your tags... i'm so lonely i would probably even appreciate it (someone being my friend to feel better about themselves) isn't that extremely pathetic?

these feelings are very normal. loneliness can lead you to desperation, it's just how it works. you may say these things about yourself and put yourself down but it's the last thing you need. craving intimacy to a point where you'd acept it under questionable circumstances is a hard thing to be going through, i understand where you're coming from, i feel for you and send you my love <3 but using words like ''pathetic'' to describe your situation doesn't do you any good, i wish you'd have more empathy for yourself. there are people out there who would like to be your friend just because of you and not your struggles and i hope loneliness wouldn't blind you into thinking those people do not exist because they do. even i, as someone who feels very unloveable at times, know deep down that there is love for everyone out there.

there is a loneliness epidemic, you know? people who do not suffer from depression also experience it, it's kind of the way the world seems to be turning out..there are people surrounded by friends who feel this way as well. my point is you're not alone. no one is alone in their loneliness, we're all connected in that way.

i hope you find a friend who's there for you soon, you deserve it. in the meantime please try to remember you're not any less for your feelings or unworthy of companionship and please for the love of god, do not use that language on yourself! you are precious and should be your own biggest supporter 💕

commercial break: twelve

this is part of my netflix & chill series a prelude to part 10 <3

SUMMARY Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee.  WARNING none !! we r safe MISC jk and doyeon mortal enemies, nearly everyone is mentioned, thank u namjoon, jk loves oc, the end <3 jimin makes his first appearance O_O WC 1.4k

NOTES we just having fun with it!!! jk’s friendship with everyone else <3

Doyeon says you have fat fingers, and Jungkook takes great offense at that. “Who cares about the size— __ has pretty hands, idiot,” he mutters, and almost wants to feel bad about being so childish in the middle of this jewelry store. But Kim Doyeon is a pest— a fly who just won’t stop buzzing by his ear with each ring they look at, and she has the audacity to look disgusted with him now. Jungkook very much regrets inviting her along. She exudes very similar energy to the popular girls he used to go to high school, the ones that would only talk to him because he was friends with Namjoon and wanted Jungkook to help them into his pants. Lo and behold, Kim Doyeon is very acquainted with whatever’s inside Namjoon’s pants. She hits the mark perfectly. 

“Oh, definitely get her a rock. Like, one of those obnoxiously bing and shiny rings, maybe?” And she never stops talking. 

Jungkook hasn’t had to spend this much time with her in months, the last time being Namjoon’s birthday when you had tasked the two of them to go pick up the cake together. Not only was Doyeon adamant on passenger-seat driving — “Turn here,” she says a moment too late, “no wait, here — but she had been an absolute heathen outside in the bakery parking lot. 

(“Okay, now take a picture of me by this wall,” she says, artfully holding up the box of cake in two hands, dark hair flipped over her shoulder. Jungkook doesn’t know how to tell her that there is no significant difference between this brick wall and the brick wall they just took a picture by two minutes before.)

Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. It would be him and Namjoon, and maybe Namjoon’s blunt roommate Jimin if he was feeling down for it, but that was pretty much it. Even Taehyung, a very close and dearly cherished friend, had not made the cut. He was too lazy, didn’t offer much concrete advice other than the occasional, “that one looks cool” comment. 

The great thing about Namjoon is that he’s highly educated on just about every aspect of life; he knows the best hairstylists — “You can always ask Hobi,” Namjoon offers, “he’s married.” — and the best lawyers — “Oh, and Yoongi can help with your prenup.” — for no reason other than the fact he is Namjoon. 

The bad thing about Namjoon is that he’s dead set on including Doyeon. “Doyeon is ___’s best friend,” he says calmly one night after dinner. You’re at your friend’s house this weekend, something about a midnight revenge plot against a shitty ex-boyfriend. He isn’t too clear on the details. “You have to let her in on it.” It’s been decades since Jungkook last stomped his foot in annoyance, but the urge wells up strongly in him now. 

Jimin is on the couch. “Oooh, you don’t like her?” he asks, flipping his platinum hair away from his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t answer, only because it would be rude to confirm it in front of Namjoon. Jimin presses on. “Is she, like, an evil best friend?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says at the same time Namjoon says, “no.” Jimin’s got this highly intrigued smirk on his face, and Jungkook hates how similar it is to your own mischievous grins. He’s glad you haven’t met Jimin, mostly because he knows you have your mean moments and meeting Park Jimin would only exacerbate them. Namjoon frowns anyway. 

Jimin says, “oh, you guys should duel. Like, whoever knows __ the best gets to keep her.” 

Namjoon jumps to stop that thought. “No— they’re not gonna duel, Jimin. ___ isn’t an object to win,” he scolds, and Jungkook nods along agreeingly, pretends he hadn’t seriously considered Jimin’s idea for a solid ten seconds. 

Long story short, Doyeon has tagged along to this jeweler and the past two jewelers to make sure Jungkook doesn’t give you “an ugly ring,” as she claims. 

“Wait, what if you get her this one,” she says, on the other side of the store. Jungkook sighs, but hurries over anyway. Hey, he’s here to see some rings, okay? 

Doyeon is looking at the most ugly ring Jungkook has ever seen, a mix of a braid and a snake, that is just too… not you. “This is hideous,” he says, disregarding all and any notions of being polite because at this point, she had to be pulling his leg. “___ would hate this.” 

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “Oh, ‘cause you know ___ sooo well, don’t you?” she snarks. 

Jungkook levels her with a glare. “I do, actually,” he says, “that’s literally what made me want to marry her.” And because Kim Doyeon sparks a very immature flame within him, he feels the need to add, “I probably know ___ better than you,” to top it off. 

Doyeon scoffs. “No, you don’t— you will never know her like I do, you overgrown fungus,” she spits. “Me and ___ have exceeded any level of trust you could ever hope to have, a friendship forged on the grounds of love and equal values. A nerd like you can’t even begin to fathom the absolutely crazy shit we’ve shared with each other.” 

If he was eight years younger, Jungkook is certain he would have gone home and cried. Mid-twenties Jungkook, on the other hand, has had one too many rodeos with mean girls — he’s dating a retired high school cheerleader, for goodness sake, an apex predator if he’s ever seen one — and will not stand for it. Besides, Jungkook has received your blessing to check Doyeon into place if ever she crosses the line. 

(“Sometimes you just gotta knock her down, maybe call her a dumbass if necessary,” you had said one night after Doyeon had unceremoniously barged into your apartment to monopolize your evening plans with Jungkook. Now it’s nearing midnight and as much as Jungkook wants to spend time with you, he’s deathly tired. “Just tell her off.” 

Jungkook frowns, snuggles closer until he’s so tightly pressed against your body that he can’t tell whose heartbeat is whose. He likes it like that.

There’s just something about your annoying best friend that activates this feeling in Jungkook’s chest. If anything, Jungkook imagines it is similar to that of having a bratty little sister. But Doyeon as his sister? He rolls his eyes so far back he swears he sees his own brain. 

It’s childish and petty and unlike Jungkook — or at least, unlike the Jungkook he knows you think he is. Which is flattering, to be thought of so highly, but sometimes Jungkook wonders where on earth you got that idea from. Because whenever he’s around you, Jungkook becomes increasingly immature, grows so greedy and needy, desperate for anything you have to give him. 

And because he’s so immature, he settles on tattling to you instead, “she called me a sweaty meat bag,” to which you snort in amusement.) 

For now, he calls on the spirit of the most mature person he knows (Namjoon). Jungkook takes one last look at his millionth silver band of the day before turning to address the Wicked Witch of the West. “I might not know ___ like you do, but that’s fine,” he says calmly. “We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together anyway.” 

In front of him, Doyeon’s eye twitches and Jungkook senses he has won. For now. See, the thing is, Jungkook knows that using Namjoon-level logic against her is foolproof. For one, Namjoon’s logic is always solid. But also, as much as Jungkook despises Kim Doyeon with nearly every fiber in his being… ultimately, they share a common interest: cherishing you. 

Had it not been for your existence in their lives, Jungkook doubts he would have ever spent his Saturday morning at a jeweler with the likes of Kim Doyeon, especially not after she had spent ten minutes in the Starbucks drive-thru ordering the most bizarrely complicated drink. But deep in his heart Jungkook knows that she loves you, though not as much as him, and he respects the fact she is willing to accompany him in the name of buying you a beautiful engagement ring. It’s a friendship solidarity he admires, and for that he stomps down his childish pride to answer in a way that would impress, well, you. 

(Even when you’re not here, Jungkook always wants to impress you.)

At his side, Doyeon huffs. “I should’ve never taken ___ to that party.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr

it does matter, actually, that goro akechi is a minor. not because this somehow exonerates him morally, or because this somehow makes him not responsible for his actions, but because persona 5 is invested in children as a source of hope for a better future. 

once i saw someone complain that people will defend akechi’s murders on the grounds that he’s a child/minor and how they felt that this doesnt excuse multiple counts of murder. and i was like, ok, well, im not sure anyone was excusing him, but alright, sure. and i’ve seen a few rebuttals to that, one of which is that shido and the other adults in akechi’s life had a responsibility to support akechi in such a way that it didn’t come to murder, and of course it’s on shido to just not be a massive dick who endorses fascism and murders in the first place. and i was like ok, well, this seems a little patronizing and dismissive of akechi’s agency and autonomy, but alright, sure.

in a very roundabout way of explaining my first two sentences, there’s one thing that bothers me lately, and it’s selim bradley from fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood. 

for those of us not familiar with fma:b, selim, or pride, is the oldest homunculus/artificial human in the show and the second-oldest villain, despite the fact that he looks about eight years old. of the seven homunculus named after deadly sins, selim/pride is the only one to survive the show--with an asterisk, which is that selim gets the “homunculus” part of him erased by the end of the show. with the “pride” aspect of him gone, selim is mortal, without any special powers, without memories of any of his amoral acts, and is generally just a happy, normal child.

which is a weird exception to fma:b’s general rule in which every other homunculus dies. even fan favorites like greed and envy don’t live, despite the fact that greed and envy are far more sympathetic as characters. selim kills multiple people on-screen, shows zero remorse whatsoever, and is an active helper in all the other mass-murders that the homunculi engineer. selim’s not an innocent in any way. also, he’s like, 200 years old? 300? he’s very old. biologically, mentally, emotionally, selim is not a child.

but fma:b goes out of its way to make sure that selim gets a second chance at a future, just because his body looks like a child’s. cut another way, he gets an exception from a large number of terrible crimes, up to an including participation in genocide, just because he looks like a child. 

fma:b reminded me that, outside of tumblr’s purity politics over children, and especially so in japan, children are socially constructed in a very specific way, beyond biological age and legal majority cutoffs. 

yes, biological age is a thing. yes, legal majority is a thing. i’m not saying that being a child isn’t a biological thing--it is, obviously. but what i’m saying is that there’s a difference between, say, the sex assigned to you at birth and your gender presentation, to use an analogy. there is a such thing as biological age, but the societal status of being a child of a related but separate thing. and this status of being considered a child is a societal construct.

the social construction goes like this, insofar as i’m aware: children should be good and silent and dutiful and work hard and go to school and listen to their elders, and their elders in turn should do everything they can to guide the children to the right path and build a good society for these children to inherit. (if we want more details on this, please see the entire history of filial piety in asia.)

so that’s a social contract right there baked into the social construct of childhood: children don’t have power, but adults have an obligation to make sure they don’t need power, and to make sure that the future and their children’s futures look bright. 

children represent the future, essentially. they’re the next generation. they’re simultaneously without legal rights as adults and in a very vulnerable position, for sure, but they’re also simultaneously considered the country’s most precious capital: quite literally the people who will inherit and lead the country next.

which, personally, i think puts a whole new spin on the phantom thieves in general. they’re not just kids who’re being rowdy or kids telling abusive shitty adults theyre being abusive and shitty--or, they’re kids doing those things, but they’re not just kids doing those things. they’re kids who’ve been specifically let down by adults who did not fulfill their social obligation to them. they’re kids who’ve been abandoned and neglected by the very adults who should have been paving the way forward for them, as society has asked those adults to do, because those adults have instead chosen to line their own pockets and cover their own asses. 

so the kids said: alright, well, then i’ll take power for myself, and i’ll make my own future. (which is where we get a lot of those promo slogans of “steal back your future” and junk like that.)

sae’s comments about how adults should do their part to fix the world for the kids is just a resolidifying of the way the world “should” work, and we could talk about her comments on the matter, but actually i wanna talk about yoshida.

i especially want to talk about yoshida because yoshida and shido are the two politicians we see the most of, and both of them spend a lot of time reciting political rhetoric to speak to the hearts of the general japanese populace. we all know the way that shido thinks of japan: a large vehicle that one person is in control of, and the masses just compose the throne upon which the ruler sits.

we also already know that yoshida’s a Real G, but it’s worth really close-reading some of his lines. he speaks a lot about apathy, the lack of caring for each other in society--a general willingness to disregard your fellow man, to not uphold one’s social obligation to each other. but he also talks a lot about the “youth”--which is not really uncommon for a politician, obviously, since politicians are always talking about “the children” and “the kids” and “the next generation” and “those damn millennials” and all that shit. 

yoshida instead gives us these fun lines:

A world where the young exist only to be exploited... is a world that must be changed!

And while our society appears to be prosperous, many of our young people are quietly suffering. They lack jobs, security, savings... The next generation will lead us into the future and yet they have no plan for how to arrive there.

Passing on the societal ills we have created to the next generation... is not right!

...the current administration refuses to discuss their plans for the future... Can we really accept such an utter lack of transparency?!

If you make a promise, you must keep it. If you make a mistake, you must atone for it. These are basic human principles that we have all learned from the youngest of ages... 

yoshida’s entire thing about how the adults have let the children down isn’t just him saying shit--he’s commenting directly on the fact that the social contract has been broken, and he’s putting the blame on the administration for not upholding their responsibility to secure a future for the children, especially since the children are the future of the country. 

this is partly why he doesn’t blame the phantom thieves for acting the way that they do; rather, he seems them as a logical reaction to the injustice that’s occurred as a result of the society that the adults have left for them:

I bet [the Phantom Thieves] are a group of young people. Young people who have experienced cruelty and injustice... They bravely face the societal ills that plague our world without thinking of the consequences.

(i think also in part he admires the fact that they’re anonymous and don’t benefit personally from their actions, which is exactly the opposite of what he did as a young politician. he also doesn’t throw the real embezzlement culprit under the bus to exonerate himself presumably for the same principle of desiring selfless public service instead of personal gain.)

in both the early parts of the s link and later on when yoshida starts talking with matsushita more extensively, akira’s important because he’s young--he represents the young demographic that yoshida and matsushita are discussing the future of. akira demonstrating support for yoshida in a public way means a lot because he’s a minor. matsushita asks akira for his opinions on the phantom thieves and other issues because akira is a minor. akira’s opinion is supposed to be heard and valued by adults, who should take his opinions into consideration and do their best to not let him down. 

this is tied into the general thread of yoshida being a person who was self-admittedly just as corrupt as everyone else, who was blinded by glamor and fame and money, who got caught up in political scandal. yoshida’s general acceptance of his mistakes as a human being and politician ties over to his general belief that it’s not that the youth are rebellious no-good teens, but that the youth have been let down by politicians like who he used to be. he blames himself, and because he is not too different from the rest of the older generation and politicians in general, he implicates a lot of the older generation and politicians as also blame-worthy.

his quest for redemption and atonement dovetails neatly with his views on the broken societal contract. taken together, yoshida’s s link implies to us the idea that the entire general older generation in japan more or less owes the children of japan a formal apology, and the older generation better get on their redemption arc and start being the vanguard of the change for children:

The reason [the Phantom Thieves are] causing a stir is because they are addressing the world’s problems. Setting aside whether their actions are right or wrong... there is one thing I can safely say about the Phantom Thieves. A belief with conviction... has the ability to move a person’s heart.

I’m sure you are all aware that I am “No-Good Tora,” the one accused of embezzlement. However, because I was accused like that, I was able to understand the suffering of the weak. Why am I in politics? In the past, it was merely for personal gain. But why do the Phantom Thieves continue to change hearts? I believe they do it for the world and its people. And in choosing to do justice for others, they had no choice but to disguise themselves. No matter what the world says, I fully support them. 

I’m just an average citizen. However, I will continue to voice my beliefs. I may not be able to become a Diet member this election... and I may not be able to effect change during my lifetime... but I’ve made my peace with that. I will be happy as long as I can be a meaningful stepping stone for the future of our youth!

okay. so that was a lot of close reading about yoshida. why did we do this exercise, tumblr user akechicrimes. 

there’s two takeaways from this. the first is the one that yoshida has already talked about extensively, which is that the phantom thieves are just but not because Fuck Cops and Fuck Capitalism and Fuck Anime Jeff Bezos. the phantom thieves are just because the people who are supposed to be upholding society aren’t doing their fucking jobs. the phantom thieves are specifically saying: we’ve been let down by society, so apparently we have to do everything our goddamn selves around here.

(which also ties in neatly to the general “fuck cops” vibe of persona 5 which, i would like to say, is very specifically “the cops are not doing their jobs.” the TV station scene where akira speaks back to akechi is, if i’m remembering this right, maybe the ONLY time we really hear “akira’s” opinion on the morality of his own activities, which is fascinating because he just does these things without ever justifying himself to the player--anyway, his three options are: (1) They’re justice itself, (2) They’re necessary, and (3) They do more than the cops. so akira can’t ever at any point say that the phantom thieves are bad, but his most interesting and detailed answer is to point out that the cops aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do, so who can really blame the phantom thieves for doing what the cops aren’t?)

the second takeaway is that yes, goro akechi does get more leniency because he’s a minor. 

yes. seriously. this isn’t a matter of excusing what he did, or downplaying the fact that he committing murder. i’m not saying that he wasn’t old enough to make decisions (although i would never say that he was old enough to make decisions, because he was 14/15 when he got wrapped up in shido’s conspiracy). i’m also not saying that akechi, somehow for some reason, didn’t volunteer himself willingly, because all the evidence points to the fact that he did (although of course “free will” is also highly circumspect considering his living conditions at the time and the fact that shido makes it clear that he was able to manipulate akechi without ever infringing on akechi’s sense of autonomy). i’m not even saying that akechi was driven to the point of murder and had no other choice (although i think that might also be true as well).

what i am saying is that under the construction of childhood as japan’s future and japan’s hope, akechi is considered a valuable member of society, and is therefore worth saving.

or at least he should be.

akechi says that he’s an unwanted child, but “unwanted child,” according to yoshida’s rhetoric (and a lot of japan’s general rhetoric of children as hope for the future) is an oxymoron. (or at least it would be an oxymoron if japan weren’t so fucking hypocritical.) you can’t not want the future of the country. you can’t not want hope for a good future. the very idea that a child could be not wanted or not valuable doesn’t make any sense, because children are the future--in some ways, whether you like it or not, that child is going to inherit the earth when you’re dead.

the kind of person who’d not want those things is--well, shido. (this is why i used yoshida; yoshida and shido are two polar opposite politicians.) shido quite literally does not want a good future for anyone in the country and quite literally does not want akechi and quite literally does not see akechi, one of the very young-person citizens that shido is supposed to be serving, as useful or valuable in any way unless akechi is directly promoting shido’s fame and popularity. shido being akechi’s father is just a very neat and nice way of literalizing the ways that shido, as an adult, has let down akechi as a child--the ways that shido quite literally owed akechi something to make akechi’s life and future better, and instead did everything awful.

there should not ever be a thing like “unwanted child.” that in and of itself, from the start of akechi’s life, was nonsensical. and to the extent that shido being akechi’s father is allegorical of the ways that shido is a terrible patriarch for japan, i would say that akechi, as an unwanted foster child, is just another allegory for the ways that children nowadays are treated as misbehaving, lazy good-for-nothings who have to work themselves into the dirt to be given half the salary and half the praise. akechi, as an unwanted child, is just the personification and representative of an apparently unwanted generation. 

what i’m getting at is that akechi’s status as a minor (and yes he’s a minor even if he’s eighteen; age of majority in japan is twenty)--akechi’s status as a minor is a critical part of why akechi gets a shot at a redemption arc. so yes, actually, the other villains or palace-rulers don’t get redemption arcs because they are adults, who had a societal obligation to do better by their peers and by the children of japan. yes, actually, akechi’s informal “trial” in the hands of fandom is to be tried as a minor and not as an adult. yes, i know kamoshida didn’t kill anyone and akechi’s literal crimes are more morally repugnant, but yes, unfortunately, being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree. 

being a child matters in the larger scheme of persona 5′s logic of who owes who, who’s responsible for who, and why we should not be apathetic. adults owe children a better future. adults have been letting children down. adults owe every single phantom thief, including akechi, an apology, a better future, and health and happiness; and they owe that to japan’s future not as a matter of exchange or morals, but simple social obligation. adults are supposed to take care of the kids--full stop. 

