 'when i get my first paycheck!' type promises for matt until he met stick who drilled it into his head that he didn't need nor deserve that kind of comfort and he went for a futon (canon). after elektra, when he started forcibly growing older because of the trauma their relationship left behind and the corrupted closure of his father's death he started dreaming like that again and did indeed buy silk sheets with his first paycheck from landman and zack; granted, it was most of his paycheck.
#can you tell ive been hyperfixed on mike for like a month LOL#anyway time to start a new thread#daredevil#daredevil comics#marvel's daredevil#netflix daredevil#matt murdock#foggy nelson#karen page#kirsten mcduffie#blindspot#sam chung#mike murdock#mattfoggy#nelson and murdock#murdocks#stick my head down the canon
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Wait, um...crack theory that's starting to feel less and less crack by the second? (Or maybe I'm just convincing myself.)
What if this ["this" being the note, the corpse, the message in blood] was all done by Cellbit's minime?
This actually plays into something I was thinking about the other day, which is that the Federation knows exactly what they're doing. And...you know, I hesitate to say this. Because while it may have been an incredibly confusing day, it still felt like a win, and I don't want to take that away.
But the more and more I think about it, the more sense it makes for the Federation to have...at least planned for the A0 project to get stolen, if not pointed the islanders towards it.
I was backwatching Cellbit's October 15th vod and I finally got to the conversation between him and the guard—who I still really think is Antoine, and that does play into this, but I think it works without too so *shrug*—but I just...
The guard asked him what he knew about Project A0, so Cellbit responded, "I know that you're striving to achieve perfection—you've been analyzing everything on the island, you've been taking information, you've been giving tasks to make people busy and analyze their behavior...and creat[ing] something using a bunch of water and energy." (The guard's response was "it's a bit vague, but yes—you're on the right path.")
From Baghera, we know The Federation was doing DNA testing. Which is yet another way of analyzing people (and, in this case, hybrids and(?) animals). So, clearly, they've been planning for this for a while. Plus, they've been giving the islanders these tasks to, as Cellbit pointed out, evaluate and analyze their behavior.
But why would they be analyzing the behavior of the islanders? Is it strictly because the island is an ExperimentTM and they're the only humans the Feds have access to? (Implying that the workers aren't, in fact, humans, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.) Or is it something else?
Do we really know what this player data truly is, or how it manifests lore-wise? Because we know about those three (four?) books Fit found at that outpost, but who's to say that's all of it? It certainly wasn't everyone on the island—just some of the new players. Is it possible that data could manifests as memories; somewhat similar to what Fit and/or Pierre have done? (I know Pierre's has robotic connotations to it, but you can see what I'm getting at.)
Cellbit brought up a good point earlier at the A0 event: what are these things made of? Because, like, meta-wise, they're a custom mob that can be easily reskinned, just like a player model. No big deal. But canon-wise? What the hell can take the shape of various people without prior programming/precursory knowledge?
Additionally: the way Antoine and Cucuthree talked at the end of his stream earlier today makes me think about the fact that these minimes are clearly called a "failed Federation experiment" by multiple people in multiple places—the one that comes to mind is the Twitter post for the event. The Duck even mentioned in the second cutscene: "Luckily, they're harmless, so you have nothing to worry about!" Luckily implies that at one time...they weren't so harmless.
Plus, Cellbit hasn't exactly been...the nicest to his minime, which was also a warning given out by the Duck—and he gave it a knife. Didn't Bagi say it looked like a stab wound?
Before I stretch this way too far, the point is: There's too much in that note that no one except for Cellbit knows. Which means there are only a couple of options here. Either:
1) It's Cell, somehow. [Whether a sleepwalking/off-camera situation or what.] Not really too keen on this option. Makes my stomach all tense and churny. (/lh)
2) The Federation has records of his memories, somehow. [There have been plenty of opportunities for them to get these—for example, we still don't know what happened to Cellbit when he got kidnapped. And we know that they were experimenting with Project A0 around this time, likely having done something with Felps.]
2.5) The Federation has records of his memories, and has put it together with their other knowledge and technology to create these...clones. [Remember how people were speculating they might have to fight armies of themselves? Maybe that wasn't so far off. And, well. You're telling me a clone of Cellbit wouldn't try to fight psychologically?]
Anyway, I put way too much time into this, so um. Yeah. I, uh...I really hope I'm wrong.
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Hey! How are you? Would like to say that I LOVE your blog, and I was wondering if you would like to update your top 5 H&M moments, maybe add another 5??
Folks, if you've ever wondered what is the oldest message sitting in my inbox, it's this one. (Well, I'm pretty sure there are a couple others that are a touch older but every time I try to scroll back that far, my inbox just glitches. There are . . . a lot of messages sitting in there. Sorry about that 😬). So I just want to say thank you to this anon and everyone else who has sent me tens of messages over the years asking for this updated post (unless the messages were all from the same one person all this time, in which case, my god I'd feel even GUILTIER).
