#im actually really proud of this. its not perfect but I had fun making it and I think the end result turned out alright!
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First time making an edit of any kind, but they are everything to me <3
#also I could not stop connecting them to this song#'late night watching television'? a lyric about someone's eyes? CRJ wrote this song about them#im actually really proud of this. its not perfect but I had fun making it and I think the end result turned out alright!#nbc community#troy barnes#abed nadir#trobed#community edit#troy and abed#community
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streamer!ellie headcanons
warnings: yo no se
content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥
authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….
- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.
- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!
- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm
“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”
“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”
- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING
- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time
- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)
- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)
- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔
- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream
- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!
- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her
- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE
“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”
- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL
- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit
- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪
- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”
- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them
“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”
- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.
- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.
“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.
you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.
the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.
- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.
pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine
minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad
rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL
and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.
creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE
- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY
- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔
- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂
- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded
- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳
- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?
- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.
- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.
“what a coincidence.”
- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.
- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.
“im just letting you win.”
“beginners luck.”
but shes SO COCKY when she beats you
“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”
“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”
- definitely helps you build your own pc.
- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.
“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“
“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”
“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”
- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)
- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”
#ellie williams x reader#streamer!ellie#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie x you#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams headcanons#tlou#tlou part 2#the last of us#the last of us part 2#tlou fic#tlou fanfiction#tlou headcanons#tlou x reader
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orbit of yours !
"power couple, really?" "you have to listen to me!"
synopsis: park jisung has always admired you. hardworking, effortlessly beautiful, talented, humble— you're pretty much the personification of the word 'perfect' (you would disagree though), but your relationship has never gotten past "admirers that occasionally exchange words", so jisung has vanquished the idea of possibly being in love with you because of your lack of interactions, he's just an avid admirer of yours! so when a few accidents and mishaps force (more like drive) the two of you to be in the same room more than you ever had in the past, the idea doesn't just remain a random fantasy crafted by jisung's mind, it becomes reality.
pairing: park jisung x male!reader
genre: high school au, acquaintances to friends to lovers, photographer!reader x soccer player!jisung, fluff, kinda comedy (im not funny), mutual pining, literally no angst, fast burn lowkey, sungchan helps reader realize his feelings and it's hilarious
warnings: swearing, mentions of burnout, oblivious bitches deny their feelings for a good 10k words, this is fucking cheesy, the nightmare which is senior year
word count: 12.2k
notes: GOOD LORD IT IS FINALLY DONE! i don't wanna be overdramatic or anything but this is genuinely one of my most favorite works ever, if you couldn't tell i am VERY jisung biased and im so happy to finally be done with this because it's honestly been so fun to write 🙁 i didn't beat the xiaojun fic in terms of words but this the second longest fic i have ever written and for my jisung debut its impressive that there is absolutely NO ANGST here, i'm just very proud of myself for this and i hope people like reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.. this is for all the park jisung lovers 👍
"WHEN WILL YOU ACTUALLY GET A PARTNER?" chenle asks the question so many times that jisung assumes the sentence has been programmed into his brain. what is it— like the 3rd time this week? he thinks chenle might be more obsessed with his love life than he is with actual important things, like college, graduation preparations, his role as a member of the student council, anything but jisung's uneventful love life, because that was probably the least interesting thing going on in his own life at the moment. "come on jisungie! i heard aejung has a crush on you!" he lets out a familiar groan, giving his friends a 'cut it out' look. "i don't really care about that kind of stuff.."
he hears all the frustrated sighs from his friends, and jisung just chuckles. he knows about the many surprisingly many— people who find themselves attracted to him. he acknowledges the fact that he has a lot of admirers, that a lot of people would perceive themselves as lucky to be in a relationship with him, he isn't new to the idea at all, he doesn't really get what makes him so attractive, such an eyeopener to his fellow students, but he mostly accepts the gifts given to him by his so called "admirers" nonetheless, not wanting to make them disappointed.
now, he says mostly because there are just times where he has no choice but to turn them down. some people get into their own heads too much, and he doesn't want to give some of them false hopes by accepting their gifts. that happened once, where a girl thought the two of them were dating because he decided to accept her gift as a sign of appreciation, that's when jisung learned that he couldn't just accept any and all gifts given to him by admirers who so greatly wanted a chance with him. jisung isn't so concerned about gifts, he wants a person who will be psychically and emotionally present for him, not someone who'll just buy him random things.
"it's gotten a little annoying.. all the confessions" jisung mutters, closing the textbook he had been jotting in. "they're nice yeah but some people just take it too far" he finally finishes, earning some confused looks from his friends. he just shrugs, shoving the textbook he had previously been jotting in into his backpack.
"but you're just so boring!" chenle whines, pressing his cheek against jisung's shoulder. jisung doesn't even try shaking him off, knowing that any of his attempts will be useless. "come on! all these people who would love to be with you and your still a lonely little loser!"
"loser? oh come on!"
"you know i'm right!"
jisung scoffs, lightly shoving chenle. while yeah, it's nice to have a lot of people admire him, everyone expects him to do this and that and act a certain way. it's like they enjoy perpetuating a false image onto him rather than actually admiring him for who he really is, and jisung doesn't think he should give people like that the time of day, they piss him off more than anything.
he's a little lost in his thought when a familiar voice sounds in his ears, a couple of giggles following the sound. "you're too funny y/n!" one of them shouted, poking a familiar figure in the shoulder, and jisung's eyes fall on you immediately, as if on instinct. you were looking as you always did, a familiar dslr camera hanging from your neck, that polite smile on your face as your friend continues poking your shoulder.
lately, you'd been quite the topic of interest among your fellow schoolmates. now that's not abnormal at all, you somehow always manage to be the talk of the town in school, you could do the smallest thing and somehow people could still make huge talk about it.
jisung would never say it, not out loud or even in mutters to himself, but he's always held a unique admiration for you, one he doesn't think he could actually put into words. there's something about you that pulls jisung in, like your a magnet and he's an oblivious piece of metal, slowly getting closer and closer to you without being able to do anything about it.
everything about you is beautiful. your eyes are a beautiful brown color, your smile is a beautiful stretch that shows off your perfect white teeth, your hair is a beautiful mix of raven and brunette. oh, and your voice is so beautiful too, it's so soft, gentle, but also deep.
you're like an angel.
at least to jisung you are.
it's pretty funny, actually, your so wrapped up in your own things that you barely notice the sheer amount of people who want to date you. you don't acknowledge romantic advances a lot, and even when you do, it always ends in rejection. you talk a lot, and your words are always pure and witty, your laughter is natural, your smile is contagious.
but.. jisung doesn't like you. he only likes you in the friend kinda way, he just wants to be friends with you. you look nice! smell nice, dress nice, speak nice..
jisung knows a lot more about you than his friends do. despite the fact that the two of you have never officially deemed yourselves "friends", he's always known little facts about you, as you him. the two of you have been going to school together for seven years, so the idea of not knowing anything about each other seems ridiculous.
you're a photographer, your favorite color is blue, specifically lighter shades, your favorite subject is history, your lucky number is 2 because of your birthdate being 02/02/02, your favorite flowers are daisies, you don't really enjoy sports, but if you were to choose one to play, it'd be baseball, and you want to go to college for journalism.
but jisung can't say that he likes you, because even if you two know all these things about each other, you've never considered yourselves "friends", all you do is admire from afar—
and when you do interact, it's just short and sweet sentences exchanged between you two, mostly because the both of you are so busy, that you can't afford to just stop and talk. sometimes, jisung wishes his life was just a little less hectic and he could stop and talk to you, because that's what he wants to do.
"what's with you?" jisung immediately yelps as chenle flicks his forehead, and he resists the urge to punch the older in the face. "gawking at y/n? really?"
"i'm not—" jisung hates that he feels his face burn. "i'm not gawking, i'm just.. i was just looking at him".
"looking at him with hearts in your eyes".
jisung scoffs at chenle's audacity, as if he wasn't doing exactly that a good few minutes ago. he would never admit it out loud before, so why should he admit it now? he'd never live it down if anybody ever found out..
"you know.." chenle begins, tapping his finger onto the desk in front of him. "you two would be a great couple" and the words are enough to make jisung roll his eyes once again. "a power couple!"
"power couple, really?" jisung raises an eyebrow, chenle never fails to say something that confuses him. he finds the words to be ridiculous, but his reaction just seems to make chenle even more giddy, because he continues;
"you have to listen to me!" chenle persists, and jisung is about to check out of the conversation completely.
"y/n is a photographer for sports journalism, you play soccer, you've known each for what.. ever? he's pretty, you clearly have the hots for him—"
"i do not!" jisung immediately yells in rebuttal, much louder than he wanted to. "yeah he's.. cute but anyone with eyes can see that, i'm not in love with him or anything".
chenle raises an eyebrow, suspicious, but jisung remains stubborn, crossing his arms as he averts his gaze from his best friend.
yes, you are cute, anybody with two functioning eyes can see that.
"i think park jisung might have a crush on you".
at the words, you look up from your camera, meeting eyes with your close friend, sungchan. you blink, as if dumbfounded, then snicker. "park jisung? are you trying to boost my ego or something?"
you know park jisung, you know about how probably half the students in this room dream of having a chance with him. so many people like park jisung, so many people want park jisung.
and if you think about it, you can't exactly blame them for that..
"don't laugh! i'm serious! he looked like he was about to devour you, did you see his eyes!?"
the words just get another laugh out of you, the words seem ridiculous in your eyes, because why would park jisung, beautiful, talented, striking park jisung have a crush on you? in your eyes, your pretty much nothing to him.
"okay.. why would park jisung ever be interested in me?" you ask, rearranging your camera as you raise an eyebrow at sungchan, who simply deadpans at you, that familiar 'are you serious?' look in his eyes.
"okay let me see, your smart, pretty, everyone likes you at this point, also— the two of you are pretty much perfect for each other! you'd be a power couple!"
you furrow your eyebrows, a power couple? you'd never heard that phrase used to talk about somebody your friends had been "shipping" you with, your not even sure if you can even consider yourself friends with jisung, because the two of you can never actually talk to each other without someone coming up and interrupting the interaction.
you'd love to just be able to talk to park jisung, just the two of you, one on one.
"power couple? that's funny.."
"you think everything is funny" ironically, you laugh at your friends words. "this could be like— your only chance at having an actual romantic connection with someone".
"i don't care that much about romance, chan" you muse, humming as you turn off your camera. your eyes wander over to jisung, who is very much distracted by something stupid chenle is saying, he's laughing about something, laughing hard too.
there is no reason for him to look so pretty as he laughs like a maniac..
he's cute, you say in your mind, he is absolutely adorable.
"WHAT DID YOU GUYS GET ON THAT STATISTICS TEST FOR SONG?" a boy from the same year and member of the soccer team along with jisung inquired. they sat on the bleachers in front of field, watching as the baton club practices. they have to practice this week, unfortunately, so jisung's schedule had become tight and packed, he barely had any free time these days, it was all exams, college tours, last minute extracurriculars, and practice, practice, practice. "i got a b plus" one of his classmates responds, the other responded; "i got a b on mine". jisung was very far removed from the current conversation, his eyes on a familiar trio of sports journalists on the other side of the field, a trio which included you, mesmerizing you. he sees you often these days, with that same dslr camera around your neck, a pretty smile stuck on your face.
"you, jisung! what score did you get?" one of his classmates asks, but jisung was occupied, so he didn't answer. a tap on his shoulder makes jisung snap out of his staring fit, and he blinks a few times, assessing where he is. "what?"
"we were asking about the marks on the recent statistics test!"
"ah" jisung presses his lips together. "i got an a plus" he says the words casually, but it causes for a cheer to be sounded by his fellow classmates, who shook him and slapped his back supportively.
"you're so smart jisungie!"
the praise from his classmates get a smile out of jisung, but he isn't focusing on that, his attention is on you. even with how your across the field, he can clearly see all of your features, the sun shining on your face makes you look majestic, like an actual angel, jisung isn't sure why he's even focusing so much on your face, but he can't focus on anything else, because his eyes just naturally always wander over to you.
"will this ever finish?" you inquire, pertaining to the baton club, who were still on the field even after they were supposed to get off. "i'm supposed to take photos of the soccer players for my editorials.." you mutter, it'd be horrible if you couldn't even deliver on the promise you made to your superiors.
"they're probably going to split the field" your fellow sports journalist, taehyun says. a small groan escapes your lips, you're annoyed, you hope this doesn't interfere with the photos you have to take, it'd be horrible if you just ended up doing the same thing all over again. "see? baton club is taking one side and the soccer team takes the main area because they need to start practicing now".
"they look so cute! i've always wanted to be apart of the soccer team!" lee sohee exclaims, and you turn towards him, a look of interest on your face. he attentively watches the boys, humming to the song that's playing. "why didn't you join them then?" you inquire, interest peaked.
sohee smiles at you, readjusting his camera and fixing his posture. "i enjoyed writing the editorial articles more" he shrugs. "wanted to try out but i missed the tryouts because eunseok hyung would have killed me if i missed anton's recital" at the words, you laugh, used to the behavior from the older boy.
"maybe next year".
"you'd fit in perfectly!" taehyun muses, and sohee brightens up, seemingly loving the words.
"really!? that's what seunghan tells me too!" he cheers at the words, looking proud of himself. "i'd look cute in that uniform though.."
you chuckle at sohee's word, finding him to be absolutely adorable. "yeah, you definitely would" you ruffle his hair, smiling at the giggle which sounds from the boy.
"i'm gonna go get a closer look at them" you say, motioning towards the soccer team. taehyun nods and watches as you get closer to the field, not super close, but close enough that your camera can capture a good view of the soccer team. you narrow your eyes, pointing your camera at the busy boys who are doing their usual routine, the viewfinder shows jisung in all his glory.
you take pictures, zooming in and out. you don't mean to put all the focus on jisung, he's just too alluring to not be the center of attention. he's such a natural, he's just so amazing, you can't not focus on him.
[click.]
and another shot, another one as jisung scores the goal. jisung's posture was perfect, his back straight, chin high as he wore an angelic smile. jisung hears the clicking of the camera, and looks to his left to see you, in the viewfinder you see jisung looking in your direction, you pause for a moment and notice a baton heading straight towards him.
"jisung watch out!" you yell, at the words, he tilts his head.
you quickly take the strap of the camera off your neck, throwing it until it landed right beside your fellow journalists, who looked as confused as jisung did. you ran as fast as you could, grabbing jisung's wrist and pulling him close to you.
the baton managed to hit the ground instead, and jisung shrieks as he loses his balance, toppling forward. he quickly grabs onto the closest thing to him.
you.
you lowered your arms to catch jisung, and you feel him hold onto the sleeves of your blazer, one of your arms on his stomach, the other on his waist. all his weight was in your arms, causing for you to lose balance too.
"shit—" you swear, falling onto your back. jisung fell on top of you, the grass tickling his skin. your back immediately hits the grass, and your head hits the ground softly, but your arms remain around jisung. jisung's hands were still on your arms, his upper body laid on top of yours, his head was buried into your shoulder, and he was sat in between your legs.
jisung takes a sharp breath, a look of worry quickly flashes in his eyes as he sees you. "holy shit y/n are you okay!?" jisung asks, pulling away from your prior position and you sit up, opening your eyes to meet his worried ones. jisung kneels, leaning closer to you as he cups your cheeks with his hands. "did you get hurt? is your head okay!?" he asks, or yells, turning your head to inspect for any signs of wounds. you just stare at him, his bangs that messily lay against his forehead, his eyes that glimmered under the sunlight, and his pink lips that you totally just want to lean over and touch with your own.
"yeah.." you whisper, your cheeks squished from the force of jisung's hands.
jisung stops turning your head and sighs. "are you sure?" he asks, still holding your face. you nod, placing one of your hands on jisung's, his are soft, yours are rough, you note. you move his hand and smile. "i'm alright don't worry" you respond, still holding jisung's hand. jisung pursues his lips, and he extends his hand out, pulling you up from the ground. you let go of his hand, dusting off your pants.
"jesus y/n" taehyun's voice sounds from behind you, and you finally glance away from jisung, eyes focused on your friend. "are you okay? your not injured are you?"
"i'm fine.." you mumble again, blinking as taehyun suddenly hands you your camera. ah, he'd picked it up for you. you take it, inspecting it to make sure it's not broken.
"is the camera okay?" jisung inquires, looking over your shoulder to stare at it.
luckily, it wasn't damaged because it had fallen on the soft grass. "it's still working" you respond, and the two boys beside you let out a sigh of relief, with taehyun placing a hand on his chest.
"jisung! come back here!" his coach quickly yells, jisung looks to you, then back to his teammates. "thanks, i owe you" he says before running back towards his group, fetching the soccer ball he'd left on the ground prior.
