#im just gonna go to sleep and if its not gone in the morning ill call my psychiatrist
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#focus who? i dont kno her#its so bad. i csnt focus at all. and ive got way too much to do. take me back to last week where i spent hours reading papers#annoying. also possibly lack of sleep cstching up with me#do u ever get very little sleep and not miss it at all? yea bitch all the time. then i get depressed and its sleepy time#and by sleepy time i mean i get like 8hrs of sleep lol#maybe ill just do nothing and completely fuck over my sunday lol#maybe i should go run up thr mountain rn before im stuck in a car for 2 hrs#bc im getting spikes of being insane. unfortunately i have no emotional object permanence so when i feel crazy its like#ive always felt like this ans its terrible forever. and then immediately afterward im like lol wot? nah im fine. ive always been fine#shout out to mood swings ✌️ like bro im trying to get materials together so i can teach a class. can u shut the fuck up? and focus?#well see how i do today with a ton of socializing. itll b fine. im normal i can b normal#or i can b endearing quirky. or whatever i usually i am. i dont think i have conversations like a normal person but i cant tell bc im not#there for conversations im not in. whatever everyone else has conversations in a way thats boring. i just wanna grill ppl til i understand#how they work. and then feel like im gonna die if im in a group conversation 🙃 let me study thr ppl around me#bc im very normal. god. i promise irl im not that weird. ppl think im nice and cool and successful#ok maybe not cool. but i think i can get away with being interesting. i got at least a lil charisma. im only a bit horribly awkward ;-]#but i try to own it. wtf was i saying. jesus. i cant with my brain rn. i shoulf have gone for a run this morning#being social just makes me anxious so im babbling i guess. but itll b fun. and itll b pretty im sure#maybe ill try to draw my ocs while im not paying attention. ive neglected them for so long 😭#unrelated
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SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down#my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches 😭#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning#still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode#roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave#my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me#but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else#but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth#just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here#and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing 😭#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too#like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that#and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better#but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks#its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt#so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place#like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying#ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see#got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner#and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz#ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries
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i love when it's 12:30am and my neck itches and at first im like ugh dry skin and then i remember im on the Drug That Causes A Rash That Kills You and now im terrified
#its just itchiness and i think some pinkness but that might be from scratching/rubbing lotion in#so i dont think it counts as a rash? bc its not red or raised#and also ive been noticing this on and off for the past few days#plus i do consistently have dry skin problems and a genetic predisposition for psoriasis#but also i probably need to tell my psychiatrist about this anyway and then shell take me off my meds#and then i have to start over with smth new but ig that is much less bad than my skin falling off#idk im scared and the only thing i could possibly do rn is go to the er bc thats all thats open#and that really doesnt seem worth the time and cost for smth thats probably not severe#idk im just. scared as fuck rn im supposed to leave town tomorrow and i cant develop a skin disease rn#and i cant stop my mood stabilizers right before an incredibly stressful trip#im just gonna go to sleep and if its not gone in the morning ill call my psychiatrist#although shes not really reachable most days so idk if ill even be able to speak to her#ugh i hate this why can't anything just be easy and work out in my favor
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Come over
Summary: I'm setting off. But not without my muse
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x fem reader
Note: IM sorry guys this one is actually so long so I cut it in half so the next part Ill post tomorrow & its gonna kill you
It's been three days since you've last seen Quinn. 72 hours since the two of you shared a kiss. 259,200 seconds of you replaying that moment in your head, over and over again.
Quinn had already left for his away game, and not seeing him in person again after he single handedly took your breath away was driving you crazy.
You sit on your couch, having yet another lazy day after opting out of going into your office today. Your mind is too much in a daze to deal with annoying coworkers who are a little too interested in your friendship with the famous hockey player. With your computer in your lap, you try and focus on an email from your boss that has gone unread for the last four days, and as soon as you start reading the first line, your phone starts to ring.
Quinns name flashes on the screen and you don't hesitate to toss your computer to the side and answer your FaceTime call. He flashes a smile as soon as the call connects. It's dim where he is, and you soon realize that he's on the bus. His under eyes are dark, and his beard is a little more scruffy than usual, but that doesn't stop you from thinking he's still the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on .
"Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep?" You ask Quinn, raising your eyebrow at him. It's a mom kind of question, one that you know Ellen would ask if she had seen him awake this late at night after he had played, and won a game.
"Couldn’t sleep," He tells you, and you know it's a lie. His poker face never worked on you. You roll your eyes at him letting him continue. "I actually wanted to ask you something."
Your heart does a backflip, which seems like the only thing it's been doing lately.
"Go for it." You tell him.
Before Quinn responds, you watch as he pulls his headphones off and look off in the distance. He's talking to someone on the other side of the phone, so you take another moment to admire him. The way he listens intently to whoever it is he's talking to you, how his eyes don't look away until he's finished talking.
He makes it easy for you to remember all the reasons you fell in love with him.
"What are you doing right now?" He asks once his attention is back on you. You let out a laugh, pulling your phone closer to your face. "I'm waiting for that question you wanted to ask me." You say in a 'duh' tone.
Quinn laughs, following your own actions and pulling his phone closer to his face. You can't help but stare at his lips, reminiscing how they felt against your own.
"Oh yeah, I'm flying you out to Jersey. To watch me and my brothers play. Well," He pauses, "Just Luke actually, Jack's out with an injury, but mom and Luke would love for you to be there."
"That wasn't a question, Quinn. And what about Jim?" You tease, and Quinn smiles again. "Jim is Jim. So, you'll be there?"
You shrug your shoulders, looking over at your computer that still has the email from your boss on the screen.
"I already bought the flight and the hotel, and it's" Another pause, "10:45 right now. Your flight is tomorrow at 9 in the morning, and you'll get to Jersey some time in the evening. I have a driver picking you up." A final pause, Quinn catches his breath. "It's all taken care of." He says softly.