”okay but @ tumblr user akechicrimes?? akechi KILLED people.”

yeah, i know. i said “being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree.” 

what degree? no idea. that’s up to you to decide. if you want to play in the black-grey-white morality scale that only goes two ways, you’re welcome to continue to ask “what degree.” we can argue that being a minor somehow reels akechi back from the “black” end of the spectrum into the “grey” or “white” parts. 

but (if i may be permitted to go completely off the shits into things that might make people pissed off at me for saying) i implore you to consider that this two-way scale of morality is not the line of thought that persona 5 is pursuing. 

this, again, ties back into the social construction of a child. i’ve said “a child is representative of the country’s future” so many times i think it’s lost meaning, so let me dice it a different way: a child is socially constructed as representative of potential and hope. a child is socially constructed as the capacity for things to get better. in persona terms, a child is the fool at the start of their journey, all futures contained in one present, a vast multitude of could-be’s. 

for a game very concerned with japan’s general societal ruin, children are not just in the position of having been let down by adults, but are--as the phantom thieves demonstrate--representative of better futures regardless of how terrible circumstances look in the current day. they are a source of believing one day this sad, depressing story might actually end with “and then they lived happily ever after.”

if i may go even more completely off the shits, take a look at this heckler from yoshida’s s link, which is the one that akira speaks back to in the middle of yoshida’s speech:

...I’ve been wrong this whole time. Even though someone has failed in the past, it doesn’t mean that person can’t try again.

this is to say, redemption arcs insofar as persona 5 (and also persona 5 royal, i think) is concerned is not a question of necessarily addressing the wrongs that have occurred. yoshida sets the bar pretty high in that yoshida does not ask for forgiveness for what he’s done, and instead simply accepts his actions and their consequences without attempting to lessen the blow. he embraces what he’s done in all its awfulness. 

but because akechi is a a minor, and because akechi as a minor is getting wrapped up in persona 5′s train of thought about kids as the hopeful futures of japan, akechi is at the very least owed a chance to do better. as a minor, japan is societally contracte to give him the space to have the potential to be better and do better. nobody is obligated to forgive him, and indeed neither royal nor akechi ever seem to entertain this as a valid possibility. forgive, forget, reconciliation, retribution, and resolution seem to be all off the table, as if the very idea would minimize haru or futaba’s losses. the very conceit of the dreamworld in P5R wants to shoot down the very idea that the past can ever, to any degree, be fixed, remedied, or even emotionally resolved. akechi will have always killed wakaba and okumura and this fact will always be awful--full stop.

nevertheless, despite the fact that the past cannot be changed, akechi is still a minor. rather than attempting to resolve the issues of the past, akechi is still owed the space to become a beacon of potential change for the better in the future--which is also known as hope. 

i’ve said this in other posts elsewhere, but persona games are like, obsessed with hope. they fucking adore that shit. why not? even in difficult times, even when things are terrible and you’re going through misery, if you at least have hope that one day things will be better, that life will change, that the new generation will step up to the plate and make the story have a happy ending, pain becomes easier to bear. and why not? persona games cover a breadth of difficult topics. 

especially in a game like P5, which talks at length about modern day japan’s ailments, what good is it if the player walks away with a defeatist attitude that the future will be terrible? 

if reality is malleable like morgana says, isn’t the first step to have hope that this is true?

this post has gone on a lot longer than i thought it would. but in any event. that’s why it is valid to say that akechi being a minor “exonerates” him to a degree. 

also selim bradley lives because fma:b concurs that children are a hope for a better future and fma:b is particularly invested in this line of thought because it’s a story about edward transitioning from a child to a young adult who is learning about the ways that the world works and is also still just childlike enough to propose that the world shouldn’t have to work in the bloody, awful way that it does. selim is representative that all children should be given as many chances as possible to do and be better because they are representative of potential. if that wasn’t clear. lmao.

✨sorry Im kinda late if you're still doing the ask thingy. anyway, what are some of your UNPOPULAR opinions?

No, it’s fine! I’m happy to get asks whenever :)

First of all, I’d like to apologize for the delay. It took me like 3 days to answer this because I added a lot. This was a LOT more elaborate than you asked for so uh...... enjoy?

I have a lot of conflicted opinions that I wouldn’t exactly call “unpopular”, but I also have several that I would. There is negativity in this post, and if you’d rather not read it, then please don’t.

Please do not comment or message me about these if you disagree. This is my blog, and if you generally disagree with my than I don’t know what you are doing here.

Thank you for the ask!

1. I kinda... almost.... hated “Buddy”.

 Yes, it’s a really catchy song and a great blend of Zach and James’ voices, but it also serves as a reminder that the writers prioritized Cassandra’s importance over Eugene’s. I’m already not a fan of it when people use strong and mature characters in overly silly scenarios, but it makes my stomach churn to think that they would actually dare to ridicule Eugene to such a far extent in order to give Cassandra the spotlight, when her entire arc was written poorly despite all their costly efforts to give it to her. I know that Eugene didn’t intentionally fall under the influence of those flowers and he certainly would’ve done something had he been there when Rapunzel discovered the Moon Incantation, but honestly that just bothers me even more because Eugene had so much potential and they wasted it.

2. (I don’t know what’s gonna come of this) I don’t hate King Frederick. I’m very disappointed in him, but I don’t hate him. Everyone hates him because of his failure to handle a threat to the kingdom, and his rashness and dishonestly toward his daughter, and I both agree to a lot of it, but I don’t hate him.

I have no excuses for the fact that he lied about having the black rocks under control because he didn’t know what to do about them. As the king, it is his responsibility to consider what is best for his kingdom, and by lying about a major threat, he only caused the problem to get worse. The reason the black rocks came in the first place, however, is because he took the Sundrop to heal his dying wife and unborn child. I know it wasn’t the most prudent decision, and he did a horrible job cleaning up the mess he made afterwards, but he was desperate to save his family, and chances are likely that he didn’t have time to consider every aspect and consequence that taking the Sundrop would cause.

Regarding his actions towards Rapunzel, I hate the fact that he would dare consider locking his own daughter in her room to protect her from something that he’s not making any effort to fix. Treating people immorally harshly while saying it’s for their own good is toxic, and I want to make it clear that I am the last person to defend abusers, but I highly doubt that Frederick gingerly considered every aspect of locking his daughter in her room and how it would affect her. Rapunzel was kidnapped as a baby, and that gives two reasons why Frederick is so protective of her: the fact that he is her father and the pain and trauma in itself. Everyone takes trauma differently, depending on the person and the weight of the situation. I hate it when people who are clearly smart and strong enough to understand the situation use their traumas as an excuse to justify their actions, but some people are so devastated by their traumas that they completely lose themselves. Again, he logically wouldn’t have thought about every single thing he was doing and the trouble it would cause. He lost his baby girl. I’ve heard many times that losing a child is the worst pain imaginable, and you could only understand that pain if you experienced it. Perhaps he even felt responsible for the fact that his daughter was kidnapped because he thought that he wasn’t as protective as he should’ve been, and the idea of “making things right again” and protecting her was drilled so deeply into his mind. In addition to the pain that he went through and how that affected his judgments, Frederick had no parental experience whatsoever. All parents have to figure out who their children are and how they should handle situations. Doing this involves trial and error, tears and pain. As seen in the episode “You’re Kidding Me”, Rapunzel and Eugene both thought they knew how to treat children but both of them made errors due to the cooperation and sensitivity of the kids they were looking after - this applies to every parent and every child. Frederick was completely ad-libbed into parenthood, and his trauma from losing his child did not mix well with Rapunzel’s spirit of adventure and independence.

As a king, Frederick failed in his responsibility to do what is best for the kingdom, and I agree that he wasn’t justified for the actions he took (or didn’t take), and he was a jerk for lying about it; but as a father, I feel more sympathy for him because in his eyes, he was doing the right thing, even though we know that he wasn’t. People are so quick to justify Varian for his actions following his traumas, when he’s admittedly intelligent enough to understand them; but people are so quick to demonize Frederick for his actions following his traumas, when he’s clearly not intelligent enough to understand them. I don’t think that’s fair in the minimal sense and it still irks me how biased a lot of people were in this situation.

3. I’m not sure how “popular” or “unpopular” this one is considered, but I hated both Stalyan and Brock Thunderstrike. It takes a lot for me to actually hate a character, but considering how much they wronged Eugene, I can’t ever see them in a positive perspective.

Aside from almost killing Lance, Stalyan abused Eugene. When he was only 16, she tried to marry him so that he could be her partner in crime, and judging by the way she talked to him in BTCW, it’s likely that she manipulated him and constantly belittled his choices. (which is another reason I hate how they did that with the Cass arc, because he should be entitled to such a valid opinion). She called him by his fake last name and tried to pull him back into the past, showing that she gave no importance to his persona and development as a character. When he refuses to marry her, her dad poisons his best friend and forces Eugene to either let his best friend from childhood die, or leave his girlfriend - his closest companion who filled in his missing parts and helped him to know that he mattered. Afterwards, she brushed it of with “that was my dad’s idea, but bad guys have a flair for drama”, in the least sympathetic tone imaginable. She then locked him and his dying friend in prison until the wedding, and tried to convince him that he wasn’t good enough for the woman he loved. The writers could’ve used her as a way to understand Eugene’s insecurities and pain a little bit better, but they freaking REDEEMED her. She just went with Rapunzel on a little road trip where she decided “y’know what, you can have my ex boyfriend and I’ll move on! Tell him I said hi!”. We didn’t get a proper address that Stalyan likely had a role in damaging Eugene’s sense of importance and trust, but even worse, we didn’t get an apology. I can’t believe that they made Rapunzel deal with someone else’s abusive relationship, where she hardly understood what was actually going on. Stalyan never said another word to Eugene or apologized to him or Lance for what she had done to both of them. She married a guy that looks exactly like him in the end too! Instead of looking for someone new, she chose a guy who looks exactly like her ex, showing that she cared more about his looks than his inner self.

Speaking of her new boyfriend, I hated Brock Thunderstrike. Let’s just pretend that Eugene hasn’t already been sidelined and ridiculed for Cass, and make an almost exact copy of him, only without his flaws and development! Let’s make him look exactly like him, make him repeat every iconic action and line that he made in the movie in a flawless way, and make him steal his entire former identity!  - THAT WAS SO STUPID! I can’t believe they actually did that! Eugene is one of the most meticulously created, personified, and multifaceted characters that Disney has ever created, but not only did they push him in the mud to give Cassandra space, but they created this idiot Mary Sue copy of him with no personification otherwise! In the end, just like Stalyan, he decided with no redeeming deeds or apologies that he would make a new person of himself.

They really make a good match, and that’s not a compliment.

4. I love Lance as a person, but not as a character - If that makes any sense.

I love that wholesome boy a lot, but I don’t like the way he was used in the show. I think that even he pitched in to the factors that flattened Eugene as a character in the show. First of all, it takes away some of the meaning of love and it’s necessity to Eugene’s life. We always thought that Eugene was a lonely, rejected child who needed love more than he realized, but it turns out he did, in fact, have a buddy who wasn’t just his partner in crime for years, but a close, brotherly figure. That contradicts the significance of Eugene’s childhood and life as an orphan. Secondly, Lance was often used as an object to distract Eugene and drag him into the stupid and nonsensical scenarios that prevented him from interfering with Rapunzel and Cassandra’s overly prioritized involvement to the plot of the episode. Don’t get me wrong. I love Lance and have nothing against him, but his role as a character could’ve been used in better ways.

5. Adira should have either had a larger or smaller role in the show.

When we were introduced to Adira in Season 2, she was the fairy godmother  that always came when the squad was in distress. She could do everything: she is superhumanly strong and agile, can cook, can effortlessly cut down trees, can survive in the wilderness, knows everything, and is practically perfect. But considering her knowledge of the Sundrop and Moonstone and her past with the Dark Kingdom, I was disappointed that we couldn’t explore more of her character and personality. In Season 3, she just kind of vanished. Considering her amazing abilities, we could’ve explored her character and learned of her weaknesses and backstory in season 3, but we didn’t. She played a lot of parts in Season 2 but almost none in Season 3. I thought Adira was sort of a Mary Sue. She’s perfect on the outside, but we have little knowledge of the inside. To make her a better character, she could’ve either been brought into the light in Season 3, or not given as much attention in Season 2. Either way, she’s an unbalanced character. I like her, but she’s hollow.

6. I like Shorty. 

He’s kind of pointless and it made me roll my eyes when he unintentionally saved the day when other characters *cough* Eugene *cough* could’ve done so, but he also made me laugh a lot. He’s an idiot but fairly harmless otherwise. Also, unlike a lot of things in the show, he’s in character. In the movie, it wasn’t out of character for Shorty to pop up in weird places or save the day without really knowing it (he was one of the ones who helped Eugene break out of prison). The Snuggly Duckling was a major point in the movie and we didn’t see a lot it in the show. While Shorty’s tagging along didn’t contribute anything to society, it kept the Snuggly Duckling present in the show.

7. As much as I love him, I’m not attracted to Eugene.

I think he’s handsome and charming, but I ship him with Rapunzel too much to be in love with him :). I would give anything to have a platonic friend like him, but maybe not a husband.

To be frank, I’m a little creeped out by people who seem to “fall romantically in love” with characters, because they sometimes........well let’s just say that they portray them in a way that makes me incredibly uncomfortable - if you know what I mean. This applies to all characters, but especially to the ones that I like.

8. Varian’s role was too invasive. You’re probably surprised at this, because a lot of fans seem to think that he didn’t get enough of a role and wasn’t put to his full potential. I agree that he is a very elaborate character with a lot of potential, but he was never intended to be a main character, and he shouldn’t have been given a larger perspective and more angst factors than the actual main characters.

After his villain arc, fans started hating Rapunzel because they had sympathy for Varian and accused her of not treating him well, which I hated. It is true that he was in a situation worth having pity on him for, but they expressed a lot more emotional impact from his perspective than from anyone else’s, thus fans only considered his feelings. Rapunzel was going through an extremely difficult time at that moment, too, but it was shown in a less dramatic and sympathyzable way. She almost lost her parents and the man she loved in a snowstorm, while for the first time when she had to make prudent decisions as a leader, the kingdom was in a state of distress. After the storm, her father continued to lie to her, and the reason she never helped him was because he convinced her that Old Corona was under control. All she wanted to do was stabilize herself in a calm state of mind, which was ok, because she didn’t realize that there was more trouble. Even so, she could hardly do so because she was still stressed and traumatized. If these things from her perspective were more clearly presented to the audience, there would’ve been less of a war in the fandom and there probably would’ve been sympathy from both sides. But they wanted to show things from Varian’s point of view, which was valid until he went feral. {He stated in the episode before the finale that he understood that Rapunzel “did what she had to”, and he is clearly intelligent enough to pull things together, but everyone used trauma as an excuse. If he could connive that entire plot where he would kidnap the queen, use a dummy of him, extract the Sundrop’s power, etc. then he clearly was in a sane enough state of mind to put things together, but he didn’t. In Season 3, he admitted that the reason he became a villain was because he had taken his anger too far, after realizing that he was wrong. }

Considering that Rapunzel is the main character and the writers expect us to feel sympathy for her, they should’ve at least made the situation less dramatic from Varian’s point of view. Chris Sonnenburg himself was annoyed with fans who sympathized more for Varian and watched the show for him instead of Rapunzel - but in a way it was his fault for the way he portrayed the situation. I agree with him in the sense that I was annoyed with Varian fans taking over the fandom and demonizing Rapunzel, but it was the crew’s own choice to make Varian such a likable character to so many people.

Although his redemption arc was handled well in my opinion, it was more focused on and important to the show than that of the Father of Tangled Redemption Arc’s - Eugene’s. His redemption arc is the backbone to the entire franchise, but the series didn’t take him seriously, so even though his redemption subtly fell in place in Season 1 especially, I was disappointed that he didn’t have a nice serious episode where his redeemed self shined in the light, while Varian, a secondary character, did. Although not to such an extent, Varian’s role, similar to Cassandra’s was prioritized in the show above the main characters’ and that bothers me.

9. I’d say this one is more under-acknowledged than unpopular, but Cassandra’s existence contradicted Rapunzel’s development rather than bringing out her characteristic “compassion”

Even after all of the horrible things Cassandra did to Rapunzel, to Eugene, and to the kingdom of Corona after deciding to turn evil, she was redeemed. Anyone would’ve stopped pitying her and left her behind, but Rapunzel still cared for her and let her be her friend again. Why? Because the writers tried so hard to convey the message that Rapunzel has compassion for everyone and anything that comes in her path.

It is true and in her character for Rapunzel to be compassionate and humane. The movie conveyed the message that Rapunzel, even after spending so many years unloved and mistreated, loves and has sympathy for everyone. She sees the good in everyone and everything, thus she is capable of redeeming those who have strayed. This characteristic of hers is what caused Eugene to leave behind his past self and find a new life. She didn’t fix him; she opened his soul and brought out the good person who had been hiding inside him for the longest time. The same thing happened to the thugs, other former thieves, and many others. Rapunzel’s compassion and love for others brings the best out of the unlikeliest of people. The way Glen Keane described it, Rapunzel is the representation of humanity.

However, Mother Gothel is the representation of everything that is an obstacle to Rapunzel and her freedom. She gaslight and objectified her by passively claiming that she loved her, and used her as an object to satisfy her own vanity. She never let her express her energetic and adventurous self by locking her inside, and when Rapunzel rebelled, she locked her in chains and took her to the dungeon. Rapunzel’s development can only grow if she is not stifled by chains and abuse, therefore she should avoid Mother Gothel at all costs. But who is this person who, three years later, Rapunzel tries to redeem? The very daughter of Mother Gothel, who is more like a reincarnation of her to be frank. She brought back what Rapunzel was supposed to leave behind. She condescended over her and shamed her for her underdeveloped tendencies before she even betrayed her. She constantly wanted more from her instead of accepting her who she was. She blamed her for her problems and victimized herself. Rapunzel is supposed to be past these things so that she can grow to be a strong and independent woman. Using Cassandra as a permanent villain who Rapunzel would fight against would define her as a developed woman who has moved on from her traumatic past - but it wasn’t like that. Rapunzel pined onto Cassandra despite everything she put her through. The writers tried to use this situation as a way to bring out Rapunzel’s compassion, but it contradicted her self independence and strength.

Rapunzel and Cassandra’s relationship was a toxic one, and it shouldn’t have been portrayed as a good thing at any time in the show, because of it’s disintegration of Rapunzel’s development. Rapunzel is both compassionate and resilient, but because of how poorly the writers handled this, they contradicted both of her character tendencies. It looked more like schizophrenia to be honest: One day Rapunzel resents Cassandra for her actions and fights her with a powerful incantation to keep her away from Eugene; the next day, she sings a song mourning their friendship and expressing how much she wanted her to come back.The way a character’s personality traits are presented is very important. Imagine that you’re at a restaurant where every item uses the same ingredients, but is arranged and composed in a different way. A burger on a bun with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and ketchup would be delicious and appealing; however, a hamburger and cheese smoothie with chunks of lettuce and tomatoes floating in it and ketchup drizzled on top would be nauseating and a horrible idea (sorry for the ridiculous comparison but hopefully it gets the point across). Even though the two items have the same composition, one of them works and the other doesn’t. Rapunzel is both compassionate and resilient, but the writers made a contradicting mess out of these two tendencies because they made them clash.

10.. It annoys me when people think Eugene overreacts to things. He’s neither whiny nor childish. He’s a realistic person in a crazy world, who can’t help but be upset about certain things.

Let’s face it, he’s been through a lot, and all things considered, he’s very tolerant and resilient. He’s the most realistic character in terms of skepticism and trust issues, and that’s something I’ve always loved about him. In situations where nobody’s in danger and things are fairly normal, he tends to “overreact” to minor things, but in dangerous and serious situations, he is the first person to stand up and help people. If he was a shrimpy, whiny wimp who can’t handle things, he wouldn’t have willingly died to save someone, led a rescue squad to save the king and queen in a dangerous situation, decided to live with his former abuser to save someone who was dying, or willingly accepted his role as a captain and lead the safety of the kingdom.

If you were abandoned by your father and ended up as a poor orphan who became a criminal to fend for yourself, it’s only human to not immediately feel inclined to accept him into your life, especially considering his apparently whimsical and unconcerned personality. By the end of the episode, he himself realized that his father kept in touch with him and by the end of the show, came to understand his motive for abandoning him. Nobody forced him to see the good in his father. He realized it by his own effort. When his father gave him a gift at the end, he was the first to hug him, showing that he had come to accept him willingly.

If for generations, your family has dedicated and lost their lives to destroying a dangerous object that has caused a lot of deaths and destruction, and you break your trust with your girlfriend to protect her from it; then when you finally allow her to take it when her jealousy-driven handmaiden takes it with every intention to kill her - of course you are going to resent that woman and be upset that your girlfriend still cares about bringing her back, (especially considering you weren’t keen on her in the first place). Even though Cass didn’t deserve it, he still patiently put up with and respected Rapunzel’s opinion of her despite obviously still disliking her. That doesn’t show that he was happy about it, but that he patiently tolerated situations that he didn’t agree with.

Imagine that the only comfort and security that you had for 15 years was your fake reputation as a different character, despite knowing it wasn’t a good one, and you find it difficult to let him go because you still can’t help but wish you were as established and “successful” as he was. Then some cocky twerp that looks exactly like you comes along, dresses exactly like you and uses the same name as you did, and repeated everything that you were proud to accomplish but only better, and is liked by your friends better than you ever were. Despite the fact that your former identity wasn’t a good one, it was the only thing you had and the only thing you could find pride and joy in because you had a low self esteem about your actual self. I can certainly say that if I met someone like Brock Thunderstrike but a copy of me instead of him, I wouldn’t be happy at all. But in the end, although he obviously resented and was jealous of him, Eugene disinterestedly told him that he saw potential in him, and allowed him to find his own identity.

Eugene is one of the most realistic characters that I’ve ever seen, but he lives in unusual circumstances that he’s not used to. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that he can’t immediately see something, because all’s well that ends well - and in the end, he always makes a just decision.

{There was one more that I wanted to post but I thought it would be too conflicting so I didn’t.}

If you agree with some of these but not others, that’s fine! After all, these are unpopular opinions and I’d be lucky if anyone agreed with them.