"wow your like a hero!" sohee exclaims, shaking your shoulder with a smile. you just let out a nervous laugh, scratching your arm. you give one last glance at jisung before you feel your face heat up excessively, so you quickly turn away, putting your camera back around your neck.
"we should go back in now" you say, you don't say any more words as you quickly make your way towards the doors. your friends blink, exchanging glances in confusion, but they quickly follow you back inside.
"y/n! wait up!"
jisung watches you three leave, feeling his heart racing against his chest.
what the hell just happened? he asks himself.
"jisung are you okay!?" a very familiar voice shrieks. jisung turns to meet his fellow teammate jooyeon, looking concerned as ever.
"i'm alright, thanks for asking" he answers, gaze lowering down to his nails, which he quickly starts picking.
"are you sure? you looked like you hit your head pretty hard" the younger boy, as always, just wants to make sure jisung isn't lying, he's genuine like that. he pokes jisung's forehead, as if he was inspecting him.
"seriously, i'm fine" jisung lowers his hand, giving him his default 'i'm okay' smile. "y/n cushioned the blow anyway.."
"you were so close to him!" jisung startles as keum donghyun comes out of nowhere. "how did it feel? was it like a dream come true?"
"i—" jisung is speechless, he closes his mouth and blinks a good seven times before even actually assessing the question.
how did it feel?
jisung doesn't know how to express it. he didn't want to think about it in that way because you'd just done such a good deed, you saved him from flying metal going straight towards his head, he shouldn't have been thinking about the lack of distance between you two, he shouldn't have been staring at your lips, and he shouldn't have been thinking about kissing you.
his face must be so unbearably red right now.
"don't ask that! it was just very abrupt.. also, i can't think of him like that! he saved me from a flying baton, i'm just grateful for him".
jooyeon hums in agreement, slapping donghyun's shoulder for him ever asking such a thing. "that's right, you should probably get him a token of appreciation or something".
jisung blinks, trying to imagine what he should ever gift you. he truly has no idea, he's not sure if he should go over and beyond, or just give you a little gift as to not intimidate you. "i can't really think of anything, i don't want to overwhelm him or something, he just wanted to do a nice thing.."
"i'm sure he'll be appreciative of anything!"
at the words, jisung just sighs, smiling.
what a hero, l/n y/n— you really are something, he thinks.
"yeah— i'll think about it".
"good! back to practice now!"
jisung doesn't think he will ever fully be able to focus on practice, though.
"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN RAN OVER BY A TRAIN" the words from the older boy, yang jeongin, snap you out of your polaroid staring daze. you flinch just the slightest, eyes peeling away from the scattering pictures which litter your desk. you rub your eyes, clearing your throat as you quickly gather all of the photos on your desk, hoping the eye bags present on your face weren't completely obvious. knowing jeongin though, they were definitely obvious. "thanks for the kind words" you respond sarcastically, a small eye roll accompanying your words. the older boy snickers, situating himself beside you, a teasing smile on his face. he props his legs up, blinking at you. "seriously though, you look like you haven't slept in years, are you alright?"
"i'm as alright as someone looking to pursue journalism can be.." you mutter back, placing the photos which were previously on your desk into your backup, a small sigh escapes your lips. "all of my applications are still pending.."
"seriously? i assume you would've been accepted into any of those schools by now!"
"you know how it all goes, they get hundreds— heck, thousands of applications every day, i just have to be patient".
jeongin raises an eyebrow, then just shrugs at you, humming. "there's no need to worry, y/n, you'll get into a good school".
you chuckle at his words, he totally read your mind when it came to that. "i'm not worried about anything" you lie; "i'll be okay, i know".
but do you?
your absolutely tired the whole entire day, you tried your best to focus in your classes, but you couldn't help your head slipping down and the way you almost slipped off to dreamland whilst your teachers were asking you very much audible questions.
"did you sleep last night?" sungchan asks you in the middle of your afternoon break, poking your arm as if to wake up. "you look like a zombie.."
"i slept a few.. hours?" your tone is very much a questioning one, as if you didn't even believe your own words. "i don't know, i was too busy fighting with lin, apparently i'm not good enough at what i do to consider journalism".
paired with the lack of response to your several applications, you weren't having the best week, it was all becoming just a little too much for you.
graduation is just too far away..
"anyway! did you choose the photos you'll put in the editorial yet?"
you think, for a while. you felt as if you had stared at so many polaroids by this point, that they're probably going to start appearing in your dreams, with the lack of sleep, constant flashing of cameras and just news news news, you've really had no time to focus on other things.
"i haven't even found time to think about the editorial" you whine, a weary sigh escaping your lips as you think about how pissed off your higher up is gonna be if you almost miss the deadline once again. "is the deadline coming up?"
"well— is four days a close deadline for you?"
you gasp, loudly, almost throwing your camera across the hallway. "four days!? four days until the deadline seriously!?"
you usually aren't like this. you are usually very calm, cool, and collected, but your week has been just the definition of a shit storm, and everything just seems getting worse and worse.
"hey, it's okay!" sungchan immediately replies, hoping to reassure you. he places a hand on your shoulder, a smile coming to his face. "it's not like this is anything new, it'll all be fine, you only have to choose two pictures anyway".
you sigh, rubbing your temples. "yeah" you breath. "it'll be fine, fine" you repeat, nodding your head as you relax yourself.
the hallway is crowded, not crowded crowded, but crowded enough that you couldn't help but begin counting the heads around you.
your eyes get stuck on a familiar figure across the hall.
park jisung, smiling and laughing with his friends. you get lost in a trance of admiring him, even though you can clearly hear sungchan talking to you. all your attention is immediately on him, and a small smile spreads across your face as you observe him, being himself.
there is absolutely no reason for him to be so breathtaking while just talking with his friend!
you are so distracted, and you don't mean to get stuck in this little reverie as you stare at the boy that you totally do not have a crush on.
he hasn't really left your mind, instead of just floating around in there like he'd been before that whole prior incident, now he occupies a whole subsection of your mind in recent days. you could be with your other friends, and all of a sudden your mind would wander off to jisung, or you could be in class and he just pops into your head.
you never thought you'd be one to get distracted easily, but you've clearly been proven wrong by just the alluring aura of park jisung.
you startle when jisung turns your way, making eye contact with you. he smiles upon noticing you, his eyes practically lighting up, and he waves at you. your a little taken aback, but jisung doesn't wait to see you wave back, just turning back towards his friend and continuing his previous conversation.
"what was that?"
"what was what?"
you quickly look over at sungchan, who had just witnessed that whole entire scene. he looks at you like you just grew a second head, and your face begins to burn as the realization dawns on you.
"you and park jisung!?"
your quick to try and sputter out a response, but you shake your head, face excessively heating up, it's probably red at this very moment. "there is nothing going on between us!"
"that doesn't seem like nothing!"
you realize how guilty you look right now. with your red face and constant insistence that there is absolutely nothing going on, those are traits the guiltiest of people display, and it all just makes you look even more guilty with how your face gets even more red.
(you must look like you're dying right now).
"it's just a friendly exchange!"
"not while your looking at him with hearts in your eyes!"
he was completely calling you out, and he was right. you were staring at jisung like he was an angel that had graced your presence, you stare at him like he's a saint and everyone else doesn't matter, as if he's the only person in the room. "i— i wasn't! i was just zoned out and he just waved at me to say hi!"
sungchan narrows his eyes suspiciously at you, totally not buying it. "uh huh, sure" his voice conveys disbelief. "just know, i'm onto you y/n".
you nudge him in the shoulder, seriously wanting to change the topic. "yeah yeah whatever" you cross your arms as you mutter the words, you're sure if you take one more glance at jisung, you won't be able to look away, so you just clear your throat and walk the other way, face still red as sungchan teases you the whole entire time.
maybe if you glanced back, you'd see jisung watching as you left..
JISUNG WAS REALLY HOPING HE'D BE ABLE TO catch you before school dismissed. you two haven't genuinely had an actual talk since you saved him from the flying baton heading straight towards his head. all you two have done is give smiles, waves, and mutter small greetings to each other in the hallway. he had to admit, it upset him in just the slightest, because he really did want to just have a conversation with you (of course, he isn't exactly sure he'd be able to get through a conversation with you without blushing like a madman anyway), but your schedules just kept conflicting, so even catching a glimpse of you around the campus has become difficult for him to do.
he doesn't want to waste any opportunity he has in his hands—
"y/n!"
when jisung sees you across the hall, he realizes that he shouldn't take this chance for granted. you turn around at the call of your name, smiling as you see the others making his way towards you. jisung runs a hand through his hair, hoping he isn't making anything awkward. "jisung hi, do you need something?"
you smile politely at him, a smile so beautiful it seems like it could get rid of all the problems in the world. jisung loves your smile, he could stare at it for hours, is that creepy? he hopes it's not creepy..
"oh uh—" the words he'd been planning to say somehow get caught in his throat, but he clears his throat and proceeds. "i was wondering if i could walk you home?"
you blink, puzzled by the question. why would he want to walk you home? your mind begins to wander, trying to figure out why he'd want to do such a thing.
can't you just ask y/n? stop being an idiot..
"why?"
you don't mean for your words to come out that way, and you're almost afraid that you made jisung uncomfortable with your tone of voice, but he instead just smiles, squashing any of your bad thoughts. you love jisung's smile, you think it's underrated, so little people talk about it and the fact shocks you, you could probably compliment his smile for hours—
but that sounds just a little creepy.
"i just want to accompany you—" —and this is my only excuse to be around you— "do something nice for you after you did something nice for me".
the words make you pause. he's just.. so thoughtful huh? you've never heard of someone wanting to repay you for being nice, it's actually a little strange if you think about it.
"jisung you don't have to reward me for doing something nice.."
"it'd be great to walk with you, though, you make good company".
that's it? that's really it?
you're not sure why you're surprised about that, maybe it's just the idea that he literally searched for you just to say this, he truly just wants to walk you home, he truly just wants to spend time with you.
he thinks i make good company, just the thought alone is enough to make you giggle in your head. your inner thoughts sound ridiculous, but you can't help them.
"if you don't want me to it's totally oka—"
"no no no" you immediately cut into his sentence, hoping that didn't come off as desperate as it sounded. "i'm glad you offered to walk me home, i'd love to walk with you too".
you unsuccessfully try to mutter those last few words, a sudden shyness taking over you. jisung smiles, glad, no, elated at your agreement. he doesn't know why he's that happy, but he hopes it isn't clear and evident, he'd never live it down.
after bidding a goodbye to your friends, and telling sungchan you'd make sure to choose the photos for your editorials, you dragged jisung out of the school doors, much to your and jisung's surprise, as well as the shock of a few of your classmates, he made sure to eye the both of you suspiciously.
"what interested you in photography?"
a scene like this is something jisung thought he'd never get to, being able to talk to you, one on one. just the two of you sharing a simple conversation is what he's wanted for an uncharted amount of time, even with how straightforward it is, the two of you could never really find time to converse normally.
when jisung asks the question, you almost think you heard him wrong. he genuinely wants to know? in a way, you feel like you've always been just the slightest bit boring, yeah you wanna do journalism and love taking aesthetically pleasing photos but you've never considered what you do to be a talent by any means.
you pick at your fingers, looking down at the ground instead of at jisung. "it's an interest i picked up from my mother, i've always been shocked how she could just do that, you know? i love videography and stuff like that as well, i love how one can capture so much with just a single camera".
your words intrigue jisung, and he listened the whole entire way, not interrupting you once. he found a smile crossing his face at the clear display of passion for your creative work, he loves the way you put it into words. god if he didn't admire you before, he surely did now.
"what about you? you're pretty much good at everything, what drew you to the adrenaline rushing excitement of soccer?"
jisung pauses, allowing himself to let out a small snicker at the question. "i don't really enjoy soccer".
you raise an eyebrow. "oh?"
jisung laughs again, your tone of voice amusing him. "don't say it like that.. it's not that i hate it, i'm just not as into it like everyone expects me to be, i got onto the school team and i've been stuck there ever since" there isn't exactly distaste in jisung's tone, he just states it casually, like how it is. his voice is just simple, mundane, he doesn't dislike soccer, it's just not what he's looking forward to do.
you love his honesty.
"i'm into other things in a much more passionate sense, like dance, soccer is just a hobby" he finally finishes, pulling his sleeves over his arms as he avoids eye contact with you.
"so no professional soccer player park jisung?"
"i think i'll leave it to the other guy to be known for that".
you chuckle at his words, okay, he's funny (you knew that already, you just had to reiterate it in your head). god how can a guy be so perfect? you get why people are so into jisung, he's charming even without trying. you feel like the luckiest guy on earth knowing he asked to walk you home.
"y/n, i'm a very.." jisung pauses, as if trying to articulate the words he was about to say. "i really admire you a lot".
you almost lose it.
park jisung, beautiful, talented, hardworking park jisung admires you? he is an admirer of yours? you don't even know what to say, you try your best to sputter out a response but your brain is practically malfunctioning. your face goes red, and you go silent for a few minutes.
"i don't get it" is what you say, and jisung just cocks his head towards the side, observing you. "what's so admirable about me?"
"do you want a list?"
oh i'd love that. "i don't think you should waste your time".
"i wouldn't be wasting my time" jisung smiles, his gaze focused on you and only you, there's a way he's looking at you that keeps you still, unable to look away from him. "i never get the chance to tell you, i'd love to talk about everything i admire about you".
when did jisung get so bold? he'll never know where this random confidence came from, but he has an opportunity, he can't let it go to waste. he has to bring it up to you.
"what i do is nothing incredible—"
"i would disagree".
you should be angry that jisung interrupted you, but you found yourself smiling at his words. he's so generous, he doesn't have to tell you this, he doesn't have to compliment you like this, but he's doing it on his own accord, he wants to.
"okay then.. is it a good time to tell you that i also feel the same?"
jisung's ears go red, so red that it looks like smoke is gonna start pouring out of them. he is shocked, absolutely speechless. you admire him? does that mean he's gotten it all wrong these past few years? does that mean you return his feelings as well—
wait what?
"oh really?"
the prior confidence jisung had when telling you about his admiration has now all fizzled away, his voice almost cracks as he tries to register your words, and thank god it doesn't.
"it's kind of like what you said, you're amazing, a very admirable person, i know you don't really think of yourself like that but i do, and it's nice to be able to tell you up front".
jisung remains silent, but you don't mind, you just give him a smile and continue walking forward, allowing for him to catch up to you.
"is that actually true?"
"why would i lie to you?" you turn around, your whole body facing him. you begin walking backwards and wait for jisung's reply to your question. "don't give me that look".
jisung frowns, a playful one, he sends you a cute little glare that makes you giggle. he's absolutely adorable, you think in your head, he's the cutest person ever right now.
"you admire me?"
"yep".
"more than i admire you?"
"definitely, and don't even try to argue with me".
jisung opens his mouth to do exactly that, but you stop, turning around as you make it to the front of your house. "okay well, thank you for walking me home, ji".
jisung raises an eyebrow, noting down the nickname in his head. it's a common nickname, but he loves the way it sounds coming from you, he loves that you didn't just drop his full name.
"it's no problem.."
"i—"
you're cut off by the sound of the door opening, and your met with the face of your mother, whose face immediately brightens at the sight of you. you smile at her, and jisung just kinda stands there awkwardly.
"hi honey" she wraps her arms around you, and you let her, leaning your head onto her shoulder. "i thought you were staying late today?"
you shake your head. "not today, it's friday remember?"
"ohhh, yeah".
jisung glances down at the ground, playing with his feet. he doesn't know what to say, he doesn't want to interrupt the conversation you're having with your mother—
but he doesn't have to say anything, because your mother pipes up.
"oh! and who might this be?" she narrows her eyes at jisung, cogs in her brain seem to turn but then she snaps his fingers and gasps, seemingly getting it. "oh my god! park jisung?"
jisung smiles, a little laugh escaping his lips. "that is me".
"holy, you've changed so much? the last time i saw you you were barely up to my knees!"
at the sound of your mothers words, you give jisung a teasing stare, one which he quickly turns away from. "you and y/n are finally friends? i was wondering when it'd happen.."
your face goes bright red at the words, and an awkward chuckle escapes your lips. "seems he was too, he always talked about it—"
"haha! what!? that's hilarious mom!" you quickly cut in, not wanting her to talk about your former ramblings about park jisung, park jisung who was right beside you. "yeah okay, jisung i'll see you monday?"
jisung nods, a little too desperately for his liking, luckily you don't notice. "yeah, monday, have a good weekend, y/n".
you smile, blood rushing through your cheeks. "be safe".
he gives a small wave and turns around, beginning the walk back towards his home.
"he's such a nice kid, you sure you're just friends?"
your jaw pretty much drops, and you give your mother a look you don't think you've ever shared with her before. "yes! just friends!"
"hmm, sure".
