#im on tumblr every day of my life but i never share stuff. i do a tonnnn of oc stuff on dA
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I made these two tiny guys for a little illustrated story and I literally love them so much u don't even know
#nxcx#meks#gabe#im on tumblr every day of my life but i never share stuff. i do a tonnnn of oc stuff on dA
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what’s your damage about “gifted kids”?? i mean, i was a nightmare in class but i don’t see any reason to have issues with them
please read this im begging you. i put off breakfast for an hour writing this bc i really care about it
i even capitalized stuff and did punctuation to make it easier to read.
The biggest thing that bothers me is that there is so much content for and about ppl who are “gifted kid burnouts”. It’s literally everywhere on every website, there are thousands of posts and everyone on this site reblogs them. It’s inescapable. And because this subset of people gets so much attention, anyone who didn’t have the “gifted” experience who also wants to talk about their struggles in school gets. Basically ignored.
(Sorry this is long I just wanna explain it as well as I can) On tumblr the “gifted kid problems” thing is extremely popular bc this is the ppl-who-read-books-instead-of-talking-to-people website. Which is totally fine, and I wouldn’t mind it if it didn’t feel like I was the only person out of millions who wasn’t gifted. If someone makes a post about being a burnt out gifted kid it gets thousands of notes. If I make a post about how being the “stupid kid” my whole life fucked me up, it gets three likes from my mutuals and then dies and is never seen again.
I think it also has a lot to do with the idea that overworking yourself, and getting straight As (even if you’re not actually learning anything!), is highly praised in Society. Because schools need good test scores if they want to keep getting money. Bad test scores, while literally being part of the learning process because we learn from mistakes, don’t bring in the funds. So the “dumb” kids get treated like shit, and teachers have to teach kids how to pass tests, instead of actually getting the material into their brains in a meaningful way. If you skip meals and don’t sleep to cram for tests, you’re considered a better student than someone who prioritizes their mental and physical wellbeing.
So you get the culture of kids who brag about sleeping three hours every night and having an iced coffee as their meal for the day, and the less you take care of yourself the more cool and relatable you are. Which I don’t really blame them for. When the school system is this fucked up and you’re struggling this much, of course you want to tell people how much it’s hurting you. I think a lot of people just want someone to tell them that’s not okay, and they shouldn’t have to neglect themselves so much. But unfortunately, it’s usually impossible to graduate college without overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and illness. So it continues.
I think it’s good that people are posting and sharing their experiences and trying to unlearn the bad habits and mentality. But unfortunately a lot of the “gifted kid” people still think or at least act like they’re the only ones who struggled in school. Because they worked the hardest, they deserve more attention. (I also think being constantly praised by teachers as a child and being the favorite plays a part in the attention seeking behavior).
So anyone who physically couldn’t overwork themselves to the point of earning the “gifted” label, because of disabilities or any other reason (don’t even get me started on the expectation that all autistic people are great at school (((non-gifted non-savant autistic kids are treated like worthless failures their whole lives)))), those people don’t deserve to have the whole internet feel bad for them. You couldn’t see them working themselves to exhaustion studying or doing homework, because their everyday lives were already exhausting, and they literally couldn’t spend any more energy on school.
So, if someone makes a post about how hard it is to do any schoolwork at all, and how their school experience was torture because the classes weren’t made to actually teach them and they weren’t good at test taking, you ignore it, because you “worked harder” and still struggled just as much. Or you comment and say “Oh same but I got all A’s and can write an essay in 5 minutes without even trying and I can read books at the speed of light” or “Oh and did you know how many gifted kids are autistic and adhd. I’m autistic and adhd and it made me so good at school” because you’re so used to having everything cater to you.
My goal isn’t to minimize burnt out gifted kids issues and trauma, it’s to get people to understand that they aren’t the only ones that deserve pity and sympathy. School fucked everyone up in different ways and it sucks no matter how good your grades were.
So no I don’t hate gifted kids themselves just for being gifted (although I will admit I absolutely have a grudge of burning jealousy bc I wish society liked me as much as them, which is where my urge to insult them comes from), I hate the way they act, on social media and in real life. You can post about your struggles and that’s totally fine, but if someone makes a post about how hard school was for them because they weren’t good at it, instead of commenting that your experience was different, or literally just ignoring it, maybe reblog it. Because school sucked and you both had it hard. Maybe even leave some sympathetic or understanding tags (without making it about you) if you’re feeling it.
but if they go on here and make fun of ppl who arent good at school or any academic skills and call them stupid then i hate them and im hitting them with my car
#ok im gonna go eat breakfast now#thanks for coming to my presentation#i say things#i want you people to see this#asks#anon#no reblogs anymore i dont want to fight with people online
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this isn’t hate so don’t take it as such but it’s really confusing seeing you have one foot in, one foot out of the fandom and then getting mad when people don’t follow or understand where you’re at
I don’t read everything you post, I’m not on tumblr often but i saw you said you’re not writing for joe rn (completely fine and valid) but you answered an ask the other day about how much of a dream it would be to have him fall in love with you (when anon said you looked like liv) AND hes still your profile pic and username. I understand the username is effort to change but he is still all over your blog and some days it seems like you’re in a good mood to talk about him and the next you’re so done and it’s just really confusing at this point. if you’re done with him, that’s fine, just pls say so bc it’s confusing when you’re like “u never know!” but also “im not in a joe mood rn” but also “I’d love him to fall in love with me and that would be a dream” and then get mad when we send asks like I genuinely just don’t understand if you love or hate him? you’ve kinda given the impression of both and it’s fine either way but pls just be clear bc it seems like we’re pissing you off but you’re not clear on where you stand and idgi cjdjdmd i thought you were done with him but then I saw the liv ask where u said it would be a dream for him to fall in love with u, so I thought ��ok ur not writing for him, but you still like him and wanna talk ab him’, and he’s ur prof pic and stuff so I was like ok safe assumption, but then it seemed like u got mad when I sent u a tweet so im just confused fjfjffjd
i hope you understand this isn’t hate and i genuinely love your blog. i just think being clear would be helpful and if ur rlly done with him, even just for now, being straight up would be better than saying youd love him to fall in love w u and then basically telling us to shut up ab him the next day bc ur in ur hockey era rn 😭
sending this with love! once again not hate just don’t like being chastised
“this is the only ask i’ll answer regarding this. “
felt like I was being told off by a teacher in school when I just didn’t know bc u said he’s your favourite last week and some other positive things the other day😭
🤍
i don’t really know how to answer this lol. first of all, i’m not mad at anyone. i just get a little annoyed.