It's times like this, where you remember Quinn has money. Where he's willing to spend a lot of money for you to be anywhere with him, but with the sweet gesture comes curiosity and you can't help but wonder if he's done things like this for her.
A part of you wants to tell him no. You have your own life in Vancouver. Your job, half-assed plans that you'd already made with your friends, you can't always drop everything for Quinn. But he knows you better than he knows hockey. He knows you'll be there.
"I guess I should start packing then, yeah?" His smile grows wider, "Will you text me when you're boarding?" He asks, and you nod your head 'yes'
The both of you stare at each other through your screens. Silently admiring each other. Secretly acknowledging how easy it is for you two to be together.
Once you hang up, you immediately run to your closet. Most of the items hanging up are Quinns. Hoodies, t-shirts, old jersey and even a couple of suits that he's left after late nights and early mornings. "What's mine is his" You think to yourself. You start throwing in a mix of yours and his clothes.
New Jersey is a cold state, something you'd learned the hard way after a failed trip a few years ago. You'd insisted that you didn't need to bring a winter coat on your trip because you already live in a cold climate, you were used to the cold. Quinn reminded you how you were always cold, and that you'd definitely needed to bring your coat, but like a stubborn child, you'd ignored him. "I'll be fine," You had told him, and instead of arguing, he let you figure it out on your own.
You stare at the winter coat hanging up. The winter coat Quinn had ended up buying you because he had gotten tired of you stealing his.
And it's almost like he's listening to your thoughts, sharing your memory even though he's thousands of miles away, because once your phone dings and you look down at your home screen, you see Quinn has reminded you to make sure to bring your winter coat.
#hockey boys#quinn hughes#hughes brothers#hockey blurb#nhl fic#quinn hughes blurb#quinn hughes imagine#luke hughes#jack hughes#nhl
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I get the worst cramps, and I think if Y/n got horrible cramps too, Flightless!Tan would be the BEST at taking care of her
not me on my period right now and having cramps as well :((( this will be totally self-indulgent btw
so reader knows when she gonna get her period in a number of ways. one, when she starts breaking out. and she is totally freaking out because she is getting that anxious feeling in her stomach from when her parents would notice this break out and comment on it not very nicely. shes afraid that tangerine will see the red spots and pimples on her face and not think of her as his "pretty girl" anymore :((( and because of this, she starts hiding away from him and trying to stay away from him until it starts to go away. so that means longer showers, sleeping in and staying in bed longer, resisting sitting in his lap and receiving cheek kisses. which does not end up going well because shes soon missing his touch.
second, when her boobs start getting sore and achy :((( she just lounges around the house in pain and all pouty, knowing whats coming in a day or two.
three, when she starts craving a bunch of food and eating whatever. and she always feels like crap after.
at first, tangerine just thinks shes gone a little back into her shell and his simply trying to distance herself because she feels like it. but one morning when he tries getting her out of bed after letting her sleep in for a little too long, he gently tries pulling the blanket of her body but stop when she starts whining and eyes start filling with tears.
"cmon, we dont wanna waste the day again, do we?" tangerine tries pulling at the blanket again but fully stops and drops his hands when she starts crying and tugging at the comforter like its her lifeline. at this, tangerine sits on her bed with a concerned look on his face.
"you have to tell me whats wrong. v' let you sleep in for more than two hours now. are you feeling sick?" tangerine tilts his head to the side to get a better look at her, gently wiping away her tears. he feels relieved when you shake your head.
"then what is it? just tell me and ill do everything i can to fix it."
at his words and calm, low voice. she leans herself into him, hiding her face in his neck to spare her the embarrassment she feels. she closes her eyes when she feels his arms wrap around her, itd been a few days since she felt it.
"got m'period." she whispers so quietly it takes tangerine a second to figure out what she says, it doesn't help that her face is shoved into the crook of his neck.
"well thats okay." he says, but is actually panicking because he hasnt gotten any feminine products for her. he mentally kicks himself for not thinking of this.
"got your sheets all dirty and gross."
"well we do have this thing called a washer and dryer, my love. it kind of cleans what needs to be cleaned," tangerine teases while rubbing comforting circles on her back, "your sheets will be just fine."
after a while, he is finally able to pull you out of bed.
"now, you go do your little morning routine, and im gonna head to the store and get you some stuff, got it?" you nod your head as he walks you to the bathroom, knowing that the first thing you like to do when you get out of bed is brush your teeth.
"okay, now is there a specific brand you prefer?"
you tell him quietly, feeling awkward because you had never had to tell someone this before. but a part of you is relieved that tangerine is not disgusted with you, but instead determined to get through this with you.
"alright, anything else you would like?"
"id like some chocolate, if its okay with you." you stare down at your feet, finding your painted toes very interesting all of a sudden.
"that more than okay with me, what else?"
tangerine writes down all the others stuff you want, and with that, he is out the door and in his car. ready to take away your pain and discomfort.
#tangerine x reader#tangerine#tangerine imagine#tangerine fanfiction#bullet train#bullet train imagine#aaron taylor johnson x fem!reader#aaron taylor johnson x reader#tangerine blurb#flightless bird thoughts<3#aaron taylor johnson
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ITS BEEN A WHILE but here's things me and my friends have said as pjo character pt 4/5???