"WHO ARE THOSE FOR?" CHENLE asks as he immediately notices the goodies in jisung's hands. he raises an eyebrow suspiciously at his best friend, examining the bouquet of flowers and box jisung held. jisung ignores him for a couple of minutes, placing the box in his locker and closing it behind him. "for someone" he just replies, hoping he could just remain vague instead of telling chenle about his true plans. the older narrows his eyes, clearly curious about this 'someone'. he flicks jisung in the forehead, resulting in a yelp from the other, who glares. "ow! what was that for?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing his forehead, a frown now coming to his face.
"what you're hiding stuff from me now?" chenle rolls his eyes at jisung's frown. "who are those flowers for? you got a boyfriend or something?"
chenle was right in assuming it was a boy that was making him go crazy, but you aren't his boyfriend (not yet at least, he's trying, really). he doesn't want to exactly divulge his plans to his nosy best friend yet, just because he'd go around telling everybody he could about what jisung was doing, he didn't want anything to be spoiled.
"they're for.. y/n".
jisung winces the moment he says those words, because chenle goes absolutely crazy.
"FOR WHO!?"
jisung is quick to slap a hand over chenle's mouth, glaring at him for how loud he said those words. "could you be any more obvious?" he asks, gritting his teeth as he continues to glare at his shorter best friend, whose eyes just widen even more. "yes they're for y/n—"
"what are you two dating now?" chenle doesn't care about anything jisung has to say, he slaps his hand away and stares in interest, wanting to know more.
"no! were not dating! it's just—" jisung pauses, how is he even gonna explain this without looking super guilty? blood rushes through his cheeks as he thinks about it, about how these are your favorite flowers, about how you might react. "i wanted to get him something nice! he did a good thing and.."
and i am just so in love with him, i think i might be going insane.
"i just want to do something nice!"
"okay but are you doing something nice or are you getting ready to ask him out?"
jisung's face goes a dangerously red color, and he immediately shakes his head, denial coursing through his veins. "i'm not going to ask him out, i mean— i get why you think that but it's not what it looks like!"
chenle raises an eyebrow, staring at his totally lovestruck best friend. "it sure does seem to be what it looks like".
"chenle—"
"look, jisung, there's no need to deny that you have such an obvious crush on y/n" chenle states like it's a matter of a fact, because it is, they both know it very well, he's better at assessing jisung's feelings than jisung himself is. "he thinks your cute, you think he's cute, you two just need to ask each other out".
"um.." jisung presses his lips together, the two falling into a weird silence. he clutches the daisies in his hands, thinking about you, but he shuts off his thoughts to respond to chenle's little analysis of him.
"i just don't know where we stand, i mean we're barely even friends".
"you two are pretty much already more than friends considering he can't talk to you without looking like he's about to devour you whole".
jisung's face must be an astonishing shade of red right now. "it's not—! i don't know how to explain it okay!?"
"yeah and how are you gonna explain the flowers?" chenle points at the daisies jisung is practically squeezing to death. "other people are probably gonna get another idea".
"well i'll let them think what they want" jisung responds, his only focus is you, who cares what other people think? your his main priority. "y/n is my main focus, i don't care about what other people are saying".
chenle chuckles at his response, oh park jisung is so down bad, he's so in love with you, a kind of love chenle has never seen him have for another person. yes park jisung, love avoiding extraordinaire, is head over heels in love with a boy, chenle cannot believe it.
"okay jisung, go ahead with your wooing y/n mission or something".
at least chenle is supportive.
jisung has to go through so many interrogations to explain to your fellow photographers why he's giving you flowers, while a few of them just shrug and get it, the rest of them make sure to eye him suspiciously while he goes on with his explanation and bright red ears.
he knows most of them probably won't keep their mouths shut, and jisung knows that you told him he shouldn't get you anything for preventing him from getting any future brain damage, but jisung disagrees, he thinks you deserve gifts.
"who are those for?"
your brain doesn't register the flowers, or the connection that they have with your not-so-secret admirer, you just stare at them puzzled. "they're for you!" sohee yells from somewhere else in the room, focused on another important thing.
your eyebrows furrow, and you blink as you stare at the daisies on the table. daisies are your favorite flowers, but everyone knows that! these could be from anyone! you're no stranger to getting random gifts from people, so these could really be from anyone.
but you only have a certain person in mind..
"from who?" you ask, but you really already know who, considering the knowing look sohee sends to you.
"jisung".
of course, you say in your head, your fingers trace the packaging of the bouquet, admiring the pretty flowers before you (the pretty flowers given to you by a pretty boy), a small smile comes to your face as you think about it. you told jisung not to get you anything, but he obviously wasn't going to listen to you, he's made that very clear.
"did he tell you anything?"
sohee doesn't spare you another glance, but you can just tell he's grinning like a madman with the way he's clearly trying to hold in his laughter. "he just told me to make sure to get them to you, he was very insistent".
the teasing tone of your friends voice doesn't go unnoticed by you, and your barely able to stifle your laugh, not at sohee exactly, but at jisung's actions.
of course he didn't listen when you said for him to not get you anything, he remembered what your favorite flowers are, did he spend his weekend thinking about it? you wonder what kind of florists we must've went to.. your mind races with just jisung thoughts, and you're just so lost in them that you don't realize your zoning out.
oh park jisung, why do you have to be so sweet?
"DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO?" YOU immediately ask the moment you come across park jisung in the hallway. the boy blinks, smiling at the sight of you, his face practically brightens at the sight of you. "what do you mean?" he inquired innocently, a small tilt of his head adding to his question. you send him a glare, not a serious one, but it's still a glare. you can't even believe his audacity, for him to look at you with such beautiful eyes, make your knees feel weak without even having to do anything? park jisung is just such a crazy man, you don't know if you can stare at him any longer, you might end up passing out from heat exhaustion (the heat from your face, of course, something that's become so normal for you when around park jisung).
"don't 'what do you mean?' me, i told you not to get me anything!" you complain, lightly shoving jisung's shoulder. "seriously, i said it was fine.." you mumble those words, but jisung just smiles.
"i wanted to get you something anyway, i needed to show you my appreciation somehow".
but just your admiration is enough appreciation for me, just you being around is enough, just you is enough.
your own thoughts weird you out on occasions.
"i told you not to—"
"but i wanted to, it's fine y/n, seriously, just accept my gesture".
you bite your inner cheek, he just always has to be nice, doesn't he? your cheeks flare up and you swear your face goes a shade of red you've never seen before, how does one boy even affect you like this? you don't think you've ever acted like this around any of your other admirers ever..
"ah" a small smile comes to your face. "thank you" you whisper, you're not sure why you get so shy all of a sudden.
"it's no problem" jisung responds, a smile coming to his face. he closes the door to his locker, and then leans onto it. "walk with me?"
you blink, jisung really likes walking with you, huh? is this gonna become your thing? you wouldn't really mind when you think about it.. you enjoy walking with jisung, you just enjoy any time you can spend with jisung.
"what's with you and asking to walk with me?"
"walking with you is just.. nice".
"do i ease your stresses or something?"
your tone is meant to come off as teasing, and your question is mostly unserious, you don't register how you sound like your flirting with jisung, probably because everything just feels so natural with jisung, you love how you feel around him, it's confusing to explain.
"i guess you could say that" jisung's response snaps you out of your jisung focused thoughts, thoughts which are difficult to not get stuck in considering park jisung is constantly occupying your mind these days. "anyway, can you walk with me?"
you pause, tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek. you have class in twenty minutes, and you don't really want to walk back all the way with only five minutes left to make it to class. "i don't know.. chen might kill me".
"please?"
that catches you off guard, you seemingly forget how to think for a second. jisung really wants to walk with you so bad, he's reverting to that easily convincing voice of his? you'd be an idiot to say no, you'd be an idiot to deny anything given to you by park jisung, you sigh in your head.
"okay, fine".
a smile of victory places itself on jisung's face, and he takes your hand, to your own surprise, as the two of you begin making your way down the hall. you wanna bring it up, but you don't want him to let go of you, so you don't. your face goes a bright shade of red, jisung doesn't seem to mind, or maybe he's always wanted to hold your hand, you aren't sure.
you focus way too much on it, on the way it feels, how jisung's soft hands contrast your rough ones, how warm his hands are, you don't want to let go, you don't want him to let go. god, you feel like such a loser, freaking out over a boy holding your hand.
but it's not just a boy, it's park jisung, park jisung makes you feel things you thought you'd never feel before..
"why do you seem so worried?" jisung chuckles, his hand holding yours. he nudges your shoulder lightly, raising an eyebrow.
"because, i don't wanna be late".
jisung snickers, not making fun of you, though, he hopes you don't think that. "have you never skipped a class before?"
your eyes widen as large as saucers, model student park jisung has skipped classes? a small chuckle escaped your lips. "no, i could never bring myself to, it always made me feel strange.."
now it's jisung's turn to look surprised, you laugh again, why does he assume you skip classes? or have even attempted to skip? you wonder what goes through his mind. "are you serious? you've never tried to skip before?"
you scoff, pinching his arm. "i tried to once in the sixth grade because of a dare from friends, but i literally couldn't do it, they called me a wimp for the rest of the year".
"aww sad".
"don't give me your fake pity, also— you've skipped class before!?"
jisung chuckles at your surprise, giving a small smile. "it was a few times as a sophomore, some classes are just so boring i can't resist".
"wow, model student park jisung skips his classes? i cannot believe the information that has been bestowed upon me".
the words, paired with your sarcastic tone made jisung let out yet another snicker, he hopes he's not overdoing it in your eyes, you're genuinely just a very funny person. "oh no! don't use this secret to tarnish my pristine reputation!"
"you're such an idiot".
a cute idiot.
"be quiet, you still love me" jisung rebuts, adding a small nudge to your shoulder along with his words.
it's weird to say, but you like this. even with your totally non-romantic feelings for jisung, you find this nice. is this what dating him would be like? you get to hold hands and joke around in the halls without a care in the world? you think you'd enjoy that, you'd enjoy dating park jisung.
wait what?
you snap out of your thoughts when jisung stops, so you stop too. he lets go of your hand, and you resist the urge to frown, because you don't want to come off as desperate. (but you are desperate, you're so desperate, having park jisung hold your hand was so nice, you want him to hold it again).
"this is my stop, thank you for my walking with me".
the words are simple, basic, but you find your face heating up at them anyway. you clear your throat, not wanting to stay silent any longer. "it was no problem, i couldn't disagree anyway".
jisung laughs, he is so pretty, so pretty without even having to do anything significant. "of course you couldn't" he looks down at his feet. "anyway! have a good day y/n, don't be late to your next class!"
you blink as you watch jisung walk into the auditorium for his next class, you watch as he walks away, standing there for what seems like forever. how could a guy, just a guy affect you so much? what is it with park jisung and making you stop in your tracks? he's mesmerizing, just so easily draws you in.
your eyes widen as you realize the time, you're going to be late for your next class, mr. chen is going to kill you!
and as you totally sprint down the hallway to get to your next class, your mind is racing with thoughts of park jisung the entire time.
"AM I NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?" YOU CAN practically hear the pout in sungchan's voice as he said those words. you place the extra polaroids on your desk, then glance up at your friend, who stares at you with an expression of defeat on his face. you raise an eyebrow, puzzled at what the actual hell he's talking about, he's always just bringing stuff up so randomly, you can't even keep up with what he's referring to now. sungchan just frowns, letting out a groan of frustration as plops down beside you, a small huff adding to his words. you chuckle at the way he decides to present himself, and he groans once again, very frustrated. "where is this coming from?"
"why didn't you tell me about you and jisung".
you pause, an expression of surprise comes to your face, your face which heats up astonishingly quickly. "me and jisung? me and jisung what? we aren't—"
"y/n there's no point in denying it, everyone already knows".
"everyone already knows what?"
"that you and jisung have a thing, it's fine if you don't wanna tell everyone but excluding me? your best friend in the whole entire world from the news?"
"jisung and i aren't dating!" you say immediately, clasping your hands together as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart. why do people even think that? yeah you like park jisung but how did people even reach the conclusion that you were dating? you're not even sure if jisung returns your feelings. "i don't even know where people got that idea.."
"so your constant yearning stares and pitched up giggles are all not apart of that?"
"i don't—" you are definitely showcasing all guilty characteristics, your red face, your shrill voice, and your very obvious lying, sungchan sees right through you, anyone would be able to. "yearning stares are stupid i don't do that!"
"yeah, sure y/n" sungchan sighs, and you groan, screaming into your pillow. "i'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it's disgustingly obvious that you're into jisung, and i mean in a cringy way".
you gasp in offense, turning away from your best friend. you want to remain stubborn, but you can't, of course you can't, how can you even deny your feelings for jisung anymore if other people can now tell that you like him? your face heats up in embarrassment, and you cover your face with your hands. "is it really that obvious?" you mutter, hoping the answer isn't what you think it is.
"yeah, very, i wouldn't even be surprised if the two of you were actually dating and this was a little trick of yours".
sungchan points at you, an accusatory look in his eyes, but he immediately lets it go, because he knows you, and he can tell that you are telling the truth. you don't even have the courage to look at him, still covering your face with your hands. "have you not told jisung how you feel yet?"
your silence tells sungchan everything he needs to know, and the look he gives you is absolutely criminal.
"YOU HAVEN'T!?"
"i haven't found any time too!"
"how much time have you been spending around jisung these days!? you haven't even tried to bring it up to him!"
you let yourself fall to the side, half your body hanging off your bed. "i don't know how to" you whine, mind immediately rushing to thoughts of park jisung, thoughts you probably shouldn't be having. "it's awkward!"
"well i'm sure jisung feels the same with the way he always has to resist the urge to kiss you in the hallway".
"with the way he WHAT!?"
the words are enough to make you rise from your formerly fallen state, a look of astonishment on your face. did jisung really return your feelings? or was sungchan just trying to start something that would end up absolute humiliation?
"y/n, not trying to be rude or anything, but it's so obvious that jisung wants to date you, he doesn't even have to say it for everyone to know!"
you feel like you just discovered the secrets of the universe with those words, park jisung likes you? like likes you likes you? once the realization dawns on you, you gasp loudly.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!? OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SUCH AN IDIOT UGH!"
sungchan watches you freak out, he truly can't believe that he had to tell you for all of it to finally set in.
it's actually pretty funny, and he snickers as he watches you go absolutely ballistic.
"HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" JISUNG ASKS the first recognizable person he sees in the hallway. he hasn't seen any seniors anywhere for a while, but that's because the days keep getting warmer, meaning graduation keeps getting closer, most of the seniors only take two classes and then go on to do their extracurriculars, so they don't really have to spend the whole entire day at school, but it's weird today because he usually always sees you, even when he isn't purposefully looking for you (which has become a common thing for him to do, he's just loves the time he can spend with you). he hopes you aren't absent, because today is friday, and if he doesn't tell you his important news now he's going have to wait an extra two days.
"y/n? uh..." the unfamiliar boy pauses for a moment, as if thinking, and jisung is hoping that it isn't the worst, because he really needs you to be here today. "well i'm not sure where he is actually! probably with his other photographers".
"but he's here right?" jisung doesn't care if he comes off as desperate, his only focus is you, you are his main priority, he doesn't care about the impression he's making on others, he can truly only think about you at the moment.
"yeah! i'm just not sure where exactly!"
"okay thank you!"
the guy gives him a strange look, a mix of teasing and giddy, but jisung walks off too fast to see it, he's set on finding you. he doesn't exactly know where he's supposed to go, he's just hoping to somehow spot you and be able to get you alone.
"what are you rushing for?" chenle comes out of nowhere, noticing jisung's urgency and the way he's clearly focused on something specific strikes him as odd, but he already has an idea of what's making jisung so fidgety. "you're gonna confess your love to y/n or something?"
"yes, actually i am chenle, it'd be great if i could find him, though".
maybe it's jisung's surprising honesty, or the way his main priority is you. chenle finds it amusing how quick the switch flipped, but it's also kind of cute. the usual pessimist, mr 'i don't really care about love' park jisung is down bad for a boy, it's adorable. "have you tried the photography room?"
"where do you think i'm heading?"
chenle chuckles at jisung's attitude, simply smiling and pulling his cheek. "alright then! don't forget to tell me how it goes!"
jisung doesn't spare chenle another glance, just turns back around and focuses on the task at hand, finding you and telling you how he feels.
jisung wonders how you'll react, based on what he's seen, it's not completely guaranteed that you'll reject him, it's probably more likely that you return his feelings rather than don't. does that make him horrible? thinking because you've exhibited the traits of someone who has a crush that you have a crush on him?
maybe you don't like him and he's letting it all get to his head, it all just seems too good to be true.
jisung doesn't even have to go all the way to the photography room, because he bumps right into you whilst on his way there, and a small yelp escapes your lips. "oh my god.. sorry!"
jisung cannot contain his excitement, and his nervousness. there is absolutely nothing to be nervous about, this is y/n. kind, understanding, charming y/n, it's not like he's going to scream at you for telling him you like him. it’ll all be fine.