i want to start by saying, i don’t hate joe. i hate what the joe community on tumblr has turned into. you can’t post anything anymore without receiving hate or some sort of comment that isnt so nice. it’s frustrating to see so many good blogs and genuinely nice people receive hate because of the things they post.
we’re all on here just trying to have fun and post positive things about our favorites!
i do not expect you to read every single thing i post on here. i don’t expect that out of anyone that reads my stuff or follows me.
yes, joe absolutely is all over my blog. i’m a fan of his, i write for him, he has been my blog for a whole year now. i don’t mind receiving asks about joe, literally at all. when it comes to his personal life and what he’s doing though…it’s different.
i didn’t create my blog to talk about or speculate anything about joes personal life/life outside of football. i made this blog to write about, see pics of, and meet other people who shared a love for him and the sport too. all this community has turned into the last few months has been drama and speculation which is NOT what im here for.
i’ve moved onto hockey because football wasn’t my interest anymore and that’s okay. i didn’t say to shut up about joe, you absolutely can talk about him. i simply just said i’ve moved on.
i get a little frustrated when i get asks about when in writing fics or updating for him because i’ve said multiple times that im taking a step back and taking a break from writing about joe. am i not allowed to be a fan and say i love him without him being the focus of my blog anymore? lol.
i didn’t mean to “chastise” anyone, i just was simply saying i’m not going to answer anymore asks about what the tweet was about because it’s ALL over tumblr right now. many blogs are receiving hate, talking about the subject, etc. and i just don’t want to be apart of that. i did not create my blog to talk about his personal life or have any drama.
i’ve stopped writing about joe because of what the community has become. he has nothing to do with it.
i appreciate you being honest with me on how you feel about my blog and my approach with this! i didn’t mean to come off the way i did when i answered your ask about the tweet, i just didn’t want to contribute to the conversation anymore and make it a bigger deal than it already is.
with that being said, it’s been great on here with yall but i’m stepping away from the “joemunity”. thanks for being so amazing🤍
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Get to Know Me - Sims Style
i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things
what's your favourite sims death?
ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?
alpha cc or mm?
alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.
do you cheat your sims weight?
only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.
do you move objects
i move objects every single day.
fave mod?
ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.
first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?
my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.
do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?
i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.
who's your favourite sim that you've made?
well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.
have you made a simself?
oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.
favourite ea hair
im with aimee on this one.
im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.
favourite life stage?
young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.
are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.
are you a cc creator?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BAHAHAHA
HA
once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.
do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?
somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway.
the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav
these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly.
but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH
do you have any sims merch?
bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.
do you have a youtube for sims?
i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.
how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?
as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.
this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?
whose your favourite cc creator?
the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are
@kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank
how long have u had simblr?
since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.
how do you edit your pictures?
with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.
what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?
of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.
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hi hello this is user a_Saga_in_progress from ao3 and I uh. am new here. idk if this is how this is meant to be used but I wanted to say hi! do you have advice on how tumblr works for new users?
Hello its lovely to see you! And yeah if someone's ask box is open putting 'hi' is perfectly acceptable <3
Advice on tumblr... Err... Okay first off I've been here for over 10 years and /still/ don't really know how it works. But! I shall do my best.
If you're on browser, take the time to install xkit rewritten (or whichever form of xkit is most up to date). This has so many quality of life features like auto-tagging your reblogs and making tag bundles
I can't remember if tumblr by recommended is still a thing, but go into your settings and tell it to display dash in chronological anyway. I'd also recommend turning ON custom theme (biggest bonus - a version of your blog that links can be made to without tumblr demanding viewers log in on mobile - but also enables a month by month fast archive), OFF share following, and have an explore about other options. Things like turning your ask box on and off and also submissions are super helpful if you ever have problems with people sending you hate. I've been lucky enough not to, but its a social media platform, it can happen. Also you never have to have asks or submissions on ever if you don't want to. I'd also recommend snoozing tumblr live every month because otherwise you will be shown pictures of half naked women on your dash trying to get you to use it. God only knows why.
the site runs mostly on reblogs. This puts a copy of your post onto your blog, where people who follow you can then see it in turn! You can add comments to these - which again is always acceptable so long as you're being polite - which unlike twitter quote retweets will not 'steal' stats from the OP. You'll get notifications for likes and reblogs with that addition, the OP will still get those ones as well. Same goes for writing things in tags.
There's 3 ways to add comment on a post - reblog with comment, tags, and replies. Comment is just you add more stuff to the post, and anyone who reblogs it from you will share those too - an addition to the content. Replies are like quiet chatter - anyone can see them and reply if they click the button to view, but they're not in their face. There's often a lot of crap there, but welcome to any platform. Tags are, theoretically, for filing, but because people can see them they're often used to add bits of commentry - in the past they were only visible to your followers and visitors to your blog without extensions, though now they're visible to the OP, whomever you reblogged from, and anyone looking in the notes. However tags have no direct way to reply - sometimes people will reblog from the person whose tags they are responding to, or screenshot them and add them to the post, but there's no built in feature for it unlike replies. Whichever way you choose, comments are how community is built.
Tags! The first five tags are searchable, the rest aren't. Put most important stuff there. The system also breaks constantly.
Learn where the 'report for spam' buttons are for IMs and new followers. You will get some, sooner or later. Even my unlisted side blogs manage it.
You have a limit of 250 posts per day over your blog and any side blogs! I only started hitting this when I started liveblogging qsmp, tho, so don't worry /too/ much.
For sideblogs, the UI for deleting them is /really bad/. If you go to a sideblog, then its specific blog settings, then scroll down to the button which says 'delete [name of sideblog]', this button will delete your entire account, not just the sideblog. And getting it back isn't possible in most cases
Your block list is private, make use of it. Block specific tags for your triggers ("fandom neg" is a good start tbh), spam accounts, block anyone being an ass, block people because you see them a lot and you don't like their artstyle but people you follow do and you just want it off your blog - there is no morality involved in blocking, just do it to make your tumblr a happier place.
Unless someone says not to in their description, just scrolling through their entire blog and liking/reblogging things is fair game.
Likes do not share things to other people (and so artists will get sad if they get many likes and not many reblogs) but are super useful to mark when you've already seen something, or if you're (like me) sometimes on mobile and sometimes on computer and want to save them for the computer where tagging is a bit easier. I'd personally recommend turning them to private in settings, but each to their own.
The queue! Beloved queue. If you add things to your queue they will auto-post later. I use it for when I hit post count, and also to store up reblogged art for later.