Annabeth: That's not very feminism of you (@wraith--2)
Hestia: maybe build like a life size bread bloke (@carpcranium)
Leo: Feels like my toes are bleeding but it's just cause they're defrosting (@wraith--2)
Percy to annabeth: Nooo pookie don't leave ill get her a spider abortion (friend not on tumblr)
Annabeth: I thought I'd die before seeing common sense in this gc (friend not on tumblr)
Jason: It's not boring to want money and to not be even more mentally ill (@indecisivenb)
Leo: Sure bud (me)
Piper: Jesus was not straight (@wraith--2)
Some random camper in the dining pavillion: Hes staring into my soup (@wraith--2)
Leo: Everyone needs a piece of Leo (friend not on gc)
Leo: Me dehydrated: must not drink sex juice (@wraith--2)
Jason: Me and Percy cockfight like 3 times (@chefchennan)
Piper: Harry x hermione
Ron x jesus or smth
Luna x whoever tf she ended with? (Friend not on tumblr)
Mr D to someone being given a quest: You don't have a choice
They don't have a choice
It's equality all around (me)
Piper: Im not a people pleaser, im a woman pleaser (friend not on tumblr)
Jason (idk why but i instantly thought Jason): saggy balls? (@chefchennan)
Thalia: From your local asexual xx (@wraith--2)
Thalia: Homicide on Pinterest is an interest (@wraith--2)
Chiron: oh that's nice to see! A camper with a smile! (My criminology teacher)
Annabeth: ye I made percy smile by telling him I didn't like him in greek! (Friend not on tumblr)
Apollo: Will! Thoughts on be crime do gay?! (@carpcranium)
Thalia about Frank: Me and him are still friends we shoot kids together yesterday (@chefchennan)
Will doing some form of doctor test idk: I'm gonna skedaddle into your scrotum (@wraith--2)
Thalia: I f**king love garlic bread yummers. Its gotten so bad that I eat is everyday. I sweat garlic butter and shit out logs of bread. It's an endless cycle and I remake the garlic break with what I unleash (friend not on tumblr)
Percy to Annabeth (leo helped after frank found them in the stables): Thine eyes are blessed with the sight of her. Her.
Who I wake to every morning and think of
Who I dream of at night
Aphrodite has forsaken me yet she is my light
The waves will roar and crash
And I know, she is always up for a smash (@wraith--2)
Leo to literally any girl with a pulse: When I see her thoughts are gone
And all I can do is simply long
She could never be mine
Yet still I pine (@wraith--2)
Rachel thinking abiut percy: Days will pass and the sun shall set
All the while I'd place a bet
That I'm still there
Twirling my hair
Dreaming of something that was never fair (@wraith--2)
Thalia: is is the most fun I've had in ages, I'm trying to teach the bot aromanticisum (@wraith--2)
Thalia: As a matter of fact I am definitely aromantic but thanks for the suggestion (@wraith--2)
Leo, he meant to say floppy disks: Have you ever seen one of those floppy dicks-...🤏 (friend not in tumblr)
Mr D: Anyways orgies (@wraith--2)
Will to Nico: She's like nah, no love hearts have an onion were like Shrek now (me)
Percy: When I go to sleep I'm going to dream about gay sea creatures aren't I? (@wraith--2)
Annabeth: It's okay I'm a big girl I cry into my pillow (@wraith--2)
Annabeth: ohhh right in the trust issues (@thatonelazyghost)
#percy jackson#pjo#hoo#annabeth chase#heroes of olympus#nico di angelo#will solace#rick riordan#riordanverse#leo valdez#apollo#toa#hestia#piper mclean#jason grace#nico diangelo#frank zhang#hazel levesque#my friends as#things my friends have said
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Hi again, could you do a tony x little!reader one where reader slips to a year old or newborn headspace and isn’t really verbal. So tony has to do the best he can to take care of her.
Thanks
So tiny, so small
Tony stark x little reader
1,230 words
Edited to the best of my ability
I loved this prompt even though im not too happy with how this turned out my friend said it seems perfectly fine, im just overthinking it.
Warnings: age regression, regression age is about 1 year olds mindset, little names like bumblebee, little star, baby, cg name daddy
Pronouns: she/they
No weight mentioned (all little can be picked up, especially by avengers😤 you can fight me on this (joking on the fighting thing))
No skin color or hair type mentioned
You are responsible for your own media consumption especially when theres warnings, dont like it? Dont read it
《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》
You had been beyond busy, and with busy comes stress, with stress comes self rejection of important things that exist in your schedule put there to help you including coping mechanisms *cough* age regression *cough*, tony did similar to himself but has always been so in tune with you and your headspace, it came second nature to him.
All of that being said he knew for you going three weeks without letting yourself slip was not good, infact it meant one of two things, one being if you dropped it’d be because of painful emotions pulling you apart piece by piece, or two, you’re going to drop extra little and you’re gonna need extra help that day.
He didn't see any problem in either of those because its natural, whatever happens, happens he loves taking care of you when you’re regressed, so much so that it calms him down almost immediately when you bring him a stuffy, he finds you cuddling under your blankie, coloring or when you are absolutely enamored with a movie while soothing on a paci plus so many other things you do.
Out of worry for the day you drop he had everything prepared and set up in a preparation bucket, with that being said when he had gotten up for the day and checked on you before meeting Bruce in the lab you lay there deep asleep, undisturbed cooing and trilling in your sleep he knew what was to come.
You had woken up with a bit of cold to your side you were confused, trying your best you basically shriek out a coo, little did you know Friday had gone through with a protocol you had no idea existed.
"Sir, operation bumble-baybee is active" hearing that chime brought him out of his head "thank you Friday he responds with a giant smile upon his face, Bruce smiling as well, he knew exactly what everything meant, "ill stop by later to visit y’all and see the tiny, you have a good day"
"You too, ill see ya" tony walks out of the lab and heads up to your shared room.
He walks in to see you in a happy little trance of the pretty colors and pretty music, shapes spinning, shifting, changing growing all with music that is infections, leaking into the mind and soothing itself a home in your sweet little head.
"Well good morning little star you’re just having a blast now aren’t you?" He sets his stuff down coming over to your side of the bed where you managed to roll over and turn around, onto your tummy while staying wrapped up in your blankie, you coo and babble in response trying to scoot closer.
He reaches out to take your hands in his, kissing both, before noticing the small fading tracks on your cheeks from scratching, in response to finding them he kisses them as well to make sure they didn't bother you no more and his love was going to make everything perfect.
Helping you up and out of bed holding your hands he heads you to the bathroom so he can get you all dressed and ready for whatever adventure you embark on today even if its just inside the tower, taking the preparation bucket and getting what he currently needs he helps get you changed into a onesie and a pair of cozy fluffy pants to keep you warm and keep a bit of padding under your knees when crawling or sitting.