"it's alright" you whisper, shaking your head for a moment. "i was looking for you" you immediately say, not allowing for jisung to speak before you.
jisung's eyes widen. you were looking for him? it makes his brain go haywire, figurative cogs in his head turning. "that's ironic, i was looking for you too".
jisung swears he can see the red coloring on your cheeks, but he doesn't say anything about it.
"i have to tell you something".
the two of you say that sentence in unison, the same amount of anxiety coursing through your veins, the same red hue on your cheeks, the same look of surprise in your eyes. "you can go first" you whisper, picking at your fingers, you aren't exactly sure if you want to hear what he's about to say.
"are you sure? it seems you have something more important to say.."
"it's fine! really, i can just say it after yo—"
"i'm in love with you".
the words strike you like a punch to the gut, a slap to the face. your stomach drops, your face is burning horribly, and your legs feel like they're about to give in. you cannot believe it, you hope you don't pass out, you hope you don't just die right here, that'd be so embarrassing.
park jisung is in love with you. beautiful, talented, model student park jisung who you've never truly known how you felt about is in love with you. you are so happy, giddy, and it disgusts you, but the disgust is quickly replaced by the feeling of joyousness. park jisung is in love with you, he feels the same way.
"jisung, i'm—"
"it's okay if you don't return my feelings i just wanted to tell you!" is that really what he thinks? that you don't love him back? he must be crazy, you've only ever exhibited reciprocal feelings. "i'll be off now!"
"no! don't go!" you grab jisung's wrist before he can walk away. smart move y/n, you're acting so natural right now. "i just, i return your feelings! i just don't know how to explain it, also my hands are very sweaty right now and i feel gross.."
you let go of jisung's wrist and feel your face get unbearably hotter. it's embarrassing, you feel so embarrassed, but it's park jisung, and jisung just stares at you lovingly. you're so cute, how did it take him this long to tell you how he felt?
"you're so cute".
jisung doesn’t even realize he says the words until you give him that look, and your red face just makes him giggle more. "this isn't— that is not fair! i was supposed to confess first!"
"you're the one who told me to go first!"
"i didn't know you were going to tell me you liked me! i prepared a whole sentence for you and everything!"
you whine, covering your red face with your hands. jisung removes your hands from your face, and a small smile graces his pretty features. he's absolutely gorgeous, he has such a pretty smile, you have the sudden urge to tell him about it. "your smile is beautiful".
now it's jisung's turn to become the red faced lovesick fool. "ah, really?" he responds, voice shaky, hands even more shaky, but they're so soft, your mind always reminds you to note that.
you hum in agreement. "it's very pretty, i can't believe more people don't talk about it".
"well you can talk about it, aren't we technically dating now?"
the question makes you pause. you feel like your about to go insane, you're dating park jisung? park jisung is your boyfriend? this is like a dream come true, a dream you thought would stay a dream and only a dream. "dating? dating! yeah yeah!"
your natural act is not natural at all, you are very nervous, so nervous you feel like your about to collapse onto the floor. "there's no need to be so nervous.."
you groan. "says you!"
"alright y/n" jisung lets go of your hands, much to your dismay, because you frown. he takes note, and reaches over to grab your own once again, intertwining your fingers. "we’re dating, you don't have to go red faced every time i compliment you now".
"but it's you, how do i not?"
jisung sighs, leaning forward and pressing a small peck on your lips. oh he is such a stupid little—
"why would you do that!?"
"i'm sorry!" jisung giggles, he was definitely not sorry. "it was an instinct, i had to!"
"you— ugh!"
park jisung can't just not make you nervous, he's such a crazy man.
one that you love, of course.
"I THINK I LIKE THIS ONE THE MOST.." JISUNG states, admiring the polaroid photos which litter the desk. you hum at his words, rummaging through the box on the counter, you are very much focused on finding that estranged camera taehyun had pointed for you to find. your boyfriend glances up, looking over your shoulder, silently watching as you get frustrated about this stupid camera you couldn't find. "which one?" you inquire, glancing over at him. jisung holds up the polaroid, a picture you'd taken of you and sungchan at the beach when you were nine. a pretty photo, you aren't even sure how you pulled it off. "ah, that is a pretty one" you whisper, and you smile the moment jisung smiles. his smile is so pretty, a cute stretch which is enough to make you smile, even if you feel down.
"what’s with your face?"
"searching for this old camera is pissing me off" you remark, knowing that you have to search for this is just making you even more mad, why do you have to pack the photography room right before graduation? you hate it. "who even left it in here?"
"a former student maybe?"
you close your eyes, sighing. "i need this to be over so much more quickly" you complain, and jisung just laughs at your misery.
"we graduate in a week, y/n, just be patient" the younger pokes your cheek, then he cups your face, trying to make your frown disappear. "an old camera is not the end of the world".
you glance down at jisung's lips, then narrow your eyes. "are you trying to seduce me?" you question, raising an eyebrow.
"no?" jisung responds, adding a small tilt of his head to his words. "do i sound believable?"
"not at all" you say, pushing jisung's hands away and looking back to the box in front of you so you can continue to scour for this camera you have to get for your friend. you continue to search through the box, trying to find this old dslr camera for your friend. "so don't distract me".
"i'm not!" jisung whines, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin onto your shoulder, watching you try to succeed at your mission of finding a camera. "you don't want to give me, your lovely, amazing boyfriend attention?"
you merely roll your eyes at jisung, he's so annoying (in a cute way), you're about to call chenle to drag him away from you, but you also don't want him to let go of you, his arms around your waist make you feel safe, loved, park jisung makes you feel so loved.
"i found it!" you shriek, victory soaring in your voice. "fucking finally".
"okay so can you give me a kiss now?" jisung asks, puckering his lips and leaning closer to you.
he's so desperate, and you are too, it's adorable, park jisung is adorable. "hmm" you pretend to think about it, an inquisitive look making it's way to your face. "nah".
"y/n! that's not fair!" jisung whines, shaking you with his arms that are still around your waist. he frowns, trying to give you his best puppy dog eyes.
you almost give in, but you push him away, taking the camera you'd been searching for. "later, babe".
"you said that this morning!"
you sigh, turning around to stare at the pouting park. the cute pout remains on his face, how can you ever resist him? you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, ruffling his hair. "there, are you happy you big baby?"
"you could do better".
"uh huh, and you could be patient".
jisung frowns once again, but it's not a serious one, just the cute one he likes to do when he pretends to be mad at you. "don't be mad, you know i love you".
jisung does know, he knows that very well. he smiles at you, he's so in love with you, and not even in an embarrassing way, there's nothing embarrassing about this, he feels joyful, a sense of euphoria overtakes him whenever he’s with you.
"i know, i love you too".
and he isn't lying when he says that.
because he truly does.
#park jisung#nct#nct dream#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct drabbles#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream drabbles#nct x reader#nct x male reader#nct dream x reader#nct dream x male reader#park jisung imagines#park jisung x reader#park jisung x male reader#𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!
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here we go again. fifth addition of these outrages changes. this one, in my personal opinion, is the most different from the OG script to the current script as the new line has absolutely zero correlation to the OG script.
OG:
Albus: I liked her, Mum, you know that? I really liked her. Delphi. And she was — Voldemort’s daughter?
Ginny: That’s what they’re good at, Albus — catching innocents in their web.
Current:
Albus: I liked her, Mum, Delphi. Or I thought I did. And she was Voldemort’s daughter.
Ginny: You were confused. And then you found wonderful clarity. And that makes me very proud.
MHMMMM I WONDER WHAT SHE MEANS BY THAT??? she’s such a good mother i love her.
albus’ line changing from “i really liked her “ to now “i thought i liked her”. mhm yeah interesting! doesn’t seem like he even had romantic feelings for her anymore even though that was literally half the whole delphi plot line in the original.
now what if i said ginny says this line pretty much looking/gesturing to scorpius? what would you do then? GIRL IS A SCORBUS SHIPPER FR!!! i think “clarity” can have many different implications. could it mean clarity in the fact he is realising she was evil, could it be his realisation that he didn’t even like her, could it be working out he actually likes his best friend, or is scorpius the clarity albus has found? up for interpretation.
anyways i have no more notes on this its perfection and im very grateful they ended up putting this in.
(i think it’s also important to note that this new line was originally not in the shortened version. broadway has had two different versions of the short version in which this came in the 2nd addition, once the year 4 cast came in november 2022. i have absolutely zero clue as to why they didn’t change it in the first place but it’s just a cute little fun fact.)
#i genuinely need a sit down talk with the writers and ask them what were the reasons for all these changes that have caused me to go insane#i promise im ok!#anyways i hope you all find your clarity#cursed child#hpcc#harry potter and the cursed child#scorbus#albus x scorpius#albus potter x scorpius malfoy#albus severus potter#scorpius malfoy
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Redesigns of @keyunto's god characters!!! I designed their characters around 2021, and i redrew them so i can see how far ive come with my character designing skills!! suffice to say im really proud of myself >:]]
Design notes and old design comparisons below!
I didnt change much with fox girl other than freckles ngl but i will say that i will always love drawing her spiky eyelashes <3 Shes my number one fav design to draw from everyone HAHA
Now THIS design i had fun doing again!! first of all, made her hair MORE floofy and took away the kinda unneceasry braid on her hair. Also made her face more chubby because i think it fits a bunny goddess well!!
now THIS was a big redesign. i practically. restructured her whole face HAHA but yeah i was just not feeling the og design, it was giving so much OOMPH and character so i tried to make her look more fierce and formidable, just how an actual lion is!
now here i ULTRA LEVELED UP HER HAIR TO LOOK MORE RACOON LIKE LMAOO it was actually super fun drawing it!! no more the days of bland unspiky hair >B]
i think her og design looks already super good!! BUT IM RLLY PROUD OF THIS REDESIGN SPECIFICALLY BCUS OF HOW THE HAIR FLOWS!!!! ITS GOIN SWOOPY SWOOPS!!!! and ofc had to use a feather earring because raven goddess etc gender etc <3
honestly did not change her design that much EXCEPT for her face structure, and i think the lil pearl necklaces and crowns and beads are such a regal touch I LOVE IT
Ohhh dog boy. ya i dont rlly like the og design that much DLKJSD so i had to rlly like. change almost everything abt him omg. but i rlly think this is a cute redesign!! i love the ruffly hiar 🥺
TIGER MAN WOOOO I LOVE YOUUUU BUT YES I GAVE HIM MORE FACIAL HAIR AND EYEBROWS AND SPUNK >>B]]] og design looks like him in his 20s HAHA and NGL facial hair is hard to draw like especially beards, i dont get how it wraps around the face, but im DOIN MY BEST TO DRAW IT MORE
his beard: pointy. his eyes: 🥺. the perfect redesign. Also i remmeber in that og design is that is when like the first time ive tried drawing hooked noses??
it felt so wrong seeing a god based off a bear and Not even being fat??? A CRIME!!!!!!! SO YES TWAS IMPERATIVE HE BE A BIG BOY!!!
I love this redesign so much HAHA like that hair is an UPGRADE and that FACIAL HAIOR MMMMMMMMM Like IM SO PROUD OF THIS OK LET ME HAVE THIS,,,,,,
def didnt change much, as i rlly think the curly kind of long hair is SUCH a good hair for a love god HAHA and ofc i gave them the slutty ruffly poet shirt okay,,,,,😁hes the token twink of the group!!
but yeah all in all, im so proud of this!! i very much detwinkified almost all of them LMAOO and i think ive def imporved in terms of face shape, especially in noses and also fat! I hope i imporve more in the future and perhaps redesign this in the future years 👀
BUT YES YAYYY IF YOUVE REACHED THIS FAR SAY BERRIS SO HANDSOME AND AWESOMEEEE!!!!😍😍😍
#I HAVE TO SLEEP OHMGOD I HAVE WORK TOMRORROW#ahh well its okay#AAAAAAAAAAAAA#ITS OKAY yes >B] aNYWAY#fav designs are def fox and raven!! im really happy with how they came out >:]#man i havent drawn in so long because of school shit AUGHH BUT YES LUCKILLYY I MANAGED TO DRAW THEM ALL IN ONE DAYYY#YIEPEPEEE
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Rating Every TNBA Redesign Cos Why Not
The New Batman Adventures was the last season of the infamous Batman the Animated Series, although it moved to another less strict network. Because the producers wanted to do crossovers with the Superman animated series, they gave the series and its characters a more streamlined style to it. Now I dont wanna blame Bruce Timm entirely since there were many artists on staff back then who did the redesigns but because I hate this coomer, Im going to anyway. In BTAS, you can tell each character apart and they have their own unique outfits and looks to them. But here, these are some of the most unimaginative superhero/villain designs Ive ever seen. Although some did surprise me and were not that bad. So, for a bit of fun, here's my look at each Batman character's redesign in the final (and worst) season of the show.
(Not counting Robin cos he's a different character to Dick Grayson or characters that had very little changes like Clayface or Harley Quinn)
Batman
The big emo rodent himself. For his redesign, I like the more sleek look to Batman's cape...thats it. His original design is really hard to perfect. Its got everything. Why tamper with perfection?
Batgirl
I actually kinda like Batgirl's redesign. The yellow gloves and boots really help her stand out and its the one of the few times the darker toned outfits actually accentuate a design rather than ruin it. Too bad Bruce Timm couldn't stop salivating over her and the rest of the women in this show.
So next time you see someone consider Bruce Timm this legendary storyteller of Batman, give them a healthy reminder that he shipped this college girl character with her mentor/surrogate uncle figure FOR YEARS.
Alfred
Its like they sucked away all of Alfred's snark and replaced it with a cardboard cutout. Literally, he looks so sterile and empty. Who had the idea of making Alfred look more bored and done with everything? Also whats wrong with his chin??
Commissioner Gordon
Good ole Commissioner Pringle got off pretty much unscathed but I think they made him a touch too old considering they gave him a more lanky body, which makes him look more feeble and weak. Dude looks old enough to be Babs' grandad
Joker
Ohhhhh boy. So Joker's redesign is infamously considered by fans as one of the show's worst redesigns, to a point even the showrunners were like yeahh. And thats not unwarranted. He looks like an inverted Dr Draken and im so glad they redesigned him again for Batman Beyond and onward.
Seriously he's A CLOWN WHERES THE MAKE UP?!!
Two-Face
I know Two Face is just a redrawn version of the original design with the TNBA streamlined art style but I want to draw special attention to the monster side of Dent's face. Notice in the original it looks more manic and feral? Heavily contrasted with the conflicted, guilty look on Dent's normal side? But here, in the redesign the monster side is less scary and Dent looks way too bored and angry. The overuse of black lines doesnt help.
Catwoman
She looks like Harley Quinn or Barbara wearing a catsuit. Starting to see a pattern here?
Baby Doll
Its a tough call cos they both look very good but Im gonna lean towards the redesign cos shes got that creepy doll look down to a T (Annabelle would be proud) whereas her original design looked more like a Tiny Toons character.
Scarface and the Ventriloquist
I like the redesign cos of the exaggerated style of the rest of the show perfectly captures Scarface since he's, yknow, a puppet and having the Ventriloquist be shown to be scared and submissive really does show how the puppet is ironically the puppetmaster.
Penguin
Actually I like both of them. They both give off that sophisticated element Penguin is known for and after so many reiterations of him being this crass Scouse-talking crime boss, its nice to see versions of him going back to his rich asshole roots.
Bane
In the original, he has a luchador-style mask and wrestling suit fitting his Spanish roots. Here, he straight up looks like a gimp. Its really bad. Embrace your heritage, Bane!
Riddler
They went from Frank Gorshin to Jim Carrey for Riddler (fitting cos Batman Forever came during TNBA's development) and I love that. So I love both of them. Nice to see a villain with some fucking colour in TNBA cos im tired of seeing all this black outfits. Also his cane being an extended question mark instead of a question mark on top of a regular cane is genius.
Mad Hatter
Both of them fit Hatter's deranged stalker vibes perfectly, but I wish they kept the colour scheme for the redesign cos Hatter's new colour scheme looks too rounded and doesnt stand out.
Poison Ivy
Killer Croc
Finally, now he looks like an actual crocodile instead of whatever the hell he was supposed to be!
Scarecrow
Okay, who the fuck decided to make Scarecrow look like the Babadook? Cos I want to give them a raise. Holy mother of piss, that is terrifying. That shit belongs in the Arkham games. I still prefer the old design cos it has that perfect blend of goofy and gothic. He looks like a Cacturne now that I think about it.