Concerning side blogs - you can only follow, like and send asks from your main account, but you can post on, reblog to, recieve messages to, and reply from any (replying from side accounts is very new and very exciting). (So my case is obvious but if you see @factorialrabbits about in your notifications, that's my main, this is a side <3 )
Tagging/atting people! If you want someone's attention on a post, you use "@", then type their name. This doesn't always work, and should be used sparingly as it's basically like showing up to their front door and yelling for them lol. I mostly see it used for reblog games, and if someone's asked for say specific clips or timestamps for a VoD alerting them to a post which has them.
Search is fucky, but its a good way to find art. I tend not to search by tags, just keywords, then swap to most recent. Trying to find a specific post after its gone, though? good luck you'll need it.
Not a modern tumblr, but trivia - historically you used to be able to get an email address for your blog, and any email you sent to that address would be posted to it, and of all tumblr features I miss it the most.
Hopefully that helps? I need to go get some groceries but am happy to answer specific questions if you have them <3 I'm just never sure where to start lol
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not sure if i already did this before here, but consider this a formal introduction to the transfer of my twitter media thread to tumblr. and im starting it with a really special one!!!
Tonight............. i finished Super Lesbian Animal RPG by Bobby Schroeder (@ponett / @slarpg) with my friends. I shared the experience with two who had played the game already, and another who was as blind as me.
i will say without going into at all, but if you are a gay furry (especially trans) and love stuff like sonic, or MLP:FiM, or just gay fantasy in general, go play this game. It's REALLY GOOD! going in blind was a treat. That being said, here's my thots.................. theres a LOT!!!!!
i didn't actually find out about SLARPG until i began reading the sonic archie comics a year or so back. i needed a reading order and by GOD did I find one. not to start this post about slarpg with a ramble about sonic archie, but it was genuinely such a great read, and all the stuff on Thanks, Ken Penders ( @thankskenpenders ), made it all the more enjoyable! that ASIDE it's also how i saw the author of the blog, who i realized i was following already for awhile, was making her own game! and one so shamelessly gay and furry as well! i was INSTANTLY interested...
after the game came out, it took me awhile to get around to it. it wasn't until someone very close to me got really into it that i decided i'd commit the time. it took 20 hours of gay activity, but i started it having silly fun voice acting a bunch of animals with my friends, and ended with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.
the game is written in a way that just gels perfectly with me. everything is both very casual feeling, but also genuine. it's never really ashamed of what it is, and that's all i can ask for from a game with a name like Super Lesbian Animal RPG.
The characters are easily the highlight of the game, never once feeling like simple cutouts or stereotypes. Everyone is just a delight to read. My favorites were easily Melody, Allison, and the man himself Javis. Being a gay ADHD filled bunny with a love for hitting things with sticks and hammers, Allison especially spoke to me.
The world of SLARPG is only seen through a small vertical slice, with the vastness left to your mind, which works very well in its favor. Slowly as you explore the areas your presented, you learn more and more about the world just through your own intuition. Discover the races that live on the planet, where the characters all came from to get here, the power structures put into place, how magic has effected such a modernized world. It makes you want to learn so much more, really. I found myself really interested in the vague lore we get of the supposed Gods that make up the powers of the world, which I hope can be further expanded on one day.
As a Video Game(tm), id say it does exactly what it sets out to do. I'm an RPG Girl, i love Figuring Shit Out in them. I play them headfirst and love to make strategies for silly bosses especially. SLARPG is a RPGM VX Ace game that doesn't exactly do anything CRAZY, as much as it does use its platform incredibly well. It is a SOLID RPG, it sets out to have a concise and simple battle system, with a lot of fun tools to play with. Even if I recognize all the scripts being used, how they get used always felt great. There were very few slipups in the way the game was put together when i played too, which as an RPGM dev, is always impressive to see. I think my only point of contention while playing was the random encounters getting a bit monotonous near the final stretch of the game, and the bosses being a bit too easy for my liking, but otherwise, mwah great rpg!!
one of the BIGGEST highlights, outside of the writing, is the amazing art, and i really mean it!! EVERY character has an amazingly cute character portrait, and every single sprite is so full of life! the backgrounds/tilesets tend to take the cake though, some of the best I've seen in a game like this personally. The dungeons are incredibly visually striking, and every single character design sticks in my head as memorable. MAJOR props to Javis and all his boys too. god bless those freaks.
and finally, i can talk about the writing in specific. it is... special. and i mean that in the best way i can. the story is pretty simple. Melody Amaranth and her girlfriend Allison Goleta join their friends guild to go on adventures, and are granted magic by their mage using a forbidden ritual. From there, hijinks ensue, involving a sociopathic VHS headed cipher-like individual, the worlds most jerkish butch, and a proclaimed Goddess of Magic coming for YOU!!! Despite all that though, the story to me felt focused much more on the relationship between the protagonists. Especially Melody and Allison.
I'm not sure how much I could go into specifics from memory alone, but it is... really good, what they do with the two main girls. Exploring the ways relationships blossom and mend. It's never all drama, nor is it all flowers. It's very real feeling. I connected to it a lot, in ways I never thought I could. Recently, I've been re-exploring my sexuality, what I want in romance, if I can even FEEL romance. This game helped a lot. It helped me be a lot more honest about my feelings, and let myself open up a lot more.
It wasn't just Melody and Allison either, there's multiple other great relationships in the games story. They're ALL adorable, and ALL amazingly written. We see a perfect mix of childhood love, new love, and trained love, each one shown with both strain, and triumph. As a girl who longingly read countless yuri manga and scoured plenty of garbage yuri anime as a kid desperately looking for something I could see myself in... and then this game comes along not only with that amazing representation, but two of the main characters are like VOCALLY transgender!! they don't play around SHTI!! This game is like a cup of cold, refreshing, root beer. god BLESS!!!!!
im about done rambling now though. if you got this far reading and still havent played slarp, WHATRE U WAITING FOR!!! GO KISS SOME GIRLS!!! GOD BLESS!!!!!!!
ADDENDUM: THE MUSIC FUCKS HARD AND CRAZY STYLE I ALMOST FORGOT EVEN AS THE TUNES PLAY IN MY HEAD!! THIS SHIT IS SOME REAL VGM CLASSICS OF ALL TIME
#bunny media bin#one of many to come#please play this game#sorry the next one of these will probably be about one piece netflix. i will be watching
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Woo, new ask game time, am excite!
1, 3, 5, 8, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 38, 39!
I am so sorry this took forever to answer! I had it all typed out and tumblr refreshed before I could add tags 😭
1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
I would say definitely cartoons, my art and friends (mutuals are included >:3)
3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
Luca (2021) (I watched this movie over 100 times in the first year, lost count at 30 times and it wasnt even the end of the month it released (it released on the 18th)), Barbie in Rock n' Royals and Lilo & Stitch 💥💥💥
5. what made you start your blog?