And than with everything else he adds socks and matching mits to keep you from scratching.
"We hungry bumblebee?" He quizzes, you go to respond but you get interrupted by your tummy talking for you, the growl rumbling telling him you are infact definitely hungry.
Knowing you wouldn't really want a lot of solid food but instead mostly milk or juice.
Picking you up he takes you to the front room putting toys on the floor for you and going into the small kitchen that looks directly into the front room.
He warms up a bottle of milk in a warm bowl of water letting it warm up for fifteen minutes, plenty of time to make a quick and small breakfast he can share with you if you want.
Just a few minutes he walks back into the room to find you squeal at the blocks toppling onto the floor.
"Hey bumblebee, look what daddy’s got" he shakes the bright green bottle a little catching your attention causing you to abandon your blocks and crawl to him with urgency in your little movements, seating yourself perched on your knees in front of him, wrapping your mitten clad hand around the bottle and suckling away with an urgency of hunger only a warm yummy bottle of your favorite type of milk could fix.
He pulls the bottle away for a moment making you breathe so you don’t upset your tummy or choke, "you wanna try a bite of my breakfast? " he asks before giving you the rest of your bottle.
Babbling in response and opening your mouth for food, he gives you a small bite of his breakfast watching you chew and swallow once again making sure you don’t choke at all. "You want another bite bumblebee?" A happy wiggle and opening your mouth for him to feed you another bite than reaching for your bottle taking it in both mitted hands going back to work on your bottle so focused you don’t even realize that there’s no more milk and that you’re just suckling on air.
Pouting when he pulls it away and put it to the side, "its all gone, there’s no more bumble" he chuckles, "aah" you hit your hands against his knee, "no there’s no more, c’mere baby were all done for now" he helps you up into his lap, patting your back, you curl into his chest feeling his chest rise and fall soothing you calm, this is exactly what you needed but its what he needed as well.
《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~◇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》
Forty five min and plenty of cuddles later you start to get antsy, twisting and scooting, he lets you down, taking the plate and bottle to the kitchen, "in that time the penthouse front room was filled with babbling and squealing and the occasional gurgle that sounded like dada.
He comes back in to find you sitting near the elevator patting the doors, "oh sneaky girl, sweet baby what're you doing?" Pouting and patting the doors again babbling about what? He not sure.
"You wanna go somewhere?", "Aaah" you shout hitting the door one more time.
"Ooooh do we want to visit everyone?" Bouncing on your knees and giving grabby hands squealing telling him yes.
"Alright bumblebee, c’mere lets go see the others"
He picks you up, deciding on giving you a piggyback ride instead of how he normally does, with piggyback rides being your favorite because you can see everything he sees and point to things easier.
Once down on the communal floor finding some of the other littles in the tower he lets you down to play with then, watch shows and visit the others around.
Having the absolute time of your day crawling around trilling, cooing, babbling giggling and tons of little talk all that stress of three weeks is finally released and just letting your mind free
《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》
I also want to thank @my-river-lilly for helping me as well as an unmentioned friend who doesn't have tumblr
I hope this fulfills your request im sorry if its not up to your request
#tony stark x y/n#daddy tony stark#tony stark fluff#tony stark x reader#daddy tony stark x little reader#daddy tony x fem reader#tony x little fem reader#tony stark x little reader#tony stark x you#tony stark x plus size reader#tony stark x little!reader#age regressor insert fic#agere reader#sfw agere#age regression
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*ring* *ring*
"allo?"
"hey candi, its me mahi"
"oh morning mahi. why're you calling this early? did something happen?"
"more or less. do you think you and ikkan can handle the store alone today? i couldnt sleep a wink last night and REALLY dont feel capable of going to work today. *sniff* i dont wanna lock myself in the bathroom like neta always does hehe"
"take your time darling, well handle the shop today. take care of yourself alright? if you need to talk to someone i can always lend an ear."
"thanks candi. but dont worry, mizoles coming over in a bit anyway. im good. i promise. see you tomorrow."
*click*
"mahi?"
"over here"
"babe..... what happened"
"nothing... im just overreacting...."
"no youre not. tell me whats on your mind"
"youre gonna think its dumb..."
"i should feel insulted you think that about me"
"pff ur right. im just worried about neta and warabi. especially warabi. actually only warabi, i know neta can handle himself. and i know neta said its just a low risk mission but what if something happens to him. what if he gets into some dumb argument with some other soldier and gets beaten up. what if he gets lost. what if he dies. and- and i cant call or text him or anything because they couldnt *hic* couldnt bring their phones and im just so lonely and i dont know what to do without him here *sniff* i miss him so much"
"and its just the 3rd day of their mission and theyll be gone for at least 2 more days and i already cant sleep! i just want him back home.....ugh sorry i probably sound pathetic"
"no you just sound like your wife died"
"i FEEL like my wife died!" *uncontrolled sobbing*
"hey... cmere... look at me. theyll be fine alright? warabi managed to get on netas good side im sure the other soldiers will warm up to him too. plus neta wouldnt let anything happen to his number one employees best friend and husbands bandmate, right? and im sure if it was actually dangerous his parents wouldve intervened"
"*sniff* yeah... youre right.... i just miss him....."
"i have an idea. were gonna have a fun day together: eat breakfast at a nice buffet and go to wahoo world. we can also call your friend, uhhh what was her name? umami??"
"umishi?"
"yeah that one! she can join too! i wanted to get to know her anyway"
"hehe i dont know if shed like to get to know you though"
"whats that supposed to mean?"
"oh nothing nothing hehehe"
"hmmm fine whatever, ill excuse it cause youre cute."
