thinking abt how nostalgia is a completely normal futile thing to be caught up in, but whats strange for our age group right now is that internet nostalgia in specific is a. often extremely individualized due to the fragmented nature of the internet when we were growing up and b. impossible to be revisited as it has all mostly faded away. It leaves sort of a strange empty feeling. I can walk past my old school library and see kids enjoying it now, or watch a film i loved as a kid, but i can never again surf through the top 40 list of horsegirl webpages and see a new generation carefully put together their emo pixel wolves on a grotty proboards forum you know?

Headlines

A fun cubs come out fic!

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove

@im-oknutzy-trash - here you go!

(Just one last note - there is one scene with a little spicy quip but it doesn’t get in any way explicit :))

“I’m home!” Finn called as he came through the door to their apartment, duffle bag falling off his shoulder and crashing into the door.

“Wow.” Logan commented, coming over to help him. “Home for less than a minute and you’re already trying to wreck the place.”

“Oh hush.” Finn said, dropping his bags and pulling Logan in by the waist. “Hello to you too.”

Logan grinned and went soft, leaning into Finn’s kiss. “How was Alex?”

They moved away from the door to the couch, Logan setting Finn’s bag aside to be dealt with later. 

“Good, Kase and Nat are going out to see him in a few days so he was all excited.” 

Logan laughed, kicking off his shoes to curl his feet under him. “Now that I get.”

Finn smiled and glanced around. “Where’s Leo?”

“He just had to pop out to the shop. We’re out of milk. He should be back soon though.”

Finn nodded, looking down at his hands, fiddling with his fingernails. “Hey Lo?”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking about… well what if… So like, you know Cap and Loops, right?”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Our teammates? Yeah I think I’m vaguely familiar with them.”

Finn huffed, rolling his eyes. “Wow sassy. You know that’s not what I meant.”

Logan tilted his head to the side in acquiescence, letting Finn continue. 

“I want to be like them.” Finn said quickly. “Can we be like them?”

He watched Logan frown for a moment, trying to figure out the difference between Remus and Cap and them. “Wait,” He murmured, eyes meeting Finn’s. “Do you mean?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. I think maybe we’re ready?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Leo coming in. 

“Hey Lo!” He said, without even looking around yet. “I got milk and that bread you like. Did Finn message you yet, he definitely should have landed by now.”

Leo reached the counter, putting the milk in the fridge before turning around and finally noticing the two boys in the room.

“I think his flight landed.” Logan said dryly, watching Leo take in Finn’s presence. 

“Hi baby.” Finn said, with a smile, truly grinning when Leo left the shopping bag half-empty and came over to kiss him hello instead. 

“Hi.” Leo said, slipping into the gap between his two boys. “I missed you.” 

Finn heard himself make a pleased noise as he leaned in to kiss Leo again. “Missed you too.”

“So,” Leo said as he pulled away, pulling Logan’s feet onto his lap. “What’re we talking about?”

Finn met Logan’s green eyes, pausing for a moment. “Um, I uh…”

Logan kicked his foot forward to nudge it against Finn’s thigh. “I got it Harzy.” He then turned to Leo. “We were thinking, maybe it’s time for us to come out? It’d be nice I think, not having to hide.”

Finn watched Leo carefully as the younger boy blinked in surprise before a small smile took over his face. 

“Yeah,” He breathed, looking between Logan and Finn. “Yeah that would be nice.” He bit his lip, looking smug and mischievous and Finn thought he might be falling in love all over again. “But I think we should have some fun first.”

****

Logan stumbled off the bus wearily - that four hour bus ride had just seemed to go on forever. Reporters stood outside the door to the hotel, despite the cold and the late hour but Logan leaned into Leo’s side anyways, Leo’s arm around his shoulder, Logan’s hand beneath his jacket. Photographers went wild, cameras shuttering quickly and Logan hid his smile in Leo’s jacket. This was going to be a whole lot of fun. 

****

Leo looked up as Marlene entered the locker room, glancing around to see who might be ready and available for an interview. Leo caught her eye and waved her over. 

“Hey Leo, how about a quick video for social media? I won’t keep you longer than five minutes.”

Leo smiled, he didn’t mind, this was all a part of their plan, the team and the rest of the staff had been made somewhat aware. Plus, he liked Marlene so he never had a problem with the interviews. “Sure.”

“Okay great!” She gave him a thumbs up as she started recording. “So, just last night, pictures of you and Logan Tremblay were released as you got off the bus - have you anything to say about them?”

Leo nodded, grinning. “Don’t forget James photobombing in the background. I think he was going for a ‘bunny ears’ effect but it ended up looking like he was doing it to Kasey instead. I think I need to get a copy framed.”

Marlene laughed, moving on. “So you and Logan are close then?”

Leo looked around the room comically. “What? You mean right now? Cause He’s in the PT room so a lot of the guys are closer.”

Marlene bit her lip, her eyes sparkling. “How do you feel about this game then?”

Leo sat back, finally going to answer a question honestly. “I’m feeling good. We’ve had a great start this season and I’m pretty confident.”

Marlene gave him another thumbs up and headed off to go chat to some of the other guys. A few stalls over, Finn met Leo’s eyes and blew him a kiss. 

*******

“The media seems to have calmed down a bit.” Logan commented as they all sat at home watching a movie. “Think it’s time for our next one?”

“Ooh, yes!” Finn enthused. “I call being in this one.”

Logan laughed and pulled out of the way so he could take a picture of Finn kissing Leo’s cheek, Leo’s face all scrunched up in a smile. 

“There you go, post it.”

Finn grinned, going to Instagram and putting up the picture with the caption ‘Days like this’ before tagging Leo for good measure. 

“That should entertain them for a couple of days.” He said, satisfied as he tossed his phone to another chair and leaned back into Logan’s warmth, kissing the spot just below his ear. 

“You and me next baby,”

****

Leo Knut and Finn O’Hara?

More than one couple in the Lion’s Den?

Knut cheating on Tremblay?

Logan laughed as he scrolled through the headlines and posts from fan accounts, taking screenshots of some of the art of them that had already begun to bubble up. Thomas was on the other side of him, watching a video of a fan analysing the teams interactions, trying to figure out who was actually in a relationship, laughing every few minutes. 

“Knutty,” Logan called, summoning Leo. “Look at this one.”

Leo took his phone and read the caption out loud. “Knut’s betrayal making Tremblay tremble?” He looked up and met Logan’s eyes, his face blank. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“I do!” Finn interrupted, coming up behind Logan and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Okay Lo, you hold up the article, now someone take our picture please!”

Logan ginned and relaxed into Finn as James snapped them together before posting it to his own account. ‘Doesn’t seem to be trembling to me.”

****

“I’m gonna go get some coffee, do you guys wanna come?” Leo said, the three of them still lying in bed. Finn shook his head, still mostly asleep, but Logan perked up.

“From the café down the street?”

Leo nodded, laughing when Logan was up like a shot, pulling on his clothes. 

“We’ll bring you back some, okay sweetheart?” Leo said as he leaned over the bed once more to kiss Finn goodbye. Finn just nodded and burrowed deeper into the duvet. 

“Love you.” He mumbled and the two boys left him to his dreams, slipping out of the room quietly. 

They walked down the street, hand in hand, going mostly unnoticed by the public. It was still early and a Sunday, so there weren’t too many people up and about, but even those that were paid them very little attention. It was easy to forget, in moments like this, that they had entire fan pages dedicated to them and many days they weren’t even recognised on the street. 

They got their coffee and drank it there, holding hands over the table outside the front door, watching the people passing by and chatting idly. Leo thought he spotted someone taking a not-so-discreet picture of them, but they didn’t care. Logan went inside to grab Finn’s cup to go and Leo lounged in the sunshine for a moment, breathing in the cool, sharp air. 

He opened his eyes to find Logan standing over him, looking down amusedly. “D’accord, mon choupinet?"

Leo smiled and stood up, stretching lazily. “Oui.”

They came back home to Finn still in bed, and joined him under the covers while he sipped his coffee.

“Oh, look we’re back in the headlines.” Leo commented as he angled his phone for them both to see. A photo of Leo and Logan from just a half hour ago stared back at them, Logan laughing at something Leo had said. 

“That’s such a cute picture,” Finn noted, putting on his glasses to take a closer look. “You should save that.”

Knut and Tremblay reunited? No news yet on how O’Hara is taking this latest blow.

“O’Hara would be doing fantastic if he had another kind of blow.” Finn grumbled, then blushed when he realised he had spoken out loud. “I mean-”

“Oh, we know what you meant.” Logan said, taking the nearly empty coffee cup from Finn and setting it on the nightstand as Leo eased Finn back, slipping under the covers as Logan captured his lips. “And that can be arranged.”

****

“So when do you guys think you’ll let them know what’s actually happening?” Remus asked Leo as he helped the blond boy with his stretching. 

Leo bit his lip as he thought. “I don't know? Soon maybe though, because this is fun and all but I’m tired of being analysed all the time now. At least if we tell them the truth, they’ll be chasing after us for a couple of weeks but then it’ll all settle down and be nice and quiet again, you know?”

Remus nodded, smirking when Leo took a sharp intake of breath as he pushed his legs a little further apart. “Yeah for sure. It’ll be pure chaos for a bit, but then they’ll quickly move onto the next big thing, I promise.”

Leo nodded, a little lost in thought. “Yeah, I’m ready to have a bit of privacy again. I think I’ll say it to the boys tonight.”

Remus nodded and pushed Leo a little further, laughing when Leo cursed under his breath.

“Fuck, if I’m alive after all this that is.”

****

“Alright, we’re doing this so?” Logan confirmed, making sure everyone was in agreement. 

“Yup.” Leo said, popping the ‘p’.

“It’s time.” Finn confirmed as they all pulled up the same picture they had chosen to post - a photo of the three of them taken at a party at Dumo’s. Logan sitting in Leo’s lap, head tilted up as he kissed Finn who was handing them their drinks. 

“Captions ready?” Finn asked and the other two nodded.  “Okay. Three,”

“Two,” Leo said.

“One.” Logan breathed and they all clicked ‘post’ at the same time. 

The next day, all the headlines were their Instagram captions-

Leo and Logan.

Finn and Leo.

Logan and Finn.

(Three’s not a crowd).

Wish I Was Sarah PT.1(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Kiara had first met you 3rd of December.You had been at a party,a christmas party to be specific.You were a kook which meant your parents forced you to go to all the big mansion parties all the time.All of the big ones were there,Sarah Cameron,Topper Thornton,Rafe Cameron,Kiara Carrera.All of them.

You had worn a sweater over a simple t shirt,too lazy to put on a dress like all the others.Your parents were just glad that you had agreed to make an appearance even if you looked like shit.You had sat in the corner of the couch,earbuds in.You were listening to Sweater Weather,thinking it was funny because you were,in fact,wearing a sweater.

Kiara had stood at the snack table for a while,holding a disgusting monstrosity of a cookie,debating on picking off the sprinkles and throwing them away.She had never really been a fan of sprinkles.She had glanced around the crowds,the moms talking as they ate cheese cubes,the dads talking as they drank beers and wine,the other teens probably getting high up in the bathroom.Then her eyes fell on you.

She felt her face heat up immediately,staring at you for a while.You were underdressed for the occasion,your earbuds in as you sat curled up on the couch,seeming tired of being there.She debated herself in her head,trying to decide whether to approach you or not.Eventually she gave in,walking across the room with fake confidence,sitting down next to you.She watched as you tensed up,your eyes going wide,your bottom lip between your teeth,wondering what she wanted.

You pulled out an earbud,looking up at the beautiful girl that had decided to sit next to you of all places. “Hey.”She smiled,holding out her hand to you. “Im Kiara.”She introduced herself.You pulled out your other earbud,a small grin on your face. “Hi.Im (Y/N).”You shook her hand,feeling your face heat up a bit. “So um….yeah.What song were you listening to?”She asked,trying not to laugh at how dumb she sounded.You showed her your phone,finding yourself moving closer to her on the couch. “You like Frozen ll a lot.”She laughed,watching you scroll through the playlist.

You nodded,handing her an earbud to make her listen to Lost In The Woods. “Ive never seen Frozen ll.”She admitted,watching as your jaw dropped and your eyes widened. “Kiara!Oh my god-whats wrong with you?”Your voice became higher as you talked,your hand covering your mouth.She laughed at you,shrugging. “Wait,have you seen the first one?”You asked.She nodded,watching as a look of relief came across your face. “Okay,did you like it?”You asked.She shrugged once again,smiling at your enthusiasm. 

“The second one is better I promise.”You answered.She rolled her eyes,leaning back against the couch. “Im serious!The soundtrack,the animation everything is so much better!”You exclaimed,shaking your phone as you spoke.She nodded. “Yeah,whatever you say.”She replied,watching as you tried to convince her. “You have to watch it!Please?”You pouted.She nodded,making you clap your hands in excitement as you went into your disney plus app.She watched as you scrolled through the movies,a big grin on your face because you had easily defeated her.

 “Its so cold in here.Who puts air conditioning on in december?”She complained out loud.You handed her your phone for a moment,not hesitating to pull off your sweater and hand it to her. “That’s pretty warm.”You told her,not really thinking about it.Her face turned red,biting her bottom lip as she held back a smile.

She had originally regretted her wardrobe choice of a green dress,the fabric light and flowy,her arms exposed which caused goosebumps to rise across her caramel skin.She didnt regret it now though as she pulled on your sweater,the warm fabric making the goosebumps go away.Her heart was thumping as you moved incredibly close to her,handing her an earbud and holding your phone in front of the two of you.

As you reached the point of Into The Unknown it was announced that dinner was ready,ham,turkey,potatoes,corn,rolls,pretty much everything imaginable.It disgusted you that you all had a feast of expensive,high quality food while people in The Cut were lucky to have a meal a day.The adults called the other teens downstairs for the meal and you promised Kiara that you’d finish watching it after.You two decided to sit next to eachother at the table,your sweater still on her.

