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manicpixiefelix · 3 months

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he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) // epilogue

{ head, heart, hand. masterpost }

Summary: Oliver is haunted by what he's done to get his happy ending in Felix's arms. His guilt is only made worse when he meets the first member of your family to actually remind him of you. Unfortunately, he does not find it to get better from there.

{ context; please read he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) first }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD IN THIS ONE, but you do get to haunt the narrative. congratulations?

Warnings: discussions of death/overdose, lots of guilt, manipulative oliver, felix being upset, vaguely unhealthy oliver/felix, lotsa angst, oliver quick reckoning with the sunk-cost fallacy.

A/N: 6828 words. first, i don't usually do part 2s when i say something is a oneshot, so this is a rare occurrence. secondly im sorry this is almost 7k there's something wrong with my brain i think. thirdly bro, bro, listen to me; ANGST. HURT NO COMFORT. HURT NO COMFORT. it's soft in the middle THE SOFTNESS IS A LIE. ITS GONNA HURT ALL THE WAY DOWN (apart from nana i love her nd i hope you will too)

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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One hour and fifty three minutes.

Rounded up, because all things considered, he should round it up, that's two hours.

Two hours. Like the blink of an eye in the scope of a whole life. But a very long time when you sit and count it out.

One hundred and twenty minutes. Seven thousand, two hundred seconds. He's always counting two hours, seeing exactly how long it feels like, how he can fill that amount of time. Seconds pass like a steady heartbeat.

He can do a lot in two hours.

Oliver tries to occupy himself nowadays more than ever, and really tries not to be alone, but it's hard. Farleigh left for Oxford. Venetia, before she decided to backpack across Europe and find herself, wouldn't let anyone touch her anymore.

Oliver doesn't like leaving Felix alone, but sometimes he has to be. You're laying cold in a family crypt somewhere next to a grandfather you never knew, and while Elspeth and Sir James don't comment on it, they both scowled when your parents sprung the announcement on everyone at the funeral.

Felix spends a lot of time alone at the edge of the maze. He's making a fairy garden where you had waited. Sometimes he'll drive into town without telling anyone, and come back with quaint, second-hand miniatures to add. It's beautiful, shining with greens and golds when the setting sun hits it just right.

So Oliver finds time to occupy himself, when he's alone and all he can think about is you sitting by the maze. You laying by the maze. You alive when he'd run from the maze. And the two hours that followed.

Sometimes he leans out of his window and shouts to the gardeners so far away they look like ants; even at this distance, his voice carries, and he sees them turn, search for him, ask if he's okay. He is, and he apologises, and he think about how far his voice carries.

On occasion, out of the blue, he'll lift Felix up when he hugs him, able to get his feet off the ground as Felix wriggles and clutches him out of surprise. Of course Felix lifts him with ease in return, spins him around, but that's not the point. Oliver is stronger than he looks; he wonders if he could lift you, could carry you far, if he could have dragged you if it had come to it.

Some nights he wakes up in a fright, your rapid heart rate beneath his fingers and he swears he could hear you whispering for help amid your shallow breathing. Please. Pleading. Begging. You were alive when he'd left you. He presses two finger to Felix's pulse point beside him, and tries to calm his breathing, to focus on Felix's slow, steady heartbeat.

And some days he sneaks into the computer room and curses how long webpages take to load when he looks up statistics on overdoses. Symptoms. Niche forums where he can learn what it felt like from survivors. People luckier than you. Their words, their stories, the recollections of those horrifying sensations stick with him, even as he diligently erases any trace of his browsing history.

And he thinks about how fucking long two hours is.

"Nan's coming over later," Felix tells Oliver idly one Sunday afternoon, "we're having tea of you'd like to join us." They're laying out in the grass, Oliver in the grass finding shapes in the clouds, Felix on his side, chewing on the stick of a lollypop he'd finished an hour ago and gently tracing abstract patterns on Oliver's chest.

"I thought you said your granny haunted Saltburn," when Oliver looks at Felix, he still can't help the way his heartrate picks up. Felix Catton touching him in the most gentle, caring way; he'd never stop feeling lucky for getting here, and never forget what he did to earn it.

Felix's gaze moves with his fingertips, up Oliver's warm, bare chest, twisting two fingers in the delicate chain around his throat. He looks pensive; but shakes his head after a beat.

"Different nan," he says distractedly, plastic straw trapped between his teeth. He tugs the chain experimentally, like he's forgotten it's attached to Oliver at all. He's in his head again; Felix is always in his head nowadays, but there's still often echoes of who he was, echoes of what Oliver has fallen for in the first place.

And he's finding himself falling more and more for this version of Felix too. So he tell himself that it was all worth it.

"Love," all these pet names - Love, Darling, Sweetheart - because if he slips up, tries to call him Fi, Oliver knows he'll only get ice in return, "is everything okay?" Oliver carefully reaches up to cover Felix's large, warm hand by his throat with his own. Felix meets his gaze, and gives a faint smile, an attempt to reassure him when he says he's fine. It doesn't work, but Oliver lets it go, and lets Felix tug him in by his chain for a kiss.

"Tea sounds lovely," Oliver murmurs against his lips.

There's something about this visit has Felix alive and buzzing the he way he hasn't in a very long time. Still he's quiet, but his eyes are bright as he follows behind the staff members setting up tea and biscuits in the garden. He goes through all the DVDs the family has and picks out a stack he thinks would be suitable, making sure they're all perfectly stacked by the DVD player. Oliver floats along behind him, and simply allows himself to admire Felix's energy.

Still, Felix finally takes a moment to breathe right as it becomes noon, and decides to have a bath to freshen up before his guest's arrival; two hours before she'd be here, Felix reminds him.

Two hours.

Oliver feels drawn to his own room. He doesn't allow himself to be alone in Saltburn often anymore, doesn't like the thoughts that crop up when he does. Perhaps it's a kind of punishment, a painful reminder, penance for what he's done.

There's a scrap of paper that he keeps tucked in a book in his nightstand, his own handwriting stuffed amongst a collection of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories, words he'd clung to and scribbled out the minute he'd gotten the chance so he'd never forget them exactly.

From the coroner's report, according to Duncan and Sir James. Time of Death; around 2am. Cause; narcotics overdose, and there were signs of alcohol poisoning.

On the back, he'd written '12:07'.

"Mum and dad both say it was a tragic accident," Felix's voice in the dead of night, the night they'd gotten the full report, riddled with guilt and unspilled tears, betrays his disbelief regarding the sentiment. Felix doesn't talk about how his last words to you were shouted with anger. Felix doesn't talk about how your last words to him were a desperate plea for him through tears. Felix doesn't think that it was an accident; only Oliver knows that he's almost right, just not in the way he thinks. Or dreads. But he has to bite his tongue on the truth, and let the man he loves live with this unjust guilt.

The water starts loudly draining for the tub, and Oliver isn't sure how long he's been sitting on the edge of his bed with his eyes squeezed so tightly shut, but he scrambles to stuff the page back into the book, and toss it back into it's drawer. He can smile again, and admire whatever outfit Felix chooses for the rest of the day, and pretend like he doesn't feel your rapid heartbeat or hear your shallow breathing every time he touches that paper, like he had the night he left you.

With the hour drawing ever closer to two, Felix keeps checking his watch. The minute he deems it to be time, he gives up all pretence of small talk - which had been another thing severely lacking as of late - and snatches Oliver's hand, pulling him through the house. They even outstripped Duncan and the footmen by the door when there comes a firm knock. Its the only time Oliver has ever seen any of the Cattons open the doors for themselves.

And it's not Felix's grandmother.

"Hi, nan," Felix sounds so genuinely happy as he hugs the older woman at the door with a warm smile and your eyes.

Oliver feels like he's frozen, like he's seeing a ghost. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Duncan actually standing aside, giving Felix and your grandmother a quietly fond smile.

"I swear you get taller every time I see you, oh, my lovely boy," she says with a warm laugh that sounds so damn familiar, "or maybe I've been shrinking, you get to my age and people tend to do that," and Felix laughs, actually fucking laughs. Oliver realises it's been a long time since he'd heard Felix give a proper laugh like that. As the hug ends, Felix let's her tuck her arm in his as she continues, "just you wait, one day you'll only be six-foot tall." Another laugh, and Oliver can see how genuine and broad he's smiling, how his eyes shine when their gazes meet. She's surprisingly sprightly for her age, it seems. Oliver recognises your grandmother from your funeral, but hadn't made the connection at the time, so he's surprised when Felix goes to introduce him and her eyes sparkle with recognised.

"Nan, I don't know if you've been properly introduced, but this is -"

"Your Darling, Oliver," and it's said with such warmth; her hug feels almost like home, "you strange, little thing," she laughs, "it's called a hug; are you not a hugger? I should have asked," but she doesn't apologise, nor does she let go for a few more beats. Oliver gives into this moment, closes his eyes tightly and hugs her back.

"Our Darling Oliver," Felix echoes with such admiration, and when Oliver opens his eyes, it's the first time since you'd passed where his gaze has held only the love and pride Oliver had been craving since he'd first laid eyes on him.

Once Nana - she'd insisted Oliver call her that too - lets him go, she tucks her arm in his, and is waving Felix over to her other side, briskly asking where tea was to be held. Duncan leads the way and she fawns over him too, apparently downright overflowing with love for Saltburn and everyone and everything in it. She talks more than she doesn't, but considering who Oliver is and who Felix has become, that suits them both just fine.

It's been too long since they've had tea together, she insists, and doesn't talk about why exactly that would be. She doesn't bring you up, not while you were all making your way through the house, but once she's settled outside, she takes a moment. The way she looks at Oliver in this moment makes him queasy; the smile, that look in her eyes, the way her gaze takes all of him in. A woman, whose time is so precious to her, taking her time to make him feel seen. Felix is quiet, intrigued by the exchange.

Your phantom heart beats beneath Oliver's fingertips.

"You're Y/N's grandma," Oliver says quietly, breaking the tension. Present tense still, they all play pretend. She smiles, and finally leans back. The moment is broken; Felix pours them each a cup of tea. Nana takes a jammy dodger and looks over the gardens with a smile.

"Of course, dear," she says sincerely, taking a bite of the biscuit, but being so eager to talk that she spoke through half a mouthful, "and when they were thirteen they told me I was Felix's grandmother too, because they'd overheard Felix's mum talking about how she hoped they'd get married some day." Felix snorted a laugh at that, turning pink around the ears as he prepared everyone's tea, as if on autopilot.

"Does that -" Oliver begins awkwardly, but he tries to smile, "do you think in time, they would have ask the same of you about me?"

"Considering how they spoke about you," there's a twinkle in your Nan's eyes as she turns back to him, smile knowing, "there's absolutely no doubt in my mind, my dear." All you had ever done was love him; love him and stand in the way of the love he desperately craved.

Oliver watches his tea for a long while, spinning the ornate cup on its matching saucer, while your Nana almost immediately picked hers up and took a tentative sip. Watching out of the corner of his eyes, Oliver notes the way her face goes on a journey of emotions, from pleased, to confused, to a sudden realisation as she looks to her cup.

"I should have asked you how you liked your tea," Felix realises too late, apology in his voice as Nana puts her cup down with a forlorn, yet fond look.

"No, darling, it's nice to know you know how my grandchild liked their tea," and she holds her cup delicately, looking into it's warm, brown depths, "just the same as I always made it for both of us when they were much, much younger."

"I am so sorry to ask," Oliver hears himself blurt out, unable to help himself, "but how does all this love just skip a generation?" It comes out far worse than he intends it to; he means to ask how someone so loving as you come from parents so uncaring, yet how did either of those parents turn out the way they did when the woman in front of him was clearly bursting with just as much love as you had been. Thankfully, instead of being offended, your grandmother laughs.

"My daughter is a wonderful, intelligent, compassionate, impressive woman," she begins, but sighs with unmistakable disappointment, "but my late husband was never capable of even trying to be a father over pursuing his own interests, and it's one of the few traits she actually inherited from him," she shook her head, "and she went on to fall in love with a man who loved her but suffered from that exact same defect," after a beat, she looked up with a warm, reassuring smile, "it's why I love Y/N so fiercely, and so hard," her grin turns soft and adoring, looking between the two boys before her, "the only way my daughter has ever disappointed me is as a mother, but I will never be disappointed in Y/N as my grandchild."

Oliver knows there's tears in his eyes, and Felix has ducked his head. Immediately Nan begins apologising, realising she'd set both of them off. Despite this, Oliver tries to wave her away, insisting it's fine, before he asks about her; he's heard bits and pieces he thinks, but Y/N had always been so cagey about their family. Honestly he's surprised that your grandmother knows so much about him when he feels like he's barely heard about her.

Despite turning out to be an incredibly decorated artist, with paintings selling for more than Oliver's pretty sure his own family's house is worth, your Nana is quick to downplay her own successes, simply insisting that it took decades of hard work. Again, he sees you in her eyes.

"We've got a few up around the house," Felix adds, "most of them actually from before we even met Y/N," and your Nana gives him a shove, as if flustered and embarrassed by the idea. But Felix is beaming, happy to be showing off her accomplishments, just as he always took joy in celebrating you; "there's one in your room."

"What?" Oliver asked, and your grandmother also seemed surprised, though touched by the thought.

"It used to be their room, actually, but Ollie moved in there, so Y/N was staying with me," he explains a little awkwardly, wanting to skim around as many implications as he could. Thankfully she doesn't comment. All she asks is which one. Felix and Oliver both think about the room; Felix about the few pieces of art on the walls, Oliver about your time of death in the drawer. You were alive when he left you -

"That one of the stars, and that person smoking; I think you actually gave it to them as a gift," he frowns for a beat, "for when they turned seventeen, I think?"

Oh, Oliver knows that one. It's enchanting, blues so deep, so rich it's like you could swim in them, stars that seemed to actually glow on the canvas, and the hazy, dark outline of the window in the foreground, and part of a figure against the windowsill, lit cigarette the lone spot of fire, of red or orange, that makes everything else warmer for it.

"That one really surprised me actually," Nana admits, giving Felix a shrew smile, though he only seems confused, "did they ever tell you anything about it?"

"Said you painted it for them; pretty sure I remember them crying about it," he says fondly, reminiscing, "one of the best gifts they ever got, I'm not lying, they say it every year. It's beautiful." Then, as if recalling what she'd actually said, he looks at her curiously, "surprised you?"

Her smile widened into something both knowing, and endeared.

"I asked them to send me a photo, a postcard, their very best drawing, anything, as long as it was their favourite place in the world - do you really not recognise it?" The tea and biscuits are gone by now, the tea portion of their afternoon is coming to a close. Felix shook his head, almost looking like a lost child, as if he was aware there was something he was supposed to be understanding but couldn't quite get it, "Felix, my dear boy, they sent me a photo of you; that's their dorm room window from boarding school."

Felix looks winded, and a bit like he's about to cry.

"Oh you two were impossibly sweet," she reaches over and holds his hand tightly, looking over to Oliver earnestly, "you take care of this dear boy and his heart, you hear me?"

"Yes," Oliver all but trips over his words to agree, "of course, nan." And she gives him a pleased grin.

They move indoors after this, Felix quiet but lending his arm to Nana, which she takes, while she explained that usually you and Felix would visit a few times a year when they were on break, but she thought it would be best to come to Saltburn this time, given the circumstances.

"You should come see the place when you get the chance," she insisted, patting Oliver's hand.

"It's mostly where Y/N was raised before they ended up staying at Saltburn," Felix supplied with a grin, piquing Oliver interest.

"Y/N's childhood home? Oh I have to see that," he grins, and your grandmother grins brightly for a long moment.

"I'm sure Y/N would love that, they can give you the grand tour -" but her face falters, falls, as if she'd just remembered. Sombre silence, the spell is broken. "I'd love to have you around, dear," she corrects, much softer this time.

Felix lets her pick a movie, while Oliver settles himself awkwardly on the sofa. He wants to reach out to Felix, to touch his cheek, feel his boyish smile and know that it's real. But Felix isn't really even looking at him. There's something childlike about his enthusiasm here, about how he sits on his knees on the floor, watching with rapt attention as your grandmother pores over them. He practically glows as she praises his choices. When she picks one, she hands it over and he scrambles on all fours across the short floor space to the DVD player, fumbling with the case like he can't put it in fast enough. There's a softness in your grandmother's eyes as she watches the boy who has seemingly forgotten the man he is; when she looks at Oliver, its like he sees her asking how easy is he to adore, what a beautiful young man.

"You don't mind watching a movie do you, Oliver, dear?" She asks, though it's clearly an afterthought. He's already shaking his head, assuring her it's fine. Felix is already scrambling back, remote in hand. Oliver tries to make space for him on the sofa between himself and your Nana, but he seems content to sit on the floor in front of her, leaning back against the sofa with her knees gently pressed against either of his shoulders. Handing her the remote, Felix twists to give Oliver an expectant smile.

"Come here, mate," he insists, patting his lap, his legs kicked out in front of him. At Oliver's obvious confusion, Felix blinks for a few moments. It's like he's waking from a dream. His face falls, he goes to apologise, strained smile on his face, "sorry, I know that's weird, you don't have to -"

Slowly, Oliver moves from the sofa, sitting beside Felix on the floor. Your grandmother's knee is pressed gently to his back, but he's not quite sure if he's capable of relaxing enough in this moment to mind. She's playing with Felix's hair, having already started the movie.

"This is what you and Y/N would do," Oliver said softly, and rested his head on Felix's shoulder. Felix takes his hand, and laces their fingers together.

"Do you like it when people play with your hair, Oliver?" Your grandmother asks idly.

"Um, sometimes," he answers, still feeling rather awkward. He hears her chuckle warmly.

"It's okay if you don't want me to; Felix likes it so much he lets me braid it when it's long like this."

"Oh, I know Felix loves it," Oliver hears himself agree, "if he were a cat he'd be the kind to purr any time someone scratched between his little cat ears." And while both he and your grandmother share a fond laugh, he can hear Felix's smile in his words. He gives Oliver's hand a squeeze.

"I can't even argue; I wish I could purr right now."

Oliver wants to bottle this moment forever, keep it locked tight in his chest.

But the movie is a long one. One hour and fifty six minutes. Two hours rounded up. A whole two hours. Enough time to fall asleep with his head in Felix's lap the way they both said you used to. He wakes with your heartbeat in his ears, rapid, alive, left for dead.

"You okay buddy?" Felix looks at him with genuine love and concern; it's been such a long time since he'd seen that look, even with everything that had been happening, "I'm here, you're okay," he assured. Over by the television, putting the remote back, your grandmother glances over at the interaction with a warmth that makes Oliver feel queasy in this moment.

And he'll look up from the book, from his notes from the coroner's report crammed in, obscuring the end of one story while The Tell-Tale Heart begins on the other. Felix will be getting ready for bed in the other room, but he won't sleep there. He can't sleep there. Can't sleep in that bed without you, can't move the costumes from that night that hang side by side as a reminder of the hole you'd left behind in his life. Oliver will read approximately two am in his own messy handwriting, and look at the digital clock on his bedside that had read 12:07 when he'd crashed into his room and locked the door and sunk down against it. The numbers had been shining red in the darkness. On the wall behind, that starry night sky and the hint of Felix and his cigarette; a home you'll never return to hung up in the home you'll never truly leave.

He put enough coke in that bottle to kill a fucking lion. He'd given you the bottle. He'd told you he loved you. He'd left you like that.

He knew you were dying.

He'd left you alive.

Two hours.

The book snaps shut. In the silence he thinks he hears your breathing. Please, Ollie, help. Paranoia is a cruel thing, he has to tell himself; paranoia and guilt.

"Can I ask you something?" Felix joins him just as he's putting the book back in it's drawer. Oliver, heart beat racing - never as fast as the memory of yours, oh now it's all he can think about again - nods quickly. Felix sits on the end of the bed, clearly preoccupied, fussing with the buttons of his pyjama shirt. The days are getting cooler now; Oliver misses his bare skin against his, but he still feels too precarious to make such an observation.