"youre such a sap"
"and you smell like rotten sushi. get in the shower, im cleaning your kitchen"
>this plays parrallel to @yesyourstalker's posts w warabi and neta. :) just thought hmmmm how does mahi feel about this
umishi was metnioned sooooo @catastropic
#guess who decided to attempt words for once.#oc x canon#splatoon oc#mizole#splatsona#fishie#fish at fish fish resort#self insert#self ship#splatoon#fin scratching
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i have to be up in like 4 hours but i literally just cant sleep. it's a special type of maddening to see palestinians being slaughtered and yet in my public space just everything going on as normal. i didnt attend my masters graduation because my university supports israel and i would rather cave in my own skull than be any sort of complicit. my family had planned a vacation next month for the past year before this genocide started and im gonna have to go. every morning im waking up brushing my teeth drinking a bottle of water and running errands thinking about how every single thing i enjoy has lost its taste because of how far the world has gone. my parents and coworkers and strangers talking about politics and the us election like its actually a real thing that matters and not just another distraction made by a bloodthirsty colonial government. my parents tell me never to make jokes about dying at my age and are then willfully ignorant of the slaughter of children overseas. every night when my dad watches the news i see the anchors talking about hamas like if theyre personally responsible while ignoring the sheer magnitude of bloodshed and i have to stop myself from breaking the tv. people online have taken to cruelty like a drug because the sheer lack of empathy for palestine haunte me. i see in the work text chat that the workplace is organizing a mandatory team get together to promote unity and ill have to hear them talk about the latest trends like they matter. i have had a constant headache since this thing started back in october and I feel like im going insane. literally none of this is even a fraction of the suffering the people of palestine are going through.
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this kid getting lost is such a mood
except for me its not "getting lost on the way to the top of a mountain that's really dangerous and far away to get to", it's more like "getting lost on the way to a friend's place who lives 15 minutes away, while they were trying to tell you where to go, and also whose house you have been to more times than you can count, but then you had to sit at a playground and wait for them to come pick you up because youre just that hopeless at navigation"
WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY
THEY'RE IN THE SAME PLACE AGAIN
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING I WOULD DO OML
stop i might cry
this kid is amazing
i would trust him to guide me into the afterlife
he could take over charon's job fr
PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
im shivering so much rn, leeches give me the heebiejeebies more than like. anything
i smell merch??
(side note: why are earth/phu's arms so veiny in that shot)
i just love him so much
i hate children but i would adopt this one and take care of him better than hes ever been taken care of before
HSDHSDHHDS
HIS ONE CHARACTER TRAIT IS LOVING HOW PRAN SMELLS AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH
he's just so silly
their father/son dynamic will be the end of me
especially when i think about pat and his relationship with his actual dad :(
PLS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO OVERDRAMATIC
PHU POINTING A GUN AT A BUSH WHEN ITS DEFINITELY JUST GONNA BE ONE OF THE LOST GUYS
PAT TRIPPING OVER A ROOT
PRAN AND TIAN GRIPPING FOR DEAR LIFE SO THAT THEY CAN MAKE IT UP A SLIGHT HILL
IF THEY LOSE THEIR GRIP, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN
ITS SO FUNNY TO ME
BUT ALSO ITS SO UNNECESSARILY DRAMATIC
AND THIS IS COMING FROM A DRAMA KID
SEE????
i love him so much
GUYS CALM DOWN OMG
I CANT STOP LAUGHING
ITS LITERALLY GOING TO BE FINE
SEE????
also once again: his arm is so veiny???
THEM <33333333
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
GERHSGBDRHV
these dramatic-ass gays
(i was gonna say something about the importance of grammar there and the hyphen needing to be where it is for it to be right / make sense, but "dramatic ass-gays" would also work)
LOOK AT THEMMMMM
PHUTIAN WALKING WITH THEIR SON BETWEEN THEM LIKE THE DADS THEY ARE, AND THEIR ADOPTED SONS PATPRAN WALKING WITH THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER
THEY ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
wait how long were they gone for
HIS SMILE <3
HIS DIMPLES <3
PAT'S FACE ON THE SIDE THERE <3
T H E Y A R E D A D S
are you sure about that
theyre so important to me
<3
i really want noodles now
its 1am and i want noodles
theyre listening carefully to all the tea, tuning in to the drama
its just, some are more discreet about it than others
look at this little guy
just enjoying his noodles while the adults do their adult things
i love him so very very much
something about this image is just so funny to me
i think its the kid
i genuinely forgot his name
but i love him so much
as a 158cm tall (5'2) person, i dont like how tall they all are
knowing that ohm is 186cm tall and nanon and earth are 183cm hurts me on a deep emotional level
theyre so small. theyre such tiny little silly guys. and yet theyre all more than 20cm taller than me.
honestly i agree
he's wonderful
he's multi-talented
just like sound
by the way, soundwin = patpran and if you dont believe me, click here! (that was a seamless transition into a very casual self promo)
holy hell i love this child so much
i would protect Kampung with my freaking life
i would die for him without a second thought
i should also probably do that
my eyes keep going shut so then i need to pause the episode for like twelve seconds so i can get a little bit of sleep
its getting more and more difficult, though
i think ill finish in the morning, it's saturday tomorrow
goodnight!! bye-bye!!
#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep#our skyy 2#bad buddy our skyy 2#os2 bad buddy#bad buddy series#bad buddy the series#bad buddy#our skyy x bad buddy#our skyy x a tale of thousand stars#our skyy x atots#patpran#ohmnanon#earthmix#phutian#ohm pawat#nanon korapat#mix sahaphap#earth pirapat
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watched planes trains and automobiles for no real reason... like never seen it b4 so just put it on lol.. anyways today im obv gonna be chilling tho tomorrow im nervous cause im gonna be going to the two swap meets again and its like a hour long drive n everything and i almost got into a p bad accident yesterday so im like @_@ tho ill be fine for sure i think almost getting into an accident is good just to make u be more aware when u get comfortable after driving for a while. and like ya ill be fine since ive already driven there b4 but am also nervous & excited to be driving for awhile :) and listening to music on my lil adventure. my moms going on vacation for hte weeekend to visit relatives so shes gonna be gone when i come back but im leaving b4 she does tho im hoping i can get a good nights sleep and be comfortable in the morning.. def gonna put a water in the fridge overnight so i can take water w/ me if i get dehydrated.. and like if i cant sleep and go thats ok too since my moms obv going somewhere which doesnt happen often so like i have nothing to be upset or angry abt. and the boss said my lasst batch i brought was real good (lionel richie, so peter gabriel, other stuff i forgot already cause im dumb n goofy) so like if i dont get anything it should still be fine. but im aiming to go and wear shorts out again. really realized theres nohting stopping me from weearing whatever i want lol. now that i drive n stuff like i can rly do whatever just have to kinda be aware n stuff
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tl;dr my uni house sucks absolute fucking ass and its been building but one things happened today and it has. tipped me over the edge. so its either write it out or scream
i just want. one fucking week in this house where noone does anything that makes me want to beat the shit out of them
we had a couple silverfish earlier this week so i put my houseplants on a window sill in the shared hall outside my room because of the damp. this was 4 days ago and i havent watered them since so they should be bone dry.