It's been two years since the original, but an even wilder FIVE years since Harry and Meghan wed in one of the most consequential events in modern cultural history. What a wonderful, special day to look back on their relationship, with even more of my favorite moments between these two unlikely lovers. While writing this post, I laughed, I swooned, I cried. And I, uh, REALLY went off the rails at the end. Content warning for just the sickest, sappiest philosophizing you've ever seen. I'd apologize, but I just can't help it. Harry and Meg just have that effect on me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So, with one more thank you to everyone who has been so patient and kind and loving to me these past few years, let's get into it! Five(-ish, lol) more of my favorite Harry and Meghan moments:
5. WE will not look a mess
I'd be remiss not to start this list of my personal favorite H&M moments with what is, judging by the numbers, arguably the entire WORLD'S favorite H&M moment. This iconic video by twitter user @/ddarveyy is perhaps the Sussex Squad's most viral fan tweet of all time? And if qualitative evidence is more convincing to you than quantitative, this video has been blessed with the mark of being liked by none other than Madame Rhianna herself. That's certified social media Diamond. The tweet also spawned some great jokes, ranging from Virgo Harry always making sure to keep his wife looking on point, to some people speculating about certain other, ah, intimate contexts where H might have developed this habit of putting his hands in her hair.
Ahem, either way, I've always seen this touching practice of his as being in the same vein of all those times he watches out for her footing on stairs or treacherous terrain. He's always on standby, always keeping an eye on her, never 100% focused on something else when she's near. You know, just in case she needs help. Or (more likely) just in case he has an excuse to fuss over her 😏 And you know what? Harry strikes me as the kind of man who has waited a long time to have someone to fuss over, someone to worry about and take care of outside of himself. And now that he has that someone . . . well, Captain Wales reporting for motherfucking duty 🫡
BONUS MAINTENANCE FASCINATION:
Yes we're doing bonus content again -- I did say "five(-ish)" moments! The "ish" was forewarned!!!
Anyways, while we're on the topic of sentimentally rhapsodizing about Harry keeping an eye on Meg and her hair, I want to sneak in a reboot of a discussion I had with an anon a few months ago after the Netflix documentary came out. These quiet, behind-the-scenes moments where Meg is getting her dress fitted or painting her nails, and there is Harry happily watching from behind. It's a small thing, I know, but it speaks volumes to me. The intimacy that comes with watching your partner prepare herself to face the world, the peaceful trust and unspoken support. And if you think THAT is me reading too much into it, scroll back to that original discussion and watch me make myself cry over picturing Harry as a kid watching his mom go through her similar glam routine. Y'all don't even KNOW the kinds of crazy parasocial assumptions I can lose my mind over!!!!!
And while we're here barely on topic talking about the intimacy of behind-the-scenes, let's move now from the "before" preparation, to the "after" unwinding (and undressing??). One of the most bittersweet moments from the doc for me was this picture, taken after one of Harry and Meg's final royal duty events. Away from the cameras, and the press, and the people, alone in their kitchen at last. I can think of no better representation of "Leaving the world behind."
4. Meghan "My Husband" Markle
There has been much discussion over Harry being the ultimate "wife guy," and deservedly so. If I tried to put in this post every moment the man has practically glowed with the pleasure of saying "my WIFE," I'm afraid this website would crash from server overload. But a less-discussed, yet equally sweet through line is Meghan being the ultimate "husband girl." And I think no single moment is a better demonstration of this phenomenon than her opening speech last year at Invictus 2022.
Introducing her husband to the crowd of his Invictus family, Meghan said, "I could not love and respect him more, and I know that all of you feel the same. He is your fellow veteran, he's the founder of the Invictus Games, and the father to our two little ones, Archie and Lili. Please welcome my incredible husband, Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex." And then the crowd roared, and Harry and Meghan kissed, and we got all these ooey-gooey heart eyes.
And then as Harry took the stage, overwhelmed by the love of his wife and his community, he choked up.
"Thank you my love."
And I was never the same :')
BONUS "HUSBAND GIRL" SIMPING:
At the 2021 Salute to Freedom Gala, a reporter asking, "Meghan are you proud of your husband?" And Meghan bashfully turning back to answer, "I'm always proud of him." 🫠
And one even blushier, from the African tour documentary. Somebody come pick our girl up off the FLOOR!!!!
3. BAY. BEES.
Ok so I am REALLY gonna have to restrain myself for this section, cause if I put every single heart-bursting baby moment (especially after the FEAST we were delivered through the Netflix doc), I would never be able to finish this post. So I'm just gonna highlight a select few and keep my baby fever in check (and then mayhaps rewatch the entire documentary tonight lol whoops).
Our first real baby moment ever was Harry being so delirious with joy and nerves and just like, raw energy, after the birth of his first child (and then turning around after the big birthday media announcement to thank the horses in the stable behind him 😅).
A few days later, there was a particularly famous photo of Baby King Archie meeting some regal relatives or whatever, but in THIS photo, the two irrelevant old geezers are instead replaced by the new little prince's noble steeds, Guy and Pula. An iconic family photo. Outsold the original, if you ask me 😌
The news of their pregnancy with Lili was world-stopping for many reasons, but most famously it held a powerfully touching connection with the past. Apparently accidentally, Harry and Meghan announced they were expecting their second child exactly 37 years to the day after his mother, Diana, announced she was expecting him. Two extra-special Valentine's Days to remember.