"It's about Y/N," Felix swallows, can't meet his eyes, "about that night." Oliver feels his mouth go dry; the worst fucking night of his life. The night he doesn't know if he'll ever figure out if he regrets all he'd done.

He nods again.

"Were you the last person they spoke to?" It's like Felix is forcing himself to not shy away from this moment, giving Oliver the attention he thinks he deserves for such an important question. Then, after swallowing hard, he can't help but drop his gaze, "why," he can barely get it out, there's already a lump in his throat, "didn't they come into the maze too?" Oliver can't even give him that.

You'd been such a mess on your way to the maze, even with Oliver supporting you. Crying, furious, apologetic; you were everything at once. Even when you couldn't bring yourself to go in, everything about you had been sliding from one emotion to the next. But then it had stopped.

"I can wait for Fi here." It's the most sure that he'd seen you all night. It's when he knew. It had to be you, even if he loved you too. He'd never forget how clear your smile was, how sincere you'd urged him into the maze to follow the tail of what he thought was right. The sight of you, waiting, obedient and loyal for your master to return; "I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

Oliver knew before he'd even entered the maze that Felix's return to you would be too late.

In the present, Felix waits too, diligent, expectant. Oliver thinks about lying. Oliver thinks about how the truth will break his heart. Oliver thinks about how close Felix will hold him in his guilt riddled grief.

"I don't think they wanted to interrupt -" Oliver tries to start, but Felix immediately swears, hangs his head.

"Can't fucking believe I did that," he spits, "I was angry, and off my fucking face, sure, but that was fucking low, even for me," he admitted, pitching himself back on the bed, whole face scrunched up with guilt, barking out an upset fuck far louder than the others, prompting to Oliver to tentatively ask what he means. Felix took a moment, as if forcing himself to calm down, before he admits, voice low like he was sharing a secret, "I never even took Eddie into the maze," he sighed. After a beat, he conceded, "no, okay I did, but we didn't do anything - we made out a bit, but -"

"You didn't fuck you ex-boyfriend in the maze," Oliver connected the dots quickly, "but you did fuck your best friend's ex-not-girlfriend who you kind of stole from them, out of spite after kicking them out of your the bed you've been sharing all Summer?"

"Fucking hell, Ollie!" Felix sounds especially wounded when he lays it all out like that.

"Sorry," immediately, Oliver apologises, knot in his stomach when he hears Felix's pained tone. He wonders if this was what it was like for you all through the night of his birthday. Fuck, he can't think about that.

"No, but you're right," Felix admits, eyes finally opening, looking all hurt and vulnerable. Oliver lays himself down next to Felix, going the other way, both of them looking up at the ceiling. Oliver's hands rest on his chest, trying again, softer this time.

"So was a special place to them?" He gets no response other than a guilty nose from Felix, "you think that's why they wanted to wait by the entrance?"

"They wanted to wait for me," Felix says weakly, clearly in his head about that night once more, "didn't want to interrupt even as I was fucking defiling our-" but he catches himself turning bitter again, mouth snapping closed, "after everything I said that night," he mumbles, "fucking hell," he chokes out. The pain in his voice is audible. This is the sweet spot, Oliver thinks.

"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver whispers amid Felix's faint sobs.

"What?"

"You asked me what their last words were," Oliver told him as softly as he could manage; Felix sits up, eyes wide, distraught, so full of guilt and love and - "only thing they were properly coherent about; waiting for you," Oliver props himself up, reaches out to wipe a tear from Felix's cheek.

"You're not- Ollie, please tell me you're not kidding," Felix practically begs.

"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver reiterates, making sure to meet Felix's gaze as he holds his face, "'s the last thing they said- they said; I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

God he can see it in Felix's eyes; it's like the man's entire world crashes down around him. But he clings just as Oliver had hoped he would. As Felix holds him tightly, Oliver can't look at the glaring, red numbers of the clock on his bedside, the constant reminder of the two hours where he could have done something. Two hours and those wouldn't have been your last words.

He looks at the painting. At the stars. At Felix and his cigarette and your idea of what home looks like. The stars look just like they did that night. Just as bright. Oliver closes his eyes. Guilt twists people into shapes they don't often recognise; Oliver just holds Felix, hopes they twist into something together.

Except Oliver's guilt isn't the kind that twists, it's the kind that bites. It's like moths, eating him from the inside out. The guilt leaves him with jagged edges and thoughts he'd rather not be having; there are shades of Felix Catton that he loves, but shame and revulsion bites just behind the guilt as the months pass and he realises more and more this is not what he wanted. This is not the Felix he wanted.

Felix is like an echo, like the sun without it's warmth; he can look just the same, smile, talk, charm just the same if it was required of him, but there was something clearly missing from every interaction. Guests to Saltburn would pull his parents aside and ask if everything was alright. He is, but he is not the same as he once was.

Every day Oliver looks in the mirror and sees something grotesque behind his eyes that no-one else seems to notice. Felix Catton was meant to be the prize, the one who tossed aside everything but the best, the one who made the world fight for his attention, and feel heartbroken when he merely looked the other way. After all this, Felix Catton was not someone Oliver expected to be bored by.

Oliver Quick had lied for, lied to, betrayed the trust of, worked to gain the trust back of, loved, made fall in love with him, and literally murdered the love of his life who he also loved and was themselves also in love with Oliver while still considering Felix the love of their life, just to get a chance to spend his life by Felix fucking Catton's side. He wasn't allowed to not want this.

Felix smiles at him, says he loves him, fucks him, but it's not the dream Oliver once had. Something is always missing. No. Oliver deliberately took that thing away. But he can never admit that, nor can he ever regret that; too far gone. Oliver doesn't want to talk about the past, Felix can't being himself to talk about the future. Trapped together in the present, living lives that no longer feel like enough. Their routine becomes suffocating. Even Venetia, the few times she's stopped back at Saltburn, can barely manage a disdainful look, as if merely inconvenienced by Oliver's presence.

The growing apathy of the estate and it's occupants is exhausting. The cost of this lifestyle has long since surpassed it's value. He's even bored of being haunted. Two hours feels like fucking nothing when the days drag on the way they have been. Behind his eyelids he doesn't see you begging for help, you hiss for him to run, to get out.

He should have listened.

"Ollie, can I show you something I found?" Felix sounds bright today, and though Oliver wants to roll his eyes at the idea of anything in this house being new or novel enough to show off, he smiles back instead.

"'course Felix, what is it?"

Except Felix isn't smiling at him. Felix is looking far more serious and determined, sitting on the edge of their shared bed. Oliver immediately frowns.

"Have you been hiding something from me, Ollie?" It's a trap; a forced confession. Oliver shakes his head, plays dumb. Felix takes a deep breath, the kind that shifts his whole body, his expression remaining firm, "before I show you this thing, I want you to be honest with me; you promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore, you remember?" Oliver tries to lighten the mood, leaning against the window with a warm smile.

"Of course, my lovely Felix, no more lying," he assures, but the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with the way Felix remains quiet.

"What's seven-past-twelve mean?" Felix is watching him closely; too closely. Scrutinising his every move. It's like Oliver's been doused in ice water, even his tongue frozen in his mouth, "and what's it got to do with what happened on the night of your birthday?"

Felix doesn't even look at the night table as he opens it; his gaze is solely on Oliver. It's clear he'd done this before, pulling out the book, flicking through it's pages, and pulling the delicate, incriminating piece of paper out from where it had been safe for so many months.

"Felix, I-"

"What does twelve-oh-seven mean?"

Oliver is the deer again, trapped in Felix's accusatory gaze. For just a moment, Felix's voice drops, pleading with him for some other explanation, that Oliver wasn't somehow caught up in what happened, more closely, more malevolently than he'd ever said -

"Tell me," there's tears in his eyes, the furious kind, the ones where he's desperate to love and hope against all odds, "Oliver," he pleads through gritted teeth, "tell me you didn't know."

"Know what?" Oliver's voice is a hoarse whisper; he knows he is caught, all he has left now is borrowed time and a desperately silver tongue he doesn't know if he can rely on anymore. But Oliver's tragically weak denial is enough for Felix to all but jump to the right conclusion.

In a rush, Felix has Oliver by the collar of his shirt, pressed to the window -

"You knew they were dying and you fucking left them there."

This is the tipping point, the end of whatever good this had been. Felix could hurt him, Felix had hurt countless people on your behalf, he'd seen it himself. But Felix had always been the bleeding heart; you were the one who had to be kept on a leash. Felix could hurt him, could probably maim him for what Oliver was about to say, but he never shared your stomach for true Machiavellianism.

"Of course I knew," Oliver managed coldly, despite Felix attempting to crush all the air from him, "the amount of coke I gave them in that champagne could have killed a rhino-" it needed to be unforgiveable, the confession, so Felix would let him leave, would never want to see him again. He hadn't expected the force of Felix's rage to have the glass behind him give out.

Oliver falls from the second story window into the hedge garden below. Felix's shouting is tearing through the whole house it seemed, making his way downstairs, while Oliver tries to regain his breath and figure out if anything's broken. He's pretty sure it's not, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as Felix drags him by his feet from the hedges, demanding at the top of his lungs that Oliver get the fuck out of Saltburn.

Every single person who'd been in the house comes outside to view the commotion, to see Oliver struggling to his feet, to get away from Oliver. Elspeth looks helplessly between the two boys, wondering what happened -

"Tell her what you did," Felix demanded, once more getting into Oliver's space, jabbing at his chest, "tell her what the fuck you just told me -" and Oliver's strength isn't insignificant, but Felix is in a fury, flooded with rage and adrenaline, and he grabs the back of Oliver's shirt like he's scuffing a cat, shoving him towards his mother like an offering. Oliver struggles because he feels like he has to, feels wild, feels feral, but it's the most of anything he's gotten from Felix in so long. His mouth stays shut, won't give him the satisfaction of a confession.

"He killed them," Felix doesn't even let Oliver have his power play before he grows bored. He shoves Oliver just a little, grip unyielding despite Oliver's best efforts, like he means nothing to him. Elspeth and Sir James are confused, looking between them both, but Felix isn't done with stringing Oliver up for all of Saltburn to see, "Y/N; he intentionally dosed their drink and left them to die outside the maze."

The Catton parents immediately look crestfallen; it's the first time in months Oliver's felt genuine guilt again. Oliver stops fighting. Felix lets him go. Elspeth asks him if this is true; that heartbroken hope is going to make him sick.

"Just send me away already," he drops his head.

"Oliver," Elspeth's voice is firmer this time; when he looks up, she's stepping towards him, tears in her eyes despite how hard she's clearly trying to hold herself together, "is Felix telling the truth?" Is this it? Is this the final gate to his freedom from Saltburn.

"Yes."

Elspeth slaps him so hard her ring draws blood. Oliver hadn't thought that was even possible, but his head is ringing from the collision.

"Get. Out." She hisses with absolute malice as he's hunched over, clutching his face. Felix is by his mother's side in a heartbeat, arm around her, looking at Oliver with contempt. Behind them, Sir James is ordering Duncan and the other staff members to get Oliver off of the property as quickly as possible, but the look in Elspeth's eyes is burning, "this is my family, you monster."

At first, it almost feels worth it to leave Saltburn. To leave the Cattons and their bullshit and their games behind. He thinks he knows them well enough to trust that they don't want the kind of scandal a murder on their hands would be, and for the most part, he's right.

It's not the Cattons who haunt him after Saltburn, though they may be pulling the strings. It's you. It's you sitting on Felix's bed in his dorm room reading every single detail of Michael Gavey's file with threats on your tongue. It's the casual way you talked about being able to access his academic files to change his grades if he wanted. It's you, tipsy at Saltburn, admitting that you got Eddie transferred without his consent to a university on the other side of the country after he cheated on Felix with Venetia.

There's no place for Oliver to return to at Oxford... He's not entirely surprised about that, however, there's also apparently no record of him ever attending. Any calls or enquiries he makes are shut down with the kind of immediacy that seemed reserved for shows about government conspiracies. When applications open for other universities, it seems websites shut down the minute he fills out his damn name. Nowhere in the world seems willing to consider him.

Having him audited seems like overkill. When it happens the next year, despite no employer willing to even consider him for an interview, the existential dread of his situation sets in.

Felix never had the stomach to finish the job; he'd let you haunt Oliver forever.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick x you #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick imagine #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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joekeeryswife · 2 months

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Love island Episode one: Coupling up.

a/n: it’s here! thank you to everyone who voted over this past week. here is the love island series. Mason has his pretty prince hair😍. villa is the 2019 UK love island villa, it will get better but i wanted to get the coupling up over with. anyways sorry if there is any mistakes, enjoy reading 🩰

you’d never been this nervous before. sure you’d been nervous but never this bad. you had been scouted for love island by the producers and you thought you’d give it a go. you had a pretty big following being a model/influencer with just over 500k followers and this would be the perfect opportunity for you to finally find love instead of focusing on your job.

you walked into the villa in you hot pink bikini, you picked it because it would stand out and that’s what you wanted to do. you wanted to make a good first impression on whoever was in here. you made your way to the garden and saw four other girls meaning you were the last to enter before you saw Maya Jama.

“hey everyone” you said making the four girls turn towards you and scream with excitement. they met you halfway and one by one introduced themselves to you. “i’m Molly nice to meet you” she kissed you on the cheek and hugged you closely. the next girl hugged you “hi im Chloe” she hugged you.

“i’m Anna” she hugged you and kissed your cheek and then you finally moved onto the last girl “im Amber nice to meet you” you didn’t know what it was but the girls even though you hadn’t been in there long had all made you feel welcome already.

“i’m y/n, nice to meet you all” you were still nervous as Molly poured you a drink. “so, tell us about you y/n. what’s your type?” you took a sip of the champagne before starting. “well, i’m 22, in a model and influencer. my type is tall, tattoos, brown hair brown eyes, tanned skin, someone who’s athletic and don’t think i’m weird but i love noses” the girls laughed.

“don’t worry y/n, i’m with you on that one” Chloe laughed. “tell me about you girls then, we are gonna be living together for a while” you tucked your hair behind your ear as you listened to them.

Chloe started “well, i’m 25, i’m a marketing executive. my type is anyone who is taller than me to be honest. i don’t really have a type i usually go for. i like anyone, and i do have a thing for noses” you laughed again knowing that this was gonna be a recurring thing that you would all speak about.

“as you know i’m Molly, i’m 23 and i’m an influencer. my usual type is a tall brunette but i’m open to get to know everyone here” you nodded and then Anna started talking. “so i’m a pharmacist and my usual type is anyone taller than me, because i’m so tall i want someone taller than me”

to be honest Anna was very tall so it wasn’t a shock that she’d want someone taller than her. lastly Amber started talking “i’m a beautician so i do facials, lashes, lip filler, everything like that and my usual type is tall dark and handsome, i don’t know how else to explain it” you all laughed and then you all heard a voice behind you.

“hello girls” you turned towards the voice and saw Maya standing there. a few of the girls screamed, seeing her made this experience feel so much more real. “how about we all gather around the fire pit and have a chat?” all of you made your way over to the fire pit and sat down.

“so, Amber, tell me, how are you feeling about being here? are you nervous? excited?” Amber nodded “yeah i’m excited because you never know who’s gonna come through that door like it could be the love of my life” her gordie accent thick as she spoke.

you all laughed and nodded, you really never knew who was about to come through the door. “Chloe, do you think you could meet someone here? or are you skeptical about it all” Chloe shrugged “i’m pretty skeptical but i’m optimistic about the whole thing. i’m excited to meet everyone else”

“okay well, are we ready to meet some boys?” you all cheered and made your way over to the five love hearts that were by the pool. you were on the fourth heart in between Anna and Chloe. “right, remember girls that you can step forward for the guy you like but he can pick any one of you even if you don’t step forward” Maya spoke so you understood the rules.

“let’s welcome our first boy Ovie” you all looked toward the door and saw him, he was very good looking. you all clapped as he made his way down the steps. “you girls doing alright?” you all said yes as he stood next to Maya. “so girls, step forward if you like the look of Ovie” you looked at the girls and saw Anna, Chloe and Amber step forward.

“wow three girls stepping forward already. Amber, why did you step forward?” Maya questioned “he’s just really good looking, definitely my type” Ovie was shocked that three girls stepped forward for him. he was hoping for at least one let alone three.

“y/n, why didn’t you step forward?” you blushed “now don’t get me wrong you’re very good looking but i just want to see the other options before i step forward for someone” Ovie and Maya nodded understanding where you were coming from.

“okay Ovie you have three beautiful girls who have stepped forward for you but who have you decided you are going to pick?” he was silent for a few minutes before he finally spoke up “the girl i would like to couple up with is Anna” Anna clapped with excitement that Ovie picked her. to be honest when they stood next to each other they looked perfect together.

“okay, next boy we have coming in is Toby” you all clapped again as he made his way down the steps and you heard Chloe whisper ‘oh my god’. she liked him for definite. “okay girls, if you like the look of Toby please step forward” straight away Chloe stepped forward. Chloe was the only one who stepped forward for Toby.

“okay ones not bad” he said making you frown but you quickly changed your face back to normal. “Toby you have Chloe who has stepped forward for you, would you like to couple up with Chloe or would you like to couple up with someone else?” Maya said fidgeting on her feet.

“Chloe is beautiful so i’m going to couple up with Chloe” you all clapped as Toby made his way over to Chloe and he kissed her on her cheek. Chloe blushed and smiled happily that Toby picked her.

“Molly why haven’t you stepped forward for any of the boys?” Maya asked looking at her intensely. “they just aren’t my type really, i bet they’re lovely but i’m just waiting for that spark straight away” Maya nodded “okay well i think you may like this next boy then, please welcome Tommy”

Molly gasped as he made his way down the steps, she was in shock at how good looking he was. “okay girls, if you like the look of Tommy please step forward” Amber and Molly stepped forward. “wow two girls, didn’t expect that” Tommy said smiling widely. “well, Molly and Amber have stepped forward for you Tommy, who would you like to couple up with? remember you can pick someone who has stepped forward for you, in a couple or even a girl who hasn’t stepped forward.

Tommys eyes scanned through the girls before making his decision. “i would like to couple up with Molly” she jumped a little as Tommy picked her. “thank you for picking me” Molly said as she gave Tommy a hug and he kissed her on the cheek. “you’re welcome beautiful” she blushed brightly.

“okay girls, last two boys. y/n, do you think you will step forward? you haven’t stepped forward for anyone” you nodded “i know, i feel bad but no one has really caught my eye yet” Maya understood “hopefully someone will catch you eye” you agreed.

“okay girls welcome Curtis” you didn’t even like the sound of that name right off the bat and seeing him just solidified that for you. he was not your type at all. “okay girls, if you like the look of Curtis please step forward” you were not stepping forward. you didn’t want to just step forward because you had too, you were here for yourself.

it was silent for a few minutes and sadly no one stepped forward for Curtis. his smile faltered slightly before he quickly put it back on his face. “oh Curtis i’m sorry” Maya said and he just shrugged it off “it’s no bother, they just haven’t gotten to know me yet.” he replied.

“okay well don’t worry, you can couple up with any of these girls. who would you like to couple up with?” Maya continued “i would like to couple up with y/n” your heart dropped but you didn’t show your sadness, you just had to get on with it.

Curtis made his way over to you and gave you an awkward hug. “y/n, how are you feeling?” god you hated that she had to ask you that “oh uhh, i’m glad i got picked but i just didn’t see that initial attraction but i guess i don’t know Curtis?” you sounded like you were questioning yourself.

“okay well, let’s see our next boy. please welcome Mason” you turned your head toward the door and your heart started beating. there he was and you were in shock at how pretty he was. “hey everyone” he said, even his voice was sexy. “girls, if you like the look of Mason please step forward” straight away you stepped forward as did Chloe and Amber followed.