last night i went to bed first but the other people who live here decided to stay up and get drunk
i got my plants back in today because there havent been anymore silverfish and went to water and prune them but when i leant in closer to the first one i noticed two things.
1. the soil was soaked through and messy
2. it fucking stank of piss
so yknow i dont want to jump to conclusions but what other fucking conclusions are there here. someone in this god fucking awful house thought it would be funny to take one of my plants and piss in it for fucking what??? for the laughs???
theyve poured wine on my dishes, they broke my kitchen scales, theyve screamed and tried to break and kick in my door at 4 in the morning when high on ket, theyve made fun of me to my face, theyve made fun of my hobbies, they make snide comments where i can tell i’m being made fun of but i cant work out what i’ve said wrong, theyve slammed doors at every hour of the fucking night for weeks, they scream up and down the stairs at 3am, they call me boring, they call me stupid and autistic and unfunny and bitchy and nit-picky and overly sensitive and i am so fucking SICK of trying to live here
every day i am masking so hard that i’m even more irritable and i go to bed exhausted and full of anxiety because i know!! i know everytime i leave a room they all look at each other like oh thank god ollie’s gone we can finally be offensive and i’m not sleeping properly, and i’m always on edge in my own home. i cant relax here ever
and idk. someone else might take this less seriously and brush it off. but i cant and i’m tired of trying to explain to them that maybe its funny to prank each other but when you fuck with my stuff it’s not funny, it completely derails my expectations of things and especially with adhd my reactions to things can be out of proportion. so its not funny at all. im just so angry that im shaking and i want to beat the shit out of someone. so no, i dont take well to it, and im not gonna laugh and deal with it, im gonna cry, and react like a kid. and then noone is having any fun because everyone acts like its so awkward that im upset when really they could just be normal fucking decent people and leave me the hell alone.
and now i have to try and deal with this and i have no fucking clue how im even meant to approach it. “hi guys, just wondering who pissed in my beloved trailing ivy? it was £25 so would love some financial compensation and also for you to hold still so i can break your fucking nose!”
i dont even know if i should just leave it because its just not worth it. i dont even care if im a pushover at this point i am so. tired. of trying to make them respect me as a person. thats what it feels like, it feels like they dont even see me as a person they just see me as a fucking circus freak.
the plants still in my room. i dont even know what to do with that. i dont want to touch it because just touching the pot made my hands smell. so just everytime i look up i get upset and scared and angry all over again because its right there. and im 90% sure i know who did it but if i confront him about it he’ll do that thing where people go cmon its just a joke why are you being so sensitive? jeez, lighten up its not a big deal and ill look stupid and sensitive and different like i always do
ive got 4 more months of living here and then i am fucking gone and i am never speaking to these people again.
#you know its bad if its getting me to re-consider moving back in with my parents#this is. a kinda long and very angry rant but honestly im shaking right now so its warranted#local old man#vent post
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For him.
Its past ten in the evening, and i am still thinking about you. If last wednesday did not happen, we would have been in yet another meaningful and heartfelt conversation of two closed to lovers individuals. I would have told you about how my first day of internship went by, and on how stressful it has been. You would have been there to comfort me with your kind and reassuring words, while making me laugh with the memes and tiktok videos you collected all day while waiting for me. You would have told me the food you cooked today, and how delicious it was. You will tell me about how you played League with Andy and John, and on how you spent the day in the farm, or perhaps i could imagine you've gone grocery shopping alone or did some errands for the family. We would have been thinking about what topics we weren't able to cover, and we would be consulting google by now about "the questions couples should ask one another". We would be laughing, crying, and smiling by now. I would be feeling butterflies in my stomach again, something that i felt since i met you, and something that i lost, since i let you go. When its already close to twelve, we will be reminding one another how it was already 12 midnight even if we promised to sleep by 11:30pm. You would have told me "i still want to talk to you tho", and i would have replied "i have an 8am internship tho..." with a sad but cute emoji. You would have asked for five more minutes, and of course, i would have given it to you. I'll bid my goodnights, and you'll end our conversation with "and oh you're beautiful even if your hair is messy" "i appreciate you" and "i'll greet you first thing tomorrow". I would have woken up before eight in the morning with your "good morning sunshine, what are your plans for today?". I would have replied about my plans, and ill ask you about yours and you'll simply reply "im just gonna wait for you to end your day. You know im just gonna lazy around". Perhaps, if we were still talking, you would have bombarded me with all the tiktok videos you saw on your feed, and i might need to turn off the notifications to remain focus on my work. I'll get some notification on my telegram regarding updates on how your day is going, and another random notification on discord on how you will join our server, share your screen, to let me know youre just playing some games, and i'll say hello from time to time whenever i jumped in. You would have messaged me how delicious is your lunch and dinner, and you would have reminded me to eat fish and vegetables and to stop munching my favorite chocolate ice cream every afternoon. You would have asked me if i needed help on anything, and you would have sent me a pic of you lazying around your house. It would have been like that Gelo. It would have been yet another happy, calm, eased, and peaceful despite how stressful that day might have been because you were there. I am comforted by your presence. You have become what you promised me you'll be--my sanctuary.