I made my original blog to read miraculous fanfiction (never posted on it til like june of 2021, even then i didnt post on it much). I abandoned that blog and made this one cause the embarrassment of it was too much.
8. any reacquiring dreams?
Every December I get a dream where a badly animated Santa's sleigh passes by. There's always people treating it like a ufo, using for clickbait and stuff. I always thought it was like a projection in the sky or something and I always wake up confused.
11. what do you consider to be romance?
Idfk man
12. what’s some good advice you want to share?
If someone isn't harming themselves or others, let them be. (if that counts for anything)
14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
Be silly, to express myself‼️💥💥
16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Stop thinking about what others think of me and also stop failing my classes
17. name 3 things that make you happy
Friends (this includes mutuals as well <3), talking about tffs (and sonic) and drawing :]
19. favourite thing about the day?
I am awake to talk with friends (just assume when I say friends, I'm including my moots)
20. favourite things about the night?
The moon and stars <3
22. say 3 things about someone you love
I love talking about sonic with/to them, when they talk about their interests, when they go on random tangents (<- went more vague because I love too many people to choose)
24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?
My art improvement: ]
25. fave season and why?
Autumn, I know it's basic, but I just really like it :]
26. fave colour and why?
I cannot escape the purple
28. do you collect anything?
Hm, do the tags of random things I buy count?
30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
When someone leaves a comment in the reblogs on my art
32. how many tabs do you have open right now?
248 if you mean on chrome, 3 if you mean apps open (yt music, discord (on call) and notes app (where im writing this))
33. any hobbies?
Drawing, watching cartoons and reading fanfiction
38. fave song at the moment?
The disco cover for I Am All Of Me
39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
Defunctland, I love having him on in the background when I do stuff
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intro post :3
hiii! im [insert name here]: a stereotypical AuDHD trans girl who still hasn't settled on a name yet-- my life isnt... going well rn, but tumblr makes it a bit more bearable and every little bit helps.
im a trans fem, more specifically i like the term demigirl- which feels like it fits me. im also ace(ish), by which i mean im ace but pretty sex favorable- just don't experience sexual attraction. im also very gay and have the best partner in the whole entire universe (they said they were gonna join tumblr soon- so ill at them here once she does.)
oh yeah and my brain is funky. im a peer reviewed (and officially dxed, but im an advocate of self diagnosis) AuDHDer- which informs basically everything i do. i also have a bunch of the mental illness stuff, and have struggled w it a lot. idrk or care what the exact diagnosis is, spend enough time around insane ppl and you learn a lot of the specific labels are pretty arbitrary and a lot of symptoms are shared- i just describe myself as fucked in the head or legitimately insane
also im never consistent w tags- sorry. maybe one day ill try to be but uh... yeah not today. i do tag for potentially triggering content tho- and try my best to be consistent w it, so if you're sensitive to the following and want to follow me for some weird reason id reccomend blocking them:
#cw sex mention, #cw: substance abuse, #cw: abuse #cw: child abuse, #cw: gore, #cw: sh, #cw: si, #cw: disordered eating, #cw: bigotry, #cw: disturbing content,
id also say in accordance w the previous thing i sometimes say things about my life that are "dark" in a way that can cross a line, i don't mean to do this- and i want to respect everyone's boundaries- but accidentally sharing super dark shit is smth i struggle w.
im a committed anarchist, and i will unabashedly post in accordance w those views. i haven't been able to help people as much as id like to bc of the whole being a minor in a fucked up situation with no money energy or time thing, but im trying to do more. If anyone reading this has suggestions- lmk.
i also like a lot of shit. like A LOT of shit- and i get REALLY obsessed w it too, so it is not out of character for me to start posting a bunch about smth i had not known existed until i got obsessed (as mentioned, AuDHDer). what ill post about is just kinda based on what im feeling that day and my interests, but heres some of my favorite things that im enamored w in no particular order:
games:
mtg
minecraft
hermitcraft (which yes is minecraft and no isnt a game but shut up)
hollow knight / skilkskong 🤡
celeste
metroid
nitw
botw
hades
books
cosmere
the locked tomb
percy jackson
the sandman
six of crows
the hunger games
lotr
spec fic, especially non-traditional spec-fic
shows/movies
spiderman across the spiderverse
made in abyss
hazbin hotel
hunter x hunter
the owl house
Pan's Labyrinth (& other Guillermo movies)
miyazaki movies
wes anderson movies
animated movies & shows
cinematic/classic movies (not neccessarily old just like the literary fiction genre of movies)
weird/offbeat movies and shows
music
coheed and cambria
mcr
jhariah
girl in red
will wood
pinkshift
jack off jill
paramore
mother mother
the cure
chloe moriando
bauhaus
cardiacs
dead kennedys
lena raine
siouxsie & the banshees
milk in the microwave
mitski
penelope scott
sungazer
45 grave
other interests/hobbies n shit
drawing
d&d
writing
painting
guitar
bass
drums
singing
music production
game design
coding
animation
character design
video production
poetry
theater (yes im a fucking theater kid did you even have to ask that)
musicals
even though im solidly gen z, i havent really grown up on the internet the same way. some weird combination of my parents' disapproval of it, social anxiety, autism, and not being allowed to use it for years means that ive had this fear of posting stuff on the internet. for so many people like me the internet has been a place to escape and be themself, to me it's more often than not just a reflection of a reality that seems just as scary and ostracizing.
the thing is... i dont have a lot of friends. i dont have a large community really. and i think though there are some ways in which my aversion to social interactions including those on the internet has been helpful, there are other ways it's really isolated me- both from my peers and a broader community of people.
so im trying to put myself out there a little more. this stupidly long intro post is i think just a way for me to commit to that for myself. ive been so scared of doing it all my life, right now i think i just need some sort of outlet to be myself. who knows? maybe i'll even meet some new friends.