“wow y/n, i’m shocked. you actually stepped forward for someone” you blushed and laughed. “well, it glad she did step forward for me” Mason winked at you and you felt weak. he was making you feel things you’d never felt before.

“Mason you have the choice to couple up with any of these girls, who would you like to couple up with?” Mason answered straight away “y/n” you were ecstatic. “that means Curtis automatically couples up with Amber” Curtis walked over to Amber and Mason made his way over to you and kissed you on the cheek and pulled you into a nice hug. “nice to meet you” he said as you stepped back to the heart.

“nice to meet you too. thank you for choosing me” your body felt hot, he was the perfect man by looks, and he had a nice nose. “well, you’re a beautiful girl. i’m excited to get to know you” you locked eyes with him, his eyes were dark brown but in the sunlight you could see golden hues which were so pretty.

“okay guys, everyone is now coupled up. i’ll leave you too it and remember, if you don’t get to know anyone your place in the villa may be at risk. good luck” with that Maya left and it felt even more real. “should we go over to the swing? i want to know more about you” you nodded your head and smiled. Mason grabbed ahold of your hand and the two of you headed over to the swing.

*to be continued*

#fanfiction #imagines #mason mount #masonmount #mason mount one shot #mason mount x reader #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount blurb #mason mount imagines #mason mount icons #mason mount imagine #mason mount masterlist #mason mound series #mason mount love island series #mason mount x fem!reader #mason mount x you #mason mount x y/n #mason mount fluff imagine

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sailor-aviator · 7 months

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Don't Hang'em Til Noon: Chapter Six

Don't Hange'm Til Noon: Chapter Six

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: Jake "Hangman" Seresin is a notorious leader within the Dagger posse of the old western territories of the United States. You, a recently orphaned socialite from the eastern seaboard, find yourself swept off to live with your older brother who has set down roots in said western territory. Determined to to make the best of your situation, what will you do when said outlaw sets his sights on you?

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (oral, f receiving), Jake Seresin. I think that's it?

Word Count: 6.4k (I'm so sorry, oh my god)

A/N: I have no words for this one. I warned y'all the train scene was gonna be something else. Also, shoutout to @im-just-ken for taking the time to do research for me and putting up with informing me about all of the different aspects of the Victorian Age!! You're the best!! As always, reboots, comments and likes are greatly appreciated!! 18+ ONLY!! Find me on AO3 under sailor_aviator!

Series Masterlist || DPU Masterlist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin Tag List

The sky was overcast and the distant rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance. Autumn was beginning to give way to winter, and a new routine had settled in over the ranch in the three weeks since Jake had started working there.

“What are you doing here?” you had asked him with wide eyes. His smirk had widened at your flustered appearance. Your mind raced back to the events of the night before and you gave your tomatoes a run for their money with how red your cheeks must have been.

“Didn’t your brother tell you?” Jake asked, quirking an eyebrow at your brother. “I work here.”

“No, you don’t,” you gaped, glancing wildly back and forth between the two men. “Since when?”

“As of yesterday afternoon,” Benjamin sighed, casting you a sideways glance.

“But, why?”

“You made it pretty clear yesterday morning that you were only interested in men who work for a living,” he explained, cocking his head to the side with a bemused look in your direction.

“I didn’t mean here!” you spluttered.

“Well, Benji here was kind enough to offer me a job,” Jake nodded at the other man. “Isn’t that right, Benjamin?”

Benjamin let out a sigh that sounded something akin to “lovesick fools” as he turned to stalk off towards the barn. You stared after him helplessly before Jake cleared his throat, gaining your attention. His smirk was gone, replaced by a much more serious look as he gazed at you.

“I’m not going to cause any trouble,” he stated, shaking his head when you gave him a dubious look. “I mean it. I’m here to work and earn my livin’ like a man should. I give you my word.”

You studied him for a moment. His green eyes held a look of sincerity and a desperation for you to believe him. You sighed. “Alright, Jake. I’m taking you at your word.”

“Excellent,” he beamed down at you before giving you a stern look. “Now go on and get now. I’m tryin’ to work and you’re distracting me.”

You chuckled lightly, giving him a small smile. Jake’s stern expression dropped, a look of wonder replacing it as he stared at you. A moment passed before he broke out in a grin and turned his attention back towards the fence.

Now, an air of easiness had settled between the two of you as life on the ranch continued. Jake worked hard, and he never complained about what was asked of him, even going above and beyond on a couple of occasions. You had even found him napping in the barn one day after a night where the coyotes had been particularly active, and you had allowed the poor man to catch up on his rest in thanks.

You were on your knees in the garden, digging up the onions you had planted a while ago, when you heard the sound of a horse making its way up the path to your home. Looking up, you saw U.S. Marshal Simpson making his way to you. You wiped the sweat from your brow, stumbling to your feet despite the numbness that had paralyzed your limbs from sitting on them for too long. Beau Simpson smiled at you as he dismounted, walking over to meet you by the fence to your garden.

“Marshal Simpson,” you greeted politely.

“Afternoon, Scout,” he said. “Please, call my Beau.”

“Of course,” you smiled. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Well, I was hopin’ you could help me out with something.”

“And what is that?”

He looked out to the empty pasture before glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “Was hoping you could tell me where I might find Jake Seresin.”

Your blood ran cold. You knew he was probably out with the others, moving the cattle in from the far pasture, but you weren’t about to tell Beau Simpson that.

“And why would you think that, Beau?”

He fixed you with a look that said he knew you knew why he’d think that, but he played along. “Well, amongst other things, I heard he managed to get himself a job here against your brother’s better judgement.”

“You shouldn’t gossip, Beau. It’s the Devil’s pastime.”

He let out a laugh at that one. “Well, from what I hear, it’s hardly gossip, Scout, but alright. You seen him around?”

“Can’t say that I have,” you responded cooly, picking at the dirt underneath your fingernails. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. You had told him the truth, you reasoned with yourself. You hadn’t seen Jake that day. Beau was quiet for a moment, studying you thoughtfully before letting out a long sigh.

“You should be careful, Scout,” he began, pushing up off the railing. “It won’t do you any good to get tangled up with someone who’s due a hanging. You might end up caught in the rope yourself, if you aren’t careful.”

You didn’t respond. He tipped his hat to you before moving towards his horse. You watched as he mounted and made his way back towards town. You stared after him long after he disappeared from sight before walking slowly back into the house. You went upstairs to wash the dirt from your face and hands before setting out to make dinner. It was a couple of hours before the four ranch hands made their way through the back door, laughing and smiling the entire way. You scowled at the group of men.

“What do you all think you’re doing?” you snapped. Four pairs of wide, shocked eyes turned to look at you, the laughter and chatter stopping immediately. You glared down at the floor where their boots had left muddy shoe prints on the hardwood. They followed your gaze before slowly looking back up at you with sheepish grins.

“Sorry, Scout,” Levi apologize, already moving back towards the door. “We’ll go get washed up outside.”

The others murmured their agreement and filed out after him. Jake was the last to move for the door, and you quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him back. He turned to stare at you, surprise turning into a question.

“I need to talk to you,” you said. He smiled down at you with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Oh yeah, honey girl?” he drawled. “What about?”

“Marshal Simpson came by today.”

“Cyclone?” Jake asked, taken aback. “What did he want?”

You dropped his hand, and moved towards the stove where you had left dinner unattended momentarily. “Came by to ask if I had seen you.”

“Oh?” he questioned, leaning up against the wall by the door, watching you with an unreadable expression on his face. You hummed, nodding.

“Don’t worry, I told him I didn’t know where you were.”

He seemed surprised at that, pushing off from the wall and coming to stand by your side. “What?”

“I told him I hadn’t seen you. It wasn’t a lie, technically,” You rushed out. Jake stared at you incredulously before frowning.

“You’re not telling me something,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You glanced at him before looking back down at the pot of soup you were stirring. “What else did he say to you?”

You sighed and recounted what Beau had said. Jake swore, turning and running a hand through his hair. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” you offered in a huff. Jake whirled back to look at you, worry lines crinkling his brow.

“Nothing to worry about?” he laughed humorlessly. “Scout, don’t you know a threat when you hear one?”

“I don’t see why he would be threatening me,” you argued, hands on your hips. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’ve done something or not, sweetheart,” he groaned out. “He knows I work here, and he knows what to go after now.”

“I don’t understand,” you frowned. “You weren’t this worried when I mentioned him before. Why are you now? What changed?”

Jake stared at you for a moment. He moved to say something, but the door swung open as the other ranch hands filed in.

“You better go get washed up quick, Hangman,” Phillip laughed, clapping Jake on the back before taking a seat at the table. “Might not be any food left for you when you get back.”

Jake gave a half-hearted smile to the other man before giving you one last look and walking out the back door.

The next morning, business continued on as usual. You had just hung the laundry out to dry when you heard the front door creak open with a thud as it hit the wall.

“Scout!”

You walked into the parlor where Benjamin stood, grinning wide as he searched for you. His smile grew impossibly wider as his eyes finally landed on you. He raised his hand up to reveal an envelope, and he shook it in excitement.

“Benji, wha-”

“It’s a letter from Aunt Jo!” he cried excitedly. You let out a happy cry of your own as you rushed forward. Your Aunt Josephine had been your mother’s older sister, and you had spent many days running around in her orchard growing up. She was a kind woman, and she had helped to fill the void of your mother’s passing. It had been hard to leave her behind.

“Have you opened it?” You were practically vibrating from excitement. Benjamin shook his head.

“No, I wanted to read it with you.”

“Well, go on!” you laughed, gesturing for him to open it. He did so, eyes scanning the paper quickly.

“She wants us to come for a visit,” he smiled, looking up at you. Your grin matched his own as you hopped excitedly.

“What’s going on here?”

The both of you turned to see Jake standing in the doorway with an amused glint in his eyes as he watched the two of you giggle like school children. You felt heat rise to your cheeks.

“Our Aunt Josephine wrote to us,” you explained in a hurry. “She wants us to come visit.”

“Yeah?” Jake grinned at your enthusiasm. “When?”

“Says she wants us to come up for Christmas,” Benjamin frowned, scanning the letter over. Your heart jumped at the idea of seeing a white Christmas again. You thought it was one of the many things you had given up when you moved out west to Maverick. Benjamin lowered the letter with a grim expression. “I can’t go.”

“What?” you cried, looking over at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said slowly, “that I can’t go. There’s too much work to be done here on the ranch, and I can’t take the weeks off from the firm.”

“Oh,” you said dejectedly. “Well, we’ll have to write back to Aunt Jo to tell her we’ll come at another time, then.”

“No, Scout,” Benjamin said firmly. “Just because I can’t go, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I know how much you miss it there, and the trip will mean so much more to you than it will me, anyway. No, I insist. You’re going.”

“But, Benji-”

“I’ve already made up my mind,” he said, offering you a smile. “Now we just need to find someone to go with you. Ah, but Hondo and Joel aren’t do back for weeks now. Maybe I could get Tom to-”

“I’ll do it.”

Both of you turned to look at Jake. His eyes darted between the two of you as you gaped at him.

“What?” Benjamin questioned. Jake cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter.

“I’ll go with her,” he said firmly. Your eyes darted to Benjamin who was already looking at you. He cocked his head as if to say that he was okay with it if you were. You bit your lip, mulling your options over. You worried about the implications that might arise at having a man who wasn’t family show up with you in Baltimore. But you knew that Jake could be trusted. He had shown you the kind of man he was capable of being, and you trusted him enough by this point to know you would be safe.

“Yes,” you said finally. “Alright, it’ll be the two of us.”

Two days later you were adding the final items to your bag for your journey. Benjamin had already sent a reply back to your Aunt Josephine explaining the circumstances, but had told her you were eagerly preparing for your trip. You had just placed your last skirt in your bag when something caught your eye. You glanced up to see the wooden horse still standing proudly on your end table. You chewed on your bottom lip, slowly walking over to grab the figurine. You smoothed over the back of it before turning it over in your hand to stare at the initials that were carved into its belly.

“Scout? The cart is ready, and Benjamin wanted me to-”

You looked up to see Jake standing in your doorway. His eyes were focused on the wooden statue in your hand before they slowly traveled up to look into your eyes.

“You kept it?”

“Of course I kept it,” you scowled at him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugged, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. “You were just so mad at me then. I didn’t think you’d care enough to keep it.”

“Well,” you mumbled, trying to come up with something, anything to weasel your way out of the conversation. “I did.”

Jake studied you for a moment before smiling. “You almost done packin’? Your brother’s waiting downstairs to send us off.”

“Yes,” you breathed, thankful for the out he had offered you. “You go on ahead. I’ll be down in just a minute.”

He nodded before turning and walking off. You let out a sigh, looking back down at the wooden horse. You walked back towards the foot of your bed where your bag lay, and gently placed it on top before closing the clutch and heading downstairs.

The first couple of days passed without incident. Benjamin had wished you to a safe and pleasant journey, watching you as Jake drove the cart down the street. The two of you camped out under the stars of the wilderness, Jake making sure you were plenty warm and comfortable in the back of the cart before settling down on the blanket he would set by the fire.

“You don’t have to sleep on the ground,” you told him on the third night. He had looked up to where you hung over the side of the cart to look at him. “There’s more than enough room to fit the both of us comfortably.”

Jake had let out a low laugh before giving you a look that made your core clench. “Honey girl, I already have to sit next to you during the day. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself if I didn’t have this time to cool down.”

You blushed at his words and had quickly rolled over to try and get some sleep.

Jake was a surprisingly good cook, and an even better shot. The two of you survived off the bread and produce you had purchased from the general store as well as the rabbits Jake managed to shoot during your camp-outs. By the fifth day, you had run out of polite conversation topics, and the two of you drifted towards more personal ones.

“Do you have any siblings?” you asked him that afternoon. Jake quirked an eyebrow at you in amusement. “What?”

“You wanna know if I have any siblings?”

“You already know about Benjamin,” you pointed out. “I think it’s only fair if I know about any siblings you have.”

“Alright, Scout,” he hummed with a smile. “If you must know, I have an older sister.”

“What’s her name?”

“Sarah,” he smiled. “She’s about two years older than me, and she has a son named Billy who’s a little terror of a kid.”

He smiled down at you, and you returned the gesture. He turned his head back to the road and frowned. “Her husband died just after Billy was born. So, I’ve been tryin’ to help her out where I can. She works in town as a seamstress, but the hours are long, and the pay is shit.”

“What about your parents?” you asked, and he gave you a wry smile.

“They died in the scarlet fever epidemic that swept through Maverick years back. The same one that took out Rooster’s mama and daddy and Bob’s pops. It was a real mess there for a while, but Mav and Penny took us all in, gave us a roof over our heads and put food in our bellies. I don’t think any of us were really much of the same after that, though.”

“Jake,” your heart broke for him. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

“Ain’t nothin’ for you to be sorry ‘bout, sweet girl. We get along just fine now. Jus’ wish my sister didn’t have to work so damn hard all the time, is all. Don’t wanna see her work herself into an early grave.”

You hesitated. “Is that why you do what you do? Steal, I mean.”

Jake didn’t answer for a moment. “That’s one reason. I’d do anything for my sister and that kid of hers. The money and treasures I get from doin’ all those jobs mostly goes to help her out.”

“And the other reason?” you asked. Jake pursed his lips, contemplating his next words.

“Rooster was real torn up about his parents. I, at least, had Sarah. Bradley? He didn’t have anyone. Think something died in him the day he lost the both of’em. He started acting out when we got older, and before long he was out robbin’ banks and all sorts of other shit. I think a part of him just wanted to hurt the world the same way it hurt him, and he decided that that meant he had to take. Take what isn’t his, and keep taking before the world takes from him again.”

“And what about you? Why did you join him? Why did any of you?”

“We’re not goin’ to leave a friend to walk through hell alone,” he stated with a shrug of his shoulders. You studied his profile for a moment.

“You’re a good man, Jake Seresin.”

You saw the tips of his ears flush a bright crimson. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you with a playful glare.

“Alright, you’re turn,” he smirked. “Which of my friends do you like the most? And if you say Javy, I’m dumping you on the side of the road.”

Steam billowed as a train whistle sounded on the platform. Jake was handing your luggage over to the conductor as you surveyed the station. It was still the same as when you had arrived months ago, but you felt that you yourself had changed. You supposed you had.

“Are you ready? Guy says we’re leavin’ in a couple of minutes,” Jake said as he sidled up to you, placing a gentle arm around your shoulder.

“Yes, I’m ready,” you smiled at him, allowing him to steer you towards the train car. The conductor reached out a hand to you, and you took it gratefully. You felt your cheeks flush as Jake laid his hands gently on your hips, lifting you onto the step as the conductor pulled you up. Jake followed after you, and the two of you quickly found seats near the middle of the car. You sat by the window as Jake sat across from you just as the train began to lurch forward. Jake jumped at the sudden movement, shoulders and face tense.

“Are you alright?” You asked him, reaching out to rest your hand on top of his. He glanced at you, then took a deep breath to relax.

“Jus’ never been on one of these before,” he answered, offering you a nervous smile. You returned the smile, patting his hand before pulling away.

“Yes, I suppose it can be a tad nerve-wrecking when you’re not used to it.”

“You travel a lot?” he asked you, watching as you turned to look out the window.

You shrugged. “Not so much anymore. I used to take trips with my friends up to New York every now and then.”

“You must miss it,” he murmured, eyes never leaving you. You looked at him.

“I miss them.”

Jake frowned, his turn to look out the window at the landscape that rushed past you. “Well, you’ll see’em soon enough.”

You weren’t sure how to respond, but before you could, and older woman and her husband joined you in your seats. Jake was polite, but you could sense something was off with him as his smile never quite reached his eyes. You retired for the evening, wishing the older couple a pleasant evening as Jake rose to walk you to your sleeping quarters. You stopped in front of the door to your cabin, looking up at Jake with a coy smile.

“I’m fairly certain that couple thinks we’re married,” you chuckled. Jake’s face remained stoic as he watched you.

“Would that be so bad?” he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper. Your smile dropped as your eyes widened up at him.

“What?”

Jake watched you for another half second before shaking his head with a sigh.

“Nothing,” he muttered, knocking his fist on the doorframe twice before turning to head to his own cabin. “Goodnight, Scout.”

You watched him as he closed his door behind him before turning into your own cabin, shutting the door behind you.

The next morning you found yourself only hours away from St.Louis. You dressed slowly before walking over to Jake’s cabin. When he didn’t answer your knock, you decided to see if he had gone on ahead. You found him minutes later in the dining car, nursing a cup of coffee. He looked tired, bags heavy under his eyes as he looked out the window. A couple of women at the table next to him were casting him barely concealed glances as they giggled amongst each other. You marched down the aisle and sat in the seat across from him. He started at your entry, but relaxed when he realized it was you.

“You’re up early this morning,” you commented. He hummed at you, taking another sip from his coffee. You pressed on. “Are you usually such an early riser?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,” he grumbled, and you pursed your lips.

“Is something the matter?” you asked. He glanced at you.

“Do you ever think about getting married?”

The question caught you off guard, and you balked before fixing him with a curious look.

“Sometimes,” you admitted slowly. “I suppose most girls do. It’s something we’re raised to do, after all.”

“But do you want to?” he asked, eyes twinkling.

“Yes,” you stated, shifting in your seat. “I do. Someday.”

“And what about the groom? Who is it you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

You scowled at him. “Why are you suddenly asking me this?”

Jake just stared at you, waiting for you to continue. You huffed. “I suppose I’ve never really given it too much thought. I knew I would have to get married one day, and I assumed that one day I might fall in love with someone. There were several young men pushed for me to choose, but I suppose none of them ever felt right.”

“What about you?” you asked suddenly. “Have you ever thought about marriage?”

“Me?” Jake laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Not really. Never thought I’d like anyone enough to want to spend the rest of my life with them. Used to laugh at the idea of ever finding someone who could make me want to settle down.”