You have done so much for me. You have proven yourself to me. You have taken away all the doubts that I had for you, because you've shown me who you are, and what you are willing to do to make me happy. You are very consistent. You practice exactly what you preach. You include me in your life and in your dreams. You always say "we", instead of "i". You always say "for you", instead of "for me".
But after all i guess you are such a great dream, that when i woke up that wednesday morning, i am in anguish knowing that the things youve done for me and the words you have told me, maybe just all lies.
Have i done something wrong? Haven't i showed you enough care, love, and effort for you to look for other women? Am i not enough? Am i not making you happy? What was wrong with me? Am i lacking on something?
These are the questions that have been running back and forth on my head the night i figured out you were back on that site, and you are in fact, entertaining girls while i was away on vacation.
Did i not reassured you that you are the only ones that i will be talking to? Did you doubt me? Did you not trust me that i can drink and party without entertaining men? If so, you could have told me. You could have communicated it to me, so i could have assured you enough, that when i come back, i will still comeback for you. I will still choose you.
But why do that? Were you afraid that i'll cheat on you? So you did it first before i could do so? Why? Why did you not even bother to explain yourself. Gelo i will listen to you. I will hear you. I will try to understand why you did that to me.
If you truly and genuinely liked me, why didn't you fight for it? Why did you not assert that i needed to hear you? Why did you not come after me? Why did you let me leave you, even if you know that i did not want to do that?
Only if you had the heart and the courage to explain yourself, and genuinely beg for my forgiveness, I would have given it to you, and I would have not let go of your hand. I would have fought for us too. But why did you not do that? Do you honestly think that I mean it when i said i want to end what we have just because of this? Or did you really wait for me to discover you because you know exactly i will leave you, and thats the easy way to let go of me?
I have so many questions that i want you to answer but i know you cant.
It pains me, it hurts me, and it kills me every night to think about what happened to us. It breaks my heart fully knowing that you did not even try to make it up to me. Did you really liked me?
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wedesday morning
he's still asleep. i wasnt gonna get up yet. i was gonna sleep in on my weekend, like i always tell myself im gonna do bc i hate getting up early. its only 8am, and im glad im not waking up at 10 or something. i couldnt get his keyboard to work. he has this whole setup now, and i love it bc im totally gonna write more. im totally gonna make more art now.
we got a desk for the room. it reminds me of my old desk, at the house with all the memories. that was my little studio. i have so many memories in that desk. so many dark moments, too. but i like to look back at those years, i love to imagine myself back there, but i cant. its like i know i cant go back, but i just wish there was some way i could grasp it just enough to get those emotions i used to feel, to somehow be that person again for just a half of a second.
id like to think id be satisfied with half a second, but id probably hold on too tight if i found a way to do that, and never let go.
i had this little square of wood. im not sure what youd call it, what i used it for. it was my special block though, and i miss it. i miss how i used to create. so genuine and so easily. not always, but i let myself back then. i havnt let myself create like that in years.
its kinda funny, when i was 14 or 15 i would write these stories about how one day i got out of there, i escaped that stupid little town, i left and i never looked back, i created the life i wanted. in most of them, though, i just met someone and they saved me. they took me far away and i loved them forever. in most of them, if im being honest, tj came back.
he came back just like i fantasized about every night for months and then years. i dont remember when i fell out of love with him. it was longer than a year. i waited all that year, knowing he was gone but i couldnt handle it. i think i sent him an email once, and he probably didnt even log into his account, its probably sitting in there still.
id look at these pictures i had of him, and id think about how i could see us together in the future. i always thought about how hed be such an amazing dad. i wrote so many letters to him, i never sent them. i couldnt even give him that note id worked so hard on the day he left.
it took a really really long time for me to heal from that boy. and now that i dont idolize him, i cant imagine ever falling for someone that way again. i dont know how i could have, i didnt even know him. i think he was just the only boy whod ever given me some sort of hope that i wasnt unlikable.
so i did need that. i needed to learn all those lessons that taught me. i needed all those moments from that time period that ill never be able to remember.
all i know is i miss my childhood so much it hurts. id give almost anything to go back, and im not supposed to say that, bc i thought id let go of it ages ago, for the last time. i thought id accepted it was over and decided to finally live for that girl i used to be.
its kinda funny how all the little parts of our lives flow together so nicely when you look back, despite how incredibly different we were, how differnt the times were.
im still not sure when my depression was at its worst. there was one fall-summer that i wasnt there. i didnt exist. i dont remember myself.
id wake up at like 5pm and go out, id walk to the library and grab a random book, id go take my walk and sit by the water or stand on the bridge looking out at it. it was always so cold, but i dont remember being cold. i just remember the street lights, the snow, the music, the pain.
id get home and start reading, and then it would be 6am and id have finished that book, and i went to bed and cried myself to sleep, and then it would happen all over again.
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wednesday, april 5, 2023
today was a good day. i might be a shitty person but it wasn't too bad.
i didnt fall asleep well last night. i stayed up til 2am and kept seeing people staring at me through the window, and i saw people standing in the doorway behind the curtain. i ignored them, curling up and sleeping on the couch with a red light on. that was nice
i woke up at 7:00ish as my dad started making his coffee and i woke up and went to my bed, continuing to rest. i was supposed to meet nik at 10am to play ace attorney but. i never made it. i woke up at noon.
i feel shitty for lying to him about my alarm not going off but i really needed some more sleep. i got close to 10 hours. i need more rest soon too, because nik and i rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am. we need to finish case 3 of game 2. its 10pm now. i should take my meds so im tired and go to bed early tonight.
i lied to her about my alarm not going off but thats okay. it's fine. we go tomorrow anyways.