And once again, as I said at the time, I am NOT someone who is particularly occupied with imagining the spirits of the departed watching over us, nor am I crazy about inserting the memory of Diana into discussions in which she has no agency. HOWEVER . . . who could stop the wave of emotions looking at this moment, as the grandbaby she never got to meet reaches out to her photo, through glass and time, trying to hold her hand. Bruv . . . 🥲 Even a motherfucking atheist can occasionally feel God in this Chili's tonight.
I don't even have anything to say about these next two, except to wonder with awe at the universal panacea that is baby snuggles. My absolute favorites:
And lastly, to wrap up this unbearably melty baby section, I have a moment that isn't really about the babies at all. In this video you can watch here, Easter 2021, we have Mama Doria, Meg (bursting at the seams with soon-to-be Lili), the little king himself, Sir Archie, his ever-loyal canine companions, and Harry -- who stands there, on the other side of surviving so, so much, and says almost under his breath, "Come on, family, let's go." And . . . yeah. That pretty much says it all 🥹
2. My Sussex Squad Origin Story
I'm going to keep this one short, cause I know what #1 is about to be and it's a doozy. But I wanted to briefly mention a moment in Harry and Meghan lore that will forever be the most special to me, because it is the one that sucked me into this here community I still haunt to this day.
October 2018. I have just recently managed to recover my old Tumblr password and logged into this site for the first time since middle school. I am scrolling the trending pages and see "Meghan Markle" listed among the top current tags. It says she's recently announced her first pregnancy. "Huh," I think. "I kinda remember hearing she got married." I've never willingly read or watched a single solitary piece of information about the royal family ever in my life. I don't even really know who's who, outside of the members immediately surrounding Diana. But I scroll through the Meghan tag, and I see she and her new prince are on tour. I see a photo. I read the headline attached.
Is that an actual tear spilling out from the corner of my eye? I stare at the tag for a few minutes more. What is wrong with me? Maybe I'll check this page again tomorrow, just to see what else they get up to on this tour. Couldn't hurt to learn a little bit more about this couple that literally stopped me in my tracks. I wipe the back of my hand across my burning eyes. "Well," I think as I try to bring myself back to what I was doing before. "That was weird."
Ha. Little did I freaking know :')
1. A Modern Fairy Tale
And now, to end this long-winded (and -awaited, sorry again >_<) journey, if you will allow me to get a little unbearably sappy.
When I set out to write this Part 2 post in 2023, I was doubtful. Could I even muster up that same enthusiasm, that same untrampled hope with which I beamed when I wrote the original? Harry, Meghan, the world, and I have all lived a thousand lives in these brief five years. There has been so, so, so much unspeakable pain. More than anyone has a right to suffer in a lifetime, let alone half a decade. "And for what?" I've sometimes asked myself. "What is the point in trying to love when there's all this pain that follows?"
This June, we will be coming up on the 10 year anniversary of my absolute favorite Internet meme of all time: Tim Kreider's legendary New York Times Op-Ed "I Know What You Think Of Me," which gifted human history with his startlingly sincere declaration, "If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known."
Well, there is perhaps no one on the planet who has submitted herself to a more painful ordeal of being known than Meghan. She has bared to the world her vulnerabilities, her quirks, her flaws, her losses, her pains. To think of the life she has lived thus far, and the life that she walked away from to be here . . . I can't pretend that I've always been certain of the righteousness of her choice. But as I was working through writing this post, I reached a point in my research where I landed back on the speech Meghan delivered on the night of her wedding, shared in their Netflix documentary. And she told, as she called it, "a modern fairy tale."
“Once upon a time, there was a girl from LA (some people called her an actress) and there was a guy from London (some people called him a prince). All those people didn’t fully get it. Because this is a love story of a boy and a girl who were meant to be together.
“Amidst whatever momentary worries that creep in, they look at each other and think, ‘Whatever world, we’re in.’
“They would love, and garden, and travel, and laugh, and rack up more air miles than any couple could have.
“And when the tides were rough, they squeezed each other tighter. ‘Nothing can break us,’ they’d say, ‘For this love, she was a fighter.’
“I appreciate, respect, and honor you, my treasure, for the family we will create . . .
“ . . . And our love story that will last forever.
“So I ask you to raise a glass to the astounding assurance that now life begins, and the everlasting knowing that, above all, love wins.”
And so, here I am once again, with real actual tears streaming down my face, listening to a woman who has crossed so many oceans and lost so much of herself to get to where she's sitting today, and yet still, STILL, speaks with the same determination and conviction in love that she had all the way back at the beginning. They have taken so much from that woman, but they have not taken this. And so if Meghan, of all people, can still believe that love is worth it all . . . well, then, how could I possibly disagree?
Happy 5th anniversary to the lovebirds, and my heartfelt wish to you all that you may find victory in joy, love, and peace, just like them.
L'chaim 🥂
#meghan markle#prince harry#harry and meghan#anniversaries#see you all again for year 10?#and to many many more 💞
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