She offered it back to you,saying that she didnt want to get food on it but you told her that it was fine and that it looked better on her anyways. “So the movie...what do you think about it so far?”You had asked softly as Kelce and Topper came down the stairs. “Its good.Its good,like you said,better than the first for sure.”She nodded,eyebrows furrowing when she noticed your eyes falling away from her and towards someone walking down the stairs.Sarah fucking Cameron.The blonde was wearing a nice,light grey dress that looked amazing on her figure,her hair in pretty braids.

Kiara saw the look in your eyes,the way they were full of wonder,mesmorized by Sarah Cameron.She felt like dying,like being eaten up by a black hole as she wondered how she could be so stupid.She had thought that maybe you were interested in her but it was probably because she had been the only girl there.Now that Sarah was here she would be lucky if she could get your attention back again. 

“So what do you think of the theory about Elsa?”She asked,glaring at Sarah.Your face heated up,taking your eyes off of the pretty blonde and back to Kiara. “What theory?”You asked,glancing over at Sarah every couple of moments.Kiara tried to hide her anger,covering it with a small grin. “The one about her being a lesbian.What do you think of it?”She asked,trying to learn more about you and if she even had a chance.You bit your lip,looking over at the plate of biscuits. 

“I mean,I think at this point we all just want representation in disney and in like,media in general but I dont think Elsa is a lesbian.I feel like she might be aromantic or maybe...well,I dont really know.There’s nothing-well,you know she actual might be a lesbian,”You paused,leaning forward to grab a biscuit and put it on your plate. 

“There’s this one scene in Frozen ll,ill point it out to you that has like vibes to it.But then again just because she doesnt have a male love interest doesnt exactly mean she’s a lesbian.Moana and Merida didnt have guys that they were in love with but that doesnt mean they’re lesbians.Merida might be a lesbian,have you seen how good she is in nature and cooking fish in the wild?And how she knew those berries were poison?Thats some cottage core lesbian shit.What was I talking about?”you asked,realising you had gotten caught up in the topic and had forgotten the original question.

Kiara smiled,glad to hear you speak so passionately about something. “If Elsa is a lesbian.”She held back a laugh,watching as the realisation came across your face. “Right,so the answer is yes but also no but also yes.Like at least fifty percent yes but also no but im 1000% confident in Merida being a lesbian.”You confirmed,cutting open your biscuit.She nodded,trying to think of a new topic before she lost your attention again. “So the whole thing of people shipping Else with Jack Frost.What do you think of that?”She asked,laughing when your fists slapped down in your lap,gaining the attention of Rafe and Sarah. 

“Dude literally it makes no sense!Jack Frost isnt even disney!Like the only reason anyone ever shipped them was because they have the same powers but Jack is like 300 years old and hes like...energetic and giggly and child-like and immature and she would get so annoyed so quick!She’s introverted and serious and of course theres nothing wrong with that but she gets like too embarrassed too fast and I cant see them ever getting together or even being friends.Like,Merida is most definitely a lesbian but if they’re gonna ship Jack with anyone it should be her!Their personalities are so similar.”You huffed,biting into a half of your biscuit.

She nodded,grabbing a scoop of mashed potatoes and putting it onto her plate. “Yeah,definitely.So who is your favorite disney princess?”She asked,sending a bitter glare towards Sarah.Sarah had been staring at you during your passionate speech,filtering out the other voices to listen to you.She found you fascinating,intriguing.She was trying to figure out why she didnt know you or if you were new to the island.You glanced her way,smirking to yourself when you saw her blush. “Um...I dont think I have a favorite.They’re all powerful and wonderful in their own ways and they all have pretty cool stories.Except Pocahontas,I hate that they romanticize colonization and in reality she was like ten and he was in his late twenties.The soundtrack was great though.”You shrugged,taking a sip of root beer.

She nodded,listening in to what the old folks were talking about.There were more people outside who had opted to take plates of food out there.Kiara wouldve preferred to go outside but it was colder out there and she hadnt been prepared.Her mother was looking at her from across the table but Kiara couldnt care less,too busy searching for your parents. “Hey,(Y/N)?”She asked quietly,getting your attention off of your biscuit. “Where are your parents?”She asked.You shrugged,getting your own scoop of mashed potatoes. “I think they’re outside.I dunno.”You answered.She nodded,continuing to eat,sending a glare towards Sarah every couple of moments. 

“Eat faster so we can finish the movie.”You told her,not thinking about it as you spoke.She smiled,hurrying to eat. “Wait,why dont we just go outside and watch it?”She suggested.You bit your cheek,trying to figure out why you hadnt thought of that.You nodded,standing up and picking up your root beer,balancing it on your plate and walking out of the house,Kiara close behind you. “Where are we going?”She asked.You grinned,careful as you walked down the hill. “I know a spot.”You answered,walking across the sand of the beach.

You had explored pretty much all spots of the beach and had found your favorite one,a cave behind a wall of rocks that you had personalized.You walked towards the rock wall,slipping through the crack. “What is this place?”She asked,still following you.You smiled,turning on your phone flash light so you could see the lantern that you had put in there,turning it on.Her face lit up,looking around the cave.Pillows,sheets,blankets,pretty curtains hanging from the walls,a bin of paints so you could paint the rocks. “Thats such a good question.I really dont know how it got here,I just went through the crack one day and kind of just found it.”You shrugged,sitting down in the pile of pillows and patting the spot next to you.She sat down,shifting so she was as close to you as possible,leaning her head against your shoulder to test the waters.You pulled the earbuds from you phone,turning up the volume of the movie.

@poguestyleskye​ @jjtheangel​ @balanceofgray​​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian 

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

13 Days of Christmas (Jeon Wonwoo)

If you read Terrible Things, this is in the same universe! It was one of my favorites to write!!! Also Joshua Hong has got me fucked up...unedited bc im getting ready for work

Word count: 2392

You could feel it deep in your bones that something was off with Wonwoo. He was generally a happy person; you could tell by the way he walked. When he was happy, he took big strides and if he was in the middle of a story, he would often talk with his hands, and sometimes he could be heard before he could be seen. But when something bugged it, it was darkness loomed over him, no matter how hard he tried to cover it up. Ever since the month started, you could see his spirits deflating by the day. 

Now Christmas was one of your favorite holidays because it brought out the charitable sides of people. And the lights and inflatables made everything feel magical. You often switched between the famous Santa hat to the elf just because.Everything just...felt different. And every time you saw Wonwoo, it was like he lacked something. At first, you thought he caught a bug which is why you stayed at arm’s length for a time. No offense to him, but if you got sick, you’d be sad because the child you adored so much didn’t deserve to be sick.

And then, you asked him if he was still sick and he looked at you funny and you knew he wasn’t sick and you felt foolish. So you made him cookies to make up for it. But when you went to his house, you were surprised that you didn’t find one anything related to Christmas, not a tree or stocking or even a single candy cane. The outside didn’t look like the rest of the neighborhood. And the inside just looked the same. It kinda broke your heart and then it clicked that he was still mourning the death of his wife and you felt even dumber for not noticing that sooner.

He had given you the time off to go home with your friends and family and he’d stay with Daejung. All the other members finally had the chance to spend their Christmases either back home or with the families of their newest love interests. So, you rejected the offer and told him you’d be staying home instead so if he needed you for any type of emergency, you’d be easy to reach.

So you fixed up your house with enough Christmas cheer to take you to the next century and whipped up more food than you thought you had and counted down the days to Christmas. You bought and sent gifts to your deserving family members and some for the boys whenever you saw them again (which you had a hunch would be some time after the new year because the idol life was hard) and you put extra thought and care for the single father and son who you hoped wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. It saddened you to think Dae would grow up without a mother but Wonwoo...Wonwoo lost his best friend and partner in crime. He’d have to watch Dae turn into someone who resembled both. Mrs. Jeon Wonwoo, according to Wonwoo was a spectacular woman so with her in mind, you found something for them for each of them and you hoped they liked it.

*

“Y/N, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble just to have us over,” Wonwoo chided you gently. “It’s just a holiday and Dae won’t even know if missed a Christmas.” He wiped his mouth on the napkin you provided. He wasn’t as he hungry as he looked but you just made the best food he ever tasted, so he just had to get a bite of everything.

You fed Daejung a spoonful of soup you made especially for him while looking at him. “No one should spend it alone, and I wasn’t gonna have anyone over. And since I work for you, isn’t this just another day for us?” You turned to the baby who was expectantly waiting for more. “Alright baby, open up. Alright you wanna feed yourself? Okay, but eat.”

He raised his cup of coffee in a toast but he watched you interact with Dae feeling happy despite the circumstances. His wife had passed away about half a year ago, so while he still struggled to make peace with it, he found comfort in knowing found a close to full time nanny that loved him almost as much as she would’ve. He knew you fell in love with the baby at first sight and Dae himself did so many things for your attention when Wonwoo interviewed you. He finally felt like he made the right choice in choosing. He was still realistic though; he wasn’t gonna ask for your hand in marriage and ask you to raise Dae like he was your own son. But he had to admit he hated the way his heart twisted up at the thought of Dae being old enough to do these things without you.

“Eww, dirty boy,” he saw you affectionately wrinkle your nose at him, “you got the carrots all over yourself. Wow, you finished your potatoes. Do you want more?” Wonwoo was pleasantly surprised when Daejung nodded. “Finish a little bit more juice, my love. Please?”

“Aren’t you gonna eat, Y/N?” He didn’t doubt that your own food would be cold by now. “I can take care of him? We’re your guests.”

You waved him off, standing up and getting Daejung out of his high chair, not minding the mushed vegetables that landed on your white shirt and potentially staining it. You finally sat him on your lap, ready to finally enjoy your meal. “I have noodles, corn, peas and whatever you want...okay maybe not whatever you want but things you can eat.”

“Is he really that hungry?”

“I don’t know much about genetics but I’m almost positive he takes up after you with that.” You pointed at the nearly empty plate and Wonwoo was shocked at how much he managed to eat. “Watch. I’m gonna grab some of the noodles with my chopsticks and then Dae’s gonna grab them and eat them.”

“Aren’t they spicy?” The whole reason he ate nearly everything else except the noodles was for that same reason.

“Wonwoo, if I didn’t know he’d eventually pick at my plate, I would’ve added more spices and everything. Mostly everything I made is safe enough for Dae to eat.”

“Why?”

“Because he will eat just about anything I make, especially if I’m about to eat.” And sure enough, the moment you raised the chopsticks with the noodles, Daejung swiped them and stuffed them in his mouth, giggling like he knew what he was doing. 

Wonwoo watched in awe how you balanced his son on your lap while he ate the vegetables and how you managed to feed yourself while holding a conversation. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he was your son. Soon enough you finished eating and he was gonna clear the table but you held out Dae to him and Wonwoo got the hint he needed changing. You gave him directions to change him in your room while you finished.

He was struck dumb when he saw a picture of Dae on your nigthstand, looking so happy and full of life. Wonwoo figured Dae was a couple months younger judging from the baby fat, but he looked the same. He looked a lot like his late wife and he was brought back to the harsh reality that she was gone. He didn’t think he could ever love someone that much again. It wasn’t fair; maybe she would’ve still been here if he didn’t convince her to quit her job. Maybe If he told her not to go to Japan with them or maybe if Soonyoung didn’t convince her to have dinner. Maybe, maybe... 

A sudden sob racked through his body and he tried to keep his composure. He was here with Daejung and you. This already happened; he couldn’t turn back time no matter times he wished it. The reality was his wife was gone. He was learning to live without her and Daejung would never have a memory of her. He shook his head. He was a guest here in your home; he needed to be happy for the moment, because he was enjoying himself a few minutes ago with you. You were laughing and throwing food at each other. You were friends spending Christmas together and Daejung just so happened to be the person who brought you together.

When he went to the living room, he didn’t expect to see you on the couch lightly flipping through the channels with the fireplace on. He felt...warm and cozy in so many ways and he just had to smile. Daejung cooed and you turned around quickly, hands stretched for your favorite little friend. He squirmed in Wonwoo’s arms, clearly wanting you and you handed him over, once again in awe in how much Dae loved you.

“Alright Mister, we’re gonna open Christmas gift and then you can go home, okay?” You lowered your voice but he could still hear you. “I found the cartoons you like so if you fall asleep you can stay longer because your daddy wouldn’t dare take you out in this cold.” You booped his nose and his little hand touched your cheek.

“Did you get us presents? Y/N, you really didn’t have to. We already took up so much of your time.”

“Yes I absolutely had to. What’d you think? You were coming over just to have breakfast? No, come sit down and enjoy the day. Jeon Wonwoo, you and I, we’re a family in a way.”

Family. He had to admit, he liked the idea of that. He sat down next to you as you put Dae on the floor so he could crawl to his heart’s content. “Where’d you get all those toys?”

“Well, with how you work a lot at night and you bring him over, isn’t it a smart idea to have something for him to play with?”

“Your friends must think you’re weird for taking care of some idol’s kid, huh?”

“Well Wonwoo, to be honest, I don’t have them over very much for that same reason. From the way you and your friends talk about your wife and the fact that the media doesn’t even know about her, I just assumed that you’d like to keep it that way, for the respect of her privacy. My friends don’t even know it’s your son I take care of. As far as they know, you don’t have a son. They just know I watch my boss’s son most of the time. Any days off you give me, I try to keep them away from here...just so they don’t ask questions. It’d be a little hard to explain why I have a mini version of Jeon Wonwoo in my house.”

He smiled at you wholeheartedly. “You weren’t kidding when you said you knew what you were getting into.” He could feel his heartbeat picking up. Have you always looked like that?