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because i basically also use tumblr as a diary we're going to do some SMALL real life posting below the cut feel free to ignore it i'm just talking lol
I have a friend IRL who also writes fic, though she's relatively new to publishing, but I mentioned my Fandom Trumps Hate stuff to her because she has the background to get it and I was excited. When the winning bid changed, she asked how many words that was and I said "127k" and she was like, "that's more than I wrote last year." Which is fine and fair, she's an english teacher she has a job that requires thought and not just mindless stress
but in my head this was a "oh we're sharing how much we wrote last year situation," which looking back I think I misread In the future I'm going to take a "you still wrote something" approach, but I said I wrote like 250k last year, because I did the math and i did. but her first, IM CERTAIN instictive reaction was the this look and i don't know how to describe it but it was WILD and not envy but gave the impression of "i wish you hadn't said that" and maybe a tinge of "im not sure how i feel about that" and in my head I was like
hey like i get that i dropped out of college and you were an english major but a few years after I dropped out I was working at a diner and spent a whole year basically training myself like a dog to write whenever
and now im breaking my process down into pieces so small that no matter how fogged my brain is I can work and like
i worked really hard to be able to write this much you cannot just expect that from yourself without work?? like i found the methods that are effective for me because I took the time to try out DOZENS OF METHODS and I failed at a lot of them but now ive got one and its why after a decade of not finishing long things all i can do is finish things
but i can't say that to a person so we just moved on but like
writing isnt a calling its an active choice you make??? for some people its a hobby and that's fine but my intent is to move into traditional publishing, so i treat fan fiction like a job because at some point i INTEND FOR WRITING TO BE MY JOB so i have to take it seriously now so i dont burn out?? so i don't get advances and then find myself incapable of meeting deadlines?? like
anyway this was my warm up in a weird way but thats a small bit of real life posting behind every authors word count is the time they practiced to get to it i wrote like 100,000 shitty words last year that never saw the light of day and 250,000 that did and that's just how writing is??
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One nice little thing/compliment about your moots?
I wasn't sure if you wanted me to say a collective compliment or make it individual 😅, but I'll compliment my moots individually, hehe (sorry if these little blurbs don't make sense or there are terrible grammatical errors 😅)
@im-a-loser-fight-me - even tho you don't rlly use tumblr that much, i still love you very much and wish you all the best!! i love that we can talk for literal hours and never get bored! like I'm so lucky to have you in my life ily bestie <3
@da1ryqveen - another person i'm so lucky to have in my life! you are such an inspo to me!! like i always look forward to our interactions! it's gonna be hard when you go abroad! having you to talk to is so amazing like, ugh ily
@imjustasimpxd - you're such a sweetie!! like you were one of my first moots that I made that I didn't already know irl!! i love every single one of our interactions <3
@little-miss-chaoss - twinnie!! i love that we're lowkey twins!! also, your sweetness always brightens my day, and the fact that you love and support fanfic authors makes you godtier
@stygianoir - another one of my first moots that I made <3 I have sm love and respect for you like you're another person who loves and supports writers, and that is just 🫡 without you, many of us would quit
@b-achiras - i have admired you and your writing for literal YEARS like i was there for your og writing blog, and your writing is always 100/100 like you are a HUGE inspiration for me, so when we became moots, i died on the spot from happiness
@bbiemilk - you are literally one the cutest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing!! and your writing is always so hot and good like omg and you are a fellow keigo lover <33 also your themes are always so pretty and cute!
@dark-mnjiro - whenever I see you in my notifs I get really excited!! you are literally so sweet to me and it makes me 🥹 like I feel so loved and happy like idk just makes me so excited!! also you always such cool themes
@alucrds - i love love talking with you!! just sharing our for certain characters or when i gush about your amazing themes. like seeing you on my dash makes me all happy and giggly
@touyyes - i love obsessing over Leon with you!! i love when we talk about video games together <3 like i never thought i'd meet someone who likes this stuff but I'm it's you and that we found each other <3
@rczc - you are literally so sweet!! like talking about txt together like i love!! so glad i found someone who likes kpop!! and when you pop into my ask box to chat, i always get excited like you're so easy to talk to and funny <3
@azxremoon - you are so kind and always have such sweet words to give! i can't wait for you to become a fanfic writer!! you're gonna be such a good writer, and everything you write is gonna be 10/10!!
@shcyc - cutie shoyo lover!! you're another writer that inspires me sm!! like all of your writing is sooo good and i love being able to read!! like actually ty for blessing the world with your writing
@haithanist - well, firstly you're theme and pinned are very very sexy! it's also nice that you're somebody who loves alhaitham!! like your alhaitham fics are soooooo good!! jealous alhaitham is amazing and so hot
@kentoangel - your thirsts are either very sweet or very hot, and i love it, and i am so here for it! like the scenarios you come up with are genius like gimme your smarts 😤 you're literally so cool!!
@festive - multitalented royalty!! like omg everything you post is sooooooooo good and you can draw too!! you honestly can take over the world with your talents!! i love your banner and pfp sooo much!!
@thetempleofnyx - you always post so many good fanart pics!! like where do you find such beautiful and hot content?? but your writing? OMG, ITS SOOOO GOOD like your genshin content is amazing 🫠 (i love your ayato and albedo fics)
@lumi-does-some-stuff - you're so kind and sweet!! like your fluffy content is soooo cute!! i love the purple color scheme of your blog too!! it's absolutely adorable!!
@haitaniapologist - your theme and blog look are soooooo pretty, like the blues and whites ugh, gorgeous!! you're also super duper nice and i love your tokyo revengers fics!!
@keigosmelody - you're someone i've admired as a fic writer for quite a while!! so, when you became my moot, i died on the spot!! you are so kind and talented!! i love our interactions!!
@littleoanh - you are literally so kind and sweet!! like, we've only had a few interactions, but every time we chat, i get so happy and excited because you're actually so amazing like i feel like i can go to you for anything!
@oomiya - you're so sweet!! we've talked a few times but every time you've made me feel heard and happy!! you're super talented and i can't wait to get to know you more!
@mrskodzuken - you're moodboards are soooooo good like oml!! I wish i was as talented as you!! you're someone who i have admired a lot <33 like i see your writing and i get so excited and want to be able to write like you (because you're so good and talented!)
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When you're not staying up past your bedtime tell us your thoughts about checking up on people via social media!
Thank you for indulging me this long weekend why would you do this
Warning I'm gonna be pathetic because i am still grieving a nine year relationship and grieving, especially in this context, feels so UNDIGNIFIED. Also its my grieving thoughts about the socials thing not like well srticulated thoughts about the socials with some grieving mixed in. I just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out.
1. Like, ultimately don't. Its not helpful at all i think. Unless if literally is just idle curiosity about what happened to someone in your class from ten years ago and you actually dont care what you find.