Again, thanks for the ask!

i know there is and will continue to be a lot of controversy about the hate crime scene, so if you don’t want to read this post because you won’t agree with me criticizing it, then don’t read it, don’t clown on it, just don’t interact and move on with your day, i’m not taking names and hunting people down for their opinions especially when i do not personally know most of you.

obligatory statement: i’m not cis, not het, not white. do not be a bigot on this post :)

i remember very clearly the night that clip dropped + literally spending the next 2 or 3 days scrolling through the tag to read every single post in there to gather all of the opinions that i could find, everything from people who had been following the season from the very first second of the first episode, to people who were only casual viewers, who had not offered commentary before that point and only came out to share their opinions after the enormous shock wave that clip generated throughout the fandom. i don’t even think that sander running out of the hotel in episode 8 caused nearly as much of an uproar, mostly because the majority of us knew that was coming (though i do remember the outrage that we didn’t see robbe find him until it was past midnight, which is also completely understandable).

over those next few days and the following weeks, i saw the full spectrum of opinions continue to expand as more and more people gradually processed what they had seen and began to come to their own conclusions about it, especially those, like mine, with many layers of conflicting emotions. some even shared their own stories that were deeply personal and brave and heart-wrenching and hope-giving. what was pretty universal, however, was that no one saw the hate crime coming. it wasn’t in og, it hasn’t been done in any other remake, there was no hint or warning whatsoever that it was imminent. i know part of that is probably the production thinking that was an appropriate way to show how something like that can unfold in real life. do i agree with how that decision was made? ultimately, no. i’m sure that plenty of you also share that opinion to some extent. i’m sure that many of you also excuse, turn a blind eye to, or even defend the hate crime’s necessity and importance. i’ve said before that it’s not a black-and-white situation and i continue to stand by that. i also stand by the opinion that the writers handled the execution poorly even if they had good intentions. intention ≠ impact. there should have been a trigger warning. there should have been a better and more assertive resolution in the following episodes, like there was for zoë’s season (which was very well done and makes me confused why they didn’t give robbe the same treatment but i digress)

“but iT’S REALISTIC—” yes, it’s realistic that gay people experience violence for being gay. no one is denying that this stuff happens. but the aftermath of the incident, which robbe discussed only briefly twice with milan (and senne, but robbe never told him the full truth of what happened) and then was not addressed further, even when it was at some points clearly mirroring zoë’s struggle with testifying against viktor? that was not realistic. i recognize the very real possibility that they are going to drag the assault into s4 to show how robbe’s storyline impacts however they’ve written yasmina’s arc, but whatever they have planned for her honestly terrifies me to no end because we have never had an adequate sana season that does the muslim main justice. i am including og in this, for those of you who have not seen it. i’m sure that many of you who have seen skamfr s4 and druck s4 agree with me. it goes without saying that i believe they should have addressed the assault before robbe’s season actually ended in order to minimize the amount of interference that he would cause in yasmina’s season. don’t mistake this as me hating on robbe; he is one of my favorite isaks hands down. i can simultaneously love his character and hate what the writers did with him.

“but wiLLEM SAID—” first of all, if you yourself are straight and you are pulling willem’s words from the article to defend your opinion, i want you to step back from the situation and examine the details a little further. willem herbots, for all the speculation that has gone on, has now stated outright with no ambiguity that he is straight. i do not deny his talent as an actor; anyone who follows and reads my tags knows that i have many times before praised his skill in portraying robbe as intimately as he did in s3. but the hard pill to swallow for a lot of you is that by being straight, he lacks the inherent nuance that only personal experiences and struggles with sexual identity can bring to a character whose arc literally revolves around internalized homophobia and coming out. no amount of research can help him understand robbe’s character the way a gay actor would. and to be clear, this is not a moral condemnation against him; i’m not blaming willem for being straight, which is a wild thing to have to state lmao but you never know with tumblr. i do harbor the same sort of apprehension that i harbor towards any straight actor who plays gay roles regardless of their reasoning behind it (most of it falls somewhere along the lines of “i wanted to challenge myself” which honestly is such bullshit to me). but, to my knowledge, we have never had a single male isak who was played by an actor who is lgbt+ irl (i’m not counting skamesp because lucas doesn’t fit the original mold since he’s both isak and eskild, sorry if you have a problem with that), so i’m not exactly surprised that wtfock hasn’t broken that mold. saying all that, i do think he is incredibly sensitive and compassionate for his age and amount of experience, and it is rare to see someone answer questions with the kind of sincerity that comes through even in what appears to me is a fluff piece that is meant to please readers rather than present the most objective truths.

i will link a post here that pretty succinctly sums up my view on what willem stated about the hate crime and about how this interview happened in the first place, but something that i did notice that no one afaik has talked about: notice how willem uses I-statements to answer literally every single question in the interview up until he’s asked about the assault, where he slips almost too obviously into the royal “we” that is often characteristic of pre-fabricated answers: “The only moment we really showed... but we really wanted to show the harsh reality of being out...  it’s not something we wanted to ignore in WtFOCK.” in the same paragraph, he uses “we” 3 times, where at no point before he had done so. of course, it’s possible that he did say it at other points and those sentences simply didn’t make the final cut for the article, but i still think it’s pretty telling that all of his other answers are so grounded in his personal, individual thoughts and experiences, but that specific response is so stilted and formal it’s almost awkward. it’s very likely that he was regurgitating an answer that was fed to him from higher up, precisely because the production knew from fan responses that it would come up in any self-respecting interviewer’s questions. these are very basic PR procedures within the industry; willem, at the end of the day, is a paid actor on a show that is still in production and is bound very tightly by his contract. do not expect at any point that what he states about wtfock is fully his own opinion, as whatever he says will reflect on the show’s reputation. this is also, more importantly, why you cannot automatically associate the words and actions of a production with the words and actions of its actors; i seriously doubt that willem h or any of the other cast members personally agree with everything the show has done, but i can tell you with absolute certainty that they are contract-bound to not share their full opinions while the show is still in production. he nor any of the other actors wouldn’t be allowed to criticize writing decisions even if they wanted to. finally, please note that i am in no way trying to lessen the impact of willem answering this question in this way, fabricated or not; i am only trying to present all the facts as objectively as i can because i’ve seen 50 posts today worshipping him for giving answers that likely did not come from his own actual brain. i am asking for a little of the same objectivity in return from you all.

finishing on a personal-ish sidenote: but i have never been more aware than in this moment how completely at odds the druck and wtfock fandoms are, like i knew during the run of robbe’s season, from some replies i was getting on posts and anons in my inbox, that it seems impossible to some people that people can like (and criticize) both shows. but now in the wake of this article, it really goes to show that both sides are ready at a moment’s notice to fight each other over matters that do not need to be fought about. we can all just talk through things and try to see each other’s perspectives and, sometimes, yes, agree to disagree. for a show that preaches “everything is love” left and right, certain people really do not seem to take that message to heart. just to be clear, im not saying that you should lie down and take people’s bullshit, but i am saying that we should hear each other out more instead of jumping to conclusions based on thirdhand information.

in conclusion: no show/film/book/other form of media is perfect and we should be allowed to bring attention to their problematic aspects without being accused of blindly hating on the aforementioned medium overall.

tl;dr criticism ≠ hate, take what willem said with a grain of salt, the assault scene is not black and white, im fuckin exhausted

Happier

Orc x reader Request: an orc x reader (cause I love your orc stuff). I don’t know what tho, but a nice orc who just wants the reader to be happy but shes a messenger or something so only comes to see him now and again. Maybe the readers attacked by another orc and hes scared it might make her never want to see him again. You sat in the small carriage, watching the area around you, your documents on your lap. You were traveling from the council set up in the mainly human dominated city of Revelanty to the orc dominated town of Arganintia. It was about a days travel by horse drawn carriages so in comparison to the rest of the councils connections, it was relatively close. You worked for the council, whos main aim was to keep peace between towns and races. This extended past just Orcs and Humans. There was Dwarfs, Goblins, Elves, Terants and more. For the most part, most species kept to themselves, often having colonies, towns or tribes that they would stay in, excluding Goblins who liked to rotate their ground and moved to different parts with each season depending on their needs. Humans and Orcs had a slightly different relationship. For the most part, there was peace however, both sides had groups that still harboured resentment over a war that finished just over 200 years ago. For this reason, it was very important to the council to maintain a healthy relationship with the leader of Arganintia. Their leader was a fair and wise one whos name was Arigni. You knew they referred to him as a king and you understood why. You met with him and his own council at least twice a week, discussing many things such as trade deals, land, any issues with residents in either town, it just depends on what the needs are. Arigni had a small council of 4 other Orcs (known as the Kings Trust), who you were proud to say you shared a friendship with. Elekin was an older Orc, with the darkest green skin you had ever seen on a Orc. It was so dark, he could easily be lost in the dark. But he was a nice enough Orc, who had seen one to many battles in his life and had the scars to show it. This didn’t stop him from telling you of his adventures, something you found interesting. Azekin took the longest to warm up to you at first. He was a warrior in every sense of the word and wasted no time in showing someone this. Originally, he had been on the kings guard and raised through the ranks to the kings personal guard as well as a Kings trust. He was the tallest in the Trust by a good foot. All Orcs towered over you, with most standing at 9 foot tall. But combining that with his large, muscly body made him very intimidating. One of his tusks was chipped off the top and he had a number of facial piercings as well as s large, dark beard. You had been fearful of him for the longest time, until one time, he protected you from a angry and rather drunk Orc who resented humans. From then on, he was as much your protector as he was the kings. Gaakt was a close friend of the king, and had earned his way onto the Trust through dedication to the king. He was known for having a silver tongue, something you and him shared. He also seemed to be the one who found out things. If there was so much as a small fight, he knew. He had close connections in the town which meant 9 out of 10 times, it was easy to stop something. Krothu was the brains of the Trust. He was by far the most intelligent Orc you had ever met. He had a deep love for the history of most Humans and Orcs as well as for books. Of everyone, you got on with him the best and most. He was very different to most Orcs you knew, more a gentle giant. Other Orcs showed a lot of aggression and anger. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was just the culture. They would resolve things with fists while Krothu used words. He was big, not as tall as Azekin, but just as muscular. Like most Orcs, he had tattoos, the majority of which was up his right arm and were marking you knew were important to the culture. He had a number of piercings in his ear like many but he kept his facial hair to a minimum. The hair on his head was long, falling in dreadlocks to his shoulders, unlike both Gaakt and Azekin who had rather short but spiked hair. He wore a neckless that was a symbol of the Trust, made up of bones and normally wore shirts unlike the working male orcs in the town who would go topless, much to the pleasure of the Orcess’s. The two of you got along so well, you would now stay with him when you visited, rather than in the kings guest rooms. You were their connection to the main Council and they had a lot of trust in you as you had shown them that you work to help them and make sure they are happy just as much as you did the council. Once, there had been a dispute of an Orc living in Revelanty who had been ambushed by a group of men. For obvious reason, the Orc community had been in uproar about one of their own being injured and demanded blood. The Council had refused to hand the men over to the Orcs which had nearly caused another war, one which was only stopped when you stepped in. You addressed the council while Arigini and the Trust were there. You asked the council what they would expect as a reasonable punishment if you had been attacked while on duty in Arganintia. Of course, the council would have wanted a harsher punishment because you worked for them, but it was through your negotiations (mainly on Arignis side) that the men would serve a life sentence held within the prisons of Verni, known for its strict prisoner ways. From that moment on, you were the Orc Kings courtier in all aspects of relations between the two city’s. Today, you were delivering contracts for the trade of animal stock and the King had asked to speak to you about possible issues regarding a Goblin camp near by. however, it was late and it had been a horrible day. The rain had not stopped since the morning and had added 4 to 5 hours to the journey. It was always agreed that if you arrived after sunset, you could go straight to Krothu’s and rest, the business can always wait till morning. you felt the carriage pull to a steady halt and looked out the window, seeing you were now at his home. He lived a little outside the town, preferring the country to the constant noise of the town. His home was similar to a small cottage and was just a lovely. Grabbing your bags you hopped out the door, seeing the two Orcs, Renti and Krih (brothers) who had driven the carriage about to climb out from their small compartment that covered them from rain. They were always the ones to come and escort you to and from the town, so you knew them well. In fact, you often met with their wife’s for lunch on your free days and enjoyed the company of their family’s. “Do not worry. Go home and dry off. I apologies for the dreadful weather you had to endure for me.” You smiled, reaching into your pocket and pulling out 3 coins each to give to them. They were already paid by the king but you wanted to compensate. Both smile at the gift. “Thanks, always ah pleasure.” Krih smiled, nodding his head before setting off in the carriage. you darted to the door, the documents held close to your chest in one hand and your bag hooked on your elbow. Knocking on the door, you didn’t have to wait long before it was flung open. “[y/n], I feared the storm might have taken you.” A deep but comforting voice spoke, filled with fear as you were pulled inside. “Im sorry. The horses got a fright from the lightening earlier, so we had to stop.” You told him, smiling at how much he worried for you. He returned your smile and you reached up, wrapping your arms around him to greet him with a hug. He was the only Orc you knew who you would hug straight away. With the Trust and king, you would always wait to see if they initiated it first. His tusks rubbed against your shoulder as he returned the greeting, making you smile. At first, you found the tusks very intimidating and rather frightening, but as you got used to the orcs and became friends with many, you found they were a massive part of the culture. Some of the younger Orcs pierced their tusks, but you didn’t really like the idea. As far as you’re understand was of the tusks, they were similar to teeth but didn’t have the same sort of sensitivity, more a mixture of bone and tooth. But you could never have a tooth pierced. pulling back, your bag was taken from your arm and Krathu walked through his home, pacing it in the spare bedroom. His door opened straight into his living area, which was filled with books, maps, documents, etc. He had a bookcase on every wall and in the centre of the room was a couple of comfy chairs, a large sofa and a table. In the fireplace was a fire while was very inviting so you walked over to him, kneeling down in front of the flame to warm up. Your long dress was damp, but not fully wet. “Do you have anywhere I can put these documents?” You asked as he came back. He nodded and was quick to take them and took them through to a room you know to be his study. You watched him leave, biting down on your lower lip. Over the years, you had grown extremely fond of him, more than you cared to tell anyone. It wasn’t unheard-of for humans and orcs to be together in a romantic fashion, but not two so high in the ranks as yourself. Signing to yourself, you started to take off your coat. “Is everything okay?” Krathu asked, his voice making you jump since you didn’t realise he had came back. You pulled your coat back on, but you didn’t know why. You were staying the night. “Of course.” You smiled, getting to your feet as he approached you. He walked around you, his large fingers reaching up and hooking under the collar of your coat, pulling it up and off your shoulder. You allowed the clothing to fall, smiling at his gentle nature as he took the coat and hung it up to dry. For the next hour, you settled in. You went and changed your dress and when you returned, there was a lovely smelling coming from the kitchen. Curiously, you followed your nose to see a hot bowl of stew on the kitchen table, a spoon at the side and Krath setting a glass of water down on the table. He looked up at you and you jumped. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your dinner. I shall be in my room.” You nodded and started to back to your room when a loud laugh filled your ears and an arm was wrapped around your waist, lifting you up and carrying you back through to the kitchen. “Its your dinner, not mine.” Kruth laughed as he sat you down in the chair. You couldn’t help but smile as you ate the stew, savouring every mouthful. He was good to you, very good in fact. Better than any man had ever been. And as you ate, you couldn’t help but glance over to him, wondering if his kindness towards you was purly political. Or if he cared for you as deeply as you did for him. ------------------time skip -------------------- It had been another long day. You and Krath had left just after sunrise and been in meeting after meeting. The rest of the council had been happy you had made it safely and securely to the kingdom but also feared for your return to your home. The storm had only gotten worse, so you decided to go and see Krih and his wife, Freha, to see if he’d be okay in delaying your return. Krath had had to finish some work up with the king so stayed and agreed to meet you at his house again later for supper. it was just after dark when you turned the corner, seeing Krih and Frehas home at the end of the street. But before you could smile and head there, large hands grabbed your arms and you were pulled into a back alley. “Disgusting human.” A voice snarled in your ear as you struggled against the darkess holding you. “Freha!” You cried out just as a large hand clamped over your mouth. He manged to hold both your hands behind your back as the free one covered your mouth. “Shut up!” It snarled and you managed to turn your head to a large orc towering over you, his eyes bringing with a fresh hatred for you. You struggled against him as you tried to scream out into the night, hoping that someone might hear you. “Filthy human. In my town.” He grunted, his voice low and rough as he pulled you further into the alley way. His hand let go of your arms just as the hand which covered your mouth darted to your neck and wrapped around it easily, squeezing hard. Your air was cut off and you used your hands to try and pry at his hand. Trying to get him to release you. but as he did this, he lifted you off the ground easily. Your legs were kicking helplessly below you. You saw something come around the side of your head and it glinted in the moon light. A knife. You screamed into his hand, panic finally setting in as you started to move as far away from the knife as possible. You shook your head, your eyes welling with tears as you gasped and gagged for air but nothing came. The knife moved closer to your chest, closer to where your heart was. He moved the knife so the point was pointing at you, then he raised it to the skin of your cheek and started to dig it in. Not by much. Not enough to pierce right through your cheek but enough to draw blood. “Human skins so easy to pierce.” He chuckled evilly in your ear. As you tried to pull the knife away, you slashed the palm of your right hand open but he merely cackled. He moved the knife down about 2 inches before pulling it away, the fresh cut on your cheek pulsing with pain as your tears hit it. He then moved the blade over the skin over your collar bone, which was only just visible from your dress. To left another wound, this time 4 or 5 inches. You closed your eyes for a moment until you felt the knife slash at your left side just below your ribs, cutting your dress and the skin underneath. Once again, not enough to kill or even be a threat, but enough to hurt and make you want to cry out in more pain. Then he brought the knife back to your heart. this was it. He was going to kill you. you scrambled even harder but your movements were becoming limp. The blood from your palm now covered your jaw and his hand as you tried to pry it away and failed. “[y/n]!” A voice from the end of the alley way and you looked up to see Freha standing with her hands covering her mouth. Then there was a loud “Thwack” from behind you and you were dropped to the ground. You gasped for air, rolling onto your back as sobs left your throat from the pain you were in. Your whole body felt like it was numb and you couldn’t do anything but scream as you tried to process what was happeniend. Your side and hand were on fire and you thought you might pass out from everything. “Shhh honey, its okay. You’re safe now.” You heard Freha hush as she appeared above you, falling to her knees and pulling your head onto her lap. Her eyes were filled with tears. You looked to where your attacker had been to see him now lying on the ground, unconscious, Krih behind him with a large club. You managed to sit yourself up a little, scrambling closer to Freha who wrapped her arms around you. “Hey! You okay down there?” “Whats all this noise?” “Whats going on?” A new voice called from the end of the alley at both sides. “Go get Kruth and the rest of the council. [y/n]’s been attacked!” Krih called out, his voice shaking as he dropped the bat to run over to you. “We gotta get her to a medic.” He mumbled, his eyes falling on your cuts and your throat which must have had bruising on it. “No, not yet. The council will need to see her first. And shes been through enough right now. She needs orcs she can trust right now. I’ll take her back to ours. Help me?” Freha knew exactly what you needed and knew you were too weak to stand by yourself. Krih nodded and moved to pick you up like a bride. You managed to catch a look at your body as he did so. You had blood splattered across your light blue dress. A number looked like hand prints from your slashed hand and there was a substantial pool of blood around the cut at the bottom of your ribs. You were starting to feel tiered and were extremely weak so your head just lolled back as you were lifted bridal style. You were carried out the alley and you saw there was a number of orcs had come out their houses and now were watching you, their eyes wide and some even covering their mouth. “Who could have done this to her?” Some male orc mumbled. “Poor wee thing.” A older female orc shook her head and you saw her walk to Freha who followed her husband. The old orc asked if she needed any help and this prompted a lot of the orcs to ask the same thing, but Freha shook her head, explaining what she had said to Krih a second ago. You looked behind you and Krih and saw two orcs hauling your unconscious attacker from the alley way and throwing him ungracefully into the road. “Tie his hands behind his back. Make sure he doesn’t get away!” Krih called over his shoulder as he came to his house. Freha darted in front of you both to open the door to their house. Once inside, he lay you on the table. You tried to sit up but Freha put her hands on your shoulders and gently pushed you back down. “You gotta rest, sweetie. We’ll take care of you. I promise.” She took your hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.” You said in a weak voice as Krih walked back out the house, most likely to deal with your attacker. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to try and calm down while Freha ran up stairs and grabbed a pillow and cover. You were covered with the thin blanket and she lifted your hair to slip the pillow under your neck. Then she got to work with warm water and cleaned your cuts which stung but you managed to supress your cries. “Im only gonna clean you up just now. Im sorry, honey. But the councils coming. And they’ll have to see how bad it was.” She spoke with an air of guilt but you just shook your head a little and smiled despite the pain. “Thank you. you saved me.” You opened your eyes to look at her. “Of course! You’re like my family.” She sat down at a chair and took your good hand in both of hers, leaning her head against your hand. “You’re my sister.” You mumbled, smiling and squeezing her hand. She really was. You and her had grown very very close over the last few years. “And you are mine.” She smiled softly. For a while, the two of you spoke, mainly so she could make sure you were still awake. There was a crowd gathered outside the house and it sounded like it was getting aggressive. For a while, you thought (dreaded) it was anger at you. but then Krih came in and said the street was angry they weren’t allowed to attack your attacker. it must have only been 10 minutes later when you heard the crowd become quiet and the kings voice sounded frantic. “Where is she?” Someone must have told him where you were because just as Freha stood up the door was swung open. Arigni, Elekin, Azekin, Gaakt and Krath stormed in but once inside, they froze. Their eyes fell on your body, which was still weak and you knew you wouldn’t be able to sit up properly. If you weren’t feeling as weak, you might have felt embarrassed. You had always tried your best to be strong in front of them, show them you were a force to be reckoned with and that you could be relied on. but now, all you could do was close your eyes and turn your head from then, tears starting to burn again. “I’ll kill that orc!” Azekin growled, his voice at a level of anger and rage you had never heard before. “No! He will face justice, that much is certain. But right now, we have to tend to her.” Arigni voice was strong and held the weight to stop one of his greatest warriors from running out the door with an axe. “How bad is it?” “Pretty bad, your highness. We heard her shout and ran out. He’d pulled her down an alley way and was holding her up by her neck like a doll. He’d cut her several times at her side, hand face and he had the knife ready to pierce her heart when I saw them. God, he was strangling her! He knew either way she’d be dead. Didn’t think I’ll ever forget how her body dropped to the floor. Lifeless. Thought she were dead!” Freha breaks down and starts to sob. Your eyes open wide. You had never seen her cry. Like many Orcess, she was strong and tough, but now she was weeping by your side. you reached out and took her hand again which she must have dropped when they came in. squeezing her hand, you smiled at her. “Im not.” You managed to say, your voice horse from being strangled. “Can you sit up, little one?” Elekin appeared beside you, making you jump a little. You didn’t answer but made the effort to try. Letting go of Freha hand, you tried to push yourself up, but there was a sharp pain from the gasp on your stomach, which made you cry out in pain and squeeze your eyes shut. Two set of hands support your back, Freha and Elekin. Slowly, they lowered you back down. “I’ll take her back to mine. She needs to rest.” Kruthus voice was shaking and sounded extremely strained, making you look over at him. “allow me a few minutes to dress the wounds first.” Freha didn’t ask, she told them. During this time, she showed the full extent of your injuries to the king and his council. You moved between having your eyes open and closing them over when pain or embarrassment was too much. But you noticed one thing. Kruthus eyes kept trailing back to your neck. You knew there would be bruising there, and in the shape of a hand. Once you were wrapped up, you started to sit up but were then scooped into large, muscular arms. “Im sure I can walk.” You tried to protest, but you were tiered and weak, so it came out as more of a whimper. “Im sure you can. But I can not allow it.” Kruthu spoke with a gentle kindness in his voice that made you smile and lay you head on his shoulder. He had always smelled to you like home. You could never quite put you finger on what it was, but you didn’t mind. He carried you outside and into a carriage that was directly outside the door. You were too weak to say goodbye but felt Freha quickly take your hand and squeeze it reassuringly. It seemed the council were going to stay and interrogate the orc who had attacked you, so it was only you and Kruthu in the carriage. He never put you down, instead having you on his lap. “Are we going home?” you asked, your eyes falling shut as you tried to fight the sleepy feeling, but you could tell it was winning. “No, I can arrange for you to travel home tomorrow but-“ He started but you let out a small giggle. “No, no, no. I mean your home.” You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head slightly as you looked up at him. A soft smile dawned his handsome features. “Yes, we’re going home.” He smiles down at you. For the brief moment before you nodded off, you weren’t in pain anymore. You couldn’t be, not when he smiled at you like that. ---------------------time skip------------------------ You woke and it was still dark. The door to your bedroom was open and the only light was from the soft fire in the living room. Sitting up, you noticed your side didn’t hurt nearly as much as you had remembered it. You were also in a nightgown and with a new quilt over your bed. It was one you recognised as Frehas one she used. It was a tradition in their house that when one of the children were ill or sick, they go this blanket and it helped them get better. But something drew you out of the bed and towards the door. In the living room was Kruthu. He stood over his dining table which was covered in books. All lying open and overlapping each other. A disgruntled sign left his lips as he leaned over them, searching multiple books for an answered he seemed not to be able to find. “Kruthu?” You called out his name softly, not wanting to startle him but you didn’t have the desired effect. Instead he jumped, a book he had been holding seeming to jump from his grip and land on the floor with a bang. “You’re awake.” He looked at you like you were a ghost before moving quickly across the room to you. “You shouldn’t be up. You need to rest.” but as he drew closer, he stopped himself before he was within a metres distance from you. You repeated his name, stepping closer to him, unsure why he had stopped. When you had fallen ill a few years ago, he had ushered you back to bed with a hand gently on your back. Even when he brought you here, in was in the embrace of his arms. Something you sorely needed right now but couldn’t ask for. Your cheeks suddenly felt like they were on fire and you were unable to hold his gaze. But your reaction seemed to be one he fear. Kruthu backed away from you. “I am deeply sorry.” He said, his voice deep and sounding pained. But your gaze snapped up to him. Looking up, you saw he hung his head, his shoulders hunching over themselves. “Why?” you asked, completely confused by his actions. “I could never hurt you. I just want you to know that.” He speaks to the floor before retreating to his room quickly and closing the door over. “I know.” You said to the empty room, your brows knitted together with confusion. Deciding to investigate, you cross over to the table. All the books that were overflowing the table were books of law. Both human and Orc law. Btu they were all opened ot assault, battery and grievous body harm and the minimum sentencing for these. The worse sentence seemed to be 5 years within a prison. You cheeks flared up with rage. Surly the orc who had attacked you would get longer than that?! Looking at the floor, you picked up the book. Kruthu had marked the page he had been on by folding the corner of it down, so you found it quite quickly. The page read that if a member of the royal council or a significant other was assaulted or feared for their life, then the sentencing could be increased to whatever the party deemed necessary. Technically, you weren’t part of the council so you were confused when you re read the page. Until your eyes fell on one part in particular. Significant other. A partner, wife, husband, lover or engaged to. It didn’t matter. It would give the king the fullest power to punish your attacker and get you justice. But there was a flaw in that idea. Looking down, you noticed a letter under a book. The letter was from Freha. You skimmed over the letter before a passage caught your eye. “she adores you. It could not be a lie if you speak to her and tell her the truth. Shes stronger than you think. You could simply say it was kept a secret because of the positions you both hold in the court. I would testify as a witness and say she had told me in confidence. I can assure you that her feeling towards our race and towards you will not change. Her confidence might be knocked, but she is far too kind for her own good sometimes. Your worries are misplaced. You have said yourself that your love for her has grown. The council can see that, as can the people. No one would think twice if it came out that you and she were courting.” You blinked quickly. There was more to the letter but you could barely read it. You needed to speak to Kruthu. Placing the letter down, you walked over to his bedroom and knocked on the door before walking in. It was more of a warning than a request. This took him by surprise because he had been sitting on his bed, with his head in his hands but once you entered, he sprung up. “I know you would never hurt me.” You smiled, standing directly in front of him as you reach out to cup his cheek. You ran your thumb under his eye which showed he was very tired. his eyes fluttered close at your touch, seemingly reviling in the soft moment. he rose his own hand to cover your hand before moving it to kiss your palm and then back to his cheek. “would you have thought of marrying me? Before all this?” You ask, drawing his eyes open to look up at you. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t.” He breathed, as if scared of how you might respond. “And you’d never lie to me.” You smiled, saying it more as a statement than a question. “Never.” Kruthu shook his head a single time, looking up at you. “Good.” You smile, as you slide down so you were perched on his right knee. He instantly wrapped his free arm around your waist to keep your steady. “I’d never lie to you.” “I know.” Kruthu smiled with a sense of pride as he looked at you. “So, the letter? Will you explain it?” you ask, cocking your head to the side as you pull your hand away for his cheek but quickly take his hand that had been covering your and holding it on your lap. “I don’t think an orc as been so hated by its own kind in a while. But theres only so much we can do legally. Since you’re human.” He looks away, seeming embarrassed to have to point this out. “And if I were courting you?” You ask, ducking your head to guide his eyes back to your own. “The full powers of the sentencing could be enforced.” He tells you. “And it would certainly improve relations between orcs and humans. Since word of what happened to me and what the council did would earn great respect from them.” You nod a little. “Theres only one problem.” Kruthu says, making you frown a little. “What?” you ask. “I need to know you would want this, regardless of whats happened. I cannot bare to force you to stay with me. I adore you, [y/n], and I would certainly do everything in my power to be a good husband for you. but I need to know you would want this.” He spoke with a sort of desperate desire as he held you a little tighter than he had before. his eyes begged you for an answer. “I’ll always want you.” You whisper to him, finally voicing a secret you had kept to yourself for a long time. Kruthus breath hitched as he stared at you in awe before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours in a desperate kiss. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, holding him close and you kissed him back with equal passion and desire. After that day, it was told that Kruthu had been courting you for a while. May vouched for your closeness and how they believed you. You moved to be with Kruthu, as a permanent member of the kings council, in charge of human relations and business deals. And you found a loving and doting husband, who adored you to the moon and back. That orc had tried to take your life, but he had actually given you everything you ever wanted. And you had never been happier.