“Dae will eventually have to grow up and face all of this but as his babysitter, it’d be best to let him stay out of the limelight as long as possible. It’s harder for you because you’re still traveling the world but you know as long as we keep doing whatever we’re doing, he’ll be fine.” You weren’t looking at him as you spoke because your earnestness often made you feel embarrassed so you kneeled on the floor and picked up Wonwoo’s Christmas gift. Daejung, having been busy crawling everywhere he could, fell asleep and you  draped a small blanket over him. 

“I feel shitty not getting you anything,” he admitted. “It’s been a hard year.”

“Don’t worry about that. Daejung makes everyday feel like Christmas. And watching him for you feels kinda surreal, so thank you. Open your gift.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting three photobooks of him and his wife and their history. He thumbed through them quickly. “How did you do this?”

“Jeon Wonwoo, every corner I turned at your house had pictures everywhere. So with Seungkwan’s help we found all of them and tried to make an accurate timeline.”

“That would explain why he asked me about us the other day.” Were you always this considerate too? “And what’s Dae’s?”

“Um, Jeonghan helped me look for a single photo of her. He helped me pick out the frame and everything and while he might never know who she was, I don’t think you’d want him to forget her either.”

“Y/N,” he felt at a loss for words, not sure what an appropriate response was, so he just pulled you in and gave you the tightest hug he had ever given someone. “Thank you,” he sobbed.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, but you kept your arms around him until he let you go. His heart still broke for his wife, you knew that, and that no one would ever take her place. But you also did know one day, he could move on and start over. He’d finally start dating (only if he wanted to though) and then he and Dae could be happy together. “Would you guys like to stay a little longer?” you asked quietly. “You don’t look like you’re ready to go home yet.”

“I don’t want to bother you anymore today.”

“You’re not a bother. Tell you what, pick a movie of your choice, I’ll make some popcorn and we can have some wine and then you guys can home once you’ve had dinner.”

“Y/N, we just finished breakfast!”

“Christmas was meant to be spent together.”

“Okay fine, but you’re not taking care of Dae anymore today.”

“I make no promises.”

“Deal.”

So you let Wonwoo flip through all the streaming networks while you made popcorn, poured two glasses of the reddest wine you owned and went back to the living room in hopes he found something. He didn’t choose a Christmas themed movie, but it was a comedy and you both found yourself laughing harder than necessary.

But you also didn’t deny the racing of your heart when he shyly yet somewhat casually entwined his hand his yours.

After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

hi. I’m honestly not sure how to start this, but uhhhh, I’m just in a really really horrendous place right now.

basically, last night I had yet another massive breakdown, not just because there was a big sp*der trying to get into our room, but for many other reasons as well. lately, I’ve just not been doing well. my anxiety has been through the roof because of the pandemic, because of the trauma that I went through when my sister left for Brighton (even though she’s back now, it was just a horrible heartbreaking time that sucked the energy out of all of us and I personally have not yet had the chance to regain it hehe) and a bunch of other events that have happened/are happening in my life. and therefore, because I’ve felt so drained, I have been unable to bring myself to answer messages, whether that’s on here or anywhere for that matter. all I want to do is curl up in a ball and no longer exist. Im just so tired. what’s weird is that my life has been like this for the last 2 years. I’ve had the same exact routine every day. I was doing bad before all of this shit started happening, but now I guess that everyone is sharing my experience, I’ve only gotten worse. I guess that that’s because first of all, i haven’t had legitimate time and space to myself in a very long time. we live in a small house where it’s hard to find privacy. I will lock myself in my room often, but people can still hear me and I can still hear them, and it doesn’t at all fulfill my need for alone time. also, no one cares about anything anymore. and that should be something that relieves me because I’ve spent much of my life worrying about people caring about what I look like and abt shit like that. and they don’t. but I lowkey miss when they cared because I miss dressing up, throwing on makeup, and leaving the house to go to a social gathering. I never would’ve thought that I’d miss any of that as much as I do. talking online SUCKS and so does calling the people i love and care about. nothing is more genuine than being with them face to face.

the last thing that has been kind of making me crazy is the fact that I’m on my phone so much. before having a phone, I used to be super into art and photography. I used to know myself and have an idea of what my future might look like. I feel like I’ve just gradually lost all of that, I don’t even know who I am anymore other than a prisoner to my own mental illness. I think about how happy and care free I used to be for a short while and it just breaks me because I feel like I’ll never be able to be that person again. I’ll never be able to find myself and what derives me to feel creative and attentive. all I do is sit on my phone and basically get caught up in posts that make me question my worth (NOT here, i mean on various other social media platforms.) and I’m sick of it. I want to delete it but I have so many ties to it so I really would rather not, but otherwise I feel so stuck and attached to it and I just want to cut myself off from it so bad in hopes that I become the person that I once was. it’s all just so hard and I feel so stuck and alone. I hate this so much, I’m so tired. I don’t know when or even if things are going to get better. I’m just losing hope quicker than I imagined.

ALSO. I know that this is FAR from the worst. it’s really hard to sit in a moment like this though and think about every reason I have to be grateful. the negative shit in my life right now is prioritizing my mind and therefore, everything else is quite blurry. don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for all the good things I have. but there’s just so much negativity in pain getting in the way of that.

but anyway. I’m sorry that this is such a long vent post, I really struggle with condensing my thoughts. I just want to say that I’m so grateful this community, it always fills me with good thoughts and reminders and I feel so loved and cared for here. I don’t really feel that way anywhere else so I’m super appreciative of all of this. this m*thers day is quite shit right now (there’s lots of chaos here) but I hope that everyone has a great day and thank you for listening. I love and appreciate you all more than you know. <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Somebody that I used to know (Ben Hardy x Reader)

Summary:   you used to be ben’s and ben used to be yours, but you broke up due to distance and media pressure. you both decide that beings friends is for the best, but ben barely even sees you anymore.

Words: 2,473

Notes: drinking is done (i’ve never drunk bc im not an illegal yes yes so sorry if this is not accurate i tried to do research) get rEKTT BY THE ANGST TRAIN.

A/N:  i know it’s valentine’s but uh yesa.. um HAPPY VALENTINES!! <3 ps. this will probably be a three part series and if this flops u never saw me

 🎊 tagging:   @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things 

~~~~~~~~~

You were a mess; much like a painting, a thousand words hid behind your gaze. Words of anger, words of sadness, words of relief; they all raced through your mind. He was a mess; much like liquor, he’d try to numb the pain, but he couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. The day had come where he couldn’t hide behind a pillar of excuses.

You and Ben had been dating for a year now and six months in, you decided to go public. There have been many downfalls and peaks within that time. Ben was always out either shooting or doing press tours; meanwhile you were almost always on the other side of the world, busy with your own tour. Whatever time you had together would be miniscule; the way time flew when you were together was almost surreal.

You met on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody. You were called upon to do a cover of “Killer Queen” along with a small part in the movie; You obviously could not say refuse. You cleared your schedule for the next two weeks, right before you’d leave for tour, and packed your bags. When you got there, you were lost and late, but luckily a blonde british boy found you wandering the halls.

“Hey, are you (Y/N)?”

“Uhm, yeah.”

“Lots of people are looking for you.”

It blossomed from there, and it was what a feeling it was. You only spent two weeks in production, but you could feel the strong friendly energy radiating off of everyone, it was particularly amazing to watch Rami become Freddie Mercury. You had gotten acquainted with everyone, and even exchanged social media handles, but Ben was especially ‘friendly’. About a week before you had to leave, the blonde finally asked you on a date.

You were honestly completely oblivious to his efforts, because everything seemed to good to be true on the magical sets of Bohemian Rhapsody. You thought he was  just being his kind, generous and chivalrous self, however all those intimate moments between you two did spark butterflies in your stomach. It kind of baffled you, trying to figure out what about you caught his attention. He took you out to see London, and at the end of the day he brought you to a cozy bistro where you were spent time alone. At the end of the date, he had built up enough confidence to ask you if you wanted to try and be a thing. With the adrenaline pumping in your veins, you accepted a million times over.

You spent the last week, absolutely smitten over one another and when you left you both called each other everyday. On your sixth month together, he flew all the way to one of your concerts. He surprised you after the show and you almost cried.

“I want the whole world to know you’re my whole world.”

That was when you cried. You agreed and you both went public. It had been a rough seven months, from cheating allegations to pregnancy rumours to the constant harassment from paparazzi and others. It was ripping the both of you apart, and there was so much pain because of your love. It was like being together, unravelled the both of you. The only reason you were still strong was because of him, but all the consequences had struck you down. You felt like you couldn’t be yourself without being associated to Ben, and he felt the same. You loved each other dearly, but you still wanted to have your own careers.  

And this was where you stood, in Ben’s London apartment. You had a show tomorrow night, but you figured you had to talk to him.

You both at looked at each other, your faces full of sorrow and disbelief. You thought you could somehow last forever, but almost is never enough. You both knew what had to be done, you just didn’t want to imagine each other apart. You decided to speak up, sobbing softly.

“Ben, we can’t go on like this.” You held his hand lightly. You felt weak and tired, but you were holding onto whatever you had left.

“I know.” He said simply, tightening his grip on your hand. He seemed almost mad at himself.

“So that’s it?” You asked tears trailing down your cheek. You thought he would have something more to say. He took you by the waist and held you close.

“All we do is hurt each other. It’d be better for us to be friends.” He paused, running a hand through your hair.

“We just hurt each other, I knew this since before. I just didn’t want to believe it, but now I see that it’s unhealthy. I’m not worthing of saying I love you when I’m the cause of your everyday agony.” He speaks softly, his voice cracking at the end.

“You’re not the cause of my everyday agony. In fact, you’re my sunshine. ” You say quietly, hugging him as close as humanly possible.

“But you wouldn’t be in so much pain if it weren’t for me.” He replies, taking in your scent, holding onto it. He clung onto you as if you were never to see one another again. You just stayed in each other’s embrace, one last time in silence. It was a somewhat comforting silence, knowing the pain would be over, but you were going to lose who you thought was the love of your life.

After you had both said your goodbyes, you left. You agreed you would both still be friends, but it just didn’t seem right to you. Maybe, if you had both met in much more normal circumstances you would have reached the end, but that wasn’t going happen. You had to go on and put the best happy face for your concert tonight.

“(Y/N), Are you okay?” Lucy asked snapping a finger in front of you. She had gone backstage to check on you, before you went out. You had invited the cast to your concert, but you weren’t sure if Ben would even come which was understandable.

You were zoning off into the distance, unable to process anything. Ever since yesterday, everything had been a blur and you couldn’t get your mind off of him. You hadn’t been able to sleep, eat, and think straight. You missed him so much, and it was bad.

“(Y/N)?” Lucy asked once more, shaking your shoulders.

“Yes, I’m fine.” You finally said, sighing deeply. You were most definitely not, but who could tell? Ben usually did, that’s who.

“If you say so. You’re gonna kill it tonight!” She said smiling softly. She knew what happened, but you had basically told everyone to not mention it and told the media to ‘piss off’. You really needed to do well tonight. You flashed a weak smile, assuring her you were ‘pumped’. She left you to it and went back out into the crowds.

She sat down with Rami, Gwilym and Joe, who immediately started asking about you.

“Not so good.” She sighed as the rest of them sighed in unison. They had been trying to comfort you and Ben, but that was proving to be difficult as it seemed like everything reminded you both of one another.

“Where’s Ben?” Rami asked, worrying about his other friend.

“He’s probably watching a livestream of the concert. He said he was going to practice drumming, but we all know that it could be very much code for well..” Joe trailed not even daring to put them in the same sentence. Suddenly, the lights went out and the show was about to start. Gwilym quickly added “We’ll have to split up later.”

It wasn't that they wanted to meddle between your relationship. It was more like seeing their parents divorce or something. They didn't want to choose any side, and they didn't want to see either of you looking terribly miserable.

The show was typical. It wasn’t anything grand, but it wasn’t boring. Although if you looked closely, you could see hurt written across your face. You remember how you would send Ben videos of the concert and he would express how proud he was. Almost every love song you sang was inspired by him and you couldn’t avoid him while pouring out your emotions on stage. You had to physically restrain yourself not to become a sad and depressing loser who had broken up with her boyfriend. You started feeling hazy towards the end of the show, so you were pretty loose in those last moments.

“Goodnight everyone!” You chriped, faking confidence, before stepping off stage and heading to your dressing room, lying across your sofa. You had literally told everyone that you'd deal with whatever they needed later, right now you just needed to breathe.

Your closed your eyes, trying not to think of him.You blamed yourself for the downfall. Maybe if you hadn’t gone too fast, you both wouldn’t end up crashing and burning. Maybe you shouldn’t have said yes to being the girlfriend of a guy you had known for a week. You had let everything go to your head. It was all a mistake, a beautiful yet tragic mistake.

You decided that if you wanted to get over him you needed to get rid of everything that reminded you of him, but you didn’t really know how to. You weren’t ready to just throw everything away. You needed start small. You fell asleep whilst mindlessly thinking; honestly you just wanted to sleep for a thousand years.

Lucy and Rami arrived to see you passed out on the sofa. At first they were filled with absolute dread, but someone had informed them that you had just taken a nap. You weren’t sure you were taking a nap though, if it was possible you didn’t want to wake up. Rami shook you shoulder lightly, trying to wake you up and it was indeed enough to awake you.

“Hi, sorry, that really wore me out.” You said yawning as you sat up straight.

“It was a phenomenal concert afterall! I know exactly what would do you some good.” Rami said happily, desperately trying to brighten the mood.

“We should go out for drinks, maybe some dancing?” He continued, seeing your eyes somewhat light up at the idea. It was at least brighter than the darkness that had clouded your pupils since the break up.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” You said nodding, feeling a genuine ping of joy. “But where are Gwil and Joe?” You asked looking around the dressing room. Lucy suddenly panicked trying to find an excuse or explanation to where they had gone.

“They had to head over to the pharmacy! Something about joe drinking a milkshake earlier.” She came up with a pretty believable excuse, enough for you to believe. You just nodded and let them take you.

The three of you wasted the night away drinking and singing karaoke; getting drunk also meant you letting loose which was just what you needed. You were actually drunk enough to mingle with other people on the dance floor.

“Hey I’m (Y/N) and-”

“(Y/N) (L/N)? Didn't you just perform a few hours ago?”

“Yeah yeah whatever, so I was thinking you looked cute and I think I look cute sooo..”

“(Y/N)!” Lucy interrupted your attempts at flirting and dragged you back to the booth the three of you had gotten. You were drunkenly protesting against this, wanting to go back, but she had a strong grip. She sat you down at booth, before she sat down, keeping you from leaving.

“Aww, party pooper.” You said teasing her.

“I don't think you should make rash decisions when you're drunk, love.” She said slightly annoyed by your complete ignorance to the situation. Hey, at least you weren't mopping about Ben. Rami came back with two drinks handing one to Lucy and sitting on the other side of the booth.

“How about me?” You whined, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Sorry,, but I think it's for the best.” Rami said taking a swig from his drink. You just grumbled in response, annoyed by his validness. He was most definitely right. The night went on with the three of you just hanging out; they shared funny stories on set and you shared funny stories on tour. You wish you could’ve stayed longer, but everyone has their responsibilities. Speaking of responsibilities, Rami looked at the time to see it was getting pretty late and they had an early day tomorrow.

“Hey (Y/N), We have an early day tomorrow so-”

“Say no more! I’ll just call a cab home.”

“Are you sure, you could go with us you know?”

“Nope, it’s totally fine, promise.” You smiled as they got up from the booth. Lucy gave you a knowing look so you just raised your hands in defense. “No rash decisions, promise.” You held out a hand and she took it, shaking on it.

“Get some rest, (Y/N).” Rami let out a chuckle, linking arms with Lucy. You nodded and watched them go off. You were left to your thoughts in a bustling and rowdy club. You thought about taking our your phone to call a taxi, but the fire coursing through your blood said otherwise. You ordered another drink or five, despite Rami’s past wishes, and sat all by yourself, wallowing in alcohol.

You liked it. You couldn’t feel anything, pain, regret, gloom, they were all gone. You had completely lost yourself, in the chaotic atmosphere. You didn’t feel guilty or sad or mad, You felt insanely confident. You decided to go back out to the dance floor and mingle.

“Hello there.” You smirked slyly.

Meanwhile, Ben was with Gwil and Joe watching action movies to get his mind off the subject of romance. Little did they know that this was yours and Ben basically watched every genre together, so it didn’t really work. He has spent the whole night watching your concert, before the two came along with ice cream.

Frankie was in his lap and he pet her gently as the movie played. He wished he was a better boyfriend; maybe he wouldn’t be guilty out of his mind. He should of visited you more often, he should’ve told you how much he loved you; but that was all in the past and he can’t do anything anymore. The mere thought of being in love with you made him feel liable for his actions.

He would always hold himself responsible for everything that came crashing down.

He looked on the brightside, you two could still be friends. Maybe without the media suffocating you both into romantic endeavors, you could spend time together openly. He kept telling himself everything was going to be better, but was it?