Mr Freeze
HONEY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FUTURAMA HEAD?!! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! YOU HURT MY HUSBAND, TIMM, NOW ITS PERSONAL
#batman#batman animated series#btas#the new batman adventures#tnba#batgirl#commissioner gordon#catwoman#joker#riddler#two face#penguin#the scarecrow#mad hatter#ventriloquist and scarface#baby doll#poison ivy#bane#killer croc#redesigns#mr freeze#also freeze's suit looks so robotic and lifeless which I know that was the intention but it still looks boring as fuck
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Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)
Thank you @mahikamihan (the nicest and sweetest person here) for the tag! Ignore that its been a few days shhhh I was actually thinking of doing this on my priv but then this showed up so perfect opportunity :D Its a big one so everyone will be under a read more so Im not clogging the dash
@gogtopia Jules, you were the first person I followed when I was revamping my blog last year, the first person that came to mind on who I knew was safe post October. Although this was long ago, I really enjoyed the discussions we had about lore and such on discord that was a fun time. And now you're on the path of getting my into The Yard more too lol
@i-anonymous-crow Crow crow crow crow. You were the first (literally the first) people to follow me and it was all because I was crying over the Las Nevadas gift for ckarlnapity. And since then we've cried some more together. And now we're here, thank you for giving me a chance
@foolishfreckles Moss my beloved. Actually one of the chillest people I know and a really great clipper. Another person who has been here since pretty much the beginning (like when I had 20 followers) and one of my biggest supporters. If you arent already following Moss what are you doing. I also love the Foolish screenies you try to get every stream
@traidyy LUCKY!!!!!!! :D SWEETEST PERSON AND GREAT ARTIST THEIR ART IS SO CUTE. also a karl fan so thats 1000 more attractive points. But actually one of my favorite people here, wuv u Lucky <3 the dog to my cat
@sapybara INY!! Somehow you are the most rational but also the most chaos inducing person here and I love you for that. Whenever dash is all fucky and im beginning to spiral, your post are usually the ones who help pull me back up. Also your sapybara pfp is the cutest thing ever.
@vadergf REY REY! The would be drolo of my heart and the realest person when it comes to the green man. Your anons are hilarious and your art is so cute, no matter what you might say. Also thank you for supporting me like with the dteam hourly account i really appreciate it
@simplepotatofarmer Loyal! :D this is a thank you for always wanting and trying to make the fandom a better place. So many people give you the worst shit and yet you try to give second chances and show kindness. Thats something very rare to find nowadays. I love your aus like the rabbit and black dog au, and your chicken posts are some of my favorite things (all hail dream (chicken) )
@toxicsapolo Hi Salty! The og sapolo, the one who paved the way. Even though I have no idea what you and Adora are talking about with the F1 fandom, Ive admired how passionate you are when it comes to your interests. Sapnap, fashion, cooking, your boyfriend.
@tinynap JO!!! Your liveblogs never fail to make me laugh, even if half of them give you a tummy ache. I also want to say im proud of you trying your best at college, even at your roughest nights. You're gonna do great, kid
@dralbum NIICCCKKK!!! Ok not only is your art gorgeous and gives the softest feeling, you are also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. I enjoy our time on privtwt where we ask to eat each others food lmao
@faehrys ARIA MY ARIA!!! Not only an awesome editor, but also an awesome person. I appreciated how you tried to keep a positive space during the rough time, but also knowing when to stand your ground. And as always, karl enjoyer so extra cool points :>
@negativepeanuthoarder PEANUT!!! A true squirrel in which they stick around and make a home in your heart. You are always the loudest supporter in my writing and I really appreciate that, especially on the harder days
@knffuckraw ACE!!! Another funny person here and also representing the inner haikyuu fans (along with Iny). You have the greatest comebacks for anons and the funniest tags. love you ace <3
@dreamnotnapss First, a thank you for your services they’re greatly appreciated and you be missed by many. Second, a thank you for supporting everyone you could within our circle and even beyond. We’ll remember you fondly
@selvish HI TENDER!! we interact much more on twitter lol but youre one of my favorite people, big karl enjoyer and created some of my favorite fics like Y&OY, Rules, Favorite Place, and when we’re older 💜
@secretkoalasandwich EMMI MY BELOVED. ok tbh when we first started following each other I was so nervous cause you had a Wil pfp but now youre one of my favorite people lol. My brethren of punzblr, always ready to simp with me. Also an amazing artist with the most amazing blending skills youve ever seen youre telling me this is a painting??? anyways 10/10 spectacular amazing wow
@canonicallykayfabe EACHTRA!! Some of the most beautiful art here, both in a more cartoony style and one that holds slight realism. The color choices are fantastic as well. Along with that, you have some really thought provoking posts that I really appreciate like the banter discussion post awhile ago.
@sapnapstummy BLAZE THE KINDEST PERSON HERE 100%. legit i dont think ive ever seen you post a neg post about anything thats impressive. also i want to say i love how youll go back to either dreamtummy or sapnaptummy, so iconic and so true.
@dnapsnfsapnap PIGEON!! We’re semi newish mutuals but I’ll always welcome new sapnap fans into my life. On par with Salty, Jo, and Blaze, you fit right in with the sapolo ideology and i think thats amazing. You can always get the cutest screenies of Sapnap and I love your frog posts as well ^-^
@snfbabydrop Ive said this multiple times but thank you for your work on dreamnotnapss. The safe haven for multishippers in our corner. Aside from that, you are one of the nicest people Ive met here, never let your sunshine get blocked out
Also shoutout to my awesome mutuals who I dont talk to often but still love 💜
#drops this at your feet and runs#im posting this late in the night so people have something nice to wake up to ^-^#yeah idk how to tag this hi
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Hello hello! I went to ABBA Voyage tonight (it was awesome i really recommend it!) and i’d like to think there was at least one other person in that crowd that was also thinking about campbyler during mamma mia 😌
This is also an Acswy Playlist Appreciation Post guys ‼️ It’s literally the perfect collection of Glitter Gel Pen Songs ever its so fun 🤭 ive been listening to it on repeat for the last month (im a lil insane but whatever its fine) but it has the perfect mix of songs i forgot about, songs i know and love and also new songs that will be stuck in my head for the near future 🕺🕺 live laugh love
Cut to the feeling my child forever it was My Jam in 2020/2021 its the only glitter gel pen song ever actually its so ✨sparkly✨ guys i love it sm thank u for adding it 🫶🫶🫶
omg abba voyage sounds so fun!! i hope for your sake that you did have a fellow acswy-rotted-brain-haver in the crowd thinking of Them and that you guys were telepathically connected <3
also ty for the kudos on the playlist bc we are so anal about it...our og inspo playlist is over 10 hours long i think so cutting that down to songs that fit the chapter and the vibe And making sure that we get a lyric from there for the title has been really difficult but it's something that we are very proud of! it feels so quintessentially summer and as we are starting to approach summer again i'm really looking forward to listening to it all the way through!!
also HELL YEAHHHHH CUT TO THE FEELINGGGGGG it's literally made almost Every Ship Playlist of mine since 2018 so i Had to make sure it was included!! esp bc the bridge (take me to emotion, i want to go all the way, show me devotion, and take me all the way) is SOOOOOOOOOO ch09 vibes that it Had to be there!!
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💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕
thank you so much!❤️ sorry this took me so long to answer 😅
i'll start with jori since she's the first one i created! i know it may not seem like it lately but she's the main baby of the other 2 main babies i have! ive projected so much of myself and interests onto her that i became attached quickly lmao! she's also the one who i insert into every piece of media that im consuming and like enough. like, if im playing dead space i totally imagine her in the place of isaac. or if im playing a backrooms game she's the one running around and trying to escape from the monsters lmfao!
her story has taken different shapes and changes since i actually brought her over from red dead online. her twin brother, mika, doesnt exist in red dead online and was solely create for cyberpunk purposes.
i love the pic on the left because i just think she looks really badass lmao! and i like the one on the right because im not usually patient enough to set up sets and backgrounds but this time i stuck it out and i loved it! it's simple compared to what others can do but im still proud of it!
next is the love of her life, driss! back when i first started getting into modding my game i actually shipped her with river. i was trying to get a cute shot of her and river looking out at the sunset over the ocean, but sine i was so new to modding i didnt know bigger characters like river had a different locomotion type so i couldnt get any poses to work. as a test i replaced an NPC couple with jori and driss and that was when i fell into a hole lmfao! i thought they looked so much better together so i kept them going!
their ship name is Broken and Beautiful because both of them have past traumas that still effect them but they found comfort and understanding in each other.
i love how soft both of these pics are! especially the fire behind them in the one on the right!
lottie is my second of the main 3! she also started out as a red dead online OC! i usually try to make her come off as a flowery, cottage core, disney princess aesthetic type. she's the softest and shyest of my OCs but she can be fierce too! she smiles at strangers in the street and will lend a hand if they look like they need it but she does it with caution because... its night city lmao!
i chose these pictures in particular because i just thought they were the coolest ones. i do have some pics that showcase her as soft and flowery but i just couldnt resist showing these ones instead! the one on the left was made to be a tarot card called The World. the pic on the right was me trying out a greaser AU on her! i really love how they both came out!
the last of the main 3 is phoenix! i made her fully expecting to just leave her to collect dust, just like certain other OCs, (and i feel so bad for them 😔) but i became attached to her very quickly too. i based a chunk of her personality off of vash the stampede from the 1998 anime trigun. after a short while of that i actually ended up shipping her with him lmfao! currently she doesnt have a backstory because nothing has really inspired me yet but at least i know some things about her current life!
i think these pics are perfect for show casing her as she currently is. she lives in clutter but not, like, dirty clutter if that makes sense? she just likes having stuff and buying things that interest her. i mean doesnt everyone? haha! she doesnt really save her money for anything other than rent and bills, everything else is purely impulse.
her favorite treat is donuts and when she's willing to share one with you thats how you know she likes you! her favorite thing is to make people smile!
onto stuff that i made for other people!
i really loves these pics that i took of mishka and claire for @thelonestrider! mishka looks SO GOOD in purple! and claire is chef's kiss! i had a lot of fun taking pics of her! i got such freeing vibes from her so i had to have her enjoying the sun's rays!
i took these ones for @holofishes and i totally consider wren to be one of jori's besties! i think they'd have so much to talk about and i get such warm vibes when i see them together! jori is usually very sweet and kind but when it comes to her friends she'd kick anyone's ass 😉
the sunflowers and butterflies in the first pic took so long to place! but it was totally worth it! they're both rays of sunshine!
#Cyberpunk 2077#caer-oswin#Scorpion#Driss Meriana#Nomad V#Street Kid V#My V#My OC#OC: Jori#🦊#OC: Lottie#🦌#OC: Phoenix#🐦#Ship: Broken and Beautiful#Other People's OCs#OC: Mishka#OC: Claire#thelonestrider#OC: Wren#holofishes#i might have gone over board 😅
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oh my god! slay!
yeah i redesigned the joker for a gen z verse. what ABOUT it!!! this is the first art ive done for myself in a long time and i very proud of it! i had a lot of fun incorporating some of my fave parts of different jokers for this au. ive never read any of the comics, but i think as long as i keep the ‘joker is OBSESSED with the emo furry guy w/ wet cat energy’ and ‘bruce cannot exist without batman, and batman cannot exist without bruce’ energy it should. probably be fine. idk! im doin this verse for funsies bc its RIDICULOUS how the subtext becomes literal proof when you even GLANCE through the batjokes entry on the shipping fandom wiki. like. if bruce died instead of his parents then HIS MOM WOULD BECOME THE JOKER AND HIS DAD WOULD BECOME BATMAN??? YOU CANNOT GET ANY MORE GOD DAMN IN YR FACE ABOUT IT THAN THAT SOB SOB
anyways this design is post batjokes get together, after jokes has become calmer because now bats is looking at him the most again!!! and also bc i have to make it feel nice and happy for this au before i ruin everything and make myself cry for three hours :))))) i love writing angst and i think these fictional little guys are the perfect fictional little guys to get back into making things for myself!
harlivy designs are next, and then maybe my other jokes designs?? ooo or maybe bruce design. hmmm. not the batman design i have in mind if only bc i HATE drawing armor or whatever the fuck. idt spandex work would for this au(? verse? i was a marvel girlie for a long time whatever) im cooking up, tragically, so :///
i really found out that you can do a whole lot more in the dc universe than i thought and became the most creative i have ever been, actually. slay for me!!!
#batjokes#cw eye strain#the joker#no ceilings? no thoughts.#no ceilings all 333#gen z batjokes verse#u cant have one w/o the other and if u look away it just gets worse#a wet cat and a feral cat walk into a bar.
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Given Mix_20 Thoughts!
Can I just say my respect for Ue has increased drastically, how drastic it already was in a way I thought it couldnt get any bigger than this, but it did, and heres why!
When Hiragi first reached out the Rikka, he only ever requested Ritsuka to finish the song (yes Hiragi forced him to actually do it butsdkjasd) He never said Ritsuka should follow Yuki's sound, everything else was on Ritsuka. Even Hiragi was surprised when he heard
To make it clear, its not because of Hiragi forcing him that made him want to do this song, we all know Ritsuka has no problem saying 'No'; the real reason I’ll tackle later on. But, the reason he didnt want to do it was because of the emotional weight he felt when listening to Yuki's song
Sure, first it was uncomfortable by the mere fact that it was Yuki- Mafuyu's ex and shizuragi's childhood friend. Most especially, especially after feeling the remnants of Yuki's emotions, especially when he knows how Yuki passed away, it would’ve made anyone want to quit
But again, that didnt stop him, instead it propelled him further! Mix_20 gave emphasis on the reason as to why and it’s because Ritsuka wanted to not only to give closure to Mafuyu. He also brought it onto himself to give these grieving childhood friends some closure despite it not being his responsibility, and he was very aware that it wasnt. But, he saw an opportunity to do good to others and took it. It was emotionally tolling for him, yes, but not because he was forced to make music, BUT because he wanted to do give his all as someone who is a perfectionist; He wanted his gift to be perfect
And thats not the only thing that amazes me, he also showes respect towards Yuki's music by saying he was GLAD to have listened to Yuki's song (あの曲をみつけられて 良かった). And he turns the stressful experience into something positive, saying he feels very much personally fulfilled about not only being helpful to others, but as well as a self-accomplishment by seeing the proof of his own capabilities. (「ここまで やれる」 それが証明できた. 今は、それが満足だ ) Mix_20
Ritsuka could’ve chosen to be selfish. Just like how initially, he had made the 2nd part of Yuki's song to sound like him, as he was responsible to finish the second half- a change Hiragi noticed (mix_9). This was when Ue felt like shifting priorities to reaching Mafuyu
The shift of knowing that Mafuyu had been feeling lonely all those times. Reading Mix_14, surely everyone understands the external pressure added on to Ritsuka as well- guilt of having fun with another band while leaving his own, slowly losing himself in this heavy process. But the message of Ritsuka's story here isnt negative- it’s showing how feeling down and anxious during stressful events is a normal thing, that everyone needs help and deep thinking for them to align themselves.
And of course because of this, Ritsuka got back on his feet as the strong person he is. Not letting the anxiety get to him, and got back to doing things his own stubborn way (affectionate). He lets go of selfishness, knowing with all confidence that his own skills can pull Mafuyu.
And so he did, and this sense of accomplishment he feels washing over him during the end of SYH debut, knowing well he has not only accomplished his goals of pulling Mafuyu but also made Hiragi shine, gave closure to those close to Yuki, and had proven himself to be capable!
All the shocked faces coming from Shizuragi really make me laugh. Never would they have thought of Ue to be someone as selfless and giving, but that truly is him. Someone so kind and generous with confidence and power- "fundamentally a good guy"🙈💖
EDIT: I fixed some grammar and punctuation-ings 😭 I wrote it while moved by strong emotions, it was crazy! Needless to say, Im very proud of Ritsuka and I dont think I have the words to fully express myself. I hope this blog can emit even a bit of that feeling!
#Given#Given Hiragi Mix_20#Hiragi_Mix 20#Mix_20#Given Manga#Uenoyama Ritsuka#Given Meta#Mikarambles#Volume 9 Given#Uecchi Supremacy#The real Ore-sama!
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hiii i saw your requests are open and omfg- off topic but youre so pretty😞🫵 hongjoong would deffo be proud of himself for having you as his stan. NO JOKE.
Ahh also I've read almost every work youve done and your writing style, everything just- HOW YOU WRITE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, I could go on reading everything written from you for hours!
Anywayy- again, I saw your requests are open and ahaha since Im not a writer, and I admire you like A LOT i really wanna share one of my scenarios these days and mayyybeee you could writeeee abouuuuttt itttt hehe (ofc if you want --I wont be mad if you never make it lol ill continue support your work!)