2. I am experiencing the urge to check up on my ex CONSTANTLY. (They do not really use social media this doesnt amount to much btw). I understand why people be lurking on someones insta or whatever to see what theyve been up to. Sometimes you hope theyre failing and miserable because they did you wrong and you want to feel validated. In my particular case i am worried, and i miss them. There are no posts for me to see or wonder about so this is useless but i think i also want to see that my ex is sad (because i was important to him for such a long time) but also, not like, too sad. And I'm fantasising about him sort of DOing something about it. I want to see what he's up to. Is is dancing? Is he injured? Is he Making? Is he finding small joys in life like hanging out with friends or seeing a cute creature on a walk? Seeing posts about these things would not help me! Because i would likely assume he was not sad, then i would feel angry and bitter and disappointed in myself for wasting my time. We dont share when we are sad (or why) on socials. I am NEVER going to see a post that effectively says "my smart and beautiful and extraordinary girlfriend of 9 years left me, and I am sad i couldn't be what she needed. I miss her a lot and wish i could have showed her this garden i saw today, she would have loved it. I will never forget her and dont know how to be okay with this". No one is going to see that. But ultimately i think we check up on people because what we want to see is some variation of that, so we can feel validated and know that they UNDERSTAND how were feeling.
Because this is tumblr I have made stupid posts a bit like this! I miss him all the time, i made a facebook post about a doco that I watched in the hopes that he would see it and watch it, because i think he'd like all the adorable english woodland creatures. This is also stupid! As are posts showing how well youre doing in hopes ypur ex seems them and feels stupid. Devoting this much energy to a game in your head where you will never get an outcome that satisfies you cannot help you move on or heal. But i do think its weird that we look for any possible thread that tied us to people we are without, even the terrible online ones that can never retie us! We talk to gravestones like the dead can hear us. I am currently checking my mailbox every day for a letter that might not ever arrive, and even if it does it sure and shit wont contain any information that helps me live my new single life where no one thinks I'm special, and there's no one I'm 100% comfortable to be all of myself around and who I dont get tired of being with.
I will never know if he saw the fb post, let alone watched and had opinions on the doco I talked about. Knowing wont help. He knew i have a tumblr but i dont think he'd go through it as its a huge pile of memes and stuff he wouldnt understand to look for 3 things that say im sad. And again, knowing I'm sad won't help.
Normally im very good at being like "well this is unproductive/not the best course of action" and then, you know, STOPPING but unfortunately I will continue to wonder how he is and what hes up to and cling to actually unreasonable, unfounded fantasies of what happens IF he sees.
Anyway this is a long vent that basically says i think i get why people do it now but ultimately it will never bring the carthsis we hope for (:
He knew i had a tumblr but I dont think he's checking up on me coz. Whats the point. Its a lot of stupid memes for 3 im sad posts. Which accomplish nothing as discussed.
#its been...just under 3 months since the break up?#and I am still so so caught up in the fact thst the last weekend we spent together before he flew home was nice#he felt the pressure was off so he could just do what he wanted#which was talk more and answer questions and be more affectionate#which is all i ever wanted in the first place!!#and after all that time together he was still more scared of moving in any direction and it being wrong#than he trusted that i would treat him with kindness and respect and understanding no matter what he did#i dont think it'll ever not hurt that when booking plane tickets (a few months before) he couldnt decide between#spending an extra day with me and a ten dollar cheaper fare#not because he didnt like me but because he was frozen by the possibility of there being a wrong choice#and like there is if the reasoning isnt 'i have to be back for a significant event' and is IS 'i dont actually want to spend time with you'#then hiding that through indecision does no one any favours#unfortunately my biggest regret now is that i was uglu crying at the airport when we kissed goodbye for the last time#its very vain but i worry he will remember me like that#i could barely stand i was so upset!!! and i am concerned about my looks and keeping a man :'(#highly pathetic you were warned#anyway i miss him and i am afraid he is alone and sad and i cannot help
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re: jkr and bigotry, not really about class but. i remember when the whole 2020 wave of anti jkr happened and i was torn somewhere in-between bc i didn't know what was happening. and then i watched contrapoints video about jkr and it was so eye opening i think it kind of changed the course of my life lmao. the bigotry that's seemingly unaware of itself - taking advantage of the more compassionate. wild. thank you for that meta post it was sooo great i will be thinking about it for days now.
ahh ty for sharing this!!! writing about this stuff is so hard and i used to feel like i was the only one who felt this way and maybe making it up in my head, so all the comments and responses have been so validating 😌
bigotry that's unaware of itself sums her up perfectly. i never watched the contrapoints vid (i've pinned it for later) and honestly i can't even remember how i found out about this, bc i guess it wasn't really finding out? i just became more and more aware of it through queer and/or jewish communities (bc of how antisemitic she is as well)
i started re-reading the books bc i went to hp world and got super nostalgic, and obvs i came in with 30 years of learning and growing, as well as everything i understood about her by then, and was v aware of the more obvious problematic tropes in her books. but it wasn't until i got involved in wolfstar that i was able to unpack the subtler things that are woven into her writing
i remember reading some great meta right when i joined wolfstar tumblr about her reaction to wolfstar and the fandom after the books became popular, and that sort of alerted me to how deliberately she clapped back against her fans when her characters ran away with her. then the more fic i read the more i saw how bipolar sirius was presented as, and how much class was woven into his story and wolfstar and MWPP generally. and i've just been mulling it over for months and months slowly putting it into words bc it is SUCH a real experience for me and kids i grew up with. i've seen dumbledores and mollys and had the same insults and "expressions of concern" thrown at me, and it literally haunts you for your entire life. and its bc of the same subtle bigotry woven passive aggressively into social dynamics that jkr follows, which gets fucking reemphasised every time we see read/see stories like this
and as it still happens today and me and people like me still face this shit and basically no one understands its happening (in fiction or irl) unless we carefully explain it, im gonna keep doing that. and im v grateful for everyone who's been so receptive, and v happy (in a bittersweet way) that so many bipolar people i've seen in the comments got their experiences validated too
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hey guys im BACK baby and i have some words
here are links so you can still find everything, but be wary that these links are probably gonna break any minute when i start moving everything around. lets hope i can remember to fix them and that i dont take a year to get to doing that:
ARCHIVE MY ART OTHER ORGANIZATION TAGS
IM STILL ALIVE. i like to think that i never rlly left, but I havent posted in a damn while and part of that is because life stuff caught up with me and moreso because uhhhhhh Well im not quite satisfied with the way my blogs formatted right now, it makes posting and organizing and navigating harder than it has to be and it makes it Not Fun to post things.