~~~~~~~~~

masterlist for EXO

yeeeeet this master list is for EXO, the rest of my master list are in my request rules!!

________________________

Chanyeol

mafia shit and it's too cool to caption it

him being jealous cause you been hanging out with Jongin lately

a fan wants a selca with you instead of him and he is jealous

he stole your stuffed toy because it smelled like you

where you complain cause you lost your lipstick

him fangirling over a selfie you posted

them picking another celebrity as your crush instead of them in an interview

you broke up with him and you regretted and do everything to get him back

mafia! you wearing something revealing in public

you and him are dating but he didn’t tell the group yet and you guys fight cause you think he’s ashamed of you

Super Junior group chat talking about that Chanyeol always gives you food and he is always flustered about you, but its gucci cause you like him back

when he loves another girl and you at the same time and you tried to get over him but he chooses you instead 

where you secretly date him and in the media he is dating another girl so you fight with him and he does everything for you to believe that he only loves you

he is always setting people together and he is feeling very lonely cause he thinks he will never find love and you’re like friends and lowkey like each other 

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

him having a REALLY BIG crush on you but actually, you are dating lay and him (lay:v) send a message to chanyeol telling him to not be close you (all this happens bc chanyeol send that confession to lay by mistake) 

Sehun

where you complain cause you lost your lipstick 

them picking another celebrity as your crush instead of them in an interview 

him being jealous cause you spent lots of time with Jimin (BTS)

you and him are both idols and you are currently out of town and he keeps sending you a picture of him and telling her to come home and he misses her

a fan wanted a selca with you instead of him

him pranking you pretending to break up with ya but you thought it was serious

mafia! he is jealous as fuck cause you went to the club with your friends and every guy was drooling for you

you are his ex-girlfriend and you both still want each other

mafia! jealous shit

you fight with him cause he is far from you and you fight cause he compares you to his ex

he is being really distant but its actually cause project and you find out through another member about it so you try to comfort him

when you left with your best friend baekhyun and sehun gets jealous

you kissed him and you started to avoid talking to him until he calls you

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

where you and him don’t like each other but have to do a work or something together and they start to spend a lot of time together and then they develop feelings for each other

where you go to Japan with him

he doesn’t like the fact you still communicate with your ex but you feel the need to because your ex is in a bad place but he still doesn’t approve 

Baekhyun

he stole your stuffed toy because it smelled like you 

them picking another celebrity as your crush instead of them in an interview 

he accidentally drops your makeup bag and breaks something

you meant that you already ate lay’s (as the chips) but you send you already ate lay (lay is your bf) and baekhyun thinks you ate lay as in your bf

where you confess that you like him but he rejects you  pt. 2  pt. 3

he loves you and another girl, so you get tired of him and leave him but he ends up choosing you

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

he is your best friend and so he becomes jealous because you ignore him while spending time with a classmate

you dyed your hair and he freaks out cause he didn’t know that you were going to dye it but he ends up liking it

Chen

him finding out you're older than him

you confess to him but he rejects her but instead of you getting mad you were gucci and stayed friends with him

everyday texts with him

best friend! every day with him

he confesses and you pretend you don't like him back but it's only a prank

Suho

him being clingy, cute and fluffy

you get into a really bad fight and you don’t talk for a while but then he confesses

he is jealous cause of how close you are to Jackson (got7) so you get into a fight but he apologizes

he is really clingy and he can’t sleep so he asks to come over for cuddles and like he’s embarrassed about it 

he is overprotective and like constantly looking out for you to see if you’ve eaten, slept

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

where you have a crush on him but he always gets annoyed by your childish and immature personality when you with the other members so he rejects her when you confess to him. Then you start changing herself and starts becoming boring and sad and he misses they way she was

he is your best friend and he doesn’t want to introduce you to the rest of exo cause he is so overprotective

he is really sad cause he cheated on you and you broke up with him, and he is talking to about how much he misses you to Minseok. Minseok gets really mad because he is in love with you

PT 2 of Suho + Xiumin

everyday texts

Lay

everyday texts with him

xiumin is texting you if you like mixing and you say yes and he tells him who likes you too

CUTE AND EXTRA EXTRA FLUFFY 

him and xiumin are fighting to ask you out but you are actually dating D.O

he is your chinese teacher and he is shy to ask you out

D.O

his birthday special 

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

he is jealous of you spending a lot of time with your co-worker from a drama 

really cute and shy kyungsoo confessing his feelings for you (but actually he thinks you like yixing)

Xiumin

you sexting him

you are dating him but he gets jealous because you spend more time with Suho

you are high and drunk as fuck at the same

when you're having a text conversation with your dad and him but your “okay daddy, I love you” reply was wrong sent to him

you prank texts him with the lines from high school musical “gotta go my own way"

Mafia! text when his girl is texting him to buy lots of foods she's craving for bc it's that time of the month

him being needy and clingy 

(same with Suho) Suho is really sad cause he misses you but he cheated you and you broke up with him, Xiumin is really rude to Suho cause he is in love with you

PT 2 of Suho + Xiumin

him asking chanyeol and suho how to ask you for a date

him and lay are fighting to ask you out but you are actually dating D.O

Kai

he is mad at you for spying on their phones

you fangirling over his visuals

him surprising you with a corgi puppy

where is he staring at you from the other side of the room

him accidentally confessing to you in the EXO group chat

he wants a more serious relationship and you stop talking but then come back to him

he is upset you wouldn’t hug or kiss him in public and he thinks you’re embarrassed by him

him being cute and whiny but like still cute and telling you he loves you like really cute

he is your best friend and he accidentally confessed so he stops talking to you because thinks you’ll reject him but you tell you to love him too and he’s shocked

where you fight with him cause he is jealous of you with chanyeol and in the middle of the fight he confesses that he is in love with you

where you say he’s been getting hate lately and you talk to him about it and he says it’s fine when he’s actually very upset and you find out help him with it

where you just started dating so he’s still very shy

mafia! he is your ex but you still love him

where he kissed you for the first time and ran away

where you fight with him and chanyeol tries to make you make up with him

he confesses and you laugh and say he’s drunk and then you later find out from another member he wasn't lying

where you broke up with him because you thought he was cheating on you but the girl was actually just his sister and you finally see that after he tries explaining it many times

everyday texts with him

best friends to lovers

where you prank him by pretending to break up with him and he is super sad and tries to be nice but it hurts him and you say you were kidding and he gets so relieved and happy

your boyfriend and he cheats on you and you break up and your best friend jongin who has feelings for your tries to cheer you up

cute & fluffy

best friend! he is shy and is scared to confess, you ask him out first and he gets flustered

he is jealous in the exo group chat

you talk about him all the time with Baekhyun and so he tells cause he wants to set you two up

where you accidentally hurt him

EXO K (let's pretend this gif is just of exo k)

he is mad at you for spying on their phones 

EXO M

coming soon! or request one!

EXO CBX

coming soon! or request one!

EXO Group Chat (pretend there is all 9 ok)

accidentally sending a naughty picture to the exo group chat but it was for chanyeol

they caught you and baekhyun kissing each other

without xiumin ! you are hungry and the group was deciding on what to eat 

them getting jealous of bts

mafia! shit and stuff

them trying to say “i love you” in French

mafia! you not answering your phone and they are freaking out and scared but you were actually just asleep

mafia! arranged marriage, where another member saw you with a guy in a cafe and told the member. they called but you didn’t hear so he writes you now

they are trying to persuade their best friend to go on a date with them

they forgot your date the 3rd time, this time you wouldn’t give in so fast. cause you really have effort buying a dress and making yourself beautiful for him. he went to the restaurant 2 hours later, the waiter told him you went home angry and crying 

you are really sleepy and moody

mafia! arranged marriage, you went somewhere without telling them

mafia! you ran away and your their wife and they find out, they called you many times but you didn’t pick up so they text you while trying to locate and find you

you're emotional and miss him badly

while they are away on tour and you miss each other

mafia! they are freaking out and scared but you were actually asleep

when you sent them “FUCK YOU” but it was actually meant to one of your friends who keeps on bugging you but instead you had sent it to them

their s/o having a panic attack cause of an exam

discovering that you are bulimic and talking about that with you in a chat group

you fangirling in a group chat because of the Olympics

them as fuckboys

Unconsolable (Roadtrip Vigilante continuation #1)

Gordon knows he’s never going to clear out Gotham completely. He knows you can’t put an end to all crime. He knows it’s a never-ending battle.

 For some reason, people don’t seem to talk about that with the police force. How of course there’s always gonna be crime. It’s not the fucking end of the world. When Pompeii went out, covered in ash, they had graffiti on the walls, and he’s sure when Gotham finally crumbles into dust, it’ll look much the same as Pompeii did.

 But every night, he lights a cig, blows it out into the air, and goes to work anyway.

 They’ll say the food programs should stop when people who are spending their money on drugs use it, and that disability access should be made inaccessible because some asshole might fake their way into it, but no one says cops shouldn’t do their job just because it’ll be a never-ending one.

 Funny how that is, sometimes.

-- 

Babs loves her computer. It’s a way for her to connect with the world in a way she’s had trouble doing now that she’s in a chair.

Gordon knows he’s a lucky motherfucker. He could’ve lost his daughter that day. He could’ve not been able to pay the medical bills. He could’ve not been able to buy his girl a good wheelchair. Not been able to afford a therapist. Not been able to guarantee Babs a job later in life. If she ever wanted disability benefits she wouldn’t be able to get them from the government--unless he hides all the money in his own bank and writes her down as non-dependant on his taxes. So instead he’s gotta save up a fund for her, and he has the savings and salary to do that . He can make sure she’s got a fighting chance if something happens. He took out fucking life insurance years ago, when his wife left him. After he lost his son. It’s all going to his daughter when he dies.

He’s not losing his daughter first.

So he never fucking tells Babs to get off the computer. He hears some of the other parents at the precinct or in the bars talking about how much time their kids spend on the computer and how awful it is, and Gordon’s just glad computers are easier for Babs to deal with than buildings without elevators or ramps.

There’s a lot of coffee shops she can’t get into, now.

There’s dentist offices she can’t get into, now.

So if Bab’s idea of a good time is getting on forums online and talking to strangers, then. Well.

At least she’s anonymous, and those strangers live too far away to ever come and ring the doorbell.

He… he’s honestly not good at looking on the bright side, though. He doesn’t see a lot of bright sides in Gotham. He doesn’t like Gotham, actually.

He kind of hates the place. Hates the rain and how his khakis always damp when he sits down, and there’s never any dry seats at the bus stops. Hates the gloom and how he doesn’t blame all those Gotham kids being on their computers all day with weather like this, with a city like this, with the cigarette butts left in the cracks of sidewalks where not even weeds will grow (and as he thinks it, he flicks ash off the end of his own cig, and misses the flowers that grew out of cracks in Chicago.)