1/4 / INTP, having trouble communicating with IxFJ boyfriend because we respond differently when stressed. He likes to talk through his problems with me right after they happen as it helps him destress. Im happy to listen but personally like to distract myself from a problem first, solve it when I have a detached view, then talk about it later. This created a rift between us. He has a habit of venting in the car after work, then asking me about my problems.

[con’t: But rehashing difficulties when I haven’t resolved them stresses me worse so I don’t go into detail. Even though I have explained to him that venting does not help me like it helps him, he interprets this as me being secretive, not trusting him with my problems and thinking of him as weak for talking about problems out loud (his words). I have never said or implied this. But though he complains about this, he also doesn’t take me seriously when I ask for help. He said its because “he didn’t think it was urgent because I didn’t look stressed”. It’s true, I am not very expressive, but I know this, so I try to make my requests very clear. Ex: “please help me with these forms due tomorrow, I am under pressure”, but he takes it lightly until I’m stressed to tears, only then does he realize the problem is serious. This also happens when we argue. He says if I look and talk so calm, I must not care, even if I say I’m upset. or when I’m under pressure and trying to distract myself with my hobbies, he assumes I’m wasting time. Am I misinterpreting him or doing something wrong? He only seems to take me seriously after I’m past my breaking point, but I don’t want to be pushed there every time I need to make my needs clear. Do you have advice for communicating with him? Thanks.]

It seems you are trying your best but the message isn’t getting through because he’s prone to making assumptions about you due to projecting his own worldview (i.e. expecting you to be the same as him). Additionally, if auxiliary Fe isn’t well-developed, a person is more likely to misread emotional cues. It is difficult to communicate with someone when you always have to break through the wall of their faulty assumptions. Unless he’s willing to acknowledge this problem and work on it directly, I doubt it will improve on its own. However, there are still aspects of the problem that are well within your power to address.

I was once told about an intp who suffered a devastating loss of a loved one. As you said, intps like to process and solve problems on their own, so everyone around him left him to grieve and process on his own. After some time had passed and he was back on his feet, he complained about how no one stepped up to help him and he felt like he didn’t have any real friends or support. Of course, this was kind of insulting to his friends because they made great efforts to set aside their natural inclination to get involved in order to allow him to do things at his own pace on his own terms. In other words, they were trying to show him that they understood him and respected his natural self-sufficiency, but he perceived it as quite the opposite. He wasn’t able to communicate to them what was really happening and what he really needed from them, so they could only guess at what to do. Hopefully, this simple but very common example illuminates how intps contribute to the problem of being misunderstood. Individuals of every type encounter communication problems that manifest from their own development issues. There are two major stumbling blocks in communication that intps tend to be unaware of due to their development issues:

1) Poor attentiveness to detail (from lack of Si development). Ns don’t like details because oftentimes they don’t have a good grasp of them; they have messy minds in that respect. Therefore, when they communicate, they don’t get detailed enough and they don’t explain well enough. This easily creates an unconscious expectation that other people should be mindreaders who are able to “connect the dots” and fill in everything you haven’t said out loud - this is an unreasonable expectation. You have to accept the fact that different people think differently, otherwise, you’ll always have trouble communicating. You can always work on being more detailed and try to provide fuller explanations. For example, when you say, “I am under pressure”, try to give a FULL STORY, in an ORDERLY fashion from beginning to end, that details exactly why you are under pressure AND what the consequences will be should you fail to meet your goal or remain under too much pressure. Now, if after reading that sentence, your kneejerk reaction is that people are stupid if they can’t understand what being under pressure means, then you are falling into the trap of expecting people to magically know everything that you know about your situation. When you are detailed and give full explanations, people take you more seriously because they have a fuller and deeper understanding of where you’re coming from. In other words, people understand you better when you help them understand. This is especially important when the other person is your functional opposite (i.e. your higher functions are their lower functions). The two of you are speaking different languages, therefore, translation is often necessary.

2) Expressing facts or thoughts rather than feelings (due to lack of Fe development). Ts often don’t understand what it means to express feelings explicitly. Let me play devil’s advocate and interpret your words through an FJs ears: “I am under pressure” is not an expression of feeling but rather a statement of fact. The problem with this statement is that it’s quite common to be under pressure, especially in work-related contexts, and it’s normal to feel under pressure when you have deadlines or a lot on your plate. Furthermore, if I’ve observed you to consistently handle pressure very well most of the time, then “I am under pressure” is no big deal, right? There is nothing in this statement that really conveys abnormal levels of urgency, so the statement doesn’t do enough to make clear your exact emotional state. 

It’s always better to use the word “feel” in your sentence when you want to convey your emotional state, e.g., “I am feeling very stressed right now and I need help” is much more to the point. If you want people to take your emotions seriously, you have to take them seriously enough to convey them effectively via explicit feeling statements. Feeling statements express your urgency but also, more importantly, your vulnerability to pain, and that is what makes it easier for FJs to move quickly from passive sympathizing into active helping. When FJs feel that you are in pain or soon to be in pain, they’ll jump to help you, but they can’t feel it when you don’t express it such that they can feel it. Ts often trip up when talking about feelings because, unconsciously, they don’t want to confront or expose their emotional vulnerability. In masking your feelings behind factual statements, you do your emotional life a disservice and you make it harder for people to know what’s really going on with you. The fact that you are so afraid of “feeling worse” implies an avoidance of that aspect of yourself. If you can’t fully face up to your feelings, how can you express them fully?

FJs, due to higher Fe, predominantly speak through the language of feelings, which means that they understand feelings in terms of how they manifest via face, body, and words, though a mature FJ should be aware that not everyone speaks this language fluently and make adjustments. Remember that FJs won’t be able to gauge your emotional state very well without those cues, and you shouldn’t expect them to, because then you’d be forcing them to speculate and make assumptions, which exacerbates the original problem you’ve described of jumping to conclusions. A blank face and matter-of-fact tone can have multiple possible interpretations, and if that’s what you present to them, it’s not really fair to blame them for guessing it wrong. How can someone know how you feel when there is no agreement or common language to communicate that information? You can’t have it both ways: You can’t say that people should accept your emotional inexpressiveness (and any unwillingness to change it) and then also expect that they should still magically know exactly how you feel. The breakdown of communication is caused by you if that’s the case. 

Communication is a two-way street. Ideally, when opposites communicate, both sides should make an effort to translate themselves well to the other person, and it sounds like many more couple discussions are needed about how to bridge your Ti vs Fe cognitive differences. When the other side isn’t capable of meeting you halfway, then you sometimes have to work twice as hard to make yourself heard. It’s not an insurmountable problem, but it’s hard work to develop the right strategies and put them into practice. It’s worth it, though, because it also helps you with your function growth and development.

Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!! 

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

hey, vaccinate your kids you jerks!!!

thanks for coming to my essay! now that i have your attention, i think we should stop talking about anti-vaxxers like theyre all backwards hyper-religious dumbasses. like, im frustrated too, and i agree that "personal/religious reasons" should not allow someone to keep their kids unvaccinated. furthermore, as an autistic person, i despise the myth that vaccines cause autism. i especially hate that it scares people into avoiding vaccines, because theres nothing wrong with me.

but ridiculing these people will only make the problem worse, and here's why: i think that a lot of anti-vaxxers and their communities are used to feeling like the most important aspects of their cultural identities are universally mocked or demonised (im not qualified to say whether these feelings reflect reality in every case, but either way im just talking about feelings, ie, what people think we believe about their culture). for instance, my only knowledge of amish people comes from jokes ive seen others make about them. yes, none of these jokes were very serious, and its easy for me to laugh at them because im not amish, but despite my low empathy i can understand that it just feels bad to hear a whole bunch of jokes about something important to you. i'll get back to this point in a moment.

anyway, i bring up the amish because in 2014, there were measles outbreaks in some amish communities in Ohio. and i think that a lot of the people who dont vaccinate their kids are used to being ridiculed for their "weird" or "new age" or "hyper-religious" or "unchristian" lifestyles, so they just see our concern as more of that mockery. we all sound the same to them, and cant you see why?

"ughh all these people ignoring science and being stubborn about vaccines because their church said--" you sound like one of those atheists. if you cant say anything productive, please stay out of the discussion. why do you act like ridiculing people will change their minds? we should be reaching out, instead.

we need to make the effort to approach anti-vaxxers in a way that distinguishes us from those who only converse with them to mock them.

i want more people to understand that the best way to change someone's mind when they're defensive is by listening. you need to be willing to accept whatever they might rant about, and respect that, even if their fears seem ridiculous, even if their fears are rooted in ableism, their fears still terrify them. thats why theyre called fears. you can validate someone's feelings of anxiety and confusion without validating their bigotry, and you must be willing to accept that this is work. this is difficult. it's much, much harder than yelling your opinions. it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't even pay off. sometimes you just can't convince somebody, and you have to be able to accept that.

if this seems too hard for you, i have good news: you do not have to do it. this kind of thing is not for everyone, and it's okay if you just don't want to. this doesn't have to be your responsibility.

i only ask that you stop making things worse by (performatively, in the case of yall who arent in danger of dying/losing a loved one to a preventable disease) mocking anti-vaxxers, because we are the ones who need something from them. we are asking them to face their fears (which were sometimes instilled in them very early in their childhood) for the good of humanity. i don't know about all of you, but i'd be hesitant at best to face even my third worst fear (spiders) for the sake of strangers who regularly mock my culture and heritage, and i know for a fact that most spiders cannot harm me!

this is natural. this is human. it is easy to dismiss things you dont understand, and it's even easier to dismiss them when all the scientific evidence agrees with you. however, your evidence does not make these people's experiences and fears less real for them. it does not lessen the effect their fear has on their choices. knowing that a tarantula won't hurt me if i follow certain guidelines will not stop me from shaking and having a breakdown if i think too hard about touching one. knowing that nothing bad would happen doesn't motivate me to go over to the science building at my college and ask to hold their fucking tarantula.

there are no shortcuts here. if we want anti-vaxxers to accept vaccines and stop putting so much effort towards keeping their children unvaccinated, we have to convince them that they don't need to be afraid of vaccines. we need to actually address their concerns. telling them their fears are ridiculous is just not convincing no matter how much scientific evidence you have. this discussion has become too performative. people just tell anti-vaxxers to vaccinate their kids, and they dont bother to address the fear that motivates their opponents. they don't care that they're asking people to trust a yelling internet stranger with their child's health.

it is inconsiderate to demand things from people without stopping to think about what you're asking for. please think about it from their point of view. if vaccines were dangerous, and they vaccinated their kids, then anything bad that happened to their kids due to the vaccines would be their responsibility. and remember, these people have not been given a convincing reason to believe vaccines are harmless. okay? they do not want to be at fault for their children getting hurt. yes, they are wrong. yes, they are frustrating. yes, they are endangering immunocompromised people like my dad, but there is a huge difference between being malicious and being misguided. please do not treat them like they set out to hurt you.

also? stop telling them to care about other people when you don't care enough about them to respect that they're doing their best with the resources they have. stop saying "i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" when you really just want them to magically stop being scared. maybe you say it out of genuine frustration and bewilderment, but when everyone is saying it, it comes across like a smug 'gotcha!' phrase that excuses you from spending more energy on the debate. you can just say youre tired and stop.

i am trying to explain to you that you should care that these people have felt scammed/hurt by the medical industry enough times that they feel justified in risking the health of their whole family (assuming they even think vaccines work). you should care that theyve never been given a convincing reason to trust remedies promoted by rich strangers who make claims that sound too good to be true. the government has promoted harmful things to underprivileged people before, like milk (it took me a half hour to sift through unrelated stuff about soy milk to confirm this, so i'll go ahead and link my source). it is logical to mistrust an industry that operates for the profit of people youve never met. not everyone trusts the FDA to keep the pharmaceutical industry in check, and it's actually pretty smart to rely on direct accounts from people you know personally when you aren't sure how well something actually works, and you dont trust the ones selling it to you.

with that in mind, talking to people is probably the best way to tackle this issue, but many of you haven't bothered to compile introductory information about vaccines. you havent bothered to present these resources in a way that doesn't ridicule people who are scared. i am trying to explain to you that you shouldn't debate with people if you won't treat them like humans. i am trying to explain to you that "you dont actually care about others" is a hurtful and manipulative sentiment, and when you say it to people who are trying their best, you become part of the problem. you reinforce their mistrust. i am trying to explain to you that trusting doctors doesnt make you morally superior.

put yourself in their shoes for a moment. imagine that someone comes up to you and makes it clear that they think the choices you've made as a parent are ridiculous. they make claims about your child without offering proof, or the only proof they offer also mocks you and people like you (or they just tell you to "google it"). furthermore, they tell you that unless you give in, something bad will happen to their own children, and it will be your fault.

this is manipulative. even if you are correct, it is manipulative. demanding that someone treat their child in a way that they consider harmful is just ridiculous and i don't know why you expect people to listen to you. do you expect this to be easy? do you honestly believe that if someone isn't converted within minutes, they're just being stubborn? do you think these people know the truth, and only persist out of spite?

these questions are necessary, because many of you talk about anti-vaxxers as though the answer is 'yes.' there is a difference between being correct and treating people right. please be more aware of that line in the future, and do your best not to cross it.

oh, and by the way, if i see any of you using this year's measles outbreaks as an excuse to be hateful towards jewish people, i will block and report you. antivaxxers usually arent malicious, and if you perceive orthodox jewish antivaxxers as being worse than other antivaxxers, you need to rethink your beliefs. they arent rejecting vaccines just to hurt you. maybe theyre tired of being demonised and blamed for everything from climate change to unemployment to dead kids*, and theyre unwilling to trust random people with something as important as the health of their children when a lot of us have never bothered to listen to their struggles. (* ive seen a whole lot of people saying things that border on blood libel without quite involving blood during these discussions, so can we all agree to be careful not to do anything that resembles that shit now that ive provided a handy link about what it is? thanks)

lastly, all of this criticism of anti-anti-vaxxers is very easy for me to say because i have less of a personal stake in the issue. i know it must hurt in a way i can't currently understand to lose someone to a preventable disease. if i have made anyone feel dismissed or invalidated in this essay post, i'm sorry for doing so, and i want to make it clear that it is okay if you hate anti-vaxxers. i know their fear has hurt you, and i wouldn't ask you to pretend otherwise. i dont want to make any of you feel like you shouldn't talk about your experiences and fears. i'm just asking that, before you hit the post button, you read through your post and edit out anything manipulative or guilt-trippy. your contributions to this conversation are valuable, and i want the people youre trying to convince to be able to read them without feeling like they have to defend themselves instead of listening to you. the culture around this debate has become almost hostile, and while we dont all need to work directly with anti-vaxxers to make it better, we do all need to agree to stop making it worse.

im watching the first episode and star immediately implies tom is stupid and doesnt know what a tower is and then he calls marco right after who immediately reassures him that hes not stupid at all and like. tomco is the only valid ship rn imo.