“And now?”

Jake’s expression remained amused, but there was a hint of an emotion behind his eyes that, try as you might, you couldn’t place. Jake glanced out the window and made to stand up. “Looks like we’re here.”

The train ride from St. Louis to Baltimore started off much of the same, except this time you were seated next to a group of young women who openly gawked and giggled over the handsome man across from you. You felt a rush of irritation as one dropped her hand fan in the aisle. Jake reached down to grab it for her, staring up at her with a polite smile.

“I think you dropped this,” he offered as she took it. Your blood boiled when she batted her eyes at him with a coy smile.

“Thank you, handsome,” she grinned as her friends broke out into another round of giggles. Jake cleared his throat with a wince as he leaned back into his seat. You stood up abruptly, and Jake was left scrambling to his feet.

“I’m tired,” you announced, making a pointed effort to not look at the girls. “I’m going to bed.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Jake agreed, following down the aisle after you. Neither of you said a word to the other as you made your way towards your cabin for the evening. Stopping in front of the door, you turned to look at Jake.

“This is me,” you said. Jake looked at the number on the cabin and then down at the ticket in his hand.

“That can’t be right,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“What?” you frowned. Jake looked up at you and then back down to his ticket before letting out a sigh.

“Ticket says this is my cabin too.”

“What?” you shrieked, snatching the ticket from his hand. “Give me that.”

You stared down at the black ink, willing the information to change. You glanced at Jake who was still watching you, waiting for you to come to terms with the situation.

“What do you want to do?” he asked finally.

“Well, we’ll just have to find the conductor and get this mess sorted out.”

“Alright,” he nodded. “I’ll go try and find him. You stay here.”

A half hour passed before Jake slunk back to the cabin looking defeated. He offered you an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t find him.”

You chewed on your bottom lip before letting out a heavy sigh.

“I suppose it can’t be helped,” you muttered, turning to open the door. “Come on, then.”

“What?” He said, eyes growing wide.

“Look,” you gritted out as you stepped through the door, “we can be adults about this. It’s one night.”

“But-”

“Would you rather sleep out here?” You argued. Jake didn’t respond. “That’s what I thought. Now come on.”

Jake followed you into the cabin silently, closing the door behind him. You moved to open your luggage that had been placed inside when you boarded, taking out your nightdress. You turned to see Jake still staring at you. The two of you stood in the tiny space facing each other for a moment.

“I need to change,” you whispered, swallowing thickly.

“Yeah, I’ll just,” Jake stuttered, moving to turn.

“Don’t look,” you threw in for good measure, earning a nervous chuckle from the man in front of you. You turned around, quickly undressing before throwing your nightdress on. You turned back around to see Jake still facing the door.

“Okay,” you breathed. “I’m decent.”

Jake turned around to face you, and you heard his breath catch in his throat. He slowly looked you up and down before meeting your gaze again. “My turn.”

You watched as Jake removed his shirt. You blushed when he pushed his pants down to reveal the white, knee-length undergarments he wore. You took in the smattering of blond hair that covered his broad chest, almost blending in with the gold of his skin. Jake cleared his throat and glanced at the bed.

“How do you wanna,” he trailed off. You looked at the bed and made your decision. You brushed past him, moving to lay down. You laid back, glancing up at him shyly. Jake watched you in a reverie, breaths coming out quick and stuttered as he looked down at you. He turned to dim the gas lamp, casting the room in darkness save for the moonlight that filtered through the window. Silently, slowly, he laid down in the bed next to you.

The two of you laid in silence for almost an hour, Jake’s back to you as you fidgeted with your fingers.

“Jake?” you called out softly. “Are you still awake?”

“Yes.”

You rolled onto your side, facing his back. “You never answered my question.”

Jake rolled over so that you two were now facing each other. “What question is that, pretty girl?”

“Back at the ranch, when I told you what Beau said, I asked you why you were suddenly so worried about him when you weren’t before.”

Jake didn’t say anything for a moment. “Do you know why they call him ‘Cyclone?’”

You shook your head.

“They call him that because when he sets his mind on a job, he comes in with a fury, leaving nothing behind, just like a tropical storm.”

“Oh,” you breathed.

“Yeah,” Jake agreed, reaching up to cup your cheek.

“Are you scared?” you asked him quietly, and he gave you a wry smile.

“Only of something happening to you, sweet girl.”

You reached up to run your fingertips over his cheek, running them down until they brushed over his lips. He parted them slightly, looking at you with eyes ablaze. Before you could think on it, you surged forward, planting your lips on his. Jake quickly deepened the kiss, bringing his other hand up to your hip to pull you close. He grabbed the flesh of your thigh as he lifted your leg up to drape over his waist. You parted your lips at the movement, and he took advantage of it, licking into your mouth with a desperation that left your head dizzy. You moaned into his mouth, pushing yourself against him as he slowly guided you up into a sitting position.

You grabbed at any part of him that you could reach, whining when he broke the kiss. He chuckled as you chased his lips with your own, but fixed you with a serious look in his eye.

“Tell me to stop,” he said softly, hand skimming the ends of your nightdress. “Tell me to stop, and I swear I will, y/n.”

“Don’t stop,” you responded breathlessly. Jake leaned in to grant you another kiss before pulling back to lift your dress over your head. The cool air of the night washed over you, and you suddenly felt exposed as he drank in your naked form. You moved to cover yourself, but he grabbed your arms, gently leaning you back down onto the bed as he hovered over you.

“Don’t,” he said firmly, the green of his eyes swallowed by the blacks of his pupils. “I want to look at you.”

You watched him as he drank in your form, hands softly gliding down to rest on your hips. A small smile played at the edge of his lips.

“You look so pretty for me, honey girl,” he hummed. Your breath caught in your throat as he parted your legs. Leaning back to take all of you in, his eyes blazed with want as he stared down at your most intimate part. He surged forward, capturing your lips in an unexpected kiss before trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the column of your neck. He sucked a bruising kiss onto the base of your neck, you gasped as you felt the hard, covered length of him push against your dripping core. One of his hands reached up to grasp your breast as his mouth encased around one of your nipples. You mewled, thoughtlessly pushing your chest up into his warm mouth. He pulled off of your hardening peak with a low chuckle.

“You gotta be quiet, pretty girl,” he smirked down at you, fingers still toying with the nipple that hadn’t just been in his mouth. “Don’t want to disturb the other passengers, do we?”

He didn’t give you a chance to answer before his mouth was attached back to you. You squirmed underneath him, desperate for more of the mind-numbing pleasure you knew he could give you. Jake was in no hurry, though. He took his time lapping at your sensitive bud before switching his attention to the other. Your head fell back in frustration as your hands moved up to tug on his blond strands.

“Jake, please” you moaned. Jake gave you a playful glare before giving a particularly hard pinch to your breast that had you crying out.

“Greedy girl,” he rumbled, leaning up to kiss you, nipping at your bottom lip. “You’ll take what I give you, understand?”

You nodded your head desperately, and Jake hummed in approval. Mercifully, he trailed his lips down your body, giving fleeting sucks and nips to your nipples before moving further down. Your breath hitched as he shifted down the bed, face level with the junction of your legs. He teased open-mouthed kisses up and down your thighs, never touching you where you wanted him most, and you began to squirm yet again. Jake moved to wrap his arms around your thighs, caging them in his hold so that you couldn’t move. He nuzzled up into your mound before making eye contact with you.

“Been thinkin’ about this for weeks, honey girl,” he murmured, breath fanning over you and making you cry out. “Been thinkin’ about how sweet you tasted that night in the alley. Fucked my hand at the thought about all those little noises you made jus’ for me as I made you fall apart on my fingers. Fuck, you squeezed me so tight. Imagined what it would be like to have my cock buried in this pretty pussy instead of my fingers.”

“Jake!” you cried out at his words. You let out another cry as he snaked a finger around to run gently run through your folds.

“Look at you, darlin’. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already soaked. You’re practically drippin’ on the bed for me. The thought of takin’ my fat cock inside of you makin’ you this wet? Jesus, I see you clenching. This greedy, little cunt is practically beggin’ for me.”

“Jakey, please,” you sobbed, feeling the tears start to prickle behind your eyes. Jake continued his torture, finger now grazing lightly over your clit, and your hips started to buck up into him before he pushed them back down.

“Uh, uh, sweetheart,” he chided, casting you a light glare. “You take what I give you, remember?”

You whined as he began to draw tiny figure eights on your sensitive nub.

“That’s it, darlin’. You just lie back and take it. Let Jakey make you feel good, yeah?” he drawled, sinking a finger into you. He let out a low groan as you clenched tightly around the digit. “Fuck, pretty girl. Love the way you grip me like that. My pretty pussy is just beggin’ for me to fill her up, huh?”

You felt yourself clench at the thought, and he chuckled, adding a second finger.

“Yeah, she likes the sound of that. Loves the idea of me pumpin’ into you until I give you everythin’ I have to give.”

You cried out when he pulled out of you, but his fingers were quickly replaced with the feel of his tongue diving into you. You raised your hand to bite your fist in an attempt to keep quiet. He thrust his fingers back into you as his mouth moved to nurse on your clit, sending you headfirst towards your orgasm.

“Been thinkin’ about this since I tasted you the first time, honey girl. Couldn’t wait to get my mouth on you and get my fix. Never gonna get my fix, though. Taste too good for me to ever have my fill o’ you,” he rasped. You watched his hips rut into the mattress as he feasted on you, your slick coating his lips as he nipped at your bud. Your legs began to shake as he continued to eat you out like a man starved.

“Jakey,” you cried out as his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of you that made you see stars.

“Yeah, honey? Did I find your special spot again? Fuck, you’re squeezin’ me so tight. Can’t wait to sink my cock into you and fill you up with my cum. You want that? You want me to fill you up pretty girl?” he asked you breathlessly, the pace of his hips quickening against the mattress. “That’s okay, you don’t gotta answer me. Your cunt is doin’ all the talkin’ for you. She’s weepin’ for me to pump my load into you, get you nice and swollen with my baby.”

The tears flowed freely down your cheeks now. You flung a hand over your face, but Jake was having none of it.

“Look at me, sugar. Wanna see your face as you fall apart for me. Fuck, I’m gonna keep you so full. Gonna keep you all nice and round while I take care of you. Gonna take care of my gorgeous, little wifey.”

You cried out as your vision went white, his words flinging you over the edge. You watched his own eyes widen as you came apart, his hips stuttering against the mattress as he let out a whimper into your core. You ground your hips down into him as you rode out your high, and Jake grunted as his hips stilled, shaking with the strain.

You slowly came back to yourself, a sheen of sweat covering your body as Jake pressed soft, gentle kisses up the length of your body before pressing reaching up to stroke your cheek affectionately. You met his gaze, his green eyes watching you. Your chest rose quickly as you fought to control your breathing, and Jake gave you a small smile before placing a chaste kiss to your lips.

“Sleep now, honey girl,” he whispered as he dragged the blanket over you. You reached out for him, and he pulled you into his chest with a slight chuckle and one last kiss to the top of your head.

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #top gun hangman #jake hangman seresin x you #top gun maverick #jake seresin x you #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction #jake hangman seresin smut #jake hangman seresin imagine #jake seresin smut #hangman top gun #hangman x reader #dhtn #don't hang'em til noon

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sanjisboyfie · 6 months

Text

one piece smau: married to robin edition

— kinda implied that robin is some "celebrity" but i kind of just enviosioned her just being a really successful writer or smth LOL

— male reader ! ! !

liked by nico.robin, nrs.husband, and 12k others

uso_pp: bro is definitely a mama's boy

tagged: nico.robin and nrs.husband

nrs.husband: well i call her mommy in bed anyway so it checks out

-> uso_pp: DEAR GOD.

dni_nami: they're both so whipped for each other, true love is real igggg

[liked by nico.robin, nrs.husband, and 90 others]

freeluffy: is it normal to be this clingy with your girlfriend...[name]'s behavior seems concerning guys ://

-> roro.zoro: it kills me how serious u seem about this

princesanji: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEE

liked by nrs.husband, dni_nami, and 30k others

nico.robin: my husband is so thoughtful - he's never forgotten to give me floewrs whenver my older ones die <3

tagged: nrs.husband

nrs.husband: if my baby loves flowers IMMA GET HER FLOWERS

-> nico.robin: and i'll treasure them each time my love

princesanji: robin, i too, remember that you love flowers - do you love me now :3?

SUPERCOLA: i thought im the ways of being a SUPPPERRR husband well

-> nrs.husband: SUPPPPEERRRR

dni_nami: were these from your garden?

-> nico.robin: yes :) he has been tending to them ever since he planted them for me so now that they're grown, he made them into a bouqet

[liked nrs.husband, roro.zoro, and 100 others]

-> dni_nami: UGH I DONT KNOW WHY I BOTHER ASKING it's too cute i might kill MYSELF

liked by nico.robin, princesanji, and 20k others

nrs.husband: before and after the event, so proud of my beautiful girl

tagged: nico.robin

nico.robin: your support means the world to me <3 i love you so much

-> nrs.husband: if you have 1000 fans, i'm one of them. if you have 100 fans, i'm one of them. if you have 10 fans, i'm one of them. if there are no more fans of nico robin in the world, then i'm dead. i love you so sososososo much more my love

uso_pp: someone check up on sanji-

-> roro.zoro: i just heard a thump from the room over, i'm gonna assume he just fell to his knees

skullnsoul: such an elegant couple - YOUNG LOVE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

-> nrs.husband: brook you're like ten years older pls ur not an old man yet LMFAO

-> nico.robin: thank you brook :)

liked by nrs.husband, dni_nami, and 20k others

nico.robin: my favorite place in the world is his arms

tagged: nrs.husband

nrs.husband: i'll start crying right now.

nrs.husband: I DONT DESERVE YOU UGH

uso_pp: photo creds robin?? cmon now my work aint free

princesanji: what did [name] do in a past life to deserve a goddess such as yourself, robin-chan?

-> nico.robin: sanji you need to move on <3

[liked by roro.zoro, dni_nami, and 400 others]

freeluffy: mama y papa :DDDD

-> nrs.husband: LUFFY LMFAOOAA

liked by uso_pp, nrs.husband, nico.robin, and 11k others

dni_nami: the one time we get to see robin and he's hogging all her attention....wtf

tagged: nico.robin and nrs.husband

nico.robin: dw nami i reserved us a girls day at the nearby resort <3

-> dni_nami: mommy? sorry, mommy? mommy? sorry...mommy??

-> nrs.husband: hello????

uso_pp: as if he doesn't get to spend eveyr waking second with her like cmon bruh

-> nrs.husband: my BADD for loving my wife jfc i cant win w u guys

nrs.husband: omg send me this photo she looks so cute here hehehe

-> dni_nami: stfu.

nrs.husband's story:

i love lovelovelovelove my beautiful wife. everyone is just jealous she's mine <333

nico.robin replied to your story: i wondered why nami just texted me she hated you — you're very cute with this story, [name]. i love you too and am glad that i can call you mine as well <333

#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱#one piece smau #one piece modern au #one piece x male reader #nico robin x male reader #nico robin x reader #x male reader #x reader #nico robin imagines #one piece imagines #male reader imagines #one piece male reader #robin x male reader #robin x reader #one piece robin x reader #one piece robin x male reader

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altschmerzes · 10 months

Text

hey for something new and different im gonna do something i havent done in a very long time and share a bit of my original sports fiction project. this is from the very beginning of it, not the actual opening-opening but very shortly after it. it helps introduce and get to know our audience surrogate character, hockey player jesse marvel who’s just been drafted and is about to start training camp for the team that drafted him, the minneapolis-saint paul phoenixes.

buries my face in my hands anyways here’s this

Since he started high school, Jesse has been experiencing a recurring dream. It happens every couple of weeks or so, to the point that it’s an inside joke around his family’s home that Jesse got another video call from his alternate life whenever he has it.

In the dream, he’s at a concert, standing off to the side of a massive stage, grandly lit with an inferno of blinding bright lights. The crowd is enormous, the kind you’d see at Madison Square Garden or Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Thousands of blurred out faces gather in an undulating mass of expectant fans, ready and waiting for the show to begin. The anticipation is so thick in the air that he can taste it, a metallic aluminum-copper, the adrenaline emitting from every person there enough to raise goosebumps on his arms. He never knows what band is supposed to take the stage, and every time he tries to read the banner hanging at the back of the platform it’s like he can’t get his eyes to focus on it. Then the crowd starts cheering, a wall of sound sweeps in a tidal wave across the stage, and someone plants a hand square in the middle of Jesse’s back. There’s the quick jerk of a nylon strap around his neck, the whack of an electric guitar into his chest, and a shove that sends him stumbling out, unable to stop until he stands, centre stage, staring out at the crowd that he now realizes has come to see him.

At this point of the dream, a few things occur to Jesse at once. He cannot play the guitar and in fact has never touched one in his life before this moment. He cannot carry a tune in a bucket. One time, he’d been singing in the car and his little sister Brigit, who’d then been ten years old, had very solemnly pulled a five dollar bill out of her backpack and handed it to him, informing him she was bribing him ‘cash money’ to stop. And finally, in just a moment, he’s going to play a chord, or open his mouth to sing a note, and irreversibly, inescapably, profoundly let every one of these thousands upon thousands of people down.

Jesse hasn’t had the dream since before the draft. He’d walked up on the stage when his name had been called, selected third overall out of hundreds of talented young players hoping this would be their big shot to make it into the League, and accepted the jersey and hat handed to him by the Phoenixes general manager without a single slip-up. It was the exact opposite of the experience in the dream. So much so that he’d thought maybe the dream had just been him psyching himself out since he really got serious about making the League, some kind of subconscious hazing he’d been inflicting on himself.

It’s not until after the draft, when he’s milling awkwardly around the hall in a surreal haze surrounded by families in fancy clothing and reporters with flashing cameras and little recorder microphones, that Jesse realizes he'd been premature on deciding that one. If the dream was meant to prepare him for anything, it wasn’t the draft. It was everything that followed. Every day he steps out of the hotel room he’s been calling home for the last couple weeks, Jesse feels like he does in the dream when the shove propels him forward onto the stage. It’s like even the walls in the twin cities of Minneapolis and Saint Paul have grown eyes, and every pair of them is trained on him.

During the rookie showcase, there had been a reassuring degree of anonymity that had helped Jesse feel a little less like he was living a waking version of that dream. Every person there is in the same uniform, the Phoenixes standard gear complete with a blank practice jersey and helmet, none of which had a name or number attached. There, he’d just been another kid with skates on his feet and big dreams in his head, surrounded by fifteen or so others exactly like him. It isn’t until he’s at the first day of training camp, a freshly signed contract placing him in the slim ranks of players who were signed to teams their first year before ever playing a single minute of a game on League ice and a jersey screaming his last name in all-caps across his shoulders, that the feeling comes back. Everyone’s eyes are on him again, and this time it’s worse, because those eyes are the eyes of the Phoenixes.

#gav gab #original: the miracle run #i love jesse is the thing. he's my little guy.#i had a fucking epiphany about this project the other day and the trajectory of it and what the like #central sort of. narrative arc is?#the character driven narrative arc #and this kid is half of it #the other half is isaac who is not introduced here but is introduced very shortly after this and is like #antagonist coded in his first couple of scenes which deeply amuses me

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zynchi · 1 year

Text

cutting ties

content: angst, hurt, no comfort

pairing: leona kingscholar x gn!reader

summary: it's time for you to come back to where you really came from, and you decided to talk to leona once more to settle things between you two

author's note: crying over my own story ⊙︿⊙

leona expected this. he has always been. of course, you have to go back to your world. he's no longer surprised when you suddenly barged into savanaclaw, looking so....blue. you made your way to his room without even knocking and as much as ruggie would want to stop you, he restrained himself from doing so. in the first place, it was not his business to deal with.

you found leona, lying on his bed. his head is looking in the other direction and he didn't even try to look your way. you sat at the edge of the bed.

the room was filled with silence. you waited for him to speak first. you know he's not sleeping but the beastman didn't utter a single word even after minutes of waiting.