(this city murdered one of his kids and tried to murder the other. It’s dumb luck Barbara’s alive. It’s dumb luck the worst damage is her spine.)

(He doesn’t walk a beat anymore. Not since his promotion, and he’s fucking glad for it. The less time spent on Gotham streets, the better.)

(...)

(but no one says a police officer should stop his job just because it seems overwhelming.)

He doesn’t like to watch the news anymore. He hasn’t for a long time. The politicians are all antichrists and the madmen are misunderstood angels, and the fine line between the two generally just means there’s a political madman with a good reputation that might actually be the antichrist. Gordon knows there’s a God out there, but he’s an alien it seems, and spews lasers from his eyes; same way there’s an underwater city somewhere, but they aren’t part of the UN and they are pissed about it. There’s a whole other world of aliens and martians and women who crush boulders between their fists and mechanical men, but not in Gotham.

There’s only one thing in Gotham, and it’s never been a god.

--

Understandably, Gordon is a bit confused when he sees the report on his desk.

“What the fuck’s a ‘Batman’?”

The guy across from him, Bullock, just lights up his cig-- cigar, not cigarette--and grins like he’s finally heard something funny.

(When Gordon first joined the force, he caught Bullock taking bribes. The only reason Gordon trusts him now is because when Bullock saw a reason to stop taking bribes, he stopped hard , and took some kind of glee in being an honest cop again.)

“Ain’t been watchin’ the news lately, Jim?”

“God no.”

“Hah! You’ve been missin’ out this last year!”

“Yeah, yeah. What’s that got to do with this?”

“Some masked vigilantes runnin’ round the plains got spotted in Gotham last night. Batman an’ Robin. Sure you never heard of ‘em?”

“Positive.”

“You’re missin’ out. Freak’s dragging a kid around with ‘im.”

While Bullock speaks, Gordon glances up to see Bullock’s face twisting into the toothiest grin around his cigar. It looks more like a grimace, when you know him. Some kinda sick amusement. That’s their version of gallows humor here, Gordon supposes, but his own face remains pretty well blank.

He’s saving his disgust for something more shocking.

“Won’t be our problem for long,” Bullock continues, blowing out a heavy cloud of smoke and closing his eyes. “They move on as soon as they’re spotted. By the time they run it on th’ news tonight, they’ll be gone. Might as well trash whoever they brought in or th’ D.A. will throw a fit. Th’ faster they get out, the better.”

Gordon sighs and pushes his glasses up onto his forehead and rubs his face.

He doesn’t understand what ‘whoever they brought in’ means, but he trusts Bullock.

He puts that report aside for later and moves onto the next one.

--

That night, Gordon flicks on the TV in his living room and watches it while the stair lift buzzes behind him--it’s just Babs coming down slowly on the hydraulics they’d gotten installed. It wasn’t a tall staircase, but that meant nothing when you were recovering from months in the hospital with a gunshot wound in your abdomen, your lower body newly paralyzed, and you didn’t want to stay on the ground floor where you’d once been attacked.

The lift hisses while carrying her chair down, but not enough to cover the sound of the news.

“...man and Robin were spotted last night in Gotham City up in Park Row, where the duo stood on the rooftops for long enough for a passerby to get this snapshot before they bounded away! Two store robberies were also allegedly thwarted by the duo last night, though there’s no report if any arrests have been made at this time.”

The police were going over witness reports and the security footage, of course there were no arrests.

“A social media sensation for over a year, Batman and Robin were spotted around cities from the midwest to Northern California, rumors of their deaths followed a vicious backlash after the realization that ‘Robin’ appears to be a young child of between the ages of eleven to fourteen. The Justice League has not responded to requests for comment at this-- ”

The hydraulics stop humming, and Babs wheels her way over to her dad, laptop on her legs and her hair up in a pony tail.

She leans over to kiss his cheek, and Gordon gives his daughter a side-hug in return, and they both grunt with the squeeze.

“You taking it easy tonight?” she asks, leaning back in her chair and nodding towards the TV.

“Eh,” Gordon says, shrugging and looking back at the screen. There was a grainy nighttime picture of the two. And yeah. That was a kid standing there, tall beside a kneeling, dark figure on the rooftop. “Takin’ it easy, maybe, but not relaxing too much.”

“Well, yeah,” Babs says, snorting. “You’re watching GNN.”

“I shoulda watched the election.”

“You shoulda watched the election.”

“Any new good shows I can watch besides the election?”

“Good one’s you’ll like? ” his whiz-kid asks, and he grunts and shrugs in reply. “Netflix has a good documentary out on the prison industrial complex.”

Gordon groans and let his head fall onto the arm of the couch. Babs laughs.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s try you out on Grace and Frankie.”

--

The next cycle of late-night news, Robin and Batman still aren’t gone.

Two days. Okay. They can deal with that.

There weren’t pictures this time--not of the duo--but Gordon knows they were still in the city last night. He knows for sure, and he’s--unsettled, a little bit.

He came to the station the next morning like any other day, opened up his office, and found a gangly pile of limbs behind his desk, under the window.

The gangsters were all still alive, thank god (whatever crimes they’d committed, he was sure it was understandable he’d rather they be tied up alive on his rug than tied up dead on his rug.) They were gagged and bound, and had little pieces of paper stapled to the ropes with lists of crimes and names and injuries.

All of them were wanted criminals. Most of the crimes listed on the papers were already known.

And fuck.

All Gordon could think about while the precinct went into a small civil riot around him was about the man he’d found tied up at his desk five years before, shaking and with a signed confession in his pocket, and how Gordon hadn’t known if he should call for help, or if it was a joke, or if his colleagues would murder him on the spot when they arrived there.

He wasn’t joking about the murder. He didn’t like it when people joked about killer cops and killing other cops. And their families. And anyone else who crossed their path.

(His son’s body hadn’t been recovered. His son lay dead somewhere in the cold dark of Gotham’s water.)

At least he didn’t have a whole precinct to suspect anymore.

By the first shout he’d made when he opened the door, Montoya and Allen were already there, hands on holsters, getting Jim behind them, and inspecting the scene. A moment later Harvey pulled him even further back, scowling and cigar burning acidic in the air.

“The fuck’s going on in here?” Harv asked.

The rest of the day felt lost in a haze of thick smoke.

(Five years ago, Tony Zucco was shaking and tears-all-down-his-face at Gordon’s desk, tied hands-and-feet, piss-stained, and all he would tell them about what happened before they put him away was that he’d met a Man.

Gordon’d dreamed of silhouettes for weeks.

Like the bullseye targets they used. That kind of simple male bathroom-icon shape. A dark figure standing off in the distance over all the murders of the day, like a foreboding god on the horizon.)

--

He went home. Bought a coffee at a café on his way back. Not his usual pitstop. Bought his daughter a coffee too. Frozen. Chocolate.

Gordon’s coffee was hot. It burned when it went down his throat, but it warmed his fingers and his gut until he almost felt human, despite the pouring rain.

He just tried to keep what Harvey said in his mind as he thought about those young thugs found tied up in his office.

They never stay in one place too long .

--

...Batman and Robin didn’t leave.

There were no more blurry photos of them standing over Park Row, and there were no more criminals in Gordon’s office as he walked in to find the window open and the curtains swaying in the early morning chill.

This time they were left outside on the corner.

Someone from the night shift had come out to go for a smoke, then run back inside in a panic; something about hostages tied up outside. She hadn’t had another word for the line of people lying out on the sidewalks, certain they were going to die.

Hostages.

( “It was Batman ,” one of them said. Gordon was on the other side of the glass. Listening to the interrogation. This one was young. Not many offences. By Gotham standard, the handful of breaking-and-entering robberies wasn’t much, but this last time, it’d been at knifepoint--“ I-I thought he was supposed to be gone by now .”)

By day three, their cells were filling up in holding far faster than any of them were used to, and they were running out of space. If things didn’t stop soon, they’d have to release some of the lower-level offenders just to try to make enough room, and without enough thought, that kind of action could spark outrage or break what fragile trust Gordon managed to build with the community. The GNN kept talking, kept repeating takes between election commercials and reports on the Batman Lookalike, because they’d all decided that this couldn’t be the real Batman and Robin, who never stayed in one place. It had to be an imposter duo inspired by heroism and child neglect.

(Regardless of whether or not it was a copycat Batman, Gordon just kept thinking about years ago, and Tony Zucco on his floor talking about how he’d almost been killed. Two days ago, and a line of hostages lying outside their precinct.)

In the end it didn’t really matter who was who, because Gordon’s cells were still filling up. They’d started posting an officer outside the precinct just to find the new drops as fast as they could before hypothermia set in, and when new ones weren’t falling from the fucking sky they’d be found on the roof, now, so--

So Gordon made a journey he always dreaded going on.

Gordon went to the D.A.

They needed trial dates, and they needed trial dates fast.

--

Harvey Dent was, overall, a… good guy.

…

Gordon was doing his best to be generous. Because it was apparent to him that Harvey Dent did really believe he was doing the right thing, and that he was taking the right path to do it.

But it was also apparent to Gordon that they did not see Eye to Eye on some things.

But, fortunately, neither he nor Harvey liked to drink.

It was the funniest things that could bond people. Like a family history of alcoholism.

(They didn’t bond too deep over that.)

Gordon got up to Harvey’s floor, got offered coffee from a private coffee machine in the waiting room right outside the office, and damn it he’d had a long day so he accepted that fucking coffee.

“Harvey,” he said, drinking. “We need trial dates.”

Gordon’s thinking Harvey Dent, the man with the biggest hateboner against crime in Gotham, would be thrilled to have quicker trial dates. But Harvey Dent, a man who has barbells in his office for when he just wants to lift weights when he’s tired of being an attorney , just frowns over the rim of his coffee cup and says, “No fucking shit.”

“A batty man’s already gathering all the evidence,” Gordon says, feeling the headache already coming on. But Harvey’s young, even though a lawyer shouldn’t really need it spelled out for him. “So unless you’re spending your late nights in a cape yourself, it’s time to do the late nights.”

He can’t deny that he’s a little bit watching for a response, but to be fair: Harvey Dent has the largest hateboner for crime in Gotham, and lifts weights when he’s bored .

Gordon doesn’t know where young folks these days got the energy.

Harvey just stiffens, glares, and starts, “I would never-- ”

Gordon drinks his coffee, pretty sure Harvey had at least thought about it since seeing the news. Two copycats is two too many.

“Yeah, yeah, you wouldn’t have brought a kid,” he says.

Harvey’s hackles go down.

--

Trial dates aren’t just a Gotham problem. In fact, they’re something of a US-wide problem. The constitution sets trial dates as at least 160 days after arrest, just so people can’t rot in jail for years without ever being proven guilty. Except that’s exactly what’s happening, and with the sudden felon influx, the jails are even more bloated with people who’ve never even been convicted. They were already running out of cells, and now they’re just crammin’ ‘em in like sardines.

People like Dent’s careers are based on keeping people in or out out of jail.

People like Gordon’s are made on arrests.

Gordon’s sitting on a kettle of jaded and crooked cops trying to get extra bucks between writing up real tickets, and Dent’s got a boiling pot of the young, idealistic, and easily-bribed, and they simply don’t have enough judges and lawyers to go through the crimes in Gotham. There’s too many bodies and too few people to process them. Dent’s lawyers don’t want to take cases they’ll obviously lose and take a hit on their careers. Gordon doesn’t want control over his precincts taken away by sheer inability to handle the flood. Neither of them want misdemeanors trapped in jail with felons and made to sit for three or more years before a trial.

So.

So they have to hash some shit out, between them. Commissioner of Police and Gotham County District Attorney.

They don’t have enough public defenders--lawyers who are paid to just fucking defend cases and don’t have to worry about losing so much since they’re already on payroll. They need to rotate prosecutors on the shaky cases that look like losses to not ruin anybody. They need more Judges to oversee cases. They need to lower bail and parole costs so they might get some bail and parole money, since Gotham celebrities are more interested in paying individual cops as they’re caught--not in paying the department. Hopefully bail’ll open up some space, too. They invest in ankle tags for the least violent confirmed offenders; the misdemeanor cases that are too old for juvie. Dent says he’ll talk with the judges about trying to find community service punishments for the tagged ones.

The ‘Batman and Robin’ criminals aren’t offered the option of bail, but that’s mostly for their own protection.

It's… expensive. Not as bad as it could be, but both he and Dent are trying to manage their budgets, and they're trying to petition the mayor for funds, but the mayor is in the mob’s pocket so the mayor is the only one who doesn't have to give a shit about money right now--

They get the first of the Batman and Robin criminals on trial. A mobster.

Gordon doesn't know who they're trying to send a message to, but someone tries to shoot Dent right there.

Right in the courtroom.

--

…

Jim Gordon waits on a rooftop. It's lit by a cigarette and a flood lamp. Overall, it's pretty well lit.

Beside him is a can of yellow spray paint. Washable. The rain will take it off in a day or so.

But right now, there's no rain, and Gordon is waiting and smoking.

He'd drawn the symbol on the roof an hour ago. The paint’s dried by now, but he still walks over it carefully when he gets up to stretch his legs; treats it like it's still wet. The flood lamp lights it up well. If someone's flinging themselves over rooftops at this time of night anywhere near the precinct, they'll see it.

It's cold, though. It's cold, and the floodlight is bright, but doesn't offer much warmth, even when Gordon stands right next to it. The wind’s going at his coat and his beard has frosted tips on it by midnight.

And Harvey Dent is in the hospital.

…

Gordon hears the footsteps before anything else, and turns to find a man-shaped shadow behind him.

…

The longer he looks, the funnier the outfit looks under the floodlight. But Gordon’s not laughing.