So- IM SO WHIPPED FOR SEONGHWA. Been loving my man for years now lmfao so you already know whos this aboutt~, anyway hehe, i was thinking maybe writing 9th member fem!reader ! Ateez (and reader included ofc ofc) are going on vacation in a really nice hotel, with beach outside, everything's perfect for the members to relax a bit from their busy schedule! Reader is also kind of bf and gfs with seonghwa? I mean everyone in the industry AND out of the industry ships them, call them power dynamic and stuff and, even before that, reader and hwa always had that tense. Yk, reader is prettt close with all of her members, they feel like big brothers to her but fucking Park Seonghwa is driving her AND HIM insane since training day. Reader though, is mostly closer with Mingi if not Seonghwa and they are so so touchy with each other, flirting but for fun and nuh uh girl Seonghwa is POSSESSED. Hes so jealous and he doesnt even hide it. Doesnt even try to hide it. He doesnt have a problem with Mingi but when he sees his hands all over you gosh he really wants to make him watch you getting railed by him.
+ its beach day and ateez decide to play shoulder fights? Chicken fight? Lol idk how to say it and Reader get paired with Mingi which causes Seonghwa watching her thighs all over Mingis face. Ahhh- JEALOUS MUCH. Let me add also that of course Seonghwa and reader share the same room so in their way back from the beach it was so tense. Lol- kind of vers2 from your hongjoong jealous bf fanfic. (I RLY LOVED IT BTW🥲)
Im so so sorry if I didn't give you my exact thoughts but- i trust you enough to make it your own~ adding your little details and everything. Youre so talented I dont think you need my details- I think i gave out the main parts!
Thank you so much for your time and I hope you have, will have and had a nice day<33 im so excited for your new works!
(English is not my first language btw so excuse me if something did not make sense)
(actual representation of me reading the beginning of that message-- please??? what if I'm kicking my feet in the air and squealing right now? that was adorable! thank you so much ♥ I'm nowhere near beautiful, what you see is the disgusting reflection of my neverending love for Kim Hongjoong, nothing moooore...!)
I'm so sorry it took me AGES to get this request done but it is finally posted ♥ here ♥ !
I hope you enjoy!
Thank you so much for requesting and for your lovely words! ♥
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ALRIGHT BABY lets go.
i read chapters 1-5 (half way into 6) last night and here are my initial thoughts:
i loved !! the writing…the way u write hadrian is so fun and i like the contrast to harry bc,, harry is an absolute slob compared to hadrian and he's so fun to read!1!! i love the choice of having him go to beauxbatons and i'm just imagining him in the uniform bc its so pretty.
IDK what you meant by "forgive the first lot of chapters and their quality" because its really good !! the only qualm i have is that the setting is a lot to take in for the first two chapters. i've actually had a hand @ it before and i was a little overwhelmed with the world (i wasn't truly ready at that time for its sheer magnitude of magnificence) and i wasn't dedicated to starting it off so !! i'm glad i gave it another try.
i really like the characters & ur ocs ! jacob and hadrians fwb relationship is really fun and so is his banter w raina.. i like claire so far and i do hope to see more of her !!1!!! which im guessing is the case for all of them. . hopefully. (am i attempting at foreshawdowing my predictions in ur own fanfic?) it physically. hurts me. to read hadrian not open up to jacob because of lily and his situation in general….. which slides me into the next topic i'm talking about.
lily gives me. extreme iffy vibes like,, not 'i want to punch her in the face' but its still wrong. her parenting gives off a lot of 'raising a soldier' vibes imo and its bad,, hadrian shows it by not opening up at all like i said earlier. i've seen a few responses & asks about it on your blog so i assume it'll be something that'll be addressed later on in the fic.
i do think that she's a good step forward from the dursleys, however, still not perfect. + i think harry would have had a lot more passion for studying /learning (like hadrian) and learning knowledge if he hadn't lived in a household where they shut him down whenever he asked questions/had curiosity about something
there's a lot of plot questions with voldemort and the triwizard tournament etc that i have and i hope to see being answered later on!! like the year the tournament is set in (was the year harry turning 17 intentional?) etc etc. i have bets that hadrian's 'blank paper' trick is going to backfire. hard. and he's going to be the champion for beauxbatons etc etc
last id like to say (chapter 6): i like how you had harry & hermione meet each other !! they are full on interrogating istg and its so fun.. i wonder if ron will appear ?? i have guesses he probably wont because ron is extremely average from an objective standpoint.
anyway !! im very hooked into the fic and hope u have a great day :>>> i probably wont say something as huge as this next time i check in because this was just.. first impression thoughts and ALOT !!
Oooh this was so fun to read! Though I will admit I was struggling to remember what happened in chapters 1 - 6. That was so long ago in my memory! 🤣
I'm very eager to see how your thoughts on characters or events change as you go - it's making me really nostalgic in a way. And some of the things you've picked up on are making me clap my hands in excitement because ~foreshadowing~ and I'm insanely proud that I managed to keep the plot on track enough that even elements from those first chapters end up paying off down the track!
Have fun, darling! CS is a wild ride in some parts hahaha
Thank you for sharing! 🥰🥰🥰
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SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
CHAPTER 9: LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH
A/N: i made a moodboard for yaera and im really proud of it lmao
warnings: blood mention, drugs mention, suicide/self harm mention, gambling
wordcount: 8000 and some change
prev chapter
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i remember climbing out my window that night. the moon was full, my stomach giddy thinking of seeing his pretty eyes. he said he wanted to meet me, i couldnt believe that what people said was true.
guys really were MEAN to the girls they liked.
being made fun of constantly? not my love language. never was. it reminded me too much of how my parents treated me, and i never found comfort in that at all.
my insecurities getting pointed out, getting mocked for the enjoyment of others. how could you like someone who did all those things to you?
i wondered that for a while. i was too hopeful, i guess.
that didnt stop me from doing my hair and finally making use of all the designer my mother brought home. i curled my fringe and the ends of my black hair, giving myself the look only a stupidly happy person could muster and snuck out of my house.
i didnt expect to see my twin sister doing the exact same thing.
our mouths collectively dropped open when we saw one another, completely baffled that neither of us had said anything. i wouldve told her where i was going, but she hadnt given me the time of day.
"i can explain," she nervously said, laughing. "okay nevermind, you first."
"no way!" i said, shaking my head. "you? sneaking out? fess up!"
yasmine was like the model twin to everyone. of course she wasnt perfect, she had flaws just like everyone else. she was a massive people pleaser, so i wondered just exactly who she was trying to impress with her new sneaky habits.
anyone that had my goodie two-shoes sister sneaking out of the house couldnt be good news, i thought. i was also impressed by how they managed to actually get her to go through with it.
"im just meeting...someone," she giggled dumbly. it was almost pitch black in our yard and yet i knew her cheeks were stained red.
"and you didnt tell me about him? who is it? someone from a rival school?"
my sister was dramatic enough to hide something like that. she had just broken up with her asshole boyfriend, collin, who no one liked, so i would have gladly encouraged this phase.
"its just someone. you dont know him."
i raised an eyebrow. "so when will i get to? whats his name?"
"im not saying anything, yae." she deadpanned.
"what?" i couldnt hide the disappointment from my voice. "but we tell each other everything."
she sighed. "relax, i will tell you just not right now. gosh quit being so codependent."
i frowned. "im not codependent i just care about your life. but whatever since you wanna be a massive bitch about it."
silence filled after a familiar insecurity rose to surface level. my sister knew how much i loved and needed her. she was my sister. some siblings were close, some werent. but my sister was my only friend. and all i really had. she knew that.
and sometimes she reminded me of how much i held her back.
she would sit with her massive friend group with attractive, sociable and fun people. she would always try to push me to talk to them or even make my own friends. i tried, i swear i did. it usually didnt go well. i never understood why.
maybe i was the problem. i could only really care about one person at a time. i didnt know what that was called. it took time for me to get close with people, the fear of being judged and abandoned an imminent one.
my brain always told me, my own sister would never abandon or judge me. we were blood. we were in this shit forever.
apparently i was the only one passionate about it.
"yae, cmon dont be like that," yasmine sighed. "i didnt mean that. i will tell you i promise."
i didnt answer her, only wiped the tears that gathered in my eyes for that moment. i crumbled up the letter he gave me as i rolled it into a fist in my pocket.
"its whatever, i guess ill see you in the morning," i muttered and started walking to the gate.
"wait!" she whisper-yelled. "where are you going?"
"ill tell you later. good luck with whoever youre meeting."
i called an uber to the address, trying to lighten up my mood on the way there. i put lipgloss on, trying to smile in my compact mirror. i wasnt really good with make up, but since i had a good feeling about this boy, i would need to start getting good.
this was the first time he'd invited me to his house. usually when yasmine went it wasnt a mutual invite. now i was going solo. he really changed his mind about me.
i kept impulsively eating mints, practicing my facial expressions and the uber driver probably thought i was crazy. when i got dropped infront of the wrought iron gates, he was standing there waiting for me.
in a white tshirt and grey sweatpants. he was so beautiful. he pulled his lips into that sly smirk i knew, as if he got everything he wanted. and being who he was, he did.
i mean, thats how i was here even though he bullied the fuck out of me whenever he could.
"hi," i said, giving a small wave. the wind blew my skirt a little, making me hold it down embarrassingly.
jongho continued giving me that satisfied smirk as he eyed me up and down. "you know its two am. i really didnt expect you to actually come."
i mean you asked me to. of course i would. im almost in love with you.
i shrugged like it was nothing. "you told me to come when i was comfortable. i thought this was appropriate."
"i see you dressed appropriately too. nice legs," he said, making my face heat up. "goddamn, model genes really runs in your family. well i dont wanna keep you in the cold. lets go inside."
he guided me into his home, his hand on my lower back. i swear i couldnt breathe. he never touched me like this infront of the others. infront of her.
his house was dark except for the light in the living room and up the staircase. the sound of my miu miu boots on the marble made me realize how empty everything sounded.
"are you alone at home?" i asked, kind of excited for the answer.
"yeah, my folks left for something in singapore. you know how it is," he casually said, showing me into a room. "make yourself comfy."
it was his room. i dont know what i imagined, but seeing it, it was so jongho.
trophies for singing competitions, soccer, and some even for academics lined the walls around his massive bed. he had a large mirror directly opposite his bed and a balcony that overlooked the infinity pool in his backyard. i strolled around in admiration, turning around when i heard two loud pats.
jongho sat on his bed and was gesturing for me to do the same. the led lights in his room were red and so dim, making him look far more hot than he already was.
i reluctantly planted myself next to him, my heart rate going higher than a kite. jongho licked his lips and took a heavy breath as he prepared to speak. god he was so attractive, i hated how much i liked him. i left my home at two am just because he asked. fuck.
"thanks for coming to talk," he muttered, his voice deeper and hitting the perfect spot in my ear drums. "i know it was kinda a lot to ask."
i rolled my hair behind my ear and shrugged. "its no big deal. what did you wanna talk about?"
jongho moved closer, now he was so close i could feel the radiation of his body heat. oh god.
"i know ive been hard on you for coming into our friend group and everything. im really sorry for all the mean things i said."
the apology struck me, hitting the thoughts from my brain. that wasnt what i expected.
"i called you clingy and made yasmine think you were a loser," jongho sighed, shaking his head. "she doesnt believe that of course, but im really sorry. i know i can be mean sometimes but its just how i give affection. youre cool with that, right?"
i nodded thoughtlessly. i was just happy to have him talk to me.
"yea, thats fine. i get it. im not that sensitive dont worry," i forced a smile, knowing his insults hurt more than anything. but at least he was sorry. right?
"cool, cool." he smiled down at me. "i hope we can be good friends then, yae. can you do me a favour then?"
"what kind of favour?"
my mind was running wild right then. all the insane teenage hormones were overflowing. the close proximity and how handsome he was, the fact that my short skirt had such easy access. choi jongho was a hard guy to resist. and i was failing.
i didnt hear his words, i was so focused on his lips and the cute mole in his neck, i acted without thinking.
i leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, softly grabbing the side of his face. i couldnt believe what i was doing. for a second his warm mouth welcomed mine, taking it in fully. then, i felt coldness on my lips as he pulled away.
"what are you doing?" he scoffed, his eyes narrowed spitefully. my stomach shrunk.
"uh–i–" i stammered, only to be cut off.
"are you fucking kidding me right now? are you deaf?" he raised his voice. "did you not just hear me ask is yasmine if interested in anyone? why the fuck would you kiss me."
"im sorry–i–" i couldnt believe what i just did. what was wrong with me. he wanted to know about yasmine. not me. what the fuck. this was so awkward.
wait. so i read everything...wrong?
"shit," he cursed under his breath. "this is bad."
"is that why you called me here?" i asked, fearing the answer. "to find out if yasmine is interested in anyone?"
"obviously. why else are you useful?" he meanly answered. i felt an embarrassed pang in my chest. "did you think i liked you?"
the mocking laugh that fell from his lips after made me flinch. because how stupid was i to think he actually saw me differently now.
to think that someone like him could actually like someone like me.
"youre so fucking naive, yaera," he kept driving the knife in, shaking his head with that taunting smile. "just cause you look like your sister doesnt mean you should have the same confidence. youre setting yourself up."
i remembered the first day i sat with yasmine's friend group, jongho pointed out that even though we were twins, i wasnt nearly as attractive as yasmine. i laughed it off awkwardly because i thought he was joking.
"you know desperation is unattractive as fuck, right? i cant believe you drove here at two in the morning because you thought i liked you."
i was shivering in my skin, trying not to completely burst into tears. my entire body was flushing hot with anger and spite, and the most embarrassing of all–heartbreak. because deep down i knew he would never get over my sister. it made me insane.
why did everyone fucking act like i wasnt worthy of being liked just like everyone else? but as soon as they saw the scars on my arms they wanted to tell me the same bullshit.
youre loved, yaera.
stop hurting yourself, yaera.
stop using this for attention, yaera.
i couldnt bear to stay a second longer. i wiped the wetness of my cheeks and got up from the bed, immediately going to leave. jongho got up and tugged at my wrist, pulling me back to him.
"you havent told me about your sister yet," jongho said, making my rage spike. because who the fuck did he think he was. "cmon, dont cry because of silly shit like that. its water under the bridge."
"i hate you," i seethed through my tears. "i dont know why yasmine is friends with someone like you in the first place."
"because shes like me," jongho taunted. "and thats what you refuse to see. you dont realize how much of a burden you are to her. you dont realize the only reason she hasnt ditched you yet is because youre related to her."
okay, so he was continuing then?
"you always act like youre so perfect," i spat. "you talk about how much of a burden i am? imagine how much of a burden you are to yasmine because you keep trying to date her. shes never gonna like you. you're just another guy friend in her collection, cunt."
i ripped my arm from his grip and stormed out of his room. he followed me till i reached the bottom of the staircase, where he just watched me spitefully from the railing. now he was angry? of course. pieces of shit like jongho were great at dishing it out and not taking it back.
i felt so petty. he could have rejected me normally but he thought he could say whatever he wanted to me. tearing the little self esteem i had down was fun for him.
i turned around and smiled. "you really wanna know what yasmine thinks of you? she doesnt. in fact, she snuck out of the house to meet someone. shes probably getting fucked as we speak. enjoy that mental image, fucker."
"get the fuck out of my house!"
***
YAERA
an hour has passed since san left me in his apartment. im worried and have a weird feeling in my stomach just imagining what he's doing right now.
despite the anger i feel toward him, i hope he's safe. that's all I hope for. he's hurt badly, looking more damaged than when he fought the last time. he definetely has open wounds. so i look around for any first aid. he's gonna need it for when he comes back.
i rummage through his cabinets. there's so much empty spaces but its filled with random stuff. this guy needs to go shopping. he has so much expired medicine. i find a thin roll of bandages and plasters in the very back of a cupboard but when i take them out, something falls on the ground.
its a folded up piece of paper. when i pick it up, i realize its actually a crumbled up picture. a picture of a family.
my stomach immediately sinks.
a young asian lady and her husband are holding their toddler son. it looks like theyre at a carnival. everyone is smiling, except for the kid. hes pouting.
he was so cute as a baby.
a weird feeling of melancholy hits me hard realizing the people in this picture are no longer around.
san lives alone. apparently hes been alone for a long time. i can tell by the way he operates. hes selfish, not even in a bad way. i get why he caters for himself and tries to keep away from others.
im not even angry anymore. it just makes me sad.
i put the picture back where i found it and go sit by the bed. san doesnt have any alcohol in his house, so i end up having to look up the nearest pharmacy.
i make a quick run for it, deciding to buy him some more medicine and fill up my asthma pump while im at it. i dont know why im doing this when he probably hates me. i guess im always gonna be a sucker for the men i like.
when i get back, his door is unlocked. i panic, but then i find him and his friend eyeing me like they want to kill me.
"where were you?!" san asks me, raising his voice. "dont walk around here. you know this isnt the suburbs."
i lift the pharmacy bag. "i was just getting you medicine. i threw out your expired packs. which were all of them, by the way."
he has a lost look on his face. i turn to his "cousin" and hold my hand out. "the name's yaera marino, san's fake girlfriend. good to officially meet you."
"im wooyoung. san's fake cousin," he says, taking my hand with reluctance.
"are you sleeping here tonight?" i ask him.