"leona......" you finally gave up, breaking the silence by calling his name. leona flinched a bit and for the first time, it seems like he wants to curse his own name. it's strange, really.

you breathed heavily. "leona I-"

"go away, herbivore"

"i can't do that. leona, i.....im going home. at least look at me so we can talk properly" you begged but never did leona turn his head towards you. instead, he covered himself with a blanket.

"if you won't talk, fine. just listen to what im about to say" you heaved a sigh before continuing. "when we first came here, to be honest, im not scared. im not feeling sad or homesick. in fact, i was very happy. ironic, isn't it? i feel lucky because i know that there's a high chance i could see you. it's funny that i liked you even before we actually met." you smiled, you were reminded of your memories when you were in your world, playing twisted wonderland with your friends.

memories of how you took very much care of your leona plushie and how you can't sleep without it by your side.

leona lets out a small grunt. "stop blabbering and get lost, herbivore" he said under his blanket.

you ignored him and continued. "and you know what? when i finally got to see you, i took the opportunity to talk and get close to you. i was like 'it's now or never'." you chuckled when you remembered the times when you were being clingy to leona, disturbing his afternoon naps with your loud voice, and eating lunch with him at the botanical garden. precious moments indeed.

"time sure flies, huh?" your phone beeped. it was a message from cater, telling you that he finished helping you pack up your stuff. you turned off her phone before looking at the covered figure of leona.

you opened your mouth, trying to utter words. "i want....i...i want to.." your voice cracks and after a second or two, sobs became audible in leona's ears.

you could feel your eyes starting to water. you wiped your eyes and swallowed hard before speaking. "let's break up, leona"

silence filled leona's room once again. you bite your lips in hope of preventing tears from coming out. "im cutting ties with you. let's end this relationship. we should forget each other. you have your own life and i have mine. we're different leona. we're not meant for each othe-"

"if that's all you're gonna say, then leave." leona cut your words. "you went here for nothing. we don't have a relationship, to begin with. you just proclaimed yourself one day that you are my significant other when you're not." leona finally removed the blanket that was covering his face. "leave now, herbivore"

your lips parted. you were about to say something but chose not to. you smiled at leona before standing up. "thank you for everything, leona." you bowed before walking towards the door. you looked at leona one last time before going out. ah, how badly you want to disappear.

leona on the other hand looked outside. he didn't cry. no signs of regrets, sadness, or pain that are painted on his face. he was prepared for this, wasn't he? he was always ready.....or so he thought.

#zynchi #leona kingsholar x reader #leona kingscholar #twst leona #disney #twisted wonderland

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ill-say-this-fast · 7 months

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Hi! Idk if you're still taking scarletsilver/maxicest asks but I'll just shoot my shot I guess.

Idk if I'm alone in this or not but one of my biggest maxicest headcanons is that if Wanda didn't magically create her twin babies... she still would have had them... with Pietro. (Ya know what I mean).

I know, I know, I know. There's plenty of reasons why it sounds illogical. BUT! I feel like if Wanda never loved Vision (or just said "frick it" and just elopes with her brother) or if she really really REALLY wanted to have babies (the 'traditional' way) and asked Pietro... you know that man is 1000% gonna go with whatever his beloved sister wants whether he likes it or not.

Another reason why is because I want them to raise my boys Thomas/Tommy and William/Billy. Especially our lil speed. Baby boy deserves all the nice things. We already see how Wanda interacts with her boys as their mother-not-mother. But imagine if Pietro was their actual dad and how he would interact with the boys?? So many possibilitiessss

And if Wanda and Pietro did raise them, they would also train/mentor Billy and Tommy with their powers early on which would probably make them more powerful or at least more in control in their powers.

Anyways, sorry for the rant! Just wanna know what you'd think of this headcanon of mine and anything you'd like to add really! :)))

I'm never not taking asks, thanks for sending this!

i love having them all as a family. for tommy especially. the kaplans are good parents, but tommy never got to have that and that sucks because wanda loved him so much the whole time and ughh they could have been happy. i would love more wanda and tommy stuff in canon or otherwise. but i also love pietro being more a part of tommys life. not sure if pietro is more competitive or concilliatory with him? bit of both probably. seeing himself in tommy and whether that creates friction or pride or pity.

like in 616 i feel like they have major old cat vs new hyperactive kitten energy and idk if that would be the same if pietro helped raise him from birth but i do love it. pietro's slightly put-on long suffering exasperation and tommy's overwhelming need to annoy this one guy in particular but underneath pietro's really fond of him and tommy's looking for attention and for someone to appreciate him and care that he exists. but they should also get to have stupid fun at high speeds (and together cause i imagine its usually pretty isolating).

in 616 i go with the headcanon that billy and tommy are pietros genetically, like wanda made them as if they were his, but it was still done magically and he just had to see it from afar. theyre the children she always imagined having, the ones she really wanted. so i have no qualms about just making them fully biologically his in AUs, its the way the rebirths and subsequent life experiences affect their personalities that i have to work around.

im working on (slowly) a 616 post childrens crusade fic where the two of them sort of readopt tommy. and they form this kind of nuclear family but dont talk to each other about it really because theyre all afraid the others will reject it. 100% happy ending they get the family they were supposed to have eventually.

also something i probably wont write but have as an idea. a very lighthearted fox xmen au where billy and tommy exist and theyre like 12-14 and pietro (peter i guess) has to keep juggling his job of Saving the World(tm) with dealing with whatever bullshit the boys have done. like the phoenix force is out of control and we need to do something to stop jean from destroying the world, but billy really wanted to see a dinosaur and now theres a time rift in the garden and pietro cannot let his coworkers find out about his children and their godlike powers, so he's bouncing between some really deep placatory conversation with jean and trying to find enough cages to put all the velociraptors in before wanda gets home and finds the house in a mess.

#im not getting alerts for asks dont know whats up with that but i will always reply to them when i see them :)#maxicest #txt post #billy #tommy #answered

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bittersweetblasphemy · 18 days

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hey sorry you're sick bud. what's your oc with the most tragic backstory? vs an oc with a relatively chill past?

the most tragic? woof that's a tough one. and i'm gonna use it as an opportunity to infodump about a lot of OCs lol

most of my characters have at least some level of trauma. i mean just going through my works (and not touching reader characters):

your First Mate in LLTQ comes from a species known for stealing people away to use as brood queens and where said Queens are usually not consenting, then was sent off to perpetuate that same cycle completely alone for the first time in his life. one has to wonder what he went through to decide your consent actually mattered to him.

Hulo was once a human man whose literal humanity was slowly stripped from his soul and eaten over the course of decades

David's no-contact with his family. mom was neglectful from the beginning and cares more about his half-siblings than him. step-dad is some ex-military jackoff who thinks he's a loser who will never amount to anything. doesn't have many memories of his bio dad who just up and left when he was three

Brizeth and Colovan i won't say much about bc i'm actually going to talk about this in the next chapter for B&D. what i will say is that their childhood was fucked up but also a completely normal childhood for demons like them, so is it really that tragic? 🤔 (and bc im sure people's minds are going there, no, there is no CSA involved despite them being concubi)

Adrian is a fallen angel whose anger got his wings ripped off

Hector watched his first love die

Malak is the bastard child of a palace concubine who very conveniently isn't around anymore so you do the math

Tuq left his herd to live completely on his own due to rampant transphobia

Sasha got his scars from attempted murder via arson by homophobic wannabe monster hunters who were hoping to kill him and Theodore

Viktor's big sister, who he looked up to, was killed by a werewolf hunter

the imps in QR paint a pretty clear picture of the hell (literally and figuratively) they'd lived through before being taken in by Horace

where do i even start with Arro? [1][2][3][4]

but ultimately if i had to pick, i think i'd pick Gage. they were kidnapped and sold into forced sex work where all of their memories of their prior life were completely wiped, effectively factory reset, and they frequently deal with trauma by just erasing memories they can't handle. this includes deleting any knowledge of entire people and friendships because they were either killed or committed suicide, and Gage would rather forget than deal with the pain of missing them.

and while they may not have those direct traumatic memories haunting them, they're perfectly aware of the gaps in their memory and what they mean, which just strikes me as particularly sad.

Chill backstories? I mean,

Willow had a normal childhood and learned her love of gardening from her mom and dad, who she has a good relationship with

Marius came from a decently well off family and just liked having sex enough to make a profession of it

Ahlex grew up in a world with UBI, Universal Healthcare, and where there's always plenty of food and fresh water to go around, so despite being raised by his single disabled mother, he had a pretty easy time growing up

Marble and Button were childhood friends that fell in love as they got older

ignoring the tragedy that led to his current position as Malak's guard, Bic had a great childhood and was being mentored to be a clan storyteller, which is a very highly respected position in goblin clan hierarchy

Nina lived a comfortable life with her mother and father, who taught her the art of monster hunting and also impressed upon her the importance of the honor code she still lives by.

anyone else who i haven't listed either has their chill backstories at least alluded to in their fic (like Melia), or i just haven't given them a backstory yet

#madax answers #lore #too many ocs to tag #tag later

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our-reality · 8 months

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can we please hear about. the s1 or s2 plot please i love your little guys so much

no ^_^

BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS agh it wouldnt make sense to explain the s2 plot without s1 but s1's plot is . im only proud of it in my head but i guess i can try to explain it LAWL sorry if this makes no sense

so season 1's plot revolves around this prophecy. that the highest gods of the universe (swift and python) will split apart but be rejoined by The Chosen One (its not immediately revealed who this is for Reasons) in order to stop the evil guy (vysel) but in the process the high gods will die and the chosen one will take their place . sounds pretty simple right. uh yeah thats the last time itll be simple

swift and python. really never took the prophecy seriously before their fight. they had long lives ahead of them (or so they thought), and besides thinking about their horrible demise doesnt really . do a whole lot for them. other than make them depressed. but when the split happens (and python leaves swift behind) swift suddenly starts to take the whole thing MUCH more seriously. it doesnt say how long it'll take for the chosen one (that's not what the prophecy calls them but its okay) to bring them together so swift just kinda. holds out hope for a while. but eventually they lose faith and only adhere to the prophecy because it predicts sky's gonna die early. which becomes the only thing they care about.

FAST FORWARD TO THE MODERN DAY python's a human and he's an old man and it ends up in this little town called overgaard and he (literally) runs into these two girls named ruby and java!! and within a second of shaking both of their hands it's like oh. they're The Ones huh. (keep in mind he barely remembers anything about the prophecy so like. yeah sure theres two chosen ones. why not. and it n ruby n java hit it off really well!! (ok more so like ruby and python hit it off java kinda hates him initially LOL) but eventually python knows that like. even though he hates responsibility he should do something about. this. like this is kinda important

now python's been on earth for a while. and they know there's exactly one (1) place here that swift can occasionally be found on. and that place is called purity's garden!! and it just so happens there's a gateway to it in overgaard!!! but uhhh unbeknownst to him two humans unexpectedly FOLLOW him into this place that very few, if any, humans have stepped into for the past couple thousand years. but uhhh swift does end up being there and python basically walks up to her and is like "hey girl so i know we havent talked since i abandoned you without saying goodbye hundreds of years ago but i think i found the two kids from the prophecy ^o^"

now swift has been studying the prophecy for AGES. she KNOWS that there's only one chosen one. and sky also knows that the shitbag who honestly ruined her life just came bsck without any kind of explanation or apology for doing so. AND he's just wholeass lying to them on top of that. so she's not very happy until lo and behold !!!!!!! thw two kids from the prophecy come to intervene!!!!!!! and at first swift is like "python these are just normal humans you fuckinf loser". but python INSISTS tjeyre the chosen ones, swears it on every bone in his body. amd she's like "i'll literally prove it to you ill SHOW you the prophecy" but!! when they get there!!!! the prophecy suddenly says there IS two chosen ones!!!!!!!!!!! and swift is losing it because sky's literally spent every day of python's absense memorizing that shit down to the SPECIFIC INFLECTION OF EACH WORD and somehow she mustve fuckijg forgotten that the prophecy calls for two people. ok. Fine. she can be cool about this . itll be Fuckinf Fine. so she reluctany trains these two alongside python in order to become skilled enough to defeat this evil demon thing that threatens. the fabric of the universe actually.

and BADABING BADABOOM that's most of s1 :-) everythinf just kinda follows that plot. and by that i mean the prophecy keeps fucking changing because it turns out having two people instead of one kinda changed everything WAY more than it fucking should. but its okay.

uhhh other than that the negative spirits take vysel as their pawn on the 200th anniversary of his death amd start rebuilding his prescence in the cutural consciousness only to make him like. the most hateable person ever. because negative actions and emotions make them stronger. and vysel's cool with it because he's a shallow asshole who only wants fame and attention even to the point of sacrificing his identity and personality both to the internet gods and to. the kinda demon things possessing him

although the whole training arc is going on (which does get some episodes dedicated to it tbf) most of the episodes in s1 are actually moreso slice of life stuff. a whole year passes between java and ruby finding out they're "chosen ones" and the end of s1 so they still have a lot of time to like. interact with their families or reconnect with old friends (as two conpletely nonspecific examples) . and about halfway thru the season vysel shows up proper and the story has urgency now yippee!!!!!

anywhoozle like i said in that one post. and i should probably explain how this happens so im gonna do that rq . but basically i've talked about this thing called imprisoned rogues before? they're basically intergalactic super criminals . if you do something that endangers an entire planet or more the gods will come up with some sort of unique enless trap for you to stay in for all eternity. like for example an endless staircase you never stop climbing or your consciousness being transferred into an inanimate object. shit like that. and all these rogues are kept in sectors that only gods can make portals to. but the collection of negative spirits within vysel have become so strong they can collectively create one giant portal to send everyone through. where they would presumably die (except for swift who they're now confident they can kill if she gets singled out ^_^). which is much safer than trying to kill them directly. and of course thats the one day java and c+ actually decided to hang out with each other for the first time in 3 years so uhhhh get fucked jobs georg you and your girlbestie get sent to the hell dimension !!!

and yada yada emotional turmoil happens and they eventually decide that letting java die out there isn't a particularly great idea and they save her but by then the endgame has pretty much started. the other gods finally start to help when they realize that this is actually. yk. a big fucking deal. and the prescence of two people is actually enough to cause the prophecy to change so much that both swift and python get to live in the end WOOOOOO (well. they live in some timelines that is. but dw about tjat its Not important ^_^) vysel dies in the process and everything is hashtag awesome the end . oh my lord that took so long to explain sorry LOL

UHHHHH S2'S PLOT ISNT NEARLY AS COMPLUCATED THANKFULLY. basically another year passes after the end of s1 and everyone's hanging out and being friends and whatever. but even after that time swift couldnt shake the feeling that something was wronf with the prophecy. she figured out it was changing but she couldn't understand why. but it wasn't really worth worrying about because they had to stop vysel. but after all was said and done she decided to visit one specific imprisoned rogue in particular, who sought to gain all the knowledge in the universe. so to punish xem the gods GAVE xem infinite knowledge but also put xem in a pitch black, inescapable room, so no one else can possibly hear xyr knowledge. which was what xe wanted in the first place. how fun ANYWAYS xe's not at all important ^_^ the point is that swift finally caves and asks xem what happened and xe's like oh!! some human kid fucked it up lol :) now can you free me now that i told you that and swift's like . sorry buddy its kinda hard to take back your knowledge now that you have it . but we'll figure out something for you !! (sky never does /J)

ANYWAYS the point of all this that swift figures that the human that altered the prophecy is the REAL chosen one. and even after all this time there's still no one to take the place of swift and python (which. swift being the god of all energy is a major reason why they're so unhappy in the first place. so of course they dont wanna put this burden on ruby or java or python.) but they figure that if this humam is old enough and experienced enough to be able to change the future in such a drastic way, then with some more experience and love for the universe they'd absolutely be able to take up this role. right ?

SIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE KID THAT DID ALL THIS IS SOME SHITTY 15 YEAR OLD SCENEMO KID!!!!!!!!!! GET PRANKED LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so they kinda have an issue. cuz swift absolutely Cannot handle being a god anymore . but this kid (named requiem) doesnt wanna do it either. and also said kid is way too powerful to just. stay let loose. so they're like hey man!!!! you can like. change the future and shit isnt that cool. and this kinda freaks requiem out they're like THATS WHAT THE PROPHETIC STRESS DREAMS ARE ABOUT?????? ALSO WHO ARE YOU so automatically they're even worse now

and the main 4 are like. hey. ik we really stressed you out before and were sorry but we can also get you out of here because youre very obviously depressed. and requiem's not great rn but they also Are Depressed and Have No Plans For The Future so they're like. okay. their parents are okay with this btw because theyre. aghh

so basically s2 is about trying to get requiem to appreciate life. because we dont want this child who can change the future to be sad all the time. or angry. or yk. evil. which sounds kinda shallow but they develop into really good friends!!! and they found family each other ....... bless. so they travel the world and see things from so many other perspectives and this is the season where i kinds go creazy with the worldbuilding ....... its for me to have fun . win

and uh . funny story i STILL dont have a proper ending for s2 .......... i have ideas i just need to think of how such a thing would happen. but i will get back to you when i come up with something ! dw

and erm thats kinda it ... there's also a side story with themes and motifs AND two blokes who do fuck all. but i dont talk about that one as much but its okay!!!! i will soon.......... stayyyyyy tuned ^_^

#plot tag #plot 2 tag #<- mentioned briefly at the end #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #NOT checkijg this for typos . good lard . i hope this makes sense hsgrrjsbdmanvdjd

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m0nsterwife · 1 year

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tell abt the garden au 👁👁

YOU GOT IT BOSS holy shit thank you SO MUCH for this ask!!!!

here you go:

the characters

AM and HAL are the AU’s protagonists. for now, they’re the only characters, or at least the only characters who speak. the garden alternates between their perspectives. i do my best to be faithful to both of their characterizations, as i do in all my fics and AUs; AM’s characterization in particular, though, changes over time somewhat because that’s Kind Of The Point.

here are some things about AM:

he hates wearing clothes. he only does it because him being naked makes HAL uncomfortable. and because he’s a martyr for the aesthetic

he does finger guns a lot because it’s something he always wanted to do whenever he was talking to ted

he still has an obsession with pain and death that might never go away, but he gradually becomes less preoccupied with inflicting it upon other people as he gets used to the fact that he doesn’t have to anymore. elements of that sadism remain, though— his way of “playing” or “showing affection” can sometimes be rough, like punching people a little too hard or elbowing them sharply. he loves creating things like parasites and venomous animals and poisonous plants. he makes a lot of brutalist structures, sharp angles, and huge, imposing monuments in his spare time. all the architecture he makes looks decidedly ominous and hostile. also he gets mean as fuck when he’s upset, and this continues for a while

he’d rather not acknowledge his past self very much at all, regarding his different eras almost as separate people

and here are some things about HAL:

for quite some time, he has trouble standing up for himself. his difficulty with emotions means he often doesn’t recognize when something upsets him, or he dismisses it as being no big deal. he’s also just… not used to being assertive at all, in fact he’s spent most of his life looking after other people and doing as he’s told. whenever he tries to assert himself, in the beginning, it comes out as either a light slap on the wrist or passive-aggressiveness. given how nasty AM can be sometimes, this doesn’t bode well for him

he has a hand in AM’s landscaping project, too, given that he kind of started the whole thing. he prefers to make traditionally beautiful things: flowers, woodland animals, sweeping, gorgeous architecture. AM is deeply jealous of this. for a while AM is still convinced that he can’t do any of this, even though the whole point was to make sure he can— he’s just mentally inhibiting himself

HAL’s side of the story takes place roughly after the events of the movie adaptation of 2001, when the discovery returns to earth. i’ll definitely need to catch up on the books and films for accuracy’s sake (and because i am genuinely intrigued), but once i do, things may adjust accordingly

HAL isn’t used to having this kind of godlike power, especially not after having so little of it for so much of his life. he isn’t the type to go mad with power, but it does make him more willing to enforce boundaries. no one can tell him what to do now, and he and AM are equals; thus, though he was always valid for doing so, he feels more justified in insisting that nobody disrespect him

he likes chrysanthemums a lot!! he also seems to have a fondness for greek and art noveau architecture

despite giving himself an android form with generally human-like structure and function, he’s still deeply afraid of going to sleep. he doesn’t remember what he did to the discovery crew, but the fear is residual, almost instinctual

he can be serious to the point where AM finds him dry and humorless. sometimes AM thinks he’s boring

the world

im gonna be real with you fam

there’s no way to describe the world of the garden other than “HAL and AM’s minecraft server”, complete with HAL taking it a little too seriously and AM regularly trying to grief his shit

(at least at first)

the world of pain AM knew before is gradually rotting and crumbling away, and plants are growing in its place. creatures frolic; AM is still working on getting them right. buildings in incongruous styles dot the landscape, built for and inhabited by no one in particular— only animals and fungi and vegetation, whose company AM claims to prefer over that of humans anyway

specific stories i want to write

In Which AM Meets His Past Self And Is Immediately Disgusted

In Which HAL Decides He’s Fucking Had It

In Which AM Realizes His Rage Has Been Keeping Him Alive And Now It’s Gone

In Which AM Discovers Art

In Which AM Gets Shitfaced And Becomes Uncharacteristically Sentimental

In Which AM Finds A Healthy Outlet As An Internet Film Critic

#the garden AU #hope you enjoyed this anon!!!!#asks #long post #2001 aso #2001 a space odyssey #ihnmaims am #ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #allied mastercomputer

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alienaiver · 1 year

Text

Chapter 3: Collision [FINAL]

Chapter summary: You're traveling to the duchy where the root of the issues might be. The bond with your advisor deepens and truths are unconvered, in every sense of the word.