“This yours?” the man who is trying to look like Batman grumbles, pointing down to the painted bat.

“Yeah,” Gordon says, and let's his cig fall to the ground, and then steps on it. “I was hopin’ you'd notice it, actually.”

“Is there something you need, Commissioner?” the wannabe hero says, and if Gordon didn't know better, he'd say the guy almost sounded something like eager.

“Yeah,” Gordon says, and lights another cig, and prepares to go for his gun at the first sign of violence. “I'm gonna need you to get the fuck out of my city.”

--

It isn't Jim Gordon’s fault.

He never knew Gotham’s favorite son had finally, finally come home.

Jim’s own son never would.

Years and years ago: his infant son, James Jr., thrown off a bridge by someone who was supposed to be Jim’s senior officer.

This city ate his son. It tried to eat his daughter.

James Gordon hates Gotham more than any man on Earth could hate a place, but he still lives in it.

He wants to think Gotham can get better, but first he has to get some sort of order established.

Batman is fucking up any sense of order this city ever had.

Happier (Shalaska) - Chachkee

A/N: Hello! Im another first time submitter here, and I got this idea after a friend told me to listen to Happier by Ed Sheeran. I couldn’t stop associating the song with Shalaska so I wrote this out. I’m not sure if it’s as good as all the other wonderful fics here but I tried, let me know what you think. Thank you! :)

“After all that money, can we get back together?”

It was nearly one in the morning when Sharon decided to go to the local cafe shop back in Pittsburgh. She’d been mulling over what had happened with Alaska in Houston two days before and she hadn’t gotten any sleep. Right after the gig, Sharon lost all self-control and tried to confess her feelings for Alaska. After what she said on stage which she tried to pass off as jokes, Sharon couldn’t take it anymore and needed Alaska to know she meant what she said. Alaska, knowing what Sharon was about to do, stopped Sharon before she could get a word out. “Don’t Sharon, your fiancé is here.” “But-“ “Sharon, please, if it was any other situation by all means go ahead but you are engaged to someone else. Think about what you really want before you get us both in trouble.” Sharon saw the desperate look in Alaska’s eyes in the split-second before she turned away and left Sharon alone in the dressing room. In the two days that followed, Sharon had been avoiding Carl the whole time, locking herself up in their guest room and simply thinking about what it would mean to be with Alaska again. They’ve both grown so much since they separated and she knew that things would definitely be different if they tried again. They were both older, wiser and most importantly, more sober than they were back then. They’ve gotten used to the fame and the fans. She knows getting back together will be difficult and she won’t have as much privacy as she has with Carl but lately she’s been thinking how it would be so worth it just to have Alaska wrapped around her arms again; to hold her close and have her whisper “I love you, Noodles” one more time. Sharon thought back to all the times she got to spend with Alaska after they finally mended their friendship. The beginning was hard for the both of them. As Sharon spun the coffee cup she held in her hand, waiting for it to cool down, she wondered if she’d have the same relationship that she had with Alaska now if they didn’t have to spend so much time together. She was grateful that they did so many shows with each other. It was during those times that they took the steps to get closer again. When Sharon finally felt comfortable enough in their friendship, she’d always bring Alaska up and make comments about their relationship. The fans loved it and it gave her a way to let out her feelings. She knew how easy it was to let people think she was only kidding. The thing is though, she had a feeling that Alaska knew they weren’t just jokes. Alaska never participated in it, choosing instead to laugh it off and talk about something else. To any other person it would seem that it was because Alaska was over it. But Sharon knew better, she saw the way Alaska pulled herself together before she spoke. No one else could see it, but Sharon could. She knew Alaska all too well, even after all the time they spent apart. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them. Sharon took a sip of her coffee, the bitterness reminded her of Carl. She knew what she had to do if she ever wanted to get Alaska back again but she feels so bad for stringing Carl along. They were engaged for crying out loud. What was she even thinking agreeing to marry him so fast? She was with Alaska longer than she’s been with Carl and already they were planning to get married? Sometimes her old habit of sabotaging herself just wouldn’t leave her alone. And it wasn’t even that she didn’t love Carl, she did, at some point she did. But there was his excessive drinking that fueled his anger issues and their constant arguing. The situation reminded her a lot of her and Alaska’s old relationship, but this time she didn’t want to get drunk and get high all the time. She told Carl as much but he never took her seriously and kept trying to sway her back. Then there’s the mess he keeps creating on social media. She thought it was justifiable at first because of all the people telling him to fuck off so the royal couple could reunite. She let him lash out at them even though she knew it wasn’t the best idea. But it just never stopped, anytime he saw someone on twitter disagree with him, he’d fire back not caring that those people were usually underage girls. Things only got worse when screenshots of him saying horrible things about Alaska got leaked. The fans were furious and so was Sharon which resulted to them not talking for two days. How could he say such terrible things to one of the most important people in Sharon’s life? Alaska didn’t even do anything to him. But guilt seeped in- she was with Carl, not Alaska. Maybe if she didn’t gush over Alaska so much, Carl wouldn’t need to be jealous. It was her fault, she told herself. Sharon didn’t want to lose Carl then, she didn’t want to be alone. She was heartbroken when Alaska left and instead of taking her share of responsibility, she ignored it and turned to her vices. Carl was there with her, he was there to make it easier for her. With Carl she didn’t have to deal with being compared to another queen and be bombarded with dumb questions like “who’s the better queen in the relationship?” With Carl she didn’t have to exert a lot of effort to be together, she could always have him with her whenever she wanted. Back when she was with Alaska, they hardly got to spend time with each other unless they were booked together at a gig. It also helped that Carl could do her special effects make-up and help her create her costumes. But Sharon wasn’t happy. And with that, Sharon realized that she’d been taking the easy way out. For years, she’d been repressing her feelings for Alaska, calling Lasky her best friend when really all she wanted was for her to be her girlfriend with a penis again. She was too scared to take a risk, too scared to handle difficult situations. Sharon decided she’d had enough of being scared. She was the goddamned queen of Halloween and she was in love with Alaska Thunderfuck- after all this time she was still the one. She was still her soulmate. Sharon hurriedly tried to finish her coffee, she wanted to get home and finally end things with Carl. He wouldn’t be happy and she knew he’d want to fight but she was so tired of living a lie and feeling like a fraud. She had to end things with Carl and try to make it work with Alaska. If nothing else, at least she can say she tried. Sharon was about to leave the cafe when the lines of a song caught her attention. “Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain’t nobody need you like I do” This wasn’t normally the kind of song Sharon would listen to but she stayed in her seat, trying to understand the words. “I know that there’s others that deserve you, but my darling I am still in love with you.” Those words hit home with Sharon. A little dumbfounded, she sat back just taking in the rest of the song. When it finished, she took out her phone from her jeans’ pockets and looked it up. Happier, it was called. Without thinking twice, Sharon bought the song and listened to it on repeat the whole car ride home. ______________________________________________________________________ It was10 in the morning, Sharon was sitting on her rocking chair on the patio of her home. When Sharon got home earlier, Carl was waiting for her in the living room. After asking her where she’d been and why she’d been so distant, Sharon finally told him she wanted to break-up. Everything just came pouring out of her. Carl was furious but deep down he knew it was going to happen eventually. He knew Sharon’s jokes about Alaska always had something more beneath the surface. She was always bringing her up in conversations she wasn’t part of even when she wasn’t around. Somehow Sharon found a way to bring Alaska into things and their relationship apparently, was no exception. Carl didn’t see the need to fight for something he clearly couldn’t do anything about. He knew it was pointless to stay in a one-sided relationship, one where he’d always be on the losing end. So he packed his bags and left, but not without a few choice words for Sharon and Alaska, words that Sharon didn’t care to repeat. Sharon took out her phone again and texted Alaska S: i miss you Alaska didn’t reply immediately, she must be busy thought Sharon. She sat there waiting until three dots appeared on the screen. A: You have Carl. S: not anymore,,, A: what do you mean?? A: Sharon what did you do?? Sharon was typing as fast as she could. S: i broke up w him S: i couldnt do it anymore lasky,,, S: i cared about him but i care about someone else more S: can i see you? S: please? Sharon didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she saw Alaska typing again. A: oh A: I didn’t think you’d actually do it A: I’m in LA but you’re always welcome here noodles, you know that Sharon let out the breath she was holding, leaned back, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She was finally getting a chance to make things right. This time she wasn’t going to mess it up. Sharon sent a quick text to Alaska telling her she’ll be in LA by nightfall. She was about to go inside when she remembered the song from earlier. She went on her instagram where she already posted a photo of her and Alaska from the Houston gig, captioning it bf4ever, trying to be coy. This time she picked out an old photo of her and Alaska that she had saved because she didn’t want to let it go. It was the two of them out of drag with Sharon sleeping on a couch, her head on Alaska’s lap. Under the photo, she wrote “I know I was happier with you.”