SO. what we're gonna do is revamp things a lil bit. we're fucking doing this we are Making It Happen. what this'll do is itll make it easier for me to post things without having to remember every silly tag and rule i have set up here, and ill also just have a bit more of a laid-back and fun kinda art blog. i tried to do an elaborate tagging system, but MAN i am too forgetful for that.
so im just gonna keep it simple. character, fandom, content warnings, and maybe some other flavourtags. the sorts of things thatll make it easier for me to just pop up a quick drawing on even a busy day without having to go through a silly step by step process on how to tag things. because i love sharing my art and posting :)) but not so much when it is difficult </3
but hell who knows how thisll go after i reboot my bloggo. i think she was due for some maintenance for a long while. *pats the sidebar like you would soothe an agitated horse* there there girl, its gonna be alright. maybe ill even start making... casual posts? text posts? things like that??? damn Maybe.
im also gonna private some organization posts until i can properly wrangle then and sort out their kinks and oddities, and im gonna disable my blog theme for a bit. when i get a braincell on how to do an html and a css properly, THEN i can have a pretty theme. in the meantime, ill probably just set myself up with one of the tumblr defaults.
anyways. *ahem* for anyone who doesnt know me and this is their first stumble upon my blog while i move things around. feel free to click the read more if you want to subject yourself to the silliest introduction i could make for myself possible.
hi. i like to draw but lately my art skills have been a bit shakey, i think im out of practice so im probably gonna start out doing some studies. my styles and designs for characters are always changing, but lately ive been trying to cement some designs that are in my brain Onto Paper.
im goblinrockcandy but you can call me GRC if that's a mouthful (thats what i call me because i do not have time for 5 syllables). im a Knight of Heart and sometimes that gets shortened to KoH and so sometimes people call me koh. now KOH is also the chemical formula for potassium hydroxide, but no one calls me that (a real shame, it flows right off the tongue and i think its a lovely set of sounds), but potassium hydroxide also goes by another name and that is lye. so sometimes people call me lye. i don't have a name so if you want to refer to me you have to get creative or pick up my blog by the scruff of its handle like a really ugly cat and point at it and say "this motherfucker right here".
same goes for pronouns. my pronouns are none/applicable. you gotta BE CREATIVE if you want to refer to me... pronouns are a crutch. they were your training wheels and now im the final boss. you have to fight me with your other words, this is what you have been training for.......
im trans queer person of colour, painfully unfunny and addicted to bad jokes, and i love homestuck. my faves switch up every once in a blood moon but right now i really fuckin love jake english. you might have discerned that by the very subtle hints of I talk about Him all the time & dirt striber avatar.
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Oh ew the OF accounts and sex bots are completely getting out of hand. I haven’t been notified of any new followers but I don’t trust tumblr to do so. I’m have to gonna check on that soon 🙄🙄.
And seriously for what reason are people flagging down your works for like 😭😭?? It literally makes no sense??? Some people are so rude and mean and spiteful for no reason like. Do better or screw off unintentionally quoting Ego here I’m sorry that this happened to you, it really sucks.
Ever since break started I’ve been in a kind of limbo. It feels so surreal not having any work to do. I mean I do have basic chores to do today like the laundry and vacuuming and stuff but besides that it’s a free day. I am. Very very very. Temped to start reading the blue lock manga. I know I said I’d wait for the anime to finish but like I need something to do 😭😭. I was starting my first TR reread since the last chapter but I only got in 3 chapters before I started sobbing and I haven’t even gotten to Akkuns first death or met Mikey and Draken for the first time again yet. I’m gonna have to chunk my way through it while sobbing and taking so many breaks because I will seriously never recover from this manga. OH AND I LOVE CHIFUYUS BIRTHDAY ART. Wakui continuing to attest that yes takefuyu are still canon in the reset timeline. It’s such a relief for me because those two are my comfort duo 😭😭😭. I also want to finish Chainsaw Man soon. I stopped at around volume 9 because I’m broke and was reading it at the bookstore and all I can say is that this series is definitely getting a reread cause I love analyzing strange works and concepts. THE MAITAKE COVER ASJKGFJKHFFGGG. The way I screeched when I first saw it like. I love how you worded it, they literally look like royalty together UGH. Suffice to say that yes maitake fans has a field day with the cover of volume 31 😌😌. I cant wait for the inside cover to be revealed. My prediction/demand is that it’s gonna be then as children childhood-friends-to-lovers. But I guess we’ll see.
Anyways. How are you Belle? Doing better I hope? How’s uni? Oh and when does your winter break start? How’s life? Im so happy tumblr is being cooperative now and letting you see my tagged posts 😭😭. Sorry for the constant tagging tho, there’s just so much I wanna share and I see something and I’m like “oh I wanna show this to Belle” you know? Oh and im so glad you liked that Oliver drabble 🥹🥹. I’ve got another one in mind for him but this time it might be a little more ✨spicy✨ so stay tuned 👀👀😌. I hope you have a great day and that the caramel frappuccino tasted great!!! *sending many virtual hugs*
- ✨ anon
Istg- i got followed by accounts from Czechia and Carolina this morning. Alright, I made my pinned post of Gojo's OF account but this is a writing blog; not even an OF promotion blog (╥﹏╥) unless... i draw some stuff
Tumblr decided to not let me post my rant- so here’s what I had to say
I revisited my childhood with watching DBZ... (i knew i said i would start one piece but the gym bro-ness got the better of me and i started watching it) someone please explain why does Goku's voice sound... i don't know how to describe it.
i was so shocked about his voice, i was planning on watching the dub instead cause of it *crying*
Honestly, Wakui did a really good job with the cover. Even when I was reading mangas online - I was so awed by the covers of the manga and when TR was on its peak here, i saw a lot of spoilers for bonten mikey. I never liked mikey... but this made me change my mind. And they (like every cover character i saw up until the Brahman arc looked like royalty. Even hanma-)
I'm doing well! Contemplating to change the blog theme for some reason. It's not gonna be aiku ofc- he gets 0 screen time cause he hasn't come back from italy and i am mad at him with part 1 to ocean hues
I'm on my winter break actually and omw back home. Fifa knocked the wind out of me. I feel sad cause Mbappé played really well (and he was sad too when they lost), i literally went to go keep my plate and he scored in 97 seconds of the first goal T.T . But i'm also really happy for Argentina cause its the first time in 36 years since Maradona that they have won the Wc and i cried cause they were crying on the field not to mention the fact that Messi played in their team as well - so it was bittersweet ending but also very well deserved!