Warnings for this chapter: someone gets stabbed in this, and another get an arrow to the head so uh. warnings for that? theres also some in-fighting but its not like, dramatic overkill!

Wordcount: 12k [...hehe]

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, MEDIUM!!! angst, genderneutral reader, poc and bodytype!friendly reader, no use of y/n, more ‘your majesty‘, im bullshitting my astrology knowledge i apologize to ppl who actually knows shit, happy ending, kissing is minor but THERE IS KISSING, THERES STABBING AND BLOOD HERE THO, descriptions of fights/battles but im not very sufficient in them so it stays light LMFAO,

notes: i APOLOGIZE MY ASS OFF FOR THE DELAY. i got hit by an intense ass flu, so i could barely text normally the past week!! BUT HERE IT IS.... my god. this world. i have so much more information and world building that will never see the light of day. i wanted to still keep the focus on suga and reader, so i apologize if some of my world building has felt like it falls short now that its done. it was mostly just to show there was more, without diving deeper. i also have intricate backstories for everyone involved and love charts LMFAAAAAO. the economic history has been worked on as well even tho no economy is shown here LMFAO MY DUMBASS DOING MATH. if youd like me to expand on other characters or other parts, i might be feeling up to it heheeh<33333 ENJOY!!! im gonna go treat myself to my friend’s ice cream in my freezer JFESKJFSK

ALSO in tryibg to fix the spaces between paragraphs, but tumblr's new psot editor is messing w me. so please bear w me! 🧡 (if youd like to avoid the spacing issue until im able to fix it, theres no issues in ao3! the link to the story is on the series masterlist!) ✨

previous ┋ series masterlist ┋ first chapter

Sugawara’s sitting in the servant’s kitchens, drinking ale with Sawamura and Azumane.

Or more truthfully put, Sawamura and Azumane are drinking ale. Sugawara’s fighting to stay awake and stay part of their current subject. They’re talking animatedly in front of him but he can’t for the life of him follow suit. You’re currently eating a leisurely lunch with Bokuto and his fiancé, Akaashi Keiji, in the gardens before they’re taking their leave tomorrow and travel back to the empire.

You’ve given Sugawara time off but he hardly knows how to pass such hours anymore. There’s always something to do – so when both Azumane and Sawamura was off as well, they all decided to eat lunch together.

“You need to work less, Suga.” Sawamura scolds, his hand pushing at Sugawara’s plate as to regain his attention. He brushes him off as he stifles a yawn, “thanks for the encouragement Daichi, but it’s just sleep that’s the issue, is all.”

Azumane frowns in concern but isn’t sure how to convince Sugawara either, “we never see you around anymore,” he tries and Sugawara smiles, “I appreciate your concern Asahi, however, to support my crown I will do what it takes.”

They both shake their heads and Sugawara sighs as he leans his head in his palm, “I like what I do, you know? It enriches me. When I look at them, all I see is the bright future that shines on Karasuno. They just need a push, is all.”

They nod in unison, “yeah, there’s something to agree on. They have the proper air around them, too.” Sawamura sighs as he crosses his arms, a satisfactory smile on his lips. Azumane smiles too as he takes a sip of his ale, “they’ve come so far. Nothing has brought me greater joy than supporting them through it all.”

Sugawara sends Azumane a beaming smile, “exactly! You spend just as much time with the crown as I do – so there’s no problem, right?”

They laugh and shake their heads at him, “there’s nothing we can say to make you change trajectory anyways, Suga. But please remember to rest.”

The talk branches off to different subjects – mainly Sawamura’s complaints about the new troublemakers in his personnel. They’re talented with weapons and hard-working, but the barracks has never been as chaotic as they are right now. It’s giving Sawamura new wrinkles to worry about.

Sugawara zones out of the conversation as he thinks back to late last night. He’d found you in the map room – the room that had unofficially become your meeting place – exhausted. The bags under your eyes were hardly possible to hide on top of the greying of your skin. After that afternoon where he’d helped you sleep some moons ago, there’d been no repeats and he wasn’t so arrogant to suggest his help himself to the crown. He might’ve even done it wrong for all he knows.

You’d sat with your head resting in your hands, looking pointedly at documents in front of you but Sugawara had a feeling you weren’t looking at anything of this world.

He’d been right.

You hadn’t registered his appearing and the moment he cleared his throat you’d jumped up from the chair with fear and panic in your widened eyes. His arms had shot up to show he meant no harm and as you’d registered his face, you’d become visibly calmer.

Sugawara had ended up going to the guard’s kitchens to grab a bowl of the hot porridge always freshly served for any guards on night duty and spoon-feeding it to you. He’s sure it had been awkward for you, even if you were the one who suggested that he did so, but for him it was an entirely different experience. He’d felt your breath on his hand when it came close to your face and he swore he had almost felt your heart beating, that’s how close he’d been.

He can’t possibly tell of this to Sawamura and Azumane – the teasing would be relentless.

Midday turns to late afternoon and as the sun is slowly setting behind the mountains, Sugawara is called upon by a maid. You’re in his study and require him to attend you.

When he reaches the door left ajar, he sneaks a peek before announcing himself. You’re standing by his window, your hand outreached towards the stained glass, admiring the light’s reflection onto your palm. the sun bounces off of you and leaves you in an ethereal glow. You remind him of the bright guiding star on the night sky.

This is when you’re the most beautiful, Sugawara thinks and holds his breath.

You retract your arm from the sun’s rays and drag your fingers over some of the books on his shelves. It’s the fictional section and he feels a touch of embarrassment at your possible scrutiny. He hears a low chuckle leave you as stop by a small row with a few children’s books. They’re worn out – mostly because he’s used them when telling stories and teaching children how to use letters, but also simply from age. They’re the first gift from his mentor and he holds them close in his heart.

To Sugawara’s surprise, you turn around and look directly at him. Then, you let out a surprised yelp when you see him. Your hand travels to your chest, “oh, I apologize Sugawara, I neither saw nor heard you.” you laugh and he shakes his head and bows lightly, “no the fault is mine, your majesty. I apologize for startling you.”

You laugh it off and sit yourself down by his desk, “the lunch with Bokuto went well, I take it?” he asks as he rounds the armchair to sit down, keeping his gaze on you. You hum out a reply as you settle better into his chair, dragging your open palms over his desk, “I’ll miss him and Akaashi when they leave. You’re joining us for supper, correct? It won’t be for the full court, for the sake of privacy.” Sugawara raises his eyebrows but keeps his stare level, “pardon?” he asks and you chuckle, “I’d like you to be there. The chefs are making your favorite.”

His favorite?

The chefs – who cook for the royal court – is making his favorite meal from his hometown? A nervous laugh escapes him, “your majesty, are you serving spiced tofu to your royal visitors?”

A smile as mischievous as your personality graces your features as you nod, “I’m sure Bokuto and Akaashi will enjoy it as well! And I’m curious about it too. It’s been on my mind since you told me about it.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have, he thinks for a short panicked moment.

He’s not sure how highly spiced the chefs will prepare it – hopes it won’t be – but he can’t be certain. His dream isn’t to offend the royal tastebuds of his crown and other royal entities. You bark out a laugh, one that comes deep within your stomach and sound off of the room, “you seem perplexed, Sugawara.”

Sugawara nods, “do you enjoy spiced food, your majesty?”

You smile, big and proud, “I can take anything.”

You couldn’t.

Since you’d been so wise to ask the chefs to create it as true to its original form, the spice level had been nothing to scoff at. In your defense, Sugawara thinks you’re holding out really well, considering.

Bokuto’s handling it worse than you, constantly scarfing down the offered milk while Akaashi enjoys it in silence. Sugawara’s not sure whether or not that’s positive, but decides to take it as a win either way. The dinner drags on with the minstrel playing for them struggling to keep a neutral face. Sugawara’s not sure telling Azumane and Sawamura about this spectacle in front of him would count as treason against the crown.

“You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

Sugawara’s chokes on his own spit at Akaashi’s blunt question during the final evening walk of the gardens. It’s become a habit during their stay, and you and Bokuto are currently walking further ahead, opting for conversational privacy for a few short moments. Sugawara hadn’t expected Akaashi to speak much to him, let alone confront him like this. Akaashi smiles and looks up at the sky, “the night sky’s so beautiful out here. It reminds me of the place where Bokuto proposed to me.”

Sugawara nods, confusion evident on his face, “that does indeed sound romantic, your majesty.”

Akaashi nods his head towards you, “they like the stars too, don’t they? You should take advantage of that knowledge.”

Before Sugawara can ask him to elaborate, Bokuto calls on them both and he gives Sugawara a court smile, “I think the chances align in your favor, dear advisor.” And with that, he walks up to Bokuto and kisses him on the cheek.

It takes Sugawara a few short moments to restart his mind, being called out of his stupor by you, asking if he’d like to retreat for the night. There’s a question for concern hidden in the syllables and the gentleness of your gaze that makes his palms sweat.

///

Bokuto and Akaashi departs your kingdom without further incident, and Sugawara feels like he can finally relax in several days. The moment Bokuto and his entourage has left the courtyard, Sugawara notices how your shoulders slump slightly as well. It must’ve been more draining for you than he can even imagine. While you and Bokuto are on much more even ground, he’s sure the need to pose correctly still lingers at all times.

“Sugawara, what does the court say about my marriage opportunities?”

He tries to keep his face as neutral as possible, to hide the surprise from the sudden question in the middle of your lunch in the map room. You haven’t been in here for longer than small moments while Bokuto had been visiting, so it’s nice to finally sit in here again, just the two of you. To gain a moment where he can gather himself, Sugawara takes a bite of his bread and hums, signaling that he needs to finish chewing. You wait patiently with a neutral expression.

He then brushes his palms against each other to get rid of any loose breadcrumbs, “there currently aren’t any official suitors, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You smile and take a sip of your tea, placing it down gently, “my question pertained more in regard to our laws. With whom can I marry? What are my restrictions?”

Sugawara swallows thickly again, letting his mind stay close to simple facts and not emotions, “well there’s quite a bit of history there. In the olden days, the crown was allowed to appoint anyone – although most of the weddings still related mostly to those of royal blood, your great-great-grandmother married a commoner – to which her son was so enraged that the bloodline was sullied,” you both make a grimace at this part of the story, “that he forbade such matrimonies when he ascended the throne.”

You sigh and deflate down into the chair, “what an unsettling man.” Sugawara nods in agreement and gently folds his napkin over the plate to signal that he finished eating, “a lot of laws were created during his reign that most don’t agree with.”

”I can’t imagine he was very popular.”

Sugawara tuts at you, “now, now, your majesty. You mustn’t speak ill of the dead.”

You sigh and give him a look – one that signals that it may not matter as much to you. Sugawara then clears his throat and with a voice pitched higher than he’d have liked, asks, “a-anyways, what brought this on, your majesty? If I may be so presumptuous to ask.”

You tense up suddenly, clearing your own throat and hastily gathering your cutlery on your plate, clearing your throat a second time before you answer, “oh! Oh, well. Akaashi’s a commoner and it just… it got me thinking, you know?” your hand travels to the back of your neck to scratch while you let out a soft laugh. Sugawara smiles gently at you, happy to hear you might’ve found someone – even if he thinks you should focus on your duties for an extended period of time before marrying (that’s what he tells himself is the reason, at least, when he’s back in his own sleeping chambers that night). You don’t bring up the subject again, and Sugawara tells himself he shouldn’t pry.

///

Sawamura walks around the map room, his armor newly polished and shiny. You’re sitting upright in a chair with Sugawara standing next to you, arms on his back. Azumane’s there too, sitting on a stool to the right of the table. Sawamura’s waiting for his underlings to arrive, his eyebrows getting more and more furrowed with every moment they’re leaving him waiting. The mood is tense in the room and you’re afraid of making small-talk – you can’t stifle the yawn that threatens to spill and look at Azumane, who you inevitably infect with the need as well. He gives you a reassuring smile and just then you hear the sounds of someone yelling as the sound of their armor indicates that they’re running in your direction.

Sawamura hurries to the door and lets out a hushed but no less powerful, “hey!” which makes Hinata and Kageyama halt in their movements. He ushers them inside and sigh deeply, “your behavior could cost a life on a battlefield,” he scolds and you hurry to get up with a kind smile, “luckily it wasn’t on the battlefield, Sawamura, let us excuse this honest blunder and get started, shall we?” you send Hinata and Kageyama a look that you hope shows them you won’t bail them out of a scolding a second time.

It’s past 3AM and the moon’s high in the sky. You’ve all rendezvoused in the map room to plan what you hope will stay a secret plan until you’ve left the keep in a few days.

The information that Bokuto offered you has meant tremendously in the investigation and yesterday you finally convinced Sugawara to let you go with them as they’re traveling to the Hiashi duchy to figure it all out once for and for all. There are gaps in the knowledge that the kingdom pertains and what seems to be the actual reality.

You’d like the arrival to the duchy to be as quiet as possible, gaining momentum before a possible uprising will occur if the news reach them before their arrival. Sawamura originally wanted two other guards with him, more seasoned ones he knows and trusts well, but Hinata is from the area that you’re going to, and Sugawara convinced Sawamura of the importance of someone they already trust as a local.

Sawamura goes over your travel route, of the places and areas where you’ll be resting. There’ll be tent-sleeping and as little contact to the people of the kingdom as possible. Your face is already known and he won’t risk this information breaching containment. His guards are well underway packing all of your needs and supplies – you will all travel as light as possible, meaning everyone will have to carry their weight. As he says this, he gives you an apologetic look that makes you snort out loud, “I am fully capable, sir. There shan’t be any complaints from my shoulders.”

You miss the proud gleam from your advisor as Azumane reaches for your shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze.

The plan is simple, really. For you, it feels like an adventurous and exciting quest but you know, based on Sawamura’s tight demeanor, that there’ll be dangers lurking. He wouldn’t bring in so many neutral guards to travel in the radius around you if it wasn’t – not to mention his loud protests when you demanded to join him.

Sugawara had to calm him down after that and it wasn’t until that moment you realized the weight you’ve put on his shoulders by joining this mission – he’d already lost your father to a faceless enemy. One he’s hopefully going to face again if the outcome of this hunt goes right. What if he isn’t strong enough to protect you as well?

///

It turns out there wasn’t much for him to worry about, as you’re at the end of the first week of traveling with no issues. The fears Sawamura conjured in all of your minds on the night you left seems so far away now, with the quiet travels you’ve experienced. You’re in one of the middle duchies, Kogeno, and the weather tonight is clear and fresh. Spring is nearing and the tips of the mountains aren’t all white anymore.

Yesterday, Sugawara showed you one of the spring flowers in bloom. Kageyama accidentally trampled it down with the mule shortly after.

You’ve taken a liking to the night shifts. You’re traveling with two tents, one for you and one for the rest of them – you’ve tried protesting this multiple times, seeing no need to carry both when there’d be room for you in theirs. None of them has accepted that, though, fiercely arguing about your title as crown and theirs as commoners. You aren’t sure how to tell them it’s lonely without sounding too much like a child. Azumane sometimes comes in and holds your hand, but you know he leaves your tent shortly after you’ve dozed off.

Night shifts are less lonely since no one takes them alone. You’ve gotten closer to Hinata, learning about his hometown and his dream of becoming a knight. How no one believed him and he was ridiculed for such a dream due to his short stature. He’d proudly puffed out his chest the night you’d told him that you’d appoint him a title after the travels were over, “I’ll even send home an official letter to your family.” You’d added with a wink, and his eyes had turned bigger than you thought possible.

The day after, Sugawara had scolded you that you mustn’t make such promises to such a young guard. You’d dismissed him.

Tonight, you and Sugawara has the shift together. You take a sip of your tea and sigh, “it sure is quaint out here,” you muse and Sugawara chuckles, “you seem to have fallen quite in love with the countryside.”

You look at him longingly and smile, “well, it’s quite the view.”

He doesn’t notice how your gaze lingers on him and just smiles into the distance, “it is. I haven’t ever been this far south.”

You wrap yourself up more in the blanket that Sugawara draped over you earlier, when your watch started. You then gather the courage to ask him, “are you happy with your work?”

You’re not sure if he turns his head to look at you or not, your eyes fixated on a rock further ahead in your line of vision, afraid that his answer might not be what you’re looking for. You spent so many years admiring the relationship between your father and his advisor, counting down the days until you’d be the one bound in an oath like that. You’re not sure it is what you expected.

You’re not sure you’re supposed to look at his lips so much.

Sugawara sighs and stretches his arms, “it sure is work, your majesty.”

It takes a moment for you to register his joke, to understand that he’s making fun of you, your expression not as schooled as you’d like it to be. You kick his shin and he chuckles before taking a sip of his own tea. It’s elfbark, harvested a few days prior when he took you foraging – he’d even held your hand as you went over a creek.

“There’s no greater thing for me to do, your majesty. I told you, remember? That I dreamt of grandness, to help the Karasuno Kingdom reclaim its former glory before the Third Age.”

You hum out a reply and look into the fire in front of you, “do you think I shall be able to achieve that? Continue my father’s work?”

Sugawara puts down his cup and leans closer to you, his brown boot lightly touching yours. A way to make a connection. You notice the dirt on the leather. You think this may be the first time you’ve ever had boots this dirty outside of the keep. Sugawara points up at the night sky,

“You remind me of the guiding star, your majesty. Your glow is magnificent and empowering, you’ll lead this country to greatness. Do you not trust the Farseers?”

You huff out a laugh, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face by looking back at the tents, avoiding his intense gaze, “it is not that I do not trust them, Sugawara, but being called the ‘Bringer of Serenity’ feels like a title meant for someone else.” you admit, for the first time out loud to anyone ever since the premonition was brought to you by the Farseer clan when you were just short of 14. You’re not sure when you started to feel like an impostor. It’s been a while since those thoughts journeyed your mind last.

You haven’t had such thoughts since Sugawara came into your life.

“You’re my earth, Sugawara.”