See I’m not going to go after star fans because even if they dont realise why her behaviour is That Bad they’re the ones who’ve been done the dirtiest by crew’s awful writing. Star and Tom had such a sweet relationship in the 3rd season! I was one of the first people to point out the problematic aspects of how the relationship BEGAN, but so far as their actual relationship she was good to him and he was good to her. 

I feel like the writers noticed how popular Tom is with the fans and how much his status as a literal actual monster makes him more sympathetic than their lead who *cough* used to genocide monsters for fun and its never even BROUGHT UP like jesus christ star you were the only racist in mewni before the crew hard reset the show’s themes So now they’re trying to retcon his previous characterisation as a precious demon boi who did nothing wrong without realising that doing this also retcons STAR as well. 

Before their relationship ended badly because Tom had very obvious anger issues and Star, rightfully, didn’t wanna have to put up with that at her own expense. 

But knowing what we know now?  

Not only did she neglect him from the beginning, was flighty with promises she made to him, and cheat at ping pong, but apparently she’s been also gaslighting the heck out of him this whole time. 

Look how easily it is for her to slip into a rhetoric that paints tom as in the wrong for telling his MOTHER that his girlfriend made him sad. She’s done this before. Star has mindset that she is never in the wrong. She feels she is justified in treating Tom horribly because he’s an anger demon and any reaction he has must be an overreaction. Lets not open up the can of worms of how goddamned racist that is and just keep moving. 

I wouldn’t go so far as to say this is calculated as she DOES seem genuinely surprised when Tom calls her out on it. She’s like. 15. Of course she’s not gonna be the best in relationships. I’m not gonna sit here and say Star is invalid forever. 

But right now? No. She’s being horrible to Tom and everyone else. Rewatching old episodes knowing what I know now makes it clear she’s ALWAYS horrible to Tom and everyone else. The show never calls her out on it, never attempts to correct her behaviour, and the only time it comes close to doing so the problems caused by her selfishness are always solved not by self reflection or apology to those she’s hurt, but through her massive speshul powers that blast the repercussions of her actions into space. 

When has she ever honestly been forced to address her flaws within herself? Never. Its always framed as her being So Powerful that she can just whip out a lazerbeam to save the day. She messes up and someone says ‘you’re being held responsible for your actions. a lazerbeam wont fix this’ and her response is ‘you underestimate how strong my lazerbeam is’

Tom fans deserve better, Marco fans deserve better, but the people who are being screwed over the most are Star fans. I remember when the show first came out everyone was so happy about Star’s obvious coding as an autistic girl. So many people latched on to her for her struggle as someone who didn’t quite fit in and related to her journey. Watching the way she’s written now honestly makes me sick for their sake. Autism doesn’t make you gaslight partners, being different doesnt make you spout terf rhetoric at your best friend while they’re questioning their gender identity.

The crew doesnt want to admit Star is a bad person, but they’re also trying to redeem her enemies by retconning what they did wrong. This just makes Star look worse and worse. Its bad writing, bad characterisation, and the show should be treated with a bit more respect by the people making it. 

I say chapter 2 for the Miraxus Vampire AU!! Your imaginations are just the best ^^

Part I

It was a rough adjustment to say the least, going from the freedom of a young man in his twenties with no attachment other than his homegrown business, to the chains of being the only normal person in a household full of abnormality.

Which was putting it lightly.

He was the only one who wasn’t a vampire, like the Strauss siblings, a slave to said vampires, like poor Evergreen and Freed, or a complete and utter moron who Laxus was pretty sure had no hangups over all had gone on, like stupid Bickslow. No, Bickslow was riding high as the house ‘jester’ and kitten father and it was all just so aggravating that sometimes Laxus thought about it.

He could do it.

Kill them.

Really, the only one he wanted to take out with the main one. Mirajane. The Mistress. She was the one that caused all of this. He wondered too if maybe vampires were, like, ants or bees. If he killed their queen, would all the others die? Is that how it worked? Sure, it would be horrible to recognize his own dealings in the death of his two friends, Freed and Ever, but at the same time…

Those…things weren’t Evergreen and Freed any longer. He had to keep reminding himself of this fact. It was the truth. Their bodies were just vessels and what happened to them from this point out had no bearing on the souls that had long since departed.

It would be retribution, if anything. Justice. An end to any suffering they might still be facing, trapped within themselves. How could he just sit there and do nothing? Huh? When he was the only one with the opportunity to bring it all to an end?

And yet, as dawn rose each morning, dragging the sun willingly along the sky, he found himself not focusing on how to distract Freed long enough to sneak down into the cellar, where he’d find them all, slumbering the day away, where he could easily drive stakes through each of their hearts.

It would be a blessing, even, he was pretty sure, to the three of them. Was it not a curse? Their immortality? That’s what she told him, once, when this all first began. That he was lucky to bear the brunt of mortality.

Then why not just end things?

He figured this had to do with the whole damnation aspect. If that was an aspect. Bickslow insisted it was. But even still, Laxus would find hellfire far more preferable to feasting on the blood of the innocent. Still, he couldn’t imagine that Bickslow was enjoying himself as much as he let on either. They were all just surviving with what they’d been giving. Selfishly, sure, fine, but each day (or night) that they continued to draw breath was a win, no matter how dirty the tactics.

Where did that leave him, anyways? Laxus saw himself as an unwilling participant in all of this, but he never left. Or when he did, it was merely to do what had to be done. Gather supplies, assure the locals. That sort of things. He always came back. He wasn’t charmed or imprinted on or any of that weird stuff a vampire might do to have a hold over someone. No. He was just…

Going along with all of it.

Fear at first, maybe, had a play in everything, but now he felt little of it. Or at least it wasn’t overpowering his senses. Mirajane had been right. Repulsion fled with repetition and he found himself falling into the daily schedule of the Strauss mansion with little hesitance. In a certain kind of way, it wasn’t so different from his daily life before that. Manual labor, renovating a decaying mansion in the hot summer.

What a long one of those it would be.

.

“Oi, boss, I think one of my little kittens here is sick. Peppe. Look at ‘im. Does this look like a normal kitten to you?”

“Bickslow,” the man growled as he stood out in the yard, cutting at the shrubbery, “I’m busy.”

“Just look at ‘im, boss. He looks pale.”

“It’s a white fucking cat, Bickslow.”

“Kitten.”

“Bick-”

“Go on then, you bastard,” the acrobat was growling suddenly and when Laxus glanced over his shoulder, he saw the man nursing a bleeding thumb. The kitten apparently didn’t like being swung around for the blond to see and had either bit or scratched the other man. Tossing him to the ground, Bickslow glared after the feline before looking to Laxus once more. “Kids are so ungrateful. Say, that’s actually what I was wondering about.”

“I don’t give a shit about your cats, man.”

“Kittens.” Still, Bickslow was quick to follow as Laxus, finished with the bush before him, was stalking off across the yard to the other. “To bad for your woman, you know. Is she still a woman? Your vampire then, eh? Can’t see ya all hot and bothered like this. Shirtless. Working hard under the sweltering sun.”

“If you’re coming on to me, I’m not interested.”

“Nah, not me. No way. I’m a single father now, man. That’s a lot of work.”

“I thought you and Lisanna were taking care of the kittens together?”

“The woman only comes around at night! All day, I toil over my precious babies and she just-”

“You know, man, I’m really fucking busy right now, so-”

“I have a question,” Bickslow insisted as they came to a stop before another overgrown shrub. “Okay, look, listen to this. I’ve been wondering ‘cause it keeps me up at night, yeah? Well, among other things-”

“Bickslow-”

“Can vampires reproduce?”

“What? Why are you ask-”

“And if they can, does it gotta be with something else undead? Or can you and the, uh, Mrs. Boss, uh… I’s talkin’ to Freed about it and we were very concerned. Well, I was concerned. He just sorta sat there and went on and on about all his chores he had to do, but… How can something undead give life to something not? And man, it would suck for you, ya know? Is it your kid or one of the thousand of other guys, she, uh, gets favors from, right? I mean-”

“Would you shut up?” And he dropped the clippers then, Laxus did, as he turned on the man with blazing eyes and Bickslow threw up his hands in defense, nearly falling back over his own feet as he tried to scramble away. “I’m fucking working you absolute-”

“So I’m a prisoner here and I ain’t even got free speech?” Bickslow was running across the yard then, away from him. “Well, prisoner in name only. But I got rights, boss! You’ll see! I’ll bring this up to the kid tonight. You just wait!”

But Laxus didn’t think of the man again that night. Or anything, really, as he found yard work to not even be a good distraction from his roaring thoughts.

.

They seemed to have some sort of internal clocks that told them when to rise from their shadowy depths, the Strauss siblings did. As sundown changed just slightly with each passing day, he wondered how exactly their bodies knew so well. Perhaps they were just that in tune with the earth?

Regardless, he typically found himself waiting for the Mistress on the couch in her bedroom, where Freed would follow her after the pair made sure her brother was alright and her sister was content, to pour her wine and listen to any daily chores she had until the next sundown.

Laxus would only sit there patiently, usually, for this to occur as he looked everywhere other than his former friend. To see the man now, mindless and void, really gave the blond an ache deep in his heart.

One night after Freed had pour her a glass of wine and bowed his way out of the room, Mirajane only went to look longingly out the window as Laxus couldn’t do anything other than stare at her deeply.

“I’m not in the mood tonight, my love,” she offered simply, mistaking the gaze for hunger. “For anything.”

“I just have a, uh, question.” Laxus had never stuttered, really, before he came to the mansion, but he found his words falling over themselves frequently around the woman. Coughing slightly into his hand, he added, “That’s all.”

“Ask until you are content.” She didn’t even glance over at him as he rose to his feet. Instead, eyes falling down into her glass, she whispered, “I will answer to the best of my ability.”

Nodding, he took a step closer before, with hesitation, finding his feet firmly planted where they were currently. “I was just curious… How is it that…”

“I said you can ask, Laxus.” She still wouldn’t look at him. She seemed distracted, honestly. Worried. “Not stammer at me.”

“Right. I just… You can’t get, like, pregnant or some shit like that, can you?”

“What?” That did get her gaze, but the look was one of displeasure. Rolling her eyes so deeply he thought perhaps she’d gone into a trance, the woman finally retorted, “What an idiotic question. Of course not. Who would think such a thing?”

Bickslow.

Still, the man merely said, “I was just making sure, is all. Contraception is kind of a normal thing now. I figure it wasn’t back when you were…when…well-”

“You are beginning to bore me, Laxus.” Her gaze was out the window again. “Please try and avoid such an occurrence.”

Frozen for a moment, he shook his head some as he felt his feet get life again. Advancing on the woman, he stared out the window as well. In the pale moonlight, he saw just as she did, Bickslow doing twirls and jumps for a not visible Lisanna.

“They both enjoy one another,” she offered softly, “at least. It’s been a long time since Lisanna has had someone to play with. He’s a bit…off, but I am pleased with the jester’s dedication.”

“Yeah,” Laxus whispered as she turned then, from the window and him, walking across the room to refill her glass, “dedication.”

.

“You’re always the one that gets to go away somewhere fun,” Lisanna griped to her sister early one evening as the Mistress had them all gather in the living area. Even Evergreen and the brother, Elfman, were there. One a brute of a man, the still quite muscular man merely sat where he’d been helped, on the couch, not able to raise his eyes as his sister’s bickered. “You don’t trust us to do anything anymore. I wasn’t the one that got hurt. Elf was-”

“Silence.” She never raised her voice, Mirajane did, but she had a way of getting the attention of others regardless. As Freed stood at her side and the others sat around on the furniture, Mirajane only addressed them all with a dark gaze. “I have important business to attend to. I except there to be no problems, here at home, while I am gone. You stay out of the sight of the villagers, Lisanna, Elfman, and you both keep up appearances, Freed, Laxus. When I return-”

“Laxus?” Lisanna frowned over at him and even stuck her tongue out. “How come he’s staying? Take him with you. I hate when he just looms around the house all day.”

“You,” the man complained with a glare right back (though he was apprehensive over the brother and downright terrified of Mirajane, Lisanna felt more like the petulant children he dealt with down at the group home), “sleep all day. I sleep at night. Why is that a problem?’

“It’s annoying.” She could only shrug. “Doesn’t feel natural.”

“You know-”

“You all behave like children.” With a roll of her eyes, Mirajane looked to Freed. “I expect you to keep things in order while I am away. I will return before the end of the week. Should anything occur, you know how to get in contact with me, yes?”

“I,” Lisanna complained again, “know what to do if anything goes wrong, Mira. Me. Not them. I’m the whole reason any of them are here!”

“Will you be gone that long?” Elfman finally spoke, voice soft as he raised his eyes some. “Big sis?”

It was with a soft sigh that she went to push her brother’s white locks away from his eyes, staring down at him as Evergreen sat beside, looking void and disinterested.

“Never,” Mirajane assured her younger brother.

.

Laxus didn’t understand why he got left behind, but decided to make the most of it. Working all day, sleeping all night. Like he used to. Rather than sleeping in shifts between doing the housework, going to town, and dealing with the Strauss siblings in the evening.

He had his own room, separate from Mirajane’s, which he was free to use when she wasn’t up to bother with him. Or when she wished to be alone, as she did, some nights. The bed wasn’t as comfortable and the room was much smaller, barren, but it suited him and his attitude towards his situation.

One night, sleep was a bit difficult because he could hear Elfman wailing, loudly, in his downstairs quarters, over something or other, and Bickslow was jumping all about the house with his cats. And Freed seemed to have been instructed to wander about, between Mira’s siblings, checking up on them. Laxus could hear his slow, methodical steps as he went up and down the stairs periodically, doing as he’d been told.

Sleep was just hard to come by.

Laxus laid with his headphones in, listening to music, and kind of just wished Mirajane would return soon. She seemed to bring balance to the house. Without the Mistress around, everything felt disconnected. No one was really the head of the house and they were all just miserable people, trapped in a mansion together, bringing the misery onto one another.

Just what, the golden haired man found himself fearing frequently, could Mirajane be dealing with anyways? She seemed rather worried over something. Did it have to do with him? And Bickslow? Or maybe Elfman’s…accident? Something like that?

Who was she even going to speak with?

And how many others were there? Like them? Int he world? Were the Strauss siblings oddities or a shadowy norm?

Maybe there was a council, he worried then, of vampires. A hierarchy? Just where did the woman fall on that? She seemed rather high and mighty, towards her siblings, who fell in line under her, but did that have to do with birth order? Or some sort of chain of command?

Why did it bother him so much? The idea that the woman, Mirajane, his…Mistress wasn’t at the top? Because it did. The idea that there were more powerful, more commanding vampires out there than her really bothered him. And not just because the implication of darkness and evil that had towards the world at large.

.

It didn’t make much sense to the man at first. What was happening. He’d drifted off some uncomfortably and was a bit dazed as he heard the soft footsteps that certainly weren’t the pensive, watchful Freed or the excitable Bickslow. No. They were different.

“Lisanna?” he whispered softly as she slipped into his room. Frowning as he rubbed at his eyes, he asked, “Is everything alright? Is someone here? I’ll go take care of-”

“No one’s here.” She shut the door softly behind her, coming forwards. “It’s my home, is it not? Can I not choose where to be inside of it?”

“What?” She was being too confusing for him to be so groggy. “Did you need something or not?”

Btu she was staring at him as the moonlight wafted through his room and it was so bizarre because part of him knew exactly why she’d come, but another part of him refused to acknowledge it.

“Lisanna? Hey, kid, I think I lost one of the kittens again and I’m really worried about him. Have I mentioned to you that he don’t look too good? Lisanna?”

She made a face, over her shoulder, before looking at Laxus again and oh shit, he was so fucked.

But not that night, as she slipped back out of the room to go deal with her personal jester. Laxus just sat up in bed for a full minute, shocked, dazed, and filled with dread.

What was he supposed to do now?

.

The height of summer was upon them and it was a scorcher out. Laxus decided, without Mirajane there to dictate just what he did with his days, that he would go into town. Not the dumb village though. A real town. To get away from the mansion for a bit.

Maybe…maybe even write his grandfather?

But he couldn’t. He thought about it, honest, he did, and even located the location to do so, but he just…

What could he say? After so long? The last his grandfather had heard from him was when he first started renting out that little shopfront, hopeful for the future. He’d always meant to write the man again. To go back again, honestly. With extra cash. To see who was still around and who’d gotten homes. Maybe even offer a job to some of them. Maybe. The kids. The ones that were grown by that point.

It just never came together.

Laxus had found a new family there, for a bit, in his little team. Evergreen and Bickslow could get on his nerves like no other, but they reminded him a lot of the kids in that way. And Freed, well, he could be a bit of a hassle as well, what with his near constant insistence of doing the right thing and being an upstanding citizen and all that. He was a lot like his grandfather.

But now that family was shattered and factored and it would never come all together again. It couldn’t. The Strauss siblings made certain of that.

There was a slight fear, as well, or at least a consideration he’d kind of pushed away before, but…

The Mistress had made it quite common knowledge between the two of them that all things come to an end. Though she implied he would age, she didn’t necessarily indicate that this would lead to a natural end in their relationship. The opposite, even. She told him that she would be the one to end him.

When the time came.

Now with Lisanna clearly wanting…from him, well, he had a bad feeling that things were going to go south much faster than Mirajane had anticipated.

Laxus caught a drink alone at a bar and plotted this all out in his head.

Lisanna hadn’t been too coy, sneaking into his room so late at night, and that meant that she wanted… But Laxus didn’t want…well… It was weird. Wtiht he Mistress. He felt such a strong, undeniable attraction for her. Was it the power? The fact that she could completely fuck his entire shit up with a snap of his fingers?

Or just her in general?

Then there was her younger sister. Lisanna. There was nothing wrong with her. At all. She was just…not Mirajane. Yes. And Mira had told him, even, that she had no interest in men. That she was keeping Bickslow more as a pet than anything else. And that seemed to hold up as true, over a month out. Bickslow was entertaining to her and nothing more.

He’d thought this meant that Mira was right. That Lisanna just wasn’t looking for the same thing that she was. But apparently not.

It didn’t matter how many beers Laxus downed. He couldn’t wash away the feeling that this was going to end poorly for him. Imagine it. Having a super hot girlfriend who goes away for the week and then bam! Her sister is throwing herself at you. You know if you go for it, your girlfriend will eventually find out about it, and ‘end’ you, like she threatened, but if you don’t…

Well…

Then you’ll get your blood sucked out in a violent manner by her equally as scary and powerful little sister.

Imagine it.

Laxus could.

It’s why he decided not to go home that night.

.

“Where were ya last night, boss?” Bickslow yawned to the man in the middle of the afternoon when Laxus arrived back at the place. He hesitated some, when he found the guy waiting for him on the front porch, but Bickslow had something else on his mind than true worry over his friend. “My kitty ain’t well! It’s-”

“Shut the fuck up, Bickslow. Moron.”

Freed seemed interested in Laxus absence, but made little mention in it other than informing him he should not be gone, at night, when the Mistress is about.

“Well, she ain’t, is she, Freed?” he grumbled some to the mostly vacant stare of the man he once considered his best friend.

Still, he took heed of this and decided to be around that night, just in case the woman showed back up.

He didn’t sleep in his room though. No. He slept in Mirajane’s, with the door locked, completely sealed off from the others. He was answering no knocks or inquiries. Just going to put his headphones in and zone out from the entire world. If this bothered Mira, should she arrive home that night, so be it.

It wasn’t like she’d kill him over it.

But she might if she found him in bed with her sister.

No. Things were just best if Laxus kept to himself and avoided Lisanna all together until Mira got back and then…then…

Well, he wasn’t sure then what. A few days removed, he wasn’t even certain he’d read Lisanna’s intentions correctly. It was late and he was tired and maybe…maybe his ego was just getting in the way of logical thought. Yes. Maybe. Possibly.