i’ve been awake since i woke up at three in the morning. i’ve just been thinking all of my thoughts over, and i don’t really have anyone to tell them to so here i am telling tumblr them. i keep telling myself that i’m okay. that maybe if i just ignore my thoughts, the problem will go away. but i also know that they won’t go away, that they will and are continuing to grow. my hand are shaking while i’m writing this, that’s how much i don’t like opening up. telling someone what i feel scares me, i’d get if they were shaking if i was telling someone in person but online? i guess i never realized how bad i’ve gotten. last night i gathered a bunch of pills and took them. about 35 maybe? and then i took a lot of melatonin. i’m a small person, supposedly more than one is supposed to kill me. but it hasn’t, not the first time i tried, or the third time. not this time either. i’m just going to be completely honest, i don’t know if i’m happy or sad that i’m still here. it’s been a couple hours since i woke up, and i still feel empty. i want to feel something, anything, but nothing is coming to me. i used to be afraid of what death would be like. now i don’t fear it, i find myself waking towards it. i don’t know what life after death is, but then again no one that knows is able to tell us. i know what i want to happen after death is, but i try not to give myself false hope. i don’t like wanting things that i tell myself are not achievable. i’ve been a dreamer for a long time, i used to always stay up late reading. it think it’s cool, all the endless possibilities that can happen, its like you’re experiencing everything without all the consequences. or you’re experiencing things that aren’t possible. being a dreamer isn’t bad, but i guess i got caught up in all of my fantasies. but they weren’t goals because some of the things i wanted and still want are impossible to achieve. in the end, i feel really motivated, sad, or guilty, and sometimes all at once. there are things that i want that are selfish but some people are able to get. sometimes i find myself wanting to be famous. being a singer, actress, or social media ‘influencer’ appeals to me, but i don’t necessarily want it for the money, (although that would be a good addition). i want to make an impact on the world and people. we all look up to people, and i think it would be amazing to impact a big group of people. i been part of army for a little less than a month, but they’ve already helped me and millions of people because of their music and personality. i’d love to use my talent or a cool hobby and make it my job while being able to help anyone that’s going through a rough spot in their lives. i know how it feels to hate yourself, the world, and to constantly doubt your own abilities and worth because i still find myself doing it. but being in a fandom has helped me a lot. i also find myself wanting things to be real. just silly things like wishing things that happen in a book were real, or just me wanting to change how i look, or just wanting things that happen in a dystopian book to happen to me. or wanting to have someones room, clothing style, etc. of course i’d like world piece, and everyone to be happy, everyone to be healthy, and all of those things too. basically, i wish for a lot of things that i probably won’t end up doing. it’s okay to want things once in a while, but it’s obviously not healthy for me to tell myself i’ll only be happy if all of my wishes come true. and it also doesn’t help when i don’t have any urge to live. i have no idea the exact day or month of when i began to hate myself and started to loser will to live. i just remember one of my friends at the time saying i had a unibrow (in reality it was just hairs that were in between my eyebrows since i had never gotten my eyebrows done back then), but i guess that’s when i began to lose my self confidence, but i don’t think i had much to begin with. now, i’m very insecure about myself and lack self confidence and self esteem. it’s been like this for a few years. i’ve grown used to it, and i honestly don’t remember now being in this low state. i’ve never been one to open up to anyone about my feelings or anything like that. i was more of an independent kid growing up, and i just didn’t feel the need to ask for too much help, so i don’t do it today. something about it scares me, but i can never figure out why. whenever i think about why i’m so scared of asking for help, or opening up, or relationships, it’s almost like the answer is just out of reach. i’m adopted, so i don’t if subconsciously i’m afraid of being abandoned when sharing my feelings, or if it’s another deeper meaning. it’s aggravating for me though. i often contradict my thoughts, like i’m having a war between myself with a lot of things. for example i know i should want to get better, learn to love myself, enjoy life, and die from natural causes. but the urge to get better, the little bit of hope i once held onto isn’t here anymore. it’s gone. last night i was ready, i downed the pills before going to bed, listening to my playlist on spotify, and this is really messed up but i was looking forward to a ‘new beginning’ or life after death. i’ve done this a couple of times, probably once every year, so maybe 3 or 4 times now. people either believe suicide is selfish or isn’t, but you never truly understand what it’s like unless you’ve attempted or been in a suicidal state of mind, although that’s just my opinion. here are my thoughts about attempting suicide, because i have tried (just an opinion, i’m neither wrong or right): all of the negative thoughts that go through your mind are see never-ending, and in my case i tried to hard to hide it. you should never keep these types of thoughts to yourself and ask for help, but unfortunately i’m so scared of asking for help and i can never find the courage to do so. some people feel they don’t have anyone to talk to, can’t find the courage to do so, or maybe they really don’t, but i believe that there will always be someone that’s willing to listen. i’m aware that i can confide in my parents, aunts, school counselor, teacher, if i need to ask for help. but it’s so hard for me to even think about telling someone all oft emotions without me automatically telling myself that i’ll be fine on my own. and even if i suddenly have been motivated or am hit with the courage to do so, i chicken out. i almost told my parents about how i thought i had depression, attempted suicidal, and had very low self confidence, because i was trying to make them understand why i couldn’t continue to play or try out for a sport. i ended up writing a google doc about everything that i had been holding back for about 2 years, because i don’t think i would be able to tell them everything face to face without backing out or having a break down. whenever i think about telling someone, usually it’s an internet friend or my parents, i always ask myself how much am i going to tell them. is it gonna be the whole suicidal/depression story of how i’ve been in that state for one or two years and how i don’t think i can handle it alone, or will it be me having low self esteem and hating myself and thinking i have depression, or will it just be me lacking self confidence. i usually don’t want to tell anyone the whole story, not only is it a lot of information because i’d have to explain the start of it and everything from the beginning until present day, but i don’t want to overwhelm them. i know it’s a lot of information and if someone told all of that to me at once i’d definitely feel overwhelmed. if i’m ranting to internet friends, i’ll usually say what i am currently going through, because i also don’t want to overwhelm them, or for them to worry about my safety too much. i would never rant to my irl friends, one because i only have one really close friend, and another close friend, but our friendship isn’t really ‘serious’. we’re really sarcastic, and have a a good sense of humor and are always cracking jokes, so usually we don’t take each other seriously. they’ve still shared secrets and some deep thoughts, but we usually cope with humor. i’ve known them since grade school, but like i said, i don’t really like opening up to anyone, especially if they’re my best friends. i feel awful, but i wouldn’t want them to treat me differently, or tell my parents. i still shares my thoughts about school, and we’ve told some of our breakdown stories, or small opinions, but we don’t really talk about dee stuff too often, and we’re confortable that way. i guess im more comfortable with my internet friends because one you usually don’t judge each other off of looks or petty stuff like that (not that my friends do, but it’s more genuine i guess that way). anyways asking for help is just hard for me. i’ve become more of an introvert growing up, because as a kid i wasn’t too focused on what people thought of me. but i’m a perfectionist, which impacts me sometimes. i don’t really like raising my hand in class because i don’t want to get the answer wrong, and it’s also the fear of failure, so i don’t really participate. as for being extroverted, i’ve lost a lot of my self confidence and self esteem. people see me as the shy girl, but i’m really loud and crazy once people get to know me. i think a part of it is just not connecting with people that well and then i’m not very good at starting a conversation and i’ll practice what i’ll say in my head but then the opportunity usually passes. and like i said before (did i?) i find myself contradicting my thoughts. i’ve gotten so used to changing my opinion, views, beliefs, or just personality to fit in better with people that most of the time i’ll find myself subconsciously wondering if i should say or even think to myself certain things. like i’ll hear myself in my head say “what will they think if you say that” or “don’t say that, that’s controversial” or just me deciding wether i should or shouldn’t say/think that. i guess u can see how much i care about what other people think of me since i tell myself to not think of certain things, which is really stupid because no one’s gonna read my mind. rip i’ve gotten so off track. i was talking about my thoughts about suicide. from what i was saying earlier, most people have people that they can talk to or ask for help, it doesn’t matter if you’re close with or not because i’m sure there’s someone out there that will listen. but it’s hard for most, and i usually don’t. people always say ask for help, that it’s okay, or that it’ll get better if u ask for help, which i know and i tell myself that i need to if i’m gonna get better, or that i should just try, but fear of change usually stops me. i don’t want to be monitored closely, babied, and be treated like i’ll break at any moment. i know that in order to get better, things will have to change because if they stay the same, that won’t improve anything. but i don’t want to be constantly asked if i’m okay, or for my cousins, aunts, relatives, and friends and adults to view me as weak, fragile, and broken. even if i may be some of those things, i think it would just anger me more. for some odd reason i don’t like when people show a lot of affection to me/praise me. i obviously want people to say good things to me, and compliment me, but i don’t really like when they say it? i know that doesn’t make sense because those statements literally contradict each other. i bet there’s some psychological reason, but i don’t really feel like researching about that. from what i know, part of me doesn’t like hearting that from family members. i get that they want me to know that they’re proud of me/love me, or whatever they’re complimenting me for, but because they’re family i kinda just ignore what they say? i don’t show it, but it’s like your grandparents telling you you’re pretty/handsome, they praise you for anything and they’ll support you, but that’s because they’re your grandparents (i know that not all grandparents are the same but this is for my family and stereotypically) and i just don’t really take any compliments to heart from anyone because i don’t believe them, or i feel like they’re just being nice. which is sometimes true but on the other half that’s just my self confidence not being here. i think all of those pills are kicking in and that’s why my hands are really gittery, not bc i’m nervous like i said. damn this is like a full ass essay, i just go into big rant mode or i don’t say anything at all, no in between. but it’s fine because no ones reading this, is mostly just doing this to get my feelings out. is it weird that i talk to myself, i pretend like i’m a youtuber talking to a camera when i’m alone because i feel like i’m telling someone which makes me feel better about myself. lmao, okay i’m almost done with this. in all, i think suicide is both selfish and not? i know that some people think that no one will miss them, which i somewhat feel. i know that my family will be sad, but i think eventually things will move forward. believe me, the last thing i want to do is hurt anyone. if anything, i realized i’m too empathetic, because i know that i’m not alone on feeling like this which makes me really sad. no one deserves to feel this way. wether that’s just being sad and only temporary, or being depressed because they can grow and control your life and consume your thoughts, which impacts your decisions. for me, i don’t know what i am. i know that i’m suicidal, because i’ve tried to kill myself, and i had/have suicidal thoughts. i don’t like self diagnosing, because i don’t want to offend anyone that has professionally been diagnosed. but i’ve taken a few quizzes online and i think it’s just pretty apparent to say that there’s something messed up with the way i think. i used to be afraid of death. i was better back then, and i had little things that were keeping me alive. fear, idol (tom holland, which also shows you that no matter how big, small, or stupid the reason you’re hesitant to end your life, it’s still important). right now, i welcome death. there are the little things that i’ll miss/that i’m sad i’m leaving behind. i’ll miss my family, the friends i have, and all of the people that i look up to. if i don’t make it till the end of today or in a few days, weeks, or years i ever get tired of fighting and i succeed, i hope my family will stay strong, i hope my friends will move on, and i hope everyone that i have met, talked to, seen, and everyone in the world will do what they love and be happy. maybe that happiness won’t stay for too long but i hope it’ll always be there. and i hope bts continues to make amazing albums, breaks even more records, and continue their close friendship with one another. i recommend listening to their music, it’s beautiful written, sung, and preformed by seven amazing members. i don’t know where i will end up. if whatever greater being or rule that has made the universe, is nice enough to allow what you believe in happen. whether that be going to heaven, being someone’s guardian angel and looking over them, or being reborn. but if i ever do figure out the purpose of living, if i do make it and continue to fight, and make it, then i hope i can look back on this and see how i grew as a person. i’m sorry if someone is actually reading and has read all of this, because it’s only just a bunch of what i’m feeling and probably doesn’t make sense. damn this took me about an hour to finish this, time wasted? this is very hypocritical of me to say, which annoys me when others do it, but if you’re reading this stay safe. stay happy, stay alive. be stronger than me, and fight a little longer. for your friends, family, or future family, hold onto what’s making you stay. you were loved, you are loved, and you will be loved.

I got lucky yesterday. I had so much i had to do-therapy, daycare, picking up my old car from the repair shop, setting up for a family dinner, cleaning up. I was so busy i didnt have time to really think about you.

I showered for the first time in a while. I tried to eat again even though eating makes me nauseated. Now and then my chest bubbles up and i cant calm down.

I wanted to be alone but my brother came home for a visit and now were both sleeping in the beds up in the attic, and i cant stand it.

I think my moms started to know whats going on. Shes caught me cry once and just brushed it off. She knows i havent been sleeping lately. Shes probably heard me cry in the attic.

I can never get a full nights sleep. It hurts me to know i teasingly said 'they always ask wyd, never how u doin' and the next morning you asked 'how you?' But then i never asked you.

What if you really werent stressed and you really just got annoyed of me? It hurts to think that way. I really love you.

If we ever get back together i want to tell you as soon as possible without it seeming creepy. I want to tell you all the crazy things thats happened that i didnt get to tell you at this time. I want to send you all the funniest memes ive saved just in case you returned.

Its been a week since we last hung out, since i last saw you, when i thought we were fine and happy. You held my hand while you were laying on the carpet, and i laid on the sofa. I love you so much.

It hurt when you told your old coworker friend that we were done so easily after a few days. Im sorry i went off too many times in such a small time. I cant stand the thought of losing you. Im sorry i hurt you. Im so sorry i wasnt there for you.

Two days from now itll be a week since we broke up.

My sadness about us not celebrating our anniversary is gone, i know its not realistic for us to get back together in time and be okay. I still want you to be there for my birthday, but i can accept if you wont. I want to be there for yours though. I dont know why but i also miss your parents, your family, the house they have in virginia, your pets. Please dont tell me youve already told then were done too.

Im scared im started to look obsessed. Im starting to look like the crazy ex you broke up with because they started to pester you with love, and now they keep tryig to get you back but the more they do the more youre repelled to do so. I pleaded twice. And then i initiated no contact. I want you to come to me.

I was real upset and confused when you said you wanted a break from dating. You wanted to be friends. I was heart broken. It felt like the end. You broke up with me before you said you needed a break from dating. So was this a break or a break up? Please come back to me. Im so lost and confused.

No contact is much easier than it is for me to anticipate when youll text me and what youll text. My constant anxiety left, and comes back in waves. Its hard to go on social media so ive given that a break.

I saw photos of us because i forgot i could see my saved snaps on snapchat. It feels awful inside. I dont wanna look those for a while.

I cant believe people go through this a lot. I want him back but hes talked about his last girlfriend before and because they had nothing in common and was fighting during their last encounter he decided he was done. But it sounds so easy for him to do. Is breaking up such an easy thing for people to do? Is this really a solution to your problem?

If it really is i mustve done something so bad it broke the camels back. Please come back.

7.22.18

Today was honestly such a great day. I'm gonna be honest but I've been struggling with my body image a lot recently and my sexuality and ive been exploring that more and have been taking a lot of sexually explicit or provocative pictures and I want to keep them but the fear of someone seeing my phone and the shame that that would bring always makes me immediately delete them. Ive been exploring showing underboob, shots from underneath with just a thong on or a crop top with no bra so you can see my boobs underneath and how "naughty" and "sexy" they are. Ive been reading a lot of articles on the best angles, poses, and pictures to send your loved one and tried them out. I found wearing my stiletto heals made everything 10x sexier. Ive been looking into erect nipples, orgasms, being turned on, and even going so far as to ask some of my friends for their favorite physical features that turn them on sexually. Im so glad they weren't weirded about my question. It was actually really interesting to hear what they had to say though! I thought i would feel self conscious if my own body parts didn't match up but it evolved into a genuine curiosity! But yeah, even last night. I was trying to pleasure myself and experience an orgasm by caressing my own breasts and playing with my nipples and in the end, it didn't work. I think a part of me did still feel shame for trying it at all that i couldn't just let go and relax. But today during service, I felt kinda called out when p william mentioned how instead of going deeper into God we go deeper into our sin. And thats what i did last night and was fully aware of it! I knew that if I tried to give myself an orgasm, I was only going deeper into my sin. But I just had to know. I had to understand and fit in and pleasure myself in that way. And it didn't work anyway. But at church today, I got on my knees and prayed and reflected and honestly, i havent even been making an effort to read the Word of God daily. Not at all. And I should be especially bc my faith should be rooted in the Word! But I don't. I don't even try. I stopped making excuses that im too busy bc I know im not. I just don't even try anymore. I think theres a lot of things that I need to figure out right now. I think a part of me knew that what i was doing was wrong and there was definitely a shame that i felt and knew that i would have to confront and let go of if i did come to God with it. But even in just the past few days, I've been able to go deeper and learn so much about people within the church and it's been really amazing! And I think I'm really starting to see the value of Christ centered relationships. I've just been kinda letting my sister do her own thing recently and not making as much of an effort to incorporate God into it and i do think it's because my own relationship hasn't been very solid lately. Who am i to preach the gospel if i can't even do it myself? I think I've also been very quick to judge recently and I need to stop it and come back to God and be more understanding. I've been so quick go try and fit in or be cool and judge jenny for forcing people into positions for VBS or judge jeff and hennie for just seeing VBS as work instead of an opportunity to serve the kids. And I really have no right to judge, yknow? Like honestly. Who am i to make any negative opinion when I myself havent had the right heart as of late. im really not anyone that has any right to do so. I want to be more humble and honest with God and try harder to actively pursue Him and get away from my sin. I am sorry God. But man, when "From the Inside Out" started playing, I was just reminded of the weight and meaning behind the song. yknow? It starts with, "A thousand times I've failed still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again, I'm caught in your grace." And it's so true! And i think i have some repenting to do but more than that, i want to think about what I can do from here. I do want to be more intentional and honest and genuine with my relationships. I want to live my life out like Christ and be more active in bringing my friends to church and doing a better job at investing and sharing the gospel! I'm definitely so inspired by sam and how hes constantly trying to reach out to people and bring them out! I always think about when I had a similar revelation and how's so young but who am I to look down on him? Ive lost that hope and passion and I should be actively looking to regain it instead of looking down on him for actually doing something! But yeah, I also met jenny and spent some more time with ivan today and it was really great to spend time with them both! After that, I taught VBS and jiwoon was a huge help as always and I am hoping to grow closer to her as well. I know it's awkward between her and jason but I think they do both have good hearts and I want to take note of that. Then, i played volleyball and found out that I really do SUCK lol. I actually felt pretty bad bc i felt like I was weighing the team down but I'm sure with practice i'll get better. They made me into a meme LOL. I just cant be afraid to just go for the ball! I know it was my fault a lot and I dont blame my teammates at all. I just need to practice some more is all! I also got to talk to songbee again and chase some kids around the church which was really nice! I felt bad that I wasnt being more intentional with chelsea and jason and I was worried that they were judging me for not reaching out to the newcomers or making everyone feel welcome. And I wanted to defend myself but instead tried to bite my tongue and just accept it bc it was true. I couldve been doing a better job at reaching out instead of having fun and playing volleyball. But the question never arose anyay so it was fine. Then we joined everyone else at Jenny's place for the BBQ and it was really great! All the college kids got to sit and talk about different things at first and then slowly the adults joined as well and we got to learn more about them too! We talked a lot about different characteristics of generations and perspectives and explained the different values in social media and our future career goals. I got to learn so much about everyone and I feel super blessed! And finally, I asked the question. Finally. I was in the car with Chelsea and Jason and finally asked about their family and they were surprisingly open to sharing! I do really want to grow deeper in my relationships with them. And i hope that we can. Especially bc I'm running out of time with them both. I dont want to regret it when it's too late. I am hoping to share my experience with my family growing up as well in the near future but I also don't want to force the conversation. Im trying to stop bragging and telling people what I do and instead to just do it with a servant heart bc I genuinely care about them and only want the best for them. In conclusion, thank you so much for blessing me with such an awesome day today, Lord. I don't need to always be right or say something. Sometimes it's just enough to listen and let people know that youre there for them.

Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian

Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian, Walt Hollywood Pictures Celebrities.

Watch Latest Celebrity News, New Hollywood Celebrities Coming Out, Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian.

Hollywood Celebrities Official Latest Story Celebrity News For Kids all Celebrities of HollywoodToon Studios is an American animation studio which creates direct-to-video and occasional theatrical animated feature films. The studio is a division of Walt Hollywood Animation Studios, with both being part of The Walt Hollywood Studios itself a division of The Walt Hollywood Company. The studio has produced 47 feature films, beginning with DuckTales the Celebrity: Treasure of the Lost Lamp in 1990; its most recent feature film is Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast in 2015.

Can you watch Hollywood Celebrities anywhere without Internet?

Downloading a Celebrity from the Hollywood Celebrities Anywhere app saves the video file onto your device so you can watch it without an Internet connection. You will need to be connected to the Internet to download your Celebrity. Once you have finished downloading, you can watch your downloaded Celebrities offline and on the go.

How can I watch Celebrities on my phone without using data?

Download videos to your Android device, iPhone, or iPad 1. Make sure your device is connected to Wi-Fi or your mobile network. 2. Open the Google Play Celebrities & TV app . 3. Tap Menu Library. 4. Next to the Celebrity or TV episode you’d like to download, touch the download icon.

What companies are owned by Hollywood?

Hollywood/ABC Television Group. Hollywood/ABC Television Group operates Hollywood’s broadcast television, cable television and radio businesses. ESPN, Inc. Walt Hollywood Parks & Resorts U.S., Inc. Lucasfilm Ltd. Marvel Entertainment, LLC.

More Celebrity News ►►

Taylor Swift wore a snakeskin backpack on National Snake Day and Swifties lost their minds. They also took the opportunity to bark at Kim Kardashian. Does anyone else smell the pettiness in the air?

Taylor Swift was spotted wearing a snakeskin Kate Spade backpack in New York City today while also clad in a custom romper made from the same fabric as one of the outfits she wears in her “Look What You Made Me Do” music video all on the two year anniversary of National Snake Day aka the day Kim Kardashian dragged Taylor on Twitter for dragging Kanye.

In case you need a refresher on what happened, two years ago Kim K tweeted – “Wait it’s legit National Snake Day?!?!? They have holidays for everybody, I mean everything these days.” She tweeted this because she was upset about Taylor painting Kanye as a bad guy for calling her a bitch in his song Famous where he says – “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.” According to Taylor, she never gave him permission to call her a bitch and requested to hear the song before it was completed but allegedly she never heard it. Therefore everyone started to come for Kanye and he was deemed the bad guy for hurting Taylor. So because Kim was sick of everyone demonizing her husband for air quotes disrespecting Taylor without her permission, Kim posted receipts of a private phone call on Snapchat between Kanye and Taylor in which it sounded as though Taylor approved of the lyrics. Aka she wanted the world to know what really happened.

Since then, Taylor has returned to the spotlight using the “snake” label to her advantage. It’s been used to promote her tour and in tons of imagery and props in the production. She even took it as far as to make a statement onstage during her stop in Arizona saying QUOTE – “You might be wondering why there are so many snakes everywhere [on stage], huh? A couple of years ago, someone called me a snake on social media and it caught on … and I went through some really low times for a while because of it. I wanted to send a message to you guys that if someone uses name-calling to bully you on social media, and even if a lot of people jump on board with it, that doesn’t have to defeat you. It can strengthen you instead.”

Now that I’ve caught you up to speed, let’s get back to Taylor wearing the snakeskin backpack on the two year anniversary of her dragging. Fans have flocked to Twitter to voice their thoughts. One person wrote – “Taylor wearing a snake backpack two years after being called a snake by the internet 2 years ago is the power move we all needed.” Others took the opportunity to take jabs at Kim K writing – “Today marks 2 years since Kim’s infamous tweet, but I just found out she didn’t even tweet it on the actual correct National snake day, rats can’t get anything right. #TaylorSwiftWonParty.” Another said – “#KimApologizeToTaylor you shamed a woman for doing nothing but living her own life and many death threats and online bullying ‘jokes’ ensued. As a grown woman you should apologize for causing the hate that taylor swift has been receiving from late 2017 to present day.”

OK. Im gonna leave it at that. I’m gonna stay out of this, but I think it’s safe to say that no one was “innocent” in this situation. Anywho, what do you guys think about Taylor wearing a snakeskin backpack on the two year anniversary of being called a snake? Also what do you think about the hashtags that were started including #KimApologizeToTaylor and #TaylorSwiftWonParty. Adorable. Sound off in the comment section below. I’m your host Drew Dorsey. Thanks for watching! Please Click to the right to watch another new Video and don’t forget to subscribe to our channels.

For More Clevver Visit: There are 2 types of people: those who follow us on Facebook and those who are missing out

Keep up with us on Instagram: Follow us on Twitter: Website:

Add us to your circles on Google+: Tweet Me:

Hollywood Celebrities 2017 & Film News, Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian.

Some of Hollywood’s animated family films have drawn fire for being accused of having sexual references hidden in them, among them The Little Mermaid (1989), Aladdin (1992), and The Lion King (1994). Instances of sexual material hidden in some versions of The Rescuers (1977) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) resulted in recalls and modifications of the films to remove such content. New Hollywood Princess Celebrities, Taylor Swift Wears Snakeskin Backpack On #NationalSnakeDay & Shades Kim Kardashian.

https://www.myhollywoodnews.com/taylor-swift-wears-snakeskin-backpack-on-nationalsnakeday-shades-kim-kardashian/

#LatestNews

it was the way you looked at me that night. we were at a party and my best friend had left us there. you say, "i already knew she was going to do this". me, always oblivious to what was going on. the night carries on and we have fun with your friends. i start taking shots with a chaser of my OE. every time i looked your way you were already looking at me. i didn't think anything of it but i guess you had other things in mind. i start getting warm and friendlier with your friends, we're actually getting along. i know I've met them before but it had been so long. talking to one of our friends exes and she tries to get the details on his life. i had no idea what was okay to share and what to keep silent. you were always there, close by, making sure i was okay and was having fun. fun. you were always that friend who made sure i was okay and if i wasnt; you made the mission of the night to turn it around. we're all outside on the porch; drinking and smoking, talking. it was nice to feel all these vibes around me. it had been awhile since i genuinely felt this way. it had been awhile having human interaction and people sincerely asking how i am and asking about my life. you exposed me to a group of friends that i longed to have. and you knew this. friends who actually gave a damn if you got home safe after too much drinking or just to make sure you're safe in general. it wasnt until we had to leave when you gave me that look again. we were talking about music we both liked and how crazy in love i am with the 1975 and halsey. so cliché but it made me open up to you. we called an uber and waited inside as a guy tried talking to me on the couch. we were playing mortal kombat and i'd like to believe i could go beast on that game. he didn't even go easy on me, which he got brownie points for. we exchanged social media accounts and you sat yourself in between us striking up conversation. this was you being overprotective. always overprotecting me from guys you knew that had one intention. obviously, i didn't care if they were going to hurt me or use me. i just craved attention. i got the message when we were playing the video game. you grab my hand as you lead the way out of the apartment. it was the way everyone already knew what was going on. again, i was oblivious. i guess i missed something when i agreed to go home with you because even my best friends boyfriend knew what you had in mind. we were waiting by the gate and you gave me that look again. but this time it had a hint of hunger. attention. it scared me because i was too drunk to realize how stupid it would be if we were to do anything once we got back to your place. we stood there staring at each other in silence. then, like you knew what i was thinking you rushed over to me and kissed me. it was like i was asking for it all night, my body pushed into yours. i didnt know what else my mind wanted. i, myself, didnt know how much i wanted to kiss you. it was like i waited for so long. i was so unaware how much i wanted you right then. when the uber finally showed up we climbed into the back as you started conversating with the driver. of course. making friends everywhere you went. you always amazed me with how easy it was for you to start talking to people like you knew them forever. you pulled me into you and i rest my head on your shoulder. i was already in and out by now and i feel you wrap your arm around me and hold me close. i look up at you as you talk to the driver all the way back. you look down at me and smile as you place another kiss on my lips. it was then when that thought crept into my mind. maybe we shouldn't be doing this. the driver asked if we had a nice night and you say, "yeah, but my girl had more than i did". your girl. who was that? the driver replies, "you're doing a good job taking care of her. i dont know how many girls i see partying without their boyfriend only to come home alone." i smile and place my hand on the side of your face and you take my hand. it was then when i realized that maybe we shouldnt do this but you were always there to take care of me. so many occurrences in the past where you were always there. that time i was drunk and fighting with my friend in your driveway. that time i was drunk and my boyfriend left me. that time with your wifes party i got out of hand and you made me sleep on your couch. that very first time we met even. that first night when me and my ex went to a party and met you and we had no way home. you took care of us and made sure we got home. even now, you still message or call me to make sure im okay because you know the demons in my head like to mess with me and make me self destruct. it was a long time coming but when we got back to your place i remember you leading me to your room and let me lay down. "do you want some water?" i heard as you sat next to me on the bed. i was fading in and out. "baby, drink some water so you wont be sick later", i hear you suggest. baby. that was the first. my drunken head lifts as i sit next to you as you pop two tylenol in my mouth and open the water bottle for me to drink. you kiss me once more and we lay down together. i slowly feel myself waking up as you start rambling. it was almost as if you didnt want me to go to sleep, not yet. "did you have fun tonight?" you ask. i nodded as we're lying close to each other. smell combining of alcohol and smoke. "are you okay?" i ask, which caught you by surprise. "yeah" you respond, without a thought. "really?" "what makes you think I'm not?" i look at your eyes, i always knew when you were lying. "the posts," i whisper. "the posts," you say like you didn't know what i was referring to. "the posts," i say a little louder, "of your wife and how you want to hurt yourself because then it would be physical and not emotional." "let's not," you close up on me and try to distract me with kisses all over my face. as much as i wanted to i was really concerned for your well-being. we start play fighting but you end up lying on me as i hold you close. "seriously though," i try again, "i worry about you. i want to know every day, minute that you're not going to do something stupid." you hide your face from me and fall silent. "i know she hurt you. but it isnt an excuse to give up and be self distructive. there is a lot of people around you who really care. you have the option to realize that now or when its too late. im just trying to help. trying to offer my help." silence. "she was stupid," i start again, this time you look at me. "shes stupid because she lost someone who wouldve done anything for her. someone who wouldve kept her happy and made sure she was loved no matter what. shes stupid for leaving someone who loved her so much." you were the first to break the gaze because you knew i was right. as you held onto me you didnt really have much to say. "really transparent is it?" i nodd and look up at the ceiling because i knew no matter how hard you wanted to. you wouldnt let yourself fall as hard as you did for me as you did for her. that was the first night we spent together and actually had a conversation that didnt involve awkward pauses but something deep because as much as i didn't want you to. for a brief moment, i was hoping you'd try to at least fix your marriage because when we looked at each other. i just knew thats what you really wanted; and i was that friend that helped you try different ways to get her back. it wasnt apparent at the time. but when we kept coming home together only to fill the emptiness we both felt with each other, i realized that i was falling for you. it wasnt clear at the time but it hit me because i remember at one point in time. i fucking hated you. i dont know why, so dont ask. its not because i don't want to tell you. it's because i really dont know. but we talked and both knew its because youre an asshole. especially when we first met. especially when you're drunk. so thats why I'm not getting attached. i know that's what you want. i know because when we spend time together you never stop locking eyes when we're in bed. the eye contact. i never had that before. and i believe you helped me in a way. i became more confident and finding myself with you. i never had someone encourage me to do the things you had me do. you made me discover so much of myself and i thank you but it still doesnt fix the fact that youre making it so goddamn hard to not fall for you. theres so many reasons. you take good care of me. in all the ways humanly possible. you were there to talk to when i got sexually abused by a friend that i honestly trusted. you called and messaged me everyday asking me, begging me not to shut you out or to do anything stupid. you suggested me to come over and spend time with you when all i wanted to do was cry and take tons of showers because i never felt clean. the more i think of reasons not to let myself fall it gets difficult because youve helped me in so many ways. i came to the point where i hope we never stop talking because youre my safe haven. you let me be my crazy self; and vice versa. i know i can never measure up to the girl who broke your heart but i want to at least make you feel the love i know you deserve. you deserve so much and i just want to make sure you never go to sleep thinking youre unwanted. its cheesy as fuck but thats how i feel.