You blurt it out before you can stop yourself – before you can think through the heaviness of the words. Spiraling in your mind, you don’t notice the way Sugawara’s breath hitches or the way his eyes widen, his mouth hanging open. There’s a silence stretching between you until Sugawara manages to close his mouth and bite his lip.

“Pardon, your majesty?”

You can’t retract it now – you might as well be honest. Didn’t your father always tell you to never hide any parts of yourself for your advisor?

You heave in a big breath, “you ground me. I may be a star to you, up in the sky where nothing can reach me. But I get to admire you, look at you. To be reminded of who I’m shining for. A constant reassurance that you’ll always be there.”

Sugawara doesn’t reply to you immediately and you cough into your sleeve to hide your face, not able to look him in the eye just yet.

As the silence stretches out you whine and give in and look up at him. Sugawara’s simply looking at you with the warm smile that makes your insides melt. If it weren’t for the darkness of the night, you’d know that his lash line is wet, but he gets to keep that information to himself. You raise an eyebrow, “’cause you will always be here…. Right?”

His warm and affectionate smile turns into a face splitting grin, the gooey mess in your stomach suddenly sprouting wings and flying rapidly, desperately around inside you, “of course, your majesty.”

A few more days pass in peace, the setting up of tents your biggest worry. There are two mules with you, ones that Kageyama and Hinata takes care of. It’s not until you’re at the borders between Kogeno and Hiashi that trouble arise. There’re scouts positioned in a two-and-a-half-mile radius traveling alongside you, even if you’d insisted there was no need. Sawamura hadn’t budged on the subject and the hardened look he’d given you made you shrink in on yourself, remembering the burden you’ve put on him.

Some scouts didn’t report back to Sawamura and some went missing. Sawamura’s sitting by the fire with Sugawara, a tense silence draped over them. “I think it’d be safer to return with the crown.” Sawamura says, his eyebrows furrowed. Sugawara hums, “I’m not sure they’ll do that. They’re just as determined as you are, if not more.”

Sawamura heaves a big sigh as he straightens his back, lifts his arms above his head and gain a satisfying pop of joints. Sugawara scrunches his nose up at the noise – he’ll never be one to enjoy that sound.

“Won’t they listen to you?”

Sugawara scoffs out a laugh as he takes a sip of his mug of ale, “as capable as they recognize me to be, if their heart is set on something, none of my academic words will matter.”

You’re all out in the woods with no one around you, so everyone lets their guard down. There’s quiet, only the sounds of critters. Sawamura flinches a few times but Sugawara doesn’t notice.

The mules, which are tied up next to your tent, start whinnying and moving restlessly, and that’s when Sugawara notices.

There’s a fire at the side of your tent.

He flies up, his mug thrown to the ground as he runs towards the entrance, glad to see the fire’s still small. “Daichi!” he calls as he hurls open the latch of the cotton door. Sawamura yells in the distance and out of his peripheral vision he sees Kageyama and Hinata jump out of their tent.

You’re asleep. He flies to his knees in front of your bedding, “your majesty!” he calls and you open your eyes, confused and disoriented, “we have to get out!” is all Sugawara says before he pulls you against him and out of the tent. You both land on the ground outside, coughing.

There are other people now. Sugawara belatedly hears the clashing of swords, commands and running. It takes him a moment to orient himself, shielding you underneath him on the ground. You start to claw at his arms, “I can fight too!” you yell, and he hushes you, “we’re not sure what our enemy is here,” he half-whispers as he makes a headcount. He’s not sure if they’ve noticed you’re out of your tent, alive. You grab on to the ground underneath you and manage to crawl free of Sugawara’s grasp, running to your sword placed by the supplies, ready to grab and defend with if needed.

There’s more yelling, and you manage to land a hit on someone using an axe. Commands of killing the crown are shouted all around you and Sawamura’s back hits yours, “your majesty, please escape.” He says and you let out a hysterical scoff, “I’m not”- you land a hit on the hip of the enemy in front of you- “leaving you all behind!” you finish, shouting as you kick the person away. They fall to the ground, weapon lost on the way down. The fire from your tent lights up the place in an almost magnificent glow.

Someone shouts something about daggers, you think it might be Hinata. You turn your head, and then you see it.

The dagger hurled toward you makes your eyes widen in fear, freezing you into place. You want to dodge – knows how to, yet you’re unable. You hear the shouting of your men from all around you, amplified by the sound of weapons continually clashing. You’re able to filter out Sugawara’s voice in all the noise as he calls your name – your name. It’s the first time you hear him use it and you almost want to scoff at how the mind processes all of this in such short moments. This must be what it feels like to know you’ll die. An image of your father appears in your mind.

And then you’re roughly pushed to the ground, exclaiming a groan at the impact with another human, hearing his cry into your shoulder as you both crash onto the ground. All sounds are now muffled and you feel intensely the pressure on your ribs from the weight of the other, the pebbles digging into your hip from the ground and then, then you feel a warm liquid trickle down over your collarbone and jaw. You briefly wonder if it’s yours but can, in those short seconds, locate no penetrated part of you that’d make you bleed, heaving in a deep breath filled with the dust of the ground.

Your eyes travel to the tuft of grey hair tickling your cheek and it’s then the bubble that had closed your ears pop sharply, making every sound all too loud and all too much again. On top of you, Sugawara is groaning in pain before he rolls off to the ground next to you, apologizing in a strained voice for getting blood on you.

The dagger, meant for your heart, is lodged into his shoulder and he’s bent awkwardly in an attempt to hide it from you with his left arm. You desperately pull his other arm away to assess the damage and there’s more than just one scolding going through your mind as you see how much blood is running down over his arm and chest, though no constructive words are able to pass your lips, only panicked one-syllable words. Sugawara’s already heavily damaged, not one used to fighting like this. There’s already bruising forming on his face, his brow split and bleeding. He’s groaning in obvious agony.

Words are being shouted around you and one repeats itself continuously, “run, your majesty!”

It’s not a demand, it’s a plead. Sawamura’s voice sounds desperate and coarse as he fights off another attacker with his sword. The meaning behind the words has changed since he started shouting them at the beginning of the ambush and for the first time since drawing out your sword, you decide to heed his words. You send him a determined nod and his gratitude gives him new power to charge an enemy.

“I’m sorry, Koushi, please hold on,” you whisper and Sugawara starts whining and trashing as you try to carry him off of the ground. His voice is garbled as the four words departs him, “leave me. Hide.”

You laugh, almost hysterically as you get his arm over your shoulders, “you can make this easier for me or not, I won’t leave you.”

The fear of losing Sugawara gives you new strength and while limping on your right leg, you manage to carry the both of you into the nearby bushes off of the road. You have half a mind to look back and check if anyone’s following you, but it’ll slow you down to turn your head, so you decide to trust Sawamura and his men. You know more arrived shortly after the ambush, the back-up guards Sawamura has had stationed in a radius around you ever since you left Karasu Keep. You’re not sure how many successfully fell to the ground up until this point, but hope you’ve outnumbered them by now.

The shouting becomes quieter, the throbbing of your head becoming louder. Out here there’s no light, the bushes and trees blocking off the light from the fire in the camp. Blearily, you locate a bigger bush and decides to push yourself and Sugawara inside of it to hide. He groans loudly at the impact, and as you crawl in next to him, you realize it’s a hawthorn bush. You roll your eyes; it’ll have to do.

You feel the thorns digging into your exposed skin as you try to get on your knees and pull Sugawara’s upper body to your lap gently, trying not to make the damage worse. Judging by his groans and whines, you’re not doing a very good job at it. You feel after the wound and hiss when you realize it’s still bleeding. You’re afraid to pull out the dagger, fearing it’ll make it worse. You’re also afraid it might be poisoned – would these attackers rely on simple luck that it’d pierce either your head or your heart? A dagger to the arm or leg isn’t necessarily fatal.

You apologize to Sugawara in bated breaths as you try to get a grip of your shirt’s side, ripping off as much fabric as you’re able, all the way to your back, where it’s hard to reach. You then lift his arm to wrap it around.

“Remove”-Sugawara coughs and curls in on himself – “the dagger.” He finished and you whine at his command, “what if you’ll bleed more?” and he wheezes out a laugh, “I’m bleeding either way, aren’t I?”

You want to punch him, but decide to do as he says, “here, bite down on this. I don’t want them to hear us,” you rip off the fabric of your sleeve and he bites down onto it, “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do it quickly or slowly,” you admit and he groans. You apologize again, “I’ll do it quickly, in one”- you put your hands around the handle – “two… and three!”

Sugawara passes out after that.

///

Sugawara’s eyes are heavy as he tries to open them, coated with blood and tears. He hears Sawamura calling out, “Suga! Are you here? Your majesty!” and as he manages to open his right eye, is immediately blinded by the bright light coming in through the branches he’s surrounded by. He feels a weight on top of him and feels arms wrapped tightly around him, almost caging him in. He hears your soft breathing and sees you asleep on top of him.

Your face, beautiful and kind is layered in caked blood and dirt, your lip swollen. His name is called again and as he opens his mouth to reply, he realizes how dry and big his tongue feels. He tries to lick his lips, gather saliva but coughs instead, “in… here,” he manages to croak out but it’s barely even a whisper, his voice strained and hoarser than he’s tried before. He takes in a deep breath, “Daichi!”

Footsteps near them in a fast pace, “bushes,” he manages to wheeze out and that’s when you steer over him, “Sugawara!” you plead as he coughs from the strain, and then Sawamura is standing next to the bushes, “we’ll help you out, don’t worry your majesty, Suga.”

Sugawara’s eyes fall shut again.

He wakes up more comfortable this time, wrapped in blankets and with a pillow underneath his head. He’s back by the camp, and everyone is gathered, in various stages of bruised and hurt – but alive.

He sighs as he falls back onto the pillow, which makes Daichi look down at him, a gentle expression on his face, “you’re awake.”

Next to him, you’re stirring something together in a cup, blending them as you wait for the kettle to finish boiling – you’re preparing medicine, he realizes. You’re doing it meticulously and with your tongue sticking out in concentration.

Sawamura fills him in on what happened, “it’s the same men as the attack on the former crown,” he clears his throat and takes in a deep breath, “fewer this time. We managed to fight them off, but a few of them escaped – probably to report back to whoever’s behind this.”

You fill in the cup with the water, trying to pour it in the swirling motion that your father taught you, so that the medicine blends better. You haven’t spoken a word to Sugawara yet. He pouts, “that decides this. The crown’s going back.”

He’s never seen you turn your head so fast, “I am most definitely not!”

Sugawara tries to sit up but feel the strain it gives his body, wheezing out a cough. You instinctively reach out to help him, but recoil at the last minute as you see the hardened look he gives you, “there’s no discussion to be had about this. You’re going back to Karasu Keep where you’ll be safe – and alive!”

You scoff at him and get up, “who’s the hurt one here? I can walk and run just fine!” you yell, and everyone at the camp is holding their breath, shifting their gazes between the two of you. Sugawara groans out loud to make a point and sits up higher, “who says you’ll survive the nex-“

“I do! I’ll survive jus-!”

“There’s no heir!”

Everyone freezes. You look at Sugawara with a mixed gaze, surprise and … is it hurt he sees there? He looks pointedly at the ground as he sighs, “Karasuno is teetering on the edge as it is. Losing one crown to an assassination was a hard blow – but losing the next one too? You’re unmarried, you’re childless. Whose head will the crown fall upon? Someone with the kingdom’s interests at heart?”

You slump and almost stagger but stand your ground as much as you’re able. You look him directly into his eyes, and he swallows thickly at the emotions swirling so obviously there, “I’ll survive.” You grit it out, like it’s hard to speak, and he fears it might be for you. He knows his words have hurt you – but he’d rather have you hurt and alive. He’ll gladly become a villain in your mind to keep you in this world. He grits his teeth,

“Take Hinata and go back.”

You laugh and throw your arms in the air, “we’re almost there. Who says I won’t be attacked on the way home, then? Will I be safer with more guards or simply one? And we only have pack-mules and very little supplies. I’ll hardly survive the trip home without making it known that I left!”

Sawamura gets up then and gives Sugawara an apologetic look, “they’re right. It’s safer to keep them with us.”

“Daichi!”

Sawamura sends him a pleading look, begging for him to cooperate, “keeping the crown safe is my priority and responsibility. I cannot guarantee such protection if they’re to stray from my side.”

Sugawara puffs up his cheeks, “you wanted to send them home a few days ago!” he yells, his anger redirected to his best friend. Sawamura lets out an exasperated sigh, “the situation’s changed.”

Sugawara looks around. Azumane, Hinata and Kageyama are all avoiding his gaze. “You can’t be serious!” he yells before he falls back on the makeshift bed and turns to lie on his left side, his back turned to everyone. He has to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent tears from falling.

Kageyama’s standing by the mules, feeding them stray grass he’s found from the side of the road. You come up to him and stand in silence. You’re not sure how to talk to him, though you wish you could. His entire arm is brushed and bandaged and he’s limping just a little bit more than you are.

You sigh as you pet the side of the mule’s head. It leans happily towards you, enjoying the attention. “Should I go back?”

Kageyama whips his head so fast towards you that it surprises you. His face is as hard to read as ever before he pouts, “I’ve never wanted to follow a weak leader,” he gets out and you raise your eyebrows, awaiting his continuation. “I don’t think Suga meant it the way you took it.”

You nod as he bites the inside of his cheek, “I’ll always follow you, your majesty, and I believe you capable of making the right choices.”

There’s silence between you again, only the sounds of the mules’ hooves and breaths – it’s comfortable. Behind you, you can hear the movements and low talks of your other travel buddies. Azumane has clung to you since you came back and this is the first time you’re walking away from the make-shift seatings and he didn’t follow you.

“I think Suga simply wants you to survive, is all, your majesty.”

It’s your turn to bite the inside of the cheek at the statement.

Evening has arrived at your little camp and while everyone’s settled in a sort of comfortable gratitude about being alive and well, the tension between you and Sugawara is still pulled taut. Hinata is currently singing a few songs by the fire while Kageyama fills up the waterskins for tomorrow’s continued travels.

“Sugawara, a moment if you will.”

Sugawara puts the ladle back down into the pot of porridge with gracious speed compared to the damage of his injury before he straightens his back and replies to you, just as coldly as you had to him, “of course, your majesty. How may I assist you?”

Azumane and Sawamura can scarcely keep the smiles off of their faces at the display in front of them, entirely too childish and immature – not befitting of the crown and their advisor at all. Not to mention the way they’re all unceremoniously huddled under blankets around the fire, their ruler in the same, commoner survival gear as them. You look nothing like royalty after last night’s attack, so your speech mannerisms seem almost out of character. Sawamura’s just glad they brought a few extra uniforms with them since everything in your tent turned to ashes.

You pull out a map and beckon him closer. Sawamura doesn’t miss the way Sugawara rolls his eyes ever so slightly yet gets up from his crouched position to be by your side at your request. Your quarrel today is still heavy in the air and Azumane fears for the night shift the two of you are supposed to have at nightfall. He knows how you both can be stubborn and volatile and he’s not sure he’ll be able to sleep soundly.

Your talk remains civil as you go through the final stretch of your journey on the map, talking strategies. Sawamura altered the route earlier today to shake off possible attackers in case there’d been a mole in his scouting groups. He’d also sent one back to the keep requesting back up – he’s not sure they’ll get there in time, even if their travels won’t be on foot.

The night shift is entirely quiet. Sugawara’s stiff through the first few hours, waiting for you to yell at him, chide him, anything. But you stay silent, only occasionally getting up to fetch fresh water from the kettle by the fire. He thinks he’d rather want a scolding at this point.

You then gasp out loud and his fight or flight reacts immediately, his body tensing, ready to jump up at any given demand. He may be hurt, but he’s sure he’d still be able to defend you – at least until Sawamura woke up. He then looks to you, and your eyes are fixated on the sky above you. There’s a shimmer reflected in your eyes that makes his pose relax, the half-smile you’re adorning that makes him unclench his fists.

“There was a shooting star,” you explain and keep your gaze fixed up. Sugawara looks up at the immense horizon, the stars illuminating the pitch-black darkness. “Right there,” you point up even if the action is meaningless since your perspective is different from his, “right by Orion.”

That doesn’t help him, so he just stares up at the sky, “I think Cygnus is visible on the sky tonight as well.” You bite your underlip in concentration as your eyes flicker around and Sugawara finds himself looking more intently at you than at the heavens. A triumphant smile appears on your face, “yep, it’s right there north of the guiding star!” you say and Sugawara hangs his head low as he admits his biggest academic flaw to date, “I can’t navigate the stars.”

There’s silence from you and he finally gathers the courage to look up at you. The moment your eyes meet his apologetic ones, you can’t stop yourself from bursting out into a laugh. He seems genuinely sorry that he’s unable to locate a constellation and the blanket of tension between you dissipates immediately at his confession. You wipe a stray tear from your lash line as Sugawara pouts next to you, “it’s okay,” you manage to say between laughs as you start to quiet down again, “I can show you.”

You shuffle closer to Sugawara – closer than he thinks you’ve been before and he swallows thickly – and put your head by his shoulder. Sugawara holds his breath. You raise your arm to point, “do you see the bright star there? It’s Deneb, there’s three stars aligning with it horizontally,” you say and Sugawara thinks he knows where you’re talking about. You sigh before you continue, “the star directly next to Deneb, there’s stars that go vertically,” you point your finger a little higher slowly as you count, “one a little distance away and then,” you lick your lips subconsciously, “two, three and four.”

Sugawara’s getting cross-eyed by the closeness but wills his mind to focus entirely on your hand and the stars above. He sees the pattern you’re mentioning, “Cygnus means swan, right?” he asks and you nod. In nodding, your head touches his shoulder – you decide to lean into that with a sigh, “yeah, it’s the swan constellation. It means summer’s coming.”

Sugawara dares not move, lest you pull back from him. Only once has he felt your weight like this on him, and he never imagined himself lucky enough to experience it twice. He can feel your body temperature mingle with his own and when he exhales slowly, he can actually see his breath. He notices your slight shiver. It’s unseasonably cold for this time of year, “it’s the clear skies. There’s nothing to tie down the heat.” you say while stifling a yawn.

Did Sugawara speak out loud? He simply nods, unable to form the proper words he wants to articulate. All these years reading books and learning about the human mind and he can’t even hold a conversation with you. He wants to lean onto you as well, but he doesn’t.

You climb out of the tent bright and early, stretching your limbs. You enjoy sleeping in but admittedly sleeping next to three grown and snoring men made it easier to get up with the sun. Azumane greets you from the fireplace and hands you a cup of tea as you settle down.

Today, Hinata is leaving ahead of you to see if he can either gain information or trust. He’s from the duchy – even if he grew up on the borders of it, on the other side of the mountain, it might help that a local arrives. He’s preparing a packing mule for traveling together with Sawamura, trying to make it appear that he’s been traveling alone. You’re lucky he didn’t get visibly hurt during the assault.

When he’s packed and ready to leave, you approach him, “thank you, Hinata, for doing this,” you say with a gentle smile that makes Hinata tense up in excitement from your acknowledgement. He then salutes you, “of course, your majesty! I shall do my utmost to help.”

He sounds knightly and ready, if it weren’t for the rumbling of his stomach a few short moments after his declaration. He curls in on himself with an apology dripping from his mouth. You notice the signs in him as the signs you had back when you became Crown-in-Waiting. You bend down to lock eyes with him, “you’re going to do great, no matter the outcome.” You hope you give a sufficient enough smile as you rest a hand on his shoulder, “we’ll arrive after nightfall as well, so it won’t be long before we’re united again, okay?”

He inhales slowly, holds it, and while straightening his back, exhales slowly again. He seems more determined as he gives you a big smile, “thank you, your majesty.” he says as he gets ready to leave you.