Lisanna was just messing around. Or did want something. Probably to find Bickslow. Yeah. She was looking for him and then there he was and that was that.

Right?

Right.

Obviously.

The sleep was still uncomfortable, but he found it much preferable to the worried one he’d had the previous two nights.

.

There was a certain sense you got, unilaterally, when you felt someone’s eyes upon you. It wasn’t even supernatural. Just a sense people got, a feeling. It had nothing to do with the powers that the Strauss siblings possessed.

And yet, it felt enhanced, somehow, when it came to them. His blood would run cold, if he was walking around the property at the exact post-dusk moment they came out of their cellar. Could literally feel the Mistress’ eyes across the sprawling property. Knew when they were on him. When they spied him, out late at night, in a storm, trying to track down damn kittens as she watched from her window.

He found Lisanna had the same power.

His snores turned to slight, chilly shakes as he peeked his eyes open and found her there, in the bedroom with him. He was confused for a moment and then only glared.

“How did you get in?” he griped, softly, whispered, really. He didn’t want Freed or Bickslow poking around. None of this could get back to Mirajane. Not an ounce of it.

Lisanna was standing there, at the foot of the bed, just staring. She didn’t do pensive or alluring as well as her sister, but still, as she nodded over to the forever open window, Laxus wanted to ram a palm into his face.

Of course.

Fucking vampires.

That explained his cold, anyways, as he shivered some in the night air that was being let in.

“You should never lock her door, anyways,” Lisanna told him before her eyes and gaze turned to something more…devious. “Unless, of course, you plan to put it to good use.”

She literally jumped into bed with him and Laxus didn’t know what to do. At all. He’d never had a problem such as this (as he fell more into the Strauss web, he found that was true of most things) and wasn’t sure what to do as the woman literally moved to grab his face and fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Lisanna.” He turned his head when she tried to kiss him. “Kid. What are you doing? Me and your sister-”

“Mira can’t have everything. And I’m not a kid.”

“Okay, okay, you’re not a kid, but fuck, we can’t-”

“Why not? Huh?” She was still holding onto his face and Laxus didn’t know how petrified his face looked in that moment, but all of him was feeling it. Lisanna had clearly lost it and either she was going to fucking have her way with him (super nope) or she was going to fucking kill him, he just knew it. All that month of figuring things out with Mirajane had just be some sort of cosmic gift. Here, you can dabble in your darkest of fantasies before they’re ripped from you. Just like your jugular will be, in your bitter final moments.

It felt fitting, to have that happen. You fuck a vampire, you get fucked up by a vampire.

Yeah, it was hard not to find justice in this outcome.

“It’s because of her isn’t it. My sister. You’re in love with my sister, aren’t you?”

“W-Well, I don’t use labels and-”

She growled some, Lisanna did, and her nails felt like claws as, in the moonlight, he was forced to stare into her eyes.

“Mirajane treats me like a fucking child and I’m not. I can do whatever I want.”

“Look, I fullheartedly support you in this endeavor and all, but I’m not just whatever, okay? Now would you please-”

“You’re going to do as I want, Laxus. I’m just as strong as her. What? You think just because I didn’t turn Bickslow, I can’t turn anyone? I can. I will. If I want you, I’ll have you.”

“Your sister-”

“Isn’t here.”

“Yeah, but… You’re not a kid, Lisanna, fine, yeah, you’re what? A billion years old?” He felt more panic for some reason, in this moment, than he had when he was chained to the chair, all those weeks back. “But to someone like me, you’re still-”

“I was twenty-two when I died. That is not a kid.”

“Yeah, but still. I’m, uh, into, you know, a different kind of-”

“I don’t care what you’re into.” And besides, she seemed to already be over the whole sleeping together thing. No. Now her eyes fell only to his neck. “I’m going to turn you into my slave. My servant. That’ll teach her. I’ll make her favorite little plaything mine and then she’ll know. She’ll- Ow!”

She nails left long, bleeding scratches on his face when Laxus finally found it within himself to shove her away. He could somehow reconcile all the other stuff, but turning him would mean effectively ending his life. Remove any chance at battling back. No.

He would never allow that to happen. Not even through the Mistress.

“Lisanna?” Someone was trying the door then. Freed. “I must gain entry to assure you safety. Please, if you can-”

“Fuck off, Freed,” Laxus growled as he’d merely tossed Lisanna to the side, on the bed. She was hardly hurt, honestly, more surprised, and as that faded from her gaze, he knew he was about to be in for a battle. “Don’t ya gotta follow my command too?”

Nope.

“I will locate a key.”

Shit.

Jumping out of bed as Lisanna tried to pounce on him again, Laxus bashful, at first, to be in only his boxers around what was kind of, fine, okay, his girlfriend’s little sister, but then he remembered why this was the case and, well, embarrassment went out that perpetually open window a long time ago.

“You’ll pay for that.” Lisanna’s voice was low and Laxus considered then that this could have been all over a long time ago if Lisanna would just charm him. She clearly had no interest in the will of him, the flesh, like Mira had proclaimed to, so it made little sense for her not to just go that route.

Unless…

“You’re not as strong as your sister.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I am. I-”

“You don’t possess the same powers as her, do you?” He was standing there, defensively, one hand held out in front of him, as if to stop her should she advance further. He wasn’t so certain she couldn’t immediately overpower him though (Bickslow insisted vampires had immense strength) and did this more out of a reflex. A false sense of control. As Lisanna glared from the bed, he almost felt like he had the upper hand. “Mira’s, like, what? You and your brother’s commander? Or something? Is that it? I’ve never even seen the two of you hunt on your own. Mira goes out and hunts for herself and then brings the two of you back small animals to feast on. I’ve seen it. I’ve helped Freed clear the animal traps. You and your brother aren’t powerful and don’t need real, human, blood. Or at least as much blood as she does. Is that it? Or does she keep you powerless that way?”

“You have no idea,” Lisanna told him darkly, “what you’re talking about.”

Well, honestly, she was right. But still, he held fast.

“You can’t do all she can and make you so jealous, doesn’t it?” He felt embolden by distance. “I get it, okay? But fucking me…or eating me…or anything dealing with me, won’t make her take you seriously. It’ll just get me kicked out of her. Or worse. So rebel some other way, alright? That doesn’t involve-”

The sound of a key in the ancient lock stopped them and Laxus glared over at it. Freed though, who merely blinked at them, was not even close to the worst thing behind it though.

“Boss, you fucking snake!”

Bickslow tackled him, full on, to the ground and you know what? Laxus had had a lot of rage recently, since the whole thing began, and yeah, as they began to fight, he let some of it go. He was more powerful than the other man and was beating him handily as Lisanna only sat by yelling at them and Freed seemed uncertain of what directive he should take next.

There was no end in sight, honestly, and Laxus might have killed Bickslow that night, he was so charged up from his nearly two month long ordeal at that part, and you know what? Yeah, Bickslow did share some blame in the whole thing. Yes, he was essentially doing as Laxus, just going along to get along, but fuck if it didn’t feel much more like the other guy was betraying him. Them. The whole human race, honestly.

Being around the darkness for so long had muddled Laxus’ sense of right from wrong and whatever happened that night, he;d more than convinced himself wasn’t his fault. Anything that happened from that point forth wasn’t his fault. He was a pawn filled with freewill, but uncertain how to wield it any longer, and this was just the inevitable outcome.

.

She entered through her window, transforming ins uch a blink of an eye that it would have appeared, were anyone watching something other than Laxus’ pounding his close friend into the ground, as if she came from thin air.

“What,” stopped all motion in the room as she merely stood there, blue eyes not so bright in that moment, “is going on?”

Bickslow was bruised and bloodied, but as Laxus found no words before the woman, the jester did.

“Laxus tried to sleep with Lisanna!”

“The fuck I did.” He got off Bickslow then, eyes dark as he glared over at the youngest Strauss. “She tried to…have her way with me! And then these two burst in-”

“They’re mortals!” Lisanna fell onto the defensive easily. “I can do whatever I wish with them. You don’t get dibs, Mira, on someone you won’t even turn. You-”

“Out.” She really just hit an ungodly octave, the woman did. Breathing harshly through her nose, her eyes fell to Laxus. “Except you.”

Freed had to assist Bickslow in even getting up and he was upset, the other man was, about…about…fuck if Laxus knew, but as Lisanna only sent him a dirty look for some reason, he decided he didn’t care. About any of them.

“Mira,” he tried, but she huffed as the others left, moving passed him and over to her dresser instead. Waiting there was a bottle of her specified brand and, as always, a clean wineglass.

“The only good thing out of the lot of you,” she complained as she poured it for herself, “is Freed.”

“She came onto me. I-”

“If you cannot control them, Laxus, then why should I leave you in charge?”

“Control- She’s a fucking vampire! You’re all fucking vampires! God, why are you all just acting like this is normal shenanigans? It ain’t! Your fucking sister just tried to…to…rape me, fuck, I guess, and then kill me when I didn’t comply. But you’re mad at me?”

She had her back to him and merely took a long sip from her glass before replying, “I’m not mad at anyone. I’m annoyed.”

“I’d really appreciate it, Mira, if you were at least a bit mad at your sister over all this.”

“Lisanna is acting out. Lashing out. It’s normal.”

“Stop calling all of this normal. That’s literally what I just said. Are you not listening to me?”

“I expect,” was all he got back in response, “you to handle yourself while I am gone. I do not want to arrive home to messes.”

“I didn’t try and fuck your sister, Mira. She wanted to fuck me. Are you not the least bit concerned about that? You know, I’ve had to adjust a lot, a whole fucking lot, for your family, and you’re yelling at me because no one said that I would have to be fucking both of you. Is that the game now? I have to fuck your sister too? If that’s what you want, Mira, then-”

“Stop yelling.”

“Is no one going to fucking acknowledge how hard I’m working? Constantly? To figure this shit out? Then your sister just throws herself at me, your brother has been sobbing for days, you’ve been gone, Freed is fucking weird, I don’t even get to see Ever, and Bickslow, fucking Bickslow, won’t shut up about his cats and then comes in here and attacks me for what? Huh? For possibly sleeping with someone who he’s not? What kind of sense does that make? And, by the way, your sister clawed the fuck out of my face. Thanks for asking.”

Mira turned to face him then, fully, lowering her drink down to her side. “My sister doesn’t…want you, Laxus. This will pass. She’s just jealous and threatened. She’s putting you in your place. You denied her. It’s done.”

“I don’t feel like it-”

“Hush.”

“She’s fucking-”

“Hush.”

His lips shut and his jaw felt locked as the woman only went to the bedroom door. Calling for Freed once it was opened, she requested a wet rag and stood there until it was presented to her. Laxus was confused, but she merely locked the door once more before coming over to him.

“Wash yourself. You are covered in both your and his blood,” she said, handing it off to the man who accepted it numbly. “And do not come into my chambers again, if I am not present. And do not look so betrayed. I will speak with Lisanna as well.”

The house met with an uneasy silence then and, as he ran the rag over himself, Laxus was aware of the distraction in the woman. It was written all over her face.

“Why did you go away?”

“A meeting.”

“With…what? Like a meeting between…vampires?” His fears (or was it more of a desire) were coming true. “You all get together and what? Discuss your favorite blood type?”

“I see you’re coming off your anger well.”

“Your sister tried to-”

“But she did not.” She brought the cup to her lips once more after adding, “Get in bed, my love.”

He didn’t want to, not really, but had already pressed his luck with one of the siblings that day. There was a serious doubt it would hold true twice.

When he wasn’t joined, Laxus only snorted, staring over at her. “You must have something major going on, in your little abomination world, huh?”

That did it.

Softly, into her cup, the woman giggled, airy and light.

“You,” she informed him simply, “have no idea.”

.

Needless to say, the next morning was awkward for Laxus and Bickslow. The acrobats face was all black and blue and his lip was split and oh, wow, there was something a lot more pressing going on.

After avoiding one another for most of the day (if they were honest with themselves, they both mostly slept til noon anyways), it was nearing the time for the siblings to come out of their cellar when it happened. Bickslow found Laxus sitting under a tree outside, listening to his music. In his arms, once more, he clutched one of his little kittens.

“He’s,” the seith told him and he looked more distraught then he did when he thought the boss was bonin’ Lisanna, “sick.”

Laxus could tell. Part of him felt bad for the little guy, who was breathing shallowly and was probably infected with who knew what, considering the conditions under which he was living. This presented another huge problem, of course, that wouldn’t be addressed in that very moment, but as Laxus tried to figure out how he’d delicately break it to Bickslow that, considering the rinky dink village had no vet, they’d probably have to break the kitten’s neck out of pity, he also realized the other kittens were no doubt infected with the illness as well.

“What’s wrong?”

Lisanna was the first into the house, finding the two men sitting down on the entryway floor, the little kitten laid on a towel there as Bickslow gently stroked at his tummy, hoping to soothe any of his pains.

“We’re, uh, wain’ for ya, is all, I guess,” he whispered softly. “Boss is gonna have to…well… You gotta say goodbye to ‘im, kid.”

Her eyes widened, Lisanna did, and she looked tearful as her brother only came to stare down as well. Laxus didn’t feel too comfortable around the other guy yet and thought about ditching out then, giving Lisanna and Bickslow a moment alone with their kitten (and psyching himself up to, you know, kill a defenseless creature; tall talk from a vampire fucker, but that was different), but just as he was rising to his feet, the muscular man was bending down.

“What- Elfman!” Lisanna hit him as he moved to grab the tiny cat in his massive hands. “What are you- No! Mira! Stop him!”

She was the last in the house, Freed faithfully by her side, and frowned at the scene before her. But it was too late for the cat as her brother was already bringing his fangs down into the beast. Bickslow couldn’t help it. He’d been the best sorta prisioner, sort of hire entertainment possible, but this was just too dark for him.

“What the fuck, bro?” he yelled, but Elfman only stood to his feet after retracting his fangs from the neck of the feline.

In all the commotion of the room, they heard a faint, “Meow.”

“I turned him.” Elfman sniffled some as he moved to set the kitten down. “He’ll, uh, never grow up. He’ll be a baby forever. But he won’t die now, Lisanna.”

She was sill down on her knees, wiping at her eyes, but did blink some.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” she whispered softly to herself as the kitten ran off, no doubt to find it’s siblings. “I’m so stupid.”

“You are not.” Mira was walking on then, Freed following. ‘But we are going to have a conversation. Now.”

“Hey, man, with the kid busy,” Bickslow began as Lisanna groaned some, but followed faithfully after her sister, “Elfman, buddy, pal, you think you could, uh, you know…turn all my other kittens?”

“They’d never grow up,” the other man pointed out. “And they would have to come down to the cellar each morning, with us. And they will only drink-”

“Hey, man, as a single father, I’d love to get rid of them for twelve hours a day.”

With the evening’s big hullabaloo already solved, Laxus felt a bit lost in the shuffle. Instead of seeking out Evergreen in Elfman’s absence (who he imagined would be much like Freed; a useless shell that merely made him sad), he went back outside, to the tree he’d sat beneath before, and put his headphones back in.

But he felt it, all the same, when the evening wind picked up, and Laxus didn’t have to stare up at the specific window to know she was there, watching him, glass in hand. Waiting. Thinking. Lurking.

As he leaned back into the tree, ignoring the urge to to her, up in her room, to be with her, he merely shut his eyes and tried to drift away. Pretend he was back home. In his tiny apartment he and Freed shared, just listening to music and thinking about this strange dream he’d been having lately.

A nightmare, really, it was.

May 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 23rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! Our final Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like~! (https://maidenmachine.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think my favorite scene so far is when elizabeth and victor decide to sleep together. part in for its serious drama. theres so many questions about victor created from just the visuals, and then theres the stakes at hand of elizabeth's reputation. but then, there is also a good balance of comic relief to a degree since victor told her to ask no questions and she asks the one question that he probably didnt see coming. all around it was a pretty satisfactor culmination of their relationship so far at a juncture that felt natural.

another scene i really enjoyed was the ball scene where victor and eric are having a chat about elizabeth and then elizabeth and victor have a passionate liason. im mostly a fan cause of the dramatic convo. cause theres a deep and terrible sense that both characters truly know what their risking, what the situation is, and how they still are into each other. plus, its all very tense cause it just takes one person being in the wrong place at the wrong time to blow their cover.

honestly i think itd be accurate to say all my favorite scenes are with elizabeth and victor. romance is one of those genres i can struggle with, because theres always something missing. but oh man do i love the romance in this comic. there is nothing more i want than to see then elizabeth and victor finding a way to be together in spite society trying to kick that down at every turn.

i will give a special shout out to the scene where eric, abhaya, milo, and the cousin are meeting to discuss the affairs of the estate. i just like it because it basically shows all the characters' worst sides. abhaya is brash and reckless, milo is just kind of there, and eric is a greedy mofo. and whats worse is literally none of them thought to bring elizabeth. they may have their excuses of protecting her...but part of me still thinks thats a super dick move and shows even abhaya just kind of views elizabeth more as a pawn than a person. but all in all, nothing like money and estates to show off everyone's worst traits. it is very true to life, and i can respect that.

another non-victor/elizabeth scene i respect is the scene where elizabeth is out dress shopping and eric is like here i got you these dresses. just cause i knew eric was kind of a creep, but ho boy, he dialed the creep up to number 11 on a 10 meter scale. but at the same time, i think that really helped to erase all sympathy i might have had for him. thus paving the way for me to not really feel guilty on elizabeth's behalf for her trespasses against him.

mathtans

Hello, I made it... unfortunately this is a rather bad week, I only made it through the first two chapters.

RebelVampire

i also like scenes with west in them. cause I like that between all the people around Victor, West seems the most honest in a scoundrel sort of way. Which that is basically what I like about him in every scene. He causes trouble and pushes the limits, but at the same time hes always at least pretty upfront about his intentions.

thats unfortunate cause its a great comic, but glad to see you anyway math!

mathtans

Which kind of sucks, I like the whole concept of the kick ass ladies. Even the pirates.

Maybe I'll find time to read more in the background.

The bit I liked most of what I read I think was back in the first chapter, when Elizabeth makes the callback to when she got out of the ropes at the very start of the story. It was a nice subtle detail which I found very clever.

I'm not at your bits yet but I can see how the Elizabeth/Victor thing is being set up. Also there seems to be some question of whether Abhaya likes him... or possibly other ladies? I may be reading my own interests into that.

RebelVampire

you may be reading your own interests but later on there is a female character i ship abhaya with atm

so there is that

i dont think youve met her yet tho

mathtans

Also, yeah, the whole estate thing creates an interesting dynamic. That was a clever way of using the period to generate conflicts.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. A large focus of the comic is on Elizabeth and Victor’s relationship. At the end of the day, do you think the two will find a way to be together? If so, how will they get over the scandal Elizabeth would face and the fact those around Victor want him to marry a titled woman? If you don’t believe they’ll find a way to stay together, what will stop them? Further, given the most recent events, how will Eric Wollstonecraft play a role in the future of their love story? How does the narration framing seen where Elizabeth is addressing her potential son affect your opinion? How do you think that future came about, and how soon will it come to pass? Last, what do you think of their relationship in terms of Elizabeth wanting to make her own choices in life?

mathtans

I ship Abhaya with everyone.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to say if theres one thing i appreciate its combination of progressive themes while at the same time acknowledging that the period was not the friendliest towards these things

especially in regards to how elizabeth is treated since her only purpose apparently to everyone is to get hitched to a titled guy

and i mean

thats depressing

yet also true to the period

even though we get to see elizabeth take a journey and reject those social conventions

in regards to the current question, i am choosing not to think about whether in the long term elizabeth and victor will get together for the rest of their lives. because if they dont i will cry but i could see this realistically being the case given the tone of the narration. cause that...does not sound like an elizabeth who lives in eternal happiness.

mathtans

Back, sorry. Yeah, I'm usually not much of one for period pieces, but I like the narrative viewpoint. Also, pretty neat airships.

There was the point where she talked about leaving Victor behind back in Chapter 1 (I don't recall the exact circumstances) but I wondered if it was because he causes her heartache, or just because it make their lives more complicated.

Incidentally, the first thing I thought of with the name "Lovelace" was Lady Ada Lovelace. The mathematician. Not sure if that was an intentional reference to another well regarded woman.

RebelVampire

i love period pieces but i think the steampunk aspects help twist it enough to make it a bit more unique.

mathtans

(I don't think the time frames synch up but I don't recall when the comic takes place...)

Oh, it's definitely unique. I like the gadget aspect too.

RebelVampire

i would not be surprised if the name choice was purposeful. if only because the comic has lots of strong ladies. i doubt well see any real historical figures though.

i appreciate that the comic actually kind of starts off with the airship escapade

cause it really showcases the ways in which their world differs

where you get airships

and sky pirates

mathtans

That's a good point. Helps with the world building before we get down into some of the classic period issues.

RebelVampire

yes. and i also kind of like it starts off more action-y. not that there isnt action bits later mind you. but more i think it helps set up the main conflict while tying in the romance. because it makes it so the romance isnt some forced subplot. rather its kind of integral and has as much to do with the whole highjacking as the rest of the story. since later on youll see that elizabeth's proximity to victor keeps bring that part of the story into the limelight

mathtans

That's a good point, in terms of tying things together. Also possibly sets up a key antagonist (or at least revenge plot) in that burned pirate lady.

RebelVampire

she does come back

i will spoil that much

mathtans

I figured she had to some time, whether it was by the present updates or not.

I've resumed reading a bit in the background. Seems like both the Watson ladies are doing their best to get arrested. ^.^

RebelVampire

well at least Abhaya is.

cause Abhaya is a risk taker who puts herself in many situations where people are gonna stop and stare

mathtans

Well, yes. But Elizabeth also seems to be taking risks where Victor is concerned. Or at least stepping out of her comfort zone.