"yes he is," san answers. "we're sharing a mattress. you can still sleep on my bed."
i feel a pang of jealously. goddamn it that should be me.
i nod to san. "go take a shower. im gonna give you first aid."
san is confused, looking at me like he doesnt understand english. "you know how to do first aid?"
"i learned it when i was still doing karate. go shower." i chase him away with my hand.
san awkwardly goes off, leaving me alone with wooyoung. i quietly take in the boy, who now that i can see clearly, is obviously younger than san. i cant believe hes in the gang too.
"what took you so long?" i ask him, frowning. "i was worried."
"we had to get rid of the license plate," wooyoung answers, his tone curt and cold. "and you were worried? dont make me laugh."
his words are sharp and sound spiteful. im guessing he knows how san and i began this partnership. i hold my tongue and let him snap.
"you dont care about san. youre using him," he says, but still quiet enough so that san doesnt overhear. "i just want you to know, i can make you disappear at any time i want. all i need is the greenlight from san and you'll be scattered across a lake."
"you think that will protect him?" i ask with a wry smile. wooyoung's fist clenches on the side of him, his knuckles bloody and bruised.
"what makes you think i dont have a million copies of that video? that i dont have a plan in case one of you hurt me? im not some dumb bitch."
wooyoung shakes his head and laughs scornfully. what did he expect me to say? shiver me timbers? i literally know he shot someone tonight.
"and here san thinks you wouldnt hurt him. i dont care what kind of plan you have. if you hurt san, i'll fucking kill you myself," he threatens.
i wouldnt ever hurt him. not even in my dreams. unless he hurts me first, then fuck him.
"trust me, i wont be an issue," i say nonchalantly, sitting on the bed. i lean back and feel a pain in the spot where san kicked me. right above my boobs.
"i just need enough money by the end of the school year. then i'll go back to my country and disappear from your lives forever."
"do you know how much of a risk this is? what san is letting you do?" wooyoung scoffs. "thats if you even make it to the end of the year. if anyone finds out about this, youre both fucked."
"no ones gonna find out unless you tell them," i eye him sharply. i dont trust this guy but apparently san does, enough to tell him about our parternship.
"san has a hard life already. you should just get out of his life," wooyoung snaps. "if you knew why he was in the gang, you'd never ask him to do what youre doing now."
his words somehow make me feel guilty. but why? why should i feel guilty when san doesnt even tell me whats going on.
"woo."
wooyoung's demeanor changes when he hears san's voice. he immediately stiffens and acts completely clueless.
my breath gets stuck in my throat. san is standing there in nothing but a white tank top and a striped red pyjamma pants. his muscles and skinny waist are on perfect display. my mouth suddenly goes dry.
no. fuck. yaera, focus.
"what are you doing?" san asks like hes talking to a kid. i find it highly amusing but keep my face blank.
"i was just defending you," wooyoung says with a scowl.
"im not in any danger. like i told you."
"yeah but–"
"jung wooyoung."
wooyoung groans at san's warning and shoots me a hard glare telling me this conversation isnt close to over. he storms into san's extra room and shuts the door, probably thinking the worst of the situation.
i cant lie, despite his intimidating and handsome appearance, i cant take him seriously at all. i find it endearing that he cares so much about san that he even threatened me. so san isnt alone after all.
he looks at me and sighs, his face adorably awkward. the black strands of his hair are wavy against his forehead, making him look so soft despite the bruises and cuts on his face.
its embarrassing how quickly i forgot how badly i wanted to hurt him today.
"sorry about wooyoung," he says and comes to sits down on the bed. "hes just...possessive."
"you mean protective," i correct him and smile. "its good that you have someone looking out for you. you need it."
san goes quiet but is looking at me like he has a lot on his mind. right, he had to get someone killed tonight. how could i forget.
i take out the first aid materials and scoot closer to him. the warmth of his body is already wafting towards me, the scent of the soap so potent on his skin. its an intoxicating smell.
"can i see where you got hurt?" my voice is so hesitant it doesnt even sound like me.
san is slow with lifting his top. i refrain from visibly gulping at the sight of his beautiful lower body, my mouth going dry when i notice the large gashes against his ribs. they cut him with a knife.
"why would you put on a white shirt to bed?" i ask him with a scowl.
"the bleeding stopped in the shower," san shrugs embarrassedly. "plus this was all i could find."
i inspect the wound and it looks like he cleaned a whole lot of it in the shower. "it looks like i just have to put ointment on and wrap you. you need to go to the doctor if it gets infected, you know that right?"
"i dont think that will be necessary. ive never needed to before," san says coolly.
i cant believe hes just brushing this off. "how often do you get injured like this?" i ask him as i dip a finger into the antibiotic cream. i gently run it over his gashes and he winces. .
"now and then," he forces out, as if trying to hide that it hurts. "it wouldnt really matter the extent. i'd still have to go to school."
i roll my eyes. of course. the perfect student.
i rub in the ointment and it feels like my cheeks are on fire. ive never been this close to anyone. ive never done this for anyone. my hands are shaking as i reach for the sterile bandage.
"are we ever going to talk about what happened tonight?" i ask quietly. "because i dont want us to forget."
san is staring through my soul with his intimidating, and pretty brown eyes. i can see him withdrawing. hes already far away.
"i know i was reckless and im sorry. but please dont lie to me, san. i really fucking hate not knowing whats going on. i know you were probably trying to protect me, but you could have been honest."
i expect him to say sorry too. but only silence is returned.
"i wont lie to you again. ive seen the effects it has," he mutters.
"i dont want our partnership to be us just lying to and antagonizing each other. i know you dont trust me. but we're gonna have to trust each other for this shit to work."
"i do trust you," san says after a few moments pass. he tightens as i roll the bandage around his torso. "i just dont trust myself. and everyone else."
i stay quiet hoping for him to elaborate. i feel it coming. the hope is bubbling in my chest.
"i watched yunho die," his voice is flat, as if drained from emotion. "he got stabbed right infront of wooyoung and i. we should be used to it, we've seen tons of people come and go in the last four years."
i finish bandaging him and lower his shirt reluctantly. san watches my every move, and im surprised he lets me.
"im sorry you had to go through that so young," i tell him, genuinely. the look on his face is so distant that it feels like hes given up a long time ago.
"is this is how its gonna be? forever?" i ask. "is there any way out of this for you?"
i remember san implying that he wasnt doing this out of his freewill. which means his boss must have a lot of leverage over him.
"i dont know. im still trying to figure that out."
"what do they have on you?"
san chuckles darkly, his soft laugh full of scorn and hopelessness. "well, they know where i live, for starters. they know where i go to school. they know everything about me."
and his parents? where the fuck are your parents san?
he can see the question in my eyes. his smile is filled with gloom. "you can thank my dad for that. hes the reason all of this started. the reason ive been in this servitude for most of my childhood."
i frown. "servitude?"
"my dad...he was a shit guy," san sighs. "he was an alcoholic gangster with gambling tendencies. he made a bet with the 105ths he couldnt repay. so he took off. and when they couldnt make him pay it off, they took me instead."
"im paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, thanks to my shit father. and i dont have any money so i had to give all i could so they dont kill me. myself."
i cant believe it. san is basically in a slave contract. and theres nothing he can do about it. my chest feels tight.
"what about your mom?" i ask softly.
san shrugs and lays down on the bed, looking straight at the ceiling as he crosses his arms behind his head.
"shes gone. she left when the gang stuff got too complicated. they sent a warning to our apartment telling my dad to pay his debt, in the form of a petrol bomb. it scared the shit out of her, so she took off."
"without you!?" i ask incredulously.
"while i was at school. i just got used to it. coming home to nothing."
what kind of parents...fuck. i cant even say anything. im just fucking sad. i feel a hundred times worse about blackmailing him now.
"the 105ths said they would let me go if i paid off everything. theyre still letting me go to school as long as i dont neglect the gang."
"what if you ran away?" i ask curiously. san stares at me blankly.
"they would find me and do to me what they did to yunho. or even worse. its not worth it really. im just hoping it ends soon. then ill disappear. for good."
and now im dampening his plans by making him share his money with me. god i hate myself.
"how much do you owe?"
"i dont know. i just know the deal ends when miss A calls it off. she deems how much is enough."
i scowl. "what? and what if it never gets called off? what if they trap you here?"
"im hoping it wont come to that. ive been loyal for a long time."
that doesnt mean shit when people only love using you. but i dont say that. it already means so much that san decided to say something. to be honest. i cant lie and act like im okay after hearing the truth. but i wont pity him. san deserves better than that.
"ill help you," i look down at him fiercely. "ill help you cancel out your dads debt."
san looks at me deeply. "thats not necessary."
i hold out a hand. "dont even say it. get a fixed amount from your boss and ill help you get it."
"why would you do that?"
my stomach turns at the question. i dont even know. i cant say its because of the mild lady boner i have for him. its more than that. choi san deserves more than what happened to him.
"its only fair, isnt it?" i say with a small smile. "i get to go back home and you get to go to...where was it? nottingham?"
he wants to study pharmacy. i wonder if he meant that.
sans cheeks are red. is he...blushing?
"why do you remember that?" he asks with a soft groan.
i chuckle to myself. "cause its weird as fuck. england? what the hell do you wanna do in england? seriously if you want to go to europe there are so many better places. why nottingham?"
san shrugs embarrassedly. "i like football."
"you? like football?" i scoff. "that's the reason you wanna live in england?"
"why do you sound so shocked? can't i like football?" he asks defensively.
"you don't even look like you've watched soccer a day in your life. i'd never guess that you'd like an english team."
san snorts and laughs to himself a little. my legs go jelly a little. i keep underestimating how adorable he can be.
"my mother is a huge soccer fan," he admits fondly. my smile is quick to fall away. "once we went to watch her favourite team play in nottingham. she was so excited about it, she got me interested in it."
i feel myself soften. "so you want to go for your mother? is she going to move with you?"
"no," he sighs. i must be shit at connecting the dots because i still dont get it.
"she's in Korea. i can't go back there. i had to give up my Korean citizenship this year because I'm not enlisting."
"so you'll never see her again?"
my question hangs in the air. san doesnt answer it, because even he doesnt know. he still has hope. i can tell. he just doesnt know if its still worth holding onto.
everything has gotten deep so fast.
"maybe we should go to bed. we still have school tomorrow," i say and lie down next to him. theres a small gap between us that i know neither of us will close. but it feels good to hope.
san tries to get up but groans as he holds his injured side. i push him down gently by the shoulder, his eyes slightly widening.
"youre too tired to get up anyway," i say softly. "just stay here. i promise i wont bite."
unless you want me to.
san looks at me awkwardly and nods, lying back down on his back. his eyes are aimed at the ceiling and i pull my knees inward as i lay on my side looking at him.
everything about him is so...i dont even have the words to explain it. i just have a feeling that everything will work out for us exactly the way we want it to.
"thank you," i say. san slowly turns his head and raises his eyebrows at me in confusion.
"for being honest. i know you didnt wanna mention all that. but thanks."
san doesnt say anything more. theres a ghost of a smile on his face, but its enough for me to hold onto. choi san, maybe youre not actually that much of an asshole.
"goodnight, yaera."
***
san
i thought i imagined it. having her curled up in my arms. i felt it that night, her warm skin against mine and her soft breaths and hair on my chest. i told myself i was imagining it. because the morning after, she was gone.
yaera vanished like thin air. i feel embarrassed for everything that came out of my mouth last night. i cant believe i actually told her what happened to my family.
are you that desperate for friends? i ask the loser in the mirror as i get ready for school. the bruises in my face are so bad it looks like im going to have to wear a mask all day.
wooyoung comes out of the spare room as im almost finished with breakfast. he doesnt greet me with a good morning, instead he looks around expectantly.
"wheres the blackmailer?" he asks sarcastically. "is she also a magician?"
"her parents drop her at school so she left," i answer dryly. "morning to you too, asshole."
wooyoung gives me a bland stare. "you didnt come to bed last night."
"sorry? are we married?"
"what the fuck are you doing san?" wooyoung shouts at me. oh god are we really doing this at six in the morning. "do you actually like this chick or what?"
"where did you get that idea?" i ask him calmly, knowing it will rile him up even more.
"maybe the fact that you slept in the same bed. youre letting her blackmail you for fucks sake–"
"wooyoung, we both passed out. with clothes on. and didnt i ask you to fucking trust me?" i glare at him. because why is he acting like my wife.
"i dont like this one bit." he shakes his head like a disapproving parent.
"you dont have to like it. all you have to do is let me do the work."
i feel my phone buzz in my pockets. i open it and see a missed call from yeosang. ugh this loser.
i open a message from him and its a birthday invitation. oh shit i almost forgot.
"woo, wanna come with me to a party?" i ask him. maybe he'll be less annoying if he can get the attention of some private school girl too.
"is it gonna be one of those fancy private school prick parties?" woo scowls, then smiles. "free food. im in."
"not to mention you could probably sell some stuff from there."
woo suddenly gets a burst if excitement. "that reminds me, i stole from that black dragon dickhead. we still have to split up the cash."
now that hes reminded me, i move to punch woo in the arm. "owwww!" he yells and shoves me. "what the fuck!"
"youre worried about me getting blackmailed when you possibly started a gang war," i snap at him. "when are you gonna tell miss A?"
"i dont plan to," woo says confidently. my face pales. no way.
"are you serious?" i ask worriedly. woo nods confidently. too confident who saw one of our own get mutilated last night.
"since im keeping your secret, you better keep mine."
thats entirely different, i want to say. i wanna argue with woo but the annoyingly playful nature on his face tells me hes not going to take me seriously at all.
"you know what they say," woo says with a grin. "out of sight, out of mind."
***
yaera
"youre in a good mood," my father notes as we get in the car that morning. and hes right. i cant take the smile off my face because i woke up on choi san's chest.
"i have a good feeling about this week," i say. my mom snorts, her eyes glued to her phone.
"and what brought on this feeling?"
its weird that my father is asking, because he genuinely never seems interested in anything i do. but since we're on the topic...
"miss evans got me a tutor. i invited him to come over after school today, is that okay?" i ask them. my mother immediately turns around with the signature sneer on her face.
"and who is miss evans to assign you a tutor? does she plan to pay for this?" she asks.
"uh? my AP bio teacher? you met her the beginning of the year?" i remind her. "and no, im paying out of my own pocket."
"good," she dryly says. "in that case its fine. the maids will all be home. as long as hes gone by dinner."
i quietly fistbump myself in the backseat, my stomach filled with butterflies. san, in my room, teaching me stuff i dont care about at all. what a dream come true.
best part is? he wont have to meet this family at all.
im skipping out of the car by the time they drop me off at school. i light up a cigarette as i stroll through the parking lot, feeling like a girl from some book who just landed a date with her crush. maybe life is worth living.
"marino!" a voice calls me. i pause in my tracks as i blow out my steam, turning around slowly to see...
...ah fuck.
"hey marino!" kang yeosang calls me with his signature douchebag smirk as he walks up to me. "long time no see."
i take an extra long drag from my cig because god it is needed for any conversation with yeosang.
"what do you want?" i ask him. he acts surprised and offended.
"wow, is that how you greet an old friend?" he shakes his head with a sigh. "kinda mean you know?"
i roll my eyes. "get to what it is you want, you know you and i have never been friends."
yeonsang clicks his tongue, his half smile not even shrunken by an inch. "always the pleasantries with you, marino. i just wanted to know if youve seen lazarus. since i hear you two come as a package nowadays. congrats by the way. you two totally look good together."
"lazarus?" i repeat dumbly. "who the fuck is that?"
"choi san," yeosang giggles like its the funniest thing ever.
"why do you call him lazarus?"
yeosang tilts his head at me like its obvious. "cause hes a scholarship student? hello?"
this fucking asshole. i toss my cigarette at him and he dodges fast enough to my dismay.
"dont call him that," i hiss. "plus why do you want to see him?"
"thats between us men, sweetheart," he says as a matter of fact. "just let him know when you see him, to give me a call. he doesnt answer my messages."
"maybe you should take the hint then."
yeosang looks at me with strange fascination, as if hes high in this very moment. its like he finds me amusing, hes just always giving me that stupid lopsided smile.
"i wonder how it happened, the two of you," he says with a glint of mischief. as if he cant wait to say something offensive. "its just funny how your type went from jongho...to him."
heat hits my face in embarassment. "jongho isnt the only guy ive had a crush on you know, you can stop bringing him up for every fucking thing. we never even dated," i say defensively.
this is why i hate talking to anyone my sister was friends with. all they could talk about was the past. not to mention most of the people she liked were fucking horrible.
"you never dated, but you were in love with him," yeosang childishly points out. "and even if he wont admit it, he probably felt something for you too."
i scoff. no he didnt. choi jongho doesnt love anyone but himself. id learnt that too late.
"i dont care," i grit out. "why are you even bringing this up?"