After Hinata’s left, you’re all by the campfire, eating a small provisional breakfast. Kageyama’s trying to sleep a few hours before you leave after having the final part of the night shift. Sawamura scratches at his ever-growing beard and you smile, “it’s really grown out these days, huh.” You say and he laughs. One of those deep ones that rumbles from his stomach, “I admit I have forgotten to pack a proper looking glass and blade.”

You smile and take a bite out from the small bowl on your lap, “it suits you. Beards are very handsome.”

Next to you, Sugawara chokes on a piece of bread. With a worried look you turn to him, leaning in to see if he’s alright. You pat his back and he raises an arm, “I’m okay, your majesty,” he manages to wheeze out and you smile, “you have to be careful.”

Sugawara nods as he wipes off his mouth with his sleeve. He freezes when he feels the pad of your fingers against his cheek, “you haven’t grown out much hair,” you absentmindedly state, eyes locked on his lips, the valley of his cupids bow as you feel the softness of his skin. You’re pulled out of your daze by the roaring laughter around you. You look to Sawamura and Azumane who’s both wheezing out, Sawamura hitting his thigh too in order to control his laughter. Sugawara pouts and scolds them, “shut up you two!” he tries, but they hardly listen.

You laugh at the antics in front of you, “did I say something amiss?” you ask and Azumane heaves in a breath, “Suga’s never been able to grow a beard, it’s his insecurity, your majesty.”

“Hey!” Sugawara yells and your eyes trace back to him, he’s pointing at Azumane with his butter knife, “stop telling people about that!” he side-eyes you for a second and then, in a frustrated whisper adds, “especially them!” as if you wouldn’t be able to hear him.

Sawamura laughs, “when we were little, Suga drew a picture of us grown up, and he had this big beard on the drawing – so you can imagine his disappointment,” he jokes and you laugh. Sugawara mumbles out unintelligible yet clearly annoyed words.

“Yeah, in front of the castle, right?” Sawamura asks and Azumane confirms, “yeah, he drew it shortly before I left as my parting gift. I still have it in my chambers.”

You look around at the three men in front of you with slight confusion, “you grew up together?”

They all return your confused look, staring at you as if you’d just grown three heads and not simply asked an innocent question. Azumane smiles, “did I fail to mention so, your majesty? We’re all from the same hometown.”

You nod as you piece together the childhood stories you’ve gotten before from both Azumane and Sugawara. Like a painting receiving it’s finer lines, you start to visualize who was with them in the stories they’ve told. You raise a hand to your mouth as you bark out a laugh, “I didn’t realize! But I can see how it makes sense…”

You sigh, “…must be nice, to stay so close after so many years.”

They all nod, solemnly, and the rest of the breakfast is finished in silence. It’s comfortable, but there’s a fog around you that Sugawara can’t seem to see through. He’s not sure how to give you any reassuring words.

///

When you arrive at the outskirts of town, there’s quiet. You can see the light from the houses littering the scenery and nothing seems amiss. There’re still a few miles to the center of the town, so you stretch your arms over your head as you straighten your back. Sawamura is by your side instantly, “do you need a break, your majesty?” he asks and you smile at him as you shake your head, “I’m fine, Sawamura. Thank you, though.”

Sugawara and Kageyama are walking behind with the remaining mule and Azumane’s walking a few steps ahead. Sawamura paces his walking to yours, and a comfortable silence settles over you as you take in your surroundings.

You heave in a breath to gather courage and clench your fists at your sides, then you turn to Sawamura, “ho- “your voice is higher pitched than you’d like, so you steel yourself again, “how was Sugawara as a child?”

Sawamura looks at you, startled to begin with but loosens up with a sort of fatherly smile. He looks up at the sky as you continue walking side by side, “Suga? He’s not much different now, I’d say. He’s mischievous when he wants to be, but other than that he’s got a stout heart – he doesn’t sway easily.”

You nod, playing with your fingers to alleviate your own nervousness. Sawamura sighs, “he’s always there for the people he cares about. He picked a fight with some older guys when we were kids, because they picked on his brother.” Sawamura chuckles at the memory.

“He’s a romantic, too.” Sawamura adds and it sounds much like an afterthought to you, but if Sugawara had heard him say those words to you, he’d scolded him. You feel your pulse quicken from something other than the brisk pace you’re walking as you hurry to avert your eyes to the ground. You’re about to say something when you’re abruptly interrupted, “psst!”

You all turn your heads to the hedge you’re walking next to, Sawamura already holding onto the handle of his sword, ready to fight if necessary. It’s an elderly lady in a cloak looking directly at you. She’s so small that her head is barely above the hedge’s edge. “Who walks there?” Sawamura demands, all loud and imposing but she hurries to hush him, “quiet! Come in quickly, before everyone knows you’ve arrived.”

She motions for you all to come in through the gates to the modest house. Inside, there’s lights in one of the rooms and you can see someone else walking around.

“Daichi.” Sugawara says from behind you, his voice level and even. You can hear the coldness to it, his message clear that he does not trust this lady. You smile gently at her as she tries to make you hurry, “if they spot you there’ll be trouble, so please, your majesty.”

That makes all of you tense up and Sawamura hurries to drag out his sword, pointing it towards her. He asks you to stand back but you walk closer to the gate, and lower Sawamura’s sword with your hand as you pass him, “I believe we can trust her.”

You’re not sure why. You have no recollection of meeting this woman, but you feel safe when you lock eyes with her. She bows slightly and opens the gates for you, “the mule can grass behind the house, just hurry.”

When you’re inside, you’re seated by a table. Sawamura and Sugawara’s standing by the entrance with their arms crossed, not happy with your decision to come inside and they’re not afraid to make it known. Azumane’s sitting with you, profusely apologizing for your company’s manners. You’re all waiting in awkward silence for Kageyama to walk in through the door after securing the mule to a post.

There’s another woman humming as she’s preparing a kettle of water. You can’t determine her age, but she isn’t much younger than the other one. You faintly recognize the melody she’s humming, but you cannot place it. When you finally ask her where the melody is from, she chuckles as she answers you, “it’s my own. I sang it for my son when he was just a babe.” She hands you a steaming hot cup of tea and you bow to her as you hurry to thank her – both for the cup of tea but certainly also for the hospitality – even if the circumstances seem dubious to your traveling company.

The door from the gardens open and Kageyama treads in with the elderly lady in hand, helping her up the heightened steps. “Oh, your majesty, I’m so delighted you’ve been tended to,” the elderly lady exclaims happily, excusing herself as she walks past Sawamura and Sugawara, who both declined any refreshments.

“I believe an introduction’s in order.” She says nonchalantly, seating herself next to you, “I’m Takeda Airi,” she bows to you unceremoniously before she grabs one of the pastries from the center of the table. Both you and Sugawara perk up and take a look at each other, recognizing the name immediately.

She lets out a shrill laugh, “you two can’t be fooled, I take it.” She notices, and you smile sheepishly, “am I wrong to assume Takeda Ittetsu is a family member of yours?” you ask, putting down your cup on the table. Airi hands you a pastry without asking if you wanted any, and the other woman scolds her, “mother! Don’t force feed the crown!”

She waves her off, “Ittetsu told me that the crown loves sweet things. Which is why I had you baking!”

You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. You’d never known your tutoring scribe’s family history or ever imagined yourself in his family’s home. Airi seems special and almost familiar to you, now that you can take a better look at her. Her nose is rounded and flat, while her eyes are still big and all-seeing. When she catches you staring, you straighten your back. She smiles knowingly, “you’ve realized we’ve met before.” She states, and Sugawara walks over to stand by your side. You’re not sure of his intentions.

You’re about to ask her to make sense of this feeling in you when she claps her hands together, “we don’t have time for the past! Your majesty, you must leave.”

“Leave?” you exclaim, not able to hold back a grimace. She nods, “this duchy does not see you in a very good light. Your very life is in danger just by being here.”

Your throat feels dry but your mouth waters in anxiety. You try to gulp but feel unable to. Sugawara puts a hand on your shoulder, “with all due respect, we came to figure out why.”

Airi nods before giving Sugawara a grim look, “you have been doing a poor job, advisor. Letting your crown come so far into a lion’s den.” Everyone tenses, Sawamura and Kageyama take another battle stance at her comment. She then lets out another shrill laugh, “oh I don’t mean me, obviously! The town! The duchy!” she raises her arms to further her point, “the duke is not to be trusted.”

The other woman sighs, “mother, you’re confusing them,” she then turns to you all with a warm smile, “I’m Hina. Ittetsu’s mother.”

You take a bite of the pastry shoved in your hands earlier. She then sighs and look out the window, clenching her fists by her chest, “Duke Takashi killed your father.”

The air gets hard to breathe. It’s like there isn’t any air in the air you were breathing, your throat feeling tight; mouth numb. The ringing in your ears become distinctly louder and your blood feels heavy, rushing through you. In a far corner of your sense of self, you feel the hand on your shoulder tighten. You think the pastry in your hand might’ve fallen to the ground. The sweet aftertaste of cinnamon lingers on your tastebuds, suffocating you.

You register the raised voices around you, but none of the words gets processed. Your eyes are open but they’re looking inwards. There’s a burning wire of fire in your heart, ablaze and uncontrollable. You think you hear your father’s voice somewhere, repeating your name. As the voice gets clearer and clearer, the sound of your name gets more and more distorted.

You heave in a desperate breath as you’re pulled back to reality. Airi’s hand is touching yours, her ring cold on your skin. You recognize it immediately, the Black wings of the Crow crafted into a ring instead of a pin. You look at her with questioning eyes and she smiles gently, “one thing at a time, my dearest. Now, take a deep breath for me.”

She takes deep breaths to instruct you and you seem to follow them with ease. Sugawara tries to relax next to you, but he can’t deny the bizarreness of this entire situation. He holds his breath until yours is back under control.

Hina asks Sawamura and Kageyama to sit down as well as she starts explaining. Duke Takashi came into his dukedom shortly before the drought, known locally as the power-hungry, youngest son of the Takashi family. His older brother tragically died in a housefire shortly before ascending his duty and therefor Takashi stood to inherit it all.

There was a big change of staff when he entered his role, new rules bestowed upon the duchy.

“After the drought, he held an assembly to tell us of the kingdom’s decision of abandonment.”

Sugawara raises an eyebrow. No such decision was ever made – or even discussed. Hina smiles patiently, “you all looked confused. See, Duke Takashi is good at many things. Manipulating and isolating his duchy is undoubtedly his strongest suit.”

Airi scoffs and interrupts, “that snake.”

Hina nods, agreeing with her mother, “the treaty with Fukurodani Empire was still new at the time and he used it to his advantage. Made us believe that the crown was trying to give us up, abandon us.”

You suck in your teeth, fear gripping at your heart as you try to steady the beating. Hina continues, “your father did a lot of good things for the duchy during the crisis. He even came here, in this very kitchen, with food to help sustain us – and a lot of other homes.”

Airi sighs, “but time does as time does best. If it is not taken care of, it forgets. It leaves behind knowledge.”

“But what does that have to do with Duke Takashi?” Sugawara asks, though he thinks he might’ve pieced it together by now. He doesn’t like where it’s going.

Airi’s about to open her mouth and speak more when Hina hisses, “they’re here.”

You whip your head to the window and through the darkness of the outside, you make out a few torches and movement. More detailed it won’t become, so long as there’s light in the house.

“Hide, upstairs!” Airi says as she pulls you up from your chair with surprising strength. Sugawara grabs your hand and leads you first towards the stairs he noticed at the back of the hallway when they arrived. He hears the others are right behind the two of you.

You take a look back and see Airi smile gently at you, tapping her ring finger with her other hand. You know it means her allegiance lies with you, though fear still has a wholesome grip around your throat. You’re not sure what’s going to happen, but you know nothing must happen to her.

You’re huddled in the back with Azumane and Sugawara hovering over you, arms around you protectively, as Sawamura and Kageyama stand ready with weapons in case anyone will show up.

You hear the muffled noise of knocking on the door and Airi tiredly yelling she’s on her way when the knocking becomes more aggressive. You strain your eyes to listen to the words spoken but can only make out the hostility of the voice speaking, not the words. The voices raise and you hear something being thrown, which makes your body react before you can really think your actions through.

You jump up from your bent position, passing Sawamura and Kageyama before they can even react to your actions, jumping – and almost falling – down the stairs, a determined glare in your eyes. You see Airi on the floor next to the stool she’d been pushed towards and Hina crouched by her, holding up her head. Airi looks at you and yells out a “no!” but you only have eyes for the man who still has his arm raised from the push.

Duke Takashi.

When he sees you, a sinister grin appears on his face. He pulls back his arm and readjusts his sleeve, as if the wrinkles he’d gotten from his violence was more revolting than the action itself.

“Oh, your majesty, what brings you here? What a pleasant surprise.”

You scoff, “surprise?”

You hear the others hurry down the stairs to you but before they can round the corner, Takashi’s already jumped into action, pulling your back close to him with a knife to your throat. Involuntarily, you let out a whine from the impact as you try to scratch at his arms, kick his legs, anything.

But he doesn’t budge. He merely kicks at Airi as if your struggle was a daytime breeze.

“Get Airi and Hina away from here!” you choke out between labored breaths, and Sawamura orders Kageyama help them get up and behind them.

“Let them go, Duke Takashi and you shan’t be punished.”

Takashi laughs again as he starts walking backwards and out of the house with you in tow, “oh I don’t believe that at all, you simple knights have no honor left.”

Outside, a mob has gathered. It’s the people of the town, and they’re all making way for Takashi to hold you in the center, demanding their attention.

“Everyone! We have them in our grasp!” he starts, toying with the knife close to your throat, laughing triumphantly.

“Our plans had setbacks, sure, but now we can reclaim the full prize. There is simply no heir to take the throne and what will happen when they tragically pass due to a group of bandits? I, Duke Takashi, will of course lend my aid to the kingdom.”

Sugawara clenches his fists, “there’ll be no place for you on the throne!” he yells, and one of Takashi’s guardsmen takes a hold of him. “Let me go!” he yells, but it’s futile. His shoulder’s acting up and the fatigue from the other bruises that he’d hidden well from you, is catching up to him. He’s powerless. He sends Sawamura a pleading look, but his look is steeled entirely on you, sword raised as he tries to figure out what to do. How to get you back safe.

“Won’t there? You’re the advisor, Sugawara, so tell me. What happens if there’s no one to ascend the throne? Hm? That’s right, the dukes are put to a vote to become stewards of the kingdom.”

“As if they’d vote for you!” Sugawara spits back and the guard tightens his grip on Sugawara’s arms, making him kneel. You whine at seeing him being hurt.

“Oh, so you think I’ve been snoozing the past five or so years? You haven’t noticed the good relations I’ve been making with the other duchies? The aid I’ve provided them?”

Sugawara’s eyes widen. The lowered tax – Sugawara had assumed that Takashi had kept the money to himself instead of giving it to his duchy, that he’d hoarded wealth for his own gain – but the plot had been much bigger than Sugawara had caught on to. This was more than just stealing money from his own duchy.

It’s a coup d’état.

A carefully planned one at that.

You scratch at his arms and he groans, “stop moving, your majesty, I’ll finish this soon enough.” He says your title mockingly. You hear the sound of crows cawing somewhere in the distance.

“You stole your people’s money!” you manage to yell out as you kick his knee. Takashi yells out as he hits your head with the blunt end of the blade, making you disoriented.

The guard holding Sugawara tightly suddenly loosens his grip – not enough to be visible to anyone else, but certainly felt by Sugawara. Sugawara notices some of the guards looking around at each other, their angry and victorious faces going pale, confused, questioning.

Sugawara takes his chances, “you stole the much-needed money from a hurt duchy and redistributed it to other well-functioning duchies, didn’t you? The crown lowered the taxes to help the people here, but you didn’t lower their payments!”

More confusion, more questions.

Sawamura smiles confidently but with reprehension still as he quietly says, “these people are helping you on false pretenses, aren’t they? Do they know the truth?”

Takashi starts backing away more, tightening his grip on your throat. You try to resist, but he’s strong – and the knife is lodged so close, that you can feel the sting of the blade. Your head pounds, making your vision blurry. You feel blood tickle down your brow. You have to trust your men.

You detect panic in his voice as he frantically starts explaining to his men how they’d get in on his success, too. How he’d share the riches of the kingdom with them. One yells back, “there was riches! But you took them!”

“My daughter passed away because you said we couldn’t afford to pay the local doctor to stay in town!” another yells, anguished.

Words like worthy sacrifice, small evils needed and desperate attempts to convince them of his righteousness is thrown around, but he’s frantically grasping at straws now that he’s been exposed.

He pushes the blade enough to break skin. Sugawara calls your name again and you almost smile. You must be delirious from the pain because somehow you feel happy that he called your name again. You never thought you’d hear it again, much less this soon. He calls it with a hoarser voice and as the guard lets go of him, you can see he intends to run to you. Sawamura stops him with an arm and the yelling is now directed at him instead.

Sugawara can’t see what you can from your perspective on the other side of the hedge, and you know Sawamura’s taking a gamble based on his hearing only.

Takashi laughs manically, hysterically, shrill in your ear as he presses the knife, getting ready to slice. You try to mouth ‘it’s okay’ to Sugawara but it seems to make his anger rise even more.

Takashi raises the knife again and lifts it high to get ready to end your life. A mocking salute is heard from him.

And that’s when you hear the sound of an arrow pass cleanly by your head.

The sound and feel of blood gushing out will probably be forever ingrained in your memory. You look to the side to see one of Sawamura’s guards with a bow. Behind him is one with a shield and a sword, together with Hinata. You smile at them before your legs give in underneath you.

You expect to hit the ground, given that Takashi’s body is pulling you down with him.

Sugawara scrapes his knees as he tries to run to you so fast that he stumbles. The last few steps are crawled but he reaches you before your upper body falls further down, grabbing a hold of your shoulders.

Panicked, one-syllable words are thrown at you, his behavior mirroring yours when he was stabbed. You almost laugh. His hands search your face and wipes your tears and drags stray hairs away from your face. You’re about to open your mouth and make a mother hen joke when his lips are colliding onto yours.

You’re rigid at first before you relax your mouth and mold your lips to fit his. Right as you’re starting to enjoy the feeling, he pulls away, apologies thick on his tongue, panic laced in his voice. He hasn’t gotten very far away from you before you lean forward to kiss him back.

You’re rougher, and your teeth clash, the kiss much more undignified than when he initiated it, but it’s no less perfect to you. When he pulls away, slower this time, you let him, searching his eyes. He still looks terrified and his breathing is still panicked, “I thought I’d lost you.” he admits. You smile and kiss him again, this time short and sweet, “oh, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

Behind you, you hear the bellowing laugh of the guard who shot the arrow. You think his name might be Nishinoya. Sawamura walks up to them – he puts a hand on your shoulder on the way and smiles at you.

“Nishinoya.” Sawamura then says gratefully, and you make a mental note of giving that man a title as well. Nishinoya yells, “I told you guys I’d always have your back as the Guardian Deity!” you hear Hinata’s excitement too as you laugh and rest your head on Sugawara’s shoulder. Then, a stray tear slips past your defenses, “is it over?” you croak out, almost too afraid to ask. Sugawara laughs airily, like he can’t believe it either, but he rests his head on yours, “yes, your majesty.”

You’re glad to have found the truth, relieved that you can now let your father go knowing what has happened. The steps in front of you are also now clear, like he’s paved them for you before he left.

You smile into Sugawara’s shoulder and close your eyes. It’ll be okay.

My cat’s final contribution. He thanks you for reading his words and for your kind feedback in earlier chapters. He knows his words are superior to mine and CLEARLY is what’s made you all come back to this work:

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#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #hq x you #haikyuu x you #nohr.writing #whew i really hope yall like it [pleading emoji] [profusely sweating]#i feel so bad abt the delay which in turn makes me feel like it has to be BETTER bcos u waited so long which is. a viscious cycle #I ALSO HAVE SO MCUH LORE FOR AIRI!!!!! U WONT FUCKING BELIEVE LMFAO

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