And yes i am a football head
I can't see you in my activity still (maybe your visibility switch is off? i'm not sure) but i do get the number on my activity and that's how ik that you're there (⑅ •͈ᴗ•͈ )
I actually don't mind being tagged! and I enjoy the things you have to show me as well ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა (i saw some stuff where you tagged me- i'll be answering those soon, promise i'm not ignoring you ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)ა )
I. absolutely. loved. the Oliver drabble ˃̵ᴗ˂̵. I still read it btw, cause it is absolutely precious. the deer headrest and the fact he wants to be a good boy made me go (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)
did you say spicy 💀 *here lies Isabelle Aiku; beloved wife of Oliver Aiku who is unaware that he is married to her- * Starry you're gonna make me combust from the heat
*sending back bear hugs*
*my man is so handsome (>﹏<) and yours is too*
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bored dnd ramblings
im bored and i have a dnd character i really wanna play, but i dont have a group or a game to play in. i really just wanna ramble about her so im gonna let it into the tumblr void
her name is valentina, and was born to the headmistress/noble who runs a school for martial combat/fighting/maybe a military school. her family line goes back centuries as formidable and cunning warriors, though they harbor a secret only shared by the family. a lycanthropic curse is passed down from generation to generation, that each have tried to enhance and tame more and more. she began training at an early age, and she was quite good at it (though this quickly went to her head and began skipping classes and training). she was never really close with the other students at the academy (she didnt need them anyway, of course [/s]). when she was around 13, she transitioned to be a girl, which caused a rift in her family. often, behind closed doors her mother and father would get into fights over whether they should accept this. one day, her father was gone, and her mother refused to answer. but, she was far more happy as a girl than she ever was as a boy. at the academy, she often challenged others to duels, in attempt to gain a little coin, and show off her martial skills (not that she wanted people to like her or befriend her or anything, she just wanted them to admire or fear her, thats all [/s]). in private, her mother taught her to unleash her lycanthropy and to use it, though every time she did, valentine found it frightening and overwhelming (which she refused to admit). she hated the loss of control that came with it, though she persisted to try and please her mother, who always seemed to see something wrong with what she was doing. when she was in her early 20s, some issues with blackmail arose, threatening to announce the family’s secret to the world. so, her mother sent her out to find and stop whoever was threatening their family.
personality wise, valentina is very chatty and VERY confident. she often overestimates her own abilities, which can sometimes make her look a little foolish (though she *did* threaten to kill you when you saw), she can often be very backhanded with her compliments and isnt super socially aware. my goal with her is for her to better herself, becoming a nicer, more humble, and less critical of those around her (something that came from her upbringing and training). her personality being like this happened over time, when she was younger she was much quieter and introverted. she became more like how she is now through mimicking other people in her life, not liking herself or her passions (she has a secret love for poetry and writing that she hid since from when she was very young her path was set out for her). though she hates to admit it, she cares for other people. a lot. it takes her a while to get attatched to people (and she pulls the “its not like i like you or anything”), but once she does, the bond is very strong. she would defend her friends until the end. she is very obsessed with her appearance, wanting to look perfectly done up all the time, both because that makes her feel happy and confident, but also to hide her insecurities. her long term goal is to find a way to physically transition through magic or other means.
i wanna flesh her backstory out more, like maybe adding some people friends or people that she pissed off at the academy (or maybe stuff with her sneaking out and fighting in underground rings or something), and i wanna flesh out what the blackmail is.
i havent written it like this, but ive imagined her in wildemount, with the academy being the aurora watch training facility, and her being a drow (and that would work well with finding a way to transition because of widowgast’s transmogrification sorry sam, nott’s shot).
i havent decided on race/class yet, but i was initially thinking shifter glory paladin (with the glory part coming from her arrogance/overconfidence, and giving her time to be able to change her oath), but i was also thinking battlemaster. tho with the idea of doing wildemount, playing a drow beast barbarian or lycan bloodhunter could be really fun.....
sorry that was long, i just wanted to ramble about val because i love her so much
#dnd oc#dnd 5e#dnd character#lycanthrope#shifter dnd#wildemount#aurora watch#character ideas#trans dnd#shes a brat but i love her sm#werewolf#werewolf oc
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hi, it’s seungmin fic anon (not so anon anymore)! i created a blog because i felt really encouraged reading your response to my ask. funny thing, i kinda messed up and made a secondary blog instead of changing my main blog, and i panicked and decided to copy everything over because secondary blogs can’t interact with others thru asks or whatever...i wish tumblr was more transparent on that ig lol. or maybe that’s just me.
anyway, thank you so much for saying all that you did because i felt pretty motivated. i haven’t done something like this in a long time, as in try my genuine best at something since life has not been so great for me in the past few years. :,) i’m happy to hear that you don’t receive hate! i’ve been scared of it since i guess imo it’s easily sent when it’s under the guise of tumblr’s anon feature. but i’ve gotten the courage to make a blog and try writing stuff to share thanks to your kind words, and i hope i can make good writings for the time i’m on tumblr. creating it was a lot of fun with the aesthetics and all (i took some inspiration from your blog and credited you for it), and it helped take my mind off some things i couldn’t stop thinking about for a while and all.
i have forgotten how fun it is to do this kind of stuff. i have to emphasize on that because personal life has been hard and i’ve forgotten how to have fun these days other than read fics like yours and dabble in music. so i’d like to thank you for believing in me and giving me the courage to at least try my shot. i mean, it was so much fun i created this blog in a day (as in the links and aesthetics, which is crazy to me).
i hope also with this blog, i’ll start being less...perfectionist about writing, and also stop applying that kind of mindset to a lot of things in life. it can be good but it’s been unhealthy for me for a while since sometimes i do something that’s not worth it to me personally to perfection, and then i work myself to the bone for it. i understand with just staying away from writing for a long time because i have so many unfinished stories in the back burner for months and years on end, all just because they’re not absolutely perfect.
i’ve never thought about comfort zones in writing that way, but it really is true. the only thing is i don’t want to run out of ideas or inspiration, and i don’t want to retell the same story or use the same format a lot. it’s not bad but i want to try to be more creative sometimes. maybe with a blog, i’ll be able to grow as a writer with new ideas from my readers.
thank you so much for the support over my last two asks. you have no idea how much that meant to me. i hope we get to interact more in the future :)) i’m posting my first drabble soon after this ask so i hope you’ll enjoy it when you see it! i got motivated for some reason and wrote it all from scratch today. i also hope my messages (no longer anons haha) cheer you up as well as they did for me 💖💖
i’m so so proud of you for starting a blog! :) i guess you aren’t exactly seungmin fic anon are you. im omw to go like every piece of content u create!
i wish you so much luck on your new blog and hopefully this will send my followers to also support you and your works. i read your first piece and it’s so beautiful! you’re a lovely writer just like i predicted <3
i’ll always look forward to your content and try to support you as much as i can, my fellow writer friend :)
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