Certain people have certain effects on us I guess.

RebelVampire

nah thats true. I just think Elizabeth just takes more social risks. Like not the kind that are gonna get her arrested, but more the kind that are gonna get her socially shunned.

whereas Abhaya is the punch one who is gonna get charged with assault

mathtans

That seems like a valid viewpoint. It fits with their personalities when we saw them in their youth.

The cutting back and forth between the two sisters in Chapter 3 is well done.

RebelVampire

yeah in general i like the PoV switching of the comic. because every scene is pretty well-chosen and advances the plot in some manner. and it lets us see others parts of the comic developing. cause later on you do get to see more of victor without elizabeth some and get to go "hmm" to all that hes up to.

mathtans

Ha! I like Chapter 3, page 31, where all the dialogue seems to fade out as Victor touches her. Cute.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Besides romance, there is a larger plot posing real and deadly danger to the characters. Who do you think the Angel is? What are the Angel’s goals, and why is she excessively targeting Victor? Further, what do you think the source of her power is? Also, what does have kidnapping people like Ambrose have to do with her goals? Alternatively, is Ambrose there of his own free will (and if so, why)? Considering Abhaya is being sought by Amabel for help, what do you think Abhaya will do? Will Abhaya be able to uncover more of the truth, or is Abhaya just going to get herself into more trouble? How will Abhaya’s involvement affect Elizabeth and herself? Last, can Amabel be trusted, or is it possible she’ll abandon Abhaya when Abhaya might need her?

spoiler Amabel is who I ship Abhaya with

mathtans

Related to those questions, I do wonder a bit if Victor has a sordid past or something. Like maybe his empire wasn't entirely built on the up-and-up... with his knowledge or possibly without it. So there could be a reason there for him to be targeted.

I've looked on the character page and I approve this ship.

RebelVampire

oh yeah. Victor is 100% definitely a scoundrel. There is one scenes that really hints at this, but even before that i agree with you. Victor is not on the up and up entirely. I don't think he made his fortune without cracking a few skulls.

although idk if this is what makes him a target persay

or maybe it oes

but more in the way hes done the forbidden when it comes to tech

mathtans

Was he totally aware of the repercussions of whatever he did though? Because the people around him seem to like to keep him in the dark.

brb

RebelVampire

im sure he knew the repercussions. the people around him are more about keeping him in the dark about romantic matters. cause as was implied by one of the questions later on you find out the main thing ppl arent telling victor is that elizabeth is just there to open him up to the idea of marriage so he can marry a titled lady

cause everyone is all about those titles

In regards to the current question while you're away, I think Abhaya will help Amabel and get herself caught and get into a whole mess of trouble that for once, Elizabeth will have to break her out of. But I think it'll be a dual sword cause I do think Elizabeth's relationship to both Abhaya and Victor is gonna put her in the crosshairs. cause like, what an easy way to get Victor to show up. Get Elizabeth, tell Victor you'll never see her again if you don't show up.

as for the angel's goals, I feel shes on a path of vengence against the entire world, but particularly victor cause hes high up there in the industrialist chain

and knows something she doesnt and that she needs to bring her plans to fruition

mathtans

Back. Okay, that does make sense, darn titles.

Interesting, this Angel talk. I wonder if it's the same "angel" we see in the title card for Chapter 2?

Sounds like you think it's not personal, the Angel's path, merely that Victor is a convenient figurehead.

RebelVampire

i mean the angel is kind of the one from the title card. those are her wings for sure, though she doesnt look quite like that the one time you meet her

it could be personal, but i feel like the angel just has bigger fish to fry

from the impression i got from her

since shes kidnapping a ton of ppl

and you dont need to kidnap ppl to your cause if all youre doing is hunting down some industrialist

who almost got caught

if not for abhaya and elizabeth

mathtans

Ah, so she's the one behind the disappearances then.

(Still reading in the background.)

RebelVampire

yes. i mean its pretty implied but you get confirmation later that yes its her. though you can definitely speculate on the why

cause i have no clue

shes still enigmatic

mathtans

Looking for a husband? ^.^

RebelVampire

shes reading the wrong romance advice book

when elizabeth and her meet, elizabeth will point her in the right direction

and the angel is like "oh wait so youre not supposed to kidnap them? huh?"

mathtans

And then we ship Angel and Elizabeth.

RebelVampire

no. ill ship Abhaya and Angel

Elizabeth and Victor are the OTP

i said but then was like "nah id totally ship Elizabeth with West"

mathtans

Heh. That's fair, they are the main couple. Though West is an interesting guy, just needs to learn social cues.

RebelVampire

nah thats why west is amazing

he doesnt know social cues

and is awkward

yet helpful

and hes the only dude of victor's who seems to be in elizabeth's corner

mathtans

Right. I think it was said that he's not used to the lifestyle?

RebelVampire

yes that is what he said

which makes me want a side chapter just about what he did before he came to victor

cause i dont feel like victor would just hire some rando. he must of seen something in west

mathtans

Maybe he took pity on the guy, something about the scar.

RebelVampire

that could be cause victor understands the burden of scars

or something like that

whereas i just think west's scar gives him character

QUESTION 4. Mixed in with the present drama is a lot of unsolved past drama. Who do you think Victor really is? What do you think happened to Victor based on Milo’s story that he was telling Abhaya? How do you think Victor managed to overcome this to become the person he is today? Also, what do you make of the room Victor seemed to have sealed off in his house? Besides Victor, there is also a lot of drama between Jules, Abhaya, and Milo. What do you think happened between the three of them that managed to damage their relationship forever? Will spending more time together heal their wounds, or is it impossible at this point? Further, what was Jules up to the whole time he was away with Victor? Last, what do you think Jules’ goals were for introducing Elizabeth and Victor, and why does he seem immensely conflicted about her presence?

mathtans

Sorry, biab

RebelVampire

kay

I think Victor was some fellow servant kid who was Jules' only friend after Jules got sent away. And then Victor almost died. Although I'm changing my previous speculations. Maybe the Angel is more literal and she literally showed up, saved Victor with tech with the promise to return, and then left. So now shes back for her comeuppance. Meanwhile, Victor decided technology was great and he needed to bring it to the world cause it was what would keep him alive and save others.

as for the three, at this juncture it seems pretty heavily implied Milo and Jules were in a relationship and that Milo called off the wedding to Abhaya cause he didnt want to live a lie in regards to how he felt about Jules. Regardless of the what, while Milo i feel will legitimately forgive and forget, I dont feel Abhaya or Jules will. Abhaya cause she doesnt seem the type to ever forgive ever. And to just hold onto her hatred and seethe. Jules in the meantime I think wont forgive until he gets revenge in some way. Cause the two probably betrayed his trust big time and he kind of got the most screwed over by what happened

i think Jules wanted them to meet for the exact reason that the others implied: they want Victor to warm up to the idea of women so he can get married. However, I feel Jules now feels like a jerk who is taking out his anger at Abhaya on Elizabeth who had 0% to do with what happened between the three. and yet he knows hes in too deep to turn back now.

mathtans

Could be that Victor was initially poor... in fact maybe he married into the company somehow? Could the Angel be his wife? o.o

I wondered about Milo and Jules. My initial thought had been that Abhaya had called off the engagement though, so that's an interesting other look at things.

Jules and Elizabeth were close too, back in the day. One wonders if he's that good at seeing how things play out long term.

RebelVampire

nah its definitely his company. but victor was probably poor. if only cause everyone calls him new money. so it means he has no predecessor parent who made their fortune.

Jules strikes me more as the type who things hes great at planning but really, really, really isnt

and then tons of consequences come about that he has to accept and deal with

mathtans

That makes sense and could explain the sympathy for West too, maybe he knows West even though it doesn't necessarily go both ways.

Yeah, Jules seems to think he's got everything well in hand but he doesn't seem to account for the human factor.

Made it to the end of Chapter 4/Act 1 now. Apparently the Angel kidnaps people to literally graft wings onto her spine. Ouch.

Interesting callback to Victor's wounded leg though.

RebelVampire

i think even more than the human factor, Jules is just bad at making plan Bs for when things do go wrong. then panics and makes bad decisions

like not telling victor the factory is in danger

mathtans

Maybe that thing that Victor has in the factory is a time machine. Turns out he's actually from the future, he brought back all the technology and that's why the Angel is after him, she thinks it's stolen.

You're not wrong there, about Jules.

RebelVampire

ya know...i can support this time traveler theory. i mean it doesnt quite fit considering flashbacks

but id 100% buy victor built a time machine

cause why not

victor is amazing

mathtans

Maybe his company is corrupt because they're still trying to get the patents.

RebelVampire

i mean

its a company

so its probably corrupt to some degree regardless

mathtans

That's also a good point.

RebelVampire

i mean i can point out the fact they want victor to marry a titled lady to be a form of corruption. cause thats just marrying someone to advance your social standing for the business

mathtans

I guess we're near the end... haven't said anything about the art yet. I suppose I like the shading, and I thought the sound effect use was clever.

Need someone to star in the commercials.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife loves this new device I call a roomba."

RebelVampire

i really love the clothes. i mean theyre simple, and yet all seem to fit within the period that this comic is trying to go for

but if they get a roomba what are the house wives supposed to do

not sit at home cooking and cleaning all day?

also about the art, i really love the steampunk designs. you can definitely tell the steampunk inspiration in them, yet theyre really unique and not really like any steampunk ive seen before

and i can for sure appreciate uniqueness

mathtans

Yeah, that's true. And there was that neat detail of the corset being laced up the front, I wouldn't have thought of that.

Uniqueness is good. I wonder what the machine connection will end up being.

With the whole "maiden of the machine" thing there. (Won't be a roomba, after all.)

RebelVampire

ah thats a good point as well. i loved that detail about the maid being able to tell elizabeth didnt have a maid

mathtans

Maybe Elizabeth gets upgraded too.

RebelVampire

the comic was about the angel all along

and the angel's victory

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up our final Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Caitlin Like, as well, for making Maiden of the Machine. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Caitlin Like’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://maidenmachine.com/

Caitlin Like’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/CaitlinLike

Caitlin Like’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/caitlike

Caitlin Like’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/caitlike

The Binding Of Isaac Revelations

Featuring a brand new custom floor full of new threats!

Tboi Revelations Wiki

The Binding Of Isaac Revelations Chapter 2 Free Download

Steam Workshop::Revelations (Obsolete)

The Binding Of Isaac Revelations Chapter 2 Descargar; Binding Of Isaac Revelations Chapter 2 Items; Start studying Religion Quiz 2. Learn vocabulary, terms, and more with flashcards, games, and other study tools. This is the OST of the second chapter in Binding of Isaac Revelations, includes all tracks heard in the game in the Tomb floor, as. Team-Revelations Original Poster 4 points 2 years ago The fire effect is a visual decision that's integrated with synergies, but the main focus isn't this being fire, its more about the burst-firing aspect.

Seal of Approval for following submission guidelines.'>

Rev:Ch1 is a brand new mod for the Binding of Isaac. Featuring: - a divergent Basement path to a new floor with special mechanics - 8 new unique bosses - Dozens of brand new enemies - Over 20 new items - 1 new playable character - Plus, an optional challenging new peril. Enter the Glacier. A frosty welcome awaits Isaac as he braves the frozen chambers of the Glacier. Ice is prevelant, so he best watch his step lest he slide into incoming foes. Many rooms are exposed to freezing blizzards which chill him, making the simplest of movements tough. But, fear not: warmth is always within reach for those who look for it. Terrifying new threats lurk in every cold corner of the floor. How will you handle Stalagmight, eternally trapped in ice with only his raging temper to keep him company. Or, the lonely Freezerburn, so desperate for a hug. Face old friends now lost and broken, adapted with new forms to survive the ever-chilly climate. Monsnow and Flurry Jr, to name a few. Brave it all and face a new threat that's eerily familiar... Dress up as Sarah, the Loved. Strong of faith, but broken and unable to hold onto her heart. --------- The Binding of Isaac: Revelations is a chapter-based mod. Each additional chapter will expand with a new floor with 3 chapters planned, culminating in a fully alternate path. This mod is entirely additive, designed to be bolted onto any player's run and simply accessed when prefered. We have not modified the core game in anyway beyond adding 25 more items to the pool and an extra core path boss. Glacier, and all additional planned floors, are purely optional. --------- We very strongly recommend disabling other mods for your first Revelations runs. Running additional mods may cause compatibility issues, however we will be addressing these in post-patch updates. Please bare with us, as this will be an ongoing development process. --------- Ashkal - Founder, Spriter (Floor, Promo Art) Sentinel - Founder, Coder (Mechanical Focus) Boogs - Community Manager Filloax - Coder (Item Focus, Videographer) Wertandrew - Music and SFX BlorengeRhymes - Spriter (Bosses, Enemies, Items) Gavitro - Coder (Enemy Focus) AnonymousKoala - Designer, Community Manager JonTheRealJon - Spriter (Bosses, Enemies, Items) Jerb - Lead Tester DeadInfinity - Coder (General Badass) Quartz - Spriter (Enemies, Items) THX - Spriter (Enemies, Items) NotYourSagittarius - Spriter (Enemies, Items) Special Thanks to Testers: Bustin Bullet Ella.

x 243

- ice worms shoot the instant they hide from being above, and have max delay when they get up. more time to hit them + hopefully a more obvious gimmick

- narcissus's movement phase nerfed overall. less speed, less dodge, more firedelay

- lil frost rider & mirror shard work with box of friends

- lil frost rider is turned to ice tray by birth control

- charged baby spawns batteries with birth control

- fix a nil value error in narc, and a typo in stageapi that might've messed up any old ice hazard rooms

- replaced lil frost rider's slippery creep with aquarius creep.

- doubled the size of mirror shard reflected projectiles

- mirror shard now orbits on the same layer as cube of meat

- Friendly fire auras

- Smoly caves fix

- Lil ff + fires fix

- Fix callbacks being somewhat broken

- Fix ice blocks

- Fix empty rooms

- We've been hard at work on chapter 2, which has been gradually taking form and is already looking to top what we produced for chapter 1. In addition to Tomb, we've also gone back to add an extra layer of polish to Glacier. With that in mind, we would like to introduce the Champion update.

- Champion forms of each boss. These unlock once you've killed each boss once, and have their own unique look and very unique mechanics, while retaining the initial flavour of the original line up.

- 3 New Enemies. Yellow Snow, Stalagtrite and Ice Worms, along with a bunch of new rooms to take advantage of these chilly fellas.

- 1 New Item. Lil Frost Rider. A feisty little customer inspired by one of our favourite bosses from chapter 1.

- In addition to this, Narcissus has had some heavy rebalancing, optimisation and new active items added to his attacks. With some extra reskins for vanilla enemies that find their way into Glacier, with some greed waves thrown in for good measure. Along with various bug fixes for a number of issues affecting the mod in general.

- And last but not least, a little treat for anyone interested in chapter 2: Tomb. The splash art featuring all the bosses, and the new playable character.

- https://i.imgur.com/wC345gz.jpg

- Hopefully this will tide you over until Tomb. We'll aim to tease some of the items over the coming weeks as more of chapter 2 comes to fruition. Thank you to everyone for your great feedback and your amazing support.

- Sarah gains a halo when she will get an angel room

- New character menu icon for Sarah

- Fixed seed changing and caves 2 having the same layout as glacier 2

- Fixed boss music in catacombs

- Chargers and maggots got a glacier reskin

- Brother bloody shotspeed down

- Chill Grace Period & Sarah Grace Blocked on greed mode

- Fix AB floor rooms not working

- Fix Stalag Phase 2 Sounds

- Stalactite got a Tell

- Disabling locked items instead of rerolling them

- Fixed snow particles not appearing in phase 2 for stalagmight

- Boss system restructure, shouldn't bug out now, other than not making the original boss visible for a split second

Tboi Revelations Wiki

- Frost rider is forced with BoR

- Burning bush buff, now constant dmg increase in tears, slightly longer fire, and warms you in chill rooms by a bit

- Warm auras now fade out instead of instadisappearing

- Fix braziers respawning

- New commands

- Floor transition music

- More debugging for boss error

- Updated titlescreen sprites

- Added External Item Descriptions support (WORK IN PROGRESS, SOME DESCRIPTIONS ARE INCORRECT)

- Flurry ice block spawn creates a poof

- Hyper dice corruption

how do i get it to work? if u know please contact me on discord: Giorno Giovanna#6477

Giovanna#6477 and ur name is kuyasu? how ironic

i like it

undefined i cant leave the first room after defeating the boss... does anyone know how to fix this?

who's from TearOfGrace

me notswipez

good but im not have afterbirth +

afterbirth + cuz when you get afterbirth + you cant change it to afterbirth so its afterbirth + only

Can you use this for Afterbirth? On the Steam mods page, it says it is compatible with the DLCs Afterbirth and Afterbirth+

Also i have no ideas how to download mods

HOW DO I ACTIVATE THIS MOD

nice mod go go go go

making Mods takes time. however Revelations Chapter 2 has been shown off a bit. I've seen the Thumbnail so it should be here sooner or later.

its out look at steam

i made that post months ago. i know it's out.

no you dont stop lying dude

I hope that you will continue to work on this mod . I'm waiting for chapter 2

This mod is so good, that once completed, it could rival Antibirth! this mod is amazing!

soooo... can u made this for rebirth???

GOOD MODING: defiantly download and play if you finish the normal games with one character

When i put mod folder to mods , this folder will be removed when i run the game.

Having the same problem.

Nevermind. Remove the numbers behind the folders name and it should work.

about the Heavenly Bell. what are the speficif effects it can have. i saw the 'Crawlspace under the dead shopkeeper' one. but what does the rest of the effects do?

THIS IS THE BEST MOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This mod won't work for me. I've followed every guide I could find so far and still nothing.

nice mod bro

afterbirth +

is for afterbirth or rebirth?

its for afterbirth+

Привет всем! HI Guys. I am not speak English Sorry. Так вот этот мод БОЖЕСТВЕННЕН!

Real pro work, congrats Anonymous_Koala. I wish it could work for afterbirth+.

but it does .-.

Well, then it's even better!

The best mod ... ever...

nah i think antibirth is better

This looks rad! i'll have to get it after I complete my 100%!

The Binding Of Isaac Revelations Chapter 2 Free Download

Indeed! there are a lot of mods I want to try, but I want to finish the game normally first. After that, the good stuff will ensue!

Love the concept of the mod, and enjoyed playing it too. The only problem I have with it is when I fought the new harbinger-guy (forgot his name ), after some time he stopped moving, and when I killed him the flys he spawned in ice could not be destroyed (destroying the run). Other than that, I really like this mod.

404, downloads not found

How can i install this? I try to just put it on my aftherbirth+ mod´s folder And nothing... Help!!

download by steam workshop

does it work for just afterbirth?

nops...sowwyy

nops...sowwyy

You can find it on the steam workshop, download it from there and THEN you can play it with AB and AB+

I can't wait for more ;)

this mod is really Beautiful

This mod is great!!

hello there

anonymous_koala respect for going down to the comments and answering

Uh. How do I instaaall?

Put it in your Afterbirth+ Mods folder in 'my games'.

My opinion of the mod:

I love the sprites and the concept of the new floor. Amazing job!

wonderin' if it will work...

Now this, this is a good mod.

Steam Workshop::Revelations (Obsolete)

Nice mod siiir

Crossover is Bad

This is not a gr8 review, i’m just throwing my thoughts down after first watch (cause hell no im not watching it again and i have no patience to even torrent it for a review i don’t have my full faith in cause im not actually a reviewer). I’m also not jewish so this won’t go into depth about how they handled that cause i don’t actually know anything more than the history aspect. 

I should also mention that even though I riff on the writers a lot, I doubt it’s all their fault. Although this whole thing can basically be summed up by I Complain But Also Give Everyone The Benefit Of The Doubt so you know, make your own opinion. I don’t know everything and if you do, you’re lucky. Impart to us your wisdom, maybe. 

also shout out to the first time I have an opinion on tumblr.

if its not apparent already, spoilers.

Crossover is Worse Than You Think

First order of business, let’s get through the problems with the mechanics of the show before we go into the fact that the whole premise is Bad.

 The way everyone just... appeared? Bad. you have all these writers and none of them can think of a way to explain absences and appearances? If you’re working with so many characters, that should be your first order of business. Assign certain people to keep track of certain character if you have to. Why aren’t certain characters at the wedding scene? (*cough* RAY) Why was Mick at the wedding when anyone in their right mind would expect it to cause more problems than it did? Why didn’t Mick bring Ray or Amaya? Despite his grumbling, I would think it would have made sense if Ray was asked to be Mick’s +1, as Ray would be the perfect buffer, and given their history as acknowledged on screen, it would show how far their friendship has come especially after Ray disappeared during their trust fall. Also, why weren’t all the legends invited? Why wasn’t all of team arrow invited? Why wasn’t all of team flash invited? Dibny? gone. did they even invite him? are you telling me he didn’t clock in at all when there were very obvious Nazi’s literally swarming? what is his excuse?

the problem is, these characters have no excuses for being absent. No one mentions why Dibny is awol, no one mentions “oh, [character] couldn’t make it” or “[character] is [possibly comics throwback]”. When some characters just magically appear halfway through like “oh, we were just waiting for you to call even though we gave no reason for us not to know about the nazis especially since we already seem completely briefed.” no mention of a previous anachronism or baddie they were busy doing while most people were at the wedding. Nothing like “we just got back fighting [baddie/in year] and now we gotta punch some nazi’s.” where was everyone? apparently just waiting offscreen for their turn to kick ass. 

another missing character that definitely should have been invited; Hartley Rathaway. there's not a single mention of him. he’s good now!!! where is he!!!! I want a scene where cisco sneaks away and calls him up like, “i know you and barry are awkward considering everything but he invited you so i think you should be here!!!” have Andy call in his roll, maybe have someone shoot a sound thing off screen and think it’s canary when it definitely isn’t! This man still exists in canon as a friend of team flash, at least mention why he couldnt make it!!!!! 