"yas would have wanted you to be with jongho. especially because he couldnt have her," yeosang just keeps boiling my blood. i cant believe this. i cant believe he just said that.
"i dunno how she would feel seeing you with...lazarus."
"shut the fuck up," i snap.
yeosang lifts his hands in defense. "im just saying because i care, yae. you cant just date someone you dont know. choi san might not be the sweet guy you think he is."
what is he even playing at? does he think san will sell him drugs if he goes around badmouthing him?
"and youre sweet?" i scoff. "you and jongho and whoever else was in that fucked up group? you think you can talk because you knew my sister? dont act like you ever cared about me."
"god youre so sensitive," yeosang laughs meanly. "i was just playing with you. and you wonder why you never got invited to our parties. youre just the strawman of fun arent you?"
"that doesnt make any fucking sense," i snap at him. "i can never get back the time i wasted having this conversation. mind your business and leave me alone, yeah, stronzo? and dont mention san to me ever again."
"dont forget to let him know i was looking for him!" yeosang calls after me as i storm off. i dont even need to turn around to know hes smiling, completely full of himself.
***
i only see san when lunch rolls around. all our common classes are later in the day and ive been obsessively waiting to see him all day. ive got a busy day ahead, my mind set on a very specific target.
i find him by the abandoned stairwell, and its like hes been waiting for me.
he shakes his head at me as i come, i narrow my eyes in confusion.
"am i missing something?" i ask him. "whats with the face?"
"why dont you check your phone?" san grumbles at me. his eyes trail behind me, where i turn to see jongho descending the stairs.
hes smiling like a prick. oh god. two assholes in one day.
"i guess the two of you dont learn," he says tauntingly. "this isnt a place for your dates."
"we havent done anything wrong," san says annoyedly. im glad he finds jongho as annoying as i do.
"maybe not you. but her," jongho turns to me with a smile. "i see your hair still isnt dyed back. you were given two warnings. one more and its suspension. i dont think your failing grades can afford two weeks out."
looking at him now, i dont know what i ever saw in him. im so embarrassed to say ive been rejected by this asshole like a hundred times.
i cant risk detention today. it would spoil mine and san's plans and would just be boring as hell. i guess im going to have to cave.
jongho smirks dreadfully. "why you so quiet, yae? didnt i tell you'd get you back?"
"look, im sorry okay," i say against my will. "i didnt mean to punch you. and ill have my hair dyed by tomorrow. good enough for you?"
san looks between us in confusion. i hope he doesnt ask any questions. if he thinks im crazy now he shouldnt ever hear of jongho-obsessed yaera.
"not good enough, sorry," jongho starts writing on that stupid peach notepad and i sigh. this time he only writes my name. meaning ill have detention without san. miss morri will love this.
"maybe next time you'll watch your mouth," jongho smiles at us before strollling away like the arrogant pig he is. i sigh heavily as san turns to me with narrowed eyes.
"why does he hate you so much?" san asks me annoyedly. "he just came here asking specifically. what did you do?"
"why are you assuming i did something?" i scowl. san gives me an obvious look.
"why else would he hate you that much?"
"because hes an asshole," i scoff. "i might be one too, but im nothing like him. my sister never reciprocated his love and he made it everyone elses problem. he also told me i should have died instead of her."
"what the fuck. he needs help."
"most people at this school do," i sigh. "speaking of help, i need yours."
san gives me his suspicious, pretty eyes. i smile excitedly. "im letting you into my side hustle. you remember how i told you i got my savings?"
"you said you stole most of it..."
"bingo."
san groans. "i hope you dont expect me to help you steal a car or something."
i roll my eyes. he must think im an adrenaline junkie or something. "dont be ridiculous. all i need is a look out before school ends. you think you can do that?"
san sighs hopelessly, surrendering. "what do you need?"
"get me into the boys lockeroom."
"...what are you doing there?"
"if i tell you it wont be special, would it?" i say and he scowls.
"dont do anything stupid. what about detention? are you going?"
i smirk. "obviously not. you still owe me a tutoring session."
san nods in a way that tells me he definetely forgot. how shameless.
"luckily for you, my parents allowed you to come over. and they wont be home till night and i'll make sure youre out of sight before then."
san nods. "just tell me what to bring."
the day goes by quickly until the last period finally rolls around. its geography, and as much as i love this subject, i end up skipping. san is having english and i couldnt convince him to skip, so i wait for him after school near the sportsfield.
the school soccer team are practicing, meaning all the lockerooms are unoccupied. its perfect.
i didnt usually target them, but the plan felt brilliant when i thought of it. usually i went for the girls, they were easy. expensive phone cases, airpods, clothes, and luxury perfume. all things that sold so easily online. people would do anything for a bargain.
can you imagine how much soccer gear would sell? i know damn well not every one of those players were using ALL of their gear.
plus, i need to get back at that asshole jongho. i didnt know his number so i'd just have to look around and guess whose locker smells the most potent and obnoxious.
san comes jogging around the bend, looking so prim and proper in his school blazer. i smirk in greeting. "you ready for some fun?" i ask him.
"i hope this doesnt take long, you know we have to catch the bus if we're going to your house," he reminds me.
i managed to convince my parents i was taking the bus with him home so they didnt have to pick us up. they called the school and made sure san wasnt a trouble maker and questioned his records. you know, a completely normal response.
"dont worry. i'll be in and out, lets go."
i take san's arm and we sneak into the separate building reserved for the boys lockerrooms. of course it smells like stale air, cologne and dampness.
i walk past the lockers and gaze at the numbers and locks. i check my watch. practice ends at 4:30 pm. its currently 4:00.
i nod to san and gesture with my eyes to the door. "guard while i get busy." i take various pins out of my pocket, having brought them specifically for this purpose.
"how are you gonna get those lockers open?" san asks me. i bend down infront of the first locker and start fiddling with my pins.
"lock-picking," i answer distractedly.
"you know how to pick locks?" san says in disbelief.
"you dont?"
"no. im not a weirdo."
"youre such a lousy gangster. arent you supposed to be street smart?"
"im not a gangster," san corrects me with an eye roll. hes feeling sassy today. "im a part time employee."
i cant take him seriously and end up chuckling. the locker clicks open and i find only a folded uniform on the inside. i rummage through the pockets and find a wallet. i open it and theres no cash, only cards. useless because as soon as its found to be missing they'll all be blocked.
i sigh and check deeper. i find a silver watch. its an omega brand. jackpot.
i slip it into my pocket and fold the uniform back. they should really secure these lockers better.
"are you getting somewhere?" san asks as he nervously looks out the door.
"of course," i say with ease and move onto the next locker. its slightly harder to open. i remember a specific scenario like this coming up in the youtube tutorial i watched. all i have to do is whatever that guy did.
it takes longer than i thought. when it pops open i can see san's distressed eyes glaring at me to hurry up.
and thats when i see it. the treasure guaranteed to win us a mini lottery.
"holy shit, look at this baby," i gasp and take out the camera, showing it to san.
"who leaves a camera in their gym locker?" san scowls. "that person deserves to get robbed."
"its expensive too!" i giggle in excitement. "its a Lumix GH5! you know the price of this? we're gonna be fucking rich!"
"who does it belong to?"
i shrug and look back inside the locker. there isnt much except the camera and a few pairs of gym socks and knee pads. "i guess we'll figure it out when we look at it."
i slam the locker shut and we're about to leave when san suddenly shoves me back. i stare at him in confusion as he runs out and i hear voices on the outside.
"what are you doing here?" someone asks him suspiciously. oh god. i recognize that voice. jongho.
"i...was looking for you," san says, and i can tell hes fighting for his life thinking of a good lie. "are there still spots left on the team?"
jongho scoffs. "youre kidding, right?"
theres an awkward silence. oh fuck i need to save him from himself.
"stick to the books, choi san. at least you dont embarrass yourself there."
"no im serious...i wanna join your team. is there anywhere to sign up?"
jongho groans. "im team captain, you have to go with me to the coach for this."
"lets go now then."
"i need to get something from my locker."
"uh...im in a hurry. can we just go now? i cant miss my bus home."
hes trying to get jongho away so i can sneak out. theyre right at the door. ive never held my breath so long.
"ugh! fine! couldnt you have asked earlier?" jongho snaps. "im guessing you need soccer for a sports scholarship too, huh? you wont get into any schools if you suck ass by the way."
i can just picture san's clenched jaw as he holds himself together around jongho. i hear their voices fade and steps grow further away. i stuff the camera and watch into my bag and sprint out and make my way around the school buildings. now i can jump the fence on the other side of the field.
i call san instantly when im alone, looking around for any security. he picks up on the first ring. "hey, im at the fence we jumped after detention. the bus stop is somewhere nearby here."
"okay okay mom, I'll be home right now," san says into the phone and im guessing hes making an excuse to get away from jongho now.
its funny how everything plays out. san gets to me within a few minutes and his face is red with stress. i hold my laugh in.
"next time YOU be the lookout," he says with a scowl and it makes me burst out into laughter.
"i thought you could lie better than that!" i nearly double over from chuckles. "you shouldve heard yourself. seriously youre a criminal and thats how you lie?"
"oh shut it. he wouldve seen you!"
san's angry face is really so adorable. he expects me to take him seriously like this?
"you should have hit him over the head instead," i sigh. "we couldve made him believe everything was a dream."
we jump the fence and end up catching the bus somewhere near my neighbourhood. the entire bus is empty, and san is on the verge of falling asleep, leaning his head against the window. im severely bored and decide to take the camera out to inspect the specs.
its such a good camera. i dont know a lot about cameras but i know by the brand its quality. i wonder which soccer guy has this hobby. maybe he wants to be a professional photographer.
i open the existing pictures and find random pictures of cars, birds, sunsets, and aesthetic places around the school. theres a folder named "her", so i click on it hoping to see something different.
...pictures of me.
thousands of them.
i feel my face pale, which is wrong on so many levels because im brown as fuck. the first few pictures are of me with a cigarette, smoking on and off campus. theyre from a year ago based on my hair colour. the other pictures are dated from two years ago and theyre filled with me in my school uniform.
the point of view is the part that leaves me cold in my bones. from above, places that cant easily be spotted. random corners capturing me sitting on my phone, bending over...looking around...
thats until i realize the lavender scrunchie in my hair. and the lack of bangs.
these arent just pictures of me. in fact, most of them are my sister.
next chapter
#ateez angst#ateez imagines#choi san angst#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez scenarios#choi san#choi san fluff#san angst#gang au#ateez gang au#ateez mystery
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maybeee V, X, and Z? :]
fandom meme :D
hiiii lex! thank you !!!!
V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
well i answered my dndads one earlier, so thats cheating. lets see, what fandoms am i in LOL (me <- guy who hopped quickly from a years long hyperfix to my current dndads hyperfix so all my other interests are mush in my head).
Dimension 20 - Evan Kelmp/K "Dream" Tanaka <3 I absolutely adooore them and it makes me sad there's not more content for them!!!
All For the Game - Andrew/Neil/Kevin !!! kandreil my guys of all time. literally a life-changing ship for me. i think about them on a weekly basis at minimum
Young Justice - I'll be honest, I did not watch past the second season. BUT for the start of YJ/Batman in general! Nightwing/Kid Flash! I literally have fan art I drew in high school of them on my wall still LOL
X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM
oh my god UHHHH
NICKY HEMMICK (aftg) HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. EVER.
Carol Wilson (dndads) <3 no elaboration needed.
Ylfa Snorgelsson (dimension 20) is my daughter and is always correct when she chooses to kill someone
Beverly Toegold V (naddpod)! literally the epitome of this question to me. hes my precious baby, my actual son, he has grown and developed from all of his mistakes and hes turning into such a lovely young man and i am just so proud of him-!
Erlin Kindleaf (naddpod) and while we're talking about beverly! obligatory erlin mention because he lives in my head rent free. boy i love you so much.
Blue (this is how you lose the time war) <333 ive only had blue for like, 50 pages so far but if anything happens to her, i am going to tear the universe apart. i know something is definitely going to happen to her but i need to live in obliviousness for now
grandma highforge (drawtectives) is actually perfect. actually just count 7 through 10 as all three of the drawtectives because they can do no wrong in my eyes
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)
i need you to know that youve sent me the most impossible questions for me specifically to answer. my mind goes blank whenever i get asked any questions like these. this isnt a negative, im having fun and this is exactly what i need rn, but i need you to know LMAO
more of a general fandom thing rather than anything specific, but i reeeally wanna get into fan-binding. i talk about this sometimes, but i actually specialized in bookbinding in school, and it makes me sad that i dont, like, have a reason to do it anymore? so i think getting into fan-binding would be so fun! plus i see some of the books people make and i am just BLOWN AWAY. ive always been very, like, utilitarian i suppose, with my books? my professors always say i make them plain, lol, so i love love love seeing the more inventive covers and bindings that people do!!! i really need to push my craft some more, so i need to like, find fanfiction to print out and bind. i have one in mind already, but its for a fandom i left, so it would probably function more as a gift for a friend than for me ^-^
#sorry this took so long. like a quarter of it was spent trying to decide what my rvb otp was#and then i realized thats an impossible question and chose a different fandom#ask#lex the lesbiann
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[tw: some mentions of past eating that could be considered disordered]
hey! another finnish vegan here!
I guess I'll just write some of my thoughts here.
- I hate it when I follow someone here and then they post pictures of "meat", or as I like to call it, mutilated corpses, especially when that particular person makes great art or writes amazing stuff or something, and I have to unfollow them
- I love how much better my relationship to food has become since I became vegan! Previously I had to force myself to eat, and when I did, I saw all those animals that had to suffer in my mind's eye. Then I realise I hurt others more than myself by this, and stopped eating animal products. Now I make food at home for my parents and myself all the time, sometimes several times a week! I actually enjoy food! I didn't understand why people said food could be good and enjoyable back then, but now I go to school lunches and eat my tofu or soijarouhe (don't know what that is in English, possibly soy groats) and actually think "this is so good" and then I eat my bread with hummus on it and for a few moments I think life might be decent afterall, you know. I even toyed with the thought of becoming a chef to a vegan restaurant when I get a bit older, but that wouldn't really be for me. I want to be a veterinarian, so maybe, just maybe, I could try to make the life of animals better. Or even ease some of the pain of those who are coming to their ends.
- Personally I don't understand when people say they couldn't be vegan because of cheese, or seem to think I made some kind of sacrifice when I gave cheese made from dairy up. I didn't. I just saw all of those pictures taken from the farms that "produce" milk by exploiting and hurting poor animals, and I felt no regret, ever. I don't really use vegan cheese much, pretty much only as a topping for pizza on special occasions. (Obviously I'm applauding for all the vegans who did struggle to get over (dairy) cheese. You did the right choice and I'm so proud of you!)
Thank you for being here, you know. Really.
Also, a question for you: Do you think it is right to call an animal "se" (it) in Finnish when talking? As background information for those who are not Finnish, in casual talk people often call other people "se" too.
I don't think it'd be wrong to do that, but I avoid it myself. All animals are "hän" (a third person pronoun, gender neutral) for me. Maybe they wouldn't be, if everyone or at least the majority of people understood their inherent worth as living, feeling beings.
Thank you once again!
hehe moi!! ihana tavata sinut myös!! 💗💗💗
🥩 - ah yes i also feel bad seeing mutuals post meat pictures. :( any time i see pictures of animal products or hear people talking about preparing them i remember all the ways animals are currently hurting. im sorry to hear you experience this so much. its good to hear you try your best to keep your space happy
🍎 - omg i love love love that you feel better about eating now !! 🥰 disordered eating is... hell. i have heard this is the case for SO many vegans. so nice that something we can do to help other animals also helps us and the enviroment. ding ding ding, you just won peace at heart. ❤ i got the job title of a cook before i went vegan and working at kitchens is fun besides the fact you are forced to taste meat dishes at work though unless it's a vegan place and i HATE it. 😢 becoming a vet is amazing omg, that takes some serious skill! a vet and a vegan fit together perfectly. you will be perfect for the job because you truly care 🐷🐮🐱 i wish i could make something soijarouhe based for you ahaha
🧀 - i agree, after i connected the dots and went vegan all of the arguments i made as a meat eater sound SO weird to me. i like how cheese tastes very much but because of the animal suffering involved i never really missed it again after going vegan. "taste or life?" is the best way to put it! but indeed vegans who struggled to give up cheese or really miss it are absolutely legends! :D
🐷 - okay so my situation with finnish pronouns is pretty weird 😅 basically, i have always used "se" for everyone. my family and friends all use "se" for everyone. it just comes so naturally ehehe... unless i'm talking about someone in front of them, then i'm more... alert? animal rights is such an important subject to me so when i talk about it i'm very alert as well. i do often use the "hän" pronoun for the reason you mentioned. sp it can help others consider how other animals are important individuals too 😁
💗 - thank you too lovely anon. for your interesting ask and the kindest words 💌
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