after i lied, my sister had work at 2:45p so i couldnt take her car to meet nik later. but i had coral come over around 3:30pm and we went into the basement. we put on a ghibli movie, porco russo! i watched it the other day and she hasn't seen it yet. i didnt love it but coral is a massive history nerd so the planes and ww2 stuff made her happy and entertained. we did an insect puzzle while we watched it! below is it
once we finished that puzzle i made us a snack. i cut up 2 apples and put some cheezits into a compartment container, and we each got a rice krispie! she drank coke zero and i had cranberry grape juice. i keep getting uti's so ive been drinking a lot of cranberry juice.
once we finished our snack we went to make a different puzzle but it wasn't really fun so we just started watching the wind rises. i REALLY like the wind rises, but it made me cry the last time. i get really attached to other chronically ill characters, so nahoko,,, hit hard. thats okay!
we didnt finish it, we had 44min and 4sec left but we had to head out to go to trivia at this pizza place with her parents. we played trivia, i got 1 question right, and helped with some others, but mostly just kept track of the score. we scored 5th out of the 12 teams. we wouldve gotten 3rd if they had gone with one of my answers hehe~
we might do that again, it was fun! anyways, we got home and took the dogs for a walk. its insanely warm out, 82F and it was 9:30pm when we took them. too warm, especially with high humidity.
also, my arms kinda felt like it was broken all day. i dont rly like that. im gonna ice it and hope its not.
anyways. long day, so tired.
xx
misery
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Good morning mama xx
Here are my live updates,, sorry it's so long and makes no sense hehe
<3
#justiceforsunoo #letsunoospeak #ilovesunoo
Lord hoon IS DRIVING ME INSANE
I'd say the same for Hee but at least hes being helpful now
Well appart from the bloody towel 🥴
OMG HOON APOLOGISED
YEAH THATS RIGHT BUTCH BOY TAKE HER FEELING INTO ACCOUNT
Oop they have to have more ChEmIsTrY~
Naur is opening the door rly a good idea
Bestie you only just got a compliment 😭
HEESEUNG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UR MAKING MY DIZZY SHDJDJD
ACK THEY ACIDENTLY KISSED AGSJDJS
Not them both blushing acajagshsgajagshs
A rabbit plush awwwwwe
NO DONT TALK OUTLOUD TO THE RABBIT HE WILL HEAR YOU
FUCK DID HE HEAR
Awwwwww Heeseung :((
AHHHH HEESEUNG
WANTS TO SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AGAIN
Stop off hes fuxking cuddling her AAAAAAA
MY HEART
You two will slay come onnn
Wuh oh jake has entered the building
YEAHH SUNOO A JAKE FAN BOYYY
as he should be
Huh 😳 he kissed-
Broski
We just met (kinda)
Uh no
Hee angry
Hee jealous
NOOO HEESEUNG 😭
I love jake and all bit like I'm pro-heey/n soooooo
Back off bitch grrrr
NO Y/N DONT SAY SHIT THAT WILL MESS THIS UP MOREEEEE
YOU DO HAVE CHEMISTRY BRUHHHHH
Heeseung 😃 wha
Hee kiss
a
AAAAAAA SO MUCH IS GOING ON
Agahsgshsgsjsgsj THEY KISS AGAIN
NO HEE GONE
AAAAAAAAAA
SO MANY EMOTIONS
Oh the day 6 warning
Sad time D:
Awwwwwwww they talk :(
Heey/n bonding
Jake better not come along me be a little jealous snake >:(
MAN
NOT THE SHOWER
AGAIN
😳
Oop sgsjsyf not hee turning the jake walking in around
Hee definitely left the door unlocked so she would walk in again 🧐
Jake's here
Yayyyyyyy?
NOT HEE PULLIBG HE SHIRT
IM GONNA FAINT 🥴
THE HANDS TOO
AGSJD FFS
Heeseung jealousy era is in full swing
What if the tension between hee and jake ain't so straight 👀 they do be making alot of eye contact ahdjdkd
PHA THE GET A ROOM LINE
SO TRUE
Wuh oh not tofu soup again
Jake's smile 🥺💖
Okay I agree with y/n
Pushing the heejake agenda
The fangirls would be thriving
Y/N FORGOT HER PAST ENCOUNTER WITH JAKE FFFFFFF
OOP JAKE IS DOWN BAD FOR Y/N
THE LOVE TRIANGLE IS IN FULL FLOW
FFS JAKE LET HER GO FIND HEESEUNG GRRRRREDDDE
ILL START BARKING
oh wait he'll just BARK back
I WILL BARK LOUDER
ASAAASDFFRSID HEE CONFESSED SJDKDJDHSHDHF
NOOOOOOO DONT FIGHTTTTTTTTT
BRUHHHHHH
NAUR JAKE ILY BUT NOT RN PLS THIS AINT GONNA HELP
Okay imma stop here for today as its getting late but
OMG DO I REGERT LEAVING THIS SO LONG
I mean I knew it was good when I read the first 2 chapters BUT AFTER 4 MORE
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND THE FLOW OF IT ALL IS SO GOOD
one again you have Grace us with amazing writing, fabulous descriptions, gripping angst, AND HEESEUNG BEING SO ATTRACTIVE HELP
Honestly you slayed as expected and I even when I do a chain of live thoughts like this I never can Express fully how much I enjoy each tiny aspect if your writing and the story
I hope you slept well or had a good day (depending on how long you leave this to read- it is quite long)
Love you sm mum 💖
~M 🐝
"depending on how long you leave this to read" - way too long and i'm so sorry, i just felt like death those past few days. but:
AAAAAAAHHHHH 🤩🤩 you read it and you loved it 🤩
please I love the live commentary, it was so much fun to read and relive my story through your eyes 😭😭 and i can't wait to see you and Jake in a barking duel 😭
mooo thank you so much <33 I hope you get to read the remaining chapters soon too... okay selfish mode off now: thank you so, so much. I can't be praises for hee being attractive though, he can pull that off without me 😭😭 I just screamed about him today.
I love you so much more and I wish you an amazing week in case it takes you as long to see this as it took me to answer 😭😭 again, I'm sorry. Love you, sprout 💖
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