I’m not that great! I don’t know shit! I’m an amateur writer barely making it through writing his first book! But I do know that instead of humanizing Nazi’s with love, you could have spent a little more time fleshing out the world your main characters are in. i mean seriously. bringing in just a mention of hartley rathaway? Bam. a question everyone’s been asking is answered AND your universe feels more real by the fact that this character is now probably doing something completely independent of any storyline.  there are ways to use these characters even when their actors are not available. you own the rights to use these characters!!! the actors dont own them!!! they arent automatically off the table, especially cause a lot of them have masks on, put them in a background shot my dude! like i said before, you don’t even have to have any part of them or their costume on screen to show they still exist! this! is! not! news! this is working with what you got, and you got a lot more than you think you do! if you actually don’t have the power to do that, then you must have the worst contract negotiator known to mankind. 

that was longer than i anticipated me going on for, but next problem: Leo

once again, appeared out of nowhere, this time in a fully populated area where he should have come barging in, obvious signs of cold chaos behind him, probably moving quite similar to his counterpart. maybe give barry more of a shock, instead of just a look of, “oh, he’s nice this time, thats kinda unexpected.” why? cause it’s not unexpected. not for Barry at least. 

you know what i dont buy? aloof Leonard Snart. Sure, it makes a good act, but is it one that Leo would hold up next to Mick? especially when he seems to drop it for his boyfriend. Do you really think that Leo would not notice the way Mick refers to him, and not try to give him some form of comfort besides a passing sentence that feels like the equivilant of “get over it.” they both lost each other, leo may not be as close to his mick as mick was to len, but we already know that Leonard Snart is far from emotionally stunted, his last iteration was full of emotion and you can tell that this Leo is the same, if not even more, so where even a single second of understanding before the scene cuts. It feels like you did this to address a fan concern, without seeing it as your concern. guess what? it is your concern! why? cause its a loose thread, and it was pointed out for a reason. The script is getting on the level of a daytime soap my dude. whatever internal problem is causing this lack of quality, it needs to be addressed. And don’t let me hear about it cause I don’t want to know! I just want to see it improved! 

A bit of good that came from that scene, Mick struggling to figure out how he should verbally react to the way he died on Earth X. 

Also, giving Len a boyfriend, pretty good. i have nitpicks but they arent important to this.

Alex

Sex is not character development! If you gotta have it, it should have been after the heart to heart with Sara! I do get it to a certain extent though, but the way it’s handled leaves a lot more to be desired. you get this pickup to a good minor plot that just can’t be completed. I can’t even see how this helped Sara grow as a character in any way, even though it was probably supposed to be about seeing damien darhk again and dealing with him, but you don’t hear that! Just a little line about Laurel. Minor complaint, they missed out on mentioning Sara also has the whole, my sister has an evil doppelganger thing, Although I don’t think she knows so I’m mourning the loss of the impossible on this one. Circumstantial humour there. 

The Ray

have we seen him before? on any dctv show? I dont know! i have no clue! He looks familiar but I even googled it and nothing! (doesn’t help that he shares a name with Ray Palmer) He’s supposed to be from Earth 1, right? Where is he! please tell me, I wanna know. He looks familiar but I could just be giving you the benefit of the doubt! you can’t just be like “oh he’s also from earth 1″ and just leave it there. How? And then he doesn’t stay and I doubt that the rest of the team really cares but I care! i care a lot!

also, why is Eobard Thawne the same Eobard? i mean, I forgot how much i enjoyed Tom’s performance as Eobard, good on you, you almost got me distracted, but like, he cant just (say it with me guys) appear. also, he has no motivation! cool! i hate it! the only thing i could possibly think of is he just wants to see his earth again but also he hates the time period so what!!! literally just make him a different Eobard! you don’t need to explain why his face is Tom because you already explained that Earth X is just Earth 1 with Nazis! (which um, also time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters)

with leads me to my next problem!

time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters!!!

also, you mean to tell me in a world where everything’s the same except nazi’s, that Kara Zor-El did not immediately rage against the machine, especially if the who earth looked like a burning sepia photograph. also, dead bodies! same on any planet! She’s gunna freak! you can’t escape death and wholeheartedly accept genocide like that! not without a very good reason. really, instead of giving kara/x a dumb love thing, maybe make it about what shaped each of their beliefs despite coming from the same beginnings cause once again, it was established that everything’s the same except nazi’s, so krypton still died. and since you gotta shoehorn arrow in Bad Town, make it an unrequited love! cool! Cause Nazi’s portrayed on tv don’t deserve happiness! Sadly I can’t stop actual Nazi’s from finding love! Wish I could! Also why is Oliver the weak link when he’s the Fuhrer? its dumb, really dumb. also, Overgirl’s death is dumb, especially since it should have killed Kara as well. Basic logic says if a blast kills your doppelganger and you’re pretty close to next to them (guessing that Kara was able to escape a ways even though they were shown to be basically next to each other) you’re going to get more than a little falling action.

Also, you know what happens to jewish characters (and basically anyone who’s not a cis straight aryan at that point) on Earth X? pretty fucking obvious. You know what happens when you lose that much of a population and try to compare it to an earth without that loss? You realize you lose a lot more than you think, and a lot more things change. you probably don’t even have to think about it that hard, someone’s probably already done that thought experiment!

Here’s one I gotta shoehorn in,

Joe mentions the fact that Iris and Barry are both his children in a speech when they’re about to get married. Heres an option: Dont! Say how much he enjoyed seeing them grow up together without mentioning any familial bond that connects the two people getting married. Cool! You know why? Crossovers pull in new viewers! Also Supergirl has a younger audience! These! People! Don’t! Know! Any! Better! 

Killing a Canon Jewish Character in an Episode about Nazi’s

There’s no way to paint this in a way that’s not shitty, especially when he didn’t have to die. You could have let him go back to his family. I can’t imagine what the thought process for this was. Shock value?! I don’t know. Maybe, because everyone expected Victor’s end to be Stein going home to his family. If it was, this really wasn’t the episode to do it in.

Next Up! Nazis!

Not good! Trying to backpedal and make your main villains have a non-nazi-ish reason for conflict? Worse! Nazi’s don’t deserve sympathy! They aren’t just a group of people in history! They’re a group of people in history who advocated for and took part in the absolute slaughter of millions. The numbers I checked agree it was near a billion when you include beyond just those who were jewish. What makes it worse is that this stain on human history has not died out. Sure, we all love punching Nazi’s, but as I understand, theres a lot more to it than that. Now we get into the part where my expertise lacks. As I understand it, one of the biggest problems in the comics is jewish coded heroes fighting as Nazis. How well did they avoid this? I don’t know! Someone please add to this! I want to know! 

So, if I hated the crossover, why did I watch it?

The flippant answer is that i hate-watched it. watched it for the sole purpose of leaving a bad review. That’s not really the reason. If it was, why would i complain on tumblr of all places? i think the real reason was that I just had to know. I just wanted to give the dctv the benefit of the doubt because I love the flash so much, and that love ends up extending through a lot of the other shows and characters, and I wanted to trust that even though the whole premise was Bad, that they had a handle on it. I keep coming back because I’ve grown attached to these characters so much, leaving feels like leaving a part of me. But that’s just me, a lot of other people have their reasons for staying, and a lot of it is no longer about the quality of the show itself. It means we’re all holding on by our fingernails desperately trying to hold on to that magic or pretend it hasn’t faded. Eventually we’re going to let go. What does that mean for the show? Are they just going to lose a small portion of fans, or a whole sector? How many are going to find the changes better than the previous season and take our place? I dont know! i live in an internet bubble my dude! Tumblr isn’t great for gathering analytics! All I know is, bad writing doesn’t make or break a cw show. It’s the cw, I mean what do you expect? I signed up for this, i made my bed, i’ve chosen to lie in it, I can get up whenever i want, its just a matter of when because some day, I’m going to get fed up. You might have my view for a little while longer, but you won’t have my confidence, you won’t have my support.

I don't get turned on anymore. I haven't in a few months. I am 21 female, I do smoke alot of pot which I heard doesn't help. I can't figure out why Im like this? Is it possible my past relations made me this way? My last significant other was like this they were not really into sex and they didn't make me feel very wanted in that aspect.

Hi! Thanks for your question. There are certainly a handful of things that could be causing this.

To start, yes, smoking pot doesn’t always help. Like any one (or combination of) drug(s) affects people differently, marijuana is no exception. For the bulk majority of my pot-smoking career I would experience intense euphoria after smoking and my sex drive would spike drastically. I loved having sex with myself and with partners and was so fully engaged and intertwined in the experience that I considered this to be some of the most sensual sex I ever had in my life. After going some time without smoking and then picking it back up again, I found that smoking caused my sex drive to dramatically decrease. I was no longer sexually interested in my partner while high, less interested in my partner while sober, and found that when I was high I became incredibly self conscious. It was an extreme contrast from the experiences I had in the past, which left me feeling pretty jolted for a while. Crazy how things change, huh.

On the topic of pot, I am curious if there are any other drugs that you are taking. SSRI’s have been proven to drastically effect sex drive, as well as medicine for epilepsy, ADHD, blood pressure, anti-psychotics, pain management, AND birth control. 

So the first thing I want you to consider is if you are taking any of those drugs, and how often. If you are, I would suggest contacting your doctor, setting up an appointment, and addressing your concerns. Most health professionals acknowledge that libido is a vital part of our lives, and will make accommodations accordingly. If they don’t, you might need a new doctor. *

Another thing to consider is what birth control you are or are not on. If you are taking hormonal birth control, like oral contraceptives or a hormonal IUD, they can and often do effect your sex drive by lowering your testosterone levels. If you are on a hormonal birth control, go to your doctor or gynecologist and have a discussion about potential other options. I know that the copper IUD and condoms are two solid options! It’s all about finding what works for you.

* If you are in Louisville, Kentucky, message me again and I can connect you with my lady doctors. They are seriously a dream team and are some of the most helpful and understanding women I have ever encountered in my life.

Something I also seriously consider would be doing a full blood scan. These can typically be done through your primary doctor or gynecologist office. For perspective: I was on one birth control for 7 years that I felt worked just fine with my body. Suddenly, my prescription changed to a generic brand and my body reacted terribly. I became depressed, my skin, body changed, and sex drive changed (negatively) amongst many other things. It was so bad that I actually thought I had developed bi-polar disorder. When I mentioned this to my doctor she suggested that we look at my blood levels. These tests revealed a huge spike in my estrogen that was caused by my ‘new’ birth control. Needless to say, after switching methods I successfully confirmed that I am indeed not bi-polar, and realized the huge role that synthetic hormones have on my body.

Doing a blood-screen will also give you good insight into your overall health, which plays a massive role in your sex drive - which leads me to my next point, being your diet and activity level. Do you have a balanced diet? How often are you exercising? What are your hobbies? I could go on and on, but what I’m getting at is how generally healthy are you? If you find that you spend a lot of time sedentary, or eating high-fat, high-sugar, high-carb food, this could play a huge role in the decline in your libido. 

To address your last concern, totally, it is definitely possible that your past relationships have affected the way you view sexuality. When humans spend large amounts of time with people it’s easy to become accustomed to their ways. We start to use the same lingo, share the same beliefs, shop at the same places - the list goes on. If you are in a romantic relationship with someone who didn’t openly or frequently express their sexual desires to you, it makes sense that this is what you became accustomed to. However, that being said, it should not have a substantial overall effect on your sex drive as a whole. What about solo sex?

Are you masturbating? If so how frequently or infrequently? Do you ever look at other people and become sexually aroused? Do you have sexual fantasies? Did you used to have a more vibrant sexual past and it just recently became dull within the past few months, or did you feel a gradual decline for a while? There are a lot of things to consider, and it is important to assess whether you are not feeling turned on towards others or turned on in general. How much sexual attention are you giving to your own body?

Additionally, there are plenty of life factors that come into play. You mentioned that you smoke weed. You mentioned that your last relationship wasn’t exceptionally sexual. Have you recently started a new job? Are you overwhelmed with school? Did you recently move? Are you having a tough time in a friendship? Are you happy with the way you look? Are you living in a new environment? Sometimes these things take the forefront of our attention and sex becomes less important. This is just part of the ebb and flow of life. Sure, in a dream world we are all balancing school and work and a social life and our sexuality equally and proficiently, but that just can’t always be the case, so the less important things take the back seat. Consider what other external factors might be occurring here and you will probably gain a bit of insight.

So here is your homework in a nutshell: Figure out if any potential medicine you are taking is effecting you. Consider testing your blood levels. Incorporate more activity into your daily life as well as nutrient-dense meals. Make sure you are sleeping enough. Make sure you are practicing self love so that you feel sexually attractive to yourself, as well as potential partners. Explore fantasies that you have perhaps left in the background of your brain and see if these elicit exciting sexual feelings. Watch some porn if you watch porn. Read some books on sex if you like to read. Talk to friends, see if they have been in a similar funk. Google some stuff. Read some forums. Consider seeing a sex therapist if these feelings don’t subside. Try to set aside time to masturbate, even if you aren’t necessarily in the mood. Try to reconnect with your body in a way that you might have in the past. But most importantly, delve into all the facets in your life and see if there is any one thing you can pinpoint, and if you find it, tweak it. You know what’s going on inside of you better than anyone else.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to have a high sex drive for the time being. Some people just don’t - and if you don’t now, that’s not to say you won’t for long. Like I said, it ebbs and flows. I am a self-identified sex freak and there are times where I go weeks, even months without having sex. It always comes back. Tap into yourself and find what works for your body, your mentality, and your emotional-mental-sexual self. You’ll find the answer there.

Xx

my family business is a mess, I name a really low salary expectation, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My family business is a mess, but my mom won’t listen to me

I work for my family’s business. For a long time, it was a small mom and pop operation and my parents were easily able to manage the administrative and operational aspects on their own. However, in the past three years, our company has grown at a rapid rate. We went from a handful of clients in one state to around 25 clients spread across eight states. Our employee headcount has quadrupled.

The anticipated bumps in the road from such rapid growth are more along the lines of massive potholes. My mother (the CEO) insists that we are able to manage all aspects of the business with six dedicated administrative employees, including me. However, I don’t think you need to be a business consultant to know that six people are not enough to manage nearly 200 employees. As a result, everyone around here wears many hats. Even though I know nothing about HR, health insurance, 401K administration, payroll deductions, and a myriad of other issues, those are all items that I have to manage day to day. I’ve tried to teach myself to the best of my abilities, but I have reached the limits of what I can learn on my own. Our struggles are not only limited to staffing, but processes and procedures. The things we had in place when we were a company of 40 people no longer work for us. No one here has clearly defined job descriptions and there are relatively few procedures in place, so fire drills are an everyday occurrence for us.

To make matters worse, my mother takes a hybrid micromanaging/hands-off approach to the administrative staff. She refuses to give directions beyond a simple sentence of what she wants done (she defines anything beyond that as “hand-holding”), yet she insists on approving every little thing that we do. She invests all of her time in the company’s finances, and I often find myself at an impasse over my own responsibilities.

I’ve given you all of this background because I clearly see the problems within our organization, and I have developed solutions and given recommendations to my mother. The problem is, she does not share my concerns. Every time I highlight a problem, she says that it isn’t a priority, doesn’t have the budget to fix it, will address it later, or even says that I am just creating problems. But from my perspective, I see an overwhelmed and understaffed administration, high employee turnover, and no attempt to fix any of it. Because it is my family’s company, I cannot be dispassionate or simply find a new job. This company is just as much mine and I want it to thrive. How can I institute change within this company when I have no support from my boss?

You probably can’t, just like working at any other business run by a terrible manager who refuses to change things. Because the CEO is your mom, you have more leeway to have a really blunt conversation with her about the problems you see — but ultimately if she’s not open to change, you can’t force her to (assuming that you and other family members don’t own a controlling stake in the business where you could overrule her). Do other members of the management team agree with you? If so, you and they can try approaching her as a group to propose putting someone else in charge of managing the day-to-day operations, or you can try doing that on your own … but if she won’t budge and you don’t have the authority to make her budge, then you don’t really have options here.

In that case, you’d be better off going elsewhere and working in a context where you’ll actually be able to thrive. This doesn’t sound like that context. (And while there can be real benefits to learning as you go, there are huge disadvantages to that too — especially that you don’t know what you don’t know, and you can end up making serious mistakes. Professionally speaking, you’re better off working in a well managed company and developing your skills there. And who knows, maybe there will be a way for you to bring those skills back to your family company at some point in the future, if it’s being run differently. You might find the “I’m the Boss’s Daughter” episode of the AAM podcast interesting.)

2. I give a very low number when asked for salary expectations

I have been applying for a lot of jobs in an unusual field of work (let’s say llama whispering) and applications keep asking me what I need to be paid. I’m at the point in my life where being paid at all is a real novelty, so I’m trying to figure out what number to put in that will not insult the company and also cause me not to starve to death. My current strategy is looking up “living wage in (location)” and then plugging that in. I’ve also been plugging in slightly higher than whatever minimum wage is. Really I’m just wildly guessing. What’s the magic number? Aren’t they supposed to already know? Can I just say, “As much as you would pay the boys?” I just want to be the best llama whisperer I can be while also not dying. Help!

Oooh, don’t do that! Unless this is a field that pays that low, you’re undercutting yourself — and not only that, you might be actually getting yourself rejected for these jobs, because a lot of recruiters will take a weirdly low salary request as a sign that you don’t have enough experience for the job.

I know this is a huge pain and it would be nice if employers just told you what they plan to pay, but most of them don’t and you’ve got to do your own research so that you’re able to have a reasonable salary discussion with them. There’s advice here on how to do that.

3. How do my manager and I move past an argument?

Yesterday I had a disagreement with my manager about some changes she was implementing. The actual change wasn’t the main issue, however; it was a straw that broke the camel’s back situation. I’m under pressure, she’s under pressure, and in her words we had a “vigorous” discussion, becoming quite heated at one point. We both talked it out, but we were interrupted by a client and then she had to unexpectedly head off to our satellite office to deal with an emergency situation there.

I don’t like workplace (or any) conflict. I usually avoid it wherever possible. I don’t know how to move on. We’ve only talked via IM since. Normally she would have called at least once to catch up. The IM conversations we’ve had have been light-hearted, I think because neither of us wants to start anything up again.

I find it mentally exhausting dealing with her. She wants my thoughts, but then doesn’t like it when I disagree and give reasons why I don’t think things will work and suggest other ways. If I do think they will work out, I say so. Either way, if she decides it’s the way to go, I will support that decision with our clients even if they are not happy with the change. The thing is, on reflection, a couple of points she raised (but not all) were true – she’s right, she is my manager, and I do question a lot of changes that she is recommending and she finds it exhausting dealing with me.

We didn’t get a chance to finish up and move on, so I don’t know whether to raise it or not. She’s working from home for the next few days, so I won’t see her in person until nearly a week has passed since the conflict. I don’t quite know what to say, or whether to be like Elsa and let it go and let the awkwardness pass, or to say that I’d reflected on the points she raised, and that I realize she’s right in xyz?

If you realized she’s right about some of what she said, tell her that! Any manager in this situation would be relieved and pleased to hear that, and it reflects well on you that you took some time to digest the conversation and are willing to modify your thinking. Say something like, “I wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking about our conversation the other day and I realized that you’re right about X and Y. I’m going to try to do ___ differently in the future and hopefully you’ll see a difference.”

Ideally you’d say that in person — and I don’t think it’s a big deal to wait a few days until that can happen.

4. How do I remind my boss he owes me money?

I travel for work. My boss doesn’t usually come along, but this was a special circumstance where he needed to be there. We decided to hit a baseball game one evening after work and had to buy tickets online. I just happened to find the cheaper/better tickets as we were both searching, so I bought with the understanding he would pay me back. He specifically said he would as it’s obviously not expensable. He left for the week, his flight was a day before mine, and never mentioned it or paid me back. It’s $65, which is a fairly significant amount of money to me. I’m remote so I won’t see him in person again for who knows how long. Should I bring it up? I don’t think it was malicious, I think he just forgot. But it feels awkward to bring it up. Not sure what to do here.

Most likely he did just forget, and he’d probably be mortified if he knew you were stressing over it. It won’t be awkward to remind him — after all, think about if the roles were reversed; I doubt you would think it was weird for someone to remind you, right?

Just be matter-of-fact about it — “hey, can you Venmo me that $65 for the tickets when you have a chance?” That’s it! (If you don’t talk frequently, it’s fine to do this in email or Slack or however you most often communicate.)

5. What are good wellness initiatives?

Our nonprofit has a small budget ($15k) to use for employee wellness initiatives. We’ve already purchased water bottles with our logo for everyone, had a day of on-site chair massages, and bought a few under-desk elliptical and bike machines for people to “check out.” Standing desks or treadmill desks have been rejected due to space constraints. We’ve also considered healthy snacks, providing a yoga class, bringing in a nutritionist, and bringing in an ergonomics consultant. Are there any other things you would suggest?

You named literally everything I would have suggested. I love your list! (I’m assuming they’re all optional and no one is being required to do yoga or talk to the nutritionist.)

I’m throwing this out to commenters to see what other suggestions people might have for you.

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my family business is a mess, I name a really low salary expectation, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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